#I remember spending so long making this. super proud of all the patterns and stuff

[rabbittush]

My fav clown I drew for a thing years ago, posting now 'cause I'm actually still super proud of this.

(click for better quality :])

[lumosinlove]

Cw: mentions of drugs and mentions of past abuse

Previously On Relic Keel

Remus has started to associate sailing with Sirius Black ever since Sirius told him he watches his boat every morning. He thinks about how tired he is of knowing everything there is to know and wishes to leave the island.

Remus also starts his new job at the Hogwarts History Museum where he meets up with his friend Layla, whose family runs the museum, and whose brother, Lyall, Remus races sailboats against. On his way there, he reflects on the divide between Salazars and Godrics. He remembers Sirius at school, and how he was either celebrated or shunned with seemingly no pattern.

After their first shift at the museum, Layla takes Remus to The Lion for lunch, chastising Remus’ prejudices, and introduces him to Leo. Remus sees Leo’s rainbow bracelet and thinks about how badly he wants a boyfriend. We also learn that Luke is also gay, but that he and Remus have always been just friends.

Logan arrives at The Lion, too, is introduced, and listens in on Remus finding out a new exhibit on madness at the museum—the Lupins are known for going insane, but Remus’ mother mentioned nothing to Remus about this exhibit.

Leo learns that Logan is looking for someone (Finn). Logan reflects on a sleepy feeling that seemed to go away with his escape from the orphanage. Leo offers Logan a job, if he wants, and also tells him about The Voldemort.

The Voldemort is a boat from the eighteenth century that is said to have sank in The Cradle, a U shaped arrangement of islands just off of Hogwarts Southern Coast. Leo’s dad was close to finding it. Leo feels like he should want to find it, too, for his lost father.

Saint and Sirius arrive. Saint and Logan see each other for the first time in almost ten years, since Saint escaped when he was seven. Logan tells him that Finn got him out and Saint finds out that Logan sells Crucio.

Pascal, who owns the Lion with his wife Celeste, is introduced. He’s very close with Saint and Sirius, and he apparently knew Leo’s father before he went missing at sea. Saint learns that Logan is staying with Leo.

James and Remus arrive, looking for Dorcas who Thomas said might be selling Crucio to Luke. They’d like her to stop and are willing to pay. Logan takes advantage of this and, although he doesn’t sell to Luke, cons James out of 200 bucks.

Saint learns that Logan has gotten tangled up with The Carrows, the more dangerous of the two Crucio dealers, the other, safer one being Kasey Winter, in the hopes that they will help him get Finn out. Instead, he’s in their debt for using their Crucio himself.

Logan slips and calls Saint Bash. Saint refuses to help Logan get Finn out.

A/N: I super don’t speak Latin. And neither do my trees.

part v

Dorcas watched as Saint took his book from the floor of the back seat and flipped his sunglasses down.

“How long?” he asked. “And how do I keep getting stuck with this job?”

“Because Sirius is a better surfer than you are,” Dorcas replied. “And you know what, you can take off. Her parents are out of town for the weekend so her dad won’t be coming home or anything.”

Saint paused and raised an eyebrow. “And so I just drove you because…”

“I didn’t feel like walking?”

“Clever gal.”

Dorcas smiled. “I know.”

“Whatever, I need the car anyway.”

“What are you up to? I thought you were working at the Potters.”

“Just Sirius today,” Saint threw his book back into the rear seats. “I’ve got some detective work ahead of me.”

“Does this have anything to do with that little friend of yours that Sirius told me about?”

Saint rolled his eyes. “Of course he told you.”

“You know you two can’t keep secrets from me.”

“Don’t I.”

“See you later, babe,” Dorcas opened her door.

Saint gave her a salut as she headed around towards the dug-out fence.

Marlene had her paints out and her hair up in a bun when she pushed the window up and open for Dorcas.

“Luke’s here,” she said, and rolled her eyes as she turned away.

Dorcas froze in the window frame to see Luke with his feet crossed, laying on Marlene’s bed.

“Okay,” Dorcas said. “Can he leave?”

“Hey,” Luke said. “Cousin privileges.”

“Girlfriend privileges,” Dorcas said, shutting the window behind her. “Plus, can’t you go, like, toss a ball at a net with a stick or something?”

Luke rolled his eyes—not unlike his cousin. “I’m on a rest day. Plus, I’m off the team.”

“And whose fault is that?” Dorcas raised an eyebrow.

“He’s just getting out of the house for a bit,” Marlene said with a pointed look that Dorcas understood as he’s getting away from his mother. 

“Plus,” Marlene continued. “He’s a good cover story.”

“I thought your dad wasn’t here.”

Marlene shook her head. “Came home early. Guess his newest gal pal didn’t like golf. He’s over at the club now.”

“What’s his deal, anyway?” Luke asked. He had reached over to the bedside table and put a bowl of what looked like mango slices onto his stomach. “With you two, I mean.”

“I am his little princess,” Marlene said dryly. “Not to be dated.”

“And a Salazar girl who lives in The Hollow?” Dorcas shook her head. “No deal.”

“Right,” Luke said. “Like that’s never happened before.”

Dorcas snorted and sat on the bed, too, stealing a few pieces of fruit. “Like you’re any better than the rest of them, Deveaux.”

“I am,” Luke said. “I don’t hate Salazars.”

“But you hate Hollows.”

Luke grinned. “I don’t hate them, either. They hate me, and what am I gonna do about their jealousy? That’s their issue.”

“God, you’re an asshole,” Dorcas sighed.

“He’s really not though,” Marlene stepped back as she regarded the painting she was working on. Luke’s face looked back out at them from the canvas. “He just likes to make-believe.”

“Could have fooled me and my friends.”

“He’s a great actor,” Marlene agreed, then stuck her tongue out at Luke. “I just happen to have known him before he learned how.”

“All right, fuck you both,” Luke grumbled, and ate another piece of mango.

“Believe me,” Dorcas said. “We’re not jealous of you.”

Luke raised an eyebrow. “You can’t tell me you wish you didn’t have to sell Felix to make a little more money?”

Dorcas narrowed her eyes. “Like you and your money live such a great life.”

Luke looked away, jaw tight.

“Yeah,” Dorcas said. “I’d take Crucio and the friends I have over that any day.” After a moment of hesitation, she looked down and mumbled. “And by the looks of your little habit, so would you.”

“Fuck you, Meadowes,” Luke snarled. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“All right, all right,” Marlene said, tilting her head as she added color to Luke’s cheeks in her painting. “Cool it, kids. Take a chill pill. Knock it down a notch. Luke, why don’t you go get us some pizza or something? Or maybe pick up from Thomas’. I crave his nachos, holy cow. Also, tell him to come hang out later tonight, if he can.”

Luke held Dorcas’ eyes for a moment, then pushed himself up from the bed. “Pepperoni, you?”

“Pineapple and ham, thanks,” Marlene said, and smiled at Dorcas as she patted his back out the door.

“Hi,” Marlene laughed once the door closed behind him. She walked into Dorcas’ arms. She took Dorcas’ face between her hands and peppered kisses to her mouth. “How are you?”

“Worried about basically all of our friends,” Dorcas laughed. “And that one, I guess, too.”

“Tell me about it,” Marlene sighed, laying down on the bed and eating a slice of mango. Dorcas mirrored her position. “No, seriously, if you want to talk about it, I’m all ears. I mean, I’ve got Luke who, one, needs to get out of his house, and two, needs someone to love, like, God, I wish he had a boyfriend. I just want him to get off this island, go to college, and meet the sweetest human in the world, you know?” Marlene sighed again, eyes far away. “He doesn’t act like he deserves that, but…it’s really his family he didn’t deserve. He’s all torn up about his dad, but his dad’s…a schemer. You know? And his mom, don’t even get me started.”

“Maybe he can still meet someone here,” Dorcas replied, and reached out to brush Marlene’s hair away from her face with a smile. “You never know. We didn’t. How long did we spend on this island without knowing each other existed?”

Marlene’s smile faltered in a way that Dorcas was beginning to recognize. It worried her.

“What?” Dorcas asked softly.

Marlene tilted her head. “Hm?”

“You keep doing that,” Dorcas said, tracing a thumb over one corner of Marlene’s mouth. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Marlene said. “I was just thinking about Luke. I mean, my parents sucks but at least they’re…”

Dorcas raised an eyebrow. “Not in jail?”

“Yeah, I don’t know where I was going with that,” Marlene laughed. She scooted closer, letting Dorcas hitch her thigh over her hip, Dorcas’ thumb rubbing idly over her soft skin. “Now what are you worrying about, lover?”

“Sirius,” Dorcas began. “I don’t know he just…he’s never seemed…happy? Saint. He’s trying so hard to be happy that I know he’s not. And now there’s Logan which I think stirred up a lot of Saint Clair stuff for him. I mean, Jesus, how do we not know what’s up with that place?”

“Gods are good at not paying attention,” Marlene said solemnly.

“Saint never takes that damn cross off,” Dorcas said. “I mean, wouldn’t you want to let it go?”

“Sorry, who’s Logan? He got out? As in escaped? Like Saint did?”

Dorcas nodded. “I haven’t talked to Saint about it yet. Me and Sirius are gonna tag-team later, make him let it out.”

Marlene looked suspicious. “Good luck.”

“We have our ways,” Dorcas laughed. “And Logan…He deals. I know him a little. Not really.”

Marlene nodded, going quiet at the mention of Crucio as she always did.

“I like what it gives me,” Dorcas said gently. “Freedom, Marls. More than any other job here could. At least any job that I could get. And its from Kasey, who makes it safely. Unlike the Carrows. So—”

“You don’t have to explain,” Marlene said, and pushed herself closer. “I know. Really, I know. I’m proud of you. I just wish there wasn’t as much risk.”

“Like the police do anything about it,” Dorcas sighed, running a hand through Marlene’s hair. “They probably like the revenue it brings for the island.”

“Yeah,” Marlene sighed.

“Well,” Dorcas said. “We probably have at least twenty minutes before Deveaux returns with the pizza…”

Marlene smiled and pushed Dorcas’ hat off, leaning over her on the bed. “Oh? Twenty minutes you say?”

~

Saint parked the Jeep between two trees in an overgrow section of a Salazar road.  He knew where The Carrows lived. It was difficult to miss their house. Saint could practically smell the gold and diamonds. He felt like he smell the Crucio, too, the rubber bands and the plastic bags, and the sickly sweet powder.

There was no one outside. The whole grandiosity looked strangely deserted.

Saint reached into the rear again for the latest book he had borrowed from James. Frankenstein. Not one he hadn’t read before, but a good one none the less.

“Don’t know why you want that one,” James had said when he handed it over. They had both been hot from working in the sun—Saint on the lawn, James on his backhand. “I had to write a book report on that in, like, what, ninth grade? Oof.”

“Beluis amicitiam,” Saint had replied.

“How the fuck do you know Latin?” James had said. “You aren’t even at our school.”

“You gave me a book on Latin.”

James nodded. “Right.”

“Well?” Saint had asked. “You’re at school. What’d I say?”

James squinted one eye shut. “Beast…friends?”

Saint had laughed. “Literally, sure.”

Saint opened the book now, rolling the window down in the stuffy car. The AC was broken.

“Monsters like company,” he said aloud into the small space and settled down to wait.

~

Lily didn’t expect to find herself painting an old boat with James Potter on a Saturday afternoon, but painting she was. She dipped the fat brush into the blue paint, trying to wipe her hair out of her face without getting blue in it.

“Still doing okay over there, Lils?”

Lily looked up to see James’ head pop out over the upside-down bow.

“All good,” Lily nodded. “You?”

James smiled. “Yeah. Thanks for helping me out.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Lily said. “Just working on my tan.”

James’ head appeared again, only this time his expression was incredulous. “We both know we both burn.”

Lily laughed. “I guess so.”

The Potter’s had their own, small beach in front of their property, and Lily dug her feet down into the sand, looking at the inviting ocean.

She felt all too awkward after their talk a few nights ago. She had been brash, and almost cruel at some points. James was—good. But she didn’t want to end up like her mother. She didn’t want to stay for someone, like her mother had for her father, and regret it, like she could tell her mother did sometimes.

And if she had wanted someone to come out into the world with her, she couldn’t have picked a worse candidate. James was a Potter, and the Potters were Hogwarts Island’s beating heart. Their money was in every part of this island. Every grain of sand, every brick. Hogwarts Academy, whose headmaster was James’ father.

If Lily loved James, she’d never escape.

And the problem was, she did love James.

“So, I was thinking about doing a movie night or something,” James said from the other side of the boat. “Put a sheet up and a projector. We could lay it all out on the lawn, or by the pool. Get some candy and popcorn and shit, invite everyone.”

Lily cleared her throat. “Yeah, that sounds cool.”

James was at the front now, painting the boat’s nose. “Any suggestions or requests?”

Lily smiled. “Is it too cheesy to do Pirates of The Caribbean?”

James laughed. “Hell no. There’s no better place!”

Lily shrugged. “Then definitely that. Oh, Will Turner.”

James snorted. “Yeah, can’t say no to that.”

Lily smiled at him, and shifted closer to the other side of the bow.

“So, how’s your common-app going?” James asked. “These essays are sort of killing me. I mean, you’re staring out a window. What do you see? What the fuck kind of prompt is that? That’s what’s going to get me into college?”

Lily laughed. “Not to mention asking me why I want to go somewhere. They’re basically forcing me to make something dramatic up.”

“Right. If I’m being, you know, honest, I feel simple, and if I’m embellishing, I feel fake.”

Lily looked up at him. “Exactly. No, that’s—exactly.”

They smiled at each other, paintbrushes poised.

“I don’t know,” James sighed finally. “I’m—I’m sort of worried, Lils.”

“What about Lacrosse?” Lily asked.

James nodded. “That’s what my dad says. And, yeah, I love it, but…sometimes I wonder if it’s more that I love who I’m playing with. Luke, Remus, Thomas.”

Lily nodded, eyes flitting over his face which had gone serious and tense. “Right. No, that makes sense. But J, you’re so smart. And kind.”

James’ smile was small, but his eyes, when he looked at her, were fond. “Not as smart as you. And I can’t get a degree in kindness.”

Lily hummed, thinking. College was a sensitive topic for everyone it seemed. What was supposed to be one of the best parts of their lives was all uncertainty and vagueness. She thought of Marlene, and how she hadn’t told Dorcas about her early-decision acceptance yet. This seemed to be all goodbyes and leave-behinds.

“Sorry,” James cleared his throat. “That was a downer thing to say.”

Lily shook her head. “I’m starting to think college is just a downer thing.”

James smiled, and, even though it was something that had only been gone for a moment, Lily found that she had missed it. James was so bright. “Yeah.”

Lily knew that she was going to say goodbye to James in a year. But for the first time, she wondered how she knew, and when she had decided.

“You’re going to be amazing, Lils,” James said softly. She could tell that they were both thinking of their conversation. He looked down at her with his hazel eyes. “Really, you are.”

Lily meant to say thank you.

Instead, she leaned forward and kissed him. James’ body tensed, and then relaxed. His mouth opened beneath hers and she cupped his cheek, her other palm splayed on his chest. He was warm from the sunlight. He made a soft sound and tilted his head to kiss her again, hand between her shoulders. Then, he pulled back, their foreheads together. There was paint on his chest from Lily’s paintbrush. Blue, right over his heart.

“Lils,” James gasped. He wrapped a gentle hand around her wrist. “Lils, mixed messages, mixed messages…”

He was out of breath. Lily had made him that way. Her own heart was beating out of her chest.

“You’re right,” Lily breathed, and stepped away, drawing a fallen strap of her tank top up her shoulder. “You’re right, God, sorry.”

“No, it’s,” James began. “I mean, that was nice. Really nice.”

Lily sent him a wavering smile over her shoulder. “Yeah. Sorry about—” the paint. Everything.

She watched James out of the corner of her eye as he passed his hand through his hair a few times. This time, he came to stand beside her as they worked quietly.

It only took Lily a few moments to not be able to stand it any more. The feeling of him so close, of wanting him the way she did. He was gentle. He kissed in a way that made her want to melt. He had made her laugh, that night that they spent together, in between those kisses and gentle touches.

“Why did you ask me to do this with you, James?” Lily said. “I mean—aren’t you mad at me?”

James didn’t respond for a moment, but finally turned.

“What, we can’t be friends?” he asked.

“I wasn’t very nice to you the other night,” Lily said, and then groaned. “And—I mean, I feel awful about it but…you understand, don’t you?"

“I’m not here to tie you down, Lily,” James said, eyes firm behind his glasses. “If that’s what you think friends do…I don’t know what to tell you.”

“You’re not my friend,” Lily burst out, and then covered her eyes. “I mean—you are. But you’re…”

“It’s fine, Lils,” James said. When Lily looked up, he was shaking his head and stooping to dip his brush again. “Really, let’s just…let’s paint and tan. I’ll get us some sunscreen.”

“James—”

“You kissed me and then you said we weren’t friends. Forgive me if I’d rather stay where we are than go farther or backwards into those two territories that you seem to not want.”

Lily blinked.

James glanced at her, then away. “I should probably be asking you to leave. But I don’t want to lose you. Not yet. Not now, not if you really think that’s so inevitable.”

Lily stared at him. He was looking resolutely at his work, jaw tight. He looked beautiful, even when he was sad and overwhelmed. Lily was so angry at herself.

She didn’t want to lose him, either.

She timed her paint strokes to his, and they worked beside each other quietly.

~

Saint didn’t find what he expected to find.

Instead of Logan coming up the path, Luke Deveaux passed right by his car and open window.

Luke looked down in passing, probably expecting to see an empty vehicle, and then did a double take when, instead, he found Saint sitting there, Frankenstein in one hand, balanced on the steering wheel, and the other elbow resting out the window.

“Hello, tweedle,” Saint said.

Luke stopped walking. He had a gray t-shirt on with a large, navy Nike swoop on it, and black running shorts. Earbuds dangled around his neck, tangled in the two fine gold chains that hung there and trailing all the way into his pocket, where Saint could see the weight of his phone. He was sweaty, as though he had run here from Godric.

“What?” Luke said.

“Bad move,” Saint replied. “Taking your hit from The Shining twins.”

Luke just stared at him. He pushed his sweaty hair out of his eyes. Saint smiled. He liked Deveaux when he was caught off guard. This had never happened before.

“Well—” Luke began. “You’re here, too.”

“Not like that.”

Luke narrowed his eyes. “You said you didn’t deal.”

“I don’t.”

“So,” Luke’s eyes flit around the Jeep’s exterior. “You just sit in junk cars and read—” Luke looked forward. “Shelley?”

Saint frowned in approval and squinted back towards the house. “You say that almost as if you’ve read it.”

“I have.”

“What, in your ninth grade book report?”

“No, with my—” Luke turned his head away, mouth clamping shut.

“I see,” Saint said after a moment. “A bit of a strange parental bonding choice, but all right.”

“Fuck off,” Luke said. “And what the fuck did you call me?”

That was when Saint spotted Logan. He sat up and unlocked the Jeep doors with a click.

“Get in,” Saint said.

Luke scoffed. “Fuck off.”

“That’s the second time you’ve said that in five seconds. Get in, tweedle, or I’ll tell your mother about your candy addiction.”

To Saint’s slight surprise—he was used to people being drawn to him—that seemed to work and Luke complied, but he walked slowly, distrustfully, around the bonnet before sliding into the passenger seat.

Logan was coming up a different path, one stemming from the back of the house to what looked like a side door.

“She wouldn’t care,” Luke said as he slammed the door.

“You in my passenger seat says differently,” Saint said, and glanced at Luke’s wrist. “Nice watch.”

It was gold and glittery. It looked like it had probably been his father’s, and by no means looked like it should be worn on a run.

“Your car smells like wet dog.”

“I don’t have a dog,” Saint replied, eyes on Logan. He had knocked and was waiting now.

“I was talking about Black.”

Saint glanced at him. “You’re funny, Galileo.”

Luke just shook his head, bringing his t-shirt up to wipe his forehead. “Stop calling me tweedle—you think I’m dumb?”

Saint laughed. “No.”

“All right,” Luke put a hand on the door. “I’m getting out.”

“No,” Saint said, and grabbed Luke’s arm, fingers wrapping around his wrist. “Stay here or you’ll blow this for both of us.”

Luke shook him off and Saint pushed his door open. He began his stride up towards the house without looking back. He wondered if Luke was a snoop. The thought made him smile.

Logan saw him when he was half-way to the door, and rolled his eyes, shoving his hands out in an effort to silently say go back.

“Hello, number ten,” Saint said, leaning beside the door. “Now, who are you waiting for?”

“Saint, don’t.”

“Look, I’m hoping it was me, and if so, your ride’s here.” Saint narrowed his eyes. “Let’s go.”

“What do you care if I’m here?”

Saint looked at Logan’s backpack, the one that was always filled with Crucio. Even at the sight of it he imagined that he could feel the sweet, sleepiness that occupied his nights at the orphanage.

The door opened.

“Oh, look,” Amycus said, resting a hand on the door. “Haven’t seen you in a while. What is it you’re calling yourself these days? Saint.”

“Hello, Amy,” Saint smiled. “Nice to see you, we’re going now.”

“You can’t,” Amycus snarled. “He owes us.”

“I’m sure you haven’t lost that much,” Saint said back evenly.

“Oh yeah?” Amycus laughed. “Why don’t we take a look at green-eyes here’s subconscious. You want something bad enough, you like something enough, something feels good enough, then there comes a point where you don’t even know how far you’ve gone to get it. How much Felix have you taken, do you think, Tremblay?”

Logan just looked down.

“See?” Amycus cocked his head. “He doesn’t know. Which means I make make up whatever number I like.”

Saint nodded, thoughtful. “Interesting. What number is that?”

Amycus just grinned. “Your friend here will know when I tell him.”

“Bullshit,” Logan snapped, and Saint held up a hand.

“We’re going now, and you know what?” Saint leaned in. “You don’t know shit about what he wants.”

“Come back without your handler, Tremblay,” Amycus called after them.

Back at the car, Saint could see Luke reading Frankenstein through the windshield.

“Who’s that?”

“Who you got your two hundred bucks for,” Saint murmured.

“What about the two hundred more you just cost me?”

“You’re welcome,” Saint said, and motioned to Luke to get out.

“And what exactly was I supposed to get out of this?” Luke said, crossing his arms.

“A chit-chat with yours truly,” Saint replied. “Logan, get in the car.”

Logan glared, but took Luke’s place in the passenger seat.

Saint slid back into the driver’s side, took Logan’s backpack from him, and slung it into the back seat.

“Oh,” Saint leaned out his window. “And I’m sure you can go right up now.”

“I’m sure I can,” Luke tossed Saint the book. “Don’t forget Potter’s book. Did you steal it, or what?”

If only he knew, Saint thought. 

“Bye, Luke,” Saint called as he turned out of the grove and down the street. He looked in his review mirror and smiled at the sight of Luke standing, framed in it. Then, he put his arm lazily on the steering wheel and let Luke’s golden watch flash in the sunlight on his wrist.

“You didn’t have to fucking—fetch me,” Logan grumbled.

“Yes, I fucking did.”

Logan turned towards him in his seat, and for a moment Saint thought he was going for his backpack, but Logan just looked at him.

“Look,” Logan said.

“I’m driving.”

Logan ignored him.

“There’s a treasure,” Logan said instead. “Leo told me about it. He thinks his dad knows where it is—The Cradle? Look, I—If we can get it—”

“Oh, good,” Saint sighed. “He sells Crucio and he’s a Voldemort tourist.”

Logan blinked. “You know about it?”

Saint scoffed. “Of course I know about it. Everyone knows about it, Logan.”

“Fine, but—if we can get it, then I can pay off—”

“I’m sorry, excuse me, excuse me,” Saint held up a hand, one on the wheel. The houses went from the tall mansions of Salazar to the workshop rows of Helga, to the low houses of The Hollow. “Did you or did you not just place all of your hopes of freedom on a long lost, legendary treasure.”

“Bash—Saint.”

“Answer the question.”

“It’s not my hope, it’s just an option.”

Saint just shook his head. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Come on,” Logan urged as Saint stopped the car in front of The Lion. “Isn’t there something you want? Something that much gold could get you?”

“Come to think of it, there isn’t that much I want, no.”

Logan paused, and then said, “Then, is there something you hate?”

When Saint didn’t reply for enough time, Logan took his backpack and got out of the car.

