#I tested both a few years ago for a very short time

[chimchiri]

I will forever hate Instagram and Twitter. Nothing will drag me over there to post any art or follow artists (no matter how much I admire your art).

Oh, sorry, you're almost exclusively posting over there? No, thanks, I'm good just seeing the 1% you post here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[cabinetofquriosities]

A F***ing Trial

Agatha x Rio x Reader

Warnings: sex pollen-like story and SO. MUCH. SMUT.

Reblog this if you like it 🖤

Agatha and Rio were already awake once you rose from your exhausted slumber.

After barely surviving the last trial that cut your group down to three, you had conked out by the fire. Your entire body was sore and your emotions in a frenzy. The night’s sleep helped your body and mind. You were still sad about your other coven members, but you also didn’t know them before meeting them three days prior.

Agatha, though. You had met her years ago in Westfield. She finally snapped out of the Scarlet Witch’s spell and found you. She had a list provided by another member of the new coven and your name was on it.

You had no clue you had any magic at all until Agatha tested you. Granted, throwing a chair at someone wasn’t the safest way of testing them, but it worked in your case. You flinched and the chair burst into flames, falling to ash as it hit you. You were a fire witch. A protector.

However, you were a fire witch who could only use your powers that one time. After that, it was as if you had a block. Agatha had thrown other things at you as her way of “helping”, though you wondered if she just wanted an excuse for a bit of violence. Nothing. Books and a wooden spoon bounced off of your head.

“Well, we’re just going to have to see what unlocks you,” she said.

The road was brutal and unforgiving, killing one witch per trial. It scared you to know that the next three could do the same to the remaining witches, yourself included.

Rio seemed strangely unaffected by the death surrounding them. Agatha did as well, but seemed a bit more sensitive to it than her ex. You had been a crying mess after the first loss. Now you were just afraid.

You had grown attached to the two other witches. Agatha was captivating. She was intensely ambitious to the point of selfishness, but also contained multitudes. You could see the layers of her emotions peeking through every now and then. She was larger than life and spellbinding. Rio, meanwhile, had more teeth. She was aggressive and passionate. While she seemed detached at times, she had this insatiable desire to live life to the fullest. It was as if she were new to it. Little did you know, she was out of practice when it came to feeling genuine attachment to people and being among the living.

You could tell straight away that the two had a long history. The tension was thick, hanging heavily in the air. The rest of your now deceased coven could feel it too.

When you woke up alone, the two surviving coven members were nowhere to be found. You walked out a bit into the woods, looking for them. You stopped short at the sight of Rio being pinned against a tree by Agatha.

Rio was smirking at the other woman as if to challenge her. Agatha leaned in, biting at Rio’s lips. Her thigh was pressed against her core, grinding against her leather pants. Rio smiled as she craned her head back against the trunk of the tree. Agatha’s hand let her wrist go and slid down her front, dipping beneath her waistband. Rio let out a gasp, earning a smug smile and arched brow from Agatha.

You tried to sneak away, but accidentally stepped on a twig, the snap alerting the couple to your presence. They both looked at you, making the blood in your body rise to your cheeks.

Your fingertips suddenly sparked, the magic you were previously unable to access now activating with arousal. You had always repressed your desires in the past, having been raised in a strict religious family. You had been intimidate with a partner in the past, but it was all very vanilla.

Agatha noticed your hands burning with fire, her mind working to decipher what that could mean about your power.

“I… uh, sorry,” you said, quickly retreating back to the fire, jumping when the flame surged on the burnt out logs.

You could hear Rio laughing mockingly in the distance.

A few minutes later, the pair found you. Rio sat next to you with that same smirk from before while Agatha barely even looked at you. Her eyes fell on the newly lit fire.

“Interesting,” she said, her face illuminated by the glow.

“I’ll say,” Rio said, her hand resting on your knee.

The moment Rio touched you, the fire grew in intensity. Agatha’s eyes widened, looking both alarmed and excited about what this meant.

“I guess we finally found your spark,” Agatha said, giving you a sly smile.

Two small flames jumped out of the fire, catching on the dirt in a way that wasn’t physically possible. A trail ignited, two lines of fire forming and spreading out. Agatha’s fascination turned to worry.

“Alright… enough spark, let’s pull it back…” she said nervously.

“I’m not doing anything!” you said, your heart racing.

The fire formed a path, the flames staying in two controlled lines that led them to a tower in the distance. Rio tilted her head, toying with a flower she bloomed from her hand.

“Well, I guess we know whose trial this is,” she said.

Your heart was in your throat. Your power was still so unpredictable. You had used it once in self defense on a chair and once just moments ago. You watched as the two other women led the way. Agatha turned around, regarding you before speaking.

“You can do this. The road wouldn’t be calling you if you couldn’t. Let’s go.”

She spun back around, dramatically flipping her coat with no regard for the flames. You took a moment to steel yourself before following them.

The path led to a tower made of ice. The walls reflected the moonlight, giving it a glow against the backdrop of the sky. The door had a stained glass portrait of the full moon with fire surrounding it.

You pushed the door open and stepped through, expecting the usual costume change. You looked at Agatha and Rio to see that they were naked. Agatha looked nonplussed while Rio had a wolfish smile. Looking down, you were mortified to see your own naked body with one addition.

“Well, I didn’t know you were packing more than magical heat…” Agatha purred, looking down at the sizable dick that had been bestowed upon you.

“No, I… I don’t have… the road did it!” you said, shocked at your new anatomy.

“Well, the road has wonderful taste,” she replied as you tried covering it with your hands.

“Enough admiring, we should find the challenge,” Rio said, looking you up and down once more before searching your surroundings.

The ceiling was out of your sight, positioned at the very top of the massive tower. There were portraits lining the circular frozen walls. They were lined up like film, carvings of stone with bodies in different positions. The floor was cushioned and covered in silk sheets and decadent pillows.

You walked along the wall, finally distracted enough to examine the room. You touched a wall and felt the cold against your fingertips. You stepped back to the center with Agatha and Rio. Once you were all in the middle of the room, an ice hourglass began to slowly fill with water, the cube on top melting as time passed. A shelf emerged with four icicles attached. A circle of low burning fire surrounded the coven as the timer began.

Something resembling snow fell from the ceiling, breaking into a fog the three of you breathed in. Your heart began to race and you felt a flush burning your cheeks. There was an iron frame that appeared over one of the portraits. It was a carving of two people entangled in the missionary position.

You noticed the other two women struggling to keep their focus. Their pupils dilated and focused on you. You looked down and saw where all of your blood had rushed to.

Agatha looked up at the carving.

“I think we know what your trial is,” Agatha said, her voice a bit raspy, “Little miss purity has to discover a few things.”

You would have been resistant if you had been with anyone else, but the two other women had been present in your dreams since the beginning of the road.

“Wait, what?”

“You heard her, firestarter,” Rio said, stalking up to you.

A thin sheen of sweat covered her body, causing a layer of goosebumps to break out. She looked like she was about to consume you.

“I know you feel it too. That need rushing through you?” she said, leaning in to whisper into your ear.

“The air of arousal,” Agatha said, her body nearly shivering with desire, “That’s what we breathed in. If we don’t satiate it, it can kill you. Are you okay with this?”

Agatha actually seemed to care about how you felt about this, despite the irresistible lust taking her over.

“Yes,” you said eagerly before you could stop yourself, “I wanted it before.”

You turned to Rio, who was standing an inch from you, her hands running along your arms. You pulled her into a kiss, the heat within you passing the point of no return. Rio fell back, pulling you with her. You landed over her, catching yourself with your hands. Seeing her beneath you like this was more intense than you could imagine.

Rio reached between you, her hand wrapping around your cock. Her touch sent a shock through you, the flames of the circle rising a bit. You lowered your hips down as she guided you into her. You both gasped at the sensation. Your eyes squeezed shut at the overwhelming feeling.

“Move,” Rio ordered.

You opened your eyes and locked onto hers. You slowly moved your hips, getting used to the motion. You let out a whine as you began to speed up. Rio rolled her hips with yours, bucking and grinding against you. You didn’t know what else to do but thrust. She reached down again and began playing with her own clit. Her cunt squeezed around you as her mouth fell open into a moan. The flames grew another foot. An icicle fell from the shelf, crashing against the floor. There were three left.

You could hear a cranking sound as the portraits spun around the room, the frame now over a carving of a woman riding a man. Rio sat up, about to top you when Agatha interrupted.

“You already got one,” Agatha said to Rio.

She nearly tackled you to the floor, pinning your wrists on either side of your head. She straddled you, grinding herself along the side of your cock. You squirmed, your breath shaking at the feeling of her wet lips massaging you. She reached down and positioned you before sinking down onto you. She threw her head back, her long hair falling down her back. Her chest was shamelessly pushed out as she moved. Her hips rocked and circled, leaving you without a thought in your mind. You bucked up, drawing a gasp from her. She took you by the wrists and guided them over her breasts. You held onto her as you fucked her, your back arching off of the cushioned floor. You sat up, kissing and sucking at her neck. Her arms encircled you, her hand tangled in your hair as she held you to her throat. You moaned against her skin as she rode you.

“Fuck… fuck, fuck, fuck…” Agatha whispered as she moved faster.

Suddenly, she tensed up, her body freezing her into a vision of pleasure. Her mouth hung open, her eyes squeezing shut. Her slick walls pulsed around you, making you shudder with your own orgasm. Another icicle fell as the fire grew again. You were still terribly hard in a way that was painful.

The whirring of the portraits snapped you from your haze. The one that was picked made your pulse quicken. You could see it had the same effect on your coven members. Rio smiled and Agatha looked you up and down.

Something inside of you took hold. You grabbed Agatha by the waist, flipping her onto her hands and knees. You looked at Rio, saying, “Move.”

Rio didn’t have to be told twice. She sat and opened her legs in front of Agatha. You checked the time, the hourglass half full. Sweat trickled down your face, the magic nearly driving you insane.

You moved to your knees behind Agatha, reaching down and grabbing her by the hair. She let out a shocked moan as you pulled her tresses before slamming into her. You shoved her head down into Rio’s pussy.

Her mouth immediately went to work, drawing hitches and sighs from Rio. You grabbed her by the hip with your free hand and pulled her into each thrust. The sound of moans, the wet sounds of Agatha’s mouth exploring Rio, and your thighs slapping against Agatha’s ass filled the tower. You felt a feral need to make her cum. Your hand went from her hair to her back. You dug your nails in and scratched down over its arch. You could feel the way Agatha reacted to it, knowing then that Agatha had a submissive side.

“Slap her,” Rio growled, “She loves it.”

You reared back, your hand coming down against her ass with a force. Agatha let out a wild cry against Rio’s warmth. She then went back to sucking on Rio’s clit, earning higher and higher moans. You knew she was close and also knew how to help Agatha to catch her up. You reached your arm around her and played with the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Ah! Fuck, yes!” she cried out, pressing her cheek to Rio’s inner thigh before returning to her.

The two women’s moans rose in pitch until all three of you broke. You fell forward, catching yourself on your hands before crushing Agatha. You could hear the shattering of another icicle as it fell. One left. The flames were several feet high and licking at the walls.

The carvings spun one last time. This one was more confusing than the others. Two women, lying one on top of the other facing the sky. The man was inside of one while the other held her.

“Ah, I see,” Rio said.

She guided Agatha as she laid down. Rio lay under her, her front pressing against her back. They were stacked on one another, waiting for you. You looked at the hourglass and saw how close you were to the end of your time.

You were on your knees when you held Agatha’s hips and thrusted into her. Her head fell back against Rio’s shoulder. You took no time for foreplay. You fucked her with abandon before pulling out of her, earning a violent glare.

You then slid into Rio, fucking her with the same force. She kissed and marked Agatha, her neck one big bruise. Your hands covered her breasts, pinching and tugging at them. She leaned down and kissed Agatha, pouring all of the hidden desire you had been harboring for her into it. You pulled out of Rio and sank back into Agatha, a whimper escaping her lips driving you absolutely insane.

She screamed as her cunt strangled you, her body spasming with her climax. You looked at her wild hair and her blissed out face. You wanted to remember this forever.

You then sank into Rio, pulling an animalistic growl from her that slightly scared you. Your thighs ached as you sped your thrusts, angling to find the part of Rio that made her scream. She shook and shrieked as she came with you following soon after, the pleasure blinding you for a moment.

The fire shot up, reaching the top of the tower as the final icicle fell. The walls melted down, water falling and rolling down to the ground. The carvings fell from the melted walls into the dirt. The hourglass filled and broke before disintegrating into a puddle. The fire that had been emanating from your magic returned to your hands. You looked down and your clothes were back and your member was gone.

“Well,” Agatha said, standing on wobbly legs before dusting herself off, “Good job, team.”

Rio snorted with a laugh, getting up and offering you a hand. You took it and walked with them, now knowing the trip down the road would be much more fun.

Thank you for reading! Reblog this if you liked it 🖤

[pali-writes-atiny-bit]

Going Dumb

Pairing: mean Dom!Seungmin x brat puppy!reader (assumed AFAB)

Summary: What happens when you agree to give your boyfriend Seungmin control of your orgasm for the week and then go back on your word.

WC: 2.5k

Genre: smut

Content Warning: heavy themes of BDSM and pet play, orgasm control/denial, edging, remote controlled vibrator, collar/leash, pet names (hers: good girl, beautiful girl, Pup, Puppy; his: Minnie, Min, Master), spanking, anal play, squirting, brief mentions of aftercare (please keep in mind that extensive aftercare is very important in scenes like these), degradation

Nets: @mirohs-aurora-society @neverendingdreams-net

A/N: a few months ago @skzdust and I were obsessed with short hair Seungmin. I listened to Going Dumb ft Stray Kids and it's like...totally a sex song. I just had to write something featuring Seungmin.

Please check out their fic here!

You went through all the trouble of breaking the rules, and you still didn't even get to cum without your Master.”

You bite back a moan and let your knees fall together, squeezing your thighs together. Despite your efforts, a whimper escapes you as when you feel the slick that is beginning to coat them. Your walls rapidly clench and unclench around the intruding vibrator pulsing against your g-spot. The vibrator suddenly ramps up to the highest setting and you squeal. Pleasure coils tight low in your belly. Your hands desperately clutch fistfuls of your skirt and your thighs tense and quiver with the strain of fighting off your impending orgasm.

When the vibrations suddenly stop, you sag into the pillows behind you, letting out a huff that's simultaneously a sigh of relief and a petulant whine at yet another stolen orgasm. You pant heavily.

“That's it. That's my good girl, my beautiful girl,” Seungmin coos at you from the laptop in front of you.

“Please, Minnie,” you plead - for relief or release you do not know.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he tuts, smirking through the screen. “That's not what you should be calling me, Puppy.”

“I'm sorry, Master, please,” you say, eyes lowering.

He ponders, “I don't think so,” you pout but he continues. “Hold on until tomorrow, and I'll reward you. I need to go now, Pup. Be good. I love you.”

You respond in kind before ending the call and shutting the laptop. You flop backwards in the pillows, closing your eyes and letting the last dregs of arousal fade from your body.

You and Seungmin have been dating for a few years now. About a year ago you had started introducing elements of BDSM into your relationship to spice up the bedroom (not that your sex life really needed the help). While neither of you were necessarily into the 24/7 total power exchange, you enjoyed submitting to Seungmin now and again as much as he enjoyed dominating you.

Currently, he is gone for the week, traveling for schedules. Before he left, he had gifted you this vibrator which could be controlled from a long distance when synced over the wifi. He challenged you to give him control over all of your orgasms - he decided when, where, and how many you would get.

The first night, you both tested the waters. When he video called you and asked you to put the vibrator in, you were quick to comply. He cycled through the different vibration patterns and strength, watching your reactions carefully. Even through a camera lens he could read every single tell her body had; the way her lips curled, her eyelids fluttered, or muscles twitched. Taking his time, he gently edged you to two powerful orgasms - giving in easily when you begged him for release.

The second night, he sent you into overstimulation with 5 orgasms in quick succession. Through each of them, he kept the vibrator steadily thrumming on the lowest setting, never letting you come down completely. You were so sensitive after the third time you came that you couldn't even be certain your fourth and fifth climaxes were separate. You had begged him to turn the vibrator off. When you ended the call that night you were a shuddering puddle.

Each night since he has edged you ruthlessly, bringing you to the summit of your pleasure but denying your release. Sometimes he only brings you to the precipice once, like tonight. Other times, he has brought you to the edge two or three times. Tonight was the fourth night in a row of being denied and your body is wound so tightly.

You want so badly to relieve yourself but you refrain. Seungmin returns tomorrow. Surely he'll reward your obedience.

The next day, you come home from work in a terrible mood. The cafe you work at was short staffed through the entire lunch rush, a customer spilled hot coffee all over your uniform, and somehow your till came up almost $20 short. This isn't the first time money has been found missing, from your till specifically. You suspect one of your coworkers is stealing, but you have no definitive proof so you have been unable to pinpoint the person responsible. You let out a heavy sigh and run a hand through your hair. You know the money will come out of your next paycheck.

You don't need the money per say - Seungmin has been adamant that you should allow him to take care of all of the bills. You both know he makes more than enough to keep you both comfortable. It's just the principle of it. You don't want to have to rely on him to take care of you. Even if it is irrational, it makes you feel like you are taking advantage of his status as an idol.

You wish it didn't, but the whole situation stresses you out. Your racing thoughts begin jumbling in your brain and suddenly your uniform feels too tight. All of your focus shifts to your skin and the way it seems to prickle and itch. You pull uncomfortably at the fabric but you find no relief. Finally, you decide to just strip off the clothing and take a shower to rinse the day - and the coffee - away.

Even after the shower you still don't feel relaxed. You're just stressed. Tense. Wound tight like a watch spring.

You know exactly what would help release the tension and make you feel better. The past four nights of edging have definitely taken a toll on you. It’s been years since you went this long without an orgasm. Before you and Seungmin started dating you often masturbated to help relieve your stress. And since then you haven't had to worry about taking care of those needs yourself. Seungmin's sex drive is as high, if not higher than your own.

Stepping out of the shower, you take a look at the clock on your nightstand. It's just after 3 in the afternoon. You're not expecting Seungmin back until around 7. You bite your lip as you think - 4 hours would be plenty of time for you to take your time rubbing one out and disposing of the evidence. On the other hand, Seungming would surely punish you if he found out you gave yourself an orgasm after agreeing to hand over control to him. Still, after pondering for a few minutes you decide that you could risk chasing your release and Seungmin would be none the wiser.

