#I stay because I'm waiting for a good argument as to why my life actually does matter

[z00r0p4]

Been progressively getting more depressed and weepy on a daily basis about the hopelessness and meaningless of my life n situation n just today realized "oh it's because I go back to school on monday" and I associate school with pain because the seats are always fucking horrible and I always have to do sooo much work and coordination with accommodations, and I have a 3 hour long class this semester that I have to take in order to graduate with my minor and I cannot sit almost anywhere for that fucking long given my health problems. So I'm going to have to probably talk to this professor and beg them to let me stream in-- which will probably not work. My spanish class is in a room with god awful seating. I have one class more than I usually do and even though its a 1 credit class it's still another hour I have to spend in pain.

So all that said, my brain is apparently so traumatized by how awful my pain has gotten in the last 2 years that it's basically triggered by just. school. Probably need some sort of cptsd diagnosis. And lots of therapy. idk guys. I hope I can actually make it to my graduation.

[dancingbirdie]

This request is really out of the blue but, i need I CRAVE i require a fic where tav and astarion finally find a cure for his vampirism (in dnd5 it can actually happen yay!) and he manages to see his reflection again and finally have his natural eye color again (blue bc he's prob a moon elf but I don't mind other colors too). The fangs can stay or not, idc, i just want my boy happy, in love, and cared for. Bonus points if there's cuddles too

OK first of all, thanks for this prompt!! Second, I had to break this up into two parts because I'm afraid of how unwieldy it would get otherwise. So see part 1 below. I'm actively writing part 2 and should have that posted within the next few days. Hope you enjoy!

UPDATE: Chapter 2 available here!

I Promised You (Chapter 1)

Rating: G

Pairing: Astarion x GN!reader

Word Count: 3.1K

Warnings/Tags: mentions of unconsciousness, cheeky banter, domestic life, post-events of BG3, potentially problematic levels of self-sacrifice by reader.

***

“All right. I think you’re ready,” Gale affirmed as he peered over your shoulder, analyzing your hand movements as you practiced the incantation. 

“You think? Shouldn’t we wait until you’re sure?” you replied, heavy skepticism coloring your tone. 

“I can’t give you my complete assurance because you haven’t actually cast the spell,” the wizard sighed. 

The two of you had had this argument many times over the past several months as you studied and practiced. And studied and practiced some more. The conclusion was always the same, but your anxiety always managed to convince you that a different outcome would be had if you just asked him again. 

Conjuration magic was one of the most difficult forms to master. Yes, you had specialized in it during your formative years, under the tutelage of several learned wizards across Faerûn, but this spell was perhaps the pinnacle of feats in conjuration. Only a handful of wizards could perform it. Thankfully Gale was among that number, which is why you had come to him for help.

“As I’ve said, this isn’t a spell you can just cast for practice runs,” he continued. “You have one chance. And if it works, the sheer power of it is undoubtedly going to knock you unconscious.” 

“I know, I know,” you grumbled. “I just… I need to be absolutely perfect. I have to do this. For him.” 

“Have you told him what you’re planning yet?” Gale prodded.

“No. Not yet. I didn’t want to get his hopes up. Or have him tell me how unlikely success will be. Not until I was absolutely sure I could do this.” 

“I see,” the wizard returned, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Well, tonight is as good a time to tell him as any. There’s nothing more I can teach you to prepare for this. You know the incantation by heart. You perform the gestures almost through muscle memory now. You’re ready.”

“I’m ready,” you repeated, as if saying the words would will it to be so. 

“Send me a missive if he wants to go through with this. I’ll come to the cottage and oversee the spell’s casting.”

“All right,” you nodded.

“It’s going to work. You have to believe it’s going to work,” Gale encouraged, meeting your eyes with a serious, stern sort of expression.

“It’s going to work,” you agreed. “It’s going to work.” 

***

It was dusk by the time you returned to the cottage. It was a modest home you shared with Astarion, situated just outside the city walls. It had a lovely view of the rolling hills that surrounded Baldur’s Gate, and proximity to the Chionthar River gave the air a refreshing, misty feel. Pastoral communities dotted the countryside with sheep and cattle grazing freely during the day, though they had returned to their stables long before your return.

Astarion was no fan of the bucolic lifestyle, as he was wont to remind you. But you both agreed that this living situation afforded him better meal prospects than the rats, cats and errant stray dogs that dwelled within the city limits. At least this way, he had more fulfilling options for food, since the livestock attracted their fair share of large predators. A mild, perpetual confusion charm that you cast kept the neighbors from questioning why – unlike their peers in neighboring villages and towns – their animals were never plagued by roving bears and panthers. 

Astarion was lounging listlessly in the bay window of the den when you entered your home, one leg dangling off the ledge of his reading nook while he carelessly flipped through a book. Probably one he had pilfered from Gale’s stockpile a few weeks ago, you surmised. There had been an uptick in the wizard’s grumbling about discrepancies in his library catalog of late. 

“Anything interesting?” you asked as you shrugged out of your traveler’s cloak and hung it on the coat rack by the door. 

“Ugh, hardly,” Astarion grouched. “Nothing but debunked theories and philosophies from bloated scholars who died a hundred years ago.”

“You’re going to have to return Gale’s books to him eventually, you know. He’s beginning to realize how many from his library are missing.”

“Haven’t the slightest clue what you’re referring to, darling,” he replied breezily.

“Of course, love,” you chuckled, planting a kiss on his forehead as you passed him by to make your way into the kitchen. 

“Care for a glass of wine?” you called.

“Mm, yes,” Astarion returned. “Red, please, dear.”

Uncorking the bottle and pouring the glasses gave you a brief moment to collect your thoughts. To steel your nerves for the conversation looming before you. Drawing a deep breath in and exhaling it slowly, you made your way back into the den and braced for the inevitable. 

“Darling, do you have a moment?” you asked as you offered Astarion his glass before taking a seat next to him. “I’d like to talk to you about something.”

“Gods, it must be serious,” he teased, straightening from his reclined pose to take the proffered glass and make room for you. “You like you’re about to be ill. Go on then, love, before you faint and spill this vintage all over the floor.”

“It is rather serious, in fact,” you began, clearing your throat that had suddenly become tight with nerves.  “I’ve waited to tell you until now, but I’ve been researching some more difficult conjuration magic with Gale the past few months…”

“Oh?” Astarion prompted as you paused. “For what purpose, darling? I thought you had already mastered the school of conjuration.”

“I have. But this is a more specialized form. More… niche, I guess one might say. And, well…” you trailed off again, hesitant.

“Go on,” he encouraged. 

“I’ve-been-researching-a-spell-that-cures-vampirism-and-I-think-I’ve-found-a-way,” you spat out all at once, the words tumbling into each other like a wagon train gone wild. 

Astarion met your eyes with a blank stare, seemingly forgetting that his one hand had been in the process of lifting the wine glass to his lips. 

“I beg your pardon?” he asked hoarsely.

You coughed to clear your throat. “What I mean to say is: I’ve been working with Gale for months now to learn a spell that can cure your vampirism. He and I believe I’m ready to perform it. If you would allow me to try, that is.”

“If this is your idea of a joke,” he murmured, a slight quiver in his voice. “Then I have to tell you, it’s absolutely not funny at all.”

“It’s not a joke!” you assured. “I swear to you, Astarion. It’s not a joke,” you continued, squeezing one of his hands in yours. 

He nodded absently, his gaze trained on your thumb as it soothed over the knuckles of his fingers.

“H-how?” he whispered finally. “How can you cure it? I’ve read every tome I could get my hands on for over two hundred years. Nothing, nothing, I’ve read has ever offered a solution.”

“Because this is a highly guarded spell. It’s only passed down through oral tradition among wizards who specialize in conjuration magic. Which is why I’ve needed Gale’s help,” you explained. “I broached the topic with him some time ago, told him how we were going to look for some way to cure your vampirism. Being a master of magicks himself, I thought he would be a good source of information for me to begin my research. I wasn’t even aware of the spell until he shared it with me. He’s been teaching me the mechanics of it since then. It’s been a difficult spell to master but–” 

“What’s the cost?” Astarion interjected suddenly, meeting your gaze with a new intensity.

“It will cost you nothing, obviously,” you retorted, disliking where the conversation was heading. 

Astarion huffed through his nose. A caustic, frustrated sort of sound. “Don’t play cute with me, darling. You know what I mean.”

“No. I don’t,” you hedged.

“What will the spell cost you,” he bit out through a clenched jaw. 

You bit your lip, hesitant to reply. Astarion’s gaze never wavered. 

Finally you sighed. Better to reveal the consequences of it all than attempt to hide the downsides from him. Even though they were negligible in your eyes, compared to the wonder that would be returning his elfhood to him, you knew he would resent being told only partial truths. You couldn’t fault him for it. You would feel the same, were the roles reversed. 

“It will permanently weaken me. There’s a small, very small, chance it could kill me if I perform it wrong,” you confessed.

“No,” Astarion responded bluntly, without a hint of hesitation. He rose from the bench and made to leave the room. As if the matter had been settled and it was time to crack on. 

“Wait! What do you mean, ‘no’?” you blurted. Jumping to your feet, you snatched at the sleeve of his nightshirt. 

He turned to peer at you with a haughty gaze, one eyebrow arched delicately. “Exactly that. No. You’re not risking your life on the off chance of this working.”

“But it’s not an off chance. It will work! And the likelihood of me dying is incredibly slim!” you protested.

“But the likelihood of you being ‘permanently weakened’ is essentially certain, yes?” 

You rolled your eyes. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as it sounds. And besides, I don’t mind. I want to do this, Astarion.”

He scoffed. “Have you gone absolutely mad? ‘It’s not as bad as it sounds.’ Do you even know what will actually happen to you afterwards?” he shot back angrily.

“No,” you admitted, a bit quieter. 

He deliberately widened his eyes at your response, crossing his arms across his chest as if to say See? My point proven. 

“But I know I can handle it! And I love you enough to try!” you retorted.

That appeared to be the wrong choice of words. You realized it immediately as his expression morphed from outright anger to something darker, icier.

“Well then, it seems we’re at an impasse, darling,” he growled. “Because I love you enough not to have you go through with this.” 

You opened your mouth to object once more, but he continued, ignoring you. 

“AND, since it is my body and my life we’re discussing, it means I have the final say on the matter. My answer is no.”

You had anticipated this conversation going many different ways. You thought you had prepared for the most likely scenarios. But, in all your pondering, you hadn’t seriously considered the possibility that Astarion would reject this opportunity outright. 

Your eyes welled with tears. Hot, angry, disconsolate tears. 

“Astarion,” you murmured, desperate. Angry though you both were, you couldn’t resist the urge to curl into his embrace. Gently, you pulled at his arms in an attempt to un-cross them. With a soft sigh, he allowed you to manipulate him so that you were pressed chest to chest. Your arms banded around his waist, locking him against you. Slowly, he raised his arms to mimic your stance, peering down at you.  

“Astarion, my darling, this is your chance. It’s the only chance we’ve found in over two years of searching. I know I can do it. And you can win it all back. I can help you. Let me do this,” you pleaded. 

“Darling, how could I ever ‘win it all back’ when there’s a possibility I could lose you forever? Or that you could be seriously harmed in the process?” he lifted a hand to cup your cheek, smiling sadly. “I would never forgive myself if you were harmed in an attempt to cure me.”

You closed your eyes, tears slipping freely down your cheeks. “Please. I know I can do this. Please let me do this. I want to do this for you.”

“Come, pup, no more tears. I’ve given you my answer,” he murmured, swiping a thumb across your cheekbones to catch each tear.

You opened your eyes to glare at him. “If the roles were reversed, would you want to try this for me?”

“Of course,” Astarion huffed. “But that’s obviously different, I –”

“WHY? Why is it different?” you cried, clutching him. 

“Because you’re worth it!” he implored, arms vibrating as though he were resisting the urge to shake sense into you. “Your soul is worth a thousand of mine! It’s not marred by death and torture and sacrilege. Can’t you see that? Don’t you see?”

“No, I don’t,” you argued obstinately. “Because you are worth it to me. Your soul is priceless to me. I love you. You’re the love of my life.”

Astarion said nothing, just stared at you with sad eyes. You couldn’t tell if his silence meant you were persuading him, but you couldn’t relent without giving at least one more desperate plea. 

