#I think it’s me feeling like I have a legitimate reason to cancel but they assume I’m ‘sick’ so I have to live with them thinking that

[floral-hex]

lol not me getting irrationally angry when my therapist office calls back and says “we hope you get to feeling better.” I’m not sick! And you already hung up! And im grumpy and don’t want to tell a receptionist all about it and im sad and also did I mention grumpy! And now they’re just going to think im sick until I can cry to my therapist in a week!

[goodolreliablejake]

Fantasy races are an uncomfortable concept, because they present a world that literally works the way racists think that it works. The attempts to mitigate this problem often fail to address the core concern, merely making the idea more palatable.

A big example is trying to correct by changing the language from "races" to "species." This attempt fails for two reasons:

1) Exactly! Racists think that people of other races are a different species. That's the foundation of "race science," phrenology, all of it.

2) Are demihumans different species, though? Like, the interactions between elves and dwarves don't resemble the interactions between different species in our world. They don't act like snakes and lemurs, or whales and krill, or even cats and dogs. More often we've got different groups of people, who may speak different languages and have different cultural practices, engaging in diplomacy or war and struggling to coexist. In practice, they are treated as nations: ethnicities. Except they're ethnicities who are biologically distinct enough to have objective differences in ability.

This is something that puts me on edge in Mass Effect, otherwise one of my favorite games. True, the game ultimately lands on condemning the genophage, and it's not subtle about that. I mean just look at the name... But it's still considered debatable, morally grey, and Mordin Solus remains one of the most charming and enduring heroes of the series. The setting has bent over backwards to make every racist stereotype and talking point as legitimate as possible. In this setting, it is objectively true, scientifically proven that it is in the DNA of Krogans to naturally be violent, warmongering killing machines whose explosively rapid breeding poses an existential threat to the galaxy. That in turn is meant to make us think that maybe forced sterilization is something worth considering. It's hard to ignore the parallels to real life racist propaganda. I don't think it's malicious, just ungrounded and thoughtless; the result of creators to whom these ideals are abstract thought experiments, rather than reflections of real history.

Another big example is Dark Elves. They try to make it okay, to mitigate the message by fleshing them out as characters, by scapegoating an abusive deity rather than an ingrained nature, by erasing the monster manual description that reads "Always Chaotic Evil," by trending skin tone away from black and towards purple, or gray, even pale white. But none of it really changes the core issue, does it? The idea of drow is to equate dark skin with evil, to fetishize that idea, and to tell a story about a subsect of people cast into darkness as a result of sin in a direct parallel to racist Christian beliefs about dark skin being a curse or punishment from God.

So, do I think we need to cancel Mass Effect and stop playing D&D or telling stories about drow? No, not really. I mean... I do all these things. Truth is, I don't have an actionable solution, for myself or anyone. But the dynamic is clearly present and worth describing. And the attempts to challenge it are often insufficient, more about making ourselves feel better about what we're already doing than enacting real change.

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

I used to be part of the TOH fandom but left after the finale - I felt it was very lacking and was a huge letdown for all the reasons you said. Patting itself on the back and lore erasure. But I'd like to ask about something different.

It's no secret Dana hates Disney. But saying it everywhere, the jabs at Disney in the actual show, the attitude of fans parroting her, especially when the news of the shortening was first out - it was legitimately intense. Disney the company has done bad things. But there was a period where I felt like a bad person for even remotely enjoying Disney movies and Disney-published books. I hated myself and felt I was 'betraying' the show, because I had been told Disney was the enemy and nothing more. Disney shortening the show was not a good decision. But it also provided fans with a convenient scapegoat to put every bit of blame on when the show had the tiniest flaw. Comics of beating up Mickey Mouse, 'Disney' being treated like a swear word, praising TOH as the holy grail of animation and saying Disney hated gay people - it made me feel I was a traitor to the show and to myself. (I'm still figuring out my sexuality, but I know I'm not straight.)

Do you think the Disney blame game was too much?

The toh fandom has this incredibly binary way of thinking; the show is the greatest thing in animation and if you don't agree then you're a bigot. Lumity is the best sapphic ship ever and if you don't think so then you're lesbophobic. Shipping non canon ships is tantamount to a war crime. And of course, any criticism of the show has the convenient Disney defense. Any and all flaws of the show is because Disney is evil for not letting the show reach its full potential.

Listen, getting your show cancelled or shortened sucks. But, unfortunately, it's not unique and writers need to prepare for that because it seems to be an occupational hazard in the entertainment industry. A lot of shows get cancelled without even having a conclusion (thank you Netflix for ending the Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance on a cliffhanger! even after the show won a got dang Emmy! 😤) so people should be thankful that at least the toh crew were allowed to finish the story.

I can give grace when analyzing a show's elements knowing what the writers had to deal with. But if they make decisions knowing ahead of time that they only have half a season and 3 specials left, and proceed to add more characters and plot lines that would require a longer season, then those are all fair game.

Dana knew of the Shortening around the production of Eda's Requiem, yet decided to add the Collector, because screw it! We like this little guy and want to see where it goes! They had Hunter get possessed and kill his best friend, yet barely any time is given to him to process that trauma. In the penultimate episode, Boscha, of all people, gets a mini sub plot despite not being relevant for a full season. Luz's angst arc gets 4. separate. resolutions.

None of this is Disney's fault. This all on the crew for not using their precious time wisely and tossing whatever they can to the wall to see what sticks.

So yeah, the Disney blame game is too much but it's also a blessing in disguise because now it's a convenient shield for whoever doesn't want to hear criticism about the show.

As for feeling guilty about liking Disney; listen, Disney has been foundational for literally millions of people for decades. Its presence and influence is seemingly inescapable. And the company has done some awful things in the name of corporate greed and profit.

But you should never feel guilty for liking something that brings you joy.

Remember that writers and artists are responsible for the shows you love. Many queer folks have seen themselves in Disney movies for a variety of reasons and there are many queer artists that have worked for Disney (hi Howard Ashman and Andreas Deja!)

So no, you're not a traitor for liking Disney.

The toh fandom has a very reactionary, us-vs-them attitude and it's incredibly toxic. So don't let the haters get you down!

I wish you well on your journey and hope you're in a better place.

Thank you for the ask!

