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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ honey, on your knees
pairing: nerd!rafe x pervert!reader synopsis: rafe gets desperate to please reader warnings/tags: smut, oral (fem. receiving) MDNI! wc: 1.7k a/n; inspired by 'holy' by king princess! that song is so them... also there's an easter egg in this fic (what is this, the mcu?) lmk if you spot it!
rafe masterlist ♡ pervert masterlist ♡
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rafe's raging hard-on was pressing against your clothed cunt as you were straddling him on his bed, the boy's hair mussed up by how much you'd been tugging on it. you didn't know if your boyfriend was aware just how his hips were bucking up into you desperately, small whines leaving his throat every time your lips took even a slight break from being heatedly pressing against his.
you chuckled as you pulled your lips away from him, a mocking pout on your lips. "what's the matter, baby?"
"please..." he whines underneath you, his blue eyes rolled back in his head.
"please what?" you chuckled again, rolling your hips against his, causing him to let out a guttural whine as you ran a long, manicured nail down his jawline, "speak up. you know i can't hear you when you just whine like that."
you wiped the saliva away from rafe's kiss-swollen lips; the two of you had been making out in his bed for the past hour, and he'd been basically humping up into you for the majority of it. your panties were soaked at this point, but you couldn't resist; you'd rather have your pussy clenching around nothing if it meant you'd get to tease him.
"j-just..." rafe whispered, trying to steady his breathing, his cheeks pink, "just need... something..."
"oh, do you?" you cocked your head to the side, "but what if i need something, huh? you think your needs should come first?"
"i'll give you anything," his eyebrows are knitted together in a way that made him look like the most pitiful, adorable puppy as he looked up at you, his pupils so wide his eyes almost appear black.
"yeah? anything?" you coo, bringing your lips down to his defined jawline, starting to leave small little kisses and licks as your lips traced it, "anything?" you mumble against his chin until nipping at the soft skin sharply, rafe letting out a whiney exhale.
"anything..."
you chuckled, pulling away from his chin, biting down on your lip as your thumb wiped away a tiny drop of blood that you'd drawn with your small nip, "look, rafe. seems like i nicked you a little." you smile, showing your thumb to rafe, only for the boy not caring for even one bit, not even when you wiped it on his lower lip, his tongue almost automatically darting out to lick it off.
"please."
you pursed your lips in thought for a moment, until chuckling as you got off his lap, making rafe look at you with wide eyes, an almost betrayed look on his face. you sat back on his bed, hugging your knees for a brief moment, before cocking your head to the side and lifting your eyebrow, spreading your legs. "take off my shorts."
rafe didn't need to be told twice; he knelt down in between your legs, the shape of his cock visible through his grey sweatpants. you lifted your hips to help him as he scrambled to get your shorts off, and when he saw the wet patch on your baby pink panties, right under the heart-shaped cut-our in the middle of it, his adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, "what... what do you want me to do?" he mumbled, clearing his throat.
you run your pointed bare foot down his arm, the light hairs on his arms raising, a shiver running down his spine as you caress him with a coy smile, cocking your head to the side with a glint in your eye. "take them off."
rafe took a long, shaky breath. hesitantly, he reached out for the waistband of your panties, his knuckles pressing against your lower abdomen making you hitch your breath.
even though you knew it wasn't rafe's purpose to tease you, it took him agonizingly long to slide your panties down your legs, making you grow more and more desperate to feel him, to feel his touch, to feel his mouth between your legs. and finally, when your panties were discarded to the side, he turned to look at you, and it was as if he was hypnotized by the sight of you.
"kiss up my legs. slowly."
listening to your guidance, rafe lifted your right foot to rest on his shoulder, turning to face it as he pressed a kiss on your ankle, tracing wet, warm kisses, first up your calf, before pressing a kiss on your knee. as with everything rafe did, he was thorough. he nipped, licked, and kissed up your inner thigh, getting closer and closer to where you needed him, his breath hot against your bare skin.
when rafe finally reached the divet between your thigh and your cunt, he inhaled the scent of your arousal, exhaling against your arousal-slickened cunt shakily, causing your back to arch off the bed.
you'd had enough of his unintentional teasing, so you brought your manicured hand to his hair, gripping it tightly. you moved his head so you had him where you wanted, making rafe let out a muffled grunt against your folds. he moved the other thigh to rest on his shoulder too.
as you loosened your grip slightly, he pulled away just slightly, only to run his thumb up your labia and slightly pressing against your clit, giving it a lazy roll. "i haven't done this before, but, uh, i'm gonna try my best." he murmured, and you felt the vibrations of his voice in your spine, making you bite down a smile.
rafe suckled up one of your folds, and finally, when he reached your clit, he simply pressed a small kiss on the throbbing bud, running his tongue down your slit, making you arch into his touch as you let out a whine, your grip clenching around his hair.
the boy repeated his action on your other fold, but now, when he reached your clit, rafe circled it with his tongue teasingly. one of his hands started trailing up your body, pushing up his shirt as he did so, and you could tell that as he reached your bralette-covered breasts, his hips bucked against the bed, and as his tongue circled your clit, his fingers started circling your hardened nipple.
when rafe's lips wrapped around your clit, his fingers wrapped around your nipple. and when his lips finally started greedily sucking your clit between his lips, his fingers pinched your nipple.
you gasped, arching into his touch; you felt as he started rolling around your nipple between his fingers, while simultaneously drawing figure-eights on your clit with his tongue. rafe was letting out, almost indecipherable moans against your clit, his hips rutting against the bed.
"just like that..." you moan, arching your hips into him, and as his other hand creeps up your thigh, he pulls away from your clit, a groan leaving your lips as you look down at him, taking your hand away from his hair with a disappointed huff, "did i tell you to stop?"
rafe let out a bashful chuckle, the hand that was on your thigh moving to push back his mussed-up hair, "just, uh, wanted to know if it's okay if i use my fingers?"
you rolled your eyes, but smiled at him fondly before resting your head back down, your hand moving to grab his hair again, "just shut up and do it."
his head disappeared between your thighs once again, lapping up some of your arousal before his lips wrapped around your clit again. you felt two of his fingers circling your entrance, building suspense.
but when he finally pushed his fingers into you, your walls were so slick with your arousal, it was like they were sucking him in, pleading him to go deeper. rafe let out a soft moan against your clit as he pushed his long fingers deeper, the coldness from his rings causing shivers to run down your spine.
"yes..." you clenched around his fingers, feeling as he withdrew them, only to push them in deeper, and as he continued on, he began to arch them inside of you and your grip on his hair tightened, the squelch of your pussy as his fingers started to pick up their pace mixed with the sound of your moans filling his dorm room.
and as his fingers and mouth worked in tandem, you kept arching more and more into him, your breathing getting more irrational as you felt the familiar warm feeling in your abdomen slowly turn scorching hot.
"yes, right there!" you moan the moment you feel his fingers reach that spongy spot, and as usual, he obeyed, his fingers continuing to arch into that one specific spot, your head thrown back in bliss, your eyes closed as you chased your orgasm.
and when it finally hit you, it was like electricity was running through your body, your pussy clenching around his fingers, trapping his long digits inside of you, gripping onto his hair as if to make sure you'd stay on earth. rafe pulled his lips away from your throbbing clit, panting, instead moving his thumb to slowly roll around the bud to help you come down from your orgasm.
and when the clenching of your walls finally started to ease up, he rafe slowly slid his fingers out of you as you took short breaths, your heart pounding against your chest. you slowly let go of his hair, and rafe moved up your body. you looked at him with half-lidded eyes, a blissed-out smile on your lips, while his own were covered with your arousal.
"did i do okay?" rafe asked, his cheeks red as he was biting down on his lower lip. you moved your hand to his lips, tugging it from under his teeth, before pressing your lips against his in a tender kiss, tasting yourself on his lips.
"you did better than okay." you mumbled against his lips, pressing a small peck on them, "you did amazing, baby. where'd you learn that?"
"i, uh…" he mumbled, "i studied."
you laugh softly, shaking your head, "what, do you mean you watched porn or something?"
"no…" rafe scratched the back of his neck, "i read some articles online."
somehow, as dorky as your boyfriend's answer was; it was also the most endearing thing in the world.
#꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ rafe#nerd!rafe#♡ pervert!reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron smut#outer banks#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe smut#rafe fic#rafe outer banks#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe x reader#rafe obx#outerbanks rafe#outer banks fic#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks smut#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron obx#drew starkey
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over the phone
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Summary: Ever since Wanda left for a routine work trip, things have felt off—even compared to previous trips. Things come to a head one day and you can't help but ring her up. Just to talk... well, at first anyway.