“I promised you. Remember? After everything that happened, I promised you we would find a way for you to walk in the sun once more. I didn’t make that promise lightly. I want to do this for you.”

“Darling…” he murmured sadly, shaking his head. 

“Astarion, please,” you beseeched, shifting to clutch his face between both of your palms. “I’m literally begging you to let me try. Gale and I have been practicing for almost a year now. He wouldn’t tell me I was ready unless he was certain. I know I can do this. Please. Let me try.”

“Don’t you have any regard for your own life?” he whispered. “How is it that I’m more concerned for your well being than you are?” 

“Darling, all of us have the slightest potential of dying every single day we continue to breathe. Anything poses some risk to our lives. I’m telling you, the risk of me dying from this is the same as the risk I take casting any other magic.”

“But there’s still a permanent cost to doing this. Have you even asked Gale to elaborate on what that entails?” 

“No,” you admitted a bit sheepishly. “I didn’t really think about it.” 

Astarion rolled his eyes but planted a kiss against your forehead. “You’re ridiculous, you know.”

“I’m sorry that I was so ecstatic about finding a cure that I leapt straight into studying it!” you said defensively, although your tone lacked teeth. 

He chuckled and wrapped you in a tighter embrace, resting his cheek on the top of your head. The two of you stood like that for some time, arms wrapped around each other, lost in thought. 

After a while, Astarion cleared his throat. “I want us to speak to Gale. I want to know the full details, the consequences of a spell like this.”

You jerked your head up in surprise, staring at him with wide, elated eyes. 

“I’m not saying yes,” he clarified, attempting to tamp down your burgeoning excitement. “But I’m willing to hear more about this… possibility.”

A delighted squeal rocketed up your throat. Quick as a flash, you jumped to wrap your legs around his waist. Long used to your ebullient antics, Astarion caught you with a practiced ease. His arms banded under your thighs and across your lower back, squeezing gently. 

“I love you, you daft, feral thing,” he chuckled, nuzzling your cheek. 

***

“I would have gone over this months ago, had you afforded me the opportunity,” Gale had groused upon arriving at the cottage the following evening. The three of you shared a bottle of barrel-aged Callidyren while Astarion peppered the wizard with umpteen questions about the spell’s mechanics. To his credit, Gale managed to assuage Astarion’s concerns. At least for the most part. 

The permanent effects of casting the spell, you both learned, would diminish your inner well of magic, rendering you unable to cast as many spells as you currently could before resting for a longer period of time. Almost as though the cost of performing the spell would revert you back to the strength you had had as an apprentice so many years ago. You would still be powerful, capable of wielding even the most intricate of spells. But your endurance would be shorter, more concentrated. It was a price you were more than willing to pay. Even more so now that you had actually allowed Gale to describe the effects in detail. 

“I still can’t believe you didn’t press for more details,” Astarion grumbled. 

“It didn’t seem important at the time,” you sniffed, waving a hand dismissively. “Still doesn’t, in my opinion.”

“You know, in some schools of thought,” Astarion countered dryly, “people believe the difference between bravery and complete idiocy is so fine a line that it frequently gets crossed.”

“So I’ve heard,” you crooned. “But, alas, I’m nothing if not an incredibly adept fool in love.” 

Gale observed the two of you warily, as if uncertain whether this exchange constituted harmless domestic banter or an undercurrent of severe agitation. 

“Yes, well,” he interrupted awkwardly, “as I said before, you’re as ready as you will ever be to perform this magic. I’ll be here to supervise and intervene, if necessary, though I don’t think it will be.”

“Bully for us. Is there anything else we should be prepared for, if we’re to go through with this?” Astarion snapped. “Sudden onset sliminess? Gills? Frothing at the mouth?”

You winced. He was always his most discourteous self when he was afraid. Gale might not realize it, but you knew him well enough to tell when his rudeness was obfuscation.   

“Ahem,” Gale coughed, clearly affronted by the impertinent question. “No, nothing of that sort. But this spell is incredibly demanding on one’s body. It’s very likely they’ll fall unconscious once it’s been cast. The effect shouldn’t last for more than a few hours. Enough time for a proper rest.”  

“You failed to mention that yesterday,” Astarion said peevishly, glaring at you from across the dining table. 

“Because it’s the equivalent to me needing a good sleep after a tiring day,” you quipped. 

Gale winced. “It’s a bit more serious than that, I’d argue.”

“Thank you,” Astarion intoned. 

“Tsk. An inconvenience at worst. Nothing unmanageable,” you retorted. “So, what say you, darling? Are you willing to give this a try?”

Astarion’s glare shifted between you and Gale, studying you both. 

“And you both swear to me that all information is now disclosed, yes? No partial truths, no hidden side effects?”

“I swear,” the two of you responded in unison. You reached for Astarion’s hand across the table. 

“My darling, this will work. I’m going to be fine. And you’re going to be cured,” you smiled gently. “Please, trust me.”

He squeezed your hand, crimson eyes boring into your own. 

Finally, after a moment, he gave you a terse nod.

“All right. Let’s try,” he agreed.

[stancestanomaly]

Horse Riding lesson! 🐴

Wrote a short scene for this cause my mind wouldn't stop replaying it over and over while I worked this.

-

Struggling against the rag that bound his hands behind his back, he tried to ignore the chuckle from the man who put him in this position. "Stanley! Y'know this was not what I was referring to when I asked for your assistance when learning to ride a horse!"

"Aww, sug'r~" Stan's throaty purr sent a wave of heat up Ford's spine. "This is gonna help ya, you hafta learn to stay on yer mount if ya gonna be ridin' it."

"Then why must I be in your lap, instead of practicing on an actual horse? And why do you insist on chewing on that?"

"Becuz darlin' it's like chewing gum in a way." Stan pinched the wheat between his teeth. "And the last time you tried to ride a horse, you ended up in the horse's trough. Remember?"

"Don't remind me," Ford groaned as another chuckle tumbled from his brother. "But I don't see how your argument counters, the fact that I can't practice on a real horse."

"N' all honesty, I'm all the practice yur gonna need. Y'know I got all the horsepower." He ran his hands up Ford's thighs as he moved to give his butt a squeeze. "I mean, I know yur buns do~"

"St-Stanely," Ford gritted his teeth, as blood rushed across his face.

"Wha? Ain't like I'm lyin', I can still hear yur pretty voice singin' my name as we fucked n' the barn." Caressing his twin's sides as the memory replayed.

"And I still remember all the prude language that left your mouth too," Ford grumbled at the strong hands that danced along his trunk and ushered forth another wave of satisfying warmth.

"N' I still remember how disheveled yur hair was while your face was redder than that time ma got mad at us for playin' in mud after she just washed our clothes."

"I also remember dad chasing us because they were our good clothes too," he smiled as the sound of Stan's laughter rang in the air, like music to his ears. He listened to the tune a little longer before he cleared his throat. "So about my lesson, are you gonna help me or not?"

"Sure am darlin'," Stan spat out the wheat before he leaned up to capture his brother's lips. Stan strummed Ford's cords, drawing out lustful melodic moans as he stuck his tongue into Ford's mouth. Joining in on the song libidinous desires. He bucked his hips to usher out another chorus of bubbling lust between them.

Pausing their record, Stan drew back to get a look at Ford as he panted through closed eyes with a cherry-red bridge stretching across his face. Admiring how the sunset streaming through the widow panted his brother's features.

"I say we take this to the bedroom," Stan purred, tightening his hold on his brother. He stood up from the couch, tossing his brother over his shoulder. "Alrighty cowboy, let's go give ya that lesson~" Smacking his brother's butt as he sauntered to their room.

"St-Stanley, w-wait, this isn't what I was referring to!" He squirmed, as he was carried out of the den, up the stairs, and down the hall toward their room.

"Stanleeeyyy!" Ford shouted as the bedroom door was shut and locked behind them.

-

Had a ton of fun writing that, lol. This is my second time drawing ranch life/cowboy 30!stans. (Honestly, I should draw them more often. Because Stan's with that hair is doing something for me🥵.) The first time I drew them was two years ago for another set of Halloween stancest drawings I did. The drawings. I had liked this au idea so much that I wrote a fic about it but never actually finished it😅 So maybe I'll do that sometime soon... Anyway, have some ranch life stancest! 🧡🤎

[sapphicmsmarvel]

Modern!Azriel: "too much"

lol i’m projecting in this one. this is how my extended family has always made me feel so 🤷🏻‍♀️

tw: not eating due to anxiety.

-You kept Azriel hidden from your extended family for three years. 

-You truly did not have much association with them. They were kind but not loving towards you. 

-Your parents knew of him as well as the two cousins you were closest with that actually loved you. 

-About a year in, you and Azriel had the talk about your extended family. 

At first, Azriel was kind of hurt by it. He brought you around his family. His chosen and blood when he had to. 

-Your first major argument was about you keeping him away from your family. 

“Are you embarrassed by me?” His voice cracked. 

“What? No! This isn’t about you, Azriel.” You sighed. 

“Then what is it? Are you freaking out about commitment to something?” 

“I just don’t want to bring you around them!” You cried. 

“Why?” 

“It doesn’t matter.” You crossed your arms. 

“Yes it does! Clearly something is bothering you. I cannot rest until I know what it is, Y/N.” He sighed. “I feel like I’m back in high school and my girlfriend is embarrassed to be seen with me.” 

That’s when your tears broke. You didn’t cry often. It took a while before you felt safe enough to do so in front of him. 

“I just…” You wiped your eyes and sniffed. “I’m really scared to bring you around them because I don’t want one of the few good things in my life to be tainted by them.” 

His silence spurred you on. “I don’t want you to be chased away.” 

“Baby,” He sighed. He walked to where you were in the dining room and leaned against the table in front of you. His legs spread, he put his hands on that plush waist he loves so much, and pulled you towards him. “I don’t want to push you, I’m sorry my insecurity got the better of me. But, you do see where I'm coming from, yes?” 

You sniffed and nodded, “I’d feel the same. I’m sorry I didn’t communicate properly.” 

“You were scared.” He justified it for you. 

“So were you a few minutes ago.” You nudged his shoulder. “If you’re going to validate me, I'm going to validate you.” 

“Two people pleasers in a relationship huh?” He chuckled. 

“That’s why we’re working on communication.” You brought your hands up to his broad shoulders. “Can we talk about this tonight? I just need to organize my thoughts a bit before….” You struggled to find the right words. “Ugh let me start over.” You sighed. 

He couldn’t help his smile, his girl was trying so hard. “I want to be able to eloquently tell you what's going on. It’s not you, it’s not even me, well kind of since I’m not letting you around them. But, they are a big issue.” 

“Okay, I’ll order our favorite takeout and we can talk about it when we’re eating. Is 20 minutes enough to help you get your thoughts together?” 

“Yeah.” You smiled, he wasn’t judging you. He was accepting you. Your neurodivergency and the way your mind worked. He kissed your forehead and went off to order the food. He knew your order by heart. 

-So when you guys got your food, you began to tell the story. How you were never “one of them” despite growing up with them. You were always left out and kids were mean. Then you came out as queer, which didn’t help being left out. Everyone looked at you weird. 

He knew better than anyone how it felt to be left out and hurt by your blood relatives. Granted, completely different situations however both are valid situations. 

He assured you he wasn’t upset at you, he was upset for you. He then told you how he would wait patiently. A couple of times, you almost got enough courage to do it. But then chickened out and just stayed home with him. You never went to those gatherings without someone. To be frank, you preferred Azriel’s company. 

-So when you finally took the plunge it was terrifying. 

-It was your aunt's birthday, a week before thanksgiving. You told them about him, they were all shocked to say the least that you had a partner and had had one for three years. 

-Then you got the normal guilt trip of “why didn’t you say something sooner?” or  “why didn’t you bring him” 

-Not “what’d i do to make you feel unsafe telling me this?” But that’s besides the point. 

-So the next week, you brought him to thanksgiving. 

-Your family was shocked to say the least. 

-That the loudest, vulgar, weird person in their family got the quietest, kindest man. 

-Azriel knew how you felt about this part of the family. You had always felt left out, like you weren’t good enough. You were ostracized as a child from them because you were different. 

-You were the only cousin that wasn’t baptized. Which made you different enough. But you’d rather think for yourself and your parents raised you without religion so you could choose your own path. 

