#I started this piece back in 2021 finally finished it

[kaban-bang]

Alien Resurrection's yuri is so good.

Based on a fic by my bestie!

[mirohlayo]

CHASE MY DREAM(S)

( Lewis has one last dream to fulfill, well if you don't count the most important one. )

warning : a lil boring introduction, all fluffy

note : i want a Lewis in my life pls

word count : 1.3k

Mercedes. Lewis Hamilton. Two names that both worked perfectly. We always likened them to one another, like pieces of a puzzle that fit together. As soon as we thought of one, we thought of the other.

However, the seven time Formula 1 world champion struggled to achieve victories and podiums, and his formerly usual appearances on these three steps were much less frequent, rare and almost... non existent. It was not his lack of experience that held him back, Lewis was surely the most experienced on the current grid, and that without a doubt.

Rather, it was his opponents, a certain team and a certain driver. RedBull and Max Verstappen. Many of Lewis' fans will say that he was robbed of his eighth championship, in 2021, but we are not here to debate that subject. The loyal Mercedes driver doubted his choices, his actions and his performances. His thoughts wandered, because at what price could he afford this eighth championship that he dreamed of so much?

The price to pay was surely great and fatal. Leaving the team for which he raced, the one with whom he has always been faithful and loyal for 11 years. But after 3 years without success, maybe a new start will do him good, and maybe this change will turn everything upside down. He still had a dream to accomplish, this eighth championship to win. Well, to be honest, he still had two dreams to fulfill.

This famous championship, as previously announced, and then, her. This person who has just joined Lewis in his driver room. This pretty woman who has known him for several years now. The one for whom Lewis' heart seemed to melt in an instant as soon as he laid eyes on her.

She looked like a dream. Angelic and almost unreal. The kind of face you can admire for hours, and the kind of voice you can listen to speak for hours because there was an inexplicable sweetness emanating from it. It was one of Lewis's most beautiful dreams. To be by her side forever, to finally have the courage to offer her a life together, a love of the strongest.

He took her in his arms, squeezing her gently. He could let himself go in these embraces, and show her his weaknesses and his fears. She knew him by heart now, and she worried a lot about his mental health and his career choices. She was perfect in his eyes. “Still thinking about your contract, mhh?” Lewis chuckled weakly, almost ironically. He expected you to ask him this question.

His eyes, where a glow that you couldn't describe danced, met yours. You looked for him, and behind those pupils that were full of thousands of different feelings, you tried to find the words he was trying to say. The true feelings he felt deep inside. He was still smiling weakly, his gaze softened by your face. "I think deep down I made the right choice, Y/n. It's just that leaving Mercedes after all these years..."

He couldn't manage to finish his sentence, looking down and staring at your feet face to face. He felt totally exposed, lacking in confidence and full of doubts. Maybe a little shameful. His grip had loosened, his hands resting in the hollow of your hips. "They haven't really listened to you over the last two years, Lewis... as if you weren't their driver, as if the vision of a seven time Formula 1 champion who drives every day had no importance"

You manage to extract another mocking laugh from Lewis, who, despite his love for this team, totally agreed with your words. His racing team had been indifferent to his suggestions and comments. He played nervously with his fingers. You could feel the tension and stress in him, and seeing him like this broke your heart. The man in front of you didn't deserve this.

You grabbed his hands gently, separating them from each other. Lewis looked up, his expression completely dejected. He looked like he was about to cry and you couldn’t stand the sight anymore. Wrapping your arms around his back, you took care to gently guide his head onto your shoulder, into the crook of your neck, where he loved to nestle comfortably. His hands hadn't moved, just gripped your waist tighter.

Several minutes passed like this. The noise of the paddock hidden by the walls of the driver room. Lewis felt...at home. He was relaxing little by little, he absolutely didn't want to let you go. Everything seemed normal now, in your arms, far from all these incessant questions. “I believe in you so much, Lewis. Everyone believes in you, and everyone is very, very proud of you” Your lips brush against the driver’s temple, placing a soft, reassuring kiss there.

“It’s time for you to chase your dream.” Lewis leaned back slightly, locking his gaze with yours. He tilted his head to the side, a smile hanging on his face. "Dreams. Chase my dreams" You didn't immediately understand where he was going with this. Why was he repeating the same sentence as you? And then, after a few moments of confusion, you raised your eyebrows, intrigued and curious. You had finally found the difference, and it was in the number of dreams Lewis had.

He had piqued your curiosity, and he himself had guessed it by examining your expression. His smile gets bigger. “I don’t have one dream, but two dreams to fulfill Y/n.” He brings his face slightly closer to yours, only a few centimeters. He grins even wider. “Win this eighth championship. And above all, win the heart of this absolutely beautiful girl.” His index finger points to the top of your chest, reflecting his words.

Your eyes widened, your cheeks blushed violently. It is true that you absolutely, but absolutely did not expect a statement like that. Lewis couldn't help but laugh happily, satisfied with your reaction. "I have a race to win, sweetheart. Wait for me, m'kay?" He winked at you, before rushing onto the circuit. Everything was happening at an incredible pace, and while you were still stuck in your driver room thinking about what just happened, the race was already coming to an end. But an incredibly beautiful ending. Silverstone, 2024, and a Lewis on the podium of his home race. Finally.

The shock was still present in you, but with this sudden victory of your favorite driver - and your secret lover - the adrenaline didn't seem to want to subside. The applause from the completely overexcited and crazy crowd, the euphoric atmosphere. This time, everything really felt like a dream. So, gently pushing the different people, making your way among the Mercedes employees, you saw him there on the podium.

Big, strong, and proud of himself. A huge smile on his face and tears of joy beading on his sweet face. He looked around. He was looking for something, someone. And he finally seemed to have found it. You couldn't take your eyes off his, both too hypnotized by this surreal moment. And, despite the vibrant and almost dizzying atmosphere, he managed to read on your pretty lips these three words that he dreamed of hearing from you.

And this dream came true. So, finally, at the moment when he was brandishing this magnificent trophy, on the top step of this magnificent podium, he had regained this ounce of hope. His first dream had come true, and he had finally won the heart of the woman of his dreams. So, if he managed to did it after all these years, of course he can win that much desired eighth championship, right?

[dawnoftime22]

wait for you.

| N.R

Warnings: none!

Summary: While Nat was busy doing her work late in the night, you sat sleepily in her lap.

Word Count: 426

Category: pure fluff

| Started on 04/12/2021, 9:12 AM |

| Finished on 05/12/2021, 1:21 PM |

Masterlist

“If there shall be a day where I must go to sleep without you, then I'd rather not rest.”

|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

Your head was in the crook of her neck, and your tired eyes started to slowly droop, but you tried to stay up longer.

Natasha, on the other hand, was working on something on her laptop, her hand going around your body to reach the keyboard and touchpad. It's past midnight by now, and the two of you have been in bed for a few hours.

She didn’t mind having you there in her lap, since she knows how much you don’t sleep well when she isn't around.

But you tried to reject the sleep either way, still wanting to wait for her to finish.

The sound of the keyboard clacking was probably the only thing you were able to focus on because of your tiredness.

Natasha noticed that you weren’t asleep yet, and felt your head slightly dropping then going back up every now and then.

She didn’t want to jolt you fully awake by speaking, so instead she spoke quietly.

“Любов (love), why aren’t you sleeping?” Her hand trailed away from the laptop, placing it on the side of your arm instead and drawing small circles with her finger.

Your only response was a small, quiet whine, nuzzling further into her neck to hide.

The redhead sighs, and tries to gently push you so that your head was on her chest. It didn’t take long though, considering your energy was gone to the point that your body couldn’t even try to stiffen itself to defend from the movement.

That was when she saw how tired you looked with your half-lidded eyes.

She wished she could just betray this piece of work she had to have done by the early morning, but she was almost done. So, every now and then her head goes to kiss you on the forehead or cheeks, whispering soft reassurances.

Your body was desperately trying to fall asleep at this point, but your brain still didn’t let you.

Finally, Nat turned off her laptop and set it aside so that she could cuddle you back properly.

Her hands went around your waist, one going under your shirt to draw meaningless patterns on your skin.

Yours, though, was near her neck, playing around with her arrow necklace. You always loved to fidget around with it whenever you were cuddling with her because it helped to calm you.

“I’m right here. I won’t be going anywhere, детка (baby).” The redhead above you says as you sleepily look back at her.

She smiled, taking in how adorable you were in your sleepy state.

“Promise?” you whisper, but you were so close she could hear you.

“Promise.”

“Now go to sleep.”

---------------------

taglist <3 - join here! :]

@notevenanna

[highlynerdy]

"I do it because I want to protect him from the world, and sometimes from myself. I want to tell him every secret I ever had, and yet I never want to make him choose, to see the hurt in his eyes, to put this, too, on him. I want-I want so many things. Sometimes, I just want."

Turning The Page by @queerofthedagger / art by @schweetheart

I started this fanARTifact in July 2021 and finally, finally finished it in September 2024. Click below to see so many more pictures and read probably too much about the project.

This project was a LABOR OF LOVE because y'all...I failed so, so many times during the making of it. I had grand dreams of all the things that I was going to do and learn and every single time I tried something it was like the universe telling me to go ahead and go fuck myself, we're not doing that. But it's done and I'm pleased with it. I hope Mona and Schweets are. Let's talk about the process.

I read this story back in July 2021 when it came out and immediately wrote @schweetheart on July 23, 2021 to ask if I could use her art for the back because it was such a crucial part of the story.

She graciously allowed me to use it, and even sent me a high res file so I could have the portrait of Arthur printed on art paper.

THEN. My brilliantly stupid self decided that just making the book wasn't enough. I mean, I had already done that for Arthur's journal back in 2020 and I am nothing if not a nutter about learning to do new things, especially for my fanARTifact series.

SO. I'm going to learn to make paper. Yeah. Totally a reasonable escalation in terms of new skills, right?? ......... Nope. I bought a small 5x7 mould and deckle to practice with and some cotton linters to make the pulp. Twas. A. Failure. I didn't have a press or the felts or the sizing needed to make the paper actually, ya know, usable. This was the first time I put the project down for a while.

Moving on to another new skill in late 2021, I decided that I wanted to make the walnut ink myself. Luckily, I was part of a pigment subscription in 2020 (that is a hell of a nerdy statement, even for me) and had all the supplies in my art studio to attempt this endeavor.

I didn't fail this part! Fucking huzzah for small miracles. Now I had two small bottles of black walnut ink to use for the calligraphy that I wanted to do for some of the excerpts. Except now I was stuck again on the paper making part so I put it back down again for an eternity.

Picking it back up in late 2022, I asked Mr. Highlynerdy to make a custom size mould and deckle for me so I could have long pieces to fold for my signatures. It was his first time doing anything like this but he's a buddy and a pal and gave it a try. Surprising no one if you've read this far, we both failed this part. Even now, I'm still not sure we succeeded but eventually we did get something workable. And considering professional mould and deckles cost in the hundreds of dollars...yeah, it'll do.

It took a hot ass minute for me to feel ready to attempt the paper making again but once I was ready, I ordered wet, pre-beaten pulp from Twinrocker. A very curt man on the phone helped me figure out what I needed and added internal sizing to the pulp I ordered. I didn't take pictures of any of the paper stuff because it was very messy and annoying. Once again, Mr. Highlynerdy helped me rig up a drying box with tri-wall cardboard and ratchet straps and a box fan. Once the paper was dry, I used a gelatin mixture to paint on external sizing. Since I'm primarily a painter, I needed the paper to be able to handle ink, paint, pencil. Sizing paper is the only way to do this, but no worries, I won't go further into the nerdy details about this.

Once the paper was ready, I decided to sew the text block. Here's another part where I failed YET A-FUCKING-GAIN. I talked before on Arthur's Journal post about how books were very, very rare in the 6th century (Arthurian period), but BBC Merlin is soooooo anachronistic that it's fiiiiiine to just do what I wanted. HOWEVER. I did want to try to do visible spine binding. But. Unfortunately I had gone ahead and used all of my paper to bind the text block as if I was going to case it in. FUUUUUUUCCCCCK. It's fine. We're fine. Come on, brain. What can we do.

Well, what we CAN'T do is use a piece of leather from my large remnant that I bought for my first journal because someone - FUCKING ME - measured and cut the last piece NOT TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THE WIDTH of the text block. So now it doesn't fit. And refusing to buy a new piece of leather I'm forced to pivot once again.

I decided to cut the leather spine even shorter, buy some wood pieces and sand them, paint them a matte black, and then glue the leather to those pieces. Cool cool cool. We're moving on. I tested a lot of different glues for this and good ol' super glue ended up being the clear winner. Cue putting this project away again for a whiiiillle.

In October 2023, I decided to pull it out again and do the calligraphy and drawings I wanted. This story has so many gorgeous parts but I finally decided on the first page, the last page, and the page about Gaius.

I mixed my handmade walnut ink with my beloved Finetec gold and used the quills I bought from John Neal Booksellers to practice my Uncial. I shouldn't have been rusty after lettering an entire fic for this fanARTifact, but I was.

The little dragon was inspired by medieval manuscript dragons I found.

Narratively, I loved the idea that Merlin's writing would start off soft and delicate and become stronger by the end of the journal. Also, I loved that the end word "WANT" would be just gold because the ink blend changes throughout. Something magical or whatever.

This part needed tears. They might have been real ones...

Annnnnnnnd, the project was put down again until a few days ago when I decided, after getting back into Merlin fic, I needed to buck up and finish it.

