#I still think about them sometimes I love them. my kids
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RANDOM ASTRO OBSERVATIONS #10
Nobody's safe. That's it. That's the disclaimer.
Libra Jupiter in 11th house can indicate having many opportunities in life that come through friendships and connections with others. People with this placement can often get very far in life simply because they talked to the right people at the right times. This is especially true if they also have Libra in their big 3 or Libra mercury.
Capricorn suns with Sagittarius mercury are surprisingly chill compared to the usual stoic reputation of Capricorn and energetic rep that Sagittarius has. My favorite friends and colleagues have this combination of placements and they are quite easy to get along with and fun to be around.
Very much like Virgo suns with Libra mercury, they can appear quiet and reserved at first, but become lively and chatty once they know you and have decided they like you. However unlike Virgo sun/Libra mercury people (who usually censor their words/tone and think out loud or form their opinions by talking through them first), not only are they a lot blunter (or straightforward, when older), they are more sure about where they stand, or certain of what they want to say on a topic before they say it.
Libra Mercury in the 11th house can have a lot of friends or just make and keep acquaintances very easily. These are the people who always "know a guy" or can say "my homegirl does that!" almost no matter what problem or need you have. They just know someone who can fix it. They are popular people, or at least seem that way to others.
They can sometimes appear to have a much larger network of friends and connections than they do, which is why many of them tend to either keep their friend/friend groups separate or may prefer to maintain superficial/lightweight connections with others over deeper and more intimate connections that would reveal more.
Capricorn Venus in 8th house people can go through a lot of one-sided relationships before landing the right person. They are probably the most caring and attentive of all the Venus sigs, but from my observations they are taken advantage of a lot and often treated very poorly by the majority of their partners.
My childhood friend has this placement (as well as a few of my relatives) and for over a decade I watched her pour so much love and care into men who ended up treating her like an afterthought. I never understood why, as she was very much what you'd think most males would consider wifey material.
She cooked, baked, was organized, and very clean. Motherly instincts intact, had a good job in healthcare and her own place. Knew how to kick back and have fun but could also be appropriately authoritative in the sense of managing a household. Like you could just tell she would be a firm yet loving mother, or even if she did not have kids, you could tell she would be the kind of wife where the husband could hand her his entire paycheck if he wanted and not have to worry for a second that she would blow it on anything foolish. Very capable and responsible woman. I used to get so angry at the way men would come into her life and enjoy all the things she would do for them, including having her manage their money. It was a bit surprising for me how quickly and easily men would put their finances in her hands, only for them to abruptly leave - usually for a woman who was chaotic and stressful too. I did not understand it then, and despite hearing all the talk about how men go for who they are passionate about even if they are the least productive, responsible, or capable person ever, I still don't get it now.
Capricorn in the 8th house can lead to a lot of situations where the native ends up handling other people's money because people can sense their stable energy and innate responsibility. But it can lead to the person feeling like they are nothing but a personal assistant or sentient savings account to others, and over time they can become (100% understandably) bitter if they do not meet someone genuine and kind in time to avoid this.
Aquarius in 6th house can have unusual or eccentric daily routines, or little quirks in the way they go about day to day tasks and responsibilities. I knew someone with this placement who could only brush his teeth in the morning and shower at night. He couldn't really bring himself to do it the other way around and would simply not do the thing at all that day if something disrupted that routine. He also had a job where his # of hours was consistent but his actual shift times weren't and he liked it that way "for the variety." He hated the thought of a schedule where he would have to arrive and leave at the same time every day.
Cancer Lilith in 1st house women can often run into situations where men string them along for a very, very long time. These men sense the stereotypical "nurturing/motherly" essence of Cancer but Cancer Lilith women display a unique twist on this essence where it is very clear to onlookers that her individuality and sense of self cannot be watered down or blended out into others.
Cancer Lilith 1H (and to a lesser extent Taurus Lilith 1H) women are the type who can have a husband, kids, work and manage the home without losing a single ounce of who they always were.
From my observations, they usually don't experience the fate many women meet, where they wake up one day and realize that they haven't even heard their first name in weeks because they're only remembered and referred to in terms of who they are to someone else ("Mom," "John's girlfriend," "Mr. Jones' wife").
Unfortunately, this rubs some men the wrong way, who will then subconsciously try to hang on to the parts of the Cancer Lilith women they like, while searching for other women who don't trigger their fear of women who retain their personality after marriage/children.
Gemini Sun Virgo Rising people can appear put-together and organized in public but could have very messy rooms or just have trouble keeping things in order at home.
People with Pisces in their 7th house might feel torn between going after people they are genuinely attracted to and people they perceive to be a better match, for whatever reason. They could also end up confusing the sense of security they feel with someone for love, or feeling more secure with someone than they should because of love.
Gemini Mars in 10th house does not mind going out of their comfort zone to further their career. They may even set aside their own values and morals if they believe that doing something will produce a good return on their investment (of time, effort, money, etc.).
Taurus Mercury in 9th house enjoys talking to people from other cultures about the foods they eat and what their daily routines and special/holiday ritual are like. They enjoy learning about other cultures on a more down-to-earth level, so they might be less interested in other philosophies and more into sensory differences.
Cancer Moon in 11th house identifies VERY strongly with their friend group and can become depressed or ill if there is too much discord between themselves and their friends, or between their friends with each other. They do not take kindly to any kind of abandonment from friends, real or imagined. If they decide you have left them or betrayed them one too many times, they will simply never speak to you again.
Virgo Mars people can be extremely picky when it comes to partners. One of my childhood friends has this placement and despite being a Sagittarius Sun & Mercury (along with having Venus in 9H), she barely has a romantic interest in anyone. She's not aromantic or asexual; she just gets the ick so easily that it is difficult for her to like anyone enough to date them for long. She didn't go into detail most of the time. She was the furthest from the kiss-and-tell kind of person, she would barely tell anyone even the name or age of anyone she was interested in, much less give details about her specific icks.
I tend to attract Virgo Mars people platonically and romantically quite often though, so I have other examples of the same trait.
My ex-husband is a Virgo sun with Virgo Mars and Leo Venus and the smallest things would throw him off. Like if I made scrambled eggs and all the pieces weren't perfectly yellow (if any got slightly browned, he would consider the entire pot as "burnt" and would ruin his day). If I did laundry and did not strictly separate the colors (I will wash black, dark grey, and bold colors clothes together. He will separate them all. I will wash off-white and very light grey or beige with white clothes. He would look at me crazy and ask me to just do a different household chore and leave the laundry to him. Hea
He also apparently got the ick from my frugality? Lol. I had cheap sneakers and dollar-store headphones when we first got together. A few weeks later he asked where I was and I told him I was at the mall with a friend. He showed up and wordlessly gave me brand-new Samsung Galaxy earbuds before driving home lmao. Then a couple weeks after that he bought me new AirMaxes and made it a point to tell me that my existing sneakers were so cheap. And that he got good ones for me in a style that "makes your feet look smaller." I guess my foot size was not to his liking. Lol. I'm almost 6 feet tall and wear size 9.5/10 women's shoes (for males reading this, that is around 8/8.5 in your sizes, so don't start, pls
A previous ex of mine (Cancer Sun) also had Virgo Mars (and Venus) but he had the opposite ick - he didn't like that I always wore nice jeans and blouses even if we were only going to Walmart or his friends' houses. Apparently, it was "off-putting" for him that I was "too fancy, never just dress down and look comfortable, even in the house." I was like... but I am comfortable? And he would be like, "Nah you're so fancy all the time, it's kinda weird, like do you even own any sweatpants? Your hair is never messy? It's like you're never just relaxed."
Um, as a Scorpio Venus/Jupiter, Libra Mercury person, messy hair will never be in the same room as comfortable for me but we are broken up for a reason, LOL.
Yeah Virgo Mars are just really, really picky. Idk how else to put it. They might be bothered by very different things, but they're all bothered in general! Love 'em regardless, they're also attentive and will know what you like and also what you need.
Leo Mars in 2nd house can have a hard time feeling satisfied with what they own or with their level of skill in certain areas. They don't usually express envy outwardly though. They will happily gas up their friends and colleagues, but implode on themselves in private.
They can have frequent pity parties or episodes of extreme self-loathing that only their closest friends or partners ever witness. It can be difficult to pull them out of these moods as they tend to feel like they either don't have enough or are not enough in some way.
Aquarius Eros men and masculine people are often attracted to women and feminine people with strong or eccentric personalities. They lust after the kinds of people who didn't even bother rocking the boat and jumped out to swim upstream and chill somewhere else.
However, unless they have Juno in Aquarius, Aquarius 7H or some other placements that support long-term relationships/marriages/longevity with unusual people or non-traditional elements, they eventually abandon such love interests for someone who fits better into societal expectations. Ask me how I know. :(
#astrology observations#astrology#astro notes#astro observations#astrology tumblr#astrology notes#astrology signs#astrology blog#astro posts#helslastangel#random observations
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Hi!!!
