#I think it would take a few encounters to really get zim to get over the biggest cringe he’s ever had

[fourteenpigs]

Had fun reading ur tags here’s this

Honestly fuck this I might actually have to get help from yall because ZADR FEELS SO IMPOSSIBLE I CANT WRAP MY HEAD AROUND IT. Like the closest they can get there is being somewhat mutual with each other like they’re friends but they’re still eating each others faces off when something comes up (ultra competitive dynamic)

But like this is the only outcome I can think of if something even close would happen

I hope u like this little comic btw

[refried-ghost]

The work was endless. 777 had known it would be, he'd encountered empire slaves before. The food was slop. Hardly edible but had all the nutrients a Vortian would need. It was designed to starve. Typically this sort of thing was reserved as punish. But he supposed they were being punished.

He fought Lard Nar way back then. It devolved into a fist fight. He couldn't keep his cold. They'd been informed of Zim's blob. Knew how excited he'd been to show it off to the Tallest. Seen how hungry for praise he was. And yet they still brought the fucking generator.

He attempted to have the Irken keep it in it's containment unit and had management to convince him until the head scientist threw him an insult.

The neutralizer shattered on the ground as he was bumped by a guard. 777 watched it devour them.

They hadn't ready any sort of safety measures on their end. The head scientist was dead. Lard Nar was in charge and he pointed at Zim. Claimed it was his fault solely. He was the problem. The Defect that ruined his life's work.

Noone was thinking clearly. The Tallest died on Vort. The Head Scientist was also dead and the blob was wrecking havock.

Zim reappeared nervously more of the neutralizing agent in hand. But-

Zim disappeared during his slumber without a word. It hurt. It really did. But despite his parental bond with the Irken he knew he wasn't a smeet. He couldn't stay there. On Vort with him. He'd be found out. It wouldn't change Vort's fate. But he wanted to go with the Irken. Keep him safe. It wouldn't work. Not with how closely monitored they were.

He cried in his partner's arms. He never told them what happened on the research station. No 777 would never put it into words, even if he himself had to take the fall.

Filtered water dripped from the Irken's ceremonial uniform as 777 turned off the hose. The Irken pouted with his arms crossed.

"So..." The Vortian started. "You're enjoying this?" Confusion clear on his face. Zim puffed up.

"Of course not!" He said a little to quickly a faint blush dusting his cheeks.

"You know there are showers right?"

He looked disgusted at the suggestion. "What of it? You're the one interrupting Zim's work!" He kicked his far too light tool box.

"Yeah, sure sure. That's why you only come here when I'm cleaning." He clicked the nozzle into place and struggle out of the pack. "And why we just chat when you're getting sprayed."

The Irken looked off to the side. His jaw twitched.

"You-" his expression complicated. Battling himself. He looked at the Vortian with a pleading expression. That quickly morphed to a more normal displeasure as someone passed. His eyes followed them. "I'm busy," Zim said, pulling himself back into his more typically confident posture. He picked up the empty tool box and walked away.

777 watched him. "It's fine, you know," he called after. "I don't mind! Really!"

Zim paused and glanced back at the strange Vortian. The nod was small, at the time 777 wondered if he imagined it. But they slipped back into that routine quickly.

It morphed though over time. They'd eat together. 777 would show Zim areas he'd never seen before. They talked about nothing and everything. And Zim began to open up about things. Possibly unwittingly. But 777 listened as he always did.

Eventually he figured out that's what the look was about. Zim wanted to be heard. Without show off or acting out. He didn't want to have to prove himself to every single person he came across. Some people sure, but he needed someone, anyone to acknowledge him. And 777 had that first day Zim tried to work on the Massive. He continued to on a consistent basis.

He wasn't sure when he started think of Zim as his. Maybe it was when he'd started mentoring Zim off the clock. Sure 777 wasn't as well verse in Zim's field, few were, but he could teach him about his own field. And he had his hand in a lot of projects. The Head Scientist chastised him for it. He didn't care.

At some point he'd slipped up and called Zim his son. The Irken reacted, but didn't correct him.

The next time they talked Lard Nar had calmed down. Sometime had passed. He had time to think things over. He didn't apologize, but he admitted he handled things poorly. He mourned the Massive. He mourned Miyuki. They mourned what was to come in silence.

Lard Nar teetered between fleeing, forming a resistance, and the foolish thought that they were in the clear. 777 didn't keep in contact.

Spork was eaten by the Blob. It was likely too big for what they could make of the neutralizer. It was too unpredictable and stealthy.

Vort had been named in Operation Impending Doom 1. Zim messaged him personally. It wasn't a surprise. But it was kept under wraps.

He and his partner had pups. Most didn't make it that wasn't unusual. Three did though, video called Zim on Foodcourtia. Showed them in their incubator. The Irken was displeased. He wasn't surprised by the reaction.

They knew someone leaked the list of planets mark for conquest, so the Tallest decided to make a show of it the second time around. Though he'd heard from Zim they had a thing for theatrics, so maybe the only difference was the hardly secured broadcast.

Larb had been found out more then once having to get better and better with each of his disguises. Obviously he'd only heard the couch part and hadn't bothered to remember Vort was where his weapons were made.

He succeeded in the end. Not a surprise. A decent part of the population basically worshipped Miyuki. And it wasn't hard for Larb to get them on his side after he actually researched. They were naive. Not realizing that Irk fully blamed them for two of their Tallests deaths. And 777 didn't really think Irk was all that wrong about what happened. But he knew what was about to happen.

He sent his children off to Zim. His partner attacked him for it. He simply accepted it.

Larb kept to his word. Keeping most of the population alive. The planetary sweep was done in stages allowing the Armada to flood the planet with soldiers rounding Vortians up. Eventually it was done and they were returned to the planet turned prison.

[zims-left-shoe]

Hey!! Was wondering if I could get some Dib x reader where the reader is a really ‘popular’ likeable kid at skool and Dib has liked them for a while but feels they’re “unattainable”? (Basically every high school romance movie ever lol) thanks!

I had a lot of fun with this one! It ended up being longer than I thought it would haha. 

It was a crisp autumn day, dead leaves crunching under your feet. Although it was dry in the moment, there was this feeling in the air that threatened a downpour. You stood behind your friends when they came to a stop, watching them with your hands stuffed deep in your pockets, feet shifting, the only sign to display your discomfort. Your eyes followed the notebook that was being tossed between your friends, a simple black spiral book, appearance only made special by the strange eye symbol scribbled in paint marker that adorned the front. Wicked cackles escaped your friends as they continued to throw the book around as if it were a football. 

"Give it back!" Ah. And then there was Dib. The strange boy in your class that went on and on about aliens and saving the earth from Zim, your other absurd classmate. He took another jump, swiping his arm out in a desperate attempt to reclaim what was his. His fingers gently grazed the binding, only to be yanked back by his trench coat at the hands of Torque Smacky. This was what qualified as a middle school prank. Admittedly, you had thought it was a bit funny at first. That was until your friends began to run to the edge of campus, spitting hurtful words back at the clearly unathletic Dib, who was wheezing and struggling to keep up with your group. 

"Soulstealers? Chupacabras? You are actually insane." Jessica laughed as she flipped through what seemed to be his personal supernatural journal.

"This is why nobody likes you, Dib. You're a freak." Smacky shoved him hard, his body colliding with the chainlink fence. You winced at the rattling it caused and the look in his eyes as he hunkered down into himself, slouching against the fence. The one thing you could say about him was that he was not one to give up easily, if at all. And yet, he looked defeated, deciding to take the lickings and wait until they lost interest. You couldn't take it anymore. 

You were always well liked by everyone. Everyone adored you and your pleasant attitude, always gravitating towards and revolving around you as if you were their sun. And although you stood behind those that you called your friends, you couldn't just sit there and watch how they treated Dib. He was definitely out there, sure, and maybe you didn't understand everything he said, but there was a line you had to draw. He was never hurting anyone. If he wanted to believe in aliens, who were you to stop him?

"Guys, that's enough. Knock it off." You spoke up for the first time in that encounter, snatching the book from Jessica's hands. Your friends, whom most would label as 'the popular crowd', all stared at you. Not necessarily in anger. More so shock. "Here." You tossed the notebook back to him, lips moving in a silent 'I'm sorry'. His hands fumbled the book, almost dropping it as he too stared at you with disbelief. Why would you help him? Weren't you friends with those who antagonized him?

"Thanks-"

"Shut it. Just feel lucky they stepped in." Smacky retreated a few feet back from him, glaring at him all the while.

"Let's go. It was getting boring anyways." Jessica turned swiftly on her heel, every one of your friends following her. Glancing one more time at Dib, you nodded to him, a movement that was so slight it was barely noticeable. Without another word, you jogged after your friends, catching up with them quickly.

Dib was left standing there, still leaning against the fence, notebook still clutched close to his chest. His mind was now full of questions, which was no different from its usual state. Why would you be nice to him? No one was ever nice to him. Especially not the popular kids. He began to wonder if, maybe, just maybe, you weren't as bad as the kids you spent your time with.

-

High school. Sometimes media would try and convince you that it was supposed to be some magical experience that would change your life, that your entire character could be rebuilt from the ground up. If that were completely true, why had everything remained an almost exact carbon copy of the way it's been since your earlier days? Sure, you had changed a little bit. Different music taste, new style, trivial things like that. But, your friends and position on the social ladder? Exactly the same. You had stayed in the popular pool, friends still adoring you, and despite questioning their actions and morals many a time, you adored them as well. If anything, you were more popular than ever.

Dib had also remained the same. Always squabbling with Zim, causing a scene, being made fun of and ostracized daily. He was still the local loser, but at this point he was owning it. He never did have the patience to be someone he was not. That was one thing you admired about him, one thing you could never be. You didn't think anyone you were close to could ever truly be themselves. The only thing that felt different about him was his more 'fuck you' attitude to those who antagonized him. He still wouldn't fight back, but he had developed a tougher skin, almost paying no mind to any insults. He knew what was right in his mind, if no one would believe him, their loss. 

Over the years, you had many classes with Dib. You had grown rather fond of him, at the very least he believed in something that wasn't ridiculously vapid. And, despite coming off as a bit of a nervous dork in some instances, he was surprisingly self-assured, for the most part. You were proud to admit to yourself that you looked forward to see him almost every day. 

Twisting the knob on the classroom door, you let yourself in, eyes resting on the familiar dark-haired nerd, his face taken up by the same large glasses he's had for as long as you could remember. Waving, you approached his table, watching him straighten up almost immediately.

"Morning, Dib. How're you doing?" You always liked to ask him how things were going for him, knowing that he never was given concern very often. No one in your class would ask him how his life was, his sister, at least to you, seemed to not care, and from what you knew, his dad was some prestigious scientist that was always busy. 

"Hey, Y/n. And, um, I'm doing alright! What about you?" His smile was bright, cheeks just the slightest bit flushed as he drummed his fingers on the tabletop. You felt a giggle escape you as you witnessed this. Every morning, despite having the exact same routine, he always seemed to be taken aback that you were asking how he was doing, that you were even the tiniest amount of invested in his life. 

"Fine, I guess. What about your ghosts and aliens?" You weren't sure that you believed in all of that crap, but if he took an interest in it and he wasn't harming anyone, who were you to stop him? "Oh, and I want an update on that werewolf you found in your trash." Remembering the story he had told you yesterday, you figured you would ask for a follow up to show your genuine encouragement.

"Oh, that! Uh, well...it turns out it was just some really hairy homeless guy rummaging through our garbage, but...as for aliens, I watched Zim's robot eat a baby. That was equal parts disturbing and intriguing." He shuddered, having flashbacks to whatever went down last night. 

"His dog that he brought to pet day last year?" Thinking back to that day, it was a little strange. All hell broke loose, his dog going absolutely insane. It was a blessing he didn't end up destroying the entire school. Only the east wing. Lady luck was on your side that day, that was for sure. 

“Yeah, GIR. The lip smacking noises really made it horrible." A cringe settled onto his features, and you felt it spreading to yourself as well. As much as you didn't believe that Zim was an alien (he was definitely odd and uncomfortable, that you would admit), you could see his dog consuming a human child.

"Geez. I'm sorry I asked." A chuckle fell from your lips, wishing to move past the disturbing imagery brought on by his response. Luckily for you, your teacher had announced the start of class, sending you back to your seat without having to think of a subject change. 

"Tired of your charity work yet?" Jessica asked as you sat down in your usual seat across from her. Pressing your lips in a tight line, you pulled out your notebook and pencil, choosing to ignore her comment. You had always hated the abysmal way your friends treated Dib. So what if he was a bit weird? You felt bad for him, he had no one to talk to besides Zim, and he ate lunch with his sister every day. "Come on, please don't tell me you actually want to be his friend."

"I never said that...it's just...he seems so lonely." Ever since you could remember, you had been surrounded by friends. It was near impossible to hate you. You had never known what it was like to be all on your own, cursed to be a lone wolf. To you, it seemed that being alone was all Dib had ever experienced.

"He deserves it. He's a freak." Her answers were short and snappy as she tired of the subject. 

"Does he?" Did anyone deserve to be lonely solely for being a little off beat? You were the only one of your friends, hell, even the whole school, who seemed to disagree with her notion. The social outcasts and rejects wouldn't even associate with him. 

"Look, Y/n. I like you, I really do. We're friends. We have been for a long time. But if you become his friend, people are going to start talking." Your gaze fell to the tabletop, tired of this not-quite-argument. "You're too nice. I know you pity him, but think about your standing here. Popularity comes with a price."

