#I still got to see my friends a few times last week

[celerydays]

long time no see…

Hey, hi, hello~

I don't know if anyone is still around this little blog o' mine or if I'm just showing up suddenly on the dash and whoever is seeing this might not recall ever even following me lol.

But – if you remember me or not – I'm just dropping by to say that I've missed you and that I truly hope you're doing well 🫂💗

I...have not been doing so well. But I've been working on it.

In a way, it's been healing to reshape my approach to things like journaling and capturing photos. I've been taking the time to develop a practice in documenting daily life – the people I care about, the places we visit, and all the random little moments in between – with more intentionality and care than I have in the recent past.

(tw: grief and loss/death under cut)

We lost my mother very suddenly last November – and things have been unbearably hard the last few months.

In a lot of ways, 2024 was one of the best years: my partner and I traveled to Japan for the first time ever, my family had a small reunion in our hometown to watch the total solar eclipse together, my best friends got married, and we went on so many amazing trips and had the type of outings that made me so inspired, optimistic, and excited about life and the future.

But in so many other ways, it was also one of the worst years I've had in a long time: starting with a hard-learned (but perhaps overdue) firsthand lesson and reminder on how scary and mean the internet can be, followed by losing both my grandfather in the spring and then my mother just before the winter holidays.

I'm not particularly good when it comes to emotions– forget about even processing grief or putting into any sort of meaningful words how it all feels. But I guess all of this has made me shift my mindset when it comes to wanting to just...remember. To not forget.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

On documenting life through journaling...

I had always journaled in some way or another all my life, but I only really started considering it a serious practice and hobby sometime around 2020. But I had lost my way with it in recent years, treating it solely as some kind of aesthetic-only venture, and only dedicating the time if I knew that I could make it "pretty" and "palatable for sharing".

And so, many entries were missed; days and weeks lost to fuzzy recollection, months bled into each other, and little moments only existed as vague and passing snapshots on my phone gallery (if I even remembered to take a photo).

But I now wish I had just written it down; whatever it was – big, small, angry, funny, sad, happy – just wrote it all down. It didn't have to be an aesthetically collaged spread or artful doodle or drawing. I wish I had documented some of the last times I had seen or spoken with my mother; what she had said, did, or how she reacted to silly news or quips I told her. I barely remember anything even just from the last year.

So now I write it all down, day after day: I'll write what's on my mind, what we did before, what I'm doing currently, what I'm planning to do. If someone calls or my partner walks in to my studio while I'm working and tells me something that has me reacting in the moment I'll jot down a little "omg!!" or "lol" or "holy shit" next to whatever they said or did.

If I get little scraps from the day – receipts, tags, tickets, wrappers – I'll paste it in wherever it happens to fit in my journal, with a little note of the date or what the outing was. And every so often, I'll print out photos to paste in with notes relating back to past entries or junk journal spreads.

Is always pretty? No, but it's pretty in its chaos. Is it always even chronological? Not at all. Does it always make sense? Not really. But I love every page so, so much more than anything I had carefully curated before in my previous journals.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

On documenting life through photos...

I had once carried a camera with me everywhere before phone cameras became decent enough that I didn't feel the need to have a dedicated tool for just taking pictures anymore.

It wasn't until we were all looking through our collective family photos to use for my mother's memorial service and headstone that it hit me that I just don't take as many pictures as I used to– and when I did, they just don't compare to the ones that I used to take years ago when I did carry a camera with me on every outing and trip.

We ended up choosing a photo of her that I had taken on my once-beloved dSLR camera I used to haul around with me almost 10 years ago; she was smiling, strong, radiant, beautiful– and it was just a random moment I took my camera out in a Taiwan salon while she was waiting as my sister and I were both getting our hair done for our cousin's wedding.

A bit indescribable – and not even something I realized was missing – but there's something about having an actual camera on hand that pushes me to take more photos, and somehow better and more mindful photos at that.

And so I made the decision to invest in a new camera. An absolute necessity to take photos? No, of course not; I do still have my phone camera after all. But they say (apparently) that "the best camera is the one that you actually use"– and I was most definitely not using my phone as much as I could have been.

This new camera though? Only time will truly tell, but the past has shown that I've worked better with a dedicated camera on hand and already I can't begin to explain the difference it's made in the last week alone since I picked up the habit of carrying a camera around with me again.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

This was a crazy long post that sort of got away from me. Not sure where I want to go from here – I guess I just want to say that if you ever felt called to document your life in some way, it's never too late to start; you'll only wish that you had begun sooner.

If you're still here– I love you. I hope you're taking care of yourself.

And thank you for reading along with my incredibly longwinded life update of what was essentially just "I'm grieving so I started journaling more and also bought a camera" lol.

💗

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

june 3, 2022 2:00 p.m. newcrest counseling

"i'm really happy to hear you think you worried too much, but what makes you say that? did you feel differently than you expected?"

"i did, actually. as i've figured out over the last week, doing the work to become a healthier person means i know how to better manage negative emotions. i often still default to seeing myself as the person who just falls apart as soon as i feel any emotion less pleasant than neutral. at first, when i was on the plane and then in my hotel room alone, i was battling negative thoughts, but i turned it around pretty quickly. to be honest, that was weird. i'm so used to having to completely lose it before i can recover. recovering at the first very tiny peak in severity is almost a miracle.

finding the good things, however small, to focus on last weekend was what helped me revert my mood and stop feeling icky before icky became horrendous. the negative thoughts on my mind, i redirected to the best of my ability. like, for example, okay, if i never fly an airplane again before i die, i'll just be thrilled i could do it for a few years. a few wonderful years is better than zero years. little kid grant never thought he'd survive past 18, let alone follow his dreams. if time travel were possible and i could go back and tell grant kid he flew an airplane one day, he'd never fucking believe it. so, i already won. nothing can take that away.

on that note, i'm historically not the best at being open to good things or experiences. i'm at least prone closing myself off to relishing them once they're over. i spent so long being lashed by the world with no end in sight that i don't trust goodness, you know? i expect people to get fed up with me or to hurt me. i expect the universe to screw me over. i also believe i don't deserve goodness, and i've thrown away good things myself for that reason alone. i think i'll struggle with those specific thoughts for a very long time, but i do know that i am learning move past them. i'm learning to believe i deserve better and to appreciate things more and to extract what i can from my experiences.

i realized i was moving past those thoughts for the first time after dealing with my ex and then cutting off my dad for the second time, but especially after my dad, and now i'm confirming the changes. i felt like hot garbage for weeks after that final conversation with him because i just did. reminding myself of how truly horrible he was as a father hurt, but after a while, i was glad i told him the truth, and suddenly, i had much more appreciation for the male figures in my life who were or are kind to me. a burden was legitimately lifted off my shoulders, and old me would have never managed to find anything positive in that situation, so the fact that current me did says a lot. if i can find something positive there, i can find something positive anywhere.

but hey, i'm not even getting to the most fulfilling part of why i felt differently than i expected. the wedding was genuinely great, and i ended up wasting no substantial amount of time absorbed in my own feelings, so i got to be present with my friends. even when i was pretending my trauma didn't exist years ago, i spent so much time stuck in my own head or my own body, always filtering every personal conversation through that lens, and you don't get how much energy and attention that soaks up until you can be fully present with people. of course, it helps that i knew all these people and knew i could relax and trust them, but still. it felt good to be able to devote my entire attention to celebrating them and their lives and not have split it between them and my own exhausting thoughts."

[ipushhimback]

the heart eyes?

pairing: oscar piastri x reader words: 1.3 k warnings: none summary: you are in love with your best friend but he doesn’t know it (right?)

When your parents had told you that you would move to another city you had been devastated. You had been only six years old but still, you didn’t want to leave your friends behind.

But then you met Oscar. Your new neighbor. At first you only played with his sisters but then you started hanging out with him and since then you had been best friends. He was there when you didn’t feel well. When you were sad because you weren’t as good as he was in school he would come over to your house and give you a cup of hot chocolate.

