#I think it’s funny that this one out of all my incorrect quotes is taking off but hey I’m glad y’all like it lol

[purpleknight9k]

Donnie: No one wants to hear my opinion. Which is why I am not EXPRESSING AN OPINION, I am STATING A FACT.

[muletia]

knock out is my fave decepticon and i really like ratchet so i loved your post about their "rivalry" but it was also just really funny like? the loud incorrect buzzer noise. the scare quotes implying that ratchet literally does not see knock out as qualified to be a medic. knock out ranting at whoever he's operating on about his relationship issues. ratchet refusing to let knock out escalate things by avoiding his attempts to kill him and (i'm assuming) probably only escalating things more by doing so. it's a ridiculous situation for you to be in and a different type of exhausting than dealing with megatron and optimus (in part because it's not really reciprocal the way those two are). but even if it isn't from your point of view because you have to put up with it, it is still objectively funny.

yeah, the whole conflict is exsist solely because of knockout who creates his own problems because he’s so desperate to keep you all to himself and his ego is literally the size of the sun. he completely misses the simple fact that ratchet has the upper hand: he doesn’t invade your personal space, cares about your health, and knows how to keep his hands to himself (unless he’s on synth-en, but that’s for another story). knockout focuses solely on the idea that the enemy medic is a threat, that he’s getting in the way of exploiting your attention. i think that during every encounter with the autobots, he’ll be scanning for ratchet, and if he doesn’t find him (because he won’t), he’ll ask them to pass on a message—one the team definitely can’t repeat around kids. but aside from indirect exchanges, it’ll be a while before there’s any direct contact between them, because ratchet doesn’t have the energy or desire to get into reckless fights. he’d much rather dedicate all his energy to taking care of you <3

[skylarsblue]

★RDR2 Incorrect Quotes★

(If you see duplicates from my COD version of these? Shh, no you didn't) ★Border made by @fairytopea★

Ms.Grimshaw What are you doing, you oaf? Young!Arthur, staring at Y/N: They’re pretty. Ms.Grimshaw …and you’re ugly, now get back to work.

- (Pre-joining the gang) Abigail, trying to get paid: What’s your favorite color, John? John: Blue. No, green. Abigail: Awesome! I love learning about you. John: I fucked up, it’s yellow.

- Arthur, cutting a huge knot out of John’s hair: I fucked up, we gotta go bald. *head locks him still* Young!John, flailing violently: WAAAAAHHHH-

Seán: Psst, Lenny, ay mate, wake up! Lenny: Huh- Wh-what? What is it? Seán: I heard something outside the tent. Lenny: What? Seán: Like a woman crying in the distance, but I couldn’t hear her footsteps. Lenny: Okay?? What do you want me to do? Seán: Come look with me! Lenny: Hell no! Seán: Why not? Lenny: I got too much melanin and too much sense for that white people shit. You wanna let demons get you, be my guest, leave me out of it.

- (John HAD to have SOMETHING that captivated her, for humor’s sake? We’ll say he had jokes)

Abigail: You have to find my darling husband, I’m so worried about him. Arthur: Seriously, what do you see in that guy? Abigail: He makes me laugh.

- Micha: I've got the urge to say something. Arthur: And what's that? Micha: The N-Word- Arthur: WHOA-

- Bill: But seriously, is it your whole emo thing that she’s into or what? John: …yeah, long flowing straight hair, very emo.

- Karen: This- Hmm. Tilly: Be nice. Karen: I’m findin’ it. Mary-Beth: …it takes you that long to find- Karen: It does, it does.

- (O’Driscoll troubles) Kieran: Arthur we’re going to get murdered. We’re going to get murdered by a man who can’t tie a fucking bow tie. Arthur: At least he won’t torture us, can’t tie a rope either.

- John: Ugh, you know they’re gonna make us do one of those tacky family happiness photos that comes in the restaurants shitty frame. Tilly: Why are you so fucking negative all the time? John: Wh- uh- I just- Arthur: *slowly sucks tea through straw*

- Seán: Someone just said; “You’re a criminal!” Seán: *handkerchief on, gun in one hand, bag of money in the other* Seán: Well I’ll tell ya what, Sherlock Holmes. You are unbelievable.

- The Gang: Arthur is dying and Micha is a rat! Dutch, dancing with money: *insert that audio that goes “I don’t give a fuck cause I’m a ✨millionaire✨, I do what I want, middle finger in the air!”*

- John, drunk: You think the wind is ever tryna tell us something and we don’t know how to hear it anymore? Charles, loading up a drunk Arthur into a wagon: I just want you to stop saying odd shit.

- Abigail: If we lose, I’m gonna cut the judge. John: Wh- you brought your switchblade?? Abigail: Mhm. John: But they patted us down on the way in, where did you hide i- ohhhhhhh.

- Arthur: …you ever wish you could just, turn into a bird and fly away from everything? Charles: I think we need to get you to a therapist for depression. John: I’d wanna be a wolf. Charles: And we should get you psych evaluation for Autism.

- Sheriff: You seem like a reasonable and good natured person. Arthur: *looks around* And you look like you need glasses.

- Abigail: What would your father say?! Jack: Uhhh “I’ll fix it!” And then make it worse until luck comes around and makes it work, and then act like that was the plan the whole time? Abigail: …that’s my bad, I should’ve used a different phrase to express my disappointment.

- (I dunno why but John being super mean to some people is so fucking funny to me. I don't hate Bill, but bullying him is fun)

Bill: You enjoyin’ the wife everyone else paid to have? John: You mean the woman I never had to pay for? The woman who liked me so much, she didn’t ask for any money to sleep with me? In fact; she liked me so much, she married me? The woman who makes me a warm dinner and kisses me everyday? Mother of my child? John: I am enjoyin’ yeah. What about you, Bill? Bill: John: You enjoyin’ your lonely life, you unlovable sorry sack of shit? You enjoyin’ having to pay for someone to pretend they like you? Cause they never actually do. They hate you actually, like me. I hate you. Eat shit and die, Bill.

- Arthur: …him? Really? Mary-Beth Don’t be mean! Arthur: He looks like a rescue dog, Mary-Beth. Mary-Beth: I know, I like that! Arthur: ….you like that?? Mary-Beth: His pathetic wet eyes and general wimpy stature have captivated me. Arthur: *sigh* Whatever makes you happy.

- Bill: At the end of the day, Arthur. I am a MAN. Arthur: A MAN WHO’S GAY. You like fellers GETTHATTHROUGHYOURHEAD!

- Dutch: I have a plan. Hosea: You haven’t planned shit. Dutch: I’ve planned it.

- Hosea: Arthur! What on earth are you doing?! Young!Arthur: Getting rid of this demon. Young!John: *screeching and trying to get out of Arthur’s grip* Hosea: And why do you plan to get rid of him? Arthur: Because, Hosea! He woke me up by leaning over me and whispering, “I know what death feels like, it’s cold. Have you felt death?” Arthur: HE’S CLEARLY EVIL, HOSEA Hosea: That’s just how children are, Arthur. Dutch: He’s right son, put the boy down. Dutch, leaning and whispering to Hosea: But maybe we should buy a Bible just in case. Hosea: And a cross.

- (Modern au and suicide joke)

John: It’s not a phase! It’s a lifestyle, you just wouldn’t get it! Arthur: You think I didn’t go through the “I can’t tell if I want to kill myself or everyone around me” phase? Come on. John: What? I don’t wanna kill myself at all. Arthur: … John: … John: Should I- should we go talk to Hose- Arthur: We should forget this conversation happened. Take this Nirvana CD and keep your mouth shut.

- Abigail: …John. John: Yes, my angel? Abigail: You forgot something. John: No I didn’t! I took the list with me, checked it three times, even crossed things off when I put it in the cart! See, look. Apples, frozen hamhocks, cranberry juice- Abigail: John. You took Jack with you. John: Abigail: John: Abigail: John: SHIT I LEFT HIM BY THE PASTA SECTION Abigail: STOP STANDING THERE AND GO GET HIM!

- Jack: Pa, how did you get mom to marry you? John: Well son, I- John: John: I have no idea. Jack: Should I ask mom? John: I’ll be honest, I don’t think she knows the answer either.

- Charles: You did good back there. Arthur: Oh? Heh, nah, you did all the fancy stuff. I just helped. Charles: Don’t undersell yourself, Arthur. I wouldn’t be complimenting you for no reason. Arthur: Oh yeah? And here I thought you were just trying to fluff up my ego. Charles: Wouldn’t hurt to do when you work so hard, no? Arthur: Now you’re just being’ sweet- John: Can y’all wait til we’re done before you start your spiritual dick sucking? Arthur: Can you repent to the lord fast enough to save your soul in the time it’ll take me to throw you into the damn ocean, Marston?!

- Arthur: Do you even have a brain? John: Do you even have someone that loves you? Arthur: John: John: I heard it that time, I’m sorry. Arthur: This is what Abigail hears sometimes, just so you know. John: I heard it that time, I got it. I- I’ll just- Arthur: Whiskey, full bottle. The nice kind. John: Apology alcohol, got it.

