#I should sleep but I’m too busy thinking about night blogging

[cheeseoneveryfudgingthing]

Anyone else remember the concept of night blogging?

I miss the simpler times when we’d see a shitpost late at night and go, “oh this is incomprehensible! This is sillybilly nonsense! OP, were you night blogging again?”

Like it used to be that the origin of shitposts was because we missed our bedtime. Now shitposting just happens… whenever…

People need to go back to being deliriously tired before posting on the internet. Being back the nostalgia.

[chlorinecake]

🎙️ star-crossed lovers 【 薄幸な恋人 】 ⛦

summ✩ry While collabing with your girl group and Enhypen for a special stage, forbidden feelings spark between you and the main dancer upon dorming together

p✩iring idol!niki x popstar!reader ✩ requested ✩

-> PART 2 HERE

genre band au, fluff, secret romance cw swearing, mild bullying, the word ‘sexy’ like once, kissing, girl drama, reader is younger than Niki wc 4.4k

“Ugh,” Serenity groaned as the hairstylist applied yet another thick layer of chocolate brown hair dye to her scalp.

“This gig better bring in some serious bank, because never in my life would I willingly collab with those overrated wannabes,” she exclaimed, taking a frustrated sip from her vanilla latte.

“Hey, people used to call us wannabe's, too, you know,” Haerin said quietly as she tucked her hands under the UV light.

“Yeah, you should be more mature about this, Serenity... like I always say, professionalism triumphs pride," you added, only half-engaged in the conversation as a certain online article caught your attention.

As the band leader, you were always in charge of everything, so Serenity and Haerin were used to you talking to them this way...

“I’m just glad that we're getting exposure,” Haerin smiled, thinking of the countless nights you and your group spent practicing routines and writing songs for auditions, "it's not often that artists like us get opportunity's to perform internationally."

“For real,” Serenity cheered, “Riot Grrlz for the win!”

The three of you put your hands out to make a circle, “Riot Grrlz for life,” Haerin exclaimed, forgetting that her nails hadn't fully dried yet.

"Whoops," she giggled, just as Jade, the oldest of your group, made her way from the bathroom.

“What took you so long in there?” Serenity asked cheekily, “I thought we were gonna have to call the fire department.”

“Ha ha, very funny,” Jade returned, taking a seat beside Haerin so she could get her nails done, too.

“You were talking to the enemy, weren’t you,” Serenity accused.

“No, Ren, I didn’t go behind your back and sell my soul to the devil for fame.”

“Not that enemy,” Serenity grinned, “I'm talking about Mr. Six Foot Moon Eyes.”

“Oooooo,” Haerin amused, pulling your attention away from your phone.

“Ugh, let it up guys. My crush on Sunghoon is long gone, especially now that we’re gonna be working together. Besides, I would never act so recklessly over romance.”

“Who said anything about reckless romance,” you teased, unintentionally giving Jade a full view of the article your were reading on your phone.

"Nobody,” she began, “but I’m surprised you even heard that over all your internet-stalking.”

You were scrolling through a K-Pop news feed when you came across a post.

It was titled: "Enhypen Rumored By Netizens To Be Collabing With THIS Rookie Western Girl Group."

"Shush," you whisper-yelled at Jade, "unless you’re trying to get our record deals pulled!"

Just last week, your management team made you and your group sign a contract of secrecy, swearing silence regarding unpublicized business projects and associations: this included your upcoming collab with Enhypen that Jade nearly just spoiled.

Although, in all honesty, the blog's use of the word "rookie" bothered you more than potentially breaking any contract rules.

"Relax, boss, it's practically a ghost town in here," Jade defended, drawing your attention to the near vacant salon space.

Ding.

It was an email from your manager.

He wanted to inform you all that your chauffeur would be ready around 2:45am to bring you guys to the airport.

"Jeez," you mumbled to yourself, "looks like I'm not getting much sleep tonight."

“Shit,” Serenity whined, “I haven’t even made enough time to brush up on my Korean yet!”

“Luckily me and Haerin here are bilingual baddies,” Jade giggled, giving the cat-eyed girl a fist punch.

“Ahh, watch my nails!!”

▶︎ ၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊| • • •

Your company's fashion crew was experimenting with different concepts, assigning each of your members an individual color to permanently represent: Serenity was teal, Jade was purple, Haerin was white, and you were pink.

Some time passed, an you and your group arrived in South Korea around 3:00pm.

Thanks to the fashion tech your management team hired, it wasn't obvious that you and the girls had been in and out of sleep for the past 13 hours.

You couldn't help but stalk the headlines about your group, as rumors about your Enhypen collab continued to spread like wildfire.

So much for swearing silence and secrecy, you thought to yourself.

South Korean pop media had already seemed to build a vendetta against your group, given that you were young, talented, and most importantly, from the states. The xenophobia of most K-netizens was disheartening at best, but you understood that hate was a part of success.

Besides, you were living the dream of many engenes at the moment — most of them would sell their siblings to be in your shoes right now.

“Ahh! This is unreal!!” Jade cheered excitedly in the back of the limousine. You guys had just left the airport around thirty minutes ago, after getting past the pesky crowd of paparazzi.

“I know right? Korean McNuggets slap way harder than back home,” Haerin added while munching on the salty snack.

“Don't get too comfy, Rinnie. We will leave you here,” Serenity joked.

You hadn't even realized the radio was playing until a certain guitar riff blared from the ceiling speakers.

"Oh hell no," Serenity immediately cringed, covering her ears as you, Jade, and Haerin exchanged knowing look, bringing imaginary microphones to your mouths in unison.

It was Enhypen's song Blessed-Cursed, Jay’s voice singing "We go!" over the radio.

"Go, go, go, go, go, go, GO!!" The three of you cheered, obnoxiously dancing to the choreo while sitting.

Memories of your group (minus Serenity) binge watching music videos at sleepovers resurfaced in your mind.

Usually, you'd only listen to throwback hits like Britney Spears or Rihanna, mostly because Rnb and Pop beats inspired your own art.

Still and all, Blessed-Cursed was one video that the three of you fell in love, way before your upcoming collab was even a thought.

"Don't get mad when I start recording you clowns," Serenity threatened, thoroughly amused by your behavior.

▶︎ ၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊| • • •

Upon arriving outside the Hybe Building, a trio of body guards guided you and your girls to an office room where the seven boys stood awkwardly around a large table.

Part of you still couldn't believe this was all actually happening, despite it being right in front of you.

“Hello! We are Enhypen,” Jungwon bowed as the guards exited the room.

Jay visibly cringed at his leaders words, “I promise we were told to introduce ourselves like that. Please don’t judge us.”

“Well, uhm… H-hi,” you stuttered, feeling a bit nervous, “We are the Riot Grrlz. It’s a pleasure being able to work with you all.”

Niki, the tallest of the boys, caught your attention immediately as he greeted you with a peace sign.

Was he always this cute?, you thought to yourself.

That’s when a lady dressed in all black barged through the glass door on the other side of the room.

“Sorry to interrupt… well, not really. Me and the Enhypen boys are already well familiar with each other, but you ladies can call me Kim,” she greeted, waltzing into the office as if owning the place.

She was a fast talker, so you knew you’d have to pay attention to what she was saying or else you might miss something.

“I hope you made use of each others time and gathered everyone’s names? Phone numbers?”

”We were just in the middle of that before you came in, Miss Kim,” Sunoo clarified.

“Very well then. You have a total of 15 minutes to lock in dorming arrangements. As you’ll see on this clipboard here…”

She paused mid-sentence, holding the clipboard dumbly.

“God, can one of you take this thing already?”

“Oh- sorry,” Heeseung chuckled nervously, taking the clipboard from the fiery woman.

“As I was saying, there are four rooms for the eleven of you to somehow divide. And no, just because you’re all hormonal young adults, none of you get a free pass to break the no-dating rule.”

“No-dating rule? What is this, a detention center,” Serenity mumbled.

Kim cleared her throat, feigning a smile as she glared at Serenity with narrowed eyes, “This is a place of utmost professionalism, Princess Land of The Free. If you have a problem adhering to the rules in place here, you are more than welcome to leave.”

“A-and after that? The fifteen minutes, I mean,” Haerin blurted out shyly.

“All of you will meet back in the main lobby, where you will be guided accordingly.”

Miss Kim turned of her black boots, beelining to the door with powerful strides, “The timer starts now” she called out, closing the door behind her.

And with that began your group discussion of rooming arrangements. Unfortunately, though, things didn’t get off to a particularly nice start.

“Are you effing kidding me?” Serenity asked rudely, screwing her eyes toward a now annoyed Heeseung, “Why can't we just get separate hotel rooms?!?”

“Look, there's no perfect way to go about this," he sighed, crossing out the roommate pairs you all had just agreed on. "So you either humble yourself, or sleep in the bathtub for the next two weeks."

“Really guys, the math is simple,” Jake started, “There’s eleven of us and only four rooms to choose from. Nine of us will be divided in groups of three, and the remaining two will share the last room together.”

"Cool! Me, ____, and Jade can share the first room together!" Haerin obliged with a smile.

"Perfect, and where will I go?" Serenity questioned, mocking Haerin's excitement.

"The bathtub, right?" Jay teased, provoking Serenity to argue with him.

Meanwhile, you attempted to make peace with everyone willing to listen, “Guys, I agree with Jake. We need to make a decision quickly before Kim gets back.”

“Right. Everyone in favor of room number 1, provide a show of hands,” Heeseung said, Jay and Jake raising their hands with him.

"And for room 2?" Jungwon initiated, raising his hand with Jade and Haerin.

A pout formed on Jade's face once she realized that Sunghoon wasn't in the same pair as her.

"3's the magic number, I guess…" Sunghoon offered, Serenity raising her hand with him.

Now it was just you, Sunoo, and Niki remaining.

"I'll group with 3, too. All of our name's start with "S," so it just makes sense that way," Sunoo joined shyly.

"Welp, now that leaves the final room for me and..."

"Me..." Niki spoke with a deep voice, flashing a mysterious half-smile-half-smirk that you knew would haunt your mind later.

"Me and me... the odd one's out! Wow, that's actually perfect!" Jake cheered just as the lady in black strut back in.

“Times up,” she said, taking the clipboard from Heeseung to analyze the finalized dorming plans.

“Hmm, interesting,” she mumbled to herself, tucking the clipboard under her arm.

You all made your way down to the main lobby, just as Kim instructed.

One of the security guards mentioned that Hybe suggested a dinner outing for your group and Enhypen as a way to end the night before you started work the next day… or maybe it was mostly a way to officially confirm the rumors about your collab.

Upon arriving, everyone sat at separate tables, divided according to who they agreed to room with.

Although Niki seemed quiet at first, you and him were giggling the babies the entire time you ate.

“Poor Jungwon. He’s gonna be sandwiched between Jade and Haerin for the next two weeks, his biggest fans,” you joked.

“Nah, Sunghoon and Sunoo have it way worse. Serenity’s attitude is enough to send me running,” Niki chuckled, shaking his head.

"Speaking of running, how come you were appointed leader over your group even though you’re a baby," Niki teased.

"Not you baby-shaming me! I was born in 06', you've barely got any experience on me."

"I've had an entire YEAR to catch up on things, for your information."

"Things like what? Potty training?"

"Pfft, probably..." he replied, going quiet for a second before continuing, "If you ever need help, though, I don’t mind practicing with you after hours.”

"Sounds like fun, but that might be past my bedtime," you pouted playfully, taking one of the fries off his plate.

"Hmm."

"Hmm what?"

"Nothing, I just didn't take you as the type to follow rules," he smirked, taking a sip from his soda.

"I guess it depends on what rules we're breaking. Whether it’s worth it or not."

"So rule breaking is a “we” thing now, huh?"

"Probably..." you smiled, the cool breeze of the foreign air sending shivers down your spine.

Or maybe that had something to do with Niki?

Before you knew it, it was time to head back to your dorms for the night. You knew rehearsals in South Korea were taken a lot more seriously than where you're from, so you needed all the rest you could get.

▶︎ ၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊| • • •

Day one was easy.

The main focus was recording voice samples in the studio, experimenting with different harmonies, and training your vocals as needed.

Now you were on day two, which started with a quick vocal session, leading into the dance rehearsal warm-up right after. After stretching, the studio was split in half, girls taking the left side and boys taking the right.

You all wore numbers on your back. This way, there wouldn’t be any confusion when any of your were being called.

Niki was assigned number eleven, and you had number one.

According to Jake, the numbers were disseminated based on skill level, and out of the 11 of you, that made Niki first place… and you the very last.

As rehearsals went on, your placement was proving to be true.

You were struggling to keep up with the choreography and it was really starting to bug you.

"Are you feeling okay," Niki asked as you sighed for what sounded like the hundredth time.

"Yea, I'm fine, it’s just this footwork is a bit tricky," you admitted.

“Aww, the smallest number for our most inexperienced contributor,” Serenity teased, making a pass at both your age and inability to get this one move right.

“I may be the youngest out of all of us, but I was appointed head over our group for a reason,” you snapped back.

“Yea… and it still shocks me to this day,” she mumbled, Jade and Haerin pausing to listen now.

You scoffed at her ignorance, putting your hands on your hips, “As if you could lead the Riot Grrlz any better.”

Serenity gave you a look that made you wanna drop here right there in front of everyone.

You never understood why she always had an attitude over the simplest things, and given the current work setting, your tolerance for her bull crap was at an all time low.

“Right, the Riot Grrlz. “Rookie Western Girl Group,” huh? And you expect me to be proud of that?”

“With pride of lionesses, of course,” Jade pitched in, leaning down to fasten her shoelaces.

“We should really keep working on our routine, guys,” Haerin mumbled quietly, causing the raging brunette diva to roll her eyes.

Meanwhile, the boys seemed to be getting along rather well with their part of the routine, completely blind to the chaos brewing at their left.

And by the boys, I mean all of them except Niki and Jake, who were both too distracted by your girl drama.

Way to go embarrassing myself again, you thought to yourself

“You’re new to this sort of training, aren’t you,” Jake asked curiously.

“What, did my shitty dance moves give it away?”

You know it wasn’t Jake’s fault, but you were started to doubt your abilities as an artist and performer.

Even Serenity felt as though you were letting your group down.

“You’re not a shitty dancer, ____,” Niki answered, walking closer to you.

“Yeah, Niki’s right. You shouldn’t put so much pressure on yourself,” Jake added.

“Exactly! Just focus on your strengths,” Serenity pitched in, “your vocals, for example. You might ruin the dance routine, but at least you’ll save all the high notes with Heeseung.”

It was clear that you and Niki were equally fed up with Serenity’s toxicity.

“Okay, can everybody clear out for a moment," Niki clapped, causing everyone to back up against the walls almost instantly.

He pulled you by the hand, turning you to face him as he called out to Sunoo, "Put on a random dance track, real quick. Something upbeat, please."

“Gotcha!”

Turning back to you, Niki took your chin in his hand, making your eyes meet his. “Just follow my lead, okay?” He whispered, taking off the bracelet he wore before sliding it on your wrist, “Do you trust me?”

“Niki...” you started, not sure of what he was trying to do.

“I need you to feel the music, ____. Let it control you," he said, stepping away as a short remix of "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls blared from the radio.

You could hear an amused Serenity and Sunghoon chuckle a bit at Sunoo’s choice of song, but Niki remained serious.

His gaze met the ground before he started freestyling to the song, letting his mind and body get used to the rhythm as he flowed to the beat. You stood awkwardly beside him, not feeling up to dance at the moment.

He caught sight of you standing and nudged your shoulder, "Loosen up, ____," he smiled, finally starting to feel the song himself.

You started by mirroring his movements at first, adding a few steps to make it fit your own style more.

"See? Now you're getting it," he encouraged again, pulling you toward him so you could dance together.

Your friends and the boys cheered you and Niki on while you two danced as if choreographed.