May I request something a little angsty to sweet?? š
An X-men x teen!reader with that one trope where itās like:
āYouāre not my dad/mom!ā
āI know that, do you?ā
With characters: Scott Summers, Logan Howlett, Storm, Beast, Magneto, and gambit
X-Men x Teen!Reader
You tell them that they are not your dad/mom during an argument
In the heat of the argument, the words slip outāsharp, hurtful. Their faces fall, stunned and wounded, but thereās a quiet pain in your own heart too, because you know the truth. Later, in the stillness, you find yourself beside them, whispering apologies, and they hold you as if to say: family isnāt only blood, itās chosen.
Characters: Logan Howlett, Remy LeBeau, Kurt Wagner, Scott Summers, Jean Grey, Ororo Munroe, Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr, Hank McCoy, Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff & Wade Wilson
Ooh, you little evil spawn... I love this prompt, and I hope I have reached your expectations <3
Logan Howlett aka. Wolverine
- Loganās temper is legendary, but heās always managed to keep it in check around you, knowing you need stability. However, the moment you shout āYouāre not my dad!ā during a heated argument, he feels a pang of anger and hurt. Heās spent years looking after you, guiding you in his gruff way, and in that second, it stings. Without missing a beat, he snaps back, āI know that, kid. Do you?ā
- Thereās a cold silence afterward, and Logan storms off, muttering under his breath. He knows heās not technically your father, but youāre family to him. As he sits alone, drinking and stewing over the argument, he wonders if maybe heās failed you somehow. He thinks back to the times heād pulled you out of trouble or taught you some hard-won survival lessons, realizing just how deeply he cares.
- That night, the silence weighs heavy, and you feel a growing sense of regret. Logan has been the one constant in your life, a steady (if rough) presence whoās always had your back. You think about all the times heās risked himself for you, the moments heās tried to be there in his quiet, sometimes awkward way. It dawns on you that, without Logan, your life would be far lonelierāand that he truly has become a father figure.
- The next morning, Loganās in the kitchen, frying eggs and bacon, trying to act like everythingās normal. When you finally muster up the courage to apologize, he doesnāt make it easy. He just grunts, flipping the eggs with a rough edge to his voice, not looking up. But he listens. After you tell him how much he means to you, he lets out a long sigh, and with a gruff but softer voice, he tells you, āKid, you drive me crazy, but youāre family. You know that?ā
- Later, you notice Logan starts going a little easier on you, keeping the snark to a minimum and checking in a bit more often. The bond between you grows even stronger, and while heāll never be openly affectionate, you sense the quiet pride he has in you. If anyone tries to mess with you, Loganās first in line to make sure they regret it.
- From then on, whenever you call him āLoganā instead of āDad,ā he just smirks and raises an eyebrow, as if daring you to say what you really feel. In his own way, heās let you know that titles donāt matterāheāll always be there, watching your back like only a true family member would.
Remy LeBeau aka. Gambit
- Remy isnāt exactly the āstrict parentā type, so when you start an argument with him, youāre used to his laid-back attitude. But this time, he gets serious, which shocks you enough to yell, āYouāre not my dad!ā Remyās face goes still for a moment, then he raises an eyebrow with his usual calm demeanor, saying softly, āI know, cher. Do you?ā
- Remyās response hangs in the air, and he turns on his heel, leaving you to stew in the aftermath. Youāre left alone, staring after him and feeling a pang of guilt. Remy has always treated you like family, his warmth and charm making you feel safe and wanted. You remember the countless times heās been there for you, offering wisdom and laughter, even when youāve messed up.
- That night, you canāt shake the look on his faceācalm, yes, but with a hint of sadness. Remyās always seemed so self-assured, but in that moment, it felt like he genuinely wondered if heād overstepped. You begin to realize just how much heās done to make you feel like you belong, without ever asking anything in return.
- The next day, you find Remy in the Danger Room, practicing. Nervously, you walk up to him and mumble an apology, explaining that you didnāt mean what you said. He turns to you, an understanding smile softening his gaze. āSāalright, kiddo. I know you got fire in you. Just rememberāblood donāt make family.ā
- After that, Remyās even more of a constant presence, always ready to talk, laugh, or lend a hand. He starts making a point to remind you of your strengths, pushing you to see the best in yourself. Whenever he sees you slipping into self-doubt, heāll casually throw in a story of one of his own mistakes, just to remind you that heās been there tooāand that heāll always be there for you.
- Over time, you come to see Remy not just as a mentor, but as family, someone who chose to be in your life. He might not have the official title of ādad,ā but thereās no question about the bond between you two. Remyās heart is as big as his charm, and heās shown you that family is something you build, piece by piece.
Kurt Wagner aka. Nightcrawler
- Kurtās patience seems endless, so when you yell, āYouāre not my dad!ā in the heat of an argument, the words shock you as much as they shock him. Heās silent for a moment, then replies gently, āI know, but are you sure?ā Heās hurt but gives you a sad, understanding look before stepping away, giving you space to cool off.
- Afterward, the guilt eats away at you. Kurt has been nothing but kind and supportive, teaching you about acceptance and resilience, even when things are tough. His faith and positivity have been a guiding light in your life, and the thought of hurting him like this twists at your heart.
- You remember moments when he went out of his way to include you, especially when you felt like an outsider among mutants. Kurt has always been there, understanding what itās like to be different and offering comfort when you needed it most. It hits you that, despite not being your biological father, heās filled that role with all the love and patience he has.
- The next day, you find Kurt alone in the library, reading. You approach him, nervous but sincere, and apologize for what you said. He listens quietly, and when youāre done, he gives you a warm smile, saying, āItās alright, mein freund. I will always be here, no matter what.ā His forgiveness is immediate, his kindness knowing no limits.
- After that, Kurt becomes even more of a confidant, someone you know you can turn to for wisdom and understanding. He makes a point of reminding you that love is a choice, and heās chosen you as family. Whenever youāre down, heāll tell you stories of his own struggles, showing you that strength comes from within, even when life gets hard.
- The bond between you two only deepens, and Kurtās gentle presence is something you come to cherish. He may not be your dad by blood, but heās family through and through. Kurtās unwavering faith in you becomes a source of comfort, a reminder that youāre never truly alone as long as heās around.
Scott Summers aka. Cyclops
- Scott is used to being responsible and disciplined, so when you snap, āYouāre not my dad!ā during a heated disagreement, he doesnāt take it lightly. He stands there, tense and quiet, then responds, āI know. But do you?ā before walking away, clearly hurt but too proud to let it show.
- That night, you canāt stop replaying the argument in your head. Scott may be strict, but heās always had your best interests at heart. Heās spent countless hours training and guiding you, doing everything in his power to prepare you for the dangers of the world. As you think back, you start to feel the weight of what you said, realizing how much youāve taken him for granted.
- You begin to understand that, in his own quiet way, Scott has been a father figure to you, even if he doesnāt say it outright. Every stern lecture, every training sessionāit was his way of protecting you, showing he cared. The guilt eats at you, and you know you need to make things right.
- The next morning, you approach him in the War Room, nervous but determined. You tell him how much his guidance means to you, how you didnāt mean what you said. Scott listens carefully, his expression softening as he nods. āWeāre a team, and that means weāre family,ā he says firmly. āIām here for you, always.ā
- From then on, Scottās support becomes even more evident. He may not be the most openly affectionate, but he makes it clear that heās in your corner, no matter what. He starts opening up to you more, sharing his own struggles with responsibility, letting you see the weight he carries as a leader and mentor.
- Over time, you come to appreciate Scottās steady presence, realizing how lucky you are to have him as a father figure. He may be tough, but his loyalty is unwavering, and heāll always have your back. In Scott, you find a kind of steadfast strength that reminds you every day that family isnāt defined by bloodāitās built on respect, care, and unwavering support.
Jean Grey aka. Marvel Girl / Phoenix
- Jeanās kindness is boundless, so when you shout, āYouāre not my mom!ā during an argument, her expression drops, a mix of shock and sadness. She takes a deep breath, her voice calm but strained, and says, āI know, but I care about you just the same. Do you know that?ā With that, she steps back, giving you space to cool down, but the sadness in her eyes lingers.
- In the quiet that follows, you feel a pang of regret. Jean has always been there for you, her gentle support unwavering, guiding you with both warmth and patience. You remember the countless times sheās been there to comfort you, a soothing presence who never hesitated to make you feel loved. The memory of her expression, the way her shoulders slumped, makes you feel worse.
- That night, you find yourself replaying the argument over and over. You begin to realize how much Jeanās presence has shaped your life, that sheās been more than just a mentor or friendāsheās been like a mother, even if neither of you ever said it out loud. Each memory fills you with gratitude and a growing need to make things right.
- The next day, you find Jean in the garden, tending to the flowers with her usual care. Tentatively, you approach her, stumbling over an apology. She listens, her eyes soft as she pulls you into a gentle embrace. āItās okay,ā she murmurs. āI know these things arenāt easy. Iām here for you, no matter what.ā Her forgiveness is instant, her hug comforting, as if she understands all you canāt say.
- After that, Jean becomes even more of a mother figure, offering a patient ear and a shoulder to lean on whenever you need. Her kindness is a quiet strength that you come to lean on more and more. You notice she checks in on you more often, making sure you know sheās there, even when words donāt need to be said.
