#I think he actively blocked out that information from his brain

[spineless-lobster]

My mom try not to ignore my gender identity challenge (impossible)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for faking my death to get out of an abusive relationship?

Tw for verbal + mental/psychological abuse and suicide

I used to be in a discord server with some friends, there were about 40 people in it, only around 20 who were actually active. It was a while ago I can't remember. I was in that server for about 4 months.

From the start, people would occasionally get mad at me over something I didn't do. About every month or so someone would start a rumor about me and make the whole server gang up on me, I'd tell them it was false, but everyone would still avoid me for the next couple days.

I never did anything wrong, but I was always the center of the drama, and when I asked one person, R, why, he said he didn't know and that I didn't deserve so much hate.

About a week later R was talking in the vent channel about how I had manipulated him. I DMed him to ask why, and he told me it was because I asked him if he was my friend. I thought it was fucking stupid because it's not manipulative to be paranoid, but I pretended to be sorry because I didn't want him to be mad at me.

The server also had a bot where you could submit anonymous messages, and lots of people would use that feature to make up things about me to ruin my reputation.

After a while I left the server and only stayed in contact with a few people. However, every couple days another person would tell me I'm a monster and gaslight me into thinking I'm a terrible person, and every time I asked why they hated me they didn't give me an answer.

My only real friend, T, showed me some messages from the others after I left the server, and a bunch of people were making up stories about bad things I had done to them, and people who I had never even spoken to were saying that I had abused them and was dangerous.

Once someone told me thay they understood all the things R had said about me weren't true, but said it was still my fault anyway, and even told me that R had done nothing wrong (he lied about me in front of the entire server and is the reason I lost all my friends, and he yelled at me and called me evil because I was suicidal), and then they accused me of faking having amnesia because I had flashbacks.

Eventually, only four of my "friends" hadn't blocked me, and they almost never talked to me. Everyone kept calling me a terrible person because R spread lies about me and everyone else believed him instead of me.

It was to the point where I couldn't go one day without someone sending me death threats or trying to guilt trip me with false information, and I was getting very sever flashbacks of the stuff R had said to me, and I started failing classes because I couldn't focus on anything.

Eventually I had had enough, so I tagged them all in a tumblr post about how I was going to kill myself and then logged out of both that tumblr account and my old discord account forever.

(Also about a month after I had left, I got texts from irl friends, and it turns out someone on the server found the contact info of people I knew in real life just to ask if I was dead or not. And that scared the shit out of me.)

I've left out a lot of details of the abuse because of amnesia. I have a mental disorder which makes it hard to remember things, plus the brain often blocks out traumatic memories, so I'm sorry if some info feels missing.

The only reason I feel like I might be an asshole is because once I was gone, all of them switched targets and started to harass T. They said they hated him for being on my side, and sent him death threats on anon because he was mad at them for killing his friend. They started treating him the same way they treated me, and called him a horrible person but refused to give a reason as to why, and if I had stayed around they would've left him alone.

@should-be-dead (made a sideblog so I get notified when this is posted)

[lunamugetsu]

I see a lot of people going with the idea that if Danny were to be captured and tortured by the GIW, that the main people that would find him are Young Justice, Teen Titans or the Justice League main heroes.

So I raise you this idea.

The one who finds the GIW facility that's keeping Danny prisoner is The Question. The resident faceless conspiracy theorist hero that works for the Justice League. (the one I'm thinking of is the guy from Justice League Unlimited. The one that got together with Huntress. You can imagine this with the Renee Montoya version if you want, but I'm just thinking of the guy Question)

Now hear me out. The Question is known for having crazy conspiracy theories and in the the cartoon, Supergirl asks Green Arrow why they have the Question on the roster for the Justice League since he has such crazy theories, he must be insane. And Green Arrow replies with that some of his theories have actually turned out to be true.

So couple that with how The Question gets crazy theories and he does investigate them on his own time. It wouldn't be a stretch that he finds out that there's an obscure government agency that he instantly starts getting suspicious of as there's very rarely any documentation he can find about it. But what hammers his suspicions in is the obscene amount of money that's being pumped into that agency and a serious of facilities that somehow exist and yet also do not exist but he knows it's real because some of them required a humongous power grid to be able to have the facility function.

The Question starts investigating the facilities. Going undercover finding obscure ways to get into the building. He gets in finds a super secure, heavily fortified area that he could tell where most of the energy is being powered to keep locked. He finds the lab areas where he can see the autopsy tables all with machinery that are definitely raise some eyebrows. He starts downloading information about the facility from their servers and finds that the codes to unlock the area that was blocked to him before.

He goes to investigate that area and low and behold, who does he see but an imprisoned Danny who has clearly been tortured. The Question would then go "well I'm breaking him out" and just does an impromptu jail break and takes the kid which sounds the alarm. They're getting the heck out of there. The Question contacts the Justice League gets him and the kid to the Watchtower.

Later on Danny is staying with the Question, because Danny need a place to stay and he's cool with the faceless dude that saved him from his prison. The dude is like super chill with all of the stuff he talks about and actively listening to everything he talked about. Even adding comments of his own like

"I knew it! Lunch Ladies are connected with creation of the mystery meat! And they're funded by the government so they can use it as a brain control weapon to control the future generation!"

or

"The politicians of today could possibly be possessed by the ghosts of the past. They're unwilling to relinquish any power they possessed even in the afterlife!"

Plus, Danny's like completely cool with making food and cleaning up after Question. Because one, the food doesn't come to life and try to attack him like it does at home. And two, the man keeps all of his conspiracy stuff pretty organized so there was hardly anything for Danny to clean up. And sure the guy has a weird lifestyle with things such as brushing his teeth with baking soda because he says fluoride is used by the government to be able to see the people better from their satellites. Or that he'll look through everybody's garbage and would sometimes drag Danny with him to help, which he later learns is a great way to gather information about someone. And having conversations with the dude is kind of creepy when he can't see the dude's face, but he gets used to it and then starts practicing his shape shifting to see freak out the other heroes when they see he has no face.

Meanwhile The Question would have moments while working where he's like "Wait! Did I feed the kid this morning?" also Huntress is there because she doesn't trust her boyfriend at keeping a human being alive, even if they are half dead.

[seliasvault]

I don't write often but this au has just been sitting in my brain ever since i watched an ep about border security and i need to get it out.

nsfw below, mdni

airportsecurity!ghost + airportsecurity!price x reader

tw: abuse of power, non-con elements, /f!reader/ 18+

It was standard procedure, any sort of suspicious activity needed to be investigated, and it just so happens that was the very flight you were on. Boarding was easy, and the flight was surprisingly pleasant too, a contrast to the intense anxiety you’d felt before the trip, so really everything after that should be a breeze.

Walking into Heathrow Airport gave you a sense of excitement, the trip to London that you had been thinking about finally coming to a reality. 

With your carry-on behind you, you made the walk toward the exit, thinking about the trip to the hotel and where you’d eat lunch. As you made your way toward the walkway however multiple TSA agents were blocking the way, the passengers ahead of you already being questioned with their passports in hand. 

You let out a quick breath, steading your nerves, this is unusual but then again what do you know about London and their security measures? Trying to suppress the number of anxiety-inducing thoughts, you make your way to one of the available officers. Dressed in a black outfit, name tag reading Riley, in all caps, you look up to meet his eyes. He speaks first.

“Just need to see your passport, and ask a couple of questions.” 

“Yeah, no problem! Just give me a second.” You quickly reply, hoping to not raise any suspicion, you really had no reason for him to be suspicious at all but a situation like this left you even more anxious than normal. 

Fishing through the handbag, you were thankful for keeping your passport handy, hastily pulling it out, to not waste any more of his time, you hand it over to him. 

“Thank you.” He flips it open, glancing at your picture, date of birth, and other information

You silently cringe at the almost 3-year photo old, you haven’t quite mastered the art of government pictures yet. 

“And where’ya headed love” 

“Just out to London.” You keep your voice steady, trying to keep a sense of calm. 

“Alright, you here on business? What’s the reason for your visit?” He glances up at you this time, handing your passport back to you. 

You slide it back in your bag while giving him your answer. 

“Just here to visit, always wanted to see London.” You say, letting out a nervous laugh at the end of that. 

He nods his head. “Are you meeting anyone?” He asks tilting his head. 

“Uh yeah, my dad, he flew in earlier, a couple of days ago.” 

You respond hoping that this little interaction would be over soon, you weren’t sure how much longer you could chat with a man that looked like him while maintaining composure. Sure he was an officer, but by god was he a good-looking one, you internally scolded yourself for that remark, he’s just doing his job, and thinking about him like that is very wrong. Besides these are highly trained men, so the chances of him knowing you're attracted to him are higher than normal. Of course, normal people probably can't tell.

“A couple of days ago, separate flights?” He questioned. 

“Oh yeah. he got a really good deal for the 7th and I was supposed to be on that flight with him but I couldn’t get my time off for that date, hence why, the later meeting.” You gave him a timid smile, gesturing slightly with your hands, hoping that answers any of his questions. You were truthful and didn’t say anything to raise suspicion, so really you should be able to go so you could then blush profusely at the close contact and his accent. 

He glanced back at what seemed to be his superior officer, receiving a nod from him you assume you’re in the clear. That was until he opened his mouth.

“Okay, I’m just gonna ‘ave you come back with me, for a couple more questions.” 

Your heart dropped, swallowing you gave him a an awkward smile. 

“Yeah, yeah no problem.”

“Follow me this way.”

You followed him as he led the way, the nervous thoughts that had so far remained in check started to spring loose. What if they falsely accuse you of something and you can’t prove you didn't do it? God, you had just watched a documentary of a man who spent 30 years in prison for something he didn’t do, what if the next movie’s about you? Cringing internally, you shove everything away, focusing on remaining as calm and composed as possible. 

//

Simon knew they had already apprehended the suspect, they received a tip from the JFK airport that there may have been someone smuggling some form of narcotics, and it was their job to search for them. Stopping passengers was not a common practice but Simon’s done his fair share. Ask the usual questions, confirm their passport, and look for any details that may give anything away. 

When you approached him, the only free officer, he felt something stir in his stomach. A young thing, innocent looking, fresh off the plane. He knew you were most definitely not the suspect they were looking for, nonetheless, he proceeded with the standard procedure. 

After hearing the first words come out of your mouth, he immediately turned to glance at Price. Both sharing the same look he went back to the task at hand. Pre Deciding they couldn’t just let a pretty thing like you escape from their grasp. He listened to every word you said, a small smirk playing at his lips from the nervousness that lightly dripped from your voice. Poor girl, all alone, being stopped in an unknown country, he could feel the anxiety rolling off of you no matter how much you tried to hide it. 

So when he knew he was just about done and ready to take you back, he gave Price one last look, a sly smile tugging on his face, and a nod following. Nothing felt as good as watching you slowly pale after he told you he’d need to bring you back for questioning.

//

Sitting in the chair opposite to, what looked to be one of the two officers' desks, you bounced your leg up and down. Your luggage tucked in the corner, your phone in hand as you waited for either of them to arrive. You unlock your phone sending a quick text to your Dad, telling him you were caught up with security and they just had some questions to ask you. In return you receive the classic Dad response, a single thumbs up followed by a: “Don’t worry, you’ll be out soon.” Your Dad, ever so helpful. 

When the door opened you stilled glancing back to see both men enter, the previous officer, Riley, and a man who looked just slightly older than him, name tag reading Price.

You mentally sighed and cursed at your luck, not only were you stopped for extra questioning but of course as fate would have it both officers had to be stupidly good-looking.

If your underwear started to gain a slight wetness to it, it definitely has nothing to do with them.

Officer Riley locked the door behind him, going to stand in the corner as his superior moved to sit behind the desk. 

“I’m Officer Price, we just ‘ave a couple o’ questions to ask ya.” He clears his throat, his demeanor straight to the point.

You glance at his hands, folded on the table, we you wait to answer anything he throws at you. 

"You said you were meeting your Dad?" He waits for confirmation looking back down at the paper.

“Yes, He flew a couple days ago.” He shifts.

“Alright, now ma’am, I’m going to be honest here, we were alerted by JFK that there was someone who was potentially smuggling drugs.” He glances up at you before returning his gaze to whatever was on his paper. All the while Officer Riley’s eyes burn holes through you. Your eyes momentarily flicker to his before you return your gaze to the man sitting in front of you. 

A small “Oh” was all you could manage, if your heart could drop any further, it did. Your heart rate slowly rises, you know you didn’t smuggle anything, but the thought of being put away for something you didn’t do sat heavy on your mind. 

