#I spent a full minute trying to figure out what they meant

[thr-333]

Raph:  It’s ok Donnie you get to sleep in

Donnie: ....

Donnie: what am I sleeping in?

Everyone: ...

[itoshiexx]

WHEN YOU'RE MAD AND USE THEIR FULL NAME

how the blue lock boyfriends react when you're mad and use their full name

pairings: isagi yoichi, nagi seishiro and itoshi sae x gn!reader (separate) | warnings: little arguments, angst if u squint, reader is kinda hot headed? lol, mostly fluff and the boys wanting to be in your good graces.

notes: did i kick depression in the ass to finish this? not really. but it worked, and here i am! this is my nagi seishiro debut omgggg hopefully i did him justice and he's not too ooc. also new design for the scenarios to match my theme. enjoy, lovelies! let me know if you'd like especific scenarios and send me an ask :)

masterlist

ISAGI YOICHI

yoichi hoped he would die. 

really. 

it’s the least he deserved for making you angry — even more so because he didn’t know what made you angry in the first place. he spent the last fifteen minutes excavating his mind to try and remember what could have ticked you off so much that you don’t even wanna look at him.

he hates it. isagi needs your eyes on him, needs to hear your voice and touch your skin. and with the way you’re so silent and distant, he might be just like a man in the desert without water.

“baby,” he looked at you on the other end of the couch, intently watching the tv show in front of you.  just a glimpse would make him breathe again. just a nod would ease his nerves. hell, he would even take a glare, as long as you were looking at him.

but he got nothing. zero. nada.

“baby, please,” he tried again. “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to make you mad.”

you furrowed your eyebrows, but still didn’t spare him a glance. he sighed.

“i’ll never do it agai—”

“do you even know why you’re apologizing, isagi yoichi?!” you asked, exasperated. your boyfriend froze on the spot when hearing his full name, because of course he didn’t. 

as far as he knew, you were having a great day together. he bought you breakfast from your favorite bakery, you made a delicious lunch and then you two went out shopping. he even gifted you with a beautiful necklace after an enthusiastic shop employee offered to show him some pieces—

oh.

“you got jealous of the saleswoman?”

“blah blah you got jealous of the saleswoman? heck yeah I did!” you impersonated him with a high pitched, sarcastic voice that showed just how mad you were. “she was all over you, yoichi, and you didn’t do anything!” 

he swallowed thickly, daring to approach you on the couch. he hugged your frame, despite the crossed arms in front of your chest making it a little hard.

“i’m sorry, darling. i didn’t even notice she was being inappropriate because you’re the only one i pay attention to. and i always figured people would never dare be so bold if you’re by my side and we’re clearly together.”

his sweet words coated you, making you glance away, knowing that looking at his puppy eyes would end you for good. 

“you should have done something anyway.”

“i know. i totally should, and i’m sorry i didn’t. i never meant to make you feel bad or let people disrespect you.” he rested his chin on your shoulder, breath shuddering right on your ear.

the sincerity in his voice was enough to chip away your anger, and you visibly relaxed in his embrace. yoichi held a breath of relief, knowing he still had to be careful.

“i’m sorry, baby. it won’t happen again. forgive me, please?” he placed a sweet kiss on your cheek, and god, how could you keep being mad like that?

damn isagi yoichi and his genuine blue eyes.

you uncrossed your arms, embracing his instead, and finally looked at him with love again.

“fine. but just because you’re so charming, ‘ichi.”

he chuckled. “you’re the charming one. i’m totally under your spell, darling.”

and when your lips met, yoichi hoped to keep living just to have more of you.

NAGI SEISHIRO

people would often ask him if his detached, nonchalant persona ever got in his way through his life. seishiro would always say no, because everything and everyone he did care about understood his lazy way and inability to do… pretty much everything.

that didn’t mean he never made the effort, though. as much as nagi liked to live like a sloth and just go on with his life playing video games, there were still things in his life that were worth it. like football. his friends. and you, of course. 

ever since you met, seishiro discovered that being with you wasn’t a bother. and after he fell in love and you became a couple, he found himself eager to indulge you, even if it meant going out of his way. his friends congratulated him and expressed genuine happiness to see how much he improved, and that, along with your beautiful smile, filled his heart with joy. 

however, no matter how much he tried, he was still…

“nagi seishiro.” 

a shiver ran down his spine with the sound of your voice, and not the good kind. he had never heard you sound so stern, so angry, so… disappointed, even. enough to leave a sour taste in his mouth. so much so he immediately lifted his eyes from his console, only to find your harsh gaze.

“ehh? wha’ did i do, angel? don’t say my name like that,” he pouted, crawling towards your body splayed on the bed. 

even when you tried to fight his embrace, nagi took advantage of his large frame to engulf you and lay his head on your chest, so you wouldn’t walk away in case you got any angrier.

“babeeeee,” he whined, hugging you tighter.

“let go of me,” you said, and he just shook his head. “you deserve it. you weren’t even listening to what i was saying, were you?”

what a hassle. he really wasn’t listening, but… well, he got way too focused on beating the last boss. could you really blame him? 

he heard you scoff. “oh, my bad, i should have known it was the last boss. it’s more important than me anyway, right, nagi?”

fuck. fuck. fuck. did he say that out loud? he sounded like a dick. you had every right to be mad and call him by his full or last name. 

nagi lifted his head from your chest to look at you, feeling his throat tighten with the sight of your teary eyes. guilt gnawed at his chest when seeing how upset and frustrated you were. 

“eh, ’m sorry, pretty thing. i got too caught up ‘n didn’t notice you were talking t’me.”

“am i that invisible to you?” a tear almost rolled down your cheek. seishiro shook his head, a little more exasperated than usual. 

“huh? ’f course not, angel. y’re never invisible. all i see is you. y’re the most important to me,” he held eye contact, and even though you wanted to tear your gaze away, seishiro’s eyes were more magnetizing than ever, even if your view was a little blurry.

you knew your boyfriend wasn’t the type to lie, since he always claimed it was a hassle. you knew you were important to him, but his lack of consideration still hurt. 

“i’ll apologize as many times as you wish. ‘m sorry for not listening and making you feel bad. i never wan’ you to feel bad, pretty thing.” 

nagi used his strength to roll around and switch your positions, in a way you were on top of him instead. he started caressing your hair in a soothing motion, making your eyelashes flutter. “y’can talk as much as you want. i promise i’ll listen t’you.”

your eyes welled with tears for a different reason, and you hugged the striker as hard as you could. even if he faltered, seishiro never failed to make up to you and make you feel loved.

“promise, sei?”

“promise.”

ITOSHI SAE

although sae wasn’t exactly smart in the emotions field, he always knew when you weren’t happy with something. you scowled, huffed and rolled your eyes, keeping an eerie silence that was only broken when absolutely necessary. 

at that moment, he was sure you weren’t happy with him.

you both kept to yourselves while still at the event, masquerading any problems for the cameras. sae had a hand at the small of your back and he could feel how stiff you were. the midfielder wouldn't admit that seeing you so uncomfortable around him made his heart pang.

at the limo, the path to your shared penthouse was quiet, and you brushed him off when he tried to hold your hand. sae could only stare at his window with furrowed brows, itching to dissipate this awkward atmosphere. he never liked when you were mad, especially at him.

he expected some sort of explosion when you got to your apartment, but you kept your glaze off him, trying to walk to the bedroom for your night routine without even sparing him a word. 

nuh-uh. that wouldn’t do. 

he held your wrist before you could go, and lightly pulled you so that you were facing him. your eyes widened with the sudden movement, but narrowed as soon as landed on his face. 

“why are you mad?”

you scoffed. the audacity of this man. 

“you know exactly why i’m mad, itoshi sae.”

shit, the government name? you were really fucking angry.

“i wouldn’t be asking if i knew,” he answered, immediately regretting it when you glared at him, as if saying that wasn’t the right answer. “i-i mean… i didn’t realize what was wrong, amor.”

you walked closer to your boyfriend, making him release your wrist. despite his typical stoic face, sae was clinging to your every word.

“itoshi sae, you can not talk to your little brother like that!” you nearly growled on his face, surprising him. “you were very rude and condescending, and that’s no way to speak to rin!”

he frowned. you were mad because of rin? the little green monster inside of him threatened to grow, but he forced him to stay put. sae didn’t want to anger you further, so he simply let his hands slither to your hips, pulling you closer to him.

“i don’t think i was rud—” you lifted one eyebrow, and he rolled his eyes. “fine. i might have been kinda harsh.”

��and?” you crossed your arms.

he sighed. “i will apologize.”

“i’m serious about this, itoshi sae. i will ask rin—”

“i’ll tell him i’m sorry, okay? no need to keep talking about rin.” he interrupted, palms traveling to your ass while he nosed your neck. he planted a small kiss under your ear, huffing a minty breath that made you shudder. sae smirked. “and no need to keep calling me by full name, either. what happened to ‘cariño’?”

you held onto his biceps for some grounding, but still didn’t budge. 

“you weren’t very sweet today, so it’s not fitting.” 

he pouted while hiding in your neck, taking full advantage that you couldn’t see him, but was quick to withdraw to face you once again, touching your noses. one of his hands cradled your jaw, and you sighed with the pathetic effect your boyfriend had on you. 

“perdóname, amor?” he whispered against your lips, eyes sincere like you knew he could be. your poor little heart could never resist him when he was like this, rarely vulnerable and eager for you.

you gave a long exhale, arms moving to tangle around his neck. and folded.

“as long as you make it right, mi cariño.”

© 2024 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.

[corroded-hellfire]

Reading AYW things has me thinking about Eddie and Reader sniffing baby Eliza right after they bring her home and she’s got that fresh baby smell and Luke and Ryan are like “what are they doing?”

-cj. @cheesewritings

Just out here fueling my own baby fever. Please enjoy some lil baby Eliza 💕

Words: 1.2k

[As You Wish masterlist]

Less than a month has gone by since you’ve given birth to your and Eddie’s baby girl and yet so much has changed. Your hormones still give you mood swings from time to time. Eddie feels a bit more tired than usual between being up at odd hours of the night and trying to make sure you and Eliza are being taken care of while still keeping Ryan and Luke’s normal weekly routine going. The boys dote over their baby sister, but their sleep has definitely been impacted as well by the high-pitched wailing that comes just down the hall every night. One morning at breakfast before school, Luke fell asleep with half of his face in his bowl of Corn Flakes. 

But every small discomfort is well worth it to have the most beautiful baby girl you’ve ever seen. Her eyes already threaten to be as wide and doe-like as her father’s and you know you’ll be in deep trouble then. The soft wispy baby hairs on her head are similar in color to Eddie’s and her eyebrows have the same arch as his. Eliza absolutely has your nose and lips though. Your husband swears it’s as if God copy and pasted the features right from you to your daughter. Whenever she smiles though, you see her brothers. It may still be gas for her at this age, but the smile that upturns her pretty pink mouth is the spitting image of what you see on the faces of your sons. Munson charm in full effect. 

Evenings have been the most unpredictable so far. Will Eliza be awake? Asleep? Hungry? Fussy? Happy? Content? Not to mention what Eddie or the boys will be like.

Tonight is a good night, though. The boys are down the hall playing video games in Ryan’s room, and you and Eddie are cuddled up on the couch, Eliza snuggly cradled between your arms. Spider-Man is playing on the television, but you’d both forgotten about the movie the second that your daughter woke up, about fifteen minutes into the superhero flick. 

“Oh, look what a big mouth you have!” you coo as your daughter releases a tiny yawn, as if she hasn’t spent most of her day sleeping. You envy the hours of rest infants need. 

Eddie gazes down at her adoringly and the love shining in his eyes threatens to have your heart burst right through your ribs. It’s no secret that he’s always wanted a daughter and it’s still dizzying to think that you’re the one to give that to him. 

Soft, gurgling baby noises come from the baby’s mouth as she looks back and forth from you to her father. Both you and Eddie chuckle when she lifts her small arms above her head, then on the way down stops to stick her tiny fingers in her mouth. 

“God, she’s perfect,” Eddie muses, and you’re not sure if you were meant to hear it or he was just thinking aloud. Either way, he’s right. Every little thing about her has captured your heart. 

Slowly, Eddie leans forward and presses his lips to her soft forehead. 

“And she smells so good,” Eddie adds, making you giggle. 

“I know!” you agree. “What is it about that new baby smell?”

Gently, you lift Eliza so her head is more level with yours and Eddie’s. As one, you both lean in and inhale the scent wafting off your daughter. The baby doesn’t seem to mind, but it looks like she’s trying to figure out what you’re doing by the way she keeps looking at you. And she’s not the only one.

“What are they doing?” Luke mutters to his older brother from where they stand off to the side of the hallway connecting the living room to the rest of the house. 

“Smelling her,” Ryan answers with a shrug.

“Uh, why?” Luke furrows his brows as he watches the scene on the couch in confusion.

“Seeing if she needs a diaper change? I don’t know,” Ryan says.

“But they’re smiling. No one would ever smile around one of Eliza’s dirty diapers,” Luke says, having plenty of experience to back up that claim. 

“Maybe they washed her hair,” Ryan offers with another shrug. “I don’t know, I guess she just smells good.”

Luke’s quiet for a moment before he tilts his head up to look at his brother.

“Do they ever smell you?”

“No,” Ryan says with a sigh, this conversation already exhausting him. 

“Do they smell me when I’m not looking?” Luke asks, more rhetorical this time. 

“Yes, we all do,” Ryan goads. “We’ve been meaning to talk to you about taking more baths.”