- Over time, you come to cherish her presence even more, recognizing her as your found family. With Jean, you feel safe, loved, and valued, and her quiet guidance reminds you every day that family doesnāt have to be by blood. Itās in the love you choose to share, and Jeanās love is as steady as the rising sun.
Ororo Munroe aka. Storm
- Ororoās calm strength is like a force of nature, but when you yell, āYouāre not my mom!ā itās as if a storm has passed through her eyes. She doesnāt lash out, doesnāt even raise her voice, but she looks at you with a steady gaze and says, āI know that, little one. Do you?ā Her words are gentle but piercing, and she leaves you to ponder them.
- That night, as the weight of your words sinks in, guilt gnaws at you. Ororo has always treated you with kindness and respect, guiding you through lifeās challenges with wisdom and care. Sheās been your rock, the person whoās grounded you, and you feel ashamed for taking her love and protection for granted.
- You think back to all the moments Ororo has been there for you: teaching you about the world, sharing her culture, and encouraging you to be true to yourself. You realize that sheās been more than a mentorāsheās been family. Her quiet strength and unwavering love have been like the rain, nourishing you and helping you grow.
- The next day, you find Ororo on the rooftop, gazing at the horizon. Gathering your courage, you apologize, explaining how much she means to you. She listens, her gaze as steady and calm as ever, before she gently places a hand on your shoulder. āI forgive you,ā she says with a small smile. āFamily isnāt always about blood. Itās about the bonds we choose.ā Her words bring you a comfort you hadnāt realized you needed.
- After that, Ororo takes on an even more motherly role, gently guiding you and always offering wisdom when you need it most. You start spending more time together, finding solace in her presence and strength in her words. She reminds you of your own resilience, always making you feel capable and valued.
- Ororoās love becomes a source of strength, and you come to see her as family in the truest sense. Her support is unwavering, her guidance is steady, and with her, you find the sense of belonging and family you never realized you craved. Sheās a mother figure, not by title but by choice, and her love fills a space in your heart you hadnāt known was empty.
Charles Xavier aka. Professor X
- Charles rarely shows disappointment, but when you yell, āYouāre not my dad!ā during an argument, thereās a flash of hurt in his eyes. He looks at you thoughtfully, his calm, composed demeanor intact, and simply says, āI know that, but are you sure?ā before quietly excusing himself. His voice is soft, but the weight of his words lingers.
- As the reality of your words hits you, a wave of guilt follows. Charles has dedicated himself to making you feel safe, offering guidance, structure, and endless patience. Heās been more than just a mentorāheās been a father figure, the one whoās always there to listen and guide you without judgment.
- You begin to reflect on all the small gestures heās made to show he cares, from teaching you with kindness to offering you advice when life felt overwhelming. Charles has seen potential in you from the start, treating you with respect and compassion, and the thought of hurting him leaves a knot in your chest.
- The next day, you approach his study, nervous but determined to apologize. Charles listens, his usual calm presence enveloping you in a sense of safety. He smiles gently, nodding as you express your regrets, and simply says, āI understand, and I forgive you.ā His forgiveness feels like a weight lifted, and he reminds you that love and family are choices, not just obligations.
- After that, you feel even closer to Charles, and he continues to be your steadfast supporter. He encourages you to pursue your strengths, guiding you with wisdom and patience, and you start to see him as a father figure you can truly depend on. His calm understanding becomes a source of comfort, a reminder that family can be chosen and built on mutual respect.
- Charlesās influence becomes a grounding force in your life, his guidance always there to lift you up. With him, you find a sense of belonging and love that goes beyond mere words. He may not be your biological father, but heās family in every way that matters, and his unwavering belief in you becomes a constant source of strength.
Erik Lehnsherr aka. Magneto
- Erik is not known for his patience, so when you yell, āYouāre not my dad!ā itās like a slap to the face. His eyes harden, his voice cold as he responds, āI know, but perhaps you donāt.ā With that, he turns away, his pride wounded but his expression betraying a flicker of sadness. For Erik, family is sacred, and your words cut deep.
- That night, guilt starts to creep in. Erik has been harsh, yes, but heās always shown you the value of strength, resilience, and conviction. Heās taught you to be bold, to stand up for yourself, and though his methods are tough, heās been there for you in ways that no one else has. You begin to realize how much you owe to his guidance.
- Memories flood back of times when Erikās fierce loyalty protected you, his dedication ensuring you never felt alone. Heās been like a father to you, albeit a strict one, and as the guilt weighs on you, you see that his rough edges have been his way of showing love, even if he doesnāt say it outright.
- The next day, you approach him with an apology, your voice shaky but sincere. Erik listens, his piercing gaze softened by something like understanding. He accepts your apology, and in his own stern way, he reminds you that strength is born of struggle. His words are harsh, but his forgiveness is there, hidden beneath his rough demeanor.
- From that moment on, Erikās presence becomes even more of a steady force in your life. He challenges you to be your best, pushing you to embrace your potential, and though he rarely shows open affection, his actions speak louder than words. Heāll protect you fiercely, his bond with you deepening as he takes on the role of a mentor and protector.
- Erikās influence makes you feel strong and capable, and while heās a difficult figure to love, you know that heās chosen you as family. His pride and determination inspire you to believe in yourself, and even if heāll never say it directly, his loyalty is proof that youāre family to him, forged through fire and unbreakable.
Hank McCoy aka. Beast
- Hank is rarely one to raise his voice, but when you blurt out, āYouāre not my dad!ā in the heat of an argument, he freezes. For a moment, heās quiet, his face clouded with hurt before he gives you a calm but serious look. āIām aware of that. But Iāve always tried to be here for you, havenāt I?ā His voice is gentle, yet his words sting in a way you hadnāt anticipated. Without another word, he leaves, giving you the space you both clearly need.
- As you cool down from the argument, guilt quickly sets in. Hank has been nothing but patient and caring, always offering you understanding and support when you needed it most. His gentle presence has been a source of comfort, and the memory of the sadness in his eyes makes you realize how deeply youāve hurt him.
- Reflecting on all the times Hank has been there for you, you remember how he would stay up late to help you with your studies, his voice soft and encouraging as he shared his vast knowledge. His kindness was never forced; he genuinely cared, and you start to see that heās been like a father figure all along, even if neither of you ever put a name to it.
- The next day, you find Hank in the lab, engrossed in his work as usual. Hesitantly, you apologize, struggling to find the right words. Hank stops what heās doing, looking at you with that familiar, gentle expression. āI appreciate your apology,ā he says, his tone warm and forgiving. He doesnāt need to say much to make you feel better; his soft smile is enough to lift the weight from your shoulders.
- After that, Hank is still there for you, but the bond between you feels stronger. He seems to make an effort to check in on you more often, even gently guiding you through lifeās challenges with his usual wisdom and warmth. You realize how much youāve come to rely on him as a steady presence in your life.
- Hankās compassion and patience become pillars of support as you grow, and he becomes more than just a mentorāheās family. His encouragement and gentle guidance make you feel valued, and you start to understand that family isnāt just about blood; itās about those who choose to stand by you, even when things get tough. With Hank, youāve found a father figure in the truest sense.
Wanda Maximoff aka. The Scarlet Witch
- When you yell, āYouāre not my mom!ā in a heated moment, Wandaās eyes flash with pain. She takes a deep breath, her voice steady but laced with hurt as she responds, āI know Iām not. But Iāve always tried to be there for you, havenāt I?ā Her voice is soft, a mix of sadness and disappointment that lingers in the air as she turns away, giving you the space you clearly need.
- Guilt settles over you like a weight as you recall everything Wanda has done for you. Sheās been a constant source of love and protection, going out of her way to create a safe space for you in a chaotic world. Her kindness has been unwavering, and the memory of her hurt expression leaves you feeling remorseful.
- You begin to remember all the times Wanda has comforted you, her gentle presence like a soothing balm when the world felt overwhelming. Sheās always known what to say, her intuition guiding her as she wrapped you in warmth and reassurance. You realize how much her presence means to you, that sheās been a mother figure even if you never said it.
- The next day, you approach Wanda, the words of an apology on your lips. She listens, her eyes softening as you explain how sorry you are. She pulls you into a gentle hug, murmuring, āItās okay. I understand.ā Her forgiveness is immediate, her embrace warm and reassuring, and you feel the weight of your guilt lift as you lean into her.
- After that, Wanda continues to be there for you, her love as constant and unwavering as ever. Sheās more protective, always ensuring you know youāre loved and valued. Her presence feels like home, a reminder that family is more than just titles; itās the bond you share and the love that endures even through difficult moments.
- Over time, Wanda becomes even more of a mother figure, her guidance and love anchoring you as you grow. With her, you find a sense of belonging, a family built on mutual care and understanding. Wandaās love becomes a source of strength, and you come to see her as family in the truest sense.
Pietro Maximoff aka. Quicksilver
- Pietro has always been quick to defend you, so when you shout, āYouāre not my dad!ā during an argument, his face falls, his usual bravado replaced by a flicker of hurt. He hesitates, then responds with a hint of vulnerability, āI know Iām not. But I care about you, and thatās not going to change.ā He doesnāt say much more, leaving with a hint of frustration and sadness.