Tags: wanda maximoff x f!reader, 18+, smut, edging, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, phone sex, dacryphilia, mommy kink, nipple play (is that a tag idk), implied sadomasochism (just a lil bit), remote vibrator, fingering
WC: 3,165
A/N: i know the tags are a little crazier than usual... and the length is double what i normally have. i don't know what happened— hopefully someone is into this though
"Detka? Are you there?"
The phone speaker crackles in the following silence, breaking you out of your stupor.
"Sorry, Wanda. I'm here."
She hums softly on the other side of the line, sounding amused.
"So, why did you call me, sweetheart?"
The honey-sweet words trickle into your ears and you sigh, leaning back against the headboard and fidgeting restlessly with the edge of the duvet.
"Just missed you. Wanted to hear your voice," you respond quietly, hoping that the phone catches it.
Evidently, you're not entirely successful.
"Hmm? Say that again, baby?"
You slump down against the pillow, sliding underneath the covers and turning to the side. The phone finds its way between your hands, still on speaker, and you cradle it closer to your face, staring unblinking at the caller ID screen as you repeat yourself.
Wanda chuckles softly, and the phone slides out of your loose grasp. You melt into the mattress before reaching out to readjust the phone until it's in place again.
"I missed you too, detka. What have you been up to today?"
You hum softly, squeezing a second pillow between your arms as you think over your response.
"Not much. I went out and bought groceries. Nothing special. Everything feels so stale without you here," you lament.
A soft huff of breath crackles through the speakers.
"I'll be back soon, detka. I'm only here for one more day, I promise."
You sigh and turn onto your back again, hugging the pillow tighter.
"I just miss you so much."
"I know, sweetheart, I know."
The soft warmth spreading in your chest is all-too-eager to branch as far as it can go, and a low ache settles at the bottom of your stomach. Wanda's voice has always been a weak spot for you, and even through crackling phone speakers that hasn't changed.
"Miss you in all the ways," you murmur, suddenly overwhelmed by the intensity of your need.
Wanda coos softly, but doesn't say anything further. As her raspy voice echoes through the speaker, tears spring to your eyes. It hurts to miss someone this much. You've never had much issue with Wanda leaving before. It's not like you don't understand that she's busy.
But for some reason, this time has felt different from all the others. Your everyday life feels emptier, hollow, surreal. Without Wanda to anchor you down, you feel like you're a phantom, coasting on muscle memory to get through the day until you can get in bed and dream of green eyes.
"Wish you could just come home already," you whine, trying to tamp down your rising emotions.
"Detka," Wanda murmurs. "It's okay. I'm here. Stay with me, okay? Mommy's here."
You battle with your conflicting desires, desperation and desire coursing through your veins in equal measure. You flip back onto your side again, clutching the phone like a lifeline, thumbs pressed into the screen as if that will somehow bring you closer to Wanda.
"Mommy," you whisper back, taking solace in the title as your breathing evens out again.
"Yes, sweetheart. I'm here," Wanda reassures.
Lust roars to life suddenly and you squeeze your thighs together, mind blank as Wanda's soft voice washes over you.
"Mommy," you whisper again, heavier this time, weighted down by desire.
"My baby," she murmurs in response, low and firm.
"Need you. Please." You've been reduced to short phrases already, finally letting your mind take a backseat and just letting yourself feel.
"What do you need from mommy, detka?"
"Want mommy, please. Want to hear— want…" you can't find the right words, overwhelmed by just how much you need Wanda in this moment. You just need her, need to anchor yourself.
Luckily, Wanda understands what you're asking for all too well.
"You want mommy to tell you what to do? Is that it, detka?"
You nod limply, before realizing Wanda can't see you.
"Mhmm," you hum into the screen instead, fingers still digging into the phone case as you pull it even closer.
"How badly do you need it, sweetheart?"
Wanda's voice is teasing, and you can hear shuffling on the other side of the line then the click of a door locking.
"Need you so bad, please mommy." The words tumble out in a rushed mess, but at this point you can hardly bear to think of this phone call ending in anything other than an orgasm.
Wanda chuckles again.
"You're so lovely for me, detka. So needy. So sweet. You know what mommy would do to you if she could be there with you?"
You shiver, pillow long-forgotten as you clutch the phone between your fingers.
"I would take it so slow, sweetheart. Draw it out a little bit, just tug down the top of your shirt and play with your pretty little nipples until you're squirming and crying."
Wanda sounds delighted; you can hear the smile in her voice as she describes how she would touch you.
"Just softly at first, only the best for my baby. I'd use my mouth and tongue, and then when you're squirming for more, mommy would use her fingers to pinch and squeeze and roll. The way you like it, baby," she hums, and you shiver again.
"Can you do that for mommy, sweetheart? Can you pinch your pretty nipples for her?"
You whine high in your throat, listening to the way Wanda laughs softly through the phone.
"Mommy," you whimper, tugging your tank top down and setting down the phone next to your head. You know exactly what Wanda means, and you pinch and squeeze, rolling your own nipples roughly between the pads of your fingers, the way you know Wanda always does, the way you like it.
"Oh god, mommy—" the moan gets caught in the back of your throat, coming out choked as bolts of white-hot electricity course up your spine.
"You're doing so good for me, detka," she coos, and you sob desperately, already overwhelmed.
"Just keep it up for me, sweetheart. I want to hear you cry."
You acquiesce obediently, squeezing your nipples until they're swelling, reddened by the abuse, until you can feel tears welling up and spilling over. Wanda keeps whispering soft encouragements through the speaker even as you pant and moan, broken only by soft sobbing and crying.
It never surprised you, but you're sure anyone else in the neighborhood who knows Wanda would be startled to discover her sadistic streak. She's always liked seeing you cry, and it only helps that you like it when she makes you hurt—when she tears you apart and builds you back up again.
"Mommy," you whimper again, a broken noise that makes Wanda moan softly on the other end of the line.
"Oh, detka, you sound so pretty," she coos, enjoyment sparkling in her voice.
"Please," you beg, shivering and shaking with every new jolt of sensation.
"Mmh, good girl," she murmurs. "You can stop now, just for a little bit."
You moan with relief as you're finally given permission to pull your hands away from your chest.
"And then mommy would touch you lower, wouldn't she? You know how mommy likes you, baby. Legs tucked up against your chest so you're nice and open for mommy. Go ahead, sweetheart, why don't you start now, hm?"
You pant softly as your pull your own legs up and apart, kicking off the duvet and whimpering when cold air meets your sticky cunt.
"Mommy would start slow, just keep you spread open with her fingers, and just watch. Wait until you're squirming and wiggling before she touches you. Just keep yourself open, baby, you can listen to how mommy wants to touch you first. No touching yet."
You hum and abide by her rules, reaching down only to spread yourself even further apart, shivering as you imagine Wanda's lazer-sharp gaze on your spread cunt.
"And then mommy would touch you so softly, just gently rub with her fingers where you're nice and open for mommy. Never inside, just right outside, where your pretty cunt opens up for mommy."
You shiver as you imagine the sensation, all-too-familiar with how it feels.
"Do you think you could ever come like that, baby? With mommy's mouth on your nipples and her fingers rubbing your cunt just like that?"
Wanda moans softly at her own words, and you whimper loudly into the speaker. It sounds torturous and delicious all in the same.
"Hmm, maybe once mommy gets home," she murmurs. "How's my detka feeling now, hm? Are you being a good girl? You're not touching yourself, are you?"
Her words are edged with danger.
"No, mommy. I'm being good. Not touching myself. Keeping myself spread open with my fingers, just like mommy would," you profess earnestly.
Wanda hums thoughtfully.
"You wouldn't lie to me, would you baby?"
"Promise I'm being honest, mommy."
Wanda coos softly, reassured.
"Good girl, detka."
You moan softly in the back of your throat. Without realizing it, you've started rocking your hips against the empty air, searching for more stimulation.
"Now where were we? Ah, right, mommy would rub your pretty cunt until you're crying again, and then keep rubbing. Just until she's satisfied. You'd have to be a good girl and beg for more. Beg for mommy's fingers."
"Please," you moan. "Please, mommy, please." Mindless even though you haven't even begun to touch yourself.
"You can touch yourself now, baby," she coos gently. "Just like mommy said, okay? Don't go inside just yet. Just outside. Nice and soft."
