#I swear to fuck we did not set this up and this is not a bit
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Something, something, König picking up gaming in his free time, not uncommon for an older guy especially with a cute little thing who has a nice set up for gaming and he absolutely takes to it with flying colours. Kinda pissing you off how he’s gotten leagues better than you at one of your favourites in such a short amount of time. So when that skin you absolutely NEED drops you’re going insane grinding for it. It’s frustrating too because all the sweats have come out of the woodwork to grind for it too, leading to a lot of swearing and groaning on your end, coincidentally, König’s free time aligns and he’s more than happy to help you grind the tougher parts if you sit pretty on his lap and drain his pent cock.
What’s better than two stress relievers when he comes home from a high tension workplace environment?
(Bonus points if he’s your weird online long distance boyfriend who definitely told you an age younger than what’s on his ID and the place he comes home to is just your apartment that he decided was his too.)
Brother. The way this ask is in my mind. I would like to preface this by saying if you or a loved one is playing a video game with microtransactions and limited edition skin drops it’s not too late to get help. We can beat this together.
cw: he’s kind of a creep in this. Red flags abound. Somno/dubcon type stuff
Gonna make a couple of amendments to this one if that’s ok. 1) König is never going to be a god gamer because his hands are too fucking big and also I WANNA BE THE DOMINANT GAMER IN THE RELATIONSHIP. My ass is carrying HIM in apex. I don’t care that he knows how to shoot real guns. Don’t take this away from me
2) while he didn’t outright lie about his age, he did not say shit that would lead you to believe this man was over 40. He shared very few details about his personal life. Just that he was in the military, Austrian, and now? A gamer. Those are all the hallmarks of being a man in his 20s! Except the Austrian thing— that can happen to anyone.
I like to imagine he treats you like his discord kitten tho. You ask how old he is and he’s like “I’m an adult, if that’s what you’re worried about” or “old enough” or “don’t worry about it” and you say “okay 💖 yay 💖”
And he’s 100% your sugar daddy. Constantly buying you games just so you can co-op with him, gifting you in-game currency to spend on battle passes, absolutely ravaging your wishlist— steam, amazon, or otherwise.
He finds himself in your area for work and you tell him your address so he can meet up with you.
And you’re kind of a stupid femcel so when this dude shows up at your door, almost seven feet tall and wearing a surgical mask, scarred face with a healthy grey streak in his hair, it’s not setting off any alarm bells. There’s like at least 5 red flags here but you’re colorblind and inviting him in.
You didn’t realize that he was planning on staying with you while he was in the area. You also didn’t realize that the moment he found out he’d be stationed near you, he decided it was time to take your relationship to the next level.
Which is how you end up stretched out on his cock on the same day that you met in person for the first time, with him grunting in your ear about how he dreamed of this— thought of it every time he jerked off when you fell asleep during a discord call. He could tell just from your voice that you’d be pretty and soft and tight and perfect for him— and he was ready to settle down.
Good thing you didn’t really have any plans for the rest of your life, or you might find how fast he moves a little scary.
So it makes sense that you’re still a little shy. Too nervous to initiate things usually. So he just has to motivate you a little.
This skin’s an exclusive, can’t be earned with currency, and available as a drop for just 7 days. You can’t put in the hours to get it on your own, not to mention how tedious it is, and it can’t be bought. But it’s so cute.
So he makes the offer. He’ll spend his precious leave time helping you earn it if you keep his cock warm while he does it. He’d initially planned on using that time to rearrange your guts, so you’re gonna have to make it worth his while.
And maybe you exaggerate a little. You’re used to saying these things over calls— where nothing has any repercussions in the real world. Where you can promise anything from the safety of being on a screen a world away.
You tell him you’ll let him do whatever he wants to you if he can get that skin for you. After a moment you realize the implications of saying that to someone who can and will hold you down and make out with your cervix using the tip of his cock.
He borrows one of your elastics to tie back his hair.
He’s gonna get you that skin. And then he’s gonna get you pregnant.
You did say anything.
#writing#cod fanfic#cod#cw somno#cw dubcon#cw obsessive#konig x you#konig x reader#König#könig x reader#könig x you#konig#konig cod#könig cod
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OH! also what about christmas lights with nicojack! maybe maybe pornstar!nicojack au?
okay promise that’s it i won’t bombard you. can’t wait to see what you cook up 💛
this is a bit more 'behind the scenes' than a video👹but thank you for requesting, lee! enjoy reading it whilst you are attempting to work!
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“You look kinda pretty like this.”
Jack let out a noise of offence, looking at you with his eyes narrowed in a glare. “Kinda?”
“You look very pretty,” you corrected, biting back your giggles as you watched the boy huff in response, even if there was a smile starting to show on his face.
And in your unbiased opinion, he did look very pretty.
The camera was already set up at the bottom of the bed, standing on the tripod facing the bed both you and Jack were currently sitting on. Jack was currently sprawled out on the bed, which wasn’t an unusual way for the videos to start. The difference was the string of Christmas lights that were wrapped around his arms and wrists, keeping them secured against the headboard.
“Very pretty, schatz,” Nico hummed as he gently traced his fingers over Jack’s wrists, making sure it wasn’t too tight or restricting before smiling down at the boy.
Jack preened, raising his brows. “Yeah? Gonna actually let me come then instead of teasing me for ages?”
Nico only grinned back. “Now, now, I didn’t say that.”
You snorted at the way Jack let out a heavy, wistful sigh. “It was worth a shot.”
“We’ll take care of you,” you assured the boy, smiling a little when you felt his abs softly clench under where your palm was resting on his stomach. “We always do.”
Jack swallowed, trying to resist the urge to push up into your touch. “Bit early for the dirty talk, babe, the camera isn’t even on yet.”
“Maybe I want to enjoy you like this for myself first,” you retorted, something almost mischievous glinting in your eyes as you leaned down to press a chaste kiss on the centre of his chest. “You are ours.”
“Fuck,” Jack whispered under his breath, his eyes fluttering shut as you continued to kiss along his skin. He could already imagine the marks left behind from your red lipstick.
“Don’t tease him too much,” Nico spoke up, his voice a little lower as he watched the sight in front of him. “He’ll give in too quickly.”
Jack let out a shaky breath, blinking his eyes back open to look at Nico. “Thought you liked it when I begged.”
Nico’s grin was wolfish. “I like it better when I work for it, when I have you babbling for my cock.”
“Fuck, baby,” Jack whined, squirming against the sheets. “Turn the camera on. Turn it on right now or I swear to god—”
“Patience,” Nico told him, leaning down to give him a lingering kiss on his lips. “Gonna be good for us?”
Jack nodded.
“Good,” Nico smiled, giving him another kiss to muffle the whine he let out as Nico gave his hair a sharp tug. “Just lay there and look pretty for us, let us do the work.”
“Consider it an early Christmas present,” you added, your palm already resting heavy on the bulge in his boxers.
.
#cece's stocking stuffers#nicojack#nico hischier#jack hughes#nhl#new jersey devils#nico hischier x reader#nico hischier x you#nico hischier x y/n#nico hischier fic#nico hischier one shot#nico hischier smut#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes x you#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes fic#jack hughes one shot#jack hughes smut
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I’m begging, as a Christmas gift, we need another part of Lost in time? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Maybe 95 James with mullet (I swear he did had a freaking breeding kink then) or beefy Reload James? Having a competition with current James on who can fill the reader’s 🐱 more???
A/n: I have so not felt like writing so this might be absolute booty cheeks but it isn’t that last part to this series >:)
Warnings: smut, breeding kink, double penetration, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!
Part 1 Part 2
Your arms wrapped around your silver headed boyfriend, chin resting on his shoulder while his arms reached around you to grab handfuls of your ass.
The other man behind you moved faster, hips snapping into yours. He had one arm around your chest, grabbing at your tits while the other rubbed your clit. It was a quick and harsh movement, not unpleasant.
“Fast and hard isn’t all you plan on, is it?” James grunted, hips moving in smooth rotations.
The other shot him a look. “She likes it, doesn’t she?” With a particularly sharp thrust of his hip the younger his your sweet spot and you gasped. “She likes it.” He mused, leaning down to kiss your neck.
The older rolled his eyes and swatted his hand from your clit. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I got you.” James said, smiling down at you as he moved his hand to your clit, his fingers matching the pace of his cock buried deep inside you; slow and deep.
Your head fell back onto the youngers shoulder, he used it as an opportunity to kiss over your face wherever he could reach. “That’s it, fuck, you’re doing so good, so, so good for me.” He groaned, nipping at your ear. “Gonna fill you to the brim, sweetheart.” Your breath hitched.
A grin spread over the older man’s face. “How’s that sound, princess?” He asked, lifting your head up. “You wanna be nice and pregnant, don’t you?” Your eyes widened, walls fluttering around the two, pulling groans from them.
“Can’t-can’t be doing that.” The mullet headed James grunted out.
“Gonna milk us, sweetheart.” The older added, leaning down to your neck. He continued to rub your clit, moving faster as he felt you getting closer.
Their dicks rubbed against each other, adding friction to their own pressure. Their tips hit deep in you at different paces, sending your mind into a frenzy.
The youngers hands gripped your hips, pulling you down on him as he got closer to the finish line. “Fuck, doing so good me, sweetheart, just- fuck!” His hips sputtered, cum spilling out into you, his abdomen tightening every few seconds as more spilled out.
He stayed still for a moment, arms wrapping around you tighter. “Think that’s one for me, and none for you.”
The older rolled his eyes. He hooked his arms under your thighs, lifting you up and holding you to him as he fucked you, veins dragging against your gummy walls. His eyes were glued to where you kept sucking him in, where his cock disappeared into you over and over.
The strings in the knot in your stomach pulled and tightened until they snapped and you came around him. He followed shortly behind, filling you more than you already were.
He set you down slowly, brushing some hair out of your face. “You’re not done yet, sweetheart, just take a breather.”
You looked between the two men hovering over you, clit already aching for more. You smiled tiredly up at them.
The younger wrapped his arms around you, moving you to lay in front of him. He bottomed out in you in a quick thrust, hitting your sweet spot perfectly. “Gonna get you pregnant with my kid.” He stated.
The older chuckled over him, hand wrapped around his cock, stroking himself slowly. “Either way it’s your kid.”
“You’re shooting saw dust, it’s gonna be mine.” The younger said, running his hand over your stomach, pushing down on it.
James didn’t like that, his expression falling and a darkness taking over his eyes. “You think you’ll make it to your sixties and be shooting sawdust?” He asked, glaring at his younger self. It made the younger pause and he never responded, instead thrusting his hips into you over and over.
“Gonna be my baby, gonna be pregnant with my kid, my belly.” He grumbled, hands holding you hips.
