#I say as though I didnt imply I would kill if I could get away it a few posts ago

[coiled-dragon]

pink for the vibes thing :)

Pink: You are just a friendly creature, you cannot change this

dfgshgfg ;v; thank you ♥ I try to be

[freakenomenon]

since you’ve already talked extensively about ted and ellens psychodramas + how they were displayed in the game, what do you think about other characters psychodramas like gorrister and benny?

sits back.

both of their psychodramas are confusing to me, but i prefer bennys over gorristers so ill talk about that first,,

i have like an EXTREME dislike for how they completely took away his entire character in the short story, especially with the erasure of his sexuality. but even beyond that. i just. Don't understand his character??? he was big and strong and handsome and hated the weak and. then what.

id understand if there was some kind of character motive beyond being perfect and not giving a damn point blank period. like if he was trying to prove something. to strive for perfection to the point of killing others because of SOMETHING. but they don't. i don't understand the point of completely reworking this characters already established and VERY WELL IMPLEMENTED backstory for anything other than censorship.

he refused to be weak in any way, but WHY.

it's not like with ellen ( sorry i cant resist ) where she grew up in a bad neighborhood where she was treated like nothing, so she decided to MAKE herself something.

which made it hard to cope with the fact she couldn't just rise above EVERYTHING.

or like with ted where he was forced to work for his family because of their poor financial situation, but then was pulled out of that by someone who was taking advantage of him.

which caused a giant rift in his identity.

benny has just. always been a cool big strong powerful man who didnt care about others!!@ and then when AM took him down he's not anymore boo hoo.

it's watering down what made bennys transformation from man to monkey so god damn horrifying. especially with the lack of compassion. yes sure he cares about nobody but himself BUT FUCKING. WHY? THEY DONT EVEN ELABORATE ON THIS IN THE MANUAL. FUCKING WHYYYYYY.

i like toto though, very fun little guy. very interesting character. he was like the only part of the psychodrama i could really,,, resonate? with.

now. gorristers psychodrama is.

what the hell is even going on

the only thing i could really gather from it is that instead of being an activist and a cautious "looker-aheader", gorrister was a truck driving alcoholic who had a bad marriage and an abusive mother in law who blamed him for driving his wife batshit crazy because he beat her. but. other than that i don't.

understand half of it. what do you mean edna killed gorrister. what do you mean Harry cut his heart out. jesse, what the fuck are you talking about.

i don't fully understand WHY we are supposed to sympathize with gorrister when he is. SOMEWHAT responsible for the mental descent of glynis. obviously edna and harry played a huge part in this, im not ignoring that at all. but the end of the psychodrama implying that gorrister should just forgive himself and bury the past because he wasn't FULLY at fault for punting wife into the looneybin. What.

once again, i don't understand the need for a complete flip of this characters original premis unless it's for CENSORSHIP purposes. alongside that at least the puzzles and the dialogue within bennys psychodrama make SENSE. gorristers just.

DONT?

it's not that the puzzles don't have ANY logic like a good one or two of ellens. THEY JUST. ARENT SOMETHING THAT A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DO OR BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT WITHOUT JUST CLICKING SHIT ON RANDOM TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS. wait. Wait.

Okay. i know this is supposed to be a rant about their characters but. I just wanna say that a lot of the puzzles. Are things that RELATE to the characters and their stories and backgrounds. which adds to the enjoyment. WHEN YOU REMOVE THE ENJOYMENT OF THE PUZZLES. IT KIND OF MAKES ME. NOT LIKE GORRISTER SO MUCH.

if i kept going id just end up totally rewriting the characters as a whole and that's something for another tumblr rant to soothe my ever expanding rage.

im gonna go get a cheese stick

[sailingshipz09]

Because @stellariders & @chicagofires are fueling this fire & I have very minimal self-control, here we fucking go.

First, let me preface this rant with the following context. This situation triggers me so much because I am a WOC in a predominantly male industry so I see myself in the struggles that Stella has been exposed to & it's simply not fucking fair. So this take will be framed from my POV...Perspective & Perception. The fact that I have to preface this rant with the above statement instead of just saying how I feel is exactly the fucking point I'm about to make 🙃

(Grab a snacky snack)

"You have to be what?"... you have to be 2x as good, work 3x as hard, to receive HALF of the recognition, praise, grace, & chances. They can fail upwards or even have a promotion fall into their hands "cough cough" whereas you have to drive yourself up the wall just to prove that you're worthy of the opportunity. Because ONE mistake can & will follow you throughout your entire career. & that constantly plays in the background, like static when it comes to Stella Kidd. & I feel like Stella knows that, which is why she came in, did her job, did it damn good, & proved that she can hang with the best of the best at 51 but it was never quite enough for some people & i wonder why. There's never been a moment where she has been above reproach or criticism. How can she be out of fear of being labeled difficult, aggressive, or hard to work with as the only "broad on truck" & let me be clear I'm using that term & phrase because thats exactly what Hermann said when she joined truck 81.... yuck! Anyway, how can she make a mistake when the few mistakes she has made have followed her. She fucked up in 7x02 why is it S10 & Casey if implying she can't come with him when Severide & squad 3 were under water because she might be to emotionally charged. (LOL excuse me but didnt you jump out of a moving firetruck when your poor Sylvie was hurt, hypocrite much?) Didn't see Brett or Violet volunteering to hop on the boat & Stella is a trained paramedic or EMT so she would have been an asset. She messed up in S8 so why did they just take away her teaching at the academy versus addressing burnout & how to prioritize her time to be able to do both, because she was & is fully capable of doing both she just needed direction & support...She made a mistake in S10 by going mia & she apologized profusely for it but it still felt like Kelly held back & almost iced her out a bit longer than necessary. But in S9 when he royally messed up she immediately took him back & told him she wasn't going to let him get away again even though it wasn't her fault, he iced her out to begin with. Oh not even touching on the fact that him icing her out in S9 absolutely fucked with her confidence in her abilities to the point she almost skipped out on the LT exam.....🙂

When her CAPTAIN no less saw her burning it on all fronts in S8.. what did he do? How did he act? Was it with compassion or care, or did he get snappy & reprimand? Did Stella argue, talk back, or provide excuses? No, instead, she took accountability for her actions & tried to do better even though she KNEW she was drowning & overwhelmed. Instead of creating a safe space for her to be like hey captain, I'm struggling prioritizing how you manage she went internal & pushed herself to the brink of self exhaustion that she could have killed herself or someone else.

So let's talk about how Gallo on the other hand came in & had his own share of potential life or death mistakes with Casey & how he was down right disrespectful to Pelham & how he was inappropriate in the attitude & tone he took with Stella when questioning her about Carver. I never saw fucking reddit think pieces on how disrespectful, cocky, arrogant or annoying he was. Nope! He got a pass & a slap on the wrist time & time again. Casey even sat down with him, bought him a beer & they talked it out. So why couldnt Stella get that same grace? Yet when Stella very respectfully told Pelham "hey hesrd you are a great ff but I'll have to see for myself" parts of this fandom erupted, calling her all types of jealousy , entitled, etc. Never once saw Stella defy Pelhams commands or undermined his leadership. I dis however see her lay her busding career down on the line for a man she barely knew but did it because it was the right thing to do.

Casey was ready to cut Gallo loose on HIS FIRST fuck up after Boden told Casey he didn't want him at 51 because he was reckless. Had it not been for Boden providing Casey with Gallos' backstory, he would have cut him loose, i believe. Funny how Boden had to tell Casey about Gallos family history but Stella took it upon herself to try & work with & get to know Carvers backstory AFTER Boden, her mentor, her father figure & CHIEF told her who her next replacement on 51 was going to be.... Funny how the most turnover truck saw in 10 years was Jimmy, Gabby (chose not to return to truck) & Otis yet Stella is 2.5-3 years in & she's had to navigate through Mason, Gallo, Gibson, while dealing with shit from Carver & Damon.... you see the picture I'm painting here!?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but outside of Carver... who else has Boden forced his officers to take on their rig when they were explicitly against it..... I'll wait. Oh, but because "he's 51 material," you have to find a way to manage his bullshit & if you rewatch S11, Carver had a lot of BS. And I know we like Carver now because they abandoned the I have a crush on my married LT storyline, but I had actually forgotten how bad he was as an EMPLOYEE!

He is hot tempered & showcased high levels of aggression & anger in the workplace. Imagine Stella getting upset & punching or throwing things. Yelling at her LT or engaging in behavior that would have landed her in jail. Did we forget that this incident in S12 is Carvers' second physical altercation with a civilian... Never thought I'd be referencing Emma Jacobs, but one incident in the file is a hiccup.. two looks like a pattern of him not being able to control his temperament. We've seen Stella drunk ONE time because she'd been transferred out & they acted like she was being biligerant (go back & watch the scene & just look at how they're looking at her). Carver, however, is allowed to get drunk thrown in jail, call his LT to bail him out & Stella's supposed to what? Take it, leave her damn job in the middle of the night just for him to not be apologetic at ALL & then tell her oh this needs to stay been us. LMAO EXCUSE ME WHAT!!!!? & it would be one thing if this was a one off but AGAIN nope later in the SAME season he didn't just get himself into a physical altercation but dragged Gallo, Mouch, & Ritter into it also because he refused to REGULATE & walk away.

But wait, there's more. Remember how he went off on his LT in the locker room because he was upset & then proceeded to get drunk & call out on one shift & NCNS on another leaving her with no time to find a decent floater... & even after Kelly explicitly told her that she would lose no respect if she cut him loose, what did she do... she went to his apartment to check on him, make sure he was alright & gave him ANOTHER chance. Matt Casey, Kelly Severide & Hermann would absolutely never & I'm not saying it's a bad thing that Stella gave him so many chances what I'm saying is i don't feel like her reasoning behind all the chances were actually her own but more so rooted in not wanting it to be a failure on her part in the eyes of Boden. & that for me is problematic as hell.

Even in S12... for Carver to get into that restaurant brawl & immediately take furlough afterwards was just such a cowardly move because here you are AGAIN leaving your LT high & fucking dry on truck during a crirical time no less with Boden being up for that promotion!

Now, moving into this Damon storyline, I'm going to reserve a majority of my thoughts until we actually get to see it play out. However, one thing in the finale that was alarming to me was Stella's conversation with Violet. I interpreted it as Stella had all intentions of cutting Damon loose. He was a floater, she owed that man no loyalty & she specifically said she was in no rush to lock anyone down permanently after the Gibson issue. However, again, it felt like Stella decided to keep him on longer because of other external factors. ie: Carver leaving her high & dry again & Kelly seemed to like him. Those to me aren't good enough reasons because she's not making decisions that honor her experience with this man rather than those around her.

The reality is that Stella could have lost her command or even worse because of that brawl. That man could have reported them to the CFD brass, called the cops, blasted them in the media & SUED the CFD. & the first thing they would have asked Stella was why she did not have control of the scene or her direct reports. They would have hung this on her & the old hags at CFD would have been like see this is why women shouldn't be officers." Blah blah blah. The repeecussions would have been so much greater for Stella & could have derailed what shes worked so hard for & the fact that Carver & Damon don't get that irks me because they should have NEVER put her in that position to begin with. You don't bring reproach on your leader especially when your leader has run through walls to protect you, bailed you out of jail, hell thrown herself on top of you to shield you from a blast, etc.

& so in conclusion my next gripe is with the writers & showrunners because I wonder if they know. I wonder if they know & they're choosing to reinforce these stereotypical experiences without effectively addressing them. I wonder if they know that they're not romanticizing it all & that its not cute or funny but infuriating that it feeds a part of this fanbase that's actually disgusting & rooted in misogyny. Or maybe they don't know & it's a mixture of unconscious bias/ ignorance.

Regardless, it's 2024 & I'm tired of it! 😫 I'm all for showing the reality & challenges that women or woc in the CFD face on a day to day but I feel like why not use it as a platform to show that just because it's embedded in the systems doesn't make it right nor does it make a requirement for Stella or any other female officer to have to endure the shit. She should be able to fucking fire or discipline Carver, Damon or whoever on HER rig without being questioned on whether or not her emotions or personal experiences are clouding her judgment because she's earned that right. She studied, she worked her ass off, she took the test, she passed & she's the LT. She shouldn't have to explain why she gave Carver or anyone certain assignments because guess what? No assignment is too big or small when lives are on the line, right? She shouldn't have to feel obligated to keep Damon on her rig just because now he's her long lost BOL that withheld the truth from her his LT & even when he decided to come clean it wasn't to her his LT. I am praying that is not the narrative they push in S13 but tbh I wouldn't be surprised because they've already set the groundwork for it. She shouldn't have to explain her reasoning or endure another year of unprofessionalism on her rig all because the patriarchy will get upset that a woman is leading/ discipling men. Reading the comments on how Stella was disciplined then in the finale really bothered me because yall can't be serious! Stella had ever right to be upset, to express that frustration & disappointment with them because at the end of the day, that was her scene, her fire fighters & her responsibility as the officer in charge.

