#I spent a week fighting him as Terra never again

[jesterscharms]

remember when Mysterious Figure was beatable first try as Terra?

Yeah me neither

[mimiplaysgames]

save it for the morning after (3/3)

Pairing: Terra/Aqua Rating: E (Explicit) for Smut Word Count: 7,850

Summary: Aqua learns the value of being vulnerable.Terra learns to trust his body to another. Everyone gets a happy ending. ;)

Read on AO3

A/N: AAAAHHHH Happy Terraqua Day!!!! I can’t believe I finally finished this one, it always felt like it would never happen. I’m actually quite nervous - I don’t take the same kind of path of other smut and being so deviant honestly freaks me out so much. I really do pull this story into extreme directions for smut, that I wonder if I can call it smut at all. But let’s see. Hope you like. <3

~*~*~*~*~

“Aqua.”

“Hm?”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you…”

“Go ahead.”

“....”

“Are you okay?”

“The... um, your scars...”

“They’re not yours.”

“Aqua—”

“They aren’t.”

“Please.”

“...They’re not yours.”

~*~*~*~*~

Well, damn.

Ven hones in on Terra—a ballsy move considering it’s a super-bad idea to get this close to a large opponent—but Ven skids, spinning on his knees and tripping Terra like a pet running through its owner’s legs. Ven serves an uppercut with his short Keyblade. It almost jabs Terra on the ribs if not for his lurch backward, and he lands squarely on his ass against the desk behind him. 

A pot of ink rattles and tips, spilling all over his pants and spreading up the spine of his shirt. 

Ven snorts. “You look like you shit yourself.”

Terra wipes his backside, picking up excess ink in layers. It’s slick, skating through his fingers with the weight of iron and dripping onto the floor. More of it runs between his legs, finding a way in between cracks and folds of skin, moistening up his boxers. Damn it. He slathers his hand through Ven’s hair with so much force (Hey!) that Ven waddles to stay in balance. 

“And you look like you’ve been picking through trash.”

Ink clumps chunks of blond hair together, drooling down Ven’s ears and staining his collar. It makes him look oily for lack of a better term, like someone who hasn’t taken a shower in weeks. When he touches his scalp out of reflex he flinches, wiping his coated fingers on his own shirt… before realizing what he’s doing. He groans. 

“It suits you,” Terra says. 

“I dunno.” Ven wipes the rest of it on Terra’s shirt. “Looks better on you.” Might as well. The shirt is honestly ruined. 

One corner of the offending desk is covered in globs of shiny black. Terra corrects the ink bottle and surveys the damage. The tile floor will be easy to clean, but the wood is inhaling the color. 

“Aqua’s going to kill us,” Ven mutters. “She spent a lot of time in this room.”

Weeks of time choosing which books to display on the shelves. Days researching the right chalkboard to purchase. Journeys spent gathering minerals for students to practice with: ash from a far away volcano, water from the forest river nearby, unearthed dirt from the garden, and feathers from nests settled at the peak of the tallest mountain. Aqua has a vision of this room playing the dual role of serving lectures and encouraging hands-on experimentation in a safe environment. She wants it to be respectable and impressive before the semester starts. They’re not allowed to traverse the room with shoes on, and Terra and Ven were respectable about that before one of them (Ven) started to get cocky about his fighting abilities. 

Yeah, they fucked up. “Think of it this way. We proved it’s not practical for physical training,” Terra says. 

“You’re the one who’s going to tell her that.” Ven scoffs, splaying a wet towel on the floor.

Terra pulls his suspenders over his head and lets them hang from his waistband. Pinching his stained muscle shirt off and bundling it up, he uses it as a rag to absorb the puddle on the table. What’s sinking into his socks is now warm. He ignores it.

“Do you think I could pull this off?” Ven asks as a by-the-way, twiddling a shy hand at the back of his greasy head.

“Black hair?”

“No, you’re right. It’s creepy.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Pfft, you also ‘didn’t’”—Ven bookends the word with finger quotations—“spar fairly.”

Terra considers throwing his damp shirt at Ven’s face. “I’m not at my prime yet.”

“That’s not it.” Ven flips the towel and swipes the remaining streaks with the cleaner side. “You’re holding back. You promised you wouldn’t do that anymore.”

“I’m not holding back.” He is. Just the image of raising his Keyblade against either of his friends is enough to make him nauseous, but he swallows it to be a good sport. 

Giving it his all is something else entirely, a deeper, invasive illness. 

“I know you can hit harder than that.” Ven dunks the towel in a pail of water, clouding it. 

“I just have a lot in my mind and it’s hard to... relax, I guess.”

There’s a moment of pregnant quiet before Ven says pointedly, “I thought Aqua was helping you out with that.”

A moist squish slaps Ven on the nose.

“Now you’re being sensitive,” Ven says, pulling Terra’s shirt off his shoulder.

“You missed a spot,” says Terra, using his thumb to smear the stain across Ven’s cheek. For shits and giggles he continues upward, rubbing raccoon circles on Ven’s eyelids. “You really pull this off.”

“Do you annoy her this much?”

“She enjoys it.”

“Ugggh.” Ven throws Terra’s hands off of him, his chin tucked in so much that two layers of neck skin fold over. “Gross.”

Terra pauses. Gross wasn’t what he expected out of Ven’s mouth. 

In fact, Terra hasn’t been sure of how Ven took the news the first time. 

Oh, Ven had said when they told him Aqua was moving into Terra’s room. Okay. Cool. He shrugged as if he could have heard more exciting news, and left to take a short walk in the woods with Chirithy. The three of them never spoke about it again. Ven wouldn’t mention a word when he saw them dragging her dresser and vanity table, and seldom joined them if he heard them laughing together with the door closed. 

Things are changing in minute strokes, in seconds that cluster for as long as Terra can recognize them, until they dissipate and become something not quite foreign but never quite familiar anymore, as though where he comes from is far from home and who he thinks he knows are almost-strangers.

“Have we ever made you uncomfortable?” Terra asks. 

“What, no!” Ven waves his hand, feigning shock, staring at his shoes and everywhere else but Terra. “I mean, Aqua’s been Aqua since we got back, and you’re just weird sometimes, but—”

“Then why do you...” Terra sighs, choosing his words. “Avoid us when we’re together?”

“I don’t want to interrupt.”

An almost-lie. “I hope you don’t think we don’t want you around.”

“Noooo. Neither of you make me feel that way.”

“But you do.”

Ven lifts his shoulders higher than his ears and drops them with the same weight as throwing books on the floor. “It’s just… nothing’s the same.”

Nothing is, what with the quiet mornings since the Master is no longer here to prepare breakfast before the sun rises, or huff at anyone when they disturb his meditation. Now they’re preparing the castle for the largest student body of Keyblade wielders it’s seen in years, something Terra thought would be a good distraction for everyone. 

But Ven’s right. Home doesn’t feel like home when the floors are re-tiled, and specific rooms are repainted, and the Master’s favorite lounge chair sits empty in the same spot in the library by the fireplace. Maybe for Ven, home is the turn right to knock on Terra’s door and the turn left to knock on Aqua’s. 

“It’s weird.” Ven grimaces. “I didn’t mean it that way. I’m used to talking to you about things you promised to keep from Aqua—”

“I still wouldn’t tell her anything!”

“—and I’m used to it being the three of us.”

Terra pauses. “We’re still the three of us. We’re still best friends.”

“That’s not how it works, and you know it,” Ven says, smiling warmly. “You are one half of two. You share a language I can’t butt into.” 

Terra kneels onto one knee, brushing oily hair out of Ven’s face. Aqua would have liked this look on him: less spiky. “Ven, you’re always going to be a part of our lives.”

“Stop worrying. What you have is not a bad thing. I think it’s kind of awesome. I wish you’d give it your all in a fight. I wanna see what you and her are capable of together, because it’d be huge.”

“I’m only trying to say that we don’t want you to feel like a third wheel. You’re more than welcome to knock on our door anytime—”

“Ah. No. No thanks.” He shoos Terra away. 

“Why?”

“I don’t wanna see anything.” Ven squints.

Terra snorts. “You’re not going to see—”

“I don’t wanna hear about it either.”

“But—”

“Nope.” Ven covers his ears with his palms. “Nothing. No inside jokes. No pet names. Yuck. Keep that to yourself.”

Terra presses his lips together to zip up the snickering. “Okay, I won’t say anything.”

“Good. I don’t want any images in my head.” He wipes his hands like he’s done a good job explaining himself. “I should’ve expected it anyhow.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” Ven says slowly. “I mean, the Master kinda knew.”

“He said something to you?” Terra asks with a shaky voice. He’s flipping through memories, when he and Aqua were very careful and very private, when they didn't touch each other in case there were witnesses near. He was so certain he’d suffer punishment if Eraqus ever found out. Lists of long essays about the dangers of being reckless with emotions every time Aqua made him laugh too much. Grueling physical regiments to knock discipline into his body every time he made bad decisions based on a tug between his legs. 

“I didn’t understand it at the time,” Ven says, leaning back on his hands and tapping his heels on the floor. “We were all hanging out, and you and Aqua left, and then he got sad.

“When I asked him what was wrong, he told me you guys created a very bright Light together. A Light bonded is a Light stronger, he said.” Ven mimics the Master’s lilts in speech, using his finger to emphasize points. “But be aware, Ven. Such a blinding Light casts an equally blinding, deep Shadow. What a dangerous force that is.”

It’s a good imitation. The ache in Terra’s chest twists into his guts and warms him at the same time, like a loving hug that squeezes too hard.

“Honestly it made me think you and Aqua were doing something you weren’t supposed to.”

“Maybe we were.” Terra’s throat constricts, his voice gravelly and his shame nostalgic. “We thought the same sometimes.”

“Which isn’t fair. Why can normal people experience that but it’s such a big deal if Keybearers do it?”

Because when you elevate the person you admire to a standard you can’t match, it makes you do stupid things. Aqua had followed him world after world, expecting it would eventually lead to a fight. Too many Keyblades in a friendship does no one good. 

To-may-to, to-mah-to. They did end up fighting, it just wasn’t his own Keyblade that inevitably hurt her. What a dangerous force that is.

“So the Master did not approve?” Terra asks.

“I wouldn’t say that.” Ven rubs his cheek in thought, forgetting all about the ink. “He said your combined Light looked beautiful and warm. And that you’d have many nights where it would be enough when it gets hard... Honestly, he only wished that you keep your head on your shoulders.”

Wishes asked for are wishes granted, the Master used to say, so long as you work for them. The years Terra had wished for this exact approval had only left him with space to forge false hope. Nothing major, nothing long-winded. Just a simple, impossible wish as they placed the flower wreath on his memorial and bid their goodbyes. 

Finally, that wish is fulfilled. As Ven grants it to him, it’s hard to believe or accept, sitting on the floor of what used to be a ballroom, covered in drying ink. 

“Thanks, Ven.” Tears cascade down his cheeks, pretending to be inconspicuous. He wipes them with his clean forearm but he can’t keep up. There’s one for every moment in the last twelve years when he wanted to apologize to the Master, leaving his eyes burning. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop soon.”

“S’okay.” Ven tucks his ankles under, giving Terra time to process. Ven knows when a topic is too sensitive. But he can also tell when enough time has passed for the raw cuts to seal, when everyone’s ready to laugh. It’s his special gift. Only after Terra slows down does Ven lean forward. “Did you know you make this ugly face when you cry? You’re a train wreck.”

Terra yanks Ven’s head under his arm (Oomph, grunts Ven), locking his elbow around the neck.

Ven beats on Terra’s biceps. “Let go of me.”

Terra summons his pauldron, elbow pad, and gauntlet—for good measure. He licks salt from his lips and smirks, clutching Ven more, sinking him into the pecs. 

Ven coughs. “You smell horrible.”

“Nasty-horrible or heroic-horrible?”

“Do you make Aqua sniff your armpit? Let go of me.”

A poor mistake. Ven tumbles back when he’s let go, but he grabs Terra’s shirt before his head hits the floor. He punches it into Terra’s stomach so quickly that Terra isn’t allowed time to react or block, leaving a sprawled, black bruise over his abs. 

“Put a shirt on,” Ven says when Terra can’t rub it off. “Freak.”

~*~*~*~

Their bedroom door is ajar. Terra hears the shuffling of feet. He quiets his arrival, crumpling his messed-up shirt in a fist, and leans on the door frame to watch her. Aqua pulls a book out of a stack deftly with one hand, the other carrying a cheese pastry. She swallows a final bite, licking her fingers (something she’d never do in front of anybody else but him), and meditates on the chew before sitting at her desk. 

He likes her best like this: half-dressed, without her usual corset and sashes, down to nothing else except her shirt and shorts, simple and free. 

Her longest scar creeps out of her backless shirt. A snake, a reminder of the damage Keyblades are capable of: they never heal and barely fade. This is why wielders shouldn’t raise them against people. 

Gluing her attention to an open book, Aqua reaches over for more cheese pastry, but her hand meets a plate of crumbs. When she realizes, she snaps up, alert as if she’s been robbed, glancing over her shoulder for signs of movement. This is also something she would not appreciate anyone else seeing, how she’s afraid of being alone, how she’s paranoid that she’s actually not.

Terra steps in and taps her shoulder before she could ask him what happened to the pastry. “That looked delicious.” 

She blinks, slowly absorbing his words; she doesn’t feel well today, nothing to be ashamed of. Terra says nothing else. This way, he doesn’t bring more attention to the fact. He won’t touch her so she doesn’t feel coddled (despite how much he wants to). He won’t crack a dumb joke when there’s better moments for them. This way, she keeps her dignity. 

When Aqua sees the smears and handprints on him, her eyes finally find reality. “What happened to you?” She stands up and swipes the stain on his chest. It’s dry but not enough, leaving a mark of gray on her fingers. 

“An accident.” Terra clears his throat, trying to seem unbothered. Just another day in the castle. Everyone gets covered in ink, what’s the big deal?

If she hears the hesitation in his voice (and she should, she knows him too well), she doesn’t care, marching to their bathroom. The sink turns on. 

“What kind of an accident?” she calls. The water flow is disturbed. She’s washing her own hands first. 

“Eh, we spilled some ink,” Terra says, praying to the stars she won’t interrogate further. He tosses his ruined shirt into a wastebasket and opens the first dresser drawer for another. Gone are the days when Terra used to stuff his clothes into a heap; Aqua likes to fold every single article, his on one side and hers on the other. 

“What does that mean?”

“It’s fixable, I promise.” At least he hopes there’s some magic spell in some book somewhere that could lift ink out of cracks of wood.

He goes down one drawer for pants and it’s the same story. 

Down to the middle for socks and underwear, each tightly rolled. Tucked into the back of this one are two newly purchased books, their hardcovers wrapped in plain paper so that anyone peeking in couldn’t read the titles. Edited with illustrations of anatomy, they are lectures of techniques on what to try with your partner. Where to place your hands, how to play with your fingers and tongues, how to listen, when to take it slow and when to take it fast...

“Here,” Aqua says from behind him. She has a wet rag. It’s warm as she gently rubs it into his skin, across the spread of his chest. Her other hand is splayed on his hip. 

Just the thought of those books now, of slipping her out of that shirt, the stains on his stomach be damned—

“Am I going to get mad at you?”

Be damned. Terra smirks in a way to invite her to join along with him. “At both of us. But... You never stay too angry for too long so… Why worry about it?”

She pauses. “What are you rambling about?”

“Nothing.” He glances away. “It happened in the new classroom.”

She digs the rag into the groove above the diaphragm as if contemplating his vivisection. A stream of water drips over his belly button, into the hem of his pants, down the dips of his pelvis, between his inner thighs. Let her get mad. Be damned. 

“How bad is it?” Her voice is hard.

He caresses the small of her back, which is right now tense and stretched as she makes herself seem taller, like she’s about to take him on. “You’re smart. You’ll figure something out.” She opens her mouth to say something and he kisses the bottom lip. “I’ll do the dishes for three months. That’s enough atonement, right?”

Aqua clenches her teeth into a false smile, nails now leaving divots on his skin. “And the cooking.”

“Sounds fair.”

“And the gardening.”

“Now you’re pushing it.”

She continues to clean him, this time rubbing harder. It leaves his skin lightly raw. “You’re not in any position to bargain.”

“Do you expect me to beg?” 

“Then beg.”

Terra would be lying if he says he doesn’t find this side of her hot. She’s a splash of freshwater that would bring him back from the brink. The woman standing in front of him chooses to clean him despite the shower being paces away. She’s the same girl who would plant an extra candle on his birthday cakes, for the year to come. To her, maybe it meant little or nothing. Stars, she’s beautiful, and he doesn’t say it enough. 

“You’re doing better,” she says, leveling her voice, nodding to herself as if checking her information. That’s Aqua. Putting aside her annoyance for the sake of making sure he’s taken care of. “You’re not flinching as much.”

Maybe. Her touch is absolutely making the hairs on his neck stand. It is absolutely driving his dick insane. “You know, Ven’s okay with us.”

She stops. “He said something?”

“Kind of. He doesn’t want to know or see or hear anything.”

Her eyes go wide. “Excuse me?”

“He never said he actually heard anything.” He kisses her temple and lets it linger there, taking the opportunity to inhale her smell. Even when she sweats and spars for hours, there’s still a sweetness. Terra laughs into her hair. “He doesn’t want to know nicknames, either.”

Aqua flashes him a look.

“Now we have to,” says Terra. “We don’t have a choice.”

“What should we use?” Aqua moves to his abs, fighting an amused smile that’s twisting its way to her lips. 

“Terr-able.”

“That one is awful. I think Terr-bear fits you better.”

“So you admit I’m big, strong, and scary?”

“I admit you’re adorable sometimes.”

Terra purses his lips. “What about you?”

She shrugs. “Maybe Aquamarine.”

“How about Aquafina?”

“That’s worse.”

“Babe?”

“Absolutely not.”

“We could call him Ven-tilation.”

“Stop.”

He follows his instinct to lower his head so when she laughs with him, their lips meet. They kiss everyday, but the first taste of the hour is always the one to discharge his breath, like he’s been underwater and she’s giving him the chance to surface. 

“You’re going to get me dirty,” she says, giggling into his mouth.

He moves to her neck. “A little mess doesn’t hurt anybody.”

It’s when he brushes his fingers across her back, skating over the scar, coiled like rose thorns, that he hitches. Across from them is her vanity mirror. The scar is still red despite its age of twelve years. He’s so stupid. 

“This again?” she whispers. She’s not upset but disappointed, though in him or in herself, he can’t tell. Moments like these are weird, when he can’t read what she’s thinking. Working on the straps on his left arm, she pulls off his gauntlet, finger by finger. 

“I wish you would tell me,” he whispers back, as if having the conversation at a normal volume would shake them up. 

She turns his bracer to make its removal easier. “I already did.”

“I wish you would be honest with me.” He leans his chin on her head, feeling her fingers slide down his arm. 

“I am.” She flicks a knob and slips off the couter from his elbow. “You want me to tell you it was you who did this to me,” she continues, unbuckling the pauldron on his shoulder. “But it wasn’t.”

“I know better.”

“I know better.”

“It was done with my hands.”

To that she says nothing, rubbing the rag down his exposed left bicep. Ink had run under the armor. Darkness seeps in even with protection. 

She sighs. “Promise me you won’t obsess over it.”

He really shouldn’t but… he nods.

Aqua hesitates anyway. Taking him by the wrist, she presses his right hand on the rib under her left breast. “This one was his.” She warns with her eyes. “Not yours.”

Terra can’t feel anything through her shirt. He slips it under, running the pads of his fingers across the bumps and ridges. This one was his, this one with the gnarly tear right through the middle of the scar tissue, a ravine rupturing open. This one would have been done by that nameless silver Keyblade, with its sharp, ornate frills and that giant hook at the tip of it. It would have caught her skin as it tried to disconnect her body from her heart. And Terra? He’s had so much to lose and nothing to give back.

Terra holds his Aqua close as he continues to read the scar, how deep the hook sunk in, how she must have dodged back and broke that connection. 

“Did it hurt?” he asks. 

She sighs like she finds something amusing. Or trying to. She shudders, closing what little is left of the gaps between their bodies. “The Realm of Darkness numbs everything. I don’t think I felt it much.”

The view from their window looks over blossoming fields under mist, what’s left of snow capping just the mountaintops, everything else green. She’s lucky. So is he, ridiculously enough. 

“I should have done more to stop it,” he says.

“You can’t continue to say things like that.” She swallows and stares at the wall. “What about the person I’ve become? I wouldn’t be here, standing in this room, now. It changed me. The Realm of Darkness did things to me that I’ll never be able to claim back. I will never be able to remedy it. I never wanted it, but I don’t know if I deserved it.”

“You didn’t.”

“I couldn’t make mistakes, in case I got hurt. I couldn’t be vulnerable. I had to be brave.”

“You already are.” 

“And now I’m like stone.”

Terra presses his forehead to hers. “No, you’re not like stone at all.”

Aqua buries her face into his shoulder, anchoring herself to his waist. It’s so unlike her, to be unable to look him directly in the eyes. Whatever she has to say scares her. “You’re here, and I’m here. I give you my scars and you give me yours and… I don’t know if I would trade that for something else. For something that looks better on the outside. Every moment we shared since you woke up, how could I want to erase them? I need you, Terra. I have to chip away somehow. I’m braver now, to hold you like this.”

She says it like she has her chest cavity open, heart beating to open air. 

She’s brave for not crying. 

She’s brave for telling him what she can’t say right now. I’m braver now, to hold you like this. (I love you.)

He lifts her chin to kiss her. (I loved you first.) 

She drops the rag to hold his face. 

Before, their kisses were desperate, thirsty and famished, hoping to be found. Now, they’re deliberate, wandering but not lost. She tastes like sugar and flesh, her tongue inside with his, slow and careful. Their needs have more definition this time: please, and more, and yes, again. 

Terra indulges in the impulse to press her onto him. She should feel how greedy he is, her chest arched against his. She’s soft and he’s in love. 

“Where is Ven?” she says, breathless. 

“Probably showering,” he mumbles.

She waves her hand and the door slams shut. 

“I said probably,” Terra murmurs, but his mind turns off when she kisses him again. Who cares what Ven hears?

Aqua treads slower. She tempts Terra’s tongue to seek her out, puckering her lips around it and giving it a small tug. 

“Touch me, please,” he begs.

The sound of his pants unbuttoning makes his heart hammer, his entire groin anticipating for what’s next. When, when, when. Terra closes his eyes. Her hand glides down, palm first, his breath snagging when she wraps her fingers around his erection. His pants are at his ankles, Aqua is on her knees, and she presses a kiss right under the tip, where it’s most sensitive, before licking the entire length. Terra buckles. He catches the dresser behind him to keep standing. 

“Shhh,” she breathes onto him. It shoots a spark from his stomach to his scalp. 

Terra braces his teeth with his finger to shut himself up. He watches her work. She takes him in bite-size pieces, snail-tracking with her tongue before her lips close in on him. Fuck. She sucks while she pulls. Fuck. To see her like this, Master Aqua with poise, with grace, with affection and care—with him in her mouth. The hand wrapped around him squeezes tighter, and the other comes up to meet him at the testicles. 

He stifles another moan, staring at the ripples of the drywall, listening to the feathered tap of spring rain on the window and the noise she’s making. His erection twitches against the roof of her mouth, and he has to restrain himself from thrusting into her. Maybe he can let go and let be, finally throw himself off the cliff, ride the thrill all the way. Give it his all.

But he can’t. The moment gooseflesh spreads across his inner thighs, the moment he feels full, is the start. The floor will rip out from under him, the lights will go off, he will fall, he will lose all his fingers, he won’t remember anything, he’ll be the monster who makes her cry.

“I can’t,” he hisses, pushing her off. “I can’t.” He lurches over his knees, his insides twisting at the sudden cutoff, aching as it throbs and shrivels. He was so close. They were just laughing a few minutes ago. Stupid body, stupid mind. “Damn it,” he groans, pounding the dresser.

“Hey, you’re okay,” she says softly, holding him by the elbow. “You’re safe at home.”

“It doesn’t feel that way.” He digs his eyes into his palm, his body faraway like it’s a glass vial with his soul dumped inside. “Help me.”

Without letting him go, Aqua braces him with something cold—the rag, now on his lower back. It slaps him back to the bedroom, his beige carpet, the mist outside clearing out to a view of a forest that separates the castle from the mountains. 

She greets him with a smile. “You really did something to yourself,” she says, cleaning him like it’s a lazy weekend day and there’s a list of chores. 

Terra straightens up, shivers riding all the way up to his shoulders. “It’s so frustrating.”

“Don’t worry, Terra,” she says, softer and lower. “There’s no need to rush. I’ll wait.”

“But I’m tired of feeling caged up and stuck. I just want some semblance of control.” 

Aqua kisses him on the shoulder to shoo away the haunting for a few seconds. “I’m here, anytime you need me. Would you like me to run you a bath?”

“No.” The rag is likely caked with ink, but its iciness is unlike the chill of clammy sweat a few seconds old. Every frigid touch is a reminder that he’s alive. “This is nice.”

Aqua runs the rag up his spine. “You know what I think? If we’re going to call each other pet names in front of Ven, we should have guests over.”

Terra snorts. “That’s evil.”

“He won’t be able to bark at us in front of other people.”

“I think I’m a bad influence on you.”

“I think you’re right.”

Terra sighs at her touch, cold at his neck, at his hairline. Like a light at the front porch in the dead of night, like hot tea on a sick day, she is what it feels like to come home.

She tells him, “Lean your head back a little,” and he obliges, letting her reach behind his ears. Her cheeks are flushed, her lips swollen, her hair frizzy, eyes blue and focused as she takes care of him. 