#metallica imagines#metallica rp#metallica x reader#metallica smut#metallica fanfiction#80s metal#metallica#metal#james hetfield x you#james hetfield fluff#james hetfield smut#james hetfield x reader#james hetfield fanfiction#james hetfield
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ncaa recap: uconn vs. usc
first of all: what a way to lose a completely winnable game. WHAT a thing to do. truly!!! i applaud it. i’m SHOCKED at it, really - bc no way you wanna lose every fucking top 10 matchup y’all have. there’s just no way!!!
and now i have to do the thing i have been dreading all season, bc i have such immense respect for this man.
geno. what. the fuck. are you. doing.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING BRO????????????
what’s the game plan?? HUH???? no matter what happens, it’s paige’s fault??? the best player in the fucking country stayed an extra year to play for you, and THIS is how you do her???
quit playing her off ball bro PLEASE matter of fact she can’t play off ball. yup! CAN’T do it. every single one of her numbers but efficiency is down from last season, so i can conclude that you need to stop playing that bitch off ball.
put the ball in paige’s fucking hands luigi or i swear to god i will shove it up your ass. you have the most CREATIVE, TALENTED, INTELLIGENT scoring pg in the country and you’re playing her OFF BALL???? WHAT THE SHIT?????
and paige bro. we don’t get to pick and choose when we wanna play basketball. you don’t get to ONLY show up the second half. and MAN was that a fucking monster second half. like my legs are still shaking from it jesus fucking christ. but when we do THAT SHIT!!! right???? when we DON’T PLAY THE FULL 40???
it comes down to a freshman and her free throws. sarah strong, you are a perfect angel. you did NOTHING wrong. the play was all wrong, it shouldn’t have come down to you, i am so so sorry it did. sarah has been so unbelievably consistent, and i just KNOW she’s blaming herself for it.
what’s the reasoning behind these last few possessions. like what the fuck is up bro. why are we going for the 2 when we’re down 3. why are we fouling with no fouls left to give. if you’re gonna do that shit take the 3!!! close the gap completely. why are we willing to widen the possession margin??? i understand the technicality of the strategy here, and it might be the smartest thing possible in ANOTHER situation.
in MY mind tho: take the 3, tie the game. get a stop on the other end, set a decoy, have paige or ash take the 3. or send jana down low for a 2. but it was so obviously a matter of geno not trusting the defense. which is NUTS - because this is one of the strongest defenses in the country. and it wouldn’t have been a perimeter job. probably not!! probably would’ve been a juju middy or kiki down low!! REALISTICALLY!!!
i just, like… those last few CRUCIAL possessions were really muddled and it pissed me tf off. like actually made me so fucking mad.
anyway bro’s yapping again - bc if kk is a game changer, keep her in the fuckin game dawg. idk just a thought.
SIT ice, START jana, and SHUT THE FUCK UP ‼️‼️‼️ hm i wonder who will be a better match for the best power forward in the nation - the 6’5 paint beast, or the big who’s been showing you she lowk CANNOT PLAY BASKETBALL
anyway i just wanna say - to anyone who thinks paige got outplayed this game, fuck all the way off. juju couldn’t even guard paige the whole game, while paige did not let up. if juju had a hard time scoring, it’s because paige was in her mouth the whole time. that’s a two way player. so i don’t wanna hear shit.
in conclusion: MANE FUCK THIS SHIT
#wbb#wcbb#uconn wbb#uconn#uconn huskies#paige bueckers#sarah strong#usc trojans#juju watkins#ncaa recap by mina
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𐙚𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑘𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠
♡smut – b.e x fem!reader
A/N: I came up with this randomly while I was out, but i hope you all enjoyy😚
Edit: Should I make a taglist... I will, but only if you guys would want me to 🙂
"Billie.. you can't be serious, " you giggled, nudging her shoulder, slightly shoving her away from you. She grabbed onto your waist, pushing you back against the professors desk. Your heart raced at her touch and the mischievous glint in her eyes. "What? Come onnn, you know you want to." She said. Her bottom lip tucked between her teeth.
You two were reckless. Mostly billie who had a heavy influence on you. But you were just two college girls making the most of what it was like to be young and dumb. Emphasis on the dumb.
The classroom was empty, safe for you and Billie. The soft glow of the setting sun filtered through the blinds, casting long shadows across the desks and blackboard. It was the perfect opportunity for you and your girlfriend to have a lesson of your own.
"We really shouldn't be doing this here," you whispered, even as your body arched into hers.
"Nobody will catch us.. It's the end of the day. Everyone's gone home." She said with the intent of persuading you. And of course, like every other time. You complied.
Grabbing onto her collar, you pulled her impossibly closer to you, glaring directly into her icy blue eyes. "Okay. But I swear Billie.. if we get caught-" She just chuckled and shrugged her shoulders. "No promises, sweetheart." And without another second to spair, her lips were connected with yours. Kissing like there was no tomorrow. Ravishing eachother. Tongues fighting for dominance.
Billie purred, the sound low and seductive. The vibrations run through your body. Straight to your core. Causing your knees to buckle and instantly granting Billie dominance.
Billie pulls back, a single string of saliva connected to your lips. "No one's around. It's just you and me." Her hands slid lower, teasing along the hem of your jeans. "This is so bad." You breath, rolling your eyes. "But so fun?" A sly smirk creeped across her face.
She lifted you up, placing you on the professors desk as random trinkets rolled off the desk and fell onto the floor. "You're unbelievable." You scoffed. "You love it."
Billie stepped back for a moment, drinking in the sight of you. Her eyes were full of dark lust, her chest heaving with each breath. "Fuck, you're gorgeous," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She reached for the hem of her own shirt, pulling it over her head and tossing it aside.
Your breath caught in your throat. Mesmerized by her toned body, your eyes lingering on her pert breasts. She smirked at your obvious appreciation. "See something you like?" You nodded your head, your gaze still stuck on the curves that sculptured her body perfectly. She was gods perfection.
"Your turn." She walked back over to you, grabbing at the hem of your own shirt and yanking it over your head. Doing the same as she did with hers and tossing it aside. "Just beautiful."
The air was thick with anticipation as Billie's hands roamed over your hips, her touch electric against your skin. Sending shockwaves of lust and desire through every skin to skin contact.
You moaned. Her teeth nipping and her tongue tracing patterns at the skin of your neck. "15 minutes Billie." She smirked against your neck, bringing her head up. Billies eyes piercing through your skin.
She snaked her hand down to the buckle of your jeans. Unclasping them as she slid them down your thighs, but not completely taking them off. Just leaving enough room to take care of the mess between your legs.
"Only 15..?" You nodded your head. Your back arching and arms instantly wrapping around her neck as she pressed a finger against your seeping cunt.
"I can make it work."
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Notes: Thankfully, this one didn't delete 🥲 and a special thanks to @tan1shere for helping me out 🙂↕️
𐙚Masterlist
#billie eilish#imagine#billie eilish fanfiction#fanfiction#billie eilish fic#billie eilish imagine#fic#billie eilish x fem!reader#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish smut#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x female reader#billie eilish x you#x you#x reader#fem!reader#billie eilish oneshot#oneshot#wlw post#wlw smut#wlw#blurb#billie eilish hmhas#hmhas#hmhas tour#hmhas billie eilish
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Snowball Fight
Paring: Avenger!Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader (Grumpy x Sunshine)
Summary: Your first winter with the team and you woke up to snow falling outside. You manage to appeal to some of the team (beg) to have a snowball fight. But when you throw a snowball at Bucky, he abandons the rules of the game.
Word Count: Roughly 1.1k
Warnings: Fluff, maybe two swear words, teasing, playful physicality (mentions of choking, but no choking), manhandling
Author’s Note: Merry Christmas Eve
Divider by @strangergraphics
From @buck-star Fluffy Winter Event
December rolled around faster than you had expected. By now, although you complained, you have fallen into the routine of waking up early and going training. But to your surprise, when you woke up, it was 11 o’clock. You looked out your window to find the outside of the compound covered in snow. You made a beeline downstairs and managed to coax a few members of the team into a good, old-fashioned snowball fight. After lunch, you bundled up and rushed outside, eager to start and kick some butt.
“Alright,” Sam said, his breath visible in the air. “We’ve got teams set. Clint, Wanda, and you on one side.” Sam shot you a grin and you adjusted your gloves. “Steve, Bucky, and me on the other.”
“You’re going down, Wilson,” you said, barely holding back your excitement. “This is my turf now.”
Bucky, standing on the opposite team with his arms crossed, shooting you a half-hearted glare. He had that look, like he was only here because Steve asked him to be.
“Just don’t whine when I knock you out of the game,” you teased, taking a handful of snow and molding it into a perfect snowball.
Then, the snowball fight began.
Clint immediately fired a snowball at Sam, while Wanda conjured up several smaller snowballs in the air, launching them with deadly accuracy. You ducked behind a pile of snow, peering around it to assess your next move.
And then, you saw Bucky. He was standing there, clearly not engaged.
Big mistake.
He was your favorite target, and you couldn’t resist. The former solider was in for a fun surprise. You giggled to yourself as you made a snowball, aimed, and with a satisfying thwack, it hit him square in the chest.
Wanda and Clint started laughing.
Steve and Sam gave each other a knowing look.
Bucky did not find the same humor in the situation. In fact, he looked like he wanted to choke you.
Bucky’s expression darkened as he brushed the snow off, his jaw tightening. His eyes narrowed into slits as they met yours.
“You did not just do that, sweetheart” he growled, his voice low and dangerous.
You didn’t even flinch. In fact, you grinned. “Oh, I did. And it was a perfect shot. You’re welcome.”
“Your little ass is in trouble now.” Bucky started walking out from his team’s side of the yard. His eyes locked onto you, like a predator ready to devour their prey. Your face flushed red, but not from the cold.
“Oh, shit,” you muttered, realizing he wasn’t going to show you mercy this time.
You started to run away, but a few giggles slipped past your lips.
“You better run, sunshine!” Bucky called after you.
You sprinted toward the trees. As you glanced behind you, you realized Bucky was closing in fast.
You tried to zigzag through the trees, but he followed you with scarily accurate precision. You were smart, fast even, but you were no match for Bucky Barnes.
“We can talk this out, we’re both reasonable adults.” You smiled up at him, trying your best to reason with him.
He chuckled darkly as you moved towards you and your back hit the tree.
“I am too young to die!” you screamed, although you knew there was no danger. Bucky was a big softie for you.
“You gotta learn, sunshine.” Without warning, he scooped you up in his arms and threw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. You let out a squeak and you slapped your hand against his back.
“Bucky!” you yelped, laughing in disbelief. “You’re such a cheater! Manhandling is not included in snowball fights!”
“Fuck the rules, sunshine,” he grumbled. “You should’ve thought of that before you hit me with that snowball.”
You huffed, giving into the inevitable and went limp in his arms.
He marched right up to the snowbank and dumped you into it. You landed with a soft thud and you scrambled to sit up, a small pout on your lips
“Oh, come on!” you laughed, brushing snow off your coat. “This is how you’re gonna play it? Throwing me in the snow?”
Bucky stood over you, arms crossed, a cocky smirk tugging at his lips. “You started this, not me.”
You shot him a look from beneath your tangled hair, puffing out a breath in frustration. “I made a perfect shot! It was nothing personal.”
His expression softened slightly, but only for a second. “You are impossible.”
You stood up, brushing yourself off. "Oh, I’m impossible, huh? You’re the one who lost, Bucky."
Bucky laughed in amusement at your smart mouth. “I think you’re forgetting who’s really in charge here, sweetheart. Maybe you need some discipline, hm?”
You grabbed his arm and tugged with all your might and the two of you tumbled backward into the snow.
“I’ll teach you some respect,” Bucky muttered, his hands suddenly pinning yours into the snow, the weight of his body pressing down on you. “You think you can get away with anything you do, you little troublemaker?”
“Yup,” you smiled, looking up at him. “Because I know you won’t hurt me.”