"I didn't ask to be popular, okay? And at least if I were his friend, my social circle wouldn't be full of a bunch of dicks and stuck up bitches!" You spat, patience completely snapping. Jessica sat in a stunned silence, her eyes wide. That was the first time you had ever actively stood up to her. After a moment, you realized you were just a tad harsh, although she did deserve it. She was still your friend after all, and in her own twisted way, she was trying to look out for you. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"We can talk about it later at lunch. Just calm down, alright?" Jessica brushed stray strands of blonde hair behind her ear, sticking her nose deep in her textbook for the first time in months. Sighing deeply, your eyes drifted to Dib's seat. His glance had already been on you, so you had managed to catch his eyes. His shoulders tensed from being caught staring, color creeping up his neck to his face. Before he could turn away, your lips quirked into a slight smile as you waved to him. It took him a second to register, but he returned the wave, a dorky grin plastered on his face. Again, you just couldn't see what was so bad about him.

"Dib, I swear to god, do you ever listen to me when I speak? You break my immersion-"

"You break my face. Yeah, I know." I laid on the couch, watching my sister play whatever VR game she was into at the time. All I did was start to ask her a question, I had barely gotten one syllable out before she cut me off. "It's important, I swear."

"Let me guess, Zim is eating waffles again?" Her voice was irritated, and I'm sure inside that head of hers she was wishing me to be dead. 

"No, actually-"

"He's hiding in his toilet? Ooh, or maybe he's trying to work the toaster." Okay, so maybe I interrupt her for admittedly meaningless things sometimes. Fine, a lot of the times.

"This has nothing to do with Zim!" Now I had her attention. She hesitated for just the slightest second before she resumed playing again.

"Oh? This had better be good, Dib." Her voice was no longer threatening, rather it held curiosity. Although she would never say it to my face, she was intrigued by what I had to say. 

"I need advice." Now, normally Gaz would be the last person on earth I would go to for this kind of thing, but I had already tried my dad, and lesson learned, never seek romantic advice from a man who is married to science. So, I had already exhausted pretty much all of my options. The internet was surprisingly not much help either.

"On what? How to stop bothering your sister?" Her words didn't match her tone at all. Besides, I knew that if she really wanted me out, she would remove me by force. I was suddenly beginning to wonder if this was a bad idea. After all, Gaz was very much...how to put this lightly...not romantically inclined. Still, she was my only hope at this point, and really, all I needed was someone to vent to. 

"I was thinking more along the lines of cliché high school romance?" My voice became higher and quieter as the sentence went on, and I was just barely cut off by Gaz's groan. Despite her attitude, she powered off her headset out of her own volition, which meant she was definitely interested in whatever I had to say. I pushed myself to where I was sitting up, Gaz falling back onto the couch next to me. 

"You're joking, right? You're asking me for advice?" I couldn't believe it either.

"Just hear me out?"

Fine. But if it's stupid I'm leaving." I already knew she wouldn't say no, but she still had to pretend it was a chore to listen to me.

"Okay, so you know Y/n, right?"

"The popular kid? They're so out of your league, Dib." She sounded condescending yet not surprised. I figured she had caught me staring at them at lunch multiple times. I had probably been pretty obvious about it. Thinking about that made me cringe, because Y/n most likely knows I stare at them all the time. If they didn't already hate me before, I'm sure they do now, they probably think I'm some sort of creepy stalker. Well, that's not the worst thing I've been called at school, so I'll take it, I guess.

"I know! And I told myself I wasn't going to fall for them, but I did. They actually talk to me though! Every morning in first period, and they wave to me in the halls, and god they have the cutest smile-"

"Dib! Okay! I get it, you're in love or whatever."

"I never said I was in love! It's just a crush. There's a difference." I watched her roll her eyes so hard I thought she might be transported to another dimension. Even I knew deep down I was lying through my teeth. All the little things had made me fall deeper into whatever my infatuation with Y/n was. Every glance, every little quip, every greeting...they all made my heart flutter and I would feel sick to my stomach every time I thought about them. It was a satisfying kind of sick, though. I knew I had been carrying these feelings for a long time. They had always been the first, if not the only, person to stand up for me when the teasing became too much. Of course I was going to fall in love, what else was to be expected?

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say. But, do you even talk to them? No, you don't."

"So?" She was right. I never went out of my way to approach them. We would share short and simple conversations, but only when they spoke to me first. I was always too scared. They were the only person who could make me nervous and doubt myself anymore. The reasonable part of me told me that if I just went up to them, they would welcome the conversation. But, something was always stopping me. I held them on a pedestal, so much so that I believed making any move at all to be impossible. Y/n for me is unattainable, someone I was never meant to have. They were part of the untouchables, the most popular and worshiped kids in school. I'm just the freakshow who attracts all the wrong kinds of attention. And yet, something was pushing me to just reach for it.

"You're going to shoot your shot, aren't you." Her voice was flat. It wasn't a question. Rather, a statement that we both already knew to be true. 

"Well, you know what they say. If you shoot for the moon, you're bound to at least land among the stars."

"I don't think that applies to this, unless your version of 'among the stars' is being taken out behind the school and beaten until you see stars." Ah, Gaz. Always so encouraging. What would I do without her?

"Do you think it's a bad idea?"

"Of course! It's a terrible idea! But, it would be kind of funny to watch..." A smirk crept onto her face, which would have been unnerving if my thoughts weren't already racing to think of how I would even accomplish this. 

"So, you're in?"

"I would never miss a chance to watch someone kick the shit out of you."

-

Without a doubt, you were spaced out. To the point where you barely noticed what had been left behind in your locker, almost crushing it with your multiple textbooks. 

"What the...?" You pulled out a small bouquet of flowers and a note from your locker, even more confused than when you first saw it. For starters, you weren't sure how it had gotten in there in the first place. You were sure it was locked and that no one knew the combo. Unless someone broke into it with brute strength or some advanced skillset. If that wasn't enough to drive you crazy, the note was anonymous. No name, no nothing. It was typed as well, so you couldn't even analyze the handwriting if you wanted to. The contents of the note contained a love confession, and you weren't quite sure where to even begin with suspects. There were many people who had crushes on you, some even within your own friend group. Even still, the note was odd. It sounded like nobody in particular, the wordage making it seem like it could be from anyone and no one at the same time.

"Hey, Y/n. What'cha got there?" Jessica came up behind you, eyeing the flowers with intrigue. The two of you were back to being on good terms. This was how your friendship normally worked, for as long as you could remember anyway. 

"A secret admirer, apparently." You mumbled, handing her the note to read. Clearly, the person had no intention of outing themselves. They were hoping for you to catch on. From the tone in the note, you guessed it had to come from someone who felt they had no place in confessing. That could be anyone, for literally any reason. Maybe they were your best friend, or a social reject. 

"No way! We have to find out who this is."

"I dunno, they seem to be trying really hard to keep their identity a secret."

"But what if it's someone hot?" She poked you in the side, her face pleading with you to let her assist in finding out who left the gift as she passed the note back to you.

"But what if it's Zim?" You doubted it was him. As far as you were concerned, you pretended he didn't exist, and he seemed to hate your guts, which was completely fine by you. The two of you burst out laughing as you put the flowers back in your locker so you could retrieve them after school. "But, maybe I don't want to know."

"Lame." She huffed as you began your walk to class. You folded the note, stuffing it deep in your pocket. You hated that you knew you wouldn't be able to let this go. You felt the need to solve the mystery. Although you had no clue where to even begin, there was one person you hoped it would be from. He was your main suspicion, even though a part of you wondered if that was due to wishing for it to be so.

"Can we please just be lowkey about this? If I decide to pursue this, I want to keep it hushed. Word spreads like wildfire here."

-

Well, you were absolutely right about one thing. Word travels fast in high school, especially if it's drama. Left and right, you had people asking if you had found the unknown Romeo who had broke into your locker. You were disappointed but not surprised. You had expected Jessica to talk. Her lips were about as tightly sealed as a window in summertime. So far, everyone had their own theories. The wildest one you had heard was that it was from one of your teachers. You were immediately disgusted with that, and how desperately you desired to unhear that statement. 

Nevertheless, you had started to feel more confident in your own personal favorite guess. There had been one certain individual who was particularly silent through the whole matter, almost uncharacteristically so. 

Lunch time. The perfect time to gain confirmation of your theory. Tray of borderline unedible garbage in hand, you strode to your usual table, which seated all of the school's finest and most elite in terms of the social ladder. Instead of taking a seat like everyone expected, you continued to walk, not stopping until you reached the very last table in the back, which sat only two: the Membrane kids. Setting your tray down, you took a seat across from Dib, who stared in utter shock and amazement. The sister looked up from her Game Slave, glance so brief you weren't entirely sure if it had even happened. Without a word, she rose from her seat, leaving the lunch room completely, most likely to continue playing in the hallway. Let's face it, no one was going to eat the shit they served anyway. You hoped he would say something, anything that would be incriminating. However, only the usual din of the cafeteria could be heard, the occasional murmur of your table switch slipping through. 

You couldn't handle any more of the surrounding clatter of trays, laughter, and indecipherable words, so you decided to speak. "Hey, Dib. You like mysteries, right?" The poor boy looked helpless, red up to the tips of his ears, eyes refusing to meet yours. 

"Sure..." You could feel his knee bumping the table as he bounced his leg at about a hundred miles per minute. You had him right where you wanted him, and he knew it. You both did. In that moment, you knew it was him. It had to be. He was acting even stranger than usual. Based on his behavior, he knew you had cracked the case. Thinking back, it should have been fairly obvious from the beginning. 

"Well, something strange happened this morning. And since mysteries are kind of your thing, I was wondering if you could help me?" You were trying to coax him into saying the words you needed so desperately to hear. And yet, he was so stubborn.

"Alright, I could, you know, give it a go, I guess." Maybe he wasn't stubborn, maybe this was him playing out his last hope that you still were clueless on who it could be.

"I found something interesting in my locker this morning. Some very pretty flowers and a lovely little note, but unfortunately, it was anonymous. So, I guess I have a secret admirer on my hands." By gauging his reaction, you could tell he wasn't about to relent any time soon. He nodded his head, lips pursed in a tight line.

"Well, that's a tough one." Vague answers, saying as little as possible. You were getting nowhere, and would be getting nowhere. He was really going to make you say it, wasn't he?

"Yes. I have my suspicions. Would you like to hear them?" He didn't respond at all, fingers drumming nervously on the table. He still wouldn't own up to it. You decided to give him one last chance to confess, saying no more and staring directly at him. Hoping the pressure would bring him to spill, you thought your breath would catch in your throat when he opened his mouth to speak.

"Did you do the math homework last night?" His voice was almost an octave higher than normal, and there was a slight wobble to it. You could only fix him with a glare. Unbelievable. He was trying to get out of this by changing the subject. There was no way in hell you were letting that happen.

"I know it's you, Dib."

"Oh...you do?" His voice was so soft and faint that you had to strain to hear it. His eyes fell to the floor, as if trying to will a wormhole to open beneath his feet to swallow him so he could be anywhere but there in that moment.

What Dib was expecting to happen was for laughter to spill from your lips, followed by you telling him that you could never in a thousand years like someone like him, that his chances were below zero. 

Some pearls of laughter did escape you, but it wasn't malicious. Even Dib, in his most insecure and vulnerable state could see that. Throughout the day, you were itching for this confrontation. You hoped it was him, you wanted it to be him. Not so you could throw it back in his face. This whole ordeal brought you to realize that you had somehow caught feelings for him as well. Your morning conversations about spooks, although mildly concerning at times, made your day, and you appreciated how passionate he was about his interests, even if you didn't completely understand them.

"Who knew you were such a dorky, hopeless romantic?" You didn't think it was possible, but the blush that stained his face darkened at your words that were broken by giggles. 

"So...you liked the flowers? Or were you just saying that?" His eyes finally met your own for the first time in what felt like ages. You could see he was slowly relaxing, although to him it probably felt as if he were still walking on eggshells. 

"Of course. I'll put them in my room when I get home." His lips pulled back into the cutest smile you had ever seen, and you thought your heart had melted on the spot. "Can I see your phone?" You blurted out, embarrassed of yourself. What ever happened to playing it cool?

"Should I be concerned?" A hint of worry crept into his voice, but regardless, he pushed his phone over to you. Taking it, you opened contacts and input your number, adding a small heart next to your name. As you glanced around the lunchroom, eyes had started to become glued to you. You had been sitting there much too long, and many were taking notice. Standing up, you slid the phone back to him, taking your uneaten tray in your hands.

"Call me sometime." Those were the final few words that were spoken as you made your way back to your usual table, leaving him to sit and stare in disbelief. As lunch drew to a close, you would shoot Dib occasional looks, waving happily whenever you caught his eyes. You let yourself dream that this was possibly the beginning of some blossoming high school romance. In your position, you had your pick of virtually anyone at your school. Nevertheless, you wouldn't have wanted anyone else to be your secret admirer. 

[vampirepiggyhunterdefensesquad]

all’s fair (1/?)

Summary: Gaz decides that she’s going to win the school’s paintball war and enjoy the all-you-can-eat pizza buffet from Bloaty’s afterwards. However, there is a certain green nuisance who’s standing in her way. . .

Gaz never listened in class, so naturally she didn't bother listening when Mr. Elliot began rambling about a school-wide event. She merely squinted at the game device under her desk, buttons clicking ever so slightly as her fingers tapped with expert dexterity. Even the flyer that was dropped beside her got crumpled and shoved into her backpack as soon as it touched the desk.

That meant it was only when Dib began talking about it on the way home from school that Gaz heard about the paintball war.