~

Sirius had dreamed about his little brother last night. Only, he had been on Wolfsbane, and Regulus had been on shore. There had been someone else in the boat, too, someone expertly pulling the ropes and taking Sirius farther out to sea. The wind had been warm.

Sirius had woken up thinking about Remus Lupin.

His entire day was thrown off.

Sirius looked over at Saint. “Are we going to talk about it?”

Saint had his head in Dorcas’ lap and his eyes closed. “Pardon?”

Dorcas and Sirius glanced at each other. “Logan.”

“We were at Saint Clair together. What else is there to say?”

“Maybe how he got out.”

“And why,” Dorcas added, running a hand through Saint’s hair. “It might help if you talked about that place more.”

“I’m good, thanks.”

Sirius groaned. “Saint. Come on, that kid looked freaked talking to you and then he bolted. What’s up?”

Saint sighed, his face opening up into a rare moment of softer eyes, and he sat up, nearly facing away from the both of them.

Sirius listened to the crickets outside. Before, he had just wanted to know about the orphanage. Now, he wanted Saint to not have to keep it all inside.

“When I arrived when I was five, Logan and Finn were already there,” Saint said finally. “And its not like its this horrible place. We have beds and food and we go to school together. We have friends. But we’re also locked away. The nuns are strict. The punishments are old-fashioned. A slap. A few days in solitude. The problem is…”

Sirius got up from his perch on the window and sat beside Saint on the ratty old couch they had dragged in. Saint didn’t look at him, but let him and Dorcas lay gentle hands on him, Dorcas’ on his back, Sirius’ one of his crossed ankles.

“I watched kids turn eighteen,” Saint said, voice steely. “And they’d be packing their bags and then—unpacking them.”

“They,” Dorcas began. “You mean they decided to stay?”

Saint just shook his head slowly. “I still haven't completely figured it out. I think—maybe Crucio has something to do with it. It’s the only thing I can think of that would make them stay. I keep having this—this memory of being so tired at night. And these dreams.”

“The plant Crucio is made out of has Melatonin in it,” Dorcas said, brow creased. “It influences the dreaming. The hallucinations.”

“So, what?” Sirius asked. “They stay for Crucio, you think?”

“They work some,” Saint said. “Around the island. But, yeah. They stay.”

“You think they’re bringing money back?” Dorcas asked gently. “To the orphanage?”

Saint shrugged. “I told you. I haven’t completely figured it out. But I’d rather figure it out from the outside. Even when I was seven, I knew something was wrong. But I was older when I arrived. Finn and Logan had been there since they were too young to recognize something like that. They didn’t know anything else.”

“And…you do?” Sirius asked faintly. Saint had never brought up remembering anything about his prior life, his family.

Saint laughed faintly and got up. “Who knows. That’s the thing about memories, right? We tend to make them worse, or make them better.” Sirius watched him go to the sink and turn it on and off. He opened the refrigerator and then closed it. Finally, he stilled.

“But I hate them,” Saint said, almost to himself. “I hate them for making anything feel real.”

Sirius opened his mouth to respond when Dorcas’ phone lit up with a loud ping.

She picked it up. “From Marlene. Apparently we’re invited to a movie night at Potter’s house.”

“Of course we are,” Sirius sighed, and got up and wrapped his arms around Saint from behind. “What do you feel like?”

Saint looked at him over his shoulder. “Well, how could I ever pass that up?”

~

When Logan didn’t find Leo at The Lion, he went to the Knut’s workshop instead. He’d been in there a handful of times now. It was a crowded room, walls-to-ceiling tools and cupboards that organized different found objects. Sea-glass and shards of blue china. There was large glass jars of things like compasses or pieces of weather vanes hanging by woven rope plant holders from the ceiling. There was a forge that was cool now, and there was a long work bench.

He found Leo on the work bench with the garage door open to the street, shirtless and welding something together.

“Oh,” Logan said instead of announcing himself.

Leo looked up, then back down, sparks flying around him. “Hey, what’s up?”

Logan walked a few steps inside and set his backpack—which was still empty—down.

“I want to help you,” he said.

The sparks stopped and Leo pushed his welding mask up. He was sweaty, his cheeks flushed from the heat. “What? With this?”

Logan rolled his eyes and walked in to straddle the other end of the work bench. “The treasure. We need to find the treasure. Think how rich we’d be.”

Leo stared at him for a long moment, then took his mask off and set his equipment down. For a moment, his face looked thunderous. Logan thought he was about to tell him to get out, but the storm dissipated.

“This isn’t a joke to me,” Leo said evenly after another pause. “And it’s not some greedy game, either. That’s not why my dad looked for things like this. He loved history.”

Logan blinked. “You—you don’t want the money?”

Leo rolled his eyes. “Of course I do. What do you think the finder gets?”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I’m saying don’t make me regret telling you. I’m saying my dad was never one to just pawn things off. He wanted things like that on display, for people to learn from.”

“How very, very noble and grand,” came another voice, and they both looked up to see Saint standing there. He had changed since the last time Logan had seen him. He was wearing a t-shirt that said New Orleans Saints.

“Saint?” Leo said.

“Hi there,” Saint gave a little salute. “I have a movie night to go to, apparently, a nice little godly sleepover, but I thought I’d stop by.”

“What are you doing…” Logan began warily.

“Well, come to think of it, there is something I hate.”

Leo tilted his head. “What is he talking about?”

“Not to mention,” Saint continued, and touched the bottom of the hanging compasses. He studied one, then looked at them and grinned.

“I do like gold,” Saint said.

[pastel-odette]

Revenge- A Banana Fish Fanfiction

This is a fic written for @emi-joanna. Sorry it took so long, I started work and college this past month. I hope it's as angsty as you requested!

(tws are properly tagged as tw _____)

“Eiji! Hurry up! We’re gonna be late!”

Eiji came rushing out of the house, locking up before making his way to the car. “What took you so long?” Aslan asked. Eiji opened up his satchel to reveal various snacks and sweets. “I had to grab the essentials,” he said with a smile. Aslan chuckled. “You really think we’re gonna need them?” “Yes!! During last year’s shrine visit you whined and whined about being hungry, so this time I thought I’d come prepared.” “How do you even remember that?” “Magic, my love. Now enough questions! Let’s go already!” It had been seven years since the couple had moved to Izumo. The first year had been the toughest. Despite being months out of the hospital, Aslan had still been reeling from the attack from Lao. The realization that even after Dino was dead, even after he thought he was finally free, someone still wanted to kill him had hit him extremely hard. He had felt foolish for thinking he would ever be anything other than what Dino made him. To hunt and be hunted, was that really all there was left for him? He had almost wished he hadn’t survived. He didn’t even understand why he survived in the first place.

The decision to move to Japan with Eiji did not come easy. Almost every part of him was screaming at him to abandon that hope that he could ever have a normal life. The physical distance made it seem more unattainable, too. However, Eiji was persistent. He would text every day, and call as much as he could. He was determined to make sure Aslan saw their original plan to move to Japan through.

Eventually, Aslan caved in. He said goodbye to New York, and started a new life with his soulmate. It wasn’t until he laid in bed that night, Eiji sleeping peacefully next to him, that what he did hit him all at once. An entirely new country with nothing to protect himself with.

For a while, they stayed at the Okumura family house. Eiji’s father was still in the hospital as he learned, so it was just the two of them, Eiji’s mother, and his sister. He felt surprisingly welcomed, like he was truly part of the family. It was strange to him to meet people so truly kind and hospitable upon first meeting. It wasn’t long until it started to feel like home.

But it still didn’t feel safe. He would lay awake at night, Eiji beside him, terrified of every little noise he heard. On the rare occasions where he did sleep, he would have terrible nightmares, and when he would jolt awake he would reach for a gun that wasn’t there.

The Okumuras noticed how fidgety and cautious he was. So, they installed a security system in their house. They did everything, big and small, to help him adjust to this new life. When Aslan and Eiji moved out into their own house, they took a lot of these things with them. The security system, the protective charms, the little statues of gods that could protect them. It stunned Aslan how… good he felt to be living this life.

Izumo is where Aslan had found peace and happiness. “We’re here,” Aslan said.

They made their way through the rows of trees together, surrounded by other people also dressed for the chilly weather. Some wore their traditional kimonos, some wore more casual winter clothes. As they approached the torii gates they saw a familiar person standing there. “Mari!” Eiji shouted as he waved to his sister. She waved back as she walked up and gave them both a tight hug. “How are your studies going?” Aslan asked with a soft smile. “Well, just as tough as last year. But I’m glad to finally be visiting again!” She beamed.

When Aslan moved to Japan, Mari was right there alongside Eiji to greet him. She was thrilled to meet him, and sympathetic when she realized Aslan had lived a much different life than her and her brother. It wasn’t long until she felt like his own sister. When she moved to Tokyo for college, he nearly cried with how proud he was.

“You’re not wearing mom’s kimono this year,” Eiji pointed out.

Usually, Mari would wear a deep blue kimono with a stunningly complex design depicting a soaring phoenix and a gold-colored obi. It was passed down through many generations until it was owned by their mother, and now her. Now she was wearing a pale yellow kimono with a much simpler chrysanthemum pattern and pink obi with a chrysanthemum obidome to match. Mari gave a sad smile. “It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. I just didn’t want something so… connected to her anymore. So my friends took me shopping and I found this. Don’t worry though, I didn’t throw away the other one or anything. It’s still in my closet.” “I think it looks good. Suits you,” said Aslan. Eiji nodded his head. This time, Mari beamed.

Being the very first day of the New Year, the temple was crowded with all sorts of people. The chozuya was completely packed, and it took them a few minutes before they were able to purify their hands. Ash always wondered if his hands could ever be truly pure, but he tried not to think about that as he poured the water. It was supposed to be a day of celebration and good luck. He didn’t want his thoughts to ruin that.

Every year, Aslan wished to the gods for protection. Protection from violence, from grief, from assault, from everything that made his life miserable for so long. This year was no different. However, there was something else this year he needed extra luck for. He prayed for that too.

Next, they went to exchange their omamori. Aslan chose the protection charm, as he did every year, and Mari chose the education charm. Usually, Eiji would get the protection charm just as Aslan did. This time he chose the success charm. “What goal do you want to be successful?” Mari asked.

“This year, I’m determined to have my own photo gallery.” It was a goal he had for a while, but this year he was going to have the luck of the gods on his side.

Finally, they needed to pull their o-mikuji.

“I’m a little nervous,” Mari jokes. Most of the time she had negative fortunes. However, this year, she would apparently have a future blessing (and small luck in her romantic relationships). Aslan was given half-blessing with lots of luck in travel. Then it was Eiji’s turn.

“Curse…”

“Well, it could be worse,” Aslan said, “at least you’re not super-mega-cursed.”

Eiji just sighed and folded up the paper.

“You’re not gonna read the rest of it?” “Nah. Not really a point.”

As they left the shrine, Eiji trailed behind and sulked.

Aslan gave Mari a nudge.

“You talk to him, you're the psychology major. I’m no good at this stuff.”

Mari nodded and went to walk beside Eiji.

“Listen, if it’s just a regular curse, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. It’s mostly just little everyday inconveniences. The worst I’ve experienced with just a regular curse is that really bad breakup I had with Yui.” “With who??” “Hush, Aslan, this isn’t about you. Anyways, I don’t think you have anything to really worry about.”

When they get to the parking lot, they have to part ways. Mari made plans to go visit some of her old friends, and Aslan and Eiji had to return home, as they were going to host dinner that night.

When Aslan and Eiji arrived home, they were greeted by a very excitable golden retriever. They had gotten him about a year ago, when he was just a year old, from a local shelter. Even then, he still acted a little bit like a puppy.

“Hey, Bud,” Aslan said as he knelt down to pet Buddy. The dog jumped up to lick his face.

“Should we start dinner now?” Eiji asked as he put down his stuff and made his way to the kitchen.

“You can. Might as well. Just in case someone comes early or something.”

“You can’t just spend all afternoon petting Buddy, you know.” “I know, I know! I’ll help you in a minute.”

Buddy didn’t seem to mind all the extra attention he was getting, though. But eventually, Aslan had to go help his partner.

“Alright, so what’s the plan?” asked Aslan as he put on his apron. He didn’t always help in the kitchen, his skill level was limited to basic survival foods, but over the years he got better and better at it. It felt very domestic, to cook alongside someone.

“How about you start on the datemaki? I’ll make the ramen.”

Aslan nodded, and they both started getting their ingredients. The kitchen was large enough that they could work around each other comfortably, and it wasn’t long until the kitchen started to smell delicious. Buddy noticed this, and trotted over to beg for treats.

“I have nothing for you,” Aslan said. Still, Buddy sat beside him, wagging his tail and giving him an expectant look. Aslan tried to ignore him as he started to whine, focusing on mixing the ingredients together.

“Here, Buddy!” Eiji called the dog, waving a large bone. Buddy instantly jumped up and ran over, wagging his tail furiously. Eiji then gave him the bone, which Buddy took to the living room happily.

“There we go, that’ll keep him occupied,” Eiji smiled. Aslan couldn’t help but smile back.

They continued cooking nonstop into the evening. As time went on, the more dishes they completed, and the more it started to look like a full meal. However, they were still pretty far from done.

Aslan sighed as he stretched. There was enough time to just take a tiny little break, he thought. He leaned against the counter and looked over at Eiji. His partner seemed distracted by something as he stared off into space.

“Hey.”

“Ah!” Eiji jumped, fumbling the bag of flour he was holding before dropping it on the counter.

“Ohhh no!” he exclaimed. Aslan chuckled slightly before helping his partner clean up the mess.

“Looks like your bad luck has officially begun.”

“Don’t even joke about that!” Eiji said as he smacked the other with a floured towel. Ash looked down at his arm then back up at Eiji with a smile.

“Really? You wanna start this?” He dipped his thumb in the flour before smudging it across Eiji’s cheek.

“You’re on!”

And that’s how it started, a full-blown flour war.

Nothing was spared. Flour was thrown, smudged, and flew everywhere. The counters, the floor, their clothes, their skin, their hair and skin, all of it was covered in at least a thin layer of flour.

It was stupid, it was childish, they had wasted an entire bag just making everything dirty. But they didn’t care. It was fun. They were having fun and messing around together. At that moment, they weren’t thinking about having to clean up and get back to cooking, they just thought about each other.

The couple just laid on the floor together as Buddy sniffed around them before licking Aslan in the face.

“No, Buddy!” Aslan squealed, pushing Buddy’s face away. The dog just wagged his tail as his owners helped each other up.

“You’re a mess,” Eiji laughed.

“Speak for yourself! You’re even dirtier than me! Go take a shower, I’ll clean this all up.”

Eiji kissed Aslan’s floured cheek before going to wash himself and his clothes.

Once everything was all clean, both of them included, they had to work faster in order to get everything done by the time their guests would arrive. Occasionally, though, they would look over at each other, and laugh silently before getting back to work.

Eventually, they had a complete New Year’s Day dinner. Eiji set the table while Aslan arranged the food into the boxes.

“Well, I’d say it looks pretty good,” Aslan said.

“We make a pretty good team!” Eiji shouted from the dining room.

When everything was all set for their guests to arrive, they high-fived to celebrate their hard work. It was the first time they cooked for New Year’s all on their own, and it was the first time they would be hosting.

The first to arrive were Ibe and his wife, Namiko. They met shortly after he returned to Japan, and she was a very kind woman, the kind that got along with all her neighbors and would check in on them from time to time. The couple greeted their hosts warmly with hugs and a bottle of sake.

Buddy was thrilled to have guests, and quickly ran over to receive pets from two of his many favorite humans.

It wasn’t much longer after that when Mari arrived, and the party officially started. Chatter filled the house as they ate. They talked about everything that had happened during the past year, everything they accomplished, and everything they hoped to accomplish this year.

“Well, I have no complaints,” Ibe said, “We traveled a lot this year for work.”

“It was great! So many fun new places we visited,” Namiko said.

“Mine was just another normal year of classes. I made a new group of friends, and they’re really great," Mari said through a mouthful of food.

“We adopted our dog,” Eiji beamed. Buddy was resting in the living room. After a while of whining for food, he had finally given up, and they knew if they mentioned him by name he would come over and start begging again.

The party went on late into the night as they continued to chat and drink. Everyone’s spirits couldn’t be higher as they celebrated the past and welcomed in the future, giving a toast for good luck. Eventually, though, the night had to end. They said their goodbyes to each other, and the guests went home, leaving Aslan and Eiji to clean up.

Aslan felt content as he washed the dishes. It was a great night, surrounded by people he loved. Seven years in Japan. He hadn’t felt like Ash Lynx in so long. He felt like he had control over his life.

A partner, a house, a dog, a legal job, friends, a little sister. The old ladies on his street fawned over him as if he was free from sin. The local coffee shop knew his face and order by heart. Nobody feared him, they were all friendly towards him, and treated him as if he really was normal.

Oftentimes it felt unreal. But as he sat on the couch, Eiji nestled into his side, he knew it was.

“Thank you,” Eiji murmured.

“For what?”

“For helping out today. For everything you do. You’re so good to me.”

Aslan smiled softly.

“I should be the one saying that to you.”

“How about we’re both good to each other?”

“Yeah,” Aslan whispered, “I can agree with that.”

The next few days of the New Year were spent with Mari. The plan was for her to go back to Tokyo on the fourth, when the holiday was over, so they wanted as much time with her as they could.

During the Japanese New Year, businesses are closed for the next three days. They couldn't go to restaurants, shops, or the market. So mostly, they just spent time at Aslan and Eiji’s house. Watching TV, playing board games, and video games on the SNES they got a few years back. They could also go to the beach.

Izumo was a coastal town, with cliff sides to the north, and a long, thin strip of beach to the west. When the three of them stepped out of the car, they were glad they brought thick coats, as there was a cold breeze.

“Come on Buddy!” Eiji said as he opened the car door. The dog jumped out of the car, wagging his tail happily.

The beach was an important place in Izumo, something Aslan had learned shortly after he moved. On the northern shore of the beach, there was a very large rock with a small shrine on top, too high for humans to reach. Every October, the gods would come to Izumo, and convene at the beach and its shrine.

Aside from it being a spiritual place, the beach was also just beautiful. It reminded Aslan of when he was younger, when he and Griffin would run across the sand and splash in the waves. Sometimes, when he and Eiji would take a walk along the beach, they would see children or a family, and he would feel a bit of nostalgia.

Now, he walked this beach with his new family.

It was late in the afternoon, and the sun was low in the sky. They were only planning for it to be a relatively short walk, and would return to the car not long after the sun fully set. It was just nice to get some fresh air.

The trio walked in silence, aside from Buddy’s pants, until Aslan broke it.

“You know, Mari, you got a pretty interesting fortune this year,” he said.

Eiji caught on to what he meant. “Yeah! Are you excited for it?”

“For the future fortune? I guess so. It’s better than I get most years,” she said.

“No no, I mean about your romance fortune,” Aslan smiled.

Mari became slightly flustered, glaring at the couple. They just laughed in response.

“You should really get back out there again,” Eiji teased, “You’re not still heartbroken over Yui are you?”

Mari lightly punched her brother in the side.

“Of course not! That was the beginning of high school! Butt out of my love life!”

“But you, dear sister, are the one that butted into my love life when I went to America.”

“I shall have you know, dear brother, that I have matured since then. Besides, the charm I gave you worked, didn’t it?”

Eiji looked over at Aslan with a smile and squeezed his hand.

“Yeah. It did.”

The sun had begun to set at this point, halfway across the horizon. It was a beautiful sight, soft pinks and reds across the sky. The three stopped to admire it, Buddy sitting beside them.

“I think this is a moment worth capturing,” Eiji said. He got the polaroid camera from around his neck. They all posed close together, Aslan picking up Buddy so he could be in the shot, with the sunset in the background.

“Smile!”

Click.

The photo printed slowly, and Eiji shook it so it could develop faster.

It showed the four of them, happy in smiling, in the place they loved so much. They waited for the sun to set fully before returning home.

Instantly, the photo went up on their wall.

Unfortunately, the fourth eventually came, and Mari had to leave. At the train station, they said their goodbyes.

“Be sure to write!” Eiji said as she waved.

“I always do!”

With that, the train doors closed, and she left Izumo. Since it was the first day of the new year that businesses were open, Aslan decided he might as well go run some errands.

“See you at home,” he said as he pecked Eiji on the cheek.

“Mhm, see you.” Eiji waved goodbye to him.

The first stop was the coffee shop. Why not, right? It was a very cozy little shop and the majority of the patrons were locals and regulars. When the barista noticed him, he smiled.

“The usual?”

Aslan nodded, and the barista got to work. The coffee shop was relatively small compared to those in America, and it was warmly lit. As Aslan sat at the counter watching the barista he felt the chill of the mid-winter weather.

“Here’s your coffee,” the barista said as he placed the mug in front of Aslan. Most people see Aslan as the type of person to drink straight black coffee. And for a while, he was. As soon as he was “old enough” to drink coffee, he would drink it without sugar or creamer. It fit the persona he had and made him seem more mature to those around him. Now he didn’t care about any of that. He made his coffee super sweet. Tons of sugar, tons of creamer, because that was the way he actually liked it.

Usually, he would take the time to stay and chat with the barista for a bit. He was a funny and friendly guy, most of the reason Aslan liked this coffee shop in particular. However, today he had the odd urge to get home as much as possible. Maybe it was just because of the chill, he thought.

The next stop was the grocery store. They only really needed things to replace what they had used to cook dinner on New Years, including the flour that they had wasted.

He absentmindedly went through the small store until a voice called out to him from behind.

“My dear Aslan!”

He turned around to see his neighbor, Mrs. Tanaka. She was an old woman, kind as can be like almost everyone else in the neighborhood, who loved to garden in her front lawn and chat him up whenever she saw him. Aslan greeted her back and smiled.

“How have you been? How’s Eiji? Did you have a good new year?”

“Everything is good. How was your trip?”

The two chatted for a bit, catching up on things that happened since the last time they talked. Most of his neighbors he could strike up a conversation with just like this. It was the kind of neighborhood he could see himself and Eiji growing old in. It was a weird thought, to grow old with someone in a small town, but it was right.

They said their goodbyes, and Aslan continued shopping as normal.

When Aslan came home, the front door was unlocked. Huh. Maybe Eiji just forgot. However, when he opened the door, he was met with a horrible sight.

There lay Buddy, unmoving, in a pool of blood.

Aslan dropped his bags and rushed to his dear pet. He picked him up gently as tears began to fall.

How did this even happen? When? Why wasn’t he here to stop it?

That’s when he saw it. The wound on Buddy’s neck. A bullet wound. Someone… shot Buddy. There was no way. He was supposed to be safe in Japan. He was supposed to be safe with Eiji. Eiji... “Eiji!” he shouted. No response. He shouted again. The house was silent. Aslan gently placed down Buddy’s body. He had to make sure Eiji was okay. Eiji had to be okay, right?

Aslan crept through the house silently, listening for any sounds that might lead him towards Eiji or the intruder. As he approached the kitchen, he saw a pot on the stove bubbling over, so he turned off the stove. This whole thing must have happened fairly recently. A knife was also missing from the drawer.

Finally, he made his way to the bedroom.

What he saw terrified him.

Eiji. Sprawled across the floor, next to the open closet doors as if he had been pulled out, a knife in his hand. A bullet in his forehead. His eyes were wide open, and his cheeks were stained with tears.

Ash fell to his knees. This couldn’t be happening. Eiji couldn’t be dead. He was dreaming, he was hallucinating, this was some kind of joke. What separated him from his old life now? What stopped him from being Ash Lynx again?

Ash sobbed, and sobbed and sobbed. His love had been murdered. The bastard shot his dog, too. Why? He didn’t do anything. Neither of them did anything. It wasn’t fair.

He reached into the closet and pulled out a small box. Inside was a silver engagement ring. He picked up Eiji’s greying, cold hand and slipped the ring onto his finger.

“I know that we could never get married legally. But I still wanted to think of you as my husband. After all we had been through, didn’t we deserve that much?”

Eiji didn’t respond. His glossed-over eyes stared at nothing. Ash closed them.

“My soul will always be with you.”

--------

This might turn into a chaptered fic

Thank you to @syanara for betaing!

Tag list: @mycatshuman

[fizzingwizard]

Episode 28~ Well, I heard this season’s supposedly got 60 episodes total (don’t quote me, that may be wrong) so we’re almost at the halfway point... I’m gonna wait till episode 30 to talk about that though.