You drop the towel you had wrapped around yourself, grab your favorite vibrator, and climb onto the bed. You arrange the pillows against the headboard in the center of the mattress and lean back against them. In this position you’re not quite sitting up, not quite laying down. Taking a minute to just breathe and tune into your body, you rest your feet flat on the bed before letting your knees fall open.

You set the vibrator on the bed next to you and begin caressing yourself. Starting from your thighs, you slowly drag your palms up. Feeling first the soft flesh of your hips, then your belly, and finally your breasts. You let your fingertips ghost over your nipples before repeating the sequence of motions.

By your third pass, your nipples are stiff peaks and you're beginning to feel the familiar tingling between your legs. You reach for your trusty vibrator. You switch it onto the lowest setting and a quiet hum fills the room.

With one hand you play with your breast, alternating between softly squeezing the mound and teasing the nipple with your fingers. You softly pinch the nub between your thumb and forefinger - sometimes rolling it between your fingers and other times tugging it gently. The actions send soft jolts of pleasure through your body to your pussy which begins to moisten.

Continuing to play with your breast, you begin teasing your pussy with the tip of the vibrator. Tracing first the contours of your outer lips before dragging it up through your inner lips and just barely grazing the hood of your clit. You repeat the actions, slowly working your body up until your clit protrudes from its hood and slick begins to trickle from your entrance.

You turn the vibrator up and when you touch it directly to your clit you can't help the moan that escapes you. You continue to play with yourself. You alternate between dipping the vibrator into your dripping cunt to lubricate it and circling it around your clit.

You turn the vibrator up to the highest setting and throw your other arm over your eyes. When you touch it to your clit again your whole body tenses as pleasure surges through your body. You're too engrossed in the buzzing of the vibrator and your own moans to hear the front door unlock.

Just before you're about to cum, you hear a low voice at the bedroom door, “Oh someone's been a very naughty Puppy.”

Startled, your eyes fly open and you let out a scream. Seungmin stands in the doorway - it seems he came home early and caught you red handed.

You know there is no way you can possibly talk your way out of this so when he drops his bag and points at his feet, you're quick to obey. You scramble off the bed and kneel at his feet. You sit back on your heels, spreading your legs a little wider than shoulder width, and place your hands on your thighs, palms down. You sit with your back straight but your eyes down cast.

Seungmin places a hand on your head affectionately, but you dare not look at him when he speaks. “It looks like my beautiful pet has been disobedient in my absence. I think you need to be punished.”

You watch his feet disappear from your view. You hear him fetch something from the closet before he takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “Be a good Pup and fetch your collar, would you?” He asks.

“Yes, Master,” you reply easily. You move to stand up, but are quickly stopped with a click of his tongue. “Good pups don't walk on two legs, do they? Crawl.”

You crawl to the night stand where your collar and leash are kept. You retrieve the items, hesitating only a moment before putting them in your mouth and crawling back to Seungmin.

When you arrive, he takes the collar and sets the leash to the side. He fastens the collar around your neck, sliding two fingers under the leather to ensure it's not too tight before patting his lap. You stand up and lay yourself over his lap.

“Be honest Pup, did you cum?” he asks?

“No, Master,” you whimper and he hums with derision.

“You went through all the trouble of breaking the rules, and you still didn't even get to cum without your Master,” he rubs a hand over your ass.

“While you technically didn't cum, you still tried to steal an orgasm from me even after giving me control of them. That doesn't seem very fair, does it, Pup?” He accentuates the question with a sharp swat.

You whimper and whisper, “No Master, it wasn't fair.”

“Very well,” he says, “let's start with 10 spanks. I want you to count.” He traps your legs between his own and clips the leash to the collar. He wraps the leash around one hand and uses it as leverage to keep your body flush to his legs. With his other hand he begins delivering the spanks.

You dutifully count and by the time 10 is reached, tears are leaking from your eyes, and your ass is a rosy pink that radiates heat. However, there is an undeniable heat pulsing between your legs too.

Seungmin gently teases a few fingers through your folds. “You're soaked, Pup. I think you liked your punishment.” You don't respond, verbally, but you push your hips back into his hand, chasing his touch.

“My good girl,” he praises, “you did so well. Get up on the bed, I have another present for you.”

Doing as you were told, you climb onto the bed and present yourself on your hands and knees. There's a brief pause before he moves behind you. You hear the click of a bottle cap before you feel the cold sensation of lube being drizzled over your anus. You jolt a little at the temperature but he is quick to soothe you.

This is far from the first time the two of you have experimented with anal toys, but he still takes his time opening you up. First with one finger; then two as he scissors them apart. When he's satisfied you're stretched enough, you feel the familiar pressure of a plug being pressed against your opening. You slowly exhale and push out slightly, allowing the plug to slide in easier.

When it’s fully seated, you clench around it. It feels different. Heavier. You move your hips experimentally and feel it move with you. “You got me a tail, Master?”

“Sure did, Pup, and you look so good with it. You look exactly like a bitch in heat, presenting your glistening folds to me.”

You moan sinfully and arch your back more. “Please Master, fuck me! Breed me!” you plead.

Seungmin wastes no more time. You hear the clink of his belt and the swish of fabric before you feel the bed dip behind you. He sheaths himself into your warm, wet heat with a single thrust and your mouth opens in a silent scream.

“Fuck, Pup,” he grunts. “You're so warm and tight.”

He pulls back almost all the way and thrusts back in. It feels like there's a tangled knot of pleasure deep inside your walls from all your denied orgasms. The way he drives his cock into that knot with every single thrust has you seeing stars. Pleasure quickly overrides your senses. Every thought bleeding from your mind except for one. Need to cum!

“Is Puppy going dumb on Master's cock?” He teases. “Does dumb Puppy need to cum?”

His words shake something loose in your brain. “Yes- yes- yes! Please!” You chant with every thrust of his cock. “Please, Min! Please M-m-master!”

With one hand digging into your hip, he wraps the leash around the other and tugs backward just enough to pull your head up, restricting your breathing slightly. As you grow lightheaded you hear him say “cum” and you let go, a feeling of euphoria washing over you.

Your vision whites out and all you can hear is the roaring of the blood rushing through your head. It feels like all your muscles contract along with your vaginal muscles. Your pussy clamps down on Seungmin’s dick like a vice, milking every drop of his cum. A combination of his release and your own spurts out around his cock with the force of your climax.

You feel like you're floating and your arms give out beneath you. Before you can fall face first into the bed, Seungmin catches you. He gently pulls out and maneuvers you both so he's laying down with you on his chest. He gently rubs his hand up and down your back, whispering sweet nothings like “good pup, beautiful, good girl.”

It's several minutes until your wits and motor function return for the both of you to clean up.

Seungmin runs you a bath and then changes the sheets. As you soak in the bath you wonder - was that really punishment, or was it perhaps reward?

[fake-married-my-dead-fiance]

I find the characterization of Zhu Yan in Fangs of Fortune fascinating. He has a very impish/Peter Pan vibe, where he doesn't seem to take anything seriously with a mix of child-like wonder, but he also feels a deep sense of responsibility, both to protect things/people and guilt about "his" actions.

It's not clear if Zhu Yan was born as the malicious energy vessel or he became it later in life, but he has a reputation of being evil from before 8 years ago and we only ever see him being good when he's in control, so Zhu Yan was the vessel and lost control/killed people for a long time. However, he seems to be doing okay. He had his friends: Li Lun, former Blaize Goddess, and the Mountain God Grandpa, he looks happy in the younger flashbacks, and notably, everyone who knows him well likes him (even if they find him annoying).

Then all in a very short span of time (like a few days?), Zhu Yan watches Li Lun go on a murder spree, maims him by mistake with the Ever Burning Fire, and then sees him being imprisoned. Right afterwards, he loses control and kills his other best friend (Blaize Goddess the former) and the entire Demon Hunting Bureau

This is understandably too much for Zhu Yan to take, so he struggles on for 8 years, probably just waiting for Zhuo Yi Chen to be old enough to kill him and trying to relieve his guilt:

When the show begins, he has decided to approach Zhuo YiChen and teach him how to use the sword properly. He's probably tired of waiting but also testing if ZYC can use the sword because Zhu Yan is ridiculously hard to kill and it seems like the older brother never could use the sword correctly.

Then running through the whole timeline is the fact that Zhu Yan is trying to keep his vow to protect the Wilderness that he made 500 years prior. He has a sense of responsibility and this means he kind of has to stay alive because if he dies, a new, unpredictable vessel will be chosen and who knows what they will do? I feel like ejecting his core and committing suicide would be possible, but he can't because only Sword Death would stop a new vessel from being created. The former Blaize Goddess and Mountain God Grandpa both seem to believe that Zhu Yan is the best keeper of the malicious energy and actively try to keep him alive and in control. He also sees it as his responsibility to find the Blaize token, both because it's required but also because he was part of losing it.

He's screwed in 3 different ways, because by nature he randomly kills people, but also by nature he's also extremely compassionate and therefore hates himself for what he can't control, and he also can't take the easy way out because he knows that he's the best keeper of the malicious energy. He's completely trapped and it's no wonder he just wants out... until he has built friendships up around himself again and then he wants to live.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA For telling my partner I'd like to bring my ex into our relationship?

I'm copying this over from r/relationship_advice, because the responses are giving me the impression they don't really get what polyamory is & I'm hoping tumblr does. For reference: there's me (29M), my ex (28, Trans Man), and my partner (30M).

My ex and I were best friends in high school, went to the same college, & dated through the tail end of undergrad, for about a year and change. We ended things on very good terms, the only reason we broke up was a difference in life paths: I stayed in the city to get my Master's, he traveled constantly for his work (he's a sculptor who makes these huge custom multimedia pieces, they're genuinely some of the most beautiful things I've seen). We fell out of touch for the most part, but I'd see him popping up on social media occasionally, or he'd text me when he was in town and we'd hang out, along with some other school friends.

The last time I saw him before our present situation was about 3 1/2 years ago today. We went out for drinks, he came back to my place after, and we ended up hooking up. He stayed in town for about a week, and we hooked up a few more times, and then he left again. He sort of dropped off the face of the earth after that, but he'd always been pretty sporadic, especially when he had a big project, so I didn't think much about it.

Not long after that, I met my current partner. He's truly one of my favorite people in the whole world; he's incredibly thoughtful, and earnest, and passionate about his morals & principles (he's an environmental lawyer), and more than anything, he's someone I never feel like I have to pretend with. He asked for my number, we had our first date a few days later, and ended up staying awake the entire night just talking about anything and everything, so we went ahead and got 5am pancakes and called it our second date. We've been together for a little over 3 years now, we've been moved in together for about 2, and while we've had the occasional fight or rough patch I can definitely say I love this man, and I plan to spend the rest of my life with him.

So, the big change.

About a year ago (~2 years since seeing my ex, my partner and I have lived together for about a year at this point), my partner and I are having a night in, and there's a knock at the door. It's my ex, looking absolutely ragged, holding a 15 month old baby. As in, a baby who was conceived 24 months before then. Yep, it's pretty much what you're guessing. I let them both in, we had a sit down in the kitchen, and he told me everything he'd been doing in the past 2 years in between me cussing him out for keeping it all from me in the first place. I really do want to keep this as short as possible, so to give you the super condensed version:

She's my daughter, he's completely sure about that, there's no one else he's been with the math is even close to correct for

The second he found out he was pregnant, he more or less panicked. He's got a whole Thing about feeling like he's irresponsible/not a "real" adult, and this really set him off, so telling me felt like "admitting to fucking both our lives up" at the time. His OB/GYN said some pretty awful shit to him about not being more careful as a trans man too, which just made it all even worse

Because of all that, he'd genuinely planned to just never tell me I have a daughter & raise her completely on his own, but a few things compounded to force his hand:

The birth was really rough on him, and his recovery was slow enough he was having trouble going back to work, to the point where money was getting tight

On top of that, our daughter has celiac disease, and between paying out of pocket for blood tests & spending more on baby food she's safe to eat, things got desperate enough he went and took out a really dodgy loan from a scummy payday company

He was at our door because all of this had finally spiraled to a point where he'd lost his apartment, they'd been sleeping in his car for about a week, and he couldn't think of anything else to do

I think I was probably feeling every human emotion in existence at the same time through all of this, but the thing I remember most from the whole conversation was the way my partner kept drifting right back to the baby, and the soft way he looked at her. We put my ex & daughter up in a hotel room for the night and told him we needed to talk, and we'd discuss our options in the morning, but I think even then I kind of knew what our answer was going to be.

Sure enough, for the last year and a half we've been co-parenting our little girl, all three of us. We didn't want to juggle who's got her, or force my ex to find a place to stay, so we've turned my partner's home office into our daughter's room, and redid most of the downstairs layout so my ex could move into an actual bedroom, rather than just sleep on our pullout couch in perpetuity. We finally succeeded in convincing him that rest and recovery was more important than trying to contribute to the house finances right away, and it's been magical watching all that stress and terror slowly fall off him. It's like he's a little more alive again every time I look.

Which is where my question comes in.

I'd like to restate, I love my partner 100%. None of this changes that whatsoever. If I ask, and he says no, that will be the end of the discussion for me completely. But I have eyes. My ex is, objectively, a very attractive man. I know we work well together, and I have to admit I'm very curious to see where that same chemistry could lead now that he's not on the other side of the country half the time. I've also been noticing these little moments between him and my partner. Nothing I'd consider crossing a line, but I've caught my partner checking my ex out several times, as well as vice versa, and they get along remarkably well. Sometimes I'll go to enter a room, and see them both sitting there laughing and chatting and playing with our baby, and I'll just hang back to watch because it makes me so happy.

Add to all that, we're pretty deeply ingrained in each other's lives now. My partner and I don't often go out on dates alone anymore, but the last few times we did it felt as if my ex was missing from the table. We watched a movie together last night, and my ex sat in the middle of us with his feet in my partner's lap and his head on my chest, and it felt just as natural as my arm on my partner's shoulder. It's not about just having sex with him, and it's not that I'd want to invite any old person into our relationship. I know we already all love each other, and I think there's potential for that to become romantic between the two of us and my ex.

It just feels as though we're all holding our breath, waiting for someone else to say it first. My ex certainly isn't going to bring it up when he's living rent free in "our" home (it's his home too, but he doesn't seem to see it like that yet). My partner grew up sheltered enough that I'm not sure he's ever heard of polyamory at all, so he's not going to bring it up. That just leaves me.

My problem is, if I'm wrong about what I think I'm seeing, or if I bring it up the wrong way, I can't take it back. I don't want my partner to feel insecure or betrayed, I don't want my ex to feel pressured or put on the spot, and I definitely don't want my daughter to lose any of us, which I know could happen if we aren't all on the same page. Or worse, if we do all date and it goes badly.

Should I just keep this whole thing secret? Is that even worse? Would I be the asshole for opening this can of worms on everyone else?

Help!

[mavrintarou]

[3:33 PM] Suna Rintarou [1]

OKAY. I started something. I don't know where it's going but it's going to go somewhere.

Warning: TW - death & kidney failure disease, angst, daddy Rin (literally)

.

Rin sits with his face buried in his hands, elbows resting on his trembling knees as he tries to process the news he just received just ten minutes ago. It was the best news he’d heard in what felt like an eternity.

A matching kidney donor has been found for his little girl, Ren.

Eight months ago, his five-year-old daughter was diagnosed with kidney failure and began treatment right away. Rin and his wife did their best to stay strong and hopeful for her, but things only seemed to get worse.

Six months ago, he lost his wife and mother-in-law in a car accident. In such a short time, life had completely turned upside down for both Rin and his daughter. With trembling hands, Rin dialed his mother’s number, and she answered on the first ring.

“Rintarou?”

“Mom,” his voice cracked, and immediately, he was bombarded with questions. “No, no—everything is still the same… but I just got good news from the hospital…” he took a deep breath. They found a donor match for Ren. We’ll be going to the hospital tomorrow to get more information.”

“Oh, that is wonderful news. Thank the Gods,” she cried.

.

“The donor match currently lives in the US.”

Rin’s heart collapsed, “so… what does that mean?”

“When we submit test results to find a match, we don’t limit the search to within the country – it’s worldwide. We always consider the possibility that a match could come from anywhere,” Ren’s doctor explained, reminding them when they had agreed to allow any match. He gave a half-chuckle as if the situation amused him. “This is a unique case. The donor, a female adult, just so happens to be a vascular surgeon who specializes in kidney transplant patients. And now, she is getting first-hand experience.”

“Really?” Rin gasped.

The doctor nodded, “yes, I spoke to her directly this morning and she will fly out here with the time comes, so you do not need to worry about taking Ren abroad.”

A shaky breath is expelled from his chest and he looks down at his daughter who seems to be unaware of the conversation, just watching her iPad. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“If…” Ren’s doctor hesitated before continuing, “if you don’t mind me asking, Mr. Suna, I cannot reveal certain details I can’t disclose, but when I saw the donor’s match results, I was honestly stunned.”

Rin’s head tilted as he frowned, “why do you say that?”

The doctor frowned slightly and scratched the back of his head. “I recall when we were conducting tests, your family members all agreed to come in and see if they were a match for Ren. Was that… all of the family members?”

All immediate family members were tested as soon as Rin and his wife found out they weren’t a match for their daughter. Rin’s brow furrowed. “Yes, my wife was an only child raised by her mother. Her parents divorced, and she hasn’t seen her father since she was one year old. I only have one sister and my parents. Why? Is there a problem?”

“No problem at all, the donor has matched the blood, tissue, and antibody types and is currently undergoing a health test, and as soon as they pass, we can move forward with the next steps.”

.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, baby?” Rin murmured as he carried her into their home. With her treatment, she is often tired and vulnerable. She would sleep at odd times throughout the day.

“Am I going to get better?”

“Yes, baby. You are,” he promised, “you’re going to get better very soon.”

.

Three weeks later felt long, but according to the doctor, it was an incredibly fast process.

The donor was on their way and will arrive in a few hours. They will have to conduct one final test before proceeding to the surgery.

Rin has offered to pay for their stay while they’re in the country but they have politely declined.

 He was thankful for this person but understood why they would like to remain anonymous.

“Some donor wants to remain anonymous to protect their confidentiality and protect the recipient.”

For some reason, Rin felt an overwhelming, eager desire to meet this donor. His heart yearned to encounter this person.

.

“Go, go enjoy a night out with the twins.”

Ren hugged her teddy bear tightly, “you’ll be back later to tuck me in?”

Rin nodded, crouching down to her eye level. “Just tonight, grandma will tuck you in, is that okay?”

