#I remember a quote of her saying 'if I'd known then what I know now....' and I wonder what she meant | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

doylldonmagar · 11 months

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So I saw @hermesmyplatonicbeloved 's post and had some thoughts. I agree and disagree. I am a percabeth fan but I also know that some of it is screwy, and if you are familiar with my blog, you know this. I think RR screwed up and wrote out a LOT of trauma, I think he really should have dealt with that better. I think it's not good that he wrote trauma and mental issues and abuse into the foundation of many characters and then has ignored it when it became convenient for the plot.

I would love to see specific quotes and books for these because some of them I have no memory of and would like to revisit them.

I'm gonna talk my way through all of this so I'm gonna text break here

The first point is Percy scaring her to tears. I can only imagine in Tartarus? Like when they're both in their worst state? I don't know. I agree they should have talked about it, but I think they should have talked about all of HoH, which brings me back to saying: Rick really failed at dealing with trauma and processing and long term effects. Honestly, being scared *of* him, yeah I agree that's bad, but is that the situation? If she's scared by his power, then I'm not sure of where I stand on this, I don't know anyone with demigod powers, but I don't think I'd be scared simply because I know someone is capable of hurting me. Plenty of people are capable of hurting me. Like I don't know, what situation is this?

"Percy has been suicidal the whole time annabeth has known him, in BoO Percy attempts suicide and annabeth said nothing, noticed nothing" I'd really like a page or quote because i remember him being suicidal but never attempting. (Im rereading what i wrote, is this maybe referring to percy deciding it would be better if he drowned when hes with Jason? If so, I thought the book said annabeth wasn't told that he wanted to give up) But really my bigger issue with this statement is the fact that it's not necessarily a bad relationship just because a person doesn't realize someone is suicidal, or if their suicidal thoughts are fluctuating. If he's been suicidal the entire time she's known him, how should she know? And why is it the girlfriend's job to stop him from suicide? Like yeah she should care, but that's not her responsibility. No one should feel responsible for a significant other's suicide unless they encouraged the SO to do it.

The judo flip, I agree, annabeth should have been more sensitive to Percy's past and again, I blame Rick for conveniently forgetting that an abused kid is not going to laugh or even take well to being thrown on the ground. This also reminds me of a post I made a while back, because I was so frustrated by media portrayals of women getting upset (usually worried) about another character and shaking them or hitting them or using some form of violence, and that's portrayed as acceptable and normal and as a sign of love. I'm not a fan of that.

"Annabeth likes to keep percy on his toes" this point, I want specific quotes, cause I'd like to go over it again. I agree this is funky. Percy says he feels more comfortable with annabeth and feels like he can talk to her blah blah, but yeah, I think I remember him saying she makes him anxious and that's a problem for me. Like genuinely, to anyone who reads this: if your SO makes you feel uncomfortable, anxious, nervous, or unsafe, please reevaluate your relationship and be safe. That's not good. And back to percabeth, I'm really not sure why RR would say that.

Bringing up abusive stepfather. If annabeth didn't already know about Gabe...I don't know, that says to me that percy was too traumatized to talk about it, in which case, why can annabeth see it in his actions, his comments, his reactions? I don't know that either. But I do know that having met my fair share of traumatized kids, it's not at all uncommon for them to share trauma as a joke and for multiple kids to laugh it off, not to mention suicidal jokes or jokes about their own abuse. Now I want to be clear, I'm not saying that's healthy, I think that's bad, but I also think it's common. And if annabeth doesn't realize what he's really talking about, or is caught up in her own experience, or is uncomfortable, laughing is not an uncommon response. And I don't think that makes their relationship toxic. (And I'm saying it again: I think Rick wrote that so that people could say oh poor percy and feel strongly about how horrible the situation is, but he didn't want to get into the trauma, so by annabeth laughing it off, he can move on with the scene but include little details that show how bad tartarus is)

I don't remember any comments about poseiden, but I agree her interactions with Tyson are problematic. I have zero explanation or excuse, I really don't know what rick was thinking with that, unless it was maybe a way to signify how all halfbloods feel about monsters? (Now that I've said that, that kinda makes sense, if percy sees a monster who was his human friend, but everyone else just sees a monster who is just like the other monsters who have killed their siblings. But still. Annabeth saying he was gross was uncalled for, Rick could have said she was scared or concerned this was a trick or something, but disgust?)

