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florestalio · 2 months ago

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INSATIABLE NEEDS — p.sh

you had always found your best friend attractive, who wouldn't? but perhaps, him being so close to you when you were ovulating... wasn't the best idea. after all, a harmless crush can lead to being dangerously close to toeing the line of friendship.

GENRE— porn with little plot, friends to ???

WARNINGS— unprotected sex (don't!), reader is extremely horny, reader is so down bad for sunghoon it's almost embarrassing, reader isn't as subtle as she thinks, sunghoon is a cocky little shit, fingering, mirror sex (?), pussy slapping, cum eating, missionary, bondage, let me know if i missed any!

WORDCOUNT— 3.6k

NOTE— this is a REVAMP of this bnd fic. since i'm on hiatus, and probs won't be able to publish anything else for two months...

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

a soft groan fell from sunghoon’s lips, as you continued to read your book, despite him being literally two feet away from you — that too on the same bed. what could that stupid book possibly contain, that you were completely ignoring his presence?

he groaned again. “can you please put that damn book aside and pay attention to me instead? we were supposed to hang out, not be busy reading stupid books–”

you rolled your eyes. “we weren’t ‘supposed’ to do anything. you came to my apartment of your own accord, went straight to my bedroom, and plopped down on my bed, expecting me to entertain you — it’s not my fault that you can’t find the entertainment you wanted from me.”

yes, maybe you were being a little harsh. but then again, he deserved it. you were ovulating — really bad at that — and were peacefully watching certain… videos on twitter, when he suddenly rang the bell to your apartment. of course you were gonna be mad at him. guaranteed, he had no idea. but that can’t stop you from being petty, can it? not to mention that the book you were reading was one of the best smut books ever, so you had at least had something to distract yourself from the current dilemma with — but he was hellbent on trying to get you to ditch that as well, just to make you pay attention to him.

distract yourself from what, exactly? why, it’s your best friend, of course.

you had always found him attractive, who wouldn’t? but now that you were ovulating… the images in your head starring him were… unholy in the least.

you needed the distraction. everyone knows that a girl ovulating, while being in the presence of a guy who she is even slightly attracted to, can be very, very dangerous. especially if said guy is a good friend. toeing the line of friendship is never a good idea, especially with sunghoon. you weren't willing to lose him forever, just to satisfy your temporary needs… even if he was making it really difficult for you to not pounce on him.

you never thought a band aid on someone's cheek could be that attractive, combined with his all black outfit and the lollipop in his mouth. the way he kept swirling his tongue over the candy? god, you were definitely going to hell from the thoughts you were having about him.

a scoff from your best friend snapped you out of your daydreams. “okay, maybe i came uninvited. but isn't it common courtesy for you to not blatantly ignore someone right in front of you? or is that book of yours so engaging that you forgot basic etiquettes?”

oh, how you wished to yell at him and say that yes, the book really was that engaging. how you wished to recreate the absolutely mouth-watering smut scenes in the book with him–

okay, you really needed to get a grip over yourself.

you cleared your throat. “fine, i'll keep the book down, but i don't know how to entertain you.” true to your word, you kept the book down, the uncomfortable heat that had been long since pooling into your lower stomach, not fading in the slightest. in fact, the more you looked at him, the more the heat intensified.

he rolled his eyes, speaking in an irritated voice. “it’s not like you aren't enjoying yourself right now, is it?”

you couldn't understand if it was because you were ovulating, or if he was doing it purposely — but something about the tone of his voice was so fucking hot — you could feel even more heat starting to pool into your lower stomach, your panties sticking to your folds uncomfortably. you spoke in a slightly shaky voice. “w-what is that supposed to mean?–”

sunghoon took the lollipop out of his mouth with a loud ‘pop’, before speaking with an accusatory tone. “don’t play dumb with me. you know exactly what i’m talking about.”

…there was absolutely no way you were growing wetter at his tone. since when did he sound so… hot while accusing you? and why were you enjoying it?

you didn’t even know what he was accusing you of. all you could concentrate on was his slight smirk and the cocky gleam in his eye. you couldn’t tell why he was looking at you the way he was, but you knew he was up to no good.

but even when you predicted that, his next few words still managed to make your blood run cold. “stop pretending like i can't see you rubbing your cute thighs together. i'm not blind, you know.”

your jaw dropped, staring at him with eyes that were wide open in horror. he noticed?! god, so now he thinks you're a pervert — which, given your behavior, wouldn't be wrong — but still–

you didn't know how you still had the audacity to play dumb, but you did. “i-i don't know what you're talking about–”

you were cut off with a loud scoff from him. he gave you an incredulous look, speaking in a condescending tone, paired with sheer disbelief, letting you know that he didn't buy your bullshit. “you don't know what i'm talking about?”

you gulped, your thighs unintentionally pressing together even harder to prevent a fresh wave of slick from trickling down your hole. “n-no?–”

he let out a disappointed sigh, which seemed to be more of a mocking gesture than a genuine reaction of disappointment. “so you aren't going to admit it on your own. that's okay, i can always make you admit it.”

without a warning, he wrapped a hand around your ankle, yanking you towards him. you screamed out loud from utter shock. before you could say anything, he pulled you up, wrapping a hand around your waist so that you were pressed flush to his chest. he spread his legs, settling you in between them, before turning you, pressing your back to his chest. sunghoon grabbed your chin, pulling it up, so that your eyes stared right into your own in the mirror on the far end of your room.

your eyes trailed to his own in the mirror, shocked to see his expression. his eyes had darkened, slightly hooded eyes staring straight into your soul. you had never seen your best friend like that, but today… safe to say your thighs clenched again, your panties surely drenched by now.

you gulped, noticing a slight smirk on his face. he brought his lips closer to your ear, whispering softly. “tell me princess, are you still not going to admit it?”

his tone sent chills down your spine. you wanted to admit it so badly, wanted to let him know exactly how you needed him to rail you within an inch of your life — but then again, you wanted to find out what he would do if you didn’t give into his demands. what you guys were doing had already crossed all lines of friendship, it didn’t matter now if you guys went all the way anyways.

so you proceeded to lie. again. “i- i seriously don’t know what you’re talking a-about–”

he let out a disappointed sigh, — which sounded really condescending instead — before speaking again. “so you really have no idea, hm? you’re telling me you aren’t wet right now? hm?”

your breath hitched. fuck, this was really happening. “i- i’m not–”

you were cut off with a loud gasp, when he suddenly pressed two fingers right over your clothed cunt, the nearly drenched fabric soaking up more of your wetness. you couldn’t help yourself, letting out a choked moan, when he pressed them in even harder, effectively pushing the fabric deeper inside your puffy lips, even more slick dripping down out of you.

your best friend — could you even call him that anymore? — bit down on the lobe of your ear, before speaking again. “nasty little slut, aren’t you? soaking up your panties right in front of me, and yet you have the gall to lie to my face? acting all innocent too… was this what you actually wanted? for me to force an answer out of you? fuck, look at the way you’re clenching around my fingers, and they aren’t even inside you yet — we’re gonna have so much fun together princess…”

his last few words turned you on even more, — if that was even possible — falling out of his lips like a dark promise, a promise that he intended to keep. you still needed to answer him, so you did — only this time, all hesitation, all the ‘acting dumb’ was gone, replaced by pure, unadulterated, lust. “i’m s-sorry please — please, fuck me hoon–”

you couldn’t even complete your sentence, before he pulled his hand off your pants, opting to push the waistband of your shorts down instead. you didn’t even realize that you were lifting up your hips for him to shove them down your legs, your underwear following suit — only, instead of throwing it far away randomly in the room, he brought them to his nose, screwing his eyes shut and taking a deep inhale.

his action caused your jaw to hang open in pure shock, eyes as wide as saucers — you were so unbelievably horny, all you wanted was to push him down to lie down on your bed, and ride him till the two of you were spent beyond salvation — but you knew he wouldn’t let you do that. he always liked to be assertive, which you were fine with — although right now you were growing impatient. you needed him, did he not understand that? you needed him so fucking bad, you would let him take you raw, breed the fuck out of you, fuck a baby into you–

at this point you didn’t even know if these were your own thoughts, or your ovulation fucking with your head. either way, you were filled with the thought of him, your mind chanting ‘sunghoon, sunghoon, sunghoon’ like a mantra, imprinting his name into the walls of your brain — which was funny, because he hadn’t even done anything to you yet — properly, that is.

speaking of, you just noticed him stuffing your soaked panties into his pocket, his hand coming to grip your chin again. he raised it to make you look into the mirror. you made eye contact with him in it, gulping at the look in his eyes. it was purely predatory, lust swimming in his irises like an insatiable hunger.

if you had any doubts about him not wanting you as much as you wanted him, your doubts were certainly all cleared now.

his hand left your chin, coming down to your impossibly wet cunt instead. he slid a finger over your slit, rubbing it up and down, collecting your abundant amount of slick on it. he watched in the mirror, completely fucking mesmerized by the sight of your pretty little pussy fluttering around his finger. he decided to use another finger, using both of his digits to part your folds, watching even more slick dripping out of your needy cunt. it was truly a sight, causing his bulge to strain against your back, a loud moan escaping you at the feeling. your head fell back on his shoulder, your eyes screwed shut from the feeling of him playing with you so lewdly — it was like a scene straight out of your dirtiest fantasies, one that you never imagined would actually happen in reality — but fuck, you were definitely not complaining.

you suddenly gasped out loud, your head jerking up, staring directly into his eyes in the mirror. your eyes were wide open in shock, from the impact of his slap on your impossibly wet pussy. your breathing had fastened, staring at him in pure shock. he scoffed at your expression, glaring at you through the mirror. “what? surprised? if you want me to continue, you better not remove your gaze — you’re going to watch as i make you fall apart on my fingers. if you avoid eye contact even once, i’m going to edge you the entire day — yes, the entire day. i’m not kidding in the slightest, princess, so you better keep those pretty eyes of yours peeled open if you want to cum at all.”

you swallowed thickly. this, this was what you needed. he was what you needed, he was all you needed. his tone, his words, everything was so fucking hot — you craved everything he could offer, and more.

but, in order to get a little bit of literally anything he had to offer, you needed to obey him. so you decided to comply, not removing your gaze even once from the mirror.

he plunged his fingers inside you without a warning, fucking them into you at a rough pace, drawing out loud squelching noises from your pussy. you let out the loudest moans and whimpers known to mankind at his rough pace, whining slightly, clenching and unclenching around his fingers. you arched your back to the best of your ability, letting out a loud whimper, when the calloused pads of his fingers rubbed oh-so-deliciously against your walls. your breath hitched as he rubbed that spot on your walls, his other hand holding you down tightly to stop you from squirming. he had noticed immediately, making sure to hit that same spot over and over again, using his thumb to rub on your clit simultaneously. you let out a choked gasp, the band in your stomach tightening at alarming rate; a telltale sign of you being brought to your fastest — almost embarrassingly fast — orgasm yet.

sunghoon watched your expressions with his lip pulled between his teeth, his eyes hooded, as you fell apart on his fingers. the little shudders and loud whines were music to his ears.

god, you knew exactly how to drive him crazy.

he kept on thrusting his fingers shallowly, until you were squirming from the overstimulation. he then withdrew his fingers from your soaking cunt, giving your clit a last pinch, eliciting a whimper from you. he brought his fingers to his mouth, maintaining eye contact with you in the mirror, as he licked them clean, a soft groan leaving him as your taste hit him.

he licked off every last drop from his fingers, before harshly grabbing your chin. he turned your face halfway towards him, smashing his lips on yours, for the very first time — which was a little funny to think about, given that he had already made you cum on his fingers; that too at such an embarrassingly fast pace.

the kiss was sloppy and messy, spit mixing and dribbling down your chins, tongues clashing with each other. but neither of you seemed to care, too engrossed in trying to memorize the feel of each other's mouth.

he gripped your waist without breaking the kiss, pulling you backwards, before shoving you down on the bed. you fell on your back with a light ‘oof–’, your head hitting the pillow. you barely had any time to gather yourself, before sunghoon was crashing his lips into yours again.