“I can still kiss you, right?” 

“You don’t have to ask.”

Tilting his chin down, he does. He braids his fingers into hers; from the rag they’re like icicles, and he brings them to his heart. 

They’re barely millimeters apart, but he’s still in that cage. If only he could be touched the way he needs. If only the lock trapping him inside the cage is brittle and easy to crumble. What if he tries to test it? What if he finds there is nothing at all? Stupid mind. What if there are several, each of them needing unique keys when he has none, no hope of ever knowing what real freedom is? Stupid body. 

Should he pretend? Should he try over and over, to slam his head against the bars each time? Should he submit, should he accept he will never have what he wants? 

Life has made him uneager to trust. But her lips have a deliciousness unmatched by anything he’s ever tasted, and he’s still a silly, stupid man.

“Let me try again,” he says, breathing deeply. “I want to make you feel good.”

She’s surprised. “Only if you’re comfortable.”

“It will make me feel better.”

“...Okay,” she says so modestly. Terra never figured out how to knock it into her head that he wants to give her everything, that he is so, so guilty.

He invites her into an embrace, growing desperate the more he detaches his mind. Her body, the curve from her waist to her hips. The brush of her body against his reminds him that while he is naked, she is not. He picks her up by the thighs. Lost in the momentum of deep kisses, he carries her to bed, straddling her on his lap.

She hums. “The… the sheets.”

Dry, messy layers of ink still track down his legs. He groans into her mouth. She’s grinding him, and while he really likes that, it makes it incredibly difficult to take her clothes off, one hand rising the hem of her shirt and the other deep under her shorts, cupping her ass. 

“Whatever, we can wash them later,” she says, lifting her arms up. 

Her bare breasts—stars, this is what it feels like to come home. 

“Kiss me,” she says, and he replies, nibbling down her neck, coming down to her breasts, where his lips and his tongue and his murmurs take in her nipples as they perk. Aqua stays quiet, leaning onto his shoulders. 

There’s something about her amazing body, the silk of skin draped over defined muscle, treasure and tenderness in his hands, that he’s needy for. Every time he tries to define what that means, his mind ceases to function. 

Xehanort tried to take it all away from him. If he lived, Terra would crush every tooth bloody. Damn him.

How dare Xehanort do this to him, lock him in this cage, keep him away from her? Damn him.

Why is he thinking about Xehanort?

“Are you okay?”

Terra is frozen, the nub of a nipple suctioned in his mouth. Oh, for fuck’s sake.

He lets her breast go with a pop. “I’m redirecting.” Leading her to the mattress, Terra lowers himself into her arms, but he’s halted by a light kiss and a hold of his face.

“Do you need me to check in on you?” she asks.

“No.” He smiles, kissing her with all the hope that she psychically understands his body is about to burst open, if only from the lack of space for the appreciation he keeps nurturing for her. “Thank you, but I’m okay.”

She nods, stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. “You take your time.”

Oh, he will. No more interruptions. Focus on the smell of her skin, on the collarbone at the base of her neck. Right here, it makes her bite her lip. On the hollow between her breasts, the sound of her breath getting heavy. On the slight movement of her legs as she instinctively responds, spreading them, hooking around his. The buoyancy of her breasts in his mouth. The way she arches to push them against his face. 

Under that left breast is the scar, tightly knitted.

The purpose for living is for memories, not reminders. Do not linger. Do not think about the cage. Terra lightly kisses it and continues downward. 

Terra’s fingers glide down, a caress at the hips, a squeeze of her ass, running a mile of goosebumps as he bunches her shorts and panties and pulls them off. Her skin is streaked with fingerprints of gray, at most of the places he’s been. Aqua shivers as his lips brush the sides of her waist, as he traces his tongue and inhales the dips of her pelvis, as he loops his arms under her thighs, as he kisses her between the legs. She gasps. He licks from bottom to top, sucking on the clitoris once, then starts over.

Footsteps walk by outside their bedroom door.

Aqua jerks up. “Terra,” she whispers, warning him.

“Hm?” Stars, what now? “Here.” He grabs the comforter and throws it over her head. She chuckles as she wraps both of them in hiding. “Relax,” he whispers back. “He’s not going to hear anything.” Not that Ven opts to stay; his footsteps are already fading away.

He goes back to work, and hears her sigh—it’s loud enough to make him look up but too hushed to escape the sheets. Bottom to top. Again. Again. She cloaks the sound of her moans with the comforter plastered on her face. 

It’s her taste. It’s the softness and suppleness of the skin between her legs. The way she fastens her knees over his shoulders, how wet she is. Her reaction. When he tongues the inside of her slit, she jerks, chewing her lip hard enough to make it white. Master Aqua, with poise and grace, for her there’s only love and the way his tongue curls up. 

Her fist crumples the sheet—it holds her own breast, caresses her stomach down to rake through his hair and hold him there. 

“Don’t stop,” she breathes.

Stars, that did it. He’s hard again. He drapes his arms over her pelvis, using his fingers to open her up so he has more access to her clit. She bucks, and he holds her down. 

Her entire body trembles: the first sign that she’s running off her own edge. 

Terra strokes her, the outside lips, the tease inside, the puckering motions. She’s a sweet, musky taste he can’t compare to anything else.

Aqua throws herself back on the pillow. Her thighs crush his head, and she clamps her hand on her mouth like a topper. Her mewl shudders and stops, it heaves, it mumbles. The wave rises then crashes, and she finishes with a long sigh, a release, a settlement, a tempered peace.

It feels so good to listen to her. Terra rests his head on her hip and brings a hand to his erection. A little bit of freedom paid with a little bit of control. 

“I’m ready,” he says. “I need you.”

She hums in contentment, fixing the comforter so they’re completely covered and opening her arms to him. “Come here.”

Terra crawls over her, bracketing her body like he’s a fort, tethering her fingers to his and cradling her head in a protective halo with his arms. Aqua has to spread her legs wide to take on his thick waist, and she breaks her kisses with whimpers when he enters—she’s always more sensitive after he goes down on her. 

She’s warm and tight, oh stars. Massaging him as he moves inside her. Their bodies compress into each other, hers curled up to mold against the way he rocks his hips, as though the subtle air between would have split them up too far, as though he can melt into her when he pushes, their hearts only separated by muscle and bone. He plants a messy kiss on her cheek, exhaling and inhaling in rhythms opposite of hers, her breath loud against his ear, tickling his neck.

Here it comes again, the oncoming of the precipice where he has to step off. 

Fuck.

He can’t do it.

At the sprint towards the edge of the cliff, he skids and scrambles to hang by the rockface. Terra grunts, all his muscles seizing up as he holds his breath.

Aqua strokes his hair. “Do you want to stop?”

Of course not. “Give me a minute.”

“Remember, you’re safe.”

Terra nearly chokes. “I’m scared of losing control.”

“You won’t. You’re in control.”

In control. The intent to wring his fingers through the bars, a sleight of hand to balance the padlock like it’s on strings, turning it over and pulling it out of the latch. But Terra is no escape artist. 

Terra licks his lips. He’s not in danger. He should trust she’ll catch him when he falls. In her arms, there’s no safer place to be. He has to remember this. Shut that mind up.

“I want to continue.” 

She rubs his back. It’s soothing. “Tell me what you need.”

Terra smirks. “To get back in the mood.” He takes one deep kiss. “Entice me.”

Her insides squeeze him and he trembles. “How is that?” she asks.

“Do it again.”

She wraps her ankles over his back and squeezes. He hums into her shoulder. 

“Again.”

This time, she takes back her kiss.

“Don’t let me go,” he says, and she hugs him tightly. 

He starts slow. Terra leans on his elbows, bunching the comforter in his fist so it stays in place. She looks at him with half-lidded eyes, a healthy red blush, her mouth gently open, cast in the filtered glow of a secret, sweaty cocoon. This body he’s thrusting into, the lips he’s kissing, may the stars bless her. 

“Aqua.”

“You feel so good.”

She stole the words right out of his mouth, squeezing his hips again. 

“Oh,” he moans. It provokes him to thrust harder, deeper, feel her, feel her breasts bouncing under him, feel her moans coming from her throat, the desperation in the way she squirms with her hands. She massages his slick back, her nails digging in.

There. 

Let him throw himself off. Give it his all.

“Don’t let me go,” he repeats.

“I won’t.”

He throws himself off. It’s not the wind thrashing him all the way down. Instead it’s fire, a combustion of flames in his muscles as his entire body submits to its force, leaving his knees weak. A flash of white that blurs everything he sees, a hurricane that knocks his mind into a stupor, a delicious burn that slicks over his body, trickling embers on top of sweat, hot and cool, good and better, good and fucking good. Terra shoves his face into her shoulder to muffle the sounds of groans escaping him, shuddering as the climax picks up again, a body alight in an ignition that throws him out of any awareness. 

His eyes prick when he finally remembers where he is. Aqua is safeguarding him with a strong hold, keeping him in place with her. He sighs. The cinders that continue to radiate heat leave him with a hearth to wrap himself into, a happiness that he never thought he would ever feel again.

Aqua sniffs. She wipes tears onto his shoulder.

“We really should stop crying at these things,” he says.

She snorts, refusing to let her grip on him slack. “You did amazing. How are you feeling?”

“I’m…” he mumbles. Stars, wow. His arms can’t pick him up anymore but it’s a gratifying cloud to ride. He shifts his legs, alleviating the weight of his body. “A little weak.” 

She runs a hand on the back of his head, coaxing him to rest on her chest. “When did you know?” she asks, brushing hair off his damp forehead. “That you wanted to kiss me? You must have spent some time thinking about it before it happened.”

Terra smiles into her chest. Somehow, they’ve never talked about it. “Long after I knew I was going to marry you.”

He feels her laugh. “Is that so? I’m going to marry you?”

“You will.” He looks up at her grinning face. “I can see the future.”

She scoffs. “You can see my eyes rolling at you.”

“I knew before you did.”

“Prove it.”

“I was seven.”

“You’re older than me, that doesn’t count.”

“You asked me to have a tea party with you, but the one thing that bothered you most”—he brings up his hand, pinky out—“was that I wasn’t drinking my tea right.” He mimics the high pitch of a little girl’s voice. “Pinky out. Pinky out, Terra, don’t be a slob.”

She gapes. “I don’t remember any of that.”

With renewed will, he props himself up, leaning close so their noses touch. “I knew then. That early on.”

“Since when is this a competition?”

“Still the first to know.”

Aqua interrupts what she’s about to say, like she’s about to step into cold water. She’s having an epiphany. Vulnerable again, like she’s allowing him to cut her right down the middle. 

“I love you.”

She says it like the touch of a high note on a piano, a beautiful accident. 

He leans closer, lips to lips, whispering, “I still got there first.” 

She laughs into him. “I suppose, but I was the first to say it.”

“Then I’ll be the second,” Terra says. Like coming home, a shelter to withstand the downpour, that births life to the roots, that thunders, that opens for a clear day, he brushes her hair out of her eyes. “I love you.”

“Too,” she corrects. “You love me, too.” 

A knock on their door jolts them, like a hard punch to the stomach.

“Okay, Terra,” Ven says from the other side. “I thought about it and I’m trying out this knocking thing.”

Wrong timing. Wrong timing.

“I’m going to kill him,” Terra hisses, and against Aqua’s hushed chuckles, he throws the comforter off their bodies and announces, “Ven, we’re naked.”

The silence that comes after is as loud as the crash of a chandelier. Terra can feel Ven recoil, a tea pot at the verge of whistling. “I didn’t need to know that!” Terra is about to reply but Ven groans dramatically. “I AM NEVER GOING TO KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR AGAIN.”

Ven stomps away, and if the door was actually open, he’d slam it. 

Terra sits on his knees, pinching his nose. It’s hot in this room. He feels clogged again, back at the edge of the cliff. He wants to strangle Ven for dragging the moment away from him. “Great, I pissed him off.”

“Poor Ven.” When she sits up, Terra pulls her to him, sitting her on one of his thighs. “I can’t predict if he’ll ever get over that,” she says, balancing herself by hooking her arms around his neck. 

Terra presses his lips to her ear, whispering, “But I did predict that you wouldn’t stay mad at me for long.”

She slaps his bicep. “I haven’t seen what you’ve done yet. Don’t be so proud of yourself.”

“But I am.”

“You’re still a slob.”

Slobby as he is, Aqua hugs him dearly. Hold her, you never know when the dream will end. You never know when the cage takes you back.

“I don’t know if,” Terra says, “it will be difficult for me next time.”

“Then it may be difficult,” Aqua says, kissing his forehead. “But it will be okay.”

Hold her. Not passively. Not half-minded. Hold her tightly. Hold her in the quiet, undisturbed, uninterrupted.

A drop of hot liquid spills from between her legs and drips down his thigh, almost burning. When Terra looks down to see that it’s white, Aqua jumps.

“Oh,” she squeaks.

“Oh. That would be me.”

She squeals, hiding her blush. “I’m going to wash up.” 

“Such a slob.”

Aqua giggles, looking him in the eye when she rubs his chest. “Come with me?”

“Go ahead.” He kisses her. “I’ll catch up.”

If anyone told him twelve years ago that hope feels like a long day full of small conversations, the anticipation of cleaning a messy room, Terra would have considered that cynical. A sarcastic joke, the loss of the will to dream. 

Twelve years later, it’s the sound of the shower running that teaches him to look forward to the next day, when he wakes up next to her, when he prepares dinner with her, when he kisses her in the middle of the night and play all over again. Peace is a long-distance acquaintance, a pen pal that urges you to look at your day like a spectacle.

Terra leans back to twist the latch of the window open, letting the spring haze billow in. Much better, the room is cooler now. The sky is bluer somehow, the mountains as grand as a painting.

[jinxedpanda4life]

Criminal Investigator AU HC

I would first like to start off by saying thank you to everyone. 

I honestly did not expect the response I got to my Damirae Hospital AU HC list. 

When I first woke up and checked tumblr ~13 hours after posting I had a holy shit moment. 

I felt powerful, should I? Probably not. 

But! Since I am noticing a lack of AUs in the fandom, whether on Tumblr, AO3 or FanFiction.net, whatever AU comes to my mind I shall jot down some hcs for! 

Thank you all once again!

(Also trying format changes for easy reading)

(Also Also, I am thinking the story is less fluid but more episodic)

Let’s get started:

- So I’m thinking this is some FBI, SVU, and FBI BAU mixture or whatever. Basically all the great shows we know in love shoved together. From Bones to Criminal Minds and everything in between.

- Special Agent (Dr.) Raven Roth is a lead interrogator and is the resident psych consult. 

She’s been educated in interrogation, behavioral science, psychology, forensic pathology, and criminology. 

She has combat training (hand to hand), she carries (for her job) a gun and at all times has a knife/dagger on her person (people have stopped trying to figure out where she keeps them). 

Her father was/is crime boss T. Trigon who is currently imprisoned. 

Was born in the states but fled with her mother to Romania when she was a newborn.

When Trigon found them he killed Arella and took Raven, she was abut 9 - 10 years old.

She took her mother’s last name when she turned 18. 

Knows two languages besides English; French, Romanian, Romani (various dialects but knows multiple), Greek and Latin

On more than one occasion some goon of her father’s tries to recruit her, every time she kicks their ass. (Damian was there for the most recent (he was still green though))

Lives by herself in a decent sized apartment, has a gun safe (gun safety is important!), a cat (Nevermore), and is a regular at a 24/7 bookstore &/ cafe

Can usually be found wearing some kind of jacket, sweater, cardigan

She once helped save some kids (Melvin, Tommy & Teether) and is now their surrogate aunt, she has photos of them at her desk @ work. (Damian assumes/ed that they were her kids)

She also, when she can, hangs out and babysits them on occasion.

Raven is part of a team consisting of Dick Grayson (unit leader), Kori Anders, Garfield Logan, Jaime Reyes, and very recently Damian Wayne 

- Special Agent Damian Wayne is a lead investigator (he is still a bit fresh to the unit), translator, sniper and combat coordinator

He’s been educated in martial arts, explosives, hand to hand combat, close range combat, and combat (basically he knows how to kill you 9 ways to Sunday), also, behavioral science, computer science, criminology, linguistics and language. 

He can easily translate (into English): Arabic, Mandarin Chinese, Russian, Hindi, Bengali, French, Polish, German, Spanish, Portuguese, he can also learn any language you put in front of him and know the basics within a day

(Having lived in many places around the world he needed to be able to speak and understand in order to survive) (wow dramatic much?)

His father is currently the director (or deputy director, whatever floats ya boat) of the FBI.

His mother was essentially a secret agent who worked for various agencies around the globe. (deceased)

His grandfather was the leader of a, um, well to be honest, terrorist agency. (deceased)

Was sent to live with his father when he was 15 (when his mother died) and has been in the states ever since

Lives alone, he has an upscale apartment that he truthfully spends little time in, has multiple locations in the home where various weapons are stored, his place has a very cold atmosphere

Is either in proper work attire or in work out clothing, there is no in between

Tries and fails not to take work home with him

He sees a therapist (who says he should probably try investing in relationships with the people at his job)

His only “friend” (he hates calling him that, more like close acquaintance) is Jonathan Kent who was in his class at the FBI Academy, Jon works in a white collar crime department in Metropolis

The only person he actually kind of sort of doesn’t dislike is in fact Raven Roth, she’s a no bull shit person, he likes that

He may know Grayson because of how he’s Bruce’s kind of son but it does not mean he likes him

He finds Logan annoying as all hell, even if he is somewhat useful

He picked a fight with Reyes first day and regretted it (he will never admit that), he respects him

Anders is overly friendly in his opinion, kind of acts like a secretary with all that positivity and grates his nerves, he tolerates her

(Unlike last time I am not going in detail about the rest of the team, this will be brief)

- Supervisory Special Agent Dick Grayson (Unit Chief) is basically Dick Grayson with a big fancy title but all the same skills

He is also obsessed with Slade Wilson and Red X (who is Jason in this)

- Supervisory Special Agent Kori Anders is a lead investigator and is also a go to for undercover work

- Special Agent Garfield Logan is a lead interrogator, is head of the unit’s K-9 unit and kind of has a thing for Roth (which she does not reciprocate) 

- Special Agent Jaime Reyes is a tactical analyst, tech analyst and is head of the unit’s SWAT team, he does not do well with talking with people, or change

The Scarab is a computing program that Jaime created himself

STORY START:

- When Damian first joins the team there is another member, Special Agent Terra Markov, she is revealed as a sleeper agent but she aligns herself with the team and sadly is shot and killed in a fire fight

- A couple weeks after Agent Markov’s death everyone is talking about what they are doing for an upcoming holiday, Damian says probably nothing, Raven invites him to spend it with her and her “niece” and “nephews,” he declines

- About a day after the holiday Damian is home looking through case files when someone knocks on his door

-- It is Raven. He asks how she knew where he lived, she says she asked Dick, she also says that she knows how it feels to be alone and that he may be insufferable but it doesn’t mean he can’t have a friend

-- His response is saying he isn’t the kind to make friends with co workers

-- “I’m not asking to be your friend Damian, I am asking you to be his,” She reveals a small black great dane puppy “I know that other people aren’t really your thing, but having someone in your corner and waiting for you is always nice, even if it isn’t human.”

-- Damian invites her in, names the dog Titus and thanks her

-- “Just make sure no one tries to kidnap and kill you, we don’t need you to go full blown John Wick.” Damian has no idea who that is. Raven tells him it is an action movie series that he should watch. She leaves. He does watch them that night with Titus on his lap. (after having gone to the local pet supply store to get everything he needs) The action is inaccurate but he enjoyed the movies none the less, and decides that he probably would go into John Wick mode if someone hurt Titus.

- SA Roth and SA Wayne are sent to a high security federal prison to interrogate a prisoner, who refuses to speak

-- When they get into the interview room the prisoner does start to speak, but not in English and not in a language Damian is fluent in

-- Raven on the other hand immediately responds to the prisoner (shocking the prisoner and Damian) “He is speaking Romani though not the dialect of those overseas, he learned it here.” 

-- Damian is fascinated by it and they are essentially switching roles the entire time

-- They leave having successfully interviewing the prisoner, and Raven leaves behind a written list of common words in Romani so that they can possibly communicate with the prisoner better

-- As soon as they are on the plane back Damian asks her a myriad of questions from “How many languages do you know?” to “When did you learn that?” and even “Are you a spy? Sleeper agent? Part of a terrorist cell?”

-- “Not as many as you, when I was a child, if I was part of any of that you wouldn’t be asking.” The rest of the trip is spent with her teaching him Romani and even some Romanian

- Dick & Kori eventually get together and after a while they break up. Kori takes some vacation time. At the same Dick has been temporarily reassigned to another unit.

-- Chaos ensues

-- Garfield thinks he should be the interim unit chief, Jaime thinks the same, as does, you guessed it, Damian (Raven doesn’t want to she is comfortable with her role on the team)

-- In the end they are assigned an interim unit chief, SSA Jason Todd, who usually works overseas on covert op missions (not gonna lie this could easily flow into a Jayrae thing)

-- Everyone kind of falls into line, except Damian, Damian doesn’t like him for two reasons

1) He doesn’t act serious about the job 24/7

2) He has been flirting and hitting on Raven the moment he stepped into their sector 

-- Damian hates the names he gives her; “Little Bird,” “Sunshine,” “Princess,” “Rae,” (no one calls her Rae, not even Garfield, at least not after the incident) etc.

-- (Little does Damian know, Jason and Raven have worked together before and are actually friends)

-- This all comes to a head when Damian and Jason are the only ones still in the office after a tiring case.

          “You shouldn’t do that you know.”

           “Do what? All I am doing right now is contemplating where Grayson                    keeps the liquor.”

           “Call Raven all those names, she doesn’t like it.”

           “Really? Because if you haven’t noticed she hasn’t exactly asked me to                stop.”

           “She gets uncomfortable, maybe not to the extent of asking you to stop,              but she tenses up and her body language becomes slightly more                        agitated.”

          “You seem to pay a lot of attention in how she reacts to thinks baby brat.             Seems to me that you like her.”

           “Of course I like her, she is a good friend and reliable teammate.”

           “No, you like like her.”

           “That presumption is juvenile.”

           “But you don’t deny it.”

           “Tch.”

-- If anything after that conversation Jason seems to doubled his advances. Which confuses both Damian and Raven. Damian because it is inappropriate and HR will be hearing about this. Raven because she was under the assumption that she and Jason were just friends. (Jason actually does have genuine intentions but is like 60% just egging Damian on)

-- Eventually (far too long for Damian’s tastes), both Dick and Kori return. At first it is sooooooo awkward. Like mom and dad divorced have shared custody but don’t hate each other but also cannot look each other in the eye. ((Was that a mouthful? Good)) No one can really look at each other the same? Though they do have a meeting to sort it out, get everything out in the open.

- Raven’s annual kidnapping/attempt to convert her/torture comes almost exactly one year after Damian joined the team (this is his 2nd time dealing with this)

-- This time Damian is prepared. By prepared I mean Raven doesn’t even leave her apartment before she is taken to safety. 

    “Damian what is going on?”

    “Christmas came early this year that’s what.”

    “Christmas? What in gods name are you talking about.”

    “God has no dealings in this matter.”

    “You do realize you are sounding like a bad action movie? It is not even 6 am and I am in your car going somewhere, I have had little to no sleep and I am barely dressed. What is going on?” Damian hadn’t payed attention to what clothing Raven was wearing. His mind was on one goal. Find Raven, keep Raven safe. His eyes glanced off the road enough to realize she was indeed not properly dressed. Her body was merely adorned with an oversized tee-shirt, tiny barely there shorts and a pair of fluffy socks.

    “I apologize, it appears in my haste I did not leave you time to properly clothe yourself. As to why you are here, it seems your father and his people have shortened their waiting time this year from one year to a little more than ten months.” Ravens hands fisted her shirt. “This time I was prepared,” last time he was still new to everything, last time he made mistakes, this time there will be no mistakes. “Since our last encounter with your demon, so to speak, I have been setting in place precautions and safety measures to ensure Nevermore and yours’ safety. I have also been tracking the movements of his big players. If any came close I would mark it down. Multiple are entering the city at this moment. Seeing as you we taken last time I have made plans to ensure that will not happen again.” The car made a snap turn down an unfamiliar street pulling Raven from her clouded gaze.

    “So I am going to be okay this time?” Her voice was faint and restraining against hope.

    “You’re going to be okay.” His hand lightly held hers. Only to stop the shaking, they told themselves, only to make everything better. “Nevermore is with Titus at my place being watched by a friend of mine. I have already walked Grayson through everything we will not be expected at work this week, but we can work remotely.”

     “We?”

     “I’m not going to leave you. Ever.”

-- ((Sorry for the blocks of text))

-- As Raven finds out they are at one of Damian’s safe houses. The one least likely to be tied to her. It is fully stocked with food, has security cameras and if needed weapons. The only problem is that the only clothes there are Damians.

    “Thought of everything huh?”

     “I was following their pattern, I expected to have more time to acquire clothing for you.” (he was looking away and blushing, you cannot tell me he wasn’t)

-- Raven just resigns herself to wearing Damian’s clothes, yes his brain does stop working for a hot second when he sees her in only his clothes.

-- All attempts to try and retrieve codename: Gem of Scath are foiled (like some good math)

-- So many bonding moments happen. Cuddling (pure accident *rolls eyes*), eating together, inside jokes, etc. At one point Damian answers her phone (he disabled and disconnected the tracer) to one of the mob guys after them.

    “Hello?”

     “You can hide the gem but we will find her.”

