#I think I’m talking too much tho. So I’ll stop. For now. Hit post.
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fever-project · 7 months ago
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Ravioli Ship Week Day 1 - Love/Favorite AU. What encapsulates love more than listening intently to the person you love most ramble on and on about something you don’t understand at all?
I also decided to draw my own Ravio and Link for this, because my favorite au is my own :) I know no shame :) the only regrets I have is that I couldn’t make more drawings of them(I only finished two drawings for this week :().
EDIT: Not canon. Link doesn’t actually have romantic feelings for Ravio, he just thinks he does. He will still listen to Ravio ramble on, because he does care for Ravio.
Anyways, Ravio’s rambling about different kinds of magic tricks, because he’s a magician(and also a regular mage but he likes magic tricks) and Link is a victorian era acrobat! He’s also not a hylian but Ravi doesn’t know that lol. Gosh I want to talk about this au so bad augh. My little guys \\\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//// I love them so much pls ask me about them and even if no one does I will talk about them because I have problems lol
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annafragiile · 2 years ago
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hi there
idk if anyone will see my posts but it doesn’t matter I think.
I’ll be using this like a diary of some sorts? I used to write this stuff into my physical notebook and then later into my notes on my phone but I thought I’ll give this a try, cause I didn’t do the other two methods consistent enough.
I think I should introduce myself; I’m 23 and been pr0-a for 10 years now, but with many interruptions.
~~~
Consistency and finishing my tasks are something I’ve struggled with my whole life. I’ll start something, get super excited over it, but then drop it after some time if I don’t see any pleasing results.
It all started when I tried to get down to my dream weight, but didn’t work hard enough for it and just gave up. But it’s not like all those thoughts stopped, I still felt bad after eating too much and was scared of standing on a scale.
When I think back, the only time I’ve been really happy and didn’t think about my weight was when I actually managed to achieve my dream weight without realising it. Because of drüg abüse I lost a lot of weight and had my dream body. Tho I stopped doing drügs after I realised how damaging they were to my body, I still maintained my weight. I think I only gained 1 or 2 k g which is amazing considering that I ate a lot.
I was really happy then, I wore a lot of skin tight clothes and didn’t worry about it looking unflattering on me, it was perfect..
My first real down came when Covid hit, I had a depression relapse and the thing I realised about myself is, the worse my mental health is, the more I eat. I ate so much, i didn’t even know what feeling hungry was like. Waking up I was still full from the food I ate the night before, it was not healthy at all. Of course I started gaining weight after a while, so I decided to go to the doctor. I got anti-depressants prescribed and I used them for a little bit over a year, they helped and I managed to lose a bit of weight again.
My second down was recently. I stopped taking my meds one year ago cause I was feeling fine and also didn’t like the way they made me feel, made my body react to caffeine and controlled my sleeping schedule. I was fine at first, but without realising it my mental health got gradually worse again. I started eating more and suddenly I didn’t fit into my jeans anymore. My face started looking chubby without me realising it. I finally had the courage to stand on a scale and it was devastating. It’s never been this high before. I felt like shit. I immediately went on an oat meal diet and managed to go down 4k g.
I’m still far away from my dream weight, I’m still really uncomfortable, even if I managed to do a little damage control. It’s not enough. I need to be more persistent, I know I can do this.
~~~
I’ll be posting my daily calorie intake and also my weight.
If you read my post all the way down feel free to reach out. I have no one to talk to about this, have always kept it to myself but maybe it’ll help if I have someone to talk to, we could push each other to achieve our goals .. <3
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variousandnefarious · 13 days ago
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yipppeee!!!
im thinking of him so much, i rarely have crushes which is why when i do, they hit me like a truck. And im so rarely physically attracted to someone. he just checks all of my boxes, and i am so desperate for touch. I know it’s not the best decision, to go for someone 15 yrs older but i really can’t stop myself. I think he likes me too, i think he’s flirting back. I seriously day dreamt of him all day today, which is so weird for me. basically I’ll be posting mostly about this methinks, so if you don’t have my personal tag blocked well that’s just on you, this is a vent blog number one and it’s a safe space for me to be able to dump all my thoughts, things that I can’t talk to anybody else about. I think I’ll try to make a move on him Sunday, I’m so fucking shy tho. my downfall when it comes to yearning is my shyness and my nervousness, my stomach is in knots just thinking about touching him so of course doing the actual thing is gonna be terrifying but I want it so bad. Plus it’s at his house (how hot is it that he owns a fucking house like Jesus Christ) and I’ll get to meet his cat and I’m just AH!!! last night is replaying in my mind over and over again, his eyes on me as I licked my ice cream cone, him handing me a napkin because he saw me wiping the corner of my mouth with my finger, him asking with concern if I was cold because I was shaking - and understanding that I’m just a shaky person. Him him him I think about, the jokes and the innuendos and god it’s the father issues but fuuuck I’ve always loved older men and I’m over the moon that I might actually have a chance to have something with him - that’s it for now. I just needed to get this stuff out of my head because he’s been all I’ve thought about today (oh and I texted him like thrice and thought “I’m annoying I need to stop” and then the fourth time he’s the one who texted first!!! Oh we’ve been texting all day and I’m so so so happy!!) okay that’s all for real
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a-rainey-day · 2 years ago
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🌙 My hc for the moon boys! ⭐️
A/N: first time writing Hc’s :) most of the ones with an S/O are going to have they/them pronouns bc I rarely see gn!Reader stuff
A/N 2: since this post got so much love I’m gonna try and write more on here! I’ll probably do Layla next :)
A/N 3: Just a lil update I have this plastered all over my page but I also take requests! :)
Warnings: None! All fluff :) (probably some bad grammar tho)
Order: Non romance/general hc, romance & S/O hc w/Steven, romance & S/O hc W/Marc, and romance & S/O hc with Jake
Starting with some non romantic hc
So we all know how dr strange can push people out of their bodies right? Well we see in ep 5 each alter has their own soul
So like Marc is fighting with dr.strange and gets punched out, then Steven takes the front and is like “sorry mate” but before he can hit strange he gets punched out too
At this point marc is half pouting/half laughing
Jake takes the front and decks strange but gets punched out, now he’s laughing as the body goes down
Strange is like “we good? No one else? You aren’t faking it?”
But marc is back in the body and he IS faking it, he springs up and decks strange
At this point it’s a revolving door and marc, Steven, and Jake are all laughing abt it
When the moon boys do meet thor/Loki Khonshu is like staying away from them bc Loki tried to stab him and Thor bit him when they were kids
Once Marc and Steven are done with Khonshu they just call him “murder bird”
Marc convinces Steven to get rid of the sand by the bed
Steven keeps the ankle restraint tho
When Marc is mad at Steven and vice versa he throws a sheet over/covers every mirror until he’s calmed down a bit
The moon knight system is autistic, you can pry that from my cold dead hands
Steven has a bunch of fidget toys
Jake bit people when they were kids
Marc still has his childhood teddy bear/comfort object somewhere
Marc was a leash kid but it was mostly cause Jake bit people
I don’t think Steven cried a lot as a kid but was very emotional when he first started fronting for long periods of time
I think Steven struggles with processing big emotions tbh
He’s not like emotionally immature or anything but like he gets emotionally overwhelmed easily
Marc just struggles with saying how he feels. I feel like he can process his emotions but he doesn’t know what to do with them
Jake just struggles with emotions in general, like he’s v reactionary when it comes to them
Jake I feel over thinks the least out of the moon knight system, he just does
Marc overthinks the most tho, like he spirals when he overthinks
Steven tries not to overthink things but sometimes does but can stop himself before it gets too bad
Steven I think is a cat person, Marc likes both cats and dogs, and Jake is a dog person
I feel like Jake specifically like big dogs like golden retrievers and labs
Steven likes black cats with fun names specifically
Romance hc with Steven!
Steven can’t cook, he wants to but he just can’t for the life of him
Poor guy most he can make is like scrambled eggs or cup ramen
I think the autism is clearest with Steven cause we see him talk to Gus and flap his hands and such
So we all know stevens dislike of the taweret plushies at the museum but I feel like if his S/O likes plushies he’d get them for them
like say he’s out like at target or smthn and sees a stuffed animal/brand you mentioned you liked and he’d just get it without thinking
He has a note on his phone full of things his S/O likes and all their clothing sizes and favorite brands
I also think he loves to leave lil notes for his s/o to find around the flat
Another thing!! If you like to game steven loves to watch! Like he’ll sit next to you and just watch you play
I also feel like once you come into his life he’ll probably start trying to keep the flat cleaner and I also feel like he buys a blanket for the couch in case you ever get cold
He also loves to listen to you talk about your interests like could sit there for hours and just listen to you talk
He just loves you sm, he buys you jewelry specifically I think
He loves to see it sparkle and loves how well it goes with your outfits
He gets such big heart eyes when he sees you in his sweaters
I feel like one of the first gifts Steven gets you if you like to game is like a minecraft bee plush
Steven calls you things like “my love” or “lovie” or even “lovely”
Up next is Marc!
I feel like Marc can cook the best out of everyone in the system
It took a while to warm up to you especially if you met Steven first
Cause Steven is all he’s had since he was a kid (not counting Layla)
Eventually he warms up to you.
I feel like if you left Marc like notes he’d draw something on them or keep them but he’d never tell you
Once Marc adjusts to you he loves to cook for you
Lots of quiet nights cuddling on the couch with Marc
I feel like Marc’s love language is words of affirmation and quality time
He needs to be assured you love him
I also feel like a breakfast date with marc would be him taking you out to get doughnuts and coffee
he loves to go on little adventures with you, target, the gas station, late night drug store run, he wants to come with you and make sure you’re okay
He has a note on his phone full of date ideas for you guys
I feel like with your help he’d probably seek therapy, but you’d probably have to be in the room with him for at least the first session
He loves to hold your hand. He doesn’t realize he’s doing it half the time
Marc calls you things like “honey” or “flower” and sometimes “dear”/“dearest”
And finally Jake!
He’d probably be the last to warm up to you
Not because he doesn’t like you but because he’s the one who protects Marc and Steven and he has to be sure you’re a safe person for them
The first time he fronts around you he’s mostly silent just watching you.
Once he realizes you don’t want to hurt Marc or Steven he’s mostly in the background
It takes him the longest to realize he has feelings for you
Doesn’t want to accept it at first cause he’s stubborn but eventually gives in and tells you
I feel like a breakfast date with Jake would include making chocolate chip pancakes while he holds you from behind
his cabbie cap is stored on a squishmallow by the door (I specifically picture Abe the bearded dragon)
Happened bc you put it there as a joke and he just went along with it bc he didn’t wanna make you upset
If you give him a stuffed animal (think like the squeezemallows) it’s either going in the passenger seat in the limo or on his dash in the passenger side
He loves to get you gifts, like flowers or anything that makes him think of you he’ll probably get for you
The most physical of all the moon boys, he loves to be holding you close
Always holding you or has his hand on you
If you’re like walking with him he has his arm around your waist
If you don’t like physical touch though he’ll usually just hold your hand if you’re okay with that
Probably the best with kids tbh. Like if you have little siblings or little cousins he loves to see them
I think it’s cause kids (most of the time) are easy to understand
Calls you things like “mi amor” (my love) or “Mi osito” (my little bear/teddy bear) and “mi vida” (my life) pls forgive me if any of my translations are off/correct me in the comments :))
Overall I think the moon boys all treasure you and love you no matter what and will do their best to love you and try to heal from their past so they can have a future with you
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heniareth · 3 years ago
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I was really curious about what your opinions on the DAO companions are :) I know we have talked about some, but I'd love to hear more and about the others as well :D I hope it's ok to pose this as an ask :)
Sure! That sounds like a ton of fun. This might be a long one tho. Mind you, this is not the finished version of the answer. I'd like to link stuff and add a cut, but rn that's not possible. I'll update it when I can.
Edit: I have updated it ^^
Let's go alphabetically bc why not.
Alistair:
Sweet guy. So sweet. There was a moment when I was hard pressed chosing between him and Zevran (alas, Zevran won). Also, he's weirdly tall according to the wiki? How did I not notice that before?
Let's get a bit more serious now, Alistair is a great guy. The only reason he's not the hero of the story is because he doesn't want to. He has all the qualities of a leader: he's good at dealing with conflict (as evident with the conversation with the mage at the beginning. He gets where he wants to get without antagonizing the mage, but without allowing him to trample all over him). He's a solid tactitian and knows how to make allies (he suggests to use the Grey Warden treaties, after all). I bet if he was in the leadership position, he'd even not bicker with Morrigan. His moral code is pretty tight; some might say too tight, but I think it's less about the moral code and more about learning to judge people by their actions, not by the labels they fit into (Morrigan is a proud apostate and therefore bad. Wynne is a humble circle mage and therefore good). He also has a bit of a black-and-white way of seeing the world. I empathize a lot with Alistair, especially with his experience with the Chantry and his subsequent reluctance to deal with it. I really wish I had gotten to know more about concrete experiences he had during his training as templar, but he seems reluctant to talk about it (gee, I wonder why).
Since I've only played the game once, I haven't really picked up on Arl Eamon's abuse towards him, which apparently exists (Isolde, however... I mean, even if he were Eamon's illegitimate son, he's a kid, ma'am, he didn't exactly get to chose his parents. So that's so not okay). Alistair's way of speaking about them both, however, is either sign that he has not come within a hundred miles of acknowledging how much it hurt him, or that he's already gone through the whole process and has decided to forgive them. The latter shows a very strong character; yes, he relies on the approval and leadership of others, he has his issues, but he's already started working on them.
That being said, irl Alistair would be like a little brother to me. I'd tease him relentlessly (all in good fun and I promise to stop if it makes him uncomfortable, but he's just so teasable). I still wish the videogame gave him the chance to take important decisions for himself. But that, of course, would somewhat defeat the point of the game.
Leliana:
Another sweet, sweet person. Her singing voice is amazing. Her belief in the Maker inspires me (I'm a religious person and seeing religious characters represented in a positive light is Very Cool. It's also sometimes a source of discomfort, because the Church has done a lot of very messed up stuff and positive representation can sometimes veer into apologetics for things that should not be excused, but that's a whole other can of worms. The bottom line is that religious characters sometimes work for me and other times don't and Leliana works for me very much bc she's an outsider inside the Chantry).
Leliana is best friend material, tbh. I'd love to get to know her irl, discuss theology and philosophy and maybe even politics? She makes mistakes and has prejudices, but, tbh, so do I. And I do get the feeling that she tries her best to learn. From the times she intervenes in a conversation between the Warden and an NPC, she shows herself to be compassionate and open to the needs of others. What I get from her character is that she genuinely wants to help, which is something that I adore of her. I suspect that she sometimes has a hard time deciding wether she's a good person or not. She has killed and seduced and worked for a morally dubious person, and she doesn't show the same nonchalance about it as Zevran (though they both do discuss their line of work in very... professional terms). This is, however, more of a headcanon than actual factual canon.
I also very much enjoy her girly side, like her interest in shoes and dresses. She's one badass woman who also looses her cool about the latest fashions in Val Royeaux. I like that. Between her and Alistair, a non human noble Warden has as good a help to navigate the Fereldan court as they're going to get. Leliana is also, I can't forget that, clever and insightful. It'd be easy to write her off as the innocent chantry girl, but she's so much more than that. Her kindness is paired with foresight, I think. She knows that taking on the trouble to help now can go a long way in the future. I just have a lot of respect for her.
Loghain:
This one's gonna be short bc I didn't recruit him. He's an amazing villain and would probably be a great Warden as well. He reminds me of Denerhor from LOTR; once a hero/stewart of his people, ambition and desperation have driven them both down a terrible path. I have also only little idea about his past. People say he lost a lot, and I believe it wholeheartedly; it doesn't excuse the fact that he plunged the country into a civil war in the middle of a Blight. I don't have a lot of sympathy for short-sighted politicians. I wish he hadn't made himself regent. That's what I take away from his character.
Edit: One thing I forgot to mention that really impressed me was his death. I had Alistair duel him (that was a rough duel), and then it kinda just jumped to a cutscene of my Warden nodding and Alistair executing him. That didn't sit well with me. I didn't want to kill Loghain, and less so in front of Anora. But what impressed me was that Loghain just accepted it. That takes a whole lot of guts. Compare that to Howe's death, and how he screams out that he deserved (more, probably, or anything but death) and it's crystal clear who the more noble of the two is. Loghain strikes me as very lawful neutral, and any neutral alignment has the particularity that it can be dragged towards good or bad, sometimes without the characters noticing it (which is interesting from a DnD perspective; neutral is often concieved of as just as stable as good or evil, but that may not be true. But that's a different post). Anyway, Loghain's death was impactful.
Morrigan:
I could kick myself for not maxing out her approval in the first play-through. I got to enjoy a bit of her friendship by the end of it and boy was even that little bit worth it. Friendship with Morrigan is something that is hard-won. It's all the more precious because of that.
Morrigan is full of paradoxes, I think. She's incredibly wise in some ways, yet also very short-sighted (”just kill them, don't solve their problems”. Morrigan, dear, I'm not going to gain a lot of allies if I kill everybody who poses a problem to me). She is so intelligent, but emotionally... not so. She knows so much about some things, and very little about the next. She's incredibly wilful and knows what she wants, but follows Flemeth's orders all the time through. She hungers for power and independence, yet craves closeness, but won't allow herself to have it. She asks you to prove yourself to her and is extremely critical of your actions, I think, because she's afraid. She bites the hand that feeds her because it might hit her next.
Like with Eamon, I haven't managed to catch the undercurrent of abuse that seems to permeate Flemeth's relationship with Morrigan. Except there are signs, because there must be something Morrigan is scared of and who has instilled all that rage in her, and that's Flemeth. Also, she clearly hates/does not care about her and wants her dead (unless killing Flemeth was part of Flemeth's plan as well? Hm.)
Morrigan is that one person who you are nice to, continuously, because nobody else is. And suddenly she becomes less cold. And then friendly. And suddenly you're asking yourself why everybody hates her, because she's a really good friend! I just wish the other companions came to a similar conclusion, especially Alistair and Wynne.
