#I think i saw a post once where it was like

[heesimp]

saw your post and comment about heehoon getting off together bc they both want yn…that is so hot I want to read that. Please

I want to read that too 😋 I would love to write more of this type of content so please let me know if you’d read it!

warnings: heehoon jerk off together, mentions of wanting to fuck reader and suck on her tits and pussy, mentions of dry humping, blowjob mention, exchange of fantasies, subtle mxm context (they sit next to each other on the couch and watch each other jerk off), mentions of a sex toy, implied share use of a toy at the end.

send in your hard thoughts x

-

“Dude, are you hard?!”

Heeseung looks over to his friend who sits beside him on the couch in nothing but sweatpants and a flimsy t-shirt. The two of them have sat in silence for the past few minutes or so after their friends left their apartment with you in tow, giving them each a hug goodbye as Jay and Jake undoubtedly drove you back to your apartment.

Still, your perfume lingers in the air. It smells somewhere between vanilla and peaches.

The TV has something playing in the background but neither of them can say they’ve been paying much attention to it. Sunghoon’s been scrolling on Instagram for the past few minutes when Heeseung happened to look over at him to ask what he wanted to watch when he saw the slight tent in his roommate’s pants.

Sunghoon looks up, unashamed. He turns his phone towards the elder. “Can you blame me? Look at her?”

Heeseung squints and sees your profile. “Have you been hard this entire time?”

“Since she walked in. Don’t tell me you don’t feel that way either. I always see you looking at her ass when she walks in front of you.”

Heeseung blushes for a moment. “I can’t help it. Her ass is phenomenal and she always wears those short shorts when she comes over.” Sunghoon groans.

“Yeah, the ones where you can see her panties, right? I swear she’s doing it on purpose.”

“Have you two ever…”

Sunghoon nods his head. “Once.” He bites his lip at the memory. “It was late, really late. She was sobering up after getting drunk at our place a few months ago when you were visiting your cousin. I told her she could sleep over since I was too tired to drive and the guys already left.

“What happened next?”

“I insisted she take my bed while I take the couch but she put up a pretty good fight. She insisted I sleep there with her since it’s my apartment and we’re both adults. We ended up dry fucking, man. She woke me up the middle of the night and I think she was having a wet dream or something.”

“Fuck, really?”

Sunghoon nods. “Yeah. Her leg was over mine and she got so shy when she realized we were both awake but I was so hard since her pussy kept rubbing over me.”

“But you two didn’t fuck?”

He groans. “Wish we did but it felt too good to stop. I took off my sweats and tried to get us naked but Y/N kept rubbing herself on me like she was desperate. That shit was so hot. That was the only time I get to see her cum, too. She let me on top of her and I had to pretend that I was fucking her balls deep since our clothes were still on.”

Heeseung curses and pictures himself in this exact position, running a hand through his hair to tug at his roots. “Were her panties wet?”

“Soaked. I could feel her through my boxers.”

“Y/N is too hot for her own good.” Heeseung watches Sunghoon’s cock jump as he readjusts his position on the couch.

“Wish I could touch her, you know? Knowing she he’s really wet turns me on. Shit.”

Heeseung can’t help but think about it. He’s seen you in swimming suits before and it doesn’t take much for him to imagine what you’d look like without them on. His cock stirs in his pants when he thinks about you gushing for him. Something about Sunghoon’s words turn him on too.

“What else do you want to do to her?” Heeseung finds himself asking his friend.

He laugh. “What don’t I want to do to her? I want to suck on her tits, man. It kills me that she doesn’t wear a bra when she comes over because I can see everything, especially when it’s a little cold. Perky nipples and everything.”

“Fuck,” Heeseung moans. “What else?”

“I’d want to eat her cute little pussy too. Fucks me up every time she flashes us with her shorts…I want to know what she feels like on my tongue.”

Heeseung laughs incredulously. “Damn, Hoon. You’re making me hard.” Sunghoon returns the laughter and doesn’t shy away from looking at his friend’s lap. Heeseung is almost as hard as he is but that seems to make him harder. “Is it bad that I want to cum inside of her?”

“No, fuck no it’s not.” Sunghoon bucks his hips involuntarily against his sweats. “Had a dream the other night that Y/N let me fuck her and creamed all over me…Goddamn, it felt so real.”

“Sometimes I think about her when I watch stuff,” Heeseung admits. “It’s better when I can’t see the girl’s face. I pretend it’s Y/N and it always makes me cum the hardest.”

“Me too. I love those twitter videos more than anything. Sometimes I pretend she’s the one who sent it to me.” Sunghoon brings a hand to his hardened cock and palms himself without a care in the world, even if Heeseung’s eyes grow wide at the movement. “C’mon, man. You can’t say you aren’t turned on.”

“Jesus. You jump right into it, huh?”

Sunghoon scoffs. “Don’t sit there and pretend you haven’t gotten off to me bringing girls home. I hear you in your bedroom, you know.” Heeseung laughs as if to challenge him.

“And you can’t say that you haven’t gotten off when I bring girls back.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Sunghoon looks back at your Instagram profile and curses under his breath, gripping his cock above the fabric. Heeseung pulls his phone out to look at you too.

“Her tits are incredible,” Heeseung moans as he brings his hand to palm himself. “I wanna put my dick between them and fuck her like that.”

“Cum all over her tits,” Sunghoon adds. “I’d kill to see her on her knees for me like that. Her tits are my weakness.” Palming himself isn’t nearly enough. “Fuck it.”

Heeseung loses his breath when Sunghoon pulls his hard dick out of his pants. “Woah, now? Don’t you want to like, go to your room or something?”

Sunghoon rolls his eyes. “It’s not like you haven’t seen my cock before. You don’t usually get this shy when we share a girl.”

Fair point. Heeseung pulls his dick out too.

For a minute, the soft sound of the TV permeates throughout the room as the two of them look at your photos and slowly stroke themselves opposite each other on the couch. Heeseung hears Sunghoon grunt under his breath and hold back a deeper moans when his thumb swipes over his swollen slit that drools precum.

Heeseung’s cock is just as hard. His fingers grip himself with fervor and for just a moment, he pretends it’s your hand that’s stroking him. He imagines the look you’d give him if you were on your knees before him and throws his head back when he moans.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Sunghoon asks as he twists his wrist to stroke himself better. “Fuck, thinking about her always gets me so hard.”

“Want her mouth on me,” Heeseung says in a broken moan. “Her cute little mouth is always telling us off but fuuuuck. She should use it on me instead.”

Sunghoon squeezes himself at the base and flickers his gaze from his phone to his too to watch even more precum ooze out of himself. Thinking about you like this gets always makes him incredibly hard and wet. He can only imagine what would happen if he got the chance to fuck you.

The sounds of their arousal splashing against their cocks as their hand moves up and down is the loudest sound in the room and neither Heeseung nor Sunghoon can for certain say they aren’t turned on by it. In the past, they’ve had their fair share of threesomes with girls they’ve met at parties and past hookups who’ve expressed interest in fucking two guys at the same time, but never have they ever found themselves in a predicament like this.

You are the common denominator within their friend group. Somehow, senior year of university brought the give of you together after an assigned group project in one of your classes that forced you all to spend a good majority of your time together, slaving away for a good grade. The semester ended but the five of you still continued to see each other, project be damned.

Both of them are pretty sure Jay and Jake probably have a thing for you too. You’re hot, smart, and really funny. You’re everything any guy could ever want and it’s always a shame that you’ve preferred to keep to yourself instead of become as promiscuous as the four of them, even if they don’t judge you for it.

Sunghoon speeds up his hand and throws his phone down on the couch to cup his balls. “Ah, damn. I’m close.”

“Me too,” Heeseung breathes. He puts his phone down too and mimics Sunghoon by squeezing his own balls, pretending it was you getting him off. “You wanna cum together?”

“Goddamn,” Sunghoon says with a laugh as his arm flexes. “Why do I find that really hot?”

“Imagine if Y/N was here with us.” Heeseung licks his lips and zeroes in on Sunghoon’s cock, imagining as it disappears inside of your pussy. “Imagine if we both came in her.”

“Always wanted to try that double penetration shit. Shame we didn’t do that before.”

“Soon,” Heeseung promises. “Y/N looks like the kind of girl who’d be into that. If she let you dry hump her then I’ll bet she’s let us fuck her pussy at the same time.”

The logic doesn’t make any sense but neither of them care. They squeeze themselves until choked moans become louder than the TV in front of them.

Heeseung cums with white tall spurts ruining the hem of his shirt but the wet stain doesn’t bother him. At the same time, Sunghoon spills out much slower, his cum seeping out of himself like a water fountain as it dribbles onto his hand. Heeseung watches his friend continue rubbing himself while he spreads his cum down his cock and onto his balls.

Both of them regain their breathes and feel strangely turned on by the events that just transpired. Heeseung finds himself wondering what Sunghoon would look like when he’s got you underneath him. He tugs at his cock at the thought and surprised himself when he doesn’t soften up.

Sunghoon smiles wickedly at Heeseung when he sees his friend’s cock twitching, his own dick remaining hard. “Wanna go again?”

“You want to jerk off again?”

He nods and stands up from the couch. Sunghoon pulls his pants up just comfortably enough until they rest below his ballsack and walks to his room, leaving a dumbfounded Heeseung sitting on the couch in his soiled boxers until he Sunghoon comes back out with a toy that looks a lot like a woman’s torso, ass, and pussy.

“Fuck, you actually own one of those things?!”

Sunghoon nods. “I use it when I get off to porn. Don’t you have anything?”

“Just a fleshlight but I’ve always wondered what those feel like.”

“Kinda like the real thing by more rubbery and smooth, obviously.” Sunghoon holds it up for Heeseung. “Since you mentioned double penetration…”

Heeseung cuts him off. “Let’s practice.”

***

please reblog and leave a comment if you enjoyed :)

[oediex]

You know what, yeah, that bell hooks quotation wasn't appropriate, it doesn't say what the person who added it think it says.

But I don't think it's fair to say that that man who everyone is pissing on somehow claimed we had to "hold his hand" or "coddle" him or whatever. Or even that women had to do it.

He never once even mentioned the word 'woman' in that post. I'm not excluding that that what he was implying - it's very possible! - but what he said was "the left", and let's be clear, this is his understanding of what the left is. I saw people saying that a "self-proclaimed leftist" should understand that his answer was still drenched in patriarchal thinking. But he never once proclaimed he was a leftist. Perhaps he thinks he is, but all he said was that he got "out" of the "alt-right". For all we know, that means he voted for the Democratic Party and we, who are on the left, all know that's not the fucking left.

The question that was posed was how do we keep young men from turning right wing, and he offered an explanation. An explanation! Not an excuse! Again something that a lot of people just assumed.

And yes, it was a flawed explanation, and yes he has some things to learn, and yes it was uncritical and terribly phrased.

But can we recognise that not everyone has the necessary critical thinking skills to completely dig their way out of the overarching ideology that fucking rules our lives? Critical thinking skills aren't something that we are born with. It's something that is learned, something that you have to train. It's a never-ending project. And from what I know of the educational system in the US? That's not where you get it.

Speaking of bell hooks, at least she understands this. In that book (The Will to Change) she writes that "most men never think about patriarchy - what it means, how it is created and sustained." She writes how the patriarchy sees men's violence and the one emotion they're allowed to have, anger, as "natural". Understanding the patriarchy is something that has to be learned, and you either figure it out yourself by reading, but most of us probably had someone in our lives who talked to us about it, taught us about it, and then we might have started reading more about it.

What if you don't have someone like that? What if all you hear is that the things feminists tell you is bad is what was imprinted on you as "natural" to you?

Here's bell hooks:

Yet no one talks about the role patriarchal notions of manhood play in teaching boys that it is their nature to kill, then teaching them that they can do nothing to change this nature—nothing, that is, that will leave their masculinity intact.

Here's what she says of her own brother:

As patriarchal thinking and action claimed him in adolescence, he learned to mask his loving feelings. He entered that space of alienation and antisocial behavior deemed “natural” for adolescent boys.

She clearly pinpoints the moment of these patriarchal ideas taking hold to be in adolescent, and the question that was posed was, what can we do to stop that from happening? I've seen people say that nothing can be done until we change the material conditions that make it so that men systematically have power over women. And yeah, undoubtedly that is a fight we need to have. But is that truly the only way we can keep (some) boys from falling into the grasp of the (alt-)right? Is there no hope in at least reaching them in the meantime?

I've seen a post saying, "omg of course he goes for misandry" and while misandry isn't real in that men are not systematically oppressed, that doesn't mean that there aren't some out there who express hatred or disgust of men. That's not what the left stands for, obviously, but it is not absent. Here are some comments from the notes on some of these reaction posts (and presumably these are all people who consider themselves leftists):

"you should be hunted for sport"

"makes me want to commit homocide"

"kys right now"

"'leftists constantly said i should die' yeah fucking right"

"we need to double male loneliness and I'm not even kidding"

"I HATE MEN AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. THEY HATE US MORE AND THEY HAVE ALL THE POWER TO DO ACTUAL HARM TO US. Misandry is NOT FUCKING REAL but I wish it was"

"we should kill people who don't get it"

Is that hatred of men (non-systematically)? Not all of it, but some of it definitely or possibly qualifies. And it sure does look like some people (who probably think themselves leftists) think this man (or men in general) are the "scum of the earth" and that they want him/them dead. How else do you interpret some of these phrases?

Now imagine that this is something that you encounter online, and with the help of the stranglehold of the patriarchy, whispers of right wing ideology, confirmation bias, and negativity bias? I can imagine you might end up concluding they "hate you for your immutable traits" (remember patriarchy teaches boys that violence and anger is natural to them) and that they "blame you for everything that's wrong in the world".

Is that the right conclusion? No. But as much as being able to use reason is part of being human, so is not being immune to ideology and propaganda. We wouldn't fucking be where we are right now if that wasn't the case.

How do we teach boys that anger and violence aren't "immutable traits"? How do we educate them about the power of the patriarchy? Well, where does it have to come from if not from the fucking left?

Does it have to be you? No. Does it have to be women? Also no. It's probably good if it's men, and especially men who themselves walked with the right at some point (if someone has already been pulled into the right, rather than catching them before).

It can be a woman though, if there's someone who wants to do it. I don't mind doing it if someone wants to talk about it. Will I be nice? No, I won't hold back and I will tell them if what they're saying is wrong. Will I coddle them? Fuck no. Will I keep trying if someone clearly isn't listening? No. Will I be compassionate? Yeah, I think I will.

Because compassion is really important when you're trying to keep people from falling into the far-right, or even if you're trying to get them out of it (which again, isn't what we were talking about in the first place).

Here's Pete Simi, professor of Sociology, talking about Life After Hate, an American non-profit that tries to help people leave the far-right:

The organization was started by former hate group members who have been doing a lot of outreach in terms of providing testimonials and trainings to schools and law enforcement and other community groups across the country. The focus of their message is the importance of using compassion to inform prevention and intervention efforts and aftercare for individuals who want to change their lives but may need various types of support. I think LAH is a very promising development and I hope it will continue to find the resources that it needs to expand the services it provides.

Being compassionate doesn't mean coddling. It doesn't mean holding their hands and it doesn't even mean being nice to them. It doesn't exclude holding people accountable for their views. It does require patience, though. And I understand that if someone is holding the belief that you are not allowed to exist, that isn't something you can do. And that's fine. It doesn't have to be you.

But somebody has to do it, and it has to be someone on the left.

Now none of that means that the suffering of men under patriarchy, and the fact that this has to be addressed loud and clear, are more important than the suffering that women, and especially women whose oppression intersects with other levels of oppression. I've seen some tags on reaction posts that stated "omg of course centring men in discussions of gender" - but the post was about men. That was the whole starting point!

Because men do suffer under the patriarchy. And it's pushing them to the right, towards misogyny and racism, unless they develop the necessary critical thinking skills to understand their own suffering. And you know who thinks so too? bell hooks.

Often men, to speak the pain, first turn to the women in their lives and are refused a hearing. In many ways women have bought into the patriarchal masculine mystique. Asked to witness a male expressing feelings, to listen to those feelings and respond, they may simply turn away.

Since men have yet to organize a feminist men’s movement that would proclaim the rights of men to emotional awareness and expression, we will not know how many men have indeed tried to express feelings, only to have the women in their lives tune out or be turned off.

It is a form of abuse that this culture continues to deny. Boys socialized to become patriarchs are being abused. As victims of child abuse via socialization in the direction of the patriarchal ideal, boys learn that they are unlovable.

