#I swear to god I was on the edge throughout this scene

[dv-kelp-face]

Boy was the River Styx getting heavy traffic that day

[notiddygothgf]

19. Little Black Dress

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝ we look good together. ❞

★ c.w.: fluff, denji, lime, aki being so feral

★ a/n: hi darlings!!! i am officially back at school (kill me). we are now in the rising tension part of the story! things are about to crescendo, not in this chap tho (so enjoy the fluff while it lasts lolllllll). thank you all sm for coming on this ride w me. i dont have much to say, but thank you for all of your love throughout the course of this story. 10k reads? omfg. I'm shocked. love u all my babies. Anyway! i wont say too much. enjoy! comment comment comment away!!! xx

★ w.c: .6.2k

shameless ; chapter index

THE NEXT MORNING, when you finally woke, Aki was already in the kitchen, undoubtedly whipping something delicious together. In fact, you could smell it from where you were laying – what smelled like buttery eggs combined with the scent of him that lingered on his bedsheets. With a groan, you shifted, turning onto your side and then stretching your arms way above your head. Your bones and joints protested with a series of loud cracks. 

A large part of you wanted to stay in his bed forever, melting into his clean sheets – and, yes, Aki had washed both the sheets and the pillow the night before, so you had a brand new backup blanket to swaddle yourself up in – until you were forced to get up. In fact, judging by the way you could hear him complaining to one of his "nightmare roommates" about something you couldn't quite hear, you couldn't imagine that the morning would have remained peaceful for much longer.

So, begrudgingly, you sat up – doing one more biggg stretch before swinging your feet over the edge of the bed and slipping out of its warm confines. Your feet were warm against the cold floor as you padded on over to the kitchen, popping the door open and–

Why is Aki pointing a knife at Denji? You thought.

The scene that unfolded before you was one that made you wipe at your eyes groggily, just to make sure you were truly seeing what you thought you had seen. Sure enough, Denji was sitting at the table with his tongue stuck out, using his arms to shield a plate from Aki – one that held an absolute monstrosity of a sandwich with eight whole slices of bread stacked atop one another. In front of him (and all around him) pots of jam lay discarded, making a mess all over the table. 

"You're not my dad, topknot, so back off," He was hissing at your not-quite-boyfriend.

Aki waved the knife in Denji's direction, and now, you understood. He had been chopping up fruit for breakfast, and was using the knife as an extension of the harsh words he was spouting – "If I were your father I would have left you in a box in an alleyway somewhere. If you don't clean that shit up, I swear to everything that's holy in this world–"

"I'm part Devil, dipshit. I ain't scared of God!" Denji retorted.

"Fuck God," Aki's eye twitched, "I'll fucking kill you myself."

They're like siblings. Walking into the kitchen, you clasped your hands together, breaking up the argument with a friendly, "Good morning, you two."

Aki visibly softened at the sight of you – blue eyes dropping to your bare legs before raking themselves back up your body (which was draped in his sweater). Denji, in comparison, only got louder.

"Tell Captain ass to let me eat my breakfast in peace," He huffed.

You smiled. Smiled so hard your eyes crinkled at the corners.

You laughed softly at Denji's comment and took a seat at the table, pulling Aki's sweater tighter around yourself. "Whatcha cookin', Aki?" you asked, your voice still tinged with sleep.

"Scrambled eggs and toast," Aki replied, glancing at you as he flipped the eggs in the pan. His tone softened when he looked at you, his usual sharpness replaced with something gentler. "I'm feeling lazy this morning. That okay with you?"

"Of course it's okay," you replied, smiling at him. The warmth in your voice seemed to ease some of the tension in his shoulders, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flicker of affection in his eyes before he turned back to the stove.

Denji, still seated at the table, glared at Aki, then muttered, "Simp," under his breath.

You stifled a laugh as Aki ignored him with the practiced patience of someone who had heard far worse. He finished plating the eggs and paired them with crispy bacon and golden buttered toast before setting the plates in front of you and Denji. Finally, he sat down with his own plate, running a hand through his hair like he was already exhausted by the day's events.

You all ate in relative silence at first, the clinking of cutlery the only sound breaking the quiet. The food was delicious, the perfect mix of savory and comforting, and you let out a contented hum as you took another bite.

As you were finishing your eggs, Aki cleared his throat. "By the way, don't forget about tonight," he said, looking at you. "That formal event starts at seven. We should aim to leave by six."

You groaned, dropping your fork onto your plate. "Oh my god, I totally forgot about that. All my clothes are still at the hotel. Do we... have to go back?"

Aki chuckled softly, shaking his head. "What kind of guy do you think I am? No, we can go shopping today if you want."

"Really?" Your eyes lit up as the idea sank in. "Can we go to the mall?"

"Anywhere you want," he replied with a small smile that made your chest flutter.

Denji, who had been quietly inhaling his food, suddenly slammed his fork down. "No fair! You never take me clothes shoppin'!"

"That's because you're a boy," Aki said, deadpan. "I've bought you plenty of clothes. You're the only person I know who can ruin six button-downs in a month." He took a sip of his coffee, then added, "You can wear my old suit again tonight. I'm sure you'll want to look put together for Miss Makima."

Denji's head snapped up, his eyes wide with sudden interest. "She's going?"

"Of course she's going," you replied with a teasing smile. "She's the one who organized the event."

Denji's reaction was instant and dramatic. He shoved the rest of his toast into his mouth, crumbs flying everywhere as he stood abruptly. "I gotta plan my outfit!" he mumbled around the food, then bolted out of the room.

You and Aki exchanged a look, his exasperation mirroring your amusement. Then, without warning, you both burst into laughter.

After a moment, he stood and began clearing the plates. You followed his lead, helping him stack them neatly by the sink. The two of you worked in companionable silence, and you found yourself stealing glances at him as he rinsed the dishes. There was something about the way he moved—so deliberate and calm—that made your chest ache in the best way.

"So," you said, breaking the quiet. "What's the plan for today?"

Aki shrugged, drying his hands on a towel. "First, we'll get you something nice to wear for tonight. Then maybe... coffee? Or whatever you want."

"Sounds perfect," you said, smiling.

"Good," he replied, and for a second, you thought you saw his lips twitch upward.

You couldn't remember the last time you had been to the mall. In fact, as you and Aki walked side-by-side, matching smoothies in hand – fingers interlocked in the middle, you couldn't remember the last time you had gone anywhere and had this much fun. The two of you had made your way up to the second floor in search of formalwear for the event later that evening. You were humming an indistinct tune. Aki had all of your shopping bags looped around his arm, carrying them effortlessly.

The two of you wandered through the buzzing mall, the cheerful hum of conversation and the sound of footsteps blending into the background. Aki glanced down at you, his dark hair catching the fluorescent light in a way that softened his usual sharp features. You took a sip of your smoothie, the cold sweetness of it perfectly complementing the light, giddy feeling in your chest.

"This one's good, right?" you asked, tilting the cup toward him.

Aki arched an eyebrow but leaned in anyway, lips just brushing the straw before he took a small sip. "Not bad," he admitted. "But mine's better."

"Oh, really?" you teased, reaching for his cup with a mischievous grin. "Let me see about that."

Aki rolled his eyes but handed it over, his fingers brushing yours as you grabbed it. You took an exaggeratedly thoughtful sip, pretending to evaluate it like a connoisseur. "Okay, fine," you conceded with a laugh. "Yours wins. This time."

He smirked, a small, rare thing that made your heart flip. "Told you."

You were still laughing as you passed a storefront that caught your eye. The mannequins in the window wore two dresses that couldn't have been more different, and yet they both drew you in. One was a soft, flowing gown in a pale shade, almost angelic in its simplicity. The other was bold, form-fitting, with a cold shoulder and a slit that suggested trouble.

You stopped in your tracks, tugging Aki's hand to get his attention. "Hold on. I need to see these."

Aki followed your gaze and then gave you a quiet, curious look as you stepped closer to the window. "Which one?" he asked, his tone casual but his eyes glinting with interest.

"Both," you said with a grin.

He exhaled a small laugh, shaking his head, but didn't argue as you dragged him inside.

Once in the store, you reached for the rack behind the angelic dress first, running your fingers over the matching fabrics. "This one's pretty," you murmured, flicking through the rack for your size and then holding it up to yourself. It was the kind of dress that felt safe, elegant but not showy.

Then your eyes slid to the daring one, and you couldn't help but grin as you picked one up – luckily, also your size. "But this one..." you trailed off, holding it against yourself and glancing at Aki. 

His expression didn't change much, but his eyes flicked to the dress and then back to your face, lingering just long enough to make your skin tingle. "That one's... something," he said, his voice low and careful.

You laughed, pretending to dismiss his reaction, but you could feel your cheeks warming. "Something good or something bad?"

He hesitated, then shrugged in that understated way of his. "You'll have to try it on."

With a scoff, you slipped your arm into the nook within the two hangers. Then, nodding towards the back, you headed off to the counter. A young-looking woman with a scowl on her face sat with her arm draped over the register, fingers drumming a tune. 

You approached her, asking, "Do you have fitting rooms?"

Without raising her eyes to look at you, she waved to the back of the store. "In the back, to the left."

"Thanks," you said with a polite smile, though the clerk barely acknowledged it.

You turned to Aki, nodding toward the back of the store where the fitting rooms were tucked away. He followed you without a word, his dark eyes scanning the store's interior as you weaved through the racks.

When you reached the fitting rooms, you made a beeline for the one furthest in the back, tugging Aki along by the hand. A small bench sat against the wall outside the stalls, and you gestured toward it. "Sit here."

Aki's brow furrowed, and he looked at you with a faint pout that made your chest flutter despite yourself. "I'm just supposed to wait?"

"Yes," you teased, giving him a pointed look. "And no peeking."

He rolled his eyes but dropped onto the bench, folding his arms. "Fine. But don't take too long."

You chuckled and slipped inside the fitting room, the heavy curtain swishing shut behind you. The small, brightly lit space felt cozy, with a single mirror angled just right to catch every detail. You set the dresses down on the small bench inside and reached for the first one—the soft, angelic gown.

Sliding it on, you adjusted the straps and smoothed the fabric down over your body, turning to catch the full effect in the mirror. It fit well – white fabric forming a sweetheart neckline over your chest, accentuating the curve of your waist, and falling in waves over your legs, down to your feet. The sleeves were off-the-shoulder; sheer fabric flowing around your arms like something out of a fantasy book.

You stepped out to show him.

He looked up immediately, his eyes softening as they swept over you. They paused over the sleeves.

"That's really nice," He hummed gently, tapping his chin in thought. It was funny, seeing him back here where he had no business being, manspreading without a care in the world on a bench that was way too short for him. "You look like a princess."

The compliment made your face burn, but you pushed a little further, "I need feedback, Aki. Decisions need to be made."

"How am I supposed to make a choice if I haven't seen the other one?" He quirked a sassy little brow. "This one looks really good on you. Get it."

You rolled your eyes, "Hold on."

Stepping back into the dressing room and closing the curtain behind you, you unzipped the side of the dress. It fell into a pile at your ankles. With a hiss, you swept it up, fumbling to hang it up.

Once you were stripped down to your underwear, you glanced at the strapless black dress that awaited you. There was simply no way that you would have been able to get away with wearing a bra with it, so you unclasped the back of your cotton bra and tossed it off to the side. Then, holding your titties for dear life, you unzipped the black gown and wiggled into it.

You looked like a completely different girl. The dress was cinched a bit around the waist, dark fabric flowing down to the floor. The slit in the side ran all the way up to your upper thigh – a daring choice, sure, but one you didn't exactly hate.You slipped your arms into the off-the-shoulder straps, and then paused to take a good look at your reflection in the mirror.

Who is this Diva? You thought.

Just to make sure that you really were looking at yourself, you turned around and looked at the back.

Holy shit, You noted, zipping the back of the corset up to bring everything in a little more. This dress is a little tight.

Can you see my cellulite?

My back rolls?

"I'm not sure how I feel about this one, Aki," you called out, tugging at the fabric to smooth it down. "It's a bit tight."

Before you could say anything else, the curtain suddenly parted, and you gasped. Aki stepped inside, his hand on the edge of the curtain, his eyes squeezed shut as if that made his intrusion less scandalous.

"Relax," he teased, a smirk curling at his lips. "It's nothing I haven't seen before."

Your shock melted into a mix of indignation and embarrassment. "Aki—!"

But then his eyes opened, and whatever quip you had died on your tongue. His gaze swept over you slowly, his sharp features softening as he took you in. His Adam's apple bobbed, and for a moment, he looked like he couldn't decide where to settle his focus—your face, your figure, the daring slit in the fabric.

"This one..." he murmured, stepping fully inside and letting the curtain fall closed behind him. He glanced around to make sure no one had noticed before his hand reached out, skimming the fabric at your waist. "...This one is nice."

His voice had dropped an octave, and the way his fingers lingered, trailing down to your hip, made your skin tingle.

"Aki," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Shit," he muttered, leaning closer, his breath warm against your ear. "You just put it on, and I already can't wait to get it off you."

The heat in his tone sent a shiver down your spine. Before you could respond, his lips brushed yours, tentative at first, as if testing the waters. But the second you leaned into him, the kiss deepened, his hands sliding to your waist to pull you closer.

He's insatiable.

The gown's tight fit meant every part of you was pressed against him, and you could feel the slight hitch in his breath as his fingers splayed against your back.

"Aki," you mumbled against his lips, trying to sound scolding, but it came out more like a plea.

"Mm?" he hummed, his mouth trailing down to the corner of your jaw, then lower, grazing your neck.

"We're in public," you reminded him, though your own hands betrayed you, clutching at the lapels of his coat.

"I don't care," he murmured, pressing a kiss to your collarbone before pulling back just enough to look at you again. His pupils were blown wide, and there was a rare, reckless edge in his expression. "You look amazing," he said, his voice rough. "Don't even think about putting that dress back on the rack."

Aki's lips pressed harder against yours, his hands steady on your thighs as he pinned you to the mirror. The kiss deepened, his tongue brushing against yours in a way that made your toes curl. You held onto him tightly, your arms looped around his neck, your fingers tangling in the strands of his dark hair. 

The cool surface of the mirror at your back was a stark contrast to the heat building between you, and every small shift of his body against yours sent a jolt through you. His grip on your legs tightened, and he pulled you even closer, his hips pressing into yours as he kissed you like he couldn't get enough. 

You could feel his heartbeat, fast and insistent, matching the rhythm of your own. His lips left yours briefly, trailing down the curve of your jaw to your neck, where he placed a series of heated kisses that made you gasp. 

"Aki," you whispered, your voice breathy and unsteady, but it only spurred him on. His teeth grazed the sensitive skin of your neck, and you arched into him, your hands clutching at the back of his coat. 

"Love it when you say my name like that, Baby," he murmured against your skin, his tone low and teasing.

You couldn't help the soft laugh that bubbled out of you, though it quickly turned into a sharp intake of breath as his lips found that spot just below your ear again. "You started this," you managed to say, your voice trembling.

"And I'm not planning on stopping," he muttered, his breath hot against your neck before his mouth found yours again, his kiss deep and all-consuming. 

The world outside the fitting room ceased to exist. The sounds of the store faded into the background, replaced by the soft, shared rhythm of your breaths. Every touch, every kiss, felt electric, and you lost track of time as you melted into him. 

His hand slid up your side, just under the slit of your dress, his fingertips grazing bare skin. You shivered, your lips parting against his as he pressed closer, his weight grounding you against the mirror. 

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew this was reckless, that anyone could walk by and notice the curtained fitting room with two shadows tangled together inside. But as Aki's hands held you firmly and his mouth moved against yours, you couldn't bring yourself to care. 

You stayed like that, lost in the heat of the moment, until the sound of a muffled conversation outside reminded you both of where you were. He pulled back just slightly, his lips brushing yours one last time, his forehead resting against yours as you both caught your breath. 

"We should stop," you whispered, though you made no move to let go of him. "And wait until... 'til we get home, yeah?" 

"Probably," Aki agreed, but the way he lingered, his hands still holding you in place, said otherwise. 

His eyes searched yours, dark and full of something unspoken, and you couldn't help but smile, your lips brushing his once more. He deepened the kiss immediately, slipping his tongue against your lips, begging for entry – his hands gripped your ass a little tighter, throwing your legs around his waist and lifting you up with a mind-boggling ease. With a passion, he pinned you up against the mirror.

"Your back," You just barely managed to get out, clawing at his back through his sweatshirt, desperate to find purchase somewhere. "Aki–"

"Fuck waiting until we get home," Aki hissed, licking a stripe all the way from your collarbone to your jaw, "Need you right now."

After Aki made good on his word, taking you right then and there, up against the wall of the dressing room with his hand covering your mouth, he paid for the dress himself, uttering something about having to buy it.

What a gentleman.

Later in the evening, you were standing in front of Aki's bedroom mirror, makeup strewn over the surface of his dresser, brush in hand. You were wearing the black dress from earlier (as per Aki's request). Behind you, Aki had his back turned, doing up the buttons of his freshly-ironed, white dress shirt – crisp white fabric tensing around the muscles in his back and shoulders ever-so slightly before relaxing. As you combed the bristles through your locks, you couldn't help but revel in the domesticity of it all.

He looks so fucking good.

You turned your attention back to your reflection, setting the brush down on the dresser. Then, reaching for the concealer you had just finished using, you dabbed a little onto your neck – over the red hickey he had left in the dressing room only a few hours earlier – and then tapped it into your skin. 

You caught Aki's reflection in the mirror. He was methodically adjusting his cuffs, his face neutral but focused. The sight of him in his neatly pressed shirt sent a quiet flutter through you, but beneath it, a pang of something heavier stirred. A memory.

"This feels like we're married, doesn't it?" you asked, the words leaving your lips softly, almost absentmindedly.

Aki glanced up, meeting your eyes in the mirror. His hands paused briefly, but he didn't respond immediately. You turned away from the mirror and looked at him directly, your heart tightening as you spoke again. 

"I used to do this with my husband," you admitted, voice tinged with a wistful melancholy. "Getting ready together. Picking out the right tie or fixing my makeup while he fussed over his hair." You smiled faintly at the thought, though it didn't quite reach your eyes. "That was before he started the... uh... the–" You swallowed, "The whole being-an-abuser thing..."