-

NPC: My husband’s parents are so crazy. In-laws always are, huh? Abigail: Well, uh-

*John being an orphan* *John’s adoptive dads being criminals, one particularly off his rocker*

Abigail: ….aha, yeah;;

- Abigail: John Marston, you useless, foolish, stupid man! Bill: To hell with John! Abigail, suddenly with a very large gun: NO ONE INSULTS MY HUSBAND.

- Arthur, holding up a proper painting he actually put time and effort into: Could a depressed person make this? Charles: The painting: *a wolf in the rain laying it’s head over the body of a deer shot with an arrow* Charles: I’m, in fact, more convinced you have depression now. Arthur: …yeah this wasn’t the best evidence for my argument, huh? Charles: No. Not at all.

- John: What are you talking about? That’s completely normal, it’s like having opinions. just cause it doesn’t happen to you doesn’t mean- Tilly: No, John! No. It’s not normal to have that reaction to the sound of hearing metal on metal. John: No look, uh- Arthur! Arthur come here! Arthur: What now? John: What happens when you hear metal on metal? Like, a can bein’ rubbed with a knife. Arthur: Ugh, I hate that sound. It makes my damn skin crawl, like I got beetles underneath. Makes me wanna skin myself to get’em out. John: Right! See, Tilly? It’s not just me! Tilly: ????

Charles: …and you never got them evaluated? Hosea: In hindsight, an autistic diagnosis probably would’ve made more things make sense. But, what can ya do.

- Arthur after a dog didn’t positively react to him: Maybe this is my final straw. Charles: No. Arthur: It might be. Charles: It’s one dog. There are twenty that you stopped to pet along the way here, plenty more for you to pet after this. Arthur: You don’t understand, this is devastatin’. Charles: Arthur, please- Arthur: Utterly devastatin’, Charles.

- Arthur, tipsy: Just cause you’re gorgeous don’t mean I’ma do whatever you say. Charles: Drink the water, Arthur. Arthur: *grabs the glass* Yes, sir.

- (Got a Y/N one, also, modern Au)

Arthur: That’s the Aberdeen farm. Y/N: …what’s wrong with it? Arthur: What’cha mean? Y/N: The vibes, they’re off. Arthur: …the…vibes? Y/N: The energy, Mister Morgan. The vibe of the place. They’re off, they’re weird, wack even. I sense insidious and wretched wavelengths wafting from the aura of that property. Arthur: I see…well, to answer your question, it’s cause they are weird. And I ain’t even confirmed why cause I don’t really wanna know. Y/N: I see you can also sense the vibes are rank. Arthur: …sure, whatever that means.

- Micha: Well I think- Y/N: Well I’m certain no one fucking asked, Micha! Not a single damn person asked what the hell you thought, ever! In fact, I’m pretty sure you don’t think. I’m pretty sure your skull fills with all the bullshit in your organs, and it just spills out your mouth! Micha: Micha: I- Y/N: Shut up, Micha!

- Arthur, after Albert explains some super dangerous plan in order to get wild animals near him to photograph: You’re stupid, I like that in a man.

- Y/N: Bye Arthur, bye Karen, bye Hosea, bye Arthur. Sadie: You said ‘bye Arthur’ twice. Y/N: I like Arthur.

- NPC: Lovebirds, eh? Sadie: Arthur: Sadie: I’d rather eat a poison ivy plant with Holly Berries for dressing. *looks at Arthur* No offense. Arthur: No no, none taken. All things considered, I’d rather dive into a pit of tar and then drag myself face first through a plain of rotten chitlins. Sadie: Completely fair!

- Bill: I need you to realize you ain’t in charge here. Y/N: I need you to realize I don’t give a shit.

- Arthur: Hey Charles, uh, I got an Uhm…a spiritual question. Charles: Any particular reason you chose to ask me? Arthur: Uh well- I didn’t mean for it to be like that- I just- Charles: *sigh* What is it? Arthur: Do you know what it means when an elk stands up on its back legs? Charles: That means- Charles: WE SHOULD LEAVE, we need to leave, that’s what that means!

- Jack: …why are your boobs so big? Charles: They’re not boobs. Jack: Do you have to wear a brasier? Charles: *sigh* Arthur: He asked me the same thing a couple weeks ago, don’t think to hard bout it.

-

(Story spoilers!!) Y/N: I'm sorry, let me get this straight. Y/N: You picked up that man when he was a destitute child, grieving and starving. Taught him almost everything he knows. Y/N: Then, you did that with, what? Three others? In similar circumstances? Y/N: Created a sense of family and community, a strong bond between so many misfortuned people. With your trustworthy long term friend by your side. Y/N: And then. Y/N: One RAT. WHO IS OPENLY ANTAGONISTIC AND REEKS OF SUSPICION AS MUCH AS HE DOES HORSE SHIT, SOMEHOW CONVINCES YOU TO GO OFF YOUR ROCKER AND HARM YOUR GANG?! Y/N: Explain! Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: He praised me- Y/N: YOUR PRAISE KINK GOT YOU TO AIM A GUN AT YOUR SONS????

- Arthur: Naaah they’re an angel. Lenny: They punched Bill in the face. Seán: They told Strauss he was a waste of human material, in his own language, which they’re not fluent in. Mary-Beth: They framed Micha for a crime and got him put in prison again. Arthur: Like I said, an angel!

- John: Woman. (Translation: Darling.) Abigail: Moron. (Translation: Lovebug.)

Arthur: You tellin’ me they’re being affectionate right now? Jack: Can’t’cha read subtext, Uncle Arthur? Arthur: ???

-

(Insert Alcohol is truth serum reference)

Drunk Bill: Not to be gay, but you’re gorgeous bro. Kieran, afraid: You don’t have to be gay to appreciate a man’s beauty. Absolutely shit-faced Bill: Nah, like I’d fuck you, bro. Kieran, terrified: Okay, never mind!

- (How I imagine their first couple years together went)

Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: How do you feel about me? Hosea, naked & beside him: ….we’re sharin’ a bedroll, Dutch. Dutch: Yes, but what are we, Hosea? Hosea: ….we’re both naked, alone, in a tent, Dutch. Dutch: That doesn’t answer my question. Hosea:

- (This one's sad, not funny, sorry-) John: You’re such a hypocrite, why is it that anything I do that you’ve done before that you get so bent outta shape?! Arthur: Because I’ve done it before you, John. John: So why do you think it’s fair to tell me not to?! Most people are proud when their younger brother ends up like’em. You don’t want anyone like you, is that it? Arthur: John: John: …oh. Arthur: Now that you got my point, will you take my god damn advice without a big fuss…please.

- John: She drives me insane! She somehow managed to make me the angriest I’ve ever been almost daily. NPC: Then leave her. John: The fu- no. What? She’s the wind beneath my wings, my darling wife, my beautiful angel. How the hell could you even think to suggest such a thing? NPC: But- John: Get outta my sight, you fuckin’ disgrace.

[octopiys]

Some incorrect quotes and scenes for the pies

Roach: *Screams*

Ghost: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Capt. MacTavish: Should we do something?

Capt. Price: No, I want to see who wins.

-

Alejandro: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Valeria: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Alejandro: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING RODOLFO WITH ME

Rodolfo, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

Price: You know, not every problem can be solved with a knife.

Ghost: That's why I carry two knives.

-

Soap: I made tea.

Ghost: I don’t want tea.

Soap: ....I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Ghost: Then why are you telling me?

Soap: It is a conversation starter.

Ghost: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Soap: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

-

Gaz: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Price, putting his head in his hands: Does anyone in this goddamn team ever think before they speak-

-

Graves: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Alejandro: I do have a sense of humor you know

Graves: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Alejandro: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

Graves:

Graves: fuck you

Alejandro: fuck you

-

Soap, motioning to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts! I still can’t find a boo.

Ghost:

Ghost: is it because I said I didn't want your tea-

Soap: YES ITS BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU DIDNT WANT MY TEA

-

Ghost: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

Gaz, just finding out that Ghost is legally dead:

-

Gaz: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Price: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

Soap: Three of us saw it, Cap. How do you explain that?

Price: *points at Soap* Sleep deprivation. *points at König* Paranoia. *points at Ghost* Delusional personality disorder.

Gaz:

Gaz: damn.

-

Roze: What’s something you guys are better than Horangi at?

Hutch: Mario Kart.

O'Conor: Yeah, video games.

König: Emotional vulnerability

-

Graves: *Gets down on one knee*

Alejandro: Oh my god, it’s finally happening.

Graves: *Falls over*

Alejandro: The poison is kicking in.

-

Gaz, after falling out of a heli for the third time: Do you take constructive criticism?

Nikolai: I only take cash or credit.

-

Soap: Can you keep a secret?

Ghost: Do you know anything about my life?

Soap: No I do not. Good point.

-

Gaz: Hey heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this haha-

Roach: What did you-?

Gaz: A MISTAKE WAS MADE

-

-

I just wanna say thank you all sm for 300 followers! You all r loved and I'm not good with responses but I appreciate them all so muck, thank u again :DDDDD

[multi-fandom-imagine]

|| Across The Spiderverse •Incorrect Quotes• ||

Miguel O’Hara: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Reader.: It was autocorrect.

