#I stg it's an actual majority of ads

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

Like many folks with limitted energy and mobility, future grandfather-in-law has the TV on constantly. And I'm feeling very "their accursed television vs our beloved youtubes" about it. I do not want your moving pictures, I declare, with my own moving pictures playing on my phone. But my moving pictures come with adblock, whilst theirs most assuredly do not. So I feel at least lightly justified in my feelings.

With that said, I would much prefer that the 85-year-old man with memory issues be entrusted to the Smithsonian channel and its endless replays of airplane disaster docs and breakdowns of the wwii pacific theatre than throwing him to the thankless jaws of the youtubr autoplay algorithm, ads or not.

[gynandromorph]

this is the other comic i've drawn of them..... i've had a lot of fun just pantsing it, as is the nofna way. like with the other, my hand has hurt too much to actually draw all of the details all the way throughout the sketch (the dirt smudges, the roots in the burrow), so i added a simple background color and flat colors to make the characters stand out. you can see i couldn't even hand-write a lot of the dialogue here......... it's the worst on my hand, i stg. this one is about a little of Legend's lifelong obsession with rodents, naturally stemming from her desire to write. while there are primates who often write as well, they usually write their own work and see great success from that. i don't think we've ever seen a markscraft who isn't a rodent in the canon. canonically, there is an undercurrent of condescension toward rodents, even though they basically Started society as the majority of the citizens -- there are incredibly powerful rodents in the government, and then there are undesirables who become markscrafts as a safe, stable career. Legend's negative bias toward rodents is fed by that pervasive hierarchy in their society as well as her own hangups. i think she's had this little rant in her head bottled up for a long time, but she has usually had the option to Just Leave when she reaches a boiling point. Legend sleeps in burrows she seals off like in this comic to hide her scent from authorities. her belongings like her mantle and her scrolls and notes she leaves in a location usually designed to mislead anyone tracking her scent. generally, though, it seems like you can just leave your shit wherever and not worry about having it stolen in this canon. in Legend's case, even if her property is stolen, she can simply use Allusion to retrieve it. naked mole rats sleep in one big pile because they aren't very good at keep their body temperatures stable. Pegging needs to huddle up against Legend for her body heat and yes she loves every minute of it

i would really love to finish these strips one day, but idk when i will be able to. i would rather sketch more anyway

[lqfiles]

i wanna start a smau of my own, any tips?

omgg i feel like i’m never the right person to ask this to because this is only my second time trying smaus 😭 i wish i had that old response somewhere saved but i’ll give you some stuff i remember i think are important for smaus and writing in general!!!

1. make sure you got a idea of what you’re trying to write!! plan out the basic stuff, e.g what genre/trope you want to focus on while writing [ e.g. pay the price is a neighbour trope with enemies to lovers while stg is a sports au with strangers to lovers] the characters you wanna use and their characteristics etc.

if you struggle with coming up with a full plot (which i do to) i recommend just writing down major events you want to happen in the story like “i want them to be stuck in a room tgt” “i want them to accidentally kiss” and work around that by adding some random stuff with it over time.

2. try to make it sound as natural as you can? i noticed that people (me) are more interested in smaus that don’t feel forced with its dialogue, like you don’t have to rush the plot, and if you are, just make sure it makes sense for them to move from one point to the other!!!

3. this is a personal preference but you don’t have to make it sound like a serious novel. its okay and definitely appreciated to be random and silly in your writing!!! no one on twitter is going to be always tweeting angsty are they? maybe it’s because i’m on stan twitter but i always like to give my characters some type of quirk that doesn’t make them too bland yk? it can be boring to read a story where your characters are all very bland and barely doing anything

4. WRITE AT YOUR OWN PACE!!!!! i feel like a lot of writers in general feel pressured to put stuff out in a deadline and as a result it sometimes ruins the quality of the writing 😭 i’d say write a few chapters before you even post the smau so you can try to write the rest while you let those chapters marinate. as a writer (both smau and normal) you should never feel obligated to post, its YOUR blog!!!

5. make sure you’re actually enjoying the writing. this kinda ties to the 3rd and 4th point but if you don’t enjoy what you’re coming up with it’s going to sound forced and ruin the quality of the work. you don’t want writing to feel like a chore 😭😭 i’ve seen a lot of people put their smaus on hold because sometimes, you just don’t have the creativity or even the motivation to continue writing. i know notes and engagement can do a lot to motivate someone, but you should firstly ask yourself if you even enjoy your writing if it didn’t get any engagement? whether you’re okay with writing it for yourself. if the answer is yes than you’re already doing great.

ummmm idk if you have any other questions i guess i could try to answer? this feels weird because i haven’t even been in the smau scene for a year compared to others but i still feel honoured that you asked it from me!!!

[y2klostandfound]

Rez on Dengeki Playstation Vol.182 (Videogame Magazine) (27/07/2001)

Scanned by kitsunebi (Retromags)

Translation in English:

(Page 164)

PS2  STG

Autumn Forecast:

SEGA/UGA underpriced MC2 (KB number not yet added)

A new dimension game experience created by sound and light!

Sega's first PS2 title has finally been revealed. We take a closer look at the contents, along with an in-depth interview with producer Tetsuya Mizuguchi.

Interview - Tetsuya Mizuguchi

Aiming for a "good-natured game"

<I wanted to express the pleasure of manipulating music and images in the game>

At the PS2 software presentation "PlayStation Party" held on June 27, Mr. Mizuguchi, who demonstrated while actually playing "Rez", said, "The pleasure of musicians and DJs may be like this. I thought." That feeling is exactly what Mr. Mizuguchi tried to express in this game. "I went to Switzerland and witnessed a music festival attended by 400,000 young people. When people gathered to listen to house or techno music, they danced crazy. I was amazed. They are also very particular about the lighting, and when they see it moving in sync with the music, what if I could become the player and be able to control the sound and light? I thought it might make you feel better."

<Because it is simple, you can forget the time and be immersed>

Mr. Mizuguchi chose 3D shooting as the game system to experience this feeling. “I wanted something that could be played physiologically without thinking, with simple and clear rules, and something that everyone could play intuitively. I wonder if I was just thinking, "Is it too difficult?" "A long time ago, there was a 3D shooter called "Star Wars" in Atari's game. It was a simple screen composed only of wireframes, but I remember being so absorbed in it that I lost track of time. That kind of feeling. I also want to evoke the feeling of excitement.I think the excitement I felt 20 years ago is still valid today.”

At the start of the project, Mr. Mizuguchi said to the staff, "If there was a shooting game in which the music is composed when you successfully defeat the enemy, and the visual effects construct the world at the same time, it would be great. Don't you think it's good?" and the development of the game seems to have started.

“In conventional shooting games, all you have to do is think about how to make the enemies appear, but this game has a different trick that uses sound and light to create a pleasant feeling. It took an enormous amount of time to complete the program.”

<People who think they have no sense of rhythm should develop a sense of rhythm>

There have been many games in the past that use sound to create a pleasant feeling. But how are they different from the so-called rhythm games of the past?

I think that the traditional rhythm game was "forced". There is a certain point at which you have to play a note at the right time or you will make a mistake. Of course there is such a fun aspect, but in "Rez," there is no "compulsion," so you can play as you like, which is liberating. If you defeat the Enemy with your own timing, various sounds will come out and become music. I think there are quite a lot of people who shy away from playing sound games because they think they don't have a sense of rhythm." I think there are a lot of people who think they don't have a sense of rhythm and shy away from playing music games. However, this is a game that I want those people to try. First of all, I can tell them to try it without worrying about their sense of rhythm. Besides, the game is also fun to play as a shooting game. But when you get good at the game, you will realize that you have a good sense of rhythm. In fact, it was the same for me.

↑ Mr. Mizuguchi playing "Rez" at "PlayStation 2 Party". Mr. Shigeo Maruyama, the chairman of SCE, received a lot of attention.

3D shooter?

Basically, it's a 3D STG where you shoot the enemies that appear with lasers. However, according to the timing of the shot, the music playing in the background is further overlapped with the sound, and bright lights fly around the screen. A major feature of this game is the effective use of music and images.

(Page 165)

Pleasure created by simple operation

Hold down the missile launch button and move the cursor to lock on the enemy. Release the button to fire a laser that hits the enemy. The operation is very simple, so you can fully enjoy the STG-like pleasure of shooting.

Create your own "Rez"!

For example, if multiple enemies are destroyed individually, or if they are destroyed after being rocked together, the way sound and light are created will be different. How to shoot enemies and what kind of music and images to create. It's up to the player's preference.

Trance-like gaming experience

As you progress through the stages, enemies will appear continuously, so the sounds and lights that are generated will be dizzying. You'll feel a "high" that you've never experienced in a game before, with a brain-numbing intensity.

ABOUT TETSUYA MIZUGUCHI

Profile of Tetsuya Mizuguchi . Born in Otaru in 1965. Joined SEGA in 1990. Produced hit titles such as "Sega Rally Championship", "Sega Rally 2" (both arcade), and "Space Channel 5" (Dreamcast).In 2000, when Sega was spun off, he became the representative of United Game Artists.

↓ Mizuguchi's masterpiece

← "Sega Rally 2" (left) and "Space Channel 5" (bottom).

Finally, we asked them how they felt about entering the PS market. I have a very good image of PS users.I think they will thoroughly ignore anything boring, but if we do something interesting, I think they will respond very well to it. So I have high hopes that they will be into "Rez".

*The full text of the interview with Tetsuya Mizuguchi introduced here is available on Dengeki Online (URL http://dengekionline.com). Check it out if you want to know more about the world of "Rez"!