I agree about Percy's unresolved trauma manifesting as fear of annabeth. I already commented on the judo flip, see comments above.

Percy absolutely has horrible self asteem. I'm not sure that's annabeths problem. Yeah she should support him in every way she can, but it's not her responsibility or anyone else's to make him feel better about himself. She should want to, and she should be positive and encouraging, but I don't think Percy's lack of growth is her problem or necessarily a sign of a toxic relationship. It can be, but I'm not certain it is in this case. I think, as I'm sure you know if you've read this much, Rick doesn't know how to write characters who are further along in their trauma- processing, healing, discussing- rick fails to deal with anything besides a currently traumatized kid and a unresolved but out of the directly abusive situation. (This is where I'd like to note, the whole seaweed brain thing, not funny to me, not cute. I'm not a fan because I do think that encourages negative self image. I am aware that that could be link to annabeths childhood, but again, I would expect her to be hyperaware of this sort of emotional abuse. And I blame Rick. Why does she never have her actual abuse mentioned?)

I don't recall annabeth pushing percy to choose between them. I would have said she had doubts about him still wanting to go to CA and he said that he regretted not being there for Estelle but didn't want to be without annabeth (which is kinda cute, kinda codependent to me, and I agree, codependency is not cute)

I would argue the last point "Percy has no interest in going to New Rome or University" is clearly false. In SoN (2nd book of HOO) Percy discovers there are full families living in New Rome, and how it's safe there, and he says multiple times that he wants that, how he remembers he had a girlfriend named annabeth and he wants her to be there and wants to be able to settle down *there*. And in ChaliceotG he's torn, because he does want to stay in New York for his mom and sister, but he really wants to be with annabeth and he loves new Rome. He says multiple times how he wants to go to New Rome. Its true, if the only reason he wants to go is for annabeth, that's a bit funky. But new Rome is the safest place for demigods, and he's been in wars for years, of course he wants that. And wanting to be out of school- okay? New Rome isn't just about the university, not to mention the New Rome university is focused on kids with dyslexia and adhd, obviously. So it will be tailored to him, his struggles are understood, accepted, and aided. Who wouldn't see the appeal in that?

And finally, I agree, that if a character or couple is going to have broad reach, they should be healthy. That's a problem i have with Colleen hoover and all her toxic relationships that have a large audience and are so loved by that audience. And back to this, I hate that the pjo hoo couples are so focused on in the books because fans always pay attention to the couples, but the focus amplifies them, and I think having a relationship be the main focus of a kids/teen/ya book sets up horrible mindsets, and idolizes relationships and all in all is not good for kids. Percabeth or not, healthy or not, I don't think the emphasis on relationships is good.

I might link some of my other posts that I mentioned or that address similar issues in the reblogs

#percy jackson abuse #pjo thoughts #pjo fandom #pjo series #pjo hoo toa #pjo #percy jackson thoughts #percy jackson #anti percabeth #percy jackon and the olympians

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rosanna-writer · 9 months

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we said hello and your eyes look like coming home (18/?)

Summary: A canon-divergent AU where the bond snaps for Rhys on Calanmai, Feyre unwittingly accepts it, and Fire Night magic proves to be more transformative than anyone bargained for. Feyre drags a mate she hardly knows out from Under the Mountain, then puts him back together as war with Hybern approaches. Warnings: dubious consent, canon-typical sexual violence, canon-typical violence Rating: Explicit Chapter Word Count: ~5k

Content warning for the aftermath of a massacre and preparation of bodies for burial in this chapter. Some dialogue is pulled directly from A Court of Mist and Fury, and the poem quoted in this chapter is Tithonus by Alfred, Lord Tennyson.

