#I say I love so many games even tho I’ve never played em | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

twinvictim · 4 years ago

Note

your opinions on each of the post team silent games and a rating out of 10. hand 'em over

YEAHHHHHH FINALLY CATERING TO ME!!!

Uh really long post oops. for reference, my rating for the first 4 sh's are as follows

Sh1: 9/10 Sh2: 7/10 Sh3: 9/10 Sh4: 9.5/10

Silent Hill 0/Origins

overall score: 7/10

Alot of the games issues can of course be attributed to it being a psp game, and while i won't excuse everything bc of that, j have to be honest and say I think it had so much potential as a (very) late ps2 game. Not to mention, the game ON THE PSP functions as it should. (The ps2 port does fucking not tho..oops) ans you'll see that this is...a rarity post team silent.

The story has alot of potential, Travis as a character is interesting and sympathetic and j think his dynamic with alessa js super fascinating to dig into, both of them being abused children and there was alot of intrigue regarding his powers, the game feels like a smaller more watered down she, and for that I can't fault it too much. The weapons system isn't my favorite but the combat itself is reminiscent of 1 and 2 and I really like a good chunk of the monster design, there was clearly thought and care put into it, nurses and strughtjackets/lying figures be dammed. The unlockables are pretty cool though and alot of the environments look pretty cool for a psp game, hell i LOVE the theater level its super unique, I would love to see it in (actually functional) better graphics. I also think the puzzles are pretty solid, not hair pulling like sh1 even if they're not quite as clever as say sh3.

My biggest criticisms come from the reuse of sh1 characters (just alessa and Travis would've been fine, maybe dahlia and some more org characters would've been better) the bad ending being straight up bad writing. Not to mention they did the sh3 thing of "kill too many monsters and get the bad ending" which is...stupid. The foreshadowing of the butcher being? He's just kinda there, I like the lead up but it would be more interesting if the butcher represented something from those years between Travis' father dying and him being an adult. And while there's more replayability imo than sh2, it doesn't have difficulty sliders and that makes it kinda hard to come back to quite as often. Not to mention unlike sh1, 3or sh4 there's not as much horror focus and random events.

Overall, solid game its fun to play, very silent Hill and if you're willing to look past a few continuity errors and accept its a little different and slightly derrivitive at the same time, I like to say I had alot of fun with it and still do. (Maybe I just like Travis alot...idk)

Silent Hill: Homecoming

Overall score: 6/10

Once again most of the issues here are gonna be corporate fuck ups, but I'm also not gonna beat around the bush, this game isn't like...good. its bad actually. "But you gave it a 6/10?" Yeah bc its not NEARLY as bad as some other games I've.. experienced.

The negatives here are, many and vast, so let's run them down. Firstly the games performance is janky on console (ps3 at least) and abysmal/unplayable on PC, what with framerate issues that are detrimental to game play on pc and make the third boss impossible. That said on console it is completable and not even too terrible...usually. Scarletts boss fight however is terribly unbalanced and broken on all skews so :/. The combat is...functional but not anyone's favorite, it's difficult to use any actually strong weapon and you can pretty much strong arm ur ways through shit with just the knife (except scarletts first form..don't try it, it won't work) for some people this will be borening (not my opinion but w/e). Most of The puzzles...leave alot to be desired. I hate sliding block puzzles. Also no run button? At all?? No easy mode? Ok... also what is this.. wheel design for the inventory...im accidentally using my serum..what is serum also? And why is the item pickup noise like...bass boosted.

The character models look awful most of the time, and comically unfinished other times, some human models are just grotesque, (judge halloway, Adam shepherd, mayor Bartlett. .you get it) and yes...there are sexy nurses. Bc of course there are. (Whole ass out???) They did straight up have some terrible endings for this game (ph ending for one, the way you get the ufo? Hell the ufo ending is kinda boring. I like the in water ending here too but. Yeah.) the story has some, problems. To say the least.

However, while the performance is bad its not the worst I've played (on the ps3 once again..unplayable on pc) and I hardly noticed the framerate when I was just running around, I personally found the combat kinda fun, between trying to dodge accurately and still attack and not use all my health items (bc those and ammo are actually rare! Unlike some games...) it is kind of a challenge and reminds me of a much worse sh4. And hey, the health items both heal an understandable amount of health that i can easily read with a bar (unlike 1-3) and they're not a complete joke (unlike sh4...) i find the exploration really fun and sure the characters look shit but the environments are Fucking great. The church is one of my fav sections, short as jt might be and yes it stole the confessional scene but its pretty well written and acted I think. The monster design is pretty fucking rad too honestly, I like the schism, siam, I like the DESIGN of the needlers even if they make me so mad to fight, and hey the nurses and ph don't show up that much to be too aggregious. The boss monsters are also fantastic design wise, very unsettling and the boss rooms are interesting as well.

The story has problems but it also has alot of potential, the concept of people sacrificing ther children for silent Hill and being overcome by their own pain and guilt is pretty fucking cool, and alex is a good character they did a good job of giving him personality, ppl bitch about him being a soldier but a) he's not and b) soldiers are people too, and a sh game that could tackle toxic masculinity, be critical of the military, and also tackle abusive religeious parents is pretty intriguing, not to mentions themes of brotherly love that's complicated bc of how they clearly favored Josh . Sure, it misses the mark, but I like taking the potential and thinking about it bc its compelling to me. And like I said, i like alex alot.

Overall, bad game yes, but not the worst as it has enough good for me to honestly really enjoy it, besides it is pretty funny when it is bad. Don't play the pc port tho

Silent Hill Shattered Memories

Overall Score: 8/10

Unpopular opinion im sure but honestly? I find this game ALMOST on par with the team silent games. Its really that good, yes its a wii game, so this is my score taking into account the motion controls BTW.

For the good, man where do i start. Its BEAUTIFUL for a wii game and esp for a post team silent game, the graphics are nice and Constsitent, the environments are pretty and it has a pretty nice cold color pallet to contrast the warmer tones the series tends to skew towards. The acting and intrgrige are all on point and the WRITING is fantastic, its one of those games you play the first time not knowing the twist and play the second time picking up more and more clues and things that strengthen that twist so much more. Like sh2 its a simple story told in such a clever and interesting way that you'll probably be too invested to put it down, I beat it in one sitting in 6 hours bc i was so engrossed in the narrative. And the Puzzles man! The puzzles are phenomenal and fun to accomplish and there's even a little bit of variety in a few places on repeat playthroughs. The level of detail in this game is insane really, the things that change with the different psychology answers are pretty cool too and tho it all plays out relatively the same its still fun to see the different things you can get to happen. The gimmicks like the phone as an object, taking pictures, sneaking and zooming in, they're not too intrusive as to take away from the exploration or other game play but not completely useless and have some pretty fun Easter eggs too. The game plays sort of like a worse outlast with good puzzles and for that I do have to commend it. Oh and the fucking MUSIC is INCREDIBLE idk something ab this soundtrack has alot of heart put into it clearly.

Now, it's not perfect. The thing is, it is a WORSE outlast type game, in the running and hiding sense but well, the hiding is completely useless, its a run away game, which is ok, but I understand that people aren't gonna be a big fan of that when silent Hill has always balanced combat ad puzzles and exploration. The running segments are..aggravating, mostly bc its hard to figure out where to go, not to mention using motion controls that don't like to work half the time to fight the monsters off of you. Also, the monsters are not scarey in the slightest and the raw shock scream is actually enragaging if you've died one to many times, there's also...not really any penalty for dying. And once you're out for these running segments,there's no danger, no monsters, nothing to hide from despite having a hiding mechanic. Its not really a horror game more of a psycological thriller and I understand that the fact that its not horror can be disappointing. The psychology things might be a bit overhyped And yeah fine, the wii foreplay scene...well yeah its weird but it IS also funny as fuck.

That said, there's still alot thats good and alot thas unfair criticism lobbed at this game. Harry didn't have much of a personality in sh1 bc he's a ps1 character and sm really fleshed him out well, not to mention giving cybil some nice characterization, and they did some interesting things with dahlia and kaufmann. And Lisa.. well I'm gonna be honest I never found Lisa all that interesting in sh1..so it doesn't bother me that she's the way she is in this game. I know people hate the "horny" aspect of it but to be completely fair, YOU choose to make the game that way, don't answer in a sexual manner or look at boobs or anything else and you won't have an overly sexual game, its...literally that easy. Its given as an option for the play id they want to go for what is arguably another joke ending. (You cannot tell me sleeze and sirens is meant to be a real serious ending to the game. Cmon) and you can complain about the innacuuracies if you want but its a spin off, a retelling of the original game. Its not canon, and it didn't change the original game. It just took the ideas presented there and made them more human and lest fantastical, there's some supernatural elements but it takes a backseat to the human moments. And its honestly really cool.

Overall, great game, i reccomend it if you don't mind some slight jank with the motion controls and honestly? Look up directions on where to go for the running segments and you'll have a pretty good time overall.

Silent Hill Downpour

Overall score (so far): 7.5/10 *to be noted i haven't finished actually playing it yet but I know the basic plot and some of the details so I doubt it'll change

And so for the final silent Hill Game, I have to say, i don't think it deserves NEARLY the hatred it gets, there's alot about it that i find really cool and even fun and I think its a solid entry, a little better than origins in some parts and its downsides are both unfortunate and once again, mostly Konami's fault . That said, I'm also not gonna kid and say its a good game, just that I like it alot and we should be nicer to the last silent Hill game were probably ever gonna get.

Downpour has a pretty good, original story overall, there's alot to it, alot of intricacies and intrigue to it that honestly make it a pretty sold silent Hill game. Its different enough from the others to stand out but not super far removed from its themes and messages. I like that it doesn't try and lean into the cult aspect and tries to do something else with it, it doesn't try to explain silent Hill, but just use it to torment the characters, as it should be. There's tragedy ad human feelings here and some of them aren't the most...sensitive but they are pretty reasonable reactions id say. Playing as someone who's odds are stacked against him from the beginning as he's a prisoner is a cool way to open the game, someone convicted and you must discover if he is a good person or not. Themes of revenge explored more than in sh3 which is pretty cool. The environments look pretty nice, and i like the look of the otherworld, once again being unique with its cooler color pallet, but without the ice so it really feels like its own thing. The EXPLORATION is awesome with an actual open world which I think works well, there's alot to do in town (unlike sh1 and 0 on limiting hardware and 2 which just pretends you can explore to town but you cant) there's alot for cool little stories and sidequests to do, my favorite so far being the cinema (which has a section of ACTUAL fixed cameras like old Resident evils which is smth SH has never done and its super fucking cool!) And all the sidequess help strengthen murphy as a cheacter and argue for his innocence or complexites. The weapons system is pretty cool, picking up items and attacking with whatever you might find, finding cool Easter eggs with exploration and having fun noticing things. And it does honestly have the strongest side characters outside of SM. The puzzles are pretty solid and fun to figure out with some cool mechanics and the seperate difficulties is a great thing to bring back (actually done well like sh3) I also kind of like the method of triggering the night world/rain/monsters, and silent Hill really feels likes its constantly punishing Murphy, as it should. The music might not be Akira but its still pretty damn good, and fuck yall I like the Korn song, and you CAN press start and skip it yknow. (Thx tomm hewlit)

The negtitives tho, well they are there. For one it has the worst performance of any sh game outside of pc homecoming and like...the hd collection, the framerate like to shit itself alot lmao, its not usually detrimental bc I've played re2r with similar framerates but, yeah its not great. Not to mention while the models look better than hc they don't animate well or often at all, and the game has trouble loading in the models as fast as they should. The sound mixing could use...some work too, poor murph sounds like he's eating the mic. While I find the games exploration really fun, murphy also has the issue of not running very fast so it can be a little annoying to get back to a place you want to be when you can't run that fast, not to mention the loading times. The monster design is def the worst in the series, maybe on par w SM. Which is disappointing bc there's some pretty good moments here and there, but not nearly enough to make it scary and there's so much you can do with monsters with this premise. Also, the running sections in the otherworld are better than SM ad even more engaging than the brief ones in 2 and 3, but still, I'd prefer to do puzzles or fight a boss or smth. I will also say, the endings are, iffy while the main 2 endings are really good and Anne's bad ending as well as the joke ending are great, murphys bad endings are weird and ooc for the muphy you come to know in the game (even more so than Origins) plus, idk that the writers knew all that much about prison andbprison culture, nobody in a real prison would be mad ab Murphy killing a pedo (there's some racist implications here and there too which is. Unfortunate and disappointing. I like Howard and Robbie but they are a bit tropey, esp Howard) that said Anne is a compelling albeit unlikable character and thas pretty cool to see pulled off.

Overall, while it has downsides, I don't think Downpour is worthy of all the scorn it gets, this can have problems and you can point them out without disregarding the good parts and while it is unfortunate it doesn't run better and have some extras and didn't handle some things great, I still think its worth a playthrough, esp if you go out of your way to do the sidequests.

Bonus round

Book of memories is not a game I intend to play bc I don't wanna get a vita and can't imagine I'm missing much. It doesn't look bad pwr say but I'm not interested tbh

Fuck PT. :)

#entries #silent hill #long post #thank u thank you #ill try tk put a cut in here at some poitn hold on srry

12 notes · View notes

leverage-ot3 · 4 years ago

Text

notable moments from The Mile High Job

leverage 1.08

Nate: We need a key card.

Eliot: And I hate to say it, but you know who we could really use --

Nate: Don't even say his name. I don't want it spoken aloud

eliot begrudgingly admitting they could use hardison because although they may bicker all the time, he knows to appreciate him

- - - - -

[Leverage Headquarters]

(Hardison is watching a microwave, which dings)

Hardison: Yeah, buddy!

(he tries to pick up the pizza pocket but it is too hot and he drops it)

Hardison: Damn it!

(he blows on it and picks it up to eat it, then takes a watering can and heads out of the kitchen)

why do we (and parker and eliot) love this fucking idiot so damn much ???

- - - - -

(Hardison walks through the offices watering plants)

he’s such a nester + he’s probably watering parker’s plant too which is adorable

- - - - -

Eliot: All right.

(open the door to the hall to find Parker waiting)

Parker: So, what are we waiting for?

Eliot: How does she do this?

Nate: I don't even ask anymore.

Hardison: Don't bother with the stairs. I got you a ride down.

(elevator dings and they enter)

we love to see parker defying all laws of physics and logic and the team being baffled by it e v e r y time

- - - - -

(Nate, Parker and Eliot run into the lobby, headed for the door)

Nate: No, it’s right behind us, it’s right behind us!

(guards put their hands on their guns)

Parker: It’s furry, it’s big, it’s chasing us, get down now!

(they grab Sophie on the way out the door, leaving the guards confused)

Nate: Come on, we need to get to the airport, now!

that’s actually a really clever way to escape a situation ??? it was very effective to distract the guards ???

- - - - -

Hardison: What I.D.s have you got on you?

[LAX Airport]

Nate: Let's see...

(team begins looking through their pockets)

Nate: We got, Peter Davison, Sylvester McCoy, and I have a Tom Baker. Yeah.

Sophie: Ooh, yeah, I have a Baker. Sarah Jane.

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: Perfect. I now pronounce you man and wife. (typing on keyboard) Now go on and kiss that bride.

[LAX Airport]

(Sophie hands Nate a ring that he places on her finger)

hardison bases their ids on doctor who characters, what a fucking nerd

also, we gonna talk about how sophie carries a bunch of different wedding rings with her at all times or ???

- - - - -

Sophie: How did you both know there'd be an extra uniform in the bag?

Nate: Everyone knows flight attendants are required to carry extra uniforms in case they get called to work unexpectedly.

Eliot: Or if something happens to the one that they're already wearing.

Sophie: How does "everyone" know that?

Nate: Worked airport security.

Eliot: Slept with a flight attendant

sophie being exhausted + eliot never mentioned the gender of the flight attendant so let my bi heart dream okay

- - - - -

(security guard opens Nate’s luggage to find many BSDM items inside. Nate gives Sophie a look)

Sophie: What? We needed luggage. Lost and found.

Nate: You didn't check the bag first?

Sophie: We were in a bit of a hurry. (to guard) Yeah. Cuffs are his. Whip's mine. (slaps Nate’s butt) Second honeymoon.

Eliot (picking up his bag): Idiots.

me watching this scene: part horrified part secondhand embarrassed

- - - - -

Hardison (on computer): Let's see what we can learn about Nathan Ford today. Online poker? Online chess? Sudoku. Crossword. What... Damn. Somebody needs to get laid.

y i k e s

- - - - -

[Coach]

(Parker on P.A. while another stewardess demonstrates)

Parker: Place the mask over your mouth and nose and breathe normally. In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. But let's face it, if this thing goes down in the water, more than likely the impact will kill you.

(Eliot grabs the bridge of his nose while the other passengers get alarmed)

Parker: Please take a moment to locate the nearest emergency exits, because if this plane's on fire, you're gonna want to get out quick. Jet fuel burns at over 1,000 degrees. That's hot, folks.

Eliot: All right, Nate. We're here. Now what?

eliot looks exhausted like 300 different times during this episode

+ bless the other flight attendant that just carried on with the crazy white chick being crazy over the speaker

- - - - -

poor eliot with the guy sleeping on him, he’s so exhausted already lmao

- - - - -

Steve: Nothing. It’s just... I could've sworn I saw a maintenance guy get in that elevator.

Hardison: A- A maintenance guy? Wow. Real nice. I bet you think we all look alike.

Steve: That's not what I meant.

Hardison: You know what -- If I have to go to one more of those damn sensitivity seminars, I know who I’m blaming.

Steve: No, no, no.

Hardison: I know who I’m blaming.

Steve: It's not what I meant.

Hardison: I blame you! You! (walks away)

hardison using societal tendencies of racism is iconic every (every) time

- - - - -

(Eliot gets up and begins going through luggage in the overhead racks. One of the passengers watches him suspiciously)

Eliot (to passenger): Can I help you with something? Watch the movie.

what would you even do in this situation ???