     “I’m sorry, is there a jewel you are looking for? I don’t think I have and any jewels that I am coveting.”

     “We know you are with her! It is but a matter of time until we collect her.”

     “I hope you do eventually find whatever you are looking for sir, but I haven’t the slightest idea the gem you speak of. If you could give me a physical description? Is it a ruby, diamond, onyx? Is it round or more of a pear shape?”

    “...”

    “Well, I will look for it here, but I do not believe I possess what you speak of. Will you give me your number so I can call you back?” (The line cuts dead, and Raven can be seen laughing in the background, the phone was on speaker)

-- Once the team tracks down, arrests and interrogates all of the parties working for Trigon; Raven and Nevermore can go home. Though both are reluctant in their own way. Nevermore has grown attached to Titus, and Raven well Raven has feelings. Sadly, as Raven knows, feelings are dangerous to have in their line of work. 

-- Look at Dick and Kori they were together and then they fell apart and the team almost imploded.

-- What about Trigon if he finds out about Damian and how she feels towards him? What kind of danger will he be in then?

-- Like all of her feelings Raven puts them in a box and locks the box away. Not just figuratively, in her safe there is a box with: post its, torn papers, journals, etc. That box has a lock on it. Whenever she has a new feeling that she cannot ignore, like her feelings towards Special Agent Wayne, she takes out the box and writes her feelings down. They can range from a single sentence to pages worth. (Her feelings towards Damian fill a small notebook she has on hand). Once she has written all of her feelings out she places them in the box, locks said box and then places the locked box in her safe, which she then locks.

-- Is this a healthy way to cope with her feelings? Maybe not. But, it is way better than how Damian deals with his. Violence. Also art but violence comes first.

- At this point both Damian and Raven have caught the feelings (highly contagious I hear), which makes this a little awkward and a little not awkward. For one everyone but Raven knows how Damian feels towards her. He does things for her and with her that no one else gets the privilege to.

-- To list a few:

--- He brings her tea whenever he gets himself coffee or tea

--- He talks to her about what he does outside of work, even about his kind of friend definitely not enemy, Jon.

--- They socialize outside of work. Watching bad movies (some of them are not that bad), going to the park with Titus (they once got Nevermore in a leash and walked her), meeting each other before and after work to get breakfast or dinner.

--- He doesn’t glare at her

--- He allows physical contact between the two

--- He worries about her (hello he created an entire plan so that she wouldn’t get kidnapped, with contingencies and everything, garfield would be lucky to get a plan)

--- His eyes light up when she talks, or enters a room, or you know exists in his vicinity

--- He actually smiles around her (Dick caught him smiling once at Raven and he though Damian was having a stroke)

-- Even though everyone knows Damian likes Raven, very few know that Raven likes Damian back. (this only includes; Kori, Dick, Jason, Titus, Nevermore, and Melvin) She does do certain things that give herself away just like Damian.

--The list:

--- When Damian gets frustrated or angry she puts a hand on his arm, or holds his hand

--- She laughs at things he does (light chuckles, or little giggles)

--- She will talk to him about his interests and actively tries to have conversations with him about things unrelated to work.

--- She blushes when he does something unexpected (like a compliment)((Mostly she tries to hide it until he isn’t looking at her))(((Kori has caught the blush before)))

-- Luckily for them it does not take some cliche ‘One suddenly becomes in danger and the other one saves them only to be close to death and then they admit their love for one another and promise to go on a date when the other is healed’ situation. 

-- Damian actually asks Raven out after being tipped of by Jason and Dick that she may like him back. Damian finds out when they have days off at the same time and asks her while leaving work.

   “Raven, you have this weekend off correct?”

   “Yeah I do. I wasn’t planning on doing anything though. Did you have something in mind?”

    “Um, yeah, heh, I was wondering if you would do me the pleasure of going to dinner with me tomorrow.” *Awkwardly rubs back of neck*

    “Like a date or two friends going to dinner?” *Thinks she sounds harsh* “I am honestly fine with either since we are friends.” *nervous smile*

     “Like a date if that is okay with you of course.”

     “Yeah, yeah totally that is totally okay with me.” *Starts sounding like a teenage girl who only knows about 10 words, because she’s nervous*

      “Good, I’ll be by your place around 1830, if that is okay?” *nerve central, the central nervous system could never*

       “Yup that is totally fine with me.”

       “Great.”

       “Good.” The elevator opens in the knick of time.

       “See you tomorrow evening Agent Roth. Have a good night.”

        “You too, Agent Wayne, you too.”

-- When Damian does pick her up he feels like his brain is going to explode. She looks absolutely breathtaking. This is just like all the other times they’ve gone to dinner, except this restaurant is slightly fancier and they are on a date.

-- Raven feels as though all her emotions are leaking out at once, she has no idea what she is doing.

-- In the end they have a good time and decide to do it again. Damian does bring up that all of the breakfasts and dinners they regularly do could now be considered dates. Raven does not oppose that switch at all.

- Fast forward a handful of years (like 3?), Damian and Raven are moved in together (Nevermore and Titus are happy about this, they even allow the humans to adopt another pet, a cat named Alfred). Damian is now Supervisory Special Agent Wayne and is in charge of their unit. Raven has retired from field work and now works at the FBI academy and at Virginia State University. In about 6 months Damian is going to propose and Raven will say yes. Their wedding will be small but happy and full of life.

Once again I would like to thank everyone and all the support the previous post got.

Like last time if anything is disjointed, out of place or seems wrong, please go ahead and tell me. I have been working on this since the last one, but have finally had the time to finish it.

I hope the new year will bring us all some good. Possibly more head canons to come.

[karla-the-elemental-dreamer]

KH-OC Week - Catch Up: Day 5 - (5 AUG 2021)

@khoc-week

The prompt I am doing for this one is 'Memory'. I thought this was just going to be a little diary entry simulation, but I ended up getting carried away and made a little fictional piece out of it. This does not necessarily follow my IRL existence and my dream avenues, this piece is more a completely imaginative fiction (incorporates only some aspects of stories from dreams); and what it would be like if I had a more concrete position, like living there for significant periods of time.

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Diary Entry Written: 8 AUG 2021 (8:08 PM)

Words: 1,652

As I sit here in isolation, thinking about how lonely it is here in the house, I remember all the times I spent with Riku and his friends, who are in turn my friends, and this makes me happy. All of a sudden I don’t feel so alone anymore, and as the memories replay, it’s like the people in them are actually with me; we are experiencing these moments all over again.

At the start, it was hard as I tried to introduce myself to a new world of people and vice-versa. I would tell Riku about myself, and it seemed like he was listening, but a few hours went by, and it’s like he forgot what I had told him… Sort of like he didn’t care, but then I knew Riku wasn’t naturally like this. At the time, I was new, and with Riku having redeemed himself from the darkness, I guess his insecurities were… Protecting him in a way; he did not want to be deceived again. It’s always hard at the start when I know exactly the person I want to show to others, but that they may not perceive me the way I perceive me. I knew exactly how Riku felt, which why I thought to myself, “Just be kind��, because in truth, it’s sometimes actions that speak louder than words.

So I took it upon myself to look out for Riku’s friends when he himself couldn’t be there, or if he was there but he was caught up in another matter. I recall the first thing I did for one of those ‘guardians of light’, so they are called. Xehanort had gotten the best of Sora, shattering him into a million pieces (emotionally), as he was made to watch Xemnas almost incapacitate Kairi. I yelled to Kairi, “Why aren’t you using your keyblade? You have one!”. Of course at the time, Kairi didn’t know who I was, and so she was hesitant to follow my advice. But just as Xemnas was about to make her take her last breath, it seems like Kairi knew what I was on about, and fear was turned into common sense. I continued to yell from the bottom of the plateau; “you get into these situations because people think you can’t fight for yourself!”.

As Riku was busy trying to keep himself from being dominated by Ansem, he looked over at Kairi’s direction with a sort of slant in his face. He himself didn’t know that I was standing below, he could only be confused by the voice he was hearing, but then I think that in Riku’s heart, he agreed that Kairi needed to become stronger and stand up for herself more… Because others won’t always be around. As Kairi swiped the keyblade, Xemnas was launched back, with a shocked look on his face like he didn’t even think the girl could do it. Both Sora and Riku looked at each other, and then to Kairi, with a look of amazement as they saw that she pried herself from Xemnas.

I skip to after that battle, where I heard Kairi say to them, “I probably wouldn’t have made it if it wasn’t for that girl”. Sora had answered, “No Kairi, it was all you. See, you do have in you, and for that, I’m proud of you”. Kairi stopped him, “But that voice, it helped me a lot”. Riku was curious and so he peered through a wall of the graveyard ruins, and he could see me walking away as I felt I had done my job. A few of these moments, and down the track, Riku began to trust me and see that I meant no harm. Rather than pushing me away and only what I thought was him pretending to care, he took more of an interested and asked me what I wanted when he noticed that I wanted or needed something.

Six months later, and Riku is the father figure I never would have dreamed of back then. And back then I thought I could never show that I was weak, or he would become uncomfortable with such thoughts and push me away. But then he later would accept me for who I am, and he said that is was okay for me to be weak. As my dream guide, he told me that it’s impossible for a person to be strong all the time, and when the cracks show, that it’s no problem to rely on others to build us up. Though Riku did admit that he himself wasn’t perfect, and that some of the messages he shared with me were inspired by Sora’s way of thinking. Riku would tell me stories of the time he and Sora spent together, and he said that he loved Sora very much… But then Riku also admitted that he had a place for me as well, as he did for all his friends.

Down the track, Riku encouraged me to meet his other friends. In Twilight Town, he introduced me to Roxas, Lea and Xion. At first, Roxas didn’t seem too convinced that I was trustworthy, but after a few rods from Riku, Roxas was able to see. I remember telling Roxas that I was aware of all his trauma from the events of KH-Days and KH2, and I said to Roxas that if there was a way for me to bring him back in time so that he never had to go through such a thing, I would. In-fact that’s when I said to any guardian of light who had been through some sort of deep darkness. That if I had the power to change things, I would.

And this is in-fact how I became closer to Terra. Because of all that Terra had been through with Xehanort, he initially thought I was trying to lead him on. However, I understood exactly why Terra wasn’t convinced, and from Riku encouraging me and standing in the same room as I spoke, I told Terra that I understood exactly why. I stated that I witnessed everything that Xehanort did thanks to the accounts of KH-BBS, and I said that I would never wish that on anybody. I said to Terra that I wanted to see him enjoy his life, and that I would be a good friend who would do anything to help him get back the joy that he missed out on for 11 years.

So when I could go on a mission with Riku, I would. But the mission would be so dangerous that Riku wouldn’t let me go no matter how strong I claimed to be, Terra was always the first person he took me to, and in turn Terra would always be the first one to offer to look after me on Riku’s behalf. And then even in a streak of no missions, I lived with Riku on the islands, but I would occasionally go for sleepovers at the Land of Departure.

Aqua and Ventus would sometimes spend time with us, but everybody understood that Terra was my special connection to that place. So as Aqua would have bonding time Ventus, Terra would have it with me. I remember once, I brought a couple of canvas over as I wanted to see if Terra could paint. He didn’t have that steady-a-hand, and unfortunately he ended up making a bit of a mess, but we could make out that the painting was of him, Aqua and Ventus.

I ended up painting a picture of me, with the Land of Departure in the background, holding my Spirit of Brigid keyblade. Why did I decide to draw this keyblade? Firstly, I thought it fit the royal aesthetic of the place. But secondly, I had this memory while painting. The first time I picked up that keyblade, I didn’t realised it was serving as a music box as I heard the school song playing from within the metal! I remember I had to actually slap the keyblade, and that’s when the music stopped and I could use it as a keyblade and not a darn radio. In-fact these days, when the Spirit of Brigid plays the school song, Riku laughs, and he sometimes even slaps the keyblade for me.

So after I spent the night and/or day with Terra, Riku would come to collect me, and Terra would tell him what a great time we had, and if Terra actually had fun. And then Riku would take me home, back to the islands. That same evening, we would walk along the beach, and Riku would ask me for my perspective on the stay. And sometimes, depending on what I told Riku, he would turn my experience into lessons and give me further advice or insights into life.

I would ask how Riku’s missions went, but sometimes he wouldn’t say much. I knew he still kept some things to himself, but at the same time, I understood. It’s not because he couldn’t trust me. Instead, it was more because he likely wouldn’t wish his experiences on me, or something really bad happened to him that he just had to keep it inside. However, for as long as I was under Riku’s roof, even on our bad days, we would always end the night and start the new day together. We slept in his bed, and he’d have his arm over me, ready to comfort me if I had any nightmares.

So yes I may be trapped in my own house, outside the KH world at the moment. But when I think about the day that Riku took me in; Lea and Roxas taking me out for ice-cream whenever I visited Twilight town; Terra babysitting me, and having the delicious dinners that Aqua made, it’s like there with me at this very moment, and I know I’ll be back to see them soon.

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Hope you enjoyed reading that piece! Now to race to get Day 6 and 7 out in a reasonable time-frame so it isn't too late outside the week. Day will contain a special drawing that I trying to finish. Day 7 may be another written piece.

[philliamwrites]

Cor Cordium

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts (3)

Pairings: Riku/Sora, Roxas/Sora (one-sided), Axel/Roxas (hinted), Vanitas/Ventus (Hinted), Aqua/Terra (mentioned)

Tags: #character study, #relationship study, #post canon, #post kh3, #spoilers, #mourning, #multiple pov, #little dialogue

Words: 6.9k (nice)

Summary: O heart of hearts, the chalice of love’s fire, Hid round with flowers and all the bounty of bloom; […] It is not the end of his story, only the beginning, but everyone is too occupied with mourning to understand.

Cor Cordium

Tell me, Atlus. What is heavier? The world or its people’s hearts?

        Sora remembers the phantom feeling of sand under his palms, warm little crystals pressing into his skin. He can’t tell if this is really a memory or just a wish. Lately, it’s been difficult to tell them apart, their lines blurring together. Or maybe since he arrived Here, it’s never been clear from the start, and he’s just clinging to shadows dancing in the back of his mind. He is floating. Or at least he thinks he is. A strange sensation tingles through his body, it feels like thousand ants are crawling on his skin, and yet he knows that his body isn’t really here. Wherever Here is. Sora is passably conscious, not asleep but not quite awake either.

         Darkness surrounds him. He can’t see it— it’s more of a feeling, a gentle brush of air against his mind, but it doesn’t scare him. This darkness isn’t the end, it isn’t the beginning either. It is nothing, this blank space between existing and disappearing, and somehow Sora managed to get caught in there. How is he supposed to explain that to Kairi and Riku? And just like that, the warm feeling dissipates, and Sora thinks of his life and his friends, and how both are so closely linked together. One cannot exist without the other. But with each passing moment, Sora feels bits and pieces of him crumbling into dust, scattering like sand swirled by a breeze on a warm summer day.

         Sora is alone. He is cold. He is afraid. He is dimly aware of pain, but mostly of a tremendous fatigue, as if he has been covered in layer upon layer of impossibly heavy blankets. It takes a moment for him to realise the wet drops on his face are his own tears, and he curls into a small ball, clinging to himself. He would give anything to see his friends again.

         Minutes, hours pass. Maybe only seconds. Time is a foreign concept, a construct not applicable to Sora. Oblivion is grey, it eats at Sora’s mind, at his heart, and he wants to fight it because they can take anything from him but his heart; his heart, a place for so many lives; a prison? A fortress filled with light of hopes and promises he’ll never be able to keep. Maybe now he is paying for the sins he doesn’t remember, for the dreams he’s failed to fulfil, hunting him like hungry beasts with sharp claws.

         He’s always known that his most powerful trait was his heart, and so in the end it was only natural that it would be his demise as well. O heart of hearts, beloved of all beloveds is a line from somewhere Sora can’t remember, but he feels it quite fits. He is the core of a small universe in which everyone stretches their hands out to touch him, to take something from him— and Sora wants to give, to give so much that in the end nothing will be left of him. Somehow he thinks that is quite alright, for he is the heart of hearts.

☆

         When Sora disappears, Roxas bolts awake from a restless sleep, tears blurring his vision and burning like acid on his cheeks. He isn’t just crying; Roxas is wheezing, sobbing as his heart breaks, and he realises Sora is gone. He can’t breathe. It feels like something vital is missing—a limb or a sense, and he wonders if this is how Ventus is feeling all the time since Vanitas’ disappearance. He doesn’t hear Axel’s worried voice calling his name over and over again; he doesn’t feel his long, heavy arms around his waist. Roxas only feels this boiling, parching anger at Riku, because out of all people, he must have known what was coming. And he let Sora go.

         Roxas jumps out of bed, long legs tangled in the sheets, and lands face first on the carpet. His cheek burns from the friction, but the pain is nothing compared to what is raging inside his chest. Ever since he’s become his own person, everything has become a little too much. He remembers his first week back in Twilight Town. When he saw Hayner, Pence and Olette, Roxas was so overwhelmed, he thought for a moment he would die because beside all the happiness swelling inside his chest, there was also some sense of immense grief. He mourned for the hours spent without them; he mourned for the person he could have been if he’d been a normal boy, his own person from the very beginning, and he mourned for all the stories and adventures he’s missed because of that.

         And yet, he’s never felt anything like this—not when Xion crumbled into little shards of light in his arms, not when he learnt he’d have to disappear because he didn’t exist in the first place. Roxas has had a front row view to many dire times in his life when happiness was a foreign word he couldn’t explain. But this is something else entirely, something so overwhelming that Roxas is afraid; he’s one raw nerve, burning and sensible to any kind of contact. He’s unsure what exactly he tells Axel, but it’s effective because he helps dressing Roxas, and they’re immediately off to Destiny Islands where they are greeted by the sun blasting down on them. Roxas shields his eyes, scanning the beach for a flash of silver hair. He knows this place like the back of his hand even though he’s only been here once after their victory over the Seekers of Darkness. But every place Sora has visited is engraved in the back of Roxas’ closed eyes, familiar and a second home to his heart.

         “Maybe no one’s home,” Axel says somewhere behind him. He’s looking out at the sea, watches as the waves curl against the white sand. The sun reflecting on the clear water draws bright shapes on his face, catching in his radiant, green eyes.

         “No. He’s here,” Roxas says with a solid certainty, for Destiny Island was always and will always be the place connecting everything. It’s the knot where all strings come together, where each destiny is carved in some way.

         They follow faint footsteps left on the beach, when Roxas notices movement in the corner of his eye. Near the seaside shack, he can see two figures close to each other, but the voices drown in the sound of ocean waves. Roxas speeds up, and when Riku turns, eyes wide and red-rimmed, Roxas doesn’t think twice. His fist connects with Riku’s jaw and hot pain explodes in Roxas’ hand. It’s enough to send Riku to the ground. Roxas follows him.

         “You knew!” he screams, swinging at Riku for a second time. “You fucking knew, and you let him go anyway?!”

         Distantly, he hears Axel calling his name, but Roxas ignores him. He’s very adamant on punching his fist through Riku’s face who puts insult to injury and doesn’t fight back. It only confirms Roxas’ suspicion: Riku knew he’d come for him. It does nothing to diminish Roxas’ anger.

         “Give me one damn reason why I shouldn’t drop you in the darkest pit I can find,” he hisses, grabbing Riku’s collar. Blood runs from his nose over his mouth and chin, but Riku only blinks. The tip of his tongue darts out to clean it from his lips. When he doesn’t answer, Roxas begins to shake him. “Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you tell me?” Someone grabs Roxas’ shoulder, pulling him back, but with more vigour than before, Roxas pulls himself free, and lands another good hit in Riku’s face. “Why didn’t you stop him?” Too many thoughts race in his mind, and he can’t grasp any of them; they slip like sand through his fingers. Finally Axel, that traitor, pulls Roxas off, and Roxas fights with flailing arms and legs. His elbow finds its way in Axel’s side, winning Roxas an opening. He bolts for Riku, stumbling and shaking uncontrollably.

         “How could you?!” Roxas’ voice breaks. He’s grabbing again for Riku’s collar, but his hands betray him as well and search for purchase on his jacket, begging to have a grip on something solid, something that won’t disappear like Sora. “Riku, how could you? Don’t just stare at me, say something. Say something, Riku!”

         He’s still met with silence that is so loud it drives him insane, and Roxas doesn’t know what else to do; what else will make Riku talk and explain.

         Someone tugs on the hem of his west, and Roxas feels Oathkeeper and Oblivion seconds away from finding their way into his hands, ready to cut through anyone trying to stop him from unleashing another wave of fury. But when he sees it’s Kairi holding onto him, that rage dissipates, and makes way for a different feeling he is far more scared of: grief. Seeing Kairi standing in front of him only confirms this reality Roxas refuses to accept. He wants to beg her to let him go, to stop looking at him with those big, teary eyes so similar to Sora’s. Instead he collapses in front of her, and wails a small, painful sound so inhuman it tears through his own ears. Roxas cries.

         She can’t take away that anger from him because without it he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to feel, and feeling itself becomes too much. He knows there is an emptiness waiting for him after all of this, and he’s too afraid to face it.

         Riku’s hand curls around his arm, and then he is kneeling beside Roxas, leaning his forehead against Roxas’ shoulder. Roxas feels more than he hears the sob rolling through his body, and he wants to push Riku away, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He’s cried himself tired already. Hours pass as they stay like this, holding hands and weeping with rasping sobs, as if trying to force air into lungs crushed by grief, until Roxas passes out at some point.

         The next time he wakes up it’s with less tears, but grief is still a cold hook sitting deep under his skin. His face hurts, but no matter how much he splashes cool water on it, the swelling around his eyes doesn’t go away. He finds Axel outside sitting on the big trunk facing the setting sun. Kairi is beside him with eyes fixed on the red horizon, unblinking. Roxas has noticed it before. Since their arrival, Kairi hasn’t said anything.

         “Roxas.” Riku is standing behind him, and Roxas catches the fruit thrown at him with little elegance. Riku’s face looks awful. A dark, ugly bruise colours his right eye purple, rivalled by another one forming on his left, swollen cheek. He’s too smart to ask if Roxas is okay, so instead he settles on a wordless observation. Roxas ignores him. He feels too vulnerable and exposed in front of those keen, cyan eyes. The fruit explodes with a sweet taste in his mouth, reminding Roxas of how much he loves this place. He’s adopted it from Sora; that and many other little traits he still has to sort out who they belong to. Knowing this place will never be the same without Sora opens up a new, fresh wound Roxas knows no Cura or potion is able to heal.

         “What’s the plan?” he asks, wiping his fingers on his pants. When Riku doesn’t answer immediately, Roxas’ fist burns with the need to punch him again. “You do have a plan, don’t you?” he presses further, feeling his irritation grow.

         Eventually, Riku drags a hand over his face, and sighs. “We’ll talk to Mickey. And Master Yen Sid,” he says, avoiding Roxas’ eyes. “Hopefully one of them knows something.”

         “That’s it?” Roxas barely manages to contain his anger from sipping into his voice. “You just hope they know something?”

         “They’ve always helped us, so yes.” Blatant challenge flashes in Riku’s eyes when he finally meets Roxas’. “We will go and see them.”

         A muscle twitches in Roxas’ jaw. “I don’t remember them doing anything to help me, so maybe revaluate who you’re going to ask for help.”

         Riku gives him a sharp glare. “Careful.”

         But Roxas has had his fair share of depending on old guys who used him for whatever ulterior motive they had, and frankly he can do without it. “Sora needs us now. You can sit around if you want, but I’m going to look for him.”

         He’s almost down the gangplank when Riku calls after him. “And where do you think you’re going? You think visiting world after world will bring you closer to find him?”

         Roxas exhales audibly, and wills himself not to turn around, but he’s always been bad at containing all the rage that’s accumulated over the past years. It is this anger that has always set him apart from Sora; that hate towards people who hurt him always drew the clear line between them. This simple black and white was easy to grasp and understand, and even easier to identify with until Sora plunged Roxas’ world into vibrant colours and complex structures, and brought with him so many people Roxas didn’t know and yet meant so much to him. He hates how this even applies to Riku, despite this envy, a churning black storm hidden in his chest. Riku and Sora are inseparable, and Roxas loathes it.

         The only comfort lies in how he loves Sora, for Roxas has loved Sora in a way only Ventus and Xion might understand; in a way that is so unfair to Axel who’s trying his best to become everything for Roxas. But Roxas doesn’t want this. He wants Sora. He wants the world, the heart knowing every part of him. His home. Roxas remembers when he returned to Sora. Trying to do the right even though he knew it would mean his end, but once he found peace within Sora, Roxas understood the meaning of home, and the meaning of people’s destinies intertwining.

         “If aimlessly searching for Sora will eventually lead to find him, then yes.” Roxas says, voice lacking any heat he’d hoped would burn Riku. Instead a strange resignation shackles every breath in his lungs, and he knows he will only be free when he finds Sora. “I will visit world after world, until the end if I have to.”

         Riku drags his eyes from Kairi and Axel back to Roxas, and considers him for a moment in which Roxas tries to see himself through Riku’s perspective— the boy with Sora’s eyes; the Nobody who long ago took something important from Sora, the little piece necessary to complete something far bigger than all of them. A small sighs escapes his lips, and somewhere in there Roxas hears the unspoken You’re just as reckless as Sora. When he closes the distance between them, all muscles in Roxas tense with intuitive caution he can’t get rid of, no matter how often he’s seen Riku by now.

