#I think it was Luchino that ruined it

[yellow-artz]

Thompson’s letter

[oletus-writer]

ahh would you please please consider a nsfw alphabet for aesop carl? no worries if not! i really like your work, the luchino one was so good!

Ah, thank you for the compliment. I really didn’t think anyone would like the evil reptilian one. Sorry for taking a while, nsfw alphabets seem to be a pretty popular request, and they take a while.

Aesop NSFW Alphabet

Warnings: nsfw

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

He’s pretty tired, so aftercare is usually a few words of praise and toweling you down, before snuggling with you under the covers. If you want anything, such as a snack, he’ll begrudgingly get up and get you what you want.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

If he had to choose, it would be your lips - how you wet them with your tongue, how they curve up when you smile, how soft they are. Your mouth is what he always look at when you speak, since meeting your eyes is harder. On him? Exactly the opposite of you - there aren’t that many things he likes about himself he likes, but perhaps he doesn’t mind his legs. You like to kiss them so much, so perhaps they’re not so bad.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He’s a pretty inexperienced guy, so you’ll have to be the one taking the reins. If you don’t want him to cum somewhere, he won’t, although, it does look good dripping down your thighs or splattered over your back.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He'd kind of want to fuck you in your sleep. Of course, the two of you have to discuss this beforehand, set boundaries, etc., but the allure of using you as a cumhole while risking you waking up is like sex with a corpse and semi-public sex without the illegalities.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

He has absolutely no experience and doesn’t know what he’s doing. He has no time and no social skills to get any bitches. Although, he does know the basic anatomy, as he couldn’t function as an embalmer elsewise.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying)

Classic missionary. It’s intimate, and feels like he’s in control of his life, for once. Although the initial embarrassment of being a virgin makes him want to hide his face, seeing yours is worth it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Aesop is nervous, when it comes to sex, so he’s not the one to be making jokes in the moment. If you do, he might think it’s ruining the mood a bit, or be thankful that you’re trying to calm him down. Either way, he’d crack a small smile and move on.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?)

He didn’t think that pubic hair would matter that much to people, so he doesn’t groom it at all. And about the carpet matching the drapes - his eyebrows are grey, so it would make sense for his pubes to be too.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? are they romantic?)

He’ll whisper sweet things into your ear and constantly praise you, if he’s not too nervous to speak. He’s not romantic per se, since there won’t be candles or anything of the sort, but his heart will be swelling with love.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcannon)

He’s done it a few times, but it’s never felt as good as your hands touching his penis. After meeting you, he’s masturbated more often, when he’s uncomfortable in asking you to do him the favour.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He’d like to be topped and praised by you, to leave him hickey only the two of you would see. Being an insecure man, he’s unsure of whether or not he’s doing a good job in the moment. On a less vanilla note, he wouldn’t mind manhandling you (or being manhandled) on some of his rougher days. To use you as nothing but a toy to please him would calm him down if he’s ever angry.

L = Location (favourite places to have sex)

The bedroom’s always a safe place to have sex, and Aesop isn’t willing to risk his already suffering social life to fuck you in public. The couch is too uncomfortable, so the two of you would be sticking to the bed.

M = Motivation (what turns them on?)

Wear revealing clothes, touch him in all the right places, the works. Sometimes, when he’s feeling particularly horny, the right angle might even get his mind racing.

N = No (what turns them off?)

He’s quite a devoted man and would do almost anything for you, and that sometimes shows itself in sex. He’s not going to voice his turn offs, in fear of you leaving him, so you’ll have to encourage the communication. He doesn’t particularly like anything unsanitary or anything that would cause pain - he doesn’t get why, in these situations, the pain would become pleasurable.

O = Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? how skilled are they?)

With Aesop on the receiving end of oral sex, he’d be a whimpering, shaking mess, which is quite embarrassing to him. Once he gets used to the shame he feels, he’d prefer receiving the oral. While he’s got no experience, he’s a fast learner and would remember every act that makes you feel good.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

Aesop is slow and sensual in fear of hurting you - he can’t go that fast, either, since the autism man is quite weak. Although, bottoming, he wouldn’t really mind, and would let you set the pace.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies)

To be in a situation for a quickie, one would have to be somewhere where having proper sex is not viable. That would mean being in a semi-public situation or close to some sort of commitment. Taking these risks would not be something Aesop is willing to do.

R = Risk (are they experimental? do they take risks?)

As long as it’s in private and the consequences aren’t too big, he’s fine with trying things out, even if it’s something he wouldn’t normally do. He won’t suggest anything, though, and isn’t very experimental at heart.

S = Stamina (how long do they last?)

One round, two if you’re going to stretch it. He hasn’t got a lot of exercise aside from matches. All that running doesn’t improve how exhausted he’d feel after cumming, though. Perhaps overstimulate him to see how he likes it.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them?)

He doesn’t own any toys, and most likely didn’t realise sex toys existed. He’s a busy man, and never had he thought being so intimate with another human would feel this good.

U = Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

Don’t tease him, or he’d think he’s being punished. He doesn’t like to tease either - why do all this when the two of you could just have sex? To him, it wasted time.

V = Volume (how loud are they?)

Audible, but not too loud. You’d hear grunts, heavy breathing, and a few moans from him, but unless you’ve done something game changing, you won’t hear him scream. That doesn’t mean your name is exempt from his tongue, though; he’d be chanting it like a prayer.

W = Wild card (a random headcannon for the character)

Aesop has nice thighs, for no reason at all. They’re genetically curved and lean, and can squeeze your head with more strength than expected.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

He’s a grower, with a 5.5 inch (13.9cm) dick when flaccid, becoming 5.7 (14.5cm) when erect. It’s got a vein on the side and the tip flushes beautifully when hard. It’s on the slender side, but is an overall pretty dick.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His libido is a bit lower than average, and he usually shuns the thoughts that do come. Even now, he feels a bit disrespectful in thinking those thoughts about you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He falls asleep pretty quickly, faster than he’d fall asleep normally. He’d wrap his arms around you and either spoon you, bring your head to his chest, or bury his face in you. Any hesitation he might’ve shown in touching you is gone in his sleep. Finally, his features have smoothed out to something peaceful, and he can rest.

[heartshapedbubble]

Hello again! I requested the spring heated wine headcannons! I wanted to request another luchino fic/headcannon but something angsty if you're comfortable ^^

I just love angst lol -🍄

oh my god i was supposed to finish this yesterday but i literally got lost ?? and spent like an hour walking outside in the rain without an umbrella and my phone on 1% until i found my way back but um anyways hi im back and i hope this fic is good enough anon🤲 sorry for the wait

the person i once knew, a luchino diruse oneshot🦎

art creds: @/micro_menbow on twt

not proofread woo!!!, cw: mentions of blood and syringes/injections/needles, this one is kinda cringe tbh i hope its good enough anon, reader's gender not specified, a little less italian pet names than usual, luchino is a cocky little shit and i love him, yet another fic i did in samsung notes yas slay, the formatting is weird but im too lazy to fix it so uhh yet another slay i guess?

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"Looks pretty charming, right?" The brunette man was beaming with excitement.

You two just arrived at the small, fishing village, where you were appointed to do some research on reptiles. The shack that was supposed to be your shelter for the week wasn't in the best condition - the roof had a couple holes in it and some of the windows were broken, but it was clear that it didn't matter to Luchino, your research partner. As he was excitedly inspecting the shack, the combination of damp air and annoying mosquitoes left you exhausted to the point you laid down onto your luggage to catch a breath.

"Well, if you call that ruin charming, I guess our research will be done in no time." You laughed. "Phew. As if housing is the most important thing about our mission!" You rolled your eyes - he put on the oh-so-high-and-mighty voice again. "This is a great opportunity to explore and find new species. Just look at the conditions! Perfect for finding various reptiles and snakes."

"Okay, okay, ramble all you want, but first, let's go inside and set everything up." You knew that once you start an argument with him, it never ends. But as much as he annoyed you with his stubbornness, it definetly was a valuable trait for his profession.

As you clacked with various bottles and equipment, you saw him already putting on his coat and gloves and preparing himself to head outside.

"But, Luchino, you barely ate today, you can't just go outside like that! I know you're excited but-"

It was obvious he wasn't listening. "Yeah, okay, I'm just going to go outside and check the surroundings! No exploring or anything." He basically rushed out of the house. Not much could be done except roll your eyes - but, oh well, it gave you enough time to prepare your microscopes and books.

A few hours passed. You already did a big part of the job - took notes about your previous researches, set up the petri dishes, labeled various sample bags and what not. There was so much to be done and it occupied you to the point you just forgot that Luchino even left. Him sprinting into the house took away the peace you just got to enjoy. He was ecstatic, his eyes twinkling and him doing weird hand motions.

"Okay, ___, you won't believe what happened! I ran into the university colleagues, who happened to be on vacation a couple of miles away from the village, and they told me they have something that might help our research, a snake actually, and that it might be the rarest and most fascinating specimen we-" He spoke so quickly you barely understood him and ran out of breath.

"Oookay. Now slow down and try again - what happened?"

"Our colleagues offered to give us a snake - no, lizard - they think might help our research a lot, they said that it's not like any other species we researched before"

"Give it to us? No payment or anything?"

"Nope. Not a cent."

The new situation made you think. It all just sounded too good to be true. And you knew that said colleagues were not the most generous people, so what led them to such an offer?

"I... don't know. Something smells fishy there. I'd recommend you being extra careful."

"So you're in?"

"I mean, I guess, but-"

"Alright! Perfect! I'll get it tommorrow then."

He headed straight to bed, not even willing to drink some tea with you.

"And the surroundings, Luchino? You said you'd check them ou-" "They're fine! Just a regular lake or swamp area. Nothing special." He turned his face towards the wall and covered himself up with the blanket. You sighed - the situation occupied his brain and now nothing was on his mind except it. It was a common occurence and something you constantly scolded him for in the university's laboratories, but this time it worried you more than usual.

You tried to shake off your anxiety. I mean, it's just some weird snake, apparently, It can't be that bad....

Can it?

the next morning

You stabbed your dry, canned food with a fork. You couldn't decide if it was the weird flavour or the whole reptile situation that took away your appetite. Luchino said that he'd be back in an hour, but it seemed like years and years have passed. "Maybe for the better", you thought to yourself. The dizziness and nausea that your anxiety caused you were already present and it wasn't just something you could shrug off as usual.

"I have it!" The sudden scream shook you out of your trance as Luchino burst through the door yet again, holding the little cage like it was a trophy of sorts. He gently put it on the table as you tried to get a peek of the creature that hid inside it.

Your anxiety was put aside as curiosity won over.

He grabbed a key from his pocket and nervously opened the cage. A small snake crawled out of it - no, a lizard? You leaned in to get a closer look. The little animal had the body of a snake, but the scales were unusually big and tough. It also had something that looked like small limbs growing out of it.

"What the hell did you bring here? What kind of peculiar animal is this?"

"Good question! I have no idea." He gently opened his fist in front of the animal as it crawled onto his palm, his fingers gently petting the scaled surface. "But, this little guy sure is something. Apparently he grows limbs and other parts of his body, not just the tail. When i picked him up, he was just a snake - but look at him now! His legs are growing already." He picked up his notebook and the quill and started sketching the snake-lizard on the first empty page he opened. "Even if we don't know what he is exactly, he's certainly helping us out during our research. Actually, I'm pretty sure we're at an advantage over everyone else right now!" The little creature gently rubbed its head against his arm, as if it just understood what he said.

"Ah, well, I guess you'll be so occupied with it to the point I won't be needed to complete the work?" You rolled your eyes. Luchino and you were always bickering at work and always wanted to do things by themselves, but you couldn't ever say you hated him. In fact, you cared for him, a lot. He was someone you used to look up to before you applied for your job, and he still is, even though you hate to admit it. Even with his (sometimes) unbearable attitude, he was a very charming man, in his own peculiar way.