The track ended with Niki's had on your waist, both of your chests heaving from all the action.

Haerin's jaw dropped as she struggled to find the right words or any words to say, “That was…”

“Sexy!” Heeseung smirked while playfully fanning himself, making Niki turn his face in embarrassment.

You could feel your own face getting hot now, too, especially with everyone staring.

"Relax, Rinnie, you're acting like you've never seen a guy dance with a girl before," Jade chuckled.

"N-not... n-never like THAT,” Haerin said with a shocked face, “____, you're amazing!"

"Thanks," you smiled shyly, eyes falling back the bracelet Niki put around your wrist.

"Keep it... it's a good luck charm," he replied softly.

"Alright, alright. You guys can loosen up each other's buttons on your own time," Serenity snapped, interrupting everyone's gawking.

"Right... On second thought, it’s time for our break," Jay called, handing you and Niki a rag for your sweat.

"Great job, you guys. See you in 20," Jungwon added.

"Come on, girls," you chirped, picking up your gym bag as you took a sip from your water jug, heading towards the studio exit.

▶︎ ၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊| • • •

The rest of the day continued according to your work schedule. One vocal practice followed the other as the initially difficult routine felt more natural with each retake.

You also made a stop by Hybe's fashion team, getting your measurements taken so they could design your outfit for the upcoming stage.

Although this was a work trip, you were having a blast in Korea so far. You liked getting to work with the new people and trying different foods. You especially liked being roomies with Niki.

He was super talented, chill, yet flirty at the same time.

No wonder his fans go so crazy over him, you thought to yourself.

“Hey, ____,” Niki called out, jogging to catch up as you made your way from the dance studio after going back to get the pair of headphones you forgot near the water cooler.

“I wanna show you something…,” he announced, “Well, a thing I like to do.”

“Mhm, and what’s that?” You asked playfully.

He chuckled, “Just a thing that I can’t get away with while in idol mode. My secret escape... Are you interested?”

You meditated on his words before answering, considering the early curfew outlined by both your managers, and how it was already 8:00 at night, “It’s getting pretty late, you know… Is it gonna take long?”

He giggled again, this time leaning into you. “Only if you’re indecisive.”

The sounds of your sneakers tapping against the shiny tiled floors bounced off the hallway walls.

Like you said, girls would sell souls to be in your shoes right now: there’s no way you were gonna pass up on a chance to hang out with Niki…

A chance to explore this reckless romance.

“Ok, let’s go, but we have to be back by midnight,” you agreed.

“Ok, Cinderella. We’re not too far from where I wanna show you,” he beamed, fighting the urge to hold your hand as you followed him out of the Hybe Building, clashing into the night.

▶︎ ၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊| • • •

The place was reminiscent of a skate park, graffitied ramp-like walls cupping you and Niki in the surface of the arena.

There were a few other people present, but they seemed more wrapped up in their own little worlds to even look your way…

The moon shined behind the thin clouds of the sky, basking you and Niki’s skin with an ethereal glow.

“This is it!” He gestured with open arms, “my secret escape.”

You tucked your hands in your pockets as it was a bit cold out, “A shared secret place?” You corrected, pointing out the tiny groups of people hanging around.

Niki pushed the hoodie from over his head, revealing his two-toned mane, “I guess you could say that… they’re all idols, here. Just like me. They get why I do this.”

“Why you do what,” you inquired, stepping over a few random rocks that decorated the path.

“Why I dance,” he answered almost immediately, looking you in the eyes, “for myself.”

He took a few steps away from you, swaying to the music that rippled from one of the mystery people’s carry-radios.

Like earlier, you mirrored his moves at first, adding your own adjustments based on intuition.

Feeling.

You had so many more questions to ask, but in this moment, you focused on Niki and the way he moved.

The small groups of people developed into a crowd within a matter of seconds, joining you and Niki along with the music.

Although everyone was doing their own thing, in a strange way if felt harmonious.

Some people danced calmly, others were more wild. Either way, you were starting to understand what Niki meant.

Being able to express yourself away from prying eyes, scornful comments, flashing cameras, or a number 1 sign on your back was invigorating.

The music was still going when Niki grabbed your hand and pulled you to the side, a soft look taking over his features.

“Kiss me,” he whispered, staring into your eyes.

“W-what?”

“I just need to know that what I’m feeling right now is real.”

You took his face in your hands, trying to make yourself feel more in control of the situation, “Niki, I don’t think we should do this. Your manager outlined pretty strict rules.”

He paused before responding, “Remember what you said at the restaurant the first day we met?”

His grip on your hands remained delicate despite how strongly he felt for you.

“About us breaking rules together… only if it’s worth it.”

“Exactly,” he smiled, leaning in, “I knew they didn’t call you a riot girl for nothing.”

His lips connecting with yours like a puzzle piece, both your hearts fluttering as if they’d grown butterfly wings.

You felt like your world was spinning at twice its original speed, but at the same time, the moment felt still.

Niki tilted his head, deepening the kiss as he braced a hand at your waist, pulling you closer before finally letting go.

“I like you, ____. Like, a lot,” he confessed, taking in the dreamy expression displayed on your face.

Your mind went blank.

“Say something? Please,” he urged, taking your hands in his.

A smile wavered over your features as you kissed him back on the lips, feeling as though you both stopped breathing for a moment.

“I like you too, Niki. But isn’t this pretty risky?”

“You said so yourself, risks don’t count if it’s worth it,” he nearly whispered.

“Well,” you began, still holding onto him, “if we’re gonna do this, it has to stay between us… no one else can find out.”

And just like that, you were now secretly dating your roommate / coworker / Enhypen’s main dancer and maknae / one of K-pop’s most sought after It-Boy’s, all in a three days.

Great.

▶︎ ၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊| • • •

You and Niki made it back to you dorm rooms undetected. It seemed like everyone else was either too tired or too busy to notice that you two were out for so long.

Unlocking the door to as quietly as possible, you and Niki took light steps, trying not to disturb anyone or draw attention to yourselves.

Once the door was closed, you both bust out in a fit of laughter for reasons you didn’t understand nor cared to understand.

You didn’t need a reason laugh when Niki was around… it’s kind of just something that started to happen over the last couple days.

“What’s your secret to performing so well?” You asked him, both laying face-up on the lower bunk bed together.

“Hmm, I feel like nervousness is a strength. It pushes you to go forward in a sense…”

“Yeah… I get that. Sometimes, I feel like being calm is dangerous. It puts you in a safe space, when performing should be all about taking chances.”

“Right,” he agreed, resting a hand over his stomach, “Speaking of chances, they’re precious, you know? I never just assume I’ll get another opportunity to dance.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Like…” he sighed, trying to find the right words, “Every time I get on stage… in front of those lights… in front of my fans… I perform-”

“As if it’s your last…” you answered for him.

“Yeah, that,” he chuckled, running a hand through his hair, “You know, it’s really nice talking to someone who gets me… the dancer part of me.”

“Of course, it’s really nice talking to you, too, Niki,” you smiled softly.

Breaking the calmness of the moment, he sat up in his elbows, meeting your face.

“Top or bottom?” He asked, referring to where you wanted to sleep for the night.

You crawled over his body, climbing into the upper bunk of the bed and laying down to finally rest.

“Good night, number 11,” you teased, snuggling into the mattress.

“Rest well, number 1. Big day tomorrow.”

🎙️ For my baby, @microwvdstrawb3rri3s, I hope it was worth the wait ~ And yes, before you ask, there will be a second part 💕

⛦ Additional tags for my fellow Niki enthusiasts: @fanficfactoryfoxxx @nikisblkgf @yourmomscuntis2tighy @nikimeows @kimjiho1 @nikipedia07 @nishimuradaniel

🎙️ Feel free to check out more fun reads on the pinned post at my home page ~

@ashgonedash, I still felt bad about forgetting to tag you earlier 👑 so here you go, my love :3

Update: THANK YOU ALL SM FOR 400 NOTES!!

[dstryvampres]

Lab Assistant

MINORS/AGELESS BLOG DNI !

Pairing: Jonathan Crane x Reader

Warnings: smut LOL, dub con, pnv, unprotected sex, use of fear toxin on some dude, he smacks your ass like once

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: this is my first time writing just pure smut, sorry if the set up is super long.

For the past week your heater had been broken, and despite multiple calls to your landlord which always ended up with the promise that he would come over to fix it eventually, you were still freezing. Though you could escape the biting cold throughout the day by taking up a second home at your university, you always had to eventually come back to your shitty studio apartment and suffer through the night. You’re excess time spent on campus was well spent, studying in the library, napping under stairwells or in-between shelves in the library, stirring around coffee you didn’t even like but knew you have to drink to stay in the cafe, or staring longingly at your psychology professor Dr. Crane. The lack of any privacy throughout your day had started to get annoying after the first three days, not helped by the fact that because you saw Dr Crane more than you usually do, leading to you feeling more high strung. Gotham was not treating you kindly.

“Excuse me,” a voice called out quite loudly above you, forcing you out of your final exam induced coma. You gritted your teeth, knowing that you were likely overstaying your visit to the campus library, especially since you had just finished your last exam of the season, who knows how many hours ago.

Looking up you were met with the face of your favourite professor, Dr Crane. Another horrible coincidence, it was embarrassing for someone so put together and professional to find you so vulnerable, especially someone who you had in mind when your hand was shoved down your pants most nights. 

“The library is closing soon, I would recommend getting your stuff and heading out,” Dr Crane says, his voice oddly empathetic. A jarring contrast to the usual mix of hostility and boredom his voice held during lectures. He sighs and takes off his glasses, pinching his eyebrows together, seeming conflicted over what he wants to say next, so instead you fill the space with your own voice.

“Of course, I’m so sorry sir. I seemed to lose track of time, and was too exhausted to walk home. Again, I am so sorry. I should have set a timer or just maybe not sleep in the library, that was so-“

“You have been spending a weird amount of time on campus for the past week,” Dr Crane interjects, giving you a once over. “Is everything okay at home?”

The question was so genuine it made your brain short circuit. Why would he even care about you?

“Not really,” you laughed, the two words coming out of your mouth before you had time to think. A habit only recently picked up due to sleepless nights.

A smile crept over your professor's face, one that didn’t seem to reach the rest of his face. You couldn’t tell if it was from the shock of your honesty or something more sinister. He sat down in front of you, scratching his nose, letting a silence stretch out. Just long enough for pricks of discomfort to stir.

“Well, I’m running a program here at the university over the winter break. Just need an assistant to help me over at Arkham for an experiment I’m conducting. The job would include housing closer to Arkham, since it’s a little out of the city, and it pays about a dollar over the minimum wage. If you’re interested,” he slides a business card over the table, smile now dropped, “just email me in the next 48 hours.”

Taking the card eagerly between your fingers, mumbling a small ‘thank you’ under your breath before pocketing it. When you look up he’s already halfway gone. Packing up your things as fast as you can, you leave the library and hop on the train back to your shitty apartment. An email is sent to Dr Crane that night, and the following day you are confirmed as his assistant for this experiment the next day.

𝜗𝜚

The space provided for your three week stay was slightly better than your studio apartment, mostly because it had heating, but also because you shared a wall with Dr Crane. Besides the housing, the internship also came with an average pay, some work experience, and enough credits to compensate for one class. Your first week there had mostly been mundane tasks, taking notes outside of interrogation rooms while Dr Crane interviewed patients, making coffee for the two of you, making patient profiles, and making sure no one took any of Dr Crane’s “special medicine” for the experiment. Despite the easy work and the decent benefits, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something more sinister that Dr Crane wasn’t telling you about the experiment. With a thesis based around the concept of fears, you had yet to notice any great dive into the topic beside a few one-off questions.

“Before we start this week,” Dr Crane starts, sitting down in the chair opposite to you, “I want to just warn you that this is when the experiment starts to become a little more intense.”

He holds a coffee mug in his hand, as he talks the liquid sloshes around the cup. It's all information you already know, you signed an NDA, he trusts you, do what he says, and that he needs you to stay out of the room no matter what. Last week you learned just how Dr Crane enjoys his coffee, no milk and one sugar, you can’t understand how he can drink it. One sugar can’t mask the bitter taste. He drinks it quickly though, remembering the taste makes you gag.

“Before we begin today, can you prepare the variable today in syringes? I will be introducing it into the experimental group today.”

He sets down the now empty mug, a loud thump echoes through the room, startling you. Dr Crane smiles at your reaction, it’s the same one he always gives you, the one that doesn’t reach the rest of his face. You ignore the stone that has formed inside your stomach, picking up your clipboard and pen.

“I’ll meet you in room 283B,” your professor puts a hand on the small of your back, leading you both out of his office. A shock is sent through your body at the contact, once out of the room you turn to look at him, but his hand is gone and he’s headed in the opposite direction as you.

Something else that you have noticed throughout this week is just how close Dr Crane is now. He’s more touchy than you would pinpoint him as. Which isn’t saying much, but the small lingering touches he lays on you, a hand on your shoulder, maybe on the small of your back, doesn’t seem to be too professional. One… two… three millilitres of solution per syringe. The questions he asks also seem to be a little weird, especially due to the matter of the study. A common thread being his prying into your fears, and a look of hunger when he asks the questions. Soft thud of the storage container hitting the ‘chemical waste’ bin. Though you can’t really complain, this past week has given you enough content for your late nights to satisfy you for your whole university career, Masters program included. Laying out each of the syringes in a row on the tray, and counting them out. Three syringes on the top tray, six needles on the lower tray. Rolling the tray out of the room and over to the elevator to head up to the second floor.

You softly knock on the door, waiting for Dr Crane to open up the door to the observer section. The door opens in a matter of seconds, only a crack for a couple more seconds, before it is completely opened. 

“Thank you,” Dr Crane says, looking down at the tray of syringes. He takes one in his gloved hand, holds it up to the light and nods, a stamp of approval given to your handiwork. “Remember: that if anything goes wrong, do not enter the room, just call security, and take as detailed notes as possible on the patient’s behaviour and the levels on the monitor.”

You nod, taking a look at the monitor set up beside the one-way glass, all vitals seem to be steady at the moment. The door to the room holding the patient opens up and shuts quickly, Dr Crane slipping in and greeting the patient, thanking him for his time. The patient seems to be a middle aged man, scars run across his arms, roughed up from whatever he did before his time in Arkham, he’s bald and seems to be displeased with his situation. Still, when Dr Crane comes to insert the syringe into his arm he stays still and takes it. The opaque liquid disappears as Dr Crane pushes down on the syringe, removing it once all the liquid has entered into the man’s system. A ‘thank you’ is expressed by Dr Crane before he exits the room, syringe in hand. Once the door is locked, Crane disposes of the syringe in the toxic waste bin in the observer’s room.

“The solution will take about five minutes to kick in,” he says, looking at you and it’s now that you realise just how excited he seems to be. 

The heart rate on the monitor starts to speed up, taking your attention away from Crane, and noting it down.

“Are you sure you estimated the time correctly?” You ask hesitantly, not wanting to offend your professor.

“I did. No worries. Injections can do this to people.”

The next five minutes pass by slowly, Dr Crane behind your chair, his breath tickling your ear. It’s almost impossible to focus like this, you just want to do something about the growing wet spot in your pants. Screaming immediately breaks through the tension you were feeling, you look at the patient. His eyes are wide, his pupils expanded, and his heart rate reaches around 140 bpm. Alarm sets into your own heart, you didn’t expect this big of a reaction from the patient. Dr Crane nudges your shoulder, reminding you to start writing your observations.

11:06: patient’s heart rate reaches 140 bpm

11:07: patient starts uncontrollably screaming at seemingly nothing

Your continued scribbling of notes doesn’t seem to discourage Dr Crane from talking.

“I didn’t know it would be this effective. I’ve been waiting years for this to be approved and this is better than I could’ve ever expected.”