The patriarchal model that tells men that they must be in control at all times is at odds with cultivating the capacity to be responsible, which requires knowing when to control and when to surrender and let go. Responsible men are capable of self-criticism. If more men were doing the work of self-critique, then they would not be wounded, hurt, or chagrined when critiqued by others, especially women with whom they are intimate. Engaging in self-critique empowers responsible males to admit mistakes. When they have wronged others, they are willing to acknowledge wrongdoing and make amends. When others have wronged them, they are able to forgive. The ability to be forgiving is part of letting go of perfectionism and accepting vulnerability. At the same time, constructive criticism works only when it is linked to a process of affirmation. Giving affirmation is an act of emotional care. Wounded men are not often able to say anything positive. They are the grump-and-groan guys; cloaked in cynicism, they stand at an emotional distance from themselves and others. Affirmation brings us closer together. It is the highest realization of compassion and empathy with others. One of the negative aspects of antimale feminist critiques of masculinity was the absence of any affirmation of that which is positive and potentially positive in male being. When individuals, including myself, wrote about the necessity of affirming men and identifying them as comrades in struggle, we were often labeled male-identified. The women who attacked us did not understand that it was possible to critique patriarchy without hating men. Indeed, recognizing all the ways that males have been victimized by patriarchy (even though they received rewards) was a way of including men in feminist movement, welcoming their presence and honoring their contribution.

“in order to create loving males we need to love males” means teach boys that they can be themselves without being less of a man. it means being encouraging and nurturing of their emotions so they don’t become cold and hateful. it means showing boys, early in their lives, that they have value outside of what our society deems proper masculinity. what it doesn’t mean is that it’s our job to handhold men who see women as walking sex toys through the concept of empathy, and maybe if we’re really really nice to them and don’t say things that hurt their feelings they’ll stop killing us for saying no

[nyc-pizza-rat]

saw @bloodydeanwinchester's tags on this post so

*TW: SUICIDE IDEATION TYPICALLY DISCUSSED IN RELATION TO THIS EPISODE PLS TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES*

dean's always hated being stabbed. god, he'd have taken a bullet to his head over this any day. what's one last thing that doesn't go his way, he thinks.

it's uncomfortable, is the thing. the hurt, he'll take it. it's nothing he doesn't deserve, nothing he hasn't had before. but the feeling of metal slicing your innards, it's a bitch of a thing. you can never get used to it.

Atleast, he thinks, Sam's here. Atleast, he's able to say goodbye. Atleast he's not alone.

His nerves are all alight, pain painting him bright from the inside, but dean can feel the finality of this burst. it's all too fast and too slow, all at once. dean thinks about being four and the sharp sunlight waking him in his room, his sheets with hot wheels on them. he thinks about baby's headlights shining through thin motel curtains. thinks about....about angels and gods and all that blue light behind his own eyes. he thinks if this is how.. how cas felt, when dean had been stupid and cowardly , when he'd let Lucifer get to him, that night in Washington. he wonders if his soul feels like this too, all sharp angels and live current. he wonders what cas ever saw in him, why he ever tried to save him, even in hell. wishes he could see him, one last time. that wouldn't have been all that terrible.

Still, he thinks. Sam's here. Sam's here. Sam's okay.

he jolts into himself, and realizes that he's been talking, that he's been saying something to sam. he doesn't even know. dean is unraveling. he can feel his body emptying, the slickness of blood at his back.

he grabs at his brother, fists a hand in his chest. Sam's face is twisted in sorrow. Fuck. I love you, little guy, he thinks. then, fuck, don't let me go. i don't want to go. shit's never happened the way he wanted it to, but this is something else. Atleast. well, atleast he's gonna end up in the empty. that's what Billie promised him, right? Atleast he'll be with cas.

Still, Still. he's only human, and he's drowning in his own blood, can smell it, can taste it, it's everywhere, it's —

"I need you to.... to tell me... that it's okay," he says, and his voice comes out trembling, panicked. terrified. God. "I need you to tell me that it's okay."

his brother turns away from him, and dean can't hear him over the ringing in his ears, but he knows the stubborn bastard, the way his shoulders lift. God. God. Cas.

"Look at me," he pleads. "I need... I need..." he can't breathe. god, he can't breathe. "Please, Sam. I need you to tell me that it's okay."

Sam's face swims to the front of his line of sight, all warped like it's on the other side of a fishbowl. dean clutches at his brother harder. tries to, anyway. he's so tired. he's so fucking tired.

his fingers slip.

Something warm, and sam holds him in place.

"Dean...," and in another world, dean would've made fun of the blubbering mess he's become. would've teased him for caring so much about his stupid older brother. "it's okay. It's okay. i— I got you."

it's crazy, dean thinks, that it helps. the tone of his brother's voice. his face, even warped and cracking open with grief. dean raised this kid, and it was a bitch of a job, and man, did he hate it at times, but look at sam now. he did good. he did so good. he did —

dean goes under like he's being put to sleep. almost easy, almost soft. Thanks, he thinks, the last coherent thought in his head. Thanks, kid.

~

He wakes up on a road. The sun shines down bright like it's the start of summer, and there's this pleasant warmth in the air. the world around him is golden, stretching into the horizon on flat land where it meets the brown mounds of the black hills. dean blinks up at the mountains, a strange chill crawling down his spine.

"You're here early," a familiar voice says, and dean turns to find himself standing in front of Bobby's porch. light's drenched this whole place, too, making the wood panelling look blond. Bobby's fucking smiling. Shit. Shit.

dean's starting to feel disoriented, almost.

"And what's 'here' supposed to be, exactly?"

Bobby frowns, his smile slipping. he looks at dean like he's a right fool. "Heaven, dean," he says. "where else'd you think you'd go?"

dean thought.... Fuck. there's a strange emptiness pushing at the inside of dean's skin. he feels like he's been put together upside down. Billie.... Billie....

Billie's in the empty, and fuck. maybe grudges don't get passed down to the new death. fuck. fuck.

Dean stumbles to the porch steps, crumples on them when he can't go further. Absently, he's aware of Bobby moving behind him, the creaking of his rocking chair, his footsteps on the wood.

he stares out at the grass, the outline of the mountains, the clear blue sky. it's beautiful. it's nothing. it's empty. fuck. fuck. what the hell is dean supposed to do now. without — what the hell is he supposed to do?!

Bobby's hand is warm on his shoulder. dean feels small, the way he leans into it, the way he kinda wants to cry.

"what's wrong, dean?" Bobby asks, and his voice is all wrong , like he's tried to scrape the gruffness out of it and badly. dean could laugh. but. fuck. fuck.

why the hell is he here? why is he here?!

he swallows. shit's never really gone his way in life, so why would it in death? he swallows again. says, "i don't know, Bobby."

Me, he thinks. I'm what's wrong.

"i don't know."

[justchillandshipit]

More thoughts:

I linked a post below that has me thinking about Tommy's actions & Eddie's place in the narrative. In retrospect, I 100% believe Tommy knows and understands that Eddie is likely going to be Buck's last. (as much as anybody can know this sort of thing.) I know Tim and Oliver said Eddie had nothing to do with the obstacles in Buck's relationship, but I think that was a partial truth on their part. Technically, Buck does spiral because of Abby and #stagefoureddiediaz has talked about the way Buck is still stuck on the hamster wheel. I think both of these things are part of the obstacles mentioned in one of Oliver's interviews. However, if you look only at those things, you overlook the Pink Eddie in the room. While I agree that Eddie didn't interfere or try to stop Buck & Tommy from being together, his friendship with Buck has remained a constant. (see the link at the very bottom for more about Eddie in the narrative.) If you check out Buddielifer's post, several good points demonstrate the breakup was about Eddie. I'll try to avoid repeating what was said there as I explain. My opinion does differ on a few small points, but I'll get to that later.

Ok. I'm going to talk about Tommy a little but stick with me. This is a Buddie post. I promise, and I do have a point. I do believe Buck was attracted to Tommy, not because he had some great destiny to be the love of Buck's life, but because he did a few really cool things while helping to save Bobby & Athena's lives. Plus, Tommy did it in the coolest way possible. Helicopter pilots are cool, or they would be if they weren't dating one-half of your favorite ship. lol. Before the kiss, Buck wasn't self-aware enough to fully engage with his sexuality, I suspect that he handled his attraction to Tommy the way he handled it with other men before we knew him as a firefighter.

As we saw in a flashback, when Buck met a man he felt attracted to, he processed those feelings by befriending him. It was the same with Tommy. That is why he was at the hangar that day. When he offered to buy Tommy a beer, I truly think Buck thought he was making a new friend. If you think about it, you can see this was a pattern for Buck. He did have a meltdown over Eddie when they first met (but with Eddie, bigger things were and are still in play) It doesn't change the fact that once Buck got past his initial jealousy or whatever that was, he threw himself all in with Eddie. It was part of his pattern and part of #stagefour's hamster wheel. (Endgame will have Buck get off the wheel and look around. The person standing there was never part of the wheel, but the person waiting for him to stop and get off of it.)

The situation with Tommy is probably closer to how Buck reacted to his friend who wanted Buck as a sperm donor. Buck actually followed that 'friend' to Peru. I have a post from a while back where I discuss Buck sending mixed signals. In his mind, he is making a friend, but he is also unconsciously flirting. Tommy was the first to push through and just kiss Buck. I don't think this was nefarious so much as an attempt to interpret the signals Buck was sending. (I'm sure many see Tommy as having bad intentions but stick with me. I'm trying to put him into the context where Tim claimed he wanted him to be seen. Tommy was supposed to be a mentor or a more experienced man helping Buck navigate this side of himself.) As a teacher, Tommy did help him navigate, but he also let Buck set the pace. Although never shown, we know Buck is a very sexual being, and the deleted scene with Tommy, Hen, and Karen confirmed that Tommy was just trying to keep up with him.

But I digress. Buck's intention to befriend Tommy ended the exact moment that Eddie showed up at the hangar with a huge smile on his face. Stoic Eddie who does not show his emotions was smiling hugely. Even though this is from Buck's perspective and he is an unreliable narrator, it is plausible to me that Eddie would be excited to go to a live fight in Vegas. Oliver and Tim have talked a lot over the past few weeks about how Buck spirals. When Eddie left with Tommy, Buck began to spiral in a way that we have never seen before or since. He was absolutely unhinged with jealousy. There is no way that Buck, who didn't even ask about Tommy's dating history until six months into the relationship, was that insane to get the attention of a man he has known for a few days or weeks. Now that we are pulling in new material from the current season, it isn't even remotely believable that Buck's reaction was about Tommy.

If Buck had experienced some sort of love-at-first-sight moment with Tommy, then he would have asked Tommy about his past at the beginning of the relationship. In fact, people entering into something serious generally ask about past partners in the first few weeks of getting to know each other or before sex. The fact that Buck didn't, is a change in pattern for him. Buck typically throws himself all in and then when things go wrong, he doesn't know how he got there. (Also part of the hamster wheel.) However, I attribute the difference this time to the fact that, subconsciously, Buck knows what he's feeling. He can use his body. (borderline sex addict). However, he can't bring himself to share with Tommy what he already shares with Eddie, but you know our unaware cowboy can't see it yet.

At the hangar, Tommy didn't have a feel for Buck yet. However, by the end of the Vegas trip, I think he had picked up a good idea from Eddie that there was something there. (not because Eddie has made some sort of confession, but because I'm confident that Eddie talked about Buck nonstop. I'm hoping that we get some sort of confirmation of this in the current season. I don't want it to be forgotten.) At any rate, whatever conclusions Tommy drew from his time in Vegas with Eddie and the time they spent hanging out afterward didn't bother him enough to refuse to date Buck. I do think Tommy was longing for the family and support he could see Buck has with the 118, but I don't think he was ever planning a wedding in his head. In fact, I know he wasn't. That's part of why he broke up with Buck.

Sidenote: (Thanks to StageFourEddieDiaz, for pointing out how Buck failed to understand the mission from Josh's speech because this is what caused Buck to shift from not letting Tommy get too close to asking Tommy to move in with him.) Until the conversation with Josh, Buck was actively shutting Tommy out of anything other than sex and possibly learning the ins and outs of the LGBTQ community.

Again, in the beginning, this didn't bother Tommy. He knew what Buck needed, and as he stated a few times during the sixth episode, Buck was hot and fun. If you need examples of Buck shutting Tommy out, I point you to anything that happened in the Halloween episode. I'm not saying Buck didn't care about Tommy at all, but he was holding back. The look on Buck's face as Josh asked about his feelings really said it all. I think this is probably why Josh was a little shy of the mark when giving his speech about comphet. Josh had to give a long list of, "Do you feel "this or that" for your boyfriend of six months," before he finally hit on something that Buck did feel. I don't want to get off topic or repeat too much from the linked post, I just wanted to illustrate that the jealousy from Buck's coming out episode was 100% for Eddie and that it was something that Tommy realized before entering the relationship.

I know there will be some disagreement here, but I also feel like Tommy's feelings for Buck actually were on the verge of changing, and he hadn't expected that. When they were standing at the grave, Buck gave his eulogy directed to Billy Boils. Tommy's face went through a series of changes. First, he seemed annoyed or concerned. I couldn't quite tell, but the more Buck talked, the more you could see of our Buck. The guy with a huge heart who can empathize with the skeletal remains of a criminal. I'll link the clip for you to judge. What Buck had to say to Billy was more open and revealed more about Buck's character than anything he had been saying to Tommy over the past six months. It was a small scene, but one that probably came back to Tommy when Buck suggested moving in together.

It was scenes like this one combined with Tommy's exclusion from group chat, etc., that probably helped to remind him that Buck's feelings six months ago were not about him and nothing had changed despite Buck's suggestion that he move in. Tommy's insecurities took over and reminded him what the inevitable end was going to be for them. He was the first not the last.

For the past six months, he's known that Eddie was between them, but you could see how comfortable he was with it. He didn't seem annoyed by Eddie's presence at all. I disagree with either Tim or Oliver when they try to play up that Tommy was Eddie's friend and this was natural. Eddie and Buck met Tommy at the same time, and Tommy was trying to shoot his shot by taking Eddie to Vegas. I don't know what was discussed between Eddie & Tommy during those few weeks where Buck was being left out, but it is clear that whatever conclusion he had drawn from the Vegas trip had been solidified by what happened on the basketball court, so much so that he wanted to apologize to Buck in person. We all know how that went, and I still think that was a good scene.

This brings me to the breakup scene itself. In the end, when Tommy talks about how he didn't see it coming. I don't think he was referring to the breakup. I think he was referring to the feelings he caught close to the end. He thought he would help Buck, provide a safe space for Buck to explore that he personally didn't have, and have some fun with a hot young thing, but he let it go too far. (His reasons are pretty much part of what Tim has said in interviews.) I don't think Tommy realized how much he had gotten caught up in the fantasy of Buck until Buck asked him to move in with him. I do think he's sincere when he says his heart would end up broken because, despite his feelings, he still understands there is something between Buck and Eddie even if they don't.

(One side note. I agree with Buck that first and last can be the same thing. I don't buy into the belief that you have to be with dozens of sexual partners, but I also don't think that would have been the case with Buck. He is a sexual character, and he's openly curious. I know people were mad about the interview where Oliver talked about letting Buck F#ck, but I think that would be in character for an upset Buck who was just dumped. It is less about his sexuality than it is about his abandonment issues and neglect trauma. That's my take anyway. We'll see what Tim does with it. I do think the part of Buck that craves monogamy already belongs to someone else, and the di was cast before Tommy came into his life, and we are back again to the hamster wheel.)

If you stuck with me this long, thank you. I know there are few, if any, fans of Tommy around here so I appreciate that you were willing to objectively view him the way Tim kept trying to present him. I'm tired and I'm pretty sure I rambled a couple of times, but I do understand Tommy is a problematic character. I consider that to be a writing issue that never got a satisfying resolution. I'm equally aware some people hate him simply because he was with Buck. I'm not doing a lot of judging these days because I already know how unreasonable I'm going to be over Eddie being with another man. After seven seasons of subtext, they are already in love. These other relationships are like cheating. lol I'm not so secretly hoping that if Eddie needed a "first" he got it when he was a teenager or when he was in Afghanistan.

I can tell I'm going to be bad because when I see posts about Eddie sleeping with a priest, I want to scream into a pillow and pretend that I'm flipping over furniture and tossing chairs across the room. I just can't be reasonable. I would never attack the actors or writers though. That's not me. My jealousy is on Buck's behalf, and my bad behavior remains entirely inside my head. I don't know what they'll do with Eddie, but they are going to need a chat group to make sure Eddie's boyfriends do not meet with Buck's subconscious mind.

Click here to see the meta on Eddie Haunting the Narrative from #buddielifers.

[astral-mariner]

Exclusive preview chapter of my pre-DBZ Saiyans under Freeza fic, Homeworld Lost (read parts 1 & 2 already posted here) below the cut. Content warning for graphic violence and many disturbing themes.

This chapter is the third chapter of Part 9: Between the Stars. A little context: Vegeta, Raditz, and Nappa are en route to their third and final scheduled purge planet after taking a long time to recover from some serious injuries they endured while on their previous mission. It was traumatic for everyone, to say the least, and each character has tried to cope with the various events in his own way. Vegeta is on edge for a very specific reason, but Raditz either doesn't speculate or is intentionally obfuscating this reason. Vegeta is in his early 20s here, Raditz in his late 20s.