She nodded, “okay, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes, baby, I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll be home later but just late after your bedtime.” He kisses her forehead, “I’m just going out with uncle Osamu and Atsumu for their birthday.”

“Okay,” she answered with a  small smile, “tell them I miss them.”

Rin smiles, “I will, good night.”

.

“Thank the Gods my baby girl found a donor!” Atsumu slapped a hand over his heart. “That’s the best news I’ve heard all week.”

Osamu raised his glass of beer, “cheers boys, cheers to baby girl matching a donor.”

They all raised their glasses in sync. “Thank you, it’s wonderful news and everything is going well.”

“Are you going to meet the donor?” Atsumu asked.

Rin shook his head, “no, they want to remain anonymous.”

“So, that means you guys will never know this person who is giving their kidney to Ren?”

Rin nodded his head, “correct. It’s unfortunate, I really wish I could meet them to thank them but the best I can do is give them a card, maybe?”

“That’s a bummer,” Osamu muttered, “I understand where they’re coming from but it’s not like… you guys know each other, you know? What’s so bad about meeting each other.”

“I’m not sure either, but I’ll respect their wishes, it’s the least I can do after all they are doing for my baby girl,” Rin says, twisting his wedding band around his finger.

.

After parting ways with the twins, Rin decided to take a walk. He stuffed his hands into his jacket, the nights have become colder and colder. His wife’s favorite scarf hung loosely around his neck. It was one of the few items of hers that still had her scent and on days that he missed her more than usual, he would wear it, feeling a little closer to her.

It has been a while since he has gone out with the boys, let alone have some good beer and relax. It was much needed and he felt the buzz kick in.

It was a weekend and downtown was busy with a live crowd.

Normally he would avoid the crowd but something was pulling him towards that direction.

With a soft sigh, his feet began moving. He didn’t know where he was going, but he was going somewhere.

He needed to sober up before calling for a taxi, not wanting to return home intoxicated.

As he headed towards the busy part of town, it was like he was going through memory lane.

He is suddenly reminded of when he met his late wife Sumi seven years ago. They were set up through Osamu and his wife, Hayumi, and immediately hit it off. They married a year and a half later and welcomed their daughter shortly after.

Everything was going well, they were a happy family.

His heart nearly broke when his daughter was diagnosed with a disease that could take her away from him. His career was put on pause and he put his focus on his daughter alongside his wife.

His whole world completely shattered when he received the news his wife and mother-in-law were involved in a fatal car accident trying to make it to their daughter’s treatment.

He felt like a shell, barely living. The only thing keeping him going every day was his daughter.

A rush of school girls ran towards him, excitedly screaming as they recognized him.

“Oh my gosh! You’re Suna Rintarou!”

“Can I have your autograph!”

“Can we have a picture with you!”

Suddenly sobering up, Rin accepted the marker from one of the girls, signing his name and forcing a smile for the cameras.

“Goodness,” he murmurs, running a hand through his hair. He couldn’t help but feel a bit of life knowing he was still admired and recognized in the volleyball world.

“Excuse me, did you drop this?” A hand holding Sumi’s scarf.

“Oh,” Rin said, instinctively reaching for the scarf that was no longer around his neck. As he extended his hand to grasp it, he glanced at the person offering him. “Thank… you.”

At that moment, his world froze. It had been happening a lot lately, but this time, he truly felt everything stop. Time itself seemed to stand still as he stared into the eyes of the person before him.

How?

“Sumi?”

Her brow rose, “excuse me?” She blinked and then looked at the scarf and then up at him confused.

Rin grasped her shoulders, his eyes wide. “Sumi. Sumi?”

His grip around her tightened. His eyes scan her face. The eyes, the nose, the lips… everything looked exactly like his wife.

His breath heaved heavily, cold air burning his lungs.

He searched her eyes, finding anything that would prove it was his wife.

“You…” she breathed, her breath clouded the cold night.

He was unable to read her expression. Her eyes narrowed, in the way Sumi’s would when he and Ren was playing a trick on her.

His heart ache.

His hands drop and he turns away. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” he rubbed his face with his hands.

He was drunk.

He was hallucinating.

He turned around and the person was still standing there, looking at him with concern and hesitation. “Are you… okay?”

She looked so much like Sumi.

Exactly like her.

“You…” he blinked, tears blurring his vision. “You look - look so much like… my late wife.”

“I think you have the wrong person, I’m sorry.” She shoved the scarf into his arm and hurried away.

.

“Is something wrong?” Rin asked his daughter’s doctor who seemed to be distracted, unlike himself.

“No, Mr. Suna.”

Rin wasn’t convinced.

He had been unconvinced by anything since two nights ago when he ran into a woman who looked identical to his late wife.

Nothing made sense.

He swears by his life that he was not dreaming or hallucinating.

She looked exactly like his wife.

“It was strange,” Rin mumbled, his eyes fixed on the chipped wood of the desk. “The other night… I ran into a woman…” he trailed off, unsure of where he was going with this conversation with his daughter’s doctor. “She looked…”

“Just like your late wife.”

Rin’s eyes met the doctor’s eyes. “You’ve met her too?”

His breath caught before he softly replied, “that is your daughter’s donor.” A heavy silence settled between them. “I had a video call with her and couldn’t believe my eyes. I thought maybe… I was – seeing things? That was a similarity but then again, we were on a virtual call.” He removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I met her… in person, this morning… and she shocked the living shit out of me.”

. . .

E/n: to try and combat this writing slump, I'll be posting random writings to get back so bear with me on this bandwagon.

@queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy

[finnick002]

How to kill Mizora in act 3 without damning Wyll

A few months ago I made a reddit post on this matter. Thought I should share this tutorial with Tumblr folks too and add a few more notes plus an alternative method to it.

Players have discovered Flesh to Stone can turn Mizora into a statue, but this tutorial helps you erase Mizora's presence on the material plane. Both methods involves the use of illithid powers, meaning you have to absorb a few tadpoles. But, to quote Wyll, that's "a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things".

Method 1. Drain Intelligence -> Absorb Intellect

You need: A character who has gone through partial ceremorphosis and unlocked illithid power Absorb Intellect,

A wizard/fighter/rogue (classes that use Intelligence for spell casting) who has unlocked illithid power Ability Drain, and a cleric/druid who is at least level 9. One character may satisfy more than one roles. If you're short on tadpoles, please refer to this page for the locations to find them.

Step 1. Let the wizard/fighter/rogue attack Mizora with any attack roll spells (e.g. Firebolt) to drain her Intelligence. Alternatively, equip Infernal Rapier and melee attack Mizora. Repeat until her Intelligence is drained to 1.

Step 2. (IMPORTANT!) Let the cleric/druid prepare the spell Contagion. Cast the Contagion: Mindfire variant of it on Mizora. Wait for her to fail the saving throws 3 times. (She needs to succeed the saves 3 times to nullify this spell.)

After 3 failed saves, Mizora will turn hostile due to the spell effect and a battle commences. This step is to make sure that you can safely kill her. Otherwise, your entire camp would turn hostile, and Wyll and Ulder would no longer be your allies.

Step 3. Let the character who has gone through partial ceremorphosis use Absorb Intellect on Mizora. It is recommended that this character has a high initiative to act first. Once you successfully hit Mizora, the combat ends, your party gain 1 XP, Mizora teleports away but leaves a pool of blood on the ground.

And then she teleports back - as a disintegrating corpse that turns into a pile of ash after 1 round. No loot from her. What a shame!

Playing flute on her ash XD

Method 2. Drain Strength -> Summon Shadow -> Strength Drain

This method is very similar to the first one. You still need a cleric/druid and a character who has unlocked Ability Drain (preferably someone with high Strength), but no one needs to go through partial ceremorphosis. Instead, back in act 2 you need Gale to craft a Shadow Lantern in Moonrise Towers.

Step 1. Equip Shadow Lantern and cast Conjure Shadow Lantern Wraith to summon a Shadow.

Step 2. Let the character who has unlocked Ability Drain to drain Mizora's Strength. You have many options like melee attacking her, or throwing rotten food, boots, underwear, or anything in your inventory at her. Repeat until her Strength is drained to no higher than 3.

Step 3 is same as step 2 in method 1 - Cast Contagion: Mindfire on Mizora and wait for her to turn hostile.

Step 4. Let the summoned Shadow use Strength Drain on Mizora. She shall die in the same way.

Babygirl you do need a good rest after 7 years of abuse and torment!

So far, in my testings, dead Mizora doesn't affect Wyll's quest, nor does he have a reaction to it. However, it makes saving Ulder a bit easier: when Ulder steps outside of his cell room, the cutscene where Mizora shows up will be skipped. The spiders will still be summoned, but Ulder won't waste a turn forced to kneel.

PS. You may notice My origin Wyll here doesn't have horns but Karlach is also in my party. Some players have also discovered this way to trick Mizora in act 1, by knocking out Wyll every night until the party have entered Mountain Pass. I will post details about this after I get a reliable way to achieve it.

[arkhammaid]

— ˚₊‧⁺˖THE LIGHTNING ON TRACK | BEFORE THE FAMILY

fandom. formula one & mcu

about. y/n meets the stark clan

content warnings. written in 3rd person + headcanonish, not edited & proofread!

word count. 0.8k

notes. first 'lore' chapter!! i'm excited and hope you all like it <3 i would love some feedback hehe and any reblogs are ofc greatly appreciated!

before...

TONY STARK

y/n l/n grows up surrounded by motorsports, especially motogp. with her mother being a worldchampion, it's only natural that fast cars and bikes are her every day entertainement.

she's raised as an only child and by a single mother, she doesn't even know who her father is. and if she's honest, she doesn't care about it at all. why would she need a father, when she has already such a cool mother?

while her mother loves her independet daugher, she still thinks she should know about her father and tells her the truth. tony stark, also known as iron man, is her father. they had a short relationship, akin to an affair but it ended with both of them being extremely busy with their lives.

but just because y/n is aware who her father is, doesn't mean he's aware that he has a daughter. and he hasn't been for a long time, not until y/n's career in single seaters properly started. he regrets meeting her so late (in her teenage years) but never holds it against her or her mother.

how do the two meet? well, it's quite tragic... with her mother losing her year long fight against cancer, y/n is left alone, since her mother didn't have any close family. not wanting to end up in forster care and stop her career, she seeks out tony and shows up on his doorstep one random wednesday afternoon.

he's shocked, but pretty much believes her, when she tells him who she is. tony is of course no fool and still does a dna test, but even if it came out wrong, he would've taken care of y/n- he immediately felt a connection.

within the same week, tony gains custody of y/n and she moves to new york, but still goes to a boarding school until she's a candidate for formula 4.

PEPPER POTTS-STARK

y/n meets pepper in the same week she meets tony. not as her step-mother, but as CEO of stark industries and close friend of her father.

they immediately take a liking to each other (they both like to bully tony) and pepper can't help but feel for the lonely teen. y/n doesn't have many friends, especially close ones and with her genius mind, she always felt like an outsider. she only truly fits in with other racers, but then it's more about her talent and they're also all boys and older than her. not somehting everyone likes...

when tony finally ask pepper to marry him, y/n is their biggest supporters. pepper is incredibly touched and makes her maid of honor. she goes even so far, to ask y/n, if she would be alright with pepper adopting her. that evening, many tears were shed.

y/n loves pepper just as much she loved her own mother and sees her as another mother figure in her life. she still doesn't call her like that, but sometime she slips up and calls her 'mama', which leaves pepper flustered and deeply touched.

HARLEY KEENER

it takes a bit for tony to introduce y/n to harley, who she meets first as brother. with harley studing in MIT, he only knew that tony had something very important to talk about and wanted him to come home as soon as he could.

but it still took two months, until harley and y/n met, but luckily they hit off. harley knows what it's like to have a smaller sister, so he stepped up as big brother again, while y/n was a bit unused to no longer being an only child. but with harley being a full-time student, it felt as if she was one.

despite harley acting like an older brother to y/n, it still took a long time for them to actually grow closer. harley lost his family few years ago, but the thought of actually having a younger sister again... well, let's say he had a few things to say to his therapist.

but a few years have passed now and they're close, despite rarely seeing each other, with harley working at SI and y/n having to travel the world for her racing.

PETER PARKER

y/n meets peter as tony's intern very early, so she experiences the process of him getting adopted first hand. with both of them beings so close in age, they're close by default.

but it also helps that they have a similar humor (proud genz) and interests. peter starts focusing on engineering, just because y/n is heavily involved with it and y/n does physics and biochem work with peter, to help him as spider-man.

when peter gets adopted and becomes a proper stark, y/n set the goal to become his favorite sibling (he always talks himself out of the pick with "my favorite sister is you", fully knowing he only has one).

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ARKHAM MAID 2024

[thewulf]

Oh Baby || Aaron Hotchner

Summary: Request - hi! could you write a Hotch x reader where the reader is like a doctor so pretty much just like Derek and Savannah lol but with any plot line I just love that trope:) your writing is so good btw!

A/N: Tiny Angst / All Fluff - Thank you for the request. Short and sweet but super cute :) Super off the prompt... but enjoy!

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Y/N

Word Count: 2.1k +

Oh shit. You sucked in a breath as you sat there and stared at it. The little test that was about to change your whole world. How was it even possible? You were so damn careful. So, so careful. Oh shit. It’s not that you didn’t want any children. No, you did. You wanted Jack to have a sibling. He had practically begged you and Aaron after the first year you were together. It was never the right time though. Work always seemed to be an excuse. Life had a funny way of doing everything opposite of your plans though.

You pulled the test closer to your eyes making sure that second line was really there, “Oh, shit.” You sighed setting the pregnancy test down on the bathroom counter. Running your hands across your face it was hard to fathom what the hell this meant. Your eyebrows pulled up as you dug your palms into your face trying to think what the hell this meant. This was going to throw every kink in every plan the two of you had made. Was he going to be mad? No, of course not. Aaron never got mad at you. Never, ever.

Aaron worked long hours but so did you, if not longer. Being the only orthopedic surgeon in the surrounding area that was worth a damn had you busy. Busier than ever. You’d successfully opened up your own private practice a few years back at the encouragement of your then boyfriend Aaron, now fiancée. He’d proposed a year ago now. The two of you were busy planning the wedding, now this? A baby?

The two of you had gotten together shortly after Haley’s death. That was three years ago now. You’d been living with the Hotchner boys for the past year after Aaron had proposed and things were better than ever. Jack even helped his dad propose to you by bringing in the ring during a fancy five course meal Aaron had prepared. When he wasn’t working he was doting on your or Jack. His two favorite things in the world, he made sure both of you knew it too. He’d learned a lot after his relationship with Haley. He’d made so many mistakes he was not going to make with you. He was going to make sure of it.

You and Jack got along thick as thieves. He knew he liked you when you helped him finish a Hot Wheels track and played with him for hours. Little did he know you were having the time of your life playing with the boy. Healing your inner child as he grew with his own right next to you. He’d taught you so much in the short time you’d known him. It was hard to fathom that he was about to turn eight on you. Well, at least he was getting that sibling he kept asking for. That was if Aaron wanted to keep it. He’d want to keep it right? You looked down at your stomach and sighed, “You’re going to make my life very difficult little one.” You poked yourself lightly. What a mess this was about to be.

You hid the test in your sock drawer. Not wanting him to find it accidentally. You ran a load of laundry frowning slightly when you got to Jack’s clothing. You’d missed him dearly. He was staying with Haley’s mom for a few weeks out in Arizona for summer break. It was his first long trip away from either of you. It was breaking your heart, probably even more than his. The house was far too quiet without him running around telling you all about the latest Call of Duty game.

You weren’t expecting the elder Hotchner home either. He’d normally give you a call or shoot you a text letting you know he was on his way home. It’d only been a few days since he had to jet anyway. These trips could last a week or two depending.

Would you be all alone having to care for the little one? Would he take a step back to help out some more? Would you be expected to step back from your career? All the questions swam heavily in your mind as you flipped the laundry over. A baby. You should be so excited… but this wasn’t the plan. This was the furthest thing from the plan.

Once you finished up you put some soup on the stove to warm. Not really having the appetite for an entire meal anymore. One of the perks of having your own practice was setting the hours for yourself. The more you worked the more you made. The less you did the more you could relax but make less. A dog-eat-dog world.

You were so wrapped up in your own thoughts you hadn’t heard his SUV park, the car door slam, and the front door open and close. Aaron had to call you out by name to bring you back to this reality. The one where you were freaking the hell out.

“Y/N, honey?” He called a little louder this time.

You snapped your head around not expecting him. But low and behold there was a text on your phone from hours ago. You just failed to see it. Oh, shit. Now you had some explaining to do. Were you even ready to tell him? He had every right to know. This was just as much his baby as yours, “Aaron. Hi.” Shooting him a forceful smile you

“What’s wrong?” He asked immediately looking around the kitchen as if there was an intruder

You shook your head, “Nothing. Sorry honey. I was just wrapped up in my own head. Big case came in today.” Lie. Dirty filthy fucking liar. You hated lying to him. But you needed a second to think. You’d had all afternoon to think… but not about this. Not about telling him.

He walked over to you peeling you away from the counter you were leaning over. His eyes danced from spot to spot on your body. Checking you over. Making sure, “Is that all? You seem upset.” He frowned while brushing a strand of hair away from your face.

You opened your mouth but closed it quickly. Who did you think you were? You couldn’t hide this from him. His job was to read people. He could already read you like a damn book. He’d see right through any lame ass excuse you think you could give him.

“Sweetheart? Are you alright?” He looked concerned now. Why couldn’t you tell him?

Again, you opened your mouth, but the words failed to come out.

He took you by the shoulders, “Y/N. Honey. Come on. You can tell me.” He looked tired. So damn tired. You felt bad for doing this to him now. Ideally you’d tell him after a long sleep. After he was relaxed. Hopefully h

It just had to come out. That’s what you had to do. So, with wide eyes you spit it out at him, “I’m pregnant.”

His head cocked to the side as a smile turned up, “You’re pregnant?” The grip he had on your shoulders loosened a touch as he ran a finger along a shoulder blade gingerly. Almost as if you were the most delicate glass that could break at any moment.

You nodded almost afraid to meet his eyes, “Yeah.”

You closed your eyes breathing him in. Tears rolled down your cheeks before you buried yourself into his chest, “I’m so sorry Aaron. We’ve been careful…” You felt guilty? Guilt. That was it. Like you

He pulled you out immediately, “You’re sorry? Y/N. This is good. You’re pregnant baby! My baby is giving me a baby.” His usually stoic face broke out into a grin as he pulled you back into a hug. He squeezed you tight in his arms.

