#I shouldn't have ever had to feel that fear and neither should anyone else.

[wadewilsoniii]

There are manmade horrors beyond your comprehension taking place outside of fandom spaces and the internet. Horrible people are harming other real people every day. Being so down to die on the hill where no real people were placed in harm's path to produce content baffles me to no end. It May do harm to someone who has something as a trigger who finds morally complex content maybe. But they are responsible for managing their response and avoiding that content. I can be responsible for not showing it to them, of course, but I need to be asked to do so because I don't read minds and shouldn't be expected to scan everything I enjoy for every potentially morally reprehensible aspect that could be under the surface. I am not emotionally responsible for the rest of the world. I can't be. I have enough of my own problems and trauma to address. A fantasy that lets me work through problems in a way other people may not find morally acceptable isn't the worst thing happening in the world.

There's a really unhealthy expectation online these days that other people are emotionally responsible for you and your responses to things. It bleeds into how much we're expected to emotionally support each other regardless of the potential for harm to ourselves via neglecting our own emotional or physical needs. This behavior is so normalized that I think it has a very strong connection to this over moralization problem.

I am an adult who can logically understand how certain content that I enjoy may impact others, and the impact that fiction can have on reality. However, if we make the argument that violent video games, for example, can't be blamed for someone going out and doing something reprehensible with a gun, we can absolutely make the same argument about a lot of other content. You may not like that someone else may engage fictional content for something morally wrong in real life, and you're allowed to not like it! But a lot of problems are in the nicer things you might like, too. We can acknowledge those problems but not torment ourselves about them, right?

Some of the "worst" content out there is content made by people who were victims of some of the worst humans can do to each other. And I know there's an argument to be made that they're re-traumatizing themselves and that it's anti-recovery to engage these topics, but I staunchly disagree as a victim of many of those horrible injustices myself. I think that insisting someone is wrong for engaging content because you find its existence inherently problematic and accusing it of perpetuating and encouraging the problem is severely harmful.

Here's why.

When you go through abuse - ANY kind of abuse, a really huge and defining portion emotionally of going through that is the isolation. It brings to you this feeling of otherness. Both while it's happening, and after. The terrible things you went through were normalized for you, even if they were scary and hurt you really badly. When you try to talk about your experiences with the abuse you've gone through, people will make strange faces, say uncomfortable things that are meant to be comforting but just make you feel different and afraid of what happened to you again. People even often make comments that you're going to put your own abuse back into the world because, supposedly, abused individuals will repeat abusive behaviors - when really, they seek the abuse out again for that feeling of safety and familiarity even if it WAS scary. It was all they knew.

Personally I'm all for a concept called harm reduction. Having access to fictional morally questionable content allows us to see every facet of the world and how it works. We can't hide from the fact that these things exist. Abused people especially can't hide from it, they LIVED it. Having spaces where it's safe to engage these things is critical to healing, it isn't anti-recovery - it's PRO SAFETY. Fiction is a safe vehicle to process trauma. Going out to look for someone who might do the same thing to you is NOT a safe vehicle for that.

There's so much yelling online about how horrible content with certain topics in it is and god, there's things that disgust me too! There's things I want nothing to do with seeing, that I don't want to interact with or even know exists, but I also understand that there are some people who NEED that. Because otherwise they may not be safe. I want to argue that so much fandom discourse around how morally questionable media is handled horribly poorly and disregards the needs of abuse victims.

Some abuse victims don't feel the way that I do about this and that's okay! I know that it's scary to know there's people who are LOOKING for the awful things that happened to you in fiction. Maybe those people never even went through the kinds of things that are being depicted. Maybe it helps them to survive some other aspect of their life. Maybe they don't need a reason and maybe you don't need to know it, but protecting yourself when you know something can hurt you shouldn't be the responsibility of other abuse victims. And making other abuse victims feel like they're putting their own pain back into the world and hurting others with it and making them afraid of the pain that happened to them, making them cry, and panic, and force themselves to repress their own feelings or needs to make the rest of the world comfortable with them? That's wrong. That's reinforcing the otherness. That's making us afraid that we're the very evil we fear, and then making us live KNOWING we are, because all the yelling insists that we are.

I get that there's a lot of other nuance to it, and I know these issues are complicated and bring up a lot of negative feelings for a lot of people, and I absolutely encourage everyone to always consume media critically and thoughtfully, but to remove the reality of horribleness from media, or to shame someone for making the horribleness of their own abuse into something less scary (even if it's romanticizing something terrible), or even to shame people for making content that makes those things less scary is not the way to do it. We live in a scary world, guys. Let people take comfort where they can find it and stay away from the stuff you don't like. Ask for things to be spoilered, tagged, handled respectfully, or not placed in your space to protect yourself if need be, but do not call other people names or gaslight them or attack them because you don't like things.

We're living in scary enough times without having to be afraid one wrong post or fanfiction left open on your desktop could lead to being screamed at for weeks, or months, or even years. We don't need to put more fear into the world. If you're really worried about the moral horribleness of things, you should worry about why that content existed in the first place. Donate to outreach groups, participate in events that help real victims of abuse. Do things to help people offline who are being harmed or who may be harmed by real actions outside of fiction. Watch for people who are interacting with other people inappropriately and handle them appropriately. Don't assume just because someone likes something you find morally wrong that that they ARE the evil. Assume the evil happened to them. Watch how they treat other people and if they ARE putting the evil back into the world then deal with it appropriately. Put in effort where it will really be helping another person instead of effort where it makes abuse victims afraid of themselves.

Moralizing everything to this degree is harmful and unsustainable just like OP said.

Whenever people try to tell me to ship "moral ships" I like to think about how inherently immoral it is to flirt with service workers at coffee shops where they're obliged to be nice to you so... many coffee shop AUs are like. Immoral. But given that they are a fantasy where this is instant romance without the fear of trapping a service worker in an uncomfortable situation that's tantamount to workplace sexual harassment, I enjoy the cutesy coffee shop AUs immensely.

And that's basically my attitude towards all fantasy. There's lots of things I enjoy in fantasy that wouldn't work IRL. Enemies to lovers. Sudden kisses. Miscommunications in relationships. Codependency. Fight sluts who physically assault each other while emotionally connecting.

Once you start ascribing your morals to the fiction you consume, you tend to miss the issues in even the most innocuous, innocent seeming scenarios. It's easy to judge other people's fictional enjoyment until someone points out your innocent coffee shop AU is romanticised workplace harassment.

But it's all fiction. It's a fantasy. That's why it's fine.

A lack of education around things like consent, healthy relationships, self respect and respect of others, bodily autonomy, etc, has made people think they can rely only on fiction to tell them what right - but that's dangerous. And unsustainable.

[liminal-space-lesbian]

Friends Family

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x fem!reader, Platonic!Sam Carpenter x fem!reader

Warnings: Mentions of sexual harassment, Frankie, brief mention of fetishization of wlw relationships, Tara gets pissed, negative self image, R has no self esteem💔

Summary: Frankie tried to make a move on you as you were walking to class to pick up Tara as usual, and he can't keep his hands to himself. When Tara hears about this she is not happy- and neither is Sam.

Words: 2,521

Breakfast in Bed (part one)

a/n I kinda went crazy with this one I'm ngl...

It seemed that after your conversation with Sam in the kitchen that she had less reservations towards you. She was still Sam, but she was less... scary. It was a nice change, you welcomed it.

You sat around the kitchen table with Tara, Chad, Ethan, Quinn, Mindy, Anika and Sam, all of you enjoying some Chinese takeout. Everyone was retelling the events of their day. You nodded along politely to Ethan's story, but in truth you weren't really listening. You were too focused on the the way Tara was gripping your knee possessively under the table. You kept glancing at her and her jaw was clenched as she pushed her food around her plate with her chopsticks.

"You're quiet tonight Tara. What's up?" The ever perceptive Anika asked sweetly. causing everyone to turn to look at Tara in concern. She let out a huff, leaning back in her chair in irritation, turning her gaze towards you.

"Do you want to tell them or should I?" She asked in an annoyed tone, and you looked down at your plate and shook your head.

"Tara, it wasn't that big of a deal-" You try to placate her, knowing she was about to go on a rant.

"No, it definitely is." Tara interrupts indignantly before turning to the group. "When (Y/n) was walking to pick me up from class Frankie decided to try and make a move on her." Tara spits, anger evident in her tone. You squirm awkwardly in your seat, glancing at Tara worriedly. You didn't like seeing her so angry and upset over something. Sure Frankie was a douchebag, but you could handle it, she shouldn't have to worry.

"It wasn't that bad." You say quietly, and Tara turns to you with raised eyebrows.

"Oh? Why don't you tell everyone what he said then, and they can decide if what he said was okay." She insists and you let out a resigned sigh, setting down your chopsticks as you have lost your appetite.

"He just said he had seen me walking through the quad between classes... and that if I ever wanted to hookup with anyone while skipping he was "ready and available."" You mumble, avoiding Tara's gaze. Mindy gives a loud gag, and Anika screws up her face into a look of disgust.

"Ew." Ethan mutters, looking a little freaked out.

"Mhm, and what did he say when you told him you had a girlfriend?" Tara urges, and you shoot her a dirty look. She simply glares back at you and you sigh, again.

"He said the usual gross douchey thing about liking girl on girl action or whatever." You said quietly and Chad let out a groan, rubbing his hands over his face in exasperation, Mindy gagged again and Anika let out a squeal of disgust while Quinn stared open mouthed in shock.

"And?" Tara prompted and you slumped in your seat, feeling embarrassed by the amount of attention on you at the moment.

"And when I tried to leave he grabbed my arm and tried to like... kiss me or something." You say so quietly that nobody would have heard you if not for the room being dead silent.

"What?!"

"No fucking way!"

"He needs to get reported or something, what the hell?"

"Seriously? I'm gonna beat his ass."

"It's okay! I just ripped my arm out of his hand and ran away. He didn't try to follow me or anything." You quickly try to placate over the cacophony of voices. Before anyone could say anything else Sam's calm voice cut through the room.

"It is not okay." She said firmly and you froze under her gaze. She looked immeasurably angry, and even though you knew the anger was not directed at you, you still shivered in fear.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it." Sam assured as she got to her feet. Normally Tara would be protesting about Sam "handling" things, but this time she stayed silent.

"No, Sam it's okay don't worry about it, really-" You attempted to placate her, but she silenced you with a firm look.

"No. You don't fuck with my family and get away with it." She grits out before grabbing her coat and heading to the door. "I'll be back later, don't wait up for me." She says before slamming the door. Everyone sits in a tense silence for a moment, and you shrink in your seat as you feel everyone's eyes on you.

"Her family huh?" Mindy suddenly chimes in, smirking to herself. Anika gave an exasperated gasp and scoldingly swatted Mindy's shoulder.

"Mindy, stop it." She chastises and her girlfriend simply chuckles, looking to Chad for affirmation.

"What? I mean come on, look at Sam getting all mushy for (Y/n) too. It's kinda cute! Like she's off probation or something." Mindy teases, grinning as you hide your blush in your hands.

"Guysss." You whine, sliding lower in your seat.

"I mean it's kinda true. Sam has seemed less uptight about (Y/n) lately." Quinn agrees, a smirk rising on her face as well. Ethan chuckles and nods in agreement, and you look to Tara for help, only to see her looking smug as well.

"I'm going to bed!" You say suddenly as you stand up and scurry off to Tara's bedroom, blushing the entire way. Why did Sam care so much about you suddenly? Why did all of them care so much? It was just you, it's not like it was a big deal.

"Honey, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." Tara apologizes as she enters the room, coming to sit beside you on the bed. You lay face down, hiding your blush in Tara's soft quilt. You don't react and Tara lets out a long suffering sigh.

"Listen, I know you don't think it was a big deal, but it really is. Usually I hate when Sam takes things into her own hands, but this time it's honestly merited. What Frankie did was disgusting and unacceptable." Tara says resolutely as she gently rubs your back. You roll over to peer up at her, a pained expression on your face.

"I just don't want to make it a big deal. I mean it just happened to me, it's not like it was..." You trail off as Tara's gaze turns fiery. She reaches out to press her finger to your lips, silencing you.

"Don't even think about finishing that thought." She spits, taking a deep breath to calm her anger. "Don't you even think for a second that you are somehow less important or valuable or- or lovable just because you're you." Tara murmurs, her voice wavering as her bottom lip wobbles and tears well in her eyes. You feel your heart clench painfully in your chest. You didn't want Tara to cry for you, you were fine.

"You always go on and on about how you want to take care of me, and protect me. Well now it's my turn to do the same. You deserve to be taken care of too." Tara insists, her eyes impossibly sad as she looks down at you. You don't entirely believe her words. You weren't even comparable to her, she was perfect- in every meaning of the word.

"If what happened to you today happened to me, how would you feel?" She asks, and you immediately scowl.

"I'd be pissed as hell and I'd probably go beat him within an inch of his life." You blurt quickly, the mere thought of Frankie even so much as being near Tara igniting a deep protectiveness within you. As soon as you said it you realized her point.

"See? Now do you understand why we all are so upset about this?" Tara asks, sniffling slightly as she cups your face in her hands. You lean into her touch, letting out a resigned sigh.

"I... guess. I mean I still don't understand how you guys can feel like that about me." You say, not fully grasping how such amazing people could be so worried about you. You weren't anything special. You were even below average, actually.

"I don't understand how you cannot see how amazing you are." Tara murmurs as she scoots closer to you, leaning down to kiss your lips with a tenderness that makes your bones ache. "You are beautiful, and smart, and kind and so many other things." Tara whispers as she begins littering your face with gentle kisses. "I love you." She murmurs, pressing a final kiss to your lips before pulling back to look at you.

Your heart skips a beat in your chest as you realize she is crying. Tears leave tracks down her face and sit heavy on her eyelashes as she looks down at you. She sniffles as you wipe her tears, frowning up at her.

"Don't cry, please?" You ask as you sit up and wrap her in a hug, gently rubbing her back. You felt guilty now. Perhaps you hadn't taken the encounter seriously enough. Maybe you shouldn't have even told Tara in the first place, then nobody would have been upset.

"Stop it, I can hear you thinking." Tara scolds lightly, her voice thick with tears as she pulls away from your hug. She jabs her finger into your chest as she gives you a half hearted glare. "Don't feel bad about it, it wasn't your fault. sure we're all mad and upset but we're not mad at you." She reminds you as you wipe her tears again, still feeling a bit guilty.

"Okay?" She prompts, searching your gaze. You shuffle a bit closer to her, so you're practically sitting in her lap.

"Okay." You murmur, before you gently ease her sweater off her shoulders, standing up to hang it in her closet. You also unbutton her jeans and pull them down her legs, folding them and setting them on her desk to be put in the wash tomorrow. You pulled her shirt over her head and folded that as well, before offering her her favorite pair of pajamas. The entire time you avoided Tara's gaze, because you know she was looking at you with those eyes.

"I should be the one taking care of you, you know." Tara protests as you change into pajamas as well, heading to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

"Mm... Maybe. But I enjoy it more." You tease with a grin, causing her to chuckle. She follows you to the bathroom and takes what's remaining of her mascara off, brushing her teeth as well. You can't help but admire her as she moves, going about her usual nightly routine. She was so beautiful, even doing something as mundane as brushing her teeth.

"You're staring." Tara says with a chuckle after she rinses the toothpaste out of her mouth. You blink at her and smile gently.

"Well the view is amazing." You compliment, causing her to blush slightly. She kisses you gently before leading you to bed, which you oblige happily. It doesn't take long before you fall asleep in her arms, warm and safe as you were wrapped in the blankets.

~ ~ ~

The next day you are walking with the group, hand in hand with Tara as everyone heads to lunch. As you are walking you notice Frankie on the other side of the quad, and you let out a loud gasp, causing everyone to turn to see what you were staring at.

"Holy shit." Quinn says, dumbfounded. Frankie looks like he was beaten within an inch of his life. He was sporting two black eyes, his nose and bottom lip swollen and red. His eyes were downcast as he hurried to his next class and you blanched, staring open mouthed.

"Serves him right." Mindy says, sniffing indignantly as she continues walking, dragging an astounded Anika behind her.

"Honestly, you're kinda right." Chad agrees, sounding indifferent as he follows them. Everyone continues on and you stumble after Tara, in shock.

"I didn't think she'd beat him up. I thought she'd just give him a talking to." You say in shock, and Tara gently pats your shoulder to comfort you.

"Oh I did that too." Suddenly you hear Sams voice come from behind you. You turn to look at her in surprise, and she looks surprisingly unscathed. Her knuckles are slightly bruised but other than that she looks nearly chipper.

"What are you doing here?" Tara asks in confusion, and Sam dangles her house keys in front of her.