When you were 14 you developed feelings for Oscar. No. Not really feelings. Yet. It was a crush. Something you just feel when you become older. But over time, this crush had become more. You really were in love with him now. 

You knew Oscar didn’t feel the same about you. He had a girlfriend. Yes, he did break up with her after only a few months but he wouldn’t have had a girlfriend if he was in love with you, right?

Today you were at the Australian Grand Prix. You haven’t been to one in the last year as you simply didn’t have the time to visit one. And also you didn’t really want to see Oscar. You just wanted to forget him. Move on with your life. Get over those feelings for your best friend. But surprise! It didn’t work.

So now you were here. Sitting in your car in a random parking lot.

“I can do this. I will walk in that damn paddock and be normal. No need to freak out. He is your best friend”, you said to yourself.

Eventually you got out of the car. You wore a pretty orange summer dress and simple white sneakers. At the first Grand Prix you visited you wore high heels and swore you would never wear them again.

You hung the Paddock Pass around your neck and put on sunglasses. Then you grabbed your bag and walked toward the entrance.

While you walked towards it you pulled out your phone to call Oscar so you could ask him where you have to go. But before you could click on his contact you ran into someone. Lando.

“Oh my god. I am so sorry”, you apologized immediately.

“Don’t worry. Wait. Y/N? Long time no see! Oscar couldn’t stop talking about you last week! Come with me I will bring you to him”, Lando offered and you could only nod.

You have met Lando before and always got along well. He was funny and used to always be around when you wanted to hang out with Oscar at a Grand Prix. Not that you cared. He was a nice guy and you really didn’t want to be alone with your best friend when you were scared you might just kiss him at some point.

“Thank you but you really don’t have to bring me to him. I am sure you have more important things to do right now”, you said but Lando just shook his head.

“No no. I will walk you to him. And my room is directly next to his so I can just drop you off, ok?”, Lando asked.

You nodded and smiled at him.

“Thank you, Lando. Really.”

You silently walked to the driver’s rooms just occasionally looking up to check if Lando was still there to lead you to Oscar.

“So, he invited you for this GP?”, Lando eventually asked you to break the silence.

“Kind of. I haven’t been to one for a long time as I simply didn’t have the time for it”, at least that was half the truth, you thought to yourself. “So then I asked him if I could come to one just to have a day to relax, you know? And I didn’t have a long way to get here”, you said laughing.

“I guess. That’s nice that you are here to support him. Then you are officially a WAG now?”

You nearly choked on your own saliva.

“Sorry?” You said looking at Lando as if he had just told her he would quit racing.

“Well, when you are now his girlfriend you are a WAG, right?” Now it was Lando to look confused as you furiously shook your head.

“No! No no no! We are not… a couple or so. Just… friends. Not more”, you defended yourself as Lando looked a little surprised and embarrassed at the same time.

“Sorry. I just assumed since you are here now and Oscar was so happy that you finally talked to each other about your feelings. I didn’t mean to offend you or anything.”

“Feelings? There… there aren’t any feelings. We have been friends for so long. We are just… friends. Best friends”, you explained but couldn’t hide the fact that you were as red as a tomato.

“The feelings you obviously have for each other. The heart eyes? You talk about the other the whole time! Are you serious? You aren’t in love with him?” Lando was now looking completely confused.

“No. I am not”, you said, knowing you weren’t just lying to Lando but also yourself.

“Ok ok.” Before you two could say anything else you were standing in front of a wooden door with a piece of paper sticking on it. ‘Oscar Piastri’

“We are here”, Lando said the obvious.

“Yeah. Thanks for leading me. Otherwise I would have been lost.”

Lando nodded and smiled.

“Talk to him. It is not healthy to lie to yourself”, the Brit said before turning around and walking into his own room.

You took a deep breath and knocked on the door before opening it.

Oscar sat on a small couch in the room, scrolling though his phone.

Gosh, how can he look so attractive just sitting there.

“Hey, Osc”, you said as you walked into the room.

Oscar looked up and immediately smiled at you, seemingly happy to see you again after so long.

“Hey! I am so happy you made it! We haven’t seen each other in so long. I missed you”, he said as he walked toward you to give you a hug.

“I am happy to see you as well. Are you ready for the race? I am sure you’ll do great. I read you’ll start in second? That’s good, right?” You stopped yourself from rambling after a little as you realized you were nervous and a little panicking as you haven’t seen Oscar in a long time.

“I am, yes. But it will be hard to get to first. Max is directly in front of me and Charles behind. They are good so I have to stay focused the whole time and just have to drive well.” Oscar was still smiling.

“You will win, I just know it”, you said. “You’ll be first and celebrate and then we will go to that Italian restaurant we always went to with our parents.”

Oscar smiled as he looked at you. Was Lando right and Oscar really liked you? Or is Oscar just a good friend and happy that you believe in his talent?

“Thanks. That means a lot coming from you. I have to get ready now for the race. Do you want to stay?”

You smiled and nodded even though you weren’t so sure.

“Yes, of course. I will just sit here and read”, you said pulling out a book from your huge bag.

Oscar laughed that cute laugh that has always been able to make you smile even when you were sad or mad because of whatever was going on in your life.

“You really always have a book with you, don’t you?”, Oscar teased you, something he has always done as you really always carry a book with you.

You just grinned and opened the book do read. It was some silly friends to lovers romance, but you couldn’t help but see the parallels to Oscar and you.

Your best friends went to his warm up exercises and you really tried not to stare but it is hard when you see your best friend’s muscles tense like that. Eventually, some man you have seen around before stepped in the room and did the neck exercises with Oscar and you were really staring now.

Damn. How can he look so good??

a/n: sorry it took me a bit to continue this and it is still not finished but i didn’t have the time for it… there may be some mistakes bc english is not my first language and i didn’t reread it hahah!

taglist: @strawberryy-kiwii / @a-distantdreamer / @requiemforthepoets / @martygraciesversion381 / @l-vroom4 / @comicalivy / @sid-is-gr8 / @picklesbuddy93 / @sadiemack9 / @f1fantasys / @cloud-55 / @sunny44 / @widow-cevans / @gigicisneros / @mbioooo0000 / @sinfully-yoursss / @bravo-delta-eccho / @rue-t / @mayax2o07 / @alexanderachillesisgay / @maviesamour / @suhchenjun / @pippyth3hippy / @sweate-r-weathe-r / @joannaln4 / @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy / @aleatorio1234 

[cynthiav06]

Percy's amnesia in SoN gave him the perfect excuse to build his confidence to where it should be and break up with Annabeth, with very few consequences, and I will always stand by that. Annabeth may be easier for the Greeks to back due to her history there, but she has nothing at Camp Jupiter, where he quickly and firmly established himself as a powerful, capable and trustworthy entity, getting promoted to Praetor within a week. I honestly believe that, after his SON quest and the "greeting" Annabeth gave him on their reunion, Percy should've broken up with Annabeth, stayed with Camp Jupiter and thrived there.

Not only would the structure help him long-term in the way it canonically did in the (maybe) three days we saw him spend there, but he has a proper support system without biases in favour of Annabeth. It would also provide a fun narrative contrast to Jason, which RR was trying to push in-story, where they thrive in the other's camp despite the shadow of a figure they kind of feel they have to live up to. Jason does better in the looser structure of CHB due to his having picked up many wolf-ish traits from Lupa, while Percy almost *relaxes* in the strict routine of CJ because it helps with his ADHD symptoms.

And this confidence he very clearly has in SoN, and the way he almost romanticized the possible relationship between him and Annabeth when he didn't have his memories, would lead to a very jarring experience when his memories are settled and he reunites with Annabeth. Because, woah, that was not just a subconscious bias from preferring his new friendships/camp structure, but she actually is like that.

Boom, he now has recontextualised memories and perspective of Annabeth, and a place where she doesn't have a stronger reputation than him, and he can fairly safely break up with Annabeth and escape attempts at retaliation.

He might wait until after the quest the Seven go on, so that he can immediately cut her out of his lfe, but this new perspective changes how he approaches her.