Oghren:
They did this man dirty. He has such great lines and I'm convinced he was a great person before Branka disappeared. He has that dwarven warrior spirit, and while he looks like Gimli, some of his most impactful lines remind me of Dwalin or even Thorin Oakenshield himself. He could be so noble had he gotten some character development, damnit!
Oghren as he is written is somewhat disgusting. I hate the lechering comments and the drunkenness. And still, I don't hate him because of those amazing lines he has when he's actually sober. It's frustrating and I'll give him that character development myself if the game won't. I strongly associate the song Whiskey Lullaby with him, bc that's how he would have ended up if the Warden hadn't taken him along (warning: the song talks about suicide and alcoholism). Like I said, they could have done such cool things with his character. As he is written now... it's just sad. Moments of lucidity drowned in alcohol and creepy jokes. As you can see, I don't blame the character for either. The alcoholism happens all too often irl. The creepy jokes... I put that one on the writers' tab.
I actually think Oghren could have been a great mentor figure (I know, I shock myself as well sometimes). Next to the Grey Wardens, the ones who know most about fighting darkspawn are the dwarves because they have to deal with them constantly. Especially a warrior caste dwarf like Oghren could have brought a lot of that invaluable knowledge to the team, especially since there are no Grey Wardens in Ferelden but two extremely green recruits. Next, you get the chance to give Oghren the command of the teammates you leave behind in the battle of Denerim with the reason that he has lead men into battle before. Where did that suddenly come from? Oghren should have been right up there telling my Warden that they were doing this wrong, that they needed more food (and booze) and a confident leader to keep the armies they've called together going. Oghren should have been able to tell my civilian city elf who got recruited into the Grey Wardens a six months ago how one leads an army. How one presents oneself to inspire confidence, how one doesn't crack under the pressure, how one gets the leaders of said armies (some who hate each others guts i.e. Dalish elves and humans) to work together. And, last but not least, Oghren could have had a great story about grief. This is a man who has lost most of what made him (and what he hasn't lost he's spilling down the drain with every mug of ale). This is a man who, if you take him into the Deep Roads, has to see what his wife did to his family, how his wife got absolutely obsessed, and can be forced to kill said wife or watch her die. All Wardens loose their home and families at the start of the story. It would really have rounded the whole narrative out if the Warden and Oghren could have recognised their grief in each other and hashed it out somehow. Such as it is, Oghren is a depressed drunkard and there is nothing we can do about that. I find that frustrating.
Rascal (a.k.a. Dog):
Best boy. 100/10. I wish we had gotten to see the reaction of the different origins to the mabari (because elves probably have a whole different experience with them from mages or humans. And dwarves just... I think they straight up have none? XD). Other than that, no complaints. The name Rascal was the one I gave my dog because you have to be a right rascal to survive what he did and play the pranks he plays. Smartest breed in the world indeed.
Shale:
Shale is one of those characters that I recruited rather late in the game, so I haven't had the chance to explore their personality and worldview, really. I didn't even get to take them to the Deep Roads (this will be ammended in playthrough nr. 2). As such, I don't have particularly strong opinions on them (or her? The wiki refers to Shale as 'it', but that sounds weird). But, because I know so little about Shale, I have a lot of questions. First, what were they like before they were a golem? Shayle, as she was called then, was the best warrior of her time if I remember correctly. Why did she become a golem? Was it to be able to eternally protect her people? Was the sarcasm the golem Shale exhibits also part of the dwarven warrior Shayle or did that come later (if for thirty years you have nobody to talk to but yourself, you better be entertaining. And I can imagine how it could make somebody terribly jaded as well).
Next, how attached is Shale to their golem form, exactly? According to the banter, they infinitely prefer it to a squishy fleshy form. If that is the case, however, why go to Tevinter to try and become a squishy dwarf again? It's not like that process could be reversed if they wanted to become a golem again; if Shale survives to the end of the game, the Anvil of the Void is destroyed and Caridin is dead. Was the whole spiel about their indestructible form a façade? It might have been, but not because Shale actually disliked their form. I think it would have more to do with the loss of their memories and with the very invasive experiments and alterations of Shale's body made by the mage Wilhelm. The loss of memories means that Shale is unable to remember life as a fleshy creature. They might be deflecting by pretending that they didn't care for that experience anyway because of the superiority of their golem form. The modifications made to their form by Wilhelm would have alienated them from their body. In light of this, it's significant that Shale asks the Warden to decorate their form with crystals.
All of this is, of course, pure speculation. I may have easily missed or forgotten details that would disprove the above thoughts. All in all, I like Shale and I hope we meet them again in DA4 (given that it's mostly set in Tevinter). It's a liking from a respectful distance, because Shale is tall and made out of rock and also way more experienced than I will ever be (they are literally the oldest member of the Warden's little Blight fighting squad).
Sten:
Sten is another person I'd keep a respectful distance from physically. That seems to be the what he would prefer, at least. I've enjoyed his character a lot, especially because he seems pretty clear-cut at first, but slowly lets the nuance of his person show (gruff and stoic, but then he has an eye for art, a sweet tooth and he likes cute animals). It's also very interesting that there's no moment when you learn "the truth" about him the way you do with Zevran or Leliana. There's no big reveal about his life under the Qun before coming to Ferelden. He says he was sent to monitor the Blight, but honestly? If neither Ferelden nor Orlais knew there was a Blight, how could the Qunari know? I think he's lying, and he takes his secrets back with him when he leaves Ferelden. And yet I think I know him enough to say that a Warden who has become friends with him has nothing to fear from Sten.
One thing I find very interesting about Sten is how he thinks. His conversation about how women can't be soldiers has been analysed a lot on this page I think. He seems to be arguing based on a different paradigma than the one the Warden has. He also seems to have a very clear-cut view of the world. What is fascinating to me is that, when arguing with the Warden and learning about their culture, he is not necessarily becoming more lax about his worldview. I think it's more likely that he is expanding his paradigma, the structure of thought through which he understands the world. I don't think that he is now convinced that women can be warriors as well. I think he rather understands that, in Ferelden, the relationship between occupation and gender is different than under the Qun. Which of the two he thinks is more right or more agreeable, I have no idea. I'm also not very interested in that. But I find it fascinating how he always seems to be looking on quietly, gathering data, classifying it and trying to fit it into his understanding of how the world works. I wouldn't be surprised at all if his original party was a scouting party to see how vulnerable Ferelden was at that moment to outside forces. One thing I don't understand with all of this is why he urges the Warden to meet the Blight head on. No smart soldier would suggest that, except if they are foolishly proud (and Sten doesn't seem like that kind of guy tbh). I get that the Warden takes way longer to gather allies than expected because they first have to solve all of their allies' problems. But surely Sten sees the need to have allies? Is he just that impatient? Does he have a death wish (à la, I lost my sword and am without honour, better to die sooner than later and in glorious battle)? Was he his group's previous commander and is he now having trouble following somebody else's orders? Or maybe it's his way to make sure the Warden knows what they are doing? To push them into becoming the self-assured commander their allies will need once they're all gathered? I really don't know. I like the last option best, however.
For me, Sten is my fellow, more experienced soldier. Like Alistair, he can potentially be the Warden's brother in arms, but he's definitely the older brother here. He probably doesn't take kindly to tearful confessions of how hard everything is, but I feel like he's otherwise a solid rock to lean on. I feel like the Warden can trust him to do what is necessary and count on him no matter what, especially after they get his sword back. His devotion from that point on is honestly so powerful.
Wynne:
Wynne was such a support for my Warden (except with the whole conversation about love vs. duty and that she may have to choose between Zevran and ending the Blight and that she should therefore break up with him. Wynne had a point. Astala was so not willing to sacrifice her relationship with Zevran. But the whole conversation came at a point where she was already so disillusioned that she blew up in Wynne's face (”can i please just have one (1) nice thing????”)). But all in all, Wynne is great.
She has a lot of flaws. She was very marked by her life in the Cricle and, for all her age, she has little experience living outside of it. She is also a conformist despite her strong moral core. In a way, her ability to find peace with her lot in life impresses me deeply because it speaks to a lot of strength of character. Sadly, however, strength can be ill applied and used to suppress. I think she has convinced herself that the Chantry is right under (almost) all circumstances to be able to rationalize the life that mages live. She's had her son taken away from her as a baby and an apprentice killed. Her reaction seems to have been to convince herself that this was right, or for the greater good (and now I'm thinking about the Guardian's question at the temple of Andraste's Ashes; are you wise or do you just repeat what others have told you? The answer is not as clear-cut as it might be). This is why she is so irritated by Zevran and Morrigan. By aligning herself with the Chantry, she is, in her eyes, good. Zevran and Morrigan are not; they do not conform to Chantry morality and they defend themselves tooth and nails against somebody who would try and convert them. This is something Wynne never allowed herself to do; she always did the "right" thing and it has cost her so much. I'm not saying she was right (it would probably have done her some good to rebel from time to time, and to trust her own gut instinct more), but in light of this, it hardly surprises me that she's so judgamental. She has to be, or she would be forced to confront all the evil she has not fought against all those years and all the hurt that has been caused to her by the very institution she protects (and thank God she only tries to argue and can appreciate it when people have found a good life outside of her comfort zone. If she tried to convince by force or, for example, drag her former apprentice back to the Circle... boy oh boy that would get ugly). If you think about it, Wynne really is a good example for what happens if you live by a philosophy of always choosing the lesser evil.
Something that I keep forgetting over her grandmotherly and dignified character is how damn powerful she is. She has escaped the carnage at Ostagar; HOW!? She protected those mage apprentices in the Circle tower for God knows how long. In the battle of Denerim, she wades through an army and comes out alive on the other side. The wiki lists her age at 40, I think, but that doesn't make a lick of sense unless 75 years of age are the Fereldan equivalent to 100. This lady, about whom people make grandmother jokes, did all that. It's impressive.
Zevran:
You know, I would really love to know what Wynne thinks about the events at Kirkwall in DA2. It might be a disaster for her, or it might pave the way for one last bit of character development. She certainly didn't want to return to the Circle after fighting the Blight. That may be an indicator of some change in her stance on the Circle of Magi.
Edit: I forgot that she is what the Circle considers a literal abomination! Holy cow, how could I forget that?? Anyway, her conversation about what being an abomination means is so... heartbreaking, actually. It's so tentative. So careful. "Am I an abomination? Am I the same thing that has killed my students? The same thing as Uldred? Am I lost and damned? Did I invite this spirit in? Is this my fault?" Like wow, Wynne is going through something huge right there. I love it. I have to continue playing the game to see what it ends up as, but it's fascinating and such a huge thing that she allows the Warden in on that.
Ah, Zevran, my beloved (he has stolen my heart so much it's not even funny anymore). He's funny, he's charming, he's so so loyal and it breaks my heart. Zevran is the one about whom I've read most meta: these three wonderful posts for instance, as well as this one about his possible lack of scars, and this one about his lack of freedom. All of these have influenced my opinion of him and they are great reads.
I have talked about Zevran with you before, so I'll just skip to the new stuff. I have come to conclusion that Zevran is an artist at heart. This is totally not biased by the fact that I also do art, but hear me out. One of his preferred gifts are bars of silver and gold. While those have the obvious utility of basically functioning as money (they can be sold to any silversmith or goldsmith and their value is pretty stable through time and in different countries), there's also this from his codex: "Zevran shows an affinity for the finer things in life—hardly surprising for an Antivan Crow—but his appreciation can be more poetic than he lets on. A simple bar of refined silver or gold, uncomplicated by a craftsman's hammer, is elegantly valuable." Tell me that is not an artist's eye that sees that gold and sees the beauty in it. Then, there's also the meta about Zevran the Seducer which I linked above and link here again. It talks specifically about how he lets himself enjoy the target and be seen in his enjoyment. Tell me that is not an artist's eye that beholds the beauty of something he is set out to destroy. Even his talk about his assassinations show this. He talks about it as an art, the way somebody would talk about the brutal intervention in stone that produces a sculpture. Yes, it's a rationalization of the act of killing and yes killing is still wrong. But he doesn't go on about it on a moral tangent the way Alistair or Wynne would (”this person was bad, killing them was necessary”) or even through the argument of survival like Morrigan would (”it was either them or me and it sure as Hell wasn't going to be me”). He talks about the pleasure of a job well done, of the satisfaction of striking the precise point and executing a plan to the perfection so as to minimize chances of discovery and to make a clean death possible. And pleasure in seeing and in doing, this I firmly believe, is absolutely fundamental for an artist.
My favourite part about my Warden and Zevran as a pairing is that Zevran precisely brings out that ability to take your pleasures as they come and to really savour them. Fighting the Blight is tough; it's so important to find good things amidst the chaos to stay sane. If Astala saves Zevran from himself by offering him a place to stay and a purpose, Zevran saves Astala from herself by keeping her from running herself into the ground trying to save the world.
There are some things I don't like about Zev. The incessant flirting, for example, sometimes makes me uncomfortable (it becomes enjoyable for me once the Warden and him are in a relationship, but before that? Nah, no thanks). I wish he would also leave the other female characters alone (and there's so many more shameless comments of his aimed at Morrigan, Leliana or Wynne than at Alistair or maybe even Sten).
---
And that's my take on the Origins companions (this was rather long. Whew ^^' I hope it was still readable and that you enjoyed it!!) Thank you so much for the ask!! It's been a joy thinking about this. I was worrying at first that the less prominent companions like Sten or Shale wouldn't get as much content but... well XD
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atinydise · 4 years ago
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Ateez arguing with their s/o in a middle of a make out session (part 2)
❦ Genre: Fluff & Suggestive.
❦ Pairing: OT8.
❦ Word count: 3K.
❦ Requested: Heck yes lol, thank you! 🦋
❦ A/N Note: ⚠️Since I took again an eternity to post it, I advice to read the first part again (or for the first time)! Thank you for liking the 1st one tho! hehe
HONGJOONG
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Jongho called the leader once again, even waved in front of his face but still nothing. "Is he ignoring me?" He asked San. His friends shrugged. "He's lost in his thoughts. And he's probably really far away from here." "HYUNG!" Yelled Jongho in the leader's ear. His brain finally reconnected to the reality. "The hell-" "It's been 2 minutes since I'm trying to get your attention." Said Jongho, a bit pissed. "What's going on?" He grabbed his phone, hoping to see any notification. "We need to go back practicing." "Ah.... then I'll join in 2 minutes. I need to call someone." He said, leaving the room. "What on the earth is going on with him?" Whispered San. "No idea." Replied the maknae. Hongjoong went to the restroom, the most far away from the practice room, just to be sure that nobody will bother him. "Okay, please babe pick up." He begged quietly plugging his Air Pods on. [“Hello, it’s the girl who always chosen after her boyfriend’s career. What can I do for you?”] At least you didn’t lose your humor sense.
[“Babe I’m sorry.”] Apologized Hongjoong. [“You are sorry for what exactly?”] [“For ruining the intimate moment, we were about to share.”] [“And?”] Hongjoong rolled his eyes. Good thing for him you weren’t able to see it. [“And to always let my career pass before you.”] [“And?”] You repeated. Your boyfriend was confused for a second. He ignored for what he needed to apologize. [“And... and...”] he stuttered. [“I don’t know.”] He heard a long and heavy growl coming from your side. [“Well. I guess it’s already more than fine.”] You claimed. [“What do you wanted me to say?”] He asked curiously. [“I don’t know... maybe something like ‘to apologize, I’m coming right now and for sure tomorrow you won’t be able to walk’.”] You said, imitating his voice. [“Are you on your period?”] Asked Hongjoong. He knew you so well that he immediately understands when you dirty talked to him, without even a simple stutter. You let a quick silence settle before finally say: [“Yeah.”] [“Then let’s wait a little bit longer then.”] He sneered. [“Coward.”] You replied. [“Love you too.”] [“Me too.”] [“So, we are good?”] He asked. [“Give me at least a hug and we will be good.”] You replied. [“See you tonight then.”] He smiled.
SEONGHWA
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[“Hello! You are on Y/N’s voicemail I’m not av-”] Seonghwa growled and let his phone fall on the couch. “She’s not answering I guess.” Claimed Mingi. “No.” Seonghwa rolled his eyes. “She’s ghosting me since... 2 days now.” “Did you try to meet her at school?” “Yeah. I’ve waited 3 hours there. To finally remember that she’s on spring break.” “And at her apartment?” Asked Mingi. “Of course, Sherlock. But nothing.” Sighed Seonghwa. “It’s like she disappeared.” Mingi raised a brow. “She’s probably doing her own life.” The eldest member was suddenly hit by the reality. “Mingi you are a genius!” “Yeah, I know but why?” “We are Thursday!” Claimed Seonghwa, putting his shoes on. “Yeah and?” “Y/N is doing her laundry every Thursday evening! She might be there.” Seonghwa left the dorm so quickly that Mingi was still processing what just happened. “The beck is wrong with him...” Your boyfriend ran to the laundry shop which you are used to go. He prayed the whole way, that you would be sitting there, reading a book or watching a ton of TikTok while your clothes were washing. His heart missed a beat when he spotted you there. As fast as possible, he opened the door. “Babe!” “Hwa?” You raised a brow. “You came here to tell me how to wash my stuff?” Seonghwa ignored your question and turned around. He saw a cute grandma tidying her clothes. “Excuse me ma’am. But I will need you to leave quickly because I’m about to take my girlfriend, right here and right now.” “Seonghwa!” You yelled, outrageously. “Oh, it’s okay darling. I was young too.” Giggled the old lady. You grabbed your boyfriend by the wrist and guided him outside. “What the hell is wrong with you?” You asked, mad. “I want to apologize!” “Do you think it’s the right way to do it?” “I want to prove you that nothing can bother me to have sex with you now. Not a stain and not even an old grandma.” “And the CCTV?” You pointed at the camera fixed where you were standing 2 minutes ago. “I don’t mind having public.” He smirked. “You are unbelievable.” You sneered. “Does it mean you are forgiving me?” “Maybe.” You replied cockily while entering back inside. “Grr. I love when you play hard-to-get.” “What the hell happened to you Park Seonghwa.” You laughed happily.