On a lighter note, shout-out to @thesistersarcheron for beast Rhys tongue inspo and to @popjunkie42 for all her Feysand poetry thoughts <3

Read on AO3 or you can find the eighteenth chapter below the readmore.

Rhys halted, taking in Mor's news. "Who," he said, and I hadn't known such utter rage could be conveyed in a single word.

I set the paintbrush down and stepped closer, feeling sick. If the priestesses were anything like the ones I'd come to know at the library…

At that thought, both our anger surged down the mating bond, and it felt as if my chest had been set ablaze. There had already been too much senseless violence Under the Mountain.

"We don't know," Mor said. "Azriel is investigating now."

Rhys began to pace. He'd hidden his wings to avoid them dragging on the floor when he'd sat with me, but shadows rolled off his shoulders as they appeared again, almost involuntarily.

But his voice was still soft as he said, "Does he have any initial theories?"

"You know Azriel—he won't say until he has enough information in hand to be sure. Cassian is pissed, though. He’s convinced it must be one of the rogue Illyrian war-bands, intent on winning new territory."

The rest of the Inner Circle must have heard this news first, then. I watched Rhys carefully for a reaction, unsure if that was how things were typically done. He didn't seem any more agitated than before, and I took that as a positive sign.

"I'm worried he may be correct."

"What are your orders?"

"For tonight, there's nothing to be done in Illyria that we aren't already doing. I'll discuss everything with Cassian in the morning. Mor, you and Amren will assist Azriel with whatever information-gathering he needs done. Be ready to field questions from other courts as news spreads. I'll inform Clotho myself and handle incoming correspondence."

Mor's eyes slid to me, and I nearly jumped—she'd been so focused on Rhys that I'd assumed she'd forgotten I was there. "Cesere is within the Night Court's borders. It falls to us to handle this alongside the priestesses," she said, obviously for my benefit.

"How can I help?" I said, fully expecting to be told to stay out of the way.

"The priestesses at the library will need assistance. Our kind bury our dead as swiftly as possible and keep watch until funeral rites are complete. It will mean something to have you there, Feyre, even if you're only comfortable sitting through the service as a representative of my Inner Circle," Rhys said.

There had been no similar sense of urgency among the mortals. When my mother died, there had been a wake, and for several days before her burial, our house had been full of friends and family paying their last respects. I wasn't surprised to hear things the fae did things differently.

For a moment, my mind flashed back to the sight of Tamlin carrying the bloodied corpse of a Summer Court faerie out of the manor. Tonight would be more of the same. And Rhys was giving me an out to avoid the grisly work if I couldn't stomach it.

I didn't hesitate. "I'll do whatever's necessary," I said. If the priestesses needed me to spend the night digging graves, I would.

With one last promise to keep Rhys informed, Mor winnowed away, and there was nothing left to do but head to the library. Before long, Rhys had left to make arrangements for increased security at the other temples, and I made my way down to the spare rooms near the dormitories to help in whatever way I could.

Merrill, a silver-haired scholar I'd once overheard terrorizing a research assistant, was organizing the efforts and barked out orders at me. I rolled up the sleeves of my tunic and got to work.

The carnage turned out to be exactly as horrific as we'd feared. And in Prythian, a land of immortals, there were no morgues or funeral homes. The gore, the obvious evidence of violence…for many of the priestesses, it brought back too many dark memories for them to even approach the bodies.

I choked back bile as I wiped tear tracks from cold cheeks and scrubbed dried blood from every body part imaginable. Gently, I slid soiled nightgowns and torn robes from stiff limbs and replaced them with shrouds. It was difficult, with the extent of some of the injuries, to create any sort of illusion of peaceful repose; whoever had done this hadn't made these deaths quick or painless.

As we worked, the sisters took turns singing prayers. I didn't recognize the language, but I sensed that it was ancient, the tune slow and mournful and in a key I'd never heard before. Down here, surrounded by the red rock of the mountain and no windows, the repetition was the only thing marking the passage of time.