he kissed you at a feverish pace, one that you could barely keep up with. his hands roamed about your body frantically, desperately trying to memorize every inch of you. he started to fiddle with your clothes, trying to take them off you, almost tearing them off in the process.

you barely processed it when your shirt went flying in some corner of the room, your bra following suit. your nipples harden almost instantly as they come in contact with the cold air, causing him to immediately pinch them, drawing out a loud whine from you. he sucked on one of them harshly, using his hand to pinch and twirl the other nipple. he alternated between both, biting and sucking on the skin around your nipples too, until your entire chest was covered in red hickeys and bite marks.

you were starting to find it a little unfair because of how you were the only one unclothed between the two of you, causing you to take the matter into your own hands. you tugged at his shirt impatiently, causing him to give in and take it off. he tried to immediately kiss you again, but your hands that were tugging at his pants stopped him. he stared at you with a slightly impatient glare, before taking his belt out of the loop.

instead of taking his pants off like you hoped he would, he grabbed both of your hands, before tying them with the belt, attaching them to the headboard. you gasped loudly, trying to free your hands, in vain. he laughed at your state. “patience is key, darling. didn't you know that?”

he pressed another harsh kiss to your lips, swallowing your whines, as he slowly grinded on you. you could feel the outline of his rock hard dick through his boxers, pressing insistently against your clit. you let out sharp gasps and moans at the sensation, but it was quickly ripped away from you.

you were positively drooling when he shoved his boxers down, his cock standing proud and tall. it slapped against his stomach, leaving a trail of precum on it. he grabbed your thighs, shoving them apart, before aligning himself with your eagerly awaiting cunt.

he rubbed his angry red and leaking tip on your clit, before gliding it up and down your slit, collecting your wetness. you arched your back, your eyes rolling into your head, a loud moan practically ripping out of your lips. you looked up at him with teary eyes, silently begging him to hurry up.

he smirked down at you, leaning down to nip at your bottom lip, before finally pushing himself inside. you let out an even louder moan, feeling his bulbous tip stretch you out, before he thrust himself fully inside — earning a choked gasp from you. he groaned, barely giving you time to adjust, before pulling himself almost completely out, leaving only the tip in, before thrusting back in.

he set a brutally fast pace, the continuous ‘fap-fap-fap’ sounds ringing loudly in your ears. the squelching sounds from your pussy were almost equally as loud, as more and more of your wetness trickled down his length. your bottom lip was pulled in between your teeth, eyes screwed shut. you subtly bucked your hips up, trying to match his pace.

he noticed it quickly enough, grabbing your hips to still you, before stopping as well. he gave you a stern look, before changing his pace. instead of the brutally fast pace he had set earlier, he switched to a slower pace, focusing on hitting every single spot perfectly.

you clenched around him tightly, a breathy moan of his name leaving your lips. his pace stuttered, before he grabbed both of your legs, folding them to your chest. the new position helped him pound into you even deeper, reaching places you never could on your own. his mushroom tip collided with your cervix every time, making you see stars.

he was deep, so so deep. he felt so fucking good, like you were in cloud nine. by the looks of it, he thought the same.

he let out a deep groan, breathy whispers leaving his lips. “p-pussy feels s-so — fuck — s’fucking good — fits like a glove–” he cut himself off with a moan, feeling you clench around him harder. “keep s-squeezing me like that i'll cum.”

you could barely hear him, your brain completely fogged up. you could barely formulate a single coherent thought, the completely unadulterated pleasure leaving you dizzy. you let out a soft gasp as you felt him sucking on your neck, just above your jugular. it felt good, too good.

you could feel the band in your stomach start to tighten, signalling your impending climax. he could tell it was close too, by the change of pitch in your moans. he focused on hitting your g-spot with every thrust, bringing his hand down to rub circles around your clit, coaxing your orgasm out of you.

the added stimulation was all it took for the band in your stomach to finally snap, your cunt clenching impossibly tight around him.your eyes rolled back, mouth open in a silent scream. your orgasm washed over you, coating his dick in a layer of white.

your orgasm triggered his own, causing his hips to stutter. he tried to pull out, but your pussy was clenching so tightly around him, he simply couldn't. he grabbed your hips, pushing himself even deeper. his eyes rolled back, a groan escaping him, as he came in you.

spurts of cum erupted from him, shooting deep inside, your pretty cunt clenching around him even harder, milking him for all he was worth. he came and came, till he physically couldn't anymore. he pulled his softening length out of your spent hole.

your ruined pussy clenched around nothing, globs of cum dripping down your thighs. sunghoon scooped them up with his fingers, pushing them right back into your sensitive folds. he pressed a kiss to your forehead, pushing your hair out of your face. “you're still with me?”

you nodded tiredly, too spent to speak. you were still in disbelief of the entire situation, but it was as real as real could get. you felt him untie your hands, before scooping you up in his arms, carrying you bridal style, carrying you to what you could only hope was the bathroom — before you passed out in his arms.

#park sunghoon smut #sunghoon smut #enhypen smut #enha smut

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lycandrophile · 6 months ago

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i clicked on the original tweet just to see if anyone else felt as weird about it as i did because at this point i’m just tired of seeing people going on and on about trans men dating cishet men who try to convince them not to transition as if it’s a funny joke about a trans man doing something silly and not a manipulative and generally very unhealthy relationship dynamic that can hurt the trans man involved really deeply (as forcing someone back into the closet tends to do.)

did i find anyone else feeling that way? no. there were a few people pointing out that it was weird in general, and plenty saying it’s a weird thing to say about a cis woman, but nothing expressing any sort of concern about the tired stereotype it’s perpetuating.

but you know what i did find? replies like the one in the second screenshot, using the tweet as their chance to tell the world how much they hate trans men and how repulsive they find the idea of ever being compared to us. and replies like the third one, shaming trans men in relationships like that as if the fact that they’ve found themselves in an unhealthy relationship makes them deserving of public shaming, as if their relationship is hurting anyone other than them.

stereotypes like this just feel like yet another way of indirectly calling us stupid little girls who don’t know what’s good for us, and the fact that a picture of a woman is being used (even jokingly!) as an example of what trans men “like that” look like should make the implications of rhetoric like this all the more obvious.

it’s relationships like these that keep us miserable in the closet for so long and drive up our sexual assault rates even more. they’re not funny and if anyone is going to be making jokes about them, it certainly shouldn’t be people who have never been in that situation. if you actually cared about us you’d be looking for ways to support the trans men you know who are in relationships like that instead of hopping on twitter to joke about how stupid they must be.

i don’t care if it’s a joke. if it victim blames trans men for the transphobia we face in our personal relationships, adds to the common idea that we can’t be trusted to make decisions about our own lives, and invites even more blatant transphobia against us by people who unabashedly admit they see all trans men as “disgusting and phony”, it’s not fucking funny.

(i also want to note that the people making these jokes never like to mention that this also happens to trans men in relationships with queer women. they also hate those trans men, of course, and are happy to express that when they get into fights about trans men who date lesbians, but they’ll never talk about it in the context of this particular stereotype. it’s always a man being manipulative in a relationship and pressuring trans men to not transition, as if a woman would never be capable of such a thing.

they also like to conveniently ignore the existence of older trans men who transitioned after already being in a committed relationship with a cishet man and were able to make that relationship work despite their transition, because acknowledging that would require recognizing that trans men can be in seemingly contradictory relationships and genuinely be happy with their partner. who needs nuance when you can simply choose to judge all trans men for our relationships regardless of what they’re actually like?)

do you think they also would call me “a trans man being purposefully misgendered” with this kind of vitriol because i’m still living with parents who don’t recognize my gender instead of moving out before i’m ready to be financially independent? at this point, i’m starting to feel like they might, with the way every decision a trans man ever makes is the subject of a public debate and people have decided that trans men are secretly using being misgendered as a weapon to somehow hurt other trans people.

as a general rule, i’d say the only people who should be making “X looks like a trans man” jokes about literally anyone/anything are trans men, and posts like this show exactly why those jokes being made by anyone else (even by other trans people) just isn’t a good idea.

#just got home from work and cannot be bothered to proofread all of this well so. enjoy my Raw Thoughts #cue someone saying ‘it’s not that deep’ as if i didn’t just spend many paragraphs explain why it bothers me so much #examples of transandrophobia #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia

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kianamaiart · 1 month ago

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tattoo tour!

got some asks about my own tattoos! i've talked about em on my other blog but not here i think

opihi shell

this was my first tattoo! when i was little, my grandma would call me her "little opihi" because i'd stick by her side all the time and i thought it'd be an appropriate and meaningful tattoo to get.

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team rocket rose

another tattoo i designed along with @/loinktattoos on insta. dedicated to my love for jessie, james and meowth. it's a rose with a blast off star and a "TR" in the leaf~

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tsuta mon

my japanese side of the family's crest! my brother, mom and i all have it~

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lignum vitae flower

a tattoo of jamaica's national flower to celebrate my jamaican heritage. tattooed by @/loinktattoos and designed by @/sablingart on twitter

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doughnut

it's the doughnut from the kpop girl group twice's song "doughnut" LOL. it's maybe my favorite song ever (?). they also raaarely play their japanese songs outside of japan but i got to hear it live and it solidified my love for the song

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arbok tattoo

much like how i love team rocket, i love arbok. i sometimes draw jessie with an arbok marking tattoo on her chest and i considered doing that too but doing it on my wrist seemed like a nice placement. plus i can make my hand look like a snake and i think that's fun

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brushstroke tattoo

my first purely aesthetic tattoo and also my biggest piece! i found @/reina.asami's work on instagram and instantly fell in love with their style. a lot of their work centers around japanese culture and specifically japanese american culture. i had such a lovely conversation with them about being mixed and my experiences. we also talked about the irony of honoring our japanese heritage with tattoos haha

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botan hanafuda card

one of my favorite games to play with my grandparents on my japanese side is hanafuda! i've always loved how pretty the cards looks and all the different flowers. each suit corresponds to a month and the botan is for june (my birth month)

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bat

i like bats hehe. i had a tattoo themed birthday party last year where my friends made "kiana themed" tattoos and we put them on temporary tattoo sheets. but also @/loinktattoos was there to give anyone who wanted a real tattoo a real tattoo. and i got a bat designed by one of my best friends @/ghostbri, who shares my love of bats~

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botan

i came across @/miyookstatto's instagram a while back and reaaaally wanted a tattoo from her at some point. problem was she was based in seattle. however! i had a wedding in seattle coming up and tried to see if i could book an appointment the day i landed and she happened to have a spot open!

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wobbuffet

my most recent tattoo and maybe one of the most special. my brother and i have been wanting matching tattoos for yeaaaars but couldn't really think of anything to get. our love for pokemon was always something we had in common but he models and can't have anything copyrighted on his body. however, one of his favorite pokemon is ditto and i got the idea to just do its face because you could argue that it's just a smiley haha. so i decided to get just a wobbuffet face to match! what made it special is that we were able to tattoo each other! he did stick and poke for mine and i got to use a machine which was rad.

that's all for now!! i want more so badddd. definitely want a back piece at some point and would also love to get a little shooting star to commemorate making "i don't want to be a magical girl"

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triviallytrue · 1 year ago

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Ignoring situations involving doxxing (which are more serious but also less common and easier to protect yourself from), the main goal of sustained harassment on here is to get you to delete your blog. You can probably keep most of your friends by adding them on discord or whatever, but the underlying logic in these cases is "you are a person who exists on the same part of the internet I use, and I want that to stop."

I reject the idea that moderation will ever be a solution to this problem, at least not without creating new, worse problems. But tumblr can and should provide users better tools for defending themselves.

Let's talk about tumblr's private blog feature. You can password-protect a blog, so that users have to enter the password before being able to see and interact with your posts. This is barely a step above deleting your blog.

You need to manually share this password with everyone you want to have access to the blog, which does not scale to a following in the thousands. You need to hope that no one ever leaks the password to your harassers, in which case your only recourse is to change the password and manually reshare it, again. This is a Bad System.

