#I say this with love. Hes so interesting. What a mix of psychological problems

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

Really interesting quirk of toshiros is hes prone to splitting. eg saying hes always hated laios and threatening to kill him and then swinging to ill do anything to help u out of ur situation come to the east w me mwah and then almost throwing the bell away in anger and then going to gonna go back to hell to get my man laios out 🫡. And then going im so glad ur alive and what u did was wild and impressive to Have U Lost Ur Damn Mind. I initially thought it was just hanger but it goes beyond that huh…

Swinging between viewing maizuru as his teacher who he respects and he should defer to to wanting nothing to do with her bc shes overbearing n doesnt let him be independent and fucked his dad and apparently just hasnt resolved these two lines of thought in his head abt her for years to the point she cries when he lets her do stuff for him and says hes grateful for her.

Tries to share something important to him (his crush on falin) to hien which is a show of trust from him after years of drifting apart. Seems to have gotten mad she shared it to benichidori (who pretty much took his place as hiens bestie yeesh.) and proceeded to be distant w her again rather than going hey. That wasnt cool.

Goes between no expression to only expressing in the extremes like a metronome. Incredibly funny that he tries hard to be conscientious of other ppls feelings but seems to have no patience when ppl dont respond to his feelings the way he wants. U gotta communicate man. What an incredible mix of a terrible explicitly described as traumatic upbringing and just kinda being a spoiled brat.

[heinzpilsner]

Hmm, while there is a grain of truth in the popular zutarian take on "Southern Raiders" ("Aang is preachy and Zuko cares for Katara's feelings"), reading this episode as an evidence that Zuko is a right partner for Katara still doesn't sit quite well with me (and I'm a zutara trash, mind you!)

The problem with this ep in general is what it mixes too many complex topics together, and it becomes difficult to entangle the mess.

Basically, Aang was wrong talking in terms of "revenge" and "forgiveness" and "Jet" and "Appa" instead of "Katara's mental health", but he was right in his general concern. Hatred is not some precious right a person needs to hold on. It's a destructive feeling which is better to manage adequately for the sake of a person's own well-being.

But wait, someone may ask, isn't that exactly what Zuko was offering? To help Katara manage her hatred?

Well, yes and no. Yes, he was trying. No, this wasn't a good way to achieve it.

What many people don't seem to understand is that you don't need to confront the actual physical person you hate to deal with your hatred. Quite the opposite, actually. It's the person's imprint within your psyche what keeps destroying you from inside, and facing the person himself doesn't dissipate this imprint magically. It will only make things worse (*the only exception is when the both sides are genuinely interested in fixing things between them). You need to work with the imprint, and it's much easier to achieve when an object of your hatred is physically distant. No matter what kind of person you are, or what your moral/religious beliefs are, this is universal.

(It's a complex psychological topic I'm not really an expert on, so I'm not gonna go into much detail here. I'll just say what therapists have their ways to work with it).

I suspect Aang intuitively realized the problem, but with him being a 12-year-old monk and not having the needed skills or categorical apparatus, "forgiveness" was the best approximation to a right solution he could think of (I have no way of proving it though, so take it with a grain of salt as well as this whole post in general, lol).

While some idealization (and a lot of preaching) on Aang's part may have taken place, he saw "Katara's inner darkness" for what it was - a self-destructive tendency. She may think confronting Yon Rha is what she needs (although before Zuko introduced the idea, she didn't even think of the possibility), but it wouldn't be good for her. Sometimes, your loved ones are not right. Sometimes, they're about to hurt themselves. And it's not disrespectful to try and dissuade them from this (You'd think post-redemption Zuko of all people would agree with the sentiment).

Now, Zuko. While it's not his fault by any means I'm looking at you royal family, the way he dealt with the problem wasn't exactly the healthiest (or most selfless, as some people insist). He meant well, but offered a wrong method, and held on this specific method because it was something he personally could help Katara with. "It's the same as doing nothing!" - these are the words that kinda gave him away. I suspect it's not Katara's revenge or justice he was so passionate about, but his own chance of action. He was desperate for it. He didn't even stop to listen to her brother's and best friend's perspective, because it was interfering with his opportunity to be helpful, to be on the same side as Katara. In general, when your partner is too eager to side with you against your loving family, it's not a good sign, even when the family isn't perfect. (Well, okay, Aang's spectacularly poor choice of words had something to do with it as well. And where were you, Sokka-with-the-beard, when you were most needed?)

No one really offered a better practical solution to Katara's problem than Zuko though, that's the sad truth. And to be fair, after Katara had agreed to his plan enthusiastically, where was no better option for him than to go with it, I guess.

But... The bar was so low that offering nothing in the first place would be a better solution than this, honestly. Because no matter what the actual script of the episode says, I don't think this "life-changing field trip" would realistically do much good for Katara and result in her forgiveness. I think it would only hurt her more and would add to her list of irrational reasons to hate Zuko.

It may hurt, but as Katara herself made clear, there was nothing Zuko really could do at this point to help her or earn her forgiveness. It was something out of his control. He had to accept this and keep trying to do the right thing, simple as that.

I'm still a zutara trash, but not thanks to their interaction in this episode, I have to conclude.

(I guess what I'm really saying is that all those kids just need their therapy, lol)

Still typing on my phone and ignoring tumblr notifications. I wonder If anyone reads this at all lol

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

Hello, I just found your blog and after going through a lot of your posts/asks I completely agree with most of your opinions on HOTD ss2. I also wanted to ask your thoughts on the characterization of Aemond and Aegon this season. With Aemond there were a lot of disappointments for me in how the writer treated his character. I know the two nude scenes caused a lot of mixed opinions, but in my opinion, they were completely unnecessary and didn't contribute much to character building. Like Alicent's 3 sex scenes, I feel like the showrunner is just taking advantage of Olivia/Ewan's popularity. Aemond has very few lines, does not interact with anyone in his family, and we hardly know what he thinks about the events taking place. He is removed from the narrative and we hear about how others think of him rather than knowing what he really thinks. Him becoming a villain left a bad taste in my mouth because of the way the writer stuffed it and forced us to swallow it instead of finding a way to build it up properly. It makes me, an Aemond and Ewan fan, feel sad for effort that Ewan has put in just to receive little screen time and bad writing for the character he cherishes so much. With Aegon, even though I'm not a fan, I found him very interesting right from season 1. And in this part, I think the writer has put in effort to compensate for what is considered to be worsening the character's image. Overall, Aegon in ss2 was received very well and he won the sympathy of the majority of viewers in the fandom. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts, ss2 disappointed me a lot and I have very little hope for the second half of the season, but I still look for reviews in the fandom because it's still a highlight for me after every episode.

Good day/night!

The way Aemond has been treated this season is awful indeed. Of all the Green characters he suffered the most (maybe along with Alicent) from the writers attempts (regrettably, successful ones) to divide TG and deprive them of common purpose and pretty much any affection for each other. The scraps of the latter we got (for example, those between Aegon and Helaena) might have gone unnoticed altogether for the majority of the viewers if not for the actors' interviews (and I doubt that many of GA folks have watched those anyway).

It seems that the writers decided to make Aemond into a "lone wolf", so to say: a person who, due to some kind of mix between arrogance and grievances suffered in the past, feels like he doesn't need anyone in this life because 1) everyone he searched love and compassion from failed him, 2) he is utterly confident in his ability to handle every problem that may arise on his own. I personally don't like the concept of Aemond being isolated from his family - but the main issue here IMO is not even the idea itself but the execution. While I'm not a fan of the brothel part either, I believe that those scenes could have fitted into his arc better - if not for the sloppy and neglectful manner in which this arc has been built. Skipping the important bits of Aemond's story (like reaction of his family members to Luke's death), making him indifferent to the murder of Jaehaerys and depriving him of the scenes that could have connected the different points of his emotional and psychological journey (mainly of the scenes with other Greens) - all of it makes it difficult to perceive the different sides his character is supposed to have.

Ultimately, as I see it, both Aemond and Alicent are treated by the show as tools for presenting the audience with the story of Westerosi feminism: the former - to uphold the image of "cruel men", the latter - to paint the image of a victim (who is also kind of responsible for her own suffering at the hands of men because she chose the wrong side).

As for Aegon, he's been the luckiest out of the Green characters storywise - but it doesn't mean that I'm satisfied with the show version of him. Dumbing him down, using him as a way to show how callous and cruel other Greens (specifically Aemond and Alicent) are - that's not the treatment I wanted for one of my favourite characters. I would even go as far as saying that if the Aegon we have seen in the show so far was the only Aegon I knew (without me having any knowledge of either source material or Tom's interviews or participating in fandom) he wouldn't be one of my favourite characters as I simply would have very little interest in him. Once again, in comparison with other Greens he's doing really well, but I can't help but feel that Aegon - and Tom - are also being used to create a character the audience can pity and to have a good shot at the Emmy campaign. And as soon as HBO guys get what they want (or if they don't get it), Aegon might be thrown under the bus just as easily as it already happened to Aemond after he attracted lots of attention to season 1.

To sum it up, the main issue of HotD is that HBO doesn't care for the characters and for the story: it cares for the hype, viewing numbers, reviews and awards. And with this kind of attitude it's difficult to expect any significant improvements in the quality of the show.

[zottower]

So I finished FF4 TaY,

3D phone version. I really have mixed feelings about it.

There are things I really enjoyed.

The game play is not too difficult, and can give some little challenges, in the 3D phone version I played the band option was fun and useful, the multiple playable characters can encourage strategy creativity. There's a cool moment when you need to search the world map for treasures and the next step of the adventure that I enjoyed a lot.

The main story with the mysterious girl was cool, there was a nice pacing, revelations and all. I liked Ceodore and Kain's relationship during the game (I like the conclusion a bit less thought), it turned out that Golbez is not my type of character but he's a fine one, and I really enjoyed Edge, Edward and Rydia's stories. I liked Polom, a bit less Palom's evolution.

The new characters are all fun and cool in my opinion. The team is a big (too big to be well developped thought ?) nice heartwarming family now. They have nice designs. Actually the art in general is colorful and pretty. There is still this very rudimentary use of the camera and the animations during the cutscenes that are sometimes really awkward, but it's forgivable.