Aki's brows furrowed slightly, his hands still on his cuffs. He didn't interrupt, letting you continue.

"Is it crazy that I still think about him?" you confessed, the weight of those words surprising even yourself. "Not in a good way, but I just��� I can't seem to wipe him from my memory, you know?" Your voice caught, and you swallowed hard, glancing down at the floor. "How many years we spent together, and now... well, now I hate his guts."

"That's normal. You wasted years of your life on that piece of shit. He's not gonna just disappear, but..." he said quietly, his voice steady. "You don't have to forget him to move forward."

You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his, and for a moment, the world seemed to pause.

You don't have to forget him to move forward.

Can I... move forward?

"You're right," You sighed. Turning back to your reflection, you uncapped the rouge lipstick you had purchased the day before and painted your lips with it. "I think I'm just worried about tonight. I mean, what if he shows up?"

"Don't worry about that," He replied. It was sort of funny, how easily he said it. Like your husband was nothing more than an ant beneath his boot, something that passed like the wind. He slipped his tuxedo coat on with a similar grace, "He's not supposed to come."

"But what if he does?"

Finally, Aki turned around, regarding you with a faint hum, "Then you stay by my side and I beat his ass if he tries getting close to you."

His confidence was admirable. You had no doubt that he could take your husband in a fight. Still, the thought that he wanted to fight for you – the concept of having someone who loved you so much that they were willing to go to war for you – was something foreign to you. It was... nice. You hadn't ever experienced it before.

Why do I feel like crying? Biting back the tears and choosing to smile instead, you walked over to where your lover was standing – basked gently in the warm lamplight, shadows of his past dancing over his face, hair tied back into that stupid little topknot you loved so fucking much. Hell, you loved everything about him.

This is love.

You took the tie from his hands carefully. "Promise you won't leave me?"

Not tonight, not ever? 

Both of you knew what you meant, and it was more than just a request for the evening. It was a promise for the indefinite future, the promise of commitment, the promise that he would love you even on your worst days, when no one else could. 

"On my honor," He peered down into your eyes with nothing but fondness, like you hung the stars and the moon in the sky yourself. Then, barely fighting back a lovestruck grin, he answered, "I love you more than I've ever loved anything before, you know that?"

Promise you won't break my heart? You thought. He was the kind of handsome that made your heart ache. The kind of handsome you wouldn't be able to take getting your heart broken by – the kind of handsome you kept in a locket in your pocket when you went into battle, yearning to return so that you could see it once more.

"You look dashing, honey," You placed your hand on his chest. "Zip my dress up?"

"Of course, pretty girl," He smiled, visibly melting at the nickname – he's so cute. You turned around, baring your back to him. The dress's zipper was undone. His hands were warm and reassuring, grazing the skin of your back, reaching for the zipper and pulling it up. You had to fight a shiver as his hand climbed up your spine, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

When he was done, he laid his head on your shoulder and peered at your reflection, hands coming to rest on your waist. His eyes raked over your dressed form like you were a painting. "We look good together."

You smiled. "I still can't believe this is happening – us, the divorce," You sighed, "Not to kill the buzz."

"You're not chickening out on me, are you?" He teased.

"Of course not. I wanna be with you, Aki," You replied. "I'm not backing down now," A pause, then you continued, "I just... I'm a little lost. I don't know where to go from here. I don't even think I know any lawyers."

Aki pressed a kiss to your nape, murmuring, "I can help you. Don't worry about all of that tonight, though, okay? Just try to have a good time."

Try to have a good time.

Yeah, he's right.

You smiled at his reflection in the mirror. Then, wheeling yourself around, you tossed the tie around his shoulders.

You wound the fabric around his neck – the same way you used to do with your husband so long ago. The way you hadn't in so many years. Then, like they had memories of their own, your hands worked the tie into a bow. Once you were done, you patted his chest for good measure. (It felt like you were patting a wall of muscle, of course). 

Rather than thanking you verbally, Aki leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips.

Then another.

And, when you didn't stop him, he gave you another.

"Aki," You giggled. His love was dizzying – wrapping around you like perfume and making your head feel light. "My lipstick."

"Sorry," He chuckled, not sounding the very least bit sorry about it. Still, he gave in, stepping back to admire you (but not before taking the opportunity to smack your ass). "I'm gonna check on Denji. Gotta make sure he doesn't fuck up my old suit."

You smiled, "He's 16, isn't he? I think he can handle dressing himself."

"Last time we had a black-tie event, he decided not to tell anyone that he totally fucked the buttons up until after the party was halfway over," He replied. "You overestimate him."

"I can help him," You added. "Does he know how to tie a tie?"

"Not a chance," He snapped back, already heading out the door. "You're only allowed to do that shit for me. He can piss off."

He's so jealous, You mused. Still, you couldn't deny the way your eyes dropped down to his slack-bound ass as he walked out the door. He looks so good in slacks, it's not even funny.

Your quiet reverie was interrupted by a sharp knock at the door. Before you could answer, it swung open, and Power's wild head of hair popped in. Her expression was unusually... uncertain, her eyes darting around the room before finally landing on you. 

"You," she said, pointing dramatically. "Help me."

You blinked. "Me?"

"Yes, you!" she said with a huff, stepping fully into the room. She was wearing a suit of her own. "Topknot said I look like feces. Feces! Can you believe that?!" 

"Actually, yeah," you said, lips twitching into a smirk before you could stop yourself. Power glared, but it lacked her usual venom, replaced instead by something almost... sheepish. 

She groaned. "You're the only other girl around here. Teach me! Make me not look like feces."

"Uh..." You glanced at her face, then at the chaotic contents of the bag. It looked like she'd raided a dollar store makeup aisle and grabbed whatever she thought was shiny. "Do you even know what any of this is for?"

"Of course not!" she snapped, crossing her arms like you'd offended her deeply. "That's why I came to you. Now, fix my face!"

You stared at her for a moment, caught between surprise and amusement. "Alright, fine. Sit down," you said, gesturing toward the foot of Aki's bed. "But if you're gonna ask for my help, you have to actually listen to me."

"Fine, fine," Power grumbled, plopping into the chair with all the grace of a sack of potatoes. "Just make me look better than him." She jabbed a finger toward the door, clearly referring to Aki. 

You couldn't help but laugh as you started sorting through her chaotic collection of makeup. "That's a tall order, Power. But I'll do my best."

Power squirmed on the edge of Aki's bed, her knees bouncing with impatience. "How long is this going to take? I don't have all day, you know!" 

You rolled your eyes as you sorted through the chaotic pile of makeup she'd brought. Most of it was a disaster—cheap glitter, unflattering shades of lipstick, and eyeshadow palettes that looked like they'd been designed by a clown. "If you want me to make you look good, you'll have to sit still and stop complaining." 

Power groaned dramatically, flopping backward. "This is torture. I thought humans were supposed to be good at this kind of thing!" 

"Some of us are," you said, holding up a small collection of products you deemed usable. "But if you keep moving like that, I'm going to make you look worse than 'feces.'" 

She bolted upright, glaring at you. "Impossible! I, Power, cannot look worse than feces!" 

You smirked, stepping closer with a makeup brush in hand. "We'll see about that. Now close your eyes." 

Power reluctantly complied, squeezing her eyes shut like a kid about to take medicine. You began gently brushing a soft beige eyeshadow across her lids, choosing a subtle color to even out her skin tone. 

"Why is this taking so long?" she mumbled, her voice laced with irritation. "Just slap it on and be done!" 

You resisted the urge to sigh. "Makeup isn't about 'slapping it on.' It's an art. You have to take your time." 

She cracked one eye open, peering at you suspiciously. "You like doing this, don't you? Messing with my face." 

You snorted. "You're the one who asked me for help." 

"I didn't ask," she shot back. "I demanded. There's a difference." 

"Of course there is," you said dryly, moving on to her eyeliner. "Now hold still. This part's tricky." 

As you carefully traced a wing along her lash line, Power muttered, "Why do humans care so much about this? Isn't it better to be feared than admired?" 

"Maybe," you replied, leaning back to inspect your work. "But admiration has its perks. And it doesn't hurt to look nice every now and then." 

Power scoffed. "I already look nice. I'm the pinnacle of beauty." 

You smirked, reaching for a tube of mascara. "You'd look better if you stopped bragging." 

She opened her mouth to retort but snapped it shut when you held up the wand. "What's that?" 

"Mascara," you said. "It makes your lashes look longer." 

"Longer lashes? What's the point of that?" 

"To look pretty," you said, leaning closer. "Now blink." 

Power blinked, the wand brushing her lashes. She flinched slightly but didn't complain. "This is weird. Do you do this every day?" 

"Not every day," you admitted. "But sometimes, yeah. It's fun." 

She was quiet for a moment, her golden eyes flicking to yours. "You do it for Topknot, don't you?" 

You felt your cheeks warm. "I don't do it for him." 

Power smirked, clearly pleased with herself. "Hah! I knew it. You're trying to keep him hooked!" 

"It's certainly a perk," you said with a shrug, dabbing a soft blush on her cheeks. "He likes me with or without makeup, though."

"He likes you a lot. Like, in general," Power frowned, looking uncharacteristically thoughtful. "He's... less boring these days. You make him less boring." 

You paused, surprised by the honesty in her tone. "Thanks, Power. That means a lot." 

"Don't get mushy on me," she grumbled, crossing her arms. "Just finish already." 

You smiled, reaching for the final touch—a tube of lipstick in a flattering shade of pink. "Alright, last step. Hold still." 

Power pouted dramatically as you applied the lipstick, her sharp teeth peeking out when she smirked. "Am I done now?" 

"Almost," you said, stepping back to admire your work. She looked... surprisingly polished. The soft tones balanced out her wild energy, giving her a refined edge without losing her unique charm. 

"Okay, now you're done," you said, handing her a mirror. 

Power snatched it eagerly, her eyes widening as she took in her reflection. "Whoa... I look.. amazing!" She spun toward you, her grin wide and toothy. "I'm a goddess!" 

You laughed, shaking your head. "You look good, Power. But don't let it go to your head." 

"Too late!" she declared, striking a dramatic pose. Then, to your surprise, she bowed deeply. "Thank you, lowly human. Your skills are worthy of my magnificence." 

Before you could respond, she bolted for the door, yelling, "Topknot! Behold my beauty!" 

Aki appeared in the doorway just in time to watch her sprint down the hall. He sighed, his hand smoothing over his tuxedo and, God, he looked as good as always. "What did you do to her?" 

"Just gave her a little confidence boost," you said with a grin. 

Aki stepped into the room, looking sharp in his tailored suit. His gaze softened as it landed on you. "You look beautiful."

Before he could say more, Denji peeked around the corner, his curiosity evident. "Sorry to interrupt. What's with Power? She's yelling about being a goddess or something." 

You smiled, leaning into Aki as he sighed again. "She asked me to do her makeup," you said warmly. 

Denji's eyes widened, "That's like putting lipstick on a pig."

"And you wearing a suit isn't the same shit?" Aki retorted. Then, one last look at you, and he was reiterating his previous compliment, "That dress looks phenomenal on you, by the way."

His gaze lingered for a beat longer, his lips curving into the smallest of smirks, as if daring you to remember too.

"Yeah, miss!" Denji chimed in with an enthusiastic thumbs-up. "You're seriously smokin'!"

Aki didn't even hesitate. He jabbed Denji right in the nuts, sending him doubling over with a dramatic groan.

"Idiot," Aki muttered, though he didn't look the least bit sorry. He turned back to you, brushing his knuckles gently against your hand. "Are you ready to go?"

You smiled, letting your fingers graze his before rising to your feet. "Ready as I'll ever be."

Aki stepped aside to let you pass, his hand resting lightly on your lower back as you made your way out. Denji followed behind, still muttering complaints about "stupid old men" as they all piled into the car.

a/n: I LOVE DENJI SO MUCH UGH. i wanted some comfort before i wrote the next chapter. pls beware omg. all ill say is that all of you will FINALLY BE SATISFIED!!!! let me know your predictions or whatnot in the comments below!!!! Love u alllllll xx QOTD: What do you do for work/study? x

credits: UNKOWN ATM. I found the cover pic on pinterest unfortch. If you know the artist, please let me know, so I can credit them properly for their work!!! This is NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGGG. I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

taglist: @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505 , @acethebrave , @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505

wanna join the taglist? | shameless ; chapter index

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

A very smutty Hellcheer fic

18+ MINORS DNI

Chrissy played with the hem of her skirt, nervous as she sat in Eddie Munson's van. She smiled as she replayed the scene in the woods over and over in her mind. She had felt more safe with Eddie in that moment than she had ever done with Jason or even her parents. He had done anything to make her smile, and she couldn't help but think about him dropping to the ground like that. . .the goofy grin on his face. He didn't care that he made himself look silly. . .he wanted to make her feel safe. He wanted to make her smile.

"You alright there, Cunningham?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah," Chrissy said, biting her lip and trying not to think about his ass being in air when he rolled onto the ground.

"You're welcome to listen to music even if I have to suffer listening to Madonna," Eddie teased.

"Hey, she's not that bad," Chrissy laughed. "I prefer Bob Dylan, though."

"You have excellent taste then," Eddie said.

She wanted to listen to some of his music, though. She wanted to get a glimpse of what she might hear when she did go see him play at the Hideout. She found one of his cassettes: Metallica. The image of Eddie pulling his shirt down to show her his tattoos popped into her mind and the way he pulled his hair in front of his face when he looked shyly at her. All signs clearly showed that he was interested as well. Chrissy popped in the tape, curious about Eddie's taste in music. He looked at her in surprise.

"I wanted to try something new," Chrissy said.

Eddie grinned and turned the music up. Chrissy watched him. He beat his hands on the steering wheel, and he moved his head to the music. Her eyes focused on his fingers. . .the way they moved. What would they feel like inside of her? Chrissy swallowed and felt brave all of a sudden. She grabbed Eddie's hand and placed it on her leg. He looked at her in surprise again.

"I broke up with Jason. I decided I decided I deserved someone better," Chrissy said and paused. "He could never get me to cum. . .I have a feeling you could, though."

"Are you serious? I mean, you wouldn't be the first person to hit on me as a joke," Eddie said.

"If you'd let me I'd fuck you in front of the entire basketball team to prove to you that I'm serious and I don't give a fuck what other people think anymore," Chrissy said. "I'm tired of them telling me how they want me to live my life. I decide. . .I want you, Eddie."

She moved his hand up her skirt and pressed his palm up against her already wet panties.

"Fuck," Eddie said, his voice breaking.

"That's just me thinking about your fingers inside me," Chrissy said. "Just imagine if they were actually there."

Eddie pressed his fingers against her soaked panties. She moaned, spreading her legs to allow him better access. She bunched up her skirt in her hands as Eddie began to stroke her through her underwear. God, she wanted to squeeze her legs together and keep his hand there forever. He hadn't even really touched her yet. He moved his fingers up and down her clothed entrance. . .he was teasing her. He walked his fingers over to the edge of her underwear, and she bit her lip, trying not to giggle. How he was doing this and still managing to focus on the road, she didn't know. His fingers slipped underneath the cloth, pushing them aside. The tips of fingers pushed through her folds, and she gasped. It felt like there was a fire blazing in her belly. . .throughout her entire body. She wanted more. His fingers moved, getting closer to where she wanted him to be. Suddenly, his fingers moved down and she groaned.

"Hm, I know it's around here somewhere," Eddie said.

"Eddie!" Chrissy exclaimed.

"I swear I know where it is," Eddie said seriously.

She looked over at him and he was struggling not to smile.

"You know damn well where my clitoris is," Chrissy said, trying not to giggle.

"Hm, I think you're going to have to give me directions, sweetheart," Eddie said. "Oh, wait, there it is! Is that where you want me to be?"

Eddie moved his fingers and touched her clitoris.

"Yes," she gasped. "There! Right there!"

"Yeah, you want me there. . .begging for my fingers. . .for any part of me. . ." Eddie said.

"Yes!"

He massaged it, and she let out another moan, squeezing her skirt tighter as he began to tease her again. Eddie pulled his fingers out before putting them back in again, finding her clitoris almost immediately. He played with her pussy like it was an instrument, and he was eager to hear the sweet music that came out of her mouth. The music was building and building. . .He pulled away again, just as she was getting ready to spill over his fingers. He teased her folds, running the tips of his fingers over her entrance.

"You want to cum on my fingers, baby?" Eddie asked. "You want me to make you cum?"

"Please!"

It didn't take long for her to release when he entered her again. She couldn't help but giggle when he pulled out and lapped at his fingers furiously. It was rather cartoonish. That's when he cursed.

"Goddamnit, I missed the trailer park. I drove way past it," Eddie said.

"Did I distract you?" She laughed.

"It was a good distraction," Eddie blushed.

They pulled up to the trailer, and as Eddie moved around the van to open her door, Chrissy quickly shimmied out of her panties. When she got out, she slipped them into Eddie's pocket. He didn't even notice, too busy beaming at her. Once Eddie closed the door, Chrissy pushed him up against the side of the van and attacked his lips with her own. He didn't waste a second kissing her back, cupping the back of her head and clutching her ponytail. She broke the kiss, running her hands over his chest.

"I wonder how many times you can make me cum tonight," Chrissy said. "The only time I've ever actually did that was with myself."

"Never with Jason?" He asked.

"He doesn't have what you have," she said.

"What's that?" He asked.

"Magic," she replied.

He quickly grabbed her hand and brought her to the door, rushing to open it. He bowed as he let her in.

"Welcome to Castle Munson, sorry the maid - ,"

She yanked him inside, slamming the door close. Chrissy wrapped her arms around his neck and glanced around the room.

"Are we alone?" She asked.

"Yeah, my uncle works nights at the plant," Eddie said. "We're good."

"Good," she said and kissed him.

Eddie broke the kiss, cupping her face as he looked at her like he couldn't believe she was real.

"You know, you came here for drugs," he grinned.

"I found something better. Take me to your room," Chrissy said and he gestured like he wanted to throw her over his shoulder. "Yes!"

Eddie cackled gleefully and carefully slung her over his shoulder.

"Onward!"

"My face is lined up perfectly with your butt," she giggled. "I'm tempted to take a bite."