"I mean, what's the point? We already know Zim's just going to find a way to cheat. And the worst part is, he hates pizza anyway! He's just crazy about winning all the time--"

"What's pizza got to do with it?" Gaz scoffed, listening despite herself.

"C'mon, Gaz, weren't you listening? That's the prize! You get a coupon for a free sit down, all you can eat family dinner!"

Her eyes widened for a moment before she snorted. "Like Dad would take the night off for us to go anyway."

"And Zim doesn't even HAVE a family!" Dib continued, squeezing his hands into fists. "But when Miss Bitters told us about the paintball war, he got all excited and asked a bunch of STUPID questions, and--"

"Paintball?"

Dib's eyes swiveled towards her. "Well, yeah. And Zim thinks he's somehow got a chance of winning!"

Gaz turned her attention back to her game as Dib continued his rant all the way home. Outwardly, she was in the same zone as before, but inside the cogs in her brain were turning. Dad liked charity events. He might make an exception to his "one evening a year" rule of thumb. And all-you-can-eat pizza was something that caught her attention. A whole evening of video games and free pizza. . .

So Gaz may have stayed up a bit longer than usual perched on the sofa, drawing, but that didn't have to do with anything.

Around eleven-forty the front door swung open and Professor Membrane finally arrived home.

"Ah! Girl-child! Why are you still awake? You know that children require at least NINE HOURS of sleep in order to be well rested for the morning!"

Gaz ignored this. "Dad. If I won a paintball war my school put on for charity or whatever, and got us a coupon for a free sit-down dinner. You'd come, right?"

"Why, daughter, you know how busy I am with REAL SCIENCE!!" Membrane reached into the air, gesturing proudly and widely. "But I also deeply respect the art of PAINTBALL WARS! Why, as a boy, it was my favorite hobby."

"It was?"

"Of course!! Second to SCIENCE, of course." Membrane walked to the stairs, patting Gaz on the head lightly as he passed her. "I might take an interest in seeing this paintball war! When will it occur?"

Gaz, who had definitely not spent a chunk of time memorizing the information on the crumpled flyer from her bag, said "It's on Friday after school. We have a half day, so right after lunch."

"FRIDAY?" Membrane turned dramatically, clapping his hands to his head. "Why, Friday is the day we're organizing the data we've been collecting these past few weeks! It's merely busywork, and hardly science at all. I will certainly be able to visit your school that afternoon! And if you or your brother are able to win, I see no reason why we cannot have the dinner that evening!”

Gaz's mouth fell open. She hadn't expected it to be this easy. Family dinner, at her favorite restaurant, as long as she was able to destroy her opponents? This was the most perfect situation she'd ever encountered. Maybe the universe didn't hate her after all. . .

As Membrane thumped up the stairs in his big boots, Gaz couldn't keep the smile off her face. She dropped her sketchbook on the table and headed up to her room-- Dad was right, after all. She needed sleep if she was going to be in peak form come Friday.

 . . . . 

"So, uh, who are you and what have you done with Gaz?" Dib asked tentatively.

Gaz shoveled another spoonful of cereal in her mouth. "What do you mean."

"I MEAN, you just laughed at one of my jokes. And said, and I quote, 'nice'."

"What, I'm not allowed to think you said something funny, once in a blue moon?" She rolled her eyes. "Great, Dib."

"Come on, you know what I meant! Did something happen? Was your brain erased by a ghost??"

He reached out to poke her forehead. Gaz swatted his hand away viciously. "Quit it! There's no ghosts, Dib. Is it so hard to believe I could be in a good mood?"

Dib nodded. "Yes."

"Ugh." She tossed her half-eaten bowl in the sink and snagged her backpack, tugging it on and heading for the door.

"Wait, Gaz, don't leave!" he rectified quickly, "I can't let you out of my sight! Zim knows who's a threat to his 'victory' or whatever and I'm pretty sure I saw him looking at you at recess! He's probably planning to--"

Gaz whirled around, effectively cutting him off with her scowl. "You know what, Dib?" she spat. "I don't really care what Zim does. This week, I don't give a crap about him. He can do whatever he wants, but he's not winning that paintball battle. He's not even a threat."

She stomped out the door. Dib took another bite out of his banana.

"I thought you didn't care about paintball!" he called after her, but she was already gone.

Dib wasn't the only one who was worried by Gaz's improved mood. Several schoolchildren ducked for cover upon seeing her smile. One jock jumped into an open locker when they made eye contact in the hallway.

Mr. Elliot was the only one stupid enough to be delighted. "Gazlene! Great to see such a happy expression on your face. Did something happen?"

"I'm going to destroy all of you," she replied, with a tinge of cheerfulness to her usually dour tone.

Her teacher's smile became forced. "Great! Good to hear it. Does anyone have any questions on number four?"

Well, that wasn't exactly true. There was one other person who seemed to be immune to Gaz's slight mood shift. In fact, he didn't even seem to notice it at all.

Zim.

The stupid alien hadn't talked to her or even looked at her, so far as she could remember, since that time he tried waving his ugly pus-filled pimple at her. She'd ignored him then, and when he approached her in the hallway rush between science and english class, she ignored him again.

"Hey. Dib-sister. Hey. Hey."

Her game was out, as was her custom for classroom changes, and her ears were off.

Zim prodded her shoulder, normally a death sentence. But Gaz wasn't feeling particularly volatile at the moment. . . Perhaps she'd hit him a few extra times with some paintballs. Maybe, if she was lucky, he'd writhe in agony as the liquid hit his weird green skin.

"Hey! Dib-sister! Dib-sister! Little Gaz!

Gaz's very slight smile curdled and she whirled around. "Excuse me?"

Zim's put out expression disappeared, replaced by a little smirk.

"Little-Gaz," re repeated. "I take it you have heard about the BATTLE that will take place at the end of the school week."

"I have nothing to say to you, Zim." Gaz met his eyes levelly, expression dark. "Get out of my way so I can get to class."

"Oh, but I have some things to say to you," he sneered, crossing his arms. "You see, I believe you are one of the few humans who might stand a chance against me."

Gaz didn't dignify him with a response, instead walking around him towards her classroom.

"Hey!" he said, offended. She didn't stop walking, so he trailed behind her. Really couldn't take a hint. . .

"I have a proposition for you, HUMAN!! HEY! LISTEN TO ME!!!!"

Gaz flipped him off casually as she swung the door to her classroom shut in his face.

And that was that.

. . . Or, it should have been.

At lunch, Zim attempted to approach their table, but Dib had chucked a glob of baked beans from his tray and managed to hit him right in the forehead, sending Zim screeching out of the cafeteria. Gaz snickered as Dib laughed, and it wasn't horrible.

After school, Zim trailed them, following Dib and Gaz's trek home at about a ten foot distance. Dib had wanted to throw some books at him, but Gaz just grabbed Dib's wrist and yanked them off the sidewalk onto a side path through the park. Sure enough, Zim had gotten lost and might still have been wandering around when the Membrane siblings arrived safe and sound even quicker than normal.

"We should do this more often!" Dib had cheered when they slammed the door shut, delighted at their victory.

"Whatever," Gaz said. "He was being annoying." But a tiny smile flickered on her lips.

"So, Gaz--"

"Don't get used to it," she said firmly. "I still think your cryptid hunting junk is stupid."

Dib slumped over on his chair, disappointment clear on his face. He didn't speak, so Gaz rolled her eyes and headed up to her room. It may have been kinda fun to get rid of Zim, but the fact that he kept trying to talk to her was obnoxious. She didn't do him the respect of hearing him out, but she knew what he wanted: to form an alliance so that he could betray her in the end and claim victory for himself. Pathetic. Zim wanted to talk to her, was paying attention to her, and it was just to feed his stupid ego. Typical.

Gaz could feel her good mood start to seep away, but a few rounds of VPH made her feel a bit better. Soon, she'd be dooming people in real life, with no cares about whether anyone saw her. In fact, they might even be cheering.

And then, pizza.

[chaoartwork]

Multivoid: Chapter 1

A fanfiction revolving around 2K, Palindrome and the alternate Zims in the aftermath of the Battlevoid arc.

Based on Invader Zim comic issues 46-49.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey. Um. Brother?”

“Sure! What is it, brother?”

“Uh...do you...um. Do you ever worry?”

“Worry about what?”

“Well heheh! Ofcourse it’s a dumb question. But um. Do you ever worry that maybe this won’t last forever?”

“Whaaat?! Come on! Ofcourse it will last forever! We can make it last as long as you want it to!”

“But wouldn’t you want to too?”

“....Hm. You know, that’s a good question. I always pondered about that. Im guessing you might wonder about that too.”

“Wonder about what?”

“Wonder which one you really are. Which one is the real you....Hey! I got a question for you brother! Let’s say we use to be someone. But an event occurred that made you become someone else. Someone grants you the second chance to be that person again. Will you take it?”

“Hmmmm. Not entirely sure. It really depends if my original self was better than what I am now:”

“Better in what way?”

“I don’t know. Superior? More flawless? I think.”

“You seem unsure, brother.”

“Eh I don’t know. Who knows? Maybe that original me was worse than what I am now?”

“In what way?”

“Mmm not sure. Maybe evil? Careless? Dumb? Pitiful?”

“Do you really think that’s what you were?”

“I guess so. You?”

“Mm. I’m not sure either.”

“I see....”

“....I know! Let’s play! Just like old times!”

“Like old times?”

“Yeah! Like hide-and seek! I hide and you have to look for me!”

“You expect me to look for you in an area this big?”

“Uh-Huh! But it will be different! You need to find someone to convince them to come find me!”

“I don’t think that’s how the game works. Shouldn’t I be the only one to find you.”

“Yeah but it’ll get boring. Besides! It’s nice to get to know someone! Even if there’s a chance they can be sketchy!”

“Brother, I’m not sure if that’s a safe idea.”

“Aw come on, trust me! I know you can do it!”

“Hm. Fine. How do I start?”

“Well...first, you have to wake up!”

———————————————————-

Palindrome gasped a breath of water, his body violently shuddering for a few seconds as if it was springing back to life. Within a second after it happened, the heavy sensation rushed across his body. It felt as though he was about to dissipate again, but felt like his body was holding back from coming apart again. He felt his weak arms wrap around 2K as much as he could to which he timed on when he was going to catch him, making sure never to let him go.

He did not know how long he kept his eyes closed for or whether or not he really did knocked out, but few flashes of traumatic images from the battle swept through his mind for a split seconds, despite it feeling like forever and wanting to cry out on making it stop. He suddenly felt a soft nudge soon after. It felt warm and soft, interrupting the pain enough to relieve himself. Even if it was just a moment. The one who was nudging him felt small and round, having a bit of puffiness to them. He gulped down, hoping to have the strength to speak with his heart fluttering in hope on who it might be. He weakly flicked open his eyes again.

“T....2K....?”

 The blurry vision showed him what seemed like a pale blue figure instead of a light green as he had hoped. The vision slightly cleared up until he realized that the small being was softly hovering above him. The fish looking being had derpy eyes and squared buck tooth. What was that thing? Minimoose? No. That’s not his name. Why did he think that was his name? His name....is....

His breath stiffened from finally recognizing him.

“Mini....Miniwhale...? Is it really...?” He shakily reaches out, “Miniwhale...?”

“Nya,” the figure squeaked in a concerned tone and moved close in order to let him be able to rest his creator’s palm on the side of his body. Palindrome processed to make sure he really wasn’t hallucinating. No, he couldn’t be here. He just can’t. How could he have entered the Zimvoid? There’s just no absolute-

“”Nya?”

The fish Irken blinked.

“Wh...what are you...? What do you mean ‘where have I gone’? Why are you h-?”

He grunt from the unfeeling sensation rushing through his body returning, causing him to squeeze eyes shut and hug himself again.

“Nya?”

He found it impossible to respond to his subject this time, focusing more on fighting it back.

It took several seconds for it to ebb away, letting his body fully relax in exhaustion and breathe heavily.

“Nya!”

Yes I’m fully aware my bowl is very dirty thanks for reminding me at this time.

But he did not say that and instead respond weakly,

“Miniwhale. If it’s really you...please,” his eyes opened and trace back to him, “...help me.”

“Nya?”

He couldn’t tell him exactly what he needs help with. His body felt so useless that even speaking would easily tire him out. He can’t even look around the area because of how blurry his sight really was. There was really no telling when the horrible feelings were going to end. He felt like he could throw up at any moment.

“Nya...”

His heart melted by what the robot responded. He soon after started feeling him float down and nestle against his body. It made the unfeeling sensation grow numb again. He took a moment to process and choked up a bit, realizing how long it has been since he has encountered anyone close to him from his timeline. He gave out the strength to move his arm so he can rest it around him.

“Y-yeah....I missed you too.”

Miniwhale responded by nestling against his body more until he felt cozy against his creator. Palindrome wondered if he was doing this because he was trying to comfort him during the ill feeling or if it’s because he was embracing him after not seeing him for all those few months. It could maybe be both. Nonetheless, he felt his body start to shut down on him again. He wanted to beg his body so much on moving again. There was so much that he needed to know. What happened to the other Zims? What happened to the Elder? The Meat? Where’s that Zib? Where’s that alternate Dib?

2K....2K, are you still here? Did you come back too just like me? Why didn’t Miniwhale mention you or the others? Am I the only one who came back from....?

His eyes grew heavy until they closed shut to give into the unconsciousness.

...Where are you?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zim can be seen laying face plant on a messy table sleeping, his drools having covered half of it. He can be heard softly snoring.

“Sir. Sir.”

There was a moment of no response.

“Hellooooo. Sirrrrr.”