"You forgot your keys this morning and I knew you were gonna be locked out because I work a double tonight." Sam explains as she tosses Tara her keys. You stare up at her, open mouthed.

"Sam, you really didn't need to do that." You say, referring to Frankie's new look. Sam shrugs nonchalantly, avoiding your gaze. "Well, I couldn't let him think he could get away with that." She announces, her hands on her hips.

"Aww, Sam is turning into a big softie." Mindy teases, noticing Sam's appearance. Sam rolled her eyes and shot her a glare.

"Turning into one? Under all those glares and harsh words Sam has always been a teddy bear." Chad joins in the teasing, causing Sam to scowl.

"Guys, knock it off." Sam scolds as she crosses her arms.

"What? They're only being honest." Quinn chuckles, flashing Sam a wink. You could have sworn you noticed a slight blush on Sam's face.

"Whatever, you guys are gonna miss lunch. Bye, you're all losers." Sam says loudly as she turns on her heel and marches away.

"Bye sweetie!" Mindy calls after her, giving an exaggerated wave. The group call their goodbyes after Sam and you simply stand there awestruck.

'Sam really... cares about me? She went out of her way to do that... for me?' You think in shock, unable to wrap your mind around it.

"Don't seem so surprised, you're worth protecting." Tara whispers to you gently, kissing your temple as you turn to face her. You feel like you want to cry as you wrap her in a tight hug. You felt so loved you didn't know what to do with it.

"I'll have to make it up to her." You murmur, pressing your face into Tara's shoulder as she gently rubs your back.

"No you don't, friends have eachothers backs, that's how it works." Tara explains gently, and you pull away from the hug to wipe at your teary eyes with a watery chuckle. You place a kiss on her lips before turning away and heading after your friends.

"Come on, we'll be late." You mumble, unable to stop smiling as you lead Tara by the hand after the group.

You weren't quite sure what to do with all the feelings you were feeling right now. You felt so loved it made you almost guilty. Like you didn't deserve it. At the same time, you basked in the feeling. Being fully accepted into the friend group, and being accepted by Sam meant the world to you. You squeezed Tara's hand, grinning as you joined in the conversation with your friends family.

a/n I definitely didn't project my insecurities onto R at all in this one, what are you guys talking about? 😜

[venomous-ragno]

I've posted these before but Tumblr's tag system is buggy so it's not showing up for ppl, which is a shame cause if this dynamic rots my brain y'all have to suffer with me

Ghost x reader x Soap headcannons

I take requests btw;)

Tags: Ghost x reader x Soap, sfw, gn!reader, fluff

Warnings: None

Gif by @collinnmckinley

• Brothers in arms, these two have developed a bond that goes deeper than that of just any comrades. They work like a machine, gears oiled and intertwined, always moving forward and further into unknown territory.

• Ghost and Soap aren't romantically involved, but they don't mind it if it's the other. Both know and respect the other's boundaries; Gaz once called them psychics for understanding each other without so much as words exchanged.

• Their lives are anything but conventional so why shouldn't their relationship be too? It's a strange idea, sure. Much to your surprise though neither seemed taken aback or even shocked at the suggestion - not in the slightest, for they agree on more things than they disagree on.

• If you ever go on a mission with them and the team gets split up, both Ghost and Soap would find solace in knowing you're with the other, that you're well protected even in the face of death.

• Ghost and Soap are two different types of love; Ghost is more of a calm, quiet lover. No big words or pda but rather small acts of service and quality time. Ghost remembers all your quirks, all your likes and dislikes by heart. He prides himself in knowing you better than anyone else, reads you like an open book, and slowly... Opens up in and about himself, too.

• Soap is loud, if not a bit boastful. He doesn't mind calling you sweet nicknames, throwing a flirty line or two over comms. His love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch, and he isn't shy about giving nor receiving. He's quite sensitive to personal space and highly receptive of your emotional state.

• You know that Ghost has a hard time conveying his thoughts and feelings. Hell, he can't even decipher them himself most of he time. Comes with the life he agreed on living, doesn't make it any more frustrating when he refuses to elaborate on decisions he's made.

• Soap understands you both. He's had his fair share of troubles with the stoic Lt, and thus acts as a mediator. He jokingly calls himself the "peacekeeper of the 141", taking the deadly stares from both of you with stride.

• Ghost and Soap often share late night talks. It's an intimate moment between these two on an emotional level: Let the stars be witness to their hopes and dreams, their frustrations and fears, let their heart get lighter until the sun shines on them and reminds them of the hardships daylight brings.

• It's nights like those where Soap nudges Ghost in the right direction when it comes to you. Gentle but stern pushes towards an apology, in whichever form it may come in, Ghost's words carry nothing but candour. Be patient and he'll do his best to learn.

• "Live as if you're dead", they say, but how can one not feel alive when you love pulses hot through their veins? They should know better. They should know better than to let themselves fall for you like so and yet they're utterly powerless, for no knife may cut that damned red string.

Bonus:

Price raises a brow at whatever you three got going on, but chooses to remain ignorant as long as it doesn't affect work. If anything, he finds amusement in it; how the three of you bicker back and forth, how your dynamic confuses everyone not sharp enough to catch on. Besides, he's won quite a few bucks over drunken bets with Gaz - and he gets to see Simon more often too, rather than Ghost. A bonus if anything.

[cantwritebutdoit-lol]

Kaeya //Don't understand//

"I trusted you" "I still don't understand why you did" by @muses-of-the-mind - betrayal prompts

genre: fluff, hurt to comfort (kaeya x gn!reader)

words: 704

cw: blood, mentions of fainting and throwing up (not in datails)

!!! : I used a not-mine prompt to write the story, even though the story itself is completely mine; I changed the prompt in a present tense. English is not my first language, for eventual mistakes you can freely contact me and give me advices.

-

The night was cold, the sky outside clear.

In your heart everything was confused, stormed.

Blood was running down on his hand, skin stretched, ripped, glass everywhere, mirror broke in pieces, scattered on the white floor, which began to be painted in scarlet drops.

His eye wes lost somewhere else, far from the room, his mind far gone, the other still covered; your look was firmly on him, like you wanted to make sure Kaeya wasn't going to move. Or wasn't going away, at least.

"Kaeya, I trust you."

"I still don't understand why you do that."

His voice was shaking, fear and anger weren't discernible from each other. He never meant to hurt anyone, not you. And he did not, at least not in the way he had thought.

Blood was running down on his hand and it didn't seem near to stop, while a single teardrop fell from your eyes.

And it hurted him more than every single piece of glass.

"Come on, you know I could never be afraid of you." You scolded him. Even then, with Kaeya's angry eye and shaking body in front of you, you couldn't be afraid, nor intimidated.

Kaeya was scared, no, he was terrified. He just wanted you to go away, never look at him again, nor talk to him, neither thinking of him.

He was disgusted by himself. His hands stained with blood, his body still full of rage, his head clouded, only desiring to scream. Scream.

"You're only hurting yourself."

His eye snapped to you, looking right at yours.

"Don't you dare lie to me," he hissed angrily, "You're crying."

Your heart skipped a beat. One hand started raising slowly, fearful of what you could have found.

Water, tears.

"I- I didn't mean to." A whisper from your lips.

"You should go." Cold words from him.

The cold outside seemed to fall on the room.

"I don't want to-" You wept. Head spinning. You couldn't believe that. You weren't afraid of him. You could have sworn that. No, it was impossible. Short, rapid breath. Mind clouded, spinning. No, it couldn't be.

A firm grip on your arms made you snap out of your own thoughts.

"Fuck, don't faint please." Kaeya's worried look on you, finding your eyes to make sure you were fine.

Shaken body held by a shaken body, who was keeping who from falling apart wasn't known.

Your hands were gripped on his shirt, trying to ground your mind. You could feel his heart beating, his breath on you, his warmth. He was there.

"I'm here." Kaeya breathed out "I'm right here, damn, focus on me."

His frightened voice and his presence were the only things you could focus on. Kaeya was there.

On the other hand he was sinking in your perfume, your skin, you. Again and again.

He didn't want to let you go.

Then he saw it. The blood from his hand ran down your arm, onto you.

Kaeya clenched his jaw, gosh, he was nearly throwing up. Blood on your perfect skin was the last thing he ever wanted to see.

"I'm sorry."

The words echoed in the room. Your voices mixed together.

A slight chuckle left your mouth, while slowly softened the grip on him.

"You shouldn't have said that." Kaeya noted firmly and you looked at him confused.

"You neither, if that so."

He tried to look away, but your hand gently posed on his face, making him stop, not running away.

"Don't hide. You have nothing to apologize for" You muttered "Even if, you're not allowed. We made a deal, right?"

A soft smile spread from your lips to your eyes, while cupping his face with both hands. His were now leaning on your hips.

He sighted. "I should've known better before making that deal, shouldn't I?"

A limpid laugh from you filled the room.

"You're an idiot Kaeya, come here." You beamed, swinging your arms across his shoulders.

Your head was right on his chest, he could smell your shampoo, your body pressed onto him. Your warmth, your breath, you. Again and again.

He didn't want to let you go.

"You're stupid to even think I'll ever leave you, trust me."

"I do".

[not-so-allegiant-general]

Kylux, aftermath of torture

Part 2/2 | Part 1/2

"How is my Grand Marshall?"

"How is my Grand Marshall?" Hux mimicked him. "How is my dear Grand Marshall? How are you dear?" Ren cleared his throat realizing that Hux was quoting him " And famous 'Hux. You should be in my bed' on the bridge."

"It was slip of the tongue and i apologized. On the bridge."

" 'I mean in your bed' it's not an apology. It's merely a correction. Do you have anything to tell me Supreme Leader ?"

"And... and if i do?"

"I want to hear it. Now. Or get out. "Kylo sat down next to him. He looked awfully guilty.

"I..."

"Look at me when you are talking. I am not on the wall."

"Kriff why do you have to make everything harder than it is?" Hux smiled at that.

"Annoying, isn't it? Go on." Kylo sighed.

"I need you."

"I know. That's all?"

"I... was worried. About you."

"Yes. I realized, Ren."

"I.. care."

"You made it quite clear."

"Kriff i fucking hate you."

"Please."

Please.

" When they took you i thought i am going to either die or kill everyone around..."

Hux suddenly looked tired. Sad.

" Yes i feared you may say that. Don't... get me wrong Ren. You are... there is nothing wrong with you. I mean there is but you helped me. I appreciate that. I am just... not the right person to... love or whatever you are impling."

Kylo laughed.

"Really? You are talking to me Hux."

"You don't understand" You don't know what i have done to get this

"Explain then."

" I never had anyone" and you will never know.

"So am I."

"I never... " Never.

"Me neither."

"I even don't know if i want to ever..." It was a mistake. The price was to high.

"Its fine i don't care." Hux was looking at him confused "Look. If it was about bedding someone i would ask one of the knights. "

"Then... what is it about ?"

"Having someone on my side. Somebody close. That i can relay on, believe in his words. Spend time. Sleep by if its fine with you. Just sleep nothing more. I am tired of waiting when you will stab me in the back. We should work together. As equals"

Not if. When.

"We will never be equal. There is huge gap between us and there always will be. Ren. How can’t you see that?"

"I hoped ..."

"Hope is not a thing i can relay on. I am sorry Supreme Leader. I have work to do." He dismissed him. Kylo was looking at him in shock he turned around and exited slowly. He dismissed him. Just like that. After Kylo told him about... love? Feelings?. What kind of person dose that? He sighed. Hux does. He was actively avoiding him for two weeks after that. He didn't know it was mistake. Horrible mistake. Hux was frustrated. Still, deeply wounded, recovering from weeks with Resistance and Kylo ignoring him was not helpful. At all. He realized that on Supreme Council meeting. Hux was not looking at him. Even when he was talking he kept his eyes somewhere behind him.

Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.

"Look at me!" He said louder than he wanted to. Hux jumped and Kylo immediately felt need to apologize. Grand Marshall looked at him finally. With disdain. But somewhere behind that, there was fear. Kylo pressed on his mind with force and felt pain and heard scream. "Everybody out except Grand Marshall. " he said quietly. They obeyed without a word. Hux stayed. He was silent. They sat in silence for few long minutes.

"How are you ?" Kylo said.

"Not good." Hux answered.

And then silence.

"I... i am sorry. I shouldn't ignore you like that. I was just... "

"No need to be sorry. I understand. You expected something else. " And I expected you to be wiser. And i expected myself to be more confident.

"it didn't gave me right to ignore you. You were honest i should... at least appreciate that"

And silence again. Hux sighed.

"I... " Should tell you.

"And you were right. There is a gap between us. We are different. But it doesn't mean that we can't be equal. You will never have force and i will never be like you. I can fly things. You can build them. I can manipulate people using force, you don't need force even for that. If you can't relay on hope, relay on the fact that i am everything that you are not. And that you are everything that i never will be. Hux I.... "

Oh Ren.

"Come to my quarters after my shift." Hux blurted out and left the room leaving Kylo alone. Just like that.

****

"You have cold nose"

"Don't whine Ren. "

"You know? For someone who doesn't want anything close to sex you are quite cuddly." Hux glared at him.

"Careful Ren. It's your test night. Do anything wrong and It will never happen again. I can assure you. "

"Easy. I know the rules you were very precise." Hux nuzzled into his neck.

"I killed Pryde"

"It helped?"

"What do you think?"

Ren sighed toying with his hair. He observed like Hux visibly relaxed. That was so surreal. So, so surreal. They were lying like that in silence and Kylo felt that Hux can't just drift off. "What have they done?" He asked.

He felt as Hux clenched his fingers on him. His lips trembled for a moment. Then he shrugged.

"It's... nothing i want to talk about. I am sure you went through my medical records so. "

"I did."

"That is an outrageous violation of my privacy Ren." He said but there was no anger.

"I can stand it Hux. Just tell me"

He put his head on Kylo's shoulder. He was silent for very long time. But Kylo knew there was storm in his mind. And then he started talking.

And talking. And talking. And between this festival of macabre, pain and humiliation. Between tears, broken bones and uttered words Kylo found himself holding him tightly. Kylo found himself crying. Promising that they will all die in pain. Kylo found himself saying "You are safe".

And if only he paid more attention. He would see Hux smiling as he leaned into his arms. He would see not broken mind but mind so corrupted with darkness, so submerged in fear that was able to scheme its own destruction. Just for that short, quiet words" You are safe".

It seems that it only takes few weeks of torture to get him what he wanted. Rank, Pryde's head, Kylo Ren... and slowly but surely whole Galaxy. Now that he has a weapon more powerful than Starkiller.

Love. And it was painful to get it. But everything has a price to pay. Let's hope it wasn't too high.

[theurgic-necromancer]

"You still look like death warmed up."

You look to the doorway and see Jaheira standing there, arms folded over her chest and leaning against the frame. Her expression is somewhere between sympathetic and stern, like she can't seem to decide whether to try a gentler approach or not.

You let out a huff of a laugh despite yourself. "I'm not going to lie, I've felt like death pretty much since I woke up."

Jaheira huffs and shakes her head. "That's what you get for sleeping for over a century."

"Funny how no one ever tells you about those particular side effects," you quip.

"Most people who resort to necromancy to avoid death tend to prefer being awake for the whole process," she counters.

"Most people aren't trying to trick a god of death into thinking they're dead."

She snorts. "It seems to have worked out well enough, at least."

You make a noncommittal noise, before flopping back onto the bed. "Hey, Jaheira? How did Imoen die?"

Jaheira sighs. You hear her close the door and walk over to the bed. She carefully takes a seat next to you. Despite how spry she seems for her age she's still about 150 years old, by your reckoning. She's not the same young woman you once knew.

Neither of you are the same as you remember.

"It was on some big celebration day in Baldur's Gate," she says. "She was to give a speech. Probably would have been her usual three sentences, maximum. But… she didn't have a chance to finish it before one of your brothers showed up."

Your eyes widen. "Someone else was still…?"

"From the description, it was that one we met back in Saradush. The one you cast that fear-inducing spell on."

"Viekang," you say. He'd wanted to escape from the besieged city before it fell, but the only way he could was to use his latent teleportation abilities. But he could only teleport in a moment of fear or panic, and Amelyssan—may she rot—had made it so he couldn't feel fear.

You've always wondered if she'd done so in order to ensure he'd be there when Saradush fell. So he could be slaughtered alongside everyone else.

"That was the name," Jaheira says. "Based on the reports, he attacked Imoen. She tried to fend him off. There was a fight…" She sighs, gaze drifting towards the ceiling. "No one knows who won and who lost. All anyone knows is that when the dust cleared… the Slayer was the only thing left standing."

Your blood runs cold. "Wait, what do you mean the Slayer…"

"Bhaal has returned," Jaheira says, bluntly.