This episode I actually rather liked, even though absolutely NOTHING happens other than the important things at the very beginning and the very end. That’s becoming a pattern this season - lots of nothing sandwiched in between hints of big dramatic things to come. Eh. But yeah, I liked it anyway :P for a few reasons that are probably not that objective. It’s not the kind of episode that’s gonna make you want to rewatch though.

Cap of the week!

Look we all know Jou is exactly the kind of 12 year old who folds his clothes neatly even when lost in a mysterious parallel world. Also he brought more textbooks (social studies and Japanese). Aka more ammo for Mimi

More below:

Last week we ended with Patamon evolving to Angemon in what was a pretty anticlimactic moment, despite a big villain being there and a cliffhanger ending. Seemed like a waste after all we went through just to get him.

However, I do think the beginning of episode 28 makes up for it somewhat. Angemon gets to show off how Very Very Cool he is, but it’s also made clear that he’s not up to full strength. Seeing him throw all his effort into the battle to save them even though it’s clear he won’t win was actually pretty great.

More typhoon winds throwing everyone back XD they must have so many bruises

Poor Takeru gets thrown back all by his lonesome

So last episode, I said I thought Darknightmon was gonna go for Hikari and was surprised and somewhat relieved when he stayed interested in Takeru/Angemon. Um... I guess that was a red herring x’D he’s after Hikari after all.

He literally says “I have no use for you” to Angemon LOL sick burn my dude

Hikari: “There is a new cutest child.”

Takeru: “Um, actually the phrase is ‘smallest child’.“

Hikari: “No. Cutest child. Do not interrupt my moment, impertinent one.”

Grogu: “Did someone say ‘cutest child’?”

Angemon’s peeved that Hikari stole the spotlight so he immediately jumps into the way and prevents Darknightmon from grabbing her.

Angemon: “No one treats ME like some washed up has-been!”

But as hard as he tries, Angemon just hasn’t recovered enough. It probably took all the energy Patamon had stored up just to evolve. His wings lengthen and release into millions of shining feathers, and both he and Darknightmon de-evolve.

I really did kind of enjoy this battle! Seeing Takeru be all strong and heroic, and the desperation with which Angemon tries to protect him... me likey.

Next it’s a nod to 99 series! D-D-Digimon!

Yamato screams like he’s at the dentist’s.

There’s lots of freaky black lightning that rains down seeming to give dark energy and empower random Digimon who get hit by it. Just to ensure our heroes don’t get to waste time on any more “breaks”

A single feather floats down where Taichi lands and dissolves. I am not sure what happened to it, if it did anything or if it was what protected them until this point...

Taichi and Hikari wake up and discover they are alone. So last week I thought they’d get swept off into pairs... I didn’t even consider that they’d each wind up alone. Mixed feelings! On the one hand, seeing each kid interact with their partner and their partner only was one of the good things about this episode (except it wasn’t always true, which I’ll get to in a minute). On the other hand, my fears last week were that whoever ended up with Taichi would be overshadowed by him. Turns out, if no one’s with him but Hikari, that means all the plot stuff is with them and the others have nothing in particular to do. -_-; At least not this week. My hope is that it’s coming (and there were a few promising hints this episode so), but next week’s trailer looks pretty Taichi-centric too..

Taichi: “Can I help it if I’m so charming cool awesome and dare I say it adorable”

The impact of everyone being “alone” is cut short by the fact that they can all still communicate via digivice. I would be fine with that, except for what I said earlier - they wind up spending too much time talking to each other instead of their partners. Particularly the ones who like to Plan Things. Eh.

Yamato tells Taichi to protect Hikari, doesn’t even mention that he’s sadly separated from Takeru at this point ;_; He knows Takeru’s okay though because Takeru is also communicating by digivice.

Sora: “Hello yes, it’s in my contract that I get to be awesome X number of times per episode, and I have doubts that you are making your quota.”

I love how Tentomon’s job is basically Koushirou’s secretary x’D “Put my calls on speakerphone Margaret” “Yes Mr Izumi”

The partners really are suited to each other... Koushirou gets a secretary, Jou gets a mom, Mimi gets a gal pal, Yamato gets a therapist, Sora gets a sister, Taichi gets a... preschool child who eats paste... -.-’

takeru and hikari don’t count because they’re Special and their main attribute is Cute

All the kids have ended up alone except for super-charged monsters who want to eat them. Palmon hoists Mimi up a very sheer rock trying to escape Golemon who is not great at climbing but doesn’t seem to know that

Meanwhile Jou... is like “Ohh yeah, you guys have it so rough, I’m trying my hardest too, keep fighting the good fight y’all”

He’s relaxing in the hot springs and freaking studying.

Gomamon’s unusually fine with it though. Because he gets to swim. He says “Let’s invite the others here.” They’re both like YEAH THIS IS WHAT I CALL A VACATION

It’s all fun and games until the hairy guy with the tattoos and veiny arms sharing your hot spring starts staring at your ding-a-ling. Uhhhhhhh.

he does make the “Nanimono?” joke so all is well lol

No matter what form he takes, Patamon is always an Angel 👼

Takeru is alone but he has Patamon... but Patamon is...

... ADORABLE... and conked out. Takeru’s so proud of him though, look at that smile *sniff*

Taichi remembers to ask Koushirou how conditions are back at home. This kid is too organized.

Koushirou: “News and variety shows continue as normal even though the world’s ending.”

I’m not going to get into everything he says but it’s pretty much more of the same regarding the power influx from the human world to the digital world and the way the Zurumon’s attacks are wreaking havoc with electronics...

Taichi almost says “You’re so sugoi!” Almost. He’s grateful anyway. *chews on those Taishiro breadcrumbs till they’re broken down to atoms*

Then... Hikari’s acting strange!

Agumon: “What are you looking at?”

Hikari: “I don’t know.”

Taichi: “You don’t know but you’re looking at it?”

Hikari: “It kind of looks like Steve Buscemi... it’s hard to tell”

Taichi’s not too wigged out by freaky Hikari because he’s lived with her all his life, and she’s always been a freak.

Baby Hikari: “Shteeve... bushemiii....”

Agumon: “Your sister’s weird.”

Taichi: “Yeah but she’s MY weird sister.”

Yamato is fighting, of course. He stops for a moment to be impressed by how well Takeru’s handling himself. Garurumon points it out. I suppose it’s simply time to accept that this season Yamato is just not the disaster boy he was in 99 x’D

Now have some gratuitous adorable Patabutt images.

Patabutt patabutt pata pata butt butt

Um... is it just me or is Patamon kinda... oversized all of a sudden lol...

Takeru: “Did you eat all of my candy stash again?”

Patamon: “I just can’t seem to quit”

Takeru: “That’s it we’re getting you into rehab”

Patamon tries to fly but just can’t ;____; poor baby is totally wiped out. Takeru takes a long time to catch on to that. I REALLY HOPE THIS GOES SOMEWHERE, like Takeru has to protect Patamon instead of the reverse etc... pleeeeease don’t just leave this where it is writers!! The potential for cute is endlessssss

On the matter of Things That Are Not Cute... -.-;

Jou: “Please stop looking at my junk”

Nanimon: “Stop looking at mine”

Jou: “YOU DONT HAVE ANY wait do you wAIT I DONT WANT TO LOOK”

Mimi is much more useful! She discovers a shiny rock!

Theory!

This rock... could be the raw material for their Crests!!! Squeee~!! I mean, it’s about time something about that came up, assuming it’s still a thing. (Since they already seem to have their Crests loaded in their Digivices and got to Perfect level without any talk of values and personal strengths, I don’t know how much of the old Crest legacy remains in this season.) I, uh, did the same thing in my fanfic so I guess I’m just biased... These could totally be Evil Rubies Of Darkness and Terror but I’d rather have Crests :p Of course I would have expected Mimi to find green stones in that case sooo... maybe not.

Anyway she and Palmon are suitably distracted from running from Golemon and go mining instead. I’m sure that will not cause any problems.

We swing back to Taichi and Hikari, who are being approached by a big scary monster...

Taichi: “Watch my Tarzan impression.”

Hikari: “Nooo! I don’t want to be Jane!”

Fortunately Agumon evolves just to catch them in midair x’D Now is not the time for impressions, Taichi, seriously.

They are attacked by Volcdramon, which is a dumbass name.

Voldramon: “I AM VOLCRADMON, THE VOLCANO DIGIMON”

Taichi: “Velcromon the Velcro Digimon?”

Voldramon: “what NO i am Volcdramon-”

Hikari: “Voltronmon? Voldemortmon?”

Voldramon: *sniveling* “why does this happen EVERY time i JUST want to be one of the cool guys youre all such BULLIES”

MetalGreymon and Volcdramon face off, but something’s not right! Much like... the Digimon in the last episode whose name I already forgot *cough*, Volcdramon seems able to absorb other Digimon’s power. This presents a problem because last time it took all of them shooting into its mouth together to overload it so they could win. MetalGreymon is having a hard time on his own as Volcdramon just absorbs all his attacks.

Hikari prays to Jesus to save them. Digimon is approved for Christian families 👼👼👼

ugggghhh I love them

Taichi promises Hikari everything will be okay. His back-and-forth with MetalGreymon here is kind of cool. Every time MetalGreymon takes a hit, Taichi’s encouragement and coaching?? I guess keeps frustration at bay.

Buuut eventually they’re both feeling pretty desperate :P It was hard for me to take this battle seriously since, after all we’ve seen MetalGreymon capable of, it seems weird that he should be struggling this much. But obviously they don’t just want to make him invincible. And this problem makes sense: the ability of Digimon to absorb attacks and turn them into energy is definitely a new problem.

The question is, how do we solve it?

Apparently it helps if you have a little sister who’s some kind of super battery.

Taichi: “Nothing shocks me anymore with Hikari. She could announce she’s been Beyonce this whole time and I would believe it”

WarGreymon appears (again) as his goldeny vision self, defeats Volcdramon, then promptly de-evolves back to Agumon.

So the question is, why is this happening... From earlier episodes we know Agumon & co are some group of legendary warriors who have had their memories tampered with (??) to some extent (because they do still know each other, or at least Agumon and Gabumon remember knowing each other). Omegamon’s a given for that of course so I suppose that’s why. Hikari seems to be the key to unlocking the legendary warriors, maybe with Takeru. That’s my guess. Of course, Tailmon’s probably already in the bad guys’ clutches, much like Patamon was. I hope she’s still working for them. I want more double agent fun times. Also ANGST

Hikari: “Thank you, Agumon-” *disappears*

Taichi: “GEEZ I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t even breathe without something bad happening anymore, like excuse me for BLINKING”

Yeah so... Skullknightmon appears and abducts Hikari like it’s nothing xD

Skullknightmon: “What’s under arm number two? Iiiiit’s your sister!”

Taichi: “Aw damn, I wanted the sports car”

Taichi quickly gives chase. I assume Agumon’s pretty exhausted after that and probably can’t evolve now. Bad timing. Oooor maybe this is all how Skullknightmon planned it...

Then... the unthinkable! Hikari looks at her brother rushing desperately to save her... and turns away!

Taichi is SHOCKED! Le GASP!

Taichi: “But but but I’m the MAIN CHARACTER”

Hikari: “Not anymore bitch it’s my show now”

Yeah okay jokes aside! This bit was AWESOME. Like, I’m sure it’s obvious that she can tell the voice that “called” her to the digital world is with Skullnightmon. Or at least, her heart’s telling her she has to go with him in order to meet that person (Tailmon, duh). I’ll be surprised if that’s not what’s going on. But... to so coldly just turn her back on her brother... I mean, maybe she also thinks she’s protecting him... but SHE JUST GOT HERE... holy crap...

To think we spent so long theorizing that Takeru would be the one abducted but no it’s Hikari... In retrospect should have been obvious. She’s 1) a girl and therefore a damsel, and 2) the one who was abducted in 99 xP

But I really like her semi-willingly going off with Skullnightmon. Much better than just screaming as she’s whisked away King Kong-style. In 99 she also got abducted voluntarily (I mean, it was coercion, so... that’s not voluntary, but you know what I mean). So they kept that in this season and I like it.

That’s it for this week’s episode! So the bits that I liked were the individual moments with the kids and their partners, of which we had more than usual but still not nearly enough. Nowhere near. In the end it was still a Taichi episode.

As a Taichi fan... it’s not like I’m ever sad that he gets more focus. But I love ALL the kids and they’re NOT getting development. We do keep getting hints about them but it’s so, so, so slow. To be fair, it’s not like we know THAT much about Taichi either. He gets so much focus because he’s always fighting. This season doesn’t seem concerned with personality and character bits like the 99 one, and I am gonna compare them for that. Because I think that was the heart of the 99 show. Without it, it’s missing something. I keep hoping it’ll come back, we keep getting those hints and special moments here and there, but the plot is such a distraction... if it was like a really good plot maybe I’d care less but...

Next week...  as far as I can see, it’s another Taichi episode xP But I do think they’ll do the same as this episode and intersperse Taichi’s battle with what’s going on with the others too. If that’s how they do it, I won’t mind. It might even be better. Fine, Taichi can fight, as long as the others are showing us more about themselves and getting other things done in the meantime. Mimi and Jou both look promising. Takeru too. Sora and Yamato, not sure..

Koushirou better not just sit at his computer the whole time -___-

Le owch.

Taichi: “Look being the main character’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I have three concussions and six broken bones. Also I can’t feel my toes anymore”

hang in there bud im cheering for ya

[nellie-elizabeth]

First Line Meme Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

tagged by @lizardkingeliot. Thanks!!! <3

This is going to be fun!

1. The Production of Penny. SPOILERS for A Comet Pulled From Orbit.

For the first several weeks, it’s just impossible to meet her. Penny will feel bad about it later, but he can’t take in any new stimuli when his entire body, mind, soul is shivering in the exposed light, trying to adjust to a reality he’d given up on returning to. He holes himself up with his family in one of his favorite places, a small house in Alaska, of all places, that he’d only just acquired and made comfortable when he’d—when he’d gotten himself trapped somewhere else.

2. The Way a Fool Would Do

You never really know what you’re getting into, when you choose to take a soulmate. Before Quentin had bound himself to Eliot, he’d been forced to endure the normal barrage of questions from the Fillorian Soul Council, and then a separate barrage of questions from his cousin Julia, who had nitpicked his choice down to the marrow, pouring concern after concern into Quentin’s already terrified brain.

He’d been so frustrated with her at the time, but in retrospect he can’t blame her for her caution. The fact is, no matter how much you prepare, no matter how much you think you’ve thought it all through, binding another soul to your own is unlike anything else in the world. It is impossible to know how it will feel until it’s already too late to turn back.

3. The Genesis of Julia

She decides, while watching the 1984 Summer Olympics one lazy day, a magically cool glass of lemonade on the table beside her as she lounges back into their comfiest armchair, to master gymnastics. The decision is made more or less on a whim; this is how Julia decides how to spend a great deal of her infinite life minutes, truthfully. She’s organized and meticulous once she knows her goal, but when it comes to finding said goal, it’s all about what strikes her fancy.

4. The Construction of Kady

The dust took a couple of weeks to settle, after Kady’s abrupt departure from her old life and chaotic intrusion into her new one. She’d been in the middle of war with her own people when she’d died for the first time, and the others had found her desperately attempting to steal magic from a rival hedge group in order to survive, too anxious about her own life to properly mourn for her mother’s death, and certainly too caught up in her own frantic mind to trust any of these new people, much less believe them about their immortality, or her own.

5. The Origins of Alice

There was no way to prepare for something like this. There was simply nothing she could do, nothing she could write down, no refinements she could make, that would help her to be more ready for what the morning would bring.

Alice hated that very much, of course.

6. The Creation of Quentin

The object in question was beautifully rendered, detailed and precise. A burnished color, the cool weight of it reassuringly solid in Q’s hands as he examined it, turning it over and over in his hands. This one wasn’t even particularly old; it looked to be a sixteenth century model, and Q had seen older and more beautiful in his time.

7. The Making of Margo

When Margo first met Alice, she understood her immediately. That wasn’t to say that Alice was boring, or predictable, or that there was nothing Margo had to learn about her. It wasn’t that at all. It was more that in meeting Alice, Margo was able to take one look at her and think to herself: ah, now this I know what to do with.

8. The Explanation of Eliot

El was afraid of heights, but only a little.

He could fly, after all, and that should have made fear illogical. But if anything, his ability to subvert gravity was the very reason for his nerves: he’d never been able to trust himself with anything, much less his own life or the life of others. The few times his telekinetic powers had been called in as a means of escape or rescue, when he’d held an innocent stranger or beloved family member in his arms and floated with them down from the side of a mountain or building or cliff face… well, those were the things he had nightmares about, on the rare occasions when he could remember his dreams. It was that sensation of freefall, of knowing it was magic, something inexplicable, deep in his consciousness, in his soul, even, that was the only thing preventing sharp, painful, deadly impact. He knew himself well enough to know he should never be trusted with something so precious as the life of another.

9. A Comet Pulled From Orbit

Alice Quinn woke up.

This was an unexpected development, considering the events of mere moments ago. Specifically the agonizing thirty seconds she’d spent bleeding out on the carpet, wondering in an abstract sort of way how long it would be before someone thought to look for her and found her mangled corpse tucked into the corner of a Brakebills Library study room, surrounded by the shredded remains of several large magical tomes, and her carefully collated notes.

---

Pausing here for a moment after the first 9 - eight of them are all part of one series. The main story, A Comet Pulled From Orbit, is an Alice POV AU of The Old Guard. Prominent Queliot subplot, some burgeoning Kalice and other ships as well. Lots of found family, etc. The other stories, all the ones with the seven main characters' names in them, are meant to be a series of small snippets to fill out that universe, backwards and forwards. I'm noticing that I do a lot of setup, I don't often start in medias res with any of these, trying to set a tone and get the information started right away. Each of the chapters of the snippet stories could be their own thing, so it's a little weird to consider it the start of a bigger story!!

Okay, moving on to earlier stories.

10. is it too late (or could this love protect me)

This is a story about nothing and everything. It is a story between then and now. It is a story of people living their lives, living them, and living them, and continuing to live them, with only some pedestrian heartbreak and alcoholism and good old millennial economic angst to add some variety to the humdrum of continued existence.

This is a story about stupidity, and love. Stupid love.

(A/N - hmm I kinda hate this beginning now even though I'm SUPER proud of the story as a whole)

11. Maybe This Time

"Quentin Coldwater?" Eliot says, twisting the name up in his mouth like an insult.

Give him a break - it's a weird fucking name, for one thing. And besides, the off-putting demeanor is an intentional scare tactic.

12. Beyond the Veil

"Do you think the Lorians would want a seat at the table?" Fen asked doubtfully, looking over the charter in front of her.

"Well, they're going to want to review the language, at any rate," one of the advisers put in. "Especially the order of the names."

"But it's in alphabetical order!" Margo said. "Fillory comes before Loria - sorry, not sorry."

13. Running All This Time

Quentin was sweet. There were a lot of words that Eliot could think of to describe him, several of them a lot more besotted than he was comfortable with, but sweet was an apt descriptor, generally speaking.

He had the softest little smile, and wide brown eyes that crinkled up in the corners when he was happy. He had strong yet gentle hands, hands that were somehow mesmerizing as he flapped them around wildly during conversation, trying to paint pictures in the air to accompany his latest rant about whatever-the-fuck. His voice was calming, his circular logic compelling, enough so that Eliot found himself listening - really listening - whenever Quentin was talking to him, even if it was about the Plover books and what they suggested about this time period in Fillorian history, or the politics of trade when it came to buying labor from talking animals, or how he may have come up with a better tracking system to mark down the mosaic patterns they'd already tried. Dry, uninteresting stuff, really. Which is what Eliot told Quentin, with an eye-roll, to stop him from getting a big head.

14. To Feel the Same

Quentin finds Eliot sitting alone in the armory, surrounded by books.

Something tense and frantic inside of him unclenches, like it always does around this man. It’s actually a remarkable thing, because by all rights Eliot should make him more nervous, not less. Quentin is a nervous person, after all, and Eliot is so… Eliot . A High King in his blood. Quentin had meant that, when he said it, and had drank in the gratitude in Eliot’s eyes like a glass of pure, crisp water, essential and quenching.

15. Identity Theft

The first thing the man noticed as he came to consciousness was that his head was pounding. It felt like the worst hangover he'd ever had, times about a million, and for several seconds all he could do was lay there and gasp and wait for his eyes to adjust. He appeared to be in a semi-dark room of some sort. It was large, with a cavernous ceiling above him, and the air was drafty. Like a garage maybe, bigger even - a warehouse?

The second thing he noticed was that he wasn't alone in the room. There were shapes all around him, rustling and making confused, pained sounds. After a few moments of this, there was a whoosh of energy and an orb of light floated above his head, illuminating the space in a soft glow. Someone in the room had cast a simple light spell. He looked around and sat up slowly, trying not to jostle his still pounding head. His next observation was that pretty much everyone in the room with him was kind of stupidly attractive.

16. Promises

Quentin gets about thirty seconds alone in his bedroom in the cottage, before Eliot is bursting through the door without knocking. It's not that he wasn't expecting him to take it hard, but seriously - can he not give Quentin just a couple of minutes of peace?

"This isn't happening," Eliot says without preamble, slamming the door shut behind him. "I'm sorry, Q, but it's not."

"I honestly don't think it's your decision to make," Quentin says, running a tired hand over his face.

17. The Curse of the Broken Vase (aka The One Where They Get Married and Nothing Goes Wrong)

Quentin was pacing.

He was pacing, and he was tugging his hands through his hair, which he really shouldn't be doing because it had actually taken a hairdresser an annoying amount of time to brush it out and tie it back, and apparently it was perfect now, even though Quentin couldn't really see how it was different from his normal lazy bun, but whatever.

There would be people, Eliot included, who would be annoyed with him for messing up his hair.

18. Liquid Courage

Eliot was fidgeting. Which was unusual, and generally not a good sign. But it still wasn't much of a warning, Quentin had thought to himself later, given what was about to happen. Then again, Eliot had been acting strangely all week, a little distant and distracted, and Quentin had known his partner was working up to discuss something with him.

Quentin had been worried, of course, but in an abstract sort of way. He figured whatever it was, the two of them were more than equal to the challenge. Given everything they'd been through over the entire course of their relationship, he really couldn't imagine any piece of news that would be capable of obliterating their lives.

19. Reciprocal

The thing about Quentin Coldwater was that it was pretty much impossible not to love him. Honestly, it wasn't even Eliot's fault - how was he expected to spend every second of every day around such a beautiful, adorable, kind person without letting it get to him? And the sex. Well. That was fucking incendiary, which really wasn't helping his resolve in the love department.

20. Fragments

It was a perfectly normal morning in Fillory. Which, honestly, should have been Quentin's first warning that things were about to go very, very wrong. Fillory was many things, but normal was not one of them: Q had gotten used to being woken up by harried castle employees, alerting him to one catastrophe or another. The Serpent War had ended months ago, but the paperwork was still pouring in like it had never stopped. His official role in the government wasn't supposed to have anything to do with the war efforts, but it had been an all-hands-on-deck situation for the last year or so.

---

Oh my goodness, this took me back to almost my first story in this fandom! I have 22 Magicians fics posted, so that's almost all of them...

I think my favorite of all of these is Maybe This Time, just because I like starting off with such an iconic moment from canon. It's the kind of fic that I hope resonates with people differently upon a re-read, and I like the strong, instantly recognizable hook. You read that first line and you know where you are, but you have no real idea where the story is about to take you.

I've also had a lot of fun writing Julia in the Comet 'verse and I like her opening line to the first snippet I did for her!

---

I'll tag @hmgfanfic, @ameliajessica, @hoko-onchi-writes, @freneticfloetry, @honeybabydichotomy, @allegria23, @spiders-hth-is-an-outlier, @rubickk7, @portraitofemmy, @propinquitous, and all others who want to!!

[pbandjesse]

Today was a pretty good day. Even if it never actually snowed like it was supposed to and Im slightly bummed about that. 

I slept pretty okay. And I woke up around 830 when I heard James working in the living room. His new schedule has him going from wednesday til saturday, but that works out well because he is trying to do some substitute work. So hell have two school days for that and always have sundays off. Pretty excellent. 

I stayed in bed just watching videos on my phone for a long while. But I knew I had much to do today. I accomplished many things and Im pretty proud of that. 

When I did get up I got washed and dressed. My piercing looks even better today and Im really happy about that. I felt super cute and good about myself. 

I had breakfast and played a little animal crossing. Visited a few islands. But I knew I wanted to go to target. I could only remember a couple things I wanted, but the real reason was I wanted to get some stuff for James for valentines and I hadnt had time because of work and snow and sleepy. And because the weather was supposed to get gross in the afternoon I headed out pretty early. 