“Huh! Wah!” Zim  jumps awake with pieces of styrofoams stuck on his face and quickly glanced around his lab in wonder.

“Sir. School will be starting soon.”

“Wait.” Zim processed and looked up at the ceiling, “you mean now?”

“Yyyyup.”

“WHAT?!” He exclaimed, “why didn’t you wake me up earlier?!”

The computer sighed,

“Sir, I tried to wake you up for two hours-”

“Urgh! Forget about it,” he rubbed the pieces of styrofoams off his face, “I’ll do this later. Just don’t touch any of them!”

“I am aware of that, sir. You tell me this everyday.”

“Well it’s always good to be reminded,” he hopped off his seat. “Computer! Initiate my brilliant disguise!”

The tube shot down to cover Zim’s body. It then pulled back up to show him in his human disguise. He then walks over to the elevator and goes up to the living room, to which he can see Gir watching his TV as usual.

“Your in charge of the house, Gir. Make sure Minimoose doesn’t eat them again.”

“Okie dokie!” Gir said without even looking at him and changed the channel.

There was a likely chance he didn’t even listen, but not like Zim couldn’t do anything about it. He just continued on and left his home base, walking out to the usual casual days. Basically how it was everything day. Somewhat cloudy skies, some bird flying by with some of them often time hitting a house and getting knocked unconscious. The neighbor next door always screaming in order for their husband to clearly hear them. Boy does he love this planet. But it won’t be any better until he conquers it.

 He walked passed the neighborhood and through the streets until it took him maybe half an hour to get to school, many kids having already gone inside. He walked inside the school, went passed the halls, ignoring some weird kid who was in the locker calling out nonchalantly to let him out, and was able to go inside the classroom just as soon as the school bell rang. Dib can be seen apparently not glaring at him as usual, instead scribbling on a journal.

Zim squinted, wondering what he was up to this time.

“Zim.”

The Irken flinched and turned to see Ms.Bitters behind him.

“Take your seat. Class is about to start.”

“Uh, right! Yes, Ms. Bitters!”

He went and did as she told him. Again, the school seat feeling uncomfortable as always.

“Alright, class. Today, we’re going to-“

She turned to notice Dib scribbling.

“Dib. I really do hope your not trying to write out your plans on how to get to Zim’s ‘secret alien lair’.”

The class giggles by her comment.

“Uh, no Ms. Bitter. It’s actually something different.”

“Oh? Then you might as well either stop scribbling whatever creative fantasy you always have in that big head of yours or would you like to spend more of these dragging moments of class time telling us what it is your scribbling about.”

“It’s just...have anyone noticed the stars looked off today?”

“Stars?” One kid asked in confusion.

“Yeah! For example, last night I was checking my telescope to see if Zim’s kind arrived as usual and the stars looked very different. Like...very different. There seems to be a lot more in the sky and not to mention that most of them look to be bigger than the others. Has anyone noticed that?”

“Dib, none of us aren’t into those stargazing gizmos like you do.”

“Ofcourse there is, ask Zim! He always checks to see what his kinds are up to.”

 “Hey now,” Zim narrowed, “don’t get me into this conversation!”

“Maybe there might be meteor showers tonight?” One kid suddenly guessed.

“Oh I hope so!” One girl said, “I wish for a talking pony!”

“I wish for a kitten!” Another kid said.

“I wish to be singer!”

“I wish for a world’s finest pizza!”

“I wish to be a rock-“

“Well apparently wishing on a star is part of something out of a fairy tale,” the teacher interrupted. “In life, you won’t get anything unless you decide to work hard in getting it. Now that we’re back to reality, can I now continue this section?”

The class stayed quiet.

“Good. Now then, today we’ll be talking about the Schrodinger’s Cat theory. Can anyone guess as to what it is?”

—————————————————

The school bell rings. Kids screams in happiness as they run out of school and jump out of windows as usual. Zim walks out of the door mumbling.

“What kind of dumb question is that? Of course the cat is dead! Or alive. How can a cat be both dead and alive? that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. Dumb humans with their dumb logical sense-“

“You have something to do with it, don’t you?”

“Huh?” He turned behind him and saw Dib come out of the entrance and walk down the stair to approach him with a look of suspicions. Oh here it goes again.

“You’re plotting something, do you? Why are the night skies different tonight? Is it part of your next scheme?”

“Gee I don’t know Dib human,” Zim in annoyance, “why don’t you next time use that weak telescope of yours to see what these new stars actually are?”

“Because dad called me to go to bed before I could analyze it more. So tell me, Zim! What are they?”

“Ok first off, if they were really part of my next glorious plan, I would not tell you what they are. Second, I have not analyzed the galaxies in a while.”

“Don’t you check the galaxy every night? Like, to check what the invaders are up to and all of that?”

“WHAT?!” He exclaimed, “HOW DO YOU KNOW?!”

 “You one time complained about them doing something that was bugging you.”

“LIES! ZIM WOULD NEVER TALK ABOUT OTHER LESS SKILLED INVADERS!”

“Whatever, man. I guess I tend to forget that you’re not too active with your ambitions as usual.”

“That is also lies! Zim has become more ambitious with his great conquest to conquer your planet more than ever!”

“You mean by studying those things.”

“What things?”

“The packing pea-“

“I knew what you were talking about.”

Dib sighed and facepalmed.

“You spent the whole night studying them again?”

“They’re very important! I must know what their purpose really is!”

“Zim, you told me this for like what? The thirtieth time? And besides, what makes them so important? They’re just packing peanuts.”

YOU ARE WRONG STINK BOY! Those packing peanuts had much more potential than you should EVER know! Especially that one time!”

“One time?” Dib’s eyebrow raised.

“Yeah!” Zim smiled, “that one time when I-“

There were few seconds  of silence. Zim stopped smiling and processed.

“Ok, maybe they haven’t done anything yet, but I’m SURE they have a purpose. I just need to remember what it was!”

 “And how long exactly will that take?” Dib crosses his arms in annoyance, “you’ve been going on about it for a year now. Mostly because of that little ‘incident’. And it’s because of that incident that not only do you focus on them, you have been obsessed about them more and more.”

“And THATS because I am getting closer and closer to uncovering it’s purpose. Watch me, stink human...watch me! When I uncover the power of those styrofoams, you can no longer stop me! I will be able to conquer my planets with my BARE hands! Or feet, any of those can work.”

  Zim lets out a laughter before running off to the street. Midway, his maniacal laughter turns to a yelp of shock as a car can be heard honking in the distance and then crashing sounds are heard, with one woman screaming,

“Hey watch where you’re going, stupid kid!”

Dib stares off at the scene and sigh in annoyance.

“Of all supernatural I could be chasing, why does my main focus have to be him?”

[wordssplatteredoncement]

The Room is a Strange Place

Everybody has a back pocket story or two. You know the kind? The tales you pull out of your ass when trying to impress, or just entertain. I’ve divulged a couple of those cherished stories (on this very blog) over the years. I implore you to scroll a bit if you want to read about a physical altercation with a “pimp” on the Las Vegas strip or night spent with a close friend, two upset stomachs, a backed-up hotel tonight, and the culmination leading to several homeless people watching me shit in a public restroom. This story isn’t as grandiose, so I don’t want to over-hype it, but it does make me laugh every time I think about/ tell it and, I don’t know about you, I could use some laughter. Shall we proceed?

My brother and I have an unhealthy obsession with awful films. I’m not sure how it started, but we’ve always found a great deal of humor in horrible flicks. For as long as I can remember, he and I have gathered around a television set for hours watching countless “how on earth did someone create this?” movies. Our love of rancid cinema has extended to our close friends in the form of “So Bad, It’s Good” movie nights. We lure our loved ones in with the promise of as much booze, candy, and popcorn they can handle, and subject them to this perverse passion for terrible acting, cinematography, writing, lighting, set design, etc. We’re constantly in search of the next pile of trash to give an excuse to transform our living room into a shitty version of Mystery Science Theater 3000. There are some who long for the next Avengers and, while I will watch that, these bad movies speak more to my sensibilities. 

In the mid-2000′s there were rumblings that a new champion had taken the crown for worst flick ever made. The internet was ablaze with this laughably bad, nonsensical movie that was only showing in Los Angeles. The movie was titled “The Room” and it was written, produced, and starring a man I’d never heard of before, Tommy Wiseau. Not one to torrent, I spent the next few evenings learning everything I could about this film. Each review, both those that were in on this being a god-awful blunder, and those that, seemingly, weren’t hip to the fact that this was largely considered the Citizen Kane of abhorrent films, made me salivate at the chance of getting my hands on this piece of substandard pop culture. While the reviews were enough for me to know this was a “must-see” it was the interviews with the man behind it all himself, Tommy Wiseau, that drove my desire to see this film. His cadence, accent, mannerisms, look, laughter.. everything about the man just leapt out as a truly original cat. I became just as intrigued about the man behind the film, as I did about the motion picture, itself. 

Some time passes and I find myself at San Diego Comic Con, as I had many times before. For those of you uninitiated, think of San Diego Comic Con as the biggest nerd/ pop-culture orgy ever created. 120k+ plus descend upon Southern California to share their unadulterated love of movies, television, toys, and yes, comics. I went with someone who was newly christened my ex-girlfriend, thinking we could just work through things, as we’d each spent a great deal of money on the trip prior to the break up. This was a mistake. We were at each other’s throats more than a vampire at a hydra gathering. That is to say, any second away from her was more than welcomed. When she informed me that she wanted to take a nap, I used this time as a breath of fresh air (as fresh as can be in a sea of people who don’t treat personal hygiene as a top priority, that is). I hit the convention floor, in seek of an autograph of the creator of Invader Zim, Jhonen Vasquez. I’m weaving through the convention hall, when I see the man I’d become infatuated with... Tommy Wiseau. “Hey kid (I’m in my mid-late twenties at this point, mind you), you wanna buy a movie?” Without hesitation, I fired back “FUCK YEAH I DO!! How much?” This is when things got a little weird.. or Wiseau..

“For my biggest fan? Ten dollars.”, Mr. Wiseau said. “Biggest fan? He randomly stopped me, and I haven’t even seen this movie.”, I thought, but didn’t say a word, only reached for my wallet. I handed him a sweaty $10 bill, he goes to hand me the film, but reels back a second. “Do you want me to sign it?”, he asked. “Yes, please!!”, I fired back. Tommy pulled out a pin, started murmuring something, then signed my DVD. “Do you want GREH (he was saying “Greg”, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying through his accent) to sign it?” I didn’t know who “GREH” (I later found out this was Greg Sestero, another star of the film and inspiration for the movie) was, but sure, why not? As I awaited my newly autographed copy of my most anticipated movie of that year, Tommy chimed in again. “Would you like a soundtrack?”. “Um, how much?”, I cautiously treaded. “For my biggest fan? Are you kidding me? It free for you.” Genuinely creeped out, I said “Sure”. Tommy then turns and screams at a child no older than 7 to fetch me a soundtrack. The kid scurried off out of sight, leaving me with me with Tommy and “GREH”. A couple of minutes passed before the youngster returned, without soundtrack in hand. “WHERE IS THE SOUNDTRACK!?”, Tommy bellowed. “We’re all out.”, squeaked the kid. “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS IN FRONT OF MY BIGGEST FAN!?!”, Wiseau roared, then turned and asked me, “I’m so sorry. Would you like a t-shirt?”. “Oh, that’s okay. I don’t want to be any trouble.”, I said in genuine fear. “No trouble at all. GO GET HIM A SHIRT!!”, he screamed at the minor. “It’s really no problem at all for my biggest fan”, Tommy reiterated as he put me in a vice-like headlock. So there I am, in a Wiseau-headlock, standing next to “Greh”, when I notice something. There is a line of dozens of people, all holding copies of The Room, waiting to get their movies signed. In front of them, is a woman holding a sign that states “The Room: Front of the line”. Being a Comic-Con veteran, I realized these people were there to meet this man I stumbled across, had spent several minutes with, and was now awaiting a free shirt while in a wrestling hold by the man they were trying to meet. The daggers that were cast from the looks of those waiting in line would have killed me, if Tommy’s anaconda-like grip on my neck didn’t first. When the child reemerged, he handed me a shirt. I thanked the child, Tommy, “Greh”, and said my goodbyes. “Thanks for being my biggest fan. HAHAHAHAHA!!” I could hear Wiseau wail across the throng of nerds. 

And there it is, my story of a strange encounter with a bizarre man who made one of Hollywood’s worst. I love The Room. I’m not entirely sure if I love it purely because of how bad it is, or have an affection for it due to the aforementioned meeting with the people who created it. Either way, it goes down as one of my favorite celebrity encounter moments and genuinely a film I watch more than those that make my “favorite film” list. It’s a movie I’ve subjected several friends victims to, and one that I can’t wait to put others through. That moment in time, and the flick itself, is a constant reminder, that even when life hands you lemons, you can always chuck them at somebody. 

[elitespacefreak]

How do you think Zim would react to his s/o having autism and gets over stimmed easily?

I don’t have a lot of personal experience with autism or autistic individuals, but I’ve been overstimulated before and most of my rhetoric classes in college were structured around disability studies so I hope these tickle your fancy~!

• Zim himeself is actually more prone to overstimulation than most people, his antennae are very sensitive and he can have a hard time with things like loud noises, overbearing smells, and being in large crowds of people. So he understands fully, and takes into account the language you use to describe how you feel and how you react.

• He’s generally hyper aware of his surroundings in a lot of situations anyway, but even more so if he has you with him. He checks in often to see how you’re feeling, just to make sure he can be proactive rather than reactive in case you start having a hard time.