You sit up, ignoring the pain that shoots through your still-healing injuries. "You're lying."

"You're the last one standing, Sayran," she says. "His avatar has been popping up here and there for the past decade, and I know you weren't the one responsible for those appearances. You're the last one left."

You shake your head, feeling the blood drain from your face. "That's… That can't be right. Th-There's…" You place your head in your hands as your view begins to swim. "It should have been destroyed. He shouldn't have been able to…" You let out a shaky breath, fighting back tears. "Why did I have to be right?"

"You always were too clever for your own good," Jaheira says, placing a hand on your back.

You laugh despite yourself. "Well, I'm not as clever as I used to be. So maybe that's a blessing in disguise."

"What do you mean?" Jaheira asks, suddenly on guard. "Is it because of the—"

"It's not the tadpole," you say. "When I woke up, I… my head was so fuzzy, and I could barely think straight. Still feels fuzzy, no matter how much I try to rest." You sigh. "I think my little magical coma may have… caused some damage. Damage that may not be… fixable." Jaheira's hand remains on your back. She's silent for a very long moment. When she finally does speak, her tone is remarkably gentle.

"Are you sure you're capable of tackling this business at Moonrise Towers?"

"It's not like I have a choice," you point out. "Just like when I had to track Irenicus across the Underdark. Just like when I had to fight him in Suldanesselar. And when I had to fight him in Bhaal's own fucking domain."

Jaheira sighs. She rubs your back, the most affection she's ever shown anyone other than her husband in all the time you've known her.

"I apologize for dragging you into the middle of things in such a manner," she says. "There is something I wanted your help with, but I had hoped… well, I'd hoped the timing would have been more favorable. I didn't expect you to get kidnapped, nor that I would be stuck out here for as long as I have been."

"That's just the way of things though, isn't it?" you say, lifting your head just enough to look at her. "No matter how simple the task may look on the surface, there's always about a million different complications just waiting to be sprung."

Jaheira laughs. There's a bitter edge to it. "You'd think I'd have figured that out after a century of this, wouldn't you? You're too right, though." She pats your back. "You're here now, and we all just have to make do with the hand we've been dealt."

"Story of my life," you say with a sigh.

"Please try to take it easy, though," Jaheira says. "You do genuinely look ill, and I'd rather you not drop dead so soon after coming back."

"I'll try," you shrug. "But it's not like I can afford to sit still and rest for very long."

Jaheira sighs. "Of course. When this is over, I expect you to actually take some time to rest." She gives a bit of a grin. "And I might have a good idea for where you might be able to stay. It's not another Harper hideout, I assure you."

"Is it in a grove somewhere?"

"No, actually." You raise an eyebrow. "It's in Baldur's Gate. I'll show you once we get there."

"You, holing up in a city?" You grin. "Now I've seen everything."

She waves a hand dismissively. "It will make sense when you see it. For now, though, we have other things to worry about. So let's focus on getting out of here alive first."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

[hummingbird-of-light]

And the characters are...

Scotty and Khan! Yup, a whole month, filled with Khan whumping Scotty (or... me whumping both ot them sometimes xD) I hope you'll have fun~

June of Doom Day 1

1. “You don’t want to do that.” 

| Collapse | Locked Door | Fear |

TW: blood, torn off body parts, torture, swearing

~

"Hello, Mr. Scott. It's a pleasure to see you again."

Montgomery Scott turned around when he heard the voice behind him, only to find a phaser pointed at his face.

A weak smile found its way onto his lips. He should have known that Khan would find him down here, protecting the life support system. Where else would the augment suspect the chief of engineering?

"I cannae say the same about ye, though," the Scotsman retorted.

He held his hands behind his back, ready to press all the buttons on the console.

Khan grinned maliciously as he pressed the phaser against Scott's forehead. His hand was very steady and he seemed to be eager to pull the trigger.

"Remember back then, when we were on the Vengeance's bridge? A little nod from Kirk and you just shot at me. I was very disappointed, you know? I thought that you were different from the rest of this crew."

Scotty swallowed, his fingers searching for a specific button.

"What can I say, laddie? I'm loyal to my crew and captain. And ye planned to betray us right from the start, didn't ye?"

There! The button he had searched for!

"Maybe. But I did it for my family."

Khan's family. The other augments. It was the reason why he had acted the way he had. However, it didn't justify the things he had done.

"And now? Are ye telling me that ye joined the Romulans for yer fellow augments?"

It had been quite a shock to the crew of the Enterprise when they had been hailed by a Romulan ship, near the neutral zone, only to find the familiar face of Khan on the screen. No one had ever expected to see the augment again. Then the ship attacked and the soldiers boarded the Enterprise.

"What can I say? I help them, they help me. And we will start with my revenge on this ship and its crew."

The grin on Khan's face grew wider as he played with the trigger.

"You shot me, Mr. Scott... guess I have to return the favor. Only my phaser is set to 'kill'."

But this time Scotty was the one who smiled.

"Ye don't want to do that."

The Scotsman almost laughed at the surprised look on Khan's face, but the augment quickly regained his confidence.

"Really now? It would be my greatest pleasure to kill you and then deactivate this ship's life support. So why shouldn't I?"

That was Scott's cue. He pressed the button!

"Because then ye'll die too."

Khan looked over his shoulder to see the door closing. Scotty had locked them in the room!

"Open the door."

When the augment looked at the engineer again, there was pure anger in his eyes. Yet somehow Scott had the strange feeling that Khan was more angry at himself for being stupid enough to not notice about the Scotsman's plans sooner.

"No way, ye bloody bastard!"

Khan had no options. The door was locked and the Romulans could neither break nor beam him out of the room.

"Of course ye could still kill me, kill us all, but ye'd die with us. And I honestly doubt that yer Romulan friends will stick to the deal then. No one will save yer family."

"Open the door," Khan snarled once again, slower, with more emphasis.

But Scott stayed the stubborn Scotsman that he was.

"No."

No one would open the door. Kirk knew that the room would only be locked in an emergency situation. So did Spock and the others. Well... the attack itself was enough of an emergency, wasn't it?

Forcefully, Khan shoved the Scotsman aside to take a look at the console. His eyes scanned every single detail.

"Tell me the code."

Scotty just smiled, knowing fully well that he was the one in control now. He knew that Khan wouldn't kill him. Or anyone else as a matter of fact. His life was too important to him.

"Not gonna happen, laddie. It's over."

The chief engineer just had to wait until the Romulan intruders had been dealt with. Then security could take care of Khan.

"You have a death wish, don't you?"

Khan used his free hand to grab the Scotsman by his collar and slammed him against the nearest wall.

When his back hit the metal, all air was forced out of Scotty's lungs and he gasped.

Damn! That hurt!

"The code, Mr. Scott."

The hand moved from the engineer's collar to his throat and Khan started to squeeze.

"Ye will nae kill me," Scotty managed to croak, but Khan just leaned closer and whispered into his ear.

"Trust me, there are worse things than death. I can hurt you in ways, you can't even imagine."

The grin was back on the augment's face when their eyes met again. The look sent a shiver down Scotty's spine. He knew that Khan meant his threat and would stay true to his words.

"I'll have my fun with you and once you tell me that code, because you can't stand the agonizing pain anymore, I'll still shoot you. So why not skip the torture and get straight to dying?"

Khan raised the phaser and stroked it across the side of Scott's face.

"That's a nice offer, but... I think I'll pass."

Out of nowhere, Scotty's hand shot up and grabbed the phaser. He remembered everything that he had learned about fighting, back at the academy, and managed to disarm his opponent.

Just when he was about to set it to 'stun' and shoot at Khan, he was tackled to the floor. The phaser slipped out of reach.

"Big mistake, Mr. Scott. Big mistake."

Khan managed to sit down on top of the Scotsman's stomach, pinning him to the ground.

"Last chance. Tell me the code and I'll make it quick."

Scotty tried to sit up, but failed horribly. He didn't stand a chance against a superhuman.

But he would never tell Khan what he wanted to hear. He had to protect his crew!

So, instead of answering, he simply spit Khan in the face.

"Wrong answer."

With that the augment grabbed Scotty's left hand and his pinky.

"Tell."

Scott screamed out in pain when he felt Khan starting to pull at his finger. He heard the bone crack and felt the skin rip apart. Tendon by tendon was cut slowly.

"Me."

Ring finger.

"The."

Middle finger.

"Code."

Index finger.

"Mr. Scott."

By the time the thumb was torn off, Scotty was sobbing heavily, voice hoarse from the screaming.

It hurt so much!

The engineer looked at his hand and all the blood made his stomach twist and turn.

Any moment now he'd lose consciousness.

Khan grabbed the Scotsman's right hand and was about to start the same procedure, but he didn't get that far for suddenly the door opened and various people rushed into the room.

"Let him go!"

"Get your hands off him!"

Kirk. The captain was there, Spock and  Chekov at his side. They all had phasers pointed at Khan.

Scotty managed a grin.

"Told ye, it's over."

It was the last thing he got out, before his mind shut down. 

[cookiesbooksstuff]

"I trusted you" "I still don't understand why you did" by @muses-of-the-mind - betrayal prompts

!disclaimer!: I used a non-mine prompt to write the story, even though the story itself is completely mine; I changed the prompt in a present tense. English is not my first language, for eventual mistakes you can freely contact me and give me advices.

cw: blood, mentions of fainting and throwing up (not in datails)

-

The night was cold, the sky outside clear.

In her heart everything was confused, stormed.

Blood was running down on his hand, skin stretched, ripped, glass everywhere, mirror broke in pieces, scattered on the white floor, which began to be painted in scarlet drops.

His eyes were lost somewhere else, far from the room, his mind far gone; her look was firmly on him, like she wanted to make sure he wasn't going to move. Or wasn't going away, at least.

"Hey, I trust you"

"I still don't understand why you do"

His voice was shaking, fear and anger weren't discernible from each other. He never meant to hurt anyone, not her. And he did not, at least not in the way he had thought. 

Blood was running down on his hand and it didn't seem near to stop, while a single teardrop fell from her eyes.

And it hurted him more than every single piece of glass.

"Come on, you know I could never be afraid of you" She scolded him. Even then, with his angry eyes and shaking body in front of her, she couldn't be afraid, nor intimidated.

He was scared, no, he was terrified. He just wanted her to go away, never look at him again, nor talk to him, neither thinking of him.

He was disgusted by himself. His hands stained with blood, his body still full of rage, his head clouded, only desiring to scream. Scream.

"You're only hurting yourself"

His eyes snapped to her, looking right at hers.

"Don't you dare lie to me" he hissed angrily, "You're crying"

Her heart skipped a beat. One hand started raising slowly, fearful of what she could have found.

Water, tears.

"I- I didn't mean to" A whisper from her lips.

"You should go" Cold words from him.

The cold outside seemed to fall on the room.

"I don't want to-" She wept. Head spinning. She couldn't believe that. She wasn't afraid of him. She could have sworn that. No, it was impossible. Short, rapid breath. Mind clouded, spinning. No, it couldn't be.

A firm grip on her arms made her snap out of her own thoughts.

"Fuck, don't faint please" His worried look on her, finding her eyes to make sure she was fine.

Shaken body held by a shaken body, who was keeping who from falling apart wasn't known.

Her hands were gripped on his shirt, trying to ground her mind. She could feel his heart beating, his breath on her, his warmth. He was there.

"I'm here" He breathed out "I'm right here, damn, focus on me"

His frightened voice and his presence were the only things she could focus on. He was there.

On the other hand he was sinking in her perfume, her skin, her. Again and again.

He didn't want to let her go.

Then he saw it. The blood from his hand ran down her arm, onto her.

He clenched his jaw, gosh, he was nearly throwing up. Blood on her perfect skin was the last thing he ever wanted to see.

"I'm sorry"

The words echoed in the room. Their voices mixed together.

A slight chuckle left her mouth, while slowly softened the grip on him.

"You shouldn't have said that" He noted firmly and she looked at him confused.

"You neither, if that so"

He tried to look away, but her hand gently posed on his face, making him stop, not running away.

"Don't hide. You have nothing to apologize for" She muttered "Even if, you're not allowed. We made a deal, right?"

A soft smile spread from her lips to her eyes, while cupping his face with both hands. His were now leaning on her hips.

He sighted. "I should've known better before making that deal, shouldn't I?"

A limpid laugh from her filled the room.

"You're an idiot, come here" She beamed, swinging her arms across his shoulders.

Her head was right on his chest, he could smell her shampoo, her body pressed onto him. Her warmth, her breath, her. Again and again.

He didn't want to let her go.

"You're stupid to even think I'll ever leave you, trust me"

"I do".

[cybrpwup]

## Prompt list

A) Romance dialogue

"You’re so red all of a sudden. Did I say something wrong?"

"I don’t let anyone touch my hair. So... feel blessed, I guess" “Oh, I do!”

"Sorry I'm always so loud." "No, It's alright. I don't mind."

"I've never see you go to a party before" "Well, you've personally invited me, so it would be rude not to go."

"I thought you didn't like this show?" "Yeah, but you like watching it."

"I can always here you from a mile away, but when we're talking, you're always quiet." (afraid that means they don't like them)

"I've never seen you not happy" "Maybe I've always been in good company when you've seen me."

"I've never thought I could fall in love with someone like you" "Because I'm a man?" "No, because I never liked your dog."

"It's so cold. I think you'll have to warm me up" "I told you to bring a jacket."

"I dreamt of you" "Sounds hot." "It was a nightmare."

"You really are just bad ideas, wrapped inside a pretty body."

“The world needs more people like you” "Nah I like being unique"

“You're a mystery to me.” "One that you would like to explore, right?"

"You're very lucky I have questionable taste"

"Are you trying to flirt with me?" "Yeah, is it working?"

“I think destiny wants us to be together, and you should never argue with destiny.”

"have you ever broken a bone?" "One of mine or someone else's?"

"I was always flirting with you" "What? When did that ever happen?" "I mean, I looked at you... and you sometimes looked back."

"Please accept this gift as a token of my love." "That's a knife..." "that has blood on it."

"Is that my hoodie?"

"There are rumors about us." "I know. I spread them."

"Are you acting out of curiosity or fear?" "With you I'm more curious than fearful."

"I would very much like to kiss you right now" "please"

"I'm not sure how to" "Just follow my lead

"Is it okay if I kiss you?" "I would like that very much."

"I knew I would love kissing you, but this was..." "Even better than the dream?" "Yes."

"what do you need my hand for?" "Nothing, I just want to hold it."

"This would probably be the perfect time to kiss." "And we probably shouldn't waste it."

"I would like to show you how good I feel when I'm with you."

"I've never done this before. I'm probably not gonna be great at it." "Neither have I, but we could figure it out together."

B) Break up/angst dialogue

"I see that you moved on."

"Do not touch me!"

"So, this is it, I guess?"

"I thought I could trust you."

"You were my family."

"This is not something that can be fixed by simply wishing it away."

"I had to see this for myself. To know it was true.""

"Are you sure you wanna go there?"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"We tried, but it just didn't work out."

"So, this is all I was to you?"

"Don't say this right now, when you couldn't say it before."

"There needs to be two people willing to fix this."

"Was any of this real?"

"You deserved better, but so did I."

"There's nothing else to say, I guess."

"I'm really not in the mood." "You never are."

"Can you please stop clinging to me so much?"

"I waited all night for you. I thought you would at least call to say you were being late." "I must have forgotten."

"Do you have to watch this while we're supposed to be on a date?"

"I bought a new dress for our date? Do you like it?" "It's alright."

"Can I get a kiss?" "Don't you see I'm busy."

"You never hold my hand in public anymore, is there something I should know about?"

"I tried to make this work, but you never did anything to make it better. And I'm tired of being the only one fighting for us."

[kiridarling]

"𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐀𝐘𝐒."

izuku midoriya | friends older brother!izuku + college student!reader + f!reader + squirting + size kink + more! minors dni! does this count? as dark content?

— 2.4k words

"It's simple: I'll stuff you full with two fingers, but they only do what simon says. Understand?"

“[Y/N?]”

“Uh, hey Izuku!” You smile, grip tightening around the strap to your bag. Izuku fills the doorway, broad shoulders kissing both sides of the frame, and you can’t help but feel minuscule in comparison. “Kota around?”

Izuku shakes his head, peering over his shoulder for a second before returning his attention to you with a click of his tongue. "Uh, no I think he's out with Eri. They should be back soon though...it's been a few hours."

"Shit," you curse under your breath. Your friend's older brother smiles in apology, biceps straining under his white tee.

"You need something?"

"Yeah," you nod, forcing your eyes back onto his, instead of the broad chest presented at eye-level. "Just my precalc book."

Izuku waits a second, thinking, before his palm claps against the doorframe and he's walking deeper into the house. "Come on in, then! I'm sure he won't mind."