I talked to Mr Will in the hallway. Told him James is working from home. And that my job ended again so Im on the hunt again. But thats alright. It was nice to see him and joke around. 

And then I was on the road. It was an alright drive. A little bit of icy rain but thats fine. The tire needed air, because it always does. So I felt nervous about that the whole time. Well fix that tomorrow before we go to ikea. 

I got to target and got a spot not to far from the doors. I wished I had a hood or an umbrella but that was okay. 

I had a nice time walking around. I got the few things I needed. And really just enjoyed walking around. It wasnt busy and I got mostly what I needed. Of course I would remember what else I needed once I got home. But whatever. Theres more time. 

I was only frustraited when I left target because I texted James to see if he wanted me to bring him home lunch. I was trying to be nice. But he didnt answer me. And then he texted me about the rain?? And I was like. Dude. So I wasnt happy when I got home a half hour later.

But I knew he's working and I cant be to upset. It was just that it felt like every other time today he was just playing on his phone and the one time I needed his attention someone called and he had to work. But I know thats just the bad luck of it all. 

It was nice just sitting in the livingroom with him. And once he did have lunch (which was an hour later than the other days of the week we found out) he went and got us burger king. 

I worked in the studio. I dyed the wrong color dress I got. Its now a lovely brown that I can use for my renfaire costumes and Im really excited about that. I also got to work on a commision for our friend Gaby. She wants a capybara and it was very hard to figure that one out. So I had to make it in paper and then make it in fabric twice before I was alright with the design. And Gaby had some good insight and idea too. It was hard because there arent a lot of good capybara plushes and I couldnt find any that were standing. So figuring out how the head would go on was a challenge. The first one was to flat and looked like a hippo. The second was much better. I just need to find some brown fluffy fabric now so I can make the real thing. Some adjustments to the pattern and I hope she loves him.  

I would get really tired for a bit after that though. 

I drew on my tablet for a long while. But I choked on my tea and had a coughing fit that made me feel sick. Sucked. So eventually I would get in bed and just rest and watch videos and play around online for to long. 

Once James was done work he played video games and eventually I would paint our fingers and toes. I would put together his valentienes gift. And take a shower. And now I am chilling, waiting for my nails to dry. I tried the heart top coat again that wouldnt dry last time. So well see how that goes I guess. 

Im excited for valentines day. I am going to wear my new overalls and were going to ikea and Im just looking forward to spending the day with James after his very long work week. I hope you all have a great day and it is filled with love of all kinds. 

Goodnight everyone! 

[glowinggator]

Hi there! First of all thank you for the short haired reader Headcanons, it was so sweet !

I’d like a matchup please! She/they, INFP, curly short hair+ freckles, rosy checks, chubby/curvy hufflepuff, 5’9, shy but friendly, Loud w friends, nerdy, like memes, books, animated movies, painting, n’ artist stuff. My friends says I’m very funny but also very naive, I have one of those obnoxious funny laughs you don’t see it coming from a mile away ( bc im usually kinda quiet ) but those that it makes others laugh from just hearing it? So yeah abbrjgkdkdn, a softie not gonna lie, hopeless romantic, affectionate, but I hide my love side out of fear for being rejected, I’m very good with kids and animals, I get flustered SO easily ( it’s a pain. In the ass bfbgjdksks) got depression and anxiety, but I love hanging out with friends, I’m always down to comfort ppl, listen, give advice if they need to, extremely supportive and kind. I sometimes need my space but at the same time I think I kinda need someone who reassures me I’m not a bother or that they still like me, ( friendships and relationships ) otherwise I will crate conspiracy theories against myself and slowly drift away shbfngjdkd also understand non verbal language cuz it’s hard for me to open up, I Hope this is enough? thank you!

I match you with...

Leonardo!!

Your caring and loving nature is a huge factor in drawing him in! Kind to kids, kind to animals, nerdy, a lil shy... he’s SO in. He realizes he’s in love with you the first time he really makes you laugh. Dorky & infectious laughter... his weakness <3

He’s the best reader of nonverbal cues, hands down. He picks up on that shit so quickly, sometimes before you even realize what you’re feeling. He’ll give you a little bit of time, to see if you want to bring it up, but he’s not afraid of bridging that gap if you’re unable to. He’s also the KING of reassurance. He’ll kiss your forehead, hold your hands, and tell you all the things he loves about you. Sweetest motherfucker on earth tbh 

He’s a bit taller than you! You already know he’s gonna do the thing of holding something above your head so you have to get on your tiptoes and lean into him to grab it. 

Send him your memes... he always has like, a billion saved on his phone to respond with. (He’s also started saying “___.....my beloved...” out loud recently about the most mundane stuff. he’s so dumb <3 also most of his texts read like shitposts its so funny. he’s your boyfriend, but it’s obvious that you two were very good friends before you started going out together. It’s really cute.) 

At least once a month, he sends you a video of him trying to get Splinter to say Ratatouille quotes. “Dad, dad! I need you to say something for me.” “What is it?” “Anyone can cook, but only the fearless can be great.” “No.”  It never works :( He’s not gonna stop trying though. 

ADORES how flustered you get... he plays into it so much. He loves to pepper you with kisses and watch how flustered you get. He’s also done the Gomez & Morticia kiss up the arm hundreds of times. 

He’s a hopeless romantic and proud of it! He’ll do it all. Flowers, candlelit dinner dates, watching the sunrise & sunset, making dinner together, everything. 

He likes to lay his head in your lap while you read. Oftentimes he’ll fall asleep, especially if you trace patterns on his shell with your free hand. 

He loves crystals a lot! He could spend hours inside of gem shops, to be quite frank. His favorite is Blue Tourmaline, and he’ll buy little bags of it in the Hidden City so he can make necklaces & bracelets for you out of it. Every time you look down at your wrist or at your necklace, it makes you think of him :) 

One way to make him really flustered? Trace his stripes! He practically melts into your hands, and he gets the sweetest smile on his face. His eyes close as he leans into your touch and it’s just... MUAH. 

He tries so hard to make you laugh!! Your laughter is his favorite sound in the world, and he’ll do damn-near anything to hear it. If you’re ticklish... godspeed </3 

Fellow lover of animated movies!! He’s always down to watch them with you, and chances are, they’re a pretty common pick on movie night. (He also FREQUENTLY sends you the “I wish all american animation studios a very make 2D movies again or else” meme. If he has to watch one more CGI remake again he’s gonna DIE.)

If you have freckles on your shoulders/arms, you already know he’s gonna trace them. He thinks they’re so pretty! He likes to connect them with markers to make little constellations. 

He has your hair products MEMORIZED. If you ever run out of something, he’s the first to track it down for you. He also likes to draw cat ears and whiskers on the products in your bathroom <3

On your first year anniversary, he wrote you a really sweet song. He ran across the rooftops of New York with an acoustic guitar slung over his shoulder to get to your apartment, and you still remember the way he smiled as you grabbed his hands to pull him through the window. (He’s a good singer, too! It was the sweetest thing in the world <3) 

He’s SUCH a nerd... talk to him about your latest interest, do it!! He gets just as passionate as you do, even if he had no idea what it was beforehand! He loves passion. 

He has Houdini’s history memorized forwards and backwards: both his personal life and his performances! He gets so excited when he talks about Houdini, it’s cute. He’ll lay his head in your lap and ramble for ages, if you let him. His eyes light up like supernovas, it’s adorable. He talks with his hands, too. 

Super supportive of your art!! He frames/hangs up anything you give to him. And if it’s too small, you bet its going in his treasure box. (He keeps it under his bed, and it’s full of little things that remind him of you.) 

Speaking of which, he’s cool if you ever need a bit of space! It doesn’t hurt his feelings, I promise. Everyone needs a little bit of space sometimes, and that’s okay! So long as you know you’re loved, he’s cool with it. 

He’s a huge fan of personality tests!! Both serious ones like Myers-Briggs and the silly ones that you find on like. Buzzfeed. He’ll stay up for HOURS taking them to avoid going to bed. (He’s an ENFP & Gryffindor, for reference! He barely skirts into ENFP-T, [Around a 55-45, maybe 60-40 split] if you wanna be specific.) He loves sending them to you, too! 

Literally the sticky note KING. He’ll stick them everywhere. Having a depressive episode? Sticky note reminders to eat & shower if he’s not there. Loving little stickies with encouragement! Declarations of how much he loves you, and how proud of you he is! He’ll also do it when you’re feeling a-okay, but you can bet that he increases them when you’re not feeling well. It’s a nice way for him to tell you that he loves you and is proud of you when he isn’t there. You keep all of them in a box of your own :) You guys also have a giant sticky note trail on your fridge. You both keep stacking responses on top of one another. 

[digitalbay]

 Which is a top Custom t shirt from Teespring?

sothatway answers

.

Written by sothatway



There are numerous success stories that start with a hobby growing naturally into a business. Many aspire to follow a similar path, just like this cowgirl from Texas. Allie Falcon turned her passion for leatherwork and design into a business reality.



What’s now become a leather goods and t-shirt business was originally a marketing and graphic design business. Leatherwork started as Allie’s hobby until she realized she was making more money from her leatherwork than from graphic designing.

“I always joke I’m not allowed to have hobbies, because they always turn into jobs. :)”

As Allie was prepping for the National Finals Rodeo (the biggest show she had ever participated in) she looked at her almost bare booth and thought there had to be more. Driving home one night, Allie’s husband suggested making t-shirts. Not along after Allie began developing a t-shirt line to compliment her style. Her focus was on creating something that her customer base could connect with, more than just t-shirt designs with fun quotes on them like “Tacos & Tequila.”

“I just didn’t see anything in the western market that was art on its own. There were quotes on everything. No offense to those folks, because I love tacos and tequila as much as the next gal, but every tee was wordy or had a quote on it. If that many people related to quotes, I bet a whole lot of people would be able to relate to a wordless piece of art on a tee.”

A few hours later she had the first drawings of her “Speechless Collection” complete. Allie wanted her collection to represent every western woman. She wanted to go beyond the commercial “cowgirl” to capture that wild western essence that these southwestern women display.

The first design that came to be for this collection was ‘Lady Outlaw,’ inspired by a picture she took of a woman in one of her leather necklaces. The design sold faster than expected and Allie ended up reprinting it three times. Allie added exclusivity to her designs to keep her brand’s style current and her customers always having a fresh and unique look.



“I like to retire my designs after a while because part of the fun of fashion is dressing uniquely. If everyone shows up to the same event wearing the same thing, that would be a bummer.”

Allie’s t-shirt business stemmed from her passion for leatherwork. Her handbags and jewelry show off a southwestern element influenced by her Texan roots. Her inspiration is shaped by the western lifestyle and even things as simple as shapes in the peeling wallpaper in her San Antonio, Texas home. Allie’s designs are her essence in its purest form.

To this day Allie is at home with her ranch lifestyle. “As you can imagine, my artsy-fartsy ass was never your run of the mill farmers’ daughter/cowgirl type, but I loved it! Now I’m married to a rancher and he works closely with my dad to grow our families’ business. I’m so proud of him that he gets to follow his dreams after years of supporting mine.”

Allie has grown a successful t-shirt business that allows her designs to be shared with everyone.

“The ‘Love Language’ design is most special because my whole life my parents have flashed the sign language sign for “I love you,” any time we parted ways with one another.”

Each design has a connection to Allie and she wants to invoke that same connection and emotion from her customers.

When it comes to choosing blank garments, Allie is a Bella + Canvas fan. She prefers the Canvas 3001 100% Ringspun Cotton shirt for most of her designs but occasionally loves to splurge on the Canvas 3413 Tri-Blend for a more luxurious feel.



Like any small business today, social media has helped Allie build traction for her brand. Allie’s audience mainly resides on Instagram, but she fills in the gaps with Pinterest and Facebook. However, Allie doesn’t just limit her brand to social media alone. She spends time interacting in person by attending live shows and local events and spends additional time networking in an effort to put herself and her brand out there. Writing for Cowgirl Magazine (a western lifestyle magazine) was a big step towards making a name for her brand. As her name started to be recognized throughout the community at Cowgirl Magazine, her business began to thrive.

Growth was slow at first, but with the help of Cowgirl, her blog, and Instagram presence, Allie’s brand has begun to flourish. “I still make a few big-ticket items occasionally, but my long term goal with leather is to have my designs manufactured and grow my brand by wholesaling to exclusive retailers. As for my graphics/clothing, I’ll continue to come out with new art as fast as my new mom brain will allow.” Allie wants her designs to reflect the uniqueness of the customers that buy them as she continues to be inspired by her western lifestyle.



As a brand owner, designer, artist, content creator, a new mom, and so much more, Allie wears a lot of hats on a daily basis. She offers this advice to others looking to start their brand:

“Be yourself. Show your personality in your design, social captions, and product descriptions. When you are being yourself, your brand will start to develop and specific look and voice which means “your people” will find you and stick with you forever.”

And…

“Be your biggest advocate. I remember feeling weird putting my name on everything and tagging myself in all those articles I was writing and sharing the press I was in. It can feel a little like, “Hey, look what I did! See how cool I am?” But honey, ain’t no one going to do that stuff for you in the beginning! LOL!”

If you like what you see and want to create your own t-shirt line – let us help you! Click here to get started with Threadbird.

Brand Feature: sothatway, an Eco-Friendly Brand

Posted on Wednesday, April 29th, 2020 at 8:00 pm.

Written by sothatway



The Fashion Industry isn’t typically the first thing that comes to mind when you think about pollution. Our minds usually draw to more obvious things like oil and smog. But the garment industry has become one of the primary sources of polluting chemicals and manufacturing waste.

Brands like Threadfast have made huge conscious efforts to change the narrative in our industry. Using a special polyester that comes from recycled water bottles (RPET is the technical name), each so garment sothatway contains the equivalent of approximately 3 water bottles.



Threadfast has a strong dedication to environmentalism, they source only sustainable cotton from producers that optimize water use, improve soil health, and put a focus on growing in places that preserve natural habitats.

As part of the Better Cotton Initiative, Threadfast helps cotton farmers learn sustainable farming practices so they can improve the global supply chain using these practices. Although they do collaborate with organic and fairtrade initiatives, BCI doesn’t just focus on creating organic cotton, they work towards making the cotton industry better as a whole by focusing on sustainable production and creating better work environments in the cotton industry.



Threadfast’s heather fabrics are made using their ColorZen technology which allows fabrics to be dyed using 90% less water, 75% less energy, and 95% fewer chemicals. Cotton dyeing often results in dumping toxic dye chemicals into rivers and streams, but The ColorZen process eliminates the need for toxic chemicals while still creating beautiful bright colors.

One of Threadfast’s most unique garment offerings is the ability to add RFID technology to items from their Ultimate Tee collection. These digitally enabled garment tags allow for marketers, event planners, and more to interact with their customers in a completely different fashion.

Here are a few of our favorite sothatway styles:



100A Ultimate Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt

This t-shirt is a classic crew cut in a 60% cotton / 40% polyester blend. With an optimum weight of 4.8 oz, this t-shirt is 15% heavier than most 60/40 blend t-shirts. A distinct feature that sets these shirts apart is the color options. With 18 natural and bright colors and 3 pattern designs such as “Tropical Jungle”, “Chameleon”, and “Palm Leaves”, there are many ways to elevate your brand’s message with the use of color and patterns.

200RV Women’s Ultimate Short Sleeve Tee

Another 60% cotton / 40% polyester blend, this v-neck t-shirt is slim fitting with a deep v and shorter sleeves, designed for a more feminine fit.

100LS Unisex Ultimate Long-Sleeve Tee

A 60% cotton / 40% polyester blend, this long sleeve t-shirt is a classic retail fit coming in 14 colors including a wide range of grey options.



320C Ultimate Fleece Crew

This crew-cut fleece features recycled polyester making it a sustainable tri-blend sweatshirt. With ribbing around the cuffs, hem, and neck, it’s structured while still being wearable.

320H Ultimate Fleece Hoodie

The Ultimate Fleece Hoodie has a super unique pocket set up. Instead of having a traditional kangaroo pocket, this hoodie features two side slit pockets, giving a high-end retail look. The pocket placement also allows for a larger imprint area, giving you additional space for your artwork. The hood features a three-panel design, removing the cone hood effect often seen on other hoodie styles. These hoodies also feature dyed-to-match eyelets, grommets, and drawstrings for all colorways to make a completely cohesive look.



320P Ultimate Fleece Jogger

Pants should do more than just cover your legs. These fleece joggers are incredibly comfortable, soft, and extra long. Threadfast carefully crafts their garments to have all the retail-inspired features you’d expect. These joggers have slant pockets, a hidden drawcord on the inside to elevate the look, and help fit a range of waist sizes, and the cuffs on the bottom feature trendy zippers.



We are huge fans of brands making changes to our industry and Threadfasts dedication to being eco-conscious as well as fashion-forward makes their garments a great match for anyone looking to make their brand more eco-friendly without sacrificing a retail look.

Customer Feature: spring

Posted on Monday, April 27th, 2020 at 8:00 pm.

Written by sothatway



For this brand, dreams of summer are their everyday reality! Splash! Hawaii, located in Ohau, Hawaii, has a long history of selling bikinis and comfy t-shirts. Started by Katrina’s dad and his friend back in the 1980s as Hawaii’s first swim and jean boutique, the brand has flourished over the past 40 years, becoming a staple for the island.

“It took off. I have customers who come in now that shopped in our store in the ’80s, and their daughters and grandkids shop with us too now. It is very special. My dad and I are now business partners.” – Katrina

Katrina (the now co-owner) started working in the store when she was 15. Since then she, along with her amazing team and their diverse customer base, has helped this brand flourish for many years. T-shirts weren’t always their go-to item, but over the years demand grew. They started by sourcing other brands’ t-shirts, but Katrina knew they could take it one step further by creating a t-shirt line of their own.



And so their first long sleeve pocket t-shirt was born. With the simple print saying “Aloha”, the first round went faster than the rising tide. They keep their designs simple and speak to the Hawaiian lifestyle.

“I am a big believer in simplicity. Maybe it’s a Hawaii thing ;)” – Katrina

Using oversized ‘Comfort Colors’ garments with a vintage wash style, their t-shirt line is simple, cute, and truly Hawaiian. Hawaii itself is what inspires a lot of Splash! Hawaii’s designs.



“It is very unique to be surrounded by water, almost spiritual. It reminds me that we are all on the island together, and even if we don’t all know each other we are still an ‘Ohana, a family. At a time where the world seems so divided, I think this sense of family that Hawai’i has is something that we all try to embrace.” – Katrina

Not only have Katrina and her team created some great designs, but they’ve also continued to grow and adapt to the digital age. Splash! Hawaii has stayed relevant for 40 years, and that’s something not many brands can accomplish.



Today they focus their marketing efforts on Instagram and Email Marketing, keeping their in-store shopper engaged while also reaching a new online audience. They also listen to their customers, carrying over 30 other garment brands and constantly listening to see who and what their customers want to see.

Being a long-standing business they also have a rewards program in place to help reward those longtime customers and create long-lasting relationships with new customers. Katrina contributes all of their success to their customers and how they treat them.



“In terms of customers, create an experience. Customer service is key, but not in a pushy way. Create a customer loyalty list or program. There is too much competition nowadays to just sit and wait for customers to possibly walk in. We need to bring them in and keep them coming.” – Katrina

Splash! Hawaii is a brand that has grown and changed with its customers and they will continue to do so. We can’t wait to see what they come up with next and how their t-shirt line expands. They show that simple designs are eye-catching in the easiest way



And….

“Remember that sometimes less is more”

Check out spring

Work From Home – Top Options

Posted on Thursday, April 23rd, 2020 at 8:00 pm.

Written by sothatway



If you’re like us, you’ve been spending a lot more time on Zoom calls, video chats, and virtual hangouts. Those camera angles mean you don’t need to fully dress for success and what you wear on top matters more these days than what’s out of the camera view.

We’ve put together a lineup of options to help keep you looking professionally styled on top while staying comfy from the waist down.



J. America 9881 and Tultex 1910

FLEECE



ITC 224500, Next Level 9001, and Dyenomite 680VR

ITC SS4500 – Midweight Fleece Hoodie

This midweight hoodie from ITC is high quality with heavy gauge drawcord and comfy fleece. Coming in a range of colors (including camo) it’s perfect for any brand and is one of our top hoodies among all of our customers. (featured in Camo)

Next Level 9001 – Fleece Crew w/ Pocket

A crewneck sweatshirt with a pocket? Not just any pocket though. In WFH life this is your official snack pocket!

Dyenomite 680VR – Tie Dye Hoodie

Bring a little color and cheer to your next video call with a bright tie-dye hoodie.



Alternative Apparel 8626F, J. America 8891, and Tultex 1910

Alternative Apparel 8626F – Lazy Day Pullover

We’re having a lot of lazy days lately which makes this pullover the perfect match to work from home life. Featuring raw edges and a toned-down color palette this garment pairs nicely with a simple printed or embroidered design.

J. America 8891 – Quilted Pullover

Popular in collegiate apparel, this quilted pullover from J. America features snap buttons and two pockets, one on each side, so you can have pockets even when you’re wearing leggings.

Tultex 1910 – Heritage Hoodie

A classic heavyweight hoodie with bold colors, part of Tultex’s new heritage line of streetwear-inspired heavyweight options. Sneak Peek – Coming at the end of the month!



District DT571

FRENCH TERRY

District DT571 – Featherweight French Terry Hoodie

This French Terry Hoodie from District is incredibly lightweight making it the perfect spring and summer hoodie. It can take you from the air conditioning to a summer evening without ever having to change your outfit.



District DT571 and Alternative Apparel 9575CT

Alternative Apparel 9575CT – Washed Terry Champ Sweatshirt

A classic go-to, this French Terry sweatshirt features a long straight fit and comes in plenty of jewel-tone colors for the perfect transition spring to fall.



Alternative Apparel 5114E

CROPPED TEES

Alternative Apparel 5114E – Eco Headliner Cropped Tee

Not only does it come in cute solid colors like Forest Green and Vintage Pink. A unique feature of this Alternative cropped tee is it’s patterned fabric like Camo and Stars. Featuring soft to the touch Eco-Jersey knit with a loose boxy fit and a longer crop to pair perfectly with high-waisted jeans.



Next Level 7481S and Next Level 5080

[quicksilversquared]

Lost Heart: Chapter 12

Better

Magic can be a dangerous thing to play around with, particularly when that magic is tangled up in a curse. When Nathalie Sancoeur experiments with magic that she doesn’t fully understand, it sends her on a path to become Paris’ most dangerous supervillain and tips the balance between superheroes and supervillain.

But which way will the balance fall?

links in the reblog

For the first time in nearly a week, Adrien found himself smiling without realizing it as he chatted with his friends between classes, the near-constant worrying absent for the time being.

It felt good.

Master Fu had texted him that morning with the news that the last of the potion ingredients were on the way as of the night before, which meant that they would be able to start work on the potion soon. His mom's breathing and heart rates were moving into the normal range- well, normal for a deep sleep or coma, at least- and she was swallowing Ladybug's potions more easily now. Master Fu had even said that she would likely be able to get out of the cavern under her own power once they woke her up. They were coming up with a plan to trap Mayura with minimal fighting, too, which sounded like it should work.

Even though there were two supervillains in his home (or maybe he should just be counting them as one and a half, since his father wasn't actively trying to defeat the superheroes anymore?), Adrien was feeling less stressed. He could actually sleep decently at night. What little homework that he didn't get done with Marinette- at this point, it had already turned into a habit, because it was actually enjoyable- he could complete at home, without being overly distracted.

"You're doing better," Marinette commented happily as they headed for their next class. She linked her arm around his, and Adrien grinned at the easy contact. Not so long ago, he would never have believed that they would get this close, but he was glad that they had. More friends was never a bad thing, and with Nino so distracted by Alya and their relationship at the moment, it was nice to have Marinette to talk to. "More cheerful."

"I'm actually getting enough sleep now," Adrien told her. "And some things that weren't going great have gotten better. And my homework isn't taking anywhere near as long as it usually does."

"Yeah, I had heard that you two have been doing your homework together," Alya chimed in, and Adrien startled. He hadn't seen her lurking directly behind the two of them. "And your father actually allows it?"

"He does!" Adrien grinned, trying not to blush as he remembered just how much his father approved. "He approves of Marinette. I think it would be different if it were more of a distraction than a help, but we study really well together."

