#I swear I'm getting that done eventually. I spent too much time on it

[taralen]

Spamblue NOW

[lacydollette]

Lol, this is from my own current personal angst in my life but I was thinking it can be used for an angsty Rafe x Reader. I have very low self esteem, I don't think I look pretty so I have a hard time accepting that a guy could be interest in me or find me appealing, especially cuz guys have called ''mid''. Right now I'm talking to THE sweetest guy. THE most greenest flag of all. Super respectful, mature and kind. I had a freakout and pushed him away, wanted to stop talking. He got super upset, send me a drunk text basically being like ''I'm so attracted to u and your everything I've ever dreamt of. I just wanna make you happy and make you smile. Your so special to me. I keep saying that your beautiful, amazing and gorgeous but you won't hear it. Please don't let your insecurites get in the way of us. I fkn miss you'' I mean...hey feel free to take whatever inspiration you want from that, change it, build on it, whatever you want! We just want a sappy head over heels Rafe who is heartbroken being pushed away (but with a happy ending)

a/n tysm for sharing this with me! and please don’t let your doubts get in the way of your happiness. you are BEAUTIFUL and you MATTER ❤️‍🩹 i hope u like this little piece.

warnings rafe cameron x fem!reader, reader with low self esteem, situationship, angst, fluff, rafe being a sweetheart

Rafe couldn’t really tell when it started, but he could feel it in your forced smiles and short responses. He tried to convince himself it was nothing, but the ache in his chest told him otherwise. Every attempt to figure out what he had done wrong was met with your dismissive shrug and a short, “I’m fine.”

But what Rafe didn’t know about was the chaos in your mind. You liked him—really liked him—but your insecurities were keeping you from letting yourself fall completely. You couldn’t ignore the way girls seemed to flirt with Rafe at parties, the way people whispered that you weren’t pretty or cool enough, to be with someone like him. It didn’t matter how many times he told you that you were beautiful—the doubt in your mind drowned out his words. So, you began to pull away, convinced it was only a matter of time before he realized you weren’t what he wanted.

And that’s why Rafe ended up going to this party alone, although it should have been a night that you two spend together. You had promised to go, only to back out at the last minute with a stupid excuse about not feeling well. Rafe knew you were lying. Obviously he didn’t want to go without you, but after Topper wouldn’t stop begging him, he gave in.

He spent the first hour trying to lose himself in the crowd, nursing a beer and pretending to laugh at Topper’s jokes, but it was useless. Every girl who tried to flirt with him only reminded him of you, and every drink made the knot in his chest tighten. Eventually, he escaped out into the yard, needing space to think—or maybe just to breathe.

The cool night air sobered him slightly, but not enough to stop him from pulling out his phone. His fingers hovered over your contact before he finally hit call. It rang three times before you picked up.

“Rafe?” You said softly, voice trembling slightly. You winced at how vulnerable you sounded.

“hi, baby.” he said, his voice breaking slightly before going right in. “What’s going on with you? Please, just tell me. Did I do something? Did I hurt you somehow? Because if I did, fuck I swear to God, I didn’t mean to.”

Your throat tightened, guilt twisting in your stomach. He sounded so desperate, so unlike the confident, self-assured Rafe you knew. You didn't know what to say, how to explain something you couldn't even fully understand yourself.

“Talk to me, y/n,” he pleaded. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep guessing what’s wrong. I care about you too much to lose you like this.” His voice cracked, and he raked a hand through his hair, his frustration spilling over. “I’m completely crazy about you. I don’t care about anyone else. You’re it for me. You’re the only one I want.”

Your heart shattered at his words. He cared about you, really cared about you. But how could he? How could someone like Rafe Cameron, with his perfect smile and effortless charm, care about someone like you?

"Rafe..." you whispered, unsure of what to say. “No,” he interrupted. “You have no idea how much you mean to me. I think about you all the time—when I wake up, when I go to sleep. You’re all I want, y/n. And if there’s even a part of you that feels the same way—then please, stop pushing me away.”

The silence that followed was unbearable. Rafe leaned against a tree, his heart pounding so loudly it drowned out everything else. Then he heard you breathe out, followed by muffled sobs, which you tried so hard to suppress by pressing your palm over your mouth. You wanted to believe him, wanted to let his words sink in and erase all your doubts. But the fear was still there.

“I didn’t think I was enough for you,” you finally whispered, voice trembling. “You could have anyone, Rafe. And people keep saying I don’t deserve you, and maybe they’re right.”

“Are you kidding me?” he said, his voice rising as he couldn’t believe that you’d actually think that. “Baby, you’re more than enough. You’re everything. Don’t let what other people say get in your head. They don’t know you. They don’t know us.”

Your sniffle came through the line, and he could picture you wiping your tears, head bowed like it always was when you were upset. “I just… I didn’t want to hold you back.”

“You’re not holding me back,” he replied softly. “You’re the only thing keeping me sane.” He paused. “Please, just let me in. Let me prove to you how much you mean to me.”

The sincerity in his voice was undeniable, and you believed him. Believed that he was serious about you two. “Okay.” You said. Relief washed over him, and he exhaled shakily. “Okay,” he repeated, his lips curving into a smile. “I’m coming to you right now.”

Your eyes widened, “No, Rafe, you don’t have to—”

“I want to,” he said firmly. “Stay where you are. I’m coming to you. We’ll figure this out together.” And with that, he ended the call, his heart pounding with determination. He didn’t care what anyone else thought. You were his, and he wasn’t going to let you go.

[feefivefoe]

Please can we hear your thoughts on what Bruce does/thinks when being confronted with his neglect by Jason (and maybe the other boys too)??

Thank you, and have a nice day!

Bruce is the one I have the hardest time characterizing tbh.

I think his first reaction would be denial? He hasn't been the best father, but even he wouldn't go as far as to forget his own chi...

Oh my god he doesn't know how old you are. You were...you were older than Tim but younger than Dick, he thinks.

Wait.

When was your birthday?

Did he ever give you a birthday party?

What wing of the manor did you sleep in?

Where were you right now?

Unlike Tim who starts the unofficial search, Bruce heads right to the batcave to find your official records. Social security number. If you worked anywhere or has anyplace legal to stay, you'd have to input that. He's ashamed he has to go through a government database to find it, rather than simply knowing it.

And just like Tim, he finds nothing. Which scares him beyond belief. Had he lost you already? Did he actually forget about one of his children and then unknowingly replace them? Was he actually guilty of what Jason had accused him of years ago, albeit to a different child?

In reality, you're living solely through cash. Plenty of individuals are eager to avoid paying all their taxes, and are thrilled to accept cash only payments on your rent, or paycheck. Legally, you haven't done anything since graduating high school.

Not necessarily hiding from them, per say, as you don't think they'd go looking, but just because you don't want to be known as a Wayne.

And god, there is so much guilt, fear, and anguish rolling around inside that man. He needs to find out where you are, and if you're okay, and if anybody had done anything to you.

He swears if they have, he'll rip the motherfucker to pieces-

No. That isn't going to help. So instead he checks every reported death within not only Gotham, but any city within a 50 mile radius. For the last 10 years.

As well hidden as you are, nobody can hide from Batman while he's concentrating every effort to find you.

He's hesitant to bring you home at first. How can he call himself your father after forgetting you for your whole time living with him? But his regard for your safety eventually wins out. Until then, you just get a concerning amount of money just...stashed in your apartment??? What the fuck??????

Dick also feels a lot of guilt, but he somewhat subconsciously channels that into abundant overeagerness. Instead of focusing on how many important moments he missed...that he can never get back with his first baby sibling...

...ah, he should focus on all the memories you can make going forward! He has to take you to all his favorite spots, and you take him to yours!

What interests do you have? Are you a go to the aquarium person? Family movie night? Spa night? Just having fun with everyone at dinner? He has to do these things with you! And then you'll be his family again, and he'll love you, and you'll love him-

In spirit, he shows up outside your door like Damian. But he is self aware enough to know that'd freak you out, so instead he 'coincidentally' shows up at your work...in the bad side of town...and his attitude definitely gives away it was planned.

He messes up your "I'm a nobody like all of you" persona you'd spent years cultivating, and by the time he leaves, all your coworkers and customers know that you're Dick Grayson's sibling...which means Bruce Wayne's child, but he likes saying you're related to him more.

Tim doesn't give a fuck at first, like I established. It really is a game to see if he can find you before anybody else does. When he loses that to Bruce (damn it-), he decides he'll just know you BETTER than the others to win.

So he starts literally stalking you and making a psyche profile, like you're a case rather than his sibling. Any interest you've ever listed in your social media is cross checked with any belongings of yours. Merch or posters? Songs you listen to? Any of that content, he consumes as well. He's going to need conversation topics with you.

I'm not entirely sure if he actually loves you as family, or if you're just a hyperfixation that's consistently buzzing at his brain. It's like he wants to dissect, then digest you. Pick you apart piece by piece so he sees every last skin cell, then make that information a part of him

Though, he'd claim it's the former. To him, there's no discernable difference.

He's the one who meets you at your hobbies. Claims an online friend brought it up, but hey, it's crazy to see you again!

Even though it's your first conversation...maybe ever?

He's chatting to you like you haven't been estranged your whole life.

And the look in the eye is...a little unnerving.

[tranquilpetrichor]

lesson learned

synopsis: in which a tutoring session turns out to be much more in disguise.

cast: tutor!gunwook x fem!reader ft. gyuvin and ricky (briefly)

genre: high school!au, f2l

wc: 2.2k (2225)

warnings: suggestive, making out, yn’s outfit has a skirt, gunwook kisses yn on neck, they call each other "cute" and "hot, they r nerds, please don’t do this in a study room, barely proofread and edited help

a/n: i swear why is finishing stuff so hard, this could be so much better but i'm happy i managed to finish it. also it's kinda hard not writing from y/n's perspective but it shre is interesting. i wanna make longer fics lol but for now enjoy this bc i love writing about nerds and especially ones who are down bad.

be sure to reblog and like to support your creators!

bright sunlight filtered in through the windows of the empty study room as park gunwook typed away on his laptop, trying to get homework done quickly.

outside, some students were walking across campus, birds were flying freely, and there were a distinct lack of clouds in the sky.

he would probably be there too, but he was supposed to be tutoring you soon. as boredom was slowly starting to set in, he double-checked the time. it was one minute after your appointment was set to begin.

odd. you weren’t usually late to anything.

before he could ponder it further, you walked into the room, sighed and put your stuff beside him, apologizing for being late. “i was talking to another professor about something, and i didn’t expect it to take that long. my bad…”

something seemed a bit different about you, but he wasn’t sure why. he shrugged the thought off and chuckled quietly.

“it’s no problem, y/n. one minute is nothing. do you prefer the curtains open or closed?”

you waved a hand at the window. “let’s close them.”

he got up and pressed a button on the light switch panel near the doorway, and the curtains automatically came down. this private school sure spent money on interesting things, but at least they were occasionally useful.

cute outfit, he thought.

was that a new pair of boots? it paired nicely with the skirt you were wearing. you managed to look hot and adorable at the same time.

how unprofessional to be distracted by your appearance—he frowned.

snap out of it. it’s time to do math, not stare like an idiot.

luckily, you didn’t say anything, even though he swore he saw a tiny smirk on your face, which you quickly removed in favor of a more neutral expression.

that was weird, he thought as you got your tablet out—the one you liked to take notes on during the calculus class you two had together.

he wasn’t sure of your exact grade in the class, but he heard it was quite high. you were smart, but didn’t seem to have problems asking for help if you needed it. in his opinion, that was pretty admirable.

gunwook noticed that if you did need help, you’d go to the teacher or try and talk to him. the two of you exchanged numbers eventually, texting each other for study sessions.

he loved being able to talk to you more, slowly learning little things about you—like how you wore a certain necklace on big days for luck, that your go-to snack was nuts (he couldn’t help but think of you as a squirrel after that), and that you had a dog named citrus.

he got the feeling that you weren’t the biggest on socializing with many people, preferring to only keep compaany with a few friends. he’s mutual friends with a few of them, like jungwon.

it was refreshing compared to his large friend group (although he loved them) and the many people who were merely interested in him for his looks.

of course, he wouldn’t mind if you were interested in his looks, but hopefully you also liked something beyond that.

you probably did—who else would end up chatting about precious stones or logical fallacies with him? he loved seeing you excited and passionate.

god, his face was probably going to be red if he kept this up.

“i see you said you wanted to look at stuff from the last lecture when you were booking the session,” he said, trying to banish certain thoughts from his head. “series can be difficult, so i get it.”

you nodded, offering him a sweet smile. “yeah, i just wanna go over a few of the divergence and convergence problems on the first practice problem set. i have the problems listed here.”

you pushed your tablet in his direction, and he picked it up.

he glanced at your solution for the first one, nearly written. “i mean, it looks like you applied the test correctly. just to make sure, how did you know to use that one?”

you didn’t hesitate to answer.

“given series is a p-series where p is equal to three. p is greater than three, so the series will converge.”

as expected, you kept up with his questioning. of course you probably knew what a damn p-series is. he’d just wanted to hear your voice some more.

speaking of voices, maintaining a professional tone with you was a miracle. gunwook’s composure and eloquence were paramount to getting him through student council meetings, debates and tutoring sessions, but those skills seemed to want a temporary vacation.

“do you want to move onto the next one?” he said, defaulting to his standard tutor voice.

“mhm. i remember our teacher said there was more than one way to do it. i never tried to figure out the other ways, but now i’m curious.”

gunwook flipped to a certain page in his notebook. “do you want me to show you how i did it? it’s definitely a different method, but we got the same answer.”

you shrugged. “sure. take your time.”

you were twirling your stylus pen in your hands and swiftly tucked it atop your ear. fuck, did you not know how cute you looked? your hair was neatly parted near the middle right now, but he wondered what it’d be like to see you disheveled. at this point, he might be thinking with something other than his brain.

you spent another few minutes talking with him, bringing his memory back to previous tutoring sessions. he remembered you said once that having to justify your reasoning on a topic was one of the best ways to deepen understanding, and that he was skilled at identifying the holes in your arguments.

“that’s why i would hate to lose a debate against you,” you had admitted. “it’s always more fun when we can work together.”

the offhanded comment could’ve had another meeting. as an friend, gunwook couldn’t quite discern your intentions, though. whether you just wanted him at arms length or in your arms was just another guessing game he played.

he was aware that the balance of power was always shifting between you two, but at the end of the day, you two were pretty much equals intellectually, keeping things in equilibrium. however, his underlying feelings of attraction threatened to ruin the balance.

as the session continued, you had a satisfied smile. you asked him about unrelated math proofs and got him off track. why did you want to discuss all this when your sessions were usually more focused? something was definitely off.

“well, that was actually everything i wanted to ask about,” you said to him suddenly, packing up swiftly. “i was just going to go if you don’t have anything else.”

he frowned.

no, please don’t.

what was wrong with him?