I did so many tests for the cover. I tried embossing, carving, and debossing and hated all of them. I settled on painting it with acrylic paints in the shape of a Celtic knot sort of pattern. I originally wanted to do a triskelion but after reading a bit about how some asshole groups have co-opted the symbol for shitty purposes, I decided against it. It's a mix of black and gold and it's hard to capture the depth of it through photos...eh, I did what I could.

Still. Something wasn't quite working with the brown leather and the black covers with the new symbol so I broke out my matte black leather paint and decided to go all black.

All I had left to do was glue in the text block and it would be done! And that still took me a few days to work up the courage. The book opens nice and flat, which will be good for me as I will use it as a sketchbook.

Sitting here, on September 1st, I have completed a project that taught me many new skills and also taught me a lot about humility and perseverance. There was no way I was going to abandon this project, and maybe I should have started over many of the times, but I am quite in love with the final result and I just hope that it does it's inspiration proud. Thank you @queerofthedagger Mona for all you create and share with the Merlin fandom, and thank you @schweetheart for allowing me to use your gorgeous art.

Also, you may see quite a few other fanARTifacts in this photoshoot because I will use any opportunity to show them off lol.

If you read to the end of this, you deserve a cocktail and a cookie. Thank you. 💛✨✨

[thelostgirl21]

I've finally finished making all the adjustments to my Jaskier costume!

Full disclosure, I started with a pre-made Jaskier costume, i.e. this one:

I bought a man's XL size (because I figured it would be easier to "shrink it" than discover the costume I'd ordered was too small).

Then, completely unstitched the jacket and the vest apart, cut each piece to fit my own size, put it all back together, split the back panel into two panels instead, added rivets on the side panels and made sure they went all around the collar, the jacket ornaments/clasps (I'm lucky enough to have a friend with a 3D printer, and to have bought the pattern before the store on Etsy moved... I wanted to link it here, but it's no longer available!), and, of course, the underarms slits with the laces!

a.k.a. The one detail that had my partner looking at me in utter disbelief asking "Are you serious?! Who is going to be paying attention to your underarms?!

Ah, me. I'll know! If I've kept hyperfocusing on that specific detail of the jacket ever since Yennefer hugged him, you bet I'd notice if my jacket was missing the laced slits!

(Plus, let's face it, given how that shirt's fabric is very synthetic and not at all breathable, I've a feeling I'll be grateful for the underarms openings!)

Oh, yeah, and I made the lute with a bunch of scraps I had lying around (including half dried out fabric paint) for a dance number back in 2021.

And for little impulsive shits like me that enjoy cutting corners...

If you want to quickly color PLA 3D models in the laziest fashion, a permanent Sharpie marker will give good results in terms of covering / color intensity, and then you can fix that color using "Mod Podge" (I used one with the matte finish).

And yes, I'm 100% aware you're supposed to sand your 3D models, but I loved the look of those "tiny stripes" on it, so I've kept them (also, lazy impulsive little shit... That'll take the time to add laced underarms slits to her coat, but can't be bothered to properly sand and paint those clasps! Don't question me!).

Now, back to Radovid...

[choicesficwriterscreations]

June Creator of the Month: Thosehallowedhalls

Please welcome this month’s Creator of the Month is @thosehallowedhalls.

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists. The writer or artist is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTM's can be found here.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog Masterlist

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

I can't remember exactly. 2021, I think? Laws of Attraction was on its tenth chapter.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined in January of this year. I was upset with Crimes of Passion 2, so I wrote a couple of stories about it. I had deactivated my old Tumblr long ago, so I had to open a new one.

3- How did you pick your blog name?

I love old buildings - the history, the ambiance. I tried hallowedhalls, but it was taken, so I added the article.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!

I… have zero recollection of this post. But I'm big on nostalgia and mourning past times, so the fact that this was my first post tracks.

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both?

I write fanfiction. I've been teaching myself to draw, but I'm not anywhere near close to sharing what I do.

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

I started writing fanfiction way back in… 2010? For about four or five years. Then I stopped until December 2023.

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

Crimes of Passion on both counts.

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

That would be The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm, inspired by The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. I do still like it, but I would tighten up the writing a bit. I had barely written any fiction for several years at that point, and the lack of practice shows.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created?

I keep going back and forth between The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm and Home Without. Both are angsty short series.

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

I was taken aback by the comments on The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm. I'd posted it on AO3 a few weeks before, and had gotten a handful of kudos and one comment, but within 24 hours of posting it here, I had several lovely reblogs. It was a welcome surprise. Stories with fewer comments… I guess Home Without. The first chapter got quite a bit of love, but by the time the final chapter rolled around, fewer people were interacting.

11- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I love a balance, but I'd say angst with a happy ending. I enjoy the breadth of emotions angst lets you explore.

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

There are bits and pieces of me in all of them. Emma has my sarcasm, and Raine has my need to look for the best in people. There may be more, but if so, it wasn't done intentionally.

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

Perfectionism. Like I said before, the lack of writing practice shows. I know that the only way to get better is to keep writing, but I hate seeing the gap between what I do and what I want to do. Catch-22.

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

My Sebastyan x Emma fic, Of Cloudless Climes and Starry Skies. There are only a couple of chapters left, but I've been struggling with it for a couple of months now.

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first?

Oh, hell no.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

So many writers have influenced my writing throughout the years, including authors I do not currently read. The Brontë sisters, Charles Dickens, Nora Roberts, Jane Austen, Courtney Milan, Alyssa Cole… I could go on and on. Fanfic writers… There are a lot, but off the top of my head, @inlocusmads, @coffeewithcutcaffeine, @gaiuskamilah, @aria-ashryver, @jerzwriter, @dutifullynuttywitch, @aces-and-angels, @petalouda85, and @storyofmychoices. I know there are more.

17- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

Home Without. I'm a sucker for good pining, and I'd love to see all that mutual longing play out onscreen - not to mention that reunion.

18- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art?

I do. I'm currently working on a horror short story, a MG novel, and a dual timeline mystery that's still in the research stages.

19- What other hobbies do you have?

Reading, non-fandom writing, drawing, learning new things (especially languages!), going on walks, and drinking enough coffee to alarm medical professionals anywhere.

[jimhines]

2022 Writing Income

It’s that time again – for fifteen years now I’ve been writing an annual blog post about my income as a writer. Money tends to be an uncomfortable, even taboo topic, but I think it’s important to help counter the myths that we’re all multimillionaires living in Glass Onion-style mansions. (Side note: If anyone wants to pay millions of dollars for my book, I’ll happily update this blog post from my private island mansion.)

Remember, every writer’s career is different, and I’m only one data point.

Prior Years: Here are the annual write-ups going back to 2007: 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021.

In 2016, instead of a personal income write-up, I did a survey of almost 400 novelists about their income.

My Background: I’m a primarily “traditionally published,” U.S.-based SF/F author with 15 books in print from major New York publishers. The first of those books came out from DAW in 2006. I have an agent, and have been with them since about 2004.

I’ve self-published a middle grade fantasy and a few short collections. I’ve also sold about 50 short stories to different magazines and anthologies.

I’ve never hit the NYT or USA Today bestseller lists.

I’m currently the sole parent of a teenager (at home) and a 22-year-old (at college). I have a day job that’s just over half-time, both for the paycheck and the benefits.

2022 in Summary: There’s no gentle way to say this. The last several years have kind of sucked. Losing my wife to cancer in 2019 completely derailed my writing. I was hoping 2022 would be a comeback year, but life had other plans…

I did write and sell two new short stories and one nonfiction piece, which was nice. I’ve got a finished middle grade book that’s been on submission for a while. I finished a standalone fantasy that’s been sitting with my publisher for a while.

Normally, my editor is pretty quick about responding, but last year wasn’t normal for DAW, either. DAW was acquired by Astra House. A lot of their time and energy went into that deal. I’m hoping for the best, but things still haven’t settled into the new “normal.”

Last year did see the release — finally — of Terminal Peace, the third book in the Janitors of the Post-Apocalypse series. I’m thrilled and relieved to see that book in print, but it came out right in the middle of the Astra House acquisition, which may have impacted things like promotion and publicity.

I also finished the first draft and started revising a new standalone middle grade fantasy with series potential.

2022 Income: The biggest check was the publication payment for Terminal Peace. All total, before taxes and various expenses, the writing brought in $13,957.16. While that’s absolutely nothing to sneer at, and I’m grateful for the success, it’s also a dropoff from the past couple of years. To be blunt, if you look at the cumulative graph, things have been slumping a bit.

Income Breakdown:

Patreon has been a small but steady and helpful source of income. My thanks to everyone for that!

As usual, my U.S. novels are the biggest piece of the pie. The short fiction category is a bit higher this year, thanks to those two new stories. I didn’t self-publish anything new in 2022, but if that middle grade book doesn’t sell, I’d like to publish that one later this year.

Novels (U.S. editions): $8,542.83

Novels (Non-U.S. editions): $473.25

Self-Published: $1158.24

Short fiction: $892.86

Audio: $521.04

Patreon: $1668.94

Other: $700

I mentioned earlier that things have been in a bit of a slump, and I need to focus on breaking out of that. Some things I can’t currently control. Tomorrow I could wake up to an offer from DAW on the book they’ve got, and maybe an email from my agent that the middle grade title he’s been shopping around went to auction and got a six-figure advance. But I can’t make these things happen.

Priority #1 is to keep writing. If I’m not doing that, other goals are pretty much moot.

Priority #2 is to figure out some alternate options. It may be time to put more time and effort into self-publishing as a complement to my traditionally published work.

The biggest thing making me anxious is that I’m pretty much out of contract. The paperback of Terminal Peace comes out this year, but for the first time in about 15 years, I don’t have the security, the luxury, or the deadlines of a signed contract. In some ways, this is freeing: I can write whatever I want. But there’s no guarantee as to when things will see print. Submitting to the traditional publishers is a long, slow process…

From talking to other writers who’ve been doing this a while, I’ve learned that pretty much every career has its ups and downs. Personal, pandemic, and publisher issues have been a bit of a perfect storm for me these past few years, but I’m not going anywhere. After 27 years as a writer, I’m excited to see what comes next.

Wrap Up:

I hope this has been helpful. As always, feel free to share the post and/or ask questions.

[nihilnovisubsole]

Because of your latest post: not sure if you’ve answered this before, but how does someone even entertain the idea of writing for the game dev industry? Did you start out on indie games or just write before and show them your work? Since it’s such a subjective field etc

if i have, it bears repeating! here's a rough timeline of what i did. never discount the value of luck and the kindness of friends

2016: i was doing a random freelance transcription job when i saw @theivorytowercrumbles post about writing for voltage. they reblogged the studio's open casting call for new writers. since it was so lenient - no experience, fanfic samples allowed - i applied. they hired me for their new project, but let me go after a trial period, citing that the tone of my writing was a bad fit for that game. i foundered for a while after that. i don't take rejection well. i started dangerous crowns to try to make money from writing some other way.

2017: one of voltage's producers reached out to me and said they'd started another project that i was a good fit for. she felt letting me go was a mistake and wanted to snap me back up. i said yes, i mean, are you kidding? so i started on reiner's route.

2018-2019: i kept at it. i took on diego's route. it occurred to me that i wasn't making very much money, but i liked my coworkers, and i was building my portfolio, so who cared? i also finished dangerous crowns, and a handful of people bought it, but certainly not enough to support myself or anything.

early 2020: between the pay and creative differences with voltage's team, it started to sink in that i needed to find other work. i applied to the few open game writer jobs i could find, but with only mobile romance in my portfolio, i got nowhere. i threw in dangerous crowns samples. i tried to network on twitter. i still never made it to the interview phase. i foundered for a while again.

late 2020: the voltage writers went on strike. i gave a statement to a journalist that one of obsidian's narrative designers noticed. we became acquaintances over it. another old friend of mine threw me a life raft in the form of a different contract, better paying, on a non-romance indie game. i took it gladly. i added a twine game to my portfolio, too. i kept applying. i got a few interviews, but something still didn't click.

2021: i finally accepted that i needed formal help. i did a portfolio workshop. i got resume coaching. the coach passed my name to a writer on the company of heroes team. they liked me! they also paid me more money than i'd ever seen in my life. at the same time, obsidian advertised a narrative job opening. i applied on a lark and let my ND pal know i was doing so. why not, right? college-new-vegas-fan me would want me to. they rejected me, but not before i passed their writing test and two interviews. i had nothing to lose at that point, so i told my ND pal that i was bummed. she gave me a golden piece of advice: "you came really close. try again."

2022: obsidian had another narrative opening. i threw myself at it. i was now going to annoy them into hiring me. since i was a known quantity from applying six months before, they had no qualms about interviewing me again. this time, it worked out, and i've been there ever since.

what's the common denominator here? i met people who thought i was all right and gave me a hand up when i needed it. the standard advice is to work with a community of your peers instead of trying to get your heroes to senpai-notice you. it's not that they don't care - they just have their own thing going on, and your peers could be the heroes of tomorrow if the right project comes along. i also found the portfolio was the end-all-be-all when it came to job hunting. i went through a grieving process with that! i'm not afraid to admit it. i wish studios had held my degree or dangerous crowns in higher regard, but i just had to make games in a wider variety of genres, and that was that.

one caveat: narrative is a really saturated field right now. a lot of people want to write, and there aren't many openings. it's not uncommon for big studios to get hundreds of applicants. larian probably got over a thousand for the job they posted recently. i feel awful saying that, because i don't want to discourage you, but i'd feel worse if i didn't let you know what you were getting into. if it's something you want, you should try! keep an open mind about the random projects you may find. you never know where they'll take you.