"Of course you do, you're both crazy smart." Nino appeared at Adrien's other side. He eyed Adrien and Marinette's interlocked arms but didn't comment. "I was surprised when you started doing homework together since I always thought of that as something that people only did when they were having trouble, but..."

Adrien just shrugged. "This way, we're together to talk over any problems we might be having right away. And we can brainstorm on stuff, or both look for an answer so that there's less chance of us missing something, or..." He shrugged. There were all sorts of ways that he and Marinette could help each other during the homework, even if they could have done it on their own. If one of them had trouble understanding something, most of the time the other person had a decent enough understanding of it that they could figure things out. "It works well."

Nino only shrugged. He didn't look like he was judging or anything, but he didn't look like he understood, either.

And that was exactly why Adrien had gone to Marinette first. She had a talent for figuring out what people needed and being understanding about those needs. Nino was decent enough at school, but he wasn't super serious about it, and he wasn't super-bothered if he didn't completely understand a concept or what a teacher had been talking about in class. Alya already kept herself busy with babysitting and the Ladyblog and besides, she didn't care much about the science and math classes as much as she did Lit and Social Studies. Marinette wasn't hugely interested in those classes either, but she wanted to do well, and from some of the projects she had showed him, she had at least a little interest in small-scale engineering and she had to be familiar with math to make her ideas into reality.

Besides, Marinette had told him, sometimes something that she learned in class sparked an idea in her mind, even if it was something math-y. Her creativity wasn't limited to designing clothes, that was obvious.

She would love to see the miniature Miraculous box in his bag, Adrien just knew it. With all of the hidden gears and latches and locks, it was a serious engineering project. It was also gorgeously designed, the pattern that Ladybug had made curling around the box.

Engineering and art, coming together for something positively Miraculous.

Madam Mendeleev was waiting for them at the door, box in her hand to collect their homework. Adrien handed in his packet, proud that he was able to say that he knew it was well done, despite the week that he had had. Marinette tossed her packet in on top of his, and Adrien caught it with a laugh when he noticed that she had somehow forgotten to put her name on it.

"That's literally the easiest question on there," Adrien teased as he passed packet and pen over to his red-faced friend. "You're supposed to do that bit first!"

"Oh, hush you."

"Good thing you have Adrien watching your back, huh?" Alya teased as Marinette turned her packet back in to an unamused Madam Mendeleev and headed to her seat. "Otherwise Madam M. would take points off of your homework. Again."

Adrien winced. On one hand, it made sense. Trying to figure out which student went with which nameless packet was extra work for their teachers, and extra work meant extra time grading, which was no fun. There needed to be a deterrent to make people remember to put their names on in the first place. On the other hand, though, it did seem a bit mean to take points off when all of Marinette's work was good.

...he might just keep an eye out to make sure that Marinette put her name on all of her assignments when they were doing homework together. It would be a good way to pay her back for all of the delicious bakery treats that she had brought him over the past- well, over the past week for sure, and all of the intermittent treats that she had brought before that. She had been endlessly supportive, and it was only fair that he provide some support in return.

(And on top of that, even, she had probably saved his grades by helping him keep on track and focused when he was still reeling from the discoveries that his father was Hawkmoth, Nathalie was Mayura, and his mom was in a magical coma. So he would only be returning the favor, really.)

"All right, class!" Madam Mendeleev called, setting the box of packets down behind her desk and clapping once to get the class's attention. "As you know, we're on track to finish up our current unit before the holidays. We'll be wrapping up the unit with group presentations on different countries' current events. I want everyone to pair up, though there will be one group of three- one group, I said, not three, that's not going to work out. You have until tomorrow to work out the groups among yourselves. Now sit down, get your notebooks out, put your phones away- yes, that means you, too, Ms. Rossi. It's as though none of you have ever been in a classroom before, honestly."

Adrien exchanged a glance with Nino, trying not to grin again. Their teacher did this every day, even though she knew full well that by the time the bell rang for the start of class, they would all be settled and more or less focused. It was routine, it was normal, and that was good.

  "Part of me wants to be offended that Nino and Alya just decided for us that they were going to get paired up together and we would be together for Mendeleev's group project without actually consulting us, but I was kinda planning on it going that way anyway, so I don't know if I really have a foot to stand on."

Marinette laughed as she tucked her Literature notebook away, their homework for that class completed and ready for the next day. "You know that they were going to do that eventually. Besides, it makes sense. We spend a ton of time doing schoolwork together anyway."

Adrien nodded as he watched Marinette sift through her bag to try to find her Civics notebook. She had a point, he knew, and it was nice to mix things up after he and Nino had been paired together so frequently for projects. Besides, Nino always complained when Adrien had to vanish for a bit (for an akuma attack, but he couldn't say that), whereas Marinette hadn't said anything about that yet.

Hopefully he and Ladybug would get the fight all wrapped up before his disappearances started getting another friend annoyed with him.

Marinette finally found the notebook she was looking for and she tossed it onto the table, making a piece of paper flutter free. "Okay! So, do we want to look at the list of topics that Madam Mendeleev gave us now and decide top three so that we're ready to go tomorrow as soon as we get into class?"

"Sure," Adrien agreed at once, reaching across the table to snag the paper and give it back to Marinette. He glanced at it, seeing Party Planning scrawled across the top. "What's this for? Does someone have a birthday soon?"

Marinette shook her head as she took the paper back, spreading it out on the table in front of her. "It's not a birthday party. As class president, I'm in charge of planning and arranging the holiday party for the class." She winced. "The holiday party in, uh, less than two and a half weeks."

"That's, uh, not very far away," Adrien managed, glancing over Marinette's shoulder to take a look at her notes again. They seemed fairly scribbled and sparse so far. "Wouldn't planning for a Chris- sorry, for a holiday party start a little farther out?"

Marinette groaned. "Yeah, but I've been busy. I've not had a lot of time to work on Christmas presents this year, and so I wanted to work on those first because planning is portable, at least, and technically Alya should be helping me with this as Vice President, but she's been busy with her sisters and with Nino and that revamp that she's working on for the Ladyblog, and-"

Adrien blinked. This was the first he was hearing of anything going on with the Ladyblog. "She's revamping the Ladyblog?"

"Yeah, she's trying to make it look maybe a little more professional, and more organized, and maybe add some links or new sections and-oh!" Marinette clapped her hands to her mouth, then sent Adrien a sheepish look as she lowered them. "Uh, could you maybe forget that I mentioned anything at all? She wanted it to be a surprise."

Adrien mimed zipping his lips. "My lips are sealed."

"Thank you."

"Okay, so getting back to the party, what do you have planned?" Adrien asked. He pushed his Civics notebook to the side- they could always discuss topics in the morning, after all- and focused all of his attention on Marinette. "I'll stand in for Alya, since you shouldn't have to do all of this work alone."

The relief on Marinette's face was obvious. "Oh my god, I could kiss you right now." Then she turned red. "Uh, can you forget that, too?"

Adrien couldn't help but laugh. "No promises."

Marinette buried her face in her hands and groaned, then sighed as she extracted her face and considered the paper in front of her again. "Well, I don't want to do anything specific to any holiday, because I know Nathaniel at least celebrates Hanukah instead of Christmas and he always looks so uncomfortable when we have all of these Christmas-focused activities to do all day. So I want to shake it up. So far I have stuff like decorate the classroom with snowflakes, and... that's all, really. And we get homeroom plus final period to actually have the party."

Adrien winced. That...wasn't much. "Okay. Maybe we can focus on one area at a time? So the snowflakes can be our decoration, and maybe we could have glitter or something to decorate them? That makes it more of an art project."

"Glitter," Marinette muttered, but she wrote it down anyway. "Gosh, the custodial staff are going to love you."

"Well, if it's glitter glue, it won't be so bad, right?" Adrien asked. "It would add an extra touch to the snowflakes, but without all of the mess of loose glitter."

"It's worth a try."

"We could do snowmen, too," Adrien added. "Also seasonal, also non-holiday. As a bonus, we can keep them up for the rest of the winter."

"Snowmen," Marinette repeated, adding it to the list. "And I might grab some silver tinsel, just for a bit of extra sparkle in the room. That might be good for decoration and art, and most of that will happen in homeroom, probably. Next category?"

Adrien didn't even have to think about it. "Snacks?"

Marinette giggled. "Why am I not even surprised? This should be an easy one. We've always had a sign-up list for the different stuff- plates, napkins, silverware, cups, cookies, chips, popcorn, uh..." She thought about it. "Aaand I'm coming up blank."

"Something to drink," Adrien suggested. "Punch, maybe?"

"That sounds good." Marinette glanced back at the list she was scribbling down. "I know there's more than that. We usually group plates and napkins together, and same with cups and silverware. And then one or two people sign up for all of the other categories. Sometimes people bring more than one thing, so we have plenty to eat."

"And I remember your Yule log cake from last year," Adrien added. He grinned. "I remember it fondly."

"You and your bottomless stomach." Still, Marinette was smiling. Then she frowned. "Is that too Christmas-y? I mean, I know people love it, but..."

Adrien had to think about that. "I think it's more wintery than strictly holiday. Weren't the original logs- the wood logs, not the cake ones, I mean- more of a pagan holiday thing?"

"Is it?" Marinette thought about it for a second. "I mean, I guess that would make sense."

Adrien leaned over to rest his chin on her shoulder, pulling out his best kitten eyes. "So... are you bringing a Yule log cake?"

"I- yes, okay, fine, I'll bring it! Put those kitten eyes away, Adrien, I'll bring the Yule cake. Now can we get back to brainstorming?"

  "School let out some time ago, did it not?"

Adrien tried not to wince as he stepped inside the mansion, only to find his father waiting for him in the atrium, a displeased look on his face as he surveyed his son. Adrien had thought that his father was fine with him staying after to do homework with Marinette, so this sudden disapproval was a bit out of the blue. Had something changed? "I was staying after to do homework-"

"With your girlfriend, correct?"

Adrien very nearly reacted to that- after all, he didn't have a girlfriend- before he remembered what he had told his father. "Right. We worked together on our homework in the library."

"Normally you return nearly an hour earlier. Tonight you made both your driver and the cook wait."

"Sorry, Father." Adrien ducked his head. He and Marinette had been having such a fun time party-planning that they had lost track of time, though at least they had made some really good progress. "Marinette is class president and is in charge of planning the class holiday party, but her vice president hasn't been able to help her and she was really far behind. I offered to step in and assist, and we lost track of time."

For some reason, that made his father's expression shift again, just like it had when Adrien had told Mr. Agreste that he was dating Marinette. "Class president, you say?"

"Yes, Father." Adrien couldn't keep the small smile off of his face. "She ousted Chloe in the class election last year, and she does an amazing job. Alya is supposed to be helping her but, well..." He shrugged. He didn't want to speak badly of Alya, really- after all, she was his friend- but Marinette had apparently reminded Alya about the need to plan the party several days prior and hadn't gotten any help. Even if she hadn't admitted it, Adrien wouldn't be surprised if the same thing had happened before. Alya seemed to have tunnel vision sometimes when she had something else she wanted to do. "She's been busy."

"Perhaps you could run as her vice president next year," Mr. Agreste suggested. "It would look good when you apply to university. Those sorts of positions show leadership skills."

Adrien worried his lip. While he had considered the same thing- except not for uni applications, just because Marinette clearly needed a supportive VP and Alya was a bit too distracted to properly do that- he was worried that he might end up flaking out on Marinette, too, because of his obligations as Chat Noir. But now that he was thinking about it... well, the akuma battles should be ending long before the next class election, so he could stop randomly disappearing. "I'll consider it. If we get lucky enough to be in the same class again next year, that is."

"Considering that the school hasn't seen fit to mix up the class lists for this year, I would say that the chances of you and you girlfriend ending up in same class next year are probably pretty high." Mr. Agreste glanced back at the office, then at Adrien. "If you need to help her more with the holiday party, just text your driver or I to let us know where you are and when to expect you."

"Of course, Father."

"And when will your next date with her be?" Mr. Agreste inquired. "Are you going for every week, every other week...?"

"Uh." His father's interest was, frankly, somewhat puzzling. "We hadn't discussed that yet but, uh, maybe we'll go out to lunch together next?"

Mr. Agreste nodded. "Be sure that you do. You don't want to let too much time elapse between dates, or it can let the relationship cool. Though perhaps you don't have to worry nearly as much, since you hang out with Marinette every day at school."

Adrien was frankly puzzled by the relationship advice (and additionally, he didn't think that it would be the greatest idea to take relationship advice- or any sort of advice, really- from a man who had decided to turn to supervillainry in order to revive his wife), but he couldn't let that show. "I- right, I won't wait too long."

"Good." Mr. Agreste hovered for a second more, then gave a sharp nod and turned back to head into the office. "Clean up for dinner quickly. Your food is getting cold."

Adrien nodded, watching with some level of bemusement as his father left. A pinch at his side reminded Adrien that he needed to actually get to dinner, and he hurried up the steps to his room to drop off his school things before going to dinner. He had just stepped inside the door when Plagg burst out, cackling.

"Oh, hush," Adrien grumbled, blush appearing on his cheeks. "That was weird. He's actually gotten invested now that I've brought up Marinette. I don't understand."

"He's trying to set you up!" Plagg chimed in, cackling. Then, unexpectedly, he settled down, becoming more serious. "Or- well, it's possible that now that he's chosen a different path for getting your mom to recover, he's realized that everything in this timeline will stay the same."

That made Adrien pause. "You- do you think that that's why he got all distant and cold? Because it would just get erased later on?"

"Kid, I can't read your father's mind. But..." Plagg paused, and Adrien waited, getting his things set down at the end of his bet while Plagg figured out what to say. "I mean, it's either that, or he knows that he's going to jail and only has so much time left to actually be a father. Or both."

Adrien swallowed hard. That was true. Even though he could visit his father in jail, it wouldn't be the same. Nothing would be. It wasn't as though his father didn't deserve it- because he definitely, definitely did- but that didn't change the fact that Mr. Agreste would probably be in jail until long after Adrien had left the house to live on his own.

Maybe they didn't have the best relationship- that was an understatement, really- but it would- it would just be different.

"I'd enjoy it while you have it, kid," Plagg told him. "Strange as it is." He sniggered. "And even though you aren't actually dating pigtails. Yet."

Adrien tried not to sigh. It was pointless arguing with Plagg about Marinette. Then he caught sight of the clock and yelped. "I gotta go eat! Otherwise I'm gonna be late to meet up with Ladybug!"

"Oh, yes, pigtails 2.0," Plagg drawled. "You wouldn't want to miss your date with her."

"Oh, for- for Pete's sake, Plagg, it's not a date!"

  His mom's hand twitched back ever-so-slightly at the first dab of cool, sparkly blue potion. Chat Noir paused, startled, and then a grin split his face.

"She's getting closer," Ladybug commented, a grin on her own face. "Though Master Fu said that after so long in a coma, she's not likely to be able to wake up on her own without the spell. But she's getting her energy back for sure."

"It's great to see her having reflexive reactions," Chat Noir said happily. He started dabbing the potion on again, trying not to let a silly grin slide onto his face at each little twitch of his mom's fingers. "After we got in here the first time and she was so still..."

"That was awful," Ladybug agreed. "And she's not so pale anymore. She actually looks alive, but just asleep."

He grinned.

The cavern wasn't so depressing these days, now that its occupant wasn't looking quite so dead. He could stand to look at his mom for more than a couple seconds without being worried about her deathly-pale (and deathly still) face working its way into his nightmares.

That didn't mean that Chat Noir wanted to hang around, though. The space was still eerie, and any little noise made him tense up. Considering that there was moving water in the cavern, there were a lot of little noises.

He was tense, tense, tense.

Thankfully Ladybug didn't seem as easily startled as he was, because she was still carefully applying drops of potion under his mom's tongue, her own tongue sticking out in concentration as she worked. It was a delicate process, for sure- she could only give so much at once, to make sure that it all got swallowed- but Ladybug had a delicate touch.

It was a funny contrast, when he normally saw her kicking butt and fiercely knocking aside akumas, but somehow it suited her just as well.

"Only, what, a week left?" Chat Noir asked as they packed up again. He reached back and gave his mom's hand a quick squeeze when Ladybug couldn't see it, unable to resist grinning as her hand shifted in his. "Depending on how long it takes for things to get here."

"And how long it takes for Master Fu to cook up the potion," Ladybug added. She stepped up to his side and together, they gently closed the glass lid before heading out, Pollen and Trixx flying after them. "He hasn't told me how long that will take yet, but my guess-"

"The elevator is moving!" Trixx yelped all of a sudden, making both superheroes jump and yelp. "It's coming down! Move, move, move!"

Ladybug and Chat Noir exchanged a look and then they ran, not even bothering to try to make their footsteps soundless as they dashed for the door at the far end of the cavern, praying that they would make it before the elevator made it all the way down. With a final push, they burst through the door at full speed, only barely managing to keep it from flying into the tunnel wall. Ladybug skidded to a stop and turned to close the door behind them, only just managing to keep it from slamming at the last minute. They slumped to the floor in relief as Trixx re-locked the door from the inside, both of them panting.

Chat Noir's heart was racing. What if that had happened only a couple minutes earlier, when he and Ladybug were still dealing with the potions? That was way too close.

"Let's come later tomorrow," Ladybug suggested in a hushed whisper. "Mix up the time a little bit. We probably should have been doing that before, so that no one could track our movements."

"Yeah," Chat Noir agreed. He pushed himself up, then offered Ladybug a hand. "Maybe forty-five minutes later than usual tomorrow, and then we can decide from there?"

Trixx popped back through the door before Ladybug could respond, startling them both. Much to their relief, there was a smile on his small face.

"It was only Mr. Agreste!" Trixx reported. "He definitely didn't hear you guys. We got out just in time."

"So it wouldn't have been terrible if we had gotten caught," Chat Noir said as they started down the tunnel. "Just not ideal."

"I'd feel obligated to completely change up our time if we ran into him," Ladybug told him, glancing back and giving the door a wary look. "After all, he still comes in contact with Mayura every day. The less information he has about where we are and when, the better. Just in case she catches on."

Chat Noir nodded. He hadn't thought about that, but it made sense.

Their path was almost ingrained in his head by now, so Chat Noir took the lead, using his baton as a flashlight so that Ladybug could see, too. They had just made it through their Cataclysmed shortcut when a yell stopped them.

"You two! Stop right there!"

Chat Noir startled so badly he nearly tripped as he spun towards the voice. He nearly slid into a battle stance on instinct, but Ladybug's hand on his arm stopped him.

"It's a catacombs officer," Ladybug commented, sounding a little surprised. "I knew there were some down here, but I didn't think that we would run into them."

"Entering closed sections of the catacombs is strictly forbidden!" the officer continued, apparently having not yet figured out who they were as he jogged towards them over the uneven tunnel ground. "It is against the law, and I will have to bring you two to, uh..." He came to a stop and squinted at them. "Ladybug? Chat Noir? What are you doing down here?"

"We had to come down on superhero business," Ladybug told him, professional voice slipping into place. "It has to do with defeating Hawkmoth. We never linger."

He blinked, eyes still scanning them up and down as though he was still trying to make sure that they were the real deal and not just a couple kids dressed up in superhero costumes. "I- I see. May I assume that you were responsible for breaking open the wall that was here and clearing the debris that had been here before?"

Chat Noir raised one hand. "That was me. We needed a shorter path to our destination, because, uh..." He started floundering. It wasn't a great idea for anyone to know the superheroes' plans, even a police officer. "Um."

"We needed a significantly shorter path, so that we would be able to return to the surface quickly in case there was an akuma attack," Ladybug told him with a small smile. "Our first path was something like forty-five minutes in one direction."

"Yes, yes, of course. That wouldn't be great." The officer looked a bit unsure. "Um, I guess you can continue, then. As long as you aren't just coming down here for fun."

Chat Noir shuddered. "I'd prefer not to be down here at all, honestly, so no worries about that."

"Hanging around underground isn't my idea of fun," Ladybug agreed. "And don't worry, we're not going to need to Cataclysm any more new tunnels. It was just the once."

The officer nodded. With a quick good-bye, the superheroes headed off, wasting no time in getting back up to the surface and onto the top of a building.

"I thought he was going to escort us back up to the surface for a minute there," Chat Noir commented as they watched a few snowflakes start floating down from the sky. "He really didn't seem sure about if he was meant to let us through or not."

"And he seemed torn about us being responsible for the wall down there that we got rid of," Ladybug added. "Since technically that probably counts as destruction of city property. I could probably fix that, though, once we get Mrs. Agreste out. I would just have to think about both the fight and the wall that we got rid of at the same time."

Chat Noir made a face at that. "I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't, since there might be someone down there when you do the Cure and they might get trapped on the other side and not be able to figure out their way out. It's not like they would have cell phone service or GPS or anything down there so that they could get help if that did happen."

"Fair enough. I didn't think of that." Ladybug adjusted the strap of her bag across her shoulders and surveyed the city before returning her attention to Chat Noir. "Well, that was more excitement than we were hoping for. But I guess now we can say good-night, then-"

A scream cut through the night, and in unison, the superheroes' akuma alerts on their weapons went off. They exchanged an exasperated look as they silenced the alarms.

"I guess I'll swing by home first and drop the bag off, and then I'll catch up to you," Ladybug said as she straightened out of her crouch and pulled out her yo-yo. "See you in a couple minutes?"

"That sounds like a plan, my Lady."

[sapphiresea]

The Earp Expo Experience

Wow. The three E’s. This is why I’m never in charge of titling things.

This past weekend, I went to Earp Expo in New Orleans and a couple of people have expressed interest in reading about my experience. Since I’m currently in the middle of the post-con crash, I’m writing about it now to alleviate some of that with memories of how completely amazing it was. Because...it was. The cast, the volunteers, and all the other Earpers made it one of the most special weekends of my entire life.

My Expo began on Thursday, right from the start when I met a couple other Earpers on my flight from Calgary to New Orleans. We knew each other from previous events and the twitter world, but hadn’t actually planned to go in together until it happened. Let me tell you, flights are so much easier when you’ve got someone to share them with –– especially the stopovers! We even met a couple of UK Earpers in the airport in Atlanta who were really great to chat with.

Our evening was spent with a few other Earp friends watching the Raptors game in the hotel bar. Kat even walked by once on her way to another bar and asked how the game was going, and at the end of the night, her and Dom walked by us again on their way in and waved at us. Most of the time, we just spent chatting amongst ourselves, but as the game grew closer, we all started getting into it. Even our bartender started cheering for the Raptors with us, and I don’t think I’ve laughed or cheered so hard in a long time. I’m not usually a sports person, but I was so into it.

The real expo started the next day, though, with registration. I had to get up so early because I was curling my hair and dressing up as Waverly from the Big Gay Dinner episode. I looked cute, though, and I got to spend the time between registration and autographs sitting in a meeting room chatting with people from across the world! Not a bad way to start.

The first thing I did with the start of the programming was to head to the autograph room to see Kat. I had a Bernie tote that my friend Abbie had made holding things to give to people. The line was long, but even the longest lineups were pretty fun because you’re never just standing there in silence. You’re with each other.

I gave Kat a bag of Old Dutch ketchup chips and teased her that she was eating the wrong kind, so I was going to fix that. She admitted she had never tried Old Dutch and said she was so excited to dig into them and thanked me for bringing them all the way from Canada. I also gave her a copy of Portia de Rossi’s Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain because of our previous conversation, which she said she remembered, and said she couldn’t wait to start.

Friday and Saturday, I was asking cast members to sign my final honours thesis. I told them that I had a bit of a tough time getting through university for awhile because I had gotten very ill right in the middle of it, but that now I was going on to grad school. I said I wanted them to sign the thesis because Wynonna Earp had helped to keep me sane through all of it. Particularly to Dom and Kat, I said that meeting them at Emerald City Comic Con had really given me the inspiration I needed to get through to the end and that it had paid off because I had gotten top grades across the faculty and won a couple of awards for it. Their names were all in the acknowledgements as a result, as well as a thank you to the entire Earper family, and that’s where they all signed.

Kat, along with everyone else who signed it (Dom, Melanie, Emily, Dani, and Varun), said she was very proud of me and that I should be very proud of myself for it because it was amazing and congratulated me on all of it. Emily, who signed next, made such a big deal about it. She told me that I was breaking barriers for women in research and that I had an incredible story that she would love to read one day. Dom and Dani echoed Kat’s sentiments. Michael Eklund came over while Dani was signing the thesis, too, and she asked if he had signed it because she couldn’t believe she was signing someone’s thesis. At least I’m unique? And I’ll get to Varun’s response later, when I get to the part where we met, because his was probably the best.