Some excitement broke through your nervous exterior seeing his joy at your bomb dropping, “You’re happy?”

“Honey.” He took your hand and pulled you to the couch right on top of him, “I’m so happy. We both want him or her.” He pointed to your belly with a look of deep admiration, “Why wouldn’t I be more than excited baby?” He pulled you in for a long kiss. A deep long kiss. He loved you so dearly. This was everything for him.

You shook your head after he broke away, “The timing is off…”

His smile calmed your nerves immediately, “The timing will never be right baby. We’ll find an excuse around every corner. Why not now?”

You felt every bit of anxiety escape down through you, “We’re going to have a baby, Aaron.”

He nodded excitedly, “We’re going to give Jack a sibling. He’d going to be beside himself.” Aaron chuckled running his fingers along your abdomen.

“Boy or girl? Which one do you want?” You asked curiously.

He shrugged, “Doesn’t matter. So long as they’re healthy. A little one of you would be really stinking cute though.” He leaned in giving your nose a quick kiss.

“I don’t know if we want to deal with all that drama.” You giggled remembering how much of menace you were from 13-19 years old. A complete menace with no regard for your parents. You grew out of it of course but it was rough there for a while.

He looked at you with the utmost love in his eyes, “She’ll be perfect. He’ll be wonderful. Life is going to get so much better baby.”

“We’re both so busy.” You didn’t want to bring down the mood, but you needed to know. To know if he had a plan. To know the both of you could figure it out.

“We’ll figure it out. If I need to step back I will. Don’t worry sweetheart.” He squeezed your side giving you a small reassurance.

“You’d do that? You love your job.” You frowned hoping

His laugh brought your eyes back level with his, “I love my job yeah. But I love you more. Love Jack more. Love this baby so much more than you can even imagine. So yes, I’ll step back if we need to. You are my priority. This baby is my priority.”

You didn’t think your love could grow more for the man but here you were. Your heart was swelling for him. It swelled for all the love you were feeling from the man of your dreams. It was by chance that you met him.

You were the on-call surgeon that night. Only on call once a month. And you’d been called in. A member of Aaron’s team had been shot and needed surgery to repair and stitch the wound back up. It was touch and go. You’d almost lost the man on the table, but he pulled through.

Aaron thinks he fell in love with you right then and there. You were the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid his eyes on. And you just saved Spencer’s life? Yeah he wasn’t going to let you slip out of his grasp. Lucky for you he didn’t. He stayed at the Hospital until the end of your shift. In panic he asked for your number in case he didn’t see you again.

It started as quick coffee dates when he was in town. It progressed quickly to you babysitting Jack and facetiming Aaron more often than you wanted to admit. You were smitten, quick. The rest was history. Sure, he was a bit older than you, but it was everything you could’ve asked for and then more. He was the kindest, sweetest, most thoughtful guy you’d been with. You were happier than you’d ever been. You’d worked through the struggles of both your jobs and the lack of being around. Thank goodness you did because you’d ended up with him. You’d had the pleasure of falling in love with him.

“You’re my priority too Aaron. I can always find another surgeon for the practice. Stay home for a while.” You grinned thinking about it. How lucky would you be if you could pull that off?

“We’ll do whatever you what baby.” He pulled you back in so you were laying on his chest, “We’re having a baby.”

You smiled up at his giving his cheek a quick kiss before nuzzling into his neck, “We’re having another little Hotchner.”

He held you in his arms laughing just thinking of the chaos, “Good luck to us.” He was so excited. So beyond excited to do it with you.

Permanent Taglist (Message me or comment below if you want to be added!): @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556

[tetrakys]

A few thoughts on the Halloween event

The first event of New Gen was released today, and as usual there are some positives and negatives. I'll start with the negative and put everything under spoiler.

Negatives

The system in my opinion isn't well calibrated. I personally hate gatcha, years ago I swore to myself I would never play another gatcha game in my life. But alas most games have some form of gatcha embedded mechanic, and I know generally people are not as negative toward them as I am. However, even if I want to set my personal feelings aside and try to be completely objective, there are some issues.

I think it all boils down to: games should either have a luck component or a timing/difficulty component. At the moment the event relies both on luck (the gatcha and the minigame) and timing (it's too short). This means that while it's impossible for f2p players to complete the event in full, it's also extremely expensive for them (and everyone else) to catch up.

Side note: I don't think it's outrageous that f2p can't complete the event in full. If we look at other games it's basically the case everywhere (I'm thinking of Ikemen games especially, but also MLQC and other similar mobile games). Companies have to make money somehow so it makes sense that they incentivise people to invest in the game with additional rewards. The issue here is that by adding too many obstacles what is achieved isn't a desire to invest some money to keep playing, but only a feeling of frustration that puts people off completely.

I did the math, f2p players by entering the event every day will only be able to obtain around 10-12 items when the total is 25 (including clothes, room elements and moments with the crushes), which makes for only 40% of the event. The gap is too large. If it had been 70-80% instead, maybe some players would've felt encouraged to spend something on the event to complete it, but when you're missing more than half and would need around 650-750 gems the feeling is instead anger mixed to a resigned 'what's the point?'.

Of course there is the possibility of someone being extremely lucky and obtaining perfect scores at the minigame and also unlocking all the dates and items they really care about in those free rolls they are able to obtain. It is true that not everyone wants to maximise the event and unlock all clothes and scenes. In which case yes, the event would be very convenient to them. But 40% odds of obtaining exactly what you want are still too low in my opinion.

Hence why I think this would be solved by either making the minigame easier, or extending the event for a few extra days.

Positives

There are indeed some very positive aspects. The outfits and items are all really pretty in my opinion, plus I already mentioned being a fan of how the crushes look like in their Halloween attire.

But what I think is the main improvement of this event is the scenes spent with the crushes, they seem to be much longer than what we used to have in the old game. Plus personally I really liked these scenes, they were both funny, cute and a bit romantic/hot. I can tell it's an early days event because there's nothing overtly romantic going on, but it feels right for the pace of the game. Also, I think all illustrations are 10/10 chef's kiss (I wiiiish Jason's illu had been a bit darker, with a dangerous/spicy undertone, but alas that's just my personal taste).

Also, what really sold me on these scenes is that they are all saved in our library, and we can replay them in full whenever we want and even pick different choices. This gives my completionist soul so much relief, I've always hated that I couldn't test different choices in past events without spending most of the event currency.

So, in conclusion, there are both things that work and don't work in this event, I hope for Christmas and Valentine the high quality of art and scenes will be kept and the system will be reworked to make it less frustrating for everyone.

[prismaticfaery]

Little Bunny

John Price x Fem!Reader

Summary: Never in a million years would Captain Price think that he'd have a chance at a family, but with how dangerous his profession was and his chances of becoming a father becoming a reality, you and him have to learn the hard way that moving on is the best you both can do.

**TW: Pregnancy, vomiting, swearing, mentions of sex, alcohol, labor, childbirth, anxiety, panic, angst, unrequited love. (Forgive me if I miss any!)

Rating: Mature

This is not short, it's 10K words! Also, don't expect too much of a happy ending!

Part Two

A/N: I was debating posting this for so long out of fear it was trash, please be gentle with me! To add, termination is always going to be your choice and it’s okay to consider that option!

Fluorescent lights hung overhead, your eyes poorly adjusting to the harsh lights as you fumbled with a pen nervously between your fingers. You had filled out a small packet of papers on a clipboard, the receptionist telling you that your doctor would see you soon and to make sure every bit of information was filled in. When you had initially told the receptionist that it would only be you when she asked if you were accompanied by a partner for a confirmation of pregnancy ultrasound, she gave you a look, and you knew she was silently judging you for your situation. 

“Y/N?” You hear a nurse call out while propping a door open, breaking you out of your trance.

It was two weeks ago when you had realized your period was late, your work schedule and general hecticness in your life made you suspect that it was stress at first but when your period never showed even a week later, and with having a pretty normal cycle, you darted to the commissary on base and bought two boxes of pregnancy tests– two different brands to make sure. Yeah, you had been more tired lately, and you had lost your appetite more than a few times, but you knew that those could also be normal premenstrual symptoms. 

With your uniform pants and panties down to your ankles, you held two different pregnancy test in your hands, the trembling in your arms and hands from fear only became worse when the test slowly turned positive. With a harsh breath in, you hold it for a moment, fresh tears stinging your eyes when you finally release your breath. Your body felt frozen in place, unsure of what to do next. Do you tell him now? Do you wait? You were on birth control and never missed a dose, but of course, it’s not always foolproof. You weren’t even with the baby’s father on an exclusivity level, only really depending on each other for comfort and pleasure when you both needed it– not to mention he was your Captain, your superior. 

A hiccup leaves your throat, the metaphorical golf ball stuck in your throat nearly choking you as you place your head in your hands, those fresh tears gathering in the corners falling into your hands. You were active duty in the SAS and newly recruited into Task Force 141, though just a Sergeant, and you were living in the barracks, which was not the place to bring a baby up in, nor was it even allowed. You weren’t prepared for a baby to come along, and you knew that your Captain had no intention of having children while he always had a target on himself. You knew he wouldn’t take this news well. 

“It looks like you’re reaching nine weeks, strong heartbeat at 168 bpm– see it here?” the doctor pointed to the tiny fluttering heart on the ultrasound monitor. 

“I do,” you smile lightly, your eyes never leaving the small floating jelly bean that jerked and wiggled inside of your body. 

“Do you have support at home?” The doctor asked, her eyes meeting yours with a certain softness, knowing that you checked your marital status as “single”.

“Well I have my mother, but as for the other half of the child, he won’t be very happy,” you say, sitting up and adjusting the paper blanket draped across your nude bottom half. 

“Reach out to your mother, okay? Best of luck with everything,” the doctor takes her leave, giving you the privacy to clean up and put your uniform back on. 

You sat for a moment, the silence deafening save for the nurses speaking at their station outside the exam room door. You peek over at the ultrasound monitor, which had been paused on a picture of your tiny baby. Your heart ached, and you found yourself struggling to turn your head away, until a knock at the door sounded. 

“Here are your papers, there’s also a script for prenatal vitamins and some brochures,” the nurse smiles, handing you the small stack, “take care of yourself.”

The door closes behind the nurse and you decide that it’s time to finally get dressed. You wipe the ultrasound gel from your abdomen and lower region, and silently slip your clothing back on, your eyes never leaving the monitor until you notice a small black and white photo had been printed and attached to your after appointment papers. Your heart skipped, quickly tearing the photo from off of the stack to hold in your hands, your little baby’s side profile had been captured and you could see the tiny arms and legs scrunched up to its body. 

Checking the time on your watch, you pick up speed, remembering that you had a debriefing on a Task Force affair with your Captain soon and you were definitely going to be late arriving at it. You knew he wouldn’t be happy with your lack of punctuality, but you had proof that you were tied up in a last minute affair. 

Once arriving back at base, you could see the familiar form of Soap who was also a late arrival to the debriefing, but you knew it was because of his poor time management skills, or he was just waking up from one of his naps. Placing a hand on his shoulder, he spins around in a wild fashion. 

“Good grief, ya scared the shite out of me,” Soap held a hand to his chest. 

“Sorry, I was just curious if we could walk together to the debrief,” you question, your eyes pleading for him to agree as to save yourself from being individually called out by your Captain. 

Soap nods, his longer legs falling into step with yours, “you’re not usually late to these things, something must have had you tied up,” Soap scratches his head, yawning into his unoccupied hand.

“Oh you know, women’s issues,” you shrugged, Soap wincing at your words. 

“Ah, I don’t think you need to explain,” he chuckles, knowing damn well that he was treading into territory he was very familiar with, having to be around female soldiers– especially with being around you so much– taught him more than enough. 

Opening the door to the small debriefing room, you could see Ghost leaning back in his chair, one leg over the other while his arms crossed against his chest, his usual black balaclava covering his face. Gaz was in the seat adjacent to Ghost, his face blank– an almost bored expression showing. 

Price’s body language was showing very clear annoyance as he watched you and Soap enter, the awkwardness in the room causing you to fumble into your seat, the loud scraping of the chair leg against the tile floor made Price audibly sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose. 

“You two are late, don’t let this happen again or I’ll have you assigned cleaning duty for a week,” Price points his finger first at Soap, then at you, your eyes casting downwards in embarrassment. 

As the debriefing went on, you could feel the familiar crystalline blue eyes of your Captain steal glances of you. You make yourself small and scarce in the meeting, your arms folding across your upper body and your body slinking into your chair. You felt strange about having such a huge secret being hidden away from your Captain who was more than deserving to know about it, but you needed time to formulate a plan on how you were going to carry out telling him. It would be better to tell him sooner than later though because you could be deployed at any time and that would be a dangerous situation for you and the life that was growing inside of you. 

“Ghost, you and Gaz will be going to Russia for some recon, I need intel– any intel on where they’re moving next,” Price nods his head in Ghost’s direction, handing Gaz a debriefing packet on his and Ghost’s deployment that they’ll go over together at a later time. 

You feel your body tense as a very heavy wave of nausea washes over you, Soap noticing your eyes fluttering and your skin becoming ashen and shiny from sweat. Pushing his seat out with the back of his legs, Soap rushes over to the trash bin, knowing all too well you wouldn’t make it yourself. He shoves the bin into your lap where you attempt to shield yourself with your arms as you empty the contents of your stomach. Gaz winces, and Ghost is pretty much unbothered but keeping a watchful eye on you. 

“You alright?” Price askes as he makes his way over to your hunched over form. 

“No, I really need to go,” you heave a sigh, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. 

“Leave that, I’ll have someone clean it,” Price nods, motioning for you to leave. 

Long having discarded your uniform, you sat on your bed, staring at the white wall across the room. So many thoughts flooded your brain, and you felt like you were losing control of everything in your life all in the span of a few hours. You were young, and still inexperienced in life, halfway to reaching your thirties. The dried yet still sticky feeling of tears coated your cheeks and you felt like your heart would leap out of your chest every time you even thought of mentioning this pregnancy to Price. How the hell was he going to take it?

You knew that it would go two ways most likely– one: he’d walk away and break all contact, or two: he would tell you that he would support you and the baby, but would not be present.

A knock on your door broke you out of your thoughts, your voice cracking as you told the visitor to come inside. Price’s tall body stands in the doorway for a second before stepping inside and closing the door behind him softly. He knew it was risky coming into your room so early in the evening but he was willing to take that chance. 

“Everything alright? Soap said you were dealing with something– didn’t know the pain got so bad for you during that time of the month,” Price sits beside you on your bed, his taller form making yours tiny in comparison. 

“I’m alright, I just need to rest,” your voice is small with a tinge of exhaustion, playing into Soap’s assumptions of you being on your period. 

“You been crying, love?” Price’s large hand caresses your neck, his thumb dancing across your cheek soothingly.

“A little, yeah,” you smile softly, leaning into his touch. 

“You want to tell me about it?”

“Not really, if that’s okay?” Your breath catches in your throat, you knew damn well you should tell him, but fear froze you in place. 

“I understand, hormones and all that lot can be difficult,” Price sighs, the hand that rested on your neck falling back into his lap. 

You suck in a breath as his words repeat in your head. Did he already know? Or did he have an inkling of an idea? No, that wasn’t possible. 

You feel the familiar burn of bile rising into your throat, your legs making a mad dash for the bathroom across your small barracks room. Heaving what little was left in your stomach, you could feel your Captain’s cool hands gather your loose hair from your sweat covered neck and forehead. As you breath in and out heavily, a soft cry escaping your lips from the horrifying nausea pounding through your body, you feel Price’s free hand rub soothing circles along your back. 

“You’re alright, sweet girl, let it out,” the deep gravel in his voice was soothing. 

You gag and heave one last time before you begin to feel like the nausea is subsiding, Price’s arm reaching over to flush the toilet and then bring your body back to lay against him as he leaned back against the tub. Your shorter legs are pulled up to your chest as his thick arms engulf you. 

“I’m pregnant,” a sob escapes your throat, a trembling hand brought up to your now teary eyes, wiping away any stray tears that escape. 

Everything goes silent around the two of you, and you could tell John was formulating his response and keeping himself from reacting in a way he would regret. His arms go slack around you and you begin sobbing even harder at his action. 

“Did you not take your pills?” Was all he could muster asking. 

“I did, I did-!” you cry, turning your body to face him now. 

“Y/N, you know what this could do to us– to me, right?” Price’s voice was dangerously low now, a look of pure anger painted on his face. 

You knew all too well what this situation could do to you both. Demotion, dishonorable discharge, enemies who had a target on both of you– but more specifically him, would know that there is something precious and innocent that could be easily taken away. 

Price goes quiet, his eyes downcast as he thinks to himself for a moment, “I think you should consider your options.”

“So that’s it? You’re putting all of this on me?” your heart begins to sink into your stomach, knowing damn well that this was his way of telling you that he wanted to cut all contact and act like this situation never happened. 

“What will you have me do, Y/N, hm?” He points a finger at himself, the tip poking into his hardened chest. 

“At least consider options with me– it takes two-!”

“No, Y/N. No,” Price rises to his feet, leaving you in a puddle of anxiousness on the bathroom floor, your eyes frantically watching his hand swing the bathroom door open. 

“Please don’t–,” you reach an arm out to him, but he’s gone so quickly from your sight. 

You find out the next day that you were pardoned from work, formation, and PT for a full month, knowing that Price did this to allow you time to think about what to do with the pregnancy. You hardly left your room, and when you did, it was usually just to eat and do laundry. Soap tried to stop you a few times to catch up and ask how you were doing, but you instead offered a smile and a quick, “I’ve gotta go,”. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried out of his mind for you, sad eyes watching you disappear down the hallways. He was often your partner in missions and would offer a helping hand if and when you needed it. Maybe he just needed to wait for you to come to him? He would always wait for you. 

You stared at your discharge papers for days, the blanks filled out neatly, and the pen you used sat atop the thin packet. You were sure that this is what you wanted, and this would save John from the possibility of having everything he worked so hard for to be snatched away. No one would know he was the father of the baby, and you weren’t going to make him be something he didn’t want to be. You wouldn’t inform him of the gender, due date, name– anything, if he didn’t want to know, in which you knew he wouldn’t. 

You wanted to make this as easy as possible– slowly cutting off your military life, and going back home to make a new life for yourself and for your baby. Your mother was in agreement, telling you to come home and to get yourself back on your feet, that she’d be happy to watch over the baby while you worked. You would have your childhood room back and your mother’s cooking, and that was enough to put a smile on your face even for just a moment through the rough patch. She knew that having support was the most important thing for you. 