What does a good system look like? Consider twitter's private account feature. All your followers are preserved, but future followers have to ask to follow your blog. If you block a follower, they can't just create a new account and dodge the block - they're locked out. You keep your blog, you keep your following, you keep your friends, and no one outside your bubble can touch you.

There are still downsides here compared to not being harassed at all - people who don't already follow you can't see your posts - but it gives you a way to turn off the harassment spigot that can be easily reversed if/when your harassers get bored.

Combine this with a feature ideally for both private and public blogs (allowing only people you follow to reblog or reply) and I think the situation on this site improves a lot.

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xxtc-96xx · 8 months ago

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so in regards to some recent community events

there have been some events happening in the community that unfortunately remind me of old happenings in previous fandoms, so I'd like to just put my two cents out there about the situation.

Mewtwo is overall pretty simple character design wise with a pretty simple palette. You'd seen how I have made some variations with a limited palette and they all still have some connection to the original purple and pink, or green and yellow. Because of that I know that I can't honestly expect someone out there might make a similar mewtwo character with colours close by, assuming that can never happen by coincidence is just unreasonable on my part, even when you add stripes as a nod to mewtwo's clone starters

So with that being said I think one needs to be reminded in this community that similarities are going to happen, be either colours, stripes, spots, accessories like glasses or scarves and not one of us owns that aspect of a design because sometimes you can only do so much with them while still trying to stay true to the original mewtwo

If there IS ever a situation where you might think perhaps there is another person out there who's designs lean closer to yours you should ask yourself first, is this a common thing? Does this artist have a history of copying everyone else, do they copy story ideas too or is it just in terms of appearance?

Once you consider that one should ask themself, how do I approach this? Simple, you send them a private message and you ask them. I can guarantee this community for the most part is pretty reasonable and I doubt the receiving end will bite your head off for asking. What shouldn't you do? smear them, making public call out posts accusing said person of theft with no evidence

That is what people did in my old community for the Lion King, and believe me when I was much younger I fell for the trap of making call out journals on thieves myself but that will never make the problem better, it just escalates the situation and makes it more complicated and stressful. I have dealt with genuine copycats in the lion king community, I have someone who has leeched onto both character aspects and story beats from me for fifteen years and counting at this point so at this point in my online career I've gotten better at telling coincidence from purposeful copying or theft. And the Lion King fandom has devolved into a sea of finger pointing and accusations, stealing and fighting. I've seen it happen every now and then here in the mewtwo and mew community now

Do not turn this community into what the Lion King turned into, we can be better than that, we can be adults and face the matter like adults, we can't be reactionary, we can't be twitter

#pokemon #mewtwo

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starkwlkr · 10 months ago

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american royalty | max verstappen

kennedy!reader

US GRAND PRIX (TIME SKIP)

Max was in panic mode. Little baby Luke did not want to leave his father’s side. Yeah, it was cute, but Max had to be in the car in five minutes.

“I don’t want to leave you either, baby, but papa has to go race.” Max whispered to the seven month old. It amazed y/n and Max how quickly Luke had grown.

Y/n wanted to burst into tears right then and there in Max’s driver’s room, but she held it in. She loved her boys so much.

“You should go, I don’t want you to be late.” Y/n told Max, which made him frown. “You’ll see us after.” She chuckled and grabbed Luke from Max’s arms. Instantly, the boy started to whine.

“It’s okay, Luke, papa is just going to win the race and then he’ll be back for more cuddles.” Max pressed a light kiss to his son’s head.

Y/n and Max kept your relationship very private so no one apart from their families knew about their relationship or baby Luke. When she did attend a race, she watched from Max’s driver’s room. Usually she was alone, but now she had Luke to keep her company. Before y/n could say something, Max turned to her.

“How much longer do you think you and Luke will be watching from here? Don’t get me wrong, I love you both for coming. I think it would be better if my family watches from the garage.” Max waited for you answer. He was sure y/n was going to be mad at him for even suggesting that idea, but she smiled at him.

“You read my mind.” She kissed his lips.

So without hesitation, Max grabbed her hand and together as a family, they walked in the direction of the Red Bull Garage.

When Max saw photographers start to notice y/n, he grabbed Luke from her and took off his Red Bull hat, using it to shield Luke from the cameras. They both agreed to keep their son away from the media. They quickly arrived to the garage just in time.

“Checo’s wife, Carola, is here. You can sit with her so you don’t have to be alone.” Max said as he led her through the garage. “And she has kids so that’s something you both have in common!” He tried to lighten up the mood.

“We’ll be okay, won’t we?” She tickled Luke’s side, which made the boy giggle.

“Max!” His race engineer, Gianpiero, called out. “Who’s this smiley boy?” He waved to Luke.

“My son, Luke, and this is my wife, Y/n.” Max introduced her to the British man. She didn’t correct Max on the term he used for her, it felt right coming from his mouth.

“Welcome to the Red Bull family!” He smiled at y/n.

After talking for a short time, Max had to leave so he gave y/n and Luke a kiss and a hug then left. She was introduced to Carola. It didn’t take long for the two women to get along.

Halfway through the race, the camera was focused on y/n for a few seconds. She was looking at a different monitor so she didn’t even realize she was on tv.

“And we have American royalty in the paddock today. There she is, Miss Y/n Kennedy, daughter to the late JFK Jr. and his wife Carolyn. Didn’t know she was a Red Bull fan.” Crofty said.

Immediately, Twitter was having a field day.

Y/n’s phone was flooded with notifications, but she ignored them. Baby Luke and Y/n were about to witness Max win.

As predicted, Max came in first with Checo taking second place. While Carola took her kids to watch their dad on the podium, Y/n stayed behind with Luke. As much as she wanted to watch Max, she didn’t want to expose Luke to everyone.

While the Red Bull team celebrated another win, y/n looked down at her son. “I think dad would’ve loved to be here, don’t you think?” Y/n asked. “Mom on the other hand . . . She would’ve loved Max that’s for sure.”

The topic of her parents made her emotional so she stopped talking. But it was definitely clear that y/n’s parents would’ve loved Max. Even if the media painted him out to be some kind of villain, Max Verstappen was far from it.

Max quickly made his way back to his family after the podium celebrations. He was eager to show his son his trophy, but before he could do that, he was stopped by Charles.

“You’re dating THE y/n kennedy?!”

“How do you even know?” Max wondered.

“Mate, you’re trending all over twitter. The cameras showed her, but what I want to know is why didn’t you tell me? I thought we agreed to tell each other everything!”

“You agreed, I didn’t.” Max corrected him.

“Still! You’re basically important in the eyes of america now. So if you get married, does that mean you’re automatically a US citizen and you can be president?” The Ferrari driver asked.

“I’m pretty sure in order to be president you have to be born in the US— why am I still talking to you? I have to go see my family.” Max said as he ran to the Red Bull garage.

“Congratulations, mr. president!”

Of course calling Max ‘mr. president’ became an inside joke in the paddock.

When Max made it back to the garage, he saw y/n talking with several drivers, one being the only American driver, Logan. At least they were keeping his family company.

“When Max is on break, he sleeps through the night, but he wakes up several times when his dad is gone. He’s such a daddy’s boy.” Y/n explained to Logan, Lando and Oscar.

“Of course he is, I’m the best dad in the world.” Max interrupted.

“Look at you, daddy Max.” Lando joked.

“Oh god, mate. Don’t ever say that again.” Oscar said.

“Anyways . . . How’d you like the race, y/n?” Logan asked the kennedy woman. He felt so at home at the moment. He was so honored to even be talking to someone related to the president of his country.

“It was amazing. Luke and I enjoyed every minute of it. Maybe we’ll just have to come back for another race.” Y/n looked at Max with hopeful eyes. Baby Luke cooed at his father.

“We are going to Mexico next and you love Mexico . . .”

“Great, we’ll be seeing the first family back in the paddock. It was great to meet you, y/n and you too baby Luke.” Lando smiled cheekily at the mom and son.

“You know Charles just called me Mr. President and now this? What else is going to happen?” Max laughed.

“Who knows, maybe you might end up being the president?”

#formula 1 #f1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #f1 imagine #f1 x you #max verstappen smau #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen one shot #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen #mv1 x reader #mv33 x reader #mv1 #max verstappen x you #kennedy!reader

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iz-star · 8 months ago

Text

Zayne: Hidden Motive - The hidden meaning behind these two images and other thoughts about this card.

Warnings: NSFW talk, personal interpretation about this card, some analysis (probably overanalyzing lol).

I've already mentioned this quickly over twitter, tho I have to admit that I hate to write down my thoughts over there cause it's already difficult for me to put my ideas in order, let alone writing them in threads (and not even in my native language, my brain can't do so much). So I'm going to try to explain this here better, especially cause I've seen a lot of people not so sure of what happened in this card, if what Zayne and MC did was straight up dry humping or if it was all just the movement of the chair without actually touching each other.

Of course, this card was wild just for the already suggestive (let alone, stimulating?) work of the camera when MC is on top of Zayne, but this game is not even rated +18 so they have to be careful about what they show. Sex isn't anything new to this game, however it all depends on the way it is portrayed and showcased. Most of the times, sex is always implied; there are spicy moments but it has never been anything overly explicit, most cases the sexy scenes are more like foreplay, what leads to actual intercourse/sex, the last part being left to the imagination. If they were going to be wild with this card, they had to be soft at portraying it, unironically. In order to do that, they had to resort to certain storytelling resources, in this case: the rocking chair, the leaf and the fabric over the couch.

The rocking chair's purpose I think it's quite obvious and it was to not to blatantly show MC and Zayne rocking against each other, it was like the perfect excuse to put them on such a situation without the characters doing it willingly, or so so cause it's already too much to know that MC is sitting on top of Zayne, however this is not new to the game, right? MC sitting on top of Zayne's lap is actually quite normal, she's done it several times; here they just had to give them an excuse to move and when Zayne pulled MC towars him, everything started. I seriously praise the masterminds behind this scene cause they literally gave us Zayne and MC starting to dry hump in front of our very eyes in a very subtle way.

Again, the camera direction is the most risky thing they had done to showcase a sexual act so far, and I'm not mentioning this to downplay any other sexy scenes from Zayne or the other LIs, it's simply bc the bouncing movement it's too explicit and induces quite strong sexual ideas related to it, to go further seemed to be impossible at this point, however it also looked like they wanted us to be sure of what was happening here somehow, that it wasn't only the rocking chair making us seeing things, so in order to confirm what our minds were thinking and it wasn't only the sound of Zayne's kisses filling the room, they resorted to metaphors: the leaf and the fabric over the couch.

Maybe this is my dirty mind speaking, but is so suggestive the way this image was showed right after Zayne asked MC "Do I look like I can work right now?" with all the movement of the camera going wild and he resuming to kiss/suck MC's neck. It literally started to rain in this very moment, and the drop running down the leaf seems to be a metaphor of MC's arousal. Yes, she was getting wet down there. For this one, I think that the reference is quite easy to understand and there's no need to explain more, except to say that I actually loved the subtle yet beautiful/elegant way to refer to her arousal.

But what about the fabric over the couch?

If the image of the leaf was a reference to MC, then this one is a reference of Zayne's own arousal. What this image has is a disheveled fabric that's hanging from the edge of the couch, so there's two things:

The couch → Zayne's thighs/legs (isn't it a common joke within the fandom that Zayne is MC's favorite chair due to all the times she sits on his lap, anyway?)

The fabric → Zayne's robe.

Did you notice that among the four LIs, it was Zayne's robe the only one with the loosest tie and both sides of his robe do not even cross? like this thing it's barely keeping together somehow.

Which is genuinely surprising coming from Zayne, the Zayne whose towel outfit has the safest tie, the Zayne whose workout outfit covers his body from head to toe, the same Zayne who has dressed five (or was it six?) layers of clothes in the past (Master of Fate), the same Zayne who is always wearing long coats and suits and literally the one who makes us feel like victorian man seeing a woman's ankles for the first time lol.

I definitely think they did this on purpose. Give him easier access? Hell yeah. What this image is intending to say is that he was already opening his robe down there, making the contact with MC's wetness closer? Maybe that's why after this, she told him not to be too intense? Hmm...