         “I want to get him back more than anything else,” Riku says, and in that small moment Roxas sees his vulnerability for the first time. Something tightens in Roxas’ chest, and he takes a step away from Riku. “It’s been only a couple of hours since Kairi returned. And still, I already see him in everything, and I try to be kind to everything because maybe …” His voice tears on the last word, a ragged note of grief like ripped paper. Riku turns his head away from Roxas, but he doesn’t miss how Riku’s lips close into a tight line. “Stumbling through world after world might end up losing him even more,” he finishes. His calm mask is back, and Roxas just can’t understand how Riku is capable of that.

         “That didn’t stop Sora from looking for you and Kairi,” Roxas throws back, chin raised stubbornly.

         “No, it didn’t.” Riku looks back at Kairi, and that’s when Roxas understands that he’s searching for the right words to tell her that he will leave the Island.

         “Then forget your pride for a second,” Roxas says. “And let us help.”

         Riku looks like he wants to say something, but then he just gives Roxas a little, tight-lipped smile, and turns to join Kairi up on the trunk. Roxas stares holes into his back. He’ll never understand what Sora sees in him.

         He retreats to the shore until cool water sloshes against his feet. A biting cold settles over Roxas, but he knows that doesn’t come from the ocean. Sora has always said how it is a part of the human experience to feel pain, that it is part of a heart, and how it strengthens you, how it connects you, but Roxas dully registers he’d rather have it ripped out of him if it means he’s spared the missing and longing. When he lowers his gaze unto the water, his reflection stares back at him, showing a pale face and golden hair sticking to all sides. His radiant eyes are a beacon, the colour of the sky. A sharp throb drives like a spear through Roxas’ ribs. Everything hurts, he thinks and waits a moment, but his only companion is silence. Sora was a mirror to Roxas, like Ventus to Vanitas. When Roxas said, everything hurts, Sora whispered, but everything can heal. He’s learnt from Sora that hate is a lazy thing, heavy, a burden; but not as heavy or difficult as love so many carry around but are unwilling to practice. Roxas will try better. It’s the least he can do to pay for everything Sora did for him.

         Under the water’s surface he spies a Thalassa Shell. Roxas picks it up, and hopes Xion is doing okay. They will all go and look for Sora, and they will find him. They’ve all deserved their happy end. Standing in the dawn, Roxas vows it on the shell, closing his hand tight around it until the edges cut into his skin.

☆ ☆

         When Sora disappears, Ventus fears Vanitas is also gone forever. There’s a strange tug in his chest, like his heart knows there is a place he’s supposed to be, and wonders why Ventus doesn’t follow this call. It’s different from when he longed for Aqua and Terra. During his search for them he was constantly followed by this certainty that they’ll be reunited. This is different. This is Ventus closing his eyes to a darkness he knows his keyblade won’t be able to slice through. He’s afraid to fall asleep, the only place where he’s had at least a small connection to Vanitas. If that is gone as well, Ventus would rather not wake up at all. It hurts even more since their return to the Land of Departure because Ventus expected only good things to happen from that point on, admittedly now a naive hope quickly quenched by Sora’s fate.

         Ventus is sitting on his bed, a heavy blanket around his shoulders. Thousand stars twinkle above him like tears, and he wonders if the other worlds feel that Sora is gone as well. He wonders if somewhere Kingdom Hearts is crying, having lost such a pure, eminent light. Out of his window he can see the training grounds. In a couple of months, they could be occupied my apprentice keyblade wielders again. Aqua has shown her determination to become the steward and rekindle the original purpose of the castle, and both Terra and Ventus are as eager to help her; Terra even more so. He’s adamant to repent, ignoring Aqua’s and Ventus’ claim that his return is enough. But Terra had shaken his head at that. “It is a debt I will never be able to repay,” he’d said, standing in front of Master Eraqus’ grave. “But I will try. Until my last breath, I will try to set this right.”

         It was difficult to explain how none of this had been Terra’s fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. They were victims of a game no one held control over— pieces on a lethal board with cruel rules no one really knew. It’s a wonder they made it out alive, together and unscathed, and still, they paid a price for that happy end, some more than others. Ventus hasn’t heard from Riku and Kairi in a while, but his comfort lies in how Aqua and Terra keep looking at each other. Strangely, now more than ever before Ventus notices how close they are. It is probably true what they say about being separated. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and if Terra and Aqua think he’s too chaste to figure out the meaning behind the dark spots on Aqua’s neck or below Terra’s ears, they underestimate him severely.

         Once he’s asked Aqua about them, but she only gave him a little, sheepish smile before pushing a loose strand behind his ear. “You’ll learn soon enough,” she’d said. Terra had avoided his eyes, his hands busy with pulling on his keychain, a habit whenever he’s embarrassed. Ventus had just looked at Aqua with a careful, blank expression, and let her believe that he doesn’t touch himself under his blanket to quiet whispers of boy’s names. Ever since he woke up, and spent time with everyone else, he’s noticed how certain things jump right to his attention like a beacon. Terra’s muscles moving during practice. Hayner’s incredibly beautiful eyes, filled with wonder and excitement. Riku’s smooth, flawless skin. Then again, he’s spend so much time inside Sora’s heart who grew up beside Riku, and for Ventus to develop his attraction to boys was only natural. Ventus doesn’t want to remember when he saw Riku for the first time. Dozens of images from Sora’s fantasies flashed before his eyes, and he kept his distance to Riku, unsure how to handle the emotions. It isn’t something bad, that he knows. His friends would never judge him for liking boys. They all love each other too much for such a trivial think to matter, and why should it? It is love nonetheless, and every single one of them is just as much starving for it as they are ready to give.

         And still, Ventus is so insecure, because he always ends up thinking about Vanitas. Vanitas is his mirror, reflecting unspoken pieces of Ventus he himself is afraid to face. If Ventus starts thinking too hard about it, he’ll probably stumble upon answers he wouldn’t even know what to do with. And so he tries to turn away whenever he spies glances of blue turning into intimidating gold, and buries the questions deep into his heart where he hopes they’ll suffocate from the silence.

         A soft knock stops Ventus’ thoughts. His body tenses, and he waits for more to come. Instead, Terra’s voice carries through the door. “Ven? Ven, you awake?”

         He could lie and pretend he isn’t but after days of locking himself in his room, Ventus started missing his friends. His only fear is that if Terra sees his sketches of Vanitas’ key chain and the logo of the Unversed scribbled on paper, he will take them away and burn them between his fingers like Aqua did. Behind the door, Ventus hears shuffling, and the fear that Terra leaves bolts like a hot spell through him. He sits up, and tells Terra to come in. The door opens with a soft click. Light from the outside hall streams into the room, casting away shadows, and once Ventus sees Terra’s broad shoulders filling the door frame, breathing becomes easier.

         “Hey, champ.” Terra gives him a little smile. “Thought you might be hungry.”

         Ventus isn’t, but nods anyway, just to see the little hope in Terra’s eyes— the very first sight of progress he and Aqua managed since Ventus’ withdrawal. He makes room on his bed, and turns on the star shaped lamp sitting beside his bed on a narrow table as Terra crosses the room. A plate with fruits, cheese and meat lands between them while Terra takes a seat on the edge, watching Ventus eagerly. Just to make Terra happy, Ventus picks one grape and puts it in his mouth.

         “How are you?” Terra asks, much more straightforward than Aqua with her careful, quiet words. Ventus thinks about how he doesn’t want to get up forever. How this feeling weighs on him like an anchor pulling him deeper and deeper into darkness. He thinks about lying, but Ventus never wants to be separated from his family ever again— physically and emotionally, so he settles with a neutral, “I don’t know.”

         Terra nods. He leans back on his arms, the skin pulling tight where his muscle tense. Ventus looks away, and stares at the faintly glowing star stickers on his shelf Aqua gave him on his birthday. He wonders if Vanitas ever got a present from Xehanort, and has to bite his lip to conceal a laugh because that is just too ridiculous.

         “—us? Hey, Ven?” Fingers pop in front of Ventus’ eyes, making him flinch. “Just where are you with your head?”

         A strange smile pulls Terra’s face into an expression Ventus is unfamiliar with. Another pang of guilt settles in his chest, and he misses those times when he understood Terra and Aqua without a word.

         “I’m thinking about where Sora is,” Ventus lies. Terra frowns. He must know Ventus isn’t telling the truth but decides to go with it anyway.

         “Don’t worry,” he says, stealing a piece of cheese from Ventus’ plate. “We’ll find him. Since Aqua can’t reach Riku or Kairi, they might have left already.”

         Ventus hums, but somehow he doesn’t think that’s the case. What Sora, Riku and Kairi have; how they are is much more complicated. Ventus even doubts the word love can grasp what they feel for each other. At times, he’s jealous of that connection, and the next moment he is afraid of it. He’s felt it in Sora’s sacrifice back then for Kairi, and in Aqua’s never ending believe in Terra, and what is love if not an immense power capable of pushing people to their limits and beyond, a weapon justifying any sort of destruction. Tightening his blanket around his shoulders, Ventus dugs his head and shuffles closer to Terra.

         “You know, I always keep thinking that maybe … we could have done something,” he confesses. “That if Sora trusted us a little more, he’d asked for our help.”

         “Do you really think Sora didn’t trust us?” Terra asks, leaning back until he’s lying next to Ventus, arms crossed behind his head.

         “Well, what other explanation is there?” Ventus hates that he sounds like a sulking boy, offended because a friend didn’t ask him to join the playing. But he’d always thought the connection between him and Sora was something special, something untouchable and set into stone. He’s protected Sora just as much as Sora has protected him all those years, and Ventus hasn’t thought of stopping once.

         “You don’t really believe that.” The sound of Terra’s little laugh snaps Ventus’ head up. “I know you don’t.”

         “Huh?”

         “We’re not that different from him, Aqua, you and I. We all love too much, but isn’t that better than to have none of it?”

         “So better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?” Ventus remembers this line from a book in the library he’s read long ago, and back then he didn’t quite understand its meaning. Now, he wonders if love truly is Sora’s greatest fault, but that is hard to understand as well.

         Terra sits up, and ruffles Ventus’ hair, just like the old times when everything was simple and clean. It tightens Ventus’ chest, but this time it’s not a bad feeling at all. “You’ve been in there all this time,” he says, pointing at Ventus’ heart. “So you know the answer to that. Now eat up. And think about joining us sometime. Aqua really misses you.”

         Ventus nods, and takes another fruit. Terra’s smile widens. When he heads for the door, Ventus summons all his courage. It’s time to stop running.

         “Terra,” he calls. Terra stops, and turns around. “You really think we’ll see Sora again one day, right?”

         Terra doesn’t hesitate. “Of course. Our destinies are intertwined. And besides, you never stopped believing in bringing me back home. Now it’s my time to light someone’s way.”

         “And do you think … I’ll see Vanitas again as well some day?”

         That brings Terra’s smile to a full stop. He isn’t happy. Ventus sees it in the way Terra presses his lips into a thin line, and squares his shoulders. He avoids Ventus’ eyes for a split second, a tiny fracture of time in which Ventus stops breathing and waits for the final judgement. Eventually, Terra quickly turns around, checking if someone’s behind him, and Ventus wonders if he’s looking for Aqua.

         Quietly, Terra finally says, “If that is what you wish for, then I will do anything I can to help you fulfil it.”

         The hot sting behind Ventus’ eyes is a clear indicator for tears waiting to escape, so Ventus quickly hides his face in his blanket, shuddering with a silent sob. Only when he hears the door closing, Ventus dares to look up again. His room is dark, and the glowing stars stick out more after bathing in light, capturing Ventus’ attention. He wonders if Vanitas might like them as well.

         Ventus curls into himself and closes his eyes. Into the darkness, he whispers “Vanitas” three times.

         But nobody comes.

         The missing is the worst. All Ventus wants is to crawl inside Vanitas’ skin and stay there. He wants every piece of him to crush into every piece of Vanitas, and become whole again; to become one. He doesn’t want to keep wondering how everyone just can go on as if Vanitas never existed, not when he to Ventus is the world. His heart is still split, an open door ready for darkness to invest, and yet he knows there will only be one certain shadow his heart will allow entrance.

         Ventus blinks through the wall of tears, looking at the stars. He has to focus on Sora first. If he can’t bring him back, then certainly he’ll fail to guide Vanitas home as well. A shooting star splits the heaven in two, burning on its way down. Ventus closes his eyes. In this endless night, he has only one wish: Ventus wishes a shining light will guide Sora through a starless sky, and hopes his journey home will be soft and peaceful.

☆ ☆ ☆

         When Sora disappears, Riku doesn’t cry because he knows once he starts, he won’t be able to stop.

         His only comfort is Kairi, though she doesn’t talk, and only spends hours upon hours writing letters to Sora, all starting with my dearly beloved. Those lines remind Riku of a bittersweet melody he’s heard in a dream once, each wistful tune pulling at his heartstrings. Back then, it had also felt a lot like a farewell to a story he wasn’t yet part of, and now his chest throbs with a low, persistent rhythm of that song.

         But it’s difficult to believe this is the end. Riku is in a strange, blank space between hope and desperation, where it’s hard to look for the light, but also impossible to drown in darkness. Finding home in both, Riku is an unusual dweller cheating through life. He knows it’s more than most people get, and he’s aware of how lucky he is. Maybe that is why the universe decided he’s run out of it now, and Riku thinks how unfair that is. That they live in a universe that doesn’t want them to be together any more. It’s either him gone or Kairi, and now Sora. And so when Roxas and Lea prepared to return to Twilight Town, and Roxas had asked him, “Do you even believe that we’ll find him?” it wasn’t difficult for Riku to be honest. “I believe in a universe that doesn’t care,” he’d said. “And people who do.”

         After that, Riku started avoiding Roxas, Ventus and Xion even though it is not what they deserve after everything they’ve been through. But he can’t see them, and not think of Sora with how many of his habits they’ve inherited. Roxas carries all the anger Sora has swallowed throughout the years. Just thinking back to how Roxas had punched him, his thumb tugged into his fist like Sora always did no matter how often Riku tried to correct him, hurts like a sudden light striking his eyes in the dead of the night. Ventus is the source of Sora’s broad grins and gentle smiles, laughing at everything— a blazing sun casting away any shadows. They both know the power hiding in being soft and kind, to love and forgive. Xion is part Sora, part Kairi with her love for everything that is bright. She uses everything she can find as bookmarks: cups, little stones, little replicas of everyone’s key chains. Just like Sora she wants to be close to anyone, her happiness lies in those of others and nourishes her. They all love fruits, they all hate carrots, they all can fall asleep in the most uncomfortable places like a cat that finds home everywhere. Riku would rather gouge his eyes out than see another pair of those exact radiant, blue eyes, and so he sticks around Destiny Island, and takes care of Kairi, while she takes care of him.

         They live in a strange dynamic, part symbiotic and part parasitic. Riku tells Kairi stories about Sora both remember fondly, and she pays him with a rare smile that dissipates dark clouds in his heart. But Kairi can never truly tell him what exactly happened when Sora brought her back, and Riku is sure she can read the irritation on his face like an open book. Just seeing her is a reminder that someone is missing, the third party in their strange constellation of two, and yet more than ever before, they stick to each other like two pieces of the same soul dwelling in different bodies.

         Riku misses Sora. He misses Sora so much, it physically hurts him. He misses his easy smiles, the jokes. The reassurance that no matter what mistakes Riku has done, it’s fine. He is a good person, deserved of being a Keyblade Master. He misses how Sora was capable of turning every pain and sadness into something bright. Sora was given the rare gift to make gold out of every pain. A purer blessing doesn’t exist. But it’s not only the words Riku misses. He misses Sora’s soft skin, his parched lips mapping Riku’s body. He misses how in Sora’s arms he felt safe and at home, that there was no past, and no future. Just the present with them both as the sole habitants, a population of two and no one else was allowed between them.

         Riku remembers their first kiss. It was in the Secret Place and they were 15. It was nothing but a chaste, quick peck, lips briefly brushing against each other, and yet Sora had giggled so helplessly, cheeks red and happy like it was the most powerful experience he’s ever felt. He didn’t hide his smile, he’d always been so willing to share it with everyone. Riku remembers the jealousy he’d felt, how he thought Sora’s willingness to open up to everyone was so unfair. He made it look so easy, so effortless, like he didn’t need to think at all who might deserve his smiles. His heart was an open door, never closed, never locked. They’d kept their relationship a secret, or rather they tried. Kairi knew. She must have felt something going on between them. Riku never dared to underestimate a Princess of Light again, but it was like a noose being lifted from his neck whenever she gave him this soft, knowing smile.

         Now he tries to think back to the last time they were alone together without any responsibilities weighing on their shoulders. After defeating Ansem and returning to the Island, Mickey’s letter didn’t leave much time to catch up after the year of their separation, and after that, during their Mark of Mastery exam, Riku was everywhere but beside Sora. Now, Riku tries to ignore the little voice telling him that he’ll never see Sora again because he doesn’t believe it. He can’t believe it. Hope has been his constant companion for the last two years, and he’s grown too fond of it. Leaving it behind means to let go of the only rope of salvation Riku is clinging onto, and no matter how much darkness he’s learnt to embrace, he just knows that he will drown in those dark waves crushing upon him with what he can only describe as loneliness.

         But if life is lonely for him, it is far lonelier for Sora. When he tries to imagine in what place he must be now, Riku is quite simply angry. Martyr lies on everyone’s lips, and yet no one dares to speaks it out loud because that would be to acknowledge everyone’s fault. He knows this anger won’t bring him anywhere, but it is just hard to accept a fate that robbed the universe of someone vital to so many people.

         Sora loved like few ever could love, with all and everything; unrepentant and with a passion that burned holes in anyone’s doubt. The sea and the sky will never stop holding his ghost: in each wave Riku can hear the wisp of Sora’s laughter, in each cloud he can see the remnants of Sora’s eyes. So whenever he waits until Kairi falls asleep, trying not to dwell too long on the tears hanging on her wet lashes like dew in the morning hours, Riku then returns to his room where he mourns with the moon and the stars, and it is a bittersweet feeling to share this grief with the world.

         Five days pass, then six. On the seventh day, when he enters Kairi’s room and doesn’t find her sitting on her bed with a stack of papers resting on her thighs like usual, dread sinks in his stomach and he closes his eyes. If he loses her as well, Riku himself will burn down the Islands and start another war. On her table, Riku finds more scribbles of Sora, Donald and Goofy, all three huddled inside the gummi ship. His fingers shake when he takes the pen and draws Sora’s crown necklace in a corner, just focusing on breathing with each stroke on the paper. When his thoughts start to run in painful circles, Riku pushes the tip hard enough to rip the paper. Trying so hard to stay calm, not to cry, he doesn’t notice door opening behind him, until—

         “Riku.”

         He freezes. Behind him, Kairi looks at him with worry and something else in her eyes, but Riku doesn’t read further into it, too occupied with reaching her, holding her, holding her.

         Kairi takes one breath, then a second. Her small hands on his back feel so warm, so secure, and Riku allows himself to be weak for a moment in her arms.

         “It’s time for us, isn’t it?” Riku starts, and just the approving hum from her draws a shudder from him. “We can’t let him wait any longer.”

         “Don’t worry, Riku,” Kairi says, and just like that, the world is tiled back to its original position. “He knows we’re already on our way.”

         Riku leans back, his arms still around Kairi, and he is astonished that someone looking so fragile is so much stronger than him. Kairi considers him for a long moment. She takes Riku’s hand and squeezes tightly, leaning her head into his shoulder. Riku understands, and presses his lips to her forehead. “We’ll find him.”

         It’s not a promise. It’s an oath.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

         Sora opens his eyes. His face is wet, everything is wet and cold, and he faintly remembers the phantom feeling of something warm against his palm. He doesn’t remember what it was. When he tries to get up, his body is there, not broken, not hurt but somehow he hurts inside, and he can’t explain what it is. All around him, the artificial lights of a city illuminate the streets, but wherever he looks, shadows wait in the deepest corners to plunge on him. Something on his left palm burns, and when he looks down, numbers blink up to him in an angry red, running down.

         Instinctively, Sora closes his hand into a fist, so tight that his nails bite into his skin. His mind is foggy, but there’s a feeling that he needs to be somewhere; that he has to return somewhere he can’t name. The closest thing it reminds him of is home, and he will do anything to return. Sora has to go back, to follow this tugging inside his chest aiming for a place he doesn’t remember, for he is the heart of hearts.

               Most importantly love              Like it’s the only thing you know how              At the end of the day all this              Means nothing              […]              Nothing even matters              Except love and human connection              Who you loved              And how deeply you loved them              How you touched the people around you              And how much you gave them

             — rupi kaur

[forestwhisper3]

Welcome back to the SI/OC series, where I introduce my various brainchildren. This time around, though, we’re gonna do something a little different. Apart from giving you a couple of pics, I’ll also give you snippets that I’ve written out. This is mostly because I have nothing near resembling an actual fic and have literally just written segments.

It’s kinda long, so click the expand to read on.

So...this SI/OC is one that I’ve had in my head for a while. I mentioned her in one of Klonoadreams’s streams and figured I should probably mention her in this SI/OC series too. She is one of two for the Kingdom Hearts fandom, and when the mood strikes, I try to flesh out her story a little more. Maybe one day I’ll have something publishable. For now, here’s Ignis, a fellow student of Master Eraqus, along with Terra, Aqua, and Ventus:

This is her before everything goes to pot, however. The thing with this SI is that, despite her knowledge of the games, and despite all of her efforts to prevent the events of Birth by Sleep, she still fails. Master Xehanort is not a man easily defeated, after all. So, it is a weary, heartbroken Ignis that finds herself on Destiny Islands after she loses everything yet again...

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

'This is...'

I smiled, knowing it was a bit wry in nature. After all, whenever I'd given the thought to being here, I'd never quite pictured it...like this.

"Whoa, you were right! There is another weird person here today!"

I found myself laughing at the comment without meaning to, the reaction startling me and filling me with sorrow all at once. It had felt like ages since I'd laughed so freely...

"Hey...are you okay?"

I looked at the two boys before me, ready to assure them that everything was fine but...the words just didn't want to come out.

"You're crying..."

Fingers touched my cheeks, only to come away wet. How did I not realize...?

I gave a start when I suddenly felt small arms wrap around me, the warmth of the action seeping into the chill that had seemed to settle in me these past days.

"Don't cry," Sora pleaded, his own eyes staring earnestly into my own. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

If my next laugh was mixed with a sob, I didn't think any of us would tell.

"You already have," I told him once I'd calmed down, making sure my smile was gentle.

"Really?"

"Yes. I think a hug was just what I needed. Thank you."

"Oh! I'm glad! I don't like seeing people sad."

I smiled, the warmth continuing to spread as I studied him. I'd thought...it would be strange to see them as children while not being the same age, but...this felt right.

Suddenly, I knew what I had to do.

"My name is Ignis," I began softly, "and I come from somewhere far from these shores."

"I knew it," Riku piped up. "You're from the outside world! Just like-...uhh..."

I chuckled a bit at his attempts to back up, clearly not wanting to break his promise.

"Going by your comment earlier, I'll have to assume you've met Terra or Aqua?"

"Yeah! Miss Aqua was nice!"

"Terra was too," Riku added.

"And he left you with something special," I finished.

"Err...yeah."

"What?! He gave you a present!? No fair!"

"Hey now, don't get upset. What's your name?"

"Sora!"

"Sora..." I put my hand out, smiling at his gasp when my Keyblade appeared. "Terra entrusted your friend with something very special because he must have seen something in him...just like I see it in you."

It wasn't just because I knew what was to come. Riku's light was...amazing- there was no doubt about that. But Sora-...Sora gave off his own light too. A light so warm, and loving, and kind that it chased away the darkness and made me feel safe. I know the games had always made Sora's light out to be something special, but...Being able to feel it, and knowing that both Aqua and Terra had passed him up for one reason or another made me want to cry all over again at the injustice of it all.

Sora would not be the backup plan. Not if I had anything to say about it.

"In your hand, take this key..."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Master!/Master Ignis!"

I groaned, turning over in my cot and doing my best to block out their yells and subsequent pounding at my door.

"Master!"

I yelped when a large weight practically threw itself upon me, sighing at the sound of Sora's giggles and Riku's snickers. Still, it wasn't quite enough to stop the smile that tugged on the edge of my lips.

"Alright, alright, I'm up. What are you two doing here so early anyway?"

Sora propped his chin up on his hands from his position on top of me and grinned. "It's not early. You just slept in!"

"Yeah...I thought adults were supposed to be responsible and stuff."

Riku laughed when I threw a pillow in his direction.

"You're lucky I like you," I said without any real heat.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"This form was a particular favorite of Master Eraqus," I began, smiling slightly when I saw how much Sora and Riku were struggling to remain in position. "Not so much one of ours."

"I-...I can't feel my legs!"

"Don't tell me you-...you can't handle it, Sora!"

"Your legs are shaking too!"

I felt a laugh bubble up. God, those two really were like-

A sharp pang shot through me, and despite my best efforts, it left me feeling desolate all over again.

'I'll see them again. I know I will...but...twelve years is a long time.'

And I would be the only one to actually age.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Kairi, I understand that you don't like fighting like Sora and Riku do. Really. But...Keyblades don't just go to anyone- you have to be chosen. The fact that you have one...will you at least learn the basics? You don't have to use them, but you'll know them. Just in case."

She mulled it over for a while, before nodding.

"Thank you," I sighed out with a relieved smile.

"It...means a lot to you...doesn't it."

Despite my efforts to the contrary, the question made me freeze. By this point, the boys had given up any pretenses of being busy and were watching in unabashed curiosity. With a welling sadness that hadn't really dulled these past years and an ache in my heart, I nodded.

"It does," I confirmed quietly. "But more than that, I just want you three to be safe. To know how to take care of yourselves if-...Anyway, this is the best I can do."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Master Ignis, when-...when is Master Terra coming back?"