"Let your freak flag fly, Cunningham," Eddie said, and she leaned forward, biting into his left buttcheek. "Oooh!"

Chrissy giggled delightfully as he brought her into his room and tossed her on the bed. Eddie smiled, gazing at her in awe. He continued to stare at her, and she stared back, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She ignored the voice in the back of her head, the one that's been telling her all week she's worthless. Seeing the way that Eddie looked her. . .she didn't feel so worthless.

"What?" She asked him.

"You're so. . .amazing," Eddie said.

"So are you," she said, and then he frowned. "What?"

"How did you make your panties disappear so fast?" Eddie asked.

Chrissy looked down. Her skirt had flared up when Eddie tossed her on the bed.

"Check your vest pocket," Chrissy said.

Eddie dug into his pocket and pulled out her panties. He gasped.

"You're a magician!" He yelled, flashing his dimples.

"It wasn't my best, but I used to dream about being one. My mother told me it was stupid," Chrissy said.

"Fuck her," Eddie scowled and then beamed. "Can I be your assistant?"

"Yes. . .now, for my next trick. . .I'm going to make you cum without touching you," Chrissy said.

She was feeling a lot bolder with Eddie. . .a lot more confident knowing that she could do things with him that Jason would never allow her to do. Chrissy slid off the bed and stood up. She slowly stripped off her clothes, Eddie's eyes growing darker by the second. Once she was fully naked before him, she shook her hair out of its ponytail, letting her strawberry blonde hair fall around her naked shoulders. She laid back onto the bed and spread her legs. She ran her hand down her body, moving over the swell of her breast and down to cup her sex. She glanced at the guitar hanging up on the wall before looking back at Eddie.

"I wonder. . .I never played guitar before, but if you taught me, I bet I'd look good playing it naked," Chrissy gasped as she touched herself. "Don't you think?"

"Fuuuucck," Eddie groaned. "I'm fucking close, you witch."

He dropped her panties and then quickly shed his clothes. Chrissy giggled as he nearly fell over a couple of times. She sat up and moved to the edge of his bed. Finally, he was naked. Chrissy gripped his naked hips and pulled him closer to her. He was definitely hard. Chrissy met his eyes, and he swallowed hard.

"What?" She asked.

"You know, it's more than okay if you want to do whatever you feel is weird," Eddie said, cupping her face.

"Are you saying I can do whatever I want to do you?" She asked.

"Yeah," he said softly.

"Including biting?" She asked.

"Especially biting," he said.

She leaned forward and started placing kisses onto his stomach. He groaned. She smirked and ran her tongue over his skin. He shuddered under touch. She gently bit down on the spot that she licked and kissed. He moaned loudly and grabbed the the back of her head.

"You like that, baby?" She asked.

"Fuck, yeah," Eddie said.

"I'm going to mark you up like you're my canvas," Chrissy said.

Eddie laughed and leaned down to place a hard kiss on her lips. He pulled back, still laughing.

"You drive me crazy in the best way," Eddie said. "It's been less than 24 hours. What the hell are you doing to me?"

"You drive me crazy, too," Chrissy said.

Chrissy grabbed one of his condoms and rolled it onto his dick before pulling him down on top of her. She guided him to her pussy and she gasped as he slowly slid in. He teased her with the tip, putting it in and then pulling it out. Chrissy growled, and he laughed.

"Something wrong, darling?" He asked.

Chrissy wasn't afraid of asking for what she wanted, not now, or to demand it either.

"Just fuck me, already, Eddie!" Chrissy yelled.

She bit his shoulder as he slid all the way in.

"Okay, I'm in. Is there anything else you want me to do while I'm here?" He asked.

Chrissy laughed.

"Eddie!" She yelled and slapped his ass.

"Giddyup!" Eddie yelled, and she couldn't help but laugh harder. "Keep laughing. The vibrations feel great."

Eddie thrusted into her, and she groaned as another giggle slipped out as Eddie used his dungeon master voice to narrate what he was doing. She never knew how silly sex could be and she fucking loved it. She wrapped her legs around him, holding onto him tightly as he fucked into her. She let out a yell as euphoria filled her head. . .reaching every corner of her mind. It was blocking out the darkness inside of her and the monster she had created. . .the personification of all her trauma and insecurities was trying to get through, but no amount of rage could break through this feeling she had. Fuck you, she thought. The only person who was ever going to be inside her would be Eddie Munson. And as Eddie collapsed against her, Chrissy grinned. She never felt so free.

[hedwig221b]

[narrator's voice] Derek is not human, despite what Stiles thinks. Derek also knows something that Stiles doesn't - that Stiles is pregnant

read full version

Cold blood slithered down his forearms to his elbows and dripped on the floor. His hands were slick with it, oily with all the fat that saturated the flesh.

His sharpened teeth dug into the meat and tore chunks of it out. He swallowed it almost without chewing, so hungry he was. The sounds felt too loud in the silence of the night, the whirring of the fridge the only accompaniment to his long-awaited feast.

It didn’t matter that he was used to the hot flesh. No, this was good, too, even with the faint notes of grass throughout—

“Stiles?”

Stiles froze.

Suddenly, he saw everything — the opened fridge, the dim light from inside; he felt the cold kitchen tiles under his bare feet, the chill that stuck to his skin. Something cold and soft and slick in his hands.

Stiles let it go.

The half-eaten steak smacked onto the floor right between his feet.

No. No, no, no.

Stiles didn’t want to turn, deathly afraid of what might happen after. He just stood there, staring at the meat, waiting for Derek to shout, to yell, to call him insane and kick him out—

Strong hands grabbed him by the shoulders and turned his body away from the fridge. Familiar hands cupped his undoubtedly pale and bloody face and turned up.

Derek’s wide eyes were full to the brim with concern.

He will leave, he will leave, he will leave.

“Baby, listen to me, it’s okay.”

Stiles opened his mouth to talk, but the taste chose this exact moment to remind him about what he had just done. Everything tasted like meat, like blood.

Whatever expression he had on his face made Derek frown even harder. The man shook him a little.

“Focus on me, Stiles. It’s okay. It’s fine. I’m here. It was probably a dream, that’s all.”

That was no dream.

Stiles didn’t remember waking up or walking to the kitchen. If Derek didn’t snap him out of it, he could’ve… could’ve…

“Come here, sweetheart.” Gently, oh so gently, Derek took his wrists and led him to the sink. He washed Stiles’ hands himself, holding them as if they were more fragile and thinner than crystal.

Stiles watched his hands move and barely had any feeling in his own. He was only vaguely aware of the wall of heat that was Derek’s body in front of him, of his muscles flexing under his movements, of the edge of his clenched jaw.

What had he done?

“That’s it,” said Derek, turning off the water. He dried his hands, then led him to the bar stool, helping him up. “Come on, arms up.”

Stiles lifted his arms as if in a trance. He didn’t understand why Derek asked him that at first, but then felt the cold seep into his skin as the man took off his shirt.

Oh. Right. It was probably covered in blood, too.

Derek’s shadow disappeared then returned a couple of seconds later. Something warm and wet touched his face — his own t-shirt, Stiles realized. Derek was cleaning his face. From chunks of meat, fat, and blood.

Stiles lifted his eyes.

Derek met his gaze for a fraction of a second, then returned to cleaning.

“Derek.”

“Shh.”

Stiles shut up. His eyes stung, and his whole body was breaking out in shivers.

Derek noticed, of course, always weirdly attuned to Stiles’ body. Putting the t-shirt aside, he hopped over into the living room and came back with a blanket in his hands, which he then promptly put around Stiles.

God, he probably thought Stiles was such a fucking freak. Derek was probably in shock himself.

“On a scale of one to ten,” said Stiles in a shaking voice, “how much do you want me to leave and never come back?”

He was probably going to be told to pack his things in three, two—

Stiles didn’t expect Derek to step between his spread legs and sweep him into a tight hug.

Fuck, he didn’t need to add tears to the horror scene, not now.

“Never joke about it,” said Derek into his ear, grabbing his waist harder. “Never.”

“But—”

“I swear to god, if I have to lock you inside, I would.”

Stiles wanted to curl into himself from the heaviness of his voice. He dug his fingers into Derek’s shoulders and sagged against him with his chin against the man’s shoulder.

“So we’re going to, like, pretend nothing happened? Is that what you mean?” he asked.

“No. No, of course, not. Look at yourself, you’re trembling like a leaf.” Derek rubbed his back as if it would help. As if anything would help. “I told you, it’s okay. You’ve just had a very intense dream and sleepwalked.”

Oh, Derek. Stiles was honestly flattered and a little bit horrified by the lengths Derek was willing to go to delude himself into thinking Stiles was normal.

Fuck, Derek was such a naive human. Stiles couldn’t let him think that. It was simply dangerous.

“Derek, sleepwalking or not, you cannot tell me it wasn’t freaky.”

“It’s not.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake—”

“And it’s my fault anyway.”

“How the fuck was that—”

“How are you feeling?” Not listening to a word he said, Derek put his palm against Stiles’ stomach, rubbing the skin with his thumb. “Nausea? Pain?”

“N-no?”

“Do you still want to eat?”

Now Stiles really looked at him. What was he supposed to say? Wasn’t that kind of a strange question? Stiles was, like, fifty percent sure that when humans got food poisoning they were put on a diet of chicken broth and crackers. Did Derek think he had just got poisoned?

What was he supposed to say?

“Uhh,” Stiles blinked at him. Well, maybe if he went for the truth… Derek was human after all, he had to know what to do. “Kind of?”

“Okay, that is fine.” Derek nodded at him as if talking to an idiot. “Sit here, baby, okay? Just relax. I’m going to cook something for you.”

After pressing a light apologetic kiss on Stiles’ forehead, Derek left him sitting alone. Stiles watched in confusion (mixed with something shaking, warm, and aching) as he marched to the fridge, took something out, then plopped the pan right on the stove.

He always loved watching Derek cook. He did it with a strange grace, his movements quick but precise. The muscles on his back and shoulders played delicately in the low warm light; his grey pants rode low on his hips. Derek was cooking for him.

For him.

Stiles crossed his arms on the table and laid his forehead on his hands.

Breathing, listening. Trying not to fall apart completely.

He didn’t deserve this man. Never did and never will.

Something hissed and sizzled. Fat or oil bubbled on the hot surface, sputtering droplets everywhere. Soon, the kitchen filled with a delicious smell of…

Grilled meat?

Stiles looked up.

Derek stood by the stove, leaning with one hand on the counter, and holding the steak with tongs in another. He remained silent as he cooked, turning the meat and pressing it on all sides. Shoved it in the oven, then stared with a blank faraway gaze at the stove as it cooked. Took it out after a few minutes, back into the pan, basting it with butter, garlic, and some herbs.

Not a single word, until…

“Here.”

…a plate with a perfectly grilled juicy rare steak was put in front of him.

Stiles stared at the bronzed buttered surface of the meat, then swallowed the spit that instantly filled his mouth.

He licked his lips, cleared his throat, then turned a hesitant gaze up at Derek, who was watching him like a hawk.

“I can eat it?”

Derek’s eyes drilled into his.

“I cooked it for you.”

Stiles wiggled in his seat. “Yeah, no, I meant…” he had to keep his act as a human so Derek would have to bear stupid questions. “Can I eat it so soon after?..”

Derek was… yep, still staring. “Kitten,” he started with a strange smile on his lips that didn’t match his wild gaze, “you bet your pretty ass you can eat anything I put in front of you. I’ll always give you the best. That steak you ate? “Premium” doesn’t begin to cover it. I’m also quite sure that your stomach can handle it. You’re human, yes, but you’re still a predator.”

Stiles’ whole body went still as a statue.

Does he kn—

No. No, stupid, how would he fucking know? If Derek knew what kind of predator Stiles really was, he would run away instead of trying to soothe him with a treat.

“I know what you need, Stiles,” Derek added, a touch softer than before. “Eat.”

Derek had no idea what Stiles needed. However, this time, he guessed right.

Stiles licked his lips discreetly, pushed the plate towards himself, and began eating.

He ate the whole thing under Derek’s heavy stare. When Stiles offered him the bite, he only stretched his lips in this secretive smile of his, this time full of… pride? Satisfaction? Pleasure? Whatever it was, Derek refused.

If only Stiles allowed himself to dream, it would be of this. Of Derek accepting him for who he was. A predator.

Yet, usually, the human-eating predators didn’t have the same respect as others. And no matter how much it was romanticized, Stiles did not want to die from his lover’s hand.

[cillianmurphysdimples]

If there was ever a remake of On The Edge, they should just cast Cillian's son, Aran, and you'd never even fucking notice. ABSOLUTE SPIT OF HIS DAD! There's a particular scene where he's outside and the camera is squared in on his face and I swear to god, his son is his double, but like throughout... It's madness! My kids don't look like me, I find it fascinating when other people's do 🤣

Tonight I'm watching On The Edge, in case you didn't realise.

[odigaon]

three’s a crowd

summary: your boyfriend talks you into a threesome with his bestfriend

pairings: junhan x reader x gaon

warnings/tags: threesome, oral (f and m receiving), face slapping, dumbification, squirting, spitting, praise, dom! junhan, switch! gaon, sub! reader

word count: 2.4k

unedited!

“Y/N I swear to god if you don’t pick a movie already I’m coming over there and sitting on you.” Dee snarkily remarks as her best friend continues to flip through movie after movie across various apps.

“Nice try. You’re not Junhan.” Y/N smartly replies back.

Neither one of them could decide which movie they should watch: tired of the usuals and wanting to be able to settle in with their respective boyfriends was leaving the both of them antsy and on edge. The movie was simply going to be a distraction for them: watching their boyfriends spend an entire day doing domestic things with them had left the both of them feeling rather frustrated. Unfortunately, neither of them was going to have any quality time with their boyfriends until later seeing as how the rest of the members were also going to be or were already present in the house.

“Okay smart one,” you say, “you pick a movie then.”

“The Conjuring 2.”

“Absolutely not.”

“C’mon pleaseeee? Next time we cuddle I’ll scratch your back?”

“You already do that anyways, so how does that benefit me at all?”

“Please dude? Don’t you wanna be able to cuddle up to Junhan throughout it?”

You pull your glasses down until they’re resting on the tip of your nose, “Well. When you put it like that.”

Seungmin finds his way into the living room and sits next to Dee, “Oh no,” you think, “This is not going to go over well with Gunil.”

“Seungminnie! What’s up?” Dee excitedly questions.

“Nothing. Just came to see if you guys picked a movie yet.” he says while ever so sneakily throwing his arm loosely around her shoulders. Being the cuddle bug she is, she naturally leans into him.

“Gunil is REALLY not going to like that.” you think to yourself once again.

Dee and Seungmin start to babble in conversation while you let your mind drift elsewhere. Towards Junhan. Towards his beautiful face. His elegant hands where one of his fingers is encapsulated in his favorite armor ring. His precious bunny smi-

“What are you thinking about, Jagi?” Junhan startles you out of your daydream with his simple soft spoken question and you smile up at him.

“Something really important,” you answer with a soft smile on your face.

Meanwhile Gunil finally arrives at your house with Gaon hot on his heels. Both of them seem to be holding bags or items from Guitar Center. Of course they decided to go there in their off time. Why didn’t they bring you?

The talking and laughing suddenly ceases as Gunil and Gaon take in the scene in front of them. Seungmin’s arm tightly wrapped around Dee’s shoulders on the couch and you and Junhan cuddled up to one another on the opposite side.

“Goobear! You’re finally here!” Dee exclaims.

Gunil strides over to the couch and stands in front of Dee.

“You and I need to talk.”

The tone of his voice makes your blood run cold and evidently Dee’s too judging by the look on her face.

“About what?”

“I’d rather not address it out here. Y/N is there somewhere her and I can talk?”

Just before you go to answer, Seungmin stands up and gets eye level with Gunil. Is he puffing out his chest?

“Is there a problem?” Seungmin asks semi-threateningly

“Yeah. And it doesn’t concern you, Seungmin-ah. Sit down. Dee. Please?” Gunil’s says while holding out his hand for Dee to take.

“You can talk in my parents’ room.”

Dee stands to leave with Gunil, but not before shooting you a wink and an eyebrow wiggle.

“NOT ON MY PARENTS’ BED!”

“SHUT UP! WE’RE NOT DOING IT ON THE BED.” Dee yells back before the door to your parents' room shuts with finality.

“I’m gonna have to burn the carpet aren’t I?” You say aloud.

Junhan just giggles at the antics of his leader’s and his own girlfriend and after a little while Seungmin clears his throat and declares that he’s going to leave with the rest of the guys to get back to their respective hotel rooms after hearing the words “You think Seungmin can fuck you like this?” leave Gunil’s lips; Leaving you with only Gaon and Junhan as company.

The sounds emanating from your parents’ room leads you to turn up the volume on the TV before you hear anything you rather wouldn’t.

Sandwiched in between the two guitarists, your pulse starts to quicken and your heart is thrumming against your chest. Why the hell is Gaon so close to you? At this point, your upper body is laying on Junhan while your lower half is nearly thrown over Gaon’s lap.

“My love? Can we talk to you?”

“We?”

With that, Gaon throws his arm around your shoulders, “Yeah beautiful. We need to talk,”

Junhan’s hand that has been around your waist now begins to rub at your side.

“I know you like Gaon,”

“Wha-what? What do you mean?”

“My love, don’t play dumb. I’ve seen the way you look at him. Especially while he’s practicing. Don’t worry I’m not mad. I just want to use this as an opportunity.”

“An opportunity?”

“Gaon likes you too.”

That makes your heart nearly stop. Gaon…likes you…?

“Yeah he does. And we talked about it and we have a proposal for you.”

“A proposal?”

“Let us make you feel good?”

You lock eyes with the both of them before a “Yes,” leaves your lips.

Junhan gives you a short kiss on the lips before turning to Gaon and saying, “Do your thing.”

Gaon begins by getting on his knees in front of you and stretching his hands across the expanse of your thighs. He asks with his eyes if it's okay to unbutton your pants and you nod frantically. After shucking them and your underwear off of you, he grabs you by the knees and pushes open your legs to reveal your soaked center. Without notice, Junhan sneakily moves in behind you to let your head and body rest on his chest.