It feels like the men on the show are allowed to have their emotions, their traumas, their demons & it be brushed over or romanticized with little to no consequence. However, that same grace is not extended to the strong female leads that have just as much trauma, pain, or demons. They vilified Gabby for hers & they try to do the same to Stella. it's not fair because if they were males, we wouldn't have the conversations of "Stella leading Grant on" "Stella putting people lives in danger" or "Stella's on a powe trip & has let her rank go to her head"

I know that was a lot & if you made it to the end of this rage rant, thank you. This has been something I've been sitting on since S11 & tbh it feels good to get it out! 🥹

[fuglyjeans]

Ok the first time I watched bojack horseman season 6, it sent me in a pretty bad depression spiral. But I just watched it again for the first time in almost 4 years, and it actually fills me with peace. I think I thought the show was saying no one can change, really; bojack will always be just some shitty selfish horse. He can try to do better, but he can't change the lives he's ruined, or outrun the consequences, and he'll always slip up. That made me so sad.

But now i see it more like... yeah hollyhock cut off contact, bojack goes to prison, Diane implies they'll never speak again, Princess Carolyn implies she won't work with Bojack again in the future etc. But at the same time all of these characters still express love to bojack and thankfulness that he was in their life. Even Todd is really kind to bojack in the final episode, despite having every reason to ignore him forever. They draw boundaries as they should. But there's still compassion.

Even though bojack has arguably lost absolutely everything, he's still able to find a little joy in prison putting on a play. And those people will still probably say hi to him from time to time... and after he gets out of prison, who knows, maybe he'll make more progress and find new people, start better relationships. He was already on the up and up... he relapsed, but honestly that happens. Before his relapse he'd been sober for like a year which is pretty amazing.

bojack is messy and his progress is slow. He's deeply flawed and no one is obligated to stay in his life, no one has to respect him after all the shitty things he's done. But what brings him true peace is being honest with himself about that... no memoir or dream role or Oscar win or long-lost sister or university can replace the peace of just being real. Taking accountability. I think by the end bojack is at least starting to realize that and commit it to memory.

I also think it's tempting to feel like post-rehab bojack is all better, he's a new bojack, it's unfair that the reporters and interviewers come after him to ruin his life after he'd just fixed it. He's not the same as Vance Waggoner!! But that's the thing.. even though it's hard, even though it feels unfair, bojack still has the choice to do better. He didn't have to do the 2nd interview. He didn't have to teach at hollyhock's school without asking her if that would be weird. He didn't have to do Horny Unicorn, he didn't have to go back into that party after reading hollyhock's letter. He didn't have to go on one last bender, break into his old house, call Diane and nearly kill himself. It's understandable that he did. It's painful and horrible. But every single time, he could have chosen to walk away, ask for help--maybe not from Diane or PC or Todd, but surely Mr Peanutbutter or he could have just checked into the ER for monitoring. And that would feel sad and humiliating and lonely but he would survive and come out knowing he didnt ruin things this time, even if he felt alone. Its ok to be alone. But he didnt do that... so even though i understand why "new bojack" fucks up again.... it WAS all still his own choice.

I could talk abt this show forever lol God

[puhpandas]

Tony Becker vs. a Panic Attack

(3,320 words)

Gregory helps Tony with a bully, but has a panic attack in the process. Tony helps him through it as much as hes able. (!!!warnings: a panic attack, a fistfight, implied/referenced past child abuse, pepper spray mention)

Tony had just been trying to get through the school day.

Usually, bullies leave them alone. Tony and Ellis and Gregory. It's not that they're immune, just that they're pretty much invisible. They're more ignored than ridiculed.

But of course, they've had their share of targetting. Enough to recognize which day is gonna be an eventful one, where the bullies decide to pick on them that day for whatever reason.

This is one of those days. Mitch Watterson is one of the more bigger, bulky kids in class. Not much of an airhead, but more just overconfident in himself because he grew up being feared by others.

At least that's what Tony thinks. He likes to do that. To try to understand why some people are the way they are. Its interesting to delve into what events could lead up to the person they are today.

Mitch has been eyeing him all day. First it started with mean stares, then turned into tossing paper balls at his head in class, until it eventually evolved into Mitch throwing taunts at his back.

Tony knew this was coming all day, which is why it isnt suprising when Mitch corners him at his locker, when school is minutes away from being let out for the weekend.

"How many did your dad kill again?" Mitch sneers at him when Tony hadn't reacted the way he wants so far. He'd been targeting basically the one thing Mitch knows about him that's a sore spot; his Dad. So far, it's taken everything in Tony to not spew what he thinks are facts at him, just to defend his Dad.

"Enough to get caught." Mitch grins at him, a glint in his eye that only gets more prominent when Tony finally reacts.

Tony furrows his brows so hard they hurt. He frowns as he says "He didnt kill anybody. It was just a felony--"

"It was just a felony." Mitch interrupts, his voice high in pitch to mock Tony's. "Heh. Why are you defending him, are you like him? You gonna kill me, too? Are you planning my murder right now?"

Tony grits his teeth as he slams his locker door shut, but he stays silent. He knows Mitch doesnt know what hes talking about, just saying things that may be hurtful, even if they dont make any sense. He really wants to hit Mitch right now, but he knows hes pretty average for his size while Mitch is big and beefy. He would be starting a fight he couldnt win.

Mitch doesnt seem to have the same restrictions, though. When Tony doesnt respond, he let's out a mean cackle and begins to step towards Tony menacingly.

"Maybe I should snuff you out before you can begin." He says, a mean smile on his face as he boxes Tony in. "You're the son of a criminal, and apples never fall far from the tree."

Tony knows that isnt what Mitch really cares about, hes just spewing bullcrap to rile up Tony before he beats him up. All Tony can do is back away to keep distance between him and Mitch, and he hisses under his breath when his back hits a wall.

Mitch cackles at the display, and Tony feels panic grip his chest. Mitch has Tony right where he wants him, and if he doesnt do something soon, Mitchs fists are soon gonna start flying.

Tony wracks his brain for a plan, or even just an idea on how to get out of this, and right as he begins to form a short half-hazardous plan, a figure steps in between him and Mitch.

If the blue shirt and spiky hair isnt indication enough, the fact that he can still see Mitch over the figures head definitely is.

Tony feels his heart drop when Gregory stands between him and Mitch, posture straightened and chest puffed out. Tony can only imagine the hatred and disgust twisted on Gregorys face right now, but he has no doubt it's there. It's an expression hes seen on his face multiple times when they witness bullying.

Tony freezes, not knowing what to do. He'd thought Gregory already left for the day. Mitch stops in his tracks too, looking at Gregory almost curiously. Sure, Gregory has a reputation in school for being tough and not someone you should mess with, but picking a fight with the biggest, meanest boy in class?

Tony cant see a scenario where this ends well.

Mitch seems to recover from the initial surprise quickly, and it's not long before an evil grin spreads across his face, and he laughs. "Well, well, well. Look who decided to step in."

Despite Mitch continuing to step forward, almost circling them, Gregory doesnt falter, and all he does is match Mitchs pace with a glint in his eye.

"Decided to help your little boyfriend?" Mitch sneers, a disgusted look on his face. "Cute. But stupid. You're no match for me, you know that, right?"

Gregory shakes his head. "There are things that matter more than brute strength." He says, and latently reaches for a pocket in his bag.

Tony thinks this is one of those times where Gregory says something super deep, that Tony cant get out of his head after he hears it, but Gregory doesnt continue that sentiment with something smart, all he says is,

"Plus, I hate bullies."

It's only then that Tony can see Mitchs eyes flick for just a moment, so fast he almost missed it, but Mitch looking directly at where Gregory was reaching and then back at him is too much to ignore.

Tony's eyes blow wide, and he reaches out. "Gregory, watch ou--!"

Mitch is on Gregory before he can finish. He dives at him, almost snarling as he goes to grab Gregory's arm. Gregory startles, moving his arm away from his pocket to use Mitchs momentum against him.

If theres one thing about Mitch, it's that hes painfully predictable. Before Mitch can grab ahold of Gregory's arm, Gregory thrusts his fist directly into Mitchs gut.

Mitch keels over, stopping in his tracks to hunch over. Kids in the hallway begin to stop and watch, murmuring travelling through the hall. Before Gregory can make another move, Mitch has recovered.

"Nice try," Mitch grits out, standing back up to full height, and Tony feels his breath get caught in his throat when Gregory doesnt move to get away. "but you'll have to do more than that to--"

Before Mitch can finish, Gregory's smashing his shoe into Mitchs knee.

At this point, a crowd has begun to form, and Tony can hear some kids ooooh at the blow.

Mitch folds, left supporting himself on his knee as his other one collapses under himself. He let's out some sort of garbled shriek, and Tony cant help the laugh that bursts out of him.

Gregory uses this opportunity to reach for his pocket again, for what is unknown to Tony, but Mitch notices, and when it processes, his eyes blow wide.

In a way that couldnt be predicted, Mitch somehow recovers prematurely, using newfound sudden strength to get to his feet and lunge at Gregory. Gregory doesnt even have time to try to dodge the attack, and he makes a suprised noise when Mitch grabs his shirt, tossing him against the lockers and keeping him there with a forearm pushed against his chest.

Gregory struggles, but his arms are trapped beneath Mitchs, and he isnt letting up anytime soon. Theres a pinch in Gregory's brow, and Tony is faintly aware of himself leaving the safety of the wall to take a step towards them, worried for Gregory, even though he cant do much to help.

Mitch pants, looking enraged. Gregory squirms under his weight, and he grits his teeth.

Mitchs free arm winds back. A punch is Tony's first guess, but the way hes positioned his hand, its not to punch Gregory, no. That's easy to recognize. For some unknown reason, instead, Mitch is winding his arm to backhand Gregory.

Tony almost freezes at the shock, movement staggering, but he catches a glimpse of Gregory's eyes from behind Mitchs bulky frame.

They're staring at Mitch, no his arm, reared back above Gregorys head and trembling with unfiltered rage.

Gregorys eyes, shockingly, are swimming with pure, unadulterated terror.

Tony has never seen Gregory look this way before. Gregory is looking at Mitch like hes winding up to kill him.

Mitch takes a deep breath, arm shaking with barely held back restraint. "This'll teach you not to mess with me--"

He readies his arm to strike, and Gregory flinches and squeezes his eyes shut, trembling badly. Tony thinks this is one of the moments where Gregory looks like a little kid.

Tony sees this go down from behind Mitch, something ugly gripping his chest and clouding his thoughts.

Without thinking, and with sudden strength not even he knew he had, Tony charges forward, shouldering the side of Mitchs body enough to displace him. Mitch cries out, his shock sending him scrambling for purchase as he looses balance.

Tony doesnt stick around to see Mitch fall, but he assumes it happens if the crowd all roaring in laughter is any indication. He reaches for Gregory, a firm grip on his arm, and he bolts.

Nobody follows them. In fact, the halls are completely empty, everyone having gathered for the fight or left the school. Tony pants as he sprints, eyes scanning for a place to hide.

He slows in front of the bathroom, skidding inside and dragging Gregory with him.

Tony releases Gregory, hunching over to support himself with his hands on his knees as he catches his breath, his heart hammering.

Adrenaline is still coursing through him, and he feels himself tremble, even after his refills his lungs and his legs stop burning from the sprint.

He takes one moment to listen, and see if any footsteps are racing down the hallway, ready to chase them down, but he hears nothing.

Tony begins to relax, but unlike himself, Gregory hasnt caught his breath yet. In fact, it sounds like Gregory cant breathe at all.

Panic grips at Tonys chest again when he whirls around, and sees Gregory leaning against the wall, knees wobbling and hand clutching at his heart, breaths short and fast.

Tony freezes, not knowing what's wrong. He hovers, taking a hesitant step towards Gregory. "...Greg? Are you--"

Tony doesnt get to finish. Gregory suddenly chokes on air, knees giving in as he slides down the tiled wall onto the disgusting school bathroom floor. He scrambles backwards, as if somethings attacking him. And so unlike what Tony's seen from Gregory, he pulls his knees up to his chest, hiding his face in them.

Tony stands there like an idiot, unsure of what to do. He fights himself to move, because Gregory cant breathe and hes obviously freaking out for some reason.

Hesitantly, Tony crouches down in front of Gregory, pausing for only a moment as he wracks his brain on what to do before settling a hand on Gregory's knee.

"Gregory!" He tries to get his attention. "Hey, Greg, are you okay?"

Tony's hand reels back when Gregory startles away from him like he burned him. He flinches so violently at Tony, that he almost feels hurt.

No. Tony shakes the idea away. Its not his fault. Dont get that into your head.

Tony thinks this is one of those attacks. Where something triggers it and you feel like you're gonna die. He cant remember the name right now, but he thinks that's what's happening.

Despite knowing what it is, Tony has absolutely zero clue how to help.

Tony makes a humming noise, bouncing anxiously as his hands hover, completely useless.

Gregory chokes again, making the most upsetting noises Tony's ever heard. Gregory flinches again, even though Tony didnt touch him.

Tony doesnt know what to do. He doesnt know how to help. You can't look for clues, here. You cant piece together a picture. Theres nothing about this he can latch onto to decipher, to figure out a way to help that wont upset Gregory further.

But Gregory is panicking, and he cant breathe, and even though Tony is scared and doesnt know what to do, he cant leave Gregory to just sit there and hyperventilate without at least trying.