“unless, you wanted me to stay..” you continued, a smirk on your face. your laptop was closed and all of your study materials were neatly filed away.

you were definitely teasing him, and it was working, your behavior making him somewhat flustered. there was no turning back if he let himself escalate things right now. he could just let you leave—that’s what rational gunwook would do.

fuck it. rational gunwook was not in the room right now.

he reached out and grasped your arm. “and if i did?”

you smirked and stepped towards him. “then i’ll make sure you don’t regret your choice.”

with that, you pressed your lips to his, surprising him. gunwook quickly recovered, his arm snaking around your waist, pulling you in more.

no wonder you booked the session for an hour and a half.

if anyone opens this door, i’m definitely getting kicked out as a tutor. at least these walls are pretty soundproof.

he pulled away for a bit to catch his breath. "wow, did you come here just to kiss me?”

you laughed, gazing at his eyes. "it wasn't only for that, although i'd be happy to do it again. let me clarify. i have feelings for you.”

you continued. “i’ve honestly thought about it. you’re hardworking, and not just in the classroom. when i see you practicing or studying, you dedicate yourself fully, and it inspires me to do the same. you're kind, even to people who don't deserve it. on top of that, you’ve always been a good person to talk to about anything and everything. i trust you.”

“oh, and i guess you’re cute. and hot.”

you added the last part with a small smile. after each reason, he found himself surprised by your sincere words.

gunwook groaned. “y/n, you have no idea how down bad i am. i don't even remember exactly when it started, but what i do know is that i met someone interesting, someone who challenges me and jokes with me. someone who's beautiful in every way. i'm so fucking into you."

he paused, before deciding to tease you a little. "i have a question about one thing, though. you ‘guess’ i’m cute?”

“well, did you want me to say for a fact that you’re cute?” you asked.

he pouted slightly. “would have been better.”

“fine,” you said, taking his hand. “it is an undisputed fact that you’re cute.”

“thank you.”

"and hot."

"i guess so..." you rolled your eyes, an amused grin on your face. “now can we get back to kissing?”

“i was acually trying to be professional, even though i had feelings for you too,” he whispered against your ear. “but since you insist, i’ll give you what you want.”

not wanting to rush despite his boyish excitement, he leaned down and slowly began to kiss you again, running one of his hands gently through your hair. you closed your eyes.

“want you to take control, gunwook,” you said, your breath hot against his skin and your arms wrapping around his neck.

how could he say no? he was so screwed whenever it came to you. wasting no time, he brought your hips closer to his, enjoying the proximity.

he’d never seen you like this, so blissful and carefree. all he wanted to do in this moment was to make sure you kept feeling that way.

he got a small idea.

“hold on, i’m going to lift you,” he said, and you tightened your hold on him, lifting your legs so that they wrapped around his waist. you looked like a koala, hanging on so protectively to him like he was a branch.

you let out a tiny laugh of glee—it was the cutest thing he’s ever heard.

he moved over to a chair, and carefully sat down with you in his arms. your skirt was spread across your lap, contributing to the newfound messiness of your appearance, and your legs dangled off both sides of the chair.

“let me know if you don’t like something,” he said in between kisses. “the last thing i want to do is pressure you.”

“of course,” you responded, squeezing his shoulders reassuringly.

as a surge of newfound confidence rushed through him, his kisses became more intense, trailing down to your collarbone. you tilted your neck slightly to allow him more access to the area.

shit, he was probably the luckiest guy alive right now.

“so beautiful,” he murmured, tracing your chin with one of his hands, “and you’re mine.”

damn, calm down now.

“wow, for someone who’s so sweet, you sure do have a possessive side.”

he winced. “is it too much?”

you laughed and smiled playfully. “not at all. i find it hot.”

that sentence alone sent a warmth through his body.

“that’s good to know,” he replied with a smirk. he was definitely going to do that more often.

soon, his lips found yours again, like a moth to a flame. damn, he could spend all day doing this (if they had no risk of getting caught).

in his pocket, his phone buzzed, and he sighed, looking at the notification.

gyuvin: r u coming to get ice cream with me and ricky? u said ur tutoring thing with ur gf ends at 4:00

the time was 3:44 pm. wow, were they really at it for that long?

gunwook smiled. gyuvin had texted “gf” as a joke, but little did the poor guy know.

“is it something important?” you asked, still on his lap.

he shut off the phone, looking back at you. “it’s gyuvin. during lunch, me, him and ricky made last minute plans to get ice cream—they’re asking me if i still want to come. i should get going soon.”

of course, his feet didn’t want to move.

you looked intrigued. “do they mind a plus one?”

yeah, they're going to tease me the entire time.

“i’ll ask,” he responded, face somewhat warm from embarrassment. "but one of these days, i’ll take you out on a proper date, just us two. you deserve it.”

your eyes lit up, and you smiled. “i’ll hold you to it, gunwook.”

his phone buzzed again.

gyuvin: yea sure bring her, we support

gyuvin: besides i have ricky he's gonna be my bf now

"they said yes," gunwook said, laughing silently at gyuvin's last message. "let's go in 5 minutes?"

you reciprocated, resting your head gently on his shoulder. "any longer and i don't think i could leave."

[mrsbuckybarnes1917]

Request from @bisexuawolfsalt: May you please write a Bucky x virgin!reader who’s never been able to get herself off?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female virgin!reader

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: masturbation, fingering

Everything about you was different. You'd always felt it. You never fit in with the people you'd grown up with. Friends had never felt close. You were sheltered, your parents had a habit of being overprotective, helicoptering over you until they were in a fatal accident just before your eighteenth birthday. That's when things changed for you, not just what you'd lost, but your body too. You were different, but not in the way you'd thought all your life. You were powered. You kept to yourself throughout college, barely keeping anyone around you as more than an acquaintance. Relationships were a foreign concept to you, be it one of friendship or romance. You'd experienced neither.

That was your story, until you found yourself in New York City in the middle of a Chitari invasion. When you back up an Avenger with your powers, you get noticed. Tony Stark found you and brought you in. It took some convincing, you weren't ready, you were afraid. You'd hidden yourself with a job in the New York Public library. But eventually you agreed to move into the Stark Tower.

That's where you first met Bucky. You had gotten to know Steve, Natasha, and Tony pretty well. Steve had come to knock on your door one day and brought Bucky with him. He had returned from Wakanda, free from his Winter Soldier programming. He didn't look as frightening as people had described him. There was a kindness behind his brilliant blue eyes, an intelligence and a sadness that drew you in. He was a solitary soul and so were you. 

You felt comfortable in his presence. He said very little, in fact he barely made eye contact initially. Steve had encouraged him to make a friend and Bucky had chosen you, you didn't pester him about his well being, didn't cajole him about attending therapy, in fact you didn't bother him at all. You were the perfect friend. These were the reasons you believed Bucky had chosen you.

In reality Bucky couldn't get enough of being around you. He was drawn to you and you to him. Finally he had confessed his feelings to you and you had kissed him. Only Steve knew about your relationship with Bucky, you kept things private. You spent all your down time with Bucky but the two of you hadn't slept together, yet. Bucky had insisted that you wait until you were ready, after you'd told him that you hadn't been in any relationships in the past.

Today hadn't been any different from any other, not really. You'd spent time training in the gym with Steve, you'd done some reading, having decided to pursue a medical degree with your interest in science. You had a lot to learn, but you decided to take a break and grab yourself a bit of food. You walked into the kitchen where a group of SHIELD agents were also eating and talking. You blushed profusely when you heard their topic of discussion… masturbation!

“I love my Lioness. I swear if men’s penises were made with a vibration setting, I'd actually consider being with one,” one of them mused.

“Oh sweet girl, I’ve been married for five years, and let me tell you, sometimes only you have the means to get the job done. I mean I love my human dildo, but the rubber one gets the job done much better. It's got a suction up, so just slam it against the wall and go to town on it," her older colleague chimed in.

"Ah, you kids and your new fangled inventions and toys. I'm pretty old school, my fingers have been doing the job just fine for me all these years. Batteries not included," she smirked.

Their words made you blush, you had no idea what a Lioness even was, you cowered in the corner trying not to eavesdrop. The last thing you wanted was to be involved in this conversa-

"Hey!" You heard Piper, one of the agents calling your name. "What's your preference?"

You mostly kept to yourself, the other agents had no idea of your childhood or your lack of experience and you'd kept to yourself to avoid questions exactly like this.

“I - ummm…” you started stuttering nervously, eyes darting around for an excuse to avoid answering the question. You hoped no one would notice you biting your lip and wringing your hands with anxiety. “You know…”

“Come on girl, are you saying that hunk of yours is that good?”

“What?” You were shocked by Piper’s comment. 

“Barnes, is he as good in bed as he looks like he would be?”

“What-”

“You don’t need to pretend, we’ve seen the two of you holding hands and smacking lips.”

You blushed, you had no idea that other people were aware of your relationship. But they couldn’t know that you hadn’t sealed the deal, could they?

“You have to give us some details,” they laughed good naturedly. “Is he that good that you don’t need to … you know, take care of yourself every now and then?”

There was no malicious intent in their questions, they were just making jovial conversation and including you, but you just wanted the floor to open up and swallow you whole. You wanted to tell them that Bucky was good, but you knew that they weren’t asking if he was a good person, they wanted to know if he was good at sex. You weren’t so out of touch with the world that you didn’t know what they were insinuating.

“He’s an amazing person-”

You were cut off by their beepers sounding off at the same time. Saved by the bell.

“See you around.” They smiled and winked at you as they left to see to their duties.

A silent sigh of relief escaped your lips as you gathered your meal and sat down in the vacated dining area. Your heart was no longer pounding on the inside of your chest, but your brain was in overdrive as you ruminated over the conversation between the agents. Without realizing it, you were thinking about what masturbation would actually be like. 

You weren’t completely innocent or devoid of sexual urges, you had admired both handsome men and beautiful women, some of whom had even had you aroused. But you hadn’t dared act on those urges, mostly because you had no idea how and you were too ashamed to ask anyone you did know. You felt embarrassed that you had reached the age that you were without having had any real sexual encounters. You had been hesitant to explore your own anatomy, even in the privacy of your own home and now you’d reached the point in your life where you were too afraid to try it alone.

Your lunch remained half uneaten as you pondered your dilemma. Your interest had definitely been piqued and you started thinking about Bucky. He had been patient with you and your reluctance to engage in more intimate behavior. He had been incredibly understanding when you’d admitted to him that you were a virgin and hadn’t pushed you into any kind of non consensual conduct.

Everything you’d seen on television or read about, the act of sexual intercourse, the pleasure that came from an orgasm, you wanted to know how it felt. You felt a stirring between your legs at the very thought. But where would you get the information to do things right? You had so many questions. You thought about looking online but the computers in the Tower were all networked, and JARVIS had the ability to look into any search history. The thought of someone finding out terrified you. No, you would have to try something else.

This brought your thoughts around to Bucky. After careful consideration, you determined that Bucky was probably the best person to discuss your areas of learning. You knew that he was a little more experienced than you were and if you were to share a future with him, you would eventually engage in more intimate activity. So he would be the perfect person to ask. You picked up your phone and typed out a message.

You: Can I ask you something? It’s a bit embarrassing.

Bucky’s phone pinged as he sat listening to a discussion between Sam and Steve. He enjoyed watching them battle wits, as long as he wasn’t asked to take part. And when he did, he always sided with Steve, regardless of what his actual opinion was. He took his eyes off the pair to see your face light up his screen. Your face never failed to make the corner of Bucky’s mouth quirk up, as hard as he tried to hide it. 

Bucky had never met anyone quite like you. Despite the trauma and loneliness you had suffered, it hadn’t made you cold or hard, in fact he thought you were the single most kind-hearted and loving person he’d ever met. Your intelligence surpassed that of many and he was almost shocked that you had chosen to bestow your affection on him. You were his angel, sent from heaven to show him what real love was. He texted you back immediately.

Bucky: Anything. 

Bucky’s whole attention was on you now, your question had piqued his interest far more than the conversation between Sam and Steve ever had.

You: How do you masturbate?

Bucky’s eyes were ready to pop out of his skull as he read your question.

“Buck?” Steve called his friend again, trying to get his attention.

“Yeah?” Bucky cleared his throat, tearing his attention away from his phone.

“Can you settle this for us?”

“Yeah, I agree with Sam,” he answered.

Sam and Steve watched him get up and walk away with their jaws on the floor. But Bucky had no time for nor interest in their reaction. He was focused on your question.

Bucky: What makes you ask this question?

You: There were some agents in the kitchen and they were talking about masturbation…

Bucky: And you are curious?

You: Well yeah. So are you going to answer the question?

Bucky thought for a moment before responding.

Bucky: There isn’t just one way to masturbate. 

You: Care to elaborate?

Bucky: Most people use their fingers. Now they have all these toys.

He thought for a moment, before sending a follow up text.

Bucky: Back in the day, we would make do with what was around. You just need to use it right.

As much as Bucky longed to offer you a hands on demonstration of the concept, he knew that he should give you the space to learn and experience things at your own pace, particularly with regards to your sexual relationship.

Bucky: You need to figure out what YOU like.

You bit your lip as you read Bucky’s answers, your fingers hovering above the screen as you tried to work up the courage to continue your conversation.

You: I don’t know what to do.

Bucky: You just have to try things out and see how you feel.

You typed out your response, you felt a tingling between your legs and an unfamiliar dampness. It took you several minutes for you to press send.

You: Will you show me?

Bucky’s mouth went dry as he read your reply. He felt himself stir at that thought of your question. He read your words over and over, contemplating his next move.

Bucky: Are you sure?

Bucky didn’t want to pressure you, or make you do anything you didn’t feel comfortable with, but the thought of being closer to you, more intimate with you made his body react and he could feel blood pumping south.

You: Ordinarily I’d probably use a Google search but I’m not particularly where I should be looking. Also most things are probably not targeted at women past their teenage years. Also I didn’t particularly want to leave a trail of cookies in my search history.

Bucky wasn't quite sure he understood all of your message. I was rather old fashioned, and even though he had some understanding of the modern world, he didn't feel entirely comfortable. He decided to help you the best way he knew how.

Bucky: Meet me when you're done with work?

You: Sure. Where do you want to meet?

Bucky: Your room. 6pm. Wear something comfortable.

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach as you read his message and answered.

You: See you soon.

Anticipation and anxiety had you back in your quarters much earlier than the time Bucky had advised. You decided to be prepared for his arrival, so you took a shower and performed all your necessary grooming rituals. You weren’t entirely out of the loop with regards to sex, but clinical application was very different from actual intimacy. The thought of Bucky’s touch excited you. Your relationship with him mostly involved emotional intimacy, he was nervous too, worried about hurting you physically. He had been happy to let you take the lead for the physical aspect of your relationship.

The thought of his touch elicited a tantalizing reaction from your body, the warmth, the wetness between your legs was exhilarating. There was an urge to touch yourself. It wasn’t that you hadn’t thought about this before, even tried exploring your own body, but you’d never quite achieved the intended goal. Today felt different. You could feel yourself pulsing in a way that you’d not felt before. And if Bucky wasn’t able to help you understand your own body, you were certain that no one would.

You put on a slightly oversized t-shirt, it was loose enough for you to move with ease, but fitted enough that your figure wasn’t hidden. You grabbed a pair of booty shorts, choosing to slip it over your hips without any underwear. The feeling of them against your uncovered core made you feel wicked. Your heart was still pounding and you needed something to relax, so you grabbed a bottle of Pinot Noir and poured yourself a generous glass.