[whomadewaffles]

Here are my rambling thoughts on the whole season:

Huh, I'm legitimately shocked they didn't do bards lament (or maybe saving for after the timeskip? Which is...a choice) because they have done such a good job building it up even all the way back in season 1. On one hand bard's lament was realy hard watch for me and almost made me stop watching c1 because it felt so..raw and real and I didn't think that the found family dynamic they had could carry on..so..not having to go through that again is definitely a upside side. I also feel that it may have been something like.. this moment in the campaign was special and if we Tried to do it beat for beat it just would just feel like a cheaper version so let's go in a different direction.

On the other hand..all that build up for no pay off for the People expecting it and no gut punch for new viewers?? Also what about a curtian character who shows up as a result?? (Iykyk) he definitely deserves to be animated. What about the way it changes and effects the pikelan relationship??

In short My feelings are conflicted, i enjoyed the season overall but this is probably the LEAST I've liked any of the seasons, at least in a adaption sense (kash dying..not seeing the cool anti gravity gorge thing in raisan's lair are the smaller changes that irked me for some reason) almost like they felt they had to rush it..but with studios canceling shows at the drop of a hat..I get it.

If the other seasons had been a 9/10 for me I'd say this one is more like a 7/10

[belphiesgirlfriend]

Obey me! Brothers music taste headcanons

——————————————————————————

more like ramblings than headcanons tbh but i had this stuck in my head and needed to get it out, also feel free to send requests for diff headcanons!

Cw’s: none!

Little bit satirical (i over exaggerate sometimes cuz it’s funny) but pretty in character overall i thinkk

——————————————————————————

Lucifer:

• You know this motherfucker listens to classical music and classical music only cuz he’s boring

• Okay but jokes aside i see him listening to like 30’s 40’s 50’s music especially the love songs.

• Like straight up fallout 4 soundtrack music, he’d listen to it while doing paperwork or unwinding

• He’d definitely be really prideful (no duh) about his taste in music, he’d feel all fancy and refined when he tells people

• Type of dude to be like “modern music simply can’t compare to the classics…” shut up grandpa we get it u know bach’s zodiac sign, penis size, and mothers maiden name

• Wants to be different so bad, he’d strictly listen to music from his vintage record player or some shit cause it’s the “most authentic” way to listen, fr acts like a manic pixie dream girl (he’d hit me upside the head if he heard me say that sorry luci🫶)

——————————————————————————

Mammon:

• r&b and spanish music

•but i feel like he’d like 2000s party music from all the clubbing and casinos

• def a weekend listener and like 90’s rap

• but also like i wouldn’t be surprised if he listened to some 90s rock too

• he’d listen 2 sublime or nirvana or local h (i’m projecting on the last one)

• but anyways he’d be a #1 rihanna fan he’d blast her music in his room but then deny liking her💀make it make sense!!

• also he knows her best album is loud CAUSE HE HAS TASTE!!

• also tyler the creator i get the vibe he’d love him

• kali uchis fan too

•ALSO i feel like he had a phase where he listened to juice wrld and was like “these cheating lying females….” after he got his heart broken by a witch YOU CANG TELL ME IM WRONG😭😭 it’s okay though cause he’s embarrassed by it now

• oh childish gambino too duh forgot about him

ALSO LET ME MENTION DINERO IS LITERALLY HIS SONG ITS ACTUALLY HIS

——————————————————————————

Levi:

• this one’s gonna be real fucking short IM SORRYYY

• he listens to anime openings and game soundtracks

• also vocaloid

• that’s literally all i can think of dude

• he’d be like “i don’t have time for normie music…”

• his room is literally that old caramelldansen meme from 2019/2020

——————————————————————————

Satan:

• this one was harder for me to pinpoint

• first instinct would be classical music but it’s canon he likes ska music too so 🤷‍♀️

• i really do feel like he’d listen to all types of music, like a true jack of all traits, if he likes it he likes it so his playlist is allllll over the place

• for some reason i get a vibe he’d really like 80s music in particular though

• the song that pops into my head is who can it be now? by men at work idk why

• maybe even older music i feel like he’d like sam cooke

• OH both him and belphie would like mazzy star and fiona apple idk why but they would

——————————————————————————

Asmo:

• okay crucify me for this one but…mitski I JUSG FEEL LIKE HE WOULD

• but i also see him loving lady gaga a lot cuz he has taste

•omg he’d listen to old katy perry too

•but yea also probably lil nas x he’d have a celeb crush on him

• oh tyler the creator too with his gay ass, him and mammon both love him, they def have done a duet to see u again

• he’d be a barb probably defend nicki too😭

• and as much as it pains me to say it, he’d fucking listen to ayesha erotica and be like “this is so good!!!”, hed post a devilgram story with one of her songs and then get cancelled on twitter

• “I made a severe and continuous lapse of judgement…” and then did the same thing a week later

——————————————————————————

Beel:

• type of guy when you ask him what music he listens to he goes “idk i don’t really listen to music”

• he legitimately looks up “hype playlist” on youtube to work out and that’s the extent of it

• really can’t see him being a big music guy

• if u invited him to a concert or something he’d go though for food

•he’d give you a piggy back ride so u can see better

• tbh if u were to put on music he would not care much no matter how good/bad it is

• you could walk in on him working out and literally listening 2 cbat or some shit

• HE LITERALLY IS CBAT GUY😭 he’d be like “i always use this song when i’m working out..

——————————————————————————

Belphie:

• emo fucker

• i feel like he’d like emo/ 90s rock ( but more “rockish” than mammons 90’s rock)

• but he’d also love any more relaxing music with softer vocals

• he’d be a deftones fan I KNOW GHATS FUCKING BASIC AND UR ROLLING UR EYES BUT LISTEN

• they have the combination of 90s rock but also more soothing calming vocals, theyd literally b perfect

• and for that reason his favorite albums r koi no yokan and saturday night wrist, also their self titled,

• would call mammon a poser for his music taste “nirvana isn’t even *real* rock idiot🙄”

• but nah, also like i said in satans fiona apple and mazzy star fan

• he’d suck so bad though he’d go on twitter and be like, “if you like deftones ur a poser” (while being their number 1 fan, fucking brat) then turn off his phone and take a nap for the funny

[millionancientbees]

Something I think a lot of ppl forget when they’re dealing with suicidal people is that a lot of us are suicidal because we can’t afford or access basic needs, let alone creature comforts.