Now, this probably is my overanalysis, it's up to you if you choose to believe this or not. For some people, media is about what is explicitly told, but narrative resources say a lot most part of the time, it helps the writers to give the readers hints about certain foreshadowing or, in this case, to reference to certain things that are impossible to address due to censorship.

Personally, I loved this card so much, but at the same time, it leaves me with a sense of dread. Did you notice how emotional, bittersweet or even sad/nostalgic was Zayne's bgm during his kindle? I saw some people uploaded the recording of his kindle without the bgm just to appreciate the naughty sounds (no blame here cause I did too ngl ahaha), but it made me want to listen to the music alone and good lord, the music made me so emotional. After watching the kindle with the music on again, I realized of how emotional this moment becomes when the bgm is playing. It gives vibes of something so intense yet so fragile. Go listen and appreciate it alone, you'll see what I'm talking about:

youtube

I noticed that they used two new songs for these cards, one was this one and the other was used in Rafayel's kindle, for Xavier and Sylus' kindles, they used bgm that was previously used in other memories. It's also interesting that the art direction of Zayne and Rafayel's kindles has a bit of a somber mood to them, like even their scenarios make sure to use cold colors and emotional backgrounds, while Xavier and Sylus' use more warm and romantic colors, (tho at least Xaviers bgm music was also intense even if the song is not new).

I feel like the bgm wanted to give a sensual yet emotional feeling to most scenes (except Sylus' since this one was the most chill, which is normal considering that he's new), however, we can't deny that Zayne's song feels like something is about to break somehow, idk how to explain. Someone in the comments section of the video said that it was angsty and beautiful just like Zayne is...

I've been feeling like Zayne's latest cards have been really emotional an intense. In Snowy Serenity is Zayne the one who is in danger, in Hidden Motive, it's MC the one in danger and both cards showcase how far are they willing to get in order to secure each other's safety (and also how much they lie to each other about their own safety lol).

In Snowy Serenity, Zayne and MC get emotionally closer, in Hidden Motive they get physically closer and yet both cards have a bit of both themes too, emotional and physical intimacy on another level.

In Snowy Serenity, Zayne knew that he might not be back so he asked MC to see him off the airport and gave her a hug, even if he never said goodbye, and in Hidden Motive, he tells her that she's not allowed to leave him without saying goodbye. Then he tells her he'll like her as long as she's alive and well. We also have the Adventure above the clouds chapters where they talk about ther lifes in 50 years in the future and how they'll be together still relying on each other. In Dawnbreaker's anecdotes, MC gets to celebrate Zayne's birthday with him and tells him that from now on, she'll always celebrate his birthday with him.

It feels like they're starting to look into the future a little too much, like making promises too soon, it feels too perfect... as if something bad is about to happen and rob us from that bright future, you know?

Do you know who made promises before a tragedy?

I've been thinking about this since I finished Hidden Motive cause... my first thought was... Now what can top this? A lot of us got really surprised by Zayne's card cause the spice was unexpected and I think it's needless to say this, but even the kindle felt a bit different from what we are used to see normally, even some ppl said the kindle was a bit longer than normal. Why would they feed us so much good/emotional/intense content of Zayne lately? And how are they going to keep it up? My brain tells me that something sexual being released too soon after this might feel repetitive so in order to create a bigger impact after this they'll resort to angst. I don't think they'll make Zayne's bday event sad, however, they also announced that more main story branches are going to be added from September to December and Zayne's probably gonna be the first to return, since he was the first one to disappear from the main story.

I just can't help thinking about this, I have this bad feeling that I hope is just my stupid brain overthinking and that we will have happy sweet memories with Zayne from now on even tho the story seems to keep hinting that something bad is going to happen, ugh.

Anyway, sorry for my rant, I actually have a lot of thoughts about this card that I don't know if I'll get to write cause I've been really busy with work lately, however I wanted to at least get this out of my chest.

#zayne #lads zayne #l&ds zayne #zayne love and deepspace #love and deepspace #l&ds #lnds #hidden motive #Youtube

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yanderestarangel · 1 year ago

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So I saw a MSFW picture of Miguel and I had an idea.

Stepfather Miguel x FTM reader. The plot is that stepfather Miguel has been possessive and obsessed with his ftm stepson and the stepson actually enjoyed the older man’s attention.

The main smexy part is that Miguel asks his stepson to give him a pink desert. The reader thought Miguel meant a cake until Miguel pushes him on the kitchen counter and starts eating out his pussy (the pink desert was the readers cunt.)

- 🍒 anon. (You don’t have to do this request if it makes you uncomfortable! Love your works.)

TW: SMUT, EAT OUT, DIRTY THOUGHTS, CHUBBY/DAD BODY MIGUEL, FTM READER, BRAIN ROT, HANDJOB, STEPFATHER X STEPSON.

I think it's cute when anons use emojis to identify themselves (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。

art credit @/marmar0u on twitter (X)

Miguel was a man of forty-three years old, with a poorly groomed beard and some white hair in his locks ─ despite his tall stature he already had a "dad body" physique with a protruding tummy and some rough muscles in his arms and thighs... And now he had entered your family. You didn't like the idea of having a stepfather at first, but what was supposed to be a bad relationship became like a balm for your stressful days.

It was common for the older man to spoil you with expensive gifts like perfumes, clothes and everything you asked for or wanted; your desires were his desires too. Honestly, it seemed like he was more attached to you than his own wife. Miguel protected you from everyone who tried to go against you and you could always count on his soft lap and good hugs at the end of the day. Your stepfather loved having you in his arms, close to him... In his control.

It was obvious to outsiders that Miguel was a man obsessed with you, possessive and jealous. No man or woman could come close to his beloved stepson ─ he used manipulation, threats and even money to keep you all to himself, especially being the only father figure you had in your life. Bringing you close to him with praise for every little thing you did wasn't difficult, especially when you cooked for him.

In the distorted head of your dear stepfather, every dish made for him was a preparation for you to be his little husband one day, perhaps when he would have enough courage to ask for a divorce from your mother; but until then he liked to have control of his body and mind.

── That was supposed to be an ordinary night, the warm afternoon gloom still hung in the air as you walked around the house to prepare dinner since your mother had gone out to visit some of your relatives. You obviously preferred to stay in the company of your stepfather Miguel, who was drinking some beer in the living room armchair and watching every move you made around the kitchen.

He had controlled himself a lot in the last few days and gave you more personal space than he should have, making you even meet new people. Jealousy consumed every fiber of the tanned man's being, leading him to have a simple idea to put you in your place.

"You know boy, I wanted you to make a pink dessert would you give me?" His voice came out hoarse as you watched the older man stand up to his full height, as you saw him smirk mischievously, his adam's apple bobbed visibly, desire pooling in his voice.

You initially agreed innocently, already getting ready to get the ingredients and make a strawberry cake, but soon you felt thick calloused hands on your wrists as he bent you under the cold marble counter and pulled down your shorts along with your underwear ── exposing the pink flesh of your pussy, while you felt his breath mixed with expensive drink. Miguel savored the sight of your exposed little cunt, his hunger growing with each passing second. He lowered his head further, capturing your clitoris between his lips and flicking it gently with his tongue.

"Oh, you taste delicious mi hijo," he moaned against your flesh, suckling and nibbling at your sensitive bud. His hands gripped your thighs harder, spreading you wide open for his pleasure. He paused momentarily, admiring the pink folds of your sex before delving back in, eager to explore every inch of you. His tongue darted inside, teasing and probing, causing your hips to buck deliciously.

"I could eat you out all night, boy... Does it feel good? Is this what you wanted, baby boy?" His fingers dug gently into your thighs, seeking permission with his gaze. As you nodded regardless of whether it is right or wrong he dove back in, licking and sucking your clit with renewed vigor, savoring the taste of you. His tongue danced around, teasing your folds and driving you further into pleasure.

He growled low in his throat, responding to the dominance behind your request. His fingers bit into your flesh harder, claiming ownership as he devoured your pussy. Each thrust of his tongue was a claim, each suckle a promise. An intense heat surged between us, fueling the connection and burning brighter with every pass.

He thrust blindly, driven by a newfound ferocity. The sweetest sound escaped your mouth-your pleas for 'papi'-and he used it to feed his hunger. His free hand reached for his erection, stroking it through his boxers ─ "So you enjoy being ravaged by your papi, mi pequeño?" Miguel purred, his grip on his cock tightening as he watched your reaction.

Each stroke matched the rhythm of his tongue, mirroring the passion between you both.

Every time he swirled it around your clit, his shaft leapt in his hand, pulsating in sync. His tongue lashed at your most sensitive spots, eliciting fresh moans from deep within you.

The combination of stimulation left you gasping under his careful touch; Miguel was determined to send you high... A desperate need to please, to dominate, consumed him entirely. His beard scraped against your skin with each frantic movement, adding another layer to the sensations engulfing you.

His tongue lashed at your clit, twirling it one last time to push you over the edge. His hand pumped furiously, matching the intensity of your release. Watching you climax drove him wild, a surge of pure hunger coursing through him. He pulled away reluctantly, leaving your pussy wet and quivering from the attention. With a final, satisfied stroke, he came undone, splattering onto his stomach. A growl resonated in the air as he relished the view of your satisfaction.

His chest rose and fell heavily, his gaze locked on your flushed face. Victory and possession painted across his features, a silent declaration of his newfound control. Your stepfather leaned down to kiss your dripping slit, a quiet congratulations for reaching a peak only he could provide.

"Next time, it'll be my turn mi hijo... Thanks for the dessert."

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m4iya · 13 days ago

Text

⋆⭒˚.⋆𝜗𝜚 Order up! Matcha green tea, 100% sugar, 100% ice with black pearls and coconut jelly for @frosted-flakes!

Collab? Kenma Kozume (fluff, post high school, mutual pining + forced proximity)

Your phone had been blowing up with notifications all day since last nights stream. Who knew your viewers would get so heated over a couple jokes? Heck, was it even your viewers? It seemed more like the ones that were freaking out weren’t actually watching for the full context.

Well, that’s what you said every time. It kept them watching, right?

Though, being tagged in rants and comments wasn’t the only thing happening this time. You were receiving an absurd amount of messages from viewers as per usual, but also from other streamers and influencers. The most common words present within all of them being:

“Guess who mentioned you in their stream last night!”

This time, it felt a little different from other controversies you’d been wrapped up in, so you couldn’t help wonder who this mystery person was, and what you had done to earn yourself a mention.

One scroll on your timeline told you just about everything you needed to know. A post sat at the top of your feed; a video captioned “@/mc of all people?’

Clicking on it, a clip of someone’s stream began to play; a QnA of sorts.

“Kodzuken, will we be getting a collab with anyone soon? Can you drop any names?” The streamer read aloud before pausing to think.

“Hmm.. there’s a few things in the works, but I don’t know for sure when they’ll be out.” He replied, absentmindedly flicking through the questions on another monitor.

He paused for a few seconds before continuing to speak. “I’m not the best at reaching out to people, but I’d like to see what kind of content I could make with @/mc. She’s pretty funny.”

Proceeding to continue with other questions, he completely ignored the way the comments blew up at him.

Out of every streamer you knew, he had to be the absolute last person you’d have expected to even have any idea of who you were. You'd been watching his content for a while, having seen him at influencer events and such. Though, you'd never been able to approach him at any of them, often using 'I was talking to my viewers, that's why I couldn't approach him' as an excuse to yourself.

Even though it wasn't exactly your objective as an online personality, you figured that controversies and out of pocket statements would be one way to get his peoples attention. It wasn't like you were exaggerating your personality per se, you were always pretty outspoken, so the only extra steps would be recording or streaming your antics.

Even though it looked like it worked, you had no clue where to go from here. Would you send him an email? Or a message? And what would you even collaborate on? What would happen to his view count if he did make content with you?

You tapped onto his profile on Twitter, scrolling through his recent posts as you wondered what to do. Suddenly, a notification popped up on the top of your screen: A message request.. From him!

Kodzuken hey, this is @/mc, right?