***

Part 9: Between the Stars Chapter 3: Cui's Assignment

I turned the knife over in my hands. Squeezed it. Channeled my energy through my fingers till it passed through the prism. The blade appeared. I often wondered if Shardonne had ever learned to control what little power she had or if she instead harvested souls like [SPOILER]. Either way, fidgeting like this alone in my pod, I’d discovered that I could sate the knife’s hunger for life energy.

Not that I would know how to use it beyond this or perform any kind of spiritual surgery. I had, like the coward I was, left [Freeza's healer's] secrets to languish with him in his laboratory. Perhaps Arugala’s mother, my patroness, had taught me the anatomy of our chakras as she had her own children, but I wouldn’t know how to mend a soul any better than I would how to repair a body that I’d dispatched. However expertly I’d done it.

Yet when I awoke in a tank at a nearby station, Zarbon had left the knife tucked into my breastplate where he’d certainly found it. As if he expected me to learn how to use it. I’d figured out how to use and corrupt other devices supposedly beyond saiyan comprehension. So for all his talk of ensuring Vegeta’s death once he'd fulfilled his purpose, he’d nevertheless given me a chance to heal him. Equally possible that he was mocking me. Ultimately, he knew what Freeza and [his healer] meant to do to Vegeta where I didn’t, and he would manipulate all of us to secure his desired outcome.

Fidgeting. The blade flickered dangerously above my wrist. I didn’t want to step out of my pod. We didn’t belong here.

Vegeta’s grim shadow fell across the pod’s red window. Hurrying, I extinguished the blade and shoved it back inside my breastplate. He wouldn’t tolerate any delays, and only gods knew how he might punish me if he caught me with the knife. He’d come close several times. Always watching my whereabouts during our breaks from stasis.

He opened the hatch for me. “Sleep when you’re dead, third-class,” he spat.

I got up. Fit my scouter over my eye.

“Where the fuck is he?”

Nappa.

“I’m sure he’s almost here,” I reassured the prince.

“Gods, almost as useless as you.” He paced restlessly. Back and forth, boots grinding the dust beneath his feet. His fingers tapped and twitched where they gripped his bicep.

“We don’t have to do this, you know.”

He stopped. His back turned to me, I saw only the subtle bristle of his tightly-wound tail. “Cui”—a deep breath—“has humiliated me for the last time. Let him come to this planet and face me if he dares. After I am through cleansing this planet for him, taking half the time, I’ll throw his dust into the wind.”

“But, this planet…without clearance. Freeza might—”

“Freeza will punish Cui.”

“I don’t think Freeza cares what Cui does.”

Abruptly, Vegeta spun to face me. A flash of violet before I could react. The shot flew over my shoulder to strike a ruin stretched across the horizon. It crumbled to the earth with the roar of falling stone and the scream of metal bending, kicking up clouds of dirt and ashes.

Vegeta continued as if nothing had happened. “Took the Ginyus to subdue this planet.” Pacing again. “Freeza gives us such strange assignments. So very strange… Never was about what the Planet Trade needs a saiyan to fight. When was the last time we fought with honor?”

Fuenghi was a great power, having brought us all to the brink of death, but the prince’s question was rhetorical. I’d learned not to speak out of turn.

He stopped and tapped his scouter. Still searching for Nappa’s signal. “There are always survivors of these purges…” Pulling at his gloves now, adjusting them, wringing his hands together.

If it took the Ginyu Force, we could be in for more than a fight, my mind answered him, presuming he wouldn’t hear. He would not be questioned. Ever since recovering Nappa from the pleasure station, he tolerated so much less.

Everywhere we went, rooms fell silent until our sharp hearing picked up the inevitable mutterings about the massacre. Already Freeza’s scourge, now the prince was the murderer of depraved murderers, more merciless and cruel than any who favored their lawless gathering place. He might’ve worn the titles with pride if not for the disgraceful rumors that came with them.

“Nothing to say, third-class?”

“Yes, it’ll be good to have a real fight,” I agreed despite not having listened. “You don’t need to justify it to me.”

“As if I owe you an explanation.”

“You don’t.” And I didn’t need one. A worthy opponent to test his strength, putting Cui in his place—rationalizations for himself more than anyone else. He certainly wasn’t the first of his name to confuse our thirst for battle for a lust for blood.

He blasted at the ground a tail’s length off from where I stood. “You watched him get in his pod, didn’t you? You set up the coordinates yourself.”

“I did. You saw him—he was in his right mind before I initiated any stasis protocols.”

“You sent him somewhere, didn’t you? So you could say I forced you to come. That you weren’t responsible. That I was the one to go off course and defy orders.” He scoffed. “Try one of your lies with Freeza and see where it gets you.”

Nonsensical accusations, but I wouldn’t criticize him. “I swear I didn’t,” I said.

“Pray that he arrives soon, then.”

Even if Vegeta had come alone, consequences would fall on all of us. Our disobedience wouldn’t go unnoticed; taking on Cui’s assignment was meant to draw attention. No matter what Vegeta might’ve done to me, I would’ve refused to reprogram our route under any other circumstance. However, this planet must harbor some secret if Freeza had commanded the Ginyus specifically to purge it. More than mere strength, the assignment had required precision and, above all, trust. So I’d gathered from Cui last we met.

I let out a sigh once my scouter finally alerted me to Nappa’s arrival. He landed not far off, and I hurried to his pod. Better that he faced me first with the prince poised on the edge of wrath.

I opened the hatch for him once assured his vitals were stable. He was still groggy, but he recognized me. “I’m glad you’re all right.” Offered him my hand to help him stand. “Just…do as he says. Vegeta is in rare form.”

He nodded, but his knotted brow betrayed his confusion.

“We’re cleansing the planet,” I explained. “Leveling what’s left of the population centers, tracking down survivors. It wasn’t on our itinerary, so don’t blame yourself for not knowing.”

“Did you… Is this the first time you’ve told me this?”

I shook my head as I found his scouter for him, took his hand, and folded it over the device. I had, in fact, told him repeatedly. “You just woke up. It’s been a while.”

His scouter locked onto Vegeta stalking toward us, and he tensed.

“Are either of you done wasting my time?”

I positioned myself between him and Nappa. “I just sent you the updated maps. Got a hold of them right before we left.”

He narrowed his eyes, but scrolling over the data distracted him sufficiently. “If either of you fall behind,” he said once he’d finished his review, “I will leave you to rot on this godsforsaken rock.”

“You mean for us to stick together?” Nappa asked.

The prince laughed coldly. “If I could trust either of you, I might assign each of you different continents in the interest of time. But the fact of the matter is that I cannot.”

He took off without warning. Nappa and I scrambled after him, relying on our scouters when we couldn’t match his speed. His flight cut an angry gash through the red smog. Distant, rapid blasts thundered across the sky in brilliant flashes on either side of the wound. Tracing his path with the scouter’s map, he left absolutely nothing in his wake for us to destroy. He would do the work of an entire crew in a matter of hours if exhaustion couldn’t prevent him.

The prince thus occupied, I could easily slip away. And Nappa might not even realize I’d left with how he’d been. Compunction’s familiar ache churned beneath my ribs as I imagined him stranded and lost above the wastes. A relief, then, that I hardly knew what to look for. What it would be worth sneaking away to find. If Vegeta left anything behind for the finding.

He fired and fired and fired until he couldn’t keep apace with the planet’s rotation, and night caught up with him. And then even the dazzling crashes of energy grew fewer and farther between. Darkness at last came to rest over the devastation, and my scouter indicated that Vegeta had descended to the surface. The map outlined what remained of a settlement through the obfuscation of smoke.

Once I landed, letting the prince have his distance, an energy scan discovered no survivors. Just a few minuscule power levels likely belonging to animals. Smaller buildings clustered together on the outskirts of an industrial compound. The Ginyus had taken care to destroy the machines, hangars, towers, and ships, but had left the rest well enough intact.

On an instinct, I made way for the rubble. Nappa followed me without comment. Vegeta, meanwhile, continued to stalk along the perimeter of the settlement, moving with silent intent. Masking, perhaps, a need for rest. Whatever he pursued, I couldn’t stop him, and it made no difference to me so long as he gave me enough time to pick through the debris before disintegrating it.

Glints of green from my scouter’s glow reflected across generators, glass amalgam, new scouter chips, command boxes, adapted prisms—all recognizable, but each with features slightly different from those laid out in the plans Freeza had gifted me those two moons ago. These were more advanced. Only at the Imperial Academy itself had I come across such technology. And this was at some remote factory—hardly what the planet’s occupants must’ve kept for their ports and capitals.

They would’ve traveled far and known much. Too much. I reached down and sifted through the scouter chips until I’d isolated a few that heat and dirt hadn’t rendered useless. These I slipped inside my breastplate near the stolen knife. In all likelihood, the chips didn’t store any sensitive information, but I couldn’t leave them and wonder.

I looked over my shoulder. Nappa had wandered off. I spun, then tapped my scouter when I couldn’t see him anywhere.

A sigh of relief when the scouter highlighted his silhouette behind a shipwreck. Or not quite a shipwreck, but rather the spilled guts of a newly constructed Planet Trade flagship. One of its landing claws held him sitting upright. He looked up from his hands when I approached him.

“Here, you’ll need this,” I said, retrieving his discarded scouter for him.

He took it, fit it, and squinted at the display. “What time is it?”

“Hard to say, but it’s been hours. I’m tired too.”

He picked himself up, refusing all help, and scanned the terrain of the settlement. “I don’t remember this planet from the briefings.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “We took Cui’s cleansing assignment. A detour so we could get here before his crew did. The prince’s idea.”

“He’s out that way.” He took a step in the same direction.

I gripped his arm before he could take off. “Nappa, we just need to get through this without fucking anything up. He put both of us in tanks last time, and he was already furious with you for being late.”

He hung his head. “It’s because of—”

“It’s because of the drug. I know you took some of it with you. And you won’t get better unless you stop taking it.” The last statement I wasn’t so sure of, but I needed to sound sure in case it were true.

“You took it too.”

“I—” I had no excuse for him, and he would know if I lied. He’d seen into my mind just as I’d seen into his all that time ago. “Once,” I said finally. “And you must’ve seen what’s happened with Vegeta too. So you know—maybe better than anyone—that he needs us to stay—”

An explosion cut off the rest. My arm whipped to shield my eyes as heat and hurled scrap crashed towards us.

A few scrapes here and there, but Nappa and I sustained no real damage. The scouter detected no power levels of any significance aside our own. I had to assume that Vegeta had grown weary of this place and would annihilate us with it if we lingered. No more blasts followed, however, and the ruins fell again into the obscurity of night.

The prince remained where he was, and we followed his energy. We heard him before we spotted the sparks blazing around his fists. Shouting.

“Freeza sent his special forces to destroy the likes of you? If you have any honor left, show me your real power.”

I directed Nappa to land at a cautious distance. Vegeta’s energy lit a gleam of terror across the furred creature’s face.

“If—if you have a ship, we’ll go. Take whatever you want!” it stammered. “W-we gave your people the maps already!”

Vegeta laughed. “I don’t give a damn about any of your maps. Either die a warrior’s death, or meet an end worse than hers.” He channeled more energy into his right hand and pointed it to illuminate a spot some tail lengths off.

There lay the mangled body of another creature. Several of six limbs twisted and broken. One snapped above the elbow, only soft flesh keeping the rest of the arm attached. A black, bloody mess of organs tangled beneath the ribs. Agony still contorted the face.

A shriek.

“What, never seen a battlefield before?” He blasted next to the creature and cackled as it dove into the dirt to dodge it. “Guess not. Hid from the purge too like the cowardly scum you are.”

The prince circled round to his victim’s side. The creature trembled too much to stand and couldn’t answer him apart from whimpers and sobs.

“Pathetic.” He shoved his boot into the creature’s spine. “Last chance to fight back. Show your strength.”

Turning away, I glanced toward Nappa. “I don’t think Freeza sent the Ginyu Force because these people were strong,” I said.

He stared blankly into the sky, smoke blotting out the stars. He was always worse when Vegeta lashed out. There was nothing to be done.

“Don’t think you’re going to fight,” the prince scorned. “Pissed yourself instead—I can smell it on you.”

A hoarse scream followed the deep crack of a limb wrenched from its socket. Pain’s memory echoed through my shoulders, numbness through my fingers. Vegeta had done the same to me when his blows left me shivering and useless. Warm-blooded, the creature must suffer similarly, and though we couldn’t let it live for Freeza to find, its misery served no purpose.

I braced myself before facing Vegeta once more. Before bearing witness to the torture he could easily turn on me if anger mastered him. “They’re just weaklings,” I shouted. “A waste of your time. Let’s get this over with and get off this planet.”

He dropped the creature with a snarl. “I don’t take orders from you, third-cl—”

A bolt of red struck his armor in between his shoulder blades. From a blaster deadly enough to pierce Planet Trade gear, yet ineffective in harming someone of the prince’s power level. He whipped around where he stood in search of the sniper, hands ready with charges.

A pair of smaller beings lingered a second too long before disappearing around a wall’s corner.

Vegeta kicked the creature at his feet. “Are those…your children?”

“No!” A plea rather than a denial.

“They—aha—are going to watch you die.” He tapped his scouter, isolating the trace power levels instantly. He vanished, my eyes hardly able to track him, and the two children had no hope of escape.

“Nn…” The presumed father squirmed towards me. Supplicant, he stretched one trembling hand out to me.

I took aim for his head.

“Aren’t you going to save him?”

Fired.

I didn’t process what Vegeta had said or why until it was too late. My shot had stricken the child who’d dove to protect his father from me. Now he wept over the little body.

I gathered energy into my hand. “These people are a waste. Just kill them.”

Vegeta answered my charge with one of his own. The child he held by the neck didn’t understand that he meant it for me and squirmed as far away as it could. “Defying me, third-class? How sorry you must be that Freeza won’t let me grant your deathwish. Always tempting me… I can control myself, unlike you.” His grip on the child’s throat stifled a scream.

I stood my ground. “Tell yourself whatever you want. But you won’t humiliate Cui by taking twice as long on his assignment.”

He fixed his sharp eyes on mine, sneering, as he leaned more of his weight and strength into his heel until his boot crushed spine and ribs with an unmistakable, wet crunch. “Worthless,” he snarled over the creature’s gargling.

A quick death, at least, if not an easy one. Consequences damned, I vowed that the child would receive an end just as swift even if I had to intervene. All four eyes tightly shut, tears streamed into the dark fur lining its face. Its lips quivered over clenched teeth, and trilled whimpers escaped through them as Vegeta released its throat to embrace the child from behind. Almost as tall as he was, the prince’s mouth was level with its ear.

“Does it make you strong, watching them die?” he said.

I’d heard those words before, and my steps faltered.

“It’s been so long since I’ve fought someone worthy… So long, lying awake, restless…” Abruptly, he let go of the child. “Show me you aren’t as useless as the rest.”

Its limbs buckled instantly, and it tumbled forward into the remains of its father and sibling. Away from Vegeta, I had a clear shot. I awaited only a slip of the prince’s attention. His speed would thwart me otherwise, and he’d deflect the blast.

The child, however, did not merely lie shocked and defeated. Somehow, even with a mouth full of its father’s blood, it summoned the will to rise up from the ground. I knew very little about the child’s race, but the look it turned on Vegeta was one of pure hatred. “Why?” it spat at him.

The prince answered with a crooked grin. “As if I could tell you why the gods have forsaken you.”

“Gods have nothing to do with it.” The child managed to stand. A rise in power level did not accompany it. “You did this.”

“Who are the gods but whoever is strongest?” Again, he seized the child by the neck. “And I am stronger than you. I’m stronger—haha—a Super Saiyan, the strongest in the universe!”

The [SPOILER] I’d seen had been no more than a dream. I was sure of it now. Many times had Vegeta lied, hidden, said one thing and done another, and exhibited more arrogance than his actual strength warranted. After all that’d happened, I understood why. My heart ached for him still. But as much as I’d denied it ever since he’d turned on me on that empty planet, I was beginning to recognize his madness for what it was. And because his sanity was slipping, I knew his defenses would slip too when I finally aimed and took my shot.

Blasted cleanly through its skull, the child died immediately. The body convulsed for a few seconds before going limp. Still gripping the neck while he raved, Vegeta seemed not to realize what’d happened.

“There is nothing but your own strength. The gods gave you a mother and father just to wound you when they were taken away. Better now that they’re gone, and you see the truth. I’ve set you free. Does it make you strong?”

He shook the body, rattled it. He’d come to assume soon enough that he’d spoiled his torture too soon. The corpse could fascinate him only so long. I left him with it to see where Nappa had gone.