-You cussed, you had tattoos, piercings. You wore clothes you were comfortable in which meant yeah, sometimes you wore a tank top that showed a bit of boobs. You wore all black as well. Also you were the plus size family member and you were queer. So that didn’t help the “fitting in” aspect. 

-He wore a nice black henley and black jeans. As well as his boots. He wanted to make a nice impression even though you told him that he could show up naked and you wouldn’t care. 

-He would. He wasn’t modest but he’d rather not have his future in-laws seeing his ‘monster cock’ as you called it. 

-God, he genuinely loved your vulgarity. 

-He knew how nervous you were, he knew you’d barely eat anything just because of sheer anxiety. His goal was to make sure you ate some appetizers or something.  

-When you walked in, you could tell your family was just floored by him. He greeted everyone with the proper “Mr.” and “Mrs/Ms/Miss.” He shook everyone's hands, smiled at your baby cousins who knew nothing of the strange man but were comfortable enough to wave at him. 

The entire time, he had a hand on your waist. Showing he’s on your side. 

-You warned him that your family was going to eventually get him alone to talk to him about you to which he responded with “let them.” 

They weren’t pissing him off too much. He didn’t like the way some of them were around you. Like you were someone to avoid. When he knew that you were the safest person in the room to any stranger, let alone him. 

”I’m sure sometimes she can be overwhelming.” Your aunt said as if it was a fun little tidbit. But he knew it was a jab. 

If smiles could kill, Azriel’s could’ve maimed her. “Actually she’s perfect.” He let his guard down enough to look at you across the room with your cousins, a lovestruck look on his face. “If she’d let me, I’d marry her tomorrow.” 

Your family was clearly surprised. You had never brought anyone around and now you bring this guy for the first time and he’s ready to marry you? 

-Throughout the day, he kept trying to get you to come out of your shell a bit. 

-When he made you snort in laughter, he let out his first real smile all day. Let these assholes see how happy you make him. 

-Then he noticed your elderly family member glaring at your tattoos. She was caught by Azriel and had the decency to have a look on her face like “can you blame me?” To which he smiled and rolled up his sleeves to show off his ink. 

She had the decency to look embarrassed. 

-Your family quickly began to see a real side of you. One that’s comfortable in her space enough to lean on someone. That someone was Azriel.

-Shortly after the meal, you two left. Claiming you had to go to Azriel’s mothers. They didn’t need to know that you had thanksgiving with her and the whole chosen family the day before. 

-You were finally able to relax when the door shut to the car. You two began the drive back home to the city. 

-You snuggled into him over the center console. Your arm wrapped around his bicep as he drove. You sighed, completely content and he kissed your temple while keeping his eyes on the road. 

“Thank you.” You whispered. 

“What for?” 

“Just…loving me as I am.” 

“You should not feel the need to thank me for that.” He said. 

“Well I am. So deal with it.” You huffed, but you kissed his arm through his shirt. “You’re never embarrassed of me, you take me in stride and love me as if I’m…” You trailed off. “Irreplaceable.” 

“You are.” He said so earnestly that you almost weeped. You squeezed him tighter. “You make me feel so happy, so….loved. I’ve never felt so loved. Those people are fools for not seeing how incredible you are.” 

You felt your eyes getting misty. “You’re so getting head tonight.” You whispered. 

He let out a loud, sharp laugh of surprise. Yeah, he was in it forever. 

[ellecdc]

QUESTION

whats everyone’s comfort style? like after an argument or maybe R has conflict with a class— how’re they soothing their partner?

oooooooooh my gosh this makes me wanna cryyyyy

I think I'm gonna do this if it was an argument???

James:

I think he'd be just as close to tears as his partner

anxious and fidgety as he tries to figure out how to approach this now that tempers have settled

I think a mixture of cuddling and encouragements

tries to get you excited about something else [bribery? but in the good way lol "we'll have fun at Hogsmeade next weekend, yeah? we'll get Butterbeer - you like butterbeer"]

I think he'd be good at communicating and very emotionally intelligent (that's what having healthy and loving parents does to a person - can't relate)

Remus:

broody at first - I think he'd have a tendency to shut down after a fight because he'd feel like an arse for upsetting you

I feel like he might try to back track? like he'd start thinking "was what I was so worked up about really worth upsetting them like this?"

pet names, cuddles, asks if you wanna just go to bed early with him and stay in each others arms the rest of the night - he'd need physical contact with you

lots of apologies - feels like a monster for upsetting you, maybe worried you'll leave :(

Sirius:

I feel like he'd panic at first when he realizes he's upset you - like face drops and all the colour leaves his face as he sees your eyes well with tears

I think this would put him into a momentary state of fight or flight - negative emotions were dangerous growing up

cautious - gentleness, complete 180 from how heated the conversation had been because he's worried; he knows he can go too far and that his words cut deep...he is a Black after all

cuddles, kisses, tries to crack some jokes as he holds you

and then apologies

Regulus:

panics at first just like Sirius above

momentary state of fight or flight like Sirius above & for the same reasons

think he'd start feeling like a failure, like he can't get any aspect of his life right

caution - I think he'd be afraid how you'd react when upset (again, negative emotions = danger to Black's)

lots of eye contact, hand holding, praise, bribery (I'll buy you this, I'll buy you that)

he may not actually buy you that (okay he will, but) he said it mostly to crack a smile out of you

Barty:

panic, "nononono, whoa, hang on, wait, hang on, what's with the tears? what? hang on"

immediately "okay wait stop, no, don't cry. You're right, I'm sorry. You were right. Fuck I'm such a wanker."

gathers you up in his arms and straight up will not let you go for the rest of the day/night - basically barks at anyone who tries to approach the two of you during this time

gets anything you need: thirsty? you stay put, he'll get you water. Hungry? he'll take a quick jaunt to the kitchens (i.e., acts of service)

I think he might cry about it later because he feels guilty.....and the roles will need to be reversed.

Lily:

tbh I see her being stubborn about it - she's rarely wrong and she's not going to start now

except....except you look so hurt and dejected; was that really right? and was it worth being right when you looked like that?

it would feel fundamentally wrong

she'd want to talk it out - have a full blown conversation about what happened, why it happened, how it could have gone differently and how you two will navigate things going further

throughout the entire conversation though she'd be holding your hand and rubbing soothing circles on it and forcing you to make eye contact with her so you know she's being sincere

she might suggest getting ice cream or something after as a treat lol

[georgiapeach30513]

Peach! Mrs. Pasta here...checking in for the second time in a few days!

Normally I just lurk in and smile to myself when I see your posts and banters with your followers. But tonight I just couldn't resist...

Ramen, bless him, is getting really good at the non-specific, vague-turnaround, deflective answers to personal questions! I'm impressed.

Also...Nobody keeps their hands more to themselves than Ramen does when he's around a lot of salty things. Is he on a low-sodium diet? Is that why he exercises such great self-control when it comes to these things? TBF, he's very gentlemanly when it comes to being around women, especially costars/colleagues.

I can see (most) people on here are either tired, upset, tired, over it, or a combination of both. I can understand that, especially for the mods that run these blogs. I notice that for a lot of people, separation of professional and personal for their favorite celebrity can be a difficult task. I don't blame anyone for feeling that way, it can be hard to "not think about THAT" when you just want to enjoy "THIS". I will say this though.

Something I have found time and again to be true, is that IF something/someone/someplace is meant for you, things will fall into place. If something is NOT meant for you, no matter what you do, things tend to fall apart. You can try and put it back together, but then something else falls. This has happened to me personally recently, where I was in a situation where I wanted to make something work because I thought I had no other choice and I didn't really want to rock the boat further and go searching for something else. Unfortunately, the more I tried, the more I compromised and kept on staying, the worse it got. I'd fix one thing, another would break. I'd get over one hurdle, another inconvenience would pop up. Finally, I decided to take matters in my own hands and started actually listening to what the universe was trying to guide me towards. It was very hard for me to do this, as I'm more of a logical/rational person, than a spiritual one (I don't really like reading signs or feeling energies to tell me what to do)...But I tried a different approach, and started asking the universe, "If this isn't right, what should I do?" And I would listen and wait, and then tangible things would happen, and then I started making different decisions and taking different approaches. Almost immediately, things started changing for the better. I'm in a much better place now (figuratively and literally).

Just some food for thought: Let things play out. They will. And hindsight is always 20/20. Think about it. I believe Anne's blog has a library that can be helpful for those interested. If all else fails, keep coming to Jen's blog where she posts stories, baking, and general hilarity to keep everyone's spirits up. You are truly a beautiful soul, Miss GeorgiaPeach! <3

Mrs. Pasta! Welcome back. Clearly, your presence has been much needed this past week. Which I do say that there is a reason one shouldn’t consume too much sodium. I suppose were all bloated, and now need to fast.

Ramen is quite smart. He’s playing it coy and vague, non-definite answers. He’s doing good, despite a quick facial change with some questions. It’s funny to watch.

For someone that is quite a gentleman and claims to love PDA his hands do seem quite to himself. But it is a family movie after all, wouldn’t want to be too obvious, I suppose.

I think a lot of people are tired, and more so tired of ongoing arguments that suck the life out of the fandom, much like an overly salted diet. So maybe it’s just the influx of salt that has everyone red in the face? But this is why I implore anyone to curate the space that you want. Filter tags, block blogs, unfollow blogs, create the space that you watch to see with personalities that jive well with your own.

The universe is quite a tricky lady. She usually makes way for things that are for you. Usually when you try to fit a square peg in a round hole, you’re met with resistance. You can sit there, and smile you’re doing it, but others around you will eventually be able to see that you are in fact creating a bigger problem with an impossible task. I’m glad you were able to get to a better place once you listened, and were aware that what you’re forcing isn’t for you.

I do think that hindsight is 20/20. There always seems to be something poking around that pops up at the last minute. Eventually things either fall into place, or you’ve created a big mess. @anneslibrary is a great well of information. And of course @annislittleshopofhorrors herself is a peach in her own right. You are a beautiful soul from the inside out as well, Mrs. Pasta. Take care, and never feel afraid to pop on by when you can.

[joyswonderland1108]

Drama. Drama everywhere.

Hello Loves, hope you are all doing okay and having a good life.

Quite honestly i was not going to talk about this because i was trying to stay drama-free for the longest time as i've been busy with uni but also wanted a bit of a break from all the bullshit while i continue to support, appreciate and wait for our boys peacefully.

My reactions for this situation were :

This shit is funny af because here we go again making a scene out of basically nothing.

As much as the situation is funny it is also unfunny when we're looking at the whole scene from different angles.

So to begin we all know why this shit is funny, same story, different day. People will continuously feel pressed about Jimin or Junkook or Jimin AND Jungkook, people always have this obsession of bringing down their bond because for some reason people can't even accept them as two bandmates, it HAS to be two strangers or nothing to them.

The whole "we do not support content that has shipping material" argument is silly to me because darling, if you see member X with member Z doing something totally normal that anyone can do and can still call it "shipping material" that's a you problem, you must be having serious untreated problems and should seek help from a therapist ASAP.

To think that "Tteokbokki by JK" caused so much fire and for what? We've all been knew that the members have been eating together many times before and it wouldn't be the first time that a member would've cooked something that was appreciated by other members. We were even able to see through the moments the boys decided to share with us that Jungkook did in fact cook for Jimin and if anything to me whether it was Jimin who said it or any other member, picking the Tteokbokki by JK as his favourite dish, that to me at least is a really good praise for JK because this could only mean his Tteokbokki is a banger!!

Now moving on to why it is also unfunny and i'm not even going to get into the details that we talk about every single time about how both Jimin and JK get unnecessary hate but i'm going to talk more about the fans.

We should all keep in mind that stan accounts are run by actual people not bots, so this whole thing about making a big deal out of a very small thing and making up lies to justify this hate is absolutely mental. People are receiving death threats through their dms, they're being lied about, they're being doxxed and basically their lives could be in danger and over what? Childish behaviors that are not assumed.

What irks me is those with big platforms who can't bother to do things correctly, and i'm not saying they should not do any mistakes, we're human we do make mistakes and it's okay but what's not okay is knowing damn well we are wrong and not apologizing for it, being able to fix it and not even try but instead proceeding to block the people they were wrong about.

I don't want anyone to tell me that those people behind those big accounts are not responsible, when you have a certain amount of followers you become responsible of the behavior they show after they followed YOUR advise. Like any influencer on the internet, they are responsible for their audience, as the word itself is "influence" which means that the behavior, decisions, actions, etc.. of the audience can be diverted by this person.