[daengtokki]

𝐵𝓁𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝑒 𝒫𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝟧

Kim Seungmin/Female Reader

wc: 7.4k

rating: fluff/light angst/mature/explicit ಇ (contains: f/m receiving oral, pet names, Seungmin being sad)

comments: Blind Date part 5! Wish I could’ve thought of a better title. This is separated into pieces by month. All of the oneshots in my masterlist happened after these events. And since I tried following a strict timeline for the entire series (part 1 started in sept 2021), we are now in Feb 2023, the morning after Last Date.

⠂⠄⠄⠂⋆ ⠁⠂⠄⋆ ⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂⋆☽

February

The next morning you wake up warm and too well rested. You never wake up like this. There was no blaring alarm at 6:45, and no noisy upstairs neighbor while you tried to get to sleep.

No, none of that happened. You’re not there anymore. You breathe in the brand new scent of a brand new bed and finally focus your eyes on the spot in front of you. It’s empty, but you can tell he was there. The pillow isn’t fluffed, and if he tried to fix the blanket, you messed it up again in your sleep. He was here, though. And he’s still here. You can hear him right outside the door, walking down the little hallway.

And then it’s quiet when he reaches the kitchen.

You search for your phone and find it tucked beneath his pillow—10am. Seungmin sent a text twenty minutes ago…

good morning ☀️🤍

He’s too sweet to come force you out of bed on your first morning here.

One long shower later, you wrap yourself in the sweatshirt he left folded at the foot of the bed. You’re not sure if he left it there for you, but you’re taking it anyway…at least for now. And just as you walk for the door, you hear him again.

He’s humming something.

Now you remember what you were talking about right before you drifted off to sleep last night. You listen carefully as you get closer, and he gets louder, but then he hears you and stops for a second, starts again, and smiles at you.

“Morning,” you wrap your arms around him from behind and squeeze. “How long have you been up?”

Seungmin spins himself and hugs you back, “not long…maybe an hour.”

“What was that you were humming?”

“Oh…uh, it’s called Wish. I can sing it, if you’d like.”

He remembered. Maybe not until just now, but you’re glad that he did. As soon as you nod at him, he smiles and hums again—and very slowly, he starts to sing. You can tell he’s hiding himself a little, busying his hands with the coffee grinder and not making eye contact. He’s being shy, so you decide not to watch him too closely.

First, you walk toward one of the windows and pull the blinds back a little. Winter sunlight pours in and lights up the room. Seungmin looks back to see what you’re doing. You catch him and smile, and he smiles back. Then you open one of the moving boxes. This one goes to the kitchen, and you notice now that Seungmin has already emptied one of them. He specifically found the one with the coffee maker, the coffee, and everything that goes with it.

You sit on the arm of the couch and watch. He doesn’t realize it for a while, so you get to watch him work.

First he plugs in the grinder—he must have waited to do this part so he didn’t wake you, but he still waits while he sings. He pours in the beans and closes it, but doesn’t turn it on. Next he fills the coffee maker with water. He fumbles with it a little, so you wonder if he typically uses something a little more fancy.

The grinder turns on, and he looks back at you, and he stares for the few seconds it takes to finish and stop itself. Smiles. Turns and goes back to his task. Pops in a filter, pours in the coffee, turns it on.

“Thank you”

“For what?” He closes the distance between you and tucks himself between your open legs.

“Getting the coffee out, and making it. And singing for me.”

He leans in and kisses your forehead, “that’s my job. I’m going to get you a Nespresso machine, though.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I may have ordered it already.”

You pull him closer and push your face into his chest, “are they wondering where you are?”

“Probably. Not curious enough to ask, though. Or text.”

“Are you worried about it at all? Should I not be as worried as I am?”

Seungmin stands you up and holds you tight against him. Rubs your back, kisses your ear and works his way down to your neck. “You don’t have anything to worry about. But maybe this is why you had trouble sleeping.”

“Yeah, but I…I’ll try not to worry. I have you, that’s all that matters.”

“You have me. And we will have each other all day…what would you like to do?”

What would you like to do? There isn’t much the two of you can do—you have to stay inside, away from people and prying eyes, because if anything ruins this, you’ll have nobody again. You won’t have Seungmin.

But you’re perfectly satisfied spending the day with him here, looking at him, talking to him, touching and kissing him. Doing nothing. He already has the coffee going, so you’ll make breakfast and sit on the couch with him nestled between your legs. Maybe you’ll find something to watch together. Or you’ll just watch him play one of his games. He can tell you all about the last few weeks—the weeks that you’ve seen in so many photos and videos; ones that don’t tell the whole story.

“Nothing”

“Nothing?”

“I just wanna be here with you. What are you hungry for?”

“Hungry for? Hmm…” he grabs your hand, does a cute little spin—you watch his hair bounce up when he shakes it out of his face—and he sits on the couch. “What am I hungry for?”

The feeling of falling hits before you realize his hands are on you, and you do fall, very neatly into his lap. One arm squeezes you around the middle, and the other hand pulls at the collar of your shirt. The fabric is in the way of the kisses he traces along your shoulder, but he manages well. And he gives you goosebumps. You can feel every hair stand up, and the shiver that runs through you feels so loud in the quiet room.

“Min,” your lips tremble, “Minnie?”

“Yes love, is this okay?” Your knee is pulled back and your legs spread across his lap. But he doesn’t touch. His fingers knead gently into your soft inner thigh, slowly moving up, and then down.

You relax against his chest and nod.

“I’ve missed you,” his hand jumps up to your arm and does the same, “touching you…the way you touch me. I didn’t realize how much until after I left last month.” He sighs and pulls you, turns you on his lap until you’re chest to chest and straddling him. “You weren’t there. And I left you alone, and I felt…guilty.”

“No, don’t ever think that. I don’t want you to feel that way.”

“I know. I thought about it before, too. Before everything, after everything. And what would happen if things, you know, got serious.”

“We knew it would be like this, Minnie.”

“We did, I know.” Seungmin’s mouth twists and he sets his head back against the couch. “I was so worried about how you would deal with everything, I forgot about myself.”

“Oh, Seungmin…I thought about it.” You adjust yourself, sit up a little on his lap. “You always act so stoic, so I wasn’t sure if I should even worry. You’re tough to read sometimes.”

“I am, I’m sorry.” He looks at you again, eyes still glossy and big.

“No, I like trying to figure you out,” your fingers graze over his ears, tuck the loose hair behind them. They’re warm and pink like the flush of his cheeks. “I get a little more every time.”

“Not enough to scare you away yet?”

“Not even close”

The kiss you lean in for is so eagerly returned, you almost lose your balance. But Seungmin takes you by the waist and holds you tight.

“You sure?”

You yes into his mouth and push your tongue in. The coffee maker beeps loudly from the kitchen, but it doesn’t distract. Seungmin pulls you closer and grips your thighs, hard. It feels good. He pushes down until you’re on him—and his dick, still mostly soft, is growing against you.

His heart is racing. You can feel it when your hands move over his back, and you pull away to give him a moment to breathe.

He lays back and looks at you, and then looks down at where your hips meet. There’s a smile forming on his lips, but he’s biting them and making them even more swollen and red. You can’t read him, of course.

“Hey, look at me.” You touch under his chin with your knuckle until he lifts his gaze. His eyes give him away—he looks sad, but you don’t think he is. Worried, maybe. Hopefully not worried about some part of him you don’t know yet, and it being a part you won’t like.

“Hi,” he closes his eyes and lets the smile take over. Eventually his shiny, braceless teeth appear, and he relaxes. Sighs. Squeezes his fingers into your hips.

You lean down and kiss his jaw, and you can’t help but suck a little when you get to where his pulse is still beating wildly. Leaving a mark sounds…appropriate. He can cover it, of course, but knowing it will be there, and that you put it there—why not? You suck until you can nibble on the skin, until he makes a sound and moves his hips.

“That’s a little naughty,” it comes out like a laugh and a moan and a feeble attempt at a protest all at once. “Now they might get curious.”

It is. It’s a bit bold. You pull away and move to a new spot. “Are you good with your concealer?“

“I’m sure I can figure it out.” He laughs and his throat jumps under your lips. “Can I request?”

“Of course, what would you like?”

First his shirt comes off, and he grabs the back of your neck, gently guides you further down, then stops when your lips graze his nipple. You look up and his hand is covering his eyes and he can’t contain his smile.

You run your tongue over him, hard; kiss and suck him into your mouth as loudly and dramatically as possible. Then you move to the other side and do the same.

He’s red in the face.

“Don’t be shy, Min”

Seungmin looks down at you and squeezes your neck. And he whimpers when you do it all over again.

“…puppy”

His hips jump up into yours, “hmm…did you call me puppy?”

“Yeah, your eyes when you look at me like that,” you glance at the red mark forming on his neck, “puppy eyes,” you move to it again and kiss while your thumb circles his hard nipple, “my sweet pup…does it feel good?”

It does, and you know it. You can feel it in his little movements—his thighs shaking beneath you and his quick deep breaths. His eyes glaze over and he sinks into the couch as the blood rushes to his dick. And his sounds, so needy, coming from deep in his chest. But they’re soft. He breathes them right into your mouth when he grabs you for a kiss.

The time you’re apart from him is filled with cute texts and selfies, late night phone calls, Seungmin’s stories he tells you in a hushed voice in his hotel room—because the last few nights he has had to share the space. It makes up, to some extent, for when he’s not here and you can’t talk until one of you falls asleep; when you can’t make coffee and stare at him across the table the next morning.

When you finally come together, this is what will happen. You miss his touch, and (now you know how much) he misses yours. He’s shy about asking for new things, and all you want to do is give him exactly what he wants.

Your hands slide down his stomach, grab at the waistband of his sweats, and when your fingers graze over the hard tip of his cock, he groans.

“Yeah,” he finally answers when you pull away, “…so good.”

“Any other requests?” You dip down again and kiss across his chest, over his stiff, sensitive nipples.

"Uhmm…uh," he’s smiling and licking at the corner of his mouth—thinking. His brain seems to work a little better once you stop kissing.

“Mmm, yeah…maybe”

“Tell me”

Before he can get another word out, his phone buzzes. And then again. A few seconds later, it buzzes one more time. It sits there on the counter just a few feet away, innocent, but not really. You hate his phone when he’s here with you, because any notification could mean he’ll be on his way out.

He’s still looking at you when you pull your eyes away from it.

“I can grab it for you”

“I don’t want it”

“No?”

He shakes his head, “I want…mmm, I want you—” he pauses for a few seconds. One hand hangs from his neck, the other is kneading into your thigh, “to lie on your back.”

One more kiss, then you lift yourself from his lap, and do what he says. You make yourself comfortable; one leg hangs off the side, and the other slides down until the sole of your foot can rub his thigh. Seungmin doesn’t move yet, just sets his head back and looks at you…looks at you like he’s still a little unsure, and a little bit hungry.

As soon as he moves, your heart races and your legs start to shake. He turns himself and closes a hand around your ankle, and he holds tight before he slides his palm up your shin and to your knee. It’s forced back against the couch, and he puts himself right between your legs.

His lips are warm and wet on your thigh, but the hem of your shorts gets in the way, and he stops to grab them by the waist band.

“Minnie…”

He looks at you as he pulls them from your hips, and you watch his gaze move down.

“Min”

The air is cool against you, and you open your legs further without realizing it. Seungmin’s lips hit your other thigh and kiss, moving closer and closer…

You gently grab a handful of hair and tug until he looks at you, “Seungmin.”

“Yes?” His hand is so close to touching you, and his mouth isn’t much further away.

“You haven’t tried this yet…are you sure?”

“Mhm…yeah”

Maybe he’s a little clueless about what he’s doing down there, but his mouth closing around you, the temperature change, and his tongue sliding innocently over your swollen clit does what it needs to do. You move your elbows from under you and let your back hit the cushions.

He sucks hard, and the sound he makes when he releases you is so loud and dirty and satisfying, the little laugh you can’t contain turns into a sigh.

“You can tell me what I’m doing wrong.” You look down at him again, and he looks up, pokes his tongue out to lick his lips, “and what feels good.”

“That felt good”

He does it again, and then his tongue slides into your folds, and it’s not much, but it feels perfect. Every part of you is so sensitive, and the thought of him down there is really all it takes to set your nerves on fire. You roll your hips into him, and he pushes his mouth harder into you, moves it side to side, tongues your clit so delicately that you spread yourself open even more.

“Seungmin,” it comes out like a delirious giggle, it makes him laugh, and his mouth vibrates. You stutter when you start up again, “did you…ah…ooh.”

“Did I what?”

You don’t answer right away, because he doesn’t stop. He’s sucking again—his fingers circle your opening, you can feel how wet you are against them, and you desperately want him to slide them in, but he only teases.

“Did you research?” It comes out like a laugh and a moan, because he’s doing something very right down there. He’s a little erratic and his touch is light and careful, but it’s driving you crazy. It feels good.

“Maybe,” he smiles and kisses. “Am I doing okay?”

“Yeah, you are…don’t be shy, though. You don’t have to be so gentle.”

“Am I being too gentle?”

Seungmin is always gentle. It’s the only way he knows how to be. Even now, he’s staring up at you with his cheek nuzzled against your thigh. He’s been so careful with you every time you’ve been intimate, and you can’t wait to get him out of his shell.

“Mhm, but I like it,” you run your fingers through his hair and scratch, and he groans. "Keep doing what you think I'll like.''

One long hard lick from your opening to your clit, and then he’s back on you. He kisses back down and pushes his tongue in deep, lapping up every bit of arousal that he can. He moans and pulls you by the hips, and you wonder if he can even take a breath.

“Minnie,” you purr and squeeze his hand, and he grabs back to lace his fingers with yours, “aah yeah that’s so good…fuck.”

He keeps going, and his thumb slides over your clit and sparks go off behind your eyes.