- - - - -

Marissa: I know. It's just -- It's like a placebo effect. It's not really working, but it makes you feel better anyway.

Parker: Yeah? So, when's that supposed to kick in? (she moves forward) Look. Flying isn't really all that scary when you think about it. I mean, there are a lot more likely ways to die than on a plane. Car crash, house fire, electrocution, drowning, autoerotic asphyxiation. I mean, the fact is, death haunts us every day. No matter where we are.

(Parker smiles and moves away)

Y I K E S

- - - - -

Hardison: You kidding? Did you get the new expansion pack? Woman, I was up all night. Now, look, I mean “Burning Crusade" was great, but this new one is mind-blowing.

Nate: Hardison…

[First Class]

Nate: …you bailed on the job because you were up all night playing a game?

[Genogrow Break Room]

(Hardison turns aside and opens a cabinet door to hide his face)

Hardison: First off, "game" is hardly adequate, okay

hardison is DONE with them not taking his “games” seriously ,,, also LMFAO that’s why he was late

- - - - -

Hardison (opens door): The meeting's starting, sir. (closes door)

Haldeman: What meeting? (sighs and puts on his jacket)

that is such an effective tactic tho ???

- - - - -

Parker: Hatbox full of Euros, pouch of uncut diamonds, and a stolen Stradivarius. Now, I’ve never lifted one of those.

Nate: Parker..

let! her! steal! it!

- - - - -

Eliot: Ms. Devins, those payments were not made in error. They were bribes. He was trying to pay off the researchers so they would not testify.

Marissa: What are you talking about? What the hell is going on here?

(Parker sits down next to Marissa)

Parker: The guy in 1D wants to kill you. Ginger ale?

Eliot: Just – sh-she--

that poor lady is NOT having a good time

also eliot looks sO DONE WITH PARKER LMFAO

- - - - -

Eliot: Erlick's a pro. He had a ceramic knife. If anything was going down, he'd sniff 'em out when he saw them coming.

Nate: How would they do it?

Eliot: Easiest way? Take 'em out in transit.

Sophie: You mean bring down the plane they're on?

(everyone looks at her pointedly)

Sophie: You mean bring down the plane we're on?

Nate: Yeah

that’s interesting meta to know but we hate to see it

- - - - -

Nate: Okay, Parker, I -- Parker, I need you – (to Eliot) All right, we got to talk to Erlick now.

[Plane Bathroom]

(Dan is still unconscious on the toilet as Eliot and Nate come in)

Nate: Geez!

Eliot (patting Dan on the face): Hey!

(Dan does not stir, Eliot sighs)

Eliot: When I knock people out, they tend to stay knocked out.

Nate: Hey!

(Nate taps the guy on the face)

Nate: Luggage tags.

(they search Dan’s clothes and take his luggage tags. Eliot grabs the ceramic knife before they leave the bathroom)

eliot doesn’t fuck around lmao

also he did the flippy thing with the knife

- - - - -

Hardison: Parker, the device you found -- is it anywhere near an orange box?

Parker: Yeah.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: Oh, god. They tapped into the black box.

[Cargo Hold]

Parker: No, no, it's not black. It's orange.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: Yeah, the black boxes, they're orange.

[Cargo Hold]

Hardison: Makes them easier to find in the debris.

Parker: Oh. Oh…

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: They've hacked into the flight's computer, which means they have access to the system, which means they can spoof the black-Box data all at the same time.

[Cargo Hold]

Parker: Crash the plane without anyone knowing it was sabotaged.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: Exactly

that’s terrifying

- - - - -

Nate: Listen to me!

[Haldeman’s Office]

Nate: You can do this! I trust you!

(Hardison looking very unsure of himself)

[Cockpit]

Nate: No matter how many times you goof off or screw up, you always come through in the clutch.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Nate: You're the only guy I can count on in a situation like this.

Hardison (cracks his neck): You know what? I-I-you... You're right.

You're right. I got this.

[Cockpit]

Nate: Yes! Yes! Yes, you can!

Hardison: You're right. You're -- I'm the man.

[Cargo Hold]

Hardison: I'm the man. I got this. I'm gonna do this.

hardison is amazing and they need to appreciate him more

- - - - -

[First Class]

(Nate and Eliot stumble into seats and belt up)

Nate: Sophie?

[Coach]

Sophie: Yes?

[First Class]

Nate: You okay?

[Coach]

Sophie: Yeah. You?

[First Class]

Nate: Ask me again in 10 minutes.

[Coach]

Sophie: You're gonna remember this one, aren't you?

[First Class]

Nate: Oh yeah.

everyone else on the comms: ,,, y’all have to flirt right this second ???

- - - - -

[Haldeman’s Office]

(Hardison watching footage on the Internet of the plane landing)

Announcer (on monitor): …emergency landing on the seven mile bridge…

Hardison: Whoa! (gets up and dances) Baby! Unh! Age of the geek! Smooth! Too smooth! Lord, I was so scared, I wanted to cry, call my mama. Y'all cool? Y’all cool?

Nate: Yes, cool.

Hardison: Family. All right.

hardison is baby + HE CALLED THEM HIS FAMILY !!!

#the mile high job #leverage 1.08 #leverage 1x08 #leverage season 1 #season 1 #notable moments #leverage #mine

96 notes · View notes

vanchlo · 4 years ago

Text

The Assistant / Chapter 40, “Penultimate”

Clickable Links:

- Masterlist feat. all chapters and Character Surveys

- Inspo tag

- Hecky Playlist

- Read on Wattpad

Warnings: None

Word Count: 13.9k words (just shy of 14k!!!!! hmm i wonder why... *wink*)

Song: Say You’ll Be There by Spice Girls (click to listen)

SNEAKYYYYY PEEK

“Ya, Becks?” Harry responds, and I look back up to find his patient eyes on me. A smile bends his lips and I feel it fill me with courage, egging me on.

God, I’ve missed him. Those sparkly green eyes. His smile that can pull one from my own lips. His quirky jokes. God, his hugs, even if they’re not often enough. His dimpled cheeks covered with stubble that do something to me. And so does his ruffled curls that I missed seeing. I just- I missed him.

And that’s what makes the words fall from my lips.

"I tell myself I am searching for something. But more and more, it feels like I am wandering, waiting for something to happen to me, something that will change everything, something that my whole life has been leading up to."

- Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed

If his suits weren’t going to kill me, surely the way he looked at me, and how he doted on me soon would.

He was somehow so patient with me, and God, when he would lean over me to show me something on the online database when we did research, I almost couldn’t resist him. It surely didn’t help my case when standing behind me, his hand would come over mine on the mouse to show me where to go to find newspaper articles I was looking for. At times, I thought it lingered a little longer than necessary, or that I felt a mysterious squeeze of his hand. What I was positive of, was that he could feel the clamminess of my hands and the thrashing of my heart as his warm hand showed mine the way.

Although with conflict, I was humbled when during my first two days, he acted differently outside of his office. He had a different air to him and carried himself in a separate way, but he was still the same person when we were around other people. I think I understood it though, and I came to adopt it too - treating him as my boss and peer when others were around. It saddened me to drop the friend act, but I knew it was for the best, and that this is what I signed up for to work with him. Like he so easily can, he smoothed over the wounds with how devoted he’s been to teaching me everything and in the right way. Somehow, he always seems to know the right thing to say, and deep down, I was hoping he could teach me how to do that, too.

Sitting at my desk, that Wednesday morning, it all still seemed surreal. It would probably feel like the last two days weren’t a dream when Harry finished his early meeting this morning with Myles, and we’d start our day. For now, research it is for me, and a big mug of coffee to wake me up. I may or may not have stayed up late gushing to Skye all about my day again, and I don’t regret it one bit. It’s safe to say that after all of these years, Skye has always been the person I always want to tell first about everything, whether it’s good or bad. Well, the other person I want to tell everything to, I can’t really do when it’s about him.

My impatience was starting to show after an hour of being there and still not seeing him, even though he had told me yesterday he had a meeting. I wanted to tell him about this new song I heard on the drive to work that I think he’d like, and the new chocolate banana bread recipe I was hoping to try on him.

It all came rushing to the surface when I was coming back from a bathroom break and saw his door open, and his figure peeking out at me. After how many years of knowing him, and on day three of work, the mere sight of him can still send my stomach into knots.

“Morning, Harry. How was your meeting? Eight am is pretty early for one, you look pooped,” I greet him, strolling into his office and stopping in front of the two chairs sat before his desk.

“It was fine,” he answers quietly, messy curls bent over a stapled document he pages through. I wasn’t kidding with the comment, his hair looks like he’s run a hand through it a hundred times. I wonder why. For one of the first times, his coal suit is wrinkled and so is the mauve button up beneath it.

“I heard a George Ezra song this morning you might like, it’s called-,” I begin, wandering to the sofa where his coat is draped over the left side.

“Don’t get comfy,” he interrupts, followed by a clearing of his throat. He pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth, something he’s always done when he’s nervous. This can’t be good. “You uh, can work in yer office t’day.”

“Oh,” I respond shortly, forgetting to hide the surprise leaking through in my voice. “For the whole day?”

Words are absent from his imprisoned lips, but they’re spoken when he nods his head firmly. It doesn’t make it any better when his eyes never leave the stupid document he’s looking at, fingers again lost in his shiny brunette locks.

“Did I do something wrong, Harry?” I ask tentatively and then with a nervous laugh, willing him to finally look at me, but I can’t get him to. That realization and this nightmare of sorts in front of me sends my stomach into spirals, pulling my heart along for the ride. “I’m sorry I was five minutes late today, it won’t happen again.”

“‘s fine, love, it happens. Ya didn’t do anythin’, I jus’ have some stuff t’ do and anotha meetin’ later,” Harry answers coolly, and I’m unsure of how long I can take this avoidant eye contact game.

“Can’t I help you with it?” the words don’t even finish leaving my lips and his head is shaking adamantly. “If it’s not my fault, then why are you banishing me to my office like it is? God, Harry, could you look at me when I talk to you? You said yesterday eye contact is everything in consults, speaking with colleagues, and in the courtroom, so why can’t you give it to me?”

“Jus’ work on tha witnesses and speakin’ t’ ‘em. See what they hafta say and if tha list we made has anybody useful on it,” he instructs blindly, veering to the left and away from anything I said. “‘ll text ya what ya can do afta that.”

“Fine, but you should know that mentors are supposed to communicate, Harry, and you’re not doing a very good job at it,” I almost retort, stomping out of his office and wishing I could slam the door. The tornado inside of my mind justifies it, and so does the sad realization I have that not once did he call me ‘Becks’ back there. That never happens, and it makes me grow queasy with worry about why not.

After returning to my office, and sat again at my desk, I pour over the last two days in my mind. I try to find something I did wrong, but the last two days had been wonderful. They were something out of a dream, just like this whole entire thing. Well, up until now, that is. We had already played two games of Scrabble, one win going to each of us, and I whooped his butt on the first day in cribbage. He blew me off my feet from the beginning, and seemed to accomplish it two days in a row.

“These are fer you. They’re yer welcome presents, I guess. ‘m sorry I forgot t’ bring ‘em yest’day, ‘m terrible,” Harry says after we bid the other a good morning, turning around with a lilac colored gift bag filled to the brim with white tissue paper.

“Harry, please. You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I wanted t’, and I did,” he smiles sweetly, nodding at me to open it. The specific word he said, ‘these’, interests me, as if the whole thing didn't enough.

“You better not make me cry again, you tend to do that with your presents,” I warn with a laugh, stepping forward and touching the feathery tissue paper.

“Bloody hell, such a cryer, ya are,” he giggles, but when I meet his eyes they’re warm and soft. He winks at me, and I swear I melt right then and there. I already had this morning when I stepped into his office and found him in a cream blazer wearing a black floral button up he had bought when I first worked for him, from the time he called me asking what shirt to wear to some charity event. “‘s okay, I like how often ya show yer emotions. I wish I was betta at doin’ that sumtimes, but ‘m glad ya like me presents, bug.”

“Yeah, you’re a great gift giver, and I mean it,” I remark, feeling my words tumble into nothingness when my fingers wrap around something. I know within seconds what it is, and it only gets better when I pull it out, and read my name across the front.

“I rememba ya said once ya like reds, and I couldn’t not buy it. I dunno if ya care fer a Cabernet, tho’,” Harry titters proudly from across me, cheeks lighting with a pink fire when I meet his eyes with sparks shooting between us.

“Thank you so much, I actually love Cabernet red wines. It’s perfect, Harry, and wow it’s named after me.”

“Good, ‘m really glad t’ hear that. Keep goin’, there’s more,” he comments, and when I raise my eyebrows at him, another happy laugh slips past his lips. “Rebecca Ann, open tha bleedin’ presents.”

I melt again at the mention of my full name, and the humor that always tags along when he says it, as well as the intimacy of sorts that joins the ride. I’ve never liked him calling me anything other than ‘Becks’, but somehow I’m really liking him calling me by my full name lately. A little too much sometimes.

I relent with a nod, and after setting down the bottle decorated with dark floral drawings, I dive back in. Confusion paints me in waves when my fingers wrap around a sleek box that ties my eyebrows into a knot. It relaxes when I bring it out to look at, and a giggle soon consumes my features.

“Figured ya needed one o’ yer own fer yer office, ‘s only right,” Harry explains, dimples collapsing into his happy cheeks as he waves a hand at the brand new Scrabble game I hold in my hands. My laugh joins his to sing a duet between us, and I soon doubt all of the other times I thought I loved him, because this one trumps all the others in some funny way. “We’ll hafta sneak inn’a game t’day. Go ‘head and look at tha next one, can’t wait t’ see what ya think.”

“Thank you,” I almost whisper, earning me a thankful nod from him as he eggs me on.

The bag below my hands still contains more objects and has yet to sag at the bottom, tissue paper tossed to the side. Oh, Harry, you sweetheart, you. Another box greets my hand, but this one is matte and the object on top of it is as well. Finally, tears arrive in my eyes when I bring it to meet them, because I know right away what this one is too.

“Harry,” I sigh happily, finding his grinning face across from me.

“Open it,” he tells me, nodding at the small rectangle weighing heavy in my hands.

I obey and with a difficult swallow, pull black the clasp of the metal rectangle that fits in my palm. For years, words I never thought I’d see, grace my eyes that refuse to work with the multitude of tears filling them.

“I hope ya like tha purple case fer yer cards, and tha purple on ‘em. Tha box inside is more o’em, but if ya don’t care fer ‘em there’s only fifty in there. I can help ya order whateva ya want once they run out, bug,” he explains, but I’m already shaking my head as I take one out to admire it. It feels smooth and crisp beneath my fingers, and I love how velvety it is. They’re everything I love about the card I once stole of a certain somebody’s I have hidden somewhere. “I rememba ya said once how ya loved mine, and this ‘s tha same besides y’know, tha color.”

“I love it so much, Harry, thank you. I can’t say it enough,” I barely get out between tears, brushing my thumb across the words.

It fills my heart with such immense happiness to see my name stamped into the card, sitting beside the name of his firm. This all really is a dream come true, and so is the mere fact of him standing in front of me smiling at me like now I’m the sun that shines on him. He’ll always feel like the sun shining on me, and I never want it to end. “Can I have a hug?”

“‘Course ya can, bug,” he coos, opening his arms to welcome me home. I try to avoid his almost white blazer with my mascara streaked face. The tears only come harder when I feel his lips press a greeting to my head. “‘m so glad yer back here with me, Becks . . . There’s one mo’ present tho’, I think you’ll love that one, too.”

My surprised giggle brushes against his chest, and his thumb catches a few tears when I pull away. He goes to hand me the present hidden in his palm, and when his hand opens, a laminated badge dangles from between two fingers.

“I can get ya a lanyard if ya want, but othawise it clips t’ sumthin’. Y’know I usually do me trouser pocket so ‘s outta sight, only really need it at tha courts and t’ get into rooms here, and there. I think yer photo turned out lovely tho’, ya look beautiful,” Harry croons as my fingers surround it, ceasing it’s dancing between his slender fingers. My name comes into view again now in formal black font, and the photo Harry took of me yesterday sits above it against the white background. “Yer lucky ya photograph well, ‘m countin’ down tha days ‘til I get a new one, and can redo my hack job.”

“Harry,” I chuckle, the tears appearing at the surface of my words and spilling over again when my eyes glide over to him.

Once again, his bottom lip is caught between his teeth anxiously. My heart feels very similar, caught between the both of us at the sound of his words, and that particular one he said that started with a ‘B.’ He really does know what he’s doing.

My laugh deepens when memories accompany the present, recalling him showing me his badge yesterday when we were talking about employee badges, and one time all those years ago. He claims to hate his, thinking he took a bad picture, but I think he looks handsome as ever from two years ago, although sad.

“You know me too well with all of this. It’s so sweet of you,” I confess, swiping a finger across my cheeks as his hand rests on my back, drawing shapes into my blazer.

“I hope those are all happy tears, bug.”

“They always are,” I admit quickly, trying to ignore the little lie held within my words, hoping he couldn’t know. I just wonder that if he had said it, if the same lie would be hidden between the words. The lie that doesn’t share that the slightest bit of melancholy and years of longing sit in those tears, wanting oh so much more.

I don’t know what went wrong, and no matter how hard I try, I feel like I’m to blame. More than anything, I don’t know what I did wrong, and I’m so confused. I feel like that emotion consumes me more than the others, but certainly not the sadness. When I think about the last two days, I can’t find anything I did wrong. Everything went well and he was his usual cheery self, and so patient when teaching me the way with so many things here.

Last night with him was one of my favorite times from the last few years with him. I said yes the second he called asking if I wanted to come over to his place to meet his niece and nephew, and to help babysit. I think it was part of the reason why I was so antsy to see him this morning, because I felt myself fall about five steps harder when he opened the door last night holding the baby. I fell about twenty more by the end of the night when we were slumped on the couch smiling at the other as we each held a sleeping kid, sparking too many wishful thoughts within my eager mind. He got it racing when words were exchanged between us about having families of our own one day, dreams piecing together in the air.

