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kelyon · 3 years ago

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WIP Wednesday

Meant to post this earlier today, but it didn’t happen.

I’ve never done a WIP Wednesday post before. Mostly, that’s because for the past two years, my WIP has been Golden Cuffs and Golden Rings and everything else had to come after that. But now I’m between major fics, so it’s time to catch up on minor fics.

Works in Progress (ie “stuff I’ve started”)

Presents-- Chapter 5 “Giving” is top priority. This was my fic for Rumbelle Christmas in July, and I really ought to finish it before I start something for Rumbelle Secret Santa. Currently at 434 words

Nephila-- Chapter 6 “Orphans” has gone untouched since July. Remember when I called this my once-a-fiscal-quarter fic? Well, life happens. I’ve got a renewed interest in this one lately, since it feels a bit more humorous and my fic thoughts have been angsty. Current count is 1080 words.

Pending Oneshots (ie “stuff I haven’t started”)

Unknown RSS Fic-- I haven’t done Rumbelle Secret Santa since 2013. But I really liked doing RCIJ. It was a fun challenge to write “on spec” as a gift for someone else, and on a time limit! This is the most important thing I’ll do between Nov 25th and Dec 27th.

Solstice-- This is a Christmas fic for myself. A short, special moment between Belle and Rumple in the Dark Castle. Since the solstice of the title is the winter one, I’ll try to get this written by Dec 21. No promises on what year.

Pink Lotus-- Not a Rumbelle fic! This is a planned story for Avatar: The Last Airbender. Most of my fics start out as a way to answer a question. This time the question is: Does Uncle Iroh fuck? (The answer is yes. Obviously. The story is showing the reader how Uncle Iroh fucks. Okay, the answer to that question is very well.) I just want to get this one out of my system so I can focus on other things.

Contract-- A Storybrooke Rumbelle fic where Gold and Belle go over the terms of their new BDSM relationship.

Small Multi-Chapters

Live Wire-- This was going to be a Halloween fic, but September and October were not kind to me this year. Besides, hauntings can happen at any time! This is a story where Belle is a ghost and Gold and his son Bae move into the house she is haunting. I actually don’t know how long this fic is going to be, but I feel it as being at least two or three chapters. Either that or one chapter that’s 20k long.

Courtship: A Golden Rings Story-- How Mr. Gold and Lacey French met, dated, and got married. I’m not in any rush to get this one out. I just know I’ll have to write it before I start on Golden Love

Major Fics

For the first time in my very young fic writing career, I’m considering planning out two fics at the same time.

Dark Mistress-- I promised myself I would write this fic before I started Golden Love. The most important reason I have for that is that I want to have a base of understanding of Bae before I start writing Neal in Golden Love. In this fic, Dark One Belle makes a deal to have Spinner Rumple as her plaything. While Belle and Rumple figure out their feelings for each other, Baelfire has to come to terms with his relationship with his father. I’m going to start pre-writing on this during my “break.” Chapters will start posting in winter of 2022.

Golden Love-- Part Three of the Golden Cuffs ‘verse! This is the one where Belle takes a tumble over the town line. Right now my ideas for this are angsty as fuck. Like, I was thinking about the warnings I would put in the tags on this one and my biggest takeaway was I couldn’t let people read it. So I’m gonna need to work on that, figure out how to either make this less of an angst-fest, or just how to not make it at all.

#rumbelle fic #rumbelle

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lauramkaye · 4 years ago

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Invisible Writing: or, I’m Still Here!

So recently someone wrote me a really sweet and much appreciated feedback email. It really made my day, but one line of it kind of took me aback - they said something like “since you aren’t very active anymore” (or it might have been “since you aren’t posting much anymore” or something like that.)

And I was like... what? what are you talking about, I’m writing all the time? I mean, there were a few months when I didn’t do anything but work OT because of COVID but other than that??

And then I thought some more about what I’ve been working on recently and I realized what’s happened: I’ve been writing a ton, I just haven’t FINISHED much in a while, because all my stuff in progress is long.

I haven’t posted anything yet in 2020. I posted four things in 2019:

A Little World Made Cunningly (just under 50,000 words, posted in chapters from November 2018 to February 2019)

Love Vaster than Empires, Chapter 1 (just under 10,000 words, posted April 2019)

My Heart In Hiding, Chapter 13 (just under 25,000 words, posted September 2019)

Love of a Particular Kind (just under 60,000 words, posted in chapters from August 2019 to October 2019.)

So, I can see where it looks like I haven’t done anything for nearly a year! But that’s because most of what I’ve been writing is on novel or novella-length stories.

A brief digression about my personal philosophy of works in progress: in general, I don’t start posting a work until the first draft is finished. Then I post it either after beta and revisions are done (one-shots), or chapter by chapter as I finish beta and revisions for each chapter (multi-chaptered works.) The only exceptions to this are My Heart In Hiding and Love Vaster Than Empires. My Heart In Hiding is plotted and outlined at a high level but it’s so long I’m posting it as a serialized novel; fine points in the story and in the outline change as I actually write the chapters and see how the high-level ideas work out in practice. Love Vaster Than Empires, like All Our Strength and All Our Sweetness before it, is more of a short story anthology than a single work, and I chose to publish those as chaptered works instead of single ones mostly for convenience. Pretty much anything else I write, I don’t start posting it until I know I have a complete draft done, because that way I know I’m more likely to be able to post chapters relatively regularly, since editing is generally a more predictable process for me than drafting.

Anyway, if you’ve been wondering if I’ve stopped writing fic or whatever (or just when I might post again), here is a list of the stuff I have going (this is only stuff that is both at least partially written and that I’m more or less actively working on currently. There’s more in various stages of planning.)

At the Turning of the Tide: Clint is a vampire. Phil doesn’t know. They are stupid in love and pining. Will they work something out? (I mean, I’m writing it, so duh, of course they will.) About 20K. First draft complete, currently in beta. Will probably be the first in a series because I have prequel and sequel ideas already. This will likely be the next thing I post.

Bonus snippet: He thought of it sometimes, of saying sure, I was an English longbowman and I died at Agincourt, but then I woke up again and a French swordsman kept me in thrall until I put an arrow through his heart and ran away. Or yeah, you guessed it, we’re pretty sure Nat’s immortal, there was this thing with Rasputin one time, my blood was involved, it was a whole big thing.

Love Vaster Than Empires, Chapter 2: Phil gets Clint a Valentine’s Day surprise. (It is a surprise that Phil wears. Yes, a sexy surprise.) 10K and counting, currently being drafted. Probably next in the queue after the vamp story posts. Maybe 3/4 done.

Bonus snippet: “I’d honestly thought I had to choose,” he said. “That I was being greedy, hoping to find someone who could… fit, with all the different parts of my life. Did I really think that I could find a partner who could put up with the job and be compatible with my personality and who would also have complimentary sexual needs? I might as well wish for Captain America to rise from the bottom of the ocean and tell me he’s always dreamed of dating an older man with a ridiculous schedule and a closet full of sex toys.”

Rise the Same and Prove Mysterious: This is the modern fantasy AU novel where Phil is a dragon and Clint is a sorcerer, and they are charged with undergoing a year of magical rituals to form a permanent bond that will enable them to anchor a casting circle for SHIELD. Currently just under 30k, being drafted. I’m probably about 25% done with this one at most so it’ll be a while.

Bonus snippet: “Wow,” he said. “You’re really pretty as a dragon.” Then he realized what he’d just said. “I mean, um. Handsome? Um, deadly? Sorry, I didn’t mean to be insulting or anything.” Phil really was pretty, though, all sharp and gleam and sinuous grace, his scales a thousand subtle shades of black and gray and midnight blue, with an iridescent sheen on his wings like spilled oil. Clint kind of wanted to pet him.

Another one, from Phil’s POV: “I caught you a fish,” Phil blurted, holding it out. It didn’t seem like much, all of a sudden, not in the face of the cozy little nest—damn it, lair—that Clint had made while he was gone. He should have caught him a bighorn sheep, or a deer. Maybe a moose. Would Clint like a moose? He could go get one. Moose was a little tough, though. Better braised, and they didn’t really have any way to do that. “I mean, I can get you something else. If you don’t like it.”

