#I think its best if its left up to the watcher. I think if it was revealed to us it would ruin the horror element

[nitronine]

I hope nothing gets explained about 73 yards, actually. I hope its left ambiguous. I don't think it would be a bad episode if RTD doesn't tell us everything, in fact I think it makes it a better one

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - It's the Dog Days of BL Again

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

May 2024 Final Week

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Godday (Sat YT) ep 5 of 12 - The side couple is so damn pouty and adorable. So far as Yak and Dee are concerned, I love that they kept up with the cosplay stuff and didn’t just drop it as a one off. I'm just genuinely enjoying seeing how much fun they have together and watching them accidentally falling in love with each other and trying not to.

Linguistic corner!

I don’t normally watch any BTS stuff, but for reasons known only to my serotonin-seeking brain, I’ve been watching a few for this show. And I MUST talk about the way Great speaks Thai. It’s so different from all of the other Good GMMTV Boys. He’s way more casual. Not rude, but definitely not as formal or as polite as any of the actors around him. It’s difficult to describe but just LISTEN to the way he hops registers and pronouns pretty consistently. Sometimes in the same sentence. He even softens his polite particles. I've never heard an actor do that out of character. It’s fascinating. I wonder if it has to do with the fact that he is older (then most of his costars) and comes outta the Bangkok club scene, and was older when he joined GMMTV. Frankly, it’s the closest I’ve ever seen on TV to the way people actually talked in Bangkok. 

My Stand-In (Thai Fri iQIYI) ep 6 of 12 eps - honestly these two shows are neck and neck for my favorites running right now and Wandee got the edge because it left me smiling, but yesterday, Stand-In would have come out on top. Such a great show. It’s so sinister. So not romantic. Which makes me feel like... it's not really a BL. And, yet, I DO NOT CARE. Because I’m enjoying its little evil soul so much. “Poor Joe” is pretty much all that goes through my head the whole time I'm watching, and I'm enjoying poking at that pain.

We Are (Weds iQIYI) ep 9 of 16 - I love all of the 3rd wheels. Kluen is kinda great. And I’m not just saying that 'cause I have a crush on Title, it’s because Kluen is so open and genuine. (Unless they fuck up his character.) I even enjoyed the backstory for Fang and Tan. Honestly, the friendship group is the reason to watch this show, they’re great and funny, and make everything enjoyable. It’s a soap opera, like Only Friends, but gentle with its characters and us watchers. Which is what I really want from my BL. I don’t want all of this Friend Zone backstabbing bullpuckie. 

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) eps 1-2 of 12 - I like it, frankly more than I expected to. It’s a bit slow moving, but the characters are interesting and the dynamic of everybody living in the same house together is fun. I haven’t seen this style of housemates centered Thai BL in years. I identify FAR too closely with the crass-talking bug-killing pansexual. On a completely different note, I really hope Best and Seng have an NC scene together. Last week I would never have said that, but now I think they have good chemistry. Am I crazy?

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 8 of 12 - They are sickeningly sweet boyfriends, and Moo is such a brat and so demanding. It’s charming. There was even a little bit of dancing together which I’m sure made @heretherebedork happy. Dancing okay but NO SINGING. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - Asami's past was cool to see. I enjoyed that his character finally got fleshed out and given some solidity. However, it felt like it came a little too late. Even though I know this is the way Japan tends to roll with BL timing. I wanted to like him sooner then this. Now I'm not really that invested.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 8 fin - It was an extremely good and very satisfying ending for a JBL, which we cannot expect, so I'm disposed to dole out top marks for that. Also we definitely have a new contender for Namgoong award for best wingman. (Japan's favorite: the bespectacled variant.)

Summation:

Kindly Ryota goes to uni and ends up rooming with his former childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend for, as it turns out, cute roommate reasons. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake, the framing is gorgeous and it is a stylish piece. As a friends to lovers cohabitation narrative this was a classic 2000s sweet yaoi. I enjoy that kind of tradition out of Japan even if it (and the characters) come off as a little slow as a result. Still, it's nice to get a traditional BL out of Japan that is satisfying, not slapstick, AND did not hurt us. 8/10 recommended

Blossom Campus (Korea Thurs Gaga & iQIYI) ep 5-6fin - gonna have to wait until next week, for mysterious hotel wifi reasons.

It's airing but...

You Made My Day (Thai YT) ep 1 of 5 - mini series staring the I Will Knock You couple Tar & Bom, started but I couldn't find it. I also didn't try very hard.

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. I NEED TO SEE THIS. How?

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ????) ep 2 of 10 - yeah I can't find it. Comments from last week suggest this is not my thing anyway, but Lee Long Shi very much IS my thing, so... maybe I'll put it on hold for a bit and y'all can let me know.

In case you missed

VBL (Taiwan) is released 'Special Episode' epilogues to their 4 2023 series on Gagaoolala, Viki & Viu - watch each on the respective shows' page: You Are Mine, VIP Only, Stay By My Side, Anti Reset.

My Biker 2 (Thai movie trailer) suposedly released somewhere, search me.

The Time of Huannan (Taiwan movie) went to theaters, not sure if we will get this, and it may not be BL.

And here's a 2023 that I missed and finally watched:

After Sundown AKA Saengrawi

ZeeNunew vehicle from 2023, recut into a movie on YouTube. It's from Mandee and horror, yet I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.

Pronoun use is ter/chan or rao (no nai or pom) because of the historical setting + softness of the relationship.

It's oddly sweet and wholesome, for a ghost story. Phloeng and Rawee enter into an arranged marriage for confusing prophetic reasons and a twisted fate, solving a mystery of the past that is haunting Phloeng's family and harming Rawee. Honestly, it makes no actual sense, but it's kinda historical, and very pretty, so I enjoyed it more than I should. 8/10

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

June Releases

6/7 My Love Mix-Up (Fridays Thai Adaptation not sure where this will air) - I do love G4 and I did like the original and maybe this time these characters will actually kiss? I'm actually fine with this pick-up. I kind of enjoy seeing different countries remake the same IP. Especially if it's IP I'm mostly unfazed by.

6/7 The Last Time (Thailand Fridays YouTube?) - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something?

6/9 Love Sea (Thailand Sundays MAME warning iQIYI - New characters to the Mameverse. While travelling, a writer has a one night stand with a very irritating man. YES I WILL TRASH WATCH THIS. Drinking will happen on Sundays I guess. (Look, I do usually travel on weekends, so it may end up being Monday Mame Trash - which jives.)

6/14 Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru 2 AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai 2 Haime! (Japan movie Gaga?) - Continues the (frankly) lackadaisical story from part 1.

6/15 Sunset Vibes AKA SunsetXVibes (Thailand Saturdays) Star Hunter and MosBank on iQIYI so if nothing else it's gonna be a wild and sexy ride. A one night stand but "uh-oh he’s my boss," adapted from a web series. I’m game. Maybe it’ll have a better story than Big Dragon? Maybe it will have a plot? We can but hope.

6/26 The Rebound (Thai Weds VIU?) - MeenPing are back in their 3rd BL together, a basketball based romance (Meen was a national basketball player, so yay for that). I like this pair better than most (I still do miss Meen with Est but Est has a fantastic looking new BL coming from GMMTV so yeah...) Anyway I'm up for a sports romance starring a man who, yah know, actually played that sport so... I'm game (pun intended).

(Speaking of, why can't Est be a merman? This... I ask you?.)

Why You? (Khmer movie - Billed as a horror romance BL this is supposed to release this month.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

In my world we call this smug. (Only Boo!)

LOOK AT HIS ARM?! This has been your Goodness Gracious Great Guns Of Huge 2024 moment.

(All Wandee Goodday)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity

@rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

There's these tricks, remember.

[scramblescrew]

Hiya there! I saw you're taking Requests

If its not a problem I would like to request yandere Cookie run Ancients with a reader that tried (and failed at) fighting back after being kidnapped by them.

((OMGSH THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FIRST REQUEST, ANON! Also I’ll give you this for the request, I hope you enjoy!))

((Art by DevSister art team!))

Yandere Ancients with a defiant Darling

Let me tell you- this king was LIVID

Why must you fight him after he saved you!? Seeing you try and shove him away from yourself, screaming, crying, begging, trying to get back to the world that was trying to corrupt you…take you away from him… “why must you fight me!?I’m only doing what’s best for you!” At some point, Dark Cacao would have enough and lock you in your isolated room with watchers guarding your door for days, Dark Cacao coming in every day in hopes you would run into his arms and need him. If you haven’t submit to his demands then he would leave you locked in until the next time he came by.

Just pretend to submit for your sanity and his trust, maybe he’ll let you out as long as he trusts you 😉

One word, four syllables. De-lu-soin-al. She firmly believes that you have been g*slit into hating her or that you were severely sick, how could you possibly want to run away from her!? You must be sick! She sets herself into the mindset of your caretaker, your savior. She would often find herself laying on your bed with you, held tightly to her chest. Yes, you still fought her for your “freedom”, but she wouldn’t let you….she needed you, just as much as you needed her.

“Please, my little bee, stop fighting me! Let me help you!”

“JUST LET ME CURE YOU! THOSE HORRIBLE PEOPLE INFECTED YOUR MIND, AND I NEED TO HELP YOU!”

“Oh, you can just stop trying now~ ..why? Cause you’re NOT gonna win!~ Hahahaha!” GCC would often grab you by your arms and fly up high into the sky, dangling you by your arms as you frantically try to hold onto her for dear life. Once she thinks you’ve had enough, she clutches you to her chest and slowly floated down to the ground. She then carried you back to her bedroom and cuddled you close to her chest.

“If you ever run away from me, I promise you, I will always find you…”

“I love you..even if you test me so much…”

“Please…I’ve tried for so long to get you here, where it is SAFE for you..! Just let me love you….” This cookie- OMG. He would try his best to understand why you were fighting against his love but all cookies have a breaking point. He would drag you to his bedroom and just lay on his bed, his arms wrapped around you for dear life. “My love….I love you but you test me so much….but I’ll keep trying…”

Only a small handful of cookies have seen HBC anything BUT joyful. But one day, you were the unfortunate Cookie to witness something that seemed…out of character for HBC, her RAGE. All of her out of character-ness at that moment stemmed from you trying to fight her for your freedom…

“WHY MUST YOU BE SO STUBBORN!? DON’T YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH I NEED YOU AND HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME!? You’re my missing piece….a part of me that was taken from me before I was born….and I-…I can’t lose you again….you complete me…just please….stop fighting and stay with me….”

By the end of her tirade, you would be pinned against a wall or her bed (get your head outta the gutter.) with HBC’s hands death gripping your arms to your side and her head pressed against your chest. Tears would be flowing from her eyes and the room would be deathly silent.

Just give her what she wants….all she has left of her mental wellbeing is you…

(Hello reader! I want to thank you all for reading this post and I want to thank this Anon for sending me my first request!!!! I’m really excited to write for you all and I hope y’all have a great day!)

[badsassitude]

The Boyfriend: Why Shun Needs Hugs (Deep Dive Part 1/3)

My brain does not want to shut up about the dynamics on this show, and I am ready to fight everyone talking smack about Shun.  Look, that boy needs to be hugged, not shamed, and that is a hill I am ready to die on.  