Seeing how these big accounts caused a lot of damage to many people over false information that they did not bother to fact check before but even worse didn't even think about making a follow up post apologizing not only for the misinformation but also to the people who have been impacted by it, this says a lot about what kind of people they are and the type of values they grew up with. Because those accounts are owned by real people too, which means that the posts are also influenced by their personality and values, knowing damn well that because of YOU people are being sent death threats and not even a simple "Sorry"?

It is quite sad actually because we're seeing fewer and fewer big accounts in this fandom being completely honest and unproblematic. Ship whoever you want, stan whoever you want, heck if you want to be a solo go ahead no one is stopping you as long as there is no disrespect out there, as long as there are limits, literally no one gives a fuck what you chose to do or believe in.

A this point i feel like i used up all of my energy in writing this post and if i go any longer it would no longer make sense so i'm stopping here. Please, let's do better for our boys, i know there's like a whole year for us to wait for all of them to be together again but i swear a year is not as long as you think it is, so in the meantime please let's work hard for them, if we can't be present on social media as in actively posting and all that's fine but at least let's be supportive and let them know that we did NOT forget them and we are still here for them, we still love them and we will continue to do so.

With that being said, take care of yourselves and have a very nice day.

[veintrry]

what are we?

wanderer x gn!reader, could be a modern au, angst & fluff, he's scared of trusting his 'heart'.

an: i had a dream he asked this (he asked more but I couldn't remember) and it was like a twitter back and fourth😭

ac: @/syea-say on tmblr | @/syea_say on twt & ig

"What kind of relationship do we have?"

The question came abruptly, bringing the silence to an end. You noticed beforehand that it seemed like something was on his mind, he appeared to be elsewhere in his mind, pondering deeply. Is this what that was about?

He doesn't wait for you to answer, not yet, he continues,

"Love always ends in disappointment." He turns to face you properly, a stoic look in his eyes, his lips pressed into a line. "You're a mortal too, so what's the point of pursing something like this when it'll come to an end anyways?"

He was right to say that. I mean, you are a mortal, you have an expiration date, so does everyone, but to you and the majority of others it's normal, because it's something you learn to live with an accept.

"Everything ends at some point, you know there's not much to be done about that. We can only make good of what we have now."

"That's such a boring answer." He scrutinises you, his brows furrowing. "You know that's not what I want to hear."

You stare back at him, quiet as you think of what to say. You could easily just tell him that you won't leave him, that you'll never allow that to happen. But you can't make such a huge promise, if you break it, it would feel like a lie. You don't want to lie to him, but you don't want to disappoint him.

"There is no real point." You turn your head to look elsewhere, opting to view the scenery than see his face scrunch up. You didn't want whatever reaction he had to offer you, not when you weren't sure if the reception would be good.

"Do you think I do things because they'll last?" You crouch down to the plants nearby, touching their tips with your finger. "Nothing lasts. Everything ends." Life was no different than a leaf, but what defined it was not the tree that beared it nor it's kind but rather how far it travelled, how big it's world was. "But if I just did nothing my entire life and waited for that end to come it would've been no different from the beginning."

"What the hell are you trying to say?" The wanderer crosses his arms. He doesn't want anything complicated right now, each answer that isn't what he wants to hear sounds more like the opposite; Like you don't want to be here, with him.

Turning your head up at him, he was starting to bother you with his unspoken persistence for you to just say what he wanted you to and you began speaking directly, "I'm saying that the only reason life is considered to have an end is based on if you actually do something during it." You stayed quiet for a bit before letting out a heavy breath after some contemplation. "I don't want to do nothing." It didn't matter how many years passed, how old you are or how weak you are. If you still have time then you might as well live in it.

"Kuni, you might have existed a long time but have you properly lived? You act so humane and yet you deny any internal ties to humanity. Isn't it more like you're using my mortality as an excuse to forbid yourself from acknowledging your own denials?"

That, that was most definitely the last thing he wanted to hear. You having said you can't be here with him would have been bad, but somehow this was worse because he had his reality forced infront of him. It was humiliating in a way, to be exposed when you were always bare. You can see his face growing frustrated, he seemed as though he was trying to bite his tongue but you might've struck a nerve. "An excuse?" A degrading laugh erupted from his throat, "Are you serious? Why would I need an excuse? I don't need to be human in the first place, this has nothing to do with that. You're the one making up things and avoiding giving me an answer."

You were on the brink of leading to an argument and even you couldnt keep your head cool. You stand up in defense as you shoot back. "I'm not avoiding anything. I'll stay with you for as long as my lifespan allows it, but I cannot and will not tell you that I will stay forever."

There was an aching silence that followed. As though this was concrete, like this was just shattering. You didn't know what it was breaking, you didn't know if it was your relationship or him, but you had to try and fix it before it worsens.

"Kuni, I love you, I want you to be happy, not just now but onwards as well." Your gaze falls onto his hands. You want to reach out, but you cant bring yourself to out of fear he'd deny you. You know he might want you to, as a sign of.. anything, but you can't. "I don't want you to rely on me, I want you to be capable of accepting yourself and finding comfort within who you are."

"Well then, ...Who am I?" The wanderers head stays stuck to the ground as if if he keeps his sights on it it would open up and just, do something, swallow him, let him forget this, forget everything, Bury him deep in the dirt and have the roots of all life suffocate him. "What?"

"You said within who I am, so, who am I?"

You didn’t want to do this a second time, "Kuni-"

"Please," He pauses, releasing a shaky breath from the confines of his chest. "just answer."

"You're who you say you are. I won't define you."

He latches onto your wrist, pulling you to him, underneath his hat as his head beckons upwards and you finally get to see his face rid of that anger. Instead, it is replaced with a pleading look, almost desperate. "I want you to,"

"I need you to do it. I don't know how else I am meant to do it. I don't know who I am. I wasn't meant to have an identity, I'm not like you, I'm not a human." In a way, admitting that was a painful thing. No matter how alike to humans he was, he wasn't one. "You were made, I was built. You breathe the moment you are born, I taught myself to." The more he spoke you felt like he was trying to implement this difference into your mind, that if you couldn't promise him forever you should be irked by him.

"We are different, but you are still a person to me. Do you think that I've ever seen you as anything else? Do you think I want to leave you alone? I care for you, I do so much that it kills me. And I hate how if you asked something of me I'd give it to you so easily, but not this. I won't lie to you." It would've been an odd thing for you to say, but to you, the wanderer made you feel alive, it made all the previous events of your life pale in comparison, and you truly, felt alive. You don't know why but with this emotion came care and you want to continue to value him, to love him, even when you've passed.

"Our relationship doesn't matter, you just need to know that I love you." You yank his wrist and pull him into you as your other arm slips under his and around his back, holding him tightly as you rest your head in the coup of his neck. "I love you, Kuni. I love you, I love you, I love you." And with each time you repeated it you lifted your head to his neck, planting small kisses, hoping he can feel it, what you do.

The wanderer merely stood there, paralysed. He still wants the unreal fantasy of eternity. But, he finds himself caving to the warmth of what you were offering despite how bittersweet it. It was fulfilling despite the fact it reflects the temporary time you two had, but he no longer found his mind wandering off to then, to when you'd slip away from him. He could feel you. Hands slither to your back, pulling you deeper into him, so deep till there was no space between you two but he still wanted more. He wanted to be with you, just as one, to know all of you. And he was worried he wouldn't have enough time for that. But just for now, for this moment, he wants to listen to your voice, to feel your body temperature, and rest.

He simply leans in, and kisses your forehead, before tilting his head onto yours. This is fine, this is okay. He can live with this, for as long as he can have it.

[galraluver]

Royal Greetings my love,

Your fics are a work of art, love it!! May I request something for Kolivan?

I think most galrans believe in love at first sight (like Zarkons brain was drowned in pink glitter when he saw Honerva for the first time) and what if Kolivan had this moment as well with (Female) Blade!Reader when he saw her the fist time without her mask on a mission (aka. the best time to fall in love with someone)?

If you're finding some time to write that scenario/headcanon: Take all the time you need honey, i know it's tough writing requests for others (and yours are so good and nice to read on top of that!)

You're doing great, thank you for everything!

- Fürstin Lya

I'm glad that you like my fics so much 🥰 I only wish that I had more time to write. Of course I can; this is a super cute idea 💖

I appreciate you being so patient with me. Without further ado, here it is 💕

_________________________________________

(Y/n) was just the average Marmoran operative; she was trained by Krolia and Antok made her an official member after her trials because Kolivan had been away at the time, so Kolivan had never seen her face before. She'd been out on missions with Kolivan many times and over time she developed a little crush on her leader, unfortunately as far as she was aware he wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with anyone. The only people who knew about her crush on Kolivan were her close friends and Ulaz; Ulaz had a knack for knowing when someone was in love with someone else, even when they never actually told him. (Y/n) did her best to prove herself to Kolivan by taking only the most dangerous missions when they came up and she was successful with all of them, luckily the worst that happened to her during one mission in particular was that she almost lost her left arm.

Kolivan was aware of who (Y/n) was despite having never seen her face and he was very impressed by her success rate; he would eventually like to personally meet her on a more casual level. When he, Antok and (Y/n) went with Allura to galra central command it was (Y/n) who saved Antok’s life, putting herself in danger so that he wouldn't be killed. It was then that Kolivan made up his mind that he wanted to meet (Y/n) face to face as soon as they had time. After the battle at central command, Antok, (Y/n) and Thace had to stay in three of the castle's healing pods, although since (Y/n) wasn't too badly injured she was only asleep for about a day. Kolivan and Ulaz remained at the castle, waiting for their comrades to finish healing; right before (Y/n) was deemed healed Kolivan was in the lounge with the paladins.

“Wait, so you've never even seen (Y/n's) face? And you like her?” Lance asked Kolivan after he explained how he knew the young galran woman, dumbfounded that the Marmoran leader liked someone despite never actually seeing her face before.

“I never said that I held affection for her.” Kolivan corrected the blue paladin, feeling a little flustered.

“You didn't have to, I can tell when someone really likes someone else. That's why they call me the doctor of love.” Lance responded, bragging about his special gift.

“Lance, no one calls you that.” Keith responded flatly, hoping that Kolivan wouldn't take Lance seriously.

Lance gawked at Keith, immediately getting into an argument with the slightly older boy who always had to ruin his fun. Keith didn't see it as ruining Lance's fun, he just preferred to be realistic. Kolivan couldn't believe that mere children were able to fight in a ten-thousand year war and have some degree of success; Shiro had originally whipped them into shape, but without him around then Kolivan feared that team Voltron would fall apart. In the meantime, (Y/n) had come out of the healing pod she'd been staying in and Ulaz decided to go get Kolivan after he gave her a check-up just to make sure she was alright. Keith and Lance stopped arguing when Ulaz entered the lounge, listening as he told Kolivan that (Y/n) was ready.

“Go get her!” Lance said as he cheered Kolivan on, hoping that the older man would finally meet the woman of his dreams.

“Lance!” The other three paladins chided their friend in sync, each of them feeling a little embarrassed from the way he acted around Kolivan.

Kolivan wasn't expecting Lance to cheer him on when he didn't even have romantic tendencies towards (Y/n), he viewed her as his subordinate and nothing more because they were at war and there was no time for romance. Subconsciously he'd taken a slight interest in her, but consciously he'd convinced himself that he didn't see (Y/n) as a potential romantic partner. On the way to the infirmary Ulaz could tell that his leader was anxious and a little excited, and after talking to (Y/n) he knew she was really excited to finally have a little one-on-one time with Kolivan. When they arrived at their destination Ulaz left so he could give them some privacy, knowing that everything would go well between his friend and his leader. As soon as the door slid open and Kolivan saw (Y/n's) face he was awestruck; he just stood there for a moment, taking in her beauty while she looked at him with confusion, he wasn't expecting one of his most talented operatives to look so beautiful.

“You must be (Y/n).” Kolivan managed to choke out, feeling dizzy and lightheaded as he walked over to her; he felt embarrassed for not being able to speak clearly, it was the first time it happened and he wasn't sure how to handle being in the presence of such a fine young woman.

“That's me. Leader, are you feeling alright?” (Y/n) answered professionally prior to voicing her concern for him; she never thought that she would see the day when Kolivan got flustered, she thought it was really cute.