[cdroloisms]

can I have a refresher on the plot of the just him and me au? I got super brainrotty over it when y'all first made it but then i forgot my tumblr password for like ages

hello hello again anon! don't worry talking about jmah is like my bread and butter i can do it literally all day every day it's SO bad this AU changed my brain chemistry forever i stg 😭

here's a link to my tag on the AU, and if you go to @theminecraftbox kat also has her tag linked for you to look through a lot of JMAH rambling XD. For a general outline on the concept and timeline, JMAH (or just me and him AU) is a concept that starts with c!Sam, freshly killed at the end of the Daedalus arc, getting tp-ed back into his old body right as c!Tommy is about to enter for his first prison visit on January 21st, 2021. He comes to terms with what's going on pretty fast and decides that this time around, he's going to take things more seriously. This time, he's going to do it right.

That leads into the JMAH prison arc, which--true to the name of the AU--consists of just j!Sam and j!Dream for as long as j!Sam can manage it. Here's a quick rundown of major events:

January 21st, 2021 - j!Sam first gets tp-ed into the prison again. He prevents Tommy from actually ever visiting Dream, marching him out of the prison and immediately banning visitors to Pandora's Vault entirely. He goes back to the cell, freaks out at a very confused j!Dream, confiscating most of the items in the cell (taking the clock, blowing up the chest and lectern and cauldron to collect them), j!Dream's potatoes, and his mask. j!Dream fights when j!Sam tries to take his mask--it doesn't go very well. He gets pretty badly beaten and j!Sam himself doesn't come out unscathed either.

January 22nd, 2021 - j!Sam modifies the cell entirely--adds a lot more dispensers along the back, adding the crying obsidian, and most importantly adding a row of glass with a piston door to keep j!Dream locked in the back of the cell with only about two or three blocks of space from the glass to the back wall. A return system very similar to the one in c!Ponk's cell is installed. j!Dream is reeling and injured and kinda in shock about what the hell is going on with Sam, what - and as j!Sam starts putting harming potions in the dispensers above his head, he starts to realize that. Oh. He might be a little bit fucked.

January 24th, 2021 - j!Quackity tries propositioning j!Sam for Las Nevadas. j!Sam emphatically refuses, makes some weird implications about j!Quackity wanting to torture j!Dream (??? what ??? like not that the thought didn't cross his mind but what the FUCK??) and is ultimately pretty cagey and aggressive in ways that pretty thoroughly sour j!Quackity to the guy, especially when he learns about the weirdness that happened with j!Tommy's prison visit. The two of them start hanging out more, and in the process start theorizing that maybe j!Sam is in with the enemy--maybe j!Dream has played them all. (Around this time, j!Sam also seals up the Egg Room. Okay, problem boxed fixed, not his problem now!)

~March, 2021 - Lacking any updates from inside the prison, j!Ranboo sets off the TNT in a last ditch attempt to try and communicate with the man inside. j!Dream is heartened by the reminder that he's not been forgotten, but also faces Consequences for this. He's slowly coming to terms with j!Sam's deal and trying to figure out what the hell he's going to have to do to survive it and get out of here. On the other hand, the TNT freaks out j!Sam badly--even now, even after everything he's done, j!Dream is still hiding things from him. Still getting things past him. It's a pretty rough day for them both.

~ May 2021 - j!Quackity and j!Tommy's efforts to break into the prison to figure out what the hell is going on finally bears fruit in a convoluted, definitely-should-not-work-in-the-slightest-by-any-stretch-of-the-imagination kind of plan that. Miraculously. Somehow. Does manage to work, through a combination of j!Sam being a little too careless and distracted and hey like after you try different things like a hundred different times maybe you'll come up with something a little less bound to fail on step one and sheer, plain, dumb luck - they manage to break in while dragging Ghostbur with them, wanting information on what's going on (and j!Quackity, of course, looking for information on the revive book.) Once they get to the cell, all hell breaks loose - in the chaos, as j!Sam makes harming rain down from the dispensers to try and gain control, j!Dream ends up reviving j!Wilbur before j!Sam arrives in the cell. j!Sam maims and kills j!Quackity, taking two fingers and a life, and then once again throws j!Tommy out of the prison. IT's the first major deviance from the old timeline, and it is. a Huge blow to j!Sam, who has otherwise been convincing himself that everything has been running smoothly thus far. It's a awful cocktail of some of the moments from the old timeline where he felt the most out of control (taking Ponk's arm, watching Tommy die, being unable to stop Dream from reviving Wilbur, Quackity's visits) and it shakes him up badly. His relationships have been slowly burning as this timeline has proceeded - despite managing to not torture and maim j!Ponk this time around (woo great job for that one j!Sam) they had a very messy + very public breakup, j!Tommy's complaining hasn't really done his reputations any favors, cutting off the rest of the Badlands and not keeping j!Bad and j!Ant as guards hasn't helped their relationships at all, and he's also just . Been holing himself in the prison. This incident gets pretty publicized and only ends up making his reputation worse - and j!Sam ends up spending even more time within the prison.

~ November, 2021 - Tired of j!Sam's bullshit, j!Quackity's planning goes from 'trying to figure out what's going on' to full on Butcher Army, time to plan a coup. Enlisting j!Techno for the cause (hey, they've got to have a shared grudge against j!Sam, right?) he starts planning a takeover of the prison. He's going to take out j!Sam, trap him, j!Dream, and j!Techno inside the prison, and get the keycards for himself. Time for him to be top dog, whatever. His plan goes off pretty well...except for how j!Techno had a stasis pearl and manages to leave before he gets to him. Whoops. Still, he's got j!Dream and j!Sam and an axe he's been grinding for months--time to get the keycard and get the Revive Book and get his fucking revenge for good.

~ end of November, 2021 - j!Techno returns not too long after gathering some supplies necessary to break in and break out of the prison again, the weak points being. Much, much more shoddily patched together, given that they were fixed by j!Quackity. At this point, j!Quackity has been visiting the cell daily for about two weeks, mostly focusing on j!Sam because he's really fucking angry about the whole "oh yeah i maimed and killed you lol" thing and because...honestly j!Dream isn't even as fun or as satisfying, mans has a pretty high pain tolerance and isn't nearly as scared of him as he is of disappointing his Warden >:/. j!Techno arrives, j!Quackity books it the hell out of there, and he's left with j!Sam and j!Dream in the prison. He's here to break j!Dream out, obviously...but what to do with Sam? Dream tells him he'll handle it.

about a week later - j!Dream returns. j!Sam had told Quackity about the time travel, j!Dream wants the keycards (and with the threat of j!Quackity coming back, j!Sam is definitely pretty willing to give them over, relatively speaking) and...j!Dream wants answers. JMAH Daedalus goes on for a stretch of time that I don't think we firmly decided on before j!Dream kills j!Sam with an axe to the heart, and...j!Sam is left back at where he started. One life down and wondering how it all went so wrong.

Of course, these are just most of the main ~events~ in the timeline and honestly, these don't really touch on how things develop within the prison at all. That's covered more in other posts about JMAH--which, definitely check em out if you're interested :D Or ask more questions, of course. I'm always down to brainrot about themb.

[xdisabledx]

Barefoot shoes are actually a godsend for me

Okay so, basically, I have a valgus deformity that I never got corrected because it's not major. However, it always made it hard to walk in shoes with padding (and in general, but I digress). Why did it do this? Well basically, the way I learned to walk with it is basically by walking in the balls of my feet, as if barefoot. Unfortunately, that meant when I set my foot down, the padding would trip me and my whole foot would smack down at once, actually giving me bursitis over time. So growing up my options were skate shoes or tripping. However, even skate shoes are not ideal, because I walk on the sides of my feet a little bit -so in a normal shaped toe box, no matter how big I get my shoes, my toes will scrape each other and get beaten up...

Then I heard about barefoot shoes and I stgs my life changed forever lmao

So, basically, I saw an ad talking about the shape and benefits of barefoot shoes. I barely believed it but thought "it's worth a shot" so I got a pair of splays (they're on the cheaper end and shaped exactly right for what I need) and within a few months my toes were healing up and my knees weren't hurting anymore! I highly recommend barefoot shoes if you naturally walk the "barefoot" way, and if you have trouble using or otherwise dislike the feeling of regular shoes. There's a TON of different brands and it seems like one for every shape and size! This is not an ad or sponsor, I just want everyone to know how much barefoot shoes in general have helped me, as a disabled person with my specific leg issues. And obviously, they're not for everyone but just in case this sounds helpful and you haven't heard of them before, go ahead and do some research!

[always-a-mad-comet]

I stg if you people do not start adding things people can actually do to help, once your done with your rant about how a majority group are inherently bigoted, I will fucking start biting people

[yardsards]

here are some of my own additions

(the hooty one only makes sense if you know that i was very tiny and cutesy and silly and not AT ALL seen as tough)

Things I’ve done in school as TOH characters:

i’m pretty sure Luz would have done most of these as well but shhhhh

[tarobytez]

disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant. 

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist. 

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is. 

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”. 

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me. 

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.  

Oh fucking boy. 

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully. 

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled. 

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability. 

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community. 

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged. 

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people. 

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted. 

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows. 

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

[marvel-m-lee]

Fun scripted memories I have in my DR bc I can.

Eddie and I having breakfast across the table without speaking and just giving each 9ther a mini wave and smile.

Watching the sunrise or set with Bruce. (This was my first Core memory and I the first thing i do, everything is in the Tickle series 😂)

Thor and Loki taking me to asgard and giving me a dress, it's gorgeous and Thor does my hair and Loki helps when Thors a bit rough <3

When the snap eventually does happen, I go back to the compound and go in my room. Bc I have the stones in my blood I'm technically one of the strongest in other ways so I was able to hold on. But I was also snapped. Before I go thiugh, wade comes in and sees me beginning to fade and we hug with tears in our eyes and I'm just dust.

I actually have tickles scripted, so wade knows I enjoy them and loves taking the piss 💀

Strange knows I'm from another reality but doesn't mention anything-

Vis and I having a deep conversation on the roof about right and wrong.

Wade and I watching yhe stars.