Emotions are complicated and messy. Sometimes the things we want the most are the things we are the most scared of, and sometimes we desperately struggle between wanting to connect and wanting to protect ourselves from pain and doing neither well. It’s a bit like trying to go left but also go right and just pacing back and forth and not going anywhere. What was meant initially to be a simple reflection of exploring Shun’s behavior through the lens of attachment theory took on a life of its own, and now we have parts.

So here is part one, in which we look at Shun's behaviors through the lens of anxious attachment and I draft adoption papers 24 years too late.

Shun as presented in episodes 1-6 of The Boyfriend, has anxious attachment written all over him. **I think it is MASSIVELY IMPORTANT to understand that I am not saying Shun has an anxious attachment style.** First and foremost, what we as watchers see is only a series of filmed interactions edited together. Even if we could see 24/7 unedited footage from the moment Shun stepped into the Green Room, we would still only be seeing a small part of Shun’s life, during a time where he is outside of his normal life and environment. Secondly, we can only see what is outwardly observable, so at best our perspective is based off of guesses and interpretation for which there is no way to validate, elaborate on, or clarify.

For context, in a super brief, overly simplified cliff notes version: anxious attachment is one of the insecure attachment styles included in attachment theory.  Attachment theory describes common behaviors and characteristic of 4 primary attachment styles (of which anxious attachment is an insecure attachment style).

Second note: attachment is not static, remember, emotions are complicated and people don’t fit into neat little boxes. How we attach in different relationships with different people at different points in our lives is unique to that relationship and that context. 

Now back to Shun (well, my interpretation of the Netflix reality TV edited version). Some behaviors I have seen demonstrated by Shun in the show that characterize anxious attachment include:

fear of rejection 

Frequent need for validation, reassurance, attention 

Low self-esteem 

Intense desire for intimacy and closeness, but afraid of abandonment- contributing to the push/pull of clingy to pushing away

Difficulty trusting others 

Jealousy 

For children who grow up feeling as if their needs are not met, with inconsistencies in caregiver responses and an environment that feels unpredictable and perhaps unsafe - they have a higher risk of developing an insecure attachment style (such as anxious attachment) because they did not experience secure attachment bonds. 

Think about what Shun has shared of his story:  Shun never knew his parents. Most likely they abandoned him, and he doesn’t know why. He grew up in a children’s home/orphanage. He was raised by caregivers who took care of him because it was their job. It is reasonable to infer that there was likely turnover in staff at an unknown frequency, and there was likely inconsistency in how staff treated him. It is possible that other children came and went, possibly were adopted. There was nothing stable or secure in that environment, and the even the most loving of caregivers weren’t family and could leave at any time. 

Additionally, he made two comments that set my trauma spidey-senses tingling. Per the Netflix translation, Shun said “Even there… I went through a lot.” Quickly followed by, “And… well, after a lot happened, I ended up coming to Tokyo on my own.” He then added that since coming to Tokyo he has been free, which was said with a little smile and a nod that pierced me to my core. The way he presented while telling his story, so matter of fact with a level of detachment, is very consistent with how I have experienced many trauma survivors telling their stories. 

Now add to all that what he has shared about his past relationships - primarily that he had experiences with “player types” that were clearly painful enough that seeing whatever pictures he saw on Dai’s phone triggered him to the point of tears. He described one relationship as horrible, he “couldn’t get out of it.”  

When you think about what that man has been through, is it that strange that while he may desperately long for love and intimacy, that he’s also terrified of being vulnerable in the way you have to be to get it? 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

[svartalfhild]

Omg 7 pls

7. visiting them at their place of work

Not sure what qualifies as "place of work" that's different from their normal meeting places, since they're both Mourn Watchers and Veilguardians, but I shall do my best to keep to the spirit of workplace.

The eluvians were just so damn useful. Rook and her friends could be in different parts of Thedas in a matter of hours or even minutes, and that made the task before them far easier than it otherwise would be. It also meant home wasn't far for any members of the team.

Today's featured convenience, however, was that Rook was able to bring Lucanis' fresh cooking to the Grand Necropolis. Emmrich had gone there early in the morning to address some trouble with a spirit he was evidently well acquainted with, and she thought she'd bring him some lunch. Maybe there was something she could help with, too. Or maybe she was just nervous about leaving him alone outside the Lighthouse for too long after overhearing Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain's plans to torture and experiment on him. Sure Manfred was with him, but as much as she loved Manfred and believed in him, she didn't think he'd be a match for anyone that might come for Emmrich.

So here she was, stepping through the mirror to the Grand Necropolis with a basket in hand, hoping to find him busy at work with what had sounded like some sort of bequeathal dispute and ready for a little break. The Necropolis was home, and she was always happy to return, but it still didn't feel the same as when she'd left over a year ago. Maybe it never would. Maybe the scars that she and the place had left on each other would never fade, and she'd never be entirely welcome here again. Maybe that's why the Lighthouse felt more like home now.

Still, she knew these halls and its people, and she refused to behave like a stranger here. She walked confidently through the passageways and grand chambers, outwardly ignoring the staring and whispering of apprentices and masters alike, even as she started to wonder if perhaps her hair was mussed or her waistcoat was missing a button. Yes, in case you missed it, Ingellvar was back and she didn't have time to stop and chat about what she was doing with Professor Volkarin or to indulge impudent questions about her past. She had important business that was none of yours.

After passing a throng of gossiping apprentices just outside the library who clearly hadn't learned how easily their voices carried here yet, Rook found Emmrich nestled amidst law books and legal scrolls at a table in the reading room.

"Emmrich?" He looked up at the sound of her voice, and the expression of irritation and concentration etched into his features instantly melted away to be replaced with joy.

"Hello, dearest! What brings you to the library?"

"You," Rook answered with a bright smile. "Your business sounded tedious, so I thought you might like a bite to eat." She indicated the basket, and Emmrich's eyes shone with adoration.

"Oh, how thoughtful. Truth be told, I was beginning to feel a bit listless and irritable. An interlude for refreshment would be most welcome."

"Walk with me," Rook requested cheerfully, holding out her hand. Emmrich closed his notebook, tucked it in his coat, and took her hand as he rose from his chair.

"Manfred? Keep an eye on these documents, would you?" he called out, and Manfred appeared from behind a bookcase with an obliging hiss, hobbling over to the table. Rook gave him a loving little pat on the side of his skull, which earned her a happy hiss.

"We'll be back soon," she promised before guiding Emmrich out of the library and towards the gardens, where they could have themselves a little picnic.

"There's Ingellvar again. And Professor Volkarin is with her. Maker, are they holding hands? The nobles'll be all aflutter if they hear about this," one of the apprentices whispered as they passed.

"That minx!" another gasped.

"Shut up, Drika! You're an apprentice! It's not going to happen for you!" a third hissed.

"I think we should all shut up. She's an elf; she can probably hear us," a fourth added flatly. Smart kid. Rook didn't even deign to look their way as she and Emmrich walked by. If he had heard them, he gave no indication either.

In the gardens, they found a lovely little empty plot nestled between some bushes, affording them a little privacy, and they sat down.

"I brought cheese sandwiches that I made with the bread Lucanis baked this morning and that Ferelden cheddar Harding was recommending. You can add butter or apple jam if you'd like; I've got some of each in here. There's also some stuffed peppers Lucanis wants us to try if you're feeling adventurous. To drink, I have-" Rook paused to squint at the elaborate Antivan calligraphy on the label of the bottle she'd pulled from the basket. "Well, it's an Antivan red Lucanis said pairs well with the stuffed peppers. It's probably worth more than my life. Oh! And Taash said the bananas we got from Rivain are finally ripe, so I brought a few of them too!"

"It all sounds delightful, my dear. Most especially because I get to enjoy it with you," Emmrich responded with a fond smile. Rook blushed and busied herself with setting out the food, unsure what to say. They enjoyed their sandwiches and wine for a few minutes before Emmrich spoke again, his tone much more serious. "Rook, may I ask you a question of a personal nature?"

"Certainly."

"Does it bother you? All the gossip. About you. About what you did. About us." Oh, that was very serious and personal indeed.

"I'm...used to commentary about my origins and my...monochrome appearance. I've been strange all my life. Very few people have their facts straight on what I did during the war and why, so I pay no heed to the uninformed takes bouncing around these walls. As for us, well, I don't particularly mind. The other Watchers can say whatever they like. It won't change how I feel about you, and we're both mages, so we're not illegal in the eyes of the Chantry or anything. There's no danger in people finding out, just...a lot of people being a bit rude. They'll probably get bored with it eventually and move on." Rook felt like she was rambling as she spoke, like she'd been sitting on these thoughts for a while and they'd all come spilling out at the first chance. She hadn't realized she'd been gesturing until she finished and noticed the uneaten half of her sandwich flopping in her hand.

"I see," Emmrich said softly, his eyes filled with sympathy.

"Why do you ask?" Rook inquired with an attempt at a more casual air before taking another bite of her sandwich.

"You squeezed my hand rather tightly when we walked by those whispering apprentices," he informed her, and she blushed again, this time in embarrassment.

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's perfectly natural to care what others think and to be hurt by ill considered words, you know." Emmrich gently placed his hand over hers, and she suddenly felt very weak. "You don't have to be an unshakable rock at every moment. I worry that you will shatter if you try." The threat of tears began to subtly burn behind her eyes at this. He had seen right through her.

"I might shatter if I don't," she replied, her voice wavering ever so slightly. "I can't afford to-" No, she couldn't say that. It would make her feel too exposed. "Varric always tells me that I'll have an easier time if I don't dwell on what others think and what I could have done better." At this, the sympathy in Emmrich's expression deepened and his fingers curled around hers.

"I see. We needn't discuss it further. I didn't intend to upset you."

"It's alright." She hadn't expected him to let it go so easily, but she wasn't going to question it.

"You show so much care for others. I only wish to show you the same in return."

"I know." Emmrich lifted her hand and tenderly kissed her knuckles, making her heart flutter.

"Shall we try some of those stuffed peppers?" he suggested gently, and she nodded, quickly finishing her sandwich before picking up a pepper. It was delicious, but of course she expected nothing less from Lucanis. They were crunchy, creamy, herbal, and spicier than she was accustomed to, but she didn't hate it. Emmrich muttered "oh dear" after his first bite but happily continued eating and slowly turned a bit red. They agreed that the peppers were fantastic albeit slightly painful. The bananas luckily turned out to be helpful in their recovery.

"I'll pass our review on to the chef," Rook chuckled as she began to pack everything back in the basket.

"Please do. And thank you ever so much for this lovely little picnic. It was a wonderful diversion," Emmrich responded warmly.

"You're welcome."

"Will you permit me to do something similarly diverting for you in the future?"

"If you'd like. I'm always happy to spend time with you, Emmrich."

"I'm glad to hear it."

Only after he'd returned to the library and she was on her way back to the mirror did she realize that he'd just finessed his way into getting her to let him take care of her. Dammit.

[nerdanel01]

All Things Grow, All Things Go - Pt. II

Emmrich Volkarin/F!Rook (*Emmrich POV) 3k+ | SFW EXCERPT: Mindful of the fact that Wilfred had needed to rouse him—that Agnes herself might still be asleep—he knocked on her door, softly at first.

“Agnes?”

Emmrich waited… and waited. Listening for the rustle of bedsheets or the pad of her footsteps. When only silence greeted him, he knocked again, a bit more loudly this time. 

“Agnes, it’s Emmrich. You needn’t speak to me if you don’t want to, I understand if you are still upset. But you missed breakfast—I did not want you to go hungry. Will you please open the door?”