The canon would never, but fortunately for us, there are fic writers. If I get enough time somewhere in this month or next, I might end up writing this, but I will have to see, no promises.

Back to your point; you have covered mostly everything so I don't see what I should be adding to this exact scenario but yes it is one of the few perfect pit stops for a percabeth break up to happen. I am going to go down a slightly different avenue for this one as my thoughts vary a bit from yours, so bear with me. It is going to be long, but I need to recap and clarify a few things for others; I will get to your specific questions near the end. [Everything's numbered, so if you are in a hurry, just scroll to the final four points]

-------------------------------------------------------

The breakup could have been mutual, too, if Rick had written it well. If we follow the proper timeline, Annabeth was still hung up over Luke up until the end of BoTL and had just started to get over him at the start of Last Olympian. Percy had just been informed of the Prophecy and under massive stress between end of BoTL and start of TLO and was obviously arguing with Annabeth over it as she repeatedly got angry at him for reasonably freaking out over his then "assumed death" prophecy. To find some relief from all this, he was dating Rachel, who he really liked, had a kiss with, and overall a good relationship with.

Then the whole plot of the Last Olympian occurs in what can be considered to be a few months at best. Then both Percy and Annabeth get together but to recap the events leading up to this:

Rachel breaks up with Percy despite their good relationship due to understanding the role she needs to play in saving the Oracle.

Luke who had previously visited Annabeth to make her join him and who Annabeth was somewhat hung over still, dies.

The war ended up killing a lot of close friends and companions and was a generally traumatic event for everyone involved.

Percy is very high on mixed emotions, reeling from everything that's happened when he gets together with Annabeth, so neither of them have had any time to process anything that's happened properly enough.

They have their one month anniversary on September 18th[The Staff of Hermes short story], and Percy disappears in October. [Riordan.wiki has years and dates of important events].

So they have barely been together for two months, and Percy's already missing.

This is Annabeth's thought process when they do reunite. It implies she has been doing a bit of thinking about their relationship and might not be as sure about it anymore.

She also seems to heavily dislike Percy's initial idea of settling in New Rome and seems to have no intention of taking a break from quests like Percy does.

She also seems to dismiss Percy's unwillingness to go to NRU after the news of Estelle's birth and the events of CotG.

Those were a few key points of contrast between them both on their future plans. Not small ones either.

Now, back to their reunion and the events following; here are a few things:

She judo flips him in front of the Argo II and almost entirety of Camp Jupiter.

If Annabeth didn't know that Percy had lost the Curse of Achilles then she was judo flipping him on the small of his back where his mortal tether was located ; which she knew about and therefore would have killed him in her anger and hyper emotional state.

If Annabeth did know that he had lost the Curse of Achilles then she was still judo flipping her boyfriend who had been missing for six months after surviving an already very traumatic event where he barely managed to survive and was then put through kidnapping, six months of amnesia, and brainwashing against his will by a goddess and then thrust into an unknown land with enemies on his trail.

Further, she blames Percy for disappearing for all of the things HE suffered through against his will and HAS THE AUDACITY TO MAKE HIM APOLOGIZE FOR IT.

Annabeth says and I quote that she likes keeping Percy on his toes.

She also agrees with Piper that Percy needs to be leashed and controlled.

Then Percy's side gives us a few more concerning tidbits:

Percy repeatedly notes that he is scared of Annabeth or thinks she might hit him

He also says that she often brings up Rachel to make him uncomfortable.

Percy also doesn't feel comfortable confiding in Annabeth about Gabe or past trauma.

He repeatedly feels he isn't good enough for Annabeth, and obviously Annabeth's behavior consciously or subconsciously on her part enables his thought process.

He ends up almost killing himself because Annabeth makes him promise not to use his specific ability despite it being used in self-defense by Percy, which ended up saving them both because she was afraid of Percy's powers.

Yet another thing to point out is that Annabeth's fatal flaw hubris and her abandonment issues feed too much into her behavior, and until that is fixed, nothing can be helped.

Annabeth punched Percy in ttc just because he didn't ask her to dance like she wanted him to. She also gave Percy a very hard time just because he knew another girl (Rachel) and immediately acted controlling and toxically possesive towards Percy over Rachel and Calypso despite her and Percy not being in a relationship at any of those points. In fact, despite her supposed crush on Percy, she defended Luke all the way till Botl, despite his repeated attempts at murdering Percy, and even went as far as to say Percy was unreasonably angry at Luke. She also displayed rude and downright awful behavior when interacting with Rachel; and Rachel, being the better person, handled her with class and grace. This all is not even including her demeaning remarks against Percy's intelligence and condescending behavior.

We can conclude from all this that Percy and Annabeth are not compatible, with different future goals and clashing perspectives and most importantly due to lack of proper communication, terrible misunderstandings, and Annabeth's consistent toxic behavior.

But neither the characters nor the author and not even most of the fandom acknowledge any of these glaring issues, so nothing can be done, but their break up can go several ways:

1.

Percy and Annabeth both break up amicably with Annabeth apologizing and understanding the gravity of her behavior and her mistakes and consistently making up to Percy for all the things she has been doing terribly. This is only possible for pre Tartarus or pre MoA situation.

Annabeth could have had a good arc in overcoming all of her problems while Percy too dealt with his self esteem issues and past trauma and they could have given their relationship a shot again in the future; they are both too young right now.

2.

Percy confronts Annabeth on her behavior and breaks up with her. Things get ugly, and it ends up being horrible for both of them. This is a traumatic situation on both ends, but the reason why this is unlikely is that Annabeth and Percy have a case of trauma bonding, and there's hints of codependency more on Annabeth's end. Which makes Percy mask Annabeth's toxic traits easily and for Annabeth to ignore Percy's devolving mental health and self-esteem issues that she has been enabling unknowingly.

3.

The other likely option is third-party intervention. Sally or Poseidon/Athena or other campers.

I also disagree that the camp half blood would back Annabeth. Percy's their [CHB] unofficial leader and a good friend to all of them plus he is the reason the children of other non-Olympian gods have cabins and get claimed early so he definitely has a higher status than Annabeth does in both camps. Camp Jupiter also does respect Percy more than any other Greek, and he is the only Greek to ever be made Praetor. So in social or reputation terms, Percy's winning.

But I don't think other campers would dare meddle in Percy and Annabeth's business. Maybe the seven would. [Leo and Frank would never. Jason probably doesn't understand the whole situation. Piper’s misguided and would probably feed into Annabeth's behavior, so either Hazel or Reyna? Hazel would definitely help Percy understand, and Percy would totally hear Hazel out. Thalia, hmm, I don't really know what Thalia would do, but I don't think she would blindly back Annabeth. She does seem to care for and respect Percy just as much. Nico isn't touching it with a 20-foot pole, plus I don't think he is over his Percy crush at all, so he's not an unbiased party either. ]

4.

Last option and what probably is the most likely is that things continue as they are and Percy eventually snaps due to endless pressure and his mental health issues and Annabeth can't deal with it and then all their other issues which they have both ignored come spilling out and then it's just a clean break but it's going to be the most excruciating way out and given their luck definitely happening.

[johanna-swann]

I still wanna know at what point Tommy became "interested" in Buck because I've tried to narrow it down to a precise moment, but it does not make any sense.

So they met during the cruise ship rescue after which some of them in which ever combination exchanged numbers. Then Tommy befriended Eddie and invited him on a private flight to Vegas and got them great tickets to a fight that had been sold out for a while. Just the two of them. Which is an insane thing to do for someone you've only known for a few days and aren't close to at all tbh.

In the meantime Buck reached out to Tommy for the tour which went well, but I want to emphasise again that Buck initiated this and Tommy gave Buck a rain check on those beers without trying to figure out when their schedules might line up next. I mean. If at that point Tommy had already been interested, really interested, he'd either have tried to find a suitable date then and there or he would've reached out to Buck in the next couple of days after the tour.

He didn't reach out to Buck at all. (If he had Buck would've been less panicked about being excluded.) Tommy and Eddie kept hanging out after that though and neither of them at any point thought: "You know what, since we all met at the same time we could also invite Buck along." Not before Buck was aware of all their hangouts, not after.