The younger Munson boy glowers at his brother and stomps past him into the living room.

“Um, does she smell?” Luke asks as he approaches the couch.

“Yeah,” Eddie says, looking up at his son with a grin. “She’s got that new baby smell. C’mere.”

He gestures for Luke to lean in and smell the top of Eliza’s head. The boy does and when he pulls back, he’s smiling.

“She kind of smells like cheese.”

The words make you giggle, and you lay your head on your husband’s shoulder as Eddie cradles Eliza against his chest. 

“Ryan! She smells like cheese!”

“What?” Ryan asks as he walks over. 

“Yeah, but like actual cheese. Not a Cheeto or the stuff in a can.”

Ryan frowns. “Didn’t you just eat a whole bottle of Cheez Wiz yesterday?”

“You did what?” Eddie asks, raising an eyebrow at his youngest son.

“I said it wasn’t real cheese,” Luke says to Ryan, ignoring his father completely. “Not that it wasn’t delicious. Now smell,” Luke urges him.

Ryan gives his little brother a skeptical look, but when you give him a reassuring nod, he leans in and sniffs her hair.

“It’s like…baby powder. But…I don’t know, fresher?” Ryan isn’t sure how to describe it, but he certainly doesn’t think cheese is the word he’d use. 

“Do all babies have it?” Luke asks as he takes a seat next to you.

“Most do,” Eddie tells him. “You both did.”

“When did I lose it? Or do I still have it?” Luke tries to yank one of his curls straight so he can get a good whiff of it, but to no avail. 

“It goes away after a few weeks or months,” Eddie says.

“What causes it?” Ryan asks.

Your husband smiles and you can tell he loves the boys asking him these questions. He’d sit here and talk to them about Eliza—or anything, really—all day. 

“I don’t know, pal,” Eddie says. 

“It’s like new car smell!” Luke adds. 

“But better,” you say, poking his tummy in his most ticklish spot. He giggles and squirms around at your side. Once he’s calmed, Luke slumps against your arm and watches Eliza fuss a little in Eddie’s arms.

“Even when she loses that baby smell,” Luke says, poking you in the thigh with a small bony forefinger, “I hope she grows up to smell like you and not Daddy.”

Eddie’s jaw drops open as he turns his head towards Luke. You want to make some sort of witty remark, but you can’t think of any. Plus, you’re laughing way too hard to speak. 

[lockburn-castle]

the city of love

synopsis in which dokyeom proposes to yn in Paris pairing nonidol!lee dokyeom x gn!reader genre fluff warnings dk being anxious, a small part about cabarets, terms of endearment/petnames, kisses, reader wears a dress, that's all i can think of (do let me know if theres more) word count 1.9k

playlist cant help falling in love marry you

notes: been loving romcoms for a while and decided to write this story based on what id like my proposal to look like HAHAHA hope yall like it !! p.s. 10 things i hate about you is one of my favourites <3 do give me more ideas for fics in the cmmts or send me an ask !!

As Dokyeom paced around the room, his mind raced with a whirlwind of thoughts. The suitcase in front of him was half-packed, clothes neatly folded, but his thoughts were anything but organized. The idea of proposing to you filled him with both excitement and anxiety. He glanced at the bag of balloons he’d slipped into his luggage, a reminder of the grand plan he had meticulously crafted for a few months now.

“What if they don’t say yes, hyung?” Dokyeom fretted, pacing around their room as he packed for the trip with Y/N. His phone was on speaker, and he were calling the group for some last-minute advice.

“Have you seen the way they look at you?” Seungkwan’s voice came through, trying to sound reassuring. “I’m pretty sure they’ll say yes.”

“If they say no, can I steal them from you?” Dino joked with a laugh. “They make amazing cookies.”

“Not helping,” Dokyeom mumbled, nervously folding another shirt into their suitcase.

Dokyeom's fingers brushed the edge of the velvet ring box, its weight a tangible symbol of his hopes and fears. “I just hope everything goes smoothly. What if all this effort is for nothing? They might leave me.”

“Don’t worry about all of that,” Jeonghan advised gently. “Remember to have fun. Trust the plan. Everything will fall into place if it’s meant to be.”

“And don’t forget to pack the ring,” S.Coups chimed in with a grin that Dokyeom could practically hear.

Dokyeom took a deep breath, nodding even though no one could see him. “Alright, I think I’m all packed. Let’s hope everything goes according to plan.” He muttered the last part.

Everything had gone surprisingly well so far. You and Dokyeom had talked about this trip to Paris for years, but something always got in the way. Now, finally, both of you were able to take a seven-day leave and make it happen. The city felt like something out of a dream — timeless, and full of hidden wonders.

On the first day, after landing in Paris, you both felt the excitement settle in as you headed straight to the Louvre. The enormous layout of the museum took your breath away as you went inside, surrounded by art from all around the world. Walking hand in hand, you wove through the maze of halls, pausing at famous works like the Mona Lisa and Winged Victory of Samothrace.

When you reached the sculpture Psyche Revived by Cupid’s Kiss, you both stood in awe. The way the marble figures intertwined seemed almost too lifelike, as if they were frozen in a moment of affection. You couldn’t help but admire the way the light bounced off the smooth stone, highlighting every detail. Dokyeom’s arm hugged your waist as you both took in the beauty and history surrounding you.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” You whispered, eyes fixed on the sculpture.

Dokyeom nodded, a small smile on his lips. “Yeah, but you know what’s even more beautiful?” He turned to look at you, his smile widening.

You rolled your eyes playfully, nudging him gently. “You’re such a cheeseball.”

“I mean it, though,” he chuckled, squeezing your hand. “I still can’t believe we’re here. Together.”

In that moment, surrounded by art and history, everything felt perfectly right.

You spent more time at the Louvre than planned, snapping tons of photos for Instagram and for your own memories.

On the second day, you and Dokyeom decided to explore the Montmartre, starting with the stunning Sacré-Cœur Basilica. The white domes stood out against the sky, offering an amazing view of Paris below. Inside, the intricate mosaics shimmered in the light, creating a serene atmosphere as you took in the stunning architecture.

After leaving the Basilica, you strolled through the nearby Place du Tertre, a lively square filled with the buzz of street artists and their easels. You and Dokyeom sat down to get your portraits done, soaking in the lively atmosphere. The atmosphere was vibrant, with the sounds of sketching, laughter, and conversations blending together into a perfect Montmartre experience.

After a delicious lunch at a little café, you both headed to the Musée d'Orsay. There, you found yourself captivated by masterpieces from artists like Van Gogh and Monet. Each painting seemed to pull you into its world, and the museum’s elegant interior only enhanced the experience. The two of you wandered through the halls, taking in every detail of the beautiful works of art.

As evening approached, your excitement began to build. You were about to experience the legendary Moulin Rouge, a cabaret show in Paris you’d heard so much about. Dokyeom, always full of surprises, had secretly bought tickets for the famous venue. As you arrived, the bright lights, vibrant costumes, and captivating performances whisked you away to a world of entertainment you had only dreamed of. Checking "watching a cabaret show" off your bucket list felt even more magical than you had imagined.

By the third day, you decided to slow things down, spending the afternoon at the Champ de Mars for a picnic, with the Eiffel Tower looming gracefully above. You both laughed as you watched tourists pose dramatically in front of the landmark, feeling content in your own world together. Later, you took a scenic cruise along the Seine River, the water shimmering in the late afternoon light.

The two of you returned to the hotel room early to prepare for a special dinner at the Eiffel Tower, a night you had anticipated with excitement. You had chosen a stunning white Chanel mini dress, its chic simplicity accentuated by black off-shoulder sleeves that framed your shoulders gracefully. A delicate ribbon, adorned with a Chanel camellia, cinched the waist, adding a touch of timeless elegance. The soft glow of the evening light made the fabric shimmer subtly as you moved.

Dokyeom had chosen a new suit to complement your outfit. His classic black and white suit was impeccably tailored, with a simple yet elegant Chanel brooch pinned to the lapel.

“I had to pick out a new suit to match you, you know,” he said with a playful smile. “And I didn’t want to risk being turned away because of the dress code.”

“I'm glad though. You look handsome as always.”

After taking some photos on the balcony, you headed out to the restaurant. As you were about to leave, Dokyeom asked you to wait outside while he spoke with the concierge.

You were puzzled by the request, but when he returned, he explained that he had arranged for extra towels and soap to be delivered to your room. You didn’t think much of it and continued your way to the dinner venue.

The both of you indulged in a long-awaited culinary experience at Le Jules Verne, a restaurant you had been eager to visit ever since seeing it in Murder Mystery 2. Dining high above Paris with panoramic views of the city, the experience was as unforgettable as you had hoped. The sophisticated atmosphere and exquisite cuisine made it a perfect end to a delightful day — or so you thought.

Back at the hotel, Dokyeom asked you to close your eyes. He gently guided you into the room, covering your eyes with his hands.

“Close your eyes.”

“What are you up to? Don’t do anything silly; this dress is expensive!” you chided, knowing he might do something playful.

“Relax, I’m not doing anything stupid. Are they closed?”

“Yes, kyeom, they are. What’s going on?”

“Keep them closed. I’ll let go now.”

He removed his hands, and you heard him shuffling things around. “Okay, you can open them now.”

You slowly opened your eyes and took in the breathtaking scene before you. Rose petals were delicately scattered from the entrance of the hotel room, leading to a heart-shaped arrangement in the center, where Dokyeom stood, enveloped in a sea of petals. He held a bouquet of roses, their vibrant colors contrasting beautifully with the soft light of the room. Silver balloons floated on the windows, their reflective letters spelling out “Marry Me?” Your heart raced as you took in every detail, feeling a wave of emotion swell within you.

As you stepped further into the room, Dokyeom moved to stand within the heart of petals, his eyes full of love and nervous anticipation. He handed you the bouquet, his hands trembling slightly, then knelt down with a deep breath, pulling out a ring box. Your breath hitched as you saw the ring — its diamond gleamed with a brilliance that seemed to capture all the warmth and love in the room, shimmering with every flicker of light.

“Dokyeom…”

“Y/N, love, these five years with you have been the most incredible of my life. You’ve been my rock through every high and low, my constant when everything else was uncertain. I can’t imagine a future without you, and I want to continue building that future together. I want to create more memories with you, face every challenge side by side, and share every joy. My love for you is beyond words. Will you marry me?”

Tears welled up in your eyes, spilling over as you nodded, your voice choked with emotion. “Yes, of course I will. I love you so much.” You extended your left hand, and with a gentle, reverent touch, he slid the ring onto your finger. The moment felt suspended in time, the diamond’s brilliance reflecting your shared happiness and the promise of a future together.

“Okay, thank God, because my heart was pounding and my knees were killing me,” he joked, making you laugh as you admired the ring.

“I had it custom-made.”

“Really? It’s perfect,” you said, turning your hand to catch the light. The ring’s elegant design and intricate details made it feel even more special. “I love it.”

“Yeah. I thought you’d like it more this way. I had fun designing it and made sure to include all the details you love,” he said, as you admired the diamond sparkling in the moonlight.

“Thank you, Dokyeom. This has been absolutely amazing.” You looked at him and gave him a kiss.

“Let’s take some pictures!” you said, grabbing your camera.

That night, after posting some photos on Instagram, your phone buzzed incessantly with congratulations and likes. But you barely noticed, wrapped up in the comfort of late-night snacks and your favorite movies, nestled beside your new fiancé.

“By the way, how did you pull off that incredible surprise?” you asked, gazing at Dokyeom with curiosity.

“Well, the concierge is a secret weapon,” Dokyeom said with a mischievous grin. “They’re like fairy godparents for tonight. I think they were so charmed by the proposal that they didn’t charge me a thing. They said it was the sweetest thing they’d ever seen — except maybe the time a couple asked them to help with a proposal on a gondola in Venice. ”

You laughed softly, feeling a rush of warmth and affection. “I love you, Dokyeom,” you said, your voice soft as you gazed into his eyes.

“I love you too, Y/N,” he replied. He gently pressed a kiss to your forehead, a gesture that made your heart swell even more.

In that moment, surrounded by the soft glow of the room and the cozy comfort of each other’s presence, everything felt perfect.

You had always thought people exaggerated when they called Paris the city of love. But experiencing it firsthand, you couldn’t agree more.

[cherryredcheol]

domestic bliss

tldr: seungkwan just wants to live with you (this is pure fluff)

a/n: happy belated boo!

seungkawn wandered into the kitchen from the living room, wrapping his arms around you from behind and placing a gentle kiss under your ear, “need any help?”

you shivered at the feeling of his hot breath on your skin, continuing to stir the stew on your stovetop, “no, boo. i just need to finish cooking, then everything will be ready.” 

you couldn’t see it but seungkwan beamed at your words. he was so excited for his two best friends to come over. vernon and chan had met you plenty of times, you and seungkwan had been a package deal since the moment you started dating two years ago. but they had never been here. in your apartment, which seungkawn viewed as his second home, his safe place. 

although it wasn’t his home, there were traces of him everywhere in your apartment. his slippers always waiting for him at the door for when he arrived, pictures of the two of you on the walls, his favorite flavor of ramen in the pantry, a drawer full of his things in your bedroom. he didn’t live here but you were here, so he was too. 

“boo?” you turned around in his arms, looking away from the stove for a minute.  “can you get out bowls and chopsticks for everyone?” and when you looked at him with those soft eyes, who was he to say no? 