He’d found the children’s hiding place behind the crumbled wall. He sat, rocking back and forth, muttering to himself. Something about Savoy. I couldn’t stand to listen. I leaned down and struck him hard across the face.

“We have to get out of here. You’ve got to snap out of it.”

He shook his head, massaged his cheek, and seemed to recognize me when our eyes met.

“Vegeta just needed a moment to rest, but he’ll be ready to set out again soon. He’ll put us in tanks again if we fall behind.”

“Raditz…where are we?”

I took a deep breath and turned my back to him before I could curse in his face. “Fucking gods damn it all,” I ground out. “Shit. Fuck. Can’t fucking take this anymore. Can’t fucking do it.” All of us were mad in our own way, and our next assignment would end in disaster. And all I had was I knife I couldn’t use, empty scouter chips, and connections who meant me more harm than anything else. Vegeta had been right about one thing—the gods wouldn’t help us either. They never had.

“Nappa,” I said, facing him again, “once we leave, we’re going to go through your things and get rid of whatever is left of that drug. Let me do it, or Vegeta will.”

He frowned. Perhaps he hadn’t even understood. Better, then, if he was too far gone to interfere.

“Just follow me, all right?” I took him by the arm. “It’s just a cleansing assignment we took from Cui. There’s not much left. We just have to finish up and leave.”

“Where’s Vegeta?”

“Down that way. Found some survivors and took care of them.”

His brow knotted after he tapped his scouter. Another tap. “He’s gone.”

Fucking gods, I refused to utter aloud. “Of course he is.” I locked onto his energy before he could fly too far ahead. “We’ve got to go.”

[venerawrites]

I saw the post where the anon asked for relationship hdcs for before/after the war this morning and I wanted to ask for something similar but make it sort of a spin-off where they broke off bc of his toxic behavior pre-war and then they meet again after it? I hope the anon don't mind me LOLOL i just loved the idea

author's note: I love the exes-to-lovers trope and I was about to go with that at first, but then I decided it's better if I kind of leave it with more of an open ending x For anyone wondering the post anon is talking about, the headcanons this imagine is based on. Hope you enjoy! <3

Loving him was never meant to be easy.

In fact, you often felt like it is shameful. He was cold and cruel, with heart poisoned by hatred. His desire for revenge has become a scary obsession, one which was pushing him closer and closer toward the edge of his sanity every single day.

People were scared of him, you knew that. "The Demon with the Red Eyes", they called him. His name had become a forbidden curse, one that should never be mentioned out loud or it may summon his presence from the shadows. Parents hugged their children close when he walked down the dirty village roads and merchants lowered their heads, hoping he would pass by without a glance. He had became a legend of fear, a nightmare in the shape of a man.

Once upon a time the village you lived in was a peaceful haven - tucked away in the mountains, it was one of the few places where there were no ninjas. Instead of warriors, the people here were craftsmen - they were born and taught to create, not destruct. Blacksmiths forged fine blades from rare metals, making some of the highest-quality weaponry anyone can own. Weavers produced fabrics, so beautiful, every village and clan leader across the lands wanted their garments made from them to show their status and wealth. Over the years, these talents had secured not only peaceful relationships with other villages and nations, but also provided protection to the locals from the turmoil of the outside world.

Rogue ninjas rarely passed by and even when they did, they were not interested in attacking or stealing. They knew that destructing one of the main providers of materials to all the nations would bring only trouble, one that is not worth the headache if you are already a wanted criminal.

But nothing good can last forever and for your village the end of the peaceful times came in the form of Sasuke Uchiha.

It was a late summer night when you found him heavily bleeding on the forest ground near your house. Thinking back, you should've paid more attention to the small crest on the back of his shirt, before you dragged him back to your house. Because barely an hour passed before you found yourself pressed against the wall, the cold metal of his sword barely scraping the delicate skin of your neck.

"Give me one reason I should spare your life", he said calmly, yet his crimson red eyes narrowed as he stared you down. It was then the realisation of who you actually brought home hit you.

"Because I spared yours...", you breathed out, your voice barely above a whisper. Your answer seemed to amuse him and he let out a loud snort, his head leaning to one side. Not only you didn't beg for your life, but you also seemed to find the confidence to provide cheeky answers.

The boy didn't say anything else and you closed your eyes when you felt his blade pressing slightly harder against your skin, making a small cut. Before it can actually harm you, however it retreated completely. You stood there panting, one of your hands immediately moving toward your neck, wiping the small drop of blood that was slowly running down to your collarbone.

When you opened your eyes again, he was gone.

Months passed, yet the memory of that brief interaction haunted you like a ghost. There was something about him, something you couldn't really place your finger on, that allured you like a moth to a flame. Growing up hearing the rumours of a powerful Leaf Shinobi, who abandoned his home and his friends to seek power so he can kill his brother, you have always imagined him as big, scary, monster-like human. Someone who can justify the horror stories the people told about him.

The boy that you brought to your house, however, was too... perfect. His eyes glowed like rubies, making your breath hitch in awe, rather than fear. His skin, despite being covered with small scars and cuts, looked too soft to be one of a warrior. He was beautiful, no denial about that, but the aura of his presence was what mesmerized you. It was unlike anyone you've ever met before. It was powerful, demanding your whole attention and making you feel almost unsignificant in comparison.

Two seasons passed before you found him laying on your couch after you came back home from work, his white shirt painted red from the flowing blood from his abdomen. He didn't even bother to look at you when he heard you gasp and drop the bag with groceries on the floor, instead acknowledging your presence only with a few simple words:

"I need stiches."

Your mouth opened, intending to argue that you are not a healer, but before any sound could come out, your eyes met his and something inside of you broke. His gaze, as black as night, looked like he was silently pleading with you - something he had no guts to do out loud. Before you could think twice about the potential consequences of saving him a second time, you rushed to grab your medical box and sat on the floor before him, starting to delicately work on his skin. He guided you through the process with low voice, his rough fingers wrapping around yours when he noticed them shaking before scolding you for not keeping steady.

"If I knew you were so incompetent with simple tasks that even a child could do, I wouldn't have wasted my time coming here."

One thing about Sasuke is that he was not the type of man to spare your feelings. In fact, with time you noticed the he was taking extra minute before saying something, almost as if he carefully weighting and choosing the words that would sting the most. He seemed to find a certain dose of pleasure in it, his lips barely twitching upwards when you fire back insults at him, telling him he knows where the door is.

Yet time and time again, he found his way back to you. Of course, it was never accompanied by an apology for the way he treated you. He was not the type to apologize or admit fault. Instead, his visits were always paired with a demand. "Heal me", he would command you, before throwing his sword and shirt to the side; or "Let me stay for a while, I need to rest", before entering through the door uninvited. Your home has become a place of solitude, one where he could forget the pain, the lust for blood and the constant headache of having to deal with his old teammates from Konoha, even if it was for few days.

You were not one to hold back against his sharp tongue, matching his words with equal fire. "Ungrateful prick", you would say loud enough for him to hear after he sought your help once again after he was wounded, "This is the last time I am taking care of your stupid ass. Next time I am letting you bleed out on the front porch! I don't care!"

But you did care and it was never 'the last time', no matter how many times you repeated it. And the cycle continued: sharp words would be followed by mutual frustrations and him disappearing for a few weeks, before he found himself entering through the front door once again. You try to convince yourself you hated him, yet you kept leaving your home unlocked, a silent invitation for him to keep reappearing into your life.

It would've been easier to cut him out forever, if it wasn't for the rare glimpses of softness he showed you. The moments when his guard dropped, even if it was just for a bit, revealing that behind his cold exterior, he was just one broken boy. The way he would subtly press his cheek against the palm of your hand when you clean the wounds of his face, silently seeking your warmth and comfort. They way his eyes would soften while he listens to you ramble on and on about the rainy weather which makes it impossible for you to go and work out in your garden. The way he fixed random stuff in your house, after your complained you couldn't really work well with a hammer or that one of the chairs was wobbling, yet the local handyman was too busy to come and take a look.

These moments, so rare, yet significant to you, made it impossible to break this toxic circle you both found yourselves into. Slowly, he became such a constant in your life that it was impossible to even imagine not having him around. He had his own shelf in the wardrobe, where a few of his shirts were folded neatly, though he never explicitly asked you for a place to keep his things. His cup always sat turned upside down near the sink and he often brought "souvenirs" - random, odd trinkets - from his travels across the villages, carefully placing them on the small wooden rack next to the fireplace.

And in a weird way, you didn't mind. Instead, you found yourself doing small acts of care for him, things he never asked or expected you to do. You planted a small corner of your garden with tomato seeds, just for him, so he can have fresh food whenever he visited. You packed cooked meals for him and his teammates, despite never meeting them. You washed his clothes and folded them, so they were ready to be used next time he came. You adapted to his small habits like waking up at five o'clock every single morning and having jasmine tea for breakfast, so it was always ready by time he finishes his morning training.

The balance you managed to strike between the words of resentment and the gestures of gentleness was as delicate as a thread about to snap. You knew it cannot last forever, not when you were witnessing him falling deeper and deeper into the darkness of his own hatred. The closer he was to finding and killing Itachi, the further he drifted from the Sasuke you knew. But you clung to the hope it is not too late for him, that once he had this final battle he was preparing for so long, he would be free of the rage that consumed him and would see that the peace he so badly wanted, could not be achieved by spilling blood.

But that same battle turned out to be the beginning of the end. For both of the little sanity he had left and of the whatever bond you had between you.

When he came to your house that night, you almost did not recognize him. Not because he was covered in dirt and dried blood, because at this point you were used to seeing him like this, but because you have never seen tears in his eyes before. His battered body collapsed in your arms and for the first time, he opened the gates to his past and told you all about his family. In the past he has mentioned bits and pieces, but never the full story. Between shuddering breaths, he recounted memories from his childhood - the playful afternoons with his mother, the training sessions with his father and brother and memories of that one night that turned his whole life upside down.

"Everything I believed, it all turned to be a lie... I..", the words fell like broken whimpers from his mouth, not forming full sentences, yet you knew better than to answer. You just held him in your arms, letting him pour all his pain, frustration and guilt, hoping that this would ease the weight of the burdens he'd carried for so long.

But what you thought was a light in the end of the tunnel turned out to be flashing red warning of what was to come. The idea of revenge persisted, this time against his former home and its leaders. His words became sharper, his presence colder and there seemed to be a new fire of hatred burning inside of him, one brighter than before. The rare glimpses of care and protectiveness that he has shown to you before, now spiraled into unhealthy paranoia of someone coming after you.

"What exactly are you doing?", you asked one day when you came home only to find him pulling your clothes out of the wardrobe and putting them into a leather bag.

Sasuke didn't even spare you a glance, his jaw tight as he continued packing with swift, urgent moves. His hair was sticking in different directions and he had dark bags under his eyes, indicator of the many nights he spend laying in bed wide awake.

"You are coming with me."

These five words caused a shiver to run down your spine. Without thinking, you lunged forward, gripping his wrist mid-air as he was reaching to pull more of your belongings. His head turned sharply toward you, his eyes narrowing as a warning for you to back off.

"Sasuke, just stop!", you snap, retreating your hand but still standing your ground, "Tell me what is going on!"

The young Uchiha stared at you for a minute, his gaze boring into yours, before he let out a loud scoff and turned his attention back to packing. He was just about to reach for a pile of your shirts, when you slapped his wrist away, annoyed at how he seemed to ignore not only your words, but your whole presence.

"Sasuke, I said stop! I am not going anywhere!"

Your words hung in the air, firm and final. He turned toward you, making a small step in your direction so you were chest to chest. You could feel the heat radiating from him and for a moment the whole room felt too small, almost as if shrunk with the intensity of his inner fury.

"I am not asking you", he hissed through gritted teeth. Before you can reply, his fingers found their way to your jaw, gripping at as he held your gaze with his, "You are coming with me, whether you like it or not. It's not safe for you here."

The pressure of his grip made you wince, while your hands pressed against his chest, trying to push him away. But he was always bigger and stronger than you, and while you have spent countless nights admiring his physique, now you cursed his strength and size.

The darkness of his eyes transformed into glowing red, his silent way of showing that he meant what he was saying.

He was not about to leave you here, not when you belonged to him.

"Sasuke!", you cried out, pressing against his chest with more force, but he remained unmoving, "Stop! You're hurting me."

Your words seemed to fall on deaf ears, his grip on your jaw tightening. His thumb brushed against your bottom lip and you gulped at the feeling, your whole body tensing one he pressed his forehead against yours.

"Don't you understand?", he asked, frustrated at the way you pushed him away. His voice was laced with a mix of desperation and annoyance, the volume of it rising with each word he spoke.

"I'm doing this for you, for US", he stressed on the last word, his head moving just an inch away so he can look into your eyes again, "They will come for you! They will use you as leverage against me and I can't-"

"Freaking hell, who is they? What are you talking about?"

The questions seemed to annoy him and instead of loosing his hold on you, he fingers dug tighter, almost as if he was scared you may slip between them.

"Who is they?", he growled, shaking his head, "It's freaking everyone! All the villages, their leaders, every damn rogue ninja out there who is after the bounty on my head... they will all come after you! I can't let that happen! I WON'T let that happen."

With both hands gripping the front of his shirt, you finally relaxed in his grip and allowed yourself to actually look at him.

And then your heart clenched in fear. It wasn't because you were scared of his dark predictions or the possibility of any of his enemies getting to you. No. What you were scared of was that after seeing the way his body shook and heard how his voice trembled, you had to accept the one truth you tried to run from for a very long time.

That the the man you fell in love with was no longer there . The Demon with the Red Eyes was all that remained.

With one final, stronger push you managed to free yourself from his hold and you didn't waste even a second in putting some distance between you. Your hand moved to your face, rubbing the sore skin while you held your eyes glued to the floor.

Even the sight of him was too much to bear at this moment.

"Stop resisting and just listen to me-", he tried to reason with you, but his attempt did nothing more than make you sick in the stomach.

"Stop, just stop!"

"I am trying to protect you-"

"You can't protect me from yourself!"

The words felt like a slap to the face and he stumbled a step back, his face twisting into a hurt expression. It was a look you've seen only once, almost two months ago when he cried in your arms after killing Itachi, one that you thought you may never see again. It pained you too, seeing him so fragile and knowing you were the reason for his disappointment and distress.

But just as quickly it showed, it was gone and replaced with his usual mask of coldness.

"You think you need protection.. from me?", his tone was even, laced with irritation as he studied you from the opposite corner of the room. His fists clenched, the urge to just grab you and drag you with him getting stronger and stronger. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer to the question, not when he already knew the answer was a positive one.

"I thought...", you managed to say before closing your mouth again and moving your head to the side. The heaviness of his gaze felt like a unbearable weight on your shoulders, one which could crush you any second now.

"You thought what?", he pressed, his head tilting to the side, "What did you think, huh? That I would stay in this silly cottage in the middle of nowhere and garden vegetables all day long? That I would just forgive and forget the people who put not only me, but also my brother through hell? The people who took everything from me?"

You watched him walk closer, shortening the safe distance you've put between you just a few moments ago. Was this what you thought? Was this what you wanted? To be honest you didn't know... The fragile illusion of your domestic cozy life, accompanied by you falling in love with the idea of someone who you thought you knew, had shattered so quickly, that you didn't know what you thought. Or wanted.

Perhaps it was your fault. You invited a monster into your life and now the consequences of your actions finally caught to you. Was there really anyone to blame but yourself?

After a minute, you managed to gather your thoughts and you looked up at him, forcing your gaze to meet his despite the overwhelming desire to just turn around and run as far as possible from him.

"I thought that there may still be hope for you", you said, your head weakly shaking from side to side, "But I was wrong. You are too far gone... and I can't let you drag me with you."

Sasuke remained silent, his red eyes studying your face, searching for any signs of insecurity, any crack in your resolve. And when he found nothing, he couldn't help but clench his fists by his side. For a moment you thought he may lash out at you, but instead, he simply turned his back to you, walking toward the door with heavy steps.

"You've always been like this", he said flatly, stopping once his hand reached the doorknob, "Naive, stupid little thing... thinking the world is just flowers and goodness. Living in your little pink bubble and having no idea of how the real world works."

His voice sounded like a snake's hiss, low, yet venomous, each word dripping with disdain. He stood there for a few more seconds and you saw the muscles of his back tensing under his shirt. But when you thought he will turn around and say something else, you were met with nothing but his retreating figure, followed by the loud slam of the door.

He was gone. And this time, the cycle was broken.

.

7 years later, after the war...

.

Fate is a funny thing.

Growing up, you thought you would never leave your home village, let alone wander across unknown lands and dipping your toes into unknown cultures. After all, with so much cruelty and bloodshed happening, why would you leave your safe home?

