#I simply adore this silly little story and the way it’s being presented

[wheres-hoid]

This is an RE: Dracula (Bloody FM) appreciation post 💕💕

[moonstruck-poet]

Love Story

Pairing - Nikolai Lantsov x fem!reader, Nikolai Lantsov x wife!reader

Summary - The story of your marriage based on the song Love Story.

Warnings - angst

And as my other song based fics, this one is also quite long. So brace yourself and I hope it doesn't get boring at any point-

And please do send requests for any other Grishaverse characters.

We were both young when I first saw you, I close my eyes and the flashback starts I'm standing there. On a balcony in summer air.

You were growing agitated every passing second, the reason being that someone was supposed to reach the palace an hour ago, and had failed to do so.

Sitting on the comfortable seat in one of the balconies was not a tedious task, but you hated that you quite literally had nothing to do except wait.

A groan was heard as you made up your mind to go inside, not bothering to wait any longer and of course that's when the said person decided to enter the gates.

You rolled your eyes at his impeccable timing though a smile did break through that serious exterior as your eyes scanned your best friend coming closer.

Nikolai Lantsov was in itself the definition of beauty, you thought to yourself. He looked handsome in that military coat that was buttoned right up to his chin. His golden blond hair appearing windswept but still somehow upholding the royalty persona.

His eyes landed on you as soon as you were within sight and you fell victim to his boyish smile that radiated excitement and his hazel eyes that shone alive with adventure.

And instantly you were transported back to a certain memory that seemed too common now, but it was still the one that made your heart swell with adoration.

It was that of a young Nikolai, no older than ten years of age as he sprinted around the castle in search of his best friend. As the moment when he found her, his lips had twitched to mirror the smile he held now. A smile that you display to show your adoration towards the person.

At that time he simply wanted to show her the fireflies that were swarming a large tree in the garden, but it was nonetheless filled with the same energy and warmth.

"Missed me, moya tsaritsa?" His playful words brought you back to the present. He had insisted on calling you a queen even though you were still a princess for as long ad you could remember.

And so you replied with a charming grin, "Keep dreaming, moi tsar".

===============================

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns. See you make your way through the crowd and say hello. Little did I know.

When someone from the royal family comes back successful from a mission of any sorts, it's almost tradition to throw a small party. This time, Ravka's younger prince had returned from a dangerous expedition that had also earned him a bullet being wedged in his arm.

And naturally the king, as boastful as he was did indeed organize a lavish gathering of their family and alliances. Your family was of course the first one to receive an invitation.

The news of Nikolai's achievement had reached you through the man himself and to say you were proud would be an understatement. After fretting over his injury and scolding him for almost dying, you had laughed at his jokes and hugged him tight.

Standing in front of the large mirror you admired yourself, being quite startled by your own beauty. It seemed as if you had never looked this good before.

You chuckled at your own silly thoughts and placed the family heirloom, a beautiful sapphire necklace around your neck, taking one last look before leaving.

Nikolai on the other hand wanted to escape this hell hole desperately. He couldn't stand another minute of people widening their eyes and pointing at him, as though they had never heard of a prince getting shot before.

But he held on just for that one person, who was again fashionably late.

Speak of the devil and she shall appear, he thought after spotting your father walking through the grand doors.

His heart had suddenly took up its pace the minute he laid his eyes on you, making him strangely breathless. His gaze was focused as he watched you walking with every bit of elegance, though he knew that you tripped over literal air.

He softly smiled at a memory and felt his breath hitch as you made eye contact. His hazel irises meeting your sparkling ones and it felt like time had come to a halt.

However he didn't dwell too much on the unfamiliar feeling and unconsciously smoothed his hair and started walking closer to greet your parents.

"Ah there he is, the man of the evening," your father said brightly and shook his hand.

Nikolai smiled back pleasantly and engaged in small talks before finally giving you his undivided attention.

"Quite the spectacle you are," you grinned and took a step forward, subtly scanning him from head to toe.

"Of course I am, I'm the future king for Saint's sake!" He laughed and leaned in without even realizing what he was doing. He just felt that you were too far away and gave in to his mind's demands to be closer.

"You feeling alright now? The wound isn't troubling you, is it?"

"Oh not you too!" He groaned and ran his fingers through his styled hair, ruffling it now. "It's nothing much, I'm fine. I've already had fifty people asking me and you're the latest".

"I worry about you, idiot".

"You don't have to," he replied softly. "I'm always gonna be alright," he winked cheekily.

"You'll definitely survive all those battles but I'm sure your overblown ego is gonna get you killed someday".

"Oof," he shut his eyes tightly and brought his hand towards his heart. "You're hurting me".

"That's the entire point, love".

===============================

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles and my Daddy said stay away from Juliet. And I was crying on the staircase, begging you please don't go.

"Coming Father," you called out and placed the book on the bed before rushing down the stairs.

"Good you're here," he smiled at you and gestured for you to take a seat. "I've got a few marriage proposals from different princes, take a look at them".

"You what?" The question slipped past, your voice coated woth disbelief. "I told you I didn't want to get married so soon".

"Oh we're not getting you swept away the next day," he said impatiently. "Just have a look at these pictures and shortlist the ones that you like".

You breathed in deeply, your heart erratic as you twisted the small heart-shaped necklace, given to you by the same person who had fully occupied your mind at the present.

Nikolai.

Your feelings were emerging once again and you buried them deeply, pushing down so you could atleast look at the photos your father had brought. Maybe he would be one of the choices?

But alas, he wasn't.

Most of the faces were strange, never seen before and only heard of, while some were friendly. You tried to stop the small amoumt of disgust in your throat. Some of these gentlemen were like brothers, almost family.

You were involuntarily shaking your head after keeping the last one down and your father looked in your direction. "No?"

"No," you responded, swallowing harshly.

"Okay no worries, I'll get some more".

You smiled tightly and hastily went to your bedroom. You had to speak with Nikolai, it had been over two years since you held obvious affection for the handsome prince. You had to act on it. There was no other choice.

But how could you? Knowing that there was always a huge chance of being rejected. You being a princess was a plus point, but what guarantee did you have that his parents would accept you even through your good relation.

You could speak with your father, but what if he miraculously agreed and the Lantsovs rejected later on. It would be shameful.

Nikolai should know about this, about your likes towards him, you muttered to yourself and a sudden gust of bravery or stupidity swept ove you.

You decided to talk to your father first, wanting to convince him before facing the other side. And taking a deep breath, you followed your instinct.

The talk in itself was okay, your father was a man who listened to the other's side fully before coming to a conclusion and you appreciated that. But just after the conversation was over from your side, he dropped the missile that turned your world upside down.

It felt as though the skies had opened up in a terrible downpour and lightning was crashing all around.

"He wh- what?" Yoir voice trembled, unable to believe his answer.

"I'm only telling you the truth, my dear. He's going to leave the palace, go somewhere else for a long time. He claims it'll help him understand the country better".

"But- He didn't tell me... He didn't say anything at all".

But your father just gave you a look of sympathy, "He doesn't care about anyone else except for himself, that one".

"I'm going there- I need to see him," you grabbed your coat from the stand kept in the corner, already rushing out as your father called you.

"I'll be fine!" You ripped your arm from his grip. "Please," you whispered. "Let me go".

He sighed, looking at you before releasing your hand, "Go safely. But don't come back to tell me that I didn't tell you otherwise".

It had taken almost twenty minuted to reach the palace and you were glad to have chosen horseback rather than a carriage. As soon as you gave your stallion to the caretaker, your feet were sprinting across the garden to find your idiot of a friend.

"NIKOLAI!" You screamed, frantically turning your head side to side as you searched. "NIKOLAI LANTSOV!"

"Holy Saints calm down, woman. Did you inhale an entire barrel of kvas to yell like that?" The man in question mused.

You didn't speak a work and dragged him by the arm, not attempting to be gentle as you led him into the secluded courtyard.

"What's going on?" He asked, a frown spreading across his face.

"Don't tell me it's true- Please don't tell me it's the truth goddamnmit!"

"What're you saying? Will you just calm down for a moment yeah?"

"Are you leaving the city to wander off to some saints forsaken place or not?" You got straight to the point, stepping closer and narrowing your eyes to detect any lies.

"Oh that," his smile fell as he grimaced. "Yes I am going away for some time".

All of the anger residing inside of you disappeared at his admission, leaving behind a burnt fire and warm ashes, all grey and dull. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I," he began but huffed and looked around. "I knew you wouldn't like the decision. You would've told me it'd be better if I were to remain within the walls, so that I'll have a better chance at the throne. But how will I learn about my country then?"

"You can tour around! Go on expeditions and roam as much as you bloody want to!" You reasoned, voice beginning to shake as you swallowed the lump.

"It wouldn't be the same, lapushka," he murmured and took your hands but you moved them out of his grasp.

"Please don't go," you now whispered, eyes brimming with unshed tears signalling that you were on the verge of crying. Something that he picked on instantly.

"Hey," he said, slightly panicking inside as he cupped your cheeks. "It's only for a few months, love. I'm gonna be back soon".

"You don't understand, Nik," you stepped away from his touch and his hands fell down hopelessly.

His eyebrows furrowed, "Then help me to".

You exhaled, a lonely tear slipping your holds at last, "My father wants me to get married. And he's looking for possible suitors".

===============================

And I said, Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone, I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run. You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess, it's a love story baby just say yes.

"You're going to get married?" He asked, shocked to the core. His heart was screaming for him to cancel all his arrangements and talk to her father himself.

"Yes," you gave him a small, hollow answer.

"No that's- that can't be-"

"-Possible?" You cut him off and he looked at you blankly. "Why not? I'm a princess and have reached the age. I could've gotten married sooner if it wasn't for my opposition".

He clenched his jaw and his gaze hardened, he wad conflicted and rightfully so.

On one hand he wanted to leave the palace just so he could actually do some work for the benefits of Ravka and on the other he wanted nothing more than to throw every plan down the drain and ask for your hand in marriage.

It was a tough battle between his mind and his heart. And at the end, he chose his reasoning, leaving behind his emotions.

"I'm sorry," he said, almost flinching at the way your eyes seemed to shatter in front of him. He would never forget the way they lost their sparkle, the way your very soul deflated, all because of him.

"No," you shook you head. "Please just stay".

"I can't, I'm truly sorry. But I can't, I can't stay here with you".

Your tears had dried up, the emotions becoming cold as you appeared distant, "Then take me with you".

His eyes widened, "Darling listen to me, please. You honestly think that I'd ever allow you to throw away your life like that?"

"Then why give up yours?"

"I'm replaceable," he smiled sadly. "Whereas you are not. You're a princess, you should be here with your family and your people".

"Don't you think that applies to you as well?"

"Tell me honestly, have I ever gotten any sort of remarkable work done in the courts during all these years? I haven't," he answered before you even opened your mouth. "The only way I'll be able to help is by being outside, in the fields".

"Let me come with you," you said with a fierce glint in your eyes. You could tell that this battle was hanging by a thread and you were going to lose.

"I can't do that, you know as well as I do. Your family would never allow it".

"I'll fight them".

He gave a hollow chuckle, "Why? Why're you so intent on going against your family's expectations to just come with me?"

You didn't even have a second to think before the words came bursting out, they were held it for too long and were bound to come spilling some day. "Because you have bewitched me, body and soul!"

He stared, rooted to the spot as he waited for those specific words.

"And I l- I lo- I love you," you managed, gasping a little as though breathless. "Most ardently".

"You do?" He asked, not at all sounding like his usual confident self, instead he seemed conscious and insecure.

"Of course I do, Nik," you laughed softly despite yourself and pressed your palms to his chest, hearing his heart thumping.

A look of pain flashed across his face that went unnoticed by you. He wanted so badly to kiss you senseless then and there, to tell her that he loves her too, that he adores her.

"I love you too," he admitted and his eyes glazed over, knowing that he had most probably given you a huge sense of hope and he hated himself for it. "But I'm so sorry, love. I can't take you with me".

Your heart had swelled for a fraction of second before returning back to being miserable. He held feelings for you too, it felt great to hear him say that. Then why on earth were your insides slowly but surely shattering one by one.

You gave up, not wanting to seem overly desperate though you had possibly crossed that already. You just wanted a yes, a simple three letter word that suddenly looked as if it carried all if the complexities of life.

The one thing you were glad about was that he hadn't made a move to kiss you.

What else was there to say? Absolutely nothing, nothing at all.

"Have a safe journey, Nikolai," you gave him a tight-lipped smile, pursing your lips to prevent another round of fresh tears as you turned around, accpeting your wait.

But he took hold of your hand, slowly walking closer till his chest brushed your back and made you face him. His palm went towards your right cheek as you leaned into his warm touch, "I'll come back. I'll come back for you, I promise".

You didn't say anything yet somehow he understood the unspoken question.

But would it be enough?

I love you so much," he cupped both of your cheeks and you saw the agony on his face. He wanted to kiss you deeply but was holding back, and you were glad.

You couldn't bring yourself to answer, as if someone had shut your vocal chords. But one look at the slow tears flowing down his face made you sigh loudly as you threw yourself in his arms.

"I love you too".

===============================

So I sneak out to the garden to see you. We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew, so close your eyes. Escape this town for a little while. 'Cause you were Romeo I was a scarlet letter and my Daddy said stay away from Juliet. But you were everything to me, I was begging you please don't go.

You couldn't contain your excitement, as could be observed from the slight bounce in your steps as you neared the spot that Nikolai had mentioned in his letter.

Surprisingly enough, your gentleman was already present making you raise your eyebrows. "You must've been punctual for the first time in your life, am I right?"

He turned around swiftly, a huge smile stretching his lips as he hungrily took you in. His gaze swept over you, going from your beautiful eyes, trailing down and lingering in your lips and going downwards.

It had been four months, and he seemed a tad bit older. A faint stubble dusting his face as he stepped closer with a smirk.

"Missed me, moya tsaritsa?" He laughed, arms being raised to catch you as though it was second nature for him.

"Keep dreaming, moi tsar," you chuckled close to his ears and then buried your head in his neck.

A deep sigh left his lungs as you two swayed on the spot before pulling back, not realizing the amount of tension present until the very last second.

Your breath hitched as his fanned yours, both set of eyes moving towards each other's lips, staring at the spot. And simultaneously they flitted back to look at the other, pausing for a second before leaning closer.

Absolute perfection, was all that could describe your kiss. It started of soft, as you both tested the waters and then found a rhythm unique to yourselves.

He stole another kiss before pulling away, looking quite dazed, "Saints that was, everything I dreamt of".

It was your time to smirk teasingly now, "You dreamt about me, Nik?"

"You have no idea just how much, darling".

A blush was quick to settle on your cheeks and you looked away, biting your lip to prevent a chuckle.

"No don't stop yourself, I wish to hear every single laughter of yours. These past months seemed like hell without you. I almost felt as though I'm bound to go insane without your jokes and annoying humour".

You grinned cheekily which later softened as your thumb caressed his cheek, "I felt the same. I honestly have no idea how I managed to spend all these days without you".

He simply smiled and tugged you so that your head would rest on his shoulder and you laughed internally at the hopeless romantic.

"How's everything at home?" He asked, leaning his head against yours.

Your body stiffened and he felt it almost immediately, "It's... A little tense I can say".

"Why? What's wrong?" He asked, eyes searching yours frantically. "Is it about the marriage thing again?"

"Partly yes, but they're also a little angry at you. They don't like us being in contact with each other. Father says you're giving me false hopes and I'll have my heart broken in the end".

He suddenly seemed alarmed and turned his entire body towards you, making sure you understand the seriousness in his words. "Okay first of all, there's no end in us. You and me, we're destined to be together, alright? And secondly, no way in hell am I going to be stupid enough to let go of one of the best things to happen in my life. I adore you too much for that ".

"I know," you said with equal sincerity. "And that's one of the reasons why my silly little heart opened its closed chambers for you that easily".

"It goes both ways, my love".

And then and there, it felt like you were going through a cardiac arrest.

My love.

My love.

All these years were spent with you two throwing terms of endearment at each other to a point where it became a habit. But he had only referred to you as his because of one particular nickname, and that was completely casual, almost an inside joke.

But this, it seemed way more intimate. And you were totally loving it.

===============================

And I said, Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone, I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run. You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess, it's a love story baby just say yes. Romeo save me they're trying to tell me how to feel, this love is difficult, but it's real. Don't be afraid we'll make it out of this mess, it's a love story baby just say yes.

"Father, I think we've been through this enough times now".

"And I think that it's now time to go over once more," he said, getting steadily angry.

"What is there to speak? You already know everything that's going on," you explained, hands wringing out helplessly.

"I've held on for a long, long time now. It has been 2 years for Saint's sake! There's no news of that boy, rumour has it that he's a pirate- A pirate?! And he's made no move whatsoever to contact you and I'm supposed to entertain the thought of your marriage? I don't think settling down has even crossed his mind".

"I understand," you tried to coax the fire in his eyes. "But you must also believe the fact that he loves me".

"And what has he done to prove this love?" He questioned sharply.

"I-" You didn't have an answer. Nikolai had made his affections quite clear through his actions, his words and his touches. But how could you possibly explain that when nobody was aware of you sneaking out to meet him.