Peter, Wade and I (Eddie pops in and out constantly) have a sleep over in the cinema and take selfies and stuff. It's so much fun omg 😩🤭

Tony and I in a convertible just on the road bc why not?

Bucky and Sam teasing and chasing Peter and I-

The GOTG having a massive dance battle on Just Dance which I get to join in on- omg its so fun!💃🕺💃🕺💃🕺💃

Scott, Wade, Clint, Eddie, Peter, Sam, Bucky and I playing card games together taking the piss. Steve, Tony and Nat join later.

Adding onto the previous, GAME NIGHTS. Usually ends in tickles for me tho ngl. Or Peter.

I read a fic ages ago about Parker not wanting to get up so Tony Tickles him and theres a watertight. So yh, that.

CHRISTMAS! Gingerbread and cupcakes and SNOW OMG THE SNOW FIGHTS! UGH. I STG I TAKE STEVES SHIELD AND BUCKY PUSHES ME DIWN A HILL ITS SO COOL

Baking with Wanda bc I LOVE baking

Asking Eddie for any writing tips bc I love to write.

Venom usually joins with me if the two are having a major argument or Eddie's taking a shower. Idk, he just likes it? Luckily my body can take him in so- yay... he finds out pretty quickly I enjoy being tickled.

Eddie's also a lee. Random, but I like that fact.

Bucky is so sweet- he'll love talking or joking or hanging out when he's I'm a good mood and if he's in a bad mood then he'll just try to stay away but I'll give him hugs and love <3

Sam is awesome. He's like an uncle brother and omg its just lit. Love him. He's also one of the first ppl I meet

Tony and Bruce letting me work in the lab with them. Peter too.

Crashing a date between Tony and Pepper bc I can. I change the songs with peppa pig tunes and All Star (the shreck song by Big Mouth 🤣)

Steve drawing. I just catch him sometimes.

Steve also likes to tell stories about the war, real old man type shit, while Bucky will tell me thibgs about when they were younger and how Steve got the ahit beaten out of him. I love them 💀

Wade climbing through the window-

Clint teaching me how to shoot a bow and accidentally almost hitting Sam-

Clint in the vents and Tony, Sam, Bucky, Nat and I all kicking it randomly throughout the day jusy incase he's in there 💀

Thor and his pop tarts... I've never tried them before, or not in like 6 years or smth, so he casually stuffs them down my throat

Loki and I reading by the fire <3

Wanda teaching me how she uses her powers while I use mine bc i got no fucking clue .

Ice cream. One is Eddie having ice cream to piss off Venom. Ends badly for E.

Loki and i pulling pranks and getting wrecked afterwards. So worth it in my opinion. Loki was just embarrassed 😂

Loki and Thor singing in asgardian <3

Karaoke night, on this massive stadium. Ugh, love it! Peter and I have a duo, so do Tony and Steve and they sing the Greatest Showman The Other Side or snth bc I forced everyone to and OMG ITS JUST SO COOL.

Halloween parties. So much chaos. And I lob candy at ppl

Easter, look at my easter fic, basically along them lines.

Nat and I doing make up

Nat training me to do that neck thing but I just keep making sex jokes 💀✌ she shuts me up...

Loki and Thor dancing around the fire as they sing in asgardian and the team all clap as Peter and i join in <3

Tbh I'm really enjoying writing these so imma just add randomly bc they are really gd for feeling connected <3333

[witchern]

not @ me writing “you’re my compass” in 2011 and predicting “you’ll be my guide” nearly a full decade before 15x08. (hey spn writers, where’s my check??)

anyway, hi, this is my way of plugging my old midam fanfic, ‘with a whimper,’ for the first time in years, because i just finished doing a massive round of edits and fixed it up!! 

there aren’t any MAJOR changes (the plot is exactly the same, characters and arcs are the same, scenes are still largely the same, etc. etc.) but during a reread i kept getting bothered by the errors i was finding (grammar, sentence structure, changes in tense, continuity, awkward dialogue) (i stg i had a beta reader but it looks like we both hecked up!), so i cleaned it up. 

the only actual major change is that the rating got bumped up, because there’s a new scene and, well, 👀

takes place during season 7. includes leviathans, random biblical shit, copious amounts of bobby explaining things, adam finally doing cool shit and being treated like the important king he is, and of course, adam and michael starting out strugs to func but falling in love along the way.

---

also, the original fanmix is no longer on 8tracks, so here’s the new link to it on spotify! it’s also 99% unchanged (enjoy that sweet, sweet early 2010s vibe) save for one instrumental song i added to the end.

[shipskicksandgiggles]

13, 38, 47

13. What is your planning process?

"planning process" lmao you say that likes it's not a vague plot summary and a fever dream. I used to outline things but I kept adding things and getting lost so I just freehand things mostly. on the rare occasion that I do need my thoughts I'll have like a List of Important Things that absolutely need to be included, but that's only for major fics

38. Do you partake in any fanfic/writing events? (Big bangs, zines, NaNoWriMo, etc?)

I mean I've done prompt weeks before? (I want to do the Halloween week thing this year, but we'll see if I have time)

most big events scare me because I get intimidated and think I'm not good enough to like,,,, actually do it, but sometimes it's really just bad timing. hopefully I will be able to again though, the weeks I've done were so much fun

47. What fanfic of yours is truly underrated?

oh my god Te Amo

this fic I stg. it was a Halloween request from Aven last year, and I kind of took an unconventional approach with it so it's literally my least popular fic. it's inspired by the movie Coco, but I grew up learning about Dia de los Muertos and understand the significance of remembering family in a way that matters, so I just really vibed with the concept of Tony growing up and learning these traditions of his mother's even if Howard didn't respect them. plus I'm really into the concept of Tony being not white (in this case Mexican-American), but I get that that's not what a lot of people want. still it's one of my favorite thing's I've ever written and I'll probably reblog it again closer to halloween

fanfic writer asks

[bokutokoutarou]

alex babe congrats on hitting 1k!!!!! u r on ur way to becoming the greatest showman with this litttt circus 🤪im rLY excited for ur match-up!!!so i’m here requesting one for myself if that’s aite 🥺 im 5’8 (giaNT), i play ultimate frisbee & netball. i change my hair colour tOO frequently and currently it’s purple 💜 big dick energy bcos of my height & im quite independent and alpha but actually im an emotional softie on the inside that cries at every lil thing 😩 (-con’t in pt2!) - 🥞anon

(con’t from pt1 of 🥞) -pronoun: she/her -mbti: fluctuates between enfp and infj (im always ~ 50/50 E/I) -always clowning myself (throwing away my cash, embarrassing drunk stories, getting my nose punched during moshing, shattering my phone screen bcos a volleyball landed on it....) even tho i look unapproachable with my rbf 🤡 -im majoring in political science right now so tbh i like to analyze every little thing and im a nerd for history 🥺 tq so much for doing this!!!!i luuuuv u💛💛 -🥞 ((((omg im so sorry but can i ramble a little bit more🥺🥺))) -i’ve been getting tattoos every yr since 18 and now i have 6 over 3 years (my attitude towards it changed from “it must be meaningful” to “whateverz it’s just cute” HHAHHAH) -i do tarot cards!! im quite an intuitive person and it’s a good practice that allows me to reflect -so yeap im a mess of everything, a typical aquarius HAHAHHA astrohoe -🥞 anon who is v sorry for being an annoying lil shit who spammed u with 3 paragraphs 😭😭

omg u are such a clown and ILYSM for it 🥞 anon!!! i’m so glad ur apart of my circus🤡🎪

your first mini matchup is...

BOKUTO KOUTAROU

AHSHSHHSHS THIS IS LEGIT THE BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH

bokuto’s so forward and outgoing that the fact that u have a rbf does not deter him at all from trying to befriend u

it legit didn’t take long for u two to get together bc u guys are a clown match made in heaven and that’s a fact

u two both look tough on the outside but are emotional softies deep down, so when one of u goes into an emo mode, the other one does too and it’s a MESS

r.i.p akaashi bc u two are a whole circus and his life is gonna get a hell of a lot harder oops

bokuto would totally be ur partner in crime, and u would both clown urselves TOGETHER

just imagine the crackheadedness, the complete clownery of ur two braincells combined...i stg u and bokuto would be a combined disaster and I ENVY IT

okay so pls PLS play frisbee with him bc he’d love it so much!!

he’d kinda be trash at it tho bc he’d get too hyper when the frisbee would get close to him (but don’t tell him that or he’ll go into emo mode lmao)

he’d highkey think ur tattoos look so cool, and he’d be inspired to get some bc of u (u’d have to recommend the place to him tho bc he went to one once w/o telling u and he had to get a coverup bc it was a mess oops)

since u dye ur hair frequently, u’d totally try to mimic his hairstyle by dying ur hair all black and having it fade to a nice silver, but u’d clown urself bc the hairdresser would mess it up and make u look like a skunk agbzhshsh

but hey, that’s another story to tell. and expect many more bc with bokuto, there’s always something disasterous and fun waiting to happen

ur second mini matchup is...

LEV HAIBA

an ICONIC TALL COUPLE

okay but fr fr, even if i didn’t see ur height i still would have put u with him because the clownery in this relationship is a whole VIBE

lev would lowkey highkey be intimidated by ur rbf at first, but one day he straight up approached u and started a convo about how cool ur hair was

babie was SHOCKED when he found out that u were a clown just like him, so definitely expect some more clownery now that he’s in ur life

you’d highkey dare him to try and get into a baby swing and he’d actually fit bc he’s so skinny, but he wouldn’t be able to get out so you’d have to call emergency services to help him ahsjsjsjsjsj

ngl, he’d actually be really good at ultimate frisbee bc his arms are long af and he’d be able to reach it in the air easily, and he’d totally drag u to the park to play it with him

kenma wouldn’t be intimidated by ur rbf at all, so he’d totally diss lev by saying:

“congrats — ur better at ur girlfriend’s sport than ur own”

also, everyone in the school refers to u both as the “tall couple” even though ur not even remotely as tall as him

if u ever rant to lev about political science or history, he won’t understand a single word ur saying bc he has zero braincells left, but he’ll just nod along and listen to u bc he thinks it’s adorable when u ramble about it

pls give him a tarot reading omg! he’d highkey be so into it and u’d totally get him into astrology

don’t make him give u a reading tho. i stg he’d clown it up so badly and predict some whack end of the world shit lmaooo

u two would be so fun and chaotic, but also so soft for each other and it’d be cutest thing ever aaah!

sidenote: i saw ur third ask late so i added hcs about them now!