And Still The Sun: this is actually the third story in the series that started with All Our Strength and All Our Sweetness. Unlike the first two, this is one long chaptered story, and it is the post-Avengers fix-it story for this universe, where instead of using Kree blood, Fury asks Tony to consult and they wind up saving Phil using Extremis. Currently around 25k, but it’s going to be novel-length when it’s done because I have Ideas about how a Clint and Phil who were in a long-established, thriving kinky relationship would recover after the whole Loki/TAHITI thing. Also featuring lots of Fury, Natasha, and Tony friendship stuff and SO MANY PHEELS.

Bonus Snippet: Clint stroked Phil’s torso through the thin cotton gown, feeling electrodes and wires and the bumps of his ribs. His throat ached at the evidence of how thin Phil had gotten, and his eyes stung. He turned his face into Phil’s side and breathed deep, because Phil smelled like… well, like someone who had been more or less killed and then cryogenically frozen for over a month and then nearly exploded from experimental nanobots, actually, but Clint knew what death smelled like, and Phil didn’t smell like death. Clint would take any amount of mad-science-hospital-char-stink over that.

#fanfic writing #Fic writer's problems #PHLINT

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joeys-piano · 4 years ago

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Writerfest - Joey’s Interrogation

Tagged by the lovely @thewriterinthecottage , who really wanted to pick my brain and see what kind of writer I am so we can compare notes

Fandom: I’ve written for a few different fandoms in the past; but as of right now, my focus is on Bungou Stray Dogs. I’m not much of a fandom-hopper when it comes to creating content, so you won’t find me juggling a lot of fandoms at once because it’s easy for me to lose track of things that way.

Where do you post? I post on Twitter, Tumblr, AO3 and sometimes my Kofi page. All of those links are in my blog description. Twitter is more for experimental writing and whatever floats my boat, my Tumblr audience gets the best content I curated from my Twitter writing, AO3 gets the best content from both Tumblr and Twitter, and Kofi is there for me to post some wholesome stuff occasionally. So if you want to participate in polls and vote for wacky shenanigans or writing challenges you want me to do, Twitter is my sandbox in that regard while the other platforms get my more polished stuffs.

Most Popular Oneshot: For the BSD fandom, my most popular oneshot was an odazai smut I wrote back in April called Hold Me A Little Closer. I was stressed with my creative writing professor at the time and pretty much wrote this story because I wanted to create something that I wanted to create. I was sick and tired of his assignments and pretty much fueled all of my pent-up creativity and into this lovely oneshot that many of y’all have enjoyed :’3

Most Popular Multichap: For the BSD fandom, I don’t really have one. For fandoms that I’m no longer a part of, I have a few.

Favorite Story Written So far: Hands down, it has to be the grueling and very monostorious fic I wrote back in August for Oda - called Savor The Moment. As of right now, it’s the longest BSD project I’ve ever published and it’s at a whopping 12.5k ish. Oda is one of my favorite characters from the series and what inspired this story was my fascination for Dark Era, my fascination for Oda’s past and where he came from before joining the Mafia, my fascination with his relationship with the kids, the curry shop owner and Dazai, and my love for writing about the weather and food. I wrote, rewrote, edited, and revised this story in the span of a month and of everything I’ve written, you could tell how much love I had for this project and for what I was doing. It’s not an easy read by any means and you definitely have to take your time with it because it dives into light and heavy themes, but it’s a worthwhile read if you really love what I mentioned and want to see how I flesh out Oda.

Fic you were nervous to post: Anything regarding physical intimacy because I don’t get it, but I find it fascinating. As an autistic biroace, exploring physical intimacy through writing is an interesting endeavour and I do believe it shapes how I approach a lot of the relationship writing that I do and what I tend to gravitate towards when I write how comfortable characters are with each other and when they share some sweet or indulgent moments. I wouldn’t say I’m nervous, per se - but as someone who’s exploring topics like this through my own perspective and what resonates with me, it does make me wonder how people not like me perceive it. If that makes sense.

How do you choose titles: I’m not ashamed to admit that I wander through Goodreads and see what titles are being published, find a few that I like, take the elements that I do like, and mesh something together that I find fitting for a story. I like looking at published books for inspiration for titles to see what the trends are and how other writers do it. Sometimes, I’ll use phrases or lines of dialogue from my fic as the title if I find it fitting or I literally use the theme or main message of the story as the title.

Do you outline? I outline enough to know the rules of my story so I can figure how I want to break them (if it’s a multi-chapter project), and I outline enough to at least know the beginning of a story so I can start writing. I struggle with beginnings so knowing how I want to start makes things easier for me. Sometimes I’ll draft what the general path of the story will be, but I always deviate when I’m actually writing because I’m a discovery writer and through the act of writing, I have a much better grasp of what the story wants to be. I don’t care if I deviate a whole lot or if I have to rewrite what I’ve written. To me, that’s just part of my process and I embrace that. I find that I enjoy writing a lot more when I’m loose about these things because that’s where my experimental style really thrives.

Complete: Ever since April of 2020, I’ve made a goal of publishing one fic onto AO3 per month. That’s why I’ve been a productive fic writer this year despite the world going to shit and the Hell that is remote learning. More than anything, that goal has taught me a lot of things about myself that I didn’t know and it’s helped me fall back in love with writing and in me figuring out why I write and what I want to write. Since April of 2020, I’ve posted 18 works onto my AO3 and many more on my Twitter and Tumblr. Ranging from drabbles to ficlets to oneshots and poetry!

In-progress: I’m currently working on a writing challenge that my Twitter followers voted on, and it’s an AU where Oda and Dazai left the Mafia together and burned the belongings that indoctrinated them into the organization -- Dazai burns his overcoat while Oda burns a pair of sunglasses (reference to his original character design where he wore sunglasses ToT). Another fic I’m working on this month is transcribing a poem I wrote in October and making it a full-fledged fic! Once again, it revolves around Oda and Dazai. However this time, they’re an established and domestic couple who’re snuggling under a blanket as winter encroaches upon their futon. That’s a feel-good fic and I’m all for it!

Coming Out Soon/Not Started: I have a TBW (to be written) list that I don’t want to reveal just yet since those fics will come out in 2021, but I can tell you that they’re intricate character studies and of me exploring different relationships and dynamics that may’ve occurred while in canon :3c

Prompts: I fulfilled 10 kiss prompts that I received in October and finished the last one earlier this week or a week ago. With the holidays approaching and with me wanting to finish some stories before 2020, I’m afraid I won’t be taking on any more prompts for this year. However, if you want to prompt me something for me to think about, my Tumblr ask is always open for that or you can participate in my random and occasional Twitter polls where you get to pick what I do for a story.

Upcoming Work Most Excited About: I have a soukoku WIP that I wrote back in September. The first draft is complete. It just needs a lot of rewriting and edits. But when I’m done, that’ll be my longest published work for the fandom. Why this excites me is because it’s the only time I’ll ever write a main pair fic that’s 20k+ in word count and knowing how this fandom views soukoku, I’m interested in what engagement would be like compared to me writing for my OTP and just experience what that’s like.

#bsd #Joey Speaks #fanfic writer #writing community #tagged #tag game

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ot7always · 4 years ago

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A longer-than-I-intended writing update!

Since I haven’t given any updates besides a bit of anger and frustration at my laptop a few days ago, I figured I would give this tiny little update into what I’m up to.

Fractured

I’m currently working away at Fractured pt 3, which I would say is currently about 50-70% done depending on how I end up writing the next few scenes. I’m not very good at estimating length until I’m closer to done, so the range is pretty wide there.

I’m trying to give myself a bit more leeway in writing because I pushed myself so hard writing Quarantined Roommates. As much as I absolutely loved writing that piece, it was quite tiring to push myself to write at least 1k every night - and by every night I mean EVERY night until it was done.

My daily goal for writing this next chapter of Fractured has been 1k/day, but I’m reducing that goal to 500-1k words per day because I feel like my brain deserves a bit of a breather. I’m on summer break, after all. But I’m still chipping away at that chapter every day, so that will be out before long.

My next “big” work...

In terms of other projects, after this chapter of Fractured I think I’ve decided to work on my Namjoon College!AU! If you liked the cute lighthearted vibe of Quarantined Roommates I think you’ll really like what I have planned for this one. With so much negativity in the world right now, I really can’t handle writing more angst on top of what’s in Fractured. Cute, smutty pieces seem to be my jam right now considering my enjoyment writing Roommate!JK, so my next oneshot will be similar in emotion, but of course with a different plot and characterization.