• Zim likes to fidget already so he’s usually got something on him to keep his hands busy. He prefers things like Rubik’s cubes and other small puzzles, but will gladly keep anything you’d like with him as well.

• If you’re over at his house he’s more mindful of Gir, because he knows that his loud and unpredictable behavior isn’t exactly ideal. He’s come up with some clever ways to motivate Gir to go elsewhere whenever he feels particularly energized or expressive.

• Just as a curious person in general, Zim is really mindful about doing his research and asking questions when he doesn’t understand something. But he learned really early on to listen to you explicitly after he encountered someone else who was also autistic and was very different from you. There’s a much wider spectrum for symptoms in humans than there are similar things Irkens deal with on a regular basis.

• Zim’s base is large and expansive, and he’s made up a few rooms and small spaces for you to go to when you need somewhere quiet to be. He also keeps weighted blankets around so he can wrap you up asap if and when you need it - but likes them for himself too.

[krizaland]

You keep referencing your old fear of IZ but will we ever hear the whole story?

Alrighty! In honor of the spooky season, I think it’s time I told you all the full story of how my fear of Invader Zim came to be and how I conquered it!

When Invader Zim first came out I was at the ripe old age of 5 years old. I never saw the first episode but still enjoyed watching cartoons off all kinds. Except Ahh! Real Monsters which I’m still afraid of to this day 

My first encounter with Invader Zim was when I was 6 years old. I was watching Tv at my cousin’s house when an episode (I believe it was Door to Door but they memory’s kinda foggy) popped on. 

I never knew Zim was an alien but my goodness he was the cutest boy I had ever seen! I didn’t even care that his skin was green I just thought he was cute! 

“Wow! I love Zim!” I remember giggling.

“Really? I think Dib’s better” My cousin countered.

Now, she was like a few years older than me so I really looked up to her and wanted to be like her.

So I took back my love for Zim and pretended to like Dib. I never really understood why she preferred Dib as I always thought he was mean.

I did catch a few pieces of episodes here and there on my own and did see Zim’s alien form. However, my child brain was quite stupid so I always thought he was just an oversized bug who liked to talk to his cousins. (Yes. I thought that the Tallest were Zim’s cousins. I was that stupid y’all.) I never once considered that this oversized bug and the cute green skinned boy were the same person.

Now, I should probably note that I had an insanely overreactive imagination growing up. (This is part of what inspires me to write lol)

So Zim sorta became an imaginary friend of sorts. Because I had fallen in love with him, I assumed that meant we had to get married (Curse you Disney for your unrealistic expectations!)

So Zim and I had a cute little imaginary wedding.

Everything seemed fine until the day I found out about the harsh truth.

I remember going upstairs to my room when I heard Tallest Purple’s voice coming from the upstairs TV.

“I thought you were trying to destroy the Earth?”

I gasped! Who was trying to destroy the Earth?!

Sure enough I looked up and saw the oversized bug once more.

“Ah yes! You heard wrong! My original plan was to destroy Mars! Just a little warm up before I destroy the humans! I’m an unstoppable death machine you know! Well, Invader Zim signing off!”

I felt a pang of fear in my gut. Zim?! The cute green skinned boy I called my imaginary husband was really an evil alien out to destroy the Earth?!

I ‘confronted’ him and he owned up to being an alien. 

I felt my heart shatter into a thousand bite sized pieces. I never felt so betrayed! So bamboozled! So smeckledwarfed!

I let out a scream and ran into my bedroom. I spent the rest of the day sobbing and cuddling my Scooby Doo plushie.

I remember going to see a ‘friend’ of mine. (She was a pretty shitty friend but I still liked her.) 

I brought up Invader Zim and we chatted for a bit. She begun to tell me about a girl in the show.

“Are you talking about Gaz?” I asked as I tilted my head.

“No. No. She was a beautiful girl and she was also an alien.” My friend explained.

I realize now that she was probably referring to Tak.

However, my foolish child brain was convinced that Zim had somehow turned a girl into an Irken!

Needless to say, this did not help my fears.

So after talking to my friend I kept having nightmares about Zim turning me into a half human half Irken hybrid.

I got so scared that I had to sleep in my parent’s room for a week.

After that, I would run screaming at the mere mention of the show.

My brother used to watch Nicktoons a lot and would often torment me by referencing Invader Zim (as well as Ahh! Real Monsters.) 

As I got older, a lot of middle schoolers would walk around wearing brightly colored GIR shirts. I would always cringe in fear and avoid them.

I couldn’t even walk past a Hot Topic without my stomach churning.

Eventually, the day came where I could take my fear of Invader Zim no longer!

I was 13 going on 14 and there was an Invader Zim marathon on Nicktoons.

There used to be a large TV right in front of the kitchen table, so my brother decided to watch the marathon there.

Unfortunately, I wanted to eat my snack and my mom refused to let us eat in our bedrooms.

My brother was being nice for once and offered to change the channel. 

I was about to say yes but something in me snapped.

I was so sick and tired of hiding in my room whenever the show came on. I was tired of gasping at the sight of GIR shirts. 

I was so done with living in fear.

“No. Leave it on. I can handle it.” I said as I sat down with my snack.

“Are you sure? I can always change it.” My brother offered.

“It’s ok. I can handle it.” I insisted as I started to eat.

And with that, I stared straight ahead and decided to give it a watch.

The episode was Hamstergeddon, and the moment Zim started screaming about Pipi, I felt a change in me.

In that moment, Zim no longer seemed so scary. In fact he was funny!

Soon I found myself laughing instead of screaming. 

Why was I so scared of this show? It was comedy gold!

When I finished eating, I went to the upstairs and grabbed both my Kirby and Scooby Doo plushies. I sat down in front of the upstairs Tv and turned on Nicktoons.

The opening theme song used to sound like nails on a chalkboard but not anymore.

Now it sounded like music to my ears! Soon, Invader Zim went from one of my greatest fears to one of my most beloved special interests.

And it was just in time for my scene phase!

I rushed to Hot Topic and bought every piece of GIR merch I could get my angsty scene paws on.

When my 14th birthday rolled around I asked for a plushie of Zim off of eBay. The seller was an asshole and he charged us an arm and a leg but it was well worth it.

My Zim plushie went everywhere and I mean everywhere with me. To the park, to my brother’s soccer games! Even to renaissance fairs! Hell there’s said to be an ad for some autism organization that has footage of me holding Zim. 

I let myself fall in love with Zim all over again (Only this time I didn’t marry him like an idiot.)

I delved into the Invader Zim fandom and begun to churn out OCs and extremely cringey fanfiction ideas. 

When my scene phase wore off, I realized that Zim wasn’t very nice so I kept him away from my other stuffies for a little while.

However, I was no longer afraid of Zim but I still cringed when I looked back on my old ideas.

Fast forward to August of 2019.  Rise of the Teeange Mutant Ninja Turtles was on a massive hiatus and I was slowly going insane on the world’s worst cruise.

As I suffered aboard the SS Retirement home, I scrolled through tumblr and noticed that Netflix had just released Enter the Florpus. 

Maybe, I had gone completely insane on that boat or maybe I was just excited to see Invader Zim make a comeback.

Either way, I felt my special interest in Invader Zim reawaken

The first thing I did when I got home was dig out my Zim plushie, log into Netflix and turn on Enter the Florpus.

In that moment, I fell in love with Invader Zim all over again. 

I soon wrote up my first Reader insert fic and now here we are.

Now, I love Zim free of fear and cringe! 

[space-n-sky]

A Dissertation on ZAGR

First of all?? Bless your soul.

Now buckle up cause this tea’s been brewing in the back of my mind for 3 years.

Despite my unyielding adoration for these two hot messes, I know there’s a very small chance the ship could work. Zim nonchalantly states that his race is both asexual and aromantic in issue 20, and seeing how Gaz actively separates herself from Dib’s and Zim’s antics both in comics and show, there’s really no reason for them to be near each other. 

However, the times they do share screen time/ panels, there’s a distinct dynamic between the two, one that the show and comics don’t take advantage of, and I’m going to analyze the hecc out of it.

Dang Zim. A few days on Earth and you’re already snatching up girls

This scene charmed me when I first saw it, and I think the reason was is cause up until this point when I started watching the show, I had the impression that no one could do anything to Gaz, and if they did, they would pay for it. I legit gasped when Zim just up an grabbed her, like, this stupid boi had a one-way ticket to hurtville. Gaz’s threats aren’t empty! Nonsequital and gruesome in detail, but not empty. So she’s promising Zim she’ll hurt him, but Zim just... ignores her. He only puts her down when he knows it’s not raining anymore and hardly bats an eye at her words.

Now, he hardly knows her at this point in the series, so it’s very likely that he didn’t know how cold she really is. But still, everyone else who’s come across Gaz ends up acting in her favor in some way or another. By Zim getting away with inconveniencing her and being able to shrug off her threats, I got the hint that Zim in one of few who could put up with her attitude and give her a run for her money. Not enough to ship but... you do get curious when they’ll run into each other again.

Zim?? steals an organ from Gaz that doesn’t make her reel in pain like the others and leaves her Gameslave in a position where she can still play?? Like. I know Gaz is a tough character (she doesn't writhe in pain when she gets lice later on) but the position her Gameslave replaces her organ has got to be deliberate. I fancy Zim knows by now what she’s capable of and executes his plan on her in the least harmful way possible so that she doesn’t come running after him when his whole shtick is over. I remember someone from the crew mentioning that if Zim were to take over, he’d occasionally appease Gaz by offering her food or games, and I think that idea stemmed off here. Zim is an unforgiving zealot with nothing but contempt for humans, yet he accommodates Gaz. So, I don’t think he respects her yet, but he does realize he should stay on her good side. 

Here though, he definitely does. He comes up to her and invites her to look at Pustulio like he has with everyone else, no biggie. Gaz obviously knows better and just shrugs him off, but then...Zim asks her again like  “oh, you sure? understandable, have a nice day”. Amazing. 

Gaz hasn’t changed her opinion on Zim, though. Still very “eh” about him, which is a bummer. It’s by no means ship material, but this moment made me wonder what this was leading up to.

Ohhhh snap it’s that one screenshot every zagr fan has on their blog at least once

So. the context for BPH: Gaz begrudgingly goes to saves Dib, is fascinated by the idea of Zim experimenting on a human but forces herself to focus yessss and after being belittled by Zim, engages in a high-speed chase back to Earth.

Gaz could have easily just jetted out of Zim’s hold and gone home, it would have made sense with how she’s shown nothing but disdain and annoyance when he comes close. Yet, she jumps over his hold and teases him about her win. Then she goes home.

We get two things from this, and they excite me so much omg zifbhjgf

We’re halfway through season 1, and Zim is scared of Gaz just enough to respect and avoid her but is bold enough to belittle her and ignore her threats. Now, she’s beat him in Nanozim but he had no idea it was her, so when her gaming muscles flex over his military piloting, he is s h o o k. 

I believe he is shooketh for two reasons: One, because this is one of Zim’s few losses against the humans directly, a Membrane at that. Two, because someone smaller than him beat him. Recall that he addresses her name once in the show, and it’s to demean her efforts and her stature. Being defeated by someone he deemed insignificant on a first name basis took a huge blow to his pride. Zim has a penchant for overlooking his faults or any correction (Tak telling him his mission was a lie, Gir telling Zim that babies aren’t a threat to the mission) unless it is direct to where he cannot deny it (The Tallests saying the trial was a formality in Zim’s range of hearing). This was one of those rare moments where his shortcomings and the opposing victor are up in his face, Gaz lets him know she’s won, is better than him, and there’s nothing he can do about it. So he just gapes. 

Gaz’s end? I really think she was partly spiteful and playful with this quip. it was her special way of getting Gaz patented revenge after being insulted and attacked by Zim. Also, her cold smile and wave indicate she had fun getting the best of Zim, whereas she never smiled once when dooming Iggins in GS2 and Dib in GToP, and I think that’s really telling.

At this point I was hype to see how much farther Zim and Gaz’s budding rivalry will go, aaaand nothing happens the rest of the show :’)

There’s a brief exchange between Zim and Gaz in Tak:THNG, and yeah, Gaz teases Zim about his base and Zim deflects her statement in an unusually offhanded, nearly empty threat. It’s basically the equivalent of two kids sticking their tounges out at each other, more lighthearted than their last encounter at the very least. 

After finishing the series and jumping straight to the comics, something beautiful and unexpected happens. It takes 16 issues and then some to get there, but it happens.

Zim and Gaz’s slowly built up rivalry/relationship reaches a new peak. To a point where they can negotiate, know each other well enough to outsmart the other, and most importantly of all, casually talk to each other.

Breaking down issues 16 and 21 are gonna take up a lot of pic space and some fangirling tangents explaining to do, So they are gonna be like, the sequel to this hot mess and be their own posts.

It’s 4am y’all I hope you can read this hggohepw

[hecallsmehischild]

IZ Fanfic - Hey Spacejerk - Bonus

Surprise! So these fragments are not part of the story. However it took me a few tries to get the last chapter the way I wanted, and I wanted to put those efforts somewhere. While they didn’t fit exactly right, I really liked certain aspects of them. So consider them bonus snippets. No, there will not be more about them. They are just failed attempts at the final chapter of Hey Spacejerk.

Attempt #1: Child vampire stakeout

The hall light flickered as Dib kicked at the ratty brown carpet runner. Someone had drunk staple-gunned it in place so it sported several trip-hazard folds sticking up to catch unsuspecting shufflers. Though the competing stereos and crying babies might cover up an approach on floorboards that cracked like gunshots, it wasn’t good to take those kind of chances. A painful encounter with a Jersey devil had taught him that paranormal creatures living in plain sight often knew when they were being hunted and took detailed inventory of their home-base’s typical sensory input. They rarely missed subtle changes like, say, an unfamiliar set of footsteps. With that in mind, Zim had been sent up the side of the crumbly apartment building to watch for the target’s departure and signal an all-clear.