“sure.” he placed one last soft kiss on your cheek, loving the way the skin instantly heated under his touch. he decided not to tease you about it but instead let you go to turn to the cabinet where you kept the bowls. he was setting up the table when he heard the front door to your apartment open and booming laughter filled the small space. 

“yah!” he cried after following the sound and seeing his friends standing in your doorway, “you let yourself into my partner’s home without even a knock? how rude!” vernon and chan looked sheepish after his scolding. 

“hyung, we’re not trying to be rude. they told us to let ourselves in!” chan explains, pointing to you as you walk through the door to greet them and figure out why seungkwan was yelling. 

you giggle and hug each of the boys telling them it was fine they let themselves in. “i made kimchi jjigae for dinner and it’s just finished so come eat it before it gets cold.” your turn to walk away and the boys follow, unable to resist a home cooked meal.

after everyone had enough food, you began cleaning up the table, insisting on doing the dishes so the boys could hang out. the movie playing on the tv was pretty good, seungkwan was distracted though, thinking about how much he loved that his two best friends were in your apartment for the first time, and hopefully not the last. he loved that you had welcomed them into your home with open arms and treated them so kindly. 

“hyung? why don't you live here?” vernon pulled seungkwan from his thoughts and the question made him blush. truthfully he didn’t know why he didn't live here. he supposed it was because you never asked and he didn't want to be too forward. he knew you liked your personal space and didn't want to intrude. 

“yeah, seungkwan. why don’t you live here?” you repeated vernon’s question entering the living room and sitting next to him on the couch. he immediately pulled you closer, wrapping an arm around you on instinct. 

“you never asked!” he argued back, blushing a deep shade of red. 

“i gave you a key and said ‘bring your stuff here.’ how much more clear can i be? when you only brought a few things over i thought that meant you weren’t ready to live with me so i never pushed it but i’m curious.” you were mostly teasing him but you did want to know why he didn’t want to move in, considering he spent most nights at your place anyway. 

“i didn’t know that’s what you meant!” he was flustered now, not expecting to have this conversation tonight or with his members around. 

he was still blushing when you turned to him and said, “seungkwan, move in with me?

it was the easiest answer seungkwan had ever given, “yes”

[skrrts]

strawberry cakes (oneshot)

✧ gn!reader x park seonghwa ✧ genre: non idol, slice of life, fluff, engaged ✧ word count: 1,8k ✧ warnings: food/eating

After the most adorable proposal & your graduation, Seonghwa and you are ready to start the journey to plan the wedding of your dreams: maybe you do not have the greatest budget but isn't it normal for all couples to make use of the free wedding cake-tasting?

a/n: this came to mind when i saw hwa's new Instagram post yesterday. it's kind of inspired by one of my drabbles but you can totally read it without having read that one and maybe one day i will write the wedding to go with it T_T

After graduation and moving together, starting your first job, Seonghwa and you both spent a few weeks going through budgeting. With your small savings and the little your families added (insisting it was what they should do), it was obvious that you really would get the small wedding you two dreamt of but it also meant, cutting a little on corners that you likely would have enjoyed to invest more in. Not that it was tragic, but your aunts all were amazing bakers and you had no doubts, you had to worry less about them volunteering to help with a buffet, baking a few things so you could put that money in the most important cake of all.

After going through the options, Seonghwa and you settled down with one specific bakery that really seemed lovely, based on photos and reviews from other couples online. They even were in your budget if you decided to go with one of their less decorated cakes but your fiance had the idea that you really should make the most out of the cake testing which would mean plenty of free sweets.

"You really dressed the part," you chuckled as Seonghwa was cutely posing in front of you, grinning. "Well, we two are stunning, they will easily take we are some rich picky couple. The story of us being torn between an aesthetical or minimalistic wedding will be the perfect excuse why we end up with a smaller kind of order if we go for them."

His arms curled around your figure as he placed a kiss on top of your forehead. "You really have no bad feelings for stealing cake from them, don't you?"

Your man looked just a little innocent: "I'd not say we steal. After all, we go there with the actual intention of hiring them. I would more say, we take the same right as all of those other couples, the full experience."

Oh, how could you not think he was the sweetest?

"Of course, of course. Well, if my outfit is approved of by my very wealthy husband-to-be, I'd say we are good to go?"

Seonghwa stepped back as you playfully posed for him but he gave you the kindest of smiles, the spark in his eyes ever so present. He never stopped looking at you like this, if anything, his admiration seemed to grow, sometimes making you feel just a little shy.

"You are the most beautiful person in the entire universe for me," he whispered, pulling you close and kissing you lovingly. "My star," Seonghwa cupped your chin and your cheeks were likely as red as a strawberry at this point.

"If you keep going like that, I am not sure we will make it there because I might melt into a puddle," you joked and he laughed. "Fine, let's make sure we get to eat all of the free cake first."

Seonghwa gently took your hand, squeezing it as you made it to the car.

The café wasn't too far away, barely a twenty-minute drive and a very friendly-looking lady already expected you. The place was closed on Sundays but more so to invite in couples to try their cakes.

"You two are beautiful, I already can see it, an outdoor spring wedding with your loved ones," she clapped her hands together, quite excited. "Strawberries will be in season then, such a good choice. I have prepared six different cakes I believe would fit beautifully."

She rambled on while leading you to a small table with a lovely decoration. Seonghwa pulled the chair back for you to sit down at, you gave him a soft smile before he took the one next to you.

"So you said you are aiming for a more minimalistic but elegant cake?" she opened a file with the information you had to fill out online ahead of the appointment.

"Indeed," Seonghwa used what you liked to call 'his business voice' when he was not cute but looked like the hot guy everyone wanted at their office and he was more discussing business than wedding cakes.

"As you said, we have planned a Spring wedding, my family has this lovely traditional property," he continued and you were glad the woman served some coffee because it was hard to stay all serious. Seonghwa and you worked with a budget and his uncle's small Summer house had a lovely garden close to the river. It was far from modern but it seemed perfect for your own wishes and other locations were quite expensive.

"We have been together for quite some time and we care more for traditions and values rather than to leave a great impression on the media. This is why we have chosen your cafe. The cakes are lovely with such a unique design," he concluded and the woman was more than thrilled to hear this.

"Mister Park, count on us. If you decide on one of our cakes, you will receive the one of your dreams."

With that she pulled out photos, showing you different concepts from more detailed ones that had price tags you two automatically knew were out of the question to two that seemed promising.

"I really like this one. The details are lovely but not too ... sappy. Would it be possible to maybe have a few smaller bites like cupcakes to go with it or something similar? We could place the cake in the middle surrounded by them;" you asked although you regretted how you did not bother to look up names of those things, only focused on cake.

"We are quite keen on the strawberries," Seonghwa chuckled, squeezing your hand which he had been holding the entire time.

"Oh yes, absolutely! I will give our baker a small call, maybe she can send an example. Would you like to try the different variants meanwhile?"

Your fiancé's eyes sparkle: "Oh yes, of course. Please do take your time."

He kept it together until a platr was served with four different combinations of fillings for the cake as she excused herself. Seonghwa was eager to pick up a fork and carefully picked some of the first slice, offering it to you, a hand placed underneath to ensure it wouldn't slip off.

"You look an awful lot excited, Mister Park," you teased but leaned in, accepting it. He was pleased to see you obviously enjoying the taste, covering your mouth with a hand.

"Of course I do, I have the most lovely person next to me while picking the cake for our wedding," he hummed before also trying some of it, making a face. "This reminds me of the overpriced cake I had during my trip to Paris when I learned only later how I spent my entire budget of a day on a cake."

You chuckled, taking a spook to offer the second option to him: "Ah yes, that infamous trip with Hongjoong for your graduation. I am relieved you two made it back home, based on all that happened."

Seonghwa blushed a little but he leaned in, accepting the spoon. The moment you were about to lean back, he pulled you in and sealed your lips into a kiss.

You didn't even have time to gasp when you were kissing softly, tasting the remains of the strawberry cream on Seonghwa's lips. Your heart was beating loudly when your arm curled around his neck. Sometimes, it was still hard to believe you were about to marry this man. Now the times when you were reading college books while he was lying in bed next to you, snuggled onto your side while playing Animal Crossing felt like a lifetime ago.

You couldn't wait to see how it would change over the years, all the new memories. As his spouse.

"I love you, so much", he whispered and his big eyes looked at you full of love. You bit your lip: "I love you too, Hwa."

There was no more time when the woman returned with an iPad in her hand: "How about those? Very popular in France right now and they would go lovely with any cake."

Seonghwa quickly had another bite from the slice as you looked at it: "I love them, what do you think love?"

He was quick to nod: "Ah yes, I enjoy them as well. I believe, around thirty should do." It was the moment where the two of you hoped this wouldn't be too costly: "Of course. As we are unable to provide an example here, we would ensure to send you a photo together with the calculated costs and you can make your final decision then."

At this point, Seonghwa was casually eating the testing slices while you listened. You admired how he pulled it off without the woman even realizing he likely ate the entire thing, unlike most other couples who only cared to try them out.

You had picked up one of the fresh strawberries.

"With fresh ones from the season, it will be amazing." Seonghwa finally finished and licked his lips, leaning back, his long legs crossed: "Absolutely. We are quite content we would love to work with you. Would you be able to provide everything by the time of October?"

You sipped on your coffee, ignoring how Hwa had eaten three of the slices.

"Absolutely! Do you have a favorite for the filling?"

You two glanced at each other, somehow you forgot the most important part: Choosing one. Yet, it proved once more just how perfectly you matched: "The Second."

The woman seemed confused, blinking at the almost empty plate in front of her but she did not comment on it. A few more details were discussed before the two of you left half an hour later without paying a single thing.

"Your family's traditional property huh?" you laughed as held each other's hands, swinging your arms a little.

Seonghwa grinned: "Well, you always liked our short breaks there and my uncle now seems adamant to put effort into it after I told him we would love to use the large gardens for the wedding."

You were excited about it, no matter how modern the building would be. All you could think about was to make this man yours, officially and all for once. You never thought of yourself as somebody caring a whole lot about weddings but now, you looked forward to it.

Seonghwa stopped, embracing you as your foreheads leaned against each other.

"This is where I ask the question you will glare at me for," he begins.

"Oh?"

Seonghwa's little pout warned you that his question was about to be silly.

"So we did not talk about the wedding toppers..." Of course, oh you should have thought of it. You couldn't hold back the laugh: "Are you really asking me if we can put those little animal crossing figures on top of our cake?"

Your boyfriend grinned: "Well, they played a crucial part in our engagement."

"How could I forget about that?" you hummed. The two figures received a special place in your new living room. Ah, he was still so silly and you loved him for it.

"Well, guess we are going to save some money there but you will have to explain this excited lady how exactly they fit into our traditional family wedding."

The one you couldn't wait for.

[mindless-existence1]

just saw your requests open! I really loved the tokoyami one you did, so can I request the first time reader caught tokoyami in a molt? fluffy + romantic, maybe the reader has a feather wing quirk so they help tokoyami

I have been waiting for motivation to write this but I'm so glad you requested it!

Authors note: This is gn reader with no specified quirk (so sorry wasn't sure how I wanted the quirk to work out so I just left it to the imagination) no beta read we die like men. Hope you enjoy!

REQUESTS OPEN PLS SEND! REQUESTS OPEN FOR FLUFF AND KINKTOBER AS WELL!

This is the link for Reader x Tokoyami Preening Feathers.

It was a normal day at UA, it was the weekend which meant a rest day for class A. Some people were in their dorms while others were in the common room or out and about around town.

You had been hanging out with (people of your choice) for the past few hours but hadn't seen your boyfriend all day. He had been acting weird this last week and when he didn't come to you first you had assumed he wanted to be left alone.

You gave him his space but the day was almost up and he hadn't left his dorm at all. The only glimps of him was when he dash to the bathroom and was back in his dorm in a minute.

You wave goodbye to your friend(s) planning on going to your beloveds dorm. Once you made it to the door you were quickly stopped by noneother than Dark Shadow. They peeked their dark head under the door and poked out. "Oh hey Dark Shadow, can I come in?"

You asked politely with a wave downward. The shadowy figure shook its head and retreated back under the door. The denial of your request took you by surprise, the shadow loved you coming over. Same with Tokoyami, you spent the majority of you time together so why would they refuse now?

You knock again this time a bit harder incase Tokoyami is asleep and DarkShadow is just fooling around. "Fumikage? Can I come in please?" You call out with no response except some shuffling from inside the room.

This worries you and you start to try the door know hoping it would open. Luckily a few days ago the lock broke and has yet to be fixed so yiu were able to open the door part way. "Fumikage?" You call out curiously taking a step into the darker than normal room.

A light crunch comes from under your foot causing you to move away and look down. When your eyes finally adjusted you were met with dozens of feathers covering the floor. They black feathers were scattered across the whole room centering around Tokoyami's bed.

Atop the bed was a pile of blankets you assumed to be your boyfriend. "Babe? Are you alright, what happned?" Your voice was full of worry as you closed the door and took another small step forward. "Darling I apologize but I ask that you please go."

Tokoyami's voice was muffled under the think blankets but that didn't muffle the desperation dripping from every word. "Fumi I'm not leaving when I'm worried so please tell me what's wrong." You are basically pleading now, only a few steps from the bed awaiting a response.

After a beat of silence you hear a incoherent mumble come from under the blankets. "What Fumi?" You ask. "Molt." Is the only word the comes fron the pile of cushions. It takes you a second to understand, Tokoyami had told you this was a possibility but he never had it happen before.