Miguel O’Hara: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Reader.: Yes.

•

Miguel O’Hara: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Reader: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

•

Miguel O’Hara: Y/n, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Reader, naked in Miguel O’Hara's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Miguel O’Hara, already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

•

Reader: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.

Peter B. Parker: But they said not to touch the masterpieces.

Reader: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall.

Miguel O’Hara, on a walkie talkie: This is Miguel O’Hara, those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again.

•

Peter B. Parker: This totally sucks, man.

Miguel O’Hara: This is horrible.

Peter B. Parker: Yeah, I know, I mean look at today’s news.

Miguel O’Hara: No, it’s not that, it’s Y/n.

Miguel O’Hara: It’s just like, I can’t get them out of my head and every time I look at them I have this pains in my chest, and I just know it’s their fault, that bitch!

•

Reader: *yawns*

Miguel O’Hara: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Reader: Then you must be exhuasted.

Peter B. Parker: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

•

Peter B. Parker: We have a problem.

Miguel O’Hara: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Reader: Ha!

•

Miguel O’Hara: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Reader: Aren't you forgetting something?

Miguel O’Hara: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Reader's forehead before running out.*

Reader: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

•

Miguel O’Hara: I love you.

Reader, not paying attention: What was that?

Miguel O’Hara: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

•

Peter B. Parker: Is this your plan B?

Reader: Technically, this is plan P.

Peter B. Parker: Plan P? Is there a plan M?

Reader: Yes, but I marry Miguel in plan M.

Miguel O’Hara: I like plan M.

•

Peter B. Parker: I didn't drink that much last night.

Miguel O’Hara: You were flirting with Y/n.

Peter B. Parker: So what? They're my partner.

Miguel O’Hara: You asked if they were single.

Miguel O’Hara: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

•

Reader: Would you like something to drink? *opens the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-

Miguel O’Hara: Spiders?

Reader: Spiders it is then.

Miguel O’Hara: No, that wasn't-

* But you were already pouring them a brimming glass of spiders…*

•

Reader: I made tea.

Miguel O’Hara: I don’t want tea.

Reader: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Miguel O’Hara: Then why are you telling me?

Reader: It is a conversation starter.

Miguel O’Hara: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Reader: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

•

Reader: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Miguel O’Hara: I do have a sense of humor you know

Reader: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Miguel O’Hara: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

•

Reader: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Miguel O’Hara: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Peter B Parker: Smad.

•

Reader: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Miguel O’Hara: *turning to Peter* How tall are you?

•

Miles Morales: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Reader: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Peter B Parker: I got distracted about halfway through.

Miguel O’Hara: Ignoring you was a conscious decision

•

Reader: Yo is Miles sleeping or dead?

Miguel O’Hara: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.

Peter B Parker: Yeah, so did I.

Miles Morales: Okay first of all, fuck you-

•

Reader, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Miguel O’Hara, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Peter B Parker, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Miles Morales, trembling: What are we playing

•

Reader: Why is Miguel so sad?

Peter B Parker: They took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Reader: And...?

Miguel O’Hara: I got Miles Morales.

•

Reader: I think we're missing something.

Miguel O’Hara: Teamwork?

Peter B Parker: Cohesion?

Miles Morales: A general sense of what we’re doing?

•

Reader: I think Miles Morales was right.

Miguel O’Hara: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'

Peter B Parker: They wouldn't do that.

Miles Morales: You're right, Peter. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.

Miles Morales: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Miles Morales Told You So' on the back*

•

Reader: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

Miguel O’Hara: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.

Peter B Parker: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

•

Reader: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.

Miguel O’Hara: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Peter Parker isn’t

•

Reader: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Miguel O’Hara: Wasn't Peter with you?

Peter B Parker: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

•

Reader: HELP! I TOLD PETER I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Miguel O’Hara, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

•

Reader: You look nice, I want to kiss you.

Miguel O’Hara: What?

Reader: I SAID IF YOU DIED, I WOULDN’T MISS YOU.

•

Reader: As top in this relationship, I think we should-

Miguel O’Hara: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

•

Miguel : Y/n and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Reader: Sentences.

Miguel : Don't interrupt me.

•

Miguel: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Reader: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Miguel: No! Four to five seconds!

Reader: Too late!!!

•

Miguel: I'm so tough, I'm on alert even when there's no danger!

Reader: Miguel, that's PTSD.

[reasonandfaithinharmony]

2024 Gif Round-Up

Thank you for tagging me @heartstringsduet @thisbuildinghasfeelings @paperstorm @alrightbuckaroo

@carlos-in-glasses @guardian-angle22 and @reyesstrand!!

I’m very late to this because the holidays didn’t leave me any time to myself. But @herefortarlos tells me there’s no deadline for these things. So here we go.😅

This year was the first time I watched 911 Lone Star live, and it was actually the first time I’d ever made gifs for *any show* as we got new episodes. It's been a lot of fun, even if it makes me even more aware of just how long it takes me to finish a set. 🙈

Here’s to everyone who puts lovely content on my dash, whether it’s your own work, reblogs, or funny/heartfelt commentary and tags. I would be so lost without all of it.

Please consider this an open tag for anyone who would still like to do their own round-up!

January

Carlos smiling into kisses Parallel set with scenes from Yee-Haw (1x02)

“You asked me to feel safe with you.” Flashback set with scenes from Friends With Benefits (2x04) and Push (3x04)

When a new hyperfixation takes hold Dan Levy reaction gifs

February

TK and Carlos comforting each other Parallel set with scenes from Friends With Benefits (2x04) and A House Divided (4x16)

March

“I'll keep going with you.” An emotional entry for incorrect quotes/text post–gifs, with scenes from In the Unlikely Event of an Emergency (3x08) and In Sickness and in Health (4x18)

 “I am tryna be your home, your safe place, your go to person…” Back to the more humorous incorrect quotes/text post–gifs, with moments from Yee-Haw (1x02)

“there’s honestly a lot of things wrong with you but im kind of into it for some reason. Do you want to get married.” Incorrect quotes/text post–gifs, featuring the darts scene from Texas Proud (1x03)

April

Their last terrified moments in their first home. Their first brilliant and joyful moments in their new home. Parallel set with scenes from The Big Heat (2x12) and Push (3x04)

“Hey now those (your big brown eyes) are some dangerous weapons…” Incorrect quotes/text post–gif with a look at Carlos in Negative Space (3x12)

That lovely first tarlos scene in Riddle of the Sphynx (3x13), without the credits obstructing our view.

"just got diagnosed as your soulmate...". Incorrect quotes/text post–gif featuring scenes from Yee-Haw (1x02) and A House Divided (4x16)

Season 4: parallel statements of love and devotion Scenes from Abandoned (4x04), The New Hot Mess (4x02), Swipe Left (4x12), A House Divided (4x16), and In Sickness and in Health (4x18)

May through December are below the cut because things got very out of hand very quickly:

May

Husband, husband, husband Every instance of “husband” from In Sickness and in Health (4x18)

When there are clues that date night has been interrupted Adding some visual aids to the conversation about the state of Carlos' shirt at the end of This Is Not a Drill (4x06)

“I think that both of them like to be the little spoon and the big spoon” – Rafael Silva For @carlos-in-glasses who shared her amazing Cameo video with us

“I missed it so much, I took a stab at writing fanfiction.” A relatable moment from Modern Family

June

If that moment in the fire was Carlos' last chance to say anything, he was going to say everything. A flashback set inspired by @doublel27's post that lives in my head, rent-free. Features scenes from The Big Heat (2x12) and In Sickness and in Health (4x18)

“He might not understand TK's fixation with a lizard, but… Um, you know, Carlos loves TK. And if Carlos loves TK, then that's all that matters.” – Rafael Silva For @thisbuildinghasfeelings who generously shared not one, but two Cameo videos with us

Just taking the opportunity to look at the details of some intense moments from the fire in The Big Heat (2x12)

“It’s a meal, not a marriage proposal, TK. || “So, the wedding. It’s coming up.” A flashback set with TK and Carlos sitting across from each other at the dinner table in Yee-Haw (1x02) and This Is Not a Drill (4x06)

wedding planning → wedding ceremony Parallel set with scenes from Control Freaks (4x08) and In Sickness and in Health (4x18)

July

“And when did you figure that out?” / “The day I met you.” How long have you thought that?“ / “Since the first night I took you home.” A flashback *and* parallel set with scenes from the pilot (1x01), Yee-Haw (1x02), The New Hot Mess (4x02), and A House Divided (4x16). Made in collaboration with @paperstorm. (Check out the accompanying fic here.)

That sounds sexual. 😏 A Rafael Silva reaction gif for various situations here on tumblr dot com

Andrea with her husband and her son, both in their tuxes for the wedding. Parallel set featuring scenes from  Best of Men (4x17) and In Sickness and in Health deleted scene (4x18). (I blame this one on @goldenskykaysani 😭)

August

My best attempt at zooming in on the final shot of the proposal scene in A Bright and Cloudless Morning (3x18)

September

No more wasted moments. A collection of scenes from A Bright and Cloudless Morning (3x18), Swipe Left (4x12), Both Sides Now (5x01), and the promo for Thunderstruck (5x05). (I still need to update that last one to the version used in the episode. Oops.)