Bucky glared down at you, though the flicker of amusement in his eyes didn’t escape you. “You are lucky you’re cute, sunshine.”
You shivered suddenly, the cold biting harder now that the fun had gone on long enough. You tried to hide it, but Bucky noticed immediately. His expression softened in an instant.
“You’re freezing,” he muttered, glancing down at you with something softer in his eyes.
Before you could even respond, Bucky moved, lifting you effortlessly into his arms, guiding your hand around his neck.
“Bucky, what-” you started, but he just shook his head, his face still serious despite the small hint of concern there.
“I’m taking you inside,” he said, already walking toward the compound. “You’re not getting any warmer in this cold.”
You leaned your head against his shoulder, a small, content smile tugging at your lips despite yourself. “I’m not a baby, you know,” you teased, but the warmth of his embrace was undeniable.
As Bucky carried you inside, you could hear Sam and Steve laughing.
“In all the decades I’ve known him, I’ve never seen Bucky so whipped,” Steve said, shaking his head, a grin plastered across his face. “She’s got him wrapped around her little finger.”
Sam chuckled. “Yup, Bucky’s definitely in deep. I think she might be in charge here.”
You could hear Bucky mutter something under his breath as he pushed through the door open, but he didn’t correct them. He didn’t need to. Everyone could see it. The tough, grumpy soldier had met his match in you.
You readjusted yourself in his arms, snuggling closer. Your nose brushes against the side of his neck and you catch a whiff of his cologne that makes you want to drown in his scent.
It’s starting out to be the best holiday season.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! I hope to get out another one shot tonight and tomorrow. They might be much shorter though, but fingers crossed :)
Much love x
- Maeve
#sydneysfluffywinter#fluff star winter event#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#chrismas#christmas fic#christmas fluff#grumpy x sunshine
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✦ BIRTHDAY PRINCESS
✦ one shot ,, michael kaiser x gn!reader
✦ content:: coming back from an overseas match, kaiser didn't expect to find you literally slide towards him to greet him for his birthday
fluff/crack, 1580 words
additional:: reader has ZERO shame, affectionate asf reader, slight suggestive joke but it's so corny we js ignore it, loving kaiser so hard he almost freaks out but the keyword is almost, author did not know what she was doing, semi-rushed ending but that's because author wanted to clutch this for his birthday, swearing warning though I believe people are already used to that
You had a card up your sleeve.
No, seriously. You had a card up your sleeve at the moment. Not a playing card, though. It was a birthday card. For who? Your not-so-lovely boyfriend: Michael Kaiser. Well, now that you think of it, you did have another card up your sleeve. You planned to be a little devious. Just a little. You swear you won't be a public nuisance by doing this.
It's December 24th, a few minutes before midnight. You were in a private lobby of an airport, equipped with a portable speaker and a semi-charged phone, waiting for Kaiser— who was returning from an overseas match— just so you could drive him back home and make him your passenger prince, as a sign of affection, of course.
You kept looking around, staring at the signs that showed flights, waiting for his flight's status to turn to ‘arrived’. It's been a good few hours of waiting, already. You swore you got here right when the sun finished setting. This shit is taking forever. Then again, it was the holidays, so it's to be expected that places like the airport were bustling with people and fully booked flights, which might be the cause of delays.
Right as you thought you might crash out from waiting, they finally announced the planet's arrival. You ascended in joy, proceeding to basically cheer to the heavens above inwardly. You burnt holes into the door of the lobby with just your gaze, going back to your plan of totally not embarrassing both of you in front of the team.
The entrance handle twisted, and the door opened. You see the iconic blond and blue locks as he walks through, and you're filled with familiarity. On cue, you press the play button on your phone, making his eyes snap to you as the audio plays obnoxiously loud through the room.
You catch a brief glimpse of a judgemental expression on Kaiser's face. He barely had any time to ask you what in the actual hell you were doing, before you were already sliding to him on your knees, in sync with the lyrics from the song that blasted from the speakers connected to your phone
“THERE GOES MY BABYYYY.”
“What the fuck–?” his curse was cut off by you making contact with him. He was utterly flabbergasted, and you were just calmly latching onto his torso, just like the clip of this trend you were referencing. Kaiser suddenly grows aware of what was going on, as well as his surroundings, and he suddenly felt like hissing and thrashing away from you like an angry cat that did not want to be picked up.
You were not letting go, though.
With your arms wrapped around his waist, you were completely content with staying like that beside him. He was comfortable to hold, anyway.
Yes, you were just completely ignoring the way he was attempting to peel you off of him like you were some disgusting tick that clung to him. You could tell some of his teammates in the room were staring at you two, too, but you could care less. Hey! At least you didn't do this in public public, right?
You acquired a minor bruise on your side because of that little stunt.
Kaiser accidentally kicked you while trying to shake you off of him. But you could say it was worth it. You wanted to try the trend on him, but he didn't agree like the killjoy he was, saying that ‘he wasn't gonna entertain any of your fantasies about being able to hold him like that, even though that desperate display might be amusing.’ This was the only opportunity you could think of. You definitely had no other choice, so fuck it, you went ball and did it.
Now, he was staring at you— practically scolding you silently. You smiled it off because you were just a chill guy. “I have another card up my sleeve,” you remarked. That sentence alone had him debating whether to question how he was into you or to play along. Kaiser decided to do both, with the former being to himself, and the latter being what he did to you.
“Don't you dare pull some weird shit,” he muttered under his breath, sounding a bit exasperated, before sighing and replying more forwardly. “And that is?” Kaiser prompted, waiting for you to reveal whatever you wanted to show him now. He watches you reach into your sleeve, pulling out an actual card. You took his hand, planting the parchment into his palm— facing down— before retracting your arms, wearing an innocent smile in your face that just screamed mischief.
He looked back and forth between you and the letter in his hands, like you just handed him a ticking bomb. “It's a card for you. Open it,” you urged, and Kaiser could notice how enthusiastic you were, eager to see him read whatever was written. He hesitantly turned his gaze back down at it, unfolding and reading it, purposefully not out loud because he just knows it’s some bizzare freak.
Happy Birth ay!
I’ll give you the d later. ;)
These words were bolded. Kaiser’s eyes went back to you— still smiling with faux innocence— and stared at you disapprovingly, as if you were some abnormality. “...What the fuck?” he asks, making you grin wider in your successful tomfoolery. It was too late for this— or rather, too early. It's already 12 in the morning.
“Isn’t it amazing?” you comment, being met with the card being thrown to you, lightly making contact with your face. You gasped in overdramatic offence, easily catching the piece of paper. “Wow, you have no taste in absolute art,” you remark, leading to Kaiser sneering at you.
“I do. You're the one who doesn't,” he replied, heading away from you and to the exit of the airport, acting like he doesn't know you once passing by a more crowded area. He wasn't gonna associate with your weirdness.
You went after him with the straightest face you could muster. You were nonchalant like that.
Going to his car, he raised an eyebrow when you led him towards the side where the passenger seat was. He was skeptical about you driving. Who can blame him? He rarely sees you drive, plus it's late at night— though he figures you were less tired than him for still being this energetic. He can trust you with not crashing the car this one time, maybe.
You opened the door for him, really putting in effort into making sure he had full service. Inside the vehicle, the first thing he sees is a bouquet of blue roses on the seat. Then, he notices the little crocheted dog plushie beside it. He turns to look at you, a smirk etching on his face, but you could tell it almost resembled a genuine smile. “You've outdone yourself, huh? I'll give you an A for actually pulling this off.”
“How generous of you,” you say in return, gently closing the car door after him. Once you were in the car, yourself, you started the engine, doing all the necessary safety shit like buckling in your seatbelt and whatnot.
When you turned over to where Kaiser was, he was staring at you. Not in the cute affectionate way, more like he was observing you. “Don’t crash,” he instructs after a short, silent staring contest. You simply smile innocently in return— you've been doing that a lot for a while now— and look back to the steering wheel, putting your hand on it and stepping on the pedal.
How fortunate. You can actually drive decently. Enough to bring you two safely from one point to another.
The plush and flowers were placed on his lap, and he found himself fiddling with the blue petals. Usually, he hates surprises. As well as presents. But coming from you, he supposes it's an exception. It might even be endearing. But perhaps that was just his personal bias due to being your boyfriend.
Kaiser leans on the car window, feeling the cool glass against his skin. You could almost feel those azure eyes watching you while you navigate through the streets, but you kept your own on the road. You could see how his gaze is almost soft, and how the mask of confidence and self-assurance he refused to not wear around others wasn't plastered on his face. You could tell that it was a sight that only you had the privilege of seeing.
It was nice to see him be like this— genuine without hiding behind a constructed facade. It might be cheesy, but you’d forever cherish the way he willingly lets his guard down around you. You could say that that's one of the reasons you like to do things for him.
And to him, having you— someone he found himself genuinely trusting— around was alike to having found a solace. Like a place of refuge. Whenever it was just you and him, he didn't have to be Kaiser: the German prodigy, a football star. He could just be Michael.
Plus, though he might never admit it to you nor himself, he's found himself starting to like the way you give him affection. He's been deprived of it for too long, and you're willing and ready to give it to him with warmth.
Maybe he could get used to gifts— especially when it's coming from you.
(a/n):: I can't do this I love him sm ANW happy birthday Kaiser ml my pretty wife <33 and Merry Christmas to those who celebrate!!
taglist: @shrii-kk, @tired-xyra-urstruly, @fishii28, @yui2aku
@lakeside-paradise
© fumiscripts 2024. don't steal, repost, translate or modify my works without my permission.
#✦ written in ink.#✦ featuring: michael kaiser#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#bllk x you#blue lock fanfic#bllk fanfic#kaiser michael#michael kaiser bllk#kaiser x reader#blue lock michael kaiser#bllk kaiser#blue lock kaiser#michael kaiser#kaiser michael x reader#michael kaiser x reader#michael kaiser blue lock#bllk michael kaiser#michael kaiser x you#kaiser michael x you#bllk#blue lock#bllk oneshot#oneshot#kaiser oneshot#blue lock oneshots#kaiser fluff#bllk fluff#blue lock fluff#writers on tumblr
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I think whoever wrote the responses to Wyll actually fucking hated him with a burning passion because he'll say "I will be severely punished come nightfall" and all of the responses are "GOOD you deserve it and also I hope your dad hates you and also? I hope you never get laid ever again and you're in a permanent state of worry" after he's been nothing but nice to you.
Every conversation is like
"My father and I... we really didn't have a good relationship. When I was young, I tried so hard to live up to the expectations he set for me. But in the end, it wasn't enough. ...I wasn't enough. He abandoned me when I took on a devilish patron to save the city he so cherished."
1) GOOD.
2) Lol. Skill issue.
3) Kill yourself.
"I've caused every illness in the world I think actually, when I only saved 79 out of the 80 children in need."
1) Yeah. You definitely did.
2) That child suffered because of you. What was one more child saved? Come on. You could've saved ONE more child.
3) You monster. How could you abandon that child?
"I think I deserve everything coming to me.... I try to do everything right but it's never enough. Even my father didn't think I was a child worth loving. But I suppose that's what happens, when you live a life like mine. If my pain is what is needed to relieve others, I will serve without complaint, I swear on my heart and soul."