The sound you make for him is so needy—you weren’t ready for how he was going to make you feel, but it’s just him. His touch and his sounds and his eagerness. It’s as if that year of built up frustration…that year of waiting for him, pours out of you every time he gets close. And it feels so good.

“Make me come”

His drawn out, dramatic mmmm sends a shiver through your thighs and up your spine. He’s working hard, and he’s so focused; two fingers reach deep inside of you, and the tip of his tongue moves softly. His lips close tight and suck. You’re overwhelmed with his touch now, and you need the slow rise of your orgasm to last forever.

But Seungmin gives it to you, and your moan echoes so loudly off the bare walls of the empty apartment.

His lips stay put, but his fingers slip out and move up until they reach his mouth. You can feel the heat from his tongue as it slips out to run over them

“Hey…” you nudge him with your leg, but he doesn’t move, doesn’t respond. “Seungmin, you okay down there?”

“Mhmm.” He’s there so suddenly, hovering, looking down at you with lusty eyes—even more hungry than they were before. “I am very okay”

“You work too hard, you know that?”

“Do I? I guess I should relax more while I’m here.”

Your legs catch and pull him down until you can grab for his waist. “Yeah, I wanna take care of you,” you kiss him once, “sit down…”

There’s something about the way he listens and obeys without question, and the way he looks at you when he does it. You like that look.

“Lay back and get comfortable. Do you want some coffee while I suck your dick?” You touch him, just to get a rise.

“Do I…uuh, do I want—“

“Iced?”

“Iced is good”

You watch him carefully when you get to the kitchen. His back is to you, but you can see his face when he does finally get comfortable against the pillow.

The clink of ice on glass brings him back from his daydream. He keeps his eyes closed, though, because the sun is a little too bright coming in now, but it doesn’t last—a few seconds later he hears the blinds being pulled closed, and now it’s dark.

One eye opens when he feels you climb back onto the couch, coffee in hand. The bittersweet smell hits him when you set the straw to his lips, and he takes a long, slow slip. Now he opens his eyes and grins at you.

“Is it good?”

Seungmin nods and grabs your sweatshirt when you reach over him to set it down.

This is new for him, too. You’ve done it before, very briefly during your first time together, and he remembers it very well, but you’ve never gotten yourself comfortable between his legs like this.

His head falls back when you touch. It’s just the palm of your hand moving softly up and down, and there’s still fabric separating you, but it feels so good. And he does relax, just like you want him to.

Your voice rings in his ears (“gotta get you hard again, love”). He still feels a little drunk from eating you out and making you come, because he wasn’t sure he could. And he thought he was going to come, too, but he somehow controlled himself. Now he’s softened up a bit—but just seeing you here, pulling at his shorts, stroking, leaning down to kiss and lick—he’s growing in your hand.

The warmth of your mouth warms his entire body. You pull every inch of him in, and when his head hits the back of your throat, he whines and bucks up.

“Sorry…sorry”

The feeling of your lips pulling up and off of him makes him do it again.

“It’s okay, you might not fit in a few seconds.”

“No?”

“Just wanted to go for it while I had the chance.”

“Are you still going to try?”

He can feel the hard pulse of blood rushing to where your hand is gripped tight, the other palm is gently cupping his balls, caressing them, “oh yeah, I’m gonna try,” and then your mouth is on them.

“Ah…that—" he sighs and lays back even more, trying not to disturb you while you work. The warm wet licks across his skin—Seungmin didn’t know he was that sensitive there, and that it would feel so intense, “wow.”

He hears and feels you giggle.

At the same time he’s trying not feel so self conscious. Maybe you felt the same when he had his face between your legs, but all Seungmin could think about down there was making you come, how horny your taste made him, how wet he was making you.

Now you’ve switched places, and he should know better anyway. His mind, heavy with pleasure as you explore him, still skips back to all of your previous times together—your first kiss, sweet and surprisingly intense. Seungmin wasn’t ready for it, and he wasn’t ready for the hard-on he tried, with great difficulty, to hide and calm down. Somehow, you did not notice. Or you didn’t say anything. And then you kissed him again, and again, and he never told you that was the first time someone really kissed him and meant it.

aah…mmm his hips buck again when you run your tongue up his shaft.

You’re taking your time with him, and he thinks you might be doing this more for your own pleasure than his. And that makes it even better.

The second date, when he somehow found the courage to kiss you himself—more than kiss you…he pulled you right on top of him. And then your hand found his erection, and he hoped for a moment, before he got nervous, that this would be his first time. He liked the idea of it being with you, even though you didn’t know each other well. But you liked him, and you didn’t hide it. You were exactly what he needed.

As soon as he scared you off, he so badly craved your touch again; your fingers running down what you obviously wanted.

“Minnie?”

He hears you, and he smiles at you, but it takes him a second to reply, “yeah…aegi.”

“You’re quiet, are you okay?”

“Perfect...don’t stop, you feel so good,” he sighs and reaches for your hand.

You grab his and slowly work him into your mouth, further and further back. The warm, wet feeling is familiar…but watching you swallow him and gaze up at him, it’s so much better in the moment. Seungmin whines when you suck hard and pull back, and bucks up when you push back in.

This time you take all of him, and when he feels the tight squeeze of your throat, he groans and grips your hand in a desperate attempt to keep his hips still. Now his mind is blank and buzzing, and all he can comprehend is you, and the hot radiating pleasure moving through his body.

In and out, so perfectly timed, his head is pushed down your throat—the tight stroke of your hand, your palm and fingers delicately massaging his balls. He could scream. His free hand fists the pillow under him, and he lets himself moan so loudly. He has to, otherwise he’ll lose control, push himself deeper and choke you.

You push him in even more, and now your lips are flush against his skin.

Every last inch is in your mouth, down your throat. It’s such a pretty sight. Your eyes water, and you hold onto his hips as you carefully, slowly pull him out. You leave a mess of spit, and your face is pink when you breathe in deep and cough, but you’re back to stroking him as you catch your breath.

Seungmin wipes at your lips with his thumb, and the look he gives you is full of worry, and concern. He doesn’t want you pushing yourself for him.

“I’m okay, Min”

“Are you…” his breath catches when you close your mouth over his head and lick, “…sure? Mm, yeah you’re good…fuck. Right there.”

“You like it like this?”

Your tongue circles his head, over and over, and he rolls his hips upward when it slides hard over his tip.

“Yeah just like that”

Seungmin lets himself relax again—back against the pillow, neck arching delicately over the arm of the couch. If you could see him like this, you’d tell him he looked like a painting; a statue, something too pretty to not be preserved. He stares up at the ceiling and lets himself get lost in the moment. His head swims. All he feels is you—the steady, hard stroke of your hand, and the pressure of your tongue on every perfectly sensitive nerve.

When he finally lifts his gaze to peek at you, you immediately look back, and your eyes lock. Neither of you seem to want to look away first, so Seungmin doesn’t. And you don’t. If anything, your stare intensifies as your hand and mouth work harder on him.

“Should I warn you?” he asks, and a shy laugh follows. “When I—“

You nod and pull him in again, not completely, but enough…a mouthful.

Seungmin is still holding out, but he can’t do it much longer, especially now that he’s looking down at you and watching every movement you make. It’s an overwhelming feeling.

The last time the two of you had sex, it was so intimate, and it was slow, and he almost doubted you for the briefest moment beforehand. But then you told him you loved him, and he was so relieved you stopped his mouth from saying anything stupid in that moment. Or not saying anything at all, because he just can’t get the words out even if he feels it.

But he is thinking and feeling it now as he watches you. And he feels himself getting there, and he can’t hold it back any longer.

“I’m gonna come…I’m gonna come”

He lets go and you hold him tight, work your mouth gently up and down as he empties himself for you—swallow, lighten your touch, kiss across his head. His hips relax again, and you move your mouth to the softest part of his thigh.

He just watches you kiss up his hip and stomach, and he wonders how long you’ll take to get to his lips, because that’s where he wants you. Until you get to his nipple. Now Seungmin hopes you’ll stay there a little longer, and you do. He’s even more sensitive than he was before, and you feel the goosebumps that jump up all over him.

“Now what?” he asks just as press your lips to his.

“We eat lunch. I’m so hungry.”

｡˚☽˚｡⋆

Every hour you get with him is special, and you take care to remember that whenever he’s here with you. This time it was four. Four perfect hours. Seungmin continued to ignore his phone when, eventually, you both got yourselves off of the couch.

He made you coffee, and he finished the one you made for him.

You ordered and ate lunch, helped him do his laundry and playfully scrutinized his folding techniques. And then you helped him pack.

It’s in the middle of this that he finally checks his notifications, and he takes his time doing it. You watch closely as his eyes move up and down the screen, and then he types and waits for another message to come through.

“Did you get everything you need?”

You just need to break the silence. There’s not much here that belongs to him...not yet at least.

Seungmin leans in to kiss your cheek, “yeah, I think so. My ride is on the way.”

“Oh…we should get you zipped up and ready to go.”

“We should?”

“No,” you stand and hold your hands out for him. “Maybe.”

His phone buzzes in his pocket as you head for the front door. He doesn’t check it—instead he drops his bag and works on getting into his shoes. “I think he’s here,” he checks after a second buzz, picks up his bag again, then sets it back down when he looks at you, “come here.”

You’re already halfway to him when he says it, and you squeeze the air out of his lungs

“Be safe, and don’t forget about me”

“Forget about you? I won’t if you remember to text me all day.”

“I don’t wanna bother you too much”

“I better have a text waiting for me every night when I get off the stage…no, a voice message. Both.” His hands rub in big circles over your back and shoulders.

Another buzz from his pocket.

His arms slip away, but he goes in for a kiss, and Seungmin lets you hold him there for as long as you want. You grab his hand and hold it as he unlatches the locks, squeeze tighter when he turns the knob and clicks the door free.

“I’ll see you soon”

“Seungmin?”

You stare at him, and one by one your fingers begin to unhook until only your middle fingers remain. The words just don’t want to come out. Even as you repeat them over in your head, when you open your mouth, it’s only air.

His other hand tickles beneath your chin, almost like he's coaxing it out of you. "You alright?"

"Yeah”

“Yeah?”

“I love you”

His mouth opens, but nothing comes out. A blush rises up his neck, and you can see his vein jump. But he still doesn’t say anything.

“I…uhm-“

Seungmin pulls you against him, and his hands are all over you again, moving gently over your back, down, until one sneaks under your shirt. He presses his warm palm against your skin and keeps it there.

“—I miss you already”

Still no reply, just a soft, sweet laugh against your ear. He pulls back and places a wet kiss on your forehead, then his bag is over his shoulder and his hand is on the doorknob again.

“I’ll call you as soon as we land, I promise”

｡˚☽˚｡⋆

March

｡˚☽˚｡⋆

May

“I know you’ve been busy, you don’t have to explain yourself,” you can barely hear him grumbling, “and don’t apologize.”

“Please”

Both of you are silent, but there’s still commotion on Seungmin’s end. Endless voices, an intercom, kids screaming. He’s at an airport somewhere.

“Okay, you can do it once. Only once.”

“I’m sorry I’m sorry…I won’t see you for a few more days.”

“It’s alright, Minnie. I’ll be at work, I’ll have plenty to keep me busy, I promise.”

“I’ll make it up to you, somehow. Is there anything I can bring home for you? I’ll find you something anyway.”

“No, I don’t need anything. Just you and your dirty laundry.”

Seungmin laughs, and that’s enough of a gift. You hear one of the others teasing him, but you can’t tell who it is, and he laughs again, tells them to stop being nosy. You figured one of the others knew about you, and that confirmed it.

“Give meeee…” he thinks and hums, “three days. How does that sound?”

“Tuesday? Okay I’ll see you a Tuesday.”

He sighs and fumbles with his things, and it sounds like he almost drops his phone, “you’ll be at work.”

The worry and uneasiness in his voice is too much, but you know now matter what you say, he’ll feel bad—he’ll feel guilty.

“Just tell me when, and I’ll be there to greet you.”

｡˚☽˚｡⋆

June

“We’re okay, right?” Seungmin is standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. His back is to you, but you still hear his soft voice. It almost sounds like he's not talking to you, like he's speaking to someone else in front of him, like he doesn't really want you to hear.

And you’re not sure why he would even ask you that, because as far as you know, yeah, you’re okay. The two of you are the same as you've ever been. He just got home a few hours ago, though, and he’s been a little quieter than usual.

“I think so,” you watch him carefully, but he doesn’t move from his spot. “I mean…I’m okay. Are you okay, Min?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Anything you wanna talk about?”

From where you’re sitting, you can see him slowly shake his head, slump his shoulders a little, and drink his coffee. He’s tired, and he needs to sleep. Maybe talking can wait until after he’s gotten some rest.

“Come sit with me. Please.”

He rubs at his neck and turns to face you, and he looks…off. He didn’t look quite like that this morning when he came through the door. And he still isn’t getting any closer to you.

“Baby, what’s the matter?”

Finally he starts toward you, but he doesn’t look happy about it. His head falls back and you can see him scrunch his nose at the air, “I’m okay.” He sits down next to you and sinks back into the couch.

“Maybe you should get some sleep.”

“I’m not tired.”

His voice is still soft, but he says it quickly and with no thought. He sounds annoyed, and you’re not sure how to take it, or reply. He’s been gone for a while—either away or just so busy that he couldn’t get away to even see you. You haven’t seen him face to face since the 23rd of May, and you only spent the night together—he’s been spending every night for the last few weeks at his dorm.

And he is tired. He can tell you whatever he wants, but you know him well enough to hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes. They’re in the middle of a comeback, so you’re actually surprised he showed up this morning, unannounced.