Carlos on the outside, looking in  ->  Carlos surrounded by the love of his friends, family, and husband Not sure if I should call this a parallel or a flashback set. Either way, we have scenes from the pilot (1x01) and In Sickness and in Health (4x18), and I'm so very normal about it.

Sweet moments where Carlos is grabbing TK’s sweater/jacket Parallel set of still images from Riddle of the Sphynx (3x13) and the Thunderstruck promo (5x05)

Reaching across the table Parallel set of still images from Austin, We Have a Problem (1x10) and Both Sides, Now (5x01, season 5 promo)

TK and Carlos:  "husband" A collection of scenes from A Bright and Cloudless Morning (3x18),  Swipe Left (4x12), In Sickness and in Health (4x18), and Both Sides Now (5x01)

The look on Carlos' face when his own love language is returned to him in kind Parallel set with scenes from Swipe Left (4x12) and Both Sides, Now (5x01)

October

“One of the most magical things about being in a committed relationship is learning to really open up your heart and hate one of your partner’s coworkers you’ve never met” Incorrect quotes/text post–gif  for Both Sides, Now (5x01)

The way Carlos walks into the 126 firehouse:  unwilling to move past the threshold -> strutting in with donuts for everyone, just because. A collection of scenes from Austin, We Have a Problem (1x10), Bad Call (2x08), Spring Cleaning (3x17), and Trainwrecks (5x02)

“You look like the night we met. Green t-shirt and short hair.” For @strandnreyes and @paperstorm, to accompany their coda for C12 (5x03), with parallel gifs from the pilot (1x01).  (Read the fic here.)

TK and Carlos are not on the same page Parallel set for Swipe Left (4x12) and the Thunderstruck promo (5x05)

kiss + hand + ✨ring✨ Parallel set of still images from In Sickness and in Health deleted scenes (4x18) and Thunderstruck promo photos (5x05)

I will never not be thinking about this kiss 🔥 Thunderstruck (5x05) sneak peek

Had to make a post with sexy scenes from three different episodes. As a treat. 🔥🔥🔥 Parallel set for Yee-Haw (1x02), The Big Heat (2x12), and Thunderstruck (5x05)

"…everybody has needs." Pairing moments from The Big Heat (2x12) and Thunderstruck (5x05) with Rafael Silva’s Cameo video (courtesy of @carlos-in-glasses)

November

TK, Carlos, and Jonah – with Gwyn and with Enzo Parallel set of still images from Push (3x04) and a Kiddos (5x07) promotional photo. A closer zoom of the Kiddos image can be found here.

“This is great. I’m going to get a good grade in therapy, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve” Incorrect quotes/text post–gif for Carlos in Thunderstruck (5x05)

TK and Carlos moving in sync during couples therapy Thunderstruck (5x05)

Carlos in his troublemaker era, egging on Owen and Enzo Kiddos (5x07)

TK, Carlos, and Jonah at the firehouse Parallel set with scenes from  Push (3x04) and Kiddos (5x07)

“Hi, big brother.” / “Hi, little brother.” TK and Jonah reunited in Kiddos (5x07) A longer version of this gif set can be found here

Just the tiniest bit of slightly different footage from TK's birthday party Kiddos (5x07)

“Who’s gonna take him to dim sum?” || “Who’s gonna hug him?” Parallel set with scenes from In the Unlikely Event of an Emergency (3x08) and The Quiet Ones (5x08)

A microsecond of behind-the-scenes footage from TK's party Kiddos (5x07)

December

TK and Carlos reaching for each other in their sleep Parallel set with scenes from Riddle of the Sphynx (3x13), In Sickness and in Health (4x18), and The Quiet Ones (5x08).

Our loved ones live on through us Parallel set with scenes from In the Unlikely Event of an Emergency (3x08) and Fall From Grace (5x09)

“You were my dad." Flashback set with scenes from Best of Men (4x17), In Sickness and in Health (4x18), and Fall From Grace (5x09)

[sophswritingthings]

I have more incorrect quotes on apothecary Reader and Mizu bc they're funny asf

Reader: That was so hot, Mizu.

Mizu: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

Reader: I'm so in love with you.

-

Reader: I think I'm falling for you.

Mizu: Then get up.

-

Mizu: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Reader: That's great, Mizu. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

-

Reader: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Mizu: Wow. They sound stupid.

Reader: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Mizu: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Reader: I guess you’re right. Hey Mizu, I love you.

Mizu: See! Just say that!

Reader: Holy fucking shit.

Mizu: If that flies over their head then, sorry Reader, but they're too dumb for you.

Reader: Mizu.

-

Mizu: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Reader: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Mizu: That one. I want that one.

pairing: mizu x fem!apothecary!reader

warning(s): swearing

a/n: PLEASE 😭 they’re funny as all hell. mizu wants the wet pathetic traumatized girl. I was about to write smut when I realized I had this ask

word count: 490 words / 2,717 characters

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“degenerate dog. flirting with married women,” she hissed to herself.

you, on the other hand, we’re only staring at your wife with hearts in your eyes.

“that was so hot, mizu,” you cling to her arm with a smile.

she glances at you, raising an eyebrow at your words.

“I just called the man who flirted with you a degenerate dog and told him I hope he gets dragged into the depths of hell,” repeating her own words only furthered her confusion.

“god, I’m so in love with you.”

-

you were gazing up at her from your pile on the floor, your face flushed with a bright red color.

“I think I’m falling for you,” you whispered, your voice gentle and tender.

she offered a hand out to you, her eyes narrowed.

“than get up.”

-

mizu was gazing at you, her thumb rubbing over your knuckles—strands of hair falling upon her face. her blue eyes traced the features of your face over and over, as if trying to capture it in her memory permanently.

“I haven’t been sure how to tell you this,” she murmured. “but I think I’m in love with you.”

you raise an eyebrow.

“.. that’s great, mizu,” you hiss, narrowing yourself eyes. “especially considering we’ve been married for six fucking years?”

-

you groaned, your arms folded across your chest.

“I’ve been dropping hints to them for the last year,” you sigh. “like, the most insanely obvious hints. and nothing! nothing!”

mizu folded her legs, taking a sip of her tea. 

“they sound stupid, (y/n),” she replies bluntly. “you sure you should be even worrying about them?”

“but they’re not stupid! that’s the problem,” you haul yourself to your feet, pacing a little. “they’re very smart. just very… dense.”

she looks at you, puzzled. “maybe just be more obvious,” she suggests. “I don’t know. just tell them “hey, I love you” and see where that goes.”

you take in a sharp inhale of breath, stopping your pacing right in front of her.

“I suppose you’re right.” you place your arms on either side of her shoulders, “I love you.”

“see? just like that,” she replies, still sipping her tea.

you raise a hand to your forehead, stepping away from her, “holy fucking hell.”

“if that flies over their head then I’m sorry, (y/n), I think they’re a bit too stupid for you—“

you narrow your eyes down at her, “mizu.”

-

she was standing outside the swords-smith with eiji at her side, unintentionally, subconsciously, watching you from far away.

“I need my future partner to be brave—strong—intelligent. successful, and organized,” she murmured. “like your wife once was.”

just then she watched as you dropped to your knees, holding what looked to be a dead caterpillar in your hands—tears running down your cheeks and apologizing over and over again.

she sighed, adverting her blue gaze while blushing, “is it bad I want that one?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: babe when you have more can I have them. please.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Let me present to you my jujutsu kaisen shorts masterlist

Because this escalated way too quickly to overview everything lol

All of these are little stories with max 600 words in the Shorts Section or funny incorrect quotes and conversations in Drabbles for you to enjoy 🤍 Please let me know what you think about this format and if you want me to write more of them hehe

-> click on the name of the fic to read it!