Eventually, all the bodies were laid out in neat rows—too many rows, the scale of the devastation laid painfully bare. Each was clean and covered in a white linen shroud, ready for burial. For a moment, I just sat with the heavy awareness that each one of the bundles was a life—a world, really—that had been snuffed out. So much loss, just to loot a trove.

Rhys hadn't exaggerated when he'd said the fae moved quickly—as soon as the work was finished, I followed the rest of the priestesses towards the sanctuary for the service. I hadn't expected it to be so soon; one of the sisters caught my look of surprise and gently explained that according to faerie traditions, the soul was in a state of confusion between death and burial, and it was cruel to let it linger like that any longer than absolutely necessary.

The sanctuary was a massive cavern, full of dark wood pews surrounding a plain dais at the center. Though about half of the mourners finding their seats were priestesses, all in their identical pale blue robes, faeries from Velaris were there as well. The news had spread, then.

There were more prayers and singing in that strange, ancient language. No instruments, only voices that echoed in the cavern, beautiful yet melancholy. A candle was lit for each slain priestess as their names we read out one by one.

Unable to follow it, I stood and sat in time with everyone else and allowed my mind to wander. The bond had been quiet—presumably, Rhys was busy but otherwise fine—so I took in the assortment of faeries who'd come to pay their respects.

Perhaps it shouldn't have been such a surprise, but I recognized a few of them. Evelyn, the priestess who'd been teaching me to read, had nodded hello, and I spotted faeries I'd seen a few times in the library or out in the city. I doubted every single one of them knew any of the victims; this was just the community coming together.

That thought made Velaris feel a bit more like…home.

And though Rhys hadn't said it outright—and seemed so intent on not pressuring me that I doubted he ever would—I wondered if attending a vigil like this was something expected of the Lady of the Night Court. Since we'd decided to keep it a secret, we hadn't spoken about my title at all. Or any obligations that came with it. My lack of understanding of the situation when I accepted the bond didn't make me any less of a High Lord's mate, though.

My family's money had run out when I'd turned eleven—my sisters had been the ones raised to be ladies. They'd been the ones expected to someday be the wife of a rich, powerful man, to run households and host balls and busy themselves with charity work that made their husbands look good. I was just the hopeless, half-wild heathen.

Rhys loved me, had confidence in me like no one else, and I doubted I could ever be a failure in his eyes. That wasn't true for the rest of Prythian. I didn't take representing him lightly, especially not for something like this.

Before my thoughts could spiral any further, the funeral ended. The bodies had been winnowed to the graveyard, and there was nothing left to do. It was the middle of the night when I headed towards the townhouse.

I reached down the bond for Rhys as I walked, careful not to startle him. The thread between us went taut anyway, and I could sense that he was instantly on alert.

I didn't even give him a chance to ask if something was wrong I'm fine, home soon. Do you need anything else from me?

Go rest while you can. I've sent Azriel, Mor, and Amren to do the same.

But you aren't? I wouldn't let him talk around it.

I am High Lord, and some things can't be delegated.

For once, he didn't sound arrogant, just matter-of-fact. There was no point in attempting to mother-hen him out of finishing whatever he was obligated to complete tonight, so I didn't bother. I sent a pulse of affection down the bond, assuming that was the end of the conversation.

But he added, None of us liked the thought of you in the townhouse alone. Mor is there.

I was so unused to being looked after that I almost asked why anyone would be concerned. But Mor had mentioned them all being duty-bound and overprotective on my first day here, so perhaps it shouldn't have been a surprise.

And at least it wasn't Amren babysitting me.

Something pleasantly warm crossed the bond, along with the strange sensation of a soft kiss pressed to the back of my mind. Then Rhys's shields went back up, and the rest of my walk home was uneventful.

Mor was in the living room when I arrived. At first, I'd thought she must have just been waiting to make sure I'd gotten home safely, but before she'd turned around at the sound of my footsteps, I'd noticed the empty wineglass and the way she'd absentmindedly pressed a hand to her lower abdomen. And then I understood—I wasn't the only one who was better off with company tonight.