"You are going to finalise a suitor, I'll have a complete list ready in three days," he ended the discussion with a finality in his tone.

"Father-"

"I have nothing more to say. Enough is enough now".

"Just- Just give him some time, please".

"Time? He had two years! According to me that seems more than enough already!"

"Two months?" You tried once again.

"No".

"One month?"

He raised his eyebrow, surprised and also unconvinced at the same time. "You think that someone who hasn't made an appearance in two years... Would suddenly pop up in thirty days?"

"Give him a chance," you said firmly now, despite the uncertainty crawling through you.

"Fine. You have a month, and if he doesn't show his face then I'm sorry to tell you, you're going to married off immediately".

"I agree," you nodded slowly and he left the room without further talks.

You heaved a breath, hands going to hold your head in agony. You yourself had no idea whether he would actually listen to you and come. But it was worth a try.

He was worth a try.

And what's the worst thing that could happen anways? He won't show up and you'd be forced to marry someone, atleast that someone would be of your choice, you thought bitterly.

You decided to sent him a letter filled with every bit of sentiment just so he could understand the severity of the situation. And you knew he would as he cared about you.

Nik,

I hope whatever you're doing out there is going on fine and you're safe and breathing. I wouldn't put it past you to be laughing madly once second and being shot by the next.

Things are becoming steadily interesting here, and also quite concerning. This is probably the first time in my entire life that I've felt such an amount of panic seize control of my mind.

I wish you were here, love. Would've really appreciated the comfort. But well, if you actually were here, it would be a whole lot different too.

I don't know what else to say, so I'm getting straight to the point. My father has now reached his limits, or even crossed them. He refuses to listen to me and wants to get me engaged in two months. I can't even blame him anymore, Nikolai. It has been two years since you left, and you're losing the only popularity that was there.

He has given you a month's time though, at my insistence. And this is most definitely the last time that he'll listen to any of my requests. You have a month, Nik, a month to get here and ask for my hand. And I'm writing to you to make sure that you will actually come and not make me a fool, though I know you like to laugh at me every once in a while.

You're coming home, you are coming back to me. You have to, or you're going to lose me forever. Be quick, my love. Please. I'm waiting here for you and now it has started to hurt me. My heart's paining from your absence, it craves the love and affection it so deserves. And you are the only one to ever fulfil that.

Consider this my last and final letter to you, Nikolai Lantsov. I don't think I'll be writing to you again. Saints I have absolutely no idea whether you still love me or not. I know deep inside that you do, you would always will. But maybe you found someone there? Someone who's taken more of your heart than I ever could. I don't know.

And now I feel even more conflicted. I think love is always worth making sacrifices for. But I'm not sure whether ours is still the same as it was... Your last letter to me was a year ago, my love. A lot can happen in that given time.

Sending my best wishes to you and whoever you work with. Tell them that I understand how difficult it is to do any type of job with you. You're a stubborn asshole nearly half of the time. And Nik, I hope you're happy.

Love,

Me.

===============================

And I got tired of waiting, wondering if you were ever coming around. My faith in you was fading, when I met you on the outskirts of town. And I said, Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone, I keep waiting for you but you never come.

What you were feeling couldn't actually be described, even by yourself. What did you even feel? Anger? Pain? Betrayal? Heartbreak? You weren't sure.

But it was making you really short-tempered and miserable the past two weeks. The month was soon ending, with only five days to go and your emotions were at their peak, scattering all around the place as you could slowly sense your heart breaking down into tiny pieces.

You had already chosen your soon to be husband as well. He was a friend, not a very close one but a familiar face nonetheless. Better than being tied to to a stranger.

And your family was starting to make all the arrangements too, them being sure that no way was Nikolai going to come back. What will only five days to go, they were a hundred percent sure, and you, you felt your belief in him wavering.

You sighed, slowly coming to terms with your destiny. Maybe it was not him, but you who was the hopeless romantic and fool all this time. You couldn't help but feel your faith melting away with every passing second.

And you didn't like that one bit. Since all the years you had known him, he hadn't given you a single reason to suggest that he would ever break your trust. Always keeping his every promise. Until now.

You had imagined that you were going to find your prince charming and be swept off your feet while being so in love. The prince part was bound to happen, but you weren't sure about 'charming'.

It would be unfair on your husband, though you had chosen him, your heart had already belonged to someone else.

It was tough to love someone, and even more difficult being in love with someone who wasn't coming back. You had waited, going against your families expectations and constantly earning yourself disappointed looks from each one of them.

But he let you down. The one man you thought would never even think of hurting you, now had you shattered.

You rested your head on your knees and hugged them while staring far away blankly, your face an open book to your soul.

And then the universe decided to bring in another huge twist that will completely alter your life in the form of something- or rather someone coming towards you.

You looked up alarmed at the sudden sound of hooves and squinted to see in the soft sunlight. When the person was close enough to be recognizable, your mouth hung open in utter shock and disbelief.

Nikolai Lantsov had arrived, you thought with wide eyes. And he was here to wreak havoc.

===============================

Is this in my head I dunno what to think. He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said, marry me Juliet you'd never have to be alone. I love you and that's all I really know. I talked to your Dad go pick out a white dress it's a love story baby just say, yes.

You moved a step forward, putting one foot after the other like you were in a trance, not conscious of your actions and unable to comprehend the situation.

There he was, your man. Standing feet apart from you.

You pressed your lips tightly to prevent the emotions raining down and blinked to get rid of the tears. "You came," you whispered with glossy eyes.

"You called," he said simply, tilting his head to admire you with tenderness.

Your restraints were surely slipping away as you wanted nothing more than to pull him in the tighest hug ever. But before you could act on it, he stepped back, making you look at him confused.

But then your eyes widened comically and you gaped as he got down on a knee, giving you a wink before opening a black leather box before you and presenting the beautiful ring with a small diamond glittering at the centre.

He knew you didn't like things that were overly fancy so he settled on a silver one with an elegant band encrusted with the hardest element.

Because like the diamond, your love too was subjected to immense pressure and together, you emerged victorious.

"I gave you a lot of trouble, didn't I?" He began his fully improvised speech and looked at you with a particular glint as though you were the one who hung those stars that he so loved.

"That might be an understatement," you joked despite your throat being blocked due to emotions.

"It is," he said genuinely, his statement completely opposite to your earlier humorous one. "And I'm terribly sorry for that, darling. I never in my wildest thoughts intended on hurting you or causing you any amount of pain".

"I know," you smiled comfortingly.

"I never really understood just how dependent I was on you. I never realized your significance in my life until you were about to go away. I-" he swallowed and his face contorted making your insides clench.

"But I'm here now and I'm never going to leave you alone, not again. I'll take you with me if I have to and I promise to be with you, always, for the rest of my life. I hope you give me that privilege by being mine and allowing me to become yours".

I was already yours to begin with. Right from the moment I understood what love was.

But you didn't voice anything, too busy in controlling yourself.

"I reflected on myself the past couple of days and I came to a conclusion. Everything somehow is alaays better with you, and everything has been better since you. I'll never find words that are beautiful enough to describe just what you mean to me, but I'd like to spend my lifetime searching for them".

"I love it when you smile, but I love it even more when I'm the reason for it. Will you let me be that cause? Will you help me in being a better version of myself just so I will be worthy of you? Will you marry me, my love?"

"You had always been worthy," you replied and couldn't help it as a fresh round of tears did fall down your cheeks as that three letter word came tumbling through your lips. The one that you had asked him before but he had denied and now he was the one to question, "Yes, yes, of course yes".

There was a sudden, loud burst of cheers and applause and you turned to see your family standing there, everybody having a huge grin on their faces as they watched Nikolai slip the ring on your finger.

"I love you, my princess," he pulled you closer by the waist and touched his forehead to yours.

"I love you, my heart," you smiled back and sealed the deal with a passionate kiss.

===============================

'Cause we were both young, when I first saw, you.

The day had finally come. After numerous struggles, fights and battles it had now arrived. It was Nikolai Lantsov's coronation.

The palace was in a state of frenzy. All the staff moving here and there to ensure that all the arrangements were fulfilled. The decorations done in the castle took its grandeur to another level. All the gifts brought in by other kings and royals showed the wealth and love received by Ravka.

You too had finished the touch ups on your face done by Genya Safin and were currently moving towards your bedroom in search of your husband. You opened the door and leaned against the doorframe with your arms crossed, taking in the sight.

The soon-to-be king was standing in front of his full sized mirror, a frustrated look on his face as he adjusted his clothes and hair every now and then, seemingly unhappy.

"What's the matter?" You asked and walked to stand beside him.

"How do I look?" The pure innocence in his question made you cackle hysterically while he just stared unimpressed.

"Sorry sorry," you grinned and he turned to give you his full attention, just now taking you in as he let his eyes wander.

"Oh for the love of Saints," he whispered and snaked his arm around your waist, pulling your body flush against his. You looked majestic, he thought in awe. His mouth hung open slightly and a faint blush dusted his cheeks.

"You look great too," you replied and your hands went around his neck. "Quite handsome".

He shook his head, "The glow that you carry with you is just so splendid that even the moon is nothing but a shadow in your light".

It was your turn to turn scarlet and you buried your face in his neck, feeling him chuckle as he pressed a kiss to your hair.

"Thank you," he said. "I don't really say it that much but I'm grateful for all the times you solved my problems and took vare of my worries again and again".

"For you, a thousand times over".

You had underestimated just how long the ceremony would be. You had been waiting impatiently and finally thr crown was placed on Nikolai's head.

The crowd erupted into cheers as they all celebrated their new king and you joined in enthusiastically, your face shining with pride.

Next it was your turn and you closed your eyes, feeling him intertwining his fingers with yours when the crown of the queen adorned you. The burden was already felt as though the citizens had decided to drop their worries on your shoulders and you vowed to be worthy of their trust.

"Long live the king! Long live the queen!" The priest said loudly and the people repeated after him with joy.

You two stood next to each other hand in hand and bowed respectfully. Making sure they understand that your actions were nothing but genuine. Hoping that they'd see that they weren't cheering and applausing for wastrels and show offs, but rather for two of the most loyal, brave and just rulers you'd ever come across. They were someome who would not hesitate to lay down their lives it it meant their people would be safe.

As soon as the ceremony was over the celebrations began. And as expected, you two had been pulled apart from each other. The crowds swarming you so they could get a chance to talk to their new royals.

You engaged in all of the conversations fairly well. Chatting, greeting and laughing with the guests while always keeping your smile intact. But after a point it was getting too much. You needed to get away and so you listened to your mind that was screaming for you to sit down.

Your eyes drifted around to land on him as naturally as ever. He was still laughing with the other guests and you couldn't fathom exactly how he managed it.

Your feet hurt and you tried your best to soothe your heels while simultaneously feeling the urge to rip your dress because you were sweating profusely.

Exhaustion lined your face making you sigh and you rested your palm on your cheek while closing your eyes. Hoping to get some amount of peace.

But a sudden poke to your shoulder just seconds later jolted you awake and you narrowed your eyes at the playing grin visible on the culprit's face.

"I was trying to get some sleep".

Nikolai simply smiled and took hold of your hands, pulling you in a standing position and successfully emitting a groan from you. After a moment though you relaxed and allowed your body to be slumped against his. He chuckled softly in your ears and caught you, securely wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you close.

"Missed me, moya tsaritsa?"

"Keep dreaming, moi tsar".

===============================

[my-midnight-musings-xoxo]

Light spoilers for Veil manga!

---

A few posts ago I mentioned writing about Veil, and as it's currently taking over my thoughts once again I thought it's best to muse about it. A simple summary of Veil: A blind woman named Emma literally stumbles into a police officer called Aleksander. They strike up a conversation and she mentions looking for a job. It just so happens the police station needs someone to take phone calls, and their story begins. It's told in vignettes, and every chapter builds on the sweet dynamic. I admit when I first saw Veil I thought it was a story meant to look pretty with little substance. I don't like being wrong, but I'm happy I was this time. The art is elegant, serene, and delicate, with almost every chapter having bonus sketches of Emma (and sometimes Aleksander) looking lovely and having cute character interactions. I was worried Emma would be infantilized in some way, but far from it. She's assertive, coy, playful, and sweet. They do address her being blind and how she navigates the world because of it, but she's more than her disability, and that makes me quite happy. Romance isn't my typical genre, so if it isn't yours either, I'd honestly recommend it. It's called Veil because there's a veil that tickles them, their relationship is between friendship and dating, which is one of my favorite parts. For years I've liked the thought of an intimate friendship, as I dubbed it. A relationship that isn't quite dating, but you're close and comfortable with each other. You're simply together without any need for strict labels to define you. I'm not quite sure if that's an actual thing, but Veil perfectly encapsulates what I'm poorly describing.

It's also just adorable. There's a cute chapter with Emma and Aleksander playing rock, paper, scissors with a kid at a stoplight. (I've been looking for minutes now and I cannot find it I'm so sorry!) When Aleksander keeps losing he convinces Emma to win for him. In Volume 2 Chapter 24: Present, Emma buys a suit for Aleksander, saying it was from an invisible man. Once he tries it on he picks her up, declaring he wants to see the invisible man too.

Tell me this isn't adorable.

If my ramblings have convinced you to read this manga, hooray! There's a playlist I'm listening to while writing this called 'Veil manga vibes' on Spotify by yuumin. It's perfect for reading this story.

If not, that's alright too. It's not for everyone, but thank you for reading this far anyway.

Veil actually inspired me to enjoy drawing again, no matter how silly or unfinished. There are also poems interspersed between the manga. Sometimes it's Aleksander talking about Emma, other times it's about inanimate objects viewing them. This is going to sound silly, but one of my favorites is about a key and a keyhole. Trust me, it's very cute. It's at the end of Volume 5, Chapter 48: To get drunk with.

Just to be a little presumptuous, if anyone's wondering I do plan on writing more about MadK. After the wonderful engagement on my J and Datenshou posts, I'm very grateful for all of the notes and reblogs by the way. It was a wonderful surprise to return to 25 notes and more than one reblog! I thought those two posts wouldn't do very well, J's especially, I'm glad you do. I can't thank you in person, as much as I'd like to. With such nice responses, it's boosted my confidence to post more about MadK. I might analyze Makoto's design this week! Have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening/night and stay hydrated!

I hope I've made at least one person a Veil fan today, hehe. <3

[hydrolunamens]

Aim for My Mouth

The implicit shenanigans of S2E4 of Good Omens

The first viewing of The Hitchhiker (Nazi Zombie Flesheaters) confused me. I didn’t understand why the events of 1941 were unfolding the way they were - surely Crowley could find more whiskey to peddle? surely Mrs. H wouldn’t accept an understudy magician as a replacement for bootleg booze?? surely Aziraphale could have helped Crowley in some useful way rather than this silly stage performance??? (Also, zombies, really?)

But after viewing it several more times (yes I know I’m obsessed) this has become my favorite episode. It has a whole lot of what my nasty little heart desires from the Aziraphale/Crowley relationship, by which I mean a whole lot of implicit sexiness. I love the juxtaposition of this adorable story about our favorite ethereal/occult partners against the ridiculous zombie element - the zombies balance the tone so this does not feel exactly like a Richard Curtis film. Because if not for the exploits of hell and the undead, this episode would be more obviously the point in the romantic comedy where the main characters show the audience how good their chemistry is, making you itch to see them get together in the end.

The first thing to realize is that after Crowley rescues Aziraphale from the Nazis in the church, everything else that happens has been expressly planned out by Crowley in order to take Aziraphale on an amazing date, bespoke entirely to the angel’s whims and desires. One imagines Aziraphale has expressed disappointment at not being enough of a conjurer to visit the professional magic shop, so Crowley plots out this whole scenario to give the Angel the chance to actually perform, presenting the opportunity through a thin layer of “coincidence.” Sucks to be the magician who gets arrested for desertion, but the humans were probably going to do that sooner or later anyway, right? Why not simply fix it so it happens on the night Crowley knows he will meet up with Aziraphale? Chalk another one up for hell with that move too… which is another thing Crowley has to layer over this evening.

So at the theater the Angel is offered another temptation he simply can’t resist (and it’s not selfish at all! he’s helping his friend, not indulging in a fantasy, dontcha know) and now our beings are really dancing. This is where the sexiness ramps up… if you don’t count that moment in the car where Aziraphale asks Crowley if there’s anything he can do to return his favor, a line which is delivered like the flimsy setup of a scene in an adult film after the repairman fixes the housewife’s washing machine.

They go back to the shop, where they get to engage in a bit of roleplay and Crowley especially gets to live out a voyeur scenario while he watches Aziraphale perform. This voyeurism is humorously echoed by the zombies watching them too… again, if it weren’t for these zombies, we might go into insulin shock from how sweetly sexy this plot is. While Aziraphale shows off to Crowley, we learn another motive for why Crowley chose this particular activity for their big date night - he’s going to make Aziraphale forget all about this loser Professor Hoffman. Who got you on the west end stage, Angel? That’s right, your demon husband, not the mortal you were spending too much time with a decade ago.