Shorts

How Toji handles someone hitting on you

Nanami reacting to his shirts being shrunk by his girl

Touching Gojo's frog by accident (18+)

How Geto reacts when you stand in front of his door covered in blood

Megumi walking into you while you change

Gojo only realizing you're serious when you start crying

Sukuna catching you staring at him while training shirtless

Yuta reacting to delerious reader telling him that she loves him

First years reacting to Nanami dating reader (this one got flagged by anon for being 18+ while it's pure fluff so if you have a moment, I'd really appreciate you liking/commenting/sharing especially this one babe)

Geto's reaction to your drunk confession

Nanami's reaction to his wife announcing her long-awaited pregnancy

Joining Higuruma in that bathtub

Curing Gojo's depression

Choso's reacting to reader crying after his love confession

Megumi reacting to you wearing a gorgeous dress and looking like an angel

Steaming hot Sukuna content

Gojo with a reader who struggles to walk sometimes

Megumi when reader got jumped and doesn't want him to know

Megumi getting flustered after the others tease him about you

Imagine Gojo and Sukuna fighting over you on the battlefield

Reader curling Geto's hair

Gojo thinking you ignore him while you're absolutely flustered by him

Gojo finding out the elders blinded you while he was sealed

Gojo watching "how to be a better husband" videos in secret so that he'd be ready if you ever say yes

the trio when you break your butt

Requests for shorts are closed atm, but as soon as I finished every request I'll open them again <3

Drabbles

Young Gojo's spicy training session with his significant other

The morning after Gojo caught (y/n) and Megumi sitting on each other in bed

Megumi being Megumi

Megumi being Megumi pt ll

(y/n) showing off her new dress

Gojo being Gojo

Geto's manspread

Ramblings

Megumi trying to flirt

Gojo's life wisdom

(y/n) taking it too far with Nanami

(y/n) trying to be a villain

Megumi being rude

Yuji being the precious boy he is

(y/n) and Nobara observing Nanami

(y/n) fighting against Choso

(y/n) being on fire for Sukuna

Nanami being Ino's and (y/n)'s daddy

Sukuna giving (y/n) his heart

Toji's worm dropping its ptsd to Geto and (y/n)

Steaming hot Sukuna drabble

Gojo begging you not to follow Geto

Gojo and (y/n) in a nutshell

Yuji and (y/n)'s first date

(y/n) disarming Sukuna

Gojo being...Gojo

Taking a shower with Gojo for the first time

[ladydigianna]

incorrect quotes || rise of red ft. y/n

|| note: this is fictional yall

|| pairings: rise of red x reader

|| sfw

|| from the author: have fun reading hehe ^^

-incquotes under the cut-

Hook: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Uliana: You’re charged with…..breaking into a pet store? Chloe: I thought the animals might be lonely.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ella : Come on, Bridget. Nobody actually believes that Charming is in love with me. Bridget, to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that Charming is helplessly in love with Ella. *Everyone raises their hand* Ella: Charming, put your hand down.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Morgie: Why are you drinking? Maleficent: I drink when I'm depressed. Morgie: But you're always drinking? Maleficent: *smug grin*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charming, to Ella: You wanna fight? All right, let’s take this outside. The stars are so bright tonight and the moon looks so nice. Here, hold my hand—

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hook: I’m a reverse necromancer! Y/n: Isn’t that just- Maleficent: No. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. You are literally so fucking unfunny that it hurts. It physically hurts my body knowing that people still think murder is funny. I cant believe im saying this but do you guys know how chronically online you all are, thinking that saying “oOh iM a rEVeRsE nECrOmANcER i LOvE tO kiLL pEOpLe” is genuinely funny and will get everyone in the room shitting themselves from laughter?? cause its not. It’s fucking not. In fact, its the unfunniest fucking joke ever. Not just any joke about killing people. This one specifically. Its so unfunny and stupid. Nobody is fucking laughing at that, Hook. It makes you look like a greasy emo kid who has never been outside once in their life and uses tumblr religiously. Like not even the funny side of tumblr. the fucking unfunny side filled with overused jokes about murder and illegal acts. Honestly, youre so unfunny, Hook. Fuck you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cinderella: Damn, the power went out. Y/n: Don’t worry, I got this. Y/n: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up* Cinderella: What-? Y/n: I swallowed a glow stick! Cinderella, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red: I can't imagine what Hades is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hades: You know, there’s only one person in this world who can tell you what you are. Y/n: Me. Hades: No. Hades: Me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hades: Do you guys hear something? Maleficent: I hear the sound of you shutting the fuck up.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hades: Astrology is fun because I can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Gemini and not symptoms of mental illness. Uliana: Being a Gemini is a mental illness. That’s not hate it’s just a fact.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box. Queen of Hearts: Did Chloe say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'? Red: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hook: I’d kill someone if you asked me to. Morgie: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn’t ask you to.

[the-way-astray]

okay wait if you don’t mind me asking why don’t you like incorrect quotes?

anon, i swear this was not meant to be this long

my reasons are 100% subjective. over the years, i've dabbled in several different fandoms. and i find that the same incorrect quote format is used to describe relationships between characters in different series that i find to not be alike at all. for example, i've seen multiple of the same incorrect quote formats used for both percabeth and sokeefe, when i don't find the relationships to be that similar to one another at all. it's just that people see one dimension of sophie and annabeth (let's say smart) and one dimension of percy and keefe (let's say funny) and then the entire incorrect quote becomes about that. i find sokeefe and percabeth to be two entirely different relationships with few things in common (which i've talked about), but the incorrect quotes flatten them to those qualities only and i don't like that.

the sokeefe-percabeth thing is just an example, by the way, one i picked because i feel most people i'm talking to would understand it, but i've also seen the same incorrect quote formats used to describe relationships like jurdan or kanej . . . and if you've read tfota or soc you know how drastically dissimilar jurdan or kanej are to either sokeefe or percabeth (and each other). and i find that these indirect comparisons drawn between relationships like this flattens certain characters quite a bit. this is how we get stuff like "sokeefe is basically kotlc percabeth" and stuff like that.

then, once a character has been given a "role" (i use the term loosely) they have to occupy all the aspects that come with that "role". so then they're only allowed to be that "role" in the incorrect quote, even if the quote requires them to say/do things they would never say/do, because they've been slated into that role based on that one aspect. take this quote for example:

keefe has been slated into the role of "one that has a crush on sophie" for the purposes of this particular quote. but keefe doesn't ramble like this. he doesn't like his dad and would never discuss a crush on sophie with him (but this one i'm not that mad about since you could as easily change cassius to ro or something). he doesn't use exaggerated metaphors to describe things and he doesn't speak in purple prose. he does a pretty good job hiding his crush and would never inadvertently reveal it like this. do you see what i mean? because of the fact that the format requires him to be "one with a crush on sophie", he now has to fulfill all the other aspects the format requires, even though they don't apply to him. and it no longer feels like keefe. it flattens him down to this one aspect.

i feel like this flattening aspect of incorrect quotes does have a (very small, sort of indirect) effect on the way characters are perceived in fanon. and i don't like it? it's very weird to me. so i prefer to stay away from it. (best examples i can think of are cardan and kaz, who are both morally gray, but lots of incorrect quotes portray them as hopelessly in love with their love interests or malewives, and while that's true, them being slated into that role for the purpose of the incorrect quote often makes them out to be the kind that would doodle hearts around names in notebooks or blush or be in that sort of cutesy-teenager-with-a-crush kind of romance. and . . . uh . . . yeah, they love jude and inej, but that's like. not at all what either relationship is like. it's just not.)

also some incorrect quotes are so desperate to slate characters into certain "roles", as i call them, that they forsake crucial aspects of the character in the process, or actively make them do/say things that go against something that is a core aspect of that character. and i don't like the way the quote is willing to misinterpret something so crucial to the character for the sake of the incorrect quote exemplifying something much less important like "the funny one" or "the one with a crush on ___".

incorrect quotes also have a tendency to portray what a character actually wants to do, rather than how they would realistically behave, given the circumstances. take this quote (and ignore the weird anti-sophitz-ness for the moment, i'm trying to make a point):

in canon, it's kind of a point that sophie "isn't aware" of her crush on keefe, so to speak. she knows she has a crush on fitz. she may subconsciously want to kiss keefe, but remember, she thinks she likes fitz. so this incorrect quote just frustrates me because that's not what sophie would do!!!!!!! she would kiss fitz. actually, she would get all nervous and blushy and try to worm her way out of it. and if this is a post-stellarlune quote, and she knows she likes keefe, she wouldn't address fitz directly like that??? she would trying so hard not to look at fitz because omg omg omg i have to kiss my new boyfriend in front of my old boyfriend who appears to still not be over me. like the quote requires you to change fundamental aspects of sophie's personality/behavior to buy it. my analysis brain can't handle that. my problem is that i can't enjoy the quote for the quote, because my brain is always instead picking apart how un-character the incorrect quote feels.

having said all of that, i fully understand that anyone who likes incorrect quotes or engages with them frequently knows all this. i don't think you all are stupid. obviously keefe would never say something like that first example i showed in canon. that's understood! the point is to make fun of his crush on sophie. i get it. it's all in good fun. i just prefer not to engage with incorrect quotes because the flattening aspect makes me personally want to scream that the character would never do or say that, because at this point the character doesn't even feel like the character, so what even is the point of the quote anymore??? and then i get stuck in a loop.

and like i said in my original tags, i would never want to completely get rid of incorrect quotes. they're easy to make, fun, easily digestable, and in general sort of a safe way to get started in fandoms. they're the safety net of fandoms, and i think they really are crucial for smaller/more obscure fandoms where nobody wants to do hardcore analysis stuff but people still want to talk about their favorite media. so i think, for the purposes they fulfill, they're alright.