9:50 Dragon

Flinching at the urgent touch of someone’s hand on his shoulder, Emmrich awoke. 

He blinked blearily, taking in his surroundings—cold hearth, cold tea on the tray beside him, Wilfred’s bony hand on his shoulder—and recognized at last he had fallen asleep in his study, slumped into his armchair. Well, that certainly explained the sore ache in his back, and the awful crick in his neck. After his disastrous conversation with Agnes the night before, Emmrich had lingered in the study, hoping she might return after she had a chance to calm down and think things over. In truth he had wanted instead to chase after her, to beg her to listen to him, to try to make her understand… but he loved her, and it was all too plain he had hurt her. The kinder thing, he thought—the less selfish thing—was to give her some space. 

Emmrich sat up, stretching his arms above his head and sighing in satisfaction as something in his back popped into its proper place, realigning. Glancing up at Wilfred at last, he asked, “What is it?”

Wilfred lifted a skeletal arm to point at the water clock in the corner, the only veritable indication of time passing in the windowless Necropolis. By the water level Emmrich saw he had slept through the night; the breakfast hour was just beginning in the dining hall. 

Energized by the thought of seeing Agnes there, Emmrich stood, stretching once more for good measure. It relieved the ache in his back, but did nothing to calm the gymnastics of his stomach. How angry would she be with him, now that the night had passed? More resentful? Less? Would she spare a word for him—or even a glance? That would hurt, if she could not look at or speak to him, but it did not matter. Likely he deserved it, after how upset he had made her. At least if he could see her, though—even just catch a glimpse at her from across the room—he would be reassured: that things would turn out for the best, in time. That he had made the right choice. 

“I’d better join the other Watchers for breakfast,” Emmrich told Wilfred, combing a hand through his hair, trying to tame his bedhead back into a pleasing shape. It was unlike him to wander around so disheveled and ungroomed—unshaven, even!—but today, that could wait until after he saw Agnes. Certainly she could not think less of him after last night, and any errant whiskers on his jaw would not lower her opinion of him any farther than it had already sunk. “If Agnes comes by, will you please send her down to the dining hall?”

Wilfred made a short, baying sort of sound—more articulate than the feeble moans Alfred had been exclusively capable of producing, but still less than language—and nodded his head in acknowledgement of the request. Satisfied with Wilfred’s answer, Emmrich left the study, fighting the urge to quicken the pace of his steps the whole way to the dining hall. 

But Agnes was not there when he arrived. The hall was already nearly full, the bulk of the Mourn Watch gathered around the two twin banquet tables, chatting animatedly over their coffee and eggs. Emmrich scanned the room for Agnes’ face a second time, just to be sure he had not missed her at first glance—but she was nowhere to be seen. 

There was an open spot at the table beside Myrna; Emmrich thought it prudent not to sit there, at least not today. Instead he consigned himself to the far end of the banquet table nearest to the door, where he could easily keep an eye on the latecomers as they trickled in for breakfast. He dropped a few slices of fruit onto his plate, pear and melon, but it was mostly for show, a prop to occupy his hands and to excuse his presence in the dining hall as he waited for Agnes to arrive. Emmrich was not accustomed to being this nervous; he found the anxious clenching of his stomach had quite spoiled his appetite. 

Every time he detected any hint of movement from the entryway, he looked up from the kaleidoscopic arrangement of fruit he was pushing around on his plate—but none of the latecomers turned out to be Agnes. By the time the breakfast hour was waning and the dining hall was beginning to empty, she still was nowhere to be seen. 

That was troubling. No matter how angry with him she may have been, it wasn’t like Agnes to sleep in late, or to miss a meal. It would be best, Emmrich knew, to give her space—the whole point of this, of ending their professional partnership, had been to give her more space from him—but he could not resist the impulse to check on her, as paternal and unwelcome as it may have been. Before all the food was cleared away, Emmrich filled a cup with hot tea, put two almond croissants on a plate—Agnes’ favorite—and carried both to her room. 

Mindful of the fact that Wilfred had needed to rouse him—that Agnes herself might still be asleep—he knocked on her door, softly at first.

“Agnes?”

Emmrich waited… and waited. Listening for the rustle of bedsheets or the pad of her footsteps. When only silence greeted him, he knocked again, a bit more loudly this time. 

“Agnes, it’s Emmrich. You needn’t speak to me if you don’t want to, I understand if you are still upset. But you missed breakfast—I did not want you to go hungry. Will you please open the door?”

Was she sleeping? Or was she sulking, punishing him with her silence, her refusal to answer—just as she had pulled away from him when he had tried last night to take her hand? Again, probably deserved and Emmrich wouldn’t blame her, but her failure to answer now was putting grand, paranoid imaginings in his head, and the anxious knot in his stomach was tightening, mounting into a dull panic. 

He knocked on the door a third time, with force. “Agnes—”

But before Emmrich could finish, the door popped open, revealing darkness within. Had she kept the door unlocked while she slept…?

Then the smell hit him. Lye and lavender oil, her cleaning agents of choice. Emmrich’s dull panic rose to full alarm, his breathing quick and shallow, adrenaline stiffening the muscles in his legs. His hands shook as he summoned a mage light to illuminate the darkness within, but his heart was already pounding violently, heavy in his chest; it knew what he was about to find without needing to see it: 

The hearth, cold and empty. The sterile gleam of the floor, shining in the mage light. The bed made—sheets and blankets tucked straight and tight around the mattress—empty. 

Teacup and plate smashed against the floor before Emmrich even realized he’d dropped them, scattering shattered porcelain and pastry crumbs across the room, the splash of tea spraying the hem of his trousers and puddling across the too-clean floor. 

‘No. No, no, please, Maker, no—’

He crossed into the room, stepping directly into the tea puddle as he sped to the desk, pulling each of the knobs, peering into each of the drawers, his breath growing a little more shallow as every drawer turned up empty. His heart was sinking through him, heavier than a ship’s anchor. He raced to the wardrobe, elated at first to see that it was not wholly bereft, only for his hopes to crash all over again when he saw that it was only Agnes’ set of ceremonial Watcher robes that hung within it, none of her blouses or dresses. His heart was breaking. The nightstand beside the bed—those drawers, too, were empty. 

But the bed, he realized—to his complete and utter horror—was not empty. Not as empty as he had thought at first glance. 

His hands trembled as he picked the program off the bed, shaking so violently that when he held it, the program fluttered, as though it was billowing in a breeze. The Elixir of Love. The first opera they had seen together summers ago, when he had waltzed with Agnes after in the gardens… when he had first felt the conscious desire to kiss her, when at last his true feelings for her had become woefully and unavoidably plain to him. 

He felt lightheaded; his knees felt weak. He turned his body around and lowered himself, slowly and unsteadily, to perch on the very edge of the bed, feeling utterly wretched as he stared at the program in his hands. It was creased and wrinkled, worn and much loved, as though she had often held it, caressed it, treasured it in the years that she’d kept it. And though she had penned no note, it was clear to him the program had been set out this way for him to find, no other.  

‘She loves me!’ Nemorino had sung at last in his final aria, full of pathos as much as exultation. ‘She loves me; I know it, I know it.’ But of course, what Nemorino did not know—what was plain, at that point, for the audience to see—was that this recent turn of events had nothing to do with the sham “elixir” at all; that Adina, the woman he desired, had loved him in return all along. 

Impulsively he balled his hand into a fist, crumpling the program into a ball within it, unable to bear the sight of it. But then his eyes caught on the lazurite ring on his hand, and his guilt and his shame doubled. 

What a fool he had been! What a hopeless idiot! How long had he denied his desire, his deep longing for her, telling himself he could not possibly have her? When all along she had been at his side, waiting to be noticed. Waiting to be loved back. Myrna had been right about them, or right enough, and instead of listening to her and wondering if Myrna might have seen something between them that even Emmrich himself was blind to, he had done everything in his power to push Agnes away. 

An aim in which he had succeeded spectacularly: she was gone. 

‘So go find her!’

A fool’s hope, maybe, but the only one he had. How much time had passed? How far could she have gone? It would have taken her time, Emmrich imagined, to pack, to clean. There was no way of telling from her room how long ago she had left. Maybe, maybe…!

He leapt to his feet, shoving the fisted program into his pocket, and tore into the hallway. The study was closest; he headed there first. Opened the door with such volume and force that Wilfred startled, all his bones jostling in shock at the sudden entrance. 

“Wilfred, has Agnes come by…?”

But the thrall only shook his head; no. 

Leaving the study door ajar in his haste, Emmrich headed further down the hall to the Mourn Watch library. Trying not to think of all the terrible things he had said to Agnes yesterday. ‘Do you ever think perhaps we are too close?’ Trying not to retrace every word she had said to him in return, each of them burying more sharply and more painfully into his heart, now that he understood. 

‘You are that eager to be rid of me?’

‘What did I do wrong to deserve this?’

‘It would have been better for me to never have come here!’

He raced into the library, footsteps pounding, chest heaving, fighting for breath. There was barely anyone there at this hour of the day, but one of the ancient thralls that helped keep the shelves organized was already at work, standing high up on one of the ladders, reshelving books. 

“Gunther, have you seen Agnes?”

“Not since last week,” Gunther replied, somewhat tartly. “When you see her, do remind her that she has several volumes in her possession that are overdue for return…”

But Emmrich was already back in the hall, taking it at a flat out run, having fully abandoned any sense of decorum. Back to the dining hall; perhaps he had just missed her. Hoping beyond hope to find her there. Drowning in all the memories that were washing over him, all that had transpired between them, all that he had so woefully misunderstood. 

‘I have cherished every hour I have worked with you,’ Agnes had said, when she had presented him with the ring. With a ring. Had he really not perceived the symbolism of that gift, the circle around his finger like a lover’s endless promise? Or had he simply refused to believe it, to accept what the ring had really meant? ‘Who else in my life would I give such a gift to, if not you?’

Commander Johanna was the only one left in the dining hall, pouring herself one last cup of coffee from the carafe on the tabletop. She looked up at Emmrich as he rushed in, her features creasing into a frown. 

Breathlessly, he asked, “Have you seen Agnes?”

“Why are you asking?” No small amount of suspicion in her voice.

“She’s gone,” Emmrich answered, too panicked and heartbroken to be mortified by the way his voice cracked over the last word. 

“Gone?” Johanna pressed him, an edge to her voice. “What do you mean, ‘she’s gone’? Gone where?”

“I don’t know,” Emmrich told her, close to tears. “Her room is empty, there’s no sign of her—I have to—!”

He raced past Johanna, down the stairs at the far end of the dining hall to the kitchens as Johanna called after him:

“Oh, well done, Emmrich! I told you to let me talk to her first! What did you say to that poor woman?!”

But Emmrich was not paying attention. Nothing Johanna said to him now could wound him more deeply than he was already doing himself, bruising and bleeding himself on all the terrible things he’d said and done, all of the ways he had been completely blind. But it could not be too late. He would not give in, not yet—would not let himself think he had lost the chance to make things right. 

And yet, the kitchens—empty. The sparring room, the apothecary—both empty, Agnes nowhere to be found. 

How far could she have gotten? Where, really, could she have gone? It could only have been a few hours since she had left the Necropolis—Emmrich could not fathom, refused to believe she had already left Nevarra City. 