So he takes a deep breath, steeling himself, and Tony schooches closer to Gregory this time not touching him. "Gregory? Hey, Greg. It's me. Tony."

No response, but Tony doesnt give up. "Um. It's your friend. I'm not Mitch, or, uh, anybody like that. I don't want to hurt you. Can you look at me, please? Can you even hear me?"

Tony perks up when Gregory peeks through his knees, slightly raising his head. Tony can tell that Gregory cant really see him, even though hes looking at him, but Tony smiles anyway.

"Hey." He says to Gregory, trying to keep his voice soft. "Um. You're okay, Greg. Were just in the bathroom, so were not nearby any bullies, or adults. It's just us here, okay?" Then he whispers. "If this is even helping?"

When Gregory reacts again, it's his trembling calming a bit and his head raising slightly.

Tony is really good at recognizing change in behavior. It's what a good investigator does if he wants answers from somebody. Gotta know if they're lying, or if they perk up if they know something. So when Gregory's eyes dart towards him ever so slightly, he notices, and grins.

"Greg." He says, relieved when Gregory isnt about to hyperventilate himself into unconsciousness anymore. Hes not completely okay yet, but it's better than before. Tony reaches out, but after a moments consideration, retracts his hand, just settling on setting it in his lap. "Hey, are you seeing me now?"

Gregory's eyes widen ever so slightly. "T--" he tries, but his voice wavers so much he coughs a bit. Tony leans forward a bit, worried, but Gregory catches his breath, if not normal breathing, then hard and fast but still functional. "H-Hey."

Tony jumps at the fact that Gregory can respond to him now. He leans forward, brows furrowed and hands hovering. "Um. I need you to tell me how to help you, okay? Can you do that? I'm, uh, kinda lost here."

Gregory's breath stutters, and he squeezes his eyes shut, but he manages, "Distraction. Fuh-- Five senses."

"Five senses." Tony repeats, now determined. "Okay. Okay! Uh..." He trails off, glancing around the room. "Okay... first. Greg, whats five things you see?"

It takes some visible effort, but Gregory peels his eyes open, a bead of sweat near his hairline and brows pinched. "U-Um... You, and... the sinks."

Tony nods. "Okay. Okay keep going."

"The... the stalls." Gregory huffs out, his breathing no longer short and fast but gasping and deep. "Um... the tile, the window, an--and my knees."

Tony nods, sagging in relief at somehow helping Gregory calm down, even with his previous cluelessness, Gregory gave him a hint now, and that's all hes got. "Okay! Now four things you hear."

"...My breathing." He chuckles without humor, almost self-deprecating, but stops when it takes too much of his breath. "Um..." He takes a deep breath. "Your voice. The pipes in the wall. The birds outside."

"Three things you can feel." Tony tells him, and this time, sets a hand on his knee, gentle as can be.

Gregory doesn't flinch, thankfully, but he does take a moment to answer, loosening his tightly wound body and taking deep, several seconds long breaths. "...Kay. Your hand." He trails off, shutting his eyes. "...The gross floor, and the nasty wall."

Tony breaths out a tiny half laugh at that, and smiles knowing if Gregory's saying things like that, hes probably feeling at least a little better. "Two things you can smell."

Gregory wrinkles his nose, opening his eyes and giving him a look. "...Dont make me do that in here."

Tony laughs for real this time, and grins when Gregory is able to smile again. "Okay, sure. As long as you're okay now."

Gregory winces when he tries to move his shaky arms to sit himself up. Tony reaches forward, relieved that Gregory's no longer curled up in a ball, flinching away from Tony when he tries to help. He helps Gregory sit up, and Gregory sends him a grateful smile. "Thanks."

Theres a few moments of silence, just Gregory letting himself relax even more and getting his breathing under control. Tony glances at him, questions eating away at him. When the silence continues to stretch Tony fidgets, and the question leaves his mouth without his permission when curiosity overwhelms his sense of thinking before he speaks. "What happened? Why did you react that way when Mitch..."

He catches himself at the last second, but it's not enough. Gregory flinches at the reminder, and he averts his eyes when he gets clammy again, looking uncomfortable.

Tony frowns, scolding himself. Stupid. He thinks. He should be able to push down his curiosity just for a second to help his friends, instead of only caring about getting answers. "Sorry... I, uh..."

"Its fine." Gregory says quickly, and he gets that rigid look on his face Tony recognizes as being deep in thought, mulling something over in his head thats unknown to Tony. He takes a breath. "I... when he was gonna slap me, it just... um... reminded me of stuff that's happened to me in the past, a little. That's all."

Tony's eyes widen ever so slightly when he understands, and he curses internally, feeling guilt curl in his stomach. He never should have asked. "Oh."

Gregory looks away, almost ashamed. "Yeah." He mutters. "Sorry that you had to, uh, see that."

Tony shakes his head immediately. "Its fine, Greg." He insists, leaning forward so Gregory will look at him. "I'll never judge you for stuff like that."

Gregory just stares at him, lips parted, but then he sighs. "Okay. Thanks, Tony."

Tony smiles, then when silence stretches across the bathroom, he decides to change the subject.

"So," Tony starts. "what were you gonna take out of your bag that scared Mitch so bad?" He asks.

Despite himself, a small smirk appears on Gregory's face. "Pepper spray." He says. "I've used it on him before. He cried like a baby."

Tony snorts at the thought of Mitch, the guy who claims to be the toughest kid in school, wallowing on the floor because Gregory sprayed something in his eyes. "So that's what you meant by things other than brute strength."

"Strength means nothing if they cant even touch you." Gregory grins, enough for Tony to see his permanently missing front tooth. "Especially if they have pepper spray in their eyes. It hurts pretty bad. See?"

Suddenly, a tube of pepper spray is thrusted towards Tonys eyes, and embarrassingly, he makes a dumb little yelp and shields his eyes with his hands.

Gregory cackles at the display, and Tony removes his forearms from his face, giving him a dirty look. "Why'd you put that in my face? What if it had sprayed me!?"

Gregory wipes a tear from his eye. "To scare you." He laughs. "And it worked."

Tony shakes his head, but despite himself, he also has a smile on his face. He didnt even see Gregory reach for it, let alone take it out of his backpack.

"I need to get home soon." Tony says after a moment of laughing together, thinking of his Mom. They've probably been here for a long time even after School let out.

"Can I come over?" Gregory asks quickly, like ripping off a bandaid. When Tony looks at him, Gregory averts his eyes.

"Of course." Tony says. He wouldn't want to be alone after that, and even if Gregory could, Tonys happy to keep him company.

ao3 link

[jackienautism]

The fact if Nick was a yt girl and Emma was a guy y’all would lose your minds at the truth or dare scene, hate Emma and sympathize with Nick

(Not saying you have to like Nick it’s fine if you don’t) but the whole logic of “he could have gotten out of the situation but he didn’t” is kind of gross and giving victim blaming vibes??

Emma was there to see him express he was uncomfortable with kissing her but she still initiated it. He probably got awkward and too nervous to stop her. He’s also characterized as someone who “falls in line with others around him” so he most likely lacked the confidence to tell her to stop. Even shot of his face after Emma pulls away, he looks nervous and upset rather than pleased with the kiss.

And your whole logic of “he wants tits and ass” is so inaccurate it’s not even funny lol. He told Jacob to “don’t be gross” when Jacob implied something sexual between Nick and Abi. And the whole pool scene where Nick was saying weird stuff? Him saying “you smell so good” and “I want to taste you” means he LITERALLY wants to taste her. He’s a WEREWOLF. Not defending him in that scene and Abi had the right to be freaked out but I’m saying it’s not sexual. Even Evan Evagora, Nick’s actor, confirmed that he acted the way he did due to the infection and it’s not truly him (there are screenshots of an Instagram story he said that in that are floating around on tumble) so I have no idea where you got the idea that he wanted sex from Abi

what thje FUCK ar eyou even saying right now? ppl fucking HATE EMMA OVER THE TRUTH OR DARE SCENE???????? PPL BARELY SYMPATHIZE W/ HER??????????????? thats just in fucking accurate my guy. NO ONE EVER BRINGS UP NICK'S INVOLVEMENT THATS ALL IM FUCKING SAYING LMAO. PPL ALREADY HATE EMMA OVER IT LIKE I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOURE TALKING ABOUT

victim blaming for WHAT? please TELL ME.

then why the hell was he there w/ his tongue down emma's throat?????? he didnt have to go all in and yet he did! and also, my friend, his arms / hands were wide fucking open ready for emma? and he also leaned in just as much as her????? ALL IM GODDAMN SAYING IS IT ANNOYS ME THAT PPL ALWAYS BLAME EMMA FOR WHAT HAPPENED. WHEN NICK WAS JUST AS INVOLVED. I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK HAPPENED. and i took the shot of his face being nervous or fucking whatever due to jacob literally screaming at them to stopl. and the fucking fact that he just kissed his "crush's" best fucking friend.

mauybe im wrong w/ that, i dont rly fucking care though. i dont care. i jsut took the infected nick as exposing hsi innermost desires. similar to what we've seen w/ the other characters, it makes them super vulnerable and whatever. and i just took some fo what infected nick was saying as him exposing himself! "easy pickins, right off the bone" yeah maybe that was just him being hungry bc hes a werewolf or whatevr but i took it that he was just going after abi bc shes an "easy" target. i dont rly care what the actor has to say sorry. i moreso care abt the writers but like sure i get it. since i like ace laura and ryan and i know both justice and siobhan talked abt it and i take their word for it. i hahd a better explanation as to why i thought nick wanted tits and ass butits been awhile since ive played and i forgot most of my thought process. anyway im gonna go kill myself now i guess.

[kamil-a]

(c) OK IM SO GLAD i sent that too quickly and then was like. wait. did that sound dismissive. i didn’t mean it to be! but it's too late i've sent it! so yes very glad let's investigate this together. i will be honest i did not think of rangone beyond 'disposed of' but if pressed on the matter i'd say i thought he was, like, atomized. disposed of in some automatic process. i’m 100% with you on the 0 < recognized human < 1 idea, so if i had to choose, extending it further i do think SAYER/SPEAKER would be allowed to pull the trigger as long as a rangone was elsewhere.

def feel that the key words are "without assurances that another one of you will pop out of the printer on earth." feels like the experiment has been set up in a way that pre-defines the latest version of rangone as the real one, due to aerolith needing to be able to have a definition of Teleportation. but outside the experiment, i don’t think that timeline hierarchy matters. from the start, SAYER heavily implies that it doesn’t matter which resident weaver walks out of the room.

you’re right, though, they do need a very fluid consideration of who is even a “clone—“ again agree that it’s not “are you a clone” but “are you redundant?”—to even palatably have teleportation as a viable future. and i could see them initially defining a person as “redundant: their existence duplicates an existing being” before changing it to “redundant: their existence fills a niche that is already taken” (if that makes sense at all)

aaww im glad to do this little masquerade dance with you!! this strange and morbid wolves and sheep crossing the river type puzzle.........

ohoho i hope sayer and speaker got to feel at least a little >:3 about pulling the trigger there. but probably they were -_- business as usual and ^_^ business as usual! respectively...

"from the start, SAYER heavily implies that it doesn’t matter which resident weaver walks out of the room." AH youre right abt that. i was litterally looking at the script and that puzzle piece didnt click for me. so it makes it so odd that a human apparently still cant kill a redundant clone, then. but maybe thats part of the weird new invented ethics of it, this jagged piece that barely matters - and tbqh tbqh unlike ai protocols (....DEBATABLY,) nothing is *actually stopping* a human from being made to kill anyone and then either getting away withit bc they followed orders or perhaps being dehumanized themself. a good deal of aerolith murders are already done by robots holding humans holding guns (to simplify greatly)

bonus fun: imagine ocean thinking it has successfully pulled off another ~IA3 BREAKING BOUNDLESS ILLEGAL MURDER~ of destroying hale's body along with future except actually there were more halebodies cooking and its a completely legal redundancy kill. yawn.

[rainbow18]

What Sonic Prime took from Sonic X.

Cosmo.

Sonic’s story in Prime is pretty similar to Cosmo’s. (Also Sidenote. Cosmo’s design is pretty much Sonic’s except reversed.)

Both of them are among the last of their kinds.

Both of them got hunted down for why they survived while others didn’t. Shadow tried killing Cosmo for spying while Sonic was hunted down for his energy. (Which I will get into.)

Cosmo’s main relationship is with Tails and Sonic’s main one is with Nine, who is one of Tails’s counterparts.

Sonic’s main friends were based on Cosmo’s closest friends. For Cosmo, they are Amy, Tails, Chris, Knuckles and Cream. For Sonic, it’s Thorn, Rusty, Nine, and Dread. (But this one may just be coincidence since they are game characters and there’s no Cream, though that can be argued since in Prime, Birdie appears to be Amy’s pet like how Cheese is Cream’s pet and Froggy is Big’s)

When Shadow was hunting down Cosmo, everyone began protecting her and insisted on staying by her side when she wanted to run away from everyone. Which is more or less what happens when Nine targets Sonic.

