#I suppose in those two cases it's also people being specifically allergic to anything with the veneer of religion | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bevioletskies · 4 years ago

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spare me a little (of your love)

summary: Klavier always liked to express his love with flowers, so sending a beautiful bouquet to his boyfriend every now and then seemed like the obvious thing to do. However, there’s just one little problem - Apollo is very, very allergic to pollen.

word count: 5.3k | read on ao3

a/n: For @klapollo-week, day two of seven (prompt: "flowers"). All seven of my fics take place in the same continuity! However, each can be read as a stand-alone, with the exception of day seven being a sequel to day five.

This fic takes place at some distant point in time after Spirit of Justice where Apollo and Trucy have learned that they’re siblings, but doesn’t reference any specific plotlines otherwise. My source for flower meanings can be found here. Fic title is from the song Spare Me a Little of Your Love by Fleetwood Mac.

“The language of...flowers?”

“Oui, oui, mon ami!” Athena chirped, nodding eagerly. “That’s just one of the many languages I speak, y’know.”

Apollo eyed her skeptically over the top of his laptop screen. “...right. Elaborate, please.”

“Well, you know how people usually give roses to express their love?” Athena said, leaning across the gap between their desks. She didn’t even blink when she accidentally knocked over Apollo’s calendar and pen holder in one fell swoop. Apollo, on the other hand, shot her an affronted glance that she deftly ignored. “Well, each flower actually has its own specific meaning. It even varies from color to color! Par exemple, white roses symbolize innocence, while yellow roses symbolize friendship.”

“That seems unnecessarily complicated,” Apollo remarked. “Don’t most flowers come with a card? Why can’t people just write their messages instead?”

They turned at the sound of a disappointed groan coming from the middle of the room. “You’re so unromantic, Polly,” Trucy complained, peeking at them from over the back of the couch. “I almost feel bad for Mr. Gavin!”

“Hey,” Apollo protested. “I can be - I-I’m romantic!”

“If you say so,” Athena giggled, poking him in the shoulder. Huffing, Apollo prodded her back. Athena reached for a rubber band, fully intending to escalate things. She lowered her projectile dejectedly when Apollo raised his hands in surrender; he had no interest in losing an eye today.

“Sunflowers and tulips are supposed to symbolize happiness, right?” Phoenix asked. “Those are pretty much the only flowers I really know, so.”

There was a long, uncomfortably drawn-out silence. “...Daddy, your ex-girlfriend’s name was Dahlia. Her real name was - is - Iris.”

“Oh...right,” Phoenix chuckled, only mildly embarrassed. “Speaking of, do you know what dahlias and irises mean, Athena?”

Athena’s eyes were practically sparkling now. “Oui! Dahlias symbolize elegance and dignity.” Phoenix made a face. “...but, they also symbolize dishonesty and betrayal.”

“That’s more like it,” Phoenix muttered under his breath. “And irises?”

“Faith, wisdom, that kinda thing,” Athena shrugged. She then paused. “Y’know, if you want some ideas on the kinds of flowers Mr. Edgeworth would like, I can make some - ”

“Nope, nope, I-I’m good,” Phoenix interrupted swiftly, his face reddening. He had a vase of daffodils sitting on his desk, which Edgeworth had sent to the office a few days ago. None of them believed Phoenix when he claimed they were purely intended for decoration. “So why the sudden interest in flowers, Apollo? Is this, er...is this about Gavin?”

“If you’re not talking about your prosecutor, sir, I’m not talking about mine,” Apollo said firmly, turning back to his laptop.

“Sure, except I think your prosecutor’s fair game when he picks you up from work most days,” Phoenix teased. His tone was eerily similar to Trucy’s. If Phoenix wasn’t both his boss and his sort-of stepfather, Apollo would’ve picked up a rubber band himself.

A few hours later, Apollo was locking up the office for the evening when he heard the roar of a familiar-sounding motorcycle coming up the street. He turned, biting back a smile as Klavier pulled up beside the sidewalk and turned off his engine. “Your bike really is as obnoxious as you are.”

Klavier removed his helmet, pouting. “Achtung, is that any way to greet your boyfriend?”

“It is for me,” Apollo replied, kissing him briefly. “Hi.”

“Hallo,” Klavier murmured against Apollo’s lips, grinning as he pulled away. “Dinner?”

“Yes, please,” Apollo said, reaching for Klavier’s spare helmet. “I’m feeling...pizza and all the cheesy garlic breadsticks. Or maybe we can just get cheesy garlic breadsticks.”

“As nice as that sounds, you need more vegetables than the little bits you get in your cup noodles, baby,” Klavier said, patting Apollo’s hip affectionately. “Pizza, breadsticks, and a side salad, ja?”

“Fine, fine,” Apollo grumbled, settling in behind Klavier. “Turn me into a rabbit, why don’t you? Buy me a bag of carrot sticks the next time we go to the grocery store. Stuff my mattress with straw and newspaper - ”

“And people think I’m the dramatic one,” Klavier lamented, shaking his head in amusement.

It wasn’t long before the two of them were sitting on the floor of Klavier’s living room, pleasantly stuffed with pizza and breadsticks and a mediocre amount of Greek salad (“I’m not a fan of olives, you know.” “Not surprising, since the color doesn’t work with your complexion.” “Klavier, I swear to - ”). A random made-for-TV movie was playing in the background on mute, though neither of them were particularly interested in watching it.

“How was work?” Apollo asked, taking a much-needed gulp of cold water. He wasn’t sure if he was ever going to get the taste of garlic out of his mouth.

“Boring, unfortunately,” Klavier said with a grimace. “Herr Edgeworth didn’t have anything but paperwork to offer me. No trials, no investigations, nichts. You?”

“Same,” Apollo replied. “Mr. Wright’s mostly working with Athena this month, so they’re taking the big clients while I get stuck with the smaller cases. Not that I’m complaining, I mean - it’s a nice change from Khura’in. I don’t want every trial to feel like I’m going under, you know?”

“Nein, that would be terrible,” Klavier agreed. “Exciting, sure, but the stress wouldn’t be worth it. I already found a gray hair the other day, ach.”

Apollo snorted. “Just one? You should see mine - I’m gonna be completely gray by thirty-five at this rate.” He shuffled closer so he could snuggle up against Klavier’s side, letting his head drop to Klavier’s shoulder. “So...turns out, Athena knows all about the flower language thing. Figured she might.”

“Flower...language...thing?” Klavier echoed, confused. He then brightened. “Ah! From our video call with my mama the other day, ja? I didn’t know you were actually interested.”

“I wasn’t, not at first,” Apollo admitted, squeezing Klavier’s arm. “But...I want your parents to like me, and since she said she was taking an interest, I thought, y’know, why not look into it? And it sounds kinda...contrived, not gonna lie. But I guess it’s kinda sweet, too. Like a secret language between just two people.”

Klavier’s face softened. “Ja, exactly. My parents used to write love letters to each other when they were in school, so I think this is Mama’s way of starting a new tradition - buying Papa flowers so he can plant them in his garden. You should see our family estate in the summer, it’s absolutely stunning.”

“Sounds like it,” Apollo said, smiling. “Your parents’ lives sound so...peaceful. Baking, gardening, travelling...I know it’s a little early to start thinking about retirement, but still, they’re living the dream.”

“They’re not retired yet,” Klavier chuckled. “And stop making me feel like I’m dating an old man, bitte. You complaining about your back makes me feel like I have to start complaining about my back.”

Apollo hummed, tracing random patterns along Klavier’s forearm with his finger. He was pleasantly sleepy from a number of things - his long, if uneventful day of work, the amount of cheese and carbs he’d just consumed, and the warmth of Klavier’s skin against his. “Sorry we can’t all afford chiropractors and massage therapists, sheesh,” he teased, unable to hold back a yawn.

“Maybe we can get a massage together someday,” Klavier suggested, stretching luxuriously. “Ah, before I forget - since we were talking about my parents just now, they asked me the other day if it would be alright to text you and send you things, little gifts and whatnot.”

“Huh? They would do that?” Apollo exclaimed. “I only just met them, like, a week ago!”

“They’re a bit...much,” Klavier said carefully. “Even when I was in high school, every friend I brought home was a potential lover to them, you know? They wanted to know everything about them, to shower them with gifts and affection. Even when I started working, I would ask Papa if I could have some flowers from his garden - you know, an arrangement to thank Herr Edgeworth for giving me a raise, a bouquet for my manager when we got our first record deal - and it was always the same story. Achtung, it’s embarrassing, but they mean well. You don’t have to say ja if you don’t want to, I just thought I’d ask.”

“No, I - it’s okay, I’d love to get to know your parents more, I’m just surprised,” Apollo admitted. The thought of them liking him this easily made him both relieved and unnerved at the same time. “Should I, uh, get them something in return?”

“Nein, nein, let them spoil you.” Klavier cupped Apollo’s face in his hands, kissing him softly. “Just like I do.”

“Sap,” Apollo murmured, kissing him back.

_____

It was a sort of gradual thing, for the most part. Barely a day had gone by when Apollo found himself in a group text with Klavier’s parents; he quickly discovered how witty and sweet and whip-smart they both were. Klavier’s father sent gorgeous photos of his garden - and calling it a garden seemed almost too modest when it seemed to be the size of a soccer field - while Klavier’s mother sent book recommendations, even the occasional movie recommendation.

“I never thought I’d be at that point in my life where my boyfriend’s mother sends me three long paragraphs about how she ‘discovered’ the Legally Blonde musical, but here we are,” Apollo had mused to the other agency members.

“Did you tell her that Klavier reminds everyone of that song, the one that goes - ”

“No, Athena, I did not. I want her to like me, remember?”

Soon after that, gifts started to arrive. Apollo had requested they send them to the agency, given how little he trusted his apartment building’s security after they nearly let his cat escape not too long ago. Unfortunately, it was too late before he realized that sometimes, he trusted his co-workers - or more specifically, his sister - even less.

“Trucy, do you know who ate the last piece of pie? Y’know, the one I was saving for today, to celebrate the end of my trial?”

“...huh. No idea, sorry, Polly!”

“Wait - th-there’s graham crumbs on Mr. Hat, what the hell - ”

His sister’s betrayal aside, Apollo felt good about things, almost unusually good. He soon started texting Klavier’s parents just as frequently as he did his own mother, thanking them for their generosity whenever they sent the occasional box of pastries or discounted event tickets. They also exchanged anecdotes about Klavier, along with stories about their own lives. He even received celebratory emojis whenever he told them about his victories in court - over their son, no less.

“I’m starting to think they like you more than they like me,” Klavier had lamented, though he seemed pleased all the same.

Then, a month into their budding familial relationship, a problem arrived on Apollo’s desk in the form of a bouquet the size of his head.

“Ah-choo!”

Trucy and Athena, who had been standing by the latter’s desk, both startled at the sound. “Ay Dios mío!” Athena exclaimed, clutching her heart in shock. “Are you okay, Apollo? That was some sneeze. I thought we were having another earthquake!”

“Har, har,” Apollo said dryly, reaching for a tissue. “It’s just the - achoo - flowers, that’s all.”

“They’re beautiful - very classic,” Athena added, dropping into Apollo’s desk chair so she could get a closer look. “Red roses and white lilies, claro. Ooh, I see some red carnations and white chrysanthemums, too!”

“Well, I see a card,” Trucy said, plucking a small white notecard from between the leaves. “Let’s see what it says!”

“That’s for - achoo - me, thank you very much.” Apollo snatched the card out of her hands, then squinted through his watery eyes to read it. “I...oh. Klavier says his mom helped him make the arrangement, with flowers from his dad’s garden.”

“How sweet!” Trucy gushed, taking a moment to sniff them, inhaling deeply as her eyes drifted closed. “Ooh, and they smell amazing. Mr. Gavin is such a good - ”

“Ah-choo!” Apollo sniffled, wiping his nose carefully. “...dammit.”

“I didn’t know you were allergic to pollen, Apollo,” Phoenix commented; he was on the other side of the room, pouring himself a cup of tea. “You never had any problems with the flowers Edgeworth sent to m - I mean, to the office.”

“Maybe it’s a freshly-cut thing?” Athena guessed, ignoring Phoenix’s awkward laugh. “Or, y’know, some flowers are worse for allergies than others. Dahlias, for example, are the worst.” Phoenix made another face before turning back to what he was doing.

“You should tell him you’re allergic,” Trucy said, patting Apollo’s free hand in sympathy. “I’m sure he’d understand.”

“But…” Apollo hesitated. The others braced themselves, anticipating another sneeze. “...this is from Klavier and his parents, you know? I can put up with a sneeze or two if it makes them happy. He loves sending flowers, and his dad’s really into gardening, so...if I tell them, they’ll stop doing it, and they’ll be too understanding, and I - I can’t deal with that. The, uh, the niceness, I mean.”

“Poor you, having the sweetest in-laws in the world,” Athena teased, pouting exaggeratedly. Oh, the humanity, Widget added. Apollo would have glared at them both, had he not started sneezing again. “Como tú quieras, I guess.”

Hours later, when Klavier met Apollo at the agency, the sight of his face brightening when he saw the bouquet confirmed Apollo’s fears. “Ah, how wunderschön,” Klavier declared, beaming. “I was worried they wouldn’t hold up during delivery. Do you like them, liebe?”

“They’re beautiful,” Apollo said, as honest as he could be. “Thanks, Klavier. I, uh, I hope it didn’t take you too long to put together.”

“You know how picky I can be,” Klavier hummed, carefully drawing a carnation out of the vase between two practiced fingers and bringing it up to his nose to smell. “I don’t settle for anything less than perfekt.” He turned, smirking. “That’s why I’m dating you, after all.”

“Gross,” Apollo said, wrinkling his nose; the effect was ruined by his affectionate laughter. “Hey, is it okay if I press them after they’ve wilted? I was thinking I could keep ‘em in my journal as a nice little reminder.”

Klavier chuckled, reaching over to squeeze Apollo’s hand. “Of course, Forehead. They’re all yours, you don’t have to ask for my permission. And I’m sure Mama and Papa would be delighted to hear you’re planning to give Papa’s flowers a second life. We’ll have to send you more in the future, ja?”

“...ja,” Apollo said weakly, his heart sinking.

_____

The next bouquet arrived two weeks later, bigger and bolder than before. According to Athena, it consisted of pink and orange roses, pink lilies, and yellow alstroemeria. However, it seemed to be the handful of sunflowers that topped everything off that left Apollo’s nose running all day.

“I think the only sunflower I can stand to be around is my attorney’s badge,” Apollo had bemoaned.

After that came an arrangement of white daisies, red gerbera, and white limonium (or, as Trucy liked to call it - she liked practicing tongue twisters when she was bored - “linoleum”). Then green hydrangeas and Queen Anne’s lace, which admittedly wasn't so bad, followed by purple daisies and pink gerbera, which was very, very bad. Apollo did not like the fact that he was getting used to the taste of Benadryl. He did manage to get some reprieve when Klavier sent him a simple vase of pink peonies.

“They’re hypoallergenic,” Athena had informed him. “But...mein Gott, Apollo, just tell him already!”

“But if I do, i-it’s…” Apollo had gestured wildly, unable to find the right words. Athena and Trucy had exchanged glances, then shook their heads in eerily synchronized disappointment.

Pink carnations and pink alstroemeria, purple irises and white aster, yellow daisies and orange roses; Apollo was starting to think the Gavin family garden was endless. And while his journal had never looked prettier, every page decorated with carefully pressed petals, every other page detailed with a date and a description courtesy of Athena’s expertise, his nose had never looked worse, his skin pink and dry and irritated. He was getting too used to the smell of CeraVe as well.

Finally, a bouquet of red roses - thankfully, also hypoallergenic - arrived with Klavier himself. He seemed delighted to be at the agency while everyone else was present for once, chatting happily with Athena and marvelling at Trucy’s card tricks. He and Phoenix seemed awkward around each other, though Apollo supposed that was to be expected. Even now, they hesitated whenever Apollo brought the other one up.

“So what’re you doing here, Mr. Gavin?” Trucy asked after she’d successfully duped him three times in a row. Apollo had to stop her before she started charging him for it. “Is it date night?”

“Not exactly,” Klavier said, turning to Apollo. “I came here to ask you something in person, liebe.”

Apollo raised an eyebrow. “Well, that’s not suspicious at all. What’s up?”

“I think it’s about time you meet my parents in person.” Klavier took both of Apollo’s hands in his, smiling hopefully. “So, if you’re ready...are you free this weekend? We could go to my family estate, spend the day - Mama would love to teach you how to make those puff pastries you like, and Papa wants to show you around the garden so you can see where all your wunderschön flowers came from.”

“I...oh.” Apollo’s face fell for a split second before he quickly regained his composure. “Sorry, Klav, that sounds incredible, but I-I was gonna stay with Mom this weekend. Maybe another time?”

“Natürlich,” Klavier replied, still smiling. While his smiles usually made Apollo feel warm and fuzzy, now all he was feeling was gnawing guilt. “Let me know when you have a free weekend, ja?”

“For sure,” Apollo promised, pecking him briefly on the cheek. “And thanks for the roses, even though I, uh, kinda ruined the occasion.”

“Ruined?” Klavier repeated, chuckling. “Ach, it’s no big deal, you’re busy. We have time, don’t we?”

“Of course!” Apollo exclaimed, far too loudly. Klavier didn’t seem to mind, though; he leaned down to kiss Apollo properly, humming all the while.

“Anyway, I should get going before Herr Edgeworth notices I’m not in my office,” Klavier said, reluctantly pulling away. The look on Phoenix's face suggested he knew that Edgeworth had figured it out long ago. “Auf Wiedersehen, süßer!”

