#I suffer from the if I look at it too long I need to fix it disorder
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âŠ. Just so we all know this is the stage from where I need to pull my little clone portraits together
#Wip#my art#and then I will merge my sketch and paint layers together and the messing around starts for real#but FIRST I need to figure out my colours for good#havenât struggled with them so much in a very very long time I feel like#shadows and mid tones and secondary light source and all that aaaah#I need to switch my brain off a little between commissions#I swore I was normal about that Tem gifset didnât I?#then I stumbled into a fic where Rex picks up the horrible habit of smoking while on leave and here I am#I know I messed up something in my sketch that I will suffer to try and fix later but even when I flip it it doesnât look TOO bad#he looks FINE in the reference window#which I will take at this point#the sketch took me as long as the other portraits from first line to colour adjustments lol#purple is giving me hellâŠ. itâs time I run away and live out the rest of my life as a hermit away from civilization I suppose
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Day two of re-deep cleaning my carpets: I went over each room TWICE and the water was still coming out black. However, I have figured out how to REALLY effectively use the machine now, and got out way more of the stains than I did when I deep cleaned the carpets before Christmas time.
My cousin suggested a cheaper cleaning solution than the name-branded one Iâve been using, which I might investigate after I run out of soap. Iâm positive that if I did another sweep of both rooms, Iâd still be pulling out huge clumps of nastiness, so the soap Iâm using right now is good and all, itâs just expensive.
My other worry is that the carpet feels slightly sticky after cleaning. Iâm not sure if I should put some hot water into the machine with no soap and run that over to clean up any residue or what, but right now Iâm too tired - Iâve been cleaning this shit for 3 hours.
Right now, Iâm just satisfied that instead of huge discolored patches everywhere, there are smaller areas of it in smaller, harder to see places.
Iâm a little scared of the big living room, which is the worst in the whole house (aside from my papas room). My littlest cousin, now 17, would camp out in one chair for DAYS out there, and heâs notorious for spilling shit. Just the other day he spilled soda all over the carpet, though he did apologize to me for it because he knew Iâd cleaned the carpets semi recently LMAO. Those stains were easy enough to get out, but the ones in the big living room are INSANE. Streaks of orange and bright pink completely caked in, nasty speckly spots from food spills, etc. I shudder at the thought. Iâll try tackling that room on Sunday. Iâll have to move all the furniture out of the way, but my grandparents have been good sports about letting me fuck with everything for the sake of cleaning the house.
(Please note that this carpet hasnât been cleaned in about 10 years, that it has weathered at least 6 children from infant to teenager, and is in the home of two older folks who canât vacuum or clean as often as the place needs. Since moving in in 2022, Iâve made it my mission to help make the house cleaner, and Iâve so far succeeded! The kitchen is a nightmare, but some battles I just canât win LMFAO.
Also please note that glitter is a generational curse and at least 1/4 of the debris I keep pulling out of the carpet is chunky silver glitter. I donât know how but it is in EVERY inch of the carpet in this house.
Triple note that I am in dire need of moving the furniture out of my room and closet and hitting the carpet in there again now that I know what Horrors lie beyond one imperfect deep clean. My room was originally inhabited by nightmare meth aunt who had mold growing in the windows, burnt a huge hole in the carpet that the old cat used to pee in, had broken mirrors laying on the floor, and left behind various, sticky brown stains all over the carpet that I figured I just wouldnât be able to get out. I now know how to get them out and by the gods. Will I do that. Sometime. Eventually.)
#Rhys irl#I turn 22 and suddenly I need to clean#no Iâve always needed to clean#I suffer from the if I look at it too long I need to fix it disorder#I was laying face down on the carpet the other day and thought. this smells like cat piss.#and that was it đ
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once again thinking about my post-trimax legato somehow miraculously survives despite everything au and vashgato agenda aka The Worlds Most Miserable Roadtrip
#one of these days ill get back to it#its the fucking. anger and hatred and loathing from legato @ vash#because legato and vashs entire dynamic is fucking#legato has lain down on the tracks. and he doesnt want to be saved. he needs vash to be the train that runs him over.#and then he lives. somehow. he missed his chance to die.#he had no reason to live. his one reason to carry on was for a cause he fully intended to die for and then he couldnt even do that#mirrored by vash. who also went into that confrontation with knives fully intending to not make it out#and now the world is saved! knives failed and now hes gone. and thats a whole fucking thing to unpack for everyone#the fucking anger. the grief. the whole fuckin mess of contradictory emotions that happens as a result of abuse from a family member w vash#fucking Everything wrt legato. the devastation of knowing knives is gone + he failed + legato lived + *vash* lived#the slowwwwwww realization over a long long period of time that legato worshipped the ground knives walked on#but knives only ever regarded legato with like. the same way someone might an ant. a bug. maybe a dog.#legato who only ever wanted to be Seen by knives#and knives who never particularly cared for legato beyond his usefulness#legato who begins following vash because its probably what knives would want + there is truly nothing else on this planet for him.#he has no other reason to live#and vash allowing him out of some sense of pity / resignation + being able to see that theres Nothing left for legato#+ probo some sense of obligation too. of heres another person his brother fucked up. which means hes vashâs responsibility to fix#all the while legato resents vash for living when knives isnt here. resents him for failing to kill him.#resents him for being the only other thing that knives actually cared about + who rejected knives when all legato ever wanted#was knivesâ attention#and vash who frankly resents legato too. resents the fact that. of all the people who managed to survive. it was legato and not ww#resents all the shit that legato put him through. all the people he killed all the suffering he inflicted#the two of them looking at each other and the fucking. recognition of the self thru the other#and seeing all the shit they hate about themselves in the other#theres also again the shared grief of them both losing someone incredibly important to them both but who was also responsible for some#abuse to Both of them. unpacking it. working through it. moving forward.#learning How to move forward as a Whole when theyre both two deeply traumatized deeply suicidal fucks who no longer have the singular goals#thatve been their sole reason for existing for the past. many. years. and having to find new reasons to keep living#but most of all. i think they should make out sloppy in the desert thank you goodnight
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â BON APPĂTIT, BABY! â g. satoru
â sum. stupid ovulation week is approaching soon and out of nowhere, you get baby fever. you ask your sugar daddy for help but his version of âhelpâ is trying to get you pregnant.
wc. 5.1k
warnings. fem! reader, sugar daddy!gojo au, age gap (early twenties/early thirties), praise, dirty talk, mentions of pregnancy, implied multiple rounds, size kink, Ćral (f! receiving), he makes out w your panties, overstim, major brÄeding kink, nıpple play, spıt, impact play, petnames.
†sd! gojo masterlist.
fuck, these cramps never knew when to quit.
you were crawled up in a ball on the sofa, suffering in agonizing silence. you sigh, taking a brisk glance near the grandfather clock that sits beside satoru gojo, your sugar daddyâs glass cabinets. oh, you missed him. itâs been a few good months with him as his sugar baby and you felt like a princessâno, a queen. heâs showered you with many many praises, not just gifts but of course, that too. youâre so lonely in his mansion, but you wondered what he was doing right now. probably working, you knew how busy of a businessman he was, but you missed him. his smell, his presence, his petnames. whipping out your phone, you unlock it, skimming toward his contact. âtoruâ with a pretty pink heart as his contact, you text him a sweet forward âmiss you.â
not even seconds later, he replies, giving your message a heart. âHi, sweetheart. i miss you too. being a good girl for me, yeah?â
with a pout, your eyes skim through his flirty words and you press the video call button. you couldnât wait. . you needed to see him. satoru answers it, and as expected, heâs sat upright in his office. so handsome, his snowy white hair was ruffled yet neatly slicked back and parted. he wore the suit you picked out for him, the jet-black one with a tie that makes his pretty blue eyes pop. âhey you,â a raspy voice utters on the phone, and heâs snickering at how youâre just lazily slump on the couch, bored out of your damn skull. âput some clothes on, darlinâ.â
âno,â you grump, although you did have clothes on. clothes that basically consisted of a thin sage tank top and panties. satoru was typing on his computer. you heard the quickness of his fingers typing away as heâs taking every few glances to look at you again. âcome home, âtoru. these cramps are killinâ me,â and you mumble the last part under your breath. â. . andiwantababy.â
itâs a long silent pause and heâs fully looking at you through the screen now. all that could be heard in the background was the screeching and beeps of his costly fax machine.
satoruâs got a glint in his eyes before his voice pitches, and he slyly hums. âoh, you want a baby, sweets? my, you really do need me âta come home, huh.â
you squeeze your thighs together, positioning your phone to lie in landscape modeâyou were still a bit sensitive from earlier, from touching yourself. as your breath excitingly hitches, you couldnât help but pout again.
â âtoru, think âm havinâ baby fever or something,â and your words were oh so sweet. satoruâs sitting up against his chair, leaning up against his palm. the shine of his expensive g-shock glimmers in the light within each time he moves. âcome home, please.â
âsweetheart,â he tsks, two white arched brows piercing together. he could never say no to you, he spoiled you so much . . not that he never minded either. you were his baby, and satoru playfully scoffs at your needy declaration. âyou really canât wait another hour? iâm almost done.â
âno,â you grouse, a cute glower stretching across your features, marinating as you speak. satoru chuckles at your bratty persistence, and you watch as he fixes his tie, lightly tugging on it.
âfine, fine,â he gruffs. âiâm coming, princess. wear that new designer set i bought for you, okay? ya know the one, the rose-gold?â
smearing your glossed lips against each other, you give him a nod. you ached for him, each second you spent on the phone was a constant reminder of how he wasnât there with you. satoru found your clinginess adorable though. it was cute how youâd always text and call him while heâs at work. even if his responses were hours late, heâd always get back to you, sending you sweet âhi babyâ and âi miss you more, pretty,â âs.
if you were feeling bold, youâd send him a few pictures of yourself in one of the many expensive custom-made sets of lingerie he buys you.
his favorite would have to be the âsatoru gojoâ exclusive brand of lingerie for women, he literally bought the entire stock of all colors just for you.
âokay,â you mumble, already making your way toward his bedroom. a few of his servants and butlers were dusting away at furniture and his entire mansion was huge. it was spacey, you could practically get lost in it. as you stomp lightly, the bare soles of your feet slide against the glassy-textured floor before you glance down at your screen. âdrive safe.â
âi will, sweets. see you soon, yeah?â
with a beep, the call ends and itâs just you trapped in your own silent thoughts.
as you made your way to the master bedroom, immediately, youâre met with the loud cologne scent of satoru. itâs enchanting, itâs always the same smell of cinnamon and spices. satoru gojo always smelled rich regardless. rich was his middle name. you dig through your walk-in closet he had made for you, fishing out the set he wanted to see you wear. it was dashingly pretty.
he bought the rose-gold set as a gift for your birthday, and even if it did hurt his pockets a lot, he never cared. anything for youâhis pretty baby.
about forty minutes later, satoru returns home finally and he yawns, stretching his long limbs. you scurry to him, your head reaching just near the center of his chest and he lightly jerks back.
âhey baby,â he returns the hug, big callused hands roaming up and down your exposed skin. the lingerie fit you perfectly, displaying your curves and gorgeous physique. satoru buried his face into the crook of your neck, planting a soft kiss. âyouâre so spoiled. i canât always leave work jusâ because you miss me, yâknow.â
âi know,â you let off a soft moan, his soft lips creating gingerly mushy traces everywhere near your skin. he was always so tender, nips of kisses slowly turning into flicks with his tongue. satoruâs left hand slowly snakes near your leg, raising it up before wrapping it around his slim torso. your ankle rubs against the burberry belt he wore. it clanks loudly and he then lifts you up. âs- satoru!â
âwhat?â he hums, leading you closer toward the bed.
you heard the playfulness in his tone, and heâs got you in such a firm grasp. his fingertips continue to roam down your soft skin, snagging against the laced fabric that wraps around your body like a christmas present. âgod, youâre so hot,â he murmurs in a raspy tone, and you glance at his parted slick backed hair. itâs unkempt now, white strands and tresses running down his eyes. he lies you down on the bed gently, and thatâs when he gets on top of you.
you gulp, meeting the eyes of satoru. pretty blue eyes, theyâre always so mesmerizing to look at.
but this time, heâs got a more feral look in his pupils as they dilate. âsweetheart,â he whispers, using a thumb to caress the edge of your twitching lip. with the way youâre prettily sprawled all out like this for him at his very mercy, thereâs so much he wanted to do. satoruâs eyes never leave yours, not for a single second. âdo you really want a baby or is just the baby fever?â
âb- both,â you gasp, not even noticing his hand creeping down between your legs, parting them apart.
you moan, feeling his palm rub up against the outline of your panties. so soaked, satoruâs breath hitches at your sweet whimpers and heâs so close up to you. so close that his rock-hard boner presses up against you and fuck, itâs hard. a visible tinted bulge was sticking out the center of his slacks and itâs driving him mad.
the mental image of you with a swollen tummy, all plump and baring his child, it makes him groan. satoruâs had his fair share amount of sugar babies in the past, but none of them were you.
âsuch a silly little girl,â he huffs, a bit of humor in his tone. but not wanting to waste any time, he leans in, capturing your lips into a deep hungry kiss.
whiny moans pour into his mouth - heâs sweet.
the minty kind of sweet where you taste peppermint lingering on his tongue.
satoru kisses sloppy this time, gradually grinding his body against yours. itâs incredibly sloppy, not much passion and more-so filthâstrings of spit tangle with each other, forming little lustrous cobwebs of saliva before he sucks on your tongue. his pretty white lashes flutter before he opens them, staring at you, grunting right in your mouth. his boner continues to rub off against your clothed pussy and his groans only grow louder.
âfuuuuckk,â he swears, smacks of lips ringing through his ears. it was something about you, he didnât know what it was but you were addicting.
satoru starts to peel off the pieces of lingerie piece by piece. by peel, heâs carelessly tearing through it as if the entire designer set didnât cost him an arm, a leg, and a fucking torso. but again, even with his pockets swollen and suffering because of you, heâd buy you the whole world if he could. well, he probably could. heâs satoru gojo. âsweets, âm gonna devour you.â
five words.
five words that constantly went on a loop in your head as satoruâs eating out your cunt like a starved man.
he was starved, itâs been hours since heâs seen you. as heâs delving his face right between the plush of your thighs. you moan, chomping the front row of your teeth down on your quivering bottom lip. fuck, he was just nasty.
merely seconds passed and heâs already slobbering over your pussy. strands and strands of glossy spit trickles from his lips and onto your folds. â âtoruuuu,â you whimper, relishing in the way his tongue curls all throughout your drooling core. heâs maneuvering all kinds of shapes and circles, even spelling all letters of his name on your cunt with his tongue. scarlet plump lips of his gently kiss near your labia whilst warm breath ghosts near your sappy slit. shaking all from his tongue, the bed grows rickety from your movements and you inhale a sharp breath.
your fingers get intertwined between his white locks of hair and you pull tight.
his head tugs forward into you and he grunts, swaying his slick pink muscle in and out of your cunt. âmngh,â he groans, and thatâs when he sneaks a hand between your pried open legs.
you stare down at him as heâs devouring you whole, slurping everything out of you until heâs satisfied - and that wonât be for a good while.
it doesnât take a while before heâs already completely pussy drunk.
satoruâs fingers slither near your pussy and as his flat tongue repeats to lap lap lap up your syrupy sweet juices, he pops inside a single finger.
an exasperated breathy gasp snatches straight out the back of throat before you immediately feel the mouthwatering stretch of his digits and itâs toe curling.
if it was one thing about satoru, his fingers were long, slender, and also very very thick.
with a single swirl motion heâs making with his finger shoved deep inside, youâre already at the verge of breaking. crumbling because of his sloppy tongue. his fingers could stretch you out just as much as his cock could.
satoru even had you keep your panties on for him. the same panties he bought you as a gift.
a gift where he collaborated with victoriaâs secret, your panties had both of his infamous initials bedazzled on the front and back. god, every time he traces his tongue over the tiny little beads, it drives him crazy every time.
you drive him crazy.
his flat laid tongue teasingly licks at the silk fabric before it turns into a whole raunchy make out sesh. pretty white lashes flap as heâs slurping everything out of you, missing no spot.
he couldnât afford to, not when you tasted this good.
âweâre a âlil squirmy today, huh,â he snickers, feeling your weak thighs writhe because of his tongue.
it felt so good, the way heâs casually slurping you, eating your pussy as if it was the last thing to devour on earth. such raunchy sloshing sloshes cry out from your cunt and he groans. your fingers remain tangled in his hair, yanking on his messy tresses before he flicks his tongue against that spot.
itâs soft and spongy, and with the help of his long fingers curling and scissoring in and out of your sopping pussy, you let off a candied three-second shriek. âoh, darlin. found it, did i?â
âfuck, âtoru,â your body falls back against the silk pillows.
multiple wanton whimpers slither from your lips as heâs continuously toying his tongue against your g-spot. it seemed as if his tongue was helping with your cramps entirely. such pressure builds up in your body and you were just so hot that you felt like you were gonna explode. âgonna cum, fuck fuck.â youâre babbling out pathetic cries that fall deaf to his pointed ears. satoru hums in smug amusement, jaw feeling tight and locking but he doesnât care.
he was feeling pretty exhausted from coming back from work but just a single taste of your pussy and suddenly, he was energized once again.
ironic.
his two fingers continue to swivel around inside your gripping walls as your body slumps into the mattress in lewd defeat. satoru grunts, grinding his boner against the edge of the bed to calm himself but you made it so hard.
you made him hard.
as heâs luxuriating in this eagle view of your legs prettily laid up for him, heâs merely knuckles deep.
you can barely stay still and the bedâs staring to grow rickety. satoruâs speed of his tongue doesnât falters, and as heâs slurping every drop from your sappy foldsâyou let out your final elongated moan. itâs long, your legs erupt dramatically and shake within his hold before youâre finally cumming. it drags for a long time and youâre just nothing but hysterical.
overwrought with emotions and pleasure, your legs finally collapseâas if they werenât already basically limp, you exhale deeply.
âfuck, fuck fuuuck,â you repeat, watching with hazy murky eyes as he pulls your panties back toward the center with his teeth. satoru licks up your sweet saccharine-flavored juices that seep out from you, savoring the honeyed taste on his tongue before you pull on his hair . . hard.
âtsk. watch the hair, girl,â he warns you, still being cheeky and playful.
your cunt embarrassingly twitches once he makes eye contact with you again. satoru sits up, his entire chin coated with nothing but your slit. its a stream of it and itâs pretty. it was just the way it trickles down and he laps the crevices of his lips with his tongue. âso cute,â he murmurs, and he closes the gap between you both. as satoru feels your trembly legs wrap around his waist, he pulls you into another deep passionate kiss.
you moan right into his mouth, lazily tossing your arms over his broad-built shoulders before feeling him yank your panties down your legs and ankles.
satoruâs body was hot.
he still had his business attire on, and he feels your hand slowly removing his tie. your other hand runs down his tux, sliding inside the center to feel his washboard chiseled and hiding underneath the piles of formal work clothes.
âsuch a needy âlil thing,â he whispers gruffly between kisses, chuckling once he sees the forming pout tweak against your swollen lips.
satoru rubs a thumb over you lip before his crystalline-colored irises meet yours. the silence was cold, heâs got a wolffish smirk compressing against his lips before he mutters right near your ear. ânow, letâs give ya that baby, sweetheart.â
saying âbabyâ was an understatement.
with the way satoru was about to fuck you, he planned on giving you triplets.
maybe even more, and the constant rambles of how little âole you was stuck in his mansion all day with baby fever did something to him. oh, poor thing, suffering with cramps all day. it was the end of the world. to you at least it was. but like the loving sugar daddy he was, satoru figured heâd do his best to ease your little âproblems.â
âgimme that pretty arch, goooood..â he purrs, using a hand to rub down your exposed back.
satoru groansâhis formal trousers / pants were pulled down to his ankles and heâs staring at your pretty ass. so cute. he watches with a carnal glint in his eye as you position yourself, gnawing on your lip and the bars of your enclosure. the anticipation was about to bury you six feet under.
his leaky tip slowly smears and bedaubs against your dripping clit and you whine. your hands, clammy and all, roughly grip onto the richly-made sheets.
his tip was fat, itâs got a glistening swollen head thatâs teasing you. satoruâs breathing grows shallow once he sees your pussy cutely trying to swallow. âfuck, please,â you croak, desperate for him to go inside. he always does thisâeverytime.
right before heâs preparing himself to fuck you raw, satoru smacks his bulbous cockhead against your sappy weeping folds, hearing your sweet little cries grow unsatisfied. all you could think about was having him breed you full . . over and over and over again, you didnât just want it, you needed it.
you needed him.
ârelaaaax, sweet thing. âm comin,â a chortle dies from his throat as he feels you trying to wriggle your hips.
youâre impatient, and once heâs fully aligned, heâs finally dipping his weighty cock inside your perfectly tucked folds.
suddenly, your needy whines stop and they turn into whines of rapture. satoru trails a big hand toward the cusps of your ass, tracing down the cute curvy curvature of your body before your skinâs met with a rude swat.
you moan as heâs easing himself inside your gummy walls, stretching you open even more than his fingers did. âatta fuckinâ girl. let me in, biiiiiig stretch, there we go.â
the stretch . . youâd never get used to it, never.
your stomach heaves once heâs reeling his hips in. âs- shit,â you kiss your teeth, your knees already buckling and becoming weak. satoru spanks your bare ass again just to hear those sweet yelps leave your lips. heâs so fucking big, it doesnât take long before heâs bottoming out and you hear the welcoming âpopâ. satoru groans once he starts to move, one hand holding onto your hipâanother focused on your pretty perked ass. he likes this view, the view of his sweet girl arched over on all fours. satoru bites his lip as he starts to make delicious haste with his sharp keen hips.
âgod,â his head throws itself back briefly at a certain angle.
already, white strands stick to his forehead with the help of his sweat substituting as glue. satoruâs voice shakes as his cockâs fully in, your clingy gripping walls were so warm and it makes his mouth water from the inside. âmissed my favorite pussy so fuckinâ bad, so bad,â and you feel a few droplets plop down your back. satoruâs eyes rove over, watching you writhe again and he sheepishly snickers.
he was drooling.
âheh, sorry.â and he wipes his mouth with his wrist, the feral feeling pooling in his gut never fading.
youâre a mess underneath him, the second he starts to drill his hips into youâitâs over.
satoruâs stamina was always unhinged.
the bed croaks and groans from the constant shakes ân creaks it has to endure each second. the hinges were quite loud, you heard the rusty creaking wood that reverbs throughout the room. his cock continued to pound into you as his bodyâs on top of yours, in full sync with your own sloppy movement.
youâre whimpering, your head already being smushed against the pillow as the undersides of his thigh start to feel minuscule pangs. âtoru, toruuu,â you mewl out in a melodic whisper. heâs hitting you deep, your glossed lips part into a circle before you huff.
each strike of his hips felt more precise and brutal. . you wanted more, you wanted to feel him more.
âi know, i know,â he coos, thumbs circling around your waist as he holds you in place.
satoruâs hips were so sculptured and sharp that they give you whiplash every time. heâs got such power within each salacious strike that it makes your head spin. every single stroke, youâre left stupid and speechless with your tongue already dangling out of your mouth. the room grew steamy within a span of a few minutes. it smells like nothing but pure passionate sex.
by now, your eyes were rolling toward the very backs of your sockets in utter elated pleasure. youâre seeing nothing but splashes of ivory black and white. âaht aht. câmere, donât fuckinâ run sweetheart,â his voice was as smooth as silk. satoru feels your unsteady hips trying to crawl away but he reels you back in. ânuh uh. take it, take it, take it, girl.â he groans, his heavy hanging balls thwacking right against your ass within each pivotal thrust.
the band of his platinum-colored watch rubs off against your skin againâheâs watching you jerk back against him. his cock was so full, he licks his lips at the thought of your pretty pussy and how you were gonna wring him dry like you always do.
âfuck me, fuck me âtoru,â your whimpering words were repeating itself over and over as if you were a broken record. the pit of your stomach coils as each second draws itself out before heâs grunting gruffly. your cuntâs sloppy, coating his base with sheeny amounts and globs of slick. white hairs from his neat pubes stick against his skin and satoruâs now grinding into you. âah, right there, ngh please.â
âthaaaaatâs it pretty girl,â he snarls in a raspy voice, feeling the fat smacking stings of your ass jolt backward into his pelvis. âfuck me right back, mhm. gimme this pussy, make me proud baby.â
as heâs whispering all sorts of praises and dirty words, you can feel yourself reaching your limit soon â itâs so close.
a fluttering sensation brews up inside your stomach before satoru suddenly groans. âfuck,â his cockâs wholly stretching you out to your elastic limit before it meets that same textured spongey barrier again. he knows right away because your knees buckle, your breath grows quicker, and you let off another surprised shriek.
right there, x marks the spot after all and he was constantly hitting his tip there until you let out cute shrilling screams.
âgoddamn, âm gonna cum, sweets,â and his voice grows more shakier the longer heâs inside.
itâs as if time stood still.
the constant rotation of swiveling gyrations from each angle, each body has your head spinning like a merri-go-âround.
you were probably looking a dumb cock-drunk mess. unkempt strands of hair were already flopping down your face and occluding your view of vision entirely. satoru pierces his white brows together before lightly shoving you further into the mattress. as youâre cutely arched forward with your ass raised up, he leans way into your back, wrapping a hand softly around the back your throat.
âgonna fuckinâ give ya twins. one isnât enough, pretty girl. need that tummy swollen ân plump s- so bad,â and he inches his lips toward your spine, still pumping into you deep. âgonna make you my pretty âlil mama.â
as he continued to spoke, you whine as his cock plummets into your wet sopping cunt over and over. itâs to the point where your ears recognize the slapping sounds of skin. the squelches your wet cunt made had him groaning.
heâs breathing in huge chunks of air as heâs merely crushing you with his weight. as you both robustly rut into each other in flawless unison, satoruâs hefty weight that hovers over you anchors into yours, slamming further into you.
âfuck, donât stop, hngh,â and your words were as shaky as your chattering teeth.
he couldnât keep his hands off you, literally.
sweaty open palms paw at every part of your body. near your doughy tits, your assâhis favorite part, and even your pretty plush thighs that were nearly gluing together. âsatoru, satoru, pleaseee.â
âmhm, sweets..â his voice tremors and cracks before a sharp gasp wretches out of him. out of nowhere, you feel his hips come to an abrupt stop and he groans loudly.
itâs so loud that itâs an almost bellowing roar, both of his ears clank at the blissful sensations. satoru grows quiet once he feels it, that familiar pressure thatâs been stored full inside him for the longest.
heâs cumming, and itâs so much, a slimy knot shoots out and freely dribbles into your inviting swollen cunt and he chews the inside of his cheek. âfuck m- me,â he stammers, still holding both sides of your rickety hips.
the roomâs filled with husky pants and skin slapping until heâs slowing down - velvety stringy ribbons spurt into you raw until heâs hoarsely panting like a dog at the sight.
he canât stop staring. such a mess, but youâre his mess. god, the way it just leisurely trickles inside of you, spilling all down the sides of your jittery folds because it canât keep all of it in. the sounds were even more filthy, sloshing squeaks feels the room and he goes quiet just to get a good enough listen. satoru came so muchâso so much that it lasted for a plethora of long obscene seconds. as heâs trying to get over his orgasm, heâs still chewing at the inside of his cheek, his face growing flustered. his hips become strikingly sloppy and heâs basically humping you. âgod, have my fuckinâ kids, sweetheart. ugh,â and satoruâs as prettiest as heâs ever been.
with his lip dragging from his teeth biting near the bottom, his eyes scrunch shut and white brows curl up. huffing out a big deep exhale, heâs sweating bullets.
his thick calves felt like they were on fire but he didnât have enough of you yet. there was never enough of you. you had him whippedâheâs allowing you to milk him, relishing in the fact that your sweet cunt was just wringing him dry to the max.
satoru steadies your hips with his quavery hands, peering down at the masses of sweltering hot cum that drips down your legs and he grunts. âs- satoru,â you shiver, gasping once he pulls out only to flip you right over.
ânot done. still got so much more âta give my pretty girl,â he breathes, and itâs a feral look in his eyes. satoru raises your leg up slowly, his rings tickling against your bare skin. âlie on your back. i fuckinâ need more.â
satoru fucks you for hours.
any position you could even think of, heâs doing it.
both stacked bodies glisten with sheets of sweat as they rut back and forth against each other, fingers merrily intertwined. heâs determined to get you pregnant and your moans only fuel him. the rowdy snaps of his vigorous hips only grew stronger.
his stamina, youâre blinking, wondering if heâs even human. despite the drops of perspiration tearing from the sides of his face and his heaving long breaths, satoru showed no signs of fatigue.
he was drilling his thick cock into you again and againâgiving you orgasm after orgasm.
your toes curl as youâre trying to keep up with him but itâs to no avail. weighty balls continue to rigorously slam into your core as youâre currently in mating press. the compressing weight of satoru melting against you makes you whine.
heâs so warm, and with the way heâs breathing down your neck, babbling how heâs gonna make you the most prettiest mommy in the world makes your cunt throb. âyouâre so pretty like this,â he moans into your neck, his thrusts becoming weak yet again.
globs of cum dribble from your pussy as heâs right between your thighs, his cock springing up. he hisses at the feeling, feeling your arms wrap around his back. satoru groans at the twinge near his extensor muscles that flex.
you gave him scratches that ran all down his back. he pays for your weekly manicures just so you can paint his back with scratches with your pretty acrylics.
his pretty girl.
youâre a stammering mess, plugged all the way up with such creamy thin ropes and your body was already limp. with his dick still delved inside, satoru grabs your chinâpressing another kiss against your lips. you moan, twisting and tangling your balmy hot tongue with his before he presses a hand down on your tummy. you whine in his mouth, skimming your crumped up fingers down his little undercut.
satoru groans at the feeling of your digits toying with the back part of his hair. âs- satoru,â you speak between kisses in short gasps for air. your ankle brushes up and down his back and it makes him grunt - your touch made him weak. â âm so full, fuck.â
âyeah you fuckinâ are, sweetheart,â he licks near your bottom lip.
satoruâs body was so hot against yours, even while he was fully milked out he was still stuffing you full. the sheets were a mess, but he didnât care in the slightest. his cerulean-blue eyes rove down towards your chest before he leans down. you stare at him, pantingâand thatâs when he latches his tongue against your neglected tits.
so perfect,
he makes sure to lather viscous strings of saliva on both of them, including your sensitive perky nipples. âmhm.â he groans, feeling your fingers fish through his white tangled strands. heâs sucking on each of your breasts with the most stupidest pussy drunken grin.
after a few seconds, he removes his spit-slick lips, a string of saliva following before he gazes up at you. with a sly worn out gaze, he cups both of your tits with his hands, giving them a good squeeze. âaw. my girls are gonna be full of milk soon,â and satoru kisses near your chin, your forehead, your cheek, and then finally, your lips.
you return the wet sultry kiss before he abruptly pulls away, holding your chin. âcanât wait to be a daddy, darlin,â he says in a gruff drowsy voice. you watch as he gradually pulls out, moving his head down toward your bare tummy. satoru presses a kiss near your navel before his eyes stare right back up at you.