“Okay, okay I’m sorry.”

He looks at you, eyes heavy. It feels like he’s looking right through you and at the wall. For the first time, you’re unsure about leaning forward and kissing him, or grabbing his hand.

The quiet between you continues, and the longer it goes on, the harder it is to break. Seungmin closes his eyes and lets out a deep breath, sinks even further into the couch. You sit back on the other end and try not to look at him. Instead, you look at your phone. Stare blankly at it. There’s nothing there you want to see. You have him here with you, and he’s the only thing you want.

The last time you sat together here on the couch, he was cuddled on top of you, unable to sleep, but trying to relax. Humming happily against your chest, rubbing his hand over your arm. You think back to greeting him at the door this morning—he kissed you on the lips, pecked you on the cheek, then disappeared into the bedroom with his things.

The sinking feeling in your stomach gets even worse.

His eyes are still closed, at least. When you rise from your spot on the couch and head for the kitchen, he does exactly what you hope he does—it only takes a few minutes until he folds himself up and gets comfortable. And you know when he’s fast asleep, you can see it in the way his body rises and falls so steadily with his breath, and how his fingers twitch every so often.

Now you just have to hope everything is okay when he wakes up.

｡˚☽˚｡⋆

"Hey...hi."

Seungmin is peeking around through the crack in the bedroom door. You closed yourself in there so the living room would be silent for him. And you know when he finally woke he was groggy, confused by the dark, and by the quiet. There are so many windows in there, but you made sure to pull every curtain shut tight.

"Can I come in?" His voice is still small.

You give him a nod, and he immediately steps in and pushes the door most of the way closed. A half finished water bottle swings from his hand, his bare feet shuffle a little on the carpet. He seems to be avoiding your gaze as he makes his way to his side of the bed. Carefully, he climbs on—trying not to disturb the papers you have strewn around—curls up into a ball like he did on the couch, and even though it's warm, he gets all the way under the blanket.

"You wanna talk yet? We don't have to…but...“

You told each other you’d always talk and be open, even on the bad days. Especially on the bad days. Seungmin is having one (or several) of those, and he’s obviously struggling. He has spoken to you openly about his feelings before, so you know he’s capable. You just wonder if he will this time.

“I’m your person, remember? You can give me some of what you’re feeling. Whatever is going on in here…” You set your palm on his forehead, run your fingers through his hair. He relaxes, but still doesn’t talk or move as you gather up your things, set them aside, and get under the covers with him. There’s a moment of hesitation and a little jump in your stomach, but eventually you reach for and grab his hand. He doesn’t pull away, and you’re relieved when he squeezes his fingers around yours. “You can tell me.”

“Mm…I’m not sure.”

“Not sure what’s going on in here?” You rub his temple and a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “That’s okay.”

“I do…but I don’t.”

“Is it work?”

“Sometimes.” He looks at you. “You’re right, I’m very tired. I’m sorry.”

“Is it just that… just worn out? It seems like more.”

Seungmin squeezes your fingers again. “We have been doing so much, I have been…I don’t feel like I’m doing my best.”

Being hard on himself is not new, to him or to you. But he’s usually able to see through it and pull himself up, keep going, push forward.

Everything lately, and you’ve kept up with every single comeback moment, performance, interview, etc…has been exhausting as a spectator. You can’t imagine being him. You can’t put yourself in his place. The amount of eyes on him, and the criticism—you could never handle it.

“Oh, pup…I wish I could make those feelings go away. You do so well, all the time.”

He moves closer to you, puts your arm around his waist. You squeeze him until he finds a good spot and nuzzles against you, but he’s still tense.

“I know I’m biased and you might not believe me, but I watch you all the time. Only you. And you’ve been amazing every single day. Did you go back and listen to yourself singing Laundry?”

He nods against you, hums a little mhm.

“You sounded beautiful. And you looked like a prince.”

“I do believe that you’re biased,” Seungmin laughs a little into your neck, “I’m glad you think I did well, thank you.”

“It’s not an opinion, Minnie. It’s the truth. And I know there’s more. You’re always hard on yourself, but you’ve never come home like this.”

Seungmin squeezes himself even harder against you—face in your neck, legs twisted with yours, air being forced out of your lungs by his grip. He groans loudly as he softens his hold.

“Why did you ask if we were okay earlier?”

He goes right back into your neck and sighs.

“…Seungmin.”

Another muffled sigh, a groan. “I’m just being stupid.”

“You’re not being stupid if something is upsetting you.”

“My sister accidentally told an old school friend of mine about us. She didn’t believe her, she said this would be worse than a long distance relationship, and something like this is silly and would never last.”

“Silly?” You take him by his shoulders and force him out. You need to look at him. “Us?”

Seungmin nods and looks anywhere but at you. “She said it’s just a matter of time before you lose interest in me. We spend too much time apart, and it’s not normal.” He pulls the covers up to his chin and pushes himself down. Now all you can see is his eyes, his forehead, and his blond hair spread across the pillow. “I ignored it, but then I didn’t hear from you yesterday, or the day before so I started thinking about it too much. And we haven’t seen each other at all lately, I’m so exhausted, and I feel like I’m not doing well enough. I’m not a good boyfriend.”

“Oh…” his words, no matter how softly he speaks, knock the wind out of you. You think back to yesterday, the text you typed and didn’t see sitting in the message box, unsent, until very late last night. And the day before…you were at work for twelve hours, but figured Seungmin was so busy anyway. “Oh, Min…I’m so sorry I didn’t text you. But none of that is true.”

The room feels warmer, but it’s not. You’re just angry at yourself for leaving him on read. You push the covers away from both of you and plant kisses all over his face, “I love you more every time I see you, or hear your voice,” you move your lips gently over his ear, making him giggle, “even if I’m an idiot and forget to send a text.”

“I was starting to think I was away too long.”

“You have been gone too long, and I’ve missed you, but you’re gonna have to do a lot more than that. I haven’t forgotten how long I went without you after we first met.”

Seungmin covers his face with both hands, but his hesitant smile is peeking out beneath it. He runs a hand through his hair, flips onto his back, and kicks the blankets away. “Don’t remind me.”

“Don’t ever say you’re not good enough.”

The look on his face is still unsure. He’s staring up at the wall, blinking slowly. Lost in thought, maybe.

“I think we’ve done pretty okay so far.”

“I know you could find someone to be with you every day if you wanted, and you deserve that.”

You reach out and grab his hand again, “finding someone isn’t easy, and finding someone like you is…impossible. I’d take this over any of my past together-every-day relationships.”

Seungmin looks you up and down, settles his gaze on your face, and rolls over until he’s hanging over you, “yeah?”

“That didn’t make the relationship good. You make this good.”

Lips graze your cheek—he kisses softly down to your jaw, and across your neck, “good,” he sighs when your fingers run through his hair, and he collapses onto you. He mumbles something into your neck.

“Hm?”

“Did you call me…pup?” He’s smiling fully for the first time all day, beaming at you. A completely different person from earlier.

"Yeah, I've never called you that before? I’m pretty sure I have”

"I don't remember, but I like it.”

｡˚☽˚｡⋆

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Lil Kalish at HuffPost:

When Heather Crawford walked into a Minnesota public school to enroll her teenager in August 2022, she was ready for a fight. More than anything, she wanted her then-15-year-old, Cass, who is nonbinary and trans, to be safe at school, to have their name and pronouns respected, and to be able to use the restroom without fear. The school registrar told Crawford not to worry and handed her a form where she could note Cass’ pronouns for the school’s records. “I was ready for a fistfight, and it was just as simple as a piece of paper,” Crawford said, recalling that she felt such a wave of relief that she broke down crying in the office. “It’s so fantastic knowing that the state is not only not actively trying to harm my child but is actively trying to protect them,” she added. “It’s comforting on a level I can’t really fully articulate.” The Crawfords had uprooted their entire lives to move from Austin, Texas, to St. Paul, Minnesota, after years of watching Texas Republicans enact increasingly hostile policies targeting trans kids. They worried their family might be next.

The final straw for Crawford came in February 2022, when Texas Gov. Greg Abbott (R) directed Texas’ child protective services to perform “child abuse” investigations against parents who helped their children get gender-affirming care. Until then, Cass and their parents had been working with a pediatric gender care doctor in Austin who prescribed medication to suppress Cass’ menstrual cycle. Cass, who uses both they and he pronouns, dreamed about getting top surgery. They also wanted to start testosterone but had to wait to make sure they weren’t at risk for a genetic cancer that was triggered by changes in hormones. Crawford was frightened that her support of this care could put Cass and their family at risk from Texas officials. She set her eyes on Minnesota in part because of dozens of progressive and trans-inclusive policies championed by Gov. Tim Walz (D), who took the national stage last week when Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris announced him as her running mate.

Crawford’s friends had gushed to her about Walz, a former teacher and veteran with a track record of supporting LGBTQ+ rights dating back to at least 1999 when he became the first faculty adviser for a high school’s gay-straight alliance. Minnesota had long been praised as one of the most LGBTQ-friendly places in the Midwest. In 1993, it became the first state in the country to outlaw discrimination based on sexual orientation. In 2021, as anti-LGBTQ+ legislation reached a record high in state legislatures across the country, Walz, who was finishing up his first term as governor, signed an executive order banning conversion therapy. “Our kids deserve to grow up in a state that values them for who they are — not one that tries to change them,” he said in a statement at the time.

Last year, Walz helped enact further protections for transgender youth who were traveling to Minnesota for their health care. He signed an executive order to protect access to gender-affirming care for out-of-state patients, their families and medical providers. Walz also signed a trio of bills that further safeguarded access to abortion, banned conversion therapy and made Minnesota into a “trans refuge.” The state currently boasts the largest number of openly LGBTQ+ legislators in state history, and they make up the “queer caucus” that advocated heavily for policies that Walz later signed. Crawford, who is now a vocal advocate for trans youth, admits she hasn’t always been supportive. When Cass first came out in 2019, she reacted “as badly as you can.” But after Cass attempted suicide that year, she saw how wrong she was and worked to help Cass socially transition, legally change their name and receive bathroom accommodations at school.

This HuffPost article on how Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz (D) turned his state into a bulwark of trans safe refuge in the Midwest hits the jackpot, including a story on a Texas couple moving to the Land of 10,000 Lakes to protect the safety of their trans child.

[itslouisan]

Philza specific Headcannons: Philza Minecraft timeline.

Heyo Tumblr, back with my third post on C!Phil, this time I'll elaborate on my takes on some of my timelines for Philza since it's complex and full of detail I could analysis, MAYBE I'll separate this all in 2 posts: pre-DSMP and AFTER-DSMP, well let's go!

timeline for c!philza:

(nothing official, this is MY interpretation on his events and lore connecting and stitching everything together)

The beginning:

Okay this starts with the icarus animatic made OFFICIALLY for his lore by Maepletea

In this we can agree Philza was originally a human, however, in my interpretation, Phil always had a connection to crows, living in an isolated shack (which makes me believe he was always a isolated and introverted person wanting to stay away from any trouble and people), his obsession for flying, possibly in my view seeing he understood the crows just like they got him. Worth noting in the end of the animatic he was saved by Mumza and implied perhaps SHE granted his wings and avian side and supposed immortality, so you can say from HERE Phil is the one avian old man we know and love, before being just a plain human with nothing special or perhaps affinity with paranormal, crows, death and deities. Being alone but FEELING/SEEING something else and knowing the existence of something more such as The End (which would explain why Enderking has a liking to him, he is more than any other avian or human, he can see, understand and be in a equal foot with the deities having their favor).

Hardcore season 2:

Okay, let's start with season 2 since I think season 1 has no lore or hints we could use to this analysis, in season 2 we are introduced to the deities, but the most important is Rose and Enderking since they will be REALLY important to future events.

In here Phil is ALREADY an avian, we can see he can ALREADY interact with the deities and probably is already recognized as The Angel of Death, meaning in here in the middle of the season perhaps he got together with Kristin as a representant/warrior for her or Soul reaper, I think they'd only be together in season 4 (due to irl events where if I'm certain Phil married Kristin in 2020/2021, since it's CREEPY to assume when they started dating let's say mid season 2 they start to date AS CHARACTERS)

And before we finish for season 2 for now, we should mention Ender King was already attacking the overworld and nether in season 2, perhaps here being when Philza first made contact with him ON A NEGATIVE WAY, the end of season 2 I interpret death as Phil SMALL PIECE of his Soul being killed but Kristin helps him again to stay alive with immortality, but before that he stayed in a species of dream before recover which is

Season 3: the dream

The beach episode of Philza Minecraft, just a dream in transition from season 2 to 4

Season 4: the current moment

Okay I'll talk about EarthSMP and Origins in another post, what I need to focus is on QSMP and DSMP for this part

In here, the conflict between the deities rose, Enderking finally making a war against all others, resulting in Endlantis, we have flowerfall as well in a conflict between Ocean overlordand Enderking and the Nethervoid in conflict between Blaze empress and Enderking, what does Phil have to do with it? In one way or another, Phil sided and made allies with the deities, which would save his life later on, but also, this could be the moment the Enderking noticed how STRONG Phil can truly be and how he could make a good vessel because Phil even if slightly is a greedy person.

In here we also have Philza marriage to Mumza, and we could say it was in here that he adopted Techno, C!Wilbur and Tommy, next is a bit of a personal interpretation and hc, but Phil adopted Techno in the beginning of season 4 in the nether preparing for going to the end, C!Wilbur is the biological child between him and Mumza (proven with DSMP) and Tommy was adopted pre-pogtopia on the DSMP.