"Oh, no, your help will definetly be needed! And well appreciated, too. I'll just... take care of the little guy." The animal was back in its cage. "Now, go to sleep, ___, I could bet you're very tired already."

the next morning

"Morning, ___."

Luchino's voice made you turn your head. He was standing at the door yet again.

"Oh, hey, Luchino. Let me guess, you went out again without me, right? And probably did most of the job again?"

"Well, I didn't want you wake you up or anything.."

You suddenly noticed his weird mannerisms. He was hiding his arm behind his back, and the cage wasn't easily visible either. His expression didn't help him much anyway, since he looked like he just bit into a lemon.

"Luchino, could you show me the reptile again?" You mumbled, waiting for the response. You wanted to bait out as much information as possible.

The man just sighed and sat down next to you.

"Well, here's the thing."

He placed the cage on the desk. It was empty, and the lock was hanging loose on the side.

"How? Where? Did you lose it?"

"In a way, yes. I decided to go out with the little fellow, you know, to see how he reacts to the habitat and to see what exactly he eats, but when I let him out of the cage and went to set up the sample bags, he..."

He then showed you the arm he has been hiding since he entered. The pale skin of his wrist has been penetrated by the animal's fangs, leaving a sickly green color around the wound.

"Oh god, are you okay? Is it venomous? I may have a bottle of antidote laying around somewhere.." you mumbled as you grabbed his wrist to get a closer look. You traced your fingers over it, causing the man to shiver.

"I doubt so. I... actually never got bit by a snake or any reptile since I was always cautious around them, but it seems like I was too carefree this time..."

"The animal escaped, right?"

"Yep. Ran away right after the bite. Guess we can forget about being at an advantage."

Damn it! The chance you two had slipped right out of your hands. "Ugh. Well, it seems like we'll have to resort to basic research." You knew it was too good to be true. While rummaging through your medicine kit, you found some bandages, and gently wrapped them around Luchino's wrist.

"Here. It's all I have. At this point you can just pray that it's not venomous"

"Thank you."

You stood up, heading towards the cupboard where you stored various serums and other concoctions. Some bottles spilled over and created a sticky, intoxicating mixture that was pouring down the wooden door of the cupboard.

Your partner drummed the desk with his fingers, seemingly lost in thought.

"Did you know that he didn't have fangs when I first got him?"

The question snapped you out of your little chore.

"What?"

"The animal grew fangs today in the morning. I had no idea how, since yesterday he barely had them."

"Well, they weren't lying when they said that it's a very interesting specimen.."

"Truly. A wonder of evolution, if you will..."

three days later

If you could go back, you'd probably bite your tongue over what you thought about Luchino. Looking back at it, you were a bit ashamed of it... especially considering he hasn't been around recently. It was incredibly lonely, to say the least. He woke up before you, and arrived back to the shack when you were already long asleep. He didn't eat, didn't talk to you, yet you always woke up with a cup of coffee on the table and your desk tidied up for work.

However, you thought of a plan. You knew he'd probably hate your guts for it, and that taking in that much caffeine would probably keep you awake for the following 3 days, but your curiosity was stronger than your morals. What could he possibly be doing?

You were on your sixth cup of coffee, your heart beating like crazy while you were curled up in your bed, waiting for Luchino to arrive.

Almost as if you manifested him, he appeared, gently locking the door after entering. The lantern sitting near the door wasn't enough to fully illuminate his slender figure. He slowly went into the working room, sitting by the desk and slowly shutting the door. You waited for some time before getting up.

Since the keyhole was stuffed with cotton, you pressed your ear against the rotting wooden door, trying to make out the words he mumbled.

"Scales...Need...More venom...Experimental...."

It was a horrible idea, really, but you slowly opened the door a bit, praying to whatever gods out there that it doesn't creak.

You had to look twice to reassure yourself that yes, you're indeed seeing what you think you are - parts of Luchino's skin were covered in tough, green scales, his shirt torn in the front to reveal his bare, scale-covered chest. He wore an eyepatch above his eye, but you could make out some green blotches hiding behind it. The syringe he was holding was full of green liquid with honey-like consistency. You gulped watching him precisely aim the vein with the needle, injecting the thick mixture into his bloodstream. The eye bags under his eyes were not something easily ignored, but they definetly didn't take away the smug grin he had on his face. His disheveled, tired appearance and the way he maneuvered with the syringe made him look like some lunatic.

"Luchino...?"

Your whisper was enough to kick him out of his trance, his eyes opening wide upon seeing you.

"___! What..are you doing here? Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"I propose a better question - What the hell is happening to you?" You approached him and tapped the exposed scales, the rough surface scratching your fingertips.

He only chuckled in response.

"Well, my dear ___, we might be reptile-less, but now, we have something much better...", he said as he victoriously raised his scaled arm, showing it off. You also saw black claws replacing his nails, making his hands look predator-like.

"And by that you mean?"

"We have me."

"I... still have no idea what's going on."

He propped himself up and put his legs on the table. "Well, after the bite, I managed to suck out most of the venom", he spoke as he spinned the syringe between his fingers as if it was a majorette's baton, "but I noticed some very...interesting side effects from the bite, such as those scales you see on my body right now. This might be the best thing to happen - as much as I was concerned at first, this is a miracle! Using me as a test subject, we could potentionally evolve the human race to have bulletproof skin or something!" He didn't seem to care about your concerned expression. This all seemed so insane, so inhuman that you started shaking and couldn't withold yourself anymore.

"Do you even hear yourself when you speak? You're batshit insane, Luchino! This transformation you're enduring is nothing natural, in fact, I'm 100% sure it was caused by some form of witchcraft! I know it's inevitable but please! Stop making the problem even bigger!" You unleashed your anger upon him, waving your hands around as you felt your face heat up. Luchino looked at you unphased as he waved the injection around.

"You're making such a big deal out of all this, amore. I know you are concerned, but please, trust me on this one. I might look different, but I'm the same old Luchino, trust me." He said with a soft voice, you could even say he said it mockingly. As he glared at you he carelessly aimed the needle at his vein yet again without even looking, the liquid pulsing as he pushed the plunger. You felt nauseous just looking at him parade with the venomous substance, let alone injecting it.

"God, you have always been so stubborn... ugh, okay, fine, I'll let you be, but stop with the fucking pet names, damn! Where did you even get those from..." He just smiled at your little angry fit.

a week later

It was about time you two presented your work - you luckily managed to stop Luchino from handing in the notes he made about the changes on his body though. The university decided to hold a small banquet in order to celebrate the successful researches.

Luchino sat beside you by the dining table, your concealer hiding the scaly skin, and bandages covering what the concealer couldn't. He was visibly nervous, and to be honest, you weren't really calm either. You could see him discreetly pull out the syringe again from under the table.

"Put it down! At least wait until the banquet ends", you hissed at him as you smacked his hand. "Okay, jeez, it's not like anyone would notice..." he groaned as he put it back in his pocket.

Suddenly he stood up. "I'm going to go outside, I desperately need some fresh air", he mumbled to himself. You tagged along with him.

He picked up the syringe yet again and injected it, his nervousness seemingly disappearing as he sighed out of relaxation. You zoned out, staring at the rain that soaked the nearby park and washing all the vibrant colors off for a short while.

"I also wanted to thank you for your work", he suddenly murmured, "sorry for getting preoccupied with my own research. That was selfish of me."

Your glared at him, suddenly mellowing out - from your two years of knowing him, one thing you were sure about was that he wasn't the type to shower everyone with praise.

"Oh... you're welcome", you stumbled over your own words, stuttering as you felt your face turn red, "...but I mean, you provided me with coffee everyday, and tidied up my desk and everything, so I mean, all those succesful researches were also thanks to your care-"

"That's nothing compared to your work, compagno" he grinned as he stood up straight. "I knew you were the right one."

"Wait, what?

"Oh, you don't know how the headmaster set up the research teams?"

"No??"

"Oh well. Basically, I was the one who asked him to pair me with you."

"What?!"

You were red in the face, staring at him. He just curiously tilted his head.

"But... why?"

"I wanted to use the time we'd have during our research to bond with you. I admire your work a lot, even though we constantly bicker. Sadly, the situation was unexpected, as you know. Sorry for being so selfish."

He took one step further, and now he was standing right in front of you. You never really noticed the height difference between you two, but god, was it prominent now that you looked at it.

"I... really like you, ___."

His hand gently grabbed your cheek, carressing it. His claws slowly scratched your face, but it didn't matter.

"Woah... did it hurt your dignity to finally admit this?"

"Oh god, shut up."

You laughed.

"The feeling is mutual, Luchino."

He bit his lip.

"So, does that mean that I can...?"

"Go ahead."

He gently tilted your head with his cold hand, softly pressing his lips against yours.

The warmth of his lips was everything to you. No matter his scales, his claws, low body temperature and all the inhuman traits now present, the hot sensation that unfolded once he kissed you reminded you of how human he was. You lost yourself in the moment, slowly reaching for his hair and playing with it as he put his other hand on your back.

"I love you too, Luchino."

two weeks later

Perhaps this was the happiest you've ever felt in a long time - your relationship with Luchino was blossoming, and your chemistry improving with every second you two spent together. The usual bickering also wasn't as common - who would have thought?

It was almost midnight, and you were patiently waiting in front of your beloved's door. He said he'd pick you up in a minute, but it has been over half an hour without a trace of him - you started biting your nails out of anxiety, contemplating if you should enter his home. You didn't know if he lived with anyone, either.

"Luchi?" You quietly called him, knowing that it was in vain. You picked up the courage to knock one, two times, and the third time was seemingly a charm.

"Amore, I... please, go home. I'm sorry. I think we should put off our date for now." His voice sounded strained, almost like he was in great pain. You didn't let it slip, knowing something was up.

"Stay put. Is everything okay?" you mumbled as you decided to push the door. It was unlocked, and all lights in the house have been turned off. Everything was veiled by darkness, except the pale blue moonlight illuminating the corners through the open windows.

You anxiously stepped in, the floorboards creaking with every step you made. The volume of his voice indicated that he was in his workroom, in the corner of it. Suddenly, you heard a loud crack coming from beneath your feet.

"Scales?"

You were right. A thin silk-like fold of shedded skin was lying on the floor. The moonlight beam shining on it made it glisten like a polished diamond. As you glanced at the skin, you noticed more of it laying around the floor, all seemingly leading to Luchino. This wasn't good.

You cautiously continued walking, avoiding the scales dragged around the house. Finally, you found yourself in front of your partner's door. His muted groans behind the door worried you even more.

You gently opened the door, not prepared for the sight.

He was laying on the floor, his body seemingly semi-paralyzed as his shaky arm covered his face.

"Tesoro, please, stay away before I hurt you, please, for your own safety..."

You slowly approached him, gently moving the arm away from his face.

He had a painful grimace on his face, his head shaking as his other eye turned into a reptile's, the tough scales tightening the surrounding flesh. He pushed himself away from you with his hand. Droplets of cold sweat poured down from his forehead to his chin.

"You... shouldn't see me like this. Go away, please, leave me!" His cries were interrupted by another layer of scales growing out of his body. You could hear him whimper as blood started staining his shirt.

You wanted to run, wanted to help him, but you couldn't. You froze, your legs paralyzing and your jaw dropping. You could only watch him cry in agony as he squirmed with each transformation. He was helpless, and there was nothing that you could do for him.

"Luchino?" You finally mustered out a word, waking up from your frozen state.

It was funny, and you knew it. The creature standing in front of you was no longer the Luchino you knew. Its eyes were deprived of your beloved's usual curiousity - instead, all you could see was bloodlust. The lizard-like monster hissed, slowly approaching you. You tried to run, escape to save your life - but it was faster than you. His hand gripped your waist, the claws stabbing into your skin and drawing blood, making you scream. There was no escape.

