#I sit here and giggle

[trashvampiree]

I made MORE Lost Boys memes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so I guess this is a part 2 (throws them at you and sprints away) (the Paul one is making me lose it the most if you were wondering)

[blacksvgar]

the worst best pirate in history

scp cr. crimestape

[artbyfuji]

taiyang xiao long rolls "worst joint ever." banned from summer & ravens smoke sessions for 3 days.

[guccikitty404]

So like, I didn’t think taking Spamton to the satanic temple was something I was going to do, but it was.

[youwerethedefeated]

Hinata aint gay!!!

I've been sitting here staring at this ask for so long. Going over the possibilities and every one is funnier than the last. Are you just outright homophobic? Are you being sarcastic? Is this some kind of in joke I'm not aware of? A test I need to pass to join some secret haikyuu society? Do you send this to every shipping blog that pops up around here, or am I special?

Anyway, I've thought of so many ways to reply to this, but because there are no tone indicators I just don't know which answer would be funnier. So. a) personally I headcanon Hinata as bisexual, and b) i think it's so funny you didn't even bother to say anything about Kageyama 😭

[dailykafka]

Im watching new Kafka series now and its just so much fun?? Its lovely!

[shima-draws]

DIABLE JAMBE????

[bedforddanes75]

do you have any fanfiction recs??

I DO!!!!!! im honoured that someone's thought of Me to ask for recs omg... anyway theyll be under the cut because making long posts without a cut makes me feel mean

okay im assuming u mean gatty cos. its Me so sorry if u didnt 😞 smut is marked with * btw!!! (also before i start i'm sorry to everyone i tag i Hate tagging it's really scary.) SO. in no specific order. let's go

love me to death* by...somebody who i do not know the tumblr of (sorry) is amazing. i'd also recommend everything else by this person, too, because all of it is beautiful.

all the king's horses by the wonderful @allylikethecat is one of my all time faves, it just makes me want to scream and cry and yell and jump up and down. in a very, very good way!! (also, it has horses, so.)

the big light by @betweenthings2 is for real godsent, and i would die to be able to write like this!!!!! (but if u do then tw for speak of s/a!! keep urself safe!) it's beautiful and sad and sad and sad and wonderful. again, i'd recommend everything else by them, too!!! (also loads of crisps because it got updated like three seconds ago, and i Love It)

in the search for it, inside of you* by @arainesque is so beautifully sad, and the best thing ever. it's so soft and wonderful and lovely and aaaaaahhh!!! the way she wrote their dynamic makes my heart ACHE. obsessed always :(((((<3

how little i really know (about the things that matter)* OH MY GOD. farm boy george. literally almost entirely what inspired deus like it's AMAZING. beautiful and i love it so much

roadkill, again, by @betweenthings2 because she's genuinely amazing and deserves nine hundred thousand billion kudos on every single fic <3 (tw for restrictive (i think) EDs btw!!) i think if i read this while not in a good mood i would explode and die. it's amazing

into my spiral patterns you (my love) by @lookedlikethebins which is in progress rn is HWHSKJSJSJ. beautiful. obsessed with how they've written george in this one <3

okay im Very sorry to everyone who i tagged here i genuinely hate tagging people so much it makes me SICK but i kinda felt bad speaking about fics and Not tagging people. LORD. someone give me a tumblr etiquette class

[melkyt]

Little preview of my upcoming amv, these two scenes in Wano are sending me, they go so hard, and when I fudge the context with editing, hhhhhh

Thank you Japanese Luffy and Law for saying each others names like that too XD

[foggyfanfic]

Bruno lets Camilo write him a script for reporting his visions!

Inspired by the recent trend among non-profits where they have their stuffiest looking staff read out a script written by Gen Z. @teawizard I blame you for this popping into my head cuz you put that post on my dash lol.

*Handing a vision of a wedding to a young man*

Bruno: The proposal will eat…?

Camilo: Ate.

Bruno: The proposal will …ate.

Camilo: No crumbs.

*Holding a vision of withered crops*

Bruno: It’s giving drought. No cap.

*Holding a vision of a healthy newborn*

Bruno: Slay.

*Vision of another dead goldfish*

Bruno: That five hundredth dead fish just hits different. Touch grass.

*Surprise vision*

Bruno: Bitchless behavior.

*Vision of rats*

Bruno: Slay.