I also have some collabs planned for October/early November! As far away as that sounds, planning these types of things takes quite a while, especially when coordinating with other people. Odds are by the time I’ve finished this next chapter of Fractured as well as the above Namjoon fic, I’ll be fully focused on collabs, and Fractured where time permits. While I can’t reveal much about the collabs yet (whether it’s secret or whether it hasn’t been decided yet), I can say that one will be a Seokjin fluff/smut fic, but VERY different from my existing works.

So what is my posting schedule going to look like?

These estimations are going to be incredibly loose. Besides Fractured pt 3, I really don’t have a real outline for these works, and therefore these timeframes are based on an estimation of how long I think they’re going to be.

I suspect that the next chapter of Fractured will be up by mid-August.

When I examine the fragmented plot points in my head, something tells me the Namjoon College!AU is going to be ~15-20k+ words. If that��s the case, this probably won’t get posted until mid-September, especially considering I’ll be going back to school full time in September.

Collab fic #1 will probably be next. I don’t know exactly what this will be so it’s hard to estimate a timeframe, but unless something incredibly detailed comes to me, I doubt this will be more than 10k words. In which case, I can see it being posted in late September or early October.

Collab fic #2 will be next, and on the bright side I already have this one plotted out loosely, and it will likely be around 5-10k depending on how writing goes. This one has a hard deadline of late October, and I can therefore guarantee this fic for the last weekend of October. Which, oh, would you look at that - is Halloween.

But... where’s Fractured?

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven’t planned for Fractured pt 4 yet. I actually already have very loose ideas of what will take place in part 4, but due to the heavy nature of that series I prefer to break up chapters by working on other projects. In the case of the piece I’m writing between 3 and 4, this is the Namjoon fic. Which, yes, will eat up a lot of my time because it’s gonna be long, but I’m going to write it because I’m excited and have a lot of ideas for it.

I’ll be writing Fractured part 4 whenever I have the time, but I have to say that I don’t really like having multiple partially written pieces at once. Which means that I will probably be putting all of my energy into those collab fics, and only putting all of my energy into Fractured once time permits.

I’d love to be able to promise a Fractured update between the other updates, but I don’t want to back myself into an obligation I might not have the time to fulfill once I’m busy with classes and other responsibilities.

So in short, yes, Fractured MIGHT have a mini-hiatus from mid-August to late-ish-October, but then again, if time allows, I might be able to bust out part 4. Reading week is in October, after all.

#updates

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fleetofshippyships-archive · 5 years ago

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Fanfic Author Meme

Tagged by @diligent-thunder and @rockmarina =)

Okay, so I’m me, and I talked way too much, so I’m putting this under a cut to save your dashes. You’re welcome 😘

Please do not reblog this post.

Author Name:

Fleetofshippyships + Knowyourincantations + Legendaryroar

Fandoms You Write For:

(in order of decreasing # of fics) Harry Potter, Voltron, Merlin, Yuri on Ice, Star Trek, Star Wars and then a few one-offs that aren’t really worth mentioning.

Where You Post:

AO3 primarily, Tumblr, trying to post more on Pillowfort, I also post on a couple of sites for knowyourincantations

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story:

RestraintNone of my old multi-chapter fics are available to read at this time and I don’t really write multi-chapter fics anymore.

If oneshot/drabble collections or two-shots count, then:

Fleetofshippyships: Vanilla and Sweet Spices (Drarry, Explicit, 2 chapters, 20k)

and this really doesn’t count, but technically it has multiple ‘chapters’ soooooooooo

Legendaryroar: Kinktober 2018 (Multiple ships (Voltron), Explicit (duh), 31 ‘chapters’, 26k)

Favourite Story You Wrote:

I don’t think I ever have a static favourite, I’ve just written too many things, I too quickly move on to the next (and frequently forget some of my own fics exist XD), but recently I re-read In Pursuit of Red Wine (Dreville, Teen, 29k) and really enjoyed that again, and I am really attached to it cos it was my first longish rarepair fic, kind of proving to myself that I can write longer rarepair stuff.

I also recently re-read Unburdened (Merthur (BBC Merlin), Explicit, 2k) and really enjoyed that too, had a total disconnect from having written it since it’s been so long, so I was able to read it without self-judging, and oh boy that was nice.

I’m also quite proud of Healing What’s Left (Parkgrass, Teen, 2k) for some reason, I dunno, maybe the dark political backdrop of the fic, or maybe just cos it’s the first time I’ve written Daphne as the main character and I’m happy with the result and now have some headcanons about her rather than her being an unknown blank character to me.

I also binge read a lot of my Voltron stuff recently and had big feels over that so....I also specifically enjoyed re-reading The Perks of Skincare (Klance (Voltron), Explicit, 3k) again cos I dunno, I like how I wrote Lance XD and also the Sheith fic I linked earlier is a fav for sure. Shiro/Rest is the ultimate OTP.

It really depends how soon after I write something or when I go back to re-read it as to what my fav is at any given time (or people commenting on it and hyping me up for it again).

Story You Were Nervous to Post:

Everything. But most recently I was terrified out of my mind before posting:

Friday Night by the Fire (Harry/Neville, Teen, 583 words) because I have a lot of fears about screwing up trying to write ace characters and somehow not even making that a focal point of the drabble made it even more terrifying, No More Waiting (TianShan (19 Days), Teen, 2k) because it was a new fandom to write in, Harry Potter and the Maudlin Merman series (Drarry, Teen+ Mature, 3k +6k) due to my feelings of inadequacy because it would be better as long fic but I struggle too much with writing these days to write long fics and can only manage short things. I’d rather write this as a long fic, but then I’d never finish it so connected oneshots are the best I can do right now, but I still feel it’s not good enough and have a meltdown whenever I post one. And speaking of which, I’ve been sitting on the next one for months and should probably just fucking post it already.

Actually, most recently: Minding One’s Limits (Cho/Ginny, G rated, 1.5k), because I gave Cho a disability modeled off my fibromyalgia and wrote a scenario similar to something I’d dealt with myself, it was incredibly uncomfortable to write in the first place, and then terrifying to post, even though it’s so short. But in the end I’m proud I finally wrote about it a bit? I dunno, might take me a while to work up the nerve again though XD (also was my first time writing that ship, so there was a lot of nervousness over that too)

Oh, and I was a super ball of anxiety posting Kinktober 2018 (Multiple ships, Explicit, 31 ‘chapters’, 26k) because for almost all of those it was the first time I was writing those kinks (and some were kind of squicks for me but I wanted to see if I could write them anyway cos I’m dumb like that) and in a lot of cases those ships were completely new for me to write too, in addition to trying to write and post 1 a day, so...yeah. Also that was my first time writing tentacle and human/werewolf smut so...yeah. I was an absolute mess that month and not in a fun way. But I’m still really glad I did it, it was fun =D

In summary, I’m always an anxious mess posting anything, but most especially if it’s something I’ve not written before or is personal to me XD

How Do You Choose Your Titles:

Most of the time I’m staring down the empty title field in AO3 cursing like a fucking sailor when I choose titles XD Sometimes it’s a line/theme/feeling from the fic. Sometimes it’s totally random and just comes to me. Sometimes I just grasp the first thing that I can no matter how stupid it sounds cos it’s been three days and I still don’t have a title and I’m over it and ready to post before I lose my nerve.

And tbh, it’s only getting harder to think of titles as my number of fics increases, and I’ve now started thinking of the perfect titles only to realise I already have a published fic by that title so....TITLES CAN DIE A FIERY DEATH

Sometimes, not so much anymore, it would turn out that I would give a wip doc a name just so I’d know what it was, sometimes as a joke with whoever was reading it and cheerleading while I wrote it, and then I would refer to it by that and think of it as that so much that when it came time to actually give the fic a title, it was too late and I could not think past that stupid file name, and that’s how Potter’s Insatiable Cock happened, and how I very nearly called a Merthur fic Arthur’s Wanking Tower (saved that one at the last moment thank god cos the tone of that fic is actually really serious and emotional and wtf was I even thinking with that file name and actually I linked to that fic above XD it ended up being called Unburdened).

Potter’s Insatiable Cock slipped through cos it’s actually relevant to the fic content and I could live with it.