You had a pretty large following, and he had mentioned your name in his stream. Staring at the message for a few seconds, you wondered if he was trying to be funny.

MC u really aren't the best at reaching out to people lol and yeah thats me

Your messages maintained an air of nonchalance, hiding the way your eyes were peeled—waiting for his next response, your heart thumping loud enough for it to reverberate through your ears.

Kodzuken thats a little mean anyways i'm assuming you saw my stream in that case so how does a collab sound?

MC I'm not too busy tbh I should be free next week. u sure u wanna collab with me? ur viewers will probably freak out over it

Kodzuken my channel not theirs 🙄 what do you wanna do for the stream?

MC something simple maybe some type of challenge? are u free to call so we can set it up?

Kodzuken give me a sec ill call you

Your hands shook in place, palms sweaty as you waited for him to call you first.

When your phone eventually rang, you let it sound for a few seconds, clearing your throat. Answering the call, you held the phone up to your ear.

"Hello?" He spoke first, his voice being exactly how it sounded on stream.

"Hey!" You internally sobbed over how that might've sounded.

And so the conversation began to flow, the two of you brainstorming ideas and details about the collab. It would be held on his channel, with you editing the stream into a video for your own channel. Before the two of you hung up, he asked for your number so he could send over his address. You wondered why he couldn't just send it over DMs, but your heart was already racing too fast for you to even bother asking.

You got to work immediately, organising your schedule and allocating time to buy the things you needed. He said he had most of the basic things already, but to make things funnier, you suggested a couple ingredients that you'd buy yourself. The idea was to hold a cake baking challenge with odd ingredients. Without telling each other what flavours you were using, you needed to decorate as nicely as you could, and you'd taste each other’s dessert at the end. One of you will guess incorrectly, and the penalty will be to post something on the other's social media account after the stream.

You both agreed not to do anything rash, but also not to plan or rehearse the ending too much. It had a mix of the chaos that was usually in your content, and the viewer interaction that he'd implement in his own. Preparing things behind the scenes, you both kept each other updated until the day arrived, and you nervously made your way to his place.

Standing in front of his home, you took a deep breath before knocking on the door. You heard the shuffling of slippers from the other side, stopping abruptly at the front door.

"Who is it..?" A voice groaned from the other side.

"Um.. me?" You nervously answered.

A faint gasp sounded from the other side before a flurry of steps took off, leaving you wondering what just happened. Could it be that he forgot that you were coming over today?

He returned around a minute later, opening the door immediately. You noted how crinkled his clothes looked, his voice as though he'd just woken up. The skin of his face was dewy—freshly splashed with water, the evidence visible on the hoodie he wore. It wasn't the one he usually had on in his streams.

"Sorry about that." He muttered, attempting a chuckle. His laughter definitely didn't come off as nonchalant, not with his eyes looking everywhere but at you.

Though, you definitely weren’t feeling too confident yourself. Your hands were clammy as you bent over to pick up the bags that you brought with you which contained the things you'd both be using in the stream.

"I'll help." He quickly offered, taking the things in his own hands with a faint smile tugging at his lips.

Butterflies. Your stomach churned in a way that it hadn't done since high school.

Following him inside, you realised how big his home was, surprised that he seemed to live alone. As you walked to his kitchen, he gave you a haphazard tour, which was limited to the rooms you both passed. He steered you away from the direction of his own room, telling you that it was 'just a little messy right now.' Looks like he really was asleep.

Once you reached the kitchen, it surprised you to see his camera and tripod already prepared. He placed the bags down on the counter, walking towards his setup.

"Should I set up my stuff as well?" You asked as you pulled it out of one of the bags, having brought it just in case.

"It's fine, I'll send you the footage." He replied.

With that, you prepared the materials you'd both be using. He provided the bowls, spoons and mixing tools. You handed him an apron and wore your own, giggling at how he struggled to wear it despite it being so simple. You offered to tie it for him and he did the same, even though you were more than able to do so yourself. You lifted your arms as he took the fabric around your waist to tie it, gently weaving one piece over the other.

"Is that too tight?" He asked. "Want me to loosen it?"

"Yeah, just a little."

You could feel your heart beating in your ears as he spoke from behind, helping you with this short, mundane task. Things were all over the place today, and you weren't sure how you'd get yourself under control.

The two of you went through a few more things, and soon began the stream. You greeted the viewers, and introduced yourself to those who didn’t know you.

And so the stream went on, unfolding much more differently than you had initially expected. It seemed that the people who were criticising you had either stuck around to see what would happen, or had simply left.

You cracked jokes with each other while mixing your ingredients, using the mystery flavours that you had poured into separate bottles last night—so tired that you could barely remember what was in them.

At the end, you both decorated the cakes together in an attempt to make them as appealing as they could be. Yours was coated in red frosting, and you used white buttercream in a thin piping tip to write out his name in cursive on the surface of the cake. His was haphazardly covered in pink frosting, purple polka dots shaped from fondant scattered over the surface and the sides. He had decorated the edges with sugar pearls and rainbow sprinkles, running out of time before being able to write your name on it.

Cutting each other a slice, you both took turns tasting it. You could barely contain your laughter as he cut into his—the centre was so moist that the knife he used was coated in batter as he removed it from the cake. You opted to eat a piece of the edges instead.

Exaggerating your reaction, you coughed, walking off camera to grab a drink of water. The ingredient he had used was chilli, and it wasn't settling well with you at all. His laughter echoed through the room as you drank from the cup of water; probably because of the slightly exaggerated reaction that you had rehearsed with him before the stream in the case that he happened to choose something spicy.

As he took a bite of your slice of cake after you had returned to the stream, his face contorted; confusion? He chewed once, then paused, scrunched his eyebrows, and continued chewing.

"Is that—" He coughed. "Is that coffee?"

You could barely contain your laughter at his reaction. Well, he wasn't completely off. It was coffee, alongside a couple different spices such as cinnamon, nutmeg, and.. well, you lost count after the first two.

"Not exactly! Wanna try again?"

He held his nose bridge, 'deep in thought'. You both knew that one of you needed to get it wrong to go through with the penalty. A few obviously wrong guesses later, it was decided that he'd be the loser. After talking to the chat a little, answering some questions and interacting, it was revealed to them that you'd soon upload a video on your channel, which would contain extra content, and that the penalty post would also be up on his account. With that, he concluded the stream, slouching over the table with a sigh as you took a seat on one of the tall stools, picking at the cake he had made.

"At least the frosting tastes good." You laughed, taking a spoon of it.

"Yours wasn't actually too bad," He muttered. "Just.. very flavourful."

The situation suddenly set in; it was now nighttime, and your belongings were scattered everywhere. How were you supposed to just pack up and leave? That same feeling from earlier was now completely overwhelming you as you felt your face warm up. What exactly was going on? Keeping your eyes on the slice of cake, your face began to heat up. In your peripheral, you noticed his head turn.

"You okay?"

“Just a little tired,” You smiled, avoiding his gaze. “I should probably get leaving soon." Reaching behind your back, you fiddled with the knot in an attempt to untie it. The quicker you could pack up, the quicker you'd be out of this mess.

Though, even the apron wouldn’t budge at all no matter how hard you tried to undo it.

"Did you superglue this or something?” You chuckled, exasperated. “It’s so tight!”

"Oh,” His head perked up. “I loosened the first tie, but I double knotted it just in case." He stepped towards you, offering to fix it yet again.

"All done." His hands reached over to the collar, lifting it over your head to which you pulled it down, folding the apron in your lap.

"Guess I'll do yours as well?"

You stood from the chair as he turned his back to face you. This was definitely something he could've done himself. Though as you fiddled with the fabric—in the deafening silence of the room, the way his breath suddenly hitched became overly apparent.

At this point you honestly couldn’t tell whether it was yours or his who’s breathing you were hearing. Your eyes scattered as undoing the fabric of the apron was the last thing you were thinking about right now. It was a little late to be realising this, but he was much taller up close than he seemed online, and given the way the apron wrapped snugly around his body—he was also a little thinner than you imagined. Not to mention the stray hairs at the nape of his neck that had escaped from the bun he’d made.

“..Are you done?”

Shoot. Who knew how long you were standing there with your gaze scattering everywhere? You quickly untied the knot with a single swipe, and he lifted the collar over his head, handing it to you. As you reached out to take it, you noticed how tightly he held it, seemingly not wanting to let go. It did seem a little out character for him to be so forward—having been the one that initially reached out to you first, inviting you over and being completely unlike how you initially perceived him. Not that you had thought he was mean, he just didn’t seem like the type to be so outgoing.

Or maybe it was motivated by something. Maybe the small patches of plush pink painting his cheeks, the way his lips were slightly parted so as to prepare himself to speak, his gaze focused on you for the first time today—maybe things were a little different for him as well. You for one knew yourself, being well aware of what you’d been going through today.

“..Do you have something to say?” You prodded, teasing although your voice was small, shaky, and laced with nerves. You definitely weren’t in any place to be picking on him.

He cleared his throat, gaze leaving yours once more. “..Do you have plans tomorrow?” Your eyes fluttered to his slender hands, their grip loosening as he spoke.

“No,” You replied. “I had nothing planned for this week other than—well, this.” Taking the apron from his hands, you set it on the counter. His hand moved to brush a loose strand of hair out of his face, “Do you live far?”

“A little.” Your car was parked outside, but you weren’t the biggest fan of driving at night, and alone as well? Not happening—not unless it had to. “But I drove here, so i’ll just-”

“You can stay the night.” He interrupted.

“No, I can’t—really-“

“I have space for another person.”

“I don’t even have a change of clothes!”

“I have spares.”

You were surprised that he’d offer something like that, and double down on it as well. Well, his place was huge; but you didn’t i expect him to go around telling random people they can stay over. Especially when he’s only met them once. He was now stacking the dishes in the sink, yawning as he did so.

You couldn’t help tease again, stepping towards him. “So you actually want me to stay over?”

He clicked his tongue, turning on the water. “And if I do?”

That.. wasn’t what you expected to hear. You couldn’t see his face, but the redness glazing the tips of his ears told you that he’d probably been going through the same things as you all day. Well, it was more than just today for you; and you wondered the same for him.

extra:

“Hey, we forgot about the penalty!” You recalled, slipping into one of his spare hoodies.

He sighed, brushing a hand through his hair as he scrolled through his phone, opening the camera. “Sit over there.”

“Here?” You took the seat on a chair in front of his setup, crossing your legs. The two of you giggled as you set up the photo, with him directing you to wear his headphones.

You took the photo of yourself, throwing up a peace sign, and captioned the post ‘get used to this face, ur gonna be seeing it a lot more’.

Watching the replies immediately come rushing in, you laughed together. It definitely wouldn’t be the last time you’d both record something together.

from my 100 followers event ✩ other works

#anime #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #fluff #haikyu fluff #manga #haikyu x reader #kenma #kenma kozume #kozume kenma #kenma fic #kenma hq #hq kenma #kenma x reader #haikyuu kenma #hinata shouyou

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measuredingold · 29 days ago

Text

black butterflies and deja vu

author’s note: more best friend noah because i am only human and can never get enough of it LOL bit of a longer one, so strap in. as always, enjoy and feedback is appreciated :) title from the song with the same name by the maine lol

pairing: noah sebastian x reader

word count: 5.8k

cross posted on ao3 / part one and two ( but can be read as a stand alone )

cw/tw: slight miscommunication, Noah Sebastian Is Bad At Feelings, fluff, friends to lovers, ~first kiss~, jolly is sick of his friends and likes to meddle in their business, noah gets anxious, mutual pining, feelings realization, 18+ minors do not interact

It happened gradually as time went on, that feeling that kept building up inside Noah's chest. He tried to ignore it. He has before. Except, for some reason, this time it was much harder.

He couldn't seem to shake that feeling in his chest, tightening whenever he was away from you, and then expanding when he was with you. He can't escape the warm sensation that flows through his body whenever you're near or whenever you touch him, even if it's fleeting. He also can't seem to get you out of his mind, always plaguing his thoughts at the most random times.

He feels crazy.