All that makes sense from Eddie's point of view because he's already Buck's best friend. They see each other all the time (they didn't spend much time together outside of work during the week(s) in question, but they still saw each other for hours and hours at work), Eddie knows Buck doesn't care about cars and mma and basketball. He got caught up in meeting a new friend who he can do hobbies with and that's that.

And Buck himself didn't know what was going on period, he didn't know he liked Tommy, he didn't know why it bothered him so much that Tommy invited Eddie to all those activities yet still hadn't got back to him about those beers. He was absolutely clueless.

But what was up with Tommy here? He knew Buck wanted to spend more time with him. We also know Tommy's not usually shy about getting to know and inviting out new people because he did exactly that with Eddie. (It can't have all been initiated by Eddie; Tommy flew them, Tommy got the tickets, Tommy has the garage/muay thai set-up, Tommy has this karaoke trivia thing.) We know he's not shy about making his romantic interests known, he kissed Buck as soon as he suspected Buck might like him and almost in the same breath asked him out on a date. Where was that initiative between the cruise ship rescue and the basketball incident?

Because the only explanation that makes sense to me is that Tommy didn't really notice Buck at first. Buck did not leave a lasting impression during their first two meetings. Tommy also got caught up in the shiny new friendship with Eddie and only belatedly realised: "Wait, that other guy also exists." It was only the conversation and kiss in Buck's loft that opened his eyes to the fact that Buck actually seems like an interesting guy, too. Why else would he have basically ignored Buck yet hung out with Eddie every opportunity he got?

(Maybe, fair enough, Tommy wanted to play it cool and wait a few more days before he texted Buck after the tour. But he did nail down that dinner date immediately after the kiss and the date was only two days later. That doesn't scream "playing it cool by stalling a little".)

So yes, my theory is that he was not that into Buck at first (maybe he thought Buck was cute or whatever, but he wasn't instantly smitten or anything). I wonder what about Buck in that kitchen scene it was that eventually made him think "this one, I wann get to know this one".

(Personally I think it was the way Buck was open about his emotions. He openly admitted how he got jealous and that the basketball incident was on him, he put himself out there about wanting to get to know Tommy and he was embarrassed, but not ashamed about any of it. If Eddie and Tommy clicked because of their similarities, Buck caught Tommy's attention by being different. Tommy often plays his cards close to his chest to keep that image of the cool guy alive, Buck just put all his cards on the table in that loft. I think Tommy admired that. Didn't necessarily understand it, but it pulled him in.)

[lillaydee]

Naiveté - My Pompous Sister-Cousin Ruined My Life

Joel Miller (AU) / F Reader

Someone went online to rant about her bad luck.

Inspired by @jolapeno's epistolary dear-uary challenge.

WARNINGS: Angst, Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Joel is a Fucking Idiot. Joel is a Clueless Idiot

Divider by the fabulous @saradika

WORD COUNT: 3510

MASTER LIST

1. Dear Aunt Prue

*******************************************

Section: Rant

Posted by: ScornedSister1234

My Pompous Sister-Cousin Ruined My Life.

I need to get this out. I literally have no one to talk to about this. I have suffered in silence for 30 years. Well, no more. Strap in people, this will be a long one.

I (F35) grew up with my cousin L (F35). Her parents died and mine took her in. The day before they brought her home, my Mom sat me down and told me I needed to be nice to L. She has no one but us. Being 5, I was just excited to have a sister. She moved in, and we became best friends. Practically sisters. We even introduced ourselves as sisters. We did everything together. Literally inseparable.

School started, and as we grew older it became clearer L was nothing like me. She didn’t like to play or have fun. All she wanted to do was read and study. My friends made fun of her, called her all sorts of names, and when they found out we lived together, they made fun of me too. I had to bear the shame of having such a nerdy sister for so long. I tried to get her to join my friends and I, but she was never interested.

One good thing I’ll say about L is that she knows her place. She helped my Mom around the house and was very quick to offer her services whenever needed. I had no problems with this, until my Mom started saying I should be more helpful too, like L. I got in trouble just because I didn’t do the things she did. My Mom started a household chore chart, but I hated doing them. L didn’t want me to get in trouble, so she did them for me. She was found out, and I got in trouble anyway. You would be hard-pressed to believe she wasn’t the golden child.

I remember when I got my first make up set, we put some on each other’s faces for fun, but she quickly wiped it off hers. She said they made her face itchy. By dinnertime, her face had swollen up like a balloon and was red raw from her scratching. My parents panicked and took her to the hospital. The doctor kept asking her what she put on her face and she kept saying she didn’t put anything on it. They kept her in the hospital that night, doing tests on her, trying to find out what she was allergic to. When the results came out, I got in trouble for putting make-up on her. How was I supposed to know she was allergic? I was 12! And hello, she put some on my face too!

Every time there was a test, she would ace hers. I managed to scrape by, but whenever my parents saw her results they would hug her and treat her to something special. Of course, I didn’t get anything, but Miss Prissy Goody Two Shoes would always beg my parents to get something for me too. And my parents loved her for it. Golden hearted L. What a good girl. I should be more like her.

When she got a full scholarship to Harvard, my Dad acted like she was about to discover the cure for cancer or something. My Mom burst into tears and told her how much her parents would have been proud of her. God. It’s been years. Give it up already. They died years ago. Still dead, last I checked - no matter how many times you mention them. Newsflash Mom, dead people can’t be proud. They don’t feel anything! See? You don’t need to be a doctor to know that! It’s so frustrating! She was put on a pedestal. And I was sick and tired of it.

Do I say any of these things to her? No! Cause she’s an orphan, we mustn’t be mean to her. Cause she’s perfect, but poor her, she’s got no one. We should treat her nice. I did it all, even if my heart was screaming.

She went off to college and came home every few weeks – we lived an hour away. I have to say, I loved not having her around. I thought it was finally peaceful around the house. No perfect Miss L to show me up. But then, my parents made me get a job. I had to get the first job I could get, making pennies. My parents refused to help me buy anything anymore. I’m a grown up now, they told me. I had to find my own way.

When Nell came home for a break, she brought shiny new gadgets with her. She even had the latest iPhone, an iPad and even a MacBook. I was seething. How could my parents buy her those things and not me? Turns out, they didn’t.

It was then I found out. She had a generous trust fund. Her paternal Grandparents were very wealthy, and they set up a trust for her before they died. She never had to worry about starting her life once she graduated. She had money at the ready for a house, a car, tuition - which she did not need to use, living expenses, while I had to work 9 hours a day at a dead end job, scraping by, even while still living with my parents. Why don’t I have access to the same generous trust, you ask? Ah... we’re maternal cousins, and unfortunately, our shared Grandparents didn’t have two pennies to rub together.  

I tried to reason with my parents that she should give us some of the money, since they took her in. Apparently, the trust had been paying for her expenses since her parents passed. No wonder she had every opportunity at her feet. I could be where she is too if I had the money. My parents told me that the trust doesn’t give her the money, they get sent a receipt or something, I don’t really understand, and they reimburse her. You would think she would share the wealth, but no… she kept it all to herself, the self-important bitch. It would break the rules of the trust, my Mom said, and Prissy Miss L could never break the rule. Never mind that the person who had to give up her life as a single child was taking the bus to work and counting pennies every month.

It was humiliating. I was left alone, looking like a loser with no prospects, while she was flying high, well on her way to be a doctor. She was all everyone could talk about. My friends from high school, the very ones who used to make fun of her, began looking up to her. Suddenly this nerd they used to laugh at was an admirable person. People began telling their children to look to L. Be like L.

L, L, L, L, L.

But… she’s still my sister. So I kept it all bottled up inside. I had to accept the truth. She is the kindest, most sincere, most empathetic person I know. And despite my annoyance of her perfection, she is my best friend in the whole wide world, and I love her. She is perfect, even I had to admit that. In all areas, save for one.