The question, sudden and unexpected as it was (though I really should have seen it coming), hit hard. All of a sudden, it felt like there was a vice-like grip around my heart, and I flinched so violently that there was no way I could have hidden the reaction.

And Riku- who was so clever and so observant that I was constantly reminded of Aqua -didn't fail to catch on.

"...He's not coming back. And...Master Aqua isn't either."

There was a deep hurt in his eyes, and hints of betrayal. All three of them were aware of how the relationship between Masters and students worked by now, which meant that they knew that despite the fact I was teaching all of them, only Sora was my true apprentice. The rightful heir of my teachings, so to speak.

"Oh, Riku," I breathed out, feeling that all too familiar twist of my heart, though this time, it was accompanied by the sharp sting of tears. "They-...They can't."

Riku blinked, the hurt look being replaced by a questioning one. A few feet back, Sora and Kairi watched on, too hesitant to get closer, but not enough to leave their friend completely.

I sighed, and if there was a breath of a sob mixed in, well, no one would know but me.

"Come on...I think it's time I told you."

They were young yet, but if I didn't tell them now, I didn't think I'd ever work up the strength to do it.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"...When I finally managed to get back to Radiant Garden, there was no sign of Terra or Aqua- the only hint of their fate being the lingering chill in that courtyard. I-...I can only assume they were dragged into the Realm of Darkness. I spent the next few months searching for a way to get to them, as well as keeping an eye out for Ventus, but..."

"...You didn't find either," Riku finished sadly.

"No. Eventually, I found myself here, on these islands. When I saw you, I-...I knew that I couldn't leave. It would have been the height of negligence and cruelty to move on- to leave you ignorant of the legacy you bear. I knew Terra well enough to say that he had every intention of coming back for you, but since he can't, I will do my best to train you in his stead."

He was silent for a while, mulling it over. Finally, he nodded.

"Thank you for telling me, Master Ignis."

"What about Kairi?" Sora asked, his head tilted. "If Mister Terra chose Riku, and you chose me, who chose Kairi?"

"That would be Aqua," I told them. "Just like I could feel Terra's claim on Riku, I can feel Aqua's on Kairi."

"...I don't remember," Kairi said.

"Perhaps it's one of the things you've forgotten," I told her gently, even though I knew that even if she had remembered her meeting with Aqua, she still wouldn't have known when she was given the power. "But even if the mind forgets, the heart remembers."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The stars were disappearing.

I looked up at the night sky, unease settling in my stomach as I watched another one blink out of existence. It was the third one this week, and while I now knew that some stars actually were just stars in this universe, I also knew that those weren't what was going out.

Xehanort was on the move again.

I'd been wondering about it for a while- mostly since the finer details of the games had slipped from my memory as the years passed -whether or not his plan had some sort of deadline he needed to meet. It seemed I'd gotten my answer. The question now, however, was how were things going to play out.

I was under no delusions that I hadn't derailed things. I had not only trained Sora, Riku, and Kairi, but I had actively done my best to keep them hidden. My unease mostly stemmed from worry over whether it had been enough. If it hadn't, then odds were that Xehanort was going to be paying a visit to the islands soon.

Just the thought of it made my blood run cold.

Ten years, and it still didn't feel like I'd had enough time. I had known what was going to happen, and I hadn't been able to stop it. It had taken everything Terra, Aqua, Ventus and I had had to fight him, and we'd still lost. This time, I was alone. If he came-...

If he came, I probably wasn't going to make it out alive.

I swallowed, feeling my eyes burn as I continued to stare up at the sky. Years ago, that was all I could have hoped for. Anything to escape the agony brought about by losing everything yet again. Now, however...

"Miss Ignis!"

"Master Ignis!"

"Master!"

I found that...I didn't want to go.

"Master...?"

I sighed, a small, wry smile making its way onto my face at the voice. He would be the one to run into me tonight, wouldn't he?

"You should be asleep, Sora," I scolded, though anyone could tell it was halfhearted at best.

"I can't," he said, settling down next to me.

"You should at least try," I told him. "You've got a big day tomorrow."

His grin was just as bright now as it was when I'd first met him.

"That's exactly why!" he exclaimed, turning his gaze up to the night sky. "We've always heard the stories, but to know that we'll actually get to go out there! To see other worlds! It's amazing!"

I couldn't help the fond smile that slipped onto my face at that. He was so much like them, and yet, the warmth he always seemed to instill was unique to him alone.

I hoped that by nurturing it in him, I'd thrown Xehanort's, and even the mysterious Master of Master's, plans awry.

"But," Sora continued, his much more subdued and hesitant tone instantly drawing my attention, "there's...something I've been meaning to ask."

"What is it?"

"If-...If Riku hadn't been chosen when you first got here...or if Kairi had already been with us and not chosen by Master Aqua...would you have still chosen me?"

I blinked, honestly taken aback at the question. "What?"

He seemed a bit more embarrassed now, but the question still seemed to be weighing him down. "It's just- since you've started teaching us how to sense light and darkness in others, me an' Kairi noticed that Riku's...bright. Like, really bright. Then I noticed later that I couldn't sense any darkness in Kairi, and I just-...I couldn't help but think that-...that I-..."

"That you were chosen only because they were first."

He winced and I felt my heart twist painfully at his small nod.

"Sora, no," I told him, perhaps a bit too vehemently, but maybe that would make him listen more. "No, that's not it at all."

I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and waited until he was looking back at me to continue. "Sora, even if I'd had the option, I still would have chosen you. Precisely because you are you."

"Because...I'm me?"

I smiled. "Maybe Riku's a bit brighter, and maybe Kairi's a bit purer, but you...You want to know what I see when I look at you?"

He hesitated for a moment, probably afraid of what I might say, but nodded in the end.

"I see a warm light. Soft and gentle, like a sunset on the beach. It was that very light that reached out to me ten years ago, and pulled me back from the abyss I could feel myself starting to slip into. Sora, I wasn't kidding when I said your hug was just what I needed. That warmth- your warmth -kept me from ending up just like the others."

He blinked rapidly, his eyes becoming glassy with tears, and I sighed softly before throwing an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close. Even after all I'd done, Sora had still ended up doubting himself and his place as a Keyblade wielder. Still, at least this had happened now, when I could set him straight, as opposed to later, when I...might not be around.

"...Do you really mean that?" he asked quietly.

"I do," I reassured him. "Never doubt yourself, Sora. If you ever find yourself feeling low just remember this:

I chose, and would always choose, you. Not Riku. Not Kairi. You. Because you are kind, and cheerful, and strong- even if you may not believe it at times. You also have something special that they don't: a warm light that welcomes all. A light that shelters and heals. I know, without a doubt, that you will do great things. Amazing things." I smiled down at him, my heart lightening at the small smile on his face as he looked back. "And you trust your master, don't you? So trust in me now."

"...Okay."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Sora watched with growing concern as his master paled. His gaze fell onto the figure behind her, his eyes widening when he realized it was the man in the cloak he'd spoken with just yesterday.

"I must admit to some surprise," the man continued, seemingly unaffected by the storm that raged around them. "I thought I'd gotten rid of all of Eraqus's pupils, yet here you are- with students of your own, no less..."

She stiffened, finally whirling around to face him with a glare. "You will get nowhere near them, Xehanort!"

Suddenly the gravity of the danger was clear, and going by how Riku and Kairi seemed to freeze right next to him, they realized it too.

Xehanort. The man who was responsible for all of the bad things that had happened to Master Ignis and her friends. Because of him, Mister Terra couldn't be here to teach Riku, and Miss Aqua and Ventus were lost somewhere.

It was because of him that his master was so sad and lonely.

Even his laugh was sending chills down his spine. "Is that so? You may have ten more years under your belt, girl, but you're still nowhere close to my level."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

...To be continued?

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this! Maybe I’ll post snippets of my other, as of yet, unpublished SI/OC fics if you all like this well enough. I leave you with a picture of how Ignis looks at the end of these snippets, or rather, at the beginning of the events of KH1:

[caffeinetheory]

Heartfelt [Maribat Monday]

So the original idea wasn’t quite working so have this instead. I might go back to it but have some Raven/Mari instead @maribat-mondays

I wrote way more than I meant to but interspersion hit at like 11:30 last night when I was trying to sleep and I just finished

///

Raven was wary when Robin brought a new hero into their ranks. She is, or was it wasn’t quite clear, the last Ladybug from Paris. She now goes by Marigold, but Mari was fine. She was nice, maybe to nice. Terra made Raven even more hesitant than before, but the rest seemed to trust her. 

Mari was a good fighter, but she was an even better in the kitchen. Almost every morning she was up before even Robin and making something that smelled divine. It took less than a week for the new girl to learn everyone’s favorite and what their usual diet was. She spent extra time to make sure it was perfect for everyone. After awhile Raven and the team got used to breakfast ready for them. Waffles and herbal tea for Raven herself, how Mari always found the perfect blend for how she was feeling that day she wasn’t sure.

~~~

After about a month with Mari now in the tower, the girl was still really reserved but more than happy to have a conversation. Gifts had also started to appear where everyone would find them. It was always something they had mentioned in passing. Robin had gotten a new lock pick set to replace his old one he said was reaching its end, Starfire had somehow gotten some plants from her home, Best Boy and Cyborg had each gotten hew music players and Raven had found a the latest book by one of the authors she followed. No one was quite sure where they came from but they kept coming and they never had strings attached.

~~~

A week after Raven had gotten her book, she had just finished it, she went to the kitchen to get some water before she fell asleep. The light was already on and there was a faint humming, Raven’s guard was now up as she silently made her way into the room. It was Mari of all people up at nearly 2 in the morning. What in the world was she doing. The soft scent of green tea made its way to Raven’s nose, the girl seemed at ease, like she wasn’t holding back and just absorbing information. Raven just left not wanting to disturb the girl.

~~~

Two weeks after the kitchen incident there was a break in at the tower, the first to respond was surprisingly Mari. the others not far behind, Raven watched from the shadows with Robin. Maybe this was a test or something.

“Chaton I swear to Tikki! You can’t just do that,” Mari had a blonde boy in a leather looking catsuit in front of her looking sheepish. “But Mari Bug-” he didn’t even get to finish what he was saying when Mari with no effort dragged him cursing him out in rapid fire french. There was some joy in her tone, everyone else was just left looking at the door in shock. No one but Robin had seen her so assertive and in command of a situation before.

Twenty minutes later laughter was heard and the duo had come back in. “I’m so sorry for this alley cat,” the boy next to her made sound of disagreement, “Someone wanted to see me early.” Mari went about her normal routine while everyone just stared. “You might as well help me kitty, after all because of you I’m behind,” she nudged ‘her kitty’ and the two set to work making breakfast like she always did. 

Everyone eventually got back to their senses, this must have been her former partner. The kid joked easily and got along with Beast Boy pretty well. Mari set her plate next to Raven that morning, she didn’t say much to her but if felt different. The two watched ‘the dorks’ with smiles on their faces before Mari told Robin she’d be gone the rest of the day. She made sure to mention she’d be back for breakfast and “her idiot here won’t cause a problem like that again.”

~~~

The next morning Raven was the first awake out of the original 5. Waffles and fresh tea was waiting for her, but no sign that anyone was in the room. The note under the plate just told her to enjoy, she couldn’t help the small smile on her lips. 

~~~

Mari eventually reappeared later in the day with a ton of bags. Looks like he brought her shopping. “...You need help there?” Robin was the one to ask but Starfire was already by her side read to catch any fallen items. “I’m good thank you though,” no one could see her face but could hear the happiness in her voice. It took 3 more trips for her to bring everything in, she did the food shopping too. How she was able to carry so much they weren’t sure but sometimes you just don’t question it. 

~~~

Raven had left the tower one day to pick up some new books, when she came back there was a box of fresh macaroons, all different shades in the darker cool colors. The box itself was a see through black tied with a bow in the same color of her cloak. A small note in pretty cursive just listed flavors, all herbal teas she enjoyed. 

Breakfast the next morning was all about the different cookies everyone had gotten. It seemed like she got the most. For some reason that gave a smug feeling to Raven but the knowing smile that played on Mari made her heart beat a little faster. Maybe the two should spend some more real time together, some company would be nice.

~~~

It became normal to get some of the sweet treats in her room at least once a week. They always were there when it seemed she needed a pick me up.

~~~

Mari and Raven had started a routine of meditation and reading in the early morning than in the afternoon. Raven had started to help with breakfast despite Mari’s insistence, the shorter girls humming was reward enough. 

~~~

Raven wasn’t sure when she had gotten so used to the other girl's presence. That was until one afternoon and Mari wasn’t with for their normal reading time. Raven couldn’t figure out why it bothered her, nonetheless she went looking for her reading partner. 

Yelling could be heard from the living room, then a crash and a giggle Rave knew anywhere, when did that happen? Mari had just beaten Cyborg and Beast Boy in a fighting game, for what looked like the 100th time. Impressive. She didn’t even look like she had to try, “Don’t feel so bad guys,” the humor in her tone was adorable. 

Raven walked fully into the room now, “Oh, hey Rae,” Mari seemed to light up upon seeing her. Her face seemed to hold recognition and she looked at the clock, “OH no I’m so sorry, I lost track of time-” Rae just sat on the couch and cut her off by grabbing a controller from Beast Boy who was laying on the floor in defeat.

“Oh your on.”

~~~

Raven found a painted rock candy controller and a box of tea with a note on her bed a day later.  

‘We need to play again ;>’

~~~

“Rae, where are we going?” Mari had finally asked after Raven took her hand after breakfast. They had known each other for a while now, and Raven knew she could trust the Parisian. 

“You’ll see” Mari squeezed her hand as they walked the hallway, when they arrived in front of Raven’s door she squeezed it again, “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely”

~~~

The pair spent a lot of time in Raven’s room. Often it was meditation but today was different. It had been a few weeks since raven first brought her in on purpose and they were just relaxing in the purple and black room. 

“Hey, Rae?” the girl in question only made a sound of acknowledgement and continued to run a hand through the other girls hair. She was reading the latest book ‘that mysteriously appeared’. Mari paused what she was going to say, it had been too long since she felt comfortable with someone besides chat, who was basically a brother, this was different. Her head laded in Raven’s as she looked at the girl from under the book. She was stunning.

“I’ll be right back,” Mari slowly got out of the comfortable position she was in and hurried out of the room. Not two minutes later was she back with a sheepish smile. She seemed nervous, odd but Raven shrugged it off. “Sooo, I’m sure it’s obvious now but I’ve been leaving you some gifts here and there,” Rae nodded a smile graced her lips. It made Mari swoon a little, “Well, I wanted to give you this one personally…” she trailed off as she handed a well wrapped package to the girl in front of her.  

“You really didn’t have to-” Raven held the package like it was the most delicate thing she had ever held.“

“But I wanted to,” Mari’s soft encouraging smile was all it too get the Azarathian to gingerly opened it. A midnight purple, almost black, hoodie was in her hands. The embroidery was shiny black and was of countless ravens all over, a slight fade to white near the hands. It was the perfect thing, how long did the intricate patterns take?

Raven was speechless, gently she placed the garment on her bed so nothing would happen and scooped up the small girl. She couldn’t help herself and kissed Mari. Once releasing what she had done Raven pulled back in slight horror. “Oh, come back here Rae,” Mari pulled her kissing back now that she had the chance. It was soft and hesitant at first like neither girl could believe they were doing it but here they were in a room lit up by candles kissing like lost lovers. It felt right and that’s what matters. 

When they finally broke apart, it was slow. They looked into the other’s eyes, looking for something, regret maybe. But they didn’t find that, their hands had found their way to each other’s waist when they stayed until a knock on the door interrupted before they leaned in again. It was Robin, when the girls opened the door hands still together he held a knowing smirk and started telling them about what was happening. It was time to do their job, hand in hand.

///

I hope you all like it and it is longer than normal I know :> it’s time to work on my other stuff so I don’t get behind Timari week is next and I still need to finish the chapter for this week, sorry for the wait

[tealin]

The Story of the Discovery Hut

You may have noticed that last week I breezily mentioned a visit to Scott's Discovery Hut as though it were just another class on the schedule. It most definitely was not! Wandering around one of the principal locations of the Terra Nova Expedition – of the whole of Heroic Age Antarctic history – was the pinnacle of the sensory overload of my first 36 hours on the continent, not least because the grubby old Discovery Hut is one of the least well documented sites, so most of it was completely new to me. To visit the other locations on my itinerary, I needed one or another sets of training, but Hut Point is only a short walk from McMurdo Station on solid ground, so my coordinator was keen to get me there as soon as possible.

My first full day in Antarctica was the coldest of the whole trip. I noted in my journal that it was -4°F/-20°C – I don't recall if that was with wind chill or without, but it was definitely windy that day, so you can imagine. The previous day's flurries were still blowing around, so the atmosphere was properly polar, and for the first time I was glad I had brought the heavy-duty boots that had been such a boulder in my luggage.

The Discovery Hut is named such because it was built on the Discovery Expedition, in early 1902 when the ship had found its permanent berth in the small bay at the end of the southernmost peninsula of Ross Island. The bay was imaginatively dubbed Winter Quarters Bay, and the spit of land adjacent to it was called Hut Point, the creativity of which was extended to the whole Hut Point Peninsula. The hut itself had been picked up in Australia, where it was a flat-pack prefab intended to be transported to the Outback and used to house cattlemen as they drove herds across the country. As such, it was designed to shed heat – not an ideal feature in an Antarctic dwelling, but it was never intended to be lived in, rather to serve as a warehouse and emergency shelter should anything happen to the ship. Subsequent expeditions used it more than the Discovery did, because of its proximity to the permanent ice of the Barrier, which made it a key staging point for any southward travel. They all complained of it being uncomfortably cold inside.

And it was cold. Not that I noticed much, beyond corroborating historical reports that it somehow seemed colder inside the hut than outside. Antarctic cold is a funny thing: You are certainly aware that it is cold, but it is a surface sensation only, and doesn't feel as severe as the thermometer says it is. Skin exposed to the air registers the fact it is cold, but even at -20 it didn't go any deeper than that. Compared to the seeping, insidious cold of a damp British morning or an air-conditioned animation studio cubicle, which disregards layers and seems to chill you from the inside out, -20 in Antarctica is really quite comfortable, if you're dressed properly and sheltered from the wind. I barely noticed how cold it was until the tips of my gloved fingers started tingling, which I observed with some perplexity until I remembered the temperature. At that moment I understood how one could get frostbite without noticing, because one's outermost extremities could suffer while one's internal thermostat was still reading as perfectly warm, if not hot. Hence the practice of deliberate, conscious reminders every few minutes to observe the state of one's feet – they would be all too easy to overlook, otherwise.

Lithium ion batteries don't much like the cold, and unlike human bodies they neither generate their own heat nor have a core heat bank to rely on. I got a few photos that first visit, but my phone died as I was taking a video, so I decided to leave the image harvest to another day. The photos in this post are mostly from later (warmer) visits, when electronics were functioning fully and I'd got over the initial awe of being there.

But before I can give you a photographic tour of the Discovery Hut, I need to fill you in on the history, so that you know what you're looking at when you see it, as I did.

As I said before, the hut was built during the Discovery Expedition but hardly used except for storage and, occasionally, a theatre. The next expedition in town was Shackleton's Nimrod Expedition, which arrived in early 1908. The sea ice that year was much more extensive than it had been in 1902, and the furthest south that the Nimrod could anchor was at Cape Royds, twenty miles north of Hut Point. Shackleton had been on the Discovery, though, and knew there were a lot of good things left in the little square hut across the ice, so he sent a raiding party to scavenge some of them and bring them back to Cape Royds. When they arrived, they couldn't get the door open, so they broke a window to get in, which was never repaired. After it had served its purpose as launching point for southern journeys and the Nimrod left McMurdo Sound, the hut filled up with drifted snow which compacted into ice.

When Scott arrived in the Terra Nova – which was also barred from Hut Point by sea ice and so had settled at Cape Evans, fifteen miles north – he found the broken window and the interior of the hut one solid block of ice. This did not do much to improve his opinion of Shackleton. The depot-laying party pushed on south with their supplies, but Atkinson, who had got an infected blister on his heel and couldn't continue marching, was left at Hut Point with Tom Crean; while the depot party was away, they employed themselves in clearing the ice from the hut. Once that was done, they used biscuit cases and the discarded winter awning from the Discovery to build a smaller chamber within the single room, which would hold the heat better, and improvised a blubber stove from discarded bricks and metal in the Discovery's rubbish heap. There are lots of seals around Hut Point so blubber was a self-supplying fuel, as opposed to the very limited quantity of coal which had been brought down by the ship.

The only way to reach Cape Evans from Hut Point is over the sea ice, and by the time the depot party returned, that had all broken up and gone out to sea. (I am glossing over The Sea Ice Incident. Check it out if you want some crazy adventure.) There was nothing for it but to wait at Hut Point for the sea ice to freeze again, which took from the beginning of March to mid-May. This was, as yet, the longest period of occupation for the hut, and was full of tinkering to make the place more liveable. Everyone devised what they thought was the best model of blubber lamp: whatever the design, it smoked with a thick black soot which added to the smoke from the blubber stove. As a result the hut was often thick with smoke and everyone looked like chimney sweeps before long. Crean and Atkinson had done a massive job clearing out the block of ice in the main room, but there was still ice in the cavity between the ceiling and the roof which they could not access, and this dripped on the assembled crowd every time they got the hut above freezing, turning their reindeer skin sleeping bags into a soggy mess. Despite the soot, the 'snipe marsh,' and a diet limited to recombinations of biscuit, seal meat, and the odds and ends left over from previous expeditions, the men all had a roaring good time. Some of them even claimed, when all was said and done, that this was the best part of the expedition.

Just enough to eat and keep us warm, no more – no frills nor trimmings: there is many a worse and more elaborate life. The necessaries of civilization were luxuries to us: … the luxuries of civilization satisfy only those wants which they themselves create.

— Apsley Cherry-Garrard, The Worst Journey in the World

The hut served its purpose again the following November as the jumping-off place for the great effort to reach the Pole. This is its classic role, and what it is best remembered for, when it is remembered at all, but something which I think gets lost and which adds a great deal to the emotional understanding of the place is that it's also the first taste of home for returning parties, the first solid walls after months of living in a tent. For both the First and Second Returning Parties it was a concrete assurance that they had made it, they were back to safety; it was only the matter of a day's walk to Cape Evans from there, which they did all the time. Like reaching one's own freeway exit after a long road trip, the Discovery Hut would be a welcome return to the familiar. It's the first comfort the Polar Party would have been pulling towards in their struggle to get home before the weather broke up for the winter.

But, as we know, they never got there. The next role of the Discovery Hut, and its most poignant, to me, is as the staging point for another southward journey, the one to meet the Polar Party with the dog teams. Atkinson had taken the dogs there after using them to help unload the ship at Cape Evans, but before he could leave he was co-opted to save the life of Teddy Evans , leader of the Second Returning Party, who was dying of scurvy not far away. Atkinson had to find a substitute, so he sent a message to Cape Evans requesting Wright, and if he was unavailable, Cherry-Garrard. Simpson, who was in charge back at Cape Evans, sent both to Hut Point, with the advice that Wright was needed for his particular scientific expertise and that it would be very inconvenient to lose him. So Wright was sent home, and Cherry was chosen to go south. He failed to meet the Polar Party; he and the dogs turned up back at the Discovery Hut exhausted, frostbitten, and unable to do any more work that season. Cherry spent a miserable purgatory in the hut with a strained heart and broken wrist, delirious on painkillers and tormented by the howling wind and fighting dogs, gradually coming to realise that his friends were never coming home.

When the Terra Nova finally left Antarctica for good, they left a large depot of food at Hut Point for whoever might come after, an act of generosity whose prescience was not long in the proving. Shackleton's Endurance Expedition is famous for the ship getting crushed in the ice and the last-chance boat voyage to South Georgia to find rescue. Fewer people know that that expedition had another half: a smaller contingent of men were sent to the Ross Sea to lay depots for the Endurance party to pick up as they crossed the Antarctic continent, which was the expedition’s original raison d’etre. They had what can only be described as a mindblowingly horrible time. It started with their ship being blown off its anchor at Cape Evans and out to sea before it had been fully unloaded, and got much worse from there. Winter clothing had to be improvised from a heavy canvas tent left by the Terra Nova Expedition, and they depended largely on the food that had been left at Cape Evans and Hut Point two years previously. By supreme effort they succeeded in laying the depots required of them, all the way to the Beardmore Glacier over 400mi/600km to the south, and suffered terribly from scurvy on the way back, one of them dying. The remainder narrowly scraped their way into the safety of the Discovery Hut, to recover their health and wait for the sea ice to freeze, but two decided prematurely that the greater comfort of Cape Evans was worth the risk, and set out over the new ice, never to be seen again. It turned out that their suffering was entirely in vain, as the Endurance party, whose survival they expected to depend on their depots, never so much as set foot on the Antarctic continent.

These are the layers of history with which the Discovery Hut, and all the geography of McMurdo Sound, are imbued. It was one of my great privileges, while a guest of the USAP, to be a portal to the Heroic Age for many people who were mostly unaware of what had passed before the building of the American station. It's harder to transmit the tangible immediacy of the history via the internet, but I hope this and the next post will get you some of the way there.

[paopuatsunset]

After the Battle

Kingdom Hearts Fic – Rated: E for Everybody feels Angsty Sometimes – Words:  1,471 (One-Shot) AO3

He’d spent so much time yearning, wanting something that was always out of reach, that everything felt…empty now, cold even. In the moment, sitting with Isa, Xion, and Roxas on the clocktower, the ice cream cold on their tongues and their hearts warmed by friendship, everything seemed perfect, airy, carefree.