Before sending your suicidal friend to the mental hospital to maybe be severely traumatized by even less autonomy and also potentially lose their jobs and housing, have you:

-spent time with them so they’re not alone with their thoughts and organized a care group of their friends to help take care of tasks that are overwhelming?

-made a post or group chat to raise funds for bills that are looming and making them feel like they’ll never be able to succeed at life? Tried to help connect them with resources? Offered to sit down with them while they make calls? Offered to take a look at their debt and see if it can be refinanced? Etc, based on your skills, who you know, what you have the resources and comfort and closeness with the person to allow

-taken them to do some fun things? Gotten them out of their house and into the sun?

-gotten them something sweet or comforting or good smelling or whatever? A simple $5 candle can be a reason for someone to smile and feel cared about.

-gotten them tools to manage their sensory needs? Are they over or under stimulated? I will become immediately suicidal if I hear too many sounds while hungry or tired or upset or overheated or or or

I’m not saying the hospital is never the answer. I’m not saying don’t take people who are immediately in danger. I’m not saying you have to do this for people who are behaving in a way that will hurt you. But if you care about someone who is suicidal, this is something to think about.

I have literally been suicidal for as long as I can remember (and I remember a lot of my very early childhood) and some of the small things that have legitimately kept me alive over the years include:

-my friends buying me noise canceling headphones

-my friends taking me on a vacation

-my partner letting me read out loud to them when they were playing video games every night

-my friends buying my art or sending me money to help pay bills, get my car fixed, etc

-my sister giving me rides to my doctor appointments and buying me a little treat afterwards

-my friends sharing their audible/netflix/hulu/libby accounts with me so i had something to focus on other than wanting to die

-friends taking me out to dinner and letting me talk about my special interests

-my friend giving me houseplants and teaching me how to keep them alive, which required spending quality time together whenever I needed to learn something new and gave them an excuse to bully me into leaving my depression nest when nobody else could

-my friend buying me a vape when I was breaking apart and had nothing to do with my hands and nothing to calm my very upset nervous system and $2 in the bank and also I was going through withdrawals

-my friend teaching me how to drive and helping me get my license so I could have some autonomy

Like it really can be that simple. We sometimes forget that therapy and meds can only do so much at a time, and some people get treatment for their entire lives and still struggle a lot even when they do everything right, especially when they’re dealing with complicated issues like other disabilities, chronic pain, poverty, abusive situations/ongoing trauma, etc.

[sarahvincere]

I quite like using Tumblr because there's not a lot of people here to judge or hurt me.

I can scream into the void without fear of repercussion or someone dramatically changing my words.

well today I almost got cancelled.

but like on a niche... fanartist scale. y'all know what HSR is right? so I did a drawing on my alt on TWITTER (my first mistake) with 5 followers. FIVE! i didn't think anything would happen. then it blew up. hello?? like??

anyways since it was just a quick, warmup study to my 5 followers I didn't think anything would happen, and forgot to credit the artist who's work I studied.

and so they dmed me asking for credit and for me to change my pfp a couple days ago, but I legitimately just didn't see their dm. I didn't get a notification for the dm request or anything.

then they threatened to go public with it. but again, I just hadnt seen their dm yet. and they're a big artist, okay, and this is fucking honkai star rail you KNOW the community is toxic. and it's on twitter. so it's like twice as bad.

and I keep thinking, what if I had never accidentally clicked on the dm tab? what if I hadnt seen the message on time?

I've been having a panic attack. bad, this time. just within a month or so I started getting them almost everyday. and it was exactly when I started trying to grow my twitter.

the last time I had a panic attack before this was over 5 years ago. I was a very laid back and chill person before all this. now I'm just paranoid.

and I'm so fucking scared of getting cancelled. I'm way too fucking sensitive for this shit. I'm not cut out for fame or having any eyes on me. I'm not made for this shit. I can take hate comments or insults or criticism. I don't care about any of that.

but getting cancelled fucks up me getting into a good college! and it potentially fucks up my life!! what if I get doxxed? then it's not just me but my whole FAMILY that's in danger.

another funny story is that I'm not allowed to have any social media for that exact reason. I'm not allowed to even have a fucking phone and I'm SIXTEEN. when I was younger, this used to really tick me off. but I get it now.

if I could, I would chase my dreams of being an artist without social media. I hate how much I rely on it.

I'm so tired of the internet as a whole, really. I shouldn't be fucking scared to ruin the rest of my life just because I did a study. a 20 minute warmup sketch before I started painting.

no shade to the artist that dm'd me, I get it. it's rough out here, and you need to fight for your work to be seen and appreciated. I'm not mad or anything. I understand completely.

I'm just tired of how social media makes me feel. I don't even fucking use it other than to post once a day. even THAT drains me.

[maul-of-shame]

Pretty bold of you to accuse the survey op of lying when they've been in the community long enough and isn't known to shit-stir. Not to mention that other people have come out to confirm similar things. They didn't even say that the show is at risk of cancellation but were asked their feelings on that. People just assumed the worst and ran with it. It's not unusual for studios to ask people for feedback using test screenings so why would a survey be different.

Let me clarify something because it seems like you’re putting words in my mouth here.

I never said the survey poster was lying, nor did I accuse them of “stirring shit up.”

What I did say is that there’s no solid proof to back up the claim at this time, and without evidence, I don’t think it’s fair—or productive—for the fandom to spiral into panic.

That’s not me calling anyone dishonest; it’s me being cautious and asking for actual confirmation before jumping to conclusions.

[ Also, let’s talk about that “pretty bold of you” comment. You’re coming in here as an anonymous user while making claims about my supposed boldness and accusing me of things I didn't do. If we’re discussing boldness, maybe start with showing your name. I’m standing by my words publicly; you should consider doing the same if you’re going to throw accusations my way.]

Yes, I’m aware that studios conduct surveys. I never claimed otherwise.

What I said is that without proof or direct ties to the The Rings of Power team, I don’t see why this specific claim should be taken as gospel. Point blank period.

There’s a significant difference between saying “studios do surveys” (which they do) and using that as blanket justification to assume any alleged survey is legitimate. Unless the information is coming directly from the showrunners, Amazon, or someone with verified ties to production, I’m not going to treat it as confirmed fact.

And as for “someone’s history in a fandom” being a reason to trust them—let me be clear: that’s not how credibility works.