Just because she’s smart and kind, doesn’t mean she’s very… socially aware. She seems to be very confused when it comes to men. She couldn’t seem to grasp that she, as a woman, is lacking. She’s too career oriented, too bookish, too proper.

Too boring.

The men she fell for has been, so far, way out of her league. Not to be mean, but she’s plain and dowdy. No way they would want her. I tried to warn her, get her to take better care of herself, so she would have a chance. But she never listens. Men after men after men. I tried to talk her up to these men, but they always ended up falling for me instead. It broke my heart to break it to her, but the heart wants what it wants, and before you guys go for me, let me tell you this - she always seemed to be okay with it.

How do I know she was okay with it? Because she introduced me to my husband, E (M38). He’s a heart surgeon at the hospital she works at. He’s very sweet, treated me well and took very good care of me. He proposed after only a year of dating, and we had an amazing marriage. He took me places I’d never even dreamed of, I finally got to go places, he bought me nice things, moved me into his amazing house, it was a dream. I didn’t even have to lift a finger. He hired someone to do it all, just so I could rest and be pampered the way I deserve. He called me his princess and showered me with gifts and basically gave me the world.

A few months ago, I decided to visit L. She’s a successful surgeon now, always working. I don’t get to see her as often as I’d like. When I arrived, her neighbour, J (M36), was fixing her faucet. He was a very good looking man. And I could tell immediately she’s into him. I can’t believe it. She’s doing it again. She’s going after a man who is way out of her league. This man is a man’s man… a manly man. He should be worshipped and treated like the king that he is. And L? She was far too busy and career-oriented to give him what he needed. I could only shake my head at her blindness. Poor L. Always wanting something she couldn’t have. But what could I do? She never learns.

A month later, I caught my husband kissing the widower next door. It was disgusting. I filed for divorce and immediately left the house. I had nowhere to go, so I went to L’s. She had the space, and it wasn’t as if she was always home anyway. We had moved a few hours flight away from our parents by then. She listened to me as I cried and told me I could stay for as long as I needed.

Because she was so busy, I spent a lot of time with J. He’s a good listener and was always willing to help. We fell for each other. It was inevitable. But my husband was delaying the divorce. He refused to even sign the papers. So J and I kept our love for each other quiet. Guys he’s the perfect man. He never hesitated to come lend a hand and ear, and most important of all, a shoulder to cry on. He’s so understanding, so empathetic, he’s just… perfect. I don’t think I have ever been in love like that before. I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of my life with J.  

About a month ago, after 2 months of being in denial and fighting the divorce, E finally signed the papers. I was so happy. It means J and I could make our relationship public. We could finally be a real couple. I saw him get some flowers delivered, I knew he was planning something for us that night. So I got all dressed up for a night out and just before we left for the date, J finally kissed me. It was the perfect kiss. I felt like I was soaring on cloud nine.

Here’s where everything went wrong. L saw the kiss and suddenly got all heartbroken about it. She went inside, packed a bag and left, and no one has heard from her since. And the sad thing? She was all dressed up! For some odd reason, she thought J was taking HER out! And then had the audacity to get all butthurt when she misunderstood?

It wouldn’t have been a problem – it’s not my fault she had deluded herself into an imaginary date with J. Except, J, the sweet, soft, kind-hearted soul that he is, felt sorry for her, and tried to coax her instead. He went into her house and followed her around as she packed her bag, telling her that we just fell in love. It just happened, that he didn’t do it to hurt her. L kept quiet and just left. He then told me he shouldn’t have kissed me in L’s presence, that he had always known that L had an unrequited crush on him, and that he needed time to figure out what to do about L, to let her down gently. He needed to, they live next door to each other. It would be weird for me to move in with him with her being all heartbroken next door. So we have put everything on pause since then, so that L could come to terms with reality better.

But ever since L left, J changed. To this day, he mopes around, waiting on his porch for her to come back, calling and texting her over and over. He went to all the neighbours asking if they had heard from her, even going so far as going to the hospital she works at and waited for her there in his free time, leaving me hanging.

And I don’t know how, but E and my parents found out about what happened, and shockingly, they took L’s side. I tried to explain that whatever they had heard were lies, but they hung up on me. They refused to take my calls, and J was a shell of the person that he was. He refused to pick up where we left off, too worried about what L would do if we did.

So now, I am still living at L’s, and I have nothing. E cut off any access I had to his accounts, and because of the prenup, I would be getting nothing in the divorce. My parents had blocked me, and I have no money to go home. My friends have deserted me, too worried about betraying E despite what he did. L has, so far, still granted me access to her delivery account, so I will at least be able to eat, but I don’t know how long I have before she cuts me off too.

I cannot believe she would do this to me. I cannot believe she would make this about her. I cannot believe she would paint herself as the victim, when it was her delusions that made her all heartbroken, taking everyone I care about with her. After 30 years living as sisters. My parents took her in when she had no one, and I was always nice to her. And this is how she repays me?

I don’t know where I will go from here, I don’t know how I am going to survive. I begged E to help me, but he kept blocking me everywhere. God knows how long I will have access to this phone, he might take my name out of his plan too. I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone.

-17,092 hearts

Top Comments:

User08356

Waah waah waah… me… me… me… God, do you even hear yourself woman?

DandyLion

Oh My God. I don’t have to meet this woman to know I don’t like her. She just happens to end up with all the guys L liked? And just happened to find her husband kissing the widower next door after meeting J? Sure, ScornedSister1234, the stupidest of us believe you.

KittyLady

I have never had the urge to hammer some common sense into someone’s head so much. Except the common sense might come in the shape of hot, molten lava.

User28574

Lady, go sell your stupid somewhere else. We’re all stocked up here.

UnmentionedDaughter

To all the commenters, listen up. I am J’s daughter. That’s right. J has a daughter. Did ScornedSister1234 forget to mention me? Oh, that’s right. She doesn’t even know my actual name, despite being told so many times. She claimed to be so in love with my Dad, who by the way, is not into her AT ALL, yet, forgot to mention that he has a teenage daughter. Also, she had not so subtly suggested for my Dad to send me to live on my uncle’s ranch so that he didn’t have to worry about taking care of me. Subtle, NELL. As if he would ever. He didn’t dump me when my egg-donor left, he would never do that now. He’s a father first, and if you had actually tried to get your vapid head out of your ass, you would realize that.

I was really going to keep quiet, but she smeared my favourite person apart from my Dad, uncle and aunt to the world. So I am not holding back.

FYI, you can listen to L’s version of the story here – skip to 32:44, the Dear Aunt Prue section.

This woman is straight up lying. My Dad is not into her. He’s just a kind man who doesn’t know how to say NO (I know, I gave him a hard time about it, don't worry). This man will help just about anyone, even a deranged woman like Nell. And that day he had flowers delivered? He was taking L out for dinner. It was her birthday. Not this deranged woman. L.

L is the woman my Dad is crazy about. He’s been in love with her ever since the day we moved in. And that kiss she mentioned? He didn’t kiss her. She attacked him – just surged and kissed him. He pushed her away immediately by the way, and I swear I could see him almost gag. How do I know this? Because my Dad was standing not even two steps in front of me, all ready to take L out, and this shameless woman came over all dressed up, asking my Dad to take her out to celebrate her divorce instead.

If you listen to L’s version, you will find out that Nell has been stealing men from under L all their lives (seriously, go listen to it). And reading this, I now know why. She’s just a bitter nobody who is angry the little girl her family took in, the one who supposedly had nothing and no one is doing so much better in life than she is. And here she is, badmouthing L (who is the loveliest, coolest person EVER by the way) while still LIVING IN HER HOUSE, feeding herself with L’s delivery account! Oh, and you’d think she’d be eating on the cheap, right? Nope. I saw a man deliver from a freaking steakhouse last night! Shameless much, Nell?

Oh, and if you’re worried about money, how about you come out of L’s house, live in the real world and get a job!

L, if you read this, please call Dad. He’s miserable without you. I miss you. Dad misses you. Please, L, come back. Give him a chance to explain. Please. I’m begging you.

Edit: Oh my God ladies! Stop asking for my Dad’s number! He wants L! No one else! Sheesh!