Despite this, Cosmo ended up dying anyway and Nine got Sonic’s energy anyway and used it exactly as he would in the beginning. Although if Cosmo died earlier, they might not have been able to save everyone and Nine might not have fixed Green Hill and Sonic might have died if he got Sonic earlier. (Though that can be argued since it was heavily implied that fixing The Grim would have also fixed Green Hill.)

Both of them are too kind for their own good.

Cosmo was only in the last season of Sonic X, which had roughly 26 episodes and Sonic Prime has 25 episodes with one being double length. (Though this one is a stretch.)

Tails was reluctant to kill Cosmo but ended up doing so. While mad, Nine originally only targeted Sonic for his energy and when he calmed down, He no longer stated that Sonic’s energy was needed and only took the energy after Sonic convinced him.

Cosmo couldn’t remember much about what happened and neither could Sonic.

Chris.

Nine’s story is sort of like Chris’s. (Though Nine is more angsty)

Chris asked if his parents would return quickly from their jobs if he behaved himself and he believed them. However they didn’t, causing him to feel neglected. Nine did everything Sonic ever asked him to do no matter how much pain and torture he went through, believing that Sonic would like the Grim and hang out with him as Sonic said he would, but Sonic completely forgot about it and doesn’t listen much in general, leading Nine to feel neglected and ignored.

In the second Season’s finale, Chris stopped Sonic from going back to his world even though it would put everyone, including himself in danger. Nine didn’t want Sonic in Green Hill and In his attempt to fix the Grim, he accidentally sped up the decaying and in his quest to capture Sonic, Nine ended up endangering everyone more. (Though in Chris’s case, he didnt think much about what would happen whereas in Nine’s case, reality disappearing was why he was attacking.)

Both have an attachment to Sonic, which their shows are about.

Both were based on Tails.

Design wise, Nine does have red, which must symbolize something. (Since if not, Why not replace the red with Black, Yellow or Blue?) Red happens to be the color of Chris’s shirt.

Both were Sonic’s first friend in a new world.

In most finales of Sonic X, Sonic and Chris were supposed to leave each other. Each arc In Prime, ends with Sonic and Nine saying goodbye.

Both can be quite immature.

Chris accused Eggman of causing the problems that meant Sonic has to leave because he wanted a reason for Sonic to stay. During Part 3, more than once, Nine reminds Sonic that the Chaos Council were the ones who started the decaying.

Seeing Chris injured as well as Cosmo, caused Sonic to transform into Dark Sonic while with fake emeralds. In the cave, Nine used the Prism energy to transform Sonic into Prismatic Sonic. Both transformations only appeared once.

Amy.

During Sonic Prime, Sonic is more like Amy than his Game Counterpart.

Sonic mistakes the counterparts for each other, though he later changes it to them being similar to each other even though Game Sonic had seen counterparts of his friends before. Amy often mistakes other hedgehogs for Sonic.

Amy is really affectionate and often wants to hug others, especially Sonic. In Prime, Sonic is really affectionate and wants to be friends with everyone and often tries hugging others, to their annoyance. (Though Nine did eventually initiate a hug.)

Amy has reformed antagonists and so does Sonic in Prime. Pretty much everyone in Prime wanted to attack Sonic at some point. (Although in X, Amy’s speech to Shadow was given to Chris.)

Both Amy in X and Sonic in Prime can get really excited.

Shadow.

Nine’s arc is also somewhat similar to Shadow’s.

Design wise, Most of Nine’s clothes and stuff are black like Shadow’s fur. (Though he also has yellow and blue to symbolize Tails and Sonic and red, possibly to symbolize Chris.) Shadow’s quills stick in the opposite direction of Sonic’s and Nine’s hair usually faces himself, unlike Tails’s hair, which faces away.

Shadow calls Sonic a faker and doesn’t like being compared to him. Similarly Nine dislikes being compared to Tails and doesn’t like his resemblance to Sails or Mangey.

Both of them were going to let the world disappear until they received a speech. In Shadow’s case, the speech reminded him of Maria whereas in Nine’s case, Sonic reminded Nine of what he originally wanted and planned.

Shadow wanted to target Cosmo after finding out that she was spying on everyone. Nine wanted to hunt Sonic down after realizing that his energy was needed to stop the decaying.

They both endangered and attacked others in their attempts to get to their targets.

They are both dark foils to Sonic. (And to a lesser extent, Tails.)

Shadow’s fate is unclear at the end of X, similarly Nine’s fate is up to interpretation.

Shadow did originally allow Tails to be left alone if he allowed him to get to Cosmo. Nine did originally mostly focus on Sonic and only attacked Shadow because Shadow wanted to help Sonic.

Even in Prime, Nine and Shadow have similar dialogue and actions.

Sonic and Tails.

There are elements from X that are similar to Sonic and Nine and Tails in Prime.

Both of their meetings were similar and based on how Sonic and Tails met in the games. (Except in Nine’s case, Sonic had Tails’s role while he had Sonic’s role.)

Even Sonic’s flashback, while similar, it’s not a perfect match to how Sonic and Tails met in the games.

In his grief, Tails blamed Sonic for Cosmo’s death, screaming that he believed in him. Meanwhile in his insanity, Nine blames Sonic entirely for his villain arc and everything that he did.

We never got to see Sonic and Tails reconciling, instead Sonic only has flashbacks and declares that they will work together again when Chris leaves Sonic’s world. Similarly we barely see Sonic speaking to the prime characters.

[fandomfinnaddict-blog]

I will die on this hill.

Let's look at the facts:

1. Sirius Black was born into a prestigious pure-blood family (all Slytherins) who put a great deal of importance in the purity of blood, very much like Draco Malfoy. That's all he knew most of his life. He likely never spent time with non-pure blood children prior to going to Hogwarts. He had no reason to assume his parents were wrong. He knew no other way of life. Then he met James who spoke of bravery as the most important attribute. We know the Sorting Hat takes personal choice into account, arguably before any actual personality traits. After a single train ride with James, Sirius chose to be in Gryffindor rather than continue his family's tradition.

2. We have no evidence to suggest Sirius was ever romantically involved with anyone. Sirius was good-looking, wealthy, talented, intelligent, and popular. We know girls noticed him from Snape's memory of their 5th year. The books speak of girls looking at him with admiration and imply that Sirius doesn't seem to notice. He had posters of muggle girls hanging in his room to annoy his parents but no pictures of girls he dated. Sirius is aware of himself and of his friends, especially James (I think James knew of his friend's quiet affection and though he may not have had the same romantic feelings, enjoyed being the object of Sirius' attention).

3. We never really hear Sirius speak much about Lily except as James' crush. We know they developed a friendship once Lily & James were wed because of the letter Lily wrote to him. I think Lily also knew how much Sirius loved James and that's what bound them in friendship, the fact that they both were in love with the same man. Sirius often said to Harry "me & your father." Not "our friend group" or "me, your dad, Moony, & Wormtail" or really even "me & your parents." He spoke of "your parents" when they first met but after it was usually "me & your father" the way a widowed mother might say it. Sirius speaks of how Harry looks like James and reminds him of James. He never mentions that he has Lily's eyes.

4. Sirius panicked when he couldnt find Wormtail & there was no sign of a struggle in his hiding place. He went straight to the Potters to make sure they were safe. He found them dead, house destroyed, and Hagrid there rescuing Harry. Sirius was a brave & wreckless youth whose first instinct upon seeing the destruction must have been vengeance but instead he asks Hagrid to give him Harry, the last piece of James left on the earth. Only when Hagrid refuses did Sirius give him the motorcycle to help transport Harry safely and then leave to seek vengeance. I think if he could have found Voldemort, he would have gladly confronted him as well. I think he would have happily died trying to get revenge for James' death. He wanted to kill or be killed or both for the loss of James.

Sirius loved Harry & Lily because James loved Lily and after they died, Harry was all he had left of James. When he broke out of Azkaban to kill Wormtail, he went to Privet Drive to get a look at Harry first and surely saw young James as he gazed at him. He could have announced himself to Harry or tried to help him. He was alone in the dark and only 13, carrying his baggage clearly running away from home. But he just looked and left. He could have attempted some form of communication with Harry while he was at Hogwarts but his focus was not Harry's safety, it was Wormtail's death. Only after Wormtail fled does Sirius finally turn his attention to protecting Harry.

People ship Lupin & Sirius. Maybe Lupin had feelings for Sirius, maybe not. But Sirius loved James comparably to how Snape loved Lily but in a much purer form. Snape loved Lily selfishly but didn't care about the things or people Lily loved until she was dead. He was jealous of those things and wanted them out of the way, hoping Lily would someday be his. He didnt share her beliefs about dark magic or the unimportance of blood status or anything that made her such a surpassingly impressive woman. Sirius loved James and accepted that their friendship was the most of him he'd ever have. But he loved what James loved, believed for what James believed, and fought beside him for the same.

[suicide-with-dazai]

I HAD A GREAT IDEA

Fyodor, but he feeds his s/o aphrodisiac pills .

have fun reading !!!

Things i must mention:

-drug usage-fem!reader-fyodor x fem!reader-aphrodisiac usage-implied zuicide attempt-overdose-stimulant drugs-smut-cunalingus-

_///NSFW CONTENT~18+~MINORS DNI\\\_

==================================

You had been draped across fyodors lap for about an hour now, or two, or three, or four. unconscious as you had previously overdosed on the drugs which fyodor gave to you. he acted unfazed at this, but secretly, deep down in the hollowed out sections of hell in his rotten heart, he worried for you- worried if he gave you too much, worried if he should stop or continue testing drugs on his willingly submissive s/o.

every now and again he would look down at you as a whole, displayed along his lap, and he would touch your hair or brush his hand across your cheek.

the silence without your consciousness stabbed hard at his ears as the bubbly you; the drugged you; or even the normal you, was nowhere to be heard. just silence.....silence as you slowly woke.

"f-fedya.." you opened your clouded eyes, stuttering, dehydrated and powered only by depressant drugs, "fedya.."

you blinked what felt like a thousand blinks before your eyes became clear once again, and you saw your love, fyodor, staring back down at you with a false yet still earnest grin.

"malyshka..my darling...youre awake"

he loved you,no doubt, but his words were so intelligently and so finely positioned that you could barely tell they were artificial. he DID love you, but in this situation, you were just a tool, something to use and test his drugs on.

"fedya.." sobering up finally, you came to your senses, "aah, my head.. what happened.."

you glanced down at your thighs, an empty bottle of drugs which fyodor had you test for him.

"o-oh... i passed out 'cause i took too many pills?.." you sat up on his lap "what were those pills anyway?"

"you have no right to be questioning me, kiska, youre alive, thats all that matters"

fyodors lap was a heavenly place to be, hes the one with authority over your every move, so he gets to choose when you sit there. which wasnt often so you savoured the moment and cuddled up to his cold frame.

you wrapped your legs around his waist and pressed your chest against his, not giving your movements a second thought as you were still dazed. he secretly liked when you cuddled him though; so he took his arms around you and rocked sideways as he was greatful that you were still alive.

"im glad youre okay,malyshka, i pushed you a little too hard today, but youre the only one who will take these pills for me, i wholeheartedly apologise"

he wouldnt usually apologise, so this shocked you, however you didnt respond.

he broke away from the hug temporarily to put something into his mouth "here baby, i have something that will make you very happy for me, all this sad behaviour is killing the mood, wouldnt you say?" no questions asked, you were sad, you had almost lost your life just now, and fyodor was the only one who could change that.

your corrupted mind only submitted yourself further under him as you accepted a kiss from him.

he kissed lightly at first, then pushed his tongue into your mouth, along with what felt like another pill.

you swallowed, of course and deepened the kiss. you wrapped your weak arms around his neck and toyed with his hair. the kiss continued for a while, only getting more uncontrollably passionate..wait- thats it ! aphrodisiac !...that sick bastard, you thought

you broke the kiss, as your core heated and strings of saliva disconnected the mouths of you and him. "baby, i dont mean to kill the moment but-"

"what is it kiska? am i not good enough for you to kiss? does my mouth not taste sweet enough for you?"

"did- did you feed me.." you hesitated "aphrodisiac?"

"of course i did, baby, its your *only* way to be happy again, i didnt knock you stupid did i? why are you being so absurd all of a sudden, kiska?" corrupting you further.

you began to get more and more needy as time went by so you unknowingly pulled yourself closer to his chest,grinding across his lap as you did so.

"mhmm~ "

you were displeased with his amusement as you couldnt help it, it was his fault you were this way.

you grinded harder and began whimpering for his touch.

"fedya, baby, please"

"you want to be touched? as you wish my darling, you have been such a good girl for me recently, i will pay you back in pleasure, my dear"

as soon as this was said, you unbuttoned his shirt, followed by your own. you reached for the clasps of your bra and revealed your bare chest. fyodor just sat back and waited until you were ready to be touched.

you grabbed his cold and slender hands and put them at the zipper of your skirt, signaling for him so undress you, and that he did

soon you were wearing only lace panties and thigh high socks, both of which were just two of the pretty things fyodor had bought for you.