- Your heart aches almost immediately after the words leave your mouth. Pietro has always been a constant in your life, fiercely protective and ready to do anything to keep you safe. His loyalty has been unwavering, and the memory of his hurt expression weighs on you, leaving you feeling guilty.
- As the regret settles in, you begin to think back to all the moments Pietro has been there for you, his fast-paced life slowing down whenever you needed him. His protectiveness might come off as overbearing, but itās always been rooted in love. You realize how much you mean to him, that heās been like a father figure, even if neither of you put it into words.
- The next day, you find him in the training room, going through a series of drills. Nervously, you approach him with an apology. Pietro pauses, listening intently, and his usual cocky grin returns as he wraps an arm around your shoulder, saying, āDonāt worry, kid. Family fights sometimes.ā His words are light, but thereās a warmth in his tone that makes you feel forgiven.
- From then on, Pietro is still as protective as ever, though he seems to make an extra effort to remind you that heās there for you. He includes you in his adventures, always finding ways to bring laughter and excitement into your life. His loyalty is fierce, and you find comfort in the way heās chosen to stand by you.
- Pietroās support becomes a source of strength, and over time, you come to see him as family. Heās there for you in ways that matter, his love loud and unfiltered. With him, youāve found a father figure whoās more than willing to face the world at your side, his loyalty a constant reminder that family is chosen as much as it is given.
Wade Wilson aka. Deadpool
- Wadeās never been the most conventional parental figure, but when you snap, āYouāre not my dad!ā he goes silent. Itās rare to see him at a loss for words, but the hurt that flickers across his face is hard to miss. After a pause, he says, āHey, I know that, but... I kinda thought we had something here, yāknow?ā He tries to play it off, but the sadness in his voice lingers as he gives you space.
- Almost immediately, regret starts to settle in. Wade has been your protector, your friend, and even if heās unconventional, heās always made sure youāre safe. Heās taught you to laugh, to find humor even in dark situations, and the thought of hurting him leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.
- You think back to all the times Wade has made you feel cared for, his offbeat sense of humor a constant source of comfort. Heās been like a father in his own chaotic way, always finding unique ways to show he cares. The memory of his hurt expression haunts you, and you feel a strong need to make things right.
- Finding Wade isnāt hard; heās at the usual hangout, cracking jokes to mask whatever heās feeling. You approach him, offering an apology, and he listens, his face breaking into a goofy grin. āOh, kid, you canāt get rid of me that easy!ā he teases, pulling you into a bear hug thatās both ridiculous and comforting.
- After that, Wade goes back to being his usual chaotic self, but heās even more protective, throwing around jokes about being your āself-appointed, totally unofficial, slightly psychotic dad.ā His antics make you laugh, and you come to appreciate his unique way of showing love, realizing heās been there for you all along.
- Wadeās love may be unorthodox, but itās real, and over time, you come to see him as family. Heās the loud, unpredictable presence you didnāt know you needed, his humor and loyalty bringing you a sense of belonging. With Wade, youāve found a father figure whoāll stand by you, his love chaotic and unconditional in every way that matters.
#logan howlett x reader#remy lebeau x reader#kurt wagner x reader#scott summers x reader#jean grey x reader#ororo munroe x reader#charles xavier x reader#erik lehnsherr x reader#hank mccoy x reader#wanda maximoff x reader#pietro maximoff x reader#wade wilson x reader#marvel#marvel comics#marvel x reader#marvel headcanon#marvel headcanons#marvel imagines#marvel imagine#x men#x men comics#x men x reader#x men headcanons#x men headcanon#x men imagines#comics#x reader#x men imagine
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I'm reviewing episode transcripts from "Merlin" to build up my worldbuilding document (character list, mostly) and, a little ways into S2, I'm kind of feeling like the show is actually quite mean to Arthur as a character sometimes? S1 E14: "To Kill the King" is one of those episodes where I forget how badly it pissed me off until I run into it again.
Like, don't get me wrong, Arthur can be a bully, entitled, hotheaded, and reckless, but he's also at this point risked his own life to save people multiple times. Both individuals whose lives were "worth less" than his own (getting the Mortaeus flower for a poisoned Merlin, smuggling Mordred out of the city, protecting Ealdor from bandits) and also Camelot as a whole (fighting the plague-causing monster in the sewers, fighting the mam-eating griffin, drinking poison to lift the unicorn curse).
Arthur is giving me vibes of being both bored and frustrated (and probably not able to name those feelings or exactly why he has them) because he wants so badly to do good things, but he's not really sure how to go about it because (no one ever tells him anything, he almost NEVER knows what's really going on to make informed choices, and) he's also stuck under the thumb of his tyrannical father, who spends most of their scenes together berating Arthur for being too merciful, for not being dutiful enough, and/or not finding sorcerers for execution fast enough. When Arthur tries to be fair-minded and compassionate, Uther often essentially tells him that he's going to be a weak king with that attitude.
Arthur's pathways to betterment are limited, his parent and role model and boss here is an AWFUL person, but he's trying!
So, it's quite frustrating to get to this one episode where characters like Gaius (extremely biased, admittedly, clearly not an objective individual) are saying things like: "Arthur's not ready. The responsibility would be too great. Brave though he may be, he lacks experience, he lacks judgement."
Like, I don't know, Arthur may be only 21 and kind of a dipshit, but I personally think he'd still do a better job than the guy who tried to kill a kid (Mordred) just for existing a few episodes ago? Maybe? Gwen's father, who wasn't even a sorcerer or knowingly working with one, is dead explicitly because of Uther's awful laws. Did everyone in this episode forget that Uther tried to BURN GWEN ALIVE AT THE STAKE not that long ago (Episode 3)?
ARTHUR: "[Morgana]'s right, Father. You hear the word magic, you no longer listen."
UTHER: "You saw it for yourself. She used enchantments."
ARTHUR: "Yes, maybe. But to save her dying father, that doesn't make [Gwen] guilty of creating a plague. One's the act of, of kindness, of love, the other of evil. I don't believe evil's in this girl's heart."
UTHER: "I have witnessed what witchcraft can do. I have suffered at its hand. I cannot take that chance. If there is the slightest doubt about this girl, she must die or the whole kingdom may perish."
ARTHUR: "I understand that."
UTHER: "One day you may become King. Then you will understand. Such decisions must be made. There are dark forces that threaten this kingdom."
ARTHUR: "I know. Witchcraft is an evil, father. So is injustice. Yes, I am yet to be King, and I don't know what kind of king I will be, but I do have a sense of the kind of Camelot I would wish to live in. It would be where the punishment fits the crime."
UTHER: "I fear you're right. She's played with fire, and sadly she must die by fire."
When the adult druid (Cerdan) accompanying Mordred is killed (Episode 8), Arthur objects afterwards! On his own! While Arthur is sometimes an active participant in Uther's tyranny and otherwise complicit, he's been told all of his life that magic is inherently evil and corrupting, he was raised by the very man spreading this hateful philosophy, he should probably hate magic more than anyone after Uther, and yet he still disagrees with Uther's methods and judgments. Even though Uther is apparently VERY willing to lock both his son (Episode 4) and his ward (Episode 8) in the dungeons for disagreeing with him and disobeying him!
ARTHUR: The Druid was only in Camelot to collect supplies. He meant no harm. Is it necessary to execute him?
UTHER: Absolutely necessary. Those who use magic cannot be tolerated.
ARTHUR: The Druids are a peaceful people.
UTHER: Given the chance, they would return magic to the kingdom. They preach peace, but conspire against me. We cannot appear weak.
ARTHUR: Showing mercy can be a sign of strength.
UTHER: Our enemies will not see it that way. We have a responsibility to protect this kingdom. Executing the Druid will send out a clear message. Find the boy. Search every inch of the city.
Obviously, running a kingdom is complicated! Uther apparently won Camelot by conquest and is in conflict with many of the neighboring kings, including Odin and Cenred, and likely has more of the respect of the local nobility than young Arthur does. Uther's death would create some instability! (Agravaine de Bois hasn't been created yet, but let's assume there are many other potential vultures.)
But the show generally isn't pushing that angle. This isn't really about smooth transitions of power. Personally, concerning Arthur's "lack of judgment", I do find his ready conviction that it is his duty to die for Camelot's honor if necessary (he says as much to Merlin explicitly before fighting Valiant in Episode 2, then again before fighting the Black Knight in Episode 9) more than a little concerning, but that doesn't seem to be angle pushed here either.
The show has characters (Merlin, Gwen, Gaius) suggesting that offing the King, who regularly kills innocent people whether they have magic or not, who has forbidden use of the tool that might have saved innocent people from Nimueh's plague or the wraith of Tristan de Bois, would be wrong! It would be murder and murder is bad! It would make (in the words of a grieving Gwen) her "just as bad" as him.
Even though Merlin has at this point already killed Aulfric and Sophia (Episode 7), as well as Mary Collins (Episode 1) because they were trying to kill Arthur. And arguably got an assist with Valiant (Episode 2). And will kill many more as the show goes on. This conversation with Kilgharrah in S1 E14 is in many ways so, so funny:
KILGHARRAH: Well, young warlock, what is it you come to ask of me?