ânow letâs wait for this pretty âlil bump, hm?â
#â
vegasbaby.#gojo smut#gojo x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader smut#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojou satoru x you#satoru smut#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#satoru x reader#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x reader smut#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#female reader#anime smut#jjk fic#jjk#cw sex mention
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Religion
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x wife!reader
Warnings: mild angst, misogyny, banter, pregnancy, childbirth, oral sex, p in v, fingering, orgasm denial, dry humping, overstimulation, brief lactation kink, breeding kink, manipulation (to get some), some good ol' tying up, slandering of the Gods lol
Author's note: this is the third and final part following And I dream of a grave and A curse for a curse but can be read as a standalone. Just keep in mind that Aemond did not cheat on his wife while in Harrenhal. He used Alys only for her visions.
Word count: 13k. Ye have to suffer for your smut darlin'
MASTERLIST | English is not my first language.
taglist: @multyfangirl @ladystarksneedle @arcielee @darylandbethfanforever9 @zaldritzosrose @alphard-hydraes-blog
Her mother had come to Kingâs Landing three days after she gave birth. Peering through the door, the Princess didnât know if the woman was more surprised to finally see a baby safely tucked between her daughterâs arms or to witness that she was still breathing. She had chosen to believe both.
Since she was a little girl, she had been instructed in what was coming, for her and all the girls like her: how to serve men, how to serve the Realm. She knew pregnancy could be a time of great distress, physical and otherwise, and for her, it turned out to be nothing more than that.
She spent the first moons plagued by sickness, glaring at the Maesters who told her that morning sickness was perfectly normal. It would've been, if only it had lasted the hours the sun was at its highest. Instead, she couldnât keep down her breakfast, just like her lunch, or dinner. She had lost weight, she couldnât stand any kind of smell with the risk of rushing to her pot and empty her stomach.
Then, on one fine morning, while she was walking the gardens with two of her maids, she had suddenly bent over, hissing with pain while clutching her maidâs arm, dreading the trickle running down her thighs.
The Maesters said occasional bleedings might happen, that she only needed to rest and take some tonic to strenghten her body. But that day signaled the end of her peace and the beginning of her confinement.
Because clearly, at the first sign of something going wrong, slipping out of his control, Aemond would panic, albeit showing none of it, standing as tall and stoic as ever and somehow more than heâd ever done now that the Conquerorâs Crown weighted on his head. But she knew better. She knew how to look through all his walls. She knew he was scaredâfor her, for the baby, for his sister, for his whole family. It was simply too much for a single person to carry all of that on their shoulders. And it was precisely for that reason that she didnât object to any of his orders. After all, she couldnât. He was the King now, even if he didnât choose to style himself as such.
Thus, her chambers became her prison.
Cobwebs didnât have time to grow because she was quick enough to point them out to the servants. She was aware of the slight drop in the stone tiles just behind the terrace, as of the strategic point where to linger to gain some cool breeze from the sea. She knew the baby liked to sleep upside down in the early afternoon, occasionally kicking hard as he, or she, settled comfortably in her womb.
Aemond had picked some books for her, mostly about history, having her yawning at the third page. She had tried needle work, putting all her good will into it for the sake of doing something, and she had deliberately chosen to believe she was undeniably good at it. But that was a very generous lie.Â
âWhat is that supposed to be exactly?â Aemond asked one day, peeking over her shoulder as he reached her on the terrace.
She didnât look up, keeping her eyes fixed on her embroidery tambour, working the needle in and out. âIsnât it obvious?â
He leaned down until she felt the long silver strands tickling her head and even without turning, she could feel him grimacing. âA bird?â
At that, she had raised her head, reading all the disbelief on his face. âIt is a dragon. For the cradle.â
Aemond had simply furrowed his brow, unable for the life of him to consider what he saw as something even remotely resembling a dragon. But he thought better than to anger his pregnant wife, given her late sour spirit, but especially in light of how fiercely she had started to stick the needle in, likely picturing to stick it into him instead. He had built the most fake pleasant smile he could master and said âVery well. Excellent work, my love.â
âThank you, husband.â
The trouble was that, as time went by, she only became sourer. She grew more and more uncomfortable, too tight in her own skin. Her back hurt, her breasts hurt, and she was starting to believe she was carrying a real dragon, with fangs and all; she had no other explanation for how hot she constantly felt, forced to lie in a thin white chemise all the time, despite the winds carrying the winter.
But maybe there was another reason why her spirits were so low and sour. She had come to learn that pregnancy affected every aspect of her life, including the most pleasant one.
She would grow wet for a kiss. She would close her legs and rub them together upon seeing him rise from the bathtub. She would moan into his mouth if he so much as grazed her nipples with his knuckles. But as she grew bigger and bigger, along with the discomfort, kisses and some intimate brushing were all she would get from him. Aemond had grown distant, not only with his presence, due to all the duties he had to fulfill wearing the Crown, but even when he was there, in their chambers, sleeping next to her, she felt him leagues and leagues away.
âPregnancy is a very hard time for a woman.â The Dowager Queen had said to her âIt is overwhelming to think that you are never alone and yet...somehow you are.â
Sheâd never understood what her good mother meant until she was confined to her chambers, alone with her thoughts and her fears. She didnât expect Aemond to do something, this was womenâs business. And she knew his reluctance to lie with her rested solely on concern and love for her.
No matter how much he craved to take her, he had decided to put his husbandâs rights away for the delicate final moons until the baby was born. He still felt guilty, for Harrenhal, for the witch, for forsaking her only to get drunk on visions and prophecies. Yet, those visions turned out to be true. He had shut that voice in his head and tried to make amends. But they didnât have the time to mend themselves together, to knit all the distrust and suspicions into something good; the baby was coming, and it seemed he or she did nothing but grow them more apart.Â
He saw how tired she was, how some days she couldnât even get out of bed. And how useless he felt when he would catch her crying, like that night when he found her all alone on the terrace at the hour of the owl.
She was sitting on her chaise filled with cushions when Aemond walked around her. Given the state of his white shirt and hair, he had likely just awakened and hadnât found her beside him.
âWhat are you doing out here? You will catch a cold.â
âI cannot sleep.â she had kept her eyes far, on the Black Water Bay, far from him. But he saw them anyway, her reddened eyes.
âYou cannot stay here in your condition.â He said almost tiredly, but when she didnât even blink at his words, he called her name, with the tone he used in the Throne Room.
âAemond, please.â She whispered, turning her head. âIââ she bit her tongue, unwilling to put this on him, but she knew he wouldnât let go until she was safely back in bed. So, she said âI donât want to hear her.â
It took him less than a moment to understand what she meant. Helaena. Helaena who lost a child, who saw her flesh and blood horribly murdered before her eyes. Helaena who couldnât stop wailing in the dead of night.
She had looked at him, seeing that torn thing, broken and raw like a split wound; shame and guilt and rage all at once. Then, he lowered himself onto his knees until he took her cold hands and squeezed them tight. His mouth opened, but she was faster. âDonât say it.â
You cannot keep such a promise, you cannot keep us safe. No matter how many times you say it. But she wouldnât take that solace away from him, not that plainly. The more he said it, the more he seemed to believe it. So be it.
âIs there anything I can do?â he asked, and there was a beautiful, heartbreaking desperation in his hushed voice. âTell me what to do.â
She had built a convincing smile, running her hand through his loose hair and pushing some strands back. âGo back to sleep. Iâm fine.â
Her spirits during the day would slightly improve. And between the Council and some hearings in the Throne Room, he always saved some time to go visit her in their chambers. She didnât seem to enjoy being watched like a toddler, but deep down she cherished his concern. She cherished the way his hands would gently hold her own, or caress her hair, her belly. She found it hard to believe those hands could bestow such reverence and violence at the same time. And even in his absence, he managed to ensure she always had anything she needed. Even blackberries in early autumn.
âMyra, where have you been?â She asked in a late afternoon, when one of her most loyal maids entered her chambers after disappearing for the whole day.
The young girl had an awful look. She seemed exhausted, as if she had walked the entirety of Flea Bottom, twice. âApologies, my Princess. It took me quite a while to find blackberries.â
âSeven Hells, it is only a craving. You did not have to go all the way through Kingâs Landing to find me blackberries.â
"No, I-I ought to.â
The Princess paused, frowning at the young girl. âDid someone else tell you that you ought to?â
âWellâŠyesâŠâ the maid said, sinking her gaze to the floor âThe Kingâuhm Prince Regent.â
She sighed deeply, and with heavy steps, she walked towards the terrace; her maid was immediately at her side to help her. âWhat did he tell you?â the Princess asked as they reached the chair outside.
The girl waited for her to sit, slowly and awkwardly given her big belly; then, a little timidly, she said âHeâŠordered me to go look for blackberries and not toâŠbother coming back if I didnât find them.â
The Princess rolled her eyes in quite an unlady-like manner, âHow in the name of Seven did he know about it?â She asked, grimacing as she desperately tried to find a comfortable position. âI have barely seen him this morning.â
The young maid helped her, fixing some cushions behind her back and whispered âThe White Cloak at the doorâŠI suspect he reports everything to his Grace.â
The notion didnât seem to strike her that much, or maybe she was too tired, too uncomfortable and too hot to comment on the matter, or even scoff at it.
She grabbed a fan from her maidâs hands and unceremoniously shook her shoes off, placing her swollen feet on the cool tiles. Closing her eyes, she basked in that small relief; the floor was cold, the sun was about to set, and the baby was sleeping.
According to the Maesters, her time was close. She was eager to meet this little person but in truth, she just wanted it to end. She hated having no control over her body, her spirits, her marriage. She missed being a wife and being treated as such, not just as the mother of his child. She had come to think that, deep down, any woman felt that way, but they were forced to hide everything behind a joyful smile while sinking to their knees to thank the Mother. Wasnât that the sole purpose of any girl in the world? To bleed on a birthing bed? Wasnât that the way men measured womenâs value?
She swallowed hard as the question spun in her head. Am I finally worthy of you, Aemond?
She wouldnât dare ask him.Â
âWhat is it? Are you unwell?â
She was too lost in her thoughts to even hear his footsteps on the terrace. As her gaze flew up, she read the deep concern on his face, all lumped in the steep furrow between his eyebrows. He mustâve seen her grimacing, thinking she was in some pain. She was, but she was too much of a coward to tell him.
She resumed her fanning, averting her gaze and stretching her legs out further on the floor. âI feel like Iâm boiling.â
âYes, I can see that.â He deadpanned, raking his eye over her disheveled state; sprawled on that chair with her legs slightly open, her white chemise all crumpled and unbuttoned, and a bead of sweat on the forehead, in the crevice of her swollen breasts. He thought the times when a mere look at this woman would make him hard were gone once the novelty of having a wife, someone rightly and thoroughly his, had dissipated. He was wrong.
âIâm well aware of my lack of decency.â She replied, seeing how he was staring, the little inquiring curve in his eyebrow. âIâm afraid I care very little about decency at this moment. Blame it on your son.â
His lips curled up, watching her gather her loose hair with one hand while she kept fanning herself quickly with the other.
âAre you still inclined to believe for certain that itâs a boy?â
âI know itâs a boy. Only men can be this insufferable.â
That little smile on his lips lingered, deepened, and then he moved, going to stand behind her. âLet me.â He said, and took her hair between his hands. She couldnât see what he was doing but got the gist as she felt his deft fingers moving and her neck free to get some air. When he walked around the chaise to sit beside her, she saw that his hair was loose. He had tied her hair with the black lace he always wore to prevent the silver strands from ending up in front of his eye.
She loved to see him like this: hair loose, eyepatch lost somewhere in a drawer, sitting next to her, even without saying a word. The sapphire seemed to match his eye, glowing a soft violet under the setting sun. She felt that familiar lump in her throat, as she stared at him, a restless thing flowing through her whole body, demanding to be released only to be trapped under her teeth, biting down her lower lip, starved and yearning.
âA little bird told me you put a hound on my trail.â she said at one point, shutting her little fan.
Aemond didnât look surprised to acknowledge that she knew. He had actually ventured with himself about how long it would have taken her to realise he was spying on her every move.
âYou are well aware of my duties now.â He said, turning his head to look at her. But not quite. His eye seemed to linger everywhere at once, fleeting, snatching a look here and there, her legs, her sweated neck, her bellyâŠhis own testament, as if she wasnât one already.
You left your mark on her just as she did on you. Those were Alysâ words, at which he had ugly sneered. And she had laughed at the sight, eerily, as someone who owned the truth. Iâm your spoil of war and yet, you speak to me ten paces away. What are you afraid of, Kinslayer? That your skin would burn like brimstone if you touched another woman?
âBesides,â he resumes âany lady would be flattered by her husbandâs genuine concern.â
âYou could flatter me in different ways.â was her prompt answer and she moved incredibly fast, given her impediment, getting close to him until she filled his nostrils. She smelled different since she was pregnant. A thick smell, musky. She tasted differently. Sweeter and somehow sourer. He swallowed at the mere memory. âWe have talked about this.â
âAnd Iâve talked to the Maesters.â
His head spun around, forcing her to stifle a smile at his ever strictly reserved nature.
âThey said thereâs nothing wrong, or remotely dangerous, if weâŠengage in our conjugal duties.â
He tried to ignore her hand, her fingers traveling up his arm like a spiderâs legs. âDid you need the Maesters to learn that?â
âNo, but you do. You hang on their lipsâŠI wish you hung on mine.â
Aemond heard her voice dropping a tone, and dropped his chin down, looking at her hand roving on his chest, shamelessly slipping beneath his dark green doublet, skin to skin. She glided on his planes slowly, making sure to trap one of his nipples in the little hollow between her index and middle.
âI donât need them to know about my private matters.â He said mindlessly, trying to hold a grip on his thoughts.
âSeven Hells. It baffles me to witness how prudish you desperately want to appear while I perfectly know how debauched you really are, to the bone.â
âMy debauchery is confined to these four walls.â
âOh, is it? What about that time on our way to the Grand Sept?â She tilted her head, so she was talking almost in his ear. âDo you remember?â
Her hand on his chest was burning, or was it his own skin? His own flesh simmering wherever she touched him.
âDonât do that.â She whispered when she saw his long legs cross. âLet me see. You have condemned me to do nothing else.â
His eye chased her hand as she grabbed his knee and pushed to uncross his legs, so that she could see, the outline of his cock through the breeches, see how he ached for her. âDo you remember what you did in the wheelhouse?â She asked again, looking at him; the sapphire was the only thing flashing violet now. His eye was pitch black.
âYou put your hand beneath my gownsâŠâ she said and her hand slid up against his thigh âyou grabbed me, harshly.â And she did the same, forcing his mouth open and a shallow breath out of his throat. âAnd you grinnedâŠbecause my garments were soaked.â he closed his eye for a moment, perhaps recalling, or maybe because her hand was moving, palming all his length through the breeches.
âAnd then you slipped your fingers underneathâŠâ and again, she did just so, unbuckling his belt and sinking her hand in. He opened his eye, and basked in what he saw: that sort of silent, desperate plea in the little wrinkle between her eyebrows, in her heaving chest, in the way she was rubbing her legs together.
Thus, just when she was about to grab him, he grabbed her wrist instead and crashed his mouth against hers with a low growling sound. She could do nothing but moan, giving him open room to slip his tongue in and taste every corner, driving his body closer and closer, but not too much as to crush her.
She, on the other hand, felt free, finally, to roam, to rummage. Her hands grabbed and pulled everywhere, at his doublet, the collar, the buttons, the thin white shirt underneath it all, until everything was loose, and she was free to touch him, all the while making the sweetest wanton sounds, close to desperate whines. âPlease, AemondâŠâ she begged freely, holding his face âjust this onceâŠpleaseâŠâ
He shushed her with another harsh kiss and with a free hand, he clutched her white nightgown into his fist, pulling up, enough to stick his arm between her legs. She spread them for him, panting with anticipation, and stopped breathing altogether when he cupped her core with the large palm of his hand. Aemond trapped her lower lip with his teeth, biting softly upon feeling how wet she was, dripping on his fingers, so much that he wished to fall on his knees and wipe it clean with his tongue.
âPleaseâŠâ she breathed, barely rocking her hips to urge him to touch her.
âHush.â he said, and curled his fingers, brushing his fingertips against her centre, gaining a delicious wince from her. âTell me of the wheelhouse.â
She smiled breathlessly, her eyes hungry and heavy, full of lust. âIt was the first time I wore green.â she started to tell. âWe were still betrothed. I wanted to impress you.â
âHmm. You certainly did.â He remarked, watching her closely while rubbing his index pad against her entrance, teasingly, making her squirm. âGo on.â
She felt like burning, her face hot for the sun, the baby, the ache in her lower belly, stirring and coiling. âYou told the White Cloak to take another roundâŠâ she said, breathing with her mouth open. âYou grabbed my waist and forced me on your lap.â
âAnd you pushed me away. Twice.â heâd laughed, flashing a grin that made her willing to shove him away, to pull him closer. âWhat a farse you put on.â he continued, leaving a chaste kiss on her neck that resulted in her writhing some more, pushing her pelvis against his hand. âI had to cover your mouth for your mewling. You were so fucking loud.â
It was then that he finally granted her some mercy, slipping one finger inside her drenched lips, spilling a long gasp from her.
âNo. Not quite.â He observed cruelly and slid another finger, this time gaining a proper loud moan. âThatâs more like it.â
His two fingers started to pump slowly, and yet she was making the lewdest sounds heâd ever spilled from her, arching her back as far as she could, scrunching her face almost in pain and pulling at his collar, twisting, as if he were torturing her instead of giving her pleasure. She made his cock stir painfully, his teeth grind for the ache, for the fact that she was coating his whole hand. âEasy nowâŠâ he warned her, his tone all husky. âYou donât want to come already, do you? âTis the only thing youâll get from me, sweetlingâŠyou better make it last.âÂ
She whined in annoyance, forcing another grin on his ruthless lips, and with that same ruthlessness, he slowed his ministrations, only to cup one of her breasts with his free hand, squeezing softly until the thin, silky fabric slipped down, revealing her pink, swollen nipple. âI must sayâŠIâm relieved you will summon a wet nurseâŠso these will be all mine.â
She had to stifle a breathless laugh at that. âBeing jealous of your child is a bit too much, even for youâŠâ
âOh, my loveâ he crooned, freeing the other breast âI am jealous of the clothes on your skin.â
Wasting no time, he wrapped his lips around her nipple, causing her to arch against him once more, one hand flying down his shoulder, fisting his doublet, twisting it as he swirled his tongue and hummed with delight dripping from his tone, as if he were tasting honey, and the sweetest ever made.
His fingers resumed their frantic rhythm, sinking deep inside and stretching, hitting that special spot that made her sight go black, reduced to a mess of sweat coating every inch of her skin and a string of moans growing hoarse and high-pitched.
âAre you close? Hmm?â he rasped âHow about another? Can you take another for me?â
He slipped a third finger in, causing her to wince and cling to his shoulders with her mouth open in a silent scream. âGood girl.â He praised at the sight. He wished he could savor it for a little longer, he wished to keep doing that again and again, until the sun went down and rose again, until there was nothing but ruin around them.
But she was so close now, he could feel it in her tensed arms around his shoulders, in her clenching walls around his hand, and quite frankly, the ache in his breeches was unbearable, twitching at every moan and squelching sound of his fingers inside her flesh.Â
She came loudly, curling her ankles on the ground and writhing in his hold as if in a delirium. He kept her still, his hand buried inside her, feeling the quick pulsing that rivaled the one in her heart. And he watched her, gasping for air and throwing her head back, utterly spent, hair all sticked to her forehead. In his eye she had never looked this beautiful.
He pulled his fingers out, making her wince slightly, and brought them to her mouth, smearing her spent desire on her own lips, like the final touch to a painting. And then he kissed her, humming at her bittersweet taste. He held her face gently, grabbing her jaw and angling her head to taste her better, eliciting a blissful sigh from the back of her throat that made his hardness throb. As if she had felt that, her hand had slipped between them with purpose, sinking past all his layers and taking hold of him.
She rejoiced in the little whimper he gave her, and started to work her hand up and down, making it impossible for him to kiss her any further, if not for a sloppy and panting mess of spit and teeth.Â
Given the unbearable pressure building past his navel, he knew he wouldnât last long. And she knew that too. But she didnât want to have him this way. Awkwardly, she stood up and spread his legs to make herself some room, but as soon as Aemond, despite the lack of blood in his mind, caught her intentions, he stopped her, grabbing her arms firmly.
âNoâŠâ he croaked. âNot on your knees.â
She couldnât help the little surprise on her face. Aemond had never been this considerate, especially in bed. He could be gentle in his own way, subtly. Little hidden things in the way he would run his fingers through her hair once she had reached her peak, the way he would regain air once heâd spilled inside her, breathing into her neck and running his lips lazily against her skin. But most of the times, he was very diligent, all focused in giving her and himself the pleasure they both craved; he was somehow harsh, ruthless, a mirror of who he was outside the bedroom, possessed by some kind of urgency that would break her in the most beautiful and cruel way and put her back together at once.
But then again, she imagined the promise of his heir living inside her was affecting even one of the most ruthless of men.
She sat down again and watched him stand up, his breath labored and open-mouthed as he looked down at her, working the few laces of his breeches still tied. She didnât need an invitation, an order, a mere tilt of his chin to sit upright and put her hands alongside his snatched waist.
She looked up, and he found himself swallowing hard, cursing silently at the sight of her looking straight into his eye with his cock a breath away from her, all hard and glistening on the tip. Shamefully, he thought that would have done it for him.
A coarse grunt left his lips as soon as she wrapped her mouth around it, teasingly swirling her tongue on the slit without ever averting her gaze from him. He hissed painfully when her lips started to travel along his length, trying with all his might to hold back and not spill into her mouth so soon.
She, on the other hand, seemed eager to watch him come undone, just as he had done to her a few moments earlier. She started to suck him eagerly, like a starved creature, because on all those nights and days when he had taken her apart, learning every inch of her and how to bend it to his will, she had done just the same.
She knew how to make him wince and moan openly, while on her knees on their bedroom floor or on a fucking terrace during a late afternoon, with likely anyone to walk on them at any moment. With the Gods watching.
She didn't care. The Gods didn't care for them anyway. Let them see to whom she fell to her knees.
He couldnât stop looking, how pretty she was like this, swallowing him whole, up to the hilt, hitting her throat with a gagging sound. So lecherous, so holy.
He was so close he had to bite his lip to restrain himself, letting out a string of curses until he felt the pressure growing stronger, and then, he thought, he might as well have it his way.
âStopâŠâ he croaked, grabbing her cheek but delicately, slipping out of her mouth and running his thumb over her sore jaw. She closed her slicked mouth, a drop of spit running down her chin and she looked at him, with such devotion he thought he had nothing to envy the Gods.
âLet meâŠâ he pleaded, wiping her chin clean with his finger. âLet me fuck your mouth, sweetling. Would you?â
A question that needed no answer. Indeed, he wasted no time and grabbed the back of her head, tilting it slightly up for a better angle. He sheathed himself all the way in, gasping deeply at feeling the hot walls of her mouth, her cheeks hollowing.
His fingers curled into her hair, but never in a hurtful way, enough to keep her still as he started to move his hips against her face back and forth, his open mouth quivering as the pleasure began to build where it left off.
âFuckââ he cursed once, and then twice, fucking her mouth faster to chase his peak, pulling ever so slightly at her scalp until he went still altogether, pushed his waist hard against her, and grunted loudly, in a pretty uncharacteristic way, as his cock twitched and spilled down her throat until the last drop.
Panting harshly, he pulled himself out and watched her close her mouth, eyes fixed on him, working her cheeks and making no mystery of the white essence on her tongue before swallowing it, thoroughly.
Aemond let himself fall on that chaise and she watched, she drank that sight: his hair all disheveled and damp with sweat, a shade of pink on his cutting cheekbones as he slowly pulled himself together, breathing through his open mouth while buckling his belt and breeches.
âI think Iâm going to take a bath.â She said at one point, clumsily standing up. He had mumbled something in return, still caught in the throes of what they had done, but before she got back inside, she turned and said âOh, just so you knowâŠall of this was a ploy.â
She smiled cunningly at his frowning. âI never had any cravings. And I knew about the White Cloak at the door since the first day you put him there. You are not as subtle as you think you are, my love.â
A man of few words, but loud actions.
Her pains came during a peaceful afternoon.
In haste, nursemaids began their frantic rounds in and out of the Princessâ rooms like soldiers, carrying hot water and boiled rags. The Dowager Queen abandoned her perch beside Queen Helaena, or what was left of her, and went to assist the Princess. Having borne four children, she had quite a bit of advice to dispense, things she had learned on her own skin, things that any Master would never have told her because oblivious and convinced they knew what happened to a woman's body at such a delicate time based on how deep they had buried their nose in an old dusty tome.
Alicent helped the Princess rise from the bed, clutched her arm firmly and helped her walk. She said it was vital to walk, that it would ease her pain and help the baby come sooner. She told her to squat when the pain hit. She rubbed her back and wiped the sweat off her face as if she were her own daughter. It felt like that. Even though the Princess seemed to face it all with a stiff lip, Alicent could see that she was scared and in terrible pain, that she probably wished for her mother to be there. She had wished the same, no matter how many times she had faced it.
âYour Grace?â The Princess asked after another wave of pain had come and gone.
âYes, child?â
âDo you think your son would forgive me If I said this one is both the first and the last?â
The Queen had smiled at that. âIf the Gods bless you with more children, it will be easier, I can assure you. The first time is always rough. But it shouldnât be long now.â
Well, her good mother turned out to be wrong. Because the pain plagued her for a full night, giving her no peace. At the hour of the nightingale, the nursemaids forced her to bed, and she gladly went. She was exhausted, she could no longer walk without hissing at every step, and by that time she was so used to the pain she no longer whined or anything, only scrunched her face and ground her teeth.
The servants stripped her bare and replaced her sweat-soaked nightgown with a fresh one. They dabbed her face with a wet cloth, but she could barely register anything, floating into unconsciousness only to be brought back to the present as another pain choked her breath.
âPerhaps some Milk of the Poppy?â One of the nurses said at one point.
âNo.â the Maester said. âShe may need to start pushing any moment now. We need her vigil.â
Her heavy-lidded eyes opened, wandering helplessly around the room. Useless research, for she knew he wouldnât be there. She didnât expect him to be. The birthing bed was no place for men, save for the Maesters, although she was starting to doubt their real usefulness when all they could do was pull her nightgown up, take a close look and shake their heads. They might as well let Aemond be there.
She imagined he mustâve been waiting outside, or in the Council, and yet she ached to see him. She closed her eyes and searched for him in her mind, clutching the sheets in her fist as if she could clutch his hand instead. And then she felt someoneâs hand closing around her own, loosening her grip. Alicent, smiling down at her, and holding her hand tight.
It was holding her good motherâs hand that, at the first light of dawn, she gave birth to her child. A boy, healthy and all screeching as soon as he was out of her womb, clad in blood and grease.
Aemond had decided to name the child Aenar, if it was a boy, after the first Targaryen Lord, and she couldnât quite believe her eyes or force her tears back when he was finally admitted to their chambers and took their son in his arms for the first time.Â
Alicent was beaming at the sight, squeezing his arm. âCongratulations, my son.â
But Aemond didnât seem to even register her motherâs words, or presence, utterly enraptured by his little creature. He cast a look at his wife, a secret little look that told her how proud he was of her, how relieving it was for both to have come this far after all that happened, to have this little thing, this little ounce of peace amidst all the chaos of war.
What she didnât know at that time was that Aenar was not exactly a peaceful child.
She had believed there had finally come the time when she could be herself again. But from the earliest days, Aenar proved not to be an easy child to deal with. The newborn cried and cried for hours, plagued by belly aches, and seemingly able to calm down only when in his motherâs arms. They had obviously called on a wet nurse; highborn ladies did not feed their children themselves, let alone a Princess. But Aenar had categorically refused to latch onto his wet nurseâs breasts. Alicent had proposed to summon another one, but as they dawdled and wavered, the Princess felt her heart break into pieces each time she held her little baby in her arms, all red in the face, hungry and in pain, turning his head towards her cleavage, desperate for her milk. Thus, she had put aside ceremonial court and all of that and chose to feed him herself.
But it was a strenuous task. The Maesters had warned her it would be tiring, sleep depriving, but she really had no choice. She had to do it every three hours, sometimes less, because being latched onto her breast seemed the only thing that would prevent the baby from screaming at the top of his lungs all day long. The nursemaid had recommended fennel and chamomile for belly aches. And, instantly, Aemond had ordered an astounding amount of both to be delivered to the Red Keepâs kitchens.
Queen Alicent taught her to hold the baby on his stomach, to rock him, but not too fast. They told her to take several breaks during breastfeeding, to make the baby belch often and prevent air from his belly. In the first week after Aenar was born, her mind was all but a vessel of do this, do that. No, not this way. Donât ever wake the baby when heâs sleeping. Try to sleep when he does. Donât eat spicy dishes.
In the midst of all of this, Aemond turned more and more suffocating in all his well-hidden, self-consuming concern. A handful of white cloaks, the most trusted by Ser Criston, were constantly guarding the door, day and night. He had a secret passageway that led to his rooms walled up, and she could swear he slept with his dagger beneath the pillow. Evidently not at peace with such extreme measures, he had the cradle moved to his side of the bed, within his reach, so that every time she had to wake up because the baby was wailing, she had to walk around the bed and pray that she would not tumble to the floor in the dark.
However, she was at least grateful to have Aemondâs support, for the little he could do. If he wasnât occupied with warfare or hearings, he spent all the time he had with her and their child. And in those moments, no matter how exhausted she was, she would always find the strength to smile at the view when he held their baby, tracing his long fingers over the velvety grizzled skin of Aenarâs small hands; even when heâd speak to him in Valyrian, at which she had frowned at first.
âYou do realise heâs one week old?â
ââTis never too soon.â
âMh. Whatâs next? Bring him to the skies on dragonback?â
âIâll have you know Vhagar is perfectly safe toââ
âOver my dead body.âÂ
He had smiled and stood up, going to place the baby in her arms. Aenar immediately began to fuss, whining and turning his head against her chest. She had started to unbutton her chemise but then stopped, looking up, where Aemond stood still like a sentry, and watching.
She raised an eyebrow. âAm I putting up a show?â
âUsually, you do.â He drawled. âAm I not allowed to watch? It seems my son and I already share a few interests.â
She looked away, smiling, and then she freed her left breast, watching as the baby immediately latched onto it. A moment later, Aemond took her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him. He stared at her, and she saw that familiar glint his eye.
He trailed his thumb over her lip, barely breaching inside. âSoon?â was all he asked.
âSoon.â Was all she answered.
The soreness and the bleeding were reducing, and she was back in her tight flesh.
But the Gods must have cursed them some more, because that âsoonâ never seemed to become ânowâ.
The sickness didnât seem willing to leave the poor child alone, along with his parents and the entirety of the Red Keep who had to suffer through his heartbreaking cries day and night.
The Princess had started to feel hopeless and guilty, no matter how many times the nursemaids, and even Queen Alicent, told her it was not her fault, that it was natural. No matter how many times she tried to convince herself they were right. Her heart broke any time the baby cried, wriggling desperately in her arms, in Aemondâs, in the cradle. She would end up crying too as she tried to soothe him, caressing his back with her cheek resting on his timidly silver-haired head.
She was working herself up to exhaustion, often falling asleep with the baby still latched onto her breast. It was Aemond who would take the baby to the cradle, it was Aemond who would button her chemise and pull up the blankets.
She hit rock bottom two weeks after Aenarâs birth, when she realised she hadnât bathed in four days. Even Aemond, she could swear, was starting to look a little ragged around the edges. You donât want to be King and take decisions in the middle of a war only to come back to a screaming infant at night.