A knock at the door made you jump, and the contents of the glass sloshed around dangerously. You took a small sip before putting it down on the counter of the small kitchenette in your room and went to answer the door. 

“Hi.” You barely breathed the word as you found Bucky at your door.

He looked ethereal, he had clearly taken the time to go back to his room and prepare for your rendezvous after spending the day training new recruits. He slipped past you with a gentle greeting. He had washed his long hair which was loose and still slightly damp. He had donned a maroon Henley which you had told him was your favorite and as he brushed against you, you caught the scent of his cologne which did nothing but increase your arousal.

“How was your day, Doll?” Bucky asked, giving you a gentle peck on the cheek.

“Seriously, you want to ask about my day?” you said nervously, wringing your hands together.

Suddenly you felt out of your depth. How could this beautiful specimen of a man possibly be here for intimate relations with you? You turned around and took a mouthful of wine, coughing slightly as you swallowed.

“Hey, easy there, Doll. Being drunk isn’t helpful. You know,” he paused for a moment, “we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

He wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close to his chest. You could feel his heart beating as your head rested against him. It was calming and you looked up at him.

“I want to.”

“If you change your mind at any time, you will tell me, right?”

You nodded, appreciative of his understanding.

“Sit down for a minute. I’m just going to set up a few things.”

“What kind of things?

Bucky held up a few candles. “I thought they’d make you feel more comfortable, relaxed.”

You watched Bucky place candles around your room and then dim the lighting. His movements were elegant, so smooth. You marveled at his grace and agility, his touch was delicate and you wondered how his hands would feel on your body. When he was done he came over to sit beside you as you clutched your wine glass.

“Oh Bucky, I’m sorry, here, let me get yo-”

You stopped as he put his hands on your shoulders. “Listen, before we start, no matter what happens today, I’m just here to help you… you know, please yourself. That doesn’t mean that we need to go any further. You don’t owe me sex. Got that?”

You nodded, feeling more relaxed, like he’d taken the weight of expectation off your shoulders. “Yeah, okay,” you whispered.

“Anytime you want to sto-”

His words were cut off by your lips on his. “Sorry,” you pulled away slowly. “You were kinda freaking me out.”

Bucky chuckled at your shyness.

“So what now?” you asked, uncertain of how to proceed.

“Do you feel…” He wasn’t sure how to ask you if you felt turned on.

You shrugged. “Every time I think about this, I feel nervous, but also kinda tingly.” Subconsciously, you squeezed your legs together seeking the pleasure that came from the friction.

Your reflexive moments didn’t go unnoticed by Bucky. “You feel good?”

You nodded. “Will you kiss me?”

Bucky smiled, cupping your face with his hands, pulling your lips towards his, caressing them with his tongue before gently slipping it into your mouth. His right arm dropped down, coming to rest around your waist. Both of you lost yourselves in the kiss for a few minutes before Bucky pulled away. “Want to keep making out?”

“Well, it is nice, but I’m ready. What do I do?”

“Do you want to take your clothes off?”

A soft blush crossed your features, Bucky could see it in the glow of candlelight. You started taking off your t-shirt, raising your arms to pull it over your head. Bucky’s eyes lingered over your breasts, trying not to stare as you struggled with the neck. He eventually tore his gaze away to help you complete the task. Bucky tossed the shirt aside on a nearby armchair and turned back to you. You could help but try to cover yourself with your arms.

“You look beautiful, Doll.” Bucky murmured. “What can I do to make you feel more comfortable?”

“I mean, I feel kinda exposed. Maybe if we were on even footing it would be less awkward?”

Bucky laughed, “so you want me to take my top off?”

“I wouldn’t say no.”

Bucky used one hand to swiftly shed his Henley, letting you ogle his chiseled chest for a moment.

"Why don't make yourself comfortable on the pillows.” He nodded his head up to the top of the bed.

You followed his instruction, crawling over to the top. You’d spent many an evening with Bucky buried under the covers watching movies late into the night. Several times you’d woken up the following morning wrapped in his arms, but today was different. You sat back against the stack of pillows making yourself comfortable.

“Aren’t you coming?” You asked, realizing that he was still sitting at the end of the bed.

His eyebrows shot up into his hairline. “Well, if you want me to…” he answered, voice suddenly a little shaky.

“Were you planning on sitting there with all your clothes on, watching me get myself off. I mean that’s kinda off putting.”

He walked around the edge of the bed and climbed on to sit beside you.

“If you take off your pants, I’ll lose my shorts.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Doll.” He smirked before shimmying off his jeans.

As hard as you tried, you couldn’t help the flush on your face as you stared at the outline of his bulge. Bucky smirked.

“Like what you see, Doll?”

There was something in his tone that made your insides feel tight, like there was something inside you trying to escape and you kept squeezing to stop it. Your body responded to his words in a way you’d never felt before.

“Your turn,” he said quietly, not a command, more of a request.

You lifted your ass off the bed and pushed your shorts down, over your thighs, sliding them over your knees and let them fall over your calves. Bucky helped you to unhook them from your feet before tossing them to the foot of the bed, just in case you wanted them again. He took a moment to let his eyes rove over your naked form, oh how he longed to touch you, but today was not for him to indulge his fantasies. Today was for you.

“Will you sit with me?” you asked.

“Can’t get a lot closer than this, Doll.” He was sitting right beside you, his thigh touching yours.

“Can we sit like we did the other day? When we went to the beach?” You remembered how it had felt to sit between Bucky’s legs, his strong arms wrapped around you protectively. You felt safe from the world. It’s not that you needed Bucky to keep you safe physically, you were perfectly capable of looking after yourself, no, he made you feel accepted. It was a feeling you wanted to hold on to forever.

Bucky let you climb between his legs, taking a deep breath as your ass brushed against him, “Okay?” he asked, his hands holding the top of your arms gently.

You nodded. “What now?”

“Well… we just need to figure out what you like, what feels good for you.” He paused, trying to figure out how best to advise you. It wasn’t like there was an official manual to be followed. “May I?” He put his fingers around your wrist, asking for permission to guide your movements.

His palm radiated warmth and you felt goosebumps erupting across your arms. “That feel good?”

“Yeah.”

“Why don’t we start up here?” He guided your hand up to your neck. “Start with soft touches.”

Following Bucky’s instruction, you traced the muscles along your neck and across your clavicle. A soft sigh leaves your lips as you reach the center of your chest. Bucky’s eyes flicked to your face as you closed your eyes and leaned back into him, his chest moves up and down slowly. His sturdiness and strength only served to amplify your arousal. He saw you bite your lower lip as your fingers grazed the skin on your breast. Naturally you cupped it, massaging the tissue slowly. 

“Try pinching your nipple,” he whispered in your ear.

You do as you’re told and find yourself whimpering quietly. The feeling between your legs amplified ten fold, clenching needily.

“And the other side too, Doll.” Bucky muttered, his fingers sliding up and down your upper arm, the same arm you were using to touch your own body. “Feel good?”

“So good,” you sighed.

You leaned back again, the delectable sensations had you arching your back and now that you had moved past your breast, you noticed that the level of pleasure had changed a little, dimmed slightly. Bucky watched with rapt attention, mentally noting what you responded to for future reference. He resisted the urge to bury his face in your neck, press his lips against your sweet smelling skin. Your fingers skated quickly over your abdomen and made their way between your legs.

“Take your time, Doll. From what I've learned, getting a woman all worked up makes things more… intense.

"Before you touch down there, try rubbing here," he moved your hands to your thighs. "Just on the inside, Doll, just like that. You can use your fingers, or your whole hand. Try and see what you like."

You sighed, trying out the different techniques on the flesh of your thighs. Bucky’s skin itched with desire, there was nothing he wanted more than to put his own hands on your thighs, but he had promised you and he would keep his word.

“I like it more with my finger tips,” you leaned back into him, looking up into his eyes with a smile.

As you did, you noticed something pressing into your lower back. You pushed against it, curious about its shape. A shuddering breath and strangled moan escaped your boyfriend’s lips.

You looked back up at Bucky with surprise and you saw the blush on his face. It is a little embarrassing that it took you so long to realize what was touching you.

“Is that…”

“Yeah…you can just ignore… him. He shows up sometimes without invitation,” Bucky mumbled.

“Do you want me to-” you started asking if he wanted you to touch him, but Bucky cut you off.

“No, today we’re here for you. Focus on your own body.” Bucky shifted his hips back to avoid further friction but that didn’t quite stop his body reacting to you.

Bucky’s fingers skated across your skin with the lightest of touches, his breathing heavier than it was before as he watched your hands stroke over your inner thighs, edging closer and closer to your leaking core.

“Buck-” you whined quietly.

“Yeah?”

“I want…”

“Go ahead, start with one hand, maybe?” he suggested. “Feel over the outside.”

You hummed, arching back against him, and earning a groan from Bucky.

“If you feel comfortable, you can put your fingers between the folds and try rubbing your-.”

“Clit?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, there’s a lot… it’s really wet.” You comment as your slick coats your exploring fingers.

“That’s good,” Bucky said encouragingly. “Have you found your-”

You gasped and grabbed Bucky’s muscular thigh as your fingers brushed over your sensitive bud for the first time. Your pussy clenched needily at the sensation. 

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he chuckled darkly.

You continue moaning as your fingers rub circles over your pulsing clit. “Oh Bucky…”

He groaned at the way his name left your lips, filled with such longing. He panted softly as his fingers dug into your flesh, he had moved them from your arms down to your waist and it was taking a lot of self control for him to not let them roam over the rest of your body.

“It feels, I … I -” You couldn’t find the words to express what you needed. The new deletable sensations were something you’d never experienced and it was almost overwhelming.

“Use your words, Doll. Tell me what you need.”

“Inside, I want something inside.” The throbbing at your core was getting stronger.

“Good girl, that means you’re doing it right.”

“How do I do it?”

“Move your legs apart a bit more.”

You obliged and Bucky moved his legs under yours so you could hook your ankles around them for support and open up for yourself.

“Ready?”

“Yes,” you said with more confidence, it felt good, you wanted this.

“Try putting one finger in first. Go slowly.” He put his hand on yours, directing your finger along your slit before helping you push into your entrance.

Your thighs tightened as your finger entered this new territory.

“Try to relax, Doll. Take your time.”

Your finger slipped inside, you took deep breaths in an attempt to slow your pounding heart. Bucky couldn't help himself, he put his hands on your thighs, almost a subconscious movement as he focused on your activities. Watching as you dragged your finger in and out of your dripping pussy.

"That's right, just like that." Bucky crooned in your ear. 

His lips felt soft on your neck. You didn't notice how he palmed himself at the same speed that your finger was disappearing inside you.

"If you want, you can put more fingers inside you."

“Umm hmmm.” You didn’t need his guidance to know what you wanted. “Keep talking though.” His voice in your ear was serving to be more an aphrodisiac than you’d expected. You changed the speed of your trusts, suddenly aware of a new feeling that you couldn’t quite identify.

“You like how that feels, Doll? Try hooking your fingers up slightly.�� 

He knew you’d found the right spot because of the way you bit your lip and squeezed your eyes closed, pushing back into his chest.

“You’re allowed to make noise, Doll. Actually, I encourage it.”

Your hips began to rock of their own accord and you could hear Bucky panting behind you.

“Oh God,” you whined. “Bucky…”

“I’m right here, Doll. You’re doing so good,” he moaned. “Use this hand, here.” Bucky placed your other hand over your clit, letting you take over rubbing the hard bud.

“Bucky…”

“Yeah?”

“Bucky,” you whimpered desperately, brows knitted together. You had no idea what you wanted from him. “Bucky-yy.”

“It’s okay, Doll. You’ve got this.”

You did, because without warning you felt yourself hurtling over the edge of a precipice you didn’t know you’d been standing on. Your walls pulses around your fingers as your body undulated to the feeling of ecstasy spreading out from your core through to your fingertips. Your powers crackled in a glow that surrounded your body.

As your breath finally settled down, you relaxed back into Bucky’s arms, a ridiculous smile spread across your face. Bucky’s arms surrounded you, holding you making you feel safe and supported.

“So? How did it feel?” Bucky asked, a tad impatiently.

You laughed bashfully in response, words not quite able to describe how giddy you felt in that moment, until Bucky was laughing along with you. You caught his lips as he turned his head to look at you, expressing your thanks with an affectionate kiss. As you leaned back, you were reminded of Bucky’s situation. 

“That was amazing, Bucky. But what about you?” you asked.

“What about me?”

“Don’t you have to- I want to feel you… inside me.” Your voice dropped in volume at the end of your sentence.

Bucky shook his head. “Next time, today was for you. Besides, I kinda came when you were…” His voice trailed off looking a little embarrassed.

“Oh, sorry.” 

“No, it’s not your fault, well actually-”

“Hey!” you pouted.

“In a good way. You look beautiful."

"Thanks for not judging me."

"Thank you for accepting me. For trusting me."

"Of course, Bucky. What happens now?"

"After we get dressed, we can order some food and watch a movie?"

"And maybe plan for when we can do this again?" You asked shyly.

"Sure thing, Doll."

You were glad that you'd had the courage to ask Bucky for his help, and hopefully some day soon, you'd be able to feel even closer to him that you'd done today. 

[babybatss-blog]

Hii, I'm Brazilian, so I'm sorry for this shitty writing

can you write something with SDV Sam? I rarely see fanfics with him and I wanted a creative boost to imagine what his married life with the farmer would be like (with all the scenes, even some spicy ones 😉)

WITH YOU

(Stardew) sam x reader, 1400 words

a/n: since you left it pretty vague I tried to make this not too plot heavy, instead it’s a simple drabble on marriage with out fav bachelor! I hope this is what you were wanted lovely x

cw: proposal with a ring instead of mermaid pendant, marriage, slight out of characterness (which makes sense trust me), mentions of adult activities but nothing explicit, slight swearing, kissing and making out. Talk of babies at the end.

How he managed it, you’ll never know. For a man so often oblivious and clumsy, he pulled of the proposal of your dreams.

It was 11pm on a Friday, and after Sam randomly disappeared from the bar under the guise of a full bladder you thought something was off. Abigail and Sebastian were oddly giggly, the other patrons far too watchful of you and Sam was taking way too much time than he should be. Eventually you got up, walking to the bathroom to only find Alex. “Oh, he left.” He simply stated, a matter of fact tone that lazily disguised a strange excitement. “He went to the beach.”

You walk down to the beach, muttering to yourself about what he could possibly be doing. He didn’t have much to drink so this wasn’t some dumb wandering, and he seemed relatively happy earlier so it couldn’t be that something upset him. Come to think of it though, he did appear overly fidgety, like a man with something stressful on his mind.

As you near the beach, shimmering lights start to appear. At first they remind you of Zuzu city, but once you see the man standing in the middle of them, you know that you are actually home. Your home stands within the candles, a grin on his face as you realise: this is it. The day you have dreamed for since you were a child, wishing you could have. It doesn’t take a very long nervous speech from Sam to bring you both to tears, choking out repeated agreements between lovesick kisses and hugs. The next couple of months are spent in a bliss, no matter how stressful. It turns out that Sam was contemplating the day of your marriage just as much as you were, so the collaboration of the wedding went by as a breeze.