But that was as shortlived as the day, and just as the sun set, casting their faces in dusky undertones, the heat of joy cooled. Xion and Roxas said their goodbyes just as the sky burned a fiery red, heading to…where were they going? when had they decided to go without him? ...The Winner sticks they’d so often given Lea still clutched in hand as they departed. At the sight, there came a flicker of deep fear, one Lea knew all too well.

When Isa, too, rose and left just as night fell, a murmured: “Don’t stay up here too long” his parting words, the remaining warmth finally fizzled away. Looking to the stars, Lea recognized this feeling, the coolness of rejection, found it almost anticipated, familiar, in its grief. He'd seen the backs of those he loved more times than he cared to mention, during his time in Organization XIII it'd almost become a ritual. Had his guard really been brought down so easily, coaxed into momentary calm by a sunset and a salty treat, that he'd forgotten to guard himself, forgotten to expect that the pieces of his heart, once again, had left, parting to live their own lives, with their own ambitions…

How many times had he waited for others to return to him, fought so hard to pull them back? He should know by now, that that something, the precious and fragile thing he’d protected for so long, would always end up crumbling with what always seemed to feel like a newfound realization: They’d moved on.  

They always did.

It didn’t take long for Lea to rise and leave. He walked the streets of Twilight Town without direction, the echoings of “Axel,” a name that would never truly leave him, almost as loud as his footsteps. Ideas and realities that never seemed important until now, now as he once again tread into a future ripe with uncertainties, were pressing in. All that he’d fought for, lived for, seemed to have just…gone on living without him.

Once again, by some strange twist of fate, Lea felt heartless.

He traversed his way through the forest on the outskirts of town, knowing where his feet were taking him and dreading it all the same. But he didn’t stop, didn’t stall as the gates to the Old Mansion loomed before him. A flash of Vexen came to mind. Then, the determination in Xion’s eyes, next, a painful memory of how the flames felt rising from his hands, powerful and dangerous, as he aimed to harm, to maim, someone he knew was a best friend.

He’d killed here.

Fought Roxas, Xion, here.

Almost died here.

A golden cast of light shone from the Old Mansion, and Lea lingered by the gates, looking to the grime-covered windows, illuminated from within, with a grimace.

“You should have told me you were going to leave the clocktower.”

Lea turned to the voice, the eagerness, the surprise, reflecting in his wide, green eyes. Isa looked on, calm and poised as ever.

“Had I known you'd be here I would have said we should just come together,” Isa retrieved his Gummi phone, typed a message quickly before looking back to Lea. “But I suppose you didn’t know about our home.”

“Home?” The World That Never Was now lay scattered, a husk of a once sparkling star in the sky. “What’s home?”

Isa looked to the decrypt building before them, to the overgrown hedges and crumbling statues, and realization rose within Lea.

“You want to live in the Old Mansion?”

There was a recognizable pain in Isa’s eyes as he glanced away, looking to the dusty windows and crumbling architecture.

“Where else can we go? Radiant Garden? What’s left there but painful memories?”

The inclusion of “we,” a word that flowed so easily from Isa, was like a whispered promise, one that was momentarily distracted Lea from what Isa had said. As it all came rushing to him,  Lea paused, recognizing words, wounds, that might as well be his own. The two men had always been mirror images of one another, their jealousies, pains, fiery and icy dispositions reflecting back at one another. Clearing his throat, Lea spoke the words he needed to hear, the advice he so craved, and found they felt sweeter as he spoke to Isa, felt kinder as he leaned forward and looked to his friend.

“There’s memories everywhere Isa. It’s all about making new ones.”

The azure-haired man looked to him. It’s all about making new ones. There was safety in his small, but inviting, smile, a gentleness in his gaze as he looked back to the Old Mansion.

They entered the building together, their momentary ease plummeting as they looked to the sheer horror that was the crumbling infrastructure. It would take a lot of work to rehab the mansion, days of aching muscles and weeks of sweat and overexertion. They didn’t speak as they looked to the spider webs and rotting wood, their silence saying all they needed to know.  

There came the creak of the door, the chimings of laughter, and both Isa and Lea turned. Their younger companions were chipper as the journeyed towards them, Roxas’ arms filled with rags and cleaning solutions, Xion’s tucked comfortably behind her back. The earlier pain in Lea’s heart, what he was sure had been its breaking, mellowed at the sight, and he sighed.

“Took you guys long enough.”

He hadn’t expected their reunion to come so naturally. Was relieved that his connection to these people, his friends, his family, wasn’t as easily broken as he'd feared.

“As if,” Roxas quipped. “You didn’t even know we were going to be here.”

The shared laughter felt good, like the embers of a fire sparking again. Xion moved forward, smiling up at Lea.

“We were all having such a good time on the Clocktower, we forgot to…well,” She gently pulled the gift from behind her back. “It’s a present, a thank you for never giving up on us.”

A charm. Crudely made but made for him all the same. A Wayfinder charm, akin to the kind Lea had seen in the hands of Aqua, Terra, and Ventus.  Unlike there’s, his was crafted out of ice cream sticks, the Winner text familiar, nostalgic, ripe with painful memories.

Yet, as he looked to it, he’d never felt more like a Winner.

Lea couldn’t tear his eyes away from the small, stick-crafted star even as Xion began to sweep, even as Roxas began dusting the railing and Isa took position at the windows. Lea stood on, fighting against the burning in his eyes.

“Thank you.” He finally choked, his voice dashing passed prior unvocalized worries.

Xion's answered joke came easily: “Don’t burn it, that’s one of a kind.” It echoed through the mansion and they all paused, looking to their new home with momentary awe.

“Speaking of burning, you’ll have to clean all that ash from the basement Lea, if that’s alright,” Roxas didn’t look from his work as he spoke, only paused when his voice began to waver. “I just…can’t stand that room.”

It clicked, as Lea looked to the young blond, and he felt a flashing of guilt. They were all carrying some kind of pain, worries and fears that lay barely out of sight but were always watching, waiting. They were all here together, working on repairing a home they wanted, needed, with their pain an additional weight as they labored through rehabilitation. Lea looked to the trio before him and smiled as he felt a familiar blaze of ambition begin to rise within himself.

This would be their home, their phoenix from the ashes after a battle that’d left them worn, tired, together. He knew there'd be days when he'd awaken, a small voice in himself convinced that once again, he'd been abandoned. But Lea was also certain there'd be days when the orange-light of a lazy afternoon would stir paranoia in Roxas, would birth flashes of fear in Xion. And when night fell, Lea knew Isa would always look to the moon, would feel desperately lonely even if he were surrounded in a room of confidants.

They were all hurting.

But they'd won the battle, the first hurdle to the rest of their lives, and they’d journey into the light of a new dawn with wounds mending and smiles growing, the pained memories of the past fading with each sunset.

[kc-meets-dc]

Okay, folks, you all knew this was coming...

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

SO GOOD!!! OH, MY GOD!!! THAT WAS SO GOOD!!!

*deep breath* Okay. Now that that’s out of my system, time for the usual recap. Also, since this post is extremely long, you may skip down to the very bottom to find a tl;dr version of my predictions for season four based on what we saw here.

These last three episodes were AMAZING!!! And boy did they keep me on my toes! Even though it wasn’t the first of the three, I’d like to start this recap with episode 25, aka Goddammit, Will You Stop Horsing Around, Grandon, And Finally Freaking Confirm Or Deny Whether Or Not My Son Is Dead?????

I’ll admit I have lost a little (A veeeeeery little) amount of hope that Wally’s still alive somewhere. Thank God for that ending, though! There is still hope. But also, did anyone else pick up on the serious gay vibe Zatanna was giving off in the last two episodes? I know a lot of people are going to say her “Artemis, you know I love you” line was out of friendship. But, then again, this is Tumblr. When it comes to people being in lesbians with each other, we all kinda hope for the best here. And I have spent many an hour, a day, a week, a month, 525,600 minutes (You get the point) of my life analyzing whether or not people have romantic intentions or attractions in TV shows and movies. And, folks, I can say without a doubt that that “I love you” really meant “I love you.” And combine that with the fact that Artemis seems to finally have closure over Wally...

I think Snaibsel has a real shot at becoming canon next season. It’s either that or Zatanna is really Rocket’s significant other who we still know NOTHING about. Seriously, why is that? Why can’t we get a serious confirm or deny out of Grandon about even something this small? I highly doubt answering the question of whether or not Rocket is married to a woman would really “spoil” anything. In fact, it would probably get MORE people to watch the show because of the representation. So, yeah. We may be able to add two, possibly three depending on how Artemis feels, people to the LGBT characters list in Young Justice. On another note, I like to think that Will has also finally moved on. While he may not be in love with Artemis (Thank God!!!), I believe that him blowing out the candle in that final scene means that he has finally moved on from Cheshire, given that the first candle going out seemed to symbolize Artemis moving on from Wally, and now Will will finally start looking for someone else.

Then there’s episode 24, which all I can say about is TAKE THAT, GRANNY, YOU OLD BAG!!! Oh, and the same goes to Lex Luthor in episode 26, btw. Also, yeah, I guarantee you that Bart and Ed are a couple. Int he X-Pit, Ed’s first instinct wasn’t to save Jaime who was clearly suffering the most. It was to save Bart! Add that to the animation sequence that I can only assume was supposed to be a cheek kiss that was edited out because the crew severely underestimated Tumblr’s ability to see and analyze everything that ever happens in a show even when it happens at superspeed and thought they wouldn’t need to waste extra animation money on adding it in *inhales after such a long spiel* plus the fact that he was so concerned over Bart’s safety in Elder Wisdom, and you’ve got yourselves one can of 100% certified canon Goldpulse (Or Zetaflash or Bartuardo. Seriously, when are we all going to agree on one single ship name for those two? Which should definitely be #goldpulse, btw).

Also, go Vic for finally accepting who he is! He even went back to school and befriended Cisco, who I guarantee we’ll be seeing next season as Vibe! Honestly, my only real complaint about that episode is that the rest of The Outsiders didn’t get too much screentime in that or any of the other episodes released today besides Cyborg and Beast Boy. Same goes to Batman Inc, which I’m hoping we’ll be seeing more of next season. i.e. the totally mishandled and underused Cass Cain, Stephanie Brown, Cissie King-Jones, and, for the second season in a row, (Goddammit, Grandon!) Tim Drake.

Actually, I’m kinda betting that the so-called “core group of characters” that next season is supposed to be centered around will actually consist of the ORIGINAL Young Justice characters from the comics. Namely, Superboy, Impulse (I know he’s named Kid Flash now, but you get it), Tim Drake’s Robin, Wonder Girl, and maaaaaaaaybe Arrowette. Still not really sure if she’ll be featured more, or if they’ll switch her out for Spoiler to add some relationship drama to Cassie and Tim who I guess are still a couple??? But yeah, I think that might be the direction the next season is going.

Finally, that brings us to episode 26, and I have four words for you that perfectly describe my feelings about it: LONG LIVE THE LEGION!!! Legion of Superheroes was one of my absolute favorite shows growing up, so I am SO HYPED that they’re doing them next season! My guess is that the story will be that The Outsiders were the precursors to the 31st century’s Legion of Superheroes. i.e. a public team of meta teens who fight for good and people like them. I wonder which Legion characters they’ll include. Most likely it’ll be Brainiac 5, Saturn Girl, and Lightning Lad for sure, but then they’ll probably also throw in Cosmic Boy and maybe a few others. I need to do some digging on which Legionnaires were most important in the comics. Plus, with the Legion here now, we’ll probably also get Supergirl since she plays a big role in their story, and she could also play a big role in The Light’s plans to serve as another, better Superman copy that they can use to destroy The Team,  The Outsiders, and the League.

Then you’ve got Fred Bugg openly revealing who he is to his classmates, which is AMAZING! And we’ve finally gotten a good twist on the Judas Contract storyline! Assuming she isn’t dead by the time it happens, I really hope we’ll be able to see more of Terra acting as a hero in season four! And I’m really excited to see what Brion will be like as a villain!

Which finally brings us to predictions. What will happen next in Young Justice? My guess is that the next season will be focused on the Legion of Superheroes coming to present day to fulfill a mission similar to Bart’s original mission in season two, but on a much larger scale. I’m guessing that they’re trying to prevent Vandal Savage, The Light, and/or Darkseid from taking over the galaxy in a way that could potentially alter time to change the future the Legion knows and comes from.

Secondly, I’m guessing that the next time jump will not be nearly as long as I originally anticipated. Actually, I’m guessing that there will be NO TIME JUMP AT ALL. Since the season didn’t end on the 4th of July or New Year’s, my guess is that the writers are throwing out the original formula for how they structure each season, meaning there’s a good chance this coming season will pick up right where season three left off.

Also most likely coming next season, we’ll have the Jason Todd storyline to deal with, we’ll have Artemis trying to discover new love (Possibly with Zatanna, or the other most likely option would be Icicle Jr since the two of them were actually married in the comics), and with the addition of characters from the 31st century to the series, we just might be seeing the Reverse Flash and Inertia, which could introduce us to the concept of the Speed Force, which will in turn finally lead to bringing Wally back from the dead. However, if Wally isn’t brought back by the end of next season, there’s pretty much a 100% chance we’ll never be getting him back at all.

So, to sum up my thoughts and theories: new characters we should be seeing next season include the Legion of Superheroes, Supergirl, and Reverse Flash, the season’s main focused characters will most likely be the original Young Justice team from the comics, and if we don’t get Wally back next season we won’t get him back at all. That’s all for now, folks. As always, stay whelmed, feel the aster, and have a very crash rest of your day!

[xxxmasterkali]

Kingdom Sims Pt. 10

Mature for slightly sexual content.

Months had passed, it was now end of Spring, beginning of Summer. Prom was starting to approach and Sora had come up with the perfect way to ask Kairi. Though, it was obvious they were going together, but being the chivalrous Sora he was, he still wanted to officially ask her. He planned a beautiful day at the beach, just the two of them.

Kairi: This is so perfect, Sora! I’ve missed the beach!

Sora: Yeah, me too. Feels like home. 

Sora stood up and reached his hand out to Kairi.

Sora: Wanna swim like old times?

Sora and Kairi splashed and played in the ocean, just like they used to.

Sora: Hey, Kairi, wanna see a trick Ariel taught me?

Kairi: Sure.

Sora cupped his hand around his mouth and started squeaking like a dolphin. Suddenly a dolphin came swimming up to them.

Kairi: Oh my gosh Sora! That was amazing!

The dolphin started squeaking to Sora.

Kairi: Is he talking to you? 

Sora: Yeah, he said he has a question for you.

Kairi: What’s the question?

Sora: He wants to know if you’d want to go to prom with me?

Sora had his usual cheesy grin on his face and Kairi internally squealed. She swam to the dolphin and whispered to him.

Sora: What did you tell him?

Kairi: My answer.

Sora: What’s your answer?

Kairi: It’s yes, silly!

After playing with the dolphin for a little while, Sora and Kairi swam back to shore to watch the ocean and the sky. Kairi turned to Sora and started kissing him, passionately.

Sora moved his hands down to her butt and squeezed it. Kairi returned the favor by moving her hand down, over Sora’s swim trunks. 

Sora: Oh my god, Kairi...she keeps doing this to me. The want-no the NEED is becoming incredibly stronger. I don’t know how much more I can take.

Kairi pulled away, knowing full well what she had done to him.

Kairi: Maybe we should stop.

Sora: Uhh..yeah.

The pair decided to explore island more and found a waterfall.

Kairi: This is so beautiful!

She began playing and splashing in the water and Sora started splashing around with her.

Everything was perfect for these two. It felt like nothing could take away their happiness.

Unfortunately, things were different back at home. Obviously some members of the household didn’t make the people in the gang so happy. They remembered their house, their faces and found out their names so a group from the gang came to their house and tried to fight with the guardians. One woman tried to mess with Aqua and Xion, but they both showed her who was boss.

Namine on the other hand was knocked out cold. Roxas immediately started fighting with the male gang member.

Roxas had won the fight.

Roxas: I don’t ever want to see you put your hands on a woman again, especially her!

Namine started to come to and Roxas grabbed her hand and pulled her into a hug.

Roxas: I’m sorry I didn’t stop him in time.

Namine: It’s okay, Roxas. I’m okay thanks to you. I owe you.

Roxas: No you don’t, I’m always going to be there for you.

Namine: How about you take me to prom?

Roxas: Deal!

Aqua and Xion approached Namine and Roxas.

Aqua: They will be back. They don’t seem like the type of people who give up to easily. They purposefully came here for us. 

Roxas: What did we ever do!?

Xion: It’s because of the few instances we’ve had with them, we didn’t back down. Ven and Axel fought with them and then Sora and Riku kicked them out of the house. They’re trying to make a statement with us and scare everyone. If we can’t handle them, then how can anyone else?

Roxas: So we’ll just have to keep fighting them off until they give up. They’re not going to beat us.

About a week went by and it was finally prom day!

Kairi and Namine were showing their boys how risque they could be.

Roxas: I never knew Namine could be like this...I wish I could just have her now...

Terra and Aqua were not shy on the dance floor either. It was clear they had reached that level in their relationship.

The music began to slow down and Sora took Kairi in his arms. He didn’t even need to say anything, she just knew.

Xion: Riku, I know we talked about just coming as friends, but do you wanna dance with me?

Riku: Oh...uhh..sure.

Riku wrapped his arms around Xion and even though, he played it off like we calm, on the inside he was anxious. He didn’t think he thought of Xion that way, but lately they had spent a lot time together and he was getting to know her as a person.

Namine: Roxas, I’m having so much fun. This is probably one of the best nights of my entire existence so far and its all thanks to you.

Roxas: Anything to make you smile, Namine.

Aqua: I’m so glad we finally get to live in peace again. I’m thankful for that everyday. We’ve all been through so much.

Terra: Yeah, me too. You know, you and Ven are the reasons I kept fighting back when Xehanort took ahold of me. 

Aqua: I do know that. I’m glad I could help in some way.

Terra: You helped me more than you could know.

Aqua: I missed you so much when I was trapped in the realm of darkness. I was afraid I’d never see you guys again.

Terra: I know the feeling. I love you, Aqua.

Aqua: I love you too, Terra.

Xion: You’re a very good dancer, Riku.

Riku: I don’t know about that. I never really danced much before. Dancing is more of Sora’s area.

Xion: Well, it looks like you learned a few tricks from your friend.

Sora: You know, I never thought we’d get a prom. I remember when we were 14, I hoped I had the courage to ask you by the time ours would have rolled around.

Kairi: I would’ve said yes then too.

Sora: Then?

Kairi: Sora, you didn’t notice? I loved you since before our first adventure. I didn’t know exactly what love was but I knew I would’ve chosen you, no matter what.

Sora: Honestly, I thought you would’ve chosen Riku.

Kairi: Don’t be silly. Riku is like a big brother to me. But me and you, we’ve always had something special. I knew I could always count on you for anything.

Sora: Of course you can.

The night ended happily for everyone.

[mimiplaysgames]

Terra Week Day 1 (Heart/Vacation)

Summary: Aqua needs to find her Keyblade, and Terra realizes he’s the only locked door left. He’s going to have to do something crazy to reunite them. After all, what’s the point of becoming a Master when all these loose ends need their closure? | Word Count: 1,909

Read on AO3

A/N: For Terra Week 2021! You can find that account on Twitter!

~*~*~*~*~

The Tenets of a Master, Ch. 1

For the Bearer to wield the Key, his mind shall not ache His will shall not yield, his Heart shall not break

Terra doesn’t understand why he’s re-reading this book. He knows why (a Yen-Sid-tasked-him-with-it type of why), but he’s already done his time. He’s already written essays and debated about it in classes long ago. He already spent a night in the Master’s office asking for something more useful. Aqua does not recommend it. Ven hates it.

And of course, Yen Sid is the one who assigned it for Terra’s second Mark of Mastery. A most vital book, he had said to Terra. How full of it.

Affairs of the Heart by the Master of Masters in its peeling leather glory, the dumbest book Terra has ever read (though Eraqus would have found offense to that). It’s muddled with archaic language, vague descriptions, and random limericks. It answers questions with questions, and couples answers with contradictions.The tiny nuggets of gold Terra could mine from it are hidden in four-hundred pages of grime. 

A complete waste of time, but if Yen Sid tasked Terra with it, then he has reservations about the strength of Terra’s heart. And Terra isn’t sure if he disagrees.

Terra can’t help but think about The Adventures of Robin Hood when he’s supposed to be studying. The story of a fox and his bear sidekick out to humiliate a maneless lion. Their goal: return stolen money, bring light into homes that have been dark, and destroy the shackles that unjustly imprisoned the common folk. Robin Hood is always smart enough to avoid getting caught. 

That, right there, is a hero. But when Terra suggested it as a book to study for Keyblade Master many years ago, the Master refused.

Perhaps Yen Sid will be more open-minded.

If he recalls correctly, Robin Hood sits on the same shelf, on the top floor. He enters the library on the third level, the foyer opening up to a U-shaped, five-story gala with forest green carpeting and windows that stretch to the ceiling. Aqua wanders through the bottom floor, carrying a conversation with herself.

She has her hand to her face—oh, she’s using her Gummiphone. Terra always forgets. He keeps his off, only carrying it in his pocket because she nags him to. That anyone can reach him in the blink of a thought sounds invasive. 

Scuffling downstairs, he overhears her saying, “I appreciate it. Thank you,” before hanging up.

“Who was that?”

“Ienzo.” She double checks her phone to make sure she’s back at the menu and has, in fact, hung up. Gummiphones are not the easiest to use and Aqua has kept someone on the other line before only because she didn’t understand the use of the red button. Terra shrugs. She continues, “One of the scientists at Radiant Garden.”

Terra still can’t put a face to the name but the mention of scientist and Radiant Garden turns his stomach. It all means the same: people who’ve studied, worked under, and followed Xehanort. It’s not their fault, just like Aqua keeps telling him that it’s not his fault either, but how is Terra supposed to look at anyone who’s known his face for years without ever hearing his voice? 

“What’s going on?”

Aqua is the kind of person who doesn’t mind looking anyone in the eye. When she is warm, it comes naturally. When she’s threatened, she wills it. She glances at the carpet for a moment. This is going to be another string of conversations he and Aqua will dance around. “I’m trying to find my Keyblade.” 

“Oh.” Terra stares at his shoes. Affairs of the Heart sits under his arm, useless. “Are they any help?”

“They’ll try.” She smirks through her frustration. “No one knows where it is, if they remember it at all.” Hugging herself, Aqua shakes her head, her attempt at keeping her eyes dry. “I just want to lay the Master to rest. I want Rainfell back.”

“I know,” he says softly. Every time they spar, it becomes a spectacle when she summons the Defender, a Keyblade twice as long as Rainfell. She’s honestly more intimidating with it, but it’s like looking at a doctored image. The Master’s Keyblade, still alive. They’ve spoken about what to do with it: take it up the mountain so he can watch over them, or leave it outside the castle so he’s always near, or display it in the entrance hall above the thrones so he can be proud. Terra would like it on the terrace. There’s always a beautiful sunset there, even when it storms. 

But without the Defender, Aqua is left weaponless. Terra’s been requested not to ask about it, and he wants to honor that. He wants to, but he doesn’t want to dance anymore. “Where did you last see it?”

She sighs. “If I don’t answer that, would you feel I was punishing you?”

“Most definitely.” Smile.

It unnerves her. Aqua says a lot more with facial expressions alone. This one tells him, I wish you weren’t so difficult. “I last saw it with you.” Realizing what she said, she jerks. “Well, not you.”

“Is that how we’re going to call it?” Terra pulls his lips to his ears. “You, but not you.”

“You don’t have to put on a brave face for me, Terra.”

“I’m not. Laughing about it just feels better.”

She grimaces. “I don’t think it’s funny.”

“I don’t either, but what else am I going to do?” Terra drops the book on a nearby table. “What’s the plan?”

“Well...” She wraps herself tighter. “I don’t know what I can do other than trace Xehanort’s steps. Ienzo mentioned several journals that he left behind.” 

Terra swallows a lump in his throat, his fist balling into itself like a feral in defense.

“Aqua—”

“Don’t worry, it won’t be so bad.”

“Stars,” he curses.

“It will be fine.” Her arms are still crossed, and she lilts ‘fine’ to be an endnote, closing the conversation. Stepping by his side, she eyes the book and frowns. “I’ll talk to Yen Sid. I hardly think it’s necessary for you to reread that.” 

While Terra appreciates her vote of confidence, she’s dodging. “Isn’t there anything else we can do?”

“I already think you’ve proven yourself—”

“Not that. With Rainfell.” And no, he hasn’t proven anything. Yen Sid clearly doesn’t think so, either. “I can help.”

“I’ll have to be brave, that’s all.” She offers a weak smile. “And if it gets bad… I like to think that the Master is with me. It’s nice.”

Sure, it’s nice, relative to other things. Relative to being imprisoned in Darkness and fighting not to fade away, it is nice. While your body is doing things without you, it is nice. When you’re trapped in hell all alone, it is nice. But it’s still a foreign Keyblade—not exactly comparable to a hug they’ll never feel again, nor does it speak for their own hearts. A part of Aqua is missing, out there, alone. She’d feel that, too.

“Anyway,” Aqua says (another endnote), hands cupping her elbows, “I think there are better ways to host your Mark of Mastery. Let me talk to Yen Sid. You deserve better.”

There’s something sick and twisted about Aqua following Xehanort’s history, a guttural laugh at your most humiliating memory. Worse if she’s going to read all the horrifying details of how he conducted his experiments. She’s the one who deserves better. She (always) deserves better.