Gaon wraps his hands under your thighs and pulls you forward until you’re resting on the edge of the couch. Letting his hands and practiced fingers trail up the insides of your thighs to tease you, he begins to slowly inch his face towards your cunt. Attaching his perfect plump lips to your swollen clit has you keening and leaning back into Junhan before he decides to go even further and push his his middle finger past your entrance and begins fucking you open for him. Pushing in another finger proves to be too much for you as it sends you hurtling towards your climax embarrassingly fast.

“You gonna cum for us baby?” Jun asks softly

One of your hands reaches for Gaon’s hair while the other blindly searches for Junhan’s.

“Yes, please, can I?”

“Cum whenever you want my love.”

And with that, you’re releasing all over Gaon’s tongue and hands. He doesn’t stop when you’ve orgasmed, however. He continues to fuck you through it into oversensitivity until you’re beginning to writhe in Junhan’s arms and Gaon is forced to hold your hips down with his free hand. Junhan then secures his arms around your upper body, effectively trapping you to his chest and making it harder for you to squirm away. Pressing his mouth into you harder, Gaon starts pistoning his fingers in and out of you until you’re nothing but a mess of incoherent whines and babbles.

Gaon continues these motions until, for the first time in your life, you start squirting all over his face.

“Nnnngh!” you let out as the shock of such a quick and powerful orgasm wracks through your body.

“That’s it my love. You’re doing so good for us, isn’t she Gaon?”

Gaon simply replies with a breathy and whiney moan straight into your pussy that has your abdomen clenching and thighs threatening to snap shut around Gaon’s head.

Jesus fuck how was he so good at this? This is definitely the hottest thing that has ever happened to you. You can feel Gaon’s spit soaking your folds and sliding down your ass. That combined with your release just makes the scene extra nasty to any person who could accidentally walk in on the scene in front of them.

Now you’re just hoping that this energy continues throughout the night.

Gaon pulls away from your pussy just long enough to mutter, “What should we do with her next, Junhan-ah?”

—-

In a breath you’re on your knees on the floor sitting on Gaon’s face with Junhan’s cock in your mouth. His hand is laced through your hair and gently guiding you up and down his length. God you could really cum from just sucking his cock. It was perfect. The way he fit inside you just like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle made you never want to let him go.

Gaon’s quiet moans against your pussy bring you back from daydreaming about your boyfriend’s cock. You let go of Junhan with an audible pop! While continuing to stroke him with your hand, you turn your head to look over your shoulder to find Gaon with one hand wrapped around his cock, making your hips twitch against his face. Turning back around you slip Junhan’s cock back into your mouth and start sucking him off with a fervor, your spare hand that isn't laced through Gaon’s hair strokes the remaining inches of his cock that your mouth can’t quite fit. Your hips seem to have a mind of their own as you begin to grind yourself over Gaon’s face. Your moans are music to both of their ears.

“Oh fuck, Y/N, Y/N, Y/N stop for a second, please,” Junhan whines out while gingerly pulling you off his cock.

“What is it, my love?” you whine

“Don’t wanna cum yet,” he sighs breathily, “but that doesn’t mean you can’t.”

And with that, Junhan slides his middle and ringer into your mouth and holds your mouth open just enough for him to spit in it. He pulls his fingers out and closes your mouth for you while saying, “Swallow.”

Junhan places his hand on the side of your face and locks eyes with you, he needs your consent. With just one look in your eyes he understands how much you need it. Pulling his hand back, he slaps you across the cheek and you moan out loud and your eyes roll back in your head. Between your legs, Gaon presses his fingers into your g spot and you’re suddenly cumming all over his face once again with a half moan/scream.

Junhan pets your head and asks, “You think you can handle one more, my love?”

You let your head lean into the warmth of Junhan’s hand while you mumble out a simple, “Yeah.”

“Okay. You think you can stand up for me?”

Junhan helps you to your feet and maneuvers you to the back of your couch near the armrest and bends you over it. Gaon then promptly sits with his back against the armrest so he can slide his cock into your mouth.

He then leans down and whispers into your ear, “I like it messy.”

Before you know it, Junhan is slipping his cock between your folds and into your entrance. He slides in so easily and bottoms out inside you in an instant. Your moan is muffled by Gaon's cock between your lips. Drool is sliding down his cock and towards his balls and pelvis while you try your best to ground yourself by gripping on to the couch and Gaon’s thigh.

“Oh fuck yeah,” Gaon whispers out while putting his arms behind his head as you suck him off better than anyone has before. He’s been close for the last 30 minutes so he doesn’t think he’ll be lasting very long with you going down on him like this.

Junhan starts fucking into you a little faster now, your combined earlier releases plus yours and Gaon’s spit is making it incredibly nasty and easy for Junhan to fuck you like a slut over the back of your couch in your living room with one of his best friend’s cocks in your mouth.

As Junhan increasingly picks up his tempo in his thrusts, you begin to push your ass back in time with him. Gaon’s hands are threading through your hair and bobbing your head up and down his cock. The sounds emanating from this living room are downright sinful. Junhan begins slamming his hips into yours.

“God you’re so fucking wet, my love. Absolutely soaking my cock. You love this so much don’t you? You love that you have the two of us having you like this don’t you?”

“Yeah she does. She’s sucking my cock so well right now. Moaning like a good girl as she takes whatever we give her.”

God your mind is melting. The words coming from their mouths plus the combination of Gaon’s cock in your mouth and Junhan’s cock between your legs has you coming around Junhan in no time.

He leans down to whisper how good you are and how much he loves you along with more filth about cumming inside you and filling you up with his cum. His whining starts to pick up more as he gets closer to his peak and all of the sudden Gaon is letting out a loud groan and cumming in your mouth.

A few more thrusts later and Junhan is cumming inside you with a loud moan. You all just bask in the after sex glow for a minute to catch your breath before Gaon is gently pulling you off his cock and checking to see if you’re okay and Junhan is running off to the bathroom for a wet washcloth.

You feel your combined releases start to drip down your legs and grimace while Gaon laughs at you and gives you a kiss on the nose.

After returning from the bathroom, Junhan wipes you up and invites you and Gaon to walk with him to the bedroom.

Gaon gives you a small pat on the butt before loudly asking, “So when are we doing this again?”

You and Junhan both laugh before you hear Dee loudly exclaim from your parents’ room, “IS IT SAFE TO COME OUT NOW?”

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Going back to our roots here what’s your brutally honest opinion about lucaya and joshaya if you’re up for some throwbacks

this message physically aged me 45 years 😭

lucaya- like, it was obviously planned from the beginning, but here's the thing: their dynamic was tired as hell. you see it in every piece of media ever. they were BORING. also I just genuinely almost never liked lucas lmfao. there were a handful of lines throughout 3 seasons that got a laugh out of me- and it was always when he was playing the idiot or confused part, if they had just let him be the wannabe eric of the show it could have been amazing. as for maya, I definitely wasn't as attached to her as I was riley, she just kinda got on my nerves a bit, but Dear God Did She Deserve Better. the triangle was drawn out WAY too long. by the end of it both girls should have left lucas in the dust. we see the 'official' triangle plotline start on new years eve, and end in late september/early october. in no world should it have taken him that long, ESPECIALLY when he knew what a strain it was putting on the girls relationship. if he really cared he would have stepped back, like, literally, it is very very possible to have feelings for someone and not date them, oh my God. farkle had the girls fighting over him ONE time and was like 'hey no I love you guys too much to see you upset'. lucas friar you will always be hated<3

joshaya- I need to get this out of the way because I saw it so much: maya was not trying to date josh when she snuck into the college party. the college girls were not telling josh to date maya. one of josh's friends hits on maya and riley and maya said We Are In Eighth Grade. she's not delusional. the whole episode was how she wanted josh to stop ignoring her. there's subtext ladies!!! cory and topanga were practically raising maya since she was 5. even if it's not addressed too well on screen, you have to be aware that maya and josh have known each other practically their whole lives. considering how close josh is with cory, riley, and auggie, that tells us he saw the family on a regular basis growing up (he literally left his parents and took a train at like 4 in the morning just so cory could open his college letter with him). so josh and maya were likely good friends as children! what we see with his introduction to the show is he starts treating her more as a kid, as his niece's friend, and thinks her feelings are silly and she says No. I need you to take me seriously here. I don't want our friendship to change just because you're in college now. my feelings are not stupid and I want you to respect me. (also. side note. they never said josh's age in the show right?? because for him to start college when he did would make him older than he should have been based on the boy meets world timeline...like, I was kinda working under the assumption he skipped a grade or two in high school but everyone else was like Known Grown Man And Pedophile Josh Matthews Asked A Toddler To Go To The Movies As Friends lmfao). anyway. she asks him to respect her and he does!!! genuine shock and awe! lucas friar found dead in a ditch! lmao. their vague 'let's see how we feel in a few years' talk reminded me a lot of the cory/topanga yearbook quote scene, and they had great chemistry! it didn't feel like something I've seen a thousand times before. it's not like they promised to swear off dating and wait for her 18th birthday, she was basically dating zay by the end of the show. they just said 'we've known each other for a while, there's definitely something between us but this isn't the right time for us to explore it, so let's be friends like we used to' (see: what lucas should have done during the triangle). josh had a tiny bit of an edge to him, but with the dorky matthews heart, which tbh was exactly what maya wanted. I loved how maya acted around josh, it lead to some of her funniest and most open moments in the show. I loved how gentle josh was with her even when she was being annoying. I love a good childhood crush to actual lovers story! sue me! lmao I think if the show had gotten as many seasons as boy meets world they really could have been something special

[thespianinthebackcorner]

okay so Hazbin season 1 just ended (spoiler alert) and by GOD that was an ending. I love it. I was panicking so bad after Alastor just disappeared halfway through the battle and then afterwards the only ones who seemed to notice were the Vees (of course they did. I see you Vox) but he came back later anyway. More spoilers and theories under the cut

BUT! He came back eventually, he's not dead. That scene in the studio was... A lot. I love it, it perfectly sets up next season- Alastor is clearly going to be the star of the show. Husker was right, he is bound to someone, and he's clearly not happy about it. actually he's just going through it as a whole, clearly there's more on his mind than the battle. He's on his last nerve, and one thing I noticed was that throughout episodes 7 and 8- and, now that I think about it, the whole season- there's a couple hints towards Alastor repressing his true feelings, and that the consequences are starting to come back to bite him. It's even outright implied through his conversation with Charlie- he himself says that just because he's smiling it doesn't mean anything about what he's actually feeling underneath. Much like Alastor I also enjoy seeing characters cry and lose their hold, and I think next season will be that moment for him.

Kay I need to reorganise this post. Bullet point time, ATAR style

Season 1:

hints all over the shop that Alastor is repressing his feelings and it's going to come back

Confirmation with the scene at the end of Episode 8 that Alastor is indeed bound to someone and those binds are incredibly tight, he can't get out easily

According to him, said deal restricts his actions to an extent, enough that he's starting to feel suffocated

I know Dad Beat Dad was a joke for him, but from the way he protected the hotel I think he's also starting to realise how much he actually does care about Charlie in his own way.

Compared to the beginning of the series, Alastor is getting pushed closer to the edge more often. He's getting more annoyed and losing his composure, the amount of swearing he was doing in that last fight with Adam Asshole Supreme shows that just fine- not to mention his reaction to Husker's confrontation and his clear annoyance and even jealousy of Lucifer throughout Dad Beat Dad.

Enough hints that he's being controlled by Lilith for the fandom to notice at large

Lilith being hinted to return to Hell in Season Two

Not stated in the actual show but Alastor speaks with a Transatlantic accent, which is a fake accent created by tv and radio presenters of his time. What we hear isn't his actual voice, unless being in Hell also changes your voice, which considering Vaggie didn't change after coming down and Pentious didn't change after going up doesn't seem to be the case

Predictions for Season Two:

Alastor's clearly had enough of his restraints, I think he's going to find a way out of it

Lilith is not going to be happy with him for that, I get the feeling he's also already done something she's not going to like

Lilith Is Going To Bitch Slap Alastor (this is inevitable and I am looking forward to it)

Considering sound is Alastor's greatest asset and what he does, i think at some point it's going to be taken away from him- either through inability to speak or inability to hear, or both

This would also mean he'd need to resort to visuals for communication, which will likely be a struggle- I don't think Alastor is the type to learn sign language, he's a radio presenter, so he's going to have to learn it somehow. I'm not actually sure if anyone else at the hotel does but Husker might (he seems like he would, just for kicks). Or they might come up with some other way to communicate

If I'm right then he'll also have to properly learn to lean on the others instead of stepping away like he usually does

At some point that smile and that accent are going to drop. And it will be a MOMENT.

Season Two will be based on a villain, yes, but this show is all about redemption and while Alastor clearly doesn't want to try that in the traditional sense, I think the next season is definitely going to be redemption for him in a different sense- less redemption, more healing.

The other patrons of the hotel are definitely attached to him now, Lilith better watch her back.

Side note, Pentious better come back and get his girl he's not leaving like that

Maybe I should turn this into a fanfic

Maybe it's copium but to me next season will be ALL about Alastor and how he fits in with the show itself. And I am so ready for it. That boy is going to cry whether he likes it or not.

[feral-girl-fall]

Knife's Edge

Contains major spoilers for the end of Fourth Wing, be warned!

Summary: Missing scene of the battle to save Violet's life after she's gravely wounded. Heavy angst and family feels from the POV of our favorite rebel mender.

Pairing: Violet Sorrengail/Xaden Riorson

Warnings: Angst, SPOILERS, swearing, blood __________________________________________________________

Of course the day had started out quiet. They always do, the days that turn out in the end to be the worst days of your life. The patrols had been quiet for once, with no recent attacks on the border, and the tension amongst the council was lower than it had been for ages. The prickle of unease that seemed to live in my gut these days, however, was particularly active. Like the hair standing up on the back of your neck when you feel someone watching you, or the way you can feel the change in the air before a storm. It was like some part of me knew that the new life I’d been building was about to be upended.

And then it – and a full riot of dragons – came crashing down around us. I’d had precious few moments of warning from one of the lookouts before the riot was upon us. Xaden had crash-landed into Aretia more than a few times, so it wasn’t the sight of him and Sgaeyl – or even the sight of what looked to be a limp rider in his arms – that made my heart stop. It wasn’t the first time Riorson brought me a gravely wounded rider, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

What made my blood turn to ice was the sight of Naolin’s, now my sister’s, dragon. Riderless.

The realization has me breaking into a sprint, the only thought in my mind a screaming echo of no, no, no. My world narrows to a point. I hope against hope, against logic, that there’s some other explanation, but the rising nausea in my gut tells me all I need to know.

Xaden practically tumbles down off of Sgaeyl, his usual grace forgotten in his desperation. I reach him in a few strides and find my worst fears confirmed. Violet hangs limply in his arms, pale as anything and looking…. I reach out, pushing her hair aside as I search for her pulse. My own heart pounds in my ears as I focus, blocking out everything until I feel the faint beats underneath my fingertips.

“What happened? I could be whispering or yelling, I can’t tell over the sound of ringing in my ears.

“A venin with a poisoned blade stabbed her.” Xaden’s voice is rough with fear.

She was supposed to be safe. All I can think from the moment I tear Violet’s body from Xaden, throughout my sprint to the healing chambers, is that she was supposed to be safe. Everything I – we – sacrificed, and keep sacrificing day after day, is so that our loved ones can one day be safe. I try to tamp down the rising panic sending my heart rate through the roof and making my hands unsteady. It’s not the first time I’m mended Violet, not by far. It’s also not the first time I’ve mended someone on death’s door. But I’d prayed to all the gods I wasn’t even sure I believed in that I’d never been in this scenario with her.

The panic is an albatross, crushing my chest as I fight to regain my control. Even with Violet, I’ve never had an issue with keeping my cool while mending. But now, as I swear I can feel her life slipping through my fingers, it’s a race against both time and my own terror to save her.

“It’s okay, Vi. I’ve got you, I’m here. It’s going to be okay.” I don’t even know when I started talking, but it forces me to steady my breathing enough to focus on saving my sister’s life. She’s never needed my reassurance, not with the pain she grits her teeth and bears every day of her life, but it’s never stopped me giving it. I try to stop my mind from thinking about how I also want her to hear my voice again, just in case. I’m snapped out of my reverie by the door to the chambers shutting as Xaden comes in behind me, pale as a ghost.

“How long has she been out?” I toss over my shoulder at him as I work to expose the gruesome wound sapping the life from my sister. It’s a deep laceration, oozing black, tainted blood. Fuck.

“Hours,” Xaden manages, voice shaking. “Her pulse has been fading for the last hour or so.”

If I’m not mistaken, it’s slowed even from the time I first took in minutes ago. I bite back a curse as I realize the extent of the damage. “Her blood,” Xaden whispers, unnecessarily. I fight to keep from recoiling as I take full stock of the blackened blood oozing from her wound.

“Hold on, Violet,” I murmur down at my sister. “Just keep fighting. I’ll do the rest.” I see her brow furrow slightly in pain, and my heart clenches. As much as I wish she could hear my reassurance, to know that I’m here, the thought of her being able to feel this pain in the depths of her unconsciousness is too much to bear. “Just breathe, Vi. Just breathe,” I remind her, just in case she can hear me. I send up a quick prayer that she truly can’t feel anything right now, that she isn’t in the hell I’m sure she is. Tears prick at my eyes, emotion threatening to overflow. For all the times I’ve wished I could see her again, gods, not like this. I take a few steadying breaths to even out my panicked breathing, and ground myself in my power. A rush of warm, reassuring energy rises under my skin. The second I start drawing away the poison from her bloodstream, I feel it. Heavy, sickening, toxic waves wash over me as I leech the poison away as quickly as I can. Whatever the venin had access to, it's stronger - and deadlier - than most poisons I'm familiar with.

Time passing is marked only by heartbeats and breaths – mine strained, Xaden’s panicked, Violet’s shallow. I can feel myself growing weaker as her blood starts to become progressively redder, and the familiar mending energy erupts into a screaming, burning pain. I fight back the nausea and the scream on my lips as I realize how close I am to burning out, and how close Violet is to leaving this world. My entire being vibrates with barely constrained energy, fighting to bring my sister back from the edge. She’s on the brink of death, and I don’t know if either of us will make it through this.