What colour is the aisle? Blue. What type of bouquet do you have? Wild grass and Dandelions. What is served at the reception? A mix of pizza pockets and joja cola (despite how unprofessional it may be, this had to be done.)

And the honeymoon phase never ended. It may be because you never actually got to go on a honeymoon, but the two of you spent everyday in a comfortable paradise, going about your daily tasks and enjoying each other’s comfortable company. “Do you think you could teach me how to plant crops?” He asks out of the blue, when the two of you were cuddled up on the couch watching another horrible sitcom. Surprisingly, Sam has managed to mellow out in his locked down lifestyle, swapping his late-night escapades for meaningless conversations and the sound of heavy metal to the rain on a drowsy afternoon. You snort, shocked by his change in attitude. The Sam you knew, so boisterous and uncontrollable has been replaced with a lovesick old pup, preferring spending time with his partner over risking his life.

“You? Mr hay fever? No way!”

But less than a week later it happened, and he was collapsed in the grass, sweaty and pouty. “Who knew gardening would be so hard?!” He whined, throwing his head back like a toddler who was told they couldn’t have ice cream. You laugh, walking over and holding his chin in your hand, towering over his weak frame. Your gloves get dirt on his face, but neither of you care because his jeans have been ripped up, hair frizzy, and he even managed to cut himself with a shovel, however impossible that may seem.

“I warned you. But you insisted that you would be fine, dumbass.” “You should have forced me not too.” “I know beautiful boy. I’m sorry.” You croon, crouching down to his level. But all prior anger dissolves within him at the look in your eyes, leaning forward for a deep kiss. Despite his grown-up demeanour, the two of you still love like teenagers, hungry for each other’s touch and fragile after every little look. His tongue lurches into your mouth, exploring every nook and cranny like it’s the first time as you groan in pleasure at his unadulterated lust. You would never admit what happened next.

It's not even three months into the marriage now, and Sam wakes up to find you already up, as per usual. You stand at the window with a cup of tea in your hand, and he can smell the mouthwatering pancakes you made on the table. How he got lucky enough to have you, he’ll never know. “Good morning sexy” he teases, slinging his arms around your shoulder and looking out the window with you towards your hard work. That’s one thing he’s always admired from you… Your insane amount of dedication and resilience. When you inherited the farm, it was a battered mess, and after school he would go there with Abigail and Sebastian, always returning home with blackberry cuts and twigs in their hair. But now it is a utopia, alight with all types of plants, animals, and decorations. Plus, you managed to make an insane profit out of the whole ordeal, turning your struggle to pay the bills into shouting everyone at the saloon on someone’s birthday to a drink and a hot meal. “Have a good sleep?” You ask, looking up at him with an adoring smile. “Course, you know me.” Scoffing, you reply with a shaking head “like a baby.”

And honestly, it’s true. If Sam has one talent, it’s his ability to fall asleep in a split second. The moment the lights are off he’s obnoxiously snoring, often crushing you with his dead weight. If he was to be asked why, he would say it’s because of you. Just as much as you view him as your home, he also sees you as his. A safe haven, someone he knows will take care of him and always be there for him, no matter what.

“Like a baby.” He repeats, looking out the window with a strange, squinting expression. It confuses you, but you don’t push. After all, he just woke up. It’s not uncommon for him to struggle with opening his eyes or being a functioning human being in the morning, he’s like a bear out of hibernation. But eventually he lets you into his thoughts anyways. “Actually, I’ve been thinking… How would you feel about trying for baby. I know we are still pretty early into this whole marriage thing, but it just feels right. I don’t know. Maybe it’s dumb.”

For the first time in a long while Sam seems properly nervous, rambling his words and shuffling about. It’s nice to see that side of him, and truthfully you feel like you were at the start of the relationship too. Happy. Giddy. Excited. “Seriously?! Sam, I thought you said you wanted to take your time with that part of our life??” You place the mug down and turn to him, furrowing your brow. This unintentionally makes him panic, backing up on his words regretfully. “No, no I’m still happy for that. Sorry, I don’t know why I said that. I know I wanted to take my time. Sorry.” Your heart melts, looking at your husbands worried face. Shouldn’t he know you would never judge? You peck his cheek, holding both his hands with a tender smile. “Don’t be sorry. I’d love that.” In a split second he lifts you up into his arms, kissing your face in a variety of places as you laugh.

“Baby baby baby!” he chants, jumping up and down. Soon he practically launches you onto the bed, lying on top of you and further peppering you with kisses, that uncomfortable stitch in your side forming from your pure laughter and ecstasy. It’s safe to say the next couple of weeks are spent tirelessly trying, in between sessions of rants about how great your little family is going to be.

[graciegoeskrazy]

mine

matty healy + teen!daughter!reader

cw: mommy issues, lil yelling, crying, cursing, family secrets

an: i’m back. my b. the beginning is mid but the rest is not bad it gets better basically lol. ty to the anon who requested this. hope u enjoy :)))))

“Can I ask you something?” You asked George in the car.

“Anything.” He said.

You turned down the music and faced George over the armrest. “Who is my mother?”

“Anything but that,” he said, turning the music back up.

“George!” You said, stopping his hand. “C’mon. Just a name?”

“I should not be the one telling you who she is.”

“So you do know who she is…”

He looked at you for a second, knowing you caught him. He sighed and replied. “Yes.”

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“Ask your father.”

You sighed. “I’ve done that my whole life! He’s never given me anything. Not even a name.”

“Then what makes you think I would.”

He thought then turned to him. “Because you love me and I’m your favorite?”

“No.” He said too quickly.

He reached a red light and you reached over the armrests closer to him, trying to get him to answer and to annoy him.

“George, I’m turning 16 next week. I'm going to have a big party with all my friends over and have the time of my life, and I’m going to plan it all without my mom there.”

“Not the sob story.” He said, hands over his eyes.

“Yes, the sob story! Next year I’m gonna go to prom, and she's not gonna be there to help pick out my dress. Same for when I get married. She’s not gonna be there. I’m going to go through all of these milestones and she's not gonna be there and I will never know why. I don’t even know if she’s alive! I’ve spent the past nearly 16 years of my life wondering what she's like. Is she alive? Is she dead? Did she die during childbirth? Did she kill herself? Does she live back home? Have I met her? Is it someone that I know? I don’t fucking know because my overprotective father won't tell me shit!”

He looked at you for a minute then back at the road. You could tell you were about to break him.

“If she's alive and she doesn’t want to be a part of all those things, then at least I know that she's a bitch who didn't want to be there, instead of lying awake at night wondering.”

He sighed, and you grew hopeful.

“I don’t know much about her-”

“But you know some things…”

He looked at you, “Yeah.”

“Well?”

He pulled over. “You, my dear sweet girl, were unexpected.”

“I figured.”

“Your father had been dating someone during the end of school. We had met her a couple of times, he brought her around. It was whatever. One night, he showed up at my house, it was late. He was a sobbing mess. He told me she was pregnant and he was the father. No one knew except me and the boys. He eventually told your grandparents but they didn’t even know he had a girlfriend so that was a funny conversation.”

You held onto every word.

“She wanted to get rid of the pregnancy but she was already nearly halfway through the whole term before she found out so it was already too late. She said she wanted nothing to do with the baby so it was up to your dad to make a decision.”

“Was he gonna get rid of me?”

“He was torn. He wanted to keep going and do what he could but he also didn’t know if he could give you what you truly deserved then.”

He sighed.

“Your mother left right after she gave birth.”

Tears started forming in your eyes as you looked at George.

“Oh, bubs-”

“I’m fine- keep going.”

He sighed again. “Meanwhile, your dad took one look at his girl and fell in love. He vowed to give you everything he had and more.”

You gave him a suggesting look. He looked outside the window and the roof of the car. Anywhere but at you.

“Her name is Ayla. That’s all I know about her I swear. She never mentioned a job or a family or anything.”

You did it…

He turned to you with a serious look. “Promise me - you won’t go and look her up or cause any trouble.”

You held out your pinky.

“I promise.”

…

It’s crazy what a teenager can do with a name, the internet, and some time. It only took 15 minutes before you found her. Ayla Anderson. Age 33. Born in Manchester, lives in New York City. You were fully aware that George told you to do the exact opposite of what you were currently doing. You were also fully aware that your dad was playing Madison Square Garden in a couple of weeks and you would be in NYC along with him for 2 weeks. It was too perfect. You kept the info in tabs on your computer, occasionally looking over at it whenever you were bored. When the day came a mixture of adrenaline and anxiety took over you, not sure how to feel. Your breathing became incredibly shaky. The freezing New York City air combined with your uncontrollable anxiety became a recipe for unease once you got off the subway in Brooklyn. The 10-minute walk to the unfamiliar address was filled with emotions and questions. What if I got the person and place wrong? What if she recognizes my face instantly? What if she has kids? What if she pulls a gun on me before I speak? What if she just slams the door in my face? In a way, it made the walk seem to go by faster, but you couldn't tell if it was a good or bad thing.

The entire apartment building was filthy. Nasty floors that were covered with dirt that hadn’t been cleaned in years, walls that were filled head to toe with writings, graffiti, dirt, and even some spots of blood. The lights that were supposed to fill the hallway either had burnt-out bulbs or had broken pieces on the floor. When you arrived at the door and prepared to knock you heard the sound of cries that only could’ve been coming from a young child. You took a deep breath, closed your eyes, and knocked on the door, hoping that whatever came next would give you some answers.

“Coming.” A man’s voice answered. The door swung open and revealed a man who appeared to be in his forties wearing khakis, some band tee shirt, with a flask in hand.

You stood in shock. You had no idea who this man was. After a moment of not answering and just staring at his face, he spoke. “Can I help you?” He asked harshly.

“Um- yeah. Hi. I’m looking for Ayla Anderson.”

He nodded and walked back inside, slightly closing the door while doing so. “BABE! DOOR!”

As he disappeared from your eyesight, a woman came into view. You knew instantly. It was her.

You and your dad always looked like twins so to speak. You were the epitome of a mini Matty, but there were always some things that never made sense in terms of you inheriting them from your dad. For instance, your face shape and bone structure were completely different, your nose had a slightly different shape, and your skin tone was completely different than Matty’s. Those 3 things imparticular were staring right back at you when she opened the door.

She looked at you and spoke, obviously not recognizing who you were.

“Hi. Can I help you?”

You swallowed. “Um. Yes- are you Ayla Anderson?”

She tilted her head. “Depends.”

You smiled. Hopeful. Then spoke. “My name is y/n Healy.”

Her eyes widened when she realized your last name. You noticed the change on her face then hesitantly continued.

“Are you-“

“Please go away.” She said cutting you off.

“Are you my mom?” You said it quite loudly but you didn’t think anything of it until she shushed you and spoke in a hushed tone.

“My husband doesn’t know-“ She said, closing the door a little more as she stepped outside, hoping the man in the other room wouldn’t hear anything.

“Are you?” You asked again. Your eyes were glued to her.

“Listen, kid, you need to leave.” She went to reach for the door but you helped it open with a firm grasp.

“Are you my mother?” Your eyes and voice were full of tension.

She sighed, “Biologically…yes.” You softened just a bit. It was her. No more daydreams or fantasies of what she is or could be. It was her.

“But, in every other way shape, or form, I am nothing to you.” Her tone grew serious as she caught you off guard.

Before you could even think of how to respond, a cry coming from inside the apartment cut you off. She sighed and turned back to you. “That’s my kid, listen I-“

“You have a kid?” You asked, cutting her off.

She gave a very sad smile. She felt a wave of sadness when she realized she was handing you life-changing news. “I have 2. Yeah.” She gave a weak smile. “2 Boys.”

You slowly nodded while trying to peek inside the door. “So they’re-“

“And they don’t know you exist.” She said, cutting you off. She got serious again. “And as far as I’m concerned, they never will.”

She crossed her arms and whispered. “I’ve done so good at reshaping my past, the last thing I need is some kid coming and fucking it up.”

You stood in disbelief. How could she be this cruel?

“Why are you even here anyway? Money? You think I got money?”

“I’m not here for money.” Your voice was hoarse with tears.

“Then why are you here?”

You shrugged while continuing to cry. “To see you.” You whipped the tears and straightened up. “I wanted to see you.”

She sighed. “Yeah, well, that makes one of us.”

You were heartbroken.

She looked back into the apartment and then back to you, sighing. “Listen, kid, uh…what was your name?”

She doesn’t even know my name.

“Y/n.” You said, sadly.

“Y/n! Right. Listen, y/n. I’m sorry you came all this way for nothing. I’m sorry I can’t be the mother of your dreams or whatever the fuck you had planned in the little head of yours. Whatever you want, I can’t be that for you. Frankly, I don’t want to be.” She shook her head and sighed. “I’m being honest when I say I wish you the best of luck in life. But I truly don’t want any part in that.”

You swallowed and nodded, not having the courage to look up at her.

“Get home safely.” She said, slamming the door.

…

In the thousands of ways you pictured your mom since you were little, it sure wasn’t like this. The ride back to your and your dad’s Airbnb was faster than the ride over there. Time seems to always go faster when you are in your head. Some gave you looks as you sat quietly on the subway back, either of concern or confusion. It was New York City after all so seeing a young woman like you in your state is nothing new for some of these people. You got to your place sooner than expected and quickly wiped your tears before stepping inside. You were hopping to walk in quietly so no one would notice you but that goal was shot down when Mayhem loudly greeted you at the door. Like always, your father and George were sat at the kitchen table doing work. They said hi, not noticing your fragile state at first,

“Hey, bubs!” George said.

You mumbled a weak “Hey.” after getting up from petting the pup.

Your father took notice of your tone, as well as the dried tear stains of your cheeks. “You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, fine. I’m gonna go take a nap.” You said, as nonchalantly as possible. It didn't fool your dad and uncle though.

“What’s up with her?” George asked.

“I don’t know?” he furrowed his brows before adding, “I’ll go talk to her.”

…

As soon as you got upstairs you put your backpack down and jumped on your bed, letting out a plethora of tears you didn't know were there. You couldn't get her words out of your head, they just kept repeating in your mind. So much so that you never hear the footsteps your dad made while walking up the stairs and to your room. His knocking on the door took you out of your trance.

“Darling?” he asked.

“One sec.” You grabbed a tissue and wiped your tears quickly before going to the door and unlocking it.

He smiled at you, not saying a word.

You let out a small confused smirk. “What’s up?”

He sighed and leaned against the door frame. “How was your adventure?”

“Fine.” You replied. You held the door slightly closed, not wanting to let him in, Also giving short answers in the hope of this conversation ending quickly. You couldn't hold your emotions sin for that long.

“Fine?” He asked.

You swallowed “Yeah. Fine.”

He hummed before asking, “Where’d you go?”

“Brooklyn.” You said.

“Hm. What’s there?”

“Boring stuff. I just walked around, you know?”

He knew you were full of shit, but this felt different. He could push you the same way he was used to. This felt different. You felt…fragile. “Hm. You okay?”