"You're molting? I mean are you ok?" Urgency prominent in your voice, you had to make sure he wasn't in pain before you dealt with anything else. "Yeah, just uncomfortable." Tokoyami's voice is weary and soft.

With a sigh of relief you ask, "Babe can you please come out from under there?" Your voice soft and gentle hoping to coat him out from under the make shirt nest. It takes a moment but the blankets slowly start to move. Tokoyami pushes himself into a sitting position facing you.

His feathers are in clumps and you can tell some are bent, others look loose and ready to fall out. "Oh honey..." Tokoyami keeps his eyes downcast towards his hands, a tell tale sign he's uncomfortable/embarrassed.

"Is there anything i can do to help?" You cautiously ask the poor man infront of you, cupping his face with one hand. He shakes his head slowly, "you shouldn't have to see me like this." His voice sounded weary but his actions defied his words when he leaned his face into your hand.

"I just want to help you feel better." Is all you say, not wishing to push him too much but knowing he needed help. He seemed to battle something in his mind for a minute before letting out a heavy sigh. "I... please?" He finally looks up at you and despite not being able to see bags under his eyes you can tell he's beyond tired.

"What can I do?" He takes a moment before responding. "I'm unable to mess with the feathers myself so could you just..." His voiced trails off, not sure what he was asking for but you understood. "Yeah, want to lay your head in my lap so I can see what I'm working with?" You move to sit on the bed in a better position.

He nods his head and moves around a bit till his head is resting in your lap and you are sitting with you back on his bed rest. Before you can attempt to help the mess on his head Dark Shadow wearily comes out and wraps around your mid section. "Oh hello Dark Shadow." You say cheerily. The shadow doesn't respond but keeps himself wrapped tightly around you.

After he doesn't move for a minute you go back to the tired man resting on you. "This might be a bit rough at first." You say pulling out your phone and taking a minute to skroll through some articles in molting practices. Tokoyami just let's out a small hum and chirp, already falling asleep.

It takes you about 5 minutes of research to feel like you have enough knowledge to do a semi good job grooming your boyfriend (pause that sounds so weird 😭). The hand not on your phone has been massaging Tokoyami's head, careful to not pull at any of the mats or loose feathers.

By the time you set down your phone Tokoyami is almost fully asleep. "Ok Fumi' I think I got it." Your voice is queit as to not disturb the sleeping shadow wrapped around you and the almost asleep biy on your lap.

"I'm sure you'll do great," His words are slurred with slumber. "Thank you sweetheart, I love you." His voice turns into a mumble as he falls into a deep sleep but the sentiment isn't lost.

With a smile on your face you begin running your fingers through the soft feathers. They catch at the loose ones and you carefully let them fall but are careful to not tug on any. You go slow as to not hurt your boyfriend, each move deliberate.

Tokoyami stays asleep for a long while, only hums and chirps come from his sleeping form. Dark Shadow on the other hand awakens much earlier. Although he isn't as energized as he normally would be in such a dark room.

You spend the night watching videos and massaging the sleeping boys head. Eventually you fall asleep as well, curled up with Tokoyami.

[obsessivestar]

'What If It's All A RomCom?' - a Ted Nivison x Reader.

!! This is Chapter 3! Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 can be found here! If you'd like to be here for the next part, ask to be added to my taglist! It'd be my pleasure ♡ !!

{{-Story Description: You're a youtuber with a fairly decent following deciding to help your good friend Tanner with a minor film project, with you set as the leading lady. When the actor for the male lead is a no show, Ted takes up the role himself. One problem: This short film's a Rom Com, and you just met the guy.-}}

//18+, Def gonna be some smut. Reader is implied to be afab, under 5'5 and has specifically named friends, all who have no real connection to Ted.

This story will be in multiple chapters. Also gonna post this on Wattpad and Ao3 (when I figure them out LMAO) under the same username: ObsessiveStarla. Hope you enjoy :^)\\

☆▪︎▪︎▪︎Taglist!▪︎▪︎▪︎☆

@k-k0129

☆▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎☆

Word count: 3.5k

Chapter 3: My Eyes Are Up Here

The first day of shooting the film finally came and went. We had spent most of that afternoon figuring out what every character's wardrobe would be like and making sure everything on set looked good on camera. If any furniture needed to be moved, we moved it. Paintings were taken down or added, blinds were closed or left open, overrall it felt like the first day was about preperation. While I had thought we'd get at least some filming done on the first day, it actually worked out well. It gave Ted an entire day to go over the script with Tanner, and Joe the entire day to play the role of my father, demanding I stay away from bad boy Ted. I mean that sarcastically. Mostly sarcastically.

The plot of the film is almost similar to our real lives: We're supposed to be a bunch of adults out of college trying to hold on to our youth while spending their last summer together at some...summer house. There's a few extras that are meant to be playing our friends, but the main focus is on the relationship of Ted and I; our characters, I mean. At the end of the first day, everyone part of the film crew leave to sleep at their own accommodations except 5 of us. Ted, Myself, Tanner, Joe and another member of the editing team, though I don't learn his name tonight as he spends the entirety of it in his assigned bedroom. Joe had offered to get me a separate Airbnb when he realized I was the only one staying here that didn't identify as a guy, but I'm not uncomfortable with these arrangements. I have a lock for my assigned bedroom if need be, but I have no reason to distrust anyone else that will be spending the next 3 weeks living here.

The first night passes with no problems from anybody, except from Ted. He started knocking on my wall around 12am. Took a good couple minutes and a quick Google search to realize the fuckass was knocking 'cunt' in Morse code. He stopped shortly after I messaged him a picture of my middle finger being held up at the same wall.

The next morning i'm involved in a few scenes with some of the extras first so I can get a real feel for being on camera in this light, which also gives Ted time to read over the script in another room. In the film, my name is supposed to be Kara, and he's Mason. Tanner picked simple names. Ted looks like he could be named 'Mason'. The scenes go by fairly quickly, doing the necessary repeats to get multiple takes and angles, standard procedure when filming. I find myself to be quite a natural at this sort of thing. Other than the occasional stammer, I'm able to speak my lines and act the part with little to no difficulty. No bloopers just yet.

Next thing I know, morning turns into noon and we're having to move outside to take advantage of the last bit of full sunshine we'll have for the day, including Ted, who will finally be joining me in front of the camera. Like Ted had explained yesterday, we'd been filming a lot of the scenes out of order, this one included. At this point in the story, several days have passed, and our characters have already shared their first kiss, so our chemistry needs to be on point to make it believable. We need to act like there are some real, lingering feelings for one another while keeping it subtle. It was actually challenges like this that made me agree to take the leading lady role. I could've easily been one of the extras and only have a page or two to read off of, but I wanted to explore true acting, not just pretending.

I can't say I'm inherently a romantic. I'm certainly intrigued by how romance in film was handled decade's ago compared to now and I'd absolutely invest myself into a romantic comedy of the 90's or 2000's if one was turned on in front of me, but I didn't sign up for this to play pretend with a handsome guy. I want to explore the trials and tribulations of this cheesy kind of storytelling I'm a sucker for. I want to see if I'm capable of bringing chemistry into one scene, then slipping it into my pocket for the next as if it were never out there.

My thoughts are cut by Tanner and Ted meeting me and the rest of the crew outside, with the script still in Ted's hand. He's still in the white t-shirt they fitted him with yesterday, changing his slacks into some dark blue jeans. He looked pretty good in jeans.

"Okay, so we wanna get some establishing shots.." Tanner explained to us, Ted moving to come stand beside me. "We're gonna get some of the extras to toss around a football and sort of...run around, get some shots of them playing. You two are gonna go stand over by that post and just...talk..." He pauses on that last word, as if to really emphasize it. "Just talk?" Ted repeats, raising both of his brows with a smile. "I don't like the way you hesitated there, my good man."

"No, I mean--"

"I feel like you're trying to imply something, good sir."

"Yeah, Tanner. He can talk to the 'pretty lady'." I pitch in with a knowing smirk, getting a look from Ted. "We won't need an intimacy coach just yet."

"No, I get it.." Tanner chuckles slightly. "What I was trying to say is now might be a good time to talk about what your 'tell' is going to be, if you can't think of anything to talk about."

I furrow my brows in confusion, silently looking to Ted for an idea of what that is. He looks equally confused. "Our 'tell'?" I ask.

"Yeah, for when you have to kiss." Tanner replies, pointing at Ted and I. "We can't just count down from three and shout at you. It has to feel natural, so if you have a tell, a non-verbal way of signaling that one of you is going in for it, it makes it...realistic and saves up some time."

I suppose the way Tanner explained it make sense. It makes me think back on a moment in Stranger Things. There's a scene at the end of Season 2 where everyone's dancing, and you can just barely see Finn Wolfhard's mouth move before he goes in for a kiss. He had mouthed 'I'm coming in' or something like that to Millie and it's noticable in the final shot they went with. Tanner wanting to avoid that is completely valid.

"OK. No problem." Ted was the first to agree with a casual shrug, turning to look at me. I give a quiet little nod in return. "Where should we go stand?"

"Just over there would be perfect." Tanner pointed over by the large empty flagpole in the distance, a bit farther away from the rest of the extras. "I'll just be a little more to the left with the film crew, I'll give you a. O.K. signal just before we start filming so you know when to start and I'll shout 'cut' when we're done."

"Sounds good to me. Let's go." Ted beckoned me to follow, heading towards the flagpole.

I'm walking somewhat behind Ted, blushing a little to myself as I take in just how much taller he is than me. He's definitely at least a foot taller, maybe more. I'm only noticing it now. I wonder how tall he is?

"It's 6."

I stop walking for about a second, almost wondering if Ted had somehow read my mind. "What?"

"It's 6 kisses. I counted."

"O-Oh." I giggle a little to myself, crossing my arms over each other to rub them with my hands. "You counted them? Did you even read the script?"

"Better than you did! How do you over count kissing?"

"I counted 7!"

"You added one in, you fuckhead."

"Why the fuck would I add one in? What, you think I was enticing you with an extra kiss, asshole?!" I move up a bit to stand beside him as we walk, just so I can playfully nudge his arm. "I counted 7!"

"You fucking wish, princess."

"Ooghh, you fucking wiiiish!..." I start to mock Ted's strong voice again. "You're projecting. Maybe you under-counted."

"How about you under-count how cute you think you are, huh?" Ted snickered to himself, nudging me back a little harder. "We're supposed to want to smooch it up more once we get to this pole, I need to be able to stay in character."

"That sounds like a you problem. I can stay in character, even with your headass."

"I am going to stick you up on that fucking flagpole, princess. One more."

"Stick--" I pause and close my mouth, resisting the urge to burst out laughing. "Stick deez nuts down your throat."

Ted and I erupt into laughter, almost getting a little hysterical. I leaned forward and hugged my stomach while Ted flung his head back. I'm sure at least some of the others could hear us, our laughter was practically echoing out. We knew we had to come down from our laughing fit when we reached the flagpole, letting out a few more cackles and giggles. I lean back against the large flagpole, it's wide enough for me to push all my weight on it without shifting one way or another. From here, we can see that Tanner was still talking to the film crew as they mess with their large cameras. I'm having to squint and raise my hand up to cover them from the sun's bright, harsh rays, though I smile to myself. I'm glad I agreed to help with this.

"How much longer, do you think?" I ask Ted, watching as Tanner moved over to a different cameraman. Before Ted can answer me, I see Tanner turn to us and raise his arm up high. I can just barely make out the O.K. symbol he's doing with his hand. Next thing I know, the sun's rays are no longer over me. Did some clouds move over it, or...?

I turn my body, only to stiffen it up against the flagpole, almost like I'm trying to push my body into it. Ted is now completely towering over me, only being held up by his forearm resting above my head against the pole. He's crossed his legs somewhat, so if he were to remove his arm, all of his weight would come crashing down on me. "You feelin' alright there, (Y/N)?" Ted's grinning like an absolute winner, keeping his dark brown eyes on me as he removes his round glasses and rests them atop his head. I feel like his eyes could be replaced with the red laser of a sniper, and I'd be just as tense.

"Wh-Why are you--"

"Ohhh, nothing sassy to say now, eh? Where's more deez nuts jokes, hm? Where's being an annoying little cunt?"

Before I can create a coherent response, I feel another one of his hands move closer to me. Ted rests his hand right on my forehead. "You're burnin' up, princess. Did you pack some sunscreen? Gettin' real red over here.."

Something about the way he's bullying me is making my stomach twist. His tone, his words, his smile....

I try to turn my head away to get his hand off my forehead. It works, but his hand moved down to the side of my chin, gently pushing it to the side to make me face him once more.

"My eyes are up here, baby."

I glare daggers right back at him. I can't tell if he's actually flirting or if he's just fucking with me 'cause of yesterday. Both are plausible.

"Y'know this isn't helping your case." I collect my composure enough to speak plainly.

"What case?" He asks with a snicker.

"The case where you don't think I'm a pretty lady."

"I don't. Tanner said I need to act like I'm into you, so I'm acting like I'm into you."

"You're a terrible actor."

"I act for a living."

"You make YouTube videos for a living."

"Well, I'm good at pretending to like you, so.."

Ted's earthy orbs linger on me as he removes his hand from my chin. I'm not sure what I'm feeling at this moment. Is it embarrassment? Is it uncomfortable? Am I...intrigued? Interested, even? The way he speaks to me, it's just...

"Sh-Shouldn't we be discussing what our tell is going to be?"