“Brennan-“ Xaden must sense it too, but there’s nothing to be said, nothing to be done but to keep going. I finally draw out the last of the poison and stumble back on my heels as my vision tunnels. Xaden puts a hand on my arm, thought whether it’s to steady me or him I couldn’t say. I take another deep breath, trying to control the overflowing power but feeling it whip wildly through me. Sweating, shaking, I manage to wrest back enough control to messily close the gaping wound in Violet’s side a heartbeat before I stumble backwards, collapsing as Xaden lunges to catch me.

“I’m fine,” I manage, tears choking my voice despite my best efforts. I’m not, but it doesn’t matter. The room spins around me even as Xaden helps lower me to the ground. The darkness takes hold before I even make it there.

[yoonzinuhh]

IF you leave me — soonyoung

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 : y/n x soonyoung

𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 : angst

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 : nothing lol

𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 : this is purely fiction. i tried my best to relate certain scenes from the lyrics of IF you leave me. hopefully it turned out decent. reblogs would be really appreciated hehe <3.

the time,my world,they may move on again

you feel your world stuck. the moment you meet his eyes again,after 4months,when you finally thought you were over this,you world was stuck again. at 8pm in your local convenience store.

the last time it was stuck was that night when you both screamed your lungs out,hugging each other tight,tears flowing on each other when you both decided to part ways. you wanted this to end on good terms but words were thrown at each other like sharp edged knives without knowing it could leave deeper scars on both of you.

you both knew the love was falling apart. efforts were lessened,you barely saw each other inspite of living together,priorities were changed. you love was definitely falling apart because if it was still the same atleast one of you would’ve tried to change yourself for the other,right ?

the first time you met soonyoung was at a career guidance program during your first year of college. the bright guy,who couldn’t keep his eyes off you or his feet on ground for a moment. the guy who you knew you will fall for.

“soonyoung! and you ?”

“y/n..y/f/n” you gave your hand returning a smile

from strangers to friends to lovers to strangers again. trope sounded good but your heart was ripping apart.

i’ll stay by your side throughout the endless times

he said while staring at you with full of love. during the night you both moved in together,standing in the balcony watching the streets with lights. you swear your world stuck. stuck in his eyes.

he slowly leaned down. his soft lips moving onto yours while his hands were holding yours. you both were so in love,life was good,when you were his. when he was yours.

in the distant future…no,i just don’t want to think about it

the first time you both had a serious fight. well it was childish,you thought. you both started your internship. you tried your best to give your time to work as well as him,so did he. but god it was hard when you see your efforts being little too much than the other’s. but it ended up with cuddles,apologies,forehead kisses and a date plan. ofcourse you can’t leave him. you can’t even think about leaving him. things were back to normal. you both started making time for each other. fridays movie nights were always there. but how long could it last,when you know it was forced?

my heart,which was broken

you could physically feel your heart break. “you’re..you’re just making this harder for me y/n..just leave me alone”

10-8 work was just so hard for both of you. you planned a surprise date for your fiancé,soonyoung. you knew he was stressed and you just wanted him to feel better but in return he broke your heart,into pieces.

“fine..” that’s all you could gather up to say. you wanted to tell him to fuck off but how could you ?

[back to present]

you both just stare. stare until he comes forward. your heart beats fast,fast and faster. just the way it did when he said his first i love you.

he looked the same as you. puffy tired eyes that was probably from crying every night. he looks skinnier too. same as you,again.

“y/n..how are you doing” pathetic.terrible.sick.

if you were to describe how you really felt. there’s it.

you just nod,looking at the ground feeling tears prick out. you can’t just cry infront of him. you can’t let him know he still affects you. that would affect your ego. but he holds so much power over you,your first and only love after all.

“i-i have to leave..it’s late” you rush past him.

“y/n..Y/N ! p-please..wait..” he caught your cold trembling hand making you pause for him. again.

“i’m sorry..”

thats all you said before forcefully detach your hands from him.

you wanted him but this won’t be the same. you were mad. you were mad that he wasted 6 years of your love life,mad that he didn’t think of your heart,mad that he made you feel this way,mad that he did’t even fight for this,for you,mad that he isn’t the same. so weren’t you.

[siremasterlawrence]

You Owe Me

Detective Andrew Ray Mulligan is awoken at the bedside when his cell phone ringing and vibrating loudly forcing him to answer the call. He stares at the screen unhappily to see his boss and he is told to come to a crime scene his anger rages loudly in the high of the moment.

He angrily gets up trudging to his shower he turns on the bath the time flies by as he is lathering up throughout his body the suds grow. He returns to his room shifting to and through his closet he gets his uniforms from a hanger getting dressed he grabs his keys leaving.

Slamming the door he walks in to the car in a huff he sits in the driver seat, placing his hands on the panel he slid down and the keys in the ignition, and swipes the keys as the engine revs on. He drives off to a wooden secluded area for from his home hitting the side road.

Nearing the edge of the city the cop car is lit brightly racing through the area the cabin is blown up for all to see, he exhaustively is sighing dragging on come to a form he stop the car, and proceeds to exit his feet hit the ground. The door closes a bit laying on the car door.

He is not to exciting for the scene unfolding before him showcasing everything with the more and more cops flooding the area a bit of it. They root through the trash, car, home and more he stood not to knowledgeable about the situation and another guy came to him.

Andrew time is sped up in the movement of it all landing in between the tape ropes he lift it upward he slid under it crossing past the lawn he see a strange light in his face it roams the chain. He snuck in passing his chief officer checking the compound front to back.

“FREEZE” he shouts hands on his gun as he opens the door, pulling out his gun steadily not startling him, the man raises his hands in smarmy way, the cop searches pushing him to the wall slamming him down and he patting him down and feeling him up he has no idea.

“Who are you punk? Answer me? Don’t you dare move on me? What the fuck?” He yells finding an odd object in his right pocket it is glowing surrounding the encasing of his own room. The man bends his hands behind his back using his hand cuffs to tightening it on him.

“You are under arrest….uuuuuhhhh….what are you…doing jerk….bastard…stop flashing it…you will be taken in….” Andrew states in a shock the young man kicks him in the shin as he pushes back.

“You thought I would let you take me in.”

“Yyyyeeesss! Arrogant prick”

“Men like you suck”

“I am not in the mood to hear your”

“SHUT UP!”

“I will own you soon enough”

“Why can’t I move?”

“Let me go”

“Remove my handcuff”

“Throw them to the side”

“Kiss me”

“Make it work”

“Stare deep in to my eyes “

“Surrender to the void”

“You can’t fight”

“You can’t resist me”

“You love me”

“Live for me “

“I feel like I know you”

“You don’t “

“I don’t”

“Swear your allegiance to me”

“I swear”

“To serve”

“You can’t win”

“I am your God”

“My God!”

“Succumbing all to me”

“I am slipping “

“Take ownership of me”

“You racist piece of shit”

“Yeah babe!”

“I slapped you”

“You need me”

“Why can’t you see that “

“Kiss me, embrace me and do as I say “

“I can’t…must…have too”

“B-u-t”

“What?”

“Stop fighting me”

“You are not in charge “

“Report”

“Yyyyeeesssss”

“We can do this all night”

“Report detective”

“You hate me”

“Don’t you?”

“Yes”

“Fuck you”

“I am so awful right “

“You are ugly mess”

“SMASH”

“Oooowww”

“Bitch”

The end

[ang-paborito]

Friends, Faith and Fashion (Trifecta of a teenage dilemma)

... Or at least mine. So let's break this down in three how these has affected me throughout teenage life.

This is going to be short.

Friends

I've always wanted to have friends and looking back, I do desperate measures to have friends. Desperate, stupid measures. The problem now I realized, I'm not very likeable. It takes layers to take off before people realize that I can be a friend. You know how in schools, there are cliques? Not in the Philippines. The cliques are according to level of likeliness. I'm too dumb to have smart friends, too ugly too uncool.

I'm boring even around the most boring people. What's funny is that I was friends with people who are quite questionable. I grew up in a generation where the youth is at an edge--every parents' nightmare. Teenage pregnancy, gangs, and hazing.

But the people I was friends with no matter how hard they smoke, drink or swear-- they wouldn't pull shit on me. I think it's because they are afraid of my mom. I have a friend who emulates Avril Lavigne a lot. Tough in the 4th year classes but will fold when she sees my mother. I think it's because my mother has no filter and she knows everyone's mother. She has no real power but she makes everyone thinks she has.

Faith

In the family, we don't care about religion. My parents do not force that on us that's why we are a collection of theists or atheists. I begged my parents that I be baptised as a catholic because --aesthetic wise.

I know I have mentioned this to you a lot but I lost my faith first before my virginity in high school. It was 2008, and I transferred to a new Opus Dei school in Alicia. And let me describe to you what a sleepy town Alicia is-- it's super undeveloped, No Jollibee, less street lights. I thought La Trinidad is already a province but no. So anyway just 20 kilometers from our farm house, a boy close to my age was gunned down while riding a bike at night just to buy a mobile load. We don't know the full story.

So by 6, after having dinner outside, time to go inside and sleep.

One Friday night, I overstayed at my aunt. It was quite far from the house. By the way, our farm house is just facing a cemetery, 1 kilometer away.

I said goodbye to my aunt and cousins then my aunt lent me her son's bicycle and a flashlight. I rode home but shit, my flashlight is dying on me. And around me are just paddies and wind. I kept going while my flashlight is dying on me so I turned on my phone flashlight but it is too weak.

I was deathly afraid that I will be the next kid on the bike to die. I prayed to God to let me go home.

When I was going, I had this sort of calling--but it was opposite as the one Dominic described it to me when he decided he will become a priest. Dominic described it as something godly, warm and fuzzy.

I remember at that time, it was not that way. Not devilish though but it was as if the wind passed through the padd fields-- do you know in those anime scenes where there is a premonition that the main character is just all alone? So it was an indication for me that I am all alone in the dark, left to fend for myself. That there is no God. It was a very strong feeling. I've long to find it. I dropped out of that school a year later because I was just met with confusion.

[phantomrose96]

Hello sorry to barge in with the word vomit/ramble, just wanted to let you know that god. Oh my god. You dont know how many things you’ve uncovered in me.

I started reading like, yesterday afternoon due to an animation for this fic, dreading over the word-count. I thought I could just read a little to catch a grasp of the fic, then put it to the side when my interest dies, and then 12 hours of reading happened and now I’m sitting awake at 1 AM wondering what the fuck happened to my emotions.

Cause?? I just?? Adored it so much?? The writing is such an experience to read, you just nail every single detail that just immerses me into the current scene or event. The amount of details picked and imbedded are just enough to fully paint a picture while also not overwhelming me with information. It was a Joy to read, and shone whenever a revaluation and/or breakdown happens to a character (no plural, we know all know which one). The tension parts always shakes me over with anxiety (like the teru v ritsu 2, one of my favorites), the tiny and wholesome moments are so well described too?? You know what’s happening and you know your heart it not coming out unscathed but nope, you sit there and take the pain as now the characters are allowed a sense of comfort and you realize how much they needed it after watching their lives turn into a slow motion titanic scene.

AND THE CHARACTERS, the characterization is immaculate I swear. Its so different from what I’m used to in the best ways plus more. I love how mob is just a confused kid trying his best and reigen is just Some Guy who managed to completely tear down (or breach-) the emotional walls of every Kageyama kid in sight and just?? Let them know he’s there for them?? Let them be kids?? His interactions with Ritsu is so tragic cause Reigen will just not let go of the fact that Ritsu is fucking thirteen and does not need this much stress condensed in him (god bless burger scene, also a favorite). And Ritsu. He is so insane it makes me want to blow up a house (positive connotation). The dude is just a walking car wreck that is slowly parking at the edge of a cliff. Just the way he snaps in the most unhinged and self destructive ways makes me want to set him down in a pile of blankets, because child you are not leaving until you book a therapist appointment. Teru makes him 10x worst its comical, they just hate each other, barfs at eachothers presence but also they’d entrust their lives to the other’s no problem, what are worst enemies with slight fond attachments are for (Ritsu realizing he was manipulating Teru all along, naturally? A well aimed strike that rattled my core, incredible). Ritsu’s journey throughout the fic has been a sight to witness, from him being a emotionally stunted mess to an emotionally stunted, but now slightly considerate, mess. Character development.

This story has been an absolute delight to finish, and my thoughts will still run wild for about a week. I cannot thank you enough for writing this and sharing this to the world of ao3.

(ABoT)

fbjhfbj eating this review eating this eating this

I'm!!!! Okay to approach this in pieces.

>breakdown happens to a character (no plural, we all know which one)

we all know which one....

I'm just saying this could still be about literally ANY character named Ritsu in this story.

Also yes!!! Another Ritsu vs Teru v2 enjoyer!! I was so goddamn excited getting to that part of the story. The role inversion between Ritsu and Teru. The weight of Ritsu making this a spirit possession battle against Teru of all people, and that being why Ritsu is able to hold his own against Teru who is so much stronger than him.

And absolutely ABoT is all about the small wholesome moments, cuz each and every one of those are wrestled in tatters out of the jaw of tragedy and misery which, to me, makes them extra special. The absolute fighting tooth and nail for happiness and betterment.

>reigen is just Some Guy who managed to completely tear down (or breach-) the emotional walls of every Kageyama kid in sight and just?? Let them know he’s there for them?? Let them be kids??

yep yep yep the double-meaning of "Breach" in the title. Breach trust. Breach the barrier. The role of lies and the role of trust in that very core element of Mob's barrier.

And I really adored writing all the Ritsu and Reigen interactions because they are. just. the worst for each other. But also Reigen is who Ritsu needs. And that hard fight to save Ritsu happens in the form of screaming matches that destroy a McDonalds and the massive decimation of innocent Build-A-Bears. The burger scene is. SO near and dear to my heart.

>And Ritsu. He is so insane it makes me want to blow up a house (positive connotation).

Ritsu "Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you wanna just go apeshit?" Kageyama. I love writing him as a foil against the Reigen and Mob plotline. Because both Reigen and Mob have been hurt, and their reponses are much more focused on how to heal themselves. Ritsu's been hurt (and Teru, too) and their responses are to lash out and hurt everything back. ABoT runs the whole spectrum of catharthis for just "You've been badly wronged. Wouldn't you just like to [heal] [have someone who cares] [seek revenge and destroy the world which destroyed you]?"

>(Ritsu realizing he was manipulating Teru all along, naturally? A well aimed strike that rattled my core, incredible)

I deeply loved writing the Teru and Ritsu plotline just every step of the way. And the hardest part was writing all the build up knowing the role-reversal was coming without tipping my hand--the part where Ritsu would surpass Teru in awfulness, where it would become Teru desperately clinging to morals and trying his hardest to stop Ritsu. And this all starts with the pivot in ch31 as Ritsu realizes he IS in a position to take advantage of Teru... because Teru sees him as a friend.

fkjfdnkjfddf thank you for this review! I'm eating it I'm eating it. You're talking about so many of the things that make me feral for this story and why I wrote it in the first place. It's the trauma it's the healing it's the character development it's the character regression it's the beating your bestie to death on a soccer field it's the taking a traumatized kid to get ramen it's the mindless destruction of a Build-A-Bear Workshop it's the manipulation it's the trying to do better it's the idea that self-sacrifice doesn't actually save the people around you who need you it's the different ways tragedy affects people it's the lighting a corpse on fire then slashing your own throat it's the adopting a kitten named Socks it's the corruption it's the possession it's the cursed Jade Statue that just follows you everywhere for no reason

[4dtk]

hi i would love to if you could write a story with jaehyun where he gives y/n a massage and then fucks y/n

long. enjoy, 1.8k baby. dont think i'll give this one a name either LOL

warnings: fingering, doggy, reverse cowgirl, breeding kink

NSFW UNDER THE CUT, MINORS DNI!

“hey. how was work?” you were often the culprit of jaehyun’s questions when your foot first lands in your apartment, toeing off your shoes with ease as he welcomes you with a peck to your cheek. he holds your waist loosely while you massage your ankles and toes, glad for a breath of fresh air even if they were hidden behind socks.

jaehyun drags you into the living room before you can speak, manspreading like he’s done it a hundred time before and pats his thighs. it makes you smile and raise an eyebrow. settling in front of him felt good, although he yanks you back onto his chest a little enthusiastically than usual that you let out a squeal. you just pass it off that he’s happy to see you after a day of doing nothing.

in a way, he has done it a hundred times. it was routine at this point, where you’d just sit against his back and lay against him, sometimes tilting your head back to admire his side profile. you’d talk about co-workers, your lunch, your overbearing tasks, all while jaehyun gently massages your sides with alternating hands, always sure to apply a fair amount of pressure to ease out your nerves.

he laughs into your neck at your reaction, but other than that, he remains quiet as you start on your rant, gesturing widely to this one annoying colleague that’s been getting on your nerves for the past few weeks. always talking over you for the tasks assigned to you, dropping badly-timed statements that definitely could be defined as a backhanded compliment; you could go on and on about the co-worker that you don’t notice jaehyun’s hands retreating from your waist to push you away from his body, travelling up your back instead.

they slowly feel up your back like an experienced masseuse, testing the waters with his thumb in a particularly deep dig in between your shoulder blades. it makes you gasp, the rant about how the same co-worker had accidentally interrupted by your sound of surprise. it’s the exhale of breath, however, that resembled something dangerously close to a whimper and you hope to god that jaehyun doesn’t hear it.

“you gotta relax for me, baby,” jaehyun grunts, continuing to sort out the kinks and aches in your back, no doubt brought about by your bad posture. at least if you were working from home, jaehyun would be able to provide you with hourly reminders to stretch out your back. ah, well, this would have to suffice.

jaehyun was talented with his hands, portraying his efficiency in relaxing the tension in your back with how intimately they moved from one area to another. another crack resonates throughout the room, making you moan out at the released tightness.

jaehyun loses his grip on sanity each time his knuckle, thumbs, fingers meet every inch of your back, eliciting countless other sounds that went south with how lewd they sounded. when you whimper again, he sighs with a little praise of good girl, breath tickling your ear lightly that it causes you to giggle. you’re at ease now, leaning back before he seemingly massages out the last ache in your back.