MrsDrJr

NELL, it’s me, your neighbour? Your ex-friend? I’m here to set things straight about E and the widower next door.

That widower is an 83 year old woman with dementia. She gets confused sometimes and thinks every kind man around her is her late husband. These men, most of whom are doctors, give her a small peck on the cheek sometimes when she gets confused to appease her, hold her hand and take her on walks around her garden every now and again. Nell knows this. Everyone knows this. So no, she didn’t leave her husband because he was cheating. After listening to the section at the link UnmentionedDaughter provided, coupled with the fact that she couldn’t stop yapping about her sister’s hot contractor neighbour since that day she visited, I am convinced she just left dear, kind, hardworking E for J just because she could see L liked him, and that it was reciprocated.

By the way, I also know L, I met her at some work/charity events a few times, as well as the hospital's Christmas parties. UnmentionedDaughter is right, L really is everything she mentioned and oh-so-badass. She’s the woman I want my daughters to grow up to be. She saved my daughter’s life, so I and all of my family and friends would go scorched earth to defend L. So yeah, stop with the lies, and lay on the bed you made, NELL.

User94587

Hey, I saw this post going viral, but there’s nothing here? Can someone tell me where I can get the content?

User17345

She deleted it. Got so much flak and hatred. Dumbo thought people would actually side with her. SMH.

User08966

God, I came back here to see if there’s an update. What a mess. Did UnmentionedDaughter ever update? Did J and L get together?

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3. ?????

[linawritesficsies]

s.h. | we need to warm up (one shot)

a/n: it's been a while since i posted a steve fic, so here it issssss. this is a combination of a friends episode and a scene from an old tv show i used to watch when i was a teenager.

warnings: being locked up in closed spaces, language, mentions of sex and injuries (freezing), english is not my first language. some stuff may not be accurate. MINORS DNI. credits to the gif owner!

summary: steve and you worked at scoops ahoy together and one day while you two were bickering about something silly, you got stuck in a walk-in refrigerator.

steve harrington x afab!oc!reader.

🚫do NOT copy, translate or put my work thru an AI.

Robin, your best friend, helped you get this job at Scoops Ahoy a couple of months ago. The work itself wasn’t ideal because you had to put up with a lot of annoying people (and cleaning toilets wasn’t very appealing either), but the pay was pretty good and it allowed you to combine it with your study schedule. The best parts were obviously the free ice cream and sharing shifts with your bestie.

You also had to share several shifts with Steve Harrington. You didn’t like him at first if you were being completely honest. You knew him from before because you had shared a few classes at Hawkins High, but you never actively talked to him. He was very handsome and charming, but his reputation of being a womanizer and a douchebag preceded him so for you that was enough to keep your distance.

However, everything changed when you took on this job. On the bright side, has had some personal growth over the last few months so this made spending time with him a lot easier. Of course, the King Steve persona sometimes came into the light and he could get insufferable, but you still enjoyed his company. You could say you had more of a ‘frenemies’ relationship. Definitely, one of the things that amused you the most was bickering with Steve, so when the work day was quiet, you’d pick a silly argument just for the sake of it. 

Thus, that’s what led the two of you to discuss the topic of sex in the middle of one casual Saturday afternoon in mid-September at Scoops Ahoy. The weather was chiller than the one from previous weeks, but there were some people that weren’t going to let the climate get in the way of getting ice cream. You couldn’t blame them though. Robin was at the register machine, getting the customers’ orders and Steve and you were organizing the stock at the back of the shop.

“Harrington, are you really saying that kissing and foreplay are not as important as the sex part!?”, you exclaimed a bit too loudly while you glared at your coworker with a questioning look. He just quirked his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders meaning ‘Yes, I said what I said. Deal with it.’

You didn’t feel any shame talking about these topics. In fact, you were pretty bold. Especially with Steve. He had that vibe that made everyone around him feel comfortable with discussing or doing anything. Of course. King Steve, ladies and gentlemen. 

“Why would I prefer the opening act when I know I’ll be seeing, I dunno, The Police soon?”

You let out a chuckle.

“You have been spending more time with Eddie, haven’t you?”, he gave you a mocking look. It was no secret that Steve wasn’t a fan of Eddie, especially because recently he had been stealing Dustin’s attention and that made Steve more jealous than he cared to admit. You couldn’t help but smile at the cuteness of Steve and Dustin’s relationship and his jealousy.

You grabbed one of the boxes with new ice cream flavours that were recently delivered to the shop because you had to carry them to the walk-in refrigerator, but since the two boxes were really heavy you asked Steve for help. At first he pretended to ignore you, but then he smiled teasingly and grabbed the other one to give you a hand. You had trouble deciding whether you hated that smile or you loved it… It was probably the latter. 

As soon as you entered the refrigerator, the chilly air hit your skin. You carefully placed the box you were carrying on the floor and put the door wedge so it wouldn’t close while you were in there. The door was pretty heavy because it needed to stay shut in order to keep the temperature low, but also, the door handle wasn’t working pretty well.

“Anyways, for us girls they’re really equally important”, you resumed your little argument while you two arranged the ice creams on the various shelves, categorizing them by their flavor. “We can get all the information we need about the other person from the first kiss. I can’t believe you don’t like it.”

You looked at him from the corner of your eye and noticed that he rolled his.

“No, honey”, he paused and sighed. You screamed internally at the pet name. He usually called you by your name or ‘Smarty Pants’ whenever you gave him witty comebacks. “It’s not that I don’t like it. I do, but I’d rather get down to the real business quicker.”

“Well, hun, friendly advice, if you keep thinking like that, you’ll have to settle with solo concerts.”

Steve wanted to give you the middle finger so badly but couldn’t do it because he had his hands full so he had to contempt himself by sticking out his tongue in a mocking tone. You gave him a playful nudge on the shoulder and then he gave you another one back but Steve was stronger than you so you tripped backwards and accidentally kicked the door wedge and the refrigerator door closed. 

“Fuck”, the two of you blurted out in unison; your heartbeats picking up rapidly. You exchanged looks and frowned your eyebrows at the same time. Under different circumstances, you would have laughed at the synchronicity.

“This is your fault.”

“How is this my fault, Harrington? You pushed me!”, you replied back while you got up from the floor and adjusted your uniform.

“You made me come in here!”

“I simply asked for your help!”

You decided it was useless to continue with this bickering so you kneeled down before the door handle to try to make it work. However, it was useless. The door refused to budge. You had repeatedly asked Keith, your boss, to call the repair guy to fix said handle but of course he never did. You cursed him under your breath while you got back up and started screaming and banging on the door.

“ROBIN! HELP! SOMEBODY”, Steve joined you but nobody seemed to hear. “HELLO, WE’RE INSIDE THE REFRIGERATOR!”, you both screamed over and over again.

“I hope Robin notices quickly we’re nowhere to be seen. If not, we’re going to freeze to death”, you lifted your hands to massage your scalp, trying to prevent yourself from spiraling. Extremely difficult task given the not so encouraging situation. You didn’t consider yourself a claustrophobic person but you weren’t a fan.

“Don’t exaggerate, Y/N. It’s just a little bit of cold”, he shrugged his shoulders and waved his hand dismissively, as if brushing off your very real concern. 

If looks could kill, he would be reduced to ashes right now. 

“Unlike you, I don’t have teenage-like hormones, Steve. I get cold easily.”

He was about to reply with another witty comment, but he noticed how anxious you were getting. He saw your right leg start bouncing rapidly and how you bit your fingernails—subtle things you did when you were nervous or distressed. He had noticed them before. He let out a defeated sigh.

“OK, I’m being serious right now: we’re going to get out of here in a heartbeat, don’t worry.” 

You went back to the screaming and banging, hoping that someone outside would hear you at that very moment and get you out of there. Unfortunately, you were alone with the echoes of your voice and movements. Meanwhile, Steve was pacing the small place, thinking of any other possible escape. 