You gather the papers in your hands, tapping them on the counter to even them out. Taking a moment to think one last time if this was truly what you wanted, you let out a shaky breath, leaving your room and making your way to John’s office, your fingers grasping the papers tight enough to wrinkle them. 

You knock three times on Price’s door, waiting for him to call out an answer for you to enter, “come in,” you finally hear him say. 

He straightens in his desk chair, the air in the room becoming thick and tense. He looks to be stressed out, his hand soon covering his forehead as he attempts to relax. You sit in one of the two chairs across from his desk, sliding your filled out discharge paperwork over to him. Price’s vascular arm reaches over to grab the papers, keeping his eyes on you the whole time. At first, he thinks that these are adoption papers for the baby, in which he would sign the parts that said “father’s information”, but he soon realizes that’s not what he was given. 

“You’re leaving the military?” his eyes darted up to look at you. 

“I won’t make this difficult. You don’t need to know a thing if you don’t want to, you won’t need to be present, just sign those papers and we’re gone.” 

“The Task Force needs you,” Price’s voice falters, his usual soft tone you were so used to is back. 

“I want to raise this baby, John– our baby,” you feel yourself spiraling, your hormones making it difficult to keep your composure. 

You could see his eyes flutter closed, his body shaking as he releases a large huff from his lungs, “you’ll be discharged immediately. I don’t want to see a trace of you left in that room.”

“Yes, sir.”

You had very little to pack up in your room, your mother having come from London to help you carry anything heavy. Soap had stopped by your room after hearing the news that you were being discharged. His thoughts soared wildly as he watched your mother pack away your things as you carried out items to her car, thinking of how sick you must have been to have to leave the military immediately. You must have been in need of serious medical treatment to just drop everything and leave. His form standing outside your door caught your mother’s attention, making his entire body tense. Turning on his heel, he prayed to whatever or whomever that your mother hadn’t seen the stray tear fall down his cheek. 

Your civilian clothing felt a little tight around your lower abdominal area, your belly poking out slightly, bloating from the pregnancy hormones and constipation since the baby was still very tiny to make an appearance quite yet. You were half tempted to keep your jeans unbuttoned but with it being so hot out, your shirt was cropped right above your belly button. You had to keep cool somehow and you weren’t sacrificing your style for your growing belly. You and your belly bump can be stylish together. 

“Is this the last of it, darling?” Your mother questions, placing the last box in the trunk of her sedan. 

“Yes,” you answer, looking around one last time before opening the passenger door of the car and slipping inside. 

Your eyes caught a glance of Price, who was outside on the training field with a group of soldiers. He was looking right at you, and it sent a flood of different emotions to wash over you. Tears stung your eyes, your throat swelling as you tried your best to keep yourself from falling apart. You were prepared to do this whole parenthood thing alone, but you were hoping that you would at least have him present for the sake of the child– not even for the sake of you because you weren’t what mattered in this situation. 

You had fallen madly for him but your job had made it very apparent that feelings for your superior could be a whirlwind of repercussions to pay. You had to play it safe in the shadows. John would have been a liar if he said he hadn’t also felt the same feelings as you, but kept it no more than a hook-up every once in a while. This was the most difficult decision you could ever make– deciding to walk away. 

It had taken you weeks to acclimate to civilian life after being in the military for so long. You were freshly 18 and had just graduated secondary school when you joined the Royal Army, just entering your mid 20’s when you passed selection for the SAS, Price was the first to congratulate you, shaking your hand and offering you a warm smile, the creases in the corners of his eyes sending you into a tizzy– goodness he was so handsome. His face was shaved then however. You loved his chops when he started growing them out, your eyes catching his own as he carefully combed through the thick auburn beard hairs with a sandalwood comb in the middle of his debriefings. 

You sat at the dining room table of your childhood home, scanning over the words on your laptop screen. You had gotten a new job and you were going to start working remotely from the house, which was perfect because of the baby coming around February. You had since gotten into a new doctor’s office, your mother accompanying you for support. Her face lit up when she saw the baby floating around on the screen, their little arms covering the front of their face. You had cried more than you liked and your nausea had increased dramatically once leaving the base. You thought it may have been from the stress of leaving your old life behind intermingling with the pregnancy hormones. 

Your mother was a huge support, telling you that you could take time to yourself before you found a civilian job. You waved her off however, saying that she had no business having to pick up the slack for her adult child. She had already taken to knitting small items for the baby, and your favorite was the small floppy bunny beanie that was a light cream color, the inside of the ears a dusty pink. 

“Have any of your military friends contacted you since leaving?” Your mother asks, peeking up from the cream colored blanket she had started days previous. 

“Soap has, but he ended up being deployed before I could answer. He probably thinks I’m dying with having left so suddenly when I was experiencing morning sickness during debrief,” the sigh that left your lips was a sad one, as Soap was someone you had grown quite close to over the years of being in the same barracks and then being on the Task Force together for a short period of time. 

“Well hopefully you can remain friends,” the nimble fingers of your mother placed a stitch marker into the blanket. 

“One can hope,” you lie. 

You were entering your 20th week of pregnancy– halfway to the finish line is what your mother said to you that morning. Her excitement was easy to spot as today was the day you would find the gender of the baby out. Your belly had grown some, but not enough for it to be immediately recognized as a baby bump. Maybe you just ate an entire pizza? 

Drinking the last bit of orange juice, to which your mother swore would make the baby more lively in your belly during the ultrasound, you look over the texts in your phone, Soap’s name popping up suddenly. It catches you off guard when you open the text, seeing a picture of Ghost and Price out on the firing range, Price’s hat sitting on top of Ghost’s head as he lay prone on the ground with a sniper rifle. Price had his arms crossed and was seeming to refuse being in the photo, his hand covering his face. Soap hadn’t sent so much as a “hi” in weeks, and you had hoped that he just moved on from the thought of you staying in touch with your old roots. Closing out of the text app, you place your phone face down on the kitchen counter, your heart dropping. You just won’t reply, just like you had been doing before. 

Patiently waiting in the exam room at the midwife’s office, you placed a hand on your belly, hoping that soon you would finally be able to feel movement. Your midwife said it’s normal to not have movements until now or even a little later but you were so impatient. Once entering the room, the midwife went over her routine questions, and took your blood pressure. 

“Your blood pressure is a bit elevated, are you getting enough water and rest?” The midwife asks, placing herself on the stool next to the ultrasound machine. 

“Mum wouldn’t let me live it down if I weren’t,” you answer. 

“I believe it,” the midwife chuckles, looking over at your mother who had taken a seat next to you on the exam table, “I would like for you to continue what you’re doing, and if you’re feeling any strange symptoms like dizziness, faintness, seeing stars in your vision, or pains in your chest or ribs, go to the hospital immediately.”

You nod your head, and the midwife starts setting your ultrasound up, helping you lie back on the bed as soon as she’s done. Unbuttoning your jeans, she places a flannel over the top of your jeans to keep the gel from staining them. The lights are then turned off and you begin to relax and clear your mind, ready to see your baby after weeks of waiting. Squeezing a large amount of gel onto your abdomen, the midwife places the transducer of the ultrasound machine onto the mound of gel, rubbing it around to find where the baby is positioned. 

“Look at those little puckered lips,” the midwife smiles down at you.

“Oh darling, look at that sweet baby,” your mom was in tears, her emotions always outmatched yours. 

As the midwife continues looking at the baby through the monitor, she takes her time going through all of the anatomy of the baby, noting it on the keys of the machine. Your hand was being squeezed so hard by your mother, you thought that your circulation might be cut off after so long. The tiny fingers of the baby were by their mouth, their legs stretching out and scrunching back up. 

“What were your bets on the gender, mum?” the midwife asks your mother, the two smiling at each other. 

“That’s a little girl in there.”

“Mum is correct,” the midwife points her finger to the wiggling baby, a clear picture of the baby’s gender boldly displayed. 

You’re going to have a little girl, Captain. 

Squealing with delight with fresh tears coating her cheeks, your mother squeezed your arm and kissed your cheek, “I’m so proud of you. I’m a grandma to a baby girl.”

While there was downtime, Price often grabbed drinks with the Task Force, his usual military uniform shed and his dog tags resting on his bedside table. The black jumper he wore had gotten a little loose, his appetite scarcely there since you told him about your pregnancy. His anxiety made his mind wander more than he liked. How were you doing? Was your belly finally popping out? Did you start purchasing baby items? He would always ground himself after some time, his internal voice telling him that this was for the safety of himself, and the safety of you and the baby. His baby. But not his baby at the same time, he made that clear with you all those weeks ago. 

Clutching a rocks glass in his hands at the bar, Price took a quick swig of the amber liquid as Soap sat to his right, scrolling through his social media timeline. Ghost was at the pool table across the bar, talking with Gaz, who had just taken a shot at a cue ball. It had been raining for days straight, the cool air flowing into the bar with each time the door opened. Were you also experiencing this weather? Or had you gone countries away to escape staying in the same country as your former friend with benefits with whom you now had forever ties with? 

“You know, Y/N’s social media was deactivated and she never answers my texts. I wonder if she’s okay?” Soap mumbled, unable to put his mind at ease as to where you went or what happened to you. 

“She was honorably discharged from the special forces, she’s probably cutting ties with her old life as much as possible,” Price’s voice was grim, however Soap didn’t quite catch on. 

“That’s not like her though– she used to post everyday–!” Soap gestured his hand to his phone, his social media app still open. 

“I think it’s best to allow her to move on,” Price slammed the rest of his whiskey, placing the glass back down on the bar with a loud clunk, “she’s been shot, wounded, seen death, caused death, stayed in hospital for weeks altogether in her career– she deserves peace.”

“She was ill, Captain,” those baby blue eyes of Soap’s were now filled with worry. 

“You said it yourself: she was experiencing her time of the month.”

“You’ve turned cold recently Captain–.”

“Move on, Soap. That’s the best you can do, for her sake and yours.”

Soap’s emotions were crushed, his heart sinking to the very bottom of his belly. Price knew Soap always cared too much, and that’s what set him apart from many people who had grown a bit cold and cynical while in the SAS– like Ghost for example. It was time for everyone to move on, it had been many weeks since your departure, and the only one who seemed to hold on the most was Soap… at times. Price struggled too but he was a Captain, he needed to be a leader and offer guidance to his soldiers, even if it wasn’t what they wanted to hear, but needed to hear. 

Holding his glass up to signal the barkeep for another pour, Price sighs, watching Soap scroll some more on his social media timeline, hitting the search bar and typing in anything and everything he could think of just to find you. He then sees him type in your mother’s name, his body language picking up in relief when a profile popped up, he just hoped your mother’s timeline wasn’t completely private. 

“Shite,” Soap mutters, disbelief flooding his tone, “she’s fuckin’ pregnant?” 

The Captain’s heart might as well have stopped beating right then and there when he heard Soap. Looking over at Soap’s phone, Soap adjusted the phone to show Price the screen, a post from two weeks ago exclaiming that you had just found out about the gender, a picture of you attached with a pink cupcake in your hand. 

“It’s a girl,” Price stared at the photo of you for way too long, his eyes softening when he saw that pregnancy glow, your cheeks becoming more filled out, and the swell in your lower belly being caressed by your hand. 

“Lucky lad, the father is,” Soap locked his phone, placing it face down on the bar, soon cradling his head in his hands. Soap is now trembling, a relieved yet saddened sigh leaving his mouth. 

Yeah, a lucky lad he would have been in a different world. 

Lying in the bath, the bubbles that had been added to the water thick and covering most of your body, your hands rested on your belly, rubbing the soft and stretched skin gently. Twenty two weeks along and you still hadn’t felt movements, and it was starting to worry you. Most people felt movement already. Sinking lower into the warm bath water, you feel the tension in your shoulders release after having worked all day. Come to think of it, your desk was still in a disarray with papers and pens and you had no energy to clean it up at the moment. 

Stilling yourself in the water and staring ahead at the faucet, you notice your stomach twitch, thinking that at first it was just a reflex, until it happened a few more times. You place the tips of your fingers where the twitches were happening, flinching when you could feel little taps. 

“Is that you in there, trying for your mummy’s attention?” You whisper, and another tap could be felt. 

Tears escape your eyes, quickly rolling down your cheeks when you think about how John is missing out on these moments. He would never be able to feel his little girl’s first movements. You wanted to imagine him being right there after you called out his name, his large hand reaching down into the tub, brushing softly against your swollen belly. He would wait patiently, at first discouraged that he missed those little kicks. Until finally, those little taps started up again, his baby blue eyes lighting up as he felt the tiniest movements against his palm. 

Wiping your tears away with the butts of your palms, you let out a shaky breath, attempting to ground yourself as much as you can in this moment, knowing that tears and sadness were not going to help get yourself through this. But it did feel good to cleanse your soul with a few tears after they built up for so long. 

When John had gotten to his room back at the barracks after downing three glasses of whiskey, he could feel his body give out from under him as soon as he shut the door behind him. His back slides down the door, his bottom meeting the cold tile, hands cradling his face as he chewed his bottom lip raw, the dull sting of the open wound radiating on his mouth. Hot torrents of anxiety begin to course through his body, tears stinging his eyes as he feels like he might crawl out of his skin. Clawing at his jumper collar, he feels like he’s suffocating, his breaths uneven and raspy. 

He missed you– missed those nights where he crawled into bed with you, your limbs entwining in a warm and comforting embrace after a hard day of work. His hands would search for the feeling of your soft skin in the darkness, only to feel an empty coldness on the sheets where your body should have been. You weren’t even his and vice versa but his attachment to you was obviously present from the beginning. His eyes always sought you out in the room, always scanning the battlefields to make sure you were safe. He should have pulled out all those times, knowing damn well that no birth control was 100% effective, other than abstinence or sterilization. He had gotten too comfortable with you, too lost in the warmth, the comfort you brought him. The smiles and the joking, the playful smacks you would give him, the wrestling and tickling matches that very often turned into that hot and heavy sex that left you both breathless and in a heavy daze. 

John knew he needed to move on, and to allow you the opportunity to live a happy and safe life with the baby, away from the military, the SAS, and the Task Force, but he was stuck on the idea that things could have been so different. If his duties weren’t so important– ridding the world of everything ugly and scary, meaning that his daughter wouldn’t have to one day live in fear, he would do it a million times over. No matter how much it hurt– no, how much it killed him, or how difficult it was to go day after day not knowing who or what she might be when she finally came into the world. How he’d never be able to see you become the mother you talked about being one day, holding a brand new baby while coming down off of the adrenaline, sweat still clinging to your forehead and cheeks. How he wanted so badly to witness that ecstatic yet exhausted “I did it,” come from your mouth, your tired eyes peering up at him. Being your support system while you struggled to nurse, changing the baby’s first nappy, letting you rest while he gently rocked and soothed the fragile bundle, whispering how much he loved her already. 

“Fuck–!” Price shouted, throwing his car keys across the room. 

At 32 weeks, your baby shower took place, friends that had kept in contact with you over the years came, as well as family members that you hadn’t seen in some time. You were in a comfortable maxi dress as your belly had gotten too big and it felt like the skin on your belly was always itchy so the soft fabric of the dress played a part in keeping that feeling away. There was a mountain of gifts that sat around the recliner in the den and you were overwhelmed with how much people cared to spoil the baby this much. 

As you sit in the recliner unwrapping the gifts, you smile for the pictures your mom begged to take so she could show you off, holding up each and every item you received. Blankets, nappies, outfits, baby gear, necessities, and even postpartum kits sat in a corner neatly. You were crying, feeling so undeserving of the kindness, but as your family and friends saw you, they all offered their comfort in the form of words of affirmation and bone crushing hugs. That you were loved and supported in this particularly difficult and confusing time. Your friends and family would have loved John. 

Your mother brings in another gift out of nowhere, her arms barely able to wrap around it, let alone carrying it over to you. Confused, you make her drop it, your body lifting from the recliner to help her set it down, her hand waving you off to not help her with something so heavy in your condition. She gives you a look and shrugs, saying there was no name on the gift. Tearing the wrapping paper off, you see a beautiful bassinet pictured on the large box. No one had fessed up to getting the gift for you, so you sat confused for longer than you would have liked as everyone else mingled. 

It had taken days for Price to figure out what he wanted to do for your upcoming baby shower. Your mother had posted an event, not realizing it was a public post, and fortunately for John, he knew your address from your paperwork and files. He found the sweetest bassinet, a cream color with a lacey pink border. It had a little storage area at the bottom so that you could keep any baby items at arm’s reach. Once he had put his payment and your address in, he hit the confirm button. He just hoped it would arrive on time. 

Sitting back in his desk chair, he listened to the busy hallways in which soldiers congregated and conversed while on their down time. His mind wandered to the most recent pictures your mother had posted, and your belly had grown bigger and you smiled so large. He imagined lying in bed, shirt removed, sweatpants on, your warm body next to his in a night dress that had become too short on you with your bump, his hand caressing the bottom of your abdomen, whispering sweet words. You were pressing your lips to his own, lingering for a moment and breathing in each other’s breath. 

“God, I hope you’re doing alright,” Price’s voice came out in a near whisper. 

Work has become a distraction of sorts, the meeting on your screen with several of your coworkers becoming something like a white noise as your mind wanders, your pen hanging loosely between your fingers as you stare into the void. A plate of biscuits and a cup of tea had been placed on your desk almost an hour ago by your mother, but they hadn’t been so much as even touched. You had a pretty significant headache that had gnawed away at the back of your head for the past few days that not even a paracetamol here and there helped. Thinking that the hormones had everything to do with it, you brushed it off without a second thought. 

“Y/N, what do you think about this?” Your coworker asks, pulling you from your thoughts. 

“I think it’s a great idea,” you answer, nodding and smiling into your webcam. 

Catching the fully set up bassinet that had been put in the other corner of the room in your video feed, you smile, placing your hands on your now nearly full term belly– 36 weeks to be exact. Your coworkers dismissed the meeting after agreeing to start the new project that had been outlined for a few weeks now, the small details and start date finally figured out. 

You stand from your desk chair, a hand placed on the underside of your belly to keep your center of gravity balanced and to keep your pelvis from hurting from the weight of your belly. The dress you wore swayed as you waddled over to the corner of the room where all of the baby’s things had been set up. Grunting as your knees bend to the floor, you drag the hospital bag you had been slowly putting together over the past few days. There were folded onesies, and knitted cardigans that you still had yet to pack away, as well as a small bag of toiletries. John would have chewed you out for being so carefree on such important things such as the hospital bags. He would have had his bag packed for weeks and sitting at the front door. 