You agree quietly, letting go of where you're stretching yourself open to reach down further. You take your index and middle fingers and begin to rub in careful circles, moaning at the touch.
You've heard about this before, know just how many nerve endings exist in just this region, and it feels like you're on fire. Desperation seizes you. You want more. You want so badly to feel full, to come already, but Wanda hasn't given you permission to do anything beyond this, and you're nothing if not a good girl for her.
"Good girl," Wanda hums, and then continues to describe more, dropping her voice torturously low as she paints new visuals through the speaker.
"And then mommy would press inside, so so slow, bit by bit until you're all filled up. But as soon as mommy's inside, she'd pull right back out, all the way. Rub your pretty little clit with those same fingers until you're crying again, so close, and then stop. Once you're calmed down, mommy would do it again, and again, and again. Over and over."
"Mommy," you sob desperately. "Mommy, please."
Wanda hums softly, but doesn't acknowledge your pleas.
"You don't have to do it so many times tonight, baby. Just a couple. Just so mommy can hear you cry again. And then mommy wants you to go get your vibrator. Mommy will make you come like that, okay?"
You shiver and gasp as you continue to work yourself up.
"Yes, mommy. Please, mommy."
Wanda seems to be feeling merciful tonight, because she doesn't wait very long.
"You can go in now, detka. Just like mommy said, okay? Nice and slow."
You nod eagerly, forgetting Wanda can't see you, and begin to nudge your fingers inside, torturously slow, exactly the way Wanda has so many dozens of times in the past.
The stretch burns, just a little bit, even with how slick you are, and you moan into the speaker. It takes nearly a full minute just to seat your fingers in completely, and you sigh as you clench down, finally feeling full.
"Pull out, baby," Wanda orders firmly.
You whine, crying out in disappointment, but you don't disobey.
"Mommy," you beg, even as you pull back out completely, leaving your cunt empty and needy again.
"No, baby. Not yet. Be good for mommy. Now you have to rub your pretty little clit. Soft. Gentle. Mommy wants you to edge yourself three times, okay? She can count for you, baby." Wanda's breathing sounds labored on the other side of the line, and you briefly have time to think about whether or not she's touching herself, too.
Then your fingers are on your clit and your thoughts wash away again.
You rub just as she instructed. Slowly, gently, cautiously. Just enough to slowly build you up to an orgasm. Never enough to tip you over. Desire throbs low and slow in your stomach, but Wanda's low voice keeps your orgasm at bay. Slower. Lighter. Hold it.
Soon enough, her voice is all you can think about. It replaces the voice in your own head, guiding every movement of every part of your body. No coming. Never coming. Just rubbing, slowly.
When you whimper a little too loud into the speaker, Wanda makes you stop. Pulling your hand away feels like hell, but you do it anyway. When your breathing settles to an acceptable degree—Wanda makes you hold the phone up to your mouth until you stop panting—she has you start again.
Slow and steady. Stretching yourself open with two fingers until you're spreading around your knuckles, and then out and away. And then once again, rubbing your clit until you can feel just how empty you are, clenching down around nothing. The tears well up this time, and Wanda coos softly when you hiccup soft sobs into the phone.
She still makes you stop.
"That's two, detka. Just one more. One more. You can do it, can't you?"
You nod limply, fingers seated deep inside your cunt. It feels glorious, to be full just for this one moment, walls fluttering around something until Wanda orders you to pull them back out, and then you're hollow again, incomplete.
This time, she has you rub even longer, twice as long as you had to before. She makes you pause whenever your breathing speeds to much, or you moan too loud. She tells you to keep your fingers on your clit no matter what, even if you're paused, just to feel the way it throbs underneath your fingertips.
When it does, she asks you to count each pulse out loud, to tell her exactly how much you need her, how much you need more.
"Okay, baby, you can stop now," she orders, after making you count for the fifth time.
"Get your vibrator, sweetheart. Press it in as far as it will go, okay?"
You reach over to the bedside table, fumbling with the drawer until you find the small vibe, sucking on the tip for only a moment before you're eagerly cramming it into your cunt. It feels heavenly, to finally have something inside again, and you moan softly.
"Good girl," Wanda coos from the phone, and you feel the way the vibrator comes to life.
It's slow, probably at the lowest setting, but you're still grateful for the way the vibrations pulse outward, rippling through your nerves deliciously.
"Oh, sweetheart," Wanda murmurs. "You've been so good for mommy today. So sweet. So obedient. Do you want to come?"
You whine eagerly, half-sentences forming in your throat.
"Please, mommy, please. Want. Wanna come. Please."
Wanda chuckles softly, and the vibrator jacks up to the highest setting. You sob gratefully into the phone, your entire body shivering as pleasure finally floods into you.
"Whenever you want, detka," she hums.
The orgasm is aggressive, fast, overpowering. It crashes through your entire body, your toes curling and back arching as all the tension you've built up for the past hour is finally released.
But even after you've come down, panting loudly into the speaker, Wanda doesn't stop the vibrator. She lets it run, still thrumming harshly deep inside of you, until you're tipped over into a second orgasm. The second orgasm is just a tinge of painful, but that ache quickly bleeds into euphoria again.
When she still doesn't stop, you begin to beg, pleading incoherently with Wanda to turn down the vibrator, to stop completely.
Wanda gives no indication at all that she's heard you.
The third orgasm is an all-consuming heatwave, burning through every raw nerve ending as your entire body is left twitching in the aftermath. The fourth and fifth completely remove all sense of coherency and reality from you. Even still, the vibrator keeps buzzing away, tucked deep in your cunt. Wanda murmurs the whole way through, reassurances sweet in her mouth.
She still doesn't stop, though, even when you've lost your voice from how much you've moaned and cried through each orgasm.
You don't even know how many times you actually come. At least 7 times, you think. When she finally turns the vibrator off, you're a complete mess, drenched in sweat and tears, your thighs coated in sticky arousal and come.
"You're okay, detka," she murmurs through the phone.
"You've been so lovely for me. Can you do just one more, baby? Just one more? Mommy wants to hear another one, pretty please?"
You whimper hoarsely, already overstimulated beyond belief, but it doesn't even matter, because the vibrator is buzzing to life yet again.
"Just one more, sweetheart. You can do it. Mommy knows you can. You're so good for me."
You manage to choke out a moan as pleasure builds in your gut yet again, aching and burning. It hurts, but it also feels euphoric.
"Be a darling and rub your clit for mommy, okay? Nice and hard, baby."
You cry out when you do, fingers pressed into your clit as you nudge along another orgasm. It's all too much, but Wanda only turns the vibrator higher. All of a sudden, the orgasm crashes through you, and you shudder one last time, squeezing down on the pulsing vibrator inside you.
You cry out unintelligibly, and Wanda turns the vibrator down, letting you ride out your final orgasm before shutting it off.
"Such a good girl for me, detka," she coos softly. "You're so lovely for me, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you."
You hum into the phone, listening to the way it crackles with sound. You have half a mind to pull the vibrator back out and you leave it on the nightstand, but your uncooperative legs won't let you stand, let alone walk to the bathroom to clean up.
"It's okay, baby. You can go to sleep now. Mommy will be back in no time, okay?"
"Love you, Wanda," you murmur, eyelids already drooping with exhaustion.
As you drift off, vision swimming and blurring, you hear Wanda's honeyed voice come through the speakers again.
"Love you too, detka."
Slipping away into dreamland, you're met with the same dream as you have been for days now. When you're met with green eyes and red hair this time, you no longer feel so hollow—instead, warmth floods through you. The world around the two of you takes shape, changes colors, blissful and bright.
Wanda's eyes sparkle as she laughs at you, tugging you along to nowhere in particular, and you find yourself smiling—genuine and full.
#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff x fem reader#wanda maximoff x female reader#wanda maximoff x y/n#wanda maximoff x you#wanda maximoff#bambiblurbs
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SlytheringBangchan's reads you can't find on tumblr
First of all, hi! In case there's someone reading this who doesn't follow me. I've been writing for Skz and Nct since 2018💕 I used to write for other groups too, though~ This post is mostly Nct cause I feel like I've yet to reach the Nctzen side of tumblr (which is why I mostly post these on Ao3) but if some of my followers are Czennies please take a look and share~
My works on Ao3~ Inked Dreams (🔞🍆💕)
(Tattoo!Artist Au//College!Au):
Probably one of my fave works in general~ A NCT Dream Tattooist!Au where the Dreamies are college's heartthrobs and most likely will steal your heart whenever you less expect it. Pairings: 7Dream x diff fem readers.