He had not changed his clothes nor so much as washed his face, looking (he was sure) entirely unpresentable as he dashed down the Necropolis steps and into the city streets. At this hour few businesses were open, save for the cafes, already setting out freshly baked pastry and brewing fine Antivan coffee. These, Emmrich checked first, beginning at the ones he knew to be Agnes’ favorites. But she was nowhere to be found, and none of the proprietors had seen a woman fitting her description. Where was she? Sweat trickled down his brow, made his shirt stick to his back as he raced next to the druffalo cart station on the eastern edge of the city, where passenger carts, for a small fee, would transport people north and south along the Imperial Highway.. No Agnes. Finally he headed north, to the docks; had she, perhaps, booked passage on a boat? Where would she go, out in the world, all by herself? On the way he stopped at all the horse traders, but none of them had sold a steed yet that morning, or the night before. No luck at the docks, either, though he had pushed through the crowds of people eager to book passage on the Minanter, peering into each of the faces of the people gathered there… wondering, in the depths of his self-loathing, if it were possible that Agnes hated him so deeply after all those things he had said to her, that she might glamor herself, disguise her face from him just to avoid the onerous task of having to speak to him. 

He had run circles around the city. He could not remember the last time he had run anywhere without Agnes at his side, fleeing from some mystery of the Necropolis, Agnes throwing arcane darts over her shoulder at whatever was pursuing them. His heart was pounding; he had sweat through his shirt. It was in this state—disheveled, unkempt, exhausted—that he had at last made his way to the theater district, to the opera house. 

The square outside of the theater was silent, empty, an eerie contrast to the space as he had otherwise known it: thronging with people, well fed and well dressed and well drunk, merrily proceeding through the tall arches into the lobby beyond. Now, it was sleepy, the box office not yet open for ticket sales. The loudest sound was the patter of the fountain, splashing gaily in the center of the square, sparkling in the morning sun. A flock of pigeons cooed around its base, the whole flock taking off in a panic as Emmrich trudged through their ranks, dropping at last to sit at the fountain’s edge… staring up at the opera house, its travertine facade shining blindingly white, like a holy accusation. 

Emmrich balanced his elbows on his knees, and took his head into his hands. 

He had hoped against hope he would find Agnes here, but there was no sign of her. And yet though he did not see her, he could not get the image of her out of his head: Agnes, clutching their tickets with her hands covered in little lace gloves, flashing him breathlessly delighted smiles as they queued to get into the theater. Agnes, throwing a silver coin into the very fountain on which she sat, refusing to confide in him her wish. Agnes, barefoot and uninhibited, humming in the jasmine-scented moonlight. 

…Agnes, looking up into his face under that same silver moonlight, waiting for him to kiss her. To finally see her. 

‘She loves me, she loves me! I know it, I know it…’

His body curled in on itself, as though he was protecting himself from an oncoming blow; there was a tightness in his chest that had nothing to do with the distance he’d run. The despair, the sheer weight of the mistakes he had made threatened to crush him. 

That impossible, enduring affection—the kind of love strong enough to conquer even death, the kind of love he had perhaps wanted but never truly believed he’d have himself—he had almost had it. 

Or worse, he had it exactly, and he had not merely let it slip through his fingers, he had chased it away. 

For Agnes was gone—utterly lost to him, that much was clear. She had disappeared so neatly, without a trace. Oh, Johanna would send trackers after her, bounty hunters, surely, (it would have been professional neglect not to do so—the Mourn Watch kept too many secrets that they could not risk getting loose) but Emmrich did not believe for a moment they would be successful in finding her. 

“Please,” he spoke under his breath, to no one in particular. To Andraste and the Maker, perhaps, though he had never strongly believed in either. “Please, let her be safe.” 

But no, not just safe. As the sweat cooled on his body, as the fountain sprayed at his back and his heart rate slowed and he felt himself growing uncomfortably cold, Emmrich knew it was more than that. Safety, yes, at the very least. But after all the years she had devoted herself to him—all the years he had been determined to see her affection as daughterly and nothing more—she was owed far more than just safety. 

With as much conviction and faith as he could muster, he spoke his last wish for her to the quiet morning:

“Please, let her be happy. Let her be loved.”

— This piece is Part X in a series of XI.  [ Start from beginning ] [ Read Part XI]  [ Nerdanel’s Fic Masterpost ]

[trafficblr-confessions]

I don't like skyblings too much, however that doesn't mean I don't like family headcanons/dynamics

Actually im a sucker for family dynamics, me and my sister both are, and love projecting on silly cubitos a lot (funny cause in this specific duo our genders are swapped)

So I present to you: Snowblings propaganda

Its Scar and Pearl!

First of all they kinda look alike, to the point I've mixed them up in fanart before, which sounds dumb but I'm so fr like actually its happened and I find that funny.

Second, I just love their duo on DL, I lowkey wished they became chosen soulmates, I mean theyre kinda paralels? But on opposite senses?? My sister knew the proper term for this. Like- Pearl got abandoned by her soulmate, and they parted ways completely, resenting eachother. Meanwhile, Scar got cheated on, but even after the betrayal and all that he stayed with Grian and didn't yknow take actual revenge like Pearl did constantly to Scott..

Headcanon section:

Also I love that they seem like- So I think if they were actually related possibly before the series and all, maybe got separated and their memories erased by the watchers? But still met again and took eachother as found family, not knowing the truth. Also, likewise to my online sis and I, I feel like Scar is older in actual age but when you see them interact its like Pearl is the older one.

Also!! Wolf and cat duo, I think thats silly.

And I think possibly they could've hang out more even if we dont see it on camera, trust... like sitting on powdered snow at night as they talk (its mostly Pearl rambling/venting/plotting chaos and Scar being supportive, possibly also making sure she doesn't freeze to death)

Another plus! Scar was a wizard on LL while Pearl got called the witch of DL! And both got villanised a lot on the seasons they won... and they both spent their whole seasons mostly alone, with a small team up at the end...

Pearl was all alone in DL and Scar helped her and kept her company when he could, even if she was unhinged and probably insisted he got revenge aswell. Scar was all alone for most of SL and Pearl still offered him a family in the end... she wanted one of her mounders to win... and he was the last one left, he *was* an actual mounder even if just for one episode, cause she could've helped Gem win, also her best friend (who I see as found cousins, also cause of my relationship with an online cousin), but she wanted her mounders to win, and thats what Scar was, not only that, Scar was her brother, her family.

Have you also considered that Scar, Pearl and Bdubs could make the best found sibling trio ever?

I just think they're the best ever, comfort duo fr..

(A bit Pluto Scar propaganda too, shot out to my genius lil sis for the arguments) Pluto has 5 moons, Scar killed 6 ppl in the finale, but the last one was Pearl who IS the moon. Except to Scar she's more than just another moon, Pearl, who wanted him to win, who offered him a place to belong to, a family, when he had no one, even if it was short lived, Pearl who understood his loneliness, a past winner who very well understood what its like to be the villain of the server, his best friend, his ally, his family.. and the last person he saw before that so called victory.

Plus! Funny quote between my sister and I that sounds pretty DL Snowblings coded:

- "wishing for the best for you and worst for them /j" (sister/scar) - "you see? this is what siblings are for! we pray on other people's downfall… but for good reasons.." (me/pearl)

Thats all tumblr, thank you ^^

.

[marsmarbles]

TeeHee have a DamselDuo one shot I wrote. They make me ill. Yay!! (1129 words)

Scott woke up in a cold sweat. His limbs ached, like he had been sleeping there for years instead of just a few minutes. As he surveyed himself for damage, memories came flooding back to him.

Burning hot lava. He had fallen in, been consumed by it while on his nether trip. He can still feel the fire licking his cheeks, encasing his face. Surveying his arms, he could still see burn scars that weren’t going away soon. They would stay to remind him of what he’s done, who he’s just killed.

Who he’s killed. Instead of his arms, his vision focuses on the chains trailing down his left arm. It fazes through the wall, because it’s not actually physical, just an illusion. Scott can see the vague color change from bright green to more of a lime, and he knows what color it will eventually become when it reaches his wrist.

You died. A voice whispers in his ear. Do you know what you did, Star?

“I’m pretty fucking aware, thanks.” He tries not to let the panic seep into his voice, but fails miserably. He can’t deal with the speakers right now, he has to check that he’s ok. Scott jumps out of bed, tripping his way out of the door of his cottage as he runs desperately to follow the chain. It turns from green to lime to a sickly yellow, confirming his worst fears. But really, they were confirmed the second he woke up.

He realizes halfway to his destination that he doesn’t have any of his items. His things were turned to ash in the lava, all of his iron armor and quartz lost to the fire. He ignores this best he can, trying not to think about the hours of work he wouldn’t get back.

Instead he runs faster, his footfalls echoing across the valley. Scott can feel tears prick at the corners of his eyes, whether from the stress or the wind whipping at his eyes, he isn’t sure. The other house comes into view, half built with three walls and several support beams. The chain shrinks as he gets closer, revealing the almost sunflower yellow. 

He rips open the door, looking around the house. Joel is in the middle of the floor, curled up with his head between his knees. “Joel, Joel, I’m so sorry! I-I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to, and-“

“Get out.”

“What?” 

Joel lifted his head from its perch. Scott realized his normally perfect hair was tangled everywhere, the green streak having changed to yellow. His eyes were a similar color, as were the chains around his wrists. He looked horrible, to put it lightly, as it was obvious he had shed at least a few tears. “You promised that you would keep me safe. You lied to me. Get out, Scott, before I go hunt down Pearl.”

“Joel, I-“

“Do you not have fucking ears? I said, ‘get out!’”

Scott flinched away, but refused to leave that easily. When Joel saw his stubborn expression, he just shuffled away and put his head down again. Scott looked around the half finished house, trying to find something, anything, he could use to apologize. He didn’t think he could stand for Joel to be mad at him, not like this.

Scott made his way around the house, doing his best to avoid the sullen figure on the floor. He opened the chests quietly, finding building supplies, stray snacks, and… a hairbrush. He smiled softly and picked it up, heading over to Joel and sitting behind him. 

Scott remembered the first time he had done this. It was their second day in these stupid games. He had discovered that, one, he was chained to Joel (obviously a cruel trick from the Watchers) and two, his hair was very long. Scott had experience with long hair, but Joel didn’t, and it showed. He had laughed and taken one of his ribbons, doing his best to take the leaves and sticks out of his hair before he braided it to match his. That was the first time he had seen Joel genuinely smile at him.

Now he took his hair again in his hands, humming as he brushed it out. Joel let him, keeping his head down. Slowly, he untangled the knots. It was hard work, considering how messy it was, but he finished soon enough. Softly putting the brush down, he split the mass into three strands and started braiding them together. Joel had lifted his head up at that point, not quite a pleased expression on his face, but it was close enough for Scott.

When he had finished, he used a stray ribbon he had (yellow, how ironic) to tie the end so it would stay. Scott silently slid around so he was facing Joel’s face now, and clasped his hands.

“I know there’s no real way I can apologize for what I’ve done, but I truly am sorry. I will do my best to be more careful. I-I woke up, and I was so afraid I had lost you, and-“ He took a shaky breath. “I am so, so sorry. I understand if you can’t forgive me. I’ll leave no-“ Scott stood to walk towards the door, but a hand caught his wrist and pulled him back down.