Nausea settled from the mix of pleading for mercy and screaming from the patient, and Dr Crane’s glee from his reactions. Unsure how you could continue on with doing this almost every single day for the two weeks. Writing soon became sloppy due to your own lightheadedness and nausea, every moment you begged someone to make this stop. It was too much. It stretched on for over fifteen minutes before the patient finally came back from whatever drug induced hallucination he was forced into, yet he was still crying. Wanting to distance yourself so far from this experiment, you place the clipboard down.

“Wonderful isn’t it?” Dr Crane asked you, placing a hand on your shoulder. Whatever response you thought you could muster was stuck in your throat, so instead you nodded. “I call it my ‘fear toxin.’”

Once his hand left your shoulder, you immediately stood up, head spinning so much that you stumbled right into Dr Crane.

“Are you okay? Did the ‘fear toxin’ effects startle you?” He asks, putting his hands on your shoulder to stabilise you, his voice bridges between mocking and actually concerned.

“I just need to go to the bathroom,” You squeeze out, stumbling into the hallway and waving goodbye.

Stumbling around, unable to find the bathroom, you slide down the wall of an empty hallway. Sitting on the floor and curling up into the fetal position. Nausea slipping out of you slowly, eyes closed, just wanting to forget about the whole experience. What substance could even make a man react so horribly? Why would anyone make that in the first place? What purpose could a substance like that even serve? How will this even help-

“There you are,” a voice comes from above you, Dr Crane. You open one eye up, becoming flustered at your unprofessionalism, and enraged at the sight of your cruel professor.

He kneels to your height, offering you his soulless smile. “I’m sorry if that startled you, but I thought you would be better than them. I thought you could fully see my vision, look past the gruesome bits and understand what I’m trying to do here.”

His words both enrage you even further and make you feel even more embarrassed. He created a horrible substance, tested out on a man that, from what you know, didn’t deserve it, and essentially tortured him. On the other hand, this is a man who you have dreamed about and only want to please. For the past three years, you have sat in his class and dreamed about only him. For him to think that only you could understand his plans and dreams, is a flattery you could only dream of.

“Maybe I just didn’t prepare you well enough for this. Can I make it up to you?” Dr Crane asks, offering his hand to you. It takes a couple seconds, but you take it and he leads you upwards. 

His hand is oddly cold, his grip on your own hand is firm, but not harsh. His skin is smooth. It’s embarrassing that he has to lead you out of this room, has to coax you to continue.

“Let’s go to my office, hm?” Quirking an eyebrow, but not waiting for a response he led you down the hallway.

Everything seemed to blur together for you, the trip to the elevator, down the elevator, and into his office. He clicks the door shut, locking it, then turns to you. Stepping forward until he’s cornered you onto his desk.

“You think I don’t hear you at night. Calling my name. The walls in that place are very thin,” Dr Crane whispers into your ear, his hand slithering up your thigh.

A gasp escapes your lips, both at the hand now dangerously close to the warmth growing in your pants, and also because you didn’t think he would be able to hear your late night pleasure sessions. Soon he’s cupping your sex and you moan into his ear softly, earning a hum from him. Finger wander up from your sex to cup your chin, he brings you into a kiss. It’s bruising and hungry, he’s biting at your lower lip and you swear you can taste your own blood. His fingers make quick work unbuttoning your pants, sliding them down your legs until they drop to pool around your ankle.

“You're so wet already, how interesting,” He teases, tracing a finger over your clothed slit. Moaning in response you chase after his lips, but he pulls away. 

Your underwear is pushed over to the side, and his middle and ring finger breach your entrance. A loud ‘oh’ comes from your mouth, crane presses his lips to yours again to silence you. His fingers move slowly in and out of you, he catches each moan you let out with his mouth. His lips are soft, but the kiss is rough, his fingers speed up. They stretch you out so nicely it stings a little bit. It’s been so long since someone else has pleasured you, at all.

His fingers pulled out of your sex slowly, deliberately. A painstaking motion that left you close to pleasureless as he pulled out of your kiss. Quickly flipping you around and pressing you into his desk, the shock between his warm body behind you and the cold desk pressed against your front sent you spiralling. There was shuffling behind you, before you felt him lineup his cock with your cunt.

“Beg for it.” 

Your mouth opens and you spew out a string of ‘please’s and ‘need it’ that seem to satisfy him enough for him to push inside of you. He’s girthier than you expected, but not as long as you expected, which is fine for you. The stretch makes you ache and he won’t be bruising your cervix. Without giving you a moment to adjust he starts to move in and out of you.

“You have to be quiet, okay?” He says, before picking up his speed.

He sets up a consistent speed, hitting a spot inside of you that makes you grip the edge of the desk so intensely that your knuckles are turning white. The desk creaks as he moves in and out of your cunt, his breathing speeds up, one hand twists into your hair pulling your head back and you can’t tell if it’s to ground himself or as a reminder for you not to be too loud. Another hand comes to smack your ass, it's a swift hit, but it makes your knees buckle. 

“You're so much better than I thought you would be,” Dr Crane strains out between grunts.

He presses his front to your back, the hand in your hair softening its grip but not leaving. His breath tickles the back of your ear, the grunting coming from him makes you bite your lip to suppress your moans so hard there will be an indent left there tomorrow.

“Dr Crane, can I cum? Please, I’ve been so good, please let me cum,” you babble, the side of your face pressed into his desk making your words slur a little bit.

“Cum for me,” he says, moving the hand not tangled in your hair to your clit. Pressing small circles into your clit, he starts to speed up. 

Soon the pressure in your stomach releases and it goes black for a couple seconds. You feel Dr Crane’s hand press into your mouth to silence you as your legs buckle. Once you’re conscious again, he has already pulled out of you and you can hear him zip up his pants. You stand on your shaking legs and follow suit, trying to press your hair down into a more professional shape.

“I would recommend you get cleaned up,” Dr Crane says, giving you a smile, “Was that enough motivation to continue aiding me in my experiment?” “Uh- Yes,” you answer, not fully aware of what you were even saying, too embarrassed and lightheaded to even compute anything he was saying besides ‘getting cleaned up.’

“Perfect. After you get cleaned up, please meet me in room 256B. We can meet again here tomorrow during our lunch break if you continue to need the motivation provided,” He pats you on the shoulder, and leaves you in the room alone.

[rogerswifesblog]

this is my first time asking for something, sorry if it’s wrong😭 can i please ask for “well this is awkward” drabble with bucky? from the bingo! with some smut and angst maybe? maybe on a mission and they get stuck somewhere together 😏

Pls i love this, thank you for this request! I hope you’ll like it!😋 let me know!

Sorry for not positing a lot, I’m incredibly busy😩

All drabbles will be posted with the tag “1 k followers special” just look for it on my blog:)

Getting close

Warnings: grinding, handjob (over clothes), ruined orgasm, implied sex

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

It was a chaotic mission from the beginning. Nothing went according to plan-first your gun, the the too many agents what weren’t supposed to be at the hydra base and in the end the whole builiging being in a lock down making you unable to leave.

You had to hide, which wasn’t as simple as you expected but I’m the end you two did the most cliché thing that you could think off.

You hid in a closet.

A small one to that.

Bucky was pressed right against your back, so close not even a piece of paper would fit between you two.

The worst part about it all was your crush on Bucky. Since he came into the compound you had already started liking him, he was shy and didn’t talk at first, but you had noticed the little things he did for others-for example whenever he was the first to wake, which considering his nightmares was very often, he prepared Clint’s and Tony’s pots of coffee, because they both often woke very early or in Tony’s case he didn’t sleep much at nights.

For Natasha he always left the first slice of bread since she loved the crispy slice. Sometimes he even took out the peanut butter and jam before she even could walk into the kitchen.

For Bruce he often left the loveseat for him to sit in, since he rather liked sitting alone instead on the couch with others-which Bucky also hated, but he rather sat with the others than make Bruce squish between Thor and and Steve.

For Steve he did so much you couldn’t begin to count it. He made smoothies for them both, prepared movies or other stuff they had to catch up on, he even cooked some meals they hadn’t in their time.

Bucky was a sweetheart.

Everyone knew it, but nobody said it out loud. He rather showed his grumpy face even though everyone knew he wasn’t actually that grumpy.

That’s why you liked him so much. You hoped he- “do you think they’re gone now?”, Buckys voice interrupted your train of thoughts and you looked back at him over your shoulder. He was so close you could feel his breath on your skin.

“Yeah-maybe, we should check, let me-oh…”, you tried to push the door open but it didn’t move a bit. You tried again, the same happened.

You moved a bit more, pushing and pulling at the door, making yourself press a bit closer to bucky. He gasped quietly, his hands immediately grabbing onto your hips, brushing up to your waist. “Could you stop moving so much?” He mumbled, his face blushing which you couldn’t see.

“It’s just-the door doesn’t open. I have to get it open somehow”, you mumbled, trying to pull the door open, making yourself lean into his chest, you ass grinding against Bucky's gun attached to his belt. He gasped quietly, trying to push you away from it. At least that’s that you thought.

“Bucky just take the gun out and nothing will happen”, you mumbled, leaning yourself a bit forceful into the door before once again pulling and leaning back into Bucky, his gun still poking you in your behind.

A gasp escaped his lips and he pressed himself further into the wall, even though he couldn’t get away from you.

“Well….this is awkward…but it’s not a gun”, he stuttered, his hand moving from your waist to his crotch, covering his hardness-which until now you thought was a gun.

Your face heated up at the realization and you didn’t know what to say, slowly looking over your shoulder at Bucky. He was red as a tomato, his gaze glued to the ceiling, his hands still covering his hard cock that was tenting his pants.

“You’re-?-“ “yep.” “And it’s because I gr-“ “yep.” “And-” “can we maybe stop the questioning and just, you know, get out of here?? Not make it even more awkward than it already is?”

You chuckled at Buckys words, nodding slowly. “It’s only awkward if you make it awkward”, you mumbled, feeling a weird tension slowly growing between you. Only a moment later you felt Buckys hand on your hips, his breath on your neck.

“Stop me if i'm misunderstanding it…”, he mumbled before his lips pressed to the side of your neck, kissing gently yet passionately. A quiet moan escaped your lips as he suckled at your skin, pushing his clothes cock into your behind, grinding slowly, soft moans leaving his lips at the movement.

You gasped quietly, slowly leaning back into Buckys embrace as his kisses become more passionate, your skin covered in small rosy marks.

“Kiss me…” you whispered, lifting your head. Bucky didn’t need to hear it twice before immediately pressing his lips to your, his arms wrapping tightly around you. For a second you pulled away, only to turn around as quick as possible and pressing your lips one more time onto his.

You both gasped loudly into the kiss as Bucky pulled you closer, rubbing his hardness against you. Your hands slowly brushed down to Bucky's pants, rubbing over his hardness.

The man moaned quietly against your lips, moving himself against your palm, grinding his palm harder in your hand. “Oh fuck-“, he whispered quietly, kissing your neck again and up to your ear, gently suckling at your earlobe.

His heartbeat was racing at his point, the feeling of you this close made him dizzy, the smell of your shampoo so intoxicating, the taste of your skin and lips addicting. He couldn’t get enough of you.

And you wanted more of him. You wanted to feel him, kiss him, devour him. “Buck-”, you gasped quietly when one of his hands found your butt and pressed you closer against his chest. His clothed cock feels huge against your body. God, you needed to feel him. You needed to feel him stretch your cunt so nicely. And if that’s not possible-you just wanted to have him in your palm. His warm skin, his release in your hand when he orgasms. You need it like a fish needs water.

“Fuck-feels so good-I’m gonna-I’m so close”, he moaned into your ear, making you want to touch him even more. You immediately started opening his belt.

But before you could open his pants Bucky pulled away, looking over your shoulder at the door, his face blank and in thought. “I hear steps-four people. Voices…men…Hydra”, he mumbled close to your ear, the movements of your hand immediately stilling. “What? Fuck-do you think they’ll find us-“ “shhh, shhh” Bucky shushed you, pressing his hand to your lips. His breath was still as quick and hard as yours, but he tried to calm himself down.

Which felt like torture.

He was so close to coming. So, so close.

His cock was throbbing painfully. Still hard as a rock, if not more than before. For a second his hips still moved against you, before he forced himself to stop, even if it was the hardest thing he had to do.

Just then a shadow fell onto the door and you could hear voices outside. It didn’t end there, only a second later someone pulled at the door, once, twice. “It’s locked, besides, who’d be this stupid to hide in a closed. It’s the first place people would look into. Come on, let’s get going, we have to find them”, said a man’s voice.

“Especially him. We don’t need the girl”, said the same voice again, stepping away again. You sighed out, a bit louder than intended, the steps stopping.

“You heard that too? It sounded like-” You felt your whole body tense as the shadow reappeared, once again pulling at the door. To get away from the door as far as possible you tried to push yourself closer to Bucky, with him wrapping his arms tightly around you. Just then you heard the lock slowly open- “We need to move, stop opposing over a closet or do you have something to share with us?” “Come on, I told you to stop-“ the voices got quieter as the steps slowly faded once again. This time you didn’t dare breathe.

“Maybe we should get outta here and finish at home what we started”, Bucky breathed into your ear, his half hard cock pressing once again against you. “I’d rather have my time with you…” His lips moving over your earlobe. “I have planned a few things for us…”

Thank you for reading!

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[nerdieforpedro]

Angel in Disguise

Javier Peña x plus size female reader

This fic and blog are for readers 18+ MDNI

Word Count: a little over 1k

Summary: It's raining and it reminds you of your recent interactions with your best friend Javier Peña.

Warnings: unrequited love, angst, one person you work for should not drive, slight self-esteem issues?, possessiveness

Notes: I haven't posted anything for Javier Peña for a long time. I'm glad I was able to write something. This is one of two for @undercoverpena 's April Showers Challenge.

Main Masterlist/ Javier Peña Masterlist/ Writing Challenges Masterlist

Leaning against your desk, you’re looking out at another rainy day. Thankful that you keep a pair of rain boots in your office and at home. You’re thinking of last month and last week, how you’ve lied to Javier and yourself. It’s for the best though. 

Large drops remain on the window as the sound of the water falling intensifies. Last month you had finally worked up the, well with a shot or two of liquid courage to tell him. Tell Javier Peña that “yeah, we’re friends Javi but I want more from you. Have wanted more from you. I could make you happy, because I know you. We know each other. I can give you something simple, a life together.” One of your favorite dresses, your deep violet one that had the open shoulders you liked. Pretty and not too sexy you felt, just right.

Nothing was right that night. He walked in with a woman you were pretty sure was at least ten years younger than him or maybe she had excellent skincare and always used sunscreen. His hand looked perfect on her waist and so did hers on his. He introduced her to you as his girlfriend of the last six months. You’d heard him mention someone but didn’t think it was the same person. Was she the one that had large mood swings? Javier would never admit it but you know he craves a bit of drama. Something you rarely have any of. Dinner was nice at the bar. She seemed nice. Neither of them stopped smiling nearly the entire night. 

The only silver lining is that you live on a lower floor than Javier so you don’t hear that. You’d go insane if you heard them doing that. You’ve heard the rumors and have gotten the sense (though given your feelings you could be biased. Highly doubtful,) that most of them are true.

That night you went home by yourself, threw off your dress and flopped across the bed. You weren’t sure if the rain came down first or your tears but you do know that you cried yourself to sleep and woke up cold. 

That was last month. Now they’ve been together for seven months.

This week at work you were legitimately busy given that the ambassador you work for has decided to drive drunk and hit a lamppost, damn idiot. Of course he wants to use his diplomatic immunity and the policia would like to make an example out of him. Negotiations are led by you as you represent the embassy. Javier was able to catch you one day, say hello, how are you and ask what you thought of Camilla. Her name is even pretty, like her. She was polite and complimented your dress that night. Nothing bad to say about the woman except she exists or is doing so next to Javi.