But needless to say, I don’t give my wip docs joke names anymore XD

Do You Outline:

Only if I never want to actually write the idea...once I outline, it’s over. I can’t write to a detailed plan. It stifles me. I’ll always get stuck having to try and think ahead to the plan, and then I lose the flow and nothing works because I’m a pantser/intuitive/instinctive writer not a planner. Sometimes I jot down ideas but in like, the vaguest of ways, usually more focused on emotional development than actual scenes or events or anything because then I won’t be able to write it (and I rarely stick to those vague ideas anyway).

I can really only write when I’m staring down a blank doc with no idea where it’s going and discover it as I go (which is why writing is so fun for me). I can only finish a fic if I don’t think too hard about what’s going to happen next and just let it happen as I write.

This of course means that editing is a fucking bitch when I finish anything, beginnings often get totally re-written, but if I plan, it just doesn't happen at all, so I’ll take the extra editing if it means I manage to write something.

I do have a lot of detailed plotty fic idea outlines...and I mourn them cos I’m never going to write them now, but they’re so goooooooooood XD

Complete:

Online (across all 3 accounts): 381 (incl. my hidden drarry fics as they are technically online just hidden, not incl. individual oneshots/drabbles in collection ‘fics’, of which there are ridiculously many). Offline: 20 (I have the worst habit of just sitting on completed fics and I really need to stop)

In-Progress:

Too many to name, last time I counted it was ~60 but that wasn’t even including my vld wips so...I don’t actually know. I hoard wips and just switch up what I work on all the time depending on mood/interest levels/effort required.

Current main focuses are a 50k+ plotty Drarry (*fingerscrossed* cos this is my first time seriously attempting something long (will probably reach 80k at least) in a very long time and I put it down for a few months and thought that was it but then I picked it up again recently, yay!), and re-writing some hidden fics I can’t put them back up in the quality they’re in, I just can’t guys, they’re awful.

I’ve been thinking a lot about working on the longish 8th year Pansmione fic I started for the wlw big bang before I had to pull out of cos stupid life stuff. I might pick that up again for a bit too, couldn’t be more different from the Drarry one so it’d make a nice focus break =)

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started:

I don’t even plan fics I’m writing, I sure don’t plan ahead to stuff I haven’t even started XD The only think I can think of for this category would be me re-writing my hidden long Drarry fics.

Oh, and there will be a Merthur oneshot coming (hopefully) soon, because @april-thelightfury115 won my custom fic giveaway with a merthur idea. Just waiting for my brain to cooperate so I can start that and not suck XD but I’m so fucking excited to write some Merthur again, you have no idea.

Oh, and lots more Sapphic September drabbles coming too, I’m way behind and only just posted day 11 cos this month is literal hell for me, but I am still planning on finishing the prompt list, no matter how long it takes, but no plan for those, not even which ships, I just sit down with the next prompt and a blank doc and see what happens.

Do You Accept Prompts:

Yes, I love writing to prompts, I’m take them via google form here, but I’m in such a bad space with my health I’ve been really struggling with writing lately, managed to do a bit of editing (fuck knows how), but writing new stuff is so hard, so there’s a long wait while I wait for my fibro fog to ease off to the point I can write new stuff with more regularity (and less stupid errors I have to edit out later).

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write:

Again, I so don’t plan. But I really want to be making more progress on the long plotty drarry wip I’m trying to write. I’m still not sure I’ll have the guts to post it even if I do finish it, given its subject matter (it would make a great careers or consent fest fic tbh), but damn I’m really excited by it. Not sure I can maintain it being plotty and not revert to focusing on the relationship (which is easier for me), but I can only try and see what happens. (trying to write a non-relationship plot without planning is a nightmare but I don’t have a choice if I want to write it at all XD)

I’m also now excited for my longish pansmione wip too actually, just because it’s already longer than my Dreville long-ish fic and it’s exciting and scary to do longer rarepair stuff. I’m way out of my comfort zone with the fic itself, but I dunno, I re-read some recently and fell in love with it all over again, like, flustered lesbian-awakening, disaster for Pansy (but sure she still hates her) Hermione? YES PLEASE! and also, I am guilty of not writing female characters as much as I should because, well, canonically, they don’t have much depth and I’m very meh about them, but in this there’s a huge focus on them because they’re all determined to band together for 8th year and Hermione is making friends with them (Parvati is like, dragging her along all the time XD) where she once dismissed them so it’s scary but exciting =D I’m getting more practice with all the sapphic I do over on knowyourincantations, so I feel more confident working on this wip now =D

I’m also kind of excited about re-writing my old long fics, because they’re all 3 years old now, and my writing tastes (and skill, yikes) have totally changed, so it’s like I’m writing the story again but how I would write it now while maintaining the overall same plot, so it’s really interesting, like discovering the story all over again. Like in one (Making Malfoy Blush) I’ve gone as far as introducing a new side character to replace another’s parts because I no longer feel those parts are in character for them. It’s super terrifying, but it’s fun at the same time =) it’ll take me forever to do these though, so I dunno about ‘upcoming’ really, I only chip away every now and then when I’m unable to write new stuff but am still coherent enough to do something.

Eh, it is what it is, I can’t write like I used to, hence me being inactive more than active these days, but I’m trying to work within my new limitations instead of getting frustrated with them and just giving up entirely =)

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Now, who to tag....I think anyone I would tag has already done it, and if not..I blame the fog if I’m forgetting someone obvious, if you wanna do it just say I tagged you so I can be nosy and take a look =)

Again, please do not reblog this post

#*#tag meme #tag game #about me #hope i don't regret linking to my other ao3 accounts #but i'm at the point if I get more bullshit like before i'll just abandon fandom entirely rather than shift to one of my other accounts #they served that purpose well when I needed it but the reasons for having to do it are not a problem anymore #so i'm tentatively linking to them for anyone who wants to read my other works #and hoping no one is mean about it #and please don't reblog this post in case I have to delete it to cut the link

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sol1056 · 6 years ago

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let’s just leave this here

so let’s see how quickly I can get through a bunch of these, just so they don’t languish for the next month... here we go. behind the cut: why the opening never changed, why DW is deploying Josh again, a few about Iverson & Hedrick, is a reboot possible, staying in fandom vs leaving... and some others in the same vein.

why did they keep the same opening for all of vld seasons, considering the line-up was never supposed to come back to the original from s3?

Every indication is that originally, the team would return to the original lineup. Keeping the opening was probably meant to remind audiences of that inevitability. Or you could believe LM, who said the opening cost 20K to make, and thus was too expensive to do more than once. She’d rather spend that money on a vacation.

So I've heard that Josh Keaton is doing damage control for S8. Do you think Dreamworks sent him in because they know that he's the one guy that no one can get mad at? After what some of the fans have done to him this past year [...] I’m amazed that he's willing to stick around and try to make his fans happy for as long as he can. I can see why people say "We don't deserve him."

Josh has somehow managed that sweet spot between charming the fandom and gaining its trust. Doesn’t hurt that he’s got the chops, voice-wise, to take written dross (no, really, some of those lines are horribly clunky) and spin it into gold. More than anything else, he comes across as genuine, and that adds a certain credibility to his words.

But... Josh doesn’t really have a choice. Playing Shiro is what catapulted Josh upwards, and the last thing he can afford to do is piss off DW by refusing to play ball. He’d only be damaging himself (and his reputation among potential employers) if he didn’t snap to attention when called. Plus, I think he really does sincerely love the character, but it’s got to be a tough spot for him right now.

When you get down to it, the only one on VLD’s (former) staff who seems to believe Shiro belongs in the story and should be respected as part of the story... is Josh. Who else can Shiro’s fans look to, if Josh stops speaking?

So, yeah, Josh is it. And I bet he knows that, and knows it’s just part of signing up for such a major role. This is part of his job.

So I came across a pic of Mitch Iverson from SDCC 2018 where he and Tim Hedrick weren't in the panel ... and [Iverson] was wearing a SHIRO BLACK PALADIN top ... while the EPs & Hamilton were in the panel promoting S7, Iverson supported Hedrick & his story, and Shiro.

Hedrick was actively involved in every script as the story editor, and reportedly conceived of Shiro as an astronaut returning after his capture by aliens. Iverson got his start thanks to Hedrick, thus it makes sense that Iverson would be simpatico with Hedrick’s vision of the story.

On top of that, by SDCC Iverson already had his next gig lined up. He continued to write for VLD, so he had to be subtle... but a t-shirt was a good way to make his sentiments clear. Can’t blame the guy, seeing he probably knew what was coming and chose a quiet protest of his own.