[fuckingsimpthatswho]

One Piece incorrect Quotes

part 2 because they are funny

Sanji: Wait, hold up, why you draw yourself like that? Usopp: Uh, like what? Sanji: Like with gorgeous, muscular legs. Usopp: Uh, this is what I look like. Sanji:

Usopp: THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE! Sanji: Okay, then I want big beefy arms. Hot ones. Zoro: I wanna have a cowboy hat! Usopp: Okay, arms and hat. draws them Luffy: Ooh, give me a cowboy hat too! Usopp: You can't just take Zoro's hat idea, Luffy! He thought it up all by himself like a good person! Come up with your own thing! Luffy: BUT I WANNA LOOK COOL! Nami: Put Luffy on one of those stupid baby tricycles. Luffy: NO!! Usopp: Tricycle, done. draws it Brook, want anything? Nami, making finger guns: Pew pew. Usopp: A blaster?! No, that's not really our style, Brook. Brook, making finger guns: Pew pew. Usopp: You know what, okay. draws it But it's just for holding, not for shooting.

Brook: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Franky: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back… Robin: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Zoro: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Nami: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Sanji: Mental stability, my old friend! Brook: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

Franky: From now on we will be using code names. Franky: You can address me as Eagle One. Franky: Chopper is “been there done that”. Franky: Robin is “currently doing that”. Franky: Brook is “it happened once in a dream”. Franky: Nami is “if I had to pick a gal”. Franky: And Usopp is.. Franky: Eagle Two Usopp: Oh thank god.

Luffy, watching Zoro and Sanji from afar: Two Bros, Chillin in a hot tub. Five feet apart because they think they’re not gay, BUT THEY REALLY ARE-

Usopp, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Nami: Yeah, sure. A few minutes later Nami: Here you go. Usopp: Nami: Sanji: Why am I here?

Chopper: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Usopp: Usopp: I'm gonna tell them. Nami: Don't you dare.

Nami: We’re going to a candy store?! Usopp: No! It’s nighttime, candy stores are closed. Chopper: We’re gonna ROB a candy store?!?! Usopp, sighing: No-

Chopper: How do I ask someone out? Nami: Roses are red, violets are blue, guess what, my bed has room for two. Chopper: No! Usopp: Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in a car. Chopper: Stop! Robin: Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily I can make you scream. Chopper: I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory.

Chopper: Who would you kill out of the four of us, Nami? Nami: Usopp, easily. Usopp, laughing: What the fuck, man. Nami: Well, Sanji would be too easy. They’d probably be into it. Sanji, now standing in the doorway: What the fuck, man!?

Chopper: Today at 7 am, Robin poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Nami: I watched Robin brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm. Usopp: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

Franky: Know why I called you in here? Robin: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic. Franky: Stops pouring two glasses of wine. Accidentally?

Sanji: Stops making lunch an stand there confused

Franky: What are you in the mood for? Robin: World domination. Franky: That's a bit ambitious. Robin: You are my world. Franky: Aww… Robin: Franky: Robin: Franky: OH.

[marigoldwriter]

NOBODY ASKED, BUT I DID IT!

Incorrect quotes from Descendants! Specifically with characters from my fanfic!! (read here)

—-–—‐–—‐–—‐–——-–—‐–—‐–—‐–—

Letty: I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.

Corwin: Ok.

Letty: Wait, why such a muted reaction? Did that not sound cool?

(I saw someone doing this with Red and all I could think of was Letty, like mother like daughter)

—-–—‐–—‐–—‐–——-–—‐–—‐–—‐–—

Murderer: Any last words?

Cherise: Do you think I'm cute? Be honest.

(little by little they will understand that she isn't afraid of death, not even a little bit)

—-–—‐–—‐–—‐–——-–—‐–—‐–—‐–—

Micah, looking at the Hearts's children: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

(it's a spoiler, yes, but no one will understand)

—-–—‐–—‐–—‐–——-–—‐–—‐–—‐–—

Manon: Just be yourself. Say something nice to her.

Letty: Which one? I can't do both.

(I should put Letty as red, she's so her mother)

—-–—‐–—‐–—‐–——-–—‐–—‐–—‐–—

Corwin: Do you have a self-care routine?

Rosa: "Keep going bitch" said to myself in different accents.

(In Riddles, French, Spanish, and a british accent, to be precise)

—-–—‐–—‐–—‐–——-–—‐–—‐–—‐–—

Arley, about Letty: She’s speaking some kind of French.

Rosa: Let me handle it. I speak Spanish. It's the same thing.

(Nobody knows who Arley is, but I'm going to put her here anyway. And this is very canon)

—-–—‐–—‐–—‐–——-–—‐–—‐–—‐–—

Letty, to Eva: If you see Corwin, give him this message *makes a neutral face*.

Letty: He'll know what it means.

*Later*

Eva: oh, and Letty said to give you a message.

Eva: *makes a neutral face*

Corwin: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.

(NOBODY KNOWS WHO EVA IS BUT— yeah, you'll understand)

—-–—‐–—‐–—‐–——-–—‐–—‐–—‐–—

Montreal: If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you, Letty!

*Neither of them die*

Letty: …

Montreal: …

Montreal: So do you wanna talk about somethi-

Letty: No thanks.

(Spoiler, maybe, but that would happen. AND YOU WILL KNOW SOON WHO MONTREAL IS)

—-–—‐–—‐–—‐–——-–—‐–—‐–—‐–—

Cherise: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

(Dearest, you've been like this since you were ten, please, you'll break another bone if you stay like this)

—-–—‐–—‐–—‐–——-–—‐–—‐–—‐–—

Mal: While I’m gone, you’re in charge, baby dragon.

Micah: Yes!!!

Mal, whispering: You’re secretly in charge, little dragon.

Manon: Obviously.

(THERE’S NO OTHER COLOR FOR THEM OTHER THAN PURPLE. I'll do this to Hearts family if I do this again)

—-–—‐–—‐–—‐–——-–—‐–—‐–—‐–—

Red: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Letty: *looking at Chloe out of the corner of her eye* How tall is she?

(this will probably happen, at some point, out of sight of the readers)

—-–—‐–—‐–—‐–——-–—‐–—‐–—‐–—

Eva, banging on the door: Letty! Open up!

Letty: Well, it all started when I was a kid...

Micah: No, she meant-

Corwim: Let she finish. I'll be next.

(it would be funny if they didn't really need therapy)

—-–—‐–—‐–—‐–——-–—‐–—‐–—‐–—

Cherise: *Gently taps table*

Rosa: *Taps back*

Corwin: What are they doing?

Letty: Morse code.

Rosa: *Aggressively taps table*

Cherise: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

(They were arguing about who won the card game last time)

—-–—‐–—‐–—‐–——-–—‐–—‐–—‐–—

That's it! I was really inspired by @ronance4everbrainrot to make this post, I just wanted to have some level of interaction about my fanfic and for it to be fun.

[skylarsblue]

✦Incorrect C.o.D Quotes Nine✦

(Sexual Implication) Ghost, trying to be sexy by whispering: Gaggin’ for it, aren’t ya, love? Soap: Nope. Ghost: No? Soap: I don’t gag on anything. Ghost: *404 Error* Soap: …Ghost? Si? Simon, are you alright?

-- Y/N: Let’s play a word association game! Ghost: Why? Y/N: Because I saved your ass last mission and I’m bored, so you owe me. Ghost: *sigh* Fine. Y/N: P e r f e c t . Gaz: ?? Y/N: Cold. Ghost: Winter. Y/N: Spring. Ghost: Mattress. Y/N: Soft. Ghost: Comfortable. Y/N: Pleasant. Ghost: Sunset. Y/N, With a shit eating grin: Beautiful. Ghost, unconsciously: Johnny- Y/N: YES Gaz: OHHHHHH Ghost: Soap: *gasp* Simon!~ Ghost: I’m going to go crash in a heli. Y/N: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT-

-- Alex: Bitch do you want me to jump across this table? Because I don’t have all day for this. Norris: You feeling froggy? Leap. Alex: Okay, well here I come- Farah: Alex no, no- hOLD OFF

-- (NSFW Joke) Y/N: Oh sorry. I almost drank out of your cup. Soap: Wh-Just go ahead, it won’t matter! Y/N: Well I- Yeah no, you’re right. I’ve drank out of your cups dozens of times. Soap: We’ve sucked the same dick- Y/N: That’s a good point! Ghost: ….*sigh*

-- Gaz: What kind of girl do you like? Soap: My wife. Gaz: And you? Ghost: Johnny’s wife. Gaz: OH- Price, knowing they recently started a poly situation: Pfft-

-- (Use of the word pussy because haha) Gaz, filming: Pffft- Soap: Shhshh- Y/N in the hallway: FORTY THREE FUCKING CENTS! AHHHHH Soap: *wheeze* Y/N: I NEED A SUGAR DADDY!! Gaz: PFFFT- Soap: I can’t breathe- Y/N: At this rate I’m ready to plaster my fuckin’ pussy on the sidewalk for some sPARE CHANGE! Gaz & Soap: *doing that silent cackle thing and smack each other in the arm* Ghost, leaning into the room: What the f- Y/N: SPAARE CHANGE, SPARE CHANGE! ANYONE GOT ANY SPARE CHAAANGE?! Gaz: *coughing* Soap: Steamin’ Jesus I’m fucking crying- Y/N, passing by the room: 🎵Walkin’ in a winter wonderlaaaand🎶