Especially after last night, I don’t know what went wrong. Somewhere deep down, I want it to be something I did, so I can fix it. I can’t find it, though, and because of that, I know it’ll be harder to fix since I don’t know what it is. I just want to find it already, because I can’t do this all over again, not when we’re so close. Now, it feels even further away.

The sound of the phone settling into the cradle resounds in my ears as the pen crisply draws a check mark on the paper. With a happy sigh, I stand to my feet and admire the finished checklist decorated with Harry’s handwriting, the most I’ve seen of him in the last several hours. Now that it’s all finished, I can finally go and see him. That only took three hours, I note inwardly with annoyance while opening my office door. The first thing I do is peer down the hall to his door, and once again, I find it closed. That doesn’t stop me, and soon I hear my heels clicking down the hall. The rapid beating of my heart climbs to match it as excitement soars through my body at the chance to see him again. As if spending hours calling potential witnesses wasn’t dreary enough, it was harder without him there across the room making faces at me, carrying fun conversations on the side together, or just looking unnecessarily hot while talking on the phone.

All that almost goes out the window when I stop in front of his door, and bite the bullet. After so many times of Harry telling me to stop knocking and just come right in, I barely tap my knuckle against the door before opening it. Like so many other things that are wrong with today, apparently this is, as well. It feels like an opposite day from a Dr. Seuss book when I see the look of horror on Harry’s face.

“Dontcha know how t’ bloody knock?! ‘m busy here!” he retorts with a curtness to his voice. A rushed ‘sorry’ dives from my lips when my eyes jump to the professional-looking stranger sitting in front of him. “Hmmm, what d’ya want then? Can’t it wait, or no, apparently ya didn’t think it could, did ya?!”

“It’s nothing,” I mumble to myself and only her, spinning around and stomping away from him.

Embarrassment floods my entire body in heavy sheets as the moment glues itself to the inside of my brain. It’s not so much what he said, but how he said it that causes my eyes to fill with tears. A slew of awful things stuck to his voice, and the worst I can’t even think about. Disappointment, disgust, anger, annoyance, and so many others that you don’t have on show for your friend. They come splashing onto my cheeks when the image of his angry face flashes in front of my eyes, and all of the other times I’ve seen it, but that was years ago. He promised this time would be different, and only three days in and he’s already broken that promise by bringing the old Harry back.

That must be a new record.

Appropriately enough, miserable raindrops race down the dark windows reaching above my head. I can’t remember the last time I saw it rain in January, but here it is, and it couldn’t feel more like it’s for me than it already does. It all feels like too much, and it grows to be far too much when I hear his voice.

“I reckon I shoulda looked here first, this has always been yer spot, here at tha balcony.”

Words escape my lips and any neural pathways between them and my mouth as his own tickle at my back. The tears replace them when the nickname he has for me flows from his lips for the first time today. He really does always know what to say, and when to say it. At this moment, I really hate that.

It’s not fair.

It all feels wrong when all I want is for it to feel right, and it rings true when his hand touches my shoulder. I try to ignore his surprised intake of air when I shrink away from his touch.

“Becks, please.”

“No, Harry. I love your nickname for me more than anything, but you don’t get to use it like that. You don’t get to drag it through the mud and forget it, and then use it to suck up to me. You can’t do that to me,” I growl with gritted teeth, keeping my back to him. Like so many times before, I wish this was all different, and with that thought, the tears make another return. “You didn’t even tell me you were meeting with anybody today, so how was I supposed to know you were busy?”

“I know, Becks, ‘m so sorry. ‘m not suckin’-.”

“Yes, you are . . . I want this second chance with you to be so much more, Harry, and you promised it’d be different,” I protest in a croaky voice, wishing he couldn’t hear the tears. I wish he didn’t know about them, but I already know he can hear them. He was right, we’re open books for each other to read, and I never found out how to close myself to him.

“Becks, I want it t’ be different too, please believe me.”

“But you already broke that promise three days in, Harry!” I exclaim, whipping around to find his devastated face. I didn’t think he could look more upset than he already does, but at the appearance of my tears, sadness paints his face in heavy stripes suddenly.

“It’ll be different, bug, I promise you that,” Harry pleads, emotion weighing on his eyebrows.

I really want to believe him and my gut tells me to, even the devil and angel do, but I’m afraid. I’m scared of how much it hurts me to see the tears welling in his eyes and the upsetting emotions knit into his features, all that I want to wipe away. I want to make it better for him, and I know it’ll never change. I’m so afraid of this all being for nothing in the end, and the risk I’m taking by being here.

“Then show me that,” I huff with defeat drowning under my sob, wiping a hand across my cheek as I pick up my feet and leave him standing there.

I do the thing that I hate most in the world, leaving him, and it doesn’t hurt any less this time. Perhaps surprisingly, I think that it hurts more this time to walk away from him, because I really wish I could do what it’s available, and stay.

It hurt again the next morning when I passed him in the halls, wishing something could be said. The ball isn’t in my court though, and even if it was, I don’t know if I’d take a hit. I’m really at a loss right now, and with only one day left until he leaves and that day also being his birthday, I hate this all the more. I didn’t think my hatred for it could grow any worse, but it does when he trickles into my office later that morning, and it wasn’t for the reason I wanted him to be there.

“I heard from a li’l birdy yer havin’ a hard time with tha Silver Net database,” Harry says slowly, bottom lip returning to between his teeth after his dreary words meet the air. Although sad, I can hear the sincerity behind his words that he tries and fails to project, showing the true Harry behind them. I only nod and return to typing on my laptop. “Lemme help.”

My body freezes and the denial swimming through my veins can’t find a way out as indecisiveness weighs heavily within me. It cripples me when he comes to stand behind me and to the side, and I’m unsure of how I feel about him being there. It’s either too far away, or too close. I can’t decide. I open up the database website from my bookmarks, feeling the awkwardness ensue as it loads.

“What’re ya strugglin’ with?” he asks slowly, and I know he feels it too. The tension that sits between us and every word he speaks.

“Searching by date,” I barely make out, suddenly aching for the times he wouldn’t hesitate to lean over me and place his hand over mine on the mouse. That time seems long gone, as do many others.

“Alright, login first,” he instructs, and I follow, annoyed when my shaky hands mess up my typing. “Search fer sumthin’, but don’t hit enter yet . . ‘Kay, now click on that drop down arrow there. It’ll list tha otha options fer search criteria.”

I try that and with his directions, I look for the filter to search for dates, but it’s not there.

“Well, what tha hell, did they change it in tha last week or sumthin’?” he grumbles from behind me, words finished with a sigh. “Wait, maybe ya went too far down tha page . . No, not that way- here, lemme help.”

He still doesn’t find it, and he won’t give up the mouse when I try to take it back, bumping hands ever so awkwardly.

“Becks, ‘m not done, ‘m tryna help.”

“I’m fine, just let me do it. I can use the other database instead if I need to,” I insist firmly, avoiding his eyes over my shoulder.

“No, ya gotta learn t’ use ‘em all ‘cuz they offa different stuff, so lemme help you.”

“Harry, I don’t want your help!” I exclaim loudly, finally whipping around to look him in the eyes. “Yeah, it’s not so fun being snapped at, is it?” I continue with another attack sent his way, and as soon as it meets the air, I regret it.

“I’m sorry, Harry,” I sigh adamantly, but it doesn’t work. None of this does, apparently.

“Fo’get it,” he exhales with a wave of his hand, already walking away and out the door. A groan fills my office as he almost slams my door, and that only fuels the fire raging within me, one of anger and sadness and frustration. Because of everything that’s missing, and soon he will be too.

My phone lands somewhere on the sofa, but it’s the last thing I care about right now as my lungs struggle for air. Carding a hand through my hair, a shaky exhale tickles at my curls. My eyes land upon the framed diploma behind my desk as I try and fail to swallow past the lump in my throat. How ironic that it’s the first thing I see after what just happened.

“Hey, looks like we’re both gonna be late fer our meetin’ t’day,” a voice pipes up from my doorway. I make the mistake of automatically looking to who’s speaking, and even with blurry eyes, I know it’s him. “Becks, what’s tha matter? Alright?”

Shaking my head, an onslaught of tears flood my eyes as Harry stands across from me with worry tying his face into knots. With trembling lips, I clear my throat, “No,” I admit, my voice breaking before I even spoke.

Him leaving soon, and now the events of the last two days have left my heart in shambles, one that was just leaving its armor to greet him again. It breaks a little more when he crosses the room in a few large steps, but keeps a few in between us. Too many.

“I hate it when we fight. I don’t want to fight with you,” I confess randomly, but it couldn’t speak more to the truth.

“Hey, we’re not fightin’, bug,” he coos, finally stepping forward and crouching down to look at me at eye level. When I try to argue, he shushes me in a soft tone, thumbing away a tear that falls down my cheek.

“Can I have a hug, Harry?” I sob, and his nod is instantaneous. With few doubts, I know that this is what I’ve needed all along. What we’ve needed, because his hugs always fix everything.

“‘Course, Becks, ya don’t hafta ask, babe. Come on ova, me favourite lawyer,” he smiles, mirroring my movements when I get to my feet and fall into his arms. A giggle sputters from my lips at his comment, but the tears drown the sound of it as I bury my head into his chest clad in all black. “Let it all out, bug.”

A feeling I’ve missed for longer than it’s really been falls over me. Safety, and with that comes comfort and relief. God, I really hate fighting with him, or anything that takes him away from me, I muse amongst my racing thoughts. A smile tries at my lips when he smooths back my hair and presses a kiss to my hairline, holding my head to his chest. My chest hiccups against his as I grab handfuls of his matte blazer. Relief grows buds across my body as his fingers track a course through my hair, and the other five massage circles into my back.

“D’ya wanna talk ‘bout whateva it was that happened?”

Nodding my head into his chest, I try not to feel bad about my makeup smearing all over his black suit, but I could live here forever. I can’t handle the thought right now of pulling away when he’s holding me so close.

“It was just my psycho parent calling for their usual guilt trip.”

“Oh, ‘m sorry you had t’ deal with that recently as well,” he comments much to my surprise, warm words dancing over my head.

“Your dad called you to do the same thing?” I question with raw shock coating my words, pulling away to look into his eyes, the tears starting to abate.

“Ya, yestaday mornin’ befo’ me meetin’. That’s why I was an asshole all day, and t’ you.”

“Oh, Harry, I’m so sorry,” I confess, sniffling and his head shakes from side to side quickly with sullen eyes.

“No, ‘m sorry, Becks. It sounds bloody stupid ‘cuz it was, but I didn’t wanna work togetha yest’day ‘cuz I didn’t wanna take my problems out on you. I still fookin’ did when I snapped at ya, and jus’ by pushin’ ya away. ‘m so sorry, bug, I didn’t mean t’ hurt you. ‘ve done that so many goddamn times ova tha years, and I can’t live with meself doin’ it anymo’. Tha shit with Amber, tha seven month phone tag, tha way I snapped at you yestaday-.”

“Harry, stop. It’s okay,” I say, barging into his sentence. Words come to life on his lips again, but I shake my head vehemently, pressing a finger to them. “It’s all in the past, I want to forget it.”

“But ‘s not ‘kay, Becks. I dunno how ‘ll make it up t’ ya, and show ya that I promise things will be different this time,” he sighs sadly, tears drowning the darkness of his green eyes. Mine had started their departure, but now, they return slowly at the sight of his.

“You already have, right now,” I tell him, catching the first tear that falls from his left eye. “I’m sorry about what happened with your dad. Would it help to talk about it?”

“Ya . . . he rang fer his usual guilt trip that started with makin’ me feel bad fer not talkin’ t’ him or visitin’. Worst o’ all, he finally found out that I went with anotha company than his fer tha remodel. ‘m surprised he didn’t blow a gasket, ‘cuz it sounded as if he had,” Harry retells, blowing a breath past his rose colored lips.

“It looks like we both lucked out in the psycho parent department . . I’m really sorry about that, Harry, you didn’t deserve that.”

“I dunno, sumtimes he makes me feel like I do,” he shrugs, licking his lips. “What did yer mum have t’ guilt you ‘bout, bug?” he next asks, eyebrows sewn together with a question.

“You didn’t deserve it, Harry, don’t listen to him . . Oh, my mum yeah, well for never telling her I was going back to uni, which was a low blow since that was years old. Then, she had to hear from my gran - bless her soul, but she talks too much - that I graduated and didn’t invite my mum, or tell her that I got my first lawyer job here, and for not talking to her too,” I share, finding that the breaths are coming to me easier, one by one.

“‘m sorry, Becks, ‘s not right o’ her t’ treat ya that way. Ya don’t owe her bloody anythin’ and from tha sounds o’ what you’ve told me, she has herself t’ blame fer not gettin’ t’ be there.”

“Thank you, and the same goes for you too, Harry. You didn’t have to use his construction company for your remodel, and it’s completely okay that you didn’t,” I comment, waving my hand across his back as a content smile teases on his face. “I don’t know why they think they’re entitled to a relationship with us just because they’re our parent, and shitty ones at that.”

“Tell me ‘bout it, they’re fookin’ mad. Think ‘s okay t’ treat their children like shit and like it’ll help their case, bloody swear there’s sumthin’ wrong in their heads,” he tuts, shaking his own as his eyes roll into the back of his head at his sentence. His eyes return to mine soon and they hold me there as he erases the last few tears lingering on my cheeks. “Enough o’ that, are ya alright, Becks?” I answer his question with a simple nod and the beginnings of happiness tickling my lips.

“Are we alright?” I risk slowly, realizing for the hundredth time that I could stare into his green eyes for the rest of eternity.

“Yes, bug, we’re good now. D’ya agree? ‘m really sorry fer snappin’ at ya yest’day, and fer ignorin’ ya,” Harry says, and I quickly confirm with a soft ‘yes’. I’m rewarded with a dazzling sunshine smile that begins to warm me from the feet up. “So, what d’ya say t’ hidin’ out inn’a conference room and watchin’ FRIENDS with some chicken gnocchi soup afta we block our parents’ numbas? Reckon we need t’ start tha bloody show already t’getha.”

“I’m sorry for snapping at you too, revenge never solves the problem. I know you were only trying to help me with the database,” I reply, receiving my answer when he squeezes my bicep affectionately. “Wait, but our team meeting, Harry. It’s to go over next week with you being gone,” I protest and his breathy laugh tickles my face.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. ‘s already started. ‘ll text My’ right now lettin’ him know sumthin’ came up, which ‘s true. We can meet up with him later t’ go ova what we missed,” he explains swiftly. I hold back a sigh when his arms leave me entirely to fish his phone from his pocket, eyes flitting to me. “Alright?”

“Yeah, are you?”

“Ya, ‘m good now. I got me Becks back,” he grins at me, winking before returning his wet eyes to his phone. They’re only gone for a few moments and then they’re on me again. “C’mon, Boops, let’s go get tha show set up. I think there’s a firestick in one o’ tha conference rooms on tha tv, can’t bloody rememba why tho’.”

I thought the next day would be easier, getting off the lift onto Seventeen, now that Harry and I had made up. Now, that we had connected even more it seemed over our shared parent trauma, and everything he said in his actions yesterday had changed things.

Regardless, it was only harder to step off the lift and to walk into my office, noticing his ajar door down the hall that all of next week will be closed. He had said yesterday while we set up FRIENDS that he’ll leave me a spare key to his office in case I need anything, like a book or something, but it still hurts. I don’t think I could convince myself to use it and go into his office, even if I did happen to need something.

My heart still aches at the sight of his door, and knowing that although it’s only nine days, I know from the last time that nine days of missing him felt like far more. I don’t even want to imagine what it will feel like this time, because I already know it will be hell.

After dropping off my stuff in my office and clocking in, I roamed around trying to find Harry. First, he wasn’t in his office surprisingly, nor the break room, or any of the conference rooms. I almost gave up entirely until I heard his voice trailing from the copier room where Mick left from, waving a hand to somebody in there. Was it him?

I struck gold when I opened the door and found him standing in front of the copier, an ebony button up cloaking his figure dotted with bright sunflowers. Flowing mustard slacks matching the color of the flowers cascade down his legs, and my oh my, does his hair look incredible, just like the rest of him. It hangs over his forehead in satiny curls, parted in the middle, and somewhere deep down I’m begging to touch it.

So, this is what 30 on Harry looks like, huh? It’s something else entirely, and holy shit, am I fan of 30 on him. He hasn’t heard my arrival yet, and instead, clucks his tongue as he does something on the copier. Feeling brave and sick of this whole game, I tip toe over to him and wind my arms around his waist.

“Happy Birthday, Harry,” I announce softly, bending my body to the side to look at his surprised face as he jumps.

“Bloody hell, Becks, ya gave me a fright, bug,” he exhales, a chuckle soon following his words. Releasing him much to my dismay, I step over to stand at his side, folding my hands in front of me.

“It’s not a birthday without a surprise.”

“I reckon so now,” he comments, waving the handful of papers at me with that dazzling smile framed by dark stubble. “Sorry, tha copier ‘s actin’ up ‘gain, ‘spose makin’ a few copies ‘s too much t’ ask fer.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. How’s the first day of your thirtieth year going otherwise?” I pose to him, discreetly pulling at the stomach of my plum long-sleeved dress that falls to my knees.

“Becks, don’t say it that way, yer makin’ me feel old,” he whines, sarcasm sticking to his words, but I also sense some truth there as well.

“Stop it, you’re not old, Harry!” I laugh, and he points his narrowed eyes at me with pouting lips. I swat at his arm playfully, and finally the pout dissolves into his delicious giggle.

“I know, Becks, ‘s jus’ hard turnin’ thirty.”