Wincing from a twinge of pain in your chest, you stop what you’re doing for a moment to wait for it to subside. It could have been a trapped gas bubble– pregnancy and all of its little quirks. When the pain doesn't subside, you attempt to get onto your feet, but cry out when the pain worsens. 

“Mum–!” You cry out, bracing your hand on the bassinet and clutching your chest. 

Hearing your mother stomp up the stairs quickly, she barges into the room, rushing to your side and helping you up, “what happened, sweetheart?” she questions, eyes wide. 

“I’m having really bad pains in my chest,” you begin to cry, hot tears pooling in your eyes, scared out of your mind for the baby. 

After little to no convincing, your mother packed you and the bags into the car. It felt like the longest drive to the hospital ever, the diaper bag sitting in your lap and your own hospital bag at your feet, the baby kicking the wind out of your lungs, so you thought that she was hopefully doing just fine with all of her movements. There was a fresh sheet of snow on the ground and icicles formed on the trees, the freezing January air nipping at your skin. 

A nurse brought your mother and yourself over to triage, hooking you up to a non-stress test, the nodes placed cozily around your stomach, and wrapping a blood pressure cuff around your upper arm that was inflating and squeezing the life out of you. You knew that 140/90 was not where a pregnant person’s blood pressure should be, and you were certain the nurse was going to have you pee in a cup to check for proteins. 

Sure enough, you had to pee in a cup, handing it over to the nurse when you were finished and it was a hard enough feat to reach under your belly. Thankfully though, the non-stress test wasn’t alarming, the baby’s heart rate staying in a normal range even with the issues you were facing. 

“I think it’s safe to induce you right now, I’m not liking the looks of your blood pressure and labs,” the midwife sits in a stool across from your bed. 

Everything started off manageable– the pains, you were able to breathe through. Your mother stood by your side the whole time, clutching your hand when you needed it. You sat cross-legged in a hospital gown, the bed placed at the highest position, and an IV placed in the crease of your elbow. It was five hours later when the pitocin had started causing the most excruciating pains you had ever felt, and you had been shot many times in the SAS. 

Crying out and grasping the handles of the bed, your breathing became ragged and your mouth dried out and you were so happy when your mother applied lip balm to your mouth to keep them from cracking. Each time your progress was checked, the pain worsened, the labor pains feeling like a searing hot knife was dragging across your lower abdomen. You wanted so badly for John to be here, sitting across from you on the bed, letting your arms wrap around his shoulders while you groaned through your pains, but it was your mother who stood in his place, her tender touches breaking you out of your swimming mind. 

Hours later, your water had broken on its own, and now you were in the home stretch and the anxiousness began to flow throughout your body, knowing that your little girl was to make an appearance by the beginning of the next day. 

John’s body was wired, sleep not taking him this evening, his hand resting on his bare stomach as he splayed out on his bed, the blanket barely covering his waist. He scrolled mindlessly for hours on his phone when he finally decided to browse your mother’s social media, hoping that she had updated with anything that had to do with you. He shot up from his pillow when he saw a photo of you sitting up in a hospital bed, and IV and wires hooked up all over your body. 

“Posted three hours ago,” he mutters to himself, tapping your photo and zooming in on your face– you looked so angelic. 

His baby would be here so soon and it made his heart skip beats, anxiety flowing through his veins. He could be there right now in place of your mother, whispering sweet words of encouragement in your ear, rocking with you and helping you breathe through the pain. Even when on the battlefield while injured, he knew you were terrible at controlling your breathing, often passing out and waking back up with him chewing your head off. 

“Make sure to breathe, sweet girl, you’ve got this,” he spoke almost silently– a whisper off his lips. 

Lying back down, he knew immediately that he was not going to sleep until he knew you had delivered safely and that the baby was okay. Knowing how much your mother posted updates about you, it was surefire that she’d post a picture of that sweet baby as soon as she arrived. What were you going to name her? Would you give her your surname? Of course you would, he doesn’t have that badge of honor– of his kid taking his name, when he wasn’t present. What would his daughter look like? Hopefully like you because you were the most beautiful creature on God’s green Earth. 

The smallest hand was wrapped around your finger, swaddled in the cream colored blanket your mother knitted just for her. The baby came out kicking and screaming after almost two hours of pushing. You cried out for John, wanting him by your side more than anything. To hold your hand, to kiss you so deeply when the baby came and was placed on your chest. Your mother knew how much you missed John, your forlorn looks never fooling her, and so she felt great sympathy hearing you scream out for your past lover. 

“Look at you, Bunny,” you whisper, stroking the soft cheek of your little girl ever-so-softly. 

“Oh, you did such a good job, my love,” a kiss was placed on your cheek by your mother, her hand resting on the back of the baby’s bunny hat covered head. 

You would go through the pain of carrying her and bringing her forth a million times over, your heart swelling so much it might have exploded when your eyes caught the looks of her face. She was so perfect, so tiny. The moment she was placed on your chest, her eyes peered right into yours– those same crystal blue eyes she shared with her father. 

It was late morning the next day. John hadn’t slept a wink, his eyes heavy and Soap was late to debriefing– like that was a new thing though. He decided to sit at the table instead of the podium at the front of the room where the projector screen hung behind it, too exhausted to stand for more than needed. Gaz was away on deployment, leaving Ghost and Soap to sit in the seats to the right and left of him. Ghost’s eyes peered at his newest deployment papers, flipping through the pages pretty quickly as he was a fast reader. Soap had his head down, phone hidden under the table while there was a moment of silence– a break of sorts, in John’s meeting. 

“She had the baby, bonnie lass she is,” Soap says out loud, Ghost looking up from his papers with a quiet hum.

John frantically dug his phone out of his pocket, searching your mother’s name on social media. There you were, holding the tiniest bundle in your arms, swaddled inside a knitted blanket with her hands tucked under her chin. He had to leave, he needed a moment. The chair screeches when he stands, Soap’s attention snapping to his Captain, who started rushing out the door. 

Sharing a confused look with Ghost, Soap stood from his seat and left the room. Why did he leave in such a hurry? Why did he react like that in general? Soap was searching his brain for the possible answer. Come to think of it, Soap never noticed a gentleman by your side during your pregnancy and your mother had mentioned in posts how you were so strong and she was lucky to be by your side during this new adventure. Was John that baby’s father? Why was he not there with you? But then it all began to make sense the longer Soap thought– the SAS and Task Force were always keeping themselves hot on the tails of dangerous people, and those dangerous people would stop at nothing to take everything away from them. Maybe this was a mutual decision– and exactly why you left the military. 

John’s breathing was heavy as he shut the door to his room behind him. He felt unstable on his feet, nearly tripping on his way to sit on his bed. Your photo was zoomed in on his phone, your hair was disheveled, your hospital gown hanging from your shoulders– he was guessing you’d already attempted to feed the baby with how lazily it had been tied back up. John’s eyes focus on the baby, his heart skipping a beat when he looks at her sweet button nose and wispy little hairs poking out from her knitted bunny hat. Oh how beautiful his girls looked after all of their hard work. Pride swells in his chest, he knew this must have been so difficult, but you did it and looked even more beautiful than before as a new mother. 

The nights were long, the days melted together, and you found yourself lost. Though your mother lent a hand when she was available, you had taken on so much so quickly and had no adjustment time, as having a baby would do. Between nursing the baby and running on less sleep than you had gotten on some of your deployments, you were ingesting more caffeine than you liked, and you often found yourself nodding off at random times. But that little girl had been the easiest to please so far. As long as she got milk, had a clean nappy, warm clothes, and cuddles, she was content. 

John would have been the one to wake up at the first signs of movement in the bassinet– he was an incredibly light sleeper and would often rise earlier than most of his team. He’d say how much of a waste it was to sleep the morning away when you could be productive and get more important things done before the day actually needed to start. You weren’t much of a morning person and would often tell John to let you sleep in until the last possible minute if you stayed in his room for the night, but you always managed to slip out of his room before anyone came into the halls. 

Your mind wandered more during your maternity leave, often you questioned what John was doing, if he knew his daughter had arrived safely and if he knew how beautiful she was. Did he have any deployments in the time you were discharged to now? You were sure he was busy, as he always had been. 

A few weeks passed and John was on leave for three weeks, visiting home and executing plans he made with Soap for the day, who was taking a leave around the same time as John for a wedding. While walking the streets of London, hands stuffed in his pockets, and Soap to his side, the two talked about quick bite options nearby. John had a cafe in mind, mentioning that they had great coffee and sandwiches.

The late winter air nipped John’s nose, the tip dusted a light pink. He had a black beanie placed atop his head and a black peacoat over his jumper. Soap’s outfit resembled the outfit John wore, save the beanie, but add a scarf. Soap had attempted to reach out to you on multiple occasions since having the baby, but of course, you didn’t answer. Soap knew that he shouldn’t keep trying to pry and answer out of you, but he also knew that you needed the support of a friend, even though he wanted to be more than a friend. 

Price felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket, telling Soap to go on ahead and order for them both– Price wasn’t picky. Opening the door to the cafe, Soap felt an immediate warmth wash over him and the heavy smell of coffee filling his nose. Taking a spot in the short line, he stared at the menu above, until he became distracted by the woman in front of him, kissing a very small baby on the head, cooing and rocking her body as her hands caressed the sling that held the baby to her chest. He knew your voice anywhere. 

“Y/N?” He places his large hand on your shoulder, spinning you to face him. 

Your eyes were wide, a scared look on your face until you noticed Soap’s familiar face. Barely able to string words together, Soap took you by the arm and dragged you to the side, his arms engulfing you in an embrace, careful as to not smoosh the baby’s head between your two chests. 

“Why didn’t you answer my messages?” Soap’s low voice vibrates the side of your face as your arms wrap around him. 

“I didn’t want my old life to follow me because of her,” your voice trembles.

“But you didn’t have to face this alone.”

“I do though,” you pull away, looking at Soap with watery eyes. 

Feeling his heart sink, knowing that what you said was true, he didn’t want it to be. He wanted to be the one to hold you– support you, and keep you safe. Even though what Price was doing was carrying out the same purpose. 

“She’s a beauty,” Soap nods to the sleeping baby covered almost entirely inside your sling, her little face settled against your chest, lips puckering as she stirs to get more comfortable. 

“Thank you Johnny,” you smile, stroking her cheek softly, then adjusting the knitted bunny hat to sit closer to her eyebrows. 

Johnny– he hadn’t heard you say his real name in so long, it was like a treat hearing it leave your soft lips. 

“Reach out to me from time to time, just so I know you’re doing okay?” Soap pleads, his hands resting on your shoulders, squeezing them lightly to get his words through to you. 

Nodding with a soft smile, you could hear your name being called by the barista. Grabbing your coffee, you turn to exit the cafe, offering Soap a soft “bye,” as you pass him. You wrap your thick shawl around the baby tight, holding onto her with one hand while you balance your coffee in the other. You were only minutes from your mother’s house, and the fresh air was something you needed after being cooped up in the house for so long. 

Then you see him– John. He was ending a call on his phone, placing it back in his coat pocket before setting off on his walk to the cafe to meet back up with Soap. Your heart was pounding, and almost as if the baby senses your unease, she begins to stir and whimper. You walk closer and closer to where John’s position is by a lamp post. His eyes spot you and his body freezes in place. You keep walking, shushing the baby softly, your hand placed on her back to let her know her mother was right here. 

“You’re alright, Little Bunny,” you say into her hat, softly kissing the crown of her head as you pass John. 

His daughter was right there, cozily pressed against your body in the chilly climate. The baby wore a cream knitted bunny ear hat, one ear flopping over the side of the sling. She looked so much like the both of you, it almost scared him. He wanted to hold her— hold you. It ate away at his insides, turning his guts to liquid as he watched your eyelashes flutter down to the ground, watching your feet. 

Tears were falling like mad down your face as you passed him without a word, John watching you in disbelief– he didn’t think he would be able to rest his eyes upon you again, not after going this long without contact. But it was for the best, you both knew this. 

His eyes followed you until you were no longer in sight, making sure you were absolutely safe with the baby. Life could be different, he could run after you and grovel on his knees for forgiveness. To beg you to forget he was ever cold to you and to start fresh. But he couldn’t, especially not after how things ended and with knowing he’d jeopardize yours and the baby’s safety.

It was days later that you had run into Soap and John while out in London. You hadn’t slept right in days and it was a mixture of having a newborn who needed your attention and the anxiousness of seeing your old lover and not being able to think about a thing other than him. 

Your mother’s footsteps can be heard ascending the stairs and she soon appears in the doorway with a small parcel. Handing it to you and planting herself on your bed next to you, she waits for you to open it. As you tear into the parcel, peeling the tape and opening the box, you look inside and see a knitted bunny, the yarn pink and soft. Pulling the bunny out, you notice a note attached to it, neatly folded and taped shut. As you carefully open the note, your eyes scan over the words written on it. You knew that handwriting— John’s handwriting. 

“For Little Bunny.”

[legendarylearner18]

Hi, I doubt many people will see this, but I need to share this with someone, anyone. To preface this, please be aware that I'm Autistic and please, please be kind. And I'm sorry for the length.

About 2 months ago, I had to sadly put my beautiful and healthy 9 year old Tabby cat, Tank, to sleep. He was a 24-lb short hair tabby and was the size of a Maine Coone. He was my baby, and while social, Tank was MINE. We had a very special bond. About 2 months ago he was absolutely healthy, then over the course a few weeks (the month of June) he rapidly and severely declined in weight, physical mobility and capability, appetite, and mental state. Every test possible was administered, but they didn't catch the lymphoma in his spinal column until it was too late. So at 8 am on July 2, I received a call from the vets, and they delivered the news. I brought him in and had to say goodbye to him before 10 am that same morning. Everything still hurts, but I now have his ashes back. The world feels both so large and so small at the same time. I really don't know what to do, nor do I have many people to talk to about this. So... yeah... Either way, I can't stop crying, and I feel too much right now. Everything is... it's painful and overwhelming, it's so much but I don't really know what to do.

This is... was Tank

I wrote this the morning I came back home... after what happened.

Twist and twine

Your days with mine,

Your years with mine.

Cling close and never part.

Twist and twine,

Your life with mine.

[harryforvogue]

hello. here she finally is, the harry and mia blurb (which i also offer as the 200k reads celebration story). i hope you like her. she's like 7k words so she DID take some years off my life but it's okay. as long as YOU guys are happy hehe. there is basically no smut in this, but i like to think it's quirky and funny. happy reading! and thank you, as always, for you patience <3

i literally cannot come up with a synopsis for this so. yeah. just read it THANKS LOVE YOU BYE!

***

Just two weeks ago, Harry and Mia had been invited to a birthday party.

To be specific, which is very necessary in this situation, they were invited to a kid’s birthday party. Harry had promoted one of his employees to a high position, and as a thank you, the woman had invited Harry and a plus one to her child’s 6th birthday party. Harry had looked down at the invitation wondering if there was a typo. He couldn’t fathom the idea of going to a regular birthday party, much less a kid’s one.

But his employee had insisted. And Harry had hinted that taking him out for lunch or something would be even better in his books, but the women refused to budge. So a few days later, Harry and Mia stood in a venue with drinks in their hands, dodging children left and right.

His arm was slung around her waist. Mia was quiet for some time, a pensive look on her face as she watched the child who was “it” bellow, “CHAAAARGE” before sprinting to tag the other kids. Usually, something like this would make her twitchy, but something about her still figure and soft brown eyes made him ask, “What do you think? Should we get one?”

Mia had blinked at him. “A kid?”

“No, a bouncy house.”

“Oh. Um. Well, I wouldn’t be opposed, but…”

“Mia. Never mind. Yes, a kid.” He sighed deeply and slanted his head towards her, his brows raised. “Thoughts?”

“I mean…” They’d talked about it before. And both of them wanted children. But it seemed like something that would happen after the wedding. But even that was really close – in three short months. “You know I want your kids.”

Harry laughed softly and shook his head. “You always emphasize that they’d be mine as if I’d expect them to be somebody else.”

“Well, you know,” she smiled back, nudging his shoulder with hers. “I have to remind you that they’ll all have your big head.”

“You love my big head.”

“I do.” She took a sip of her drink. “And you? Think we should get on it?”

If it were up to Harry, he would have liked to wait just a year more. He wasn’t in a rush. Though recently he had been enjoying the idea of having a baby to erase, and the feeling was always tainted by terror. “Maybe when my job is a little…”

Mia nodded. “Yeah.”

Harry had been so busy recently. His father’s company had just bought another, right before the end of the fiscal year. They had so much to work on for reports. It was driving him insane and causing him to work overtime. He just needed to get over his hurdle. And then he’d relax. He’d come home on time. He’d have more time to take Mia out rather than force her to attend a birthday with him. This felt like work anyways.

“But I do look forward to it,” he’d insisted, kissing the top of her head. He watched as two kids ran into each other and began sobbing on the floor. “Well. Mostly.”

A week later, Mia had come out of the bathroom at night with a pregnancy test in her hand. Her eyes were wide, hesitant. “I thought it would be funny,” she said, “if it was negative because I missed a period and–” 

She handed him the test. “You said you wanted kids a little later… what if we had one in nine months?” She looked at the wall, dazed. “Well. Seven months really, if I’m doing the math correctly. Which I’m probably not. You know what? It doesn’t matter. I think you get the point.”

Harry peered down at the test. It was a very solid positive. He’s silent for a moment. Then – “Holy shit.”

“I know,” Mia whispered, joining him on the bed. “It’s a lot. But we’ve talked about it, right? And we’re getting married and you know it was gonna happen eventually. I mean–”

“Mia.”

“-- I’m just saying that with the amount of sex you and I have, protected or not, it’s totally a miracle that we haven’t gotten pregnant already. And yeah I know we ditched the protection, and birth control doesn’t always work but–”

“Mia.”

“--what I’m trying to explain is that I’m totally okay with this. I might be freaking out a little bit and I might have had a mini panic attack in the bathroom but I really just–”

“Mia.”

She buried her face in her hands. “What?”

“I fucking love you.”

He’d taken her wrists and tugged. When she gave up and let him, he grabbed her face and kissed her so hard, she squeaked in surprise, steadying herself with a hand on his chest. “That,” he murmured through the kisses, “was such a Mia way of telling me. You are unbelievable. I’m never going to get used to you.”

Her eyes had immediately welled with tears. “Yeah? This is all right? We can work with this right? I mean, I’ll likely have to get the dress tailored again but I don’t think I’ll be showing that much in two months.” She leaned in and kissed him again and again until he felt her tears on his own face.