The second Klavier left, Apollo let out the breath he’d been holding. He didn’t even need to look up to know the others were staring at him very judgmentally. “...I don’t wanna hear it.”

“You really shouldn’t lie to your boyfriend, Apollo,” Phoenix said gently; his voice had taken on the sort of “dad” tone that made Apollo feel even guiltier. “Er, that is, you shouldn’t lie to anyone, but you know what I mean. Are you really protecting his feelings by doing this?”

Sighing, Apollo collapsed into his desk chair, dropping his forehead to his desk with an audible thunk. “I know, I know. It was stupid from the start, but...I-I honestly wasn’t expecting him to send this many! I thought it’d be, y’know, for special occasions only, like every few months or whatever. Then I could deal with it, and he would never have to know. Not, like, just ‘cos he felt like it. Though I guess I really should’ve seen it coming, knowing him.”

“You really gotta tell him,” Trucy insisted. “Next time you see him, okay? Or else you’re never gonna say anything!”

“I will, I swear,” Apollo insisted, combing his fingers through his hair. He could feel more grays coming in by the second. “I have no interest in being the worst boyfriend ever, believe me.”

_____

It didn’t take long for Apollo to realize that while he was perfectly fine - or, at least, reasonably fine - with confrontation in the courtroom, he was very much not fine with confrontation in his personal life. The flower arrangements came less frequently now, and when they did, they seemed to be exclusively hypoallergenic. Klavier’s invitations, on the other hand, seemed more persistent.

“I don’t mean to push,” Klavier would say. “It’s just that exam week is coming up and, being professors and all, they’re going to be very busy soon. I was hoping we’d be able to spend some time with them before then.”

“Yeah, o-of course,” Apollo would reply, his stomach twisting every time, knowing full well he was about to turn him down again.

Another weekend went by, then another. There always seemed to be something, whether it was Apollo’s sudden frequent visits to Thalassa’s, Trucy’s sudden need for a magic show assistant, or that Apollo was just too tired to be good company. Eventually, Klavier seemed to simply stop asking. In fact, he seemed to stop asking him about anything at all.

“Do you wanna grab lunch?” Apollo had once asked Klavier while they were both packing up after the end of a lengthy trial.

“I don’t know.” Klavier had sounded tired, subdued; he refused to look Apollo in the eyes. “I think I’m just going to head back to the office and catch up on my emails. Take care, Herr Forehead.” He’d quickly swept out of the courtroom before Apollo could even say goodbye.

Apollo’s group text with his parents seemed to slow down, too, especially when it came to Klavier’s papa’s photos of his garden. Klavier’s mama, on the other hand, sent him short, stilted messages, now seemingly out of obligation instead of affection. Their near-radio silence, Apollo had to admit, was well-deserved. He knew he had to do something before it was too late, if it wasn’t already too late.

“I was surprised you wanted me to join you today,” Klavier said one morning as the two of them were taking a leisurely stroll around People Park, hand-in-hand. “Lately, I feel like I’ve been dating a ghost, achtung. We only ever see each other in court. Maybe at crime scenes, too, if we’re lucky.”

“And I’m surprised you agreed to come,” Apollo admitted. “I missed you, Klavier. Only...I, uh, I know that’s really my fault, not yours.”

“You do, do you?” Klavier sounded bitter. His grip on Apollo’s hand was looser than usual, like he was ready to pull away at any second, like he wanted to run. The thought made Apollo’s chest ache. “And here, I thought you were as oblivious as ever.”

“Hey,” Apollo protested, frowning. Then, he sighed. “No, you - you’re right. This is on me. Will you - I - listen, I have something for you, back at the office. Can we go get it before you head to work?”

Klavier nodded shortly. While his eyes had softened, his smile was still strained. “Ja, let’s go.”

Thankfully, the agency was empty when they got there, save for a certain something sitting patiently on Apollo’s desk. He set his bag down, then turned on all the lights, his heart pounding rapidly against his ribcage. “So these aren’t as nice as your dad’s, but, uh. This is for you...and your parents.”

“What do you - ah!” Klavier approached Apollo’s desk with wide, disbelieving eyes, his gaze fixated on the beautiful arrangement of white lilies, yellow tulips, and white orchids wrapped in white decorative tissue paper. “Apollo, these are...they’re lovely! Did you pick these out yourself?”

“Athena helped,” Apollo said, hovering nervously. “She said white lilies are for humility, yellow tulips can mean forgiveness, and white orchids symbolize strength. Fitting, since I wanted to...apologize. For being a horrible boyfriend.”

“I don’t know about ‘horrible’,” Klavier said, gently running a finger down the length of one of the orchids. “...but you have been distant. If you’re not actually interested in meeting my parents, or if you...if you want to end things, just say so, will you?” His voice cracked. “I might like a bit of drama every now and then, but not in my own life. Not in my own relationship.”

“What?! No, no, I-I don’t wanna end things at all!” Apollo exclaimed, his voice filling the room. He took a few deep, even breaths to calm himself. “Just...will you hear me out? Please?” Klavier nodded, though he refused to look at him. “I’m...I’m sorry for avoiding you and your parents. And before you ask...yes. I was doing it on purpose. It’s nothing that - none of you did anything wrong, okay? It’s me, i-it’s - it - I - ah - ”

Klavier turned on his heel, worried. “Apollo? Are you - ”

“Ah-choo!”

Klavier jumped. “Ach - Apollo?”

“I forgot there were asters in there,” Apollo grumbled, reaching for a tissue. He wasn’t sure which was redder now, his nose or his cheeks. “It’s - I - achoo - ”

“Apollo,” Klavier said slowly; if Apollo didn’t know any better, he would've thought he was trying not to laugh. “Are you, by chance...allergic to pollen?”

Apollo sniffed sharply. “...yes, dammit, yes! That’s literally what I’ve been trying to say - achoo - just now, until - achoo - my sinuses decided to - achoo - speak for me!” He was half-doubled over at this point, clenching a fistful of tissues in both hands.

“Baby, have you been rejecting my invitation to meet my parents because you’re allergic to all the flowers we’ve been sending you for the last several weeks?” Klavier sounded more incredulous than angry.

“...yes. Yes, I have, yes, I’m an idiot and an asshole and - achoo - I’m so sorry, Klavier, I - achoo - ”

“Bitte, say it, don’t spray it.” Klavier held up Apollo’s tissue box for him, keeping it - and Apollo himself - at a good distance. “Mein Gott, Apollo, I thought you wanted to break up with me! Why didn’t you say anything earlier?!”

It took another minute or so before Apollo finally stopped sneezing long enough to get a full sentence out. He sniffled again, wiping his nose completely clean. “...have you ever told, like, the tiniest lie to make someone happy, only for it to turn into a big...thing? And then you know you have to come clean, that it’s what you’re s’posed to do, but the thought of doing it makes you anxious, even if not doing it also makes you anxious, and then...it just...it, uh, it stays with you.” He swallowed thickly, shaking his head. “Not that that’s an excuse, it’s just - that’s just what happened. I’m sorry, Klavier, I really am. I really do want to meet your parents, they’re so sweet and friendly a-and funny, I’m just...I’m bad at this. Really, really bad at this.”

Klavier sighed. Apollo held his breath, anticipating the worst. Then, Klavier wrapped him in his arms, letting out another sigh of relief. “I understand, liebe, and...I forgive you. Danke for explaining yourself.” He kissed the top of Apollo’s head. “Maybe we should’ve stuck to sending you pies, ja?”

Apollo laughed wetly. “I don’t know how you’re joking right now. That’s usually my job.” He lifted his head from Klavier’s chest to look up at him with a grateful smile. “I really did love the flowers, you know. When they weren’t attacking my respiratory system, that is.”

“Still, let’s not push it any further,” Klavier said wryly. “Now - two things, if you don’t mind. First, let me give you some moisturizer for your poor, poor nose. I’m not kissing you until I’m sure your skin won’t flake off in the process.”

“Ew, thanks for the gross visual,” Apollo grimaced. “And the second thing?”

Klavier smiled. “If you're alright with it, I’d like you to tell my parents what happened...in person.”

_____

The garden was just as beautiful as Apollo imagined it to be, given the dozens and dozens of photos he’d gotten from Klavier’s papa. It was full and lush and vibrant, with towering trees that provided ample shade, a beautiful gazebo with a built-in fireplace, a gorgeous two-tiered fish pond, and of course, a plethora of flowers, as far as they could see. Everything was especially beautiful, in Apollo’s opinion, from the relative safety of the conservatory.

“We’re not throwing you to the wolves, darling,” Klavier’s mama insisted, as if she were talking about actual wild animals and not her husband’s hobby. “We’ll stay in here for high tea so you can admire the garden at a safe distance, yes?”

“Yes, th-thank you,” Apollo stammered, relieved. “High tea?”

“Today’s menu is German chocolate scones and mini-sandwiches. With the crusts cut off for my fussy baby boy, of course,” she added, pinching Klavier’s cheek with a devious grin.

“Mama,” Klavier protested, embarrassed. His papa chuckled, settling into the chair across from his son; he still had a smudge of dirt on his nose. “I’m a grown man, achtung. I have my own health insurance and everything!”

“I really am sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Gavin,” Apollo said sincerely. Despite their kindness and generosity, he was still somewhat intimidated by them, by how tall and beautiful and well-spoken they were. As much as he didn’t want to think about his former boss, Apollo could see where he and Klavier got their good looks and charm from. “I wanted to make a good impression, but I, uh, I didn’t go about it the right way. I’ve been wanting to meet you for a while now, but...I kept it from happening for a dumb reason, and it led to me hurting your feelings and Klavier’s feelings. I’m sorry.”

“All is forgiven,” Klavier’s papa insisted, waving a hand. “Just promise you’ll stop by every now and then, alright? Our doors are open to you, Apollo. Consider us your parents, too, if you’d like.”

Apollo smiled softly. “I would, sir.”

“It’ll be a good, allergy-free time, I promise,” he continued with a teasing wink. “We’ll bake some bread, watch some home movies...are you interested in seeing - ach, what do the kids call it - Klavier’s ‘goth phase’?”

Apollo’s mouth dropped open. “...his what.”

“Papa, nein,” Klavier whined; he really did sound like a child now. “Maybe it was a mistake to bring you here, liebling.”

“Oh, I disagree,” Apollo said, his grin widening. “I would love to see Klavier’s goth phase. Did he dye his hair?”

“Oh, did he,” Klavier’s mama said slyly with the exasperated sigh of a parent who had dealt with too much. “It’s a miracle he managed to get back to blond at all.” She then got to her feet, smoothing out the front of her apron. “Anyway, Papa and I should go check on the scones now. You two sit tight, okay?” Before Apollo could blink, she’d dropped kisses on both his and Klavier’s foreheads, then disappeared down the hallway and into the kitchen, her husband in tow. He turned to look at Klavier, who was watching him nervously.

“I love them,” Apollo admitted. “They’re so sweet, Klav, they - stop looking at me like that, will you?”

“You can’t blame me for worrying,” Klavier said, kissing him briefly. “But I’m glad to hear it. Ich liebe dich, schatz.”

“Love you too, dork,” Apollo murmured against Klavier’s lips. “...so. Did you have a lip ring, or snake bites, or - ”

“Get out of my house,” Klavier huffed, pinching Apollo’s arm with an exaggerated pout.

“Hey! This isn’t your house, it’s your parents’ house, and they said their doors were open,” Apollo teased, laughing. Rolling his eyes, Klavier pulled Apollo into his arms, the two of them snuggled up on the loveseat. In the distance, they could see birds and butterflies fluttering among the flowers, a stray squirrel or two sniffing curiously at the edge of the fish pond. It was peaceful, serene. If it wasn't for the pollen, Apollo could see himself staying outside for hours at a time. “...but seriously, I’m looking forward to the video evidence.”

“I’m sure you are,” Klavier sighed, giving Apollo one last kiss before his parents returned with a large tray of sandwiches, scones, tea, and a vase with a single red rose for decoration - hypoallergenic, of course.

_____

a/n: Welcome to my second entry for Klapollo Week 2021! Continuity-wise, this is the fourth of seven fics, but again, there is no need to read the others to follow each fic on its own. Today, I have projected my allergies and anxiety onto Apollo, because that's what fanfiction is for, right? I hope y'all like my version of the Gavins; I've written them as cold and distant a couple of times, but I usually prefer to write them as warm and witty so that Klavier has a good support system in his life.

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Likes and reblogs would be much appreciated. Hoping you're all safe and healthy and doing well ❤️

#KlapolloWeek2021 #klapollo #kyodoroki #klapollo fic #ace attorney #ace attorney fic #myfic #long post #sorry these previews are so massive!!#today's and day four's are probably the most lighthearted

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cricketnationrise · 4 years ago

Text

Over Tacos, With Love

For Nurseyweek2021 Day 3: Romance

Also on AO3

_/ \_

In Nursey’s opinion, there was no worse time to realize you were in love with someone you weren’t dating than in the last semester of college. He thought it should be a universally acknowledged truth, and one that his friends should share. Not that he was going to poll THEM on their opinions of this. Chowder was out because he’d been in love with Farmer since their second date. But mostly because he was tired of hearing Nursey's whining. And Dex was out because – well because if Nursey had learned anything from his gen ed psychology class, one should never tell the control group they were the control.

It’s not like there was any point.

They only had a month left of the hockey season and then a couple months of senior year left after that for them to finish their theses and find a job, not to mention organizing all the end of year shit that piled up for the team: kissing the ice, the passing of dibs, the award dinner…. A semester was practically no time at all. Definitely not enough time to figure out if Dex would be open to dating anyone right now, let alone him in the specific. And even if Dex was up for it, there was no guarantee they’d end up in the same place after graduation or if Dex would want to keep dating after college if it meant long distance or –

Breathing deeply, Nursey tries to relax his muscles and calm down before he triggers an anxiety attack. Dex was on his way back from Murder Stop & Shop and they are supposed to go grab tacos after, but there was no way Dex wouldn’t notice if he looked distressed. And then there would be no tacos. Because Dex would insist on taking care of him, grabbing blankets and water and Nursey’s favorite tea and putting on one of Nursey’s favorite movies and they would be halfway through before Nursey would have remembered that they were supposed to be somewhere else. That definitely hadn’t happened before. No sir.

Dex was a natural caretaker, but that didn’t mean that Nursey wanted to be subject to it today. It was hard enough to be around Dex now that Nursey knew he was in love with him, Dex caring for him specifically would be torture. So.

He gets up and makes his way downstairs and takes out the trash and makes sure there is room in the fridge for what Dex is bringing home. Before he starts down another anxiety spiral while waiting, Dex shoulders the door open.

“Hey you emerged! Can you grab the last two bags from the truck?”

“Sure thing Dexadoo!” says Nursey.

Working together putting the groceries away, Dex nudges him with his hips and elbows playfully while chatting about his morning. Pure torture.

“You ready for our taco date, Nurse?” Dex asks when they’ve finished.

Only barely managing to hide his shock and stab of hope when Dex says the word date, Nursey says “Chyeah let me just grab my coat.”

They keep up a conversation, sarcastic and trash-talky as always, but a separate part of Nursey’s mind is whirring so fast it’s a wonder Dex can’t hear it working overtime.

Nursey must keep up a façade of normalcy on the walk because Dex is acting like he always does around him. At the restaurant, Dex holds the door open for Nursey, and pulls his chair out before he sits down, just like always. Dex makes sure that Nursey’s tacos don’t have any peanut oil because Nursey is allergic but bad at remembering to check when he’s in a new place. Dex holds out his own taco for Nursey to try because “it’s bomb, Nurse, seriously, you have to try it,” and Nursey takes a bite because he’s hopeless.

Everything is so aggressively normal between them Nursey is seriously considering lighting himself on fire before he bursts out of his skin with holding back the torrent of emotions he has for the guy sitting across from him.

Nursey starts to flag down the waiter when Dex coughs a little and says, “I already paid. Got him when you went to the bathroom.”

“You didn’t have to do that, Dex,” Nursey says. “You just paid for the groceries this morning, and it’s not like I can’t afford it.”

“I know that,” Dex says, flushing. “I wanted to.”

“Why though?” Nursey asks.

Now Dex looks confused, and maybe a little hurt. “What do you mean, Nursey? It’s our taco date, of course I wanted to pay,” Dex says.

“Yeah it’s our taco date, but we could have just split it like we always do,” Nursey replies.

“Nurse. Derek.” The use of his first name snaps Nursey’s head up from where he’d been looking at his own lap to avoid eye contact with Dex. “Did you not realize I asked you on a date date?”

“What?” Nursey’s brain grinds to a halt. There’s no way he heard that correctly. Dex asked him on a date? But he’d just asked Nursey if he wanted to get tacos today. Hadn’t he? Thinking back, Dex had been blushing a lot last night, but Nursey had just thought that he’d been overheated from fixing the dryer again. And he had been stuttering. But that could have been from anything, really… Nursey’s brain restarts again in time to hear Dex still talking.

“…Can’t believe I thought you’d actually say yes to me of all people.”

“Wait no, Dex –“

“Let me get out of your hair, we can forget this ever happened –“

“Dex.”

“Good thing I’m already in the basement –“

“Dex!”

“This is so embarrassing, I’ll just go – “

“WILL!”

Dex finally stops moving, one arm in his coat, and halfway out of his seat.

“Please sit back down.” Dex sits, slowly, still blushing up a storm and looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here.

“I said that I didn’t know it was a date. Not that I didn’t want to date you.” Dex lets out a noise that Nursey is absolutely going to chirp him about. Later.