MERLIN: I need your help.
KILGHARRAH: Of course you do, but this time, will you heed my words?
MERLIN: The sorcerer Tauren is plotting to kill the King. He's made an ally of Morgana. I don't know what to do!
KILGHARRAH: Doā¦ nothing.
MERLIN: What do you mean? If I do nothing, Uther will die.
KILGHARRAH: Don't you want Uther dead? It is Uther that persecutes you and your kind, Merlin. It is Uther that murders the innocentā¦
MERLIN: But surely that doesn't make it right to kill him.
KILGHARRAH: Only if Uther dies can magic return to the land. Only if Uther dies will you be free, Merlin. Uther's reign is at an end. Let Arthur's reign begin. Fulfil your destiny!
[The dragon flies off.]
MERLIN: Wait! Where does it say my destiny includes murder?
KILGHARRAH: Free this land from tyranny, Merlin! Free us all!
I feel for Kilgharrah here. He was VERY straightforward. I don't know how he could have been clearer about this.
I won't say that Merlin's character writing doesn't make ANY sense here (I do think the character writing in this show is NOT amazingly consistent), because... he IS being influenced by Gaius, who is, unfortunately, a bootlicker and also probably extremely traumatized by all of the death he's seen (big contributor of the bootlicking) (also, apparently Gaius only becomes a "freeman" at the end of Episode 6, so there's that). And Merlin is also being heavily influenced by Arthur, who loves his father, despite everything. For Arthur's sake, if no one else's, Merlin will go out of his way to save Uther. Sure! That tracks!
Merlin spends a lot of time in this show protecting a terrible status quo under some assumption that Camelot will... somehow suddenly become better under Arthur? Instead of perhaps eventually just trusting Arthur and talking to him after their years of knowing each other? There are several, in-world reasons for this and I don't think they're all unrealistic! It's tense! It's thrilling sometimes!
(Though I am ultimately a little annoyed that Merlin's many secrets never really come out and get dealt with by the characters, because that would have been fun drama and some resolution to all the tension, even if the story did still end in death.)
There's some tasty tragedy in this silly show, in many ways. Merlin is confused and conflicted and scared and without clear guidance in many ways. Kilgharrah is mysterious and not at all reassuring. Gaius is complacent and (very reasonably) incredibly secretive. Merlin doesn't get to see many of the moments where Arthur speaks up for magical people and tries to talk Uther down. Morgana and Arthur are both stuck here in a "The hands that cradled you are covered in an unimaginable amount of blood." "But they cradled me, yes?" nightmare scenario. (There's also a sexist element where male characters like Gaius and Merlin won't let Morgana know about her own powers "for her own good" in a gaslight-y way that's fascinating to me in how it creates a villain.)
But, also, the compelling tragic elements here don't make certain episodes any less frustrating to watch in their execution. (I don't think villains being frustrating to watch or read necessarily makes them effective villains, especially when what I really find annoying here is the heroes' reactions to the villain. Uther has killed SO MANY PEOPLE! FOR NO REASON!) Especially when a lot of the overall results of this show often feel more accidental than purposeful. I do understand why the writers keep Uther around! He's a formidable antagonist to have looming all over the place and the actor is fun.
But OOF, I felt that "Do... Nothing".
Merlin! MERLIN! LISTEN TO THE SCARY DRAGON! MERLIN, REMEMBER THAT TIME UTHER TRIED TO BURN GWEN ALIVE??? JUST BECAUSE GWEN IS TOO NICE TO GO AFTER UTHER WITH A KNIFE AND TAKE REVENGE, IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY MEAN KILLING HIM MAKES YOU "JUST AS BAD"!!! MERLIN!!! YOU HAVE ALREADY MURDERED MULTIPLE PEOPLE WHO KILLED WAY LESS PEOPLE THAN UTHER!!!
In Episode 4, Morgana says to Uther: "You can't chain [Arthur] up every time he disagrees with you." This implies to me that Uther has had Arthur thrown in the dungeons before. In Episode 3, Arthur says to Morgana: "Father will slam us both in chains if he knew I'd endangered you," and maybe he wasn't at all joking with that? Arthur is rattling the bars of his cell here, apparently fairly ready to be aimed wherever Merlin points him, bucking against being aimed at innocents by his tyrant of a father.
But nooo, Gaius says Arthur is "not ready yet" because...??? He seems less hotheaded than Uther to me, honestly. Are his tax policies not up to par yet? You can hire a guy for that. Suggesting that Arthur would be in any way worse than His Majesty "Anyone Who Talks To A Sorcerer Gets Executed Even If They Didn't Know They Were A Sorcerer" feels quite mean to Arthur, really. I think he'd do alright, in comparison, Gaius who lies to the King every single day, but I suppose you sometimes want to be a loyal friend to good ol' King "Made Merlin Drink Poison That One Time And Wouldn't Let Anyone Go Get The Cure". Good for you. Bad for everyone else.
Like, I know, I know this show is not very deep. I like that all of the characters are flawed and fumble a lot! I even kind of enjoy that it ultimately ends in death with so many loose emotional threads. It is a weekly burst of fantasy nonsense that is not especially concerned with consistency in worldbuilding or characters from episode to episode. But the executive discrepancies here are, like the ones in "Star Wars", weirdly fascinating with all of the holes and wobbly bits it creates.
This show: "Yes, our hero has once again saved the tyrannical king who kills innocents! Preventing the oblivious prince from assuming the throne and trying to do better as he so clearly wants to do! Good work, Merlin, taking the high road (which involved murdering the rightfully angry people trying to kill the tyrannical king) again!"
Me, every time: "...I am genuinely not sure how the show wants us to interpret this. What did they think they were doing with this? Was this always meant to be a tragedy from the first season? Because personally, I'm getting some kind of tragedy from this."
#tossawary merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#long post#tossawary watching#spoilers#character death
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Hello! Are your headcannon requests still open? Okay, so I was thinking about that Disney princess post you made and I was wondering if you could maybe write headcannons about the boxers going to Disney World for a week. :3
Thnx in advance šāØļø
OHOHOOHO I LOVE THIS ONE
(Let's see if I remember anything from my Disney trip in 2019 AUGHHH)
LITTLE MAC
The first thing he and Doc bought were obviously Mickey ears (Doc got ones that look like chocolate)
Doc gave Little Mac money to spend but it all got spent in one gift shop.
He did go to every park. (His favorite is Magic Kingdom)
Got to meet all the characters and get their autographs
GLASS JOE
Got a bit of social anxiety by the sheer amount of people in the parks
Was too broke and couldn't afford much
Absolutely LOVES the sweets they got
Threw up after riding Space mountain with the big boys.
Got a snowglobe (he loves collecting snowglobes)
VON KAISER
Actually brought his students with them. They basically fucked around with Aran Ryan.
Surprisingly, his favorite park is Epcot. (Almost thought it was the world's biggest golf ball š)
Makes sure everyone sticks in a group (it didn't last not even for 10 seconds)
Loves the Snow White coaster and would ride it over and over if the lines weren't so long.
DISCO KID
Blasted a whole Disney playlist the whole way there
Nearly passed away on some rides (*cough* tower of terror *cough*) and definitely passed out on a majority of the rides.
Attracted a crowd in Hollywood Studios from break dancing
Was SO HAPPY to meet Stitch (He was one of his favorites)
Would NOT stop singing the songs on repeat (Sandman wanted to BEAT his ass)
Got so many souvenirs he had to get another bag.
KING HIPPO
Has absolutely no idea where he's going or what this place is.
Fell in love with Animal Kingdom (some places in the park reminded him of home)
He actually got to see Kevin and he was so happy the whole trip. (He even got a Kevin plushie for himself)
Hogged everyones dole whip on the hottest day of the trip
Had a fucking BLAST at the water parks (don't know the names bc I never went there š)
PISTON HONDO
Didn't really mind the trip (He's been to Disney World Japan god knows how many times)
Attempted to take some of the food back home, only for it all to get eaten by Hippo
Was "Harassed" by storm troopers in Hollywood Studios
Kept comparing everything in Disney World to the one in Japan like bitch stfu and enjoy the trip.
Was mostly chill and did join some shenanigans.
BEAR HUGGER
Loves both Animal and Magic Kingdom
Fucking cried when he met Mickey (bro sobbed for hours)
Actually snuck his squirrel into the parks
Got Mickey ears for both him and his animal friends (Some were too big bless)
Oversleeps back at the hotel and sometimes misses the trams to the parks
Got a shit ton of stuffed animals
GREAT TIGER
Didn't need the trams to get to the park dude just fucking teleports there
He let's his clones fuck around but NOT with Aran Ryan or Von Kaisers students
Like Hondo, he was chill
Got to meet princess Jasmine and got her autograph.
Got a few collectibles (mostly jewelry)
Recorded a rap song about his trip a week later
DON FLAMENCO
OBVIOUSLY brought Carmen with him
He and Carmen wore matching Mickey ears
When he rode tower of terror, he let out the most girly horror scream in existence and was constantly bullied for it
Loved all the sweets they had but almost overindulged with an upset stomach.