You lied right to your friend’s face and told him that you like her, she seemed very sweet, that you three should go out for drinks and that she’s beautiful. The last one wasn’t a lie, she was stunning. The rest of it you’re still unsure how you made it all drop from your mouth so easily. His eyes light up and Javier says something that is as honeyed as it is a stab, “I’m glad you like her. I was worried you might not and then I’d have to wonder if she’s really right for me. You’re the best ángel.” You think you smiled and gave him a hug before going back to dealing with the ambassador issue. It’s a blur. Getting back to your office and stopping yourself from yelling took priority over before getting back on the phone about this drunkard’s problem which is yours.

Finally into the next week, you’ve settled the dispute between the policia and the ambassador. He’s required to pay for the damage and a substantial amount of money to the city of Bogata with a suitable donation to the policía as well. You should have left a few hours ago, but then you might have run into Javier on your way out. You need to steady yourself before seeing him. ‘Just act like I did two months ago. It will be fine.’ That’s what you tell yourself but you know your body will betray you when you see him. You feel the melancholy and longing again. 

The gray skies match your mood. Subdued. Drippy. Unsettled. Foreboding. Closing your eyes, you feel them fall against your cheek again, the tears rolling down. Twisting your body to reach for the tissue box you now keep on your desk, you pat your eyes to see Javier Peña in the middle of your office.

“Hey amiga, qué paso? (friend, what’s up?) You’re crying.” It’s kind that he asks, Javier is always kind. Before you can tell him you’re fine, he’s got an arm around you and kisses your forehead. “What’s wrong?” You won’t tell him why, he’s happy and you know he deserves it. Given the small pieces of how he came to be at the embassy. Broad strokes and rumors are what you know. Javier doesn’t talk about his time in Columbia or pursuing the Cali cartel. When it’s mentioned his face hardens, letting people know to change the subject.

“Just a tough day today, that's all Javi. Thanks.” Your head leans against his chest, breathing in his scent. Keeping your hands around the tissue you’d been dabbing your eyes with. A thought you immediately regret enters your mind:

Could she be an angel in disguise and leave him broken on a rainy day such as this? Maybe Javier would be standing out in the rain? Could you take him against your chest like he’s doing with you now?

No. It wouldn’t be the same. Javier is being a sincere friend to you right now. You would have an ulterior motive. 

A few more tears fall across your cheeks as a gust of wind blows the rain loudly against your window. Even the sky is scolding you:

Leave that man be, you’re the angel in disguise. 

Peeps who want a hug from Javier 😭:

@guelyury @yorksgirl @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @javierpena-inatacvest

@theywhowriteandknowthings @goodwithcheese @maggiemayhemnj @readingiskeepingmegoing @bitchwitch1981

@harriedandharassed @bishtrouille @schnarfer @katw474 @megamindsecretlair

@tinytinymenace @magpiepills @pedroshotwifey

[daryascurse]

Chainsmoking His Love 14: The Fourteenth Kiss

Zeke Jaeger x Reader // follow #CHLZeke for updates // n.s.fw mdni

POV: second person, AFAB reader, feminine pronouns Chapter tags: seduction, nippIe play, fem receiving oraI, vaginaI fingerιng, finger sucking, praise, guided masturbatιon, sex, discussion of threesomes Chapter length: 3.1k

His movements are measured and slow, but his words are the frenzied, breathy weight of an alcoholic’s drunken ramble, as if each touch has been intoxicating him. Your hands, fallen away from his head, reach forward. You cup his jaw as he looks up at you. The curls of his beard are pressed soft against your palm. “Why do you want this?” you whisper. Zeke’s gaze is sharp through the tawny fall of his hair, eyes glittering in the low candlelight. “Because I want it for you. Because I want to see you feel good – the best.” His eyes stare through you. “Because I want to give you everything while we can.”

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If the time Zeke had been at the Mid-East War passed like a tempest, the days following his return were wrapped in the fair weather and languid waters of a gentle sea. He was busy, to be sure. Perhaps busier than before. The Warrior’s meeting chambers were closed the day after their return. Then the next, and the next again. If you were sweeping in the hallways or polishing the doorknobs, you would often pause to push your ear to the oak. Sometimes you could make out signs of life. A muffled timbre that sang like Pieck, a snarl that must come from Porco before Reiner’s soft thunder cut him off. If you were lucky and could linger long enough you could hear Zeke, his voice clear and low and ringing through them all.

Beautiful, clear-skied days.

He was spending the night now too, coming to your door somehow right before you were about to sleep the night after his return. Then the next, and the next again. But never in the morning, He stealing away in the dead, black cradle of dawn before the sun was born.

That didn’t matter. Because you still had the nights.

“Are you always going to be sleeping here now?” you ask, half-teasing as your finger traces through the coils of hair on his bare chest.

“I thought you wanted me to spend the night,” Zeke says. His voice rumbles with gravel into your hair, and he turns his head, offers a quick kiss behind your ear. “Was that a limited time welcome-home offer?”

He can’t see the giddy grin that flashes across your mouth as you tilt your chin down.

“No, no. You’re welcome here.”

You slide your leg over his, fitting decidedly into his body. You nestle into the crook of his arm, his hand stroking absently along the crescent of your thigh to your waist and back below your nightdress. Your bed is certainly not as large as his. And maybe that would be more comfortable.

“But,” you muse, “are you sure no one’s seen you in the morning? Should I – would it be better if we slept in your rooms?”

“You don’t even stir when I leave,” Zeke says. “No one starts their day as early as I do.”

You make a discontented sound. “Would you wake me up tomorrow then, please? At least to say goodbye.”

“I say goodbye. You’re just asleep,” he says, and his lips brush over your temple again. His fingers tap at your waist as if to assure. “Besides, I’m sure I can think of a better excuse than you could, if someone caught you sneaking so early from the Warriors quarters.”

“I can think on my feet,” you say.

“I know,” he says, and taps at your waist again. It tickles, and you squirm further into him choking back giggling breaths as he continues. “I trust you, I trust you. Can’t you trust me?”

“Of course,” you say, and lift your chin in a search for his gaze.

Zeke’s eyes are lidded and heavy. You lean back, neck exposed and lips beginning to part. He pauses a moment, reaches up to snatch his glasses to rest on your side table before acquiescing to your unspoken request.

His lips are soft, and so, so familiar. The days haven’t yet snatched your sense of wonder at how easily you had recognized his touch once you felt it again, once you tasted the salt of his skin and the curious curve of his tongue pressing into your open mouth. Zeke’s kiss slots in perfect rhythm on yours. A sigh escapes you.

“Mm?”

“What?”

Even with a few simple kisses, Zeke’s already, so subtly, shifted your positions. The hand at your waist anchors as he moves up, resting his weight on the other elbow. You toss your head back and narrow your eyes in a smile. “Nothing.”

Zeke’s eyes narrow like a playful narrow. His lips soon match.

“Tell me,” he says.

His hand slides to the small of your back and you’re resting on the pillows as he begins to kiss down your neck.

“No, nothing, just a little – silly – oh –” you say, and tighten your thigh muscles when he reaches your collarbone.

“Tell me.”

His thumb is at your ribcage. He strokes with the careful, caged urgency of clenched fingers. You stretch your leg, pointing your foot, stiff under the weight of his body bracing over you. You wish idly that he would just gather the nightdress under his hand into his fist and rip it high.

That’s where your mind should have gone. But something about it, something about this; the heat of his thigh on yours in the cool night, the bristle of his face on your delicate skin, the heaviness of his breath on the air –

Something about his body on yours and the way your thighs ache open for him makes you say it, as embarrassing as it tastes leaving your tongue.

“Just that – it feels right. Kissing you.”

Zeke’s eyes lift and he fixes his hooded gaze on yours.

You feel the warmth rise on your cheek and lift your fingers to your mouth. “Oh.”

“What?” Zeke asks, and you can’t decipher his tone. His shoulders rise over your chest, his knee between your legs.

“No,” you say with a nervous giggle.

He reaches forward, takes your hand with a gentle strength, and raises it to his lips.

“I don’t think kissing anyone else would feel so right,” you whisper.

Zeke kisses your fingers.

“No?”

You shake your head wordlessly, the burning on your face beginning to overpower. His kisses continue, turning to the inside of your wrist, down your arm until he can lower himself to your chest. His hand plucks idly at the dipping neckline of your nightdress. He peers up, through the shag of honey falling over his forehead.

“And when I kiss here, too?” Zeke murmurs, and his hand travels up to tug the strap rumpled over your shoulder down your arm. You arch your back to allow the fabric more slack, and Zeke tugs again. A stitch pops loose somewhere. When his fingers return to your neckline to tug again, your chest opens.

“Oh,” and his lips have descended again, gentle semi-circles of kisses until his tongue searches, licks, and his teeth close gently around your nipple. “O-ow!”

“Did that hurt?” Zeke asks idly. His breath almost tickles.

“Mm- n-”

“No?”

Your breath is already jagged, your abdomen muscles clenching as your whole body curls up to meet his touch. His lips surround you as he offers gentle kisses. Your fingers slide through his hair, pushing back at the temples. It encourages him. Soon his hand is cupping your other breast through the thin fabric of your nightdress, and he’s offering touches in tandem with his mouth.

“Ah -”

“That hurts? Feels good?”

“Yes, it – feels really good, Zeke.”

His name purrs from your mouth.

“Mmmm.” Zeke’s teeth close just as his fingers pinch your other nipple. You writhe below him and let out a light shriek of agonized delight. “Really good – I know.”

It feels like he could rub you raw straight through the fabric. It thins between his touch. Your skin flushes hot at his ministrations; cold at the lifting of his tongue.

“So wouldn’t,” – and he bites again –  “it feel better with another mouth to touch you like I do?”

Your fingers slack in his hair.

“Zeke. I don’t want -”

“You don’t want Porco, then you don’t want Porco. I said,” –  a kiss now to assuage, a gentle rub on his fingers that makes your nipple pebble beneath the nightgown – “another mouth. With me, touching you.”

His hand crawls down to find the rumpled hem of your nightdress.

“I don’t want to give you away or watch you. I want to keep touching you there, but I want to be able to touch you here…”

“Ah!”

“And I want to kiss your mouth. But I can’t do it myself, can I?”

Zeke’s moved down you, both hands firm and shoving the slump of fabric under your hips.

“So I want to give that to you. I just need some help.”

His movements are measured and slow, but his words are the frenzied, breathy weight of an alcoholic’s drunken ramble, as if each touch has been intoxicating him. Your hands, fallen away from his head, reach forward. You cup his jaw as he looks up at you. The curls of his beard are pressed soft against your palm.

“Why do you want this?” you whisper.

Zeke’s gaze is sharp through the tawny fall of his hair, eyes glittering in the low candlelight. “Because I want it for you. Because I want to see you feel good – the best.”

His eyes stare through you.

“Because I want to give you everything while we can.”

He lowers his face, letting your hands move – one to the back of his head, one on his shoulder, dappled with the shadows of freckles. His mouth is on you then, another gentle kiss to the velvet inside of your thigh. You squirm.

“I’ll show you. Touch yourself.”

“Zeke -”

“Put your hand,” he murmurs, kissing again, higher, teasing, “down on your cunt, and touch yourself.”

You draw your hand off his shoulder slowly and lower it.

“Let me see.”

Your breath almost squeaks out of you as your fingers hesitantly push, splay. Your thighs clench around the mass of his body between your legs, feeling almost too open.

“Good girl,” Zeke says, and he kisses you there. His tongue dances up, flicks at the edge of your own touch. You moan and begin to draw back, but Zeke’s hand clamps, firm on your wrist. He extends your finger and touches it to the pearl of your clit.

“Mmhmm,” he groans into you.

The fire leaps through you, burning and pulsing under his movement as he picks up pace. He angles his mouth around you. His hand lets you go, grips your thigh and anchors him down, but you keep doing it. You keep touching yourself as his tongue works around you. He runs his fingers along your folds, the dip of pressure and tension slack and then straining against your touch. When he breathes, it feels like your skin goes satin in the alternating heat and coolness. You gasp again and again every time he spreads you further in even miniscule motions.

“Good girl,” Zeke says again. “Suck.”

You lean forward against the pillows and take the finger he offers on your waiting tongue, tasting the traces of yourself before he withdraws to push his fingers into you. The touch is thick, the weight of maybe one, maybe two.

“I didn’t tell you to stop,” Zeke says. His breath almost hisses between his teeth. Your pushing has faltered without thought and you whine in your throat as you begin again in clumsy earnest.

The wetness that rushes forward at the tease of his fingers feels heavy, must feel heavier than real, because the sheets would be flooded. The small of your back is gathering sweat, the layers of blanket and nightdress pressed too hotly between your body and the mattress. You’re disheveled and panting with your hand plunged down between your thighs where Zeke laps and fingers at your cunt.

“­Fuck-”

Zeke lifts his head. His lips glisten.

“Your other hand.”

You know what he means, but he continues.

“Touch your breast.”

You lift your fingers. Your inner thigh aches, clenching, throbbing below his weight and aching to cross and close yourself in, to concentrate these sensations. There’s no trace of his saliva left where he kissed and gently bit at your nipple, but your skin is already sore from the touches. You pinch gently and your heart hammers faster at the heavy, needling shock that goes through you, so hot it’s almost cold.

“There,” Zeke breathes, and he half-steps, half-staggers off the bed to take off his trousers. Your knee rises in his absence, your head drooping back even as you try to fix your eyes on him in the darkness.

“Keep doing that.”

He’s stroking himself, gazing down his narrow nose at your artfully splayed form. Your lips part. Your eyes feel almost wild, focusing on him as your heart hammers below your touch.

“Ah,” you choke out. “ ‘S sore.”

“But does it feel good?”

“Yes,” you hear yourself say. The cooing of the admission almost unlocks another rushing sensation between your thighs and your knees jerk again.

“It feels really good, doesn’t it?”

Zeke’s voice is low and raspy. You whimper a sound of agreement as he cages over you. The blood in your veins begins to go hot and your heart is beating faster, faster, so fast that he must be able to hear it.

“It – does.”

His lips twitch in almost a smirk.

“Good girl. I want you to feel good.”

He’s inside you. You clench your teeth.

“That’s all I want – you to feel good.”

You can’t stand it, and you sigh his name in a breath almost like a song.

“Zeke –‘s so good -”

“That’s right, that’s right.”

You whimper.

He fucks you with a fervor, your hips canting up urgently in response to the hand sliding under your hips for leverage. Your thigh rises, muscle in a gentle strain to cross against him. He’s sinking deeper with each stroke. Your every muscle and limb aches to meet him, your hand sliding away in disobedience to grab at him and pull him closer. When he pushes deep, so deep it almost hurts, your fingernails bite at his shoulder.

“Oh, oh, oh!”

You wish you could scream. You understand, primally, for a moment – that if another hand, another tongue was touching you still, every shock of heat could continue, and you could still grab at Zeke and hold him close to you. You could cry at the teasing, taunting pleasure finally pushed through you and rolling through your bloodstream. And with each gentle shriek from your lungs, stifled as best as you can in thoughts of coherence coming half-formed and almost too late, it’s as if your calls speak to the desperation radiating from Zeke’s bones. He concentrates on you with grunts in your ear, sweat on his skin smearing on yours. He groans your name, the sound slurred and pleading.

“Fuck – ”

His hand clenches below your hip and pushes you higher into him.

“Oh, fuck!”

The ghosts of touches burn on your skin. Your pussy is swollen and flushed around his thickness, your breasts rubbing rawer half-clothed and brushing against his bare chest. You curl your fingers into his shoulder again and press at his arm.

“Mmmm – I – ”

“Hmm?”

“I’m – Zeke, I’m gonna -”

“Come for me, come. Come on my cock, you can do it.”

And he’s full in you as you feel it roar. It’s as if he stills, his arms columns of muscle on either side of you. His hair hangs down in front of his eyes and hides his expression, but his teeth are gritted with hot breath puffing between his lips.