This shows the beginning of the SBI truly but also conforming:

• Techno is the oldest kid and probably the one most loyal to Phil due to seeing all Phil's struggles plus a "favorite"' due to Techno loyalty and never letting Phil down and vice-versa

• Wilbur is the middle kid, which only had a stronger bond with Tommy, wasn't THAT loyal to Phil but still got his approval and protection

• Tommy is just the youngest and lost kid, Phil probably loving him just as much, but not accepting Tommy actions towards them, especially Techno, and for being young and naive, Phil wouldn't hold back to correct Tommy, no matter how Tommy interpreted it.

We can also finish this section by saying in all this, this was the moment Philza perfected his war skills he'd use later on in his life, all thanks to seasons 2 and 4

Also worth noting QSMP is a Philza dream, but Q!Phil, C!Phil and Hardcore!Phil are all the same people, you could say only QSMP is a dream and DSMP was real, but that would mess stuff too much, for this analysis and finishing this post for now, let's divide this into 2 timelines, the REAL world timeline and the Dream world/alternative Philza timelines which could be real but only in a different universe, which leaves us with this order:

Real world: hardcore --> EarthSMP --> DSMP

Dream world/alternative universes: real world timeline then we mix and it --> OriginsSMP --> QSMP

Or, we could separate origins as something else entirely and make:

Dsmp --> QSMP

But FOR NOW, this is part 1 of my Philza timeline... WHICH IS A MESS BUT OH WELL

[mirrorballhughes]

i miss you im sorry: luke hughes x adelaide hunter

hii i will be starting to write the actual fic soon! this is just gonna be a small portion of the fic on ade and luke going to UMich and meeting the hockey team :)

spring of 2021

the couple was at the hughes household with their college acceptance letters in hand. luke and adelaide were sitting at the table holding hands. adelaide was nervous, she gets good grades so she has nothing to worry about, but shes just scared of lukes reaction. the girls dream was to go to academy of arts university, that was allll way in new york. but she had some thoughts and over thought a bunch. quinn had helped ade with her decision.

fall of 2020 flashback

“academy of arts university is perfect for me q. but at the same time i think i would hate it. i just don’t think i could be away from luke.” the girl admitted, knowing quinn understands where she is coming from. the teenagers were always attached to the hip, unless they were both doing their own things. “adelaide thats totally understandable. you gotta go with your gut though. but to not be bias or anything i think you would fit in at UMich though.” quinn smiled, causing the brunette to shake her head. “they also have an arts program. a good fit for you.” ade smiled at the older boy, taking his thought into consideration, already having Umich right underneath AOAU. “thanks q. i appreciate it.” the girl hugged the boy as he rubbed circles on her back.

back to spring of 2021

“on three?” luke smiled looking at his girlfriend, then down at his letter. hughes & hunter family both counted down, “three!” the couple rushed into the envelopes going as quickly as possible. pulling the piece of paper out, reading their letters. “i got in!” they couple stood up looking at each other excitedly. “im going to UMich!” they both said at the same time, adelaide shot quinn a smile then brought her attention to luke, who didn’t comprehend what the brunette had said till it finally hit him.

“wait el, your also going to UMich? what about AOAU?” the boy questioned looking at his girlfriend. “new york is pretty far. also i feel like i wouldn’t like it. andd if i wear anything devils related i might get jumped.” she joked, causing everyone in the room to laugh, jack shaking his head at the younger girl. “i looked into it. they have a pretty awesome arts program. they were also interested in me because i used to be a field hockey player.” the girl said, causing luke to smile at el, pulling her in for a hug. “i'm excited ill be able to see you more! that means movie nights in dorms!” ade smiled, pulling her boyfriend in for a kiss on the lips, pulling away quickly as they were in front of family.

“well congratulations to you both! UMich will be honored to have you both!!” ellen pulled the couple in for a hug. they went around giving everyone a hug, ade whispered a quick thank you to quinn. “now whos hungry?”

august of 2021

summer came by fast and here the couple was now standing in the UMich campus going to find ades dorm first. the couple had found her dorm, walking in seeing her roommate wasn’t here yet. “okay let's get unpacking!” the girl cheered, looking at her boyfriend then to their fathers. quinn, jack and their moms were still at the car grabbing more of the girls' things. luke set down some boxes that he was carrying then started helping the girl set her side of the room up. they finished unpacking everything, their mothers did the last finishing touches and told them to go find lukes dorm.

adelaide found the curly haired boys dorm, “it’s down here!” she shouted waving her arms to get the group’s attention. their dorms weren’t that far from each others, lukes was on the same side as adelaide’s but in a different hallway. once the group caught up, adelaide opened the door and let luke walk in first. she followed behind him, seeing his roommate was unpacking as well. “oh hey! you must be luke, im dylan” the other brunette spoke, reaching his hand out for luke to shake it. “its nice to meet you. this is adelaide, my girlfriend.” luke pointed at the girl who waved. “its nice to meet you adelaide.” “its nice to meet you too dylan!” the pair smiled at each other then adelaide started moving lukes stuff in with the help of his brothers.

few weeks later

the couple was definitely enjoying UMich alot. they both met a ton of people and they were as happy as ever. luke wanted adelaide to come meet the hockey team, she was a bit nervous but not really. luke had met the girl at her dorm then headed to diner where the rest of the team was at. “don't be nervous love. they will love you.” luke grabbed the girls hand, noticing her shaking a little. he rubbed circles on the top of her hand to sooth her anxiety. “you got nothing to worry about. i'm here.” the girl smiled, kissing the boy's cheek as they headed down to the boy's car.

about 15 minutes later the couple was now at the diner. luke got out of the car, quickly making his way over to els side, opening the door for her as he took her hand. “if you wanna leave just squeeze my hand twice and we will go.” the boy kissed her forehead as she nodded, then they walked inside. “luke! over here!” a voice spoke causing adelaide to look up seeing a bunch of waving hands. luke smiled at his teammates then to the girl walking over there. “hey guys! this is adelaide.” the blonde smiled looking at the guys, there was about 4 people here. luke said there was 29 people on the team, counting him so the rest did not show. also by the looks of it, they are all freshmen and their faces look familiar ish.

“okay so el, this is ethan, mark, mackie and you already know duker.” she smiled at the four boys, “hi it’s nice to meet you guys. i have seen you guys around i think.” ethan smirked at the girl then to mark whose face was beat red. “what's up with estapa?” luke asked as the boy was usually hyper and talking. “well you see luke, mark was telling me about his hallway crush as he usually does right? he said she was wearing a devil's hoodie. so connecting the dots here, marks hallway crush is on your girlfriend.” mark glared at ethan, “dude!” the rest of the boys laughed, adelaide’s face got a slight tint of pink as she laughed along with them. the group got quiet realizing luke wasn’t laughing instead he was shooting daggers at mark. ethan grabbed luke and pulled him aside. “i can see the smoke exploding out of your ears right now hughesy. its just a hallway crush! nothing is gonna happen. look at the way she looks at you. she's madly in love with you.” the brunette boy reassured him as they made their way back over.

“you okay? it’s just a hallway crush. we all have them. i remember you had the biggest one on-“ adelaide stopped talking as she realized luke covered her mouth with his hand. “okay that's enough. let's eat i'm hungry.” he gently pushed his girlfriend into the booth sitting beside her. as the other 4 settled in with them, 3 on the other side and one more joining the couple. lukes hand rested on the girls thigh, watching her talk to his friends smiling to himself. luke was happy to see his friends and girlfriend get along so well. it just warmed his heart seeing his girlfriend smiling and laughing.

random facts

adelaide becomes close with mark but she only sees him as a friend and so does he. that sparkle in her eye is literally only a luke thing. but the pair just got along so well once mark stopped being embarrassed about having a hallway crush on his friend's girlfriend.

addie is also close with duker, giving the fact luke goes on mini rants about the girl in a positive manner so he knows pretty much everything about her because of the hughes brother. the pair also does tend to hangout a lot when the girl is waiting for her boyfriend to come back to his dorm after classes. out of all of luke's friends duker definitely knows her the best.

addies roommate, storm they clicked instantly. they got along so well when storm saw adelaide was wearing a devils hoodie, which made storm laugh as she was a canes fan. the pair would always sit down and watch their teams games together and always enjoyed when they played against each other. storm could basically tell you everything about luke as well. she could listen to adelaide talk about him for hours because she knew that was pure genuine love. storm was an absolute blessing of a roommate and friend. the two girls just got along so well.

storm and duker being friends only because of their roommates, they usually go on debriefing starbucks talks about the couple. the debriefing starbucks runs were only when the pair was fighting, meaning they would try to get to the bottom of the whole thing seeing who was right, who was wrong, and how to fix it. they were the ones who basically got the couple back together, they came up with this whole mastermind plan.

as adelaide was going to umich with the arts program, she was taking a bunch of classes for photography. she needed a subject to shoot so she decided to use her boyfriend as one. so during their morning practices the blonde would take some action shots of her boyfriend. as she was taking pictures of luke, some of the others caught her eye so she took pictures of them as well. she handed in the pictures to get graded on, as that was happening luke had talked to the coach to see if el could be on the ice hockey's media team.

the coach needed to see the pictures to make his decision. once she got the grade A photos back let the coach take a look at them. he approved it and then made el the media girl. she would take pictures of the team and do all the video work for any social media. sometimes she would also get to post on the ice hockeys socials at times. this made el feel closer with luke. she already knew tons about hockey before but this just opened something more inside her. she also felt this helped her get closer with his teammates, and luke really adored that.

if you guys want any extras like, certain scenarios (ex. how both of the couple are when they are jealous, how adelaide’s relationship is with quinn and jack, what songs are about luke and why, the couples reaction when luke got drafted, them at parties, hiw they got together, angst of any kind. anything like that!) but i hope you guys are enjoying this!! im having fun writting this :)

[sunshine304]

New Fanbinding! Two fics by KouriArashi

Now that the gift copies for @gingersnapwolves have arrived (and how quick the post was this time, I'm in awe!), I can post about my latest fanbinding project.

I had decided on binding both fics about, uhm, two years ago? XD I love all of Kouri's CQL fics; she's actually the reason I started watching the show in the first place, so it was a no-brainer to bind some of her fics!

I think I did the typset for "The Way It Wasn't" in 2021 but I had a specific design idea for the case in mind and didn't feel confident to tackle that just yet, so the printed version sat around for... a while. Sometime after that, I did the typeset for "Picking Up the Pieces", which took longer because of the photo edits.

I finally got around to actually making the books in May and I'm very pleased with the results, though there were a lot of stumbling blocks in both projects and I'm actually surprised that the finished books look good. XD I was sure I'd case in the block upside down after all the other mishaps, but at least I didn't do that. XD (I might have checked each book like five times, though... just in case. XD)

More pictures and info about the process behind the cut.

The books are supposed to be the first in a series of 5, each focussing on one of the great sects, and so I decided to use the same basic design ideas: colour-coded for the sect, the cut-out on the front, the little graphic on the back, same brand of Parisian marbled paper, frontispiece depicting the location, sect logo as title page, same design for titling on the spine.

For some reason, my camera refuses to really catch the foil colour from "Picking Up the Pieces" on the titling - it's a light pink/ rosé coloured foil.

The planned design for that book really caused me quite some grief, because it turned out that the foil I'd wanted to use (a light lilac one) did not work on this kind of book cloth. It's only for using a laminator / hot iron and so also doesn't work on paper with a foil pen.

I changed the colours for that books so often, going to a coated lilac cloth (where the foil works because it's coated...) but that didn't look good with the light coloured paper I used with the logo (no contrast), so I went back to this cloth and went looking for another foil. I tried rosegold which was okay, but then I lucked out and got the light pink one at a local shop.

For "The Way It Wasn't", I used a lot of official art:

For "Picking Up th Pieces", I used a mix of (edited) official art and photo edits I made myself. The "problem" of this fic is that Lan Wangji starts living at Lotus Pier, wearing Jiang colours most of the time and no forehead ribbon.

Also, Jiang Yanli is now sect leader and needed some fancy clothes. Luckily, Xuan Lu has acted in a lot of dramas recently where she wore some more dramatic robes that would fit a sect leader. I had to do colour edits of the robes at times and at one point had to photoshop Lan Wangji into a picture with her. My old Photoshop did not like all of this but I managed in the end. XD

I'm pleased with the results and might make a post with the photo edits at one point.

I also asked Kouri about her fancast for the OC Yu Zhiyi; that was a while ago. I wanted to include a picture of the character but didn't want to choose someone at random if Kouri already had someone in mind. Of course, I never mentioned that this was for the book; it was supposed to be a surprise after all! ;D

I'm really pleased with how the books turned out, especially considering all the stuff that went wrong in making the cases... XD I guess I can say I learned some things? XD

It's always fun if you mess up something on one case and think, "Ah well, this will be my copy then, I guess!" and then you mess up even worse on the other case! XD So Kouri got the book with more air bubbles in the logo because on the other case, the title was crooked. Argh!

I added some ornaments to distract a bit from that. It's also important to know that I'm a bit OCD about titles and stuff being crooked, I just hate it. This was a very sad moment for me.

But that's always the danger when fumbling around with that flimsy foil and the print-out. I'll live! :D

Materials used:

Printed on Clairefontaine Papago 80g (TWIW) and Clairefontaine DCP 100g (PUTP)

Case + endpapers "The Way It Wasn't":

- booklinen Brillianta - French marbled paper 120g - craft paper - hot foil (on brand)

Case + endpapers "Picking Up the Pieces":

- booklinen Imperial - French marbled paper 120g - Rössler letter paper 100g - hot foil (cheap stuff)

[lauju023red]

The Bones and all shoot 1

Part 2

There will be more parts coming maybe 2-5

Summary:[Y/N] will play Maren Yearly in Bones and all and will meet Timothée there.