A cute little thing you were, sat fidgeting in front of Price, each word coming out of his mouth made you shrink. He could practically feel the anxiousness oozing off of you. No fret, you’ll feel better soon. He knew that none of this was necessary, all for show so he and Simon could have their way with you. If they were on their own personal lunch break you wouldn't know, he continued, explaining what would happen next. 

“I’m just going to have Officer Riley here search your bag if that’s alright.” He voices, he looks down at the same sheet of paper, and then raises it back up to look at you.

“Yeah! That-That’s no problem.” You sit in your seat as you watch Officer Riley move to grab your luggage, mentally going through anything in there that could raise concerns. 

He lifts the suitcase, setting it down on the metal table tucked in the corner. Unzipping it, he opens it, revealing your clothes and the various little bags you made to separate your toiletries. He goes through the clothes, sifting through each, one by one, unfolding and rearranging. He lifts a pair of your black lace underwear, holding it up and inspecting it. 

Your cheeks burn, your face hot in embarrassment.

Once he’s satisfied with the extent he’s searched, he closes the bag, zipping it back and placing it on the floor. 

“No issues detected Sir.” 

“Good, alright following protocol were gonna ‘ave to search ya.” His scouse accent trickling through. 

You felt another wave of heat and embarrassment and hint of wetness flooding you. Rendered a little you speechless, you nod. Answering finally,

“I-okay, you-okay.”

Officer Riley from his position in the corner.  

“ Need ya t’a spread your arms for me, move those legs apart too-yeah just like tha'.” 

He really had no reason to sound so sexual for something as tame as a search. You did as told though, following his orders. His hands roaming across your body patting down any areas “necessary”, you chalked off the extra time he spent on your breasts and crotch to another ‘simply doing his job’. Once the search was over he straightened up, telling his superior that it was all clear. You finally let out a breath, hoping to be let free.

“Last step and we’ll send you out, I’ll be conducting a strip search.”

At this point whatever forces that were out there were torturing you, you could no longer hide the wetness pooling inside your underwear. And the shock running through your body made sure you were unable to form words. You gave a nod in replacement to the stuttering alternative.

He walked you over to the table where your luggage had just been, bending you at the waist. As your heart rate picked up, you then open your mouth. 

“I’m sorry-but is this really necessary, I mean I’ve never committed any crime, like ever, and my suitcase is clear I-”

“Just do as you're told, if you have nothing to hide you should have no issues.” 

You quickly close your mouth as his hands pull your pants down roughly, pooling at your feet. Your underwear clinging to you, the wetness apparent. He continues his “search”, pulling at your underwear, letting it fall alongside your pants. 

You squeak out a sound of embarrassment, eyes filling with humiliation. He presses up against you, fingers moving up and down your slit. The faintest groan could be heard, from who, you weren’t sure. 

“Fucking dripping.” He lets out a chuckle, as you go to protest. Before you can get anything out however he shoves a finger inside. 

Your eyes screw shut, as he thrusts his finger into you, adding a second to join in. 

“Part of the procedure, sweetheart.” 

You let out small breaths, the faintest whines following after, as you tried to conceal your noises. He hits a spot inside you causing you to choke out a gasp. Price lets out a noise of approval, choosing to then continuously hit that spot. 

“You-” you let out a small moan, as he rubs around your g-spot, your brain short-circuiting. 

“What’s that? You gonna ‘ave to speak up love.” He taunts, relishing in your embarrassment. 

He continues his ministrations, his other hand coming to roughly rub at your clit. You can’t help the small moans that leave your mouth, as you try to hold them back.

“Oh fuck-”

You hear Officer Riley move toward you, manhandling your body so your splayed at the corner, backside facing Price while, face level with his crotch. He crouches down slowly to meet your eyes. 

“Be as loud as you want lovie, no one can hear ya.” He probe his finger in your mouth, as you keep it clasped shut.

“Have t’a search it, part of the procedure.” 

Price hits that spot inside you harder, causing you to let out another moan, mouth opening for him. 

“Perfect.” He groans out, fingers pushing your tongue down. 

“Where ‘ave they been hiding ya?” He smirks, standing to unbutton his pants, a noise of surprise is let out by you, muffled by his fingers. 

Left hand singularly undoing his belt. Shoving his pants down, stopping at his knees.

His cock springs out, thick and large, your eyes widening at the sight.

Price behind you pulls his fingers out abruptly, helping you regain some consciousness you open your mouth to protest at the man infront of you.

Your actions however, are interrupted by the thick length being shoved inside you from the man at your backside.

“Have to be thorough.” He lets out a laugh, dark eyes feeding off the sight of you. 

You choke a sound of surprise, as he almost immediately starts a brutal pace. The man in front of you speaks.

“You're gonna be a good girl for me, open up nice and wide.” He clicks his tongue.

You shake your head until Price drives into you especially hard. Mouth opening in surprise.

“That’s it, good girl.” You gasp around his length, being fucked into by the pair of them. 

Price chimes in from behind.

“Look at you, such a good girl letting two officers fuck you, making sure she’s not causing any trouble.” He reaches over to rub at your clit, fingers moving in quick circular motions. Both of them rocking into you at a brutal pace. 

You feel yourself approaching your climax, with muffled moans and cries. 

“Can you feel clenching around me sweetheart, be a good girl, come on my cock, that's it.” He groans, his pace speeding up as the other approaches his climax as well. 

After a harsh rub to your clit you come, body shaking as tears leak from your eyes. Price continues his thrusts, as you inadvertently suck him in, the little whines vibrating around Simons's cock. They both finally come with a low groan, thick salty liquid coating your tongue and insides as you struggle to swallow. 

“Fuckin’ hell.” The man in front of you moans out. 

They both slowly slide out, leaving you boneless on the table, as you whine out at the movement.

“Quite the mess.” Price comments, a dark laugh following from the man in front of you. 

You make an exhausted noise in response. Quite the mess indeed. 

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Do you think Riddle is so short because of what his mom made him eat ?

Like only making him get the perfect amount of calories like in his overblot backstory

Maybe it is because his mom is also short? Anyways she doesn't seem tall, also where is his dad.

***PLEASE NOTE: I am NOT speaking as a dietician or a doctor; the information and interpretations presented here are based my own scientific knowledge and research, and apply ONLY to the analysis of a fictional character. This post is NOT meant to be taken as any sort of medical or dietary advice.*** Personally, I'm not of the belief that Riddle is short due to his controlled dietary intake. In very simple terms, calories can be thought of as the fuel you burn to get through activities. While a caloric deficit can contribute to stunting of growth, I don't think this applies to Riddle since he lives a relatively sedentary lifestyle (sitting and studying) and is provided an adequate amount of calories per meal. I want to take a quick moment to dispel the commonly held belief that Mrs. Rosehearts underfeeds Riddle. This seems to sprout from a misinterpretation of a line in 1-25 when she is serving Riddle a birthday meal. Here, she states the exact amount that Riddle must have in order to not overshoot 600 kilocalories. This is led some fans to think that Mrs. Rosehearts restricts Riddle to 600 kilocalories a day, which is just not true. From the dialogue, it is clear that Riddle is granted 600 kilocalories per meal. Assuming 3 meals a day, that means 1800 kilocalories per day, which is very close to the recommended 1745 kilocalories for the average 8-year old boy (not accounting for fluctuations from individual child to individual child). This is a perfectly normal intake, but is appears strange at first glance because very few parents actively calorie count what their child eats to this extent.

Back to the original topic, nutrient intake also contributes to height. (Think of nutrients as the building blocks to a building called your body, and the calories as workers or the 'energy' that assembles the building/your body.) However, that doesn't mean that I think Riddle didn't get enough nutrients; it is possible to have low calorie meals which are nutritious. (For example, athletes may have to follow specialized diets in order to attune their bodies to whatever sport or activity they do. Similarly, Vil crafts a diet for the VDC/SDC squad in book 5 which cuts out junk food, is overall lower in calories, and still provides the group with the energy they need for practice.) Mrs. Rosehearts has dialogue where she describes the nutritional content of the meals she has prepared, which seem to be tailored for brain function. I'm going to assume that those meals also adequately provided for Riddle's other nutritional needs. I don't have reason to believe Mrs. Rosehearts, a doctor and mother who is detail-oriented and hellbent on her child's success, would knowingly and intentionally sabotage his health.

It’s canon that maintaining physical wellbeing makes for a good mage (which is why NRC makes its students take P.E.). Additionally, eating well is said to be one way a mage can make a recovery from blot accumulation. If Riddle were eating poorly and/or was of poor health, that would only mean struggles with concentration and his magic suffering the consequences—and that’s very much counterintuitive to the success that Mrs. Rosehearts envisions for her son.

You don’t need an abundance of calories or nutrients for growth and development. The excess will get stored as adipose tissue/fat or (depending on the nutrient) exit the body as waste. It’s important for a child to be fed well in order to grow properly, but generally if they aren’t malnourished (ie getting less than what they need) then they wouldn’t be stunted.

By in large, genetics is the major deciding factor in height. I believe current studies suggest as much as 60-80% of one's height is predetermined by DNA sequences (although those DNA sequences can be altered by the environment and outside other factors). It could very well be that Riddle is just short because his ancestors had the "short" gene. Looking back at manga images of Riddle's mom from the manga, she doesn't seem that short to me. Even when Mrs. Clover is bowing her head to her, both moms appear to be about the same height (if Mrs. Clover were standing). Maybe Mrs. Clover is a little taller (it's hard to say just staring at the image), but not by a lot. If I had to guess, they seem to be about average height for women. That doesn't mean anything in terms of genetics though, you could be any height and still carry the "short" gene to pass onto your children (the shortness trait just isn't always expressed outwardly.)

If I had to guess, I’d say Riddle is just “naturally” short or drew a bad lot in terms of genetics (since his height seems to be a sore spot for him). He’s about that age where most men will stop growing too (although some do grow well into their late teens and even early twenties).

Regarding Mr. Rosehearts, we haven't seen him yet but he's definitely mentioned a few times! He is said to be a medical mage like his wife and is implied to not have a happy marriage with her (according to Riddle). That's about all we know of him now. Some parental figures just get less focus than the other, and that’s the case for Mr. Rosehearts as well as many others (Mrs. Trappola, Mr. Spade, Mrs. Asim, etc.).

It’s possible that the short gene came from Mr. Rosehearts, but we don’t know for sure since we’ve never gotten so much as a silhouette for him. Again though, he could be tall or average but have an unexpressed short gene. I believe many fans headcanon him as short though, as the King of Hearts in the source material is smaller and meeker than his wifez

[oladthepancake]

HELLOOO EVERYONE!

✦ · · · · · · · · · · · · ·

HERE

LOOK

I put off publishing this post for a long time because I was too lazy to write all the information that I want to put here, but here I am, showing you my two models for vitubing, created entirely by myself with my own hands on my laptop!

✦ · · · · · · · · · · · · ·

but before that I think it’s worth starting with an idea! And the idea came mega spontaneously:

This handsome man and I watched a couple of videos with Neuro-Sama and suddenly this dialogue appears:

- How about we become VTubers?

- seriously?

- yeah

- Let's go.

✦ · · · · · · · · · · · · ·

Even though this decision was mega harsh and rather profane, it charged me with motivation and allowed me to get out of the art block a little

After all, I REALLY love learning new programs and things for myself.

✦ · · · · · · · · · · · · ·

Time:

• 5 days to draw both models

• A week to animate them

Programs:

Krita (drawing)

life2D + his brother (animation of models and adding additional emotions)

Vtube Studio (Launch models)

Obs (video filming)

Energy Source:

God knows

✦ · · · · · · · · · · · · ·

So who were my victims of this experiment?

As expected, my avatar was my alter ego Temmie, and for our mega partner/boyfriend we chose his alter ego Sans from Freedomtale!

Since the path is completely new and unfamiliar to me, I desperately searched on YouTube for all kinds of videos and tutorials, as a result of which I found the most understandable and enjoyable series of videos from Lazu-Tan, which I mainly relied on when making avatars

Next, having found it on the Internet and installed the necessary programs on the laptop, I scribbled sketches that would later grow into models:3

after this stage there is a boring process of drawing the models directly, grouping a bunch of layers (a separate layer was needed for each moving object, such as separate layers for each strand of hair and grouping into a common group with hair. This was an unusual thing and made me really strain my brain)

Having saved both files in .psd format, I put them into a new program called Life2D! I needed this program to create animations of the very layers that I had distributed and grouped earlier. head turns, hair physics, eye blinks, additional emotions - this is all the merit of the great Life2D and those 43 days of the trial of the full version, which he so kindly provided me with for creativity... in fact, I thank you for the conditional “deadline”, because without it, God knows when I would have finished this project under other circumstances

When working, there were a lot of problems due to insufficient knowledge about the operation of the application, which is why sometimes I felt like a would-be programmer who couldn’t find an error in his code for several days (I tried to program, I know what I’m talking about)

It would seem hurray, everything is ready! however, here the finishing touches await us.