YUNHO
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Yunho was tormented. It was 3AM and he didn’t close his eyes for a second. He was staring at the white ceiling, trying to know how to resolve this situation. You didn’t talk to him after the little incident. Yunho understood why you were mad. He didn’t tell you the truth and the real reason behind his shyness. He glanced at you. The sheet was barely covering your back. He was about to put it right, but the little voice in his head claimed that it was a bad idea. So, he stared at the big spec between both of you. For sure, you could put a third person in the middle. Yunho sighed. What could you to be less mad? The reason of why he decided to stop earlier was because of the stress, not because you weren’t attractive enough. It was the opposite actually. He truly believes that you will think that is too dumb. Just because he’s scared of doing something wrong. Or worse hurting you. But more he was thinking, more it started to be overwhelming for him. “Y/N.” He whispered. “Hm?” You muttered sleepily. “Y/N.” “What? It’s 3AM.” You grunted, still not facing him. “I’m sorry for what happened this evening. I was terrified. I don’t want to do anything wrong with you.” He continued. “I really find you attractive. Even too much sometimes but... I want to have sex with you of course.” You couldn’t help but to smile secretly. His words were well chosen. All the insecurities you had earlier were vanished. Yunho stayed quiet for few seconds, waiting for you to say something, but instead you handed your hand, still facing the wall. He understood that it was an invitation to cuddle. “So, we are good now?” He asked, positioning behind you. “Yeah.” You replied, rubbing his hand which was resting on your stomach. “Cool.” He whispered, finally relaxing. “Thank you for telling me.” You said. “So... do you want to try it right now?” He shyly asked. “I’m tired Yunho.” You declined. “Sure. Okay. No problem.” He replied. “But can we change our position because you are waking up the ‘beast’?” You laughed when you felt his boner pocking on your butt. “Told you... you were too much attractive sometimes.” He giggled, blushing a bit.
YEOSANG
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A new notification. But not coming from you. Yeosang was waiting for you to send a message like you usually do in the morning. But the next day after your little and stupid argument, you were remaining silent. “She should have sent a message already. It’s 10AM.” Said Yeosang, frustrated. “Just let her breath.” Sighed Jongho, playing PlayStation on the upper bed. “I didn’t send a text to her yet. She should be the one apologizing.” “Why?” “We are 2 making love. So? She can buy condoms for me too!” “You right.” Started Jongho. “But you should always have a pack or at least one, on you.” “On which side are you?” Growled Yeosang. “None. Your intimacy isn’t my business. But I just admitted that both of you are wrong.” Declared the maknae. “Since when are you so mature?” Sighed his friend. “I need someone who can tell that I’m right.” Jongho stayed quiet. He would never say something like this when knew he was 100% right. “And she would never buy one because she would be ashamed of it.” Added Yeosang. “The cashier doesn’t care. You are not the only one in the earth to buy one.” Replied Jongho. “We are going to see if you have the same speech when you’ll buy for yourself.” “I do already.” “W-wait what?” Just when Yeosang was getting curious, you entered the room like a storm. “Kang Yeosang!” You threw the plastic bag on him. “What th- ouch!” “Jongho, I will ask you to leave the room for an hour. Or 2.” You removed your jacket. Yeosang opened the bag and threw everything on the bed. His eyes widened when he saw a dozen condoms’ pack. “The hell Y/N-” “I bought exactly 12 packs to show that you don’t need to be ashamed about it and that no one cares.” Jongho exited the room completely flustered, but with a bigger esteem for you. “Okay now remove your pants.” You ordered, pulling out your hoodie. “Like? Right now? Not even a make out-” “It’s been 10 hours that I’m waiting.” “O-Okay.” Yeosang was a bit taken a back, but it was fast forgotten when you unclasped your bra.
SAN
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You rolled on your bed once again. You were so frustrated and mad at San. The vein on your forehead couldn't stop popping out every time you remembered him picking up his phone. Angrily, you covered your entire face with a pillow. Desperately, you tried to erase of these thoughts. Just when you were finally finding some peace, the fire alarm resonated in your apartment. You jumped out of your bed and went straight to the kitchen. Instead of seeing a big fire, you saw San opening the window as wide as he could. "What is going on?!" You claimed, grabbing a chair. San was panicked as you, or even more. He was trying to push the smoke out of the room while wondering what you were doing. On your tippytoe, you pushed the button to stop this annoying and loud noise. "Thanks God." Sighed San, relieved. "The heck you are trying to do. Burn my apartment?" You turned off the stove. "I wanted to prepare a royal breakfast for you." He pouted, disappointed that his surprise failed. You looked around you, now that the smoke was slowly disappearing, you could see the entire mess in the kitchen. Flour was spread on every parcel of the counter, one or two eggs were smashed on the floor, milk was spilled on cupboard and an incredible number of dishes were stacked in the sink. "Yeah, that's the first time I make pancakes by myself." He scratched his head. "Choi San..." "I want to apologize for yesterday! But I wanted to do it right!" "Oh nice. So, you said 'to apologize to Y/N because I've completely ghosted her to talk with my teammate that I can see every day, I'll burn her apartment'?" "Babe! I'm really sorry." He apologized once again. "I will do everything you want for a week." "Everything?" You raised a brow, curious. "Yeah." "Okay, then start by cleaning your mess." You pointed at the counter. "After that let's clean the entire apartment." "Sure." He nodded. "After that... we will eat at our favorite restaurant. And you are going to pay." "Wow. Sex must be really important for you." Declared San, when the list didn't stop. "Never stop a horny woman." You warned him.
MINGI
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["I'm parked in front of your building. Let's talk really quick."] You read this text message at least 10 times to be sure you understood well. It's been 2 days since the practice room accident. You only exchanged few messages but nothing more. You didn't mind giving him a proper answer. You just put your hoodie back on, and of course by "your" it means "his", and left the dorm, without warning your roommates. But honestly, by the way you went out, dressed like this, they could only assume that you were about to meet Mingi. Just when you got out of the building, you spotted your boyfriend's car, as he said, right in front of the door. You hesitated a second, but finally hoped in. "You should have wear something warmer. It's cold outside." He said instantly, when he saw your bare legs. "Good evening to you too Mingi." You greeted him sarcastically. "Do you drove here, just to scold me about my outfit?" "No, of course no." He whispered, looking right at the street in front of him. Since, a big and awkward silence settled. None of you wanted to say something, too afraid to tell something risky and lead one of you to be mad. It felt like walking on a really straight and thin line. You played nervously with the hem of the hoodie, which was barely covering your legs, you noticed. That's probably why he scolded you. For your own good. As always. "I'm sorry." You both apologized at the same time. You glanced at each other, surprised and giggled cutely. "I'm sorry." Insisted Mingi, grabbing your hand. "Me too." You smiled to him. "Sorry for almost crushing you with my weight." He added. "You did." "And sorry for almost make you bald." "You did it too." Mingi pinched your leg gently, happy to see that you were still bratty sometimes. "Ooookay! I'm kidding! I'm sorry for what I've said too. That's wasn't really nice." "Yeah, it wasn't." "Song Mingi-" "Soo..." you didn't have enough time to say anything that he started the car. "Where are we going?" You asked enthusiastically, putting your seatbelt. "Just want to bring you somewhere. So, we can talk about these 2 terrible days." "Oh, I thought you wanted to go in a Love Hotel." You joked. "That's the plan too." "I-"
WOOYOUNG
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2 weeks since your argument but 4 weeks since you shared an intimate moment. You needed to admit that even a flick on your forehead would turn you on. You were so needy. But no way Wooyoung could know it. You tried your best to stay far away from him when sleeping, so you wouldn't end by griding your butt on him, desperately. Usually, Wooyoung was really touchy, and he would initiate a make out session the first one, but surprisingly, he only exchanged a peck or a hug from time to time. You spotted him covering his manhood, with a blanket sometimes. He would always pretext that he is cold. But you are not dumb. He takes shower way much longer than usual tooo. On his side, Wooyoung was really struggling to not give up the first one. He was barely looking at you. He knew that with only one shorty or croc-top, it was over for him. In conclusion, you were 2 idiots trying to suppress their arousal for each other, just because of an argument. "Do you want to watch a movie?" Offered Wooyoung. "Sure, and I know how much you like movies." You smirked. Your boyfriend rolled his eyes and ignored your comment. Instead of insisting on the subject again, he played the first movie that appeared. It was a really nice and chill one until the main actress discovered the wild side of college. It started by a scene and then other one. Followed by 3 more. Inside Wooyoung was hoping that you wouldn't notice the form on his sweatpants. "What a movie huh." He laughed nervously. "Yeah." You nodded. "They are really getting it huh." "They are really liking these scenes." "They are really well made." He replied dumbly. "Maybe that's what they want." "Of course, everyone wants that." "Yeah. Everyone." You repeated. "Everyone." "You exchanged a quick glance. Wooyoung was finally the first one to give up. "Do you-" "Heck yes!" You replied. "You should have told me!" "No, I was too mad at you!" "Do you really want to argue again? Right now?" He asked. "No." "Okay then go because I'm going to explode!"
JONGHO
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"I still don't understand how you ended here, right in front of my college." You raised a brow at Seonghwa and Yeosang. "We were just having a cool walk and unconsciously ended here." Replied Seonghwa, the most natural possible. "The campus is 30 minutes away from KQ Quarter. And 30 minutes with a car." "We had a pretty long walk, okay?" Replied Yeosang, nervously and almost aggressively. "Okay okay... relax dude." You rolled your eyes. "You should come with us a bit." Started Seonghwa. "There's a park next to the campus. Let's talk there few minutes." Added Yeosang. "You guys... are acting really strangely." You claimed. Without asking your authorization, they each picked your arm and brought you to the park. You could fight or ask them to leave you alone, they wouldn't. Seonghwa almost needed oo ask people to not all the police. "What the heck guys? I really need to study and-" You stopped right when you saw your boyfriend sitting peacefully in front of you. A big blanket and a bunch of food were cautiously set on the grass. "Hi babe." Smiled Jongho. "What is this?" You asked. "You prepared all of this?" "Yeah." He scratched his head. "I hope you like it." "And we helped." Whispered Yeosang. "Are you doing this because you said your coach's name when we were making out." "You what?" Almost chocked Yeosang. "Eeew, this is disgusting!" Added Seonghwa. "It was an accident!" He rolled his eyes. "An accident." You crossed your arms on your chest. "I'm really sorry baby. I swear it was only because I've worked with her few hours ago." Explained Jongho. "Anyway, it's not like she's sexy. She's 60 years old and so strict and rude." Said Seonghwa. "She is sexy." Said Yeosang. All of you stared at him. "I'm joking. Relax." He sighed. "Y'all ready need to chill sometimes..." "So do you want to spend an afternoon with me?" Asked the maknae. "Of course." You accepted happily. "Cool! Then sit here." He pointed at the comfy place settled between pillows. "Thank you, Mark." "Mark?" "I'm kidding!" You giggled. "1 point for me now." "Unbelievable." Smiled Jongho.
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diofasolia · 3 years ago
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{Always}
{Shattered! Dream x Reader}
Shattered! Dream by @shattereddreamsau
Writings by me
Today (8/7) is Shattered! Dream's birthday and I decided to post a writing I did last year—which is also the reason why I eventually join in the tumblr
Because back when I wrote this story, I found Dark Cream comic, which made by amazing @zu-is-here
Her creations give me the inspiration for the writing
The story is long (it has like 2000 words in it) and may be a bit cheesy, but I'll be happy to know if you read the whole thing (◡ ω ◡)
******
Before the story start, I want to ask you a question.
   Do you believe that the worst person can change?
   Oh! How awkward, sorry, I ask the wrong question.
   What I meant to ask is—
   Do you believe that the best person, the kindest person in the world can change?
   Maybe…all it needs is a tiny push?
   The harsh whipping hits in my abdomen again. I kneel on the ground, thinking how deep the scar might be from that blow.
   "What're you doing!? Look at your king when I'm talking to you! Such a piece of useless trash!!"
   "I apologized, My Lord."
   Raising my bruised neck, I gaze at the former guardian of positivity. Those eyes that used to hold the tenderness, now only fill up with hatred.
   "Where're those fricking basters!? I told you to track down my brother and other Sanses!"
   "I'm sorry, My Lord. They escaped. I can't find where their location is–"
   Not even waiting for my sentence finished, another powerful punch land on my face. I watch as a tooth fall out of my mouth. Blood dripping down my chin.
   "Worthless! Can't even do a little task like that!"
   Multiple kicks and insults throw at me. The numb feeling slowly occurs in my torso as I curling up into a ball.
   Closing my eyes, the memories from the past arises in my mind, bringing me back to the day that I seal my fate.
   "Dream? Earth to Dream!"
   "(Y/N)? What's wrong, love?"
   "What's wrong? I've called your name for five times! But you didn't answer to me."
   Dream scratches the back of his skull, looking a bit embarrassed.
   "Is that so? I'm sorry, (Y/N)! It won't happen again, I swear!"
   I cuddle Dream close, letting out a giggle.
   "It's fine! I don't really mind it. But Dream, you tend to space out recently. Is there something on your mind? You can tell me everything, you know that, right?"
   Giving me a kiss on the cheek, Dream smiles gently. He assures me that there's nothing to worry about. It’s just the task of guardian makes him a little exhausted.
   "Well, if that's the case, go on and get some rest! I will inform you if something was up."
   "Okay! Thanks, (Y/N), I'm glad I have you by my side."
   "Me too, my dreams and hopes."
   It's been quiet in Dream's room. He must be very tired. I knock on his bedroom door, telling him to wake up.
   "Dream, I know you're tired. But you still need to eat."
   "Dream? Are you awake yet?"
   There's no answer.
   Guess I’ll have to get into his room.
   Yet no one is there, only an opening portal hanging in the air.
   A portal leads to Dream's corrupted universe.
   "I'll show you, brother. I know what you're feeling…I know what you're going through…"
   "No! Dream, stop!! You don't know what you're doing!!"
    Two vague voices shouting in the distance. I begin to run like my life is in danger.
    What the heck is going on here?
    What is this dreadful feeling?!
   I'm too slow.
    The half bitten black apple lay on the ground. I watch in horror as the small tendrils creeping out Dream's eye sockets. His painful screech rings in my ears.
   "Dream!!!"
    I reach out to him, hoping that I can comfort Dream in my arms. The positive energy…they gotta do something, right?
   "What…? Nightmare! Let go of me!! I need to…to get Dream!!"
   "No! You can't get near him now, (Y/N)! You'll…you'll get hurt!"
    I thrash in Nightmare's hold, screaming at the top of my lungs.
   "Dream!! No! Dream!!!"
   "What's wrong, love?"
   My teary eyes stare up, it's…Dream's voice.
   But it sends an unknown coldness down my spine.
   "Ahh, you're crying! Good, keep doing that."
   A sadistic grin spreads on Dream's face.
   "I love it."
   Nightmare is already sobbing, begging for his beloved brother to come back. I walk step by step to Dream, putting on the best smile I can muster.
   "My love…Dream…please, come back to me…! I love you. I know you're strong enough to resist those negative feelings…"
   Dream cackles loudly. The tentacles wrap tightly around my neck, pulling me closer to him.
   "Go back? To my weak self? (Y/N), when did you become stupid? Why would I do that?"
   "I've already past the point of no return."
   A bucket of freezing water splashes on me. I must have passed out during the abusing session.
   "Wake up."
   "Get clean up, we're leaving."
   I pick up my sore body, stumbling across the lonely hall that me and Dream live in. There's no one here except the two of us.
   "Make a choice, (Y/N). Will you join me? Or will you prefer to disobey me like my coward brother?"
   "I'll go with you."
   I want to weep, yet I can’t even shed a single tear. I shouldn't be upset. After all, it's me who decided to follow my corrupted lover.
   Filling up the bathtub, I submerge myself in the steamy water.
   "Why, (Y/N)!? Why are you side with him!? Open your eyes! Dream doesn't love you anymore. He's just using you!"
    "It doesn't matter, Nightmare."
   "Great job, (Y/N)! You make this AU full of despair and miseries! I always know you're my favorite soldier!"
   "It's my pleasure to serve you, my lord."
   I scrub my blood-stained skin, the wounds sting because of the soapy water. Some of the old gash reopened, making me yell in frustration.
   "We can save Dream! Don't lose any hope, (Y/N)!"
   "How? There are barely things we can do. It's over, Nightmare. Look at yourself! You transfer back because Dream shattered! How are you gonna turn him back? By let someone else eats a black apple again?!"
   The white dirty bandages wrap around my mess up torso. Why am I even bother treating my injures? They sure are going to reopen soon anyway.
   "No matter what you say to me, I won't change the path I've chosen, Nightmare."
   "I've already gone far enough."
   "I don't understand…he's hurting you, (Y/N). Are you still…in love with my brother?"
   I hate it so much.
   The smell won't disappear no matter how many times I wash it over and over.
   I hate it.
   My hair smells like those disgusting goop on Dream.
   Why can't I get rid of this sickening stink!?!
   Throwing the bottles at random direction, I tug my hair till I scream out.
   "What's with all that noises in there!? You better finish your business soon, I'm losing my patience!"
   I hate it.
   "I deeply apologize for making you wait for such a long time, my lord."
   I wish I can understand your pain sooner.
   "Whatever, time to leave."
   I'm sorry I couldn't save you.
   "My lord, where are we going, may I ask?"
   Dream's left eye glows in excitement.
   "I find out where those sneaky scums are hiding."
   With a wave of hand, Dream opens the portal leads to an unknown empty place.
   No one is left out.
   Nightmare, Ink, Blue, everyone's here.
   "And I'm going to give them a pleasant encounter."
   But today is a little different.
   Then all hell breaks out.
   Nightmare's starting to transform. The dark gooey substance covering up his body gradually.