Words: 807

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Okay one breath. In and out. That was my last thought before I go to new movie shoot. This movie is my chance to be a big actress.

Now is the big time for me. After a long casting and waiting I was finally chosen as Maren Yearly. And I will be working with one of my favorite directors, Luca Guadagnino.

This year 2021 we finally got the go to shoot. For the begin we travel to Ohio.

I'm sitting on the plane and waiting for things to finally continue. The script is in my hand. Luca sent it to me and said "don't stress and stay relaxed. Nobody was perfect straight away." But when I wanted to ask him who my co-workers were, he just shrugged his shoulders and said "you'll see."

For the first 5 minutes I tried to continue reading the script. But my eyes got heavier and closed.

"We'll be landing shortly, please fasten your seat belts again." This announcement woke me up. It wasn't long before I was back on solid ground. At the airport I quickly picked up my suitcase and went out.

10 feet from the airport was a black car with a man holding a sign with "[Y/N] [L/N]" on it. I took my suitcase and went to him. "Hi, I'm [Y/N]. Nice to meet you." He took a small piece of paper out of his pocket and looked at me and then at the paper. "The greeting is all mine [Y/N]"

He opened the door for me and took my suitcase. "Please sit down. We're going to the hotel now. Mr. Guadagnino is already waiting for you there." "Thank you, that's very kind of you." "That's my job." It wasn't long before we were on our way. I was starting to get nervous. What if I'm not the right person? Or my co-workers don't like me?

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It didn't take long, after 30 minutes we were already in front of the hotel. Luca was already standing at the door. He waved to me and opened my door. "[Y/N] my love, you're here! Come on, let's discuss the first few days that are coming up. With a cup of coffee, of course."

We put my suitcase away and sat down in the café next to the hotel. When we had both finished ordering, he turned to me "So this is how it will go. First we will transform you into Maren and you will meet the other actors and rehearse the first few scenes with them. All clear?" "Yeah, of course. So will I have to cut my hair?" "Yes, but it wasn't a problem for you, was it?" I shook my head. "No, of course not." I haven't cut my hair for years, so I'll have to get used to it.

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When we had finished our drinks, Luca said, "Okay [Y/N], we'll meet again in the lobby in two hours. Then we'll go to the trailers and you know what happens." I nod my head, "Yes. Thanks for everything, Luca." He smiled at me, "You're welcome. You're perfect for this role."

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After resting for 2 hours, I went down to the lobby. Luca was standing there waiting for me. "Hi Luca. Where are the others?" he turned to me. "The plane can't land. They'll come later. But don't worry. Everything will be fine." I nodded and got into the car that was supposed to take us to our trailers.

This trip was longer and took almost an hour. When we got out, everyone greeted Luca and we went to a certain trailer. A woman was waiting there. "This is Emma. She will be responsible for your make-up and hair." I stretched my arms out. "Hi Emma, ​​nice to meet you." She smiled at me. "Me too [Y/N], we're going to have a lot of fun. You can sit down. We'll start right away." I nodded and sat down. In the meantime, Luca prepared for the others' arrival.

Emma ran her hand through my hair. "So we're going to cut your hair to your shoulders and make bangs. Is that okay?" I nodded. "Okay, then let's get started." Emma started to put my hair in a loose braid. She cut it off. "That was the first cut. And also the hardest. Your hair was so long and wasn't even damaged." I laughed. "Yeah, I like long hair, I don't know why, but it's something special to me." She put a hand on my shoulder and winked at me. "Don't worry, it will grow back." We both had to laugh.

When I had finished the last cut, the door opened. Luca was standing there. "The others have arrived [Y/N]. And I would like to introduce you to your Lee.....Timothée."

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I hope you liked it, feel free to leave a heart ♡

[thenextdawn-temporarilyclosed]

One of Your Kind (CH. 4)

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10

Word count: 4.3 K

Summary: filming is going great so far, but after Jenna’s birthday you get a disturbing email that will cause issues on sets.

Warnings: hurt/comfort

Pairing: Jenna Ortega X Fem!Reader

———

September 2021

Filming for episode 1 would start soon and by far things were going smoothly. You and Tim had finished getting everything ready on the sets and luckily he trusted you enough to even realize how the scenes were gonna be shot. There would be quite a few stunts this first episode already, the fencing scene, the falling gargoyle scene, the climbing down from Kinbott’s office, the scene with the bullies and finally the scene where Rowan pushes Wednesday against the tree and by far everything was doing okay. Jenna wanted to do her stunts so she had a lot of training and she was putting a lot of pressure on herself, she wanted to interpret this role perfectly.

The scenes wouldn’t be shot in chronological order and since you started shooting at night, the Cello one was first. Jenna had been taking Cello lessons so she knew what to do. “Okay Jen this is how it is gonna go. While you play the cello and read the script the cameramen will be running recording around you, with drones as well to record scenes from above. We might need to make a few takes so hold on alright?” She nodded and smiled “I know how these scenes are shot (Y/N)” she said, maybe jokingly so. But even if you knew she was joking, you took it personally. You were too sensitive to critics now. “Right… ready to shoot?” She nodded and you went behind the scenes. “Action!” Tim yelled and Jenna started playing. For the piece to be made for two cellos, she was being really good at it. You and Tim watched it, and something didn’t sit right with both of you. So you shot it again and again, Jenna was getting nervous, comprehensive, she was tired.

However in the end it turned out alright, and everyone went to sleep for those two hours, while you went to set up for the next scene, the falling gargoyle scene. Everything was ready, this was probably the most dangerous stunt of the day, and Tim had pushed to have a stunt but Jenna didn’t want to. An actual stone gargoyle would be falling on her head and it was very, Very dangerous considering it would only be held up by a rope. The first shot was taken, the gargoyle held up mid air as Jenna stood under it while listening to Tim explain her the stunt. Just as you were waiting, you saw the rope starting to break from the weigh. That’s when you launched yourself at Jenna (basically doing the scene but off camera) and moved both of you away from the danger, as the gargoyle almost hit you while falling. You stood up and off of Jenna and speed-walked to the guy in charge of the falling gargoyle.

“I told you to use a more resistant rope! Now we don’t have another gargoyle, how are we gonna shoot this scene!?” You started angrily and the guy almost felt guilty, but everyone’s eyes were behind you. “(Y/N), a little help here?” You turned around to see Percy trying to pick up a passed out Jenna, probably from the impact when you tackled her. Now it was your turn to feel guilty. You helped him and brought her to the infirmary, where you held an ice pack on her head waiting for her to wake up, you seriously hoped you hadn’t hurt her, but you’d have the confirmation of that when she woke up. When she did, she sat up and you kept on holding the ice pack on the back of her head “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” You asked her hurriedly. “What happened?” She asked you “you know the scene where a gargoyle was supposed to drop on your head? Well, it actually dropped and was about to hit you, but I tackled you out of the way and you passed out, you hit your head and you have this huge bump… I’m sorry I hurt you” you sighed and Jenna took a hold of the ice pack, her hand brushing with yours as she held it on her head.

“Are you kidding me? You literally saved my life. Thank you” she said and smiled, making you smile as well, her smiles were literally the most genuine and cutest ones you had ever seen. “Woah, Wednesday smiling? I would have never thought I’d see her smile” she laughed and gently pushed you, you felt relieved now that she was alright and wasn’t hurt worst.

It was the next week when you realized: Jenna’s birthday would be tomorrow. Last year she had celebrated it on set and this year it would be the same, only one difference.. Last year you didn’t have to get her a present because you didn’t know her well yet, but this time you had to, and you were delirious… you didn’t know what to get her. Jewels? Hoodies? Headphones, maybe? Eventually you opted for a golden necklace from Tiffany&Co. you had seen her wear this brand before, and you hoped you didn’t get something she already has. She would be celebrating it at a bar and she invited you and the rest of the cast. As soon as you all arrived and were brought to a table you realized, they were gonna drink alcohol. You didn’t drink alcohol and most of the times you got pushed away for that, but you weren’t going to fall in that trap again, so you bought a beer, which you didn’t even like but tonight you had to, if you wanted to make some friends.

As you all sat down, you next to Jenna like always, she decided to open her presents before dinner and as she was opening packages, she decided to open yours in the end. She got casual things, hoodies being the main present. You knew she loved oversized hoodies, but you were glad you got her something different. As she took your gift she smiled brightly, seeing where it came from. “You didn’t…” she said, teeth showing with her smile as you shrugged and took in her appearance… she looked beautiful tonight. “Yes I did” you shrugged and she opened it, her jaw dropping as she saw the necklace. “I’ve been wanting to buy this necklace forever! Thank you so much” she said and hugged you tightly. You reciprocated the hug, smiling as you put your hand in the small of her back, keeping her close as you waited for her to move away because surely you weren’t going to let go first.

The night went on easily, as they all drank you kept taking small sips from your beer, not really enjoying it much but you didn’t want them to exclude you. “Okay guys, wanna play truth or dare?” It was Percy who asked, and watched as everyone agreed. They all had a pink shade on their cheeks, indicating that they were drunk. They were used to partying and having to go to work the next day but you weren’t, plus, you didn’t like alcohol. “Okay, Georgie you start,” Jenna said “truth or dare?” “Uhhnmmm… dare!” He said. “I dare you to…. Kiss Emma!” Wait, this is what they meant for truth or dare? Well in that case, you were going to pick truth. You didn’t really know anyone except for Jenna, and you didn’t want to kiss a stranger. You hadn’t even realized they kissed when you were snapped out of your thoughts. “(Y/N)! I dare you to kiss Jenna!” Wait, what? “But you didn’t even let me pick-“ he interrupted you “truths are boring anyway! Kiss Jenna!” He said and you sighed, face palming yourself.

“She’s drunk, I’m not gonna kiss someone who’s drunk” you didn’t even feel Jenna’s eyes on you as you were too busy trying to hide the blush that had crept up your face. “Boooo you’re boring.” It was Jenna who spoke this time, you turned to look at her only to notice she was pouting. “You’re drunk, Je-“ before you could finish she leaned up and gave you a small, quick kiss before sitting back at her place. The kiss was too quick to even think about how it felt, but You had frozen there, the blush in your face only increasing, you just had to hope that they were that drunk to not remember anything the following day- Jenna included. They went on with the game and only kept on drinking, and you tried telling them to drink less because they had to film the next day, but no one listened to you, of course.

As the night finally died down, you all were leaving the bar and Jenna was particularly drunk. “(Y/N)? Can you-“ she tried standing up but almost fell, she was lucky you were there to catch her and help her back to her feet “can you come to the bathroom with me?” You nodded “yeah sure. Guys can you wait for us?” You yelled at the others, but they as well were too drunk to even hear you. You sighed and helped her to the bathroom, staying outside of the cabin as you then called a cab, that would take the two of you back to the set and to your trailers. She was basically passed out as she held onto you and you carried her to bed, you heard her occasionally grunt from the headache, which would definitely be ten times worse the next morning. “I told you not to drink too much.. you sighed, and of course you got no reply.

As soon as you made it to her trailer, you sat her on her bed but she immediately fell backwards on the bed, fast asleep already but you managed to take off her jacket and shoes before you pulled the blankets on top of her. You decided it would be best to spend the night there and check on her so if she ever felt sick and had to throw up, you were there. You sleep on an armchair, you were sure to have a backache the next morning but you didn’t really care at the moment. Jenna did feel sick the next morning, and you woke up when you heard her run to the bathroom. You quickly rubbed your eyes and ran to the bathroom as well, going to hold her long, beautiful black hair back. You sighed as you did so “I told you to not get drunk…” you said and watched as she glared at you, which honestly, made you laugh.

———

October 2021

Halloween.

You always hated Halloween. In Italy it isn’t really celebrated like it is in the US, but still, you didn’t like it. Maybe it was because your parents never even let you carve a pumpkin or go trick or treating, and now you hated the whole concept of if. Luckily on set they weren’t really going to celebrate it, if not for the fact that the cast wanted to watch a horror movie and had invited you to watch it with them, and you had to agree. Unfortunately for you, they decided to watch Scream 5 (Jenna’s latest movie). You had watched the first movie and you were literally traumatized by ghostface, you knew it was all fake but still, you were scared of these things happening to you. As they all sat down (a few on the couch, some others on the floor) you sat down next to Jenna- hopefully so you could feel safe.

Just from the beginning you were flinching and covering your face as everyone else around you, except for Jenna, laughed. Jenna tried to reassure you that you were safe “hey, it’s over. See? There’s no ghostface, he can’t even get to us! You’re safe alright?” That’s what she kept telling you whenever you flinched from the jump scares. She was so sweet you had to say, she did make you feel safe and for once you enjoyed an horror movie.

A few days later you got an email- well, hundreds of email, each of them containing an article online. “The New Netflix series “Wednesday” has (Y/N)(L/N) as a director. Will this series be as bad as her movie? We just have to wait and see” the article basically only criticized you, putting this show under a bad light. Luckily you were in your trailer when you broke down, and no one could see you. Everyone was so excited for this series and now it was all gonna be criticized because of your presence… your parents had told you that you were good at nothing, and they were right after all, you were good at nothing. The only movie you directed sucked, and now you were here being criticized, and scared as hell to do something wrong.

That’s why the next day you decided to go on an interview, it was the kind where you’ll only get criticized and insulted and you knew that, but you had to go, that’s why the next day you took the whole afternoon off, without saying why though as you went for said interview. Were you scared? Yes, shitless but you had to think about the show’s reputation first. As you arrived and made your way onto the stage, obviously you didn’t get the applauses. You had never seen these kind of interviews but you definitely knew that it wasn’t anything pleasant, it was hell, and you would have never figured out that you’d end up in this situation.