“Yeah. Peachy,” you said, with a small, obviously fake, smile.

He straightened up and asked again. “You sure?”

You swallowed and slammed the door.

Matty’s suspensions were correct. “Darling, open the door.”

You were already sobbing. You locked the door and slid down it, sitting on the other side. “I can’t.”

His voice got sweet, laced with concern. “Why, love? What happened?”

At this point, George started heading up the stairs. They just heard your weeping and grew even more worried. “Please tell me, love.”

No answer.

“Darling, whatever it is, we'll figure it out. I won’t be mad I promise.”

Still, no answer.

“Are you safe? Are you hurt?”

Matty was now fearing every terrible scenario. “Y/n, please just-“

“I found her.”

He took a breath and thought before speaking, already connecting some dots.

He sighed, “Found who?” He asked, pretty confident he already knew the answer.

“Ayla.” You said, through tears,

“Y/n Healy-“

“I’m sorry! George told me her name-”

“George Daniel!”

George started to turn away but Matty grabbed him by the collar.

You spoke before he had a chance to get mad at your uncle. “She’s 33. Moved to the U.S. right after she gave birth. She lives on 1924 Larklin Street Apartment 4C in Brooklyn, New York where she lives with her two sons and husband.”

He sighed. “Oh my god-“

“George only told me her name. Don't get mad at him. I’m the one who did the research.”

He glared at George as he dropped his grip. “Did you visit her?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You hesitantly said.

“And what happened?”

The tears you thought were starting to disappear came back again at the thought of her words. “She told me to leave. Told me she doesn’t want any part in my life.”

“Fuck.” He knocked his head on the door, sighing.”

Your tears were now at a full 10 and you were slightly struggling to catch your breath. “Why was I not good enough, Dad?”

“Baby-”

“Why does she hate me?”

He sighed.

“What did I do?”

“You did nothing wrong, y/n-”

“Then why don't I have a mom?”

Matty thought then continued. “Because you don’t need her. The universe or whoever is up there knew that I and your entire family were more than capable of raising the best girl known to mankind. They knew that you were exactly what I needed, so they sent you my way with the help of some bitch named Ayla.”

“You don’t believe that do you?”

“The point is, you were sent my way for a reason, and that reason never involved Ayla.”

“You were meant for me. No one else.”

“You thought about those words for a bit and eventually your cries turned into sniffles.

“Can you open the door now?” He asked hesitantly.

You moved next to the door reached up and turned the handle, opening and unlocking it.

His heart winced when he saw you in your crying state. “Oh, my baby.”

He reached his arms out and you fell into his embrace immediately. Your head falls onto his chest. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise you.”

He pressed a kiss on your forehead.

You sat up after catching your breath. “Thank you for being mom and dad.”

He smiled and took you into another tight hug.

George appeared from around the corner and your dad playfully frowned at him.

“Never trusting your ass with family secrets again.”

You and George smiled. “Sorry mate.”

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Lunar's mental health. An update.

TW: bad mental health, EDs, depression, s/h, personal stuff, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, vent, self hate, heavy topics.

Sorry I haven't been posting!!

An update on me.

...Hi, you might know me as Lunar, or, TheLunarSystemWrites! I'm just an artist on here, trying to do things I like.... right?

Well, unfortunately, real life doesn't really... care. It doesn't care if I have friends to talk to, art to make, things I like to do.

I've been exhausted, physically and mentally. I've been busy working a lot in our home. (Painting, building, packing, inside work, cooking, etc) and it's always stressful... we're starting to get a little tight on money.

I've spent majority of my time in my bed. I don't wanna face my family members, so I've hidden away. It's hard to get up every day, and try to find the will to take care of myself.

I also recently relapsed with Bulimia, a disorder that, essentially means I throw up whatever I eat. I've been purging since September 16th, 2022. But I had awhile where I only purged once a day or none, but I'm back at it with full force. So my body doesn't have any energy left. I've also now lost my periods do to it.

I don't sleep well. It's much easier to stay up all night than waste my only free time sleeping. So I have no energy from sleeping well unless I sleep a whole day away, which makes me groggy.

Self harm is also something bothering me too, I'm too tired to do it and yet I keep doing it. Wasting precious spoons on it, I literally can't be clean for a whole year this year, that dream is dead. But, I am a few days clean as I type!

Suicidal and intrusive thoughts have been.... pesky. But I can't just leave my friends, plus I have prizes to make.

But, I'm unmotivated. I can't seem to write or draw anything. All my art is looking... regressed, to me. Everything is repetitive.

I've hated myself now more than ever in my life, I'm in a pretty bad place and I hate how self aware I am.

SPEAKING of regression! I have like, regression block. My brain isn't working with me, isn't regressing unless Involuntary. So my main coping mechanism is.... out of order.

I've been angry at the world, really pissy and moody. Tired, hungry, sad, then happy but not much. Numbness is a huge factor, I'm feeling depressed.

Not to mention, there's drama everywhere I look. This creator gets bullied, that one turns out to be disgusting. People get doxxed over opinions... it's constantly anxiety that I'll be wrongly accused, ridiculed, or abandoned. It's terrifying that people will go at each other's throats. It's exhausting to deal with it and be dragged into drama with problematic people.

Every day has been the same for me for the past 3 years. I'm tired, bored, understimulation controls me.

My friends are my lifeline right now.

I feel uncomfortable in my own body all the time, unsatisfied with my art, everything is essentially falling apart in my life.

Depression, anxiety... not a good mix to wake up disoriented and anxious, then gave zero spoons throughout the day. I'm not in a good home situation right now.

So... I kinda just... haven't been posting, role-playing, answering DMs, answering asks, etc...

I'm burnt out.

I feel like I'm a walking corpse.

Useless even.

I don't feel like myself anymore, I barely have the energy to talk to friends, every little bad things sets me back. I just can't bring myself to really engage much anymore.

So... sorry. I'm sorry, if I wasted your time. Or if this isn't like what you wanted to hear. I'm just not okay anymore, April was the last good month I had this year. APRIL.

I just wanted to update you all, there's a lot of other stuff I didn't share because it's nit important. I swear I'll get to the prizes eventually, I just ain't up to it right now. Might not be for awhile, apologies in advance!!

Hope you guys can understand, I might or might not be back to doing art, who knows. But I'll definitely get things done before that if I ever stopped. It just doesn't bring me joy, I used to hope I'd make an AU people cares about, and I've barely achieved that ^^"

Hope you're all well!! Stay safe, take care!! Remember to hydrate and to try eating if you can, you're spectacular!!!

Daily clicks!! ^^

Previous pinned post.

[clip-the-simp]

Not Much Else [Pt.2]

Ao3

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Fem!Reader

Word count: 2,233

Warnings: burning, cannibalism, canon typical violence, swearing, slight angst, unwanted touch (not from The Ghoul), (I’m bad at warning tags so just let me know if I need/should to add some)

Tags: Mild Proofreading, eventual smut (if I can get the balls to write it), reader had bat wings, Bounty Hunting, deviation from TV show, pre!show events(?), (Again I'm bad at tags so let me know)

Summary: You're a vault experiment that makes it to the surface. Quickly you learn the lay of the land and a few years later end up working the same bounty as The Ghoul. You convince him to let you take a long after having a feeling that you just had to follow him. Where will this story lead? Only time (and my motivation) will tell.

A/N: This is part 2 to the cringy ass shit I call a fanfic. Be forewarned that this is going to be incredibly inaccurate to cannon events and really unrealistic honestly. But listen. If Lucy can have her finger zapped back on and working properly anything can happen.

The pair of you had been traveling for two days by the time you caught wind of the target's whereabouts. After stopping at several towns to get supplies and information, you had been pointed east, away from the coast. He was trying to get over the mountains, or what remained of them, in order to get as far out of town as possible.

Once knowing this, The Ghoul and yourself continued on. Not much had been said in the two days of traveling together. You didn’t take The Ghoul for much of a talker so you kept your thoughts to yourself in hopes of not disturbing his peace. Most of your time was spent pondering over that feeling that continued to linger.

The familiarity from before continued to pluck at your thoughts the more you took in The Ghoul’s demeanor. Surely he couldn’t be someone from your past. There was no way someone could live over a hundred years, but maybe there was. With some of the other people and creatures you had encountered, maybe there was a possibility. This world was odd like that, and you had heard that The Ghoul was a lot older than most. So just maybe he was someone you truly recognize, however the wasteland changes people. Let alone someone who had been doing this for over a century.

So one night after you had settled at the ruins of a worn gas station and started to fix a meal, you decided to pry. It was a difficult situation. You couldn't be too blunt or he would quickly shut you down. However you couldn't tiptoe too much or he would get agitated and again shut you down.

Having managed to haggle some ingredients off someone at the market in the last town you were in, it could make for a good bargaining point with The Ghoul. Perhaps if you gave him a good meal he would loosen up a bet to talk. You had been contemplating the proper way to ask your questions the whole time you sat over the pot of stew. So when the food was done, you spooned out a bowl full of the stew for The Ghoul and waited a moment before to ask your questions.

“So, how long have you been wastelanding?” You started, making a bowl for yourself and blowing on it lightly to cool it off. The Ghoul was already a few bites in before dividing to take the chance of prying for information, and when you did he stopped momentarily to stare at you. His shoulders straightened as the bowl in his hands lowered to his lap.

“Why y’asking?” He asked bluntly as his expression stayed stone cold. The blood in your veins felt cooler than before as your gaze left his to reside on the bowl in your hands.

“I-” You didn’t want to lie, but you also didn’t want to scare him off. However, you could feel The Ghoul’s gaze burning into you as you searched for an answer. Against your better judgment, you decided to be upfront.

“I just have this feeling that I know you is all. Maybe that’s why I wanted to follow you in the first place.” Your eyes rose to meet The Ghoul’s once again only to find his expression to no longer be cold but instead a bit sorrowful. However that moment was brief as he asked you another question.

“What makes y’think that?” His voice was not as harsh as it usually was. It was as if he was trying to remember, just as you were, who you could’ve been to him in a past life. That sudden change in him sent a pinged of pain through your heart. You couldn’t help but feel a bit bad for making him recall the old life he once had.

“Your demeanor just reminds me of a man I once knew.” You said. Setting your bowl to the side, you remove the goggles from your eyes only now realizing they still lingered on your face even after the sun had fallen. Your gaze lingered on them for a while before you began to speak again.

“He was popular in western films back in the day and I had the pleasure of Co-starring in a few films with him. He was a good man which wasn’t too surprising.” You chuckled to yourself as you remember the time you had tripped over the bottom of the costume dress you were wearing on set. Cooper Howard had caught you mid fall and the two of you joked about it a bet after.

“It’s funny now that I think about it. If I placed you two side by side there wouldn't actually be much that y’all have in common. Maybe the cowboy physique but that's about it.” When you looked back up, The Ghoul’s gaze was trained on you. It was full of mixed emotions that were balancing sadness and anger. Guilt settled itself low in your chest as you realized perhaps you had gone too far. Picking your bowl up, you quickly raised it to your lips and started to drink some of it. Hoping to relieve some of the tension in the air.

“I’ve been doing this shit for over 100 years. The waste land changes people.” The Ghoul finally answered your question. His voice was still angry but the somber undertone didn't go unnoticed. As the two of you continued to sit in silence, the man sitting across from you, past the fire, spoke.

“I’ll take first watch.” The Ghoul grumbled as he finished his soup and went to spoon the last of the stew into his bowl. A worry he was going to leave in your sleep crossed your mind and as you began to voice your concern he spoke before you.

“I’m not gonna leave y’stranded. We have a lot of ground to cover tomorrow. So sleep.” The Ghoul growled the last bet which caught you off guard but definitely got the point across. You leaned against a rusted gas pump while pulling your wings over your arms and partially over your legs. It never took you long to fall asleep, but the guilt from hurting your traveling companion lingered. You wanted to make it right but reasoned you could mend things while traveling again tomorrow.

An abrupt crash caused you to wake up with a start, but before you could get your bearings, there was a heavy weight on you that hadn't been there before. It had you pinned to the ground as your senses came back to you and you realized it was a raider. The fire was still blazing which allowed you to see the man on top of you clearly. He was barking orders to his group which you weren’t coherent enough to make out.

“Get off me!” You shouted as you squirmed to fight against the man’s hold on you, the ground digging into your back. Your pulse pounding in your ears as panic washed over you. How had they gotten the jump on us? Your eyes frantically looked for The Ghoul only to see him lying face down in the sand. It was far too dark and you were in far too much of a panic to focus on if he was breathing or not.

“Aren’t you a pretty sight?” The raider leader said as he leaned down and ran his tongue up the side of your neck to your ear. At that moment instinct kicked in as you turned your head and bit down into the raider’s cheek when he was pulling away. Your teeth, having been abnormally sharp canines, beat through the flesh with ease and left a large hole in his face. The chunk of meat was left in your mouth as he jerked back in pain and held his face.

Taking that opportunity you got out from under the man but quickly yanked him up as you went to promptly throw him in the fire. His screams as he hit the flames alerted his group who quickly pulled out their weapons to attack. The fire was being smothered by the man writhing in it which put your opponents at a disadvantage. You spat out the flesh that remained in your mouth and beard your teeth, now stained with blood. Most of the raiders carried knives and close ranged weapons which only put them at an even greater disadvantage, as long as you stayed out of range.

You pulled out the pistol holstered at your thigh as you aimed and fired the first round. The bullet landed square in the chest of the raider closest to where The Ghoul laid motionless. As the body fell the other two charged in your direction which you quickly ducked away from and led them out from under the gas station canopy. They quickly followed suit as they chased after you. Not wanting to take a chance of them ripping your wings you stayed nimble on your feet.

Firing off another two rounds, one landed in the thigh of the farthest while the second lodged in the shoulder of the other. They continued to come after you which led to the last fatal two shots fired, but not before the one closest to you managed to swipe his blade across your forearm and leave a trail of blood running down your arm.

You quickly applied pressure to the wound as the bodies fell and you ran over to The Ghoul’s side. The man in the fire was no longer a threat and was burned bloody. Examining The Ghoul you realized he was still alive, but saw a bruise beginning to form on the back of his head. The raiders must’ve been hiding out and waiting.

What had The Ghoul so distracted he didn’t see them? You thought to yourself as you sat up. Rummaging through your bag you looked for your med kit to wrap your arm. It was going to be hard to bandage the arm with only one hand to work with but you would make do.

The Ghoul had been out for the rest of the night which worried you as you kept watch for him to recover. However, when morning arrived he came too and in a bet of a panic at that. His weapon was immediately in his hand as he waved it around looking for the raiders. You had already taken care of the bodies and harvested whatever meat you could manage off of them along with any supplies they could’ve had.

“What happened?” The Ghoul demanded as he leaned back on the wall behind him. You had flipped him over while he was sleeping so he wouldn't be lying face down in the dirt all night. His demeanor and frantic actions had startled you a bet so had your hands raised in defense.