You step into the house after him, and it's...weird. Weird being with your Kota's older brother without Kota there, because despite the thousands of times you've been in your best friend's house and as well as you know the greenette, you and Izuku have never been alone.

"Find it?"

You've been rummaging through Kota's room for a solid ten minutes and somehow still empty-handed, moving slowly in fear you'll see something you can't unsee. And hey, with Kota and Eri dating, anything's possible.

"No," you sigh, ready to give up rather than find a strap-on. "It's fine. I can just come to get it tomorrow or something."

"How soon do you need it?" The greenette asks, his forearms leaning against his younger brother's dresser. You take a seat on Kota's comforter instead, silently hoping you'll find your book by accidentally breaking your tailbone against the damn thing; you're a little disappointed when all your ass comes in contact with is a plush mattress.

"Like, tonight," you grieve, knowing that tomorrow morning, your math grade will suffer severely. "'S fine though. There's always another test."

Izuku snorts at that, crossing the room to take a seat next to you. The bed whines under his weight but doesn't collapse, and you feel a little bad to say you're surprised. Voice full of reminiscence, he sighs, "Ah, the college days."

You giggle, "You act like they're lightyears behind you."

"They might as well be," the greenette shrugs, before reaching behind your waist to steal a pillow. "Couldn't tell you a thing I learned."

You shrug trying to remember the last time you’ve felt prepared for a test, “Neither can I.”

Izuku chuckles and nods, though you’re convinced it’s because he has nothing to say. An awkward silence takes possession of the room by the neck, and you shift awkwardly, unsure of what to say that could give you an excuse to leave, or at least redirect his strange yet heavy gaze. As Izuku licks his lips, you notice how close you two actually are, as he's big to the point where your shoulders almost brush, but not quite.

"How um, hows your boyfriend?"

You scoff at that, but you suppose it's been a while since you and the greenette have talked one on one—and the last time you had, you weren't single.

"Oh uh, he's fine, I guess," you brush it off with a shrug and a wave, cringing at the thought of how that ended. "I don't know. We broke up a while ago, so."

"Oh sorry!" Izuku flushes and throws a hand over his mouth, and you giggle.

"You're fine. He was an asshole anyway," you chuck a laugh, but it's not really that funny. Frankly, he's left too many emotional scars to count, along with the ones healing from past exes. "I...don't have a good reputation when it comes to picking boyfriends."

“So, I’ve heard—no offense,” he says sheepishly, though you don't blame him. You've definitely had a few surprise visits caused by a nasty break-up or two, knowing this is the place you'll probably find both of your best friends hiding out. When Izuku speaks again, it’s borderline awkward as his eyes dart around the room, cheeks puffed and lips pursed in apprehension. “Found...anyone new?”

You frown, “Anyone new.”

“Yeah!” Izuku exclaims, and it’s almost encouraging. “Like a new boyfriend.”

“Oh,” you laugh, shaking your head. “Um, no. Like I said, I don’t have much luck with that type of stuff.”

Izuku snorts, rolling his eyes before he’s adjusting himself to lay on the pillow, half of his body upright. “I bet you do. You might not realize it, but you do.”

Now it’s your turn to snort and roll your eyes, leaning back on your hands with a huff. "You're just being nice, Izuku."

"No, seriously!" He props himself higher so you can see he really is serious, evergreen eyes locked and deadset, "Like—okay, and this might be a TMI or something, but how do they, y'know, and then be dicks, y'know?"

"They don't."

"They don't...what?"

"They don't...make me cum," you heave with great depression, despite the seemingly surface-level complaint. With wrists tightening around your ankles, you hate uncomfortably in the silence, and watch Izuku's mouth open and close, before it opens and closes again.

"Like...never?"

"No." You give him a weird look.

"But what about your last boyfriend? I thought he—"

"I don't know what you're looking for, Izuku," you chuckle, shaking your head. The greenette seems more pained than he is shocked, eyes wide with a big fat pout in place of a neutral face. "It's not like I haven't had an orgasm before. Just...not with someone else."

"That's not the same!" Izuku defends, slowly becoming more animated than you've ever seen him. "It's like...more passionate with another person, you know? And that makes everything a whole lot hotter."

"Thanks," you huff, mood souring more than it already has. Izuku's mouth stills once he realizes what he's essentially bragging, guilt clouding his face. As you exhale out of your nose, you can't escape feeling bad for snapping. "Look. I'm perfectly fine with being the only person to be able to make myself cum. It's not that deep."

"You sound like you expect no one to be able to," Izuku snorts with a raised eyebrow, shoulders bumping against yours. "You've just...had bad boyfriend luck. That doesn't mean no one's capable of doing it."

"Well," you click your tongue bitterly, because you've heard all of this before, and you're utterly tired of hearing it. "They've been able to make all their exes orgasm. And it's not like it even matters, relationships aren't abou—"

"I could do it."

"I—" you blink, shaking your head at the pure audacity of his request? Suggestion? Comment? Whatever the fuck. "Excuse me?"

"I—wait, listen," Izuku rushes like you're getting ready to book it the fuck out of there, sitting upright so his body is turned to yours. "You're...it's...I've been told I'm good with my fingers, right?"

And what a way to start a story.

"Izuku, in the nicest way, every guy is like this," you scoff, "He thinks he's all that just because a chick or two said you made her feel really good. I don't need to fake another orgasm."

"You won't have to," Izuku purrs cockily, leaning forwards on his hands and making you wonder where all of this is coming from. "Let's play a game of simon says, yeah?"

"Simon—" your chest collapses with a giggle of pure disbelief, "I'm not that much younger than you, you know."

"I wouldn't be offering if you were," the greenette reasons, eyes growing dark slowly, if any. "Yes or no?"

"What's the catch?" You bargain and Izuku huffs a laugh. You can feel it on your face.

"No catch, Pretty," he hums, and you can feel the vibrations in your fingers. "It's simple: I'll stuff you full with two fingers, but they only do what simon says. Understand?"

You gulp as Izuku lifts a hand—and a very large one, at that—and it's jagged and rough with scars and bulky knuckles. His free hand makes you grab his wrist and you're fingertips barely touch, but you’re pulling his hand south by your own volition.

“Gotta take your pants off first,” he chuckles, and you flush red. That would be helpful, yes.

It doesn't take long before they're off though, flung towards a corner somewhere—and this is when you realize that maybe, you shouldn't do this on Kota's bed.

"Izuku maybe we shoul—"

But before you can say anything else, he's pushing your panties to the side and shoving both fingers into you at once, eyebrows folding as he groans under his breath from the sensation.

"So wet already? Clearly, someone likes this more than they let on."

"I—what the fuck happened to simon says!" You yelp, but his fingers don't move. Izuku just beams like the deceptive asshole he is.

"Game starts now," is all he says, and you're huffing, propping yourself up on your elbows. Izuku's fingers might as well have knocked the wind out of you, lungs struggling to find room to breathe as he curls his fingers to tap directly onto your g-spot with worrying precision.

"Simon says um, move please," you grunt out. Izuku's fingers stay still, and you frown, kicking him in the thigh. "Hey, I sai—"

"You gotta be more specific than that, Pretty,” he says with a grin. You snarl. "Tell me what you want me to do to you."

"I..." you start, but it's fucking embarrassing, and you know Izuku feels you twitch around him when you say: "Can you um, fuck me with your fingers."

He doesn't move.

"Simon says fuck me with your fingers, asshole," you grunt with narrowed eyes, though they widen when he starts to pump his fingers in and out, chuckling when you shiver from the dexterity.

Except, his fingers move painfully slow, and you find yourself gritting your teeth at the speed when he doesn't make an effort to go any faster. You click your tongue—he's really going to make you request everything, isn't he?

"Simon says faster," you growl with a challenge burning in your eyes, and Izuku meets them with equal fire, fingers finally forgetting their torturous pace for a much quicker one. Finally.

"Fuck! Simo—simon says right t-there," your legs spread wider and Izuku makes more room for himself in between. He hums with dark eyes as you whimper and whine his name, writhing in his younger brother's sheets like they belong to him—like you belong to him.

"I wanna touch you all the time, you know," Izuku grunts before cursing at the sight of your wetness around his fingers. "Make you feel good, make you mine. I don't think Kota would approve, though."

"We don—" you wheeze and he places a hand next to your head, towering over you. The angle only gets better, your hands digging into the sheets as Izuku's fingers curl just right. "We don't have to tell him."

Izuku chuckles at that, chest rumbling as he leans in closer to the point where your noses nearly touch. "You dirty fucking girl."

You moan at that, hips bucking into his hand. You're so close and yet you need more, something else to push you over the edge for good. With a whimper behind a bitten lip, you say, "S-Simon says rub my clit."

Izuku's thumb falls upon your clit and you squeal from the amount of initial pressure, thighs jolting from the white-hot waves that pump through your bloodstream as his thumb moves in small, ever-quickening circles that have you gripping for Kota's comforter for dear life.

"Iz—Izuku I'm gonna—g-gonna cum," you pant, and he's ripping his hands away before you can even reach a hint of the edge. You glare at him out of pure and utter betrayal, and he beams.

"Simon didn't say, did he?"

Your mouth flies open before your brain has time to process it all, "Simon says make me cum, p-please, I need to—fuck!"

Izuku's stuffing you full with his fingers in an instant and his thumb returns to its rightful place.

"Yeah? You gonna cum for me, Pretty?" His hands somehow find the energy to speed up to the point where the clap of his palm against your pussy fills the room, slowly being replaced by a lewd squelch as you tighten around him. He chuckles when all you can do is whimper, grappling for his big shoulders as he says, "Oh, yes she is. So fucking close I can feel it."

You let out a broken moan and in a blink you're squirting, body buzzing as you make a big wet mess of Kota's sheets. It doesn't even register how screwed you two are because you're too busy wading waist-deep in the sea of Izuku's eyes, chest heaving in time with his as he gives you a look of pure awe. Not at what you've done, per se, but at you, and that's when you understand it—the passion.

"We should uh, probably clean up," Izuku flushes as he chuckles, cheeks pressing into the crescents of his face, and you find yourself smiling along with him. With a final click, he pulls his fingers out, gesturing to a circular wet spot on his now see-through shirt. "You made quite a mess."

Fuck the passion.

You shove your fists into his chest and Izuku laughs, pushing your hands away with his one dry free hand, wiping the wet one on Kota's sheets.

"Izuku!" You gasp, looking at the new and improved addition to your mess. The greenette shrugs.

"What? We're going to have to clean it anyway," he shrugs before assuming the dry spot to your right and nestling his forearms in the pillow to peck you on the forehead. Then he freezes.

"I uh...am I allowed to do that?"

You roll your eyes, grabbing him by his squirt-soaked shirt to pull him into a kiss. Izuku hums at that, suppressing the urge to smile as his big hands find their way to your waist. He's an annoyingly good kisser

"No, you're not," you say with swollen lips once you pull away. Izuku grins, teeth digging into his bottom lip as his eyes flutter to yours for a moment, before they're staring into your soul again.

"I like you," he boldly states, albeit quietly, like he's talking to your eyes and nothing else. "Like, a lot."

"I—" You start, but you're interrupted by a click of a lock and the sound of the front door opening. Shit.

"Oi! We're home, Izuku!"

[catzula]

tell me where you are, honey

So, I should tell you that that this is not my fiction, its heavily based on real life. If you want to check it out, the mentioned band is a Turkish band called 'Duman'.

Genre and warnings: hey guys? This is pure angst. Just angst. Heavy heavy angst. First of all, major character death (not Suna), tw: mentions of suicide, tw: mentions of death, tw: mentions of depression and anxiety, mentions of alcohol, if there's anything else please tell me!

Suna closes his eyes as he sings the words, trying to forget the uneasy feeling stirring in his chest. 

He feels the sweat drip from the sides of his face, making him glisten under the blueish lights of the bar. 

A chilly wind makes his overheated body shiver. Your face comes before his eyes, and Suna can't help the bitter smile finding its way on his lips. He stopped taking song requests a long time ago, so instead, he leans to the mic and asks how's the night going with a broken but charming smile that makes the crowd excited.

It has been a while. Suna shouldn't feel a lump in his throat, a stinging in his eyes. But he does. He can't help it when a fan calls out to him, asking for the song. 

Reminding the rest of his fans of the song, they start chanting the name of it like it's a prayer, holding a rhythm and hoping for him to sing it.

The song he hasn't sang in a long, long time.

The choking feeling is instant, the heaviness pressuring his chest, making it impossible for him to breathe in the foggy room. Atsumu interjects, telling the fans to cut it out, that they are well aware Suna won't, can't sing it.

Osamu sends a glimpse at the lead singer's direction, not surprised to see his fox-like, almost lifeless-looking eyes already damp. Suna runs a hand through his hair frustratedly, Osamu can't tell what he's thinking, but it appears hard on him. 

Atsumu cocks his head when Suna backs away from the mic. "It's okay," he grits his teeth, he looks like he's in pain. "I think- I think I can sing it this once."

The truth is, Suna missed you this song. Suna missed the song he knew that you loved so much. So he sends a smile to the crowd, picking the mic and biting his lip. It was a song he promised he would never sing again, never again after that last time.

But here he is, hoping you could hear it.

"Darling, you are my honey," Suna sings, and it comes out as choked and strained, but the fans are just surprised he actually did sing it.

It's the first familiar chords that cause him to choke on his breath. Suna's already crying, and if the fans looked closely, they could see the others are, too.

Suna's mind wanders off to the last time he sang the song, the last time he spoke those words. 

It's the first big concert his band was going to do. Suna had been trying to make it happen for months now, and if it went well, it would be a big turn point in their careers. 

"Can't you- can't you come a little earlier today?"

"Rin, where are you?" He heard you say from the other side of the line, making him sigh in annoyance. "I've been texting you all day!" Suna pinched the bridge of his nose. He was already aware you were texting him every five fucking minutes, and that was the very reason he hadn't opened one of them. "I'll be home in a few hours." He grumbled, almost inaudible, but you managed to hear him.

He didn't think much about the few seconds of silence that followed his answer.

Your voice was a mere whisper, and you sounded so sad, almost desperate, and Suna closed his eyes. "We have a fucking concert today. We're doing the last cheks." He sighed when you stay silent. "I'll try to come a little earlier."

"Okay, I love you, Rin." He heard you smile, and it made the weight on his chest feel a little lighter. "Love ya too, honey."

Honey. 

It wasn't a word anyone would expect Suna to speak, but it was what he always called you. He always said it with so much emotion, so much thought and love, and it never failed to make your heart skip a beat.

"You taste like honey." He once told you when you asked him, leaning in with a smile and stealing a kiss.

It was your favorite song.

"My soul is already addicted to your taste," Suna sighs the words. The fans are surprisingly silent, watching their favorite singer shake with wtiholded sobs at the lyrics and the love he lost. It's obvious he's out of it, lost in the memories, holding the mic so tight that his knuckles turn white. 

Your love story was one of the most famous ones at the time, more than Suna himself, and was known by almost everyone.

But lately, you had started to feel like it was dying. 

It wasn't, of course. Suna loved you more than he did anything else, and you loved him more than life itself. It wasn't anything in particular that made you feel that way, too. Many little things combined, the depression you were falling into, the stress he was under, the more than often fights happening lately.

Your relationship wasn't the best lately, that, you admitted. Suna was rarely at home. You only saw him a few minutes each day, and that if you were lucky. Even when he was at home, all you ever did was to fight. Not even about anything worth fighting, but they always caused broken hearts on both sides. 

Despite all the stress building over him, Suna was trying to make it better, too. Making compromises of himself, agreeing with you in fights despite your nonsense arguments, not saying anything about you blowing up on the smallest things. 

"Where are you...love..." He cries. He should've thought more, cared more. Suna was guilty of not thinking why you were acting like this instead of how to stop it. He was busy with the upcoming concerts, their band was about to turn the corner, but that couldn't be an excuse.

Suna had gone home after his band practice that day. The apartment was dark, so silent, it scared him until he opened the lights and found you lying on the couch. 

You weren't sleeping, he thought it was because you wanted to see him, but it was because of the anxious thoughts roaming in your mind. Suna should've seen the trembling of your hands, how cold you felt, how limp and numb you seemed. 

"You stink." Those were the first words you told him, your face souring when you took note of the alcohol and cigarettes clinging on him like a second skin. "Did you drink?" You sounded suspicious.

"No, I already told you we were practicing."

"Then why do you smell like this?" Suna gritted his teeth when yiur voice raised, resembling a shout.

"Because we work at a fucking bar? You know all this, why the fuck are you acting like this?" Suna sneered, it was only for a second he had lost control, but it was enough for your face to contort with hurt. 