He took Carmen to see all the Disney princesses
Became a princess at one point bc of Carmen (girly pop got him a dress, tiara, everything)
ARAN RYAN
Dude was a fucking menace
Took Von Kaisers students wherever they wanted to go (don't trust him babysitting he's gonna let me do fuck around and find out)
Almost got arrested....twice
Had beef with Merida and would shortly befriend the actress behind Merida. (He thought she was cool)
Shoplifted a bunch of shit and somehow got away with it
SODA POPINSKI
Fucking chugged down every drink the park had to offer
His favorite ride is Expedition Everest
Was unfortunately too tall for most of the rides
He didn't do much besides buy some souvenirs and meet characters (Cried when he met Olaf lmao)
BALD BULL
It was a nice trip for him but not with all the people pissing him off
Chilled in the pools at the hotels most of the time.
Was the spy in that one interactive Star Wars ride and made the most flabbergasted face known to man
Enjoyed the food there but almost caused a food fight.
SUPER MACHO MAN
Posed with the characters while getting his picture
Wanted to be in the shows they play but couldn't
Was another victim to the storm troopers but played along horrifyingly good (get bro an Oscar)
"I'm on a diettt" is later caught eating sweet shit
Absolutely LOVES Hollywood studios
The rest of the gang are the whole fucking reason why he's in debt
MR. SANDMAN
Didn't want to come but was forced to
Actually SMILED?! when he met Mickey and Minnie (he was picked on unfortunately)
Loves the star wars areas
Didn't buy much. All he got was a t shirt and a keychain
This is all I got for now (I tried, might edit it soon š) but let me know what y'all think!
Bonus HC: They did the most DIABOLICAL photo shoots on Splash Mountain (this takes place in 2009 SHHHH) for example:
(Anyways that's all!)
#punch out#little mac#glass joe#von kaiser#disco kid#king hippo#piston hondo#bear hugger#great tiger#don flamenco#aran ryan#soda popinski#bald bull#super macho man#mr. sandman#Disney trip
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I hope you don't mind me sending this ask, feel free to ignore it, but I am trying and failing to understand your point about (trans-)misandry.
In my understanding, "misogyny" is a name given to a collection of negative attitudes and prejudices towards women (and femininity). It plays a role in the structural oppression of women, but it is not synonymous with it. Accordingly, "misandry" just denotes a collection of negative attitudes and prejudices towards men. Misandry does not play a role in structural oppression, because men are not structurally oppressed as men, but claiming that negative attitudes and prejudices towards men do not exist just seems silly to me. Just because misandrists are not a huge societal force does not mean they don't exist.
I think it is quite useful for thinking clearly about the matter to keep the words for attitudes and prejudices separate from the words for power structures: Even if tomorrow, every man on earth stopped being misogynistic, women would still be structurally oppressed, because the laws and social structures and unequal distribution of resources would continue to exist. Likewise, if we ever do get rid of the structural oppression of women, some men will probably continue to be misogynistic.
"Transmisogyny" as I understand it also started out as a word for specific negative attitudes and prejudices towards trans women (and in the original conception also towards feminine boys and men and drag queens and transvestites afaik), so using "transmisandry" (or "transandrophobia", already a concession) to mean certain attitudes and prejudices seems uncontroversial to me. The attitudes and prejudices on display in "Irreversible Damage" do seem to me to be rather distinct from the attitudes and prejudices targeting trans women, so it is useful to have a word for them, no? I find it quite fascinating how typical misogynist attitudes are in a way split up on the issue of trans people: The infantilisation is reserved for trans men and the demonisation for trans women, while in traditional misogyny these two go hand in hand. Why are you against using the words "transmisogyny" and "transandrophobia" to talk about this phenomenon?
hey, I appreciate you reaching open a discussion about this. also apologies for the delay, today was a little busy lol. typing on my phone rn so bullet points:
I am obviously not the Keeper Of Language (as much as I would love to be), but in my opinion one reason "misandry" is not a useful word is because of the implied false symmetry to "misogyny". you correctly recognize that one is underpinned by structural opinion and the other is not... but many people do not, lol. and a personal/professional axe that I've been grinding for a while is about reducing ambiguity in the way we talk about stuff, like generally speaking, so I'm of the opinion that "this word means different things to different people and causes a lot of confusion" is a solid reason to avoid using it when possible.
similarly, I think the fact that misogyny is a structural oppression and a major societal force is what makes having a specific word for it so useful. there are a lot of types of non-structural prejudice that basically boil down to Sometimes People Are Sometimes Mean To You, but we don't have a particular word that means "the thing where people are mean to redheads" or "the thing where people are mean to theater kids." maybe that'll change, but as it currently stands I just don't think having a single word for these things is useful or necessary, hence why there isn't one.
to your hypothetical about "if structural misogyny 100% ceased to exist but sometimes individual men were still mean to individual women," maybe not everyone would agree with me on this, but I kinda think that "misogyny" would no longer be the right word for the situation. like if someone with an innie belly button was mean to a person with an outie belly button, we'd just call that "being an asshole," ya know.
also part of me is curious about the origin of the word "misandry" now and like, whether the first people to use it were the bona fide men's rights motherfuckers who think men are structurally oppressed. totally speculating though. further research required
(I was gonna say another thing about how a lot of negative prejudices and attitudes around men have roots in cissexism and to some extent misogyny, like the idea that men shouldn't do X because only women do X and if you're a man who does X that means you're basically a woman, which is bad, because women are bad. or just plain old biological essentialism. but I don't know if I'm articulating this well so take it with a grain of salt.)
re. "irreversible damage" and similar panic about "oh no our precious innocent daughters are turning into men," I would argue there's a couple reasons that "misandry" isn't the word for what's happening here. one is that these transphobic parents don't categorically hate men or think badly of men; they love and accept their cis sons. the other is that I'm reasonably confident that parents who are transphobic about their transmasc kids would not be ANY less hateful about "son" who came out as transfem. which is all to say, their problem isn't just about having a transmasc kid. their problem is about having a trans kid, period.
and that also ties into the "infantilizing vs demonization" thing, which a lot of people have pointed out basically comes down to... transmisogyny. there's an element of both cissexism and misogyny in the way transmasc people are cast as victims (because they're "really just girls," and girls are weak and easily influenced), AND an element of both cissexism and misogyny in the way transfem people are cast as predators! because what's happening here puts transfem people in a sort of limbo where they're not recognized as women, but not exactly recognized as men either: the accusation is that by virtue of their birth assignment, they can't truly be women (cissexism), but also that by eschewing maleness and seeking femininity they've become something "other," a failed man, who will always be marked by an unacceptable affinity for womanhood (misogyny).
the "predator" part of that is informed by a number of factors, including the way that people assume Being A Girl On Purpose must be a sex pervert thing because they think womanhood is inherently about sex and sexual availability (misogyny!), but I don't know if I can articulate it very well and I don't have any good quotes handy. if someone reading can explain it better or has a quote to throw in, please do!
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Recently fully contenting with the fact that I have a big brother kink,,
I blame being stuck as the oldest child but with horrible anxiety, autism, and emotional neglect making the idea of being any kind of role model without one for myself Terrifying, combined with being transmasc and having that pretty much dismissed or at the very least constantly undermined literally all throughout my teenage years š
I was also just an obsessively horny kid for no discernable reason dhzjhx maybe it was the only clear form of affection from guys I was at all familiar with being romantic/sexually coded and not really knowing how someone was meant to bond with them otherwise idk. Add that to me literally making an imaginary friend that was just a caring older brother at first and you can imagine the progression of that had a hand in this alsoš§
I'm just. I think enough Tough Love type kinda loser older brother that's also just super overprotective and will back you/help you through anything while simultaneously insisting you should "man up" fantasies could fix me--
Older brother that on the one hand has a rebellious dgaf overall bad influence reputation to uphold but on the other hand had to deal with the same parents I did and can't help but be protective of his cute little brother seeing him going through the same or similarly shitty situations, doing his best to mitigate the damage when he realizes how much more sensitive I am to it than he was.
Being the only person in the house I'm comfortable going to for anything, always making me feel safe even when trying to get me to push a boundary for my own good (whether it's Actually for my own good or not-). Insisting any and all unhealthy coping mechanisms I've turned to (or he's introduced me to) are done in his presence only, he's just concerned about my safety and doesn't want me doing them alone (again whether true or not I'm too trusting or dependant to notice a difference). Basically singlehandedly supporting my transition, making sure I get any and all hand-me-downs he still has lying around (and there are plenty, his closet is like a museum of old shit at this point, like he's never gotten rid of a thing in his life even though he definitely has. There are still character-print boxers in there that are pretty much my size), going over our parents' heads to talk with my school about it (having to "correct" all that would be too much effort for them anyways, they'll just leave it be at that point) and interacting with our parents in general for me unless it's absolutely necessary for me to be there.