Before he saw (Y/n) without her mask Kolivan convinced himself that he could never fall in love with her, that changed as soon as he saw her without the hood and the mask of her uniform in the way. All he could do was stand there with his mouth slightly agape, staring at her face; if he was in one of those memes Regris had shown him, then he was sure that there would have been tiny beating hearts all around him. (Y/n) was a patient woman and she knew that Kolivan needed a moment to regain his composure; she didn't necessarily believe she was beautiful, but after breathing in his pheromones she could easily tell that he really liked what he saw.

“I just wanted to tell you that you did well yesterday, not everyone would save their superior in such a dangerous situation.” Kolivan said once his brain started working again, feeling the need to say something.

“I had to, he's one of us. Now that we have some time to recover from the mission, I would like to sit next to you during dinner this evening, if that's alright with you.” (Y/n) responded shyly, hoping to finally get to know her leader better, perhaps on a more personal level if he were to allow it.

“I would like that very much. But if you'll temporarily pardon me, I have something important to go discuss with Ulaz. I look forward to seeing you later.” Kolivan said before he excused himself, briefly smiling at (Y/n) on his way out of the infirmary.

(Y/n) reciprocated the smile and felt giddy; she assumed that he wanted to discuss Antok and Thace's health with Ulaz, although she felt giddy about sitting next to him at dinner. Since she felt better she decided to go to her temporary bedroom so that she could rest and get herself ready; there were a few hours left before dinner, and the young woman decided to wash up before dinnertime. While (Y/n) got herself ready for dinner, Kolivan went to go talk to Ulaz who was a known hopeless romantic, if anyone could give him love advice then it would be Ulaz. Just thinking about (Y/n) made him feel nervous because he'd never truly been in love before, but he wanted to get to know her better and with the possibility of a safer universe he was ready to open himself up to her and give love a chance. Until dinnertime, he and (Y/n) would get themselves ready for what would be the start to the rest of their lives together.

[canirove]

In The Name of Love | Chapter 19

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Masterlist

"How long until you arrive?" Pedri asks.

"5 minutes according to the gps."

"Are you ready?"

"To spend the weekend celebrating that my ex boyfriend is marrying a woman I hate? I'm ecstatic" I reply.

"Lucky you, you have me" Ferran smiles.

"Will you take care of her?" Pedri asks him.

"I will" Ferran says, quickly looking at my phone's screen and then back at the road.

"What was that?" I laugh.

"Uh?"

"That look you two just shared. Is that some bro code or something?"

"What?" Pedri says.

"Yeah… Something only you two understand."

"It was just a look of I will take care of your girlfriend so she doesn't do anything stupid like running away or killing the bride" Ferran says.

"Why would I run away?"

"Love that you are asking that instead of why would you kill the bride" Pedri laughs.

"I have reasons to do that. But running away?"

"That's what you did during their engagement party."

"Because we had had something like an argument and you were all I could think about."

"Awww, Val" Pedri smiles.

"Guys, please don't get cheesy while I'm present" Ferran says. He tries to make it sound as a joke, but I've noticed the way his grip on the steering wheel has tightened.

"Anyway, we are almost there. I will call you later or tomorrow morning, ok?" 

"Yeah, sure. Enjoy tonight's party or whatever they are doing" Pedri says.

"White party they've called it. So original" I scoff.

"Try to enjoy it, Val. You too, Ferran."

"Thanks, bro" he says.

"And again, don't do anything stupid. That goes for both of you."

"Yes, mum" Ferran and I say at the same time before starting to laugh.

"And then I am the kid" Pedri sighs, rolling his eyes.

"Yes. My favourite one" I smile.

"I love you, Val" Pedri smiles back.

"I love you too" I say before hanging up.

"So…" Ferran says.

"So."

"Ready to fake again that I'm your boyfriend?"

"Are you?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" he chuckles. "I said yes to this, didn't I?"

"I know, but…"

"Holy shit."

"What? What happened?"

"Val, are you sure this is the right address?"

"Yes. Why… Oh, wow" I say when I look at the road. At the end of it, there is a… palace? A castle? Both? I had seen photos of the venue online, but it was nothing compared to seeing it in real life.

"I feel like I'm going to have to call you my lady during our stay" Ferran laughs. "My Lady Valeria."

"Lord Ferran actually sounds like the name of someone who would have lived in a place like this" I chuckle.

"See? I can be posh too!"

"More like royal."

"That's cooler if you ask me. So, for the rest of the weekend, you may address me as Lord Ferran Torres" he says, straightening his back.

"Yes, my lord" I laugh, his weird faces and poses making me relax and forget about what is ahead of us. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"It feels wrong, you know? Throwing a white party in a freaking castle…" Ferran says from the bathroom. "We should be dressing as kings and queens, not like this. I've always wanted to try on those puffy shorts men used to wear."

"Puffy shorts?" I chuckle while putting on my shoes.

"Yes. The ones they wore with white tights."

"Maybe for your next birthday you should throw a party where people have to dress like that and make your dream come true."

"Maybe I should, yes" he says from the bathroom's door. When I look up, I see him leaning against the door frame like Pedri always does, his arms crossed over his chest. But it doesn't have the same effect on me. Not even when I catch him checking me out as I stand up.

"White suits you, tho."

"That isn't going to work, Val" Ferran laughs.

"What won't?"

"Flattering me. I'm not signing for Real Madrid even if white looks good on me" he smirks.

"Who says I want you on my team?" I tease him.

"Yeah, you prefer having me close to you" he says, slowly walking towards me and closing the space between us.

"Pedri" I blurt out. "I haven't called him and I told him… I should…"

"You should, yes. I'll wait outside" Ferran says, his voice sounding different. Cold. 

The moment he leaves the room, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. 

We are off to a great start.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I envy you so much Val… He is yummy."

"He is what?" I laugh.

"Yummy" my friend Alicia says. "Where did you find him?"

"I believe you can usually spot him at the Camp Nou" Sara chuckles. The two of them, Silvia and I, met when we were just 6, and we have been part of the same group of friends with Marc and some other boys since then. Though since he and I broke up, we haven't seen each other as often as we would like to. 

"I meant how did they meet" Alicia says, rolling her eyes. "You've kept him hidden from us, Val. Though I get it. I totally get it" she says, looking at Ferran from head to toe for the millionth time while he chats with some of the boys.

"I was on a night out with Silvia and we just met" I shrug.

"Just like that?"

"He offered to buy her a drink and 5 minutes later they were making out. What?" Silvia laughs when I give her a murderous look.

"It's ok, Val. I would have done the same" Alicia sighs. 

"Did you know who he was?" Sara asks me.

"Nope. He had just moved from Manchester, I wasn't familiar with him yet" I tell her. That was the story we had decided to tell everyone, a mix of how I met Pedri and a few lies here and there. 

"The sex is the best you've ever had, isn't it?" Alicia suddenly says.

"Careful there" Sara chuckles when I almost choke with my drink.

"I'll take that as a yes. He is young and a professional athlete, I'm sure he lasts longer than the average guy. And he definitely knows what he is doing, doesn't he?" Alicia smirks. "Just look at you, Val. You look hotter than ever!"

"Yeah, just look at the colour of her cheeks" Sara laughs.

"Urgh, ignore her" Alicia says, giving her a little push. "You've always looked great, don't get me wrong. But you've never looked this good, Val. You are glowing!" 

"And when you walked in, I saw a few guys looking at you" Sara adds.

"They probably were looking at Ferran because they recognised him" I say.

"No, they weren't. They were checking you out. So if I was him, I would not leave your side just in case." 

"And if I were you, I wouldn't leave his either" Alicia says, her eyes fixed on Ferran once again while taking a sip from her drink.

"Girls!"

"Oh, dear" I whisper when I hear Isabel's voice.

"Aww, girls. It is so nice seeing you here!" she says, hugging Alicia, Sara and Silvia. "Hello, Valeria."

"Hi" I reply.

"Congratulations, Isa!" Sara says, trying to lighten up the mood. "Are you nervous about tomorrow?"

"Where is he?" Isabel asks me, completely ignoring her.

"Who?"

"That boyfriend of yours."

"Right here" Ferran says as he shows up next to me, putting his arm around my waist and kissing my cheek. Before the party we had agreed about the arm, but not the kiss. "Isabel, right? It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Congratulations" he says with his best smile, taking her hand and kissing it, his eyes fixed on hers. He is giving her his fucker look as Pedri, Eric and Gavi call it, the one that gets him the girl 9 times out of 10.

"Hi" Isabel giggles, clearing her throat to try and hide it. But we have heard it. All of us have. Ferran's charm has worked on her too. "I thought you wouldn't be able to come and poor Valeria would be all alone" she says, back to her usual self.

"Almost, but you chose the perfect weekend to get married. Just after the preseason ended and before the season starts" he smiles.

"Ready to kick Real Madrid's ass?" Sara asks him before looking at me.

"She will kick my ass if we dare to win them" Ferran laughs. "Won't you, Val?"

"You will be sleeping on the sofa for a month, yes" I reply.

"If that's the case, my bed is very comfortable" Alicia smirks.

"Ali!" Sara laughs.

"What? I had to shoot my shot" she shrugs.

"I'm very flattered, but I only have eyes for one girl" Ferran smiles. 

"Yeah, well… Let's not get cheesy in public, shall we?" I say, feeling my cheeks on fire. I'm pretty sure he wasn't lying or pretending when he said that.

"Yes, please. It is my day, not Valeria's" Isabel says, reminding us that she still is there. 

"Of course. My apologies" Ferran says, using his famous look once again. Now Isabel is the one blushing.

"Yes… Umm… I better go find my future husband. Goodbye" she says, turning around and walking away as fast as she can.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Did you do that on purpose?" I ask Ferran once we are back in our room, the party finally over.

"Do what?"

"Flirt with Isabel and use your fucker look on her."

"I did, yes" he grins.

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to see her reaction, if I could get to her. And I did. I'm sure she's spent the whole night hating herself because she has been turned on by her nemesis' boyfriend."

"Her nemesis" I laugh. "But she probably has. You made her giggle."

"I know" Ferran smirks. "Right or left?"

"Uh?"

"Which side of the bed do you prefer?"

"Oh, left. I like sleeping looking at the window."

"Ok" he says, taking off his shirt.

"You don't wear pyjamas either? Is that a Barça thing?"

"What?" he says, getting in bed.

"Pedri also sleeps in his underwear."

"I actually sleep naked, but, you know… I didn't want to make it more awkward."

"That's… that's very thoughtful. Thank you" I reply, quickly getting in bed too and trying to hide that I'm blushing.

"Yeah, thoughtful" he chuckles. "Bloody hell, Val."

"What happened now?"

"Your feet! They are frozen!"

"Oh, yes. Sorry. They are always like that" I shrug.

"Always?"

"Always. 24/7."

"How can Pedri sleep next to you when you have two blocks of ice for feet?"

"He doesn't mind. And he says that if he gets hot through the night, he can always count on them to help him cool down."

"That's… weird. But ok" Ferran chuckles.

"It's Pedri" I shrug again. "Anyway, good night. From the three of us."

"The three of… Val!" he complains when I touch his leg with my feet.

"Night night" I smile.

"Night night, yes" he replies, sticking out his tongue and moving his legs as away from mine as he can. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"At first I wasn't going to wear flat shoes because, who wears flat shoes for a wedding? But I don't know how to walk on heels, so in the end I said, fuck it. You can barely see them with the dress, and by the end of the night everyone will be barefoot and…"

"Val… Val!" Pedri laughs over facetime.

"What?"

"You are rambling."

"Am I?"

"You are" Ferran says while retouching his hair in front of the mirror.

"Sorry, I just… I am a bit nervous" I sigh.

"Just a bit?" Pedri laughs again.

"Yes" I reply, sticking out my tongue.

"You'll be fine, Val. You don't have any reason to be nervous."

"Don't I?" I say, trying to nod towards Ferran without him noticing.

"You don't" Pedri insists. 

"If Isabel tries something you know we can use my charm on her" Ferran says, still busy with his hair. It is taking him a lot more time than it took me, and he has a lot less.

"The fucker look almost never fails" Pedri says. "So relax and enjoy the day, ok?"

"Ok" I sigh again.

"You look beautiful, Val" he smiles.

"Do I?"