Crowley starts letting his guard down in the shop scene, though he still has to put on a performance of his own as a “lonely American G.I.” to stay comfortable while he praises Aziraphale’s tricks. At least he can take off his glasses. He is really lavishing Aziraphale with words of affirmation (if Crowley’s love language is acts of service, Aziraphale’s is words of affirmation), and then he finally gets to suggest the big treat - visiting the exclusive magic shop, which he absolutely knows is just over the road as he sniffs and glances out the window. Like he’s asking his partner if he’s sure there’s nothing more in a box of chocolates in which he’s hidden a ring - which now as I’m writing it out, there’s definitely a point being made about a ring being used against them in this story.

Anyway, we get to the magic shop, and Aziraphale is absolutely giddy, to the point where he’s making sexy sounds over sets of rings (more rings!) and Crowley is basking in it. Throughout the whole scene, a snake statuette is sitting on the display case… forgive my absolutely filthy mind, but is this rising snake statue not a perfect symbol of the attraction Crowley is feeling right now?

Then Aziraphale finds the gun trick. Not only is shooting a gun a metaphor for dangerous sex, but we get a glimpse into Aziraphale’s hedonistic desires to try everything this world has to offer and Crowley’s lack of experience with explicit violence. This mutual surprise lights up their chemistry even brighter - Aziraphale couldn’t let himself be attracted to Crowley if Crowley actually hurt people (though he’s hanging onto that idea until Crowley finally tells him he’s never shot a gun) and Crowley wouldn’t be so interested in Aziraphale if he wasn’t just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing. (This also really screams to me that Aziraphale has probably had sex but Crowley has not, another dynamic I especially adore, but anyway)

Crowley did not expect the involvement of firearms in this grand gesture date, but he cannot resist Aziraphale’s enthusiasm, and agrees to do it as long as they stay safe. Which of course, they won’t. Though Crowley had taken some care to make sure this looks above board to both heaven and hell, this entire night is a wildly risky display of the partnership between him and Aziraphale.

When they actually get to the stage, the dramatic tension builds and builds - you can hear it especially in the music. Is it because they’re about to get caught? Yes, but damn if it doesn’t also feel a bit like the tension that builds before… release. I feel like there are a few lines that highlight the idea that this stage performance is a sex analogue. “Aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear” is both an innocent instruction and utterly debauched, and Crowley asking “I squeeze this bit here, do I not?” has the same double entendre feeling. Mrs. H shouting “Get on with it already!” feels like the Greek chorus of Good Omens fandom crying-screaming-throwing up over our desire to see these two smash. They are also the most human we’ve ever seen them in this scene, because their miracles have been blocked - and you know what humans get up to, right?

So Crowley aims, shows a lot of hesitation, they mouth things to each other, Aziraphale encourages him, and boom! Crowley shoots perfectly somehow (just good luck or proof of the special mojo he and Aziraphale have when they work together? Unclear) and everyone is elated, especially Crowley and Aziraphale. They did it! No paperwork! They can shoot at each other til kingdom come! Send out the sexy girls so these soldiers don’t notice they just watched two man-shaped beings smash!

Alas, we only get the briefest of afterglows as they’re hanging out (snuggling) backstage. Hell tramples in and spoils their moment, reminds them there are severe consequences to sexy little stage performances together, and Crowley is nearly ripped apart from Aziraphale forever - something Aziraphale is constantly anxious about anyway. Hell doesn’t send rude notes, you know. He’s always afraid of what hell will do to Crowley. Aziraphale perfectly performs the sleight of hand that saves them somehow (again, is it luck? Or is it their special powerful love magic?) and they get to retreat back to the safety of the bookshop.

Crowley has a bit of a jealous boyfriend moment where he tells Aziraphale to cut the magic act he learned from Prof Hoff (it still feels a little overly mean to me, but jealous boyfriends do be saying shit like that) and they talk to each other more intimately and directly than we usually see them talk. Of course, because it’s pillow talk. These two just had sex and got away with it. Let Aziraphale do his apology dance in the morning. They’ll always have this night.

[wainwrightjakobshammerlock]

U will NEVER guess which ship I'm gunna send u for the ship ask game

(It's Wainlock. Free pass to ramble about Wainlock!)

They were the thing that got me into this fandom proper, I am not going to lie. Ergo, the time I started shipping them - around Feburary and March 2020 - is the time I consider my Borderlands era to have started.

To say my thoughts on them here would be redundant, and take me ages. Just look at the rest of my blog, and you'll see.

Everything, and I find new things to love in them almost every single day. There is just so much. The domesticity, the dynamics, the passion and devotion, the symbolism, good lird the symbolism. They are everything 2 me

I mean. I'm not sure? Of course they've gone through sad things in canon but like... I'm not sure if this is what the question was asking. Conceptually, they are perfect

I'm the writer of over one third of all Wainlock fanfic and artist of Gythian knows how much of all Wainlock fanart, so really when I engage with other people's content... well, beggars can't be choosers. My main issue is that they're not being included in fic enough, even in cases where they logically should be present - or, if they are, they are 5 second cameos. That being said there was this fic I read I think like a day or two ago that mentioned them yelling at eachother, and like... huh? They can communicate very well with eachother, I do not think it would ever come to that unless it was a terrible situation. It was OOC. Also I cannot stand either of them being cisgender

As I said above, beggars can't be choosers. There are things in Wainlock fanfic I adore of course, but, y'know.

Absolutely fucking no one else, nuh uh, never in my life ever, nope, nein, nada, no, nie. I specifically avoid content that ships either of them with someone else (unless it's explicitly an ex, or it's past/bl2/tps era hammertorgue bc it fits my silly little hc) because frankly it makes me uncomfortable atp.

I would say the JFV endgame but tbh the JFV endgame is more... confusing than a happily ever after, and maybe a bit too esoteric. JFV proper is a good enough estimate, I think, but of course that story is still evolving. Canon-wise, I'd love for them to adopt a few kids and live out their golden years in joy as they deserve. Also Wainwright can and should become a class traitor, it is the most logical and coolest way for his arc to conclude and in this essay I w

Wainwright is the big spoon, out of necessity. Alistair simply does not have the necessary limbs to be the big spoon, and what limbs he has aren't really well suited for long cuddles.

Reading together (sometimes in a parallel play fashion, sometimes one of them reads out loud to the other), deep and profound discussions (preferably late at night, or over tea and cookies, or while sharing a good cigar), non-sexual but still physical intimacy like cuddles or helping with dressing up/hygiene (they CANNOT keep their hands to eachother and if it was not for their somewhat PDA-averse reserved gentleman nature the Vault Hunters would be finding them bundled up in one armchair in a different position every time they'd return to Knotty Peak).

[neonscandal]

9 Anime to Watch if You Want to Feel Like This 👇🏾

At the heart of everything, anime (and manga) is an expressive art form worthy of being appreciated. If you're looking to break your art block or perhaps you just want something scintillating to look at, these short series/movies are worth a view.

Promare (movie) - Studio: Trigger and XFLAG

Trippy dippy effects and uncommonly contrasting color palettes (triads and squares), this action movie is dazzling and the character design, for some reason, reminds me of something retro that I’m having trouble putting my finger on. The movie logo for the film is a nod to Akira for sure. The film focuses on the hunt for flame wielding mutants who are believed to be a danger to themselves and others. Kind of like Fire Force but with mechas.

Sub/Dub | HBO Max

The God of High School (series) - Manwha by Yongje Park, Studio: Mappa

This was actually one of the first anime I watched upon getting back into anime and was the first indication of how far animation and design had come since my last nerd phase ended in like 2005/2006. The more I caught up, the more I realized a lot of my favorite projects were animated by Mappa which is no surprise. I chose to include TGHS for its brevity (to meet the bite size requirement for these recs) but also I adored the character design (which was a departure from shows I’d watched previously) and the storyline focuses on the action you can only get during training arcs or tournament arcs in your favorite shonen shows. This was a fun watch that accomplished that and forged a friendship you root for in an abridged format.

Sub/Dub | HBO Max

Devilman Crybaby (series) - Manga: Gou Nagai, Studio: Science SARU

So many simps for Devilman Crybaby so I had to see for myself. The series is not going to be everyone’s cup of tea unless you like your tea topped with titillating carnage, fornication and light body horror. The story is dark and debaucherous as main character Fudo evolves into Devilman having merged with a demon. The whole series is a sad and lonely trip that oscillates between the banal depiction and color of “everyday life” and the saturated and starkly contrasted psychedelic scenes of the underbelly of a demonized/sinful subculture. The series explores the beauty and hideousness of human nature and our tendency to cannibalize those that stand against mob prejudice and mentality.

Sub/Dub | Netflix

Bubble (movie) - Manga: Erubo Hijihara, Studio: Wit Studio

On this list, you’ll probably find more than a few recommendations that have a water or space element simply because of how enchanting I find them to be. Bubble is a modern retelling of The Little Mermaid’s traditional story and it has gorgeous animation that translates in its action scenes as well as in the more delicate details.

Sub/Dub | Netflix

FLCL (series) - Studios: Gainax, Production IG, Signal.MD, REVOROOT, NUT

Based on that lineup of studios, you can probably imagine the chaos that is FLCL and still not come close. Artistically, it’s interesting? But this show and each of its iterations really shines for its innovative and unexpected concept that I’m not sure is ever truly clear. It’s just weird and expressive in a way that makes sense when you’re coming into yourself. How it can be raw and awkward and difficult to confront. I won’t say that the show is stylistically avant-garde but it manages to animate and bring into fruition that discomfort for the viewer and I think that’s the goal.

Sub/Dub | Hulu

Nanbaka (series) - Manga: Shou Futamata, Studio: Satelight

Over saturated is an UNDERSTATEMENT. The flamboyant and garish character designs paired with scintillating visuals despite taking place in a prison adds to the humor in this series about a group of prisoners’ attempts to escape an inescapable prison. It’s made even funnier because, usually in shows with superpowers or supernatural elements, they’re generally explained somehow through exposition. Nope, not here just powerz✨ it has an ever present silly and fun veneer masking an underlying harshness that surfaces every so often. All in all, the series has the potential to be a Haha that Ends in Tears (*ahem* Assassination Classroom).

Sub/Dub | Crunchyroll

Ponyo (movie) - Studio: Studio Ghibli

I’m surprised this is only the second water focused show so far but no list about beautiful anime would be complete without at least one Studio Ghibli feature. Ponyo is another adaptation of the Little Mermaid that allows for dizzying imagery of marine life (as above) that also features a signature Ghibli food scene (uh, yea, slide me a bowl of that ham ramen, Sosuke). Something about the dulcet color palettes of Studio Ghibli films always feels like home on a rainy day with a comforting bowl of soup.

Sub/Dub | HBO Max

Weathering With You (movie) - Studio: CoMix Wave Films

Speaking of beautiful food, CoMix is another studio that just gets it right ✨ The way they capture rain, light, fireworks, skylines… just dumbfounding. This piece, in particular, is a perfect deluge into magical realism especially in moments of Hina’s transcendence. The film follows a runaway who strides to start a life in Tokyo and meets his very own Sunshine Girl. “Your Name” is also worth checking out and hails from the same studio but isn’t available without buying or renting (and I try to keep recs relatively convenient and inexpensive).

Sub/Dub | HBO Max

Blue Period (series) - Manga: Tsubasa Yamaguchi, Studio: Seven Arcs

OKAY. Maybe I’m cheating with this one. An art appreciation recommendation about art? Is this subversive or the opposite therein? Don’t care. The premise of this show and what lends to its beauty is that it’s about art. Follow aimless Yaguchi as he falls down the rabbit hole of oil painting in his second year of high school then works his ass off to close the gap between himself and other college hopefuls trying to get into a competitive public art college. The way the animation takes care to provide texture for each medium that’s experimented with. TBH, the show made me nostalgic for when I was in traditional art classes at college. This show had me shopping for drawing benches with back support at my big age. So if you’re experiencing a block, fall in love with art again by checking this show out.

Sub/Dub | Netflix

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[johnkrrasinski]

𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜

Chapter 4: hell was the journey but it brought me heaven (final)

full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work

Pairings: bucky barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,943

Summary: blessed with telepathic abilities since birth, you were captured by HYDRA and turned into one of their weapons to kill. after the blip, you were pardoned by the government and you were obliged to check up with dr. raynor everyday which you had no clue would lead you to the one soul you’d been waiting for.

Warnings: SMUT!! (18+) dirty talk, oral (female receiving), fingering, shower sex, happy ending.

A/N: this series is dedicated to the lovely @ohmickeyhenry who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for trusting me with your story. i sincerely hope you like it.

You sat on the front porch as your fingers flipped through the page of the romance novel you had your nose in. It was a beautiful day, the weather wasn’t too hot or too cold, perfect to spend hours escaping into a story outside. Alpine purred on the chair where Bucky would sit if he was here but he wasn’t because he was on an overseas mission with Sam and though you offered to come with him, Tony said that it would be best if you sat this one out. You didn’t take it personally, however, it was hard to be separated from him for nearly a month.

Bucky said he’d be coming home soon and though the mission kept delaying them to come home, Bucky called and texted you every day to let you know that he was alright and how far on completing the mission had they gone. You were glad that Sam and Bucky had each other while you weren’t around to take care of him because you knew that Sam was the only person who could ground him other than you.

You and Bucky had been together for nearly five months now, after your recovery in Wakanda and adjusting to the new life of being superheroes, you both decided that you wanted to settle in a more remote place. All of the Avengers had their own places outside of the compound so you thought, why don’t you get yours? You talked about getting your own place in Brooklyn but eventually, you came to a decision where somewhere in the country would be better for both of your mental beings, while also still residing in the New York area so that you’d be ready in case there are emergency missions.

Since moving to the countryside, you had felt much more at peace and you had learned more about yourself than before. You were in the middle of the process of moving in when Bucky was needed by Tony to take care of an international matter with Sam, so Tony helped call in some people to help you with your stuff.

The place you had with Bucky was lovely, it wasn’t anything big or swanky, it was simply a rural rustic home that blends woods and stones as the foundation. It had a large loft where you placed your bed, and the roof had upper windows which shed lights into the entire room. It was even more stunning at night where you could see the stars and the moon that illuminated the dark space. From the veranda, you could enjoy the beautiful view of greenery and the lake surrounding you. It was heaven, but most importantly, it was your and Bucky’s little heaven.

You’d often feel lonely living in the cabin, so you decided to adopt a cat while Bucky was away. You didn’t tell him because you wanted it to be a surprise. You named her Alpine. You’d always wanted to have a pet and now that you had your own place, you could have one without worrying it would bother anyone.

You talked to Bucky this morning and he estimated that he’d be coming home in two days, which means he’d be home by his birthday. You couldn’t think of a more perfect gift than this adorable, blue-eyed cat. It was as if she got them from her dad whom she had yet to meet. You also wanted to make his birthday and celebrate his coming home more special so you put down the book and went to the grocery store in town that afternoon to shop for the ingredients to bake a cake.

You had learned a lot of new things after you moved here, and baking was quickly becoming your hobby, so you were excited to utilize that new skill to surprise the love of your life. You spent the next day in the kitchen so once Bucky walked through the front door, the cake would be ready to be served. You were giddy thinking about the look on his face and how proud you would feel to make him happy with something you made of your own.

You were lying on your couch with Alpine by your feet, reading the book that you didn’t get to finish yesterday when you heard your phone notifying you a text had been received.

I’m outside, babydoll.

You instantly got up from your couch and put your book on the table. Your first thought this morning was Bucky would back to your arms this afternoon and you were ecstatic. You had missed him terribly and you wanted to curl up in his embrace and never let him go. He was your anchor and you were his rock, you both needed each other to get through the days. How you managed to survive so long without him was beyond you.

You chose a nice outfit, nothing fancy just a simple sundress that you feel your best in, put on some makeup and did your hair. Though you didn’t have a clue on makeup products, let alone apply them all over your face, you did spend a handful of times watching Youtube for guidance. You knew you didn't have to put all that effort to keep Bucky in love with you but you wanted to do something nice for him. For the first time in forever, you were a free woman who was allowed to make her own choices, you were going to revel in exploring them.

You opened the door and there he was, as handsome as the devil, as gentle as an angel. Everything about him captivated you yet, he soothed every nervous system in your body too. He was grinning at you like he had just won a prize and you couldn’t help but throw yourself at him as soon as the door was fully opened. “Bucky!”

He hugged you back, holding you so tightly to his chest and he kissed you as a lover would until you needed air. “You’re a sight for sore eyes,” he swept the hair that was falling on your face, slightly hiding your beauty.

You smiled at his flattery, “I got a surprise for you…”

“A surprise?” He looked genuinely perplexed. “What’s the occasion?”

“It’s your birthday, silly. And to celebrate you coming home, of course, because I missed you so badly.”

“Sweetheart, you don't need to get me anything, you’re all the blessing I need in my life.”

“And you are mine, but you deserve more. So, close your eyes.” You ordered him like you were an excited 10 years old ready to show off her science project to her parents. He did as he was told and you took his hand and led him to the kitchen where his cake was sitting perfectly. “Don’t open your eyes until I tell you!”