It's focused in a different reader x member/members per Arc but EVERYTHING is connected since they're all in the same AU~ if you started readind this here, you may be aware that I stopped posting it on tumblr for lack of interaction but know that there're a lot more chapters posted on Ao3❣ (Currently 28 chapters)
<<Inked Dreams link here>> (Don't read the tags on ao3 if you don't want spoilers)
The Summer We All Turned Pretty(🔞🍆💕)
Summer!Au // Childhood friends to lovers!Au You've spent your every summer in a huge house at the beach with a bunch of guys you've been friends with since you were a baby. After some years not being able to get everyone in the summer house due to "schedule incompatibilities", you finally get to see all of the guys together again this year. Will partying with the neighbors bring up some old affairs?
It's completed. I'll be posting an epilogue at some point but that's all. Read the notes in last chapter (9) for more details on the epilogue and possible extras💕 It's a reverse harem type of fic most of the time. I'm not stating the members in the harem to avoid spoilers but the main characters are: Fem reader, Lee Haechan, Park Jisung, Mark Lee, Lee Taeyong, Kim Doyoung, Byun Baekhyun, Bangchan, Kim Seungmin, Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Felix, Yang Jeongin, Seo Changbin. I know it may sound like a weird mix, but please trust me on this and give it a chance💕 (Inspired by Jenny Han's "The Summer I Turned Pretty") <<The Summer We all Turned Pretty link>>
São Paulo. (Fuckboy Haechan🔞🍆💕)
Named after The Weeknd's "São Paulo" song. It is an Au where Haechan could be considered a fuckboy, but it's not your typical fuckboy!Au
This is a new fic I've been working on and I'm really excited to share it so I'd be eternally grateful if you'd read it and leave some comments/kudos💕
It'll have 3-4 chapters probably and I'll be posting chap2 soon~
The main character/reader is a chubby girl. There's no specific plot around the reader being chubby, I just felt like writing for this type of body this time💕
<<São Paulo Link>> Double Kill (🔞🍆💕)
You and Baekhyun have been friends since your college days. After some ugly relationships you both decided back then to stop thinking about dating and just going out and have fun every chance you got with anyone you'd fancy. Now, years later and still pretty much afraid of commitment, your ritual remains the same. Then one night, someone special caught your eye...
Multiple pairings: Fem reader x Lee Haechan / Byun Baekhyun / Mark lee. Byun Baekhyun x ten / Taeyong.
<<Double Kill Link>>
agapē (🔞🍆💕) (Fallen Angel Lee Taeyong)
Believe it or not, I wrote this inspired by the Señorita dance cover Taeyong did a long time ago~ It's a one shot, kinda steamy, full of feelings too. Keep either red haired Taeyong or pink haired Taeyong on your head while you read it, hahah💘 <<agapē Link>>
That's all for now! Of course comments/kudos are highly appreciated on all of my works, same as reblogs and likes here~
In Other News:
SKZ Projects I want to bring to Ao3 apart from the ones that are already there: SKZ Tattoo Artist!Au (Rewritten for ao3) SKZ Benders!Au. Ryuusei (Rewritten for Ao3)
#Nct#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct fic#masterlist#ao3#ao3 writer#ao3 fanfic#nct smut#nct 127 smut#nct dream smut#haechan smut#haechan x reader#nct 127 x reader#mark lee x reader#baekhyun smut#kpop scenarios#kpop fic#kpop smut#kpop fanfic#stray kids imagines#kpop imagines
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Re: the earlygame beef between Mammon and MC. I always find it so funny whenever I see the (abundantly common, entirely typical) "Mammon has been there for us since day one! Our first man! Mammon is the only brother who never threatened to kill us or try to hurt us!" posts. Because it's just...so incredibly obvious how wrong they are? I have to assume that the people making those posts either literally never played the actual game at all, or they played with their eyes closed. Or perhaps they don't know how to read.
Because the game was literally shoving the fact that Mammon hates your guts and wishes you were dead in your face for like 2 or 3 Lessons straight. On day one when he first meets you? He can't stand your ass. He wants you gone. All the way up until you make a pact with him, and even for a little while AFTER making a pact, Mammon actively despises you and tells you so himself. And then multiple other characters (including Diavolo, Barbatos, and Lucifer) ALSO come along and give you extremely obvious exposition like "wow, it's Mammon's job to watch over you and protect you in this hostile new environment? And he abandoned you the first chance he got, leaving you to the wolves? Haha, classic Mammon. Of course he abandoned you to get eaten by other demons, what a goofy guy"
And YOU LITERALLY ARE ALMOST EATEN BY DEMONS. BECAUSE MAMMON DIDN'T GAF ABOUT DOING HIS JOB AND DITCHED YOUR ASS. The manga goes into more detail about it too, showing that you literally came to harm because Mammon abandoned you when he was supposed to keep you safe. And later on when you call Mammon out, he threatens to kill you and eat you. To your face. He literally does that.
Idk, it's just crazy to me how badly people can mischaracterize these things. I know that Mammon is the fandom baby or w/e but Mammon fans in particular love to rewrite history and infantilize him as this sweet innocent woobie who never did anything wrong. "Mammon is the only brother who never wanted to kill us!" you're literally lying, lol. He threatens to kill you and eat you to your face. "Mammon loved us from the very beginning!" No he didn't, he repeatedly told you that he hated you lmao.
This happens with other characters too, yeah. People include Beel as part of the "never tried to hurt us" group even though he absolutely DID try to hurt us when Mammon physically force-fed us his custard (another thing Mammon did to deliberately harm us) Also Satan gets thrown in the "one of the bad ones who tried to hurt us" camp, despite never actually doing anything to us. He gets angry and goes on an edgy little rant, but if you actually know how to read you'll notice that he doesn't ever actually DO anything to harm us or try to kill us. He never makes any kind of move to actually harm us, but everyone assumes he does? Wild. But Mammon gets this the worst for some reason.
I could go into a whole entire separate spiel about how the Mammon infantilization also applies to the "everyone bullies him for no reason even though he's literally an innocent pure baby who never did anything wrong ever" but I'm just gonna double the length of this already long rant. What's crazy is I don't even dislike Mammon, he's cool. But oh my god some Mammon fans can be absolutely fucking insufferable 😭
Woobie 😭 I'm sorry, I know there's like paragraphs happening here but that word sent me lol.
I'm gonna level with you here, anon. This kinda thing just does not bother me in the slightest. I mean it doesn't matter to me if people mischaracterize or rewrite the story to fit their preferences. If it makes them happy, then they can go ahead and live their truth.
I think I probably land somewhere in between on the Mammon characterization scale, mostly because I like when he's a lil pathetic~
Anyway, if you want me to get into the nitty gritty of how I characterize Mammon, I can certainly do that. But I kinda get the vibe that you just needed to rant a bit. And that's okay, my ask box is always open for ranting or rambling or anything else!
#sorry I just love the word woobie dkfjf#and I just don't have the energy to get worked up about stuff like this#I think I'll leave this out of the tags though#anon asks#misc answers
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the thing about bruce trying to kill the joker is that people always leave it at 'superman stopped him', which is only partially true. superman does stop him but only during the assembly itself. as soon as he's inhaled all the joker gas, he says, "Batman, he's all yours."
he lets bruce have him, and he doesn't step back in until it's time to pull bruce from the water. maybe this is just because it took him a while to dispose of the gas, but i've always seen it as superman essentially giving batman permission of a sort to do what he needed to do.
maybe clark didn't know what bruce would choose - whether he would lock the joker up or put him six feet under - but he trusted bruce's judgement. maybe clark was sure of bruce's intentions, that he truly believed that bruce would do the 'right' thing. or maybe clark knew that bruce was going to kill him, and he took a step back. i don't know if we're ever told, and i don't think i want to know. i just think it's very interesting.
but bruce did fully try to kill the joker. nobody could stop him, and in the end superman didn't try to. the joker had literally been shot and the helicopter was about to explode and bruce left him there to die. the comic ends with bruce yelling to find his body, but thinking, "But I know they won't. That's how things always end with the Joker and me. Unresolved."