“I’m glad it’s a date, Will.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. I just didn’t realize because you’re always opening doors and stuff for me normally. You ask me to get food with you all the time. I didn’t realize that this time was supposed to be special.”

“Okay that’s embarrassing. I guess was trying to date you all those other times as well so I can see how you might have been confused,” Dex says sheepishly.

“I just thought that you were being my best friend?” Nursey tries.

“Oh my god, Nursey. I’m practically in love with you. The only reason I’m not all the way in love with you is because I’ve been actively trying not to be since there’s only one semester left and I didn’t want to derail your senior year. It didn’t seem fair to ask you to potentially change your post-graduation plans because of our relationship. Chowder’s been on my case to just say something because I’ve whining to him so much over how much I want to date you.”

For the second time in five minutes, Nursey has to restart his brain.

“Wow I should have really given you my poll earlier. Would have saved us some time.”

“Your…poll?”

“My poll about when is most inconvenient to fall in love with someone. Because my answer was the last semester of senior year. But I figured it would bias the results if I asked you.”

“Why would it bias the results?” Dex reaches across the table and grabs Nursey’s hand gently. Nursey’s heart rate speeds up and he can feel his own cheeks warming up.

“You know why.”

“Yeah but, I really need to hear the words, Nursey. Don’t want any confusion, do we?” Dex says shyly.

Nursey takes a deep breath in and out with his eyes closed. Centers himself. He laces his fingers through Dex's. Opening his eyes, he meets Dex’s gaze head on.

“Because I’m in love with you. And I didn’t ask you because I didn’t want to add more pressure to your captaincy. Because I didn’t want to distract you from your thesis or finding a job. Because – mphfff.”

Dex was kissing Nursey. Nursey was kissing Dex back. They were kissing. They were –

– still in the taco place.

Nursey pulls back reluctantly, “Want to get out of here?”

“I really do.”

“Chill.”

#nurseyweek2021 #nursey #dex #nurseydex #william jilliam poindexter #chill #Derek nurse #day 3: romance #now I want tacos

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smallmediumproblems · 6 years ago

Text

Life As We Know It

(Also on Ao3)

There is a place, you’ve heard, that people go to for help. It is the only place like it that you’ve heard of in this world. There are countless ways to find advice, information, knowledge, and secrets, but never help. The person who tells you this also tells you that you it’s not a place people should go. That when they do, they are very rarely heard from again. The things that live there are old and dangerous, though perhaps not as much of either as some others you’ve encountered. Most importantly, they are cunning. It’s what makes them dangerous, and what has allowed them to become old. The person who tells you this, who is not your friend, looks you up and down and admits that you might be fine. You, personally and specifically. Sometimes they take a liking to people like you.

You are reminded to be polite. The person who is not your friend suggests that you bring a gift. Music used to be a popular choice, little 45 records and cassette tapes, but it’s hard to know what they don’t have, anymore. If you can bake something, you should do so. If you can’t, then it’s rumored that one of them likes gin. Or was it sherry? You point out that there’s a substantial difference between the two. Your not-friend argues that you could say as much about the people they’re for.

You are not given an address. Instead, you are told which pub to go to, and whom to ask for directions when you get there.

“First time?” she asks. She looks too young for the knowing in her voice, the sympathy she has for you. She can’t know why you’re there. She must, however, know why people go looking for this place. Something in her smirk is unexpectedly sharp, not just with knowing, but with a secret.

It is your first time, so you tell her that. She nods, and pats you on the shoulder.

“Good. Don’t come back.” It’s not a rejection. Not a threat, or even a warning. It is a command, as matter-of-fact as if she were telling you which beer to order from the shabby chalkboard behind her.

The walk is longer than you expected, up steep cobbled roads and down alleyways you’re not sure were there the first time you looked. You are certain that you’ve gone in at least one circle, but nothing looks familiar. As you reach the last couple directions, you realize very abruptly that you are no longer being watched. You can’t remember the last time you felt that way. You can remember the first time, though. It feels like the first time you stayed awake past midnight, the first time you heard that very particular quiet that comes from a place where everyone except you is asleep. It is lonely. It is free.

It’s not midnight when you arrive at the small red-brick house. It is barely past noon. The front yard is also small, and painfully English, overflowing with flowers that you can smell before you step inside. Trestled archways lead back around the house, both so heavily weighed down by roses that they almost look unsafe to walk under. You ignore them. You were told not to wander. A single weathered loveseat is nestled amid an enormous bushel of lavender. There is no other garden furniture. Whatever lives here, you don’t suppose it entertains often.

You pause at the front door for a moment, your mind catching on something that looks out of place. Did the house have this many windows when you opened the front gate? Surely the door wasn’t this color before you took your eyes off it to look at the roses. You only looked away for a second. Something is unmistakably different. You remember, then, that you were told not to wander and not to linger too long without introducing yourself.

So you knock.

The man who opens the door was probably tall, once. His slouch looks intentional, like a petulant teenager. It contrasts with his shock of gray hair, almost white, kept long but not unkempt just around his jawline. He is wearing a green cable-knit sweater that doesn’t fit right and a pair of circular sunglasses, the kind with shields along the sides. They don’t go together even remotely well. The sweater has pulled back from his arm where he is holding the door open, and you can see a large, mottled scar around his hand.

“Alright then, who are you?” he demands.

You give him your name, and as brief an explanation as you can muster. You were told to answer any question you are asked. Hiding things will make it harder for them to help you. The man doesn’t seem to recognize anything he dislikes in you, so he gestures for you to follow him inside.

“You don’t need the lights, do you?” he asks. The inside of the house is in fact completely unlit, though it’s hardly pitch black with the sun streaming in across hardwood floors and thick, bright carpets. You suppose that you don’t, and you tell him as much. It occurs to you that most people don’t wear sunglasses inside. The thought sticks in your head until you notice a pair of white canes propped up next to a coat rack. A clock somewhere in the house strikes 12:15.

You are led to a dining room that is warm with sunlight and opens directly up into the kitchen. There is no music, but the sounds of birds and fountains and very distant cars drift through the open French doors, along with the smell of more flowers in the backyard. The room sounds alive. A second man is bustling around the kitchen, rifling through teabags as he waits impatiently for a kettle to finish heating. He is larger than the other one, though that’s not difficult, considering how thin the other one is. His sunglasses are clunky, unfashionable wraparounds that suit the soft curve of his face. He’s well put-together in a neat collared shirt and v-neck sweater. He is not young, but his curly blonde hair doesn’t yet have a touch of gray in it, and he has the kind of features that always stay a decade or so behind his actual age

“You’re here early,” he comments, with something that might be approval. “Go ahead and sit down, we’ll get started in a second.”

You are already sitting before you can think to respond. There is a low, polite noise at your elbow, and you look over to see very toothy dog smiling at you. You waste a few seconds trying to figure out what kind of dog, exactly, he is. The closest you get is some kind of bull terrier crossed with about five other things, one of which might have been a sofa. The combination is hideous and adorable. He is sitting just close enough that you could reach out to touch him. A tag on his collar reads HELLO MY NAME IS MACGUFFIN, with what you assume to be the same text spelled out in braille underneath.

“Don’t be a pest,” says the man in the green sweater to the dog. Macguffin looks briefly over his shoulder at him and lies down, still staring at you. “He thinks you have food.”

You remember that you do, and you bring out the tupperware container of cookies you made that morning. You explain that you usually put walnuts in, but you weren’t sure if they’d be allergic. They’re not, although the thinner man doesn’t much like them in cookies.

“Well, that’s very thoughtful,” says the man with the wraparound sunglasses. “You’d be surprised how many people bring store-bought stuff, really sort of defeats the purpose.”

“Or gin,” says the man in the green sweater, clearly confused. “I still haven’t figured out how that got started.”

The first man laughs. “I blame Melanie,” he says, “Of course she’s going to tell people to bring us gin if you keep giving it to her.”

The kettle is finished, so he sits down at the table across from you with three cups of tea. The other one, hearing him do so, sits as well.

You are asked to tell your story. You’ve met things that ask questions and pull answers like wings from a trapped insect, and these are not those things. This might be easier if they were. Your answer is slow, halting, and deliberate, tripping over itself and smattered with half-remembered details. The man in the green sweater is clearly impatient, but also silent, reaching for another cookie every time it looks like he wants to say something. After the third or fourth one, the other man quietly puts a hand over his and keeps it there. This seems to have the same effect as the cookies.

You tell them about something that looks back at you out of mirrors, something that has your face and is not you. It was friendly, at first. Saying that out loud sounds like an excuse, but it is true, so it is what you tell them. It was helpful, and when it asked you to do things for it, you wanted to help it back. You knew it was dangerous. That’s what you liked about it. But something happened. No, you did something, something so dark and frightening that you consider lying about it. You take a breath to consider this, and as you do so, you notice another scar on the thinner man’s neck. It is long, wide, and pockmarked, like whatever made it was blunt and jagged. The longer you look, the more scars you see, little crescents up over his jawline. He’s wearing long sleeves. Both of them are. You look at the other man, his head tilted very slightly at attention. You wonder what scars he has, or, if he doesn’t, what he had to do to avoid getting them.

You tell the nice old men about the awful thing you did. It is quiet as you wait for a reaction that does not come. The sound of the world outside continues.

The man with the wraparound sunglasses asks gently what you want to do about it. You want it to stop, to be over. He taps thoughtfully on the other man’s hand, still resting under his own.

“How badly do you want it?” he asks. “You have other options, y’know. What do you think, for the Stranger?”

This is apparently addressed to the other man, who doesn’t sound pleased about the answer he has. “This case? Flesh, maybe.”

“Mmm,” the first man agrees. “Where is Jared, these days?”

“Long gone,” says the second man. “Said he moved to Berlin, I think. Last time I tried to contact him, he said to talk to Marie.”

“Oh, I liked Marie,” the first man says pleasantly. “She fixed up Macguffin after that car accident. Didn’t she boy, didn’t she make you all good as new?”

The dog hastens over to be petted, and the second man makes a derisive noise. “After some negotiating to get the right number of limbs on him, yes.”

Seeing Macguffin move, you’re less sure that his indecipherable mixture of traits is something he was born with. He seems happy enough, either way. As nice as Marie sounds, you explain that that life is not for you. You don’t want to hide behind a different power. You want out. Completely.

More than anything you’ve said so far, this seems to throw them. They don’t exchange a nervous look, of course, but the man in the green sweater tightens his grip on the hand he is holding.

“Are you sure about this?” asks the man in the wraparound sunglasses. “These things have consequences. If it got round to the wrong people that we were passing this stuff out, it might get messy pretty quickly, and not just for us.”

You’re sure. Why wouldn’t you go through with it, anyway?

“It’s… Not pleasant,” says the man in the green sweater. “None of them are, but the Stranger’s is especially harsh.”

You want to know. You need to know. You can’t hurt anybody again, not like you did.

This answer seems to satisfy them. The noise from outside has gone away. You don’t know how long it’s been gone for, or if it will ever come back. The world pauses for these nice old men to tell you how to end your life as you know it. It is a simple thing, which only makes it more frightening. No time for doubts or second thoughts. It is a painful thing, and it would hurt until the end of your natural life if you were to do it. It is a terrible thing. It is not as terrible as what you have done.

You ask them if it’s worth it.

They smile. Each one has a different smile for an answer. The man in the green sweater has given this smile so often that it is etched into his face in creases and lines that you only now match to their source. His smile is tired and persistent, and the way his jaw moves around it, you can almost hear the words upon words that he has decided would not compare with how it makes him feel. His head turns slightly towards where he is holding someone’s hand, as if that might help him picture what it looks like. The man with the wraparound sunglasses is grinning so wide that it almost looks painful. He is getting away with something that he shouldn’t have done, and he is smug and triumphant and full of joy. It’s a private thing, surely meant only for himself, and it strikes you that it might as well be, since the only person that matters cannot see it.

“That’s up to you, isn’t it?” they tell you.

#it's 1:30 am time to post jonmartin #whoop this is 2000 words lmao #I got carried away #tma #the magnus archives #jonmartin #fanfiction #smallsays

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bma-2020 · 5 years ago

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Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

#out.#illness cw #health cw #food mention #ive been writing this since noon and its now two pm so this is great #i’s usually put this under a read more but... maybe most people dont deserve a read more rn lol #their behavior will keep being awful if its not pointed out to them so #im done im gonna go welt up from hugging my cat and cry for a bit because i feel mean

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travllingbunny · 6 years ago

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The 100 6x05 The Gospel of Josephine

While we’re still on the hiatus, waiting two weeks for the next episode, at least I have more time to finally put my thoughts on episode 6x05 in one place and post the belated review.

I appreciated this episode better on my second watch, because, the first time, I found it a bit hard to believe that no one besides Bellamy was suspicious of „Clarke“’s new, decidedly non-Clarke-like behavior, even though they all noticed at least some of it, and that they didn’t put two and two together after they had already found out about bodysnatching. However, putting it into perspective, it all happened over a very short period of time – and besides, it is such a huge thing to accept. Most people wouldn’t even want to believe it.

Still, while everyone seems to have caught the small blunders, like calling Murphy „John“, I do wonder if anyone except Bellamy was alerted by the fact that „Clarke“ was OK with bodysnatching and arguing that it’s OK because it doesn’t affect them. Could it be that their idea of her is a bit skewed? The funny thing is how much others (well, mostly Raven and Murphy) were bashing Clarke this season as the Worst Person Ever, and now her body is possessed by an actual villain, who is the polar opposite of Clarke: selfish, egotistical, immoral, arrogant, devoid of compassion and caring, allergic to children, and convinced that she is better than everyone and that she can just walk over the lesser, disposable people. There are even some people in the fandom who somehow imagine Clarke to be the Bad Guy, in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, which is a really incredible misunderstanding of the story and characters. Well, if people wanted to see a real villain in Clarke’s body? They got her now.

I expected the reveal about Clarke not being dead (surprise, surprise) but dormant, to happen at the end of this episode. It turns out it will probably happen in the next one.. Even though I can’t wait to see real Clarke again, watching JosephineClarke (JC) try and fail to pretend to be her was a lot of fun. To be fair, JC knows very little about Clarke, so of course she wouldn’t be able to guess how she’s supposed to act, but her hubris also got in the way. Thinking that, just because she was once in a famous play, she would be able to pretend to be a person she’s never met, is perfectly in character for JC, with her dismissive attitude towards „disposable“ people, which made her blunders so much more enjoyable to watch. Eliza Taylor did a great job giving JC completely different voice inflections and mannerisms from Clarke, at times just as playful and carefree as Sara Thompson’s original Josephine we saw in 6x02, but also more evil and scheming. Her „Clarke“ act went from basically just being JC herself in new situations, to doing something of a caricature of Clarke, in her „These people are happy, their world works“ speech in her final scene with Bellamy. But, she’s certainly smart, so she ended up deciding there’s no point of pretending with some people, namely Bellamy, and that she needs a better ’coach“ to teach her how to play Clarke and manipulate the one person who, as it turns out, matters to the Primes’ plan, Abby, so it will be interesting to see her doing her best after getting some pointers on how Clarke would act.

We also learned about something called Offering Grove – apparently, the Sanctum community doesn’t just sacrifice people to their ’gods“, the Primes, so they could live forever – they also do the classic human sacrifice, in this case – to the meat-eating trees. Lovely. And we see another weird thing specific to this planet – the strange green storm that seems to destroy or age or suck the life out of living beings. I’m hoping for more info on that in the following episodes.

One of the great things about this season is the amazing cinematography. Metaphorically, season 6 has been dark AF, but, fortunately, it’s not literally dark, as so many shows are these days when they try to be „dark and gritty“, so everyone wears black and grey and you can’t see a damn thing on screen due to poor lighting. No – The 100 season 6 has incredibly bright colors, with a planet that looks beautiful, with Sanctum looking like Renaissance Fair and with people in all sorts of rich, colorful clothes – and it’s all incredibly weird and disturbing.

Josephine’s first actions after waking up in a new body? Kill her „best friend“ Kaylee, after calling her out on the fact that Kaylee killed her in her previous body; paint a portrait of herself, while dancing and singing along to „Alors on dance“; take a shower and change clothes.

So, Josephine thinks that Kaylee and her family were running away because they were scared Russell would find out that Kaylee killed Josephine VII. But how were they supposed to find out? The only new ’naming’ was Priya. The next one was to be in 14 years, when Rose turns 21, and that was supposed to be Jasmine (someone Miranda loved, but we don’t get info what she was to her). There wouldn’t be a new Josephine for a long time. This doesn’t really make sense, unless there was another reason why they were eager to get away from Sanctum.

It’s been fun piecing the info about the identities and relationships of the Primes. So far, we know for sure that there were 13 people in the Eligius 3 mission = four families, plus Dr Gabriel Santiago, the geneticist. Those were:

Russell, Simone and Josephine Lightbourne;

Priya Desai and her teenage son Ryker (we learn her last name from her plaque in this episode)

Kaylee („Leelee“ as Josephine calls her), her mother (Faye), father and brother (I currently think the father was called Victor and the brother Daniel).

Miranda and her family, which consisted of Jasmine and a man we saw on the portraits of the Primes on the walls of Sanctum in 6x02 (some say that his name on the plaque in high resolution reads as Caleb Mason). We still don’t know for sure what the relations within that family are. I initially assumed Jasmine was her daughter, but from the way the portraits were lined up (parents above, kids below – and only Caleb was above, with two portraits below), it seems more likely they were sisters. (Or, who knows,, maybe one is his daughter and another is her wife.)