My personnal problems are that I think I totally missed the point about the recurring theme of the father-child relationship (cultural problem ? lack of personal interest problem ?) and that I didn't like the psychologization of the darkness and light theme. As I said, I didn't like Dark Cecil, Dark Kain and insipid Rosa at all and unfortunately they are highlighted in the plot.

There are more objective problems about the writing of this story : the plot devices are unfortunately sometimes repetitive, laborious, the more obvious being the overuse of the "this unexpected chatacter arrives suddenly in this desperate battle to save your team" trope. It's of course a nod to this iconic moment in the original game when Rydia saves Cecil's team in the battle against Golbez, but now it's repeated over and over, and thougt it works very well in 2 or 3 cases, the other uses of this trope are too often emptied of the efficiency, the originality, the fun of it. I didn't like that.

There is also this double sided edged idea of "history is repeating". The intention is to make the gamer feel that it's the same universe, a familiar story, in one word : a real sequel that repeats what was loved in the original work. And sometimes this choice produces enjoyable variations with a familiar pattern turned into something fun with a nice twist, but sometimes it only results in dull repetitions. Also, this choice gives the annoying feeling that the characters didn't grow since the original story. All these trials for this ? I know that in real life, people tend to evolve slowly and repeat the same mistakes. But it's a story, it can't have this moral : what's exciting about adventure if you learn nothing from it ?

To put it in a nutshell, I felt like TaY was like some cake trying to use the same recipe as the previous, but because the fans said they liked this or this kind of ingredient, let's say candied fruits, there are now ten times more candied fruits, and some of this sweetmeat is savorless or even moldy. The cake is overall good, but some bites don't taste good. I don't want to play it again in the near future. Maybe in some monthes … But Yeah … That's my thoughts on this.

[the-trinket-witch]

Trinket's TWST OCs x Reader Headcanons

(I blame @thehollowwriter for inspiring this one XD)

These Headcanons are a mix of platonic/romantic, ignoring any 'canon' pairings they might already have (Lookin' at you, Al)

His love language is Acts of Service, so when he starts trying to do stuff for you? Keep an eye out. The problem is he's usually friendly to everyone so it's the subtleties to look out for.

To this point he's one to pine after someone. He hopes his actions might speak louder than words, so there might not be an outright 'I fancy you'. The only reason he actively pursued/told Azul outright was because subtlety can be easily dismissed by a guarded heart.

He will insist on public transit if going anywhere if a car is a viable option. Likewise he could come off as obnoxious when it comes to driver/passenger safety. Seatbelt before keys, music isn't too loud, put the phone down, etc.

Oddly, if you really want to know the biggest tell you are In With Him? The mask starts coming off. His chipper, stiff upper lip attitude gives way to a more calm, almost melancholy air. He's gotten comfortable enough with you to open up about certain things, things he hasn't so much 'lied' about so much as 'omitted details to let you make your own truth'.

For as much as they give airs of 'being more mature' than their peers, there's still a 16yr old there. If they start trying to show you some of their art/music tastes, that's def a path of at the very least friendship.

If you find yourselves having a good whinge over something to drink? You're DEFINITELY friends. Being a Prefect is difficult, they gotta let things out somtime and there's only so many suggestions of 'Just Burn them to a Crisp' from Grim that they can take.

If comes a crisis and they feel need to give Grim to YOU? Congrats you now have a relationship with a Prefect.

Ya boi is awkward. He's acutely aware of his size and strength so his attempts to make friends usually has him trying to seem as unimposing as possible. But if he can't, he'll content do just stand off to the side for you

He's not writing or drawing anything lewd, he swears! Catching him sketching you or writing observations is a bit of a tightrope. Either you can make him clam up about how much of a muse you are to him, or you can open the floodgates to more information about human culture (whether you're human or otherwise) that you would have any idea what to do with.

Dates may be sparse at first, as he'd want to go to a local cultural or holiday event with you. Him burying his nose in another journal isn't him ignoring you or his way to call you boring, he's just really invested in the atmosphere (and maybe observing how you're enjoying things to note for later)

Laz is kind of a flirt, so off the bat it'll be hard to tell if he's just being him or if there's anything more.

Like a lot of guys, if he's inviting you to band practice, it's to show off. 'Mira, any requests?'

He loves the idea of being on the road for shows, but deep down he wants someone who is willing to wait for him at homebase, cheering him on. He just needs to prove it's just his music and not his heart that likes to rove.

It should be first and foremost stated that no matter what he says, he has no interest in friends or romantic partners. Less people to share his success with.

However, one can find themselves more often at his side with a few points of navigation.

How gullible are you? How willing are you to ignore the progression in things he asks of you? How much do you need to see a therapist? How well connected are you? These are a few deciding factors in how close the Python will allow you to get.

Depending on what you can give him, he has the means to pull out quite a few stops. Gifts, travel, physical intimacy, it's all in the name of dividends.

Of course, when it comes to wits and intelligence, is where you can genuinely start to 'charm' him instead of the other way around. If you can out-psychology him or evade all his attempts to crack you, while also showing off what you know but aren't willing to divulge, will make him utterly writhe.

He's a king looking for a ruling partner (that isn't going to threaten his status)

Friendships (or 'alliances') are mutually beneficial. He knows just the right balance of give and take.

He can smell a gold-digger a mile off. It's happened enough times he knows all the steps. Because of how often younger folks tend to shoot their shot that way, he tends to go romantically for those 30+.

While he doesn't want a leech on his arm, he doesn't want someone overly codependent either. He's a busy man, so someone with hobbies and a general maturity of independence would be ideal.

Friendly gatherings tend to be part of public events, but he's a busy man so compile your stories into elevator pitches.

'Dates' on the same hand, are typically in those same spaces. hearkening back to a need for maturity, he isn't going to bring someone who's going to get him in the paper for all the wrong reasons.

[ENTRY REDACTED. CANDIDATE NOT AVAILABLE FOR ROMANCE]

TAGLIST: (lemme know if you want added/removed)

@ceruleancattail @squidwen @thecosmicjackalope @vaporvipermedia@writing-heiress

@oya-oya-okay @k-looking-glass-house @thehollowwriter @rainesol @cyn-write

@heartscrypt @honey-milk-depresso @br3adtoasty @jackiecronefield @ruggiethethuggie

@hoboyherewego @achy-boo @oreoskys @oseathepebble @oathofoaks

@tunabesimpin @hamstergal @fumikomiyasaki@valse-a-mille-temps

@hallowed-delights @kimikitti @plutos-hell @thetwstwildcard @atwstedstory

@comingyourlugubriousness @ice-cweam-sod4 @twst-the-night-away @nammanarin

[crosbyism]

Omg. Tell me about mash fic?? Please??

thanks for the ask, friend!! ♥️ :))))

OK SO, like a year ago i started getting super into mash (as in, the TV show from the seventies) and especially once i hit the later seasons and finished my first watch through (which took a while bc… yknow, 11 seasons, 24 eps per on average), i got super fascinated with mash’s relationship with canon and continuity. there’s a huge difference in minor canon facts between early and late seasons, which ends up summing up to a really fascinating difference in characterisation for most characters? and it’s actually deeply fascinating to look at those differences. on like a metatextual level, obvs those differences exist bc of the group character dynamics needing to be balanced out, the episodic nature of the show and the lack of obsession with canon continuity in tv shows before the 2000s (— if we can pretend we didn’t say that Margaret’s dad was dead and her mom was an alcoholic in season three, we can make them divorced instead and bring him around for an interesting episode in season 9 or 10, and also, who the fuck is going to care or fact check it—). but if you pick up the heavier “misery of war”/hawkeye’s mental break stuff going on in the later seasons and take all of the differences (and the fact that the korean war within the canon of the show takes waaaaay too fucking long, bc obvs it was a commentary about the vietnam war at the time) extremely literally, there’s this sort of interesting potential for a metafic there that plays with hawkeye’s psychological problems and the timeloop-esque nature of canon that really interested me. it’s not very long so far and mostly disjointed snippets, but i do love this idea a lot and would love to finish it up. some single excerpts from this wip i quite like:

It starts with Trapper leaving. No, that’s not right. Is it? No, it is— They’re at the airport bar; Hawkeye’s staring into the glass, and he looks back up, at— BJ. His bunkmate. No, that’s not right, not yet. He’s going to be, but they’re not there yet. He’s still Captain Hunnicutt, BJ comes later. Right now they’re at Kimpo airport, drinking and making merry and stealing a Jeep to get out of here. There it is, now Hawkeye’s got it the right way round again: this is the part right before Radar freaks out again, and then they take the Jeep, drunk all the way back to camp, and tomorrow morning Hawkeye will open his eyes and think to himself: Gee, it’s a wonder I didn’t drive right into a minefield. It starts with BJ Hunnicutt arriving. What are Hawkeye and Radar doing at Kimpo, anyway?

His colonel’s wife is called Mildred. No, it’s Lorraine. No, it is Mildred. Margaret’s father is dead and her mother drinks. No, he’s alive and they just got divorced. Margaret has a sister. Or does she? No, that’s Charles, and Hawkeye’s getting it all mixed up again— His best friend is a faithful husband. He’s a big cheater in an unhappy marriage. Peg’s going to hire a PI the second BJ’s back, Hawkeye laughed the other day when Trapper told him. Either way, he always loves his daughters. Daughter.  One of his tentmates is always from Boston. He just can’t remember whether he has a bald spot or not. Reality is up for grabs. Someone said that to Hawkeye once. Hawkeye thinks it might’ve been someone important. He can’t quite remember. It’s just all so confusing. Is Hawkeye dreaming again? He’d like to wake up, please. Any time now, he’ll open his eyes. He just hopes he’ll be awake when he does.

[finnoahsource]

I’m the theatre anon from before, so I’m gonna drop my thoughts here on Noah as I did on Finn, as someone asked!

Noah is an interesting actor because he really shines in the very dramatic roles, like what we saw in s2, where he was totally into his possession plot (the seizure and cabin scenes come to mind). Some people say he’s good at that “over-the-top” sort of stuff, but isn’t as good at the subtle, more grounded performances. Personally I disagree. I think it’s a matter of what material he’s given that allow him to have those moments, rather than his actual ability. We see in season 4, in the van scene and that scene with Jonathan at the pizza place, that he really nails subtlety too. He reminds me a bit of Sadie in that he is extremely good at acting with his eyes. I felt all his pain in the van scene, and the subtle changes in expression as Jonathan comforts him. Even when he recognises Brenner in the desert, you see this tiny glint of recognition in his eyes which was well done imo (depends on if you believe in scriptgate ofc, which I do 😌, and he definitely realised something there).