You tried to squirm from the tight grip he held you in - you even tried to bite him. All your attempts to escape were interrupted by a rusted blade stabbing into your abdomen, paralyzing you. Trying to speak through the sea of blood building up in your mouth, aching and writhing while the pain was becoming unbearable, you let out your pathetic last words:

"Please...let me die a painless death."

[mtonette]

top 7 survivors to compress into a cube

i think the post single handedly ruined my life after death. anyway heres the real one.

7. emil. ada is on it that doesnt change i wasnt lying. she cubes him i believe it

6. orpheus. hes a nerd what do you want from me. i could break him like a little glass figure. this goes for the survivor and a little less for the detective but detective is still above emil. i think he should sit in the chair with his notebook and think about what hes done (take me out of the basement so the surv with him can rescue the other half of the team.) ive seen a couple really good players and a couple really bad ones. a great performance is world-ending in the moment but it isn't hard to get back from

5. aesop is like the little autism creature. i want to squish him in my hands. his ability is really annoying if you let him use it. im waiting to go into a match where he does it for a teammate but they dont know how to use it. the long chases are fine i guess but eventually it just gets tedious. get on the chair aesop. have to down him and immediately spot the coffin. making me run across the map to resume chase is annoying as hell. you could at least sit on the chair for a while to lure someone over here.

4. luchino. i have a soft spot for the identity switch survs i think. this fucked up guy is going to get worse whether i chair him over and over or not. he also makes the game soooo annoying if other survivors are aware of him like people are getting free hits left and right.. hes got that smug aura about him i think that makes you wanna punch him. and i do. the stun? one of the worst. he's hell to chase but that makes the satisfaction of chairing him 100% better

3. joker. havent seen a player who knows how to use him yet but if i did this place would absolutely be earned. his hunter counterpart/self is really really scary so i imagine he could be really really annoying with rescues and stuff. like the mercenary with a stupid run but with another survivor halfway across the map. i bet the player would need to know the area if they wanted to get out of a corner, but if theres open space. sheesh

2. victor is a little sad i think. i like letters and writing them and he also is like that. imagine never getting one back. couldnt be me (is literally me) i know what his dog sounds like and usually his players rely on it too much. the cooldown will kill him if you have excitement equipped. which i need to start doing because i cant ban every stunner in rank. and theyre annoying i hate being stunned im going to cube you. i think victor is really cute too all of his skins are adorable. survivors that get circles when you chair them every time

1. edgar is like if bitch was a derogatory word for a boy instead of a girl but apparently he has tgirl and tboy swag. whenever im in matches with him usually his player isnt that good at the game. hes also a stunner but not really. his recharge is worse than eli's, having to see your face and not just you in general. ive had one match where i think i got paintinged three times and i think it pushed me over the edge i need to kill him in real life. affectionate

[terraf1rma]

RATING PEOPLE'S IDV MAINS: BY A THREE WEEK OLD PLAYER WHO GETS TERRORSHOCKED TO KINGDOM COME EVERY TIME I PLAY AGAINST SCULPTOR (HUNTER VERSION)

Galatea (sculptor): y'all terrify me. Like I could be breaking apart a chair and pop! There's a wild statue around me and banging me to death! And bam! A girl with dwarfism (according to the idv community??) in a wheelchair appears and makes you feel guilty about yoinking a pallet on her! Like man do you know how awkward I get when I see a kid in a wheelchair get hit by a pallet i threw down? Man. It's awkward, that's for sure. How do you guys even get through windows?

Jack (the ripper): now, I would get scared of you if it wasn't for the fact that your whole invisibility shazam got ruined by that weird red light thingy. Not sure what it's called but eh. Like you could've terrorshocked me while I was decoding but nope. Red light! Gotta go fast! Suddenly I am sonic and dying in a minute!!

Luchino (evil lizard man): ...I've only ever seen one Luchino and I felt so bad for the guy that I purposefully stayed behind and let him terrorshock™ me like the man couldn't get the jump on any of my teammates I wanna make a pun but idk how to fit it in help-

Mary (bloody queen): I'm stuck between running away screaming and respectfully asking you to marry and terrorshock me. Like that special carry where it looks like Mary is ballroom dancing with the survivors as she carries them to their doom? Exquisite I almost want to get myself killed just to do that it's simp culture shush

Joseph (photographer): the amount of costumes the Josephs have are...intimidating to say the least. I mean I'm saving up for this man myself because rn he's the only hunter I can figure out how to play. Many tasty terrorshocks await me me thinks. He's also very handsome 10/10 would let him terrorshock me. Oh, and midnight gentleman? That's straight up cat culture not wolf you furry-

Leo (hell ember): people say you guys take pity on Emma mains but I've yet to see one that didn't straight up go after me and me only for a whole march like sir please this is your daughter I'm playing as have pity when you see her riding a carousel at like half health let her enjoy this ride DO NOT TERRORSHOC- your skills are very cool tho and I respect you people a bunch

Ann (the herald/nun/apostle/something religious/idk man netease makes me confused): idk how people remember you for your cat when her neck exists- I mean your cat is pretty...lanky and evil as most cats are but like sir stop chewing on my ankles thank you very much. I have no idea how to kite Ann so uh 8/10 also is it Ann or Anne cause like ....?????????

Michiko (geisha): I respect you so much like sir/ma'am/they you have peak friendly hunter energy even when you're trying to cut me down and chair me but please calm down with your butterflies if you don't come around to using them also your so pretty help oh gosh I am ✨simping✨

Smiley face: I forgot his first name @_@. Uh y'all are cool I met one friendly joker main who watched the sea with me and a geisha in lakeside and it was peak bonding moment tbh if you look past the fact that I was bleeding to my death. I'm not even giving any opinions at this point I'm just sharing my experiences huh-

Grace (naiad): guys. Stop drowning people. Notice that there's an r in the word drowning. I'm fine with you downing me but my god STOP MAKING MINITURE LAKES AROUND CHAIRS PLeaSe if I don't die from the chair I'm going to die from the bathwater you're using to create mini lake naiad or not. Anyways I think I know how to kite you??? I'm getting close to figuring it out. I just gotta loop around stuff right? Fun. Until I die.

Violetta (soul weaver): I admire Violetta mains because I tried her out once and I swear she took up half of my tiny little mobile screen and I had no idea where I was going. The fact that you guys can cacoon (I can't spell help-) people to death is really cool too. You guys are probably ento fans too- maybe I think idk how I linked entomologist with soul weaver. Maybe it's the fact that they both like insects? Also does Violetta even have a face because I swear when I saw her for the first time I was crying my ass off because holy shit that's horror movie material right there sir

Yidhra (dream witch): you're clearly the thing jack the ripper mains aspire to be. Invisible- I have no idea how you guys work except for the fact that I should really find out if a character has a bowing emote because damn. At this point I might as well just join dream witch if I want to live through a match with her in it

Hastur (the feaster): when I heard the feaster part, I thought of some guy who really liked eating. Turns out it was just this tentacle abyss guy- I mean you guys are great when I'm not distracted by the thought of food- anyways slap me bitch I have my protection shield thing on that I got from hell ember hah

Gamekeeper: yet another character who's name I forgot. Probably some kind of canadian-american name tho like uh Alfred or um Sam. Abraham?? Washington???? Idk what classifies as an American/Canadian name bro all I know is this guy somehow got the head of the moose shoved into him and became a guy with a deer head. Wack. Your ability to yoink me back with that trap is really cool tho so props to you guys for that

Wu Chang (white/black guards): your hotbox is legendary. I was across the map once and a Wu Chang was on the other side and I suddenly got terrorshocked out of nowhere??? Like sir?? I wasn't even close to you and you still slapped the heck outta me? YOU HAVE AN UMBRELLA HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE- I- in conclusion? Wu Chang mains are hot as fuck but goddamn someone control that legendary hotbox or I'll hit them with the gardener's tool box INSTEAD-

Burke (mad eyes): I saw a decoder once and didn't know what it was so I tried it out. Didn't know it belonged to mad eyes. I was in a duo hunters map and I was having the time of my life watching everyone run before noticing that there the hunters (Burke and Mary) were together near a decoder and a survivor just casually watching them. So I looked around them and saw one person and I just thought to myself "wow, who's the oblivious dumbass who's next to them?"

And then I went out of it, looked around for a chair to dismantle and lo and behold.

I was the oblivious fuck next to them.

I got sent to jail via Burke's ability.

Robbie (axe boy): I feel so guilty about hitting Robbie mains with pallets so instead I just vault through as many windows as I can and pray for the best-

Bonbon (guard 26): fuck you and your bombs. I mean you're cute and all but goddamn that dance emote of yours-

Antonio (the violinist): this man could step on me and I would thank him. I radiate peak simp vibes around Antonio mains and I don't regret it. Y'all are so cool?? Like sir youre slapping people with music notes and they sound nice??? Like oh hey I'm at half health but at least I get to listen to nice music while running away from death-

In conclusion? Antonio mains are great I love them

Percy (the undead): fuck you I would rather be chaired than dying pathetically near one. At least let me have my dignity won't you? I mean you guys are cool but no💖

The Will brothers (the breaking wheel): what- what even are breaking wheel mains? Immortal? Inevitable ? I've only ever managed to outrun on and that was because I was near the church pews in the red church. You guys genuinely scare me and when I'm in a match with breaking wheel mains I just run upstairs and cry (in-game not in actual life though I have considered it once or twice-) I'm relieved by the fact that your faces are just masks tho. Y'all are dicks too✨💖

Phillipe (the wax artist): the amount of inappropriate jokes surrounding you guys- I swear no wonder y'all are so eager to chair people-

[revengeisalwaysanoption]

FIC: Diglielo veramente

Despite the title, which comes from Lucio Dalla’s “Canzone” this fic is in English. Written for Martino’s birthday and featuring what I believe to be the true present Niccolò made for him.

A sweater. A fucking sweater. A tight-fitting, flimsy, piece of… fabric, that doesn't even look that bad on him - it surely makes his shoulders seem wider - but… it's just not his style, you know?

Sure you do. And so should Niccolò, after a year and a half they have spent together. 

He bets that he would have known what to buy Luai.

'Come on, don't go there.' Martino tells himself, while he picks on the sweater and stares at Nico. Who'd like to keep the party a secret - hence walking back to the car to call Gio - but hasn't taken Luchino into consideration. 'Yes, that's it. Focus on the party, instead. That's very sweet of him, don't you think? It's neither a grand gesture nor an especially creative way to celebrate you… but… Cut him some slack, Martino. You know he's ridiculously busy with Uni. Still terrified you might walk out again, the next time he screws up. Can you really blame him for not having the time and not being in the right frame of mind to come up with something unique?'

He can't, but he kind of does? And that's why he ends up making such a request as if he can really demand complete transparency between them from now on. As if his trust in Nico can truly be rebuilt on giving him third-degrees every time he's out with someone who isn't Marti.

He truly appreciates Nico's commitment to it, though. He doesn't shy away from giving him answers that he knows Martino won't like. Or that will ruin his carefully planned surprise.

He's still feeling kind of let down, however? And he does wish he wasn't an open book to Niccolò, because his own disappointment is getting to Nico as well… and the last thing he wants on his birthday is for his boyfriend to be sad? As though he had failed him, over something so trivial?

He's spent hours trying to fully enjoy his wonderful beach date with Nico, but he hasn't been able to. And not just because of that damned fisherman.

"Marti?" Niccolò snaps him out of it, as they drive away. "Can you put some music on, please?"

"You know these weird appendices I've got at the bottom of my arms, Ni? They're called hands. You've got two as well, so use them." Martino huffs, teasing, as he waits to be told which one he is supposed to pick.