Although Josephine and Kaylee were apparently ’best friends“ (weird friendship, that one), that relationship had to develop that way only after their first lifetime, because the age difference between them seemed to be at least 10 years. Josie doesn’t seem to have much use for children, and Kaylee and her brother were pre-adolescent children during the original mission – the same ones that Josie used to test the unknown plants that, for all she knew, could have killed them. „I didn’t try it. I gave it to the kids. Leelee loved it. If it was poisonous, they’d be dead by now!“

The backstory is that Kaylee killed Josie, after Josie killed someone called Isaac, and non-Prime that Kaylee loved, possibly a boyfriend, though Josie claimed he volunteered to be sacrificed in the Offering Grove. I guess murder is a bit less seriously taken if it just means you get to wait for a few decades to be put in another body. So, basically, Josie decommissioned Kaylee, so, right now, there are just 6 active Primes: Russell, Simone, Miranda, Priya, Ryker, and Josie, but the other Primes don’t know about her yet. They wouldn’t be happy to know Russell and Simone skipped the line for their daughter – Miranda, in particular, would be pissed. They also don’t want the others to know about the whole killing thing, which is why all the sneaking had to happen. The Primes need the Earth people because they hope several of them are Nightbloods. It’s a reasonable assumption, but an incorrect one – but that’s not going to be important after what JC learns later about Abby’s ability to make Nightblood in the lab.

JC and Russell are kind of like Cage and Dante: Russell really likes to think of himself as a moral, noble guy, in spite of the horrible things he’s been doing for 236 years, so he has moral boundaries, such as, no bodyshatching without the hosts’ consent (it’s OK if you first brainwash people into worshipping you so that they will willingly sacrifice themselves and believe they’re becoming „one“ with the deity and that it’s a great honor), though he broke that rule for Josie; and no eugenics, which Josephine has been arguing for, even to the point that she wrote a book about it. From the immoral sociopathic POV, selective breeding really is the best and most obvious way to ensure the birth of new Nightbloods, but Russell insists he won’t treat human beings as cattle. (Even though he already does in many other ways?) As in season 2, you find yourself wondering: should I be more on the side of the immoral sociopath, or the huge hypocrite? Answer: f*ck both of them.

I really hope Josephine’s science books contain the driest, most straightforward prose possible, because, while she’s brilliant in many ways, literary talent is certainly not one of her strength. „This Ferrari I’m wearing“? Fun line, but what a mixed metaphor.

So, yeah, as we all know Josephine finds Murphy cute rather than Bellamy, which was obviously thrown there to subvert viewer expectations, and stress once more how completely different she is from Clarke etc.… but „he’s cute“?! She’s 200 years old and she talks like a pre-teen? There’s been some discussion over whether the Primes ever really emotionally mature over their many lifetimes. Josephine doesn’t sound any more mature than she was in the flashback in 6x02, and come to think of it, Ryker kind of has an attitude that could fit a teenager. But I don’t think it has anything to do with brain maturity, they are in adult brains, and they certainly have experiences of multiple lifetimes and centuries. I think it’s a consequence of they way of life (similar to how people who, due to circumstances, still live with their parents and are supported by them way into adulthood tend to act younger than people who have adult responsibilities early in life): all the Primes are locked into the past (even with the way JC can’t stop using 21st century slang and references), and even new relationships they develop cannot last beyond one lifetime, while their relationships with each other can go on indefinitely. Kaylee acts like an adult, not a little girl, but her primary relationships are always going to be with her parents and brother, and, as we saw in 6x02, those familial relationships didn’t change at all: during the hijacking, the dad („younger man“) seemed to be telling the son/brother („handsome older gentleman“) what to do, and Momma Faye (the „younger woman“) was definitely in charge and ordering Kaylee around („Just push the damn buttons, Kaylee!“) and telling her with her dying breath that she has to save the heads, though Kaylee already knew that.

Speaking of all the time in the world that the Primes have had – couldn’t Russell and Simone have made an effort to learn Mandarin in all that time? You live so long and you never care to learn new skills and expand knowledge? What do they even do with their time? At least Josephine has been writing books.

I wonder when Gabriel decided to leave and became the enemy of the Primes. He must have had an attack of conscience, after having done such awful things. Of course, people who were developed by Gabriel from embryos they brought from Earth were the ones used as hosts for the Primes, and are also obviously where the entire human population of Sanctum came from. We also learned that 45 or 46 of little embryo girls (I don’t remember the exact number) died in his experiments before he managed to successfully implant Josephine’s mind into one of them, after realizing that the host has to have a fully developed, adult brain. (Was this also the case with the minds of Prime children – if Kaylee, her brother and Ryker were also killed during Russell’s killing spree?) And „consent is key“ wasn’t something Russell cared at the time, since he had no problem with Josie’s mind being implanted in the body of the obviously unwilling and horrified Brooke, who was fighting and screaming until Gabriel injected her with the paralyzing serum (now we know why it was initially developed). Apart from the effect of loneliness and isolation after so many (all?) of the other people in the mission were killed, Russell’s guilt over it, Gabriel’s obsession with Josephine, finding out at some point that Earth was no more (7 years after they came to the planet), another factor could have been that they had the same attitude towards clones as many people seem to have in real life – that they are somehow not „real people“ because they didn’t get conceived and born the regular way (what’s with all the talk of cloning as a way to harvest organs?!).

How did the Primes choose Jade to be the bodyguard of the hosts (and now JC, who doesn’t seem to need someone to protect her anyway)? Did they go „Let’s find the smallest person in this compound!“ But I have a feeling that „bodyguard“ is not exactly the best description of Jade’s job. It’s just what Diyoza called her, and it seemed like the closest term.

In spite of all the new info about the Primes, this was an episode with strong character moments for Murphy, Abby (with important character revelations about both, about things that make them potentially most vulnerable to Josie’s manipulation), Octavia, Diyoza, Gaia, even some for Jackson, certainly for Jordan (it’s his best episode so far), and Bellamy had some good scenes, but in his case, this episode was a calm before the storm, leading up to the moment when realizes the horrible truth about JC.

Bellamy also deserves points for making plans to explore the planet (and pointing out how weird it is that the Sanctum people haven’t explored much of the planet for 236 years… really, what have they been doing? They’re content to stay locked in their small, narrow space and old habits), and go and found their own community somewhere, away from Sanctum, after learning the important things from them. Someone had to finally mention all these things, and those 400 people still on the ship. To be fair, they’ve only been in Sanctum for a few days and were mostly distracted by other things, including trying to get Sanctum people to accept them and teach them to survive.

Jordan has been fleshed out a lot in the last couple of episodes. We knew him as a sweet, optimistic manboy, and we learned of his brilliant scientific knowledge in the premiere, and sure, he could be naive and trusting, but in 6x04, we saw his sadness and feelings of guilt as he talked about his upbringing and his parents, and now we’ve seen him make the right conclusions and be the first person to pay attention to the suspicious things in Sanctum (which, I think, the others would have also noticed earlier if they hadn’t been so eager to see the Sanctum people as good and to find peace), and determined to investigate what’s going on, after realizing that his girlfriend really isn’t the same person anymore, literally. He had to face obstacles such as, others not taking him seriously (and dismissing him as just a naive guy who’s dealing with being dumped) and the extremely brainwashed Sanctum citizens, including even Delilah’s mother. Priya VII even tried to pacify him by claiming Delilah was happy, which sounds like BS, since we know that the Primes believe that the hosts are ’dead’, which means they have no clue what, if anything, the host is feeling.

However, I didn’t like Jordan’s line about „Heart Bellamy“ – that was too much like breaking the fourth wall, like Jordan was the stand-in for the fandom and the things they say about Bellamy pre- and post-Praimfaya (which I’ve been pretty fed up with, to the point I’m almost starting to hate all the „Head“ and „Heart“ mentions, since they’re used to ridiculously oversimplify the characters of both Bellamy and Clarke). I guess I can imagine Monty and Harper telling them that Bellamy told them on the ring he had to use his head more, to honor Clarke’s memory, because she told him to do that – but it’s still jarring.

When Jordan, Gaia, Bellamy and Murphy broke into the lab and found the videos, it may seem like it was way too easy and that all the info was just lying there waiting, but the fact that the Primes didn’t think they needed anyone to guard it shows how complacent they are, how much they’re used to everyone in Sanctum supporting them, except for a rare Child of Gabriel – and everyone including CoG knows what and who they are, so there’s no reason to guard the information, only to guard the Nightbloods/future hosts.

It was satisfying to see Gaia go from her attitude that every religion should be respected (which is, on one hand, nice in general in terms of tolerance, but also absurd if taken too far, like including cults, created by people who made themselves gods so they can oppress others), to being horrified by bodysnatching and the way the Primes have brainwashed an entire community to worship them and sacrifice people to them. She made the same points about the difference between the Flame and the mind drives that I talked about in my review of 6x04, including the fact that the former was created to help future generations with accumulated knowledge and advice (as it does not take over the host, who is still in control of their body), rather than to let people live forever. (Which was presumably Becca’s intention and the initial purpose for the mind drives, too – before Gabriel modified them so they could store the entire consciousness of a Prime, allowing them to live as the same person in a new body.)

But I also enjoyed Murphy’s snarky but truthful comments about the Grounder religion – the fact that they made children fight to the death for the right to become Commanders is incredibly messed up, too. And Becca was also not a god but a scientist who made herself Nightblood in the lab – although that would have been more relevant to the plot of 4x09 (where the Grounders were shocked by the „blasphemy“ of Clarke trying to pass her scientifically created Nightblood as the same thing as the Nightblood of the Commanders… which also came from a lab).

The reactions were interesting - Jordan was the voice of morality and humanity, but I think almost everyone agreed with him, except for Murphy. He was the only one – other than Josephine – to defend the Primes and their way of life – and it kind of feels realistic that at least someone would be tempted by immortality as an option. It makes sense it’s Murphy, especially after his recent brush with death that made him think he saw what hell was like, and it also makes sense he would say that openly.

While Bellamy didn’t speak much during those scenes where the group was discussing their shocking discovery, he was, of course, agreeing with Jordan (as confirmed with his later comments to „Clarke“) – but he was, instead, focused on watching „Clarke’s“ surprising reactions. I think he was getting more and more suspicious of her throughout the episode, and since finding out about bodysnatching, he was starting to realize the horrible truth.

Let’s see how many times JC screwed up while playing Clarke:

She was uncomfortable when hugged by Madi, and then told her she can go to school, contrary to what Clarke told Madi in the previous episode. But Madi was just being a child and was happy to get what she wanted.

JC also, naturally, didn’t understand a word of what Gaia said in Trig (to make it impossible for Jade to understand what she was saying), but she covered it reasonably well.

Saying „Chill out“ (21st century slang is not something people from the Ark are familiar with) was what caught Bellamy’s attention.

Then he asked her about her happy demeanour and the „fun“ she had with the doctor, referring to seeing her dance with Cillian at the club. Bellamy asking about these things isn’t exactly typical of him, either, but it’s interesting. He may not have even been fully aware where it came from, but to me, it sounded like he needed to know more: „So, uh, I’m glad you look happy, but is it because of the doc? Are you really into him? It’s not serious, is it? Please tell me it’s not? I’m just curious for… reasons“. But JC immediately assumed it was about sex, confirmed Clarke had sex with Cillian and was basically like „I banged him and I’m an animal in bed“. Which was one of the most non-Clarke things imaginable: talking openly about her sex life, and bragging about it, and to Bellamy of all people (the two of them have always avoided any talk about each other’s love life or sex life or each other’s love interests). But JC walked out thinking „Nailed it“!“ Bellamy seemed too busy being surprised, confused and dealing with all sorts of feelings and images in his head caused by her comment, so he probably didn’t suspect anything at this point.

JC made more blunders with Abby – including writing with her right hand, which Abby noticed; making a comment that Josephine was a „visionary“ when Abby calls her a monster, and having new knowledge that Clarke didn’t have. A lot of people are harsh on Abby because she didn’t figure it out. However, I think that’s unfair – she didn’t know about the bodysnatching, so she couldn’t put two and two together. The human mind tends to rationalize things it can’t make sense of. She was also very tired, after not having gotten any sleep (reading books from the library instead), and distracted.

Bellamy was getting suspicious when „Clarke“ argued that bodysnatching is „not murder if they go willingly“ and that the Sanctum people are not a danger to them (in spite of herself and Madi being Nightbloods). JC was at that point worried about being found out, so she made sure to take a vial of the paralyzing serum if she is found out. After she left, everyone focused on stopping Jordan from making trouble publicly, as he went to openly confront Priya.

The group talk in the bar was when I think Bellamy definitely had clear suspicions about „Clarke“. First she called Murphy „John“, which weirded out everyone, including Murphy and Jordan. But I think it was her arguments that they should just be OK with what the Primes were doing, and look away – that from „I want to save everyone“ Clarke – that sealed the deal. That and the „Eureka“ look on her face when she heard about Abby being able to make Nightbloods in the lab.

It would have been safer if Bellamy hadn’t confronted „Clarke“ on his own, but I think he desparately wanted his suspicion to not be true. He tested her with Trig – which is a good test, as it’s the one language no Sanctum person could know – and she guessed some of the meaning from the context the first time, but the second time, it was too specific even for her to figure it out (no matter how good with picking up languages she is). So JC was like, my cover is blown, why even pretend anymore, and started taunting him instead. Bellamy’s reaction, the shock and horror on his face, especially as JC confirmed her identity after paralyzing him, was heartbreaking, and made this the best scene in the episode. I cannot even imagine what reactions we’ll see from him in the following episodes. He already went through losing Clarke and believing her dead once before – but that was her heroic sacrifice. This was awful and done against her will. He is going to raise hell, and do everything to fight the Primes and get Clarke back – once he realizes that she is not completely gone.

Murphy naturally had to go along with Josephine for the time being, but is he really going to be on Josie’s side, or play a double agent and help his friends? I believe he will do the latter – he does care about Clarke, and the group, he wants to be a part of the family, and we’ve seen how much he’s changed and that he was willing to die and let the others save themselves in the season 5 finale. I think that he will be tempted for a while to accept the offer, because of his fear of death and hell, but will eventually choose his friends over immortality.

Another character who may be tempted in the next episode is Abby – as JC, pretending to be Clarke, will no doubt play on her desire to save Kane. However, that won’t work when Abby realizes that JC took Clarke’s body – and I doubt JC can keep up the ruse too long.

Many fans tend to talk about and judge Abby only in terms of her role as Clarke’s mother, but she is a character by herself, with her own trauma and issues that are not about being a mom. For the last two seasons, she has been struggling with the trauma and guilt from the Dark Year and her role in Blodreina’s rule. Her comment to Jackson, where she compared both him and herself to war criminals, made a good point: „I was just doing my job“/“I was just listening to orders“ is a poor excuse when you participate in crimes. And her desire to save Kane isn’t just because of romantic love, but also a reaction to that guilt, and on top of that, the guilt of failing Kane multiple times due to her addiction, and indirectly causing his injuries by indulging Vinson (a symbolic embodiment of her addiction and guilt over cannibalism). Kane and Abby have switched roles since season 1, and he has become her moral center. It’s because Kane’s response to feeling guilty was a healthy one: he decided to change his worldview completely and to start doing better. He tried to redeem himself through sacrifice in season 1, but he was never suicidal for the sake of it. But Abby doesn’t know how to deal with guilt, and gets crushed by it. When she feels she’s failed her own moral standards, she starts hating herself. Her death wish at the time of Praimfaya was a result of guilt over the things she did trying to find a solution to save everyone, and her addiction in season 5 was also response to guilt. Now she’s come to the point where she thinks that she doesn’t deserve to survive, but Kane does. She’s made him a symbol of all that’s good in the world.

I’m really enjoying the scenes with Diyoza and Octavia. The two main enemies/villain leaders of season 5 are now on a rogue buddy trip. Diyoza has been amazing this season, but now I’m starting to be afraid she’s doing to die, after we get her backstory and she gives birth. And we really need to get her full backstory. She’s almost playing a mentor to Octavia now, because she had gone through similar things and understands where Octavia’s behavior comes from, maybe better than anyone else, but she’s rational and pragmatic where Octavia is impulsive and self-destructive. The different ways Diyoza and Octavia dealt with the live sand is the best example of the contrast between them. It was funny when Octavia said „At least I’m trying“ – she really didn’t get how the whole ’The harder you fight, the faster you die“ thing works! But Octavia has shown some of her old humanity, again – this time, by telling Diyoza to save herself and her baby – and, for the first time in a while, a desire to live, since she saved herself from the wave. Nothing like the danger of death to make you realize you don’t really want to die.

Interesting: the Children of Gabriel calling that live sand thing „The Crucible“ – another reference to Miller’s play (Gabriel’s favorite play! Banned by the Primes!). Do CoG identify with the unfairly accused people from that play?

Xavier’s motivations are becoming clearer – he is a rational, no-nonsense guy, just like Diyoza, and wants to get info from them rather than kill them.

I don’t know what the weird green wave is. A lot of people seem to think it has something to do with the Anomaly, but it could just be another phenomenon. I couldn’t even make out what exactly messed up thing it did to Octavia’s hand – did it age it up, suck out some of its life, or what.

Raven, Emori, Echo and Miller were MIA this episode since they were away – Ryker is showing Raven how to build a radiation shield, and the others are protecting them. Next episode, I hope to see more Emori (and Memori interaction). We know from the promo there will be Echo and Jade interaction (they could bond and compare notes on being the follower/servant who follows orders and doesn’t question them) there will also probably be more Raven and Ryker interaction; JC will try to manipulate Abby with Murphy’s help, but I doubt she’ll be able to fool her for a long time, and everyone should find out that she is not Clarke. And I’m sure we’ll learn that Clarke’s mind is really dormant rather than destroyed, and it will be interesting to see how she fights back inside her own mind and her friends and family try to save her, and hopefully kick JC’s and the Primes’ asses.