[0xeyedaisy]

that one sona design you made looked so beautiful, i couldn't drawing them ❤

OHHH MY GOSHH, I LOVE THIS OS MUCH!!! THANK YOU THEY LOOK SO GOOD IN YOUR STYLE!!! <3<3<3

[starheirxero]

I'm ngl the show is feeling a leetol salty with the BM redemption truthers but what they haven't considered is the diehard Bloodmoon Crimes supporters.

Like oh okay, he's gunna get worse? He's gunna kill more people? He's gunna hurt more main characters? Do it. Do it to such a point it's nearly excessive I dare you. Lemme see that boy rip someone's batteries out with his teeth or some shit and I promise you--no matter how hard the show tries to spin it as "look he's evil so you should hate him!"--I will eat that shit up.

Can't make me hate a blorbo for being violent if the whole reason I liked them to begin with was because of the violence, boy!!!!!

[murmel-malt]

Watch me silly giggle about this man the entire season. Hugh Hammer my beloved! <3

[lets-try-some-writing]

Hi!! I absolutely adore your kids as sparklings series!! and just wondered since Jack tend to be one of my favourite if you could do a interact of him and Dad Optimus, he needs more love since he such a quiet bean XD

I will gladly produce more lovely bonding fuel for you dear anon! After writing about Miko and Raf, I intended to do Jack anyway.

Little Medic

After all the chaos with Miko and Rafael growing and rapidly gaining themselves Decepticon secondary Caretakers, Optimus had more time to focus on the eldest of his three humans-turned-sparklings. It had been eating at him for months having to work himself half to death to deal with being Prime and his sparklings. He had wanted to spent more time with his neglected eldest for the entirety of the time he had the sparklings under his care. But now that the workload was more evenly distributed, he finally had the opportunity to bond with Jack.

As such Optimus's lessons in history and culture with Jack grew more frequent and at the same time he rapidly found himself wrapped up in games of medic. While he had hoped somewhere deep in his spark that his eldest sparkling (excluding Bumblebee) would have a desire to be an archivist as Optimus once was, he was still proud of his little one. Jack had shown great interest in becoming a medic, contrary to his warframe build, and Optimus was incredibly happy for him. So when Jack began putting stickers that were modeled after welds onto Optimus's armor where he had scratches on his paint, he smiled and let it happen.

It didn't end there though. As Jack began taking simple lessons from Ratchet, he also expressed an even greater desire to play medic and stickers just didn't cut it for him anymore. And so using the new free time Optimus had on his servos, he pulled up some old knowledge from the Matrix and some of the tricks he had acquired over the years to make a little gift. With Ratchet's help and permission to take a few small tools, Optimus put together a mini medical kit for his sparkling. It had just about everything, with small (thankfully dulled) tools, mesh wraps for bleeding, thicker weld stickers (the novelty of which kept Jack enthralled for days), and small vials of glowing liquid not too dissimilar from energon in fake syringes. Then to top it all off, Optimus commissioned a field medic's battle-mask from Wheeljack. The wrecker of course did not hesitate the make the mask and even went out of his way to make an attachable surgical blade like Ratchet (which was promptly confiscated and turned offline before being given to Jack).

When everything was prepared Optimus gathered the team and knelt before Jack with the gift held behind his back. The team rapidly took photos as Optimus presented his gift and watched Jack's reaction go from confused, shocked, to overjoyed in less than ten seconds. Jack did not hesitate to accept the gift, reverently putting it on the ground before leaping into Optimus's arms in gratitude. He ended up crying from how happy he was with the gift, temporarily leaving Optimus and the team to worry that something was wrong.

The very next day Jack was outfitted with his new mask, his blade (which remained dulled and offline but still usable), and his kit. He marched directly up to Optimus after he returned from patrol and in his best doctor voice proclaimed his Sire needed a checkup, to which the rest of the team nearly perished from cuteness overload.

Jack: Sire! You need to get a checkup!

Optimus: Is that the doctor's order?

Jack: Yes! I will be your attending physician today!

Optimus: Very well doctor, please, tell me what to do.

Jack: Go sit over there please! We need to run scans!

Before anyone could really process the adorableness, Jack began giving orders to Ratchet and had Optimus lay down for a checkup. Not wanting to waste energon, Ratchet gave up his pride for a moment and made fake scanning noises while pulling up some old scans for Jack to use during his "checkup". The sparkling did not suspect a thing and accepted the comparatively huge datapad with as much grace as his small frame could afford him. He then looked down at the datapad knowingly and made some thoughtful hums before putting it down and pulling out his new medical kit.