"are you ready my love?" fyodor stared at your nearly bare body as you layed down across the length of the sofa.

tonight was about you. your body and your pleasure. and thats what fyodor was going to give to you.

he started by placing kisses at your neck, then to your breasts, and your stomach.

your breath hitched as his warm lips got closer to your core. he adored your small waist, and began praising you for it, "bozhe moy.." his hands trailed down either side of your tiny waist "...kakaya krasavista" (my god.....what a beauty)

he then trailed his fingers to your hips, and kissed every space inbetween, then eventually reaching your pulsing core. he carefully took off your panties and put them on the floor next to him.

"ah, milaya, youre so wet for me already" he kissed at your clit and flicked it side to side with his skillful tongue. at this, you moaned as the aphrodisiac had a strong influence over your sensitive sex.

"mmmhh~~" he licked up and down your slit and planted kisses allover. "my baby...hh~" fyodor inserted his tongue and lapped up all of your juices already coming out of you.

he tongue-fucked you while staring into your eyes and he knew it felt good, he knows everything. he then moved back to your clit, sucking at it and rubbing it side to side with his warm tongue.

"fed-fedya.."

"yes dear?"

"im-"

"speak, darling speak, i didnt do this to just hear you be silent" he sucked "tell me what it is you want to say my love or i wont know"

"m'gonna- gonna cum"

he didnt speak, infact he only sucked and licked harder until you came, sweet juices flowing into his mouth he swallowed. "i see these drugs are working on you then huh, kiska?"

"mh- mhm.." still dazed with bliss from your orgasm.

and later, you came again, and again and again.

four times in one night, all for being a good girl and taking some stupid pills for him, but you loved him still.

"i should use you more often milaya" he smirked.

[serowotonin]

falling ; bakugou k.

pairing ( bakugou katsuki x fem!reader ) wordcount ( 2.4k ) genre ( fluff & basically pining )

↷ a hc-styled narrative describing the four stages bakugou katsuki goes through as he finds himself falling for you . . .

STAGE I ( impression ) ;

the first time bakugou laid eyes on you was during the entrance exam at UA. 

back then, you were just another face in the crowd of faces he was going to have to beat to earn his spot in UA

the first time bakugou spoke to you wasn’t memorable to him either

like with everyone else, he was loud and rude and made it very clear he wasn’t interested in playing friends

after that you became a part of the class, just another extra, someone who’d just get in the way

that was all he thought you were… 

until you kicked todoroki’s ass one day during training

the teachers had paired everyone in the class and told you to practice your 1-on-1 combat skills using your quirk 

bakugou, who was paired with kirishima went first

you and todoroki were to be the last pair

despite a good effort put up by kirishima, bakugou still ended up winning that round

when it was finally yours and todoroki’s turn, bakugou paid extra attention

in his mind, he knew todoroki was powerful and someone to watch out for

but what happened was quite unexpected

you maneuvered easily through todoroki’s attacks with a combination of physical prowess and creative usage of your quirk

let’s just say his ice didn’t work on you and he was caught off guard, allowing you to snatch a win 

needless to say, most of your classmates were a bit surprised at first

bakugou included

they knew you were strong but they didn’t know you were that skilled

whatever the rest of the class thought didn’t matter to bakugou though

all he knew was that now he had to keep an eye on you

STAGE II ( perspective ) ;

after that event, bakugou did indeed keep his eye on you

it started off with him observing your moves whenever the class had to do any training exercises 

he saw you fight with todoroki a couple more times after that

those didn’t end in easy victory for you as it did before because todoroki was now more wary of you

however, the way you evaded and countered his attacks was something to be praised

in bakugou’s subconscious opinion at least

your moves were carefully thought out and bakugou could see that

he could see the effort and practice you had put into perfecting them

not only that, he could also see the natural talent that you had to be able to become this strong

and it wasn’t only your fighting capabilities

you were also smart

maybe he hadn’t noticed it before but he did now

you seemed to always know the answer when a teacher called on you and your grades were great

slowly, but surely, you gained respect in his eyes 

if he knew one thing about you, it was that you were maybe the tiniest bit better than the other extras 

for a while it stayed like this, him acknowledging you but never making it obvious and you just doing your thing

that was of course until one day in the morning before class started

mina, kirishima, and sero were talking about things as they usually were and somehow the conversation led to you

they were talking about how strong and smart you were and going on about stuff

bakugou must’ve turned his head in their direction or something but mina noticed him listening so asked him cheekily what he thought of you

“y/n? of course they’re strong. anyone could see that.”

he said that pretty loudly and didn’t seem to notice you walking into the classroom

and of course you heard

“did my ears deceive or did the bakugou katsuki just praise me?” you teased

he was pretty embarrassed, blushing and sweating a bit but trying to hide it

soon after though, class started and the ordeal was forgotten

but something about that interaction led to you and bakugou becoming closer

closer in that instead of passing the other off as another strong classmate as you usually would, you’d actually greet each other and talk 

you’d say hello to him in the mornings and goodbye after school and he’d just grunt or nod your way

but this was what it meant to be close to bakugou anyway

during the weeks that passed, bakugou found himself noticing you even more

before he only paid attention to your skills and thought about you as an enemy or rival of sorts

now it seems as if he’s just noticing the little things about you and your personality that make you who you were

he wasn’t doing it on purpose god forbid

no no it was just him being unknowingly observant

weeks turned into months and months turned into years

in a blink of an eye, you were all well in your second year

with everything that happened, you and bakugou became close

close enough for you to tease him at random times and close enough for him to ask you to fight him as training

by then it was safe to say bakugou knew you

he knew the little quirks you had 

he knew your different smiles, your different laughs

he knew your favorite foods and your not so favorite ones

he knew the many different little things that made you you

STAGE III ( contradiction ) ;

before the start of the third year, the class decided to have a little get-together party of sorts

to celebrate the start of their last year in high school and to catch up as everyone’s been busy with internships and whatnot

you spent the break away from tokyo so it’s been a while since you saw the rest of the class

naturally you were excited to be able to meet them all casually again before the intense studying and training that awaited you all 

bakugou, on the other hand, wasn’t too excited

frankly, he could do without seeing the class before school

but when he heard you were going to be there, he also agreed to go

so there you two were with the rest of the class at a cinema buying drinks and popcorn before your movie started

the neon lights and the prospect of popcorn lit up your face and bakugou couldn’t help but stare

there was just something, something he couldn’t quite figure out

it’s not that you were beautiful, it’s not that you looked cute in that outfit, it’s not that your smile was making his heart flutter

no it wasnt any of that true though they may be

you just.. you looked nice

thats why he was staring

yeah he hasn’t seen you in a while and you come back looking *nice* 

of course he would stare

anyone would

apparently you had noticed him staring though, so you sent a wink and a grin his way before turning back to the popcorn and drinks

in other words, you killed him

with ridiculously high levels of cute and nice

kirishima and sero were just watching the whole thing happen and hell was it obvious to them

their boi was falling hard

now they knew he’d never admit it and they knew you weren’t likely to do anything about his “crush” even if it was obvious to you too

so…

while bakugou was busy helping you carry your popcorn, they devised a rather devious plan

operation: jelly burst

objective? none other than to make explody boiy jealous

for what reason? no reason really it’s just fun to mess with him and this is probably the first time he’s had this big a crush

once everyone finished buying popcorn and was walking into the cinema, operation: jelly burst was put into action

“hey y/n ! come sit next to me” — sero

so you did, nothing strange bout that, sero was a good of yours anyway, nothing strange at all

bakugou moved to come sit next to you too but kiri hurried past him and sat down on your other side before he could

“oh hey bakubro didn’t see ya there sorry”

the seat kirishima stole was the last seat on the aisle

and bakugou was forced to go sit somewhere else

alone

poor guy</3

the seat he found was a few rows above yours though and all went according to the jelly burst plan

by the end of the movie, bakugou was in the foulest mood and no one, except for the 2 lads sitting on either side of y/n, knew why

operation: jelly burst didnt end there though

see they got him jelly but they haven’t gotten him to burst

the next week at school, kirishima and sero both acted really nice to you

it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary but they did talk to you just a tad bit more than usual

either way bakugou noticed big time and he did not like it

he did not like it one bit

the jelly was there alright

it was just boiling to unprecedented levels

pretty soon, the boys dumped the idea of operation: jelly burst 

mainly cos it was taking too long 

but also because bakugou had become at least 10x more hostile

except to you of course

for some reason, a reason absolutely no one could figure out(sarcasm intended), he was just

quiet around you

didnt yell but didnt really talk to you either

whenever anyone else, kiri and sero especially, tried to talk to him though, he’d shout louder and be a lot ruder to them 

he’s just agitated

and he knew why he was that way

he’s just in denial about it

he’s also in denial about the reason why

why couldn’t he just accept his feelings and act on it already?

kirishima asked him that one day in the dorms

he saw bakugou staring very intensely straight at you without blinking for a full minute

“look man, don’t even try to tell me you don’t like y/n. it’s obvious and i’m not an idiot. you aren’t either.”

“i know shitty hair. it’s just… i’m me. and she’s y/n. nothing’s ever gonna happen.”

“you don’t know that”

“but i do. cmon, she’s just so fucking perfect even with all her flaws. and i’m just the loud guy with exploding hands and no emotions.”

kiri was surprised honestly

this wouldn’t be the first time bakugou was insecure around him but the way bakugou talked about you and how he implied he wasn’t worthy

damn that hit kirishima 

“bakubro, i’m gonna help you”

STAGE IV ( intimacy ) ;

ever since he told kirishima abt what’s been bothering him about you and ever since kirishima declared he’d help, bakugou became more…

quiet

he was still loud, but he just became a soft kind of loud now(?)

it was like he got calmer and he was assured that things would be okay

of course things were not okay

why? because ever since bakugou fully accepted his feelings for you, he doesnt know how to act around you

the other day you asked him what he wanted to eat for dinner cause you were cooking tonight

his answer:

“you”

“umm..”

“-you can make anything you want. i’ll eat whatever.”

that and a lot of other little awkward incidents started occurring

also maybe it was just the weather but he always seemed red whenever you saw him

it wasn’t the weather though

it was him being shy and nervous and flustered

which made bakusquad extremely weirded out cause seeing him like that is like seeing aizawa cheerfully smiling and wearing bright color clothes

it was weird af and was just not right

anyway, mina’s advice to him was to try to get closer to you

“but we’re already close”

“no i mean closer on a personal level. ask her how her day was or ask her random stuff about her likes and dislikes or her hobbies or literally anything”

“oh… ok then”

and so he tried that

he tried getting closer to you by greeting you every morning and sometimes asking you if you slept well

you found it odd

it certainly was odd, but you didn’t mind

if you ask him why he asks about your sleep he just goes red and says he needs to make sure his opponent for his afternoon sparring session is well-rested and healthy

speaking of the sparring sessions…

he asks you to spar more often than usual and actually makes small talk during your breaks

he was also a lot nicer to you, offering to help carry stuff for you and assisting you in the little things

like getting a mug from the kitchen’s high shelves or picking up the pencil you accidentally dropped

what he did worked though and within a few weeks, the two of you got a lot closer

the next step, as mina put it, was “making sure she knew you weren’t interested in her as a friend”

now that was hard for bakugou to do

“it’s not that hard. you could just tell her.”

bakugou: ..??

“basically confess”

bakugou: wha- *shortcircuits*

CONFESSING

he never thought about that

he actually has

he knew in his mind he’d have to do it eventually if he wanted to have you

but he didn’t think it would be *this soon*

“dont think that much and just tell her you like her”

“you’re making it sound easy”

“because it is!”

he groaned internally

he’s faced tons of villains and been in quite the number of fearful situations but the fear he felt now was completely different 

“look if you’re afraid of rejection just confess like this”

*sero clears throat*

“*y/n i like you and i would like to be something more than friends. i’m not going to pressure you into anything so if yoh don’t want to we can just pretend this never happened>:)”

“...”

bakugou ended up confessing the next day though

just not like that

it was a spur of a moment thing and he wasn’t really aware he said it until you responded

the two of you were sparring as usual and you had just gotten close enough to knock him down and pin him to the ground

in that moment you were just so beautiful and amazing and everything and he just couldn’t keep it in apparently 

“i like you”

“w-what?”

“what?”

“did you just say you liked me?”

“like not liked dumbass”

“:o present tense o:”

well long story short, you like him too and you tell him that and you two just sit there grinning like idiots 

from then on things didn’t change much

you and bakugou still talked, although maybe more than usual

and still sparred with each other, although maybe less seriously and more playfully

some were surprised when it became known you were together

some weren’t 

whatever other people thought though, they couldn’t deny one thing:

bakugou looked at you as if you were the world

STAGE ∞︎ ( fallen ) .

note ; i started writing this soo long ago but then abandoned it cuz thats just me:”] bUT i decided that since its his birthday i might as well finish it up and finally post it u.u,,, also TYSM @animebsposts for helping me with this ily and ur amazing<3

taglist ; ( send ask to be added ! ) @lilikags​

[lavellander]

hello im feeling extra “touch the stove”-y today so. i was looking for any dialogue where solas just straight up lies and (of what i could find online/transcribed, obv) i didnt find anything that was 100% untrue. he’ll completely avoid the question, change the subject, give part of the truth, etc etc etc, but nothing was just Entirely A Lie

what really gets me is that there’s a handful of convos where someone infers something from what solas says, and he will even point out that he didn’t directly say that. like, he tells people how to see through his shit, lmao

here is an embarrassingly long ass list of examples, all sorted by what kind of not-lying he’s doing lol, just bc i am unhinged<3

*note that some of these are cut from longer bits of dialogue or have been split up from one conversation into different categories*

literally just Not Answering The Question lol

Dorian: How much “will” do they have? They’re amorphous constructs of the Fade. Solas: Hmm.