“This is perfect,” he’d whispered, holding her tight until she was gasping for breath. “I fucking– Mia. Mia. You make it so hard when you give me all these gifts.” And then he was grabbing her again, making her straddle him. He kissed her again and again, unwilling to take breaks in between even when his lungs were aching for air.

“You,” he said softly, “are everything. Listen to me. Everything. And we’re going to celebrate tomorrow, okay? Anything you want. All day. Nobody can bother us. How’s that sound, hm?” He kissed her. “I love you. I love you so much I can’t think straight.”

When Mia fell asleep on his chest that night, his mind was racing with ideas on what they could do tomorrow. What could he do that could compare with the things she’s done for him? He held her tight. He was going to be the best damned father anyone had ever met. He couldn’t be anything less than that.

***

The next morning, Harry’s phone begins to ring. And it continues to ring until Mia groans and reaches over him to grab it. She looks down at the caller ID with squinted eyes. It’s as if a bucket filled with ice water has been thrown over her.

“Hey,” she whispers to Harry, pushing his shoulder to wake him. “It’s your father.”

He tucks his head against her neck. “Ignore it.” His voice is raspy.

She lets it ring until it stops. “You already have two missed calls from him. What if something happened? Like the company suddenly went bankrupt overnight? Like something with the stocks. Like the Great Depression? Do you know how bad the Great Depression was?”

“Then I guess I’m unemployed. I’m so sad.” He doesn’t sound sad at all. His arm that’s thrown over her waist tightens and he pulls her back down until she’s against the pillows again. “Go back to sleep.”

“Fine, but don’t blame me when you wake up destitute.” She closes her eyes when Harry’s warm body begins soothing her back into a peaceful state. Her eyes are heavy again. Nothing is more comfortable than Harry’s hold lulling her to sleep.

And then Harry’s phone rings again. It rings and rings until Harry finally raises his head and swears under his breath. He grabs his phone and puts it to his ear. “Hello,” he answers in a very not so kind voice.

“Harry,” Mia hears his father’s voice through the phone. She opens her eyes and glances up at Harry. “Why haven’t you been taking my calls?”

“It’s 5 in the morning on a Sunday,” Harry replies tensely.

“You will be having dinner with your step mother and I tonight.”

He doesn’t even bother asking. He just demands it. Mia watches Harry rub his eyes and sit up, turning away from her onto his side. “I’ve got plans tonight. Maybe another night.”

“No, tonight. I’ll be out of the country next week.”

“I can’t tonight.”

“You may bring Amelia as well.”

Harry pauses. He doesn’t correct him about her name as he always does. “I’d have to ask her.”

“I need to speak to you urgently about a matter regarding the company.”

“We can do this over a video call.”

“Harry, I’m not asking you. I will send you an address and you will show up. With your girlfriend or not, it matters little to me. This is an important conversation we must have.”

“Fiancée, actually. Which I’ve told you,” he says. He takes a breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. Mia knows Harry’s getting angry at his father from the long pauses he keeps taking. She knows he’s trying to calm himself down before he says something completely out of turn. She sits up and rests her head on his back, holding onto his arm.

“It’s okay,” she murmurs, rubbing her hair against him. “We can go.”

He turns his head to look at her, his eyes wide. He pulls the phone away. “I wanted to celebrate with you.”

“We can do it another time.”

“No. This needs to be celebrated immediately.”

She smiles sleepily, raising her head to look at him. “We have, like, seven months to celebrate.”

His jaw tenses as he brings his phone back to his ear. She nods encouragingly and then lays back on her side, tucking herself under the warm sheets. She feels him staring at her a few seconds before she hears his soft voice say to his father, “We will be there.”

“Good,” his father says. “I will send over the details.”

“All right. Bye.”

She hears him turn his ringer off and then set his phone to the side. He gathers her into his arms and holds her close. His lips press to the top of her head. “I’m really sorry, Mia.”

“Don’t be,” she laughs softly. “Nothing we haven’t done before.”

“I know. But still.” His voice is quiet and sad. “I wanted to celebrate.” His hand slides over her stomach. “Take you somewhere nice.”

“I’m sure the restaurant your father picks will be nice.”

“I wanted to take you somewhere nice and alone.”

“We can do that any other day.”

He’s quiet again. “Yeah.” Before she falls asleep, she hears Harry apologizing again, barely audible.

***

Mia walks in on Harry pulling his freshly tied tie off his neck. He mutters a swear and tosses it on the bed and unbuttons the top two buttons of his shirt, pulling his collar open. With a deep breath, he makes eye contact with Mia through the mirror. She’s in a long summer dress and white sneakers, pulling her jacket on. She’s done her hair in loose curls and pinned the front pieces out of her face. She smiles at him, but he doesn’t smile back, clearly lost in his thoughts. 

“Hey,” she says, frowning. She takes his hand and walks around to stand in front of him. “It’s okay.”

His eyes are distant. “I want a day off with just you and me. I’ve been working so much, I feel like I’ve barely seen you. And we live together.”

Mia presses his hand to her cheek. She feels his knuckles gently caress her skin upon contact. “I know. But things come up. We can have a day to ourselves next week.” She frowns deeper. “Oh wait. We promised Amara and Zack we’d do a double date.”

At the reminder of the plan, Harry looks pained. “We can just not show up.”

“That would piss him off.”

“Who cares? I’m pissed off right now.”

Mia stands on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around his neck. A smile takes her face again, and she’s suddenly leaning in to gently kiss the corner of his mouth. “Well, I hope you know that you’re so cute when you’re pissed off.”

“I’m serious.” His voice loses a bit of its agitated tone. He holds her waist.

“As am I. Now come on. Stop brooding and look a little more happy. I’m having your child, after all. You owe me smiles for the next seven months.”

At that reminder, his eyes light up and one dimple appears. Then another. He holds her face and tugs her closer. “You’re absolutely right.”

She grins and then melts into the embrace when Harry kisses her. “I am always right.”

Mia doesn’t know how some people are able to keep the news as a secret until their partner is ready to take it. When she looked down at the positive pregnancy test last night, her first thought was to tell Harry. There was no way she’d be able to keep it to herself.

She lost count of how many times he whispered “thank you” and “I love you”.

Harry was in such a mess, they weren’t actually able to make love like she thought they would. Every time Harry would hold her face to kiss her, he’d tear up again and drop his head, whispering the words again, mixed with a healthy and colorful amount of soft, incredulous swears.

“I was thinking, actually,” he murmurs once he pulls away. He twists a strand of her hair around his finger. “We should go for a vacation. To celebrate, I mean.”

Mia says, “You know I am always ready for a getaway.”

“Mhm.” He kisses her again. “And when we come back, we can start telling people? Is that a thing that you do so early?”

“Well, I don’t have any other children so it’s hard for me to know.”

“Then maybe we wait until the second trimester.”

“Should we do a gender reveal party?”

Harry thinks about it as he kisses her once more. “Dunno. I mean, I would totally be okay with finding out the day off.”

Mia’s eyes light up. “I was thinking that too.” She slides her hands down his shoulders, fixing his collar along the way. “I would be happy with a boy or a girl.”

“Me too.”

“And should we do something like a big reveal for our friends and parents? No wait. I’d actually rather tell my parents in person.”

“Is that where our vacation will be? Staten Island?”

She fakes a shudder. “Don’t even joke about that.”

He kisses her for a final time, a very long kiss that has her pressing herself against him, his hands on her waist, feeling the warmth of her skin. And when he pulls away, Mia laughs softly and wipes his mouth. “Lipstick,” she whispers. Harry cleans up the corner of her mouth with his own thumb. “We should head out soon.”

Harry sighs deeply and nods. “Let’s get this over with, hm?”

“Let’s.”

***

Despite having been with Harry for four years, it still shocks her whenever they go out to a place as fancy as this. Because although Harry and her do go to expensive places, they’re never as high end as the ones his father picks. Harry complains that the super expensive places don’t have edible food, which she has to agree with. Looking at the menu in her hands, she scans it for anything that she even recognizes.

Most of the time, she has to elbow Harry gently and ask him what these dishes are. Unfortunately, Harry is having a discussion with his father about the company, something she usually just tunes out.

At least she’s decided what drink to have. And the post dinner dessert.

Harry jokes with her that she should listen to how the company is run or at least know its primary functions. He says that if he ever got sick, she’d have to step in to run the company for him. Mia’s not all that sure how much of that is the truth. They wouldn’t just give the company to anybody, right? Harry reminds her that his father handed a large part of the company over to him despite Harry not having the experience. Mia argues that that is a classic story of nepotism. Harry argues back that him giving her his job is also nepotism.

You really can’t win with rich people, Mia says, ending the conversation there.

After they’ve ordered (Mia playing it safe by ordering exactly what Harry does), they sit in relative silence until Harry’s father clears his throat and says, “Well, I have news to give you, Harry. In fact, tomorrow morning, we can start on the paperwork.”

Harry says, “Paperwork?”

“Yes. I’m sure you know of all the board meetings we’ve been having over the course of the past two months, and there have been rumors here and there, but I’d like to actually come straight to you to say it. I am stepping down as chief executive officer.”

Harry takes a sip of his water. “Great. Who’s the unlucky fellow that gets to take your place? Is this about voting? I told you having an even number of board executives was a bad idea for this very reason.”

Something flashes over Harry’s father’s face. Surprise, perhaps. “Well, I wouldn’t just hand the position over to just anybody.”

“Right. Do you want me to look over performance reviews and applications?”

“Harry,” Mia says softly.

He glances down at her and then his father. Then his step mother. Realization dawns. “Oh.”

“Yes. I will be passing duties over to you.”

Mia watches the expressions pass over his face. Confusion, surprise, then… something else.

“It was always set in stone that I would pass the company to you, son. I did think I would continue to be CEO for at least another 2 years, but I think it’s an excellent time for me to retire. The company is stable. The revenues have increased every year, our profit margins are better than ever. There are few fires to put out in distinct subsidiaries, but this previous quarter has been exceptional.”

“Right.”

“It is not only because you’re my son. It’s also because of your commitment to the company. You have been strict in hiring and following the companies values. Your negotiating skills have never been more excellent. We gained a new subsidiary that brings in massive amount of profits because of you. The contracts you’ve renewed this year alone are commenable. You’ve put in the work and you deserve this position.”

“Right.”

“We will start the paperwork tomorrow.”

Mia realizes what’s on Harry’s face. Dread.

Because Harry’s never wanted that position. She knows it. Sometimes, he’d reveal to her that it was the only position left for him if he were to excel past his current one, and that he wasn’t sure how he’d react to the news. They all thought it would be a couple more years until this discussion was brought up.

But now it’s here. Harry is reaching for his water again, taking slow slips in thought.

The silence is unnerving. Mia puts on a bright smile and exclaims, “This is wonderful news! Congratulations, Harry!”

His step mother raises her glass in a toast and everyone except Harry clink theirs together. “Congratulations!”

“I understand it’s a shock,” his father says after drinking his wine. “But it is for the best of the company. I leave it in good hands.” He glances up at the waiter. “Thank you.”

As the plates are getting set in front of them, Mia puts her hand on top of Harry’s under the table. She notices that his fingers are cold, so she rubs them softly.

“You know what?” Harry suddenly says when the waiter leaves. He pulls his hand out from under hers abruptly. “I’ve got to get some air. I’ll be right back.” He pushes his chair out. “Excuse me.”

Mia watches him quickly walk out of the restaurant while undoing one more button of his shirt. Normally, she’d be annoyed that she’s been left with the shark of a father he has, but now, concern runs through her. She’s already on the edge of her seat when Harry mutters an apology to the host and exists.

She glances back at his father and step mother. They don’t actually look perturbed.

“I would have thought he’d gotten used to all this,” his step mother says, cutting into her steak carefully. “Does it always take him time to get used to something?”

“Yes,” his father says, chewing already. “He’ll be fine.” He looks at Mia. “How have you been, Amelia? The wedding planning is complete, yes? How’s the job going? You know, my offer at the company still stands. Well, now it’ll have to go through Harry, but I’m sure that the position he can get you would pay far better than the one you currently h–”

“Actually,” Mia says, standing up. She winces at the way her chair screeches against the floor. “I am so sorry. I’m, um, I’m going to check on Harry.”

His father waves his fork in the air. “Go on ahead. Talk some sense into him.”

She offers a nod of some kind and then walks out, trailing after Harry. She also apologies to the host and promises her return.

He hasn’t gone too far. In fact, he’s right out the restaurant, pacing with his hands tucked into his pockets. 

“Harry.” She jogs over to him, grabbing his blazer sleeve, stopping him in his step. “Hey. Hi.”

He looks at her with frantic eyes. “I’m not taking that job. I can’t take it. I can’t.”

“Okay. That’s okay.”

He stares at her for a moment before wrapping his arms around her, hugging her tight against his front. His heart is beating fast. “Mia. I don’t– Mia.”

“It’s okay.” She feels him drop his head to her shoulder. He takes a deep, shaky breath.

“I don’t want to be the CEO.”

She rubs his back. “I know.”

“I always thought it would be fine, yeah? Take on a few more responsibilities. But…”

“It’s just not what you want.”

“Is it wrong? I’ve always known, so is it cheating by refusing now? I mean. I know people who would kill for this job. My father probably thinks I’m being ungrateful.”

Mia shakes her head. “Well, you’re not. You’re trying your best, and this just doesn’t interest you. You don’t want it.”

“Maybe 5 years ago it’s what I would have wanted. I wanted to prove that I could be something big. Prove it to my dad. But things are different now. I don’t want to prove anything to anyone. I feel as if I’m different. You and I are different.” He squeezes her. 

“I understand,” she whispers. “I know.”

“What difference will it make anyways? We’re more than comfortable right now. I’m miserable at my job and I will be miserable as CEO.”

This is news to her. “I thought you were enjoying it a bit more.”

“No.” His voice is muffled against her dress. “You think I like a job that doesn’t allow me to see you?” He suddenly lifts his head and holds her waist tight. “Mia, this past week alone, I’ve come home so late that you’re already asleep. I don’t want that.” She sees something like fear in his eyes. “I didn’t pay attention to you the first time. And look what that did to our relationship. It was entirely my fault. I can’t do that again. I can’t handle that. I won’t ever show up. But that’s what we agreed on all those years ago, right? That I’d be there?”

“Harry…”

“I’ve been so good at showing up and that’ll all change if I take the job. There’s a reason why my parents never worked out. Why I never had a good relationship with my dad.” His eyes are wide, frantic. “I can’t be my father. I don’t want to be. I would never want to be. I can’t do that to you. I can’t do that to…” He puts a hesitant hand on her stomach. “God, I’d hate myself if I did that.”

“Harry…” Mia surges forward and throws herself at him, hugging him so tight, she feels her own ribs hurting. He holds her just as tight, head against her shoulder once more. “Oh, I love you, you beautiful person. I love you so much.”

“Yeah?” he whispers, turning his head to kiss her cheek. “Is that all right, then? If I say no?”

“I think you should say no, then quit your current job and let me be the income earner for the rest of the year. Won’t be able to pay for the wedding though. You’ll have to chip in. A lot.”

Harry chokes out a laugh. “We’ll honeymoon for the rest of the year.”

“As long as it’s not in Staten Island,” she giggles, planting kisses after kisses on his jaw. “I love you. Got that? I love you always.”

He pulls away slightly to look at her, apprehension in his eyes. “Always? Are you sure? It’s…it’s not easy loving me.”

Harry’s never been the type to ask Mia to remind him she loves him. She knows he knows that she adores him more than anything. But now, he’s asking, and he’s looking so hopeful with his pretty green eyes under the golden lights outside the restaurant. He’s looking all over her face, his gaze often lingering on her mouth.

“Are you kidding me?,” she suddenly laughs. “Harry. You know loving you has never been difficult for me. And not to mention, you’re kinda stuck with me. We’re reproducing after all.”

Harry groans. “Is that how you’re going to break the news to everyone? Hey guys, just wanted to say that my fiancé and I did have unprotected sex—“

“Wait! That’s basically what people say when they’re like oh yeah we’re trying. Like hmm okay, but we know exactly what’s going on no matter how cute you make it sound!”

“And yet it’s still better than we banged and here we are.”

Mia smiles. “But we did bang and here we are indeed.”

“Listen.” He takes her clip out of her hair and fixes her short strands back again. “Tell your friends however you’d like. But my family will be told a very specific, expensive way.”

“Like a party? You don’t like them.”

Harry shrugs. “I don’t seem to oppose the idea of celebrating such a big thing, though. As long as I get to kick people out on time.”

“But with Amara and Zack—“

“I give you full control.”

“Good. I want to make them cry.” She looks very determined. “I want them to be fighting for their life. Choking, even.”

Harry says, “Er, yeah. Whatever you want.”

“Maybe we can tell your father and step mother right now.”

Harry drags the back of his hand against her cheek. “Yeah?”

“I mean, you’re going to have to give a reason why you’re declining. And you can’t just say it’s because you love me so so so so so much.”

“Oh yeah? And why not?” He squishes her face, pulling her close, his voice tender. “Why can’t I refuse on the basis of loving my fiancée so so so so much?”

Her eyes light up. “Because that’s super out of character for you. He might think you’re sick. Although I’d love to see the look on his face.”

“Me too. He might have a heart attack at the idea of his son being happy.”

Mia suddenly frowns. “Don’t say that. That makes me really angry.”

“I know. Hey. We should go and make him angry instead, hm?”

“I like the way you think, Styles.”

He smiles and kisses her quickly. “Come on.” He takes her hand. “Let’s ruin their day.”

They share one more look before they head back inside. When they reach the table, they’re not surprised to see their plates untouched and the others nearly finished. They sit back down. 

“Have you finished with your dramatics?” Harry’s father says calmly.

“I will be refusing the promotion.”

Well, shit, Mia thinks. Just getting straight to it then.

His father’s eyes narrow as he slowly puts his fork down. He then takes a sip of his wine. Finally, he clasps his hands on the table. “And why, might I ask?”

“I have other priorities I need to focus on.”

“Something that is more important than your career?”

“Yes.”

“There is nothing more important to a man than his career.” His father shakes his head. “I’m disappointed. I wish you’d have learned this by now. You should take time to think this over. It won’t even be such a big difference.”

Harry says, “I have a different future in mind for myself. Something I think is more worthwhile.”

His father’s eyes narrow some more before they turn on Mia. “And I assume this decision is due to your influence as well.”