"First of all: should I remind you that you are the one who doesn't like it when I'm driving and fiddling with the car stereo?"

True. He'd rather have Niccolò looking at the road, instead of rummaging a box to find that particular mixtape he had made… Couldn't he buy a regular phone, and have it on Spotify, instead?

"Secondly, I believe I've shown you how well I can use my hands plenty of times, haven't I?" He squeezes Marti’s thigh at that, running his fingers way too close to his crotch.

"Maybe you need to jog my memory a bit?" Marti asks, grinning and dragging Niccolò’s hand right where he wants it the most.

"Mhh… A tempting offer, but no.” Much to Martino’s disappointment, Nico breaks free of his hold and puts his hand back on the wheel. “We can't be late, not after I begged everyone to show up as early as they possibly could. You're gonna have to wait…"

"Mh, all right." He is so not pouting, no sir. Not at all.

"Oh, come on,” Niccolò adds, in a gentler tone. “It'll be worth it. And you'll get the exclusive on the newest addition to our drawer… "

Huh? So the sweater isn't the only present he is going to get from him, today? He wonders what it could be… and how he is going to use it on Nico.

Okay, not the wisest idea to think about that, when he's trying to keep his libido at bay… and he can't remember why exactly?

'Because you're never gonna hear the end of it, both from the boys and the girls, if you two get home needing a shower and a change of clothes.'

Right. Okay, then. Let's hear what Nico is in the mood for, during their journey back home. Knowing him, it can anything ranging from old school rock to dubstep. He's quite curious to find out what it will be, this time.

It's placed… Inside a handmade music box, painted in blue and red? 

It opens to, a melancholic - nonetheless soothing - melody. Nothing that Martino has ever heard before, so it must be either something really obscure or a song that Niccolò wrote for him. While they were apart, judging from the vibes it gives off.

“Cool, right? Can you believe I found how to make a music box on WikiHow? Internet is not just for porn, after all.” Nico keeps on talking since Marti has been left speechless. How many sleepless nights did it take, for him to make this? “Now, I don’t know if you’re too young to remember how to use a cassette deck, but you’ve got to insert that tape… Staring at it won’t-”

“Shut up.” He finally manages to say, slapping Nico’s nape. They both smile at his feigned yelp: he didn’t even hit him that hard. 

"I know, the audio quality isn't the best but I haven't given Miché - who is indeed the guy from Foggia, before you ask - enough to find some proper recording equipment… They will sound better live, I promise."

There’s the tune from the music box but played on a piano, at first. Followed by a silly ukulele ballad… and yeah, it sure is the same one Nico attempted to play for him back in October 2018. 

In true Niccolò Fares’ fashion, the mixtape itself is filled with the cheesiest songs he could find. Songs that make Martino groan, but that he can’t help but sing along to. And then… Then the mood abruptly changes, with the last three songs. All the silliness is gone, and each of those lyrics goes straight to his heart.

‘Perché non è facile... Forse nemmeno utile… Certe cose chiare dentro, poi non escono. Restano, restano.’

‘Le incomprensioni sono così strane, sarebbe meglio evitarle sempre, per non rischiare di aver ragione… Che la ragione non sempre serve.’

’Stammi più vicino ora che ho paura, perché in questa fretta tutto si consuma… Mai, non ti vorrei veder cambiare mai.’

“Stop the car. Now.” He says, turning off the radio. He can’t wait another minute to make it crystal clear to Niccolò that there is nothing left to forgive. That he regretted walking out on him the minute he did it, and that it’s never gonna happen again. 

Perhaps he hasn’t been straightforward enough, under the bed. They always tend to get a little sidetracked, on their reunions, after all. He’s not that good with words, though. So… A bone-crushing hug will do, for now?

And maybe later he can do better, be a lot more convincing. It’s what they both deserve, don’t they? *************************** A/N: I will include the links for the lyrics’ translations on AO3. Not here otherwise the post doesn’t show up in the tags.

[azozzoni]

Apparently I lost the ask this prompt came from. Idk what Tumblr did. Luckily, I write everything down (and I’m sorry for taking like 8 months to write this).

Anon: Filo’s thoughts after the cafeteria scene, when he realizes he finds Elia really attractive and tries to find out if this boy is really that straight/ to get to know him better

*

It was Eleonora’s fault, Filippo decided, that he couldn’t stop wondering about Elia after he’d shown up that day at lunch. He may not have remembered him before, but he certainly did now.

“So,” he said, leaning in Eleonora’s doorway and she didn’t look up from her laptop. “How’s the plan going?”

“Plan?” she repeated, skeptical.

“To set up Elia with my Silvia?” He said it as casually as he could—Eleonora could be annoyingly perceptive and he didn’t want to raise any suspicions about why he cared about how things were going with a couple of high schoolers. He shouldn’t have cared. He should have been above it all.

Eleonora sighed, looking up from her laptop finally. “It’s not. We can’t seem to get them alone together.”

“Maybe it’s just not meant to be,” Filippo said with a shrug. “What do we know about this Elia anyway?”

Eleonora paused, seemingly thinking. Filippo was a little too eager to hear the reply if he was honest with himself.

“Marti seems to see something more in him,” she said at length, “but he’s mostly just immature and loud and impulsive.”

It didn’t sound too bad to Filippo, who was also all of those things.

“So why do you think he and Silvia would even be a good fit?”

“I just want her to get over Edoardo,” Eleonora admitted after a minute, glancing up at him. “Why do you care anyway?”

“I am just trying to make sure he’s good enough for my Silvia,” Filippo assured her, not bothering to mention that he hadn’t been lying when he said Elia was hot. He may or may not have checked out his ass the other day as he’d left too. “May I remind you, you’re the one who told me to talk up this guy I have barely met to my sweet Silvia.”

Rolling her eyes, Eleonora turned back to her laptop. “If you want to know about Elia, you should ask Martino. Maybe a different point of view would help get them together.”

Filippo merely hummed in reply, but he wasn’t thinking of getting Elia together with Silvia, not right now as he pulled up his phone and texted Martino as he turned from the bedroom.

*

“I’m pretty good at this,” Martino said as he held the battery for Filippo, and Filippo laughed.

“At being a film lackey?”

Martino nodded. “I should consider making this my career.”

“I wouldn’t mind having your pretty face following me around all day, carrying my gear, telling me how wonderful all my shots are,” Filippo said, taking the battery from Martino’s hand and replacing the one in his camera. He’d found this particular spot a few weeks ago, overgrown and covered with colorful graffiti, what looked like ruins on the far side, underneath a roadway. He glanced back at Martino, who had his hands on his hips, gazing around the brush-strewn path. “How are things with Nico?”

“Good.” Martino couldn’t stop his smile as he said it, and Filippo was happy for him, for both of them.

“And this plot to match up Elia and Silvia,” he said slowly, keeping an eye on Martino, but Martino didn’t react except to frown. “Any progress?”

“Elia keeps saying he doesn’t want anything serious, and even though Nico and Gio keep trying to say it doesn’t have to be serious, he doesn’t seem interested.”

“Maybe he’s not,” Filippo said carefully. “Have we considered he might be gay?”

Martino laughed, too long, as though the mere suggestion was ridiculous. “Are you kidding?” he asked finally, wiping tears out of his eyes. “Elia? Gay? He always talks about girls.”

“But not Silvia,” Filippo pointed out, a little annoyed that even the idea of Elia being into guys was laughable. Maybe he had it all wrong—after all, he’d done the ‘falling for a straight guy’ too many times before. “Bisexual people do exist.”

“I know,” Martino said, pausing. “I asked Nico about it once, how he could tell that he wasn’t only into guys or girls, how he… decided, I guess.”

Filippo watched him. “What did he say?”

Martino shrugged. “He said he didn’t choose, that he just knew that he liked me, not because I was a guy but because, well…” He blushed and didn’t go on. Filippo didn’t push him, setting his hand on Martino’s shoulder.

“I’m just saying, there’s got to be a reason Elia isn’t interested in Silvia. Has he hooked up with anyone else this year?”

“Not that I know of,” Martino admitted. “Actually, he hasn’t really even talked about anyone since Gio got together with Sophia. Maybe he’s not over Sophia. I didn’t think he was that into her.”

From the little Filippo had heard from Martino and others, it didn’t seem likely, but Filippo didn’t know well enough to comment.

“Maybe he just needs the right person to come along,” Filippo suggested, focusing his camera on a wall in the distance.

“Well, it’s not going to be Silvia,” Martino muttered, rolling his eyes. “But Luchino is half in love already, so maybe there’s still a shot.”

“I could talk to Elia, if you wanted,” Filippo offered, ignoring the way Martino’s head shot to him, eyebrows up. “Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone you don’t know as well. You did, after all.”

Martino seemed to consider the offer for a minute. In the end, he shrugged. “I guess it couldn’t hurt. Nico wants so badly to be a matchmaker.”

Smiling, Filippo shook his head. “Just tell me when and where. I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

He was glad when Martino didn’t ask why he was offering because he didn’t have an answer that would satisfy him. He didn’t even have an answer to satisfy himself, but he didn’t stop Martino from texting Elia and suggesting they meet up later.

*

Martino conveniently received a text from his mom, telling him to come home, about five minutes after they met up with Elia at the bar, excusing himself and tossing a glance Filippo’s way before he left. Martino was smoother than Filippo had thought, turning to smile at Elia, who seemed a little confused at the whole situation.

Elia was cuter than he remembered, shrugging off his jacket and shoving the sleeves of his sweatshirt up to his elbows as their coffees were delivered.

“You were out with Marti?” he asked, but Filippo had no desire to talk about Martino.

“Photoshoot,” he said dismissively, setting his elbows on the table as Elia sipped his cappuccino. “He said something interesting, though, about you and Silvia.”

Elia immediately rolled his eyes, sitting back in his chair. “Jesus. I don’t know what is wrong with them. I don’t know how many times I have to say I don’t want to date her before they’ll drop it.”

“Maybe if you gave them a reason,” Filippo suggested, and Elia frowned.

“I have. Plenty. She’s squeaky and annoying and obsessed with that damn radio, plus she’s not that hot.”

“I think she’s pretty,” Filippo said, but Elia made a face.

“Well, you’re gay. You can say that.”

“And you can’t?”

“Not without someone taking it to mean I’d be willing to fuck her,” Elia replied, shoving a hand through his hair as he sighed. Filippo got the feeling he was tired of trying to explain himself.

“Okay,” Filippo said easily, smiling at Elia. “You don’t want to date Silvia. Is there anyone you are interested in?”

For a second, Elia didn’t reply, frowning at his cup. When he didn’t reply right away, Filippo sat back.

“I dated a girl once,” Filippo said, and Elia looked up, eyebrows furrowed, as though he couldn’t fathom the idea. “In middle school, so maybe it wasn’t technically dating, but we called it that. It didn’t last long, a few weeks maybe of eating lunch together, sloppy kisses that I can never forget.” He made a face. “But after we broke up, my friends kept asking who I was going to go after next, which girl I liked. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know really, not until I saw Andreas Rossi changing in gym class. It was like a brick to the head.”

Elia was frowning still. “You think I’m gay?”

“No,” Filippo said easily. He wouldn’t dare to presume anyone’s sexuality. “But if you’re confused, sometimes it helps to talk about it.”

“I’m not confused,” Elia said quickly, glancing up at Filippo. “I like girls.” He paused, swallowing. “And maybe I’ve thought about guys.”

It was a start. He remembered how reluctant Martino had been to even admit that he liked a guy.

Filippo smiled at Elia. “It’s not a crime.”

“My parents might disagree,” Elia muttered, but he didn’t elaborate, meeting Filippo’s questioning gaze. “I’m not keeping it from the guys. It’s just, there’s no reason to tell them. It’s not like I’m hooking up with someone.”