NO FUCKING RESPONSES AVAILABLE. Why can't I comfort him when he talks to me? Anytime he says something sad, you can either make fun of him, brush him off, or wish eternal suffering on his bloodline. Or when he's like "I deserve all this pain" you just have to say "Onto other matters." or LEAVE. And he so sweetly goes "Understood. These matters are a bit... difficult to hear about. I'm so sorry I burdened you with my history." AHHHHHH
Or when he says something like
"When I was young, the frontiers called and forced me into a line of duty. I'd have it no other way, I live to serve the people and protect the weak." and the responses are
1) Lol nerd.
2) [Durge] I bet I can kill them faster than you can save them
3) I bet the children cry when they see your horrible face.
4) You are so fucking cringe. Did you know that? You talk like a damn book. Get a fucking life.
#im joking ofc#but also what the hell#whoever wrote the dialogue responses HATED him#teasing ofc#ish#and also the fact that his lines don't change when romanced or nothing#despite theo even talking about how wyll's romance is his fav part of wyll#so im positive theo would've been down for a romanced greeting lmao#wyll deserves better#justice for wyll#bg3#wyll ravengard#princess ravengard
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Does anyone want to see a very specific part of the internet? Context is this guy next to me went to put on music and loudly exclaimed “Oh what the fuck!” He disavows any knowledge of why his YouTube algorithm did this.
#you’re never going to guess where this is going#no one in the room had ever seen anything of this genre#I swear to fuck we did not set this up and this is not a bit#I am sharing a genuine moment with you#this man’s watch history was immediately opened and none of us can figure out where this came from#He allowed me to take a pic as long as it was cropped too close for any other details to be seen.
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I wanna know ur Fontaine msq criticisms 👁️👁️👂I’m all ears
I'm not sure if you wanted me to talk about this secretly or publicly but! Here I go!
The TLDR: Fontaine MSQ aestheticised prison, poverty, child abuse, the justice system/court and didn't properly address any of it.
More:
Focalors/Furina has way too much of a sympathetic angle for a dictator who's lets people drown with her inaction.
Neuvillette feels Bad for sentencing some people to death/prison, but that's it. He's one of the most powerful people in Fontaine. If he felt like there are systemic injustices, I.E sending an abused Child to prison, he should be the first person to DO something about it, not just cry and be sad so the audience can be like aw, that's complex character writing isn't it? No it's not! And guilt doesn't absolve you!!!!!!! (These are stuff we deal with in OTCOJ read my fic now /j)
Meropide has children in it, both Sentenced there (Wriothesley) and BORN THERE (Lanoire), and this is just a quirk of the place. Not only that, Meropide accepts prisoners of all genders and crimes. There are abusers and abuse victims in one place. Do you know how bad that is? How much potential for crimes to happen in a place like that— oh wait, Meropide isn't under Fontaine's jurisdiction. If you are assaulted as an inmate it literally means nothing to the court.
Wriothesley had no qualifications when he took over. Depending on how long he lived on the streets, how old he was when he killed his parents, how old he was when he was first taken in by the orphanage, etc, the man might never have more than 4–5 years of formal education. Sigewinne probably had to teach him how to write reports. And do Meropide's spreadsheets. Edit because I forgot to elaborate on this one: This isn't a point brought up anywhere, which is bad, because when poverty and incarceration robs you of a proper education (and the rights to vote in many places too, too, by the way), it reduces your prospects for jobs, reduces many people's ability to get a home etc etc. Wriothesley was just, narratively, Given his position.
Meropide is an industrialized prison, and they portray this as a good thing. Prisoners are paid in coupons for their labour, and this is also portrayed as a good thing.
The One-Meal-A-Day reform was something Paimon gushed about being so great of a perk, that people might want to go to jail for food (could be interesting and reflective of systemic poverty if MHY had brains, but they don't, so I was just Pissed because essentially all Paimon wanted to say was "Prison isn't so bad, but still don't go to prison guys! Prison labour is really hard!"). By the way, in most real-world prisons they are obligated to feed you three meals a day. Because that's how much food a human needs. MHY went with one meal just so they can say "if you want to eat more, you have to work." And then the welfare meal is a goddamn gacha. So imagine you're a starving child who's too weak to work in the fucking robot assembly line, and you wander up for your first meal in 24 hours, only to luck in with a shit one. I'd kill myself.
They wrote Wriothesley, who's a victim of the system, into a guy who's say shit like "I'm the Duke I can do whatever I want" for a cool moment where he choke-slams an inmate (I know he was a bad guy. But also, in copaganda when cops are violent/disregarding protocols, they are always only portrayed to do that against bad guys, so what does our critical thinking tells us about this one?) They wrote Wriothesley, who was an inmate of a prison so bad, so notorious that it is the literal boogeyman of Fontaine, that has a legal (???) fighting pit, with an administrator who abuses his position to be unreasonable, to willingly stay in the place and become an Administrator who would choke-slam an inmate while saying a cool line about how he has the power to do whatever he wants. They wrote him, the guy who had to be fed on the streets by melusines, to think one-meal-a-day was a good enough reform (while he spends god-knows how much on his boat). This wasn't a victim-turns-into-abuser narrative either, they want all this to be seen as positive character growth.
And then, the final kicker is, they gloss over his entire abuse. You can only read about these shit in his profile, which most people don't because they don't Have Him or doesn't care to unlock it/read it online, and they jammed his entire backstory into a flaccid info-dump at the end of his character story quest. This man isn't Allowed to feel abused and neglected and show any reaction to it within the narrative of Fontaine itself, because if they actually Gave Weight to what happened to him, they'd have to confront THE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM they had NO PLANS on criticising. I don't think they ever explicitly said the fucking Crime-Theatre nonsense was Bad either.
I could go on, but this is already so long. But yeah, I hope this gave you an idea.
#and then. and im putting my most controversial opinion in the tags bc im scared lmao. but like... then... you have the fans..... doing......#the same fucking thing.#the amount of times I have seen Wriothesley used as just a side prop for Neuvillette to feel bad about shit. While Wriothesley is just.....#portrayed as having the inner peace and acceptance of a fucking monk. I was shocked when I read some fics I swear#they really said this man has no trauma at all! the stuff in his past? he's over it!#i hate that passivity when writing victims. like ok if One is written like that#sure. but MHY write all their victims like this#I mean look at fucking Lanoire#and Neuvillette sentenced him to prison after he killed his parents who were never confronted by the law. That's canon.#that's more canon than WRLT itself.#why weren't they confronted? did wriothesley try to talk to someone about it? why did he feel like killing them is his only option ?????#at least have there be some sort of conflict and friction there. How does Wriothesley feel about the court and Neuvillette when#this is the literal system that allowed all that shit to happen to him in the first place???#are you Sure he won't be at least a little wary? the fact that some people think he's Grateful to Neuvillette or even idolises him is crazy#because the man literally subjected him to prison. and if you want to portray his prison life as easy breezy and trauma free#you undermine his entire shitty little 'prison reform' narrative#and if you think he'd be completely 100% accepting of the justice system. Then why the fuck would he kill his parents himself#don't you see that the whole 'I'll accept whatever sentence in order to kill my parents' thing in itself is an act of defying the system#and I Hate#this idea. about being some of the most powerful men in the nation. and yet they can't fucking TRY to set up a better system or smth#i can't believe I read a fic where leaving starving street kids croissants is the most they (the characters and the writer) want to do#like. what the fuck. the whole point of that scene is just to make neuvillette feel bad and be like aw......... poor people exist.... OK???#this is literally how MHY would portray him though.... tbf..... This is what ppl would argue as 'in character'#I just think the character they're in is bad.#I will say I'm giving the fic a lot of grief. there's more to the scene than that. and. ultimately.....#fanfic is (saying this through gritted teeth) ........ recreational....................and free........... in the end.................#i dont think this is reflective of the writer. I do think it is reflective of the way the canon material (genshin impact)#presents in the audience who consumes it. most fans only want these guys to fuck anyway. not think about systemic injustices#canon doesn't make it about the systemic injustices either so why should we. the aesthetic of slums and prisons are just there for fun guys#IM JUST CRAZY OK. I SHOULDNT EVEN BE HERE THIS IS NOT FOR ME . I DONT CARE THAT MUCH FOR PEOPLE FUCKING AND I CARE TOO MUCH
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Another highlight from dnd last night
Tfw ur at 14 hp and get hit for 5 damage. And u try to update ur hp to 9, but accidentally just make ur hp 194. Whoops! Let me just take that back down- WHOOPS! I "lost" 185 hp, so the blood mechanic thinks I took a MASSIVE amount of damage. Whoops! I have bled all over the map.
#speculation nation#blood/#fang#d&d#everyone was just like 'oh GOD what the fuck did you DO'#we had to clear the blood from the map bc we just couldnt fucking see Shit#it's hilarious but also interesting bc u can rly see fang's weird blood. we have it set so it's darker than normal blood#anyways yea this is from where i picked up our unconscious buddy and was trying to run off the map#bc we were in an infinite spawn situation with these bog zombies. but Whoops i got grabbed lol#i actually didnt completely suck ass last session. unlike the session before.#i still didnt manage to hit anything but i managed to grab this dude and go Running.#i was shifted so i had advantage on strength checks (homebrew shifting feature bc i Never used the claw attacks lmao)#managed to quickened spell heal myself which thank god i did bc i took 10 damage next turn#so i wouldve gone down had i not healed myself#i Love being a multiclass bard ❤#bard sorcerer so i can actually fucking use bonus actions sometimes. via quickened spells or bardic inspiration#wizards dont have Shit for bonus actions usually. i like being able to do more shit.#anyways yea. i was still a total punching bag. took like half the hits in this fight i swear#but i managed to keep myself up And grab our buddy so he wasnt left behind. and that's what matters ❤
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bad dating stories time: the shoe incident
so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.
at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.
he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?
and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.
but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.
i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?
(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)
and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.
i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.
that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.
i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.
anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.
i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.
we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.
he was okay at it.
eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.
soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.
realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:
"i can't get pregnant"
which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.
still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"
and then i was in my car, and i drove away.
if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.
and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.
WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.
we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.
do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.
and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.
then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.
and then they started making out.
i was close enough to hear it.
i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.
so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.
now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.
so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.
about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.
my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.
my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.
they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?
and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.
#dating stories#anecdotes#long post#funny story#babylon#im really bad at dating#like i can do a lot better than this but also it just was kind of a nightmare for me#shit like this did make the whole thing easier tho#like#every date after this i could go you know ive seen how bad it can get#and i lived#didnt even get shot#writing
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can people please stop filming the entire fucking world around them for public consumption? and especially random fucking strangers who you did not ask???
I work at a park and man the front desk. and I'm photographed and filmed a lot. I'm talking easily 20+ times per day. most of the times, it's parents filming me swearing in their kids as junior rangers. which. they're intending to film their kids. what they get is me and the back of their kids' heads.
there's this recurring problem that like. people forget we're real people? like yeah you're filming your kid, but you're filming me interacting with your kid. I could count the amount of times someone has asked me permission to do this in the past year on one hand. and sometimes that's after they already start filming.
Like, I'm not an actor. I did not agree to this. You could be a dick and make the argument that I'm a public figure, but I'm not. This is not a persona and my uniform is not a costume. I'm a person trying to do my job and help people and teach them about science and history. And you know what makes it harder to do that? The knowledge that anything I say or do could end up shared with thousands of people. The fact that if I fuck up the wording of this kid's junior ranger pledge, or I sneeze, or make some basic mistake, it's not just a funny or embarrassing moment for me and this one family. It could end up on tiktok.