Just because those moments are smaller than in s2 doesn’t mean they’re less fantastic. Im hoping s5 can pull through with giving him great material like s2 coupled with smaller, more human moments so we can see his full range.

Overall, I feel like he can really let go when he’s acting (as opposed to becoming more self conscious), and is very good at communicating what he needs to in a scene. He seems quite intentional with his choices, and I think Will’s main character arc is in good hands.

(I haven’t seen Noah in anything else mind you, so this is just based on ST. He seems to lean more toward drama, but idk if he’s just as good in other genres).

yesss thanks so much for adding on 🤩 I really agree with you, like with finn, as unbiased as I can be - noah is still really great at what he does. the subtlety of the pizza store scene with jonathan is a great example! his eyes, the facial journey, his breaths always stuck out to me... he really is so incredible with his eyes I can't compliment him enough. intentional is a good word for his acting, I'd say consistent too, at least as will!

I think we're definitely going to get that mix of intense acting and grounded moments, hopefully the s1 tone + and s2 focus on his character, and even better!

since the topic came up in relation to "not as good as he's gotten older" there really aren't any projects to compare to except the tutor, which I have seen! personally, I think his acting was really good for the drama/thriller genre. he did the best with the script and production he had. what failed that project to me was the pacing, and directing imo (I might need a rewatch it's been a while, but I stand by the pacing problem)

likenoah's performance was great but good direction really can make you stronger, cinematography and your blocking can intensify or dull your performance, editing can hinder an actor's intent (and why I think the pacing of the editing being slower could've helped everyone in that film 😭), there were a bunch of factors for a smaller project that might play a part in people's opinion.

I'd really love to see him do a drama/psychological thriller like that again now that he's of age, he has less restrictions as an actor now!

[the-winters-prince]

That theory anon here again, thank you so much for your kind and supportive words everyone! So I don't personally subscribe to that theory anymore since as E Wein said herself it's up to the reader to decide, I can't believe Medraut is quite that messed up, and I have a tendency to overanalyze worst case scenarios. What got me ruminating was

How Medraut so easily slipped into being cruel from almost the get go after not seeing Lleu for years. As if it isn't the first time.

2. Medraut having mixed, confusing emotions for Lleu since the beginning and mentioning how beautiful he finds him.

3. That Medraut might have been SA'd from an early age, and so might have continued the cycle of abuse earlier too.

4. Lleu's great fear of being touched and falling asleep.

I'd love for these theories to be laid to rest though, I like my ships dark but not quite that dark. What do you people think?

Again, I apologize if I said anything offensive considering the dark topic, and I wish you all the best!

First of all thank you for your reply! I'm excited to chat with new readers. I still have your other ask, should I publish it too?

I actually went through a similar scenario in my head where Artos summoned Medraut to his court earlier and came to the conclusion that if Medraut had been bought home sooner he may have started to sexually abuse Lleu sooner, because unlike Medraut in twp this Medraut never spend a time outside the toxic influence of his parents where he could process his own csa trauma under the care of someone compassionate.

I personally don't subscribe to this theory because just as you said it would be too dark for Medraut to have sa'd Lleu when he was a preteen and it would be a crime too abominable to forgive. I also think that young Medraut may have been maladjusted because of various traumatic experiences, and exhibit signs of both physical and psychological damage that would not escape the keen sight of Ginerva and Artos. He has not perfected how to mask, blend in and appear normal to outsiders yet. Artos would see no use in keeping this Medraut alongside Lleu if he cannot assign a value to him. If Artos were to see Medraut displaying behavoural problems and decide he posed a threat to Lleu he would send him away immediately. I believe if you were to remove young Medraut from his mother and put him into a room with young Lleu right away without a familarization phrase where he could acclimate slowly to his family and become familiar with the way relatives are supposed to treat each other, he might lash out violently at him. He would punish Lleu how his mother punished him and his mother punished him for anything.

Lleu is so fragile and often ill, even a light shove or a sleeping with an open window could harm him. Lleu meeting Medraut who is used to a different level of violence and would misjudge how much roughousing his brother could take would have disastrous consequences. In an AU where Medraut grows up alongside Lleu, Ginerva would have to know about some of the abuse Medraut had endured and stand up for him if he hurt Lleu accidentally. She would feel too guilty to send Medraut away to live with that monster and would argue with Artos until he gives Medraut another chance. Medraut would learn how to hurt Lleu in ways that can't be detected by adults, but I don't know if he could get access to Lleu's room at night as guards are stationed everywhere and unlike the twins, the brothers wouldn't have been close enough that it would be acceptable for them to sleep in the same bed. Perhaps Medraut is considered so unimportant that he is basically invisible? Or people overestimate the power Artos gives him and don't say anything when he goes to restricted rooms of the castle with a serious face as if he had been given permission by the king?

I find that concept interesting in theory. I took Lleu's fear of being touched while unconscious as him subconsciously picking up on Medraut's true desire and fearing him, I've never entertained the idea before that this fear actually had a foundation and was the result of an earlier trauma which he cannot recall as he was too young and not even conscious when it happened to him. Medraut wouldn't mention it in his own narration because he doesn't consider anything sexual that isn't sex as abuse just like how he isn't aware that Morgause had groomed him when he was a child. ("Godmother, I don't understand why I am made to desire you so.")

I agree with you. The entire passage when Medraut meets a newborn Lleu for the first time striking. You don't describe a baby as attractive. Call me insane, I fully believe that Medraut fell in love with Lleu when he was a baby. Or something close to love. He imprinted on him. He became obsessed with him. I hc that had Medraut grown up alongside Lleu (after Morgause), their relationship would have developed at the same speed as Ignacio and Antonio's from the Carnivorous Lamb.

Now as you mention it, Medraut admitting he has always envied Lleu's beauty as he is obviously lusting for his sick body, makes his connection from past to present more unsettling. Like nothing has changed. It's as if these feelings, this lust just as this envy towards Lleu were always present no matter how old Lleu was.

When I think of an AU where Medraut and Lleu grow up together I think of the quote from the incest diary:

[writing-for-life]

Thanks for the tag, @marlowe-zara This is actually a nice one, and I’ve got time (I always take the day after the Oscars off, I’m really that sad)…

*****************************************

Are you named after anyone? No, not that I know of. I use the name I nearly got as my writing pseud/pen-name though.

When was the last time you cried? Not a crier about a lot of stuff because my go-to-mechanism is to get on with it, for better or worse (so not saying that’s always a good thing). If I cry, it’s mostly when I’m proud of my kid, so rather happy tears than angry/sad ones. I know when I need to cry because of latter reasons though and can easily get the floodgates to open with art/music/films/books when I feel it’s safe for me to do so. That sounds… well-adjusted? Not 🤣

Do you have kids? One, primary age.

What sports do you play/have you played? Dance (professional performer). Knees, hips and back are fairly wrecked, so gentler stuff these days (mostly the right gym-stuff, Yoga and walking/running if my joints oblige). But do they count as “playing” sports?

Do you use sarcasm? Yes. Not always proud of it, so I try to limit it.

What is the first thing you notice about people? Their voice (occupational hazard, but also a kink 🤣). And the way they communicate in general, whether written or orally. That can mean many things—I like the occasional, well-placed swear-word, as an example. But most of all, I notice if people understand that words hold meaning, and if they use them well (again, in all sorts of ways).

What's your eye color? Some say blue, some say green. Very dark, whatever it may be (I have my own opinion, and I shall call it dark teal).

Scary movies or happy endings? Neither really. Not into scary movies, not the biggest fan of sappiness either. But it all depends. A good movie is a good movie and all that.

Any talents? I speak four languages fluently—is that a talent? All joking aside, I believe it’s all a mix between some natural aptitude, interest, support and commitment anyway, so the idea of “talent” is always one that makes me scratch my head a bit. I’ve had people comment favourably on my singing, acting, writing and drawing. Plus that I’ve got good problem-solving skills?

Where were you born? Western Central Europe 😜

What are your hobbies? Reading, writing. And reading. And writing. I also like reading, and did I mention writing?…

Do you have any pets? Yes, a black cat called Morpheus. His name used to be something else entirely when he was a kitten, but especially my kid and I think his attitude is very Murphy. We’re really that pathetic, and so is he. He also has a little scar under his eye now, courtesy of a love interest that didn’t reciprocate his feelings (I wrote about it on here), so it is very… apt?

How tall are you? 1.80m/5’11 My back and joints thank me every day.

Favorite subject in school? Languages, hands down. Everything that relates to writing, reading, literature, drama. And music. I’d love to say art, but I’ve only ever had arsehole art teachers who ruined it for me. So that’s to say: It’s not just the subject. It’s also the people who see you, support you, want you to succeed.

I teach performance-psychology at University, so I like that, too 🙂

Dream job? Oh, that’s tricky. Usually the one I’m doing, but that doesn’t mean it’ll forever stay that way. I’m lucky enough to have basically three degrees (the first one a science/music double major, the second in psychology), and I loved working in all three fields—until I didn’t. And if I didn’t, I stopped. It was hard every time, both financially and emotionally, but I’ve come to the conclusion that my gut usually lets me know when it’s time to move on, and that it’s advisable to listen. At the moment, I split up my time between writing professionally, seeing therapy clients roughly 2 days a week and having a teaching gig. My brain likes the variety and needs it, and for the time being, that’s my happy place.

I see the usual suspects have already been tagged, so I’m going to mix it up (no pressure though if this stuff isn’t your thing) and send this into the direction of @morpheusbaby3 @duckland @dxliriumoftheendless @stellerssong @bobbole

[annabell505]

The Monster: Jeffrey Dahmer

Part 1.

«It would be great if someone would tell me why I did all this. What was the reason for this; because I don't have a suitable answer.» — The words of serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer

Once upon a time, an obstetrician carried out a healthy boy in her arms: he was rosy-cheeked, plump and screaming painfully loudly. Joyce, the mother of the firstborn, was unenthusiastic about the appearance of little Jeffrey, however, this condition can be called depression, which has been following the girl for a long time. 

— Oh, — she sighed from the thoughts that came flooding back, which corroded her dreams of a quiet life. The reaction to major changes in life can be any; both hysteria and depression are found in new mothers, regardless of the initial ideas or dreams of motherhood.