You felt guilty when he sighed, seemingly admitting defeat. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? But I'm already stressed enough for the concert, and I can't deal with this shit right now." You watched your boyfriend run his fingers through his hair, his words hurting you more than they should. You were acting nonsensible, you knew, but you couldn't stop.

"This shit? You mean me?" Your voice was now a little higher, making him flinch. "Y/N, for fucks sake! You know I didn't mean that!"

"Tell me where are you, honey,"  There were things you were dealing with, shit he didn't know, you hadn't told. He couldn't have known, he couldn't have known, but he should've. If he had, Suna would never have told you all those that day. He wouldn't have made you cry, sob in the room, dark and by yourself. 

He would've stayed with you, told you he was there, that he loved you, everything would be fine. Honey, he would call you. But he hadn't. Instead, he chose to act selfishly.

"Stop being so fucking pushy." He had told you when you asked where they practiced, who else was there but the Miya's, who was that girl you saw in a picture with him, which was taken months ago, why were they standing so close? It was an argument you had gone over five times already, he had told you it was Atsumu's friend and nothing else, but you kept bringing it up.

"Just give me some space, goddammit! You're suffocating me!" Suna shouted. It was rare to see Suna raise his voice, and it made you freeze in your place. You looked in his slitted eyes, only seeing hate, disgust swimming in those greens. 

You didn't say it, but Suna noticed something was wrong, and you were crying too hard, so hard he feared you were going to pass out. "Hey, hey- I'm sorry." He muttered, acting quickly to wrap his arms around your shaking body like he was the only thing holding you together.

You were wrong, and all Suna was feeling was distress, and he could never look at you with anything but love, but your anxiety told you otherwise.

Do you hate me? The question is on the tip of your tongue. It feels like everyone, everything hates you lately, hell, you yourself do, too. You only need an answer, yes or no, since you can't tell by the foggy depression blurring your thoughts.

Do you? Do you hate me? Please don't hate me, I'm sorry, please don't look at me like that.

(he was)

It felt like hours as you cried between his arms, and Suna pressed an occasional kiss to your hair. Neither of you talked, the heaviness of the fight still lingering in the air, and Suna decided to talk about it after the concert. So you just stood there between each other's arms. Maybe you would've told him you felt broken, and you couldn't take it anymore, you didn't-

It was on the tip of your tongue as he pulled back from you, pressing one last kiss on your hair. "I have to go, honey." He told you, checking the time on his phone. "I'm going to be late for the concert."

Suna didn't notice how you flinched when he pulled back, how tears gathered in your eyes, how you couldn't look him in the eyes. "Okay." He heard you whisper. Watching you smile at him, he smiled back when you leaned in to press a kiss on his lips. 

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pressed your body closer to him, surprising and making him chuckle. It was a kiss that screamed goodbye, but he was too nervous to notice. 

"A good luck kiss, I presume?" He laughed when you pulled back. "I'll see you there, yeah? Let's talk about this after."

"You are with me from now on, honey," Suna should've noticed your lack of response. If he had, maybe he wouldn't be sobbing on the stage now. He feels Atsumu pat his back, Suna's holding on his mic like it's the one thing holding him alive, sobs breaking his words, making him shake.

His fans watch him as he wipes the tears off his face with the back of his hand, the rings adorning his fingers sparkling under the dim light. 

"Tell me where you are, honey,

All the members are crying, not just him. They all loved you, and you were a part of their lives, such a lively, kind person. At the very least, you had managed to tie Suna down.

Its impossible not to cry as people who had heard his cries echoing out of your apartment that night.

You are with me from now on, honey," 

Something was different with Suna's performance that day, and all the others had noticed it. The tired-looking and feeling boy was pumped up that day. He sounded energetic, and Suna gave the best performance he ever had before.

It was all for you, Suna thought. He was singing just for you that day, something he hadn't done in a while. Picking all the songs he ever wrote for you, the ones you liked, just for you, hoping you would feel a little less angry when the concert ended. 

He was smiling the whole time he was singing, but his smile was dropping each time he gazed at the crowd and couldn't find your face, smiling back at him. Were you sitting in the back? Were you that angry with him?

The night proceeded, and the whole band knew it was a success. 

A few songs time left, Suna was frowning since he still couldn't have spotted you. There was no way you hadn't come, but you might have been hiding still. 

Deciding to pull out the big guns, Suna gave the sign to Osamu. They could tell what he had in mind, and Suna smiled with the first hearing of chords. He sang it, sang with a bitter smile, looking at the crowd to finally spot you. 

"You are my soul from now on,

You are my only part that remains alive," 

The concert came to a halt. You weren't in the crowd, and Suna was already in the middle of the song. "Suna- Suna, stop!" Osamu and Atsumu stopped playing, Suna sang the last word alone.

"What the-" He was about to shout at them for making him stop so abruptly, but the terrified look on Osamu's face made him stop. All the blood had left both their faces, and both the twins were shaking, but why were they crying?

It was hard to tell him what happened, and it might've been a mistake, too. 

Wrong time. 

You can't tell a man the love of his life died, she took her own life, right in the middle of the song dedicated just to her.  

What happened after that was a blur. 

Atsumu and Osamu tried to stop Suna from rushing back to the apartment, but he was quick. Suna had no idea how he drove back home, but he was standing in front of the door of your apartment, knocking on the door like a madman, praying you would open it for him. he would see your smiling face, greeting him, or maybe angry with him, crying, screaming- whatever. All he wanted to do was to- to-

He was punching, kicking the door, shouting and crying, crying and crying, and as more seconds that pass, Suna thought he could go crazy. 

It's a miracle when the door opened, and for a split second, Suna thought it was a lie, a cruel joke, a misunderstanding. You were here, you opened the door for him-

It wasn't you. 

You weren't the one who opened the door, but your sister. Her face was damp with tears, and Suna's eyes locked on the figure that stood behind her. 

It was the hardest thing to try and make Suna let go of you, try and calm him, stop him from pulling you back to between his arms, and never let go. 

Osamu arrived right after him. 

He arrived at a scene he would never be able to forget.

His best friend was on the floor, your body limp between his arms. Osamu couldn't hold back his cries when he heard Suna's loud cries, begging and begging for you to wake up, holding your hand, trying to warm you, he was shouting, the pain so raw in his voice, people around him feel tears pricking in their eyes.

"Please, honey, please-" He sobbed brokenly, his body was shaking like a leaf.

He sat there, sobbing in his hands, his agonizing screams audible even from the outside, sending chills down everyone nearby. They think they never in their lives heard pure pain like this in someone's voice.

Osamu and Atsumu were crying with Suna as he finally let you go. He couldn't watch as they took you away, out of the room. 

But they don't hear him crying out your name, instead, it's a sweet pet name they hear. It makes the twins shake with more cries.

honey honey honey

He figured too late, how you were battling with severe depression, how your personal life was a mess, how you needed him to be there for you. He was too late. 

Suna hadn't left the apartment for 15 days straight after that day. He didn't want to speak or see anyone, barely ate and drank. 

He refused to see his family, the twins visiting him.

No one knew what happened in those 15 days, but when he came back out, they could tell by a look he had changed. Not only physically (even though he looked like he was starving and sick), but also mentally.

It was his fault. If he had been more attentive, more at home to see you, ask you if anything was wrong, "honey, are you okay?" maybe it would've been fine. It was his fault.

Even after he left the apartment, even after he started smiling, it was evident Suna was never the same. How could he be? He had lost a part of him, no, he had lost all of him. And all that left was the shell that merely resembled him. 

Suna had tried to sing it more than he could count, but the moment he heard the first chord, he broke down crying. This was the one day he succeeded, and even though it was barely audible, it sounded like agonizing cries instead, he was singing it. 

For you. 

Can you hear me, honey?

honey, honey, honey.

[onlymexsarah]

Promise pt. 5 || Kaz Brekker

Summary: When the life of Kaz is threated by her presence, she had to make a crucial decision that will bring misunderstanding among the two of them. Now that he has his Fire Girl, will he be able to keep her, or Dirtyhand will mess everything up?

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x grisha!Reader

Warning: angst, Kaz being Dirtyhands for ten minutes straigh, spoiler of Six of Crows, my english.

A/N: Thank all of you for the comments, the likes and the shares. I didn't expected that this little idea would have captured your attention, really you made my writing more enjoyable and easy. I'm so sorry if I'm late but I've been sick these days and I couldn't finish the chapter :( there are a lot of things that I want to tell you, see you at the end of the chapter ;)

PT. 1 - PT. 2 - PT. 3 - PT. 4

MAIN MASTERLIST

Few days passed with the girl lying on her bed recovering from the wound that the fight gave her.

When she opened her eyes after have fainted in Kaz's arms, fear had been the first to come to visit her. Fear of being already tied at some bed on a ship, sold at the Shu that would have been more than happy to make experiment on her. She was scared that the temptation must have been too much for Kaz Brekker to have such a value grisha in his hands, but then she noticed she was in her room at the Slat and a rush of tiredness hit her making her sleep again.

The other times she opened her eyes someone among Jesper, Inej and Wylan was always at her side, changing the bandage and bringing her food.

Inej told her that her father, Jan Van Eck, was now aware that she was part of the Dregs, and she was under Kaz Brekker's protection. Everyone was aware she was a grisha, but neither Jesper and Inej seemed to mind her lie, maybe because they had secrets too, she though.

A morning a letter came for Kaz, a letter from her father.

Mister Brekker

we never had the occasion to meet, and you'll agree with me when I say that I wish to keep things like this. Voice is spread that you have my beloved daughter with you. I hope you understand that she is a danger for this city. I've sent her away many years ago with the only interest of protecting Kerch from her, but I see that I could have done things in a better way.

It is as a father that I ask you to bring her to me so that I can repair my mistakes. She is a danger for all of us if not under control, Mister Brekker, and I am sure you saw it yourself last night. She has to face a trial for her crimes and be sent where she can't be a danger for anyone anymore. If she doesn't come back in seven days, I should consider you and your Dregs as her accomplices, planning to attack Ketterdam and all Kerch using her power.

Surely a smart men as yourself doesn't want those kind of problems.

Hope to see my city safe again,

Jan Van Eck.

Inej had brough the letter at her in the afternoon, and in the evening the grisha girl was already planning her escaping from Ketterdam for the third time in her life.

She didn't want to leave Wylan, hell she had promised him they wouldn't split up ever again, but if her plan worked then he would have been able to follow her after few months. If the Van Eck siblings moved together they would have caught too much attention, and they had to do everything in secrets.

Wylan tried to convince her to stay. He was sure that Kaz would have helped her, Wylan was sure that Kaz Brekker would have sealed all Ketterdam to keep her save, and even if as her brother he didn't like her closeness with the Bastard of the Barrel, he couldn't deny that it was useful.

"I'm putting all of you in danger just staying here. If I go away father will have nothing to threat you with." she said putting her clothes in her bags. Seven days, she couldn't give her father the time to close all the harbours in Kerch. If she wanted to go she had to do it as soon as possible.

"Talk to Kaz! Let see what he says, please." begged Wylan grabbing her hands in his to stop her.

She looked in his beautiful blue eyes and saw hope. "You really think Kaz has the power to keep me here?"

Her brother smirked. "I think Kaz would tear apart this city to keep you save. Talk to him, keep your options open."

Dirtyhands would never fight a battle where he couldn't win money, but Y/n was willing to try. That night after dinner she decided she would speak with Kaz and see if he was willing to keep her.

"Let see what the great Kaz Brekker think about it." she sighed putting her arm around Wylan's shoulder and walking downstair where their dinner waited them.

Kaz Brekker sat in his office, in his gloved hands the red handkerchief and Jan Van Eck's letter. Before that morning the death of Van Eck had been one of the many he wanted to deal with for what he had done to his Fire Girl, but now his death had taken a shape, colours and many details that Kaz's was adding one by one.

Brick by brick, Kaz would take all his enemies down, and Y/n was more than welcome to take her revenger with him.

He went downstair at the second floor walking toward Y/n's room. He wanted to check how she was, and speak with her about how she wanted to deal with her father. He didn't know if she wanted his actual death, but he was just fine with torture.

When he reached the door and looked inside his blood froze. All her things were packed in three bags, all her clothes were gone from her wardrobe and none of her objects were around the room. Neither the little portrait of she and baby Wylan that she kept on her bedside table before falling asleep.

She is leaving you.

These words felt like a stab in his chest, like someone had taken the oxigen from his lungs. Would she, leave him? Yes. Y/n would find a better life everywhere out Kerch, it was reasonable that she was already packing. When she wanted to leave? Where she wanted to go?

He knew nothing about it and Kaz Brekker always knew everything. Especially of what happened in his Slat. But this time the girl was leaving him, again, and she hadn't had talked with him about it. She hadn't advised him. Did you really think she was going to live this life just for you? For a man who can't even hold her hands without hyperventilate? A man who can't give her the love she deserve?

The fear he saw in her eyes when she saved his life with her power wasn't because she was feared of his rejection; she feared that he would have send her out of the Dregs, without protection and away from her brother.

He stormed back in his office, anger filled his boody and what else? Disappointment? Sadness? He was angry with himself because he had been a fool again. He had let someone playing with him again, that's what Y/n had been doing. She had been toying with him. She had made sure to have a safe place where live, a job and her brother beside her. Every little nice things she did for him was just to keep him close, to keep Dirtyhands at bay.

Like a fury he threw everything that was on his desk on the floor with his arms. Documents, the handkerchief, the letters, were all on the floor but he couldn't care less. She wanted to leave? Fine. Dirtyhands didn't care.

A known shiver crossed his spine before he heard a knock at his door.

"What?" he didn't look up when the girl entered, too focus on something in the drawers of his desk.

"Wow, and I though to be the one who had a bad day." she joked looking the mess at his feet.

He didn't smile, or smirked. He kept his eyes on something she coudn't see. "What bussiness?"

What bussiness. Those words were the greeting in Ketterdam when two bussiness men met, but the grisha girl though that she and Kaz had passed that step. He must had really a bad day, and it could have been because of the letter...she though sadly.

Who knew what other problems her father had caused around Ketterdam to earn the attention of Kaz, to push him to hand her in his hands.

"My father...I don't want any of you to be in danger because of me." she said carefully walking closer to his desk. A glimp of red captured her eyes but the pain at her waist made her close her eyes for a second.

"I'd say it's too late for it, isn't it?" he asked coldly. She took a step behind, taken back by his coldness toward her. "You seemed to enoy keeping secrets, didn't you? Do you know how easier it would have been knowing about your being grisha months ago?"

That wasn't the boy who had brough her in his arms out from the gala. He wasn't the boy who fought beside her, spied beside her and saved her a couple of time.

"I am sorry, I truly am Kaz. But I know what is the price of being a grisha here...it wouldn't have been easy for me walking with a target on my back. I have done it my whole life."

He refused to look her in the eyes, and it was driving her crazy. Was he really that mad at her that he couldn't bare even the sight of her?

"You decided for yourself, a thing you tend to do often I see." she was sure he had never spoken to her like that, neither in his bad days, and Kaz Brekker had a lot of bad days. "You swore loyalty to the Dregs, to the Crows. If you can't trust us then you shouldn't stay here."

He had said the crucial words, and there was no going back. She wanted to leave, then he would make sure to let her believe that he didn't care. That he didn't care about not finding his hot coffee on his desk again, or that from that day on he wouldn't feel the shivers in his spine anymore. He pretended to not care about not seeing her anymore. She had left him once, he could survive it a second time.

"That's it? That's what you want?" she felt her voice dying in her throat. Was her mistake that big? You knew that once Kaz knew what you were he would have pushed you away like everyone else. 'No one will understand you as the other of your kind', Baghra once told her, but when she met Kaz she believed that her old teacher was wrong. Kaz Brekker had been her safe harbour when no one else would care about her, was she so easily replaceable for him?

"You would have leave anyway at some point, you said it yourself the first time we met at the Club. Today, tomorrow, in five years...I don't see the difference." he shrugged like he didn't care.

He doesn't, her mind reminded her.

"Alright then...I don't want to be of any trouble to you anymore..." she whispered with her hands behind her back. She hated how little she felt, but he was sendind her away. Kaz Brekker, the boy she'd die for. The boy who had let her felt hope again after years, the boy who made her laugh even when he surely didn't mean it. The boy in who she was willing to put the most important years of her long life, that boy was sending her away without looking back.

"Then go." he said fixing his eyes in hers. She could feel the sharpness of his eyes cutting her chest.

"Fine, then I'll just-" she stopped talking when her eyes landed on the red thing she had seen before. A red handkerchief. Her feet moved on their own will. Before she could register what was happening she had the red handkerchief in her hands, her eyes fixed on the three letters on it. W. V. E.

"Y/n don't-" Kaz stood up trying to stop her but it was too late.