He chuckled, “okay.”

Bucky trusted you wholeheartedly so he didn’t worry he’d walk into a wall or slam his hips to the kitchen counter as he was being led down to where his cake was. “Okay, now open your eyes.” He did so and he saw you standing behind the tiny dining table, near the kitchen chanting Ta-Da! Presenting a chocolate birthday cake, in the shape of a heart in front of you.

You lit up the candles that were in the shape of 106 and you brought the cake closer to him, “happy birthday, my love.”

Bucky was grinning from ear to ear, he couldn’t contain the happiness swelling in his heart. While he was on his bike, driving from the compound to his cabin-like home, all he expected was a warm shower and being tangled between the sheets with you. Since he was turned into The Winter Soldier, he no longer cared about birthdays or his age. Time felt blurry and all that mattered was his purpose in his life which is to make amends to the wrongs he committed during his winter soldier days and the few people that he cared about.

But now you were in his life, you were going to make sure his birthdays are special and that every second you both spent together was precious. “I got another surprise for you…” You walked to the couch to carry Alpine and when Bucky saw her, his eyes lit up.

“You got us a cat?!” You handed her to Bucky gently like a newborn baby and Bucky cradled her to his chest, looking like an affectionate father.

“I did. I felt lonely while you were away so I thought I’d get a pet now that we’ve got our own place and I saw her at the shelter when I went to town and she looked so adorable, I just had to take her home, Buck,” you watched Bucky lovingly stroke the cat’s ear.

“I never had a pet before…”

“I know, and neither had I so I thought, the three of us would make a wonderful family.”

“Thank you, doll. This is… This is the best birthday gift I could ever ask for.”

“You’re welcome, love. By the way, her name’s Alpine.”

Bucky nodded, “suits her.”

“Now, as delicious as that cake looks, I really need to take a shower, would you mind joining me?” Bucky held out his hand for you.

“There’s nothing else I’d rather do,” Bucky took your hand and carried you in bridal style to your bathroom, which had rustic walls like the rest of the house and dark brown sink vanity with a mirror at the centre above.

Bucky put you down and you both began stripping out of your clothes. You helped Bucky with his once yours were on the hanger because you wanted to feel him, really feel him now. Once only his boxer remained, you slid the shower glass door and you pulled him, giggling like teenagers trying to sneak out in the middle of the night as he struggled to take off his boxer with the way you were pulling him.

You turned on the shower, just warm enough to soothe your nerves and help Bucky relax. Bucky cupped your face and you both began making out, the stream of water made it difficult to keep your eyes open but you always got so lost in his kisses that you could never keep your eyes open even if you wanted to. It felt like heaven to feel those lips again after a month of his absence.

Bucky lifted you and you wrapped your legs around his waist. He slammed you to the bathroom glass as he dominated your mouth, his tongue tangled with yours as his vibranium arm leaned against the glass. Bucky trailed kissed to the column of your neck and you threw your head back, giving him easier access. He bit the skin, marking you as his.

The water kept flowing down and you both forgot what you were there for in the first place. “Oh, missed you so fucking much, doll.”

“I missed you too,” you said as you panted.

“Those nude pictures you sent weren’t helping either. Each time I see you naked, it went straight to my cock. It was torture not to have you right away.” Bucky put you down and kissed your body, down to your stomach until he reached the part where you needed him most. Bucky lifted your right leg onto his shoulder and kissed the inside of your thigh as he left a love bite with his teeth there too.

You didn’t mind, you were his as much as he was yours and you loved it when he got a little rough or possessive, though you knew Bucky would never hurt you and if he did, you wouldn’t hesitate in telling him. But you loved to walk around with his marks on you, you wore them proudly.

Bucky dipped his head to your core, tasting your arousal like a famished man. He had been deprived of your taste for a month, he wasn’t going to hold back. He could spend hours in between your legs if you let him and he’d never get tired of it. Bucky licked a stripe of your slit, making you throw your head back again and moan.

He grabbed your arse to keep you standing, with the way he was devouring you, your thighs began to shake, and you would’ve crumbled to the floor if he wasn’t holding you. You tugged his hair, keeping his face close to your cunt. You couldn’t help but grind yourself onto his face and you could feel him smirking.

The way his stubble grazed your delicate skin was tantalizing, you’d tried to close your legs a few times around his head but he always held them back. You could feel your muscles tightening, but before you could burst, Bucky put your leg to the floor and he stood up, kissing you again and you could taste your arousal all over his tongue. It was erotic yet intimate at the same time.

Bucky grabbed your hips and spun you around, you could feel his stiff member nudging you from behind as you both fought for dominance with your tongues. Bucky took a fistful of your hair and lifted your head back, once again trailing open-mouthed kisses to your throat. His fingers made their way down to your clit, rubbing it in circles furiously as if you weren’t soaked enough already from the way his tongue ingurgitated you.

You whimpered at his touch, the way he always knew how to light up every cell in your body with his touch was a wonder. It was as if your body had given itself completely to him and it was going to comply with whatever his touch tells you to do. Like the way you willingly bared your soul to him, you didn’t fight it at all, let the love and passion you had for each other consume you.

“You’re dripping all over my hand, doll.”

“I need you to fuck me now, please.” You were losing your mind with the way he was stimulating you, you needed to have him inside you now.

“Anything for you, baby.”

Bucky used your wetness to lubricate his member, making it easier for him to slide in. You leaned against the glass with your hands against it as he gripped your hip with his flesh hand and your shoulder with his vibranium one. Bucky pushed himself until he was fully sheathed and he groaned, “oh fuck, I ain’t gonna last long. Missed this tight cunt so much.”

Bucky gave you a few seconds to adjust to his size, and once you told him to move, he began with slow paces. You threw your head back and leaned against his shoulder as he kept thrusting in and out of you at a faster speed. Bucky moved his vibranium arm to your hip and wrapped his flesh hand around your jaw, directing it to his face so he could kiss you deeply.

The sounds of your skin slapping were salacious. Bucky felt you clenched around him and the coil in your stomach tightened. His fingers that were gripping your waist once again furiously rubbed your clit, igniting the fire in your muscles. Your cries grew louder as his rhythm began to falter, and the dam in you broke, your squirts streamed down your thighs, clouding your brain with pleasure.

Bucky started to get messy as he chased his own orgasm. He followed you to the place of euphoria, releasing himself deep inside you, panting your walls with hot white gush. Bucky leaned his forehead against the glass as he breathed heavily with his heart thumping against his chest. His weight on your back was comforting so you stayed there for a while until you both began to come down from your highs.

Bucky pulled out of you and his orgasm ran down your thighs, following yours. You turned around to face him and kiss him again. “That was fucking amazing,” Bucky said as he cleaned you up.

“I should be the one doing that, I wasn’t the one who just came home from a one month mission,” you retorted as you watched him going down to scrub your thighs where your juices were sticking on your skin.

“Well, now that I’m here, let me take care of my girl, will ya?”

You only chuckled and eventually, you both helped rinsed each other off. Once the shower was done, Bucky dried you with a towel and carried you to your bed, which he had yet to sleep on since it got here.

Life was a funny thing. Sometimes it dragged you down to hell, making you question if you had ever committed such a heinous crime in your previous life that cost you such misery in your present. But then, slowly but surely, the journey that you had to endure, led you to your fate, for better or for worse.

You couldn’t change where you had been and what you had done, but you could choose how you were going to redeem yourself and how you were going to spend the remaining years of your life now. You didn’t know much about your future as an Avenger. Hell, you were barely an Avenger, to begin with, but eventually, when you were ready, you knew there’d be nothing too big to overcome because you had Bucky by your side to walk through the storm with.

You didn’t have the privilege to believe in mystical things such as lucky stars but you were going to thank whatever was out there for the invisible string that tied you to Bucky.

tags; @ohmickeyhenry @suitofvibraniumarmor @themaddies-obx @themaddies-obx @beminetokeep @bluemoon-icecream @bluemoon-icecream-blog @harprs @thefridgeismybestie @abitofeverythingg @wolfonthemoonwatchestvshows @julimelodi @bookscoffeandotherstuff @tanyaherondale @artisancowbells @ferxaniti @intothesoul @hallecarey1 @buckybarnesplumwhore @thefallenbibliophilequote @andiyholly @emizla @capxwinter @jevans2 @alwaysreadingimagineschick @swtltlmrvlgrl @extremelyblackandwhite

[awhitehead17]

Batfam Alphabet: J - Joker Junior (JJ)

Summary: When Dick is joined by his brother’s alter personality he struggles to complete his case work. JJ can be rather distracting especially when Dick has to keep a constant eye on him because he can’t be trusted to be on his own. 

A/N: This story references to torture and self harm, nothing in graphic detail but please don't read if that makes you uncomfortable. This story is based where Tim had been kidnapped by the Joker and turned into Joker Junior. 

Enjoy! :D 

“Don’t. Put it back. Now.”

There’s a few beats of a silence and without looking he could tell his orders haven’t been followed. “Don’t make me tell you again.”

Seconds later there’s a clanging of metal which indicates he’s been finally listened too. Dick takes a deep breath in and slowly lets it out before turning his focus back onto the task at hand.

He’s currently re-reading old case files looking for any names, locations, alibies that could possibly be linked into the current case he’s working. It’s a tedious task but it needs to be done. That being said it would be a lot easier if current company wasn’t present. It was rather distracting having to split his focus two ways so he could try and work as well as keep an eye on the kid at the same time.

This time Dick’s read no more than a paragraph when the sound of moving metal could be heard yet again.

Sighing in resignation, he shuts the file and turns around to face the rest of the cave. His eyes instantly drift over to the weapons table where his companion currently is at. The kid is frozen in place, staring wide-eyed at Dick knowing he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing. It’s like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar, only in this situation the cookie is a dagger rather than an edible treat.

Opposite him the kid silently blinks owlishly, it would actually be an adorable sight if it weren’t for the creepy ass grin stretching across his face. It’s the grin that reminds Dick who he’s dealing with. It isn’t Tim who is standing in front of him but rather his alternate personality, JJ.

JJ first appeared about two years ago after Tim had been captured and tortured by the Joker. The best explanation they could come up with for his appearance is that JJ is Tim’s way of detaching himself from the traumatic experience he had. JJ is the result of the horrendous torture Tim went through.

It’s certainly taken everyone some time to adjust to this development. Even now, years later, everyone is still getting used to it. Tim is here, he’s still present and is the core identity, but JJ occasionally makes an appearance especially when Tim is feeling threatened, extremely stressed or emotionally unstable.

The whole thing has been a learning curve for everyone involved. Even Tim had to learn to deal with it. At first he understandably didn’t accept what was happening but over time he seem to concede with it and even come to some sort of agreement with JJ, apparently the two identities can communicate no matter who’s in control. Tim’s tried to explain it to him in the past but it’s pretty mind boggling so Dick simply believes what Tim is saying and doesn’t ask questions.

He can’t help but feel a little disturbed by JJ’s presence, it’s an unfair feeling because it’s not JJ’s fault – or Tim’s – but being reminded of what his little brother had to endure at the hands of an insane psychotic man is unnerving. It’s like a reminder of how he didn’t protect his little brother and how he failed him by not being good enough.  

He knows the others also share similar feelings. Jason simply stays away from JJ, he doesn’t even enter the same room as him. Damian is constantly on edge when JJ is present, he often carries his katana around with him when they’re near one another. Cass happens to be the one who handles JJ the best, her calm demeanour seems to bizarrely settle JJ a little. Bruce… well Bruce has similar thoughts to him of how he failed to protect Tim, but both as a father and a mentor. He’s sat down with JJ and has had a conversation with him, they seemed to come to some sort of agreement which Dick doesn’t know the details of. Alfred, god bless him, takes it all in stride as he does with everything. Everyone else is weary of him but are civil towards him as much as they can be.

“JJ, I told you to put it down. Why did you pick it back up?” Dick questions after a long drawn out silence.

JJ plays with the dagger in his hands, twisting it this way and that with skilled precision. He blinks again and lets out a giggle. “Timmy needs to be punished.”

Dick frowns at the answer. That’s not what he had been expecting. “Why does Tim need to be punished? What has he done?”

“He failed us.”

JJ says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world but Dick has no idea what he’s on about. How has Tim failed? All Dick knows is that recently Tim’s been busy with the Titan’s and how he’s been working on his Neon Knights programme.

“What happened?”

JJ doesn’t respond and continues to play with the dagger in his hands. Seeing the sharp blade being toyed with makes Dick feel tense, he knows what kind of damage can be done with a weapon like that and he doesn’t want Tim – and by extension JJ – to get hurt.

“Timmy needs to be punished!” JJ repeats agitatedly. He stops playing with the dagger and grips it in both hands, Dick couldn’t help but wince when he sees the blade dig into the skin of his palms. “When someone fails they get punished. When they are bad they get punished! Timmy has to be punished for what he did.” JJ trails off with a high pitched giggle like the idea of punishment is hilarious.

Dick runs a hand over his face, he’s not getting anywhere here. Where’s Cass when you need her? She’s usually better at dealing with this side of JJ than he is.

“You know that physically punishing Tim also means you hurting yourself, don’t you?” Dick suggests evenly, trying a different tactic. “There are other ways than physical pain to deal with these sort of things.”

Dick has an inkling he knows what this is all about but he doesn’t want to jump to conclusions just yet.

JJ lets out an uncontrollable giggle. “Silly Big Bird, I don’t feel pain, Uncle J made sure of that. Timmy on the other hand needs to pay for what he did and physical pain is the best way to teach a lesson so he remembers not to do it again.”

As if to prove a point, that’s when a drop of blood drips from JJ’s hand and lands on the floor. JJ doesn’t even notice. Dick tries to not flinch at the sight it, he hates the idea of his little brother hurting, no matter what it is it’s always hard to witness.

“I understand that you may be frustrated JJ, but why don’t you try talking to Tim instead. Tell him how you feel about whatever it is that he did and explain why you’re upset with the situation.” Dick suggests trying to sound as reasonable as he could.

JJ violently shakes his head, he seems to be getting more riled up as the conversation continues.

“No! Talking doesn’t work! He ignores me and doesn’t listen. The mission failed and he put us in danger for no reason, we could have been killed for nothing. He needs to remember to not do that again. I’ll make sure he remembers not to.”

Dick lets out a hum in acknowledgement. Something they’ve come to notice since JJ’s appearance is how protective, and even possessive, he is of Tim. The key thing is how no one is allowed to hurt Tim in anyway whatsoever, if they do then JJ will go on a vengeful rampage against whoever was responsible for it. That includes Tim himself.

To JJ, Tim putting himself in danger is essentially Tim hurting himself and he really doesn’t like that. It’s happened a couple times in the past, so in response to Tim putting himself in danger (often during missions) JJ feels the need to punish Tim for it.

Taking a deep breath Dick stares at the kid and wonders how he should proceed. He can’t just turn around and say “no” or retaliate because JJ will only get defensive and probably go do something much worse as a result. While Dick ponders, JJ stands there opposite him still gripping the dagger tightly in his hands with a small puddle of blood forming at his feet and grins creepily at Dick. To make the scene worse JJ tilts his head to the side just a little, adding to the creepy affect even more.

Thankfully he’s saved from trying to decide what to do when another body soon joins them in the cave. Dick’s attention turns away from JJ and onto Cass who casually strolls towards them with a light bounce in her step. Dick smiles warmly at her, feeling relieved for her appearance. Then immediate guilt hits him because he really shouldn’t be thinking that, Tim is his brother and what’s happened is by no means his fault and he should try to be supportive where he can, though sometimes it can get difficult.

Cass silently comes up to them and stands next to JJ. Dick watches with amusement as JJ’s grin slowly disappears from his face and is replaced with a scowl, his eyes narrow in what he would say is a challenge as he stares at her unmoving. Cass simply raises an eyebrow, she places a hand on her side and cocks her hip while she holds out the other in silent demand.

The two stare at one another for a long time, clearly testing the other’s patience and if Dick’s being honest he has to give JJ some credit for how long he’s with standing Cass’s pointed look. However it seems like JJ can’t out last Cass because he soon drops his gaze and relaxes his grip on the dagger but doesn’t let go of it yet.

“Timmy and I just want to have some fun. Why is that wrong?” JJ pouts, actually seeming disappointed and confused for why they’re saying no to him.

Dick catches himself from saying anything at the last second. He wants to question the ‘fun’ part of punishing but thinks better of it, it’s best that he stays quiet and lets Cass handle the situation.

Still staring at JJ, Cass keeps her hand out waiting for JJ to give her the dagger. After more staring he slaps the weapon into her hand with an exaggerated huff.

“Fine.” JJ huffs with a stomp of his foot. He scowls and crosses his arms over his chest. “I guess I’ll have to find another way to punish – oops! – I mean play with Timmy.” He lets out a hysterical giggle at his own words.

Cass shakes her head and moves towards Dick. They make eyes contact and Cass sends him a soft smile, when she gets close enough with the hand not holding the bloody dagger she reaches up and cups his cheek. “Finish work and rest. I’ve got this.”

Dick places his hand over hers and sends her an appreciative look. “Thank you.”