I'd never asked about the scar I'd seen peeking out from the waistband of Mor's pants on days she wore something that bared her midriff. She would have covered it if she'd been ashamed, but…it seemed private. Some of the priestesses laid to rest that night had been ripped open in the same place, and I could guess what weighed on Mor.

But still, she brightened immediately at the sight of me, the light coming back into her red-rimmed eyes. I sank into the chair next to her.

"It was good to finally see you painting earlier," she said, voice warm.

I shrugged. "It was just a decoration, not something on canvas or paper. It doesn't really count." Flowers on a table were a start, but it wasn't quite the same as capturing an image that had plagued my mind or using paint to express a feeling that words couldn't.

She nudged me with an elbow. "It was also the happiest I've ever seen you. That counts for something too, you know."

For a while, Mor and I talked about nothing consequential. We both needed it. After everything we'd witnessed, it helped to pretend for a while that nothing was wrong. It made the violence feel more distant, enough that I was able to fall asleep when we both went upstairs, even without Rhys back.

My sleep was fitful, but each time I woke, a caress of talons against my mind—and once, loud purring and a wet scrape against my shields that would have made me think I was being groomed by a cat if it weren't for the forked tongue and rustle of feathers—relaxed me enough to drift off again.

It was nearly midmorning when I got out of bed, the latest I ever managed to sleep. I sensed that Rhys was nearby, and I followed the bond down to the kitchen, where I found him sitting at the table, head in his hands and wings drooping. He didn't look up at me.

"How bad is it?" I said, lingering in the doorway. It was late enough that he must have already spoken with Cassian.

He rubbed at his temples. "No definitive answers. I'd hoped there would be proof that this was nothing more than rogue war-bands that can be put down. Whoever it was knew what they were doing and covered their tracks. It could still very well just be Illyrians…or an act of war."

My blood ran cold. I knew it was foolish to think that killing Amarantha had ended the danger—she had been connected to Hybern, and Rhys and the rest of the Inner Circle had already discussed the possibility of opportunists taking advantage of a weakened Prythian after fifty years of Amarantha's rule. But something about Rhys putting it so plainly suddenly made it hard to breathe.

Before I could say anything, Rhys continued, "This needs to be dealt with swiftly, so I've moved up my visit to the Court of Nightmares. I'll go tonight, take tomorrow to plan. Cassian, Azriel, and I will hunt down the war-bands that are hiding out in the forests."

I knew Rhys—the security of the Night Court was at stake, so he'd find a way to push through it, even though I doubted he was ready to face the very court Amarantha had modeled hers after and his wings were still weakened. He'd tear open as many wounds as he needed to keep his people safe.

But perhaps…I could make sure he didn't have to.

I crossed the room, standing next to the chair and looping an arm around his shoulders to pull him close. He curled a wing around me and hid his face in my shoulder.

"If war comes, we'll face it. Together," I whispered against his hair as plans formed in my mind.

He said nothing, too overwhelmed to do anything but tug on the bond. I held him like that for a while, and with my shields firmly in place, I considered how exactly I'd lighten those burdens for him. Neither one of us was alone anymore.

"Have you slept at all?" I said eventually.

He sat back, tipping his head up to look at me. "No. It's—"

"Then go rest, Rhys."

"Is that an order?" Something sparked in his eyes, and I could have sworn amusement had crept into his voice.

"The point of this visit is to show your face in the Hewn City again. You need all the beauty sleep you can get."

His lips twitched—not quite a smile, but close to it. My hand had been resting on his shoulder, and as he stood, I let it trail down his arm. He interlaced our fingers, and for a moment, just from the way his eyes went soft as he looked at me, I was sure he was about to ask me to come to bed with him, risk of slashing talons during a nightmare be damned.

I would have said yes. And even if he never asked, I still had half a mind to follow him upstairs anyway, just to give into the feral, protective instinct to keep watch while my mate slept.