“So if you never find a guy, you’re just not going to tell them?” This was so far from the conversation Filippo had hoped they might have when he’d sat down across from Elia. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected, that maybe Elia would reveal some secret crush on him.

Elia shrugged in response, pushing the cup around its plate.

“We could always go out,” Filippo suggested, and he realized what it sounded like when Elia’s eyes lifted to his again. “I mean, I could take you out, to a club or something where you could have no pressure. Nobody you know, no one you’ll have to talk to again, no strings.”

Some people would have hated that idea. He knew Martino would have balked at the idea had he suggested something similar last year, but Elia wasn’t Martino. Elia was watching him with a mixture of curiosity and consideration.

“And you’d come with me?” Elia asked after a minute, and Filippo smiled.

“Of course. I’d never let you go into the lion’s den unprotected. Unless you don’t want me to.”

Elia contemplated the question for a minute before he smiled, the first smile Filippo had gotten out of him so far.

“Yeah,” he said finally. “We could do that.”

Not exactly what Filippo had been planning for when he’d sat down, but he’d take it. It was much more important to help Elia than to listen to his own hormones. And if he caught Elia gazing at him later, looking away quickly, he didn’t mention it. There’d be plenty of time to figure that out later.

[thegreatescape]

SHARE THE LOVE CONVENTION

Here’s what happened at the Share The Love Con in Milan! :) [Sorry for my terrible English lol]

At the con I was in the front row with my friends. It was amazing but at the same time I felt a little bit observed lol Pietro was the first one who greeted me and then Nicholas recognized me ;; 

After the panel, my friend and I decided to take a picture with Federico because he was too beautiful with that blue sweater and when we went to take the picture he gave us a tight hug that I will remember forever. I don't know why but I was more nervous than the previous times... maybe because he was even more beautiful than usual lol 

Then we queued for the Fede + Rocco duo and I don’t know where I found the courage but I showed them a photo in which two people were kissing a girl on the cheek and this happened sdifhoisadpo 

Damn Fede has really soft lips, I cry just thinking about it. I left the room shaking like a leaf lol Then we went to the autographs of Nicholas, Greta and Beatrice. Greta and Bea were a wonderful surprise. They are both so kind and sweet. When Greta saw my drawing she gave me a hug and said ‘thank you’ a hundred of times. She was sooo cute! ;; 

Even Beatrice thanked me so much and complimented me and said “You drew me so hot!” And I was like "Well, you are" haha ​​

Then I went to Nicholas and this happened:

Nicholas: Hi! I'm a big fan of yours!

And I smiled at him sooo embarrassed.

Nicholas: I don't know how to thank you! I’m very tired after a drawing, you draw 10 drawings every day! You're very good.

Then Greta arrived at his table and said: Did you see my beautiful drawing with the pink background?

And he was like: Mine is gray! :(

Me: I made the backgrounds based on the shirt you had in the photos and you always have a black shirt.

Nicholas: I have to do a photoshoot then haha

Nicholas then asked me to show some of my drawings to Bea and when I showed her my Instagram profile she remembered those I had done for her and Greta added: Oh my God you made me the drawing of me and Nini kissing? It's beautiful! ; _;

This is Nicholas’ autograph. He drew me Luchino eating pizza’s crusts LOL

Then we went to the autographs of Pietro, Fede and Rocco and I have to say that this was one of the most beautiful moments of the Convention. When Pietro saw me he greeted me with an "Hello darling, how are you?" And before I answered he said: "Did you bring me something?" And when I gave him the drawing he said: “Oh my God, it's awesome! This is a new one!”

Me: “Well, yes, I couldn't post it before, it had to be a surprise!”

Pietro: “Can I keep it? ;)”

Me: “Sure it's for you! Also, sorry if I tag you on so many drawings.”

Pietro: “It makes me so happy! You drew the futuristic black and white one, the one where I’m in Venice, the one with the flag you gave me last time and ... this, right? (he remembered all of them ; ___;) And then he added: “But you drew Federico more :( AHAHAH”

Then I went to Fede and he said: “I know that yesterday was your birthday so… HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” And he sent me a kiss. I died. Then I gave him the drawing and he thanked me and he looked at me with a pleased smile saying: “What can I write here ..?” And he wrote me this beautiful autograph that I’ve to frame. 

Then, without saying anything, he got up and hugged me and it was a beautiful moment because I didn't want to let him go. Maybe that was the best hug- not only because it lasted longer but because I could tell him how grateful I was for everything.

Then I went to Rocco and he greeted me with a big smile saying: “Hello Giulia, how are you ?!” And I was actually dying inside so I immediately gave him the drawing and he said something like: “Wtf is this a drawing? Oh my God it’s amazing thank you so much” and he showed it to Fede.

Then in the afternoon there were other panels but for those I will make a special mentions at the end of the post.

Then there was Fede and Rocco meet & greet. It was pretty weird because we were all so shy and we didn’t know what to say so they told us something that happened on set during Marti and Nico reunion on the terrace in 2x09.

Fede: “Ludovico told us ‘Kiss!', so we did it. It was so romantic, but when we stopped, I noticed that I had Rocco's snot on my cheek. So I said: WHAT THE FUCK IS IT? THIS IS DISGUSTING! and the atmosphere was ruined.

Rocco: “It's true HAHAHA”

Fede: “I had your snot on me all the time! You were always crying!

Rocco: "Yes, there was an important exchange of body fluids. AHHA”

Then we went to eat the pizza with the cast. The first one who sat at our table was Federico. I was the first one to get the pizza and he said: “Well you're the birthday girl that’s why they gave you the pizza first”. I just smiled like an idiot and he said: “Eat it or it gets cold!"

Me: "No, I'm waiting for you …"

He: “But if it gets cold, it sucks”. (it sucked anyway haha)

Then me and my friends started arguing with him bc Federico claimed that the pizza has to be cut in 8 pieces (and we were cutting it in 4). Thankfully Pietro arrived and supported us and told Fede: “Stop being so annoying” ahah.

After that, there was the most embarrassing interaction that I've ever had with him. We looked at each other and he smiled, so I smiled back but I was too nervous to say anything. Basically we kept smiling for like 15 seconds and it all ended with an embarrassing silence :))))

Then Rocco sat right next to me and he was so… excited? Haha

Rocco: “Did you eat today?”

Me: “No, we were anxious…”

Rocco: “Why? C’mon we know each other now! We’re friends!” (I almost cried, I swear).

Then I showed him a bracelet that my friends bought me for my bday (a heart with the word ‘Sbedemmic’ written on it) and he enlightened and said: “Nooo! Oh my god! Sbedemmic !? A-ma-zing!”

Then we asked him how to pronounce “Maxence” and Rocco called him at out table and Maxence rushed to us leaning towards us and we were blown away because he has really beautiful eyes and honestly I didn't even listen to what he said ahaha

Then Nicholas joined us and said  "I want to sit right next to Giulia” (I wanted to hug him ;u;) and we talked about drawings and it was wonderful. Then at a certain point I don't remember what he wanted to ask Bea and he started to call her addressing a girl at the table next to ours and only after a while we pointed out that Bea was sitting on the other side of the room and he was like: “Who was I calling? The girl doesn't even have hair like Bea!” HAHAH

Before he left we hugged each other tight and we  thanked each other for everything.

Maxence is literally an elf. He is nice, funny and he gave me a lot of positivity. We asked him to take a photo all together and he immediately put the glass of wine down because “If my mom sees the picture she gets angry” xD He said he never had the chance to interact so much with the fans at the events and that he thinks it’s amazing to create a bond with us.

Then I apologized bc I tag him on a lot of drawings and he asked me “Wait, what did you draw?”

Before I answered him he started to jump on the chair saying “The raccoon one!?”

Me: “Yes, even the-”

He: “The one with the shirt! Come on, let me see it!”

So I showed him the drawing and he exclaimed: “YEEEEES! THIS ONE! YEEEEES! THE SHIRT!!!”

He thanked me and I closed instagram, but I had forgotten to change my background and I had a photograph of me with Federico.

Maxence saw it and said: “Is that your boyfriend?"

And I said: “I WISH!”

I swear I didn't want to say it out loud, but it was spontaneous. He widened his eyes and literally burst into laughing while I turned RED. I apologized saying it wasn’t my intention to say it out loud but he said that he got that bc he read the panic in my eyes as soon as I realized it, but he appreciated my spontaneity and he said that it will be our little secret xD (then we talked outside and we took a couple of photos, he even chose the poses AHAHAH but then we got caught and the staff told him to go inside xD).

1 December

The second day in the morning we went to the autographs of Robin and Lukas and they both thanked me so much for the drawings (I will never forget their expressions ;;). 

After giving Lukas the drawing he stood up and hugged me tight and he was the sweetest, with his beautiful and kind smile :’)

Then I took a photo with Nicholas 

and a duo with Maxence and Rocco where I asked for a group hug and Maxence said: A POLIPATA ?! (an Italian word that idk how to translate. Obviously Rocco taught him that haha it’s like “hugging like an octopus” lol)

The last photos were those with Federico. When I showed him the photo I wanted to do he made an expression that I will never forget a mix between a smile and ;) and he said: “Uh, today we are in the mood for kisses”. And of course I turned BRIGHT RED :DDD

The last activity of the day was the autograph with Maxence. He thanked me for the drawing and said "You made me a beautiful drawing, so I will also make your own beautiful drawing" and he made a stylized character of me ahaha

At the cocktail party Maxence was the first one to sit with us! He didn’t know what to say so he asked us to do a toast and we all said in chorus 'cin-cin' and he said: "Do you know that ‘cin-cin’ means vagina in Chinese?” Ahah This was the highlight of our conversation.

Then Nicholas and Rocco came at our table and we talked all the time about medicines and reflux lmao We looked like the geriatric department bc they said that all the cocktails tasted like medicines lol 

Then Pietro and Fede arrived, both sooo tired, but Fede greeted us with "Hello rays of sunshine!" And we were literally dying . Pietro said he was worried about not being able to return home because he would have arrived after midnight and he didn't have the keys. "I can't call someone and say "Hi, I'm the guy who lives upstairs" ahaha

Then we talked to Lukas and Robin and they were so cute ;; Lukas is a very interesting person, he has a pure soul and it was a pleasure to know him ;; 

In the end, Bea and Greta arrived and we gossiped a lot, especially about boys haha

Best moments of PANELs:

-Nicholas said his favorite word is Australopithecus Robustus and Greta said "Fregno" (it’s a slang for ‘hot’) xD

-Fede said his Spirit animal is a Golden Retriever and that Martino’s is a fox

-Fede made fun of Rocco because he spoke with metaphors that didn’t make any sense so Fede was like: Enough Rocco, enough! Stop it! THAT'S ENOUGH!

-We made a video for Bea and everyone cried in the room

-THE KARAOKE

-Fede said that Rocco didn’t know how to ride a bicycle and they had to shoot that scene a lot of times

-Fede complimented Rocco and then he gave the microphone to him saying: “Come on, I’m waiting.” Because he wanted to get compliments too haha

-Rocco sat in the audience and asked Fede the story of Bambi and Fede called him “Er Lucertola (lizard)” in revenge and said that the name of Bambi was born because of a toxic (Rocco haha)

-Pietro who answered BOH to all the questions haha

-When a girl mentioned the 4th season (even if we couldn’t) and everyone said to keep hoping and thanked us for fighting so much during these months and then Rocco said: Yes, thank you very much for the support. Without you it wouldn't have been pos— Everyone: ROCCO !!!!! haha

-When another girl talked about Massimo Reale -Dr. Spera- (referring to the photos he posted from the 4th season’s set) and then Bea said: She just wanted to know the name of Dr. Spera and yes, it’s Massimo Reale xD

-Rocco screaming SBEDEM

Here’s some pics I took at the panels :) 

Everything was AWESOME! I miss them all so much ;;

Please if you want to use one of these pics tag my instagram account:  here

[inthedreamatorium1]

I just watched the first episode of s4 and it feels so so good to see all these kids again. Right off the bat I can sense Sana feeling disconnected from everyone even though she clearly loves and adores them. They’re doing a great job of setting up the supporting stories without sacrificing Sana’a POV. Malik and Sana have lovely chemistry. The cinematography is gorgeous (naturally). Giovanni is still a DREAMBOAT and I’m pretty sure everyone got 10x prettier.