The reaction to major changes in life can be any; both hysteria and depression are found in new mothers, regardless of the initial ideas or dreams of motherhood. One can only guess how Joyce Flint grew up and what caused postpartum depression: was her condition complicated by the constant effects of morphine and various antidepressants on the body? Or the girl's addiction has nothing to do with this and the solution lies in other problems that tormented the soul of a young mother. But anyway, Jeffrey Dahmer was born on May 21, 1960 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Joyce kept a diary, dedicating notes to their son, she was amused by how quickly he develops, learns quickly, and how tenderly the boy treats all living beings, especially their pet turtle. But there were days when mom did not even want to touch Jeff, often she simply did not leave her room, and instead of breakfast she put a bottle of milk and cereal in front of her son for a quick and economical breakfast. 

-You always say idiotic things! -Another sarcastic comment from his mother, which Lionel Dahmer ignores and continues munching on his sandwich.

As for little Jeff, he's used to it; like his father, the boy with curly blond hair is silent, "used" to his mother's mood swings.

Joyce cries often, reacting vividly to perfectly ordinary things.

The joy of motherhood is mixed with depression and apathy, making little Jeffrey no longer understand the relationship between him and his mother.

Shuffling away from her every time Joyce reaches out to her son for a kiss.

-When I die, you'll have another child,‖ Jeffrey says calmly, recognizing that their family will soon be even bigger.

In general, he is not much interested in this, unlike on the TV screen.

Even then, the kid feels lonely, quietly contemplating his death, but everyone is too busy to notice.

No one sees the kid sitting through life behind the TV, clearly avoiding the oppressive reality.

Where indifference and perpetual quarrels reign.

For neighbors and strangers and passers-by, the Dummer family seems loving and exemplary, as on TV, no one thinks badly of them, until rumors about the woman's psychological problems spread through the city.

Jeffrey is shunned at school, for no reason other than his excessive shyness.

When Lionel comes to pick up the boy at school, the class teacher asks to have a discussion with the boy.

—What happened? Does he have a bad academic record? Do you need additional classes? The chemist is fussing, but the teacher interrupts him, assuring him that the boy does not need additional classes. — He doesn't have any friends at all. The second alarm bell, but Jeffrey's father does not perceive this as a problem, because the lack of friends is not as critical as the lack of knowledge and aspirations for them. Lionel thinks that over time, his son will socialize, it's just not the time yet.

He is proud of Jeff, because his son does not look like himself at all: he has perfect grades, but for some reason the guy does not hurry home to brag about it to his parents.

Why is he silent? 

The boy withdraws into himself, his childhood happiness, so simple and bright, is sucked out by routine and indifference. Being an excellent student, Dahmer does not feel like a "cool guy" because his classmates have completely different hobbies. He does not fit into the team, sitting out all the lessons at the last desk.

His love for animals is annoying, and the desire to save every creature, even by preserving its remains, is disgusting. But it is these bones that become his friends. He can spend time thinking while small bleached sticks rattle in his hands. Wild animals, numerous beetles pinned with a pin and dragonflies in a transparent jar — these are his friends.

Taxidermy draws Jeffrey into its chemical-smelling world, which undoubtedly pleases Lionel Sr. Maybe the son will be able to achieve success in the exact sciences. Maybe Jeffrey will become a great chemist or biologist. Being interested in something new is always great!

— Yes, that's it! Right! — The father supports his son's hand, slightly pressing on it with his own: — It is not difficult to open animals! Take the scalpel to the lower abdomen... Jeff often goes into the woods, walks along empty paths in search of dead animals, and sometimes this place becomes a haven for him, where he runs away in order to get himself back to normal. He calms down when he can be alone with himself, chopping wood with an axe.

Here, among the trees, in the forest, Jeffrey creates his own world where there is no swearing. No one here will call him strange, no one will laugh. Jeffrey relaxes in the woods, fantasizing about the same thing for a long time: a handsome young hitchhiker without a T-shirt asks for a ride home, but instead of home he chooses a Lady. They have fun, watch TV together, play cards, and most importantly, the guy doesn't judge Jeff, he loves him.

Time passed, but even during puberty, Dahmer does not see any changes in his son's behavior, it seems that he does not change at all: he still walks around the yard indifferently, looking for dead animals, enjoying solitude. Lionel, who realized the problem, is trying to attract his son to sports, to group classes, where the opportunity to find friends is higher and at first Jeffrey even agreed, but in the end he always stays away. His movements are always stiff, as if his arms and legs are made of wood. Jeffrey does not want to touch strangers, bouncing away from them at a safe distance for himself.

At the age of fourteen, many teenagers enter into their first relationships, are interested in the opposite sex, buy porn magazines, but Jeff seems to have never had this interest. In addition to the experiments conducted in Dad's garage, of course, and a huge TV. 

— Mm, how are you doing? Probably, you and your friends only discuss girls.…Their breasts and...

"Dad, I don't want to talk about it," the son calmly cuts off, starting to carve up the fish he just caught.

Everything had been out of control for a long time, but Lionel had only become aware of it now; the lack of friends, the lost and detached look. The eldest son is growing up a loner. He can't change anything, his son doesn't open up to him, and when the elder Dahmer still manages to get his son out for a walk or fishing, they are silent, only occasionally exchanging a couple of phrases on duty. 

Could it have been any other way? Did they talk about love? About compassion?

Jeffrey Dahmer has said many times that his parents have nothing to do with what he has become. But is it really so? That boy, being a gentle child with an unstable psyche and an open soul, needed love and support. He needed Mom and Dad. Then, when he became a man, when he went into the woods, when his peers made fun of him, and not when his parents suddenly realized, felt something.

Being a parent is the greatest responsibility. Being a parent is about feeling your child, talking to them, and accepting them. Jeffrey Dahmer, who respects his family so much, is an abandoned child. The cruel world swallowed him up, primarily because he was alone. He will spend the rest of his life in prison, swinging from side to side, from self-hatred to indifference, from fear of death to acceptance.

All I want to say is don't leave children alone with puberty, fears and insecurities. Don't be afraid to be a friend to your son or daughter, be afraid to lose him!

I believe that in love, we humans can solve many psychological problems that we have. The main thing is the support of loved ones.

I feel sorry for the families of the victims, I feel sorry for those who died at the hands of Dahmer. These deaths were useless, they will never be forgotten.

But along with them, along with those unfortunate men, I feel sorry for Jeffrey Dahmer — they didn't help him and he died, a good man died in him.

[fum1ku]

Hiii! I really liked your recent matchup requests and I'd love to get in the mix 🥹 (I also love that you're a fan of Daichi bc he's literally my fave and I don't see enough about him ANYWHERE!😭)

Hobbies/interests- I'm a huge sports girl! I played tennis competitively in high school and for a year in college. I started playing pickleball this year due to my shoulder injury (it's easier than tennis >.<). I also go to the gym regularly, play basketball, and dabble in volleyball when I get the chance :3 I LOVE arts and crafts! Something about the precision aspect of cutting things is pure bliss for me 🥹 I make my own thank you cards for people, cut photos, decorate photocard holders, and paint! Another thing I enjoy is reading :3 Although I don't get much time to do so, it's still something that always helps me relax and touch base with myself. I'm currently reading the JJK manga and Haikyuu (post-Dumpster Battle)! But my main genre is psychological thrillers/murder mysteries :3

Details about personality- I consider myself a very honest, compassionate, communicative, and responsible person. I say it how it is but I also consider the person's feelings immensely. I always consider what the person wants or needs during that time. If they want to rant, I'd gladly listen to them and create a safe space to do so. If they want advice, I'd gladly tell it to them straight. I also seek to understand people as much as possible, and as long as they're willing to share. I'm always trying to better myself and I take pride in getting therapy services every year since I'm not afraid to admit when I'm having a hard time in life. I allow therapy to guide me into moving forward in life, maturing, and learning more about how to take care of myself. On a less serious note, I'm also a pretty energetic person who LOVES to laugh and always embarrasses herself in public 🥲 all to the point where I rarely feel embarrassed because it's so normal for me LOL. I DEFINITELY, absolutely, positively see myself joining in with Bokuto when he says "HEY HEY HEEEY!!!" cheering is contagious for me 🥲 and you can definitely see me on the dance floor at celebrations rocking to some good music 😎 I also will be having High School Musical songs play at my future wedding 😌👌🏻

MBTI, zodiac, etc.- My MBTI is ENFJ! My Sun is in Virgo, Moon in Cancer, and Rising in Capricorn hehehe. Honorable mentions: my Venus (planet of love) is in Leo and my Mercury (communication) is in Libra! As for love languages, my main is words of affirmation, then it would be quality time! Gift giving/receiving is a strong third ☺️

Goals/ambitions/plans for the future- My goal is to become a physical therapist! :) I'll be going to grad school soon enough! I've always liked the idea of being a teacher but my heart belongs with being a physical therapist. However, I do plan to look into being a lecturer one day! Outside of school, I actually want to find a really good, solid husband to continue my life with ☺️ I've always pictured myself having a life partner, but ykw, it be slim pickin's out there LOL! 🥲 I've always wanted children, at least 3, but in this economy??? We'll see. 🥲 I appreciate the idea of being a mother someday. I consider adoption or surrogacy as a viable option because I'm afraid of any health problems I may run into if I were to get pregnant (I'm a bit susceptible to health conditions). But I am open to experiencing pregnancy at least once, just so I don't rule out any options ☝🏻 I'm a family girl, I'm a mom to all, what can I say :')

Likes/dislikes- I like bread. A lot. My favorite food is sandwiches because of the versatility :3 I LOVE chips, fave snack hehehe I'm also someone who always likes to try something new! Even if I go to the same place, I'll almost always try something new (unless I'm craving some comfort food hehe). I dabble in cooking :3 I'm trying to get better tho >.< But I thoroughly enjoy it regardless! I love watching movies!!! I even had an AMC movie subscription last summer and watched 32 movies in 3 months!!! My favorite genres are comedies, rom-coms, and horror/thriller! I also really like stickers 🥹 my current obsessions are deco stickers for my photocard holders and super cute anime stickers! I usually go to in-person events so I can support independent artists >.< They're literally the best! As for dislikes, I don't like rude people with a bad attitude. Working in healthcare, it occurs more often than I'd like, but even in the real world it seems like it really kills people to be kind 🥲

Age range- I'm 22 turning on 23 soon hehe I'd love to be matched up with any of the characters post-timeskip!

