metoo2018

[metoo2018]

March 14, 2018

The day that changed my life forever.

You’re probably wondering who is Mike? Well Mike was my boss. My manager. My leader. And this was the kind of respect that I received from him. I’ll never forget waking up that morning to this text message my stomach was turning with nausea, I was in pain from my surgery. And not to mention I was also in pain from the stitches that I had just literally has to have tweezed out of my stomach because of my allergic reaction to the stitches. I turned my phone off and turned it back on only to see the same message from the same person. This was real. This was really happening. I was about to become an official victim of sexual harassment in the workplace. My mind couldn’t figure it out because I was so focused on my health and getting back to normal after the surgery and now this. 

Guilt & Humiliation

Believe it or not this is what I felt. Maybe I had done something to prompt this message. Maybe I gave him the wrong signals. Maybe this was my fault. I don’t know what I did to make him feel that sending me something like this was OK but maybe I did something that I wasn’t aware of. I try to keep a very professional platonic relationship with everyone that I work with. Especially Mike. Just simply because he made me so uncomfortable all the time. And at this moment I realized those times he walked past me and brushed up against me, winked at me, made a nasty disturbing comment towards me, those weren’t thoughts that were just in my head my boss was actually hitting on me.  there is nothing more uncomfortable than having to bring something like this to your mother. Your father. Your family and friends. But I had to tell someone. I couldn’t just walk back into work and pretend like this never happened.

Human Resources.

Human resources is the term that I use very lightly now. Human resources is supposed to help you in situations like this. They are supposed to support you. And be there as support. I’m sure you’ve heard of the #MeToMovement. And I’m very certain that Fifth Third Bank has heard of it. So there’s no other option other than them to support me. Because I can make this a really big story right? I reported it to human resources and maybe two days later got feedback that they would be meeting with Mike and that I should return to work as I normally would. I was terrified I asked if they were sure that there was no other location that I could go to. I was told plain and simple, “No.” I took that and went to work as I normally would paranoid out of my mind that Mike would show up. I got a call around lunchtime that day and I was told that he no longer worked for the company and that he resigned. I then asked once again is it possible for me to change locations. Once again I was told “No.”

My district manager came in and I thought maybe it was to address the situation and make sure that I was OK. She didn’t come in for any of those reasons and actually came in and took away my 40 hours and bumped me down to 20 hours a week. Was I being punished for reporting the sexual-harassment? Is this something that really happened? Why is everyone acting like nothing happened here? In that moment I decided I should probably get a lawyer and another job. But I kept quiet I followed the rules I stood two weeks after surgery for my eight hour shift after our new stand in manager had taken away all of the chairs. I thought that maybe my phone call from HR was the last I had heard of them, but I was wrong. 

HR came in a month later and I knew they were there for me. I hadn’t done anything wrong, I balanced my drawer every single night. But I just knew they were there for me. So I got called into the back room and I don’t know if you know anything about HR, but when HR comes it’s not to congratulate you. It is to fire you. So I go in the back room and the only thing they could pull up was two customers that they said they called to verify that I disposition and their accounts, and apparently those customers said that they have never met me. Considering, that I was the only teller at that time, this was false. Who else would they have met? So I asked if they would like to take a ride up to the store around the corner with me so I can show them the new customer. Ha, of course they didn’t want that. I made copies of everything they had me sign and showed proof in my emails that I in fact, very much knew those customers. Considering I had the date and time I opened the accounts in my email. Fail on their part. I wasn’t the right one to mess with.

All I could think of was how I hope this never happens to my district manager’s daughter. I hope her daughter never feels as low as I felt and unsupported as I felt. But maybe that would be the only time she would understand what she did as a woman. Everything is a revolving door and I hope my face is imprinted in her memory forever. 

I only had one witness in this case. I didn’t want to take everyone down with me. But I thought maybe something like that wouldn’t happen. So my one witness was actually called 30 minutes after HR came and met with me over the phone and fired. They fired her because she was a witness to my sexual harassment. This is the kind of company I was working for. Wow. So now I made someone lose their job because they supported me. To this day, I think about her everyday and want to continue apologizing even when she tells me not to. I brought her into my mess. I feel terrible. Who wouldn’t? I was told I would know the following Thursday if I had a job while they finished their “investigation”. What they were investigating, the world may never know.

Long story short, I have zero faith in Human Resources or corporate America. This situation is disgusting. And should have never escalated to this.