(I’m also crying over the random Roman ruins in various places. My little history lovin’ heart would explode. I need to get to Italy)

(Also, I love that Italians do a double cheek kiss hello 😭)

Silvia and Luchino aren’t dating?! Oh man, he’s gonna have his heart broken, isn’t he? I like this change a lot. Vilde and Magnus were always super awkward for me. Speaking of hearts breaking, Elia being in love with Sana threw me a bit but her justification/excuse for not being able to date him (he’s not Muslim) is going to be a great parallel to her situation with Malik.

One of my favorite scenes was watching Sana try on different scarves before seeing Malik😍

The ROSE SQUAD. All of those boys are precious. I’m digging the big brother vibes with Rami (although I don’t think my big bro would have invited me to parties when I was in high school...)

It took me until the end of the episode to really notice Ele’s absence. I hope she’s not gone the entire time...

The little moment when they’re all arriving at the party and Sana stops to pick up her phone and Malik squeezes by her was🔥

The ending scene with her praying is one of my favorite moments in all the versions. It’s such a beautiful and intimate moment that you, like Sana, forget there’s a loud and drunken party happening in the room next to her. She (and we) being rudely interrupted was a bummer but then she immediately sees Malik with Eva? Oh man. My heart broke for her. 😥

This was a great first episode and I’m totes stoked for the season.

[ferrariprince16]

FINALLY CLIP. I cried and laughed within ten minutes, the power of Skam.

Let's start with order: Elia who arrives takes the drink in front of Silvia and leaves, mood of this Santibella's crap. Then Luchino comes and do you understand why they are made to be together? Oh boy I'm looking forward to how they will proceed and how Silvia will fall in love with him.

Nico e Marti who are tring to be magicians of love, but it shows that they didn't take lessons from Giovanni Garau with a U because Sardinian. Even if they won the love lottery.

And then there's the toughest, most beautiful part, I don't even know how to describe it. Eleonora pissed off, because Edoardo tells her bs and he apologizes in 0.2 seconds and asks her to respect the fact that he doesn't want to talk. And I fully agree with him, he doesn't want to ruin something so beautiful because of his shitty brother.

Edoardo who wants to know Eleonora. Even the few crumbs that she gave him for a whole year are good for him, because they brought them right there and now he wants to get to know her, he wants to continue to fall in love with her in all its aspects, even her skeletons.

Eleonora's story broke me. How do you take a taxi and go to the hospital for an appendix just fourteen years old without anyone next to you. I cried with her. It was clear that her family history wasn't the best, but I didn't think so far. Eleonora is so strong. Now it's clear more than ever. But also so fragile and once again we understand why she has difficulty letting herself completely go with Edo.

And Edoardo finally understands how much Eleonora is afraid of being hurt and being abandoned and he reassures her. I swear to you that when he dried her tears, he really broke me. He's so kind to her. He loves her very much. And then he tells her something that Eleonora might have been expecting to hear for a long time. He promises he will never hurt her. And for now they are just words and I really hope that he will remember them in the future, but I know he will try to do his best.

Eleonora who nods after Edoardo's okay is so important. She is finally letting herself go and be taken care of by someone other than herself. Finally she is completely trusting Edoardo, because she already knows the great feeling he has for her.

The kisses on the forehead made me cry. They are so beautiful and pure. Edoardo who is trying to reassure her in the best possible way and he don't push her, he stands beside her and comforts her. Those two kisses are a more intimate gesture than many other kisses that will be there.

[esperanzacboronial]

Aging and Luchino for the askmeme?

I’m putting this under the cut because it’s a long one. I got carried away a little bit because I,, love them.

Aging: 

A: Where did Luchino find this woman? I’ve thought a lot about it, and I feel like given Narita’s track record, since she’s not a career assassin and she’s good at fighting, she was probably either a) in the army or b) in the circus. In the Naritaverse those seem to be the main options. I’m leaning towards former army because 1) I could absolutely see her being discharged due to insubordination I mean oh my g-d, 2) seems very very very comfortable with guns, 3) would be a nice parallel to Huey picking up his followers from army defects. 

B: When Death was alive the two of them were big on contests of strength. Got a few spare minutes before a mission? Push up contest. How many pullups can you do while hanging from the side of this building? I can do 30. When Death is referred to as the strongest among them Illness fumes, but Aging chortles, “I beat him at standing arm wrestling just five minutes ago, c’mon.” Empathy isn’t her thing, so she doesn’t feel anything when she finds out he’s dead, but she’s pretty bummed out because neither Life nor Illness will have these absurd competitions with her in his place.

C: Not even headcanon, but the Mask Makers are, uh… they seem to be really sexist, on the whole. Two of their strongest fighters are women, and these two get constantly put down and underestimated — and the effect that has on Illness, who doesn’t want to be good at killing people, is a lot different than the effect it has on Aging, who legitiamtely enjoys it, who sees it as her skill, her trade. She has to deal 24/7 with people ignoring and dismissing work that she’s actually proud of, but she takes it all in stride and good humour because she knows that reacting to it would only make them think less of her.

D: I can’t… really think of any headcanons that are definitely never going to happen in canon? she’s only really just gotten her start in canon. anything could happen.

Luchino:

A: Luchino being tiny as he is is a laugh when it comes to, you know, Aging deadlifting him, but when you put it into context with the fact that he’s consistently doing something causes him to be physically sick, and has been doing that thing since childhood, and does so regularly enough that he’s able to just calmly count how many times he’s thrown up in each instance — when you put that together with him being that small (smaller than Sylvie at, what, 17ish?), it seems to suggest malnourishment. I know men can reach full maturity a lot later, but given that his lifestyle is so unhealthy, mentally and emotionally and, as a result of that mental and emotional strain, physically, it seems pretty likely that he’s stunted his growth. 

B: Luchino performs alone in spite of having a literal organisation full of potential magician’s assistant candidates, and that’s because he’s been there, done that and they’re all terrible at it in their own unique ways. Aging is too tall for most of the tricks (can’t fit in the box to be sawn in half, can’t fit in the box to be disappeared, can’t fit in so many boxes oh my g-d why don’t they make these in bigger sizes) and kept catching the knives during knife throwing. Illness also does that one (”you’re throwing them at me!!! what was I supposed to do??”), and the one time they tried the sawing in half trick she, uh, definitely went to a pretty bad place mentally and ended up being sick (that part isn’t funny at all, though, so moving on). Death was way too intimidating and freaked the audience out, and Life was just (sigh) in between every trick and it made for a really disheartening performance. In the end he just decides that the only way to have a decent show is to do it by himself. 

C: There are a lot of criminal heirs and heiresses in the naritaverse, and they mostly fall into either a) sheltered, good-hearted, ethical, one day finds out about the truth of their family’s business and turns against it, or b) pretty aware of what their family does and throw themselves into it with vigour because they’re made of the same stuff, but the thing about Luchino is he doesn’t have the luxury of fitting into either category. Here’s a boy with a worse tolerance for death and violence than Eve Genoard who throws himself into it anyway thanks to duty (avenge Monica), expectations (points @ my post about his hyper empathy), and, honestly, a lack of options (what else is a young teenager going to do without parents, close family, or friends? he keeps his allies. he does what he has to do to keep his allies); he hates what he does, thinks it’s disgusting and impure, is painfully aware of how much it ruins him, but he never had a shot at purity. I mean, to get into the headcanon bit, to be functionally prepared to take over the Mask Makers as a young teenager (not emotionally or mentally, g-d no, but functionally), Luchino probably killed someone or something for the first time before the age of ten, or at the very least he was helping with his father’s business before the age of ten, learning the trade, learning what it takes to kill, to injure, to get information, to get what they need out of people. He seems to be intimately acquainted with some advanced levels of torture by 17 — he’s probably had blood on his hands his whole life, since he was a literal child, this kid who can’t even stomach the sight of it. He understates how much it affects him and acts professionally about it, and along with that being out of pride, I think that’s really the only way he knows how to approach thinking about it, because Luchino B. Campanella never even had a shred of childhood, even though he would be a lot more content if he was one of those good old sheltered-from-the-bad-stuff family heirs. 

D: Again, I can’t actually think of anything that contradicts canon, because he’s been in canon so little, but in terms of one that wasn’t expanded upon much: I really do feel like Luchino trusted Life beyond just ‘(shrug) another mask maker’. He was stated to consider the four agonies his closest subordinates — he let all of them lead in his place when necessary, and he left Life to handle most things on the other ship while he didn’t even. tell Illness the plan. The very serious, sigh-I’m-so-professional-sigh attitude would have appealed to him a lot in a mentor figure, unfortunately, and especially when he was younger I could see him relying on his guidance heavily, unfortunately. I hope the betrayal in 2003 when he finds out the full situation is hearty. 

[tailspinfr]

It's time that we began to laugh and cry and cry and laugh about it all again

Bob Dylan m'aide chaque année, mais en 2017 j'ai écouté Tangled Up In Blue encore plus souvent que d'habitude, à cause de la version alternative qui m'a hantée. J'ai déplié le sens de ma phrase préféré The only thing I knew how to do was to keep on keeping on, like a bird that flew. Il n'y a pas eu un jour où je n'ai pas ressenti cela au plus profond de moi. Chaque jour a été la suite obligatoire du précédent. Alors c'est Dylan qui me menait jusqu'au prochain jour. Et je commençais à voir ma vie comme les couplets de la chanson.

Thought you'd never say hello, she said, you look like the silent type

J'ai commencé l'année par le silence assourdissant de janvier et chaque journée a amené sa question, suivie d'une autre.

Keep on keepin' on

Comme tous les ans je me suis dit que je n'écrirai pas mon bilan. Puis finalement je crois que j'en ai besoin cette année plus que jamais. On m'a dit de chérir le fait d'écrire, de réussir à remplacer les peurs par des mots ou du moins à les accompagner.

Toute l'année j'ai attendu ma métamorphose. J'ai vraiment cru qu'elle arriverait, je restais tapie dans l'ombre, pensant y vivre le moment où mon ancienne peau tomberait au sol. Dessous je pensais être un dragon féroce, sans peur et sans angoisses. Au lieu de ça j'ai muté en cette enveloppe encore plus fragile, encore plus friable. Alors il a fallu à la place que je l'accepte. Adieu aux métamorphoses.

J'ai essayé les tisanes new age pour m'aimer, j'ai essayé de parler. Et tout ce que je trouvais c'était plus d'inquiétude. Quand je regardais dans les yeux de ceux que j'aimais j'en voyais encore plus. Il a fallu relever ceux qui me relèvent habituellement mais je ne les ai aimés qu'encore plus. Il y a eu de l'attente, dans les salles blanches, les halls. Il y a eu des larmes. Il y a eu des mots qui transpercent à des moments inattendus. Il y a eu parfois tes yeux sans larmes. On avait les mains moites quand on se serrait tristement.