Standing up Dick grabs the file he had abandoned earlier and makes a move to leave the desk, it’ll probably be best to head to his bedroom in the Manor where he won’t be disturbed, but when he turns around he finds JJ now over by the weapons table yet again.

“JJ!” He snaps harshly. The kid startles and looks up at Dick before a wide grin stretches across his face, he’s not even ashamed that he’s been caught with his hand hovering over another dagger. He soon retracts his hand and places them both behind his back, he sways side to side like he’s an innocent kid.

“What? I’m not doing anything.”

Dick couldn’t help but eyeroll at the blatant lie. He sends JJ a pointed look. “Behave.” JJ’s response to that was to blow him a raspberry. Sending Cass a nod he leaves the desk with his folder tucked under his arm and makes his way to the stairs.

Unfortunately it wasn’t that simple. He should have been expecting something to happen really considering that nothing is ever easy with the kid, it’s only thanks to his reflexes and instincts that he hadn’t been impaled by the dagger JJ had just been eyeing up moments ago.

The weapon is now lodged in the wall in front of him from where Dick had luckily dodged it. The situation takes a moment to process in his mind and once it does he spins back around to witness JJ giggling hysterically and a wide-eyed Cass who had a hand over her mouth in shock. She’s clearly just as caught off guard by JJ’s actions as he was. Dick takes a deep breath and steadies himself, at least it didn’t actually hit him, not that the sentiment really helps with anything.

Deciding it’s really not worth it, he continues his journey to the stairs and proceeds to climb them, but not before grabbing the dagger buried in the wall along the way. JJ is Cass’s responsibility now, one he’ll happily pass over to her.

The last thing Dick hears when he gets to the top of the stairs is JJ calling out to him in between giggles.

“Bye bye Big Bird! See you soooooon!”

[saffronique]

I Read Leopardstar's Honor So You Don't Have To: A Review (Not Spoiler Free)

Oh Leopardstar. A cat who has long divided the fanbase as a leader beloved by some and despised by others. After years of waiting (for some) she was finally given her own super edition. In a word it was... underwhelming.

Introduction:

The book opens during Leopardstar's kithood days. The first scene is adorably heartwarming- readers are treated to Leopardkit and her denmates playing the warriors version of hide and seek, and there are some absolutely adorable moments here, such as Crookedjaw helping Leopardkit escape the seeker by whisking her away on his back, and Mudfur doting on his daughter. The scene takes a sharp turn when Skykit, one of Leopardkit's denmates, lures her away from the group to shove her head underwater and berate her for giving away Skykit's hiding place in the last round of hide and seek. Skykit's actions are startlingly cruel here, as she tells Leopardkit that she's a rotten kit that killed her own mother and that she is doomed to the dark forest like all the other murderers. This understandably disturbs and traumatizes Leopardkit, and when she speaks to her father about it, Mudfur reassures her that she is good, and that Brightsky came to him in a dream to say that Leopardkit will one day save RiverClan. Leopardkit latches on to this dream, and the book follows her through relatively disjointed moments in her life as she tries to live up to her destiny.

Pacing:

The pacing of the book is an absolute nightmare. We don't spend long enough in any one part of Leopardstar's life to see her have any meaningful interactions with other cats, and thus the majority of the relationships she has seem surface level at best, forced at worse, with Whiteclaw being a notable exception. She spends maybe 3 chapters as a kit, 3 as an apprentice, 3 as a warrior, 2 as a mentor, and so on. As a result, we don't actually get the opportunity to see Leopardstar learning or struggling in a meaningful way at any point. We're TOLD she's a hard worker, that she's dedicated and loyal, but the book gives you little chance to actually see it. The book slows down long enough to force an almost love story with Frogtail, which Leopardstar ultimately gives up on to focus on her work, but then a few chapters later Frogtail is dead and it's back to jumping around through her life.

The book really suffers from a lack of side characters and relationships to help things feel connected. The only real through line is this silly dream from Mudfur-not even an official prophecy- that Leopardstar focuses on to the exclusion of all else. Compare this to Crookedstar's Promise and Bluestar's Prophecy- while both books feature a greater destiny that the characters focus on throughout the book, they are given the chance to develop meaningful relationships that last for large chunks of the book. Bluestar has her relationship with her sister and her rivalry with Thistleclaw, and even her friendship with Thrushpelt, all of which allow her story to feel genuine and naturally lend themselves to interesting subplots. Crookedstar has his relationship with Mapleshade, his romance with Willowbreeze, his desire to prove himself to his mother- again, all things that make him feel like a well rounded, multifaceted character. Leopardstar has her dream, and ONLY her dream. None of her friendships last more than a few chapters before the other character is killed off. Her most meaningful relationship, with her apprentice and adopted son Whiteclaw, has the potential to round out Leopardstar's character, but Whiteclaw's fate has been predetermined. We all know he's going to die in the gorge because we see it happen in Fire and Ice. After Whiteclaw's death, Leopardstar briefly has a compelling relationship with Silverstream after she discovers her relationship with Graystripe. Silverstream and Leopardstar have opposing priorities of love and duty, and the interactions between them are an interesting insight into both characters. Silverstream actively rebukes Leopardstar's mindset and challenges her priorities, something that would have been invaluable in making Leopardstar's choice to join Tigerstar seem more consequential. But Silverstream too is doomed to die, and by the time the book reaches its climax, Mudfur is the only cat left to challenge Leopardstar's choices. Instead of letting the rift between father and daughter build, Leopardstar has no problem simply banishing her father and medicine cat for disagreeing with her. No one that she cares about is left to challenge her for her decisions, and thus there are no real stakes to the choices she makes. Sure, Stonefur dies and its awful, but the book doesn't bother to develop any real friendship or camaraderie between the two, so it doesn't feel as impactful as it should. The book concludes with Leopardstar understanding that she's wrong and Mudfur convincing her that she's going to save the Clan from the disaster she helped create. At the very least, Leopardstar seems to understand the problems with this and points out that it's not really her saving the Clans, its Firestar. This is completely true, as she has no role in Tigerstar's downfall and no role in stopping Scourge. The best that can be said for Leopardstar is that she doesn't get in the way of Firestar here.

She faces no real struggles aside from her father's doubt as to her ability to lead, a dynamic already witnessed between Brambleberry and Crookedstar and done much better.

Awful editing:

This book suffers from an almost unbelievable lack of care on the part of the editors, with big chunks of text very obviously cut and pasted to different parts of the story without any effort to edit out nonsequitors. The most painful instance of this revolves around Stormpaw and Featherpaw's apprenticeship. In one scene, Leopardstar comments on the fact that Primrosekit and Pikekit will be made apprentices any day (Reedkit is inexplicably absent here, and Perchkit seems to have died offscreen though it is never mentioned) and notes that Stormkit and Featherkit still have their kit fluff and look tiny next to their older denmates. A couple paragraphs later, we see Featherkit and Stormkit being apprenticed to Mistyfoot and Stonefur, in a paragraph that EXPLICITLY STATES that it's the very next day. The other kits have mysteriously been apprenticed already. Boulder and Jaggedtooth of ShadowClan are inexplicably present at the ceremony, despite there being no mention of their arrival at any point and Leopardstar refusing Tigerstar's offer to join their two Clans together the day before. A few pages later (yes, literally just pages later, that's how atrocious the pacing is) we cut to a battle between RiverClan and ThunderClan at the Sunningrocks, where Stonefur and Mistyfoot's parentage is revealed. Leopardstar doesn't actually hear this, but she does overhear them discussing it in the most painfully forced way possible moments later. Leopardstar finds herself absolutely HORRIFIED that she's apprenticed two half-Clan cats to half-Clan mentors.... and then a few chapters later, after forming TigerClan, Tigerstar asks her if she still intends to make Mistyfoot and Stonefur mentors to Featherkit and Stormkit despite their parentage, to which Leopardstar responds that they are still loyal RiverClan warriors. Yes, I'm serious.

Leopardstar's character:

This super edition is nothing but a showcase of the absolute worst aspects of Leopardstar as a character. Throughout the book she is shown as racist, battle hungry, self-centered, foolish, and utterly lacking in compassion or even pity for any Clan other than her own. She is constantly making racist generalizations about cats from other Clans, actively wishes for WindClan's downfall, sides with Tigerstar simply because Fireheart is a kittypet, and, perhaps most disturbingly, tries to murder Fireheart in cold blood because of his kittypet background. This book literally does nothing to endear the reader to Leopardstar, it makes her out to be the most despicable, honorless cat imaginable. And honestly, if you're not a Leopardstar fan, I think that's one of the most compelling things about this book. The desire to see what atrocities Leopardstar would commit next was what kept me interested in the story, honestly it was the only reason I finished it. There was something morbidly fascinating about watching a character so self absorbed and lacking in compassion interact with the world around her. It was enjoyable in a way to see a character so deeply set in the beliefs that the series has repeatedly established as wrong time and time again. Pacing and editing aside, this difference in philosophy is a breath of fresh air after the same recycled plotlines and moral messages that the series has been using for years. This book isn't going to make you like Leopardstar, but it is going to make you love to hate her.

What the book did right:

While there were very few positives to the book, it wasn't completely lacking in value. The book succeeded in developing a deeply meaningful relationship between Whiteclaw and Leopardstar that, thankfully, wasn't a romance. Their mother/son and mentor/apprentice relationship does a good job at setting up Leopardstar's grudge against ThunderClan over Whiteclaw's death as we see it play out in the first arc. Honestly, Leopardstar as a character would have been served far better if this had just been a novella detailing the relationship between these two. That was probably the only real thing of value in the book, honestly. Aside from that, Frogtail and Leopardstar's relationship, while I personally found it completely unnecessary, addressed a topic I've been hoping to see in warriors for a while now-- two characters who love each other but decide that the things they want out of life are mutually incompatible, and part ways amicably. Leafpool x Crowfeather and Bluestar x Oakheart both almost did this, but fell short because it was only ever really one character who decided to end the relationship. Unfortunately, the value in this message is somewhat diminished by the fact that Leopardstar later laments multiple times that she should've given up on her goals and just had kits with Frogtail instead, an absolutely disgusting conclusion that plays into the recurring problem of misogyny in warriors where women aren't allowed to be both mothers and hold a position of power, they have to choose between the two.

All in all, this Super Edition is easily the worst so far in terms of plot, pacing, and writing, but I still found some enjoyment in reading the perspective of such a selfish, cruel protagonist.

[emeraldiis]

Mirrorball // I

A/N: there will be a part two!! dont worry!!

AO3 Link

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Summary: Reader hides her insecurity under a guise of unwavering happiness, but Loki ends up finding out the truth. Meanwhile, Loki struggles with feeling worthy of love.

Warnings: suicidal ideation, insecurity, misunderstandings, angst

Loki wasn’t sure why you lived with the Avengers. Sure, you were one hell of a good cook, and you bartended at Tony’s numerous parties, but surely you could do that while having a place of your own. Normally, Loki wouldn’t have given a second thought to where somebody chose to reside--even if he couldn’t understand people’s willingness to be anywhere near Stark--but you were driving him insane.

When Loki had first arrived at the tower, it had been a cruel and unusual punishment. House arrest at the very place that he suffered a humiliating defeat, with the very heroes that had defeated him. Of course, not many people were very welcoming. He was permitted to roam about the tower as long as he stayed on good behavior, but that didn’t mean all residents were alright with it. 

Stark was the easiest to deal with; his jokes and quips about Loki’s unfortunate ventures to rule, well, anything stung, but the malice behind them faded with every passing day. After all, it had been a long time since New York. Banner and Wanda were another story. They treated him politely enough, but the fear behind their eyes whenever he passed by made something rotten stir in his gut. No matter how much he attempted to redeem himself, people still saw him as evil. A villain.

It seemed as if Steve and Thor were the only ones glad to have him there. The Captain’s open arms had come as a surprise, but Loki was intuitive, and very quickly realized that Steve saw him in the same light as he did the Winter Soldier, Bucky. And in a way, Loki could see the similarities. They had both done awful things--albeit under far different circumstances--and were now working on gaining the trust of the ones kind enough to give them a second chance.

So Loki found himself seeking out Bucky’s company far more often than any of his other acquaintances. It was a strange sort of companionship, but it worked; Bucky usually opted to listen instead of speak, giving Loki the opportunity to ramble on about whatever grievances he held that week. There were usually a lot, and Bucky was the only one who didn’t offer him useless advice. He simply nodded along, fixing Loki with that thousand yard stare until he had finished.

And then, of course, there was you. All smiles and playful energy, with a raunchy sense of humor and a sharp tongue. You were much smaller than him, in terms of height and stature, but he often felt dwarfed when you were in the room. You just took up so much space with that reckless attitude and need for everyone in the room to be laughing. In an odd sort of way, you reminded him of a clown. Not because you were goofy, or funny looking, no. You just...made people smile, held their attention and made it your dying goal to be there for entertainment. 

The first time Loki had seen you, he was quick to notice your easy beauty. It was rare that he found a Midgardian woman to be attractive, but he couldn’t deny that something about you just appealed to him. You weren’t a supermodel, nor were you drop-dead gorgeous in terms of Midgardian standards, but you had a very real-life grace. You didn’t look like those dolled up actresses he often saw on the television, you looked more natural, something that instantly caught Loki’s eye.

He had been reading quietly in the common room of the Stark Tower, having been forced out of his room by Thor to “at least be present, brother.” The other Avengers droned on about petty events while he attempted to tune them out. And then you stormed in, bringing a sense of excitement to the room with your very aura.

You greeted each person individually, making sure no hero was left out, until your eyes settled on him. Loki felt a heat rise in his cheeks under your intense gaze, and shifted uncomfortably. He brushed off the feeling as it simply had been a while since he had spoken to an attractive woman, not wanting to admit to himself the effect your presence had on him.

“New guy, Loki, psycho murderer,” you rattled off, still staring him down. Loki felt as if you were a cat, and he was the poor mouse that you had selected as your new plaything. “Which do you prefer?”

That caught him off guard. While he was still somewhat unfamiliar with Midgard’s social customs, he was at least sure that this was not a normal way to greet a stranger. That, and the disrespect warred with what he was used to: women on Asgard bowing to him, treating him with the dignity that a prince deserved. Despite the surprise, Loki’s aloof outer demeanor was not shaken, and he let the strangeness of it all roll off his back as he replied, “How about ‘God of Mischief?’ Or, if that is a bit too wordy, I would be open to ‘King Loki.’”

 Your eyes lit up, and Loki found himself having to fight back a smile. His unconscious reaction left him feeling confused and slightly frustrated. Why was this mortal girl sending his emotions in a whirl? Loki scrambled for some sort of reasoning that didn’t have him looking pathetic, and settled on the idea that it had been a while since he had bed a woman, and you were particularly attractive. It only made sense that his body would react in ways that he had not expected.

Lost in his head, Loki barely noticed you were speaking again. “I like this one!” You said, clearly excited that he had matched your banter with ease. “New best friend acquired.”

Once again, you had left Loki reeling. Best friend? He wasn’t sure if he had ever had one of those before, and certainly not with someone he had just met. In fact, he wasn’t entirely positive that he even wanted one. Especially in the form of some over-enthusiastic mortal. Before he could protest, you plopped yourself down next to him on the couch. It wasn’t a very big piece of furniture, so when you settled into your seat, you were only a couple inches away from touching Loki. 

He could feel the heat radiating off of your body, and once again, his heart fluttered. The urge to lean into you overwhelmed him, and Loki furrowed his eyebrows. God, had it really been that long since he had been with someone? The frustration at his stupid body for its stupid needs grew, and Loki made up his mind then and there. He would court you, then fuck you, and get over this silly little infatuation. With your earlier outburst at wanting to befriend him, Loki figured that it would be a breeze. With his silvertongue and charming good looks, he would have you squirming under him in no time. Easy.

But, of course, nothing was ever easy for Loki. You had managed to prove him quite wrong over the next few weeks. Your obliviousness to flirting was quite impressive, Loki found, despite even his most direct attempts. Every advance he made was thwarted by complete, and utter ignorance, coupled with the fact that you had probably not taken a single thing seriously in your entire life. 

Loki would compliment you, and you’d grin wolfishly and twist it to make his words sound insulting, then cackling madly. And then was the time he “joked,” about getting you into his bed, to which you burst into a fit of giggles and said, “No way! I don’t want to be the other woman to Bucky!”

Loki had recoiled in bewilderment, and decided that enough was enough. Obviously you weren’t worth the effort, considering you never actually listened to anything he said. He’d just have to find someone who was capable of holding a conversation without turning something into a joke.

But...he couldn’t deny that he was constantly having to fight back a laugh at your remarks, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that you were annoying, not funny. And even when he had abandoned his plot to seduce you, Loki found himself gravitating towards you. Truth be told, he knew how to be direct, to really get what he wanted, but every time he worked up the courage to just lean in and kiss you...something stopped him. Deep down, he knew that if you actually rejected him, then the game would be over, and something about that just seemed devastating to Loki. So he continued with cat and mouse, letting you deflect his advances time after time, because at least you weren’t actually saying no.