“How come?” I ask curiously, flashing back to the break room with Myles and what he said about Harry turning the big three-o.

“Coz I thought ‘d be married with kids by now, ‘s kinda sad t’ think’.”

“You have plenty of time to still do all of that,” I insist, squeezing his arm and he shows a brief smile, punching in options on the copier’s touch screen.

“I know, but ‘m ratha impatient, if ya didn’t notice.”

“So much for you saying that lawyers need to have patience,” I joke and he answers it with a nod, a melancholy smile sitting on his lips.

“I thought I’d have all of that too by twenty-six, but it’ll happen one day, I know. You can’t rush life.”

“Ya, I really hope so. There’s nuthin’ mo’ that I want than t’ be a dad one day,” he muses aloud, the words tugging at my heart strings, and nudging one of the last pieces of the shell away from my heart.

“I bet you’ll be a great dad, your kids will be lucky.”

“Ya think so?” Harry wonders aloud, returning his eyes to me once again. I find myself melting in front of him, it having happened too many times now to count. “I jus’ don’t wanna fook up like my dad did.”

“You won’t, Harry. I know it’s hard to not worry, because I feel the same way. I don’t want to be the kind of mum mine was, and sometimes it makes me not want to become a mother at all, in fear of that.”

“Hey, don’t talk that way. Tha man who gets t’ marry you one day and have a family with you ‘s tha luckiest in tha whole world, and yer kids as well. Yer too kind fer yer own good, and ya always take such good care o’ those ya love, Becks. I have a feelin’ you’ll be a wondaful motha one day,” Harry hums, the words finding their way straight to my heart, and stealing all of mine away.

“Thank you so much,” I reply adamantly, feeling a warmth spread over my body as his sunshine dawns on me. Stepping forward, I stand a little higher to press a kiss to his prickly cheek. “You’ll find the right one and have a lovely family soon too, I’m sure. They’ll all be so lucky, Harry.”

I almost think I see tears filling his eyes, but I’m not sure, and then within seconds I’m proven right. With his actions, he almost brings them to my eyes when his hand pulls mine into his, and his forehead meets mine for an affectionate little bump.

“Thanks, babe. Dunno what ‘d do without ya and yer motivational speeches sumtimes,” he smiles, stealing a kiss from my forehead as he squeezes my fingers between his own gently.

“Welcome,” I answer, missing the feeling of his head against mine, and all of the words it said. As well as how close we were to each other, and in so many ways. “Do you have any fun plans for your big day?”

“Nah, jus’ indoor rock climbin’ with Rory this aftanoon. ‘m already gettin’ ratha borin’ in me old age. I gotta save me energy fer me flight t’night.”

“You should do more to celebrate, Harry. It’s your day. You get to do whatever you want, and be whoever you want today. You call the shots,” I contend, hoping the words stick and that they don’t sound cheesy.

“Wow, I didn’t know it was Halloween, Becks,” he jokes, eliciting a sigh from me.

“Not what I meant,” I exhale, teasing lining my words as my hand slips from his, and my feet leave him.

“‘m kiddin’, bug. Don’t leave,” he begs, footsteps following mine and my hand returning to his. “Yer right, tho.’”

“Wait, I’m what? I don’t think I heard you,” I hum happily, eyes lighting with a playful fire that dance over to his.

“Rebecca Ann,” he protests, trying to hold back a smile, but it makes its way through the clouds to shine on me.

“Harry . . . “

“Edward,” he answers softly, finishing my sentence for me. I keep finding myself being dealt with surprises, and being proven wrong, because here I am falling again.

“Harry Edward,” I speak gently, focusing on the way each word feels coasting off of my tongue. “I like it.”

The smile bending his lips drops the dimples into his cheeks that round out as it climbs his face. It remains there for the rest of the day, gracing my eyes often, and I only wish that mine didn’t have to leave. I just wish that he could stay here with me always, wrapped up in this blissful moment; words, hands, and eye contact all intertwined with the other.

“What am I supposed to say? ‘Oh, hey, Harry. Let’s go to your surprise party.’ I’m the worst at lying and he knows it, so why are you making me do it?” I whine, hearing a ‘shhh’ that I shake my head at. “He can read me like a book, Myles, he’ll figure it out.”

“You’ll be fine, Becky. Why don’t you just tell him that myself and Pete are in the west conference room wanting his opinion on something? That’s believable enough, and try to say it with as straight of a face as possible.”

“Fine,” I relent, stomping away and down the wall. A deep breath struggles to settle inside my body when I stop a few steps away from Harry’s door. Instantaneously, my heart calms at the sound flowing from his office, not one but rather two.

Pushing the door open, I find him sitting back in his office chair, scrolling through a page on his iMac. Loud nineties music pours from the black JBL bluetooth speaker on a shelf, a song I somehow missed that we both love. Now, I won’t let the chance fly right past me.

“Stop right now, thank you very much! I need somebody with a human touuuuuuuch. Hey you, alllllllways on the run, gotta slow it down baby, gotta have some funnnnnn!” I loudly sing along with him, watching his eyes lift to me, and the happiness that fills them.

“Gotta keep it down honey, lay yer back on tha line. ‘Cause I don’t care about tha money, don’t be wastin’ my time!” he belts out in return with hands and eyes raised to the ceiling passionately. He uses his own loud and poor singing voice as well that melts into a loud laugh. “Didn’t peg ya fer a Spice Girls fan, Becks,” he comments after turning down the song that now hums in the background.

“Oh yeah, I’ve always loved them. I had all of their CDs, I watched their movie so many times I ruined the tape, and their posters covered my walls. It was worrying at times how much I loved them,” I joke, admiring the crinkling of his eyes as happiness spreads across his face.

“Ya sound like me sista, she was proper obsessed with ‘em. Growin’ up inna house with only girls, I got dragged into tha stuff they liked at times, but ‘m glad I did with tha Spice Girls. They have some o’ tha best songs t’ jam out t’.” With an agreeing nod, my hands settle on the crest of the left chair facing his desk.

“Which one is your favourite?”

“Um, I dunno, I think Baby Spice. She has a wicked voice, was always funny, and so bloody cute. I mean, they all had killer voices, tho’. How ‘bout you, bug?” he answers, twirling a pen around in his fingers as we speak.

“No way?! Mine is Baby Spice too, so it looks like I don’t have to break up with you over that, either!” I tease, watching sunshine paint his face and warm me from the center. He nods wholeheartedly and wags a finger at me with that breathy giggle tickling my ears. “I don’t really know why, I feel like a favorite thing like that always chooses you. I connected with her somehow, like I feel like I connected with my favourite Pokemon,” I laugh and a raspy confirmation falls from his lips. “Anyways, I came to tell you that Myles and Pete were asking for you. I ran into one of them out there, and they wanted your advice on something. They’re in the west conference room, I don’t know what they’re working on.”

“Ah, okay. Shall we go see what they’re up t’?” Harry says, and my nodding head answers his question. I follow him out of his office, feeling relief when I exhale, thinking I may have gotten away with it.

At his side on our way to the conference room where all of the lawyers, Asher and a few others from I.T. wait to yell ‘surprise!’ at Harry, I fall back into a memory. I hadn’t thought about it for awhile, but suddenly, I recall the surprise party I was thrown here. It was for my going away party, and with that remembrance, my heart takes a little dive. I find it ironic that Harry organized my surprise party then, and now, I’m walking him to his surprise party I organized. The circle of life, I guess. I sure am glad this party will be a much happier occasion, or so I hope, considering Harry told Myles he didn’t want anything. A part of me worries he’ll be upset and annoyed, and will hide it in fear of disappointing Myles and I.

Luckily, the conference rooms here aren’t made of glass walls and so none of my secrets come pouring out before they have to. When Harry opens the door casually, a loud ‘SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARRY!’ sounds from the long room. With clenched fists in my pockets, I wait for his reaction, and am pleasantly surprised when the sunshine makes another appearance on his face. It collapses into laughter marked by reddening cheeks as he steps forward to give hugs, and I wander over to Asher.

“Again, why are you over here talking to me?” he asks me about ten minutes later, handing me a beer after uncapping it.

“What?” I reply, my eyes panning over to him with confusion dawning in them.

“You should be talking to Harry, considering it was your idea to throw him a birthday party, which he looks pretty happy about.”

“It wasn’t all my idea, Ash, it was Myles’ too,” I respond, turning the bottle in my hands to look at the label when I find I actually like it. That’s a first for me enjoying beer, but maybe that’s because my dad and Robbie only ever enjoyed the shitty cheap kind that tasted like watered down piss.

“Sure it was, I bet it wouldn’t have even happened if it weren’t for you. Wait, does he even know who he has to thank for all of this?”

“It’s not that deep, Ash, it’s just a simple birthday party,” I answer, shrugging my shoulders as I pick up my slice of pizza to take a bite from it.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

“I’m also his employee and his colleague, Ash, it’s different at work- well, outside of closed doors,” I sigh, glancing over to Harry who laughs loudly at something Mick said, a blonde girl at his side, eyeing him up. Ugh.

“Sorry, I forgot that part, you can’t really get past that.”

“No, you can’t,” I comment softly, my brow falling in concentration as my eyes follow the girl’s tall figure, and Harry’s eyes over to her. “I hate it, it’s so hard sometimes.”

“No duh- wait, what is it exactly? I thought you lawyers were supposed to be good with your words, or something,” he teases, and I meet his eyes that all playfulness leaks out of when he sees mine.

“That, Ash. A girl flirting with him and I can’t do anything about it. It’s so hard having to act like ‘we just work together’ outside of closed doors when he’s become my best friend all over again. A best friend who holds my hand and kisses my cheek behind closed doors,” I exhale, setting the paper plate down on the long oval table in front of us, my appetite suddenly absent. “I know I shouldn’t get so upset, but . . “

“But it’s hard when you’ve felt so strongly about somebody for years, and things are starting to happen. Am I right?”

My head shakes with a nod as I pick at the plastic label peeling on the dark beer bottle. A sorry falls from his lips softly that I don’t acknowledge, because ‘sorrys’ are never not awkward, I feel like.

“Ask him out already, Becky, you know that you want to.”

“I know, Ash, but I couldn’t handle starting all of that when he’s going to be gone for a week. It would drive me insane missing him, even more than I know I’m already going to. I’m waiting until he gets back,” I explain, sure I don’t make any sense, but I don’t make any sense to myself sometimes, either.

“You’re waiting a week either way, wouldn’t you rather wait a week and be a little happier after telling him how you feel?”

“I know. You’re right, and I wish you weren’t . . You know what, I’m going to go and use the bathroom before everybody starts seeing me cry,” I admit self-deprecatingly in a long exhale, the tears already pressing at the back of my eyes.

I hate that I’m getting sad when this is supposed to be a happy time, but it gets all the harder when I remember that Harry leaves tonight for over a week. He nods, patting my arm after taking my beer before I leave the room, emotions racing through my head.

So many desires, too, that I wish I could have fulfilled already.

“What, you didn’t know? How the fuck didn’t you?”

“Didn’t know what?” I question, taking a swig from my beer as I wait for his answer. His face is screwed up in disbelief for only a second and then it relaxes, still making me feel stupid for not knowing.

“It was Becky who did all of this. Granted, I wanted to do something for you, but you never would have let me, you prick. She came to me and insisted on throwing you a party. I just bought the pizza and the beers. I already know she’ll be a wicked lawyer with that fire in her. She made the cake as well, and stayed late last night to help set up,” Myles explains, and now my facial features do a dance of their own as I stare back at him dumfoundedly. “I can’t believe you didn’t know, you bloody idiot. Even more proof she’s mad about you.”

“Fookin’ hell, ‘course it was all her, and I haven’t even said a word t’ her this whole time,” I huff, my arm dropping to my side as conflict rages through my limbs. Tearing my eyes away from Myles, my excited eyes dance across the room looking for her, but she’s nowhere to be found. “Hold this, would ya?”

“Fuck, Hare, go bloody snog her already. Reckon it’s the only thing you can do to make up for being such a bleeding idiot not knowing it was her who did all of this.”

“Shuddup already, My’,” I retort, shoving the beer into his hands as my feet pick up, electricity coursing through me. I take another cursory look around the room and again. She’s gone, but he isn’t.

“Where’s Becks?” I hurriedly say to Asher who busies himself with his phone in the corner, two beer bottles clutched between the fingers of his other hand. His eyes flit to me and I think I’ve caught him off guard. “I reckon that’s her beer, so where’d she go?”

“To use the loo.”

I don’t manage a reply with the impatience dominating my actions, but he doesn’t let me get very far when I hear his voice again, saying my name.

“I don’t think she can wait anymore,” is all he says and right away, I know what he means.

“Neither can I.”

Now, it’s his turn to nod, but I hardly see it as I’m already walking out of the room. My legs hurry down the hallway, feet pounding on the tiled floor towards the break room and nearby bathrooms. Something makes me pause when I reach her office, and there I find her with her back to me in front of the floor to ceiling window. I’m reminded of how stunning she looks in that knee length, long sleeved, plum dress that threw me for a loop this morning. I realize belatedly the smile pulling my lips towards my eyes, and the butterflies fluttering in my chest as so many thoughts fill my head.

“Ya’ve escaped on me, bug, how come?” I decide to say, taking a step into her office that’s slowly becoming hers. I catch glances of the framed pictures lining her desk, and the fun we had the other day looking at them. Seen in them are her and her dad, her and Robbie as kids and then as adults, and a similar two parter with now and then pictures of herself and Skye. I’m still waiting for the day I see myself in one of them. “Alright?”

“Yeah, of course. I could never be sad on your birthday, the day you were born,” she answers, but I don’t need to see her speak to make out the conflicting evidence in her voice. She also doesn’t hide the surprised inhale when I wind my arms around her middle from behind, and press a soft kiss to her temple. Fuck, I haven’t had something feel this right in such a long time, and yet it never feels like enough. “What are you doing? My door is wide open, and anybody could see, Harry. You’re my boss.”

“I don’t care, ‘m their boss too. I wanted t’ give you a hug. Myles jus’ told me tha party was all yer idea, that ya came t’ him and insisted on doin’ it. I had no idea, Becks, and ‘m sorry. ‘ve neva had a good surprise party ‘til now, y’know. ‘m already lovin’ it, bug, ya had all me fav’ things there - pizza, beers, a chocolate cake with bloody Power Rangers figures on it, and cute li’l party decorations,” I hum against her head where my cheek rests, watching her eyelashes flutter below me as she laughs.

“You actually like it? I was afraid that you’d hate it, you’ve never been one for surprises. Myles said you didn’t want anything like it, so I was doubting myself all up until the last second.”

“No, I love it, babe. It was so thoughtful and sweet o’ you. I didn’t want anythin’, but ya made it all so special with me fav’ things. Y’know, ‘m dyin’ t’ try yer cake,” I tell her, watching that one dimple fill her left cheek that I don’t think she even realizes she has, but damn, the things it does to me when I see it.

It’s been a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts, and wishes ever since she walked back through the doors of the firm, and it’s like she never even left. Too often, I’m made aware of how many times the both of us left in the past, and they only make me want to never leave again. It’s the very thing I have to do tonight and I don’t know how I’m going to survive being away from her for nine days, when I had just gotten her back.

“We should probably go back and sing you happy birthday, it’s about that time.”

Another wave of feelings hits me when she turns around in my arms, and I see the traces of spent tears in her eyes that I brush away with my thumb. My hand falls from her and finds her trembling fingers I caress with my own. It contradicts the happiness filling me, and propels me forward and towards her lips. I watch them curl into a smile that echoes in her eyes, and mirrors my own. I’m seconds away from mine touching hers when I hear a voice, and not the one I want.

“There ya are, Hare! I know you hate having happy birthday sung to you, but let’s get it over with,” Myles jests from behind me as my eyes stare out the window, debilitating disappointment covering me in sheets.

“Ya, be there inna sec,” I retort, a sigh finishing my words as my eyes fall to her. It’s a wonder to me how she can hide hers so well, because she just stares up at me in awe, stealing all of my frustration away in the moment.

“Fookin’ My’,” I laugh, and her adorable one follows mine while I twirl a lock of her hair around my finger.

“Let’s go and sing to you, birthday boy,” Becks says with a grin, but I can hear it in her voice where she thinks she can hide the sadness. I’m afraid there’s not much she can hide from me after all of this time, and I know that the same goes for me with her. “We have all the time in the world when you get back from your trip,” she comments softly with a squeeze of my hand, and I realize she’s right. Not just that, her words slowly click with me, piecing a puzzle together that’s nearly finished. A puzzle over two years in the making. A silent understanding passes between us, and finally, she reveals that she also wants to wait to start things until I’m back. Although I’m sad, I’m grateful for it too, because I wouldn’t be able to handle leaving her tonight for over a week if I had just kissed her now. I can barely handle the thought of leaving her, as it is.

“We do, don’t we, bug?” I concur aloud and she nods as I squeeze her hand in return, my feet lifting from the ground. So does my heart, as the secret I finally found out resounds with me.

I don’t want to wait the nine days until I come back, but I know that I should. I know that we’re holding the other to it now, and it fills me with a cooling sensation of relief. After fucking over two years of waiting, I guess I can wait another nine days, even if there’s little stopping me from kissing her right now.

“It’s a good thing you didn’t get single candles, Becky, or else Harry here would be setting off the smoke alarms blowing those out,” Jennings comments from across me as an orange flame appears at the end of the lighter. My laugh joins those of the others in the room as the two candles, a 3 and a 0, come to life.

Setting down the lighter, I stand back and join the crowd surrounding the table, the song beginning from our lips. ‘Happy Birthday’ fills the room as Harry stands in front of the cake with pink, dimpled cheeks and a nervous excitement coating him. A hand hides in his pockets as the other comes to cover his face until the last line. His green eyes float over to me and remain there as he leans down, large hands pressed to the table as he blows out his candles.