“you’re a bothersome little minx, aren’t you?” the other smirks against your neck, another giggle escaping your lips when you feel his hand prying your thighs apart. “well, thank fucking god you wore a skirt today.”

jaehyun’s smirk stretches into a grin when he feels how there’s a wet patch on your underwear from the suggestive session where you could feel his hardening erection against your bum. it played out like a bad sex scene from a movie, but you couldn’t complain when you were the stars of the show, able to feeling jaehyun’s fingers on your hips, on your thighs. he drags a finger to your centre painfully slow that you thrash gently against his hold, but it only makes him reinforce the secure arm he has around you. “patience, angel.”

“sorry, hun, but your massages are always so good. i still wonder why we didn’t do this earlier.”

“then… let’s change up our tradition a little, huh?” he purrs, panties already to the side before jaehyun slips a sneaky finger in. your hole sucks him in so easily that a groan is heard, possibly from the both of you. you’re not even sure any more, body overtaken by pleasure as he adds a second finger. you’re so wet that it’s no trouble for the man, who marvels over your shoulder at how good you’re taking his digits.

“haah… j-jae…” he chuckles against your shoulder, eyes never leaving how he’s pumping his fingers into you. they stretch you out so good and you can barely manage words, reduced to nothing but breathy moans and whines while he fucks you open. you mewl on a sudden hard thrust where his fingers are so deep that it’s up to his knuckle. he laughs again.

“you’re doing so good, baby,” jaehyun murmurs, “but i don’t think i can hold it in any longer.” the emptiness you feel when he removes his fingers was criminal, but you can’t complain when you’d be getting his cock in a second or two, already eyeing the bulge that showed itself through his sweatpants. your mouth drops open when he pulls it down in one swift pull, not so much for his length but more of the fact that he wasn’t wearing any underwear.

“of course you aren’t wearing boxers. you’ve been planning this, haven’t you?”

“caught red-handed. a smart one, aren’t you?” jaehyun speaks through pants while he lubes up his cock with his pre-cum, boring holes into your eyes with his with a lazy smirk. he doesn’t miss the way you’re rubbing circles onto your neglected cunt. “guess i’d just have to fuck the smart out of you.”

he uses his strength to turn you over, smushing your face into the cushions below you before he eases himself into you, groaning at how fast you clench around him. jaehyun can forgive you for that, since he’s left you on edge with a gaping hole that showed how good his fingers could stretch you out. he reaches a hand over to push your hand from your clit gently while he lets you get used to his thick length resting into you and he swears he feels you clench again when his fingers play with your bundle of nerves.

“let me take care of you tonight. leave it to me.” jaehyun snaps his hips against your ass, propelling you forward just a little from the force. it draws out a slurred moan, even more when he starts his assault on your pussy, sliding in and out of you deliciously.

“mmhm uh- uh- jaeee…!” the fabric below you is stained with your drool.

jaehyun’s already sure you’d get a noise complaint filed against you tomorrow morning, but he can’t care much when the sounds falling from your lips are his favourite song, while his name is like a prayer that you recite every night. tonight just so happened to be the first, with many more sessions involving your begging for him to fuck you harder, faster, deeper. you’re so fucking desperate for his cock when you push back onto him, meeting his thrusts with your own rhythm while the cushions soak up your moans.

eyeing the tv for a second, the male has never felt so glad that he’s set the screensaver to be a boring black screen. it mimics a mirror with the exception of a few blurred visuals due to the semi-matte protector you opted for. “w-wha? jae-“ in a second, jaehyun hauls you up to rest against his chest again, the friction of your shirts uncomfortable from the sweat that manages to seep through. none of you pay much attention, rather to the black screen in front of you that shows how pliant you are for jaehyun.

thighs wide open, while your greedy cunt takes in every inch of jaehyun. it makes him cum right then and there but he holds himself bask the best that he can. “look at you, pretty girl. split open by my fat cock, whining like a good little girl.” the words drives heat up your body like electricity and your body can’t deny itself any longer, grinding down on the length that’s buried deep in you; the sight in front of you only turns you on more. jaehyun is true to his word like a gentleman, driving his dick deep into you instead of making you do the work and soon, he settles into a comfortable pace.

“j-jaehyuuun… shit..” your head finds home on his shoulders, thrown back while his hips continue to piston into you endlessly, heeding your word when you ask him to pick up the pace. “yeah? feel good, darling?” your moans and his combine with the loud, pornographic sounds coming from in between your legs, cunt dripping with arousal with every pump of his pelvis. giddily, you nod at the question, hands tightly wrapped around his arms that were holding your legs open.

“look at the screen, pretty girl.” and you do, mewling in excitement when you witness a white ring of cum at the base of his cock. “should i cum in you? would you like that, hm?” you’re rendered speechless by he fills you up to the brim with his hard thrusts, pussy fluttering around him when you think of him filling you up in another way and you nod again like a dumb little bitch.

“yes- yes yes! fuck, cum in me.” with your confirmation, it unleashes something feral in jaehyun, delivering faster thrusts that you start crying out, reaching all the corners of the small apartment. it contributes to the heat growing in the pit of your stomach, “fill me up, p-please…!” jaehyun emits a deep groan when you say the words, snapping up into you until they get sloppier and messier, thighs tired from his constant movements.

“cumming, cumming, cumming!” you announce it, pussy clenching tight around his cock as you release your juices all over it. jaehyun follows quickly after, hips stuttering before pumping you full of his cum, spurting his seed deep into your womb. the feeling has you shaking, licking your lips in a thrill when the first drop of cum oozes out of you. littering small kisses down the length of your neck, he uses his finger to stuff it back into you. “shit… we can’t waste any of it, can we?” you roll your eyes, turning your head to the side to meet his lips with a smile, silently thanking him for the destress.

-

“fucking hell, seriously?” holding a piece of paper the next morning, you faintly make out the words through the morning vision. jaehyun looks over your shoulder and lets out a loud laugh, barely escaping your poorly aimed smacks as you figure out how to sort out the noise complaint. “your pussy was just too wet, waking up the whole building-“

“jaehyun!”

[zepskies]

I feel like I can finally take a breath. 😮‍💨

Ha! But not really, because I've got like, 2 more full one-shots with multiple parts planned in the BMD-verse. (They're pretty much already written though, so we're good lmfao.) 🤣

And yes, trouble in paradise indeed! Things could never be easy with these two.

Living together is never easy to start with while you find your footing with each other however it really feels like Ben is taking the reader for granted.

I don't think he means to, but he literally doesn't know any other way to be just yet loll. It's been taking a lot of patience and nagging and cajoling on her part to get him to see reason on a lot of their domestic issues. 😂

Louisa definitely has valid reasons for believing her sister has Stockholm syndrome 😂 but the reader also makes valid points, she doesn’t know Ben. She hasn’t seen how he’s changed. He really needs to make more effort if this relationship is going to work.

Exactly! I also see both sides of the argument loll. An argument that's going to continue in the rest of Love Actually. 😏

Your Jeff Goldblum gif had me DYING. 🤣🤣 The perfect reaction.

I do agree that a lot of the time, actions speak louder than words and it is clear in some respects that he is showing her with actions (the apartment etc) but damn does he not understand that even if it’s just very occasional, you’ve got to hear the words.

Absolutely! Ben's relying on his actions to do the talking so he doesn't have to actually dig into his man feelings. But if he wants to continue this relationship, he's gonna have to put on his big boy pants and use his big boy words. 😂 He's being stubborn, and she's at the end of her rope.

I’m so glad the reader has Annie. I know they’re perhaps still a little wary but she’s there for her and even though it wasn’t needed I love that she was ready to go and kick his ass if he’d actually hurt the reader.

The reader needs solid friends in her life, and she has that in Yvette and Annie for sure. Annie's nothing if not a protector, and I think she would go above and beyond for her friends.

Yeah I had to include that little tidbit between Ben and Butcher loll. "You kinda saved my life but I don't like it." "Yeah, I'm not too keen on it either, pal." 😅

I get he’s protective of her but he is completely going the wrong way about this? Trying to make out she’s not capable? He needs to carefully think about his next moves right now 😂 he is skating on thin ice.

And about to sink like a MF'ing stone. 🥶 He's coming from a place of protectiveness, concern, and love, but he's not showing it very well. She's not giving him the time of day about it either.

I'm really glad you enjoyed how the tension built throughout the whole mission! I tried to make it gradual but still give those warning signs. Because of course, it wasn't going to go smoothly. 😂

But as soon as she got into that room I just knew sapphire was going to be there. I swear, how does the reader keep getting herself in these situations. She’s literally a magnet for trouble.

Ben's point exactly lmfao. He swears she's wearing a fucking beacon that says, "Here I am, Danger. Come get me, bitch."

The scene where she’s trying to escape had me on the edge of my seat as I honestly wasn’t sure how far you were going to go with it.

Honestly didn't either myself, at first. 🤣🤣 But THIS is hilarious (and possibly accurate):

Honest to god, that man [Ben] must have saved the reader more times than all the other peoples he’s saved put together 😂

LOL I felt for Ben when he's charging through the hall to find whoever fucked up. We all know it's out of anger, worry, protectiveness, even if he's being a bit much right now. To his credit, she really could've died because of that one mistake.

The argument they have in the hall was my second-favorite scene to write in this chapter! I love it when they bicker lmfao. I also love that the "grandpa" line was your favorite. 😂

For me it's this one: “You really wanna fucking get it, don’t you?”

Only because we all damn well know he ain't gonna do shit. 😂😂 He might raise his voice and be an asshole, but he's literally carrying her out in his arms. And she knows he's not going to do shit. As a result, she set phasers to "Sass." Without mercy.

But M.M.'s line pretty much sums it up!! loll

[About Ben wanting her out of the field and remaining in Surveillance]: He’s probably right in some respects but you just know he’s wanting to keep her out the danger.

Yeah, again there are valid points on both sides of the issue. She's human, vulnerable, and while she knows what she's doing, there's inherently more risk for her than there is for Ben. And yes, he's coming from a place of concern and love, but she's also right in that he can't control her. She's going to do what she needs to do, despite the risks.

[On the reader packing a bag]: Damn girl! Yes! It’s drastic but this has been going on for months. She needs to make it clear how she’s feeling and words aren’t getting through to him so use some action. I love how that has kind of been a running theme throughout the whole chapter.

Yes!! On her end, it's words vs. actions. On his end, it's actions vs. words. I literally just noticed that parallel! Thank you, lovely. 😂😘😘

““Because I fucking love you,” he said.” Halle-fucking-lujah!

Hell to the yeah. 😏😏

And it was important to me to get Ben's side of things as well, to explain why he was holding back and not telling her what he obviously feels. Unfortunately, it's also twined with his (valid) fears:

“But one day, I’m still going to fucking lose you,” he said, looking down on you. “Then I’ll be right back where I started.”

Side note: why am I not surprised dr baker has come out on the up 😒

Girl, me either. This bitch don't wanna go down. But it's actually on-brand for the U.S. government (think the German scientists they recruiting during/after WWII to play for the U.S.). But Dr. Baker will appear again in a future one-shot, Strong as Blood... I leave you to imagine in what capacity that might be. 😌🤐

Those following lines of Ben finally being completely, 100% honest about how he feels was so cathartic for me to write lol. Like fucking finally, right? 🤣

Aaaaand, then it immediately gets complicated again. Ben's much too excited about her lack of birth control.

Again I can just see his smirk, looking like a kid at Christmas. Of course this is what he wants despite only just admitting his feelings. I’m so glad the reader is a voice of reason but then of course he’s so damn sexy she just forgets herself. “And finally, with a broad, Cheshire-like grin.” Oh damn that man 😂🙈

Damn him to pieces. 🤣🤣 He really did finesse her without meaning to. (I think we can all forgive her.) LMFAO "super sperm" took me TF out. But don't worry, I'm coming back to this convo in future one-shots. "Soon, not someday." 😜

Ben can complain all he wants about having a 3-bedroom luxury apartment in the most affluent city in NY, but he knows he's where he's supposed to be. 😂 He feels at home because he has a home with the one he loves.

“You try the ever-living fuck out of my patience,” he said, “unlike anyone on the planet.”” Had me giggling so much.

Another one of my favorite lines to write for this chapter! loll It really seems to be the crux of their relationship (or at least, how it started), and yet, it's so much more than that. In fact, you said it perfectly here:

Despite the arguing they’re both so good for each other. They both have had fucked childhoods and lives and they need the other. They need someone who isn’t going to give up on them easily.

💯💯💯

They both have troubled pasts and emotional scars. And their relationship is healing to each other. 🥹

And as for this:

I’ve enjoyed the journey you’ve took these two on and I honestly can’t wait for the next parts you have coming up and honestly, kinda hope you choose to write more as I’m not ready to say goodbye to them.

Thank you so much!! 💓💓

I'm honestly not ready to say goodbye to them either. To me, this is just and ending "chapter" of their story.

There's more to be said and explored with them, and that's why I'm looking forward to what you guys think of the rest of Love Actually and Strong as Blood, when it comes out afterwards.

I think that'll put more of a pin on their story. But even then, I think I'll always be open to give more snapshots into their lives together, as long as people still want to read about them. (I even have a couple of BMD-verse requests in my inbox that I can dive into later.)

All that to say, thank you infinitely much, my friend!! Your feedback/encouragements are amazing and special to me! I can't wait to bring Part 2 of LA next week!! 💞💞

Soon, not someday. 😘

(And fair warning, Ben's gonna be a bit grumpy on the outset. lol)

Break Me Down - The Epilogue

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Female Reader

Summary: You’re a private investigator by trade, but now you happily sit at a desk — leading a surveillance team at Supe Affairs. After managing to end Homelander in New York, Soldier Boy escapes custody. You are recruited for the manhunt, joining Butcher’s team.

Truly, you joined the S.A. for the right reasons. But after you become his accidental hostage, Soldier Boy will break down every single one of them…

AN: This chapter is set about a month before "Love Actually." So...are you ready?

Song Inspo: For this last chapter, it’s “The Book of Love” by Peter Gabriel. (It’s just lovely. I listened to it while writing the second half of the epilogue!)

Word Count: 7,800 Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Violence and peril, angst, familiar bickering, smutty smut, bit of breeding kink, tender fluff, hurt/comfort, and an ending…

Epilogue: All My Living Time

“I’m not fucking around,” he said. “I want you to live with me.” 

Your smile was soft and bright when you took his hand. Ben wouldn’t admit it, but something in his chest stuttered to life then.

“Okay,” you said with a nod. “Let’s do it.”

Six months later…

You were frustrated with your roommate.

And yes, you used the word roommate, because he hadn’t seen fit to give it any other label.

You stewed in your irritation as you also stirred the beginnings of chicken tortilla soup. It was early in the morning before work, and Yvette had been teaching you how to master the crockpot. Hopefully, by the time you and Ben got home tonight, it would be ready and waiting for dinner.

Six months. You had to nag him about cabinets left open, dirty boots left right in front of the door to your shared apartment, and hell, actually going to his therapy sessions.

While that last one had taken months of convincing and cajoling, he’d caved when you suggested that acknowledging and dealing with what happened to him in Russia might help him control the nuclear power inside him. And maybe, just maybe, they wouldn’t have to patch another hole in the ceiling.

Mind you, he wouldn’t actually talk to said therapist about anything related to his PTSD. But at least he was going. And the therapist was apparently getting an earful of Ben’s celebrity encounters, with all the explicit, gushy details.

However, even with all of this, it also sometimes felt like you were an in-house maid rather than a partner.

The latest reason for your frustration returned to you when Ben strolled into the kitchen in search of coffee. He wasn’t yet dressed for work in his supe suit; instead, still in the plain shirt and sweatpants he’d slept in.

He glanced at you, and seeming to sense your mood, he kept to himself as he found his usual mug and poured a cup of steaming French press in silence.

You took in a breath, trying to calm yourself. Maybe he’d had time to sleep on it. You closed the crockpot and went over to him. Your hand on his arm made him pause.

“Hey,” you said, “have you thought about what I asked you last night?”

Ben’s expression remained flat. “I think I already said my piece on that.”

You sighed.

“Why is dinner with my family such a hard thing for you?” you asked. Your brows furrowed. “My sister’s starting to warm up to you! And Mom just wants to get to know you. What’s the problem?”

Ben scoffed. “Your sister fucking hates me.”

You bit your lip. He wasn’t totally wrong, but in fairness, Louisa wasn’t happy to learn about why you’d nearly died in the hospital, when Vought Tower collapsed.

She thought you needed therapy for an egregious case of Stockholm Syndrome. But the more Ben worked with Supe Affairs, helping to clear the streets of out-of-control supes and cleaning up the remains of Vought, you were slowly getting Louisa to come around.

“She just needs time to get to know you too,” you said.

Ben wasn’t having it though. He rolled his eyes and tried to walk away from you with his coffee and a newspaper—aiming to get to his favorite lounge chair in the living room. It was the way he always started his morning, like the old man he was.

You followed him.

“Come on, one dinner won’t kill you,” you said. “And by the way, neither would moving your dirty-ass boots out of the doorway.”

You went over to grab said boots, and in your annoyance, you all but tossed them into the hall. Ben frowned at you, throwing down the newspaper onto the coffee table.

“Why’re you nagging me like a goddamn wife?” he snapped.

“Wife?” you scoffed, crossing your arms. “You don’t even call me your girlfriend.”

But God forbid another man even smile in your direction. Ben was possessive, protective, and claimed with all but words that you were his. And yet, he wouldn’t say it.

You shouldn’t have been surprised that he was afraid of commitment, but you’d been living together for six damn months. Almost seven, if you counted the safe house.

When you found this nice, but cozy apartment in Scarsdale, you’d sat him down at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, like the two of you used to in that house in Medellin.

And you established the ground rules before you two officially moved in together: 

First, an exclusive relationship meant exclusive. Meaning no fucking around. (He’d raised a brow at you.)

Second, you were his partner, not his slave. You expected him to carry his hefty weight, not only in the relationship, but around the house. (He’d most definitely rolled his eyes at that.)

And finally, don’t be an asshole, you’d decreed. “Be honest when you’re not feeling right about something. But don’t be a dick about it.” 

That cut both ways, of course, just like the other two rules. He’d agreed to all of these, albeit begrudgingly. You hadn’t really known then if he meant it.