As an American, how would you take it if someone, that is, Iverson, called himself a redneck? From what I know thats derogatory term & for people not exactly inclusive & supportive of minorities. He also retweeted an art of Allura with a quote: ‘Laters’, which I found in really poor taste...

Redneck is another slur adopted by the in-group. My guess is that if you called Iverson a redneck to his face, he’d be offended. But if you introduced yourself as a redneck, and then called him one, it’d be different. And yes, as a term, redneck has a complex history, and it changes subtly in terms of how each generation defines/uses it.

As for retweeting things in poor taste... eh, most people don’t have any training in social media. Jokes are the hardest; it’s so easy for them to go so wrong. Until VLD, I’d bet Iverson was lucky to have a few hundred followers. How many follow him now? It takes time to find your footing in striking the right balance of humor and dignity.

Sometimes the best course is to ignore the stumble. They’ll either learn, or they won’t. Either way, it’s their problem, not ours.

Will Tim Hedrick be allowed to continue the voltron universe the way he planned it?

I doubt it. He’s got a new project. If you’re now an EP finally getting your name at the top, would you really want to go back and fix someone else’s story? Sometimes it’s just better to leave it behind, and make sure the next thing you do is something you can have pride in.

...why do you keep saying the last episode Tim Hedrick wrote was The Feud? A lot of people keep repeating it, like it was his last 'fuck you' to the showrunners. But official sources all say 'The Journey Within' was his last episode.

All we can say for certain was that tJW is the last Hedrick episode broadcast. That doesn’t mean it was the last one written.

Here’s why a lot of us peg tF as Hedrick’s last written episode: the story editor credit. Hedrick's the sole story editor on all his other episodes; tF is the only one in which both Hedrick and Hamilton share credit. The simplest explanation is this episode was edited in that window during which Hedrick had one foot out the door, and Hamilton had one foot in. iow, Hedrick put it into the queue, edited half, and moved on. Ergo, last written.

I can’t believe how they just managed to anger literally everyone no matter your favorite character or ship.

I recall a quote from early on, where LM said they had a feeling they couldn’t please everyone. The problem (which I noted at the time, and has remained true) is that the answer isn’t to just piss off everyone.

It’s to figure out who you want your audience to be, and to write the best damn story you can for that particular audience. If you end up with a story only old-timer DotU fans love, and kids are lukewarm about, fine. If the reverse is true, fine. You can’t please everyone, especially in a reboot/remake. So you pick your battles, and write your story accordingly.

Looking around social media, most people I'm seeing are either rightfully upset, or they're hyperfocusing on the one single scene they liked because they just don't have the energy to deal with the show's bullshit right now. How can they fuck up the last season so badly that it seems like the general reaction is disappointment and denial?

I think there’s a common cause for the fandom reactions: exhaustion.

In American broadcast television, a 26-episode season runs from September to May, then a summertime lull, during which people digest and discuss. Binge-watching is changing this, but it seems one thing hasn’t changed: no matter how fast we watch a show, we still require processing time.

What did we get? A half-season, two months’ break, another half-season, two months’ break, a full season, three months’ break, and a final full season. If every season had provoked a spike equal to S1/S2, we might’ve been begging DW by June to just freaking chill. Fandom had barely begun to process one season and a new one was already landing on our heads.

On top of that, S3-S6 weren’t exactly walks in the part, post-release. In terms of controversy, S7 dwarfed them all. That made an awful lot of people (across the entire spectrum, from almost every sub-group in the fandom) disengage. Those who remained dialed back on their expectations (”as long as X happens, that’s all that matters”), or they hung in there, insistent it would turn out alright.

So either you’re exhausted from not being able to fully disengage with the final season still in the wings, you’re exhausted from convincing yourself this one specific thing would be enough, or you’re exhausted from defending what turned out to be indefensible.

Frankly, disappointment and denial is a fairly soft landing, compared to what might’ve been. But any way you cut it, the fandom’s worn the hell out.

Do you think LM and JDS are gonna address this or are they just going to ignore the complaints, wash their hands and move on?

They don’t need to do anything. They don’t work for DW anymore. If someone has to address the complaints, it’d be DW or DW’s chosen spokesperson. I guess you could call that washing their hands, but the simple fact is they’re not on the payroll. They’re not responsible for VLD anymore.

do you think it's possible for dreamworks to rewrite season 8? i've never heard of a show doing that before and i'm afraid that we'll be stuck with what we got, but damn, i really hope that we will get to see the characters get the endings they deserve, if nothing else.

I’m not sure why anyone would bother. S7 was rife with problems; S3-S6 meandered back and forth. If I were to do a soft in-series reboot, I’d go back to the end of S2. That’s the clearest break, story-wise.

But if you’re going backwards 50+ episodes to the 26th, just keep going and start over. More to the point: not a lot of creators would sign on to inherit problems not of their own making. Same reason new directors on a property will want to rework the script in some way (if not start over from scratch).

Do you think this is truly the end of Voltron: Legendary Defender? I know that a lot of the cast and crew wanted to continue on with a sequel, and there's so many possibilities and things they can do in that universe, not to mention that Voltron is (or rather, was) a money bank...

Your guess is as good as mine, really. Hopefully we’ll get at least hints when the SACanime panel rolls around in early January.

There's a change petition for the "original s8" to be released ... [people] believe that LM and JDS are NOT the ones who ruined the last two seasons and that it was "exec meddling." Like, no, sorry, exec meddling appears to be what made it good in the beginning.

If we consider Yoo an exec by virtue of being CEO of Studio Mir, then I kinda wish he’d meddled a bit more.

...I'm wondering if the original version exists, completed. In one post, you said DW picked Tim over L/J so surely that got animated? What do you think? Be real. I don't want to get my hopes high thinking there's some buried treasure out there to find.

Ah, no, sorry, I wasn’t speaking in the sense of VLD but in the overall corporate sense. Here’s how the scenario often plays out: manager A and employee B do not get along. The longer they clash, the greater the chance A will find an excuse to fire B. The project is literally not big enough for the both of them.

B could resign, quit, or do a preemptive strike: go over A’s head and ask for help. If B leaves the company shortly after, it means the higher-up said: “I’ve heard A’s side, and I think A is right.” The exec might offer a good reference, or blame it on a no-fault bad fit. Doesn’t matter; the exec’s chosen A’s side.

Now, consider what actually happened: B gets transferred off the project, and gets a major promotion -- basically up to the same level as B’s former manager. Either B has some of the most amazing dirt ever, is phenomenally good at twisting reality to seem like the wronged party... or the higher-up reviewed the situation and decided that of the two, B was the one worth keeping.

Having decided that, the exec made an offer B couldn’t refuse, which would be to run a show that’s practically tailor-made to fit B’s dream job. That’s what I meant by losing the battle (how VLD would go) and winning the war (being the party seen as in the right, by the execs).

The only way for A to turn things around is to have a blisteringly successful final product. It could literally kill two careers with one stone: the (former) employee, B, who spun such a good story, and the exec(s) who believed B.

Given the numbers I’m seeing for S8... that exec did choose wisely.

ETA (sorry forgot this part): There might be pieces, but it really depends on what version control is in use (if any). For that matter, even if there were saved copies, who’s to say those didn’t get, whoops, deleted at some point? I’d put my bet on there being nothing, now, except what we got. Sorry.

I could understand if you never want to have anything to do with this show ever again.

Oh, jeez, I was here before VLD and I’ll be here after. Once we all get over our mutual exhaustion (and the holidays, bloody great timing, there), it’ll be time to roll up our sleeves and get to work. Fandom’s got a lot to do, putting things back together in all the shapes that’ll make us happy. This is the best time to be in a fandom, if you ask me. Everything’s just getting started!

#vld #voltron #come for the sugar stay for the salt #wrapping up a bundle of asks #sol thinks about stuff

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mcbigbang · 6 years ago

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2018/19 McHanzo Big Bang Schedule and FAQ

Welcome to the second edition of the McHanzo Big Bang! Please find all the event info (schedule, requirements and FAQ) below and don’t hesitate to send questions if you have any.