He lifted his hand up to his nose, his finger hovering just over the bridge of his glasses. Pushing his glasses up would send a cricket chirp to Zim, an unobtrusive check-in that wouldn’t compromise his position. A tap to the right glasses arm would open two way communication. A tap to the left glasses arm would send audio without receiving any. The new setup had drastically reduced their blunders in the last few months.

If Zim didn’t chirp the all-clear signal in ninety seconds, Dib decided, he’d chirp to see if things were still okay.

Of course things were fine. He scolded himself, jamming his hands in the pockets of his signature floor-length black trenchcoat. Zim would have alerted him if he’d run into anything he couldn’t handle. There had been that one situation with the fae… but they weren’t inspecting a mushroom ring this time. Zim would be fine.

There. Two quick chirps through the receiver in his glasses frame. All clear. Dib strode down the hall, giving a wide berth to the radiator that smelled like something had died underneath and took the stairs two at a time. Questionable-looking brown smears covered long stretches of the wall and the air was thick with the smell of marijuana. Up. Up. Up to the seventh floor and down the hall, passing doors with numbers crooked, upside down, or just missing.

Apartment 704 had the same tired red paint that every other door had, but none of the peeling paint or mold spots. Strips were missing, but the surface had been sanded smooth, and there wasn’t a sign of mud or stains. The door was already ajar. Cautious, Dib tapped the bridge of his glasses once, double checking with Zim.

Two fast chirps back and Dib entered, shutting the door behind him. Under his feet was a worn but clean little rainbow doormat. The walls, though beige, fairly gleamed. The threadbare carpeting was flush with the floor. Dib ran a gloved hand along the counter and pulled it back dust-free.

“Doubtful I could find any germs, even with microgoggles,” Zim marveled, poking his head into the fridge and freezer. “Nothing here. Empty refrigerator. Cleaning supplies in the cupboard, but no food.”

Dib glanced at a small bookshelf crammed with raggedy paperbacks. He pulled one out at random. “The Selection. Kiera Cass.” He stuck his tongue out. “Cover tells me it’s a princessy love triangle.” He slid it back in its place.

Zim grabbed it back off the shelf, inspecting it. “Love triangle. Terminology to describe a recurring concept in various mediums of storytelling where creature number one cannot decide whether to mate with creature number two or creature number three. Sometimes creature number two and creature three want to mate with each other, and creature number one is furious. But how can you tell just by looking at the picture on front?”

Dib shrugged. “Eh, publishers tend to put very similar visual cues on books that emphasize a particular ‘recurring concept’ in their storytelling.”

Zim inspected the book, thumbing through a few pages. “Note to PAK, begin database of published book covers for cross referencing.”

“I’d count that as less important than figuring out that you shouldn’t go shouting your name at the fae when they ask.”

“It was one time! I was not warned! When are you going to stop mocking me?”

“The day you stop reacting.” Dib pulled a couple more books to check for hidden compartments but his enthusiasm was fading. A couple anime and cartoon posters hung on the wall, their edges carefully repaired with tape. A twin mattress with overlarge mickey mouse bedding was crammed into the corner. No TV, no electronics, and according to Zim, no food.

Dib lifted the mattress. Underneath was a ziplock bag with a few dollars and coins in it, but nothing else. “Zim, you got visual confirmation of her leaving? ‘Cause right now we’re not getting more than circumstantial evidence.”

“She took the fire escape down.” Zim pointed at the window he had likely used for his own entrance. Dib approached, scratching a nail along a pane. A thick layer of jet black paint curled away under his nail. Blackout curtains hung on a bent rail overhead.

“I was expecting a hidden store of blood somewhere,” Dib admitted. “But it doesn’t look like she has the cash to get a hidden cold storage system, and you already checked the freezer.”

“Those are children’s cartoons, are they not?” Zim pointed at the cheerful bedspread. “Perhaps your informants overestimated her age.”

“That’s possible, but who knows how long she’s been whatever age she is, too.” Dib sighed. “This is a mess. No way to determine if she’s a threat or not from this.”

Zim cleared his throat. “Perhaps, Agent Mothman, we should consider waiting here and speaking to her when she returns. Perhaps she has something to say for herself.”

Dib slowly slid the book he was holding back in its place, keeping his eyes on the shelf. Stilted formality was a cue Zim had locked onto from their lessons about saying-what-you-mean-without-actually-saying-it. If she was anywhere, she was probably at the window, and he wasn’t going to spook her by glancing over. “You have a point, Agent Spiderlegs.”

Reason dropped: They’re way too competent, so it’s been a long time and that makes it harder to do exposition right. Also for what purpose are they here? Is it to protect this child vampire? Is it to recruit her? See if she’s a threat or not? Exactly what is their standing in the Eyeball by now? It kicked up more questions than I was willing to answer in a final chapter but MAN did I love playing with setting clues for a bit.

Attempt #2: PAK replacement trials

“Would you stop twitching already?” Dib squinted along the headlamp’s beam into the mess of Zim’s PAK. “Okay, so there’s a blueish glassy cylinder in here that’s filled with tiny bead-like things. Glass is cracked.”

A long string of Irken curses followed this observation.

“Right. I take it that’s not easy to get ahold of. Start figuring out how to explain to me what this does and I’ll see if we can’t find a substitute you can use to patch it up.”

“That is pure Meekrob valgrathstal! You cannot just substitute and patch like you’re repairing a ship’s hull! This is a component of my existence!” Zim screeched.

“Well we don’t have a lot of other options, Zim!” Dib flipped the PAK shut, rubbing his eyes. “That’s enough for now. I don’t think we can probe farther in until we have some materials to repair you.”

Morose, Zim twisted around to face his workspace. Reaching into the top drawer, he pulled out the makeup kit Dib had pieced together for him and began applying a white paste to his face. It was a temporary solution that served a double purpose as water repellent and a base over which Zim would apply a nosepiece, prosthetic ears, and tan foundation.

Dib plopped down on his bed and sighed. It was going to be rocky for a while on their new pay level, but Agent Darkbooty had thrown in a deposit on a mediocre apartment near Zim’s old base, as well as some used furniture. Hopefully in a few months they could scrape together enough funds to start experimenting with earthly substances that had a shot at operating as replacement PAK components.

The damage from the Tallests’ attack on Zim plus his internal battle for control had cost Zim dearly. Attempting to activate any sort of hologram triggered an agonizing shock, and until Dib could reach the deeper circuitry to remove the pain/pleasure conditioning hardware, they would have to rely on low-tech special effects to mask Zim’s appearance. And Zim could no longer initiate repairs on his own PAK, as the amount of time he could separate from it had been cut in half. In addition, he now he required something akin to sleep in order to function properly. For about five hours per day, Zim had to shut down all PAK functions except life support and lie comatose. It was up to Dib to “restart” Zim, and Mars have mercy if he was even thirty seconds late.

He wished Zim would cut him some slack when he slipped up. On the other hand, Zim was swallowing huge amounts of humble pie while learning, so maybe Dib just had to let the browbeating sessions go.

Reason dropped: was too much of a downer. Slipping too much into exposition. I wanted to reward the protagonists more than this.

[lyricalafrica2]

Technology and survival tactics.

Well, what a whirlwind month. I'm now solely trying to write my blog from my phone. I'm also having trouble accessing photos downloaded from my camera, so I may have to do that separately. After allowing someone to look through photos on my ipad and having dropped it on concrete, it's never been the same. The screen flickers faster than a humming birds wings. To say I'm upset is a bit of an understatement. When you're so far away from home and it's been a reliable means of working and keeping up to date with everything, it is a huge loss!

I will try to update you with some visuals in due course!

So here I find myself in Zimbabwe. After a few days turned into a week at Vic Falls. Extended as I was really at a loss of what to do. I'd spent so long just hanging around, waiting for people to make decisions, I thought perhaps I was due a little time to just please myself and so I set off.

The falls were spectacular as I remembered them. Such magnificence and such force behind them, it's hard not to be affected by the energy.

It took me two whole days to actually get to the national park, after deciding to have a lie in on the first day after a long 7 hours on the bus from Lusaka. I opted to do an afternoon walking safari with the rhinos. A good decision as far as I was concerned. The experience wasn't busy with copious amounts of tourists and to encounter the whole herd at the one time, with a 14 day old calf, was just something so incredible! Again, a little teary eyed. I will never tire of seeing such animals. They're obviously under 24/7 protection with armed rangers who keep track of them and ensure that they are kept safe and well within the park.

The trek wasn't so long, but the guide was pretty keen to educate us on anything we came across, from impala middens to mopani trees and the pumbas that eyed us from a distance.

I was in my element. I do just feel utter peace when I'm around animals. Whether they're cats and dogs or lions and elephants. Respect them, give them their space and don't underestimate them.

I stayed at the same backpackers as last time Livingstone backpackers. A lively establishment, pretty much unchanged from the previous time where I met my lovely bunch of Norwegian Friends. I pretty much had the dorm to myself, until a German girl Lucy checked in. We got along and so hit the falls together the following day. It was a relief to have a bit of company by that point. Cliques and groups had formed through the volunteer scheme there and being a bit of an introvert around newbies, I'd say hello, but inevitably end up doing my own things.

To spend long in Livingstone, you need money. The activities don't come cheaply, so I chose wisely. I chose the rhinos over the devils pool. At $105 to go and perch on the edge, which I have already done, came literally rather steep. If money was no object then fair enough, but I'm very happy I chose the rhinos, why wouldn't I!?

I ended up going to the falls twice after realising that during full moon there was going to be a lunar rainbow. Slightly anticlimatic even for the locals this time. It has been known to shine much brighter and be more vibrant, but still it was there, if not in all it's glory. Wet and cold, I returned with a small group I'd become acquainted with at the backpackers, eager for the warmth of a hot chocolate.

It was around this point I met Jesus, hailing from Wolverhampton. Even more appropriate was that the couple who I got talking to, who had just booked into the lodge, swore by him. Sorry, I'm not taking the pee, but I had to laugh at the irony. They were very sweet and seemingly took me under their wing for a day or two until I fled the nest that was the backpackers. Sending me on my way with a bar of chocolate and a few other treats for my onward journey. I had made the decision to follow Jesus (or Matt the bearded, named Jesus because this is what the locals called to him as he walked the streets 😏) to Zimbabwe. I figured rather than lounging around the backpackers waiting for things to transpire, I'd take matters into my own hands. Jesus seemed clued up as far as the whole travel thing went. He'd already done the whole west side of Africa including the Congo and Nigeria, and the tip of the continent in S.A. Now he

was venturing back up through central africa, having covered namibia, botswana, a little of southern Zambia and next stop Zimbabwe. Our stories tallied in the fact that we were both overworked, unfulfilled in some way back on home turf and drawn back to Africa, just not in the fact that I could grow a beard of such magnitude.

I arrived in Livingstone Zimbabwe, a day after Matt, on my way across the bridge over the National park (the one where people dice with the health and safety of Zambia, at the end of some stretchy umbilical chord, holding them onto life) I took the usual pictures and selfies. Stopping only momentarily, so locals wouldn't think I was an opportune customer for their wares. I made it through the boarder unscathed with a smile and a cheery greeting and onwards to the meeting point.

My luggage as little as it was, was heavy and I was feeling it through my shoulders and neck. But with the backpackers apparently being five minutes away, it seemed unnecessary to give into a taxi, especially as I'd made it this far.

Well, that was in my head, until a friendly local who had just returned from Zurich to see his family, insisted he give me a lift up the hill. When I walk like that, I'm usually on a mission and I guess it showed! Once I got there, I was pleased he had stopped me. We had a short, but friendly exchange in the five minute ride.

Next piece of the jigsaw was to fathom out the currency of Zim. So for those of you living blindly to the affairs of Zim, apart from the leaders of said country, Zim doesn't exactly have a straightforward currency.

They have blackmarket bond, US dollars and ecocash. Eco cash is a fairly new way of doing things in that, you can buy a simcard for your phone with a company called econet. You buy airtime to concert to data or calls etc, then you can also load it with bond, bought with US dollars. So depending upon the current rate, the deal can be better or worse. If your bought eco rate is better that that of the shop rate, you use your phone to purchase through ecocash. If the eco cash rate is higher that the rate you bought the ecocash for, it's often better to buy with dollars.

If you go to the cash machine in the unlikely event that your foreign card works, you will receive bond, but be charged by you bank in dollars. You can buy bond with dollars if you wish from random floating around the street, but their rate rarely seems to budge above 9.5, even if the official rate is higher. It's to put it crudely, a bit of a headfk. Coupled with the regular load shedding or power cuts due to the low water of Kariba dam, it can make life taxing for citizens of the country. It's true, their country is in a wee bit of a mess and once you get past the ones who make untimely assumptions about you as a foreigner, people are generally lovely and very helpful.

I had a chat with a girl who insisted I take her back to the uk as she loved the "chilly weather". She loved the idea of swimming in the sea. Hmm I thought. I wonder how you'd feel on New Years day? She asked for my necklace. I told her it was a birthday present from my mum. She seemed to understand the significance. We had a brief light hearted conversation before I caught back up with the others.

I'm saying others, I've gotten way ahead of myself....