[migleefulmoments]

"Fairies= anyone feeling different or told they can't be who they are, perhaps including the LGBT community? Hmm.. Close to his heart? What closer to his heart than the reality he's living?" Does Abby understand that Chris is gay? He was bullied all throughout his childhood for being gay and having a high pitched "girly" voice. He's always talked about feeling different and like he was an outsider in his hometown. I stg she's never listened to word Chris has ever said about himself and his life.

 OMG this submission and Abby’s comments.  Abby didn’t write the part you quoted- her friend did- but she did repost it and call it “brilliant”. She did add her comments to the end where she agreed with the general sentiment and some specific points .  

I didn’t enjoy ATOM. It’s a kids’ book so it doesn’t matter how I felt about it but I was flummoxed how Abby and co. can rave on and on about it. Chris isn’t subtle with his messages, he beats you on the head with it and I thought “how in the world can she not get the point of the story”. Then I read the submission and Abby’s point again while I responded and not only has she never listened to a world Chris has said, she didn’t read the same book that I read.  WTF? Her- and her friend’s- ideas are insane. Pure insane.  They are the vapid ideas of someone who used the book as confirmation bias rather than actually READ the book. The LGBTQ message of the story is blatant and not something you might not catch-it comes with spotlights flashing and blow horns blowing. The idea that it’s about Chris’s own personal adult love story is beyond asinine-what is beyond asinine? Is there even a word? I need a word beyond asinine.  

I added my comments in italics within parenthesis.     

*************************************************************************

Submission from a friend (I posted my brief thoughts at the end). Major spoilers below. Scroll past if you haven’t read and don’t want to know.

First off, just in the note to the readers, I knew this book was going to be full of some good stuff.

Obviously, all interpretations are my own, after my first read through.

“A tale of magic follows a group of young fairies as they fight for acceptance in an oppressive world where magic is outlawed and despised. This story is very close to my heart, and writing it was the most challenging and emotional process I’ve experienced as an author to date. …… I hope it encourages and comforts anyone who may be fighting their own battle for acceptance and equality.”

Fairies= anyone feeling different or told they can’t be who they are, perhaps including the LGBT community? Hmm.. Close to his heart? What closer to his heart than the reality he’s living? (Ya think? Duh. OF COURSE IT IS ABOUT LGBTQ COMMUNITY. If you aren’t SURE that it is about LGBTQ kids then you have no business commenting further).

“If we want to change the world’s opinion it must be encouraged, not forced– and nothing encourages people like a good spectacle.”

Hmm… a spectacle? Sounds familiar. You can’t force anyone to believe anything, but it can be encouraged by opening your eyes to a good spectacle, like say a wedding, and realizing that it just doesn’t make sense if you open your eyes. Nuff said. (Hmmmm...a spectacle? It isn’t about the “spectacle” getting the character’s attention and then acting, it’s about encouraging the world to see “fairies” in a positive light by creating a spectacle.) 

One of the books that Brystal comes across is by Daisy Peppernickel. I think that speaks for itself. It’s clearly known that Daisy is a certain someone’s nickname, especially used by the part of his fans that believe in Daisy. (This is so offensive- Chris would NEVER call his boyfriend a “Daisy” when he was “acting gay” like said fans do. Chris is fighting to normalize differences in society- he isn’t going to immortolize a nickname used as a label for when someone is “acting gay”.)

“.. each author’s cause of death was EXECUTED FOR CONSPIRACY AGAINS THE KINGDOM. … It was a graveyard for truth and an archive of people the Justices had silenced.”

Deleted tweets, accounts vanishing into thin air. This sounds a lot like the conspiracies against (str8) fandom. It’s no secret that people have been silenced. (Right, this is about Chris’s adult pain- not his childhood pain. That is exactly how I read it too (eye roll font). He’s telling 12 yo kids “Don’t worry about high school bullies, families rejecting you and kicking you out of your home before you are 18 and no sweat about conversion theory but LOOK OUT for deleted Tweets and conspiraries from your fandom. That is the hard stuff!)  “All the books in the secret room were written by people who felt and thought exactly like she did, by people who questioned information, who criticized social restrictions, who challenged the systems set in place, and who weren’t afraid to make their ideas known.”

Questioning information? Challenging the system? Not afraid to make their ideas known? Can’t think of anybody that might do that. (Riiiigggghhhhttttt Chris didn’t write a book about accepting everyone regardless of sexual orientation or other differences. Nope, he wrote a book about not believing PR, not accepting the truth and always questioning what celebs say. That’s relatable to kids, right?) 

“Personally, I think life is way to complicated for anyone’s life to be set in stone.”

Even though D seems to be in a death sentence, there’s way more to life and his fate is not set in stone. C believes in his man, and knows he can overcome this. (So more proof Chris ISN’T telling a story to kids about accepting themselves and that it gets better. Instead he’s telling about how his adult life is hard and his lover will be worth the wait no matter how hard it is).  

“Sometimes as  a survival method, fairies suppress their magic so deep within themselves that it becomes extremely difficult to reach it.”

This reminds me of D’s dudebro persona that he brings out. He’s suppressing himself so far that at times he’ll turn himself into a different caricature of himself. We all know Daisy is in there somewhere under the layers of D-bag. (Honestly that quote from the book is so obvious it’s baffling that someone would try to make it anything but what it is. How she can turn that into something specific about an adult’s behavior when the book is written for children is absurd-also notice she is using “Daisy” as a nickname for when he is “acting gay”. When they call Darren “a D-bag” I have to cackle, Darren is who he is and they don’t like him. If you think he’s a D-bag then what are you doing in this fandom? How can anyone over the age of 12 believe that the behavior they don’t like is a charade and the real him is “somewhere under the layers of D-bag” (and therefore rarely seen). Real life isn’t a fiction story and real people don’t act like fictious charaters from TV).  

“It’s very hard watching someone you love in so much pain.”

C watching the person he loves get knocked down over and over, he’s speaking directly from his own experience here. (Again, yes, Chris wrote a Children’s book about accepting yourself and it’s ok to be different but the real message is about being in his 20′s and in love and how hard it is for him to kept apart while ccDarren hides for fame).   

“Horence had the misfortune of falling in love with a witch. … Naturally, such a relationship was forbidden, so for over a decade, Horence and the witch carried on a secret affair. When Horence’s soldiers discovered the relationship, the men betrayed their commander. They burned Horence at the stake and forced the witch to watch it happen.”

Using LGBT to equal ‘magical’ (As I’ve found countless references I haven’t even put in here) D fell in love with someone magical (gay), and their relationship was forbidden and secret. Once their secret was out, the team made D pay for it and C had to watch it all go down with nothing that he could do. (Except throw all his angst into his books ;) ) (Ugh! ORrrrrrrrrrr the book is about how people who are different are outcast and even killed for their differences and in this case, with the book so obvously about LGBTQ kids, it is about being outcast, shunned, or even killed for not being straight).  

“We must pity the people who close to hate, Brystal. Their lives will never be as meaningful as those of the people who choose to love.”

The pathetic souls that do nothing but hate on C C and spread hate will never have as meaningful of a life as those that chose to love and support our boys. (Yes, Chris looked deep into his soul and the one message he wanted to share with children is how hard it is to be a CCer. Chris said “This story is very close to my heart, and writing it was the most challenging and emotional process I’ve experienced as an author to date. …… I hope it encourages and comforts anyone who may be fighting their own battle for acceptance and equality.”  He was so worried about all the straight, middle-age women in the cc fandom that he wrote an entire book about their pain. It isn’t at all a message to kids that says “You ARE special and people who refuse to see how special you are and love you for who you are will be the losers because they will live their life without loving you” nope, this is a story ccers persavering)   

“We all know how terrible keeping a secret can feel. Secrets are like parasites, the longer you keep them inside you, the more damage they cause.”

The longer D is force to stay closeted, the more damage it does to him (Nope, this isn’t about how hard it is for kids to pretend they are someone they aren’t. It’s about how hard it is for 32 yo, $3-millon house buyer Darren Criss to hide in the closet in exchange for fame and wealth. Fuck those kids in Russia).

“If we had had everything we wanted then, we might never have found what we needed now.”

This to me feels like C is actually a little bit thankful for the bumps in the road. He’s trying to look on the bright side. If things had always been easy for them, they might have taken it for granted. Everything they’ve been through has only made them stronger. If they can get through all of this shit alive, they can make it through absolutely anything. (I don’t have enough information to know what this is referring to, but I do know without a doubt that it isn’t about ccDarren and their ccbumpy road of cclove) 

“She dreamed the fairy was repeatedly knocked to the ground by a ferocious monster in a fur coat and snowflake crown.”

The ferocious monster in a fur coat? Makes me think of another monster that wears a fur coat. Shade.  (A monster in a fur coat with a snowflake crown? It’s a literal dream, not a symbolic one. OMG this entire post is so much more ridiculous than I rememered when I read it the first time. An evil villian in a big coat and crown is a common fairytale trope.  I also believe deep in my heart that Chris would never write “This story is very close to my heart, and writing it was the most challenging and emotional process I’ve experienced as an author to date. …… I hope it encourages and comforts anyone who may be fighting their own battle for acceptance and equality.” and then literally bully a real person -even if she was awful). 