After some minutes that felt like hours, the cold and the confinement were starting to take a toll on you. You sat on the floor with your back against the door to keep hitting it, more occasionally now. The Scoops Ahoy uniform was not enough to keep you warm; your body started trembling so you hugged yourself, keeping your knees close to your chest. Steve heard your shivering breaths. He scanned the ‘room’ one more time and saw the empty cardboard boxes stacked where you had been organizing the ice cream.

“We can use the empty ice cream boxes to keep us warm”, you gave him a questioning look. encouraging him to clarify. “We can break them down to sit on them and then put the other parts over our bodies”.

“God bless that big head of yours, Harrington.”, you smiled and tried to stand up but it wasn’t as easy as before. Your body was getting stiffer. Steve gave you a hand.

The two of you started tearing up the boxes and placing the flattened pieces on the floor next to the door and then cutting up bigger sections to use as makeshift blankets. 

“Well, it’s better than nothing”, Steve commented once you were all set and you agreed, keeping the cardboard boxes as close to your body as possible. 

It was far from being the perfect solution, but it worked… for a couple of minutes. Then, you started shivering again. You got up to the point where you could no longer feel your legs. You wanted to keep screaming and banging on the door but the little energy you had was starting to wear off. You decided to save it for later.

“Fuck, it’s so cold in here. I can’t stand it anymore”, you blurted out, more to yourself than anything and tried to rub your hands violently against your legs to get some warmth.

“Come here”, Steve whispered while opening his arms, motioning you to huddle closer to him so you could share whatever body heat you had left. It was true, Steve had a higher body temperature than any other person either of you knew but he wasn’t sure of how much that was going to last. He was feeling colder too.

You were hesitant to accept his embrace at first because you weren’t used to sharing physical contact with him but you quickly decided that it was worth trying it. Once you were beside him, he put his arms around your shaking frame and put two cardboard boxes over both your bodies. He rested his head on top of yours and you hugged him, wrapping your arms around his waist. Despite everything, this felt strangely nice and comfortable.

“We’re gonna get out of here, I promise”, he said after some silence and you could see the wisps of vapor that looked like smoke coming out of his mouth. 

You were too tired and weak to say or do anything. It seemed the temperature kept dropping every second. There was some frost on your hair and your eyelashes. Steve had it on his perfect hair too. At this moment, you actually believed you were going to die there. You snuggled closer into Steve’s embrace; not that it was really possible because you were practically glued to him.

You slowly started to drift off; your eyelids felt like two bricks of concrete. Steve went into alert mode when he felt you relax under his touch. “Hey, Y/N. Can you hear me?”

You let out a barely audible “Mh” and he started rubbing circles on your arm, close to your elbow.

“Stay awake, OK?”

He knew you couldn’t fall asleep if you had hypothermia. He didn’t know why but he remembered one of his biology teachers who explained that your body functions would slow down even more, which could be deadly. He didn’t even want to imagine that happening. 

At first, he didn’t want to admit he liked you because you were a pain in the neck, but then, as he spent more and more time with you, he learned you were funny, smart, and although you annoyed him to boredom sometimes, you were kind-hearted. Also, you had one of the most contagious laughs he has ever heard. And on top of that, you were insanely pretty. 

This drastic situation helped him realize he didn’t want to lose you, in any way. He couldn’t.

“I can’t.”, you whispered once again.

“Yes, you can”, his hands moved upwards to cup both your cheeks now; his desperate eyes fixed on your face. “Open your eyes, please, darling”. You wanted to laugh at the nickname but you didn’t even have the strength to do so. His voice was trembling now too. He didn’t know if out of the cold he was feeling or of the fear of something happening to you. He placed a kiss on your forehead. “Come on, I wanna see those pretty eyes.”

“I’m cold, Stevie. I’m sorry.”

You only used that nickname to tease him because he hated it. Now, it scratched his brain just right. He didn’t fail to notice you looked so small, so fragile. He didn’t know how, but he could feel you slip away from him.

“No, no, no, no”, he blurted out quickly. “Y/N, listen to me. Focus on my voice and my hands”, he rubbed circles on both of your cheeks. “Don’t fall asleep. Talk to me.”

His serious but also desperate tone made you realize the gravity of your state.

“About what?”, you whispered as you tried to get your whole attention to his gentle touches and his breathing. 

“About anything. Tell me a secret, a memory, an embarrassing story. Whatever comes to your mind, just talk to me.”

You gathered strength out of nowhere and opened your eyes. You saw Steve sigh with a little bit of relief. He also looked exhausted and cold, but there was something in his eyes that told you he was not giving up easily. You couldn’t say so for yourself, sadly.

“Your pretty eyes are the last pair I’m going to see”, you spoke slowly. Steve’s heart broke a little at your statement.

“No, don’t say things like that.. I need you to stay here with me. Please. I need you to stay alive so I can take you on a date when we’re out of here”, his voice and the movements on your skin were starting to slow down too. “I don’t want to leave this planet before kissing your beautiful lips.”

You gave him a weak smile.

“Do it now, Stevie.”

He lifted his eyebrows, thinking he heard you incorrectly. But then, you directed your eyes to his own lips, so he took it as an invitation and wasted no time. The kiss was slow and short but sweet nonetheless. None of you had much energy to keep going for longer, much to your dismay.

“That’s the way to warm up, right?”, he joked and you let out a choked laugh.

You went back to your tight embrace. You weren’t sure how much time you had left. You stopped trembling a couple of minutes ago and you knew that wasn’t a good sign. You thought about your family and your friends. One single tear fell from your left eye.

Just about when Steve was going to wipe it, you heard some noises on the other side of the door. You two looked at each other and Steve used the adrenaline rush to get back on his feet and helped you do the same.

“HELP, WE’RE STUCK IN THE REFRIGERATOR. PLEASE HELP”, Steve was the one yelling and you attempted to bang the door as loud as you could.

And then, the door finally opened. You squinted your eyes due to the sudden change of lightning and tried to make out the silhouette that was standing in front of you, but before you could see who it was or do anything else, your legs gave in and your vision went black, which resulted in you passing out on the ground.

Your eyelids fluttered open as the characteristic antiseptic hospital smell hit your nose. The sterile white walls were the first thing you saw. Your body still felt cold, even though you had several blankets wrapped around your frame. You turned your head to the side and saw Steve sitting on a chair, wrapped on a blanket as well. His eyes were closed and his head was slightly tilted to the side. He looked worn off but really adorable.

“Steve?”, you called his name but you didn’t recognize your own voice. It was really sore. The boy opened his eyes and gave you a sweet smile. There was a mixture of relief and concern in his look.

“Hey… You gave us quite the scare.” You apologized and he shrugged it off. “Your parents are already here. They’re filling out the paperwork.” He grabbed the chair and moved it forward to be closer to your bed. Then he grabbed your hand that was hidden under the blankets. “I should call the doctor to let her know you had woken up.”

You nodded but refused to let his hand go so he could stand up. His heart melted.

“We need to talk about our date”, you casually mentioned between giggles.