“I’m, I’m, I’m coming -”

You are, coming hot and fast and throbbing. It’s as if the thickness and fullness itself was enough to send you over that sweet edge to release. Your fingers are bent and scrambling in awkward grasp. One hand is on his forearm, one on his bicep, and both pressing hard enough to almost draw blood if there was a risk you could hurt him. Zeke exhales again, firm and hot.

“Oh,” you moan, and Zeke’s begun thrusting again. It’s erratic and shakes you. Your grip slacks and the bed is shaking with the force of his chase. You moan again, his name and senseless sounds, again and again, until the sensitivity of his strokes becomes almost too much to bear. He comes then and the rush dances through you in a delicious heat, so good that your thighs clench and you almost, almost, come again.

It takes a moment to adjust yourself. You shiver and wipe him off your thighs with a towel as he pulls on undershorts. He comes back to the bed and helps your trembling limbs smooth the pillows and blanket. When you crawl in, nightgown falling innocently around your thighs and swimming in the sheets, Zeke tucks himself into the crook of your body and pulls you close with a hand over your waist. You can feel his heartbeat against your back, already calming and finding a steady pace.

“It felt good, touching yourself,” Zeke hums in your ear. It doesn’t sound like a question. You can’t lie in your response.

“It did,” you say, and can almost feel yourself blush. You turn your face into the pillow as if he could see in the dark. “You’re right, it did.”

You’re thinking of it again as he said it, and your hips sway against his thighs. The concept of no need to compromise, to have his touches and more and still clutch him to you. The abrupt tossing moves his hand but Zeke is not dissuaded by your acts of demureness. His finger traces along your arm, gently tugging up the strap of your nightdress that’s slipped in the motion. “Well, that’s all I want, is you to feel good. And I want to see you feel good.”

The word hangs in the air and you wait for him to continue, to spit out the sentences he’s clearly chewing on his tongue.

“If you don’t want it, I understand. I’m sorry about all the Porco mess, I really, really am. You know I am. So if you say no, in the morning, I won’t bring it up again. I just want to give you the world. I want you to know just how good it can feel. I want you to know what can feel right.”

Zeke’s voice croons. It’s soothing and speaks to the exhaustion in your trembling bones.

“Mmhm,” you say drowsily, your mouth still pressed to the pillow.

Your eyes are spinning closed. Sleep is calling to you quickly, and you think his last words are the beginning of a dream.

“I want to give you what I can while your world still stands.”

chapter 15

[deesseshesca]

Why am I emotional ?

And suddenly it was just me… FUCK it is just me. 

Good evening, pretty souls, today we are checking on your emotional scale. What is affecting you now, how can we fix it and how to minimize the damage in the process of doing so. 

ANNOUNCEMENT 

I will be giving full reading for a very affordable price (almost free) but there will only be 3 spots available. Stay posted on my blog, so you don’t miss this opportunity. 

Choose the image that’s speak to you and allow yourself to soak ONLY what’s reasoning with YOUR SITUATION 

Rules and Disclaimer 

I am the type of tarot reader to say as it is. Nothing is sugar coated but everything is send with good intention. If you are not ready to face some truth, you should vagabond somewhere else. 

TW: R@pe, S@cide

MINOR DON'T INTERACT WITH THIS POST 

MINOR DON’T READ THIS POST 

CHOOSE AN IMAGE

PILE 1

Two wands, Ace swords, Justice, Queen wands, ‘’Please unblock me … Yeah, that’s me calling you from an unknown number’’, ‘’ I have abandonment issues ! I grew up in a single parent household ! I had a rough childhood”

HEYY !!! Spiritual girly. I’m talking to earthy aesthetic girls. The one that smells like coco butter and vanilla walking around in a long skirt, crop top and too many jewels. When it comes to you, the cauldron told me about an opportunity that finally touches your hand. When I dive deeper into the message, I’m sensing something that took a lot of hard work and a lot of faith. For a long time it was just an idea in your mind for which you fought for it to materialize into the 3D. Congratulations babes ! A lot of obstacles came in the way but you stay resilient. That also was not easy since your faith was often tested in the meantime. I’m getting a new opportunity, a new career field opening, and the start of a new hobby/business. You finally have the time and funds to dive deep into a project. I’m hearing: ‘’I’ll be dammed if I let you fuck me up’’. At the moment, you feel a bit overwhelmed. Now that the gift is sitting on your porch, you don’t actually know how to approach it. What do you want VS what you need ? Your desires or your needs, first ? One is all about the action while the other path is all about trusting the process called ‘’life’’. A lot of people all of the sudden seem very worried about your actions. Acting like the decision you are making has a huge impact on their destiny. If I may, girl f them. If they paid attention earlier, they would have noticed you were not happy with your life . Now all of the sudden they care so much about what's happening to you. Like…Let’s be frl. You have to stand up for yourself. Whatever decision you make regarding that situation, you will NEED to voice it. Is insomnia keeping you up at night ? Well let’s start to implement some meditation before sleep. So you can be less in your head. Try to be more practical with your way of living. Rn I feel like you always looked like a baddie but it’s only recently that you actually felt like one.  Advice: Don’t slow down. Is easy now since you finally receive what you pray for, to relax and enjoy but it is only the beginning. Don’t try to accommodate or to one. Put yourself FIRST. 

Love 

The ex of your dude ( the fact that i did not choose a lover, sneaky link or even crush. Girl why are still holding on for. LOL. ) Is trying to get him back. And you really don’t give a damn. I feel like you don’t even want him. But he is stuck on you like glue. I think the thing that completely broke the bond between y'all is that he doesn't want you to be better. Like you announce him the good news and he knew you really wanted it. Now he wants you to let it go. BOY BYE ! BYEEEE! You don’t even hate him, you feel disgusted that he even thought his opinion mattered that much. Plus he keeps mentioning you change. Babe you did ! Don’t let him bully out of your shit. Now you are more sexually confident with yourself and bold with your boundaries. Him: You were more submissive back than. You: Now I have shit I care for. Advice: STAND ON BUSINESS. If he is block let him stay there. Yes, he is the unknown number that is trying to reach you. 

PILE 2

Hanged man, Moon, Ten pentacles (reverse), Tower, 1111, 777, ‘’I want a second chance ! Not being with you is killing me !’’ 

Heyy… pile 2, you are my TW pile. Before you get deeper in the reading just know it is completely fine for you to take another one especially if you are not ready to talk about it. To beginning , when I was channeling, I first sang a very happy song. Then a faint voice called for help. At that exact moment the card fell out. First let go of the struggle especially if you try everything and nothing is working. Take a moment to breathe. Is time to surrender to life and believe that it will actually bring you to a better place. Let go of the victim and become the warrior you needed from others. Start your healing journey, go to therapy, take your pills, do some journaling. I know when you are reading you probably smirk. I’m speaking with experience, babies. Is not going to change overnight. But as I am channeling, I'm picturing you in a very messy room with molding left over surrounding you.  I keep hearing ‘’ I was NEVER like this before’’. I know babies, I know how such experience can change you. You are FUCKING powerful. I’m not saying this because of trauma, that’s what I channel. You were always standing on your power and someone tried to knock you off your throne. One small change at a time, like cleaning your room once a week. Drinking one water bottle a day. Eating at least 3 times a day even if it is a snack is going to get you going. Right now, you must be feeling fucked up. Like he hurt you. He took away your spark,  why should you try to get it back. When such an event happens in people's life, it is re-birth. Is time to re-learn to live again. Choose your pace and take it day by day. Nobody truly heals from it, I can assure you that. But you can learn to live a thriving life despite it. Instead of going on the hunt for the old version of you, learn about this new you. Pay attention to your dreams, there is a message in them. Reflect on your inner voice. Don’ t allow others to dictate how you are supposed to heal even if what you feel right now is numbness. Stick to your guns since you are the only one that knows you best at the moment. A good opportunity or news is going to present itself in divine timing. You will be sitting in the right place and right moment. One of your wishes will come true. Something worth living will come out of this situation. There’s good luck heading your way. All wisdom gain from this journey would be very helpful to the community if you ever decide to share it one day. 

LOVE 

You are with someone that your friends and family don’t approve of. And the icing on the cake , you don’t like them either. You don’t want to be alone and you are too ‘’broken’’ for a healthy relationship so you are distracting yourself with that. Let me be the bearer of bad (good) news, this relationship will end. Your distraction will leave and reality will hit. One thing I see, they will play games in front of your face. They will even threaten to kill themself, just to keep you sucked in. Text them number phone for help online and move on. Don’t engage more than that. What is more fuck up, is that they keep you close just have sex with you. 

Song: Praying-Kei$ha

Loves classic English literature, read the bible just for fun, future witch

PILE 3 (18+) 

Lovers (reverse), Page Wands, Strength, Hanged man, ‘’I love your swag ! You are the whole package !’’,444

Hey…beyhives. I feel like, I’m only speaking to Beyonce stan at the moment. You guys are still bumping the country album of Queen B, like it came out yesterday. You guys are weirdly connected to my spiritual team because it feels like I was meant to read for you. Let’s get into it. People don’t realize how kinky you are, they know you are freaky. But nah… y’all are KINKY. You are a person that is aware of your sexual power and don't mind using it to your advantage. Your manners , your body, your sensuality, attract and please other people. You know what button to push. You are a very experienced  and sensual lover. Not shy at all, actually very confident. 

LOVE 

I feel like you are looking for a confirmation. Let me be. Your relationship has run it’s time. I don't even think y’all ever loved him. But he was the only one that allow you dual nature. I’m getting from the outside y’all are super cute, but in the bed a pure beast. You guy LOVE sex. You are scared that you are never going to find someone that will get you stamina without judging you by calling your names, especially if you identify as women. He cheated. Which made you extremely possessive and jealous. So you use sex to control him. I’m hearing: How DARE you think you can find better than me ! Advice : Start something new take a break from your love life and slowdown on sex for a minute. Usually if you have more sexual energy than usual it is because your body's calling you to create. Think about it: to create life we need to get nasty in the bedroom. Imma need you to get nasty in your career. Find something that is passionate about you  and go hard (ahahaha). Look at the bigger picture, you are way to focus on him. Feel the fear and do it anyway. You are fearful of rejection. That’s why you allow this man to take the best out of you. Find a new source of inspiration and shake off the blues. Right now contrary to what you might think, you are not sitting in your divine feminine energy. Since you are in such war mode, it is almost completely masculine. Plus, he doesn't care for you at ALL. But he does know that they will never be another woman like you.

Song: Haunted-Beyonce 

Platinum blond hair, very fair skin, very light blue eyes, luscious lips and round face. Face card is LETHAL. 

[countrymusiclover]

11 - He’s Finally Mine

Part 12

The Lion Knight and Dragon Princess

Tags- just send an ask to be added @cdragons @kmc1989 @starkleila @noirrose21-blog @lover-of-books-and-tea

Blinking my eyes opened slowly where I lifted my hand getting blinded by the sunlight coming through the thin curtain material.  Rolling over onto my side a smile graced my lips seeing Jaime sleeping beside me.  Raising my right hand I ran my fingers gently through his long blonde hair causing him to wake up. “Vaella?” 

“Sorry I wasn’t trying to wake you up.” I apologize drawing my hand back away from his head where he rolled over to face me. 

“It’s okay.  I haven’t been a heavy sleeper for years.  Not since I became a knight under your father anyways.” 

Resting my head against the palm of my left hand that was resting up on my pillow. “So how did you sleep last night after we made love again?” 

“I always sleep better than I ever do when I’m away from you.” 

I flashed him a cheerful smile climbing up into his lap and straddling his waist. “Is that your way of telling me you missed me?” 

“Possibly.” He clicked his tongue. 

I leaned forward closing the gap between us concreting our lips together for the very first time this morning after he had returned to me in the middle of the night. “I do rather enjoy an answer like that.” 

“Oh I see.” He smiled into the kiss, raising his left hand up to bring my head closer against his doing the best he could to keep the kiss going. 

"Jaime?" He hums against my lips so I break away from the kiss making him pout. "I - I love you." 

Jaime looked up to me before he smashed his lips to mine, grinning from ear to ear,  He pulled away barely to have his long locks fall on my face. His green eyes glowing. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear that. I - I’m just not good with words so I was afraid you’d think it was too soon." 

“I’m done waiting to let myself be happy with you.” I smiled, pulling his lips to mine once again and he didn't have us break for a long time.  Trying to catch my breath I labor out, resting my hands on his bare chest. "You know at this rate, we'll never get up.." 

Jaime shook his head playfully at me, leaning down to kiss me. "Who said it would be a bad thing, Vaella?" 

I replied in between kisses. "No one." Jaime deepened the kiss, making my heart race.

“Then I don’t see the problem.” 

 "But we should talk about the fact that I’m pregnant...I mean what are we going to name the boy or girl?” I broke away from his to rest my hands around his neck, his forehead against mine to catch our breaths. 

He doesn’t really answer my question. “We’ll figure it out later.” 

“You’re totally lying just so I’ll cave and we can have sex again.  You’re not as clever as you think when it comes to me sniffing you out.” 

Jaime chuckled with a sigh. "I’m not lying, I will help you with all that business later. But doesn't this sound tempting right now?" He started kissing me on my neck tickling me with his scruff and I nearly fell for it when he heard me moan but I pushed my hands against his chest. 

"Indeed it does - ah make love to me, Lannister." Jaime bends his head down laughing before rolling me onto my back smashing our lips back together with us getting entirely lost in the kiss. 

Ringing the water out of my hair I walked towards my bed. I had just gotten finished with my bath heading over to Jaime who was laying in my bed with some simple red and gold Lannister clothing. “I have been thinking about something recently.” 

“Yeah and what exactly does that mean?” He asked me seeing my light nightgown flowing around when I laid down beside him. 

“I’ve told you about how my house was formed.  But I’ve never heard the story of yours.” 

The golden knight lightly chuckled at me. “You want to hear about the Rock?” 

“Yes.” 

Jaime replied simply back to me. “Alright.  Let me see it starts with-“

“Wait, wait, wait.” I held up my hands, placing them over his mouth, snuggling down underneath his right arm laying my head on his chest. “Now tell me.” 

Jaime chuckled playfully down at me. “You’re ridiculous, princess Vaella.” 

“Regardless, I'm ready for you to tell me.” I stuck my tongue out looking up into his gaze then buried my head in the crook of his neck. 

His other arm draped over my chest where I gently held onto his right hand, listening to him starting to explain. "According to one legend my ancestor Clan the Clever swindled the castle from them. The most common story is that he found a hidden cleft in the rock and snuck into the castle. At night he whispered threats into sleeping ears. Howled in the darkness, planted one brother's treasure in the room of another and so forth." 

“Jaime! Ahh - finish the story.” 

Jaime shifted his weight moving to plant some kisses on my neck before he kept talking, getting to hear me giggle in his ear. "My brother prefers a different version. Clan the Clever did find a secret entrance into the castle. But used it to have his way with the Casterly maidens. Eventually the girls gave birth to golden haired bastards and the Casterlies had no choice but to accept their father into the family.  In gratitude he changed the family name and house Lannister was born." 

“Do you think one day I’ll get to be at the Rock with you?” I asked him intertwining my left hand with his right. 

He shrugged his shoulders giving a response. “If we’re lucky, yes.  I’d rather like for someone else than me to be fond of my home.” 

“Make me your wife and Lady of the Rock then there will be nothing to stand in our way.” I teased him with a smirk wrapping my arms around his neck moving to straddle his waist with him instantly kissing me back.  My dream of seeing the Rock had began to get slimmer and slimmer from that day onward. 

A few hours later I had gotten myself changed into a red handmaiden dress and my boots, finishing the tying of my laces by the time Jaime came out of the washroom.  Turning around on my heels I sent him a confused look tilting my head to the side. “What did you do to your hair?” 

“I cut it.” He answered. 