“Oooo, Harry’s got a girlfriend!” several people exclaim at the sight of one lit candle remaining, those green eyes still glued to me with a sparkle inside of them. He’s really fucking testing my patience today.

I swear to God, Harry.

A nervousness sits at the edge of my actions and words as I cut the cake and serve it, Harry soon stealing me away to the side to gush about how much he loves it. I couldn’t stop replaying the moment from my office in my head as I ate my own slice and soon disappeared to there again, worried I forgot to wrap a present or left one at home.

“Ya keep runnin’ away from me, bug, what’s goin’ on?” Harry chirps from my doorway, sauntering into my office when I turn around, shutting the door behind him. “Ooooo, are those me presents I see? Holy shit, Becks, ya didn’t hafta get me so many o’ ‘em.”

“I wanted to. I finally get to spend your birthday with you after all these years,” I smile with a shrug of my shoulders, a nervous laugh falling from his blushing lips.

“I knew I saved tha best fer last.”

“Sit down,” I say, picking up the Power Rangers bag I’m amazed I found at the shops.

“Bloody hell, Ms. Holte is gettin’ bossy.” I chuckle along with him as I set the bag at his feet, finding a seat on the sofa next to him. He winks at me as he pats my knee and I give in, scooting closer to leave only a few inches between us.

The smiles on the both of our faces grow with every present he unwraps, and my anxious heart relaxes. I’m not sure which he enjoyed most, the whiskey and oak candle he smelled at my house once that he loved, the multicolored guitar strap with Keith Haring art, the FRIENDS mug full of quotes in the same font, Paul McCartney’s album RAM on a pristine vinyl, the blush button up decorated with black outlines of roses, or the one I was saving for last.

“Becks, you didn’t,” he giggles, saying that line for perhaps the third time now as I set the lidded metal pan in his hands.

“I know your first pan is already gone, so here’s another one.”

“Love, ‘m gonna get fat from all o’ these brownies,” he titters, patting the lid happily before his eyes return to mine. “Ya spoil me too much.”

“I know,” I agree, the tears soon taking hold of my words. “But I really missed my best friend this last year, and I’m going to miss him even more when he’s gone next week,” I sigh, the tears peeking out in my voice.

“Becks,” he hums sadly, setting the pan down on the floor before pulling me into his arms. “I missed me best friend as well, too bloody much, I reckon. So much so that I don’t want t’ leave her fer tha next week,” he reveals, emotion stealing the balance from his voice.

“Can I come with you the next time?”

“‘Course bug, ‘m sorry it didn’t work out this time. It was jus’ too short notice. I wish ya could, tho’,” he responds, his long fingers donning his many rings leaving warm circles on my back.

My nod answers his sentence as my hands find the satiny fabric of his button up, one daring to play with a curl of his before cupping his shoulder. My tears dry up on my cheek pressed to his shoulder, but they threaten a return when he kisses the top of my head, making me wonder when the next time will be that I get another.

“Y’know, Rore was s’posed t’ go rock climbin’ with me t’day, but he called in sick. I figure he’s prolly jus’ hungova, but ya said I get whateva I want on me birthday, so I want ya t’ come with me instead,” Harry announces, squeezing me in our hug before I look up at him.

“I’ll have to stop home for some different clothes.”

“That’s fine, we can ride togetha in my Rover and we’ll stop by yer flat,” he explains, and I hum a happy ‘okay’ as he brushes the back of his fingers across my cheeks. “Don’t want me birthday t’ end jus’ yet, ‘m havin’ so much fun with me best friend.”

The blinking cursor stares back at me, and yet I can’t find the motivation to write anything. My thoughts are too immersed in the events of today. My arms around his waist, and then his around mine. My hand in his before he almost kissed me in his office, and again during the ride to and from the indoor rock climbing place. We agreed on listening to Spice Girls in the car, and during the too relatable parts in the songs ‘Say You’ll Be There’ and sometimes in ‘2 Become 1’, I felt his hand squeeze mine and I held his a little tighter at those moments, too.

I couldn’t count the number of times we laughed while tucked into those harnesses, my hands and feet slipping on the grips of the rock wall. I knew he was competitive, but holy shit, he proved me wrong this afternoon. He did it again when I thought I knew how good he looked in tight jogging sweats, but I learned about it all again from my often vantage point below him on the wall.

I’ve been trying to avoid the purple clock in my office for what feels like hours, but I know it hasn’t been that long. The time had gone by faster than I thought it had when I finally look, my limbs suddenly feeling heavy when the clock reads 4:08 pm. I try to return to my work, typing up the last few sentences for the final document for his- our case. I can’t, knowing he’ll be leaving any minute now, and not knowing how I’m going to say goodbye to him. All of these times, we’ve said it, but never knew it would be the last one for a while. I almost miss that ignorance, almost.

“Ya might break it, if ya stare at it any harder, bug.” Hastily looking to my doorway, there he is with his Northface on and messenger bag at his side. “C’mere,” he says softly, a sadness clinging to his voice and the hand he waves towards himself.

I oblige and within moments, I let my head fall to his chest, my cheek brushing against his exposed skin and metal necklace.

“Nine days is a long time,” I mumble, my hands falling to rest at the middle of his back.

“Feels that way fer me too.”

“It’ll be okay, though,” I hum hopefully, savoring the feeling of being tucked away safely in his arms.

“Ya, it will, won’t it?” he responds gently, one hand waving goodbyes against my back and the other cupping my head to his chest. I almost start crying again when he plants a kiss on the top of my head, his special spot. “Ya, it’ll be okay, Becks. You’ll learn loads from Myles, and ‘ll still be there blowin’ up yer phone like usual with texts and calls.”

A moment of happiness flows from my mouth at his words, and a few seconds of his giggle joins mine.

“I’m going to really miss you,” I finally voice aloud for him to hear, but it doesn’t feel like enough for what I’m feeling. The dread, the anxiousness, the debilitating sadness, the frustration, and the anger I feel towards the world. He almost succeeds in ridding my body of their nervous trembles, but what will I do when I can’t go to him for a hug when I need to calm down or when I just want one?

“‘m gonna miss ya mo’, bug.”

“Oh, so it’s a competition now? Why of course it is with you,” I scoff, lifting my head to meet his eyes that brew a concoction of bittersweetness.

“I guess so, Boops,” he smirks, tapping the point of my nose. For a while there, it felt like a blind competition of who was going to make the first move between us, but now, I trust we’re both planning to wait until he returns, and is back for good. When we both are. “Y’know, me case could get done early or take longa.”

“Don’t say that,” I sigh with bent eyebrows that he tries to smooth out with the pad of his thumb.

“Sorry, bug, but ‘s tha brutal truth o’ bein’ a lawyer and that’s yer life now. It doesn’t always go how ya want it t’. I reckon, ‘s tha truth o’ life actually.”

“Yeah, I know. I don’t like it,” I exhale, diving back into his arms for one last time, wishing I knew when the next time it would be that I get to do this again. There’s so little stopping me from getting on my tiptoes and kissing the sadness out of him.

“I should go, me flight ‘s soon,” Harry whispers a minute later, his nose brushing against my temple.

“Yeah, we don’t want the birthday boy to be late for his big case starting Monday,” I say with a fake smile, squeezing him one last time and then moving away to zip his coat up the rest of the way.

“Thanks fer the best birthday ‘ve had inna long time, Becks. It meant tha world t’ me, I hope y’know,” he coos from above me, but I avoid his eyes as I tuck his necklace back into his shirt. “‘ll call ya once I land, ‘kay? ‘ll be back soon, Becks,” he murmurs against my temple, lips falling to my cheek where they press a long last kiss there. His thumb hooks under my chin and lifts my avoidant eyes to his. “‘ll miss ya mo’ than y’know.”

“Bye, Harry. I’ll see you in nine days,” I hardly manage to make out, holding onto the semisweet smile hugging his lips. I feel one last squeeze from him where my hand stays in his, and then he walks away. He chances one last look over his shoulder, and I’m positive he couldn’t miss the first tear on my cheek, because I watch the first one fall from his eyes.

A huff falls from lips as I rub at my eyes, a yawn soon leaving me. Walking out of my office, my eyes linger down the hall at his dark door that still isn’t any easier to look at five days later. Even after his surprise FaceTime this morning in his most adorable purple robe to drink morning coffee together, watching FRIENDS last night on FaceTime, or all of the random texting conversations we’ve been having, I miss him even worse.

Swinging my empty water bottle around the handle on my finger, I soon find myself alone in the break room. The fridge closes with a soft clud as I set the Brita water pitcher on the counter, screwing off the top to my water bottle.

“Don’t spill it!” somebody says from behind me, making me jump and spill the water I’m pouring into my steel water bottle.

“Don’t do that, Harry!” I exclaim automatically, peeking back at the person who scared me. I groan and turn back to my water, but then something clicks in my head.

Harry.

He’s back!

“Harry!” I almost shout, turning back to him. I find a smile as bright as the sun staring back at me. “You’re back early!”

“Ya, I finished me case early and wanted t’ come say hi. I won it, Becks, we won it,” he replies happily.

With wide eyes, I feel my lips split into a smile. Throwing my arms around his neck, I wrap him in a hug.

“Harry, that’s wonderful! I’m so proud of you! I know how nervous you were for this case,” I hum into his warm neck. His musky cologne surrounds me as his arms do the same around my middle.

“Thanks so much, Becks. I sure missed havin’ ya there by me side givin’ me advice and correctin’ me notes,” he rasps with a small laugh, and I feel his warm words dance across my head.

“Well, it looks like you didn’t need it,” I tell him, pulling away to find his dimples caved into his cheeks. His pearly whites smile back at me. I squeeze his arm and smile back at him, filling with pride and happiness.

“Ya, coz you were still there, bug. I appreciated yer calls and texts, love, and ‘course all tha times watchin’ FRIENDS togetha. It did wondas t’ take me mind off tha case.”

I’m not sure what else to do besides smile at him, but then I feel the right words come to me. Or the closest to right. “I can’t say enough how proud I am of you, and how happy I am, too. But I’m not surprised, because you’re a pretty damn great lawyer.”

A blush rises to his cheeks and he looks down all abashed. “Thanks, that means loads comin’ from you.”

“What, why would it mean a lot coming from me? I haven’t even been practicing for a month, and meanwhile you have been for years,” I ask, searching for the answer in his eyes. But when he lets me see them again, I can’t tell what it is.

“Jus’ does, Becks . . I wanna make ya proud.”

“Well, you’ve already done that a few times over,” I laugh heartily. He nods and sticks his hands into the pockets of his black skinny jeans. A multicolored flannel and Beatles shirt dons his upper half. Checkered Vans claim his feet, and sunglasses are caught in his hair. It’s all the epitome of comfy airport clothes.

“What are you going to do with the rest of your days off? You still have tomorrow and Friday before you’re due back on Monday.”

“Um, I dunno. ‘ll prolly stay home and unpack. Do a bit o’cleanin’ and catch up on sleep. That bloody jet lag ‘s no joke,” he confesses, losing a hand in his air as he giggles.

“Yeah, you seem to have a hard time with that, I’m sorry. You should try some of that Sleepy Time tea before bed, it always helps me. Or reading. Or exercising,” I blurt out, feeling like the nonsensical words will never stop.

“Thanks, I’ll stop by tha shops and pick some up. Wasn’t that tha one I had on accident at yer place tha one time?”

“You mean the night you zonked out on my sofa at eight pm?” I chuckle and he nods with red cheeks.

“Ya, that one. I s’pose that stuff really works.”

“Mmmhmmm,” I reply. Again, the words are bubbling up into my throat. And then the silent promise we made to the other falls back into my thoughts, as well as the one I made what feels like so long ago now. Just ask him out when he gets back then, it’d be too annoying starting to date while he’s away, Skye had said.“I uh . . .”

“Ya, Becks?” Harry responds, and I look back up to find his patient eyes on me. A smile bends his lips and I feel it fill me with courage, egging me on.

And that’s what makes the words fall from my lips.

“I was wondering if you’re doing anything Friday night?”

He almost says something, but there’s a creak when the door opens. My face falls when I realize it, and a confused look paints Harry’s face. Rory prances over and pats Harry on the back, before scooping him into a hug.

Looking to the floor with a shy smile, I step away from the reunion. I grab a towel from the drawer and clean up my mess. I screw the top onto my water bottle before tossing the rag into the bin under the sink.

“Wow, man! I can’t believe ya did it. Ya put on a great defense from what I heard from Mick’s friend,” Rory exclaims before pouring into question after question.

I can’t hide the disappointment coating my features inside and out. I finally got the courage to ask him, and I was interrupted. And now, I don’t think I could find that courage again.

Grabbing my water bottle, I walk over to the fridge and steal a yogurt from a shelf. The door closes with a soft click as I go to walk around them.

“Becks, wait,” Harry says, making me stop in my tracks. Turning to find his eyes on me, I watch confusion screw up Rory’s face.

“Rore, there was sumthin’ I needed t’ ask Becky ‘bout. I’ll catch ya aftawards, ya?” Harry turns to him and says.

I feel my heart almost hiccup inside of my chest. And with it, I feel it start to gallop back into nervous territory.

“Yeah sure, man. I can’t wait to hear all about it,” Rory replies, patting him on the shoulder before the door closes behind him.

And then it’s just Harry and I, again.

“Hey, sorry ‘bout that. I haven’t seen anybody else yet, so he was surprised t’ see me,” Harry tells me. God, Harry, stop making my heart do all of these jumpy things, please. Holy shit, he basically said I’m the first person he came to see. Uh wow, that is uh-. “Becks?” Harry repeats. I blink and watch his features materialize in front of me again.

“Yeah, sorry,” I say, shaking my head.

“’s okay. What were ya sayin’ ‘bout Friday?” he continues, and I swear my heart just keeps jumping, making it even more harder to speak. But I have to do it. I have to try.

“Um, I was wondering . . . . If you wanted to try out that new restaurant, Rafael’s, on 3rd? L-Like a date?” I say, forcing the words out one after the other, or else I won’t get them out. “Because I remember you said before it opened that you’d like to try it and your friend owns it and-.”

“Yes, I’d love t’, Becks. I’d love t’ go onna date with you t’ Rafael’s,” Harry interrupts, his words coming out like molasses with a syrupy sweet smile. They fill in and soothe all of the worries fighting inside of me. And immediately squash the doubts.

With that, my heart calms down and I feel a happiness soar through my veins. One I haven’t felt in a long time. It climbs higher and higher when I take a leap and jump into his arms, hearing his breathy laugh I missed so fucking much.

“Goddamit, Harry, I missed you so much,” I confess into his chest, my eyes falling closed as I finally feel like I can relax, and four days early at that. A chuckle rumbles through his warm chest while his familiar scent could lull me to sleep. I missed that too, his peppery vanilla cologne, and how safe I feel in his arms that hold me against him.

I can’t believe all of this, what just happened and the fact that he’s here, and back with me. He’s with me.

“Fookin’ hell, I missed ya mo’, Becks,” he reveals, words falling into my hair seconds before he surprises me with a kiss to my cheek.

It only intensifies when I dare to look up and find those green eyes looking at me in a way I’ve never seen. Now, I finally get a feeling of what I’ve looked like this whole time. This whole time I’ve been looking at him with the beginnings of love in my eyes.

Finally, we’re here.

27 notes · View notes

otonymous · 4 years ago

Note

Hi Otonymous! How are you?! 😊❤ I randomly thought of Qs to ask you so I dropped by! 😆 1. What made you start writing fics? Was there like a "I want to write!" moment or a particular inspiration? 2. Do you read fanfics yourself? I'm asking this bc personally I used to LOVE reading fics before (been reading fics since my YOUNG days) but ever since I started writing em myself, I've stopped actively seeking them; I'll read the ones my friends write in a fandom I'm familiar w/ tho). ❤❤❤

Hello, my dear @heavenzfiend! 🥰 It’s so nice to get a message from you in my Ask box! I’m doing very well, thank you. How about yourself? 💖 Btw, I LOVE these questions!

1. I’d have to say that a combination of extreme thirst and being unwilling to drop a good chunk of cash on Ikemen Sengoku was what first propelled me into the world of fanfiction. I remember getting all hot and bothered while playing through Masamune’s route and then instantly regretting the moment I went for the normal story instead of the premium option at one point.

(I’m so sorry, Masamune...I’ve failed you 😭🤣)

So of course I had to search around to see if some “dirty Ikemen Sengoku stories” existed (I didn’t even know that “smut” was the proper term at this point, see how green I was? 🤣) and google led me to the shiny world of Tumblr! I totally fell down the rabbit hole from that point onwards.

Along the way, I stumbled upon a number of amazing stories written for a game called Samurai Love Ballad Party and was blown away by the quality of writing (I still remember your incredible Alone Again fic, my friend. It was so emotionally charged and remains a favourite of mine 💖). Many, many hours of sleep were lost poring over fics written by talented writers such as yourself, @dear-mrs-otome, @pseudofaux, @pickle-scribbles and a few others. I had toyed with the idea of writing my own fanfics but was very hesitant to post them online because of the fact that it would leave me in a very vulnerable position — you never know how others will react, especially when anonymity is so easily achieved with the Internet.

But then one day I came across a beautiful piece of fanart on my dash and it fit the story I had just written perfectly, so I took that to be a sign to gather up my courage and just post it. And that was the start of my fanfic writing days!