Unlike many others, your village flourished during the war - the fine weapons the locals produced were in a high demand and the orders for them came one after the other. Business boomed, and what had once been a quiet place untouched by the chaos of the outside world, suddenly became a hub of activity. And while the people tried to continue their lives as normal, it was a fact that the village was now a central player on the global chessboard.

The decision to leave such a place during a time of conflict was not an easy one - this was your home, the only security you had. But seeing the people you loved and cherished create weapons, used to further fuel the war happening beyond the village walls, has shifted something inside of you and the way you looked at the world. Maybe all this time, Sasuke was right, and you did indeed lived in your own pink bubble.

The times were unforgiving, the people as well. The Uchiha frequent visits did not go unnoticed by the locals, especially toward the end of your "relationship" when they were happening every few days. As expected, none of them was willing to show any sympathy toward him or you, for that matter. The reputation that preceded Sasuke has always been tainted by his past and soon that reputation threw its shadow onto you as well.

Within a few months after he left forever, you were no longer viewed with the same regard as you once had been. Whispers followed you in the streets, and eyes watched you with suspicion, but always behind your back. The once warm greetings were replaced with cold indifference, and the stall where you continued to sell your vegetables for a while turned from one of the most crowded places on the Sunday market into an abandoned wooden table covered with your fresh produce that nobody wanted.

It hurt. You were once a part of this community and some of the people felt like family. Like the baker Pow, who always made sure to add olive oil and some lemon juice to at least one of his breads, because he knew this was how you liked them. Or the shoemaker Nara, who always made the same model of shoes for your birthday since you were ten and at this point it was some sort of a joke between you two.

But now these people had cut you off, leaving you alone with nothing but memories of what it feels to belong to something. The people you had grown up with, shared meals with, confided in, had now become strangers.

Sasuke Uchiha shattered not only your heart, but your whole life.

And were left with no choice but to leave.

Ironically, that turned out one of the best things that ever happened to you. You met many people during your travels and picked up many different skills. Your knowledge about plants has landed you the opportunity to work under the supervision of well-known botanists, exposing you the real wonders of the world. Under their mentorship you grew as rapidly as a flower - you hungrily soaked knowledge and cultivated it, eager to one day have your name known alongside those experts who you looked up to.

New friendships were formed and new loves were experienced along the way. Life still had ups and downs, but you were more confident now, more resilient, and better equipped to handle whatever came your way. The future was full of surprises, ones that you often embraced with open arms. Every day was different and you were always eager to see what the next one would bring.

What you didn't expect, however, was for fate to meet you with the last Uchiha once again.

It happened when you least anticipated it, in the most ordinary of places. You traveled to a remote village to assist one of your mentors in delivering a lecture about herbs that can be used in medicine at the local academy. This was your life now: sharing your knowledge, working alongside brilliant minds and helping inspire young students to follow the same steps. And while you usually didn't pay attention to the faces in the crowd, too focused on delivering your presentation, the onyx eyes you used to love so much were impossible to miss.

Sasuke stood in the same corner throughout the whole session, not daring to approach you till the end, when it was only you and him left in the room.

"You are hard to find", he stated, the faintest ghost of a smile playing on his lips. He looked different - older, for sure, but also with calmer and more mature aura. He was dressed in all dark and his hair was longer, covering one of his eyes.

"But you still did", you stated blankly, turning your attention back to putting the jars of dried herbs in your bag.

"I've had to do my research."

The words hung between you, as he lingered behind you, silently watching you putting away your stuff. Just like him, you have changed. There was no trace of the fiery, yet insecure young farmer that had saved his life so many times years ago. Instead, now you stood proud and confident before him, a testament to all you’d endured and achieved since those days.

After a few minutes of silence, you finally turned around to face him.

"What are you doing here?"

His gaze held yours, his eyes softening just the tiniest bit as he followed the lines of your face. Gazing at the person he had dreamed about for so many years felt almost too good to be true ... and for a moment he needed to just take it in, make sure you were really there before him.

The man lifted his left arm to reach for his bag and this was the moment you noticed it was the only one he had. You tried not to stare, but your throat involuntarily stiffened at the sight. Sasuke Uchiha, the strongest man you've ever met, the inspiration that has inspired so many legends across the land, had suffered a loss just like many other during the war. Another reminded that he was just a human, like the rest of the world.

He must have noticed your staring, because the moment he pulled one of the books you co-written with another botanist, he adjusted his cloak and hid the front of his body from view.

"I've read your book", he placed the book on the desk between you. His eyes moved a few times between the cover and your face, trying to find the right words to express the storm of feelings that was brewing inside his chest after seeing you for so long. Funny how on the way here he thought about all the things he wanted to say if he actually find you, yet now he was now unable to mutter even a word more.

"Thank you?", you raised a brow, unsure how to respond.

Sasuke has always been a man of action rather than one of words. In the past, you learned how to read the smallest twitches and movements of his body in order to guess what he is thinking. But as you watched him now, all nervous and unable to hold your gaze for more than few seconds, you felt like you were looking at a stranger.

"I am sorry", his suddenly said and you felt your breath hitch. You blinked a few times in surprise, unsure if you had heard correctly.

He lifted his eyes to look at you, before clearing his throat:

"I am sorry I treated you the way I did. I am sorry I was so blinded by my anger and hate to actually listen to you. I am sorry I left", with each word you felt your chest getting tighter and heavier with all the emotions you had thought you buried long ago.

"The thing I am most sorry about is that I couldn't protect you... from me."

The wound you thought has healed a long time ago was wide open again and you had to grab the edge of the desk to keep yourself from collapsing before him. Never have you even hoped to see him again, let alone hear him apologize. It felt almost like a dream, and you had to blink a few times, just to make sure his appearance was not just a sick joke your mind has decided to play on you after a long day.

After waiting a few minutes for a response which never came, Sasuke let out a soft sigh, before making a few steps toward you. His fingers twitched, the need to reach out and touch you almost overwhelming, yet he held back.

"I am proud of you. You came far.."

The man offered you a small smile, one which you could not really return because of the state of shock you were still in. It all felt surreal, like a tsunami of unresolved feelings, memories and unsaid things hitting you all at once.

"You don't have to say anything", he said after noticing the struggle you faced in trying to convey your conflicted feelings into words, "I don't expect you to forgive me or to forget what I did to you. But I just... needed to see you. At least one last time."

He was just about to turn around, when your free hand reached for his arm and you wrapped your fingers around his wrist.

"Wait!"

He paused, turning his head to look at you. For a moment, you felt silly and vulnerable, unsure of why exactly did you stop him or what you should say to him.

"Don't go. Not yet. Just..."

Sasuke's expression shifted slightly and his features softened slightly as he gazed down at you. You could tell this was not the response he expected. Maybe deep down he hoped you were the same fiery person as before and that you would just throw a jar of dirt at his head for putting you through so much. Or that you would scream at him and just kick him out. Maybe that way it would be easier to actually cut the fragile thread of memories that still connected you. But you were not ready to do that yet.

"Would you help me pack the things back?", you nodded your head toward the bag of jars and pile of documents that were still sitting on the desk. As usual, your mentor decided to leave earlier, leaving all of the clearing up part to you.

"Maybe we can go to the local teahouse after. To catch up... for the old times' sake."

Your fingers withdrew from his arm and you took a step back, putting some distance between you. His one visible eye followed your figure and slowly he nodded his head.

Deep down you both knew that this may not be the best thing to do. You were both different people now, yet the memories of your shared time was bound to haunt both of you no matter how hard you tried to pretend it didn't happen. While you both grew and changed, he was not fully healed yet. And neither was you. You still had much to grow, to learn, to see.

Fate was indeed a funny thing. It intervened your paths before and for better or the worse, it was doing it again. And you couldn't really know if you should allow it, but who were you to get in its way? Perhaps this time it would be different. Or perhaps you would just go back in time, ending in the same position you found yourself seven years ago.

But as he stood next to you, silently organizing and packing the last few documents left on the desk, you knew you had to just allow life flow and embrace any change or challenge it threw in your way. Even if its name was Sasuke Uchiha.

cc artwork: Shan Yanan

[jweekgoji]

Will you write for some Yandere!Orion Pax x reader? 👉👈

Yandere!Orion Pax/Reader [TFO/hcs]

tw: yandere themes, gn!cybertronian!reader, very brief mention of murder/death, mostly soft!yandere!Orion, overprotective, dependent behavior. word count: ~1000. a/n: i love making headcanons.

Orion is an obsessive, clingy and overprotective yandere that's for sure.

Orion is focused on you 24/7 in his mind, every time he's going out with someone else, he will constantly think of you. He's not having a fixation on you, like D-16 would with his darling, more like a thoughtful «I wonder if they will like it if I give it to them» or «if I COULD transform, I would be carrying them around everywhere!». His thoughts are mostly innocent, even though they often lead him to cause even more trouble. He will seek out a thousand risky stunts to do just to impress you, and he doesn't really care if Darkwing will beat him up because of it.

It is no secret that Orion is clingy. I already described it in other posts, and I will rumble about it again, but that silly guy does NOT know how to keep his servos to himself. Yandere Orion just can't comprehend the fact that you may not like it. You can find it weird, rude or just not tactile, and if he finds out, that's a pure torture. At first, he might find it funny and not take it seriously, you're probably in that «edgy, no nonsense and independent» phase some bots have, so he finds it his own personal goal to warm you up to him.

If you're somehow still adamant about it, I can see him trying to restrain himself from just squishing you against his frame the second he sees you in the same room with him. Cogless tiny Orion will be a sweetheart, so he always finds a way to satisfy his own needs without crossing the line. One day it's a simple touch on your shoulder, then he will try to hold your servo if lucky, and maaaaybe even give you a tiny peck on the cheek as soon as you look away from him. Touch is his love language!

Yandere cogged Orion/Optimus is a huge sweetheart but when he's tired and emotionally drained, the only thing he wants is to wrap his arms around you and hold you close to himself. Stay like that and don't say a word, it's not like you have a chance to escape.

Orion doesn't look like a person who thinks about his own safety. You will watch him running around Iacon from another trouble he got himself into, and he will even drag D-16 with him. Even though in his mind, it's for a better cause, If you're really close and dear to him, he also wants you to be the part of this adventure because he desires the better future for everyone and for both of you specifically. Together.

As Orion, still young, idealistic and naive bot, I never see him taking away your freedom. If you wish to tag along with him on the race, even though it's the most dangerous thing ever, especially with both of you not having any t-cogs...he will gladly accept it! As yandere Orion always cares about your well-being, but it's never the boring «I will lock you up just so you will always be safe» type of overprotectiveness. He neglects his own well-being to the point where he will gladly lose an arm or a leg if it means protecting you, and he doesn't care that he might die because of it.

You should constantly remind him to check Ratchet at least for once, but he will jokingly dismiss it since he's more concerned about that tiny dent on your frame. How did you get it? Do you need him helping you to polish? Orion already drags you to medic, meanwhile he is standing there holding broken metal pieces of his own body and like “that's just a scratch!”.

We all saw how Orion got protective over Elita once she was fired by Darkwing. His first thoughts are "yeah, I will NOT let that slide" even though he is two times smaller than their supervisor. Orion is a fighter for justice, for his darling he's a true gentleman, or...tries to be at least.

He's not that type of yandere who will murder someone if they hurt you, because his own beliefs are strong and unclouded. Yes, in the heat of battle, when it's either your life or the life of the enemy, he will never hesitate to end them, but even then he feels guilty about it (especially if we talk about young Orion/Optimus). If he actually ends up hurting someone, he will be devastated, and might as well take a long time to process it all.

How did it happen? How could he let this happen? He fights for freedom, for everyone, no matter if they're enemy or not, they all deserve at least a one chance for redemption. There will be a time when Orion blames himself for it, it corrupts his spark slowly, to the point where he thinks of himself as unworthy of you.

As much as Orion is an inspiring, he's self-conscious. The more not-so-happy events you go through together, the more he becomes dependent on you. You're a part of Orion's life, he can't shine brightly without his little satellite.

Yandere!Orion would constantly need you by his side. It doesn't matter where he is going, as long as he is with you. During his lowest moments, he wants you to reassure him and give him that comfort that will keep him at bay. He didn't mean to hurt anyone, but that worry and spark of rage blinded him, leaving his own servos dirty in the stranger's energon.

Young Orion is one of the softest yanderes to deal with. He still has to learn a lot about his own place in this world, his motivation, and his strength. Everything felt so easy when you were just two cogless bots, but the more time passes, the harder it is to deal with more complex feelings. Jealousy, disappointment, and regret. At the end of the day, you're the only person to keep him sane and not to collapse from the responsibilities on his shoulders. The problem is, it is too hard to get rid of that dependence.

[tmrwsuns]

xikers when you ask to tie a ribbon around their biceps

ᯓ the moment you even begin to suggest the thought of tying a ribbon around his bicep. minjae he has already agreed. his goal in life is making you happy, and (even more importantly) he loves to see how much you adore his body. he puts a lot of  work into it a (maybe solely for that reason), so whenever you make a praising comment towards the results he can’t help but feel a pang of pride go through his chest. he saw in this situation the perfect combination of your happiness and his ego inflating, and he wasn’t going to let that go. once you both agreed he makes it his priority to pick up a ribbon at the craft store the day after, eager to try out the trend you had suggested. when it finally happened, he smiled proudly as he listened to you gush about how his bicep looked flexed only for you. 

“hey jae?” you spoke softly, looking up from your phone. minjae sat on his desk, headphones partly on as he produced new music for the group. his attention immediately went to you, turning on his chair and smiling gently at you with a questioning look. “what do you think about doing this trend?” you asked, showing him your phone where the video replayed, a flexing arm with a ribbon around it being reflected on the screen. “we can do it if you want” he smiled. you had this effect on him ever since he met you where he couldn’t say no to anything you wanted from him, and that was a big factor to his answer. however, the pride he felt for the fact that you wanted him to flex for you was even a little more of an incentive. with a small squeal of emotion, you agreed that you would do it the next day, leaving minjae looking forward to it as he turned around and continued on with his task. once the next day finally arrived, minjae found himself sitting on his bed, arm flexed as you wrapped the pretty pink ribbon on it. you had an unwavering smile as you tied it in a bow looking proudly at your job, cheeks slightly tinted at the sight. “what do you think, baby? do you like it?” minjae asked, a smile evident in his voice. “of course i do, you’re arms are hot” you answered, looking up at him through your lashes. his smile widened at your words and he grew a little closer to you, eyes scanning your face and stopping at your lips. “and all yours, too” he said, voice low as he looked back into your eyes.  “is that so?” you asked as you grew closer, eyeing his lips for a couple seconds in return. “it is” he answered before leaning in to capture your lips in a kiss. you were so down bad.

ᯓlet’s be real, no one could even try to blame you for immediately thinking of junmin when the trend popped out in your for you page. you had a boyfriend with perfect arms and there was absolutely no reason not to take advantage of that. when you told junmin about it, he hesitated at first. don’t get him wrong, of course he liked it when you fawned over his body, specially his toned arms; but the thought of you maybe posting it made him feel a little flustered. of course, you told him he didn’t have to do it, but the slight disappointment in your eyes obliterated any thought of saying no to you any further. you jumped in happiness at his answer, wasting no time to go on.

“you know, i saw this trend in the morning that made me think of you” you commented as you sat around his room, simply spending some quality time together between your busy lives.  junmin arched an eyebrow in curiosity “yeah? what was it?” you smiled and muttered a little “ill show you” before pulling up the video, facing your phone screen towards him with a smile, your eyes focused on his reaction. “will you let me do that to you?” you questioned, and he immediately felt his heart skip a beat and his ears begin to heat up.  “why?” he almost stuttered, causing you to laugh softly. “you have such pretty arms and i want to brag about them” you answered, your lips curling upwards at his response. however, you noticed the slight uncomfortability on his face, which made you immediately speak again “its okay if you don’t want to, though, don’t worry about it” the rapid way you were speaking made junmin smile softly, admiring how you always seeked for him to be comfortable even if that meant him saying no to something you wanted. “ill do it” he interrupted you, making your eyes light up again. “are you really okay with it?” you asked once again, letting out an excited hum as he nodded. you went straight for your backpack without another word, grabbing the ribbon you oh so conveniently had packed and going back to your previous position. you waited until junmin flexed, your eyes focusing on the way his muscles strained and bulged on his toned arm, letting a few seconds pass by before snapping back into thought and moving to tie the fabric around his bicep. once it was done, you stared again, causing junmin (who was looking at your face throughout the entire exchange) to smile softly. his initial embarrassment had banished, now being replaced with a surge of confidence from the way you looked at him. “people are gonna be soooo jealous” you smiled and looked up at his eyes, earning a chuckle to come out of his lips as he shook his head at your antics. “sure, baby, whatever you say” he hummed.