"You do. Doesn't she, Gavi? Gavi. Pablo!"

"What!" Gavi says. He is sitting next to Pedri, waiting for our call to end so they can go back to playing FIFA.

"Doesn't Val look beautiful?"

"Oh, yes" he replies, not lifting his eyes from his phone.

"Thank you, Pablo" I chuckle. "He is talking to her, isn't he?"

"When isn't he?" Pedri says, rolling his eyes.

"Don't let the teenagers know that the it boys are currently taken, their hearts may not take it" I smirk.

"Meh meh meh" Pedri replies.

"Ok, I'm ready" Ferran says. "You?"

"Yep."

"Then let's go."

"Have fun, guys" Pedri says. "And Val…"

"I'll try to relax and enjoy the day."

"I was going to say that I love you" he says. "But that too." 

"I love you too" I smile before hanging up.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I'm glad Isabel left you out of the bridesmaids" Ferran says as we watch all the girls walk down the aisle.

"Why?" 

"You look stunning on the dress you picked, but if it had been down to her, I'm sure she would have chosen the ugliest one she could find."

"Definitely" I chuckle. "Do you think anyone has noticed?"

"That you look more beautiful than them?" 

"That I am the only one from our group of friends she left out" I say, trying to ignore Ferran's compliment. Again.

"Nah, I don't think they care. And here she comes" he says when the music changes, everyone looking at the end of the white carpet that leads to the aisle. "100€ she looks our way when she walks past us."

"Ferran, I'm not gonna bet any money" I laugh.

"Ok, fine. No betting. But she will definitely look. Should we do something?"

"Something like what?" I ask.

"Can I improvise?"

"I don't like it when you improvise."

"I won't kiss you, I promise."

"You better" I say before turning to look at Isabel. She is very close to where we are, smiling and saying hello to everyone. And she looks beautiful, I can't deny her that. "Shit!" I jump when I feel Ferran's arms around my waist, hugging me from behind.

"It's part of the plan. Relax" he says next to my ear. "But you should put your hands around mine."

"What?"

"Just do it, Val."

"Ok" I sigh, doing as he says and interlacing my fingers with his. 

"She's gonna look" he whispers, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"She…" She is looking at us. At first she looks all smug, but after noticing Ferran behind me, her face changes. And when he kisses my shoulder, she quickly looks away, her smile gone.

"Told you" he chuckles. 

"I thought we had said no kisses."

"On the lips."

"Yeah, well. We should… You know" I say, letting go of his hands. "The ceremony is about to start."

"Yes, of course" he replies, moving his too. But he does it slowly, definitely taking his time. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"They look cute" Silvia says while we watch Isabel and Marc do their first dance as a married couple.

"Yeah, I guess" I say, trying to focus on them dancing and not on Ferran standing behind me, his hands resting on my shoulders while his thumbs make small circles on my skin.

"Aww, and now their parents. Marc's mum looks so nervous…"

"Uhm…" I reply, Ferran's thumbs now moving to the back of my neck and slowly massaging it. Why am I allowing him to do this? It isn't part of our arrangement.

"Oh, our turn!" Silvia says, taking Pau's hand and dragging him to the dancefloor as everyone else joins the bride and groom and their families.

"Are we dancing too?" Ferran asks me.

"Do you want to?"

"I am not the best dancer but sure, why not?" he says, his hands finally moving from my body. "My Lady Valeria" he smiles, now offering me his hand.

"Lord Ferran" I chuckle, taking it and following him to join the others.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

I don't know for how long we've been dancing and singing, but I do know that I am having the time of my life. Maybe because I've had a few more beers than what I am used to and I am a bit tipsy, maybe because the dj is playing hit after hit.

I've sung my heart out with Silvia, Alicia and Sara, we've had a battle of boys dancing vs. girls, Alicia made her dream of being all over Ferran come true while they danced together and we all cheered for them, and now… now it is him and I the ones who are dancing together, barely any space between us.

My back is against his chest, his arms around my waist, mine around his neck. And his lips are leaving small kisses on my jawline, making me giggle while we just move to the rhythm of the music. 

When it changes, he pulls me closer towards him, moving his head to kiss my neck. At first I barely notice it, but as he gets closer to the spot that makes my knees feel like jelly, I can feel my body tensing, one of my hands moving up and down the back of his neck. And then, he finds it.

A gasp escapes my lips, goosebumps going down my spine as the hand that is on his hair looks for something to hold to like it is used to. But it finds nothing. Because this is Ferran. He isn't…

"Val" he whispers into my ear, the feeling sending another wave of goosebumps over my body and making me forget about what I was thinking before he quickly turns me around, the movement making me feel a bit dizzy. His hands still are on my waist, pulling me even closer to him and then… then his lips meet mine.

He is kissing me. Ferran is kissing me again.

But unlike that day at the school, I don't freak out. This time I find myself wrapping my arms around his neck, letting him take control over the kiss and be the one in charge while I just let go.

[genderflu1dwh0r]

For @yoitsmano

Little Jori oneshot. I am sleepy and probably should be sleeping, but nopeeee. Hope you enjoy!!

Jade was having a bad night, the yelling from her parents in the living room to the pain in her lower back from helping Sinjin carry boxes and lifting the wrong way. Trina was being loud and obnoxious the whole day and Beck took Robbie's side instead of hers when she was trying to tell him that Robbie groped her. When she tried to study at home, she could hear her parents stomping upstairs, since she lived in the den of the house. Nothing was going her way. She tried headphones with music blasting, she tried turning her TV on, she even tried going out on the porch and smoking. Nothing helped.

She decided that she just needed to leave the premise of the house, just being in it was harmful. She told her parents she was staying with a friend and grabbed her keys, wallet, phone, leather jacket and bag with her homework inside. She knew that she wasn't staying with a friend, but her parents didn't know and didn't care, they were too busy arguing. Jade got into her car and started it up, figuring she could drive around and eventually stop at a park or something and get her homework done.

When driving, she couldn't stop thinking about what Tori said to her when she got into a bad fight with Beck. She told her that she could stay with her whenever she needed for whatever reason, she then followed up with "I probably shouldn't have said that" but Jade knew that she was being truthful about the staying over part. Jade kept thinking it over, she knew that she would have better light and a person to talk to, but also Trina would probably be there. She didn't want to hear or talk to Trina, but Tori was there, and she made life bearable. She could probably eat there, and also Mr. and Mrs. Vega were definitely better than her parents.

Jade decided fuck it and quickly did a U-turn, heading towards the Vega's household. After awhile, when getting on the street they lived on, Jade got nervous, she was doubting all of this. She didn't know if she should actually go through with it. All that went out the window when she saw Tori taking out the trash and spotting her. Shit. She grit her teeth and parked, waiting for Tori to make a big deal out of this.

Tori quickly stopped the trash bin and jogged over, smiling with her perfect teeth showing. Jade hated it, it made her feel stupid and hot and she didn't want to accept the truth. She got out of the car with her bag and didn't make eye contact. She didn't want Tori knowing that she was getting to her. Tori spoke first, smiling. "Jade, what a surprise! Is everything alright?" She asked, her eyes scanning over Jade and her bag, making sure she was okay.

Jade huffed, nodding. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm staying over, by the way." She said walking past Tori and to the front door. She really tried to keep cool, but hearing Tori ask her if everything is fine made her feel good. She opened the door and saw Trina on the couch watching TV, Celebrities Underwater. "Of course you like that show." She muttered as she set her bag down. "Hey, I like that show too." Tori said shutting the door behind them.

Jade looked back at her. "I know." She smirked, sitting down on the couch. Tori scoffed, but Trina spoke. "If you don't like it, then you can leave. By the way, why are you even here?" She asked, tilting her head and making a mocking face. It didn't take much for Trina to get into an argument, and she could see something was up with Jade. Jade crossed her arms and set her feet up on the coffee table. "Maybe watch better shows." She huffed, looking at the clock. It was 7:09PM. "And for your information, I'm here because Tori and I have to study for science." She lied through her teeth, she knew Tori would go with it.

Trina smiled wide before looking back at the TV. "I already know that I'm gonna pass my test, and I don't even have to study." She said confidently, flipping the remote in her hand and catching it. Tori walked past, behind the couch and over to the kitchen. "Trina, I've been telling you, you have to study to pass. You being confident doesn't make you suddenly know how to explain how energy is transferred through an ecosystem." She said cleaning the countertop and tossing the garbage in the trash.

Trina furrowed her brows and looked back at Tori. "I so know how to explain that, but I can't tell you cause you'll cheat off of me." She said getting up and tossing the remote to Jade. "I'm going to my room, because I don't wanna hang around nerds." She said going upstairs. Tori and Jade looked at each other before smiling. "Yeah, like I'm such a nerd." Jade said looking at the TV and scrolling through the options. Tori joined and sat on the other side of the couch. "Oh, you so are a nerd." She said crossing her leg over the other.

Jade scoffed, looking at Tori. "I am not, does it look like I have an A in math?" She asked before picking Parks and Recreation as the show they were going to watch. Tori smiled, turning with her arm on the back of the couch. "You so are, being a nerd doesn't only mean math, you can be a nerd by just being really into something. Like, The Scissoring, you really love films and scissors. You can tell me any fact about that movie." She said pointing at her.

Jade rolled her eyes, holding the remote in her right hand. "You're a fuckin nerd." She said looking at the TV. Tori rolled her eyes, but more lovingly than annoyance. "Yes, yes I am. But you are too, and you shouldn't feel ashamed of it." She said grabbing a pillow and loosely hugging it as she looked at the TV.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Jade stood up, Tori looked over at her. Jade looked like she wanted to say something, but couldn't decide whether to actually say it or not. Her eyes kept kinda darting and her hands were messing with the end of her jacket. "You alright? Can I get you-" Tori got cut off. "I'm gonna go use your bathroom, don't change the channel." She said quickly before heading upstairs. Tori didn't mind, just giving an okay before watching the show again.

Jade went down the hall, and instead of going to the bathroom, she headed to Tori's room. She quietly opened the door and started to look around. She saw a half used pack of spearmint gum and took a piece, she unwrapped it and put it in her mouth before crumbling up the wrapper and putting it in her pocket. She kept looking around and eventually came across some glitter pens, she took a light pink one and uncapped it, looking at the tip before drawing a smiley face on one of Tori's homework pages on her desk. She quickly turned around when she heard the door creek slightly.

"What are you doing?" Trina asked, crossing her arms and leaning against the door frame. Jade furrowed her brows. "None of your business." She said capping the pen and putting it into her pocket. "Bullshit. Tori never lets you into her room alone." Trina said, before looking towards the hall. "Oh, Toriiiii!" She called out, making Jade scoff. Trina smirked at her before going down the hall and stairs. "What is happening?" Tori asked, getting off of the couch. "Jade is in your room." Trina said going into the kitchen.

Tori heard that and immediately went upstairs, going into her room. She saw Jade sitting on her bed, holding a picture of Tori as a toddler. "Jade, what are you doing? I have told you before, don't go into my room." She said walking over, she stood in front of Jade, who slowly looked up at her. "You look very happy in this picture." She said looking back down before setting the framed picture back on the nightstand. Her demeanor had definitely darkened, she wasn't upset or yelling at Trina for telling on her, and she wasn't worried about Tori finding her.

Tori tilted her head, confused, before sitting down with her. "Yeah, well, I was at Disneyland, I was about 5 or so in that picture. I had my favorite red shoes on." She said smiling softly, watching Jade's behavior. Jade didn't look at her, just stared at the wall. She took a breath before talking. "Am I just unlovable?" She asked, looking over at Tori. "My parents never took me to Disneyland, they never really took me out or made me smile. Did I do something wrong to never get my parents validation?" She said staring at Tori.

This was a lot to hear, but Tori was ready no matter what. She reached over and held Jade's hand, gently rubbing it with her thumb. "You aren't unlovable, you have a lot of people who love you. No, I don't think taking someone to Disneyland means you necessarily love them, but it is a very nice thing to do. Do you think if they took you to Disneyland, you'd feel any better?" She spoke softly. Jade took a few seconds before responding. "No, nobody gives a shit. I'm a mean person. But I think I'd at least have a memory of happiness if I got to go to Disneyland with my parents." She said, clearly her voice cracking.