He’d wander in the kitchen while you were cooking, sit down to watch your favorite shows and movies, and had even taken to sitting on the roof with you late at night when neither of you could sleep. Loki couldn’t avoid it anymore. It wasn't a simple attraction that he felt, it was adoration. You, a mortal of all creatures, had captured his interest. Maybe it was your wit. Maybe it was your unshakable happiness, the ability to keep everyone’s spirits up in any situation. Maybe it was the crushing need to protect you, to protect that pure soul from the viciousness of the universe. Whatever it was, you had actually ended up as Loki’s best friend. And somewhere along the line, he had fallen in love.

You sat in the living room alone, knees curled up to your chest on the couch. The four walls of your room had felt confining, like a prison cell that kept getting smaller. Your usual place of refuge would be the roof. But you didn’t dare venture up there like this. With your luck, Loki would find you there, and you weren’t sure if you had the strength to keep up your carefree persona.

Loki had never seen you upset before, never seen you weak. No one had, if you were honest. You fought hard to keep a smile plastered on your cheeks to keep up the appearance of a girl who never faltered with her high spirits. In a way, it wasn’t entirely fake. Joking around and being joyous was your real personality, but it was also a defense mechanism. If you never took anything seriously, nothing would ever hurt. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself. The anxiety that wrecked your brain stayed constant, though, making your life a constant war with your own mind.

Your friendship with Loki was a fragile one, or at least it felt that way. You often felt as if you were walking on eggshells; every word that came out of your mouth risked driving him away. He had seemed to enjoy your wild and snarky personality when you first met him, so you didn’t dare try to be anything else. You were afraid that he would lose all interest when he discovered that you were just as fragile as all mortals were.

It was risky having your breakdown out in one of the main rooms, but the risk was better than dealing with the claustrophobia of your lonely bedroom. Besides, it wasn’t like you were going to sleep anyway. Better to just wait for daylight where you could at least feel some modicum of safety.

In your misery, you had forgotten that Loki was not an easy being to hide from. You were pretty sure that it was damn near impossible, actually. He seemed to...sense...your emotions, when you were in distress. And though you never showed it, kept that unwavering smile plastered across your face, he always appeared when you needed a friend to sit with. Tonight was no different.

Like a shadow, Loki emerged from the hallway in front of you, piercing eyes quickly landing on your curled up form in the darkness. He raised an eyebrow at you when you refused to even acknowledge him. “Dear, would you like to go up to the roof? Away from prying ears?” He offered.

You shook your head, and shrunk further into yourself when he crossed the room to sit next to you. Loki looked a little uneasy, as it was rare that you were silent. Usually, he had to fight to get a word in when you were on a tangent. Not that he minded too much. Though he liked to talk, he held a certain fondness for listening to you.

Loki tried again to engage you. “Why not? I know it’s a bit chilly tonight, but you’ve never minded that before."

It was clear that the god wasn’t going away until you gave him some kind of response, so you gritted your teeth and lied. “Sorry, bud. I just feel sick, that’s all.” You forced a laugh, but it sounded strained. “I’d rather stay close to the bathroom. I’m not sure Tony would be too excited if I puked on his roof.”

Blue eyes stared into yours, and you could literally feel Loki not believing you. Of course the God of Mischief would be able to spot a lie from a mile away. Still, he didn’t push the subject, something that you were grateful for. “Alright,” he said, leaning back into the couch. “Would you like me to sit with you?”

Fuck, you didn’t want to have to reject his company a second time, but you really needed to be alone right now. Loki seeing you have a meltdown would be the last straw, and you’d just end up throwing yourself off of the Stark Tower. No, it was better this way. “That’s okay, you get some rest. I’m not gonna keep you up for something so small.” You still hadn’t looked up, afraid that Loki would see the glimmer of tears threatening to spill out of your eyes. “Besides, you need your beauty sleep,” you tried to tease, but your voice came out flat and dull.

Loki thought for a second, then sighed. “As your king, I override your decision. I will be staying here until you’re feeling well enough to sleep.” He waited expectantly, obviously ready for you to make some bratty quip about not being one of his subjects, but it never came. You just didn’t have it in you.

Now that Loki had fully sunk down on the couch, his body was only inches from yours. You wanted so badly to lean into the heat of his side, to bury your face in the crook of his neck and let him cuddle your fears away. Instead of following your instincts, you squashed the daydream like a pesky bug. Nothing about Loki indicated that he was the cuddling type. Hell, he’d never so much as hugged you. He probably wasn’t a big fan of physical touch.

Deep breaths, you told yourself. Just keep it together until you’re on your own. That’s when you stiffened. Loki had stretched a long arm around you, and was looking at you intently to gauge your reaction.

“Is this okay? Humans are very social creatures, touch can help provide some comfort if you’re feeling ill.”

Loki’s scientific approach to the entire situation almost made you break out into laughter. Almost. Regardless, it was too hard to resist when you had such an open invitation. You scooted closer to the god and leaned against him, letting Loki hold you tight.

Before you could even try to stop yourself, you had burst into sobs. Something about being held had just broken the dam, and you were weeping uncontrollably into Loki’s shirt, sputtering out apologies all the while.

Loki shushed you and held you tighter, and you could’ve sworn that you felt an aura of possessiveness in his embrace. “It’s okay,” he murmured into your hair. “I’m here to help.”

You didn’t know how long you cried for, but when you were finally able to rein in the tears, you were horrified. Loki’s shirt was soaked with snot and tears, and your face was most definitely swollen and blotchy with red spots. And, worst of all, you had just proven to him that you were weak, and not worth his time. This was a disaster. 

Loki, hearing your sniffling come to a stop, pulled away to look at you, and bit his lip nervously before beginning to speak. “There’s something I must confess to you. Seeing you now, trusting me with your vulnerability-”

You cut him off by jumping up from your seat, knocking his arms away from you. Like hell you were going to listen to the rest of his rejection. You already knew what he was going to say. That you were weak, that he no longer wanted anything to do with you. “Listen, Loki,” you snarled, unable to mask the pain in your voice. “You don’t have to say it, I get it. I’m gonna go to bed, you don’t have to hang out with me anymore,” you said, rushing to get the words out before you died from humiliation.

Loki watched in bewilderment, his words of affection dying on his lips and you turned tail and ran out of the room. Rejected? By a mortal? He had never known such embarrassment. And you hadn’t even had the good graces to let him finish. His heart began to darken with rage and shame. Of course you ran away, of course you didn’t want to be with someone like him. No one did, he should be used to this kind of treatment by now. How foolish of him to think that you would be any different.

[meganlpie]

She Saved Me

Based on this request:  Would you please write an AU story featuring Viktor Krum and a female reader? Plot idea is that the reader was a Ravenclaw in George and Fred’s year. She had a slight crush on Viktor during the year he was at Hogwarts for the Tri-Wizard Tournament; his accent and manners were what caught her attention. During the final battle at Hogwarts, Viktor comes to aid Harry and those fighting the Death Eaters. The reader saves his life, with a modified spell of his creation, before running off to help others. He searches for her, but all he has to go on is that it was a girl wearing blue and said the spell in Romanian; he could tell she’s a non-native speaker because of a slight accent. A happy ending, please.

Here you are! I do not own ANY HP characters, unfortunately.

Warnings: Fluff! Mentions of the 2nd Wizard War. 

Pairings: Viktor Krum x fem!reader, mentions of other canon couples, but not really present. 

Viktor Krum never imagined he would return to Hogwarts. After the Tri-Wizard Tournament, when he was bewitched, Viktor never wanted to return to Hogwarts. Still, when the world was hanging on by a mere thread, action had to be taken. That was how he found himself back at the wizard school, facing off against dozens upon dozens of Death Eaters. He honestly took on too many and that was how he found himself in the situation he was in.

         A few of the Death Eaters preferred to torture their victims before killing them. Viktor was ended up being one of those victims. He could feel himself growing weaker by the second. But suddenly, it all stopped. In a flash of blue and a rush of words Viktor recognized instantly. His own spell, but different somehow. It was clear the witch casting the spell was not from Viktor's country. The accent was off and the spell had most definitely been altered somehow, but it was his spell.  

         The Death Eaters were gone and then so was the witch. Viktor's brows furrowed, but he had no time to even contemplate going after her. First, he had no idea who she was or even what she looked like. All he had seen was a bit of blue. Second, there were more Death Eaters closing in. They needed to be dealt with first.

*short time skip*

         Viktor let out an exasperated breath as the battle finally ended. It was over. He could return home and the world would be a safer place. He bid Harry Potter and his friends farewell before leaving Hogwarts once more, hopefully for good. He was unaware of a pair of (e/c) eyes watching him, but he would never forget the witch who had saved him. He only hoped that one day he would be able to thank her properly.

         A few years passed. Viktor continued to play Quidditch and develop spells. He lived his life grateful to still have one. In the back of his mind, however, he couldn't shake away the image of that witch. Something about her voice told Viktor that he had at least met her before. He only wished he could have seen her clearly.

         "What is it about this girl?" Harry Potter had asked him once. He was in Bulgaria to watch his wife play with the Harpies against Viktor's team. "She saved me. I just want to thank her," Viktor replied, hoping he was speaking clearly enough. Harry often had a problem understanding him in the past. Harry had simply arched a brow and fell silent, leaving Viktor alone with his thoughts. It wasn't until a few weeks later, and Ron and Hermione's wedding, that Viktor realized why Harry was smiling at him the way he was.

         Viktor was standing outside the reception to get some air when he heard Harry behind him. "Viktor, I'd like you to meet Y/F/N. I think she may be the one you've been looking for." Viktor's jaw dropped slightly as you stuttered out a greeting in his native tongue. You looked positively shy, nervous, and adorable all at once, but your voice was unmistakable. And Viktor had indeed met you before. When he was at Hogwarts the first time. You had helped him in the library and had been just as shy back then.

         "It is you," Viktor said in greeting. You finally met his gaze, head tilted in confusion. "You saved me. All those years ago. It was you." You smiled slightly as your head tilted down again so you were looking at your shoes. Viktor carefully reached out and cupped your chin, encouraging you to look up at him again. "Do I frighten you?" he asked. He had been working on his English for just this moment.  He wanted you to understand him when he expressed his gratitude. You immediately shook your head.

         "N-No. I'm not afraid." Viktor nodded a bit and silence fell between you for a few moments. It was as if the wedding reception taking place in the tents behind you wasn't even there. "Thank you." You blinked in surprise. "For what?" you asked. Viktor carefully rolled up his sleeve to reveal a scar. "For saving my life. This? It could have been much worse."

         "Oh. I-I-It was nothing. I couldn't let you die. Not the great Viktor Krum," you announced with a flourish of your hands and a small smile, making Viktor chuckle. You stared up at him in slight awe. Not the awe of an overwhelmed fan of his, but the awe of someone who had met their soulmate for the first time. Viktor couldn't tell if he was sharing that same feeling or if he was merely grateful for your help. But Viktor Krum never ran away from anything and he wasn't going to flee from the stirring in his heart and stomach.

         "Would you care to dance?" he asked, obviously taking you by surprise when you gasped a little. "Uh, sure." Your hands were shaking a bit as Viktor wrapped his arm around you, pulling you just a little closer. Viktor found that he couldn't look away from your face as you danced together. He was mesmerized by how someone who was seemingly so shy and reserved had also had enough courage to save a man you barely knew.

         The dance ended and Viktor placed a barely there kiss to the back of your hand, his dark eyes riveted on your (e/c) ones. You smiled at him. The butterflies in his stomach kicked up tenfold. He felt like he might be sick, his stomach felt so fluttery.  "Thank you for the dance," you said softly. Viktor grinned.

         "You do not need to thank me for that," he started and then, thinking it was now or never, he continued, "Perhaps…Perhaps you would care to join me for dinner sometime?" Your eyes widened almost comically. "You want to have dinner with me?" Viktor nodded. He couldn't fight the silly grin on his face when you agreed.

         "Wonderful!" he exclaimed in his native language before saying in English, "Perhaps you could tell me how you managed to modify my spell?" You laughed at that. You spent the rest of the night talking, switching between your two languages. As the night wound down, Viktor realized that he hadn't felt as comfortable and at home in a long time. He could get used to that, if you were willing. The very thought made Viktor smile.

(a/n: I hope you like it!)

Forever Tags: @fizzyxcustard​ @brewsthespirit-blog​ @sirkekselord​ @aikibriarrose​ @lady-of-lies​ @esoltis280​ @motleymoose​ @sdavid09​ @dark-angel-is-back

[httpnxtt]

Wallpaper - Reid x Reader

A/N: Hello Lovelies! I attempted some pure fluff this time to show my love to my bby, @spencer-reid-in-a-pool​ ! I wanted to shower her with love and this was the only way I could think how, so I hope you enjoy! Shoutout to @imagining-in-the-margins​ for the adorable prompt! You’re amazing and ily! 

Also shout out to my amazing beta buddies, @sunlight-moonrise​ , @clean-bands-dirty-stories​ , and @definitelynotkatesblog​ !

Spencer Reid x Reader

Category: FLUFFY FLUFF

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 4.2k

Masterlist

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In the world of darkness that surrounds our lives, it’s important to find the light in the world. Luckily for me, our paperwork days meant being sat across from my best friend, Spencer Reid. The man whose smile lit the entire room, who could drop everything in an instant for someone he loves; who makes my days brighter at the simplest, “Hi.” The curly-haired genius spends his days surrounded by the worst humans in existence, using his brain to help the world before helping himself. With his IQ of 187, his mind works a million miles a minute, but sometimes he still needs help. That’s where my job comes in. 

I joined the BAU a year ago, and was instantly drawn to the resident genius. He was timid when I first met him, as if scared the world would break him with everything it decided to throw at the sweet man. Slowly, I captured the heart of our resident genius, who was now my best friend. Over the course of the years, he became my favorite person. On cases, I would make sure he took time to drink water and rest when possible, bringing him snacks when his brain was wrapped in his geological profile. I made it my mission to teach the genius to love himself as much as he loves others. 

Paperwork days were when I really got to see his bright smile and soft laughter. It became a running joke between us. Whenever Spencer would get up to grab us coffee from the kitchen, I would steal his phone to change the wallpaper to something silly. Every time he would check his phone for updates, he would see a new silly picture and grace me with a shining smile and chuckle. Even for these split moments in time, I knew I had distracted him from the morbid things littering our desks. His smile lit up the bullpen, leaving butterflies fluttering around in my stomach, my own smile gracing my lips. He would always shake his head before changing it back, already knowing he would find a new wallpaper later that day. Luckily for me, today was a long, dragging paperday which means I had plenty of time to meet my Spencer-Smile quota for the day. 

First thing this morning, I got my hands on his cell. Pre-coffee brain, the only thing I could think of was the most ridiculous picture of our own Derek Morgan. The image was one Penelope graced me with, a photo he attached when shamelessly flirting with her during our downtime. As quickly as I could, I set the lockscreen and gently placed the device back on his desk, almost in the right spot although I’m sure Spencer would notice it had been moved. I sit back in my chair, slowly starting to spin as I see Spencer make his way back to our desks, two mugs in hand as his glasses begin to slide down the bridge of his nose. I shoot up to wrap my hands around the steaming mug, the warmth like a warm hug. I pull the mug up to my face, smelling the delicious scent of coffee created perfectly to my specifications. Sometimes boy genius’ memory has its perks. Settling back at my desk, I sort through the mound of files for the day in anticipation. 

Looking up from my own cases, I look across to Spencer who has his face buried in a file, his finger trailing down the pages taking my mind into places it shouldn’t go. After an hour he still hasn’t seen his wallpaper, plastering a frown on my face. I pull out my own device, immediately texting a gif of Stitch saying hi to “Pretty Boy”, hearing his phone ding almost immediately. Looking across to Spencer, he almost spits out his coffee seeing the ever flirtatious Derek Morgan gracing his screen. The reaction sent me into a whirlwind of laughter, my head thrown back, almost cackling at the poor man. 

As I calm down, wiping the tears from under my eyes, I see Spencer looking at me with his signature smile, making my heart flutter. 

“That was a good one, Y/N. You really got me this time.” He chuckles, looking at this screen again before looking back at me. “Might have been your best one yet,” he says as he works to change it back. The poor technophobe had to learn because of me how to change his wallpaper since he realized I wouldn’t stop anytime soon. He’s still a tad slow but watching him try to work through it makes my heart happy as I return to my own files. 

As I try to work through my own files, an IM from the tech queen herself pings my computer. 

P.Garcia: “Changed Boy Wonder’s wallpaper again? When are you going to tell him?! Your puppy eyes give you away, darling. You can’t lie to me.”

Y/N: “Darling Penelope, I would never lie to you. Alas, you continue shipping something that will never sail..” I reply to her, hoping she gets the gist.

Although Spencer lives in my thoughts rent free, that’s where he’ll stay. As much as I wanted him in my arms instead, it simply wasn’t going to happen. I close my messages before trying to actually get some work done. I’d rather not stay late yet again due to my tendency to be a bit scatterbrained. 