And okay, those are the people intending to film their own kids and not thinking or caring about the collateral. What's worse is the people who film everything. A few times a week some guy walks into the visitor center, phone already horizontal in front of their face, narrating what they're doing and seeing. They come up to the desk and ask me questions, phone in my face. They take wide establishing shots of the visitor center and every visitor in it. None of us agreed to this! None of these people consented to be in your youtube video! We are not the fucking set dressing of whatever travel instagram story you're making!
I don't know where I'm going with this. This is really only the tip of the iceberg. Sometimes people ask us to repeat what we just did - swear in their kid, or explain a detail, or hand them a fucking map - so they can get a second take, and they're already filming so if we say no we look like the asshole. Sometimes we're asked innocuous things like to point out a landmark, and next week there's a photo of us in the 15,000 member Rangers Pointing at Things facebook group (yep, real thing). One time my entire 45 minute evening program was filmed without my permission and I was informed after the fact. This happens all the time, and I'm giving park ranger examples, but this happens to so many people in service work or public positions every single fucking day.
I guess just, next time you go to film in a public space, take a second. Think about who you're about to film, if they agreed to that, what might happen if a video of them went viral. there's a reason I'm not out as trans at work. And then, maybe. don't. or at least fucking ask.
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#this is a good one of these kinds of posts I swear#just wanna do a shoutout to my bestie even though I know he won’t see this#but I love him and feel like hyping him up anyway and don’t wanna make a whole actual post about it and annoy everyone#anyway yesterday I took my car in for an oil change and tune up thing and didn’t know how long it was gonna take so I set up a ride#with bestie back to my mom’s place if it was gonna be a while but then they said it’d only be like an hour and a half or so unless there was#actually something wrong with my car in which case we’d just discuss it and go from there. so bestie picks me up at the car place and I tell#him that and say he doesn’t have to stay and I can just wait there at the place if he’s busy but he says nah he gonna hang with me. asks if#I’m hungry and wanna get lunch and I hadn’t eaten yet so it worked out. went to the good Mexican place in town and order in their drive thru#I ask if he wants me to cash app him some money to cover my share and he very aggressively says ‘oh hell no’ which was honestly adorable and#really sweet. goes on to say ‘girl you know you don’t need to worry about money’ which is also super sweet and makes me feel all weird and#wiggly inside cause I’m not used to people being kind to me in that way or just buying me shit just because. and he’s always doing that kind#of stuff too just paying for my food or sending me money if I pick stuff up for us or whatever. dude got bucks at least good for him. but#yeah anyway so we got the food and then he went to a gas station to get us drinks then parked and ate and hung out with me until my car was#ready to go. even offered me money to cover the cost for the car if I needed anything major done and I could just pay him back little by#little. thankfully car is all good but his sentiment was well taken and much appreciated. gave me a big hug before we parted ways as he#usually does and bro gives the best hugs for real they’re so instantly comforting and you really feel the love they make me so happy. and he#even is gonna help me put together a new desk and chair at my house so I’ll have a place to do schoolwork at home and finally setup my tv in#my room. dude does so much for me and will then thank me just for hanging out with him as if I did anything special at all#this man deserves the whole fucking world and I’d do anything for him. love him so much#so ye that’s my hype post for my boy cause I just had to brag about him somewhere and get my feelings out#personal
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❝ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ❞
❝ SATORU GOJO IS THE HONORED ONE - AND HE'S MORE THAN HONORED TO BREED YOU ! ❞
✧ pairing: gojo satoru x sorcerer!reader
✧ summary: it's your duty as the wife of the clan head to help your husband get dressed -- even for battle. but that didn't mean he couldn't spend some time undressing you. aka fucking gojo in his shinjuku showdown outfit
✧ warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, canon compliant, feral gojo, Ijichi featured, dom!gojo, breeding kink, dirty talk, oral (f), fingering (f! receiving), sex (p in v), mirror sex, clothed sex, creampie, implied multiple rounds, multiple positions, swearing,
✧ w/c: 7,946
✧ now playing: feature one of sab's kinktober
“Perfect,”
The word slips from your lips without a second thought as you slip the haori over his shoulders, snow locks against the coal colored silk, slick as steel and light as a feather, yet carrying the heft of expense.
Just as your husband did.
Little words could describe Satoru Gojo — the most common being the strongest — unmatched strength that matched his flawless appearance and even more unsullied skill set. Curses would sooner exorcise themselves rather than face him, and those who didn’t, well, they did not have long to linger on their mistake.
But you didn’t think of him as the strongest. No, your husband was so much more than that. A teacher. A mentor. A friend. An idiot (but he would insist that he was your idiot, and he very much was). And he was perfect.
A remark you knew many would balk at, and even now — as you dressed your husband, at his insistence, fingers helping him pull the fabric over his body, before smoothing it over his muscle and the word fell from you without a second thought — you caught glimpse of a grimace on Ijichi’s face in the mirror.
“Ijichi, you should go before I slap the shit out of you for your expression,” Ijichi squeaks in horror before slipping from the room, quiet click of the door welcoming silence, only for a moment, “what was that again, sweetheart?”
You roll your eyes, “should I really indulge you in making your ego any bigger? You may defeat Sukuna with just the sheer size and weight of it,” you tease, fingers smoothing and adjusting his haori.
“Think that would be a victory either way, sweetheart,” his fingers find yours, weaving with your own — miraculously soft even with bearing the weight of the world in his hands alone, “but I don’t want to win in such a boring way, especially to Sukuna,”
“And why’s that?” His lips curl.
“Because I have to look cool in front of my precious students, don’t I?” you see a hint of sadness linger in his gaze — and you hear the unspoken words, especially Megumi, but the smile slides back on as usual, “I can’t have myself embarrassing myself can I? You’d never let me live it down,”
“Oh, no I wouldn’t,” your fingers slide up to cup his cheek, “but you’d expect nothing less from your wife, now would you?”
And he grins, just as he did the day he had proposed to you, at the classroom at Jujutsu Tech where you first met, deep reds and oranges flooding the wood paneled room, painting it as it only could in the evenings, but even the sun paled in comparison to Satoru on his knee, lips curled in your favorite smile — the very one he gave you every day.
“My wife,” he hums, and you have to stop yourself from biting your lip and tense your muscles so you didn’t jump him then and there.
“What about it?” he runs the back of his fingers over your cheek.
“Just glad I convinced you to let us get married early,” not that it took much convincing at all — only a single look after he was unsealed and several minutes of making out later, and he had gotten Ijichi to get the registration and paperwork for him — the very papers Satoru had prepared before Shibuya, “because now you’re stuck with me, wifey,”
You chuckle, your fingers finding his as they brushed your cheek, turning your head to kiss his fingers, “I’ve been stuck with you from the moment we met,”
And you had been — you hadn’t known peace since he had thrown that Jujutsu Tech classroom door open all those years ago, with a welcome party prepared for you and the other first years, microphone in hand as he introduced each of you. And it wasn’t his strength or his skill or even his stupidity that charmed you — but the goddamn smile on his lips.
Funny, how everyone was so preoccupied with his eyes, when every inch of his was just as captivating—
“Think you’re going to lose me now, Toru?” You rub your thumb across the length of his cheek, “don’t know if I could ever live without you,”
“Oh yeah?” he wraps his arms around your waist, his warm form enveloping you, “no regrets?”
“Only one,” and he tilts his head, blues gleaming with the low light of the room, catching like sunlight against waves, as your fingers traced down to the smooth silk of his clothes, “that we never got married in a formal ceremony,”
“If I recall, you were in just as much of a rush as me,” his lips graze your jaw, threads of heat slipping up and down every inch of your body, a kiss pressed to the soft skin behind your ear, “you barely wanted to even have the small ceremony we did,”
“That’s because someone kept touching me while I got ready,” and he did, as you changed into a dress you selected for the small ceremony — or rather you tried, as his warm palms slid up your body, his mouth covering your soft gasps and protests, “or do you forget that you nearly fucked me against the wall right outside the room we were going to marry?”
“It’s not my fault my wife is so tempting, they say my technique is deadly, but you yourself are far more dangerous,” he hummed, another kiss against your cheek, as his thumb and forefinger cups your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze in the mirror, “why the want a formal ceremony anyway? If I remember, you said formal ceremonies were only for the attendees rather than the couple,”
“Well, maybe I saw something that changed my mind,” or someone in something—
“Oh? And what could change my incredibly stubborn wife’s mind?”
You hate him — hate the teasing glint in his gaze because he knows exactly why, as he noses the hollow of your neck, lips grazing your flushed skin, “You know why,” and he does, he sees it in the way your gaze lingers across his body, the way you shiver when his palm slips down your hip only to squeeze, and in the soft sound that leaves your lips when his fingers trace down your chin to the valley of your chest.
“I’d like to hear you say it, sweetheart,” he presses himself flush to your back, heat seeping through the fabric, just as his breath warmed your skin, “don’t tell me you forgot how to use your words,”
“You’re the worst,” and his chuckle reverberates against you, sending a shiver up your body, his hands sliding down the front of your shirt until he reaches the hem, fingers toying with the fabric.
“And what does that make you since you married me?”
“A fool,” your lips curl, his eyes meeting yours, “but a very smart one,” and he clicks his tongue.
“So smart and yet she can’t answer a simple question,” you sigh, and his fingers, finally, slide underneath against your bare stomach.
“You just want me to stroke your ego,” and he grins at you in the mirror, robes nearly engulfing your form now.
“Oh, that’s not all I want you to stroke,” your snort is cut off by a gasp as his palms slide under your bra, “I’ll just keep teasing you until you break,” and his fingers tease your pert nipples, a wave of heat headed straight for your cunt, “and y’know I can, wifey.”
~~~
“Hngh, Toru, please—”
Satoru doesn’t know what he loves more — the sound of his name on your lips, desperation on your tongue, the same tongue that he had tasted again and again or the sight of you below him, spread out on his desk, papers and books long crumpled and pushed onto the floor — but he doesn’t need to choose a favorite thing when it comes to you.
Because every single thing is his favorite.
“If you want me to stop, you can try, sweetheart,” he presses a kiss to your thigh, teeth grazing the soft flesh, another mark blooming among the rest, a field of reds and purples he could spend hours exploring, “don’t know how far you’d get,”
His fingers press your thighs further apart, with the barest hint of strength, and you’re still utterly restrained under his touch — a lovely butterfly pinned for his viewing — and what a view it was.
“Fucker,” you pout at him half-heartedly, your kiss ruined lips and fucked out gaze doing nothing to help your case, “we were supposed to be getting you dressed for—“
“Then there’s no problem,” his fingers tug your blouse over your head, your bra askew from his eager fingers, and his hand reaches around to undo the clasp. But he doesn’t pull it away with his fingers, but instead bends down to away the intruding garment, “because you’re the only one getting undressed, sweets,”
There was something about the thought — and the sight — of you completely bare for him, at his mercy naked and vulnerable, while he stood clad in the clothes meant for battle. His cock twitched, he supposed this was a battle of kind — as he pushed his sleeves up — a battle of how many times he could cum inside you.