#this is more word vomit than anything#i just think it's so much more interesting with the context that bruce was not stopped. he was momentarily paused but he was not stopped#i just see posts all the time like 'imagine jason finds out that it's because of clark that the joker's still alive'#and it's just. that's not really what happened. you know?? like it's definitely fun to play with#and you should stick with that if that's what you like i just prefer this version of events#i do think it was clark letting bruce make his own choice though. like supes leaving and then coming back at the end to grab bruce's hand#to me says 'i know you need to do this alone but i am here with you. whatever you choose i will hold your hand regardless.' you know??#i'll make a real post about this at some point i'm just rambling right now#bruce wayne#batman#jason todd#red hood#<- tagging him because it's about his death#batfamily
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Sakito Homura in Bakuage Sentai BoonBoomger 01x48 Your Handle
+ bonus
#boonboomger#boonboomger spoilers#gifs.sakito#super sentai#bakuage sentai boonboomger#sakito homura#bun violet#userdramas#umbrella.gifs#tokuedit#please do not repost#umbrella.edits#umbrella.posts#i love sakito a lot and i really do think he's a great sixth#he's grown quite a bit from being a guy who does whatever whenever to someone who does things for a reason though he still finds time to#do whatever and chase out chaos don't get it twisted but he cares and he's willing to be vulnerable and not ignore the impact his actions#could have and the difference he can make he went from believing no one could help him to wanting to help those who are like he was#he wants to help kids whose voices aren't being heard he wants to create a world like taiya envisions he wants to bridge their dreams#taiya showed sakito what it means to care and how nice it can be to reassure and reach out to others even if taiya isn't the best at it#himself he still makes an effort and he still tries to improve and sakito admires that it's a really great red/sixth dynamic and you know#i have a great love for red/sixth#i just really like sakito and his growth. he reached out to genba for taiya and for himself he may have wanted to be paid but he also wante#to do it for himself so that his friends could be together like he envisions and genba is a part of that#i want to talk more about this but tag limits so i'll leave it here just know i love sakito a lot and will miss him <3
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It is interesting, in retrospect, how during and immediately after their encounter with Delilah in episode 77, you can see it actively dawn on Imogen that Delilah is a 24/7 voyeur to everything that happens to/around Laudna, including her relationship with Laudna. Delilah taunts them by saying, "I'm always here" and Imogen whispers to herself, "Always," like this is the first time she's realized it and then immediately starts trying to plan a way, any way, to separate them, including saving the gods from Predathos specifically to call in a favor from one of them. It's such a numb, sudden, harrowing realization. It build perfectly to her admission of disgust when they were in the Fey Realm a couple episodes later
#on today's episode of ''I was in the transcript search looking for something specific and then got distracted'': This!#like but actually in retrospect the way that scene plays out is WILD#anyway actually genuinely curious how this dynamic shakes out in the long haul#because liek yeah maybe it's possible to separate laudna and delilah! idk! pike seemed to think there was a minuscule chance it was possibl#and delilah obvi says there's not. but. who's to say.#if a god could do it i'll put my money on the matron both for fate-relating powers also because i knew she hates delilah so fucking much#i bet she'd love the opportunity to punt her from existence#but again. don't know where that leaves laudna. considering the matron's domain is so anti-undead#there's some interesting potential here though either way#cr tag
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hey that's not supposed to be out there (uploaded wrong version at first haha whoops)
#not supposed to be that color either#i wonder who that belongs to#i had a very vague meaning for this in mind but saying it would spoil the fun#christ this took me forever#i wanted to do a quick project to give myself a break from my final#but accidentally made an entirely new kind of nightmare#BUT i can proudly say that i am very proud of this despite how long it took me#alrighty this blog is all about tracking progress so my thought on this;#it's not really as energetic as i had hoped to make it so i think that's the biggest technical issue i have with this#i'll try to get back to doing more gestures soon as a way to help with that#i think my shadows are a bit confusing too#i'm looking at it now and his glasses kinda taper off into the void of his fur bc i didnt mark the shadow along the left of his ear#but the thought of digging back through layers to fix it and blending that mess in is giving me a headache so i'm content with leaving it#i think i learned a lot about light and reflections though#my shadows aren't the greatest but i had so much fun rendering the glasses#and the glow of the soul pushed me to think about bounce light a lot more#figuring out how to make the colors look like they were glowing was a whole separate issue#i did it in the last big ralsei drawing i did but not nearly to this extent#i won't be doing something this large for a while after this but i'll keep trying to work on the things i didn't like about this#i think i'm gonna start putting my self-crit in the tags from now on#it really does bulk up the posts and it's hard to scroll past#i like reflecting on my work like this though#i've been able to draw a lot more since i've started doing it because it helps me create specific goals for myself#lets me keep pushing myself while still having fun with my art#ralsei#deltarune#deltarune fanart
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this piece gave me such a hard time but anyways here it is for you few spam followers! :>
(I posted this yesterday but then changed it a bit here and there so uh if you saw this already no you didn't-)
#tbh i was feeling real frustrated about this last night cause something felt. wrong? but then i slept and no it's fine-#just goes to show you shouldn't trust your thoughts after 9 pm#< even though i /was/ colouring this after 9 pm...#anyhow this one took 9½ hours whereas the other took 6½#< it's that fcking tree's fault smh#but i think the tree looks. alright? i dunno i've been staring at it too long to tell...#fun fact the leaves were drawn with cloud brushes lmao-#no tags on this one#i'll post it to main with tags whenever the zine's out :)
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All the stock images of the 10th Doctor are. Silly. Like geniune white-backdrop, doing some random pose or expression stock images. Like not "this is the picture png stock image that gets slapped on his wiki and other places" but like the if you Google "stock images of people" it's just that. Except him.
#carry me through these trying times.#sorry i. Am trying not to talk about it a ton but i wanted to mention it at least here and on discord once but.#Im having a bit of a MomentTM. Particularly what im praying(knock on wood) is a hypocondriact one.#It probably wont effect here as much and most my discord but. If i seem a little extra inactive then that is why.#Dont worry I'll make an update post when I am rejoicing in “I was right!! I was just massively overthinking it all and nothing is wrong!!!”#Again. knocking on wood. Only fates I want to jinx are the ones where I say i wont catch feelings for a character and then i do.#anywho. on a lighter note.#I teasered this a little bit in my last post I was wondering if anyone would notice I put Doctor Who in that pile of fixations.#Though I think someone. cough. Mightve had an extra pre-teaser to it due to. me suddenly mentioning it while in a mutual server. cough.#but I think someone else in the server is a double so im just going to. this blog is going to be getting my blunt force of it.#truthfully I normally leave servers that have doubles but considering theyve never talked about them then.#As long as that continues. Im. Will be fine. SOULY JUDT BECAUSE hes new to me and they never spoke of him.#If this was an F/O i already had then even if they never mentioned them I'd still probably go.#this is why i. get a bit bummed whenever someone doesnt list their F/Os. especially because for some reason-#-I've been on a streak of getting into increasingly more and more popular fandoms.#Im beginning to think im just using this as a coping mechanism at this point by overwhelming myself-#-with huge amounts of new big strong feelings that clog and clutter my mind.#wow Kane. selfshipping? to cope? what a new and unique idea /j/j/j/sarcasm#these tags were supposed to end after the first couple of sentences. hello everyone.#If you read all this here's 25$ to go spend on something nice. Get whatever you'd like.#i wouldnt put it past me to fall for different iterations of the Doctor as well but that is purposely exactly why I am-#-skipping ones and doing only this particular iteration one. Thank you wiki page that listed out what episodes are what doctors.#I mean they're all technically the same one. but also not. but also I dont entirely know what im talking about.#okay OKAY clamming up now. Good morning everyone. sending you all peace and tranquility
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school kinda sucks, not even gonna lie
#its been one day#how am i gonna do this for 10 more months??#nothing bad even happened! and it still sucked!#and new uniform rules like oohoohoo that'll make the kids happier#no more sweatpants under my skirt?? have they forgotten we like in canada?? where its fucking freezing??#and we got a lecture in each class about “academic integrity”#and also my hair looked like shit even though it looked good when i woke up#and i have 2 classes with my arch nemesis (some kid i hate for literally no reason other than we compete for top student every year)#very frances and daniel of me#UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#and my friend who i have a crush on moved schools without telling me (we're not that close)#and moved to my ex's school (they're friends)#but she's twins with my good friend who didn't switch schools so i'll see her again#but i wish she didn't leave#and she told some of my friends i think but i only found out cuz my ex told me (we're still friends)#and also my parents didn't let me go to a concerty thing tonight that i really wanted to go to because i have dance#but now i'm not even going to dance because i'm so fucking tired (i need my full 9 hours)(i got about 5 hours last night)#sorry about how many tags i put but i'm too worried to make an actual long post
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#I get tired of people trying to explain what lens I should view the world through; what way I could think that would make everything better#forgive me but I don't care; I do what I do and I do what I can and you don't see the work I do under the hood#I don't want advice on self validation or whatever; I want... I want someone to hold a mirror up so I can actually see myself#by which I mean I want input on how I'm doing; if it's good enough; if it's worth anything; if anything I make is good#everyone things I'm nice; everyone has always thought I'm nice#but given nice leaves me profoundly isolated I don't think I care#not to mention in my opinion what nice in this instance means is that I'm capable of listening#it's mostly that I have manners rather than some quality about me#I'm well behaved and polite and can listen; and that's perceived as nice or even sweet#and it's not like I'm offended by people seeing me that way; but maybe you can get why... I can't do anything with that information#but if I'm doing enough... if I provide any value to the world... I might have heard that less times in my life than years I've lived#that's where I'm totally blind#people don't tend to offer any input; and also people don't tend to let me know what they're thinking#and I in fact am not a mind reader; I can often accurately infer things; but no of that means a thing till it's confirmed#and... well... hopefully no one reads the stupid shit I say and especially not the tags so this is safe and hidden#but truthfully people just like to hear that stuff they're doing is wanted and matters#and I do not#I don't know... gotta go do more cleaning cause I need to#and I have no idea if... I've got a reason for fighting so hard to clean; but I get very little input so... I expect... well...#and thankfully I don't think they read my tags so I can say this#but I really expect they won't take me up on my offer to come out here and get away from their parents; so there will be no pay off#not that I blame them in the slightest... it's just the only possible pay off for this cleaning would be helping someone I like out#and a scrap of company#but then again... in many ways anyone coming out to live with me is the worst thing they could probably do#sorry... I have a rather bleak outlook on many things surrounding myself purely cause of what I infer from the past#there is never pay off; only more shit I need to get done#I will never be loved; I will never be wanted; I will always just kinda be an afterthought that's occasionally worth venting to#no one will ever be particularly interested in anything I'm interested while I'll chase their interests or at least try to#certainly let them talk about them when they want#...though I take that over my normal total isolation... better to at least be permitted to follow in someone's shadow than have nothing
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how about if... i just... don't do my work.....