"Why do you have my brother's hand-" she was confused, but then her eyes raised to the boy in front of her. His brown eyes, his dark hair and pale skin, and in a second her mind brough her a memory.

The little boy smiled standing before her. He was at the same height of her belly, but his eyes seemed older.

"I have still things to do, and people I need to find. " the last words said with rage.

"Take care of yourself, boy. Don't let the bad days winning your good ones, there is always light at the end of a tunnel; you only have to walk a little more."

And then another.

"What is you name little boy?"

"K-..." he stopped for a long moment thinking about it. He looked the girl beside him and even if he wanted to trust her he just couldn't after what happened. "Jordie..."

"J-Jordie?" she asked, her voice trembling. "I-...You are not him, aren't you?" he stayed silent, looking her like a statue. "You would have told me if you were him...Kaz you are not the little boy I met eight years ago, right?!"

Her voice raised squeezing the handkerchief in her right fit.

She saw him gulped before answering slowly. "Yes, I am."

She took two huge steps back breathing eavily. He had known me all along. "Why you've never said anything? That day when you approached me, you knew who I was and you offered me a...job..."

"Can you keep a secret?" she asked touching his shoulder with her own. The boy, whose name wasn't obviously Jordie, nodded looking her curiously. She smirked bringin her left hand on her right one and rotating them slowly. A flame came out from her right palm, little but still powerful; red and orange like the handkerchief she had given him before.

The boy's eyes shone marveled looking the flame on her palm. "You are a grisha!"

The truth hit her hard. She raised her eyes in his letting him see the betrayal. "You had always knew what I was. That's why you gave me the job...you didn't care that I was new, you didn't care that I was the girl you met when you was a child. You wanted an Inferni to work for you!"

Every words, every attention, every talk they shared were all lies. Nothing of what he said was true, Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason, he didn't need a reason to give a job to a girl new in town, but it was clear that Kaz Brekker always had a reason. She had been only too foolish to not understand everything before.

She thought she was good to keep a secret, but something like her power couldn't pass unnoticed to Kaz Brekker. She had been a fool to believe he didn't know about her power. It was the only reason he kept her in the Dregs since the beginning.

"An inferni would have been very useful, but you have proved to know how to do your job perfectly without your power. Now, if you want to go you are free to do so. Nothing bind you here." he said, his voice cold as death.

You bound me here, she wanted to shout. But it had been Kaz's plan all along. Making her believe she was different, making her believe he saw her.

"Nothing." she repeated before walking away from his office, leaving the boy alone with the loudly silent that filled the room, staring at the handkerchief that she let fall on the ground, the only thing that had always bound them.

***

The next morning Kaz woke up and knew immediately that something was wrong. He took his cane and walked downstairs to the kitchen where he heard people talking out loud.

"I swear Jesper, when I see him I-" Wylan stop talking in the exact moment Kaz stepped in the room. The red haired boy fixed his eyes on him and before he could understand what was happening Wylan was yelling at him with all the rage he felt. "How dare you coming here like nothing happened!?"

Jesper had to put his arms around Wylan's torso to keep him from throwing himself on Kaz. "Last time I checked this was my Slat."

"And you find amusing sending people away, don't you?" Wylan spoke spitting venom from his mouth. "She needed help and you turned your back at her!"

Now Kaz needed few minutes to make his brain, still sleepy, working to connect the dots. It was clear that Wylan was talking about his sister, who seemed to have played the victim with her own brother.

"If you want to know, merchling, she decided her will herself. She came to me to let me know she was leaving." Kaz shrugged walking toward coffee machine. He didn't have the strengh to face an angry boy if he wasn't properly awake.

"As hell she did. She came to ask you what to do and you sent her away." Kaz let his words running in his head for a while, studying them one by one.

He didn't..."When she came in my office she had already decided." he refused to tell them he had seen her bags ready in her room, he refused to let someone know he cared.

"No Kaz, she didn't." This time Inej spoke, he hadn't even noticed she was there. "She wanted to leave to protect you from her father, but Wylan convinced her to slow down and come to you to ask what to do."

No, no, it was not possible. "When she came in your office she hadn't decided yet. You gave her the answer, Kaz." Jesper spoke keeping his hands on Wylan's shoulders, who now was sat on a chair with his face in his hands.

I would have noticed if she was asking me what to do. She had her bags ready...she came to me to tell me...his thoughs were running wild inside his head.

"That's it? That's what you want?"

Kaz tried to put his thoughs together. He tried to find a logic of what had happened the night before.

"You had always knew what I was. That's why you gave me the job...you didn't care that I was new, you didn't care that I was the girl you met when you was a child. You wanted an Inferni to work for you!"

No, no, no. Everything was so wrong again. He though she was going to leave him and he had let her believe that he had used her all this time. He though she was leaving him...that was the only thing he had needed to loose his mind.

"You didn't know..." whispered Inej surprised.

Kaz couldn't trust his voice enough to not break in front of everyone so he just shoke his head slowly looking the Suli girl in the eyes.

"What have you done..."murmured Jesper rubbing his eyes with his hand. "Alright, if you hurry you should arrive before the schooner leaves."

"Fifth harbour?" Kaz asked with raspy voice.

"Yes! Go!" said the Zemeni boy excited. "I love a dramatic romance."

He didn't let him repeated twice, ready to run if he had to he walked toward the door when Wylan's voice stopped him.

"Brekker, bring her back." Please, was the word the boy let unspoken.

He nodded before running toward the harbour. He took just his cloat at the door, leaving his hat behind. He couldn't let her leave again. He had to arrive in time, and if he didn't he would have swim until he'd found himself on the schooner and ask sorry to her for his infinity dullness.

"Alright then...I don't want to be of any trouble to you anymore..."

She wasn't a trouble, he wanted to shout in the air. She had never been a trouble, he was the wrong one. He was the twisted, crooked, problematic who couldn't stop himself from hurt her everytime.

"My father...I don't want any of you to be in danger because of me."

Even when she was the one in danger, she would think about him first. He didn't see it last night, too focused on accusing her of betrayal. Betrayal of what? She hadn't broken any vows she made. She wasn't bind to him, she own him nothing and surely Ketterdam did nothing to earn her protection.

Since the first day she had stayed on her own will, she had stayed beside him even when he pushed everyone away. That's what got under his skin, her perseverence. She kept fighting for him, she kept seeing good in him and the only thing he had been capable of was making her feel used and unwanted.

He saw the harbour and he barely noticed that he hadn't used his cane. It would have just slowed me, he thought already searching his girl with the eyes.

He owed her an explanation, he owed her a lot of apologies, and then she would decide if she wanted to stay. Kaz swore to everyone who was listening that if Y/n chose to stay in Ketterdam with him, he would have made sure to be worth her choice. He would fight everyday to go trought his boundaries for her, with her. He would be the man she deserved.

"The schooner for Os Kervo." Kaz asked urgently to a man. He knew Y/n, she would find a safe home in Ravka at the Little Palace where the grisha were safe and strong.

"The first one left this morning at four bells, the next it's at the berth twenty-four, leaves in half bell." the man answered.

Kaz didn't think twice and ran toward the schooner with his heart in his throat. Please, saints if you exist make sure she hadn't already left.

He felt pathetic. Never in his life he had ever prayed, but he though that if it gave him a chance to see her again that it was worth a try.

He arrived at the schooner, but looking around he didn't see her. She must be already on board, he though and without difficulty he went on the ship.

There wasn't many people, but from what Kaz knew the grisha girl could have been already in her room and there was no way to find her before that schooner left.

He felt a shiver in his spine, telling him that she was close, but he didn't know where to look. Right, left, he looked everywhere. People around him looked him worried.

She can't be gone, he kept reapeting in his head like a mantra.

"Came here to bring me back to my father?" a voice said from above him. "How much did he offer to you? Must be a lot to affront a grisha alone."

His heart missed a beat and when he looked over his head he though he might start to believe in saints.

She was there, perched on one of the boom. Her hood was up hiding her face like she always did when she was out of their zone. She was a wanted grisha now, and he felt a grip on his heart at the though that she was used to that life of a runner.

You are not alone anymore, Fire Girl, he though vividly.

"I thought you had decided to leave..." he said. It didn't sound like an apologize at all...Damn Saints, there were a bilions things he wanted to say her, and yet his throat felt dry when he could talk.

"I did." her voice was sharped as a blade and cold as ice.

He gulped, I deserve this. "I know..." He had a flashback of their first conversation at the Crows Club, and cold shivers ran in his blood. I will not make the same mistake twice. "I should have told you who I was since the beginning."

"Maybe if I knew I didn't have to hide my power you could have had your personal inferni sooner." it was his fault. He had let her believe that he wanted her just for her power, but it wasn't true. Kaz Brekker kept her with the Dregs because he couldn't bare the though of her being hurt or threated.

"Could you get off from that boom? Please..." the last word burned in Kaz's throat like fire. It wasn't easy for him to say out loud his feelings, but he knew it would have been the only thing to make her stay. He owed her the truth.

She scoffed and jumped, landing in front of him with the lightness of a feather. Crossing her arms over her chest she studyed him from under her hood, waiting for him to speak first.

You want me sto stay, you have to say it, her posture told him.

"I saw your bags in your room, I though you wanted to leave me, the Dregs. I would understand if it what you wish, but you have to know that I was angry. Angry because I though you didn't trust me. You had just packed all your things without talking to me first, I though...I though you..." said those words Kaz brekker, a voice said in his mind. "I though you used me as a protection, nothing else. And when you showed up in my office I though you were going to say me you were leaving. No question, no mouners."

She stayed silent for a bit, surely surprised by his words. He couldn't see her whole face from his height, and he needed to use all his self control to not take it and push it down.

"The only reason I decided to leave was because my father knew about you. I knew he would have used you against me if I stayed, and I couldn't put you in danger just because I wanted to be selfish." her voice had softened a bit, but it was still sharp as she was ready for any attack from him. "Wylan convinced me that you would have helped me, that you would have been willing to fight for me. But when I come to you, I find Dirtyhands planning my departure. And what I find out? That you kept me under your roof just because you knew I was a grisha."

"It's not true." he stopped her firmly. "I knew you were a grisha, but never in my head I though about using you for your power."

"Then what other reason to keep the truth about our first meeting from me?"

Now it's the moment. Don't let your shame eat you alive, put yourself together and take your Fire Girl back.

"Because I was ashamed of the man I became. Because if you knew who I was you would have seen that the little boy you met eight years ago doesn't exist anymore. You would have seen that I failed you..." saying finally those words after a year left him lighter.

She gasped softly. It's not true, I can still see that little boy right in front me... "No, I failed you. You were a child Kaz, you had no faults. I should've stayed with you."

She could see the surprise on Kaz's face when she spoke those words. She had time to think that morning, at the little boy she left alone in the streets of Ketterdam. The boy who had kept her secrets all those years and never blackmailed her.

"I don't think something would have changed. I chose my path." he said with his raspy voice. How many nights he had dreamt about that moment? When he would finally speak with her, when the little boy and the Fire Girl would meet again.

"Becasue no one was there for you. Beccause you were alone. But if someone would have taken care of you, if someone would have showed you another way, maybe everything would have been different." maybe you would have been different.

She wasn't disappointed in what Kaz had became, she knew that everything he did it was to survive at the Barrel. She was proud that he had found the strengh to fight and live; Y/n would change nothing of the man she had in front of her.

The captain of the schooner announced that they were ready to leave and Y/n took a deep breath. "You should go..."

"Come with me." his mind, his rational part stopped working. There were nothing to brake his tongue. "Eight years ago you asked me if I wanted you to stay with me, and I said no. Today I'm asking you to stay in Ketterdam, with me, with the Crows. We cant-...I can't loose you. Not again."

Her heart started to beat faster like a roller coaster. Was Kaz Brekker the one who was talking in front of her? The Bastard of the Barrel was asking her to stay with him. You are going to put him in danger, a voice in her mind reminded her.

She looked Ketterdam behind him, as she could see her father's house.

Kaz saw the shift in her face's direction, and immediately understood what was thinking that mind of her. He rose a gloved hand in front of him taking her by surprise.

"If you wish to go to Ravka I will not stop you, but if you give me a chance I'll try everyday to be the man worth to stay by your side. And I promise you..." he took a step forward making her gasp. "I promise you we will take down everyone who threat us and we'll make them know the real meaning of the word suffer."

That's the Dirtyhands I fell for, she though smiling brightly. She took his hand firmly feeling his fingers closing around hers. "Just one condition." He raised an eyebrow to say 'continue please'. "Jan Van Eck is mine, and he's not going to die until I say so."

She knew that Kaz wasn't the only one who had changed in those years, and there were no reasons to hide it. The grisha girl who lived in the shadows and the little boy who was scared would never meet again, both had died when the world had turned its back to them. Both had raised like phoenix and became stronger.

"The deal is the deal, Fire Girl." he smirked walking with her toward the berth. The schooner was already leaving and there was a little void between the berth and the schooner, so Kaz squeezed her hand and they both jumped. When their feet touched the berth he didn't notice he was laughing with her. Her hood was over her forehead and he couldn't hold it anymore, he stood in front of her with the steady hands of a magician and gently lowered it, feeling the hurge to see her smile again. "No secrets anymore."

"No secrets anymore." she replied keeping her eyes in his.

It was their promise to start from the beginning. Their past was a beautiful story to remember, but they would fight for their future side by side, and little did she know that for all the time she hadn't spoken with Kaz Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel. But the boy in front of her, with the light of hope in his dark eyes was the normal, simple Kaz Rietveld.

A/N:OH MY GOODNESS WE ARE HERE! This is the end of the story of our lovely, brave Fire Girl and our little, cute Kaz. I think I can cry... This is the chapter that most I love of the series and I think you can see why! Writing it was so emotional and still so easy, I knew from the first moment how I wanted their story to end and how I wanted to write it. I have many ideas for a future book with those two idiots, but in the mean time...would you like a bonus chapter where we are gonna see how they're managing they're "relationship"? Maybe where he tells her his real name...👀 but now tell me, what was the part that you most liked? Would have you made the same decisions as them? MY CHAT AND REQUESTS ARE OPEN SOO I'm gonna wait you there ;)

p.s. : who recognize the scene from an old tv series for young I took ispiration for the fight and the departure? 👀

[morosemagick]

You, My Everything | Finan x Reader OS

This is a Sequel to This Prompt: You Deserved Better, But So Did I.

Warnings: Blood. Pregnancy

Words: 1688

Tagged:

@magravenwrites @solinarimoon @webreathfandoms @emilyhufflepufftlk @obipoelover @thebohemianpenguin @lalahmaria @axe-does-writing @lauwrite1225

You should’ve told him about the baby.

It was there, on your lips, almost every day you knew for the first month. You weren’t even showing, there was no way he’d find out on his own. All you had to do was say the words, I’m with child, and maybe he would’ve stayed. Maybe he would have loved you. Married you.

Anything would have been better than this.. than being alone.

It hurts to be alone, like this. More than you've ever thought it would. You always thought this was how you ended up anyway. Alone with no one to love you… but then, you met Finan.

What started off as an alehouse romance turned into… well, romance.

He was kind. Kinder than any man you have ever met. Finan was so extraordinarily caring and affectionate. Bringing you flowers, walking you home, the way he would fuck you so hard he once broke your bed-

It was everything.

You thought it was love.

Apparently, not.

The night you broke it off you originally wanted to tell him the truth. You were going to tell him about the child, how you loved him so much and that the idea of having a family with him once made your heart sing, but then he told you he was leaving. It hadn't been the first time he had gone to war since this thing started between you, but the fear of losing him on the battlefield while alone with his child was unbearable.

So you broke it off, thinking it was the best thing and it was far from it.

You don't know what made you think you'd be able to find some sucker that you could trick into marrying you and that you were carrying their child but you tried.

Yet every time you imagined someone else raising this child with you, you realized you were making a terrible mistake.

When you are three months, you start to show. It was small, like you had overeaten, but it was there. On your saddest days, you held your little belly and promised the child growing inside you that you would always love them. That you would never leave them. It makes those bad days a little easier.

Then at four months, you're a little bigger and it's harder to hide. People in Coccham know you're unwed. You feel their eyes judging you as you walk from your job at the alehouse back to your home. It does not matter, though, because you will do everything you can to give this child the world.

As you reach your home, you go to open your door and you realize it's cracked open a touch. It scares you, making you pull out a small dagger that Finan gave you long ago for protection.

Very slowly, you walk inside, calling out to whoever may be there, "I know someone's in here! You need to leave, or I will be forced to hurt you!"

"I doubt you can hurt me anymore than ya have," A familiar Irish accent chuckles and your heart stops, "but you're welcome to try."

"Finan?" You're jaw drops when he walks into your main living space from your bedroom, and you realize he's covered in blood and holding his arm, "What happened to you?"