Just because someone has been around a fandom for a long time, has built a reputation, or even contributed to its growth doesn’t automatically make them more trustworthy when it comes to claims like this. Credibility, especially for something as significant as the potential cancellation of a show, is built on verifiable facts, evidence, and transparency—not on how long someone’s been part of the community.

Let me give you an example to make this clear: imagine someone who’s been an active and well-regarded figure in the Tolkien fandom for years comes forward and says, “I heard from a friend of a friend that Amazon is canceling The Rings of Power.” Now, this person might be beloved, known for writing great metas, or organizing fandom events, but unless they provide concrete proof—such as a link to the survey, screenshots of official communication, or even a source directly tied to Amazon—their claim is still just hearsay.

No matter how much we may want to believe them, we can’t treat their word as fact until there’s something solid to back it up. It’s the same principle as with journalism or research: your reputation might get people to listen, but it’s your evidence that earns their trust.

This is why I’m emphasizing caution here.

I’m not saying the survey didn’t happen. I’m not saying the person sharing it is lying.

But until we see actual proof—such as screenshots of the survey questions, confirmation from Amazon, or corroboration from a source directly tied to production—it’s perfectly reasonable and necessary to remain skeptical. That’s not being rude or dismissive; it’s just critical thinking.

Fandom veterans, like anyone else, can misinterpret information, share things in good faith that turn out to be false, or pass along rumors they believe to be true. This isn’t about accusing anyone of malicious intent, it’s about understanding that credibility isn’t built on reputation alone, especially when we’re dealing with claims that could cause widespread panic or harm.

This is exactly why fandoms need to approach such claims carefully—because jumping to conclusions based on unverified information doesn’t help anyone. It only adds fuel to an already anxious fire.

So, if proof emerges that confirms this survey and its implications, great—we can have a conversation about what it means and what might happen next. But until that happens, I’m standing by the idea that skepticism is not only valid but necessary. It’s not about shutting anyone down or dismissing their contributions to the fandom; it’s about ensuring that we don’t lose sight of the need for concrete evidence in the middle of what feels like a snowballing storm of assumptions and fear.

I know this topic has people on edge, but we all need to take a step back and breathe. Spreading unverified claims—regardless of the source—does nothing but fuel anxiety and speculation. Until we have something concrete, preferably from the The Rings of Power team or Amazon itself, I’m going to remain cautious, and I encourage others to do the same. That’s not being dismissive or accusatory—it’s just common sense.

I also want to point out that I’ve brought up actual evidence showing why the show has very little chance of being canceled—whether it’s Jeff Bezos’s personal investment in the project, the existing long-term production plans, or the financial backing Amazon has already poured into the series. These points are grounded in verifiable facts, not speculation.

Judging by the tone of your message, it seems you didn’t take the time to read my response fully or consider the points I raised.

Instead, it looks like you only glanced at the intro, made an assumption about my stance, and ran with it. That’s fine—we all skim things sometimes—but let’s be clear: my argument isn’t based on dismissing the survey’s existence outright or accusing anyone of lying. My point is that until concrete proof is provided, it’s perfectly reasonable to remain skeptical and weigh it against the overwhelming evidence that the show is very unlikely to be canceled anytime soon.

So, before putting words in my mouth, I’d recommend giving my full message a careful read. It’s not about disregarding anyone’s perspective or contributions to the fandom. It’s about grounding discussions in evidence and not letting fears spiral unchecked. This helps us all stay informed, calm, and focused on what we know to be true rather than feeding into unverified claims.

[foxxology]

Not that anon, like not at all istg, and you don't gotta reply to this bc Im too old for fandom drama and have no beef w you (but do want to see the actual anon's response. Im nosy, sorry)

But I feel like they're probably referring to that one artist that got into a ton of drama for being proship, doing weird art of pairings (as in, age up/down characters to where one is an adult and the other is underage, super into noncon, that sorta stuff), did nsfw of hermitcraft + adjacents, then ended up kinda vanishing after idk what. I don't have twt so no clue what went down there, but have seen their art in some tags under a different acc so ik they're still around

I only vaguely remember this bc if Im not wrong, you defended them at the start cuz they were getting cancelled for smth else, then it became a shitstorm when people went looking for shit and... I think was the reason you distanced/left the fandom? either way don't blame you bc I also followed them and didn't really know anything about it until way later on, which is when I just unfollowed + blocked (both past + current acc)

so if they chicken out and don't give an answer, this would probably be my guess as to what they meant?

that would be genuinely ridiculous if ppl want to call me an "apologist" for saying "even the bad people dont deserve death threats and doxxing" then i guess thats your prerogative

when things started i wasnt aware of the full extent, so i still extended my sympathy for the things they were going through (death threats, doxxing, etc). when i finally found out the full scope of their actions and behaviours i cut them out of my life. i still stand by the message that nobody deserves legitimate threats of IRL violence

[kittenintheden]

Writer Interview Game

hee fun, thank you for the tag, @eraserspiral!

When did you start writing?

blah blah blah been writing stories since I was a kid blah but honestly I'd say I legitimately developed an interest in writing fiction when I was around 13. you'll never guess this but I was on the jr high literary magazine and I wrote a sweet lil 13yo romance story where a marine biologist verbally abuses a dude who hits a dolphin with his boat and then he gets them both to the emergency vet and then it turns into a meet-cute. I used the word "dumbass" in the story and my teaching advisor let it slide and it was published with the swear intact. it was a whole thing.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I read all kinds of things I don't especially want to write. a lot of nonfiction and investigative journalism, memoirs, literary classics a la Virginia Woolf. no interest whatsoever in writing it but it's good reading.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

there isn't like a specific writer I aspire to write like, but I have historically been compared to Neil Gaiman, which is very flattering. mostly I admire the writing chops of Laini Taylor for her beautiful lyrical imagery and dreamlike framing, Carmen Maria Machado for the way she blends horror elements with life, queerness and emotion, Christopher Moore for his incredible humor writing, and (surprise) Neil Gaiman for his approach to speculative fiction that feels so accessible and tied to the real world. like you could turn over a rock and find an entire magical world you never knew was there.