#ohhh right i was supposed to connect my phone! i totally forgot about that!! and i didn't read that par#of the email you sent me... just all other parts... and even though you told me to do it this tuesday and also last week i just forgot...#pls i'm so unmotivated#i speedran a lot of my work stuff but now it's like#my job computer has freaked out and i should go to the like it services help but i just can't be bothered#idk the guys working there are kinda sketchy (and they're probs on lunch break rn) plusssss i don't have a like access card (????) so like#if i leave the office i cant really get back in so i'll have to knock on the door and hope someone lets me in lol i just don't wanna#the only assignment i have left for the day is something i need the work computer to do but i just don't wanna talk to people to get help..#also none of my bosses or coworkers in my department are here... its just me and this one lady from the economy department so no one knows#she either listening to really loud music in her headphones or she doesn't even have headphones?? either way i can hear her music clearly 😶#also!! the n1 thing i should do but just cant is#im supposed to go to the front desk and like connect my phone to my boss's number so i get her calls because shes on holiday or whatever#but like... i still really really *really* can't talk on the phone#there's just no way im doing that#i just don't know how to fake like#sounds believable?#much more fun to rant in tags than to work 👍#and to think of how obsessed i am with lando norris#OMG PAUL F2 ANNOUNCEMENT RN AS IM TYPING AAAAAA#HELP
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hey man how are you doing after shelbys vod :(
oohhggg itz rough :(( it's still hard to wrap my head around
( read tags for thoughts & things )
#while most signs do point to Him#it's still odd to assume yknow ? like making her situation about abuse..#about a man... like he has more posts about it than ashe does on twt#<- hellsite anyway not surprised#it's still like weird#to think about#2020 come back to me my love .. peak time to be a wilburian#still think speculating when she wanted to leave names out is weird#even though it really does seem like Him#she's just a girl !!! speculating her abuse & trauma is weird !#if the first thing someone does when someone comes out about their abuse & doesn't want to say names#is speculate who it was#they're weird for that#even if it seems obvious who dunnit ! could be just that <- speculation#i don't think i'm gonna post about Him for the time being.. gonna keep my user & layout because i'll be damned if someone takes my username#& i don't have anything to change my layout to really . might if i find something#stand with shubble#meant *she in liek . tag 3.. on mobile so i can't see full tags
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#tag talk#they're putting me on mood stabilizers cause they don't want me to kill god 😔#I'll see how I feel. I get to decide whether it works for me or not of course. feeling manic is fun but maybe not ideal#very hard to get things done when I can't slow down enough to do them. also hyperactivity fucks up my stomach so bad.#I've been listening to my insane-mood playlist for the past week which is way longer than usual#if it were only a day or so I wouldn't have said anything but it's been a while so it's significant enough to bring up#I just found out this morning I have to put in for refills myself which I was like oops cause I'm almost out#but I'm getting them refilled before I leave today. all except the estradiol cause I need Dr authorization for that so I need to see#see if I need to schedule a follow up to get that refilled or if I can just message her and request that refill#also I need a follow up to check my hormone levels they just didn't schedule me a follow up at all so I need that done#thanks tumblr for teaching me what I need to know about hrt so I can make sure my medical professionals do their jobs right#I still need to call about dental and ice needed to since November but eh. I've been brushing and flossing to put off the dentist#I think I'll do that today hopefully. it's on my list to do so we'll see if I get to it or not.#it's nice that I can put in for my refills though. my last place just refilled automatically and I told my Dr to stop prescribing trazadone#but she just kept prescribing it for my sleep even though it fucked up my sleep so I stopped taking it#but I kept picking it up cause I didn't know I could just not pick it up and get it sent back but I ended up with five bottles#and was like bro please stop giving this to me. so it's nice that I can control my refills myself#plus I got told to take my adhd meds twice a day but I'm a lightweight so I only take it once a day so I don't need a refill of that yet#the proper term for lightweight is “sensitive to medication” but let's face it I'm sensitive in general lmao#blah blah. feeling great today will prolly go home and work out to rid myself of this god-killing energy then shower then make phone calls
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other side of the moon - chapter one | formula one imagine
pairing: fem retired formula one driver reader x ??? fem retired formula one driver reader x platonic!kimi antonelli
chapter one: an offer you can refuse
years of solitude has led y/n y/ln down a dark path following her career-ending injury in 2022 but one rookie seems dead set on bringing her back into the fray
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
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“have you seen this?”
it’s too early in the day to be subjected to twitter in y/n’s opinion, but her manager - the one she’s always insisted in not needing - insists upon it. sara’s hand shakes as she hands over her phone, the video already playing loudly.
the video is a poorly clipped together compilation of kimi antonelli, for no better word, gushing about her. it’s earnest and even cute, but not cute enough. the formula one paddock was a vulture pit, one y/n had only escaped three years earlier with her life - barely.
“it’s cool. that’s all it is though,” y/n moves towards the door, picking up her coat and refusing to turn back towards sara, “i’ve told you since jenson insisted i hire you, there’s no way in hell i will ever go back to that paddock. and that’s the end of it, please. i’ll do any stupid vitamin ad or female empowerment talk if it makes you happy, but i can’t go back there.”
y/n grabbed her keys and left the apartment, leaving sara in her wake. sara reached into her pocket and pulled out a tattered letter with ‘y/n’ scrawled on the front in awful handwriting. she left it on the kitchen island and left, understanding this was likely to be her last time in this apartment - there's stupid and there's what she was doing right now, there was no way she would still be employed in the morning.
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girlsonthegrid
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tagged: yourusername
girlsonthegrid: today we look back at the biggest what if for women in formula one - y/n y/ln. the 26-year-old drove for mclaren from 2020 to 2022 before she sustained a career-ending injury at silverstone. y/ln was the first ever female f1 race winner with her emphatic victory at monza in 2021 and the first ever female formula 2 champion with her win in 2019. her career lasted just 30 races and she hasn't been seen in the paddock or around any drivers since the crash. there have been reports that she has been approached about a mentor role but considering how fast her management rejected and shut down sky sports about a commentary role, this is also unlikely. what would you like to see from her if she ever comes out of hiding?