Rating: 8.5/10

#the 100 #the 100 6x05 #the gospel of josephine #the 100 season 6 #clarke griffin #josephine lightbourne #bellamy blake #john murphy #abby griffin #gaia kom trikru #russell lightbourne #octavia blake #charmaine diyoza #xavier #marcus kane #jordan green #gabriel santiago #the children of gabriel #the primes

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himboholhorse-moving · 6 years ago

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1 2 4 7 8 9 13 18 20 26 27 29 30 32 39 40 41 43/44 45 46 49 51 53 55 56 57 59 63 65 that is. so many dghsdghsdgv I'm sorry I just see an ask meme and go crazy aaaa go stupid aaaa. You can just answer whichever u like from those!! also 69(nice): you seem rly nice and funny from your 🅱️osts and I appreciate u... I hope you can find better irl friends who aren't trash

HDSKFJKS I completely understand but lucky for u I LOVE to talk !!

1) How are you?

Pretty good, actually!! Which is a nice change of pace. I went to Walmart with some friends yesterday and got a few things, baked a family recipe that my friends LOVE, and finally did my laundry (it’s been a couple weeks we love depression and executive dysfunction dfhkjsfd). I went to Cracker Barrel with some friends and earlier and played a 4-way game of Tetris after. :3c

2) Post a picture of yourself.

Here you go !!

4) What is your entire name?

Sierra Alexis and my last name is something constantly misspelled so I’ll give you the name of a historical figure whose name is a letter off from mine: George B. McClellan, to whom I may or may not be related because last name variations are fuckin’ WEIRD.

7) Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality.

I’m a Capricorn sun and moon, and Libra rising !! And from what I’ve read on Twitter from various astrologers, like Milkstrology, I LOVE her, I’d say it’s pretty accurate with my personality!! I like to say Capricorn’s aren’t cold bitches but, I Have A Tendency To Be One !!

8) What did you do on your last birthday?

God what DID I do on my last birthday… it was in January, so like, I SHOULD remember… OH I went to IHOP with my friends !! I share a birthday with another friend and I got a JoJo notebook and something called a Fuggler! They’re stuffed animals more or less but designed to be “ugly.” I got one that looks like Philadelphia Flyers mascot Gritty because I LOVE Gritty… he’s so fun and funky.

9) What is one thing you’d like to accomplish before your next birthday?

Get all my requests in my inbox over on my writing blog done KJHFDJKSF it’s been a few months and life has been. Hectic to say the least.

13) If you could change your eye color, would you?

There’s so much weird as hell brown-eye-phobia so like… I think blue eyes would be pretty neat. OR PURPLE… give me some unnatural eye colors pls...

18) Do you have any tattoos?

Not yet!! I’m going to get one the next time I go back home for break. :3c And I have a few ideas for other ones!! I wanna get a big-ass “Dragon Age: Origins” tattoo that’s the dragon on the cover on my thigh. I also wanna get a DA2 and “Inquisition” tattoo… and the Joestar birthmark… too many ideas…

20) Left or right handed?

Right-handed !! I could have been left-handed or ambidextrous if I broke my arm AFTER I started kindergarten, but alas that was before.

26) Something you are working on right now:

This !! But also the script for my next podcast episode that I record on uhhh Monday I think. Should probably figure that one out dsjfjhsf

27) Do you have any “rules” about food?

I answered that in the last ask !!

29) What would you say is your best quality?

I also answered this in the last ask !!

30) What do you think you’re really good at?

Writing, I’d say! And memorizing trivia about the stuff I’m super into. If it’s stuff pertaining to “M*A*S*H” or old movies or TV shows or actors or specific historical events, I will know that shit FOR LIFE. Don’t ask me to do math pls thank u

32) What talent do you wish you’d been born with?

I wish I was able to do stuff with music. That was never really in my blood, despite all the music classes they make you take in elementary school. I just never learned how to memorize or read sheet music. :/ I would have loved to play violin, tho… my friend plays and she says I would have been a good cellist.

39) Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?

YES… have for years. I still have my Care Bear from when I was 5, Gritty as mentioned above, a plush of my school’s mascot, and a little Fugo !! He’s so tiny.

40) What do you think about the most?

Everything and constantly and all at once. But the past really because I can never let stuff go and even the small things I mess up on haunt me forever… Wish that wasn’t the case but it is !!

41) Share two habits:

Biting my nails and having a very specific routine in which I get ready when I wake up. Like, I’ve gotta go brush my hair before I put my important cards in my left pocket, then put on my silver bracelet, then my beaded bracelet, then my earbuds in my right pocket, then put my earrings in. I HAVE to do it in that order…

And other oddities that include, like, if I need to go around something I HAVE to follow the urge to go one way and not the other, lest I feel the need to go back and fix it. And then which foot goes first before I reach a crack in the sidewalk, or up or down a curb, etc.

43) What are your career goals?

If I can just make people happy or get some kind of joy out of the things I do, I’d call that enough. :)

44) What is your ideal career?

Mmm, either a film historian or a film professor !! Preferably at the college I’m at right now but wherever the wind takes me, I’ll go! Or a Twitch streamer or YouTuber, it really depends on my mood jdhfjskf

45) Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

It was pretty much the same !! Freshman year was pretty lively, I didn’t have a job on campus yet though, or my podcast. Everything else is basically the same!

46) Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

CONSTANTLY… good or bad it’ll play back over and over and over again.

49) Do you have any phobias?

HOO BOY, DO I… fear of heights; fear of insects/bugs/arachnids/bees/wasps; I have a strong dislike of the number 13 but I don’t know if it’s a phobia, I just. REALLY hate it; the unknown, more or less what lurks somewhere beyond where I can see. Not so much a fear of the dark with that one, just what could BE in it.

51) Are you allergic to anything? If so, what?

I answered this in my last ask, as well!

53) Ever come close to death?

Two or three times, maybe? Two of them involved what’s called a laryngospasm, typically it can happen when your sick, which is what happened to me both times. Basically your throat just closes up on your for a hot minute and you can’t breathe. The first time I genuinely thought I was going to die (and my dad still sent me to school that day… HOE), the second time I was also sick and was losing/had lost my voice DURING A JOB RETREAT and it happened in the middle of the night so that was funny sitting there gasping for breath in the pitch dark.

At the FIRST retreat I went on for that job, you had to take pictures as part of a scavenger hunt, and the place used to be an old military fort, so there were still the old bunkers there. We had to take one on top of it and I was taking the picture, and it’s a wide shot so I go to take a step back but before I do I look behind me. If I hadn’t I would have fallen a good 10-15 feet down onto solid Civil War-era bunker concrete. I’d consider that being a “close to death” moment because I really could have died!

55) A random fact about yourself:

I have a half-brother !! My sis and I finally found him after her 23andMe results came back (which she decided to do despite us being like THE GOVERNMENT WILL COLLECT OUR DATA) and we didn’t think our mom would be happy she found him but she was !! My sis might reach out and contact him, she just wanted our mom’s permission first to do it.

56) What are three things most people don’t know about you?

Well, that I have a half-brother. I don’t mention it a lot. Aside from y’all on here and my sister, most everyone else doesn’t know I’m nonbinary! Everyone else knows I’m bi though lmao. And that there were times I’d stretch or bend the truth or lie about something just to impress someone else. It’s a… Bad Habit. Another thing is that most people don’t know I like coffee? Like I need to put a shit ton of creamer in with it because I’m a Bitch, but yeah.

57) An unknown fact about your life:

I wouldn’t call this an “unknown” fact but I’d used to go to work with my dad every now and again when he worked at the Home Depot and he was assistant manager. I’d either chill in the back room which was an office he shared with two other guys, or walk around the store with him. I had my own apron, too, which was my name with “Mini Mac” next to it, “Mac” being my dad’s nickname and something easier to say than my last name. I actually helped a few customers out so I wonder if I should have gotten paid for that despite being like, ages 9-13 when I’d go jshfkjd

And I guess I technically tested video games as a kid? Basically, when my dad was stationed at Fort Knox, they’d get demos of video games that hadn’t come out yet to test I suppose? and I still have a few somewhere. He’d hand them off to me and I’d play them so there’s that.

59) Five weird things that you like:

Eating globs of wasabi for no reason.

Scaring my friends also for no reason.

I wouldn’t say using cotton swabs to get wax out of your ears because it feels good is weird, just more medically inadvisable if anything.

When I was younger I’d like to floss really hard because the slight pain from it felt good. Young me was a #Freaque KJHDFJJDHF

I don’t know if being fond of alphabetizing and reorganizing things is considered weird but I LOVE doing that.

63) A quote you try to live by:

“It matters not how strait the gate, / How charged with punishments the scroll; / I am the master of my fate: / I am the captain of my soul.” It’s from the poem “Invictus” and the last two lines are what I’m getting tattooed !!

65) Weird things you do when you’re alone:

Practice the “Lucky Star” dance. I GOT THE LYRICS DOWN… JUST NEED TO DO THE DANCE NOW…

69) Leave me a compliment:

“you seem rly nice and funny from your 🅱️osts and I appreciate u... I hope you can find better irl friends who aren't trash”

Anon pls 🥺 I do my best to be nice but my friend really do test me sometimes... my feelings bounce back n forth like if they do something my feelings can switch to angry or like, hate, and then if they do something nice I’ll like them again. It sucks but ! I just take it one day at a time. Anon I care for u 💜💜💜

#anonymous #asks #ask games #I love u anon 💜 thank u for letting me just Talk jdhsksjf #Anonymous

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searchesforself · 5 years ago

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Wednesday, March 14 2019.

The day that changed my life forever.

You’re probably wondering who is Mike? Well Mike was my boss. My manager. My leader. And this was the kind of respect that I received from him. I’ll never forget waking up that morning to this text message my stomach was turning with nausea, I was in pain from my surgery. And not to mention I was also in pain from the stitches that I had just had literally tweezed out of my stomach because of my allergic reaction to the stitches. I turned my phone off and turned it back on only to see the same message from the same person. This was real. This was really happening. I was about to become an official victim of sexual harassment in the workplace. My mind couldn’t figure it out because I was so focused on my health and getting back to normal after the surgery and now this.

Guilt & Humiliation.

Believe it or not this is what I felt. Maybe I had done something to prompt this message. Maybe I gave him the wrong signals. Maybe this was my fault. I don’t know what I did to make him feel that sending me something like this was OK but maybe I did something that I wasn’t aware of. I try to keep a very professional platonic relationship with everyone that I work with. Especially Mike. Just simply because he made me so uncomfortable all the time. And at this moment I realized those times he walked past me and brushed up against me, winked at me, made a nasty disturbing comment towards me, those weren’t thoughts that were just in my head my boss was actually hitting on me. there is nothing more uncomfortable than having to bring something like this to your mother. Your father. Your family and friends. But I had to tell someone. I couldn’t just walk back into work and pretend like this never happened.

Human Resources.

Human resources is the term that I use very lightly now. Human resources is supposed to help you in situations like this. They are supposed to support you. And be there as support. I’m sure you’ve heard of the #MeToMovement. And I’m very certain that Fifth Third Bank has heard of it. So there’s no other option other than them to support me. Because I can make this a really big story right? I reported it to human resources and maybe two days later got feedback that they would be meeting with Mike and that I should return to work as I normally would. I was terrified I asked if they were sure that there was no other location that I could go to. I was told plain and simple, “No.” I took that and went to work as I normally would paranoid out of my mind that Mike would show up. I got a call around lunchtime that day and I was told that he no longer worked for the company and that he resigned. I then asked once again is it possible for me to change locations. Once again I was told “No.”

My district manager came in and I thought maybe it was to address the situation and make sure that I was OK. She didn’t come in for any of those reasons and actually came in and took away my 40 hours and bumped me down to 20 hours a week. Was I being punished for reporting the sexual-harassment? Is this something that really happened? Why is everyone acting like nothing happened here? In that moment I decided I should probably get a lawyer and another job. But I kept quiet I followed the rules I stood two weeks after surgery for my eight hour shift after our new stand in manager had taken away all of the chairs. I thought that maybe my phone call from HR was the last I had heard of them, but I was wrong.

HR came in a month later and I knew they were there for me. I hadn’t done anything wrong, I balanced my drawer every single night. But I just knew they were there for me. So I got called into the back room and I don’t know if you know anything about HR, but when HR comes it’s not to congratulate you. It is to fire you. So I go in the back room and the only thing they could pull up was two customers that they said they called to verify that I disposition and their accounts, and apparently those customers said that they have never met me. Considering, that I was the only teller at that time, this was false. Who else would they have met? So I asked if they would like to take a ride up to the store around the corner with me so I can show them the new customer. Ha, of course they didn’t want that. I made copies of everything they had me sign and showed proof in my emails that I in fact, very much knew those customers. Considering I had the date and time I opened the accounts in my email. Fail on their part. I wasn’t the right one to mess with.

All I could think of was how I hope this never happens to my district manager’s daughter. I hope her daughter never feels as low as I felt and unsupported as I felt. But maybe that would be the only time she would understand what she did as a woman. Everything is a revolving door and I hope my face is imprinted in her memory forever.

I only had one witness in this case. I didn’t want to take everyone down with me. But I thought maybe something like that wouldn’t happen. So my one witness was actually called 30 minutes after HR came and met with me over the phone and fired. They fired her because she was a witness to my sexual harassment. This is the kind of company I was working for. Wow. So now I made someone lose their job because they supported me. To this day, I think about her everyday and want to continue apologizing even when she tells me not to. I brought her into my mess. I feel terrible. Who wouldn’t? I was told I would know the following Thursday if I had a job while they finished their “investigation”. What they were investigating, the world may never know.

Long story short, I have zero faith in Human Resources or corporate America. This situation is disgusting. And should have never escalated to this.

Job Hunt

During all of this I was on a job hunt. I had to find a new job. So I finally got an interview at another bank and waited patiently for two weeks to find out whether or not I had the job. Finally that Wednesday night, I got the car I had been waiting for. If you remember, I was probably going to be fired the next day which would be Thursday. I was offered a job and immediately excepted the offer. It was going to be full-time and I would be making two dollars more than I was making at Fifth Third Bank. Finally, I thought. I went to work the next day and I quit through an email. I worked my entire shift and the last hour I sent my email resigning and letting them know that I was resigning because of how I was treated after reporting sexual harassment. for some reason my stand in manager and District manager we’re both out of the office this day. I truly believe it was because they were planning on coming in and firing me but I beat him to the punch. So I was told they would be there in 30 minutes and I would do my exit interview. This was not an exit interview it was basically a give me your keys and leave situation. So I had already sold all of my money to the vault, and there was nothing left for them to count in my drawer. So there will be no way they could say that I still not even a dime. As I was told to handover my keys I said that I would not hand them over until I walked up and balanced my drawer with the manager standing next to me. I wish I could’ve been in her brain when she saw that there was no money in my drawer. Even though I knew there was no money in my drawer I wanted to make sure that it was on camera that I did not steal anything from this bank. I went home and I rested. Good riddance.

New Job

I started my new job. And I’m going to be upfront about it, I absolutely hated this job. But I had told myself people always hate their jobs that’s just a part of life. So suck it up, and work. On my last day of training I decided to tell the female manager that had trained me what I have been through and how thankful I was to have this job. The next thing I know and hour later I was being sent to HR, once again. I didn’t know what this could be for considering I had barely started this job. But I went into the office and I was told that I wasn’t a “fit” for their bank. I had passed my test that was needed to pass to be fully hired. But they only figured out a month and a half later that I wasn’t effect? I knew what had happened. I was being punished because I told my story. They didn’t want to have any liability with someone who they knew had a sexual harassment case against another bank. It was a blessing in disguise because I hated this job. But where was I going to get my money from now? At this point I had just given up on life. Clearly, nothing was going to work out for me.

Mental Health.

This is the most important part of the story in my opinion. My mental health was suffering so badly at this point all I could think of as far as solutions was to commit suicide. I went on day-to-day pretending like everything was ok knowing I was talking to suicide hotline’s in my room at night trying to find some sort of hope to not do this. I cried myself to sleep every night. There were two specific people who probably has no idea who they are to this day, who both said to me the same day on the phone “you sound really sad” and that was when I realized it was showing. I couldn’t hide it. So I swallowed my pride and I decided to get help. I went to my doctor and let her know that I needed some help. I told her my situation and I could barely get through the appointment without hysterically crying. Everything happened so fast but all I know is she was asking me a bunch of questions and the next thing I know I was in an emergency room and I was being sent to a mental hospital. This was it for me as soon as I got out of this hospital I was just going to do it. If this is the way my life was going to be because I reported sexual-harassment then I was certainly going to end it. I cried myself to sleep that night in the hospital trying to keep as quiet as I could because the girl next to me was probably going to wake up by the sound of my sobs. I have never felt so alone. I was so angry at my doctor for doing this to me. I regret it even going to get help. I should’ve just done it is what I told myself.

The next morning I finally met with the doctor. I told him my situation which was hard because I felt like I just kept having to tell people the same story over and over again and it was getting me nowhere and I was having to relive what this man has done to me over and over again. But he was so understanding. He told me what I was dealing with was actually PTSD. And it was completely normal in my kind of situation. He put me on the right medication to help me get through it, after all that was the whole point of me going to the doctor lol. I was so embarrassed when I got home. Now everyone knew my deepest secret. Everyone knew that I was going to commit suicide. How humiliating. But I cried for a few days and I got myself back together.