2. I do read fanfics, although not as much as I would like to recently. Before I started writing, I was a voracious consumer of fanfics, but it’s been a challenge to find the time to read them in between working on my own content and focusing on everything else that needs to be done in a day’s time. Although, like yourself, I do try to read the ones my friends and mutuals write in our shared fandoms! I have to say though that there is definitely a certain excitement that comes with searching for hot fics in new fandoms I’m thinking of dipping my toes into! 🤩

Thank you so much for this lovely and thought-provoking Ask, @heavenzfiend! I had a ton of fun answering your questions! 💖

#q&a #heavenzfiend #writer asks #get to know me #TYSM for the Ask my dear!#ikesen masamune #ikesen #slbp

22 notes · View notes

lockhvrts · 4 years ago

Note

Hey Em! How you feeling about tlou2? I'm still sobbing 😭

hi rilee :’) hope you're doing well❤️ i actually wanted to ask you too lmao and same this game wrecked me

..okay so i have many thoughts n things i want to say id actually just would link you a review that goes more into detail and is more cohesive than my messy essay so i’ll try my best and keep this short as possible tho and i apologize for my english lmfao :

SPOILERS FOR TLOU2 OBVIOUSLY

also if anyone disagrees with me and is about to send me an essay why i am a h*mophobic, tr*nsphobic and alt r*ght piece of trash bc i didnt praise the shit out of tlou2

i'm glad that you enjoyed the game so much that its a masterpiece and 10/10 in your eyes , i honestly respect your opinion (and i wanted to love this game too) but maybe rethink what you're about to do and let other people have different opinions without bashing them? it literally doesn't affect you in any way that i didn't enjoy it ( and no it wasn't enjoyable for me bc a character i like died)

postive:

the gameplay is fluid and responsive (there were some minor issues but its still great), definitely improved compared to the first game, id love to have a little bit of more enemy variety bc it got kind of tiring after the 20th encounter that basically felt the same as the ones before (tho i appreciate the stealth gameplay , sneaking around the map and taking out enemies while being prone like in mgsv was thrilling)

animation, graphics , level design, acting, sound design: ND succeeded in creating another jaw dropping immersive cinematic experience is all i have to say, this is one the best looking games i've ever played (i cant believe a 7 yr old machine can run this game)

music: i'm glad that gustavo santaolalla is back for the sequel! it wouldn't feel the same without him, his music adds so much to the experience

negative: the controversial part lmao

story, characters: I’ll be honest i prefer tlou1 + left behind story wise. i personally don't like the structure of it in the sequel, too many empty side characters, some character / plot decisions generally didn't make sense for me, the dialogue/writing felt out of place and kind of odd sometimes (compared to the scenes from the flashbacks with joel and ellie) and the last hours were dragged out for some reason i just wanted to be done as quickly as possible with it tbh

jesse was your typical nice guy™ who will definitely be killed off to move the plot forward. the only thing i remember is that he’s dinas ex boyfriend + father of jj dont get me wrong i like and didn't mind him but he has nothing interesting to add to the story. also funny how they literally did not mention him once after his death

owen and the other WLF members were just kinda there..? i don't have much else to say about them besides that they felt empty i tried to understand them and their stories but i didn't care for them in the end its prob my fault but henry, sam, bill and riley were more compelling to me

lev and yara were great i liked them both , its just that especially lev was just there to make abby seem more humane, i didn't like that ND tried to create a similar dynamic between them like in the first game with ellie and joel it didn't particularly make me like her more speaking of which:

abby shows barely to no remorse for the things she did. what she did show was that she enjoyed torturing joel, killing seraphites and almost knowingly murdering a pregnant women (dina) and now ND shoves us this forced narrative of her being a good person into our face like how she would've accepted to die for the cure, has friends and a dog that she treats well (which we as ellie were forced to kill to make her seem even more like a villain in contrast to abby) , takes care of yara and lev (granted out of guilt for joel maybe? but i'm not sure) also making her seem more humane bc she has a fear of height? but abby would kill anyone who is not on her good side this time without a problem as we’ve seen plenty while playing as her what i'm surprised about is that i weirdly didn't hate her or anything guess they succeeded in making me feel some pity for her in the end

yes i also had some issues with the way tommy, ellie and joel were portrayed but i think i'm gonna stop here and give you a

TLDR:

gameplay ,graphics, animation, acting etc: solid 9/10

story (structure, writing, dialogue,characters etc) : 4-5/10 seems harsh but i am comparing it to the first game, if this was a different ip maybe an 8/10

all in all a its 6-7/10 for me, this game made me feel emotions (not particularly positive ones lmfao) i've never felt in any other medium before, only the first game comes close.

tlou2 is bleak, hopeless and messy at times with some rare light moments like the flashbacks of joel and ellie that i enjoyed the most and wished we’d gotten more of while also exploring joel and ellie's present relationship on her quest of finding the truth about the hospital incident and maybe also learning more about her immunity alas this was not the case as seemingly promoted by neil and some misleading trailers.

would i want to play this again? to be honest not really I’ll maybe try clearing the trophies but going back to just casually play it like i did with tlou1 no i don't think so for now.

#asks #apocalypsekid #finally done this took me way too long #i am actually scared to publish this but f it lmao #also my grammar is awful but yeah #tlou2 spoilers #(just in case)#txt.personal #long post #why was this tagged as g**ingedit DHJSGDG #*edit bc i phrased it weird:#i dont hate tlou2 i can see what nd was trying to do; the story just had pacing and writing issues IMO #(the fact that a character i liked died has nothing to do with my relatively low rating)

19 notes · View notes

lilxmcrtes · 4 years ago

Note

My URL, The URL Meme

Send Me A URL and I’ll Respond With My Opinions... | @thornstocutyouwith | Mun

Roleplaying/Writing

My favorite muse(s) of theirs and why

Gosh dang it. You’re really gonna make me pick? Alright... for now I’m gonna go with Lief because he’s a Good Boy (tm). So sweet and caring to Oliver. Their relationship is so nice when Lief isn’t bringing / cooking wild animals in his home x’D Also I just enjoy his view on things. So simple, and amusing at times

My favorite interaction/thread of theirs

Again. Pick?! Hm... That food fight in the IMs was pretty funny x3 Aeron and Jace making play bites their Thing (tm) was also good. Or that thing with them as kids playing with dino toys together. It wasn’t a thread but it was so freaking cute

My thoughts on their unique characterization/interpretation of their muse(s)

CONTENT. ALL THE C O N T E N T!!!!!

Anyone that gets to see such content should feel blessed. You have SO MANY muses and they’re all so unique and real. Also seriously love how they connect in this relationship web that I’ve only seen part of

My thoughts on their writing style as a whole

Good shit bro. Sometimes a little overwhelming but good

Situation(s)/Plot(s) I’d love to see their muse(s) in

ALL OF THEM??!?! But to be more specific, H.unger G.ames or T.he G.ood P.lace plot would be cool. Ooo A.merican H.orror S.tory? C.oven or A.pocolypse? Omg humor me with a C.ells At W.ork AU. ( Eira and Tancred can be the white and red blood cell!!! ) Or another anime, P.arasyte? U.mbrella A.cademy?! D.etective P.ikachu / P.okemon?!?! All the plots Thorn.

Someone else I love seeing them interact with

I honestly don’t read a lot of threads n stuff outside of what I’m doing. Sometimes things will catch my eye but otherwise... heh... I do be seein u with ofwondersandhares a lot tho. So there’s that?

Anything else I want to say about their roleplaying

I really don’t get why people don’t write with you more. There’s a lot of opportunity right there for people. :/

And did I mention content?! You know so much about your muses. I aspire to be that in tune with these guys one day

If We Know Each Other

What I Think Are Their Best Qualities

Honesty. I mean sometimes it can be pretty blunt but I don’t really have to be guessing what you might not be saying. I figure if you have a problem with me you’ll tell me. Which is kinda relieving to me. Helps when I overthink.

Also ridiculously imaginative. I mean do I really need to elaborate on this one?

What I Think Are Their Strengths

Besides the answer to the above question, you don’t take things to heart too much, which I admire since I do that all the time. It’s great you can brush things off and move on to other good things without getting too caught up in being upset

A Memorable OOC Interaction Of Ours

First game night. Absolutely one of the best nights I’ve ever had. Hilarious. Can’t wait to do it again. The fact that we named the killer Asher was AMAZING

Why Others Should RP With Them

Hello if it’s not clear from what I’ve been saying then idk how to help you. The sheer vastness of content for all the rp you could ever want is right there man. So much opportunity! All the little details and plots too!! Bonus, you get a friend that will give you head pats- no, wait. those are mine. But still, good fren! *pats their head* A lot of friENDSHIP can fit in here

How Others Should Approach Them

You could toss them some memes. Pretty sure they crave them lol ( Not like they don’t post about it ). And as a multi I am well aware of the specifying muse deal but I don’t think they mind so much that they won’t answer. You’ll just get whatever they roll lol BUT definitely specify muse if you can bc like I said, as a multi, it’s just better that way especially with the number of muses they have. OR you could do the big brain move and IM them “Hey I wanna write with you but I have no idea where to start with your muses. Do you have a preference?” and you guys can talk about who would mesh well together and then you can send memes or write a starter or even get a starter! Pretty sure it’s the same for anyone.

Funny note on that one tho. I think they approached me ooc by just sending my a post in IMs. I don’t even remember what it was or why they sent it. I was wildly confused but ya know. Gotta start somewhere lol Point is, you’ll be fine approaching them however you do. Just don’t ghost.

Other Roleplayers I’d Recommend To Them

You could write with the Teares’ siblings ( in the verse where they are related at least. Haven’t talked about if that’ll be a main thing or not ), baby sis @the-wonderland-jinx and Aeron’s twin @faultycode. The other muses on there are also great.

@klavz is a great Klaus imo. The dialogue is so on point. Like I could actually hear Klaus saying those things. Whether you feel the same is up to you but... definitely give ‘em a chance.

There are others but it’s more of a general ‘I like them’ rather than having specific reasons you’d mesh well with / be interested in them.

Anything else I want to say about them

I think I’ve said quite a lot already lol Anything more is pretty much a repeat

I like writing with them. I like talking to them. I think they’re pretty cool and I think other people ought to check them out. A summary by me

If We Have/Plan To Interact Together

A plot I’d like to write with them

Ooo. Um. I know a lot of plots probably got lost bc I’ll come up with an idea and then get distracted with something else. But if I remember any of those definitely lol Also now that I’m on a fresh new blog I will heckin put that shit in a post so I don’t lose it.

That thing where Aeron drops into Wonderland and runs into Soulless!Asher is still in my drafts if you still want that to be a thing. So not all things were lost! lol

But getting back to the question, outside of those sort of things, and being more specific than just everything... T.he G.ood P.lace plot seems good. Pretending these people got into ‘heaven’ when they’re actually in a special hell that tortures them psychologically by picking a set of people that would eternally torture each other bc their personalities and behaviors clash perfectly. Asher ( or all your deadly sin demons really ) would definitely get a kick out of that I bet. Especially on Aeron. Ooo and Oliver.

A muse I want to introduce to them

Max. He’s a muse that’s gonna be on my other multi. He’s a soft boi like Oliver but not as fragile. Very friendly, and actually not human! He’s a changeling that ended up being raised human. Still working on him but I feel like he is basically the peak of my creativity lmao

A ship/broship I’d like to propose to them

I mean I know we mentioned it but Post!Oliver and Tancred would be cool. And I say Post! bc I’m pretty sure Tancred would stay the heck away from him otherwise lol

Also! Lorelei should meet Killian sometime. I’ve never really figured out her and Oliver’s relationship soo... It’s bound to be interesting whatever I do on the fly lol

A thread with them I’m excited about

Every time I see you in my notifications I get excited. But I suppose I am pretty excited for that band ask to turn into a thread 👀

Anything else I want to say

At this point, you might as well follow them if you follow me. Spice up your dash with whatever they’re into for the moment. Find new interests. Learn how to develop your muse

Please read that with the same energy as ‘fuck around and find out’

#long post tw #( look at all this love!! so much effort was put into this )#☆ 》 answered #thornstocutyouwith #☆ out of compassion 》 ooc ☆

3 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

Text

Survey #293

“your head upon a stick would look really sick, but they would call me crazy for the way i spoke to it”

Hey bitch, what's your fucking name? What a start, jc lmao. Brittany. What color are your nails? They're not painted. Last time you got some ass? Well this survey's gonna be a journey. Many years ago. Do your parents like your style/music choices? Yeah, at least most of it. Some music my mom really doesn't like or just hates, while I can't even imagine Dad's reaction to some bands I enjoy. Ever seen your parents make out? tbh would rather slam my ankle on a Razor scooter. What's your dream height and weight? Forget about my height, if I could just be at least 120 again... Do you put your hair up a lot or down? It's too short to put up. Most of the time do you straighten or curl your hair? Neither. What do you do when your house loses power? Light a bunch of candles and carry flashlights. What piercing do you hate? I'm not a fan of cheek piercings. Were you raised in a religious house? Yes. I grew up going to Sunday school and church, even though I hated both. Do your parents get mad when you're on the computer for hours? Gah... it was a very, very big source of argumentative fuel between Mom and me all the way up to my late teenage years when she just gave up; now, it's to be expected and is completely "normal." I always wanted to be on the computer once I was introduced to it; she tried to limit my time on it, and it was without fail what she would take away whenever I was grounded. I'd even sneak onto it when I wasn't allowed to if she wasn't home and Dad was in their room. My mom really did try to keep me from being hooked on technology, she really did, it just didn't work, but dear god I wish it did. I just about turn into a caveman without some form of it, and it's pretty pathetic. Dad meanwhile has never really cared much, but he'd make a comment here and there that would make me self-conscious about it. Have you ever been asked for a nude picture? No, and guess who would be ignored for the rest of their lives if they did. It's so fucking disrespectful and objectifying to me. If someone wants to send a partner something like that by their own volition, that's cool, but asking, that just seems incredibly rude to me and turns the person into an object of lust. Ever been so scared you pissed? Caaan't say I have. Can you watch scary movies at night and not be scared? Yeah, they've never really fazed me. Last reason you got your cell taken away? I actually don't know if that's ever happened, given the aforementioned computer thing. I was never hooked on my phone. Could you handle working on a farm? Nooooo, that is way too much physical exertion. Have you ever been attacked by an animal? No. Have you ever had to put an animal to sleep? ugh Do you have a favorite type of firework? Well, visually I really just like the big colorful ones, but I don't endorse the use of fireworks anymore. Some animals literally die from fear, they can be seriously upsetting to veterans with PTSD (you could have one in your neighborhood and never know you indirectly gave them a panic attack), and they're a large source of litter. Where would/did you get your first tattoo? My right wrist. What's your favorite kind of pet? Snakes. Favorite dinosaur? Spinosaurus is obviously the coolest. It's always been my fave. How many pets do you have? Sigh, just two. Our landlord doesn't want us to get anymore pets than what we came in with. What were two of your favorite Disney movies as child? The Lion King and Finding Nemo. They're still my favorite Disney movies. When carving pumpkins, how do you decide what you're going to do? I haven't carved a pumpkin in years... so idk. Do you own any art supplies? Some, yeah. Do you believe you have a higher IQ than most? Definitely not. What is the name of the doctor that delivered you? I have no clue. Mom knows him for sure because she's mentioned him from my childhood, but I don't. Have you ever seen a Lamborghini in person? Hunny, I live in rural North Carolina. You don't see that level of bougie here lmao. Shane Dawson: funny or annoying? I honestly think he's fucking hilarious. I just have such conflicting feelings about him after "the drama," hearing so many people's opinions (particularly from those who know him so well, like his fiance and Ryland's sister), fact checking, audio cutting and mixing, the whole "people change" philosophy... I don't know. When you have a container of Neapolitan ice cream, what flavor do you leave for last? I ain't touchin' strawberry. Gross. If you could choose to have any superpower ever, what would you pick? I'd wanna be a shapeshifter/druid. What would you be more embarrassed to buy: sex toys or adult diapers? Yikes, sex toys. Given my age, I'd say if I bought adult diapers, people would assume they weren't for me. I'm awkward enough with all things relating to sex to begin with, so. What’s the biggest animal you’ve ever killed? Yo wtf I never have and never will (intentionally) kill an animal. Well, correction: I've killed bugs before, the biggest probably being some spider or something, but I really try to avoid this now. Could you win the Hunger Games? lol hell to the fuck no, have you seen me??? For you, would getting amnesia be a good thing? ... Maybe? Not saying I wanna find out, though. Have you ever been punched in the face? No, plan on keeping it that way. Is morality universal or relative? I question this myself. Who is your favorite late night talk show host? I don't have one. Where do you put your keys when you get home? They stay in my purse. Do you prefer hot coffee or iced coffee? Neither. The sheer variety of questions relating to coffee and tea in surveys boggles my mind, always feel left out that I can't answer 'em lmao. What’s your phone background picture? My lock screen is this pretty, soft aesthetic screen that has "i am strong, i am loved, i am enough" written in the center. I've really needed it for my mental health lately. My home screen is some meerkats. I know, can you believe neither are currently Mark? Have you ever seen a snake in the wild? Plenty. How do you cope with anxiety? Deep breathing, mindfulness and grounding exercises, confiding in my mom, listening to music (usually my favorite calm, instrumental soundtracks, like from the Silent Hill franchise - particularly the second game! - or Shadow of the Colossus), try to nap, play a game as a distraction, watch my favorite YouTubers (typically something funny)... I'm lucky to have learned a lot. Now, if only I could cope with social anxiety... What was the last takeout food you ate? Oh Jesus, how embarrassing is this timing, seeing as it was one of my unhealthiest fast food orders: Son of the Baconator and Baconator fries from Wendy's. It was so fuckin good tho. Who makes you laugh the most? My friend Girt. What does a successful relationship look like to you? One with great communication and total honesty, and when you are able to build each other up and bring out the best in your partner. It's also imperative for you to feel safe being your authetic safe for me to consider it "successful." What do you like to put on your baked potato? "Salt, pepper, butter, cheese, bacon bits." <<<< That's how we do it, lads. What was the most memorable birthday you’ve had? My 16th, but not for good reasons. Would you rather go to the beach or the mountains? That's easy as hell, mountains. I don't like the beach. Do you look in the mirror before you leave the house? Yeah. Not gonna like what I see no matter what, but I'd like to make sure I don't look worse whan what's normal. Have you ever seen someone quit their job in a dramatic way? No. What do you like to dip your fries in? It varies between ketchup and honey mustard. What’s your favorite kind of museum? Science. Do you believe in alternate universes? Nah, I don't think so. Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's. What games do you play on your smart phone? Mostly just Pokemon GO nowadays. I haven't touched Dragons of Atlantis in a long time... Do you know anyone who is colorblind? Jason's older brother is red/green colorblind, I think? Are you the youngest, middle or eldest child in your family? Middle. What’s something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off? Ugh, I need to finish decorating my damn room... Got most of the stuff on the walls now, but it's still pretty skeletal in self expression. My motivation is abysmal. Have you ever flown a kite? Oh yeah, I loved to fly a kite with Dad as a little kid when the tobacco field just across the road was barren. Who was the last person you talked about sex/relationships with? My doctor. How many brothers does your father have? I'm almost certain he doesn't have one, just one sister. Do you think you act older or younger than your actual age? It depends on the situation. When it comes to "adulting," I don't have a fuckin clue what I'm doing. I doubt anyone would believe I'm a month shy of 25. In terms of general maturity, I think I act my age, if not older. When was the last time you swam in a pool? It's been years. What are your parents' views on your relationships? Mom is always very supportive so long as they treat me right; she's taken to all my previous partners very well and treated them like family, too. My dad is also supportive as long as I'm treated properly and happy. Is your best friend dating anyone? No. Have you ever babysat before? Twice, but not really willingly. Way too stressful. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? It took a very, very long time, but all pictures with Jason are forever deleted. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? Not a huge crush, no. Ever watched porn? No. You do you, but I don't see the appeal of watching some random people fuck. Ever performed in a talent show? No. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? Nope. How many celebrity crushes have you had? I'd say Jesse McCartney, Link Neal, and Mark Fischbach are my only BIG celeb crushes I've had. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? I dunno, don't feel like reaching back and counting. Ever been compared to a celebrity? Not visually, but with my adoration of animals. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? Oh, I'm sure. None that are horribly embarrassing though, or else I would have deleted them. Ever seen a therapist? I've regularly seen a therapist since the 6th grade. Ever purposely ignored a text? Yep. A Facebook message? Sure have, when I was beyond done arguing with a former friend. A friend request? No, I just decline or accept it. My page is private, so you can't see my activity, and it's not like they get notified if it's declined, Would you say you read into things too much? I am the fucking sovereign of this. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? I love my mom to death, but no. I'd be disappointed. Ever had a credit card denied? I've never had one in the first place. Ever had the lead in a play? No. I do remember though in elementary school, I was real bummed that I wasn't Snow White for one we did for Music class. What about a solo in a concert? Never been in a concert. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? Well. One, she's long past menopause. Two, because of ovarian cancer, she had all those organs removed. So, that would be impossible. Have you ever had a threesome? No; I'm personally strictly monogamous and would feel it to be disloyal, even if my parnter was okay with it. What's the last game you used dice for? Not a clue. Are you interested in surfing at all? Have you ever been? No. What brand of bottled water do you prefer? Essentia. What is your favorite type of bird? Barn owls. What is your favorite chocolate candy? motherfuckin REESE'S Have you ever been called a racial slur? No, considering I'm Caucasian. Why did you last stand in line? I was at the doctor's office, I think? What is your favorite pirate movie? /shrug What is your favorite character from Orange Is the New Black? I've never watched it. What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen? Watching the ending to Paranormal Entity was VERY uncomfortable. It was a decently scary movie, but the ending was seriously intense. When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t? I don't recall. Which celebrity or band has the worst fan base? I don't know. What are you interested in that most people aren’t? The sheer degree of my love for meerkats would definitely be missed by probably most people. What smartphone feature would you actually be excited for a company to implement? I dunno. Anything I could think of, the most current products probably already have and I'm just uninformed of them. Like, I use a Tracfone lmao. What’s something people don’t worry about but really should? Their plastic usage and disposal. I'm certainly no saint when it comes to plastic either, but I try to do all I can. What movie quotes do you use on a regular basis? Hm, ARE there any? Do you think that children born today will have better or worse lives than their parents? This depends on what you consider "better" and "worse." Environmentally, I honestly don't think mankind can maintain itself for that many more generations at the rate we're currently at, so that's probably just gonna keep getting worse. On the other hand, advances in medicine and things like that will certainly continue to improve quality of life in that sense. Human rights are getting better and better. I do fear that we're becoming too comfortable with laziness and convenience, but I hope that's a decline we don't continue to venture down. What’s the funniest actual name you’ve heard of someone having? I had a college classmate named Apple. Which charity or charitable cause is most deserving of money? Oh, come on now. It's not a competition. What game have you spent the most hours playing? So. When you type /played in World of Warcraft, it will show you your total playtime, and mine is YIKES. Like, around a year's worth of time of pure playing since 2014, I think. What’s the most comfortable bed or chair you’ve ever been in? I don't recall. What’s the hardest you’ve ever worked? When I did WiiFit religiously and lost around 40 pounds in HS. I was in the best shape of my life. What movie, picture, or video always makes you laugh no matter how often you watch it? Oh, there's certainly something. Probably some Unus Annus clip. That channel was a fucking blessing and a curse all the same. If you could have an all-expenses paid trip to see any famous world monument, which monument would you choose? Oh boy, I'd have to think, but probably somewhere in Rome or Greece. What’s the coldest you’ve ever been? I'm unsure. Probably jumping in the pool as a kid. My sisters and I would nag Dad to put the pool up on like the very first day of spring, so of course it was cold, but as a kid, I didn't mind that. What’s the most ridiculous thing you have bought? Hm. What’s the most depressing meal you’ve eaten? Ha ha yiiiikes, struggle foods... I don't know, but I've had some. What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? Herping, though I change my mind on-and-off about it. I'm not very into the idea of disturbing wildlife just because they're cool and you wanna check them out. I'd totally go exploring with a camera, though, and not actually pick anything up. If you were given five million dollars to open a small museum, what kind of museum would you create? Hm... I actually think something like an art museum for the mentally ill would be pretty interesting and educational? Even something that could build empathy. Maybe mix some psychology in there to understand conditions.