“Raiders must’ve been camping out and ambushed us in the middle of the night. I took care of them.” You lowered your hands as he returned his gun to its holster and rubbed the back of his head. Slowly, you brought forward a makeshift bag filled with the remains of the raiders. You took it upon yourself to dry out the meat last night as you kept watch, not wanting to fall back asleep by accident. The Ghoul raised an eyebrow as his gaze moved from the bag, to you, then to your bandaged forearm.

“I figured if you don’t want it, someone in the next town will.” You explained as realization slipped into The Ghoul’s expression. Tossing it over to him, he looked in the bag to find what he was expecting.

“Well look at that. Looks like y’have more uses than y’let on.” His voice was teasing as he wrapped the meat backup and found a place for him to carry it. The Ghoul stood as he checked his belongings. Soon after, stretching to relieve the ache in his body from being shuffled around while unconscious.

“I got a lot of talents if you’re looking to test my limits.” You chuckled lightly as you stood up from your spot near the burnt out fire. Gathering your belongings, you quickly stretched your wings before tucking them back under your jacket. Your eye’s met with The Ghoul’s which caused you to startle as you saw the expression it held. It wasn’t something you had seen on him before, but it looked almost hungry as he smirked at you.

He began to walk closer to you leading to you stepping back into the gas pump you had been sleeping on. Your eyes rose to hold The Ghoul’s stair as he leaned forward to your ear. Worry settled into your veins as you wondered if he could hear the pounding in your heart against your rib cage.

“Maybe I should, darlin.” He whispered before turning away and beginning to trek into the wasteland. A deep red plagued your face as you tried to get your bearings. Why did he do that? Was he trying to rile you up? No he couldn’t have been. Could he?

“Come on now! Don’t make me wait on y’.” You heard The Ghoul shout over his shoulder as you realized he was already far ahead of you. Quickly gathering your composure, and throwing your goggles over your eyes, you ran after him to catch up.

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 2

much shorter episode this week! probably because it consisted mostly of golf so they decided between this and team torque they would have mercy on us and cut most of it. still lots to work with though. obviously. because it's them.

love a little throwback to episode one, we've got "genuinely trying to go along with the program and introduce the gist of the show" and "so completely zoned out you'd have better luck getting the attention of a cat chasing a laser" except this time it's switched up. i'm pretty sure alex does like a maximum of three introductions out of the whole series, if that, so you just know they said, "Logan, do you want to go first?" and he put on the most nonchalant amiable expression and said "Hmm... I think Alex should go first since I did it the last time" and then alex just glares daggers at him but knows he can't throw a fit about it in front of the crew and logan's smiling ear-to-ear like "what you gonna do about it?" oh, and also, last week they were even leaning back on the same couch and literally giving "two bros chillin in a hot tub five inches apart cause they're not sure if the other is gay" BUT here we are standing up no couch no excuse and logan's just "you're my new center of gravity now". okay. okay sure.

Alex (already done with this, looking GENUINELY distressed): "It's windy out here, we don't have real golfballs so it's gonna go everywhere..."

Logan: "You're a lot better at golf than me, so I expect you to do well."

WHOA alright. first of all from everything we got so far (not a lot) the main dynamic seems to be: logan acting confident and cocky and arrogant just to annoy alex and also gazing at him with the most endearing/loving/shit-eating expressions, and alex being awkward and out of his comfort zone and taking it too seriously but eventually losing his focus because he can't help but smile back at logan. which i LOVE. but alex is already getting frustrated before the challenge begins and logan is like what... comforting him? reassuring him? boosting his confidence? "i expect you to do well" whole body turned completely to face him. like dammmn alright breaking the theme a little but that's honestly so sweet... also should i mention that we are literally less than thirty seconds into the video and they're already facing AWAY from the camera and TOWARDS each other. and in a few seconds they'll literally turn around to talk to each other looking at the game setup like this is not how you do media you guys know this and yet

(Golf session ends, Logan wins because Alex spent the whole time grappling with the wind)

Logan: "Alright, well... as you saw, little bit of a dominant display there..."

and then he has to abandon that sentence immediately because they both start laughing, like straight up giggling almost breathless like "wait did i really just say that out loud" "did he really just say that out loud" and logan turns RIGHT into alex AGAIN because he's watching every possible reaction plain on alex's face 😂 like alex is both startled and amused and endeared and very incredulous. at one point he straight-up looks at the camera and raises his eyebrows like "oh yeah? WAS it though? can you BELIEVE this guy look at him he doesn't even believe himself" like I CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP. honestly i'm just gonna have to make a gif of it because it's so- it's just so obvious.

oh my god, that's just– this is just adorable. this is gonna be my lockscreen i swear because look at them. alex is still laughing trying not to but that earlier comment just threw him off and logan is leaning into him purposely pushing his arm against alex's (he does it twice) and he's just so happy he 1) made alex laugh 2) made alex FLUSTERED jesus christ get that boy some water and 3) got away with it. this is what i meant about logan being alex's turnaround point. he literally lost at the golf game just like he was worried he would and yet here he's the most happy and comfortable he's been all video

okay let's round it off with– alex what the FUCK is this posture. i was going to take a ss already because of how close he leaned into logan (we know you can see the goddamn ipad alex you aint slick) and THEN he did this. shoulders slanted. hand on the hip. face like the gay best friend about to judge the shit out of the guy you're falling for. what in the actual fuck is going on here i mean i was so not ready for the amount of cunt that was served in a literal shift of position. also can we talk about how alex is literally built like a spaghetti noodle and the height difference is very very obvious but here he's throwing out ✨that hip✨ and they're definitely closer to the same height? that is both adorable and just absolutely ridiculous and i'm loving every second of it. the fact that logan is entirely oblivious just makes it funnier.

the smiles, guys. the smiles. i'm breaking my own heart rewatching these but god fucking dammit james vowels i'll take what i can get.

episode 3

[rafferty3207]

omg I'm the anon who requested the jamie x reader neighbours fic and boy you delivered! fucking love it! can't wait for part 2

This is so lovely anon, I'm so glad you liked it!!! For you, I will deliver a part two with the caveat that I'm so sorry I got carried away and now it will be in three parts (sorry again), but the last part will be the finale!!! Anyway I present to you:

Too Good to Be True (part two)

read part one here

warnings: allusions to abuse, mention of anxiety/panic attack, daddy issues, two hopeless idiots flirting, a bit of angst at the end but worth it (sorry again)

A/N: I have nothing to add except this gif is not mine and has turned me feral

It’s been several days since you left your phone number and you are nervous. 

You don’t get why you care so much.

It’s just Jamie, your annoying neighbour. Your annoying, but also extremely handsome neighbour. Your annoying, handsome neighbour who massaged your feet, and your legs, and almost your thighs and god you couldn’t think straight. You’d been able to get nothing done as you had spent the last few days just constantly replaying that evening in your head. And to make things worse, it turns out Annoying Handsome Jamie was in fact a very famous Premier League footballer. Who has also been caught having sex on TV. (Yes, you had binged the entirety of his Lust Conquers All series since that night, but that was neither her nor there.) 

After almost a week you had given up. The exhibition was just under two weeks away and you hadn’t seen him in the garden or outside the house at all. He had probably come to the conclusion that you were both too weird and too normal for him and the only conclusion was move on with your life and forget his stupid sexy face ever existed, when you got a text. 

u free tonight

Jxoxo

Of course, you wanted to play it cool. After all, you had spent the entirety of the week waiting for this message.

29 minutes and 59 seconds later.

I might be.

The phone immediately pings.

do u not know??

xoxo

Depends, what are you thinking?

thought u wanted a model

Xoxo

Of course, he was thinking about the painting. As you also definitely were. You were a professional artist. Almost.

What time?

ill come after the match

You spend your evening preparing and also perhaps figuring out an outfit that says 'casual bohemian artist that definitely doesn't care' while redoing your makeup twice. However, as the hours stretch on and on and on you are at the point of giving up and going to bed, when the doorbell finally rings.

You race down, before waiting a minute, quickly checking yourself in the mirror and pulling out your phone to pretend you had already been looking at something when you open the door.

But before you can pull the casual act, he walks right past you.

“Hello to you too, Jamie.”

He strides into your living room where the canvas is set up and immediately starts taking his clothes off.

“Woah, what do you think you’re doing there?”

“Er, I thought you were painting nudes?”

“Er no-”  At this point his shirt has already come off and he’s starting to unbutton his trousers. Of course he is very toned, with tanned arms and neck where his football shirt has been. You feel the breath knocked out of your body, glimpsing the very top of his boxers as you struggle for words.. He looks at you confused. Eventually you stutter an answer. "K-Keep the trousers on, okay?” 

“What should I do then?”

“What do you mean?”

“How do I pose, like?” You shrug.

“However you want to, Jamie.”

“I dunno what I want.” You sigh.

“You just need to stand there and look pretty.”

“Well I do that all the time, so.”

“Great. So just…keep doing that.”

Jamie smiles to himself.

“What is it?”

“So you do think I’m pretty?” He smirks at you. You fold your arms.

“What are you, a sixteen year old girl Jamie?” You start sketching. “Besides, you know what you look like.” You go back to drawing in silence. You swear you see his cheeks dust pink for a second before he ouffs his chest back out and smiles.

“Aren’t you going to ask if I think you’re pretty?”

You freeze.

“No, because if you haven’t noticed, I’m not sixteen. I am an adult woman and I don’t need random men for unsolicited affirmation, no matter how pretty they are.”

Jamie opens his mouth, before closing it again. Maybe that was a bit harsh, but what else could you say? Tell me how pretty you think I am Jamie. Or better yet, show me. I’m dying to know. You could practically feel the feminism leaving your body.

You dismiss these thoughts and get back to sketching. You can see Jamie is looking down and acting fidgety, swinging his arms.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake.” You walk over and plant your arms on his shoulders. He is surprisingly warm and firm to the touch, and you try not to blush. “Is it okay if I move you?”

He nods, surprisingly quiet. You turn him ever so slightly, before gently pushing him down onto your stool. As you move one of his (very muscly) arms, you swear you feel a slight tremor. Was he shaking? You step a little closer, a hand on his back. 

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, Jamie.”

His face hardens.

“But I said I will, so I will.”

“But you don’t have to. Only do this if you want to.” You smile at him, and his face softens again.

“I do want to, trust me. It’s just been a long day.”

“Okay, but if you need to stop or take a break, just say the word.”

You step back to your canvas. You try to focus solely on the drawing, but every time he looks at you, you find your whole body heating up. Despite this, you steal glances anyway. He stares at you constantly, in a way that makes you feel stupid and giggly. Observing all the soft and hard lines of his body, you eventually start to notice small scars all over his body until you reach his hands. You don’t know why it took you so long to notice, but his knuckles are slightly bruised.

“Jamie?”

“Yeah?” 

“Tell me about your day.”

“Why? It was dead boring.”

“I don’t know. I find it helps me find the right mood.” You prepare your brushes. “You know, it tells me what colours to use.”

“Oh. I mean, nothing much happened.” He looks down at his feet. “I got up, went to play football, came here.”

“But why did you text me? Why today?”

“I dunno.” You sit in silence for a moment, as you mix the colours. “I mean, my dad came to the match.”

“Right.”

“Pulled his usual shit.”

“Usual shit?”

“Just being a complete dickhead.” You start painting. 

“In what way?”

“Saying stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“Just the usual stuff.”

“You keep saying “usual” Jamie. I don’t think whatever he said is usual for most people.”

“What about your dad? He said that thing about you being a teacher right? Because you couldn’t paint or summat?” You put your brush down. 

“Yeah he did say that. He says a lot of shit, none of which I would consider usual. Or at least it shouldn’t be.” You step off your chair and towards Jamie, reaching gently for his hand. “We don’t just have to take this shit, you know.”

“I don’t fucking take it!” He pulls away. You flinch back. He looks alarmed as he realises. “I should go.” He starts to walk out.

“Jamie, I didn’t mean to upset you -” You walk after him as he paces towards the door. He halts at the entrance.

“I’m not upset,  I just - I came here because I didn’t want to think about my dad. When I’m with you, I never think about him. Or anything else, really.” He pauses. “I’m sorry.” Before you can reply, he runs off. 

The next few days pass by. You send a few texts to Jamie, but no reply. The exhibition is only a couple of days away now, so you try to keep yourself busy. But his words won’t stop swirling in your head to the point you struggle to sleep. So you do what you always do: paint. 

It’s not until one of these nights when you're up late at the canvas that you glance out of the window. Your heart stops. Someone is lying in Jamie's garden, very still. You dare to look closer. Is that..Jamie? He looks glassy eyed. He can't have...Without thinking, you run down.

"Jamie! Jamie!" Your heart is thumping in your ears so loudly you can't hear anything else. "Jamie are you okay?" You ask as you scramble to climb the fence. However just as you are almost over, you catch your foot, spectacularly falling over it into the bushes.  You hear that trademark laugh.

"Why are you laughing? I thought you were dead, dipshit!" You say, crawling out of the shrubbery. 

He remains lying down but he’s smiling at you now.

"Why would you think I was dead?"

"Why are you lying in your garden on your back completely still at 2am? Let's not pretend this is normal." You crawl down next to him.

“You’re going to think I’m stupid.”

“No I won’t.”

He looks away from you.

“I mean everyone else does, why wouldn’t you?”

“I don’t think they do.”

“There’s my dad. Plus, I’ve read Twitter.”

“You know how I feel about your dad and Twitter is full of very stupid people. But never mind them. I can promise you I don’t. And let’s be honest, I’m the only opinion that matters.” He scoffs as you offer him a pinky. But, he puts his pinky in yours before looking back up at the night sky.

"I can't get up."

"What? Are you injured?"

“No…I dunno, I told you it was stupid."

“It's clearly not that stupid. Are you okay Jamie?”

"I dunno. I was thinking about the other night with you and my dad and then I came outside because I needed some fresh air and then I lay down and started thinking about everything and now it feels like I'm stuck here. It's stupid -"

“Stop saying that.” You lie down and grab his hand. “Sometimes when you've gone through some shit, it comes out of your body in weird ways. But you're okay. We can stay here for as long as you like, but when we get up, you will be able to.”

He nods, and the two of you lie there holding hands in silence. You take some deep breaths and he follows. Eventually a small voice pipes up.

“I think I can go in now.”

You sit up and slowly pull him.

"See?"

He smiles at you gingerly before he looks down.

“You’re bleeding.”

“Huh?”

You look down. Both your knees are cut, along with one of your palms and your wrist.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” 

He gently holds your wrist up to the light. He looks sad.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I need to work on my graceful dismount. Either that or just walk around to the back door.”

“I mean, I dunno, I think you could give Simone Biles a run for her money.” You swat him.

“Oi, you cheeky shit! Next time I’ll just leave you for dead.”

“I think the blood loss is going to your head, we should treat that ASAP.” He leads you into his house. “I think I’ve got a first aid kit upstairs.”

He starts walking up and you follow him. He seems surprised. You realise your error.

“Oh, I can wait downstairs if you like.”

“Er, no, it’s fine.” He steps into a bedroom and starts rummaging around in what is clearly an ensuite bathroom. You sit on the edge of his bed and look around. There’s pictures of him and his mum, as well as some pictures with the team and one with a slightly older moustachioed man.

“Is that your dad?”

He pokes his head out and laughs. 