Noah's tried telling himself that it wasn't anything, that he just enjoyed having you as a friend. He tried convincing himself it was normal to feel this way about a friend, but that all came to a halt when he looked at you one evening and the only thing he wanted to do was kiss you.

Which is definitely not a normal feeling to have about a friend, right?

So now, here he is, staring at you with wide brown eyes and parted lips all the while you remain completely oblivious.

Fuck.

Fuckfuckfuck.

He likes you. He fucking likes you, more than a friend probably should and that was one of the most terrifying realizations he's ever had in his entire life. He can't like you, not in this way, because once that happens then... then everything changes, and he can't let that happen.

You can't leave him, and he knows you will the second you find out about these ridiculous feelings. At least he thinks they're ridiculous because in what world would it make sense that you feel the same? He thinks that sinking feeling in his stomach is a sign, reminding him that you don't.

You turn towards him and Noah subconsciously sucks in a breath, heart rate picking up at the sight of your smile. He's absolutely fucked.

"What do you think?"

He blinks at you. "...Huh?"

"The movie?" You arch a brow at him before huffing out a soft laugh, your eyes moving between him and the screen.

Oh. Yeah. That. Noah had completely forgotten, too consumed by his own thoughts to even remember where the fuck he was right now. Which is his bedroom. With you. In his bed. Alone.

That isn't anything out of the ordinary, Noah's been alone with you more times than he could count. It's actually quite common between the two of you to hang out and watch something together, whether it be in his bed or yours, or both sprawled out on a couch at someone's house. It's a normal thing for friends to do.

Except he doesn't think he wants to be your friend anymore. Actually, he knows he doesn't, because all he wants is to actually kiss that adorably confused expression off of your face right now.

"Uh. It's good."

You pause. "...You haven't been watching, have you?"

"Um." He feels his cheeks warm, giving you an embarrassed grin. "Not really?"

"Noah." You whine out. "This was your idea!"

"I know, I know!" He holds his hands up, face still on fire. "I'm sorry."

He can't even remember the title of the movie at this point. Some random indie film he had heard about on Twitter, that much he remembers. He's been wanting to watch it for weeks, but Jolly didn't seem that interested. He figured he'd watch it himself but when he brought it up to you, you immediately offered to watch it with him.

He didn't understand the feeling weighing on his chest then, but he sure as hell does now.

"It's honestly not that good, anyways." You hum out, reaching for the remote between both of your bodies.

"Yeah. It's kinda slow. Lost interest." He has no idea what he's saying, but figures it was the right option because you're nodding in agreement.

"Super slow. And the dialogue is so shitty. It'd be one thing to be slow but have a good enough dialogue to get the plot going, but it's lacking in both areas."

"Agreed."

He watches you click around on the remote to his TV, turning the movie off and immediately opening another app, flipping through the selection. His head tilts, brows furrowing.

"What're you doing?"

"Finding something else to watch." You say as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, which it is.

"...Why?"

"Because we're supposed to watch a movie together."

Oh. "You don't have to-"

"I know I don't." You cut him off, glancing over at him. His heart rate picks up at the smile you give him, the softness behind your eyes making his chest feel funny all over again. "I want to. So, help me pick out something to watch."

All Noah can do is nod. He watches silently as you continue to flip through the movies, not daring to use his voice because he's scared of what might come out. Eventually you land on something he's seen about a thousand times but he doesn't object because you seem more than pleased with your choice. The triumphant noise you make has his stomach flipping and he can't help but smile at you.

Halfway through the movie, he barely realized how close you had gotten to him. He holds in a breath when he feels your press against his arm, shifting a bit to get more comfortable before your head falls against his shoulder.

He doesn't move.

And when you hadn't lifted your head after another twenty minutes, something in the back of his mind shouts at him to do something. He usually never listened to that voice, typically able to drown it out, but this time... he chooses to listen. Noah slowly leans his head against yours, letting out the breath he had been holding when you nuzzle yourself closer to him.

...

It's been months since that night and yet it's still the only thing he can think about.

You are the only thing he can think about.

Those feelings he was experiencing that were once silly and quite honestly ridiculous have morphed into something much more... serious. Noah isn't quite sure what to do about it. He isn't sure if there is anything he can do about it.

Jolly told him to suck it up and tell you, because "What's the worst that could happen?"

A lot of terrible things could happen, Noah thinks, and decides he'd rather keep this to himself. The longer he doesn't say anything, the longer he gets to spend with you, because he knows once your relationship changes... who knows how long he'll have until you eventually leave.

It's fucking pathetic, he knows it is. Not saying anything in order just to keep you close to him, but if that's what he has to do then he's going to fucking do it. He can't lose you. He knew it before he figured out these stupid feelings, and there's no way in hell he's losing you now.

Most times it's easy to do, to act like it's not there, even though every time he's around you there's a voice in the back of his head yelling at him to kiss you. Which is what's happening now, and the alcohol in his veins isn't helping the matter much.

You're all out, and there's no special occasion, just bored on a Saturday night. Nothing special is happening yet you look the most beautiful he's ever seen you, which says a lot because he thinks you're fucking stunning all the damn time. Tonight, though, there's something about you that he can't quite shake. He can't even take his eyes off of you, and he'll partially blame that on the alcohol, and then you.

The urge to touch you is almost unbearable and he can't stop himself from reaching out every so often, fingers brushing against your arm to get your attention. Nothing out of the ordinary between you two, but each touch almost drives Noah insane. At one point you were sitting together in a booth surrounded by friends and his hand was planted on your thigh, almost as if it was meant to be there.

You didn't say anything. Maybe you didn't notice, or just didn't care, but Noah did. He cared a lot.

You're now up and across the room playing a game of pool with a few other friends and Noah decided it was best for him to stay there, the burning desire to keep his hands on you too much. He's gotta fucking chill. His eyes followed you the entire time.

Jolly kicks him from under the table.

"Ow. What the fuck, man?" Noah's words slur as his eyes narrow at his friend who's currently giving him the most shit-eating grin.

"You're staring, lover boy."

His face flushes. "Fuck you."

"I don't think I'm your type." Noah rolls his eyes as Jolly leans back against the seat, raising a brow at his friend. "However, I do know who might be..."

"Don't start." Noah holds a hand up, lips pressing into a straight line. "Not tonight. Please."

He's a bit too drunk to even think about that, especially when he knows Jolly's just going to tell him the same thing. Tell her how you feel. Sounds so easy but it's far from it, and Noah knows that that is not a possibility - and never will be.

"She's staring, too, you know."

It's almost comical how quick Noah's head whips into your direction, his heart lodging itself in his throat when he finds out that you are staring. He sees the moment that you realize you'd been caught but instead of looking away, you give him a sheepish smile and wave. Noah can see the flush on your cheeks from a mile away and he can't stop himself from waving back, a smile forming on his lips to mirror your own.

Oh shit.

"She likes you." Jolly says in a sing-song voice, his accent a bit more prominent from the alcohol.

"Shut up-"

"All you have to do is tell her-"

"I'm not fucking telling her shit-"

"She liiiiikes you-"

"Dude-"

"You wanna kiss her soooo bad-"

"Jolly." The sterness in Noah's voice makes Jolly shut up, but that shitty fucking grin never leaves his face because he knows he's right - at least about one thing.

Noah does want to kiss you. So fucking bad. He can't stop thinking about kissing you, actually.

"I'm just saying." The older male shrugs, arms crossing over his chest. "She's still looking at you, man. Can't seem to look away. Maybe she wants to kiss you, too."

His friend's words have Noah's face heating up and his heart pounding beneath his chest. He tries to be as discreet as possible, eyes flicking across the room to find you again. He does find you staring again, choking on literal air the second he watches your tongue poke out and swipe over your bottom lip, before taking it between your teeth as you look away. His eyes land back on Jolly.

"Told you."

Noah's swallows down the lump that was lodged inside his throat. That didn't mean anything, could it? You were just staring at him... but you were staring at him almost like you wanted him? He shakes his head. No. That wasn't it. That couldn't be it. In no world would you ever... but... what if you could?

He blinks at Jolly's smirking face, not sure what to say. His mind was racing, the logical part of his brain battling with the very inebriated part of his brain. He should just leave it alone, brush Jolly off and stay where he is, but his eyes find you again. You're not staring this time, focused on your turn in the game of pool that you're still playing, and something inside Noah is tugging at him, urging him to go to you.

He looks at Jolly one more time and his friend just nods.

He's moving before he can really think about it, pushing himself up and out of the booth. His eyes are on you as you finish up your turn, head lifting up. He sees you searching, for what he's not sure, and then your eyes land on him making his way towards you. You smile, wide and bright, and his stomach twists.

Why do you look so happy? He wishes you would stop, his hopes rising higher and higher with each step he takes. He watches you hand off your stick to a friend, saying something to them and he reaches you just as you turn around, that same smile on your lips. You still have that slight flush to your cheeks and Noah's going to blame that on the alcohol from tonight, and not because of him, but his heart still pounds against his chest at the possibility of what if.

"Hi." You say softly.

"Hey."

"Was wondering when you were going to come over here."

Noah's eyes widened slightly. "Really?"

"Well, yeah." You shrug. "You were all the way over there. I missed you."

Your words hit him hard, crashing into his chest like a ten ton brick. All he can do is blink down at your smiling face, eyes twinkling. Not even an hour ago you were in that booth with him and Jolly, yet you still missed his presence enough to voice it. He tells himself it doesn't mean anything, can't mean anything, but your words are weighing on his chest and his mind is racing so fast he feels dizzy.

The urge to say what he wants becomes almost too much, his body heating up as the words get lodged inside his throat. There's two voices battling in the back of his mind, one yelling Tell her! while the other is screaming at him to Run! as both fight for dominance. In the end, he does neither, and instead stares at you in complete silence.

"You wanna play?" You either don't notice his complete silence or choose to ignore it, motioning to the pool table behind you. "You can go for me. I've been sucking so much this game."

He blinks at the table and then back at you. He wants nothing more than to stay, and he goes to agree but the voice in the back of his head stops him. All the possibilities of tonight's outcome flow through his mind and he has a feeling that if he stays with you the rest of the night, he's going to do something stupid.

And even in the inebriated state that he's in, that voice that's screaming at him to do something reckless, he can't risk that. He chooses to listen to the one screaming at him to run. He shakes his head and gives you a sad smile, and ignores his heart dropping to his stomach at the way your face falls.

"Nah, I..." He trails off, eyes moving towards the bar. "I was just getting another drink, and wanted to know if you wanted one? It's on me."

"Oh." Jesus Chirst, that didn't feel good. "Yeah, sure. Get me whatever you're drinking."

He nods wordlessly, giving you a tight lipped smile before heading off towards the bar. He doesn't glance back at you, can't seem to get himself to, but he can feel two sets of eyes burning through him as he walks. He knows one is you, and he doesn't think he can stomach that sad look on your face again, so when he waits for the bartender to get him what he wants he chooses to look the other way.

The other way is unfortunately Jolly, the older male frowning hard at him from across the bar. He's angry, Noah can tell that much from his body language alone, and for some reason that makes this that much worse. He swallows down those words that were stuck in his throat, trying to push them so far down that maybe he'll forget them, and sends the bartender the best smile he can muster up as he thanks them for the drinks.

He ignores the feeling of regret that's settling in the pit of his stomach, putting on that same fake smile as he makes his way back over to you and hands you your drink. Something clenches beneath his chest at the barley there smile you give him, mumbling out your thanks. You look like you're about to say something else but Noah beats you to sit, nodding towards the booth.

"I'm gonna head back over there if you need me."

Your mouth snaps shut, lips pressing into a thin line before nodding up at him. "Okay."

That same voice in the back of his mind that had just lost moments ago tries to break through again, yelling at him to do something about the sadness swimming in your eyes. He knows he's the reason behind it and he fucking hates it, the urge to fix what's wrong growing. Though he chooses to push it away for the second time that night and heads back towards the booth, Jolly's eyes on him like daggers.

Noah ignores his questions, suddenly growing too tired to speak or to even think about it any longer. He throws half his drink back before casting his eyes towards you again, heart sinking when he finds you not staring at him. Instead, you were looking down, lips set into a frown as you scrolled your phone.