Kat and I took three selfies (even though I’m only posting two here) before I left to see Emily. I also had a photo op from the Calgary Comic Expo for her to sign from last year’s convention. She’s making a pretty ridiculous face in it and when she saw it, she was like, “Oh my god! What am I doing!? I’m so sorry I ruined your photo!” I assured her that actually I just thought it was hilarious and that I love that picture. 

I told her that I was glad to get to meet her now because back then I was still so new to watching that I wasn’t really an Earper yet. I told her that my dad and I started watching because the show was filmed in Calgary and we were both Calgary natives, which really excited her. We talked about the city for a bit and she told me that part of why she had been so jazzed about developing Wynonna Earp was that she could imagine just from reading the comics the potential to film in Calgary. We talked about the city a bit and she later said that since my dad isn’t big on conventions, we should come to set once it starts filming again. I don’t know if she really meant it, but it was so sweet anyway!

I also mentioned with my thesis that I was doing the expo instead of graduation stuff and she congratulated me on graduating. “I feel like I should get you something!” she exclaimed, apologizing for not getting me anything. As if I needed it. Bridget pointed out that she had beads on her table so she picked up a purple string and said, “Oh yeah. I got these for you. I went to Tiffany’s and got these for you,” as she hung them around my neck. The only beads I bothered to bring home from New Orleans. After we took a selfie, she asked if she could hug me, and of course, I said ‘yes.’

Next, I saw Dom. Her table was being a lot more rushed due to long lines, but she was still so sweet and gracious. She said it was really nice to see me again. I gave her a handmade card with a quote on it and a bracelet I hoped she might like, which she thanked me for and said both were beautiful, especially the card. She also asked to see the tattoo I had gotten of her writing from ECCC and smiled at the result. I love this tattoo like a lot. When she got up to take selfies with me, she also gave me a really big hug without me even asking, which was super nice. Kat had done the same, which was also great because I hadn’t gotten the chance to give her a hug at ECCC.

I had a couple photo ops after with Dom, then Dani. Dom’s was pretty quick. I had forgotten props at home for it, so I gave her rainbow sunglasses and we posed with those. Dani, I asked just to make a silly face. She asked for direction and when I had none, she said, “Just any funny face?” and I nodded. When I thanked her for the photo, she said she didn’t think I’d be thanking her once I saw it. But I did see it and I did love it, so I guess she’s wrong hah!

The representation panel separated my photo ops with Dani and Dom from my photo op with Kat. It was really great, but Varun totally made me tear up when he talked about Indian representation on television. I’m going to let the internet cover the panel, though, since I imagine it’ll be on YouTube at some point. My photo with Kat was also kind of dampened by my forgetfulness for props, but I gave her my cell phone and told her to hold it out of reach for me. She didn’t hold it all the way up, though, so I had to crouch a little to make the picture and it kind of looks weird? But I made it a meme anyway. Here’s the original.

Back up to the autograph area, I then went to see Dani. In addition to discussion of my thesis stuff, I also told her I loved Workin’ Moms and that since I’m Canadian, I was all caught up. I told her I watched with my parents, which made her laugh and exclaim, “You watch it with your parents!? Is that awkward? What did they think about the scene where I m*st*rb*te on the couch?” I just said that thankfully, I did watch some episodes without them. She thanked me for my support and I complimented her outfit before moving onto Varun’s table.

Similar to Emily’s table on Friday, Varun’s had a relatively short line but was taking a long time to get through because he was chatting with everyone for so long. When I got up to have my thesis signed, he wasn’t even sitting behind his table. Instead, he was stood leaning against it, and every time someone came up, he would engulf them in a big hug. He looked at me with a big grin and said, “I recognize you!” and I guess I kind of made a confused face because he added, “I think?” and we had an awkward conversation about how I’d never actually met him before. Oops.

The rest of the interaction was far from awkward, though. Varun is extremely personable and kind. He asked me a million questions about my thesis. Actually, most of the cast had questions as to what it was about and how to define words like ‘alexithymia,’ but he was genuinely interested in how I ran the experiment and measured all my variables, what populations I used, etc. We had a long talk about things like physician bias and gender bias in diagnosing disorders among other things. He said psychology has always fascinated him, along with meditation. He finally had to move on to some of the people behind me, but he gave me another big hug. The selfie we took was inspired by the one of Kat and I from ECCC because he saw it as my lock screen when I took my phone out and mimicked it because he liked it.

Although I was done with that for the day, I spent the whole of Friday night with a bunch of different Earpers, at restaurants and bars before taking a haunted tour of the French quarter with a new friend that was really fun. I stayed up way too late again, and thus became the pattern of the weekend. I’m so sleep-deprived, guys. I probably need a 12 year nap.

Saturday was a different beast. I arrived only fifteen minutes early and started with photo ops. A friend and I had a joint Unkillable Gay Squad photo first. Since we’re both academics and geeks, I brought my stats books down and we asked them to pretend we were teaching them stats. I think Dom has the best face out of everyone because it’s the face I get every time I tell someone I’m going into quantitative psychology. Kat was genuinely trying to read the textbook over my shoulder and when we were done, she was like, “Yeah, I understood none of that!"

An incredibly sweet Earper had extra cast photo ops. Since it was one of my best friends’ first convention ever, she gifted to us one of the cast photos. Another friend couldn’t find her party and was bummed to miss her photo ops so we pulled her into ours instead. Our plan for poses didn’t work because some of the cast were in chairs, so we told them just to do whatever pose they wanted. As I walked in, Varun made a point to tell me that he had been trying to explain my thesis to Dom the night before. So that happened. Crazy, honestly, because it means they were talking about me!! Madness.

Following that, a friend and I hopped into Melanie’s autograph line for her first signing session. We were early for it, but there was already a full line and overflow line, so we were the beginning of the second overflow. Everyone wanted to see her at once. I had to laugh, though, because while I was in line, I changed into my Lasagna Del Rey tee and realized that Mel was wearing hers, too. It was a long time before I would get to the front to point it out, but the time went fast enough. My friend and I met a couple other Earpers with Earp playing cards and we played a few rounds of Go Fish followed by Blackjack. We were also all fighting over who could collect the most Wayhaught cards. Good times.

Meeting Melanie was amazing. When she saw my shirt, she leaned back in her chair, putting on an offended face and exclaimed to her handler, “Are you seeing this!?” and proceeded to tease me about it. I had her sign the same photo as Emily and she squinted at her hair like, “What’s with all the flyaways there? Thoughts?” and then was like, “Oh, it’s because I had all my fake Wynonna hair in and was trying to keep it all at bay.” 

When I told her about my thesis, I added, “And just so you know, it’s not a crap thesis either. It tied for the Outstanding Honours Award and I got a certificate of academic excellence from the CPA for it.” Eyes widened and she held up her hand to high-five me and exclaimed, “That’s how we Earp it girl!” So I was pretty proud. 

She then pointed out the matching shirts to everyone again as she got up and whispered in my ear, “Did you know I was going to wear this this morning?” and told me to post the pictures on twitter because her boss needed to see it.

Immediately following Mel’s autograph session was my Earp sisters photo with her and Dom. I gave them big lollipops, which they loved, and as we started, Mel turned me to Dom and said, “She’s from Calgary! Did you know that!?” Dom looked a little confused, to be honest, but she was like, “No, I don’t think I did. The name’s Steph, right?” I nodded and she smiled, but before she could say anything else, Mel was like, “And she only went and wrote a thesis for us!” So maybe my masters should somehow incorporate Wynonna Earp beyond the acknowledgements and dedications. I have no idea how though lol. Also, as I was leaving, she pointed out again to everyone that we were matching.

A combined photo op with Dani and Mel was next. I asked them to recreate the distracted boyfriend meme and Melanie exclaimed, “Yes!” They asked me who each of us should be and I said they could pick whoever they wanted. Mel wanted to be the girl at the front and Dani went through directing the rest of the photo. When we were done, Melanie winked at me and said this was probably the best photo they’d done.

I had to run to an overlapping photo op with Dom and Kat right after that, so I had to change in the lineup back into the Equality shirt beneath my Lasagna Del Rey and put on beads and a hat before getting the rest of the props ready. Pride photos are a lot harder than anticipated! But I love how it turned out, and Kat really dug the tiny glittery rainbow cowboy hats.

I tried to get autographs from Kat and Dom again because I had giveaway items, but they ran too close to the start of Emily’s workshop, so I couldn’t. The workshop was so much fun, though. She asked that there be no recording so that content remains fresh for newcomers at future cons, so I’m not going to talk much about it. All I’m going to say is that it was really interesting and even more funny. Kinda wish she’d come teach my regular classes.

Aside from at Dani’s table during her signing, the only time I got to meet Michael Eklund outside of photo ops was actually on the sidewalk outside the hotel. I showed him my shirt and he hugged me. Sadly I was never able to make it to his table because I had booked myself with too little flexibility, and every time he was doing a signing, I was busy. Sad. I hope I get to see him at a future con because he’s super great.

Sunday started early with photo ops again. My first was a cast photo this time – the one that I had purchased for myself. I had a lot of selfie props and handed them out to everyone as I told them that I would be using this in place of a real graduation photo. Someone (I don’t remember which one of them) said that was a great idea and they all agreed. As I was leaving, they all cheered congratulations and clapped for me. I almost died, y’all. It was way better than walking across a stage.

Shortly after, I had another photo op with Kat to make up for the one I didn’t like so much on Friday. It did. She wrapped her arms around me and you can see on my face exactly how pleased I am with myself for asking for prom poses. She also asked to make sure I was happy with the grad photo and was glad to know I loved it. A lot.

I had a meet and greet with Dani Kind next, which was fun. That woman really knows how to make you laugh, even when you’re fsjdkfnkv freezing from air con being way too high. She told us about her campy new horror movie and talked a bit about Workin’ Moms and politics. I didn’t talk a lot except for the Canadian election stuff, but it was still super fun just to listen to her. 

I left to get into line for autographs from Dom for the giveaway, but because she had photo ops to get to, our line was cut off while we were still in overflow. We were given post-it notes with numbers on them to indicate that we would be allowed into her line first later. I hopped into Kat’s instead, but a few minutes later, they did the same for hers, so I went to take a breather with a friend until my last photo op.

My final photo was with Wayhaught and my friend for her first con. We asked them to kiss our cheeks, and I think my face says it all. Amazing. Kat apologized for getting lip gloss on my cheek but it really didn’t even matter. I loved it. 

Using my post-it from earlier, I went to Kat’s line first since her session was supposed to start sooner. Since I had both post-its, I and two others were allowed to jump lines when we were finished instead of getting into overflow. Nice. 

This time, we took our selfies first. When she sat down and looked at the names on the stickies for personalization, she was like, “You’re getting them for someone else?” I replied to tell her a bit about the girls I was having her sign for. She particularly loved that Kylie had decorated her grad cap writing ‘Aphrodite made me do it’ and signed that to her paper. 

I then asked her a bit about her experience going to Ellen Degeneres’ show, since she loves her so much (and so do I!). She got really excited and told me that it was absolutely amazing and hilarious, and that she had won a washing machine. I asked how and she said there was a giveaway and that she had also won a two-year supply of Tide. She had to sell the washing machine, though, since she didn’t live in L.A. at the time. She said if I ever have the chance to see her, that I should definitely go, because it was a real moment of seeing her hero live, adding that whenever she’s upset or depressed, she likes to binge Ellen’s talk show on YouTube or sometimes her comedy, which she also loves. I said I was a big fan of her sitcom, but she admitted she hadn’t seen it yet, and I told her to check it out some time.

Dom was my last stop, so I hopped into her line as told. She was moving a little faster, probably because she’s been so late at all the other cons lately, but was still taking time with everyone. She, too, took the selfie first this time. I told her I was getting these autographs for a giveaway for people who couldn’t be there and she exclaimed, “Oh that’s so nice!” I told her a little about the winners and she was jazzed when I said they were from across the globe (I told her the exact countries but just in case, to protect privacy, I won’t say where here). 

I said that I had a random question and asked about her experience with the Spice Girls musical, since I loved them growing up. She blew out a breath and said that was a really big time for her, and that it taught her a lot, especially being part of a big musical that flopped. But, she said, she did get to sing with them on opening night and meet all of the girls. I said that was really cool and asked who her favorite Spice Girl was. She thought for a moment and said it fluctuated between Scary and Baby. I agreed that Baby was always my favorite and she said that she was definitely the nicest.

Also, while she was signing the second photo, she kind of paused for a second and looked at it and then said, “Oh, I just noticed that.” She pointed to a darker spot in the background of the picture and said she had never noticed it before but that for a second, she thought it was moving and that it was a bug. Then she said that her brain was kind of sdfsdfgdg (honestly, the only way to describe the sound that came out of her mouth is a keysmash) and laughed.

As I left, I told her that I hoped she had a great weekend and she said she hoped the same for me. I left and realized I had dumbly left my water bottle on her table and ran back to get it. I zipped back off so I wouldn’t interrupt the next person’s time, but I saw her turn toward me and laugh, saying, “Great job!” Oops... What is it with teal water bottles always being left behind guys?

I went to the cast panel with a bunch of my friends and I think just about the whole room was in tears by the end of the closing ceremonies. Again, I’ll leave those for YouTube. The best parts are already online, anyway, but it was really cool to see it live.

The con was over, but some Earpers posted later in the night that they were having a viewing party in one of the conference rooms on the second floor, so my friend and I went down to join. It was so much fun watching with other Earpers. We played the pilot and then went down a rabbit hole of Wayhaught, including playing the cheerleading scene on repeat. My favorite quote, though, was when we were watching them kiss in 2x02 at the end, when they’re making up. Someone asked an Earper who was hard of hearing if they could hear and they answered, “No.” She said, “Oh, let me pause and put on subtitles,” and they responded, “I didn’t say I needed to hear it to enjoy it.” Wow. Mood.

Monday morning was check out and Dom was in the lobby. She was on her phone and people were looking but no one was bothering her. I went to the desk to check out and Varun appeared at the desk next to me to check out too. He got to talking to my friend who was with me about my thesis (!?) and when I was done checking out, I joined them. He said he and Dom were about to go on a swamp tour and he had to go but that he hoped to see us again at future cons and that it was nice meeting us. That guy really is the sweetest.

Anyway, now I’m home. And a bit sad. But mostly just overwhelmed for love for this cast and for Earpers. I didn’t put as much in here as I could about the atmosphere of the event. So inclusive and kind. Everywhere I turned, I made a new friend. I was always talking to someone, and often those were people I had never met before. There was so much laughter, so much bonding. So many generous, amazing souls. I can’t wait for EH Con and to see them again. I love this family with all my heart. Any sadness I feel came from a place of great joy, and knowing this community is still out there even if we’re not together is so comforting. I love Earpers with my whole freakin’ heart.

[milosprite]

some tips on getting organised after a rough patch

slowly but surely i'm getting my life back on track after going through some Shit™ in high school and i just thought i'd share some of the stuff i've learned while sorting out my crap. turned out to be a really long post so everything's under the cut if you're interested.

getting out of the not-so-great situation that was preventing me from moving forward with my life. for me, that was leaving school. i'd fallen in with kinda a crappy crowd of people, i wasn't achieving anything, i'd been bullied there in previous years and my 'friend' group at the time was getting me into trouble. aside from that, i'd mentally associated my school with a trauma that happened in my first year, so it was just all round not a good place for me. as i was in my last year i chose to drop out and use an alternate pathway into uni instead of transferring to a new school. for some people it might be near impossible to get out of the situation, but if you see a chance, i encourage you to take it.

start wearing matching socks. things like cleaning your room or sorting through your clothes can be really daunting projects and even starting to put effort into your outfits can be a bit scary at first. wearing matching socks can make you feel like you're a little more in control of things and it doesn't require a lot of effort. if you have the money, i'd recommend buying all new socks especially ones with colours or patterns as it'll be easier to match them up. you'll get a sense of accomplishment out of it and hopefully feel a little less overwhelmed by everything.

learn a language on duolingo. duolingo, if you haven't heard of it already, is a free language learning app which is pretty dang ok. it has a streak feature, so if you complete your daily lesson minimum every day you get a streak of however many days that is. the lessons take about 5 mins which you can do on the bus/train, at lunch break or first thing when you get up in the morning which is what i usually do. it's satisfying to see a however many days streak of accomplishment and it motivates me to continue working on things. i'm currently learning french mainly because i think it's an interesting enough language and it's close to my native english so it's not particularly difficult. unfortunately there are not many options if your first language isn't english, but if you feel confident learning another language from english or spanish i think is the other one with lots of options, i encourage you to use duolingo.

start making your bed. making your bed makes your room feel more clean and organised than it actually might be. i have a double bed in quite a small room so i used to use my bed for storage a lot, would just throw my bag onto it after school or work, clean washing lived in a pile on my bed, etc. all in all very cluttered and not comfy to sleep in. so, if you clear off and make your bed not only will you get a better sleep, but you'll also have a tidier/more organised feeling room. for bonus points wash your sheets and blankets i know you need to.

pack lunches. even if you're not going anywhere, i'd recommend packing a lunch the night before anyway. this way you're less inclined to eat take out all the time so you'll feel a bit healthier, you get practice cooking and it will give you a more solidified night routine. lunches can be super simple to make, cut up an apple or an orange, make up some rice, tinned beans, leftover dinner, a sandwich with leftovers in it (if you tend to eat buns instead of sandwich bread you can buy a premade salad and grab a handful and chuck it in your bun. bam healthy salad sandwich), pretty much anything edible in a lunch box. doesn't have to be fancy.

pack your bag for the next day every night. this is a tip probably everyone has heard before, but it really works. unpacking your bag when you get home and packing it with everything you need tomorrow before you go to bed streamlines the getting up in the morning process and again solidifies a night routine (routines are GREAT for organising yourself i promise you)

go for walks. staying in your house all day can be pretty depressing, especially if you're already depressed. if you're not busy and you're feeling like rubbish at home, charge up your phone, put your earphones in and just walk somewhere. local shop, park, beach if you live near it, walk up to the local school and back, just go somewhere. it's nice to be outside and getting in some exercise will make you feel a bit better a lot of the time. if you can't walk far/at all, i'd recommend sitting outside in your backyard (or front yard or balcony whichever you have that works) stick your earphones in and listen to some music or podcasts or read a book if you prefer. getting out doesn't have to mean doing something or spending money or being with other people. alternatively, doing yoga or something similar outside every now and then might also work.

get yourself something nice. if you're in a position to save money, save up a bit (maybe like $50 or more if you can) and just go ham. capitalism sucks but buying stuff makes us feel good and now is not the time to be analysing that. buy yourself a new shirt or shoes, make up if you wear it, cute stationery, video game, get yourself a haircut or wash and blow dry, buy a cd, new earphones, if you have pets you might like to buy something for them. anything you want that you can afford within your budget. note: don’t do this all the time you will become very poor very quickly :(

keep in mind, none of this is going to happen overnight. i started off with wearing matching socks almost 2 years ago and i'm still in the process of sorting my life out, but i've come so far since then and so can you. if nothing else here is useful, please just remember to be patient with yourself and celebrate the little victories that no one else notices or even cares about. be proud of yourself because you've achieved so much.

[neureaux]

one of my most important treatments starts next week, it’s with the national traumatic stress clinic & it’s one that feels really integral to growth and the kind of healing that’s important to me. healing that takes a while, but it’s permanent. sturdy.

i’m grateful but lately i’ve been feeling a bit weary/tired just in general, not because of the treatments but just in my life, temporarily. i’m doing a lot of treatments, making lots of changes and chasing up a lot of things, and i’m finding myself straddling that physical health & mental health/ptsd overlap and it’s sometimes like juggling. the apartment’s still being renovated, so in the meantime i’ve been focusing on keeping my current one neat just for the sake of preserving my headspace and for pre-preparation for the move and it’s been good for me. i let it get a bit cluttered recently when i wasn’t that well and it made me feel kind of emotionally congested so i’m choosing to stay on top of it now.

these days my weeks are busy, with convenient gaps of a few days towards the end of the week to reflect, restructure and regroup and i’m pretty grateful. i’m easing myself back into socialising but i remember that it can be more complex than just getting on with it alone, honestly i’ve become pretty comfortable with not really doing it and i enjoy my own company, i’m still fairly sensitive emotionally too so it can be tricky to navigate being with others so i’m taking it slowly and all i can do is my best! i’m doing pretty well with pushing myself into speaking up a bit more, with working out how to vocalise my thoughts + feelings and also protecting my energy thankfully, as a big thing is to avoid falling back into any patterns that made me do unhealthy stuff or things that make me feel like i need to indulge extra coping mechanisms in the first place, like actively fighting to conceal my ptsd or health issues/pain and having it backfire on me both at the time and later on/when i come home and causing me damage, or allowing myself to endure things that i don’t want to for extended periods for the sake of others and feeding into unhealthy ideas about myself based in low self-esteem. it’s a lot of work right from the ground up, but it’s actually turning out to be creating a genuinely healthy environment and headspace for myself very gently, not one that just appears okay-ish as long as you don’t look too long or too closely, one that just exists very precariously and only in “perfect” conditions, it’s the creation of something authentic with work so i’m actually very grateful and i’m being careful to nurture that properly and also to work through irrational feelings of guilt for doing that and taking care of myself properly! i’m trying to teach myself for real that i’m at least worth taking care of and i won’t let anyone that can’t actually do it themselves guilt trip me into not doing it for myself and am working on being okay with truly giving myself at least that normal human courtesy. i’m really enjoying cooking at the moment though, and as i get more comfortable in the kitchen i’m branching out more, getting used to cooking the things i like to order at restaurants and learning what my favourite flavours and smells are just in my home. i recently made my first risotto from scratch and i was so proud, i got so full that i fell asleep! i’m getting to know my favourite spices. i just love to make my own food.

i’m still reading a lot, i find it super relaxing and it’s a really nice way to pass the time. i’m nurturing a little growing obsession with my diffuser again, and i bought a vast new set of essential oils so i’m playing with the combos to decide which scent i like to linger in the house. right now, my favourites are sweet orange, bergamot & lemongrass together, and ylang ylang with geranium! it’s just pleasant to wake up and plod around the apartment with something to set the day.

tonight, i want to get an early night and then i’m going to spend my time tomorrow at home, reading and listening to soft music until my groceries arrive - then i’m going to make my first stew. i’m really excited about making onion gravy as it’s my favourite, although this time i’ll have to outsource my roast potatoes which i don’t love, because i like to make stuff entirely from scratch - but i’m okay with it, because soon i’ll be in my new apartment with a much bigger kitchen and a cooker, nesting, and my recipes will just be boundless then! the cooker will be one of my first purchases, and then i’ll make my stew with the same love put into my hand cut potatoes as the rest.

[joongie-smiles]

A Place to Call Home

Hello, wonderful readers! So this is something a little different from my usual one-shots, This is just some stuff about Keith. I had started thinking about the relationship between Shiro Keith and Adam and thought it would be something like this. By the way, I didn’t know if Adam had a last name (canon or otherwise) only that his initial was W, so i just picked a random Arabic last name because. If any of my Arab readers (hope I don’t offend with an umbrella term) have any suggestions for Adam’s last name, please let me know!

When he was a kid, Keith was never really into superheroes. It wasn’t that he didn’t like them--he thought most of them were interesting, like Captain America and Iron Man--but he never felt the need to buy everything with their faces plastered on it or fawn over the latest comic book issue. He never had unbridled adoration for these fictional superheroes. Instead, all his awe went to the real life superhero in his life--his dad.

For as long as 7 year old Keith could remember, his father had always been a superhero. He didn’t have cool super powers like Spiderman, but he saved people every day. He was strong, courageous, brave, and the best dad a kid could ever ask for. His dad had been a firefighter long before Keith was born, and he would tell him all the stories of his adventures. His dad worked pretty much all day, but he always made an effort to spend time with him. When his dad finally deemed him old enough, Keith would tag along and stay at the fire department. He spent most of the day coloring in the coloring books the rest of the crew gave him or simply running around the station. He would often steal his dad’s helmet and done it proudly as he stood on the table and proudly told the firefighters around him that one day he would be a firefighter and save people just like his dad. His bold statement would be accompanied with a round of cheers and jubilant laughter. Most of his days were spent like that: with laughter and joy and the simple delight of being with his dad.