“No, that’s our coach Ted.” You look up at him. “He’s a nice guy though. Annoyingly nice. Almost too nice, if you know what I mean.”

“Right.” It was clear Jamie was soft on this man, but you wouldn’t push it today. He sits down and starts gently wiping the cuts. It is the same tenderness he held your foot, and it is the same tenderness that is slowly melting your heart. If you didn’t know any better, you would think you were starting to fall for Jamie Tartt.

You yawn as he applies the final plaster. “Right, you need to go to sleep.” He says, through his own yawn.

"I could say the same for you"

You sit up to leave, but hesitate. YOu feel Jamie’s about to say something.

“Hey, I don’t suppose.. You’d maybe fancy…”

You turn around.

“Staying around?”

Jamie looks at you pleadingly.

“No funny business I promise.” He looks up and offers you a pinky.

“What if I want funny business?”

“Eh?”

“I’m just messing with you Jamie. Besides, I’ve already stolen your knickers anyway.”

“Someone told me that’s a weird thing to say to people.”

“Well, that person sounds very wise.” You look around. “Can I use your bathroom?”

He gestures towards it and you go in. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you think: what the fuck is going on here? You splash some water on your face and tell yourself to get a grip.

“There’s a spare toothbrush in the blue pot if you need it.” Jamie calls through the door.

“Ew gross Jamie, I don’t want to use one of your many girlfriend’s toothbrushes!”

“I’ll have you know that’s brand new as I don’t have any girlfriends at the moment. Although there are sanitary towels if you need them love.”

“Piss off you patronising git!”

“‘Ey, I was trying to be nice and a good feminist and that.”

You brush your teeth before coming out and leaning against the doorframe.

“No girlfriends? What happened to the Island’s top scorer?”

He groans before flopping back onto the bed.

“I thought you didn’t know who I was.”

“I’ve been doing my research.” You get into the bed next to him. He flashes you a dirty grin.

“Bet you have, you little perv.”

“Me? The perv? What you did in that jacuzzi was a crime to my eyes, and probably in several countries.”  

“Woah, you have been doing your research - that was like episode 42? 43?”

“What can I say, you make good television?”

Jamie pulls the duvet back before hovering for a moment. 

“You don’t have to do this, you know.” He gestures to the bed.

“I know. But I’ve been in your position before, and I really needed a friend back then. And I think you would do the same.”

“Any time.”

You squeeze his hand.

“Now go to sleep, you menace.”

“Aye aye captain.”

____

You wake up and find yourself once again not in your own bedroom. In fact, not only are you not in your own bedroom, but you appear to be cuddling Jamie Tartt. You panic silently. Your leg is swung over his, while his arm is draped over you. You try to move, but still asleep, he squeezes you a little tighter. And then something really surprising happens.

He kisses you. Just a little kiss on the forehead, but your chest is fluttering.  You hate to admit it but, it feels just so natural. You’re so content and relaxed in his arms then…

Fuck. You fell back asleep. You’re in the exact same problem as before.

This time however, you are both awoken by Jamie’s phone going off. He reaches to switch it off, eyes still closed, but then it rings again. And again. The third time his eyes shoot open.

“Shit!”

“What is it?” You ask from behind bleary eyes.

“The match!”

You slowly sit up and watch him run around and get dressed, silently handing him things on occasion. He runs downstairs and you plod along after him, still half asleep. He runs out of the door, before abruptly stopping and turning around.

“Aren’t you going to wish me good luck or something?”

You wrinkle your nose at him in confusion.

“I don’t need to. You’re going to smash it anyway.”

“How do you know that?”

You shrug and smile. 

“I just know.”

At this point, he strides right up to you, before cupping your face in both his hands. 

“Jamie what are -” Before you can finish, he kisses you, hard. Your eyes flutter closed and you melt into the kiss, before he pulls away, but only just. His arm reaches around the small of your back and his forehead touching yours, he whispers.

“Wait for me.”

He runs off to his car, and you stroke your bottom lip, where you trace the swell of where he used to be.

Your heart is still pounding and you are unsure what to do with yourself, so you try to make yourself at home. You take a very long, hot shower before getting changed. Of course, you didn’t have any clothes here, so you find some pyjama shorts along with one of Jamie’s old jerseys.

You sit down to watch the match. You had never really gotten into football, but now you were glued to the screen. You couldn’t believe that the little Jamie on screen was the same one who shared a bed with you last night. And the same Jamie that kissed you…

The game is electric, and Jamie in particular is the standout player. Even the commentators remark on his zest this match as he keeps skilfully weaving through the players to lead Richmond into not one, not two but three goals.

Once the match is done, you watch, still glued to your seat when Jamie is invited to an interview.

“Jamie the way you played today was extraordinary, against Man City too. If you don’t mind us asking, what happened?”

“Ah well, I was really inspired by Simone Biles. She’s honestly changed my life.” At that moment, he turns straight to the camera, grins and winks, and you feel like he’s somehow winking right at you. Your heart skips a beat. You were really in trouble.

You look at your phone and Jamie Tartt is trending. Simone Biles herself has already tweeted reminding everyone she is a married woman and has never met Jamie. There are plenty of other women, including some famous other gymnasts and celebrities offering their Biles-like services to Jamie in some rather explicit tweets. You wonder if Jamie reads these ones too.

You walk to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea and as you wait for the kettle to boil, you look at Jamie’s calendar. There’s all sorts of notes, primarily training and matchs but you notice your exhibit is there too, with a little heart drawn around it. Jamie never stopped surprising you. But then a cold shock goes down your spine. You remembered today’s date. You are meant to be going to the gallery this evening to plan the exhibition. Shit. You check the time. You’ve still got three hours left, but you need to get back into your flat ASAP. You scramble around before realising that you had left your phone in the flat last night in the chaos to get out. But you also remembered Jamie and what he had said.

Wait for me.

You write a little note and stick it on the fridge.

____

Jamie comes back way later than he planned. Of course, after the match, there were drinks and celebrations but he couldn’t concentrate on them, just trying to leave to get back to you. He finally manages to break away, but when he gets home, he finds the living room empty. He searches around the rest of the house, and you are nowhere to be found. He checks his phone. No messages. He gets a message through from Keeley about how he’s trending online. 

Of course he sees all the Simone Biles stuff and smiles to himself. He made a note to send Simone Biles a message in future, if this all worked out. Then he sees all the stuff other women are saying online. A lot of it is quite graphic and he wondered what you’d think. He imagined the two of you laughing together at them. Then he sees. The tabloids are already speculating. Not only do they actually think he’s having an affair with Simone Biles, but they have already posted some paparazzi shot of him with Keeley, along with long extensive timelines of his tumultuous dating history. His stomach drops. Anyone would run away if they saw this much baggage.

He tries to ring you. Once, twice, three times, No pick up. He’s desperate and pacing, until he realises he can just walk over to your front door. He rings the bell several times, before loudly knocking. Still nothing.

He can’t believe how much he’s fucked it. He knew he shouldn’t have kissed you, but he couldn't help it. No one had made him feel like this, like he was going crazy but also that he was calmer than he had ever been, like riding a lifeboat in the centre of the storm. As he walks back into his flat and into his kitchen, he doesn’t see the small corner of a note that has fallen under the fridge. He checks his phone again. 

Still nothing. What could he do?

____

Sorry for the angst kids, hope it was worth it and the finale will be juicy!! lmk if you want to be tagged in the final part!! Not sure if I've done these tags right, apols if not!!

@skewedcherries @e-mmygrey @reading-blogs @alex-sulli @cameoutstruggling93 @sqrlgrl22 @maydayfigment @aiyaiy @alipap3 @okkkkkkksure @city-of-cards

[nominzn]

Try Hard II

punk bassist!jeno x female!reader genre: fluff wc: 2k part I - part III a/n: this is a bit longer than I'd planned and maybe there's too much chenji best friend agenda. I did it for me and my fellow chenji baddies. this is so cute and honestly i hope you read it well <3disclaimers: mentions of piercings, some swearing. i'm not sorry for having done these edits of jeno with a labret piercing.

[6:58am] 

jisung: wake the fuck up  jisung: we’re gonna be late jisung: cmon LOSER jisung: fr i don’t wanna come into your room jisung: i’m gonna lose my mind and scream if you don't get up rn

the faint buzz under the pillow rolled you out of your sleep, lazily you got the electronic device in your hands, seeing your friend’s notifications. shit, you thought. snoozing would get you in trouble once again. great.

getting out of bed was harder than you thought. dragging your feet, you made your way towards the door so as to open it for jisung. he sighed in relief upon seeing you and happily got in after you motioned for him to enter the space. “you gotta stop snoozing. for real.” he whispered, not wanting to get on your bad side so early. you mumbled ‘good morning to you too’ in response. he chuckled lightly and watched as you gathered your things to get ready.

-

after that day’s lecture, having cooled off from the hectic run to avoid being late, chenle, jisung and you were hanging out near some other students on campus. the bodypiercer placed a finger under your chin and took a closer look at your recent piercing. “how’s it healing?”

“is it what you wanted?” his question implied another meaning, which you acknowledged by his discreet wink. 

you held back a grin, glancing away from your friends. and as if the universe was trying to play a prank on you, you see him. confidently walking around one of the halls heading the opposite direction from the three of you. his bass kept him company, as usual. jeno probably felt your eyes on him because he quickly scanned the area over his shoulder seemingly looking for something he didn’t find.

“it is.” you said to your friend, who smirked, realizing you understood his intentions. “but I’ve got to try harder, you know?”

“isn’t it just soap and saline solution to clean up? how the hell could you try harder than that?” jisung pointed out and both you and chenle grinned knowingly, nodding at his direction at the same time. “you’re weird.”

“what’s up, renjun?” the purple haired announced the third boy’s proximity. he held a friendly smile on his lips as he took the remaining steps towards the group to have a seat next to you. 

renjun was the coolest and sweetest guy on campus, everybody knew him for outdoing all other international relations students and for his insane parties. the boy went all for having fun and making the most of his college experience while working his ass off to be the best he could be. just impossible, people would say. nobody dared to say a bad thing about him, though; hoping to God to be invited to one of his famous events. that had never been a problem for you. since chenle was his childhood friend, you eventually became friendly with each other. 

“you’re coming on saturday?” he asked, expectant eyes looking at each of you, when he landed on your forced grin. “no! you’re coming!” he shook his head negatively. “please? louise is gonna be there, you’re the closest thing to a friend she has.” louise was his situationship and the girl from the same class you’d been hanging out with since she transferred. “please?” 

you tried looking away from the three pair of eyes that expected your answer, already acknowledging no wasn’t possible. it’d been a while since you went out and spent time with lou and some other friends. “alright, alright! i’m going.”

-

jeno’s fingertips were sore from playing his acoustic bass by now, but he didn’t mind. he’d been absentmindedly following the melody of creep by radiohead, his favorite song. it wasn’t like he didn’t notice people were intimidated by him frequently and that had never bothered him, not until it stopped him from being closer to someone he liked. 

he became hyper aware of people taking glances at him and moving awkwardly to the side so he could go on walking. also the stutters when he asked to take part in group projects, which never lasted long after people got to know him, started to annoy him a lot. most of the time they seemed to think he was tough and mean, even though that was far from the truth. 

the boy even considered changing his style, quitting the band or whatever change he could make to seem more likable. however, that was just who he was, so he was trying to shut up those foolish ideas by drowning himself in music once again. 

ARCADERS AKA BEST BAND ever 

haechan: bow down to ur king haechan: SUMMONING THIS BAND where r y’all haechan: fr i need to tell u guys smth haechan: URGENT SOS HELLO R U THERE

jeno: what the fuck is this about 

no sooner did the non-stop dings coming from the phone on the floor broke his trance, than he was checking the band’s group chat.

jaemin: this is good jaemin: he’s not joking

jisung: well where is he now

haechan: glad to know i’m so loved

jisung: uhm embarrassing ..?

haechan: n e ways got us a gig on thursday

jaemin: TELL THEM WHERE IT IS

jeno: hope it’s not wild’s hated playing there 

haechan: i’d tell u to guess but i’m just losing my mind  haechan: it’s ANL 

jisung: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT 

haechan: yeah invite chenle and our groupie she’s got to be there

chenle, jisung and you were on the way back home when the tallest suddenly stopped on his track, staring at his phone screen for a few minutes, white as a sheet. having no idea what was going on, you tried shaking him and asking what was going on a few times but he just smiled brightly and turned his messages for both of you to read.

“oh my GOD!” you yelled.

“NO WAY, JISUNG! ARCADERS AT ANL.”

“you guys HAVE to be there!” his friends ruffled his hair lovingly.

-

you were alone at the bar, waiting for your fifth drink to be done. the atmosphere tonight was exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. the band was already backstage getting ready for they’d play soon, but oh were they shaking. they had been waiting for this opportunity for quite some time, it almost didn’t feel real for them. ANL was the biggest pub around and it was well-known for having introduced the best local rock musicians.

the bartender handed the beautiful pink drink to you and your journey to meet your friends in the back started. the place was packed, so walking was difficult. you recognized a few faces on the way and had a few dialogs here and there. many friends of the boys stopped you to ask about them or wish good luck. 

you entered a door and found them inside the small room, haechan being the first to see you. “GROUPIE!” he exclaimed and the boys turned around to see you at the door. jisung sighed in relief and clung onto you.

“i’m so nervous.” the words slipped out of his lips when his face was buried in your hair. 

“you can do this, ji. you’re the best drummer. our rockstar!” you could feel his smile on his cheek, then he let you go to say your hellos.

you scanned the room almost as bright eyed as them, stopping at jeno. he looked so… good, it took everything in you not to look like a fool. the chains on his neck complemented his pretty eye makeup so well, not to mention the leather jacket hugging his strong arms and back. you couldn’t help but notice his lips were glistening and a new black jewelry was there, a labret piercing. of course he noticed you staring, but you only realized that when your eyes found his. this time, neither of you looked away. the intensity flickering in his orbs woke the damn butterflies in your stomach and you had to fight back the urge to kiss him. ‘one more drink and you’d be done for, jeno lee’ you thought.

“oh good, you just got here?” chenle’s voice broke your little staring contest. your friend grinned at you, pointing to the huge backpack on his shoulders. “brought an extra camera so you can help me take some pictures for their insta, alright?”

“am i getting paid?” 

“shut up.” 

the staff came in a few minutes later and gave the two of you a pass that allowed you to stay between the stage and the barricade, for the pictures. suddenly everything felt real as they had less than 20 minutes to get in. the host announced them once more for the almost three hundred people there among friends, some admirers of the band and LOTS of students from the surrounding colleges who didn’t know them. tonight their word would spread around like fire. 

“so, you like the surprise?” chenle asked, looking at you through the camera. 

“i consider that betrayal, for your information” your answer made him throw his head back, laughing like a little kid. “what? a labret piercing isn’t a betrayal?” 