But then, like a curse lifting, the sickness stopped. Amidst all those days she had stopped counting or even being aware of which was which, Aenar stopped crying. She was ashamed to admit that the first night he slept peacefully in his cradle, she had gone to check on him five times, to see if he was still breathing.Â
She began to gradually return to her former self, able to enjoy motherhood with a more rested mind, at least. Physically, she still felt worn out, given how much time she spent breastfeeding or rocking the baby to sleep. But now she was strong enough to take the baby out, walking the gardens with her maids and smiling proudly as the court ladies stopped to congratulate themselves and say how beautiful her baby was.
By doing this, though, she also became aware that she had lived in a bubble for so long that she had almost forgotten there was a war raging, there were battles being fought across the realm.
Reality hits her one day when Alicent goes to visit her and her grandson, bringing the news of a very important victory near the Honeywine, a large river flowing in the Reach, thanks to Prince Daeron Targaryen who had arrived all victorious on that very morning, riding his blue scaled dragon, Tessarion.
The news stuns her for a moment. She had no idea of it, partly because she had been too caught up with Aenar, but also because Aemond had not told her. Yet her family came from the Reach, they lived there, not very far from the Honeywine; her older brother fought for the Green Army. Still, not a word from Aemond.
Taking advantage of Aenar sleeping and the fact that Alicent offered to watch him, she leaves her chambers and heads for the Council. Thereâs a bustle of lords coming out of the door when she gets there, barely paying her any attention as they hastily babble about armies and supplies and men; always more men to be sent to slaughter.
She stops at the door, widening her eyes at the silver head crossing the threshold, one she hadnât seen in a long time. âPrince Daeron.â
The youngest son of Queen Alicent and late King Viserys was nothing but a boy. But war had taken its toll on him too. He stood like a man, a Prince, and more than anything, a skilled dragon rider.
âPrincess.â He says, tilting his chin down.
She curtsies and sees an immediate gentle smile softening his Valyrian features. âI believe some congratulations are in order.â
âWell, in all fairness, you shall be the most celebrated, my Prince. Iâve just heard of your recent victory.â
His gentle smile lingers, but loses its sparkle. âI must say I much prefer to celebrate lifeâŠrather thanâŠthe death of innocent men and women.â
There canât be objections to such a statement; she just nods and casts a distracted glance inside the Council.
âPleaseâŠâ the Prince says then, making room to let her pass âI wonât keep you away from my brother.â
She turns her head and smiles, tightly. âIâm afraid it is your brother who keeps himself away from me.â
âHeavy is the head that wears the Crown.â
âIndeed.â
The Prince bows to her and leaves.
Closing the door behind her, she glances at Aemond sitting at the head of the table, in the Kingâs chair, with such effortlessness that he seems to have been born exclusively for that purpose.
âI thought I heard you.â he says absent-mindedly, scribbling down a small piece of parchment. She slowly walks to the windows, casting a single furtive glance down, but she canât possibly make out what heâs writing, or to whom.
âHowâsâ"
âAenar is fine.â She cuts him off. âHeâs with your mother, sleeping.â
He stops scribbling, glancing up for a moment. Her voice is tight, cutting. He knows that tone. Itâs the same one she used in Harrenhal, as if he should have fallen to his knees and be grateful for the mere fact that she was speaking to him. But he doesnât have time today to circle around her like a coiling snake, so he goes straight to the point. âIs something the matter?â
âYou didnât tell me of the Honeywine.â She says after a moment, gazing at the Bay.
Aemond sighes, a sign that he was expecting such a question. âYou were looking after our son.â
âAnd?â sheâs quick to rebut, quick to reach him at the table and stare down at him. âYou didnât deem it appropriate to inform me of a battle raging in my family lands?â
âI am your family.â He says, stoically, as if common law, and she has to stifle a bitter laugh. The nerve of him. âThat is a very lovely concept. Strange how it got lost on you in Harrenhal.â
âEnough!â he barks, and the sudden harshness makes the quill pierce through parchment. âI thought Iâd made myself clear.â He warns. âI donât want to hear another word about the witch. Ever.â
She obediently looks down, regretting having said that, but not entirely. Perhaps she has spent so much time beside him that she, too, canât let go of her grudges.
âI did not tell you, for I did not want to upset you.â He says, resuming his collected tone. âYou were worn out by the baby, I didnât want to put more weight on your shoulders.â
She knows heâs sincere. Still, her nod is stiff as she looks away, biting her cheek. She is just so sick of it all. Of being regarded as a cunt to be bred at first and now a weakling nailed to a cradle with an infant sucking the life out of her. She knows sheâs not the first, and she wonât be the last.
Aemond leaves the quill and stands up, circling until heâs close to her. âYour family is fine.â He tells her, lingering behind her. âDaeron spoke to your brother this morning.â
She keeps nodding, keeping her gaze down on the table, all scattered with maps and little dragon-shaped tokens, some black, some green. She frowns, letting warfare soothe her petty spirits. âWhat is this?â
âOur next move. A defense planâŠwhich happens to be an attack plan too.â
âA pincher?â
She turns just in time to see the little surprise on his face. âMy brother talked of nothing else when we were children. He slept with warfare books as pillows.â
âHmm.â He muses, and takes a step closer, slipping his arm around her waist and resting his chin on her collarbone. âShow me.â
She shudders at his sudden proximity, at his breath blowing on her neck. She shudders at anything these days. A hand on her back, his legs fumbling beneath the covers and casually brushing against hers. Sheâs tight as a fiddle string.
âA pincher is nothing else but a decoy.â She explains. âYou let your enemy believe they have you trappedâŠâ and in saying this, she grabs his hand and moves it across the map. âAnd thenâŠat the right momentâŠâ she makes him hold a green token between his fingers and brings it near a little division of black ones âyou strike on both flanks.â And with a swift flick of her wrist, his hand scatters all the black tokens across the table. To do so, she must lean over the table, accidentally brushing her lower back against his bulge. Heâs not hard, yet, but it thrills her to feel the lightning quick effect she has on him.
âHmm. Good. Very good.â He praises next to her ear as she withdraws her hand; his voice is so low it makes her spine shiver. But she keeps herself grounded and asks âWhen will this happen?â
âSoon.â he whispers, placing his hand flat on her stomach. âThereâs another Small Council shortly but Aegon wanted to be present. They went to fetch him.â
âWell, then I shall retire to my chambers. I feel a bit lightheaded from all the thinking.â
He ignores her jab and keeps her still by the arm when she tries to move. Thereâs a little sly smirk pulling at his lips. âI have some time to spare.â
âAnd how do you propose we spend it?â
âEnough with your pantomimes. I can feel your legs squirming.â
Curse him.
He slips the other hand straight into her corset, cupping her breast and humming with delight at how full she is, how it fills his large hand entirely. âAre you wet for me, my love?â
His teeth sink down her lobe, and at the same time, he pinches her nipple between his thumb and index, forcing an indecorous whine out of her. âMy, myâŠâ he laughs darkly, torturing her sensitive skin until he feels something wet on his fingertips, probably milk. âI could make you come just by doing this.â
Powerless, she yields, leaning completely against him, rubbing her lower back for some friction. âWhat if someone enters?â
âWeâll make it quick.â
âBut I donât want it to be quick.â She pants, grabbing his hand on her breast and squeezing; the other crawls behind her back to try to feel him through his breeches.Â
Hissing, when she starts to palm him, he says âThen we let them watch. They get to see how pretty you look when you come on my fingers, or my cock. Which should it be?â
âBoth. Anything.â She answers hastily, pulling at his collar to bring him close enough to kiss him. He hums contentedly when she does, twirling his tongue around hers. It soon gets messy, each of them fighting for dominance, winning and losing in turn, until he spins her around, so he can look at her and with both his hands, he seizes her gowns and pulls up, furiously rummaging through them.
âHow many fucking layers have you on?â
âIâm not pregnant anymore.â she points out, unbuckling his belt.
âPity. Perhaps I should fuck another one into you to keep you in your skimpy robes.â
âDonât you dare, AemondââÂ
âGods be good, brother! That eager to make another one?â
They both startle like little children caught doing something naughty, turning their heads towards the door, where two servants are carrying King Aegon on a chair. Aemond sighs annoyingly, letting go of her gowns as she does with his belt, trying to compose herself.
âMy King.â She says, greeting her good brother with a tight little smile.
Aegonâs appearance has improved since Rookâs Rest, just as the burnings, but he carries with him the smell of Milk of the Poppy and rotting skin everywhere he goes.Â
âGood-sister. What are you doing here? Apart from being ravished by my brother... should you not be breastfeeding?â
Aemond gives him a level stare and then looks at her, hoping she will not take the bait. Aegon and his wife never got along well, to say the least. Things had only escalated with time, to the point that whenever they found themselves in the same room, one of them would wisely leave, his wife most of the times, lest they start to hiss at each other like two cats fighting for territory.
âWhat if I intend to stay and attend the council?â
Aegon giggles, as the servants put down the chair, and after a quick glance below her neck he says âIâm afraid you would be a little distracting. And my brother is not one for sharing.â
Before she can ask what in the Seven he is blabbing about, Aemond takes her arm and makes her turn, shielding her from his brother and the Lords coming through the door.
âYou should retire.â He curtly says.
âAre you taking his side again?â she asks, wriggling her arm to free herself from his hold.
âYouâre leaking.â He informs her, flatly.Â
At that, she frowns and dips her chin down, watching the front of her dress practically soaked in milk. âOh.â
âI shall join you when Iâm done here.â He tells her, and lets her out through the side doors.
Aemond did not join her.
The council lasted until the evening, a recurring thing when Aegon attended. Aemond was stern and concise in his decisions. Aegon liked to laze around, enjoying the wine in his cup, rattling his younger brotherâs nerves. Deep down, she was convinced that Aegon did not really want to attend the Council because really interested in what to do, but only to remind his brother that he was still breathing and that the Conqueror's Crown on Aemond's head was a temporary measure.
But it didnât matter. She would join him for the banquet in honor of Prince Daeron.
She was thrilled to go. It was not a proper feast. Since Helaena had fallen into grief, the atmosphere within the walls of the Keep had become rather austere. But a banquet still meant an occasion for conviviality, and after weeks and weeks spent locked up within four walls, the Princess was eager to spend some time outside her chambers. She had felt like a terrible mother at the mere thought. She loved Aenar, how could she not? But she also loved herself, her family, her marriage, Aemond. Especially Aemond.
Once she had put the baby to sleep, she had ordered her maid to prepare one of her favorite dresses, a green one, and to tie her hair in an elegant braided bun. When she had looked in the mirror, she had almost grunted. The scarce and troubled hours of sleep were all evident in the dark circles under her eyes, but it was nothing a little egg-white couldn't temper.
When she arrived at the banquet, Aemond was already there, standing in his usual soldierly stance, intent on talking to his mother. She approached them from the side, Aemond's blind side precisely, so that when she announced herself, he had to turn his shoulder to look at her. He cast a glance at her hair, ran his eye over her entire figure. She wasnât expecting any kind of sappy words, and certainly not in front of his mother, nor did she desire them. She could feast on that look alone.
Queen Alicent excused herself to give order about the banquet, and they were left alone, while some musicians gathered in a corner of the hall.
âYou said you would join me. I thought they abducted you.â
âMore or less.â
âAh. Yes, I'm sure it must have been so hard for you to listen to the lords snapping like little soldiers at your command.â
âIt pains me to acknowledge how little you know me, when you think I'd rather talk war with those wimps who can't even hold a sword than fuck my wife till dawn.â
âThat was your plan?â
âWe have some unfinished business, donât we? And donât play dumb. Youâre wearing green. Youâre not as subtle as you think you are either.â
âGood. Iâm sick of subtleties. So, are you going to ask me to dance?â
Aemond rolled his eye and gave her a stare that told her heâd preferred to walk barefoot on lava.
âStill not fond of dancing, eh?â
Prince Daeron suddenly appeared between them, with his cheerful manner and his head of silver curls, dressed in dark green just like his older brother. âStrange. You were the only one listening to the lessons when we were children.â
âYes, because you and Aegon acted as court jesters the whole time.â
âIâll have you know, brother, I have refined my dancing skills in Oldtown. SoâŠmay I dance with my good sister?â
Aemond gave him a simple nod, and Daeron bowed to her gallantly, raising his palm up.
She kindly accepted the invitation and placed her hand on his. âDonât sulk too much.â She whispered to her husband before following his brother.
Aemond watched closely as they started to dance, stealing all the attention, and despite that little primitive tug at the sight of his woman dancing with another man, even though that was his brother and there was absolutely nothing malicious in his or her intentions, he was glad to see her like this, spinning and twisting around instead of lying still in the cold with dread eating her alive.
When the dance ended, Daeron escorted the Princess back to Aemond and took his leave. âRemind me again,â she asked as she watched the young Prince leave âHow is it that your brother is still unmarried?â
Aemond sighed deeply and took her arm to escort her to the table. âIâd give you one week before youâd get bored of him.â
While they waited for dinner, the lords and ladies of the court were obviously very eager to hear Prince Daeron. Alicent in the first place, after so much despair, and after being separated from her youngest son for years, seemed to smile with her eyes every time she heard him speak.
âHear, hear!â one of the lords cheered after listening to Prince Daeronâs retelling of the Battle of the Honeywine. âA brave soldier and a brave dragon rider! I propose a toast.â
At once, everybody stood up, raising their glasses. âTo Prince Daeron, to House Targaryen!â
âAnd to House Hightower.â The Prince proudly stated, raising his glass towards his mother.
As they sat back, the Queen ordered the servants to serve the dinner. The table was gradually filled with a great variety of dishes, many of them Prince Daeron's favourites, specifically ordered by his mother to make him feel at home. It had been weeks and weeks since such a banquet had been seen at King's Landing. Prince Daeron seemed very pleased and grateful, as did all those present who watched the rich dishes crowd the table, and lastly, the huge tray of fresh fruit that a servant laid in the middle.
âI canât quite believe my eyes. Blackberries? This far in the season?â said Lady Bracken.
âIâm afraid that is entirely my fault.â The Princess chirped, catching Aemondâs attention from across the table.
âI had a sudden craving, while I was carrying Aenar.â
âI had one too with my first.â Lady Redwyne joined in. âPlums, specifically.â
âDid you find them agreeable, Princess?â
âOh, very much indeed.â She stated, casting an innocent glance around, but lingering for just a moment longer on her husband. âI devoured so manyâŠI still feel the taste on my tongue.â
Devious woman, he thought, fighting back his cursed smirk. He had half a mind to excuse themselves and retire to their chambers, if he managed to endure it all the way and not take her in the middle of a hallway.
She seemed able to read his mind, judging by the way she was looking at him, unfurling a napkin on her lap. He knew her well enough to foresee when she was in a teasing spirit, and he was all in for it.
But then, just when they were about to start eating, her trusted maid came in, going straight to the Princess. âApologies your Grace.â she said to her ear âbut the Princeling is awake.â
Aemond saw the concern instantly widening her eyes and then a shadow passing over her face. âYesâŠâ she said, and stood up talking to all the present. âMy apologies. I must retire.â
âSee?â said Lady Bracken as Aemond watched his wife leave the hall. âThis is why I refused to breastfeed. No matter how my second would screamâŠâ
By the time she had done breastfeeding, her chest hurt so much that the maid had to place some rags soaked in cold water directly on her nipples; the instant relief had made the Princess close her eyes and almost moan. She had planned to go back to the banquet as soon as Aenar had had his fill but as she gained relief by pressing those wet rags to her breasts, she realised her son wouldnât let her get away that easily.
As soon as the maid had taken him, trying to put him to sleep, he had begun to fuss and wriggle, whining in what she knew would soon turn into a high-pitched, deaf inducing crying.
Perhaps heâs cursed too. She had thought exhaustingly, promptly kissing his silver little head.
She gave up on her plan to go back to the banquet and rocked the baby herself, pacing before the windows while whispering sweet soothing words.
As soon as he had dozed off, she put him in his crib and absent-mindedly grabbed a book from Aemond's desk, lazily leafing through it while rocking the cradle with the other hand.
Aemond finds her like this when he opens the door on his way back from the banquet. She looks up from the page and sees him striding purposefully towards her, snatching the little book in her hands and throwing it on the bed.
Sheâs shocked, to say the least. One might say he treats books far better than his subjects.
âWhatââ she tries to say but he takes her hand and pulls, forcing her to stand up and follow his steady gait.
âAemond?â she asks down the corridor, a girlish grin climbing on her lips. âWhere are you taking me?â
He doesnât bother to answer but she doesnât have to wait long to find out. They stop before a door down the corridor opposite to their chambers, Aemond pushes her inside without so much grace and shuts the door behind them.Â
She looks around briefly; the room is warm, the fire in the hearth is lit, as the candles scattered all around. This is all familiar. âThese are my old chambersâŠâ she says with a little frown, turning to him.
âQuite the observer, wife.â He drawls, and takes a few steps. His stride is different now. Slow, contemplating, as his gaze raking over her, as if he in the first place doesnât know why he brought her here and heâs assessing what to do. A war map, and he knows where all the faults lie.
âI thought we could spend some time togetherâ he starts, walking past her to go sit near the fire âAlone.â he adds once he leisurely sits down, crossing his long legs and resting his hands on the armrests. âWhat better place than a vacant room? No one will come looking for us here.â
She tries as hard as she can to stop the little smirk at the corner of her lips; she walks closer, stopping right in front of him, staring down. âThey might hear.âÂ
âHmm. And that is much of a trouble for you, isnât it?â he asks with the most fake genuine tone, taking a cup from the nearby table, and then âYou sucked my cock on a terrace and begged me to fuck you in the Small CouncilâŠI thought I told you to quit your act.â
She smiles openly now, watching the wine pouring in the cup, his eye fixed on the liquid as his eyebrow shots up. âBesides, I know exactly what to do to muffle your noises.â
âYou should be proud of my noises.â
âI am.â He says, taking a sip of wine, his eye piercing through her above the cupâs brim. âBut for once, Aegon is right. Iâm not one for sharing.â
His arm moves to put the wine aside but she takes it, only to feel his hand pulling the cup away from her. âYou cannot drink.â
âFine.â She concedes, leaning on him. âIâll have it my way.â
She holds his face and with her left hand she glides her fingers on the left side of his face, delicately but with purpose, pushing the eyepatch off. And then she kisses him, eagerly, licking his lips and then breaching inside to taste the wine on his tongue, on the roof of his mouth.
She sighs deeply when he locks his tongue with hers, and feels his lips curling.
âDid you hear it?â He says breaking the kiss, breathing into her mouth. âThat one is my favorite.â
âYour favorite what?â She asks mindlessly, chasing his lips but to no use, because he tilts his head back, his cursed smirk ghosting.
âNoise. Itâs a little thingâŠâ he tells her, locking one hand around her neck âin the back of your throat, close to a sigh but not quiteâŠâ his fingers trails against her throat, chasing her swallowing âIt tells me youâre dying to.â
âTo do what?â
âFall on your knees for me. Be a supplicant.â
She grabs the back of his neck, driving his head close and looks down at his arched mouth âYou cannot live without God, can you?â She looks up, her mouth open to breathe âSeven of them seem to have cursed me. I had to find my own.â
His eye widens at that. He looks straight into her eyes, so devoted, so raw. Sheâs right. The Gods would curse her some more if they saw she looks at him the way she should look at the Gods.
âThen do it.â
âWhat?â
âFlatteries donât work on me, sweetling. You should know that.â With his hand on her neck, he slightly pushes her away, making some distance between them. âYou will have to show me.â
âWhat would you have me do?â
His hands let go of her completely, resting on the armchair. The gemstone glints blue, and yet itâs nowhere near the bright cursed thing in his eye. âGet on your knees for me. Now.â
She should be ashamed of the pull in her bones, the muscles willing to move on their own accord and fall to the ground. But why, why does it have to be sin? Why can it not be religion?
When her knees hit the ground, she sees his chest rise, his long fingers spreading flat on the armchair. But her eyes fly back to his face as soon as he speaks, as soon as he commands. âTake off your dress.â
His eye sinks down, watching her hands work the corset, steadily. Itâs the only sound in the room, this tugging, at the dress. But she tugs at his cock too. She tugs between her own legs.
When the dress is nothing but a pool of green on the ground, she goes to pull down her white chemise, but she suddenly stops. Aemond uncrosses his legs and the air hitches in her throat as his hands go straight to his belt, unbuckling it.
He revels in the little lump in her throat. Perhaps later he will let her have what sheâs craving, but not so soon. âGive me your wrists.â
âMyââ
âDonât make me say it again.â
Swallowing, she keeps her eyes on him and raises her hands, like an offering. Aemond takes off his belt and leans forward, enough to take her hands and cross her wrists. She shudders at the sharp tug when he wraps the leather around, tying them tight.
âOn your feet.â
And up she goes, testing her hands briefly but finding soon that she cannot move them, at all.
âCome.â
It takes one swift movement of his leg, bending the knee while the other rests loosely on the ground, for her to get the gist and walk closer, sitting on his knee, sideways.
âNo. Like this.â Quite harshly, he grabs her hips and turns her so that sheâs straddling his thigh. He can hear her little gasp when he pushes his thigh firmly against her core. He can feel her warmth through the fabric, stirring his cock. But he pays it no mind, for now.
âWhat now?â She asks, poised precariously on his thigh.Â
Aemond tilts his head, and he just looks at her. In the spur of a moment, a boyish one that doesnât sit well with how heâs built, he thinks he might be quite contented by merely looking at her. Because sheâs beautiful and mine, mine, mine.
But his hands are burning, they might fray and wither if he doesnât touch her. He unties her hair, running his fingers through them as they fall around her shoulders. The Maiden. The Mother. And yet something better, something worse. Because her eyes are hungry, her mouth is starving for air, for his flesh.
âYou must toil to find God.â He says, and then he grins. A savage thing, full of promise. âBring yourself to come.â
A flash of thrill lights up her face, darkens her eyes and Aemond tilts his head again, biding all the time in the world, for he knows she will.
Tentatively, she pushes her body down, against his thigh, feeling a timid shot of pleasure traveling up from her core, ending in a short, labored breath.
That noise, that might be his second favorite.
Soon, her hips start to move back and forth, each time trying to push herself down as hard as she can, making little breathless cries each time she fails to give herself the friction she needs. She has little balance due to her tied wrists, so she rests her palms on his chest to gain some leverage. And that seems to do the trick.
She tilts her head back, moving faster, doing little jumps on his thigh, panting harshly as sweat lumps on her forehead and pleasure coils in her belly.
Aemond hikes up her chemise, watches her cunt brushing back and forth against his leg, leaving a trail of wetness on the fabric of his breeches. He has to choke down a growl. âGods, youâre soaking meâŠâ
She looks down at him, her cheeks pink, her lips open in a little o. He canât help himself. He sticks two fingers inside and how relishing it is that she waits for no invitation or order. She laps, twirls her tongue around his fingertips, sucks them.
âLook at youâŠâ he croons, taking his fingers out, leaving a trail of saliva down her chin. âBut you canât, can you? Perhaps I should fuck you before a mirror, so you see. You see how pretty you are when youâre desperate for me.â
His hand travels down her neck, tossing her hair back and then grasping the strap of her chemise, pulling it down, revealing her swollen, turgid breast. He leans forward immediately, cupping it in his hand, and takes the nipple into his mouth, crooning contentedly and then some more when he feels her wince and cry out loud.
Her tied wrists writhe in their merciless hold and he stops her, gripping both her hands with one of his own, keeping her still, lapping and sucking at her nipple until he feels something wet and saccharine on his tongue, humming all the better. He grazes his teeth over the sensitive bud, and she cries out again, bucking violently against him, turning sloppy and frenzy as she feels the fall close.
He feels it too, feels her thighs trembling around him, and thatâs when he takes her hips in a tight hold and forces her to stop altogether.
âDid you think I would make it so easy?â he asks spitefully, seeing her dazed expression. Wasting no time, he holds her firmly close to him and stands up. It takes him only two of his long steps to reach the bed and place her above. In a moment of illusive freedom, her tied wrists fly to his breeches, to his evident hardness, but heâs quick to stop her, bringing her arms above her head, keeping them there with a firm hold. âStay still.â
âAemondââ she pleads.
âHush. Spread your legs.â
She obliges, eager for him to do something, anything to stop the aching. Aemond wets his fingers on his tongue and brings them down, breaching inside her with two of them, watching her gasp, arch her back and twist her wrists in his hold, uselessly. âEasyâŠâ he cruelly laughs âI have just started.â
But she hasnât. Sheâs a few steps away from the precipice of her previous denied peak, it would take him so little to push her over the edge. Instead, his torture is so slow that the whole coiling in her belly falls apart and she must climb her peak again.
His two fingers slip in and out ever so easily, their wet sounds echoing through the room, mixed with her panted breaths and his own. He aches for her to touch him, he aches so much that his cock is pulsing, painfully, but this is just too thrilling. Now he knows exactly how she felt in Harrenhal, when she had him chained up to a chaise.
Her hips rock frantically against his hand, trying to speed him, to get there faster. Mumbling nonsense, her legs tense like iron, her cunt clenches and sucks his fingers in like a vice. âYesâŠyes, pleaseâŠAemondâŠplease donât stopââm so closeâŠâ
And just like that, he slips his fingers out; a dark pleasure dances on his candle-lit features as she writhes and whines for the loss of his fingers, swinging her lower back and forth, desperate for the barest friction that would end her misery.
âAemond, pleaseâŠâ she says, and even with only one eye, he canât mistake the tears of frustration at the corners of her eyes.
âWhat, my love?â
âPleaââ sheâs cut off by his hand, pushing his sticky fingers inside to make her clean up her mess.
âWe said enough with subtleties, did we not? Speak. Tell meâŠwhat you need me to do?â
âLet me come pleaseâŠpleaseâŠâ
At that, he finally lets her wrists go, and she almost winces in pain, for the time she had them tensed above her head. He stalls for a moment, unsure, running his eye over her whole body, sweating and feverish, and so beautifully plump because of motherhood. He unbuttons his doublet, and then his shirt, his breeches. He bares himself completely, catching her eyes following his deft hands everywhere, breathing heavily.
He kneels between her legs, spreading them. And itâs embarrassing, really, the way she tumbles as soon as he puts his tongue flat against her drenched folds. If only she cared.
It takes only a couple of twirls of his tongue around her lips, and she comes undone, shaking all over, canting her slit against his face. He helps her ride out her climax, by not stopping at all. Instead, he doubles his efforts like a man possessed, pushing his mouth open against her cunt as if he wished to devour it, sucking harshly until she whimpers hard, choking on a loud sob. âAemondâwaitâI canâtââ
She cannot take more so soon. But heâs utterly deaf to her complaints.
He feasts on her, lapping and dipping his tongue in, parting her folds to go as deep as he can, humming while drinking all of her; his voice reverberates through her flesh, it makes her bones rattle.
His long nose rubs against her bud and he looks up: she trashes about the sheets, cutting herself as the belt leather scratches her skin. She tries to push him away with her tied wrists, to no use. She clamps her legs around his head, in a desperate attempt to chase him away, sobbing for the unbearable stimulation. And yetâŠand yet her hips move on their own whim, bucking with sharp jolts until the wave starts to rise, higher and higher, and she drowns in it, letting go a high-pitched cry, clutching his scalp with both her tied hands, scraping, pushing him against her as she rides her peak against his face. Â
He swallows everything, licking her clean, moaning softly at feeling her pulsing on his tongue.
âEnoughâŠIâAemond you have to stopâŠâ she rasps breathlessly. Â
âWhy?â he asks, finally rising from where he had perched himself; he climbs on her, until he speaks to her face. âI am only making up to you. Wasnât that what you wanted?â
She can smell herself on him, she can see herself, glistening on his mouth, chin, even his cheekbones.
âAnswer me.â His hand grips her jaw âYou said you wanted everything.â
She chokes down a whimper when he leans completely on her, feeling his cock against her cooling flesh, while heâs hot and hard and heavy.
âI will give you more.â He says, brushing a strand of her sweat-soaked hair from her temple. âI will give you another child. Keep you all aching and wet for me while you swell with my child. Do you think I donât know? How you ached for me? Dâyou think I didnât?â he presses himself down, so she can feel it thoroughly, furrowing her brow as her body already answers to his call.
 âI can feel you in our bedâŠâ he keeps rasping ârubbing your legs together. And you know how much that bothers me. Your pleasure is mine to takeâŠand to give.â
Her lips part, gasping roughly. She was so hung on his lips that she hadnât even registered that he had taken hold of himself, bending her knee on his left hip, and guided himself in.
She arches against him while he slowly sheathes himself all the way in, moaning with long-awaited relief. He stays still for a moment, adjusting, but also because he takes her wrists and sets her hands free.
Thrilling as it was, he wants her hands on him, he craves her touch.
He wants her to cling to his shoulders as she always does, digging her nails down.
He wants her to clamp her fingers on the back of his neck, scraping and pulling his hair to keep him close enough to moan into his mouth.
He wants her hands on his back, sliding down, to push him even deeper while rutting inside her.
And she does all of that. She finds God.
#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x you#aemond targaryen fic#aemond targaryen smut#aemond targaryen fanfic#aemond x wife reader#aemond x fem!reader#aemond x reader#aemond x you#aemond targaryen x wife reader#aemond smut#hotd fic#house of the dragon#aemond one eye#aemond x y/n#aemond fanfiction#aemond fic#aemond targaryen x female reader#ewan mitchell#liv(in la vida loca)#religion
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#vent post#tw vent#i want to scream. to destroy something. to be in rage and feel anger. and somehow be strong#but no. all i can do is breakdown and cry. feeling only sadness and sorrow. being weak#just when i tought i could have a new start in were all was going to be fine. it ended worse than before#is like being lifted from a puddle just to be kicked down to the mud#they took 10k from me. how will i pay the rent? i am jobless. Delivery work is not close enough#if the school problem is fixed i might not be able to go. montly fee from them too#âyou look thinner. are you okay?â my whole family said. uncles. aunts. cousins. my grandma. my parents. even my brother said the same#somehow i expected to be praised. for a long time they kept asking me to lose weight and makinh fun of my belly. why is bad now?#is because i do not eat? because i do not have enough food? but this is what they wanted! i am looking better right? thinner#i am not suffering hunger. i just do not feel the need anymore. is not that better? My ED is fixed. i am no longer a compulsive eater#is this not the way to love myself again? to feel better with my body? to feel like i can desired after all?#with that i can overcome my flaws. fixing the bad things about myself. be deserving of intimate and deep love#someone that will stay because i am very good. kind. compasive. always smiling. having confidence. being open minded#did not all of that comes by loving myself? is not all better this way? why are they saying the opposite now?#yet i know is not okay. that i need to eat more. i just can not. there is not enough food nor the energy to cook everyday#it does not matter anyway. i will probably need to come back with my parents (at least i can do that).#but how i am going to see them in the face and not feel like a failure. like a parasite once again. be more burden than i already am#all i do is making mistakes with how i am. i could not keep friendship because i still loved them. i still wanted for them to be only mine#and i know is bad. i know is not correct. i know i am not what they want not what they need. that i hurt them more than helping#and yet. i miss they company. they support. they hugs and cares. they smiles and laughs. I messed up everything. perhaps is better like this#they will not need to worry about me anymore and they will not see me struggle with my mistakes and life situations#they could be free from all this mess and fixing they own without me making it worse#i will be fine. somehow. only time will tell how i am going to end#i just want to be hugged in this uglyness and stop making mistakes so the pain can end
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Sir, Please.
Pair: Wonwoo x f.reader
Genre: Fluff, Smut. 18+ only (MDNI).
Summary: Wonwoo doesnât mind keeping you at the edge if it means watching you fall apart.