“I don’t think I influence Harry to do anything. I like to think I just encourage him.” Mia hates how she doesn’t sound confident in herself. “This is something we both happen to believe in.”

“He would not make this decision if it weren’t for you.”

Mia catches the bitter, criticizing tone, and so does Harry. She can tell by the way he tenses.

“Do not,” he says tightly, “speak to her like that. I am refusing the position and that is my final answer.”

Mia’s surprised when Harry’s getting up to leave. She scrambles to do the same, taking his outstretched hand. “Um. Goodnight,” she says even though Harry’s already dragging her away. The look on his father and step mother’s face is priceless. Mia wishes she could photograph it, blow it up, and put it on a blanket. It would make for an excellent anniversary gift.

Harry’s walking so fast, she needs to jog a little to keep up with him. When they get to the car, he stops and looks up at the sky. He laughs a little, but Mia’s sure he’s not finding anything particularly amusing. “Well, shit.”

“Uh, is he going to come after us?”

“Of course not.”

“Right.” She needs to say something to make him feel better. Anything. Anything ridiculous. “I wished we packed up the food. It looked really good.”

It works. He snorts and unlocks the car, releasing her hand. “Relax. I’ll feed you. Let that be the least of your worries.”

They sit in the car, but Harry doesn’t start it right away. Instead, he holds the steering wheel and takes several more deep breaths. After a moment of silence, Harry puts his head on the wheel.

Mia rubs his back. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

Harry doesn’t reply for some time. His eyes are shut, his eyebrows furrowed. She continues to rub his back and lean over to kiss his curls.

Finally, his eyes open and he sits back up. He secures his seatbelt and then starts the car. “Okay. Let’s go home. No wait. We have to feed you first. Then we go home.”

“We can place an order for pickup.”

“An excellent idea. Let’s do that.” He gives her a pointed look. “Pick a place and order from it. Without any fuss.”

Mia smiles. “Yes, sir.”

His eyes narrow and he leans in for a kiss. “Good.”

He puts the car in drive.

***

“Should we buy a baby name book? I saw one the other day that had a thousand in them.” Mia bites down aggressively on her crouton.

“I’m pretty sure we can agree on a name collectively,” Harry answers.

“We don’t ever agree on anything collectively.”

“Touch.”

“This is really good. Are you sure you don’t want to try it?”

He looks at the monstrosity in front of her. A caesar salad but she’s coated it with pickle relish instead, and her pasta is covered with so much cheese and oregano, he can barely see the pasta underneath. She twirls her pasta on her fork and then stabs her relish covered romaine lettuce, shoveling it all into her mouth.

“No, thank you,” he says. “I’m sure it’s…very delicious.”

“Not even my drink?”

She’s having orange Fanta to top it all off. “I’m okay, baby. You know, if we weren’t sure that you were pregnant before, we’re definitely sure now.”

“You’ve gotta remind me that I need to get a doctor’s appointment. I can get it for Friday afternoon if that works for you.”

She says it so casually, it makes him pause, his drink half way to his lips. He puts his glass down. “No. I’ll get leave for it.”

She glances at him. “You don't have to. I mean I’m sure you've got a lot to talk about with your dad and taking off in the middle of the week won’t be so good.”

“It doesn’t matter.” He frowns. “It’s time your schedule stopped depending on mine. You know what? I should start taking three days off a week.”

“You already come home early on Fridays.”

“They can survive another day without me.”

Mia shoves another crouton in her mouth. “You know I love having you in the house. Maybe if you can't get another day off, you can work from home.”

“Yes.” His mind is spinning with possibilities. “That’s a good idea too.”

“I am full of them.”

Harry takes his napkin and leans over the table, gently wiping the corner of her mouth. “You sure are.”

Mia quickly finishes up her food. Harry passes her water to have insead of the Fanta and she drinks it down quickly before getting up and walking over to his side. He spreads his legs when he sees her coming, patting his thigh. She falls into his lap easily.

“Hey,” she whispers, tucking her head against his shoulder. “I’m a little scared.”

His arms are tight around her immediately. “Of my father? Don’t worry about that. I’ll handle it.”

She holds his shirt tightly. “No it’s not that. I know you can deals with him.”

“Then what is it, baby?” He kisses her forehead and runs his fingers through her hair. “Tell me.”

She’s quiet for a moment until she says, “What if I’m not a good parent?”

“Oh, Mia.”

“I mean, I wasn’t even around kids at any point in my life. And I don’t have young siblings. I’m going to have to buy a ton of parenting books. I don’t even know anything. Did you know that you’re not supposed to warm milk up in the microwave for babies?”

Harry gently tugs her chin up so she can look at him. “Mia, between us, I think I should be the most worried about being a bad parent.”

“Harry, I know you’re going to be the best dad, and I’ve never been more confident of anything in my life. But me? I don’t know. I just learned how to start caring for myself, and sometimes it feels like I’m still learning. You’re going to be perfect though.”

He shakes his head. “There’s no such thing as a perfect parent. There’s a big difference between a good parent and a bad one though.” He takes a breath. “We are going to try our best. Right? Isn’t that all we can do?”

“Right,” she whispers, turning her face against his neck, her nose against the column of his throat. “Together.”

“Always. You said it yourself.”

She sniffles. “Are you scared too?”

“Absolutely fucking terrified. But I’m also excited. And also very relieved that it’s you I get to share this with.”

She raises her head. “Me too.” She sits up, blinking her grey, teary eyes at him. “ But I’m also sad. You’re going to be such a hot dad.” Her lip begins to wobble. “And I’m going to have to pry all the women off of you when you drop our baby off at daycare.”

Harry tries very hard not to laugh. It doesn’t seem like the appropriate time. “I will not even give them the time of day.”

“I should get a shirt that says That DILF is Mine!”

“As long as I get a matching one.”

He wipes her tears away, ruining her mascara in the process.

She sniffles some more. “I really wanted to have sex tonight but now I can’t stop crying.” She buries her face in her hands and cries harder. “This is r-really,really bad.”

Harry can’t help laughing then. He clutches her close to his chest and rests his head on hers. “Exactly how I felt yesterday.” He rubs her back as she’d done to him in the car. “It’s been a long day. It’s going to be okay. I know it’s very overwhelming.”

For some time, he lets her cry, thinking of ways to make her feel better. “Hey, I was thinking,” he finally decides, “if it’s a boy, maybe we can name him Axel.”

That gets her to stop crying. She immediately says in an icy voice, “I will divorce you.”

“Well, how about something classic like Bobby.”

She pulls away from him quickly. Her eyes are dark and annoyed, eyelashes still wet. Her nose is red, her cheeks pink. She looks like a vision. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“No?” he says innocently, wracking his brain for another terrible idea. “How about Clover for a girl?”

“You’re messing with me.”

“Delilah?”

She growls, “What is this – the early 2000s? I’m buying that baby name book tomorrow. You’re terrible at this!”

“I will admit I’m not the best at naming things. I named my cousin’s dog Pikachu.”

“You’re lying.”

He wipes her face gently. “Nope.”

“I will be naming this child.”

“I absolutely refuse to give you that right. Are you angry? Now you won’t have sex with me because you’re mad, right?”

Her eyes narrow. “On the contrary. I want to have sex with you even more now.”

Harry laughs and gathers her close, standing up. Her legs immediately wrap around his waist. “So romantic. Well, since you insist.”

She’s still going on about how terrible his name picking skills are when they arrive in their bedroom and Harry gently puts her in the middle of the bed.

He sighs dramatically, unbuttoning his shirt with one hand as he looms over her. “Well, it seems like I’m really, truly wrong. I guess the only thing I must do now is apologize.”

Mia bites down on her lower lip as Harry drops his shirt on the floor and slides his hands up her legs under her dress. She parts her thighs instinctively and tilts her head back against the ceiling. “Yes. You must.”

He hums, pushing her dress up until she grabs it from him, letting it bunch at her waist. He kisses her hip bone, then her thighs. Slowly, taking his time. He gently bites down on the flesh, growing harder at the sound of her gasp. He presses a feather light kiss to the waistband of her underwear before slowly tugging it down.

“Mia,” he says softly, slotting himself between her legs. “My sweet girl. When did you get so wet?”

She glances down at him. “Um, when you were being super hot and angry at your father in the restaurant.”

“Which was well over an hour ago?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to jump you in the car!”

“I wouldn’t have minded pulling over. Or doing this first.” He emphasizes the word when a careful lick against her. Her hands immediately fly out to grab his curls. “You know I never mind. Now.” He holds her thighs open. “Let me apologize properly.”

His fingers dig into her skin as he slids his tongue over her again. He relaxes into the mattress, encouraged by her strained groans and tight hold on his hair. He knows Mia well. He could do this in his sleep. He knows exactly what types of touches she likes, when she likes it rough, or when she prefers to be teased. He could stay here between her legs for hours, days even, submitting to her in whichever way she pleases. His heart thunders in his chest at the promise of forever. He’ll have her like this, exposed, and he’ll be at her mercy. All that she’s done for him, all that she’s tolerated. How much she’s fixed him. If only he could repay her.

“So good,” she whimpers under him, raising his hips against his mouth to create more friction. He focuses his attention on her clit and then slowly presses two fingers into her, listening to her gasp at the penetration. “I love you. Oh I love you. I love you. I love you-”

All the discomfort he’s felt today is suddenly gone. All he’s aware of is Mia. He’s wrapped up in her. He’s all hers. Hasn’t he always been? He closes his eyes and loses himself in the sounds she’s making, her heavy breathing, and the taste of her on his tongue. He’s never had any issue in losing himself in Mia.

It’s just him and her. 

He couldn’t be more happy.

[yellosnacc]

bigger Central religion post

Journey of the lost souls by an unknown pilgrim

A scene from the story of the "crystal Head".

With the help of a "harpy", the great sinner crosses the bridge to the new land as their sea-born crystal body cracks under the weight of a thousand souls.

If they were to fail, the sky may become richer, but the Uniima will end.

This is a bigger central Foru uniima religion post. All the information here is about the central religion's beliefs, not the world's biology or physics.

Now let's get the context for the painting.

To leave the Physical, one must die at a ripe age so that their wisdom can be put to the test. The glowing triangles are the souls of uniima. They resemble a larva/white and are parasite-like in behavior. After a soul is released out of a body by premature death (or created) it holds onto someone (soul-binds) until it's passed into a new body. Soul bonded can be anything with a soul but uniima souls are picky in what they cling onto and usually pick a parental figure, a friend, or pupil. When the soul senses an empty unii-body, it moves in. Twins/triplets are considered 'one-soul' with special powers.

The one depicted to carry this soul mass is the uniiman spiritual leader/s (their historical body and events), sometimes called the Heads, but there's definitely a better name in the native language (slomen and O.s use this name). The Head/s existed for most of the religion's history and is the one to name the 'uniima' (translates "own-one-mind". It's the name of the central people. Because of historical events, it caught on between aliens as the species name). Head/s is immortal because of a "curse" set on them for breaching into the spiritual world thousands of years ago. Since this event, they have been changing bodies and fixing their sins until today. Nowadays, they are considered the wisest, mentally strongest, and morally cleanest soul - an inspiration for everyone (which keeps them in power over Central Foru among other things).

More about the current Heads.

This art comes from an early chapter, only a few hundred years after the creation of people. After the Head dooms the uniima by peaking into the Spiritual, society starts falling faster than it did ever before, finally resulting in the 'death of creature people'. This society was one of constant sin and destruction since no holy parts were remaining (too complicated, let's leave that for another time), so this scene is something of a strange bitter-sweet moment. With both the land and the people gone (yes, land too), the Head is once more reincarnated - being put into a body of melted sand and rock. They collect all the wandering souls unable to ascend and travel to a new land with the help of a half-uniima-half-animal who feels sorry for the people it shares a soul with. This journey is the first major lesson and soul-cleaning of the Head. Now, what is the thing in their jaws?

This motive is common in images with the Head, but it's not very realistic for the time period. These "flesh lists" worn on the lower tongue-hand are a modern-ish invention. People wear these on special occasions. They show all the past lives on a uniima and can get very long in high mortality areas (soul moves until a body reaches the desired age to be final-judged). The significance and uses of these in status get very complicated, but I will keep it simple. A short scarf/list makes one seem strong, with potential, being naturally gifted, and wealthy. A long scarf shows weakness, and a tendency to sin, but also patience, and a wise mind (which in many cases is the most important feature of a person).

In religious art, "scarfs" help mark chapters, but in "Journey of the lost souls" it's to depict the scale of the tragedy.

Lastly, the Heads' stomach. It shows them moving a large "hole" out of their body. This is symbolism for shedding a sin. It's said a mind and body should be able to naturally "regurgitate" any "object" out of their stomach, clean of the evil within it.

Bad nature - sins, bad thoughts (even physical stuff such as poison and drugs), is stored in the stomach. The "hungrier" you are the more evil you have to shed and the more you are controlled by this "evil hunger". Being flagged as a "stomach-thinker" is not calling you a food enjoyer but rather an insane/deranged person. However, some regions consider the stomach the default thinking center (what's a brain?), so it's more like a scale of good to bad stomach.

If anything needs more explaining or isn't explained properly, please inform me in the replies or send me an ask for a dedicated post. Thank you for reading this far <3

[eurothug4000]

INTERVIEW WITH SHIGENOBU MATSUYAMA - PRODUCER ON SILENT HILL THE ARCADE

I had the pleasure of interviewing Matsuyama-san, one of the producers on Silent Hill the Arcade! Here's what he had to say :)

Q - How did the idea for Silent Hill The Arcade come to be?

A - During the arcade boom of the 1990s and the 2000s, a desire was born to combine the unique worldview of the Silent Hill series - which was already a very strong IP console game-wise – with the haunted houses one might find in an amusement part. We wanted something that could provide an easy and pleasurable experience to an extremely varied range of customers… as in, the casual users. This is the idea that brought Silent Hill Arcade (SHA in short) to life. However, since our goal was to create a new kind of experience that could not be replicated anywhere else, we designed a game that could make the most effective use of the 5.1ch surround sound system, which was something that arcade games hadn’t adopted until that point, with a type of cabinet that could be somewhat isolated from the rest of the arcade via the use of curtains.

Q - Roughly how long did development for the game take?

A - At the time, the development cycle of an arcade game was so short it would be unimaginable today. The shortest one was around six months, the longest about one year and a half. I think SHA took us around one year and two months.

Q - What parts of development were most enjoyable for you?

A – Usually, arcade games are tested a certain number of times, both during development and just before launch in each and every country where their release has been scheduled (which, for SHA, meant Japan, the US, the UK, Italy, Spain, France, Hong Kong and Singapore). In order to keep the development budget for SHA as low as possible, however, I personally traveled alone to the US for the market testing, assembled the cabinet all by myself, repaired it when it was out of order, and stood next to it for days on end, pen and paper in my hand, ready to collect the players’ data. Game development, nearly 20 years ago, was very much an analog experience. It was also hard work, but when I look back, I have so many good memories of that time.

Q - Do you remember any kinds of ideas that you and the team wanted to include in the game, but didn’t in the end?

A – I’m sure this will sound obvious, since SHA was based on a pre-existing IP, but since the framework was pretty much already set when it came to characters and plot, we had to be extremely careful not to deviate from it so that we wouldn’t create inconsistencies. Personally, I would have loved to take the story in slightly wilder directions and include new and fresh ideas.

Q - I loved seeing so many locations from Silent Hill 3 and 4 make an appearance in the game! Was the team who worked on those two games involved in making any decisions for Silent Hill The Arcade?

A - We of course personally consulted select staff members of Konami, like for example Producer Yamaoka, with whom I had been acquainted with since before SHA. However, most development teams had a mix of internal and external members that changed pretty fluidly with each and every year, so there was no real collaboration between the various teams.

Q - What level of freedom were you given for creating this original story within the Silent Hill universe? Were you given any specific directives on what you could or could not integrate/use in the story?

A - If I have to express my personal point of view on the matter, however, should you compare the storyline for SHA with the timeline of the other games, you would indeed notice a few minor inconsistencies that we were not able to completely solve. That’s something I still have regrets about.

Q - Tell me about translating a traditional survival horror experience into the rail shooter genre and control style. What kind of considerations did you have to make for this?

A - The biggest challenge was by far to design a game system that could be as simple as possible, and to regulate the level of challenge in a way that felt balanced, because we didn't want to force complicated controls or an exceedingly high difficulty level on the casual arcade players. Moreover, there was another balance we had to strike perfectly: more specifically, the one between the aforementioned "haunted house" element - the one that was unique to SHA, with its sequences of terrifying events - and the thrilling playstyle that a rail shooter should provide to the player.

Q - As a final product, what are your personal thoughts on the game?

A - I think it had a state-of-the-art sound system, that the design of the cabinet, with its creepy-looking curtains, made people want to take a peek inside, and that the rail shooting system was simple and could be enjoyed by virtually everyone. I think we managed to combine these various elements with a one-of-a-kind worldview of Silent Hill in a way that was in my opinion pretty good! Of course, each and every member of the staff did their part, and I thank all of them wholeheartedly.

Q - Are you working on anything currently that you’d like me to mention?

A - Feel free to write whatever you prefer! If anything, I should thank you, since you allowed me to walk down the nostalgia lane and recall memories from almost 20 years ago that had been dimmed down by the passage of time. Thank you very much!

Shigenobu Matsuyama's site: shig.jp

[pdrrook]

Hii! How old is the Perfumare world? It seems like you've had it thought out a loooong time ago. It's very atmospheric. The characters, too, are built very deeply (it's giving 🧅). Everything about this story is giving 🧅. When did you first think about writing this story? When are your oldest notes about the Perfumare world dated (as in year)?

Heya! It's like 4 y old? Add a few months to the release date coz I developed the idea from a short dream I had (it was the dream sequence, the bathtub moment) in about 3 months before I started coding the script into Ren'py. I started with Twine though, so I had the base drafted there, and then I switched to Ren'py and focused on the assets. I did spend most of my time on the characters' backgrounds and stuff that I thought would never be shown in-game like family relations and so on. Which is funny considering I started thinking about writing it for the sole purpose of using it as a test story to learn to code on, lol, but then it grew as I wrote more. 

As for the notes, I tried to find some to share here, but I have a bad habit of deleting old/unused stuff from my PC so 🤡

I can tell you that the earliest draft had Flavio in Laurent's place (as in the RO, not the character, they both existed still), but it wouldn't work with both Reed and Flavio being the ROs, so I scrapped that idea. Oh, and the og was literally just the dream sequence, but I felt like it lacked substance bc it was so short, so I decided to develop it more, and the rest is, as they say, history.