   The same routine as usual. Nightmare pleads Dream to stop his actions while the former guardian of positivity just laugh it off, a bit talks here and there.
   "Miss me, dear brother?"
    The crazy laughter of Dream rings in the air.
   "Yes! Finally, things are getting interesting!"
   While Dream focusing on battling with Nightmare, I have to handle the two other skeletons.
   "I know deep down you don't want to fight us, (Y/N)! Let's just drop our weapons, okay?"
   Ink creates a bunch of arrows, ready to launch them at Dream. I block his charge immediately, slashing Ink's arm with my sword.
   My silence is always my only answer.
   "No one's going to get near Dream."
   I continue to attack Blue. We've already been through this conversation many times.
   "How…how's this possible?!"
   Dream can only defense himself from Nightmare as the latter one keeps on firing attacks. It looks like Nightmare gets more advantage of the battle.
   "Seems like you can't control your tentacles very well yet, little bro."
    Nightmare mocks, resulting Dream to lose his temper. He strikes at Nightmare blindly, only to receive a powerful blow in the guts.
   "Dream!!"
   I rush to Dream, who’s looking more exhausted than usual. From the way how he’s panting heavily, I know he's already losing too much strength to fight.
   "Get away from me! I don't need your help!!"
   The attack is sloppy but I didn't dodge it. Dream can beat me all he wants after I get him to safety.
   Even if it means I can possibly die.
   "My lord, I apologize, but we have to move to another universe again."
   Dream growls at me.
   "It's you who are dragging me down!!"
   They're still following us.
   I'm whacking to the ground in a flash. A heavy boot stamps on my ribs harshly.
   The nasty cracking sound and my piercing shirek fills in the air.
   "You're no longer useful to me."
    I watch as Dream disappears in a portal. He doesn't even spare a glance at me. Leaving me bleeding and slowly dying on the ground.
   "I've told you."
    Nightmare's lurking shadow towers above me.
   "Oh no, Ink! We must save (Y/N)! She's…!"
     Ink put a hand on Blue's shoulder, shaking his head solemnly.
   "We can't, Blue. Remember, our priority is to capture Dream."
   "Please, Night…"
     I find myself pleading to Nightmare.
   "Don't…kill Dream…"
   "You and I both know that's an empty promise, (Y/N)."
   Three skeletons begins to move towards the portal that opens by Ink. Before they leave, Nightmare whispers in a quiet voice but loud enough for me to catch.
   "…he's in Dreamtale."
   How much will you sacrifice for protecting your fallen love?
   "You really are dumb. You know that?"
   "Or you're just enjoy me breaking you apart bit by bit?"
   "Don't you scare of your own nightmares?"
   "I deserve it."
   "I'm already living with it."
   "You will always be my fading dreams."
   "It's my own redemption."
   "Surrender now, Dream. Then we can put an end to this whole mess."
   My time is running out.
    "Heh, I thought you know me well, dear brother. You should get the answer by yourself now."
   "…goodbye, my poor little brother.
   I pray to you, God. Let me see him one last time.
   I can't save him the last time.
    It's always a miracle how accurate the portal can lead to.
   "(Y…Y/N)?"
   This time, I'm going to save Dream.
   There's no pain anymore.
   "…at least…you……say my…name……one…last……time…"
   Crimson blood drips down my penetrated torso. I think I see Dream's crying. But that might be just my own tears.
   Forgive me, Dream.
   My collapsing body falls forward, landing on the soft grass surface before me.
(3rd pov)
   "Nightmare, I need your assistance."
   "I thought we're enemies now."
    "There's a method I want to try. It might succeed to bring Dream back."
   "Well, I'm here to listen."
   "She's just a tool."
   "Nothing else."
    "Because I know him well. The extreme emotion is the only possible way to get things right again."
   Dream mutters to himself like a broken recorder. Staring the wrecking body of yours, his non-existent heart begins to hurt.
    "I refuse! That's too dangerous! You surely will be dead in this terrible plan! Besides, how can you so sure he'll behave like you predict!?"
    "It's worth it. I'm doing this for the whole alternate universes, and him."
    "But…you…"
    "Wake up! I demand you to wake up now! (Y/N)!!"
    "It's not…worth for your own life."
    "Don't pity me. Pity for the one who can't help himself in his own nightmare."
    "Wake up."
   "Don't leave me…alone, (Y/N)…please…my love…"
   Ahh, it must be the time when he transfers into this horrible creature.
   Nightmare, who’s now in his uncorrupted form, widening his eyes.
   "…congratulations, (Y/N). Your suicidal plan…works."
   Dream doesn't recall when’s the last time he breaks down.
    No one dare to speak a word, except Dream drowning in his own pitiful cries.
     "Always."
     "I don't understand…he's hurting you, (Y/N). Are you still…in love with my brother?"
   You look at Nightmare with a smile, replying to him like it's the only correct answer in your mind.
121 notes · View notes
aphrodite-would-be-proud · 4 years ago
Note
I dont know if your accepting requests right now, but I love your kiddo headcannons. Could you do the Kiddo's reacting to Reiner asking you to marry him? I just really want to know who's going to get excited for the wedding, if any of the kids are going to be upset...your headcannons are just the best!!
Hey! Yes my requests are open, it's written in my bio tho i get it might be confusing. Imma make sure to also write it on the navigation post.
And by the name of persephone this the cutest most wholesome kiddo scenario! How did i not think of that? Just what realm of heaven are you living on Anon? Whatever it is thank you for blessing us with this thought💛
You're with Reiner, he wants to propose but his cousins overhear him.
{ Reiner x reader | tw:marriage tw:proposing tw:parental-neglect tw:heavy-angst | cartoony?, fluff, angst with comfort | modern }
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{ The Lanterns, circa 1910 by Charles Courtney Curran 1861-1942 }
"And no opening the door to anyone no matter how sorry you feel for them, okay?" Colt said while adjusting the tie around his neck, making sure it's even as he takes one final look at himself in the mirror before putting on his coat.
"Okay" Falco replied, watching as his brother was getting frustrated with the too many buttons on his coat. "Do you need help?"
Nodding his head, Colt let Falco do his buttons while he reached for the cup of coffee he left on the table, quickly finishing it all. "And make sure to get to bed on time, no staying up reading comic books, you have school tomorrow."
"Don't worry I won't" Falco looked in concern at the empty coffee cup, "isn't this your third one today? I don't think you should be drinking this much..."
"You worry too much Falco, just take care of yourself okay?" Colt rubbed his brother's hair, before patting his head. "I'll text you to check on how you're doing so make sure to charge your phone."
And just like that, Colt wrapped a scarf around his neck, grabbed his keys, and left through the door. Leaving Falco standing there at the entrance, alone in the house.
Looking around the quiet room, Falco picked up the empty cup before washing it in the sink. Just as he was putting it away, the door bell rang.
'Did he forget something?' He thought, wondering if it's his the keys again. But looking at the table, he could see nothing was there.
Wait...Colt did take his keys before leaving, why would he be ringing the doorbell.
The ringing got more frequent, followed by aggressive knocking. Falco took a step back into the kitchen, thinking if he could dash upstairs to get his phone in time.
But he didn't want to trouble his brother...Think Falco think! What would captain america do in this scenario? But Reiner always told him he should think for himself...
And so he grabbed a knife, slowly inching towards the door but then he heard it, that fimilar sound.
"Falco? You in there? It's freezing open the door!"
"Gabi?!" Dropping the knife, Falco rushed to the door. Quickly unlocking it as a very cold looking Gabi stepped inside.
"What took you so long? I can't feel my fingers!" Rubbing her hands together to attempt to warm them up, Gabi glared at Falco.
"Sorry I thought you were a-" he looked away at the knife "uh..anyway let me get you a blanket" before he could rush up the stairs, Gabi pulled him back.
"No there's no time! We have to leave now." Holding his hand, Gabi dragged a very confused Falco out the door and they began making their way to the next destination.
-
Soon enough, the pair found themselves standing outside Udo's house, directly under his window.
"You still haven't told me why we're here." Falco watched as Gabi was looking for something on the ground, he stiffened when she smiled after picking up a small rock.
"I will tell you once Udo and Zofia are here, it's very important." She handed him the rock. "Now let's focus on getting Udo here, make sure to aim for his window because his mom is a really light sleeper."
"Wait if that's the case then why didn't we go to Zofia's house first? She lives right opposite of mine!" Falco whisper-shouted.
"Because! Neither of us can deal with a sleeping Zofia and you know that, only Udo knows how to wake her up." Gabi explained, crossing her arms while getting impatient. "So hurry up and throw the rock!"
Flaco looked at Udo's window, then at the rock. He looked at Gabi one last time before closing his eyes and throwing it, it made a sound as it hit the window....nothing happened
"Why am I the one throwing the rocks?" He looked anxiously at Udo's dark window, moving his weight from one leg to the other.
"I'm stronger. If i throw it, I'll break the window." Gabi was looking for another rock, having found one slightly bigger than the last. "Here try this one"
-
Having reunited again, the four of them were walking down the street to Reiner's house late at night. Gabi leading the group, Falco following her reluctantly, Udo keeping a still sleepy Zofia from walking into a wall while in her pajamas.
"This better be good Gabi, otherwise you can forget about copying my math homework for a month." The thought of just turning around and going back home to bed was still in the back of Zofia's mind.
Having almost reached Reiner's house, the four of them could see multiple cars parked outside of it, some of them they recognise.
"See! I told you all it'd be worth it. They're having a secret party without us! I heard Reiner talking about it on the phone with Zeke this morning when I was pretending to be asleep so I don't have to walk home." Gabi said as they sneaked to the side of the house.
"That's mister Zeke's car, miss Annie's and...even Porco's too.." Udo said as they climbed the house fence.
"They invited Porco but not us?" With that information, Zofia was fully awake.
"That's exactly what I've been telling you guys about! Here look!" Standing on her toes, Gabi looked through the window, between the curtains. Three heads joining her soon.
Looking inside, they could see the living room they were so fimilar with, looking really different. For once it wasn't a mess of pillows and candy wrappers! It was actually clean with various candles adding to the atmosphere.
Zeke and Pieck could be seen siting next to each other on the couch, drinking some wine while Colt is in the arm chair next to them with Porco pushing a drink in his hands.
Annie and Bertolt are leaning against the wall, she's holding a plate of donuts while he's talking about something.
Finally, you and Reiner are sitting on the couch opposite to Zeke and Pieck. His hand is around your shoulder and he keeps taking glances behind him at bertolt, while Zeke stares at him from the front.
If you focus, you can hear the muffled sound of music playing in the background.
The four kids watched as Reiner whispered something in your ear, before you noded, got up and headed towards the kitchen. The second you left, all of them crowded at the couch next to Reiner, Talking in hushed tones.
"What...are they doing?" Udo watched as Reiner took out a small red box from his pocket, hands shaking while the people around him leaned in to see what's inside as he opened it.
Quiet gasps and awws followed after as the ring inside came into view, glittering in the dark by the candlelight. Although that only seemed to fluster Reiner even more.
The four of them looked at each other with wide eyes, then back at the ring as Reiner reached out to hold it delicately in his hand for a few seconds as if he's offering it up to the air in front of him, the room got quiet, everyone holding their breaths.
"Oh " Falco said, "i...think i know what's going on." Both Udo and Zofia noded.
"What?" Gabi knitted her eyebrows, tilting her head, "what's going on?"
Before any of them could answer, Zofia told them to keep quiet when she noticed you walking back in the room, the ring back in the box inside Reiner's pocket.
Everyone was now standing, smiles on their faces, even Annie showing one of her rare ones. You were holding a new plate of donuts when you noticed them, with Reiner in the middle, nervous eyes staring right at yours.
Stepping towards you, Annie took the plate before going back to her spot. A few chuckles from Zeke, Bertolt and Pieck followed while Reiner shock his head.
Still outside, the kids saw Reiner start talking about something. Whatever it is, it must have been emotional because everyone in the room was listening with anticipation.
"I can't hear anything" unlocking the window, Gabi opened it just slighly. The muffled sound of music becoming clear as Reiner was finishing his speech.
"And you'd make me the happiest man in the world" he got on one knee, hand taking something out of his pocket. "If we could spend the rest of our lives together and I'll cherish every single moment you're by my side."
He opened the red box, holding the ring in front of you, eyes pleading. "Will you please marry me?"
The second you said yes, Reiner pulled you in the tightest most loving hug in your life, muttering "thank you"s under his breath. You could taste saltiness of his tears when he kissed your lips, still not letting go.
"He's crying" Udo said, feeling his own glasses getting a bit blurred.
"They're kissing." Falco's face was as red as a tomato, covering his blushing face with his hand but looking through his fingers.
"Annie finished all the donuts" was Zofia's comment with a pout.
Gabi's hold on the window got tighter, her lips quivering. "We have to stop them. They can't get married!" And like that, she slammed the window open before climbing inside.
"Gabi! Wait!" Falco tried grabbing her sleeve but was too slow, so he climbed after her into the room.
As expected from two children suddenly breaking in the room through the window, everyone's eyes were on them with surprised expressions.
Looking straight at Reiner, Gabi pulled you away from him before snatching the ring box from his hand. "NO! no one is marrying anyone" with all her might, she threw the box to Falco before telling him to run away.
Having been dragged into the middle of this, Falco looked at Colt's concerned expression, Reiner's confused face and Pieck's amused one. Stepping near Colt, he was about to give him the ring when he saw Gabi's face, making his stop midway.
"Run Falco! Just go!" She yelled, tears streaming down her face, legs shaking. "They can't leave us! Not like our parents did..."
Falco felt his chest tightening, recalling how empty the house feels with just him and Colt being away for work most of the time. How cold it is, unlike the warmth he feels whenever they stay over at your house.
He began tearing up too, holding the box so tightly to his chest.
It was Reiner who made the first move, while everyone was stunned looking at the two crying children. Pulling the both of them to his chest as they sobbed, he wrapped his arm safely around them. He looked at you and you followed in his steps.
-
After some time and explaining, Colt was comforting Falco while on the couch with Pieck doing the same on his other side. You had Zofia on your lap while she ate some Donuts you stashed away from Annie. Gabi was still clutching to Reiner with Udo on his other side doing the same.
Gabi would take a bite out of a donut, cry a bit then take another bite. Sometimes glancing at the red box on the table.
With time, reassuring words and Zeke making the kids laugh, things slowly got better. Reiner and you completely reassured them that you're never leaving, you love them more than anything in this world. That getting marriage is going to get you even more closer together than anything.
Hearing those words calmed Gabi down, each of them made you make a pinky promise to not replace them ever, same thing to Reiner.
That's when Bertolt brought up the fact you still haven't worn the ring, and it might make them feel better if they were the one to place it on your hand. And that seemed to grab their attention as they began arguing between themselves which one of them should do the honour.
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{ The Lanterns, circa 1910 by Charles Courtney Curran 1861-1942 }
Headcanons
Strap in because boi are we in for a ride. These kids went through a lot even in a modern non-war world
They all have an altered negative view on marriage, especially Gabi and Falco.
Both of Falco's parents are deceased, he lives alone with Colt who's trying his hardest to work and take care of both of them, of course Zeke and Pieck help a lot too and try to be his stand in parents.
He knows about love and how good it is, he just thinks marriage would mean you and Reiner might also go away.
Gabi's parents are alive and well, they're just rarely in her life. She's an alone child with no siblings, so far Reiner has been her only relative that she counts as family.
Her parents often leave her at her aunt's house whenever they go on a trip away, or as she started getting older, alone in the house. It gave her a lot of freedom but also a misguided and neglectful life.
Reiner has been trying to fill both roles of her parents for her, and when you came along it was like a dream coming true, she suddenly has someone who truly cares for her being and loves her unconditionally.
So when she heard you were getting married, something in her snapped and fears about you both leaving her too just like her parents clouded her mind.
Udo and Zofia both have their moms only, they bond over it. In Udo's case it was after his father passed away in an accident that his mother became really overprotective and Borderline overbearing.
She's worried about everything, he feels like it's his fault somehow and can't help but copy her anxiety and paranoia.
When he heard about you getting married, he felt a sting of pain and guilt, like he's getting in the way and it never was his real family to begin with.
Zofia's mom is another case, her dad left them when she was younger without a word. Her mother lost trust in anyone after that and was emotionally unavailable.
She saw how hurt her mother was over her dad, she wanted to be strong for her mom and never have to depend on anyone.
So when she heard you were getting married, a sense of dread filled her at realising one of you will hurt the other somehow and she will have to be strong on her own again.
The four of them looked up to you both, were loved and cherished by you both like they've longed for so long.
They fear losing you, they fear losing the warmth, love and care you showed them.
So take it slow with them please, they've been hurt a lot. They don't mean to be ungrateful or rude they're just kids who are terrfied.
Be paitent and slowly introduce them to marriage in a new light, let them grief over their own parents in a healthy way while comforting them. Make them feel included in the planning and wedding and everything and I promise you they'll be fighting for the flower girl spot at the wedding if you just take it slow and gentle.
Yes even Falco and Udo want to be the flower girl.
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natsukitakama · 3 years ago
Text
Headcanon : Reader being nice to Floch even though he is jerk
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Request : Well since Floch seem to be a type of guy who criticize people then how about he criticize s/o as well but instead of her getting offensive, she actually thank him for being honest since she’s a type of person who’s okay with criticism and also want the truth since some people usually don’t do it because they’ll feel bad that they know it’ll hurt people and that s/o is also a type of person who sees good on everyone including Floch even tho he seem like a jerk guy she still sees good on him and really curious in how would he react 👀
Author note : Hi there I’m sorry for taking so long, I needed some time of my own hope you’ll understand. I found your request quite interesting considering this part of his personality isn’t the most attractive. But still it’s part of who he is. Anyway hope you’ll enjoy this (to be honest I struggled to finish it lmao also yeah I'm trying a new way to present my post one day I'll be satisfied) 
Update : Because I got so much fun writing his reaction from a reader who is thanking him for his opinion while he was harsh on them. In this headcanon, they started as companion but then it would be imply that both of them are together or at least something is happening. Hope you’re fine with that. 