Physical description of self- Lil Asian girl with mid-length hair, which I mostly have tied up or in a bun >.< I'm 158cm (5'2) with an athletic build (but still got some stomach cushioning :3), toned arms and legs, nice 🍑 (??? my mom calls me JLo 🥲🥹). And I wear athleisure day to day and sophisticated clothing for special events! My long, black slit dress with my 4.5" heels is an outfit that can't be beat 👌🏻😤😌 ya girl got ✨duality✨

Type when it comes to dating/what you look for in a person- I'm looking for someone who WANTS to take care of me. After watching JJK and falling in love with Nanami, I definitely need a man who can take care of a strong woman (this includes Daichi too 😩). I'm completely capable of taking care of myself, I have my whole life, but I'd definitely appreciate someone who WANTS to support me, love me, cook for me, and take care of responsibilities when I'm overwhelmed. This goes both ways. I know I'm able to provide that to anyone I end up loving. Communication is huge for me as well. They need to be good at setting, voicing, and respecting boundaries. Respectful is a must 😌. Gentleman is much appreciated 😌. And someone who can also make me laugh! Bc at the end of the day, we all gotta laugh at something 😂😭 I would also love someone who creates a safe space for me to be myself and vulnerable. I want someone who's not afraid of emotions. I like to voice my concerns and I would hate it if I were with someone dismissive and unable to empathize with me. Someone who takes action- not just saying they will make adjustments but actually shows they're making those changes. Someone who seeks to understand. In turn, I'll do all of those for them to the best of my abilities <3

Anything else to include!- I'm the youngest of 3 girls! I graduated college early, not because I'm super smart but because I work really hard 🫡 A Disney princess I'm most similar to is Tiana! I also go to Disneyland a lot! I even went to Tokyo Disneyland and DisneySea this year!!! My favorite movie has GOT TO BE: White Chicks!!! I know too many lines from there hehehehe. Some fun facts: I can say the alphabet backwards in under 4 seconds :3, I was able to solve a rubrik's cube in a minute flat (I average around 1:25), and I can flip a cup with my butt 🍑👀

P.S. Thank you for doing this 🥹🥺 I mean it when I say I really love and appreciate your writing. Never stop with the Daichi content 😭✊🏻 brutha needs more love 🥺👑❤️ AND SO DO YOU!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👑

-> LAID-BACKCAMP’S MATCHUP

Hello!! I’m so SO glad you love & appreciate my writing. It means the absolute WORLD to me, so thank you 🤍

I also promise I will never stop writing Daichi content because I he’s one of my absolute favorites & I really believe he deserves more love as a character!

As for your matchup, I felt Daichi just checked off all the boxes. I did have a few others in mind, but he just immediately popped into my head while reading your matchup & it felt too perfect to not be him. I also think your extra fun facts are so funny—they had me laughing on my couch while writing your matchup!! I hope you enjoy and thank you so much for your request <3

[commenter2]

Exes and Oohs breakdown (spoilers)

Another Moxxie episode where we see his father AND ex-boyfriend.

This episode already gets points for coming out on the weekend, as a lot of people like myself didn’t like how the last episode aired during the work week.

Looks like Loona’s fat shaming/gas lighting is working, as Moxxie is now starting to believe it.

From time to time I have brought up the idea that Millie’s anger might be related to some kind of mental or psychological problem, and its moments like this that seem to hint/confirm it. It’s nice to see Moxxie being one of the things that can calm her down.

Looks like Moxxie and Millie aren’t the only people Blitzo likes to see doing it.

Heh it’s a Hell-icopter. Hey if Vivziepop can make the occasional cheesy joke in her videos then why can’t I, especially since I’ve already ignored several big ones of hers so far in the series.

Returning background characters. Well those kids are going to need therapy.

So this episode takes place in the Greed ring. Kind of hoping we would go to Envy, but at least we can learn more about the Greed ring.

Interesting to know that there is vehicle sized elevators available to take people to other rings while in their respective vehicles. Explains how Blitzo can bring the I.M.P. van to places.

Loo Loo Land is still a wreck.

Mammon is so cheap, he won’t pay to print his own logo on all of his things.

Improper toxic waste disposal. That’s the reason why the place is so green.  It’s probably more radioactive then anywhere in the Fallout series. Eh better than just having it represent money.

Before I forget, it seems like the theory of the shark demons being from Greed is true. It does make me wonder if there a sub-species though, as I’m sure there are some sharks in the Envy ring that look totally different from what we’ve seen, heck I think we saw some of them in “Ozzie’s”

In that wide shot where we see Crimson and that big shark guy, what is that red demon supposed to be? He looks like a Imp/Incubus mixed with something else that looks very bird like to me. Could he be the bastard child of a Goetia who slept with a lower-class demon?

Crimson says Blitzo is becoming famous but is it because of his business or because of his “relationship” with Stolas as the events of “Ozzie’s” still haven’t been showed yet. Has my wish of their relationship still being a secret coming true? I guess we will have to wait till the Ozzie X Fizz episode.

THAT’S NOT ANDY BERMAN!! Come on that would have been awesome for this episode, and I’m not even an Invader Zim fan.

WAIT HE DATED MOXXIE AND MILLIE! Now that’s a twist while still breaking away from cliché tropes.

Of course Blitzo is jealous of Chaz getting with M and M XD

Baby Moxxie and his mother! Looks like she wasn’t happy in the relationship, poor thing. At least it’s fitting and tolerable for this one time story compared to another cliche marriage but I’m not getting into that as today is all about Moxxie and Millie.

I will say, Moxxie’s mother is beautiful!

Love the flashbacks followed by the Titanic references, even Blitzo calls it out XD.

For robbing a bank owned by the demon of Greed, I’m surprised Moxxie only went to jail. You think a crime like that would be instant death or getting tortured from the demon himself.

MOXXIE AND BLITZO FIRST MEETING! I wished Moxxie had talked more in that conversation but it’s nice to see how it all started. It also seems to show that Moxxie likes Blitzo because he’s leagues nicer than his father and ex, betting its was how Blitzo wanted to get in touch with Loona that sealed their friendship.

By Moxxie saying “sissy lifestyle” I’m guessing Crimson is homophobic. I can see several HH/HB characters having issues with that.

Looking closer, Chaz’s hairstyle is very similar to Seviathan von Eldrtich’s hairstyle. I’m guessing that is a common style for aquatic demons.

Please tell me were going to get a “Princess Bride” scene later in this episode with Millie in the Westley role :D

So Crimson is homophobic. I’m also still surprised by what this series can get away with sometimes when it comes to visuals.

The flashbacks are education as along with getting more confirmation of Moxxie’s childhood and Crimson being a bad father and husband (not surprising) with very little words, but it’s also thanks to him Moxxie’s mother is gone. Damn. Hell just got a lot uglier without her in it.

It also seems like the HB fandom has another person to ship with Stella :3

Fourth wall break.

Imagine if before Chaz and Blitzo did the nasty, Stolas appeared with a camera, causing Blitzo to go “Are you F^&*ing filming us!”

Moxxie’s last name is Knolastname!

Moxxie X Millie FOREVER!

I honestly wasn’t expecting Chaz to have his own agenda, I thought we would see Millie learn about the wedding and try and stop it. Heck I’d be okay if Blitzo did this as he hasn’t done much in the episode, almost like he SHOULDN’ T have been in it.

“Says he’s better then he looks only to be knocked out” cliché. It would have been cool to see Moxxie do some action before getting knocked out, as that would be another reason why Crimson ties him up as he see’s that his son can be a problem.

I have been wondering what a demon wedding looks like, so it was nice seeing some elements of it.  I am surprised that the demon priest is wearing attire an actual human priest would wear. You think he would wear something more IDK… hellish, like wearing all red or something. Ooo what about gray as that could represent the groom (who wears white) and bride (who wears black) becoming one!

Want to point out that Wrath channel is playing a country like song, fitting given we know it’s filled of farmers and other stereotypical country stuff.

We’re getting our “Princess Bride” scene!!!!!

Mille gives Mortal Kombat’s Scorpion a round for his money on, I mean she pulls out people’s skulls and spines WAY better then him.

She literally just turned a shark into sushi XD

After all that, I would have just killed Crimson, and maybe Chaz, so they can’t cause future problem especially when they already have tons of enemies but that’s just me. At least I could see them returning in interesting ways but more on that later.

It honestly wasn’t surprising to see Loona still in that chair, heck I bet she could stay in any chair for weeks without having the need to get up.

NO KEEP THE HELL-ICOPTER GUYS! That would have been cool to have for later.

I don’t think Chaz is dead, however without his teeth I bet he wished he was.

Actually thinking back, I’m surprise that though he is a shark demon, he can’t regrow teeth like an actual shark. It makes me wonder if other animal like demons lack traits the actual animal has, like I could see bee demons being able to use their stingers without fear of it coming off naturally.

Another episode, another Hell enemy for I.M.P. though I do see this leading to a good episode.

(watching credits) DAMMIT Chaz is dead. Why couldn’t it be Striker! I really would have liked to have seen Chaz return with not only dentures to replace his missing teeth, but also trying the same plan on Helsa Von Eldritch in a Hazbin Hotel episode. I feel like this potential episode would have been a growing moment for Charlie who discover Chaz’s plans, and though she hates Helsa (showing similar traits to how her father hates people like Adam or Michael in that episode which are pointed out by the characters) she puts it aside and helps Helsa realize she is being used and maybe while the two still hate each other, there is some respect between them as maybe Helsa does something that helps the Hotel.

Another good episode that is fitting with this season’s theme of expanding more on the character’s backstories, though this one is the best so far. All the positives about the episode are the same as previous episodes so I’m going straight to the negatives.

Though I do like how Millie got some good screen time, I wish we could have explored more about her in it, like what if she always had a bad reaction when dealing with exes EVEN when said ex tries to be friendly with her?  It also would have been nice and fitting with her character if she tried to bond with Crimson during the episode or again figure out his plan’s with Moxxie and instantly tries to stop it.