September 15h: Sign ups open

October 15th: Writer Sign Ups Close

November 15th: Artist Sign Ups close

November 15th to 20th: First writer check in - summary and 5k draft submissions

November 21st to 23rd: Anonymous story summaries are available for artists to view

November 24th to 30th: Claims and matchups

December 10th to 15th: First partner check in

January 15th to 20th: Second partner check in

February 20th - 25th: Final check in and posting details

April 5th to 15th: Posting

Requirements

Writers

A minimum of 20 000 words total (with 5 000 words written and submitted with the summary for mod review - this draft will not be included in the claims sheet)

A stand alone story that has never been posted before (sequels, prequels or works for existing series are fine, as long as your story is understandable without having to read the rest of your series)

Artists

Two finished pieces of art based on the story (or one finished piece and simpler extras)

FAQ is under the read more.

If you have a question that wasn’t covered in the FAQ, feel free to DM us or send in an ask!

What is a Big Bang? A Big Bang is an event that spans over a couple of months, where writers write a long piece of fiction and partner up with artists who make art for that fic.

How do I participate? To participate, you just have to sign up and then you can immediately start writing your story. Artists have to sign up and then you’re good until claims open. Sign ups open on September 15.

Can I write more than one story? You can sign up and mention you would like to do two stories, but a definite decision on whether writers can write multiple stories or not will be made based on the number of artists that sign up.

Can I sign up as a writer and an artist? Definitely, if you think you can manage it! Just keep in mind that this may be a lot of work for you.

Can I sign up if I already have a partner? Of course! You both need to fill out the sign up form and fill out the necessary info (there is a category for this as well). You won’t go through the claims process, but everything else is the same.

Can I sign up if I’m under 16 years old? To make sure everyone is comfortable and safe, we would prefer if participants under the age of 16 sign up with a partner they’re comfortable with.

Why is the required word count 20k this year? Last year we tried doing 2 tiers of the event and it was mostly just confusing. The average reached word count was 20k words so we decided to go back to a regular Big Bang setting with a single requirement. The event is 7 months long which provides enough time to write, and with the required 5k draft with summary submissions, we believe writers will have an easier time distributing work throughout the event and reach the 20k goal without issue.

But mostly, we changed the word count because a Big Bang is a challenge to write continuously over the span of a couple of months and work with an artist to create something together.

Why do I have to submit 5 000 words with my summary? This rule was added based on last year’s Big Bang. It’s in place to make sure you have something to show your artist as soon as you pair up so that they can get a feel for your story and that they can start working on ideas. There’s two months between start of sign ups and the deadline for this draft, so we’re confident you guys can do it. This way, there is no possibility of artists contacting us days before posting to let us know their partner hasn’t started writing.

Why do artists have to created two pieces this year? We’ve changed this because it seems more fair. The writers have to write at least 20k words, so one drawing per 10k words looks like a more fair distribution of work.

Where and when do I post? You can post on a site of your choosing and then you’re required to send us a form with the info about your story and art so we can make a post for our tumblr archive. The info about this will be posted the closer we get to posting, which will be in March.

The details about posting will be announced at a later time, as we’re going over some changes for this part of the event.

What happens if I have to drop out? That’s okay, it happens and it’s not a problem, just make sure to email or message us to let us know as soon as possible.

Can I post teasers of my work? Unfortunately, you’re not allowed to post snippets or teasers on social media. You should share your work with your partner and the mods for check ins, but other than that it should remain unposted until March. You are of course allowed to share your work with the other participants in the Discord server.

Can other ships be included in the story? You’re more than welcome to add other ships and characters to your story, as long as the story is focused on McCree, Hanzo or their relationship, whatever kind it may be. The type of their relationship, romantic or platonic, is completely up to you. However, please refrain from incestuous relationships or ships where one person is underage.

Can I submit a story I’ve already started? You can submit a story you’ve started writing, as long as you’ve never posted it before. If you already started posting a story, even if it’s only one chapter, then I’m afraid it doesn’t fit the rules and can’t be submitted for the event.

#mcbigbang #mchanzo big bang #mchanzo

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parchmints · 6 years ago

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September Writing Progress ‘18

total words written: 15,376 most words written in a day: 2,821 least words written in a day: 0 Total words written for the year: 208,376

🥀 September Goals 🥀

-Write 10k words –> stretch goal of 20k -Edit down Extrasolar piece -Finish and post you built your tower (but call me home) ch. 1 -Outline Dark Blue ch. 11 -Write and post Dark Blue ch. 11

🥀 Projects Worked On 🥀

-Wrote 15k -Edited and completed @extrasolarzine piece -Finished and posted you build your tower (but call me home) ch. 1 -Outlined Dark Blue Ch. 11 -Started writing Dark Blue Ch. 11 -Finished and posted finally, you and me are the lucky ones ch. 1 for Dani’s birthday!

🕷 October Goals 🕷

-Write 25k words –> stretch goal of 40k -Write every day, even on editing days -Finish and post Dark Blue Ch. 11 -Outline childhood friends klance au (giveaway fic) -Finish and post childhood friends klance au (giveaway fic) -Work on making my patreon

notes: Ayy okay well hit my first word goal and got two fics posted this month so pretty good! I spent a lot of time editing chapter 1 of you build your tower, so it pushed back Dark Blue (that and an impromptu trip to California courtesy of the best friends ever), but Chapter 11 is on it’s way! I’m thinking this chapter is only gonna be 6-8k so I’m hoping to get it out on Oct. 12th and I’m gonna be working furiously on that childhood friends au because it might just have a spooky element to it and I want to get it up before Halloween ;) I’ve been neglecting those two projects for sooo long and I’m excited to finally get to them! After that, I’m pretty much just gonna be alternating between Dark Blue and you build your tower, so those updated should be much more frequent!

#my post #writing progress 18 #vld dark blue #you build your tower #extrasolar #klance #vld #my writing

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adorkablephil · 6 years ago

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Fic: The Roles We Play (4)

Title: The Roles We Play Summary: Dan Howell and Phil Lester work together as voice actors for BBC radio dramas in the late 1930s, but slowly begin to develop “inappropriate” feelings for each other Rating: G Word Count: 3,046 (this chapter) Tags: Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Historical AU, 1930s, BBC, Radio, Actors AU, Slow Burn, Love Letters, Past Character Death, Grief, Angst Author’s Note: This fic was inspired by the @phanfichallenge 20k History Challenge. A bazillion thanks, as always, to my amazing beta, India! See my note on the first chapter regarding historical inaccuracies.

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[ All Chapters Masterlist ]

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18 March 2001

Kathleen should have gone home about an hour ago, but she’d found herself unable to put down the letters emerging from the shoebox. She needed to know more! She wanted to know how it all turned out … and yet she wasn’t willing to cheat by skipping to the letters in the bottom of the box. She wanted to read each in its turn, following the story as it had unfolded in these men’s real lives.

She had also fallen hopelessly in love with Great-Uncle Dan and wished desperately that she’d gotten a chance to know him. If Phil Lester’s letters to him were any indication, Daniel Howell had been an incredibly wonderful person well worth loving.

Picking up her phone, she called her husband to tell him what was happening. He, too, expressed curiosity and urged her to stay as late as she liked. He would give the kids their dinner and even put them to bed if necessary. “No,” Kathleen objected. “I’ll be home before bedtime, I promise. I just want to read a few more letters.”

“Order in some food,” her husband, Stuart, insisted. “Look on their fridge. Even crusty old men probably have takeaway menus on their refrigerator. Have some dinner, read some more letters, and come home when you’re ready. You can always go back tomorrow to read more. Or bring the box with you.”

Kathleen shook her head, even though she knew Stuart couldn’t see her. “It would feel wrong to take the shoebox out of the house,” she explained. “I can’t explain it, but I don’t even want to move it off the table. My great-uncle had it open here—left it here perhaps the night before he died in his bed—and it seems disrespectful to move something so precious to him away from where he left it.”

“Well,” Stuart replied slowly, “you will eventually have to sell the house. And probably the table, as well.”

Kathleen laughed. “I know. I don’t need to leave it here forever … just … maybe until I’ve finished reading all the letters. Then I can pack them up and take them home. Save them somewhere special.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Stuart agreed gently. He was a good man. “Just make sure to eat something and don’t stay too late. Remember, you can go back tomorrow.”

“Yes, sweetheart. I’ll see you in perhaps two hours.” They said their goodbyes, and Kathleen wandered into the house’s tidy kitchen. All of the cabinet doors were slightly ajar for some reason, so she shut them. Such things disturbed her sense of order, and she wondered why her Great-Uncle Dan would have left the doors open like that. Did he honestly not notice or care? Or had it been some odd personal choice she could not understand? Did he have some reason for preferring them that way?