Finding any excuse to brag and show off his adorable little brother to his equally delinquent friends, letting me join in on smoke sessions since he knows I can't go 10 minutes without following him around like a little puppy, always wanting to be in his lap (he tries to act like it's annoying but he thinks it's cute, not to mention convenient), and hey, with how high-strung i am already he decides maybe the weed would do me good anyways. Keeping the less respectful of his friends on a short leash around me, not hesitating to kick anyone out that can't heed a warning (full-stop, better not forget anything on your way out because you ain't gonna get another chance to get it back-). Getting quietly jealous over any of the others I end up getting sort of attached to, but rather than starting actual shit with them he'll just find ways to remind me that he's the most important to me, even if his friend is cool he's always cooler, right?
Idk this general underlying setup is a theme in a lot of my fantasies tbh, there's a lot that can vary between them (sometimes either brother is grosser or more genuine, really just depends on my mood lol) but the dynamic is always some flavor of this and it probably says a lot š
#ftm nsft#fauxcest#brocon#brocest#big bro/little bro#big bro x lil bro#he's got daddy issues. he's got mommy issues. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE--#i might actually post more in this vein at some point but currently Im already at the point of word vomiting just to get the thoughts out so#that's for another time#intox cnc#weed intox#intox kink#tw sh implied#posting now before i can change my mind--
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In my heart I still know that Gretchen with all her true crime weird girl energy, Zach with his filmmaking skills and Claire with her literal ability to get cut open and have limbs torn off without being harmed are out there being gay and making low budget slasher movies together in the woods. I know this to be true it was revealed to me in a vision
#Claireās gay squad I miss you#Gretchen and Zach did get to meet and they were all besties can you hear meeee#heroes ramblings#heroes#claire bennet#gretchen berg#zach nolastname heroes my beloved#I still think about them sometimes I love them. my kids
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some design comcepts for older lily + lewis!!! my latest and greatest headcanon for them is that in the future they get gems and can do magic of their own :33 i just think itād be neat,,, something to do with their love of magic!!!! š„ŗ
#im normal about stdwolom. number one fan have been since i was 15#i need them EXPLODED AND GONE THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME BYE#anyways these designs are still. rather up in the air#definitely need some more refining and all that#but yknow!!! for now theyre pretty good kickoff points š„ŗ#lewisās fit is loosely based off a wizard fit i gave him in a halloween piece from 2022 hehehe!!#I THINK THEY SHOULD GET MAGIC. I THINK THEY SHOULD AS A TREAT#billie helps them learn ofc!!! AND SO DOES STOTLE. THEM AND THEIR THREE WEIRD KIDS OR WHATEVER#i love them so bad. stdwolomā¦.ā¹ļøā¹ļøā¹ļø#dont overthink the gem colours or anything btw. i think theyre justā¦ general ones? question mark?#IDK MAYBE ILL PUT MORE THOUGHT INTO THE SPECIFICS LATER#BUT FOR NOW THEYRE JUST. GENERAL ONES WITH NO SPECIFIC POWERS IN PARTICULAR LMAO#robinās art#billie bust up#2024 art#bbu billie#bbu lewis#bbu lily#stdwolom#this all started bc i looked at stdwolom and went āi think they should be she/her they/them cool hat coded. lewis should get a cool hatā#then i brain blasted.#whats more cool hat than a wizard and whats more wizard than ACTUAL MAGIC#i like to think im smart sometimes#okay hi update these guys are part of myā¦ oc lore? now so uhhh guess theyre getting the story tag#The Panderity Chapter
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I want you to tell āem that you love the way that they donāt stick out like sore middle fingers
[Continuation of this]
#TMNT 2012#casey jones 2012#raphael hamato#rasey#this is platonic again but Iām not against romantic subtext or whatever#when I was in school being able to do this with your hand was super cool and I often still do it with both#but Iāve met both adults and kids whoāve never seen it before and it freaks them out ahaha#anyway I was jus thinking of hands again and this is a warm up sketch#but i do think thee two would have heart to hearts on rooftops sometimes and really open up#maybe theyre sat next to eachother and raph looks at his thigh next to Caseyās and gets self conscious#maybe one of them was hurt in a fight (probably Casey) and theyre patching eachother up and they just start exploring their differences#or maybe its something as simple as raph asking casey if he was Tarzan and the scene with the hands and Caseyās like yo we can do that#or even more childish theyre just doing it to see whoās hands bigger because Caseyās sister has been doing it a lot and its fun#because let me tell you it doesnt matter how old the kids i work with are they all love comparing my hand with theirs#but i imagine Raphs eyes for a second would give away hes upset a little cause heās definitely the most self conscience about being a mutant#so Casey would do this and be like ahh look see we arent that different really#raph could bend his fingers to emphasise how much shorter Caseyās are#and cause would say something like these digits might be small but theyre mighty#leading to a shove or even a thumb war or something#anyway ill stop gushing i have a comission to do xxx#OH OH OH THE BITE MARK ON CASEY IS BECAUSE A MUTUAL COMMENTS ABOUT EATING MY RASEY ART SO THATS THEIR TEETH but im not naming names....
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Grips my shirt and tears it apart so that all the buttons go flying and SCREAMS I love Law and Cora so much what the FUCK!!!!
#Shima speaks#SLAMS MY HEAD INTO THE WALL. BREAKING THE PLASTER. LEAVING A HOLE#AGHHH. AGHHFHF HELP#Cora who saw a kid so angry and bitter at the world decided to throw away everything to save him despite the whole WORLD saying he couldnāt#Law who finally realized thereās still hope left in the world and hope left for him and thereās someone willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING#Just to save him. Just to give him a fighting chance. Just to let him be FREE#Law who came to realize how much Cora meant to him and how much love and care Cora had for him. Then losing all that in an INSTANT#The one person he cared about more than anything sacrificed his LIFE for him#And Law spent the next 13 YEARS working to avenge Coraā¦naming his pirate crew getting tattoos fashioning his Jolly Roger ALL after Cora#TATTOOS!!! HE GOT PERMANENT MARKINGS ON HIS BODY SYMBOLIZING CORA#IāM. GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE AND BLOW UP. WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK#Oda writing the most epic revenge quest in history#They mean so much to me Iām GOING to die. Right here and now#Cora giving up everything for Law and Law giving up everything for Coraā¦THATāS TRUE LOVE BABEY#No matter what kind of form it comes in thatās TRUE. LOVE. PERIODT#One Piece#Do you think Law still would have gotten tattoos symbolizing Cora if Cora had lived. I wonder about that sometimes.#I feel like he would. I feel like heād wear them proudly and Cora would be SO embarrassed about it#Lawās not shy about shit like that heād be super smug about it too#Law: You saved me and gave my life meaning why WOULDNāT I want to permanently mark my body to honor that#Cora: Because itās embarrassing! Lawwww!!! š#Law: Too bad doing it anyway <3#Cora: You know what. Fine. But Iām getting a tattoo that symbolizes YOU#Law: PLEASE???#Cora: WH. WAIT THAT BACKFIRED THAT IS NOT HOW YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO REACT#Cora you NEED to match his freak okay.#I heavily hc Law to be absolutely unhinged over the people he cares about#Like scarily possessive AND obsessive kind of unhinged#He and Cora can have an unhealthy codependent relationship. As a treat <3#Okay shutting up now SORRY Iām just. Unwell. Sighs dramatically
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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He really doesn't like to be yelled at
#I just love to make them have a more caring dynamic when Gumball is tiny like that ueueuegueue#Fionna has no idea how to take care of kids and suddenly her best friend is a kid and her brain is going blue screen#But she's still there for her friend and gives him piggybacks and and and#sometimes I think about ārewritingā the Too Young ep except it's just my AU and Gumball is glued to Fionna like a Koala#but that requires lots of energy and patience that I don't have yet so uhhh#I love them šš¤²#fionna and cake#adventure time fionna and cake#fionna and cake fanart#adventure time fionna#fionna campbell#fionna the human#prince gumball#adventure time prince gumball#adventure time fanart
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I'm at the painful "confession" scene during the kage summit arc. It really is so emotional, but also... hm.
When I was younger, like 13 or so, I was a big Sakura and Naruto shipper. They were the first pairing I read fanfic for even. And in a way, I do still enjoy the two of them together... but it's moments like these that really drive home the fact that it Doesn't really work in canon. Not the way that it's set up.
As Sakura puts it, "Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke! That's all you think about!"
She's told that Naruto has feelings for her and decides to use it to convince him to stop going after Sasuke. She does love him, but not in the way she's trying to confess. The love they share is one of comradery, not necessarily romantic. The love of two people who have gone through such pain together, and who have leaned on each other throughout it all. And the fact that she's turning around and saying she loves him "simply like everyone else", now... it's trivializing. And the fact that she's trying to convince him of this, the fact that she thinks she Can convince him of this, is pretty hurtful. They've come a long way from when they were kids, Naruto the goofball vying for her attention while she yelled at him for being stupid. Sakura respects Naruto so much more than before, and Naruto respects her too. So the fact that she's still doing this... She's desperate, really. She thinks the promise he made to her to bring Sasuke home is what's driving him to let himself be hurt over and over and over again in the pursuit and protection of Sasuke.
But she's wrong.