Warnings: Dom!Wonwoo, Sir! kink, edging, cockwarming, unprotected sex (stay safe, children), squirting, clitoral stimulation, lots of making out, creampie, pussy slapping (like once), overstimulation, dacryphilia, breast play, wrist pinning, dirty talk, use of pet names (Sir, good girl, darling, love, baby, sweetie), glorious aftercare (Wonu is the best), fluff. Please let me know if i missed something. Not proofread, might come back to fix up errors.
WC: 3k
Authorâs note: First smut piece for Wonwoo my love. This was only supposed to be post-sex cuddles fluff but thought it was the right time to finally write smut for my favorite boy. As is the plot of this piece, good things come to those who wait đ Enjoy!
Tagging fellow Wonu lovers @multi-kpop-fanfics @playmetheclassics for the chaos.
âWhatâre you doing?â Your boyfriend quizzed, your bare body still on top of his, a cheek resting against his bare chest.
âDoodling,â you mumbled casually as your finger continued to draw lazy patterns on his side.
âDarling, it tickles.â
âI donât see you flinching.â
âYouâre on top of me. If I flinch, you might fall.â He stated matter-of-factly.
You craned your neck to look up at him, flashing a wide grin momentarily, âthen suffer.â
You shook along with Wonwoo as he laughed at your reply, a strong arm secured tightly around your torso, while his free hand cradled the back of your head.
A large smile was permanently etched on Wonwooâs face as you both laid in comfortable silence. When he had collapsed onto you just minutes ago after reaching his climax, he had asked so nicely if he could stay inside a little longer and who were you to complain? Youâve craved for this kind of intimacy with him for awhile now after being both so busy with work.
âYouâre lucky i love you,â Wonwoo declared as he kissed the top of your head.
You hummed in response, trailing your fingers again on his side, nails lightly scratching on his skin, âdid you just write âi love you tooâ on my ribs?â He laughs, and you nod an affirmative.
You took a deep breath, closing your eyes and snuggling more into your boyfriendâs chest. Now would be a good time for time to stand still. The setting sun casted warm hues of light inside your bedroom and while the airconditioning was cold, Wonwoo was radiating just the right amount of heat to keep you from shivering.
âIâve missed you,â you blurted out.
âI know, sweetheart. Iâve missed you too. Iâve missed this,â another kiss was placed on top of your head, âiâm sorry iâve been so busy.â
âIâm sorry too,â you sighed, resting your chin on his pecs to face him. âI wish i had more time to visit you in practice, or even just see you for lunch.â
âThatâs okay, darling. Weâre both just in our busy season. It will be over soon, yeah?â This time, Wonwooâs palm was rubbing circular motions on the small of your back. âI was thinking we should go on a vacation when this all boils over.â
Your eyes grew wide, excited at your boyfriendâs suggestion, âreally?â
âYeah, maybe the countryside? Or out of the country? Where do you want?â
A blush crept up your cheeks at Wonwooâs gesture of letting you choose, but honestly, you couldâve just stayed at your home and it would be okay. The last time you had a vacation, he made you choose the place too but this time, you didnât really have a shortlist of destinations. You craned your neck to kiss his lips shortly, âsurprise me?â You smiled shyly, âmaybe somewhere peaceful and with fresh air? Anywhere as long as itâs with you is all I want, darling.â
âOkay, iâll plan it out.â He confirmed before rolling you both over so his body hovered above yours
âWhere are you going?â You pouted when he made a move to slip out of you.
âI need to clean you up, sweetie.â
You hooked a leg around his waist in retaliation, not at all ready to feel empty just yet. You attempted the most doe eyes you could muster, looking up at your boyfriend through your lashes and clenching your pussy as you did so, âDonât you wanna fuck me one more time?â
Wonwoo scoffed at your question, the corner of his lips pulling into a devious smile at your sweet tone, âcanât get enough, darling?â His voice was lower by a few octaves, enough to send a shiver through your spine and a gush of wetness in your cunt.
âN-no, sir.â
Wonwoo smirked at the nickname before doing an experimental thrust. When your eyes rolled to the back of your head, he simply chuckled before dragging his cock out slowly and then swiftly burying himself to the hilt, rendering you even more speechless than you were. He could feel the rhythmic spasming of your walls, causing him to grow harder and harder.
You cupped his face to bring it closer to yours, kissing him and sucking at his lower lip. Wonwoo smiles in the kiss, amused at your neediness especially when he feels you lift your hips and roll them on his.
âEager are we?â
âWonuuu,â you whined pathetically, clawing at his back.
âWonu?â he questioned with a glare, pinning you to the mattress agressively, âthatâs not what you called me minutes ago, darlinââ
âWell, I donât know where he went. Maybe if you give me what I want then Iâll start calling you it again,â you smirked, dragging your nails a little more harshly on his skin making him hiss.
Wonwoo rolls his eyes, only to dive into your right breast and suck harshly at the bud, eliciting a loud moan from you. He snakes his hand in between you both, thumb finding your clit and rubbing it in circles, immediately feeling you clench around his dick again.He mutters something about you being responsive but it flies over your head as he picks up his pace. The slide is much easier given your mixed cum and your new arousal so it takes him record time to hit your sweet spot. Every ridge and vein on his cock drags against your walls in a way thatâs more delicious than awhile ago.
âS-sir, pl-pleaasee,â you shake, the pit of your stomach tightening as you arch your back.
âDoes my darling want to cum?â The nickname sounds sickly sweet as it rolls off his tongue and it only helps you get closer to the edge.
You nod your head repetitively, chants of âyesâsâ and âohâsâ spilling from your lips, but then Wonwoo withdraws his hand from your sensitive bud and stills inside of you, a vice grip around your body as he licks the shell of your ear, âyou donât get to cum until I say so.â The words were loud, clear and firm, in a tone you knew all too well.
âBut Wonââ you cry out loud, tears forming in your eyes as you feel your climax painfully float away.
âNuh uh,â two harsh thrusts are delivered straight to your gspot as your boyfriend hooks one of your legs on his shoulder, âCall me wrong again and I will not let you cum at all.â
âFuuuuck,â you mewl from the way his cock rams into you with the new angle, following it up with whines at the thought of getting no release, âS-sorry, sir! âM sorry!â
âThere it is. Now that wasnât so hard, was it?â Wonwoo mocks, ânow be my good girl and hold it out for me, yeah?â
Youâre a incoherent mess as you try to obey him, but it isnât so easy when his large cock is abusing your sore, sloppy cunt. Words of filth pair each one of his powerful thrusts.
âMy dirty little whoreâ
âSo fuckinâ needy for my cock.â
âCanât get enough of this pussy.â
âYour pussy is mine.â
âAll made for me.â
You were letting out moans of pleasure as Wonwoo pounded into you mercilessly, the knot in your stomach making itself felt again.
âFuâ ah! Fuck, s-sir! Please!â You asked, but it only fell on deaf ears. Both your wrists were tightly pinned with just one of your boyfriendâs large hand above your head and his blown out pupils were looking right at you.
âMake me cum, make me cum, make me cum, please!!!â you begged shamelessly, voice shaking and legs closing in as you teetered on the edge of your orgasm.
âNot. Yet.â Wonwoo withdrew fully from your hole and you shrieked at the loss, your hips lifting to chase after his dick only to have it slammed down by his free hand.
âSir!!!â You scowled, eyebrows scrunching and eyes wide, anger and pain washing away yet another failed orgasm.
A proud, lopsided smirk appeared on your boyfriendâs face. He licked his bottom lip, enjoying the torture he beset on you despite his painfully hard cock.
âWhat?â
It wasnât a question. He wasnât asking, you knew that much.
âNothing,â you cowered and blinked back your tears, erasing the anger in your face much to your dismay.
âGood girl.â
You swallowed thickly, squirming once more when Wonwoo tapped his heavy length on your pussy, coating himself with your slippery wetnessâ not that he needed any more of itâ before purposely slapping your swollen clit with his angry red tip. The stimulation from that alone already had your toes curling and it took every fibre of your being to not just unravel right there.
You shouldâve known calling him âsirâ would lead to this, but behind the tearful denials, you knew immense pleasure awaits.
âSiirrr, p-please! I n-need it.â
âShhh. Patience, darling. Weâve got lots of time.â The demonic chuckle Wonwoo let out had you whimpering pitifully, your hands fighting to break free from his hold.
It seemed your boyfriend was hell bent on prolonging your agony when he simply continues to endlessly tap his shaft on your clit as he pumps himself.
Wonwoo was not usually loud in bed, save for his occasional grunts and broken groans when he falls into bliss. However, heâs decided now would be the perfect time to make matters all the more worse for you. He was being loud about it all, no holds barred. The squelching noises of his dick against your wet lips is now easily drowned out by the guttural moans Wonwoo has let slip past his mouth. You thought his dirty talk is music? Well, this was a symphony.
You had thought you wouldnât get close this time around since he wasnât inside you but the relentless knocks on your clit and the obnoxiously loud moans of your boyfriend have proved you wrong. Your hands balled into fists and you squeezed your eyes shut, mentally fighting off the ball of pleasure in your lower abdomen.
âLook at you, fighting so hard,â Wonwoo snickers, pressing down the tip of his cock to your clit in slow circular motions, âshow me how good you are yeah?â
âYes yes yes! âM good! Your good girl, promise!â You were so far gone, pliant to each one of your boyfriendâs requests.
âSo wet, youâre soiling the bed,â he points out the obvious, âwhat a fuckinâ mess.â Wonwoo saw another shiver run through you, indicating you were seconds away from release. So for the third time that day, he denies you of the very thing you crave for, letting go of your wrists and then landing a sharp smack to your pussy before completely backing away to watch you spasm and curl up into a ball of needy tears and pathetic whines.
Your head was spinning and your senses were more than heightened. The slippery feeling of your arousal between your thighs were making it harder for you to squeeze them shut and stay still. Wonwoo simply loomed over you, giving you enough time to stabilize your breathing and let your failed orgasm ebb away. He knew that if heâd put so much just as one finger on your skin, youâd cum right away. Contrary to his actions, he wanted you to cum, but that didnât mean he wanted to see you cry for it first.
âS-sirr,â you sobbed.
A gentle touch carefully landed on your calf and when you didnât flinch away, Wonwoo let out a sigh of relief, âYes, baby?â
âPlease,â your voice barely above a whisper, ân-need youâŠâ
Whatever other words you had planned were swallowed by Wonwoo in a searing kiss. It was sloppy and messy, his skillful tongue darting to yours, teeth biting at your lips. You both moaned in unison when he impaled you on his cock once more.
âSo big,â you groaned, initially amused at the delicious stretch until you realised, heâs had to hold off his own orgasm too.
Wonwoo gives it his all, jackhammering into you like it would be the last time. The sound of moans and skin slapping skin reverberate around the room. And then, there it is again, a coil so tight on your stomach, you fear youâre going delirious to the point of no return.
âWoâ Sir!â You quickly correct yourself, losing the least bit of dignity you had, tears drenching your cheeks, âiâm b-begging, p-pleaseâŠâ
The gentle kiss on your nose set a stark contrast from how his cock abused your sopping cunt, but relief finally took over you at the words whispered in your ear, âso good for me. Let go, baby. I got you.â
A strangled cry ripped out of your throat, your orgasm gloriously hitting you like a tidal wave. Wonwoo continued to talk you through it while holding down your convulsing body and slamming his hips into you, the sight of your pussy creaming his cock eventually producing broken moans from him.
âB-babe, tooâ ah! Too m-much!â More tears fell on your face as Wonwoo did deep snaps, his pelvic bone grinding on your clit.
âCâmon baby, mâ close. S-so close!â
Incomprehensible noises tumbled out of you when your boyfriend buried himself deep, pushing onto your sweetest spot and stilling there. Between his guttural groans, the perfect âOâ shape of his mouth and the thick loads of hot white cum that flooded your velvety walls, another coil snapped within you, a new round of arousal seeping out of your spent hole, except this time, much wetter and hitting you like a ton of bricks.
âFuuuck, darling,â Wonwoo trembled as the last of his nectar oozed out, âdid I just make you squirt?â
âFuck off,â you scowled, wishing you had more energy to wipe the smug look plastered on your boyfriendâs face.
âSo I did?â Wonwoo pursed his lips and scrunched his nose, a look you very much love but absolutely hate right now.
You let your bottom lip jut out in a pout, your brows drawing to the center of your face, âhow could I not when you edged me like that!â
âYouâre cute,â was his only response, very slowly slipping his softening cock out of you. Your sweet boyfriend peppered kisses all over your face, replacing your frown with a smile. âDid I make you feel good, darling?â He asked genuinely, not wanting to ever subject you to something which you didnât enjoy doing.
You gave him a shy nod, pulling him closer by his neck to close the gap between your mouths and share a loving kiss, much like how it was way earlier. It didnât take long for you to part, your lungs still recharging to full capacity after having all the air knocked out of you.
Wonwoo gave you more time to recover, resting his head on the crook of your neck to leave soft kisses on your skin, especially on the blooming bruises he left in his wake.
âDarling, you canât sleep yet,â he shook you gently when he noticed your prolonged stillness.
A small whine escaped your lips, âbut Woo⊠iâm tired.â
âI know, i know,â he hushed softly, âbut we need to get you cleaned up and also, change the sheets. Iâll make it quick.â
You had no time nor energy to protest. You were simply being carried bridal style into the bathroom, your boyfriend making sure you peed before he went on to wash up yours and his sweaty body with warm water. He was so so tender with his touch, especially in all parts between your legs. Heâd keep an observant eye to every reaction your face made, careful not to cause any pain.
âCan⊠can you be mine?â you squeaked, and Wonwoo giggled at the drunken look of love on your face. Every time you think nothing can top sex with your boyfriend in your own little list of Worldâs Most Wonderful Things, youâre reminded that aftercare by him exists.
âDarling, iâm already yours,â Wonwoo chuckles.
You noded with a grin, brain really starting to drift off into slumber, âI like that.â
He fixes his glasses by the bridge of his nose after giving you a once-over, now dressed in cotton panties and one of his large navy blue shirts which hung mid-thigh on you.
Wonwoo lifts you up to sit on the bathroom counter before cupping your cheeks to meet your eyes, âbaby, can you sit here and wait for me for about 10 to 15 minutes, please? I need to change our sheets.â
He had expected you to whine and retaliate, knowing you were always extra clingy after sex, but you simply nodded and smiled. You think you felt his lips on your forehead but you arenât too sure.
The moment Wonwoo slips out of the bathroom, youâre fighting not to fall asleep, but 15 minutes is long, and maybe you can just lean your head a bit on the cold marble tileâ
âLetâs get you to bed, love,â the tall man chuckles as he lifts you in his arms. You swore it hadnât been fifteen minutes, not even ten! But then he walks past your bed and out of your shared bedroom. The light of the hallway enough to stir your brain awake.
âWhere are we going?â You ask, nuzzling your face on the crook of his neck as he cradles you into another room.
Wonwoo laughs at your question, âWe have to take the guest bedroom for the night, darling. Youâve soaked through our mattress.â
#svt#seventeen#svthub#svt x reader#svt smut#seventeen smut#svt fic#seventeen fic#svt one shot#seventeen one shot#svt image#seventeen imagine#wonwoo smut#wonwoo fic#wonwoo imagine#wonwoo one shot#wonwoo x reader#paula writes âš#paula writes smut
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Birds and Mice and Tea Parties 20
Masterpost
AN: B really was trying his best to protect Danny last time, he just was missing too much information. Poor Danny...
No reading over. We suffer and post at 2am.
-
It had been two weeks since the last rogue Wayne visit.
Danny hadnât intended to keep track. There was no reason to. One visit from Cass and one from Tim did not a pattern make.
He tried to dismiss the observation. He had plenty to do; it wasnât like he didnât have friends. The bi-weekly trivia group would start meeting again soon. He also had a TTRGP session that did its best to meet around all that life threw at them. Tucker and him played online games when they could make schedules match and he and Sam talked when she was stateside. He even had regular lunches with coworkers!
Still, there had been something different about spending time with the family.
So no, Danny hadnât meant to keep track, but he still knew it had been two weeks and a day. But of course he wouldnât see the Waynes that often. Bruce was a very busy man and most of the children would have no reason to come to W.E. They had their own lives with work and school and being kids or young adults. The other visits had simply been flukes, as nice as the visits had been.
The subtle feeling of melancholy that had settled over him was ridiculous and he wasnât having it. His mood was simply off because of the whole Ancient thing. The way it was affecting his health didnât make feeling better any easier either.
Danny leaned against the wall of the elevator as he tried to catch his breath. He really shouldnât be walking right then to get lunch, not with the way that he felt, but he hadnât had anything at his place to make lunch with. He hadnât had the energy to go shopping. Heâd just go somewhere close instead of walking to anything on the other side of the park.
The natural reverb of the lobby assaulted Danny as he stepped out of the elevator.
He just had to get through the lobby, the street, the restaurant, back through the street, and through the lobby again. Then he could hide in his office and eat. Or he could hide in there and eat as long as Lucius didnât find him. Maybe even Lucius would give him a break today though.
âDr. FentonâŠ?â
Danny looked up from rubbing his neck.
It was Tim. Damian was at Timâs side, flanking him like a little guard dog and scowling. Tim was frowning too. Danny immediately wanted to fix whatever was wrong.
âLook at that, a pair of Waynes. How are you two?â
âThat is unimportant,â Damian said with a little sniff. âYou are clearly unwell. I assume you are returning to your apartment to rest?â
âOh, no, Iâm just going to go grab lunch. Iâm alright, really,â Danny said and put on the best smile he could muster.
Tim and Damian looked at each other in some sort of silence conversation. Danny started to edge away from them, thinking he could escape before they came to some sort of end. He really needed out of the lobby and its echoing sounds.
A startled shriek from the entry way cut off that plan.
Danny twisted to face the sound as he stepped in front of the kids.
Of course it was a rogue, what else would it be in Gotham? It was a rogue, but at least it was the Mad Hatter and his squad of likely mind controlled goons. He usually wasnât prone to death and destruction like some of the others were. But still, Danny felt his metaphorical hackles rising. The kids were here.
The kids were here and sure to draw the Mad Hatterâs attention if he saw them. Danny stepped slowly backwards, herding the kids away from the scene. At least they werenât far into the lobby.
âBack up to the stairwell,â Danny said lowly, trying to cast his voice behind him.
âTch. We canââ
âThe elevator, the back left one,â Tim said quietly but firmly over his brotherâs protest. âI have a code to take it to a safe room in the basement.â
âIf he kills the power,â Danny started.
âThe elevators have emergency back up.â
âThatâs not very good behavior for a tea party, is it?â the Matter Hatter shouted at someone.
Danny bit back a rising noise of anger in his throat. His fingers twitched to act. But he couldnât. The best plan was to get the kids out of there away from any action.
âYes I see, Damian,â Tim hissed. âWeâre almost to the elevator.â
âCall it as soon as you can,â Danny said. Was there a reverb to his voice? It felt like there was a reverb to his voice. No, no, he couldnât, he had toâŠ
âThatâs better! See? This is how you behave when someone invites you to a tea party! Now where is that little dormouse?â the Mad Hatter called. âI know I saw him come in here! With an even littler one too.â
He wanted Tim.
âCalling the elevator.â
âAnother mouse? A rat? A cat?"
The Mad Hatter wanted Tim and Damian.
âHere mousy mouse mice⊠where are you?"
Danny would not let that happen.
âOh there you are! Hiding back by the doors, of course he is!â The Mad Hatter said. The crowed parted in fear. His wide, manic eyes looked right past Danny and he grinned. âGet them. We have a tea party weâre late for.â
âOver my dead body,â Danny growled.
The Mad Hatter blinked at Danny like he just noticed him for the first time. His goons rushed past him and through the crowd. âOh, who are you? Never mind, if death is what you want, we can make that happen.â
Danny couldnât hold back the chortling laughter. âSee, thatâs where you have a problem you donât even know you could have.â
âAnd what is that?â
âYou couldnât handle my dead body,â Danny said just as the first goon reached them.
Danny stepped forward. He ducked under the swing of the punch and used the momentum to spin the goon around. With a push of his ghostly power, he sent the attacking goon careening into the next one and they both went tumbling.
âDanny, itâs here!â Tim shouted.
Not turning his back to the attackers, Danny stepped backwards into the elevator. Tim slammed a button and the doors basically snapped closed, much faster than they should. Danny was left staring at the polished metal surface of the elevator. Luminous green stared back at him. Soft black feathers dotted his temples. His fingers ended in talons. And he could feel it.
He could feel the skin on his back started to split.
Wings.
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up all night
pairing: bang chan x gn!reader w. 3.9k genre: shameless smut summary: chan is in the studio working late, stressed about a deadline and pushed to his limit. you convince him to take his mind off work. warnings: reader has somewhat implied afab anatomy but no gendered terms/pronouns are used. petnames used: baby, love, honey a/n: making my smut debut with chan! written for the best person ever
As of late, Chan has been in the studio far more often than you'd like.
You knew he was a workaholic when you got into the relationship. He cared about his career, music, and group so much he'd push himself to the brink. He wrote, composed, and produced all of his own music and wouldn't have it any other way. If he wanted success, he needed to make it himself.
It came at a cost, though. You saw the way his mental health would deteriorate around the time of deadlines. He'd spend almost entire days in the studio, perfecting every last word and beat. You watched as he shaped this music from his hands, sculpting them to smooth out every edge and imperfection.
Even Chan was far too aware how bad it was for himself. You'd try to find ways for him to take breaks, always bringing him food and water to keep him going. He'd thank you in a million ways, with words and fond touches but it ended in him going back to work.
When he finally was home, he returned to the kind and gentle boyfriend you knew him to be. Holding you as you fell asleep and buying your order at the local coffee shop before you woke up. He'd make you breakfast in bed when he had the time, writing love notes whenever he had to leave before you woke up.
As it always happened, a new deadline was approaching. Chan often slipped out after schedules to the studio and worked himself down to the bone. You tried your hardest to spend as much time in there with him, even if it was just laying on the couch scrolling your feed. Every little thing helped.
That night, you'd ordered him some takeout but it was eaten long ago. The time on your phone showed it was half past three in the morning and Chan was at it in earnest. Headphones on, replaying samples and tweaking sounds.
You looked over from your phone when you heard him swear under his breath and take his headphones off. Chan let out a long sigh and covered his face with his hands for a moment before looking back down at his work.
"It- it just won't sound like I need it to. It's not right, it's.." Chan rambled into the air.
You got up from the couch and walked behind his chair, putting your hands on his broad shoulders and massaging them with your fingers. "I know, Channie. Is there anything I can do to help you right now?"
"No, I'm sorry," Chan let out a long sigh and smiled up at you weakly, "You being here is enough."
You felt a stirring in your stomach at the sentiment, but you wouldn't give up that easily. "I can't just let you suffer alone here. Do you want to take a break or wrap up for the night?"
"I won't remember how I want it tomorrow. If I give up on this now, there's a chance I never fix it and it goes out sounding wrong. I can't do that."
"Chris," You stopped massaging his shoulders to turn his chair around, looking down at him, "I know you want it perfect. Write it down on a sticky note what you want and take a break. It's gonna be four soon and I'm not letting you spend another all nighter here."
Chan looked up at you curiously before deflating back in his chair. "I mean- are you sure? If I forget, it's gonna be noticeable, and-"
"I'll remind you. I'll put it in my phone and tell you exactly what you need to fix. Here, tell me what it is and I'll write it down. Got it?"
Chan paused for a moment before nodding, allowing you to open your phone before speaking. He gave you the exact timestamps of the song and the strange producer jargon that you couldn't quite make sense of. You wrote it down word-for-word just as he needed it.
"There, it's in here for you later," You recited it back to him and he gave a confirmatory nod, "You're all set for tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? I can't be done for the night, there's too much to work on and not enough time. I'm sorry, just another hour. Please?"
You shook your head and set your phone down on the table before sliding into his lap, straddling him in the chair. "You're not working another second on those songs tonight, Chris."
Chan looked up at you a little stunned before a sly smirk crossed his face. "Baby, you know that's not fair to me. I need to work and you're doing something dangerously distracting."
"What are you going to do, then?" You replied back, unable to hold back a grin, "You gonna remove me from your lap to do some boring work instead?"
You could see Chan chew on the inside of his cheek before sighing. "It's not boring, and I really should get back to it.."
"Then you're going to have to remove me yourself, because I'm not moving."
Chan let out a dramatic sigh before his hands moved up the outside of your thighs, resting right next to your hips. "You know damn well I'm not going to do that."
"And why's that, Channie?"
His hands moved over your thighs, giving a light squeeze. "God, you're driving me insane. Coming into the studio every night and making yourself useful at every opportunity.. I wanted so bad to stop just to make you feel good. You deserve that, instead of me working the whole day."
"Your opportunity has finally come, I'm all yours if you want me right now."
Chan chuckled, "You could ask me that a thousand times and I could never say no."
You leaned in to his ear and whispered, "Then make your move."
There was a moment of silence before Chan pulled you in for a kiss, messy and rushed. His hands were all over your thighs, waist, back. He couldn't pick a spot and stick to it, deciding instead everywhere needed to be felt over.
You tried to keep things centered, your arms wrapped around the back of his neck. One of your hands played with the curls growing on the back of his head, enjoying the soft feeling through your fingers. It was the only thing keeping you sane.
His hands finally found a place to reside when he hooked them on the hem of your pants, giving light tugs as you felt him squirming under you. Pulling away from the kiss with a grin, you looked down at Chan and his flushed appearance. "So eager.."
"Can you blame me? Now stand up and help me get those off," Chan demanded with a rushed voice, helping get you to your feet as he followed in your footsteps. His usually deft hands were fumbling as he desperately pulled your pants off of you and discarded them to the floor.
Watching him undo his own sweatpants like a madman had you giggling at the sight. "You go one week without any action, and this is how desperate you get?"
"I'm a starved man, honey," Chan's face was red and already had sweat on his brow, "I can't wait any longer, not after all that teasing."
"Teasing? What-"
"Get on the damn couch."
That much was enough to have you laying down on the couch without hesitating. His sweatpants joined yours on the floor, showing off the black boxers he was sporting underneath. A quick glance showed he was pitching an obvious tent.
Although as quick as you were, Chan caught you looking. He raised his brows and laughed, "And I'm the eager one here?"
"You are the eager one here, hardly put your hands on me and you're giving those boxers a run for their money," You responded with your own laugh.
"You little.." Chan shook his head and leaned over you, putting his weight on one forearm on the couch as he kissed you once more. Instead of the fast and desperate pace he had set before, Chan was far slower and delicate. It was almost infuriatingly slow.
You couldn't show how much you wanted him to go faster, that would only prove his point. Instead, he was slowly breaking you down by the second, one arm stabilizing himself and the other hand on your neck, softly stroking your jaw with his thumb.
The waiting game paid off when Chan suddenly took your bottom lip between his teeth, giving it a small tug before he pulled away. "I can't keep this up. You win. Damn you, I'm eager."
There wasn't time for any words to respond before Chan was back where he was before, sloppy and fast. He kissed down your neck, excessive in his biting and sucking at the sensitive skin. Not expecting it, a sound broke its way out of you.
You did your best not to give in to the rest of his harsh and aggressive kisses down your neck. After a week of downtime, he was making up for it in marking your neck as his own. Nobody was going to know who the perpetrator of the hickeys were later (other than the upset staff), but it was the idea that mattered.
There were bigger problems actively stealing your attention. Namely, the small amount of friction made with him moving ever-so-slightly between your legs. It was easy to ignore at first, but the neck kisses were causing the pleasure parts of your brain to kick into high gear.
With one harsher movement than the rest, you were unable to bite back a small, unfiltered sound that escaped you. Chan broke contact with your red and bruising skin to look up with a grin on his face.
"What was that, love?" Chan's tone was starkly different than before, far more teasing and with a dark edge to his voice that you only recognized coming out in bed.
Attempts to take his attention off of it failed and you were forced to fess up in the moment. "You have to stop moving like that, it's driving me crazy."
"Moving like what?" Chan shifted his legs, slotting his thigh directly between yours and pressing firmly against you. This elicited a frustrated sigh, the feeling too strong to push away.
Upon no immediate response, Chan pushed his thigh forward and forced a fuller, more in-tact moan out of you. "Fine, fine- that. Putting your thigh between my legs. That's the thing that's driving me crazy."
"There you go," Chan's words were sickly doting in a way that made you break at the seams, "What do you want instead?"
With his thigh slotted firmly between your own, finding coherent strings of words was difficult. "Just.. get this underwear off me and use your fingers instead."
Chan smiled, clearly pleased with your answer. He moved his leg out from between yours, relieving the pressure and allowing you to breathe. He sat back on his legs as he removed the last layer of clothing from below your waist, tossing it to the growing pile on the floor.
He nudged himself closer, Chan's hand finding its way to where his thigh was once situated before. His middle finger teased you with a circular motion around your entrance, so close to where you needed it most.
"Chan." You demanded, shooting him a glare.
"Okay, okay. Just admiring how worked up I've got you," Chan smirked before his finger pushed inside, slowly filling you up and drawing out a long sigh. He worked slowly yet decisively, knowing exactly how you like it.
That was one of the things you loved about Chan: he knew your body like the back of his hand. Where you were most sensitive, what drove you wild, how rough you liked him to get. He could push your buttons perfectly, string you up in his words until you were tied up into a nice present for him.
Before you could process the first, Chan had already added a second finger and was growing more confident. He worked his fingers in and out in a steady rhythm, not slow enough to leave you wanting more nor fast enough to want to slow down.
"That good, baby?" Chan's eyes met yours, and you saw a different side of him for a moment. The way he sought your approval and made sure everything was right had your heart melting. He had confidence in his abilities, but occasionally needed reassurance.
You nodded eagerly, on the cusp of desperation. "It's good, Channie, you're doing so good," You said between soft moans as his fingers pumped deep, feeling him tease a third and giving him a nod.
The third was always a stretch that had you biting back whines in conjunction to moans, but the feeling was too good to beat. The feeling of being full, on his fingers or otherwise, was what drove you wild.
He kissed you once more, slow and tender as his fingers continued to work. It was hard to keep properly connected, devolving into moaning against his lips with small kisses in between.
"Chris," You said, "Can't wait any longer. Need to have you inside, baby."
Instead of his usual entourage of teasing questions, Chan nodded. He made quick work of his boxers, tossing them haphazardly towards the pile as he moved back to you. He was painfully hard, already leaky and worked up.
"Can I?" He looked down for your reassurance, which came with a nod as he lined himself up. His hips moved forward slowly, feeling him filling you up more by the second. It always took a second to adjust to the size, catching your breath as he bottomed out and waited for your signal.
When you gave him the go-ahead, Chan couldn't help but begin a slow and steady pace. He knew better than to go fast right off the bat- he was a lot to handle. But you could hear him whining softly over top of you and knew he was desperate.
Looking up at him, you cupped his face and pulled him in for a quick kiss. "You can go faster, Chris. You won't hurt me."
You heard Chan let out a breathy laugh before his thrusts grew harsher. Instead of the slow, fluid motion of before; he was faster, precise. Every movement had purpose, each angled just right and hitting the sweet spot.
The sudden adjustment had you whining and letting out louder moans, unable to properly cope. It was overwhelming how good he was at it. All you could do was wrap your hands around the back of his shirt and claw at it helplessly as he had his way.
The fabric getting in the way of your fingers on his skin was beginning to frustrate you. "Off," You managed to get out, "Shirt- off."
Chan grinned, sitting up for a moment and slowing down to a snail's pace to pull his black t-shirt over his head and discard it. You reached up, dragging a hand down his chest and over his abs. Every muscle was yours to touch, to claim.