Those additional emotions (like blush, stars, tears) that should be activated by assigned keys must first be configured through a separate program that is installed with Life2D

in general, the procedure is not complicated, and I even found it somewhat pleasant

After this, the models can be considered ready, they just need to be put into the files of an application such as Vitube Studio, after which you can play your character at the camera or use them for streaming or making videos!

I published videos demonstrating the capabilities of my models on my YouTube

It was an ultra-mega interesting experience, and I will not hesitate to say this, and I am proud of the results:3

for streaming, however, all that remains is to turn my little potato into a more or less tolerable laptop, but I think sooner or later I will be able to solve this issue

@thefreedomskeleton

✦ · · · · · · · · · · · · ·

Thank you if you are reading this and wish you a wonderful time of day!

[reds-skull]

Not Alive, Nor Dead

[PART 1]

Don't ask me why I wrote chapter two literally a day after the first, it's a mix of the nice comments I got and the fact I'm enjoying myself more than I expected, haha.

Ghost crashes into his desk chair, throwing two folders on the table. One was the Sergeant’s report, which he had to go through and approve before forwarding to Price, and the other…

The other was Soap’s personal file. He technically didn’t have clearance for it anymore, but Price left it on his desk next to the report, and Ghost figured he won’t notice if it disappeared for a couple hours.

Besides… he was supposed to read it before the mission. He just didn’t care in the past.

Ghost opens the file, and immediately gets greeted by a picture of Soap. He’s younger and seemed to be holding back a smile for the photo. 

John “Soap” MacTavish. Somehow, Ghost can’t see how this fiery Sergeant shares a name with the captain.

The rest of the file is pretty standard. Born in Scotland (In a town Ghost never heard of), age 27, enlisted at 16. It gets more interesting when he reaches the Revenant section.

Or, whatever he can see from it. His Reaping, his first death, is completely blacked out. His powers list the explosion immunity and creation, but another line is censored. Ghost feels cheated of information - the amount of red tape around Soap would be concerning, if it didn’t make him that more intrigued.

He flips through his previous missions fairly quickly, not expecting much of it to be uncensored. Lad was SAS before dying, the reports are practically a solid block of black ink.

Ghost continues to the medical reports, fully intending to skip those as well, and he keeps flipping, and flipping, and flipping…

An icy hand grabs at his throat. Frowning, he slowly flips back.

The frozen feeling persists when he starts reading. 4 years ago, mission in Austria. Exposure to thermite explosion, 3 fingers missing and loss of motor function to his left leg. 11 months ago, C4 accident, right ear, eye, and majority of throat missing. 2 years ago, grenade explosion, massive damage to liver and stomach.

Combing through all records, Ghost took a moment to realize no medical procedure was noted. Which means Soap didn’t receive any.

He shut the folder.

Something different from the freezing horror he initially felt started rising within him. It was rage.

The personal folder gets thrown aside, and Ghost focuses on the mission report. Right. Perhaps this will shed more light on what Soap is capable of, because honestly right now he can’t bare thinking about how much damage the Sergeant suffered through any longer.

The report is well-written, as any soldier of Soap’s rank would be. Ghost enjoys seeing just how competent Soap was, clearing rooms at neck breaking speed. What catches his eyes is the reason the explosion at the warehouse happened.

He never did get an answer to that…

As it turns out, Soap did get spotted. But according to the report, it wasn’t a hostile that activated the explosive. No, Soap himself did that. The reason given is “estimated risk to Bravo 0-7”.

…Soap thought he was in danger?

Ghost racks his brain trying to understand why. Did he think Ghost didn’t clear the third floor yet? Did he think… they were going to alert backup?

And he decides to… blow himself up.

He hastily signs the document and grabs both folders. So much information, missing, blacked out, red tape stopping him from understanding. Ghost has long learned that he won’t, can’t understand everything, orders from higher up not to be questioned. But it has never bothered him more. 

Never left this feeling of missing out.

When Ghost reaches Price’s office, the light is on and a lingering smell of cigars wafts even through the closed door. Shit. He’ll have to explain how the amount of folders he took suddenly multiplied.

“Weird how that happens, doesn't it Ghost?” Price shouts from beyond the door.

Bloody hell his stupid mind reading powers can be a real pain in the-

“You better not finish that thought Lieutenant!” 

Sighing, Ghost finally opens the door. “I thought you’re on break, Captain”, he places the folders on his desk.

Price glares at the two folders before he looks back at him, eyebrow raised, “clearly”.

Ghost glares back. Not like he has anything to say to his defence.

Price breaks the tension with a little huff, “You know you could’ve just asked for the file, right? I could tell the Sergeant left an impression on you.” he laughs.

Not needing the Captain to mock him further, he bites back “report’s signed, permission to be dismissed?”

Price smirks and dismisses him. Ghost doesn’t miss the thought that leaked from him, “told you, you two would get along.”

He walks away before Price could read his own.

Smoking becomes less intimidating after you die once. Honestly, if it comes to the point he dies from lung cancer, he’ll be happy.

He’ll take that little comfort either way. Watching the smoke dissipate to the night sky, a handful of stars shining through. Little droplets of rain drizzle on the tin roof above him. It’s almost peaceful. 

Almost. If only he couldn’t hear Gaz complaining from the floor above him.

“Look, he’s doing it again.” the recruit next to him makes a questioning sound, “Ghost, he’s bloody brooding. I swear, he’s been like this even since that mission with the revenant, what’s his name…”

The recruit mumbles something, “right! MacTavish. I’ll pay a good amount to know what happened with him… you think-”

Ghost slams a fist at the tin roof, “I can fuckin’ hear ya Garrick!”.

“Good! Tell me what happened there!”

He throws the cigarette and stomps it. Can’t get a moment of silence around here…

Gaz still tries to interrogate him while Ghost walks back to his room. He would talk to him when he feels like it, kindly suggest to never bring up that mission again. 

Ghost doesn’t need more things to remind him of the Sergeant.

Sometimes he wonders if he ever was as bad as these rookies. Watching one trip on thin air, taking down 3 others poor sods trying to complete a run, he rather believe he wasn’t.

He approaches the 4 idiots, who are now literally shaking while craning their neck to look at their lieutenant. “Well, what are you waiting for? Get up!”.

The rookies finally pull their heads out of their arse and scramble up. While they try to get back on track, he shouts, “five more laps for you four! Get a move on!”.

The ones that finished the training murmur behind him something that sounds like a long list of expletives, maybe about wishing his mother got an abortion or the likes. 

Ghost couldn’t care less. But, for the sake of discipline, he throws a scowl at the group, shutting them instantly. 

It’s on days like these, where Gaz is away on mission, and Price buried under mountains of paperwork, that Ghost’s thoughts wander back to that mission six months ago. To a certain Scottish Sergeant, to daft jokes and a weird shared understanding. Fingers flickering with flames, blue eyes shining with them.

Useless thoughts. All they do is leave a bitter trail behind them.

On days like these, he can’t help but crave bitterness. 

The recruits finally finish their run, and Ghost dismisses them before they can cause more trouble, effectively declaring it “not his problem”. He should be more grateful of Garrick, he’s much better at handling the FNGs.

As he makes his way to the showers, one Private stops him. He looks familiar, but Ghost doesn’t bother learning any of their names.

“Captain Price orders you to his office.” the Private almost sneers at him. Ghost nods and walks away. 

Once, a long time ago, he might’ve put the Private in his place, perhaps when he cared more. Now he knows better. His powers speak loud and clear. If he wished, he could wipe the entire base off the face of this godforsaken earth. It might be because of this fact, most soldiers abhor him.

They can’t help hating what they don’t understand.

Three well practiced knocks and a “come in!”, Ghost stands in front of the Captain. Price looks surprisingly chipper for the amount of files on his desk. That makes one of them.

“To what do I owe the occasion, Captain?”

Price flashes a warm smile (one he would call fatherly if the connotation didn’t want to make him want to puke) “I’m considering adding a new member to the 141”.

His first reaction is ‘fuck no’, and Price’s face sours at that. But Ghost is willing to entertain the Captain, so he asks, “you got any candidates?”.

Price motions to the dozen or so files on his desk, “take a look”.

Ghost raises an eyebrow before sitting down and taking one at random. Sergeant Thomas Anderson, 28. Revenant powers… “Breathing underwater? Really.” Ghost shuts the folder and glances at Price, “I’ll take him when we go on a bust against ultranationalists from Atlantis”.

“Not everyone is as deadly as you, Simon” Price sighs, “go on, check the others.”

Several files later Ghost is left wondering how many practically useless revenants are out there. He’s sure just thinking this is considered some sort of blasphemy among Reapers, but as he wasn’t struck down by an eldritch being yet, it’s safe to say he’s free to continue looking down at them.

He knows deep down it’s not their powers that bother him. Hell, Garrick’s Gravity manipulation isn’t that lethal, but the Sergeant knows how to effectively use it to his advantage.

Ghost simply can’t see himself working with any of them. He understands they’re in desperate need for more taskforce members, no matter how strong its three revenants are, but if they’re about to add a forth, he better be useful.

Scouring the table, Ghost realizes he went through all folders already. Price picks up on that.

“None of them up to your standard?”

Ghost crosses his arms, “not in the slightest”.

He spots a personal file on a cabinet on Price’s left, “what’s with that one?” he nods towards it.

Price turns his head, “ah, he’s currently on a long term assignment. Higher ups aren’t gonna let that one transfer so easily.”

Ghost’s interest was piqued, and he leaned to grab it. Price didn’t stop him, but he had a weird glint in his eyes. Ghost gets the feeling this outcome wasn’t unplanned.

He opens the folder and a pair of familiar blue eyes stare back. He looks up at Price.

The captain tilts his head, “well? In terms of strength, no one gets close to MacTavish. I’d dare say you and him could be evenly matched-”

“I’ll take him.”

Price falters, “what?”

“I’ll accept a new member if it was Soap.” Ghost states, leaving no room for argument. A bubbling feeling of excitement washes through him, in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time. The mountains of questions Soap left behind him come back to the forefront of his mind. 

And he feels… hopeful.

Price shakes the surprise off his features, and he looks tiredly at the file, “...I can’t promise any miracles, but I’ll do my best to get him.” He takes out a well deserved cigar, “I trust your judgment.”

“Thank you Captain”, the words don’t encapsulate just how grateful Ghost is.

“Now scram, I have about 50 calls to make.” Price waves his hand and picks up the phone. Ghost makes his exit before the Captain changes his mind.

Garrick returns from his assignment the following morning. The reason Ghost knows that is he watches the door to mess being slammed open while he tries to drink his morning tea.

“GHOST!” Gaz shouts, swiveling his head side to side, searching for him. Sometimes Ghost wishes he could actually go invisible like some rumors suggest.

But alas, he finds him quickly enough, and rushes to his table, uncaring of the several heads following his actions. 

“Garrick” Ghost greets him, “how was the missio-”.

“We’re getting a new 141 member?!” Gaz cut him off, the excitement in his voice palpable, and he visibly starts floating a few inches off ground. Ghost tries to be annoyed with him, but he always found Gaz’s more energetic approach to life endearing.

“Nothing’s final yet, settle down.”

“But you know who it is, right?” Gaz sits in the chair in front of him, “c’mon, you gotta tell me!”

Ghost considers lying and saying he has no clue either, but he figures he might as well rip the band-aid now.

“It’s Sergeant MacTavish.” he tries to sound bored.

By the mischievous look on Garrick, he knows he failed miserably, “ohoho Ghost… Did you suggest your mysterious Sergeant to Price?” he grins like the menace he is, “seems like you won’t be able to hide what happened on ‘The Mission’ for much longer-”

Ghost slams his mug on the table, “nothing to hide, Sergeant.”

But Gaz is already 3 steps ahead in his brain, “I’ve heard he can create explosions, you think he could shoot up like a rocket? Could work well with my powers…”

Ghost stands up and groans, “he’s not a bloody spaceship Gaz, fuckin’ hell…”

He has a feeling Garrick and MacTavish will get along just fine.

The following days are… weird. Ghost never waited in anticipation for something as impatiently as he does right now. The clock seems to tick at a snail’s pace, and he finds his focus impaired. Thank his Reaper he’s not on a mission right about now…

Price is practically living in his office, constantly making calls and going through document after document. From what he understands, Soap is highly sought after for his explosion immunity, the best defuser there is.

Ghost is bitterly reminded of the huge pile of medical records in his personal file. That taste he rather not chase.