“I,” Joel took a breath. “I can forgive you. It’s fine, it would happen one day, we knew it was coming.” Joel offered him a toothy grin. “I still hate you though.”

Scott let out a wet laugh. “I love you too, Joel.” He dragged him into a hug, placing his face into his shoulder. “I love you too.”

The repetition meant something, something deeper that neither of them wanted to admit. When Scott pulled away, he offered a smile before he stood. “I’ll go tell Lizzie and Pearl what happened. I’ll be over tonight though.”

When he was less than fifteen feet from the house, an annoying voice spoke in his ear once again. 

Ooohhh, someone has a crush.

“I have standards. I don’t just fall for every guy I meet, you know.”

I don’t know, that seemed to be the case with Jimmy and Martyn and-

“Stop right there! Nope, nope, I will not have the gods metaling in my romantic life. That is something I would like to have control over, thank you very much.”

All in due time, Star.

The Speaker snickered as it flew away. Scott scoffed and kept walking, towards the house that Lizzie and Pearl inhabited. So what if he liked Joel a little more than normal? It wasn’t like anything would happen about it.

Still, as he walked, he couldn’t keep his mind off of how much yellow surprisingly fit Joel.

sorry it’s so long but I love them. Maybe expect more fanfic coming soon of Scar and Sausage???

-🌻

I’m…….im fucking speechless…..THIS IS SO GOOOODDDD RAMXKVKDKCMVMDMCN!!!!! Have you really read through my whole page???? Cuz all of this is too accurate.

Also also also!!!! HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS GONNA HAVE THE SPEAKERS CALL SCOTT STAR!!!!!???!?!!?!! while I was reading I was “WHOT!!! THEY’RE SPYING ON ME THEY’RE SPYING ON ME!!!

You also captured the Speakers’s personality perfectly!!!

The whole time I was reading I was both smiling uncontrollably and on the verge of tears thank you so much!!! I’m so excited to read more(if you make more that is no pressure)!!!!

[silverofthunder]

☆ watcher in the night ☆

Papa Emeritus IV x GN Reader

summary: You nodded slowly, trying to get all of this – the whole moment – to fully sink in while you studied the painted face of the man. His expression was soft, in a way, and he seemed curious, though you could also sense the danger underneath all of that.

content: 2.6k words, mystery (kind of), drama, fantasy, some feelings i guess, i don't even know, SFW (i think?)

!! mentions of blood and killing !!

So, I have no idea where this came from. I just started to write and it kind of escalated. This is different from what I've used to write but oh my, how fun writing this was! Let me know what you think. 😊

The cemetery wasn’t far from your home and one evening you decided on a whim to go there late at night. You took your bag and slipped a pen and a small notebook into it with a smile on your face – you never knew when the inspiration might strike so you had to be prepared. You zipped up your hoodie and grabbed the keys from the small dresser and checked that your phone was in your pocket before leaving your apartment.

It wasn’t that dark outside due to summer and the air felt more chilly than you thought but you didn’t bother to turn back to get a coat. You didn’t plan on staying at the cemetery for long, after all. There wasn’t much people on the move – you saw only a few teenagers hanging out nearby the cemetery as you finally reached the main gate.

You opened the gate, the creaking sound echoing in the quiet of the night. Your eyes took in the surroundings as fast as they could and as you walked along the main path, you started to feel a bit nervous and wonder if this had been a really bad idea. You remembered how it usually didn’t end up well when people visited cemeteries at night in the movies.

With a shake of your head you tried to get rid off those horrible images – it was silly to even think that something could happen. Or technically it wasn’t but you didn’t want to think the worst. Instead you focused on tombstones, their outlines and followed the path until you came to the spot where you could see one of the oldest graves, the big stone on top of a small mound.

You decided to head there and turned right, stepping on to the grass and following a line between two rows of tombstones. Then you took a turn to the left and passed a large tree, almost tripping to one of its roots that was sticking out from the ground. You hissed a curse as you regained your balance, breathed slowly in and out before continuing walking. As you finally reached the grave, you lowered your bag onto the ground and placed your hands on the stone.

It was cold and there was some kind of pattern on top of it as you run your fingers along the surface. Whoever was buried there must have been well-known and notable person.

A sudden rustle made you jump and you turned around, your heart picking up pace in your chest. You couldn’t see anyone and soon there was a sound of flapping and croak, so you suspected it to be some bird flying away. Sighing you returned to your bag and sat down on the grass, leaning your back against the tombstone. You searched for the notebook and pen and took your phone out of your pocket, putting the flashlight on and setting the phone leaning against the tombstone. Then you let your mind wander for a while.

The quietness was a bit unsettling and the chilliness was slowly getting into you, making you regret not getting that coat before coming here. You did your best to focus on the surroundings, the scent of summer night and let your hand guide the words out of your mind, ink them onto the page of notebook.

It wasn’t a story, just some random thoughts about creatures of the night. The one’s who lived in the shadows, had sharp fangs and carried a mysterious aura around them. You weren’t sure if you actually believed the existence of those creatures but it was certainly intriguing thought. A small smile made its way on to your lips as you wrote more words down.

Soon something flew past you fast and you shrieked, dropping your pen and notebook to the ground. Your head turned fast from side to side as you tried to see what it had been. As you couldn’t see anything this time either, you shook your head and picked the pen and notebook up, mumbling some calming mantra to yourself.

You opened the notebook and saw the inkline speading from one word all the way down to the bottom of the page. It called you to doodle something onto it before you turned the next, plank page and continued writing. You could feel your heart beating just a bit faster than it normally would – you couldn’t help it, the sudden noices in the quiet had gotten you nervous and you were kind of waiting for something to happen again.

When the chilliness was getting so uncomfortable, fingers feeling stiff from holding the pen, you decided it was time to leave. You put the notebook and pen into the bag, took your phone, slipping it into your pocket and hoisted yourself up, smoothing out your hoodie and jeans. And just as you were ready to leave, your eyes landed on some figure standing beside the tree on the right. You blinked, hoping it was just your mind playing tricks on you, but the figure was still there.

Your heart missed a beat and you swallowed, staring at the figure. Then it moved closer to you and you could see it was a man.

”Isn’t it a bit late to be out here?” he spoke with a soft, deep voice, taking slow steps towards you. His features came more clear – his other eye was white, face covered with some kind of paint. He was wearing ripped jeans and a shirt that looked like something that was worn centuries ago. You took a step back as he got closer, eyeing to the side and considering just running away.

He stopped moving, eyes scanning you and you just stood there, nervousness stinging within you.

”Who are you?” the words slipped out before you even realized you had opened your mouth.

The man’s lips curved into a smile, flashing something white and sharp, and now you really were sure your mind was just messing with you. You blinked and pinched your arm but the man was still there, and so was the smile on his lips, too. Nothing sharp visible this time, though, and you sighed, but it didn’t really settle your racing heart.

”Just having my night walk,” the man said and you raised your brow.

”On a walk at the cemetery?” you stated and the man chuckled.

”Sí,” he said in another language – Italian maybe? – and took a step closer to you. ”Seems like you were having your own moment here, too.”

You eyed him suspiciously, watching his movements like a hawk. He didn’t look threatening but you still couldn’t be sure… And just like he was reading your thoughts, he raised his hands up a little as if to show he didn’t have any indication of hurting you. Still, it didn’t ease your suspicions much but some part of your mind held a thought that he would have probably hurt you already if he wanted to do that.

”I was just leaving…” you said quietly, trying to keep your voice steady. The man didn’t move or say anything so you just turned and started to walk away. You had to take a look at where the man was left standing after a moment and couldn’t see him anymore. Just as you were about to sigh from relief, you turned your gaze back to forward and stumbled back as the man was now right in front of you.

He grabbed a hold of your arm.

”Careful,” he spoke as you stared at him with wide eyes. His white eye glowed in the dark, the other seeming to slowly change color if you saw correctly. It was dark after all, so you couldn’t fully trust your vision. He seemed to breath slowly in through his nose while a small smirk made its way onto his lips. For a moment his fingers tightened around your arm, you could feel his nails digging into your flesh and it felt way too sharp to be normal. Your heart was beating in your chest rapidly and you pulled your hand away from the man’s hold.

The man shook his head a bit after the contact was lost and let out a small laugh and now you could see the white, sharp fangs clearly. You swallowed, thoughts starting to race in your head.

”What are you?”

It was barely a whisper but you knew the man had heard it. He stepped closer and you were sure now it was time to flee and you tried to take a step back but something stopped you. There was a slight swish of wind and for a moment your felt a bit dizzy and then you felt the man’s hand under your chin as he leaned closer.

You couldn’t be sure if your heart had missed two beats instead of just one but now you were completely frozen. You could move your legs so you probably could leave but for some reason you didn’t… want to.

”I’m sure you already have the answer in your mind,” the man answered finally, voice smooth like a velvet. It seemed to resonate everywhere, making you feel so… strange. It was really hard to describe – it felt like it reached somewhere deep within you and calmed you down somehow.

”The creatures like that don’t exist,” you said.

”That’s what your mind is trying to tell you,” the man said, moving his hand slightly and starting to trace along your cheek with his sharp fingernail, strangely gentle. ”Hate to disappoint but the creatures you’re thinking about are real and I’m one of them.”

He showed his fangs and his non-white eye changed to glow red. It certainly looked real, felt real but also a bit of dream-like. Like two worlds mixing, the lines of reality and fantasy blurred.

”You’ve surely used some… unholy mojo on me,” you stated and the man chuckled.

”Only a little,” he admitted, gently tapping your lips with his finger. ”To make you feel more calm. If you want to go, you can, I’m not stopping you.”

Blinking, you considered what to do. As time passed and you didn’t move, a pleased smile rose to the man’s lips and his finger traveled down to your neck.

”You’re not… going to hurt me?” you asked, hesitant. You had to.

”I could… if I wanted and you could not do anything,” he said straightforwardly. ”But no, I’m not going to hurt you. So don’t worry, you’re not gonna be my meal – unless you want to.”

You nodded slowly, trying to get all of this – the whole moment – to fully sink in while you studied the painted face of the man. His expression was soft, in a way, and he seemed curious, though you could also sense the danger underneath all of that. It was easy to imagine how the predator in him could just take and destroy you, drain the life out of you. But at the same time tthere was this temptation – how it would feel like if the fangs pierced your skin and the blood would rush out of you, feeding him.

You snapped out of your thoughts, noticing the man’s face now being much closer to you.

”Sorry,” he said then, pulling a bit back and you felt some strange energy around you. ”It seems that you are too acceptive of ’my unholy mojo’. And your scent…”

The man didn’t finish his sentence and he really didn’t have to as your thoughts could fill in the rest. You were more surprised by the fact that you seemed to do something to him, too, even though it felt like you weren’t doing anything.

”The thought is intriguing, isn’t it?” the man then asked, flashing his fangs again, and you understood what he meant. You knew you could just lie but you also were pretty sure that the man would know if you were lying so you had no choice but to speak the truth.

”Yeah, it is.”

With his finger the man traced some pattern on your neck, making you shiver. You knew he could feel your pulse while you could hear your heartbeat ringing in your ears. The air around you changed, the dizziness reaching you and causing you to sway a little and soon you felt hands on your sides, steadying you. You blinked rapidly, trying to keep your eyes focused but the intensity of the strange feeling only grew and your eyes fell closed, your hands grabbing the man’s arms.

”Damn,” you heard the man speaking. ”You’re not making this easy. I swear I’m not using my powers that much.”