Warning : Cursing / Floch being a mean / mention of something that happened in season 3 but its vague 
Disclaimer :  Not because I’m writing about Floch means I understand what’s he done, I won’t accept his action but I still believe he wasn’t developed enough. I won’t accept any criticism because my anon asked for Floch or because I write for him. If you don’t like it then do not read it ♡ 
I got a headcanon that look like this so see this as the other version ♡ 
Masterlist 
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The way you seemed to always accept every criticism never felt to amaze Floch. No matter who criticizes you, you’re always acting like it wasn’t a big deal. Worst he even noticed that you were glad to be critized. His first thought when he discovered that you were taking different opinion with a smile was something like « what the fuck ? » 
How could you take negative though that easily ? What was your secret ? 
For weeks he strongly believed that you were acting tough but when you were alone, you were crying over each word you’ve been hit on. 
He wouldn’t be surprised I mean, everyone hates being criticized it’s part of our nature. 
But you weren’t like this, after weeks of believing you were a liar at pretending that critics didn’t affect you, he then discovered that in fact you were taking it with serenity. 
« It would help me to be a better a person » you once said to him
He didn’t get it. Like who do you think you are ?
Why aren’t you acting like Eren or Jean ? Why weren’t you angry at him ? Worst, why weren’t you defending yourself ? What was wrong with you ? 
The fact that you were smiling everytime he was mean to you was getting on his nerve. For fuck sake could you at least yell at him ? At least he’ll know you were human. 
He didn’t why but seeing you smiling at him, thanking him for his negative opinion got his sick. He could feel his stomach twisted as if he could throw because of your sympathy. Did you pity him ? 
He even once heard a conversation between you, Eren and his crew that makes him even more sick : 
« You know, you shouldn’t let him talk to you the way he did. This isn’t respectful. » 
« Eren is right, want me to teach him some manners ? If it’s for you i’ll do it » 
«  *chuckle* Thank you Mikasa but I don’t think it would be necessary. I mean yeah he got a way to say things - » 
« He is talking to you like you were shit » 
« I wouldn’t say it like this Eren but yeah you got a point. Y/N I know you saw good in everyone but you have to admit that recently he is being mean to you » 
« *sigh* As I was trying to say, yeah he is being mean with me but his opinion was actually good. I mean yeah I’ve been too slow during our training and yes I shouldn’t forgot to pack some gas with us. My point is he was right, he just got a way to talk to people » 
« Come on everyone makes mistake and it wasn’t like HE thought about taking Gas bottle too. He got some balls to says that » 
« Eren is right Y/N. » 
« But he was still right. I mean he forgot but I forgot too, if no one is meticulous in real battle it could be dangerous. Besides he is not as mean as everyone thinks. I can see it, there is good in him »
« Well he is doing a good job at hiding it. Remembered how he talked to Armin when he woke up ? That piss of sh- » 
« *sigh* Yeah he shouldn’t say it the way he did but you need to understand his point too. He was all alone with his friends and his commander which he used to worship by the way, he had to run with his friends knowing he would die either from stone or because he’ll be eaten by a Titan. For him Erwin was a hero, of course his first reaction was to want him to survive. Caporal Levi did it too, he wanted Erwin to survive he only have the injection because Erwin told him too. » 
«  Maybe. But I still believe this man has no education » 
« *chuckle* you used to be a little shit too when you first came, acting all cocky because you were about to kill titans but everyone looked through it and now we all love our precious angry soldier » 
Eren then proceed to grumble something about not being angry while everyone was laughing. How could you say that ? Why were you protecting him ? Did he ask you to protect him ? No ? Then why are you seeing all those things at him ? Why were you saying that he got a point when all he did was telling you how shitty you were. He was bullying you why were you nice to him ? 
The worst when he started to have a crush on you. Was he a sadist or something ? Why was he looking at you everytime you were training ? Why was he offended when someone compliment you ? You’re just in love bitch
Did he stop being mean at you ? No not at all, it would be out of character for him. BUT he started to be « gentle » about the way he critices you. For example he won’t told you that you suck at being a soldier because you were starting to feel tired because of the training instead he would scold you for not sleeping enough. 
See ? He still gives you critics and some time he is a bit harsh but now you’ve noticed (even though you already did) that he was actually carrying about you. 
So you started to thank him even more for his kind word, which disgust him. Why were you thanking him anyway ? 
At some point he stopped trying to figure out if you were a masochist or just silly, he keeps scolding you everytime you did something wrong and he just shrugs each time you were thanking him. 
But then you started to defend him even more, you weren’t just trying to justify his action by analyzing his behavior. 
Now you were arguing with people who were telling some shit about him which surprised him. Why do you care ?  He didn’t give a damn about some fools’ opinion nor should you. 
But here you were explaining your point, trying to make them understand that no he wasn’t just a jerk and there were something more important to get to know. He froze. 
« Come on Y/N don’t fool yourself Floch is a jerk have you seen him ? All he cares is himself. He is so fool of himself. Did you notice the way he is talking to you ? How could you defend someone like him ? » 
« Because he cares about him and because I care about him too. You asked if I noticed the way he was talking to me, I did. He stopped being mean at me, and started to give me advice to help me during my training. He noticed my lack of stamina and told me to practice and sleep better. He scold be for always forgetting something and now I’m careful. All he need was to help me, how am I supposed to avoid fight when you’re clearly misunderstanding him. He is someone good, you just need to get to know him » 
This time instead of feeling sick, he felt a little warm running into his body especially on his face. He felt … good ? He couldn’t explain it but yeah he felt right to hear you saying this even though he still didn’t understand why you were like this while you two barely talk together. 
He wanted to confront you about. 
Especially because he started to dream about you even more than before. That scene when you were defending him was keeping playing in his head, again and again. At this point you were always on his dream. Not that he will complain but he felt silly to be like this, like to him they were no way you were into him. 
So one day when you two were cleaning the training room, Floch decided it was now or never. So after closing the door to be in « peace », he walked into your direction. Step by step he noticed that he got trouble at taking a deep breath probably because he was scared or anxious. 
When he finally was in front of you, you noticed his frown and started to ask yourself what was wrong with him. He wasn’t so anxious, usually he came talk to you all cocky to correct you but now it was as if he was talking to Caporal Levi. 
« Are you okay ? » 
« Of course I am why wouldn’t I ? » 
« I don’t know you look like tense. Did I do something wrong ? » 
« Obviously yeah. I mean you’re always doing something wrong but that’s not why I’m here » 
«  Oh yeah ? » 
« Yeah. »
« Then ? »
« Then what ? » 
« Why are you here ? If you’re not here to scold me » 
«  I wanted to know why you’re acting so nice » 
«  I’m acting nice ? » 
« Yeah don’t play dumb to me. I heard you talking with Eren and that bunch of shitty friends also I saw you with those stupid soldiers talking dirty about me. Why were you defending me ? » 
« Why not ? I mean they are not angel either so I don’t see the point of being mean » 
« But i’am » 
« Excuse me ? » 
« You said there’s no point of being mean about someone but I’m mean. Especially with you I remember correctly telling you that you being a soldier was a shame for humanity » 
« Yeah that wasn’t nice by the way » 
« See ? You’re smiling ! Why is wrong with you ? » 
« What ? Because I can’t smile ? » 
« No ! Not when I’m being mean at you that completely strange » 
« Well then I’m a weirdo I guess » 
« Okay I’m done I knew I couldn’t get anything from you » 
«  I’m sorry but I don’t see what’s wrong with my behavior ? » 
« You can’t smile when someone is saying bad things about you » 
« Why not ? You’re being honest. » 
« But it’s mean » 
« Yeah and ? At least you’re not trying to be nice with me when in fact you can’t stand me. I hate hypocrite I prefer when people are honest with me. Besides as I said before your critics were interesting it helps me getting better so I don’t see why I would be mad at me » 
«  I don’t get it I’m sorry, even if it helps you. You could at least slap me for being mean at you » 
« Do you want me to spank you Floch ? » 
«  I- I say slap me and not like this I-I oh my god I can’t » 
«  *laugh* but you’re the one talking about slapping I’m sorry I didn’t know it was your thing I’ll take it in mind » 
« YOU … Wait are you making fun of me ? » 
« Maybe ? » 
Then you just laugh and finish your duty, leaving a completely frozen Floch. 
You’re kinda broke him, he didn’t know how to behave with you anymore. 
Should he be glad because you’re not angry at him for being a jerk ? Or should he be concerned because you figure out something he didn’t want to admit ? 
Again, he started to be less a jerk around you. But you noticed that it worked only for you. Floch was still… Floch around other people. He just tends to be soft with you, he stopped scolding you and in fact correct you each time you were doing a wrong move. And when you were loosing or forgetting something, he just gave you what you needed without complaining. 
People were surprised, like they weren’t used to see Floch not acting like a jerk. They also didn’t understand why you weren’t treated like everyone else. Some of them got their theory but for now all they could notice was Floch not being as mean as usual with you while you were acting nice with him. For both of you that’s all matter 
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bibbawrites · 4 years ago
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In Charge - Charlie Gillespie x Older Reader (PART 2 - SMUT - 18+)
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THIS IS PART 2 TO DOES YOUR MOTHER KNOW! READ PART ONE HERE!
Request: hardcore smut with dirty talk for Charlie // thigh riding charlie
Word Count: 1293 words
Summary: spending the night with Charlie goes a little different than you’d imagined
Warnings: dom/sub themes (dom!reader, sub!charlie), praise kink, dirty talk, swearing, kink exploration, s*x (obviously), light bondage, thigh riding 
A/N: not gonna lie this is literally just porn with plot 😂 basically no storyline just smut, and i’m not even sorry about it (i am sorry that its not super long tho, i just didnt feel like i could add anything else?) as i mentioned in the first one, the reader can be any age you want as long as she’s older than 22, i mentioned that she was 30 but it’s up to you also sorry for the super awkward ending, i didnt know how to end it lol 
Tag List: @happinessinthedarkesttimes​ @littlemissaddict @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @headheartbellarke @lovesanimals​ @bartok-the-bat @juliefromaustralia @multi-universe21 @rangerelik 
You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment that you and Charlie had begun to make your way into your bedroom, just like you couldn’t exactly pinpoint when you had both gotten undressed, Charlie fully and you only left in your lace panties.
All you knew was that somehow you had the boy who had been following you around with puppy eyes for months, laying on your bed, spread out, as naked as the day he was born.
And somehow you were in charge.
You’d never properly explored your desire to dominate someone before, but the way that Charlie was looking up at you with hopeful eyes, basically begging you to make a move, you figured you were about to get a very quick lesson in it.
You looked at the boy on your bed, and he pouted slightly, causing you to grin. 
“Are you sure you want this?” You checked. Charlie nodded eagerly. 
“I’m positive.” He confirmed. 
“Okay.” You nodded, heading over to your wardrobe and grabbing out a silk scarf, spinning around with it in your hands. 
Charlie’s eyes lit up. 
“Yes.” He said quickly. You raised an eyebrow. 
“You don’t even know what I’m gonna do with it.”
“I don’t care. Tie me up, blindfold me, gag me. I’ll be content with anything.” He begged. 
“Jeez.” You muttered under your breath. What were you getting yourself into? “Okay, what would you prefer?” 
Charlie hesitated for a second. 
“Tie me up? Please?” His voice was quiet and you smiled, walking over to the bed and grabbing his wrists. You looped the scarf around his wrists before tying them to the post in the middle of your headboard. 
“Does that feel okay?” You questioned, and he tugged experimentally before nodding. 
Now was the time for the real fun. You lent down to kiss him, hesitating slightly. 
“If you want me to stop at any point, just say...” You trailed off, glancing around your room. Your eyes landed on a painting of a watermelon. You turned back to Charlie. 
“Just say watermelon, okay?” You told him and he nodded. 
“I promise.” He said, before pushing himself up as best as he could to connect your lips with his in yet another heated kiss. 
Your tongue slipped into his mouth and he moaned. Spurred on by his reaction you flung your leg over him and straddled his waist, deepening the kiss when you felt his hard dick pressed against your panties. 
You grinded down onto his dick and Charlie gasped into your mouth. You pulled away slightly, grinning at how fucked he already looked. 
“You like that baby?” You teased. “You want me to do that again?” 
“Please.” He begged, and you repeated your actions before, watching as he threw his head back at the feeling of pleasure. 
“If you keep doing that I’m gonna cum.” He warned you. You smirked, grinding into him even harder. 
“Y/N.” He whimpered. You reached out to run a hand through his messy hair. 
“Come on baby, cum for me.” You instructed and he released with a moan, cum coating his stomach. You swiped some up with your finger, before sucking it off as Charlie watched with wide eyes. 
“Hmm you know what I want to do?” You asked, lifting your hips up. You shifted backwards slightly, positioning yourself with his thigh between your legs. 
“I think I’m gonna ride this pretty thigh of yours.” You started to move your hips, your stomach fluttering at the feeling of pleasure caused by the friction and you watched as his dick began to harden again, and you almost grinned at his impressive stamina.  
“I want you to.” Charlie told you, finally finding his voice again and you smiled gently as you continued to grind against his thigh. 
“You’re such a good boy, letting me do what I want.” You complimented. Charlie bit his lip. 
“Anything.” He said, his voice almost a whimper. You raised an eyebrow. 
“Anything?” You repeated and Charlie nodded quickly. 
“Take anything you want, I’m all yours.” He told you. You couldn’t believe this was the same boy who annoyed the shit out of his cast mates, and flirted with you until he was blue in the face, now a whimpering mess underneath you. 
“Such a good boy.” You praised, and he blushed slightly. 
“Y/N.” He whined, and you grinded down into him harder. 
“Yes baby?” You asked. He hesitated. 
“Could you please ride me?” He questioned, his voice small. You lent down and kissed him gently. 
“Have you been a good boy?” You muttered against his lips. He nodded. 
“Yes I promise I have been.” He babbled. You smiled, kissing him again. 
“Then I guess I can reward you by riding you.” You agreed. 
“Thank you.” He said quickly and you kissed his cheek before sitting back up. 
“First things first.” You said, climbing off him to remove your panties. 
“We start the scene in reverse.” He mumbled and you giggled. You pulled open your top drawer, grabbing out a condom. You tore the packet open before turning back to Charlie and grabbing his dick, rolling the condom on. 
Once it was on you climbed back on top of him, kissing him again. 
“You ready?” You asked. He nodded, and you slid onto his dick slowly, making sure not to hurt yourself. 
Once you were fully adjusted you lifted your hips slightly before giving an experimental drop back down onto his dick. 
Charlie moaned, and your stomach fluttered. There was no way you were going to last much longer if he kept making noises like that. 
You lifted up again and slid back down, repeating your actions to set a steady rhythm. He lifted his head slightly and you lent down, sucking a bruise into his neck. 
“So everyone knows tomorrow on set that you’re mine.” You told him, kissing the red skin gently. He whimpered. 
“All yours.” He told you. You connected your lips, moaning into his mouth when you felt him slam his hips up. 
“Do that again.” You demanded, and he obeyed, thrusting his hips up to match your movements. His dick hit your g-spot and you could feel your orgasm rapidly approaching. 
“Right there baby.” You told him. “I’m so close.” 
He thrusted again and you moaned loudly. 
“One more baby, you’re doing so good.” You praised. 
He thrusted again and you felt yourself fall over the edge, cumming as he thrusted up. The feeling of your walls clenching around him was enough to send Charlie over the edge for his second orgasm. 
You rode out your highs together, and then after a long kiss you lifted off him gently. 
You rolled the condom off him, tying it off before tossing it into the bin next to your desk, before you turned your attention back to Charlie. 
Quickly you sat back down onto the bed, untying his hands and placing gentle kisses on his slightly red wrists. 
“Stay here.” You instructed, walking into your bathroom. You quickly went to the toilet, in attempt to avoid getting a UTI, before grabbing a facewasher and soaking it in warm water. 
Entering your room again you approached Charlie, who still hadn’t moved on your bed, and you gently cleaned the cum off his stomach and dick. 
“You okay?” You questioned softly. He nodded. 
“Exhausted.” He admitted. “Come snuggle?” 
You placed the damp facewasher on your desk, before climbing onto your bed next to Charlie. 
“How does a quick nap before dinner sound?” You asked and he nodded sleepily, snuggling into your side. You wrapped your arms around him and pressed a soft kiss to his head. 
“Goodnight Char, sweet dreams.” You whispered, but it was too late. 
He was already fast asleep in your arms. 