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user1: i mourn for her everyday
user2: the way she paved the way for so many but can't stand to be in the paddock to see what she did for the sport
user3: i really don't blame her
user4: doriane is the mercedes reserve and abbi is alpine's! her work is there even if she isn't and i know i'll always be grateful for that
user5: she's so overrated, if she didn't crash she still would've been out of formula 1 by now
user6: me when i'm the most wrong ever
user7: i can't believe there are still men to this day that think she wasn't great? literal world champions like max, lewis, fernando, seb and jenson have all said that she could've won a championship
user8: i mean no shade to lando but i think y/n would've made it 100x harder for max this season in that mclaren
user9: the way jenson tried to say that in the nicest way possible in las vegas lol
user10: and max agreed with him LOL
user11: the way it wasn't even proper lando shade or oscar shade like twitter painted it to be but like max just praising his bestie
user12: he does not play about her as he should
user13: i mean he's the only one we know y/n still actually talks to
user14: i can't wait for the tell-all biography that exposes half the grid because like how much have you must have fucked up for her to never speak to you again
user15: when twitter likes were public she was caught liking a bunch of tweets bout mick when he got his first points so like she doesn't even have hard feelings to the guy who put her in the barrier sooo
user16: it was proven it was break failure???? mick did nothing wrong that's why she still likes things praising him
user17: that crash really robbed us of the best ever f1 relationship with y/n and lando
user18: you know that's part of the reason that she doesn't speak to lando right?
user19: because she wished it was him not her?
user20: NO! because she hated that whole 'ship'
user21: and lando leaned into it way too much
user22: it made me a bit uncomfortable and i'm not even y/n
user23: AND she said on the beyond the grid podcast that she thought those rumours were really reductive and relegated her to just a love interest of her teammate rather than a race winner
user24: kimi antonelli please bring her back to us
user25: praying she'll listen to the literal child
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texts between y/n y/ln (bold) and max verstappen (italics)
did u give them my fucking address
my lawyer says to always deny everything?
i also actually have no idea what you are talking about…
i just got home and there’s a fucking letter from KIMI ANTONELLI on my kitchen counter
it’s creepy and a mad invasion of privacy
i did NOT give them your address?
i gave them sara’s contact details so they wouldn’t be able to directly get to you and i honestly thought she would be too scared to ask you
she showed me all the clips of him praising me.
it didn’t work.
it’s been three years y/n…
and it still hasn’t been long enough.
all i’m saying is read the letter, as creepy as it might be, he is just an 18 year old entering the lion’s den you could at least reply to him even if you don’t take up the offer
although i read they were going to pay you £10 million a year??? was that real?
unfortunately it is very real.
i didn’t think i was still worth that much
you are worth that and more, just give him a chance. we’ve both met him, he’s a sweet kid.
for now.
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it was cold in her apartment, y/n hadn’t shut the window from when she opened them that morning. in fact she hadn’t moved from the kitchen since she set eyes on the letter. it was bold she’d give him that.
the letter was crumpled as if it had gone through hell to get to her (it probably had) and the handwriting was a serious reminder of just how young kimi is. y/n had wondered if her maternal instincts would ever kick in like all the older women in her life insisted it would. sure she had felt intense feelings of love for her childhood cats and had cared her formula one cars (regina and heather, they were named after mean girls, because that is who they had to be on track) like they were children. but that true maternal feeling had never come to her, until now.
all y/n could think about was kimi. how young he was, how much he was set to lose. not everyone was her, the worst thing wasn’t going to happen to everyone - it just always seemed to happen to her.
her loud phone alarm jolted her out of her daydream, reminding her to take her painkillers. as she poured herself a glass of water, y/n slammed down the glass and ripped open the letter.
dear miss y/n y/ln my name is andrea kimi antonelli and i am going to be driving for mercedes amg f1 team in 2025. we met very briefly after i won all three races at mugello and lifted the italian f4 championship trophy. i know you were there on mclaren PR but for me it changed my life. you have always been my biggest inspiration alongside michael schumacher (i am italian, you must understand). it was always my dream to race alongside you and maybe even be teammates, i’d even betray toto and leave mercedes to make that happen (please don’t tell him i told you that). i know that can never happen now, but it could happen in another way? i know like me you grew up seeing niki lauda supporting and mentoring the mercedes drivers and i was wondering if you would be my mentor - who cares about george anyway. i know you’ve never come back to the paddock and are unlikely to do so for little old me. but if you could just think about it that would be great, if you don’t ask, you’ll never get! i hope this letter wasn’t horribly offensive, i mean it when i say you’re my favourite!!! love, kimi (p.s. i was at monza 2021, so you could even consider me a good luck charm) (p.p.s you won monza 2021 completely on merit but i was there) (p.p.p.s please don’t think i’m an idiot) (p.p.p.p.s i also loved interlagos 2020 that’s a super underrated drive)
with tears in her eyes, y/n placed the letter back on the counter, grabbed the glass of water and made her way to her bedroom. painkillers taken with a wince, she still hadn’t gotten used to the size of the pills even three years into taking them, y/n shuffled under the duvet.
the offer was there and it seemed sincere. her accountant would tell her that the money was worth the mental turmoil, even if she just did it for one season and returned to her little cave in west london.
there was no doubt she felt something for kimi - a kinship, a frienship or a maternal yearning - but was it worth ripping off all the bandages and opening herself back up to all the scrutiny again?
she would sleep on it.
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yourusername
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yourusername: much to think about these days. like how the fuck this app works now?
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user1: first post in three years and it’s THIS?
user2: i am not complaining
user3: i am savouring every little piece in case she goes missing for another three years
mclarenf1: the queen has returned
user4: no thanks to you
user5: how about we keep my wife’s name out of your fucking mouth
user6: socials admin i know it is not you specifically but i really don’t know how you can post up here like you’re completely absolved of your involvement in this. your car had break failure that broke her fucking back - it is a miracle she is even still walking! and you still don’t accept any responsibility for it
user7: i love y/n but like how is it mclaren’s fault? break failure happens all the time?
user8: well it’s in one part the fact that they were using her as a test dummy because it was a new faulty part that mclaren was experimenting with that was on her car and NOT lando’s and the fact that to this day when they feel like it they’ll heap guilt onto mick schumacher
user9: without being disrespectful there were two formula one careers that were ended that day because mclaren have kept to the narrative that it was mick that put her into the barriers eventhough siedel admitted when he left mclaren that it was a faulty break part that caused it.
user10: clock it
user11: yes clock it but maybe on a different post because it’s y/n’s return to the internet and all yall can talk about is the most traumatic event in her life?
kimiantonelli: i also love clairo
user12: what is bro doing?
user13: be quiet he’s our best hope of y/n coming back to the paddock let him cook
user14: name three songs local
kimiantonelli: bags (live), alewife and blouse
user15: this motherfucker might just do it
maxverstappen1: i miss brando :/
yourusername: you know my address
yourusername: use it since you like to give it out so much
maxverstappen1: I DID NOT GIVE THEM YOUR ADDRESS
user16: y/lnstappen friendship is BACK
user17: it was never gone?
user18: but now we get to see it :P
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when she woke the next morning, y/n knew she had to read the letter again before jumping into anything. in her sleep she was plagued with memories of the past, but not the usual ones that haunted her in the dark. there were no flames, no hospitals, no career-ending injuries. no, this time she was transported back to 2020 and her first few races of her formula one career.
march 2020.
the paddock was much bigger in formula one than it had been in formula two with hundreds more people running around, barging through crowds, hitting y/n on the way through and not even stopping to apologise. she had thought briefly that she would be making more noise as the first female racer to take part in a race since forever - y/n even thought that she’d made a bit of a splash during preseason testing, nestled between her teammate lando and alex in the red bull in fifth.
but she was invisible. even with the garish orange path to follow to the mclaren garage, y/n struggled to get through the crowds of people brandishing their paddock passes. her trainer had gone ahead to set up her driver room which left y/n to push through and arrive to briefing ten minutes late.
“i’m so sorry, i got lost and by the time i was going in the right direction the paddock had filled up?”
y/n stammered, not quite able to make eye contact with zak brown. the american wasn’t tall in comparison to the general public but he towered over y/n and the disapproving stare didn’t do much to help.
“just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
zak snipped, waving his hand in y/n’s direction, telling her to take a seat. y/n rushed to the nearest empty seat and looked for her teammate in the room. lando was sat just three seats to her right on a small table. y/n tried to make eye contact with lando but he avoided her gaze like it was burning him, so much for the ‘big brother’ act he had put on at the car launch.
the engineers stood in front of the screen and started their long-winded presentation about the prospects for the season ahead. y/n pulled her note book out and frantically started taking notes, she didn’t know if that was normal for formula one drivers, but knowing as much as possible couldn’t hurt.
y/n copied down the warnings about possible tyre wear in turn three when she heard some soft sniggers, like someone was trying to stifle their laughter. this drew y/n out of her focus on the presentation, looking around the meeting room to locate the perpetrator.
lando caught her eye immediately. he had a light blush across his face and his mouth was covered by his hand. he looked guilty, guiltier than the rest of the room who were listening intently to the engineers. y/n raised her eyebrow in question.