“You can stop pretending, Brystal. I know you’re aware of much more than you’re letting on.”

C knows that we know. He’s not living under a rock. (Again, yes, Chris was so worried about the ccers he wrote an entire book to reassure you all.  He’s just pretending it’s about LGBTQ kids and acceptance). 

“I don’t know about you guys, but I refuse to sit back and let a frosty old witch take Madame Weatherberry away from us.”

Frosty old witch= Obviously M (obviously, blech) 

“Do you guys know what your love languages are? Mine is quality time. It used to be physical touch, but that wasn’t working very well, so I had to change it. People are so picky about personal space and–”

C cherishes any quality time that he gets to have with D, since it it’s not always available. (I can’t with this one...they are getting even more embarassing ) 

“Sometimes good people do bad things for the right reasons.”

I have this bookmarked, along with some other passages about the Snow Queen / Mrs. Weatherberry. I know that there’s /some/ significance around this, but I haven’t fully figured out exactly what all it symbolizes. I have a few ideas, but nothing really seems to line up completely to me. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it at some point! (How about it means that “sometimes good people do bad things” or “the end justifies the means”. The story is about a war with a bad witch and as a 14-yo heroine, this is something she would wrestle with. Not every single word is about acceptance, LGBTQ or even cc love.  Some of it is literally the words used to spin the fairytale. I can’t remmber where this was used but I presume it was when Brystol went to fight the Snow Queen).  

I think those are the big things that I’ve bookmarked. There’s so much more I could talk about, but I’m afraid it would start to not make any sense if I just started rambling, so I decided to go off of passages from the book and my thoughts on why I think they’re significant or tie into C C.

You can feel free to just keep this for yourself, or post it at a later date, or take pieces parts to post. Whatever you want!

***********************************

I know I’ve been really bad about posting on the book. I saved this submission because I thought it was brilliant and a lot of great insights.

My opinion on the Madame W/Horence/Ice Queen? C is Madame W/Ice Queen and D is Horence. I too thought frosty old queen at first referred to m. But once the twist was revealed I’m convinced it’s c and his dual personality like the twins. He is a Gemini as he likes to remind us. It’s his struggle between being happy with the love he was blessed with and his desire to destroy for the people that have so gravely hurt them. (So this isn’t a book where Chris gives his readers inspiration and hope for the future? The stories he tells about kids in Russia sharing their stories and their fear of being put to death is all a ruse so he could tell his own ADULT story of hardship? Doesn't his cclove nightmare prove that it doesn’t get better?)

This story is very close to my heart, and writing it was the most challenging and emotional process I’ve experienced as an author to date. …… I hope it encourages and comforts anyone who may be fighting their own battle for acceptance and equality.” 

The quote above to think about most. (Dear @ajw720, yes, because he grew up a bullied kid in a world that didn’t understand him. He was teased for being gay before he knew what the word meant. His voice was too high. He grew up in a town full of people who hate gay people. It’s really sad that you can’t see that Chris wrote a children’s story that is so obviously meant to give acceptance and support to scared, lonely kids from across the globe, many who live in places where being LGBTQ is illegal and punishable by death; many who are at risk for becoming homeless and losing their families if they tell their truth. It is a story that has NOTHING to do with romantic love. It’s written for children who are worried about more basic things like safety, shelter, and family support.  They haven’t progressed to romantic love yet. You believe that Chris felt it was important and appropriate to write a children’s story about the difficulty in his adult cclove affair? You think that Chris read letters from LGBTQ children all over the world and the ONE message he felt he should share is his own adult love affair? That the pain of his starcrossed adult love affair is a more important message than addressing the issues of basic safety for kids at risk of being homeless, beat up, jailed or even killed for being LGBTQ? You think that the lessons he’s learned in the last 10 years as a wealthy, white man in America in a committed relationship are more inspiring to children the world over than his growth and acceptance of who he was in high school and general ideas about acceptance and love? You think all those letters from kids in Russia made him worry about the cc fandom and your struggle? Only a straight woman with no ties to the LGBTQ community could ever envision such a scenario).  

Sometimes good people do bad things for the right reasons

That’s him talking about their Pr life and I’d guess directly addressing the fraud in NOLA. He’s believed in d and he wants us to believe in him too. (Yep, ccChris wanted to inspire kids the world over by talking about PR-because all kids can related to PR- and a wedding that doesn’t seem to bother him or have anything to do with him. ccChris is as shallow as his creator) 

#chris speaks through atom

#atom spoilers

[averrys]

— MEET AVERY.  come plot with me cowards, my pals.. my loves... xoxo

TW: minor death.

full name: avery nakamura. nickname(s): none. age: 22. date of birth: november 12th, 1996. hometown: dallas, texas. gender: cis female. religion: agnostic. sexuality: bisexual.  hair colour: black. eye colour: brown. height: 5'6. tattoos: a dagger with a snake curling around it between her tiddies.  piercings: ears, (2) nipple piercings.

family life

lives with her aunt after her mother disappeared after giving birth, dad was there for the first 16 years of her life before having a stroke in his sleep. 

before her father’s passing, her house was always full of light and her father singing in the morning; he never failed to put a smile on her face no matter what, a single working dad, an only child and a stand in mom with the face of her aunt. she loved her father’s attention more than anything, after his passing it was like he took some of her light away from her. 

she was always continuously jumping from one thing to another, if it wasn’t piano one week, it was learning gymnastics the next, if it wasn’t that it was attempting to learn russian because she was bored and most of this carried out into her life in college, her first year was hell not knowing what she wanted to do while her peers seemed to have it all around her. so she stuck to a broad major, biology -- does she want to pursue something and get a masters, a doctorate ? well.. one day for now she’s chillin.

she never had an exciting family life, it was always just her dad and her and since it was just them two, they would travel as much as she could with her dad

after he died, she began to live with her aunt and that added her among a house full of two boys, her cousins were way younger than her and she always treated them as if she always had brothers. that created a sense of loyalty in her, always wanting to protect the one’s she grows love and attachment to.

whomst is avery ? 

avery is a full crackhead

god it’s dumb BUT she does .. love eating raw ramen she developed the love when she was like around 8 when she found some in the cupboard, sprinkled the seasoning on and treated it like a chip snack and since then she’s loved it , kieran vc: lose my number

a huge .. huge softy, she puts up a front that shes tough, stomping her boots around pretending she knows her direction and purpose in life but when beneath the surface she whole so much more, just a scared girl out there looking for something. 

LOVESSSSSS oversized shit, she’ll have her everyday fashion which is.. mostly black clothes and if there was color, she’d only dress it up for special events, but she loves coming home to nothing but an oversized sweat and loving it. she thinks wearing black makes her look older and less like a baby bc of her round face

speaking of fashion she loves it, she loves clothes, wishes she had the riches to afford better clothes but that’s life 

when she was born her dad gave her a teddy bear and she’s never let it go or out grow herself ya kno, after she died it was all she slept with. it provide her comfort but ask her if its hers she’ll deny and pin it on it being her cousins and was pranked

there’s two avery’s basically, what she decides to show on the surface versus the softer avery looking to hang out with someone in closed quarters, watching movies, cuddling, sharing her favorite ghost stories she read on reddit but the outside is someone who’s dead panned, pretends shes tougher than she actually is, lives up to live and rock babeyyyyy

she’s hecking gay god she loves gorls

she’s a little spoiled considering how much her dad would have done anything for her but it’s hardly shown, maybe once in a blue moon among her pals 

i wish there were more .. shes so easy to get along w like if ur in deep shit at 6 am she’ll zoom out and help a pal out, she’ll tease but she’ll be there

she’s the most intune w herself ig.. or the world.. i forgot the phrase/word but OH WQAIT I GOT IT, its when she feels more at peace is when shes lookin up at the stars bc this. binch i stg rlly truly believes aliens exist, shes ready to hack the government for answers

i think thtttt is it

come plot w meme thots .

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 3x01 recap

Okay so honestly, until the episode actually aired I wasn’t sure this recap would happen. This hiatus has been all too easy for me, because the finale-- or, specifically, the time jump paired with the realisation that Weller really was going to have a kid-- really made me question whether this was still the show I fell in love with, and if I really wanted to dedicate any more of my time to it. Plus, since I avoid spoilers, there were some serious concerns-- for example, whether Weller even knew why Jane left-- that I had, that I didn’t have the answers to yet.

Which meant that basically I went into this episode not really expecting to feel particularly positive about it. But instead-- like with the second half of S2 after that rather unpleasant start-- damn Gero managed to pull me back in, as he somehow always does.  

So here goes. Recap time. But fair warning: this review is about my personal feelings towards the show, and therefore you may not agree with what you read. Feel free to come and talk to me about it anyway.

Honestly I (like everyone else) knew a wedding was coming, but unlike everyone else I wasn’t all that interested to see it. I mean, I’m happy for them and all, but I’m more interested in seeing the being-married part than the actual getting married. But then the flowers, and the music, and the family looking so beautiful, and Patterson OFFICIATING, and Hirst and Stuart being there (side note: I am only now recognising Stuart as an actor from Gero’s old show the LA Complex, along with about six other actors who have been on this show over the years lol). But anyway, considering my biggest problem with S2 was the baby fiasco, I was expecting to feel the same nausea when seeing the baby onscreen as when I thought of it at any other time (it’s literally one of my least fave tropes, guys, so I’m sorry but I will always hate the existence of the baby), but it was fairly easy to just ignore it. I was bummed not to see Sarah or Sawyer, who would literally have never missed this wedding and tbh would have been a waaaaaaaay better inclusion in S2 and 3 than the unwanted offspring, but whatever. #Foreverbitter

That said, seeing the team laughing and dancing and having an amazing time was just the best. And of course the Jeller lovey-doveyness was so great, and maaaann I really wish we could have heard those speeches. Reade and Tasha dancing was a little bit borderline for me-- they’re so cute and I love them as best friends but PLEASE GERO JUST LET THEM BE BEST FRIENDS. DON’T PUT THEM TOGETHER. PLEASE DON’T.