I don't necessarily want to EMULATE them but I have been influenced by them, for sure.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I write on a laptop curled up in the corner of my couch with noise-cancelling headphones on and am frequently interrupted by pets, a spouse, or children. which is why I tend to write late at night.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

sit my ass down and start typing. like I know that is not romantic or fun but part of writing is that I have to get into my flow state, and I can't do that by dicking around doing stuff that isn't writing. it can be really, really hard. sometimes it'll feel like shit. but I do it anyway.

something that helps me a lot is putting on the headphones and listening to mood music or a dialogue video to kind of kickstart my brain into the creative space.

I also do a weed. doing a weed relaxes my inner critic. sometimes.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

sibling relationships tend to feature prominently. I have several siblings and sibling dynamics are fascinating to me. there also tend to be themes of self-sacrifice, choosing love (romantic or platonic), and messy but ride-or-die style friendships.

What is your reason for writing?

I feel compelled to put the movies playing in my head to the page. it brings me joy to transcribe my weird ideas and give them form.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

when people tell me they've come back to reread something I wrote because it stuck with them. that's like. wow. what a feeling. what a motivator.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I try not to think about how other people think about me if I can help it, which I often can't, lol. but mostly I hope readers (and people in general) think of me as someone who tells emotionally resonant stories that make them smile or laugh.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

dialogue. expressing an emotion succinctly on the page.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I'm in a pretty good place about it these days. I write both professionally and for fun, and what I do in this space is my fun time. I can let go, be experimental and weird, not overanalyze every single word, and make something for/with a community that I really enjoy.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

a mix of both, I guess? mostly for myself, honestly. I write the things I would enjoy reading. I write the smut I would find hot. I write the jokes that make me laugh. but I also love giving little winks to readers and letting them know that they're part of the experience, too.

no pressure tags: @shewhowas39 @spacebarbarianweird @ghostfire @brain-rot-central @brabblesblog

[rival-the-rose]

So, last week, just before my birthday, I developed dysphagia, gastroparesis, and ileus due to a weird viral infection (came with a fever and sinus inflammation but nothing else). In layman's terms, this basically means all of the muscles in my entire GI tract have stopped working - esophagus is not moving food to the stomach, stomach is not opening to allow food nor is it opening to release food, and my intestines are not moving things along, just being inflamed and full of gas.

This is obviously deeply uncomfortable, I have been on a liquid diet and barely reaching BMR, on top of being dehydrated bc plain water causes a lot of pain (adding a neutral-basic substance to high acid environment=bad).

On top of that, I am not a layman, and therefore I know that generally this suite of symptoms are associated with the Big Bad Diagnoses and once they show up they are frequently lifelong and not infrequently fatal. I also know that my history and symptoms don't match any of the Big Bads and it's more likely a weirdly dramatic response to viral inflammation, and I think we confirmed that with my doctor today. She's an osteopath who used to specialize in post-GI surgical care and felt that my intestines responded to manipulation in a way that was more similar to inflamed intestines than intestines that are no longer enervated. I would tend to agree and also she relieved so much pain today, I can take deep breaths again.

However, she hasn't seen or heard of this before. She expects that if there's no active damage being done, the inflammation should be mostly resolved in a week or two, but that's based on physiological knowledge rather than specific disease etiology.

So I'm having a lot of emotions. Anxiety, bc these are serious issues that I don't have a solid timeline on resolving. Anxiety 2, bc any time my body does something weird I become paralyzed with fear that this is going to spiral into profound disability again. Shame about Anxiety 2 bc I feel like I'm being dramatic and also being paralyzed with fear makes me feel bad about myself. Concerned that this is going to trigger an eating disorder relapse. Excited that I get to relapse "legitimately" and the fact that I've been on half rations for awhile is relieving the thoughts around how much weight I've gained since getting back from Vermont. Concerned bc I'm already feeling some of the emotional effects of calorie restriction (weepy+fussy) and physical (so tired.) Shame bc I feel like I should be done being sick and I'm tired of cancelling things I really want to do and also bc I look fine and I do feel ok as long as I haven't eaten recently. So I feel like I'm letting ppl down for no reason/I should be toughing it out more. ???Bad bc this is the eating disorder dream and why can't I be functional while doing it (aka being confronted with the reality that I can't indulge my disorder in a safe way which is so scary). Fussy bc I don't actually feel sick so I still want to do things but then I do and I'm uncomfortable/tired/frustrated immediately. Shame about just lying on the couch so much. Fear bc I want to start T and I'm in the process of applying to vet school and I can't do either of those things if I keep having organ systems shutting down (I really thought my lungs were doing better but they're apparently still not deflating appropriately).

Logically I can see that if someone told me they had these symptoms I would be like "why are you not in a hospital" (as long as I can keep up on calories and liquid reasonably it's not necessary). But I'm the one experiencing it and it's not that bad so why can't I do more stuff. Even though I worked full time this week and went to a doctor appointment today and OT yesterday. But I cancelled hanging out with my bestie on her birthday today so I feel really bad about that.

Idk. I just want to feel better. Except for the part of me that wants to starve to death. I'd say that's the core of the issue lol.

[dizzydennis]

I need to get this off my chest.

I’ve been vocal about the IDW/Ian Flynn haters in the past. In fact, they’re the entire reason why I mostly left this platform. But it never ends. Whether it’s on tumblr or twitter or even in twitch chats, it never ends!

Don’t you get tired? Just go somewhere else? Just ignore the comics. The argument always comes up of “We can’t ignore it, they’ll ruining Sonic.” You can. You absolutely can!

I very much hate the Animal Crossing series now despite having liked it in the past. You don’t see me constantly writing essays about how bad it is. You don’t see me hating on every bit of news that comes out with it.

Comic books are a monthly narrative. They’re a medium very different from video games. I understand that people want Sonic to be a particular way. I do too, if I’m being honest. But I’m also aware that it’s a different interpretation as has been Archie Sonic, Movie Sonic, Fleetway Sonic, X Sonic, Underground Sonic, and so on. Sonic always changes based on the medium and interpretation. Heck, he changes between games. Sonic being “chatty” in the comics is a different interpretation and part of the entire medium of comic books. It’s how reading works.

I’m not going to claim that IDW or Ian Flynn are perfect. Is Sonic too morally righteous in the comics? Yes. Is Shadow written as an edgelord and against his growth from the game canon? Yes. Does Eggman lacking any back-up plans seem idiotic? Yes. Have the stories gotten a bit too repetitive with them constantly going to the Eggperial City? Yes. Is this something worth exploding over every month? NO!