Aqua is being Aqua when she prefers to look at a future when she has her Keyblade and he passes his Mark. Simply. A much-needed distraction for her but as Terra looks down at the cover of Affairs of the Heart, the title worn down so that the leather imprint bleeds out the letters, Terra realizes he simply doesn’t care right now. 

May your heart be your guiding key is a phrase they all grew up with, but the heart is fickle. A growing part of his knows one thing: he has to do something about this. 

His heart wouldn’t rest if he doesn’t try—it already barely takes a breath, what with remembering everything that’s happened twelve years ago. Aqua never pins it on him. Never, even when he asks if she blames him. What’s the point of accepting the title of Master if the honor of having it is empty? 

Terra enters the kitchen to no one else but Ven, who has his feet propped up on the dining table next to a half-eaten piece of strawberry cake with a Gummiphone in his hands. 

“Have you gotten Kairi’s message?” Ven asks. 

“What message?”

Ven sighs exasperatedly. “What is it with you and Aqua never reading texts? You guys act like old people.” He waves his phone. “Kairi. She invited us to hang out at Destiny Islands with everyone else. It’d be cool to have fun. Like a vacation. Ever heard of that?”

“Everyone else?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s nice of her.”

Ven slaps his forehead and drags it down his face. “What’s gotten into you?”

“I’m thinking,” Terra says while he pulls a pitcher of water out of the fridge, “of helping Aqua find her Keyblade.”

It’s an obvious statement—Ven of course would want to help, too—but there’s something Ven hears that Terra isn’t saying. He’s smarter than people give him credit for. “What are you talking about?”

“Rainfell was last with me.” Terra chuckles something hoarse. “Well, not me.”

“And?”

“I think I can find it.”

“Are you nuts?” Ven leans forward on his chair with both hands on the armrests and whispers (as though Aqua is next door and not on the other side of the castle). “She’ll kill you.”

Terra sits at the marble countertop that separates the kitchen from the dining room. The Master used to say an open layout like this made it a more wholesome environment. “I have to. I’m the missing link in finding it, and she won’t recognize that.”

Ven meets Terra on the counter. “But what would happen to you?”

“Nothing. It’d be like reading memories.”

“Do you hear yourself? What if you see something disgusting?”

Disgusting as in what Xehanort has done to other people. Experiments. Torture. People Terra’s face has lied to and comforted and ridiculed, maybe secrets that no one knows. Would Terra relive them or would he watch them from afar like he’s spying? Will it hurt? Will he have control or is he going to be forced to watch whatever comes to mind and deal with the collateral damage later? Someone has to pay for these crimes. Xehanort never did and Robin Hood doesn’t exist. 

Somewhere, deep in the gutters of his heart lives a thought he’d never voice to anyone: maybe a walk down someone else’s memory lane would let him relive memories of Master Eraqus. That sounds like a good exchange for everything else.

His heart can’t lead him astray, anyway. It can’t take him down a path to Darkness if he cares this much, if he’s this ready to throw himself into the fire and deal with the burns, so long as he keeps good company.

“I don’t think it’s fair that Aqua has to do anything regarding Xehanort. She deserves peace.” 

Ven groans. There’s an unspoken pact of keeping this a secret between them. “You owe me a second vacation just for stressing me out.”

“Done deal.” Terra takes a swish. “Apparently the stars are really pretty at the beach.” 

[athena-athena]

Million Dollar Secret (Yondu x Reader)

A/N: I always struggle with naming fics, and I normally turn to song titles to try to find a name for them.  I put iTunes on shuffle to find a name for this one tonight, and Million Dollar Secret by Lucius popped up after a few tries.  It is perfect.  

The lyrics:

I've got a million dollar secret Can't tell you what it is, I'm keeping it to myself, I won't give it away

I've got a million dollar secret Hope I have the courage to keep it in Won't give in and just give it away

If you really wanna know, baby, come a little closer and I'll whisper in your ear Maybe I'll have forgotten what I was gonna say but Come a little closer, let me whisper in your ear anyway

You can ask over and over But I'm not ready to tell ‘Cause I have all your attention This feeling is suspended in air And I can keep it as long as I may need it Have all your attention as long as it's a mystery

I've got this million dollar secret I think it's best for now that I hold strong But maybe I'll share it at the end of this song

Tagged List:  @celticheart72 @misfitgirlwrites @animeaniseed (As always, just let me know if you’d like to be added/removed to/from my tagged list!  💙)

Warnings:  None.  Teensy bit of angst, but mostly fluff.  

Sitting in the mess hall after dinner, you listened to Yondu talking, while you absentmindedly swirled your glass of water around.  

“When me an’ tha boys were at tha bar last night, there was an asshole in there that jus’ would not shut ‘is stupid mouth.  Kept botherin’ tha waitress, an’ it was obvious she weren’t interested in ‘im. An’ I told ‘im ta leave her alone, an’ he got all smart an’ wanted ta start a fight. So I said to ‘im, if ya know what’s good fer ya, ya won’t take another step. An’ then he did, so I sent my arrow through ‘im.  He ain’t gonna be botherin’ nobody again… Are ya even listenin’ ta me?”

“What?”

“I said, are ya listenin’ ta me?”

“Of course, I am.”

"No, ya ain’t.  Ya ain't payin' a bit of attention ta what I'm tellin' ya."

"That's not true."

"Then what was I sayin'?"

"Um... y’all went to a bar last night.”

"That's all ya got outta all that?"

You crinkled your nose.  "Sorry."

"I don't understand why yer actin' like this. It ain't like ya ta ignore me. 'S'almost like yer in love or somethin'."

"What?"

His eyes widened in realization. "That's it, ain't it? Yer in love."

"Don't be ridiculous, Yondu!  Of course I'm not.  I'm just distracted, that's all."

"Now ya know ya can't lie ta me.  I can see right through ya, so ya might as well come clean."

"I'm not lying."

"Yer fiddlin' with yer hair. That's a sure sign ya ain't bein' completely honest. I know all yer tells."

"You do not!"

He grinned. "Yeah, I do. So who's tha lucky man?"

"I am not in love, so you can stop asking about it."

His grin widened, and he said, "Now yer playing with tha zipper on yer jacket.  ‘Nother giveaway that ya ain't bein' honest with me."

You dropped your zipper and placed your hands on the table in front of you to keep you from doing anything else to give you away.  

Yondu laughed.  “Lookit me.”

“No.”  You were determined to look anywhere other than him, and focused your attention on the control panel on the wall.

“Ya can’t, ‘cause ya know I’ll see right through yer lies if ya do.”

“That’s not true, I just don’t want to give you the satisfaction of doing what you say.”

He laughed again.  “C’mon, now.”  He cupped your chin in his hand and turned your head gently so you had no choice but to look at him.

“I ain’t gonna let this go, ya know.”

“Oh, believe me, I know.”

“Then ya might as well give up, an’ go on an’ admit it.”

You moved your chin out of his grasp.  “Why do you even care?”

“Well, first of all, I thought we’s friends, an’ second, I gotta right ta know what’s goin’ on with my crew members when they keep actin’ all distracted.  Tha last thing I need is fer ya ta be out on a mission an’ get distracted.”

“I’m not going to get distracted while I’m on a mission.  I know better than that.”

“But it’s okay ta ignore yer Cap’n, is it?”

“I thought we were just talking as friends, not as crew and Captain?”  You smirked.

“Think yer so clever.  What if I ordered ya ta tell me, as yer Cap’n?”

“You can’t order me to tell you something about my personal life.”

“Guess yer jus’ ashamed of whoever this fella is.”

You gave him a look.  “If I was in love, I wouldn’t be ashamed.  But I’m not in love.”

“Yer messin’ with yer hair again.”

“Oh, come on!”  You slammed your hands down on the table again.  

He chuckled.  

“I know ya almost as well as ya know yerself, an’ I know yer lyin’, an I ain’t givin’ up ‘til I know who yer in love with.  Could save us a lotta time if ya’d jus’ come clean now.  I ain’t gonna give ya a hard time.”

“You already are.”

“I mean I ain’t gonna give ya a hard time ‘bout whoever yer in love with.”

“If you knew me as well as you think you do, you’d already have your answer.”

“Oh, is that right?”

“Yes.”

“So yer admittin’ yer in love?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Huh.  Well, it don’t matter if ya say it or not.  We both already know ya are.”

He leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms, and studied your face.

“Will you stop that?”

“I’m jus’ thinkin’.”

“Well, you don’t have to stare at me to think.”

“Ya been on this ship fer three years now, an’ this is tha first I’m noticin’ ya actin’ like this, so it can’t be nobody from Terra.”

“Will you please stop?”

“An’ ya don’t really spend much time by yerself off tha ship.”

“Stop trying to figure this out.”

“An’ ya ain’t never flirted with nobody at a bar or nothin’.”

“Yondu...”

“So it’s gotta be somebody on tha ship.  One a tha crew...”

“Just drop it, please.”

“Can’t believe ya’d be in love with one a tha crew.”

You rolled your eyes.  “I can’t believe you’re so interested in this.”

“Oh, I’m interested.  Wanna know who ‘xactly ya find attractive.”

“I honestly don’t know why you care, unless it’s just something to hold over my head.”

“Havin’ somethin’ on ya does sound nice.  Might get ya ta follow my orders fer once.”

“Shut up.”

He placed his elbows on the table, and leaned closer to you, still studying your face.

“That’s really getting annoying, you know.”

“Might as well get used ta it, ‘cause I ain’t stoppin’ ‘til I figure it out.”

Standing up, you said, “Well, I’m going to bed.  Good luck figuring it out.”

“Ya goin’ ta bed by yerself, or is yer mystery man gonna join ya?”

“Do not even think about spying outside my quarters, Yondu Udonta.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.  I’s jus’ askin’.”

“You are the worst.”

“’Night, darlin’.”

“Good night, Yondu.”

__

Later, as you were lying in bed, you thought back over the conversation you’d had with Yondu.  You could not believe he’d actually figured out what was going on with you.  He usually acted as though he was oblivious to things like that, but you knew he saw more than most people realized.  It was why you  should have known better than to let your guard down.  

You were paying attention to him, but you’d gotten distracted by his eyes and mouth as he talked, and you’d lost focus on what he was actually saying. And he was telling the truth – he would not let it go until he figured it out.  

You sighed, and rolled over.  You weren’t sure if he’d ever actually guess that he was the one you were in love with, but he’d eventually run out of Ravagers to consider.  The thought of Yondu trying to play matchmaker between you and one of the crew made you laugh to yourself.  Closing your eyes, you decided you’d worry about it later.

__

“So I’s thinkin’ ‘bout it after ya went ta bed last night, an’ I think I know who it is.”

“Good morning to you, too, Yondu.”  

“Yeah, yeah, mornin’.  Ain’t ya interested in who I think yer in love with?”

“Oh, yes, very interested.”  You picked up a plate, and started looking at your choices for breakfast.

“It’s Kraglin, ain’t it?”  

You looked at him, and realized he actually thought it was Kraglin.  He looked so proud of himself that you almost hated to tell him.  “No, it’s not Kraglin.”

“Ya sure?”

“Yeah, pretty sure.”  You picked up a muffin, placed it on your plate, and walked over to the tray covered in different pastries.  You were so thankful Cook had learned a few Terran recipes for you.  You’d spent the first few months of your time aboard the Eclector trying to find something you could manage to eat.  

“Not Kraglin, huh?”  He was standing with his hands on his hips, surveying the Ravagers already gathered in the mess hall for breakfast.

“Are you going to eat?”

“Wha’?  Oh, yeah.”  He picked up a plate and started piling things onto it without paying attention.  He was too focused on looking at his crew to even see what he was putting on his plate.

“Hungry this morning, are we?”

“Wha’?”

You raised a brow and looked at his plate.

He glanced at it, then looked back at you.  “Yeah, reckon I am.”

You laughed, selected your pastry, then set your plate down so you could pour yourself a cup of coffee.

“You do realize you’re ridiculous, right?”

“Whad’dya mean?”

“Trying to figure out who I’m in love with by examining your crew members in the mess hall?”

“I wouldn’t hafta worry ‘bout it if ya’d jus’ tell me.”

“Nope.”  You picked up your plate and headed to an empty table.

He joined you a couple of minutes later.  “Smart.”

“What’s smart?”

“You not sittin’ with nobody.  Might give me a clue.”

You shook your head and took a bite of your muffin.  Swallowing, you replied, “So ridiculous.”

“Gonna be headin’ out on a mission later this week.  Got any preference who I group ya with?”

“Nope.”

“A’right.  How ‘bout I put ya with Oblo?”

“That’s fine.”

“An’… Narblik.”

“Also fine.”

“What about…”  He glanced around the room again.  “Gef?”

“Whatever you want to do, Captain.”

“Ya ain’t gonna gimme no clues, are ya?”

“Nope.”  You grinned, then took another bite of your muffin.

“Ain’t a problem.  Yer gonna slip up one a these days, an’ I’m gonna figure out yer secret.”

You smiled sweetly at him.  “I’m sure you will.”

He sighed, and finally turned his attention to his plate.  He looked surprised at the amount of food he’d piled onto it.  “I ain’t gonna be able ta eat all this.”

Laughing, you replied, “I didn’t think so.”  

You finished the last of your coffee, then stood, and said, “Well, I’ve gotta get to work.  See you later, Sherlock.”

“What’s that supposed ta mean?”

You laughed.  “Nothing.  Enjoy your feast.”

__

You were on your way to your quarters later than evening, looking forward to a hot shower and a nice, relaxing evening with a book, when your wrist communicator beeped.  It was Yondu.  

“Hey, Yondu, what’s up?”

“Where are ya?”

“Heading to my room.  Why?”

“Meet me in tha common room.”

“Why?”

“Jus’ do it.”

“I was planning on taking a shower and then catching up on some reading..”

“Ya can still do that.  Jus’ wanna talk ta ya fer a while.”

“Is this another ploy to try to get me to tell you who I’m in love with?”

“’Course not!  Jus’ wanna see ya.”

“I saw you not that long ago.  What could you possibly have to say that you can’t say right now?”

“Ya sure yer gonna be alone, or -?”

“Don’t go there again, Yondu.  I swear, you’re not going to find me sneaking one of the crew members into my quarters.”

“So does he know yer in love with him?”

“No, he obviously does not.”

“How’re ya so sure?”

Because he’s spending his entire day trying to figure out who I’m in love with, instead of realizing it’s him.

“Because I haven’t told him.”

“I think he’d notice that ya had feelin’s fer him.”

“No, I really don’t think he would.”

“Ain’t too bright, huh?”

You laughed, hard.  “Oh, I wouldn’t say that.”

“Why’re ya laughin’?”

“No reason.”

“C’mon, meet me in tha common room.”

“Fine, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Good.  See ya in a few.”

He disconnected before you could respond, and you sighed.  So much for a nice, relaxing evening with your book.

__

You walked into the common room to see Yondu deep in thought.  “Hey, Yondu.”

He jerked his head in your direction at the sound of your voice. “Oh, hey, Y/N.”

Sitting next to him on the couch, you asked, “You still trying to figure out who I’m in love with?”

“Somethin’ like that.”

“So what did you want to tell me?”

“Wha’?”

“You made me walk all the way over here from my quarters because you wanted to talk to me, and you couldn’t say it over the communicator.”

“I jus’ wanted ta see ya.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nah, I did.”

“You know I’m not going to accidentally slip up and tell you who I love, right?”

“Yeah, I know.  I ain’t gonna bug ya ‘bout it tonight.”

“Are you sick?”  You looked at him in concern, and placed the back of your hand against his forehead.

“Very funny.  Nah, I ain’t sick.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“Nothin’.”

“Something is wrong,  This is not normal Yondu Udonta behavior.”

He finally looked at you.  “I don’t like it.”

Your brows constricted in confusion.  “Don’t like what?”

“Tha thought of ya in love with somebody on tha ship.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Ain’t none of ‘em can treat ya right.”

“Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“Yondu… what brought this on?  You were all into figuring it out earlier today, and now you don’t want me in love with anybody?”

“Jus’ been’ doin’ some thinkin’, that’s all.”

“About what?”

“Nothin’.”

“Okay, you’re the one who wanted me to come down here and talk to you, so you’re going to talk.  What happened?”

“I said it’s nothin’.  I jus’ don’t wanna see ya with any a tha clowns on this ship.”

He crossed his arms and leaned back on the couch, a scowl on his face.

“I don’t see why you care who it is...”

He looked at you then, and said, “I care ‘cause I can’t stand tha thought a seein’ ya with another man!”  

“What?”

“I don’t wanna hafta see ya hangin’ all over somebody, while I hafta jus’ sit back an’ act like I don’t care.”

“I don’t understand...”

“Jus’ ferget I said anythin’ ‘bout it.”  He stood up, and continued, “Sorry fer makin’ ya walk down here.  I’m goin’ ta bed.”

You grabbed his hand before he walked away.  “Oh, no, you’re not. You’re not leaving this room until we talk about this.”  You pulled him down beside you, and he sat with a huff.

“Look at me.”

He turned his ruby eyes on you, and you could see the pain in them. “What’s wrong, Yondu?”

He closed his eyes, and turned away from you again.  “It don’t matter.”

“Yeah, it does.  What happened today?”

He sighed, and sat in silence for a moment, before he said, “I been doin’ a lot a thinkin’ today...”

“Yeah, I know.  Trying to figure out who I’m in love with.”

“Yeah, that.  An’ the more I thought about it, the angrier I got.”

“Angry?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

He stood up, suddenly, and strode to the other side of the room, keeping his back to you.  “Dammit, ‘cause I’m in love with ya myself!  An’ I’d jus’ as soon kill any man that laid a hand on ya as ta look at ‘im.  An’ I wouldn’t be able ta do that, ‘cause then I’d be causin’ ya pain, and’ that’s tha last thing I wanna do.”

“Yondu...”

“No, lemme finish.  I know I’m tha one that was botherin’ ya by tryin’ ta get ya ta tell me, an’ I’s sorry ‘bout that, but I don’t wanna know.  Jus’ don’t tell me, an’ if I ever see ya with someone, I’ll jus’ pretend I didn’t see nothin’, an’ we can jus’ go on bein’ friends.”

“Yondu, please...”

“Unless ya don’t wanna be friends no more.  Then I guess I can jus’ be yer Cap’n.”

“I don’t want that, Yondu.”  You stood and walked to stand behind him, placing a hand on his back.  “I need to tell you something.”

You felt his back stiffen at your words, and he said, “I don’t wanna know who yer in love with now, a’right?”

“I think you need to know.”

He turned around to face you, and the sadness on his face almost made you cry.  “No, I don’t need ta know.  It’s tha last thing I wanna know.”

“You idiot.”

“Wha’?”

“You are such an idiot.  How can you realize I’m in love, and not realize you’re the one I’m in love with?  You’ve spent the last twenty-four hours trying to figure it out, and you never realized it was you?”

“If it was me, why didn’t ya jus’ say so?”

“Because I didn’t think you felt the same way.”

“I didn’t realize jus’ how much I loved ya ‘til I thought about ya with another man.”  He placed his hand on your hip.  “Ya sure ya ain’t jus’ sayin’ this ta make me feel better?”

“You really are an idiot, Yondu Udonta.”  You leaned up onto your tiptoes and kissed him.

His other arm snaked around your waist and pulled you closer to him, as you wrapped your arms around his neck.  

When you broke the kiss several minutes later, he grinned at you, and said, “I might be an idiot, but I’m yer idiot.”  

“Yes, you are.”  You returned his grin, then kissed him again.  

[nadziejastar]

It's sort of amazing the difference between the fan interpretation of RAX and how they interact in canon. In Days they're super dysfunctional, border on being toxic, and their friendship was unsustainable from the start even if they didn't realize it. In fanon they're a picture perfect family who can never be torn apart. And the KH3 went with the fan interpretation instead of acknowledging any of their issues.

I totally agree. I think the reason is that the fandom tends to be very young. It’s a big reason why Akuroku became so popular, IMO. Young teens tend to misinterpret unhealthy obsession (like Axel’s) as romance and true love. And the Sea-Salt Trio’s dysfunction also was also overlooked in a similar manner.

I gotta be honest. I feel pretty uncomfortable with the general interpretation of the Sea-Salt Trio in this fandom. It’s just so bizarre to me how Roxas and Xion’s friendship with Axel was put on such a pedestal and how his relationship with Isa was pretty much ignored by almost everyone. It’s just…amazingly unrealistic if you think about it. I think it’s a testament to how young the fans are, in general.

Axel’s relationships truly aggravate me, because he was written a LOT differently than Sora or other simplistic characters. I know that the target demographic for Kingdom Hearts is pretty young. And in the end, I think Axel’s character was a victim of that. Nomura tried to write him very authentically at first.

But his characterization was dumbed down to fit in with a largely tween/teen audience and their preferences. I don’t say that to be disparaging to younger fans or anything. But, had KH3 not been a Disney property, and had it been targeted to a slightly older audience, I think Axel and his relationships would have been handled a LOT differently.

I definitely think the Sea-Salt Trio was VERY misunderstood by the fandom. Axel has known Saïx for at least 10 years. Probably more. Even before their backstory was explained, you could tell they have been through hell together in the organization, without anyone else to trust besides each other. Axel was willing to do all of his dirty work. 

Then Axel meets Roxas and Xion. Two kids who—let’s be honest—are about on the level of your average fifth grader. Not a bad thing. They’re just very naive and childlike and he obviously can’t be 100% himself around them. Do people really think Axel is gonna replace his best friend so easily with two kids he’s known for less than a year? Apparently, yes. Let’s look how absurd it is.

Day 75

Inseparable

The Genie we met in Agrabah said he and his friend Al are "inseparable." Axel told us best friends can be inseparable even if they're not always together, but it sounded like he wasn't too sure about it himself. I thought Axel knew everything. Oh well...

At this point, Axel spent quite a while at Castle Oblivion. He hasn’t even gotten to know Roxas that well, and he’s only known Xion for a few days. It’s totally realistic that he’d say he doesn’t have a best friend. He sounds like he knows what it’s like to have a best friend, though. He just doesn’t have one anymore.

Day 96

Roxas: I just…want these days to last forever. Hanging out, the ice cream, the sunsets…

Axel: Nothing lasts forever, man. Least of all for a bunch of Nobodies. But you know, we’ll still have each other…even if things change and we can’t do this anymore.

Roxas: Yeah?

Axel: As long as we remember each other, we’ll never be apart. Got it memorized?

Roxas: Ha ha, wow, Axel. That sounded ridiculous.

Axel: What? I thought it was pretty deep.

Not even two weeks later, he’s acting all touchy-feely about the time they spend hanging out together. Roxas and Xion make fun of him because even they know they’re not really that close, lol. They hardly know each other at this point. If you read between the lines, you could tell that he was thinking about Saïx here, too.

Friends

Author: Axel

I feel like I’ve been spending more time talking to Roxas and Xion lately than my old friend, Saïx. This has to have been what it was like, friendship.

But if that wasn’t obvious enough, the report clears up all doubt. He WAS thinking about Saïx. The message I got was: Lea and Isa had a very close relationship as humans. They were the ones who were really inseparable. 

Axel misses that and, the more he remembers it, is desperate to fill the void. Every time he mentions “best friends,” it relates back to this. But this concept went “whoosh” over 90% of the fandom’s head. It baffles me. I really just don’t get it. Again, I have to think it’s due to the fact that this series skews really young. 

Day 118

You Changed, Not Me

Author: Axel

Talking to Roxas and Xion always brings back memories of my human life, back when I was a kid. It’s a weird sensation. I ought to be able to share all this with Saïx, but I just don’t feel like it anymore. It’s strange, but I’m content with just missing what’s gone. I’m not the one who changed. You did.

Anyways. Three weeks later. Axel is very hung up on the past. He sounds like a heartbroken lover (because that’s exactly what he is, if you ask me). The reason Axel spends so much time with Roxas and Xion is because Isa changed.

Day 150

Too Precious to Lose

Axel and I talked for a while about the things we can’t bear to lose. Axel thinks that for Nobodies, it’s our pasts, because that’s all we have to remember the pain of losing something. I don’t remember my past, but the idea of losing the present–Axel or Xion–scares me.

A month later. Axel comes back from Castle Oblivion yet again, and he’s even more nostalgic for the past than last time. I bet Axel’s time at C.O was gonna be featured as a blank period in BBSV2. But whatever. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing his memories of the past.

The reason Axel treasured his memories so much was because it’s all he had left after losing something. OBVIOUSLY it’s because of his relationship with Isa. I mean, duh. It implies a pretty special connection between Axel/Lea and Saïx/Isa for him to feel that way, especially considering how mean Saïx is to him.

I’m not trying to trash Axel’s feelings for Roxas and Xion, either, or make them out to be unimportant. They were important to him, for sure. But they absolutely did not reach Isa’s level of importance to him. No fucking way. Not. Even. Close. Especially not on Day 150. By the end of the story, Axel couldn’t bear to lose Roxas and Xion because they were all he had to fill the void of Isa.

That’s not to say that he didn’t care about them as friends, or that he was just using them. It just means that I don’t think Axel really would want to be “inseparable” with Roxas and Xion once he was mentally and emotionally healthy. He’d want to be friends with them, of course, but not hang out every day like Hayner, Pence, and Olette. He’s not on the same level as Roxas and Xion. And that’s fine.

Terra: Protect the things that matter… Right. My friends matter to me, too. So, I still have things that I have to protect.