Tori frowned slightly, she let go of Jade's hand and grabbed her, pulling her into a hug. She didn't like seeing Jade sad, it wasn't really like her, she would get angry and frustrated, sometimes happy, but it really hurt to see her sad. Jade latched on to Tori, pressing her face into her collarbone. She couldn't help it, she felt tears start to fall. Tori rubbed her back, trying to figure out what to say. "I care about you a lot, Jade. I really do, and before you say anything, yes, I do, I do care and I do adore seeing you smile. I like watching your eyes light up every time Robbie gets hurt, or whenever I smile at you. You mean so much to me." She sniffled, trying not to cry.

Jade tried hard to not show that she was emotional, but there was no use, Tori was crying and it wouldn't matter. She let herself cry, she felt comfortable in Tori's arms, whenever she cried in her room, she always felt a sense of danger or unease, but in Tori's arms, she felt safe. She felt more comfortable with Tori than at her house. She felt at home. Tori was her home. She loved her. Jade lifted her head, looking into Tori's eyes, she stared at her for what felt like hours.

Tori looked at her, sniffling. Her brown eyes slightly sparkled against the tears. "Jade, I-" she got cut off, Jade leaned in and kissed her, pressing her body against her more. Tori kissed back, holding her close, she had already come to terms with her liking Jade, but she didn't know how good it would feel to actually kiss her and embrace her. Jade had tried to hide her feelings as much as she could, at least from herself, she hoped that kissing her wouldn't feel good, she hoped that she was all wrong, but here she was, kissing the girl she hated oh so much.

When Jade pulled away, it was for air, she wanted to spend hours kissing her, but she had to breathe at some point. They both looked at each other dazed and out of breath, Jade quickly went wide eyed when Tori broke out into a smile and blew a bubble with the gum Jade was chewing. "Freak." Jade said sitting up, wiping her tears. Tori kept smiling. "Well, you kissed a freak, how do you feel?" She asked, tilting her head slightly. Jade didn't answer, just kept smiling as she stared at the wall. She could get used to this.

I hope you enjoyed reading!!

[aspoetssay]

Hey, I really love your story. But I have a request. Can you do like Ghost x GN!/M! Reader they have a fight and broke up. The reader secretly stalk Ghost and find out that he has found someone new. It brokes the readers heart because they still love him. I don't have another idea anymore but can you do it more angsty😌i just want to cry🥲

If You'd Want - You'd Stay Simon 'Ghost' Riley x GN!reader

first of all, I'm terribly sorry for such a late response and second of all, if you ask for angst - I shall deliver...

warning: pure angst and hurt

It wasn't like other times. It wasn't just another fight. It was the one where Simon aggressively draw an ultimatum, packed his bags and never stepped foot in this flat again.

Your body was twisted in between the blankets, laying in the bed you once shared with Simon and you buried your head in between the pillows as the pain with the memory of his departure plagued your mind. For these past few months now.

"Can you just—not go?" You hesitantly asked.

Jesus, it hasn't been full forty-eight hours and he was gathering his gear again. He just came back from a mission that was over two months and you had no idea the whole time if he was even alive.

"You know I can't. I can't deny direct orders from my superior." His answer was always the same - direct orders, superior, for a month or two.

You huffed out and stood up: "For how long?" Your voice was sterner than usual. But you were sick and tired from waiting for him. It wasn’t as if he was leaving for a casual business trip - he was constantly risking his life and every day out there meant another day in which you could get a call and find out he was dead.

How much longer can you endure it? How much longer could he make you endure it?

"A month or two - it's not specified."

Here it was - the same answer as always. But this time, you just couldn't take it - not anymore. "I just got you back. You cannot be actually telling me that you're leaving me for another two months!" Your voice was stern, surprisingly, as you weren't good with arguments. You were always trying to bottle your feelings up, but when was the time to release them?

Simon angrily shoved his gloves into the backpack and turned to you: "What do you want me to do, huh? It's my job - I don't get to choose when or where to go!"

At this point you would've just stayed silent, just like the other times, but not this time. You just couldn't anymore. It always seemed like he didn't care about you. Like he didn't care about the damage he was doing to you with his constant departure. Why did he even need you if he was constantly leaving you?

"What about me, then? What about us? How long will this go on? A year? Two? Five?! What about what I want?" You were desperate. You didn't want to lose him. You just wanted him home.

His eyes clouded, not with sadness or the sudden realisation that he has been horrible to you, but with anger. "If you cannot handle who I am - then why do you even bother?"

"Because I love you! Because I actually want us to have a future. But how long will I have to wait for you? How long—until you'll realise that you have to care about me too?"

There was a beat of silence.

"I'm not planning to retire," he finally said and it completely shattered your heart.

You took a step back, your face feeling burning as your eyes were stinging with prickling tears. In the depth of your heart, you really thought that he was going to choose you.

"I'm not going to wait for you anymore."

Something flashed in his eyes, but you couldn't decipher it - hurt, perhaps? It has been so long until it was just the two of you together and it was as if you couldn't read him anymore.

"Fine."

It was horrible that his last word to you was just—fine. It plagued you. You didn't even know if he was alright, if he was even alive. But he didn't call you and you weren't going to call him.

He made his choice and it wasn't you.

You grabbed your phone from the bed table and the screen flashed right into your face: 12:04 am. Putting the phone down, you sighed - ever since he left, you had a horrible time trying to sleep.

That's why, you slowly stood up, threw a simple outfit from the clothes splattered around the bedroom, grabbed your phone and car keys and left the flat.

You often found yourself on the nights like these, when it got too overwhelming, driving to a fast food place nearby where you and Simon used to go. Well, at least at the beginning of the relationship. When you were still so eager to help him. To save him from his nightmares.

You quickly drove there, parked your car in your usual spot and got outside. It was a chilly night, even if everything seemed so cold towards you. Closing the door, you gazed into the place, through the windows, to see a group of teenagers having a blaster - probably on their way to some party.

And in the corner where you sat, well, where you used to sit with Simon - sat a couple. You slightly squinted your eyes, looking at the two seated people and your heart dropped.

Your car keys dropped on the asphalt and you leaned to the door of your car, trying to catch a breath - it was Simon. Jesus, you could spot him from miles away, you had his silhouette memorised into your bones.

And he wasn't alone.

The male, sitting in front of him, was laughing wholeheartedly and you could notice that Simon's shoulders were slightly moving - he was laughing as well.

You quickly moved down and grabbed your car keys and got into your car as fast as you could. You put the key in the engine and twisted it and grabbed the wheel, but you froze.

You were sitting right in front of them.

And a piece of you was relieved to see that he was alive. He was back once again. But it was only a reminder that he never needed you. He never cared. Because there was something hard you had to understand, but you were just never ready for it: you can't fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed.

You couldn't save Simon and now, you were the one who needed saving.

[pompomqt]

Journey to the West Chapter 23

Tripitaka being offered 4 beautiful wives, fifteen thousand acres of land, and a mountain of silver:

Just let my man live his monk life.

In this chapter of Journey to the West with @journeythroughjourneytothewest we have assembled are entire crew, so now it's time for them to face their very first challenge together. So let's get into it shall we?

So the group has been traveling for a while and one day when it's getting late Tripitaka mentions that they should find a place to spend the night. Monkey is all for just sleeping outside and braving the elements, but Pigsy is tired from hauling the luggage about and is all for finding a proper place to rest. So Monkey tells him off for complaining while Pigsy tells him he should try hauling the luggage if it's so easy. But Monkey's like, I couldn't *possibly* my only job is protecting our master- it's yours and Sandy's job to haul the luggage and take care of the horse.

Monkey also takes this opportunity to tell Pigsy and Sandy that their horse is actually a dragon, which you would think something like that would have come up in conversation sooner, but then again, since the dragon doesn't do anything but 'be a horse' why would it? Anyways, Pigsy complains that if the horse is really a dragon, can't he go any faster? So Monkey takes this opportunity to use his staff to startle the horse and cause it to take off running- with Tripitaka.

The horse finally stops running when they come across a beautiful estate, and allows Tripitaka to catch his breath and for his disciples to catch up. When they do finally catch up, Monkey (and I) am very impressed with the fact that Tripitaka did not fall off his horse. Good job Tripitaka. Anyways Tripitaka yells at Monkey for his stunt, and Monkey blames Pigsy, who is yet again complaining about how heavy the luggage is and having to chase after the horse.

Anyways, Tripitaka decides they should ask someone to stay here, and Monkey notices that this place was created by the heavens, but decides not to mention that to anyone else. And because it would be rude to enter somebody's house without permission, they all wait outside for somebody to come out, but after a while when nobody does, Monkey gets impatient and enters anyways. Monkey immediately gets caught by the owner of the house and explains that he is a monk traveling to the west and seeking shelter for the night. So the middle aged women invites them all inside only to have to deal with Pigsy salivating over her. No good deed goes unpunished.

But it turns out that this is just fine for the lady, since she sits them all down for tea time and explains that she is a widow with three daughters and no sons in inherit their vast estates and wealth. And she thinks it would be a grand idea if the four of them married her and her three daughters.

Tripitaka is Horrified by this offer, so much so that he becomes completely mute during the discussion and he only gets worse as she continues to try and sweeten the deal. Like it's so bad I'm almost tempted to add a point to his 'Paralyzed by Fear' stat. Pigsy however is very tempted by this offer and urges Tripitaka to say something. Tripitaka finally snaps out of it to yell at Pigsy that Monk's like them can't be swayed by wealth or beauty. He even gets into a bit of an argument with the lady and ends up insulting her a little.

This makes the lady angry and she tries to compromise that at least one of them should stay here and marry them. Tripitaka immediately volunteers Sun Wukong for this. Sun Wukong is like 'Nah, I don't care about things like that, let Pigsy stay.' Pigsy wants to discuss that idea further, but Tripitaka has already moved on to throwing Sandy under the bus instead. However Sandy just joined the group two months ago and isn't willing to give up on the journey so easily. Seeing that they aren't going to be swayed- the lady slams the door shut on them, leaving them outside.

Pigsy isn't to happy about being shut out in the cold, and says that Tripitaka should have just strung the lady along with a vague answer so they could at least get some dinner and a place to rest for the night. And even Sandy is getting tired of his nonsense and suggests that Pigsy just stay here. Pigsy however would feel slightly bad for abandoning his wife for this quest, just to abandon the quest for a different wife. Eventually though Pigsy gets tired of arguing back and forth with them, so he takes his leave under the excuse of finding the horse a place to graze. So Monkey leaves Sandy in charge of babysitting Tripitaka so he can follow Pigsy.

Rather then grazing the horse properly, Pigsy instead chases the horse into the house as an excuse to talk with the Lady again. So Pigsy offers his pitch, that just because the other three are to afraid of disobeying the Tang emperor to stay here, he would be an excellent choice of husband since he's hard working despite being rather ugly. So Monkey takes this opportunity to return to Tripitaka and tell him the latest gossip ahead of Pigsy. Pigsy comes back right after, and Monkey makes sure to drop a hint that they know exactly what he was up to.

Just then however the Lady comes out of the house with her three daughters and asks them if they've decided which one of them will wed her three daughters. Sandy chimes in that they've decided Pigsy will be the one to stay here. While Pigsy says that they shouldn't play tricks on him like this, and that they should discuss it further. Monkey points out that there isn't anything to discuss since Pigsy was the one who went behind their backs to make an arrangement to marry them. So they might as well go forward with the wedding since it's an auspicious and lucky day and the whole family is here for the wedding to give Pigsy away. Also at least this way Pigsy can help on their journey by giving them a wedding feast to see them off.

So Pigsy's future mother in law now gladly lets them inside and gives them a meal before allowing them to retire in a guest bedroom. She leads Pigsy away from the others however and says that she has a dilemma. She doesn't know which of her daughters to give Pigsy to. Pigsy tries to advocate that he would gladly marry all three of them, but the mother has a different idea on how to decide. So she blindfolds Pigsy and says her daughters will walk past him, and whichever one he catches will be his bride. However despite prancing around the room like a complete idiot, Pigsy isn't able to catch any of them.

Pigsy eventually complains that they are to slippery, so the mother should just marry him instead. The mother however comes up with another idea on how to choose. The daughters have each woven a silk undershirt, so the shirt that fits him, will decide which daughter he will marry. Immediately after Pigsy tries on the first shirt however, the shirt immediately turns into rope and tightly binds him, and the women also vanishes into thin air.