“Satoru—“ you squeal as he nearly rips away your panties, leaving you bare for him, your thighs closing on reflex, only for him to press them back apart, “fuck—“
“That’s what I’m trying to do, sweetheart,” he clicks his tongue, bringing your soaked panties to his nose to smell, before pocketing them, a grin on his lips, “a good luck charm,”
You gape at him, half horrified and half amused at the thought of the Gojo elders somehow finding out that the Gojo clan head’s clothes had been defiled by your underwear — though you were sure they expected nothing less from Satoru Gojo.
But even so, you can’t bring yourself to complain, “You don’t need luck to win,” and he scoffs lightly, his warm palm sliding up your thigh, lips pressing hot kisses up your shin, right to your knee, “you just need to know I’ll kick your ass if you don’t make it back in one piece to me,” your fingers run through his soft locks, before tracing over his cheek.
“I know, and the thought of you waiting for me is all I need,” he turns to your hand, lips pressing a kiss against the cool metal of your wedding ring, “and it wasn’t for that,” and he’s shifting, settling fully between your thighs, lips inches from your sopping pussy, “it’s for making sure I can breed you right,”
His fingers brush against your fluttering walls, index finger tracing the outer walls with the very tip, pulling and tugging until you were spread out completely, messy pussy on display just for him. You couldn’t squirm under his the wet squelch making your cheeks burn, “S-stop teasing, just—“
You moan as he sinks a thick finger into you, knuckle deep and fast, “So needy for someone who was whining a second ago about stopping,” it doesn’t take long for a second finger to join, stretching out your perfect pussy, warm walls pulling him deeper each time he pulled out, his wrist and palm drenched in your juices, “but y’know I can’t stop, wifey, it’s our duty, right? Duty to produce an heir, but more importantly,” And a third finger sinks inside, as he peers up at you, lips parted in a sweet moan that makes his cock throb, ready to bust without a single touch, because he doesn’t need touch — not when it’s you under him, “my duty to fuck and yours to be fucked,”
And your cunt squeezes his fingers at his vulgar words, a coil growing tighter in the pit of your stomach, heat building, as you can’t help moan his name, “and how will we fulfill our duty if I don’t prepare you, huh? Gotta make sure you’re ready, hm?”
His thumb rubs over your aching clit, the lewd noises of your slick nearly white noise to your ears as pleasure builds, every muscle taut underneath his touch. He’s pumping faster and harder, nails dragging over your walls, until his fingers find that spot you love — the one he knows how to hit again and again, and he does.
Your head lolls back against the desk, pleasure ripping up your spine, “I’m—“
And that’s the only warning you give before you cum, name on your lips as your back arches, as he fingerfucks you through your orgasm, working you down from your high. You're panting, chest heaving as he slowly eases his fingers from you, the emptiness making you whine.
Your eyes flutter open to the sight of him licking his fingers clean of your cum, tongue darting across his lips, a glint in his eyes.
“You’re so sweet I can never get enough of you,” and he lifts a finger to your lips, letting you taste yourself on his digit, obediently closing your mouth around it, until he’s dragging it out, pulling at your bottom lip, “you’re dripping from both lips aren’t you?”
“That’s your fault,” god, you’re too fucking cute, thighs twitching as he leaned down to your soaked cunt, a pretty flushed pink, “you made a mess,” and his tongue licks a stripe up your leaking walls, sparks blooming from the hot muscle flicking against your hard clit.
“Then I guess it’s my responsibility to clean you up,”
Satoru Gojo is always too much — it’s too much the way his tongue drags over the seam of your cunt, it’s too much when his nose bumps against your clit when he buries his face in your pussy, your fingers curling in his white locks, and it’s too much when you feel his grunts and moans resonate against your drenched folds.
It was too much.
“How are you so soft?” He mumbles, words whispered against your puffy clit before he kisses it, “you say I don’t play fair but you were unfair from the moment I met you,” he reaches down, palming at his erection, “and I knew you’d be mine,” Your eyes find his lips less than an inch from your pussy, chin and lips shiny with your cum and his spit, “you and this sweet pussy,”
And he’s slurping every ounce of your essence you give him, greedily lapping at you as if he’d rather drown in your juices than breath real air, “fuck, Toru, slow down—“ toes curling as you
He clicks his tongue, your head rolling back as your nails dig into his scalp, “You shouldn’t lie, sweets, not when this pretty girl is so honest,” the only sound being the wet squelch of your
“Satoru Gojo!” A familiar voice rings out followed by several knocks, “how long do you expect to keep us waiting?”
Fuck. And there was the reason you two were getting sresssd to begin with — a showing before Gakuganji and the Gojo clan before the battle with Sukuna. A showing Satoru agreed to undoubtedly to fuck with them — and you, now, for that matter, as he sucks at your clit again, your hand flying to cover your mouth.
“Didn’t know you were waiting. Thought keeping you waiting would have sent you the right message,” Satoru replies, words said nearly against your wet cunt, breath warming your folds, a shiver working it’s way up your spine, “do you all need to see me in my clothes for battle that badly? I’ll have to start to suspect other motives — and while I’m flattered, with how flattered I can be from a bunch old geezers, I am a married man—“
“You insolent brat—“ his tirade falls on deaf ears as you try to urge Satoru off, but he doesn’t, only pinning your hips in place, hands locked under your knee, as he tugs you closer.
And he only grins, “Don’t tell me you’ll let this old coot distract us, sweetheart? Gonna make me insecure, does my wife not like this as much as her pussy does?” He groans his fingers, spreading your walls apart, parting them to see your cum and pre leak, only for him to lap it up, “because you’ve gotten wetter, haven’t you?”
“T-Toru, I swear to god, I’ll—“ you half whisper, half hiss, and he sinks two fingers inside your needy walls, his tongue and fingers doing nothing to keep quiet as the squelch of your folds only grows louder as he drags his fingers inside every inch of you, while his tongue busies itself with your clit.
“You’ll what, wifey?” he hums, making you whimper, “leave? You know you don’t want that. We could make a show of it, should I open these doors and let everyone see how needy you are for me,” and you can’t help the gasp that parts your lips, walls clenching around his fingers, “maybe then those geezers will see why I chose you,”
“Satoru! Are you even listening?”
“You can say whatever you want to me here,” Satoru sinks a third finger inside, teasing your clit with chaste kisses, “I’m not leaving this room for the rest of the night,”
Gakuganji pounds at the door, but you barely hear it, heart pounding in your ears, as you barely muffle your moans behind your clenched fist, “Disgraceful, do you think this is anyway to behave—“ you’re so close, too close, ready to cum as he pumps his fingers once, twice, three times — hitting your sweet spot again and again—you feel yourself reach that peak—
Only for him to stop. The whine that leaves your lips is a little too loud, just as his smirk is a little too wide.
Fucking asshole.
Satoru chuckles, teasing you open with his fingertips, just carding your folds barely open at all, pulling small gasps and moans muffled against clenched fingers, “Aw, c’mon, you don’t think being sealed up in that box taught me anything? You should know it only made me take what I want,” Satoru pulls his fingers from inside you, licking up the side of his digits, “and what I want is right here,” he leans back down, “so tell me and leave,”
“Even so, I need to speak to you alone,”
“It’s only me and my wife. You can tell her anything you tell me, she’s the more responsible one after all,” he punctuates it by his teeth grazing your clit, making your hips jerk underneath him, his hand covering your mouth, your fingers curling over his. He grins down at you as he kisses your thigh, “My wife is indisposed at the moment,”
You don’t hear what Gakuganji says as his fingers sink back inside all at once, fingers rough as they fucked you open in earnest, but you hear Satoru scoff nonetheless.
“Get your mind out of the gutter, you old geezer — she’s just lying down,” and he adds with a whisper, curling his fingers just right, “and getting her brains fingerfucked out,” and your pretty eyes are full of tears, cries muffled against his fingers, spit soaked, as he feels your walls clamp around his fingers, “what do you think? Should I let him in, sweetheart? Let him see how you well you get fucked by me, hear you scream my name when you cum for me?”
Nerves on fire from his touch, he’s just adding fuel to the fire, and you’re bucking into his fingers, wanting his fingers deeper even a little—
“No, I don’t think so,” his lips curl as he leans down, cerulean glinting in the low light, as your walls give that tell tale flutter, “because this pretty cunt is just for me,” and he sucks hard at your clit, just as he pulls his hand away, “cum.”
And you do, pleasure ripping through every inch of you as your back arches upwards into his touch, as he holds you against his face, cumming against his fingers and lips.
It’s heaven, buried in your sweet cunt as you cum, hot release against his tongue that he laps up greedily, the wet squelch of your pussy along with your lips crying out his name again and again. doing nothing to ease the throbbing between his thighs.
And when he finally does pull away, licking his lips and chin clean of your release, he watches you coming down from your high — eyes fluttering open slowly as your chest heaves, pussy split open just for him, your cum staining parts of his pants shirt and haori.
Fuck, he’ll have to see everyone off like this — your cum on his clothes — and his dick twitches, as he leans down to press kisses along your body, with you shivering as he does. And he wants nothing more than this moment to last, with you beneath him, the taste of you on his lips, and the sounds of your soft pants filling his ears.
That is until, you flipped him, back hitting the plush of the mattress, “sweets—“
“Did you forget? It’s a wife’s duty to serve her husband,” and your fingers are as deft as they are possessed — grazing over the bulge in his pants, a hiss before pulling the drawstrings apart, “isn’t that right, husband?”
Fuck, he bites his lip as he watches you tug his trousers down, his erection slaps his stomach, hard and leaking through the fabric of his boxers, a large dark stain of precum from his weeping tip.
Fuck, your cunt ached at the sight of him — no matter how many times you saw his cock, you couldn’t get over just how long he was — it was a miracle you were able to take him without breaking your cunt, though he’d gotten far too close.
“And I thought you said we couldn’t undress me,” his cock twitches as your fingers trace over the dripping slit through the drenched material.
Your eyes don’t meet his, still fixed on his hard on, “if the clothes are on you, does it even count as undressing?”
And your fingers dip into the elastic of his boxers before snapping it against his skin, making him jolt, “should I stop then, oh honored one?” You rub your thumb over his slit harshly, a gasp falling from his lips as his head lolls back, “maybe I should go get Gakuganji, let you have your meeting,”
“Playing dirty doesn’t suit you, sweetheart—“ and you pull his boxers down, pooling around his knees just as his pants did, cold air hitting his cock making him hiss.
“Like I said,” your palms slide up his body, from his waist, and under his shirt, to his chest, stealing the breath from his lungs, “should I stop?”
He looks up at you, lungs filled with heat instead of air, lips hovering an inch from his leaking erection.
“Fuck no.”
~~~
You’d be the death of him.
There was no mistake about it.
Satoru Gojo only had one weakness—and you were sitting on top of him. Your hair disheveled with your fingers running through them, lips kiss bitten and ruined even as your teeth grazed your bottom lip, and your gaze molten and only for him — just for him.
And you called him perfect.
A groan leaves his chest as your tongue flicks against his slit, salty precum swallowed by eager lips. He’s hypnotized by you, fingers reaching for you, as his thumb drags down your puffy bottom lip, parting your mouth for him, tongue darting out to lick the pad of his finger. Fuck, your mouth is so sweet, but how is it so wicked all the same?