That voice comes back, but this time to yell at him for fucking up. For not listening and to just do what it had asked. He doesn't listen, again, and shoves it away for the third time that night before throwing back the last half of his drink.

...

He doesn't know why you're here.

Or maybe he does, but he's been trying to let go of that feeling for the last few weeks now. There's no way you're here for the reason he thinks, so you standing outside his door has him confused.

Noah's head tilts. "Hey?"

You push past him immediately, toeing your shoes off by the entrance. He steps aside, after you brush past him, and continues to stare at you with that perplexed look - brows furrowed and eyes narrowed.

"Did I do something?" You whip around to face him. "We've barely spoken and I feel like I did something wrong."

"What?" His eyes widen, staring down at you. "You didn't do anything-"

"Then why have you been ignoring me?" You sound exasperated, and he can see the frustrated lines in your forehead as you glare up at him.

"I haven't been ignoring you." Yes he has, but he can't admit that. He swallows down the lie. "Been busy."

Noah sees the moment your eyes sadden and it feels like a punch to the gut. "Since when do we lie to each other? I didn't know we started doing that."

"I'm not lying-"

"Bullshit. You are." Your voice is raising now, your frustration going and Noah can see Jesse on the couch glance your way. "You're lying and you know it, Noah, and I don't-"

This time Noah cuts you off. "Can we talk about this upstairs?"

His eyes flick towards Jesse again who definitely was now eavesdropping, and his roommate's eyes widen before turning his attention back to the television. Noah's eyes land back on you, pleading to go up to his room.

"If I do, will you tell me the truth?"

His stomach turns violently at that because he knows he can't. He can't tell you why he's been ignoring you, why being in the same room as you physically fucking pains him, and why he has to keep conversations short in fear of saying something that'll ruin everything.

He nods, swallowing thickly.

"Yeah. I will."

He has about thirty seconds to come up with a damn good lie.

You eye him for a moment, tongue pressing against your cheek before nodding. You don't wait for Noah to follow you, already halfway to the stairs. He catches Jesse's gaze and he can only shrug before he finally follows behind you, letting you lead him to his room. He shuts the door behind him quietly as you sit down on his bed, arms crossing over your chest.

"Talk."

Noah's never heard you so serious before and that makes his stomach turn, swallowing down the lump beginning to form in his throat.

What does he say? He didn't come up with a good lie like he had planned, the thirty seconds it took to get to his room not being enough time.

"Um."

Your eyes on him are overwhelming, burning into his skin. He stands in the middle of his room, hands wringing out in front of him as he tries to slow his mind down to come up with anything to say. A beat passes, and then another, until at least a minute of complete silence has gone by.

Nothing. He has nothing.

"I don't know what to even say."

Your gaze on him hardens and another beat passes before your arms fall to your sides, shoulders sagging. You wave him over and Noah hesitates before he sees the pleading expression behind your eyes, and his feet move before he can think of it. He sits beside you, but keeps his distance, and you turn your eyes away from him, sighing softly.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable that night."

Noah arches a brow at you. "What?"

"That night. When we all went out? You started acting weird after that, so I'm assuming it was because of how I acted and I'm sorry. I just... I thought..." Your words trail off and your head drops, a weak chuckle falling from your lips.

"I'm confused."

"Jolly just told me something that night." You sigh, hands wringing in your lap. "I... I thought what he said was true so I..."

Noah doesn't say anything, continues to stare at you with that same confused expression because he has no idea what the fuck you're talking about. What did Jolly tell you? It could have been anything, and that thought alone has his stomach twisting with nerves.

"I... He... I thought you liked me? Which sounds fucking crazy to say out loud, but he really made it seem like you did, so uh. I was trying to, I don't know, let you know that I felt the same? Which obviously didn't work," You look up from your lap to stare at him, lips dipping into a frown, "or did, which would explain why you're ignoring me."

It feels like Noah's world comes to a stop. There's no fucking way you just said what you did. His heart pounds so hard against his chest he swears it's going to pop right out, and there's ringing in his ears that he wishes would just fucking stop.

You like him? You. Like. Him.

And Jolly told you that he liked you? He's not sure if he should thank his friend or beat the fuck out of him, because he never confirmed out loud that he did. He also never denied it, and Jolly was known to be able to figure out everything. Noah's still not sure how he does it.

He blinks at you. "What?"

"Maybe I read too into it," You continue, eyes dropping back to your lap. "I just. I thought... You wouldn't stop looking at me. And earlier that night you wouldn't stop touching me. I thought maybe he was right?"

Noah feels like he's going to pass out at any second.

"Or maybe he had just meant you liked me as a friend? I don't know, and I find that pretty cruel because he's known about my feelings for you for forever and-"

"Feelings?"

"-and that would be really fucked up of him to lie about something like that and-"

Noah says your name suddenly and you pick your gaze up once again, mouth snapping shut.

"What do you mean by feelings?"

"...I feel like it's pretty self explanatory." You sound so small, like you're afraid to even admit to it. "I like you. Have liked you. For a while now."

“Since when?”

“…Forever? Don’t act like you didn’t know, I was pretty obvious. Everyone else knew.”

“Well, I didn’t.”

He feels dumbfounded, staring at you with wide brown eyes and parted lips as if you just told him the secret meaning to life.

You like him.

You - his best friend - have feelings for him. Noah's mind races instantly, trying to understand the meaning behind your words because even though you just plainly spelled it out for him, that voice in the back of his head is telling him that he heard it wrong. You don't mean it in that way. You can't. You're you and he's him and it just doesn't make sense why you would and-

"Noah?"

He's still staring.

"I'd really appreciate it if you said something." He blinks at you and his stomach drops at the nervous expression you're giving him, chewing on your bottom lip anxiously.

The problem is that Noah doesn't know what to say. How can he tell you that he feels the same? He doesn't remember a time where you didn't make his heart race just by merely being in the same room. There was never a time where he didn't search for you when things got tough, when all he wanted was to be shut away from the world with you because you made it feel just a bit better. He can't even think of a time where you didn't make him smile just by the sound of your laughter.

There was never a time, he slowly thinks, and his stomach twists at the sudden realization that he's always felt like that about you. From the beginning. From the very second he met you he has been enamored by you, even though he's always told himself it was nothing.

"I..." His mouth opens but nothing else comes out, words falling short.

"You can let me down." You say gently, your smile not quite reaching your eyes. It's almost sad, actually, and he hates the pitiful feeling it gives him. "Just go easy on me."

"I don't..." His words catch again and he has to clear his throat, eyes flicking off the side because he suddenly can't look at you. "That's not what I want to do, I... I just don't know how..."

To say it. He has no idea how to even get across what he feels for you because truthfully, there's no words in the English language to even explain his emotions. And speaking of those, they're becoming a bit suffocating right now, the walls in his room are slowly caving in and-

"Hey. Look at me, please?"

He can't stop the shiver that rolls through his body and has to force himself to blink towards you, seeing your once sad smile much more timid, and he swears he sees something wet flash behind your eyes.

"It's just me. You can tell me anything, remember?"

"That's why it's so hard." He manages to get out, voice thick. "Because you're you, and I'm me, and we're..."

His words trail off yet again and he can't help it, casting his eyes to the side again. He can't look at you, heart pounding beneath his chest because it's too much, too fucking much, and even though there's a part of him begging for him to just say it, there's still another part warning him to protect himself.

"I know." Your voice is so soft. His eyes flutter shut and he sucks in a deep breath. "I know, but I'd never lie to you. Especially about something like this. You know that."

Your words press into his chest so heavily he has to physically catch his breath.

Yes, he does know you wouldn't lie to him. Not about this and honestly about anything. Yet, that mean voice in the back of his mind is telling him it's still too good to be true. That this is all some sick and twisted game you're playing, and somehow Jolly is in on it too.

"I know, I just-"

"Noah." He doesn't open his eyes when you call for him, not even when he feels the ghost of your fingers against his cheek. He flinches, actually, body tensing at the touch. "Fuck. Sorry. I'm sorry. Can I touch you? Is that okay?"

He ignores the tremble in your voice and instead counts to ten in his head, head nodding on the last exhale. Your touch is back in seconds, just a ghost of a feeling, and he finds himself leaning into it until your hand is pressed firmly against his cheek.

"...Can you look at me?"

He thinks for a moment, stomach twisting at the thought of looking at you right now and decides that that may not be the best idea. He shakes his head.

"I don't know if I can."

"That's okay." Your reply is rushed, and Noah shivers at the feeling of your thumb brushing against his cheek. "Just listen to me, okay?"

"Okay."

You heave out a sigh, thumb never stopping it's motion, "I really like you. Like like you. That feels so elementary to say but it's true. I know you're my best friend, but I really... I really like you, Sebbe. So fucking much, and... and I don't know if you feel the same, and it's okay if you don't, but I just wanted - no, needed - to tell you."

Your words hang in the air and Noah thinks he's stopped breathing. All he can hear right now is his pounding heartbeat that's rushing through his ears and he swears you can probably hear it too. What does he even say to that? He can't even think clearly, and he sure as hell can't think of a proper response to you.

A beat passes, and then another, before his eyes flutter open. Your thumb hasn't stopped moving against his cheek and he's thankful, because he thinks the touch is the anchor keeping him afloat. He blinks.

"...Are you sure?"

You stare at him, brows furrowing and your thumb stutters for a beat that has his heart plummeting for a split second before the motion comes back.

"Am I... sure?"

"Yes." He swallows thickly, trying his best to keep his eyes on yours. "Are you sure?"

The realization dawns on you then, face relaxing at you understand what he's trying to ask. You know enough about him to understand his fears, especially with something like this, and he's thankful he doesn't have to verbally express that out loud.

"Yes. I'm sure." You sound confident in your answer, eyes locking with his. "One hundred fucking percent."

For some reason, those words are what suddenly muffles the voice in his head telling him to run. It doesn't disappear completely, but it does shut up just enough for him to feel like he can fucking breathe. Warmth spreads throughout his body, and his chest feels kind of funny but in a good way, so he welcomes the feeling.

"Okay." Noah sees the moment your entire body relaxes, shoulders sagging in relief. The smile on your face widens just a bit, and softens around the edges, thumb still moving against his cheek. His lips twitch at the corners. "So, um. You...?"

Something flashes behind your eyes. Affection? He doesn't know, but whatever it was made his stomach flip in the most exciting way. You nod.

"Yeah. I do. A lot." Your smile only widens at that, and he feels his own begin to form. "Do uh... do you?"

Oh. He still hasn't said it. He opens his mouth, shuts it, and then opens it one more time before coming up short again. Why were words so hard? It seemed so easy for you to just out right say it. I like you. It feels like it should be easier now knowing that you said it first, knowing that you felt the exact same, yet it was like all words escaped him.

Your eyes search his face and your smile is nothing short but gentle. You're not saying it but he knows this is you silently encouraging him, but also letting him know he can go at his own pace. You've always been so patient with him, letting him take his time to do the right thing, or to get back on track, and he thinks he owes you enough to at least try and say something.

Noah nods slowly, and that same look from before flashes from behind your eyes. "Yeah. I do."

It's like time slows down after that, the two of you lost in your own world. Even though it wasn't the exact words he was looking for, it was something, and the look on your face and the wetness building behind your eyes was indication that that was good enough.

He lets out the breath he was holding.

"Good." You blink away that wetness building in your eyes, your smile so blinding that it has Noah's heart clenching beneath his chest and warmth spreading through his body again. "I'm glad, or else this would be really awkward right now."

He chuckles, low and breathy. "Well, I'm glad it's not."

"Me too."

Your thumb strokes across his cheek again and Noah lifts a hand up, fingers wrapping around your wrist to keep you there. He watches you lean closer, his beating heart racing once again at the close proximity.

"Should we thank Jolly?" You hum out and Noah swears he sees your eyes drop from him down to his lips before dragging back up.

"Please don't talk about Jolly right now."

You inch closer. "Why not?"

"Because I don't wanna think about him when I kiss you."