“i’m sorry are we distracting you two?”
zak interrupted the presentation, turning to look at y/n and lando.
“no, sorry sir,” y/n replied turning her chair back to face the screen. “lando?” zak pressed.
“i’m sorry zak but y/n was distracting me with her note-taking,” lando forced out between his boyish giggles. “i’ve never taken notes, i didn’t realise you would be sucking up to the engineers this early on?”
“i’ve always taken notes? is it a problem? i’m sorry if i was distracting you lando.”
“yeah we’ll see how much those notes help you on track, rookie.”
lando spat over the table. it was uncharacteristically mean for the lando she had seen in the mclaren social content and the lando she spoke with at the car launch. y/n felt tears prickle in her eyes but she swallowed them down, she couldn’t cry yet - or at least not in view of all the most important people on the team.
“right. we’ll get back to business then.”
the rest of the meeting went by in a blur for y/n, but despite the outburst from lando, she continued to take her notes, she would be damned if some comments from lando would fuck up her entire race weekend routine. y/n took her time when zak dismissed them from the meeting, not wanting to look unprofessional.
moving towards the door, y/n’s shoulder hit someone else’s. she looked up to make eye contact with lando yet again.
“you better not make a habit of making contact with me, rookie,” lando said, a slight smirk but a harsh look in his eyes.
“are you like okay?”
“why wouldn’t i be?” lando replied pushing past through the door.
“i don’t know, you’re just a little frosty this morning? did i do something?”
“why would i be thinking about you, seriously? this is my team, know your place and we’ll get on just fine”.
with that lando was gone and y/n was left puzzled. i guess PR really does work wonders, y/n thought before making her own way to her drivers room.
her trainer, luca, wasn’t there when she managed to locate the room but all of her gear was already neatly put away like they had discussed. y/n cracked open an electrolyte drink and opened her notebook to study the meeting points.
there was a loud knock at the door and before y/n could even utter a “come in”, the mystery visitor barged into the room. daniel ricciardo announced his arrival with a packet of tim tams thrown at y/n and a quick “howdy” before he started rifling through her stuff and studying her helmet.
“ah, another cool dude who has a cuddly guy on their helmet,” daniel said, picking up her helmet, pointing at the cartoon version of her childhood cat.
“oh that’s schumi, when we travelled for karting we always brought him up until he died of old age, but i still want him with me whenever i race.” y/n said, nervous that the heartfelt explanation would be deemed uncool by one of the coolest racers she had ever seen.
“oh that’s surprisingly cute, i bet schumi was a big hit in the paddock back in the day.”
“he sure was, he’s how i charmed max into not hating me after i took him out once,” y/n chuckled thinking back to the race where max stormed up to her with angry tears in his eyes until y/n practically threw schumi at him. in just five seconds, max had calmed down and schumi was happily purring in the young dutchman’s lap.
“that sounds like max. but speaking of the other young whippersnappers in the paddock, how is our lando treating you? i bet zak and that can’t keep up with you two…” daniel asked, slumping to the floor, taking one of her drinks from the mini fridge.
“oh. i am getting used to him, we’ll put it that way?”
“he’s not being rude is he?”
“no! well. he insists on calling me rookie and keeps making comments about me crashing into him and made fun of me taking notes in briefing but i’m sure that such the british banter.”
“you’re british?”
“well. um. yeah, you got me there.”
daniel grabbed her hands, forcing y/n to look him in the eyes rather than her very interesting shoes.
“i know lando is like some media darling, but so are you. don’t let him push you around, he may have been in this team a while but you’re just as good as him if not better. you’re here to prove yourself, not to play second fiddle, okay?”
it was the first time someone had actually tried to talk to her properly since getting to the paddock. again, tears climbed to her eyes, but this time she let one creep out. daniel wiped it away.
“we made the mistake of isolating max when he was young and new, we won’t make the same mistake - we can’t have two of you running rampant around here,” y/n let out a wet laugh which daniel returned, “just come to renault if you need anything from me. max will be there for you, you know, and seb, kimi, fernando and all the old men will listen to you. don’t rot in your drivers room or hotel suite and think you’re not wanted here.”
y/n nodded, feeling some butterflies in her stomach. she was actually here - a formula one driver. a seven-time race winner wants her here, world champions want her here. a private-school fuckboy wasn’t going to ruin her first ever race weeekend.
“thank you daniel.”
“i have to dash, but i’m serious, we’re here for you. and i would be honoured to kick that little shit’s ass for you, okay?”
the australian left in just as loud fashion as he came, but in the remaining silence, y/n finally felt some peace. this was her chance, and she wasn’t going to mess it up.
present.
y/n couldn’t let that happen to kimi. the young italian was just so unbelievably earnest in his letter that y/n couldn’t bear the thought of his kindness being taken advantage of. george russell had never been outwardly callous but with his attack on max late last season and his complete radio silence with y/n since her crash made her suspicious.
as she prepared to ask max for kimi’s number, sara (who did actually still have a job) sent her a link.
sara: zak brown believes mclaren has the strongest pairing on the grid with no more childish recklessness like in the early 2020s
sara: do you want us to put out a statement or ignore as usual?
y/n clicked on the link, even though she knew it would just annoy her to the point that her phone might become closely acquainted with the thames.
as the formula one world gears up for the 2025 season, zak brown has already stated his confidence for mclaren this season. the papaya team will be coming into the 2025 season as reigning constructors champions and lando norris and oscar piastri will be aiming to add the world drivers championship to that as well.
when zak brown sat down with us earlier this week, the mclaren ceo did not beat around the bush, stating that mclaren have the strongest pairing on the grid. with red bull promoting liam lawson in a test and, mercedes putting unproven kimi antonelli next to george russell and ferrari gambling with charles leclerc and lewis hamilton, brown might just be right.
in their journey to constructors champions, brown recognised that as a team they had straightened out all of their ‘growing pains’. this is exemplified in oscar piastri completing all laps in the 2024 season.
like they usually do, y/n y/ln’s particularly rabid twitter fans will probably detect some ‘shade’ towards the former driver. brown did touch on the prior mclaren drivers during his reign as ceo, saying that the team had some childish recklessness, but now they have a team that all know their place.
y/n y/ln hasn’t spoken about anything formula one related since her retirement, even forgoing the opportunity to congratulate the team that took the chance on her for winning the championship - something brown did not mince his words on off camera. brown lamented about y/ln’s silence, labelling her a brat and ungrateful for not still thanking him for allowing a woman to compete in formula one.
will mclaren make it back-to-back constructors championships? and will they sweep both championships this season?
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she needed that loud-mouthed american’s head on a silver platter. the letter had almost sucked her back into the world of formula one, only for the man who discarded her like a broken toy when his car had malfunctioned and smashed her and her career into a concrete wall to call her an ungrateful brat.
fuck him. fuck mclaren. and fuck that dumbass reporter for giving him the time of day.
y/n didn’t throw her phone from her balcony but pulled up her texts with max.
texts between y/n y/ln (bold) and max verstappen (italic)
have you read this absolute hogwash
zak brown believes mclaren has the strongest pairing on the grid with no more childish recklessness like in the early 2020s
i 100% get why you wanted to put him in a wall last season
you watched last season?
shut up not the time
did you text me just to call your old tyrannical boss a fraud?
i was going to ask for kimi’s number but now i’m back at square one
noooooooo
i want to be there for him, the way no one was for us.
but this is the bs they write about me when i haven’t been seen or heard from in three years, imagine the shite they come up with when i’m the paddock every weekend
WHEN?
no no no
i’ll give you kimi’s number
contact: kimi antonelli (mercedes)
you decide what you want to do
as much as i would kill to have you around the paddock again… even in the vicinity of george
i want you to do what you are comfortable with
thanks max
i’m not giving you a yes but i’m definitely thinking about it
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fin.
note: omg that's part one??????? i had this idea and have been planning and adding to it for a couple days. no spoilers but there will be multiple love interests, backstabbing and all that lovely stuff - i just love the drama !!! (yes i will finish guilty as sin at some point as well). i hope you enjoy the prose as well - first time writing that way on here lol ?! let me know if you liked it, who you'd like to see her with and what you'd like to see happen!
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#other side of the moon#astonmartinii
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