ᯓ the moment you told sumin about your intentions when you appeared holding the pink ribbon in your hands, he groaned like you had just said the most ridiculous thing that had ever come out of your mouth. he was used to your delusional suggestions, and to be completely honest he didn’t mind them even a little bit. but he would never tell you that, of course. you both knew knew he would say yes eventually since he couldn’t say no to you, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t make you beg a little before. so that’s exactly what you did, enjoying watching you exaggerate how much you just loved his arms until he agreed, acting all defeated as if he didn’t love the idea.

the universe was definitely trying to tell you something. multiple videos of the ribbon trend had popped on your feed, which you constantly attempted to ignore in order to not create thoughts in your head. yet you understood you just had to when an edit of your own boyfriend appeared just under one of them. the way he flexed his arms on your screen made your brain (and body) tingle with feelings only sumin ever made you feel, so you gave into what the universe clearly wanted. you rummaged through your drawers before heading to your boyfriend's studio, finding him focused on the painting he had been working on for so long. sumin heard you come in and turned around, smiling at your presence and puckering his lips as his way to ask for a greeting kiss. “whats up, babe?” he asked once he got what he wanted, watching how a mischievous smile took place on your face as you held up the ribbon. “let me tie this on your arm? its for a tiktok trend” you asked, smile never faltering as he groaned. “why am i always the victim, were the hello kitty tattoos not enough for you?” he asked as he jokingly glared at you. he knew he would let you do absolutely anything you wanted with him, but that wouldn’t stop him from making you beg. “sumin, pleaseeee. i was watching the trend and then i saw this video of you and you have such pretty arms that they deserved to be shown off by your girlfriend that you love sooo much” you pressed, conjuring your best puppy dog eyes. your boyfriend sighed as he looked at you, turning around to get a rag and clean his hands from all the paint. “you know i can’t say no to you, don’t you?” he smiled, causing you to celebrate and pull out your phone. he proceeded to comply with everything you wanted him to do, watching you with a fond smile as you giggled at his toned arms. “i love you” you said once the video was taken, a smile on your lips as you watched his amused smile. “i love you more” sumin answered, stealing a quick peck from your lips before urging you to show him the video.

ᯓ look, jinsik is a complete sweetheart. he is soft hearted and can get a little shy whenever you show interest in his body majority of the time. still, he knows he’s fine and he loves that. he loves to see you fangirl over him and is completely conscious of how obsessed you are with him and his body, so he was not surprised at all when you told him what you wanted to do. he agreed fast, not having it in him deny because one, he couldn’t bear saying no to you; and two, why would he waste the opportunity to tease you when it was right there? the flush on his cheeks and rapidly beating heart had never stopped him from making you flustered, and they wasn’t going to start now.

“love?” you called out for jinsik’s attention. he was currently sprawled out on the floor of your bedroom, mindlessly scrolling through his phone as you laid on your bed. he let out a hum of acknowledgment as he put his phone down on his chest, his eyes travelling towards where your head peaked from above the mattress. “would you let me tie a ribbon on your bicep?” you asked, causing him to frown in confusion at the strange request.  “i mean, sure, but what for?” he watched as you looked for your phone on the bed, pulling up the video and giving it for him to watch. you looked for his reaction as he watched it, trying to decipher his stoic expression. “pretty please?” you chimed in, giving him a small smile. jinsik smiled automatically as he watched you, weighing his options in his head. he could either say no because of the slight embarrassment he felt at thinking that you would post that for the public to see or he could agree and spend a few minutes of his day with his girlfriend gushing about his arms while she ties pretty ribbons around them. there was a pretty obvious choice this time. “sure, pretty, let’s do it” you smiled triumphantly and leaped off from your mattress, going straight for a drawer where you were sure you could find some ribbon to carry out your assignment. jinsik smiled at the soft “aha!” that left your lips as you found a roll of the material, sitting up from his position on the floor and looking at you expectantly. you took a seat by his side and waited for him to flex his arm, smile widening impossibly much when he did. wordlessly, you tied the ribbon around his bicep before picking up your phone. “so pretty” you mumbled as you recorded and took a couple pictures, entirely too focused to notice the way he was smirking while looking at you, his heart almost beating out of his chest at the way you looked at him.

ᯓ as we all know and love, hyunwoo is a little shit (affectionately.) he loves being smug whenever you express your love/desire for him in any way, shape or form because that’s his way of coping with how much it affects him to have you outwardly gush about him. he ignores the pounding of his heart and the way his ears are heating up and acts out to make you feel like that instead; so when you told him about wanting to do that trend with him he took it as the perfect opportunity to tease the living shit out of you. of course, he agreed, but just because it gave him a perfect excuse to make you flustered. (definitely not because his ego grew about three sizes.)

“hyunwoo” you called out, attempting to grab his attention from the videogame he played on his computer. nothing. “hyunwoo” you spoke a bit louder. nothing. you knew he was doing it on purpose. he always left one of his ears uncovered when he gamed if you were around as his own little way to show you that he was still listening and paying attention to you. you sighed as you noticed why he wasn’t answering “babe?”  “yes, doll” he turned around on his chair, a smug smile on his lips as you rolled your eyes.  “would you do this tiktok trend with me?” you asked as you looked at him, your previously “annoyed” expression erased by the sight of your boyfriend's pretty smile. “depends, which one?” you looked for the video and pointed the screen at him, watching his reaction as the video played. “why would you want to do that?” he questioned, a hint of a smirk on his lips. “you have hot arms” you shrugged, attempting to maintain your cool and not give him what he wanted. hyunwoo raised his eyebrows at your response, taking out his headphones and rolling his chair towards you, now closer to your body. “do i? you’ve never said so before” he teased, making you groan. “never mind, i dont want to do it anymore” you stuck your tongue out to him, causing him to chuckle. “it’s okay, babe, i get it. i would want to show my super hot arms too” he smiled as he jokingly flexed. “we can do it, come on” you smiled amused at his antics, standing up to find the ribbon you carried in your bag for your hair. once you had it you walked back to his chair, waiting for him to flex his arm so you could tie it around him and get the pictures you wanted. “i'm just irresistible, aren’t i?” hyunwoo gloated as he watched you. “and only yours, isn't that crazy?” he loved the way your cheeks tinted as you glared at him, sending his heart on to its own frenzy because he couldn’t even fathom how insanely beautiful his girlfriend was. he wouldn’t tell you that right now, though.

ᯓ junghoon is so incredibly unbothered that you had no idea of what he would answer when you asked him to let you do the trend with him. don’t get me wrong, when it comes to you he is anything but uninterested. you are everything to him and he would do anything you asked him to, even if he wasn’t particularly fond of the idea. that was what scared you, you didn’t want to push him to do anything he didn’t like, so you approached him with a bit of more shyness than he usually would. surprisingly, he was very on board with the idea. he liked the idea of you liking his body enough to think of him when you watched that trend, and he was more than happy to participate in it.

“hoonie?” you called out softly as you looked up from your phone, looking at your boyfriend who laid next to you as he read. he looked up from his book and tilted his head in question, making your heart melt into a puddle because of how much he had resembled a cat just then. “have you ever seen that trend where they tie a ribbon around their partner's bicep?” “i think i have, hyunwoo did it with his girlfriend i think” he nodded, the book he was reading now completely discarded as he gave you his full, undivided attention. “why?” “uhm, i kinda wanted to try it out with you” you explained, struggling a little to maintain the eye contact he so diligently held. “sure, do you have any ribbon?” he asked, agreeing as if it was nothing. you were a little surprised at how quickly he had complied, your heart melting even more than it already had. “i think i do, let me check” you smiled and hopped off the bed, not before leaving a sweet kiss on his cheek that left him smiling softly. junghoon watched you move around your room, rummaging through your drawers until you found the roll of ribbon you knew you had. you approached him with a big smile, waiting for him to sit up and flex his arm for you. once he did, you couldn’t help but giggle like a flustered little girl, watching your handsome boyfriend flexing his arm just for you.  junghoon watched you tie the ribbon around his muscle with a soft smile on his lips, waiting for you to do whatever you wanted to. “you’re adorable, did you know?”  his voice made your eyes travel back to his, light tinting on your cheeks. “yeah?” “yeah” he answered your question before laying back down and opening his arms towards you, his smile never faltering.

ᯓ a little shit (affectionately) pt 2. seeun absolutely adores making you flustered, he lives for it if you will. the capacity he has to make you get shy is outstanding, even when most of the times his insane confidence played into making you annoyed rather than flustered. you have a very playful relationship between you, which consisted in humbling each other most of the time, reserving the praises and affectionate words for special moments.  when you approached seeun with the idea of doing this trend he just knew this was his chance to get you to admit he was the most handsomest man alive (which you had no doubt about, you just liked humbling him.) so he made it his goal to hear those exact words come out of your mouth, even if he achieved it through annoyance.

you had been thinking about asking seeun to do that trend with you for a while now. naturally, when you had seen it for the first time you knew that you had to do it with your boyfriend or it would be a waste of his efforts at the gym. the only issue was that it wasn’t easy to ask seeun to do these kind of things. he had the tendency to tease you about the littlest things and you asking him to do something with his biceps was basically asking to be driven insane. nevertheless, your love for your boyfriends arms was stronger than his annoyance could ever be, so you asked him. “can we do this?” you asked as the video had conveniently popped on your screen. you were laying on the bed, your head resting on his arm as you watched your saved tiktok videos, a little ritual you had started doing when you were bored. “aww, you want to coquettify my muscles?” he cooed, a teasing tone present in his voice as he looked at you with a sly smile. “it sounds gross when you say it like that” you wrinkled your nose at his words. “but i just really wanted to do that trend and i couldn’t think of anyone else to do it with”  “of course you couldn’t, because you’re so incredibly in love with me and my hot body” he pressed further, incorporating his body onto his arms so he could look at you better. the sheer beauty of your face would never seize to amaze him, but that’s a topic for later. “sure, whatever. now, will you do it or not?” you tried to hide your smile, clearly enjoying the lighthearted nature of your banter. “i will if you admit I'm the most handsomest man alive” his words made your eyes roll and a groan escaped your lips. “i should’ve known you would act like this, so annoying” you teased back, acting as if you were to move on and look at your phone again. “don’t be like that, come on, let’s do it” he nudged you, eliciting a smile from your lips. you sat up and kissed his cheek rapidly before grabbing the ribbon you had brought in your bag and sitting in front of him. you waved at him to hurry, smiling about the opportunity. seeun rolled his sleeve and flexed his arm, allowing you to tie the piece of fabric on his bicep. you grabbed your phone to snap a couple of pictures, smile unwavering. “you’re the most handsomest man alive, seeun” you looked back into his eyes, just in time to watch him erupt into a cheer, causing you to laugh loudly.

ᯓ it’s no secret to anyone that yujun melts to putty in your hands. he loves making you happy, and that leads him to be the object of your silly little desires more often than not. he absolutely adores the fact that he is who you think of first when it comes to things like these, so the moment you tell him you want to do it he has already agreed. he is so happy and excited about it that he makes it into a full blown date to go find some ribbon you both liked, leading to a long walk to the craft store full of smiles and silly stories about his day. despite his cutie patootie nature, he can’t deny he is a gym rat through and through. he is proud of his body, he enjoys working towards his good shape and loves to see the results of all of his hard work. so when his pretty pretty girl also allows herself to fawn about his beauty outside of his cute demeanor? he could have a heart attack.

“yujunnie?” you called, earning a hum of acknowledgement from the boy. “have you seen the trend where they tie ribbons on guys' arms?” you asked as you laid next to him on your bed, his arm lazily draped over your middle as he rested his eyes, completely relaxed in your company. “i have, why?” he speaks, opening his eyes to be able to see your face, one of his beautiful smiles immediately taking place on his lips as his eyes found yours. “would you be okay with doing that? you have such pretty arms” you asked, voice relaxed as you caressed the arm around you, the sleeveless shirt he wore allowing you to see the entirety of his toned limb.  yujun couldn’t help but smile as you spoke, finding it adorable how you did little to hide your adoration for his body. “of course, we can walk to the craft store to get some later” he smiled “not right now though, im too comfy” he muttered and brought you back tighter to his chest, eliciting a cute giggle to come out of your pretty lips.  “sure, prince, whenever you want” you smiled and cuddled further onto his chest, relaxing as you took in his scent. hours passed before you finally went to the store, taking the long way there as you walked hand in hand with your boyfriend. your laughs could probably be heard from the other side of town as you listened to his stories about practice; bashing on his teammates bad habits as he quickly skipped past his own, making you roll your eyes in amusement. once you finally got home with a few strands of different color ribbons, you sat back on your bed. yujun flexed his arm for you like you had instructed, watching the way you ogled at them with a sly smile. “see? i told you so much time in the gym would pay off” he teased as you finished tying the ribbon, causing you to roll your eyes. “i never said it didn’t” you answered, grabbing your phone to take pictures as well as to record the video you wanted. “i forget sometimes, though” “what?” yujun couldn’t keep your eyes off of you for a second, too enamored by the sight of your pretty face to even consider looking away. “that you’re ripped, you’re so squishy” you smiled, taking your hands to his cheeks and squishing lightly. he chuckled at your action, taking your hand in his to bring it to his lips and kiss your palm. “i’ll have to remind you more often, then”  “keep going with the sleeveless shirts and I won't forget for a second.” you laughed, stealing a quick peck from his lips. “i knew the plan was working” he muttered all smiley before joining your lips again.

ᯓ let’s be completely real for a second. there was absolutely no way that this trend could exist without you dragging your boyfriend into it. you know it, his members know it, he knows it. in complete honestly, hunter was waiting for you to ask him if you could do that trend for a while now, knowing that you wanted to by the amount of times he had seen one of those videos play on your screen while you mindlessly scrolled. he wasn’t going to bring it up, but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t hint at the fact that he would be more than happy to partake in the video if that’s what you wanted. with that said, when you asked him if you could do it, he agreed immediately and with no objections. he tried hard to contain his smile and not show you just how much he had been waiting for you to ask, but he could never keep a secret from you.

you were sitting down on hunter's lap as you laid on the couch, watching tiktok on your phone in hopes to cure the boredom of a rainy day when a video of the trend appeared on your screen. hunter smiled as he waited for you to speak, knowing that you couldn’t see him because of the position you found yourselves in.  “i always wanted to do that with you, you know” you mumbled, letting the video play. “really now?” he mumbled, doing his best to contain the humor in his voice. you shifted on his lap, looking at him with a soft smile. “yeah, can we?” you asked, doing puppy dog eyes like he didn’t immediately say yes to anything you ever asked for. “of course, princess. i think i have ribbon on one of the drawers” he smiled and kissed your forehead. what he didn’t say though, is that he had bought it the first time he had seen you look at the trend, knowing you well enough to know that the question would be asked eventually. you let out a small “yay” before climbing away from him to rummage through his drawers, looking for the ribbon until you found the small pink roll of it. you went back to your prior place one you had cut a long strand of it, waiting for hunter to flex his arm so you could get to work. once it was done you couldn't contain the small squeal at the sight of your boyfriend’s arm with the bow around it. hunter chuckled as he watched you take pictures and the video, enveloping you in his arms again when you were done. “wait… why do you have ribbon just laying around?” you asked curiously after a couple moments of silence. “let’s just say i know you well enough” he chuckled, making you smile and cuddle further into his body. 

ᯓ oh, yechan had been waiting for this one. the truth was that he had seen these videos before you had and he really really wanted to do it. he had even begun exercising his arms more often so he would be in his prime when the moment came. the only issue is that you didn’t seem to want to, because it had been weeks and you had not asked him nor even hinted at wanting to do it. spoiler alert, you whole heartedly did, you were just too shy to bring the idea up to him because you thought he would laugh at your face at the mere mention of it. so imagine your surprise when he was the one to bring it up, more as a whine than an actual proposal to do a simple little tiktok trend.

yechan had noticed that the trend had been spreading like the plague throughout the group. the way all the boys were flexing (see what i did there) about the videos their respective girlfriends had posted was driving him a little insane at this point, because he hadn’t been asked yet. he knew it was not an issue with his body, of course. he had worked his ass off to get to where he was today, and he deserved to have a pretty, girlie little ribbon tied to his bicep too, but it seemed like you didn’t think so; and he had had enough. you were sitting on your respective chairs in front of his monitor (yes, he got you a chair too), playing videogames as you normally did when you were bored. you were seconds away from winning when the screen froze, indicating that yechan had paused it and eliciting a whine from your lips. you turned to face him, about to complain about him being an absolute baby before being interrupted by him voicing his own complaints. “i think i have great arms, you know?” he spoke, causing you to frown in confusion.  “what?” you questioned, moving his chair as well so he could face you completely. “i have great arms, i work out a lot” he pressed, his eyebrows creased with what seemed like annoyance. “i know you do, babe” you answered, watching his face full of frustration, so very confused. “then why haven’t you asked me to do that stupid trend?” he asked, and then it clicked on your head. “the ribbon one?” you asked, your confusion slowly morphing into a slight smile. “yes! i’ve been waiting for you to ask and you haven’t and i don’t get why” he frowned, and you almost cooed at how incredibly adorable he looked. you stood up wordlessly, going towards your bag as yechan looked at you intently. were you really walking away from him right now?  his concerns dissipated as you sat back down, a long piece of ribbon in your hands. “i’ve been meaning to ask you, but i was too embarrassed” you explained, your smile a little shy, “i thought you thought it was dumb, by the way you talked about the other videos” yechan’s facial features relaxed immediately, overtaken by sheer softness. “i would never think anything you want to do is dumb, baby” he smiled, grabbing your face as he caressed your cheeks. “cute, will you let me do it now?” you smiled and kissed the palm of his hand before moving away, waiting for him to get into position. he rolled up his sleeve and flexed his arm, causing your smile to widen as you began tying the ribbon around his toned arms. when you were taking the pictures, inwardly giggling because of how good he looked, you realized something. “have you been working out more?” yechan’s face tinted a light red at your question, but he nodded sheepishly nonetheless. “maybe.. i wanted to look good on the video”  his words made you laugh, shaking your head as you moved forward to cradle his face, peppering kisses all over it “how cute.”