Ngl I don't at all like that Jeller moved to Colorado. Big nope for me, though I understand why it happened, and god I did love the scene with the fam helping them pack and then tough-as-nails Tasha crying??? Let me die. But I also identify with her the most rn, bc she GETS it. With Jeller gone, their family will never be the same. The roadtrip montage was cute, and the carrying over the threshold???? Ughhhhh save me. I love that they took on the project of the house, the two of them making the perfect team (was there a baby in this montage? Nope, not that I saw. No babies here. Maybe just Allie’s new puppy that they look after from time to time. Yeah, let’s go with that. Bethany is a puppy they babysit and no one can force me to view it as anything else).

So as much as I’m enjoying this montage of domestic bliss, I’m kinda ready for it to end because GUYS PLEASE I’M TOO USED TO ANGST AND SLOW BURN, YOU CAN’T OVERLOAD ME WITH FLUFF LIKE THIS.  And then phew it ends, leaving us in the new Jeller residence with Weller just returning from napping in the laundry beside Bethany’s basket because she still howls when she’s left alone and so he had to pet her until she fell asleep. Awwwww, so nice of these two to look after Allie’s puppy while she works nightshift. I love that Jane cooked dinner-- I bet Weller’s been teaching her and lots of sweet and sexy kitchen times have ensued. Jane gushes about the puppy’s cuteness and Weller suggests maybe they should get one of their own. Good thing they’re talking about a puppy and not a child because wow “one of our own” sure had a very exclusionary implication, like Jane was not at all connected to any other puppies/babies that might exist. But anyway I gotta move on before the world I’ve carefully constructed in this Matrix starts glitching. Saved by the bell, or rather the phone-- it’s Keaton with a warning that their lives are in danger, and here’s yet another topic that threatens to glitch my reality. Keaton tortured Jane for THREE MONTHS. Brutally and without true remorse. He should be persona non grata with literally everyone (the team and the fans alike), but instead the writers have turned him into the team’s new buddy. This is the biggest issue I’ve had with the show, I think-- not Keaton specifically, but what he represents. Because honestly when I think about certain plot points in theory, I feel very strongly and very negatively about them; but when the show goes “no it’s fine everything’s actually great” it somehow sucks me in and I just go ‘oh okay cool everything is great, that’s good then’’, and I just?? For example, I really enjoyed watching Keaton in the finale, and then I thought about it after the episode ad was like ‘wait no I hate him, how did I forget I hate him?’ Like I stg Gero is a wizard, and like anything truly magic related, that’s both a good and a bad thing. But anyway rn I’m appreciative of Keaton because he just helped save Jane and Weller’s lives. So I guess he gets points for that, though technically Jane has saved his life a couple of times already now. Jeller proceed to beat the crap out of their attackers, and aaahhhh, isn’t this so much more THEM than painting walls and picking out cushions? Their Colorado life was a nice little holiday but it wasn’t them.  Naturally the gunshots wake little puppy Bethany who is now barking in distress, but they check on her and she’s fine. Keaton rocks up to explain that some Sandstorm member has put out a hit on Jane for $10M, and now no one can stop a shit-ton of mercenaries from coming after Jane. Keaton and Jane are in agreement about putting Jane into a version of WitSec-- hopefully with much more comfortable lodgings than the last time she was put up by the CIA. (#Yesstillbitter).  Weller tries to reject the idea, then decides he’s coming too, bc “You’re my wife” ughhhhhh, but Jane can’t let him walk away from the rest of his life. She knows what that’s like, after all, though lbr giving up her life as Remi was the best thing she ever did. Unfortunately for Weller, he has a very hardheaded wife and he sleeps very heavily when he’s cuddling a fluffy puppy, so Jane bails in the middle of the night, and nope nope nope  I never needed to see her crying as she pulled off her wedding ring, thanks Satan (I mean Gero). But lbr, Weller is Jane’s everything, and she would do anything-- including break her own heart-- to keep him safe. Oh, Jane, you noble idiot.  At least this whole scene has allayed one of my concerns going into this season-- Weller definitely knows why Jane had to go, so he knows it was done out of love, and not for the lack of it.  I still think she could have kept the ring, but I suppose by leaving it she was telling him that she was okay, that she was leaving of her own accord and hadn’t been kidnapped or murdered or anything.

Have I mentioned lately how much I really hate time-jumps??? After the finale, I desperately hoped that they had been married the majority of that two year gap and that their separation was only like three or so months. I even mostly-completed a oneshot postfinale fic along those lines, but then we found out about the 18 month thing and I was like “well screw you too, show” (#yepdefinitelybitter) and abandoned the story entirely. Plus, it’s been otherwise proved non-canon now, so that was rather a waste of time. But anyway, it’s now 18 months after Jane disappeared (undoubtedly aided by Keaton) and you just know the whole family will have been scattered to the winds. Another reason to hate time jumps. Speaking of the team, Hirst shows up at Weller’s apartment-- which he somehow still has; renting it out, I guess?? But damn he’s clearly richer than I thought he was. He’s about to sell it though bc he’s spending all his time and money searching for Jane, just as he has for the last 18 months. And on one hand, I can totally be like “awww he loves her so much” but on the other hand I want to be like “wtf you sadistic writers, you’re literally going to rip apart a couple who loves each other for A YEAR AND A HALF, which is a FREAKING LONG TIME (seriously where were you 1.5yrs ago? Think about that and how much of forever ago it was) and then also literally have the love of Weller’s life disappear into thin air, when he had already spent 25 years of his life searching for the last person he loved who disappeared, and OH YEAH, WHO TURNED OUT TO HAVE BEEN DEAD THE WHOLE TIME???” Legit, if you actually take two seconds to think about it, this entire plotline is freaking awful and upsetting and yet the show will literally brush it off like it’s nothing, or merely a tiny insignificant blip in their lives. Just watch. And so again, this is one of those moments where Gero bedazzles us into not being upset by things which very much should upset us. But ANYWAY, Hirst is there because the team has been kidnapped, and I use the word ‘team’ lightly here, because they literally haven't seen each other in like a year because everything fell apart after Jeller abandoned them to go puppysit in Colorado. Anyhow, a mysterious box with Jane’s name on it (or her maiden name at least, no one can convince me that the woman for whom Weller is her home wouldn’t have taken his name and the belonging that went with it) was left in Reade’s apartment, likely because he’s the only one left in NYC because all the others bailed. Seriously I feel like this team’s breaking apart has given ME abandonment issues, so I have no idea how they’re all managing. But anyway the other nifty thing about the box is that it has coordinates on it, very possibly leading to Jane’s location. Congrats, Weller, looks like you don’t have to sell your apartment after all. And you totally have all the info you need to go find Jane, plus an excellent excuse, given that only she can open the box and help them save their friends (who they completely ditched two years ago). Fun times.

Jump to Nepal, and the scene from the finale. Now we know for sure that the hug was because Jane had never wanted to leave him, which is nice. Also that whoever left the box (lbr we all already know it’s Roman) literally made it so the two of them HAD to solve this together. Looks like someone ships his his sister and brother in law lol…  Aaaand okay now Jane is glowing. She admits that it must have happened when she was in an accident some months ago that had her in and out of consciousness for days, and wow how must that feel for Weller? Hearing that she literally almost died months ago and he would never have known about it? Dammit Jane, I know you suffered without him too and that you were doing it for ‘good’ reasons, but I still think you were wrong to do it. If anyone has a time machine up their sleeve, please donate it to these guys so they can go back and make better choices.

But all realistic feelings aside, the pair are straight back into tattoo solving mode (admit it guys, you’ve missed this) and quickly figure out that the first clue is a reference to the place that Weller proposed to Jane-- St Mark’s Square in Venice. Which on one hand is ugh so sweet and romantic but on the other is… kinda unoriginal? Lol. But regardless I need to hear more about his proposal. How long were they in Venice? How long had they been together? Did he intend to propose the whole time or did it just happen? Why did they holiday in Venice as opposed to other locations? Tell me EVERYTHING, GERO. But anyway Jane’s like ‘It’s happening all over again’ and it’s easy to assume she’s unhappy about that, but then again, maybe she’s actually not? Technically working with the team on the tattoos was the best time of her life (with some exceptions here and there). Weller offers for her to stay out of it if she wants to-- which is big of you, Weller, it really is. I mean we all know you're desperately hoping she comes with you, but then again you want her to be safe, so… this must be conflicting lol. But of course Jane is down to rescue their best friends (again, friends that they abandoned #irrationallybitter), and lbr is probably super sick of climbing that damn cliff, PLUS can’t face leaving her hubby a second time, so together they set off to Venice. Yay!

Weller has taken some full-body shots of the new tatts (I feel like that had to be slightly awkward for both of them) and sends them through to the lab, where they are received by Stuart (onya for moving up in the world, buddy), Hirst, and… RICH DOT FREAKIN COM. I mean, we’ve all known for a while that he was returning, and suspected long before that, but honestly this is the moment that makes the episode for me. My fave is back and is making jokes about nudes, and all is right with the world.  Jane is like ‘wtf’, and so Weller gives her a rundown on all she missed-- namely, that her entire ‘family’ has become estranged-- Reade is working in a position that tbh feels above his ability and experience level, give that his predecessors are the superhuman Mayfair and the wonderboy Weller; Tasha the CIA-hater is now working for the man who tortured Jane; Patterson has literally moved as far across the country as she can, to do work as far from their FBI work as possible. See what happens when parents abandon their children, Jane?? Everything falls apart, so you better go fix it. Also, two things: first, I wanna know all about Rich’s dealings with the FBI in the last two years. Give me a spin off just about that, please. Secondly, did Rich and Patterson try to find Jane after she disappeared and how did they feel about their (apparent) lack of success?  But anyway ugh literally every line of Rich’s is pure gold. I love that he’s staying in the same safe-house she did?? Keeping it in the family lol.  And then ugh for all his jokes about the nudes etc, you can tell he’s legitimately concerned that they’re about to walk into a trap. Oh my baby loves and misses his friends and wants them back in one piece and I juST LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Meanwhile, in the fun bunker, Reade and Zapata wake up after being drugged, and while he’s all business, she’s like “it’s good to see you, even if it takes being kidnapped for it to happen” and we discover that they haven't spoken at all in the year since Zapata went to the CIA. Dammit Jeller, see what you did??? Everything is broken!!!  And now a long-haired Patterson is herded into their cell, and is understandably all ‘wtf’ about it. Well, at least they’re all in the same room again, right?