#survey #surveys #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''apex predator'' by otep

2 notes · View notes

angel-deux-writes · 5 years ago

Text

50 questions

I was tagged by @agirlnamedkeith :)

What is the colour of your hairbrush? Orange

Name a food you never eat: Mushrooms. I just hate ‘em. Also don’t like seafood!

Are you typically too warm or too cold? Probably too cold, but that’s because being too warm bothers me more. So I’d rather keep my heat set at like 62 than risk being too warm. It’s much better for my eczema.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? I think probably putting another load of laundry in? I’m trying to tidy up because my sister might be coming to work from home here later, and I have been living in a mild mess for weeks lmao.

What’s your favourite candy bar? Reese’s. Does that count as a bar? Let’s say yes. The eggs in particular!

Have you ever been to a professional sports game? I used to go see the Red Sox sometimes as a kid, once in Tampa Bay while we were on vacation. I went to see FC Barcelona play while visiting a friend (real talk: I probably would not have gotten on that plane if not for the fact that I really, really loved FC Barcelona at the time lmao. it was great to see my friend again, but I was terrified of going on vacation alone in a country I’d never been to! I didn’t even speak spanish at all before that trip! When I hyperfixate I will do ANYTHING lmao). I’ve also been to DC to see Barcelona play (terrifying. tiny planes. would not recommend. It ruled, though, and I got to take my brothers, which was nice). And several times to see Brazil’s national team play at Gilette, which was much easier, because it was like 20 minutes away from my house.

What was the last thing you said out loud? some variation of “oh for fuck’s sake” because I thought the dudes doing my neighbor’s basement renovation had stopped drilling, and then they picked back up.

What is your favourite ice cream? cookie dough of some kind? though I’m also a big fan of anything black raspberry.

What was the last thing you had to drink? coffee!

Do you like your wallet? I do! It was a gift from my mother, like, five birthdays ago? So I probably need a new one, but it’s cute.

What was the last thing you ate? .......i had a fruit roll-up. I’m turning 31 in a few days, and the last thing I ate was a fruit roll-up.

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? I can’t remember if it was this weekend or last weekend but I DID order a shirt from Redbubble that says “anders was right” lmao

What’s the last sporting event you watched? it was probably a Red Sox game? I used to watch them with my dad back when I could, you know, hang out with him without fear of passing a deadly disease to him and my mom!

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? butter, tho that caramel corn I always get at Christmas is nice too.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? My sister to tell her that the dudes next door are STILL DRILLING and that she might want to rethink coming over.

Ever go camping? Nope! Hate even just the idea of it. My dad goes camping with his childhood friends every year, and every time they describe it, it makes me want to die.

Do you take vitamins? Nope! I used to, but then i ran out, and I haven’t bought any since then. I used to take fish oil pills because my dermatologist thought it might help with my eczema, but it didn’t.

Do you go to church every Sunday? Church? what’s that?

Do you have a tan? Never in my life. I am very pale, and turn red very easily. I’m slightly red right now because I spent maybe an hour hanging out on my parent’s deck over the weekend lmao. Also I’ve been going on a lot of walks lately, so I’ve got a lot more freckles on my face than I used to!

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? Chinese food. Shouldn’t eat it, because I am allergic to soy, but I accept the stomach aches that come with it.

Do you drink your soda through a straw? Not anymore. I did when I had invisalign, though. I wasn’t supposed to drink ANY sort of soda or coffee with the invisalign in, so I was like “well, what if I use a straw”, and I never got yelled at by the orthodontist, so it must have worked.

What colour socks do you usually wear? I almost exclusively wear socks from Sock it To Me, so they’re all sorts of patterns. I also have a lot of Star Wars socks, because one of my Christmas gifts for the past few years has been a sock advent calendar!

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? I’m from Massachusetts, so...... yes.

What terrifies you? Everything? I’m gonna go with lava. I really hate lava.

Look to your left. What do you see? My phone.

What chore do you hate most? Washing dishes. It’s gross, first of all, and the eczema constantly on my fingers means that the extra hand-washing is literally painful.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? lately? @slipsthrufingers lmao

What’s your favourite soda? Probably cherry coke?

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? Drive-thru whenever possible.

What’s your favourite number? 15

Who’s the last person you talked to? My sister and her boyfriend as I was leaving their house, probably?

Favourite cut of beef? idk man, I just eat whatever is put in front of me.

Last song you listened to? Something from my Outrun playlist.

Last book you read? GENUINELY cannot remember. Reading has not been fundamental these past few months. I started Michelle Visage’s book, let’s go with that.

Favourite day of the week? Friday, probably

Can you say the alphabet backwards? Probably if I think enough about it!

How do you like your coffee? with creamer in it!

Favourite pair of shoes? A pair of converse with rainbow bottoms, I think. I also have a pair of gray boots from American Eagle that I love.

Time you normally get up? I used to get up at 4:40, but lately it’s been 7, because I don’t have to commute anymore lmao.

Sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets!

How many blankets are on your bed? Currently none, because i’m washing my sheets. Usually 3-4

Describe your kitchen plates. Some of them have apples on them, some of them are plain with a green border, and some of them are easter plates with rabbits!

Describe your kitchen at the moment. Teal, small, and messy!

Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? I love a mojito. Also just...whiskey? of any kind?

Do you play cards? I prefer not to!

What colour is your car? Teal-ish blue!

Do you know how to change a tire? I certainly do not

Your favourite state? probably Massachusetts? I haven’t ever lived anywhere else lmao

Favourite job you’ve had? One summer I worked for my dad’s friend putting stickers on envelops and folding them and counting them and putting them in bigger envelopes, and I fucking loved it. Just mindness nonsense. I guess this job is good too, because I actually get paid and have benefits, but editing tech reports is VERY boring.

How did you get your biggest scar? I had one on my knee for a while that finally went away a few years ago, but it was from falling off a jungle gym at school! There was a gap that was slightly too big for my elementary school body, and I fell probably like 6 feet and landed hard on the pebbles that were scattered beneath it! A few of them were embedded pretty deeply in my skin, and there was this gross flap that was hanging open. They ended up replacing the rocks with sand because of me lmao. But now I guess it’s probably just my biopsy scar from back when they were trying to figure out if my weird rash was eczema or something worse! It’s never really healed right!

I’m not sure who else has been tagged so i’m gonna hit @slipsthrufingers since I already tagged her in this for the accent question lmao

12 notes · View notes

chaoticfruitcake · 4 years ago

Text

70 Horrible Questions

I didn’t write the questions but I’m bored so here I’m answering all of them. Now you guys will know me more intimately than my search history does :)

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? - Yeah I do, my parents are really wonderful and supportive. I’m lucky to have ‘em :)

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? - My sister :D

03: Do you regret anything? - I wish I hadn’t come out so soon. I had to, because somehow it got out and random people in my grade knew so :/

04: Are you insecure? - Yes, with a lot of things. But a big part of that comes from social anxiety ;-;

05: What is your relationship status? - lmfao i’m single. the gays are in hiding (at least from me)

06: How do you want to die? - Painlessly, preferably a quick-acting poison slipped in my wine glass by a scorned ex-lover, or something along those lines

07: What did you last eat? - A Snickers bar

08: Played any sports? - I was on the basketball team in sixth grade but I broke my arm right after the season started so I only played in 3 games.

09: Do you bite your nails? - I haven’t in 10 days, actually! It started when I was 5 because I was (still am) terribly anxious

10: When was your last physical fight? - Probably like a few months ago with my sister.

11: Do you like someone? - I have had the misfortune of being crush-less since I broke up with my ex, in January.

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? - Yes. More than once, usually around exam season :)

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? - I don’t generally hate people, except for that guy who called me a faggot and dyke and other horrible things in ninth grade, and his buddies.

14: Do you miss someone? - I miss all my friends. Lockdown sucks.

15: Have any pets? - A shih tzu - pomeranian mix pup! his name is Pepper (Pepperoni for short)

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? - Tired and quite hungry. Tad bit numb.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? - Technically yes, once and very briefly. Strange experience.

18: Are you scared of spiders? - Not afraid, but I certainly am not a fan

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? - Perhaps, I’d like to be a sapphic flapper in ‘20s New York

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? - The aforementioned bathroom.

21: What are your plans for this weekend? - Work, and hopefully read a bit.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many? - I don’t know, but if I do I’d like to adopt. And only one.

23: Do you have piercings? How many? - Both my ears are double-pierced, so 4. I’d like 3 more tho, one more on each ear, and a helix.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? - I love Biology, and Global Politics. I’m great at English too, but I’m not as interested in it.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past? - My grandfather, he passed away when I was six.

26: What are you craving right now? - A large double-cheese pepperoni pizza with a tumbler of ice-cold Coke Zero.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? - Not that I know of, except for that boy in seventh grade who was terrible at hiding his crush on the closeted queer girl.

28: Have you ever been cheated on? - Nope.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? - If I did she never told me.

30: What’s irritating you right now? - The fact that I cannot see my friends for months and my senior year might end without me even setting foot in school.

31: Does somebody love you? - Romantically? lmfao no. Platonically? My lovely friends do, a lot <3.

32: What is your favourite color? - I have 2: lavender and light teal

33: Do you have trust issues? - Yes. For (mostly) valid reasons. I don’t like feelings and trust usually entails feelings.

34: Who/what was your last dream about? - One was me and my friends hanging out in the foyer at school during a free period. There’s a flash of me pinning a girl against a wall and making out with her but I don’t remember that one very well.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? - My mom, I had a terrible panic attack. I only cry when I get panic attacks.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? - I don’t think so, I haven’t really had to though.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? - Forget probably, I move on from things pretty fast. I have too much anxiety to really be mad at people for long though.

38: Is this year the best year of your life? - The pandemic is obviously terrible, and I’ve had quite a few horrid experiences, but overall it’s been pretty good. I wouldn’t say it’s better or worse than any year before. And I’m hoping it keeps getting better.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? - Technically 15, in that bathroom. But I don’t really count that one. So I haven’t had my first kiss yet.

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? - Absolutely not. No thank you.

51: Favourite food? - Pepperoni pizza and Dum Ghosht mutton biryani.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? - I don’t think so really, that there’s a plan for everything. I think things usually work out, but not because of fate but because people work to fix things.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? - I was listening to my sapphic playlist; the last song was Housewife Spliffin’ by Ängie

54: Is cheating ever okay? - Maybe in very specific circumstances. Like a comatose spouse, I guess.

55: Are you mean? - Only to a very special few. Though apparently I give off intimidating vibes to people who don’t know me.

56: How many people have you fist fought? - I guess 2: my sister, and this one girl in middle school.

57: Do you believe in true love? - I like to think that it’s real.

58: Favourite weather? - Thunderstorms! I love thunderstorms so much

59: Do you like the snow? - I live in the part of India where it never snows so I’ve only seen snow a few times. But it was very nice :)

60: Do you wanna get married? - Yes, I think so.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? - Um, yeah in *certain* situations (ahem). Though I prefer babe.

62: What makes you happy? - A lot of things. Running this blog, my dog, my friends, pizza, chocolate milkshakes, oversized sweaters, pretty girls and forehead kisses. A lot more too.

63: Would you change your name? - Not unless I needed to mask my identity.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? - She’s a really good friend of mine so it would be a bit awkward, heh.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? - burst into laughter, i’m sorry but he’s like a brother to me and i’m too gay for him.

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? - Yeah, and I love him so much <3

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? - That best friend

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? - One of my other best friends, she’s helped me through so much <3

69: Do you believe in soulmates? - Not exactly. I think it is possible to feel a bond with someone so strong that it’s like you were meant to be together, but it doesn’t make sense to me that there’s only person for each of us. I think that if soulmates are real, we get more than one.

70: Is there anyone you would die for? - My dog, my best friends, my sister and my parents.

#now you know too much #about me #was this a mistake #i dont care #q and a

2 notes · View notes

hoy-smolfry · 4 years ago

Text

i finally started playing breath of the wild and. i have conflicting feelings about it.