“Why?” 

He shrugged his shoulders. “It was far too long and was getting on my last nerve.” 

“I understand that.  I just thought you would tell me before you did it.” 

Jaime clicks his tongue. “What is this really about, Vaella?” 

“I love your longer hair.” I finally answered his question, nearly throwing the gold dress ribbon I had in my hands at the lion in front of me. 

Jaime chuckled, smirking at me when he crossed the room trapping me in his arms. “Awe my dear princess, I’m sorry.  If that’s one of the things you enjoy about having sex with me I wouldn’t have done it.” 

“How would you feel if I chopped my hair to look like a boy hmm?” I lightly pushed myself from his grasp beginning to tie the lace around my waist and into a knot behind my back putting my back to him until he tugged me back into his chest and spun me around to face him once again. 

“Please don’t ever do that.  You’re Targaryen hair is one of the things I love about you.” 

I tapped his nose with my index finger with a glare. “Then you now understand why I am so upset with you, Ser Lannister.” 

“I’ll grow it back out for you in time of course.” Jaime responded, his gaze pouring down into my purple eyes. He raised his left hand cradling my cheek in his palm and smiled when I leaned into it. “How about I make it up to you later tonight hmm.” 

Blinking my eyes I already knew where his mind was going and I had to admit my desire to be with him had grown since I had accepted that I was pregnant with his child. “And how would you make it up to me?” 

“Oh I’m quite certain you’d be very happy with what I have in mind.” Jaime twirled me underneath his left arm so my back was pressing to his front allowing him to whisper in my ear. 

He nuzzled his nose into the crook of my neck kissing there ever so slowly for my liking. “Jaime - don’t be a tease.” 

“I sort of have to, princess.  For I’ll know you’ll be just as bothered as I will be during Joffrey’s wedding.” Jaime pushed me forward exiting the room leaving me standing there all flustered and bothered by what he had just done. 

“You golden ass!” 

The wedding of the young Lannister bastard had gone pretty well even though the king had started forcing Tyrion to do ridiculous things.  Raising a cup to my lips I drank my water until I heard some people muttering in the King's direction where he had abandoned his food and appeared to be choking on whatever he had consumed.   I remained standing beside some of the other servants who were there to serve the royals.  So before my eyes I watched Joffrey begin grabbing for his throat and his wife cry. “He's choking!”

“Help the poor boy. Idiots, help your king.” Lady Tyrell shouted at the guards who were just standing around doing nothing. 

Jaime pushed his way through the crowds of people rushing over to his son. “Move away! Joffrey! Joffrey!”

Cersei pushed her son’s wife out of the way. “Help him! Someone help him!”

“Joffrey!” Jaime grabbed his shoulder rolling him over seeing he was foaming at the mouth now. 

“ Don't touch him!” She pushed Jaime away from her son seeing her son raising his finger pointing at Tyrion who had picked up the cup that was dropped. “Joffrey. Please, Joffrey. Joffrey, what is it?” 

“Oh my god.” I muttered under my breath, holding onto my mothers ring necklace while Joffrey began to turn purple and blood came from his eyes. 

Cersei began crying, touching his chest with Joffrey’s hand falling limp beside his body. “My son.”

A man announces. “He's gone. Our king is gone.”

“He did this. He poisoned my son, your king. Take him. Take him!” Cersei shouted at her younger brother before guards dragged him away to the dungeons.  All I could think was that Sansa Stark was finally free of him. 

[wordy-little-witch]

I feel like I’m getting annoying with all these agere asks but I’m in a weird headspace rn and so my favs now have to regress and be happy so I can sleep better and maybe someone else gets a kick outta it I dunno? Anyways

I still love the idea that Buggy’s regression is mostly unrelated to wanting to wear certain clothes or long for certain toys or even a specific kind of food or such, I like to think it’s very „No. aesthetic“ type of regression, where you probably couldn’t tell at first glance and it’s not as easy as just giving him kiddie stuff and he’ll be happy. (Not to knock on anyone who does like the aesthetics and kiddie stuff just to be clear.) so he actually doesn’t have a bunch of toys and plushies and such and doesn’t really ask for them either.

…. THAT BEING SAID

Buggy should most definitely have an absolutely gigantic plush Fruitwani. Massive thing. It’s almost as big as Crocodile himself and that’s not counting the tail. A complete impulse purchase by Crocodile as well, being separated from his husbands for a while, having to delay reuniting them for another two days because of unforeseen circumstances and some unfortunate encounters with some Marines. Talking on the Denden to both of them and learning Buggy has had some bad regression days behind him. He doesn’t even let himself slip fully, there’s still a part of him that knows why Crocodile isn’t back with them, so he tries to stay in a big headspace when talking to him, but inwardly Buggy just wants to cry badly and curl up into Mihawks arms all day because Croccy isn’t home and he doesn’t LIKE it when people aren’t with him for too long because they may never come back. It’s a mess. Crocodiles suffering, Mihawk is suffering and Buggy is absolutely miserable.

So when Crocodile spots the giant plush toy sitting in a store window, surrounded by smaller plushtoys, his mind is immediately made up. Yes that one. Just for decoration? Not for sale? Well it is now. No. No that can be arranged. No the price doesn’t matter, he will leave this island with this absolute beast of a plush toy no matter how many Beri he has to spend or who he’ll have to harm if that what it takes. He WILL have that toy.

Buggy still clings to Crocodile more than usual when he gets back, no plush could ever replace the connection he was craving…. But after he has settled down a bit more the plush actually becomes on of his favorite toys. Not even just when he’s regressed, he just loves this thing. Has spooked several people wanting to talk business with Crossguild coming into the room finding chairman Buggy lounging on, what appears to be, a full sized Fruitwani , it just looks that convincing at first glance. For Buggy it’s not only cool and flashy, it’s a very, literally, big reminder that Crocodile cares about him in his own way, even when on some days the most he’ll get from him is a good morning kiss and the rest of the day is filled with snark towards him until he bids him and Mihawk goodnight again. It just means a lot to him to know he’s loved even when he’s being vulnerable or difficult.

Also yes, Crocodile also loves this thing and Mihawk has been on the suffering end of him and Buggy spooning the damn thing at night while he goes woefully unembraced on his side of the bed „ah yes, just me, my fiances, and the eight foot tall Applewani plush one of them threatened a shop owner over.“

Olay lemme preface this with some things

1) you're not annoying at all, and if anyone says you are, I'll eat their knees

2) I get it - honestly posting content for Buggy specifically for age regression was nerve wracking bc like. Idek really. But giving things I experience to characters I love is so cathartic, and I've spent more than a few nights just.... daydreaming about stuff like that just to be happy and comfy and cozy. No judgement on this blog, of that I promise you ♡♡♡

3) agere is valid every and any way, aesthetic or not, visible or not, it's doesn't matter, only the ways people feel. If you're safe, happy, and not harming anyone, you're doing so perfect and I love you and am proud of you

Now with my soap box stuff done, HOLY HECK YES YES PLZ I LOVE THIS I ADORE I NEED IT, GODS YOUR MIND!!!!! (/pos)

Buggy isn't a typical person, head to toe, inside out, he's Flashy but also incredibly subtle. His regression isn't some cookie cutter type of deal, he's wild and slightly feral in some ways, he's unusual and perfect and precious. His idea of a good time is knife games, climbing (everything is sight, nothing is sacred), explosions, and playing poker. He has a special rope that's just for him to tie and play with ((and occasionally chew on, though Mihawk has a mild heart attack every time he sees it while Crocodile cringes into the next plane of existence in disgust)).

At a glance, not much changes, but Mihawk can feel the change in Haki, and Crocodile can see the microscopic things there when Buggy shifts. He holds things differently, stims more visibly, just seems bouncier and even more animated yet somehow much more calm. The best explanation comes from Buggy himself in describing the shifting between his headspaces. "Some things turn off and others pop on open."

The worst thing to Buggy in general is a perception of loss or abandonment. Logically, he knows it isn't the case, and he can cling to that mostly, but experience has taught him that distance does NOT, in fact, make hearts grow fonder - at least, not for him. The one and only time he felt it may have applied - and this is a very tentative maybe - was when he reunited with his crew, made into Alvida's image and her decisions. There was no war over crew nor ship, just an allowance to slip back in as if he'd never quite left. The only changes or acknowledgement was Alvida's slightly awkward, brusque, yet lingering touch to his arm when she gave it a squeeze and remarked that "handling these hoodlums solo is not my idea if a good time." He was needed, and that did wonders for his security but not so much for the mental health.

Crocodile and Mihawk don't need him - he's the face man, sure, and he's got a talent for manipulation, speeches, rallying men. But at the end of the day, they outshine him despite their proclivities for the shadows. It's a juxtaposition. It's safe. It's wonderful, and Buggy still struggles to trust in the reliability there.

Logically, he knows- Croc is out, managing something for work, he's coming back, he will be back, he's not alone or abandoned or suddenly useless and worthless.

But he still feels it all.

And falling into his headspace to decompress is always harder when he's upset or scared, it only really works when he boils over, and the meltdown that would lead to is counterproductive. So he's waffling between the two, assured only by the calls, by Mihawk, and the few other places he can get some semblance normalcy and security.

When Crocodile does come home, a comically large plush toy over his shoulder, Buggy's already practically vibrating and is completely beyond the point of words in a positive way. He just squeals, lunges and the cushion of sand catching his weight is warm and safe and cozy and he clings, a clown themed koala, right there without shame.

The plush doesn't come up until later.

When someone inevitably asks - and, interestingly enough, it is Mihawk who does - Croc is honest. "Thought the clown would like it for longer trios like this."

The toy is big, yes, and also decently heavy, moreso than even it's size may seem. It's partially weighted in the tummy, legs and jaw, a display piece more than a toy for playing with, and Buggy is absolutely obsessed. It's Croco-sized, and it's a 'wani, and it's soft and cute and heavy. He loves it.

His first order of business is immediately dropping down to scramble under it and just... going limp. He wriggles a little, humming softly before falling still, cheek squished into his forearms, hair a mess but he's smiling, he's relaxed, he's comfy and happy and safe and with his boyfriends' Haki on the edges if his muffled, fuzzy awareness, he truly unwinds for the first time in over a week.

Crocodile carefully tugs his hair from under the toy with his hook, and Mihawk hands him a little fidget toy or a rope.

The toy is named later on, as demanded by a tiny jester with a frankly lethal set of baby doll eyes and quivering lip. Really, he could topple nations with that face, the other two swear.

Mihawk simply has to make peace with Addie the Applewani Cuddle Buddy having a semi permanent spot in the bed.

[starfallchampion]

Alola! My name is Lucky, I’m a professional Pokémon trainer and retired Champion from, you guessed it, Alola! I’m Galarian by blood, but we moved when I was younger so my trainer journey formally began here. Yes, I am that Champion who dealt with the Ultra Beast crisis — I’m open to questions about it, so long as they’re not like “does it still keep you up at night?” Answer being yes, of course it does. In fact, if you have any questions about anything and everything battle-related, shoot them my way! Not only am I a seasoned trainer, I’ve also been travelling the world for quite some time now with my siblings, beaten a few gym circuits and given a couple evil teams what-for! I’ve seen people and Pokémon of all stripes from everywhere you can think of, so I like to think I’m pretty qualified!

If you’ve ever followed me and my journey as Alola’s Champion (fun fact: I was the first official champ in Alola!) you’ll know my strategy has evolved and changed a lot over the years. I can’t tell you what it actually is for obvious reasons, but you should know by now it’s super effective (lol). My ask box is always open, so please, ask away!

More information about me:

I started this blog at the suggestion of my partner! Partner as in romantic human partner, not my partner Pokémon lol. He and my siblings may post occasionally and if they do please do say hello!

I split my time between a lot of different regions for work reasons so I’m oftentimes extremely tired because of the jet leg on top of a sleep condition I have. For my physical issues I have a few Mons to support me that don’t battle, so they’re not very well-known in my ‘lore’ as some people call it.

Since I was a teenager and the Aether Foundation Incident happened I haven’t had very much privacy, so I’m very private about my life and my Pokémon outside of a battle context! I’ll probably still post about my non-battling Mons and my family + my partner, but not beyond what we’re up to generally.

My sister is studying very hard to be a Pokémon professor, so if she gets anything wrong, please don’t be afraid to correct her! Just be gentle, she’s still learning lol. My brother on the other hand will probably be reblogging a lot of Dark-type content, especially Umbreon stuff. As for my partner, he’s busy with work and me a lot of the time, so he’ll probably be a rare sighting on this blog!

Now, let’s meet the team shall we?

Neptune, a Primarina and my starter Pokémon! He’s a very loyal companion and loves getting everyone soaked in a stadium even when he’s not using his Z-Move. The best way I’ve ever seen him described is ‘a tank with a tail’ in a review of one of my matches.

Venus, a Sylveon with an axe to grind. He’s a bit of a diva but he’s extremely obedient in battles, so don’t be fooled by his attitude when you see him with me in interviews and such — he’s a sweetheart, he just doesn’t wanna admit it.

Bolt, an Alolan Raichu that is everything one would expect of his species lol. He’s a bit airheaded, one may even say he’s a klutz — but nothing and no one stands a chance against his megawatt smile!

Marian, a Ceruledge that has a strange knightley thing going on. I don't know when it started or what started it, but he's very chivalrous to all those around him, human or Pokémon! A relatively new addition to the team as he joined me while I was doing the Paldean gym circuit.

Bedsheet, a Mimikyu; there is a story behind her name. She made a disguise out of bedsheets and curtains the first night I had her. I was staying in a motel. Thankfully I managed to pay back the damages with all the wins she brought me. If I had to sum her up in a word: cheeky.

Tricky, a Golisopod that put me through the ringer as a Wimpod to catch her. She’s very sweet and loves to hang out by the beach. She’s a bit of a tank like Neptune, but she packs a punch too! She was my trump card for a while there.

Obviously as I’ve implied I have quite a few more buddies than this, but that’s my most frequent lineup as of now. For the rest you’ll just have to keep an eye on my battles. >_0

I think that’s everything! Thank you very much for reading and I look forward to every interaction we may have! :D

OOC INFO:

Hello hello!!! I’m Spooky, but I go by many names on my different blogs (Lovely, Cyril, Cerule, etc.) and likes and follows will come from my main @spookycrownblaze! Just want to knock a couple things out the way b4 I really begin with this blog!

First things first, no NSFW. Lucky and Grusha are adults but Lillie and Gladion are not. It’s not appropriate for this blog, nor am I comfortable with it.

I have no experience with any of the mail systems so I won’t make a call until I’ve had some experiences with them! So, tentatively, I’m accepting all kinds of mail for now.

Lucky is my self insert for the Pokémon world basically KSAKJLD he’s entirely based on my experiences playing the games!!! He wins 99.9% of his battles because all his Pokémon would be lvl100 + max friendship in the games as that is how I roll!!! If I don’t steam roll thru all my battles I am losing /j (oh and also I know nothing about the Pokémon anime so I’m working off game canon the majority of the time)

As you may have gathered by now, part of this blog is an established OC x canon relationship! If you don’t fuck with that, totally cool, please exit stage left. If you do, hey hi hello welcome! Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity a little! I’ve always known fandom to be pretty nasty about it, so it’s really refreshing to know some people are chill about it.

That said, I also work off my own canon, in which SM/USUM happened years ago and Lucky was the player character, except he was in his mid teens (15-16ish) and became a sort of older brother figure to Hau, Lillie and Gladion! It's kind of A Lot but to summarise: they saved Alola and all they got was this dumb shirt (intense PTSD), Lusamine is dead because of the Nihilego thing so Lucky functions as Lillie and Gladion's guardian as well as their older brother, Lucky has an extreme fear of Ultra Beasts and some physical scars from his battles with them but he kept a couple that proved they could behave themselves, being the oldest kid that emerged from the rubble of the Aether Foundation Incident Lucky is a bit of a celebrity for both good and bad reasons and Hau is the current Champion in Alola! He took over for Lucky when he retired a couple years ago and Lucky made him get a manager and assistant immediately after he took the position.