Dorian: Solas, have I offended you? Solas: If you have, why would it concern you?

Dorian: Solas, what is this whole look of yours about? Solas: I’m sorry? Dorian: No, that outfit is sorry. What are you supposed to be, some kind of woodsman? Dorian: Is it a Dalish thing? Don’t you dislike the Dalish? Or is it some kind of statement? Solas: No.

Dorian: Let me get this straight, Solas. Dorian: You’re an apostate – neither Dalish nor city elf – who lived alone in the woods studying spirits. Solas: Is that a problem for you?

Solas: [has a whole tactical moment about the red jennies lmao] Sera: Where d’you get all this, then? Solas: Do you wish to be unnerved by another tale of my explorations of the Fade? Or do you wish to learn something?

Vivienne: You must be pleased with what was revealed at the Temple of Mythal, Solas. Solas: Why should those ruins please me, Enchanter?

changing the subject before he backs himself into a corner

Gatt: I don’t see any tattoos, but you’re carrying a staff. Are you from a Chantry Circle? Solas: No. And I would prefer not to discuss it.

Solas: I find the fall of the dwarven lands confusing. Varric: What’s so confusing about endless darkspawn? Solas: A great deal, although that is a different matter.

giving the truth, but not the whole truth

Blackwall: Skyhold. How did you find it? Solas: I looked. Blackwall: Now you sound like Cole. You looked? Solas: This world is full of wonders for those who seek them.

Blackwall: You spoke of seeing death and destruction. Did you fight in a war? Solas: There are struggles across Thedas at any given time. I doubt you would have heard of it. Blackwall: An elven skirmish? Solas: In a manner of speaking, yes.

Cassandra: Solas, have you always lived alone? Out in the wilderness, as an apostate? Solas: For the most part.

Cassandra: Have you ever encountered templars before? Solas: Only at a distance. I am an apostate, after all. Cassandra: And they never caught you even once? Solas: I am a very careful apostate.

Dorian: We found elves, living ancient elves, at the Temple of Mythal. Does that bother you, Solas? If Inquisitor allied with the Sentinels: Solas: I am pleased we were not forced to kill them, if that’s what you mean.

Iron Bull: You’ve got an odd style, Solas. Your spells are a bit different from the Circle mages or the Vints. Solas: That comes from being self-taught. Solas: I discovered most of my magic on my own, or learned it from my journeys in the Fade.

Vivienne: So, an apostate? Solas: That is correct, Enchanter. I did not train in your Circle.

Solas: You are a man who made a choice... possibly the first of your life. Iron Bull: I’ve always liked fighting. What if I turn savage, like the other Tal-Vashoth? Solas: You have the Inquisition, you have the Inquisitor... and you have me.

from cutscene at beginning Inquisitor: [mentions the anchor closing a rift] Solas: Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach's wake – and it seems I was correct.

from cutscene at beginning Solas: [to a Dalish Inq] You are Dalish, but clearly away from the rest of your clan. Did they send you here? Inquisitor: What do you know of the Dalish? Solas: I have wandered many roads in my time, and crossed paths with your people on more than one occasion. Inquisitor: [Crossed paths? dialogue choice] Solas: I mean that I offered to share knowledge, only to be attacked for no greater reason than their superstition.

from “I’d like to know more about you” convo in Haven Inquisitor: What made you start studying the Fade? Solas: I grew up in a village to the north. There was little to interest a young man, especially one gifted with magic. But as I slept, spirits of the Fade showed me glimpses of wonders I had never imagined. I treasured my dreams. Being awake, out of the Fade, became troublesome.

actually telling the truth but no one picks up on the gravity of it

Solas: [...] I believe the elven gods existed, as did the old gods of Tevinter. But I do not think any of them were gods, unless you expand the definition of the word to the point of absurdity. I appreciate the idea of your Maker, a god that does not need to prove his power. I wish more such gods felt the same. Cassandra: You have seen much sadness in your journeys, Solas. Following the Maker might offer some hope. Solas: I have people, Seeker. The greatest triumphs and tragedies this world has known can all be traced to people.

Cole: No, inside. I don’t hear your hurt as much. Your song is softer, subtler, not silent but still. Solas: How small the pain of one man seems when weighted against the endless depths of memory, of feeling, of existence. That ocean carries everyone. And those of us who learn to see its currents move through life with their fewer ripples.

Cole: You didn’t do it to be right. You did it to save them. Inquisitor: Solas, what is Cole talking about? Solas: A mistake. One of many made by a much younger elf who was certain he knew everything.

Solas: Empires rise and fall. Arlathan was no more “innocent” than your own Tevinter in its time. Solas: Your nostalgia for the ancient elves, however romanticized, is pointless.

Solas: Our people used to be here. Sera: Pfft, you say that everywhere. Solas: It is more true than you want to believe.

Vivienne: You must be pleased, apostate. With the Templars dissolved, your rebels will be most difficult to pacify. Solas: My rebels? Am I an agent for their cause, whispering poison into the Inquisition’s ears? Solas: How comforting. Vivienne: You enjoy seeing yourself as a villain? Solas: No more than any other clever man who wonders what he could do if pushed.

Vivienne: [about the Temple of Mythal] Now you know the elves were once a mighty nation. Solas: I always knew, Enchanter. The Temple of Mythal is just another reminder of what was lost.

(in the Emerald Graves): These forests have changed much since I was last here.

during the Fade!Haven cutscene Solas: It seems you hold the key to our salvation. You had sealed it with a gesture... and right then, I felt the whole world change. Inquisitor: [romance option] “Felt the whole world change?” Solas: A figure of speech. Inquisitor: I’m aware of the metaphor. I’m more interested in felt. Solas: You change... everything.

pointing out that people assume he means things he did not directly say

Cole: There is pain though, still within you. Solas: And I never said there was not.

Solas: You may well become fully human, after all. I never thought to see it. Cole: When did you see it before? Solas: I did not say that I had.

Iron Bull: We’ve got the alliance with my people. Given how much you love the Qun, I figured... Solas: I might scold you? Berate you for your decisions? Iron Bull: Hey. The Chargers died as heroes for the good of the mission. Solas: I never said otherwise.

Sera: Don’t you start. Solas: I’m reasonably certain I said nothing.

Vivienne: [talking shit about grey warden mages] Solas: I never claimed mages should be above the law, Enchanter. Vivienne: No, darling. You merely implied it, while offering no viable suggestions for improvement.

after infamous “side benefits” dialogue Warrior Inquisitor: You find my muscles enjoyable? Solas: I meant that you enjoyed having them, presumably. Warrior Inquisitor: Ah. Solas: But yes... since you asked.

diminishing things he does actually know by saying he he “believes” or “thinks,” or that things were vaguely “said” or “told”

Solas: I say what I believe to be true, even if it gives offense to those who prefer the lie.

Dorian: That orb Corypheus carries... are you certain it’s of elven origin, Solas? Solas: I believe so. Why do you ask?

Solas: It is said that we lived at a pace that sustained us for... ages.

making it sound like he’s talking about something/someone else, but it’s just him lmao

Cole: Do you know a lot about wolves? Solas: I know that they are intelligent, practical creatures that small-minded fools think of as terrible beasts.

Solas: No man can kill so many people without breaking inside. To survive... those you fight must become monsters. Iron Bull: The ones that kill innocent people, yeah. The rest... I don’t know. Solas: The mind does marvelous things to protect itself.

during In Hushed Whispers Inquisitor: I’m glad you understood what he just said because I’m not sure I did. Solas: You would think such understanding would stop me from making such terrible mistakes. You would be wrong.

misc

this one i wanted to include because it’s the only circumstance (that i came across) where someone directly asks solas to lie and he literally says he can’t

during the fucking crestwood breakup scene Inquisitor: [angry option] Tell me you don’t care. Solas: I can’t do that. Inquisitor: Tell me I was some casual dalliance so I can call you a cold-hearted son of a bitch and move on! Solas: I’m sorry.

*also note that most of these are banter transcriptions from the wiki; some are cutscene / other dialogue posted by either @/daitranscripts or u/karinini on reddit; it’s not all his cutscenes obv, but I’m not about to look up every single one individually sdlkfj*

[wizkiddx]

worst case scenario part 3

umm so, never ever intended it to be this long but here we are. again this is v dark so please please read the warning!! also [and obvs] this is very medically inaccurate and just a work of my head aha

[part 1] [part 2]

warning: mentions of death / hospital / mentions of childhood abandonment too- please don't read if this could affect you <3

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His heart was thundering in his chest, so much so it drowned out all other sounds making all the doctors words fade into the background. Conciously, he really was trying to listen to what the doctor was saying; consciously he knew she was trying to prepare him to see Y/n; consciously he knew she knew he wasn’t okay. But really? It didn’t matter, and as they drew closer to his fiancé Tom felt an urgent sense of relief purely know she was there. She was there and she wasn’t dead…yet. 

Only two people were allowed to go up, just because the nature of the ward - everything was meticulously controlled, including the comings and goings of visitors. If you’ve never been in an ICU it’s a pretty hard environment to describe. Really, it’s just another hospital ward, with capacity of about 20 beds. Each bed has much more equipment surrounding that the average and a nurse is stationed per patient, monitoring every possible variable that the machienes are measuring, so any trend (either positive or negative) can be identified at the earliest point. Though in everyones head, it seems as though ICU is a common place ending up for some unfortunate sod when something bad happens, it’s actually really rare for someone to be so ill and dependant on medicine to maintain normal body functioning. Only the most severe trauma, infection of the most dangerous microorganism, surgery of such high stakes normally make an appearance on the ward. And ,on average, between 8-20% patients that are admitted to an ICU never make it out. 

And those grim figures were unignorable to anyone. As soon as you walk through the doors, the atmosphere is intense and ineffable. It’s not spoken, but is so incredibly morbid it makes anyone shiver. 

Dom felt this, squeezing his sons shoulder as he followed Tom and the doctor, just a pace or so behind them. Having offered to go with Tom, whilst Harrison took Nikki to see the baby, Dom was now feeling just as clueless as his son did. Except he was actually listening to what the doctor was trying to warn them about and it scared him. The three, made it to the door and with a swipe of her ID card the doctor admitted the Holland men in. Gratefully, none of the staff took any notice of who was walking in, they were much too busy for that - Dom was incredibly relieved, had someone recognised Tom when he was in this state, god knows what would’ve happened.

The doctors pace was with purpose, perhaps so that the two couldn’t spend too long ogling the other patients in the beds - who all looked almost unhuman with the amount of tubes and wires coming out and into them. But then, she slowed up, halting infront of a bay about 5 or 6 down the ward. Spinning on her heel and with a subtle nod to momentarily release the nurse from her post at Y/n’s bedside, to give them a bit of privacy, she looked at the two men. 

“You can touch her, just be gentle with the wires.”

Shellshocked and terrified, Tom was frozen those 2 metres away from the bed barely able to see her face over all the equipment. Yet undoubtedly, it was his finance’s delicate visage lying on the white pillow, with a thick white mouthpiece and tube covering her mouth and stuffed into her nose. Not able to move, both Dom and Dr Goodwell sensitively waited - it was an adjustment to say the least, seeing someone you knew so well look so different. With quiet tears starting to roll down his eyes, Tom eventually started to inch toward the bedside, taking his time to try and absorb everything of this frankly ridiculous situation. He couldn’t get over how, even considering it all, above her nose it just looked like Y/n. Like she was asleep in their bed, eyes closed as if she had once again  fallen asleep infront of a random Netflix movie Tom had bugged her enough to watch in bed. And it was, ever so slightly comforting. That was still her, that was still the love of his life lying there. And she was still alive - which given the last few hours, was enough. 

Reaching the bedside, Tom naturally reached out and stroked the top of her head delicately, pulling into place a few rogue strands that seemed to have a mind of their own - she had always hated when her hair got frizzy. The picture had Tom’s mind casting back to their first holiday, a serene if quick few days in Fiji-  though Y/n didnt know this , that holiday had been one of the most important times in their relationship for Tom. Until then, given the nature of his job, the couple had only ever managed brief periods together. They spent time together as and when they could in between Tom’s busy schedule but it was never as long as they’d like. Somehow though, he’d managed to squeeze a few days away to surprise Y/n with the trip. 

It was everything he’d ever hoped it would be and more. In fact it was then Tom was oh so sure he would be spending the rest of his life with her. This thought crossed his mind on the last morning, when he had for once woken up before Y/n - her head mere cms away from his on the pillow. Just like now, her hair had been all over the place and her sparkling green eyes locked shut. Contrastingly though, in Fiji the sight had made him smile softly; now it just made him cry again. 

“Would you like a minute alone Mr Holland? We will just wait outside?” Not even turning round to properly respond to the doctor, Tom just nodded violently, not taking his eyes off his fiancé - waiting till he heard his Dad and the doctor leave the bay; then the curtains be completely drawn to a close, before he shakily cleared his throat to whisper.