Seeing Jeller in Venice is weird. I walked right there in the spot where they're walking, many times. I saw everything they’re seeing now. And ugh Jane says it seems like forever ago that they were last here, whereas for Weller it feels like it just happened. Which subtly demonstrates how they’re no longer in sync, and then ugh Weller tells her that this was the first place he came to after she disappeared, going straight to the place that only they knew about, hoping that she was waiting for him. But she wasn’t, and ugh you can tell how much that hurt him, realising that she was never going to come. How long did he wait for her before he realised that?? Ugh. But I appreciate that she immediately stops to apologise and try to explain herself, including making it clear that her love for him was the driving factor behind everything she did. The choice of language by the writers is clever, though, because we (and Weller) hear her say ‘loved’ and neither of us know for sure if that love is still present tense or not. Which of course it is, but still, the suspense… But ugh poor Weller. He’s still so hurt. Jane can you just give him another hug please? For longer this time? Like, say, forever?  

Also sidebar: I’m holidaying in Vanuatu atm, and there’s an old guy swimming in the pool that I’m sitting beside, and he looked up at me as I was writing that last sentence and at first I thought maybe it’s because he’s a man and I’m female in a bikini, but then he goes (in a cute, accented voice) “Don’t work so hard. You’re on holiday! You should be relaxing!” hahaha. Don’t worry, buddy, I’ve been lazing by this pool for hours now, and I’m currently writing about some of my favourite fake humans. I’m all good.

Meanwhile back in the Blindspot world, Jeller find a case on the roof that has her tattoo on the side, and while Weller is all ‘wait for the bombsquad!!’ Jane ignores him and immediately opens it. Ah, Weller, did you miss this? I mean it’s just like old times.  Inside the case there’s a phone, and Jane calls the number, and Roman answers almost too eagerly. He’s clearly pleased to be interacting with them both, and proud of himself for his genius plan for ‘tormenting’ them (while also bringing them back together, freeing Jane from the hit on her, and giving him an excuse to interact with them whenever he wants). Aw, my psychopathic lil boy just misses his family. Honestly it sounds like he’s gone through a fair bit of trouble to get to the guy who holds the hit out on Jane and give them a way to take him down… a way that involves kinda almost killing Jane but eh, could be worse? And then ooooh they realise from the bells that he’s right there in the square too, and omg as Jane is asking him how they get their friends back (answer: apparently they don’t) she’s spinning around looking for him, and right behind her is a walkway with a snack bar on one side of it, and man I have such clear memories of walking along that walkway to our hotel or stopping into that snack bar for gelati. Ugh, I miss Venice. And then he says her name again (dude it’s Jane WELLER, not Doe) and she spots him and takes off after him and Weller suddenly panics because he doesn’t know where she is (ugh my poor boy) but luckily he manages to take the exact right turn to find them (do you know how easy it is to get turned around in Venice?????  He’d have never found them) and he jumps onto Roman’s getaway boat which is badass, and after what seems like several minutes of an unpleasant upper-body workout he manages to pull himself up on the boat and attack Roman. Meanwhile Jane, who got left behind earlier, has managed to just about catch up to them despite having commandeered what appears to be the Italian version of a motor-pontoon.  Also Roman manages to keep his sunnies on throughout their fight which is pretty damn impressive considering that Weller has bodyslammed him a couple of times as well as punching him full on in the face more than once. But eh. Weller does manage to dislodge Roman's jacket as he gets literally kicked off the boat, though. Good thing Captain Jane and her trusty vessel aren't far behind, and pick him up. I like that she called him Weller; that’s right Jane, just because it’s your name now too doesn’t mean you can’t still call him that. Oooooh but rather than being grateful for the rescue, Weller is too busy being upset with Jane for ditching him, which he’s understandably just a tad sensitive about these days. Looks like these guys have still got a little bit to go in terms of getting their groove back. And while Jane is lamenting Roman’s escape, Weller shows her the phone from the pocket of Roman’s jacket, his voice all proud. Yeah, son, you did good.

Back at the lab, Stuart is still being antagonized by Rich, who I have to say pulls off those flowered shirts better than I would have believed possible. Though lbr, I gave up on trying not to be inexplicably attracted to Rich a long time ago. While they’re cracking the encrypted phone, Jeller go ahead with Roman’s plan to get rid of Jane’s bounty. Not that the munchkin is happy about it, of course, but Jane is determined to have her life back-- lbr, after getting to see Weller again after all this time, there’d be no way she could ever let him go again. While Weller’s super against the death-mimicking drug, it gets support from Stuart and Rich, the former in simply confirming that it does what Roman says it does, and the latter detailing his own uses for it which include faked-death border crossings and, of course, ‘some sex stuff’. Not sure I wanna hear the sex stories, but the border crossings one sure has me intrigued. The guys do bring up one catch: if she doesn’t have the antidote within 90 mins, she’ll actually die.  Weller is NOT down with that, but before he can even get past the opening statement of his list of all the reasons why this is a Bad Idea, Jane stabs herself in the leg with the needle. His face is the most hilarious thing, like ‘Aaaaand she did the thing. Of course she did the thing. Why do I even ever try to talk her out of the thing, she always just does it anyway.’ lol. But let’s not forget there, he could literally grab the antidote right out of that case and stab her with it right now, completely counteracting the drug’s effects and preventing the plan from being able to go ahead. But she begged him to do it for her-- for them-- and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her. Especially if it gives him the love of his life back. And come on, it’s not a true Jeller moment until one of them does something the other tells them not to, nearly dies, and is saved by the other, so…

In the fun bunker, the (now loosely defined) team is trying to figure out where they are (no clue), and why they were taken, and Reade immediately assumes it’s something to do with Zapata’s work at the CIA, and the two of them are immediately at each other’s throats about it before Patterson plays mediator, trying to get everyone to focus. On one hand I agree with Reade, bc the CIA is pretty shady and I don’t trust them, but Zapata’s probably right when she says that it must be about their time in the FBI since all three of them are here. However some Spanish-accented military dudes appear a moment later and tell them to break into a fancy safe or die, and hmmmm that is not quite what I expected. While Patterson assesses the crackability of the safe (fairly easy apparently, and dude how could I ever forget how much I love Patterson) Reade gets his wet-blanket on, and starts preaching about how they shouldn’t open it bc it’s a government safe and might have dangerous secrets inside etc, whereas Zapata is all “pshh, that’s a problem for another day. Today’s problem is not dying” which I fully support. And then they’re at it again (and not ‘at it’ in the sexy way, which in this moment would be uncomfortable for all kinds of reasons) but in the squabbly bickery way, but Patterson interrupts with some much needed truth bombs: Reade is mad at Zapata for leaving, Zapata’s mad at him for freezing her out after she left, and the team fell apart after Jeller left and they’re all still trying to deal with that loss. And ughhh everyone missed each other and they’re all unhappy in their separate lives and clearly the solution here is for everyone to come back to the team and stay together forever and never let Gero break them up ever again ugh. But anyhow, like all Patterson rants, this one results in everyone being like ‘sorry mom what do we need to do’ and ugh I’ve missed themmmmmm

Back in Venice, Weller is rolling a duffel bag with his estranged wife’s death-adjacent body inside. Act natural, Weller, because this would be a really awkward time to get stopped by the cops. Also sidenote, he’s rolling that bag like it doesn’t weigh much at all, which I'm going to pretend is just because he’s jacked and not because there’s actually nothing in the bag that they filmed with lol. Anyhow, the bag is now up on the altar in a church filled with bad guys, and time is running out before Jane needs the antidote. Of course the bounty guy is late. Thanks for my blood pressure issues, Blindspot. Also another sidenote, but the guy who greets him is totally a silver fox. Too bad he’s soon to be either arrested or dead. Finally his boss arrives-- he got caught up watching a glassblower, which tbh I completely understand, bc that kind of thing is awesome-- and then lolllll he listens with a stethoscope for like 2 seconds and then does a blood pressure and then declares Jane dead?? Um, no. As someone who has certified the deaths of many people in the last three years, and also interacted with a lot of death-adjacent people, let me tell you that a) a blood pressure is useless, b) he would need to listen for at LEAST two minutes with the steth, and c) there are several other simple checks he should have done that totally would have given Jane away.  But whatevs, his lack of any medical understanding totally works in our favour.  Weller is all “cool I love that she’s dead and that I’m getting all the moneys for it, hey can I have a sec with the body please?” but nope, the dude has his cronies ready to take her to the in-house crematorium (wow, talk about a one-stop shop) and Weller’s al ‘coolcoolcool’ *punches the dudes out and stabs Jane’s body right through the bag before being pulled away and having his ass handed to him*. And okay Jane would not have woken up instantly like that but DAMN if it doesn't look cool with her slowly emerging from the bag like an avenging angel (cool parallel with the pilot, of course) and then she’s all ‘how dare u hurt my man’, leading to a shot like in those cartoons where two characters are brawling inside a closed room or building and all you see is like the door bending outwards and clouds of dust puffing up and windows rattling etc, and then BAM BABY, JELLER IS BACK AND KICKING BUTT and also looking like they’re both a little turned on by it which is kind of awkward but at the same time I fully support it and Idk there’s just a lot of emotions going on rn

Rich excitedly confirms that Roman’s plan actually worked and Jane is now free, and ugh I like to think that it’s not just because he can’t believe it worked but more that he’s just really happy for them bc he ships them so much and it also means that they’re going to be coming home and basically I just  want the whole gang back together ugh. That might be a little difficult though, as Rich informs them of the not-so-good good news-- Roman sold the other three into slavery, but thankfully he’s freaking awesome (and knows it) because he’s managed to figure out where they were taken. Lol at Weller's “Ugh he’s worse than Patterson” hahahaha. Ugh I just LOVE THESE GUYS. And so the others are apparently being held by the Venezuelan government, and Rich tells Jeller where, but they can’t have any official help (Oh Stuart: “shouldn't we just call the president or something?” my sweet summer child) and so Keaton is there to hook them up with some of his contacts and goddammit why is hating him so damn hard. And awww I love that lil baby Stuart is getting to play with the big kids these days, and awww Hirst is determined to get their ‘friends’ back (not their ‘agents’ or their ‘team’) and ugh this FAMILYYYY. It’s becoming increasingly apparent that the original family of five has now been joined by the cool wine aunt, the awkward and often annoying but also kinda useful uncle, the wacky flamboyant cousin, and the shy young nerd cousin now added into the mix.