As for Gaz… His excitement grows by the day. It reminds Ghost that while the Sergeant is very friendly and always finds someone to talk to, he’s also one of the very few revenants on base.

He wonders if it feels as alienating as it does for him from time to time.

It’s not for 2 weeks later that he and Gaz are summoned to Price’s office. The place reeks of cigar smoke, and Price himself looks like he’s in need of at least 24 hours of sleep. But a triumphant attitude emanates from him in waves, and Ghost knows before he even opens his mouth what he’s about to say.

“It wasn’t easy, and I had to use every connection I had up there, but I got great news for you lads.”

Gaz smiles brightly, and turns his head to look at Ghost.

“I can finally say Sergeant Soap MacTavish is officially a member of the 141”.

Garrick cheers and floats high enough that Ghost has to drag him down before he slams his head against the ceiling, and sees the Captain’s expression shift.

“But…” Ghost starts for him. Of course this wouldn’t be this simple, nothing ever is.

Price exhales loudly, “Soap still has a couple of unfinished missions he will need to attend before he can join us fully.”

Gaz finally picks up on the mood shift, ‘...he will still be with us on base though, right?”

“Yes”, the Captain scratches under his iconic hat, and not for the first time Ghost wonders if it’s glued on with the way it refuses to fall off, “he will train with us, so take those few weeks as an opportunity to learn to work together. He’s quite powerful, and I think you will find… creative ways to work together.” with that last sentence, he glances at Ghost. Curious.

“When will the Sergeant arrive?” Ghost asks.

Price takes a quick look at the calendar, “3 days, early morning.”

That sends Garrick on a marathon of questions to Price, and Ghost retreats to into his mind.

3 days… 3 days and he will see those flames dance again. That Scottish lilt and crooked smile. 

Ghost feels his mouth stretch in a hesitant smile, as if the muscles almost forgot the movement, and notices Price mirroring it.

Perhaps he could give a chance to hope.

Thank you all for reading and commenting! I appreciate it a lot <3

[starry-blue-echoes]

Okay, I just got here. Sorry for intruding and I'm kind of freaking out about part 4 of Star Swap.

Because there are two Jotaros. Why is nobody talking about the fact that there are two Jotaros? Am I missing something??? 

Unless I am completely failing in Star Swap lore, in order to not become super convoluted and insane, a universe is localized to a Swap… probably? Anyway from what I understand three universes have an event happening in them and Star Swap is a series… except there's also an OLDER Jotaro here in Part 4! which would be the same Jotaro that experienced part 4 as Josuke! Which is causing problems in my brain.

… I was thinking it's either Joseph and Giono is the exception -Thanks to Hermit Purple Rrequiem- and swaps actually jumps across universes making Older Part 4 Jotaro have that Canon backstory.

…Or… hear me out..

 JoJo

 Specifically, Jotaro gets some of that Time Jumpy Amnesia and has not a single fucking clue what happened to himself.

JUST HIM 

No one else

He is the sole one that gets bonk with a forgot stick

For all Jotaro knows: he blacked out, got possessed, and went to Egypt. Everything went well. His mom got cured and people survived, but STILL. said person that possessed him made a bunch of friends and now Jotaro has to deal with them. HE has to rely on other people's information to figure out what the hell HAPPENED.

Jotaro still gets that Battle Experience in and gets those cryptic forgotten fog of memories from the trip But Yeah

Jotaro has no idea what happened to him when that guy was possessing him. Jotaro doesn't know! he doesn't remember shit!!! All people got is theories.

I have a lot of thoughts and this is probably not even an issue.ARGGGG

.. I'm here thinking that for The Star Swap parts 3 and 4 to connect in an interesting way is Memory Blockage or else Part 4 Older Jotaro would have to walk on fucking eggshells if something wasn't blocking his memories because if he talks or says anything that doesn't link up then he breaks time. Jotaro's fault for actively getting involved!

Probably. I don't know!!! I'm just thinking!!! 

you're correct, Parts 3 and 4 have been criminally neglected amongst all this chaos, so this is p e r f e c t

to clarify the universe shenanigans of everything: I've always been thinking that each "set" exists in its own universe. 1 and 6, 2 and 5, and then 3 and 4 all exist in their own sort of "pocket universe" just so we don't need to keep track of of all the inevitable changes and how they influence each other

that being said, funnily enough what you've brought up with Jotaro is REALLY close to what I've been imagining too!

Jotaro is So Fucking Lost when he wakes up back home. He feels like complete and utter shit and is covered in more bandages than he's ever had before. The last thing he remembers is his mom leaving after visiting him in the prison cell after he tried to shoot himself with Star Platinum

only...... when did Star Platinum have a name? When had it stopped being an evil spirit?

when had he stopped being scared of it?

Kakyoin and Joseph are of course INCREDIBLY worried by Jotaro's apparent and very sudden shift in personality. And of course, this panic only multiplies when they find they think Jotaro's stand has been changed as well. They immediately think it's a Stand attack......

but then Holly steps forward and denies this. That this is how Jotaro normally acts and more importantly, that she remembers seeing Star in the jail

now, technically this might be bending the rules a little bit, but I think it would be interesting to give Holly some..... memory weirdness. Maybe we can tie it into her Stand somehow, or maybe it's just For The Plot, but Holly has two distinct sets of memories before she collapsed from her illness

One where Jotaro comes home with her, quiet and awkward and open in a way he hadn't been since he was a child. And another where he refused to leave and shot himself in an attempt to goad a spirit hovering over his shoulder

this then raises the incredibly uncomfortable idea that the Jotaro they'd gone to Egypt with was the imposter. That there had been a fake in their midst the entire time and they never knew. Was he working with Dio? Another group? What was his goal? Why had he done it? And of course, the biggest question of all, where was Jotaro the entire time and why doesn't he remember?

because it's obvious Jotaro was somewhere. He has skills and knowledge he hadn't before. He's different, he's grown in some ways, but has receded in others

Electricity and loud sounds terrify him in a way that can't be described as simple fear

they do what they can to help and figure things out, but they can never find any leads. It actually during these investigations that Jotaro decides to start working with the Speedwagon Foundation on the side and "rekindles" his friendships with the Crusaders

(he finds himself drawn to Kakyoin at times. Or to be more specific, he's drawn to his Stand. The colors and shapes and eyes all feel so tantalizingly familiar, and sometimes he finds himself talking to the being as if expecting a response)

years go by, and the fog around his memories stays. It bothers him less as more time passes and he makes new memories with people who had a headstart on their relationship, but there's always a quiet niggling in the back of his mind about what could've happened

and then a decade later he finds a boy with a different face but identical Stand and temperament to match

[k-dokja]

synopsis: headache count: the amount of times gojo satoru opens his mouth to speak |

timeline: second year, 65-66 parallel

characters feature: geto suguru, gojo satoru.

relationship: classmates, friends. gojo is into the reader but not serious about it. geto is into the reader but not really doing anything about it.

notes: ooc as hell since i'm trying to narrow them down.

you weren't there for it, but you heard about it.

upon returning from your own solo mission, you are informed of the mistakes made by your fellow classmates. apparently, the three of them have all forgotten to put up the curtains while exterminating the cursed spirits, with satoru at the helm of the problem. vaguely, you had thought this would happen, with how often you are responsible for it when you're out with satoru.

to see it actually plays into reality, you only want to slap your forehead.

it was to be expected. he's arrogant and reckless. you can't deny his strength, but you can condemn his flaws. suguru might be the sweeter one of the two, but he's no better. if anything, you only have shoko to rely on with holding their brain cells together.

but apparently, that's too much to ask for.

although, for once, you aren't going to give them slack about it. you're tired enough from your mission, you don't need to add satoru to the list of problems you have to deal with. not that he ever likes to make anything easy.

with any luck, they'd be too ashamed of their mistake to talk about it by the time you return to class. but you know you'd never be that fortunate. in fact, you should've expected something worse to happen.

that way, when you're within the threshold of your classroom, your eyes wouldn't roll far back up your head when you hear satoru and suguru bickering. your irritation barely gives you time to react when shoko dashes out past you. briefly, you wonder if she even noticed your return with her haste to escape the fight.

you slide the door open with more force than necessary. as expected, that succeeds in breaking the tension between them by pulling their attention towards you.

"are you guys honestly fighting? is there a limit to your stupidity?"

ignoring the fact you straight-up called him stupid not a second earlier, "you're home!" satoru bounces towards you from his seat close to the door. reflexively, your hand raises to block his head before he can crash into you.

"i thought you wouldn't come back until tomorrow?" and ignoring your block, he continues to make grabby hands towards you.

"i finished early," you purposefully angle yourself away from satoru, but you know he isn't trying very hard. at least, not with the difference between his arm's length and yours.

"welcome back," suguru smiles pleasantly at you, the ire he has towards satoru the moment before dissipating. instead, it's replaced by the warmth of unspoken affection. "it's nice to have you with us again."

you smile back at him, "thanks, it's definitely better to be off-duty for a little while," you say, "can't say the same for the two of you, though."

suguru arches an eyebrow at your statement, but before he can ask anything, you step aside to let yaga-sensei enter. as your teacher takes the podium to settle them down, you take your seat next to satoru's. hearing him catching the boys up about their mission with the star vessel gives you a moment to take a breath.

idly, you think about your next mission. you only have a day or two to recharge before the next one requires you to be on the go. this schedule keeps you active and busy, but you can't deny you've missed working in a group a little.

as if sensing your thoughts, satoru speaks up, "wait, just the two of us?" he pulls you to him at the waist, grinning up at yaga-sensei, "can we bring her with us?"

you knock him on the head, "don't talk about me like i'm some pet poodle to carry around, i have my own mission to deal with," you grumble, "besides, it'd be an overkill to bring the three of us. i'm resource better spent elsewhere than babysitting the two of you."

yaga-sensei reaffirms your words, "she's right. all three of you are extraordinary at your age, but master tengen believes the two of you are enough. unless in case of emergency, you and geto will be the ones responsible for this mission."

you give satoru a sideway glance that basically says "see?" but he only pouts in answer. his foul mood is nothing but a charade and neither you nor suguru bothers to do anything about it. yet, satoru doesn’t relent his hold on you. exasperated, your eyes meet suguru's, he only smiles in sympathy but once again leaves you to fend for your device.

truly, you have no ally in this hell hole of a class.

[radiant-reid]

Hi Cate! So long since I've been active here! How have you been?

I wanted to request some of your beautiful writing, something about Spencer being a step-dad to a toddler? 💗 Please and thank you :)

oh this is the cutest thing ever, i love dad!spencer so much, not matter which way he comes

"No! No! No!" Olive screams, karate-chopping the block tower she and Spencer have been working on over while she cries. "I'm not going to bed."

"Baby." You say, holding her hands and trying to calm her down. "I think you need a nap. Then when you wake up, we can go to the park afterward."

She pulls away from you, still angry. "No!" She yells one more time before running down the hallway and slamming her door shut.

You sigh as you sit back on the couch with Spencer, who just watched your daughter's tantrum. "I'm sorry." You apologize, an instinct engrained in your brain.

"I get it." He assures you. "Kids are like that."

"What, little assholes?" You joke, laughing to yourself. "I think her molars are coming through. I just really didn't want her ruining Sunday."

Spencer takes your hand, kissing the back of it. "She couldn't ruin anything." He reminds you. "Maybe just a structural marvel of a block tower." That gets you laughing and relieved he's not put off by the fact you have a kid. You always appreciate being retold that, even if he tells you often. "Can I go talk to her? Please?"

You're not about to turn down the gift of having someone else deal with her tantrum. "Go for it."

He even smiles as he leaves, and you couldn't be more delighted to have him as a boyfriend. Most guys would have bailed, but Spencer jumps at the opportunity to help you out.

"Hi." He knocks on her bedroom door. "Can I come in?"

"Fine." She agrees, pulling the door open before going to sit on her bed, so she's facing away from him. Just a simple act of defiance.

Spencer walks over to kneel in front of her. "Do you want to talk to me, petal?"

Her furious expression and furrowed eyebrows fade away quickly, and she starts sobbing again, reaching out to wrap her arms around his neck.

"Oh, hey, it's okay," Spencer assures her, standing up as she hugs him tightly to bounce her up and down.

She cries into his neck for a full minute, and he's surprised there are so many tears in her tiny body. When she's finished, he sits her back on the bed.

"'m sorry." She says, looking down at her lap.

"That's okay." He tells her. "You're allowed to have big feelings. Your teeth hurt, huh?"

She nods, still pouting, before opening her mouth to point at her back left molar. "Are you not mad that I broke our tower?"

"Not at all." He assures you. "We can remake it... maybe after you take a nap?"