Pride flares beneath his chest at the instant reaction from you, cheeks twinging a slight shade of pink and eyes widening. Noah's eyes drop as your lips part and the urge to kiss you claws at him, screaming at him to just fucking do it. It seems like you are going to say something but he doesn't wait to hear it, and finally listens to the voice in his head.

His eyes squeeze shut the second your lips meet, too scared to keep them open in fear of this being fake. He just made it all up. It's not until he feels you kiss back, the pressure of your lips on his almost bruising, that he realizes that this is definitely not made up. Warmth spreads through his body as your lips move together, and he's never enjoyed kissing so much until this exact moment.

You pull back after a beat to catch your breath but Noah doesn't wait, instead leans back in to brush his lips against yours. His fingers tighten around your wrists to keep you there and the breathy chuckle you let out against his mouth has his stomach turning, that same warmth spreads throughout his chest.

For the first time in his life, the voice in the back of Noah’s mind is completely quiet.

#bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #bad omens fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfic #mine

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mightyostanes · 2 months ago

Text

Why Jews Aren't "Trying to Trick G-d"

(Note only secondary sources are cited in the bibliography)

For my second post I had originally planned on writing something more fun but unfortunately, I feel the need to write this. Lately I’ve seen quite a few people on twitter saying that the way Jews interpret Halakah is that Jews are trying to trick G-d. While this is obviously a bad faith argument designed to be shitty, I still think this subject should be explained in greater detail. Mostly because I think there’s a fundamental disconnect in the way people imagine religions should interact with their deity and how Judaism has historically interacted with G-d. Furthermore, due to the Haskalah and Counter Haskalah I feel that a lot of these ideas have been lost to a lot of Jews in the English-speaking world. Replaced by Platonism that has much more in common with Philo and Maimonides then it does with anything the sages actually wrote or believed. Or to put it in much franker terms the toilet demon Rabba Bar Rav Huna mentioned in Gittin70:A6 probably wasn’t a metaphor. Instead, it seems incredibly likely that both he and Rabbi Tanhum Bar Tanilai believed in a literal Sheyd that lived in literal toilets no matter how embarrassing that sounds.

The reason this bizarre tangent is important is because if you actually look at the biblical, rabbinic, medieval, kabbalistic, and hasidic literature it utterly destroys the idea that the relationship of the Jew to G-d is of one sided kowtowing submission. Granted, it’s quite easy to interpret it that way but that’s mostly due to conditioning in terms of what people think a theistic religion should be about rather than any wiggle room in the texts themselves. In fact, I’d wager most arguments against this have more to do with people’s idea of the Tanakh than the Tanakh itself.

The biggest reason for this misunderstanding in my opinion is that very few people actually know what a covenant is let alone its context. To illustrate my point, I’d like you to think back on the last time you made a covenant with someone or something. Assuming you aren’t a ceremonial magician the answer to the question just posed is probably never. In the modern world covenant has become almost solely associated with the Bible and has almost no context. Especially because the idea of the ‘New Covenant’ talked about in the works of Paul the Apostle has very little to do with what covenants historically were. Rather than statements of blind faith, covenants in the Ancient Near East were more analogous to contracts and treaties. There are even some scholars who think that the covenantal theology in Deuteronomy may be based on Ancient Near Eastern vassal treaties. (1)

In these treaties a bigger state or kingdom would make a treaty for a smaller kingdom to accept fealty to them. (1) In these treaties, at least in paper, rather than being a slave the ruler of the smaller nation was supposed to be a junior partner. Said vassals would also continue to be junior partners to the larger power if they held up the obligations given to them by the treaty. (1) Similarly, just as the smaller party holds obligations to the larger party the larger party also holds obligations to the smaller party. Including ostensibly having to listen to complaints or suggestions the smaller party made.

In the Tanakh or Five Books of Moses, there are exactly three covenants mentioned that occurred between G-d and humans. These three aforementioned covenants are the covenant with Noah and his descendants once the Ark lands, (Gen 8:20-9:13), The covenant for Abraham’s descendants where an unknown light phenomenon signifying G-d passes through Abraham’s sacrifice (Gen: 15), and the famous covenant between G-d and the Israelites on Mount Sinai (Exodus 19-24). Shortly after the establishment of both the Abrahamic and Mosaic Covenants G-d or an emissary of G-d appears and holds a banquet with the covenant members (Gen 18:1-10, Exodus 24:9-18). In the Ancient Near Eastern context that these texts were written in, banquets and feasts thrown by a king or senior covenant partner were incredibly important tools for control or consolidation. In both the Neo-Assyrian Empire and in the kingdom of Mari not only eating with the king but being at the table with him showed that you were considered as part of the king’s metaphorical family (2). These constructed family hierarchies would be clearly delineated by how close one sat to the king and how one sat, with the people right next to the king being seen as close immediate family members analogous to sons or younger brothers. In the two previously mentioned covenants the Elders of Israel and Abraham’s family sans Lot were sitting with G-d or his emissary suggesting an incredibly close relationship instead of merely that of master and servant. Especially as the angels or heavenly host were not seated ahead of the human participants at the metaphorical dinner table.

This idea of man as junior partner and consultant is also seen in the way that humans can critique, give advice to, or argue with G-d and G-d takes their words into consideration. A famous example of this post covenant is Abraham giving G-d suggestions on what to do with Sodom and Gomorrah and G-d accepting his input (Gen 18). An even more extreme example is in Exodus 32 when Moses actually argues with G-d and seemingly wins the argument thus saving the lives of the Hebrews. Similarly, complaints were by no means unknown by the rulers of vassal states to their overlords. The famous Amarna letters addressed by Egyptian allies and vassals to Pharaoh Akhenaten are filled with complaints and requests, with a few even being acknowledged (3). Considering that Pharaoh’s considered themselves living gods this just adds more background to the precedent of complaining towards, making suggestions to, or arguing with the divine.

Beyond the kinship of all the community of Israel, and not just a singular son, with G-d there are also many notions that have to be cleared up in regard to humankind’s place in creation. A famous Midrash Tanhuma Tarzia 5 has a Roman Consul asking Rabbi Akiba why Jews circumcise male children when G-d has them born uncircumcised. In response Rabbi Akiba shows the consul grain, created by G-d and bread which is that same grain altered by man. Rabbi Akiba then asks the consul which one is better, before giving the obvious answer that most people prefer bread. This little story besides giving a philosophical explanation for circumcision also gives a good summary of the main ethos of Rabbinic Judaism. That G-d made the world unfinished so that mankind in general and Jews in particular could finish it. To establish the kingdom of heaven on earth rather than merely waiting for it. The translation of ‘Tikkun Olam’ as repairing the world was meant to be understood literally and not just as a metaphor for social justice.

Lastly and perhaps most shocking to an Abrahamic Gentile reader, the G-d of Judaism was not traditionally portrayed as unchanging or infallible. The idea only gained traction in rabbinic Judaism after Maimonides inserted it into his theology after borrowing it from Aristotelian, Islamic, and Christian ideas in the 12th century. Historically the G-d of Judaism has been shown to change their mind, and according to Moshe Idel is even affected by theurgy (4). As evidenced by many stories in the Torah where G-d explicitly changes their mind on what they want to do. The mutability of G-d’s mind in terms of human prayer and action carries over to the realm of Halakhic interpretation assuming the other party has a good point. The most famous example of this rabbinical overturning G-d’s decree is in Baba Metzia 59B where Three Rabbis tell G-d that G-d and Rabbi Eliezer’s interpretation of a ruling regarding an oven is invalid. They achieve this by citing Deuteronomy 30:12, and Exodus 30:2 stating that the Law is not in heaven and is for the majority to decide its correct meaning. Instead of smiting the group of Rabbis G-d simply laughs stating that ‘My children have beaten me’. Indeed, the Great Maggid even goes as far as to say that G-d, like a parent teaching their child Torah, actually prefers a novel interpretation instead of just parroting the interpretation given by the parent (5).

In Pauline Christianity Deuteronomy 30:12 which states, “The Law is not in Heaven” has been taken to mean that Halakah isn’t binding in the kingdom of heaven. However, the mainstream rabbinic interpretation means that only living humans can truly follow the Torah and perform Mitzvot to their fullest extent. In the Talmud in Shabbat 88B there is one of many Moses vs angels battles found throughout Jewish literature regarding whether humans should receive the Torah. Just like all of the other stories with this mytheme, Moses obviously wins this battle and takes the Torah to Israel. What makes this story different is that rather than using theurgy to bind the angels or just beating the tar out of them, Moses defeats them with a well-reasoned argument. I’ll let the passage I copied from Sefaria speak for itself.

Moses said before Him: Master of the Universe, the Torah that You are giving me, what is written in it? God said to him: “I am the Lord your God Who brought you out of Egypt from the house of bondage” (Exodus 20:2). Moses said to the angels: Did you descend to Egypt? Were you enslaved to Pharaoh? Why should the Torah be yours? Again Moses asked: What else is written in it? God said to him: “You shall have no other gods before Me” (Exodus 20:3). Moses said to the angels: Do you dwell among the nations who worship idols that you require this special warning? Again Moses asked: What else is written in it? The Holy One, Blessed be He, said to him: “Remember the Shabbat day to sanctify it” (Exodus 20:8). Moses asked the angels: Do you perform labor that you require rest from it? Again Moses asked: What else is written in it? “Do not take the name of the Lord your God in vain” (Exodus 20:7), meaning that it is prohibited to swear falsely. Moses asked the angels: Do you conduct business with one another that may lead you to swear falsely? Again Moses asked: What else is written in it? The Holy One, Blessed be He, said to him: “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12). Moses asked the angels: Do you have a father or a mother that would render the commandment to honor them relevant to you? Again Moses asked: What else is written in it? God said to him: “You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal” (Exodus 20:13) Moses asked the angels: Is there jealousy among you, or is there an evil inclination within you that would render these commandments relevant?

-Shabbat 88B (Babylonian Talmud)

The Mitzvot, something occasionally seen as higher and holier than the immanent aspect of G-d (6) were meant to be performed solely by humans. Because just like the angels, G-d lacks many of these physical imperfections that give many of the Mitzvot any real weight. Therefore, as the ones who do the most mitzvot, how we interpret and follow them is fundamentally up to us.

Admittedly I could go on and on about the theoretical frameworks behind the ideas. Such as the status of the Torah vis a vis the status of G-d, or the tradition of prayer as legal battle with the divine realm but that’d be a whole other bag of cats. One that’d probably take 20 pages to accurately give my thoughts, thoughts that would be at best heretical to at least a fair number of Jews. So instead let us end this here, there is no way for Jews to cheat Halakhah because it fundamentally belongs to the Jews. It is our burden that we have to bear and our most cherished treasure. Even if it did indeed come from G-d, like any gift the receiver usually is the actual owner and the one who decides what to do with it.

Citation List for non primary sources

Koller, Aaron. “Deuteronomy and Hittite Treaties.” Bible Interpretations , September 2014. https://bibleinterp.arizona.edu/articles/2014/09/kol388003.

Milano, Lucio. “Naptan Ḫudûtu Aškun". Practice and Ideology of Neo-Assyrian Banquets.” Thesis, Storia Antica e Arceologico Ciclo , 2013.Section 3. Eating With The King: The Earthly Banquet. PG 60-80

Nutter, Nick. “How the Great Kings Managed Their Vassal States during the Bronze Age.” nuttersworld.com, August 15, 2024. https://nuttersworld.com/civilisations-that-collapsed/managing-vassal-states/.

Idel, Moshe. Middot: On the emergence of Kabbalistic Theosophies. Brooklyn, NY: KTAV Publishing House, 2021.

Idel, Moshe. “The Son of God as a Righteous in Hasidism .” Chapter. In Ben: Sonship and Jewish Mysticism, 531–85. New York, NY: Continuum , n.d.

6. Idel, Moshe. “The World Absorbing Text.” Chapter. In Absorbing Perfections Kabbalah and Interpretation, 26–45. New Haven, Connecticut : Yale University Press, 2002

#judaism #kabbalah #antisemitism #anti semitism #Halakah #jumblr #Tricking G-d #rant post

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