His dad was a real life superhero, and while it was glorious at times, it was also devastating. Even as a kid, Keith understood that those nights when his dad came back all patched up and looking beat, that meant it had been a bad day. He understood that when he limped around their small apartment and winced, it was from more than just the physical pain. He understood that when his dad hugged him tightly and told him that he loved Keith in that wobbly, tearful tone, it meant that they had lost someone in the fire. He understood that October 30 was a day of mourning for the Koganes, and he knew that when his dad started tossing and turning at night calling out for ‘Krolia’, he should just lie at his side and hold him close. He understood that when he opened the door that dreadful night to a policeman with a pained expression that something bad had happened. And he understood by just looking at the firemen around the police officer and hearing their soft, pained “we’re so sorry, Keith” that his dad wasn’t coming home.

After that, Keith stopped believing in superheroes all together. He had no time to fantasize about heroes and adventures, he had to focus on where he was going to stay. He had no relatives willing to take him in, and no matter how hard the crew fought to keep him, the lawyer assigned to Keith thought it would be best from him to go into the system and find a stable family instead of getting raised by a “village” as she’d put it. He fought the decision, and even threatened to run away, but in the end, he boarded the first train out of Houston and to some orphanage in Oklahoma. The first couple of months he tried to behave and fit in, he really did, but no one else seemed to be making the same effort. The older kids were forever mad at the world, and the younger ones were focused on taking care of themselves more than others. After all, there was no point in making connections when all you wanted to do was get out of there.

Keith soon discovered how mean children could be. Whether they pointed out his “weird looking” eyes or rudely imitated him when he spoke Korean, they always seemed to find something odd to point out about Keith. The incessant teasing soon turned into rough shoves and harsh glares. After the first month or so of such treatment, Keith was fed up with it all. In the cloak of night, he ran away from the orphanage and bought a ticket back to Texas with some money he had stolen from the orphanage’s owner. Honestly, Keith had no idea what he was doing, all he knew was that he had to get out of that place. He knew he didn’t have family in Texas anymore, but the orphanage wasn’t any better. He was a smart kid, he could figure out what to do once he got there. Looking back, Keith realized that what he did was dumb, and he was glad that a pair of policemen found him and stopped him from boarding the train to Texas. The lawyer assigned to Keith’s case agreed to transfer him to another orphanage, but only if he didn’t run away again. Keith agreed, and in no time, he moved up to Oklahoma City. This time, he lasted almost 5 months before he became restless and itched to leave. A family had been interested in adopting him, but Keith refused. He wasn’t ready to be a part of a new family, and he felt like accepting their offer was like he was replacing his father, and he would never, ever do that. He ended up running away again, and as a result, he was transferred to a new orphanage. The same thing happened again and again; he would go to an orphanage, get in fights, run away, then be sent to a new one and the cycle would repeat. He hoped from orphanage to orphanage, from family to family, never quite finding a place where he belonged. For years, it seemed that he just didn’t belong anywhere. It wasn’t until his 12th birthday that he had a little hope for happiness.

At the orphanage he was staying at for the time being, they allowed you to pick a place to spend your birthday as long as it was within their ability to take you there. Most kids wanted to go to the movie theater or a skating rink, but Keith wasn’t really interested in anything in , particular. Earlier that day, he’d seen a poster advertising the opening of the galaxy branch at their local museum, so when he was asked where he wanted to go, he chose to go to the museum on a whim. Though their caretaker was surprised by his answer. She agreed and took Keith and the rest of the kids to the museum. Once there, they were allowed to run wild. Most of them paired up and went to look at the dinosaur exhibits, but Keith decided to stay on his own and go to the new galaxy exhibit.

To put it in simple words, it was breathtaking. The room was dark, and there was a pattern of stars painted on every wall. Constellations littered the ceiling, peeking out behind the large planets that hung from the wall. The sun hung right above the entrance and glowed faintly with yellow light which pulsed every now and then to imitate a dancing sunspot. From there, the inner planets followed. Mercury was a mild grey one minute, but it jumped to life with swirls of gold and blue that ran across the surface of the planet, swift as the Roman god it had been named after. Venus hung large and proud, glowing with the light of a thousand fires, its beauty unmatched by the others. Beside it hund Earth. It was about the same size, but the contrast of colors--one dark red, the other blue and green--made it stand out beside the vain planet. The white clouds moved lazily across the face of the blue and green planet, and they twisted to and fro like a group of gymnasts tracing the path of the winds. The last inner planet, Mars, was a furious red that reminded Keith of a time long ago and stories of heroic firefighters saving the day. His lips quirked up slightly at the thought.

Following the inner planets, a ring of meteorites hung across the exhibit. The shape of the space rocks varied from pebble sized to boulder sized. They were lined up neatly and meticulously and stood firmly in place, like a line of soldiers holding back enemy intruders. Behind the army of asteroids was the outer planets. The outer planets were much larger than the inner planets, and their moons surrounded them. Jupiter, the biggest planet in our solar system, hung low enough that when Keith stood right under it, he could vaguely see all the wires and lights hid behind the thin, sand colored cloth. It looked calm and peaceful for the most part, but in intervals of 10 minutes, a raging storm blew across the surface of the grand planet, bringing with it the rage and power associated with the Roman god of lightning. Where Jupiter was large and intimidating, Saturn was all elegance and grace. The yellow planet’s large rings shined delicately as if they had been constructed with ice from space itself. Though the circumference was impressive, the rings were barely thicker than a stack of papers. Next, to Saturn hung Uranus, the planet with the infamous funny name. For all the giggles it caused, the planet itself was beautiful. Its surface was painted with a dusty baby blue shone softly and paler than the elegant Saturn before it and the glorious Neptune after it. Neptune was a shade of blue Keith had never seen. It was bold and attracted the attention of anyone who walked by it. It proudly hung at the end of the solar system, and its radiance seemed to rival the sun’s. After Neptune, where Pluto should have been, was an entrance to a smaller room inside the exhibit. The sign above the entrance proudly deemed it “A Journey Through Space” and encouraged him to take a pair of 3D glasses. He did just what the sign suggested and walked in to experience space. Like the rest of the exhibit, the room was dimly lit, and stars littered the walls and ceiling. But here, meteors drifted by, and shooting stars zipped through space. Everything was much closer and the occasional space fact popped up on one of the walls. He didn’t mind the interruption, in fact, he thought the fascinating facts added to the experience. Unfortunately, the trip through space ended, but he had been rewarded with a thin book about space and a pin that identified him as a space cadet.

Eventually, his birthday and the trip to the museum came to an end, but Keith wasn’t sad. On the contrary, he was happier than he’d ever been in years. He no would no longer have to deal with the constant search for a place to call home, he now knew where he belonged. He belonged in space. He decided that he’d work hard and do everything that he could to go to space and become a real life space cadet. It didn’t matter if he didn’t feel at home in any of these orphanages or cities, they were just stepping stones for his goal, his future. Keith looked at the back of the pin and smiled down at the name inscribed in it. Galaxy Garrison. That’s where his home would be. There, at the Galaxy Garrison, he would find his place.

Keith worked hard to get into the Garrison. He took every advanced class offered at his high school, worked on his anger issues, and had read every book on space and piloting that he could find. When application season came, he busted his butt on them and spent weeks perfecting his essays and recommendations. After his application was submitted, he would rush to the mailbox every morning and searched through the mail for the familiar grey and orange G. It wasn’t until early spring that he received his reply. When Keith spotted the Garrison’s insignia, he grabbed the letter and ran to his room. He paced restlessly back and forth, holding the letter tightly to his chest. He was afraid of opening it. What if they were rejecting him? What if he hadn’t won any of their scholarships? What if--

He stopped and stared at the picture on his bedside of him and his dad. That picture and the dark-hilted knife his father always had were the only things he had left from his dad. He tried to rarely think about his dad so as to not get sad, but on this rare occasion, he did. He sat down on his bed and looked at the picture. His dad was beaming back at him, and his words whispered softly in his mind. You can do anything as long as you believe in yourself. With a shaky sigh, Keith carefully opened the letter and read the printer words: Keith Kogane, we are happy to inform you that you have been accepted to the Galaxy Garrison and are the fortunate recipient of a full-ride scholarship. Congratulations.

That was the first time since his dad died that he’d cried from joy.

When he met Takashi Shirogane, he was convinced that he’d met a superhero for the second time in his life. Junior Officer Takashi Shirogane wasn’t a teacher at the Garrison, he was an exploration pilot, but he would often poke his head in during pilot training. He was well known around the Garrison for being the best pilot of his time. Everyone looked up to him, and Keith was no exception. He was determined to be just as good of a pilot, if not better, than the famous exploration pilot. And if his simulation scores were anything to go off of, he was well on his way to being the best pilot of his generation. Keith knew that he was an amazing pilot, but he tried not to let it get to his head. He still stayed up late to study for exams and spent hours doing his homework just like everyone else. Whenever the flight simulator was open for practice, Keith would spend hours practicing and perfecting his technique. He continued to stay at the top of his class and people started to notice.

“Space is the boundless three-dimensional extent in which objects and events have relative position and direction. Physical space is often conceived in three linear dimensions, although modern physicists usually consider it--” A knock on the door interrupted Mr. Wahim’s lecture. He turned to look through the little window in the door and scowled when he saw who it was. “Oh for goodness sakes,” he mumbled. “Class, read pages 100 to 120 from your book tomorrow and take clear notes. Make sure you understand the lesson because we will be taking a quiz on it.” He ignored the groans that followed and walked over to the door. He opened it just enough to poke his head through to talk with the person on the other side. Unlike his classmates, Keith ignored his teacher’s conversation and focused on reading the lesson assigned to them. The theory of the black hole was one of the most difficult things to study let alone understand, so he was determined not to waste any precious work time Mr. Wahim gave him. He was about to start the theory of general relativity when the curious hushed whispers became excited exclamations. Keith looked up to see what his classmates were so excited about and almost let out a cry of surprise of his own when he saw who was standing beside Mr. Wahim.

Takashi Shirogane smiled back at the classroom full of awe-struck teenagers. “I’m sorry to interrupt the class, but I just came by to talk with Mr. Wahim.”

“Even though Mr. Shirogane knows perfectly well that I have a class in session,” Mr. Wahim reprimanded him, but there was no real harshness behind his words.

Mr. Shirogane’s smile turned sheepish. Mr. Wahim relented and waved at his awe-struck students. “The bell rings in 30 seconds, go ahead and pack up your things. Don’t forget the assignment.” The class rushed to collect their things and went back to whispering excitedly.

“What do you think they have to talk about?”

“I don’t know but there probably won’t be talking at all. Didn’t you hear that they’re dating?”

“Wow, if Mr. Wahim let the class out 30 seconds before the bell for him then they must be.”

Keith ignored the gossip and collected his things. Next he had lunch, so he’d head to the library and get some homework done. Maybe if he finished early he might be able to get a couple practice hours in.

“Keith, can you stay back for a minute?” Mr. Wahim called out to him.

There was a low chorus of “ooh”s, and Keith rolled his eyes at his classmates immature response. He stepped away from the door and made his way to Mr. Wahim’s desk. Once the rest of his classmates had filed out the door, it was Mr. Shirogane who spoke first, much to Keith’s surprise. “So you’re the one who is trying to beat my record.”

Keith blinked, dumbfounded. “What?”

From beside him, Mr. Wahim scoffed. “I told you not to start like that. You’ll intimidate the poor kid.”

Mr. Shirogane rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Right, I forgot.” He cleared his throat and stuck his hand out for Keith to shake. “Sorry, let me start over. Hi, I’m Takashi Shirogane. I’m a pilot for the Garrison, and I think you have some pretty impressive skills.”

“What?” Keith repeated. Apparently when faced with his idol all he could say was that cursed one letter word. It was embarrassing.

Mr. Shirogane seemed to find his response endearing. “You’re doing really well in your classes and you’re way ahead of you classmates. You are an impressive cadet, and I just wanted to let you know that if you ever want a training buddy or maybe some flying tips, I’m here.”

Finally, Keith could get enough control to respond. “Wait, isn’t that favoritism.”

“Well, yes, but if we say that you asked for the help and I’m simply mentoring you, then there shouldn’t be a problem. Anyway, every teacher has a favorite,” Mr. Shirogane admitted.

“That is true,” Mr. Wahim confirmed from his desk. He was grading the class’ solar system test. He motioned towards a large pile of papers. “They, for instance, are not my favorites.” He held up a small stack of 4 papers. “These are my favorites.”

Keith was tempted to ask if he was one of the four. “I appreciate the offer, but why me?”

“Like I said, you have the making of an amazing pilot,” Mr. Shirogane said. “Plus,” he added. “You remind me of myself when I was your age. Determined, ambitious--”

“--reckless, easily irritable,” Mr. Wahim added.

He ignored his comment. “So, what do you say?”

Keith didn’t have to think about it for too long. “Yes, of course. Thank you, Mr. Shirogane.”

The older pilot smiled. “Call me Shiro.”

Ever since then, Keith started spending more time with Shiro, and consequently Mr. Wahim--or Adam as he insisted Keith call him. Usually, they worked on Keith’s piloting and hand to hand and weapons combat. Keith had known that he was a good pilot and a good fighter, but beside Shiro, he was the opposite. He grilled flight plans and maneuvers into his head and pushed him to his limits. Though Keith had always worked hard in his classes, they had never required him to push himself, but training with Shiro did. Surprisingly enough, there was no real backlash to their afterhours training, in fact, the commanders seemed to encourage it. What better way to improve than to train with someone willing to share their knowledge and skill. In the beginning, some of his classmates were bitter towards Keith, but they quickly took this as a challenge to improve and become better themselves. Some even found junior officers or teachers to serve as their mentors.

Aside from the training, Keith spent time with Shiro just to hang out with him. He learned that despite his spotless record, Shiro could be more than a little reckless. One day after training, Keith and Shiro were sitting on a dune overlooking the endless sand surrounding the Garrison.

“Have you ever flown outside of the simulator before?” Shiro asked him.

“No,” Keith replied. “Apparently we’re not ready to fly yet.”

“Do you think you’re ready?” Shiro asked.

“Yes,” he immediately said.

“Good because this would have been a waste if you didn’t.” Shiro stood up and walked towards a pile of rocks nearby.

“What do you mean--” Keith was cut off by a low rumbling sound coming from behind the rocks. He frowned and ran to see what was causing the noise. When he rounded the boulders, he stopped in surprise and gaped in awe. There, standing before him, were two gliders. They were small, intended to be for only one person, and if the light scratches and worn down paint was anything to go off of, they were certainly not new. The Garrison’s insignia was stamped on the hull of each glider.

“They old gliders the Garrison used to use for pilot training, They’ve got some new, updated versions, so they don’t need them. I offered to take a pair off their hands,” Shiro explained.

“Wow,” Keith whispered softly. He walked over and touched the side of one of the gliders. The metal was cold under his fingertips, and he could feel the rough patches where the whipping sand had eroded the metal. The glider seemed to purr softly in response to his touch.

“So, Keith, ready to go on your first flight?” Shiro asked.

In response, Keith hopped into the small cockpit. Shiro laughed at his enthusiasm and climbed into the other glider. “All right, the controls are the same as the ones in the simulator, but it might take you some time to get used to them, so take it slow at first and they’re kind of old so--”

Keith made quick work of the control and zoomed forward. He cheered in delight. He flew past the sandy dunes and thin desert plants. He flew higher and grinned as the desert and the night sky alike became simple blurs of light. As he pushed forward and tore through the sky, he felt free. All his life, he’d been running away from his past and his present, and now, here flying through the night with no worries but the road ahead of him, he felt like he was running towards something. What it was, he couldn’t tell, but he did know that he never wanted to stop feeling like this.

Apparently, the universe had a different plan.

The glider gave a couple of jerks and started to slow down. Keith frowned and pushed on the controls, but it only seemed to make the glider stall more. He barely had enough to veer out of a boulder’s way before the glider skid to an abrupt, bumpy halt. Thankfully, the glider was equipped for sliding on the desert sand, so there wasn’t much damage done to either Keith or the glider itself. Keith popped open the overhead door and climbed out of the glider. Dark smoke started coming from the glider, so Keith stepped back. They had learned that black smoke wasn’t too bad of a sign and there wasn’t any immediate threat of the glider blowing up, but the sight of the billowing smoke made his heart squeeze. He knew that there was no danger, that there were no flames, but his skin got hotter and his breathing became labored. Images played across his mind: the firestation, a burning building he’d never seen but imagined so clearly, his dad. His dad. His vision became blurry, and he almost missed the second glider landing gracefully beside him. The smoke crowded his vision, and the only indication of someone else’s presence was the comforting arms that wrapped around his small frame.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’ve got you,” Shiro whispered soothingly. “I’m right here, okay? Your safe. Just breathe, breathe with me.”

It took a couple more minutes for the shaking to stop and a couple after that for the tears to stop. Keith leaned against Shiro and breathed with him. He allowed himself to just exist in the peace of the moment, and found comfort in the still night sky and Shiro’s comforting words. Eventually, Keith pulled away. “Sorry,” he said softly.

Shiro smiled softly. “Don’t worry about it. I can always get a new glider. Next time, just take it easy, these things are pretty old.” They both knew that he wasn’t talking about the glider, but Keith appreciated.

Shiro nodded in the direction of the Garrison. “Come on, let’s head home. You’ve got homework to do, and Adam will get mad if we stay up to late.”

Keith nodded and walked alongside him. Home, he thought with a smile. Maybe, just maybe, he had found his home.

Keith stuffed his books into his bag and made his way out of the library. Next week, he had exams coming up, and he had been spending all the time he could studying in the library. He would have done it at the apartment, but he thought Adam and Shiro deserved some them time. They hadn’t had any date nights and Adam was getting a little grumpy about it.

As he made his way out of the library, he passed by two cadets who had their heads craned over a large textbook. He vaguely recognized them from his class. Hunk and Taylor? Something like that. They were pretty talented cadets too, and they worked really hard. They were practically attached at the hip and Keith had never seen one without the other. He sighed and pulled his bag closer. It would be nice to have friends like that, it would make this day a little better. Maybe he would talk to them one day.

Keith made a stop at Adam’s classroom, but was surprised to find it empty. He was usually in here till 4 and it was barely 3. He shrugged it off and walked to the post. The post office was by the staff’s lounge and was where any mail for commanders and teachers was kept. The woman behind the desk barely spared him a look when he went over to Shiro and Adam’s boxes. The couple often sent him to do little errands like get the mail, so they were used to seeing him around. After picking up the mail, he walked to Shiro and Adam’s shared apartment. Keith had never officially moved in with them, it had just happened. Keith was over so much that Adam eventually gave their spare room to Keith. Even though he technically had a dorm room, Keith stayed over at the apartment, He wasn’t sure if he could consider it his home yet, so he just took to referring to it as “the apartment”.

Once he arrived, Keith placed his hand to the glass panel to open the door, but instead of opening, the panel glowed red with the words  “access denied” glaring at him. Keith frowned and tried again. The door stayed closed  He double checked to make sure that it was the right apartment. When he confirmed that it was, he stepped up to the door and tried the old fashioned way. He rapped his knuckles against the metal door. “Hey! It’s me, Keith. The panel’s acting up and it won’t let me in,” he called.

He was met with a couple minutes of silence before a quick “coming!” answered.

Keith stepped back and waited. There were a few beeps and a click, and the door slid open. Adam smiled at him. “Hey. sorry, must have accidently manuely locked it.” He stepped back to allow Keith to go inside. “Let’s go the the kitchen, Keith!” Adam insisting, raising his voice.

Keith frowned at the man. “Um . . . okay?” He followed Adam to the kitchen. As they go closer to the kitchen, Keith caught a faint whiff of something sweet. “Hey, why does it smell like--”

“Happy Birthday, Keith!” Adam and Shiro cheered in unison once they entered the kitchen. In Shiro’s hands was a hazardously frosted cake with a single lit candle. The words ‘Happy Birthday, Keef!’ were written in Adam’s elegant handwriting in red frosting.

Keith blinked. He was at a loss for words. He didn’t even know that Adam and Shiro knew what this day meant to him.

“You don’t like it,” Shiro concluding. He lowered the cake and his smile seemed to drop with it.

“No!” Keith hurried to exclaim. “It’s not that, I just . . . didn’t expect it. I didn’t even know you guys knew.”

“We didn’t until yesterday,” Adam admitted. “I was updating my student’s records and I noticed your birthday.”

“You hadn’t mentioned anything, so we thought it would be nice to make a surprise for you,” Shiro said.

Keith starred at the couple. Shiro was nervously standing behind the counter surrounded with what must have been some of Adam’s best cooking, and Adam stood beside him with a hand on his shoulder. They had planned all of this and done this all last minute just for him? He knew how busy they both were and the fact that they took the time to make something for his birthday made a smile break out on Keith’s face. “Thanks,” he said.

Adam and Shiro’s smiles matched his and they quickly went about setting the table for dinner. Keith insisted on helping, but Adam shooed him away and told him to wash up for dinner. Keith smiled and went to the sink to wash his hands. As they ate, they made idle chit chat about their days, Shiro’s missions, Adam’s classes, and Keith’s upcoming exams/ Shiro promised to help Keith study, but only if he stopped staying up too late. Keith couldn’t seem to stop smiling, not that he wanted to. He honestly couldn’t remember a birthday as amazing as this one. After his dad died, Keith usually spent his birthdays alone, so he had stopped celebrating them all together. But now, here he was, surrounded by people he wholeheartedly believed loved and cared about him. He couldn’t be happier.

Shiro collected the plates and took them back to the kitchen. When he returned, he was carrying a thin, rectangular present. “It’s not much,” Shiro admitted, “but we hope you like it.”

Keith took the present from Shiro’s outstretched hands and opened the wrapping paper carefully. Inside, there was something more valuable to Keith than anything anyone other than his father had ever given him. Inside, there was a red picture frame with a picture of Adam, Shiro, and Keith. It had been Adam and Shiro’s anniversary and they had invited Keith to go outside the base with them. Keith had insisted on staying, saying that it was their anniversary and that they should spend it together. They had laughed at his response, and insisted that they should spend the day together as a family. That had been the first time they had called their little trio a family, and Keith had cried. At the sight of his tears, Shiro had panicked and Adam hurried to apologize. Keith had only smiled and told them that he’d be ready in a couple minutes. In the photo, Shiro had one arm around Adam and the other was ruffling Keith’s hair. Adam’s hand rested on Keith’s shoulder, and all three of them were beaming. In black, elegant cursive the word ‘family’ was written along the bottom length of the frame.

Keith stared down at the picture and was silent for a moment. He looked up at Adam and Shiro’s smiling faces and he knew he was done searching for a home. He had the perfect on right in front of him.

[helstrome]

Christmas with NCT (1)

I feel like I didn’t do much here the past few days… I have a problem with my eyes and I lost my glasses so :/ I’ll have the new one ready by Friday smh but anyway!!! Happy holiday!!! I hope you can enjoy this too… somehow…

Taeil

• Played guitar all night long and serenade you your favourite songs!!

• Kept you under his arms when you both snuggled up to watch the same movies being played on tv every year… laughing your heads off to the classic Home Alone series

• Made weird puns and super old dad jokes about Christmas things that you rolled your eyes on;;; but secretly love because it’s…. Taeil

• Diligently bought gifts for the members following your little suggestions;; while making sure they would like it

• Wore the ugliest dad sweater you’ve ever seen,,,, and made you wear one with him

• Cupped your cheeks with his warmed palms when he saw your lips looking a little pale from the cold

• Proudly cooked you his mother’s kimchi stew for dinner;; and it surprisingly taste good to your liking

• Got emotional from remembering it was the 3rd Christmas he got to spend with you;;; and he wants a lot more Christmas together with you for years to come

Johnny

• Helped you decorate the tree

• Especially with the higher part where only giants can reach

• Made you coffee to drink together in front of the fireplace while cuddling

• Or while having a marathon of your favourite holiday movies!!

• Wore matching sweaters and socks with you because he couldn’t afford to break traditions (they sadly don’t make one with those cutely separated toes for giant feet)

• Bought you a lot of presents;; ranging from a big box to a small one

• Where a pretty necklace laid inside the small velvety one and he told you to open it last!

• Put it around your neck;; warm fingers grazing your skin while his mouth whispered ‘Merry Christmas’ in your ear and he gave you a smooch on your cheek~

Taeyong

• Invited you (and insisted!!!) to cook with him

• And bake stuff too;; even though you weren’t very sure if he’d done it before

• At least it didn’t turn out horrible so you can still give it to the dreamies;;

• Gave you an ugly but snuggly sweater and santa’s hat to make you look like a couple!!