To use a comparison, Riku was very important to Terra. I LOVED the connection between them. Other than Lea and Isa, one of the things I was most excited to see in KH3 was Riku and Terra reuniting (yeah…). They had a very special bond. Riku helped comfort Terra when he was down. But. Riku was NOT as important to Terra as Aqua and Ven were. Even if Terra had spent a whole year with Riku, he still wouldn’t be as important to Terra as Aqua and Ven.

Roxas and Xion being portrayed as the most important people to Axel is as ridiculous to me as Riku being portrayed as the most important person to Terra. It would be weird if 99% of the fanart out there depicted Riku as Terra’s best friend and Terra’s reunion with Riku got more spotlight in KH3 than his reunion with Ven and Aqua.

That’s how I feel about the Sea-Salt Trio. I really liked it for what it was in Days. A complex, morally grey friendship between an emotionally damaged adult and two innocent kids. But I really don’t like the overly saccharine, cutesy, cuddly, one-dimensional fandom version of it, where Axel is treated like he’s on the same level as the two teens. It’s a testament to how young the fandom is that people really thought Lea would be “meh” about reuniting with his childhood best friend who’s been possessed for 10 years, and be waaaay more excited about getting to eat ice cream with two teens every day once again. 

Day 172

What’s Love?

On my mission at Beast’s Castle, Xaldin told me about "love” and the special power it has over people. I tried to ask Axel about it, but his explanation didn’t make any sense to me. Every time I ask him about this kind of thing, he tells me I need a heart to understand. It’s like he’s dodging the questions.

Axel tolerates severe emotional abuse from his possessed best friend because he loved him back when he was normal. He copes by with his extremely shitty life by living entirely in the past, through his memories. Hanging out with two kids helps him remember his old life, back when he was happy. God, he was such a fascinating character. Such wasted potential.

Day 193

Best Friends

Xion's awake now. The three of us were gonna go get some ice cream after our mission, but she passed out again, so we had to take her home. I talked with Axel in her room until she woke up. He said the three of us were best friends—inseparable. 

Axel said he had no best friend on Day 75. Now it’s Day 193. That’s only 119 days. That’s less than four months!! He gets in a fight with Saïx, who, once again, says he’s changed. A very sore topic for Axel. Then immediately afterwards, he says these two kids are his best friends.

If I was gonna compare it to real life: Let’s say Lea and Isa were two normal high school kids who were kidnapped and raised in a gang. Axel is a 25/26 year-old former gang member. He’s got blood on his hands. He’s a good person deep down, but he’s seen a lot of shit. Then he meets these two fifth graders. This adult gang member, with tear-drop tats and everything, suddenly starts calling these two fifth graders his best friends. He wants to spend all of his time eatig ice cream and playing Minecraft with them.

If this was real life, would anyone say how cute it is that they are best friends? Two kids who he had to teach the concept of “best friends” to? NO! No, they’d say that’s unhealthy and weird and that the guy needs therapy. Because it IS unhealthy and weird. Perhaps it easier to see that as an adult. Perhaps it’s easier to see it in a romanticized way when you’re young.

The Sea-Salt Trio was, in a way, Axel forcing the label of “best friends” on two kids in an attempt to cope with the heartbreak of his loss of innocence. It did have genuine cuteness and sweetness. Of course it did. Axel was not a predator or anything. Roxas and Xion loved him. Axel loved them. But…it wasn’t as cutesy and wholesome as people make it out to be. At least not from Axel’s end. It wasn’t JUST a cute wholesome trio. 

That’s what made it so good. It was complex and grey. Axel never went against the organization, even though he could have if he really wanted to. It got to the point where he nearly killed both Roxas and Xion, just because he couldn’t bring himself to go against the organization. And the reason he couldn’t go against the organization was because of Saïx. Yes. Axel came thiiiiis close to killing both Roxas and Xion for a sociopath who treated him like shit. Their friendship was very dysfunctional and had a lot of kinks to work out.

Again, I’m not trying to denigrate the bond Axel had with Roxas and Xion. It was still genuine and sweet, in a sad and messed up way. I can still appreciate the cuteness of it.

But I hated the Sea-Salt reunion in KH3. Because it only focused on the most one-dimensional, saccharine and cutesy portrayal of them possible. They didn’t have to talk about anything. It was just instant hugging and ice cream, now they’re best friends forever. Everything played up to the max to manipulate people’s emotions. None of their issues were worked out and they had no better understanding of each other than they did at the end of Days. Honestly, even though Roxas and Xion got the red carpet treatment compared to Isa, the resolution to their trio was just as pathetic as Isa/Lea’s duo. 

[sokaiweek]

Day One Sokai Week (Quote)

Quote

(Day 1)

AN: Decided to participate in Sokai week this year because KH3!!!

“Not one More Second.”

Whenever Sora went on a adventure with his friends, more often than not Donald and Goofy being his constant traveling companions, it would feel like their mission would take months, maybe even years when in actuality it was merely a few weeks. But this one, after the Keyblade War and stopping Xahanort once and for all? Only to have to pay the price for using the power of waking to save all his friends, to save Kairi? It felt like eons.

It had to be only a couple weeks though, it had to be, however with the unending night of Shibuya, it was hard to tell when days passed. It was only now, face down on the ground covered with cuts and bruises with the concrete around him from the half wall he had been thrown through, that he really gave it much thought. He remembered waking up here, a teardrop hitting his hand being what woke him, and wandering the city streets for a solid hour before being attacked.

Ever since then, it was a constant fight.

The Keyblade wielder tried to push himself off the ground, but it was no use, his arms were plain tired from the constant swinging of his blade. But his forehead hit the ground a second later, the sounds of battle echoing in the air as Riku fought against the man in the black cloak. The one who insisted he be called Master, and Sora wasn’t going to lie, the way he had been easily beating him and Riku senseless was proof of that. I just…..can’t, I can’t even hit him. Sora relented internally. It wasn’t a matter of difference in strength it was sheer skill. Every slash was counted, every charge dodged, every move he had, Strike Raid, Ragnarök, Sonic Blade, even his and Riku’s team up attacks were useless.

Gathering what little strength he had left, he pushed himself over onto his side, his right arm stretched out against the ground, there was a deep cut across his wrist that was bleeding, the gauntlet of his new outfit was dangling off his wrists with the straps having come undone. That’s not good…..really wish Donald was here…or anyone really…..except her….. Sora thought sadly.

Kairi.

She was his entire inspiration for getting out of Shibuya, all his friends where of course but Kairi……she was different. Dear god she was different. He thought of her whenever his determination wavered, whenever he was knocked down, her face would come to mind, the way she titled her head with a cute smile and offered him a paopu fruit the day before everything went wrong. She was his light……and it took him far too long o figure that out. Riku was important too, he couldn’t stress that enough to his oldest friend but he understood.

He heard a pained yell of Riku as the ground shook from an impact.

…e…p….S…a…..

Riku…..he was the last person he expected to come across here, but that wasn’t the case for him. He embraced Sora as though he….well he did die. Right in front of Riku and everyone……in front of Kairi. Holding her hand while he did it. He remembered the tear go down her cheek, God what did you do? You did it again, you abandoned her again……after everything……what is wrong with me? he thought weakly. I remember when I came home the first time after my adventure, my mom….she cried so hard….I can’t remember if it was from joy, sadness, or just….anger…..I wonder if Kairi did that….cursed me for leaving her again….dying because of her.

And not just Kairi, he left everyone, Roxas and Ven, two people who Sora could almost call family with what they three shared. He wished that the three of them could have spent more time together. Donald and Goofy, they were almost like pseudo parents to him, they loved him like a son and he felt that. He wanted to make them proud, he wanted to see the looks on their faces when he returned with his usual beaming smile on his face and just surprise them…….but he knew that they must have wept harder than most for his death.

He was pulled from his thoughts as a bright light suddenly washed over him, when his eyes adjusted to the sudden light he saw it….just a couple dozen feet away. A door to the Light.

G…t…up….Sor….

He heard boots on the ground walk towards him. The shadow of a tall man passed over his turned over form, “Still alive? Well alive is…..semi-accurate.” he heard the cloaked man say. Sora’s half lidded eye slowly moved to the source of the voice, it was him, the Master of course. Worry began to bubble in his heart, where was Riku? Was he ok? Did he-

A flash of Darkness circled around the Master, Riku appearing from it with his keybalde swinging. The Master ducked his torso back enough to give his hand enough time to reach at Riku’s chest, an blast of dark aura sent Riku flying though the door to light. “He is very, very, persistent. Which can be annoying, but I find it oddly endearing.” the Master mused to himself before his cloaked face returned to Sora. The sky blue irises flickered red for a moment, “You know that’s not going to work, you and your shadow friend tried teaming up and well…..” he did a gesture to Sora.

Sora hated that he was right. His shadow…..Vanitas. Despite his defeat during the Keyblade war, he remained to be a equal part of Sora. At first he was a pest to say the least, but over time….they found a sort of understanding. But still seeing his own face on someone else? It still was an adjustment, but using darkness that Vanitas was able to provide saved his life in the city. Riku had encouraged it with caution, but deep down he knew that Sora would never succumb to darkness.

Get up Sora.

“Don’t feel too bad about it, this has been a long time coming. Literally years, decades in the making! You get trapped here, saving all your friends, and they all scramble to try and save you. But that’s friendship isn’t it? Doing whatever you can for someone whose heart is connected to yours……yeah…..you should be proud Sora.” he admitted sincerely. He turned on his heel and began walking towards the door to light. Passing through the threshold, Sora closed his eyes.

Aqua….Terra…..Ven….Donald…..Goofy….Micky…..Lea….Roxas…..Xion…Namine….Kairi…..I’m so sorry……but I don’t think I’m going to come back. he thought, a tear seeping out of his shut eye. He knew that he was the last one who deserved any pity, he cause them so much pain. He felt it, he dreamed of Kairi mourning him, crying at the small island while his friends tried to console her while dealing with their own grief. He felt terrible about it, he said as much to Riku but he assured him that no one, especially Kairi blamed him. She would blame herself more than him but that honestly made him feel even worse.

Maybe…..maybe it was better this way?

His time here had given him time to reflect, how many times had he almost died? Heck how many times did he actually die and come back somehow? He knew that he wasn’t the most wise of all his friends, and he never would claim to be, but maybe…this was fate? A balance of the scales, he’s come out of the frying pan and fire so many times now, maybe this is how he gets burned?

Get up Sora!!!

His eye cracked open at the voice, he didn’t know if it was his own internal voice or the small one that echoed from his heart, the one that came to him in moments of doubt. He could see through the doorway, the Master was fighting Riku, the Keybalde Master fighting with everything he had despite his state being only slightly better than Sora’s current one.

Then he saw her.

A blur of pink and black charged at the Master’s back, Destiny’s Embrace in the princess of light’s hands as she brought it down towards the cloaked man’s head, only for him to grab the keyblade and swing her around into Riku. Rage filled Sora, just as when Xahanort had struck her down in front of him he felt a flurry of emotions, anger, sadness, relief, joy, but above all else……fear. He had seen her die once before and that was NOT going to happen again!!

GET UP SORA!!!

It was her voice, her heart echoing within his, it was her deepest wish…..to come back.

Sora gathered his strength, picking himself up off the ground slowly as the fight continued, he heard Donald call down a Meteor and the howl of Goofy’s battle cry. He was finally back on his own two feet, looking down at the ground he took a few deep breaths, he was in no shape to fight. Ignoring that his legs felt like cement blocks, the fact he could barely hear anything out his left ear, and the cut on his arm was bleeding a lot. He must have looked half dead……which was pretty accurate as to how his current state was.

Looking back at the Door to Light he saw her once again, her bright azure eyes locked on the Master with a fire he never saw before. She was saying something to him but he couldn’t hear it…..but he still knew what she said, “You are not standing between him and us!! We made a promise…..and I’m going to keep it!”

My promise…….right….she’s right. he thought, his feet planted on the ground he lifted himself up into a hunched over standing position. Looking down at his bloody arm, he reached over with his other to the strap of his gauntlet. Grabbing the yellow strap he adjusted it over the cut and pulled it tight, hissing out at the sharp pain radiating out from his arm. I vowed…..we wouldn’t be apart. Not for One More Second. Sora thought, his eyes locking on the door of light before summoning his Keyblade.

Kairi panted as she took a minute to compose herself, “Alright I’ll admit, you have potential.” she looked up from the ground to the man who called himself the Master. She glanced over to Riku on the ground. He wasn’t moving but that was more or less due to exhaustion than his wounds. Looking over to her other side, Donald and Goofy were keeling over, a little bruised up but they were hanging in there. The court mage looked between her and Riku, he was obviously debating who he could cast a Cure to, but she shook her head, she could at the very least hold him off for a few minutes more.

“It’s clear though that you don’t have much experience, well compared to your friend at least. Still though can’t say that’s your fault, I mean old man Sid did send you and the other redhead to train against furniture in a forest.” he mocked, his tone sounding good natured like a friend but only felt like an insult to Kairi. He hadn’t even used a weapon for crying out loud! He was just using his bare hands! She planted her feet firmly, holding her Keyblade pointed up with her hands near her hip, Your form isn’t bad, but if you lift your Keybalde more-oh sorry, sorry, force of habit. My other student would do that all the time.”

She sprung forward, the tip of her blade grazed against the ground before slashing up right before the Master, a arch of light coming out and shooting at the hooded man. He Pivoted to the left where Kairi’s Kayblade jabbed at. Her small victory turned when he presented his palm out to the tip of her weapon and stopped it dead. Her eyes widened at the display, “Nice feint. But you-“ he was suddenly cut off as something came flying at him from behind towards his head.

He jumped over to the side to avoid the attack, the Keybalde flew past Kairi into the ground behind her, turning her head to fallow it her breath caught in her throat. It was Sora’s! Her head whipped back as the blade was summoned back to its owner in a flash of light.

Sora held the grip tight as his trusty weapon materialized within his hand, his gaze locked on the Master’s as for the first time in what felt like decades, light passed over him. He didn’t recognize the world he was at, all he noticed was the rocky terrain with only a few spots of green on the ground with mountains in the distance. “Well, well, well, look who has some fight left in him.” the Master mused as Sora let out something akin to s curt growl.

All the while, Kairi had cased all movement, it was Sora….he was alive…..

His clothes were dirty and torn in a few places, the right side of his face had a series of bruises and a cut above his left eye. His left arm was caked with wet blood, he had bags under his eyes, and his hair was even more frazzled than ever before. She tried to say his name, but it wouldn’t leave her lips. He looked horrible, Riku had been roughed up but Sora was a whole different shade of worse.  Her eyes locked on the Master with fury behind them, And he’s the one who did it! she spat internally before charging at him again, Sora  doing the same.

The Master sighed, “Really?” he asked, ducking beneath Sora’s attack and rolling out of the way of Kairi’s, he held up his hands and created two orbs of darkness, “Look let’s end-“

“Cure!!” Donald shouted out, drawing the Mater’s attention momentarily.

Neither Sora nor Kairi received the blessing, I took a second for him to realize who received it, “Oh crap,” he said dryly before leaping into the air out of Riku’s bombardment of darkness from behind. Sora lunged at him in midair only for him to flip out of the attack way before the Keybalde wielder turned in midair and threw his keybalde at him. “You really think that’ll wor-“ before the Kingdom Key stuck the back of his head, sending him down towards the ground as Kairi came down after him with both her’s and Sora’s blades in her hands.

Raisng her own over her head to plunge it down, Sora summoned his back to him as the Master blocked her finishing blow. Sora’s blade slammed into his back and knocking him into Riku who slashed at the Master’s chest and knocked him away. Looking around he saw that the trio had surrounded him, “Ngh….took you long enough. Finally got me on the ropes.” he said, making the tree look at him in disbelief. “Hey, I’m man enough to admit when I’m cornered……..also to run away.” he said before he began to shimmer away, his hood turned to Sora, he still couldn’t see his face but for a brief second he could make out a lone eye beneath the hood, one he’d seen somewhere before. “Nice work kid.” he applauded before disappearing in front of the three.

The next few seconds were tense, Sora’s eyes darted around, expected a surprise attack as soon as he lowered his guard. But it never came, and when that realization hit him so did everything else. His keybalde disappeared, his vision blurred, his legs gave out, it all happened at once and he fell, but instead of what he expected to be fairly hard ground he was caught in someone’s arm’s.

She choked out a noise that sounded like a garbled version of his name, “S-Sora!” she sobbed out, tears spilling out of her eyes as she held him up as she stood on her knees in front of him. His head was buried in her shoulder, her aroma of coconuts and saltwater, the smell of home, reach his nostrils. He let out a shaky breath, he was back…..he was back…..he was back!!! Lifting his non bloody arm, he placed it on her other shoulder and lifted himself back to get a better look at her.

Her hair was still short like it was after her training, some of it sticking to her sweaty forehead but it still looked beautiful. Her blue orbs looked into his as tears split from his own eyes and choked sob escaped his lips, “I-……I….I’m sorry I-…” he cried out.

She shook her head, “Don’t just……don’t….it’s not your fault….” she sniffled, her hand reaching up to the side of his face and gently laying her palm against the bruised skin. Her other interlocked with his limp arm. She didn’t care in the slightest that it got her hand bloody, he was here, he was safe, that was all that mattered right now.

His forehead dipped forward a little bit, “I…..made a promise…..I…I’m not gonna leave you again….not one more second….I swear…” he said tiredly, his eyes feeling like they were being weighed down by anvils.

He felt Kairi’s forehead touch his own, “I know you won’t.”

Sora slumped against her, his entire body exhausted from the fighting, but he had done it yet again, he made him way back to Kairi. Deep down he knew he would but for the longest time it felt like a pipe dream…..but it was real. He was back.

He came back to her.

[johannstutt413]

(requested by anonymous)

Penguin Logistics and Rhine Labs were never strongly associated; the unofficial leader of RI’s RL faction, Silence, was cordial with Penguin’s actual leader, the Emperor himself, and their interactions didn’t need to go any further. For most of their time side-by-side, the two groups really had nothing to bridge them together.

Until, that is, one arctic explorer joined from Rhine Labs. Magallan, the bright-eyed cold-weather drone specialist loved by her colleagues, had already spent some time with the Emperor. She’d visited the far north many times, and being a Liberi with some penguin-like features herself, she got along quite well with the true avians there. It was only natural that she’d find the Emperor absolutely adorable. What the employees of Penguin Logistics hadn’t quite expected was for Maggie, as the Emperor called her, to become an honorary member of PL...in a sense. After all, it’s not like his girlfriend wouldn’t be involved in the company’s affairs somehow, right?

As for the logistical concerns of their relationship...that’s not our place to speculate.

A week after she first arrived at Rhodes Island, Magallan learned that the Emperor spent a substantial amount of time in a sector of RI dedicated to him and his people; essentially, he bought that portion for his people as another of his bases, but after some time working with the Doctor and his people, it made more sense to make it their main post. He was commonly found in their office, playing hip-hop or some of Sora’s music while doing paperwork, which made him easy enough to find.

“Excuse me,” Magallan called out into the lobby of Penguin Logistics, “but is Emperor around?”

“Oh, hey, Miss Maggie! He’s in his room in the back - you can’t miss it.” Exusiai directed her from the couch, where she was splayed out, a magazine in her hands.

She nodded, mentally preparing herself. It had been awhile since she’d seen him, honestly, and even knowing he wasn’t the sort to change, what she wanted to ask him today...she had good reason to be nervous. Like Exu had said, it wasn’t hard to figure out that the room that smelled like fish and liquor was his, especially with the rap tracks pouring through the crack under the door. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door. “Hey, Emperor? Do you have a minute?”

“Maggie?” The music turned down several notches, enough for her to hear the skittering of his feet across his room. A minute or two later, he opened his door. “As I live and breathe. When’d you get here?”

“A week ago. I was getting my workshop and everything set up, but I heard you were here, so...Gotta minute?”

Emperor swung the door wide open, gesturing around an office/bedroom in wild disarray. “Sit anywhere, move anything, don’t matter. I’d get you a throne, but Bison’s out right now.”

“Bison?” She perched herself on his bed, legs dangling over the side. “Is he new?”

“Yeah, new intern. Good kid, needs to learn to let loose. You’ll meet ‘em. Whatcha wanna talk about?”

Maggie blushed. “Right. Um...Do you want to go ice-skating some time?”

“Hell yeah! I know just the spot.” He crossed his flippers. “You alright, Maggie?”

“Oh, I’m more than alright,” she smiled.

Emperor nodded. “Good shit. When you wanna go? I’ve got all the time in the world for you.”

“So we can go tonight?” Maggie hopped off the bed and walked over to where he was standing by his desk. “If that’s alright with you, I’m gonna go home and change. Call me when you’re good to go?”

“Sure thing, Magpie.” He stretched his neck up and clicked softly and happily as she ruffled his feathers in just the right way. There were a few people who could get away with something like this, but he only asked for it from Magallan. No one else knew the right spots without being told.

After a good ruffling, she kissed his forehead and went on her way. A quick shower, a can of sardines, and a rifle through her closer later, and Magallan was ready. The phone rang not long after she’d gotten dressed. “Hello?”

“Hey doll, how’s it kicking?” Emperor chuckled, a very birdlike variant of the sound. “Texas is gonna take us out there; they froze a lake out near Chernobog fighting that rabbit-girl from Reunion the Doc’s got on ice in the medbay, and it’s pretty lit.”

“Sounds good to me. Wait, we’re taking care of someone from Reunion?”

He made a noise she understood to be shared confusion. “Beats me, Magpie. We’re on the way to grab ya, if you’re good.”

“I’m ready when you are.” Maggie giggled. “Poor Texas, though.”

“Don’t worry, I worked somethin’ out for her, too.”

A voice from the front seat. “Hi, Maggie!”

“Hi, Sora!” She giggled again. “Alright, I’ll see you soon.”

“Sure will. Tex, juice this puppy, we ain’t got all day!”

-

Magallan and the Emperor rode in the back of the car, the penguin sitting in Maggie’s lap, while Sora flirted with Texas in the front. As they drove at impressive speeds, propelled by the Lupo in the driver seat’s lead foot, the two of them made small talk, catching up from their time apart and falling back into their lovey-dovey rhythm. They’d always had a way of picking right back up where they’d left off, but because of their frequent absences from each other, it meant not much progress in between. And frankly? Both of them were tired of that. The Emperor didn’t just keep a bunch of cute girls (and Bison) around because they were effective; he needed distractions, and having a couple of Angels for his Charlie certainly made that easier...but Maggie wasn’t just another girl. His little Magpie was a Liberi closer to him than the vast majority, a well-blended mix of cheerful and rational who could temper his admittedly over-the-top personality if it needed to be, and she was cute as all hell, which amplified her other positives because he’d be paying attention to her regardless. To Magallan, the Emperor was simply incredible - a penguin, a penguin of all things, with enough mastery of Ancient language to become a successful rapper renowned for his skills and owner of perhaps Terra’s greatest logistics company (if not in size, then in spirit)? He was utterly fascinating to her, but it went further than that. The Emperor was a bad boy, the kind of person who took what he wanted when he wanted it, and yet he showed her nothing but patience. If he’d wanted, he could have had at any time, but something held him back. That kind of self-restraint was so hard to explain with the rest of his character, it had to mean something, didn’t it?

They arrived at the lake, and while Texas parked the car, Magallan and the Emperor headed directly for the ice. With one click of her heels, Maggie had her ice skates ready to go, and her date simply extended a flipper for her to hold as he slid on his feet.

“I’ve never seen a penguin skate,” she mused, watching him more than the lake around them. “Have you been practicing?”

“When your lady loves the ice, ya gotta stay fresh, so every now and again I come out for a skatin’ sesh.”

Maggie chuckled. “A rhyme for every occasion.”

“It’s not about memory, but flow, you see. Tell me, doll, why’d you invite me out this eve?”

“I wanted you back around once I had my feet on the ground; I never guessed I’d be so blessed to find you in the same town.”

He chirped for joy. “You’ve been practicing, too.”

“Gotta keep up with my boo.”

“I’m glad you do...damn.” He shook his head. “Missed the perfect line.”

Maggie smiled. “You make mistakes? I thought they were just fakes to trick the fools who don’t grasp the stakes?”

“When we’re the only two here to hear? No joke, though - shoulda said ‘Damn, I love you.’ Waste of a verse, might as well toss me in the hearse.”

“...Could we instead turn back on that subject and converse?”

Emperor looked up at her, bemused. “You know I love you.”

“I do...it’s just, you’ve never said it before.”

“Like you said, I make mistakes.” He shifted his weight to one foot as they rounded the lake’s steepest curve. “Not saying that more often is high on that list.”

She blushed. “Empy...”

“Oh, why you gotta be so damn cute.”

“When we get back,” Maggie asked, “do you wanna come over to my place for a nightcap?”

Expressing the cocktail of emotions the suggestion flooded him with wasn’t an easy task. “You askin’ me to come over?”

“At least for a drink...maybe more.”

“Lordy, lordy, lordy.” He set his other flipper to his head. “Ladies ask me back all the time. Never thought you’d follow the line.”

Magallan rolled her eyes. “Then stop holdin’ out on me, Empy.”

“Alright, then. Tonight’s the night.”

“Alright!” Without warning, she picked him up and began twirling. “You don’t wanna know how long I’ve been waiting, baby.”

Emperor flapped his flippers rapidly as if he could slow his spinning down this way. “Whoa, whoa, I getcha, I getcha, but I’m gonna retch if ya don’t quit twirlin’!”

“Sorry!” She straightened out as she let her radial momentum dissipate.

“It’s fine, you’re excited.” He shook his head with a chuckle. “We’ll go whenever you wanna.”

Maggie chirped happily. “We’ll let them have a little more time...and then you’re all mine for the night.”