As I mentioned in my Helluva Boss EXPO literature, I didn’t like Blitzo being in another episode that really would have been better off as a Moxxie and Mille only episode. I recently watched a DCAU Justice League/JLU review and it went over how though it was about a team, not every team member appeared in every episode which was a plus as it gave stories where the problem couldn't be solve in 5 minutes because this specific character was there but also gave us interesting character interactions and dedicated screen time for said characters. It would be nice to see that later on in Helluva Boss in some way. Same with how Crimson being another bad father since we’ve gotten plenty of those. Again I know bad parents is a theme in Vivzies’s shows but I think it be nice to get more “variety” like that headcanon I made about Moxxie’s father being an actor, but more on that in my eventual Helluva Boss rewrite. It IS happening but there is no big rush right now, which gives me time to focus on other things I need to catch up on. I at least hope HH’s Lucifer isn't like that as it would be nice if he was a character who loves Charlie but strongly think her redemption idea should be stopped as along with how he feels like his pride is being attacked a bit, he is scared of her failing and maybe because of something else as I suggested in my HH season 1 premiere post.

At least Crimson’s personality could lead to an interesting future episode where he tries to get revenge on Moxxie and especially Millie, which would hurt Moxxie more. He’d be perfect for the antagonist of my episode idea where Moxxie and Millie go and spend time with Millie’s family, as Crimson has orchestrated the events that led Millie’s father Joe in a bad position and unknowingly lures Moxxie to him in order to get out of it. Of course seeing how Crimson treats Moxxie, and realizing he isn’t going to let him go and plans on hurting Millie next, Joe goes back on his deal and the two (along with Millie and her other family members) defeat Crimson who I could see dying of natural causes because he refused to give up on getting back at Moxxie. This episode could also make Millie’s parents finally accept Moxxie as one of the family and maybe Moxxie starts seeing Joe as a new father figure.

This episode was worth the long wait, and luckily Spring starts soon so hopefully episode 4 will come out soon. I have to say I’m excited for the upcoming Blitzo centered episodes as they guarantee to give us some good stuff.

What are your thoughts on the episode?

[traincat]

I haven't read any comics since Dead no More: Clone Conspiracy, mostly because of how Ben Riley (my favorite Marvel character, period) was being written. It's honestly been very depressing hearing about the issues and his scarlet spider series, all of which it was suggested to me to stay away from. Is everything still really bad with him? Is he anything like he was prior to his death? Is there anything with him it it currently you would recommend reading?

If you didn't like Clone Conspiracy, you're almost definitely not going to like anything that happened after. It's really hard to say anything about the current Ben Reilly situation without summing it up just as it's a fucking mess. A Ben fan told me once that they thought the problem with bringing Ben back is that, for Ben specifically, the Clone Saga is a complete character arc, and that a big problem with Ben after that is that you would have to have a really strong idea of where to go and what do with him, and that's not what any Ben story has been. (I'm going to be mildly controversial and say that I didn't hate Jackal!Ben from Clone Conspiracy; it wasn't where I'd want the character to be full time, but I thought there was some interesting character exploration that could be done there. That's not what actually ended up happening, but you know, still.)

I think Ben Reilly: Scarlet Spider MIGHT be worth a read if you haven't already read it, but I would not, like, call it good. The first few issues Ben is written like a knockoff Deadpool, and then it kind of evens out a little, but Peter David tries to do some in depth exploration about what it means to have a soul that never quite sticks the landing. But the Ben and Kaine interaction is potentially interesting. There are some good scenes, although the Ben characterization is not where it was pre-death.

I thought the start of Spider-Man Beyond was actually strong, and that both Ben and Peter sounded like themselves, but it went downhill very, very quickly. I initially blamed that on the writer's round table they had going on, where they were handing the book off to someone else every two issues, but considering that Wells' Amazing Spider-Man run is suffering from the exact same problem (strong start that quickly dissolves into absolutely nothing) I'm going to go ahead and say maybe this one is his fault actually. I think the highlight of it for me was that there were some cute Ben and Janine scenes, and I was really happy to see Janine again! And now I'm super worried about what Dark Web is going to do with her. (I haven't been loving the odd mix of sensationalizing Janine's backstory and completely avoiding actually addressing for unfamiliar readers what that backstory is, because I think for readers to be sympathetic to Janine you have to understand her trauma, and Marvel keeps sidestepping stating that she's a CSA survivor and that's why she killed her father.)

I'm not loving Ben's Supervillain Take Two But With A Worse Costume phase in Dark Web for sure, although I'm like, vaguely trying to keep an open mind and give it more than one issue. (It's so hard.) I know I keep saying this but I think there's potentially some interesting territory to tread here, but Marvel is just committed to not doing that, and their reluctance to bring Kaine into anything is not helping, because to tell a villain Ben story you do kind of have to play with a Ben and Kaine role reversal. It's just all very disappointing in how its been executed. If you're not going to do anything interesting or fresh or at least well written with a hero-turned-villain story, just don't do it.

The only Ben comic I'd recommend, and you've probably already read it, is DeMatteis' recent Ben Reilly: Spider-Man, which takes place during the Clone Saga (after Redemption but before Peter comes back from Portland). Really strong writing and an interesting plot, and DeMatteis' has lost none of his touch for introspective, psychological drama. I really enjoyed it!

[dogwittaablog]

ya I remember asking you the whole how he would approach dating seriously vs hook ups and everything. In the sense like how would he feel like meeting someone he sees himself falling for/how would he feel and think about falling in love/introducing someone to his family and friends. Would he be scared out of his mind? I don’t think he’s ever been in love and I don’t think he allows himself to fall, so how would he even act when he falls in love unexpectedly and he couldn’t see it coming and its hard and fast. What’s this dude’s dream girl like personality/interests wise? And like I feel like his family and besties are very important to him and he’d be hella nervous and excited for what they’d think about a girl. And I think they’d also be so curious to see who managed to get him to settle down after 5-6 years of the bachelor lifestyle. Not gonna lie I wanted a whole psychological breakdown about all of this because I love the way you keep it a 100 with him but you put in so much effort with the fanfic writing I didn’t have the heart to tell you back then. Sorry for the super long rant lol

In all honesty that's probably a really hard question to address who exactly he'd fall in love with and how. Since love is a really deep emotion, he'd probably find it overwhelming and scary since it'd be a new territory for him and he doesn't come off as someone who's easily vulnerable.

If I could picture someone ideal that would suit him it'd definitely be an independent and self assured individual, like he'd really appreciate someone who has their own goals and ambitions. Who's able to provide and do things for themselves without constantly relying on him. (He's never struck me as the kind of person that would make anyone a stay at home girlfriend and just let them take his card and buy whatever lmao). Don't see him liking to feel the need to baby someone or fix every small problem they have, or have them nag for attention constantly either.

The person is a good mix of being introverted and extroverted, knows when to just stay in to chill and knows when to have fun and go out. Is able to match the mood accordingly. He likes them goofy for sure, someone who's carefree/no drama and is able to push his buttons in a good way (Just imagine a female TK). Probably would want someone who lets him indulge in his hobbies without judgement (Especially hunting and the 6+ hours at the golf course with the boys lmao). A big bonus is if they're already into the same hobbies, or if they're willing to participate and learn.

When it comes to introducing he’d probably be fairly anxious and probably thinking of all the potential embarrassing stories and photos they’ll see/hear of him + just hoping they’ll all be accepting. “Wow Nolan finally brought a girl over! It’s been ages!”

There is no doubt he values his parents and sisters opinion on who he brings home, but he seems like he values his dad's opinion the most idk why. I think cause he's such a daddies boy and it's pretty evident he goes to him for advice and whenever he needs a heart to heart. So if whomever impresses his dad, would probably have a better chance of staying around longer. Not saying his mom and sisters opinion don't matter, but it's not that big of a significance compared to good old Steve. His friends would probably have the least say in everything, they’d just want him happy with a good person.

[ohifonlyx33]

mixed feelings about deflagration. I'm not usually one to complain about an episode, but I was underwhelmed and even a little irked...

sorry if that bums you out. in fact, you may not want to read this list past #1 (which is objectively funny).

So we all agree we have severe psychological trauma from Gabriel's.... whatever that was?

2. Zoe I tried to give you a chance even after your botched introduction as Chloe's secret sister... but honestly just leave. I hope she does go back to New York. When she was little more than a character model standing next to Chloe, I could be indifferent... I could tolerate her... But the more they focus on her, the less I like her... If I didn't love Adrien and Marinette so much, she might just be awful enough to kill my interest in the show. :(

3. I didn't exactly think Gabriel's plan made perfect sense (why akumatize anyone at all? Just follow them home or something), but liked the general direction of the plot and the raised stakes of almost losing.

4. The way the underground movement kicked in and the teamwork was nice... but they defeated Monarch way too easily. Every other time Gabe gets his hands on even one of the two, it's been game over. Respect to Tikki and Plagg, but you're telling me they couldn't resist in Ephemeral?

5. Genuinely sad when Adrien is sad. :( He missed having Plagg as a friend. Love him as the protective BF and love that he got to take the Ladybug earrings from his father. :)

6. Adrienette is still so cute, but honestly... Marinette has a problem. Wait. Listen. I'm not one to say she's never allowed to be cringey and neurotic. Cringe is part of her character and I love her for it and despite it. Heck, I consider myself cringe in various ways.. So I'm not here to blame her for being awkward or clumsy or whatever else... I can even forgive her statue scene... But this is a whole different ballgame. She's acting downright terrified of Adrien (I get there is some trauma there, but TBH Chat Blanc was way worse or at least equally as bad, and she managed that fear way better... she even let herself fall for Chat Noir, take his hand, and kiss him on the lips despite the trauma of Chat Blanc... I just don't totally understand the inconsistency). And okay, it's fine if she's nervous around him and awkward and not ready to hold hands or say ILY... but then don't keep forcing yourself to do those things. It just looks way worse when you try to force it, and can't. Like, girl... I know you want to hold his hand, but if you feel yourself freezing up... just don't force yourself. If it freaks you out so much just apologize and say you're not ready. Tell him you didn't wash your hands or something ridiculous. Just... Read your body signals. That's all.

7. Not enough Ladynoir fallout. Not enough questioning what happened there. Seriously? Hoping this is addressed more later... but not likely.