Job Hunt

During all of this I was on a job hunt. I had to find a new job. So I finally got an interview at another bank and waited patiently for two weeks to find out whether or not I had the job. Finally that Wednesday night, I got the car I had been waiting for. If you remember, I was probably going to be fired the next day which would be Thursday. I was offered a job and immediately excepted the offer. It was going to be full-time and I would be making two dollars more than I was making at Fifth Third Bank. Finally, I thought. I went to work the next day and I quit through an email. I worked my entire shift and the last hour I sent my email resigning and letting them know that I was resigning because of how I was treated after reporting sexual harassment.  for some reason my stand in manager and District manager we’re both out of the office this day. I truly believe it was because they were planning on coming in and firing me but I beat him to the punch. So I was told they would be there in 30 minutes and I would do my exit interview. This was not an exit interview it was basically a give me your keys and leave situation. So I had already sold all of my money to the vault, and there was nothing left for them to count in my drawer. So there will be no way they could say that I still not even a dime. As I was told to handover my keys I said that I would not hand them over until I walked up and balanced my drawer with the manager standing next to me. I wish I could’ve been in her brain when she saw that there was no money in my drawer. Even though I knew there was no money in my drawer I wanted to make sure that it was on camera that I did not steal anything from this bank. I went home and I rested. Good riddance.

New Job

I started my new job. And I’m going to be upfront about it, I absolutely hated this job. But I had told myself people always hate their jobs that’s just a part of life. So suck it up, and work. On my last day of training I decided to tell the female manager that had trained me what I have been through and how thankful I was to have this job. The next thing I know and hour later I was being sent to HR, once again. I didn’t know what this could be for considering I had barely started this job. But I went into the office and I was told that I wasn’t a “fit” for their bank. I had passed my test that was needed to pass to be fully hired. But they only figured out a month and a half later that I wasn’t a fit. I knew what had happened. I was being punished because I told my story. They didn’t want to have any liability with someone who they knew had a sexual harassment case against another bank. It was a blessing in disguise because I hated this job. But where was I going to get my money from now? At this point I had just given up on life. Clearly, nothing was going to work out for me.

Mental Health

This is the most important part of the story in my opinion. My mental health was suffering so badly at this point all I could think of as far as solutions was to commit suicide. I went on day-to-day pretending like everything was ok knowing I was talking to suicide hotline’s in my room at night trying to find some sort of hope to not do this. I cried myself to sleep every night. There were two specific people who probably has no idea who they are to this day, who both said to me the same day on the phone “you sound really sad” and that was when I realized it was showing. I couldn’t hide it. So I swallowed my pride and I decided to get help. I went to my doctor and let her know that I needed some help. I told her my situation and I could barely get through the appointment without hysterically crying. Everything happened so fast but all I know is she was asking me a bunch of questions and the next thing I know I was in an emergency room and I was being sent to a mental hospital. This was it for me as soon as I got out of this hospital I was just going to do it. If this is the way my life was going to be because I reported sexual-harassment then I was certainly going to end it. I cried myself to sleep that night in the hospital trying to keep as quiet as I could because the girl next to me was probably going to wake up by the sound of my sobs. I have never felt so alone. I was so angry at my doctor for doing this to me. I regret it even going to get help. I should’ve just done it is what I told myself.

The next morning I finally met with the doctor. I told him my situation which was hard because I felt like I just kept having to tell people the same story over and over again and it was getting me nowhere and I was having to relive what this man has done to me over and over again. But he was so understanding. He told me what I was dealing with was actually PTSD. And it was completely normal in my kind of situation. He put me on the right medication to help me get through it, after all that was the whole point of me going to the doctor lol. I was so embarrassed when I got home. Now everyone knew my deepest secret. Everyone knew that I was going to commit suicide. How humiliating. But I cried for a few days and I got myself back together.

Lawyer

I know some of you are probably wondering did she get a lawyer? To answer that question yes I did. Long story short my lawyer failed me too. I found out a year after the case that his paralegal had never filed my charges. And if you’re not familiar you have to report these things within 365 days from the incident. So I have no case. These women and men got away with what they did to me. Which is why I am here to talk about it today. I want to make sure that other people know what this bank is capable of doing to other women. My lawyer really failed me and it was never about the money. It was always about what they had done to me being made known. But with social media nowadays I can still get my story out.

Me Too

I never thought I’d be a part of this me to movement. But throughout the time I worked with this man my mother told me “if he keeps it up you are going to be a part of the me to movement.” I doubted her, and here we are. 

I’m not sharing my story for anyone to feel sorry for me. I’m not sharing my story to make myself seem like I’m better than anyone else. I’m sharing my story because I know this happens to women every single day and they don’t talk about it because of the things that have happened to me. What if I took my life? I wouldn’t be here to be able to be a voice for the women who feel like they can’t speak up about things like this. I feel that everything happens for a reason and I wasn’t able to commit suicide because this is what I was supposed to do. I was supposed to share this story with other women. I am here for any woman struggling with this at any time or day. I didn’t have that. And I know there are so many women who have went through worse and haven’t shared their story. But let’s talk about it. Let’s not let these men think they can get away with this.

Silence= Acceptance.

Speak up.