I like it as a game. I hate it as a Zelda game. There is nothing in the game that feels like a Zelda game, aside from the plot and characters. Really long rant ahead.

The divine beast Vah Ruta was a fucking chore. I hated it. I literally had to find a guide, which i’ve NEVER had to do in any dungeon for any other zelda game. The shrines are really bland once you’re used to the aesthetic that literally all of em have. I hate having to get to the towers in order to have the map. I don’t like the fact that the big korok guy moves to a more inconvenient locations twice. I hate so much about the game... but only in terms of Zelda games. It doesn’t capture the feel of a zelda game. It’s an AWFUL zelda game despite being a great game. All the things i usually love about zelda games are either absent (dungeons, a variety of unique weapons obtained over the course of the game, etc) or made worse. The 900 fucking korok seeds?! No. Nobody liked getting all the Gold Skulltulas in Ocarina of Time, so why would anyone want to get NINE TIMES AS MANY COLLECTABLES. The compendium is a goddamn chore and the camera feature doesnt even save the photos to your system, so WHAT IS EVEN THE GODDAMN POINT OF IT. I have like three or four photos i want to save but NOPE. I can only take a screenshot of the album, which has a fucking filter over the images. The quests are obnoxious. The traveling takes forever, and the horses are such a pain to train that i rarely even bother with them.

Literally i hate that this is probalby gonna be the norm for future zelda games. The cutscenes are probably my least fave thing abt it. Zelda’s voice actress makes the emotionally intense lines sound way too over the top and fake. The accents are inconsistant from character to character (Sidon sounds american and Mipha sounds british even tho they were siblings and lived in the same area for both their childhoods). I am literally so pissed about this game because it’s so good... but its my least fave zelda game. I’m not including the games not made by nintendo, or the spin-offs.

Meanwhile i love the exploration, even if it’s a bit annoying sometimes. The stamina kinda bothers me, but its at least interesting. I like the runes, although they aren’t a good replacement for the variety of unique items most zelda games give you. I like the visuals. I like the dogs, but YOU CAN’T PET THEM SO WHAT IS EVEN THE FUCKING POINT. YOU COULD PET DOGS IN TWILIGHT PRINCESS SO UM. FUCKING DOWNGRADED. This is the worst zelda game, but only because it’s supposed to be a Zelda game. Which it DOESN’T FEEL LIKE ONE.

The villain isn’t a character in this game, which is a huge complaint of mine. The overworld always feels either super empty or way too cluttered and theres rarely an in-between. Scrolling across the map takes for-fucking-ever, even when fully zoomed out. Ugh i have more complaints about it than positive things to say because i fucking hate that this is the direction Zelda games are going in. FUCK this zelda game. I’m gonna keep playing it, but it feels like a goddamn chore so idk if i’ll ever actually finish. Because its fucking annoying to play half the time.

Literally its just a third-person perspective Skyrim with zelda lore and less glitches. And i hate it for that.

That said, i wish i could enjoy the game as much as other ppl do. I wish i could let go of my grievances, but i can’t. I love Sidon as a character, and I definitely love seeing art and stuff of him and Link as a couple, but i. I dunno, it doesn’t feel like a zelda game.

#botw is a bad zelda game #but its a good game #it just. isn't a good zelda game.#rant #botw rant #my post #my rant

5 notes · View notes

bionicdragonguardian1 · 5 years ago

Text

Ranma 2/4

Part Two: Chapter 13 - 25

Unless someone comes up with a better name I’m sticking with this one

HOW tf is the principal crazier than before?!

Yup, spreading out the Kuno-Principal thing

Is Sasuke seriously an anime-only?!?

Like I said Ryoga needs to chill a little first

Main reason I don’t like Ukyo That scene where she blatantly states she’s fine with turning Ranma into something he’s not rather than helping him

(Ignoring the near constant amount of undermining his abilities)

“I’m gonna cheer him up” as she holds a sword! Why?!

Ranma you dummy, hug Akane!

I hate this demon/ghost cat

Shampoo, you manipulative bitch

Akane learns to swim like a normal person

The lifeguard in me can’t do it

The principal is background shenanigans

Totally forgot about the kid who wants to play video games and is “weak” bc of it

Definitely need to find a different reason tho

Lazy little shits are a pain

Also his mom is crap

Akane… why you be dumb?

Weird Happosai is Santa plot…

What is with the Excalibur meets lucky 1000 meets fairy godmother?

Good news is, with what I’ve done to Kuno’s understanding of Ranma’s curse Ranma knows Kuno wouldn’t give him that wish and calls it quits sooner

Someone just needs to explain Ranma’s really confusing sense of morality to me

Cuz it’s either on 110% or it’s nonexistent, now normally nonexistent is for Kuno but still

Look Ranma’s got ego problems but he ain’t stupid

No betting the Tendo Dojo at five!

On what planet is that a legal document?!?

Some1 tell me why Shampoo using Ranma as a stop ramp bugs me so bad

That mo when you can’t remember if the Hot Spring Challenge is when Ukyo met Shampoo in the anime…

I don’t think so…

Akane you made me need to google a word

That like never happens Ranma you idiot

So close but so far

So much more logic, thanks

I mean more insanity, but it explains why Ranma swapped clothes

Finally! Ranma apologizes

Jesus Christ someone would think I won the goddamn lotto with how loud I cheered when this happened

600% approve of this over what happened in the anime

Oof poor Ranma

Hahahaha in your face Shampoo, but I also think I know why Ranma chose it

Poor Ryoga

I KNEW this guy was coming I still hate it

YEET you can’t PAY ME to do this arc

Look, is it the fact that I had etiquette and dance classes as a child and everyone assumed this is what it was like? Probably.

It wasn’t so I won’t.

Any1 else notice how Nabiki is one of the few ppl that uses she/her when Ranma is in his cursed form no matter what?

Why does this bug me?

Akane, stop beating Ranma up, honestly

This is closer to abuse rather than teasing

*sighs*

Gotta work that out of the narrative, intentional or not

Every1 sayin she’s violent isn’t helping

Like I said really fucking morally GREY Nabiki

How grey can you go before you get black?

Let’s find out together

Can everyone PLEASE stop treating Ranma like an object?!

I literally can’t tell if Nabiki is fucking Aro or not…

STRESS

Why is this so hard?!

I hate seeing Akane cry

I know she’s playing Ranma like a kazoo, but the point still stands

WHY ARE YOU TWO SO DUMB?!

Nope, nevermind it’s just Ranma that’s a fuckin idiot I blame Genma

No, I’m not kidding

*sighs* I don’t condone Nabiki doing this in any way just for the record THAT’S not an apology Ranma!

This mess is totally your fault Nabiki

STRESS

am I intentionally pointing out where this work of fiction is stressing me out since I’m now online schooling and suffering for it? Yes, fuck off.

Actually, don’t.

But Fuck Covid19

Aww his hat’s back!

Why do I love his hat so much?

No, seriously Akane’s so cute!

Oooww tree

y’know the sec she realized what Ranma was doing Nabiki should’ve TOLD him!

Congrats Ranma ya got the wrong sis- I mean the right- but wrong- dammit y’know what I mean

Some1 give me a logical explanation for why Ranma goes on a date with a panda doodle, PLEASE

I do appreciate the epic battle background fight for the anime

Further proof that Happosai sucks

Manga name’s somehow less believable I think it’s the use of “snowman” rather than “yeti”

Did Soun just find out that Pchan is Ryoga, and say nothing?

Ooo, Imma commit arson

Remember when I said obey Physics and Medical, I meant it

Arson is wrong and I know this but “transgender bitch” crosses the line

I will do it

Shampoo is a fucking yandere psycho

Just sayin “we’ll see who can get him first”

honestly, any other group and I’d be annoyed, but these four can’t work together for shit I

’m still pissed at Taro, but he can kill Happosai, please

I can’t tell if Shampoo, Mousse and Ryoga are being purposefully obtuse or not

I just reread their names I know the answer to at least two of them

Idk how I feel about Kuno-amnesia we’ll see

yep, Kuno gives me the creeps w or w/out his memories

kinda wish this was anime

jesus christ, poor Ranma

press f to pay respects for Ranma’s stomach

InstaRegret

Also Ukyo’s assumption that some1 can make Ranma doing anythin he doesn’t want to is crap

Like HELLO! Wake up moron!

Nabiki, I mean this in the nicest way possible, shut the fuck up

You’re making it worse

Also TALK to each other you ding dongs!

OH RIGHT! I almost forgot about the biggest fucking insult that Ukyo said of her own freewill!

It also proves that she doesn’t know Ranma as a person AT ALL!

It’s not a pick one or the other kind of thing

The fact that she thinks Ranma would accept that is insulting

The fact that she thinks that is insulting and makes me hate the patriarchy

Again, treating him like a prize than a person

*tries not scream, sighs*

Nabiki, you’re the cause of at least 30% of the stress I get from this

You having feelings ain’t the fucking problem here Ukyo, you not acknowledging Ranma’s is

I hate fake criers, anyone who does this I hate you

Always let others in on your plans, kids

When’s every1 gonna realize Ranma’s “wishy-washy” cuz no one’s ever committed to HIM before?

This episode confused me, I’m prepared to be MORE confused

Less confused, I’m surprised

Gonsunkugi, you creep

There is SO much wrong with this

*shudders*

WHAT?!

Y’know I didn’t think Gosunkugi could surprise me, I was wrong

Happosai still sucks unfortunately for all of us he’s now weird on top of it

I love how much Ranma needs to be kicked in the teeth to get any character development out of him

Ryoga is my #1 choice for it, always

Ranma… why are you like this?

Genma, emotional range of a goddamn wall

I am jealous of Ranma’s brain

I could be SO mean with the Shishihokodan

Also, are they implying that Ryoga has depression?

Gimme Ranma’s brain

I won’t ask for his confidence cuz that’s impossible but I want his brain

In Akane’s defense, given what she knows she couldn’t’ve known how badly that would affect Ryoga

I ain’t gonna say “leave Shampoo” cuz that’s cruel

I like the “turn into a Cat” rather than the “Can’t Cross” & the use of New Year’s rather than random but this still brings around the fact that she doesn’t LISTEN to him

Mousse you’re NOT helping in fact you’re actively making it worse did you miss when he said blatantly “I don’t wanna”

oh, sure, NOW you’re ok with it

ugh Mousse, you have a brain, I’ve SEEN you use it. Do so now.

This entire episode weirded me out

IDK if it’s the age-dff or the fact that he was makin it up and somehow everyone thought this was okay …

I won’t YEET it but MASSIVELY change

heheheh

Light bulb

NOPE I’m keeping this surprise to myself

it was a rather sweet end tho

Oh, this episode is a mess and a half, honestly

Also Nabiki, congrats you’ve literally enabled a stalker S

o many laws are broken here

okay, so Kodachi not being in on Ranma’s secret after so long makes sense purely because she doesn’t go to their school

however, with what i’ve done to make Kuno marginally less dumb it makes a little bit less sense…

I literally hate Kuno with what I’ve done to his logic of Ranma’s transformation, but that’s the point Kodachi… how do I handle you… oh, duh!

Ok, so Kodachi is now also terrible

I’m trying to figure out where this is in the plot since there is ZERO

Ok, there’s a LINE, Nabiki

This one would be touching, if it didn’t end the way it does

TALK gentlemen!

It won’t kill you

Fuck a parent that says they’re not your parent for no reason, EVER

I am going to make this hurt

Also gonna take out Genma’s fail at stealth

Remember I said Akane’s going to learn to cook

heheheh

sorry, I just love this idea

Oh this is SO against the rules it’s not even funny

tiny adjustment so they actually have quasi-competent referees

Crazy wants crazy?I won’t stop ‘em

I reiterate: CHEATING!

I am aware that the “ending” apparently sets them back to the start in terms of their relationship but I swear to God if they pretend shit like this didn’t happen I will scream

Someone ships something other than Akane x Ranma PLEASE explain why/how

don’t ship bash but I would insight when you explain

STICK TO CANON

please trust me, I’m a multi/poly/crack shipper

(for frame of reference to a bnha I ship DabiHawks)

I understand the appeal of Fanon

however, I would like to stick to Canon here

so no Fanon

Canon Only

Fully love that high kick

Genma shows Ranma’s secret here, but they already know… so… I shall find out

Ooo, you’re not getting out of this Ranma

Do you know how tempting it is for Akane to at least tell Ranma she’s a girl- oh wait gendered sports… right…

Ranma…

if you didn’t realize it was Akane when she hit you for calling her klutzy I can’t help you

I want to commit arson at some of the comments…

but can confirm that these are HS boys

Doesn’t mean I gotta like it

I was wondering how long I was going to have to wait before tearing into Nodoka

FINALLY

Took me WAY too long to remember that Nodoka calling Ranko tomboyish is due to how he speaks in Japanese

I’ll need to figure that out since… English

Can I explode on Genma’s choice to take Ranma at TWO?!

Can I further explode on both of them for making a TWO YEAR OLD “sign” a Seppuku Pledge?!

I hate both of them, honest

ALSO communication!

Genma! Just fucking TELL HIM!

Making her transphobic is SO tempting

I don’t mean in a “i hate you” way I mean in a “I sheltered my whole life” way

It’s still bad, and painful, but she can easily learn from that

Or be worse, this could go 2 ways

I feel so bad for Akane for this entire conversation

Also poor Ranma like ouch…

Awkward

I’m going to make this hurt something fierce

Slight change since I’m hoping Ranma isn’t as “peak fight or flight” by this point

Genma don’t be an asshole for FIVE MINUTES

Please, that’s all I want

If she doesn’t learn the truth before the end I will make a bad decision

Really, I will

Don’t kill Genma, you can’t

Akane, don’t say like you wouldn’t… honestly

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, honestly, just look the other way Ranma

*sigh*

Ranma…

See, this kind of crap here is why I really don’t like Cologne

any other day Akane’d be right

oof, that means he self aware that girls flock to him

I’m quite frustrated by that if I’m honest

Ranma is clueless about all the wrong things

I love him but God I wanna punch him sometimes

Why is there a swing from the ceiling?!

I had a jolt from the way they set that panel up, thanks

Are you trying to kill me?!

Thank you Cologne, now fuck off

Oh thank God, at least he learned

This is nonanime stuff so I have no clue what’s happening but anything to make Happosai miserable

I’m enjoying this immensely

ugh, “think of it as a compliment” ghost

Eat me

okay, yeah, as much as I want him dead, that’s worse

I’m glad he’s not a one-and-done character

I will forever ONLY call him Taro when it is NonDialogue

Wait Saffron as in big-bad Saffron?

I literally only know pieces of the end so I’m just pulling from what I know

Lol, wait… was that soldier Anime only too?

I almost liked you there for a sec Taro

Now I’m pissed again

bravo

Oh, YIKES

… if Ranma falls into the Spring of Drowned Twins would he split?

I’m not going to DO IT, obviously!

I’m just curious okay…

that answers that… and kills anyone other than Ranma’s plan to turn back to normal I hope everyone is aware of that

oof

Since when is there a castle on an island in Japan

tis just a scratch, I’ll admit that was funny

Ranma… your stomach gets you in so many problems

ok, that was wholesome

I approve

Okay, so my understanding is that Mrs. Tendo got sick, so I can understand the reactions to Kasumi

BUT I still find it odd because… well… anyone in my house gets sick and you mostly can’t even tell I mean, minus a worse attitude and a mask, other than that though, nope we keep ‘er movin’

I’m moving this section sooner EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!

I like her mom’s cookbook tho

I could make a Ranma x Ryoga joke here, but I won’t

I also won’t make a Ranma x Ryoga joke chapter cuz I’m nice like that

Actually I might have no choice

I’m FINE just dying

Help

my multishipper heart is dying here

I love this

InstaRegret for THREE people

If nothing else, I’m impressed

(well three once Ranma’s back to normal)

I need help

Fangirling/Fanboying/Fanpeopling is dangerous folks, remember that

Poor Ryoga

Though I too feel that right now like where do I look because everything coming in at mach 6

I’m changing that one scene tho cuz I can’t justify the aftermath without it

This… is… weird to say the least

I feel like I should just expect anything with Gosunkugi remotely involved to be weird at this point

okay, not as weird as I expected

glad it was short tho

I think I am officially out of anime terf

YAY, new content!

This is why I ask about any ship that isn’t Ranma x Akane

Also, names?

That- that- that can’t...

I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW THAT!

EWWW

gross

WHY?!?!!

also, biology, that’s not how that works!!

You two ARE idiots

Ryoga you die I’ll kill you

Well… that hurt to see so quick…

Ranma, get up!

I officially hate this Herb guy

ok, so if you put HOT water in the ladle do you stay that way forever?

Alright! Way to go Ryoga!

I need to stop shipping Rivals it’s bad for my health

fucking eat it you dick!

Poor Akane

nevermind, Ranma you idiot

awwwww

ok, so that whole no more Anime-content… I was wrong, and I admit that, but still

I’m just thinking of my bff when they realize she’s an adult cuz, yeah, she’s like that too

except like physically an adult unlike tiny-Hinako

oh MY GOD Ukyo you’re driving me up the goddamn wall I swear!

THANK YOU AKANE!

“You’re all Ranma’s fiancées” when only one of them actually is

GIANT SIGH OF ANNOYANCE

Ranma, learn to communicate, PLEASE!

Okay… so is this where they figured it out or are some ppl still in the dark?

TIMELINE!!

Honestly, mood Ranma, mood

This entire plot line confuses me if I’m being totally honest

I mean I live for the Akane focus, but there are so many better ways to do this

#ranma ½ #ranma 1/2 #ranma saotome #ranma #akane tendo #nabiki tendo #kasumi tendo #soun tendo #genma saotome #nodoka saotome #tatewaki kuno #kodachi kuno #full series au #bc I know no restraint #I'm doing this to distract from stress shut up #don't judge me #COVID19 binge watch

7 notes · View notes