"You like what you see?" Chan said with a laugh.
Deadpanning, you shook your head. "Shut up."
In a second, he was back over top of you and his pace was back with a new force he didn't have before. It was often he was without clothes, but you weren't under the impression a shirt would be the thing holding him back. Either way, you relished in the fact his back was open to you.
Your nails dug in to his tanned skin, dragging along as he fucked into you steadily. You could hear him sucking air in between his teeth followed by his soft moans. He was always one to endure a little pain.
An idea popped into your head when you thought of before, sitting in the chair in his lap. "Chris, stop for a sec." He immediately halted all movements, looking down at you to make sure everything was alright. "Sit normally, facing the booth."
Chan looked at you perplexed for a moment, but pulled away. He did exactly as you told him to, sitting with his legs spread facing the booth he was just sitting in front of not twenty minutes ago. "What are you planning?" He asked.
You sat up and climbed over to him, straddling his waist with your legs and feeling him hard underneath you. "What I wanted to do to you when I was in your lap earlier."
The realization slowly filled his eyes and a knowing smile returned to his face as he sat back, leaning against the black couch cushion behind him. "Go right ahead."
"If you make me do all the work, we're going to have problems," You glared at him as your hand guided his cock, slowly sinking down on it with a sigh.
Chan's large hands wrapped around your waist, slowly guiding you as you moved up and down. Riding wasn't always the easiest job, and it definitely took some getting used to at the start. Your thighs were slowly building up muscle from the practice.
"God, you're so pretty like that," Chan's voice pulled you from your thoughts, looking down at him to see him smiling up at you. His face was pink and he almost had stars in his eyes.
Seeing just how infatuated he was made your heart race and your face flush, almost forgetting to continue to move. "You're pretty, too."
Your hands were situated on his shoulders to keep steady, but one dragged down and you couldn't resist feeling up his chest a bit. Chan looked up at you smirking again. "Do you ever keep your hands off those?"
Snickering, you pushed down a little harder to see him whine and catch his breath before you responded, "If you're going to keep your clothes off all the time, I'm going to feel up the assets you work so hard on."
"Why do you insist on teasing me all the time? You know what happens when you do that," Chan had a dark look in his eyes that you knew far too well.
Shrugging, you moved your hand up to run through his hair. "Did you ever consider I might like what happens when I tease you?"
"So be it."
Without hesitation, you felt Chan's grip around your waist suddenly tighten. You leaned forward instinctively, both of your hands secured around his shoulders.
He began to thrust up into erratically, fast and without caution or precision. The sound of your skin connecting was obscene, thanking the amount of soundproofing around you as a chorus of moans spilled out of you. Every movement had him deep inside you as you attempted to roll your hips along with him.
"Fuck, Chris," You whined, his pace unrelenting and seeming like he wasn't going to let up any time soon, "Close."
There was a distinctive feeling growing, one you knew too well. The amount of pleasure from every movement was rapidly growing as your body was being overwhelmed. Chan heard you, but didn't stop for a moment. It was almost if it was a sign for him to fuck you faster.
Either way, you were tipping over the edge before you had time to process it, spasming around him as you let you a whorish moan. He slowed down, letting you ride out the high. "That's it, baby," He coaxed, "You got it."
Just as you settled down, you felt him start to work himself into a moderate pace again. Your legs felt shot from your energy levels dipping so you asked, "Do you want to me to move, baby? I don't think I have much in me to keep going right here."
"If it's not comfortable to be right there, of course we can move," Chan said with a smile as he allowed you to reposition to pretty much the same spot you were in before. You laid on your back, Chan coming back over top of you. "That better?"
"Much better," You said with a nod as he went back to the pace he had set before. It wasn't as rough as before your orgasm, but steady enough to keep you whining and your brain somewhat fogged up from the constant pleasure.
Meanwhile, you could see Chan was already getting worked up. His face was redder than usual, his eyes trained on one spot, breathing hard as he kept the effort going to thrust his hips in one continuous pace.
His deep groans and whines had begun to turn into full-fledged moans and swears under his breath. His hands eagerly gripped and kneaded at your waist, seeming like he might accidentally bruise the skin. You were about to open your mouth when he said something.
"Honey, I-" Chan was cut off by his own faltered moan, "I'm close, so fucking close."
You pulled him down to kiss him briefly, keeping his face inches from yours as he continued to erratically thrust. "You don't have to wait, cum for me."
Chan nodded vigorously, his hips snapping back and forth at a speed that had you holding onto the couch for dear life, hearing him let out strained moans and teary-eyed cries as he climbed closer and closer to the top.
All of the sudden, he pushed deep inside you, letting out a gasp and a whine as you felt him come deep inside. His hips stuttered as he slowly rocked them, riding out the high. "Oh my god, that.. that was amazing."
Allowing him a moment to catch his breath, you smiled up at him and gave him another quick kiss. "I've missed you, Chris. I've missed this," You admitted after another silent pause.
Chan nodded, pressing his forehead against yours and sighed. He had finally mellowed out, still buried deep. "I've missed you, too. I'm sorry I haven't been able to do this with you and.. be a good boyfriend."
"No, you're okay. I know how much work matters to you and getting things right means that you see that success you've always wanted. I just always miss you in the times you're working, even if I'm in the same room as you."
"I just feel bad when you're here til way too late at night. Speaking of, what time is it?" Chan slowly pulled out, leaving his mess inside you as he quickly grabbed his phone from the floor, "Oh my god. It's half past four."
Your jaw dropped, standing up quickly as Chan hurried around the room to find something to help you clean up. He settled for his own black t-shirt, telling you he'd just go home shirtless if he had to. Of course it looked terribly stained when you had wiped yourself down, sighing while knowing it probably cost a crazy amount.
Digging through a closet, you found one of Chan's old jacket. Chan was standing shirtless and pacing with the rest of his own clothes on, the defiled shirt balled up in his hand.
"Channie, guess what I found?" You asked with a grin, hiding the jacket behind your back.
Chan looked at you with a nervous smile. "Is it something good? I'm just not super stoked to walk home shirtless at four in the morning.."
You tossed the jacket to him, Chan opting to drop the shirt in his hand before he caught it to not get the filth on it. He happily slid it over his shoulders and zipped it up all the way, picking up the soiled shirt once more.
"Shall we go?" Chan said as he double-checked his pockets and walked towards the studio door.
"We shall."
#bang chan#bang chan x reader#christopher bahng#chan x reader#stray kids#skz#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#bang chan smut#skz fic#skz imagines#stray kids smut
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Through Me (The Flood) - secret baby fic Simon Riley / female reader - request: angst 2/3 - tw trauma
"How bad?"
You're trying to keep pace with Kyle, who's clocking a break neck speed at your side, mind still reeling, trying to turn everything over, make sense of it all, Orion heavy in your arms, nearly asleep again after you pulled him from his dreams to bring him with you... here.
To the hospital.
Kyle says your name. He says it softly, kindly, and there's sadness in his eyes. "He's tough, he's never not made it through... but he did go to surgery when we landed." Oh god. Your stomach roils.
"Mrs. Riley?" You blink. Nothing in this moment feels real, not the white hallway, the antiseptic smell, the hustle and bustle flowing around you like a rock in a river. The woman in scrubs smiles kindly, and you try to focus on her teeth. Straight. Perfect. "Would you like to see your husband?"
"Yeah..." Orion gurgles in his sleep, and you throw Kyle a desperate look.
"Here," he reaches, pulling him into his chest, "I"ll hang out with big man for a bit. You go on." The tightness in your chest loosens, only a fraction.
"Thank you."
The doctor explains the extent of the damage. Surgery. Broken ribs. His limbs are intact, but he 'rung his bell' pretty hard, resulting in an awful concussion. She stops at the doorway with a sympathetic smile. "He's been out of surgery for a few hours, but is fairly groggy. He was asleep the last time the nurse was in. There's a call button on the wall, ring us if you need anything, okay?" You nod, dumbly. Barely processing. Heart squeezing in your chest.
"Simon, it's okay, it's me, just me." He pulls at the oxygen tubing under his nose, and you tug on his wrist, trying to prevent him from yanking it free. "Hey, hey. You're okay, you're in the hospital." You try to soothe him, calm him, but his eyes are blank, lungs raspy and stuttering, full of panic. It's agony to know he's suffering, he's scared, and you can't fix it. "Simon," you try again, placing a hand on his neck, trying to steer his focus onto yourself, but his lip trembles. The monitors beep wildly, too fast, and you try to settle him.
"No, please." Tears spring to your eyes. Your heart breaks. "Stop, stop, please." His voice fractures, tears shining on his cheeks.
"I'm here." Your fingers find his. "I'm here, you're okay, you're in the hospital." You lean over him, gently pressing your lips to his forehead-
and his arm swings wildly at your chest, shoving you away so forcefully you stumble backwards with a gasp, nearly falling.
The door opens, Price and Soap sprinting into the room, the captain holding Simon by the shoulders as Soap slams the call button.
The next moments pass in a blur. A team files in and sedates him, forces something into his IV as he moans, slurring words together you don't understand.
Your sobs come easily.
Your nose keeps skimming across the top of Orion's head.
He didn't mean it. He wasn't in his right mind.
You repeat it over and over again, trying to engrain it in your soul. It's easy to imagine, where he was in his mind. Pleading not to be touched, something in the moment, you didn't understand. It's so obvious looking back.
"He's awake now." Soap eases himself into the chair next to you, the one you've been in for five hours, eyes wide, free hand gripping a lukewarm tea like a lifeline. "Askin' if ye're here."
"He doesn't remember." It's not a question, but Soap still nods.
"We hav'nae told him yet. Wanted to talk ye first." You take a deep breath.
"Will you... will you take the baby? I don't want..." Soap's gaze softens, deep with sympathy.
"O'course."
"There you are." He's desperately relieved, head turned towards you, eyes wide and eager. You long for him, but your body refuses to budge, feet unable to carry you to his side. "It's okay, mama. It's not as bad as it looks. I'm okay."
"S-Simon." You're on the verge, spiraling, and his head tilts, confused, brows creased.
"C'mere, sweetheart. It's okay. I'm alright." Your heart screams. Wails, pleads and begs, move, step forward, go go go... but your body does not budge. You're frozen. "Hey. What's wrong?" Everything. You should be comforting him, helping him, holding him, but fight or flight is slowly poisoning your mind. He struggles to sit up in the bed, monitors sounding off, faster and faster, same pace as before, worry starting to seize his muscles. "What is it? What... are you okay? Is it the baby?"
"N-no... I-" You want to tell him, but the words evaporate. The only thing you can do is press yourself against the wall. Your knees go weak. Your heart is beating too fast, and you turn dizzy, hands splayed behind you for support.
He says your name. When it fails to get your attention, he says it again, louder, hoarse with worry.
It's all too much.
He's still calling for you as you run out the door.
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fever-ish âËâč - oscar piastri
pairing: reader x oscar piastri summary: in which your boyfriend gets the flu, but also refuses to admit it w/c: 1.1k
a/n: I can't believe i've been writing fics for so long and it never occurred to me to write a sick fic when it's literally one of my most fav tropes EVER. anyways consider this a piece of propaganda for my oscar piastri no1 manflu sufferer campaign.
"Hey Osc, you don't look too good."
"Well good morning to you too my beautiful girlfriend," he shoots back instantly, feigning an insulted tone.
"No, I'm being serious." You shuffle to sit up in bed, furrowing your brows as the morning light trickles in through your window and onto your boyfriend's pale face. Gently sweeping his messy hair away from his forehead, you press the back of your hand to it and find it surprisingly warm.
"Babe wake up, you feel like you've got a fever," you urge, trying to shake him awake but he only pushes your hand away sleepily and tosses over, grumbling something about needing more sleep. You sigh in defeat, figuring it would probably do him some good to get some rest and instead slip out of bed quietly to get ready.
It's only about an hour later when you're in the kitchen fixing up your breakfast, that your concern returns. You barely hear the sound of his shuffling feet since you're turned around and busied with the hissing coffee machine.
"Morning," he mumbles sleepily, though his familiar morning raspiness is replaced by a painful-sounding soreness. Whipping around you can't help but feel endeared by how cute he looks, flushed cheeks and bed hair.
"Morning to you too," you laugh, setting down a cup of tea for him on the counter as you sip your coffee.
"Mmf, no time for breakfast, got to get ready for work." You pause, but he's already halfway to the bathroom.
"Oscar," you say, your tone firm, "there is no way you're going to work today baby."
"What? Why not?"
You're not sure if he can see you considering his eyes are only half-open, but the irony of him standing there, stifling a sniffle, is enough for you.
"You've got the flu idiot," you huff, and he looks at you like you're the crazy one.
"No, I don't."
"Sure, and you're also not swaying side to side and semi-delirious right now, hm?" You're trying to toe the line between teasing and soothing, not sure how much bullying he can take in this state - even if it is out of love. You pad your way over to where he's standing, grovelling silently.
"I'm fine, I need to go in," he sighs stubbornly as you intertwine one hand with his, the other coming up to cup his pale, warm face. For the first time that morning, he opens his eyes fully and all it takes is one pleading look from you for him to give in.
"Fine," he mumbles, and he bends slightly to get a kiss from you, confused when you pull away. "Morning breath?"
"You're literally sick," you laugh, shaking your head before giving him a soft peck on his cheek and sending him back to bed.
You decide to take the day off as well, despite your boyfriend's protests that he "can look after himself just fine". Given the morning's events, you aren't going to take any risks, plus there was no way in hell you were going to give up the opportunity to witness the rare event that was your boyfriend under the influence of fever delirium. You figured he'd be pretty low maintenance anyway, after all, it was Oscar, and you'd have most of the day free to do your own thing.
The truth couldn't have been further from the opposite. It was only midday and you had already had to force your half-awake boyfriend back into bed more times than you could count. On top of that, you had not been prepared for the flu to transform him into the pickiest patient on earth - refusing to take any medicine or even a spoonful of the chicken soup you had tried your best to whip up.
Still though, you persisted, and after what seemed like hours you finally managed to get him back into bed for the last time, where he lay curled up. You had been dabbing a cold towel across his forehead for a couple of minutes, and it seemed to have soothed him enough to cause him to doze off. Gazing down at him fondly, you tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear and brought your hand down to caress his cheek. You watched as he leaned into your touch and let out a soft hum of comfort.
Setting the towel on the side table, you moved from where you were perched on the edge of the bed, figuring you should probably leave him to rest while he could. Before you could though, you felt a hand wrap around your wrist. Turning to see your boyfriend looking at you through half-lidded eyes you couldn't help but let out a low laugh.
"Where are you going?" he whined.
"You need to rest Oscar, I'll just be in the living room."
"No, please."
"Hm? What is it, do you want more soup or another cup of tea?"
"No, I want you to stay here," he sighed, grip tightening around your wrist as he made weak attempts to pull you into bed with him. You began to protest, but the sight of your boyfriend curled up and close to shivering won you over before you could.
Pulling back the covers and sitting up against the headboard, you guided his head to lie on your chest. Slowly, you ran your fingers through his hair in an attempt to soothe him back to sleep. After a couple minutes of silence, you had thought it had done the trick until he piped up again.
"I'm sorry for making you do all this." Oscar's voice was tiny, quiet, confessional and it made your heart hurt.
"Oh baby, you're not making me do anything."
"But with the medicine, all the tissues, and you even made me soup." His voice raised and you thought for a minute he might start crying.
"It's a small price to pay to make sure you're alright, need I remind you that I love you?" you laugh, trying to make light of the situation. A sick Oscar was one thing, but a crying one was a complete other you were unprepared for. Untangling your hand from the strands of his hair you moved it to rub a slow, comforting circle on his back as he lay his head back onto your chest.
"Love you too," was the last thing he mumbled before his breathing slowed, symbolising to you that he had finally fallen asleep. Sure, you could've gotten up but at that point, you were far too comfortable underneath the heat-radiating mass that was your feverish boyfriend. Plus the things he had said still rang in your head and, even if they had been little more than delirious ramblings, and even if he woke up tomorrow with no memory of ever saying them - you felt lucky for even hearing them at all.
#oscar piastri#op81#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri oneshot#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri fic#mclaren#formula 1#fanfic#purinfelix#jet writes â
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pretending as always â ryomen sukuna.
"Sukuna." you whispered, your voice barely more than a breath. "Do you ever think about us? About how things used to be?" He didnât answer right away, his gaze fixed on the ceiling as if the answer was written somewhere in the shadows. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, almost resigned. "Things change. People change." "I know, I know." you replied, your fingers tracing the outline of his hand resting on your waist. "But I miss it. I miss us. The way we were before⊠everything."
GENRE: alternate universe - modern au!;
WARNING/S: angst, toxic romance, hurt/no comfort, cheating, unhappy marriage, crying, hurt, sadness, pain, character death, grief, unhappy ending, depictions of broken marriage, depiction of grief, depiction of cheating, depiction of death, depiction of loneliness, mention of grief, mention of misery, mention of loneliness, cheating husband! sukuna, long suffering wife! reader;
WORD COUNT: 10k words
NOTE: the thought bubble says 'things change, people change.'; the playlist for this chapter alone was just so angsty. like from i'm not the only one to glimpse of us, i really went through it writing this. i decided to write only one sad fic because i feel like putting out casual, together and thirty nine almost at the same time was just really criminal of me to do. so i hope you enjoy this, though!!! i love you all <3
masterlist
kayu's playlist - side 900;
if you want to, tip! <3
â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«
ANOTHER HUFF RELEASES FROM YOUR MOUTH. You donât remember how many youâve smoked today. But you were sure that it was beyond one pack. This was the only time you could be alone, to think for yourself. To have control. The control youâve been craving for years and years, one that you will never truly have again. You didnât need someone to see you out here, to tell you no, to worry about your health. You didnât need that. Not right now. You needed to be alone. You needed silence.Â
You sat on the balcony of your lavish penthouse, gazing out at the shimmering lights of Tokyo. The city was alive, vibrant, a testament to the empire your husband, Ryomen Sukuna, had built. He was the man behind the biggest conglomerate in Japanâa titan in the world of business, feared and respected in equal measure. And you were his wife.Â
Once upon a time, you had been someone too. A doctor with a promising career, surrounded by friends, fulfilled by the life you had created with your own hands. Your days were spent saving lives, making a difference, and your nights were filled with laughter and tenderness with colleagues who had become family. You were driven, passionate, and proud of the work you did. But now, as you sat in the lap of luxury, the woman you once were seemed like a distant memory.
Now, you were just his wife.Â
It wasnât that you didnât love himâyou did. You loved him more than words could express. Sukuna was everything to you, and being his wife brought a kind of happiness you hadnât known was possible. Yet, there was a gnawing emptiness, a void that had grown over the years. As much as you loved him, as much as he adored you in his own way, you knew the truth.
Ryomen Sukuna was not a man who could be kept down, not even for you. He was a force of nature, unstoppable, always striving for more, always looking beyond what he already had. His ambition was a double-edged sword, driving him to unimaginable heights but also pushing him further away from the simple life you sometimes yearned for.Â
There were nights when he didnât come home, when he was out sealing deals or attending extravagant parties where you were merely an accessory. Youâd watch him from a distance, surrounded by admirers, his presence commanding attention wherever he went. He thrived in that world of power and influence, and you knew that no matter how much he loved you, that world would always be his first love.
You tried to be content with the life you had with him. After all, you had everything most people could only dream ofâwealth, status, and the affections of a man who could have had anyone but chose you. But deep down, you couldnât shake the feeling that you had lost yourself in the process. You werenât the doctor anymore, the woman with her own dreams and aspirations. You were simply Mrs. Ryomen Sukuna, a title that came with its own set of expectations and sacrifices.
As the night grew darker, you wondered what it would take to feel like yourself again. Could you ever reclaim the life you had before Sukuna, or had you given up too much to ever go back? And if you did, would you lose him in the process? It was a question that haunted you, even as you curled up in the luxurious sheets of your bed, waiting for him to return home. You loved him. But sometimes, love wasnât enough.
Your husband was a man to loveâeccentric and electric, a living embodiment of wonder wrapped in the form of a man. His presence was magnetic, a force that drew people in, leaving them captivated by his every word, his every move. Ryomen Sukuna was a personality larger than life, his energy palpable, his enigma undeniable. He filled every room he entered, his laughter loud and contagious, a stark contrast to his own brother, Jin, who was quiet, composed, and unassuming.
Where Jin blended into the background, Sukuna demanded attention. Everyone who met him felt the spark, the electricity that seemed to radiate from him. He was unpredictable, always a step ahead, always thinking of the next big thing. His mind worked in ways that left others in awe, trying to keep up with the whirlwind that was his thoughts and ideas. Loving him was like holding onto a stormâthrilling, dangerous, and consuming.
But for all his vibrance and charm, Sukuna was still a man of cold realities. His work came first, always. No matter how much you wanted to be his priority, the empire he built was what he poured most of his energy into. He was often distant, consumed by the responsibilities that came with being the man at the top. Days would pass where you barely saw him, where his presence in your life felt more like a memory than a reality.
Yet, when he did give you his time, it was genuine and honest. Those rare moments were when you saw the man beneath the mask, the one who cared for you in his own complicated way. His touch was real, his words sincere, and in those fleeting minutes, you felt the depth of his love, even if it was buried under layers of ambition and duty.
There were nights, though, when he would come to bed, slipping under the covers beside you, and in those moments, he was truly yours. Those were the times you held onto, the nights where the world outside his office door ceased to exist, where the only thing that mattered was the feel of his warmth next to you.
His arm around your waist, his breath on your neckâthese were the small, intimate moments that made the loneliness bearable. In the quiet of the night, Sukuna would pull you close, and for those few hours, he was just a man who loved his wife, not the untouchable titan he had become during the day.
But as the dawn approached, you knew he would slip away again, back into the world that demanded so much of him. Those nights were a bittersweet reminder that while he was yours, you would never fully have him. Still, you cherished them, holding onto the hope that maybe one day, the man who captivated the world would find his way back to you, not just in the shadows of the night, but in the light of day as well.
If you tried slyly, you could sometimes extract details about his lifeâsmall, fragmented pieces of the puzzle that was Ryomen Sukuna. A hint here, a passing comment there. But even after so many years of marriage, he wouldnât budge.
He was a vault, his thoughts locked away in a place you couldnât reach, no matter how hard you tried. There were times you sat across from him, watching his expressions, hoping to catch a glimpse of what was going on behind those sharp eyes, but he was impenetrable. You didnât know what he was thinking half the time.Â
And as the years passed, you began to realize a painful truth: you didnât know this man anymore. He wasnât the man you fell in love with, the one who had promised you the world with that charming smile and infectious energy. That man was a memory, fading with every passing day. The man you were married to now was a stranger, someone who wore Sukunaâs face but carried a weight and distance that hadnât been there before. He was no longer wholly yours, not anymore.
But when he wasâon those rare occasions when he let you in, when the walls came down just enough for you to feel the warmth beneath his cold exteriorâthose moments were everything. His exterior remained hard, a shield against the world and perhaps even against you, but in the quiet darkness of your bedroom, he softened.
The bed you shared became a pure and sacred shrine, a place where the outside world couldnât reach, where only you and he existed. In that space, the burdens he carried were set aside, and for a fleeting moment, he was just a man, your husband, the one who still held pieces of your heart.
The warmth of his body against yours, the way he would pull you close as if you were his anchorâthese were the moments that reminded you of the love that still lingered between you. It was as if, in that bed, time stood still, and the distance that had grown between you disappeared, leaving only the two of you, as you once were.
And though those moments were few and far between, they were enough to keep you holding on, hoping that perhaps, one day, the man you fell in love with would return to you, not just in the night, but in every aspect of your life together.
You lay beside him in the dark, feeling the weight of the silence between you. His arm was draped over your waist, his grip firm but gentle. It was one of those rare nights when he was fully present, when the business world he ruled seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you. You turned slightly, your face inches from his, searching his eyes for somethingâanythingâthat might bridge the gap that had grown between you.
"Sukuna." you whispered, your voice barely more than a breath. "Do you ever think about us? About how things used to be?"
He didnât answer right away, his gaze fixed on the ceiling as if the answer was written somewhere in the shadows. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, almost resigned. "Things change. People change."
"I know, I know." you replied, your fingers tracing the outline of his hand resting on your waist. "But I miss it. I miss us. The way we were before⊠everything."
His eyes finally met yours, and for a moment, you saw something flicker thereâregret, maybe, or a trace of the man you once knew. But it was gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by that familiar unreadable expression.
"Iâm still here. I always have been." he said, his tone matter-of-fact. "I never left. And you know that."
"Physically, yes, I know. But I justâŠ.Itâs just." you murmured, a hint of bitterness creeping into your voice. "Sukuna, itâs like I donât know you anymore. Youâre not the man I married. Youâre not the man who promised me the world. And I donât know where he is. And I want him back.â
He didnât flinch, but you felt the slight tension in his arm as he pulled you a little closer. "The world isnât what it used to be. It wonât ever be what it was, you know that." he replied quietly. "And neither am I. And you know that too. But Iâm still here. Iâm still your husband.â
You sighed, feeling the tears prick at the corners of your eyes. "But when youâre here, like this⊠itâs different. For just a moment, it feels like nothingâs changed. Like itâs just you and me, the way it used to be. I wish we could stay here, like this, forever."
He didnât respond right away, but you felt his grip on you tighten, his thumb brushing softly against your skin as if to reassure you. "This bed, our bedâŠ." he said slowly, his voice rougher than usual, "itâs our sanctuary. Itâs the one place I can forget about everything else. But you know I canât stay here forever. Not when the world calls me, not when it needs me.â
"I know that." you whispered, your voice cracking slightly. You needed him too. You needed your husband. And he will never see it. Not even when he tries. "But I canât help wishing you would. That maybe, just once, youâd choose me over everything else. Like you used to.â
He was silent for a long moment, his breath warm against your hair. When he finally spoke, there was a softness in his voice that you rarely heard. "If I could, I would. Youâre the only thing that keeps me grounded, that reminds me Iâm still human. But I canât give you all of me. Not anymore. I have things to do too.â
You closed your eyes, letting the tears fall silently. "I just wish⊠I wish youâd let me in, Sukuna. I want to know what youâre thinking, what youâre feeling. I want to know the man Iâm sharing this bed with."
He didnât answer right away, and you knew he wouldnât. Instead, he pulled you closer, his lips brushing against your forehead in a rare, tender gesture. "Iâm here now, you know?" he whispered. "Letâs just⊠stay in this moment, just for tonight."
You nodded, unable to find the words to say anything more. You clung to him, holding onto the warmth of his body, the rare softness of his embrace, knowing that when morning came, he would be gone againâpulled back into the world that demanded so much of him. But for now, you had this, and it would have to be enough.
It sounds more romantic than it actually is in reality. What you shared with Sukuna was far from the idyllic love story others might imagine. It was a volatile existence, a solitary one. A lonely existence. There were no whispered secrets in the dark, no playful banter or stolen glances across the room. There were no soft gazes filled with unspoken affection, no tender moments that lingered long after they ended. With Sukuna, you got the raw, unfiltered version of himâa man stripped of any pretense or facade.
Sukuna was not a man of many words, and that held true even during the most intimate moments between you. He was silent, his focus intense, his mind seemingly elsewhere even as he was with you. There were no sweet nothings exchanged, no promises of forever whispered into your ear. He was a man of action, not words, and even less so when you were in bed together.
Yet, despite the lack of verbal communication, there was one thing he always maintainedâeye contact. His gaze never wavered, never strayed from yours, and in those moments, you saw something in his eyes that you rarely saw anywhere else. His eyes were earnest, and that sincerity was the closest thing to vulnerability he ever allowed himself to show. It was as if, in those brief moments of connection, he was telling you without words what he couldnât bring himself to say aloud.
But even that small comfort was fleeting, a temporary solace in a relationship that often felt more like a battle than a partnership. You loved him, but it was a love laced with pain and longing, a love that left you feeling more alone than ever. Because while his eyes might have been honest, they also held a distance that you couldnât bridge, a reminder that even in his most vulnerable moments, Sukuna was still just out of reach.
So you took what you could getâthe warmth of his body against yours, the rare tenderness in his gazeâand tried to ignore the aching loneliness that gnawed at you in the silence that followed. Because at the end of the day, you knew that this was the only version of Sukuna you would ever truly have. And for better or worse, you had to make peace with that.
You lay there in the quiet aftermath, your body still humming from the intensity of it all. But as the warmth began to fade, reality seeped back in. The silence between you was heavy, filled with all the things left unsaid. There was no gentle touch, no soft embrace to pull you closer. Sukuna remained beside you, but there was a distance, an unspoken barrier that kept you apart even when you were lying inches away from each other.
This was your lifeâa series of fleeting connections punctuated by long stretches of solitude. You had learned to navigate this existence, to find comfort in the small moments, even if they were far from the grand romance you had once imagined. But it was a lonely existence, one that often left you feeling hollow, as if a piece of you had been carved out and left behind somewhere along the way.
There was no pillow talk with Sukuna, no lingering in the soft afterglow. Not like it used to be, when you greeted the morning light talking and talking. The man beside you was not one for such things. He was not the type to reach out and hold you close, to whisper sweet reassurances that everything would be okay. He simply wasnât built that way, and you had long since stopped expecting him to be.
Instead, there was just the raw version of himâthe man who was silent in his love, who showed it in ways that were hard to decipher, in ways that often left you questioning if it was there at all. His love wasnât gentle or easy; it was fierce, consuming, and at times, almost indifferent. But it was there, hidden beneath layers of responsibility, power, and the iron will that had made him who he was.
Sukunaâs eyes were the only place where you could see that truth, where you could catch a glimpse of the man beneath the exterior. Even during sex, when his body was moving against yours with a deliberate intensity, his eyes stayed locked on yours, never wavering.
There was something disarming in that gaze, something that spoke of an honesty he couldnât express any other way. It was in those moments, brief as they were, that you felt a connection, a thread of intimacy that tied you to him, even if it was fragile and frayed.
But as much as you clung to those moments, they were never enough to fill the void. The bed, which had once felt like a sanctuary, now seemed more like a cold, empty place where two strangers shared space but not lives. You would turn to face him, hoping for somethingâa word, a touch, anything to bridge the gapâbut he remained still, his mind already miles away, lost in thoughts you could never reach.
And so you would close your eyes, trying to hold onto the fleeting warmth of his body next to yours, trying to convince yourself that this was enough, that you could live with the silence, the loneliness, the distance. Because at the end of the day, he was still the man you loved, the man who had once promised you the world.
But that promise had faded, just like the warmth that now ebbed away in the cold, empty silence of the room. And as much as it hurt, you knew that this was all there would ever beâa man you could never fully have, a love that was always just out of reach, and a life lived in the spaces between what was and what could have been.
You cry a lot about how life has let you suffer this way. The tears come in waves, usually in the quiet hours of the night when the weight of it all feels too heavy to bear. You cry for the life you thought you would have, for the love that feels like it's slipping through your fingers, for the man who promised you everything but gave you only fragments. The pain of it all has become a constant companion, a dull ache that lingers even in your happiest moments, because you know, deep down, that things will never be what you once dreamed they could be.
You knew about the women. Youâve always known. The whispers that reached your ears, the subtle changes in his demeanor, the way he would smell of a perfume that wasnât yours. You knew about the women he took to hotels, the ones he wined and dined in the finest restaurants, the ones he spoiled with gifts and attention that you used to believe were reserved for you alone. You knew about the strip clubs, the fleeting kisses at bars, the meaningless trysts that filled the void you couldnât seem to reach.