8. Alya and Nino was sweet and they handled that well 🥰

[writefasttalkevenfaster]

Dancing With Our Hands Tied (Part Two)

Series: Undercover Hotch fic/series™

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader 

Word Count: 4,408 | Rated: T | Warnings: swearing, discussion of domestic abuse, possibly compromising positions(?), an almost kiss

Tropes: bedsharing, fake married, mutual pining

Chapter Summary: after holding hotch's hand for a few minutes, it wouldn't be a problem to hold it for most of the morning? because now the retreat gimmicks begin as the two of you search for information while dealing with the events.

A/N: sorry for the delay on part two -- had some family things going on this month <3. look out for part three :) Thank you to @bucky-of-the-opera for always letting me bounce ideas off of her and generally being amazing.

“Where do we start?”

The retreat lodge was larger than you imagined — with sprawling grounds that weren't just limited to the main lodging area where the couples stayed — but extended beyond to woods, hiking trails, and beyond. Hell, you glanced out the window at a nearby mountain, you wouldn’t be surprised if they owned a mountain as well.

“I have no idea,” you murmur, your arm intertwined with Hotch’s, as the two of you stepped into the lobby for the patented mix-and-mingle with the other couples before breakfast. Not only mind-numbing, soul-churning mingling — but with other couples with marital issues -- exactly what every vacation needs, “this place doesn’t seem big on technology — I haven’t seen a single computer or cellphone,”

“The front desk only has paper logs,” he shakes his head, “I asked about the lack of technology in the rooms. A noted policy of no tech — including the employees. I don’t think we are even allowed our cellphones after this breakfast.”

You scan the couples beginning to shuffle down now, “If there’s no tech here, where do you think they keep their guest and employee files?”

“I don’t think breakfast is ready yet, sweetheart,” he replies, as your gaze snaps to his cheeks burning, as you realize a couple approaching your six, “but I’m sure you won’t have to wait too much longer,”

“I’m right there with you,” the husband winks at you, his stomach shaking as he laughs even before he jokes, “if I don’t eat soon, I’m going to lose one of my only reasons for coming to this place,”

And something tells you it isn’t much of a joke either.

“But not the reason for coming here, isn’t that right, dear?” his wife assumedly smiles at you, icily, “Molly Chapman. It’s a pleasure to meet you, and you are?”

You introduce yourself, forcing a straight face on as you manage to say your alias, offering your hand, “This is my husband, Thomas,” as Hotch introduces himself to Molly’s husband, Harry, who claps your boss on the shoulder.

“So,” Harry leans in, almost clandestinely, “what are you two in for?”

“Harry!” Molly chastises him, but her eyes hook onto your expressions, her lips pursed in disapproval if only to hide her smile.

“Well, if it helps, me and the missus here need some help communicating,” he crosses his arms, shaking his head, “never learned much about that growing up,” and he elbows Hotch, “but I’m sure you can relate — we’re practically in the same generation,” And you nearly snort, trying and failing to hide your smile — which Hotch notes, as you see him shoot a small glare your way.

Harry and Molly don’t notice, too busy reprimanding her husband again, before she sighs, pinching at the bridge of her nose, “It’s just as well, we are all going to find out about each other’s problems anyway,”

And you furrow your brow, “I saw group therapy on the itinerary — is it mandatory?”

“It is,” Molly nods, “Dr. Rosen, the therapist who helped design the program, insisted on it — otherwise it would just be a vacation, not a couples retreat,” and she raises an eyebrow, “didn’t you read that in the paperwork when you signed up?”

“I did most of the paperwork,” Hotch intercedes, his fingers intertwining with yours, “my love here was busy wrapping up some loose ends for work so I ended up taking the lead on it,”

“Oh well now I know what’s wrong with you two,” Harry chuckles, as Molly elbows him again, half-heartedly, as he gestures to you, coffee in hand, “you wear the pants in the relationship, got that one wrapped around your finger, now don’t you? Not surprising, with the age gap and all--” as he looks you up and down, winking at Hotch, as you gape at him, “nicely done, sir.”

Your blood begins to boil, several insults picked out and fine-tuned on your tongue as you open your mouth, “Well—”

“We’re working on it,” Hotch clears his throat, jerking his head toward the now ready breakfast buffet, “Harry, it looks like—”

“Food’s on!” and he’s scurrying away to the table, as his wife follows suit, giving both of you a nod, as you glare at his retreating back.

“Food fucking saved his life,” and your eyes slide back to Hotch, as he gestures for you to head over to the breakfast table, “and so did you,”

“Well, I figured you murdering someone on our first day here would attract some unwelcome attention,” he steers you away from the direction of the Chapmans, his hand now slipping around your waist, and you do your best to ignore the flip of your heart, focusing on the fancy finger foods the retreat put out for breakfast, until you feel Hotch’s fingers drum on the small of your back, “do you see that?”

You glance at him, following his gaze until your eyes fall on a door that says ‘Employees’ Only’ around the corner, the manager slipping through the door, locking it behind him. You glance away nonchalantly, helping yourself to some mini-breakfast sandwiches and some fruit, “Do you think they keep the employee files?”

“Maybe,” he breathes in your ear, as he reaches over your shoulder to grab some food, making you shiver at the closeness, “but how do we—”

“Welcome!” a voice booms from the foyer, sweeping arms as he steps forward cutting through the dining room, “Please everyone take a seat. Help yourself to some breakfast.”

You both make your way to a table, and Hotch pulls out your chair for you, giving a small smile, as he takes his seat beside you.

“I hope you all are beginning to get to know each other, but that is not all you will be getting to know today,” he clasps his hands, he bared his teeth with his fake white smile, “I am Richard Rosen, and I will be guiding you through your time during this six-week retreat, where you are not only going to learn about our facilities, about mindfulness, and about yourselves,” his eyes scan the crowd smiling, “you’re going to learn about each other.'

Oh, how wonderful.

You had read up about this guy last night — went to Harvard — Harvard College in Indiana, and got his certification in Psychology after four weeks of surely intense training. After that, he opened his own practice in New York City, which folded after several complaints ranging from sexual harassment to fraud. Unfortunately for his clients (and fortunately for him), there wasn’t enough evidence to get his lack-luster certification yanked. He then moved from city to city, learning from his mistakes, and never stuck to the same city for long enough for someone to catch onto his treatment packaged charade. Until eventually, he settled upon White Mountains Retreat, where he was allowed to stay in one place, but with a revolving door of patients.

He was one of your suspects — no record, but had easy access to the couples, and intimate knowledge of their relationships.

"But our time will begin together tomorrow,” he beams at all of you, “Right now, I'm going to pass it over to the man who you will be coordinating your incredibly list of daily activities during your stay here — the man responsible for all the wonderful memories you will make — Mr. Brock Hillen," Rosen steps aside, welcoming Hillen to take over, and he doesn’t wait a beat, checking his watch before disappearing down a hall.

“Where’d he go?” you murmur, and Hotch shakes his head.

“I don’t know,” Hotch murmurs, lips barely moving, “but do you see that?”

And you spot cuts on Brock’s arms before he tugs the sleeve of his shirt down to cover it, “Could be consistent with causing those injuries our victims,”

And Brock Hillen was no less suspicious than Rosen — with a criminal record to match. With two charges of domestic assault, Hillen already had a history of violence with his ex-wife, but since she divorced him, he has had no other charges. Yet, because of his record, he went job to job, until he found himself as the Activities Coordinator of White Mountain. Could it be that his rage over his wife leaving him led to the murders? Maybe something in the last few weeks that triggered it.

“Hello all!” he greets, holding his arms out, his fake blonde hair nearly blinding under the bright light of the chandelier that hangs above him, “thank you Richard, for that all too kind introduction,” he begins his spheal on the healing nature of the resort, the efforts of his team in coordinating the next six weeks for them, and you begin to lose interest around his third sentence with the word “enchant” in it.

And your eyes can’t help but slide to Hotch a moment, whose arm rests on your lower back still, the metal of his watch gently pressed against your shirt, and you swear his thumb brushes against your spine. You almost want to brush it away, his touch is so gentle, so sweet, so intentional, but it wasn’t — it wasn’t.

“For our first event,” and now you’re blinking back to Brock — to the reason you were here — to catch a killer, “I’m going to have you do one of the very things that Richard mentioned — an activity that will allow you to you learn more about yourselves and each other,” and he gestures around you, “as well as the grounds themselves,” Other employees start handing the couples a clipboard, “your task will be to get each of your stamps from around the retreat — this obviously includes our grounds and other facilities, including our spa, chapel, gardens, and so on.”

“Seems like a perfect opportunity to look around,” you murmur — as Hotch takes the clipboard, flipping through the scavenger hunt -- at least there wasn’t some cheesy shtick to this activity.

“To symbolize the journey you all will be embarking on together as couples, you must complete the task hand-in-hand,” Brock brings his two hands together, “please, there will be staff all over the facilities, if you need a hint, feel free to ask, and I will be here as well to provide any assistance,” he gestures to employees behind the couples, “now, at the sound of the gong—”

At the sound of the what—

And then a loud crash fills the air, rattling your eardrums, making you jump, “Take each other’s hand, and begin!”

Couples begin scattering about, pulling each other along — you spot Molly dragging Harry away from the breakfast table.

And Hotch rises beside you, offering you his hand, clipboard in his other hand, “Ready?”

You glance from him to his hand.

Probably not, but— your fingers intertwine with his, his calloused fingers warm, and the cool metal of his band brushing against your skin—

“Ready.”