"Will you read to me?" She asks shyly.

He gets up to pick out the book they were reading before lying on her bed. She settles down next to him, where she can see the pictures. "Let me rub it?" He offers, pressing his finger to her lips.

She nods sleepily, opening her mouth so he can gently circle the sore spot on her gums. She falls asleep quickly, a mix of being overtired, the relief from her teething pain, and being read to.

You venture down the hallway to make sure Spencer's still alive, and your heart melts when you see the two of them. He's not even reading anymore, just resting there with her while trying to soothe her pain.

"I can feel you staring, sweetheart." He informs you in a whisper, looking over at you.

You walk over to his side, bending down to kiss him. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." He tells you. "And this little angel."

[hereforthefunnyguys]

okay okay marik ishtar getting psychosexual in the club brain time. (Sorry in advance for the bigass text block. also if you are an ace/aro marik truther then A) I can see it but also B) this is very much not that. be forewarned.) I know things along these lines have been said before, but I truly cannot picture him being some kind of crazily sexually/romantically liberated flirt like you see a lot in fanon. Feel free to argue with me if you want in the reblogs or comments or whatever I am not sure about what I'm saying here. (+1500 words of Help Me under the readmore!)

He grew up underground, with no one else around but his abusive highly religious dad, personal manservant/extremely protective brother figure, and what seems to be the only even somewhat normal family relationship he has with his sister that's almost as isolated and frankly seems moderately socially awkward outside of telling mysterious prophecies. I do not think he was not getting Helpful and Informative Sex Ed, to say the least, and also if/when he started going through puberty he would have functionally nowhere to project those urges. Maybe he can get a crush on a particularly well-drawn wall carving or statue idk but the point is that he doesn't have any actual human reference for what the feelings mean other than his immediate family which is a uhhhhhh different and much more uncomfortable conversation!

Also, even when he and Rishid finally get out of there and start up the Ghouls, I don't think Rishid would bother with telling him about sex and romance as he gets older - if anything, he would be less likely to tell him, because if there's one thing Rishid would want to do as little as possible, it would be to allow more opportunities for Marik to act out in more "depraved" ways - I mean, come on, the guy already forces people to commit suicide, brainwashes them to fight in death matches, and do weird little dances in public for his entertainment (I know that one isn't as intimidating as the other ones, but I do think it's important to establish the sheer level of pettiness and self-indulgence he's at by this point.)

We've already established by this point that his ability to empathize and sympathize with other people is currently somewhere at the bottom of the Marianas trench, assuming he may not have had low empathy before then, which he might've judging by how he treats his siblings (diversity win! the arc villain has low-functioning empathy!), though that may also be due to being the "favorite" and getting what he wants all the time and not being raised to consider them real people on par with him and his father. But I digress. I do think Rishid would be at least considering the ways that those behaviors would intersect with teenage hormones, to say the least (plus the whole Yami Marik thing, which I'll discuss. Later.)

But by contrast, I don't think it makes sense to say Marik's completely innocent to the concept - he may be a very socially isolated 16 year old, but he's still like. a 16 year old. He regularly pries inside of peoples heads to manipulate them, and if you go by anime canon, he is definitely aware of very strong romantic feelings (and therefore possibly sexual ones, though maybe not? arkana ace king ig) in the form of arkana/pandora's little anime lost love scenario. Also, I think its fair to assume a Good Number of the Ghouls would possess sexual or romantic feelings as well. However. However. I am going to go out on a limb and say that learning about sex from people's personal fantasies is to sex ed what learning about how to cook from Hell's Kitchen is to chef college; everything you absorb is overdramatic, unrealistic, extremely emotionally charged, and often involves a surprising amount of violence and degradation for a day-to-day activity.

I'm going to say Marik then is Aware of sex, but doesn't fully "get" it. Like. It makes him uncomfortable to think about it for too long, and in general, it's just something Other People do. It's something he can use to get close to people (sign that says ASK ME ABOUT FEMME FATALE MARIK ISHTAR PROPAGANDA), but its not really something he fully accepts as something he would do just for the sake of it. He's aware of it, but it's still a moderately alien concept to him, at least that's how he would think about it.

Additionally, I don't think his vision of romantic love is going to be any better. In between societies massive effort to romanticize (ehehe) those specific feelings as the end-all-be-all of affection and the fact that, again, he didn't really grow up with anyone (and still really doesn't have another outlet) other than his dad and siblings as who he "loves" - I do think he loves his siblings, and, tragically enough, probably his father as well. (Thats something else people ignore a ton. We as The Audience do not like Peepaw Ishtar but Marik himself has NO clue what he did was wrong or bad or unforgivable. If anything Marik considers himself the problem for not being able to take it. But that's another convo. God I'm going all over the place today.) Anyways what I'm trying to say here is that Marik probably sees romantic love as something that's present and he should Want but doesn't quite fully understand the emotional implications of it or investment necessary to make it work. If anything he would know less about romance since while old Egyptian myths do mention sex and sexuality with fair regularity - albeit not with much that would help a clueless 12 year old that associates said myths with his imprisonment and doom - there is very little talk of True Love in there. The fact that his knowledge of marriage extends to "my mother died a horrible painful death in childbirth having me and my dad didn't really care" probably is not helping matters!

Also tying this all together is the fact that Marik seems to have a Fraught and Uneasy relationship with his own body, to say the least. Like. I'm just going to go out on a limb and say he seems to consider it just another damp, dark prison he's stuck in, one that has done nothing other than provide an easy way to hurt him and keeps him tied to the Tombkeeper legacy. And who wouldn't? The guy has a massive scar carved into his back permanently reminding him of how trapped he really. Additionally, that's another barrier to intimacy, since there's no way on Earth he's letting anyone touch his back without an INSANE amount of trust - I imagine even Rishid is somewhat suspect in allowing him to touch his back.

The only time he seems really happy is when he gets to extend his mind outside of himself, into other people's brains and giving him a sense of power in an otherwise very controlled life. So that's definitely one barrier there! How do you even begin trying to make your body feel good when all your body has felt like all your life is completely awful? Especially when it would involve letting another person have access to it in a very vulnerable state??? Nuh uh no way thank you sir but we're staying repressed forever and shoving any and all Perverse Urges into a box deep deep in our Mind Room and ignoring them until we die, which we never will because we're Special. This is to say nothing of the fact that one of his tombkeepers duties is theoretically to procreate and create a new generation of keepers which is. Wow. Another conversation entirely but for our purposes means that he already is not going to have a good relationship to that! (Bonus points if it turns out he's homosexual. I'm not saying he is gay, but layering the Problems with "not attracted to women" would be an interesting intersection.)

Anyways the cherry on top of this miserable sundae is the Existence of Yami Marik, the Good-Times Ruiner. Point number one: in between the weird sadomasochism thing he has going on and the fact that he seems significantly more physically and emotionally liberated than Marik, I think it would be fair to call him a moderately sexualized character, though not a straight-up succubus (yes I am aware the term for men is Incubus. quiet).

Point number two: Yami Marik is generally seen to represent Marik's repressed urges and grudges, so we can pretty easily make the assumption that Yami Marik being sexualized comes from an attempt to absolve Marik of such uncomfortable distractions. So there is the thought there that he considers his sexual urges on par with or at least related to his violent and vengeful ones.

Point number three: You would have thought that at least partially realizing this by the end of Battle City would result in Marik realizing he should stop repressing his emotions. But it won't! Because that's not how that Highly Functional Ishtar Brain works! It goes "I now associate sexuality with one of the worst and most publicly humiliating and traumatic times of my life, so I now consider it an Active Problem to get rid of instead of just a uncomfortable quirk of mine." So no actually I think he would be getting worse! Someone send him to a therapist please or at least figure out a way for him not to simultaneously hate himself while still hating everyone else More.

anyways tl;dr: Marik ishtar knows about an extremely warped version of sex but good lord he is repressing it fifteen feet underground. Again feel free to argue with me if you want I'd like to hear other opinions. Anyways hope yall have a nice day and thanks for reading thru all of that!

[magemelondew]

Hi again, follow up question, can I have facts about Arc? (I love their design sm)

YES! I would love to! Sorry for delayed response.. life happens. There's just.. so much to say about Arc. They are just...mmmmmm!!!! so blorbo!!!

Not only are they the funniest damn guy, they're a pseudo-mascot of the rp discord server I'm in!

(Art by @azul1462, p1nkwub on discord, @actualsquid, and @ieattoothpasteveevo !!)

They're!!! Like a big ol' lizard!! And my absolute dork.

There's also a running joke where if you say the word "arc" in any way, Arc will magically appear to say hello. Nobody is safe. But people love it!! And I love Arc's eccentric mad scientist nature.

Arc uses They/He pronouns, and while they prefer they/them, he/him is appropriate too if that is easier for the other person to refer to them as. They have a preference for they pronouns because it refers to both Ray and Spark! And while Arc finds great pleasure in individuality, they can't deny that the two other wubboxes are responsible for their existence at all.

As for their personality, they're very outgoing, adventurous, but still remain very welcoming and cheery. They can't stay in one place, and are constantly on the move. They want to know all there is to know about the observable universe, that being the main driver for their expeditions. Often they can absolutely explode with questions, asking too many at one time from pent-up excitement. Anyone that Arc has ever had interest in will know how little they understand personal bubbles.

Arc can absolutely flip on a dime, and are mildly unpredictable. Fortunately, they have the sensibilities of Spark, something that did not exist in the original rare wubbox, and is still exploring this part of themselves.

I've gone over this before, I think, but Arc is a wubbox fusion! The wubboxes involved are Ray and Spark, the two dorkiest wubboxes, and the two sides of Arc, like the right and left brain.

Spark is constantly anxious, incredibly sweet, and also the emotion and musical part of Arc's mind. He keeps the emotional connections to memories, but does not have the memories himself. He's very musically inclined, and can remember voices and songs.. but not names or faces. He only becomes stable enough to stand on his own when melded with Ray, and that's where his character really shines through. He always seems to be trembling like a newborn puppy, and only feels normal around Ray.

Ray, on the other hand, is logical, brash, and ever-curious about fucking everything ever. He gets himself in danger as a result, and can explode with questions. He has all the information, and is more than happy to tell you everything he knows, but he has no emotional attachments to any of them. Ray often feels very empty as a result, and where there would be other feelings are replaced with anger. He has quite the temperament, and can get angry when he doesn't get what he wants out of a inability to understand in the emotional sense.

Often when Arc is feeling absolutely fantastic, both sides actually lose individuality, but the worse they feel, the more separate. But it can be somewhat controlled, such as when Ray and Spark make calculated movements like dancing and running, they work in tandem. Although when they are asking questions, they work separately, Spark asking the questions Ray comes up with as he writes and observes. It should be assumed, but they can actively hear each other's thoughts at all times.. unless they get into an argument, then the separation begins to occur.

They love music with a passion, and are always listening to a song through their headphones! They actually have very sensitive hearing, and the headphones work to block out sound and to provide music for the Spark in him, who finds himself needing it sometimes when he gets too stressed out or when he needs a break, leaving Ray in control.

Ray and Spark both receive euphoria in this state as well, both receiving the lacking elements of the other. When necessary or wanted, though, they can take control individually as well of the body.

For example, Arc can write and participate in a conversation at the same time, the writing being Ray, and the expressing being Spark. Often times, Arc will use Ray's handwriting for notes since it is robotic and clean. Spark's handwriting is a fucking pain to read, but it is full of character, being very shaky and expressive. Arc never uses this one. But the two sides can work to make an in-between, which is both clean enough to read, yet still looks like genuine handwriting! This one is used for personal uses, such as writing journal entries about their day, or letters to others.

Not only this, but while it may seem as Spark is unstable, as is Ray, feelings of anger can split the two, not only sadness. And while disagreements are rare, they do happen. And so if both sides fight, then the two are individuals again.

If u want to know Anything else about my sweetheart boy pls ask me!!! Hee hee!! All other characters are free for questioning too, and you can even speak to them directly if you'd like!

[butterflydm]

wot on prime rewatch: 1x6 the flame of tar valon (part 1)

spoilers through the end of season one of the wheel of time. I will do a reblog of this soon after I post it, with additional book-related spoilers. This is only for the first half of the episode, because my brain was getting overwhelmed with the idea of doing all of it, so I broke it in half. It splits right around the 30min mark.

1. We open this episode with BABY SIUAN (and Tear). I love the set design for the Sanche house and that Siuan is sleeping in a hammock. The relationship between Siuan and her dad (Berden, the subtitles say) is very sweet as well. I love all the fishing-related terms of conversation used here as well (so true to Siuan in the books lol). We learn that her dad does fully know that she can channel but that they have a rule that she doesn’t do it in sight of the village. “A wise woman knows the breaking point of her line”.