But Rhys didn't ask. Instead he pressed a kiss to my knuckles and said, "Make sure you eat something."

I knew what that meant. "I love you, too."

He squeezed my hand once, then winnowed upstairs. For the next few hours, I could feel through the bond that he'd at least managed to catnap before he had to leave. I had things to do as well, but I wouldn't let Rhys sleep in an empty house, either. And I did need to eat. So I paced the townhouse restlessly with food in hand.

Then once Rhys left, my first order of business was making my way to the House of Wind.

I could have asked him to bring me there—and probably saved myself the trouble of climbing ten thousand steps again—but for now, I didn't want to tell him exactly why I wanted to go. As I climbed and climbed, I hoped my assumptions about who might be in the training ring were correct.

And they were. "Is everything alright, Feyre?" Azriel said, without turning from the target he was sinking a dagger into.

"I'm fine," I said, and at the very least it was true that I wasn't in danger. "I wanted to speak to you."

"Now?"

"Yes. While Rhys is busy." That finally got Azriel to drag his attention away from target practice. The way his gaze swept over me was an obvious assessment, as if he was cataloging all the information he found at the sight of me. I didn't mind. When Azriel didn't say anything, I added, "I think I should come with when you go to Illyria."

I'd half-expected him to immediately tell me no, that it was too dangerous. But Azriel tipped his head to the side and asked, "What makes you say that?"

I sat down at the edge of the ring, more grateful than ever that Rhys surrounded himself with the type of people who'd hear me out. Azriel sheathed the dagger and sat down beside me.

"I know I can't take on an Illyrian, and I'm not stupid enough to try," I said, choosing my words carefully, "but I'm concerned it will be difficult for him if we're separated again so soon after….everything. You and Cassian will need him to focus, and he can't afford to make a mistake and appear weak."

Azriel was silent again, clearly mulling it over, but I couldn't read much of a reaction from him beyond that. It was unsettling to consider much that impassive face could be hiding. If I didn't trust already him, I would have nervously blurted out all of my thoughts right then and there.

"It's an angle to consider. Is there…something you had in mind to do while you're there?"

It was a valid question, though I hadn't expected Azriel to ask how I intended to ensure I wasn't a deadweight so tactfully. And at least I had an answer prepared.

"Let me hunt so the three of you can focus on the task at hand instead of trying to feed yourselves or carry rations. You'll get done faster."

Azriel raised an eyebrow. I was ready to remind him that I was still a competent enough tracker to avoid anyone in the woods I might not want to run into. My muscles tensed almost involuntarily, my body preparing for a fight.

But instead he said, more gently than I'd ever heard him, "Tell me why you really want to go."

I stared out at the mountains in the distance and thought about what to say. Even though I knew there was nothing to be ashamed of, it was still difficult to find the words. Azriel just waited, patient as ever.

"I need to be outside for a few days straight. After— After being stuck in that cell, I just want to be able to pick a direction and run, somewhere there's so much space that I'll tire myself out before I find a single building."

I almost told him that I didn't want to sit behind in Velaris and wait for Rhys to come back, but that seemed cruel, all things considered. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Az rub his thumb along the spot on his hand where the scarring was the most obvious.

"I know the feeling," he said quietly. I started to respond, but he added, "You can't scream in Velaris, at least not without scaring the neighbors. But if you ever need to…let it out, I'll show you the empty places in the Illyrian Steppes."

Azriel knew. Just like with Mor's scars, I'd never asked about his, but whatever had happened, he'd been confined in the dark once. I hadn't realized it—I'd come to him first because he'd supported me trapping the Suriel on my first day in the Night Court.

"Thank you."

"You haven't brought this up to your mate, have you?"

There was no accusation there. Azriel's voice was even, and I had the sense he was just…gathering more information.

"Not yet. I wanted to see what you and Cassian thought first."

A single nod. "Prudent."

"Do you think it's a good idea, then? For me to go?" I said, once the silence stretched on long enough that it was clear he wasn't going to elaborate.