***

Coffee break number two rolls around and I already have the perfect picture planned. Reid scurries into the kitchen desperate for more coffee and I rush to his desk. Pulling out his phone, I send an image to it before saving it. It is one of my all time favorites. A movie night Spencer and I shared. I convinced him to let me pamper him under the reasoning of some well deserved self-care. Surprisingly, the man went along with my antics, although fighting me on this gem. The image is a sneaky one that Reid doesn’t even know exists. During our self-care night, I tried to take pictures of him looking as cute as ever, but he kept blocking me. Luckily, Spencer fell asleep before his mask came off leaving the perfect opportunity to snap the evidence. There is Spencer in all his glory, curled up on my couch in the light blue robe I saved for him that was covered in little clouds, a purple face-mask clinging to his cheeks, trying to avoid his eyebrows.To top it all off, he wore a bright pink headband to push his hair back decorated with bunny ears. The picture shows the soft side of our boy, a side I wished he would show more. 

Throwing his phone back on his pile of files, I sit back at my desk, nonchalantly sipping my now cold coffee. Seeing Reid shuffle back to his desk, I wait for him to pick up his phone with my mug resting against my mouth. Spencer readjusts his frames as he settles in his chair, looking me in the eyes before looking at his phone. Instead of his normal chuckle, a pout graces his plush lips. Although his lips are normally a favorite of mine to stare at, the pout twists my gut. 

“I thought you didn’t get any pictures of me that night,” he mumbles, giving me puppy eyes that could give mine a run for their money. 

Despite my pride in the picture, his tone makes me feel just a little guilty. “I’m sorry, Spence, I thought you were so cute when you were napping. I didn’t want to make you upset.” I pout, the butterflies disintegrating as the moments pass. Rummaging through my drawer, I find my sack of trail mix and toss it to the dark-eyed man. “Here, take my trail mix, I know it’s your favorite,” I offer, a small smile painted on my face. Spencer’s eyes land on me, lips turning up once more into the smile that never fails to take my breath away. 

“I appreciate it, but I can’t take it. I know it’s basically the only thing you eat on your lunch break.” His call out causes heat to rise into my face. 

I stay insistent though. “I want you to have it. I don’t like making you sad.” I shoot back, giving him my infamous puppy eyes. Even Aaron Hotchner falls for them, there is no way the doctor could resist. 

“Okay,” he starts, automatically having me rush across to his desk to give him the snack. “On one condition,” He finishes, making my face fall once more. Spencer never lets people just give him a present, he always does more for others. “Since you’re giving me your snack, you come with me to get a proper lunch since you need food and I could use the hour away from these files.” He smiles at me, already munching on the trail mix so I have no choice but to agree. 

“Deal. BUT, I want pancakes if we’re going,” I reason with him, plopping back in my chair. 

“IHOP it is.” He chuckles, the sound resonating in my brain as we both hurry through our respective files. 

***

At coffee break number three, Reid stands from his desk, scrunching his nose to fix his glasses as he reaches across to snatch my mug from my desk. Hiding my face in the file until he walks away, I turn to see him shaking his head, knowing I’m about to change his wallpaper yet again. 

Once I see him turn the corner, I stretch over to grab his phone he conveniently left square in the middle of his desk, giving the man yet another excuse to talk to her. Flipping through the camera roll, I hear a chuckle from the desk a few feet away. Looking over, I find the one and only, Derek Morgan shaking his head at me. 

“What’s so funny, Thunder? Sad the attention isn’t on you anymore?” I tease him while trying to find the perfect picture. 

“I just find the pining that goes on between two supposedly brilliant people entertaining.” He chuckles as my jaw drops, turning to him. “Come on, Princess. You don’t think we don’t all know you and Pretty Boy fancy each other, do you? It’s obvious to everyone except the boy himself.”

I shake my head. “He’d never see me that way, Morgan. This is just for shits and giggles.” I breathe out, settling on an image of our feet in front of the TV screen, mismatched socks adorning our feet while “Beauty and the Beast” plays in the background. He sports a neon pink sock along with a navy blue sock covered in planets, while my feet claimed one sock covered in different moon phases, the other covered in little alien creatures. Placing his phone on his desk, I settle back at my own, shooting Morgan a closing, “You’re just seeing things, Morgan.” before burying myself back in the file at hand. 

Moments later, my mug is sat directly in front of me before Reid sits at his own desk. Automatically picking up his phone to check, my tummy flutters at the smile he releases while staring at the screen for a moment before looking at me. Making eye contact, I notice a slight pink tint to his cheeks, before he looks back at the image.

“This might be my favorite one yet,” he murmurs, adjusting his glasses without looking away from the screen. I feel my cheeks heat up, getting warmer by the second, but I cannot tear my eyes from the man who holds my heart without even knowing it. 

***

“Hey Y/N. Ready for lunch?” Spencer asks, tearing my eyes from the IMs Garcia floods me with daily. 

“Ready when you are!” I reply, jumping at the opportunity to get away from the files scattered on my desk. You’d think serial killers would take a day off sometimes. Shuffling to my feet, I grab my keys from my desk and grab Spencer’s hand, dragging him to the elevator with me.

“Seems like it’s more ready when Y/N is.” He chuckles, straightening his glasses once he comes to a stop in front of the silver doors. As we step in, Garcia frantically waves at us, before sprinting into the bullpen as the doors close.

“Well, you’re in luck, Pretty Boy. You get me as your personal chauffeur to lunch.” I beam at him as he goes bug-eyed.

“Lucky? In your death trap, Y/N?” He chuckles, putting a flabbergasted look on my face.

“Hey!” I yell at him, playfully elbowing him in the ribs. “My car has lasted 15 long years I’ll have you know, and she runs as smooth as ever,” I shoot back, immediately leaving him behind when the doors open. “Maybe I’ll just go get pancakes without you then.” It’s playful when I lock all the car doors except for mine, and he knows it.

That doesn’t stop him from playing along. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry Y/N! Will you ever forgive my poor soul?” he jokes, holding both his hands over his heart as he begs for forgiveness. Unlocking the doors, I giggle at his antics before heading to the restaurant. 

***

“Y’all ready to order, or do you need a few more minutes?” The server returns to the table with our coffees, along with an apple juice for my inner child. 

“Yes ma’am. Can I get the plain pancakes with eggs, as well as a side of bacon and sausage?” Spencer asks while gathering both our menus for her. “Of course, sugar. What about you darlin’?” she turns to me as Spencer dumps almost the entire sugar container into his mug. 

“I’ll just have the chocolate chip pancake, please!” I smile at her as I steal what’s left of the sugar from the man across from me. 

“No problem, that’ll be right out for y’all.” She smiles at us before heading off to the kitchen. 

“Did you know chocolate chips were invented by Ruth Wakefield because she decided to chop up a chocolate bar and add it to her cookie batter?” Spencer looks to me as he starts with factoids. “And white chocolate isn’t even truly chocolate! White chocolate is made with a blend of sugar, cocoa butter, milk products, vanilla, and a fatty substance called lecithin. Not that it’s a surprise, considering it doesn’t even taste like chocolate. Probably because it doesn't contain chocolate solids.” he rambles as I stare at him with stars in my eyes. “However, dark chocolate is loaded with organic compounds that are biologically active and function as antioxidants. These include polyphenols, flavanols and catechins, among others. Dark chocolate also has a list of different benefits proven from consumption.” He finishes, taking a sip of his coffee as I continue staring at the man.

“What ever would I do without you, Boy Wonder?” I say, seeing Spencer’s face heat up at my remark as he hides behind his mug. 

“M-me?” He asks, as if he couldn’t believe it. He shakes his head in disbelief before I could respond, showering me with many more factoids while waiting for our food rather than accept my compliment.

“Alright, here’s your food darlin’. Let me know if there’s anything else I could do for y’all.” The server tells us, shooting us a smile before moving onto another table. Spencer takes his time cutting up his food, dousing his plate in more syrup than pancake. Meanwhile, I dig into my pancakes as if it’s the last thing I will ever eat. 

Halfway through my own pancakes, I look up to see Spencer looking directly at me with a look I couldn’t quite distinguish. 

“Why are you staring at me?” I ask him, almost seeming to pull him from a trance before responding. 

“Oh. Uh, you have chocolate on your face.” He tells me, seeing my face flush at the information. I grab my napkin and quickly wipe my lips making sure not to miss a spot. Little did I know, there wasn’t a single speck on my face. 

“Is it gone?” I ask him, hoping not to embarrass myself further. 

“Oh, yeah it’s gone.” he smiles, returning his focus onto his own plate. 

Going back to eating, I keep sneaking pieces of the bacon off Spencer’s plate, causing him to smile each time. 

“Hey Spence. I have a question for you.” I tell him, shoving a piece of bacon in my mouth. 

“And what would that be, Y/N?” He asks me, sipping his coffee. 

“Why is it every time we come here you order sausage and bacon, if you never touch the bacon?” I ask him, looking at him with a puzzled expression. 

“Would you like my honest answer?” He pushes back, as if I would want anything else from him. I nod with a mouth full of pancakes, earning a smile while he responds. “Because I know you’ll always steal the bacon from my plate but will never actually order it yourself.” He smiles at me, returning to his own food leaving me speechless and even more red.

Finishing up our plates, Spencer takes initiative to organize all of the empty dishes so our server has less work. Giggling at his antics, I pull out my phone to check the time, seeing we still have plenty of time before our break is over. 

“Are we getting milkshakes?” he asks me, sipping the last of his coffee before adding the mug to his carefully organized dish-pile. 

“Of course we’re getting milkshakes, what kind of question is that, Spencer?” I look at him, almost appalled he would assume we weren’t. “We each have a sweet tooth I’ve ever seen matched by anyone else, why would you ever assume I would say no to a milkshake?”

“I wasn’t sure if we had the time, I didn’t want to make us late.” He explains, shaking his head yet again at my child-like antics. 

When the server returns, we both order the largest mint-chip shakes they had before returning to our usual banter in waiting. Not long after, the server returned with a single shake. 

“I’m so sorry sugar, apparently we only had enough ingredients for one mint-chip. Can I get y’all something else?” The server asks us, feeling bad she couldn’t fulfill our order. 

“You take the mint-chip, Spence. I’ll order something else.” I push the shake toward him as he blocks it from getting to him. 

“It’s okay, Y/N. I’m not worried about it.” He replies, fighting me over a milkshake. 

“Spence-” I begin to argue before he abruptly cuts me off. 

“Would you like to share the shake with me, Y/N?” he asks me, looking me directly in the eye. I froze for a moment, taken aback at the offer from the germaphobe in front of me.

“If that’s okay with you, Spence. Then, sure!” I respond, checking if it was okay with him. 

“I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t okay, Y/N.” He shoots back, chuckling at me before asking the server for two straws. The man in front of me steals more and more of my heart with every passing moment.

***

Going up the elevator to the BAU was a constant battle between us. Spencer secretly gave the server his card so I wouldn’t even have a chance to fight him on paying. 

“You gave me your trail mix, Y/N! That’s the whole reason I asked you to get lunch in the first place! Why would I let you pay when I extended the invitation?” He shoots at me as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Shooting him a look of discontent, we both sit back at our desks, feeling 2 pairs of eyes staring at us from a few desks over. 

“Don’t look now, but I think Tweedledee and Tweedledum are staring at us.” I lean over to whisper. Reid tries his best to look up at them, nonchalant as possible. Despite the boy being a genius, he is anything but sly, looking just in time to see Derek and Penelope snap their heads to whatever was on his desk. Giving them a smile, Reid picks up his own file to return to his own tasks for the day. However, the task only lasted so long before the genius needed yet another cup of coffee for the day. Heading off to the kitchen, I quickly grab the phone he left on his desk on his break, trying to plan the perfect image. 

Before I could get far, I was abruptly stopped in my tracks. Staring at the homescreen on his phone, I couldn’t understand how I hadn’t noticed this before. Had this been in front of my face the entire time? Staring at the screen, I see myself and Spencer from our weekly movie nights. I had all of our silly photos, yet I had never seen this one. I see myself, puffed out cheeks with my eyes crossed, pulling at my ears to make myself look like a monkey, but my eyes can only look at Spencer. He hadn’t made his silly face. Instead, the man before me is staring directly at me, the sweetest smile across his lips. His little nose scrunch in full effect, his beautiful hazel eyes creased in the corner from his smile. That smile that could melt my heart in two seconds flat. Staring at the screen for what felt like centuries, I refocus on my surroundings when I hear his soft voice behind me. 

“Wow, Y/N. Getting a little slow with the changes now, are we?” He laughs, before noticing the look on my face. Stopping dead in his tracks, he looks at me confused more than ever. Not being able to form words, I raise my hand to show him the wallpaper, the perfect image of us. His eyes go wide, his mug almost slipping through his fingers.

“Y/N, I-” He starts. 

“Spence… Where did this picture come from?” I ask him, looking back at the screen before me. “I’ve never seen this one before,” I whisper, before Spencer puts his hands over mine, the mug now living on his desk. 

“I, uh. I took this one before making a face, I just couldn’t resist.” He whispers, pulling my chin up gently between his two fingers, looking me dead in the eye. “Y/N…” He starts, glancing down before gazing back at me with the same look I saw at the restaurant. “I couldn’t resist because I wanted to keep a physical copy of one of the happiest moments of my life. And I care about you... More than care about you! You make my days so much brighter when you’re around. You’re the only person to ever know me, the real me. And I..” he trails off, working his confidence up to finish his thought. “I love you, Y/N. And that picture was saved, locked away on my phone so I could be reminded how much you mean to me, and how much you care on some of my darkest days. I love you, Y/N. It’s the only thing I have locked away because it’s the moment I knew I was in love with you.” He finishes, breathing out as he waits for me to react. Stunned into silence, I stand there looking at the man, seeing his face turn to panic. “It’s okay if you do-” He starts, stunned when he is cut off by his plush lips being covered by my own. He slides his hand onto my cheek, holding my face as he returns the affection. 

Pulling away, I look him dead in the eye, I pull out of his embrace to my own desk, grabbing my phone. Returning to his side, I unlock my phone to show him my own hidden homescreen, a grin spreading on my cheeks from the flood of emotion. From our self-care night, it is quite possibly my favorite image of the man. He was in his robe, bunny headband and mask, but he was trying to block the images from being taken. His hand was raised in an attempt, but I could hear the laughter radiate from the image, the smile making my heart swoon at every glance. Looking between me and the image, Spencer’s jaw drops at my own revelation, before pulling me into a bone-crushing hug. Burying my face in his neck, I murmur my own “I love you.” Before a whistle from the peanut gallery beside us breaks it up. 

Shooting a look to Penelope, I see she has the biggest smile plastered on her own face, her rosy cheeks probably stinging from the sheer joy painted on. Morgan sitting beside her lounges back in his own chair, shooting a wink our way. 

Returning to our respective seats, I can’t help but steal glances at the man beside me. When he catches me, I can’t help but giggle.

“Hey Spence. How long was I oblivious to your homescreen?” I ask him, curious as to how much of a dumbass I truly was. Seeing his cheeks flush pink, he turns to me with guilt in his eyes, 

“Y/N.. as much as I would love to take the credit, I don’t know where the wallpaper came from. I can barely change it back after you mess with it.” He confesses, a shy smile on his face. Laughing at his technophobe ways, it finally registers that he didn’t actually set the wallpaper. 

“Wait, then who changed it?” I ask him, before hearing stilettos and boots scurrying down the hall, laughter trailing behind them. Looking back at my boy, those eyes stole all my words away, and that smile… the smile I had seen so many times before but never knew the intention, the smile I fell in love with, I knew he would forever be my always.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @spencer-reid-in-a-pool​  @redbullchick​  @samanddeanstolethetardis221b​   @reidetic​ @gretaamyk​ @sunlight-moonrise​ @prettyricky187​ @rileysann​ @itslatinamagia​ @timey-wimey-lovi​  @pinkdiamond1016​

[sugar-petals]

BTS Scenario: Dating a Tall Girl

a/n. inspired by anon who like me is a honorary member of the ‘taller than my bias’ assembly so let’s treat ourselves shall we 💃

warnings ⚠️  none, all fluff :)

➸ Taehyung Listen, listen. Here is the MVP. I mean think about it. Why’d you not put a model next to the shining man who embodies Gucci, Dolce, Gabbana, Versace, Armani, Prada, the Italian and French spirit! He can’t help but wanting to put designer clothes and accessories on her and show up together with her to stun at social events. That’s a lot of press and praise they’ll be getting. It’s only logical. Presents galore are on their way, she will be terribly spoiled and revered and he’ll admit he’s absolutely overdoing it. And then again, she’s also his number one cuddlebot and girl to hug in his sleep. No longer embracing pillows for this gent, and you can imagine he is in good hands. To summarize: It’s an all-round good idea.

➸ Seokjin Has been praying for a 6′2 queen for years. Being way on eye level with the number one worldwide handsome man sure is like a knighting or hitting the jackpot. Definitely knows how its like up there and will laugh at silly or embarrassing head bumping stories together with her. Tall life is like being a disoriented stormtrooper in a tiny ass spaceship, let’s be honest. Or they go on endless rants about never finding the right trousers because legs legs legs. Some Jinmoney has to solve that problem with a personal tailor am I right. As for their favorite activity: Jin will paddle out on a lake regularly to do some fishing together. Four long arms have a better chance than just two, so. It’s not the biggest ever deal to him, Seokjin doesn’t think it’s her utmost defining feature in their relationship.