"Bastard Danes got me good," Finan chuckles as you take a step closer to him, "but you should see the other guy."

"Why are you here?" You ask, stupidly, scared your words will scare him away, "Why come to me?"

Tired eyes scan across the room before making their back to you, and his shoulders raise in a shrug, "I am not sure. This is where my feet have taken me."

You take another step, not sure if you're saying or doing the right things, "After everything I said," you chuckle under your breath, licking your dry lips, "I am still your first stop when you come home."

"Maybe my feet still think this is their home," Finan chuckles softly making you smile.

He's panting by the time you're in arms reach. You're trying really hard to keep it together, but seeing him all beat up like this worries you, "Let me clean you up, at least," you tell him, reaching out to touch his bloody face slowly. The moment he melts into your touch, your eyes start to tear up, "I'll take care of you."

Finan nods, his eyes glancing down until he finally notices your belly, "You're with child?"

When he looks up his face looks more hurt than it did before, "Yes, it's-"

"I should leave... before your husband gets home," He tells you as he attempts to walk past you, but you grab his arm to stop him from going, "Y/N, I shouldn't have come-"

"I am not married," You tell Finan as glances back at you, "Please… stay. I'll tell you everything."

"What is there left to say?" Finan questions you as his eyes become red, "You carry another man's child."

Now it's your turn for your eyes to go red and blurry as you furiously shake your head no, "The child is yours."

Finan looks betrayed as he slips his arm from your hand, "You told me to leave…"

"I did-"

"You said you wanted another!"

"I lied!" You cry out as the tears fall fast, "I lied Finan, I do not want anyone else!" You hold your belly for comfort, because it is all you have to hold, and you tell him the truth, "You are my everything. I may not deserve your love.. but you will always have mine."

He glances away and takes a deep breath as he tries to process everything you've told him, "Why did you tell me not to return if you say you love me?"

"Because I am a coward," You shrug as the tears keep coming, "because for three years this was only sex and then one day I woke up and I realized I loved you, and I was so convinced if I told you.. you would not feel the same," Your eyes close for a moment as you take a deep breath, and open when you say, "I should've told you about the child. I was going to, and then you told me that you were leaving. I was scared and a coward, and I am sorry."

Finan just stares for a moment or two, looking at you, and then away as silent tears run down his bloodied cheeks. It takes him a few moments, to process, and part of you thinks he's definitely going to leave you. When he does finally look forward, he does not look at you, but at your belly, "This is our child?"

His hands reach out to cup your protruding bump as you respond, "It is."

It does not bother you when dirty hands drift from your belly to your waist, closing the gap between you as you melt into each other's arms. He holds you and it feels so good. Completely unbothered by the dirt and blood.

"I betrayed your trust," You whisper as your arms wrap around his neck and you bury your head into his shoulder, "I'm so sorry."

"It is my fault, Y/N," He answers with a soft voice, still not ready to let go "I should have never given up so easily."

"I told you to go…"

"I should have never left," Finan pulls his upper half away so he can look you in the eye, "Not without telling you how much I loved you."

You hear the way he's said loved and knew he means no longer, "Will you take the child from me? Now that you know-"

"No, I would never," He shakes head, seemingly surprised by your response, "Why would I take my child from their mother?"

"Because I am an unwed woman with nothing to her name, carrying your bastard?" You shrug as the tears return and to your surprise, he chuckles.

"I will not take the child," Finan tells you with a smile, lifting one hand to wipe away your tears, "But we will have to do somethin' about you being unwed."

You look confused as he brushes a strand from your face, Finan's hand remaining on your neck once he's done, "I don't understand."

"I should have asked you this three years ago," Finan smiled softly as his next words fell out like a whisper, "Marry me, Y/N."

"You want me to- are you sure?" You question him, shocked as the tears build up once more, "But I do not deserve you after what I've done."

"We will work on fixin' this broken trust between us, but Y/N, you are all I will ever desire," Finan leans to kiss you, his eyelids lowering as he moves in, "and you are all I will ever need."

The kiss feels like a lifetime coming, you had no idea how much you missed his touch and taste until his mouth was on yours once more. You're pulling him as close as you can without hurting him or yourself, not ready to break it just yet.

And when you do, your next words will be ones you will live by for the rest of your life, "I spend the rest of my days proving my love to you."

"And I will never leave you lonely again," Finan promises you as he kisses you again, his hand on your waist moving back to your belly, "Neither of you."

And it's true. He is there for everything, every moment, from the rest of your pregnancy to the day you give birth. Finan is at your side as you bring your first son to life, and he is there for every birth for every child the two of you have throughout your marriage. And when he must leave to carry his oath and serve his lord, you do not fear, because you know he will do everything in his power to come home. It Is the promise he'll always fight to keep.

Finan, your husband.

Your everything.

[marchioness-caprina]

Confessions

Pairings : Reader x Bakugou

Writing Style : 1st Person and 3rd Person

Warning : A Lot of Swearing

Word Count : 3639

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Y/n's POV

" I Just don't Know what To do Izuku! You're Telling Me He Likes me but he barely even takes a glance at me! The bad thing is that whenever I try approaching him... Or even expressing my Love for him... He screams bloody murder and roasts me like there's no tomorrow! " I complained as I buried my face within my palms .

I was on the verge of tears simply because of a shitty crush. I felt Izuku's Hand caress my head as He stared down at me with a sympathetic gaze.

" There, There y/n. Let it all out " He muttered making me want to cry even more but I wasn't done venting.

" I've been chasing him ever since we were in middle school! Ironic how I give nothing but love but receive pain instead... I think... I should finally Give up" I whispered the last part and Izuku's movements were put in a halt.

" Really? After everything you've been doing for him? You'll just give up?! That's not you y/n! You're the type of person who fights with everything you've got without losing hope! And that's pretty admirable! I may not be as close with Kaachan as I was before but I know for a fact that he likes you too and is just too... Errr... Umm... How do I say this? Uhh He just has a really big Ego to admit it " He tried lifting my spirit up but I was tired. My heart was tired and I just wanted to... Give up or maybe Just Rest for a couple of weeks.

" Yeah? Well you think pretty Highly of Me Izuku.... But I'm weak too you know and there are battles I must quit.... I'll just try to recollect myself and rest for a few weeks Or so, I'll have to set my Priorities straight too... Ya know... If you get what I mean and all " I chuckled trying to mask the pain and it was futile. Izuku can read me like an open book.

He gave me a solemn look before nodding. This little cinnamon roll is just too kind and understanding, he even accompanied me to this very cafe we were in when he saw me looking down coming out of the Dorms.

" I get it, People need to cool off from time to time " He gave me a small smile and I returned it with a grin.

" Hey! You know there's this Carnival That was set up last week and it's their last day today! I had two tickets and tried inviting Katsuki.... I mean Bakugou Yesterday and he almost blew these tickets away.... It would be a waste if we don't use it so why don't we start my Personal Growth and healing by having Fun!? " I exclaimed and Izuku looked genuinely as excited as me.

" Really!? Sure! I'd like to go! It's been awhile since I actually had fun because of all the Pressure and Stress! " He smiled and I grabbed his hand immediately and dragged him out of the cafe and Off to The carnival we Go!.

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" Man! And Don't even get me started on the Food there! Although the Almight Mascot looked Really Weird it was still fun! " I Beamed as Izuku opened the front door.

" Yeah! And the Fireworks were awesome Too! I'm really glad we hung out today! " He bashfully stated as we simultaneously stepped inside .

" And Where have you two gone to? Maybe you shouldn't have came back if you'd show up in the middle of the damn night " Aizawa sensei suddenly appeared out of nowhere making me and Izuku flinch in shock.

" W-why... Hello there sensei " Midoriya stuttered fear ridden as he glanced down at me.

' Shit we're screwed '

" Guys! I believe it was extremely irresponsible to be gone without a word and come back at an unearthly hour! You could have atleast sent one of us a message or even answered Our calls! So we wouldn't be this anxious of your arrival! " Iida Sped walked towards me and Izuku and that's when we noticed that everyone was still up and gathered in the common room.

" We were so worried about you guys! We thought a villain took you or something! "

" Not cool dude, Aizawa Sensei almost flipped and called out a search team to look for you guys "

" You could have told us before you left "

Came the concerned comments of our classmates. It made my heart swell up with Joy and at the same time Guilt.

" We're so Sorry! " Me and Izuku yelled in Sync bowing our heads.

" It was my fault! I forgot my phone in my room! And Izuku was just accompanying me to a small cafe in town... And I invited him to go have fun at the carnival... To Distress.... I didn't think you guys would be this worried but thank you for worrying about us! " I yelled an apology and Izuku was fast to take the blame.

" No it's my fault! I turned off my phone and left without informing anyone and without thinking of the consequences! Neither me and y/n were aware of the time. We won't do it again! We're sorry guys" Izuku frowned as I placed my hand on his shoulder.

With a sigh Aizawa gave us a stern look scratching the back of his head before speaking.

" Look, this better not happen again or else you two will be in serious trouble. You're lucky tomorrow's a Sunday so No school . Just make sure to say something next time and not disappear without a trace "

" Yes sensei! " Izuku answered while I nodded my head vigorously.

As Aizawa continued his Lecture my eyes drifted towards the crowd of my classmates and what surprised me was that Bakugou was Present. He was awake. Did he actually give a fuck?... No he's probably dragged into this by Kaminari or Kirishima.

After a long 30 minutes of sermon Aizawa sensei finally let us go.

In the end everyone returned to their rooms and Before I went to mine I gave Izuku a Hug as a ' Thank you for being there for me ' and I was unaware of a pair of crimson red eyes staring at us.

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The Next Day

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I heard knocking on my door which forced me to wake up and open the door and to my surprise it was Izuku and Uraraka.

" Morning Guys.... What brings you here? " I yawned blinking my eyes as the two chuckled at my messy appearance.

Bed hair, oversized t shirt and drool on the corner of my lips.

" We came here to invite you for breakfast! Everyone is gathered in the common room! You're a pretty heavy sleeper! Jirou and Momo tried waking you up earlier and there was no answer " Uraraka explained but still, sleep was very much alive in my system and I just gave a lazy nod before hanging again.

" Looks like she's still Tired Uraraka, you go on ahead we'll catch up with you" Izuku offered and Uraraka was fast to jolt away a from us.

" Ok! But you better not let her go back to sleep Deku! Everyone's counting on you to wake her up! " Uraraka yelled as she headed downstairs.

I was swaying back and forth with my eyes half lidded and I had a sudden urge to sleep on the floor.

" Still sleepy? " Izuku asked and fortunately I was still awake enough to give him a nod.

" Wanna get on my back? I'll carry you down stairs so you'll have time to rest " He offered while turning his back against me and bending down.

Without hesitation I fell on his back and subconsciously wrapped my arms around his neck and my head resting on his back.

I felt his scarred hand grip my thighs and he lifted me off the ground and started walking.

Honestly I didn't know how long it took him to get to the common room but I was happy I had a really nice friend to carry me like this.

" Wow, Midoriya when we told you to get Y/n we didn't know you'd actually ' Get ' Her " The familiar Voice of Kaminari commented and I was thankfully awake or more like I forced myself to be awake.

I peeked my eyes at him and stuck my tongue out.

" Yeah you're just jealous cause Izuku is Carrying me " I retorted and Izuku's chest vibrated in a small chuckle.

" You two a Thing Now or something? " Mina grinned pointing at us with her chopsticks.

" No Mina we're not a Thing. We're People " I countered and she gave a light laugh.

" Smart move y/n. Smart move "

" Do you want me to put you down now? " Izuku asked as he looked back at me and I shook my head.

" No, I like being carried by you. You're really warm " I smirked and the poor boy's face overheated with embarrassment.

" Oo~ are you sure you two aren't a Thing? " Uraraka Teased giving me and Izuku a suggestive wink.

" So you're dumping Bakugou for Midoriya or something? " Kaminari crackled with laughter and the whole room fell into a cold silence.

As if everyone knew something I should be aware of.

" Me and Bakugou aren't Dating in the first place, I don't think we'll ever be together too " I confidently stated and I could hear gasps and the shock faces of my classmates didn't go unnoticed.

" S-She called him Bakugou and Not Katsuki! " Mineta Yelled in panic as he stared at me with wide eyes.

Suddenly a loud bang was heard from one of the tables. Specifically the Table Bakugou was on.

He had slammed his hand on the table along with his chopsticks and he was seething with so much anger and... Are my eyes lying? Is that jealousy!?.

" I ain't fucking hungry! " He yelled and stood up violently that the chair fell off.

He started stomping his way towards us. I was never afraid of Him.... Well not until Now atleast.

" Deku " He growled lowly and I could feel Izuku tremble.

Immediately, I got down from his back and when Katsuki was close enough I stepped infront of Izuku.

" Stay Back Bitch! " He hissed and I stood my ground.

" No you Stay back Asshole! What is your problem!? Why don't you mind your own fucking Business! " I snapped harshly poked his Chest with each word I uttered.

He glared at me tiny sparks popping on his palms.

What he said next was something I have never expected him to say.

" You are My goddamn Business You Little Shit! Hanging around with Deku the whole Night making me worry about your shitty ass! And now you're clinging onto him like a stupid fucking Koala! Can't you see how jealous I am!? Can't you drill it in your pretty little head that you're Fucking Mine! " His voice rang through every corner of the common room.

Everyone was silent for a few seconds. My eyes were wide and full of disbelief.

" Finally, Took Him a long time to actually confess... It was kinda getting painful to watch " Kaminari mumbled but it was loud enough for me to hear.

" Dude, it was so manly confessing to her infront of everyone. Bakugou is a true man " Came another comment from one of my classmates, Kirishima.

Katsuki was glaring at me his Chest rising and falling at a visible way clearly indicating how aggravated he was.

His crimson eyes held a lot of swirling emotions, Jealousy, Anger, Betrayal and Possessiveness.

" ..... Excuse you!? " I managed to voice out and he tried grabbing me but I was quick to evade his hand.

" No! And Just when I finally decided to give up on you. You decide to throw all this bullshit infront of me Bakugou Fucking Katsuki! No you listen here you Egotistical Haughty Son of a Bitch! I suffered through every shitty insult and pain you threw my way because I loved you and when I'm at my limit and ready to go you give me this!? all you gave me was pain and honestly I'm not a masochistic bitch to accept it with open arms how but my middle finger huh?!. Damn you and your very confusing and petty way of claiming me! That is not happening! You hear me!? So suck it up Bakuhoe and Go Fuck yourself " I actually felt proud of myself but that was the first time I actually raised my voice or even cursed infront of everyone in the first place so their dumbfounded expression didn't really surprised me.

" Wow.... Your girl's as good at Cursing as you are Bakugou " Sero was the first to comment and that pissed me off.

" I'm not his 'Girl' " I emphasized the girl part with a hint of mockery.

" Yet " Bakugou added making me glare at him.

" Fuck you " I grumbled turning around to walk away in victory thinking I had won the fight.

But before I could even take one step forward I was slung over Bakugou's Shoulder hanging upside down.

" Put me down you Fucking Asshole! " I yelled as he carried me away from the common room.

" Hey! " I grab hold of his blonde hair which was surprisingly soft and gave it a harsh tug which earned me a groan from him.

" Bitch! " He yelled slapping my butt making me gasp.

" I should get you mad more often, That was hot " He commented as if he hadn't just slapped my butt.

The nerve of this fucker.

" Put me down!" I growled as he proceeded to carry me upstairs.

" Now don't think I'm done with you just yet. I have to get my sweet revenge because you hung out with Fucking Deku and let him touch you! " He barked as I felt him tighten his hold on my fleshy thigh.

I tried everything I could, from squirming to kicking to punching his back but the guy is a Fucking wall and didn't even budge.

" Stop it Bitch! Save your energy for later. You're gonna need it " He muttered making me react violently. Until he had enough of it and slammed my back to the nearest wall with his strong muscular arms trapping me I'm between with his body a bit too close to mine.

His face was inches away and I visibly gulped turning my face to the side as his breathe fanned my cheek.

" Bakugou I'm warning you. I'm gonna do something YOU'RE gonna regret if you don't let me go " I had managed to say without stuttering and I mentally Pat myself on the back for my strong tone.

" Fuck it y/n. You really think I'd let you get away after Saying all that shit and defending Deku!? After you hopped onto his back like you're HIS!? Well you're Fucking Mine! You got that!? " He yelled making me groan. His voice was too loud and I think my ears are gonna bleed.

" You asked for it! " I yelled back as I prepared to kick him where the sun don't shine but I didn't even get to raise my leg halfway when he pulled me down by my leg and pressed his body against mine even more.

Right now I had no way of moving with my leg trapped against his thighs holding me in place.