"St-St-St-Stammerin' up a storm over here.." Ted mocks my stutter, his confident grin becoming even more annoying to me.

"You're not funny.." As the words leave me, I realize I've been smiling a little at him.

"What, and you are?"

"I mean it! I--"

"Woww, you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, princess? All that knockin' bothered you?"

"I'm gonna knock you into this fucking pole if you don't shush. I meant about the tell." A chuckle escapes me. "He's gonna want to know what we've come up with. Any ideas?"

Ted let's out a gentle sigh, finally pulling back to stand beside me against the pole instead. I feel like I can breathe properly again. "It's gotta be subtle, yeah?" Ted asks, crossing his arms. "I believe the term Tanner used was 'non-verbal', but yes." I cackle a little. Tanner has a certain way of speaking that's rather amusing. He's one of those friends that are naturally funny, whether he's intending to be or not. "Something that, if picked up on camera, would make sense in the moment.."

"Like a wink?" Ted asks. I turn my head to him, watching as he gives the most non-subtle wink I'd ever seen a man give me. A chuckle leaves me. "More subtle...like..." Thoughts about how the kissing scenes are shot wander through my mind, where the camera may be at any given moment, whether or not there will be a close up. It needs to be as non-verbal as possible; the most subtle way a person can signal to another that they want to kiss them.

"...Like...a quick look at the lips."

"Like a quick little one-two?" Ted asks, moving his eyes from my lips to my eyes to give me a physical demonstration.

"Yeah. I'm sure people do that when they're about to kiss someone."

"You're 'sure'?" Ted's smile drops, his change in expression suggesting he's nervous. "Oh man, don't tell me I'm about to be your first kiss.."

"Oh fuck you! I've had my first kiss! I'm in my 20's!" I laugh at him, watching as he let's out a sigh of relief. "I've had several kisses with several other boys, thanks!"

"Wowww, okay, first of all, kissin' the bro's is different." Ted points his finger at me, trying to appear serious with his lips tucked in a bit. "Second of all, boys? I'll have you know you'll be kissing a MAN, (Y/N). A fully grown 26 year old man!"

"What happened to the 'man' that was supposed to put me up on the flagpole, hm?"

"I basically already did, and you turned into a tomato."

"My feet didn't even leave the ground."

"Were you expecting me to pick you up? Cause I can do that!"

"Oh please, looks like the heaviest thing you ever carried was a Tuba."

"Okay, fuck you, I was in theater, but I can throw a mean ball and could absolutely carry you."

"You think so?"

"Absolutely."

"Try it."

Ted raises a curious brow at me and turns his body towards me once more. For a moment, I thought I saw his eyes wander downward, but our moment is interrupted by a shout, though it's not from Tanner. Right before my eyes, like time moved way faster than I was ready for, Ted had moved around me to stand in front of me to catch a fast-moving football. His back was close to me, in fact, this was the closest he's been to me so far. Though for only a brief moment, I could feel his white shirt slightly caress the tip of my nose as the wind blew. He smelled like...pine trees.

"Dude!" Ted shouted at the extras as he threw the football back. He may not have been a jock in high school, but his form was pretty good.

His. His football form. Y'know, like, not--not his--

I think that football would've hit me if Ted hadn't reacted as fast as he did.

"Jesus..." Ted huffed before turning to me again. He noticed how tense I had gotten, reaching to touch my arm. "I'm sorry, I didn't back up into you, did I? You alright?"

"I-I'm alright.." I managed to mutter back. It was odd hearing his voice sound so concerned for me. Up until now, most if not all of our interactions had been full of sarcastic, tyrannical but overall light-hearted jabs at each other, but in this very moment, I realized we may have unintentionally developed something here. I'm not saying it's necessarily romantic, but...there's a tension building up between us. It's not just in my head, is it? Does he feel it too? Is that why he's?...

"That...works too." Tanner catches up with us, alongside the man that had thrown the football. I didn't even realize they had been approaching us.

"What, did you plan that?" Ted turns to Tanner, sounding quite frustrated with him. "That could've hit her."

"Dude, I'm so sorry, I messed up my throw..." The man next to Tanner spoke with a genuine frown. "I-I meant to throw it higher up and hit the pole, the sun blocked my view. It's my fault."

"No, I told Dan to throw it, I'm sorry." Tanner speaks up as well, his hands resting on his hips nonchalantly. "I've been shouting at you two for, like, a good minute. I thought it would've been funny if Dan hit the pole.."

Ted and I are silent. Oh fuck. How long have they been trying to get our attention? How did we not hear them? I can tell Ted still isn't satisfied with the answer. Angry wasn't a good look for him, I don't think it's a good look for anyone.

"We need to buy you a whistle.." I manage to get out a joke, smiling to show everyone that I wasn't upset. I knew Tanner hadn't meant for anyone to get hurt. He probably trusted this 'Dan' to make the shot. Tanner wouldn't hurt a fly. He /would/ hurt a spider, though. He hates those things. "Yeah. Clearly." Tanner chuckles slightly, slipping his hands into his shorts pockets. "I'm really sorry."

"I'm okay, Tanner. Teddy's got me." I move away from the flagpole to place my arm on Ted's shoulder, leaning against it somewhat. I think my attempts at showing him I was OK finally worked, watching as he looks down at me with a friendly scoff. "I should've let it smack you in your stupid face." He remarks, finally bringing some of the tension from that altercation down. "Maybe, but at least I believe you now." I smile at Ted, moving my hand off his shoulder. Dan apologizes one last time before moving to rejoin the extras. Tanner let's us know that we'll be moving back inside to check on the shots before returning to the cameramen to help pack up. Ted and I start walking back to the house, though he pauses for a moment.

"What do you mean you 'believe me now'?" He asks, furrowing his brows while smiling. "Believe what?"

I give him a cutsey smile and reply simply.

"That you could carry me."

I walk a bit ahead of him, feeling the weight of my cheeks from how wide I'm smiling to myself. I hear a quiet scoff from Ted, though the rest of the walk is quiet.

After a few minutes of packing up and walking, we all return inside to look over the footage and set up for other scenes the extras will be filming. Now is the time we let Tanner know that we've figured out what our 'tell' is going to be. I look over at Joseph in the meantime, who's across the living room helping an extra with adjusting their outfit. As Ted explains the idea, Joe shoots me a look, furrowing his brows like I had just disobeyed a direct order. I return the look with a shrug. He's just going to have to deal with it. Tanner absolutely loved the idea, said it would add 'real intimacy' to a scene if he caught it on camera.

I suppose that's it, then. If I'm ever going in for a kiss, I'll look at Ted's lips to let him know.

__________________________________

|| Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 (smut) || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 (smut) || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Chapter 14 (smut) || Chapter 15 ||

[leifyposting]

Rosaria is not usually this transparent.

She isn’t Barbara, who wears her heart on her sleeve, or Jean, who does not count lying among her many talents. She isn’t even Kaeya, whose intricate masks and careful dissembling only hold up as long as the wind doesn’t blow too hard.

Rosaria is impassive, unreadable, barely even there. She’s spent enough years learning how to let people’s eyes slide right off her. It turns out that you can wear fishnets and claw rings and people will still let themselves ignore you if you give them the right excuse.

But she has been drinking, tonight — not quite to the edge of tipsy, but close, right on the line where the lights are warmer and the wine is sweeter and the chatter of the bar patrons tips from grating to almost melodic.

And so maybe she lets her eyes linger, just a little, on the broad back and flaming hair of tonight’s bartender. 

No one would blame her if they caught the way her gaze flits over to him and away, one stolen glance every couple of minutes. Diluc cuts a dashing figure in his bartender’s uniform: all straight lines and stark contrasts, his red hair bright against the white of his vest. He carries himself with a quiet composure born of physical power and a bank vault full of cash. Half the people in this tavern have been ogling him all evening; she’s still not sure if he’s truly oblivious or willfully blind. 

As she watches, he slides a drink over to the Traveler at the end of the bar, waving away the offer of payment. He wipes down the counter with a practiced hand before tossing the cloth over his shoulder once more. Then he turns back, and Rosaria doesn’t look away quite quick enough to stop their gazes from catching and holding. 

Diluc’s gaze burns like the embers of a campfire, low and controlled, but with the promise of destruction unleashed. For a long second, he watches her watching him. 

Then he smiles. 

It’s a different smile from the confident one he gives her in the middle of the night when they’re on a manhunt, or the rueful shouldn’t-have-let-my-guard-down grin he sports when he’s taken an injury he should have been able to dodge. 

This smile is small, meant just for her: the corner of his mouth quirks up, boyish and almost shy, and for a moment Rosaria catches a glimpse of the young man who’d brought Mondstadt to its knees. 

He’s so godsdamned pretty it makes her throat tight. Despite her better judgement, Rosaria finds herself smiling back. 

She suppresses her smile as soon as she registers it — but Kaeya has always been too perceptive for his own good. 

“Playing with fire there, Rosaria,” he murmurs once Diluc turns away. He leans an elbow on the bar counter and fixes her with an unreadable smile. 

“What do you mean?” she asks evenly, taking a swig of her wine.

Kaeya looks unimpressed by her attempt at deflection. “Falling in love with him is a bad idea.”

“I’m not in love with him,” Rosaria says. She realizes too late that this too is a confession. She ought to have asked who he meant; she’s shown her hand too early.

“Sure,” Kaeya says, serious for once. “But you’re getting there.”

“Am not.”

He shakes his head at her. “I wouldn’t get too close, if I were you. He burns everything he touches.”

Kaeya was her first real friend in Mondstadt. She knows what Diluc did — in broad strokes, if not in detail. It definitely makes her a bad friend that she likes him anyway. 

Kaeya’s lone visible eye tracks Diluc’s movement as he weaves his way through the bar, clearing tables. “The thing is, he doesn’t mean to,” he says, his voice low and almost affectionate. “He tries so hard, you know? He’d try, if you asked him to.”

“I’m not asking him shit. There’s nothing going on between us.”

“He just always ends up destroying things anyways,” he continues as if she hadn’t spoken, his fingers tracing lines of frost on the condensation of his glass, his eye still fixed on the back of Diluc’s head. “It tears him apart, but good intentions don’t restore what’s been broken.”

He looks back at her. For a moment she thinks she sees wildfire flames licking at the deep blue of his visible eye, before they resolve into the gentle glow of the lamps that light the Angel’s Share. “I know you’re not going to listen to me,” he says, and smiles mirthlessly. “You can make your own decisions, of course. But be careful, alright? I’d hate to see you hurt in the course of protecting Mondstadt.”

It’s the wrong thing to say. Rosaria knows it as soon as it leaves his lips. 

Because no matter how bad Diluc is, Rosaria is worse. Kaeya has forgotten that frost burns too. 

Diluc is a fine, upstanding citizen, the uncrowned king of Mondstadt. Rosaria is a scrappy orphan at the mercy of the Church. Diluc has a bent for justice and a mission to take care of the weak. Rosaria only knows revenge.

Kaeya forgets — or ignores, because he is a good friend, and he cares for her in his own way — that Rosaria deserves nothing but destruction and pain. Everything she has received from Mondstadt has been at the cost of its citizens. She owes a debt she can never repay; if she takes some injury in the course of protecting this country, it will simply be what she deserves. 

She lays a hand on Kaeya’s arm and watches him jolt. “Getting burned is part of the job.”

“Of protecting Mondstadt?” He sounds skeptical. “The nation has never asked that of you.”

She raises an eyebrow at him. “Someone’s gotta do it. Don’t act like you haven’t sacrificed for Mondstadt too.”

“Oh, I won’t pretend I haven’t,” he says lightly. “But I’m a hedonist, you know — I’ll always pick pleasure over pain.”

She laughs, opting not to call him on this obvious lie. “I guess that makes me a masochist, because I don’t care if I get hurt.” 

“I care,” he mutters, then sighs. “Look, you’re a grown-up. If you want to flirt with the sun, I won’t stop you. I just reserve the right to say ‘I told you so’ when your wax wings go up in smoke.”

“I’ll be careful,” Rosaria promises. 

(Across the tavern, Diluc laughs at something Venti says, low and rolling and resonant. The eyes of half of Mondstadt follow the sound, and Rosaria has never been one to go with the crowd, but in this and this only—)

Kaeya rolls his eyes, shrugging her hand off his arm. “No, you won’t.”

“No,” she agrees, and grins. “I won’t.”

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Can't believe I've never asked this, but how would the townspeople react to the farmer having a baby (With the idea that they've already been here a while so they are an established member of the community).

Maybe when they are pregnant and when they've had the baby if it's not too much? (Especially if it happens to be their grandchildren)

I have to admit, I had to translate the question several times because I was hella confused. Spent about 10 minutes trying to figure out if you meant a Farmer who already has a baby (like, 2+ years old) or a Farmer who just had a baby (just being born/adopted), or the fact that Farmer came to town with a child and the child is already a full-fledged member of the community, or.... I feel dumb, I'm sorry... Hope I understood the question correctly, dear anon.

I'm not going mention pregnancy to make the Farmer without a specific gender (everyone can imagine their own Farmer). I hope that's okay with you, or feel free to ask the more specific question again. I will also write in this hedcanon exclusively non-marriage SDV candidates. Hope it's alright too! ❤️

_________________________________________

Oh-ho-ho! You can't hide anything from the moms and gossips of the Stardew Valley. Caroline and Jodi have already told each other everything in great detail: how cute the baby is, how happy the parents are. If it so happens that the child is their grandchild, their joy will not be limited - they already dream of the days when they, already as grandmothers, will spoil their grandchildren and coo over them.