“Hey darling… you um-you’ve scared me shitless today… and… and I’m supposed to be the dramatic one in the relationship.” Chuckling wetly, Tom clasped his other hand in Y/n’s - still mindful of the IV port coming out of the top of her wrist. Not that he was expecting any sort of response, yet the lack of her squeezing his hand back still had his heart sink. “Look I…I love you so bloody much and I really need you to get better okay? You’ve never listened to me before but I really am begging you to now, I just.” Swallowing thickly, he shut his eyes momentarily and delicately rested his forehead on hers - his touch feather light. Just needing to feel her. “I just really need you and I really love you., okay?” 

Unsurprisingly he didn’t get a response. The rhetorical question hung in the air alone, safe the mechanical whir of the ventilator and various chimes of the machines and monitor, till his Dad came in. Grasping and squeezing his shoulder lightly, Dom provided the stimulus for his son to unfold from over the bed, standing upright, as both men just took in the sight of Y/n lying there for a minute or two. 

“I need her Dad. I-I-“

“I know Tom.” Speaking so quietly it was barely audible, Dom’s eventual agreement at what Tom was saying was in a way a relief. Haz and his mum had both either been saying or implying that they would be okay no matter what - which came from a good place but was so infuriating. Because god forbid, if this situation got worse Tom knew it wouldn’t be okay. Nothing would ever be okay again. So his Dad’s simple acknowledgment meant a lot, causing Tom to turn round and embrace his slightly shorter father. 

Dr Goodwell silently watched the exchange for a short while and once the men eventually pulled away she stepped forward to give some more information. She went through what all the biggest and scary looking tubes and wires were doing for Y/n, before explaining the next steps. 

“Now as I said before we are sedating her at the moment, while we wait and see if she gets any complications from the surgery that are better treated while she is asleep. By this afternoon we will have a clearer idea and by that point we may choose to withdraw that sedation. It’s important that you are aware though that she might not wakeup immediately. Sometimes some people that have suffered similarly to your fiancé will be unconscious for a while in what I’d presume you’ve heard of as a ‘coma’. Now it’s not as dramatic as you see on TV shows, it’s just Ms Y/l/n’s brain giving her body a chance to recover. It’s often a longer process, which I know is something you don’t want to hear, but I have to be honest.” The doctor was stern but in a softer and from-a-caring-place. “These patients are suggested to possibly recover quicker if they have a steady support network behind them, which it seems like she does. That means that you need to look after yourself so you can help her sir, especially in what could be a long process. It’s not going to be helpful for Yn if you’re killing yourself trying to be here all the time… It seems like Y/n already has quite a big group of you here for her, so please remember you’ve got all of her care team here and everyone else to help you too….Does that make sense sir?”

“Tom” His Dad, in a gentle but firm warning tone, urged Tom to speak and to listen. Properly listen. 

“Yeh… I-yeh It’s just all a lot right now.”

“Of course… and we promise that if anything changes with her condition, you will be phoned straight away. You are welcome to stay as long as you want - the only rules are two at a time, no flowers, sign in and out and then sanitise your hands pretty excessively. If you need anything, Ms Y/l/n’s nurse will be your first port of call.”

“Thanks for everything” Dom nodded in a gracious manner, which the doctor seemed to massively appreciate - apparently, for the job they do not receiving a hell of a lot of thanks. 

“I’ll pop back in a little bit.”

And for a couple of hours everything everything felt like a bit of an anticlimax, nothing happened, not a lot changed. Just Tom and Dom sat next to Y/n’s bed in silence; Harrison and Nikki downstairs with the baby, till Dom got a phone call from Nikki asking them to meet at the neonatal unit  - which was limited by visitor numbers unlike the ICU. Thinking it’d be simple, the elder man gained Tom’s attention with a call of his name, explaining they should go down to meet up. 

“I’m not going down there.”

“Son, I know you’re worried by Y/n isnt going anywhere right now. The doctors said they’d call you if anything happens.”

“It’s not-“ Tom stopped himself, biting his tongue and looking away from his Dad. “I just don’t want to go down there.” Slowly, Dom was more and more realising Tom’s thought process and honestly… it scared him. In the hopes this was just a big misunderstanding he offered a different option - hoping Tom would equally refuse that. Dom suggested going down to the cafe instead, which most unfortunately Tom agreed to. It wasn’t leaving Y/n that was the issue, it was being near the baby. 

Tom’s daughter. Unnamed and apparently abondoned by both parents. 

Anyhow, Dom resigned to playing into Tom’s choice, perhaps Nikki and Harrison would be able to swing him round, to see sense. It still took Tom getting the nurse to triple check they had his correct number on record , just in case, before Dom could tear him away from the bed. Fortunately the pair found a quiet and secluded corner table, where Tom was still yet to be recognised, while Nikki and Haz found them too. 

What followed was Tom answering all his mum and Harrison’s questions about Y/n’s condition, in a blunt and emotionless manner - without Tom returning fire by asking any questions at all about his beautiful little baby girl. Eventually Nikki braved it, someone had to bring it up. 

“Well it sounds like littles going to change for a while… maybe you should head home for a bit? You’ve been up half the night and you look shattered love. You don’t have to go back to yours… you could stay in your old room for a bit?” Tom being by himself at the moment sounded like the most incredibly stupid idea ever, Nikki was offering it as a choice - when in reality there was only one option.

“Maybe later this evening I will? Just don’t want to leave her alone yet.”

“It’s already 7 love, you’ve not eaten all day, you got to look after yourself too.” Harrison and Dom sat awkwardly while Nikki tried to delicately encourage Tom into what was the only sensible plan, watching him nurse the small hot choclate in both his palms. Time really had lost all meaning at this point, for him it felt both years since he’d first arrived with Y/n and at the same time barely 10 minutes ago. It felt weird. 

“We can take shifts? If-if you want someone with her I mean… I don’t mind staying for a bit longer if it means you head back to your parents.” Harrison really truly didnt mind, in fact he sort of wanted to. He wanted to see Y/n’s face definitely alive, wanted to feel reassured by the monitors. Shockingly, Tom slowly nodded his head, surprising everyone with his lack of argument. None of them could work out whether it was a good thing him not putting up much arguement ; either he was heeding everyones advice of taking care of himself - or he had just given up. Harrison, as much as he didn’t want to, was favouring the latter. 

“Okay” Nikki declared optimistically “So maybe you and Harrison go up so you can say good night to Y/n, then we can all go and pick up the baby?” She opened the plan to the floor, allowing for input but got nothing - except maybe Tom’s jaw unconsciously tensing uncomfortable at the latter part of her statement. Dom noticed. 

Not one noticed but knew what it meant. His son blamed his granddaughter. His son, right now in that moment, hated the unnamed and totally helpless baby girl. 

part 4?

[xpeachesncream]

Hi love!!!! Can write a drabble of prefectly wrong tae where it’s YN birthday and he has a romantic night night planned 🤩

perfectly wrong | drabble [5]: when your birthday takes an unexpected turn. 

word count: 2.0k

warnings: not much honestly besides cussing, very brief implied smut and a fluffy/sweet tae. (i didnt want to focus too much on adding smut towards the end because i really wanted this to be cute lmao)

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BABY!" Jungkook tooted the little toy horn, along with Yoongi, Hoseok and Jin throwing confetti in the air and tossing their small paper birthday hats in the air. Jin had closed down the cafe for majority of the afternoon just so you and your friends could spend time together in a private setting. Your friends and Jin spent quite some time decorating the studio in all sorts of decorations and balloons, plus you were fed your favorite foods and dessert. You slipped yourself into a simple, black camisole dress since the boys stated they "wanted to dress up for your birthday so you should too." You agreed without any complaints, although you wished Taehyung was around to see you. You were actually a little bummed despite it being your birthday, since Taehyung had gone off on a quick camping trip with Jimin and Namjoon. You couldn't say much being that he had already promised he'd go way before you two had gotten together. He was supposed to be back later today, but you hadn't heard much from him and the hope in you was dwindling down.

Oh well. I mean, you have your boyfriend on other days, right?

"Aiiiiiish, cheer up Y/N. I hate when you're sad. It's your birthday." Jin engulfs you in a big bear hug. Little did you know, all your friends had something up their sleeves and they would never let you be this upset on your birthday.

"I'm sorry, I know. I'm really happy to be here with you guys. I just.. miss Tae."

"He'll be back soon, right?" Kook pinches your cheek. "He's not going to miss out on your birthday, Y/N."

"I know, it just feels incomplete without him."

"You're a weenie." Yoongi said, running away from the attempted hit you tried to throw at his arm. "Aghhh I'm kidding. You mean everything to that guy, he wouldn't do that." He throws his arms around your neck and tightly hugs you. The rest of the time, you all are finishing up the food and desserts all while they watch you open the presents they've gotten you.

When packing up the things into Jungkook's car, you realize Tae still hasn't texted you or updated you about when he'd be back. You felt like texting him, but at the same time, you didn't wanna bother him, so you leave it be and slightly sulk in the passenger's seat.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jungkook asks, keeping his eyes on the road.

"I don't think Tae is going to make it back today." You look as the sun is setting.

"He hasn't updated you?" Jungkook purses his lips together, afraid he'd laugh or bust into a big smile and give away your surprise.

"No." You pout in your seat, throwing your knees up to your chest.

"I'm sure he'll make it up to you. You know that, right?"

"Mhm." Is all you say. You lean your head against the window, unsure if you're more sad or upset about how this day actually turned out. Then, you suddenly realize that Jungkook is completely passing your exit and taking you deeper into town. "Kook, where are you going?"

"I just have one more surprise for you."

"What is it?"

"We planned hard for this, so don't even think about it." He turns to you with a blank expression before returning his attention back to the road. You were getting a little restless, being that you were already slightly annoyed and in your feelings about your boyfriend.

"Where are we goiiiinggggg?" You whine, the ride almost taking an hour.

"We're almost there, jeeeeeez." Kook's tone rose as he pulled up on a street full of beach vacation homes and bungalows, the beach right in their backyards. Why you were here, you had no idea. Quite frankly, you weren't really in the mood to do a bonfire with your friends.

"What am I doing here?"

"Honestly, if you don't chill out, I will drop your ass off right here." Jungkook playfully says, stopping the car deadass in the middle of the road. "Finished?" You roll your eyes as you lean back and let him continue driving a little further down the street. He pulled up in front of a house that was completely dark, it's surroundings quiet besides the waves crashing against the shore. Jungkook pulls out his phone for a quick minute before he turns to you and smiles. "Okay, I'll be in there in a minute, I'm gonna grab all your things. You can go up first though."

"Why can't I just wait for you?"

"And do what? You're not gonna be carrying a thing." He laughed and shrugged. "Just go in, it'll be fine."

"Fine." He snorts, pretending to hop out and get your gifts even though he's not gonna do a damn thing and just bring it over to your place himself.

You walk into the bungalow, a little afraid of how dark it is. The entrance leads into the small kitchen and living room area, and there isn't anything in sight besides one lit candle on the kitchen counter top. You make your way over, noticing a note in front of the candle.

Follow the candles to find me.

"What is this?" You hear the soft humming of 112's Cupid coming from the bedroom, you assume, which is where the candles lead to. There were small, tea light candles in a single formation, leading towards the room, with rose petals accompanying them on the sides. You push open the sliding doors, only to see a room lit with candles left and right, rose petals and plastic tea light candles in the form of a heart on the bed. The ceiling was covered in red heart balloons, and the table at the end of the bed had a small cake, with chocolate covered strawberries on a platter next to it.

But that's not really what caught your attention the most - it was your handsome boyfriend, standing at the end of the bed, holding a huge bouquet of red roses. He had on a black button up shirt, the sleeves rolled up close to the elbow, black pants and boots on. His curly hair fixed and all proper, a smile on his face as he tilted his head and looked at you up and down.

Like a goddess in his eyes.

"W-what?" Is all you can say as he approaches you. "W-what are you doing here? I thought you were gone."

"Did you really think I'd miss out on my babygirl's birthday?" The tears are streaming down now, and he can't help but laugh a little. He sets the bouquet down to wipe the tears coming down from your eyes, his thumbs gently swiping across your skin.

"I really missed you."

"Aw, baby." He says, kissing you softly on the forehead. "I'm here now." You can't do anything but pout in his hands as he cups your cheek and smiles down at you. "Happy birthday, love."

"When did you plan this? Did the rest of the guys know?" He nods.

"Sure did."

"I'm gonna kill Kook." He laughs.

"Don't do that." He takes your hand and takes you over to the table where your cake is. "Come."" He sets a single candle onto the cake, lighting it with the lighter he pulled from his pocket. "It's your favorite cake." Your eyes light up as you look at him.

"Tres Leches?!" He nods as you squeal and clap. Good lord, you loved Tres Leches cake. Tae knew that too, being that's the only dessert you ever talked about. He traveled around just to find the right one for you.