-- Y/N: Would you love me? Gaz: Y/N: Gaz: Y/N: Gaz: Would I love you if…? Y/N: nO ThAt wAs tHE QuesTiOn-

-- Y/N: Pretty boy! With me I said! Rudy: Rudy: Rudy: Oh I’m pretty boy! Y/N: Yes! Oo that came out a bit quick- (Also works with Soap & Gaz, honestly)

-- (THIS IS A CONCEPT IM TOO WHIMPY TO WRITE, SO HAVE IT HERE! THIS COULD WORK WITH SO MANY CHARACTERS Also, NSFW warning) Ghost: I don’t miss. Y/N, on his ear piece: Never? Even with distractions? Ghost: *turns his scope* Not ever. *just about to take a shot* Y/N: Hmm…what if I went… Mm Simon~ Ghost: *misses* Y/N: Ya missed. Ghost: Cheeky bitch…

-- Gaz: Alright, so, since we’re now in America and we have some time to kill, I went and I got you something. Y/N: Aww Gaz, you really didn’t have to- Gaz: *puts down their Whataburger order* Y/N: OH MY GOD Price: Really? Gaz: *shrug* Soap: *snickering as Y/N Fucking demolishes some fries* Y/N, having the time of their life: Garrick you ever need your dick sucked, a dead body buried, a beer or whatever, you call me. I got’chu Gaz: BAHA- Soap: *wheeze* Ghost: Are you fucking crying? Y/N with their mouth full: I missed it so much.

-- (Team bonding exercises) Soap: You’re a football player, it’s in ya blood! Gaz: That’s racist. Soap: Your soul? Gaz: That’s racist! Soap: …your eyes? Gaz: That’s gay- Soap: That’s homophobic. Gaz: That’s black. Soap: That’s racist!! Gaz: Damn- (this one is extra funny since Gaz is now confirmed LGBT)

-- Gaz: You overrated little twink! Soap: Hey I am a TWUNK, alright?! That is a combination, twink, and HUNK, get it?? Hunk-

-- Soap: Hey~ Fem!Y/N: You’re Gay. Soap: …oh yeah. Soap: *looks at Ghost* Soap: Hey.~ Ghost: *sigh*

-- Soap: I’m gonna have to meet men lying down. Y/N: …I thought’cha did?? Soap: OI!

-- Soap: Everyone says what a giving person I am! Y/N: He’s talking about when you’re in an upright position.

-- Graves: What if there’s a connection? Y/N: I think there’s a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste.

-- Shepard: Now you’re always ornery, rude, unpleasant, and sometimes downright mean. That’s part of your charm. Y/N: Thank you, you colluding-county-hopping-idiotic-relic. Price: *pride*

-- Alex: Oh my god, how are you such a good driver? Soap: Because there’s illegal shit in here. Alex: Soap: Because if I don’t use my turn signal, we’re both gonna do fifteen. Because I am going to lie and say yours. Alex: ….. Soap: Put your seatbelt on, sweetheart. Alex: *clicks it in places* Soap: You are not safe!

-- (Sucking dick joke) Kidnapper: You’re gonna do as I say or I will make you regret ever being born. Y/N: Oh please, I’ve sucked dicks more intimidating than you. Soap: Oh this is why Simon was the way he was after we rescued you both last time.

-- Soap, shoving marshmallows in his mouth: This isn’t very ha-*chokes* MILF!Y/N, across the fucking base: ….*mom instinct* Price: ??? Ghost: Uh- Y/N: Something just happened. Kyle: PFFT-

-- MILF!Y/N: *letting Soap & Gaz lean on her while Price and Ghost stand close behind* Untrue. I’m a mother now. It’s really changed my perspective. Graves: And do you find it hard juggling life and a career? Y/N: You can juggle these nuts.

-- Soap: *rambling* Soap: Agh, sorry, I’m just goin’ on and on- Ghost: Oi, keep talking before I kick your ass. Soap: ….. Gaz: See? This is exactly what I m-where the fuck are these flower petals coming from?? ARE THOSE SPARKLES??

[mayflora-18]

Incorrect CoD Quotes #11 (aka Shit I Found On Pinterest That I Thought Was Funny)

*during secure transmission with Shepherd and Graves*

Graves, singing: 🎵 Sherlock, Sherlock, Sherlock… 🎵

Sherlock: …

Graves: 🎵 Are you finally single? 🎵

Sherlock: No.

Graves: 🎵 I respect that. 🎵

———

*in a hostage situation at a store*

Sherlock: Yeah, there’s four of them and only one of me, but I have a lighter. Okay, we get some hairspray, make some flamethrowers, and let’s fry these bitches!

Ghost, deadpan: No one is frying any bitches.

Sherlock: …

Ghost: I know, I’m disappointed in myself, too.

———

Yuri: I know Makarov, and you’re in far more danger than I. He’s coming for you. And I guarantee that his soldiers will find this place.

Sherlock: Not gonna happen. I rent it out under a shell corporation.

Nikolai: Yeah.

Sherlock: My mail goes to a P.O. box in Seattle.

Nikolai: Yeah.

Sherlock: My neighbors think my name is Rachel Fletcher.

Nikolai: Yeah.

Sherlock: People I work with all think my name is Sherlock.

Nikolai: Yea-

Yuri:

Laswell:

141:

Roach: Wait what?

Sherlock: Don’t worry about it.

———

Price: Sanderson, you’re fine. Just be yourself.

Roach: “Be myself”? Captain, I have one day to win over Sherlock and Kyle. *gestures to everyone else* How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Soap: Couple weeks.

Ghost: Six months.

Laswell: Jury’s still out.

Roach: See, sir? “Be myself”, what kind of garbage advice is that?

———

Makarov: Go to hell.

Soap: Already been. Didn’t agree with me.

———

Nikolai: We didn’t do it.

Price: Then why are you guys laughing?

Sherlock, grinning: Because whoever did it is an effing genius.

———

Graves: Just trust me.

Shepherd: The last time you said that my house burned down.

Graves: Yeah, but you didn’t die.

Shepherd: That’s not the point!

———

Alex: Should I ask why you have a knife in your purse?

Farah: It’s a dagger, actually. And no, you shouldn’t.

———

Krueger: Sir, we’re surrounded.

Nikolai: Excellent, we can attack in any direction!

Krueger: -_-

———

*Gaz beating some asshole up*

Sherlock: Oh, don’t blame them. They did their best to try to kill me.

Gaz:

Roach: O.O

———

Graves: If it wasn’t totally unethical, I would definitely blackmail you with this.

Alejandro: *eye twitching* Because you’re a shining beacon of ethics, right?

———

Nikolai: Oh, look at all the pretties!

Sherlock: *grabs his hand and pulls him away* Can you please stop talking about assault rifles the same way I talk about shoes?

———

*Ghost, Soap, and Rudy break into the old prison to free Los Vaqueros and Sherlock, only for Rudy to find the latter in the kitchen hunched over with a sandwich in her mouth*

Rudy: Camarada, what are you doing?

Sherlock: *muffled by the sandwich* …Eating.

Rudy: You’re being held hostage and you decide to raid the kitchen?

Sherlock: They didn’t say the fridge was off limits.

———

Laswell: Is that blood?

Price: No?

Laswell: That is not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.

———

Gaz: Are you clinically insane, or incredibly annoying?

Sherlock: I don’t know, probably both.

———

Ghost: How are you feeling?

Soap: I think you broke my fingers.

Ghost: Better your fingers than your face.

———

*Sherlock and Alejandro detained in the same room*

Alejandro: What’s our exit strategy?

Sherlock: Our what?

Alejandro: Dios mío, we’re all going to die.

———

Roach: *swinging his legs back and forth * Sitting around, waiting to get kidnapped. This is the best day ever.

~Later~

Roach: This is the third time I’ve been kidnapped this WEEK. It’s getting old.

———

Price, about Roach: Look, he’s smiling. He’s totally fine.

Ghost: Sir, he’s smiling because he’s terrified.

Roach, “smiling”: 😬

———

Gaz: Did you bring us here to die?

Nikolai: Obviously.

Gaz:

Gaz: I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.

———

Nikolai: Is it still murder if I give them a heads up?

Sherlock: That’s called a threat.

Nikolai: Черт возьми.

(Черт возьми = Damn it)

———

Valeria: Nothing ever pleases you does it?

Alejandro: Nothing you do.

———

Graves: I know there was a compliment somewhere in there and I’ll take it.

Soap: You piece of shite.

Graves: Ah, there it is!

———

*talking about Valeria*

Alejandro: Oooh, she’s angry.

Rudy: How can you tell?

Alejandro: Well, you can see her mood by her hands. Like right now, she has a gun. I don’t think that she’s happy to see us.

Valeria: 🔫😡

———

Graves: Listen up, fives. A ten is speaking.

141:

Laswell:

Nikolai:

Sherlock:

Alex:

Farah:

Graves: Farah, can we talk, one ten to another?

Farah: I’m an eleven, but continue.