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ameliasbitvh · 3 years ago
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ahhhh! thank you all soso much for the 300 followers! i just hit 200 last week?! how are there 300 of you? i honestly don’t know, but i started this account as a place to just read smut and then i decided to post on here. the reason why my first post was angst was because i was being a slut for angst to feel something in those few moments- okay i’ll stop myself right there. for this milestone i’m going to do mutual appreciation for the moots i’ve interacted with the most so far! (if we’re moots and u wanna interact pls do, i’m not scary!)
okayy first up,
@underappreciated-spoon-321
i love you so much bby, i could not believe it when you followed me. i was legit crying happy tears and i specifically remember you followed me after i posted “needy” random lol.
your writing is immaculate, absolutely lovely. ur smut *chefs kisses* i love that you put up with my shit photos that i send you and that you actually ask for more- but it baffled me when you first interacted with me, this was my reaction
*deep breath* “omfg! (ur username) just interacted with me, wtf do i do?!” also ur nick name reminds me of belly from dear, draco.
i’m not writing a lot, bc for your sleepover i wrote you a damn paragraph 😭 but i love u sm belly!! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩
@dracoskinks
ARI! i love talking to you, bc i can talk about anything and when i say anything i mean anything. like kinks, porn, random draco scenarios, etc… you are one of the funniest people i have seen on this app.
ur blunt and funny at the same time, it just makes it more fun to talk to you. ur smut is soso good, bc i don’t find a lot of smut with a dom!reader and sub!draco.
i remember you followed me, so out of curiosity i checked out your blog and saw your piss kink fic and that did it for me. after that i followed you back and we became moots ajnwja. when ur first account got terminated you scared me so fucking much, because i thought you were going to leave tumblr forever. don’t. ever. play. like. that. again. i’m glad we became moots bc i fucking love you <3
@opalsheart
I LOVE YOU SM! i think u were the first moot that i interacted with in direct messages, bc you had tea to spill, and ever since than we’ve been #4lifers. you send me edits and hate on t*m felton with me on instagram. you were the first mutual to know what i looked like lmaoo. u r an absolute goddess, bestie, like what- i know that you can pull anyone you want, so stop playing when you talk about someone.
even though we have a fucking 12 hour time difference, we still find time to talk to each other. it is so fun talking with you and the fact that when we talk it’s night for one of us. you let me send that stupid tik tok of ed sheeran and t*m felton to you and it probably haunts your dreams now ajnwajsj-
i appreciate that you study ur MF ass off for your exams, bc i could never. and you even send me those cute memes when i wake up- also we better be watching those true crime documentaries, bc i’m still waiting. idc if we have a time difference :) anyways ILY SM ELLIE !! <3
@laceycallisto
okay- where do i even get started with this. we first interacted when i reblogged that draco fan fic and we reblogged talking about how desperate we were trying to find that iconic fic. and i forgot that the creator could see all the reblogging we were doing- you texted me directly about adding my name into your tags, which obviously i agreed to. then we just started talking about random shit like how we were superior because we were june geminis. or how we talked about being in love with remus lupin.
i have vivid flash backs of how your remus fic hurt me. i cried my false lashes off proof reading janajaj- bestie- you’ve seen me cry ajnwja- your writing is ethereal, i don’t know how you can see that? your so nice too, like girly u gave me ur netflix within like a day of knowing each other 💀 we watched bridgerton in two mother fucking sittings. we ate that bridgerton hoe up!
all ur input on the scenes were so funny like the “with child” and “dicking” comments 😭 i love how it’s so easy to talk to you about everything, like how dumb i am- even talking about the privilege of being poc and not burning in the sun. bruh u even let me tag u in dumb tik tok videos, like what?! and i think your the only mutual i have that’s in the same time zone as me… also we better binge the next season. but ily sm, ur like my older sister, even if u say ur life is shitty 😭 <3
@dracomalfoys-wh0re
honestly, kacia. i owe a lot to you for my account being “found” or whatever, bc you reblogged a fic of mine, i’m pretty sure it was “common room” and that’s when i started getting notes and followers najajwjwj- you might not know that but i do 💀 i will forever remember that.
you literally were one of the first accounts ever- to follow me. and i won’t lie, i went crazy when u followed me because i love your fics so much! you are so funny and blunt too i swear 😭
and can we talk about your tom riddle fic? like?!the fact that you really showed tom’s true personality and character. every world had me enthralled further into the fic, the way you wrote him is exactly how i think tom riddle would act towards his s/o. his toxicity and gaslighting is too accurate.
moving on from the discussion of your fic, which is amazing, ily sm babe!!
@yoooespinosa
we’ve interacted a few times and when u texted me directly saying that you thought i was sweet, i literally went, “omg- people think i’m sweet” in a good way, not bad jkwajjw- can i just get started on your writing, because oh. my. fucking. god. it is the most captivating and heart breaking thing i’ve ever seen- the emotions that you put into every word completes the entire fic. every angst piece that you have written, made me cry or made something inside me just twist with sadness. it is truly lovely and magnificent.
how do ur fics not get thousands of notes? because everyone should see what you write, it’s unfair that others haven’t seen your fics. when u explained your dream to me, i swear you practically wrote a whole fic 😭
i remember u said that you wanted to do a face reveal, but we’re scared. bestie what are you scared of? you look like an ANGEL!! and if anyone were to disagree, they are obviously blind. but ily bestie <3
@o-rion-sta-r
BESTIE BAE ORION i love you so much!interacting with you is honestly so fun. and i remember like literally yesterday we were trying to figure out ari’s time zone and we were freaking out. you, ari, and me all have a fucking time difference 😭 it sucks so much!
at least every day you ask me how my days been and i think that’s so sweet, because before i got on tumblr people didn’t ask that question. i appreciate that you ask me that and just random questions in general, because i love interacting with you so much. and you should start writing bby! i will reblog anything you write, also ily sm <3
@ilygw
we don’t talk a lot, but you seem like a fun person! i love seeing all the edits you post on here, bc honestly i need more ferret boy content. i know there is a lot, but i feel like i’ve seen all of them. until i see you posting a new edit and i’m like, “okay… i guess i haven’t seen every draco edit” but that’s all i have lol, ly!!
@arcaneslut
to be honest, you seemed so intimidating to me. i know you said you’re not, but to me you seemed really scary even though i knew you weren’t 😭 i just interacted with you recently and you are so sweet i swear! i love all ur fics, especially “and then i felt nothing” because when i read this fic you better believe i was crying so hard- to the point where i couldn’t breath- everything was written so beautifully, i couldn’t believe it.
i love how one thing we share in common is losing our phones 💀 but i just wanted to say thank you for explaining the whole sleepover and celebration things to me! even tho we just started interacting i already love u!!
moots bc i’m in love with all of them: @just-a-smol-spoon @dreamy-clousds @dracoskinks @unedibledaisyduck @thatsassyhufflepuff @a-aexotic @l0vely-lupin @gothboutique @wolfstar4lifee @littlemissnoname13 @deatthfairy @arcaneslut @ladyvesuvia @laceycallisto @dracossweetprincess @the-lonely-poet-loves-to-weep @realityblocked @harmqnia @yoooespinosa @opalsheart @lilscloud @cupids-crystals @mellifluousart @lunas-kisses @malfoysmainb @klauscarolove @crystxlss @beforeoursunsets @marrymetheonott @queeriacs @electriclocean @dlmmdl @o-rion-sta-r @sfdlm @ilygw @desiredmalfoy @underappreciated-spoon-321 @draco-and-tom @hellounicorn @mugglesthesedays @dracomalfoys-wh0re
if i didn’t tag u it’s bc i can’t tag more than 50 blogs :(
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vodfives · 4 years ago
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I just read the Defenders of the republic book which is basically the novelization of Clone Cadets, Rookies and ARC Troopers. It’s a kids book but I found it for 3€ on eBay so I just decided to get it hoping that I’ll get some more information about the Domino squad. And well I never thought a kids book would hurt me that much. I thought I could just talk about a few things I noticed in case you haven’t read it.
Changes
They did change a few things some minor some bigger. However I did read the German version so some of the changes might just be the translation
The biggest changes are that Colt’s and 99’s death aren’t in the book. 99 still dies but they just removed the scene where it happened. Kinda funny that they had to remove scenes from a ‘kids’ show to make the book kid friendly
Remember when Droidbait calls Fives by his CT number and he corrects him? Well in the book Droidbait struggles to remember the numbers of his brothers. Yep apparently he struggles to remember Fives’ number. Anyway he says his number correct once but then starts saying it again but Fives interrupts him saying he can just call him Fives because of all the 5s in his number. And while Fives explaining his name is kinda funny I’m pretty sure that they changed that scene to explain Fives’ name to the German kids who can’t speak English yet (but I’d need someone with the English book to confirm that)
They changed Droidbait’s CT number. And I have no idea why. It doesn’t make sense at all especially because all the other CT numbers are right
Some quotes were given to the wrong Domino squad member. That only happened a few times tho
Bric calls Cutup a clown. Wich I think is hilarious but it’s probably just to explain Cutup’s name. But anyway that quote aged incredibly well
The last battle in ARC troopers is described a bit different
Details
Now the most important part and the reason I got the book. I hoped I would find small details that aren’t in the show so I can gather all the information I can find about my favorite character. And the book didn’t disappoint.
It’s Fives who says “Next stop ARC troopers” and Cutup is the one who says “How about we face some combat first”
Apparently Hevy wants to punch Echo when he suggested that they can learn something from Bravo squad
When Droidbait was shot they were supposed tho shield him from the droids so someone can check on him. That’s the protocol and that’s also why they failed
Cody gives Fives his blaster in rookies
Fives, Echo, Hevy and Cutup stare at the dead bodies of NUB and Droidbait because even though they knew from training that situations like that would happen they still weren’t prepared for it. Kinda obviously but seeing it actually write out does hit different
All the other details are quite depressing. Echo reflects on Hevy’s death. He thinks about how different they were at first and how it was difficult t to believe that they had the same DNA. That they didn’t like each other at first but became friends. And how Hevy taught Echo a lot on the Rishi moon, like how to be a good leader. Echo then decided to keep Hevy’s best traits (Yep they managed to make that scene even sadder)
Fives is the one who says “thanks to Hevy” when they see the separatists are on the run (I think you can’t really tell in the show)
Echo and Fives realized after the Rishi moon what it meant to be brothers. So my guess is that is when they got really close
There is a deleted scene of ARC troopers where Echo and Fives have to load boxes onto LAATs (it’s on YouTube if you don’t know it yet). Apparently they often were assigned to to take care of supplies when they had free time. Because that job was so boring Fives decided to start telling jokes because it reminded him of being back on Kamino with the Domino Squad. But he’s also bad at it because Echo just stares empty at him saying “it was Cutup who was good with jokes not you”
When 99 asks them about Hevy Fives doesn’t know what to say at first. He then thinks about how the chance to loose his life is just part of being a clone but that they usually try not to talk about it. Echo then continues the explanation but keeps it short because he doesn’t want to relieve the painful experience again. This is just really sad because of all the things it implies. I’ll probably make a separate post about it because I have a lot of thoughts about this. But yeah I’m sad now.
I would definitely recommend getting the book if you find it for cheap. It’s fun to read and the cover is pretty cool too so it’s a fine addition to your collection
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all-my-love-for-harry · 4 years ago
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Not the future you want.
summary: You don’t want kids and that’s a deal breaker for Harry, until it isn’t.
word count: 3.3k
warnings: angst, happy ending tho.
a/n: long time no see!! I missed writing for y’all SO much but lately i’ve been so busy, here’s a little something i wrote after finishing all my homework, please tell me what you think!
You can find the rest of my masterlist here.
///
Y/n didn't know how they got here.
Not even ten minutes ago they were wrapped around the covers of Harry's bed after making love, both still naked and sweaty from the previous activities. Harry was showering her with kisses all over her face, paying special attention to her nose and lips. The silence that covered them was comfortable, warm.
Right now all she felt was cold, iced silence filling the room as Harry stared at her with startled eyes. Suddenly, the once safe space they had to feel comfortable being naked in front of the other, was long gone and replaced with an awkwardness in the air. Y/n pulled the covers up to her chest, sitting down on the bed as she watched Harry do the same.
"What did you say?" He said. Although he heard it the first time she said it, he wished with all his being there was some kind of misunderstanding and he got it all wrong.
"Are you upset?" She asked cautiously. "Because you sound upset."
"No, I'm... Fuck, Y/n, I'm not upset." He passed a hand through his face. "Excuse me for being a little offended you don't want kids with me."
"I don't want kids with anyone, Harry." She said, growing upset. "Don't take it personally." Y/n started to look for her clothes that currently were laying on the floor, knowing what was going to come.
"But... baby, why? wouldn't it be nice to have mini us running around?" He sounded out of breath like someone just kicked him right in the stomach. He figured he could at least try to convince her otherwise. "Imagine how cute our babies will look. They'd have your adorable nose, maybe my eyes..."
"H, I'm sorry... kids have never been in my plans, it isn't something that I want." She said slowly, not knowing how Harry will take it.
"Wouldn't you willing to at least try?"
Sighing, she shook her head. "I don't want to do that to my body. I've worked so hard to look the way I do and, honestly? Pregnancy takes a toll on you both mentally, and physically and I don't want that." Y/n got out of the bed dragging the covers with her as she grabbed her clothes and started to get dressed.
At that moment Harry didn't know that, what came out of his mouth next, would either save his relationship or end it for good. "That's so... shallow." He practically spat.
"Yeah? Try carrying a human being inside of you for nine months!"
"If I could I'd do it since you're being this selfish!"
"Am I being selfish?! Listen to yourself! I don't owe you any explanation regardless of what I want and don't want to do with my body!" She finished putting her clothes on, silently thanking herself for wearing a dress and make it easier to get dressed in between all this mess. "I am not a baby machine, Harry. I don't exist just to get pregnant and be a fucking mother. If you want a baby so badly, then find someone who does as well!"
"But I love you!" He said, not realizing he was being childish.
"Then we can get a pet! It's the same responsibility."
"I can't believe you just compared a human being to a pet, Y/N! Don't be so stupid!" He threw his hands in the air.
"I honestly don't know what you want me to tell you." Y/n crossed her arms across her chest. "I'm sorry that you feel that way but I'm not changing my mind. I understand if..."
"I need time to... think."
"H..." She tried taking a step closer to him, but he backed off.
"Leave, please."
She didn't know if that was going to be the end of their relationship, and she hoped it wasn't. However, guessing by the look on Harry's face, this was it.
//
Harry's been miserable. He thought he'd only feel like these the first months after breaking up with Y/n but as the fifth month rolled in, he realized there was no way he'd ever get her out of his head... and out of his heart.
Even though he stopped crying in the shower in month three, he was still unable to go to the same places he used to go with her, his heart hurting too much for all the memories that hit him right in the face as he walks into the coffee shop they used to go to every Friday, or the place on the park they used to sit on after buying ice cream from the lovely old man who always gave Y/n a flower. He was slowly losing his mind and everyone around him could tell exactly what was happening. He missed Y/n.
The problem was, he took way too long to realize he made a mistake, probably the most tremendous one of his entire life. He couldn't stop thinking that, if he answered those calls he declined from her, the love of his life would most likely be wrapped around a blanket in his living room, watching the notebook for the millionth time as they cuddled closer and closer to each other. She always let Harry chose the movie, despite she always knew what his choice would be and although she used to get bored at the movie, after a few times watching it with Harry, she grew to like it.
That was who she is. She's always pleasing everyone else, often growing upset when she can get the people around her what they wanted. And that included Harry. She used to put him and whatever he wanted first, always. If Harry wanted to go out, they'd go out. If he wanted to stay in, they'd stay in. And deep down, Harry knew that the reason why he lashed out at her he way he did seven months ago, it was because he knew Y/n wouldn't be able to fulfill the one dream he wanted the most. Or at least, the dream he thought he wanted the most because when his anger went down and he was able to see clearly, he realized there wasn't anything in this world he wanted more than to be with her, and that if he ever went and married another woman just to be a father, that baby wouldn't be half the love of his life, therefore nothing would be perfect and his life wouldn't be as happy as he was when he was with Y/n.
"You have to get out of bed, H." Gemma said as she opened the curtains of the bedroom, making him let out a groan. "Although you're an asshole, it hurts me to see you like this."
"Thanks for the pep talk, Gem." His words came out muffled as his face was still pressed to the pillow. The one from the side Y/N used to sleep on.
"That wasn't a pep talk, knobhead." She sat at the edge of the bed. "I'm just tired of seeing you like this, Har. You fucked up, stop mopping around and own your mistake."
"She hates me."
"She has every reason to," Harry gave her a dirty look. "but, I don't think she does. You know her, she loved you more than anything."
"Yeah, she really did." Harry's eyes filled with a new wave of tears and he choked a sob. "I was so wrong, Gem. I can't believe I yelled at her the way I did." He cried. "I had the love of my life and I made her leave." Now he sobbed.
His sister sighed. Although it was very clear who's fault was, she couldn't help but feel bad for his baby brother. Everyone could see how happy they made each other, always saying they were it for the other. And they were true. That was, of course, until Harry fucked up.
"I'm telling you this because I love you," She started. "You have to move on. It's been five months, H. You made it very clear you both wanted different things, and that's okay. But you have to accept that."
"I don't mean it anymore!"
"It doesn't matter. You meant it back then, and you're not gonna change anything staying in bed and crying all day."
"You're right." He suddenly sat up, pulling the cover off of him. "I should go see her."
"No, that's not-"
"You're a genius, Gem." Harry cupped her face and gave her an obnoxious kiss on the cheek.
"Ew!"
"I will get her back!" He jumped out of the bed and trotted to his walk-in closet, stripping out of his pajamas and into whatever pants and shirt he found. "I'll apologize and she will understand, right?"
"Baby brother, I think you're being a little too optimistic." Gemma stood up and walked towards him. "Don't be stupid, an 'I'm sorry' will not fix anything. Also, you don't even know where to find her, or how is she... or who she's with." Harry narrowed his eyes at her. "What? You have to consider all the options."
"I check her Instagram every day, she's not dating anyone."
"She can hide posts and stories from you, dumbass." She crossed her arms. "And every day? Creep."
Harry sticks his tongue out at her. "I also check her friend's profiles, believe me, she's single. And I'm gonna win her back."
"Harry," Gemma started, but he was already out of the run and running down the stairs. "Wait! Where are you going?"
"To her house!" He yelled back from the bottom of the stairs, grabbing his keys.
"Hang on, I'll take you!"
"What, really?" He stopped his tracks, turning around to face his sister.
"If you suffer from humiliation, I have to videotape it." She smirked, grabbing her purse and opening the front door.
"You're horrible."
"Chop, chop! Let's go, Romeo."
//
"I..." Hiccup. "I hate..." Hiccup. "... Men." Hiccup. "But I love you, Nolan."
"Alright, It's three in the afternoon, Y/n/n. Cut the tequila."
"What?!" She gasped. "It's never too early for tequila." She raised her finger at her best friend.
"C'mon, darling. Let's get you into the shower. Hannah should be here soon too."
"I love you guys." She said as Nolan practically carried her up the stairs and to her bedroom. "And I love Harry."
He sighed, finally entering the room, sitting Y/n on her bed where he immediately collapsed. "I know you do, sweetheart. Now, I want you in the bathroom."
She groaned, extending her hands at him. Nolan rolled his eyes but grabbed her hands to pull from her. He didn't know how she managed to get this drunk at three o'clock, but then again after five months of pretending to be okay, a breakdown was meant to happen sooner or later.