But knowing and seeing were two different things.
The image before you feels like a knife to the gut, twisting with a cruel precision. Sheâs beautiful, laughing at something Sukuna has whispered into her ear. Theyâre sitting too close, his hand resting on her thigh as though it belongs there.
His expression is relaxed, the mask he wears with you completely gone. This is who he really is, you think to yourself. You could feel this bitter realization curling in your chest. You feel like you were going to be sick.
For a moment, your legs threaten to give way beneath you. The restaurant is dimly lit, the low hum of conversation and clinking silverware suddenly drowned out by the rush of blood in your ears. Youâve been here before. Itâs one of his favoritesâone you thought was yours too, where he used to look at you with that same easy smile.
Your heart hammers against your ribs, urging you to flee, to turn away before the pain can deepen. You take a step back, and then another, the darkness of the entrance swallowing you whole as you move further from the scene. Itâs as if youâre in a dream, your body moving on autopilot, one step after another, until youâre out on the street, the cool night air hitting your skin like a jolt.
You keep walking, eyes unfocused, the city lights blurring into a haze of colors. The truth is, you donât know where youâre going. All you know is that you canât stop moving. Because if you stop, if you allow yourself to think, to feel, the walls youâve built around your heart will collapse, and youâll be left with nothing but the agony of what youâve lost. Or perhaps, of what you never truly had.
You knew everything. And yet, you pretended as always, especially when he came home. Because he always did. No matter how many nights he spent in the arms of someone else, no matter how many times he broke your heart with his affairs, he always came home to you. And you clung to that, as painful as it was, because it was the one thing you had leftâthe knowledge that, for whatever reason, he chose to come back to you.
You knew everything. And yet, you pretended as always, especially when he came home. Because he always did. No matter how many nights he spent in the arms of someone else, no matter how many times he broke your heart with his affairs, he always came home to you.
And you pathetically clung to that, as painful as it was, because it was the one thing you had leftâthe knowledge that, for whatever reason, he chose to come back to you. That he'll always choose to come back to you. And only you.
The sound of his key turning in the lock was your cue to slip the mask into place, smoothing out the cracks in your facade. You could hear the soft rustle of his coat as he shrugged it off, the faint smell of that foreign perfume clinging to the air. It was like a slap in the face, but you swallowed the bitterness down, forcing yourself to stay calm.
âHey.â he called out, his voice casual, as though nothing were amiss. As though he hadnât just spent hours with someone else.
âHey.â you replied, keeping your tone light, as if you hadnât been waiting in silence, wondering who he was with, what she looked like, if she made him laugh the way you used to.
He stepped into the room, his gaze brushing over you, taking in the sight of you curled up on the couch with a book in your hands. It was a scene of domestic tranquility, one youâd perfected over the years. Youâd become a master at hiding the turmoil beneath the surface, at pretending that everything was fine.
âHow was your night?â you asked, the words slipping out easily, as if they werenât laced with the weight of unspoken truths.
âBusy.â he replied, moving toward you. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to lean into him, to savor the warmth of his presence. This was the part you held ontoâthe part where he came home, where he chose you, if only for a few fleeting hours. âDid a lot of meetings. It was dull. Like always.â
But even as he pulled away and headed to the bedroom, you couldnât help but feel the coldness seep back in, the emptiness that settled in the pit of your stomach. You knew heâd be gone again tomorrow, off to chase whatever thrill he found in the arms of someone else.Â
Still, you clung to that tiny thread of hope, the one that told you he would return. Because as long as he came home, as long as he kept choosing you, there was a part of you that could pretendâpretend that it was enough, that you were enough. You knew that you were tearing yourself apart. Apart from this man. But you were stuck. You didnât know how to get out. Not when you canât bear separation.
It was a cruel cycle, one that left you feeling shattered and hollow, but one you couldnât break free from. You pretended because it was easier than confronting the truth, easier than acknowledging that the man you loved was also the man who was tearing you apart. You pretended because you wanted to believe that, despite everything, there was still something left between you, something worth holding on to.
Because as much as he hurt you, as much as he used other women to fill whatever void he was running from, you knew one thing with absolute certainty: he loved you. He might have been distant, cold, and unfaithful, but that love was there, buried beneath the layers of deceit and betrayal. It was a twisted, painful love, one that hurt more than it healed, but it was real. And thatâs what made it so hard to walk away.
He loved you, and it hurt you. It hurt because that love wasnât enough to stop him from seeking out others, from indulging in pleasures that had nothing to do with you. It hurt because that love didnât protect you from the heartache, didnât shield you from the loneliness that came from sharing a bed with someone who was only half there.
But it was love nonetheless, a sick, unadulterated, gut-wrenching love you can never truly escape even if you wanted to. and you clung to it with everything you had, because without it, you werenât sure who you would be anymore.
So you cried, and you pretended, and you waited for him to finish his shower, knowing that when he did, you would smile, you would act as if nothing was wrong, as if your heart wasnât breaking a little more each day. Because you loved him, too, and that love was the only thing holding you together, even as it threatened to tear you apart.
The stairs creaked with every step, and you quickly wiped the tears from your cheeks, forcing yourself to take a deep breath. You knew the routine by nowâhow to mask the pain, how to put on a smile that didnât quite reach your eyes. The sound of his footsteps echoed through the steps, and you braced yourself, slipping into the role you had perfected over the years. Heâd gotten out of the shower and dressed.
Sukuna walked back into the living room, his presence filling the space like a storm cloud. He glanced at you briefly, his expression unreadable as he walked in front of you. You could still smell the faint scent of a perfume that wasnât yours, the remnants of a night you knew all too well. It was as if he was mocking you. It was as if he wanted you to know. But you didnât say anything. You never did.
âDid you have dinner yet?â you ask him, your voice steady despite the tightness in your chest. âThereâs still some soba I made for dinner.â
He hums in response, reaching for your hand, his touch warm but somehow distant. âMaybe later, Iâll heat it up myself. Let me stay here with you for a bit.â
You nod, pretending to be satisfied with his answer, even though you know itâs a lie. âOkay, thatâs fine.â
You make some space for him to sit beside you, but instead, he lowers his head onto your lap, his body stretching out along the couch. The gesture is familiar, almost comforting, but tonight, it feels like a weight pressing down on your chest. You feel the bile rise in your throat as he closes his eyes, humming softly to himself, as if this moment is as peaceful for him as it is tormenting for you.
You force your fingers to move, to edge along the tips of his fuchsia-colored hair, the strands soft beneath your touch. The motion is automatic, a habit born from nights like these, where you pretended that everything was still okay. But as you purse your lips into a tight line, trying to keep your composure, you feel the tears threatening to spill over, the pain clawing at the walls youâve built around your heart.
Not now, you tell yourself. Not now. You canât break, not here, not while heâs with you.
You swallow hard, pushing down the surge of emotions that threaten to rise to the surface, and speak in a voice you barely recognize as your own. âYou worked hard.â
He opens his eyes, his gaze meeting yours in the dim light of the room. âSo did you.â he whispers, his tone soft, almost tender.
His words, if they were meant to comfort you, only deepen the ache inside you. You bite down on the inside of your cheek, forcing a small, hollow smile as you continue to stroke his hair. Because thatâs all you can doâpretend that this moment is enough, that his presence here is enough to make up for all the nights heâs been away, all the lies youâve told yourself just to keep going.
He closes his eyes again, sighing softly, and you watch him, your fingers never faltering in their gentle rhythm. And as you sit there, with his head in your lap and the soba cooling on the kitchen counter, you realize that this is what youâve becomeâsomeone who is willing to live in the spaces he leaves behind, someone who clings to the small moments he offers, even when theyâre built on a foundation of lies.
âI missed you, Sukuna.â you whispered, your voice trembling despite your best efforts to keep it steady.
âI know.â he replied to you, in a tone that knows. A tone that reveals it all. He knew that you know, you werenât a fool. You were too smart for it. And yet, here you are. With him, his lying, selfish self, loved by you. âIâm here now.â
You nodded, knowing that was the most you would get from him. âIâm glad youâre home.â
He didnât respond, but you could feel the tension in his body slowly easing, his breathing becoming more relaxed. You knew this was as close as he would come to letting you in, and you tried to take comfort in it, even though it wasnât enough.
You lay there in silence, your hand still resting on his chest, listening to the rhythmic sound of his breathing. You wanted to say more, to tell him how much it hurt, how much you wished things could be different. But you knew it wouldnât change anything. He would always come home, but he would never truly be yours.
So you stayed quiet, pretending for him, for yourself, for the fragile love that still tied you to him, even as it slowly unraveled. You pretended that this was enough, that the fleeting moments of closeness were worth the nights spent alone, the tears shed in silence, the knowledge that he would never be wholly yours.
And in the dark, as you lay beside him, you let yourself believe the lie, if only for a little while. Because sometimes, pretending was the only thing that kept you going.
â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«
EVERYTHING CHANGED WHEN YOU HEARD THOSE WORDS. The doctor's words echoed in your mind as you drove home, your knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel. "A few months, at most," he'd said, and you'd nodded, thanked him even, before walking out of the clinic in a daze. The sky outside seemed unchanged, the world continuing its indifferent spin, while inside you, something had irrevocably shifted.
When you finally made it home, you sat down, the weight of everything settling onto your shoulders like a heavy blanket. The familiar surroundings seemed distant, like you were seeing them through a fog. The elegant decor, the soft lightingâeverything was perfect, just as it always was, but it felt like a set piece now, like something you were watching from afar.
You tried to think of what you should do next, what anyone would do with such news. Should you cry? Scream? But nothing came. Instead, a strange sense of calm washed over you, like the stillness after a storm. Maybe this was itâGod's way of freeing you from this misery, this life youâd never truly lived.
A miserable existence, thatâs what it was. A life spent in the shadow of Ryomen Sukuna, the man who was everything to everyone, and nothing to you. The man who had captured your heart and soul, only to lock them away somewhere deep inside, where they withered, starved of the love you so desperately needed. Youâd given everything to be his wife, to play the part in the perfect narrative heâd constructed, and in the process, youâd lost yourself.
The relief that bubbled up inside you was unexpected, but undeniable. You wouldnât have to suffer much longer. No more pretending, no more aching for a love that would never be yours. No more nights spent staring at the ceiling, wondering why you werenât enough. Soon, it would all be over. You wouldnât have to endure this life, this love, for much longer.
You decided then and thereâyou wouldnât tell him. What would be the point? He was a man consumed by his empire, by his power, and you were just another piece of his world, another part of his success. Telling him would only disrupt the perfect narrative he had written for himself, and you couldnât bear to see the indifference in his eyes when he realized that your story was ending.
No, you would continue to be his wife. You would play your part until the very end, letting yourself fade quietly from the narrative, just as you had faded from his heart. And maybe, when it was all over, when you were gone, he might feel somethingâa twinge of regret, perhaps. But that didnât matter. Not anymore.
In the stillness of your home, a peculiar sense of peace enveloped you. The silence was heavy, but it was a silence of your own making, one that spoke of an end and a release. You had loved Sukuna with a depth that was both profound and consuming. Your love for him was a force that had shaped your days and your nights, driving you to care for him in ways that went unnoticed and unappreciated.Â
But as you faced the reality of your impending departure, a bittersweet calm settled over you. The weight of your unrequited love, the fatigue of constantly giving without receiving, was finally lifting. You had poured your heart into a relationship where your love was met with indifference and infidelity. You had tried to make him see, tried to make him understand, but in the end, the love you gave was never truly reciprocated in the way you had hoped.
Now, as the days dwindle and the finality of your situation becomes undeniable, you found a strange comfort in knowing that the end was near. The thought of liberation from a love that had only ever been one-sided was both heart-wrenching and soothing. You were tired of the endless cycle of giving and waiting, of hoping for something that would never come. And in the quiet of your home, you felt a sense of relief at the prospect of being free from this endless cycle of emotional exhaustion.
That night, when Sukuna returned home, you greeted him with a facade of normalcy. Despite the heavy burden of your knowledge, you smiled at him with a warmth that belied your inner turmoil. You continued to dote on him, serving him his favorite dishes with the same loving care you always had. Every gesture, every touch, every look was a continuation of the role you had played for so long.
You carried on as if nothing had changed, maintaining the pretense of a happy, loving wife. Your actions were deliberate, a final testament to the depth of your love and the extent of your sacrifice. You wanted to give him one last glimpse of the love he had taken for granted, to remind him of what he would be losing, even if he would never fully grasp it until it was too late.
You went through the motions of daily life, engaging with him, listening to his stories, laughing at his jokes. The facade was not just for him, but for yourself as wellâa way to preserve a semblance of normalcy amidst the chaos of your emotions. You wanted to leave him with the memory of a wife who had loved him deeply, who had cared for him until the very end, despite everything.
In the quiet moments alone, after he had gone to bed, you would sit in the darkness, feeling the weight of your impending departure. You would reflect on the years you had spent loving him, on the moments of joy and sorrow that had shaped your relationship. And as you faced the end, you found a strange sort of solace in knowing that you would finally be free from the constraints of a love that had never truly been mutual.
The peace you felt was not without pain, but it was a relief nonetheless. You had loved Sukuna with all that you were, and now, as you prepared to leave, you took comfort in the knowledge that you would soon be free from the sadness and longing that had defined your existence.
Sukuna looked up from his plate, his gaze lingering on you with a mixture of curiosity and concern. He could see a flicker of something in your eyes that he hadnât seen in a long time.
âYou seem... unusually happy tonight,â he said, his voice carrying a hint of both surprise and suspicion. âIs something going on?â
You met his gaze, a faint smile on your lips that didnât quite reach your eyes. âItâs been a long time since we had a dinner like this, just the two of us.â
Sukunaâs brow furrowed as he studied you. âYeah, it has. Weâve been so wrapped up in our own worlds that itâs easy to forget what it was like before everything got so complicated.â
You nodded, your fingers nervously twisting the edge of your napkin. âIâve missed thisâbeing with you like this, without all the distractions and complications. It feels like a rare moment of normalcy in the chaos.â
Sukunaâs expression softened, but there was an edge of concern in his eyes. âYou seem more at peace than usual. Is everything okay? Youâve been acting... different lately.â
You hesitated, the weight of your secret pressing down on you. âIâve just been reflecting on things. Itâs strange how time changes everything, how we lose sight of what really matters until itâs almost too late.â
Sukunaâs gaze grew more intense, his unease palpable. âReflecting on what? Youâve been acting like thereâs something youâre not telling me.â
You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to keep your voice steady. âItâs just... Iâve been thinking about how weâve lost touch with each other. How weâve let life get in the way of what really matters.â
Sukunaâs eyes searched for yours, trying to grasp the depth of your words. âAre you saying thereâs something wrong? Something youâre not telling me?â
You looked away, your smile faltering. âItâs not about something wrong. Itâs about realizing that sometimes, we need to appreciate the moments we have, even if theyâre fleeting.â
Sukunaâs confusion deepened, his concern growing. âYouâre scaring me. Why are you talking like this? Whatâs going on?â
You forced yourself to meet his gaze, your heart aching with the weight of the truth you couldnât reveal. âIâve just been feeling... reflective. Itâs hard to explain, but Iâm grateful for these moments, even if theyâre all we have left.â
Sukuna reached out, his hand gently grasping yours. âAre you trying to tell me something? Youâre acting like this is a goodbye.â
You pulled your hand away, the pain in your chest almost unbearable. âItâs not a goodbye. Itâs just... a realization. I want to make the most of the time we have, to cherish these moments together.â
Sukunaâs face fell, his worry evident. âYouâre making it sound like something terrible is happening. If thereâs something youâre hiding, you need to tell me.â
You shook your head, forcing yourself to smile through the tears that threatened to spill. âItâs not about hiding anything. Itâs about acknowledging that even when things are difficult, we can still find moments of happiness. I wanted tonight to be one of those moments.â
Sukuna looked at you with a mixture of sadness and confusion, his frustration clear. âYouâre not making any sense. Why canât you just tell me whatâs going on?â
You stood up from the table, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze any longer. You smiled at him. And even at that moment, he noticed. He noticed it didnât go up to your eyes. âI canât. Not yet. I just needed you to understand that despite everything, Iâve always cherished our time together.â
Sukuna watched you with a heart heavy with concern and regret, as you walked away from the table. "Do you still want some wine?"
"No." Sukuna whispers under his breath. "I'm fine."
â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«
YOU WERE GOOD AT PLAYING ROLES. Sukuna didn't suspect a thing. You continued playing your part, showing up at events, smiling when required, and being the perfect wife that the world expected you to be. He remained oblivious, too wrapped up in his own world to notice the subtle changesâthe way your laughter had lost its warmth, the way your eyes seemed distant, even when you looked directly at him.
He carried on with his life, his empire growing ever larger, his influence spreading like wildfire. And on the side, there was herâthe woman he met in secret, the one who made him feel alive in ways that you no longer could. He didnât care to hide it anymore, not really. He knew you knew, but in his mind, it didnât matter. You were his wife, his possession, and that was enough.
The restaurant was bathed in a warm, subdued light, its cozy ambiance a stark contrast to the storm brewing in Sukuna's heart. He sat across from his date, his smirk easy, a deliberate mask concealing the turbulent emotions beneath. His eyes roamed lazily over the flickering candlelight, his drink half-empty, the conversation flowing smoothly. It was supposed to be an escape, a fleeting distraction from the complexities of his life.
The phone buzzed on the table, its vibration slightly jarring against the relaxed hum of the evening. Sukuna glanced at it, a shadow of irritation crossing his features. He almost ignored it, but a nagging instinctâsomething primal and insistentâprompted him to check. The screen lit up with an urgent message, and as he read the words, his smirk faltered, replaced by a sudden, unsettling pallor.
His hand trembled slightly as he answered the call that followed.
âMr. Sukuna, Iâm terribly sorry to interrupt your evening. Thereâs been an emergency. Your wifeâsheâs collapsed and has been rushed to the hospital. The situation is very serious. You need to come immediately.â
Sukunaâs mind reeled, struggling to process the gravity of the message. His heart pounded furiously in his chest, a cacophony of fear and disbelief. âWhat? No, that canât be right. Are you sure? What happened?â His usual bravado turned into worrisome, strained whispers. âMy wife was healthy when I left her at home.â
âYes, Iâm certain. She was rushed in a couple of minutes ago. The doctors are doing everything they can, but itâs critical. Please come to the hospital right away.â
The call ended abruptly, leaving Sukuna staring blankly at his phone. The realization of what he had just heard began to sink in, each beat of his heart echoing with a growing dread. Without a word, he stood up abruptly, his chair scraping loudly against the floor.
âSuku? Whatâs going on? Where are you going?â Her face is a mask of confusion and concern. âSukuââ
 âIâI have to go. Itâs an emergency.â His voice barely more than a whisper, laden with panic.
He didnât wait for any further questions or explanations. His mind was a chaotic whirl of thoughts as he left the restaurant, the cool night air doing little to calm the storm inside him. The drive to the hospital was a blur, the city lights streaking by in a disorienting haze. Every turn, every red light seemed to stretch time, amplifying his growing sense of dread.
Inside the emergency room, the atmosphere was clinical and cold, a stark contrast to the warmth of the evening he had just left behind. The cacophony of beeping monitors and hurried voices created a symphony of chaos that matched his inner turmoil. He pushed past the reception desk, barely acknowledging the questions they asked him. All he could think about was reaching you, seeing you, and holding onto whatever fragments of hope remained.
âSir, you need to wait here. Weâre in the middle of an emergency procedure.â The nurse said firmly, as Sukuna tried to approach.
Sukunaâs eyes fixed on the form lying still on the gurney, a sight that twisted his insides with a profound ache. The resuscitation efforts were intense, a desperate dance between life and death. He felt a profound sense of helplessness, the cold efficiency of the medical staff contrasting sharply with his own emotional chaos.
 âPlease, I need to be with her. I have toââ His voice breaking, a raw plea. âPlease let me throughââ
âSir, we need to focus on the procedure. You canât be in the way.â
Sukuna was forced to retreat, his heart sinking as he slumped against the wall, his fists clenched in frustration and fear. The minutes dragged on, each second feeling like an eternity. He stared at the closed doors of the emergency room, the gnawing fear that he might lose you forever consuming him.
In the cold, stark hallway of the hospital, Sukuna felt his world unraveling. The veneer of control and dominance he had always relied on was gone, replaced by a gut-wrenching vulnerability he had never before experienced. He was left alone with his thoughts, confronting the painful truth that he had been given a chance to face his own failures and regrets.
Everything they could, they triedâbut it wasnât enough. He could see it in their eyes, in the frantic movements that were becoming more desperate by the second. He shouted at them, his voice rising to a roar, demanding they do something, anything. He wasnât used to feeling powerless, wasnât used to being afraid. But in that moment, as he watched you lying there, unmoving, unresponsive, fear gripped him in a way it never had before.
He couldnât lose you. Not like this. Not now, not when heâd taken you for granted for so long. The realization hit him like a punch to the gut. You had always been there, always been his, and heâd never truly appreciated it. And now, as he watched the life drain from you, he felt something he hadnât felt in a long timeâgenuine, bone-deep terror.
When the nurses finally stopped, when they turned to him with those solemn expressions, he knew. They didnât have to say a word. He pushed past them anyway, falling to his knees beside your bed, his hand grasping yours, still warm but lifeless. You were slipping through his fingers. He didnât want to free you â not yet. He needs you. He still wants you.
âDonât do this, not yet.â he whispered, his voice breaking, something it never did. âYou canât leave me. You donât get to leave me.â
But you were already gone. The silence in the room was deafening, and for the first time in his life, Ryomen Sukuna felt utterly and completely helpless.Â
Sukuna stayed by your side long after the nurses and doctors left the room, long after the machines were turned off, and the sterile, mechanical sounds faded into an unbearable silence. He gripped your hand tightly, as if somehow, by sheer force of will, he could pull you back from the brink, undo what had just happened. But the truth was inescapableâyou were gone.
The world outside continued to turn, indifferent to the agony that churned inside him. Sukuna, the man who had always been in control, who had never feared anything or anyone, was now paralyzed by a fear so intense it consumed him. He had never imagined a moment like this, a moment where he would lose something so irreplaceable.
Memories flashed through his mindâmoments he had dismissed, overlooked, or taken for granted. The way you would smile at him when he came home, the quiet dinners you shared, the way you had always been there, even when he hadnât deserved it. He had grown so used to your presence that he never considered what it would be like without you.
He had thought he could live his life as he pleased, that you would always be there, in the background, silently enduring whatever he put you through. But now, with you gone, the enormity of his loss hit him with full force. It wasnât just that you were goneâit was that you were gone because of him. He had driven you to this, with his neglect, his infidelity, his arrogance.
His chest tightened, and for the first time in years, Sukuna felt the sting of tears. He couldnât remember the last time he had criedâif he ever had. But now, the tears came unbidden, a raw and overwhelming response to the pain that was tearing him apart. He had lost you, and it was his fault. There was no one else to blame, no way to undo what he had done.
He thought about all the things he would never get to say to you, all the apologies that would never leave his lips. He had always believed he had timeâtime to make things right, time to explain, time to finally show you that you mattered to him. But now, that time was gone, and with it, any chance of redemption.
Sukuna stayed there, holding your hand, until the nurses gently told him that he had to let go, that it was time to say goodbye. He didnât want toâhe wasnât ready to. But he knew there was no choice. Slowly, reluctantly, he released your hand, feeling a cold emptiness settle into the space where you had once been.
As he walked out of the hospital, the reality of his life without you began to sink in. The thought of returning to his grand, empty houseâone that had always been a symbol of his success, his powerânow felt like walking into a tomb. You were no longer there to greet him, no longer there to fill the space with your presence.
And for the first time, Sukuna understood what it meant to be truly alone. All the wealth, the power, the womenânone of it mattered anymore. The one thing that had truly mattered was gone, and he was left with nothing but the echo of his own regrets.
As he stepped into his car, the weight of your absence pressed down on him, suffocating in its intensity. He had never been afraid of anything before. But now, as he faced a future without you, he was terrified.
Sukuna sat in the driverâs seat of his car, the door still open as if he might somehow find the strength to run back into the hospital and reverse what had happened. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, knuckles white, and the first sob broke through his defenses, ragged and harsh. He slammed his fists against the wheel, the sound echoing in the empty garage, the pain in his chest mirroring the bruising force of his punches.
Each hit was a release, a desperate attempt to rid himself of the unbearable grief and regret that had settled over him like a heavy fog. Tears streamed down his face, blurring his vision, and he felt a profound sense of helplessness that he had never known. He had always been in control, always been the one to dictate terms, to manipulate situations to his favor. But now, as he sat there, he was powerless, unable to change anything, unable to bring you back.
In the midst of his torment, memories began to flood backâpainful, vivid recollections that he had buried under layers of indifference and self-absorption. He remembered the way you would spend hours in the kitchen, cooking meals with a dedication that went beyond mere obligation. You had always taken care of him, preparing dishes that you knew he loved, ensuring the fridge was stocked with his favorite foods.
He could picture you now, in the kitchen of your shared home, chopping vegetables, stirring pots, your face focused and serene. The way youâd hum softly to yourself, the warmth of the kitchen contrasting with the coldness that seemed to have crept into his heart over the years. Every meal you made was a labor of love, a testament to the care and consideration you had for him, even when he had taken it all for granted.
And then there were the times youâd prepare extra food, stock the fridge with ready-made meals, knowing that his schedule was unpredictable, that he might be too busy to eat properly. Youâd filled the refrigerator with care, making sure he would have something to sustain him, even when you couldnât be there.Â
He should have noticed the subtle changes in your routine. The house had been unusually pristine lately, the surfaces spotless, the floors immaculate. It wasnât like you to maintain such a high level of cleanliness without a reason. It was as if you had been preparing the space, ensuring that everything was in perfect order, as if you were orchestrating a smooth transition for him, even after you were gone.
The closets were tidier than usual, the clothes organized and neatly hung. He realized now that you had cleaned out your own belongings with quiet efficiency, not because you were preparing to leave in the conventional sense, but because you wanted to spare him the burden. You had sorted through your things, reducing the mess he would have to deal with, thinking ahead so that your death wouldnât leave him grappling with the physical remnants of your life.
The laundry was always done, the baskets emptied and folded with a care that went beyond routine. You had taken care of it all, ensuring that he wouldnât be confronted with chores and tasks that might remind him of the void you were leaving behind. The house had been more than just cleanâit had been meticulously arranged to make his life easier, to ensure that the practicalities of your absence wouldnât add to his grief.
In the midst of his grief, the realization struck him with the force of a revelation. You had been planning for this moment all along, your every action a carefully orchestrated preparation for the inevitable. You had thought of everythingâhow the house should be, how his daily life should continue without disruption, how he might cope with the void you would leave behind.
And yet, despite all your foresight, he had been so absorbed in his own world, so blind to your quiet efforts, that he hadnât seen what you were doing. He had been wrapped up in his own needs, his own desires, oblivious to the depth of your sacrifice.
Now, as he sat there in the car, the weight of his regret felt almost unbearable. You had given him a gift of love so profound, so selfless, and he had only realized it in the harshest of moments. He had been given a chance to appreciate you, to see how deeply you cared, but it had come too late.
The house was prepared, the chores managed, the meals cookedâall to make sure that your departure wouldnât add to his burden. And all he could do now was mourn the loss of someone who had loved him so completely, while he had remained unaware of the full extent of their care.
The realization hit him with a crushing weight. You had been preparing himâpreparing him for a future without you. You had known, on some level, that your time was limited, and you had tried to make things easier for him, to ensure he wouldnât be left entirely lost when you were gone. You had left behind a legacy of care and love, even in your absence.
The tears flowed more freely now, each one a testament to the depth of his regret. The sight of the empty kitchen at home, the pristine rows of shelves, the meticulously arranged pantryâall these things that once seemed so ordinary now felt like a poignant reminder of the love he had squandered. You had been his rock, his constant, and he had never truly valued it until it was too late.
Sukunaâs sobs grew louder, more desperate, his grief palpable in the confined space of the car. He felt as if he were drowning in a sea of his own making, surrounded by the memories of what he had lost and the realization of how profoundly he had failed you. The realization of your love, the sacrifices you had made, and the undeniable truth that he had only seen it all now, when it was too late, was a torment unlike anything he had ever known.
He sank forward, resting his head on the steering wheel, letting the tears fall harder than before, his body shaking with the intensity of his emotions. He wished he could turn back time, could undo the mistakes he had made, could tell you how much you meant to him. But all he was left with was the crushing weight of his actions, the echoes of your love, and the empty space where you once were.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#ryomen sukuna#sukuna ryomen#sukuna#ryomen sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna ryomen x you#sukuna ryomen x reader#ryoumen sukuna x reader#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#jjk sukuna x reader#jjk sukuna#jujutsu sukuna#jujutsu kaisen sukuna#jjk ryomen#jjk angst#kayu writes ! ! !
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only god can write this script
âIâm, uh,â Lionblaze mutters, his tail sweeping behind him, âsorry for your loss.â
You would be, wouldnât you, Dovewing doesnât say, because sheâs ex-ThunderClan, because sheâs ex-prophesied, because his sister died for hers and because heâd wanted to kill her son, because sheâs the leaderâs mate, because her feelings about the cat who practically kidnapped her from her family to raise as a substitute for another are complicated and thorny at best. âThank you,â she says at last, like sheâs expected to. The diplomacy Tawnypelt has spent so long teaching her tastes rotten on her tongue.
Lionblaze wipes his mouth with one paw. Dovewingâs sister is ThunderClanâs deputy now, not him. She wonders how he feels about it. She wonders whether he thinks Hollyleaf should be there instead. She wonders if, just as she had been, Ivypool is just another substitute for a black cat with too-sharp eyes, too much potential. All wasted, of course, because StarClan was nothing if not good at wasting.
She wishes she knew why the she-cats suffered most. She wishes she didnât know that they did.
She wishes Rowankit had been born a tom, sometimes, in her darkest moments. If he had, he wouldnât be dead. âSimple as that,â sheâd said to Ivypool last Gathering.
âSimple as that,â Ivypool had echoed, hollow. Bristlefrost had died for â what, exactly? So that more toms could live? So that the she-cat didnât get the happy ending?
âThere are never any happy endings for us,â Hollyleaf had murmured to her the morning of her death. The implication had been clear. Dovewing had stared at the only cat who ever understood her with wide, dry eyes until Hollyleaf had set her chin on Dovewingâs head, and then sheâd been helpless not to lean in, a sob rattling her chest as she did.
âI approve,â Sorreltail had grinned at her as Briarlight had hissed defiance at the idea of being evacuated.
âDo I need it?â Dovewing had wondered.
âNo,â Sorreltail had answered, simple as anything. âIf itâs Briarlight, wonderful. But if there lies something for you outside of these borders â take it. Take it and never look back.â
It was the last time she had spoken to Sorreltail until she was cleaning her blood off of Lilykit and Seedkit as another panic swept over the camp. And even then, she was only speaking to a corpse, reassuring a cat who wasnât there anymore that her kits would be okay.
(And Seedpaw had drowned to keep a stick â the closest memory of her mother she had â in ThunderClanâs possession. Dovewing had wept that night, inconsolable. Another daughter lost to the memory of her mother, a mother who had died because she had been expected to be a mother before a warrior, a mother despite the worst of wounds. A beaverâs dam bursts and is built again, over and over, until Dovewingâs coat drips with invisible blood.)
âNursery work isnât simple,â Ferncloud had smiled once, taking her through each task. Her demeanor was gentle, but the undercurrent was hard. Bumblepaw hadnât taken this lesson. She knew that Lionblaze hadnât, either.