➸ Yoongi Our open-minded fella (funny way to put it but you’ve heard him destroying ideal type stereotypes at fansigns a hundred times) who, despite being the smallest in the group, aims high in his usual manner. What Yoongi wants, Yoongi loves, and Yoongi gets. Or... does he date her to feel extra cute? Maybe so, maybe so! If he admits it, he’s a little bit jealous of her height, but also deeply protected. What other gf could feel like home and have such major roommate vibes. In his practical mind, and with time in particular, things get much more sorted out. If she has what he can’t have, and he himself is perky pocket size, why not fully capitalize on it. Yoongi will also draw inspiration for his songs out of her looks. 

➸ Jimin So, the sweet mochi man it is. A more difficult case. Will, as you might already suspect, take some time to get used to this when it plays out in daily life. But I think he’s gonna realize something. Just because he’s the tiny one, it doesn’t mean he’s less loved or gets overlooked because that’s what he fears, not actually being too smol. In fact, he owns his height really well once he knows he’s not ignored. Now: All the heaps of her affection arguably can’t be stored in his height but surely in his fluffy hair that can hold all the compliments in the world. So there’s that. What is gonna be immense fun to him is doing athletic activities with her. It’s always a sexy thing to do couple yoga or latin dance as a height difference pair. I think at the bottom of his heart, Jimin knows he makes the best little spoon.

➸ Hoseok What he thinks about her height? Swag! Looks up to her literally and figuratively and he enjoys it. Meanwhile, a lot of situational comedy will arise, I’m telling you. Hobi is going to tease her a bit for her occasionally lanky dancing if he dares. Maybe after a beer or two. She will simply say it’s ‘exquisitely Namjoonesque’ and call it a day. Nobody in their right mind will argue about their own jopping skills in front of Jung Hoseok. Now, in all seriousness. If his mixtape is blasting she will unlock new levels of moving her body, what did you think! He is definitely impressed by her physique and you know... the making out will be steamy out in public because this girl makes Hoseok reckless oh my god.

➸ Namjoon Talk about Joonie. We’ve heard he likes tall girls. And hey, the man is equipped with delicious logic, he got this figured out from the start. You gotta make the couple proportions work you know. So of course he won’t hesitate to ask her out once he worked out her character and if he’s her taste. Past that point, overcautious Namjoon is out the door, RM will take over from there. All of town quickly spreads the word because this double tower power simply cannot be overlooked strutting down the pavements. And, man. If Namjoon doesn’t come along with someone who can’t pinch his dimples, all that architectural efforts that God exerted when creating RM was for naught. Yeah boy, this is what a viking couple looks like. 

➸ Jungkook Frequent things he will say under his breath in reaction to her: “Just like Tyra Banks!” — “Blake Lively style!” — and even: “That was like Namjoon did it!” — Long story short, Jungkook can’t really hide his mixture of complete adoration and envy. How the world is like in her eyes is the most interesting thing to him, no wonder he’s always found by her side. So, it takes him a while to settle for a more moderate feeling about the height difference. He’s the kinda guy who formerly wished to be taller but has started to accept that he is somewhere in the middle where it’s actually a very comfortable spot as he learns. He likes to sit down with her to brush her hair or give a back massage.

art: Windflowers (1903) — by John W. Waterhouse

[xenteaart]

Messy

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Summary: You and Five got headhunted by the Handler after she’d rescued the two of you from the apocalypse. You are basically partners kinda like Hazel and Cha-Cha except there’s a much stronger bond between you two because you had to spend around 10 years surviving the apocalypse side by side prior to your involvement with the Commission.

(So both Five and reader are now 23-25 ish). 

Warnings: blood, mentions of violence

Note: this is a very random thing and pls keep in mind i’ve never written five before so i’m not quite sure how to capture his character yet but i just couldn't get this image out of my head so. ALSO i used someone’s headcanon about five’s skin burning after his spatial jumps and i’m so sorry i can’t remember who it was but THANK YOu for this hc it’s amazing. enjoy!

also you can check out my headcanons and kinda background story for this fic here !

This particular mission had gone unnecessarily bloody a bit too quickly. You and Five were very well-trained hitmen since the Handler made sure you got the best of the best as your mentors, and you were usually quite efficient when it came to taking someone out - always clean shots, always fast and professional. Part of the reason why you both tried to be as precise as possible was your still present humanity. You never really wanted to be doing this job in the first place but as Five once told you during your breakdown over how big of a mistake accepting the deal was - there’s no good guys or bad guys, there’s just people going about their lives, and making the deal was the only way out of that nightmare you two were living. The least you could do was make people’s deaths as quick and painless as possible.

This night, however, happened to be an exception from your familiar well-established shoot-from-afar-and-be-done routine. Your victim had noticed the both of you way before you needed him to which resulted in him bringing some unexpected company that you had to deal with. Of course, you were trained for all sorts of gone-wrong scenarios but it never gave you any thrill or pleasure. In fact, you hated when things got messy and you had to use your own hands to snap necks and crack bones. 

You and Five were now heading back to the motel, quite literally soaked in blood, your suits so badly stained it was easier to throw them away and get new ones instead. The deafening silence in the car was starting to give you a pounding headache on top of the one you already had from your mission, and Five’s palpable tension right beside you was not helping. 

He was the one driving this time, his eyebrows were knitted together, his lips tightly pressed into a thin line of bottled anger and something that resembled disappointment, although you couldn’t quite riddle out the exact emotion that was painted over his features.

“My skin is on fire.” Five uttered, exhaustion and hints of pain seeping through the crack in his voice. It tended to happen when he did too many spatial jumps, his gift turning into a curse and causing him so much physical discomfort he could barely breathe as the rearranging atoms were dancing across his skin and settling back into the state they were supposed to be in. 

Being put in the circumstances the two of you got put in meant you had gotten insanely close. Taking care of each other's health and mental well-being in the ashy remnants of what used to be your home would not have been possible if you hadn’t figured out a way to get comfortable around each other and improved your communication skills to perfection. At this point in your relationship there was barely anything you couldn’t do in front of each other, nudity now seeming a laughable reason to feel embarrassed or awkward. 

Naturally, as you finally stepped foot into your motel room, the only two things you and Five could think about were getting rid of your bloody clothes and running yourselves a bath. You always made it cold to help soothe Five’s burning skin and relieve the excruciating ache that came after especially challenging missions. Besides, the temperature often helped you sober up and clear your mind a little so it was perfect for both of you.

As soon as you and Five got into the bathtub, a loud sigh escaped his lips as he buried his face in his knees and wrapped his arms around his legs, quite literally turning into a shaking ball of pain and irritation. Sometimes even he questioned whether agreeing to work for the Commission was the brightest decision in the long run.

“C’mon, give me your hands,” you whispered, gently brushing over his fingers and leaning towards him; your pose now mirroring his as you pressed your knees to your chest. The water was slowly turning into a pinkish shade as the dry blood was starting to come off your skin and dissolve into it. Five simply looked up to meet your gaze and complied without saying a word.

You took his hands and began to gently rub them in circles, still careful not to inflict too much pain on his already hurting skin while delicately scrubbing off the evidence of your tonight’s misadventure. You knew he hated having blood on his hands just as much as you did, the crimson stains serving as a frustrating reminder of the price you had to pay to escape a lifetime of being stranded in a lifeless world, surviving off scraps and sleeping on the cold ground.

As you reached your small pocket knife that was resting on the nearby sink, you started to clean the blood from under Five’s fingernails, the knife’s blade thin enough to get all of it out but not nearly sharp enough to cut his flesh or hurt him at all. Doing that felt a lot like meditation in its own way. You were way too focused on caring for Five’s hands and getting them clean to let any disturbing thought intrude your mind and throw you off balance. It worked for him too as he was quietly watching your own hands move slowly and steadily as you were taking your time. 

The silence between you shifted into something a lot more comforting and peaceful (all things considered), and you could feel Five’s shoulders drop a little as he relaxed more and more into your caring touch. 

“You okay?” he asked matter-of-factly, even though you knew he was downplaying it mostly to avoid facing the reality of how shit the situation you two ended up in actually was. Also, you knew he cared. A lot. 

Instead of replying, you simply gave Five a weak smile as if to say “you already know the answer but I appreciate you asked anyway” and leant in to press your forehead against his, such close proximity of his face to yours never failing to make you calmer no matter how hard things had gotten. You timidly rubbed your nose against Five’s, brushing over its slightly crooked shape with your tip and moving all the way up to his still furrowed brows. 

“Okay, but this is just silly,” he rolled his eyes, unable to resist a soft smile which made a dimple on his cheek deepen a little as the corner of his lips curved in a tired yet somewhat amused expression.

“You’re welcome,” you replied with a nod and planted a light kiss on his cheek before returning your full attention to his bloody fingernails. 

Five looked at you with infinite gratitude and almost adoration, still genuinely surprised at how comfortable and safe he felt around you, considering he never let any other human being come even remotely as close as you did. 

He never properly said it, never addressed how he felt about you, and quite frankly - he didn’t even know what to call your relationship. But he did know that sitting in a cold bath in a cheap crappy motel in the middle of nowhere felt more like home than anywhere else merely because you were right next to him, and for now he couldn’t ask for more. 

[mrsmarymorstan]

Don't why the fans especially the manga readers are hyping about tooru breaking the curse when she didn't even do shit. she just went on that silly adventure and be an annoying crybaby whenever she learns something new about the curse. it was actually akito who broke the curse so i can't understand what you are all hyping tohru on.

Ah yes, I to remember the days when I’d be deliberately antagonistic just for fun and beat on female characters for showing emotions and caring about people. Or indeed, resent characters for having entirely realistic reactions to the cosmic horror and terror that surrounds them. Then I turned 16 and HER WE ARE ten years later and I get to see it from a whole new perspective! What fun. 

In your misguided attempt to cause drama by shitting on people having a good time by being excited about upcoming character moments, much like Dr Flemming’s unwashed petri dish, you have hit upon something that benefits further discussion and interest. 

That point being, was it TOHRU who broke the curse, or was it Akito? 

The answer, I believe, is both. SPOILERS FOR ANIME ONLIES TONY YOU ARE WARNED DO NOT @ ME AGAIN IF YOU MESS UP. 

When Tohru sets out to break the curse and stop the love of her life from being locked up in a cold dark room for the rest of his existence, she finds out that the curse is firstly, a bond of blood sworn by the spririts of the past and not something that can be physically manifested, and secondly, that the curse has already begun to break RE: Kureno. 

Now, there’s a LOT of theories about why Kureno’s curse broke and if it truly was some random event or if there was a trigger. I think it’s a combination of the two. It’s noted by the maids and by (I think) Shigure that this is the first time in a long time that the entire Juunishi are present. There is also a sizeable age gap betwee Hiro and Kureno, that would about match up between Hiro being an infant when Kureno’s curse broke. Ergo, I propose that his curse broke soon after their first New Year’s together as a complete banquet with no spaces missing. Save that of the cat, of course, but more on him later. 

Kureno is the rooster, and I believe that in legend the Rooster was seen as the closest to God because he could deliver messages between heaven and earth. Therefore it makes sense that the first to leave God alone, is God’s messenger. “We have had our final Banquet, it’s time to end the cycle.” 

Of course Akito/God does not have a positive reaction to this, and the loss of one Juunishi inspires a great sense of loneliness and fear within Akito similar to that which lead to the creation of the bond in the first place. We do not see God being willing to make any attempt to work on achieving the Cat’s wish of finally being able to form friendships beyond the Zodiac and forming bonds with the humans he was so afraid of before. 

And THAT is the crux of the matter. Tohru came into the Sohma’s lives and began to break the curse simply by forming close bonds with them all, and letting them into her life and react to the world around them. Hana and Uo are both friends with Kyo and Yuki, actively choosing to spend time together. We also see that in Kyo attending the same school as Yuki, it opens up that same school to Haru and Momiji where they too can form bonds outside of the Sohma influence. It’s a school THEY chose, not the single sex one Akito picked out. Equally this means we have to give some credit to Yuki for making the brave choice of defying his parents and Akito’s wishes by attending a mixed school, and Shigure (who continues to be the mastermind here) for goading Akito into allowing Kyo to also attend that school and not simply pay off the private school he was MEANT to attend and have them let him back in. 

It’s also no real surprise that the two other Juunishi whose curses break before the final scene are Momiji and Hiro. Hiro is shown to be forming bonds outside of the Zodiac too. Not only has he matured enough that he is able to understand things from Tohru’s perspective now and has a relatively positive relationship with her, he ALSO becomes a Big Brother with a little sister he adores. Again, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that his curse breaks whilst he is in the same room as her. The Sheep has formed a meaningful relationship outside of the Zodaic, so it is time for the Sheep Spirit to return to its original realm. We then have Momiji, who is absolutely desperately in love with Tohru and is also equally desperate to be allowed to have a relationship with his OWN sister. Momiji’s curse breaks only after he has gone through puberty though and reaches adulthood. It’s when he starts to truly understand the path that is laid before him, and where he stands in it. He WANTS a relationship with Tohru, but he can also recognise that she is in love with Kyo and that makes it all the more painful. He knows that as he ages he is only going to be made to feel more distant from his sister, and that hurts too. HOWEVER, Momiji doesn’t ever stop LONGING for meaningful relationships and a world beyond the life of the Zodiac. He recognises that he does not have anything really tying him to the Sohma anymore, and so his curse breaks. The rabbit spirit has no need to be part of the banquet, and so heads home.   

Now, as you can see, whilst Tohru is a key trigger in the breaking of the curse, she’s still not the one to actively do it, right? 

Well, wrong. Sort of. 

Take note that when we’re told the ACTUAL story of the Original Banquet , we find that the Cat was the first friend God ever made, and was also the first to die. It was the death of the cat that triggered God into creating the eternal bond that would always bring them together, and it was the cat’s terror and dismay at being forced into such a bond that caused them to disown him. The cat has, all along, simply wanted God to make friends. The first who had the curse take effect upon them, was the one who rejectd it the most and as such was then shunned forever more. The cat wanted God to make bonds outside of the Zodiac, and in turn the cat was forever banned form making those bonds. Even though we’ve been show the Cat was granted some realtionships in the form of Kazuma’s Grandmother; it is a relationship made out of pitty rather than love and understanding. 

Tohru though? Torhu is the God Damned (excuse the pun) Year of the Cat Fanclub PRESIDENT. Nobody loves and respects the OG Cat Spirit in the way she does. She emphasied with the Cat’s plight in the legend her mother told her, feeling sorry for them being tricked like that and being forced to miss out on being part of the legend. She wanted the cat to join the group! She cradled the cat’s body in much the same way God in his final moments, as instead this time Tohru brings him back into the light and forms a stronger and longer lasting relationship with the cat spirit through love and empathy.

And later on, in that same mountainside, it is TOHRU who is the one who reaches out her hand to god and asks to become friends. It is the act of God forming friends with mortal humans that triggers Akito/God to finally release everyone from their curse. That’s why it happens when it does, when Akito knows that Tohru is safely out of hospital, that she has still welcomed Akito into her life... and that if Akito is going to take those terrifying steps into forming relationships that can end in rejection, she’s going to have to do it on her own two feet. 

THAT is how Tohru breaks the curse. THAT is what is important here and what is so FUCKING HARD ROCK about Tohru Honda. We see her willing to stand up to GOD in order to break the curse, but she stands before God as an EQUAL. Tohru WILL break the curse. She WILL fight for her soulmate. She WILL make you be friends with her and address your deep seated issues of self hate and abandonment (not that she has those issues herself ahahahha no I’m just your average happy go lucky teenager with two dead parents who lives in a tent I’M FINE) 

Of course, it turns out that everything Shigure and Kazuma told her about breaking the curse was true: That she didn’t have to do anything other than to continue to be herself. HOWEVER, in order to BE herself she needed to try and have a “silly adventure” where she tested her metal and learnt to speak up for herself. Why are we excited? Because we’re going to see Tohru finally find the confidence to speak out against others without harm! We see her get into a fight with Rin about it. We see her refusing to back down against Kagura. We see her standing on her own two feet and saying “No. No I don’t want that. I REFUSE to give in and to leave well alone!” 

All before, Tohru has been so scared to speak up for herself because of her debilitating abandonment issues (and please let’s not make fun of people’s mental health issues, okay? I haven’t been having a weekly therapy session for nearly two years now just because for the fun of it) but now she’s got to the point where she feels comfortable and secure enough to show an uglier side to herself that people might reject. She is able to be mean, and shout, and fucking break into someone’s house in order to get what she wants! How can a TRUE fruits basket fan NOT be excitd for that level of character development? 

And to end it, please, for the LOVE OF GOD it is 2020. I am 26 years old. I have been on tumblr since 2011. Do not send me hate about female fictional characters and expect me to roll over. My username is “Mrs Mary Morstan”. Mary. Morstan. The most hated female character in all of BBC Sherlock. Do not even try to fucking test me, you Petri Dish.