"You're the bestest friend ever."
"Mhm, repeat that when you're sober." Closing the door behind him, he helped her take her clothes off.
"Is Marcus mad at me because you left him to come here?" She asked, pouting. Marcus was Nolan's boyfriend.
"Of course not, don't be silly. He wants to take you out tonight though."
"Yes! Thousand times yes. Count. Me. In."
"What you want is your head on the toilet all night, don't you?" Y/N stepped into the shower but let out a squeal when she felt the cold water hit her skin.
"Let me out, let me out."
"Nope, we need to sober you up so you stay there." He leaned on the wall, waiting for her with a towel in his hands.
After a quick shower, Nolan wrapped her in the fluffy towel and left the room to go downstairs, he figured Y/n could handle herself for a bit while he waited for Hannah to arrive with food. He hasn't seen her this drunk since the day she and Harry broke up, so she still had a lot to let out.
There was a knock on the door and Nolan hurried to open it, thinking Hannah was finally here. To his surprise, instead of their blonde friend being there with loads of food for them to eat, Harry Styles was waiting on the other side of the door, holding the biggest bouquet of pink roses he's ever seen before.
"No, handsome. Go back to where you came from."
"C'mon, Nolan. Is she home?"
"Nope." Nolan crossed his arms, trying to look more intimidating. "She's out there, living her best life."
"Then why are you here?"
The blonde man opened his mouth then closed it again. "None of your business. Look, Harry, let it go. Do you seriously think showing up here five months after with a huge bouquet of flowers will magically fix everything?"
"I need to talk to Y/n, please. I-I messed up, okay? I was horrible to her and I know it, but I want to make it right."
He sighed. "Right now is not a good time, trust me." Harry frowned. "Do you want my advice? Move on."
With that, he closed the door on his face and returned to the living room. He was not going to allow his best friend to get her heart broken all over again over a pair of pretty eyes.
//
"When you said we'd be going out, I thought you meant to get fucked up, not to sing karaoke." Y/N said as she took a long sip of her drink, resting her cheek on her palm.
"Who says we can't do both here? Besides, I'll be fun." Marcus said.
"I don't sing, my loves. I came for the alcohol." Hannah finished her drink and stood up to walk to the bar to get another one.
"You're alcoholics, both of you."
"I call it, drown in your own sorrow."
"Cheers for that."
After a few rounds, Nolan was up serenading Marcus, completely out of key but no one cared since they were all already a little bit tipsy. Y/N was having a great time with her friends, completely forgetting the reason why she got drunk at three in the afternoon. No one knew what she did to not be hungover right now, but nonetheless, they were glad she was there having fun too.
That was until Nolan noticed Harry walk into the bar.
"Pst, Han." He whispered. "Wait ten seconds then turn around."
She did what he said. "Oh, so he did come."
"Wait, what?!" he whispered-yelled.
"I told him we'd be here." She shrugged.
"Why the hell would you do that?"
"Because they need to talk." Nolan rolled his eyes. "Cut the crap, you know I'm right. Y/n deserves an apology and Harry has one, easy peasy."
"You forgot the part where he broke her heart."
"Hey, I'm not defending him. However, they're crazy for each other and unless they talk things out, we'll have our best friend become an alcoholic."
"What are you two gossiping about?" Y/n said, returning to the table after going to the bathroom.
"About how I need another drink!" Hannah exclaimed.
"Ugh, me too. I'll go this time." She got up again.
"Wait!" Nolan grabbed her hand but Hannah kicked him under the table, making him groan.
"Are you okay?"
"Uh, yes. Can you bring me one too?"
"I got you, babes."
She walked to the bar while humming the song someone was singing up there. "Oop." Y/n tripped over her own feet but before she could fell face down on the floor, someone wrapped a hand around her forearm. "Oh, thank you..." She looked up to see the stranger who saved her and her breath hitched when she saw him. "Harry."
"Hey, love."
"What... how-? Wait, don't call me love!" She crossed her arms, annoyed.
"Y/n, wait, please. We need to talk."
"Oh, no, no. We-" She signaled the space between them. "Have nothing to talk about."
"Listen to me, please. I know you don't have to, and I know that I was horrible and behaved like a proper dick five months ago, but I want to apologize to you, I'm begging you."
She sighed. She looked into his eyes and saw a flash of hurt and regret, his hair also looked a mess and he looked like he hasn't shaved in a while. Maybe he's been feeling as bad as her. Deep down, she hoped he has.
"Five minutes, then I'm gone."
Harry wasted no time and pulled her towards the bathrooms, entering the ladies one and double-checking it was empty before locking the door. "First of all, you have no idea how much I've missed you." She opened her mouth, probably to throw a sarcastic comment but he interrupted her. "Let me finish, please. Last time I saw you... I wasn't nice, at all. I lashed out at you for no reason, honestly. You were right, I've got no say in whatever you want to do with your body. I was a brat and I was mad at... honestly, I don't know what I was mad about. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize this, but I don't need anyone else if I have you, Y/n. You're the love of my life and-" He grabbed her hands. "I love you with my whole heart. If kids isn't something you want, then we don't need it, baby."
"Harry, you don't know what you're talking about."
"Excuse me?"
"You love kids! I know you've always wanted to be a father, and you'll be a great one, one day. You deserve to have the future you've always dreamt of having." She offered him a tiny smile. "I'm not the future that you want, H."
"Y/n, listen to me, you're my dream. You, no one else."
"If we stayed together, one day you're gonna wake up and realize you missed your opportunity of having a family of your own and you're gonna hate me forever."
"Of course not." He said, offended. "How could you say that? I could never, never hate you. I'd hate my life if you weren't in it."
"We want different things. And despite me knowing that, I still walked into this relationship because I was selfish. Selfish because I thought you... you would change your mind."
"You're the most selfless person I've ever known, my love. You're not selfish, I'm an asshole. I didn't listen to you because I always want everything to be my way. But we're a team, we got each other. We don't need anything else."
At this point, Harry was ready to drop on his knees and beg for forgiveness. He was trying so hard to not start sobbing right there, but Y/n looked like she's made up her mind and he felt like his heart was breaking more and more as the minutes passed. He didn't know what else to say to convince her to be with him, and that terrified him.
"I don't know..."
"Please, give me one more chance. Please, baby."
Y/n was really trying to think this through. On one hand, she missed him more than anything, and she's been miserable these past months without her, no matter how much she tried to put on a happy face for everyone around her. On the other hand, she felt like she needed to let Harry go so he could be happy with someone else, someone who shared the same dreams and plans as him. Her blood boiled at the last part, feeling jealous of even thinking about Harry, his Harry, being with someone else.
She had him right in front of her on a silver plate, ready to rebuild their relationship because he loved her too much to let her go.
"I really missed you." She finally collapsed into his arms, holding him tightly. "And I'm so scared of losing you."
"You're not gonna lose me. Not now, not ever. You're stuck with me, okay?" He cupped her cheeks, looking at her straight in the eye. Her eyes were filled with tears but a little smile was forming on her face. "My pretty baby. I love you so so much and I'm so excited to spend my life with you."
"I love you too, I can't wait to be with you forever."
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crybabykiko · 4 years ago
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I just came across you nsfw with Osamu and I really enjoyed it I was wondering if You could do one for Kita?
Hi love! This is for u 💕 and all the kita fuckers worldwide- myself included bc I’m in love with him now 🥺
NSFW Alphabet - Kita Shinsuke
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Nsfw below da cut g
gn!reader focus in this hoe
A/n: ty @honey-makki for being my partner in degeneracy and my wife ilysm bc she can read when I can’t
𝕬 - 𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊
Will feed you a full meal. His way of making sure you’re cared for is keeping you well fed. He will cuddle you and spoon feed you himself if he has to, as long as you eat every single bite. He has a routine for everything, aftercare is no exception. He runs you a bath, then, while you soak, he cooks. Will make sure to throw a hoodie in the dryer before heading to the kitchen so it'll be warm for you post shower. Then he feeds you and holds you, playing with your hair or your hands until you fall asleep.
𝕭 - 𝕭𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙
You already know what the fuck is going onnnn! Kita is honestly so well sculpted that it really doesn’t matter but let’s talk about his back/shoulders. He’s so mf broad and it's very sexc of him. He’s also very fond of when you cling onto and scratch it up…. delicious
He loves your hands. He loves to hold them, especially when he’s looking straight into your eyes as he drills the hell out of you- he’ll lift one up and kiss it bc ✨romance✨
𝕮 - 𝕮𝖚𝖒
Oh he’s going to fill you so full of cum that it pours out of your ears. He has a big breeding kink, and huge loads to match. But he’s also very healthy and takes good care of himself so his cum isn’t bad on your tongue on the off chance he hasn’t already cum inside you 600 times prior to finally doing so in your mouth. And he’s going to kiss you after- very sexc of him.
𝕯 - 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙
Lost his virginity in a barn. Got a tick on his ass of all places. The barn isn’t the secret tho... the tick is.
𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊
When you got together- he was definitely a virgin. Had only gone as far as MAYBE second base. But you used that to your advantage, because you’ve essentially built him up and trained him to be PERFECT for you. You also helped him find out what he likes and what makes him feel good too. Sure there was a lil’ corruption involved, but in the end you’re both very happy with your sex life.
𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓
Full on mf wrestling mating press. He’s going to have his cock so deep inside of you that if he even pushed a bit more his body is gonna go in too. Then he’ll just live there. He’s fine with that.
𝕲 - 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖋𝖞
Unintentionally so. Every once in a while, you’ll both giggle or laugh because you have to reposition when you start to cramp up or you accidentally hit him in the face when tying to pull him closer or something. But he’s a firm believer in the whole “if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with you shouldn’t have sex with them” addage, so he’s very grateful for those light moments.
𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗
It could definitely be neater. He isn’t abysmal, but he is hairy and could stand to trim a tiiiny bit more often. He’s just very low maintenance down there. As long as it’s clean he's good, which is both true and a decent place to start but pls tell him to get a little off the top of you know what I mean.
𝕴 - 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖈y
He’s! So! Loving! He’s always going to go the extra mile to make you feel special. He likes to keep things on the softer side I’d say 8/10 times. He prefers to make love instead of just fucking it out- but if you get into an argument or he’s frustrated, he will happily go hard… but still with candles and a massage. Also I said it already but he’s gonna hold your hands while he demolishes you- interlaced fingers and all that cute shit even tho you’re getting railed.
𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋
His grandma is one of those old ladies that’s like “don’t do that you’ll go blind,” so poor baby was a lil pent up before he got older. Now, he still doesn't do it often, but he does it once a month or so as part of his routine. He uses coconut oil because he likes the smell and that it melts easily.
𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐
Breeding, listen it’s just embedded in country boys to fuck and fill. He is no exception.
Spanking, moreso as a way to direct you. Moving too much? slap to stay still. Changing positions? Slap to get you moving. Just wants to see you jiggle? Yeah that too. Motivational slaps also come into play when he wants you to know you’re doing a good job.
Auralism, He LOVES to hear you. The sound of your breath, your moans, the way you chant his name when you’re close… he eats that shit up. It feeds his ego and boosts his pride. He also makes a lot of noise himself, mostly really deep moans but there’s a sprinkling of praise throughout too.
𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓
He needs privacy. So he’s definitely one to want to keep it at home or at least somewhere secluded and away, where he knows only you and him are there and will know about it.
𝕸 - 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓
He doesn’t care how he does it, but his number one priority, is making sure that you cum. Kita is a giver. And he will make sure to give you whatever you want from him.
𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!
He’s not into SUPER rough stuff. He’s not vanilla, but he is the kind of guy that sees sex as “lovemaking” so he’s not gonna punch you in the face or throw you around like a ragdoll. It’s just not his style. Of course if it's what you want, he will… but never expect him to ever bring it up or do so on his own.
𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑
Ok so- he's… teachable. I’m not gonna lie, he would start off as absolute trash. But the good thing about him is how adaptable he is, and how willing he is to learn. You’d have to have him work at it a lot but once he gets good he’s great. He’ll love the feeling of accomplishment he gets from you getting off with only his mouth- it does wonders for his pride.
𝕻 - 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖊
It’s very even- until he starts to get close. When he’s close he’s going to speed up so much that you have to brace yourself against anything that’ll hold you. He is definitely a headboard grabber too.
𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊
He likes to take his time with you. For that reason, he isn’t a huge fan. You would really have to convince him that it's worth it. He doesn’t see the point in instant gratification, and thinks you should be patient. Good things come to those who wait and all that Kita stop being so stoic and rail me at the farmers market challenge
𝕽 - 𝕽𝖎𝖘𝖐
Lmfao you think this mans is really gonna go for a public or semi-public scene? Think again. Now, he’s into sex outdoors sure, but only in your fenced in, enclosed backyard. He’s not letting anyone see you point blank periodt, you’re for his eyes only.
𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆
Excellent self control. He can hold off on cumming for as long as you need him to. Usually he’ll tap out himself after you’ve gotten through at least 3 of your own highs- but his record is 6. Has a super long refractory period tho- so he does things this way to make sure you get everything you need in one go.
𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞
He actually likes using toys on you. He has a bunch of different plugs and vibes that he uses to suit the situation. He prefers to use a hitachi wand on you while he’s fucking you, but all the others he uses for foreplay- or after to keep you full to the brim of his cum.
𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗
You both tease each other absentmindedly. He doesn’t know why he gets so turned on by you scrubbing the floor on all fours (that’s why), but he does. He also doesn’t understand why you think its hot when he cuts firewood in winter or wipes his forehead with his shirt during the summer. He thinks he’s gross and sweaty- but you can only think of a million other ways to make him sweatier.
𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊
Listen we stan. He’s not quiet in bed by any means, but he’s not overly loud either. He’s the type who takes deep breaths and then on the exhale let’s out a moan from deep in his chest- you know the one. And he does that shit on purpose. Not really, but he does think of it as his way of letting you know that he feels as good as you feel. Will also 100% hit you with the “is that it baby? Is that the spot?” While you’re practically turning into jello underneath him bc he absolutely knows that’s the spot he just likes to make you say it.
𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉
Wants to recreate the sex scene from tthe notebook with you. He can’t explain why, he just has an unexplainable urge to suck your face off in the rain and then proceed to raw you after peeling all the damp clothes from your body. Please oblige him.
𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞
He’s got the thickness. Not coke Can thickness but like… you remember the Alaskan bull worm from ep of SpongeBob? Well he’s the whole worm, not just the tongue. I’m going to hell for that reference but ya he has a nice dick. The perfect thickness and and I’ll say a pretty good 5.5-6 inches worth. It’s also very veiny on the underside which- yes I love that.
𝖄 - 𝖄𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌
Normal sex drive, since you tend to do it at least 2 times a week. He only seems to get a little needier when you CAN’T have sex regularly- ie, one of you is sick or you’re away from each other. When that happens, he’s a little edgier than usual, can snap sometimes but not often.
𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟
He’s the type to get a second wind after. He’ll only go to sleep after he makes sure all your aftercare needs are met, and even then, he’s only going to power-nap it for maybe 10mins. He’ll stay still and cuddle you while you sleep, but he’ll most likely watch tv or scroll through his phone while you enjoy his warmth. Every once in awhile he’ll give you a kiss while you stir.
Taglist Starseeds (check ur privacy settings if your url is in bold): @honey-makki @crushzone @yumekosgamblingroom @boujiesav @onesingleravioli @ushijimasfarmhat @trouvelle @nekoma-hoe @right-shoe-jpg @atsumusc0ck @nivky0-0 @animoozies @charmarsmith @tsumue @disasteren @hoe4abbacchio @sillykittt @ukaisbaby
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accio-victuuri · 3 years ago
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Hello Anon! 👋🏼 I will try to answer your questions. I don’t know how I can answer this without going into the plan of a Socialist China + other main issues. I will touch upon some of those.
I’m keeping this under the cut so those who are here for FANDOM only can skip. 🤍
So. About Danmei. I won’t go into history, let’s just discuss the recent conversation that has been going on.The gist is they are saying Danmei is perpetuating bad values and unrealistic beauty standards. Some people are also calling out the fact that companies use this genre to bait people — selling it as a product instead of wanting to tell a story. Tho I agree that this genre is/was exploited by companies + Danmei stories have questionable themes I don’t think that it should be targeted the way it is.
There are other medias that show “bad values” but are not getting banned. The comment section I shared was about minors and video games which is not solely a problem of Tencent or Netease. It should not be all on them. These kids have ways to get around it. The notion that this will somehow influence their sexuality is complete bullshit to me. They are trying to appeal to the people’s morality by dropping words like VALUES / CULTURE but it’s all just a ploy to silence LGBT media. They can’t make it too popular to the point that people will accept it.
About Religion and is it a part of Why all this Homophobia in CHN? I’ll answer that with a No right now. Since we’re talking about the present and what all this suppression is about.
• LGBT movement calls for people coming together w/ a common goal that does not show NATIONALISM (whatever that is) or not applauding the CCP so naturally, it should be shut down. The thing with the communist party is they don’t really care what cause you’re peddling, if you’re eclipsing them and their message then you should be out. Take for example the Pride Parade in Shanghai, when asked about it, officials don’t really care much that it’s an LGBT parade. They are calling it out because people are uniting about something that isn’t about The Motherland. You can only organize things like this if it’s about Propaganda.
• The Three Child Policy. You may have heard of this going around but it’s one of CHN’s problem right now— Their aging population. So having Danmei media is not good if they want people to get married and have babies (according to them lol). But really, they put up a poll on Weibo if people are ready for this change and 97% said no. Then they deleted the post. The people are overworked and underpaid. The world is shitty. The younger population who just got out of college can’t find decent jobs ( top universities are rumored to be lying about their student’s job placement rates). Maybe they should look into that first as reasons why people don’t want to procreate before blaming it on Danmei and the LGBT community.
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Digging up dirt regarding celebrities is not something new. The Antis and YXH have always been there to get the dirt about these celebrities. It’s their job. They want the clicks. It’s like in Hollywood etc where people dig up old tweets of problematic celebrities and expose them.