I've failed to tell you about Man Biscuit arriving later on the same day as us. The first class overnight train to Bulawayo 🤔 the fact that the basin looked initially like a fold down bedpan and that's where I thought the smell was coming from. The buffet dinner that we served ourselves carrot sticks dipped in.. yup more peanut butter. It's all part of the journey so to speak. At times you don't think you can take anymore and then something happens, good or not so and you still come out the other end and hopefully smiling!

So Matt (Jesus) and I decided to go exploring once we'd freshened up from the long journey. We found a lovely cafe with a beautiful garden that did good coffee (always appreciated!) and cake and from there, we worked our way around the inner city blocks until we got to the National Gallery. Big tick from me, that this was a mutually agreed must see. The natural history museum was also on Matt's list, but by the end of the day, we bypassed that in favour of food.

The surprise came when after having a good look around the gallery, I went to see the artists who had studios. They are set off a little garden/courtyard in the center of the building. They are on two levels, and there are probably around ten studios in all. There were only maybe 3/4 studios open that day, though I only made it into two. After opening my mouth and saying how I wished I had a studio, the lady artist, asked if I was also an artist. I said I was and that I really missed my practice. She said that she could put me in touch with someone who I could chat to about it. Uh oh, what have I done? She seemed keen, not just to give me a number, but to find the person for a face to face conversation. Well we did, we talked and at the end of the conversation we were taking about a residency! My only thing was finding suitable, safe and financially agreeable accommodation. Even at the backpackers, it chews into your money quickly. I've always been a one for buying more into experiences than things, (she says this as she watches her ipad have a meltdown and wishes she could be writing her blog on it, rather than thumb typing on her phone...)

And so, why would I pass up on a opportunity to do a residency at the National Gallery? I submitted all I was asked, so I waited for the official, "everything is cleared" and obviously to find a room. It was that evening, when we got back to the backpackers in my semi stunned state, that Man Biscuit arrived or Johannes, from Germany. He had also been on the road for a while and so two became three.

Our little jaunt out the next day saw the three of us hiring a car to take in Matopos National Park, it is a large, rather dramatic park. I liken it in some ways to Yellowstone, for it's large rocky outcrops and almost fosilised trees. The park contains many points of interest, including 360degree views from apex points, cave paintings and war memorials. There are also white rhino and giraffe in this park. The game park another 21 kms down the road has more, but come the end of the day and our mileage limitations with the car hire company, we decided against a trip there too. We'd seen impala by the time we got back to the exit. Lovely, but slightly disappointing, given the promise of rhino. We were starting to think they'd been hidden in some unreachable corner of the park, unaccessible to out little fiat. Only tar roads was our mantra for the day. As a last gasp, we managed to talk a ranger into taking us to see them, having spent most of our dollars on park entry another 60 was going to be a hefty chunk. There were other guests eager to see them from another lodge, so we basically just tagged along, after they'd stalked the bush for an hour trying to locate them. Amongst these guests was an impressive young irishman, cycling across the continent on his own. As lean and lythe as serious cyclists are. It reminded me of my considerations of doing the same one day.

Once we got word, we trekked maybe around a kilometre to the site where a mother and her 14 month old calf stood in the bushes, just grazing away and minding their own. Again, just one of those life defining moments. The mother had her horn removed and her ears were tagged. It's an expensive business to do that and the process takes around 2 hours to complete. It's sad that it has come to not allowing an animal to retain what is rightly theirs, in an attempt to keep them alive. In some cases they're killed anyway by poachers, if they've been following scent trails for days, only to find a hornless rhino, what use is that? And so to reduce their chances of wasting their time again.... well you get the picture, its tragic! I hope though this mother and calf at least get to see out their years. They truly are magical beasts!

And as the sun dipped lower in the sky, and the golden glow lit up the landscape, they backed off further into the bushes.

Their eyesight typically isn't so good, but every now and again, the rangers would give a certain pitched whistle, if they started to look at all unsettled or got too close. Apparently, they think its a bird and this distracts their attention away from their visitors. It was over all to soon and as we made our way back though the bush, catching our legs on thorns and having rogue branches snap back on our shins, your mind turns to the fact that this is someone elses norm. This is their life. 0600 till 1800, six days a week. Trekking through the bush, being near these beautiful beings, taking in this visceral life.

We gave the rangers a lift back through the park, before heading for town. We needed food! We pulled up in a darkened street next to an oxfam truck. We decided to move on from the dubious area after a couple of guys scoped out the trunk as we opened it to grab our wallets. I didn't feel easy, a gut wrenching, not happy came over me, even before we parked up. And there it is, after previous experiences, sometimes you just have to listen. That feeling, this dis-ease it's usually there for a reason.

Again, so much more has happened since that point in time. I have found a new abode with a beautiful family, I am fully immersed in gallery life with opportunities literally pouring out of the woodwork. I still miss my people and I've done a public talk as an artist 😱 been disgustingly ill, found the yoga retreat from heaven where I regularly hang upsidedown like a bat..... and so much more.... but, I think for now, I've given you enough to mull over!

Whatever next? Answers on a postcard, the most imaginative wins... I've sure as hell stopped trying to plan or predict!

[caskit2]

Gorillaz Analysis

Caskit’s not ready to throw all their cards on the table but the time has come!!! 

Okay then, I had to think long and hard about what I wanted to talk about here with Gorillaz cause DAMN!! 

I love gorillaz, 

I love the characters 

damon is a gift that we just dont deserve 

But how did I end up in the fandom pool? 

Well for one, I have heard of gorillaz music back in middleschool but at the time I was busy with Invader Zim and Inuyasha as well as jumping into this band wagon as well  (Full metal Alchemist) 

so by the time I turned to look at Gorillaz was when phase 3 was JUST wrapping up and making way for phase 4. which means I jumped into a fandom that had characters that I knew NOTHING ABOUT. Do you know what that means?

It means I also had no understanding or knowledge of why people shipped “this or that” in the fandom, but I gained some intel on the characters and the growing plot of the story, but other than that, I didnt understand why I was drawn to a particular “ship” in the fandom.  

*actual expression made, im not joking*

Once upon a time, caskit discovered 2doc and was not surprised that this was a ship. I have seen similar stuff that has a common theme that i was drawn to at the time. I was more interested in why fans ship them so I dived in head first into the boiling lava and came to a conclusion.,.....

I dont see them as able (capable?) of ever ending up in the way that most 2doc shippers would pick. The two are chaotic on levels of different tiers of “weird and gross” and I dont really have a reason as to why i was drawn to the ship, but It made me want to analyse what exactly a stable relationship is!

I basically walked around in that area of the fandom and didnt really form any “attachment” to it. I never really experienced a “healthy relationship”, lived in childhood and teen years were I went through life avoiding relationships. So I didnt have a good start, but I knew eventually that I would have to explain myself. 

I feel bad that I wouldnt be able to give a solid answer to what makes me want to sit down and analyse any scenario that has “present abuse undertones” but I know that in the past and how I grew up with what I was exposed to...That I would come to realize how unhealthy it is just for me. 

This post isnt particularly about 2doc itself, but its more about discussing how I handled MY reaction to something that I have seen over and over. In a way, I could see those abusive tones that were present.

Basically Caskit never experienced good healthy relationships and decided that it was a good idea to use gorillaz as a processing strategy....not a good idea in the end cause...OOOHHHHHHH 

It confused me more than before!!! 

I got friends that tag their stuff, and I dont really get so bothered with peoples own opinions, cause I was more worried about how I would come to understand everything. 

When I think about how fans are dividing and putting up a wall to keep “haters outa my yard”  it usually has to deal with shipping stuff, and character hating. And I guess I was confused about everyone’s perception of the characters.

Talking about the characters, I dont have a “least favorite to most” cause I have specific connections to them in different ways. 

I can find similarities to noodle for the expectations she had in a band at age 10 and growing up (plus we are both gays that dont like to publicly talk about relationships) 

I connect with Russel cause I lost a piece of myself  after a paranormal encounter and 3 near death experiences and suffer hallucinations. His protective demeanor to little noodle clicked with me. I see him as the Heart and soul, dedicated and warm friendly guy. ( you mean a decent human being right?)

I relate to 2d in a way that I share his enthusiasm, and mad bravery to live with the same guy who ran him over and caused 2 accidents that are permanent. 

I relate to murdoc in a weird way...  His childhood hits too close to home for me, as a CSA survivor of 2 incidents, pain addict and victim of abuse, draws similarities. But there were things that he has done that match things to my past like the abusive father, and dwelling on the darker aspect of a bittersweet reality. I was expressing physical violence to “show affection” and was never called out for it. I was not just a victim, I was also the abuser and since it was something that murdoc is faced with, is why I hated him. He is (for me) the thing I hate about myself. 

When I saw more and more fans hating on murdoc I wondered if people would ever think I was the same as him. Fans didnt like the way he treated 2d  and the rest of the band, And I agreed. Fans hated him for lying and causing drama and I agreed.  

His ignorance was a comedy slapstick (dressing in a nazi uniform cause he thought it “looked cool” despite russel telling him that its not a good idea) and was seen as the “crazy hooligan that has delusional dreams of fame”  and it bothered me that jamie used this to cover up allot of obvious issues that needed to be addressed. and the way that the fandom treated him made me think about how I would be accused of being like him. 

(thank goodness I didnt cause a car accident and have to sell my soul to satan for a shot at fame with a kickass band and didnt make uncomfortable sexual jokes or ignore others that tried to help me.) 

I can separate what justifies the hate on murdoc when it comes to abuse and causing shit to go down. becuase I did those things in the past, but it didnt take me more than a decade or more to realize that what I did was wrong! I didnt take forever to change for the better. so Im frustrated at him for taking so long to turn around and go “holly fuck im a bastard! I should probably fix that” 

Yeah NyOO ShiTT HunnayYY!! 

I dont hate him for being an idiot, I hate that he symbolizes all things wrong about me that never got closure! 

him admitting to being the cause of 2d’s social anxiety and eye damage as well as the abuse is easier said than done! but the fact that he is letting everything out of the “in-denial basket” is nice for me to see, cause right now Healing and progression in closure to issues of trauma is what is important to me. 

The endgame for my perspective on 2d and murdocs relationship is this: 

I dont want to ship them

I dont even see it as a thing regardless of character development and both guys working through their own shit themselves. 

I am not the best person to explain what a toxic or abusive relationship can be. 

Why? becuase I lived through it and I was both the victim and abuser to myself  and grew up without a good relationship (and I have a fear of positive affection) so I dont enjoy going through the same pattern as before where i shipped abuse in the past as a “dumb 13 year old weeboo” 

I dont view their relationship as romantic, or platonic, or healthy. 

I just want the boys to enjoy their own character growth individually. 

I would like to eventually see a friendship with them But I’ll be more excited if instead the whole band eventually gain a healthy relationship with everyone.  

Year 2018 marks the year I jumped in head first into gorillaz as a blind fruit bat 

(I call it the year caskit played with fire) for cosplaying ‘murdoc fuckn wrinkles’ at a convention around the time the fandom was yelling at him and jamming to 2d’s album. 

Caskit jumped into the shipping lava all for Behavioral analyzing and hopped over fences to see other fans perspectives of characters they liked and hated just to make sure Caskit could understand the illuminati that is Gorillaz. 

I made friends all over the fandom, and thanks to a few people, I gained more confidence to push my art skills and create some kickass art of Gorillaz. 

And yeah I yap yap about murdoc ( looks over @russelhusselhobbs im sorry you put up with my bullshit) but remember peeps. 

I like hearing about the others and have gotten more into 2d’s character as well as Jumping over the fence to go hang out with russel fans and listen to fangirling from friends and just trying to be a freakn fairy godmother and deliver some good representing art. 

And for those who aren’t aware, my past artwork is probably gonna float around so if its signed as Caskit or Caskit19 then its mine and if you see my old 2doc stuff.....,

for the trigger. 

But YEAHHHHHH!!! I wanted to throw all this on the table. and I dont know how to feel about that...(I swear my friend jokes with “need some feel good inc for Caskit” ) Kinda contemplating my choice between sticking my head into a hornets nest or jumping into a dark water trench.... the hornets nest sounds less likely to give me a seizure induced panic attack so ill go for that. ( I have a tolerance for inflicted pain so no you cant hurt me by using violence cause I dont have any consideration for myself and my safety)  

But yeah now I can get back to drawing fun stuff. (hopefuly caskit wont have to bore you guys with stupid shit ever again! xD) 

[acommonrose]

3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 22, 32, 33

Oh man, so many questions.

3. Your favorite side quest.

I feel like this is so hard, because the games I’m in have sort of open enough worlds that even when there’s a “main quest” for the game, the other plots we pursue don’t necessarily feel necessarily like side quests?

But if you want something that’s purely side quest, I’m in a campaign where we’re slowly collecting monster bits to pay for a fey-made hat for a bear. This includes the head and claws of a rakshasa, which can’t be substituted with the head and claws of a tiger, because fey furries demand accuracy.

4. Your current campaign.

So I’m in three right now, two I play in and one I DM, and since I don’t feel like typing out a lot about all three, let’s just talk about the one I DM.

The game I DM is set at a magic university (well, only sort of now that they’re at high levels). Nominally, I was inspired by the Buffy “school set on the hellmouth” concept, but honestly, that kind of got lost somewhere along the way, and it turned into a mix of Harry Potter and Carmilla with also a lot of NPCs inspired by children’s fantasy novels. Basically, in the first arc, my players discovered that the school’s dean was a vampire necromancer using the school (and its surrounding forest) as a place to build and “test” new undead creatures, and after killing her, they drew the wrath of her creator: an undying warlock of Vecna who had used his charisma to take over the country’s largest revolutionary group and co-opt it for his own purposes. They’ve now defeated him, which released Vecna into the world, so their current plot (and the last major arc of the game) involves collecting a number of artifacts that can banish Vecna from the Prime Material Plane.