“well, i consider it a present. and seeing the way you were staring…” he nudged you playfully, but the music stopped and the host came back on stage. the highly anticipated concert was about to start, so you just stuck your tongue out to your friend. 

their entrance was big, everyone screamed to hype them up and they started with their own version of all the small things by blink 182. you swear you couldn’t even hear haechan over the audience. you took many pictures of them, sang together and admired their surprised smiles and stage personas in between performances. 

at some point jaemin and jeno came to the front to have a small battle to show their guitar and bass skills, making the room go crazy. right after that, the vocalists screamed jisung’s name and he started to show off. chenle exchanged a proud look with you, all of you feeling an immense happiness. 

so many girls were screaming their names, haechan mouthed the word ‘groupies’ at you, to which he received a middle finger in his direction. 

the setlist had almost come to an end, there was only one song left. feeling on top of the world, haechan played with the public. “ANL, you’re such a good crowd.” they screamed. “unfortunately, we’ve come down to our last song.” a very loud ‘aawwww’ was heard and the boys chuckled among themselves. as the sunkissed singer spoke, the others changed their instruments. jaemin got an acoustic guitar, followed by jeno with his acoustic bass and the staff placed a cajón for jisung in front of the drums. “we prepared a very special song for you, beautiful people. thank you so much for coming tonight!” they cheered once more.

the first chords to wonderwall by oasis were played by jaemin, the other instruments following the softer melody. haechan’s sweet voice compelled the watchers to sing along, pouring their hearts out.

you felt a tap on your shoulder as you registered this breathtaking moment of the band. turning your attention to the person who tapped you, you see chenle wiggling his eyebrows in jeno’s way. turns out his gaze was burning your skin together with the words dripping from his lips so faintly, only someone so close as you would understand he was following the lyrics.

And all the roads we have to walk are winding

And all the lights that lead us there are blinding

There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how

the bassist didn’t know what had gotten into him, maybe it was the performance thrill. he honestly didn’t try to find an explanation. during their songs, you were the one getting his attention all the time. you were having so much fun, singing out loud, exchanging jokes with your best friend, showing some people the band’s social media… it clicked. he realized he would never have to change to be around you. he felt so silly. and then, a sudden boldness rushed through him to let you know there’s something he must tell you.

[crossvise]

@bitchyunknownpanda

Summary; reader used to know Punk before he left, they have a bittersweet meeting when he comes back. Maybe Punk says something along these lines, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and I miss you." cause he really does miss her and wants her back.

Warnings; some swearing, that’s it.

When you first heard the rumors of CM Punk coming back to the WWE, you shook your head chuckling, there was no way he would come back after all this time. He had made an appearance here and there as an analyst a few years ago but that was it- and you were more than fine with it, you hoped you wouldn’t have to cross his path again.

As the weeks went by, you didn’t really pay attention to those rumors until you heard he was actually coming back and your world was so close to crumble down. It had been ten years since Phil broke your heart as he left WWE and you, ten years you worked on yourself to not suffer anymore and for most part, you did well but you knew he was your first love and a pet of you would forever love him.

Of course, he had to show up on Monday Night Raw, two days after you successfully managed to avoid him during Survivor Series. But if you could avoid him during a long event, you could definitely repeat it on Raw- you had it all planned anyways, your match happened to be right before he would get to the ring, if you were unlucky you’d cross paths but by the time he’d be done with his talk, you’d be ready to leave.

Thankfully, for the most part it went as you hoped, you didn’t see him before your match, everyone wanted to talk to him anyways, so it wasn’t that hard to avoid him. Your match went well and after over fifteen minutes wrestling your opponent of the night, you finally got the pin.

Making it back to behind the scenes had never been this stressing before, you knew he was right there and in the end, it was inevitable to walk past him- seeing him was upsetting but you also felt sad, after all this time, it still hurt.

Hearing your name from his mouth made your heart aches but you didn’t turn around to confront him, you knew it would end up with you crying, no matter how strong you were. Thankfully, the timing saved you as he was called to go to the ring for his first promo since he left.

Without a word to anyone, you made it back to the locker room and showered as soon as you were out of your gear and make up removed. You thought you had been quick, apparently not quick enough as you heard knocking on your locker room’s door- it could’ve been anyone but it had to be Phil.

Leaving the door open for him to get in, you grabbed your jacket and closed your bag, “ what do you want?”

“ I just wanna talk- I tried to find you two days ago but you were nowhere to be found.”

You chuckled at this, of course you were nowhere to be seen that day, you spent all day and evening avoiding him, “ well yeah, I kind of didn’t want to see you.”

“ I’m sorry.”

“ It’s a bit late for that. I’m going to repeat myself- what do you want, Phil?”

“ I just wanted to talk, to say that I’m sorry and that I fucking miss you.”

You were taken aback by the last bit, you would’ve expected everything but this, “ it’s been ten years, you missed me for ten years and did nothing about it?”

Met with a deafening silence, you nodded and with a bittersweet chuckle, you roughly grabbed your bag and shoved him on the side to get out of the room and eventually the building. Usually, you would go meet the fans, sign their shirts or signs and take pictures but you didn’t really feel like taking pictures teary eyed.

As you were heading to your car, you heard distant footsteps but didn’t pay it too much attention until you threw your bag in the back of your car and heard Phil’s voice as he caught up to you, “ I did miss you for ten long fucking years, every single day I cursed myself out for making the worst decision I could have made.”

“ You broke my heart, hell you broke me!”

“ I know and I can’t do anything else than wish I hadn’t been this stupid and such a coward.”

Shaking your head, you wiped away your tears, “ why taking ten years to reach out to me?”

“ I was ashamed of breaking your heart, of leaving you the way I did and I’m pretty sure you didn’t want to see me.”

“ What changed now?”

“ I’m back and not planning on leaving anytime soon, I believe I couldn’t start by not apologizing to the person I’ve hurt the most.”

You nodded, after all it had been ten years and maybe the best thing was to accept those apologies that you’ve dreamed of for years, “ I loved you Phil, with everything I had- you were everything to me.”

“ I know. I can’t take it back or make up for all those years but believe me, if I could, I would.”

“ A part of me will always love you, you were my first real love and for that I’ll forgive you. Thank you for apologizing, and welcome back.”

A sheepish smile appeared on Phil’s face as you said you were forgiving him, “ I still love you, Y/N- I never stopped loving you.”

“ Don’t push your luck Phil. ”

“ I’m not, I don’t expect you to take me back in a heartbeat- I’m just wondering if one day, you would give me another chance.”

That was yet another thing you didn’t expect to hear tonight, and for a second you stayed silent, wondering if you could one day give him another chance, “ show me that you’ve changed, that you’re a better man and then, maybe, I’ll give you another chance.”

[oneirophobic]

Hi love! Could you write some angst about the reader having a bad anxiety day and matt not noticing, thinking they're unwanted, they go home and doesn't pick up his calls and he gets worried goes over and well, the rest is fluff. I love your writing so much take your time!

unnoticed - matt sturniolo

pairing : matt sturniolo x reader

genre : angsty fluff

warnings : anxiety , swearing , much angst

a/n : writer's block is insane dawg. i had no idea how to go about this, sorry it's horrible.

i feel like matt's tired of me.

i had no idea, everything was spinning. i left the triplet's house last night, no goodbye or anything. i felt there was no need to do so, nic was off in his room and matt and chris were passed out on the couch. i had softly releasing myself from matt's embrace and just drove home.

not bothering to change, i flopped onto my bed and drifted off to sleep. my mind racing with thoughts of matt, tears began stinging my eyes to the point i could barely keep my eyes closed.

eventually, my sobs eased me to sleep.

i woke up the next morning, texts from matt asking where i was. voices ringing in my head, "it's fake." i didn't answer, ignoring every text and call. trying to distract myself to no avail.

he didn't notice my state last night, why would he care now? he ignored my sulking and just holding me like i was some teddy bear.

throughout the day, the calls and texts still came through, asking if i was okay and apology after apology. also getting texts from chris and nic saying matt was upset and to at least answer him and tell him what's going on. i contemplated on giving in, but i just shut my phone off instead.

hours passed, i just sat in the silence of my living room with my thoughts staring at the candle flame that sat in front of me. my eyes burned, my stomach hurt from lack of fuel. all i could hear was my heartbeat and the cars passing outside my home.

i was drawn from the silence by someone pulling into my driveway and slamming their car door. i looked up at matt bursting through the door, almost tripping at the sight of my puffy eyes and tear stained face.

he quickly pulled me to my feet, cradling my face in his hands. "why haven't you answered my calls?" he asked, rubbing circles on my cheek, "you had me worried sick!"

all i could do was cry.

tears began streaming down my face once again, "no no no, don't cry. please don't cry, i didn't mean to upset you-" he cried, pulling me into a hug. "liar," i said, pushing him away.

tears streamed down his face too, "what did i do?" he pleaded.

"i know you lost feelings," i sobbed. "where is that coming from? i love you so fucking much y/n. i would do anything for you," he spoke, his voice breaking.

"but-" i was cut off with his lips on mine. "i knew something was wrong last night, i didn't want to say anything and make it worse. i tried my best to subtly help," he cried.

we spent the rest of the night clinging to each other, "i'm sorry matt."

"no, i'm sorry. i should have done something better."

i kissed him, "you tried, you just didn't want to embarrass me." he nodded, brushing hair behind my ear, "i love you y/n."

"i love you too matt."

[viaoverthemoon]

Everything

Leon Kennedy X GN!Reader

Idk about you guys... But I've written so much smut lately, that I'm starting to miss angst... ;)

So, here you go! Some angst for the soul!

Summary: You've made a mistake. Will he forgive you?

Tw: Angst, hurt/no comfort, swearing, begging (Like, hardcore on the knees begging), depression (Lemme know if I missed anything! <3)

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

Enjoy! <3

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You'd thought that there would never be a moment in your relationship that would be strong enough to tear a hole in your romance.

Thought that if fate saw it fit, there would never be an argument or fight in sight.

You've spent so long being spoiled by the happy moments with him, that you'd completely forgotten the bad could exist.

But now, as he turns his back on you and walks tensely to the door, you can feel your entire world crumbling.

The tears pouring from your eyes never seemed to cease, snot drying under your nose as you try to sniffle it back.

You're gasping for air. You can't breathe.

Your hands reach for him, grabbing at his arms with a vice grip. He gently tries to pry his arm away, not making eye contact with you.

His mutters your name, fingers softly tugging at yours. But you're relentless, shaking your head as pained sobs tear from your throat.

"Please-! I'm sorry, Leon! I know- I- I made a mistake- But it was for you! I swear, all of it was for you-!"

Your nails dig into his skin. You plead, beg him not to leave. Your knees roughly hit the hard tile of the floor; body filled with so much overwhelming sadness that you fall to the ground.

But you never let go of his hand. "Please... Please don't-..."

His eyes meet yours for the briefest of moments, crystal clear blues dulled as though they've lost the ability to feel any emotion. And for a second, you begin to regret your decision.

"I won't ever- ever do it again. Jus... Just stay... please?"

For a moment, his expression softens. His eyes scan over your face as a pause of silence stretches so long that your hopes begin to raise.

Your thoughts drift.

Maybe, this will all be put behind the two of you. He'll accept your apology. Hold you. You'll cuddle as you watch a movie and laugh. And then fall asleep, forgetting this ever even happened.

Maybe, he'll forgive you. Kiss you on your forehead. Tell you how fucking stupid you were. Curse and swear at you.

Anything to make all of this disappear. To make everything go back to being as it was.

Leon's hand comes to rest on top of yours. Your eyes widen and you look up at him, a small smile raising to your lips as your heart races. This is it. Relief flows through you, breaking down your tension until...

His fingers gently pry yours off of his wrist, this time succeeding.

Your smile falls, brows furrowing. Your feel your heart begin to crack. "Wha- No-"

Without another word, he turns his back on you. "L-Leon, wait! Baby-!"

But he doesn't stop. Doesn't even turn around.

He opens the front door and walks out.

The door softly closes behind him.

You feel something snap. The sound of your life crumbling to a pile of ashes rattling all of your thoughts as you sit on the ground, broken heart bleeding freely within your chest.

You wait.

Your body sits on the floor for hours, waiting for him to come back.

And you eventually realize... he isn't going to.

The tears come silently, your body falling limp and curving into a ball. Your bones snap and pop, the weight of the world too heavy. But you let it crush you, welcoming the darkness that encircles you as you lose vision... and feeling... and...

Everything.

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Yeah, I wasn't expecting this either :(

Getting requests done!

Hope y'all enjoyed!!

Requests are open! <3

[aropride]

long vent post abt covid + my sister

i genuinely dont know when the last time my little sister wasnt sick for more than two weeks was. im trying to remember but i cant . its been almost constant since she got covid in dec2021. and she has all these new allergies and symptoms and stuff she had as a baby came back after. and my parents are like antivax antimask "its just a cold" conspiracy theorists and they arent going to protect her they only got her her mandatory vaccines bc our doctor finally made them and theyre convinced shes always sick bc of the vaccines and not bc of covid. and i know theres nothing i can say or do that will get through to them. and i know my sister doesnt understand Why shes sick all the time so of course shes going to believe our parents because shes a kid why wouldnt she believe them. and i know eventually she'll figure out why shes so sick. when long covid gets talked about more when i figure out how to explain it to her etc eventually she'll find out and it's going to like. ruin her view of our parents and the world at large

and i spent my whole childhood since the day she was born making it like my lifes mission to keep her safe but i had no hope of protecting her against this there was no way i could have done much but my parents could have and should have and now they blame it all on the vaccines its because the doctor gave her vaccines no it isnt!!! no it is not!!! and every time i see her or facetime her or she sends me an audio message i hear the crackle in her throat and i dont know if it will ever go away

and if youre not looking for it youll miss it but if you go in public and sit and listen .youll hear the coughing and sniffling and the crackle in people's throats. i keep my windows open bc my dorm gets too hot and all day i hear people walking by and coughing. my only other covid cautious friend has noticed it. none of my non cc friends have. but i swear to god it's there sit in a library for a few hours and listen it's there it gets worse every year. and nobody even notices and people look at you weird when you mention that everyone's been getting sicker recently

but they are they fucking are ive read the studies ive looked at the data. everyone's sick all the time and they dont even notice it they go "it's the freshman flu" "it's allergies" you arent even a freshman you dont even have allergies. "man ive just been so short of breath recently" then i'm the crazy one if i say the obvious reason for that. i feel fucking crazy i know im not im looking at the studies im looking at the data im learning the science but nobody will listen

i share covid data and protection and everything on instagram all the time im always talking about it because im always thinking about it because i hear it everywhere and nobody listens nobody is masking and i dont understand why i dont understand how - i heard someone cough out my window just now - i don't understand how social pressure can win over the objective truth when the objective truth is killing and disabling people. how do people not care??? i need people to care one-way masking is better than nothing but so much could have been prevented if people would just put on the fucking mask

what am i even supposed to do when everyone's just accepted being sick forever when people dont 'even notice how fucked up their bodies are becoming when people seem to think it could never happen to them and they don't seem to care that they can and will pass it to other people even if they never are symptomatic . how are we supposed to live like this??? are we going to reach a breaking point or are people just going to fucking die forever??? what will it take for people to start masking again??? to start caring???

i dont know what infection number my sister is on. three that i know of for sure but i'd be shocked if she hadn't had it at least five times. shes thirteen . i dont know what to do