After arriving home, Kent couldn't remember the last time he smiled sincerely. The only people who could see his smile were his family members, and that was rare. So when Kent saw the little baby laughing in Farmer's arms, he smiled so broadly that his wife and sons were even startled for a moment. In fact, the sight of the cute little baby reminded him of Sam and Vincent when they were just as little. He was grateful to both Farmer's baby and Farmer themself for helping him remember a quiet life, it was those memories that allowed him to get back on track a little faster with his beloved family and community.

Robin will be calmer than her friends, but will also be endlessly happy for Farmer when they have a baby/adopt a child. As a woman with good experience of motherhood, she will help the Farmer if they have difficulties with caring for the baby or just give some useful advice if they ask for it. And watch out if it's Robin's grandchild - she'll spoil them with wooden toys she makes herself, and she'll be a cool grandma in general.

Don't let it fool you that George is grumpy because small children are very loud, interfere with the TV and are on their way to inadvertently break a tea set in the cupboard of his house. George loves children, and if it's Alex and Farmer's baby, he'll just melt with sentimentality. He still can't believe he's lived long enough to call himself a great-grandfather..... Hear that, suckers? He's now a proud great-grandpa with the best grandchildren and great-grandchildren!

There's a baby in the Farmer's family? And Pierre just happens to have the best baby food in the store, and at a great price, plus ten percent off. All the best for a baby! .....What? Okay, okay, don't give him that look. He may be a businessman (albeit a "slightly" desperate businessman), but he's not completely insensitive. He's actually happy for Farmer and their partner that they have a long-awaited child. He's even happier that Farmer's partner happens to be his daughter Abigail. The "businessman" Pierre is relegated to the background, so the first place will be taken by "grandpa" Pierre, who is just very caring and gentle with kid, and maybe a little overprotective.

And who do we have here? Hehe, such a cute baby, they are very similar to Farmer, the same energetic, running around looking for adventure and problems. Oh, don't look so angry at Lewis, he's just joking. The Farmer has long been a full member of the Pelican Town community, and he will also happily welcome a new little member as well. At such moments, he feels proud of the position of mayor. Just please keep an eye on the baby, because they will definitely be troublemakers, just like the Farmer themself. What? Don't look at him like that, he's absolutely right!

Heh, how happy the old fisherman's eyes are that there are already many young people there in their small town. Usually all the young families with children go to the big cities to look for happiness, but Willy is glad that the Farmer has found their happiness, and family, right here. His heart will melt at all if the Farmer's child becomes interested in fishing, just like their parent once. Considering that he treat Farmer almost like his own child, it's safe to say he now has a grandchild.

No one would have thought that Demetrius, after learning that Farmer had a baby, would have such a small bout of paranoia. Since Farmer is a frequent visitor to their home, knowing that they would be visiting with the baby, Demetrius decided to remove all sharp and glass objects from the lab, as well as some of his wife's sharp tools. And the concerns for the baby's safety will be even greater if it's his grandchild. And he will be equally concerned and paranoid if it is Maru's or Sebastian's child. So don't let Sebby say that his stepfather doesn't love him: he does, but it's hard for him to find common ground with him. But he will show concern for his safety to everyone.

It doesn't matter to Evelyn that the Farmer's baby arrived by midsummer, the caring grandmother has already sewn almost a dozen different sweaters, scarves and mittens for the Farmer's baby as gifts. And it doesn't matter if it is her great-grandson or not, she will treat them with the same love and care, and will always be happy to see them and Farmer in her home. What a saintly granny, nothing to add, bless Yoba for her good heart!

Well, as if Marlon and Gil knew in advance that the Farmer was about to have a baby, as they recently stopped by the Guilds and gave the reason why they wouldn't be able to temporarily handle the adventurer's duties. Farmer had served the Valley well, protecting it from the monsters that lurked in the mines, so the old adventurers quietly let them go and wished them, their partner, and the baby happiness. Maybe when their child grows up and behaves well, Uncle Marlon and Gil will show them their collection of weapons, or tell them different stories about their adventures.

Yay! More people to play with! Jas, Vincent and Leo are excited to have another person in their company for tea parties and outdoor games. And that's all they need to be happy.

Hmm... A new addition to their family? Ah, yes, Rasmodius remembers that moment too, when he saw the Farmer's future. Though, to be honest, he saw other developments that bothered him greatly, for it included his ex-wife, strange statues, and a prismatic shard... But he was glad that Farmer had chosen this fate, though outwardly it would appear that he didn't care at all about the lives of the people of Stardew Valley. If child will show an interest in magic, feel free to visit his tower anytime. And no, he won't be giving their child that moss and fly agaric potion, so please stop looking at him so suspiciously.

Oh, how wonderful that Marnie's friend had a little happiness, and the Farmer sometimes brings this little happiness everytime they goes to visit her at the Ranch. Such a wonderful baby, she is sure that they and Jas will become wonderful friends in the future. Of course, she loves her niece and nephew (who sometimes behaves like a child too), but sometimes she would like to know what it's like to be a mother. Well, at least know what it's like to be loved. What? No no don't think anything like that, Jas and Shane love Marnie mutually, she just means SOMEONE, and she hopes that SOMEONE finally gets up the courage and confesses her feelings openly. Isn't that right, Mr. SOMEONE?

[luneinary]

This is under the assumption that Kaito purposefully omitted information about the hangar , which I'm sure of because literally nobody knows what happened in there, but yeah I was thinking... it would not do him, nor anyone else any good for him to walk up to everyone post-trial and be like "yeah Kokichi wasn't evil and did all of this to try and save us actually" (even if he did believe it or somehow that came straight from Kokichi himself) because it just wouldn't work .

Kaito's belief can only go so far, (as in, not everyone has his affinity to place so much trust in someone, AND ALWAYS BE RIGHT, especially not in Kokichi considering the circumstances)

and nobody believed in Kokichi except for Kaito, (albeit everyone was well within their right to not have the most positive opinion of him even in death) and the only time he could do so was moments before his death . Putting aside his pride -- something he often couldn't even do for the two closest people to him -- and a long-term rivalry for this poisoned, sickly boy who was entrusting him with his life .

Kaito was his legacy; whatever happened in that hangar dies with them alone .  Kokichi could've very well died afraid and in pain, but as long as Kaito had a script, and an exisal- he was this selfish, vindictive puppetmaster masquerading about the trial with little care for who gets caught in the crossfire, so long as he gets to stare down the mastermind and claim that he had won. The survivors will never Kokichi's true intentions; they're meant to take what they saw at face value. With no way to prove anything definitively there are infinitely many truths they could possibly believe in . Anything could've happened . This is what makes Kaito- the thematic embodiment of faith and trust- the one to carry out his plan so significant.

In my opinion, for him to go into explicit detail about what was said and done in the hangar- to relay the full truth- would be to dishonor Kokichi . Whatever happened in the hangar, if they had spent their final days alive there fighting, talking, or maybe even just being honest and vulnerable,  nobody needed to know .

But I also think about Kaito's internal turmoil that came with watching Kokichi devise a crime scene while slowly succumbing to poison . They're both in pain , on borrowed time -- they're just kids and it's miserable . The situation that they were in left them at their lowest after weeks of pretending that they were untouchable . Forced them to confront their mortality and their weaknesses . He has to watch the almighty Ultimate Supreme Leader struggle to even breathe . Minutes before putting him to death for a plan that he will never know was actually successful.

Kaito couldn't act heroic or offer any platitudes --there wasn't a need for that, not when Kokichi could already see right through him-- and lord knows what Kokichi "I Don't Have a Guilty Conscience" Oma felt after driving the both of them into this stalemate which lead to Kaito dragging him by an open wound on the floor . Chapter five really just put the two most emotionally unavailable people in the worst possible situation and told them to Figure It Out.

And Kaito really just . had to take all of that to his grave . Told everyone not to cry for him, send him off with one last smile !! Smiles moments before his death because he entrusts Shuichi and the people he loves to end the game, that maybe all of those hours of pain he and Kokichi endured in that hangar could actually be worth it .

Or maybe I don't have a full understanding of the guys yet *shrug*

[oliveisme533]

My dad’s neighbor is a dilf

Chapter 4

Joel Miller x You

Summery: You had decided to spend your summer in Austin with your dad. You used to spend almost every summer there, but hadn't spent a summer there since you were a teenager. Which means you hadn't seen a certain Joel Miller in years..

Warnings: abusive ex is back. Verbal abuse and physical violence (not against reader)

You roll over in your bed with a groan and stretch your arms. Grabbing your phone you check the time 10:03. Early for you. You decide to hop in the shower before your dad can ask you to help pick up fallen branches in the yard from last nights storm. You let the scolding water hit your body and you draw in a deep breath. Tomorrow was Monday which meant your dad would be back to work and you wouldn't have anyone to talk to or hang out with until 5 o'clock. Rinsing the soap from your face you contemplated just what to do with tomorrow, in fact you were beginning to wonder how to make use of your summer in general. The last couple weeks of doing nothing had been a much needed reprieve from your busy life, but you were starting to get a little stir crazy. You turned off the water, still deep in thought when you heard your phone buzzing. You tiptoed over to your bedside table and saw Joel's name lighting up the screen. "Why is he calling me?" You pick up the phone ...

Hello Hey sweetheart didn't wake ya did I? No no I've been up...for a few minutes (Joel chuckled) Well hey listen, one of my coworkers was looking for a sitter for tonight. He and the Misses are going out and their regular girl can't make it. Any interest in an easy job for the night? Oh yeah I can definitely do that. God know I've got nothing else going on. Okay I'll send you the info! Thanks darlin'

Obviously he wasn't calling just because he wanted to chat with you. It was a stupid thing to even hope for. The rest of the day went by relatively slowly, but when 6 o'clock rolled around you put some snacks in your back pack, a phone charger, and a book you had been trying to finish for several weeks now. The babysitting was easy. It was one kid, she was four years old and for the most part did whatever you asked. The parents told you they would be out late so when 11:45 rolled around you weren't surprised they hadn't come home yet. The house was quiet...too quiet. You never much liked this part of being a baby sitter. It was different when you did it for Sarah. The millers house was always warm and full of life. Those nights when Joel did get home a little later you felt safe curling up in on his couch with the TV on. Most of the times you would fall asleep like that and Joel would drive you home the next day after making you and Sarah breakfast. You smile at the memory. The sounds of the house settling are enough to snap you from this daydream down memory lane. "Fuck I really don't like this huge, quiet house. What if I call someone to keep me company. Dad will be asleep, so would mom and my sister. I bet Joel Miller is awake..." you stare at your phone and contemplate this next move. "Fuck it" you mutter and tape his name. The phone only rings a couple of times before you hear Joel's husky voice. A twinge of guilt shoots through you as you fear you've woken him up.

Hello? Everything okay? Hey, yeah I'm so sorry did I wake you? I was just restin' my eyes that's all. I ain't in bed yet. Well I just- I really don't like being in these houses all by myself. It sounds stupid but it's kinda scary I guess. 'S not stupid. You want someone to talk to-keep ya company? Yeah... and I figured you'd be awake still, but I guess I figured wrong You're all right honey, I really don't mind. I needed to get off this couch and sleep in my bed any how. But how 'bout you tell me about your day? My day was pretty boring honestly. I played with the cat, ate some ice cream and watched TV Wat'd ya watch? Love island What in the hell is that?

You laughed and proceeded to tell him all about the show. A little while passed and then you heard the lock click and knew the parents were home. You told Joel you had to go to which he responded "alright let me know when you get home safe. Can call me if you want." Back home you pondered whether or not you should call Joel. It was late and you were feeling tired, but you wanted to talk to him. After slipping into your pajamas you felt like you could hardly stay awake much longer, but you were determined to take advantage of this invitation from Joel to call him. So you tapped his name and watched the phone ring. You put it to your ear and your heart sank with each unanswered ring. When it went to voicemail you resolved that he had likely fallen asleep and you decided to do the same.

The next day you woke up early (ish) at 9:00. Your dad had already left for work. You roll over in your bed to check your phone and your heart pounds.

Missed call from Joel Miller 36m ago

You're hoping he's not at work yet and call him back quickly. "Hey sweetheart" he picks up within a few rings. "Sorry I missed your call last night. I ended up falling asleep and didn't hear the phone." It was so nice to hear his voice first thing in the morning. "Oh you don't need to apologize. I didn't really need anything, I just like talking to you" you could almost hear Joel grin as he said "well I like talkin' to you too sugar" you had walked down to your kitchen to put on a pot of coffee at this point when you say "hey why aren't you at work?" "Waitin for some parts to come in for this current job. Until they do there's nothin else I can really do. But the parts are supposed to be here by noon... so I'll get my ass to work in a couple hours" you notice a note taped to the fridge as Joel finishes saying all this. "I completely forget" you mutter to yourself, but apparently Joel hears. "What'd you forget?" "My dad left me a note reminding me that he's gone on a business trip and won't be back until Thursday." "Oh that's right. Your dad did mention that. Told me to keep an eye out for ya." "Did he really? "Yeah I mean you're going to be by yourself in that big house for almost 3 days" "I'm a grown ass woman though!" Joel chuckled. "No ones sayin you ain't, darlin. Dads worry and that don't change from when you're 5 or when you're 25" "I guess that's fair enough" you shrug. "I should get my day started here... might go on a run and catch up on laundry" "Well if you need anything the next couple of days just hollar" You hang up the phone with brief goodbyes and run your fingers through your tangled bed head. You groan as you massage your temple. "What the fuck am I doing?? I'm catching feelings for Joel fucking Miller. What's worse is that I'm flirting with him too"

Against your better judgement you decide to text Joel later in the day Hey what time you get off tonight? I should be wrapping up by 7...Why? You want to swing by for dinner? Nothing fancy. I'm just bored and I don't love being here alone in the evenings for long periods of time lol. Well I ain't gonna turn you down for some dinner. I'll see you at 7:30. Can I pick anything up at the store for ya on my way there? Well if you're offering... maybe some ice cream? And a bottle of rosè You got it

The rest of the day went by slowly. 7:30 couldn't get here fast enough. You were hoping for something to happen tonight with Joel, but you weren't sure what that would be. You hadn't decided if the lingering glances from him were just something you were imagining or actually happening. Around 6:30 you decide to hope in the shower and of course shave...because you never know right? After your shower you settle on wearing a simple, linen dress that's super comfortable and not all that fancy.  At exactly 7:30 you hear the doorbell ring. You jump off the sofa to answer it, your heart in your throat. But when you open the door, you're afraid you might be sick. It's not Joel Miller who stands there, but your toxic ex boyfriend ...Ben.