He immediately pulled out a little scanner designed to only pick up basic vitals and looked at the results with the most adorable look of concentration both Optimus and Ratchet had every seen. Then once complete he nodded to himself and grabbed his tiny sander and other dulled tools. Jack's tools were made to only damage paint when used, so when the sparkling began powering up his itty bitty sander, Optimus merely chuckled quietly and endured the slight tickle that came as Jack clambered around on his frame using the tool on all his biggest scratches.

Optimus looked like a blotchy mess when Jack finished, a bit like a spotted leopard if he was being entirely honest considering the varying spots around his frame where his paint had been stripped away. But he did not stop Jack as the sparkling seemed so proud of himself for "fixing" the scratches. He kept a smile on his face as Jack then went about slapping weld stickers on the sanded parts of his frame to make it "all better". Then when Jack was completely content with his work he patted Optimus on the cheek and passed him an absolutely miniscule energon lollypop that Ratchet had provided. Being a good sport and not wanting to foul Jack's mood, Optimus accepted the lollypop as Jack began listing off what he had fixed and what his orders were.

Jack: I fixed up all your broken bits, so now you need to get lots and lots of rest.

Optimus: Of course doctor.

Jack: AND you need lots of cuddle time to help the pain go away too!

Optimus: Oh really?

Jack: Yeah! Lots of cuddles and hugs and kisses to make all the ouches better!

Optimus: *struggling to stay composed* If that is your order head medic.

Ratchet: *dying of cuteness quietly in the background* How many cuddles should he be prescribed doctor?

Jack: At least fifteen! But the more cuddles, the faster the ouches will go away!

Optimus obeyed his personal medic's orders and gave Jack lots of cuddles throughout the next few days. Jack was ecstatic and quickly took to having Optimus lay down for "check-ups" every time he began to feel lonely or had something to talk about. It was his way of stealing time away just for him and Optimus, and the Prime did not begrudge him that. Jack was always such a mild and well-mannered sparkling, so he did not object at all whenever Jack called him over and did his little diagnostic before prescribing Optimus anything from cuddles (to help with ouches), game time (to help with stiff cables, obviously), to story time (for memory retaining purposes of course).

Whatever he was prescribed, Optimus took the time to fulfill. If Jack ordered him to have cuddles, Optimus would spend at least an hour with just him and Jack in their little nest at the end of the day. When Jack ordered him to play, Optimus would sit with Jack and his siblings and play a little game of ball or blocks with them until the younger ones got tired. And of course when Jack prescribed stories, Optimus would take Jack aside and tell him tales of Cybertron and the old days with as much skill as he could work into his glyphs.

Jack also took time to do little "check-ups" with the rest of the team when he wanted something as well. It quickly became obvious who he liked best by how often he summoned them for medical exams. Optimus, Bumblebee, Smokescreen, Ratchet, and Arcee were favorites by far, often being prescribed any of the things previously listed. Bulkhead, Wheeljack, and Ultra Magnus got called every now and then, usually being prescribed something like "you need to find X in order to handle your mental stress" or something of the like as a way for Jack to get items from the outside. They never objected despite being made into effective messenger boys at best and fetch quest receivers at worst. The visiting Decepticons in Soundwave and Starscream didn't get "check-ups" as a general rule. But every now and then Jack would slap a weld sticker on a scratch on their legs and pass them a lollypop as a form of appreciation when they aided Optimus in handling his siblings.

As for Miko and Rafael? Jack didn't give them "check-ups" due to them not holding still long enough. Not that it stopped him from trying.

[ratcandy]

I can relate to the divorce thing so much

It's so much more fun to ponder on why a relationship will fail rather than succeed

Incredibly funny opening sentence to this ask

But HONESTLY. Like yeah okay I'll indulge in a little fluff here and there for the haha sillies but it is way more interesting to consider all the possible things that could tear those bastards apart. Be it their own flaws or something Else forcing them to split. Unbelievable potential for 1 million angsty AUs where terrible horrible things happen.

.........I believe I may be biased as a tragedy enjoyer who likes writing arguments but REGARDLESS . I don't want to see these guys kissing I want to see them divorce. Thank you and god bless

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

On second thought…. I think this may be the max amount of rendering my brain is capable of doing in one day