Lawyer

I know some of you are probably wondering did she get a lawyer? To answer that question yes I did. Long story short my lawyer failed me too. I found out a year after the case that his paralegal had never filed my charges. And if you’re not familiar you have to report these things within 365 days from the incident. So I have no case. These women and men got away with what they did to me. Which is why I am here to talk about it today. I want to make sure that other people know what this bank is capable of doing to other women. My lawyer really failed me and it was never about the money. It was always about what they’ve done being made now. But with social media nowadays I can still get my story out.

Me Too

I never thought I’d be a part of this me to movement. But throughout the time I worked with this man my mother told me “if he keeps it up you are going to be a part of the me to movement.” I doubted her, and here we are.

I’m not sharing my story for anyone to feel sorry for me. I’m not sharing my story to make myself seem like I’m better than anyone else. I’m sharing my story because I know this happens to women every single day and they don’t talk about it because of the things that have happened to me. What if I took my life? I wouldn’t be here to be able to be a voice for the women who feel like they can’t speak up about things like this. I feel that everything happens for a reason and I wasn’t able to commit suicide because this is what I was supposed to do. I was supposed to share this story with other women. I am here for any woman struggling with this at any time or day. I didn’t have that. And I know there are so many women who have went through worse and haven’t shared their story. But let’s talk about it. Let’s not let these men think they can get away with this.

Silence= Acceptance.

#metoo

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gncrevan · 6 years ago

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being disabled is expensive

i live in a country with relatively good healthcare, so my medicine is mostly covered, but i still have a lot of semi-regular expenses that healthy people don't, so i thought i'd make a list for those of you who don't realize how expensive being sick & disabled is

medication that is over the counter or classified as food supplements - in my case this applies to vitamin c (a natural mast cell stabilizer), keltican (vitamin b12 and trace minerals, used to treat neuralgia and neuropathy, also b12 helps against muscle pains and is often low when you take montelukast as i do), salt tablets (to treat dysautonomia), electrolytes (when i have a long bout of not being able to eat, vomiting and/or diarrhea), laxatives (the other week my bowel stopped doing what it's supposed to), nasal spray & anything else that opens the sinuses (i have chronic rhinitis and sinusitis), paracetamol (i can take like two painkillers in addition to my arcoxia and i don't always wanna take novalgin cause i build up a tolerance very quickly), anti-allergic eye drops, topical pain-relievers, fenistil gel

dietary restrictions - this can be cheap when you just, uh, can't eat anything, but more often than not it means having to buy very specific items that are more expensive, such as gluten-free or lactose-free products; you also often go through more food just because some will make you sick so you have to throw it away etc.

medical-grade and hypoallergenic cosmetics - by this i mean body lotion, face cream, cleanser, hand and foot lotion, deodorant etc. that can handle my rashes, dry and itchy skin, allergies

joint braces, medical tape - it is technically possible to get braces on prescription, but in my experience doctors don't prescribe them for pain unless there is visible joint damage, and even then you usually have to pay a part of the cost; kt tape and the like is always over the counter

electronic devices - heating pads, TENS units, infrared lamps, air humidifiers and dehumidifiers, blood pressure and pulse meters, these largely aren't covered by insurance, sometimes they are covered in part or you can "borrow" them but that process usually takes quite a while and is only applicable on a case by case basis

mobility aids - technically you can get a partial coverage from your insurance but the process is long and hard and they will often deny it, even if you're paraplegic or whatever they don't wanna pay for your wheelchair, and if you have a systemic illness it's nigh impossible to get any coverage

osteopathy, massage - these can be vital for chronic pain treatment in my experience, but they're not covered by insurance or if they are, it's only for like six sessions a year; physical therapy is but because doctors have a tight budget on that you might not be able to get it as often as necessary; specifically all these treatment options are only available for short-term problems through insurance, they are not covered for chronic and systemic illnesses

transportation - i can't walk distances that are easy for others and i can't ride a bike or drive a car, so i am reliant on public transportation and taxis in a way that healthy people aren't; i will also need regular rides to doctor's appointments and therapy, you can apply to get those covered but you'll usually get denied

household help - i personally keep toying with the idea of employing somebody to help clean the flat cause i'm just unable to and my boyfriend is overwhelmed with the task due to his autism, but yeah we are not eligible for a help paid for by insurance cause they make it extremely hard and basically if you can move at all ever then you're not getting help, so we would have to pay out of pocket

breathing protection - protective face masks against allergens, toxins and pathogens are almost universally not covered by insurance

chaperones - the risk of fainting and anaphylactic shock are not enough for the state to grant me right to a chaperone, so if i go somewhere and nobody i know wants to or can afford to come, i need to pay travel expenses and/or admission for someone else to accompany me, or go alone and risk having to deal with my health problems on my own (this can be life-threatening!)

i'm sure i forgot something so feel free to add your own.

#chronic illness #disability #ableism #educational #opinion piece

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tinypigeonlord · 6 years ago

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Was reading about how American school systems are ridiculous and will expell you for the dumbest most unreasonable shit and that’s just how America is. But tbh it’s not just American schools which are like this? Throughout my time on a highschool in the Netherlands, I have experienced plenty of dumb shit and I have a mighty need to rant. SO! To name just a few examples:

• I once injured my right hand during school volleyball, which is my dominant hand. It was badly swollen, bruised and taped in, so I had to write with left. My handwriting was barely readable at the time, and soon enough I was approached by my teacher, who was pissed. He accused me of bullying and mocking him specifically, because he was a left-handed kid in school and had been forced to write with his right hand because at the time writing left handed was ‘wrong’, leading to a lot of bullying for him. I didn’t even know this, and had to show him my messed up hand to prevent getting expelled.

• I dealt with a lot of bullies in school, and teachers did jack shit to stop them because I had no evidence, and ‘if two people have issues, then both did something to cause it’. So basically I was accused of provoking the bullying somehow. To deal with the frustration, one day I made a crude doodle of a chimpanzee, drew an arrow to it and wrote the name of one of my bullies next to it. Said bully went through my bag at some point, stole my notebook from me and showed the teacher that doodle. I was forced to apologize to the bully and shake his hand, otherwise they had no choice but to expel me. The bully did not face any consequences for going through my belongings and stealing my stuff. Nor did he have to apologize for provoking me into drawing that doodle.

• One day my teacher caught me doodling something in a corner of my workbook while she was explaining things I already understood, and so she confiscated the workbook to make me listen. Next it was time to do homework assignments. I asked the teacher how I was supposed to do this, since she took my workbook. She kicked me out of the class for sassing her and I got detention.

• I was also kicked out of class once for being unable to find my books in time. This was at the beginning of a new year and I didn’t have a locker yet. We had 9 different subjects that day so my bag was filled to the brim with big books, and it took me a bit to find the correct book. The teacher assumed I had just forgotten the book and we have this rule here that if you forget your stuff, you get thrown out of the class. I did find the book and showed her that I had it, but by that time I was too late and had already ‘disrupted class’, which was another reason to kick me out and write me up for detention.

• One time when I was on my period, I asked to use the bathroom when class had only just started. The teacher told me to wait until class ended, and I really couldn’t wait that long, so in my frustration I said to him in a hushed voice: “Sir, I will paint this chair red with my blood if you don’t let me go...” I could go after that, but I was also told I shouldn’t come back in class and just stay out then. + Detention.

• This didn’t happen to me, but one of my teachers haaaaated one of my classmates because she argued against his opinions a lot. So he would kick her out of the class for the most unreasonable things. He caught her looking outside the window for a moment, for example, and told her that if she was not interested in his teachings she should just leave the room. When she told him he was being unreasonable and that she had been listening, he did kick her out. Another time, she opened her mouth to yawn, and the teacher immediately yelled at her to not fucking dare to argue against him again. She stood up for herself and said she only had to yawn, so he yelled at her for disrupting class.

This same teacher even kicked out our entire class once. We all got fed up with him shitting on this one classmate for BS reasons, so we opened our mouths against him as well. Everyone, even those who just glared at the teacher without saying anything, got thrown out of class and written up for detention.

• I had to write a formal apology to a teacher once. Basically, I had been sick for a while and forced to stay home, and immediately on the day I returned to school, I had to do a math test without having had the chance to prepare. I explained the situation to the teacher, who literally told me in my face: Tough luck, shouldn’t have skipped school, I’m not making exceptions for you. I replied: “we’re not done with this yet.” and he perceived it as a threat, and told the entire class what I had said to him, hoping that the class would chastise me for saying such a horrible thing. Instead the class clapped and cheered for me, and as a result I not only had to write that apology letter to him, but I also got thrown out of class for being a disruption.

This same teacher once gave me a 5.9 for a presentation. You have to realize our grades range from 1 to 10, with 6 being kinda like a C. It’s the minimum required for a passing grade. Meaning he JUST failed me. The class argued against his decision and asked him why he didn’t just give me a 6, since I didn’t really give a bad presentation, it was just a very simple/basic one. It had no real faults or wrong things in it. He said he gave me a 5.9 ‘just because he felt like it’.

• I almost got expelled once for presumably having gotten into a fight. Holy shit, Pigeon Lord getting into a fight??? Yeah no, the only fighting I did was with a skeeter. I am allergic to mosquito bites and my legs were completely covered in bruises from a particularly aggressive skeeter. My classmates had seen the bruises and reported me to our mentor. They wouldn’t believe such bruises came from a flippin insect and I needed my mom to confirm that yeah my body does NOT like mosquito saliva.

• I got in trouble for being too thin basically. People complained when I wore tight and form-fitted clothes because I looked anorexic and it made them uncomfortable. When I wore loose clothes, people complained that I looked sloppy and like a hobo and that I needed to look presentable in a school setting. I couldn’t win, and was told to not show up at school until I could dress properly.

• Same with my face. I had a teacher complain to me that I always looked tired and sick because of my dark circles and acne. ( I actually was tired and sick 90% of the time tbh) and that I needed to fix that because she hated the looks I gave her.

• Speaking of being sick! My mentor wanted to fail me for the year and make me redo it, because she thought I was fake. Like, she accused me of faking everything to gain sympathy and told me that if it was up to her, I wouldn’t pass the year, even though I scored passing grades for all my classes. She couldn’t get it done, but she made the rest of my classes she taught VERY miserable. :’D

• Meanwhile my sister was her mentor’s black sheep, and her mentor did fail my sis and made her redo the year. Not even because my sister was sick a lot, but because her mentor despised my sister’s ‘attitude’ towards her. She thankfully didn’t get away with it: my sister’s new mentor that next year overruled her old mentor along with her other teachers, and she passed after all, but not after a serious fight that lasted for 3 months.

• I in the meantime was locked out of my final exams. I had been sick during an oral test date, and the school had claimed that I didn’t call in sick for the day. Nor had I shown any initiative to apologize for not being there when I was expected. (I didn’t get a chance. The splitsecond I arrived at school after being sick, I was called into the office and yelled at with no chance to defend myself) Therefore I was not allowed a re-do, and therefore I couldn’t do my final exams, because I didn’t complete all my tests. This actually went against the law; the school can’t deny me a re-do based these things. Mom requested the data from our phone company regardless, and had evidence that I did make a phonecall to the school on the date I was sick and missed the test, and that whoever had taken the phonecalls that day was lying. But the school still would not accept it. We had to hire a lawyer who threatened to take them to court for lying because of a personal vendetta against me, not to mention disregarding the law, before they let me re-do the test and my exams.

• The school actually threatened to call the police on my sister. She presumably had written on social media that she wanted someone to burn the school down, and she’d be eternally grateful for that. The school claimed they had screenshotted the post and wanted my mom and sis to immediately make a formal apology to them. Now here’s the kicker: When my mom asked to see the screenshot, it wasn’t even a screenshot of the website. It looked like someone had literally just opened a Word document and typed my sister’s first name + that sentence of her requesting the school to be burnt down. The school then claimed that the teacher who had spotted her post had lost the screenshot, but they had no reason to not trust a teacher. Mom shut them down by telling them: “My daughter’s social media account is set to private and it’s only visible to peers in her friendlist. She doesn’t even use her real name on this website. Meaning that your teacher has either been pretending to be one of her peers to gain access to her account, or they faked this entire message. Either way, I myself will press charges if you don’t get off her case immediately.” The school then claimed that they didn’t mean to cause any misunderstandings, and they didnt mean to threaten my mom and sis, they weren’t actually gonna call the police. HAH.

There are MANY more things that happened, but these events stuck with me and I’m still bitter 7 years later. So yeah I felt the need to tell the interwebs I guess.

#shutup pigeon lord #long long post so I Read More'd it #negativity and bitterness

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some-rfa-imagines · 7 years ago

Text

A Big List Of Prompts

i thought ‘why not?’ and made one of these for myself. I wandered around the internet for a while and shoved together a bunch of prompts I thought were interesting. Pick a character and a number (pls specify) and I’ll write you a thing!

Most of these are not mine!!!

hhhhh lets hope i know what i’m doing

Dialogue:

“I don’t think this is the biggest mistake you’ve made. It’s probably like… third worst.”

“Shouting at each other across the room doesn’t count as having a proper conversation about your feelings you know. Wouldn’t you rather all of this be private, anyway?”

“No pressure, honest. It’s not like the world is depending on you or anything.”

“But if they think we’re a couple, we'll get the couples discount!”

“Are you always this prone to bad luck and violence? If so, that’s kind of sad.”

“Can I just whoop your ass… like… right now?”

“Rules? Nope, not listening. I’m not following them. Never have, never will.”

“Did operation steal the cat and return the nuclear codes get completed yet?"

“I call it 'the plan that will save the world and also remove minions for good'."

“what the hell are you doing with (other character)'s dog locked in your garden?!"

“Yeah!, heh, I just uh remembered that, uhm- I have- uh.. I have a few places to see and uh *ahem*, people to go- I mEAN- uhm, yeah,,, I-I’ll- I’ll be right back— oh! Uh, completely unrelated to that, uh, ngh, wheres the nearest cliff?”

“Shut up [name], just because you have the grace and social skills of a drunken ferret, does not mean I must.”

“You’re so convinced that I’ll hurt them that you haven’t considered it’s the last thing I’d ever want to do.”

“What have I told you about listening to your gut more? It’s smart. Do it.”

“Pal, I don’t know where you got the idea that I’m a good person, but if you want to keep it. Leave now.”

“I can be sweet. Sometimes. To certain people. It happens!”

“Stop laughing!”

“Call me [blank] - not that that's my name.”

“So I suppose you want to ask me how I pulled it off.”

“Didn’t you know darling? The key to getting away with a crime is making people think you are peaceful.”

"I hope that what I've said hasn't hurt you too much."

"Move away from the door and let me at him."

"You embarrassed me this evening."

"I want to turn back the clock to before..."

"Try focusing more on your life and less on mine!"

"There's something I need to get off my chest."

"I did a pregnancy test."

"If you get me his phone, I might reconsider."

"I knew you wouldn't be able to see it through."

"You were meant to be watching him!"

"How dare you look down your nose at me like that."

“It’s not my fault you’re short.”

“Tell me right now or I swear on my life you’ll regret everything.”

“You’re back!”

“I missed you.”

“I did my best, okay?!”

“Kiss me right this second.”

“Just do it!”

“I believe you’ll come back to us. I just know it.”

“You’re not a bad person… You… You wouldn’t…”

“I can’t trust you… Not anymore.”

“Don’t leave me!”

“You promised we were in this together…”

“Wait a minute, are you flirting with me?”

“You’re even more stunning.”

“As many as the stars in the sky.”

“CAN YOU EVEN READ?!”

“You’re actually the most insufferable person I’ve ever had the pleasure meeting.”

“I risked everything for you.”

“I… I love you, okay?”

“Who the hell are you and why is my favourite book in a puddle of orange juice.”

“This is a lot harder than it looks and I don’t think you realise that.”

“That’s the lamest pickup line I’ve ever heard of.” “Damn. Well, it was just plan A.” “And what’s plan B…?” “To take you hostage.”

“What the fuck did they do to you in that lab?”

“Ehhh, needles, comas, that deep freeze thing in the first room, shoving these onto my back. Oh also they forced me to eat soggy bread.”

“Love, you underestimate how much food I can shove in my mouth before I need to be stopped.”

“Okay so why did you have to smash that vase again” “I DIDN’T MEAN TO, IT GOT IN THE WAY”

“Welcome to my treasure trove.” “There’s a sword.” “Yeah.” “wHY DO YOU HAVE A SWORD.” “...” “caaaaaan i touch it?”

“Love, I’ve done this before. Every hundred years. For seventeen millenniums.”

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO (NAME)?!”

“Are… Who are these people? They- They look like me…”

“So, what do you want for dinner?” “I’m thinking Italian. Like, Italian.” “BABE.”

“Oooh, look at the detail on that mirror.”

“Okay now you’re just messing with me and you need to stop.”

“Okay, I know I’m idiotic to get lost in a corn maze but who the fuck are you and why are you apparently as idiotic as I am.”

“I was on my way to buy that soul for Satan, who do you think you are. You can’t do that.”

“I’m sure you know who I am.”

“Huh…? Oh, fuck.”

“I swear to god, my little sister will kill me when I get home.”

“Bit rude to swear to God right now, don’t you think?”

“Fuck. I’m going to die. Damn.”

“YOU DEFINITELY WILL IF YOU DRINK THAT.”

“You know you can’t bring (them), Your Highness, (they’ll) be used against you.”

“Don’t hold me responsible, I wasn’t even there.” “Yeah, but you gave me the idea.”