★ pairing ;; ot10 x reader

★ authors note ;; i took so incredibly long to write this its not even funny. anyways this is for my two pookies ILY.

★ taglist ;; @tiramisumin @astrasng

★ back to the (temporary) masterlist.

★ please do not copy, adapt or steal any of the content !!!

[starry-bi-sky]

haha tags have a 140 character count and a max 30 tag limit, not that i would know anything about reaching max of that....

whole ass fucking backstory is PHENOMENAL-

TY!!!! If you want I gave that whole backstory its own post which, there's nothing NEW to the post other than I gave the rogue cultivator that adopted Xin Yuan a name -- Lin Kai -- and i gave XY a childhood best friend, Liu Zhihao, who I shamelessly based off Liu Qingge. Are they ancestors?? Perhaps. They certainly share a resemblance, not that SY will know since this world's Liu Qingge has passed already.

Altho it'd be so very fun in the tragic sense if SY saw Liu Mingyan and has to do SUCH a sharp doubletake because regardless of the veil concealing half her face, the half he CAN see reminds him so sharply of his dear Xiao Zhi that its like he was slapped in the face. And yk he's purposely avoided thinking about the family he left behind for the last,,, thousand years or so,,,, so he's very rapidly overwhelmed with a bittersweet sense of grief.

LBH talks to LMY for some reason or another and is so surprised when, for the first time ever, Xin Mo isn't roiling in seething jealousy. He's not sulking, or pouting, or emanating discomfort. He's uncharacteristically calm, and if LBH searches, he can catch passing glimpses of grief?? Xin Mo refuses to comment when LBH asks him about it.

(TL:DR; Xin Yuan and Liu Zhihao promised to ascend together prior to Xin Yuan getting sworded, and traveled together constantly when they were adults. LZH was XY's best friend.)

Anyways-- the Shang Qinghua and Xin Mo friendship is probably one of my favorite ideas for this au specifically because neither of them are willing to provide context?? About why they're all of a sudden friends now?? Whenever LBH is in the northern empire, Xin Mo is either sheathed at his hip, or off bothering SQH for reasons unforetold.

Shen Yuan is sprawled across one of the chairs in SQH's provided Spy Office either bitching about some dumb wifeplot they came across, bothering SQH about what Cang Qiong Mountain sect is like -- bc cmon he's SO curious about it, and he wants to know about the peak lords before they're all slaughtered in binghe's quest for revenge, OR they're complaining about their systems or about missing modern amenities. Albeit Xin Mo's memory is probably much fuzzier than SQH's in that regard since he's centuries old.

"Oh yeah I forgot about that" is a bit of a common phrase. Shang Qinghua is probably the first person -- outside of Binghe, although its up in the air whether or not Xin Mo would be that willingly emotionally honest about his past -- to know that Xin Mo was once Xin Yuan. Of which SQH inelegantly goes "WHAT?!"

Add a new conversation topic: SQH bugging SY about what his world was like a thousand years ago and verifying which epic about Xin Yuan is real and which is blown out of proportion nonsense. It's like pulling teeth though, Xin Mo would like to Ignore His Past ty. He is an epic demonic sword now, epic demonic swords don't have families or friends or lost loved ones.

It's actually not that well known that Xin Mo has cultivated a human form I think. Nothing more than a rumor, actually. Xin Mo doesn't take human form unless he's certain that the area they're in is secure. He knows that Binghe can handle himself very well on his own, but still -- it makes him twitchy.

Binghe has to coax Xin Mo out of the sword at every lord's house they take sanctuary in, and at every camp they set up in. It's a coin toss whether or not he's successful, and depends on a ton of different variables. Wifeplots, Binghe's physical state, the terrain, etc. Once Binghe takes over the underground palace, Xin Mo starts to make more physical appearances.

Once they reach the mortal realm is a new ballpark though. Xin Mo has a huge demonic presence that's easier to suppress as a sword -- but as a human? That's a different story. It's probably where Xin Mo finally reveals that he can take in spiritual qi, he just never mentioned it before because it wasn't relevant. Also, his spiritual meridians were in far worse shape than the demonic ones. The equivalent of atrophied muscles from a thousand years of disuse.

I'll need some time to figure out how that works, but eventually Xin Mo is able to cultivate enough spiritual energy to, for lack of better words, switch forms. He can't go by Xin Mo in either human or sword form since that'll certainly raise a few eyebrows, so he tells Binghe to refer to him as Sha Yuan.

Also, Binghe takes one step into the human realm when Xin Mo quite literally throws himself out of the sword and collapses onto the ground. LBH is alarmed for all of thirty seconds, before Xin Mo says "I haven't seen the sun in a thousand years" in this breathy, astonished voice, like he doesn't mean to say it out loud. His fingers are kneading the grass, and he's pressing back into the ground like he's trying to sink into the dirt.

Luo Binghe lets him stay like that for as long as he'd like.

Svsss au where Shen Yuan transmigrated as Xin Mo. Yes, that Xin Mo. Obviously Shen Yuan is pissed at this development and tried to kick up a storm but can't because sword so he is stuck waiting for Luo Binghe to show up.

After dealing with the occasional demon and mindless boredom of being just a sword, Binghe shows up. Shen Yuan is just ready to throw himself at him so they can finally get out of the abyss and the rest of the plot to happen. Binghe is surprised to learn the super powerful sword that can rip through time and space is a chill dude that wants Shen Qingqiu's castration a little too much.

Eventually through the power of the system, Soul Eater logic, or straight up complaining to God himself (sqh), Shen Yuan gets the ability to transform into a humanoid form and Luo Binghe officially needs him carnally. Shen Yuan is so happy to have hands again that he totally missed how Binghe was looking at him.

Rest the au goes on with Shen Yuan pushing Binghe to get the plot going, trying to get him to get his empire, revenge, and wives as Binghe is trying to figure out swordception.

[somewhere-at-the-burrow]

i would LOVE to hear you talk about music in your dr, music, art, writing/poetry, etc, is one of THE main reasons i'm shifting, and i never see anyone talk about it

I also never see anyone talking about this, and it is such a big part of shifting that I have grown to love so much :,) music and media really holds us together, no matter where we are! here is my best explanation of the music in my weasley reality!

𝒲izarding ℳusic !

TO START, I have noticed that the music and the bands that are popular have a lot of scattered influence from many eras and genres. it is still popular to hear songs on the WWN with lots of classic jazz influence, and then the next song will be a witchy synth anthem inspired by muggle technology and the pop culture of the 80s--- THE RANGE IS CRAZY!

for example: in my Weasley reality, Celestina Warbeck is arguably the most popular and well listened to musician of the century, and she really paved the way for wizarding artists changing their styles and taking influence from muggle music. she had many different eras, ranging from jazz to pop to surprisingly.. witchy rock!

even in her old age (I think she is around 80 years old?), she has still released singles that push different styles and experiment with the ever changing world of music. although, some people really dislike her music simply because it is played so much.

(I remember once I was talking to my mom about her when we saw a live Celestina rendition at the Harry Potter theme park, and my mom said she sounded like the wizarding world version of Taylor Swift. IT IS SO TRUE THOUGH, because she even has a dedicated fanbase that call themselves the Banshees. crazy!)

Another very cool thing about music in the wizarding world is charmed music.

as in this reality, music has evident "energy" that can make you feel a whole range of emotions... but for musicians with magic, that can take on a whole different meaning! it is almost like subliminal messaging, but songs can be "enchanted" with spells through lyrics or have sounds and choruses that are intended to put you in a trance.

this is really common with wizarding party music! I mentioned it in another post, but one of my all time favorite songs is "Man of Midnight" by Celestina Warbeck... the song is known for being bewitching, even if it does not sound fully like a "party song". I have no idea how to describe it, but when I listen to the song I feel like the most powerful person alive? I always tell Fred that it is a siren song.. and that is honestly the closest I can describe it. He just says it makes him alive with motivation and that is why we listen to it at least once when we do work together !

Another form of charmed music is sports chants. a common theme with these chants is their appearance throughout wizarding history, often carrying ancient and intense emotion within their words.

I have only experienced this one time, and it was at the League Cup (Kestrels V Harpies). When the Kestrels were ahead, one of the Irish bands that played in the fairgrounds started singing an old Irish song that originated from the game of Aingingein. even though the game is not played anymore, everyone knows the song. it is almost like a representation of Irish pride?

so when the whole charged up crowd started chanting, it felt like there was ancient and intense game spirit coursing through the stadium. I wasn't even rooting for the Kestrels, but damn I felt like standing on my seat and declaring that I would die for Ireland or something 😭 i've never in my ENTIRE life felt so spiritual about the opposing team, and within a minute of the stadium chanting!

Something else I find very very cool about wizarding music in my desired reality is how music is distributed.

they regularly use common things like vinyls and the radio, and magical concerts happen very often.. but something I didn't expect were lyrical signatures.

these are a weird invention. as the name suggests, these musical souvenirs are similar to a signature of pages in a book... however, they are also very similar to singing birthday cards.

many wizarding bands will sell these mini booklets that showcase a song (or songs) on their pages, and when you open the booklet or flip to a certain page, the song will play. it is seriously the most genius thing ever!

many of these booklets are formatted like a CD, with the album cover being on the front, the first page talking about the album and the band accomplishments of the year, and the next pages each showcasing songs from the collection. it is also very common to have the lyrics on the left side, with song information and sometimes a themed image on the right side.

I had NO idea these would be so popular in my DR. they are given as gifts, mailed to relatives and friends who may not have access to them around the world, and even collected! it is seriously like the wizarding CD. Bill has this epic collection of signatures that he has alphabetized and organized by genre, and he even had a custom box with slots to store them. he's the coolest brother!!

this form of music is so fun.. you can just open up to the song you like and place it open on table, or you can charm it to flip from beginning to end to enjoy the whole album. definitely the most unexpected yet coolest thing that I have discovered while shifting!!

i'll probably make a pt. 2 of my favorite magical bands and musicians, as I have so much I could say and I think they deserve their own section! thank you if you have read this far, and I really appreciate how kind you all were in my absence :,)

good luck shifting everyone!!

[woodswallow]

RammWear Part II

Thank you guys so much for appreciating my first RammWear fashion-post , I was so happy about your likes and comments :) So here comes the second part where I am showing my Rammstein-inspired clothing style, inspired by the stuff Paul, Richard and Schneider wear on and off stage:

The cardigan(s): All three of them at one point wore a very loosely fitting, longer knitted jacket (or pullover), I put it all in the category „cardigan“. I absolutely loooved that look of Schneider and Paul during the „Rammstein in Paris“- premiere!

Especially Schneiders look is so good here – I especially liked the asymmetric look of the shirt and the length of the cardigan, reaching down to his knees.

Paul loved that cardigan obviously very much, he wore it on several occasions throughout different years, also in this photoshoot (such a great pic, had to involve that!)

Richard also sported that look (kind of), although I think it's something like a scarf draped over his shoulder..? And the second picture is a shirt, but it conveys the same oversized, comfy look – his self-hugging pose adds to that, I think..

I never wore cardigans or this type of loose knitted jackets before, more like sweatshirt hoodies. But I really fell in love with these comfy, oversized, cuddly jackets in fall and winter, especially when combined with a black leggins or tight jeans. I was so happy when I found the perfect black „Schneider-Richard-Paul-cardigan“ secondhand:

Because I loved the look and feel so much, I later bought another incredibly comfortable cardigan via etsy. It has some more colour in it, which I like very much. It's draped over the body and hold in place with two hidden buttons, which gives it a very organic look. It's not that close to the ot3 look anymore, but I still had it in mind while buying – and it really formed my personal style, I adore this piece :)

In both occasions you already saw my Paul-scarf, Schneider wore one with a similar colour

Paul wore this scarf also on the „Paris“-premiere and on some other occasions. It once again looks so cosy and comfortable and good on him. It also appeared in one of my fanfics and at least one other I can now think of. This scarf somehow is so „Paul-like“ in my mind. I bought mine on a medieval market, without having his in my mind (at least not consciously), because I liked that fabric and colour – and later thought how similar it looked to Paul's and was so happy about it :) I like wearing it in fall and winter, I rarely go out without a scarf in these times of the year, so I wear it quite often.

My latest addition to my little Rammstein-inspired clothes collection is a Paul-pullover (man, I love alliterations :D)!

I think he wore this during a video shoot (was it the one for Ausländer?) and once again, I really liked the cosy look, slightly oversized, kind of organic looking and with these long sleeves covering the hands. Also I like that sandy-beige colour.

I searched for a matching piece all over Vinted (a german website for secondhand clothing) and found a (as I think) perfect match a few weeks later. As I have absolutely no white shirts in my closet I also bought a white shirt secondhand for 2€ to match the look perfectly :D This makes perfect sense as the pullover itself it quite loose, so to not get a cold stomach I had to wear something underneath – I'm pretty sure that was Paul's intention, too ^^; I'm so glad I found such a good match. When wearing it I think of these nice pictures and that he wore a similar one and can't help but feel happy about it :)

Last but not least – the omnipresent leather-jacket :D

Apart from the colour black, all three can agree on wearing these type of jackets. I found so many pictures with so many damn cool ones... this is just the perfect casual rockstar look! :)

I admit, when buying my jacket I didn't really think of RammWear, but it fits this series so nicely that I included it here. I had a gift card for that one shop and decided to treat myself with this, as I think it's a damn fine leather jacket – the hoody is part of the jacket and can be taken off, together with that sweatshirt-inlay. But I love this casual-cool-sporty look so much :)

I realized that overall, I probably like Pauls style the most, he likes comfortable, but still good looking clothes. Followed by Schneider, who seems to like a more sporty and casual style than Paul, with more sweatshirt-fabric-clothes, hoodies and jeans. Richard is often made fun of because of his personal style – but I like, how he's layering clothes and after all, that he doesn't give a fuck what others think about his red cap + pink hoodie :)

Thank you so much for reading/looking/liking, I had so much fun diving into RammWear and presenting my ot3-style :D

Here are some more pics of their fashion I like:

Or...just a simple black tank top - best frickin' look ever!

[zeondraws]

It is 4AM in the morning, I should hit the bed asap. But I needed some time on my own tonight, because I've been supressing feelings way too much the past months. (Thought post about random thoughts, no clue if they make sense it's 5AM when I post this)

I found it really hard to talk to friends about my emotions as of recent. One reason might be, that I still suffer some pain I endured from the old work enviroment.

Somehow I often just want to be left alone, I feel very drained most of the time. But that often leads to a loop effect and I isolate myself further.

Like, at the old workplace I was expected to do something constantly, if I wasn't working on anything for over 3min I'd get scolded or yelled at. Or my coworker would become an adult baby and behave strangely. The other coworkers never saw anything wrong with him, so I was extremely afraid that everyone else had something against me. My old boss would side with him from time to time. The constant demand to stay productive was so draining.

In the end I got replaced, I mean I thankfully found a new job by then. But a new person came in, another inexperienced young person who seemed nice and all. Not sure how she is doing in that place, either she fits right in, or my coworker is making her endure the same pain, or he just overworks himself as he usually does. A person who had my job before I came, became extremely demotivated there and simply left to another workplace.

I try to explain this a bit to highlight some difficulties I am experiencing atm... I don't talk to family about my feelings that much. I tried but, they get easily offended if I vent too much. I have no called my dad back in a while, I already know when I call him back he will only be offended. Or maybe I am spiraling rn. My head makes things appear worse than they actually are.

You guys see how much stuff I have been doing on tumblr the past months or so. I don't remember how long it's been, but... I am still in this mindset of constantly working and staying productive. I rest when I can but I always get the feeling "I have to stay productive" and work on stuff, even when I am sick. In a way it helps to not fall into thoughht spirals, tho then I don't give myself enough space to rest.