Lucky and Co. (Lillie and Gladion) mostly travel now! Along the way they just so happen to occasionally get roped into the plot of some other games. Lillie and Gladion do most of the talking, Lucky does most of the serious battling and gives any young trainers they meet advice. He also may or may not have beat up a few evil team grunts as opposed to battling them out of frustration.

Obviously don’t feel forced to interact with this blog if you don’t like any of the aspects of it or if you just don’t like the lore I personally work off for my character! I will not be hurt, I will not know — I get why. I am a slut for canon divergence and I love making fun overly powerful OCs with the cruellest nerfs I can think of. In Lucky’s case that’s just my sleep problems and Trauma™ JKDSJGLS

That is all!!! I feel like I yapped a little too much but I want anyone interested to have some context for this blog and its characters even if I feel So So Cringe laying it all out. Might post Lucky’s ref sheet at some point idk. My little eepy champion dude. THANK U FOR READING!!! ENJOY :D

[wintersportism]

Your reaction to this Sturla thing is bizarre. Those are real bullets and they can literally kill people. Do you want a situation similar to what happened with Alec Baldwin a couple of years ago? I guess poor Sturla's feelings are more important than safety.

I think it’s rather bizarre of you to anonymously go into my inbox and make an assumption about my feelings about this situation based on what? Two one-line posts I made because they showed Sturla crying in his interview?

Thank you so much for the reminder that bullets can kill people, I must’ve forgotten. In case you didn’t know (because you were too busy accusing people in their asks), luckily no one got hurt when Sturla made that mistake. They handled everything as well as they could’ve after a mistake like that, turning him in unprompted. Sturla obviously regrets and feels devastated about what happened, and then again, no one got hurt, which is why I felt like focusing on Sturla’s feelings.

Was it dangerous what he did? Yes. Does no one getting hurt make it okay in retrospect? Fuck no, something like that should not be happening to an athlete on this level. But humans make mistakes, so luckily BECAUSE no one got hurt AND they handled it well AND he regrets it deeply I can in good conscience make a damn post about how I’m sad that he’s sad.

It astounds me that you read my posts about Sturla and immediately assume that I’m stupid enough to not think of the consequences his actions could’ve had as if being his fan automatically rules out any kind of critical thinking skills. If it helps you sleep at night, I can assure you I would’ve been slightly less sympathetic had somebody gotten hurt.

But then again, what did you want me to do when he’s so obviously devastated by what he did? Condemn him for it? Cancel him? Stop being his fan? I don’t owe it to anyone to give real commentary about situations like this in my posts. And you assuming that I don’t give a shit about gun safety and fucking killing people is not only insulting but also disgusting.

So trust me, my “bizarre reaction” runs deeper than what you random anonymous coward see in my posts. Just because I don’t share all my thoughts on this godforsaken blog doesn’t mean I don’t have them. Thanks.

[agirlwithbigdreamsforher]

CHAPTER 14

THE NANNY: CHAPTER 14

Pairing: Andy Barber x Annie Johnson (OFC)

Summary: Working and single parenting is not easy. Andy needs to find a nanny for his son Jacob. Annie, an education degree student at Lasell University, comes to their lives just in time for the big changes in Andy’s life.

Warnings: None.

A/N: None.

Disclaimer: I do not give permission for any of my works to be copied, used, translated nor reposted anywhere else but here on this blog. Do not steal what you didn’t work for. Minors and ageless blank blogs don’t interact with me or my works. Reblogs and likes are always welcome. Thank you for reading this work of fiction.

Word count: 2596

GIF not mine, if its yours, please let me know to give you credit :)  

                                   ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

“Hey guys!” Annie said when she saw her friends in the screen of her laptop. “How is Mexico Mark?”

“Amazing! It would be better if you were here.”

“You’re such a liar!” Sharon said “You don’t miss us, I’m sure Steve is keeping busy,” She wiggled her eyebrows

“Oh, he is! Trust me! Keeping me full all night.”

“Alright, I love you, but I really don’t wanna know about your sex life.” Annie said and everyone laughed.

“Talking about sex life, how are things with Andy?” Mark asked.

“There is nothing going on with him.”

“Liar! Tell us everything.” Sharon said.

“There is nothing to tell you guys. I mean, yes we live together, but you know nothing has ever happened. We have seen each other in our underwear and…”

“Wow! What??? When did that happened and why didn’t we know about it?!” Sharon commented.

“The day after I moved, he forgot I was here and he showed up in the kitchen only in his boxers.”

“Please tell me he looks as yummy as I think he does without clothes on.” Mark said.

“He does” Annie giggled “and, he has tattoos on his chest.” There was a pause “Oh! And he saw one of my thongs!”

“Alright!” Sharon said, “Next time you should inform us of all of that, is not very friend of you to hide those things!”

“Ok, ok. There have been a couple of times that I’ve thought he would kissed me, but then he doesn’t, or when we watch TV he takes my hand, I’ve noticed he looks at me and then he looks away, nothing too serious.”

“Oh darling, it is serious. Maybe he is just shy.” Sharon said.

“Shy? Come on! Is very obvious he likes it rough in the bedroom!” Mark interfered “Perhaps he doesn’t know what to do, maybe he wants to give you some space due to what happen to you. Give him a push, if you really think he wants to kiss you then kiss him! You have nothing to lose.”

“Ammm yeah! If something goes wrong I can lose my job.”

“But if everything goes right, you’ll gain a hot successful daddy.” Sharon said.

“Why is everyone so interested in my love life? No one is asking Sharon if she is dating someone!”

“Ok, first of all, cuz we actually think Andy likes you and you deserve to be happy after what happened with Daniel and second, if you must know, I met someone on Tinder…”

“You should be careful with that.” Annie said.

“Yes, mom.” Sharon answered sarcastically. “As I was saying, he seems nice, we haven’t go out yet, but we plan to do it.”

“I agree with Annie, you should be careful. I have to go now. Keep me posted on what happens with you two. Love you.” Mark disconnected from the call.

“He seems happy.”

“Yeah, I’m glad he is happy.”

“So how is Andy?”

“Are we going on with that?”

“No, no. I ask because of the case he is working on, I saw him on TV.”

It was a Thursday and it’s been three weeks now since Annie moved in with the Barbers. Andy was loaded with work, a murder case under his wing. The media was covering the whole thing, everyone in Massachusetts knew who Andy Barber was now, the promising young ADA who was trying to put “The death angel”, as the media named him, behind bars.

“He is tired. He doesn’t say it but I notice, he hasn’t eat or sleep well in days. His birthday was last week and we couldn’t even celebrate it, we bought him a cake and sang happy birthday to him, but that was pretty much it, it was very sad to be honest.”

“Poor Andy, and how is Jake?”

“He is good, he is now next door playing with the neighbor. Andy hides what he is working on at the moment, which is good. Neither Jake nor I are allowed to go into his office, and trust me right at this moment I really don’t want to see what he has there.”

“I believe you. In another topic, I was thinking maybe we should go out tomorrow night, girl’s night, nothing too crazy, how about dinner?”

“Sure! I’ll see you at 6 at your place.”

“Perfect! See you tomorrow.”

Annie closed her laptop and went to the living room, turned the TV on and sat down. The news were on, showing the affected families with Andy behind them. Everyone were fighting over to have an interview with him, he had won the case. A life sentence for the man who murder those 5 poor young girls. Annie kept looking at him answering every question asked by the reporters, he looked exhausted, the bags under his eyes, his hallow cheeks, he was in a poorly state. She turned the TV off and went to the kitchen to start making lunch.

It probably had passed half an hour, Annie was making a turkey sandwich for lunch, when her phone went off, an unknown number in the screen, but she picked up anyways.

“Hello?”

“Hello gorgeous, how are you?” A man with, what she assumed, was his sexy voice answered on the other side.

“I’m good, who is this?”

“Oh! You don’t remember me! That’s bad cuz I certainly remember you.”

“Look if you have nothing better to do, bother somebody else with this type of calls ok?” Annie heard how the man struggle with someone else on the other side of the phone.

“That’s mine! Gimme my phone back!” the man yelled.

“Hey! Is this Annie?” another manly voice sounded.

“Yes, and you are?”

“Forgive my partner, he actually thinks is funny and sexy, I’m Anthony, Andy’s friend.”

“Oh! His poker friends! You’re detective Mackie right?”

“Yes, ma’am, look we were wondering if you are busy, we need you to come and pick Andy to the courthouse.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Ammm well, he is kind of catatonic, he is just in his office staring at a blank point in the wall and he is not talking.”

“I’m on my way.”

Annie grabbed her wallet and the car keys, she went to the neighbor’s house to tell Mrs. López she will be out for a while. She drove all the way to the courthouse, the police at the entrance asked her why she was there, made her go through a metal detector, gave her a pass and let her through and told her which way to go to find Andy’s office. She walked all the way there, until she saw the familiar face of a woman.

“Hi! I know you, I’m…”

“Andy’s “wife”. Stacy answered dryly, and the air quotes made Annie lift her eyebrow “What you want?”

“I’m here to pick him up.”

“Weird, he never said you were coming, and as far as I know he said he didn’t want to be disturbed.”

“Listen,” Annie said with no patience, “I am his wife, and I have every right to be here and go to his office!”

“No, you’re not.” Stacy answered back.

“Hey! You made it.” Anthony and Seb approach to Annie. “Come with us”.

“You can’t go in there!” Anthony, Seb and Annie ignored her “I don’t care if she is his wife or not, you can’t do that.”

Anthony and Seb looked at each other, and turned to Annie.

“What is she talking about?” Seb asked.

“Ammm long story short, one day that girl was flirting with Andy and he told her I was his wife to get her off his back.”

“Can’t blame him, she is quite noisy and annoying.”

Andy’s office was closed, the drapes were closed as well. They knock and receive no answer. Annie opened the door slowly, Andy was sitting on his chair, head down, and tie loose around his neck, his jacket hanging on the back of the chair. Neither of them dare to move, and then Seb pushed Annie inside.

“Hey!”

“Go on, we have tried everything.” Anthony said.

“Well, not everything. You didn’t want to use my plan of throwing water at him.” Seb interfered.

Annie kept looking at them, she could tell that Seb was the child of the pair. Annie turned and walked towards Andy who was still in the same spot. She kneeled next to his chair, her hand went to touch his cheek to make him look at her.

“Andy?” no answer “Baby…” Andy groaned when he listened the loving word. “Hey! Look at me.” Andy lifted his gaze to meet her eyes. His eyes were red and glossy, Annie had never seen him like this.

“I won.” Andy’s voice was barely a whisper.

“I know, I saw. I’m so proud of you!”

“Everyone is saying that.”

“But I mean it” She giggled “Come on, let’s get you home, so you can rest.”

“I’m exhausted.”

“I know, that’s why I’m here. Can you stand?” Andy nodded and did as he was told, Annie hold him by the waist as Andy put her arm around her shoulders. Anthony and Seb walked in to take Andy’s things and followed them out of the office to Annie’s car.

“Thank you for coming.” Anthony said while helping Andy to get in the car.

“Thank you for calling. He needs to sleep, he worked so hard on this.”

They said good bye and Annie drove back home. They walked to the door, Annie helped him with his stuff, and opened the door for him.

“Come on, big guy. You need a shower, food and rest.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“We’ll start with the shower then. Let’s go.”

Once in the room, Annie turned the shower on, the steam of the hot water filling the bathroom. She then came back to help Andy with his clothes until he was only in his boxers.

“Can you go from here?” Andy nodded at her question “Good, be right back. I’m making you a sandwich.”

Andy walked into the bathroom, took off his underwear and stepped in the shower. The hot water relaxing his muscles, the pressure he had been feeling for the past weeks was vanishing right at this moment. He took a deep breath, and started to wash his hair and body. After 15 minutes he came out, the bed looked incredible comfortable, or so he thought. He put a white shirt and some sweats, dried his hair as much as he could and went under the covers. His eyes felt heavy, the mattress felt like a marshmallow and his duvet was soft like a cloud. Annie walked in carrying a tray with two plates and two glasses with orange juice, Andy was dozing off with his back against the head board.

“Andy?” He opened his eyes, a sleepy smile on his lips “I brought you something to eat.”

“’M tired” He yawned “Later.”

“Ok” she smiled and put the tray on the vanity “Lay down. Jake is with the neighbors, he won’t wake you up.” she gave him a small kiss on his forehead. “I see you when you wake up.”

“Lay down with me, please.” At this point Andy was half asleep. Annie nodded, took off her shoes, and laid under the cover next to him. Her hand caressed his face and that’s all it took for Andy to fall in a deep sleep. No longer after Annie fell asleep too.

When Andy opened his yes, he was on his back, looking at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure how long he slept, but he felt better than before, rested at least. A warm feeling on his chest made him looked down, Annie’s hand was resting there, her hair all over the pillow; he took her hand and turned to see her. She looked so at peace, her eyelids were moving.

“What are you dreaming of?” Andy whispered and Annie mumbled in her sleep which cause Andy to giggle, making Annie to wake up. Her eyes fluttered open to find Andy staring at her.

“You talk in your sleep.” Andy said “it’s cute.” Annie groaned and covered her face “Is true, it is cute.”

“Did you rest?” Annie said moving her hands out of her face.

“Yes, thank you for picking me up. I just couldn’t drive.”

“Care to tell me what was going on in that head of yours?” Andy sighed.

“I think it was everything. The case, the evidence, the families, they counted on me, and for a moment while I was speaking to the jury I thought I’d lost. And all I could think of was what was I going to say to the parents of those girls.”

“But you did everything you could, and you succeeded! I saw how much time and effort you put into this, the sleepless nights…”

“You notice I wasn’t sleeping?”

“Your footsteps are heavy when you are tired, so you made noise walking down the stairs every night. I sneaked behind you a few times” She confessed “I saw you looking at the pictures you had in your office. Were they bad?”

“They were pictures of the murder scenes. So yes, they were bad. Every time I went to bed I kept seen those poor innocent girls, one of them looked so much like you. And just the thought of anyone hurting you, I just can’t…” his voice broke and his eyes filled with tears.

“Shhhh, I’m right here. Not going anywhere. Not any time soon at least.” Her hand went to the nape of his head caressing him gently.

“Did you mean what you said in my office? Are you proud of me?”

Annie smiled and gave him a peck on the lips; Andy was shook until a wide smile was on his face.

“Of course is true! I like you Andy. And I’m not saying it because you’re my boss. Actually I shouldn’t be saying it because of the same reason, but I do. I don’t know if you like me back, Jake says you do, god I’m trusting in what a 3 year old says and…”

Andy crashed his lips against her to shush her down, they smiled to each other and then kissed again, this time slower. Their lips touched each other, gently first, taking the time to explore every part of their lips and their mouths. Their tongues massaging one another and then they stopped. Andy took a deep breath.

“So you like me, like me?” Annie said all fluster after the kiss they shared.

“Yes!” Andy Laughed “I like you, like you.”

“Good, cuz I like you.”

“You already said that, but is good to know is true.”

“So,” Annie said touching his nose with hers “What now?”

“Wanna go out on a date with me?” Annie nodded eagerly at the question, and Andy kissed her back.

“Are you gonna be kissing me from now on?”

“Every fucking time I have the chance.” Annie Laughed “So, how about tomorrow?”

“Shit! I can’t, I promise Sharon we will have a girls’ night. But I’m free on Saturday, I just have to let my boss know I’m gonna be out for the night.”

“I’m sure he’ll say there won’t be a problem.”

Andy leaned in to kiss her again and then his stomach growled, making Annie laughed. She stood up and brought the tray to bed.

“I was planning to have lunch with you earlier. I can chance the juice for a beer.”