All media is going to have things that aren’t perfect. You’re allowed to dislike it, but where is the line drawn in how much you need to vent about it?

The reason I want to write this post is how the “opinions” against the comics and Flynn have gotten to this unavoidable, venomous point. I’ve seen haters say how they’re excited to see the IDW sales fall so the comics eventually get canceled. How they want to take this particular faction of the Sonic fandom and dissolve it. I ask this genuinely: What is wrong with you!? Just because you dislike a particular part of a series means you want it destroyed even for those who enjoy it? Grow up. It’s selfish, mean, and just not what fandom is supposed to be about. The insults, the name-calling, the mob mentality, and everything coming out of this negative side of the fandom is really, really gross.

I’ve seen many haters always say that there are IDW-lovers who have also bullied, name-called, and even sent death threats. Now, I have never seen these myself besides retaliating against the haters who go too far. But I have never ever seen death threats over this (it could have been to previous writers and I may be mistaken). Now, I am stating it right here that just because I didn’t see these posts doesn’t mean they don’t exist. If they do, I obviously do not condone that behavior. It is awful! But I also see the haters bringing up these examples to justify any action they take. I’ve lost track of how many times it’s been brought up. First off, you know (if the posts do exist) that it’s a couple of bad apples amongst plenty of normal fans. But it’s brought up so often that I wonder... is it still a legitimate justification for how you’re acting? Even if it was one bad post, how much mileage can you get out of that? Does it still legitimize how you’ve been currently talking about others? Does it make your bullying fair? Your words do hurt and they do get to the ears of those you’re talking about.

And about Ian Flynn. You all need to stop. No, Ian Flynn is not perfect. No, I don’t think his Bumblekast things help a lot; in fact, it muddies a lot of the waters. But it’s a stupid podcast on the side... just ignore it. You do that with what’s actually written in the comic already. However you feel about him, Ian Flynn has contributed a lot to Sonic through Archie, IDW, and the games.

But there’s such a hatred for anything Ian Flynn puts his name on. I have a former friend who hated Sonic Frontiers before it came out simply because Ian Flynn was attached to it. The moment they heard he was the head writer, they wrote the game off. I am 100% sure that no matter how Frontiers or the story within it turned out, they would have disliked it. Just because Ian Flynn was in the end credits. The insults thrown at Ian Flynn, the artists, and writers of the IDW comics are inexcusable. If he has two characters even share a panel, you call it shipbaiting. If two female characters have a fight, you claim it’s written by a sexist man. If a villain is killed off-screen or turns out to be alive, you complain. This last point is exactly how a monthly, serialized story works. I don’t know if you’re unfamiliar with comic books outside of Sonic, but this is how the medium just is. Said villain gets killed and you shout foul about how the one “queer” character was killed. How the writers are homophobic for “leading readers on” and then killing him. There have been racists posts about the fandom praising Flynn over Japanese writers. You make posts ranting and raving how Nite and Don being a gay couple is bad because they’re “nothing characters” and then you post about how Don abandoned Nite... despite the fact that literally ONE PAGE LATER, he comes back to essentially die with his boyfriend.

It makes me wonder if the haters actually READ the comics or if they scan, decide they don’t like something, and then get angry. Sonic is a comic series under mandates and rules, especially after everything that went down with Archie. No, I’m not saying these mandates are excuses for poor characterization or writing, but it does somewhat explain why certain characters are handled in certain ways. The IDW comic writers are people with the freedom to take the characters in certain directions. That’s all. They’re creators working hard.

The defenses you all set up to lean back on Pontac and Graff is also bewildering. Now, if you love the “Meta Era” of games then that’s totally fine. I honestly don’t care which games you like. But retroactively praising the writing of games like Sonic Lost World and Sonic Forces is odd. Yes, Pontac and Graff are human beings and don’t deserve the massive hate and mistreatment they’ve been dealt. But their work is rightfully criticized. We went through over a decade of poor writing and canon being completely screwed up. But some of you will defend them because Eggman said he’d strangle a zeti or that the way he said the sun would crush the heroes justified so much in Forces. Why are you willing to die on this hill? For four games? For four games that have objectively more lighthearted and cookie cutter plots?

I’m not perfect in this. For a while, when Sonic Forces came out. I would make post after post about it. After a couple of months, I realized that I simply hated the game and I was harming the experience of people who liked it. I made an apology and I stopped. I still hate Sonic Forces. It’s still my most hated Sonic game, but you don’t see me reacting to the Infinite mini figure getting announced by making weeks of posts saying how badly he was written.

Just get over it. Move on. Stop hating on the aspects of a thing you’re supposed to be a fan of. Aren’t you miserable? Sonic the Hedgehog has been such a positive influence on my life. Sonic has inspired me, gotten me through bad times, and has introduced me to some of the best people I have ever met.

Why stick around and constantly surround yourself with such negativity? Again, I don’t hang around Animal Crossing things anymore and I’m personally better off for it. You’re in a fandom, but are you even fans anymore? You’ll hate everything that comes out simply because a particular writer is attached or because you’ve decided the comics have betrayed your headcanons. It’s gotten to the point where the IDW Haters really have become a joke. People see what you’re saying and it’s affecting the perception of the fandom. Moreover, you’re actively ruining the experience for fans around you and are voicing that you hope it fails.

That’s not what being part of a fandom is about. I am so, so, so tired of seeing negativity about the comics and Ian Flynn. Again, honest opinions are fine and I want people to feel how they feel. Their feelings should be valid. But having your opinions and becoming toxic to the point that you’re notorious for it... is just too much.

I love Sonic as I am sure many other fans do. Hell, there’s definitely love for Sonic with the IDW-haters as well; you wouldn’t feel so passionately about the blue blur if you didn’t care. But just take some perspective and realize what this is doing.

I had a good friend once who I thought would be somebody I could always relate to for good and bad. This friend would get angry if I didn’t agree to certain comments about Dr. Eggman and would be upset if I didn’t reply in a certain way to certain posts. It was like walking on egg shells. It came to a point where I needed to separate myself from that person. They became constantly toxic about all things modern Sonic. It made me feel depressed and guilty just to enjoy the series that I love. Toxicity is something that just corrodes you to the pit of your soul if it goes too deep. I miss this friend, but I don’t think I can ever truly be friends with them that way again. It affects me so often to this day.