2. We have been slowly building up “what people think about Aes Sedai” over the course of the season -- there’s some wariness in the Two Rivers, the Whitecloaks call them witches and actively hunt and kill them, when Moiraine was capsizing the ferry the ferryman said that the Whitecloaks “were right” about Aes Sedai, Thom expressed over concern over Aes Sedai potentially targeting Mat in episode four, and now we get the Sanche house being burned down because someone saw that baby!Siuan could channel. We also get our first deliberate Dragon’s Fang drawn on someone’s property, illustrated rather than verbally explained.

3. They’ve been found out, so Berden sends Siuan off to Tar Valon with their boat and some advice - practice her network manually, don’t solely rely on the Power. She asks when she can come home and he answers, “When it’s safe in Tear for girls like you.” This scene grips my heart. He loves his daughter and is so proud of her! And he sends her away both to keep her safe but also so that she is able to reach her full potential. “daughter of the river, clever as a pike, strong as the tides.” <3 And we get some very important information here that Tear is NOT a safe place to channel/be Aes Sedai. Love the music here too.

4. The episode proper starts with Siuan Being Announced and the intense look in Moiraine’s eyes. We get to see everyone dressed up in their fancy wear! I love how we can see all the different cultures’ fashions reflected in the different clothing choices. They’re all formal but in different ways. Siuan’s entrance is VERY majestic and I love the Seat itself. Love the big overhead shot that pulls back and back to show us how tall the Tower is. I have to admit, I understand zero (0) of the aesthetic-based critique of this show, because I just think it looks SO gorgeous. What about any of this looks cheap? I am baffled, I swear.

5. Notes about the Sisters! Okay, they are arranged like so, clockwise out from the Amyrlin Seat - Red Ajah, an ajah we don’t know yet, Yellow Ajah, Blue Ajah, two more that we haven’t been introduced to yet, ending on Green. We can see that each set of Sisters comes in three but the middle seat for the Green Ajah is empty (was Kerene a Sitter?). This is the first time that show-only viewers would get to see all the different types of Ajah. The framing here on Moiraine is so good because though she has her current companions (Liandrin & Alanna) framing her in the foreground, she’s framed by two of the Blue Sisters in the background. The visual depth! What we’re being told about the characters simply via blocking! I feel like part of the reason that the Ajahs are in the order around the room that they are is so that we can have that great blocking with Moiraine.

6. I love how overwhelmed Moiraine looks to be facing Siuan. On a first watch, it can be read just the way the other Aes Sedai are reading it but Once You Know, then it’s just so much more delicious.

7. Haha, the stole is kinda odd -- I think in the books it’s more like a big scarf or something? idk fashion don’t judge me. It’s very pastel here. But her fancy clothes are so fancy! It’s such a good contrast for what we will see her wearing later on in the episode.

8. The first event of the episode is Logain being brought in for Siuan’s judgement. (and here is where my rewatch paused for several weeks as my brain tried to tell me that I needed to be Very Thoughtful and Very Incisive when that is not, in fact, actually a requirement for rewatching episodes of TV. So from this point on in the rewatch, I am trying to be less hard on myself! The problem is that I do find the episodes very rich and there’s a lot to talk about... and then I’ve accidentally overwhelmed myself lol)

9. After Logain is brought in, Siuan has his chains removed because, “gentled as he is, he poses no threat” which I imagine only made everything sting even more for Logain, tbh. He’s not even a threat anymore. Still, Siuan starts into what I assume are the traditional forms of the trial, asking Logain if he knows why he’s here. Logain goes on the (verbal) attack, telling Siuan that the world is beginning to see the Aes Sedai as weak, the further you are from the Tower. In addition to the acting (which is great), I also really like this section because we do some closer shots on all the Sitters, which is great for pausing and checking out their outfits and vibes. We have at least another couple of Aes Sedai wearing pants, which I still find exciting. I do think (though I would have to check the wiki to be sure) that the show shook up the composition of the Sitters to make them less weighted towards Andorans and that we get a wider set of cultural backgrounds.

10. Logain is, of course, also trying to incite Siuan into killing him so that he doesn’t have to live with being gentled. Siuan does realize what he’s trying to do and tells him that he is going to have to live out a long life. Interestingly, she seems to believe that the madness will continue to progress. I’m not sure if we know one way or another from the books? Logain tried to get under Siuan’s skin and make her react publicly and failed, while she DOES succeed in getting to him and he begs her to kill him. Though he’s definitely emotionally vulnerable in a way that she is not, given that he’s been gentled.

11. After Logain has been judged, it is now time to judge Liandrin, Alanna, and Moiraine for their extrajudicial gentling of Logain (as the three strongest channelers among the surviving Aes Sedai). Here, Siuan takes a stand for the law and for holding to a certain standard when in times of fighting/war, while Liandrin argues, essentially, that there are no rules in war. Because Logain killed one of their companions, he deserved harsher consequences than their rules more normally allow, she argues.

12. When Siuan says that, as the person in charge, Liandrin must face the consequences for her decision, Liandrin then goes in for a major distraction tactic - she throws Moiraine under the bus to get the attention off of what Liandrin did in breaking the rules and trying to get everyone to focus onto the fact that, omg, Moiraine has a secret, everyone! Come and learn about Moiraine’s secret that she should have told the rest of the class about! And, in doing so, she throws Nynaeve out for the wolves as well, by letting all the Sitters know that a very powerful potential is currently in the Tower and not a novice. Also, Liandrin calls Moiraine “Sis” here which I find DELIGHTFUL and HILARIOUS and I want more.

13. Siuan continues to do a good job at not getting distracted away from her purpose, just as she did when Logain tried to rattle her, and asks Liandrin what the point of her tangent is. Unfortunately, Liandrin was prepared for this too and she has an entire speech -- directed at the Sitters and not at the Amrylin -- about how Moiraine is a loose cannon who needs to be taken back under the firm hand of the White Tower. And Liandrin is able to twist the situation into being such that Siuan HAS to ask Moiraine her purpose in order not to be accused of overly favoring the Blue Ajah. And Moiraine has to say that she is unwilling to say, because she can’t actually be honest about what she’s doing because it’s such a delicate situation (and, right now, complicated by the fact that she lost all four potential Dragons and hasn’t found them again). So Liandrin is able to take a situation where the main punishment was firmly directed at her, the person who exacted “battlefield justice” on Logain, and instead redirect that punishment towards Moiraine. And she’s able to do that because she breaks the social norms of the Tower --  gentling Logain and saying that she believes Siuan still sympathizes with the Blue Ajah over the others are both examples of this same kind of behavior, though different in degree.

14. In general, the politics in this episode just- light my brain on fire, I really loved them. We also get a helpful timeline drop, in finding out that Moiraine last left the Tower two years ago. There’s also a great interplay between Moiraine and Siuan here (of course) as they try to communicate between the lines even as they’re re-inforcing the general belief in the Tower that they have had a falling out (by the line of attack Siuan uses, I think they implied they’re ‘falling out’ was over class-related differences, about Moiraine using her family name against Siuan at some point). I do love how we can see the Sitters react to Moiraine’s noble rank being brought up. Like, you kinda get the feeling that the Moiraine-Siuan breakup was basically like the White Tower’s soap opera. Also! This seems like an early hint from Rafe & co that we will possibly get more focus on Moiraine’s relatives and her connection to them, since we also got that line about her being from a ‘fallen house’ earlier in the season. But, yeah, Liandrin was able to swerve the punishment from being focused on her to being focused on Moiraine.

15. After the meeting ends, Alanna recommends to Moiraine that she publicly apologize to Siuan to soothe her anger, and Moiraine says it’s pointless. Also, one of Alanna’s Warders is Right There to hand her a post-judgement fruit. What a great boyfriend/husband/bodyguard. Lan is right there too but where is Moiraine’s post-judgement fruit? She does not get one!

16. Liandrin has already hooked back up with her Mean Girls Clique of fellow Reds. Moiraine and Siuan HAVE definitely fooled Liandrin with their playacting, tho, which was probably a relief for Moiraine to realise. Liandrin does NOT know her anywhere near as well as she thinks. SO intrigued by Liandrin calling her ‘old friend’. Love me some implied history.

17. And now we are out in the city of Tar Valon! Moiraine is taking tea on a lovely circular stone balcony. Very pretty. I love the flooring and how it looks classic and weathered. The stools are neat too, and the shape of the tables. And I like how her dress drapes along the floor. And the lanterns! It’s just very pretty to me and pleases my sense of aesthetics. We see, over her shoulder, that she Has Discovered where Rand and Mat are, as we see Nynaeve and Loial leaving the room. Ah, the detail of the vines creeping up the wall of the window! That’s so pretty! Love the open air vibe of the balconies and it implies a lot about the normal climate of Tar Valon too. Anyway, now that Nynaeve and Loial have left (and Lan confirms this by coming in -- presumably he’s the one who tracked Nynaeve to the room originally as well), Moiraine and Lan head over to collect a pair of wayward potential dragons. Lan has already been able to get a sense of how badly Mat is doing as well.

18. Ah, this is the moment that made me start shipping Cauthor and just brought a whole new dimension to my understanding of Wheel of Time! Rand doesn’t know how to channel (and is in denial that he even can) and doesn’t know how to use a sword, but he tells Moiraine and Lan that he won’t let them hurt Mat. He doesn’t have any clue what he’s doing! Moiraine and Lan can (and do) handle him like a kitten at this point! But he TRIES because Mat matters to him and so he’s going to try to protect him, even if he has the protection power of wet cardboard at the moment. So, of course, I was just hilariously gutted when Mat stayed behind at the end of the episode. I’d only just started shipping it! (luckily, Rand would manage to provide plenty of additional material in episode 7, bless him). And Mat’s exasperated fondness over Rand’s ineffective protectiveness here kinda sealed the deal. He also knows that it’s useless and pointless, but it matters to him that Rand tried anyway (even when he’s deep in his most paranoid mindset! It matters to him and he notices it!). This sort of dynamic is exactly why I tend to ship Friends-to-Lovers more than any other kind of ship.

19. Moiraine and Lan are definite Bosses in this scene, but I am too busy having stars in my eyes over how completely useless Rand is, lol. I just love it so much. This is my catnip. This is my kryptonite. Rafe Judkins reached into my soul and plucked out cauthor and put it on screen. And I didn’t even know I wanted it! And now here it is!

20. Moiraine and Mat are actually united here on agreeing that Mat Cauthon would make for a terrible Dragon Reborn, but then when Mat draws the dagger on her, she realizes that it’s not the madness affecting him but the taint of Shadar Logoth instead and we get a very cool (and icky) scene of her drawing it out of him (temporarily? permanently? I guess we’ll find out in S2). I think the show did a really good job showing us why Mat would have such a low opinion of his own character and also showing us that that’s not who he is. Oh, I am going to miss Barney as Mat. Looking forward to seeing what Donal does, but wow, Barney was fantastic in this role.

21. Rand looks very angelic and also a bit like a confused sheep, in the shot after Mat has had the corruption drawn out of him. Love the way the light is coming through the windows here. Gorgeous. And we can see that doing that for Mat took a LOT out of Moiraine, really drained her. We have this great moment of connection between Rand and Moiraine, because of what he saw her do for Mat. Back when she healed his dad, it was in the wake of their home being attacked and Rand learning that he was... adopted, kinda, so he was not in a receptive place towards Moiraine. He’s more receptive now to looking at things from her perspective and giving her the benefit of the doubt, because he was able to see her struggle with this and to risk herself to help Mat. Rand’s very sincere ‘thank you’ to Moiraine here is really nice, and it feels earned.

22. I do find it fascinating how Rand and Moiraine are STILL talking past each other, even in this scene where Rand is being genuinely grateful. Rand personalizes what Moiraine did -- she took on that evil for Mat -- but for Moiraine it’s greater good based -- she would have done it for any of her potential dragons, because wow it would SUCK for the world if the Dragon Reborn was corrupted by Shadar Logoth. Moiraine is Big Picture here and Rand is still very Small Picture. Rand does also check with Moiraine that if all that was Mat being affected by the dagger, then he isn’t... but Moiraine still says that she doesn’t know. “He’s stronger than he has any right to be. If he weren’t, that dagger would have consumed him weeks ago,” she notes about Mat, post-dagger, and it makes her think that Mat still might be the Dragon. I am 100% on the “Rand was unintentionally healing Mat with the Power during their journey” bandwagon for the show version. It just Makes Sense, and it lines up with the story Nynaeve told about Egwene ~getting better~ from her bone-breaking disease (which she attributed to Egwene being strong but, of course, while Egwene IS strong, Nynaeve also most likely healed her with the Power). She warns Rand to keep a careful watch on Mat, because if he touches the dagger again, “he might be lost forever”.