Il y a eu de la trahison, des gens qui ne paient pas, on m'a marché sur les pieds et j'ai eu de la colère à revendre. J'ai enfoncé mes ongles tellement fort dans ma peau que je m'en suis laissé des marques, des petites cicatrices de rancœur. Le monde extérieur, le monde intérieur ressemblaient à une énorme brume insupportable. La colère et l'angoisse sont souvent devenues un seul et même sentiment. Est-ce que j'avais encore envie d'écrire des mots sur la page pour des clopinettes ? Est-ce qu'il y a autre chose à faire ? Est-ce qu'il y a une autre personne à être ? Est-ce qu'il faudrait tout plaquer ?

J'ai vu pas mal de comédies musicales, j'ai même écrit beaucoup sur le sujet et à chaque fois que j'avais un coup de mou ça me relevait une nouvelle fois. Mon intérêt pour Judy Garland a gagné en intensité cette année en découvrant le merveilleux A Star Is Born de George Cukor et j'ai passé des mois à lire ses interview et biographies avec passion. J'ai lancé un blog et j'ai découvert que j'avais plein de choses à dire sur le sujet et c'était bien de les partager et puis finalement c'est peut-être ce qui m'est arrivé de mieux cette année.

Meilleurs films vus en 2017 :

Madame De (Max Ophuls, 1953)

A Star is Born (George Cukor, 1954)

Le Guépard (Luchino Visconti, 1963)

Jackie (Pablo Larrain, 2017)

Lost city of Z (James Gray, 2017)

Moonlight (Barry Jenkins, 2017)

Running on Empty (Sidney Lumet, 1988),

Voyage à deux (Stanley Donen, 1967),

La règle du jeu (Jean Renoir, 1939),

Holiday (George Cukor, 1938),

Le miroir (Andreï Tarkovski, 1975),

Les yeux sans visage (Georges Franju, 1960),

A Matter of Life and Death (Michael Powell et Emeric Pressburger, 1946)

Les films ont laissé des images dans ma rétine, Judy Garland chantant son désespoir dans une lumière veloutée (A Star Is Born), une valse menée par Vittorio de Sica (Madame De), un regard caméra qui a transpercé mon âme (Le Miroir), une ombre qui part dans la jungle (The Lost City of Z), un stairway to paradise (A Matter of Life and Death), des yeux paniqués derrière un masque (Les yeux sans visage). Et parfois ce sont des musiques qui me sont restées, la bande originale de Jackie, toute en chute et en tension triste, et aussi Fire and Rain de James Taylor, entendue dans Running on Empty de Sidney Lumet, que j'ai gardé dans les oreilles toute l'année, et qui m'a sans cesse rappelé l'image de cette famille qui chante à l'unisson. C'était un titre qui allait bien avec le soleil et la naissance de l'été. Et bien sûr j'ai sans cesse écouté The Man That Got Away.

On a vu Miracle Mile au cœur de l'été et on a marché main dans la main sur le pont des arts face au coucher du soleil, les yeux encore plein de l'explosion nucléaire sur grand écran.

Je n'ai pas beaucoup écouté de nouveaux disques, peut-être que je vieillis. Gershwin m'a accompagnée, surtout An American in Paris que j'écoutais en regardant le ballet du film. Gene Kelly m'a remplie de bonheur. En octobre, j'ai enfin vu Nick Cave sur scène et ça ressemblait à une incroyable messe. C'était l'un des concerts les plus fous que j'ai pu voir et quand il a chanté Jubilee Street les larmes salées étaient cathartiques. On l'écoutait tous comme s'il avait toutes les solutions.

J'ai écouté Nino Rota et la bande originale de La Dolce Vita dans le car qui me ramenait à l'aéroport de Rome la tête pleine de ces ruines sublimes, de ces douces nuits italiennes et de la beauté presque surréaliste de la ville. Encore une fois frappée en plein cœur par la magie de l'Italie. J'étais pleine d'amour pour ceux qui m'avaient invitée à y aller, et je les remerciais de me donner la chance de pouvoir quitter Paris au cœur de cette année fauchée. On a ri et bu des spritz, on s'est baladées à Cinecittà sur les traces de Marcello et Federico et la vie était en effet sacrément douce. Plus tard dans l'année, on a bu un café devant les étendues blanches de la montagne et la beauté piquait les yeux.

Meilleurs moments musicaux de 2017

Écouter Fire and Rain de James Taylor

Redécouvrir le ballet d'Un Américain à Paris au cinéma

Voir Nick Cave au Zénith

Rufus Wainwright au Bouffes du Nord

Réentendre Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole de Martha Wainwright en lisant des témoignages de femmes partout sur Internet

La fille de neige à l'Opéra Bastille

Écouter Nino Rota à Rome

C'était dur et ça faisait mal de lire les #metoo et on s'est toutes souvenues de ces moments dans le métro où on est suivies par des "je vais te baiser salope". En 2017, c'était quand même beau de voir les femmes se rallier et souvent j'ai lu et écouté des meufs (dans La Poudre et Un Podcast à soi) et j'étais fière.

En juillet je me suis soudainement souvenue de Rufus Wainwright, que j'avais un peu délaissé, et j'ai réécouté sa musique en boucle. Et puis en décembre j'ai posé ma tête dans mes mains pour le regarder avec admiration sur la scène des Bouffes du Nord et j'avais de nouveau 15 ans. C'était un concert d'une incroyable générosité, où il a chanté ses compositions, quelques standards, des reprises, où il a raconté des anecdotes et où l'on a ri et pleuré le plus sincèrement du monde, à l'unisson. Grâce à lui j'ai fini l'année en réécoutant Leonard Cohen et So Long, Marianne. Quand Rufus Wainwright a chanté "I used to think I was some kind of Gypsy boy", j'ai senti des larmes de joie couler sur mes joues, et j'avais le cœur plein de cette gratitude, celle de savoir que la musique viendra toujours, toujours me sauver. Quelle chance qu'elle me remue aussi profondément.

J'ai lu aussi, et surtout des femmes. Joan Didion qui me parlait de deuil, Toni Morrison et son écriture incroyable, Zadie Smith sur fond de Fred Astaire, Despentes, Miano, Brit Bennett. Elles m'ont ouvert de nouveaux horizons. Je ne les raconterai pas en détail, parce que j'ai réussi à parler d'à peu près toutes mes lectures sur le blog cette année, mais voilà quand même mon petit best of.

Meilleurs livres lus en 2017

The Year of Magical Thinking de Joan Didion

Swing Time de Zadie Smith

La saison de l'ombre de Léonora Miano

Tar Baby de Toni Morrison

The Mothers de Brit Bennett

La Montagne Magique de Thomas Mann

On ne sait vraiment pas ce que 2018 nous prépare. Qu'écrirai-je dans mon bilan l'année prochaine ? Est-ce que j'aurai changé, muté, est-ce que je me serai transformée ? On finit l'année dans les larmes de joie, et c'est la meilleure façon de faire. Dans les bras de ceux qu'on aime. On verra demain ce qu'il faut faire pour continuer.

"Ring out the old year, ring in the new".

[luchinosgf]

Hey, I saw that you planned on leaving this blog, which is your choice if you do or not but It’d kinda suck. No I’m not pitying you to stay because you’re actually genuinely cool. But if you do leave, that’s completely fine, we still love you and, of course, luchino still loves you.

i tried to make this blog and subsequently the server a sort of positivity zone but it seems like ive achieved the exact opposite if im being honest. i was aware i was invisible irl, but i didn’t expect myself to be invisible online as well. that was the final nail in the coffin.

on another note, no comments or reassurances that your work is good ruins any sort of creative process. I don’t know if what i put out is decent or not. when i tell you i get no comments i mean my inbox is empty and only empty because all the requests are in my drafts and i delete the comments from toxic people who think filling my inbox with threats is funny.

i love idv as a game, i love its characters and i love writing for it, but if no one is actually reading, then who am i writing for?

[azozzoni]

A continuation (that no one asked for) of Elia’s Birthday fic.

This got super long, so it’s here and on AO3. Rated E for explicit!

*

Elia was eighteen. He’d been eighteen for weeks, but it felt like nothing had changed. He wasn’t sure what was supposed to have happened now that he was officially an ‘adult’ but surely something?

At least something with Filippo.

“When is Eleonora coming back?” Elia asked, head tilted back for Filippo’s mouth leaving deep purple bruises up the line of his throat, bruises Elia would have to explain somehow to the boys. Luca was convinced Elia had a secret girlfriend he was keeping from them all, and it wasn’t that far from the truth.

Filippo made a soft noise, fingers sunk into Elia’s hair, thighs bracketing Elia’s on the couch. Shivering at the heat in his cock, Elia’s eyes closed at Filippo’s lips pausing at the corner of his mouth.

“Sometime tomorrow. I think they went to some cabin or something,” he said, as if he didn’t really care where his sister had gone. Elia didn’t care where Eleonora was except that she wasn’t there.

Elia didn’t reply, dragging Filippo’s mouth to his for a heated kiss he felt all the way in his toes, digging his fingers in the back of Filippo’s neck as his hips rolled up.

This was usually the part where Filippo slowed them down, where they didn’t quite make it to the bedroom, settling for a handjob instead, or where Eleonora burst in and Elia had to hide until she disappeared to her room and Filippo snuck him out.

Eleonora wasn’t home to burst in, though, not this time. She was off with her friends in a cabin somewhere, and for the first time in weeks, he and Filippo were truly alone.

It wasn’t as if Elia could invite Filippo out with the boys, not without being suspicious, and Eleonora was always around—she did live there, as Filippo had to remind Elia every time they were interrupted. They couldn’t exactly go to Elia’s house with one parent or another hanging around. Finding time alone was much harder than Elia had anticipated the first time he’d kissed Filippo up on the rooftop of some party all those months ago.

His whole body felt hot with Filippo on top of him, and he opened his eyes when Filippo pulled back to mouth along his jaw.

“Filo.” Elia sighed, a shaky exhale at Filippo’s hands landing on his hips, jeans tight against his erection. Fuck, he wanted so much more than a quick blow job on the couch right now, even if Filippo did give the best blow jobs he’d ever experienced. It was always an agonizing build-up, dizzying kisses and panted breaths between them, but Elia wanted more.

Filippo shifted, chest hard and warm against Elia’s, hips pressing down, and Elia bit his lip at the hard length of Filippo’s cock against his.

“Are we ever gonna fuck?” Elia muttered, half a breathy groan against the corner of Filippo’s jaw, and he didn’t mean to say it like that, the words spilled from his lips without thinking.

He didn’t mean to when Filippo paused, pulling back to look at Elia. Cheeks heating up, Elia tried to play it off with a shrug, sliding his hand around Filippo’s neck instead. He shouldn’t have said it like that, like it was all he was thinking about, but maybe it was.

It wasn’t the only thing Elia thought about—there was also school and his friends and his mom’s insistence that his room was a pig sty—but when it came to Filippo, it was top of the list.

It had been months, months of sneaking around and waiting, and Elia was eighteen now. He didn’t know what else they were waiting for.

Elia didn’t meet Filippo’s eyes, smoothing his hands down his shirt instead, pausing at the waistband of his jeans. He could feel Filippo watching him, probably realizing that Elia was just an idiot teenager who only thought about sex.

“Let me suck you off,” Elia said when Filippo remained silent, tugging at Filippo’s shirt, hoping he could make Filippo forget about his stupid question, that he was that desperate.

“Elia.” Filippo stopped him, fingers wrapping around his wrists and holding them steady. Swallowing, Elia sighed. This wasn’t how he’d planned for the evening to go, for him to ruin it with a stupid question. “We are going to fuck.”

Chin snapping up, Elia stared at Filippo, the tiny amused smile at his lips.

“Yeah?” he asked, skeptical, unsure if Filippo was just making fun of his stupid question.

Filippo nodded, pressing a kiss to Elia’s bottom lip, soft and gentle, and Elia blinked slowly. “I want you to be ready.”

“I’m ready,” Elia assured him, perhaps a bit too enthusiastic as Filippo laughed, tracing over his lip with his thumb.