âWhy us?â Dovepaw had asked, looking up at her.
Ferncloudâs gaze, fixed on a point deep in the den, snapped to hers as if pulled there. âBecause itâs only us,â she had said after a moment.
Less than a year later, Dovewing would step through Ferncloudâs blood to block a Dark Forest shade, all murk and mire and claws made of filth, from taking a bite out of her corpse.
âDonât have another litter,â Lionblaze says now, callous in his way. âIt never ends well for us.â
She knows â oh, does she ever know â that. No one star-touched could get away with a second litter, not if the stars had touched you young, even if they took the blessings theyâd given away. Lionblazeâs first litter had led unremarkable lives â Hollytuft, despite her namesake, was quiet and unobtrusive; Fernsong had stepped a little farther than his bounds with Ivypool (and had paid for it, perhaps, with their daughter drowning in a lake made of rot); and Sorrelstripeâs history seemed to begin and end with her own litter (another dam, rising high; Dovewing looks away, now, because the alternative hollows her chest with rhythmic scraping of dulled teeth â pain comforted by pain). But the second? Two of them kittypets, the third an active rebel who had lost her mate to her own leaderâs claws? A gentle fate, all told. They were all still alive, but what did that matter to him? Did the shame of having two living kittypet children outweigh the idea that both were alive, that both were happy, that he could visit them if he cared to?
âHe shouldnât have allowed it,â Jayfeather had said, his blind eyes staring into Dovewingâs soul.
âI shouldnât have allowed it,â Lionblaze had said, anger toying at the end of every word.
But Dovewing had wanted, and now her tiny, perfect son is dead. âI wonât,â she says, hoarse. After all, she hadnât ever been allowed to want. What had she expected? That StarClan would grant mercy to one who had only ever done their bidding?
âGuess some of us have to learn our lessons,â Lionblaze mutters. He scratches at an ear and averts his gaze from the direction of ShadowClanâs medicine den when someone stirs within.
Dovewing wonders if she can muster up the energy to be truly angry. She wants to be so badly, like one might want to escape sharpened claws dipped into soft flesh, but itâs hard to muster in this cruel, gray world without her son, with only callous gods to stare down at her. âGuess so,â she says, and wonders which god wrote this script sheâs living. Her losses burn hot in her throat, the injustices as cold as ice, but Lionblaze could never fathom a story more unhappy than his own. âI guess so.â
#dovewing#lionblaze#hollyleaf#warrior cats#waca#wc#ferncloud#sorreltail#seedpaw#rowankit#jayfeather#ivypool#bristlefrost#child death mention#drowning mention#cw grieving
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"help me forget him tonight, please."
minors do not interact! angst, fluff, smut, oral (m/f receiving), unprotected sex (dont do this), alchool, trash ex bf
as soon as you opened the door to your apartment, your friends' eyes filled with concern. "what happened, y/n?" they asked almost in unison, their voices loaded with anxiety. seokmin, who was distracted on his phone, immediately raised his head upon hearing seungkwan, chan, and jeonghanâs words.
"why are you crying, y/n?" he rushed forward, almost pushing the others out of the way. "why?" he insisted, holding your face gently, trying to make you look into his eyes. but you couldn't answer, just closed your eyes, allowing the tears to flow freely down your face.
"thanks for coming. i didn't want to drink alone," you said, your voice trembling and choked, as you made space for them to come in.
seokmin seemed restless, his concern evident. he desperately needed to know what had happened to put you in this state, but he didn't want to push too much.
"sit here, hyung," dino said, patting the spot on the couch. seokmin obeyed, sitting heavily, his gaze fixed on the floor while you took your first sip of beer for the night.
"he cheated on me," you suddenly blurted out, without preparing them.
"what?" seokmin practically shouted. "what did jiwoon do to you?"
"that's right, minnie. he cheated on me," you said with a sad smile. "i'm such an idiot for taking so long to find out."
"no, y/n," jeonghan quickly intervened. "youâre not to blame. don't talk about yourself like that."
seungkwan stared at the floor, his hand covering his mouth in shock. "i can't believe he was that kind of jerk to you," he murmured, disbelief evident in his voice.
lee chan swallowed hard, unable to imagine that something like this could happen tonight.
seokmin bit his nails, his legs shaking with anger and frustration. "i knew it! i knew that idiot was a fraud," he said, his voice choked with rage.
you looked at him, and it made your tears flow even more. what if you had listened to seokmin every time he said he didn't trust jiwoon?
"hyung, hyung, you're making things worse," dino warned him in a whisper.
frustrated, seokmin downed his beer in one go. "i need to get some air. i'll be back," he said, getting up and leaving the apartment hurriedly. he went into the emergency exit door, where he finally let it all out. he cried with rage, the confused and painful feelings overflowing.
seokmin had never approved of your relationship, but he resigned himself as long as you were happy â even if that happiness didnât come from him. though he felt jiwoon wasnât the right guy for you, he never imagined heâd be so cruel.
it took him several minutes to compose himself, drying his tears and checking his appearance on his phone's front camera.
when he returned, you, now calmer, quickly got up from the couch. "is everything okay?" you asked, the concern clear in your eyes.
he nodded with a shy smile. "sorry. i wasn't prepared to see you like this," he said in a low tone.
"thank you for always worrying about me," you said, touched by his sincerity.
seokmin joined you for the next rounds of drinks. the atmosphere was still heavy, but there was comfort in everyone's presence.
"i understand why you got so angry," jeonghan said to seokmin, once you were distracted listening to a story from seungkwan. "i know itâs hard to see her suffer because of another guy, but be patient," he said, patting seokmin's shoulder.
seokmin nodded, murmuring a thank you. "thanks, hyung." he knew he needed to be strong for you, even if it meant hiding his own feelings.
the boys bid you farewell with a hug, each leaving words of comfort and promises of support. when it was seokmin's turn, you noticed a sad and worried look in his eyes. "can you stay a bit longer?" you asked, your voice filled with hope.
your question surprised him, but he didnât hesitate to respond. "i'll help the guys call a taxi and be right back, okay?" he said, giving you a gentle kiss on the forehead.
you nodded and walked them to the door, waving as they left. "thanks again for coming."
seokmin didnât take long to return. when you heard the door unlocking, you went to meet him with a tight hug. your arms wrapped around his waist, and you rested your head on his chest, eyes closed, remaining there in silence. at that moment, he was your safe zone.
seokmin was surprised by your gesture. initially, he didnât know where to put his hands, but soon he took a deep breath and hugged you tightly. "what can i do to never see you like this again, y/n?" he murmured, his voice choked with concern.
you lifted your head from his chest to look him in the eyes. "help me forget him tonight, please," you said, your eyes pleading for relief.
"what?" he was startled, his eyes widening in surprise. "do you mean what i think you mean?" he asked, his voice incredulous.
"yes," you answered seriously. "tomorrow, we donât need to remember what happened."
seokminâs heart raced. he felt a mixture of conflicting emotions: the temptation was there, as strong as the awareness that this could complicate things. he wanted so much to comfort you, to protect you, but at the same time, he knew that giving in to this temptation could make things even more complicated.
"y/n... what about me? how would i feel after this?" he asked, his voice trembling. "you know this isn't something i can just forget."
you felt the weight of his words. you were just seeking immediate relief from the unbearable pain you felt. "seokmin, i just need a night to forget all this. i need you now."
he closed his eyes, feeling the internal struggle. he wanted you, always had, but not the way you were proposing. he knew that if he gave in, it could ruin what you had.
"y/n, i want you more than you can imagine. but not like this," he said, his voice soft but firm.
you felt the depth of his feelings for you. the reality of the situation hit you, and you pulled back a bit from the hug, feeling guilt growing inside you. "iâm sorry, seokmin. i didnât think it through. it was selfish of me to ask that," you said, your voice filled with regret.
seeing you pull away made seokmin forget all rationality. the need to comfort you and the desire he always felt for you took over. without thinking twice, he gently held your face with both hands, his thumbs caressing your damp cheeks.
he looked into your eyes for a moment, seeing the pain mixed with hope, and felt his heart tighten. without saying a word, he guided you gently to the wall, pressing his body against yours with a delicate yet firm touch.
then, he kissed you. a needy kiss, full of repressed emotions and desire. his lips met yours with urgency, exploring and seeking comfort. he could feel the tears still present on your face, but that only intensified the moment, making everything more real and raw.
you responded to the kiss with the same intensity, your hands sliding up his arms until they intertwined behind his neck. the kiss was a mix of desperation and passion, an attempt to erase the pain, even if just for a brief moment.
seokmin felt every beat of your heart, every breath you took between kisses. he wanted to protect you, to make you forget all the sadness, even if just for that night. your bodies molded to each other, seeking the solace and connection you both desperately needed.
finally, he pulled back a little, his lips still brushing against yours, and whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion. "y/n... i'm here. iâll always be here for you."
you opened your eyes, finding his, full of silent promises and deep feelings. "thank you, seokmin," you murmured, feeling a little lighter, even if just momentarily.
he pulled you back for another kiss, gentler this time, but still full of emotion. in that moment, nothing else mattered but the two of you and the comfort you found in each other.
then, everything intensified again when you realized how much you needed him that night. your eyes locked with his, and you noticed his glasses, those damn glasses that you always said made him look even sexier. something inside you awakened with full force.
you pushed him gently, and seokmin looked at you worriedly, afraid he had done something wrong. but you just smiled at him as you guided him to the couch. he sat down, looking up at you, his eyes full of expectation and doubt.
you sat on his lap, your hands resting on his strong shoulders, while his hands found your waist, his fingers playing with the waistband of your shorts. the heat between you was palpable, an electric current passing from one to the other.
you kissed him again, and the only sound in the room was the sound of your tongues intertwining. this sound, mixed with seokmin's fingers gently squeezing you, only heightened the fervent desire inside you. damn, you wanted him so much in that moment.
seokmin held you and laid you down on the couch, his movements gentle yet filled with intensity. he removed his glasses, setting them aside, and positioned himself above you. as you felt his intimacy touching yours, a thrill of excitement coursed through your body, making your heart race even faster. you bit your lip involuntarily, feeling the desire grow.
your eyes met again, and in that instant, everything seemed to fall into place. emotions were running high, and both of you knew that this night would be different. seokmin leaned in for another deep kiss, while his hands explored your body with an almost desperate need. you ran your fingers through his hair, pulling gently.
you felt his breath on your neck as he trailed kisses down its length.
"thank you for being so amazing," you said to him, breathless. he needed to be sure he wasn't making a mistake, and you would reassure him as many times as necessary.
seokmin took your words as approval for what was to come next. his hands slid inside your shirt as he slowly removed it, planting wet kisses from your mouth down to the button of your shorts. you could see how much he desired you too.
with his hands poised to undo the button, he looked into your eyes for permission, and you smiled as you nodded.
he then removed your shorts â and your panties. he kissed the inside of your thighs, driving you crazy. in near desperation, you grabbed the couch to keep from letting out a loud moan.
you felt his warm tongue on you, and with your eyes closed, you bit your lip hard. seokmin spread your legs a bit more and positioned himself more comfortably. you were wet, and the sound of his tongue moving repetitively inside your vagina was driving you wild.
he spread you open a little more, and his tongue moved faster, causing a moan to escape your lips. in response, he bit the inside of your thigh. he was as crazy for you as you were for him.
"don't stop, seokmin, please," you begged. holding his head affectionately, you watched him brush his tongue against your clit. but you could barely control your body anymore, writhing on that couch. "i'm going to cum," you said, breathless amid your moans.
seokmin moaned too when he tasted your juice in his mouth. he knelt between your legs and took off his shirt. you quickly sat up and grabbed his hips, kissing his beautifully defined abs. it was the first time you had seen him shirtless. "you're so beautiful," he said as he fixed your messy hair. you looked at him, asking for the same permission he had sought.
he was hard, and it was entirely your fault. you were more than ready to take responsibility. you pulled down his black underwear, and his cock sprang out. you held it and slid your hand up and down slowly a few times. seokmin cupped your face with his right hand, caressed your cheek with his finger, and guided you to him. you obeyed eagerly.
you took him into your mouth, sucking and licking the tip of his member. "damn," he said, his voice hoarse. you moved your head back and forth just to tease him. "fuck, y/n," he groaned. your tongue circled the head of his penis, and you looked up to see his reaction. he watched you intently while moaning softly. you smiled mischievously with his penis in your mouth, determined to make him cum too.
you released him briefly to tie your hair into a bun and then took him in your mouth again. seokmin moaned loudly, and this time you showed no mercy.
with each movement of your mouth, he went deeper into you. you almost felt him in your throat when seokmin grabbed your hair bun tightly and began thrusting his penis into your mouth himself. you dug your nails into his thighs, tears welling up as you felt him in your throat. you were a mess, but none of it mattered since you could taste him in your mouth.
"i'm so close, y/n. you're so hot," he said with difficulty amidst moans. he thrusted so frantically that he unintentionally pushed deeper into your throat. you felt it, and a tear escaped. seokmin quickly pulled out and sat at your level to kiss you almost as an apology. he was so, so hot that you didn't mind.
as he kissed you passionately, he masturbated with the same rhythm. when you realized what he was doing with his hand, you pushed it away so you could take over. he moaned as he kissed you. and now that his hand was free, he slipped his fingers inside your vaginal lips. you were so turned on that it almost hurt.
you gyrated your hips, both of you moaning eagerly as you kissed. he finally came and moaned loudly. you felt the liquid drip onto your hand, and you couldn't be more thrilled with it.
seokmin laid you down, positioning himself above you. he kissed you more gently now, although both of you were still breathless. you barely remembered how you ended up there. he paused to study your face. you laughed, embarrassed, knowing you were a mess. but not to him. he looked at you with admiration and a smile on his face.
"seokmin," his eyes shifted to your mouth. your name had never sounded so sexy before, he thought. "i want you inside me," you said. he found it funny and laughed softly. never in his wildest dreams did he imagine you would ask for that.
he held his penis, rubbing it at the entrance of your vagina without penetrating. he needed to be ready to thrust again. "please," you begged, whining and grinding in rhythm with his rubbing.
finally, you felt him slide in erect. his fingers dug into your skin as he gradually increased the pace. the sound of your bodies colliding was so arousing. seokmin could only think about how much he loved you while hearing your moans for him. the sweat dripping from his abs was the vision of paradise you idealized at that moment.
his body was glued to yours. his moans were so frantic in your ear. he thrust so deeply, making you moan loudly. seokmin pulled out when he felt he couldn't hold back any longer. you reached your peak together, and the liquid gushed onto your stomach. you smiled, trying to catch your breath.
after the peak of pleasure, seokmin lay beside you. you rested on his chest, both of your breaths still heavy, mingling in the air of the room. he looked at you with a vulnerable and sincere expression, his eyes shining with a mix of emotions as he played with strands of your hair.
"i don't want to be just a temporary comfort for you. i want to be the person who stands by your side through the good and bad times, supporting and loving you as you deserve," he said tenderly.
you listened intently. it was new for you to know that seokmin had feelings for you. you were still unable to give him a concrete answer, but you were grateful for the affection and sincerity he had for you.
with a hopeful look, he concluded, "if you give me a chance, i promise i'll do everything to make you happy every day. i love you, y/n, more than you can imagine."
you nodded and gave him a long, soft kiss on his lips, nurturing hope in your heart as well.
#seventeen fanfic#seventeen imagines#seventeen x reader#svt#seventeen smut#dokyeom x reader#svt dk#dokyeom fluff#dokyeom smut#dokyeom svt#dokyeom scenarios#dokyeom seventeen#dk smut#dk x reader#dokyeom x you#dokyeom x y/n
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as long as we're together (does it matter where we go?)
Summary: You don't want to be a burden to Bucky, knowing he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Pairing: Bucky x Female!OC
Genre: Angst
Length: 7.8k
Two years ago
âI donât think I want to be with you anymore.â
Bucky had expected it. Weeks of you being distant, making secret phone calls, avoiding his touches like they physically hurt you. Countless times Bucky had asked, what's wrong?, only for you to shut him down and say that everything was fine. Bucky was sick of hearing that empty, meaningless mantra, but it didnât mean that he reveled in your confession now.
Even though it didn't come as a surprise, it still felt like a punch to the gut. It physically winded him to hear those words leave your lips.
He wondered what he did wrong. He wondered where they went wrong. They were so in love, so wonderfully content in each other's company. You were his person. Steve had once told Bucky that he would find someone unexpectedly, when Bucky made an off-hand comment about how lucky he was to have met Peggy.
âYouâll find your Peggy.â
Things had been perfect. Or maybe Bucky had just been in denial, ignoring all the problems between you because he thought that his feelings for you triumphed over everything, no matter what hardships you may have been suffering from. How could he ever face the reality that you might actually leave in pursuit of something better?
Now, Buckyâs chest was tight with an indescribable feeling, both of you stood in your shared apartment. Your belongings stuffed into a black suitcase, Buckyâs heart in pieces on the hardwood floor.
He had expected it, but it didn't stop him from wanting to die.
"Why?" It was all he could ask. He wanted to know the reason, wanted to understand. Wanted to know if he could fix it. He was desperate to make you stay.
Bucky stared at your face. You looked so...indifferent. Unattached, in contrast to the woman he had met all those years ago. Where had the softness in your eyes gone? Why couldnât you meet his pleading gaze, even now? At what point did your feelings for him start to fade, and was there anything he could have done to salvage it?
Your face was a blank slate, emotionless, and it made Bucky feel a truly troubling combination of sadness and anger. It was as if you had already said your goodbyes to their relationship, completely ready to move on whilst Bucky was still trying to process your words. You were ready to leave him behind to mourn.
âI donât think weâre right for each other,â you had said quietly. âI donât think we can give each other what we need.â
"Bullshit," Bucky said, his voice cracking. You grimaced ever so slightly at his tone, still unable to meet his eyes. "How can you say that?"
He took a step forward; you matched it with a retreating step, but with wide strides he seized your wrists. He silently willed you to say something which could somehow lessen the excruciating pain.
âWill you just look at me?â
He wanted so badly for you to meet his stare, to find some source of comfort within your eyes which usually held so much love for him.
Finally, you relented and lifted your head. They did not fill Bucky with any hope. You pressed your lips together firmly as he searched your face desperately for any sign of residual affection.
"We - we're in love. How can you say after all these years that we're not right for each other? For fuck's sake, will you just tell me what happened?"
"People change, Bucky," you said softly. The look on your face - was it sadness, or apathy? "We've become too distant."
"And whose fault is that?" Bucky released you then. He was so angry, wanting to elicit some sort of reaction from you, that he wanted to punch the wall beside them. It made him feel nauseous at how stoic you were now, like a piece of unyielding rock. He knew you hated it when he took his anger out physically. You had been the one to teach him how to manage his rage more constructively, to talk things out and use his words rather than his fists.
"Are you trying to say it's mine?" Your tone was sharp, finally demonstrating some emotion. "Are you saying that all those nights waiting for you to come back home, all those evenings alone whilst you stayed at the Tower, all those hours I spent staring at the four walls of this apartment were my fault?"
"You left me!" Bucky retorted, gritting his teeth. "You left me long before today! You think I haven't noticed? You can barely stand touching me. You're always on your phone, always texting, always out seeing your 'friends'," he said, making air quotes. "I asked Wanda, she said you haven't been meeting her or your other friends for weeks. Who's this 'friendâ? Who the fuck is it that's so important that you can't spare any time for me, never mind your actual friends?"
A long, pregnant pause filled the air, an indecipherable mask on your face once more. Buckyâs eyes were wet, and if he hadn't been so angry, he would've seen the way your lower lip was trembling ever so slightly, the way it did whenever you were trying not to cry. It had been the biggest telltale sign for him over the years to know when you were upset and trying your best to hide it.
He was usually so good at reading you, but he was blinded with sadness.
"Fine," you said eventually, slicing the silence with a shaky exhale. "I'm seeing someone else."
You might as well have struck Bucky across the face.
Suspecting it and hearing the words fall from your lips were two different things. He physically reeled back in anguish as he stared at you. He took in the sight of his girlfriend in front of him, swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat. This was, without a doubt, the woman he had met five years ago. The woman he spent five years loving. The woman whom he recognized no longer.
"Why?" Bucky whispered, all the fight leaving his body. He physically seemed to sag, forehead creasing at all the other questions running through his mind, visions of you being touched and fucked by some faceless, nameless man.
You were almost pitiful in the way you looked at Bucky, and he hated it.
"I care for you, Bucky. But Iâm not in love with you anymore. And I'm sorry I had to do this to you. Things just got out of control."
Iâm not in love with you anymore.
You offered no further information, but he had stopped listening, anyway. The finality in your voice pierced him slowly, tortuously, through the heart. He barely moved when you took your suitcase and pulled it out behind you, out of their apartment. Out of his life.
The door slammed shut.
Present day
You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of Mercedes Knight & Samuel Wilson
Sam had become Buckyâs closest confidant in the past few years, and the latter had been a close witness as Sam met Mercedes âMistyâ Knight, a former NYPD officer who had somehow become roped into their crazy world. It was no surprise to Bucky when they announced their engagement just six months into dating.
Bucky found himself being pulled into their wedding planning discussions far too often. He tried to keep an amused smile at bay whilst listening into Misty and Samâs wedding talk at the Tower. They were using one of the many conference rooms - a Knight-Wilson union was official business, Misty insisted.
"Are you bringing a date?" Misty asked suddenly in the middle of everything, the question directed at Bucky.
"Of course he's bringing a date," Sam smirked. "Heard things with Sharon are going well, right?"
Bucky smiled non-committedly, shrugging. "She's great." It didnât go unnoticed by Sam that this didnât quite answer his question.
"You two look good together," Misty offered. She glanced at her watch and widened her eyes theatrically, grabbing Samâs hand. "Oh crap, we need to go meet with the wedding planner."
"But it feels like we just sat down," Sam complained.
"There's no rest for the bride and groom, Sam," Misty said, pulling her fiancé out of his seat as she waved goodbye at Bucky.
As soon as they departed, the smile on Buckyâs face dimmed. He was beyond happy for his two friends, he really was - but every couple he knew was a fresh reminder of his own failed love life.
Ever since you, he hadn't been in a long term relationship. Sharon is different, he told himself, and she was. They had been friends for a long time, and of course spent a lot of time together carrying out missions and the like. Over time, somehow, they had gotten closer, and one day Sharon had just asked him, âSo when are you going to ask me out, Barnes?â
At that point, Bucky was still frequently thinking about you. Sharon had never met you before, but Bucky wouldnât be surprised if she had heard stories about you from the others, since he had been notoriously affected by the breakup. Even though he was dealing with the aftershocks of the broken relationship, he was forcing himself to get past it.
They had been dating for two months now, and it only seemed right for Sharon to be his date at the wedding.
He had moved on. He was no longer the depressed, dark wreck he was when you left.
Sometimes itâs better to lie to yourself than to face the reality.
âYou invited Buckyâs ex to the wedding?â Misty asked curiously.
âUh, yeah. Sheâs not just his ex,â Sam explained gently. âSheâs my friend too, and I havenât seen her since she left town.â
"You told Bucky?"
"Nope," Sam snorted, shaking his head. "I can't. I don't think he'd turn up if I did. I want them both there on the day - I'm sure they can be civil for one night."
âI wonder how Bucky will react," his future wife pondered.
Sam shrugged. Not well, probably.
"What else can I do? I canât not invite her, I really want her to be there. You never met her, so you donât know, but sheâs been through some shit.â
âI know, I know, you told me,â Misty said. âI just donât want anyone to get hurt. Do you think she'll be okay seeing Bucky again? Especially if he'll be there with Sharon?"
"She said she can handle it. She would be happy to see that Bucky was happy. She was the one who practically begged me to encourage him to move on."
âDo you think he has?â
Sam paused, considering the question carefully.
âHe has to.â
Several weeks later, Misty Knight and Sam Wilson were officially wed at the local registration office. The day was full of hugs, cacophonous laughter, friends and family, and Bucky watched with a wide beam on his face as he witnessed his friends glow. Those kinds of smiles were few and far between nowadays, but he was truly happy for once.
"They look so good together," Sharon murmured as hundreds of guests filled the hotel ballroom, the party commencing in full swing. The newlyweds were in the center of the room, Misty being twirled around wildly by a laughing Sam before his wife collapsed against his chest in fits of giggles, looking up into his eyes adoringly.
More and more people joined them on the dance floor after the conclusion of their official first dance.
"Barnes, would you like to dance?" Sharon asked suddenly with a smile, extending a hand.
Bucky chuckled, allowing her to take his hand and lead him out to the dance floor.
An hour passed, and Bucky had to truthfully say that he was enjoying himself, assisted by all the alcohol he had consumed. Sharon was draped all over him as they swayed to the music, and Bucky found himself appreciating the feel of her body against his all too much, the scent of her intoxicating. His hands felt the fabric of her silky, emerald green dress, buried his nose into Sharon's blonde hair, sighing softly as he tightened his grip on her waist.
Her perfume was strong and woodsy, like a forest. It irritated his nose ever so slightly. You had preferred a more subtle, floral perfume, one that smelt like sakura blossoms.
Sharon was more confident and seductive in the way she danced, whilst you used to always let yourself become putty in his arms, enjoying how he took the lead and managed to make you look like you knew how to dance despite your two left feet.
However, despite the differences, if Bucky closed his eyes and just tried a little harder, he think he could pretend that -
"Sorry to interrupt.â
Bucky pulled away from Sharon suddenly, and he turned to mock glare at Sam. "What do you want, Wilson?"
"Need to borrow you for a minute," Sam said, an undecipherable expression on his face. Bucky tried to see where Misty had disappeared off to, but saw no trace.
"Um, sure..." Bucky tried to read Samâs face but gleaned nothing.
"I'll just go say hi to Natasha," Sharon said, giving Buckyâs forearm a squeeze before she disappeared.
Samâs smile faded, and he caught Buckyâs arm in a vice grip. "I need to tell you something. Don't get mad, okay?"
"What?" Bucky scowled as Sam dragged him to the side of the room, weaving through the crowds of guests. "What good news starts with, âdonât get madâ? Are you gonna tell me you want to run out on Misty or something?" He joked.
Sam pulled him out through one of the open French doors which led to a pretty, outdoor stone balcony. He shut them behind him as Bucky continued to babble, a little tipsy from the champagne he'd had. "I gotta tell ya, if she asks me to kick your ass I will literally do so -â
"Bucky," Sam said, taking a deep breath. "Sheâs here." Meeting Buckyâs nonplussed eyes, your name rolled off Samâs tongue in clarification.
He felt like the breath was sucked from his lungs as he stared back at Sam, who looked uncharacteristically anxious.
âWhat?" He asked hoarsely, instantly sobering up. âWhat do you mean?â
Chills were running through his body. The name he had avoided for years was suddenly causing him to feel breathless. How did you still have such an affect on him?
"She couldn't make it to the ceremony earlier today, but she just arrived."
"You - you invited her here? Sheâs here, now?"
"Yes," Sam replied, nodding. "I invited her.â He straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest almost defiantly.
Bucky was speechless for a moment, taking a step back and scoffing. He shook his head. âDo you remember what she did to me?â
âI'm sorry, Buck..."
Bucky suddenly laughed, startling Sam. His laugh was curt, humorless. "What are you sorry for? I'm over her, Sam. It was two years ago. I haven't seen her in two years. I don't care anymore," he said quickly. Too quickly.
"Listen -"
"Look, it's okay." Bucky raised his hands in small surrender. âYou have the right to invite whoever you want. Iâm not mad. But I just donât want to be held accountable for whatever happens now.â
He turned and wrenched the French doors open with such force that the handle buckled slightly. The noise inside the ballroom spilled out to replace the painful silence on the balcony.
He disappeared inside before Sam could say anything else, and he tried to hide it, but Sam could clearly see that his hands were shaking as he marched inside.
For the next twenty minutes, Bucky found sanctuary in the restrooms. He stood inside the stall, trying to stop himself from mentally collapsing.
He didnât know what was happening. He had never felt this overwhelming panic rush over him before, immobilizing him. Anger, sadness and yearning swirling inside a melting pot of emotions that was crippling him.
She was here. The woman he hadn't seen in two years, the woman who broke his heart, the woman who betrayed him, the woman who left him in tatters.
Your infidelity had had an unforeseen impact on him. When he first found out, he was devastated. Terrified of how you became someone he didnât recognize - or had you always been someone capable of betraying him, just good at hiding it?
You had poisoned all the happy memories they had once shared. Bucky found himself recounting all the years you were together, micro-analyzing everything, wondering if there was a hidden lie behind it all.
That was one of the things which made him angriest. You turned all the beautiful years of your relationship into a lie. None of it was real, Bucky had told himself.
You crushed him.
Of his feelings, anger prevailed, slowly simmering to the surface, like a volcano about to erupt. How dare you walk back into his life like this? He would show you, Bucky thought with determination. He was over you. He had no reason to be angry, he thought bitterly, because you were nothing to him.
Just like Bucky was nothing to you.
When he emerged from the toilets, the first thing he did was find Sharon. She looked relieved to see him, although confusion was clear on her face as she eyed Bucky.
"Where have you been? Are you feeling okay?" She commented, brow furrowed with concern.
"I'm fine," Bucky assured her. "Have you seen Sam?"
Sharon pointed, puzzlement still painted across her face, and Bucky snapped round quickly.
And there you were.
It was as if you had never left. As if the past two years filled with Bucky trying to eradicate every memory and feeling he had for you had never happened, because as soon as Buckyâs eyes found you through the crowd, everything came collapsing back down on top of him like an avalanche. Suffocating.
You were still so beautiful, strikingly so. Like a burning beacon among the crowd, Buckyâs eyes found your face as easily as anything. For a second, he allowed himself to ignore anything except you, and how the sight of you still managed to take his breath away.
You looked thinner than he remembered, your face gaunt. Bucky frowned slightly at this acute observation and found himself wondering if you had been taking care of yourself.
"Barnes? You okay?"
Bucky registered Sharon shaking his arm, but his eyes remained fastened on yourself and Sam. Neither of you had spotted Bucky yet, who was rooted to the spot like a statue. Samâs mouth was moving, words that Bucky couldn't hear escaping his mouth, but his expression was angry. Almost as if he was scolding you for something.
"I have to...I..." Bucky stumbled over his words, voice faint. He could feel those tendrils of anger slowly seizing him again, wisps at first, until they grew more and more potent by the second. He remembered every single thing he felt when you left him, and instead of trying to hold back the emotions, Bucky just saw red.
"Let me introduce you to someone," he said suddenly, his voice strained as he took Sharon's hand.
"You said you were better," Sam said, expression torn.
"I am," you lied, trying to put on a smile. Truth was, you were exhausted, just like how you always felt. The ballroom was so crowded and loud, and you just wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep, which you would the moment you finished congratulating Sam and Misty. And perhaps, even though you didn't want to admit it, you wanted to catch a glimpse of Bucky, too.
"Look at you, you're -"
âSam, please donât,â you interrupted gently. âJust drop it, please? Itâs your big day, I donât want you to worry about anything else.â
Sam opened his mouth to talk, but stopped suddenly, his eyes flitting to look behind you.
"Hey."
You froze. You knew that voice, of course. Heard it enough times, the deep, gravelly voice that had once whispered sweet pet names, proclamations of love, and plagued your dreams ever since you left him.
You had longed to hear his voice again, hear your name being spoken lovingly. His voice was your favorite sound in the world. Except tonight, hearing it for the first time in two years, you heard nothing but ice.
"Bucky?" You turned slowly, and your breath hitched. He was just the way you remembered him. Even more handsome, if possible. Clad in a sleek black tux, tall and dark and sexy, everything you had missed and dreamed of, and...