I don't know what my end goal with this endless productivity is supposed to be, I want to be helpful in some way and feel like I belong somewhere. But even right now I feel like something is missing... I can't grasp this thought, I don't know what my end goal is. Been messing with fmodel so much to get the game work on this for datamining, I posted a thread on the fmodel server and they said the game is fully working with it. Which suprised me, that I was able to achieve that. Was I the first one to do so? I always thought there is someone better than me already. I often just think I will be some replaceable object, where someone else just takes my place. And this thought... spirals in a way- where I think very less of me. Stuff like I will be forgotten anyways or hmm someone better comes.

My family treated me like an object at times, not letting me decide what to do. Old coworker did the same and I am expected to just agree to everything they say. I tried extremely hard to fight back at the old workplace but I was always met with a wall.

Sometimes I would struggle venting to friends, because when I felt the lowest I get very clingy. I think when I saw Muir in game I noticed some similarity in him in me for example. Even tho I hate to admit that thought, but I have gotten way better at being less clingy. Maybe it's because I grew up a bit more. I definitely ain't the same like 4 years ago. But not to sidetrack too much... sometimes I would vent to friends and they'd bombard me with advice or, maybe some advice felt off for me. One friend once said that we're replaceable (job related) and that didn't sit right with me. Some of this advice would put me off so much that I would stop talking about my feelings with anyone, or just one small friendgroup. But I don't mention a lot there. I think... I think what I can see with myself is, I distance myself so much from everyone, I don't dm people to have a normal chat (I think I get very confused when I hear people dm each other all the time, what do people dm each other for...?I wouldn't know what to talk about), maybe I hang out on servers. I don't want to look at my main phone because suddenly so much makes me nervous again. I want to be alone the entire time and the meds stop some emotions from popping up.

So I have random outbursts where I would cry. and I really need to sit down after sleep and find a new group therapy.. today

I put ridiculous standards on myself sometimes, not wanting to appear weak and appear "professional". But my imagination of being professional is basically be emotionless and work without problems. Tho this doesn't make sense, perhaps I worry too much since I noticed some people really like what I do here. And I don't want to let people down in that regard. but I don't know how.

Earlier I was debating on wether it is strong if I show my weakness or if it's better to hide it. Tho hiding doesn't bring much for me, it's rather bad.

Yknow an earlier post where I mentioned I really like Roper? I get the feeling one of the reasons I find him interesting is, because the way he appears. He doesn't seem to show emotions that much, rather monotone and seems to be a hard working individual. Who sadly needs to do way more because Rennick makes things more difficult. Tho like, even if you see him in Marine Control later... he just suffers in silence. Ain't like Trots who went full bananas, or Muir feeling extremely anxious and all. Or Addair wanting to call his kids and Rennick just flat maniac. Roper just, sits there and tries to avoid saying much. Only thing he says is to keep Rennick away. Maybe the deleted soundfile of the scene says otherwise, but in my view it feels like idk he just ain't somebody who would talk about his feelings. Maybe Roper is some visual imagination of what I think a professional is, but I think he probably has different problems that could be way worse. Suppressing feelings is not good, I still have a lot to work on, on myself.

I am sadly getting too tired to continue this string of thoughts...I always feel very awkward posting my feelings on the web. I wouldn't know where else to thow them.

I will post something silly after sleep. I made some dumb screenshots ingame that literally made me giggle for half an hour ioudhwioeu. Okay, goodnight

[star-fandoms]

I FW WITH THIS HEAVYYYYY OP!! I do have my own theories as well that I wanted to add onto this since I agree with yours, so I hope you don't mind!! :3 A lot of this stuff you said but I'm also adding more detail from the new update!!

HEAVY HEAVY SPOILERS!!

For starters, I agree HEAVILY with the idea of reincarnation being a theme in this game!! The creators tumblr has a few posts where Sol talks about his soulmate, and while that isn't a definite need for a series to be a reincarnation series, I've always thought about soulmates being someone you'll meet in EVERY life after you're reincarnated! Also, I feel like Sol remembers his past life, I didn't know about the post where Amnesia was mentioned, but I feel like it def fits into Sol remembering his past life! So I think Sol, MC, AND Crowe were all reincarnated!

Sol, being the executioner, as you said! One, they kinda LOOK familiar, when I saw the executioner I instantly said Sol LMAO! Two the whole bruise on his neck thing you mentioned! Three, in the bad end Sol uses an axe to kill Crowe, axe's are KINDA similar to guillotines, you aren't gonna stab someone with an axe like you would a knife, you use an axe to chop like a guillotine! Also I'm like 95% certain I've seen something from a game or movie where the use an axe shaped blade instead of the typical guillotine blade! Fourth!! I know Sol isn't the ONLY one who kills, but he's a yandere, he EXECUTES his rivals!! The executioner drawing is also seen with an axe(what Sol used to kill Crowe with) and a collar on and Sol ALSO wears a collar!! It also says that the executioners arms are littered with scars and so are Sol's!

I actually see MC being either a commoner, peasant, OR and most likely, a farmer! I think something from Sol, MC's, and Crowe's past life carried on with them until this life!! And I think MC has always been a farmer, like how they are now! Another reason is when you study with Crowe, in Crowe's question, he talks about the queen befriending a commoner(I believe Crowe is supposed to be the "queen"), I very much feel like the whole scenario Crowe brought up is SO much like Crowe's relationship with the MC! The MC being sus of Crowe for being so nice to them in the beginning of their friendship, much like how you can choose to say you'd be wary of the queen for being nice to you if you were a commoner, Crowe being extremely kind and helpful to the MC even though he really has NO reason to, and he even LOOKS like royalty(he's so pretty omfg) and has been stated to be wealthy! During your first outing with Crowe(when he takes you sightseeing!) he asks if you believe in god, if you say no the MC starts to talk about how they would get upset that their father and theirs hard work would get downplayed and seen as a miracle of god, later in the study session, Crowe uses the same scenario for the what happened between the farmer and the queen, the queen using the farmers hard working labor to throw parties.

And finally, Crowe being royalty! OKAY!! So I've already said he looks princely and is wealthy(which as you said Sol hates the rich)! Two in the study scenario with Crowe he talks about how everyone started turning against the queen because of rumors(I already think about how he doesn't get along with his family so they COULD be included with the people who turned against Crowe! Much like how there were other nobles talking bad about the queen!), I think that Crowe has SOME kind of recollection about his past of being the queen, def not to the extent that Sol has but at least SOME!! I think this because of Crowe's friends, Crowe's friend group consists of people who are "poor"(not necessarily meaning poverty in this case, but poor in terms of hard lives and scenarios being thrown at them) and Crowe is helping them and accepting them even though he once again, does not need to. He welcomes them into him life and under his wing. I also have a feeling that something is going to happen where a rumor comes up about Crowe that you can choose to leave him for, and I also wonder if his friends will leave them, they seem really loyal to him though, but in the comments on Crowe's profile the creator says that Crowe's route is a rollercoaster of emotions, and it would literally break my heart to see all/most of Crowe's friends leave him because of a rumor. I'm not too sure of this since not EVERYONE left the queen behind so they could stick by Crowes side, which is also just another reason I think MC was a farmer in their past life too since the people against the queen were seen holding pitchfork/rake. FINALLY!! I think Crowe is the queen because in the bad end, it states that Crowe's head is barely hanging on, number one guillotines cut off heads(furthering pushing Sol to be seen as the executioner!) but also royalty can ALSO be guillotined(such as Marie Antoinette!) so i think it shows that the queen was guillotined and Sol was trying to replicate that with Crowe! Also Crowe literally CRIES if you say you'll be friends with the queen and stay by her side(which i think would be even more heartbreaking for Crowe if you DID end up leaving him!)

Although I can still see Crowe and MC being switched, with MC being a royal in their past life and Crowe coming from nothing! Maybe MC being a farmer in debt was punishment for NOT helping the poor townsfolk! And Crowe also states that if the queen was nice to him, he'd be sussed out as well, maybe showing that HE WAS the commoner(if the queen was giving the commoner gifts, then maybe that's why Crowe ended up wealthy in this life!) If you choose to see the queen as a friend, Crowe says that's very noble of the MC, as expected of them, and then does not further his explanation!

Also just as a one off comment, Sol clearly likes your neck with how often he buries his face in it, but Crowe ALSO buries his face into the crook of your neck at the end of day two!!

cw TKaTB spoilers, theory, mention of guillotine, amnesia memories spoilers

TKATB and its characters belong to @fantasia-kitt !!

TKATB IS RATED +18. MINORS DONT INTERACT

Was about to post a theory about how sol could have been reincarnated to meet pumpkin again in a different timeline bc they werent allowed to be together in their own timeline, the bruise on his neck being an indication of being guillotined AND him giving purple tullips (sign of royalty and elegance) to pumpkin on valentine's, feeling insecure about his lunch (saying it isnt "extravagant" enough for pumpkin) and somehow using pardon me instead of excuse me (he doesnt usually use this type of elegant language i think. could be just me) kinda seems like we were royalty before? I mean, crowe mentioning marie antoinette and the game giving us many options for the question seems sussy to me. Why does MY opinion on the queen matter this much to both crowe and sol since their love meters go crazy with the answers? speaking of historical figures, i cant be the only one thinking sol WAS the "executioner". maybe that could be it. he was "the executioner" and we were a part of the royalty: swimming in money, expensive alcohol and the sweat of the peasants; and sol being one of them. Maybe we didnt even know who he was but him being a delusional yandere, he thought we were inseperable lovers. maybe that was why he was drawing someone in peasant clothes. He was just drawing his past life, could be the day he first saw us or the day he lost us. anything to support my theory? what inspired the game, ofc :D i was stalking fantasia's socials when i saw the game was was inspired by 3 gamea, one being Amnesia Memories (IM A HUGE FAN OF THAT SHIT). if you didnt know, amnesia memories is about a girl waking up with lost memories, trying to remember things. but bc it is an otome, she has a partner in every world she wakes up in. so if she fails to recollect her memories, she ends up in a different universe with a different partner. the relevance between tkatb and amnesia? in amnesia the final LI can also switch between different universes. he loses the mc in a fire and cant live without her. So a god helps him go to a different universe to be with her again. But everytime he goes to a universe, the world either kills the mc or him somehow. Following with pumpkin being royalty and sol not being able to live with us, what if after our death; he went to a different universe where we are classmates (equal parties!!) and now the entire purpose of his existence being, well, being with us forever?

But yknow. I decided not to post it since pretty much everyone already thinks this way! its probably what fantasia WANTS us to think to bamboozle us in the end, right? :3

P.S. not to mention his hatred for the rich. the rich and their stupid rules were the things that stopped him from being with us! but what if hyugo ALSO has switched universes along with him for his own reasons? Could this be the deal between the two, and the reason why hyugo wont allow sol to just die like that?

[camelspit]

[kettlefire]

As Good as Good Gets (DP X DC Snippet)

Richard "Dick" Grayson is the golden child. In the eyes of the public, and in the eyes of the league. Dick is a sweet, caring son, a man who went from being a sidekick to being a hero. The pipeline from Robin to Nightwing had many people applauding his dedication to keeping Gotham safe.

No one knew the full story, not truly. No one but Bruce Wayne himself. And maybe a certain butler. Many don't know that Dick only became Robin to stop him from hunting down and killing the man who killed his parents.

No one really knows about the harsh fights and arguments he has had with Bruce. The times when Dick would find himself cut off from the Wayne name for a week or so. No one knows that the first person Dick warmed up to was Alfred. Having been bribed with cookies.

Things weren't always this good, trusting, happy relationship between Bruce and Dick. It had been a rough ride, a complicated one. But that was okay, because it got better.

Dick stopped being so moody and angsty. He grew up, he learned, and he changed. He became an older brother, found people that needed him. Needed him in a way that the citizens of Gotham didn't need him.

His brothers like to call him annoying. A goody two shoes who Bruce trusted more than everyone else. They couldn't fathom how someone like Dick could be so stupid and bubbly at all times.

All times, except when shit hits the fans. Despite the name calling, despite coining Dick as the stupid Wayne. They all knew better. They knew that when it mattered, Dick Grayson always pulled through. He was a force to be reckoned with when needed.

The whole Wayne family was a force to be reckoned with when called for. It didn't have to be under the guise of costumes and vigilante acts. Whether he was Officer Grayson or Nightwing, Dick was a man with his morals and values.

One night on patrol as Officer Grayson, Dick found someone who needed that force. A force willing to protect and care for the innocent. The hurt. The damaged, yet still good.

It started like any other night. A call of shots fired by an empty warehouse. There was no sighting or knowledge of any rouges being there, so Dick took the call. Told the team he'll contact them if it seems more than just a civilian incident.

The warehouse was dark, reeked of copper and oil. It didn't take long for Dick to find the trail. The liquid he found looked like the person had been dragged before walking. There was a clear struggle, even with the mess and emptiness that was the warehouse.

That wasn't Dick's biggest concern. The concern lay in just how much blood there was. Too much for any normal person to lose and still manage to stumble through the warehouse.

It wasn't just blood. It wasn't that much, but Dick could spot the strangeness in the liquid. The mixed in green that had an eerily similar color and glow as a certain pit.

Without thinking, Dick followed the trail. Barely remembering to make contact with his family. Give them an update on what he found. Words telling him to stay put for backup went in one ear and out the other.

Something in Dick's gut was telling him he couldn't wait. He needed to find the source. Whoever was currently bleeding out in this warehouse. He silenced the comm, moving further through the dimly lit building.

Then Dick found it. Or more so, he found him. It was just a boy. A boy that reminded Dick too much of the youngest Wayne. A boy sat against a wall, looking pale and weak.

Red and green coated the front of the boy's shirt, arms wrapped tightly around his middle. An attempt to stem the bleeding. A puddle had already started to form beneath the boy, and Dick moved without thinking once again.

He quickly found himself kneeling beside the boy, hands carefully reaching out. Before Dick even touched him, the boy flinched. Eyelids suddenly opened, wide and terrified blue eyes landed on Dick's.

In just that one look, Dick knew what he had to do. The haunting, terrified, and pained look in the boy's eyes told Dick everything he needed to know. The boy was in danger. Someone had hurt this kid, and it was clear it wasn't the first time.

The boy struggled weakly against Dick's touch, terrified whimpers, and barely coherent pleas spilled from the kid's lips. It had Dick's heart aching, clear as day the poor kid has been through hell and back.

It took a lot of reassurance, gentle touches, and promises of help before the kid let Dick take a look at the bleeding wound. A promise on Dick's soul had been the final thing that earned him any semblance of trust. A strange promise, but Dick was willing to make it.

That concern turned to pure anger the moment Dick managed to pull the sticky shirt away from the wound. The sight of a Y-incision cut perfectly into the skin, stitches tight on the skin, but blood still leaking heavily from the wound.

It didn't take long for Dick to realize why. Despite the perfect surgical care of the wound, a good couple of stitches had broken. Leaving gaping spots for that red and green liquid to pour out of.

The boy was deathly silent, tears streaking down his cheek as wide blue eyes stayed trained on Dick. In that moment, Dick knew he had to help. Had to get the kid to safety, patch him up, and find out what kind of monster would do this.

It didn't matter if the kid was human or not. It didn't matter if the kid had special abilities or not. No one, absolutely no one, deserved to be vivisected.

The kid was shrouded in mystery, but that mystery only seemed to grow and become clearer when Bruce had entered the scene. The boy had tensed, eyes flashing a bright glowing green.

Lazarus pit green.

It set a pit of dread in Dick's gut. His mind brings forward memories of Jason. Jason, after his revival, after his dip in that cursed pit. The same flash that his brother would get if he got too angry. Too emotional.

As much as Dick wanted to focus on finding who did this, if it had any connection to Ra's al Ghul. He couldn't. Not when the kid tried to get up, to pull away as Bruce and the others made their way closer.

Right now, Dick only cared about making sure the boy was okay. Fixing those stitches, getting him a meal, and a warm bed.

He needed to get this kid someplace where he felt safe and secure. Comfortable and protected. Dick wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the promise he had made, but he wasn't letting anyone get to the kid.

That included his family. As strange as it seemed, Dick put himself between the others and the kid. Shooting them all a glare that they had only ever seen a handful of times.

Dick lifted the poor boy up in his arms, cradling the crying child close as he led the way out of the warehouse. Ignoring the questions or confusion coming from Bruce and the others. As Dick walked, feeling the trembling boy clinging to him, he made a rather obvious realization.

Maybe the eldest son really was more like Bruce than he expected. Just a few short moments the the boy, a boy that Dick didn't know his name, and he was ready to pull out adoption papers. To give the boy a safety he so desperately needs.

Give him the chance that Bruce had given him all those years ago.

[botanyshitposts]

flowers blooming in such heft and numbers they bend the plant over and plants bearing fruit so hard they shower everything under it in fruits or make the very branches bend…. creatures are just experiencing vast bounty and good fortune out there fr fr