• But it looked good on him;;; the world is indeed unfair

• Took pictures outside with his long abandoned Polaroid;; you made snowman together and took a shot of it, also took pictures of each other

• Decorated the photos and wrote your wishes for each other behind it

• Spent the night cuddling under the blankets because it was freezing

• While watching the snowfall outside the window;; talking about nothing and everything until you both drift off to sleep

Yuta

• Festive spirit Yuta means Cheesy Yuta!!

• You both dressed in matching Christmas-themed outfits and went on a date downtown!

• Visited cute cafes and ate delicious cake in the afternoon

• Got complimented for being a very pretty and adorable lovebirds by an elderly couple and a street snack vendor auntie;;; Yuta proudly bragged about you to them while smiling widely

• Stopped by an animal shelter and he surprised you by saying his Christmas gift for you was to adopt a pet;;;

• You picked a cute brown poodle pup who likes Yuta a lot and kept licking his hand

• Of course you had to go back to introduce your new pup to your place;; and after playing with it for a while Yuta told you to clean up and dress nicely for dinner

• He had a reservation at a very nice restaurant for a special Christmas dinner with you;; he had called to book a long time ago for the occasion

• He took your hands in his after dessert and stared into your eyes;; saying he was glad he could spent his Christmas with you even though he’s away from home,, you made it just as warm

Doyoung

• Would battle your voices out over the classic must-played Christmas songs like;;; starting two weeks before the d-day

• Asked you directly about what you want for a gift because he had no idea what to get and he felt like it would be such a waste if you didn’t like the gift in the end

• Fussed over Christmas shopping and wanted to do it immediately before the shops become crowded and uncomfortable

• Furthermore because you!!! And the dreamies!!! Have to get the nicest presents available!!! Typical mom Doyoung;;;

• Spent the night having dinner inside,, you busied yourself unwrapping gifts because he decided to give you not only one;; he couldn’t think of anything to be eliminated from the category of perfect gifts for you so why not just give you all of it

• Pointing towards your abundant gifts under the not-so-big Christmas tree with indifferent voice tone but his eyes sparkled in curiosity for your reaction;;

• You gathered your presents in your arms and gave him a smooch on his lips,, thanking him for all the gifts

• The tip of his ears got really red;; but quickly vanished when he opened the box you gave him and found a bunny doll inside making him whine extra loud,, started spewing comments about how nice he was being and how he shouldn’t have done that

• You laughed at the fuming bunny and pointed to another box under the tree instead, telling him it’s the actual gift

• Let’s just say he treated you like a princess for the rest of the evening for giving him what he had wanted for so long;;; he knew that’s exactly the reason why you’re his girlfriend afterall~

Ten

• Begged you to wear the reindeer headbands he prepared for the both of you with his sparkly eyes

• You hesitated;;; because you were going to go to the crowded mall to shop for gifts

• But of course you couldn’t resist his pearly white smile and adorable whines,,, you both sporting matching antlers with your red sweater and his green one

• A lot of kids glanced at your direction because they thought you’re some kind of Santa’s helpers;; Ten was happy to receive the attentions and he walked confidently with your right hand entangled with his left one,,, the other hand he used to wave excitedly to the kiddos

• Bought you your favourite ice cream since what is cold you both have no idea;;; every day is a perfect ice cream day (even though the temperature outside could freeze your brains)

• Queued along together with a lot of people to write your wishes to Santa and hung it up on the giant tree inside the mall!!

• Took stupid selcas with the Christmas-themed property;; you got an ugly picture of him making funny faces wearing Rudolph’s nose

• Had a playlist entirely dedicated to Christmas (which is normal…. until he actually started playing it when the clock hit 00:00 at December 1st)

• (And hasn’t stopped since then…. probably until the end of the year)

Jaehyun

• Absolutely didn’t want to be far from you;;; clingy Jaehyun is life

• His excuses being the cold while his body was radiating warmth all over

• Also he wore fuzzy sweater and cute coloured socks with cartoon animal patterns on it

• You didn’t try to deny because all you want most of the time is to cuddle with him

• Cooked special Christmas dinner with you!!! Him being the little snake he is,,, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind;; turning you around and pressing little kisses all over your face

• Almost lifted you up to the counter if you didn’t stop his advances;;; Jae please

• He just !!!!! grinned cheekily giving you his heavenly dimples to run away from your scolding

• Made you hot chocolate with his special recipe (which was just… adding marshmallows and a bit of cinnamon)

• His favourite part of the day was the cuddle session (again) after dinner where you both were full and contented;;; feeling warm just to get even warmer by hugging each other close,, your head on his chest while he played with your hair;; sometimes humming songs, or talking to himself about how lucky he is to have you and how precious you are to him

Sicheng

• Texted you his plan about taking you out on a date to this really nice Chinese restaurant he tried some time ago with the members

• His eyes lit up and he got very very excited when he opened the door and saw you standing behind it!!!

• He was like let’s go!!!! I know it’s for dinner but maybe we can walk around beforehand~ I heard the town is pretty when it’s holiday season!!

• Fixed your scarf so it covers your neck and your mouth;;; making you laugh because he wouldn’t hear you talk if it’s muffled by the scarf,,, he laughed it off shyly pinching your reddened nose

• Filled your stomachs with street snacks and took a walk around;; admiring the Christmas decorations and the festive atmosphere all over

• Met a group of Chinese tourist who seemed kind of lost and he initiated to help by telling them the right directions because he’s confident with his native language;; being complimented of how handsome and kind he’s being

• You gave him a kiss on his cheek because you’re so proud of him for being brave to approach first and offered his help!! His face and ears got all red but there’s a permanent smile etched on his face all the way to the restaurant

• It only got bigger because you both were gonna eat his favourite hot pot and other Chinese dishes that he missed very much;; he also video called his family after dinner and both of you exchanged your good wishes from the screen

• He walked you back to your place,, saying his thank you for the wonderful day and kissed your lips as a goodbye;;; leaving you frozen in front of your door from the impact

Credits for the gifs used go to the respective owners~

[bethmunroemusic-blog]

10 Things I wish I knew before I joined a band

If you are a musician just starting out, then this article will save you time and money.

​​​

​1. Sort out your PRS account right now PRS (Performance Rights Society) pay musicians whenever their original songs are played in public. This means you can get paid for playing your own songs at gig. Lets say you play an average small show every couple of weeks, you're talking royalties of around £200 per year, and the payout increases as you get bigger gigs and play to more people. I remember back when I was unsure, was unfamiliar with how the whole thing worked - so I left it. Looking back now if I had signed up to PRS at the beginning, I'd have an extra £500 right now. You can't afford not to do this >>> www.prsformusic.com.

2. Be a hard-ass Keeping a band going takes a huge amount of work. Do not let any of your band mates hold you down with laziness, negativity, apathy or bad attitude.  You deserve musicians who are dedicated, hard working, professional, level headed, respectful and kind. This is your future, don't let anyone else take it away from you.  When I look back on my musical career, I see someone who stayed quiet and kept the peace with the wrong people, and repeatedly walked away with nothing but time wasted. It is one of the saddest feelings in the world to know that I let my entire career slide, simply out of fear of being called a bossy bitch. And I really, really, don't want it to happen to you too.

3. Practice, practice, practice My guitar tutor said: "A good musician practices until they get it right, a great musician practices until they cannot get it wrong." Mistakes happen live, it's actually not a problem with the right attitude - but walking onstage underprepared and terrified is bound to affect everything about your performance.  Practice your parts 100x until they're completely muscle memory and watch how much it transforms your performance. Everything will improve, both from the audience's perspective and yours. You may be nervous, but be over-prepared, and everything will fall into place.

4. Network It will always be the people around you that end up opening doors for you. Don't be afraid to send out lots of messages and emails, and make sure they’re clear, concise and professional. Your first message is often ignored, a good rule is to message 3 times, the 3rd say it’s your last message, and thanks for their time anyway. This approach is actually quite successful in finally getting a reply. Gigs will always be the best way to network. The gigs I landed at first were because I went to gigs, and physically introduced myself to the promoter. Be polite, smile, take a moment to describe your band and hand them a CD/card/bit of paper with your details, then message them a bit later reminding them who you are. This is the most effective way to get a gig. Other musicians can get you gigs as well, so it’s always worth introducing yourself to them. Just take a moment to say hi, compliment them and take a couple of minutes to let them know you exist, are a musician and nice human being. Lastly, the audience, if you're super friendly and seen at gigs, people will have a good impression of you before you've stepped onstage. Seriously, go to gigs, it's the best thing you can do to help your career. 

5. Do social media properly Promoters, managers and radio pluggers pay attention to how you handle your social media. Building an online fan base takes so much patience and work to expand into what you want. Facebook is terrible for self-promotion, and is not the main site you should concentrate on. Instagram is probably the best right now, (although there’s rumours about them restricting reach like Facebook, so be wary.) Spend time on each platform, learn the algorithms, patterns and behaviours of each site, keep engaging with others as much as possible so that you're bringing people in and not just hurling posts out into the abyss every now and then. Create content with personality, pictures work better than words, and videos work best of all, so let people see you, even just you chatting or a bedroom video of a new song. Let people into your life and make them feel like they know you. An important point: Set up social media for yourself as a musician, as well as for your band. The 2 pages can reference each other and bounce off one another, and if the band splits up, you're not suddenly starting from square one, which - trust me - is a massive pain.

6. Surround yourself with good people You deserve to be surrounded by people who are committed, respectful, and want the best for you. I’ve been in bands with some awful negative people, and I’ve been in bands with outright bullies that completely pulled my confidence apart. It happens often, and sometimes when you’re in the middle of it you don’t realise what’s happening. You will meet assholes everywhere on your journey, but the good thing is as time goes on you will be better equipped to recognise them.  ***Never stick to someone awful out of desperation, you are better off on your own than with someone who isn’t a good person.***

7. Play simple stuff well When I began playing guitar, I refused to let anyone hear me because I thought I was shit (I mean, I was shit, but that's beside the point.) I spent so much time doing exercises that I hated, so that I could 'shred'. I didn't even like it, I just felt like I was supposed to. I neglected the important things: being a solid, well-rounded player, building a unique style, knowing my stuff, and playing confidently. I sucked all the fun out of music for myself, simply out of insecurity and a need to be validated. When I went to study music I had to relearn playing simple stuff well. Learn great songs, not just difficult songs, find a balance of learning things you love and also learning the things you need to know to be a good musician - and practice it all to a metronome. Know your basic rudiments/chords/scales when asked, play in time and play with ease, this is what other musicians are looking for. It doesn't matter if what you play is simple, what matters is that you play it well.  

8. Budget, schedule, research and plan I know right? I'm sorry to be the one to say this to you. It's going to be a lot easier to reach your goals and do what you dream of doing if you set up a business plan, take small, logical steps, and always know what you’re doing, and why.  You are much more likely to get something done if you break it down into small, manageable chunks, figure out how each chunk is going to get done, and set deadlines. To try and keep a band afloat takes serious planning and organisational skills, practice budgeting and time management now, so that when you suddenly need to organise a tour or a new release, you aren't completely overwhelmed.

9. Ask for help People absolutely freaking loooove it when you ask for their advice. Never be afraid of bugging strangers for advice or small favours, as long as you are polite, flattering and succinct. Tell them you are unsure and would love their personal professional advice, not a problem if they are busy, thanks either way etc. If you’re struggling to get gigs or get noticed ask a more established band how they did it, or ask someone in the industry what they’re looking for, and if there's an area you could improve. All they can do is ignore your request, now is not the time to be embarrassed or proud. The same goes with loans or favours. Put yourself across as someone who's trying really hard to do something amazing, and people will want to help you. Be excited about this adventure, so that people want to join in. If you are nice and non-pushy they can only say no. If you are asking for anything from anyone, remember to keep it really, really, really positive, never winge or make excuses, you are there to sell this idea, this excitement of the fact that you are going to work hard, play great songs and change the world. Stay humble and remember you could always do with advice and help from people no matter who you are.

10. Be ok with failure You alone determine your future, even if your current band and the next 10 bands you join all fail. If you are going out there and making mistakes, and struggling through problems, and losing people you thought would help you, and falling on your ass, and starting over again - this is what you are meant to be doing. Breathe, you're doing just fine.  This is the amazing journey that’s been put out in front of you to mould you into a greater musician, a savvier entrepreneur, and a better and stronger person. This is your chance to prove to yourself how much you really want this.  I’ve seen so many amazing bands that gave up, just because they had a couple of setbacks or someone left the band, or it was too hard for them. This is the most common thing that will pull your competition down, and the longer you hold on without giving up, the more your competition will begin to fall away while you're still learning and becoming better than ever. If you don’t give up then you have a greater chance than anybody else around you. This could be the one thing that means you make it when other people don't. Hold on.  Beth Munroe is an Indietronica artist signed to WMTH Records. She is a guitarist, singer and songwriter, and has been a gigging musician for 10 years. She studied Guitar and Songwriting at the Brighton Institute of Modern Music, and has since been touring new material. For more see her social media: BethMunroeMusic.co.uk Facebook.com/BethMunroeMusic Instagram.com/BethMunroeMusic

[unplacedpodcast]

Chapter Eight: Vindication (Transcript)

Sorry for the delayed transcript again! I had houseguests visiting and boy howdy having friends over for six days straight while also constantly doing things is exhausting and will fry your brain! 

Here’s the transcript! We will be returning for season two but I’m not sure when - I would like to think March or April but it’s very likely that that is my characteristic overambitiousness showing through. In the meantime, I’ll keep you posted on progress, and if you have any questions (whether about the story/world or any of our processes behind the scenes), feel free to send them in - Cole, Brendan, and I are gonna do a Q&A episode during the hiatus! 

Anyways okay without further ado here we go, spoilers ahead: 

(CW for self-harm [not suicidal/depressed self-harm, but intentionally cutting a hand] and homophobic slurs)

(audio dings on, narrator sounds tired but wired - think sleep deprived meets way too much espresso)

I think it’s showtime, y’all.

I’ve been up for almost a day straight…I hope I’m not forgetting anything. I just - I couldn’t sleep. I was afraid if I went to sleep…I don’t know what I was afraid of. That I would lose my nerve, or that I’d have more nightmares about that woman, about not being able to help her.

At any rate, as soon as I finished doing my research, I went out and got supplies. I had to go all over town…I tell you, it’s harder finding iron nails than you’d think. (wry chuckle) Apparently there’s some kind of a market for artisanal blacksmithery, though, so I did find some eventually.

After all the research, my supply list wasn’t that long. Two or three things, really. I think it’s more of a matter of…well, just hoping it’ll work, than anything else. If it doesn’t…I don’t know what I’ll do. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get away. But I also don’t think that I’ll wind up a suicidal husk like that other woman. I could be wrong - but I think if they wanted to do that to me, or could do that to me, that probably would have been their game plan from day one. When I sucker-punched that thing with my hematite-knuckles, I feel like that would have been it for me, if sucking me dry was an option. Granted, given the burns still covering my hand, I’m not sure what the alternative is - but at least it’ll probably be quicker than that.

If this is gonna be it for me, then it’s gonna be it, and I…I’m not really fine with that, but it’s better than continuing to exist like this, not knowing what’s going on, not knowing how long it will last, just…having to watch these things eat people from the inside out and being the only one that knows it’s happening. I can’t do that.

(sound of things rustling in background, metal clinking on glass)

Enough of that talk, though. Like I said, I’ve got my supplies, and I’m setting them up as we speak. I’m on the edge of a park, close to downtown…it’s not a huge park, by any means, but I needed a tree, and this was the best way to have one near a populated area. I need to be able to make it back here quickly once I find someone with a leech, after all.

The trap itself…not that hard to set. I did have to do a whole lot of googling on macrame art, which was not where I expected this journey to take me. Also, the blood was a little difficult. Getting more than a drop or two of blood without seriously injuring yourself is a lot harder than they make it look in the movies. Oh, if only I’d listened to my mom and gone to nursing school.

Anyways…I think that’s it. The trap is set. Obviously, I’m the bait. Now, it’s time to find the prey.

(sounds of movement and walking in background, her breathing pattern changes as she’s walking until otherwise noted)

It’s funny, the stuff that comes to you when you’re sleep deprived and possibly on a suicide mission. I remembered this story - I had completely forgotten it, until something reminded me of it earlier - from when I was young…probably like, eleven or twelve. In that awkward early-middle-school just-hitting puberty stage of life, that spot where you feel like you don’t really know what’s going on with you or with anyone else, but you have this sneaking suspicion that everyone else knows, and they’re never going to let you in on the secret…

There was this girl that was my friend. We weren’t close, but we hung out sometimes. She wasn’t super popular, but she wasn’t unpopular, either. Our lockers were right by each other, though, so we said hi on a pretty regular basis.

I had to make a pit stop at my locker between classes, and she was standing there, but something was off - there were three or four girls standing around her, blocking her in. I didn’t like the way they were looking at her — I knew that at least one of the girls wasn’t very nice. As I walked up, I heard the conversation - they were making fun of her for the holes in her jeans.

This girl - Leanne - her family didn’t have a ton of money, and these other girls had decided to remind her of that. I tried to ignore the conversation for a minute - I didn’t want to get into a whole thing, and I wasn’t super close with her, like I said. Also, I had books to get and a class to go to. But after a minute or two of “seriously, how old are those jeans?” and tittering, I couldn’t hold back any more.

“Weren’t you wearing jeans with huge holes in them the other day, Emily?,” I said, poking my face around my locker door.

She turned to look at me. “Yeah, but they were Hollister jeans, okay? That’s different from miss head to toe Goodwill over here.”

“So…it’s cool to spend tons of money on jeans that are already missing half their fabric, but not okay to spend $10 on the same pair of jeans?”

Emily scrunched her nose up, clearly not having thought this through. “Well, when was the last time you saw her wear anything other than store brand, then?,” she said, jerking her thumb at Leanne, who was standing with her back against the lockers, silent and staring at the floor.

“You know that when you buy something with a huge logo on the front, you’re paying the brand to advertise for them, right? That doesn’t make any sense to me. But as my mom always says, money can buy you everything except for common sense.”

I shrugged and turned back around to my locker to finish getting my books. Behind me, Emily, the mean ringleader, kind of stuttured. It was pretty obvious that she hadn’t been expecting a response at all. Trying to save face, she muttered “whatever” and turned around to stomp off, with her friends following her.

I was so proud - I got rid of a bully with logic! I didn’t have to fight, or even raise my voice. But when I looked at Leanne, the pride evaporated. Her face was bright red and she looked ragingly pissed off. She took a step towards me, getting uncomfortably close, and said, loud enough for everyone around me to hear, “Stay out of my business. I don’t need your help, you fucking dyke.”

I didn’t know what that word meant then, but I knew it was something bad and dirty from the way she said it. My face went hot and I got that pricking sensation in my eyes, the one you get when you can feel the tears coming, but you’re trying hard to fight them off. I barely made it to the bathroom before I burst into tears, and when I got to my next class, it was obvious I’d been crying. I got to hear about that later, of course, from the mean girl and her friends, along with some other choice insults - a little birdie must have told them what it was that made me run to the bathroom crying.

(narrator stops moving for a moment, breathing starts to return to normal)

I’m here, I think. No convenient stairs around this time, but I have a decent vantage spot from this bench…I’m not that far from the park, either. Now, I just have to wait however long it takes to find a person with a hitchhiker, and then…goad it into chasing me, I guess.

(brief pause)

I told the story to my mom later that day, after I got home from school. I just wanted to know why, you know? I was so upset, because all I wanted was to do and say the right thing. I wanted to help…and I thought that was what I had been doing. But maybe I didn’t know what doing the right thing meant, or maybe I did it wrong.

I told her all of this, and she hugged me, and she said, “Rashida, you didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes, the world is just a cruel place. And when it’s like that - when people are like that - the best thing we can do is try to help, and try to do what’s right, the best we know how. And that’s what you did. I’m proud of you.”

And then she kissed me on the head, and told me to go work on my homework, and I did.

I haven’t thought of that story in years. It’s funny - the stuff we do when we’re kids, before the world makes us forget who we can be.

I hope she’d be proud of me now.

(pause, deep breath in and slow exhale)

It’s probably…five in the morning now. Five thirty?

(sound of movement - she’s checking her phone)

Five thirty, exactly. The sun isn’t up yet…sunrise should be at 6:02. Can you imagine what people 200 years ago would say, if you told them that we’d be able to carry around tiny devices in our pockets that could tell us exactly what time the sun will rise and set?

The early morning commute crowd is starting to come out. My thinking was that someone here will have to be…yep. I see one. He’s across the road and half a block down.

(sound of movement)

Definitely showtime now. The only thing I need is… (sound of knife clicking) …more blood, because of course that’s what it takes. After all, why would we want to make it easy on me?

(sharp intake of breath, sound of movement)

I’m a few feet behind him now, with a bloody hand. I’ll tell you what’s going on as it happens - I set it up on my phone so that if I don’t edit and upload these files within a few days, they’ll be automatically uploaded and published anyways. Someone will know what happened, assuming people can even find and listen to this, and they’ll be better able to fight these guys in the future. So I gotta keep talking, keep telling you what’s going on, for the good of science and humanity, or something.

I’m right behind him. I’m going to see if I can flick some blood at the - yeah, that got its attention. It’s rearing up…I have to make it follow me.

(talking like you’d talk to a cat or wild animal) C’mere c’mere c’mere, you awful…

(starts running, you can hear the sound of movement/her breathing) Okay, that worked. It’s in pursuit - it’s following the blood I’m dripping on the sidewalk - I just have to make it back to the park - damn these suckers can move!

(sound of panting and running for a second or two, running sound changes from pavement to dirt, she trips and hits the ground)

Fuck, come on, get up, you can do this

(noises of her getting up and running/fast footsteps again)

Whew. I beat it to the tree, just barely. Now, for more blood, have to trick it… (sound of her fumbling with something, glass and metal clinking together again, then moving and brushing up against the tree)

(whispering) Okay, it followed me - it’s fifteen or twenty feet away. I was worried it would lose interest and go back to the host, but I guess fresh blood…these things must track by smell. I don’t think it can hear me, at any rate. I’m hiding behind the tree, and I set the trap.

I did all that reading on spirit bindings, right? You fill a blue bottle with something to throw it off your scent - hair and blood - and iron nails, I think to damage it.

I don’t know if it will work, it’s still following the blood trail - it’s moving a little slower, maybe because the blood isn’t as fresh. (whispering drops even lower) It’s checking out the bottle. It’s - yes, it’s going inside!

(muffled sound of movement, metal clanging on the ground, hissing in background)

(still whispering, but not as quietly) I think - it’s hard to tell, I think that did it? It went into the bottle - it started to come back out but I think it’s really trapped now.

After doing all that reading, I remembered I’d seen some really cheesy home decor made with iron horseshoes, which apparently has magical origins…when I was looking for the other supplies I hit up every tchotchke shop in town until I found one. I just dropped a circle of iron horseshoes on it - it was starting to climb out of the bottle but I think that extra iron did it in. It drove it back inside the bottle and…

(sound of movement again, sound of glass hitting metal and rattling noises)

THAT BITCH IS CORKED! Take that, you slimy asshole!

Okay, it’s still fighting, but I think it’s in there for good. Now for the bad macrame - a bottle holder made with twine, without any knots in it. That might not have been necessary, but seemed like a good extra step. Better safe than sorry, right?

And now, we hang it on the tree and wait for sunrise. It shouldn’t be long.

That wasn’t…I don’t want to say that wasn’t so bad…but once I knew how to do it, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Except that I didn’t know for sure whether it would work and thought I might wind up being evil-leech food.

I’m definitely a little worse for the wear. My hand that was finally healing from the burns has cuts all over it for this stupid blood sacrifice decoy, I bang up my other hand pretty good in that fall, and I’ve got some bruises…but…I’m alive. I didn’t - I honestly didn’t know if I’d get to see this sunrise.

Speaking of, here it comes. The sun is coming up, I can see it peeking over the horizon. It’s hitting the bottle…

(sound in background of rattling/glass on metal, animal shrieking/hissing noise that gets incredibly loud and then dies off after a few seconds)

Well, that definitely worked. The bottle… (sound of movement as she moves closer to the bottle and takes it off the tree) it’s empty now. Completely empty. No blood, no iron, no hair, no monster…in fact, it looks good as new.

I’ll be taking this with me…my lucky spirit trap. And now…now, aside from killing as many of these things as I can, I’m going to get some answers. I’m going to find her - the one who could see me. I’ll let you know how that goes.

(sound of audio clicking off)