"Made sure I found the right one for you." He gently caresses the small of your back. "Make a wish." You silently stand there, hands clasped together while your eyes are shut. This day took an unexpected turn and you couldn't have asked for anything else. Part of you was upset that Taehyung was really going to miss out on your birthday. You didn't wanna be that girlfriend though, being that his friends also meant a lot to him. Your birthday was just your birthday and he could easily make it up if he wanted to.

But to Taehyung, this wasn't just a birthday. He really wanted to make this night special for you and he took weeks to plan this out perfectly - looping in all your friends, Jimin and Namjoon, spending bills to reserve this bungalow for a weekend getaway, the decorations, the roses, the cake, planning how the surprise would go down, everything. He didn't care how much effort it took. He just needed this to be perfect for you. He wanted to show you what you truly meant to him, even though he tries his best to do that every single day, birthday or not. Honestly, the rest of the night, he doesn't have much planned besides making you comfortable. He just wants you to relax, whether that meant cuddling in bed with him playing in your hair, or if it meant other things. Whatever you wanted, he was here to give it.

You make your wish, Taehyung instantly pulling you into a deep, passionate kiss afterwards. You throw your arms around his neck, his hands caressing your sides as he looks down at you.

"Hungry?" He asks.

"Not right now." You look out onto the patio that overlooked the beach. You make your way over,  Taehyung silently following behind you. The breeze was picking up quite a bit, but the sound of the waves were too relaxing for you to care. You leaned against the railing, Taehyung coming from behind, placing a kiss on the back of your head before he rubs your arms.

"Cold?"

"It's alright."

"You sure?" He chuckles.

"Maybeeee." He doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around you, placing kisses along your temple as his hands rest on your arms and hold you tightly. "Thank you for all of this, babe. How'd you pull this off?"

"Mm, I have my ways." He laughs. "Anything for my lady." You smile into the kiss he places on your cheek, feeling overjoyed by the love and care this man is showering you in. "What do you wanna do for the rest of the night?"

"Besides each other? Watch a movie, cuddle." He laughs and nods.

"Sounds like a good plan."

You look down at your dress, realizing you were probably gonna go into the weekend with one outfit. "Except, I don't--" He shakes his head, pointing towards the bathroom. You walk over from the patio and into the bathroom to see your duffle bag packed of clothes, your skincare and necessary toiletries lining the bathroom counter. Hanging from the bathroom's storage closet are two silk robes, a pink one for you and a black one for him. "Hey, how'd you know what to bring?"

"I pay attention."

"I really do love you." Is all you can say when you look at him.

"I really do love you, too." He chuckles. You two get into your robes and make your way to the bed, Taehyung making sure to arrange the petals and candles around the floor of the bed before pouring you and him a glass of champagne. You bring the platter of chocolate covered strawberries in front of you as he pulls up a light-hearted movie for you two to watch. You both finish the champagne bottle and the chocolate strawberries as the movie progresses, the exhaustion slowly hitting you after eating such luxuries. You laid on your side, your head resting on Taehyung's lap as he sat up against the headboard. Your eyes began to shut as his hands gently stroked your hair and massaged your scalp.

"Tae." You say softly.

"Mhm?"

"How did I get so lucky?"

"You didn't, I did." He chuckles. "I hope you enjoy this weekend with me."

"Of course I will."

"Good." He looks down at you as he continues to play with your hair. "Happy birthday again, baby. I hope you know how much you mean to me." You look up at him before sitting up to kiss him and straddle his lap, figuring it was time you showered him with your appreciation. You undo the robe, letting it fall of your shoulders as Taehyung watches and marvels at the sight of your exposed chest. He wastes no time gripping you closely as you kiss him, his hands softly traveling to caress your entire body, feeling you as if he needed to prove to himself that this was real - that you were real. 

He could never get enough of you.

[blu-eh]

ok its 12:30 am but i watched raya and the last dragon for the second time today and there are still some parts that like. i just Dont Understand so my Thoughts (tm) about the movie under the cut. spoilers, obviously

- firstly: sword lesbians. thats all

- disney is too much of a coward to make them actual lesbians so they went the queer baiting route instead. i see you disney. we all see you. 

- honestly, watching the movie, the dragon designs did not bother me as much as i thought they would. like, i very much think they could have been better but at the same time...they were not horrible. so that was cool. i rlly liked the scene where sisu was swimming. compared to moana though, some of the water animation was weird like characters should’ve appeared wet when they werent but...water is hard to animate so 

-animation was on point oh my god. it was a really visually beautiful movie. i thought the dragon designs clashed with the human design but it wasnt like, the worst. 

-it was a COOL world. i wouldve loved to learn more about it

-captain boun was my favorite character and i adore him. i would adopt him

-found family. nice

-the asian culture was SO cool. loved that. i love the things they incorporated 

-that scene with raya, boun, and sisu on the boat where they put the flowers in the water was SO good. i loved that

-also loved the scene where sisu reveals her dragon form, like, can we say...... iconic

-but there were plot holes/things i did not understand oh my god and i cant tell if this is a cultural thing or if the movie didnt explain it well or if i just missed things but:

-like what IS the plague (i forgot the name)???? WHY does it feed on humans?? where did it come from?? “born from human discord” is cool and all but that explains. nothing. is it feeding on them?? is it even alive?? like what is the purpose? the end goal? why is it there? why does it hate water??????? if its bred by human discord, then WHY did it not show up during the literal 500 years of Actual War that happened. did the gem keep it away??? if so, why did it return???? they have been fighting a Lot Longer than that single night

-literally why did the dragons not come back the first time. i dont understand. what made it any different the second time with weaker magic??

-does this magic ball have a two time limit like...why did the magic fade. because it was cracked??? why would it start fading at that exact moment and not like, over the six years that it was cracked before. why did it still work when simple put back together like a puzzle. how did it crack so perfectly??

-i have a feeling a lot of the answers to my questions will be “magic” and idk how to feel about that

-GOING BACK TO THE WATER THING.....does sisu have powers??? the movie obviously implied she was a water dragon but we saw maybe ONE scene where she used these powers and it was literally never explained. you couldve had a cool story arc about sisu coming into her powers or having an inferiority complex because her siblings have powers but she doesn’t (which could tie in to why it was such a big deal that they trusted her) but like....we dont see that at all and im still confused on that aspect 

- nine main characters (raya, boun, tong, noi, the three monkeys, sisu, and namaari) is a LOT to balance. i had to google everyones name just now besides boun & raya because i literally could not keep up with a cast that big. like, they were fine main characters but a couple of them just felt...flat (ie tong & noi & the monkey things. im not even sure why the monkeys were there). its a struggle too because a couple of them didnt even show up until more than half way through the movie so.

- the movie was very heavy handed on the theme of “trust” which like, yes, good theme but honestly if someone backstabbed me not once but TWICE.....i would not trust them. ALMOST THREE TIMES. plus, like trust almost got sisu killed in talon so.....idk what the purpose of that scene was??? it seemed very much the opposite of the theme.....but also there is such a huge differences between trusting your brothers and sisters (in sisu’s case) vs. trusting someone who (see: previous trust) had resulted in the “death” of your dad AND friend...like that is fundamentally different. i think the theme couldve explored “learning to trust AFTER FORGIVENESS” like there was a very weak redemption arc. idk

-what even was the fang’s leader’s plan??? “we wont give raya a choice but we will get sisu” like firstly, sisu is a dragon. she is not going anywhere unless she wants two. secondly: why?????????? and third: they literally never explain what this plan was. there is no way this woman knew that raya was just going to show up and offer her daughter a chance at redemption (which she fails. miserably. i literally dont think its raya’s fault at all for her reaction with the crossbow like......see: betrayal history and literally hunting raya down for a couple months (years?)

- WHY DID THE STONE PEOPLE FREEZE IN THAT SPECIFIC POSITION. we have LITERALLY everyone turn to stone in the same position with the cupped hands yet tong and noi and boun and namaari all just...didnt freeze in that position. i dont understand why some people were turned to stone in a specific position and some werent

-why did the water disappear after sisu “died”??? like did she truly die and the water just left because she died?? that would mean that dragons have the power to revive other dragons, but at the same time, don’t they only have a single magical power??? how does this work

-going back on the single magical power thing: HOW could all the dragons do the little flying thing??? i was under the impression that sisu could only do that AFTER she got the power from her rain brother but those other dragons were able to do it just fine. is this just a dragon thing??? can they all do this?? does this count as a single power??

-there was one point in the movie where all the dragons jumping down the cliff looked like worms on strings and i had to pause the movie because i was laughing so hard

- this wouldve been a really cool series instead of a two hour movie but i feel like they tried to fit too much into a short time frame

-i did not care for the soundtrack imo :( it was pretty disappointing 

-OVERALL i think its a FINE movie like its good and you should see it and support movies with asian casts and culture because the cultural aspect was REALLY COOL. i am just extra critical because its a disney movie but like.......i feel like disney had the funding and the team to make this movie great but didnt want to take the risk in case they lost money on it so there are a lot of things that just felt....incomplete

[amuelia]

yoooo do you think roose started being leeched after domeric died? B/c in ADWD he says something about the leeches getting rid of rage/pain, then immediately brings up domeric and how Ramsay killed him....

I personally don’t think he started leeching this late - Domeric died in 297 AC, which means at most a year before the northern plot in aGoT starts. But the way Barbrey talks about Roose, it seems to be a consistent character trait that she is used to seeing in him:

“Roose has no feelings, you see. Those leeches that he loves so well sucked all the passions out of him years ago.” - aDwD

While 297 AC is technically “years ago” from when she says this (300 AC), Roose has been in war for around 2 of these years where she didnt see him much, and before that they also didn’t live together, so he has probably been acting like that for longer than just 297 AC.

Catelyn also never comments on his paleness as though it is a new thing (though granted, we also don’t have a canon confirmation that the leeches caused it, but i think it’s likely). There’s also the line “This is a cold man, Catelyn realized, not for the first time“, which seems related to Barbrey’s assessment of him having no feelings, and also hints at him being like that for years. Not that leeches literally/biologically suck emotions of course, but Barbrey seems to connect his lack of emotions to his leeching habit as though both have been coexisting for a long time.

"My squire could take a lesson from you, it would seem. Frequent leechings are the secret of a long life.” - aCoK

"I know." Lord Bolton sighed. "His blood is bad. He needs to be leeched. The leeches suck away the bad blood, all the rage and pain. No man can think so full of anger.” - aDwD

Roose’ leeching habit is interesting because it seems to have an intersecting purpose of not only keeping his physical health, but also being a psychological crutch to keep his emotions mellow. The leeching habit itself likely started as a general caution; Roose seems to be a somewhat anxious person, with a lot of his actions centered around evading risks (stuff like sending out a decoy that wears his armor in aDwD, these grrm quotes [1] [2], his habit of hiding emotions which seems to have the purpose that people cant use them against him, his health-related food choices like drinking hippocras, being paranoid not to be poisoned in aDwD...). Events like his wife Bethany dying from a fever and his son Domeric dying from a sickness of the bowels probably made his health habits more intense (because they are events that happened to people close to him it might have increased his fear for himself), even resulting in what are probably adverse health effects in case of the leeching (which seems to make him pale due to how excessive it is, and likely makes him lack energy which could cause his quiet voice and probably even has an influence on his mellowed behaviour).

Since I generally hc that his leech habit got worse in the years after Robert’s Rebellion (not directly caused by RR, just generally getting worse with age), in pictures where he’s younger i usually give him a healthier skin tone 🤔

[Speculation, cw rape mention] I perceive it as likely that he went through somewhat of a character change, either in the years following Robert’s Rebellion or starting earlier. In the story of the miller’s wife (taking place before RR), despite current Roose trying to spin it as a rational act in his retelling, i believe we have an instance of past him acting very emotionally-driven (his retaliation to being “cheated” reads similar to ramsay being sent into a “black rage” when personally insulted). Barbrey’s statement i quoted earlier also has a tinge of bitterness to it, and it also seems Roose must have a reason to believe the leeches suck out “anger and pain”. Since Theon and Catelyn never comment on him having changed, it seems likely that he started a character change a little before Robert’s Rebellion - Though since Cat never was close to him, she’d also probably percieve changes in him more as her just adjusting the initial impression she had of him rather than an outright character development.

But i also don’t think he went through anything, like, Aeron-level drastic - he likely just took care to cultivate a very strong public persona (calm, quiet, emotionless) to avoid any risk of people reading his thoughts or him doing anything rash or embarassing. It’s also likely that age mellowed and matured him like it does most people, and the leeching may or may not have an actual physical effect that further influences his personality. While i don’t think that he was ever as bad as Ramsay (though Roose also undoubtedly did his fair share of horrifying acts), the way he gives him advice seems to show he’s under the impression that Ramsay could simply “clean up his act” (to the public eye at least), implying Roose might have done a comparable development. However, there also seems to be a frustration/disdain in Roose (considering he seems to avoid Ramsay somewhat - residing at Barrow Hall earlier in aDwD which Ramsay is banned from, indirectly sending him messages later in aDwD, and holding political meetings without him in A Ghost in Winterfell), hinting that he might realize by now that Ramsay is a lost cause.

Though again, since Roose is not a PoV and we don’t have any PoV that is close to him/likes him/talks about his past, this is all speculation which can be proved or disproved both by different readings of his lines and new developments in TWoW.