5. Favorite NPC.

I’m going with favorite NPC I’ve created for this question, and for that, it’s very clearly Aldaril “Dare” Elsinthar, my “uselessly handsome” elven prince. He’s one of the younger children of the head of an elvish city-state, and he’s young enough (about 40) and has few enough actual responsibilities that he can basically just wander around, staying with different nobles and being a bard. In actuality, he’s actually highly interested in history and politics, and he uses his access to different noble estates to sneak around and read their private letters to find out what he can about nobles’ personal affairs by reading between the lines. So not as dumb as he looks. Sort of. Mostly. Did I mention that he has cropped short bright pink hair?

I intended him to be a not terribly important NPC, who would show up in the town the PCs are based in to give them relevant historical information from time to time. (His twin sister, who’s also a major NPC, was actually intended to be the more important of the two, he was introduced through her.) As it turned out, everyone really liked him, and he pretty quickly became the bard’s love interest, so he’s definitely a permanent fixture now.

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

Okay, so I started typing up a different answer, but actually, the most memorable death was probably an NPC in the in person game I’m currently playing in. We’d opened our first game in a tavern and had become friendly with the family running the tavern (after saving it from destruction by fire creatures), particularly their young son who really liked hearing stories of heroes. My bard, being a bard and also particularly interested in spreading her story for Reasons, was more than happy to tell him stories of our party’s adventures, so he really internalized that we were cool heroes with cool stories.

Then, at a big New Year’s celebration, we were all attacked by a shadow dragon, and this young boy jumped in front of us to to protect my character (and I think one of the others who failed the save) from the dragon’s breath weapon. We tried to resurrect him, but his soul is apparently not free, so that’s a quest we’ve yet to finish and that’s gotten more personal for my character after the Raven Queen guilted her hard about putting her life above his.

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.

I feel kind of weird and narcissistic saying something I built and ran, but I actually loved the midgame boss battle I built. Their boss (the warlock I mentioned above) used a modified version of the Time Stop spell to stop time for everyone but my party and his party--which consisted of him and four zombies, each one with a similar appearance and skill set to a player character.

9. Your favorite thing about D&D.

So I read a lot of fantasy novels as a kid, and I think initially it was about getting to sort of play that out but as the sort of character I wanted to see more of in fantasy novels. (Look, obviously pretty much all my characters are going to be queer women.) But I think there’s also a really weird wish fulfillment aspect to it too? Like some of it is straightforward--I like playing high charisma characters, because I’m not at all charismatic, and it’s fun to pretend I’m good with people (though I’m bad enough at playing high charisma and seem to only really be able to pull of patronizing and mean, which is never my goal, that I should probably... stop playing high charisma characters.) But D&D’s also a really fun way to make the dumb choices that I have no desire to actually play out in real life? Like I am not a violent person (and am also very weak), but it’s fun to play a character who likes hitting things, and I’m fairly ace, but it’s fun to have ill-advised one-night stands in game, even though I have absolutely no desire to do that in the real world.

22. What color was your first dragon?

There’s three possible answers to that. The first dragon I ever encountered in a game was an ancient blue dragon in my first ever game, who we asked to store a super dangerous artifact for us and who we obviously did not fight as puny level 3 or 4 characters. The first dragon fight I was ever a part of was a red dragon wyrmling, who was the boss of a one-shot I ran for some friends who wanted to try playing D&D over well over two years ago now. (Said dragon had become the mayor of a small town and then had hired bandits to attack travelers to town so that he could claim credit when he hire mercenaries to fight said bandits.) Lastly, the first dragon I fought as a player was a black dragon wyrmling in my current in person game, who had been attacking a band we were sent to rescue, which, incidentally, is how my bard met her love interest. (The dragon had torn off zir shirt, so it did not take much for my bard to be into zim, and ze was instantly in love after she used her last spell slot to heal zim.)

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)

A mix of support caster, tank, and skill monkey, because I like feeling like people need me and that I’m good at things. The latter part is also why, failing that, I also like playing classes like rogues or warlocks that can do a lot of damage without having to be particularly clever about it.

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?

I tend to start with a concept, which is usually some combination of general character archetypes, specific characters I want to use as inspiration, and specific takes on the class I want to play. (The last one I’ve been doing a lot more as I get to know the game better--my two current characters are “paladin who doesn’t like her god” and “bard who doesn’t lie”.) From that, I’ll expand into one or two paragraphs of backstory to give a general idea of who they are and what inspired them to become adventurers. It usually takes a few months of playing the character to flesh out their backstory more, and at that point, I’ll just discuss the important stuff with my DM and keep the rest somewhere in the back of my mind in the off chance it’s relevant.

[runridedive]

The SPAR Proteas coast to opening day win

The SPAR Proteas coasted to a winning start at the Diamond Challenge in Polokwane this afternoon, beating neighbours Namibia 78-28 in the six-team netball tournament opener at the Ngoako Ramatlhodi Sports Complex.

It was always going to be a tough start for the Namibians, who have failed to beat South Africa in nine previous encounters and are ranked 23 places below them in the world. While the visitors managed to hold their own in the opening minutes, the home team had opened up an 11-goal lead by the first break.

The slick-looking SPAR Proteas extended that gap to 29 goals by half time, which was reached on 38-9. Coach Norma Plummer then took the opportunity to ring in the changes in the second half, making sure all 12 of her players had plenty of time on court. The South Africans continued to dominate to claim the 50-goal win. It was not their largest winning margin over the Namibians, however. That came back in 2002, when the Proteas beat them by 68 goals. Interestingly, they also scored 78 goals in that game.

Meanwhile, apart from the convincing win there was more cause for celebration in the SA camp, with goal attack Maryka Holtzhausen earning her 100th cap for the team. It was a particularly significant venue for reaching the milestone, considering the 31-year-old made her debut in the Limpopo city 11 years ago and hasn’t played there in national colours since. She is just the second SPAR

Proteas player to reach the century mark, after teammate and good friend Erin Burger (109), who played the first quarter of today’s match.

“I don’t think it’s that different from when I played my first game at the same venue all those years back,” she admitted afterwards. “The nerves before the game never go away, but I’m relieved it’s over. There was a lot of hype before the time and now I can actually say I’m a 100-capped player. I never thought I would have 100 caps for South Africa, but playing at the same venue where I started, it’s amazing. It’s a very special day for me and my teammates have made it even more special. I really appreciate it.”

SPAR Proteas captain Bongi Msomi was pleased with her team’s first outing, saying: “We felt good. There are quite a few things we still want to work on, but it was just great to step out on court as a team again and get some great passages of play.

“It was a good start but obviously we are never satisfied so we’d like to keep getting better from here.

“Everyone had time on court and it was pretty amazing – they all did really well, so I think that’s a great take out of this game.”

As for the impressively vocal home crowd, Msomi added: “It’s just awesome seeing them getting so excited and involved in the game and hopefully we’ll get even bigger numbers towards the end of the week.”

In other opening day Diamond League action, the second match of the day, between Zimbabwe and Botswana, was a much tighter one than the first. There were just two goals separating the teams at half time, but the Zimbabweans then surged ahead to claim a 43-30 win.

Despite the win, Zim coach Lloyd Makunde wasn’t particularly happy with his players. “They didn’t play well. There were a lot of mistakes. Our passing was pathetic today, so we’ll go back to the drawing board with a training session in the morning to try to rectify that.”

In a thrilling finale to the opening day, the other South African team in the tournament, the President’s XII went head to head with Zambia. The home team, packed with up-and-coming young stars, were just a step behind the Zambians in the first two quarters but a phenomenal effort in the third saw them taking the lead and eventually finishing as 48-46 winners.

The post The SPAR Proteas coast to opening day win appeared first on Run Ride Dive.

from WordPress https://www.runridedive.com/the-spar-proteas-coast-to-opening-day-win/

[lyricalafrica2]

Impala

I love my life!!

So Tuesday, only five days in, we leave our plot in Ishasha river camp, a very wild and basic camp, to have a drive through the park. Lots of scrub, lots and lots of scrub. You’d literally think the wildlife had taken a vacation. Very green, fairly pleasing, but not so much else. We spotted a herd of buffalo on the horizon. Strange as wildlife wise, the were the very last thing I came across and only only when I got to Zim last time. Still it was something, oh but hang on, just st over the brow were an entire herd, stood in our path.

I can quite believe that they’re dangerous. You ever seen their horns up close and the power behind those limbs? After that, they just kept coming. Impala, bushbuck, warthogs, gotta love em and after following guidance and backtracking, a lion. An actual lioness, just lazing under a tree like the day was hers and there was nothing better to do. No matter where you find these majestic felines, they never fail to impress. Just beauty, power, magnificence personified.

We left the park soon after surveying the right valley and seeing as much as we though we could. Down the the road or rather dirt track we encountered baboons but little else. I snoozed after a wave of fatigue hit me. I resurfaced just incidentally as we trundled along. A minute later as I struggled to readjust my eyes to the changing landscape, I saw movement in the grass to the left of me just off the road. I blinked, I blinked again. I couldn’t believe my fricken luck. I gave an exasperated garbled shout to Chris, I really did struggle to get the words out. “Stop….l l leopard”…. he pulled up a few hundred yards allowing a vehicle to pass us then started to reverse. I still had them in sight, but they had started to make distance by now. Two juveniles playing in the grass. The exact same situation I’d ever encountered the first leopards I’d ever seen. Two, juveniles playing in the grass. Perhaps waiting for mum to return with food? Amazing!!! We went on to encounter elephants later in the day, just set back f I’m the road we’re there we’re works going on. Given this, all I wanted to know was why we hadn’t seen giraffe!?

Given the sparse start to the day, I really couldn’t have asked for more!

Following a trail around, we wound our way to Jacarta rest lodge. It has basic camping facilities at the entrance, but we decided to investigate the lodge to see if they had an area closer by. We asked about camping, but they were eager to offer us good rates for rooms (it is low season and despite the threat of rain, it definitely has its perks. The peace and quiet is unbelievable!). And so after a rather long and bumpy day on the road, we succumbed to a room. The lodge was based on a crater lake, surrounded by a sumptuous tropical forest. Home to around umpteen species of primate including red and black colobus monkeys, African velvets, blue monkeys and baboons. My eyes lit up with I saw them playing in the trees just as we pulled up and further more as I stepped into the main social area, of the bar and dining area. The views across the lake were amazing and the Virungu mountains glistened in the background. That misty blue haze that accentuated distant peaks making the seem so alluring.

The chalet was a spacious wooden affair, with a front area with two chairs and a table next to a large window covered in a mozi mesh, overlooking the most truely magical view. Oh, plus a large bathroom with a shower, lined with pebbles and the most uncontrollable hot water. At that point, I could really say I preferred cold showers. Dinner was lovely, the service amazing and what seems to be a consistent Ugandan standard. I really do have nothing bad to say at this point, except to see them really bloom with their name own identity and pride would be amazing. I say that knowing they became independent in ‘62, but still.

After breakfast the following morning i decided to set off with my camera around the lodge to capture some of the many species of primate. I found one colobus, but many African vervet. Making themselves known through the rustling in the trees and dropping of various seeds in my direction. I made my way down to the lake and they come down to the lower branches to investigate. Their cute and inquisitive, but cautious little faces coming to within a meter or two of where I stood.

I’m no stranger to vervet after my various periods of work with them, but I’ll never tire of their antics. Time spent in nature and all it has to behold is never wasted!

We left the lodge at midday and had marked out a campsite beside Lake George. The aim was to camp and cook for ourselves in the bush as much as possible. We were aiming for a camp around the lake, with lots of apparent elephant activity, though after inding our way through the optional sites despite earlier impressive views, they seemed to have little maintenance. In that I mean, no running water. Don’t get me wrong, it was doable and in extreme circumstances it’s fine, but it was rather warm.

We eventually found our way to Simba Camp. The bonus… they had cold beer, two tabby cats and a swimming pool. We pulled up in the campsite and despite the season appeared to have three neighbors. A quick cold drink and a few laps of the pool were a welcome distraction to the humidity. It was so nice to get moving again after sitting for so long in a warm car. Dinner was great, the service once again exceptional. The staff so far have all been so polite and sweet, just genuinely friendly and helpful. I can’t say enough good things about the places I’ve stated. We’d asked for a fire to be built and noticed a gathering beside the measly burning pile of wood. It had gotten a little damp, but it still glowed invitingly.

A group of girls gathered around, visibly engrossed in the cell phones. I approached a seat feeling rather awkward. I greeted them, only one girl reciprocated. As the night wore on the group became more animated and talk flowed a little more freely. They were all apparently on tour through Uganda and SA, they were diverse in nationality, but appeared to have some cohesion for a group of recently bonded strangers. One girl stood out, a traveller since leaving school, from Devon. She stayed later chatting than the rest. An elegant poise and perhaps a more mature outlook on life. She’d just joined her first organised tour after going it alone for so long. The group were off to visit an orphanage the next day which a few of them wee excited about. It may just be me, but visiting an orphanage is much like visiting a zoo. The inhabitants shouldn’t be there, in some cases in some warped way it may keep them safe, but they deserve so much better. Soo, unless you want to make a plan to work towards a better future, why would you go and merely spectate?

After camp went quite and I’d had enough smoke blown my way to melt my eyeballs, I retreated back to our little mobile home to settle for the night.

Life on the road is an adventure, you literally never know what is around the corner; but it all comes with lessons and for me, I’m just taking it all in!