23. When Nynaeve and Loial return, Moiraine briefly shames Nynaeve for being too prideful to ask for help. So, uh, that relationship is going well.

24. I love this show’s use of non-sexual nudity. The whole scene in the bath-house is great; we get to see Moiraine relaxing while she chats with Maigan. Also, Moiraine trying to avoid the Tower as much as possible. Maigan gives us some tantalizing future plot hooks -- “Ships are disappearing off the West Coast; “Aiel have been spotted this side of the Spine”. Maigan asks Moiraine if she knows how Trollocs got to the Two Rivers undetected but Moiraine doesn’t have an answer. Maigan says that she might go west to track the disappearing ships. Oh, dear. Anyway, Maigan plans to try to convince Siuan to forgive Moiraine, and Maigan wants Moiraine to stay in the Tower on a more permanent basis while she’s gone. Obviously, this goes hard against Moiraine’s own plans.

25. Moiraine is now alerted that her other two potential dragons have been found! She has the whole set. Much like poor Mat was a wreck, poor Perrin is a wreck, but the Yellow Ajah Aes Sedai are healing him. So, Moiraine has contacts among the Yellow Aes Sedai who gave her info here. Hmmm.

26. Egwene shows Moiraine the rings that she took from Valda and tells her that Valda isn’t going to hurt any more Sisters. Oh. Oh, honey. Pretty sure you didn’t kill him. You stabbed him in the shoulder, bb. Love you tho. Egwene tells Moiraine about Perrin’s eyes going golden and Moiraine compares the color to a wolves’ eyes, so Egwene tells her about the wolves attacking the Whitecloaks and Perrin not being afraid about them. Egwene asks if the eyes could mean that Perrin is the Dragon, and Moiraine is basically *shrug emoji*. Moiraine must be so relieved to have Egwene back tbh. Egwene listens to her so much more easily than any of the rest of the Two Rivers’ folk. Also! Loved how green the Yellow Ajah’s healing room is. But it’s another change that... okay, the rest is going in the spoiler reblog.

[echosoftheflower]

A little drabble I wrote in an hour and a half based on a single brain nugget. TCD has me in a chokehold and I can't escape. If it feels unpolished, it's cause I finished and edited it in the middle of math class.

TW for guns, needles, and medical drugs

As they collected themselves and what was left of their recently split group they took in the world around them. The place seemed desolate. The only two things in sight being the player like zombies they had been running from since being dropped in here and, in the distance, a few building-like structures.

As they approached Grian recognized the structures as old warehouses and store fronts, the place likely had been, or made to look like, an urbanized town. Despite the dilapidated appearance of the buildings, they were mostly stone and seemed although they had once held steady. They were built to be used often and withstand weather without constant upkeep, very unlike the more varying and decorative material choices of Hermitcraft and other whitelist servers.

"This place had been residential, there used to have been businesses, and elders, and children here. Oh God, what happened to them? These types of servers are typically peaceful. Most don't even know how to use a sword." Gem murdered in horror

"Just because the server is meant to be peaceful doesn't mean it always is. A residential server can be just as dangerous as any whitelist. More so, as most are perma-death" Grian informed her with a hardened look in his eye.

as they walked closer to the border of the town Grian heard a sound that made his stomach drop and instincts kick into overdrive. The faint click of a gun's magazine being loaded.

His wings automatically snap inwards pressing themselves tight against his back as he drops to the ground for cover. He never was more thankful for his time with Sam, the Mafia, and police force than he was now as the old familiar movements caused him to shout out to his confused friends.

"WERE UNDER FIRE! GET DOWN!"

Suddenly loud and rapid BANG!BANG!BANG!s rang out causing many of the group to cry out in fear, likely not being prepared for such a weapon. The active fire was quick but to Grian's trained ears (of which he was covering to try and block out the noise for multiple reasons. God he hopes Ren is ok with how loud it is.) The fire was a bit too slow, sure faster than any crossbow that's for sure, but nothing close to the borderline automatics he was issued. Maybe it was his memory (finally) failing him, but these shots sounded too spread out, too precise.

The shooting soon stops. The hermits were only under fire for a minute and, due to Grian's quick reaction time, only sustained small injuries. They looked around trying to find where the shots had come from, soon spotting a figure on the top of one of the biggest buildings, seemingly leaning in their direction.

Mumbo, ever the polite one, waves to them. The figure moves back before disappearing for a moment. They reappear soon after, waving something in the air.

"I think we should head that way" Ren declared gesturing towards the strange person.

"Wha-" Grian sputtered "you want to go TOWARDS the person who was just shooting at us?! Are you insane?!"

"Griba, he has a point, '' Pearl started, ignoring Grian's distressed arguments. This is the first person we've seen and, judging from the rest of this place, it makes sense they're a bit jumpy. We probably spooked them"

"We also have to find the others" mumbo added "and I would very much like to get out of the zombies"

"I- well- but-" Grian continued to sputter but as he scrambled for something to say he realized this was probably their best chance. He sighed "....fine... But keep your guard up, we don't need them suddenly turning on us."

They approached the building and found the door barricaded from the inside. There was shuffling heard from inside the building as what sounded like multiple heavy objects were removed with struggle. Soon the door opened, just enough for a human to fit through. The door revealed a person, an eerily familiar person. He had short choppy cut brown hair, military goggles propped up on his head, a bandana laid over a vest holding multiple kinds of ammo. His button up shirt and pants, one leg now torn to the point of shorts, were a mess. His whole outfit was worn and dirty, old and new blood stains creating a sickening pattern. He is covered in everything from scratches to bruises to burns, and that was just the stuff he didn't bother to cover with bandages. He was covered in a multitude of old dirty bandages, anything from proper gauze and bandages to multiple plasters being desperately pasted over a wound that looks better suited towards stitches.

He looked thin, and tired and halfway to being a zombie himself, but his eyes seem to light up as he looked at them with shock, confusion, and hope. But behind it all was a sense of paranoia, the way his eyes flickered behind them, looking them up and down as if searching for weapons or supply.

Despite the bandages on his face hiding most features from sight there was something so achingly familiar about him, as if seeing someone you know’s family without the context they are related.

"Oh my God, I wasn't imagining things. You're actually alive, there are other survivors!" He breathed out in disbelief. But it was his voice, the cadence to his words, that finally struck them on why he was so familiar.

Scar

The group was separated when they first entered the world, scattered about in smaller groups. They had no clue where the others ended up but finally seeing Scar should have been such a relief.

But it wasn't

The man in front of them was missing some key features of their friend. From the skin that was shown, there were missing scars, the one across his nose bridge in particular stood out as missing.

Some of the less weary members of their group were held back to keep from telling the doppelganger anything was off.

"Oh, oh! Get inside quickly! I've cleared out most of the place but there may still be a few stragglers that somehow slipped in." He usured them inside and then promptly began attempting to seal the door again.

The struggle was clear and the reasoning for it was horrifying. The Scar lookalike's leg that was still covered by his pants leg was broken, twisted at an awkward angle. But that's not the worst part (though in this environment it is a pretty distressing reminder of the lack of respawn) no, the worst part is that he didn't seem to care. There was no crutch, no walking stick, no brace or even splint. He just struggled on it as he dragged the heavy looking crates back to block the door..

"I never thought I'd meet other survivors! Though I had considered that maybe there was someone else out there I had stopped looking after the first few weeks, and wow you guys look like your set up good. I look like a really mess out here compared to you." The other Scar excitedly rambled on as he finished blocking the door and started checking his supply, using the wall to make his way over to it.

It reminded Grian of a habit Scar had during the life games, always running a hand on the wall and checking the supplies every time he came in the door, no matter how short the trip.

" Do you guys need anything? This isn't my main base so I don't have much food on hand....Or water....Or medical.... But I can help out in any way I can. Though, you guys don't really look like you're hurting for much."

The look of confusion was back on his face as he looked them up and down once more. "How is that, by the way, I mean, I get perhaps being better off than me but you look like you have the water to spare to regularly clean your clothes. Or enough food to feed you all comfortably. How is that?"

"Oh, well, uhm" Ren began " we aren't really from around here."

The other Scar's eyes narrowed slightly. Seeming to trust them less and less as time goes on.

"You mean you're from a different area? Cause, friend, I've been all around the place and nowhere is safe. They can swim, climb, and crawl just fine."

'What he means is that we are from a different server" Mumbo chimes in, Grian gives him a look. Scar looks confused.

"Other...'server'? Like a computer? Sorry, I'm not really following." The hermits look at him in shock. Grian steps in first.

"How long has the world been like this?" He asked

Scar humed lightly "maybe, let's say.... Few years? Five? Somewhere around there I think. I don't really have a calendar, just an outdated GPS. He held up the device and the thing looked old even by whitelist server standards. It was run on some kind of daylight sensor keeping it charged and using electricity. Residential and peaceful servers were typically known for using electricity over Redstone as they have the people to maintain it and no mobs to worry about damaging or setting it on fire. If tango were here he would probably have snatched up the old thing.

But he says he had been here for a few years and doesn't seem to recognize them at all. Definitely not their Scar, so Pearl asks the next most pressing question. "Who are you? What's your name?"

"This is starting to feel an awful lot like an interrogation" he muttered under his breath "I'll answer but then I get to start asking the questions. My name is R-" he cut himself off before thinking for a moment. Then a mischievous, almost childish smile spread across his face. "Scar." He decided "you can call me Scar."

Other than the realization that that is definitely not his real name. The fact that he apparently shared a name (nickname????) with their friend would have been strange on its own but with all the similarities this was a whole new level.

"Alright, my turn, uhm...what's your guys names first of all. Gosh it's been a bit since I got to know someone." The last part was muttered under his breath but those in the group with advanced hearing heard.

"Well, I'm Gem, the Dog hybrid is Ren, the avian is Grian, that's Pearl, and he's Mumbo" she told him, running through their introductions

"Cool! Cool! And, uh, these servers you were on about? Can't say I'm too familiar."

"Server, you know, like different worlds. People set them up to live on and sometimes they have gimmicks or respawns?"

"Oh! World hoppers! I've heard about you before! My parents sometimes talked about rich people who didn't care for..." He trailed off, clearing his throat, seemingly thinking better of what he was about to repeat. "What brings you here?"

"Yeah, those, we uh, we got turned around and ended up around here. Thought we could ask someone for directions but couldn't find anyone, well, except you." Mumbo explained. "Where are they anyways, the other people I mean."

Scar's face solamed. He averted his gaze from them to stare at the ground

"The Other people?" Scar huffed a half laugh though there was no humor in his eyes. "I'm sure they probably gave you a warm welcome on the way in.

Realization struck the group, those player like mobs...

"You mean- those were-"

"It's nasty what a mutated virus can do."

The group grew silent, comprehending the terrors of what they just learned. It was broken by Scar who was trying to shove himself up using the wall.

"You're bleeding." He stated simply, looking to Ren whose ear got clipped by a stray bullet and various other hermit's injuries. "I have some bandages and, I don't know about where you're from, but here, if you bleed out, you stay dead."

"Mate, I'm not sure if you should be moving. That leg of yours doesn't seem to be in very good shape" Pearl started moving towards him to help.

"Oh, yeah, that, don't worry about that." He laughed nervously "I honestly can't even feel it."

"What?! How can't you feel it?! It's all twisty!" Gem exclaimed.

Scar didn't answer right away, making it over to a chest with the help of Pearl. He carefully began rummaging through it putting most things in his bag but setting aside a half used roll of bandages. Through his rummaging he pulls out of the chest a small, rectangle box. Inside is a syringe with some kind of clear liquid. Grian's eyes widened, glancing back and forth from the needle to Scar.

"Is that-"

"Morphine." Scar interrupted "Found some in a military medical supply and first aid kits. I try to use it sparingly but since I broke my leg it's been hard to move around without it" he puts the syringe away and puts the whole box carefully in his bag.

Grian furrowed his brows. "You should be careful, you could get addicted to that stuff."

Scar raised an eyebrow at him. "When choosing between using it too much and getting addicted and not using enough and dying, I think the choice is pretty clear." Pearl once again helped Scar make his way back over to the group with the bandages as he started to get them patched up.

Mumbo cleared his throat attempting to change the topic. " Sorry, but we actually came here with a group. You haven't happened to see anyone else around, have you?"

Scar shook his head "no, you guys are the first survivors I've seen in...well, in a long time"

"Right, right, of course" Mumbo mumbled "maybe you can help us go look for them?"