"What the fuck are you doing? You need to leave" Ben smirks. "Aren't you a delight. I just wanted to talk to you, and since you've block my number I had to take matters into my hands." Your heart was racing. Ben had never shown any physical violence against you, but you didn't know what he was capable and you didn't want to find out. "I thought I made myself really fucking clear that we are over" you said with a shaky voice. "Baby I just don't think you get to make that call. I mean I've done so much to make this relationship work. You can't just throw all that away. You know you're never going to find another guy who puts up with your shit." That was it. Something in you snapped. Something that had been brewing for literally years was about to come out. "No fuck you!" You shoved him in the chest with both palms and he stumbled back just a step, caught off guard by your motion. "Screw you! I don't need a guy to put up with anything about me, you asshole. You act like you're some fucking hero for tolerating the fact that I struggle with my mental health and stuff!" Ben was fuming now. You had never laid hands on him and you could tell the shove had lit something inside him too. "You have issues you know that?! You have fucking issues in your head!" He screamed at you getting up in your face and grabbing your arms tightly, pinning them to your sides. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Joel's truck coming down the street and pulling into your drive way. Ben was now shaking you and yelling "YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH.." he didn't get to finish his sentence because a firm hand grabbed him by the shoulder and yanked him backwards.

If looks could kill...you had never seen such an expression on Joel. He looked like he could tear Ben to pieces right then and there, yet he maintained a calm composure. "I suggest you get the fuck off this porch and don't come back, son" Joel said in a low voice. Ben scoffed. "Get out of here, old man. This ain't your business" Ben spat. "Son, we can do this the easy way or the hard way." Ben let his head fall back and let out a chuckle that sent a chill down your spine. "Is that so?" Without warning Ben threw a punch and Joel and narrowly missed "Ben!" You shrieked. Ben straightened up sent another punch. Joel grabbed his wrist, mid punch and yanked him in close. Joel towered over him. "Do not make me repeat myself again. I said get the fuck off this porch, or things will get ugly." At this Joel shoved Ben forcefully away, causing him to stumble backwards. Ben still looked angry, but now there was a hint of fear in his eyes too. He gave you one last glare and then jogged back to his car.

As soon as Ben's car sped off. Joel sun around. "Are you okay??" He asked, grabbing your face in his hands. "Um yeah" you managed to squeak. "I mean that fucking scared me tho." Joel looked like he might be sick. "I am so sorry wasn't here at 7:30. If I got here on time- " "Joel come on you don't need to do that. It's not like either of us had any idea Ben would show up here. I'm glad you came when you did though." Joel massaged the bridge of his nose. He looked stressed and was probably imaging what would have happened if he didn't show up at all. He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut as if trying to rid himself of the notion. "Joel look at me I'm fine!" You said pulling his hand away from his face. Joel took your hand in his and stroked it with his thumb. "Okay" he said softly. "Did you get my ice cream?" You said trying to change the subject. A smile tugged at his mouth. "Yeah I did, baby"

You had made spaghetti for dinner, about one of the only dishes you were confident in preparing. You and Joel sat at the table in silence and you watched as he pushed his food around. "I'm sorry I'm not a chef...if you want we could just order a pizza?" You suggested. Joel looked up at you seemingly caught off guard. "No no no it's not that! The meal is delicious. I guess I just don't have an appetite. That's all." You pushed back from the table and the chair scraping against the hardwood made Joel jump slightly. "Baby I didn't mean to offend you it's just" you laughed as you reached for the shelf above the stove "Joel I'm not mad I'm just looking for something." Joel slowly walked towards where you were balancing on a stool trying to get the top door of the cabinet open. "Um...what's that?" You grunted as you finally got hold of what it was you were looking for. "My dad's red wine. It's gross too me, but he always says red wine gives you an appetite." You hopped off the stool and thrust the bottle into his chest. "Where's the wine you got me? I would like to get into that like asap." Before waiting for a response you went into the other room where the grocery bag still sat with the ice cream and wine and dug out the bottle. You hastily removed the top and began drinking. "Y/n...slow down what are you doing?" You removed the bottle from your lips and wiped your mouth. "What does it look like I'm doing?" Joel's face was laced with concern. "Okay that's enough. I'm calling your dad, you can stay at mine until he gets home. I'm sure he'll book the first flight back when he hears.." you didn't let Joel finish. He had tried to grab the bottle from your hands "no, fuck off I'm a grown woman. I don't need you calling me dad to tell on me or whatever." Joel placed both hands in his hair and squeezed his head "sweetheart you're clearly not okay! And for good reason... will you just let me help you? I'm worried about you. This shit wasn't in any of the parenting books I read before Sarah.." "you're not my dad!" "No no I'm not saying that I just" ... "is that all this is? You want to fill the void of not having your daughter at home this summer. So you come over here to parent me because my dad's not here? I don't fucking need that Joel I don't want you to see me that way."

...to be continued

[s8nny]

—WHEN Sugawara was younger, he always knew what color he wanted to paint the living room walls. He was also certain that he wanted a sofa with a chaise longue and a rug with an unconventional pattern. For his bedroom, he imagined a balcony that would let in plenty of light and blue sheets on the bed. And for his office, a large-capacity bookshelf. But as he stood amidst the scattered screws and half-assembled boards, he realized that some dreams were easier to imagine than to bring to life

She was certain there were more screws on the floor than there should be, but she didn't say anything because her husband's stress was palpable from the doorway. He had spent almost a month working on the room that was going to be his office, and more than once, he'd been so blinded by the excitement he felt for carpentry that he forgot he was never good at DIY projects.

"How's it going?" she asked softly, hoping her voice would ease his tension.

"Well, it seemed easier to put together when we saw it in the store, I'm not going to lie." Without diverting his attention to the figure behind him, the young man continued assembling the shelves, his brow furrowed in concentration. His hands, usually so steady when typing at a keyboard, fumbled with the unfamiliar tools.

Placing her hand on his shoulder, she gently caressed the space of his back that led up to his neck. Knots of stress were noticeable beneath her fingers. “We can always call Daichi,” she suggested, her voice a mix of concern and teasing.

Suga snorted, partly out of frustration and partly out of the stubborn pride that always flared up when he was in over his head. “We’re not going to call Daichi to put together a shelf.” Standing up, he looked at the three wooden boards he had managed to assemble, trying to convince himself that he could still pull this off. “At least, not yet.”

- TWENTY minutes. Daichi Sawamura had put together the shelf in 20 minutes. And he had even enjoyed a cup of coffee while trying out the new coffee maker that Koushi was dying to test. The pout on Sugawara’s lips didn’t disappear until his old friend was out the front door.

She grabbed his elbow and stood on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek and said, “You have no right to complain about your students.”

Returning to the office, they both began to open boxes and fill the bookshelf. The first shelf would be for bank paperwork. The second, for medical documents. The third for photo albums. And the last, for the drawings.

Sugawara had always been very aware of how quickly time passed throughout his life. But ever since he started teaching, he was even more conscious of it. His first students would be moving on to high school the following year, and he had known them when they still drew the sun in the corner of a piece of paper. He could still recall the way their small hands gripped crayons, and how their eyes sparkled with pride when they presented him with their creations. So he decided to keep every drawing they made. Probably, in a few years, he wouldn’t remember their faces, because they kept changing from one day to another, but he would always have their scribbles. It was a way to preserve their childhood over time, to hold onto a piece of them even as they grew up and moved on.

“Look, this kid drew me with a puppy he found on the street because he said I looked like it,” he said, his voice filled with fond amusement.

Sitting on the floor, they amused themselves with the colorful papers they were finding, each one full of creativity and innocence. As she placed them in folders, carefully sorting through the vibrant collection, the young woman began to admire the way her husband’s eyes lit up when he talked about the little devils he had as students. She could see how much they meant to him, how deeply he cared for each of them, and it made her heart swell with affection.

When the floor of the room was almost completely tidied up, she noticed two large folders that remained empty. Unlike the others, these were bright yellow, standing out cheerfully against the more subdued tones of the other folders. Suga placed them on the shelf and smiled proudly, as if he had just completed a task of great importance.

“What drawings are you going to keep in those?” she asked.

“The most special ones,” Koushi replied, smiling as he gently squeezed her hand, “the ones our children will make.”

a/n: I have this cute notebook in my drawer, full of colorful and creative drawings made by my students and two siblings I used to babysit. At the time they made the drawings, the only thing most of them knew how to write was their names, so the pages are filled with their little signatures. They all know how to write and read now. I like to keep these drawings in the notebook so I don’t lose them. So I can remember them as kids. My mom also keeps a folder in her wardrobe with all her kids' crafts. I like to think Sugawara also keeps the things that kids give him safe.

[hanniebread]

what comes must go. yoon jeonghan

warnings. mentions of tuberculosis as well as terminal cancer, bittersweet sort of ending, kind of angsty and sad.

wc. 1.9k

an. i wrote this in thirty minutes while listening to radiohead so it's pretty meh, but i wanted to post it regardless lol. also i'm really nervous to put this out there because i've never actually published anything before so i genuinely have no clue if this is even worth posting or not... please try to enjoy regardless umm thats all

everything happens for a reason. over time jeonghan had grown to be painfully aware of that fact, being fed the phrase on a silver platter by his mother throughout his entire life. everything has it’s own purpose, and once it’s done serving it, it goes on to be something more important–something more solemn and dignified.

when a tree dies, it weeps sap before finally resting; though it’s slumber isn’t eternal, as it goes on to become a life source for those around it. some trees take on different purposes, falling to the ground to create a new path for living creatures that may wander towards it. a tree laying over a river to become a bridge is the same as a tree that spreads it’s roots into the ground to become a mother.

in fifth grade, jeonghan’s hamster died. his mother broke the news to him–though she didn’t tell him directly, making up some excuse about his pet going on an adventure to explore that of which he hadn’t had the opportunity to see while he was living in a cage. 

he figured out what really happen two years later, now being old enough to truly grasp the concept of death, though he didn’t shed any tears. jeonghan figured that since everything has a purpose, there must’ve been a reason behind his beloved pets death. there had to be an ulterior outcome, something that let to a happier ending instead of the despondency and disconsolateness you’d feel when envisioning death. it took him a while, but he’d forced himself to accept the fact that he’d never know the real reason, because what comes must go.

in eight grade, just before he’d be sent off to a prestigious high school, jeonghan fell ill with tuberculosis. everything he’d worked for, the education he’d craved throughout his entire life, had been stripped from his hands and thrown out the window with one examination. when the doctors informed him of this, he almost didn’t believe it. everything had gone so well for him, and he’d worked to keep it that way--yet when he reached his highest, he was dropped to his lowest within just a few seconds. 

he found himself unable to grasp the notion, though he knew it was more than that by now, it was his new reality. throughout the healing process, he found himself asking: was god punishing him for being happy? was this meant to happen? did this have a reason behind it? 

by the time jeonghan had become well enough to go home, he’d already missed his entire ninth grade year, shifting into the next without experiencing any of it. he’d recovered well, though he was still too weak to go off to the school he’d imagined himself in since he’d picked up a flier as a child, the school he’d earned the right to attend. he spent his days homeschooling from his bedroom, his eyes becoming droopy and devoid of any light they’d held previously. though he found it challenging to stay optimistic, he remained hopeful–because what comes must go. he knew his pain would leave him, and he knew there had to be a reason behind his suffering. everything happens for a reason. 

in twelfth grade, jeonghan had made a full recovery, and attended  his senior year at school in person. he found himself thinking back to the three years he’d spent by himself, and his chest swelled with gratitude; despite all of the damage it’d done in the moment, he realized that everything he’d gone through had built him into something stronger than he was before. when he was handed his diploma, he realized his mother was right. 

when jeonghan turned nineteen, he began attending harvard. he found himself surrounded by groups of amazing people, his mood almost never dropping–which was a huge contrast to how he’d behaved just years prior. he’d smiled wider than he knew was possible, and though he didn’t want to, in the moment he couldn’t help but remember: everything that comes must go. 

when jeonghan turned twenty, he met you. your presence felt like a breath of fresh air, something that made him forget about the past and the future, allowing him to just live in the moment. as he got to know you, he’d found himself appreciating things around him more than he realized was possible, cherishing every moment for what it was instead of thinking about what it’d be when it became nothing but a memory.