Leaning into him, Filippo slid his arms around Elia’s neck as their hips met again in a slow roll upward, a rush of heat up Elia’s spine as his mouth dropped open.

“You’re not the only one who thinks about it,” Filippo murmured, nose squished against Elia’s, breath hot against Elia’s lips as they sat there, and Elia’s mouth tilted up to Filippo’s.

“Have you ever jerked off thinking about me?” Elia asked, a smirk curling his lips at the thought. He had never really considered that Filippo wanted this as much as he did.

“Sometimes,” Filippo admitted, fingers curling into Elia’s hair and yanking his head up, chin to Filippo’s mouth. Elia shivered at Filippo’s stubble rough against his cheek. This was really going to happen, he found himself thinking as Filippo’s mouth sought out his own for a slow, languid kiss, tongues slick and hot, and for a moment, Elia could have stayed like that, but no. He was ready for more.

“I’m ready,” Elia repeated, words muffled against Filippo’s lips, as though he needed Filippo to believe him.

“It’ll be nicer on a bed,” Filippo said a minute later when their lips were red and sore, all the blood in Elia’s body pooling in his cock.

“Fuck, yes,” Elia breathed, fisting Filippo’s shirt even as Filippo slid back, off Elia’s lap, off the couch, and he followed.

Filippo’s room looked different this time, different than before though Elia was sure nothing had changed. Nothing but the look Filippo gave him over his shoulder before he pulled off his shirt.

Elia could feel his heartbeat in his chest, climbing into his throat, nerves mixed with excitement as he yanked his shirt off, leaving it wrinkled on the floor. He’d seen Filippo naked before, but this time was different.

Filippo moved first, pulling Elia onto the bed with him, opening up for Elia to climb on top of him, the length of their bodies pressed together. Elia wasn’t sure he’d ever had this much skin to touch, this much of Filippo under his hands as he smoothed his palms up Filippo’s sides, dragging his lips up Filippo’s stomach, up the middle of his chest, kissing along the ridge of his collar bone, swallowing at Filippo’s hands on his shoulders, moving with him, cupping his jaw when Elia reached Filippo’s mouth.

The kiss felt different than the others, less rushed, as though time could magically slow down with Filippo. Elia was pretty sure it could. Both slow down and speed up depending on what they were doing.

Elia pulled away at Filippo groping for something on his bedside table, moving back to let Filippo pull a condom out of the drawer and flick it between his fingers, rolling his lip ring between his teeth. Despite himself, Elia felt a flutter of unease at the sight.

He’d been waiting for this. In theory, he wanted to do everything Filippo was willing to let him do, but there was something so concrete about doing it for the first time that hit him like a brick as he sat on top of Filippo.

“Don’t worry,” Filippo said at the way Elia paused, eyes on the condom. “The mechanics are similar to fucking a girl. I imagine.” He smiled slightly, pushing himself up, and Elia felt himself smile, almost a reflex.

He wanted to be cool, to be relaxed, suave, like he did this all the time, like he wasn’t worried he was going to be shit.

Falling into Filippo’s kiss, he focused on that, on Filippo’s lips, the easy glide of their mouths together—he could do this part. He was good at this part.

“I don’t know,” he muttered before he could stop himself, mouthing down Filippo’s jaw, trying to ignore the nervous flutter in his chest, almost not noticing the way Filippo paused.

“You don’t know?” Filippo asked after a second, nudging Elia away from his neck. “Elia, you’ve been with a girl, right?”

Shit. He’d been with girls—made out, fingered them, gotten blow jobs. He’d just never managed to go all the way somehow. With Filippo’s eyes on him, he sighed, wishing they didn’t have to talk about it. About his lack of experience, about the fact that he was eighteen and still hadn’t properly fucked anyone.

He didn’t answer Filippo, looking away, hands falling to Filippo’s shoulders. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

“It’s okay,” Filippo said finally, reaching for Elia’s chin, turning it back to face him.

“It’s embarrassing,” Elia muttered, gazing at Filippo’s chest, the tiny scar on his side. “All my friends have. Even Luchino is on his way to fucking Silvia.”

He saw Filippo shake his head from the corner of his eye, felt Filippo’s fingers brushing through his hair.

“You should have said something.”

Rolling his eyes, Elia sat back on his knees. “Why? So you could feel bad for me?”

“No,” Filippo said simply, leaning into Elia. “So I wouldn’t freak you out by going too fast.”

“You’re not going too fast,” Elia assured him, raising his gaze finally, expecting to see pity in Filippo’s gaze, but instead, he found Filippo smiling at him. “I want to do this.”

“I know you do,” Filippo said, his smile growing, eyes flicking to Elia’s cock, unflagging despite the conversation’s turn.

“Asshole,” Elia said, shoving Filippo’s chest, and Filippo grinned, the moment passing, the nerves dissipating as Filippo moved, used his legs to flip Elia onto his back.

“It’ll be easier this way,” he said with a nod of his chin, pressing Elia into the mattress, leaning in for a sweeping kiss that Elia arched into. He wasn’t going to think that this was his first time, that there was a big possibility he was going to suck at this.

The crinkle of the condom wrapper distracted Elia from Filippo’s kisses, breaking away to watch Filippo reach for his cock, warm fingers wrapping around Elia as he stroked him slowly. They hadn’t really talked about this, about who would do what, though Elia had thought about it. He’d thought about fucking Filo, pushing deep inside his body and how it would feel. He’d also thought about what it would be like with Filippo inside him, how much it might hurt, how good it would feel.

“You’re going to fuck me,” Filippo said, as easily as if he was talking about what he wanted for breakfast. Biting his lip, Elia let out a breath as Filippo rolled the condom onto his prick, fingers edging down the sides. “Because I want to feel you inside me, Eli.”

Elia nodded, a bit too eagerly, reaching for Filippo’s thighs as Filippo scooted over him, grabbing the lube off the table.

“Lube is your friend,” Filippo said seriously, taking Elia’s hand and squeezing some into his palm.

Elia wasn’t a complete idiot. He had the internet—he knew about things like lube and preparation. He’d just never done it with anyone else.

It was completely different with Filippo on top of him, as though his brain couldn’t form cohesive thoughts anymore as Filippo pulled his wrist down, lifting onto his knees.

“I feel like I’m in school,” Elia said, eyes on where Filippo guided his fingers.

“You won’t in a second,” Filippo said, closing his eyes as Elia pressed the first finger inside.

Filippo’s body was hot, muscles tight against his fingers, and Elia had no idea how his cock was supposed to fit in there, but he did what Filippo told him to do, let Filippo take the lead and show him how he liked it. It was almost mesmerizing, watching Filippo fuck himself on Elia’s fingers, feeling the shift in the air as Elia’s cock twitched, eager, excited, any trace of previous nerves gone.

Filippo wanted this, and Elia wanted this. He wanted his dick inside Filippo, to feel so close to the guy who he’d spent the past few months getting to know, laughing over stupid movies, talking about their families, their absent fathers, the fact that Filippo wanted to be a photographer and now had way too many photos of Elia on his phone.

Any of the girls he’d been with before, he’d only wanted to have sex to have sex, because he was a horny teenager. He’d never been with one he would have waited for.

Waiting for Filippo had been completely worth it, he decided when Filippo eased his fingers out and shifted over him.

“Get your cock ready,” Filippo breathed, pressing his lips to Elia’s cheek, and Elia fumbled for his dick, slicking it up with lube, ready to burst in his hand as Filippo’s mouth ghosted over his jaw, up to his lips. “Good?”

Elia nodded, mouth falling open, chasing Filippo for a kiss as Filippo sat back up and took hold of his cock, guiding him inside.

Elia’s eyes rolled back at the heat pressing around his dick, the squeeze of Filippo’s muscles that shot straight through him.

“Fuck,” he breathed, swallowing hard, forcing his eyes open. It was so much better than he’d imagined. Different but better.

Filippo looked like a god above him, his skin smooth and pale, dark hair curling on his chest, a flush rising on his neck as he moved, fucked himself on Elia. Until this moment, Elia wasn’t sure he’d really appreciated how beautiful Filippo was—he knew Filippo was hot. He’d known that the minute Martino had introduced them, but he hadn’t really considered everything altogether.

“Jesus,” Elia murmured, rolling his hips up, inside Filippo, Filippo’s groan reverberating through his chest. He was actually doing this, making Filippo feel good, making Filippo’s cock hard, bouncing against his stomach.

Elia wanted to do more, more than lie beneath Filippo, caught up in watching Filippo fuck himself, in the sheen of sweat along Filippo’s collar bone, in the way Filippo bit down on his lip ring as he moved.

“You’re going to figure it out,” Filippo breathed when Elia moved, rolling them over, Filippo on his back this time, still connected as he pressed his hips in against Filippo.

“What?” Elia asked, distracted by the heat in his cock, the way Filippo’s legs wrapped around his back, fingers buried in his hair.

“How you like it,” Filippo replied, untangling his hands from Elia’s hair and sliding to his ass, pulling him in tight.

“Oh, fuck,” Elia heard himself say, hips jerking, stomach clenching as Filippo held him there.

He wasn’t going to last—he wasn’t sure how he’d lasted this long with the heat of Filippo’s body around his cock, Filippo holding onto him as Elia thrust inside, breaths coming in pants between curses and moans.

Filippo’s lips were soft when Elia leaned into him, less a kiss and more of mouths ghosting together as Elia pushed in. He could feel the heat of Filippo’s skin against his, Filo’s cock between their bodies, hard and wet at the tip.

“I’m gonna come,” Elia muttered against Filippo’s throat, toes curling at the tension building in his stomach, surprised when Filippo gripped the back of his neck and nodded, wet lips against his cheek.

“Then come,” he said, breathed in Elia’s ear, pulling on the lobe with his teeth.

Swallowing, Elia didn’t try to hold back, didn’t care if it was too soon, if he was supposed to hold out longer, to make it better for Filippo. He couldn’t stop the wave from crashing over him, the thrill in his stomach as he came, pushing his prick deep inside Filippo.

Worth the wait, he thought as he panted for breath, barely holding himself up over Filippo, giving in when Filippo’s arms wrapped around his shoulders and tugged.

His skin was sticky with sweat as he collapsed on Filippo’s chest, listening to Filippo’s heartbeat as he tried to slow his breathing. Closing his eyes, he felt Filippo’s fingers carding through his damp hair, sighing as he lay there.

Elia never wanted to get up, content to lie there with Filippo’s fingers tracing circles on the back of his shoulders.

Shifting, Elia could still feel Filippo’s cock against his stomach, hard. He wasn’t going to be one of those assholes who left their partners hanging.

“Elia,” Filippo groaned as Elia moved, getting his hand between them and stroking down the length.

Elia wanted Filippo to feel as good as he did right now, relaxed and content, limbs heavy and warm. Moving up, he pressed his lips to Filippo’s neck, sucking a mark at the juncture between his shoulder. His hand moved quickly, jerking Filippo off, and he knew Filippo was thinking of him this time as Filippo sighed, eyes closed, relaxing into Elia.

Elia knew how Filippo liked it, the twist of his wrist, the way he slowed down at the end, adjusting his grip when Filippo cursed under his breath.

“Fuck,” Filippo said a second before he came, hot and wet on Elia’s hand, his stomach.

Things were even stickier now as Elia slid back against Filippo, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about the mess between them, not when Filippo wrapped his arms around him, nosing in against his cheek.

“Next time, we’ll try something else,” he murmured against Elia’s temple, and Elia smiled.

“I want to try everything,” he said, glancing up at Filippo. He meant it too when Filippo met his gaze, thumb grazing over his bottom lip, a smile on his face.

“I know you do,” Filippo only said, and Elia rolled his eyes, leaning in for a kiss instead.

Definitely worth the wait.