He was holding another womanâs hand.
"Bucky," Sam repeated, voice tense. Bucky could hear the underlying warning.
"It's been a while," he said stiffly, acting as neutral as he could. As if he hadn't spent months after their terrible break up being a shell of who he used to be, barely repaired even now. Bucky felt like any other venomous words from your mouth would shatter him again, but he had to take the chance. He had to talk to you, show you that he had moved on. He didn't care about you anymore, or how you so ruthlessly left him.
"Yes," you said weakly, smiling softly. God, he still thought that you looked beautiful, clad in a periwinkle blue dress, a thick coat draped around your shoulders. You were shivering, and Bucky resisted the urge to ask you what was wrong. Now that he was closer, he could see that didnât look well at all. You had dark circles under your eyes and your collarbones were too prominent, your gaze devoid of any livelihood.
You glanced at Buckyâs fingers interlaced with a gorgeous blonde. You had seen her on the news before, you were pretty certain. Your smile forcibly stretched wider, blinking a few times, not knowing what to do with yourself.
"This is Sharon," Sam said, clearing his throat and exchanging introductions.
âItâs very nice to meet you,â Sharon said politely. She was gorgeous, you thought, watching as she sent Bucky a subtle, questioning glance.
Bucky was still staring at you, unmoving. You took the initiative first.
âBucky, can we talk for a second?"
You could see the way he was trying to control himself by the way his lips stiffened, his Adamâs apple bobbing as he swallowed. He gave a curt nod. He didnât want to cause a scene in front of Sharon and the other hundreds of wedding guests.
âLetâs leave these two to catch up,â Sam said lightly, trying to hide his discomfort as he led Sharon away.
"So now you want to talk?" Bucky asked as soon as they were out of earshot, his voice sharp. You cringed, almost folding into yourself at Buckyâs hard stare.
"Yes," was all you managed to whisper, eyes darting to the ground to avoid meeting his glare. âLetâs go somewhere quieter.â
You turned and walked towards the exit of the ballroom, turning back to look at Bucky. He followed after a second, his jaw set like stone as you led the way to the empty lobby outside, away from the noise.
"It's been a while, Buck.â You voice was sad as you turned to face him again.
"Yes," he said, fighting an internal battle. He was so torn. Seeing you again made him want to wrap you up in his arms like he would've done two years ago, when you were still together. And feeling like that made Bucky angry. What right did you have to make him feel this way? Who gave you the right to mess with Buckyâs heart again after so long?
"How have you been?" You asked eventually after a painfully awkward silence.
He scoffed at that. "How have I been?" He repeated incredulously. He doubted you really wanted to hear about all those nights he spent in his apartment, refusing to talk to his friends, being a complete social introvert (more than he usually was) because he felt like he just couldn't live anymore. Not without you.
"Great. Fantastic," he said without a shred of sincerity.
You stared at him for the longest time, your lips pressed into a thin line. You looked so regretful that it made Bucky feel uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry," you said eventually, your voice wavering like you were struggling to breathe properly. "I'm so sorry for leaving you like that. We...we could have ended things better. You didn't deserve how I treated you."
You flinched when Bucky scoffed derisively. He dropped any remaining restraints he had previously put in place, letting all his feelings run free.
"Are you kidding me? Why? Why are you coming back here and apologizing after all this time?" He felt like he wanted to tear his hair out in frustration as he stared at you, making sure to keep his distance lest he found himself wanting to pull you closer. God, it was all so confusing. He despised you, and yet seeing you here in the flesh was everything he had ever wanted in the last few years.
He hated how you were making him feel.
"Look, it doesn't matter anymore. What's done is done," he spat through gritted teeth, all the while completely unaware of how your heart clenched painfully at Buckyâs scornful eyes. âDo you have any idea how unfair this is? You fucked up big time, disappeared off the face of the earth, then come back standing in front of me now asking how I am?â
âI know. Youâre right, about everything. I just wanted to let you know that Iâm sorry.â
âNo. You have no right to do this,â Bucky seethed. âYou have no right to come back here and try to - what, settle your guilt? Make amends?â
You didnât say anything, choosing to let him vent instead.
âI still remember the way you left. What you did. I will never forgive you for that. So donât you dare stand in front of me today with all this bullshit and expect me to have something nice to say.â
"You really hate me, don't you?" You asked then, taking Bucky off guard. You lifted your head properly to stare at him, and the look in your eyes was unsettling.
"I hate you," Bucky confirmed unwaveringly, his voice hard. "I hate what you did to me and by extension, you."
You didn't respond. You bit your lower lip hard, trying desperately not to cry in front of him. Your heart hurt so much.
It was the worst feeling in the world, maybe, seeing the man you loved so dearly tell you that he hated you. It was excruciating, the clenching inside your chest as Buckyâs words rang in your head.
"I know my apologies will never be enough. I just wanted to see if you're happy now," you whispered.
"I'm happy," Bucky replied almost immediately. "I'm happy with Sharon. Does that bother you? Did you hope that I'd still be pining after you? I'm not that pathetic anymore." The barriers were broken, and the hurtful words were falling from Buckyâs mouth, two years worth of it.
âI never said you were pathetic,â you retorted, slightly indignant. âIâm glad that youâre happy.â
Bucky was breathing hard, unconvinced by your words.
âAnd how's the man you left me for?"
"He...it didn't work out," you shrugged, trying to keep your face as straight as possible.
"Good," Bucky said harshly. "Because you don't deserve happiness." If he wasn't so mad, he wouldn't say such irrational things. But he just wanted you to hurt. He wanted you to feel all the pain you caused.
Bucky pretended he didn't hear you gasp. He pretended that he didn't see your eyes gloss over at the sheer amount of hate in his voice.
"Okay," you said finally, your voice clearly shaking. "Okay," you repeated again, nodding your head. Bucky watched you take a step back, away from him.
âI -â
âI'm sorry, Bucky. Please take care," you interrupted, smiling sadly before you turned and walked away as quickly as possible.
That was not how you envisioned the reunion to go. All you wanted was to apologize, know that he was happy, so that you could go in peace.
But maybe that was the consequence of your decision. Maybe he was just always going to hate you for the rest of his life and remember you as someone awful.
You didnât know that all Bucky wanted to do was run after you. Tell you to stop. He wanted to apologize and tell you how he didnât mean a word of what he just said.
Rage and pride kept him shackled, and he watched your retreating back, feeling like a coward.
The last thing Bucky expected when he opened his apartment door a few days later was Samâs dirty glare.
"You can be a mean son of a bitch, do you know that?â
"Hello to you too,â Bucky retorted.
âWhy did you say all that stuff to her?â Sam asked, pushing his way past Bucky.
Bucky closed the door, knowing exactly who he was referring to.
"Why is this any of your business?"
"You acted like a dick!" Sam said furiously.
âLook, Iâm sorry, I shouldnât have done something like that on your special day. But-â
âI want you to feel sorry to her.â
"She left me,â Bucky exclaimed. "You were there, Sam, you saw how fucked up she made me. She cheated on me! You want me to apologize to her?â His face was incredulous.
âYouâre so fucking frustrating.â
âOh, excuse me for not being the bigger person,â Bucky sneered. âBut you donât know how she made me feel, Sam, so donât you dare try to give me a fucking lecture now.â
Sam was quiet for the longest time, looking exasperated. He stared up at the ceiling, sighing.
âBucky, look man. She never cheated on you,â Sam said finally, an apologetic look in his eyes.
The apartment became filled with nothing but the sounds of Buckyâs heavy breathing.
âWhat are you talking about?â He spat, realizing now that Sam knew something he didnât.
Sam let out a resigned sigh, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I promised her I wouldnât tell you. But fuck it, man, cause I think this is messed up. Sheâs sick, Bucky," he said solemnly. "Like, really sick."
Two years ago
"It's cancer, Sam."
You physically couldn't cry anymore. You had done enough of that the day the doctor had told you, your eyes puffy and swollen. Funnily enough, the first person you had sought out wasnât your boyfriend, but rather his best friend.
Bucky wasnât even in town that weekend, and you really didnât want to tell him over the phone. In fact, you never wanted to tell him. How do you tell the man you love that you're dying?
"You can get treatment, right?" Sam asked.
"I don't know. Itâs not looking good. They're doing some sort of new clinical trial in England, but even thatâs a long shot. I - Iâm going to try, though.â
Sam sat up straighter. âAnd Bucky?â
"You can't tell him," you said firmly. You had thought about it all night, and you knew you couldn't let him know. You didn't want to put him through something like this. "My father had cancer too, Sam," you said softly. "He died in so much pain, he had so much treatment but it didn't help. He was throwing up all the time, having fevers, his body was so weak, and by the end he wasnât the same anymore. I don't want him to see me like that."
âBut-â
âNo buts,â you said. You had given it enough thought already. You knew that you would have to be very, very lucky to make it through this - the end was essentially inevitable. There was no way you would make Bucky bear witness to you succumbing to this illness the same way you had to watch your father.
It was the worst time of your life. You had told Bucky about it in the past, as he had never had a chance to meet your father since he passed away years before you met Bucky. Knowing what you did, you would never inflict that same experience on him.
"So what are you going to do?"
"I have to leave him.â You had been preparing yourself for what you needed to do all night. "If I go, there's a chance I might not come back, you understand that, right?"
"Don't say things like that," Sam said forcefully, clenching your hand. "Just stop. Bucky will support you all the way, you know that!"
"Thatâs exactly why I have to go by myself. I can't be selfish, Sam. I want him to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted. I canât make him drop everything to make me his number one priority. Looking after me will take time and constant care. If I go to England, he will abandon everything and come. Manhattan is his home.â
Sam looked anguished and you knew that he was disagreeing with everything you had just said, but you plowed on.
"Itâs not just a matter of time and effort. If he stays, he will watch me die, and I donât want him to do that.â You began to cry, and Sam hugged you, wishing he could say something comforting.
âItâs okay," you said through the tears, even though every fiber in your body was telling you the opposite. You had been repeating these words to yourself all night, as if you would believe it if you said it enough times. "Itâll be okay."
Maybe you were being stupid, but you didn't care. You knew Bucky loved you with his body and soul, as did you. But you werenât going to let him suffer over your illness. You wouldn't let the person you cared most about in the world see you slowly deteriorate.
You had been witness to how your father was clearly in a depressive state, and yet tried his hardest to pretend to be happy and fine around other people. You didnât know if you had the strength or bravery to even pretend.
You began distancing yourself. Stopped trying to make conversation with Bucky, until the long, endless, random talks you used to share diminished into curt sentences. You stopped waiting for Bucky to come home, simply pretending that you didn't care. You became more secretive, furtively hiding your calls with your doctor and your mother.
There was no other man. You loved him and only him, and had been nothing but faithful. You didn't know what hurt more: having to lie to Bucky or the fact that he so easily believed you would betray him like that.
In the end, you had really regretted fabricating a story of infidelity. You should have just gone your separate ways without making him think that you had been unfaithful. But at that time, you wanted to find a quick solution that would make Bucky voluntarily detach himself from you. It seemed like a wise decision, but you really, really wish you hadnât let him believe that you didnât love him. It was truly the worst feeling in the world.
It was all over in a few weeks. You packed your things and left, trying not to cry with every heavy step you took towards the door of your apartment. You knew you were making the best decision for them both, surely.
Time would heal Bucky, and he would be happy again one day.
It just couldnât be with you.
Present day
"She just didnât want to feel like a burden to you, man," Sam said, shaking his head. "Why did you have to say all those things to her at the wedding?"
Bucky could register nothing else after Sam finished explaining everything. He was in disbelief, though he knew that there was no way Sam would fabricate a story like that.
Now, he could only think of the way he had shouted at you. The way he told you how much he hated you. The way you had left.
"Where is she?" Bucky whispered.
"Sheâs leaving today," Sam said tersely. "Sheâs going back to England. She was real sick for a long time, and she recovered a few months ago, but the cancer came back.â
He slipped a hotel business card into Buckyâs hand. âThis is the address sheâs staying at," Sam said.
He grasped it like a lifeline, eyes unable to see Sam standing in front of him. His vision was completely filled with images of you.
"Go," Sam said forcefully. "Go and find her.â
The tears wouldn't stop falling.
You didn't know words could hurt so much. Sure, you had expected Bucky to hate you, but you werenât prepared for the way every single word seemed to embed themselves into your skin like splinters into your heart.
They were once so happy. They were so perfect.
You hated yourself. Hated yourself for getting ill, for ruining what you had. The logic was irrational, but the self-hatred had become second nature.
You had spent the last few days holed up in your hotel. You had planned to use the time to see a few friends before returning to England, but you no longer had the heart.
You left your room that morning only because Wanda was furious that she missed you at the wedding, and you agreed to have coffee with her. She almost cried at the sight of you, but you put on a brave face, refusing to talk about Bucky. You begged her if you could just talk about happy topics and she eventually obliged, smiling sadly when you hugged each other goodbye.
âIâll see you again, dear,â Wanda had said, and you hoped to God she was right.
As soon as you got inside your hotel room, you felt a switch click internally.
Everything hurt. You were tired, unhappy and you really didnât know if you would ever make it out of this emotional blackhole. You felt so weak, like you would keel over at any given moment.
Cancer really was a bitch.
You kicked off your shoes and entered the bathroom. You lay down in the bathtub, fully clothed, turning the cold water on until you were almost completely submerged, wanting to numb all the pain inside your body and mind.
You eyes were red and swollen, and you couldn't remember crying so much since that day the doctor diagnosed you. Why was life so unfair? You wanted your old life back again. The life where Bucky didn't detest you, the one where he was happily and wonderfully in love with you.
You lay back, letting the water cover you completely. You closed your eyes, your hair gently swirling around your face. You opened your mouth and screamed, bubbles erupting to the surface.
Eventually you emerged, gasping and coughing, your tears hot in contrast to your frozen face. Your body wracked with sobs, shaking uncontrollably.
You sank back down into the water, your mouth opening once more to scream in uncontrollable rage. It was cathartic, your fists clenched into balls as you willed the feelings inside you to just - disappear.
When you opened your eyes beneath the water, you nearly gasped at the sight of a blurry, warped figure above you. You didn't have time to do anything when arms were suddenly encasing themselves around you, lifting you to the surface.
You spluttered and coughed, your ears assaulted by the voice that once whispered sweet nothings in your ear.
"- the fuck are you doing? Are you okay?"
Bucky.
You blinked past the water in your eyes, bewildered at the sight of him, kneeling beside the bathtub with his hands gripping your shoulders. His bright blue eyes were scared, wide open with concern.
You were startled at his sudden appearance, unable to say anything as he scooped you out, lifting you with ease. You were clearly in shock and scared.
You collapsed against him as he sat down on the bathroom floor with you in his arms.
"What were you doing?â Bucky was appalled as he pulled you close to him, watching how you continued to weep, blinking blearily at him. Your body was ice cold, every inch of you soaked.
He whipped a towel down from the railing beside you, wrapping it around your body as you shivered uncontrollably.
"Bu - Bucky?" You asked, as if you couldn't fathom why he was here. You were almost convinced you were hallucinating.
"Fuck, we need to get you out of these clothes," Bucky said, gritting his teeth as he tried not to cry. He had so much to say to you. He wanted you to know how sorry he was, how he didn't mean anything he said, but now wasnât the time. He had to be strong for you.
You felt like a baby as Bucky removed your soaking wet garments until you were naked, then immediately swaddled you with more towels. He picked you up completely off the floor and took you out of the bathroom.
He chose to place you down on the edge of the bed, positioning himself to kneel down in front of you.
"Bucky," you whispered, voice thick, trying to pull away from him. âI think you should just leave me alone."
He stiffened. It scared him to hear you talk like this, to see you look at Bucky with such defeat in your eyes.
âNo,â he said resolutely. âI'm here now, okay? I'm here, I'm not leaving, and I need you to be with me. I need you here, talking to me.â
"I can't. I can't do this anymore. Just go, please."
Bucky looked at you then. Really looked at you. The woman he loved and misunderstood for so long was now a trembling wreck in front of him, skin paper thin and trembling like a leaf. You looked so vulnerable and sad, and it made his heart twist.
Bucky suddenly held you tight against his chest, tucking his nose against the crook of your neck, and you didn't resist.
"Do you have any idea how much I hate myself? I hate myself for letting you go through this alone. I hate myself for telling you all those lies that night. I love you, I love you, I love you," Bucky said, wishing that you would see it.
âDonât.â
âI wish you had told me. I would have helped you. You should have told me. I canât believe you -â
You realized now that Sam must've told him the truth, and you sighed softly.
"I'm not good for you, Bucky," you whispered. "I will only ever hurt you, put you through more pain."
"I know everything now," Bucky said firmly. "No matter what happens, I will gladly endure it as long as it means we're no longer apart."
âDonât be so stupid,â you said, anger tearing through your voice, though the tears were still falling. âIâm broken, Buck. I canât give you a future. Please just find someone else - stay with Sharon.â
âSharon?â If you hadnât mentioned her name, Bucky would never have even thought about her. âNo - weâre not serious, doll. She was never going to be the one.â
âNo,â you insisted. âIf not her, then fine, find someone else. Just not me.â
âWhy arenât you listening?â Bucky asked furiously. âI love you. Iâve always loved you. Please donât do this. I need you." He was desperate to make you see, to make you understand. It was you or nothing. "You donât know how awful the past few years have been. I donât want to be apart from you, please.â He was prepared to grovel at your feet and beg.
He hated himself for how easily he gave up two years ago. This time, he was not letting you leave him.
His beautiful blue eyes pleaded with you, and you felt your barricades crumble. Your arms finally moved to wrap around him, and he felt a wave of relief as he encircled you in his arms. You had missed this, the feeling of Bucky holding you so tenderly.
You didnât know if you were making the right choice, but you wanted to give in so badly and just let yourself be selfish and enjoy what time you could have together. And now that Bucky had you back by his side, he was definitely not going to let you go.
Even if they were in pieces, at least they were together. And Bucky was positive that they could put those pieces back into a whole, as long as you gave it a chance.
"You're so stupid," you said through your tears.
"I don't think so," Bucky said, managing the smallest smile. "Just stupidly in love with you."
You wanted to stay like this forever, entangled in each others arms. He pulled back slowly to study your face, and leaned in to press a gentle kiss against your lips. He kissed you again, deeper this time, breathing you in.
âYou owe me two years of kisses,â he mumbled.
You laughed softly, but it soon died. First, you had a lot of talking to do. You used the following hour to tell him the details about your illness, why you had left, how sorry you were for treating Bucky the way you did when you broke up with him.
"You're so dumb," Bucky had said, sounding furious for a moment. "You had no right to decide something like that for me. You know I would support you.â
"I know, Buck," you had interrupted. "That's exactly why I had to leave. I didn't want you to see me die, okay?"
You had looked like you were about to cry again, so Bucky stopped scolding you immediately. He would never make you cry again, he swore.
"You're here now," he said, kissing your temple. "We're together now. Everything feels...right again."
You swallowed, biting your lip. "I told you, my cancer is back and -"
"You'll get better again," he said, refusing to look at you. You knew that tears were in his eyes. "You'll get better, okay?" His voice wavered slightly.
"It's worse this time, Bucky," you said. "Look at me. I'm practically withering away."
"You'll get better," he said, clenching his teeth.
You didn't say anything, just nestled against Buckyâs chest, relishing the way he wrapped his arms securely around your frame as if you would disappear at any moment.
Maybe he was right. Maybe by some miracle, with Bucky by your side, you would be able to give him all the time in the world.
"I'll try to stick around," you whispered.
#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky x female reader#bucky barnes#bucky angst#sebastian stan#bucky barns fanfiction#bucky barns imagine#bucky barns x you#bucky
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post euro Jude Bellingham story part 2 yall got me so hyped up I had to write a part two to it, ah and I like it, hope you guys like it too! warnings: well, just a bit of sexy times and as always, sorry for typos
He didnât remember the last time he experienced morningâs silence and stillness. What he could remember is how every morning started when he was a boy. His mother waking him up, layers of sheets between his legs, gentle morning air hitting his senses and birds chirping outside the windows, slow eye blinks. He woke up on his own today and he could hear the birds. When was the last time he heard birds chirping? And when was the last time he slept so well?
A gentle movement on his side and he remembered he wasnât alone. When he turned to his right his eyes met with the sight of her face, few strands of hair falling down her cheek and nose. Soft sounds of breathing, her chest rising and falling peacefully. The view astounded him for a second, stupefied even. Suddenly something so obvious showed itâs way to the surface. Suddenly he remembered it was all he wanted this whole time.
He fixed her hair, pulling them away from her face so it wouldnât bother her. She stirred a little, her lips ajar, she sighed and he could hear his name leaving her lips. For a second he though she woke up, but then some more incoherent words followed and he realised she was still asleep. She dreamed of him, and he wondered if she could see him in her dreams the way he saw her in his.
The clock on his phone showed it was 7am. Twelve hours of sleep was quite a lot, but he felt much better. He considered waking her up, because he knew she suffered the worst migraines when she slept more than nine hours, yet she seemed to be in way too deep slumber. He chose not to.
Quietly he headed to take a shower and then went downstairs in a need of water.
âMorning, did you sleep well?â his motherâs voice startled him at first and he stopped in his tracks in the direction of the water jug.
A mysterious smile on her face as she looked at him, some papers in her hands, some more laid out on the counter in front of her.
âMorning. Yes I didâ he nodded, observant and focused on his motherâs expression.
âIs she awake?â her attention back on the document in her hold.
âNoâ
âI guess you were both in need of a good restâ
âWhy are you smiling like that?â he could not let that slip.
âLike what?â her face jerked back up to look at him.
âItâs that look and that smile that says that you know something I donâtâ
She chuckled. A few seconds of silence.
âDo you need privacy?â she asked all of a sudden.
âSorry?â
That smile back up on her face.
âYour dad and Jobe are on the training. I can make you both some breakfast or I can leaveâ her voice gentle when she started collecting the papers and putting it into a tidy stack.
âWhat are you insinuating?â his eyes narrowed when she walked up to him.
âYou always make the right choices, darling. Time to make this one as well, itâs been too longâ she pecked his cheek lovingly before disappearing into the hall.
-
You blinked a few times as your eyes begun to accustom to the very bright surroundings. You were in your clothes, in a big bed, not very familiar at first. Your head felt slightly heavy, you could tell your face was a bit swollen. What time was it? You turned your head in an instinct and moaned hiding your face in your hands.
âWere you watching me sleep, Bellingham?â
He chuckled in response.
âYou know, you developed a new sleeping face. Never seen this oneâ you could feel him move closer to you.
âYouâre a creep!â you whined still covering yourself.
âCouldnât help myself. Itâs cuteâ
You took a peak through your fingers to look at him. Gentle smile on his face, he looked healthier. And his torso was bare. Right.
âWhat time is it?â
âEightâ
âIn the morning?!â you sat up and regretted it in an instant as dizziness hit you, your eyes filled with many black spots.
You turned to look back at him, head supported on his hand as he laid down.
âYes, you slept for thirteen hours. You wonât dieâ
You suddenly started to feel giddy. What a lovely morning sight.
âYouâre indecentâ you acknowledged with an assertive look on your face âPut some shirt onâ
âDoes it bother you?â he laughed changing his position to lay back down, his hands behind his head.
âAre you flexing your muscles for me?â you jested, fighting the smirk that tried to sneak up to your lips.
âI can tell youâre absolutely enjoying itâ
After his words your gaze trailed lower, down his stomach and you turned your head abruptly.
âThatâs it, Iâm leaving this bed. Iâm in desperate need of a showerâ
âDonât go yetâ he called after you as you begun to search for your bag âYou can use mine. Letâs eat breakfast togetherâ
You smiled at the proposition, feeling morose at the thought of parting with your friend so soon. So you agreed.
-
âYou have some jam on your chin, clumsyâ you frowned at his comment, his big eyes glowing with amusement as he watched you trying to wipe it off.
âNot thereâ he tutted, using his thumb to do the job for you.
This simple act, this gentle touch warmed your heart ever so greatly, you could feel your cheeks heating up and you quickly looked down at the remains of your food, so he would not notice them redden. Moment like this made a fast turn towards a more melancholic feeling, because youâve missed him terribly every single day. Both of you chose so different directions in your lives, you could not do much about the fact that you were falling apart. And you were grown ups now, facing serious obstacles that would not allow you to constantly act so openly and freely like right now. You wondered if he had someone. This element often changed, so you found it difficult to keep track.
You stood up grabbing your plates and mugs to wash them.
âIs everything okay, y/n?â he called after you and you shuddered, trying to focus on the task.
âYes, why?â your voice stable.
âYou seem downâ without turning his way you could tell he followed you, his voice much closer.
You will not bring up this subject. You will let things be.
But you stood stiff, a mug in your hand and you didnât move in the slightest, paralyzed by analysing everything in your head so thoroughly. Taking a breath you placed the mug in the sink and put your palms on the counter in front of you. You heart was too heavy to remain silent on the matter. And that kiss from last night that filled you with undying happiness at first, now started playing with your stability.
He came up to you, his palms resting on top of yours, playing with your fingers. He was close, you could not feel his body but you felt the warmness of it.
âI donât know where to put you in my mind and heart, Judeâ you whispered, staring at the windows in front of you, but the view was blurred.
He placed his head on your shoulder, much closer now, you could feel his chest pressed against your shoulder blades. You closed your eyes.
âI wanted to kidnap you when you decided to leave to Japanâ a soft whisper in your ear âI wanted to lock you up in my house to make it impossible for you to leave. Itâs selfish but I still think of it to this day. Every time we see each other, I want to tie you up and keep you with meâ one of his hands reached up to gather your hair, moving it away from your neck and face. You bent your head to the side and let him âHow is that fair, itâs the life you dreamed about, doing what you love and here I was, also determined to reach my goals but so selfish I wanted to crush yoursâ he murmured into your skin, his lips now lower, under your ear âI started to plan and analyse a lot in my head, started thinking: what can I provide for you that would made you stay with me?â soft words breathed against your skin, you shivered wondering if he considered to kiss you next. You wanted him to and anticipated, your skin warm and body desperate. You were so desperate for his touch, other men could never surpass it.
But he reached for your hands to hold it up, wrapping both of your arms around you. He hugged you from behind, you nestled into him.
âTook me some time but I have come to the conclusion that we donât have to part with our own lives to share themâ the sentence made you open your eyes, you turned your head to look up at him. His gaze soft and tender, a smirk slowly appearing on his face, probably at the sight of your big round eyes âWould you like for us to share them, share all of it, no exceptions?â
You frowned, turning in his arms to face him. A race of thoughts rumbling in your brain. No lie to it - it scared you a bit.
âBut itâs such a big distanceâŠâ
His hands reached for your face to hold it up for him, the expression on his face calm but determined. You admired him, admired the man he became.
âAt some point there will be no distance, we have all the time in the worldâ he smiled reassuringly and you focused on the feeling of his fingers grazing your skin âAnd I will retire around 40â he added with a shrug of his shoulders, making you chuckle âBut before that, your programme in Tokio is in for about three more years if I remember well, I will respect it if you decide to stay but if not, you can join meâ the honesty and plea visible in his eyes made your heart melt, the sensation almost reaching your eyes but you blinked keeping your vision clear. You wanted to keep looking at him, drinking the sight of him, he was so beautiful.
Lost for words you nodded, took a breath and nestled your cheek into his hand. You heart lighter, your head quieter.
âI want that very muchâ you whispered âBut letâs take it slow, okay?â you asked while his thumb slid down your throat, caressing the skin there, his face close to yours.
He nodded in response, his lips ajar, lids heavier as he leaned into you. You could tell he was as desperate as youâve been all this time. He closed the final distance between you and the kiss was gentle, freeing, considerate. You let him lead you, your senses drinking only him, his touch and his closeness.
âI kissed you last nightâ he murmured against your lips before connecting you again.
âYesâ you breathed pulling away but he was quick to kiss you back.
The contact heating up, his movements speeding up, turning more determined. It excited you to the point of breakage, your hands grasping at him more certainly, your lips matching the intensity. You wanted to take it slow, take gentle steps to not ruin it all on the start. But you were losing the common sense. His hands slowly travelled down your body, resting on your hips, after a second he added more strength to his grasp, unconsciously you pressed into him and your whole body answered with an electric shock. Placing your hand on his chest you pushed him gently away from you. He blinked slowly, his eyes wild and dark, his breathing rapid. Your legs weak at the sight. You didnât have enough strength to say no to him. He just have to say a word. But he smirked, took a few steps back and with a big breath rested down on the chair standing near the kitchen island.
âYou look so sexy in my clothesâ he murmured eyeing you down and you snorted under your breath, remembering that you were clad in his shorts and t-shirt, way too big for you.
You considered your look ridiculous.
âBut I really want to take them off right nowâ
His loose posture, long legs, broad shoulders, fiery gaze in those bed eyes and his words made you tremble where you stood. You wanted to ravish him, jump on him and ride him right here and right now, sat on this chair. Your hands on his shoulders, nails dug into the skin there, his big hands on your ass, guiding you with a rhythm he preferred, you screaming out as he filled you. Breath hitched in your throat and you shifted from one foot to the other because there was an unyielding pressure torturing you, making every part of your body pulsing with desire.
âSlowâ you breathed, reminding yourself, warning him, and he smiled cheekily, a spark in his eyes.
He was dangerous.
âI can fuck you slowâ
âJudeâ you warned again.
Why you wanted to keep on fighting it? Youâve already lost.
Taking a step you tried to run from him but to no avail, he reached for you and easily pulled you into his lap making you straddle him. You squeaked in surprise.
âWhat if someone walks in?!â you panicked.
âWeâre aloneâ after pulling you closer to him.
âWhat if they come back?â your voice sharp, despite the fact that all your insides shook with arousement.
âThey wonâtâ he kept looking at you intensively.
You rolled your eyes at his ignorance, you were truly worried sick someone might catch you in such position.
âRude. Iâm going to make your eyes roll while I have my way with youâ
You mouth opened in shock, he was so straightforward, you did not expect it. You let out a little laugh.
âWhat makes you think you will be that good?â and almost immediately regretted that question.
His hips shot up to put more pressure to where you were connected and you gasped when your body instantly reacted at the friction. Your hands grasping his shoulders. Your cheeks quickly heating up.
âYouâre already almost there, arenât you?â his voice much deeper now.
You fumed at his perkiness because you wanted to prove him different, wanted to dominate him as much, but you had to admit that the way he toyed with you was exciting. If he keeps his game, heâll surely ruin you.
âAre you?â you taunted, rolling your hips back and forward, making you both feel the power of this sensation.
He groaned, his hold on your hips strong and you breathed repeating the motion. Oh, for the love of God, he looked divine with his heavy lids closing on itâs own, his full lips apart, focused on your movements. You leaned into him, his head resting on the back of the chair, facing the ceiling, your hands outstretched behind him. You kissed him, ferociously, using your tongue and he jerked under you, his hands wandering over your back and nape.
âOh, you areâ you purred quietly with a victorious smile when you pulled back, his lips searching for yours.
His head still thrown back when he chuckled breathlessly, making you bite your lip at the sexiness of it. Your head dizzy at the sound of his throaty laugh. If you donât stop now, there will be a mess.
âI have to reconsider the idea of tying you down so you wonât run away. Because I am going to have you today and I donât think it will be enough for meâ he declared pressing you hard onto him, the sharp pull making you whine.
#football imagine#football fics#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham#bellingham x reader#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham blurb#jude bellingham one shot#jude bellingham fic#jude bellingham x reader
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