“Fuck, sweets, how do you look so good on your knees f’me? S’not fair,” and your forefinger traces his pretty veins from base to tip, running over every curve and inch that would be buried in your tight cunt soon enough, his hips jumping against your touch, “g’nna make me cum before you even touch me,”
“If you’re gonna cum anywhere, it better be on me,” your lips curl at the shiver that runs down his body, your fingers sliding up his thigh as your fingers slide the pre down his length, fingers slowly pumping him.
“Fuuuuck, just like that, can’t wait to bury myself in your sweet pussy, wifey—“ your lips kiss his slit, sucking as your fingers toyed with his balls, feeling far too tight from your touch, a moan cutting off his words.
“G’tta find a way to shut you up somehow, Toru,” you spit on his cock, pressing teasing kisses up and down his begging length, “or maybe we can find a gag,”
You’ll kill him before he even gets a chance to fight Sukuna, and he’d die a happy man.
His precum drips down your chin, painting your lips, tongue darting out to lick it off your skin, “s’fucking good for me,” the praise sending a wave of heat right to your cunt, hot cum slipping down your thighs — and you finally let his cock slip past your lips.
A whine leaves his throat, his head lolls back, your pretty mouth wrapped around his dick, soaking his length, hips jerking against your mouth. Half muttered apologies, he couldn’t look away from the sight of you on your knees for him — mouth stuffed full of his cock with glassy eyes from the soreness of your jaw as you bobbed your head up and down his length. Just watching his dick go and in out of your pretty fucking lips, drenched in your spit and his pre, was enough to make him want to cum then and there.
But he wasn’t the only one.
Small whimpers and moans reverberate against his cock, tongue flicking against his veins, when his eyes flicker down, nails nearly digging into your scalp as he sees you two fingers deep in your cunt, the wet sounds of your pussy mixing with the squelches of his cock in your mouth.
“Fuck, such a nasty girl I married, huh?” He runs his fingers through his hair, entranced by the sight of you fucking yourself open with your fingers, your mouth growing sloppily as you do, “does fucking my dick turn you on this much? You’ve soaked the sheets,” he chides, wide smirk undercutting any iota of scolding, while you meet his gaze with a glare, “Aw, what? Can’t take it—“
His words are cut off as you take him deep, too bumping against your throat, and his fingers curl in his locks.
“Shit—“ Your fingers graze his balls again before squeezing, hard, he nearly busts them and there, but he can’t, not yet — his fingers weave into your locks to slowly pull you off, strings of spit and pre connecting your — not when he hasn’t fucked your pretty cunt yet.
Your eyes are dilated, dark with pleasure as his gaze meets your own, a mix of his pre and your spit slipping from the corner of your mouth, “You haven't cum yet—“ and his fingers wrap around your wrist and pull your fingers from inside yourself.
You yelp as he flips you over in an instant, hitting the mattress with a bounce, large palms sliding up your thighs, as he presses your knees to your chest.
“The only place I’m cumming, sweetheart,” as he drags the swollen head of his cock against your needy folds, watching his precum smear against your twitching folds, before lifting your soaked fingers to his lips, “is inside your sweet cunt.”
“Toru—please—“ and you’re so needy, just for him, your fingers finding the front of his scarf before tugging him close, a gasp chased away by a grin as he sees the pure desperation in your eyes, “I need you,”
“I’m right here, sweets,” and he’s leaning down to dot sweet kisses down your body — against your neck, the bridge of your collarbone, the swell of your breasts. “You’re going to have to be more specific,”
“Fucker,” he laughs.
“Now you’re getting closer,” and he does too, bumping the head of his weeping erection against your puffy clit, as your folds feel as if they’ll part for him in an instant, “this pretty girl is more honest than you are,” he’s parting your folds with his tip only to pull out.
A whine turns to a scowl, as you tug him even closer by his scarf, “I swear to god, if you don’t fuck me, I’ll strangle you with this—“ and he sinks into you.
Fuck, you swear you feel every goddamn inch, vein, and curve as he works himself into your tight cunt, walls fluttering as if beckoning him deeper—and he was only too happy to oblige.
“Toru, s’too big,” your whining only makes his cock throb inside you as he bottoms out inside, “s’too much,”
“Too much? No, sweets, this dick was made to fuck you,” he grunts, taking every iota of his self control not to thrust into you and bury his cum deep in your womb — no, he wanted this to last, “and this pussy was made for my cum,” he rolls his hips against you swallowly, his tip brushing against your cervix, as both of your heads roll back.
“How are you so tight? Pleasure rips up your spine as he begins a steady pace of fucking you, sounds of skin smacking together ringing in your ears, “you’re fucking wet and yet you have me in a vice grip,” his clothes rub against you, your slick soaking through the fabric, “should I go meet with the elders like this? Let them see the Gojo clan’s haori soaked by your juices,” fingers pressing your legs apart wider and higher, divots in your flesh from his touch.
Your walls squeeze at his words, mouth falling open wordlessly as he grunts, “F-fuck,” you can only manage to say, chest heaving as you grasp at the front of his haori, pulling him needlessly closer, “f-faster—“ and he grins.
He was more than happy to oblige.
He rails into you at a pace impossible for anyone but Satoru Gojo. And your gasp fades into a drawn out moan that makes him only want to fuck you harder and faster — he needed to bury himself in your cunt until all you remembered was how to moan his name.
“You take me so well, so deep,” his hand laces with yours and guides it to the bulge in your stomach, “see how deep you take me? Good girl,” the praise makes you keen, sending another wave of pre to soak his dick, and he chuckles, “gonna fit my baby so well too,”
Your mouth falls open as his dick ruts against you, bullying your pussy open, “W-what?”
“Y’think we’re gonna leave this bed before I’ve filled you up?” And he punctuates his words with each roll of his hip, “nah, this cunt is all mine tonight,” his thumb drags down your lips, pressing against your tongue, spit leaking out as you groaned, “and so are you,”
And you’re sucking at his thumb, teeth grazing it before brushing it away to lean up to meet his lips in a bruising, messy kiss — all spit and teeth and tongue, as your hips meet his thrusts, tip finally finding that sweet spot that has your back arching and your eyes rolling back.
“Toru, fuck, I’m g’nna—“ and you’re cumming, hard, orgasm hitting every inch of your body at once, nerve endings shot with pleasure as he fucks you through it — fucking relentless (or should you say limitless?). Satoru grunts as your walls clamp down on him, the wet squelch of your pussy only growing louder among your pants and moans. He watches the white ring of cum wrap around the base of his cock as it split you open, and all he wanted to do was cum inside you.
He needed to.
But he’s pulling out suddenly, a gasp ripped from your lips at the emptiness, before he’s pulling you into his lap, your back pressed to his chest, an arm around you to keep you from squirming.
“What are you—“ your sentence cuts off as he teases your far too sensitive entrance with the head of his cock, “T-toru,”
And his other hand snakes around to cup your chin, forcing you to meet your own gaze in the mirror.
You’re a mess — sweat slicked and naked, your skin littered with blooming red marks dotting up and down your body, your nipples pebbled and hard under his touch, and your cunt on full display, his fingers slipping down to spread them, as if to show you where he just was.
And he was — hulking behind you, his whole form enveloping you as his cock pushed against your needy entrance. His haori disheveled and his hair askew from your fingers running through it, skin shiny with sweat, skin beautifully flushed, and his eyes filled with lust and his smile far too pleased with himself as he watched you squirm.
Your eyes squeeze shut, “Don’t wanna be the only one to watch me cum inside you, you should enjoy the view too,” he’s finally sinking to you again, body falling back against him as he sheathed himself in you fully again, “look at how well you take me,”
And his fingers are cupping your chin, spit slipping from your mouth, as he forced you to look again, see the bulge in your stomach as he slowly began to fuck you, his grunts and moans hot against your ear, “y’know, I’m beginning to really believe you were made for me, sweets, the only one for me,” and he’s emphasizing it with a thrust, “you’re the only one I can even imagine wanting, even just thinking of you is enough for me,” his words do nothing but make you grow tighter as he fucks upwards into you, as he spots your eyes shut again, “c’mon baby, watch me fuck you,”
So you do, watch as his cock slides in and out of your cunt, the wet noises and squelch almost too much for you to bear, the all too familiar knot in your stomach growing ready to snap. His fingers slide up your body to pinch and tease your sensitive nipples, already flushed from his attention. He’s murmuring sweet words, but you don’t hear any of them — you’re gone, lost in the pleasure, in the sweet stretch of your pussy around his cock, unable to look away as he fucks into you.
“S’good for me, sweets, I’m close,” and he’s pulling you down flush against him, cock buried to the base as his tip brushes against your g-spot with every thrust, his lips pressing needy kisses to the side of your neck, “fuck, g’nna cum—”
“Cum inside me, fill me up, Toru,” and he groans your name, turning your head to find your lips in a sloppy kiss, tongue wrapped around yours just as his cock hits the deepest part of your tight cunt and his fingers rub against your clit.
And you’re squirting, gushing over his lap and cock, pulling your lips from him as you moan his name, as he rails into you through your orgasm, until he notches himself as deep as he can before he’s cumming too, hot release painting your walls as he fills you up. He’s fucking his cum into you.
You both grow slack as he slows his movements, relaxing against his body, murmuring soft praises as he slowly pulls himself from inside, clicking his tongue, as he watches his cum slip out of you.
“Sweetheart, how will you fulfill your duty if you let my cum slip out like that?” he kisses your cheek, before he’s gathering the cum on his fingers to stuff it back inside, drawing a gasp from your lips, “maybe I’ll just fill you up again, hm?”
His softening cock twitches at the thought, as you lean into him, shifting as you feel just how wet you’ve gotten him…and his clothes.
Fuck.
“Toru, how are you going to fight in these clothes tomorrow?” you cover your burning cheeks, “it’s drenched,”
“It’ll dry,” you snap your head to him to glare at him, and he pouts, “what? It’ll be like you’re fighting with me—”
“I swear if I have to live with the knowledge you fought the king of curses with my cum all over you, I’ll kill you—”
“And if I’m not alive—”
“I will bring you back to life, just to kill you,” and your palm slides against the slant of his cheek, “and you’re not going to die, I forbid it,”
He chuckles, his lips leaning down to meet yours in a sweet kiss, “Then I better not now, huh?”
~~~
“You’ll come home to me, won’t you?”
It hadn’t been a question, not until now, now when you’re faced with the reality of the day pressed against you as day breaks over December 24th. Daylight seeped into the bedroom, his thumb tracing a lazy circle against the divot of your hip, a soft smile on his lips, with his arms wrapped around you.
Atlas long having shifted the sky to your husband’s shoulders, from the second he existed in his world — but for a moment, you feel it too. Not like him — never like him, even when you tried to bear it with him. But you never could understand, no matter how you tried to.
But you tried — his fingers lacing with yours, engulfing yours with his warmth, as he lifted your intertwined fingers to his lips.
“Where else would I go, sweets?” And you didn’t want to think of the other possibilities, to say the words out loud and manifest them as some cruel jujutsu god’s intention. Because when were these gods ever kind? “I only belong in one place — two if you count the mochi place in Sendai,”
But he doesn’t earn a smile out of you, frown still firmly fixed to your lips, “ouch, not even a pity half smile?” he tilts his head, “sweetheart—“
“You said it yourself that the ten shadows is the ultimate counter to infinity,” you hate the words that leave your lips, filling in your mouth like bile, unable to do anything but spit them out like acid, “that and Sukuna’s technique, I’m worried—“
“Worrying won’t change the outcome, baby, and I’m not planning on losing,”
“If you aren’t, then why did you agree to give Yuta your body?” your words were quiet, his movements still, muscles tense as if he had already given up his autonomy to another, “and you didn’t tell me,”
He’s careful with his words, tiptoeing between buried mines— “I didn’t want you to worry about something that wouldn’t happen—“ but still managing to step on one all the same.