As Stuart had predicted, there were indeed a number of takeaway menus on the refrigerator. The one on top was for Domino’s Pizza, so Kathleen decided to order from them in honor of this house’s former occupants and their apparent culinary preferences. She phoned and was asked if she would like the usual order for that address, with all the dips. “Er … no,” she replied, and then ordered herself a simple, small pepperoni pizza. She also helped herself to some Ribena from the kitchen, where she found an entire drawer full of bottles of the stuff. It helped her feel more connected to them, as if she were somehow drinking their favorite drink with them. She raised her glass in a toast to Daniel Howell and Philip Lester, still uncertain whether Philip had been her great-uncle’s “housemate” or if Dan had found some other love later in life. She very much hoped that this had been Dan and Philip’s home together.

Waiting for the food to be delivered, sipping her glass of Ribena, she returned to the kitchen table and eagerly picked up the next letter.

4 August 1939

My most beloved Daniel,

In my lonely house at night, I think only of you. I re-read your letters and hold them to my heart. I think of the sweet words you have written and wish that I could hear them spoken by your lips.

I fear I am utterly besotted. Will you laugh at me? I think not, for I believe you share the intensity of my feelings, but I sometimes feel so alone, isolated in my inability to speak to you on these topics directly. Every time your eyes meet mine, I feel as if I have missed a step on a flight of stairs, as if I am suddenly falling. And, as when falling, I am not entirely without fear, but I like to imagine my fall ending with me landing in your arms.

Fancifully yours, Philip

There were many such papers: some proper love letters and others simple short notes. Kathleen’s pizza arrived, and she began eating absentmindedly, her attention still primarily on the letters from the shoebox. She held them far away from the pizza, however, lest pizza grease stain anything. She would rather risk pizza sauce falling on her own clothing than besmirch her great-uncle’s love letters.

18 September 1939

My Beloved Daniel,

Today during the radio broadcast, you touched my hand by chance, and I found myself momentarily unable to speak. You may perhaps be a negative influence upon my career, and yet I want only to feel the touch of your hand again and again. I want to hold your hand in mine and press a gentle kiss to your palm.

With these thoughts in mind, I will seek sleep tonight in my lonely bed and mail this upon the morrow so that I may hope to inspire dreams of you as long as the letter remains in my possession. In truth, I dream of you most nights, and expect tonight will be no different. I hope you also dream of me.

Yours always and forever, Philip

The doorbell rang again, surprising Kathleen. She looked at her watch to see that it was now early evening, and she should really leave this work behind and return to her family soon. She wondered who might be at the door, and so went to answer it. An older lady with bright red hair showing gray at the roots smiled in a very friendly fashion from the doorstep. “You must belong to one of my boys,” the woman said unexpectedly.

“One of your boys?” Kathleen repeated in confusion.

“Oh, my, yes. My Danny and Philly. Much older than me, of course, but still my boys. I’m Bernice, their neighbor these past … oh … more than twenty years. Nearly thirty, now, in fact.” The woman shook her head sadly, then reached out to take Kathleen’s hand and pat it gently between her own. “You must feel their loss even more keenly than I do.” And then somehow the woman was coming into the house, though Kathleen could not remember having invited her by word or by gesture. Bernice boldly went into the kitchen and made herself a glass of Ribena, then commented softly, “Oh. Someone closed the cabinets. Was that you?”

Kathleen nodded. “I don’t know why they were all open; perhaps a flaw in the construction? But seeing them all open like that bothered me, so I closed them. Why do you ask?”

Bernice smiled sadly. “It always bothered Dan, too. Phil was always leaving the cabinets open, and Dan always chided him about it. They bickered like the old married couple they were, you know.” Kathleen was happy to hear her hopes realized: It was Phil Lester with whom her great-uncle had gotten to spend his elder years. But the odd woman had continued speaking, her voice quiet and reverential. “After his dear Philip died, though, I came every day to visit poor Daniel to make sure that he was eating properly. He grieved so deeply, you know. I noticed the open cabinets and asked him about it, and do you know what that sweet boy said? He told me, ‘If the cabinet doors are open, then I feel like Phil might still be in the house, so I daren’t close them or face the fact that he is truly gone.’ Of course, he himself was gone not long after. Couldn’t live without his love, I think. They were the closest two people I’ve ever known, those two.”

Feeling a sudden upwelling of affection for this woman who had apparently cared deeply for the two men Kathleen had only begun to know through the letters, she smiled and said, “I’m Kathleen Banks, Daniel Howell’s great-niece. I didn’t know him well, and I didn’t know Philip Lester at all, so I would love to hear stories about them. I do wish I’d had the chance to know them before they died.”

Bernice looked Kathleen up and down and replied tartly, “Looks to me like you had at least forty years of opportunity, missy. It’s a mite late to be regretting now.”

Kathleen blushed, feeling as if she needed to explain herself to a woman she’d never even met before 10 minutes ago. “Great-Uncle Dan was estranged from the family my entire life, and I didn’t even know that Philip Lester existed until I began reading his letters today. My family told me that Great-Uncle Dan lived with another Army pensioner to help pay the rent, but that was obviously a lie. Given the way my family seems to have treated him, I don’t know if he would even have been open to knowing me.”

Bernice put her hands on her sizeable hips and shook her head in disbelief. “Well, of course he would have, child! It was only his own family that wouldn’t have him! Or, at least, that’s what dear Philly told me over tea one time when Dan was away. His mother’s funeral, I think it was, and Phil said it was one of the few times the family would even let him near. But of course Phil could not go with him. Danny never talked about his family, but I know Phil hurt for him.”

Kathleen frowned deeply. “I didn’t know,” she told Bernice. “No one ever talked about him, and I guess I was just busy with my own life, and I never thought…”

“Yes, yes,” Bernice interrupted her brusquely. “None of you ever thought of him. But that boy still had a family that loved him.”

Kathleen wanted to ask what family Bernice was referring to, but Bernice had walked up to a photo on the wall and smiled broadly at it. “Oh, those dogs. They loved those dogs. They’ve been gone 10 years or so now, but sweet Danny and Philly kept their photo on the wall.” Kathleen went to look and saw a photograph of two very happy-looking corgis with tongues lolling in doggy smiles at the camera. “The boys walked those dogs twice a day, every day, and it was often the only time they left the house. They liked their own company, you know—didn’t go out much. If I hadn’t stopped by so often to bring them proper food, they would have had pizza delivered every night.”

Kathleen glanced guiltily at the kitchen table, where her pizza still sat a safe distance from Dan’s pile of keepsakes.

“Oh,” Bernice breathed, having followed Kathleen’s glance toward the table. “Dan’s box of memories. He went through that every day near the end. I can only imagine the things he loved deeply enough to save all those years and bring out constantly during those final days.” She sighed, sniffed, and quickly wiped a hand across one of her eyes. She cleared her throat and added, “Well, I suppose it’s only fair that someone from his family be permitted to read the things he held most dear, though the whole lot should most likely be given to those what loved him when you’re finished.” Bernice gave her a steely-eyed glance.

“I think I’ve been coming to love him by seeing him through Phil’s eyes,” Kathleen admitted. “I wish so very much that I hadn’t lost a chance I never even knew I had. He seems like a really lovely person.”

Bernice laughed. “Oh, he was a crotchety old goat much of the time, unlike his sweet Philly, but that Dan had a heart of gold under all that bluster. I do wish you had gotten to know him, as you seem like you might be one of his few relations that might have brought him joy.” Bernice paused. “As long as you loved Phil equally, of course. There was no Dan without Phil, no Phil without Dan. They were a matched pair, and you wouldn’t have gotten a second glance from your great-uncle if you didn’t accept that Phil meant the world to him.”

Kathleen felt tears sting her eyes. “I think that may be why he became so estranged from the family. I think there may have been family members who couldn’t accept their relationship. That’s my guess, anyway. But I can promise you this: If I had ever gotten to meet the Phil Lester who wrote those letters, I would have hugged him even more tightly than my own Great-Uncle Dan. I feel as if prejudice within my own family stole them both from my life, never giving me the opportunity to know them.”