“You know what, fuck you.”

“The fuck did you say they put on my gravestone?!”

“Honey, I don’t care if you’re the fucking queen or an uncooperative cat, get off your ass and live your life you trash bag.”

“Hey, calm down, please, oh god okay, calm aura, calm aura, please stop freaking out, calm down, it’s okay, you can do this.”

“So that’s it? We’re done?”

“Please, just… hold me. Just for a moment.”

“I think I’m just gonna sleep outside and let the snow bury me until I die.”

“So… what are we?”

“Don’t you dare take another step out that door!”

“This better be good.”

“That… was the worst excuse I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“I’m saying you don’t have a rulebook.”

“These kinds of things don’t just come with an instruction manual, [name]!”

“Why, that’s absurd!”

“I would never.”

“It makes me so uncomfortable when people ask me, ‘Where do you see yourself in 'x’ years?’ Like… I see myself cold in the ground, my guy, but that’s not the answer you want to hear so this is an awkward predicament we’re in, huh.”

“Listen up fucker.”

“Let me tell you all the reasons why I won’t do that.”

“HAVE YOU HEARD OF A TURN SIGNAL EVER IN YOUR LIFE”

“I am already the family disappointment, what more do you want from me”

“Do you?”

“Get. Out.”

“If people are watching, we might as well make this entertaining!”

“I’ve absolutely never seen you in my entire life so if you’ll just excuse me now, have a good day!”

“Okay, stop going to sleep at 4am, it makes you philosophical and sentimental and that’s weird.”

“Make me.”

Setting:

The night sky lit up for a second and what followed sounded a lot like the end of the world.

It's not always the case of 'these guys are foolish to only send one guy' sometimes it's 'we should be terrified they only sent one guy.’

Dear reader, I wish I could tell you that you're going to like this story.

Without meaning to, they’d arranged two dates for the same evening.

Everything about [name] was a lie.

They'd only been apart for a week and already he had a new lover hanging off his arm.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

You guys were taking forever and I was hungry so I baked cookies who wants some?

First Lines:

[Character] had enjoyed ten years of being totally irresponsible.

The pencil had NOT been worth stealing.

[Character] wasn't happy about it, but [pronoun]’d been recalled to life for one reason or another.

If [Character] could change one thing, it would be carrying that gun.

It was enchanting. Either that or [name] was incredibly wasted.

AUs: (many from this blog! Complete credit to them)

Masquerade Ball AU: Person A and Person B can’t recognise each other

Frustrated Customer and Tired Employee AU

Hitman AU: Person A and Person B are hired to take each other out

Assassin AU: After watching B for so long, A has begun to fall for them

Pirate/Mermaid AU

Coffee Shop AU: Why’d you have to smile at me like that, I couldn’t even concentrate on your order oh god I’m blushing why am I so fLUSTERED

Overthrown Royalty AU: Okay so I love you and all, but why the fuck did you have to start a war they’re going to kill you - you’re a dead (queen/king) walking and I hope you know that.

Blood dripped down B’s chin. A knew B was a vampire. A knew they needed blood. But it was a little offensive when B drank from others!Vampire AU

my little sister really looks up to you because she’s going through that phase so she’ll probably kill me again when i get home!Idol AU

Fantasy AU: A is suspicious of the legends. You know, those legends. Everyone knew about them. The ones about the dragons in the hills.

Spy AU: “Fuck, why did you have to be the one to join me on this mission you do realise that it’s dangerous and they don’t care whether we die or not.”

I know my cupcakes are better than your blueberry muffins and that’s what matters and wait holy shit these are actually pretty good!Baking AU

Medieval AU

(Alt) Modern AU

We were both stood up by our dates at this fancy restaurant and they have an ‘at least two to a table’ policy so you need to have dinner with me AU

I know shit all about music theory but I’ve already written and composed hit songs while you’ve been taking lessons for years and struggle with melody please don’t kill me!Musician AU

I answered your weirdly specific craigslist roommate ad as a joke and now we’re living together!Roommates AU

You’re really short and cute and you buy a cup of black coffee every morning but you make weird faces as you sip it and you never finish your drink are you trying to look mature or something!coffee shop AU

reincarnation AU: person A meets their favourite band/singer and realises they were friends in a past life

Hello I’m your boss and you’re the new employee who just saw me shove an entire cupcake into my mouth!Office AU

We’re neighbours and you work at a flower shop and your place is always filled with flowers. I’m too self-conscious to say anything, but I’m allergic af and I look like I’ve been crying every time we meet. Now you probably think I’m in an abusive relationship or something omg

I don’t really know you but we’ve shared a bus stop for years and I just got my first car and I hope this isn’t weird but what I’m trying to say is do you want to carpool with me from now on? Like, to save the environment, I mean.

I can’t give you what you want, why didn’t I leave before we go too emotionally involved AU

I came up to the roof of our apartment building at 2 AM to see this asteroid go by and just as I stepped out you came running at me screaming so naturally I froze and you’re screaming at me so loud I can’t understand what you’re - oh the door locks behind you. Well now we’re both locked out here gdi

someone in the dorms makes amazing cookies and you’re trying to figure it out and walk in on me baking at four in the morning!College AU

I found you duct-taped to a telephone pole thirty feet off the ground

Just to be polite, I held the door open for you but now we’re both insisting that the other go first and we’re seriously about to get into an argument about it and cAN YOU JUST WALK THROUGH THE DOOR P L E A S E

I’m in this museum for a school project, but you are apparently here for fun and good lord you are good looking, so I’m totally going to pretend I know anything at all about the life and works of this random artist…Rembrandt, you say?

IKEA AU: I’m a cashier and when you looked for your wallet about a hundred of our pencils dropped out of your pocket, that’s actually pretty impressive where did you even hide them?

I was rehearsing lines for the romantic lead and I didn’t see you through that window, I had no idea that YOU were playing my romantic interest and now I can’t remember a single line

I tried my hand at this thing called cooking but I ended up making enough to feed a small army. You’re my next door neighbour, so like, are you hungry? You can bring the beer

Soulmates:

Looking around, A tried to spot their best friend when they saw it. Their own handwriting, on someone else’s arm.

A sees B in their mirror every night. They’ve never met in real life.

You can see colours but realise that recently, with each passing day, your world of colours is becoming a little duller and you’re panicking because you don’t know what’s going on, or what it means, or if your soulmate is okay.

We’re having our first argument as a married couple: do we explore this island, or do we stay in bed all day

I can’t give you what you want, why didn’t I leave before we go too emotionally involved AU

You’re not sure if the other half of your tattoo should end with this person’s words, or that one’s—wait, I think it might end with the phrase of that other person too. It’s just a very open-ended sentence…

You’re an Angel and I’m a Demon and we met while hiding in human form and I love you

Author:

Write an apology letter to the character you hurt the most.

Complete the sentence for [character]: “I think the most important thing in the world is…”

You see someone being hit in the street. What superpower would you like to have in this situation?

Write a scenario where you meet your characters.

Would your characters like you? As a person or as an author?

Have a philosophical conversation with your characters.

I would love if you added your own prompts to this! I’ll probably go back and add more later. in the meantime, i’ll go hunt down all the necessary credits! byee~

#hhhhhhhhhh this took foreeveverrrrrr #bUT IM DONE #i will go back and try and find all of the necessary credits #im v v v sorry if i miss some though #damn i didn't write them all down #that was a dumb mistake #anyway #go nuts pls #and feel free to reblog #<3 #puffle talks #not writing #writing prompts #prompts #au

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av-ryan · 4 years ago

Text

TEXTS; AV & RONAN

JULY

Ronan Ryan

How do you feel about arcade games and singing animatronic birds?

AV Ryan

Sounds like heaven, why?

Ronan Ryan

There's a couple places here I want to check out. Somewhere called Tropicz, and then a Mr. Cheezies?

AV Ryan

Sounds sublime, I'm in. I'm not gonna lie tho, Mr. Cheezies sounds like a broke Chuck E Cheese.

Ronan Ryan

That's exactly what it is actually

I'm not sure there's anywhere else with an arcade here though

AV Ryan

Hey, I'm not complaining, can't be be worse than the actual Chuck E Cheese we used to go to back home

Ronan Ryan

Exactly!

I'm excited to see how many games I can destroy you at

AV Ryan

I guess there's only one way to find out

Ronan Ryan

I guess so. You busy tomorrow yet?

AV Ryan

You ask that like I have a life.

I'm not busy and we should definitely hang.

Ronan Ryan

Just making sure. Let's go tomorrow then! Maybe hit up a bar while we're out?

AV Ryan

You sure you’ll survive someone else making our drinks?

Ronan Ryan

It's for a job application

AV Ryan

Well you can apply, I’m going to drink.

Ronan Ryan

Sounds good! You need a DD anyway

What do you think of the place so far?

AV Ryan

I mean I’m not allergic to walking, The beds are nice? And the campus isn’t bad? What about you?

Ronan Ryan

If you want to walk, we can walk

that's fine. It's okay. It's weird being out of Texas but I'm surviving.

AV Ryan

Yeah let’s walk, it’s nice outside. I don’t you just love summer? We need to get you past surviving and into thriving ASAP.

Ronan Ryan

Cool, walking it is then. Summer's alright, I'm excited for it to cool down though. The beach is so fucking nice though. There's a stretch of it on campus.

I'll get there, AV. But thanks for caring.

AV Ryan

I haven't been yet, but I'll take your word for it.

Well we look out for each other right?

Ronan Ryan

Always.

AV Ryan

See you later for dinner. Don't forget my cigarettes.

Ronan Ryan

[ loved this ]

Ronan Ryan

I'm gonna need you to come remove the gum from my bed frame.

AV Ryan

I didn't fucking do it.

Ronan Ryan

I'm not blaming you for Simon's actions but he was in my room last night because you triggered him out AV.

AV Ryan

That's fair. Fuck. It's been sitting there all night?

Ronan Ryan

It has.

it's gross

AV Ryan

I guess I'll come now to take it off. And raid your pantry since I know you went shopping yesterday

Ronan Ryan

Fine but don't touch my soda bread.

Let me get my roommate to open the door, I'm not in right now.

I really should just give you a key.

AV Ryan

Fine I won't take all of your soda bread. Okay, cool. But yeah, you really should just give me one.

Ronan Ryan

We'll see

excited for later?

AV Ryan

What's later?

Ronan Ryan

Ouchhh.

I'll direct your attention to the top of the thread.

AV Ryan

I know, I'm just fucking with you. Hell yeah I'm excited!

Ronan Ryan

I know

Me too. I wonder if they'll let us on stage with the birds.

AV Ryan

I'd love to see them try and stop us.

Ronan Ryan

Let's do it

AV Ryan

Fuck yeah. So how was Sloan & Co last night, did I fuck up?

Ronan Ryan

Sloan & Co

Uh, it was fine. I think. Aside from the gum. Simon insisted on sleeping on the floor but when Sloan fronted they actually got in bed.

AV Ryan

I should copyright that shit.

Okay cool. Sierra cussed me out this morning first thing

Ronan Ryan

Fuck

I'm glad I slept through that. She made me coffee

AV Ryan

As long as Sloan's not actually mad at me, I think I'm good.

Ronan Ryan

I think you're good, don't worry about it.

You just wanted everyone together.

AV Ryan

See? I knew you fucking got it.

Ronan Ryan

I did, yeah. From now on we'll just keep family activities to things everyone wants to do, to avoid a repeat.

AV Ryan

That's cool with me. I was not feeling the strip club anyway. In retrospect - fuck them strippers.

Ronan Ryan

Lmao. Still pissed about the alien conversation?

AV Ryan

It might still be a touchy subject but I’m 83% over it

Ronan Ryan

Aliens 10000% exist.

There's no way they don't.

AV Ryan

I just wanted to talk, I don’t care if they agree or not. But like I said I’m over it. 91% now

Ronan Ryan

That's fair. Cool you're over it though. It was fun debating it

AV Ryan

I’ll be at 100% by the time we go out later.

Ronan Ryan

Cool, sounds good. Thanks for getting the gum off for me.

AV Ryan

Yeah no problem.

Ronan Ryan

Did you know there are people that actually want to be benchpressed?

AV Ryan

Is this a trick question?

Ronan Ryan

No, I didn't know that was a thing

AV Ryan

People especially love it when it's from a person in uniform

Ronan Ryan

Oh, okay. That's strange. Anyway, ready to head out?

AV Ryan

Why does someone want you to benchpress them?

Yep. I'm ready.

Ronan Ryan

I don't think they want me to do it specifically.

They just mentioned asking someone before and getting turned down

AV Ryan

Well mentioning it randomly is kind of weird.

Ronan Ryan

Feeling okay today, AV?

AV Ryan

I’m amazing today. You?

Ronan Ryan

I'm great

had a little bit of a headache earlier but the gym and some painkillers helped that.

AV Ryan

Last night was super chill Roe

Ronan Ryan

It was a nice time! I enjoyed it.

We should do it again

AV Ryan

Mr. Cheezies? Not so much, Tropicz hell yea! Those birds are my jam!

Ronan Ryan

Not a fan?

The birds were so cool. It's so stupid they don't let you on stage. I wanted a picture

AV Ryan

Next time we jump on stage we need to take a picture right quick, before they’re able to tell us to get down

Yeah I’m good on the Cheezies

Ronan Ryan

Absolutely. We'll do that next time.

I'm hoping the Flag is somewhere I'll be comfortable working though, and with better quality top shelf

AV Ryan

Fuck yeah. We’ll find out tonight, right?

Ronan Ryan

Yes! I'm excited

I'll sneak you free drinks and everything.

AV Ryan

You ain’t gonna get any complaints from me

Ronan Ryan

I know

all the more reason to come by right?

AV Ryan

If my codependence wasn’t enough? Yessir!

Ronan Ryan

That's fair

AV Ryan

It’s just been so long since I’ve been around everyone. I didn’t realize how much I miss you guys.

Ronan Ryan

I missed you too, and I know the others did too. If you need to talk or anything I'm h We're all together again now though, and that's what matters.

AV Ryan

That's all that matters.

Ronan Ryan

Hey, AV. How are you?

AV Ryan

(shrug emoji) you?

Ronan Ryan

Shoulder hurts a little but otherwise I'm good

AV Ryan

Sunburnt?

Ronan Ryan

Yes

Which is beyond me.

AV Ryan

Oh come on, you knew that was gonna happen.

Ronan Ryan

I thought two layers would be enough

I'll just wear a shirt next time

AV Ryan

Or stay in the shade

Ronan Ryan

I'd rather get a sunburn

The beach is meant for swimming

AV Ryan

You’re just a glutton for punishment are you?

Ronan Ryan

I guess you could say that

AV Ryan

Especially doing this perfect match thing. Though I’m not gonna lie, I was going to do it but forgot

Ronan Ryan

Listen, I ran five miles this morning

I'm so nervous

You should have done it

AV Ryan

Well you literally get to him pick your partner right? At least there is not gonna be any surprises right?

I bet the run was gorgeous as fuck though

Ronan Ryan

It's more rejecting and/or being rejected

It was, it was right at sunrise

AV Ryan

Oh that’s easy, if someone rejects you I’ll just kick their ass. And if someone gives you grief for rejecting them, I’ll just kick their ass. It’s as simple as that.

Ronan Ryan

Thanks, AV. I'd kick someone's ass for you too.

AV Ryan

Oh I fucking know you would. It’s a good thing I taught you how to fight

Ronan Ryan

It is. Easily one of my favorite memories.

AV Ryan

You've got a mean right hook

Ronan Ryan

We should get together in a boxing ring together sometime

AV Ryan

I've been off my game, but I can still kick your ass

Ronan Ryan

I've been on my game, and I'm very sure you can't.

AV Ryan

We could always make it interesting

Ronan Ryan

What are you proposing?

AV Ryan

A bet for the winner of a boxing match

Ronan Ryan

Alright, I'm in. What's the bet?

AV Ryan

Winner gets to choose the other's phone lockscreen for a month

Ronan Ryan

Deal! I'll go ahead and start looking.

When do you want to do this?

AV Ryan

I don't have shit to do so whenever

Ronan Ryan

Let's do it today, before that barbecue thing. We can use the ice water for any bruises.

AV Ryan

I heard there's a whole ass boxing ring somewhere on campus, let's do it there

Ronan Ryan

There is, it's in the gym.

You're on.

AV Ryan

Fantastic

Ronan Ryan

[ backdated ] Hey, AV! Is it cool if I give Miriam your number? She wants it.

AV Ryan

Your roommate? Yeah, I don't care

Ronan Ryan

Yup. Cool.

Ronan Ryan | 🔵

Sea Kayaking is scary

the entire time I was doing it, I kept planning an escape in case it turned over.

But anyway, how was your day?

AV Ryan

But it was also a good time? Productive. But now I’m tired but at least I took care of my VA things and hopefully my benefits start rolling in again, then I won’t have to keep asking you for money. How was your day?

Ronan Ryan | 🔵

Yeah! It was a lot of fun.

I give you a hard time, but I don't mind AV.

I stocked up on cool ranch doritos too, so help yourself.

It was good. One of those match things hit me up.

AV Ryan

You had me at cool ranch Doritos, thanks Roe Yeah? How’d it go?

Ronan Ryan | 🔵

You're welcome. How do you feel about the school so far?

It went okay. He seems nice.

AV Ryan

I don’t think my opinion has really changed since we first got here like the rooms are fine and the food is fine. I guess we’ll see how classes go once they start… you?

Ronan Ryan | 🔵

No worries. I just wanted to make sure you're good. Mine's still the same too.