He sounded surprised and his hold on your sides tightened. You drew in a deep breath before opening your eyes and you were hit by the blurry red-white glow of the man’s eyes. The darkness seemed only to highlight it and your slightly hazy mind thought it looked kind of beautiful.

”Oh shit,” you breathed out in awe.

”It’s so addicting,” the man said. ”Easy to get lost in it and lose your self control.”

His words aroused your curiosity.

”Have you ever lost control?”

The man’s expression changed and he lowered his gaze, his hands leaving your sides and causing the spell to break. You blinked, feeling more grounded again.

”Sí, many times,” he answered quietly and your mind instantly filled with images of faceless people lying dead on the ground, their bodies smeared with blood.

”Are you… afraid that you will lose it again?”

You weren’t sure where the questions came from but the whole situation seemed already so weird you doubted it couldn’t get any more weird.

”Not really. I learned my lesson a long time ago.”

The man’s gaze found yours again and you could only nod as you really had no idea what to say to that. For a moment you considered to reach out to touch him but then decided not to. It seemed that the closer you were, the more it affected to the both of you. The man was right, the feeling was addicting – weird, too, but definitely something you wanted to feel again and again.

And it was like the man had read your mind, his hand reached for yours and as soon as your fingers entwined, you felt the wave of warmth coursing through you. The dizziness hit afterwards but only lasted for a short moment. You had never in your life tried any drugs but you guessed that being under their influence would feel close to this.

”This feels so strong,” the man said, turning your joined hands. ”Reminds me of the time when…” he trailed off, shaking his head. ”It’s not important now.”

You were a bit of disappointed that he didn’t tell more but maybe it was a story for another time. If there woud be another time.

”I should probably leave…” you said and the man gave a you small nod. You really didn’t want to leave but it was night and you needed some sleep. The man squeezed your hand before letting go, the warmth slowly leaving you and the chilliness of the night biting into you.

You stuffed your hands into the pockets of your hoodie and slowly turned to leave. Every step that you took away from the man felt heavy and eventually you stopped, turning back to him.

”Will I see you again?”

”Maybe,” the man answered and even though you could only see the silhouette of him, somehow you knew he was smiling.

”What’s your name?”

”You can call me Copia.”

Copia.

You rolled the name in your mind for a moment and with a smile on your lips, you turned to head home. And as soon as you got home, you changed your pajamas on and went to bed, welcoming the much needed sleep.

The rest of that night your dreams were occupied by a pair of red-white eyes, fangs and painted face.

[azure-firecracker]

The X-Files Season 2 Review (First-Time Watcher)

We made it! I feel like I spent forever watching this season. First my dad was hogging the tv and then I went away to summer camp, but I got there eventually (and what an ending to get to! but that’s for the individual episode reviews).

And wow. For as much as I enjoyed Season 1, I LOVED season 2. I feel like the show took everything I loved about Season 1 and turned it up to 100.

I said somewhere in my Season 1 Review that this show is at its best when it makes darker episodes, and this season certainly realized that because I feel like it was a real tone shift from season 1. The atmosphere felt less campy, much more grim, a lot gloomier. Worse things began to happen, to Scully and Mulder but also to the bystanders, and the stakes felt much higher.

Having watched this season, I’m going to amend that statement and say that this show is at its best when it makes intense episodes rather than dark ones (with the exception of one specific episode. Y’all probably know what it is). For the most part, this season towed that line between intense and dark well, but there were a few times where I thought it was unnecessary gruesome. We’ll get into that in the individual reviews.

The best part of Season 1 was undoubtedly Mulder and Scully dynamic, and oh did this season capitalize on that! Their relationship this season, from the beginning but especially after Scully’s abduction, felt so much more centralized in the story. Entire episodes focused on their bond, how important they are in each other’s lives, and the lengths they would go to for one another. This season was packed with amazing, emotional, often trope-y moments, and kind of read like a high-quality sci-fi soap opera! I was 100% here for it.

This season also had several episodes that I considered phenomenal and very few that I took issue with. The like:dislike ratio for me was definitely much higher than in Season 1. Of course it wasn’t perfect, but I don’t think any television season this long can be perfect, certainly not with the time and budget they were working with.

I only have one big problem with this season. If you’ve been around on my blog, you probably already know what it is. I want to make an entire post dedicated to this so I won’t go too in-depth here, but I was frustrated by the saving-each-other ratio between Mulder and Scully this season, not necessarily because of pure numbers, but because of the way it was done. I’ll make a longer post on this topic in the next couple of days, so if you want to debate me about this, I will politely ask you to wait until I flesh out my thoughts further.

With all that said, let’s get into the individual episode reviews! Some episodes deal with some pretty intense themes, so if you’re not familiar, proceed with caution, or if you have a specific trigger you want me to warn you about, shoot me an ask or a DM.

Little Green Men: A very strong start! The end of Season 1 left me wondering how they were going to stay together, and of course the answer is that they’re going to ignore all the rules and do it anyway. This episode had Scully breaking SO MANY RULES. Character development! And so much MSR. The first time I watched this, I was shocked by how much closer they seemed. Like, what happened in that between-seasons gap? It was also an excellent hook with its alien lore. 9/10

The Host: A decent enough monster of the week, a couple of cute MSR moments. It’s harder for me to get invested when Mulder and Scully aren’t together. Their banter often makes the show for me. I’ll give this a 6.5/10

Blood: I could not take this one seriously. Time has not helped it. The score was SUPER dramatic in this episode, but the threat was…grainy words on a computer screen. Also very little MSR. 3/10

Sleepless: Very solid! Interesting idea with the soldiers not being able to sleep and being killed through their nightmares and guilt. Negative points for lack of MSR and also because I think the Vietnam War elements could have been done better. Still a 7/10.

Duane Barry: And this is where the season took a turn and never went back. I always love the human villains the best. Hostage situations are a great way to build tension and this one was flawlessly executed. I loved how we, the audience, knew Duane was a risk but didn’t know if he was right about aliens or just a liar. And of course, the ending cliffhanger had me screaming. 10/10

Ascension: This was so tense. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. The stakes have never felt higher. Mulder has never been this unhinged and it’s incredible. I wanted to strangle Krycek through the television. I will say the mountain is very obviously NOT Virginia and it’s hilarious, but still my heart was pounding and then breaking along with Mulder the whole time. 10/10

3: All right, so the incomparable @actual-changeling encouraged me to view this episode solely through a character-focused lens. And I tried to, I really did. And I could see the point it was trying to make about Mulder’s self destructive behavior and how lost he gets when Scully isn’t there. But also…Scully wasn’t there and I missed her! And the plot did make no sense. It was hard for me to enjoy this even though I tried to. I’ll give it a 5/10 objectively for the character work but subjectively I was at more of a 2/10.

One Breath: Remember when I said this felt like a soap opera? This is what I meant, but in the best way. Like Ascension, the tension here was top-notch. I can’t imagine watching this live and not knowing if Scully was going to be okay. When Mulder started crying, I was crying too. Plus the moment when he visits Cancer Man (is that what we call him?) points his gun at him, and his voice breaks as he asks why her? Perfection. Cinema. 10/10

Firewalker: This was jarring for me as a West Wing fan, to say the least. That aside, I thought this was pretty solid. All of the MSR moments were great (I might have liked a little more follow-up to the abduction arc, but that’s what fanfic is for!) and the volcanic spores were a decent enough threat. It did feel a little bit like Ice 2.0. Not as good, though. 8/10

Red Museum: I think this episode needed to be two parts. There was SO much going on, from the kids going missing and the vegetarian cult (whom I was rooting for the whole time! Animal rights!), the Purity Control and the guy who killed Deep Throat coming back. The pacing was just so rushed, and the climax lasted for like, 2 seconds. All of the ideas were pretty good though, and we did have the barbecue sauce rib date, so I’ll give it a 7.25/10

Excelsis Dei: What the fuck was this? 1/10

Aubrey: A VERY solid episode. It’s not stellar but it also has no flaws that I can find, you know? An interesting monster of the week, some excellent agent-ing from both Mulder and Scully, and a very nice, tense climax (with an excellent score!) Also my mom’s nickname is BJ so that was hilarious. 9/10

Irresistible: I already wrote a whole post on how much I adored this episode. You can read it here. I was also immediately inspired to write a post-episode fic. You can read it here on Ao3. 10/10

Die Hand Die Verletzt: Remember when I talked about intense versus dark? This is what I meant. This episode felt like it was throwing on horrifying detail after horrifying detail without a purpose. Like, we already had the satanic cult. We did not need the teenage girl talking about CSA and then getting murdered. And it wasn’t even clear how real that was, so why even bother? This was also another episode that should have been two parts. 6.5/10

Fresh Bones: I’ll admit this one had a hard time keeping my attention, but I think I was just sleepy when I watched it. Any episode that tries to get political is always a bit dicey for me (not on principle, I just think txf in particular isn’t the best at it), but this one managed to be decent enough. Overall a perfectly fine episode. 7/10

Colony/End Game: SO MUCH PLOT! But it was two parts so it worked! We got so much alien lore and it actually kind of made sense! The Bounty Hunter was an excellent villain, too, and our agents really felt out of their depth. The dread was real! But none of that is even the point because the entire Samantha clone plot line was totally heartbreaking. I had a feeling it wasn’t really her, but my heart broke right along with Mulder, especially when he was apologizing to his father and he started crying. UGH. And it totally makes sense that being so distraught would prompt him to make some incredibly rash decisions, but luckily he has the actual best partner on the planet. Scully saving Mulder at this point in the season was super refreshing, and the ending scenes in the hospital completely melted my heart. 10/10

Fearful Symmetry: Like Season 1’s Roland, I couldn’t get through this. I’m a vegan and a softie, and seeing animals suffer is always rough for me (rougher than humans for some reason). It felt like maybe they were trying to make a point about animal abuse but it didn’t go far enough. It was weird and not at all enjoyable for me. Objective 2ish/10, subjective 0/10.

Død Kalm: My friend the amazing @theswisscheeserag (check out her Ao3! She’s a great writer) phrased it best. She said “I felt the episode was too ridiculous in execution for an attempt at being so serious.” Right on the money. It’s still Mulder and Scully though so 6-6.5/10

Humbug: The one exception to the “intense episodes are best” rule! Who knew this show could be so funny? They should do this more often! I laughed so much. “We’re exhuming your…potato!” I DIED. I also liked Scully getting to be like “Yeah it’s this insane thing because xyz it’s obvious” and Mulder being like “Girl idk what you’re talking about but you’re a doctor so okay.” A nice role reversal for them! Anyway 10/10

The Calusari: Example number 2 of “this didn’t need to be so dark.” The family curse was plenty! We did not need the dead toddler! Not quite enough humor in this one, which makes sense given the subject matter, but I feel like this whole episode was just unnecessarily cruel. I watched this directly after Humbug and got whiplash. I’ll give it a 6/10

F. Emasculata: Super solid standalone episode! I liked the parallel looming threats of the plague in the prison and the escaped convict potentially spreading it. I especially liked the moral dilemma of what to reveal to the public, and how Mulder and Scully fell on opposite sides of the issue. I like when a show presents me with a moral quandary I can’t answer! 8/10

Soft Light: Despite the pretty dark vibes of this episode, I was kind of zoned out for most of it. Maybe it was because the villain wasn’t malicious, but I don’t know, the threat never felt imminent. It didn’t hook me at all, but then the ending came out of nowhere and it was HORRIBLE. Too horrible! I didn’t need that! I don’t care if it’s supposed to add to X’s moral ambiguity. I don’t need to see that. 3/10

Our Town: This one is tricky. I have many thoughts on it. I’ll try to be somewhat concise.