when jeonghan turned twenty-one, he fell for you. loving you came easy, becoming something he’d do subconsciously, almost as if devoting himself to you was as simple as breathing. he found himself behaving as if he was a teenage boy again, giggling at the mere thought of you. he brought you flowers, ones he didn’t even know existed until he’d gone on a tangent trying to find flowers that perfectly suited you, to which he decided were red carnations. 

confessing to you was nothing short of undemanding. he found himself telling you how he felt as if he was stating the obvious, as if it was something so undeniable and simple that you’d have no reason to question it. he spoke the words "i love you." in such a way that it was on par with "i'm alive right now." – something so matter-of-fact that it came straight from his heart and fell right out of his lips. when you’d accepted his feelings, and even returned them, he felt as if he’d just won the lottery. that day he decided he’d live life without worries, letting himself be happy no matter what. living would be easy for him, as long as he had you. 

when jeonghan turned twenty-two, you told him you had terminal cancer.

suddenly, the phrase he’d lived by made no sense to him. everything happens for a reason? that had to be a complete lie. he thought back to what he’d always told himself, ‘everything that comes must go’, and in the moment the phrase felt like a punch to a gut rather than a subconscious reminder. he didn't want you to go, he didn’t want it to happen–and instantaneously, he felt like a child again; like a child battling their own emotions, ones which they can’t control or understand. that day, jeonghan cried himself unconscious. 

it was nothing new that loving you came easy, but loving you on borrowed time felt more tortuous than enjoyable. he tried his best to ignore the fact that your light wouldn’t stay aflame for much longer, but the thought lingered in the back of his head with every glance he took. 

when you were hospitalized, jeonghan visited you every day. he spent every second he could by your side, talking to you, clinging on to the idea that maybe–just maybe you could hear him. he knew this day was approaching rapidly, he knew that you didn’t have much time left, yet every night when he left the hospital, he went home and prayed. he prayed harder than he ever had before, harder than when he attended church every weekend as a child, harder than he had when his mother told him that his father had gotten into a car crash, he prayed until his hands were sore and red from squeezing each other. 

the day before you died, jeonghan brought you red carnations. he’d always visited with flowers, which meant that your hospital room was nearly flooded with them; but he’d never had time to stop and get the ones he truly believed you deserved. anything other than this felt shallow and generic, but he couldn’t explain why. perhaps it was because carnations were the flowers he’d associated with you all this time, it’d become his way of expressing his love to you when you weren’t able to tell him you felt the same anymore. 

on the day that you died, jeonghan felt as if a piece of him had died along with you. nothing could put into words how it felt as he held your hands, which had slowly become cold; his eyes stinging as tears pooled in his eyes and fell on to your empty, unmoving chest.

jeonghan missed you so much it was unbearable. sometimes he’d be so overwhelmed with sadness and grief it felt as if he was going to die, his chest burning as he struggled to breathe. there was no way in hell that this happened for a reason. his mother was wrong, everyone was wrong, everything he lived by was wrong, and he felt so lost that it made him question if he should even seek out help anymore.

the first time jeonghan visited your grave, it was on his twenty-third birthday. he tried to enjoy the day with his friends, which had also been your friends at some point, but he found himself wanting nothing more than to spend the day with you, even if it meant he’d really be by himself. he felt more guilt than he’d imagined as he realized how long he’d waited to visit you, though he knew it wasn’t for the wrong reasons. as jeonghan sat next to your grave, he let himself cry again, the only thing comforting him being the thought that you were there with him. he knew that he had to accept your death eventually, and that nothing in this universe could bring you back, because everything that comes must go. 

that day, jeonghan brought you pink carnations. 

healing wasn’t an easy process, and it didn’t get easier as he progressed in life without you. when jeonghan turned twenty-four, he rented out his first house with a friend you both shared. he adopted a cat, cut his hair, and tried his best to become a new version of him. though it was hard, and he viewed it as nearly impossible, he didn’t give up. despite how cliche and foolish it may sound, he knew you wouldn’t have wanted him to. 

jeonghan knew he’d never think the same after you passed, and that proved to be true. he didn’t blame his mother, he’d never truly blame her, but he found himself so overwhelmed by his feelings that he didn’t know exactly who to point fingers at. in all honesty, if he opened his eyes, he knew that he’d find it to be nobodies fault. “some things just happen,” seungkwan had told him the day he’d cried to his best friend on the couch they’d bought together only recently, his chest heavy with guilt. “whether or not they happen for a reason doesn’t matter, what matters is that you make the best of the situation and enjoy what you have while you have it.” 

spring rolled around quickly. when jeonghan had moved into his new house, he’d noticed small buds of flowers by his window, resting unborn and full of potential as they stared at him, almost expectantly. he didn’t mind, because maybe they’d grow to be something beautiful, something full of life for as long as it’d be alive. maybe they were there for a reason, one he was yet to find out. the thought made a bud of hope blossom in his chest, one much like the dormant flowers sitting almost next to him.

a week later, they blossomed into white carnations; and jeonghan allowed himself to cry once more. he knew they’d close up eventually, retreating back into their shells as the seasons changed, but he found himself thinking: ‘maybe that’s okay. they’re here right now, and that’s all that matters.’

he didn’t let it trouble him, because what comes must go–and if he’s lucky enough, maybe it’ll come back around. 

[lyraeon]

A while back I learned something important from my therapist, and since I was trying to recount it anyway to share with a friend, I thought I would bring it to y'all as well.

We have all had at least one of those days where we've stayed up way too late doing something fun but we just don't want to stop doing it. Logically I figured that's just because "well yeah I don't want to stop, I have to go to sleep then to work and those suck compared to it."

Except then that starts happening often and you feel bad about always staying up every night, but then you feel worse and get more stressed because you know you're doing something you're "not supposed to", but because you're more stressed you want more fun time... endless cycle.

But as I was talking about it all and told her I thought I was self-sacrificing, the therapist had a very useful question for me:

"How do you normally know it's time to stop having fun? Like you know it's time to finish work because your shift's over, you know it's time to stop doing the dishes when they're all done or the washer's full, what is your signal to stop having fun?"

And I had to search for a while to answer.

"When the activity is done" - okay sure, but many games and books and series, or doing your own creative thing, "done" may take days upon days or even be non-existent.

"When I had to pass the controller" - obvious and easy one! If you knew you had a finite turn then the defined end is readily there, and you're also prepared for it! But requires pre-arranging the limits.

"When I got in trouble for it" - ding ding ding, we found the big problem.

When you grow up with "fun" being a forbidden activity you're only allowed to do after everything else is done to 100% perfection, then you learn to sneak it in where you can fit it. And you need that shit, seriously - you cannot get through life without some source of enjoyment, some tiny glimmer of joy among the tedium.

Many of us learned to read under the covers, or to play our gameboy in the bathroom and hide it under the sink, or that we could get away with running around the backyard for another 20 minutes if we just learned which intonation of "come inside" was the actual trouble line, or whatever other ways to cram in as much joy as we could before the hammer came down, for whatever severity that meant in your house.

And so that feeling of "I shouldn't be doing this, I'm going to get caught, but if I'm going to get in trouble anyway I might as well get as much out of this as I can" becomes part of what you expect to feel when you're having fun. And you only know how to stop having fun when you feel that way when you get in trouble for it - and in absence of anyone else controlling your behavior, that means the bad guy becomes either whatever task pops up to remind you responsibilities exist, or your significant other pointing out it's really late and they wish you'd come to bed, or your boss yelling at you for being tired all the time... or it becomes you.

If you don't learn that fun isn't a forbidden activity, if you stay stuck in the mindset that it's something you have to cram in in secret and hide that you're even doing? It becomes so so easy to hate the voice of reason in your head that's trying to encourage moderation and we're going to regret this tomorrow.

And that escalates. You keep being too tired the next day. You keep feeling even worse when you sit down to enjoy yourself the next night because now you're already tired, so stress gets to you faster, and now you feel guilty about how late you're staying up so you're not really enjoying playing your game or scrolling Tumblr or whatever anymore, you're just nervously glancing at the clock, "have I spent too long yet? How much longer can I do this before I get in trouble?"

Even though now you're in your 20s or 30s and it's been a decade since the last time anyone else told you it was bed time.

Learning that you're allowed to have fun isn't easy; guilt and shame are emotions that run very, very deep. And neither is learning to have a healthier relationship with saying "okay, that's enough for today".

For one, you have to stop threatening yourself. "Tomorrow is gonna suck" and "You're going to regret this" and "we're going to get in trouble at work" don't work. You already feel bad, you already know it's gonna suck, so why wouldn't you try to cram in one more hour now while it's not the day that's going to suck yet? Punishment is not incentive.

Because by now you're in a situation where sleep is a horrifying punishment that ends any fun, but you're not enjoying your fun anyway because you're tired all the time on top of feeling ashamed for doing something fun, and you're spending the entire time beating yourself up for being an idiot with no self control who can't even handle going to bed on time like a normal human being...

etc etc etc.

You will hear a lot of people give advice on how to get rid of the idea of having to "earn" sleep or fun or happiness by doing "enough" other things. To learn to accept that just being alive is enough reason to "deserve" to do those things. That will work for some people, but for others it just ends up one more thing to scold yourself about, especially when you're already in the habit not of denying yourself entirely but instead of doing it and feeling guilty the whole time.

But learning to set limits ahead of time, so that you're not anticipating some unknown time that a nebulous authority figure is going to finally have their horror monster timer run out and leap out at you but instead know when and what to expect? Holy shit it helped.

Don't get me wrong, it hella felt like depriving myself at first, like I was being grounded, and I looked at my phone beeping saying it was bedtime quite often and got annoyed.

But then I stopped treating fun as something that had to wait until the end of the day and everything else had to be done first. It is way easier to stare down sleep and go "I don't need you", especially if you have any kind of insomnia making the idea of being in bed a dreadful one on top of it. It is harder to say that about dinner, or calling a friend, or walking the dog. Plus then the day isn't over yet, so giving up on your fun isn't also accepting that as the defining moment of the end of your day!

So you have to start practicing looking for places to squeeze in a little more fun - "I've got an hour before dinner, that's perfect to make some tea and watch two episodes." "My favorite youtuber just put up a new video, why don't I take a break to watch it before I finish this homework?" "I need to go grocery shopping tomorrow anyway, and if I leave an hour early I could go kick around the bookstore first."

And once you do, fun starts to feel less shameful.

Don't get me wrong, if your issues run deep enough it still does sometimes. But when you get to have these moments of joy that you don't feel the need to hide or apologize for and where punishment isn't part of the routine, then fun stops feeling like something you have to dig your claws into for fear of having it taken away from you once someone catches you with it. And that means that finishing a level and glancing over at the clock is something you do because it actually managed to click a satisfaction switch in your head and you wondered if it was a good note to end on for now, instead of something you do with your breath held and the berating words already cycling in your mind.

I am not offering this advice expecting it to work for everyone or be easy or anything like that. I am someone with Depression, ADHD, and pretty severe PTSD sharing a technique that one therapist told me that really happened to click for and help me specifically, in case it might help someone else be a little nicer to themselves today, too.

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @kevinbparry

Kevin Parry is a stop-motion animator and visual effects artist in Toronto, Canada, who creates magical and mind-bending content for brands. Prior to working in social media full-time, he animated a number of stop-motion feature films at Portland-based LAIKA.

Check out our interview with Kevin below!

How did you get your start in stop motion and animation in general?

I was always very interested in moviemaking (monster makeup and visual effects), and that led to me studying animation in college, where I specialized in stop-motion.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

The shift to shorter content through social media feeds has made me approach storytelling in a more concise way. When I first started my career, ‘short form’ meant a story maybe 4 minutes in length. Now, I make videos that are as short as 4 seconds!

Over the years as an animator, who/what were your biggest inspirations behind your creativity?

I’m a big fan of directors and artists who have a bit more texture to their work - blending old-school, handcrafted techniques with modern technology. Filmmakers like Michel Gondry and Wes Anderson. And, of course, magicians! The surprise and delight of magic is something I try to capture in my work.

If there is one thing you want your audience to remember about your work, what would it be?

That I left them feeling stumped and curious about how I made it! It’s the best feeling when someone tells me they watched my video a dozen times and still can’t figure it out.

As we’re wrapping up with the year, what is one thing you learnt about yourself as a creator in 2022? Any goals for 2023?

This year, I’ve been focusing on making my work less polished. Meaning ditching green screens and doing a lot more of my stop-motion and visual effects in camera. It’s a bit of a battle with the perfectionist in me, but I think my work can have a lot more charm to it if I embrace mistakes and the rougher edges.

How did you transition from working for a company to working freelance?

I was working on stop-motion animated feature films at LAIKA and then eventually left to pursue social media full-time. There were a few years of overlap where I built up an audience and had already started to get offers from companies before finally making the leap. I’m thankful for all the years spent doing studio work because it prepared me for the business side of freelance—stuff like pitching concepts and understanding when work needs to serve the client and not myself.

Do you have any tips for creators out there looking to make the same move?

My two tips are:

Be as unique as possible. You want to give companies a reason to come to you, and not someone else.

Find a balance in your work between Hollywood and homemade. You want it to be professional enough that companies trust you with their brand but approachable enough that it blends in well on social media.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

To be honest, I’m new to Tumblr! I signed up a few weeks ago and have just begun to explore the fantastic content. If people can leave a comment with who I should check out, that would be fantastic!

Thank you for stopping by, Kevin! Be sure to check out more of their work over at @kevinbparry, and drop a comment below with who Kevin should check out on Tumblr!