Please, feel how you feel about Sonic comics, movies, games, whatever. Just realize how much your distaste for something is affecting you, your friendships, and others. I can’t stand this kind of drama anymore. I just want to love Sonic and want people to love Sonic as well. That’s what fandom is supposed to be about.

[skaruresonic]

The idw discourse is so bad, I feel caught in the middle because each time I express how bad the storytelling is, in a new issue or how off model the characters are drawn, idw fans gang up on me. But on the other hand I don't want to be associated with the people who think think it's funny to tweet how Flynn should die or make weird assumptions about Stanley being a bad person ? Like that's weird and cruel. Hate their work not them as people.

I just decided to pretend the comic doesn't exist and it helps lol.

I'm sorry that happened to you. Idk if anyone else will tell you that, but I will, because I know how much it sucks.

One time, I saw a guy on Twitter blame us for his inability to criticize the book in what he believed was a much more "balanced" manner without getting harassed by people.

Digest that for a moment. It's our fault for other people's reaction to us. And instead of rubbing his brain cells together for a moment and questioning the reasons why this knee-jerk reaction occurs, or even reflecting on the fact that it occurs at all and perhaps realizing that the call is coming from inside the house, he fell back on old biases and decided it was the haters who were wrong.

The mental gymnastics on display here are unreal.

In this case, I think people are stumbling into the usual fallacious trap of assuming both sides carry equal weight, and thus believe that defaulting to a position of "neutrality" makes them morally superior somehow.

That's kind of what I hate about this fandom - the utter superciliousness. The rotten shit we as a fandom get up to (and no, being a little snarky in a reblog does not count as harassment) while proclaiming love and light uwu. Be nice to everyone, except those freaks over there.

"Neutrality" is in scare quotes here because it's not true neutrality, but a way of posturing to the in-group that you're not Like Us. As demonstrated by my Twitter-user anecdote, people around here don't want to say anything hater-flavored because it risks intense ostracization. That's why you have people jumping down your throat for presenting even mild criticisms. It'd be pathetic if it weren't so annoying.

I'm not talking about people who let well enough alone. I'm talking about centrists who sneer "both sides are bad," as if by distancing themselves from the situation in a smug manner, they're declaring themselves more enlightened than the rest of us.

Honestly, the other side should be just as insulted, but they're not, because this attitude only helps them in the long run.

In reality, this is more like the fishhook situation centrists have with antis vs. proshippers. Saying "this whole thing is stupid" really only benefits antis because they now have grounds to reply, "Yes, this IS stupid, don't you think proshippers are crazy for being upset at something so trivial?" while conveniently omitting the part where antis routinely send proshippers death threats and other heinous material.

Look at it from this angle: the most concrete harm I have seen their side say they've suffered is a deep discomfort and estrangement from the book. Which, yeah. That sucks. But it's also kinda on you to just click away if it makes you uncomfortable.

On the other hand, I have had legitimate crying fits because of horrible messages I received and have told people multiple times about the anon who mocked my recently-deceased mom. Which, unlike clicking away from a blog, I had no choice but to see sometimes because I was still naive enough to believe people would behave themselves in my inbox. In fact, a mutual were recently discussing our anxieties over retaliation should IDW be cancelled. There's stuff about this that you just don't want to think about because dwelling on it will freak you out.

"Both sides are bad" stings, especially in light of knowing the measures I have taken to walk on eggshells and draw proper boundaries. I literally cannot know if someone in this fandom will consider my explanations harassment and dogpiling, so I try not to reblog with commentary. On the reblogging site.

Reflect on how fucked-up that is, to feel uncomfortable adding a tag to someone's fanart because you're worried they might realize you're One of Them(tm) and shun you on that basis alone.

I won't sit here and say I've always been perfect in my conduct, but at the same time, it's just the infuriating experience of double standards all the way down. Somehow it never occurs to them that if I held them to the same standard they hold me, I could call them all out on intellectual dishonesty for refusing to engage with any of our points no matter how calmly or clearly stated because "lol ur just a hater," and tar them with the same brush as those who sent me death threats.

But ofc, things don't work out like that in the calculus of Le Sonic Discourse. It's just a rotten experience to the core.

[utilitycaster]

This feels like a weird thing to ask someone but I greatly respect your ability to speak your honest critical opinion (and in such well spoken terms) in an internet atmosphere where you can get crucified for saying anything less than full-throated praise--and that's exactly my issue. I run a small, fandom-oriented Youtube channel and despite knowing that I'm entitled to critical opinions, that I don't even want the attention of delusional reactionaries anyway, etc etc I'm finding it incredibly difficult to share what I really think of some shows + aspects of fandom and shipping. I've become weirdly terrified of saying one perfectly logical thing that does not align with the elaborate fantasy some people have built in their heads and getting canceled/losing the small base of followers I've managed to cobble together. The real nightmare is sharing something harmless like a shipping opinion and having purity culture come for me and call me a p*dophile for absolutely no reason. But at the same time I feel like a spineless coward for letting the toxic side of fandom win by scaring me into silence, especially when one of my goals for the channel from the beginning was to create a place where level headed critical opinion could be shared without fear of gross overreaction and slander. So I guess my questions are: is it as easy for you to speak honestly as it seems? Have you ever flinched before? Is it just about not caring what irrational people think or is there something else to it I'm missing? Sometimes it feels like my fears are valid and sometimes it feels like I just need to grow a backbone and get over it already.

Hey anon,

So I think there is one really big factor here: I am posting anonymously and facelessly and I don’t mind if I alienate people on the basis of an opinion I genuinely hold. If you’re actively trying to build a following and/or if you’ve made yourself identifiable, then I do in fact understand holding back more for reasons of trying to keep that following, or for reasons of personal safety.

But yeah: it’s mostly just that strangers who send anon hate don’t know jack shit about my life or me as a person; they just see an opinion that, as you said, challenges the elaborate fantasy in their head and attack the person who said it. I have, genuinely, been told things that I know for myself to be demonstrably false about my life (not even opinions about me I reject - demonstrably false things) by people who are ultimately just mad that I don’t like their characters or ships. I would obviously feel terrible if a person I knew in real life accused me of something terrible, and I’d still feel bad if it were someone I interacted with online with any sort of regularity, but someone hiding behind complete anonymity? They’re not calling me names because they genuinely think I’m bigoted. They’re calling me names because they are willing to use tools to try to drag me down because they cannot accept I don’t feel the same way they do about a character. They’re like when conservatives claim that denying service to queer people is religious freedom - they are using what appears to be a legitimate appeal to ostensible shared values, but really they’re exploiting the system and people's desire to take things in good faith because they can't stand not getting their way.