“Bullshit. You thought it would be better for me to find out if push comes to shove?” you laugh, a bitter noise, but all the anger leaves your body, and only fear is left, “I can’t lose you, Toru,”
“Baby—“
“I can’t. I won’t,” you’re being petulant, you know are, but he’s the one person you’re allowed to be childish about, just as he is with you.
“You won’t, huh?” He wasn’t used to be treated like this — as fragile, as something that’s fleeting, that could slip from fingers as easily as everyone else did. Even as you touched his, fingers tracing the curve of his jaw with the most delicate of touches, as if he’d shatter under your touch, “I don’t think we get a say in that, sweets, unless you had secret meetings with a god I don’t know about,”
“Satoru—“
“Don’t worry I won’t get too jealous—“ and you cover his mouth, yanking him close by his scarf, your forehead pressed to his shoulder.
“I love you, you absolute idiot, you know that right?” And you feel his lips curl ever so slightly against your fingers, before he presses a soft kiss to your palm, easing it from his mouth, “I love you, I love you so much,”
“I love you too,” he presses his forehead to yours, “I’ll come back to you, but even if I don’t…I’ll always be with you, you can’t get rid of me, even in death,”
“Promise?” And he kisses you, soft and languid, thumb rubbing back and forth against your speak.
“Promise.”
And Satoru Gojo was never one to break his promises.
~~~~
Except now.
The slice cut through the silence of the battlefield with the wet squelch of flesh and blood, followed by two thumps, one soon after the other.
No, no. This wasn’t true. It wasn’t. It wasn’t.
It couldn’t be.
He promised he would come back. He promised he’d live. He promised.
He can’t leave like this. No, he can heal himself, he can save himself, couldn’t he? RCT like he did before with Toji. And for your eyes flickered around the room, no one could meet your gaze, none except Shoko, who saw the question in your eyes and only frowned before shaking her head, lit cigarette snapping in half as he held it too tight.
“No, no—“ you didn’t even realize you said the words out loud before you felt everyone’s eyes on you suddenly, before you felt something, a flicker of his cursed energy and you snapped.
“Ui ui, take me with you,” Kashimo was already on his way to the battlefield, a lightning flash to death’s door, with no fear.
Yuta says your name softly, “I don’t know if that’s a good—“ your eyes snap to his hard.
“You have your plans, Yuta, and I have my own, this isn’t a matter of discussion,” you step over to Ui Ui, seeing Yuta’s hands curl into fists, vision averted, “I’m not ready to give up on him,”
And in a second, you’re in the middle of the battlefield, dust clearing as the distant noises of fighting rings in your ears, but you barely register it, no, not when wind rolls and you see him.
“Satoru,”
You’re at his side in an instant, your fingers running over his cheek, the heat leaving his body, cold creeping in, but as your fingers graze his, a quiet murmur of his name, and you see his eyes flutter.
And it’s immediate. You look to Ui Ui, as your hands are placed on either side of his split body, palms spread against his body, “Take us to Shoko, he’s alive.”
~~~~
Satoru Gojo was never one to lose.
But he supposed if he had to lose to anyone, it might as well be the king of curses. But he knows he didn’t really loose, as he watches the snow fall above him, wondering if the cold against his skin was the snow or if it was something else entirely.
Was this what it was like for Suguru? Is this what he saw? The winter sky, or was it him knelt beside him as his life left his body.
Maybe he’ll ask him when he goes back, when he sees everyone again.
And then he hears it — your voice, the quiet murmur of his name, and the brush of your hand against his.
No, no, he can’t leave. Not if he can help it. Not when you’re here.
He feels your cursed energy flood his body, the flow of cursed energy through every inch of him, as it keeps his heart beating and his brain alive — a gasp caught in his throat.
If you want to start anew, head north. If you want to return to your old self, head south.
There’s only one option.
He had to head north — even if it meant — he closed his eyes — losing everything, but himself.
But he’d have you — and that would be more than enough.
~~~
“Are you enjoying the view?”
Your lips curl as you stand in the doorway of your bedroom, leaning back against the doorframe, watching your husband dress himself.
“Always do,” the floorboards creak lowly as you cross the bedroom to your husband’s side, “why do you think I married you?”
He chuckles, “and here I thought it was because of my incredible personality,” and you snort, as your arms wrap around his middle, your fingers adjusting the obi belt around his waist, “feels like you laughed at that a little too hard, sweetheart,”
“I just imagined how your students would react at that,” you laugh softly, as you finish adjusting his belt, only to grab his haori, a deep sky blue, as pretty as he is, “pretty sure they’d disagree, especially after the stunt you pulled—“
And of course, the stunt you were referring to was him coercing you push a box out to his students, only for him to pop out.
“How many chances would I have to do that? Plus, it was hilarious — did you see their faces?” And you scoff, shaking your head, “Plus, I figured it would be less shocking this way. Surprising them this way changes the focus from what happened to right now,”
You helped him pull the haori on, guiding his arms in one sleeve and then another, “I think you just being alive was enough of a shock,” you kiss his palm, pressing it against your face.
And his lips curl, “Well I made a promise didn’t I?” His other hand reaches for you, finding your waist and tugging you close, “and I never break a promise, especially when it comes to my beautiful wife,”
“Can you call me that yet? We still haven’t had the ceremony yet,” he shakes his head.
“This is only a formality, something to appease the elders and keep the idea of a clan war at bay,” he scoffs, shaking his head, before shrugging, “but it isn’t so bad,”
“Why’s that?” And he smiles.
“Because now we can have no regrets,” and your fingers trace upwards over his face, the scars from his battle bumpy as your fingers run over his soft skin, fingers reaching the blindfold over his left eye, before pushing it up — his cerulean blue eye now a milky white, “except maybe being able to marry you with both eyes,”
“Like you said, we were already married,” your thumb runs over his shut eye gently, “this is just a formality,”
He leans into your touch, nuzzling your hand, before his arms pull you flush against him, “Then can we be late?” And his lips lean down to press a heated kiss to your neck, voice reverberating against your skin, “because I’d like to enjoy my wife before I have to share her with everyone else,”
“Toru—“ a soft gasp cuts you off, as his hands slide down your sides to cup your ass, fingers squeezing, “we can’t—“
“Oh what will they do? Start without us?” And your resistance is waning as his lips start trailing kisses down your neck, tugging at your kimono if only to pull the fabric down your shoulders, “I promise I’ll be fast,”
“Last time you promised that, we didn’t even make it out the door—“ and his fingers are already undoing your obi, before sliding up and underneath the silk material, thighs parting under his touch, “god—“
“You don’t have to call me ‘god,’ sweetheart,” and his fingers toy with your panties, “look at my wife,” and he’s tilting your gaze to make you look at yourself in the mirror again, “perfect,”
“Just like my husband,” and his lips curl.
“Even now?” And your fingers cup his cheek, forcing him to meet your gaze — no longer the look of the strongest or the gaze of the six eyes — just the eyes of your husband, Satoru Gojo. The very gaze he’ll use to look to the future.
“Especially now.”
✧ a/n: welcome to the first kinktober fic!! sorry it took a bit T_T. i've been super busy with work and i keep getting sick in weird ways. last week i got hives and this week, my stomach is being a jerk. but i hope you guys enjoyed :) i think the next fic may be 'a cult classic' or 'scream (only for me)' so look forward to that!! thank you to @coffee-and-geto and @gaylatteart for betaing!
✧ taglist: @risuola , @riamallow , @montilyetron , @saccharinesatoru , @notgoodforlife , @aerithsthingss , @satorusmochis , @silvarys , @oracle014 , @jimabenamara , @seijakuu00 , @erwinawesomeness , @staryukis , @idiotgojo , @torubug , @theshylittleelfgirl , @mitsuristoleme , @forest-hashira , @aishies-stuff , @midnaamethyste , @fiannee , @paperstarsthings , @satosuguwifee , @kachntos @meow-satoru , @rowaelinsdaughter , @emonaculate , @hojoslutoru , @strawberry1042 , @fairiesthrum , @shoyosdoll , @gladiatorgladiator , @tojis-ball-sack , @astraecea-silversin , @sleazymac-n-cheesy , @wakashudou , @cstandsforchaos , @yuminako , @zetianzz , @dazailover1900 , @sunamatic , @euphorism , @satowooo , @hawkwithsocks
#sab [mlist]#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo fanfiction#satoru gojo smut#gojo x reader#gojo smut#satoru gojo x you#gojo x you#gojo satoru smut#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x you#gojo fanfiction#jjk gojo
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‘It’s cannae be that difficult,’ Soap scoffed, watching as the masked man fiddled with the pieces of string in his hand.
‘She mentioned in er letter that she’s been buying handmade bracelets from this market back in Manchester,’ Simon said, ‘thought I’d give it a shot myself.’
‘Aye, Lt. but your hands ave only ever brutalised thing… ye no bracelet maker. More of a necklace maker — ye know, like a noose—’
‘Shut it,’ he snarled, looking down at the loosely woven bracelet in his hand, ‘she wanted me to make somethin’ for er, so I am.’
‘Could’ve just asked me to draw er somethin’,’ Soap chuckled, pushing himself up off of the doorframe. ‘Or are ye scared am gonna steal ye missus?’
‘Go away,’ huffed the other, focusing back on his bracelet, ‘I swear to fuck all you ever do is give me a fuckin’ headache, go an’ bother Price.’
Soap disappeared down the hall, leaving Simon to figure out the complicated and strenuous task of making a bracelet, ‘Fucks sake,’ he sighed, finally tying the ends together, holding it in the palm of his hand in front of him.
Part of him was convinced it would have been an insult to send that to you; there was hardly any talent to be found in his creation (at least, that’s what he thought) as the plaited yarn was hardly neat. Only, he bit the bullet and added it into the envelope with the letter he had messily scribbled.
And, for the first time ever, he felt anxious… over a stupid fucking bracelet.
—
It took a while for him to hear back, counting on the fact that after making the bracelet he’d been called by Price on another mission. In fact, he’d forgotten about the entire conundrum until he sat on his bed in his room with your envelope in his hand. When he opened it, a black and white beaded bracelet fell onto his lap, as did a loose polaroid you had taken.
A smile met his face when he saw you wearing the pesky bracelet with the brightest smile on your face. Setting the photo down, he opened your letter.
I love the bracelet so much Si! I thought I’d make you one myself too so we could have matching ones. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to though, I just thought it would be a nice gift for you.
Taking the bracelet in his hand, he closed his fist around it as he continued to read through your letter.
—
‘Nice piece of jewellery you got there, Lt.,’ Soap sniggered, bringing his mug of tea to his lips before adding, ‘how much did it set ye back, ey?’
‘Shut up, Johnny.’
—
#another random thought lol#cod#call of duty#cod mw2#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x you#simon cod#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost simon riley#simon riley x y/n#cod x reader#johnny soap mactavish#simon riley#ghost cod#cod modern warfare#this is cute i think#cod x female reader#cod x y/n
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