And now, looking at him, you still had no idea if he was trying, or if he was just tired of being alone…and if you were just a convenient bedwarmer. You bit your lip once again, this time with a growing fear blooming anxiety in your chest.

“Do you even love me?” you asked.

Ben blinked down at you, and his lips pulled into a deep frown.

“Stop fucking around,” he said.

“I’m serious,” you insisted. Your crossed arms tightened, as if to protect yourself from what he might say. “You’ve never said it once.”

“And the fact that I agreed to live in this mediocre fucking apartment doesn’t mean anything?” he said, gesturing around him with a hand. “I take you out, I buy you shit. Matter of fact, I fucking spoil you.”

“And you take off whenever you feel like it, especially after missions,” you shot back. “Sometimes I don’t know where the hell you’ve gone for hours. For all I know, you’re out there doing blow with a caravan of strippers!”

While that did sound like a damn good time, that hadn’t been Ben’s M.O. in recent months. And in his mind, you should’ve known better.

“I haven’t fucked anyone but you since we moved in here,” he snapped.

Even longer than that, if he was honest. 

Meanwhile, you wanted to trust his words, desperately, but you just didn’t know if you could. 

“Even if I believe you, what’s the problem here?” you asked. Your gaze fell from his as you worried your bottom lip. “Am I doing something wrong?”

You didn’t see the way Ben’s brows knitted together, his eyes softening a bit.

“Other than annoying the hell out of me right now, no,” he replied. 

“Okay,” you nodded with a sigh. You looked up at him again. “Then just tell me the truth. What are we doing here?” 

“What the fuck do you mean?” Ben’s hands went to his waist, and once again, he frowned in irritation. “I’m here. What more do you want from me?” 

“Do you love me?” you asked. “And don’t lie to me.” 

He knew very well that you would be able to detect if he was lying. Which was why, you suspected, he hadn’t tried to. 

He couldn’t seem to answer you though…and that broke your heart.

Shaking your head, you walked away from him to get ready for work.

Your attitude at work was snappish at best. Annie had pulled you from the Surveillance department on your lunch break to join her and your friends in the breakroom, but you couldn’t enjoy yourself like you usually would.

“Smooth and creamy, all the motherfuckin’ way,” M.M. said. Sitting across from him in the breakroom was Frenchie, pelting him with a roasted peanut.

“This is why you are an unsophisticated, bourgeois, fucking fuddy-duddy,” Frenchie remarked. He was also vaping, as Annie was trying to get him to stop smoking indoors. “Extra crunchy peanut butter is the only way to do business.”

“What’s the point? Just eat peanuts if you want it that crunchy,” M.M. countered. He blocked each roasted nut thrown at him and organized them in a perfect pile on the table.

“You know what? You’re right. Smooth and creamy is how I’ll eat out your mother’s sweet and savory vajine,” Frenchie teased.

M.M.’s deadpan face was priceless. But when a peanut projectile strayed and hit you in the cheek, you leveled Frenchie with a glare.

“Can you guys not act like children for five goddamn minutes?” you snapped.

His brows raised, along with his hands in surrender. M.M. and Annie looked at you in mild surprise, and the latter with concern after the guys eventually left.

“What’s going on with you? You’ve looked tense as hell all day,” she asked. You sighed, holding a hand to your brow.

“I know. I’m sorry,” you replied. She gave you a knowing look.

“Is…something going on?” she asked. “Is it Ben?”

Most of the S.A. was still wary of Ben, while M.M. tolerated him at best. (You understood how hard he was trying.)

You appreciated Annie though. She was a good friend, and along with Hughie, she’d been another who started to come around to the idea of Ben. Not only as he occasionally worked with the S.A., but to the man himself, after she’d seen the way he did his best to save you, Yvette, and her son Devon.

You nodded at her question. You couldn’t help the tears burgeoning in your eyes. Annie scooched her chair over so she could rub your back in comfort. You sniffed and tried not to break down here in the middle of the breakroom, over your sad ham sandwich.

“We had a fight,” you admitted. Annie’s gaze was tight with concern.

“Did he…hurt you?” she asked. Her brown eyes were as direct as her words, promising her protection as well as retribution, depending on how you answered.

Your glassy eyes widened. “No. He’s not like that, he…believe it or not, but he’s never hurt me, Annie. Not once.”

After a moment, she nodded. “Okay, good. Well, tell me what happened.”

You wanted to. But before you could, both of you got an incoming text in the team group chat. It was from Grace Mallory.

She had a new mission.

Grace asked you to join the team on your first field mission since you’d returned to work three months ago. She also called in Ben, as in her words, it was another “all hands on fucking deck” situation.

Ben and Butcher eyed one another with similar stoic frowns, before they proceeded to ignore each other. Despite how you felt about Ben right now, the brief exchange almost made you smirk.

Apparently the whole I saved you with my super blood thing was awkward for both of them. You knew Ben had seen it as a means to an end. You still didn’t know how Butcher felt about it, but it seemed as if a begrudging respect had formed between the two men.

Or at least, they were civil, anyway.

“All right,” Grace said, once she saw that everyone was in attendance. “Let’s begin.”

A supe named Sapphire had been giving the CIA trouble for years now. She was moving drugs from South America to the States, to the Middle East, whoever would deal with her. And she was smart. She had a network of spies that transcended continents, and so she had evaded every attempt at arrest.

She was also a powerful supe, with the ability to channel vaporizing energy not unlike Crimson Countess had. However, this supe could spear blue shards of light through her enemies as well.  With her damn eyes.

Grace turned to you after she finished explaining the details of the mission.

“Sapphire’s internal security is advanced. Our system can’t penetrate her firewalls. You’ll need to get a hand on the mainframe from there, shut down her system. Then our Surveillance team can back you up here.”

You nodded, but in the corner of your eye, you noticed Ben frowning as he crossed his arms.

“What?” you asked.

“You’re out of practice,” he told you. “You really think you’re ready for this?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I train every day,” you snapped back.

Ben’s expression fell into irritation. “Not the same, and you fucking know it.”

Butcher, Annie, and the others watched the exchange with mixed wariness and discomfort. Grace looked between you and Ben with curious, narrowed eyes.

“Is this going to be a problem, you two working together on this?” she asked.

You turned from Ben’s annoyed face and met Grace’s gaze directly.

“Not at all,” you said.

Sapphire had been spotted doing business in the Meat Packing District. By day, the building was a beef butchering factory. By night, it was apparently one of the most massive drug running operations in the city.

As such, her security team was extensive—at the front, the back, and the roof. So while Butcher, Kimiko, and Ben broke through the front, making a lot of noise and distraction, the rest of you went under.

Unfortunately, that meant the sewer. Annie lit the way through, while M.M. followed a set of schematics to find the right spot.

“It’s not my first time in the bowels of New York City, but please God, let it be the last,” Hughie quipped. You tried not to breathe the foul smell through your nose.

“Watch the fucking rat,” M.M. said with a grimace, before he set up the double-sided ladder he brought. He and Frenchie climbed either side of it up to the metal ceiling which, according to the building’s schematics, led directly beneath the factory basement.

They took up welding guns and masks to carve a large hole into the metal and cement above. And soon enough, they pushed up and slid over a large portion, creating a gap you could all crawl through. 

M.M. helped Annie up first, and she shot a few star bolts at the three men inside, who had been smoking and eating deli sandwiches. Each of them went down, alive, but groaning in pain. That allowed the rest of you to climb up and into the basement.

“We’re in,” M.M. said into the Bluetooth communicator in his ear.

“We’re cutting through her goon squad,” Butcher said. “Sapphire’s here somewhere. I can smell a massive cunt already.”

“Gross. Thanks for that visual,” Annie remarked.

From there, you all took off toward the stairwell. It was your task to find the operation’s security control room. So Hughie and Frenchie went with you as backup, while M.M. and Annie went to join the fight and find Sapphire.

It took you a few tries to find the right room. Most of them were offices. One contained wagons of discarded meat parts (disgusting). But eventually, you found a large room filled with computer equipment and a huge wall monitor with several panels of camera feeds. You and Frenchie raised your guns and took out the team inside.

Then you and Hughie went to the controls. Frenchie watched the door while you worked to disable the firewall first. You instructed Hughie on how to knock out their communications as well. And within a few minutes, your work was done. You were able to make a call to the S.A. Surveillance team.

“Hey, friend!” a cheerful voice greeted you. You smiled; it was your coworker Jess, who you’d worked with for the past two years. 

“Jess?”

“Yep! I’m helping out on this one. What do you need?”

“I shut down the firewall. I’m giving you the I.P. address now so you can connect.”

“…Okay, got it. I’m in. I can see all twenty cameras, and you! Hey, there.”

“All right, where’s Sapphire?” you asked.

“Looks like they haven’t found her yet,” Hughie said, pointing at the camera feed in the main room, filled with rows of conveyor belts, and a massive fight as Ben, Butcher, and the others made their way through the building.

“We’ll just have to help them clear each room,” you said. “Let’s go. Jess, keep an eye on us, but look out for Sapphire.”

“Will do. I’m patched into your comm now too,” she said. So you hung up your cell, and you left with Hughie and Frenchie.

You ran into more security when you left the room, more than the three of you could realistically handle as a fire fight began. You guys ran in the opposite direction, but while you veered right around the corner, Frenchie and Hughie ran left. Bullets tore in between, making sure that none of you could cross the hall to join back up.

“You guys keep going. I’ll find my own way out,” you called out to them. Neither of them liked that idea, but Frenchie nodded and pulled Hughie away when Sapphire’s security team closed in.

You kept running down the hall. You knew you were being chased. Several heavy footsteps thundered behind you. 

“Jess, I need a way out of here,” you commed in.

“You’re on the second floor,” she said. “The closest stairwell is the one you’re running away from.”

“What’s the second closest?” You panted as you ran.

“Hmm, you can cut through room 234. The exit stairwell is right on the other side.”

 “Is the room clear?” you asked.

After a moment, Jess answered. “Yep, it should be.”

"Should be?”you said dubiously.

“What the hell’s going on?” you heard Ben’s voice on the line. You heard the edge of his annoyance (and underlying worry), but you didn’t have time to talk to him right now.

“Looks clear on my end,” said Jess,“but this connection is a bit wonky.”

Damn it, Jess, you thought. When you reached room 234, the door was solid gray. There was no window to peek into, and you didn’t have time for caution, as a stray bullet nearly caught you in the head.

You ripped the door open and ran in, slamming the door shut behind you and locking it for good measure.

You turned around and stopped short. A gasp caught in your throat.

The room was huge, and it was filled wall-to-wall with white packages, of what you could only assume was cocaine. A few men were continuing to stack them. At the center of it all was a tall woman, rich tan skin, long black hair, wearing a deep blue pantsuit and killer heels. She looked like a boss ass bitch.

But unfortunately, she was also looking straight at you, raising a brow.

“Ah,” she said. A smile curved her lips, painted with a dark plum lipstick. “You’re one of the little bitches making a mess in my office.” 

Her eyes glowed blue, and yours widened. You dove for the nearest shelter—a wall of cocaine parcels. White powder exploded and wafted in the air as you ducked and ran across the room (and tried not to inhale). You drew your gun and shot out the legs of her men underneath the long stretch of table, but you yelped as bullets continued to follow you.

“I found Sapphire! Need backup in 234!” you shouted into the comm.

But when a blast of blue energy rocked into the wall directly behind you, you screamed as you were thrown forward. You landed painfully on your side, with the wind knocked out of you.

After a moment, you drew breath into your lungs and were able to pick yourself up. The exit door was close, a mere few feet away, but the second you reached for it, you had to pull back as narrow blue shards of light pierced the door. 

Sapphire was quickly approaching, just a yard or so away from grabbing you.

Instead of shooting your gun, you went for the taser at your belt and shot fast. Sapphire grabbed the end of the line like a fucking moron. Her blue eyes widened in outrage and pain when it shocked 50,000 volts of electricity through her body.

You took your chance, and you ripped the door open and fled. You just didn’t expect the bolt of energy that shot after you when you reached the stairs.

It didn’t hit you, but trying to dodge it made you lose your balance. You uttered a short scream as you were forced to jump the first flight of stairs.

You landed on the middle platform between the first and second floor. This time, you knew you twisted your ankle badly on the way down. You whimpered, holding your ankle and shin, but you knew you didn’t have time to waste.

It was a struggle to claw your way up to the guard rail. You could barely put pressure on your right foot, but you had no choice as you scrambled down the rest of the stairs. Already the door to the stairwell was blown open, and a pissed supe was on her way down behind you.

After shoving the door open on the first floor, you stumbled out and took another painful spill across the concrete floor. To your relief, M.M. picked you up by your arms.

The door behind you swung open, and before Sapphire could fire off a vaporizing blow, Ben raised his new titanium shield in front of you and M.M.

The blue energy bounced right off, and Ben used his shield to bat the supe right in the face—like swatting a fly. With a shriek, she was thrown hard against the wall.

Sapphire sunk to her knees, then the electric blue flickered out of her eyes as she fell unconscious to the floor.

When you all returned to Supe Affairs, Ben thundered down the hall towards the Surveillance department.

“Ben!” You hurried after him the best you could with a sprained ankle, bare-footed and wrapped, while M.M. and Hughie trailed behind. The others were busy getting Sapphire into custody.

Hughie was concerned for you though, while M.M. also wanted to know how you were going to try and reign in Soldier Boy.

“What the hell are you doing?” you called after Ben.

“I wanna know what goddamn moron cleared that fucking room,” he barked, but he didn’t slow down.

M.M. called your name from behind.

“Get your boyfriend in check,” he warned.

You sighed in irritation. At this point, you didn’t even know if he was your boyfriend.

But you struggled to reach him. You were practically hopping on one foot. The moment you tried to put any pressure on your right one, you faltered with a cry as you all but crashed against the wall to catch yourself. Hughie went to help you, grabbing your arm gently with a supportive hand on your back.

You didn’t see it, but that was when Ben stopped short. His jaw ticked. And he turned on his booted heel. When he saw you struggling to support yourself against the wall, he reluctantly went back. He knocked Hughie’s scrawny hands off you and wrapped an arm around your waist.

When he tried to just gather you into his arms to get the weight off your injured foot, you snapped at him.

“I can walk!” you said. “Let’s just go home please.”

His nostrils flared in irritation, but he helped you try to walk back toward the exit instead. You winced in pain with every small step.

Ben growled in annoyance. Fuck this. 

He hefted you effortlessly into his arms. You gasped and clung to his shoulders, and afterwards, you glared at him.

“I said I can walk!” you insisted.

“Shut up,” he grated out, swiftly heading for the exit doors down the hall. M.M. and Hughie watched with wide eyes while you and Ben devolved into what you did best.

“Don’t tell me to shut up!” you raised your voice.

He glared at you. “You’re in rare fucking form right now.”

“You’re the one being an asshole!”

“And you’re being a disrespectful brat!”

You rolled your eyes as anger burned hot in your veins. “What-fucking-ever, grandpa.”

Ben’s teeth clicked and grinded together. It took everything he had within him not to toss you. 

“You really wanna fucking get it, don’t you?”

“Suck my dick. How about that?” you sassed back, unfazed by his warning. 

Ben bulldozed through the double doors with a swift kick that shook them on their hinges. The bickering continued long after you two exited the building. 

Hughie just stared, mouth gaping, while M.M. crossed his arms. 

“That is some volatile shit,” Hughie remarked. 

M.M. scoffed, with a subtle shake of his head. 

“Nah, man,” he said ruefully. “That’s true motherfuckin’ love.”

Meanwhile, in the car, Ben drove home to Scarsdale. You simmered in the passenger seat. He glanced at you.

“Are you gonna be a hissy bitch all night?” he asked. You glowered at him.

“You’re the fucking grouch,” you shot back. In times like these, you liked to fantasize. Sometimes you wished you could rip out his spine and play Jenga with the vertebrae.  

“And you’re the one who nearly got yourself killed,” he retorted.

You took issue with this, your brows raising high.

“Excuse me? You’re really blaming me for what happened with Sapphire? You were ready to take out my friend for making an honest mistake.”

His gaze briefly left the road, turning to you in frustration. He didn't understand how you couldn't get it through your thick skull. You had been one shaky step shy of being fucking vaporized today.

No blood. No body. Just...nothing.

“Case in point, you’re the best in Surveillance," he said gruffly. "You don’t need to be in the field."

His compliment stopped you, warming you a little, but he was missing the point.

“I go where I’m needed, just like you,” you said. “You don’t get to tell me how, when, or where to do my job.”

Needless to say, it was tense for the rest of the way home.

Ben helped you inside, after which, you were determined to get to the bedroom by yourself. He watched you hop away from him with a frustrated shake of his head.

He sighed and started to peel off his gloves and untie his boots…but instead of leaving them by the door, like he usually would, he kept walking until he made it to the bedroom he shared with you. He sat on the edge of the bed and took his boots off there.

He watched you ignore him as you closed yourself into the bathroom.

You came out of the shower a little while later. Your hair was damp, but unwashed as you hadn’t been able to stand there for very long. The wrap on your ankle had gotten wet, so you grabbed the spare one that the paramedic had given you.

Ben didn’t look at you as he took his turn heading into the bathroom. After the door shut, your shoulders slumped with a sigh.

You tried to put on some shorts, but you quickly gave up and instead put on an overlarge shirt over your underwear. You remembered then that this shirt was an old one of Ben’s, and now a favorite of yours, because it still smelled like that earthy mix of his cologne and aftershave.

Frowning, you sucked in a deep breath. And you made a decision.

By the time Ben came back out with a towel wrapped around his hips, he found you still in the bedroom. Except you were packing a suitcase—the same one he’d brought to the safe house he’d shared with you for a month.

You were stuffing clothes into it from your side of the dresser. Something churned uncomfortably in his stomach, and he approached you.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he demanded to know.

You glanced up at him, but continued packing.

“Well, you made yourself very clear this morning that we’re just roommates. So I’m going to the guest room.”

“All right, don’t get all fucking hormonal,” he said, reaching out with a hand to stop you. You snatched your hand away from him. His brows raised in disbelief.