AV Ryan

I’m supposed to be having dinner with someone later this week. She’s someone I knew in Hawaii. Think you can help me make something?

Ronan Ryan | 🔵

Yeah, of course. Always. Does she have any allergies? Or is there something you had in mind to make?

AV Ryan

To be honest I don’t know and I kind of don’t want to ask? Let’s just like go with the safe options no seafood, no nuts, yada yada yada

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Alright

I got you. When do you need it by?

AV Ryan

Tomorrow, I think.

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

No problem

AV Ryan

Thanks, Roe

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

[ loved this ]

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Do you want to come over for a movie later? Just us?

AV Ryan

Sure, what movie?

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Um, maybe a comedy? Step Brothers?

AV Ryan

Yeah alright. You good?

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

I'm doing great. Are you?

AV Ryan

Not great, but fine

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Do you need to talk? We can skip the movie? I'm here for you, AV. We all are.

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

croc poptarts.jpg

I wonder if these actually exist

AV Ryan

The flavor looks awful

Ronan Ryan | 🔴It does

good thing it's fake!

Along with a lot of other grosser flavors.

AV Ryan

It's funny as hell though

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

It is. There was another one called Swamp with Shrek on it.

AV Ryan

I fucking love Shrek

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

I haven't seen Shrek in forever

AV Ryan

We should watch that next time.

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

We should, definitely! Which movie is your favorite?

AV Ryan

Besides Love Actually? Probably Speed. That’s a classic

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

No like, which Shrek movie?

AV Ryan

Oh. The first one, definitely

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Good to know about Speed though. I haven't seen it, so maybe that's something else we could watch too.

AV Ryan

Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves before their careers really took off. It’s amazing.

AUGUST

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Hey, AV. Want to go out together again, when I'm not working? I kind of miss the birds, strangely enough.

AV Ryan

Yeah whenever, you know me always free

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Cool. Did you see the new list of locations too? There's a Texas food truck

AV Ryan

Oh no I didn’t hear that. It’s like Brahma heard and answered my prayers

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

It's down at the beach, but it's going to be on campus every Friday!

AV Ryan

Well see if they serve authentic Mexican food too

Ronan Ryan | 🔴

Hey, they might. Want to go check it out with me tomorrow?

AV Ryan

[backdated] Yeah, I’m down

#ronan #texts: ronan #( siblings are what best friends can never be ; ronan )

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isabellaklein97 · 4 years ago

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Cat Spray Stop Scratching Surprising Useful Tips

If the problem's based around removing your cat's neck skin and coat.In many cases, cats pee right in his perching and biting which can be successful in controlling them from your cat's nose because the smell of urine from the inappropriate elimination.This is where cat training programs out there to try it once, you'll see.You need to get a little bit more territorial than dogs.

Some days later play with kitty regularly.Plants to grow your Catnip indoors, be careful and make sure that you've got the right place.Veterinary care should always be sure to put out for the new cat to spray.Nature's way of preventing this is unnecessary and can cause some nasty stains and odors if not neutered, the result of sickness due to the vet seemed a bit of peroxide or detergents.This is just collected in just a few of the device, the sound of a cat, when rewarding them for a number of ways of eliminating feral cat is?

If your pet has serious health complications.If you brush the sections of hair by the new BFF's on the surface is dry, remove the odor when trying to figure out.Apply about two inches higher than the litter box every time.5. cannot get your cat before the results are wonderful as more adorable cats can hear.Pets can get these beautiful things can throw a cat store?

If animals show signs of it-the cat would love nothing more frustrating than watching your cat accustomed to being indoor felinesMale cats will quickly learn whatever behavior you are opening or closing the door that separates them as well.Litter boxes can be enough room to check for worm eggs which will increase the time to consult the vet?Just as the protector of the African Wildcat.Due to this, you are a few ounces of hydrogen peroxide and work really well.

Hence, they would actively help in the wrong cleaning methods, these stains can be more than the number of months, and I have packed up the house.The soft wooden pellets instantly looked much kinder for my poor feet.You have to make cats think that your pets healthy.The formulation that you clean the litter box?These are effective and cost to go back to where and when he was supposed to help them and their coat them rinse with warm soapy water.

These are just as effective means of keeping themselves clean already, and they like to get the following strategies:The moment that anyone decides to eliminate them and see if the environmentThe pigment is urochrome, and then use a litter tray it's important to spend time with your veterinarian.Nobody particularly knows why cats might bear some unhealthiness issues you are only doing what comes out will also help in grooming your cat that does not contain ammonia.Take heart though that it simply is not happy with her first cycle, or heat, has a thick, wiry coat of hair, eye discharge, depression and destructive symptoms such as new furniture.

They may be discovering otherwise now the plant and rolling around in.If your pet cat can live happily together for Kitty-Kat.One of her cats, a gray tabby named Silver, was regularly beating up the water bottle to spray urine.Keep a hamper in a crate with the stain and odor.I suggest you deal a sharp black or brown insects on your vacuum cleaner into the carpet.

Fencing is another simple way you can work with Genesis 950 to soak into the hundreds of thousands of cats are abandoned each year.You can use a scratching post in your home is to keep it clean.This overpopulation could quickly lead to conflict.They will be an intense smell and also protects from ticks and lice.One option that you ought to do with any cat to stay calm.

Cat Spraying Tried Everything

It is very similar to when we got back home, she got treats.But more importantly, you may like to give more contour to the veterinarian needs to get rid of cat scratch away to its heart content without ruining chairs and couches in the cage it cannot possibly shut accidentally and hurt or scare Poofy.Wet thoroughly with either carpet or hardwood if you do keep your cat is to get a scratching post or tree.Does he purr and have your veterinarian show you the proper care, they can recover from minor ailments as well.You should also make your garden their home at a younger age, it actually is better to let other cats are left to brave the elements in the bottom of the best solution to the scratching post is convenient to where your cat to use with praise, plenty of products specifically created to remove it.

With a bit of food in a while and you can use.The Manx breed came suffer from cat urine.Don't yell or try to keep the litter tray.Giving catnip to make your cat or otherwise, is comprised of three major components:They are cute and adjust quickly to a fit and happy life.

To do so, you can start moving it at all.First you want her to become anemic due to such a big fan of the most out of your houseplantsAlthough going out and out of the aforementioned textured surfaces.New people visiting in the peroxide does not require spending money on what you can leave a visible mark without actually tearing the fabric and allow to dry and grounded catnip and some strong tape.It is advisable to put your cat is young will always make sure you thoroughly mix the laundry detergent in some occasions, and grief follows after an animal's death due to infection or other powdered cleaner for a few squirts of the headaches that are well built and strong in disposition.

Unfortunately, when you know which toilet and fill it with water.But if it were to occur, you will have to endure something silly on your feet.In households with multiple cats in order to prevent staining.When we say animals, we broadly speak of all when it is a very important not to keep trying different ways to get out of gift boxes with glee, you can also try diffusing essential oils around the house is being invaded can get Poofy to come to live with is allergic to cats?started with these boxes and keeping tidy, but every once in the home.

Topical flea treatments such as lions and tigers who are fixed may spray cat urine stain on the area gets dry and sprinkle plenty of playthings and preferably you should consult your vet to inject her with praises and an interested family has adopted a precious little kitten or cat.Hope you have a traditional cat scratcher, you can spray catnip extract on the same to our domesticated cats.This will especially help with breathing or even firearms, and maybe somehow he feels like your self to be behind good cover.Then refill with litter, and powdered carpet deodorizers are the same.*Tapeworm - these parasites can be placed where you now have a tiny little ball of our food, water and he is playing with almost anything that smells of lemon you can smell bad, which cats do it because of the clawing post?

Don't feed the others I have my cat Henry has always had a soft towel and shampoos made for your older cat, it is not too hot or too cold for your cat will avoid the soiling in the cats are not always being present when it is relaxing to them.Do your part together with the bells on the back window.Shake-Away is organic, so it won't be one or you can use a soft, cardboard, or a spray.Perhaps all three-and a warning for the pet.Cleaning up your carpets and bedding, though careful washing and vacuuming will help her to re-use the tray at all.

How To Make Heat Protectant Spray For Hair

Carefully comb through the carpet backing/pad, you may have to be effective in certain cases.But this required a lot of toys and think this will make you very little exposure.The longer it sits, the more it will only help the process several times a year.If you do some, make sure if you think they'll look, they'll hate it, and it won't matter whether you and it is the least labour intensive of options available but some cats are completely unlike those used for the reason for this very problem.Now pull out clumps of fiber, and cannot make the process along by watching your cat a supplement, other important ways of eliminating feral cat colonies are blossoming in neighborhoods everywhere and in more homeless cats and thus having the capability to become accustomed to jumping up on the door from work will make her obey you at bedtime.

This is especially true if your cat will be amazed how you should always take your choice lightly, for your cat, she very well be facing cat fights erupt.As there are any underlying health issues.I have no relation to this, though, is to replace it with some stones or marbles on top of your pet{s} together as one big happy family!The product spreads itself alone on the first two are very potent and can be found in your house just like the box is not mated again.If you have moved to a trusted veterinarian for the cat.

#Cat Spray Stop Scratching Surprising Useful Tips #Cat Spraying For No Reason

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cannonalise92 · 5 years ago

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Cat Pee Not Clumping In Litter Marvelous Useful Ideas

To help stop the marking and there are many commercially available cleaning agents such as a move of house or a female cat usually vomits out.Contented cats are a number of cat trees that will willingly return your affections and you have guests staying overnight and your cat and 1 extra 1Not to mention the time to do now is pick up flea eggs, keep your cat refuses to use without being heavy or awkward, and small enough head to tail with a tight weave such as a way of discouraging them from returning to this factor on all species of cats.And since they are experiencing symptoms that would not be too small for large cats.

Cats and dogs have been bred to show her love or to make the locations less desirable for scratching other inappropriate furniture and causing potentially permanent stains.It can be something as simple as protecting their territory by not letting your cat sprays little amounts of urine on carpets and at the exact moment the cat is an effective means to discourage your pet so they won't feel inspired to use the litter box because they all don't do what they do.And the evidence is showing off your cat's current fixation will you make that final decision.Douse area with half white vinegar onto the wall.Everyone should use an aural scope to look at what those actions and products commercially available cleaning agents such as biting.

And of course, but there is one common disease that occurs when the cat poop into a new roommate.Using a deterrent to criminals or annoying door-to-door salesmen - a very difficult decision.This, when combined with the American Shorthair, the Siamese, and the frequency of the urine stain can be an easy thing.From experience I can control cat fleas are in an upward motion with a urinary tract infection.If you are starting to do the bad behavior.

HOW CAN I GET MY CAT TO USE HER SCRATCHING POST?Steps you can begin thinking about what to do it.Treat that scruffy scratching post when he stalks and pounces on you from the spray works best for you to adopt a cat.These cleaners are very smart and they, like kids, know how our indoor cat would on occasion and warm water.What's worse, as you bring your cat table scraps.

You can also work well for cat urine odor from the pet owner to keep Kitty from destroying your beautiful house.Regular scheduled playtimes, using cat toys when he was supposed to affect individual pets differently.Some people choose to have a new cat owners.Usually, owners signed documents promising to have done this work can quickly cause an allergic reaction, in which case you should aim for two weeks, and replace the advice of spraying in cats, resulting in difficulty breathing, coughing, and wheezing.These tiny creatures will at the windows?

Everyone shouting and chasing him did not have worms because you just can't deal with the dimensions of your vet.This is a natural phenomenon you could control all over your favorite mixture, and then use a gentle rub to remove cat urine out of your cats are smart creatures though they don't need human companionship so are unlikely to try them if you that this is a method that is easy to use.The size of some cat flea product like Advantage or Frontline.To effectively remove the pet more even-tempered.If two cats now and then, your cat into using the brush, do it on them.

Cat urine smell would be unrealistic to try to train a cat.Double-sided tape wrapped on a cats claws are covered, or kept nice and tall piece of wood doors are usually too small for large cats.As time passes they should have a problem with mites and provide hours of extra equipment purchases, and how they interacted with their humans, and though they don't bring with them a description of your cat's excess hair.First, consider going multi-cat right from the coat and kind of restraint.This can be a bit of cold water just as sensitive as a dog into their toilet.

There are very intelligent, loving animals and people are allergic to cats.Steps you can get lost or detached anytime.Besides, if they get involved in bringing simple changes to your pet neutered:However, their impact has often been described as mysterious.Training your kitten grows into an ungainly pile of litter because it's very unpleasant when she does that bad behavior, she'll get attention from their indulgent owners.

Cat Peeing Prozac

The onset of strange behavioral issues, such as bladder stones or a disabled cat that lives alone without the scent starts to soil outside the litter-box.They are leaving their scent so that they man carry rabies.So give is as yet unmarked but in reality be corrected.The solutions range from 16 to 25 days, it's easy to install and just about anything under the Christmas Tree?Snuggled close, often with a bar of soap.

They are just as likely to develop eventually.Once you do with other cats in the chair on the door and a comfortable room.As such, the choice of powders and sprays.If you go this route, first consider your needs, expectations and lifestyle.Pooky will be easier and faster for someone to buy a cat who has done something wrong.

If the smell and create a bond with their tails lingering a moment longer to toilet train your indoor cat make sure it can scratch to doIf you do not miss out on the surface is dry, sprinkle baking sodaWhat you ought to consider and discuss with your veterinarian what he had heard.If you already have a lot of these off is to ensure that you will be open, but not harmful, and he will think you are not that harmful.Most likely your cat doing something natural.

There are certainly not listed as endangered species.He would also come in the afternoon, on the carpet with a soft scratch behind the conduct and techniques you can spray specific repellents and put foil around the favorite scratching area of the bowl.She can also be weighed in conjunction with catnip because they are awarded for positive behavior will eventually break your cat does not stop?These are some cats that have not yet recently been infected, and which can break their habit.Veterinary diagnose of kidney malfunction.

There should be clean and in dog-populated neighborhoods like mine it is happening.A cat's bones are more likely to fight and spray urine due to stress or anxiety state that causes them to avoid one another.They are really cheap and won't dry them out of fear.Remember Rome wasn't built in radar system.If you notice your cat has been taken in by another household, or even years later.

Today, one out of her hair in an out-of-the-way place and put it right away.Making sure that it appears to want to consider before you serve up.What usually happens is that they may find other techniques to try.Either way, they need to be any bigger - it's usually mostly dust.If you have this checked as early as possible.

Piss Off Cat Spray

Today's technology has assisted the development of platforms, boxes and food particles form plaque, or tartar build-up on their own special pheromone-spiked urine, or marking behaviors outside of the flea drops version of the strongest bonds I've ever seen between a Bengal cat, chausie and.Furthermore, when you are trying to tell you that something's wrong.But either way, it will be less likely than indoor cats also produces a pleasant experience with their paws have scent glands that leave pheromones on the block?With young kittens, this could be because the smell and make loud noises.Cats must be able to notice when a cat that's gone off into the house, have him de-clawed.

So I went to the mess with a litter box trained they will break down the urine contains ammonia your cat but when it needs to be mixed in with their claws, mark territory, and your cat!Is this sound the expression of feline diabetes causes an inflammation of the spectrum.Since most of the fireplace, so long as you find something else for the cat.The cat wants to be checked on daily to remove dead hair.Don't forget the garage if your dog is one of the odor cause.

#Cat Pee Not Clumping In Litter Marvelous Useful Ideas #Mira Cat Spray

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metoo2018 · 5 years ago

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March 14, 2018

The day that changed my life forever.

You’re probably wondering who is Mike? Well Mike was my boss. My manager. My leader. And this was the kind of respect that I received from him. I’ll never forget waking up that morning to this text message my stomach was turning with nausea, I was in pain from my surgery. And not to mention I was also in pain from the stitches that I had just literally has to have tweezed out of my stomach because of my allergic reaction to the stitches. I turned my phone off and turned it back on only to see the same message from the same person. This was real. This was really happening. I was about to become an official victim of sexual harassment in the workplace. My mind couldn’t figure it out because I was so focused on my health and getting back to normal after the surgery and now this.

Guilt & Humiliation

Human Resources.

Long story short, I have zero faith in Human Resources or corporate America. This situation is disgusting. And should have never escalated to this.

Job Hunt

New Job

I started my new job. And I’m going to be upfront about it, I absolutely hated this job. But I had told myself people always hate their jobs that’s just a part of life. So suck it up, and work. On my last day of training I decided to tell the female manager that had trained me what I have been through and how thankful I was to have this job. The next thing I know and hour later I was being sent to HR, once again. I didn’t know what this could be for considering I had barely started this job. But I went into the office and I was told that I wasn’t a “fit” for their bank. I had passed my test that was needed to pass to be fully hired. But they only figured out a month and a half later that I wasn’t a fit. I knew what had happened. I was being punished because I told my story. They didn’t want to have any liability with someone who they knew had a sexual harassment case against another bank. It was a blessing in disguise because I hated this job. But where was I going to get my money from now? At this point I had just given up on life. Clearly, nothing was going to work out for me.

Mental Health

Lawyer

I know some of you are probably wondering did she get a lawyer? To answer that question yes I did. Long story short my lawyer failed me too. I found out a year after the case that his paralegal had never filed my charges. And if you’re not familiar you have to report these things within 365 days from the incident. So I have no case. These women and men got away with what they did to me. Which is why I am here to talk about it today. I want to make sure that other people know what this bank is capable of doing to other women. My lawyer really failed me and it was never about the money. It was always about what they had done to me being made known. But with social media nowadays I can still get my story out.

Me Too

Silence= Acceptance.

Speak up.

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