“You don’t waste a minute, don’t you?”, he chuckled, shaking his head. “I assure you, it’s going to be a date to die for.” Now it was your turn to laugh. 

aaaand the end... i hope you enjoyed it! and as always, i'd love to read some comments with your opinions :) and i'm also taking request, so there's your chance to leave a nice ask 💗

[iknowtheendnatural]

ya know sometimes life is okay

[okcoolthanks]

Bruh my name fit in hers theres no way im recovering soon

[phagodyke]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

[bluejaybytes]

@snowshinobi Hiiiii :3 I'm responding to your tags on a new post and not the original since the original was already somewhat lengthy, and I plan on being LONG and RAMBLY, but I have sooo many thoughts on what you said and I'm going to say them. Also my browser crashed TWICE (TWO TIMES. 2) when trying to write this post so I'm really fighting for my life out here to get my silly little OC posts done. Also it's under the cut because it's looooong as hell LMAO

Firstly, you're so nice to me forever <3 Secondly, I think you've basically hit the nail on the head. The majority of the issues Maggie has coming back from death and her 9 years gone are really tied almost exclusively to her close family, because she... never really had anyone else. While in-universe it's only 9 years, realistically the jump in technology and culture is around ~20-30 years (Maggie died in the 90s/early 2000s essentially, and wakes up in a just barely futuristic city), but... the most jarring thing to her in terms of what she missed out on is just. Flipphones are no longer popular. Other than her family, she's only close with one other person... who just so happens to be a ghost, and therefore both 1. Wouldn't change much over the timespan due to how long she's been a ghost and 2. Unlike her family, was aware that something happened, since she could see the ghost-of-a-ghost Maggie left behind (The ghosts name is Opal, she positions herself as a sort of "guardian angel" figure, though she's not actually, and serves as just another parental figure for Maggie while also getting after the ghosts that constantly harass her to pass on messages to the living). Maggie has no real relationships outside of her family, and while her relationships with her family are massively impacted by her unknowing death, other than that... the timeskip itself doesn't weigh on her because she had no one regardless. Her struggle to adjust to everything thats happened would've happened regardless of the timeskip for her, because she was such an isolated shut-in that it's the same whether it happened the next day, or nearly a full decade later

So another very interesting thing is that you've actually completely seen where I was going with everything, in spite of everything I said being very surface level and not actually delving into the plot at all. I completely skimmed over Jenna (She's very important to the plot, but she's by in large a regular person as opposed to Maggie's... everything), but for some additional context, Jenna has a horrendously shitty homelife, so her moving in with Maggie is both a gradual process (It goes from spending time there, to spending nights, to eventually just never going back home and moving in fully), and also serves as an escape for her. Part of that is also, so vitally, the food aspect. For some additional additional context, souls essentially serve as a persons lifeforce, practically every bodily function is improved by a soul that's stronger, though the "strength" of a soul is essentially entirely random, and not dependent on the individuals actions of any kind. Maggie had a generally weird soul before (Seeing ghosts inherently means she has to have something going on with her soul), but when she wakes up after her death, her soul is now even weirder, and part of that is that it essentially lets her get away with bad habits she absolutely should be seeing more consequences for. She barely eats, and when she does, it's basically exclusively crackers and whatever other safe foods she has around the house, because actually making food is a level of care and effort she just... doesn't give to herself in the slightest. Part of Jenna staying with her is that Jenna, without really discussing it, entirely takes up the mantle of caretaker of the apartment, with the biggest task being food prep, Jenna sees Maggie's unwillingness to take care of herself and silently steps up and starts making her actual meals so she's eating properly.

The problem is is that this also kinda... just straight up sucks? Jenna doesn't think much of it, it's something that needed to be done so she's doing it, she wants Maggie to be well fed even if she won't do it herself, and she's already been responsible for making all of her own meals for years prior anyways, so it's just another thing she does. Except that's shitty! Maggie's seen firsthand how terrible her homelife is, and it really weighs on her how even in her escape from that, Jenna's still being put in a position where she feels like she must care for her or else she just won't eat properly. So food is such a massively important thing to both of them, it's this symbol of love for both of them, it's love on the part of Jenna, for stepping in and taking care of Maggie when she can't do it herself, and it's love on the part of Maggie, for realizing how her own bad habits impact the people she cares about and wanting to lift that weight by taking care of herself better. It's also very vital for Maggie because she just... doesn't... have hobbies. Learning how to cook becomes really her only hobby and she puts all of her love and care into it, because for the first time in a long while she's actually passionate about something! ...Unfortunately she also is very very bad at it. She's inventing new dishes like "Burnt Salad" and "Please Help I Fucked Up Kraft Mac N Cheese" and still having to have Jenna come in and help her. But it's the thought that counts, and it'll only be a matter of time before she can make something vaguely edible.

And finally, the stuff about names! I didn't post it here, but while idly talking about her in a Discord server I'm in, I definitely think that had I made Maggie like even a few months later than I would've done she would've been nonbinary. As it stands right now though, I'm saying she's probably some form of genderweird but too busy trying not to die to think about it <3 Growing up knowing that ghosts are real and routinely being shut down by authority figures in her life about it has made her very aware of how bullshit a lot of things are and how the people who claim to be knowledgeable tend to not know what they're talking about (Beyond just the "people don't think ghosts are real", she's also got ghosts willing to tell her when people are lying because they've got nothing better to do than just gossip) , so if she spent even just a moment thinking about gender as a social construct she'd instantly recognize that and probably take up some form of genderweird label, but as it stands she's just too stressed with Being The Protagonist to think about that

Now, the thing with Margaret. I'm not even going to lie to you, I think you made a better connection to how a name connects with community in terms of the narrative themes than I did. The thing with Margaret denying the name "Maggie" existed for two reasons, the in-universe explanation is that, with the little scrap of soul Margaret has leftover from Maggie, it's essentially working overtime just to keep her vitals working, it can't dedicate time and energy to making her an individual with preferences and a personality, so part of that is that she doesn't respond to "Maggie" because ultimately, that is not her name. Her name is Margaret and she's not going to respond to "Maggie" because "Maggie" isn't her name. Of course, out of universe the reasoning is that I wanted an easy way to distinguish between Maggie as she is the protagonist, and the version of her that lived in the years she was gone, so different names makes the most sense.

I think your connection to how name relates to community genuinely works on a level I hadn't fully pieced together myself yet and I really love that because I think that absolutely works with everything. One of the main conflicts of the plot is how Maggie is entirely disconnected from her family thanks to the years she was gone, with Margaret having no priorities beyond "survive", she basically never spoke with her parents or brother for years. While her family tried to reach out to her repeatedly (Especially given that, while they're unaware the truth of what happened the night Maggie was murdered, they do know something happened, and they believe that whatever it was severely traumatized her, and that's where the sudden and drastic shift in personality came from), there's a point where they just... gave up. She wasn't trying to talk with them or contact them in the slightest, so around a year or two after Margaret moved out, her parents gave up on her. Her brother would still be there a bit, but he also didn't really... try... anymore.

When Maggie wakes up, she tries to call her parents... and they don't pick up. They'd grown resentful over the years, and now that Maggie wants to talk to them, they don't forgive her for the years of not speaking to them, and aren't interested in whatever she has to say after nearly a decade of trying to reconnect with her and being met with nothing. It's her insistence that she wants to be called Maggie that actually gets her brother to realize she's telling the truth and that something happened. She shows up at his door, already something that Margaret wouldn't have done, and that combined with her being visibly upset when he calls her Margaret and tells him that's not her and that she's Maggie, it signals to him that whatever's going on is real (...though he would've figured this out eventually, given that she also literally 17 again and not in her mid-20s, and has a giant glowing stab wound in her chest). I think it works absolutely perfectly as being a symbol of community, her disconnect from her community is what led to her being called Margaret, and her desperation to be returned to that community is when she's Maggie again. So uh. Congrats on getting the themes of my OCs better than I did <3

And uhhhh closing thoughts! I honestly did still skim over the majority of the plot (Literally never even mentioned Eli or what's going on with her stab wound </3), but I think you reeeeally hit the nail on the head with everything I'm kinda getting at with these OCs, which is... frankly wild given how little main plot I actually got at. Basically everything I mentioned in my original post was the setup, not the main plot. But waaaaugh thank you for being so niceys to me and also giving me another excuse to ramble endlessly <3

[guinevereslancelot]

how is my friend's baby 12 days overdue and didn't come during the massive blizzard we had yesterday

[steviescrystals]

i’m fr gonna lose my mind :)

[harlequinfrog]

this topic has already been discoursed to death but extremely transactional and "emotional labor"-avoidant approaches to friendship really will lead to such unfulfilling relationships bc--in my experience--deciding to help out a person i didn't yet know very well (or when people have done the same for me!) has almost always resulted in friendships i now cherish, with people i otherwise would not have gotten the chance to spend time with. obviously it's important to value your own time and set boundaries when necessary but there's so much joy in my life that would be absent if i had simply "you don't owe anyone anything"-ed my way out of connection with other people :]

[ppulverse]

thinking

[exopelagic]

i can’t believe i managed to get fucking mono and didn’t even get it by doing anything fun