“Oh, pooh!” said Bernice with a dismissive hand gesture. “They wouldn’t have wanted much company anyway! They liked to be on their own, in their own little world, just the two of them.” She seemed to see something in Kathleen’s face and added, “But if you ever want to hear stories about them, get to know them a bit after the fact, you come visit me any time you like. I live just next door at number 18.” Bernice went to wash out her Ribena glass and left it upside down in the dish drainer. “I should be getting home now. I just wanted to see who was over here, since I saw the light on and got curious.” She stepped close and shocked Kathleen by kissing her lightly on the cheek. “You seem a sweet girl. Come see me anytime you’d like to hear about your uncles, because I loved those boys dearly and will never tire telling stories about them.” She smiled sadly again, gave Kathleen another quick kiss on the cheek, and then opened the door and left without another word.

Stunned, Kathleen sat down again at the table. The congealed pizza no longer looked remotely appetizing, and she hated seeing it so close to those delicate and precious documents her great-uncle had saved so carefully. She put the remaining pizza in the refrigerator, knowing that she would be returning tomorrow and might be willing to snack on it then.

Just a couple more letters, she told herself. Maybe two more, then she would head home. There was still plenty of time before the kids needed to go to bed, and Kathleen didn’t want to leave quite yet, not after that emotional conversation with the neighbor.

31 December 1939

My love,

I was, of course, distraught to see you leave so soon after that most precious moment, but I know that you must spend part of the festive season with your own family. I cannot have your attention every moment of every day, no matter how much I may desire it. Please know that you are in my heart and in my thoughts always.

As I write this, I know that I shall see you this evening for our New Year’s Eve broadcast. I will see your lovely brown eyes turn to me and I will know the emotions and the memories behind that glance. We may shake hands or I may rest a hand upon your shoulder, but those small touches contain a multitude of emotions.

We start the new year by turning a beautiful new page. We may find ourselves not in a position to express our feelings as openly as we might like, but we two know the truth and share its inestimable beauty.

Yours most devotedly, Phil

Kathleen couldn’t help wondering about “that most precious moment,” and quickly picked up the next envelope, only to find that it did not contain a letter. Or, rather, it contained a form letter with relevant details stamped in ink.

NATIONAL SERVICE (ARMED FORCES) ACT, 1939 ENLISTMENT NOTICE Date: 15 JANUARY 1940 Mr. DANIEL JAMES HOWELL

DEAR SIR,

In accordance with the National Service (Armed Forces) Act, 1939, you are called upon for service in the ARMY and are required to present yourself on MONDAY 29 JAN 1940, at 10 a.m., or as early as possible thereafter on that day to:

RINGSTEAD BARRACKS MILL HILL RINGSTEAD DORSET NW7

A Travelling Warrant for your journey is enclosed. Before starting your journey you must exchange the warrant for a ticket at the booking office named on the warrant. If possible, this should be done a day or two before you are due to travel.

A Postal Order for 4s, in respect of advance of service pay, is also enclosed. Uniform and personal kit will be issued to you after joining H.M. Forces. Any kit that you take with you should not exceed an overcoat, change of clothes, stout pair of boots, and personal kit, such as razor, hair brush, tooth brush, soap and towel.

Immediately on receipt of this notice, you should inform your employer of the date upon which you are required to report for service.

Yours faithfully, James Alistair Davies Manager.

Kathleen found herself almost physically ill at the phrasing of the closing of the letter. “Yours faithfully”? Among all these letters from the truly faithful Phil Lester, a bureaucratic form from the British Army sending Daniel Howell off to World War II with a “Yours faithfully” made Kathleen nearly lose the pizza she’d eaten earlier.

She decided this was an excellent time to go home to the warm arms of her loving husband, who wouldn’t mind if she cried a little bit over events of decades past.

******

[ Continue to Chapter 5 ]

#phanfiction #phanfic #historical phanfiction #historical phanfic #phanfiction historical #phanfic historical #phanfiction au #au phanfiction #phanfic au #au phanfic #historical au #1930s phan #the roles we play #myphanfic

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mad-madam-m · 6 years ago

Text

Tagged by @andavs.

last sentence tag

Hunk let out a loud sniffle. "I gotta go bake something."

AO3 tag game

WHAT IS YOUR TOTAL WORD COUNT ON AO3?

784,166. Holy fuck, I’m gonna break 800k by the end of the year. (Hell, possibly by the end of September--I’ve probably got close to 20k in fics waiting to be edited.)

HOW OFTEN DO YOU WRITE?

I try to write at least a little bit every day, but that’s not been happening quite as much lately.

DO YOU HAVE A ROUTINE FOR WRITING?

Not really, which I should probably fix, because well into decade #4 of my life, you’d think I would realize I do better with routines. XD

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE KINKS/TROPES/PAIRING?

Kinks - Kink negotiation, aftercare, lingerie, healthy relationships.

Trope - There are...probably too many to list. I love tropes. LOVE them. I roll around in them like they’re piles of autumn leaves and probably fit more of them than is healthy into any one fic. At least one major reason I love Tiger & Bunny is because it gave me a canonical single dad, and I fucking LOVE the single dad trope.

Pairing - Sheith, Sterek, Barnaby/Kotetsu

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE FIC OF YOURS?

I have over 300 fics on AO3 and that number is climbing because I have absolutely zero sense of self-control, and the answer is “all of them.” But here are a few for some of my different ships that I really like:

Yes, Sir - Sheith

A Thousand Moments - Barnaby/Kotetsu

A Wild Heart’s Desire - Sterek

Pink - Parker/Eliot/Hardison

The Great Wakandan Prank War - Sam/Bucky

YOUR FIC WITH THE MOST KUDOS?

A Desperate Arrangement

ANYTHING YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING?

It changes depending on what I’m having trouble with. XD I feel like I still struggle with description and emotion, especially on the first pass, and I think it takes me awhile to feel like I’ve really got a character’s voice “right.”

NOW SOMETHING YOU DO LIKE (ABOUT YOUR WRITING)?

I think I do pretty well with action scenes and humor.

ship tag game…

First ship you ever read fic for: Sterek.

First ship you ever wrote fic for: Sterek.

Ship you write the most now: It’s fairly evenly split between Sterek, Sheith, and Barnaby/Kotetsu, although that last one is quickly climbing the ranks.

Ship you read the most now: Oh God. I honestly haven’t read much in months. XD Probably a toss-up between Sterek and Sheith.

Newest ship: Barnaby/Kotetsu.

Rare ship you want to read more of: Allison/Erica, Sheriff/Melissa, M’Baku/T’Challa.

Your taboo ship: I’m personally very “ship and let ship,” so I don’t think any ship’s really taboo. Just tag for it so people who don’t like it can avoid it.

They never met in canon ship: I don’t really have one where they straight-up didn’t meet in canon, especially not one I actually read/write.

Your unexpected ship: I did not go into Tiger & Bunny thinking I would find a new fandom and a new ship that would shoot up to being my 3rd most written within 6 months but WELP here we are.

Also, Sam/Bucky. Like. Who knew CA: Civil War would have me going “Okay I need about 10000% more of Sam and Bucky giving each other no end of shit and then turning right around to protect each other.”

The ship you always forget to give love to: I don’t know if I really forget to give love to it, but I feel like I should be giving Boyd/Erica more love because they deserve ALL the love. They deserved SO MUCH better than what they got in canon, and I feel like they would’ve been that really annoying high school sweetheart couple that got together their junior year, got married before they finished college, and then they have 2.5 kids and they’re celebrating their 15-year anniversary and all their posts on social media are 1) dragging each other or 2) talking about how much they love each other. They would be THAT couple, you know? And I love them.

Ship your OC with a canon character (if applicable): All my OCs are happily in their own relationships. XD (Or, you know. Will be. Eventually.)

A ship you’re embarrassed to ship: I’m over 30; I have no shame.

Your most romantic ship: Shiro/Keith, easily. I mean. My God. I’ve written love confessions less romantic than the actual canon lines they speak to each other. (“How many times are you going to save me before this is all over?”/“As many times as it takes.”)

Your sexiest ship: All of them. I mean. Let’s be real. They alllll can get it.

Your most tragic ship: Sterek, because at least the others are in shows that don’t keep them apart for 3 seasons for “no homo” reasons.

A ship you want more content for: Any ship that has less than 3k fics on AO3. XD

I tag: @cobrilee, @kalira9, @doctortay, @paintedrecs, @tryslora, @alocalband, @thepsychicclam, @literaryoblivion, and anybody else who wants to do it; I don’t even remember how many people I’m supposed to tag for this. XD

#meme me up Scotty #ship meme #writing meme #about M

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