" Oh? Was that your Great Fucking Move? Well it's pretty pathetic so kick and scream all you want. I'm claiming you right now " Using his hand he raked my locks down and gripped onto my hair roughly forcing me to face him and his lips had already connected with mine.

His kiss was rough, dominating with a tinge of passion and jealousy. Moving his lips at a better angle his other hand trailed down to squeeze my hips.

I ressisted. I really did but after awhile of him kissing me I melted. My hands wrapping themselves around his neck my chest squeezed with his toned chest. Both of his hands resting on my waist as I stood on my tippy toes kissing him back with the same intensity.

Opening my mouth to give him access he didn't waste a second to slip his tongue inside my claiming his new domain. His tongue wrestled with my own and soon gaining dominance as he continued the rough kiss.

It was a very angry kiss with lots of jealousy coming from him.

When we finally pulled away breathless and panting his intense crimson orbs pierced mine a smug smirk slowly rigging on the corners of his mouth.

" Still refusing me after that? After you willingly kissed me back? After clinging onto me for dear life? " He was either mocking me or teasing me but either way it pissed me off.

" Katsuki I'm gonna rip your throat off if you keep that up " I glared at him but I guess actions spoke louder than words because my neck was still wrapped around his neck and my body still pressed against his.

" Yeah right and a moment ago you called me Bakugou now look who's calling me Katsuki again " He sneered and I tried retreating my hand away from his neck to push him away but he beat me to it; grabbing my arms and using it as leverage to pull me closer towards him.

" I know I did some pretty fucked up shit. I'm not the best person at expressing these shitty feelings I have for you but I will make it up to you, I'm s-soow.... S-sooo.... Rrr... Eeyyyy " The way he forced out a ' I'm sorry ' got me laughing so hard .

He didn't appreciate that because his cheeks were tinted red form embarrassment and anger.

" You Fucking bitch! Don't laugh at me! I'm trying! " He yelled as I continued laughing.

Yeah, seeing him like that was new and hilarious.

My laughter was cut off when I felt his warm lips press a kiss on my cheek.

He looked to his side his eyes avoiding mine.

" Don't Fucking laugh cause I mean it though.... I'll make it up to you.... " He muttered the faint red color of his cheeks still present.

A smile formed on my lips as I stared at him fondly. A small pinkish tint coating my own cheeks but me being me I ruined the moment with a bitchy remark.

" Yeah why don't you practice saying Sorry first while not sounding like you were about to take the biggest shit of your life " I retorted and because of that I began laughing once again and he was raging. Screaming at me to stop laughing but I couldn't help it. He did deserve it after all.

I'm pretty sure I'll get more of my little revenge in the future....

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Bonus :

" Deku.... I know you care about those two and You're a hardcore shipper but... What you did though... Was it on purpose? " Uraraka asked taking another bite of her pancakes as they listened to the two bicker.

" Who knows " Izuku answered with a contented smile on his face.

" Huh... You're a bit suicidal for doing that but I respect you man. Bakugou finally confessed it was getting pretty sad to watch him act all tough and pretending he doesn't like her " Sero chuckled.

" Hopefully those two will stay strong from now on... " Momo took a sip of her tea and everyone silently agreed with her.

" So.... Do you think they're Fucking? " Mineta suddenly brought up the topic which caused Tsu to slap him with her Tongue.

" Mineta-kun you're being a pervert again" Tsu muttered staring at the purple headed boy.

" Hahahahha! " Denki and Mina suddenly came down stairs holding a camera.

" You guys wanna see what they were doing upstairs? " Denki asked while laughing.

" Dude, invading other people's privacy is Not manly " Kirishima stated bit he couldn't help but be curious.

" .... What happened though? " Kirishima asked taking a peek at the camera.

" Oh you know, They kissed and Bakugou tried saying sorry but it was an epic fail! " Mina laughed and on cue Y/n came running down with an in raged Bakugou trailing hot on her tail.

" Come Back here! " Bakugou barked trying to grab hold of the girl.

" I was being honest when I said you need practice in saying sorry! You look like you're about to shit Bricks! " She yelled merely avoiding the hand of Bakugou that was centimeters away from holding her.

" Drama and Breakfast in the morning sure is pretty Good. But Drama, Breakfast and Comedy in the Morning is The best! " Denki chuckled watching the two interact.

" Oh boy... I have a feeling everything is going to be a lot more louder here than usual " Izuku sighed .

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Soulmate AU

Before you meet your soulmate you have to deal with a chibi version of them before actually meeting them. So can he handle it?

Kai's point of view since you guys wanted

Reader's view

Soulmates... a mere distraction and useless thing that appeared on the humanity. Seing thise with disgusting little versions of other persons on their shoulder or just howering over their head just gave him the nerves.

Ever since he turned 18, he tried to not think about it much... his chibi didn't appeared, and probably never would... Pops and Kurono always gave him as younger the bullshit of "be patient" or "Those things take time."

He didn't believed that neither want it. He didn't needed a stupid sick person to distract him from his mission... that's what he told himself.

One day, working he heard a crash and immediately sighed in annoyance. It wasn't a good day for him and he wasn't on the mood to atture anyone. Almost throwing his pen down, he got up with a grunt and went in search of where the noise went only to find the living room in complete chaos as Mimic, Nemoto and Setsuno holded weapons while looking at the ground.

"What the hell..?" He muttered before Setsuno shouted an "THERE! KILL IT!" before the three man started to stab, shot the ground as little squeak's echoed in the room.

He was about to scold everyone on that room before he almost shouted when he felt the reason of their misbehaviour bump into his leg. Looking down, glove already discarded, he saw a what was supposed to be a tiny creature, eyes shinning a vibrant (E/c) color while looking up at him while adjusting their (H/c) hair.

"What the-?" He cringed and hissed when the creature hugged his ankle and went to kill it before a elder hand grabbed on his wrist. The owner demanding that everyone excluding Chisaki left the room.

"Pops with all due respect-"

"My boy, after years you're really going to kill your soulmate?" The elder spoke with a frown as Chisaki tried to not widen his eyes. Pops crouched down and gently cupped the chibi in his hands and brought up for him and Kai to see more closely.

"My, isn't that one of prettiest chibis I saw?" The elder chuckled as the chibi blushed and squeaked happily at the man's commentary as Kai narrowed his eyes at the little thing. "Don't you agree my boy?" The elder asked as Kai glared one more time at the chibi before scoffing and storming out of the room.

The chibi tilted their head as Pops chuckled, letting the pretty thing down on the ground to follow Kai.

He sighed before widening his amber eyes at hearing the squeaking following him. He turned around and send a dark glare at the chibi who only smiled lovingly at him.

"Shoo. Be gone." He tried to shove them with his foot by all in vain since the chibi attached to his ankle and squeaked happily as he cringed. "GET OFF!"

Kurono appeared on the halls before snorting at the scene before commenting.

"Found your soulmate?"

"Shut up and help me get rid of this!" Kai glared at his friend who made a thoughtful expression before smirking and denying, hlgetting out and leaving Kai with the lovely chibi on his ankle.

.

.

.

He groaned as he tried to work and the chibi continued walking, playing or even squeaking to get his attention. The chibi wouldn't just leave him alone and always followed or tried to cuddle one part of his body and was getting already on his nerves.

His pacience broke when the chibi accidentally let a bit of his pen fall and he slammed his hands on his desk. Making the chibi squeak, but this time in fear.

"Get. Out. Of my office." He growled the words between his teeth, glaring at the chibi as hives slowly started to appear on his skin "I don't want to even hear your stupid squeaking or see your disgusting face again. Out."

The chibi stayed silent as Kai continued glaring at it before he let out a confused and quite shock noise when tears started to roll down their round cheeks as the chibi jumped from his desk and ran out of his office.

"Well... at least some peace." He sighed before taking his seat again. Getting back to work despite a feeling of guilt starting to grow on the back of his head.

It had been more than six hours since he last saw his chibi soulmate ever since he... blow off. Walking around the halls he couldn't help but sometimes look behind him sometimes to check if the chibi was following him... but it wasn't.

Frowning a bit he shook his head before an idea popped into his mind. Getting his phone out and start his research about the chibis.

Reading more and more about them he saw that his soulmate was actually a quite patient one... normally chibis when ignored by only half an hour they ran away from the person and never heard of again.... but it has been days since he had tried to ignore their existence, and his soulmate was still there, happily following him like a puppy.

Reading ore and more his heart dropped subconsciously when he saw that chibis were extremely fragile creatures. One hit and they might end up the actual person on a very bad and dangerous way. His worry and guilt were too overbearing as he got up and decided to look for the chibi around the house... just to prevent a death.

Yeah... it was only because of that. Je didn't wanted the yakusa to have a bad reputation if one person died becaus of a chibi.... because he was an asshole to them.

Although it reached around the night hours. And still hadn't found the damn chibi. Kurono noticed his distress and he admited the whole story so he could help him.

Kai was almost losing his mind, already admitting that he missed his chibi soulmate, not hearing their annoying squeak was torture now.

"Relax dude, we're going to find-"

"Is my fault. I shouldn't have growled at it." He admited begrudgingly, as Kurono tried his best to not just nod in agreement to not make his friend more stressed than he was.

The two walked towards the kitchen to get a drink before Kai almost felt his breath being ripped out of his chest when he saw the damn brat, sitting on the kitchen counter nibbling on a fruit, not aware of the presence of the two males on the room.

"There it is." Hati smirked as Kai let out a relieved sigh, hesitantly walking towards the chibi as Kurono went to bed.

"You brat, where were you?" He hadn't meant for his tone to be harsh, but immediately cringed when the chibi let out a terrified squeak and hidded behind the basquet of fruitsm

He did deserve that.

Sighing, he got a chair to sit down as he watched like a hawks the shaken chibi as he frowned.

"Apologies." He said nonchantly bit noticed it wasn't enough for the chibi to even poke their head out to look at him. "... I never expected to have a soulmate. I was always barely on my own... and as you cam see I am not the best person to be around of." He looked at the door frame a bit, the corner of his eyes spotting the chibi slowly getting out "Whenever I'm around, the fun ends. That's how always has been since the old man took me in. I... guess that I just think that I'm not suitable to have someone... I would just let them down anyway." He flinched and tensed at feeling something on his hand, only to look down at the chibi hugging his hand and looking up at him before squeaking a smile.

"... even despite of what I did to you, you forgive me that easy?" He arched one eyebrow at the another squeak. His smirk was hidded thanks by his mask as he awkwardly rubbed their chubby cheek with his thumb.

"Brat." He whispered as the chibi squeaked again as he allowed himself to finally be relieved on that day.

.

.

.

Ever since them, he put the brat, as he decided to call, on his shoulder since they seemed like to enjoy snuggle up on the purple feathers of his jacket. Everyone who dared to aproach or even try to touch it, Chisaki immediatly would overhaul them on the spot.

The brat, when the both were alone would always squeak loudly whenever he was wearing his mask. Grumpily he would take it off just to stop hearing the squeaking only for the chibi to kiss his cheek or even lips and ran away from him.

"Why you little-"

Rappa almost stepped on the chibi once, and no one believed that Kai actually shouted and cursed the man... no one even knew that Chisaki knew much cursed words as Kendo himself.

One day, opening the door of Eri's room he called the girl who shakily stood up before both of them widened their eyes when hearing a squeak and the chibi just popping out of Chisaki's jacket and waving at Eri.

"....u-uh...."

"Don't comment and just go Eri."

He really didn't know whether he should ignore it or just want the floor to swallow him after that.

.

.

.

Loosening his tie around is neck he found the chibi on the middle of his bed crying. Anger and concern immediately ran up to his veins as he looked around for any signs fro someone else that could have hitted you or other thing.

Then he remember something, chibis usually reflected what their actual versions were feeling at the moment and for the first time he felt empathy... slowly taking a seat he saw the tiny drops of water espace their eyes.

His gloved hand grabbed them, making them squeak as he apologised. Lowering his mask he glared at the chibi a bit before hesitantly and awkwardly peeking them.

Immediatly the humor of the chibi changed as they let out inumerous squeaks amd hugged his bare face and peppered it with tiny smooches as he grunted.

"I regret my decision already..." he growled as the chibi squeaked even more.

.

.

.

"They sound like they hadn't sleep in ages." Kurono commented with a laugh at seing Kai's soulmate almost drooling on his shoulder as Kai stared blankly at them.

"They're just a lazy brat." He murmured nonchantly before returning his gaze at his front as the chibi let out a cute yawn. "You know the deal, give them the product and leave, or else shoot."

"Got it." They went to turn on a alleyway before Kai let out a grunt when his chibi yanked on his pierced ear and started to squeak loudly and jump on his shoulder.

"What the hell?" Kurono commented as Kai grabbed the chibi on his gloved hand and glared at them.

"What's wrong with-" the chibi bited on his gloved hand and jumped on the floor and stomped out as Kai stared in horror as Kurono was froze in shock "they never did this before."

"Go after them. I will slow down the business." Kai nodded ass he ran after his chibi, ready to give them an hour of lecture for daring to pinch their small teeth on his hand.

"Get THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME-!" he shoved past the people as he ran after his soulmate that despite being little it was fast."GET BACK HERE YOU BRAT!"

The chibi stopped amd looked at him with a smile, poiting at the entrance of a market, squeaking and jumping before entering the place.

"You want to get killed you little-?!" He groaned and stormed in the market looking at the ground desperatly... he was already panicking again before he spotted the little shit turning on a aisle.

"For God's sake brat dont you-?!" He stopped on his tracks when he saw his chibi on the arms of another one. A small version of himself as it hugged lovingly his brat while he could even feel hearts emitting out of them.

"I see..." he muttered in shock to himself before gasping quietly when he heard another's voice, something like "goldie" before they stopped behind his chibi self.

He locked gaze with the familiar (E/c) beautiful eyes. His actual soulmate... was standing there, right in front of him...

They started to slowly take steps towards him and he subsconciously did the same...

He could feel his brat smilling up at him... as his own and only future love of his life giggled when he arched an eyebrow at then before laughing.

Exactly like he suspected...

He couldn't help but smile at the angel in front of him, knowing that for the first time on his life. Soulmates were actually a blessing since he finally found his brat.

[oyemaggi]

Hi. Idk how to say this but somehow I've to ... It's almost been more than three years and somewhere in the corners it still persists . The things i shouldn't have had done at that time .... that broke your trust !! Over the period as much as we grow older we get wiser , like we get different perspectives as per our situations/ conditions with those experiences life throw at us and those experiences might be different wrt to our situations, as for someone happiness is with ppls they meet and live with and for someone choose to stay away from them . It depends . Period.

And that's the reason, Some days more than others I miss some ppl intensely and regret everything I’ve done, inbetween work and personal balances. So much so that I felt nothing I ever said was justified. Not that I was “right” to say any of those things, I would never say that. But that I had feelings and reactions I needed to address and that they came out in a hot, crying mess of hurtful words and mess i created that I'm aware have wounded you deeply.

Good things, exciting things are happening in my life right now and they’re both frightening and exciting. Some days I’m tempted to withdraw because I fear failure and judgment. Surely someone else would do it better than I ever could.I wish you were the first one I could share these things with, just like the way I used to. It’s funny because I was more honest with K with everything because I never fear judgment even when he disagrees, but telling him everything wasn’t the same. Perhaps I was delusional but the comfortable friendship that K and I have just isn’t the same as the emotional connection we had. I always thought that we were slightly more than friends, even if the relationship wasn’t romantic. We were allies and confidantes to each other. I cannot say the same for all my friends.

I don't mean to bother you much as time passes you might have forgotten that and me but i do still remembered everything and i have to come to a realisation that i wronged you and your feelings at that time and I feel terribly sorry for that ... I shouldn't have done that !! As you face certain things over the period and later on you realise that if you don't like something neither you should do that with anyone ! Like I'm the situation to realise every bit of it and feel the pain ..you felt that time !

Moreover i don't mean to hit at your worstest memory neither i wana wish if things were OK ... With just an intention to apologise i just wanna let you know I'm Sorry for the things that caused you so much pain and heart break plus tears ! I can't bring back all those good moments of joy and happiness but what i can do in this very moment is that to apologise and feel regret with just a promise that it never 'be repeated again . And pray god for your happiness and more goodies over bad ones ... With the ppl you surround and whatever you do !

PS- I wanted to tell you much earlier than this but i didn't had courage to tell ...as i feard about consequences what might happen next or i might get into any trouble as neither my intention was bad at time nor is this time .Tbh, I really never wanted to hurt you but somehow i choosed my friend over everything and who didn't understand my concern even ..!! What else a proud boy can do ?! I don't care anything anymore now neither in any situation to complain about it ... I hope you do understand now !! I hope you are doing good in careers . and moreover I hope you forgive me.

-On moving onn with regrets