First of all, I really enjoyed @mulders-too-large-shirt’s review of this episode. We had a lot of the same grievances. You can read her review here (and she also liveblogs every episode! It’s awesome! Check it out!)

So in isolation this is probably a 9/10. Genuinely horrifying villains, some good MSR moments, a SUPER tense climax. All good things! But in the light of the whole season this irked me, because this was the fourth time Scully got kidnapped and also the least necessary to the plot. You could have flipped Mulder and Scully’s roles and it really wouldn’t have changed anything. (In fact, I did! Read the fanfic here).

With that aside, this episode feels like it has a lot of wasted potential. The cannibal cult using people’s bodies for their own ends is another clear parallel to Scully’s abduction, and the show just…didn’t do anything with that. And we know they can do great things with these parallels because Irresistible exists! It just bugs me because the material was RIGHT THERE and there was SO MUCH they could have done with it but THEY DIDN’T.

TLDR: Objective 9/10, subjective 7.5-8/10

Anasazi: This was so hyped up to me that I was worried it would be a letdown but IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT! Oh my God. Zero flaws. I always say txf reads like a fanfic, but THIS EPISODE READS LIKE A FANFIC Y’ALL. Like I’m sorry, but Scully taking care of Mulder while he’s in shock and delirious with fever melted me. His puppy energy was at 1000000000% this episode and it was amazing. And I was SO worried when he started acting weird because I didn’t know what was wrong with him! But of course Scully figured it out (like I said, best partner on the planet). She absolutely carried this episode and I was very grateful for it. I think she’s right that Mulder would have died if he’d been arrested for murder. Good thing she knew what to do! She’s actually perfect y’all.

We also got so much new information! Like what a lore dump! And WHAT A CLIFFHANGER HOLY SHIT! Like, imagine waiting a whole year for that to get resolved. Just wow🤩🤩

Obvious 10/10, I don’t go higher on principle but like, I would.

Anyway that’s all for this season! I’ll be back with lots of fic and reactions and analysis but I love meeting y’all! This is such a friendly fandom:) Always feel free to come by and say hi, ask me stuff or give me writing prompts! Let me know if you’d like more analyses or anything different posting-wise when it comes to Season 3.

[murmuringbug]

Ahh, my favorite pastime. Analyzing characters and figuring out how people work.

(Obligatory this is all characters, I just didn't wanna put a q in front of all the names :3)

I really do try to see everyone's side, and I do not think anyone here is necessarily in the wrong.  Nothing is black and white of course, but I wanted to specifically focus on bads pov here. I think alot of people kinda forget all the lore leading up to this point. Especially anyone who wasn't here.

Bad is a very tragic character and his lore has kinda been put on hold since everything that has happened.

But if we are to assume we are picking up about where we last left off, bad doesn't remember lullah. (In fact he doesn't really remember anyone on the island). Only the interactions hes had with them after he got back. He found out that hes a special person in lullah's life a little bit after he got back but he cant reciprocate those feelings. He just doesn't know her. But all the while He is being forced into this position where lullah needs old bad but old bad literally physicaly died.

Heres this guy who just woke up from being dead stressed and alone. Finding out hes trapped on an island and missing his best friend. Being thrusted into the roll of tio. He said to foolish that he doesn't think he could be a parent and that being a tio was stressful enough so its not like this is an easy roll for him to fit into.

So he has this expectation that he is being held too which is pretty unrealistic. Let alone that fact that he simply now doesn't know how to deal with children, it's not a skill he has anymore.

Then, with pomme and dapper being gone the only egg he has even gotten close to after he died is richas. Then combine that with his very clingy personality. No wonder he plays favorites.

Not to mention alot of his issues with communication and such are very autistic/adhd coded. I feel like so many people aren't really agnologing that. <_<

But now from lullah and richas's perspective it's also awful.

They are still  literal children who has gone through so much.

Im not a philza watcher so I dont know lullah alot but we can kinda tell Lullah has issues with abandonment, and she has already lost bad once before. She wants the tio bad back she knew the one who she has spent so much time with and has known her whole eggie life. But he isn't going to be back anytime soon. She probably wants some sort of consistency. Let alone the fact emotions are a difficult thing to begin with.

its a difficult situation for everyone involved. And its understandable to feel upset because that's what stories do! A good story should make you feel emotions but if you are angry, or sad at the actual people you need to take a step back for your own well being. <3

[turniparts]

So... Life series winners as Omori characters anyone? Individual ref sheets and more info under the cut :D

Okay SO, for starters I will just say that I am biased towards Scott Smajor and that is why I made him the main character. However, I do believe that in the end he does kind of make the most sense for Sunny considering that everyone else fits better as the other characters imo. Also I used tints of blue instead of black and white bc drawing Scott in black and white just simply feels incorrect.

Anyway, Scar and Pearl are just 100% Hero and Aubrey respectively. A lot of Hero's character revolves around his charming personality, which he uses in headspace to get people to do him favors. I feel like this matches up with Scar's "too charismatic for his own good" schtick that usually happens in the life series.

Aubrey reacts to a negative experience where she was abandoned by IMMEDIATELY lashing out at everyone and becoming a social outcast, hanging out with delinquents. I don't think it's rocket science to see that Pearl, who reacted to negative experiences where she was abandoned by going crazy and lashing out at everyone, matches her character really well.

Going from there, Scott as Sunny makes sense because of his abandonment of Pearl in double life mirroring Sunny's retreat from Aubrey and his friends in how the latter reacted.

Then Grian as Mari because 1) Desert Duo(not necessarily romantic, just in how they are inextricably linked), and 2) He was the first winner and with Watcher stuff I feel like his character is best suited to Mari's role in headspace.

That left Cleo and Martyn as Kel and Basil. These two were the ones I debated the longest, because I feel like they both suit both roles. I went with Cleo as Kel because she's the one who stuck with Scott throughout every life series, like how Kel never gave up on knocking on Sunny's door.

Martyn and Scott were of course the mean gills, and Martyn won through attacking Scott despite all they'd been through together. Basil experienced the trauma with Sunny but still ended up attacking him in his fear. Plus with listener lore I feel like Martyn being the only other person to know the truth makes sense.

Also, whether you look at it in the celestial bodies interpretation(Grian Sun, Scott Stars, Pearl Moon, Martyn Mars, Scar Earth, Cleo Pluto) or tarot cards interpretation(Grian Sun, Scott Stars, Pearl Moon, Martyn Tower, Scar World, Cleo Fool), the omori characters also match up to those.

Sorry that was a lot of explanation for why I linked the specific characters I did. Onto the flowers! Scott as a poppy actually makes a lot of sense even w/out flower husbands, as it's a flower that symbolizes sleep, due to its use in sleeping gas, as well as death, which both match up with how Sunny acted in game.

Pearl is a Datura becuase of its ties to the moon(Moonflowers) as well as its other name(Devil's Trumpet) referencing her Double life character. It is also a very spiritual flower for many cultures, which ties into Aubrey and how she attends church.

Cleo being a succulent feels self explanatory, much like Kel's cactus in game they are easy to take care of and grow under many conditions.

Scar is lavender because of its associations with calming and devotion. Hero acts as the group's peace-keeper, and Scar with this role would do the same. It also has some medicinal properties like soothing headaches and having anti-inflammatory effects, which I feel fits well.

Martyn is a water lily because the season he won was the mean gills season, which I wanted to tie in. Their meaning being rebirth(which also matches the poppy) fits the way that Sunny can only face the truth after Basil nearly kills him. They also symbolize enlightenment, which again aligns with how Basil/Martyn is the only character to know the truth other than Sunny himself.

Grian is the red zinnia because firstly, I wanted him to have a red flower, and secondly its symbolism matches pretty well. Familial love, of course, represents how Mari(Grian in this case) was not only Sunny's big sister, but also acted as a sisterly figure to the other kids. While they are tough flowers, they also symbolize remembrance, pointing towards the death of Mari/Grian. I probably could've kept everyone except Scott and Martyn's flowers the same, but I actually had a lot of fun looking into flower meanings and stuff(sorry if it's not al 100% accurate).

I was honestly surprised with how many parallels I was actually able to find here. This really started as a silly thing I played with in my head because I enjoy both of these medias, but the more I thought about it, the more I went "huh, that actually does make sense", so now here we are.

@easily-distracted-by-fandom , I hope you enjoy the ramble. I also hope that I find more people who know what the heck I'm talking about lmao

Edited in an attempt to make this easier to read instead of big blocks of text lmao

[artemfluid]

Okay soo...minecraft persona! I don't have like, a proper drawing of them- just a colored concept but it's literally just their design. I'm too lazy to make an actual drawing rn :p Fanart very much welcome btw!!

Rambling about them under cut

So here's my minecraft persona, Artem.fluid (literally just my normal handle) genderfluid aroace, they/them.

They're a shapeshifter, but this is their preferred form. The purple sorta swirly thing on the left side of their body is excess magic from a past event related to the watchers.

They're extremely playful, creative, and very self depreciating!

As for hermitsona things, I made a relationship chart for all the hermits + life series members that weren't included. Will go more in detail about some relationships below!

Starting with hermitcraft: Wels, Xisuma, Etho, Impulse, Skizz, and Tango all have a back and forth family-like relationship!

Wels, Tango & Xisuma is a father-child relationship

Impulse & Skizz are like uncles to Artem!

Etho is like a big brother.

An honorable mention for the family-like relationships is Hypno! Hypno wants to care and protect Artem like his own child, but Artem just sees him as a good friend.

All other relationships I feel are important to talk about: Beef, Cleo & Gem!

Artem sees Beef as a friend, not a best friend though. Beef is in a weird Grey area where Artem is fine to open up to him, but doesn't feel like they're best friends. Beef however, feels like they're best friends.

Cleo is slowly growing on Artem and Artem is slowly growing on Cleo. Its not a surprise if Cleo turns out like an aunt to Artem.

Gem & Etho in my headcannons are adopted siblings, so by extention this sort of makes Gem one of Artem's siblings because they see Etho like a big brother. They both agreed that they're just best friends.

Onto the 5 life series members that were left out!

Jimmy is the only one Artem has a family like relationship with. They're like siblings in a way, but it's unclear who acts like the older sibling- it always changes.

Martyn & Artem have a strange relationship. Artem sees Martyn as a friend, but doesn't know much about him besides how he had done in the past life series. Martyn however, wants to mentor Artem like a parent. Both have had encounters with watchers and listeners, and he wants to help them with it.

Scott and Artem are the gay best friend duo that you can't stop. End of story.

Artem met Lizzie through Joel, and they both think eachother are chill.

Artem has only had super brief interactions with BigB, and is somehow super intimidated by him.

----------

That's about it for them, idk what else I would write but feel free to ask questions about them or to them! I love making little ask series :)

Tagging @insoucianceart cuz I remember you saying something about being interested in my oc(s) :3

[im-out-of-it]

part two of season two, episode four discussion post continued “day of wrath”

40. Magnus killing it in the fashion department in this episode

41. I like when they would put Magnus in more colorful attire. the black clothing is nice but Magnus is very versatile and can literally pull off anything. that’s why I think season one Magnus is super iconic because there isn’t a hairstyle or clothing that he wore that he didn’t look fantastic in. I just wish in the last two seasons, they would’ve spiced up his wardrobe and gave him different hairstyles. I like the spiked look but what about the pink hair, the different hairstyles?????