[shveris]

incorrect quotes collection, part 2

sashisu + first years (nanami, haibara, ijichi)

part 1 part 3

shoko: suguru, would you please not satoru this into a situation worse than it already-

satoru: the fuck, did you just use my name as a verb

satoru: at least whatever the fuck is wrong with me is really really funny

shoko: satoru won’t come out of his room

suguru: just tell him i said something

shoko: like what?

suguru: anything factually incorrect

shoko, shrugging: if you say so

satoru, arriving moments later: did you just say the sun is a PLANET?

shoko: schrödinger’s cat is overrated. if you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day

nanami: we call that “traumatic event”

nanami, turning to suguru: not a “major L”

nanami, turning to shoko: not a “bruh moment”

nanami, turning to haibara: not “unpog”

nanami, turning to satoru: and definitely not “OOF LMAO”

suguru, entering the kitchen: is something burning???

satoru: *leaning seductively over the kitchen counter* just my love and desire for you

suguru: satoru the fucking toaster is on fire

satoru: i think we should kiss

suguru: and i think we should commit genocide on all non-shamans but we don’t always get what we want

suguru: name a more iconic duo than my incapability of taking care of myself and my insomnia. i’ll wait.

satoru: you and me!!!

suguru, tearing up: okay

satoru: remember when you didn’t try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

suguru: stop romanticizing the past

shoko: i don’t think yaga-sensei is very happy with you

satoru: what?

suguru: what do you mean?

shoko, stepping closer to the fridge: “dear suguru, dear satoru, i hope this message finds you before i do” wow that’s a threatening piece of paper for sure

satoru: you’re the love of my life and my best friend, i would do anything for you

suguru: i want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule

satoru: absolutely not

suguru: okay, truth or dare?

satoru: truth

suguru: how many hours have you slept this week?

satoru:

satoru: ... dare

suguru: go to bed

satoru: i don’t like this game

suguru: i want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

satoru: i go to bed at 4am, wake up at 7am and work until 4am

suguru:

suguru: i want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

(the last 3 are based on gojo satoru's official time table)

yaga: how many kids do you have?

satoru: biologically, emotionally, or legally?

yaga: why do i feel like you forgot the “illegally”…

suguru: if you can’t beat them, dress better than them

shoko: and look where that got you…

satoru: 112 dead people

satoru:

satoru: I TAKE IT BACK I TAKE IT BACK DON'T THROW THE RING THAT WAS EXPENSIVE-

shoko: we need to open this locked door. satoru, give me your credit card

satoru: here

shoko, pocketing it: thanks. suguru, break down the door

satoru: i need your help

shoko: the last time you needed my help we were stuck in the limbo for three days

yaga: there are seven chairs and ten kids. what do you do?

suguru: have everyone stand

nanami: bring three more chairs

haibara: go to another room with more chairs

shoko: the most important ones can sit down

satoru: kill three

ijichi: do you have any skeletons in your closet?

shoko: you mean literally or figuratively?

ijichi: honestly, the fact that i have to specify...

satoru: why are you on the floor?

suguru: i’m depressed

suguru: also, i was stabbed. can you get shoko please?

*playing chess*

satoru: *easily beats everyone because he knows how to play*

nanami: *doesn’t know the rules, but wins anyway*

ijichi: *doesn’t know the rules, and loses*

suguru: *knows the rules, but still loses to those who don’t*

shoko: actually, you can’t do that, because i said so

haibara: they named a board game after cheese?

satoru: suguru, what are you doing tomorrow?

suguru: having my day ruined by whatever you’re about to ask me to do

satoru: my life is a mess

shoko: toru relax, go get a beer

satoru: i don’t even like beer

shoko: who said it was for you?

*ijichi and suguru are in a car teetering on the edge of a cliff*

ijichi: oh my god! geto-san, backwards!

suguru, on the verge of losing his shit: really, ijichi? i thought i might go forwards into the river, i thought that would be a fun thing to do

satoru: am i right, sho?

shoko: i’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, i wasn’t listening

satoru: *trying to buy a father's day card*

satoru: excuse me, do you have any that just say "you are my dad"?

associate: well, i-

satoru: how about "you banged my mom"?

associate: no…

satoru: you know what, i'll just get a blank one

satoru: *writes* you are a father. this is a day. here is a card.

(bonus because i recently rewatched snapcube's shadow fandub and this is my fav line)

toji: let's see, the best way to make money is killing that star plasma vessel girl...

toji: *sees satoru and suguru together*

toji: new idea. adultery.

part 3 is already in the works lmao

[sleepybabybees]

Incorrect quotes return ✨️

Why? Simply because I can't sleep.

Ghost: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!

Price: Tubular AF!

Gaz: Mood to the max!

Soap, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

Laswell, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.

----

Ghost: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Price: Have everyone stand.

Gaz: Bring three more chairs!

Soap: The most important ones can sit down.

Laswell: Kill three.

---

Laswell: Anyone d-

Ghost: Depressed?

Gaz: Drained?

Soap: Dumb?

Price: Disliked?

Laswell: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...

---

Ghost: What’s something you guys are better than Price at?

Gaz: Mario Kart.

Soap: Yeah, video games.

Laswell: Emotional vulnerability.

---

Ghost: I’m an idiot.

Price:

Gaz:

Soap:

Laswell:

Ghost:

Price: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

---

Oryn: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?

Eskell: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

Oryn: but what’s the first worst thing?

*Awkward pause*

Eskell: Oryn, they...they weren’t always orphans.

Oryn:

---

Oryn: Eskell...

Eskell: Oh no, 'Eskell' in b-flat.

Eskell: You're disappointed.

---

Oryn: Violence isn't the answer.

Eskell: You’re right.

Oryn: *sighs in relief*

Eskell: Violence is the question.

Oryn: What?

Eskell, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Oryn, running after him: NO-

---

Oryn: *Screams*

Eskell: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Graves: Should we do something?

Price: No, I want to see who wins.

---

Price: Why are Oryn and Eskell sitting with their backs to each other?

Graves: They had a fight.

Price: Then why are they holding hands?

Graves: They get sad when they fight.

---

Oryn: I think we're missing something.

Eskell: Teamwork?

Graves: Cohesion?

Price: A general sense of what we’re doing?

---

Farah: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Alex: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Ghost: I got distracted about halfway through.

Soap: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

---

Farah: Listen, I can explain...

Alex: You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000?

Ghost: You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000!

Soap: You guys are getting paid?

---

Farah: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Alex: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Ghost: I personally was created in a lab.

Soap: I just straight up spawned lol.

---

Farah: Go to Hell

Alex, tearing up: I wish I could

---

Farah: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Alex: *chugs entire bottle*

Alex: It’s perfume.

---

Nikolai: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Price: I do have a sense of humor you know

Nikolai: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Price: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

---

Nikolai: I'm a reverse necromancer.

Price: Isn't that just killing people?

Nikolai: Ah, technicality.

---

Nikolai: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Price: Twelve, actually.

Nikolai: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Price: Yours!

Nikolai: That's right: no one's.

---

Nikolai: I made tea.

Price: I don’t want tea.

Nikolai: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Price: Then why are you telling me?

Nikolai: It is a conversation starter.

Price: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Nikolai: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

---

Gaz: Why are you on the floor?

Price: I'm depressed.

Price: Also I was stabbed, can you get Nikolai, please.

---

Nikolai: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Price: The car takes a screenshot.

Gaz: For the last time, get the fuck out.

---

*Nikolai and Price sitting in jail together*

Price: So who should we call?

Nikolai: I’d call Gaz, but I feel safer in jail...so I'm going to call kate-

Price: good call-

---

Nikolai: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Price: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Gaz: In that case, we're definitely lost.

---

Laswell: Just be yourself.

Price: 'Be myself'? Kate, I have one day to win Nikolai over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Soap: Couple weeks.

Gaz: Six months.

Ghost: Jury’s still out.

Price: See, Kate?

Price: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

---

Nikolai: We need to distract these guys

Price: Leave it to me

Price: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Gaz, Soap, and Laswell: *Immediately begin arguing*

Ghost, watching in horror: Oh, this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

---

'Can I copy the homework?'

Nikolai: I can help you with it!

Price: Yeah, sure.

Gaz: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Soap: lol nope.

Laswell: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Ghost: *Read 5:55pm*

---

Nikolai: Croissants: dropped

Price: Road: works ahead

Gaz: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Soap: Shavacado: fre

Laswell: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Ghost:

Ghost, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that, and I hate every single one of you.

---

Alejandro: I prevented a murder today.

Rudy: Really? How’d you do that?

Alejandro: self control.

---

Alejandro: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Ghost: my dad would argue yes.

Soap: yes

Gaz: if you wanna see it that way, sure

Rudy: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

---

Alejandro: I was thinking I'd do some magic-

Rudy: You? Magic? Alejandro, it says talent show.

---

Alejandro: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Rudy?

Rudy: … No.

Valeria: I do!

Alejandro: I know, Valeria.

Valeria: I’m El Sin Nombre!

Alejandro: I know, Valeria.

---

Alejandro: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Rudy: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Valeria: Smad.

---

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Rudy please come to the front desk?

Rudy, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Alejandro and Valeria

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Alejandro and Valeria, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Rudy: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me