What other choice did you have?

~~~

“How many more do we have?” So far, the first few stamps have taken you all around the other facilities — the spa, the garden, the sauna — but none inside the retreat center itself. Not a single one had given you a change to find where the files were kept in this place.

“Two more left,” he murmurs, “I assume the last one will take us back into the main building, so the other must be—”

“At the chapel,” you glance at the map of the place you were handed by an employee who took pity on you two after you had wandered around the grounds — completely lost, “at least we don’t have to bother figuring out the riddles now,”

“You mean you don’t need to bother,” you shake your head, “i’m sorry, I’m just—”

“Are you okay?” he asks, as the two of you stroll towards the chapel, everyone else out of earshot, “the first day can be—”

“No, it’s not that,” you look around the grounds, and you resist the urge to flex your fingers, but he notices you tense — and you know he would drop your hand but he can’t, so he steps away a little, “It’s not you—”

“But it’s you?” he chuckles, as you bite your lip, “I know it’s a lot,” he sighs, as you two reach the chapel, a relatively small building built on top of a hill. It’s a white marble building, its one spire splitting the sky above it asunder, practically gleaming in the sunlight. The double mahogany doors are drawn open for the couples, another just leaving as you two arrive. You watch him stare up at the chapel, “it is for me too.”

You frown, as the employees at the entrance greet you, and direct you to sit near the front together for a few minutes — to take solace in the quiet before you receive your stamp. Hotch hands them the clipboard as you both wander down the aisle together.

The aisles are lined with white pews, light streaming through beautiful stained glass windows. Your footsteps echoed against the stone floor. You step and sit into the pew beside Hotch, sitting back a moment. The chapel itself had no denomination — it was clear it was made for the sake of religious and non-religious functions — likely an intentional choice not to exclude any religion or atheists for that matter.

After all, money was money in their eyes.

You two are quiet a moment, your hands still interlaced for the sake of the employees still watching the two of you, “I think for me,” your voice low, “it’s just weird to be this close with anyone,”

“You mean physically or?” you shrug.

“It’s part of it — it has been a while since I’ve shared a bed with someone,” you purse your lips, “but like you said, it’s hard for me to let someone see me, like all of me,” and you glance at him, “and it’s hard when you’re literally the leader of a team of, you know.”

“I know,” he leans against the back of the pew, “it’s impossible to hide things from the team even when when we don’t spend every minute with them, and now that we’re spending the all of the next six weeks together--”

“There won’t be much we can do to hide,” you nod, looking down at the floor.

And that was what scared you the most.

The employees hand you back the clipboard at that moment, excusing you both back, and the two of you step out of the chapel, “I just want you to know,” you say, as the two of you reach the bottom of the hill, “you don’t have to hide anything from me,” and he raises an eyebrow, as you add, “if you don’t want to.”

“Do most people hide anything because they really want to?”

“No I meant,” you chew your lip, “This is probably hard for you, and I don’t want to act like I know what you’re going through — I don’t,” you would never deign to think you knew what it was like to lose your the love of your life, your best friend, and mother of your child in one fell swoop, “but you don’t have to pretend,” not with me, you want to add, but you don’t — you can’t.

He blinks a moment, eyebrows raising only for a millisecond, before he sighs, “It’s easier to pretend,” he presses his lips together, as another couple approaches, “and that’s what we’re here to do,” and he begins to walk forward, gently pulling you along, as your cheeks burn, your head fixed on the ground, until he adds, “but I appreciate it,” and you meet his gaze, several emotions in his eyes, before he tears it away, “thank you.”

You don’t get to respond, as the two of you step inside to find only most of the couples still hadn’t returned yet — still collecting the last of the stamps, and most of the staff floating around the grounds to corral and nudge stragglers along. And their absence left an opportunity.

So you glance around, before tugging a distracted Hotch along, wandering around a corner, “What—”

And you grab him by the shoulder, pinning him to the wall, cheeks burning all the while, not daring to meet his gaze, but its just the same because you hear the small gasp of your name that leaves his lips in a whisper, and his body tenses against your palm.

You lean up closer, before slowly craning your neck around the corner, “We’re a couple at a retreat looking to sneak away,” you murmur, lips barely moving, as you lean closer, nose brushing his neck — god he smells good — but you refuse to let your lips brush against his skin, “or that’s what it will look like to anyone.”

His tenseness melts away, and he’s pliable to your touch, as your fingers graze his neck now, your thumb resting against his cheek, as he stares down at you — so adoringly as you tug him by the shirt away from the wall, following you with such ease.

You’re next to the employees only door — your fingers reach for the knob, turning — “It’s locked,” you murmur, and his brow furrows, as you cup his cheek, guiding his gaze to the lock.

And he’s spinning you around gently so that you’re pressed to the wall, your breath catching in your throat, as he looms over you, his fingers cupping your chin. His arm around your back, pulling your lower half close to him, but he’s holding the door knob in place while he tries to pick it with his other hand.

Your cheeks burn as he looks down on you, his gaze freezing you in place, far too close — his breath warming your lips, taking the breath from your lungs and replacing your blood with lava. And you can see so clearly — the cut of his jaw, the soft lines of his face, and the curve of his lips—

And then the lock clicks open.

He’s turning the knob, as you spare one glance over your shoulder to see if anyone sees either of you, but then the door is shutting behind you. You feel the wall for a light switch, and you flick it on, while you hear the click of the door locking again.

And you blink, a glorified break room — a few tables and a basic refrigerator stuck in the corner, a worn couch stuck against a wall, and a sink stuck in the corner with a subpar dish rack — far from the accolades that were in each guest’s room — but then again, the employees weren’t paying through the nose for the rooms.

You two stay close, as your eyes scan for anything that could be a camera — even one that isn’t obvious — placed in a smoke detector or lamp shade, “No cameras,” he pulls away, and you try to swallow the lump in your throat, tucking away the embarrassment to dwell on another time (likely right before when you’re trying to sleep).

But then again, the guests weren’t the ones working 18 hour shifts on their feet.

Hotch calls for you, pointing towards a few file drawers stuck in the corner, and the two of you head over, running your finger down the label on the drawers, “These are all client records — administrative, financial — nothing on the employees.”

“They must keep the employee records somewhere else that employees don’t have access to,” and you’re rifling through the folders, for something — anything.

“I haven’t seen any other employee areas,” you shut the drawers, and then you glance around, your eyes falling on another door in the corner of the room — “unless—”

“It must be Rosen and Hillen’s offices,” you walk over, reading the placard — Administration Offices, “locked?”

“This isn’t something that can be picked easily,” Hotch shakes his head, “it has a bump guard — it prevents—”

“--lock bumping,” and Hotch looks over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow, “I’ll tell you my reason if you you tell me yours,

He snorts, “I learned it sometime between 6th grade and military school,” and it’s your turn to raise your eyebrows, “my father — he—”

“You don’t have to—” you shake your head, “unless you want to—”

“I’ll just say, it wasn’t a good childhood,” he raises to his feet.

And you can’t help but give a small smile, “But look at how well you turned out,” and he’s shaking his head, shrugging his shoulders, “Hotch,” you make him meet your gaze, “you’re a good man — don’t doubt that.”

His eyes meet yours again, warm, as he looks away to the floor for a moment, the corners of his lips twitching, “Thank you,” he breathes, and he’s stepping forward, “I—”

And then the doorknob is jiggling. Your heads snap to the door, before looking back to each other.

Shit.

Before you know it, his wrist is around yours, and he’s tugging you to the couch, as you fall backwards onto the soft cushions. He’s halfway kneeling between your legs, his body draped over you, and he’s leaning closer, murmuring an apology as he lips draw close to yours, “Hotch—”

And then the door is opening, as his lips nearly brush yours, “Hey!”

An employee stares at the both of you, as you both stumble to your feet, adjusting your clothes, “This is employees only — what are you—”

“Sorry!” you yelp, jumping to your feet, “so sorry,” and you brush past them, Hotch following at your heels.

And the two of you find your way back to the lobby, your heart still in your throat, as you tug on your clothes, “Thanks for the —” your cheeks burn, “I mean, good thinking—” you shake your head, "you know what I mean."

He snorts, his fingers finding yours again, giving them a slight squeeze, "Anytime," and your heart oh-so-helpfully skips a beat, tongue-tied, but luckily you don't have to response as Hotch glances at you, "you never did tell me how you learned about lock picking."

You shrug, “I have a checkered past,”

“That’s not much of an answer,” and you shoot him a half-smile.

“I have to keep you interested somehow don’t I?” you reply right as Brock begins to speak again.

The event wraps up with another talk from Brock — who has an employee approach him towards the end of his talk, whispering in his ear, and he nods, waving him off, “and one last thing — I know you all came to rejuvenate your marriages and partnerships through this retreat and we fully encourage you to do so but—” you swallow thickly, realizing just which employee must have whispered in his ear right then, “please refrain from doing so in restricted areas that are not for our guests.”

You cannot even bear to look at Hotch, keeping your gaze straight ahead, grabbing a drink on the tray, and sipping at it — and you wondered if you were masking your mortification well.

Probably fucking not.

~~~

Brock then adjourns them for the rest of the day — not wanting to “overwhelm them” on day one (or rather padding their time here with nothingness) — welcoming them to have their meal in the dining facilities or up in the rooms.

Most people head off to their rooms, while others linger in the lobby — chatting amongst themselves — he spots Harry rushing off to the dining facilities, his wife in tow.

The rest of the day goes off without much to-do. Hotch glances around — not a single thing of note learned about the guests or the staff. The other couples are all sociable to some extent — some more reserved than others, but none of them fit the unsub’s types so far — placing you two directly in the paths of the unsub.

By the time it’s time for bed, his body is aching for nothing but sleep — and it looked like you had the same idea. Already slipped under the covers, you’re curled up, half-asleep as your eyes flutter heavy with sleep.

Neither of you felt the need to stand guard in the room — the doors were securely locked for each of the couples, and the team was monitoring the situation at the local precinct. But you both kept your weapons close by — concealed in case someone happened to find their way in.

“Are you asleep?” Hotch whispers, and you mumble, shaking your head, turning to glance at him — your shoulders tense and brow furrowed.

“Is something going on?”

And he shakes his head, “No, sorry,” and you relax back in bed, but your lips still pursed, “I just hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable earlier,” and you tilt your head — and he almost smiles at your sleep-induced confusion.

“Earlier?” and then it floods back to you — as you blink, glancing away from him, “oh—”

He shakes his head, “I just don’t want you to think I was—”

“Hotch, I know you weren’t,” you slowly sit up, “if you hadn’t done that, I think we would have been on our way home on our first day,” you chuckle, “and I know you wouldn’t take advantage — especially when we have a job to do.”

Right, a job, he chides himself, It was a job.

“If you want to sleep—”

“I’m not having this conversation again,” you yawn, turning around and getting comfortable again, “good night, Hotch.”

And he looks at you, a small sigh parting his lips — until he finally settles in bed beside you.

His arm resting across his forehead, he glances at you again. He had spent so much of today holding your hand, his fingers nearly flexing at the memory. It had been so long since he had held someone’s hand, so long since he had worn a ring on his finger, so long since he called someone his partner.

It felt so nice.

Nice — not only because he hadn’t realized how much he had missed having someone, someone beside him, someone there — but because —

Because it was you.

And he knew that because — he didn’t want to let go of your hand.