There is a crackdown going on in C-ent — not just artists but companies that benefit from them. You are seeing it. It’s only gonna get worse. I’ve talked about Celebrities in CHN being expected to have higher moral standards than regular people. That still applies but this is taking it to the extreme. Celebrities are doing what they can to prove their love for China for example :
• reposting the mandatory posts shared by government accounts.
• if someone gets cancelled they will delete that person’s existence in their social media accounts so they won’t be affected by association.
• cutting ties with brands that are Anti China ( or let’s call it pro Taiwan and Hongkong independence ).
• trying to get their hands on more projects that are 💯 backed by the government. working hand in hand with certain sectors of the government to relay the propaganda to people.
• using their platform to support government causes.
They might as well tattoo I love China on their foreheads as an ultimate act of Nationalism and not get cancelled.
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I don’t understand the Logic too. What they are doing is not sustainable at all. The Common Prosperity idea the CCP is trying to instill isn’t the end goal.
They preach about breaking companies who are getting Monopoly of industries when the truth is— It’s only the government who is allowed Monopoly. That’s why they are hitting celebrities with Tax Evasion. They get money. Silencing Billionaires. Seizing their assets. They will get the money. No one can be more powerful than the CCP. It’s a pig farm and once one gets too fat— they will be slaughtered. The media is trying to spin it as trying to stop toxic fan culture, which is, sure, I can agree to than on some level but it’s an excuse to do take more control of celebrities/media.
I just focused on what happening right now to keep it short. My thoughts aren’t always the more organized but I hope this made sense to you 😌🙏🏼
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infernal-fire · 4 years ago
Text
Long Forgotten
I am choosing to not use warnings. Do not read if you are uncomfortable with themes of infidelity, angst, swearing and sexual innuendos. 
Summary: Your Steve isn’t yours anymore and you’re beginning to understand why. 
Word Count: 3.5k
Pairings: Steve x reader and a surprise appearance ;)
Disclaimer: this is set right after Endgame
A/N: this story was inspired by @nsfwsebbie’s fic please don’t take him (even though you can). it was so damn amazing. i thought of how the situation would go under different circumstances, and added a more strong willed reader into the mix  :)
i tried to proofread but im sort of posting in a rush so all mistakes are my own!
(This GIF does not belong to me)
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Your head was nestled in the crook of Steve’s neck and his arms were cradling your tired form. Dried tears left your face feeling dry and your up do from the funeral was now tousled. Steve let out a heavy sigh and held you a little tighter. 
You could fall asleep if it weren’t for the looming stress of returning the stones so you decided to bide your time by focusing on the super soldier’s unnaturally slow heartbeat. 
“We should go, sweetheart. They’re waiting for me.” his voice broke the placid silence that had enveloped the room. 
You silently got off the bed and Steve’s hand nudged yours, stopping you from reaching the door. 
He slowly pulled you towards him and you met him halfway, face-to-face.
“I know things aren’t great right now. But we’ll get through this,” he spoke lowly as his large hands cupped your face. They felt rough against your supple skin, but his touch was as tender as ever.
You stared into his eyes for a moment before speaking. "I’ll come with you,” you offered.
“No,” he affirmed. His tone was firm yet a touch of softness was reserved in there somewhere, just for you.
“I love you Y/N. I’ll love you no matter what,” he said as he pulled your head into his chest and engulfed your body into his. 
//
You reached the new, mini version of the previously destroyed time travel contraption Tony made. Sam, Bucky and Professor Hulk were engaging in light conversation that clearly, none of them were interested in. You look up at Steve, who was as tense as ever, clutching your hand like a vice. He let go and glanced back at you before joining Sam. 
You knew deep down that Steve would never be the same anymore. Hell, after the Battle of Wakanda, Steve almost ended the relationship because the Avengers lost.
But the Avengers won this time, and things should feel different. So why did it feel like he was leaving forever? 
You recalled the very short conversation you had with him about Tony’s snap.
 “I should have snapped,” he sobbed. 
“You’ve always been selfless your whole life. This was Tony’s time to be selfless, and you don’t get to take that away from him.” You hugged him and cried with him. 
There was nothing else to be said.
How much you wished no one had to die. 
He stood on the platform and nodded at Bruce before locking eyes with you.
Apologetic. He looked apologetic. 
At the time, you thought he just looked sad. You assumed it was residual sadness from the funeral but looking back, you realized he looked apologetic for what he was about to do. 
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Rebuilding your relationship wasn’t easy. Tony and Nat’s death and the trauma of the battle were overshadowing both of your feelings. You salvaged what you could and life returned to a “normal” that never existed. 
Being an Avenger means your living costs are covered by Tony, basically compensating for the missions. Only there weren’t any missions anymore. You were grateful but it meant that you had a lot of time on your hands. 
You took up a job as a waitress and Steve continued running sessions at the VA with Sam. It was humbling to be serving people at a diner after fighting alongside some of Earth’s mightiest heroes. But you needed it. And slowly but steadily, happiness crept its way into the tower. 
You didn’t see Steve around anymore though. You weren’t sure if you were even together anymore, aside from the forehead kisses and lingering glances.
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You and Bucky set the table while you heard Sam and Steve banter over who gets to choose the movie today. Bucky chuckled and called them to eat.
There was relentless teasing, jokes being tossed around and big smiles everywhere.
“The nurse had poked him 2 times at this point and there was no blood coming out of him.” Sam laughed. 
“So she asks me if we can do the other arm.” Bucky snorted through breaths of amusement. 
“This guy pulls up his sleeve and the girl faints.” Sam howled as everyone doubled over in laughter. 
You wiped a tear from your eye and you look over at Steve who was laughing as well. It had been a long time since you’ve seen him so happy. 
Sure, he’d been distant. He hadn’t touched you since he came back. It had been 2 months though, and you wondered if you should try again tonight. You put a hand over Steve’s and he snapped his head to you. He gave you a small smile before slipping his hand out from under yours and picking up a napkin.
He needed the napkin, you told yourself. 
You went up to change into something that he might find more appealing. You were torn between the red lace set or the black corset. You settled for the classic red lace and tied on a robe before heading downstairs to tease him a little. 
“You’re going to tell her before you go right?” You heard Sam’s voice and broke your stride to the kitchen. 
“She won’t be happy.” You swore it was Steve’s voice but it was a little too quiet to be sure. You silently padded toward the kitchen, standing right outside the entrance to hear better.
“Of course she won’t be happy. You went back to be with a girl from 70 years ago and spent 4 months with her. You sort of cheated on her Steve.” Bucky’s voice quipped at Steve. 
You couldn’t be hearing right. Steve went back and got together with Peggy?
“It’s not sort of cheating, he almost got married to her,” Sam remarked in rebuttal. 
He almost got married to her. 
He almost got married to her. 
He almost got married to her.
There was so much information to process. Your shoulder sagged with the weight of the news and you cupped your mouth before anyone could hear your sob. 
“But I came back.” Steve countered. 
“Do you love her?” Bucky lowered his voice and inquired. 
“I don’t know anymore.” 
Your chest heaved and eyes burned. You wanted to gasp for air but you knew if you breathed, you would let out the anguish building in your stomach. 
Your back hit the wall and you slid down, not caring if he hears anymore. 
In moments, Steve, Bucky and Sam appear beside you with startled faces. 
You didn’t look at them as you got up and paced to your room. You thought you heard Steve’s voice calling after you but your thoughts pounded and clawed at the insides of your head. You couldn’t be sure and you weren’t going to turn back now. 
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He didn’t run after you. You had predicted that he didn’t want to deal with your hysterical crying which surely could be heard past your room walls. When you considered it, this new Steve was actually quite predictable; you knew he wouldn’t bother bringing it up to you until you brought it up yourself. Because he was a coward like that, you decided. All of his actions spoke for themself and the one true motive behind his cheating is cowardice. You don’t know if you would have been okay with him going back to Peggy, but if he talked about it, things not have ended the way they did. 
After 2 days of not leaving your room, you knew that there was a better way to handle this. It wasn’t you who should be embarrassed; instead of sulking, you marched to his room with newfound determination. 
You threw open his door that he didn’t even bother locking. Steve was mid-speech with someone on the phone, seemingly a conversation that wasn’t going his way. He seemed tense, his muscles protruding from the tight white t-shirt pulled over him. 
Your jaw ticked as you shifted your weight onto one foot and rested on the doorframe, waiting for him to end the call. 
“I’m sorry to cut this short. We have a lot to talk about but it’ll have to happen in-person.” he concluded the phone call and sat on the bed with his head in his arms. 
“Seems like you planned it all.” you commented, trying to sound like you didn’t care. In reality, the wound was still very fresh. Even though a part of you had known that the relationship was over for some time now, you were only coming to terms with it now. 
“I wanted to tell you before I left, but you were just so upset and I couldn’t …” he trailed off. 
“All of a sudden you care about me? And now this is somehow my fault that you were too chicken to tell me,” you retorted, unimpressed with his answer.
“I have always cared about you and always will.” He got up and walked towards you. He cupped your face but you pushed his hand off, glaring up at him. 
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I admit I could’ve handled everything lot better but Y/N. When you told me Tony’s snap was his moment of selflessness, I realized that all I’ve ever done is be selfless. And I don’t regret any of it. But it was time I chose to do something for myself. Then I remembered Peggy and the life I left behind and I just knew this world would be okay without me so I chose to be selfish. I chose to be selfish, Y/n, and I don’t regret that either.” 
You were crying now, and Steve reached to wipe it off, but you smacked his hand. 
“You used to choose me. You woke up everyday and chose us. The day you decided you didn’t want this anymore, you decided you would just go ‘fuck all’ and cheat on me? You couldn’t have ended it like a normal person?” you questioned through your tears. Your vision was foggy but you kept wiping your eyes, trying not let him see your tears.
He sighed and let a few moments stretch on before he answered.  
“We both know that this relationship was over a long time ago Y/N.”
You noted his use of your name and not the usual pet name ‘sweetheart’ or ‘love’. It saddened you even more to think that he doesn’t associate those words with you anymore. 
“You’re a fucking bastard Rogers. You are the biggest coward I have ever met in my life. You may be the Captain America, but you are the biggest wimp in real life.” You could tell he was fuming because of your comment but you continued your spiel. 
“I tried everything to make this work. The moment that the thought of cheating crossed your mind, you should have broken my heart. Because all you did now was rip it out and stomp on it before spitting on the what’s left-”
“I can’t believe you’re standing here accusing me of not trying to make this work. You know what Y/N? I fucking left Peggy because I thought about you and thought I could make this work. And then I came back and remembered all the reasons why this wouldn’t work and now I regret it. I wish I could go back to Peggy.”
“Go fuck yourself Rogers,” you muttered and turned to leave. “Actually, go fuck Peggy’s skeleton Steve. I curse you with every cell in my body. I hope you never get to see her again. I know you’re trying to go back,” you added before wiping you final tear, once and for all. There was no way you were going to shed another tear on this asshole. 
Except, it wasn’t that simple. You did cry over it more, but if there’s anything you did right, it was making sure he never saw your tears. 
You also found that post-break up glow up’s were a real thing. The lack of missions means you didn’t need to see Steve unless you chose to be in the same space as him. So you chose to make new friends and bring new light into your life. There was no dread clouding your judgment because for once, there was no impending threat on the future of Earth. 
You cut your hair, you changed up your wardrobe and got as fit as you’ve ever been. Your friends made frequent stops at the Tower which eventually turned into dragging you into their bar hopping.
On the other hand, Steve was doing everything he could to go back to Peggy, just like you had predicted. You manifested his downfall. Hank Pym refused to let his work fall into the hands of the Avengers and Steve was having a very hard time convincing him otherwise. The final nail in the coffin was when Hank decided that Pym Particles should not be produced anymore. As long as the world didn’t understand the entirety of the quantum realm, no one should have access to something that could mess with it. No arguments could ensue because there was nothing anyone could say to change Hank’s mind.
As much as Bucky and Sam wanted him to go back, they knew he deserved it for everything you were put through. When Steve found that his friends weren’t on the same page as him, he spiraled deeper into regret and depression. There wasn’t much to be done in terms of world-saving, which is what he was made for. The person he thought was the love of his life is gone now. When the dust settled, he realized that you were the only thing that kept him going for so long. But now he lost you too, and there was nothing he could do get you back. 
While you were out living your new life, Steve was trying to find a life for himself. He would see you around the compound and wanted nothing more than to feel the warmth of your love. What he would do to feel that again, he couldn’t explain to anyone. 
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Your escapades were at an all-time high. You knew that single life is the life. Just when you finally concluded that all men were trash, Ransom came crashing into your life. Although he only reinforced this belief, this man wasn’t just any trash. He was your trash. 
He was the mutual of your friends and you seemed to never be able to escape him. Moreover, your friends decided that you wouldn’t escape him. 
The teasing and playful banter between you two turned into something more serious about a year after your break-up. Ransom was everything Steve wasn’t. 
Steve was a gentleman. Chivalrous. Gentle. 
Then you reminded yourself that he had proven to you that he wasn’t any of things anymore. Ransom was the exact opposite, but he wore it on his sleeve. After all the lies and cowardice, Ransom’s blunt and bold attitude was exactly what you needed. 
There were moments you found yourself comparing the nature of the two relationships. With Steve, a lot of it was gentle and soft with some roughness around the edges. Life alongside Ransom was nothing short of callous, but that’s why soft, vulnerable moments felt even more extraordinary and special. 
If you made a judgement based off first impressions, someone like Ransom seems to be more likely to cheat than someone like Steve Rogers. Upon deeper analyzation though, Ransom doesn’t have any skeletons in his closet. He doesn’t claim things easily, but when he does, he would go to any length to make sure what’s his, will stay his. Soon after you realized this, you began abandoning thoughts of comparing the two relationships. 
//
There was a party at the Tower for Sam’s birthday. It was the first time in a long time that you were going to be around Steve for longer than 10 minutes. Doubt began seeping through your determination; how well would you fare under the pressure of pretending to be okay around him? 
“Do we have to match, sugar?” Ransom whined from your bathroom. 
“Why would you even go to an event as a couple if you aren’t matching?” you hollered back. 
You heard Ransom grumble as the bathroom door swung open. The emerald green dress shirt with small gold polka dots complemented his eyes so perfectly. Ransom was about to complain again before seeing the look of awe on your face. He decided right then that he could suck it up for the night. 
You were wearing an emerald green cocktail dress with sheer black net covering your shoulders, your sleeves reaching your elbows. The material was different, but the print was the exact same as Ransom’s. He couldn’t help but wonder why you put so much effort into such little things. He made a mental note to do something like this for you another time before wrapping his arms around your frame, burying his face into your face.
“Ran! My hair!” you squealed as you tried to push him off. 
“Usually it’s me that takes this long to get ready. You trying to impress the Captain?” Ransom winked and sat on your bed. 
“Oh fuck off.” you rolled your eyes and added the big bow to your half up hair-do. 
“You look so innocent baby. How angelic would you look with my cum dripping out of your mouth?” he smirked as you dropped your mouth, looking at him through the mirror. 
“My god Ran, this is not the time.” You shook your head and pulled him with you, finally making your way to the party downstairs. 
You were breaking out into cold sweat for some reason. Part of you really wanted to show Steve how happy you were now, but you felt that it meant you weren’t truly over him. Were you making a mistake?
Right before you opened the door the common room where the party was ongoing, Ransom stopped you and looked right into your eyes. 
“You know, as much as I’d like to make your ex jealous, if you don’t want this, I could think of a lot of other ways to spend the night,” he winked and you blushed. This is exactly why you liked him so much. There was no pressure to be anything but yourself around him. Even if you told him you wanted to go back to your room, there would be no judgement on his behalf. He wouldn’t ever bring it up as a joke either, because he just knew what he could and couldn’t joke about. 
“Let’s do this, bubbles” you giggled. He groaned at the nickname and pulled you into his side with one arm, opening the door with the other. 
One of Ransom’s many talents was making an entrance and this event was no exception. As you walked through the entrance, Ransom kept his head high and pulled you along with him. His confidence began rubbing off you and within a few steps, you stopped slouching. Straightening you back and tossing your hair behind your back, you bathed in the glory of the looks you and Ransom were getting. He took you straight to the bar, smiled at you and ordered drinks. 
“You know, your ex was fuming in the corner,” he remarked as he sipped on his drink. 
“No!” you laughed incredulously, unable to imagine Steve begin angry over Ransom’s presence. 
“It’s true, look for yourself,” he calmly retorted. His eyes flicked to a corner of the room and you followed his gaze there. Steve looked away upon seeing you look at him but it was clear that he was flustered. Bucky stood beside him, entertaining a gaggle of girls, but Steve’s attention was clearly elsewhere. 
“He’s actually pretty hot in person, it’s making me jealous” Ransom nonchalantly mentioned. 
You threw your head back and laughed. Your doubts of whether this was a good idea were dissipating very quickly. 
Ransom chuckled and then looked at you intently. You looked back at him, the high of the laugh wearing off because of his intense stare. 
“I think I’m in love with you.” you blurted. 
“You know, I’m glad you said it because I did not want to say it first.” he snickered and you playfully punched him. 
“Ow! I’m just kidding, don’t go all Avengers-mode on me!” he fussed.
You pulled him into a tight hug. He peeled your head away from his chest to cup your face and give you a light kiss before whispering ‘I love you too.’ You started to tear up, thinking of all the pain you had to go through to get this moment of tranquility with your favourite person in the whole, wide world. 
He cooed and kissed your forehead. 
“I always got you.” he assured and pulled your head back into his chest. You smiled and broke away from the hug, sitting back on the bar stool. 
“I think you transferred your lipstick because you have a dark red lip mark on your forehead.” 
You groaned and frantically wiped your forehead. 
“Hey,” he caught your wrist. “Why don’t we go back up and fix that?” His eyes glinted in the dim lights and you giggled like a schoolgirl as he pushed through the crowd.
In that moment, and every moment after it, Steve was long forgotten. 
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