In the fun bunker, Patterson is casually cracking the safe while snacking on her MRE, while Reade whines about his own food and Zapata messes with him for entertainment. Ah, good times. Then Patterson opens the safe-- literally the others seem to be barely there for anything other than moral support-- and they realise that  the safe contains a government computer, probably with a bunch of dangerous secrets on it. Uh-oh. Before they can argue more about the merits of dying for the cause, though, the baddies arrive. They want Patterson to decrypt the computer which is gonna take a hella long time. Awww ‘we paid for the best computer specialist in the FBI’, and ughhh she really is. And then it turns out that Reade and Zapata are literally just there as incentive for her to get crackin’ or they’ll be killed. Eeeep. But our Patty Pat is a genius, and the baddies made the epic mistake of providing sustenance in the form of MREs. Basically if they use the hot packets from the food to turn the computer into a flashbang, they can distract the baddies long enough  to overpower them and escape. Ugh I’m so proud of my lil baby genius. And she makes Reade apologise to the food for badmouthing it hahaha. Man I have missed this lil team so much!!

Up in the sky, Jeller are rushing to save their buddies, but also having The Talk-- aka the ‘what are we now?’ talk, bc lbr Jane so desperately wants their life together back, both as a married couple and as kickass FBI agents, but she doesn’t know if she has the right to have it back or if it's even what he wants, and then he’s all ‘yep let’s be married again we can just sweep this past 18 months under the rug please I’m good with that let’s just do that’ and ugh Jane admits that leaving him and their life was the hardest thing she’d ever done, but-- and man does he feel the ‘but’-- she really found herself after she left him. Oh man, what a kick in the guts. I totally get what she’s saying-- it’s not that she doesn’t want to be with him, or that she can only truly be herself without him, it’s that the puppy-sitting life in backwater Colorado is just not for her (Well, duh). She did it once to make him happy, but she can’t go back to it again or she’ll go stir-crazy. Well, good thing these new tattoos have given them both the perfect excuse to go back to their lives of kicking ass in NYC! Poor Weller though, he doesn’t understand yet, and the way his voice gets a little choked up just kills me. Oh Weller, just because she discovered who she is as a person without you (bearing in mind that pretty much her entire life that she can remember, you’ve been there), doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you with all her heart!

Now Jeller are at the compound, about to search every building individually when the others save them a bunch of time by causing a hell of a ruckus (exploding computers, gunfire, all-round hell breaking loose-- you know, the usual) and so Jeller have to adjust their plans. In a big, kick-ass way. I love the three making their big escape and then seeing the tank a roll up and aim towards them and they’re all ‘shit alright you got us geez we surrender’ and then BAM, the tank destroys the bad guys’ vehicles and probably everyone’s eardrums as well. I just love the wtf moment that these three must have when Weller suddenly pops up out of the tank-- dad’s here guys! Time to go! And then they’re inside and mom is driving and they all probably think that they’re hallucinating from something in the Mexican Style chicken stew and ughhhh they must be so relieved and Jane literally drives over a car bc ain't nothing getting in the way of getting her family to safety. Also lol Patterson must have been raking it in with the app designing because she’s all ‘I gotta buy me one of these’ haha. I’d love to see her cruising around NYC in one hahaha. And then ugh Jeller are all in sync again , taking out the baddies following them and the team is half-confused, half-happy and they have so many questions and then Reade’s “We got time, this tank is slow as hell’ lolllll. Well he’s not wrong…. wonder how long it took for things to get awkward??

Aaaand the team is safely back at the NYO, and Jane is in the scanner again, and Keaton is there again for whatever reason-- oh, because he wants the CIA to take the tattoo cases, while Hirst is all ‘bish please” in her excellent southern accent. So lemme guess, this is about to be a joint task force… and yep, Reade is all ‘this is the most sensible option’ like he totally doesn’t just want Zapata back. Haha yeah Keaton, you get me on this. It’s nice to see Reade stepping up and going head to head with the big kids, though I still don’t think he’s ready to be in this position (Are we forgetting the whole Jones thing and the drug binge??). But whatevs. Reade goes to tell the team about the joint task force and they’re like yeah duh, we’re all already in’. Well, except Patterson, who is playing a little hard to get. Maybe she’s still struggling to deal with all the Sandstorm trauma? And then omg “Rich is gonna brief us in Stuart’s lab” was the perfect sentence to say right then to convince her to stay haha. Well played, Reade. Patterson is not happy at all about Rich being involved, though Reade defends him which feels kinda weird but I also like it. I wanna hear more about their interactions. Again, spin-off, anyone?? Weller is all ‘oh god please where is the briefing just give us the briefing’ so after a lil more Patterson/Rich bickering (ah how I’ve missed that), Stuart tells them what they already know-- lots of tattoos to crack, so they better get…. Cracking (*insert finger guns here*). Patterson is now all in, refusing to leave this to Rich and Stuart (“No offense Stuart” hahahaha), and Jane is in too, despite Hirst offering for her to be free if she wants. Aww, Hirst. You are a sweetie pie. And then Rich: “Backstreets back alright! Six best friends and Stuart!” And UGH YES. Give me all the Rich, and all the Patterson and the Stuart and the ughhhh all of it. I do love that all joking aside, Rich does very genuinely tell Jane it's nice to see her again. He loves his Jane and he would do anything for her ugh

Oooh Jeller in their old apartment, and he’s all unsure whether she really wants to be there with him and she makes it clear that there’s nowhere else she wants to be, and yaaaas my boy acknowledges that the move to Colorado really didn’t fit her and that she’d given up a lot of her own happiness and personal meaning just to make him happy. So now they just need to strike a balance, which is all she wants-- to be there with him and be happy and in luuuurve while also kicking butt and saving people.  And then ugh he pulls her ring out of his pocket and he’s been carrying it EVERY DAY since she left and he rushes to tell her that she doesn’t have to put it back on until she’s ready and ugh she takes it and kisses him and then lord save me from how husky her voice goes when she tells him she’s missed him so much and ughhhhh he’s missed her too and ugh my babies are about to have reunion sex on multiple surfaces in the house and I’m so happy for them. Damn Gero yet again you have managed to make the thought of 18 awful months completely disappear in the face of this excellence, and it’s all too easy to just let you make me forget, and ugh I want to stay upset about it but I just can’t. Damn it you crafty wizard, how have you gotten me so under your spell….

Lol Aunty Hirst checking in with Reade, seeing if he’s okay with all his fam coming back, but also warning him (and us) that none of these people are the same as they were two years ago. And to prove that point, uncle Keaton and Zapata are having their own, much shadier  little conference about one of the tattoos, one that clearly points to something related to either them or the CIA in general, but it’s something they’re both very familiar with and won’t let the others find out about. Oooh, secrets. Speaking of secrets, Rich and Patterson have apparently been interacting regularly over the last two years??? And before anyone goes there, NO, I  I don’t think their relationship is at all romantic or sexual. I think they’ve been business partners of a sort (probably with Boston as well, since he and Patterson kinda became buds) and I also think that Patterson has been secretly helping Rich help the FBI with their cases. But again, I want to hear ALL about whatever they’ve been up to bc ugh I love these two and their dynamic though I also kinda wanna give Rich a hug and tell Patterson to be nicer to her weirdo cousin haha. Oh wait, you thought we were done with the secrets???? Nope, Jane is looking unhappy and  hiding a bunch of passports (probably given to her by Keaton) away the moment Weller leaves, and he steps outside their (apparently-renovated) building and immediately encounters Roman, who basically blackmails him to help him with tattoo-related stuff or he’ll tell Jane about ‘what happened in Berlin’. Weller is agrees to help immediately, which kinda makes it seem like whatever happened in Berlin was really, really bad. And again NO IT WAS NOT SOMETHING ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL. Geez, people. Neither Jane nor Weller would have slept with anyone else during their separation. To think so would be to have no understanding of either of the characters, or their character growth. Far more likely Weller did something that would be considered illegal or amoral, like killing someone, or something. Personally I think he and Roman encountered each other in Berlin and had an altercation wherein Weller injured and very nearly killed Roman, and Roman only survived by pure luck? That feels like a thing he’d want to keep from Jane, that he nearly killed her only family? Plus then he would kind of ‘owe’ Roman as well,. But idk, maybe it was something even shadier. Guess we’ll find out….

And so okay, I admit it. You've won, Gero. You’ve done a ton of things that have upset me or that I object to on multiple levels, but try as I might I can’t escape from your web. Looks like I’m stuck with this show, which means you guys are stuck with me and my recaps...