“This is fine.” Andy took his sandwich “Thank you, honey.” He kissed her cheek and bit his sandwich.

[enter-the-phantom]

Enter Writes A Blog - Oct 4, 2023

In Which I Get A New Job (Sort Of) and Meet the Dance Commander; Nearly Die of Queer Joy

A few life updates bc I’ve just been too tired to post regularly recently! Gonna start doing these since I’ve always admired people who keep little journals. Enjoy.

I got a new seasonal job a few weeks ago at a local theatre and costume shop, which sounds like it would be perfect for me but is…definitely not. The pay is abysmal, it’s $9 an hour with no benefits, and the job itself is so mind-numbingly monotonous that I’m actually depressed. There’s a lot going on and I don’t think I’m going to make it—I need a challenge and I can’t shut my brain off for eight hours a day with nothing to do. Not being able to think creatively and solve puzzles is really messing with my head. Plus the hours are really bad for me, getting up that early and getting home in the evening is really draining for someone with my circadian rhythm. It’s just not for me. As bad as I feel about it (bc I do like my coworkers!), I’m going to quit sometime in the coming weeks and focus on building up my Etsy and working on my art offerings. It won’t make money but it also won’t make me so depressed I can do nothing but sleep on my days off. I just can’t handle traditional work, it’s not good for my brain and my mental health and it’s affecting me physically too. I can’t risk another colitis scare and the stress just isn’t worth it.

On to better news that, if you know me, is gonna have you jumping for me bc everyone I’ve told is freaked.

If you know me you know by now that Electric Six is my soul band and means the world to me. You know what I’ve been through and how happy they make me. Finally got to see them in person on Friday night and it was a spiritual experience. I ended up not only against the stage, but the closest one to The Man himself. Nearly got hit with the mic stand boner multiple times. Eye contact happened. Moments happened. They were magical. He is magical. As I said to @mosshugs, there is truly nothing like the joy an aroace person feels for their squish. It’s the purest form of love there is and my god, do I love that man. Multiply it with the love a performer has for their muse and I’ve been emotional all week.

Every E6 experience I’ve ever had involved lovely strangers who became friends and this was no exception. We just all come together to watch a bunch of goofy guys play goofy songs and do goofy dances together. Met the most lovely family of Crazies with daughters me and my sister’s age, we hung out with them all night, kept an eye on each other and just in general had a great time making new friends! My new local friend is super sweet and we have a lot in common, so that’s really neat! Hoping to talk to her more if I don’t get super nervous about it bc she’s really cool. Also she was providing the strongest moral support when she saw just how close I was to Dick Valentine. Mad props for recognising I was having several moments. When he knelt down on that speaker and started rambling about Lyme Disease she had my back quite literally. Such a real one. Also sent me all her photos and vids bc I was too busy ascending to even remember my phone.

But my god, do I love the Crazies. Herb S Flavorings (who was a treat as always to watch) flicked us a pick, missed, it hit someone else and dropped to the floor. Everyone immediately stepped back and helped find it. Setlist got passed down to me by not one but two other people who saw just how much this concert meant to me and thought I should have it I guess? Also met up with some guys from the Facebook group as I was leaving who wanted to meet “the E6 artist” and demanded to know if I got the prints delivered—I love this dumb little fandom. Also The Flashy Jacket™ was a hit!

And of course the part ya’ll we’re waiting for—I got to meet my hero, Dick Valentine himself. Spotted him coming down from the green room to get his customary post-show amaretto sour and I asked if we could talk when he had a minute (mostly just wanted to deliver the art prints) and he was so immediately friendly and approachable. He had a few people coming up to say hi, and what really struck me was how careful he was to make sure I knew he hadn’t forgotten I wanted to talk to him. I’m sure he had no idea how much that truly meant to me—it’s such a little thing, just to have someone give you a reassuring look that you haven’t been forgotten or ignored and they’re going to make time—but for some people they never get that and it truly means the world. To get it from someone who does not know me, but who has gotten me through so much, was really incredible. I started tearing up and apologising for being emotional and he was so reassuring, reiterating that it had been a long night and it was okay to be emotional and he was glad he and his silly little band had done so much for me. Art was delivered, he loved it—and apparently John (and Da Ve??? I’m in on a secret I guess) are going to be back for the Detroit show or at least there, so he promised to deliver them then. My extra print of his was signed, and so was my setlist! Also I got a hug and some very cute photos. Just truly the sweetest, most down-to-earth gem of a man with the most shockingly calming presence. We all knew he was pretty special, all the guys are, but in person he’s really something else. Thank you again, Dick/Tyler (bc we love the persona but the man himself is just a good guy) and if you ever see this, I promise I’m not crazy and I’m not attempting to clone you in my basement—you just genuinely are my hero. Please don’t push yourself too hard on this tour; we all love you and want you to take care of yourself. ❤️

Anyway. If you read the end of this welcome back to our regularly scheduled nonsense on this blog. I’ll be doing a lot of social media stuff once I quit my job so I can get serious about building up my platforms and working on art and design stuff, so stay on the lookout for that! LOTS of art coming soon. Selfship and fandom friends, I have some amazing new stuff coming out, including some cool commission options you’ve never seen before. Also going to attempt this TikTok thing I guess.

Glad to be back and I missed you all! I hope my mental health will be better once I can focus on working creatively, the way I need to. Love you all! ❤️

[isabelasfriendfiction]

A Case of the Chills

Not me posting writing for the first time in 4 years?! I'd like to introduce you to some of the characters from my primary D&D campaign over the last few years. Finch is my tiefling arcane trickster rogue, Donahue is @brick-brooke's half-elf hexblade warlock, and Opal is another friend's dragonborn twilight cleric. More info on these characters can always be found on my main blog, @alistairweekend. The AO3 version of this includes art by Opal's player!

{ao3 link}

Finch was actually disappointed when her watch ended and she had to leave the soft warmth of the fire. After decades of living in a temperature-controlled palace and then several months in the tropical city of Kovali, adjusting to the temperate forest the Society for the Preservation of Fill found themselves in was proving a far larger problem than anticipated. Frankly, the situation baffled Finch. It wasn’t as if her clothing lacked, or there weren’t enough blankets, and by all accounts she ran warmer than most. Something about this forest just gave her the chills... literally.

As she exited the campfire’s embrace, Cricket landed on Finch’s shoulder and snuggled into the crook of her neck. “You cold too, buddy?” she murmured, reaching up to scratch the little faerie dragon’s head. Maybe she’d ask everyone in the morning how they were feeling.

She ducked into her tent and, taking care to avoid the two lumps that were Donahue and Opal, swiftly burrowed into the blankets of her spot in the middle. Cold. Of course. She gritted her teeth to try and prevent herself from shivering, holding on to the fact that the blankets should trap her body heat soon.

Minutes passed. And passed. Finch shifted, hoping finding a comfortable position would solve the issue, but she remained conscious. It was still just cold enough to be uncomfortable. Frustration bubbled in her chest.

At one point Finch heard rustling blankets as if in response to her movement. She stilled herself. “Donahue?” she whispered. “You up?”

No response. Finch let out an audible exhale through her nose. Then Cricket’s head poked out of the blankets, and he wriggled out to nimbly flit to the person on Finch’s left, an action rewarded with a grunt.

Finch rolled on to her side to face towards Donahue, who was nothing more than a mound of blankets with a faery dragon on top, nipping at the strands of blue hair sticking out. “So you are awake.”

“Maybe so,” he grumbled. “I’d like to not be, though.”

“Did I wake you up?”

He seemed to think about it. “...Yes.”

“Liar!” Finch hissed, propping herself up on an elbow and using her other arm to smack the blanket lump with her pillow. She immediately regretted the frigid air allowed to touch her skin at doing so, however, and gasped. “Gods, it’s fucking freezing. Are you cold?”

It was barely audible, but Finch made out a sigh from Donahue. “Yeah.” A moment passed, then he shifted to finally reveal his head. Cricket quietly trilled in delight and wasted no time in squeezing under the blankets, poking his head out right underneath Donahue’s chin. Donahue paid no mind and raised an eyebrow. “Wait, you’re cold?”

Finch pouted. “I know. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m starting to think it isn’t natural. It’s why I’m still up.”

Donahue’s demeanor seemed to sharpen into something more serious. “When was the last time you actually slept?”

“Technically, I don’t ‘sleep,’” Finch said, gesturing at her long elven ears.

Donahue scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Two can play at that. Neither do I.” He also waved a hand at his own tapered ears. “You know what I mean.”

Finch poked her tongue out at him but relented. “I was able to rest last night.”

“Ah. Lucky.”

“Oh? When did you last sleep?”

“Mind your own business.”

“Really? You’re gonna ask me and then say it’s none of my business to ask you the same thing, bitch?”

Donahue looked like he wanted to retort again, but his body betrayed him by making yawn, which he tried to stifle. “Ugh, fine. Two days ago.” Now that he said it, Finch did notice the dark circles under his eyes, even in the limited lighting. And he had seemed more tired than usual during the day, which was saying something.

“This is bad.” Finch put a hand to her face. “Especially if the others aren’t sleeping either. Though Opal seems fine...” She glanced to the right at their dragonborn companion, much more sprawled out than either of the blanket cocoons Finch and Donahue had made.

“Well, she’s a white dragonborn,” Donahue reasoned, “So she probably has way more resilience to cold than anyone else...”

“Mmmwha?” Opal suddenly mumbled drowsily, causing both Finch and Donahue to go wide-eyed and tense. Just as Finch was ready to believe she’d gone back to sleep, she spoke again, somewhat slurred: “You guys talkin’?”

“Sorry, Opal,” Donahue said, slightly above a whisper this time. “Go back to sleep. We’ll try to be quieter.”

Opal raised her head and rubbed her eyes, blinking a few times at them. The blonde fur tufts along her head and neck stuck out at wild angles. “You both aren’t sleeping?”

“Too cold,” Finch explained.

“That’s no good.” Opal’s brow furrowed as though thinking hard, though she was clearly still three-quarters asleep. “All right, everybody c’mere.”

Opal leaned forward, and suddenly blankets were being shifted and rearranged to the sounds of Finch and Donahue’s confusion and protest. When she was finished, all three of them were under the same pile of bedding. Finch found herself sandwiched between Opal and Donahue, not quite touching but still much closer than before, and she felt her face heat up. “I-Is this really necessary?”

“Warmer now, right?” Opal sounded entirely too pleased with herself. She stretched her neck out, which was just long enough to position her head right above Donahue’s. Cricket seemed thrilled by the new arrangement, settling in between Finch and Donahue’s shoulders.

Donahue had been incredibly tense, but slowly relaxed, if only a little. “Whatever. If it’ll help us sleep...”

“This is so embarrassing,” Finch groaned. “Nobody learns about this, got it?”

Donahue sighed and nodded, but Finch had more been asking Opal. Judging from the lack of response and steady breathing, however, she had already fallen back asleep. How did she do that so quickly?

Now Finch found herself worried about not sleeping for an entirely different reason. She had never shared a bed with anyone before, and was entirely too aware of both of her companions’ presences. She became acutely aware of the fact that any shifting she did could disturb them. But as the minutes ticked by, Opal was, to Finch’s chagrin, proven correct as the remaining chill faded away and her eyes fluttered shut.

[ahedderick]

I posted 1,308 times in 2022

That's 396 more posts than 2021!

716 posts created (55%)

592 posts reblogged (45%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ahedderick

@oma-goodness

@rederiswrites

@plantanarchy

I tagged 1,030 of my posts in 2022

Only 21% of my posts had no tags

#farmblr - 226 posts

#momblr - 120 posts

#artblr - 82 posts

#catblr - 72 posts

#gardenblr - 71 posts

#artists on tumblr - 64 posts

#harvest - 61 posts

#cats man - 58 posts

#gardening - 57 posts

#farm kitchen - 46 posts

Longest Tag: 68 characters

#reblog to wish op's data transfers smoothly from old computer to new

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

   My husband refuses to use the Oxford comma, and I think mixed marriages of this type should be banned. Also, I should be allowed one (1) homicide per decade. Yes, those two statements are related.

154 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

#4

  Bonfire Saturday Night

173 notes - Posted July 11, 2022

#3

   I’m training Baxter how to ‘farm cat’ by taking him with me when I’m working and letting him play. Yesterday’s outing was an hour of cutting brush in the woods up on the ridge. He was very happy and busy clawing his way up trees (about 4 feet high), running along logs and downed branches, and pouncing on fallen leaves. Chance, the border collie, kept a sharp eye on him. Chance will not accept that cats cannot be herded. When we got home the exhaustion of farming* caught up to him, and he napped hard.  

* Also he needs to grow into those big ol’ ears, and that’s hard work, too.

   Meadow, on the other hand, naps hard after absolutely no exertion whatsoever. She is. Pudding.

[ID: First photo is of a small black and white kitten sleeping in shrimp pose, with his front paws over his face. The second photo is a long-haired dark tabby curled up asleep on a cushion on a bureau.]

188 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

#2

Imagine

   Imagine you’re a human - five, ten, thirty thousand years ago.

Maybe your group has been gradually domesticating/being domesticated by the local wolves.

In your valley the wild cats are living closer to the human village, then inside the human village, then inside the graineries themselves.

One day you walk by a tolerant wolf bitch nursing a litter of puppies.

An unusually calm queen with a new litter of kittens. And you see

You see one of the pups

one of the kits

was born with a white strip up its face and little white front paws.

You lose your mesolithic neolithic shit

Every member of the group gets summoned, a few at a time.

They approach the bitch

the queen

cautiously and reverently

“Look at the little white paws! That little nose!”

You are now fully domesticated.

224 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

   Fire! The DNR folks who do prescribed burns showed up this afternoon to burn off a field. I always love that particular farm task; playing with fire is just fun and seeing the field grow lush and green afterwards is always rewarding. The fires encourage the growth of herbaceous plants and knock back encroaching woody shrubs or small trees - so this open area stays open. There will be So Many wildflowers here later on.

See the full post

239 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[iliveinabarbieworld]

Sleep. Blog. Watch And Repeat

I slept the whole day, and here I am again, awake at night because, of course, my body clock is still used to it. I feel better now, though I think my healing process is still ongoing. I don’t think I’m ready or strong enough to face the world just yet. I didn’t eat anything today because I wasn’t hungry—maybe because I ate a lot yesterday and didn’t move much today. My body probably knows I still have plenty of stored energy that’s unused. So tomorrow, I think I should apply for a job. Just doing something will keep my mind from freaking out over being unproductive. I’ll apply without any preparations, but I need to get a medical certificate tomorrow so I can file for sick leave. I have to keep myself busy tomorrow, or I’ll blame myself for being too relaxed. I can relax once I’ve accomplished something. Resting isn’t in my program anymore. I need to get a good sleep tonight so I can wake up tomorrow with a good source of energy. But it’s too early to sleep, so while waiting for bedtime, I’ll watch Gilmore Girls because it calms my soul. I want to write a blog about the movie series I love soon. That would be fun and exciting! I miss watching The Bold Type. I need to relax my mind—that’s my preparation for tomorrow’s events that I’ll create so this main character, me, will have something to do.

I will face a lot of challenges tomorrow, and I’ll list them all down:

When I wake up, I’ll face the struggle of my will to live. Do I really need to move today, or will I just be reckless and let it all pass? It will be a tug-of-war between what I need to do and whether I actually need to do it.

What am I going to eat? I’ll probably be too lazy to change clothes to buy food outside. Maybe I’ll just buy something along the way.

What should I wear? Should I wear something formal or casual since I’ll be going to the hospital, meeting a doctor for a medical certificate, and then heading to an interview?

Should I bring my car? Probably not, because parking will be a hassle, driving will drain me, and it will be easier to use Angkas or public transportation.

Will I pass the interview without any preparation?

My mind isn’t working properly anymore. I’ll just watch a show until I feel sleepy again.