Scar looked conflicted, glancing out the window and at his bag. "I...I don't know. It's rough out there and if your friends are unprepared-"

"They are alright" Ren interrupted him, making Scar jump. "They are very good fighters and can adapt, I'm sure"

Scar looked at him, seemingly unconvinced, before once again thinking for a second, then he glanced back at them. "Ok, I can help you navigate and find your friends, on one condition"

Grian eyed him with suspicion, everyone knew scar was a conman, whatever this deal is could very easily leave them worse off than before. Scar leaned closer to them. "I want you to take me with you."

"What?" Gem questioned

Scar brightened up "take me with you, when you leave. After all, in order to leave you need to find your friends, and to find your friends you need me to act as your guide. So it seems only fair that when you leave, I can tag along. Sounds like a pretty clear cut deal to me!"

The hermits glanced at each other. Had this been a stranger then yes! They would have brought him along no problem. Just explain the situation to Xisuma and gain a new hermit. However this guy, he was somehow connected to Scar. Maybe he was another clone or evil counterpart, or worse maybe he was somehow a younger version and they would be destroying the timeline.

To bring him along was dangerous, however he did raise a good argument. Without his knowledge, they won't be able to find their friends, and by proxy the real Scar, at all. And also, one look at the small hope shining in his eyes at just the thought of escape, it twisted their hearts.

"We can't just leave him here," Pearl whispered to Grian.

Grian looked at him, conflicted before those eyes broke him. He sighed. "Yeah, ok, you have a deal"

Scar lit up and started laughing. He seemed to bounce excitedly and, if his leg wasn't messed up, may have gotten up to start pacing. "Oh! Oh good! Trust me you won't regret this. I will be the greatest guide on this side of the apocalypse. You just wait."

He started to stuff all the bandages back into his bag before zipping it up.

"We should head out as soon as day breaks, it's a bit of a walk back to my base and I'm sure you will want to look for your friends on the way. I'm sure we will find them before you can think"

"Really?" Mumbo questioned "because you didn't seem so confident before."

Scar smiled at him though it looked a bit more strained now "well that was different before. Now we just have to find them" his smile slowly fell as he looked towards the barricaded door. "We have to..."

[brisquad-unit-4402]

4402's zombie au notes and commentary

so obviously i started thinking about this au for this request but let me tell u! when it comes to big aus like these one of the best starting points for me is to think about the worldbuilding. which i guess always happens with me, but the thoughts i had on how the characters translate to an apocalypse setting plus not abiding by other media rules on zombies was simply too much to think about that couldn't get covered in that fic! so here u go! free brainrot material! obvious spoilers for that fic btw

i didn't want to tie myself down with the mechanics of zombies, esp ones we already know from other media like the walking dead or whatever. so a lot of the terminology here is vague. the "outbreak" can refer to an illness just as well as an infection or mutation or even an invasive species, but the important part is that it's highly contagious, kills, and then regenerates the body FAST once it comes in contact with blood

on that note. it is confirmed topical/parenteral contact with the zombie spreads the condition, but when reader tastes the blood on their face in the final scene, uh, bad news for them, oral administration/digestion would not end well

every character has a role in their party. shu is the brains (and was a lot more of a support than leader before the events of the fic), while luca is the brawn. vox and ike are doers- vox is an active presence and throws himself into danger, while ike stays behind and makes sure the little details run smoothly. mysta was the moral compass that made sure everyone's spirits were high enough to avoid conflict. and reader is an observer. they usually intake information faster than the rest of the crew, and know how to perceive when things aren't adding up

every character has a weapon, and i wanted these to be more unconventional ones to really hone in the apocalypse theme. i almost gave vox a machete but i figured that's only something rural homeowners would have on hand (i wanted everyone's origins to be vague so this fic is more relatable) and also, it's a little too on the nose, no? besides, using a rebar ripped from a broken building? that's metal as fuck

when i started the fic shu was entirely an improvised weapon guy. lots of disposable things. the molotov was a reference to his fire sorcery, and millwall bricks are made entirely from newspaper. as i continued i realized he needed something consistent, so he got a fire poker as another reference to his lore

luca is the only person with two weapons, a shotgun and a spiked bat. he's the muscle after all! i tried to veer away from lore bc obviously some luxiem would have a huge advantage if they had, say, demonology or curses available. but i will say it's probs canon he's been around the block at least, no comment on if he was actually a mafioso or not. either way. he's the only one there that really understands firearms and how to stay calm until you really need it, and the spiked bat is his default. it's brutal and easy to use

reader uses two climbing picks. i'm not totally sure why, but for the past few months i've been enamored with climbing picks as a weapon. watching the new puss and boots last month didn't help either. they're like sickles, but less difficult to use since they aren't as curved. and they're practical outside of a fight too! this is the important part about why reader uses them. they're observant. sure, there's more conventional weapons in the party, but the picks are multiuse, and can get you out of a pinch, like how you and vox scaled the townhouse to escape. total bummer you were trapped underground, though

ike... okay. i'm not immune to eki. and it's just that he pairs so well with knives, no matter how hard i tried i always came back to them! more specifically how he has a set, not just one. the others don't come into play but he has a full set of kitchen knives- the others, he meticulously cleans and uses when preparing food or shelter. the largest chef's knife is dedicated for zombie slaying, and the cleaver can cut through bone. you have to use force to use a cleaver correctly. it's impractical for when a zomb's in your face, but give him the time and he can confirm none of them rise again. one of the may ways he stays in the background and makes sure everything is going to plan even when his assistance isn't really flashy

i never wrote him using it but mysta had a woodcutter's hatchet. he also chose his weapon for practicality like reader and ike. however, if you know anything about realistic axe fighting, it's that woodcutter axes are wildly different from fighting axes. the former is extremely heavy while the other is light. once you swing with a woodcutter's hatchet you can't stop. he was looking for a lighter alternative before the townhouse incident, like a proper weapon or a fireman's hatchet, but. well. um

mysta himself is more of a concept than a character in this fic. he definitely had a presence in the party before the events but there's a reason he never had any dialogue. he represents the morale of the party just as much as he does the unreachable sun. "because mysta died" is an unspoken motivation for just about everything the characters do in this fic, and his name becomes synonymous with a peaceful afterlife after hell on earth. when the characters can't even utter his name, it's because that peace is so far away they can't possibly fathom it

the luxiem + reader dynamic was way more lighthearted before mysta's death. it wasn't all joy, because hello, zompocalypse! but it was enough. his death is what kickstarts the animosity, as well as the trauma responses of the rest of the guys. ike's is mentioned by reader a few times and shu's grief is a source of tension but the rest of luxiem wasn't as focused on

vox is characterized with this heroic, "it's up to me to make things right" type of savior complex. mysta's death is the first time things have gone so horribly wrong, and the way that he sees it is like, "i watched him get swarmed, and if i could watch him then i could've ran and fought. my inaction is the reason why he died". even the way he breaks the news to shu and the gang is presentational because he detaches himself from reality for this whole hero thing, even though he doesn't recognize it himself. he's very dramatic. but he also deflects emotion in pursuit of action, like telling shu to set the townhouse on fire, and ignoring reader's concern over him. his last action is attempting to save reader and ike even when he knows there's nothing he can do, and all he has to show for it is his hand getting crushed by a piece of rubble that falls on it

i am VERY PROUD of how i wrote luca. which is to say i didn't write him at all. his characterization is invisible and that's what makes me so happy about it! i feel awful for him them most out of anyone here! vox witnessed mysta get swallowed up by the horde but luca was there with mysta the entire time, and when mysta sacrificed himself so luca can live, luca froze in shock and fear. he never gets over that moment. and luxiem doesn't mean to exclude him, but they're so worried over shu's meltdown and what to do next and this and that to read how mixed all his feelings are on it. vox is fixated on protecting him, and when he's in shock ike hides luca's vision so he's the only one that doesn't see mysta's silhouette in the townhouse before it goes up in flames. i... don't want to give away the answer, i'm sure rereading will identify it, but there's this one line of dialogue that sums up everything he's going through perfectly, and even reader the observer doesn't notice it like how he wants it to be noticed. my heart bleeds for him. when the ceiling collapses reader is struck by how he freezes, and it's a reprise of mysta's death for him. he's not getting over that either. after all he's the muscle but what good is muscle if it can't move?

shu,,,,,, if there's anything that i can say it's that he's not trying to be the villain. he had to mercy kill his brother in one of the most brutal ways imaginable, and then had to speedrun the five stages of grief because someone needs to lead this team. vox tries to lead just as much as shu does, but luca makes a good point. i don't think shu hates them at all. he's a very mama-bear type of character. he has a clear vision in mind of what he wants the path to look like, and anything outside of his vision is uncertain and thus dangerous. but luca makes a good point, and how malicious it's intended to be, i can't say, but he shuts down vox and luca a lot. he would never admit it during the events of the fic but there is a very ugly, very cavernous part of his soul that wants to blame someone, plural

so reader and ike are dead right. those two were the most mentally healthy(?) of the group, or at least, the ones that could help the group manage stress the best. now all that's left is vox, who hates himself for failing to save his friends three times now; shu, who already wasn't taking mysta's death well and certainly isn't going to do any better with the latest casualties; and luca, who everyone wants to protect and no one wants to listen to, and can barely get a word in between shu and vox's fights, and knows he doesn't have the instinct to act when it matters. i wish i had the clarity of mind to see and write their travel together. two of them were already at each other's throats, and the third is about ready to snap. i wish i could tell you how they destroy one another

there were so many points in this fic where i had to ask myself, am i going too far? this happens often, especially with angst, especially with romantic x readers. sometimes i wish i could describe ugliness! snot from crying and screaming so hard you retch in chunks, contortion, all that noise! when i get an opportunity to describe gore i fuckin' take it because that's pretty grody but in a hot bloodshed way. lots of other nastiness isn't very attractive, though, and the point of romantic x readers is to be attractive. so these "should i take a step back" moments really come in through with shu's breakdown, which was written to be as visceral and scathing and uncomfortable as possible. in early-early planning mysta was originally intended to been bitten and turned as you would expect, but the fire was added to it promptly to continue the plot- and when i wrote it, i felt so awful, it was such a brutal way to go out. that's when i figured i just need to commit to the thought, make things feel raw and tangible instead of manicured, and that i'd just be generous with tags. i'm very glad i stayed committed. even though i had to take so many mini breaks in ike's final moments to just look up and mutter to myself "man i'm so fucked up for this one". i'm also very glad that i knew reader would've blacked out and repressed the memory of killing ike, because i did say earlier, cleavers cut through bone. i love a good bloodfest but i think i gotta draw the very-far-away line at ike's head split apart, hotdog not hamburger

[fefeman]

My sciencey-talk explanation of what's happening in the episode, since I didn't find one in the episode :

-> Fear effect

Old Ruby is a projection from a doomed future, using the weird "power inside her" to warn her past self and have her fix the doomed future. Unlike other form of time travel, this one is like, bruteforcing the sending of "data" (information, knowledges) to the past.

That mean perceiving her in enough detail will give you contextless informations about the future, that worm their way in your subconcious. You don't KNOW what she's talking about, you couldn't explain, but those information affect how you FEEL.

And since she's from a doomed timeline, what it make you feel is dread... like full on dread. you feel your incoming death & the horrors of a nuclear war. And you also subconciously recognize Ruby, so your brain immediatly make a link "Ruby => Bad news" which is why everyone flee from her.

Straight up "go mad from the revelation" type of stuff.

-> why so far? Why the blurry photos? Why can't she be heard on the phone?

Now, if that was the case, just seeing old Ruby or passing by her would make you run away.

The Tardis' perception filter was mentionned this episode, and I think it's the key to that. The Tardis hasn't abbandoned Ruby, but she's boosting her perception filter to limit how much the old Ruby is perceived.

Primarly, she keep Ruby from seeing herself up close, as well as from hearing her (blocking the audio) and she's blurring photos taken of her... She also make it so passerby don't really notice her unless Ruby point it out to her.

Thing is, Ruby is powerful (at least something in her is), and it's trying to brute force its message. It's an arm-wrestling between the Tardis and Future Ruby, and if someone try to look to close into Future Ruby, the tardis lose.

It's also why Unit was hit particularly hard by the cognito hazard : in their various protocol, there was something to work around perception filters, so even just hearing the message on their private communication channel did the trick.

-> where was the doctor?

Two options :

since he's more perceptive than humans most of the time, he got the future informations very quickly, and it activated his flight response. That say, it make it strange that he managed to completly disappear and wouldn't take the tardis. So I bank more for :

He has some sort of protection against timeline shifting. When they walked on the circle and Ruby read the text, she was sent to a different timeline, while he wasn't. That's also why the tardis was locked and limited in the use of its perception filter : it was operating inside a closed timeloop from the outside.