That may be part of it, but it's only part. Naruto wants Sasuke back for himself, too. He let himself be beat up to avoid selling him out. He chases after him with single minded determination. Sasuke is his entire drive to get stronger, to catch up, to bring him home. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke indeed.
As it is, Naruto knows she's lying to herself. And no matter what she says, he will keep going after Sasuke. Because that's just the person that Naruto is.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#i think. naruto and sakura could potentially work out... but probably in a poly kind of situation.#because naruto will never forget about sasuke. and tbh neither will sakura. at least in canon.#of course i think sakura would do well to end up with someone more level headed. like ino.#someone without all the Complications that those two have...#but at the same time. i still do really love the idea of two people supporting one another through thick and thin.#i like naruto and sakura as a pairing of mutual respect. which is why it doesnt truly work as it is in canon.#especially when it comes to things like the 'joke' punches. but that's Everywhere in this anime.#female characters' anger being turned into jokes. theyre 'scary' but its not Actually scary.#naruto taking punch after punch from her for being foolish. yet it's all just a joke.#tbh id want to do away with that trope entirely. sakura has a temper but she's a good person. a kind soul.#i dont like that kishimoto has her being casually abusive with one of her best friends.#yet another part of the misogynistic writing that i hate.#sure enough. as it is in canon it just doesnt work. but ykno what. 13 year old me is still here. and wants to think of a way that it Could.#all things to think about. i wonder if there is any poly fic with the 3 of them. theres Gotta be.#though that brings the question of whether it'd even fit my ideal concept of the 3 of them.#it's certainly not the popular kind of thing lol. most people pick one of the three pairings between them.#but ya kno what. ive always been a multishipper. and poly ships really enable that truth of mine.#maybe i'll look for some poly fic sometime. just to see if theres anyone doing it like id wanna see.#if it's just two guys fighting over one girl or something tho im Outta there.#and ALSO theres something to be said for sasuke and sakura's relationship when they were kids.#there was trust there. confiding. he respected her. & in the end. he thanked her for her care.#cant be Just the two of them tho. for me. bc that erases naruto's significance to them both.#it is perhaps another thing i'll want to write someday. just maybe.
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Well, I actually have the most mundane of questions, but itās been so long since Iāve been in an English class that I feel like Iāve completely forgotten (and Iām curious how you do it): how do you go about reading a book as a class? Do you assign them the chapters to read at home and most of them actually do it? Or do you give them class time to read? Do you have the kids who try to spoil the rest of the book for the class? Basically, how does one teach a book in the year 2024? Ā š
And do you have your students annotate inside their books? (I know the English teachers in my school require the students to do that, and I get why, but I inwardly shudder every time I see a student marking up a page.)Ā
Haha I love this question because I too am always asking myself how DOES one each a book in 2024?
Itās sort of a combination. I absolutely assign reading every night (almost) unless itās Shakespeare or any play in which case we read it all in class. But for a novel thereās a couple chapters a night. I read aloud to them a lot too. Sometjmes I make them read aloud to the whole class, rotating kids who read. Sometimes I assign a chapter to be read in class silently with questions or quotes due at the end of the reading. Sometimes I put them in groups and make them read aloud to each other. Thereās no one way that works for sure and of course ultimately I have no control over how much they read and Iām not naive enough to think that most of the reading assigned for homework doesnāt get skipped most of the time buuuuuut.
My bottom line is that I believe itās my job to get excited about the actual text itself (easier for me in some cases than others but overall pretty easy because it does fill me with excitement) and then commit to taking them on the journey of the story with me. And my goalāthat Iām sure I often donāt reachāis to make that experience so much more fun if you have actually read. And the way that I teach is pretty text heavy which is why I always make sure Iāve read the chapters for the day and am not just relying on my memory because the way I do it is just sort of absorbing it all up like a vacuum-cleaner, schwooooop, and then either pulling stuff out of the reading to look at directly or directing them to do the same thing. So the big thing that I have going for me, if any, is buy-in. Is getting kids excited about actually reading the actual text. I also speak often and passionately about the evils of sparknotes etc. not because they help kids get better grades or whatever but because they present you with the husk and shell of a story, stripped of all that makes it interesting, and that by reading that alone theyāre reading something so dry and dull and are not achieving what I always want them to achieve āwhich is, have an Experience with the Literature.
Again, it never works perfectly by any stretch and there are so many ways I want to explore in my quest to get better at it but overall I think, at my very best, I can create this wave of energy and excitement in the story itself which is the most organic and ultimately most helpful way to get them to want to read.
Also no haha. I donāt let them annotate! Though occasionally kids DO of course. But sometimes they bring in their own copies in order to do that. The spoilers absolutely happen and are annoying but I sort of get by it by moving on very quickly and/or talking about how itās often not the ending but how you get there that makes it interesting. Because thatās just true!
#gosh does this answer make sense#I am so passionate about doing it well and there are huge gaps in my teaching in terms of concrete stuff#but I am doing ā¦.. Something in terms of bringing literature closer to them#and thatās what I want to do!#also love love love the bonus of getting to reread great works over and over until they start sinking into my brain#and I think (well I usually donāt think about it) but I think that the experience for them of watching me read it again#(and sometimes literally I wonāt have time to read I need 10 minutes to finish this chapter and tell them to shut up)#(while I sit there and read it)#reminds them that I AM committed to doing the work with them. that I am actually doing it and that I want to!#and idk I think that is both a rarer experience and one thatās kind of underrated in terms of how much warmth it can create#because I have nothing in common with 16 year olds we couldnāt be friends in real life without it being very weird/possibly inappropriate#but in class we have a Thing to be friends about#we have a shared goal! and not just an arbitrary one but a deeply beautiful one#idk. thereās still a lot of boredom a lot of pushback a lot of disinterest#but Iām always amazed at how often kids do want to ā¦. idk sink their teeth into something real#itās REAL food for their minds. and the hunger for it is there even if they decide theyāre too lazy to join the group#my goal is to āmerely by the situation itselfāmake you feel left out of the fun if you refuse to do the work#so you can CHOOSE that but itās less fun. itās cold. itās boring and itās isolating#because refusing to do the work and insisting on being a little toad SHOULD come with natural social punishments in the form of exclusion#from the best kind of fun. it often does NOT. but yeah. I think Iām also getting better at shutting down toad behavior from adolescent male#this is where teaching co-Ed helps because there are some girls who are like āif you stop my learning I will kill youā#not ENOUGH girls but some#ooooof this is a long answer but literally always on my mind#thank you for asking!!! also haha I assumed you were an English teacher yourself!
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not 2 be dramatic or anything but sometimes it makes me so sad to see siblings getting along really well and like actually being best friends
#love my sister or whatever but she was not very nice to me growing up and now we're just like kinda friendly but still so different#some eldest daughters do not fit the tumblr stereotype btw some of them r just mean<3#also while im at it im so tired of being the only gay person in like my whole extended family and even our family friends#like the other week we met up w my dad's college friend who lives further away so it had been like years since I'd seen them#and he has 2 daughters one of whom is gay and we were all chatting for all of lunch at like the 'kids side' of the table#and it genuinely made me emotional afterwards thinking about all the gatherings with our other family friend when the kids are all mostly#guys and/or straight.#like! im not that bad a socializing! these are just not my people!! its so lonely sometimes:/#whatever!! love my family and friends etc but i am ruminating currently
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I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.
#ive got fat genetics from both parents families going back generations and ive been trying to lose weight forever#my stupod body likes being fat i can excercise like crazy and eat barely anything and i wont lose anything#i was excercising 2+ hours a day before i got sick and it made me stronger but i.stayed fat. now that im sick im weak and still fat.#and im not the kind of fat anybody can find pretty. if i could somehow not be fat id be decent to look at my face isnt bad#my skin is bad though my skin sucks#in my eyes im disgusting#and its so messed up because i dont think other fat people are gross#but i hate how i look so much that i cant imagine anyone being okay with it#like no matter how kind and understanding and sweet i am to people its never gonna make up for the fact that my body is grossly ugly#and i cant blame anyone for not liking me i get it.#sorry#this is a problem i have#bacause i just usually pretend my body doesnt exist and i wear pretty loose fitting dresses that cover me completely so but#even though i am what i am#sometimes you happen to meet a nice person and they are polite and dont seem disgusted by your existance so then your traitorous brain t#thinks hey maybe this person would be willing to marry us someday if they got to know us. which is so silly becuz theres no way thatd ever#so it makes me sad when i should be happy that a nice person talked to me. yay good job successful friendlyness. but it has to remind me#that i had this expectation from when i was a kid that id marry somone and have at least 3 kids and love my kids and take care of them and#give them everything i needed when i was a kid. and of course that never happened. because i never dated anyone. because people dont just#magically get married out of nowhere. its stupid. so i keep trying to be okay with whatever. but i guess i never stopped wanting a family.#which we know im aroace now so. i need to stop. but my brain is always bothering me about this.#why can't i just accept that no one will ever love me. why cant i be happy that they dont?#ive got cats#someday i will have irl friends again#sorry i think everything would be so much easier if i was just#this isnt a problem with an easy solutiom#i guess im gonna try to do the useless excercises again because at least it will look like im trying even though nothing will change
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