We cut back to the rest of the group, who had a pleasant night, despite waking up to find the beautiful villa gone and that they had apparently slept in a forest the whole night. Sandy is rather freaked out by this disappearing house nonsense, but Monkey is well used to heaven's shenanigans and habit of making random houses appear and disappear at will. Monkey is much more interested in laughing about Pigsy's misfortune and gleefully explains to Tripitaka and Sandy that this whole thing was a test from the heavens.

They also hear Pigsy yelling for them to rescue him and untie him. Monkey is all for leaving Pigsy there to suffer his fate, but Tripitaka thinks he's learned his lesson and decides to rescue him since he's still useful despite being a moron.

Current Sun Wukong Stats: Names/Titles: Monkey, The Stone Monkey, The Handsome Monkey King, Sun Wukong (Monkey awakened to the void), Bimawen (Banhorseplague), The Great Sage Equal To Heaven and Pilgrim Sun. Immortality: 5 Weapon: The Compliant Golden Hooped Rod Abilities: 72 Transformations, Cloud-Somersault, Ability to transform his individual hairs, super strength, Ability to Summon Wind, Water restriction charm, and the ability to change into a huge war form, ability to duplicate his staff, ability to immobilize others, the ability to put others to sleep, and the Fiery eyes and Diamond Pupils, intimidating horses, churning large bodies of water, sleeplessness, seizing the wind, enhanced smell and discerning good and evil within a thousand miles. Demon Kill Count: 4+ Unknown Number of Minions Human Kill Count: 6 God's Defeated: 19 + Unknown number Defeats: 3 Crime List: Robbery, Murder, Mass Murder, Arson, Theft, Coercion, Threatening a Government Official, Resisting Arrest, Assault, Forgery, Employee Theft, False Imprisonment, Impersonating a Government Official, Treason, attempted murder, failure to control or report a dangerous fire, desecrating a corpse, breaking and entering and trespassing. Cry Count: 3 Mountains Trapped Under: 1

Current Tang Sanzang stats: Names/Titles: River Float, Xuanzang, Tang Sanzang, Tripitaka Abilities: Curing Blindness, making branches point a certain direction (allegedly), reciting sutras, pretty privilege, memorization and Heart Sutra. Cry Count: 14 Tight Fillet Spell Uses: 5 Paralyzed by fear: 4 Bandit Problems: 2 Kidnapped by demons: 2 Falling Off Horses: 5

Current Bai Long Ma Stats: Names/Titles: Bai Long Ma (White Dragon Horse), Prince of the Western Ocean, and third prince jade dragon of the dragon king Aorun Abilities: Transforming into a human, a water snake, and a horse, eating a horse in one bite, and flight. Crime List: Arson, and Grave Disobedience. Contributions to the plot: 1

Current Zhu Wuneng Stats: Names/Titles: The Marshal of the Heavenly Reeds, Zhu Wuneng (Pig who is aware of ability), Zhu Ganglie, Pigsy, Idiot and Eight Rules. Weapon: Rake Abilities: 36 Transformations, parting water, fighting underwater and cloud soaring. Demon Kill Count/Kill steals: 1 Failed Flirtation/romances Attempts: 3 Cry Count: 1 Crime List: Sexual Harassment, Murder, Kidnapping and arson.

Current Sha Wujing Stats: Names/Titles: The Curtain-Raising General, Sha Wujing (Sand Aware of Purity), Sandy and Sha Monk Weapon: 'Monster Taming Staff' Abilities: Fighting underwater Crime List: Breaking a Crystal Cup, murder, and desecration of a human corpse.

[andorerso]

Christmas with the Andors + Erso + Kerri. For the 5 things.

oh, this one's definitely a modern AU! not Maarva friendly but I hope you guys don't expect anything else from me by now.

it's first time Cassian's introducing Jyn to his family. they started dating recently, or so they say. no, Maarva doesn't have to know they've been dating for a year. no, she doesn't have to know Cassian has met the Ersos numerous times and actually spent Thanksgiving dinner with them instead of stuck at home with the flu as he claimed. no, she doesn't have to know they're already living together. it's just... he's learned over the years that it's easier to keep Maarva out of his love life when he can. but it's been a year now, and he actually thinks he might spend the rest of his life with Jyn if she wants to as well, so they have to get over the introductions at some point.

Kerri very kindly pretends she's never met Jyn before and hasn't known about her all along. no, Maarva doesn't have to know they went Christmas presents shopping together just last week. hey ma, isn't Jyn great? don't know what she sees in my idiot brother, but I'm happy for them.

well, Maarva's not sure she agrees. she isn't being outright hostile or rude, but there's always that undercurrent of judgment in her tone. Cassian's so used to it, he almost doesn't notice, that's just how Maarva talks, but Jyn definitely notices and is a bit off-put that this seems to be the norm. Maarva's skeptical, suspicious, inquisitive, definitely overbearing. she doesn't suspect their treachery, but she's clearly evaluating Jyn like she's at a job interview applying for a position in their family, and somehow Jyn doesn't think she's passing.

honestly, she doesn't even care. let the woman think what she wants, what matters is Cassian's opinion. but Cassian's clearly getting more and more pissed off by the second. this is why he never introduces his partners, this is why he waited a year to even tell them about Jyn. Kerri tries to remain cheery, and Clem does his best to keep the tension at bay, but there's no way it doesn't all end in an explosive argument once Cassian finally snaps. in the heat of the moment, he lets it slip that not only has he and Jyn been dating for a year, they've also moved in together last month. the oven pings at that exact moment to signal that the pie is ready. shockingly, no one wants any.

Jyn feels like it's probably best for her to leave at that point. she was gonna spend the night here with Cassian but it doesn't seem like such a good idea now, and although she would like to stay and support him, her presence is probably only making things worse. she gets up to excuse herself, but Cassian absolutely panics, thinking this is it, Maarva has successfully driven her away, because why would he be worth enduring this treatment, what sane person would want to put up with it every year? he follows her outside in a desperate haze to apologize, and she reassures him she's not that easy to scare away. I'm not dating your mother, Cassian, I'm dating you, she says while stroking his cheek. Cassian lets himself lean into her touch, relaxing for what feels like the first time that entire night. yeah, he's gonna have to go back in there and have a very difficult conversation with his mother, and it's not gonna be pretty, and there might be tears and screaming, but right now, it's just the two of them with flakes of snow falling around them and their breaths mingling in the cold air and nothing's going to ruin this moment. (inside, Kerri's definitely yelling, and he can hear Clem's soothing tone once again trying to play the peacemaker. just about how your average Andor dinner would go. Merry fucking Christmas.)

[evansblues]

"The thing is, he’s a coward. but he’s a coward. And he thinks he did the right thing; I pulled cards last night and got another anon that I’ll post in a minute. He’s deluded. You do what you need to do with who he is."

This will be long and you can post or not post but IMO he absolutely did the right thing over con and I'll explain why. It's quite possible that he was advised to just confirm this and move the fuck on with his life and that's why he was feeling happy. Maybe in exchange for confirming he never has to see her again or minimal to no contact. Now to the meat of what I'm going to say; take the cards and the feelings out of this and look at this from a business/relationship aspect; who would it have served for him to sit on that stage and deny the rumors? To not wear his ring? Only a small part of his fandom. Now sit back and think about what it would have looked like for him to deny the rumors; it would have caused him(and her) embarrassment, caused confusion for the general public(why did he wait so long to say something, are they actually a couple, what is the truth?) and created more questions than answers. Lastly and the biggest thing is what would denying the rumors have done for his relationship with the entertainment publications that he NEEDS, yes NEEDS to report on him? Enews, Entertainment Tonight, Page Six, PEOPLE and a host of others. He would essentially be calling them liars and that they didn't do their research before reporting on him. This man is not an A lister anymore; he's not gonna get a ton of chances to make people look like fools. All these publications would have needed to issue retractions and that's not a good look for THEIR reputations. Just confirm and go about your business.

That last sentence is where I'm at right now; I see a weak coward with no backbone who has NO integrity. If he had integrity, it would have never gotten this far. If he had integrity, Ghosted would have been the last time we heard of this woman, but he has none and he's also incredibly weak. If there's one thing I would like a good read on, it's him and the months of may, june and july because something went REAL awry during that time. That podcast in June? He was too relaxed for this woman to really still be heavily in the picture and then we got the disastrous GQ article. I want to say the strike had a lot to do with this progressing this far but I'm not sure. Anyway like I said, post or not. Just in my eyes this was the best course of action. I also don't think he has a good support system in place to help him if he went the other route. It is what it is.

This is an excellent point and I’m sure exactly what he was told. Just keep your head down and go along with it and it’ll be over soon. That’s also exactly why he shouldn’t have; this is a recurring lesson for him in choosing himself over external pressures. He didn’t want to do this, it has made him unhappy, and he ignored his own needs over the logic and potential benefits of just playing along. He can’t be king if he doesn’t choose the right thing over adversity; he can’t stay true to himself if he never does what is best for him others but don’t want him to. This made him sick, lost him tons of fans and his personal image, which I think was reflective of the person he tries to be and partly is already. He was an advocate and they paired him with a racist, and he didn’t stand up for his beliefs. He didn’t stand up for the people he had been vocal for. He didn’t stand up for himself. This is a lesson in choosing what is best for him over the exact arguments you’ve made, because he and his ideals matter more than all of that. Just like in history, where battles were won by people doing what was right despite the dangers and social pressures. Thank you for putting this down, many have asked what he’s afraid of, I think you painted the picture very well of what he was facing. I just think he chose wrong and will suffer consequences for it. He was meant to choose himself.

[acourtofthought]

as a hardcore gwynriel shipper... I don't want Az anywhere near Gwyn, does that make sense?

"Try it, pretend you're Gwyn right now and have a crush on Az. But then imagine that you hear how he yearns for Mor while simultaneously jerking off to Elain's headache powder and flippantly talking about killing an ally because that ally got a bond with the third sister while his brothers are with the other two."

Like Jesus he really needs a big glow up for me. Like that anon I don't understand the hype for Azriel either and I'm not one of those ppl who wants to do the opposite of being hype and act all different on something that is hyped, no. I always want to be hyped like rest of the fandom but honestly I don't understand this one lmao. I was all confused after finishing the books and I was like this is your man? Really?

Gwyn is in top five of my fav sjm female characters, I adore her sm and I can't wait for her book if sjm wants to dive into her character so I gotta protect my baby first!! STAY AWAY FROM HER AZ!!!

I get it!

I think there are some of us who know Gwyn and Az will be good together, it's clear based on the interactions they've had and the fact that they're both competitive and while loving their friends and family, still enjoy keeping to themselves at times in quiet, shadowy places. It's also hard to ignore that his shadows respond to Gwyn is a way that's adorable to read about.

The argument doesn't even need to be, "they're afraid of Elain" or "they don't like Elain" because his shadows do all sorts of things with all sorts of people (despite Az telling us they vanish when she's around).

Really, the only thing we need to know about his shadows is that regardless of what they do with everyone else, Gwyn is the ONLY one they've responded to in the way they have. Curiosity, playfulness, singing in answer to her song.

It doesn't matter if they like or don't like Elain, they've never been playful with her the way they have with Gwyn and that's major.

We know Az is ending up with someone so it's clear to see who his match is and support that match because it's a good setup.

If I focus on the potential than it's easy to ship Gwynriel. But when I stop at look at the current reality, there are way too many hens in Azriel's henhouse and the Az right now needs to be far away from Gwyn until he gets his head on right.

I'm glad Gwyn is in the dark on how he acts around Mor and Elain. I am glad she's never been in the room with Az at the same time as the other two. I'm thankful SJM has written it where Gwyn has separation from all of that because yeesh. It is not pretty and I kind of hate that Gwyn's first romantic encounter of her choosing (unless SJM has her dipping her toes into the dating world with someone else) is with a guy that's got such a messy love life right now. She does deserve better than who Az currently is.

We know that will change and I trust SJM will do her best work to show us that Az is in a better place before moving on with Gwyn.

For now, I am glad he admires her for her hard work and skill. I'm glad he believes in her ability to make it through the Rite. I'm glad he found her irreverence charming and wants her to be happy.

But I am REALLY glad he's not shown any sexual / romantic interest in her yet (I still think he's clueless as to why the thought of Gwyn's happiness made him smile) because I'd like to see his past become his actual past and staying there while he spends a little time not obsessing over females before their story picks up.