42. IM SORRY BUT SEASON ONE MAGS IS SO UNDERRATED SO CAN WE PLEASE APPRECIATE HIM??????

43. shit where was I???? oh that’s right, Simon is trying to open Camille’s little snake trapping protection box thing

44. Simon: ribs sound appetizing but not for me

45. also this is from last episode and Magnus’s facial expressions are always ON POINT

46. well good old hodge is the cell next to Jace. always fun when the person who cuts off your hand is now next to you in prison

47. ew hodge just told jace he’s the best. ADVIL PLEASE

48. I actually don’t mind the whole demons taking over shadowhunters bodies but I don’t like certain ones being blamed for the actions demons did (cough cough trying to make Alec feel guilty in a way clary)

49. Luke and Jocelyn have zero chemistry. I said what I said. I’m glad they got rid of her and put with Luke with someone else (don’t want to ruin anything for first time watchers)

50. also forgot to post this as well:

51. I love how everyone waits to be let in to Magnus’s loft and Alec just walks in as he owns the place lmao (I’m not sure if the bottom left is Alec just coming in but I wouldn’t be surprised.) Alec + Magnus’s loft = a package deal

52. to be fair, alec comes with the apartment (a little jest for season three) I just love how comfortable Alec is that he can just come in but technically, he’s been doing that before they got together. you can’t say no to Alec it’s impossible

53. BUT RAPHAEL CAN WE CRY FOR HIM YET

54. Simon is coming at the worst possible time

55. and before we get to Simon and Raphael fighting and causing Magnus a migraine, can we talk about the beautiful friendship Raphael has with Magnus? I didn’t like their friendship in the books. it was a very sarcastic but almost we aren’t that great of friends style in the books. I didn’t like it. I like how Raphael can come to Magnus in the show and not be embarrassed. I think they’re a lot closer in the show. I absolutely adore that some of the downworlders are Magnus’s children because he can’t have any children (biologically)

56. Magnus: revenge at its finest

57. and it’s so sweet to see Magnus catering to Raphael’s wounds. show Magnus will always have my heart. he’s constantly helping others even when his world is burning. literally has been through so much with Alec already and he’s been helping Alec out, Simon, and Raphael. there are no limits to Magnus and his kindness.

(helped clary try to get her memories, helped wake Jocelyn up, helped get book of the white and endured seeing Camille and magicking up a draft that sets Camille free, helps Simon face his fears, helps Raphael with his wounds, tracks Camille down knowing how difficult it’ll be, helps Alec with coming out and making sure he is comfortable, helps Luke with his wounds and this is just within 17 episodes) I’m just saying- there’s so much content they could’ve used with Magnus

58. Lydia’s back and not in the mood for raj

59. Magnus ended ya Raj so I would tread carefully lmao

60. asking Magnus to deliver Camille is a big ask because of their history. he definitely has a big choice although difficult one to make 😭 Camille hurt Magnus gravely but she also saved his life in a lot of ways. it’s not like “oh she’s my insane ex that I can’t wait to rid of” but at a time, they did have something beautiful. but when it comes to saving the downworlders vs Camille’s happiness, it sort of helps determine which choice is the best

61. Simon: how the fuck are you everywhere

62. ah just two sons of Magnus fighting

63. Magnus: children enough! if you’re going to fight, I’m going to need a drink 🍸 and we might as well make it a double

64. Raphael: this motherfucker has had Camille’s grave dirt all this time and I just find out?????? I WAS TORTURED FOR THIS? also to be fair, it’s not as though Simon went through vampire academy training 😭

65. see ya soon Camille

Simon: I portaled to freaking india and faced a cobra!!!!!! yeah Raphael, cut Simon some slack. he had to learn how to encanto while Magnus was shopping through his belongings lmao

stopping at 66 because I should remember that and will continue part three later

[duckwnoeyes]

Sasha Archivist au

Tossing my hat into the ring to answer 'What would have happened if Sasha had been made archivist instead of Jon'.

Personally, I believe that Sasha as head archivist would not start the apocalypse, but everything would still be sad and terrible. Let me explain:

First and foremost: addressing Sasha James' character. Since she died in season one (crying), we actually have fairly little to go off of. In that one season, we can only say a few things about Sasha. BUT mag 161 then goes ahead and turns everything we know about her on its head. She tells Tim that there's really no such thing as a real you, and we get the sense that maybe we didn't really know Sasha at all.

So, what does this tell us about Sasha as an archivist?

I think the most important piece of information regarding Sasha James, as a character, is her connection to Gertrude Robinson in Mag 161 and 162, and I believe it tells us all we need to know about an archivist Sasha.

Significantly, Gertrude named Sasha as her successor. This little piece of info drives me up the wall bc why did Gertrude choose Sasha??? Gertrude purposefully left the archives a mess so I doubt it was because she thought Sasha was the best academic.

Gertrude dedicated her entire life to preventing the apocalypse, sacrificing literally everything to save the world. Gertrude Robinson, needed to select the right successor, someone who would carry on her work. And Gertrude Robinson, who was an avatar of the watcher, of knowledge, must have had a good reason to choose her successor.

Because it is so important that Gertrude's tape in mag 161 is intended for Sasha. Gertrude tells her that she is entering "A place that will often demand a high price from you. Pay it without hesitation, because one way or another, the world is now on your shoulders." Gertrude has seemingly handpicked someone who knows exactly what it means when she tells them "Do what you have to do."

Because whilst we, the audience, don't know a whole lot about Sasha, Gertrude did. And what I think Gertrude Knew, is that Sasha would be able to do the same thing as her. Gertrude Knew that Sasha James would be just as ruthless and pragmatic in dealing with the apocalypse. That Sasha would make any and all necessary sacrifices.

Sasha immediately saw through Gertrude's mask of being a frail old woman. Who knew that Gertrude purposefully left the archives a state, wouldn't do what Jon did and try to reorganise them. Sasha having experienced artifact storage, would wait and trust in Gertrude's system.

Sasha, who invaded her co-workers' privacy by hacking into their computers, would have little problem joining up with the eye. Gertrude Robinson who again, knows an awful lot, put a lot of trust in the hope that Sasha would be just as cutthroat as her.

Archivist Sasha would still be a tragedy, and would still mirror Jon's descent into monster hood, but it would be a different kind. It would be Sasha's descent into ruthlessness, her making the kind of choices that Gertrude made, the kind that would have the story end with just as many dead archival assistants as in canon. But, no Armageddon. Because if you thought Gertrude feeding Michael Shelley to the distortion was bad, imagine Sasha leading Tim with a detonator to the Circus of the Other.

TLDR: Gertrude choosing Sasha is incredibly significant and implies that Sasha actually was or could have been just as ruthless as Gertrude as head archivist and thus would have prevented the apocalypse by sacrificing all of her assistants.

[huskynotwolf]

Stuck (not really,) — Martyn and Grian

From my fanfic Watchers and Hunters on Quotev

Martyn growled and looked at the wall again. He could hear all sorts of noises, especially the talking of Watcher guards. Grian was next to him, clutching his head like he was having the worst headache in his life. His parrot wings have resumed to a striking rainbow, no longer dull, but his emotions screamed for help. 

Grian could feel his sanity chipping away slowly the longer he stayed here. He had gotten Martyn to tell Pearl about what’s happening, and he had told him that she’s coming. Then, using extra energy, he’d told Martyn the direction to get here for Scar, Ren and Scott. Two different patrols, trying to save them, but still the little Watcher shivered. 

Martyn hooked his claws into the chipped walls of the cell and tugged. He managed to yank a tiny chunk of rock out, but it took him almost a full day. He couldn’t keep going even if his instincts told him to. Grunting in defeat, he went over the the door and threw the tough rock at the hinges. The rock split in two and clattered to the floor. 

Grian mumbled, mentally exhausted. He couldn’t find any escape routes, but he could only see Martyn, the one man who’d kept him alive for their time here, banging a chunk of rock he’d ripped out of the wall. “Martyn, stop. You’re just gonna exhaust yourself more.” He prompted. The golden-winged boy stopped for a moment, then sighed and walked over to him, sitting down in the hard floor. “Scar or Pearl, who do you think is coming first?” Martyn asked. Earlier the man had explained every Hunter, or hermit, he calls it, to me do I could know a tad bit more. “…Pearl has a Wolf, Scar has the teleportation guy. I have no idea.” I stretched out my senses, then recoiled as Martyn yanked me back. “Pearl. She’s closer to us. I have hope, Grian. Even if your kind didn’t, I have. You’re officially my best friend. Aside Ren, of course.” He gripped my shoulders. 

Martyn thought of Ren when he mentioned it. The man-Wolf he liked… they’d led a siege together a long time ago, he’d saved Ren once. And now Ren was repaying the favour by saving him. He sighed, hopeless, but walked around the cell. As he neared the corner, his talons suddenly made a hollow clink sound. “Grian,” he whispered, tapping that certain spot of the floor. The kid wadded towards him, and hearing the sound, immediately lit up. “Tunnel!” He squealed, knocking at the floor to see where the lid ends. 

“Just big enough,” Grian smiled. He frantically scraped at the sides with his claws and Martyn began doing the same. It wasn’t long before they dug up the whole lid. “Come on! What’re you waiting for?” It was as if his stamina and light was relit at the sight of the tunnel. Grain jumped in first, and his friend followed afterwards. 

Martyn and Grian began making their way out of the base of the Watchers, completely forgetting to close the lid.

Watchers PoV

“Hole. They went through the hole. I though it was sealed, Karrie.” *Anadil growled. Karrie hissed. “I would never know.” She resorted, turning to Ember. “Guard the other end.” The Watcher nodded and ran off. Then she turned back to Anadil and Dandelion. “I have sleep gas. Does that work?” Karrie studied its pin.

“It would work.” Dandelion muttered, ripping the pin off and tossing it into the cell. It clattered for a second and hissed, releasing the gas. Anadil slammed the door shut. “I don’t understand those stupid Hunters. They take our territory then say we took their’s, they stole from us, they say we killed them when they killed more of us, most that never returned…” The eagle-winged Watcher sighed. “And now our exiled parrot Watcher and the clueless Listener is under their influence.” Anadil slowly stalked away. Karrie understood why her friend was so down; they had killed off most of his family members, the only ones left were her and her younger sister, who died in her own hands. In revenge she’d attacked on of the Hunters and gave him a massive scar. She’d got scars as well from that encounter, but her loss was the most grief the Hunters have caused.

We’ll talk sense into Grian. He’s just angry we’ve exiled him. And the Listener.

***

Basically, if you’ve noticed, all of the perspectives were from Life Series winners: Grian, Scott, Pearl, Martyn and Scar. It would stay that way until the end of the book. Also, keep in mind that I’ve used multiple ships (Flower husbands, Scarian, Renchantyn and the Last Life Scott and Pearl.) Also, the book was based on Martyn’s Eyes and Ears au, so I’m just reusing it on this at this point.

*The name Anadil was from The School of Good and Evil. I just liked it so much I used it for our little sad Watcher.

—— that cat on the moon

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