“Okay, first of all I would like to thank you for coming, I know this is not very pleasant” the interviewer said, to which you nodded giving a small, nervous smile. “You’re a really young movie director and there’s already lots of questions for you. Let’s go with the first one.” He said and watched how he read through his questions “so, what got you to make that first movie of yours?” You gulped and brought the microphone closer to your mouth. “Well the creators had a low budget and since I had no experience and no “fame” if you could say so, they picked me. I guess they had high expectations seeing how The Fallout turned out, the few scenes I directed were really nice” he said, and then went on with his questions “why did you write it that badly then?” The question was really direct and it caught you unprepared, you definitely took a while to reply “I didn’t write it badly. The plot itself was nice. But I was younger, I had less experiences and I was nervous. The staff followed my orders and it’s pretty clear that I ordered them wrongly.”

You could hear murmurs in the room get louder as the interviewer nodded at your reply and looked for another question. “Why did you chose those actors?” “I think that this is an obvious question. They definitely have talent, that’s indeed but I’m sorry that now they have their resume dirtied by that movie” the other question came pretty soon “then why did you decide to be a co director for the new Netflix series, Wednesday? Aren’t you scared you’re going to dirty these actors’s resume too?” You sighed and looked down, you were starting to get even more nervous and your legs started trembling with Anxiety. “Yes I am scared. But as you said, I’m a co-director, I’m not the only one working on this series, I’m with Tim Burton who you all know. He ASKED me to be his right shoulder and he’s a great teacher, I’m pretty sure that the work will turn out great” you said, but then a comment from the crowd echoed in the room. “Yeah, if your name’s not on it”

That was the last thing you needed to hear. Now you knew that you had ruined your career, you had ruined everything and now you name was ruined for one film. When the interview was over, you ran away as fast as you could, quickly getting in the car before you could get any hate from paparazzis. When you were on your own being driven back to the set, you broke down, tears rolling down your cheeks and sobs escaping your throat. You didn’t deserve all of this hate. Why you? Out of all the bad directors, out of all people, why you? You studied so hard to get this job only to be criticized for one bad movie… it isn’t fair.

When you got back on set, it was 6 in the evening and you knew everyone would be filming and you made your way to your trailer, knowing you wouldn’t meet anyone as they were all on set, but that’s where you were wrong. “There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” You turned around to see Jenna, still in her Wednesday attire. Crap, out of all people, her? You couldn’t hide anything from her, because she would read right through you. “Hi Jen. What do you need?” You asked, trying to flash her a small smile and she did the same, but you lightly turned around to look away from her, she didn’t notice your puffy eyes yet and you wanted it to stay like this “Okay, I wanted to ask you if yo- wait. Have you been crying?” Well, she noticed. She put her hand on your cheek to turn you around so she could look at you properly. You froze at her touch, her soft, small warm hand was comforting, yet foreign and you wanted nothing more than to lean in the touch, looking for some relief but you didn’t. Instead you closed your eyes and a few more tears escaped your eyes.

Jenna’s expression softened a bit but was slightly worried. “What’s wrong?” She asked and watched as your lower lip trembled, before you opened your eyes again. “I don’t… I don’t really want to talk about it..” you said and just then you noticed, her hand was still on your cheek. You slightly pulled back, and she removed her hand from your skin. “(Y/N), you know you can trust me, you can tell me anything” she looked at you with pleading eyes, she didn’t want you to just keep whatever it was inside. “I really can’t, Jen. I’m sorry” you said and got in your trailer, as you left Jenna standing there, watching you get in your trailer as she then sighed, going to her own.

It was a few days later when the interview was published online that you knew, you were in deep shit. You hadn’t expected it to be published as you actually never had an interview, but it was published and Tim was fuming. Both of your screams could be heard on the whole set. Tim usually wasn’t someone to get angry, he preferred dialogue, but what you did, it got you on his nerves. “Why didn’t you ask me permission to go do that interview!?” He yelled, you were currently on set, getting everything ready to shoot the first scene of the day. “Because it was something that concerned me, Tim. ME, not you. I’m not supposed to ask permission for things that only concern me!” You shouted back. “Well that’s the thing! It didn’t only concern you, but the show, too. Which means me, and the other actors! Why didn’t you even think of that!” Why couldn’t he see that you did it for the show too? “I did think of that Tim and that’s exactly why I did what I did! If I didn’t speak up, if I didn’t reply to that fucking disgusting article about me then your show would have been put under a bad light because of me”

He scoffed and smirked. “You’re right, we’re talking about my show. Now it’s gonna be dirtied anyway because you acted on your own” by now, a crowd had gathered around you, all the staff and the actors, Jenna too. Now she understood why you were crying that day, you were treated like shit in that interview. You slammed your hands on what was supposed to be Weems’s desk for the scene you were supposed to film “Great, then take my name off the scripts” you said and watched how he went quiet. “You always say you’re thankful to have me by your side, that you’re thankful for my help. Well now since the movie will be dirtied by my name then get me fired. Send me home, take my name off the scripts and whatever it is on I don’t care, I don’t want anything to do with this shit anymore” you turned around to leave and now noticed that everyone was staring at you. “What are you staring at? Get back to work, the show’s over” you stormed outside and you heard someone follow you, but you didn’t dare turn around. “(Y/N)-“ Jenna said grabbing your arm, which you immediately yanked away. “Leave me alone” you darted back, going towards your trailer.

You stayed in your trailer the whole day, not going to lunch, not going to dinner. You were also debating if you should pack your things, go back home but you didn’t, not yet. Maybe things would turn around, you hoped they would but as of now you needed some alone time, off set. Later that night you heard some knocks on your door but you didn’t reply. The knocks continued “(Y/N) I know you’re in there, the lights are on. Come on I just want to keep you some company” it was Jenna. Of course it was her, it was obvious that she would come after you basically walked away from her that afternoon and a few days earlier. You sighed and opened the door, and saw how she smiled. “I brought you something to eat, too… you weren’t at lunch nor at dinner…” you moved aside without saying a word, though implicitly inviting her in. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry for-“ you quickly interrupted her “can we not talk about that?” She quickly shut up, giving you a small smile as you took the bag of food she was holding.

“Why are you here?” You asked her while taking a mouthful of your food. “Because I… I miss you” you gave her a confused look, to which she replied by sitting at the table with you. “But I’m always here?” You said after swallowing the first bite od food. “I know. I meant that I miss spending nights talking with you like we did while filming the fallout. I just… I miss you. And you’ve been so distant lately, not just from me, from anyone, from anything. You seem changed and for some reasons I don’t like it” she said and looked down, her hair was still wavy from wearing the braids the whole day, and you could see that even if she kept it tied in a messy bun. She was wearing her pajamas, she always goes to dinner in her pajamas, you find it cute. “What do you mean I seem changed?” You asked curiously. “I don’t know. A year ago you were always wanting to hang out with me, Mia and Megan. But now, you’re always locked in your trailer, away from everyone and I want nothing more than to just spend time with you, but you make it impossible and I don’t know if it’s my fault…” she looked down.

“No no no Jen it’s not your fault” you said and kneeled down in front of her, your hands on her shoulders “look at me” she looked at you and you smiled slightly. “It’s been a rough year. The shitty movie, the press and the critics, I have not been good at all. After what happened with my ex I- I have been in a bad place mentally and physically, I lost a lot of weight and I just don’t trust people. That’s why I don’t hang out with you all, I’m scared of other people and their judgement. I know they’re all good people but just I can’t Jen, I hope you understand that. I want to spend time with you too, but I don’t want to take you away from your friends” you said and without saying anything she threw herself in your arms. You were surprised at first, it took you a while to realize what was happening but soon you wrapped your arms around her, she tightened the hug and you did too, hiding your face in her shoulder. You needed the hug, especially after this rough week. You didn’t just need a hug, you needed Jenna’s hug and you let out a sob unwillingly, she only tightened the hug more.

She knew you needed it and she let you stay in the hug for as long as you needed, as she gently began rubbing your back. “You will be okay” she whispered and you nodded, only tightening the hug more. At least 10 minutes passed before you pulled back, sniffling. “You need some rest” she said, her voice low and soothing as she accompanied you to your bed. “Stay” you said and she froze in her spot. “Sleep with me? The bed’s big enough… please” you pleaded, you really didn’t want to be alone. Jenna smiled slightly and crawled under the sheets next to you, you sighed contently. “Can… Can I hug you?” She asked, to which you replied with a sleepy “mhm” and soon enough she got closer to you, until she was spooning you, with an arm around you. “Good night (Y/N)” she whispered, you could feel her breath against your neck, which sent shivers down your spine.

“Good night Jen, thank you.”

A/n: hey there! I’m so sorry for making you wait so long for this chapter but my motivation was basically underground this last week. I didn’t really like how this chapter turned out but I can tell you that there will be more Jenna scenes from next chapter on, I hope you like this anyway

Tags: @idkjustliving2 @tundra1029 @engenelxver @rainbow-love4ever @gimaximoff @smromanoff

[sillyfairygarden]

fairy once more 🌹 my c!hannah design is complete, full design process is under the cut :)

wrow it has been like 1.5 yr since my first c!hannie drawing 😭 ourgh i love her sosososo much. i really went back n forth on whether or not to actually complete this design, due to my... complicated and strenuous relationship with the dsmp... but after talking it out and going through these pieces i wanted to do it justice one last time :)

without further ado here is a (near-complete) history of my c!hannahxxrose design. i have included text descriptions since my handwriting is notoriously doctoral (bad):

DESIGN EVOLUTION:

In the beginning the design was very simple, and leaned heavily into the popular fanon. [pointing at image of c!hannah with leafy, thick foliage leaves from fall 2021: this was drawn before the event where c!hannah got her wings, aka i'm psychic teehee]

(i didn't really know much about her character, so these aren't tied to the canon and got scrapped!)

[pointing to a design of c!hannah with fairy wings from early 2022: this simple dress was a staple in my early design...]

Post-Elytramaggedeon:

her wings! i think when she lost them, it really drew me into pinning down a design for her. i toyed with the imagery of torn, tattered wings, but then turned to a more melted look. i love the multicolour spread of her wings, through over time her wing shape changes from a butterfly wing to a more dragonfly/fairy-style.

i toyed with the idea of her wings being torn off completely, but at the end it was more true to the imagery to have these massive, multicoloured wings, useless and tattered.

[text beneath a c!tinarose piece from march 2022: first time drawing c!tinarose B) very uninspired outfits. also, why does c!tina have little wings??? The line "he ripped your rings, my little fairy :(" lives in my head rent-free. I wasn't happy with how this came out.]

[text beneath a c!tinarose piece from july 2022: genuinely one of the best pieces i've ever done. c!tinarose nation 4 lyfe ✌️ Really nailed the melty, shredded wing design here!

Design Exploration:

While working on those [above] pieces in 2022, i started exploring different ideas for my c!hannah design.

[text pointing to a sketch from september 2022, where c!hannah has a large, tree-like arm: in this, c!hannah is a flower nymph whose body is apart of nature--the tree arm is borne! i LOVE asymmetrical designs. In my notes, i wrote: 'she draws her energy from nature to heal after losing her wings- in return, nature returns to claim her body... as time goes on, the bark grows.]

Concept: pre-DSMP design:

[text pointing to a sketch of c!hannah kneeling, hair wild with flowers and covered in climbing vines: a rosebush who becomes a girl-in her early days, she is more plant-like than human girl! i loved this hair. so fun.]

Introduction of Armour:

[text beneath multiple drawings of c!hannah from summer 2022, where she is wearing armour: in these sketches, i was feeling the urge to draw some armoured ladies-and so c!hannah became my victim!

i'm always craving sleek, feminine silhouettes in my armoured designs, without turning into battle corsets and bikinis.

at the same time as this, i was in the brainstorming/conceptual stages for other dsmp characters, and i wanted c!hannah to be unique from the generic, full-netherite design.]

Final Design:

A year and a half after my first art of her, and i collected the varying design elements from past pieces into one final concept!

Knightly yet feminine, strong but still wearing (literally) the scars of pain. I wasn't confident in ever finishing this, but then i heard that she gets her wings back after the 2023 """finale""" of the smp... it was time to bring closure to this character design that i have poured a whole part of myself into. This was the final sketch.

[text near a sketch of c!hannah's final design: flower spirit, mix armoured with flowers (utena core).]

for the final piece itself, i wanted to reference the colours of hannah's minecraft skin, while still adding that fantasy-knight element. the wings are trimmed, but still retained that beautiful, multicolour melty look. her tree arm is finally blossoming and blooming with pops of colour, to signify regrowth after the trauma of losing a piece of herself. her insignia is not for any nation, but for herself.

References:

The works of these illustrators greatly guided this design. Additionally, my peers and other artists who have drawn/interpreted c!hannah before <3 feminine, strong designs are so beautiful!

[not pictured are the works of JC Leyendecker, Jasmin Darnell, CLAMP, Thores Shibamoto, and my dear friend zma. their works orbit my head like a ceiling fan whenever i put the pen to paper <3)

a few things didn't end up making the cut (the cape from the final sketch, her other forms and ideas for pre-SMP, etc) but at this point, i am really excited to just stop looking at this piece LOL. it has been staring at me for forever. im very pleased with it and touched something special at seeing my own abilities, ambition, and concept designs grow within my own work. even if no one reads all 213445345 words of this, it's a wonderful capsule of the work i put into this design and im quite pleased.

aneeeways if any1 read this far i hope u like it 🙇 ok im going eepy now gnight ^^