The other thing, and I recognize how much I sound like my parents here, is that your bullies are thinking about you more than you think about them. Anyone who sends hate desperately wants you to agree with them. Show them you are not thinking of them.

And finally, some of the hate I’ve gotten has genuinely been about the most anodyne things, which ironically helps because once you realize that no matter how bland an opinion is, some asshole will foam at the mouth about it.  Like, again, I definitely talk plenty of shit about ships or characters or choices I don’t like, but I got some wildly out of pocket shit from people who apparently could not tolerate the completely random example I used to illustrate a fairly uncontroversial and popular opinion re: ship tagging on ao3. And once something like that happens you realize that there’s no point in avoiding the spicier stuff.

I don’t know if this helps, and I recognize that I happen to have a particularly contrarian and not remotely conflict-averse personality. I respect the many people who are not willing to put up with hate and I don’t blame you if you’re one of them; at points in my life I have not been in a place to put up with it and was much less outspoken. But in the end, the thing about people who harass you is that they care so, so much about you agreeing with them, and if you tell them a flat firm no while also making it clear you don’t give a shit if they ever agree with you, they do tend to eventually give up upon realizing how one-sided their obsession is.

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

I will say having played Persona 4, having sit down and played Persona 4 with my human body and human mind, I'm legitimately surprised at how popular it is with people on tumblr. This isn't me trying to cancel it or anything, there is still a lot I like about Persona 4 personally, but I just want to make my opinion on the game really clear.

This game is really, really fucking mean, often time for basically no reason. This game has I think about three or four characters who they continually re-use in order to make incredibly mean jokes about, and that includes Kanji for a significant chunk of the story. The game will often, and quite gleefully, be fatphobic, sexist, misogynistic, and homophobic for the sake of a bit.

The worst part about it is that none of this is remotely necessary. You do not need Yosuke panicking about Kanji sexually assaulting them in their sleep, you don't need the awful jokes about the fat girl in class, you do not need the obvious Christmas Cake joke teacher who feels sexually threatened by Rise (ew ew ew ew EW EW EW EW i would take literally everything in P5 over this). None of it adds anything to the characters. It TAKES away from one of the characters. There's a good narrative core to P4, there's a good and compelling mystery here, but its being surrounded by the complete and utter refuse that is the writing team's idea of what humor is.

This is a game I think legitimately needs to come with content warnings, compared to P5.

[whereserpentswalk]

Capitalism's narrative of eternal security

Sometimes I think about people who, in 2023, still make covid the main part of their politics. Like people who legitimately want full lockdowns to have been constant for the past three years. It feels like they're still stuck in 2020, like, looking at their posts, their weird shrinking subreddit, makes me feel strangely nostalgic. There's a point where it goes from a coherent ideology (because I think we understand by now that there's not going to be some magic event to make covid go away) to something closer to "the world is terrible and people suffer, so any happiness is morally wrong".

I feel like there's a deeply conservative trend to want to regulate the world into something completely safe. It goes back to 9/11, both in the very tangible things like the no-fly list, and the narrative people had around it. I don't know this for a fact because it predated my birth, but there were people who wanted to cancel Halloween that year, or asked if there would ever be comedy again, after the attack, which isn't logical, but is the type of thing that makes sense to a traumatized brain. This idea that society must be regulated by an overarching authority to keep everyone safe, the idea that everyone's ability to live their life is secondary to a vague idea of security.

Even the idea that a group is unsafe is the core emotion behind a lot of bigotry. It's a big reason why a lot of people want closed borders, it's why a lot of people want to regulate the rights of trans people, it's created a type of policing that disproportionately hurts poor people, poc, and the homeless, its why mentally ill people have basically no rights in this country. There's this idea that the freedom, and often even the life of marginalized people, is limited by standards of public safety. Even going back to covid, the idea that no harm done by covid was acceptable is based on the idea that harm and death from unemployment, abuse, and mental health issues are acceptable. So much of humanity is more confident that we can abolish nature then that we can abolish capitalism.

We always present safety like it's this trolly problem every society must grapple with, with no easy answer. But once you realize it's the freedom of the marginalized, and the safety (or often just the feeling of safety) of the privileged.

In a way the entire system of capitalism is just forcing people to give up their freedom for safety from things capitalism caused. And when people make fortunes off of making people sell their freedom for safety, they end up really hating when you want to abolish the danger they profit off of, rather than just passively "protecting people" from it.

I don't think I'm wording everything well. But I think it's something to think about. I feel like the prime emotion behind conservativism for the average person isn't hatred but fear. And fear isn't rational, it's why it's hard to use rational arguments for any of this. When someone says something like "we need to regulate trans healthcare to prevent any cis children from being harmed" it's hard to defeat that with pure numbers, statistics are only calming to people who want to be calmed by them, you could mention that it's harming trans people to regulate these, but that doesn't help because their fear narrative is about cishet children having their status as socially conforming taken from them, not about trans people being tangibly harmed. The only real way to refute this line of thinking (especially as it starts to infect our own communities on the left, and not just outside ones) is to break the narrative that there's some amount of nebulose harm that takes away our rights. There's a reason why deaths under capitalism aren't a concern for the type of people who say our society should prioritize safety, it's more about

An airport with strip searches would be safter from terrorism. A world where lockdown was a permanent policy for the rest of the foreseeable future would have less people harmed by illness. A world where people were chemically castrated until marriage would have almost no sexual assault. For the most part we reject these worlds, even if they're safer we've decided that there are reasons why we don't want this level of safety if it means being subject to certain conditions. And we can extend that to more radical things too, we can say that we don't care if the world is safter with cops, we still don't want cops to exist. We can say we don't care if the world is safter with borders, we still don't want borders to exist. We can reject more narratives of fear. And that includes ones we see popping up in our own communities.

God this post was long, and I didn't even mention ecofascists being a thing, or the leftist argument against gun control. Maybe next time.