When you tried to get past him on the way to your closet, he held fast to your arm. With an angry frown, he then grabbed your suitcase and spilled it over onto the bed. You didn’t need a fucking suitcase to move one room over. Not that he planned to let you go any-damn-where.

“Enough,” he said sharply.

You met his intense stare with your own, but your eyes were shining and red. In that moment, you both stilled. The silence was palpable. For you, it was heartbreaking.

“I can’t do this anymore, Ben,” you confessed. Tears welled up in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall just yet. “I put my all into this, and I just…I can’t be with someone who won’t be honest with me.”

You started to grab your suitcase again, along with your discarded clothes. Ben stopped you. 

“I said enough,” he snapped. 

You then threw the heap of clothes to the floor, suitcase and all.

“Why?” you tearfully retorted. “Why should I listen to you?” 

His deep green eyes searched yours. For what, you didn’t know.

Eventually, you started to see through the cracks of his anger.

“Because I fucking love you,” he said. 

You blinked up at him, with hope stuck in your throat. But you were stubborn in your denial.

“You’re just saying that to get me off your back,” you argued. “Either you’ve just gotten used to having me around, or you just don’t feel like being alone. But you don’t really care about me.”

You knew you were saying words you didn’t mean.

You knew that wasn’t true…but you couldn’t help it.

You were more upset than angry now, seconds away from dissolving into pitiful tears. You were just stubborn enough to hold them at bay.

“Just shut up for one goddamn second,” Ben said. He held you by your shoulders, though his hands soon moved down to grip your arms. It wasn’t a painful hold, but it was firm, and quite possibly pleading.

Despite your better judgment, you gave him time to speak.

“You really think I’d stay here in this shithole if I didn’t want you?” he asked. “If I didn’t care about you?”

You unconsciously held your breath. For a long moment, he hesitated to continue.

Again, you waited for him.

Meanwhile, Ben knew he was being a coward. He’d been holding back. Not because he wasn’t serious about you, but because he’d been burned before. 

He knew he’d spent his life being a fucking bastard, in most ways. He knew he’d been wrong, and hadn’t given two shits about it. But Crimson Countess…Tess…he’d been willing to settle down with her. He’d actually told her he loved her and hadn’t been totally lying through his teeth. 

Yeah, he’d fucked around. Flirted with other women in front of her. He knew he was a hypocrite. Still, in whatever way he could at the time, he thought he’d loved her. 

And she’d lied to him. She’d gone through the motions of being with him. For fame or fear or whatever her reasons had been, she went along with it. And then she’d sold him out, along with the rest of their team. 

For nothing. Just to get him the fuck out of her life—out of the world. 

So what was he supposed to do with you? Just let you walk the fuck in, give you the deepest parts of him? A dark fucking space that he’d never given to anyone.

Well, he knew now if he didn’t, you were going to leave. But he wasn’t willing to let go either.

So…he relented. For once in his life, he told the truth.

“I love you,” Ben admitted. “In my whole damn life…I think you’re the only one who’s made me feel it for real.” 

Tears finally slipped down your cheeks. You reached out and grasped his wrist, mostly for stability as you took in his words. He took that hand, held it to his warm chest. Always warm. 

“But one day, I’m still going to fucking lose you,” he said, looking down on you. “Then I’ll be right back where I started.”

Alone. 

You looked up at him with a sad, rueful smile. 

“Not exactly where you started,” you replied. He wasn’t the same man you met last year. You pressed your free hand to his cheek.

“Taking Compound V doesn’t guarantee I’ll come out like you, with a longer lifespan.”

“It’s something the CIA can work on,” Ben said. 

“You want Dr. Baker to experiment on me?” you asked, quirking a brow. The CIA had recruited her, ironically enough.

Ben closed his eyes for a second, letting out a slight huff. “That’s not what I’m fucking saying.”

You nodded and soothed your fingers through his hair. 

“Okay, we’ll have that conversation. I promise.” Then you smiled. “But let me just have this moment…my boyfriend loves me.”

You looked into his eyes and you knew he meant it. His hands moved to your waist, around to the small of your back. You clung to his shoulders and shifted off your aching ankle with a wince. Ben noticed, and he raised you up to him. It had the added benefit of letting you reach his face easier.

He guided you into a searing kiss. You responded in kind, delving into his hair again and opening your mouth to his demanding tongue. With the tips of your toes, you pushed up from the ground and he helped you wrap your legs around his waist.

The towel he wore was starting to slip, and you shoved it the rest of the way off with your foot, until he stood in the center of the bedroom in all his glory. 

He smirked into your lips and walked you to the bed. But before he could lay you down, you broke the kiss and held his face.

“You really love me?” you asked, just to make sure. It was the part of you, perhaps still scarred deep down, that had to ask.

Ben chuckled. He rested his forehead against yours. “You’re mine, sweetheart. Don’t you fucking forget it.”

You grinned, and you kissed him this time, only breaking when he lowered down to the bed. Once your back met the plush mattress, all bets were off. He wrenched your shirt up over your head, and you reached for him again.

Your lips drew a hot, wet path from his jawline to his neck, biting and sucking all along the way to that sensitive spot between his neck and shoulder. His hand clenched in your hair, a deep sound caught in his throat when he felt the sharp sting of your teeth, playfully biting, then soothing with your tongue.

Your nails bit into his skin, but merely felt like teasing down his back, making a shiver trill along his spine. He all but pressed you into the mattress as he made his own descent.

Your fingers trailed up and into his hair while his mouth worked its way down between your breasts, stopping to lavish attention on each one. You made sounds of pleasure when he took a hardened nipple between his lips, between his teeth, dragging deliciously over your skin.

Your thighs wrapped around his hips again, He bucked teasingly into your clothed core, making you moan when you felt his wet tip dampening your panties.

“Ben…”

His lips curved, but he didn’t answer you. His fingers were pressing into the flesh of your thigh as he continued to tease your breasts. You’d felt how hard he was already and frankly, you were surprised he was taking his time.

“Listen,” you panted in his ear. “You’ve gotta wrap it up this time. Do we even have condoms?”

You knew for a fact that Ben didn’t buy them. 

But his brows furrowed. His mouth left your breast as he looked up at you.

“What?”

“I haven’t replaced my IUD yet,” you confessed. Its five-year lifespan had been up, and so you’d gotten the birth control device removed a few days ago.

Now, you watched in amusement at the way his lips curved into a pleased grin.

“No, don’t you even think about it,” you warned. Though you almost laughed at how excited he looked. “We’re not ready for that.”

“Why fucking not?” Ben asked. His pressed his length against your core more insistently. The idea of fucking you raw, spilling into you, putting his seed deep inside you without resistance, had his cock throbbing with anticipation.

“Ben!” You had to laugh. You two hadn’t even been living together that long, and you had just gotten on the same page after six months of trying to figure out what you were together.

“Don’t tell me you don’t want kids,” he said. And he began to ply you with tantalizing kisses along the column of your throat, down your neck, the scraping of teeth making you shudder in delight.

“I do,” you could admit. “But is right now really the best ti—”

He choked a moan out of you as his fingers pushed your underwear aside and spread your folds, then delved right in. Your core pulsed, hot and wet as his thick digits sunk deep inside you.

“God,” you uttered, gripping his hair tight. He stretched and explored your inner channel with two fingers, while his thumb found your clit with ease.

“When then?” he asked. But his hand was unrelenting, working you over until your toes curled and the coil in your lower belly began to tighten. You looked up at him helplessly.   

“Can we talk about this later?” you keened. Ben smirked and suddenly withdrew his fingers from your dripping pussy. He snatched your underwear, ripping them down the middle and making you gasp.

“No time like the fucking present,” he insisted. He lined himself up to your entrance, but you stopped him with a warning look. You knew if you let him inside you now, he was going to try and get his way.

“Ben,” you warned.

He sighed and let you stop him, but then his teasing edge faded.

Ben pressed a hand to your cheek. When he leaned down to kiss you, you felt the need and wanting behind it. 

He pulled away to meet your eyes. You softened looking up into his, because you understood what he wanted.

“We have time, baby,” you promised, stroking his chin. “We’ll have a family…just give us some time.”

He was disappointed…but he nodded. Sighing again through his nose, he clenched a hand into the now tangled mess of your hair.

“Say it,” he demanded. “Say you’re fucking mine.”

Your eyes widened. In all of this, you’d forgotten to be honest yourself. 

“Of course I’m yours,” you said. “I love you, Ben. So much, I can hardly take it.” 

He closed his eyes with furrowed brows. It had been a very long time since he’d heard those words. Maybe the first time someone had said them with any real sincerity, besides his mother. 

You encouraged him to look at you, both with your voice and your hand gently touching his face. And when he opened his eyes, you marveled at the depths there. 

Smiling, you guided him back to your lips. It was slow and sweet…until it wasn’t, deepening in passion and urgency again. Need burned inside you, so deep and strong that you couldn't take it anymore.

You slipped a hand between you to grasp his still hard cock. You caressed him a few times, letting your thumb circle around the sensitive head. Ben couldn’t help thrusting into your hand, releasing a grunt. His eyes briefly closed again as you pressed open-mouthed kisses to his neck, down his chest.

“I need you,” you whispered against his skin. Ben nodded while you held his length poised at your entrance. He raised your hips, tucking your ankles over shoulders. For your injured one, he rubbed your calf.

“What a fuckin’ trooper,” he said with a smirk.

You smiled, but it soon fell into a moan as he began to push inside you. Every time, he stretched and filled you completely. Your inner walls wrapped around him and already fluttered with heat.

“Fuck, baby doll. Got me tight as a damn glove,” Ben remarked. You had to giggle, but that just squeezed him harder. When he began to move, it was all you could do to cling to his shoulders.

As basic as the position was, you liked being able to see his face. You knew when to spur him on, and when to just hold on for dear fucking life. But above all, he was a skilled man, and you enjoyed watching him work.

You were so consumed by it that when he came, it took both of you by surprise. He spilled into you hot and deep, but he still filled you with ragged thrusts, which hit that special place inside that made your entire body shudder with pleasure. You couldn’t help but come apart with him.

Your nails bit fruitlessly into his skin as your voice rose on a high moan. The two of you panted for breath, and he pulled out and let down your legs back to the bed. Once you felt the telltale dripping of his release slipping down from between your legs, your eyes widened. 

Oh shit, you thought. “We forgot the condom.”

Ben stared down at you, first in confusion, then in surprise. And finally, with a broad, Cheshire-like grin.

You laid a hand over your eyes as you relaxed into the pillow behind your head, trying not to laugh.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” you said.

“We? I was following your lead,” Ben said. He moved to lay beside you in full satisfaction, folding his hands over his chest. He looked like the cat that caught the horny-ass canary.

"Haven't you heard of, oh, I don't know, pulling out?" you quipped. Ben rose a brow at you, still with that smug look on his face.

"Not my philosophy, sweetheart," he said.

Your mouth dropped open incredulously. Your gaze narrowed, but looking into his gleaming eyes, you really just had to laugh. His smile grew.

Ugh. Whatever, you thought. For now, you closed your legs and moved over to rest your head on his shoulder. He welcomed you with an arm wrapping around your waist.

What’re the chances that I’m ovulating anyway? you thought.

After a beat, you huffed another laugh. With your luck, you’d definitely have to stop at a drugstore for a pregnancy test.

And yet, in times like these, you were happy that you caved when Ben insisted on installing a TV in the bedroom. After you both got cleaned up, it was nice to fall into bed like you used to and find something new to watch together.

There were so many things you wanted him to catch up on, and he was generally game for whatever you thought he might like.

Three episodes of The Office later though, you stopped laughing so much and fell into your thoughts. Ben noticed, tugging on a loose strand of your hair.

“What’s the matter?”

“You really think our apartment is a shithole?” you asked.

He shrugged. “I might’ve embellished.”

“Seriously. If you’re not comfortable here—”

“I’m comfortable,” he said, turning his gaze to you. “Why’re you asking me that now?”

“I don’t know,” you said. “I just want you to be happy here. I want this to feel like home for both of us, but not like, boring either.” 

He smirked. “Hence the caravan of whores and blow.” 

You shook your head with a laugh. But he still saw you trying to stem off that worry. That all this wasn’t enough for him. 

Well, Ben could complain about being cramped in this three-bedroom apartment…but he knew that when he came home, he wouldn’t be alone. 

He’d be able to see your stuff on the nightstand, by your side of the bed, your half of the closet, your sweet-smelling soaps and lotions in the bathroom. All of that was familiar to him now. 

It was home, he supposed. And so were you.

The beginnings of a softer smile curved his lips, but he edged it into a smirk.  

“You’ve got something they don’t,” he said. 

“What’s that?” you asked, raising a brow. 

“You try the ever-living fuck out of my patience,” he said, “unlike anyone on the planet.” 

With a giggle, you rolled over onto his arm and chest, resting your head on his shoulder. 

“Buuut…?” 

He conceded with a nod, if also a roll of his eyes. His arm lifted to once again slip around your waist.

“But no matter how fucked up it got, you stayed.”

With me, his tone implied.

“That’s more than anyone else in my goddamn life,” he said.

And that made you tear up all over again.

“So you’re staying,” you clarified, only half-teasing.

It reminded you of when you’d sat tied to a chair, wondering why the hell Soldier Boy would want to let you live. You could’ve never known it then, but you’d stared straight into the face of your future.

You didn’t know if Ben was remembering the same thing, but he smiled a little, brushing away your tears with his thumb.

“I’m staying,” he replied. Your smile brightened, and you leaned up for a kiss.

“Then we’re square,” you whispered against his lips. 

He chuckled and deepened the kiss. He turned off the TV, chucking the remote further down the bed and turned to trap you beneath him again.

“Nope.” You finished wiping your eyes and pushed against his chest. “You’re not finessing me twice. Go find a damn condom.”

He gave you a grumpy look. “Fucking killjoy.”

“You’re ridiculous,” you laughed. You reached up and took his face in your hands.

“I promised, didn’t I?” you reminded. “We’ll get there.”

His gaze searched yours.

“Soon, not someday,” he said. You nodded, soothing your thumb across his cheek.

“Soon,” you agreed. And you reminded him, even as your throat constricted once more with emotion. “Ben, I love you…God, I love you. And I’ve never wanted this with anyone but you.”

Ben paused, but after a moment, he nodded in acceptance. You were grateful for it. Even though you weren’t quite ready yet, he wasn’t the only one who wanted a family.

While your fractured past and upbringing made it hard for you to move past your fears, your insecurities, you knew that this man made you feel safe.

For the first time in your life, you also felt whole.

Soon enough, you’d be brave too.

AN: That's all, folks. Been a great ride...

Ha! Just kidding. I'm nowhere near done with these two, even with this long-ass epilogue lol.

But honestly, no matter what part of the journey you jumped into with this story, thank you so much for sticking with me until the end. It's truly been one of my favorite stories ever to write. And I'm so glad I got the chance to share it with you. 🥹💚🥹

Next Time:

Ready for Part 2 (of 3) of "Love Actually"?

(AKA: Ben is forced to attend Christmas dinner to meet his girlfriend's whole family.)

Here's a sneak peek:

“Hey. What’s taking so damn long?” he asked. His brows were furrowed, mouth set in an aggravated frown. “I already told you. I’m not planning on being at this thing all night. So if you don’t come down here in the next ten minutes, I swear to fucking Christ—” 

Ben stopped short, as he heard your footsteps at the top of the stairs. When he looked up with expectant, pursed lips, his face subtly froze. 

“What? What’re you gonna do?” you teased. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you grasped the guardrail and carefully made your way down the stairs. These heels were no joke...

😂 Until then, let me know what you thought of the BMD finale! 💚💚

Series Masterlist

Soldier Boy Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Series Tag List:

Comment below or send me an ask if you'd like to be tagged in this series!

@deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @spalady26 @spnwoman @syrma-sensei @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @muhahaha303 @123passwort

@xoxovienna @katherineann814 @lollag0w0 @globetrotter28 @nancymcl @ashbatz @secretdreamlandmentality @kristophalis @wonderland2022 @emily-winchester @shelh93 @sl33pylilbunny @spoonmynoodle @chernayawidow

@buckybarnes-1917 @asgardprincess97 @sometimes-i-sing @itsyellow @theonlymaninthesky @kimberleymjw @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @iamsapphine @sanscas @se-fucking-hun @lassie-bird @jessjad @yepimthatperson @fromcaintodean @stoneyggirl2

@spnfamily-j2 @im-a-slut-for-fluff @lacilou @venicesem @mimaria420 @vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses @tearsfortheyouth @agalliasi @chriszgirl92

[noenvyy]

Dark Humor: Things I find unintentionally funny about Pete’s kidnapping in KinnPorsche

Okay I really hope this post doesn’t offend anyone, that is not my intention, I know Pete’s kidnapping is hella traumatic and complicated and such but like the way the directors choose to frame it sometimes! 

I swear, you end up with a lot of unintentionally funny parts that just make the whole thing so much more messed up than it is! I just can’t! 

Here they are, the three things that make me laugh and feel like I’m going to hell because of it. 

#1: Kinn and Porsche just STRAIGHT up forget about Pete

Like wtf guys?? Okay so on the one hand, this is kind of like deeply sad considering how loyal Pete’s been the entire time. But literally the way it’s presented to the viewer is like this....

And it keeps GOING! I swear throughout the whole of the next episode there are constant switches between scenes of Pete getting tortured... 

And our main gays just like fucking honeymooning and shit! Like, just look at this----

What the hell??

Ugh. You goddamn homosexuals. Who am I kidding, I’m so fucking happy for you guys. 

#2: The whole ridiculous hedgehog sequence when we literally see Pete’s Stockholm Syndrome Activate

No words honestly the scene speaks for itself...

I mean by the end of this evening even Vegas is like----

#3: Hostage Salad

Okay this is the one that I just CAN’T get over.  So like we had a very scary food moment with Vegas earlier in the episode...

So when he shows up again and brings up the subject of food we’re kind of on edge . Like are we going all Audition again? Is it another dog food bowl??..

But then like, Pete like glances to the side at what Vegas has brought him and it’s like...

A salad?? A fucking salad?? That’s so god damned WEIRD! Like out of all the foods you could bring your little hostage boy toy you whip him up a salad! What kind of monster------

*deep breath* oohhhh I’m dead. At least he gets noodles later.