"It's worth discussing. Even after the frenzy, mated males are…volatile."

Azriel shifted awkwardly, tucking his wings in tight. And I understood—I didn't particularly want to discuss the mating frenzy, either. Especially not with someone who was more or less family. But after the way Rhys had growled at Cassian over me, we were right to consider what those instincts might mean, whether being apart or potential danger in the woods was a bigger risk.

I thanked him again and got up to leave, but the sound of Azriel's voice, midnight-dark and more stern than I'd ever heard it, stopped me in my tracks. "Where do you think you're going?" I turned, and Azriel had already gotten up from where he was sitting and unsheathing another blade. "You climbed ten thousand steps to get up here, so make it worth your while and work on your knife skills."

Azriel had earned that reputation as a hard bastard. Even today, I wasn't going to get out of training.

And if war was coming, I'd need all the training I could get. I took the knife and got to work, if only for a short lesson.

When we finished, Azriel flew me to the townhouse, and Rhys wasn't back yet. That was fine—there was still more I needed to do. The chances of a nightmare were too high that he'd share a bed with me that night. But he needed sleep, and he'd said that I smelled like safety.

I was used to hiding my scent, not spreading it. With the glamour on me, I wasn't even sure my idea would work, but it seemed worth a try, even if it did make me feel faintly ridiculous.

I dug my clothes out of the laundry and tucked them in the corners of Rhys's room. When I'd hunted, I'd kept a specific set of clothes for the woods and washed them as infrequently as possible, minimizing the scent of laundry soap. If it worked in the forest…maybe it might work here.

Then I hesitated, just for a moment, to touch the bed. Before, I'd only ever ventured into his bedroom when Rhys had a nightmare, and I couldn't quite shake the feeling that this was somehow a violation, ridiculous as that was when there was an unbreakable thread connecting our souls and my bite marks made him preen.

I pushed those thoughts aside and crawled under the covers. Trying my best to be thorough, I rolled around and rubbed my hair against both sides of the pillow. I repeated the process under both the sheet and the duvet for good measure, then made the bed and spent some time on top of it.

I hoped it was enough. I doubted we'd take a sleeping draught tonight; being difficult to rouse if there was another emergency was too much of a risk.

By the time I finished, it was getting late, and I wasn't sure now was the time for Rhys to come home and find me waiting in his bed, even if it was…tempting. I filed that thought away for another time.

I was still restless—too long without anything to do, and I found myself thinking of the slain priestesses again, the sight of mutilated bodies flashing across my mind again. In search of another distraction, I wandered back to the living room and looked at the bookshelves lining the walls. I'd never paid much attention to them before. But apparently Rhys considered them mine too, and perhaps there was something worth copying for handwriting practice.

I pulled the book with the most cracks in the spine off the shelf, idly wondering if it was his favorite. I'd ask, but…misplaced shame still made it difficult to talk about reading. Still curious, I flipped it open to a random page and struggled through what appeared to be poetry.

The woods decay, the woods decay and fall,

The vapours weep their burthen to the ground…

I scowled and put the book back. Years of hunting had been more than enough decaying woods for a lifetime, and I wasn't sure I wanted to know what a burthen was.

I tried another book and found more poetry—Cauldron, how much of it did Rhys read? But the words were shorter, which I felt better about, so I found a pen and paper and brought the book to the roof with me. The full moon and the light of the stars and Velaris were enough to read by.

I didn't pay much attention to what the poem was about, just focused on copying the letters as neatly as possible. Something about the work and sitting under the stars was strangely meditative.

But I didn't relax completely until I heard a soft rustle of wings and turned to see Rhys landing a few feet away. Something inside me settled. Perhaps some of my restlessness had just been the mating bond railing at him being away, even for only a few hours.

Rhys nearly always looked elegant, but for the Hewn City, there wasn't a single speck of color on him. There was no sheen to the fine black fabric of his suit, no embroidery like he often favored, just cloth so dark it seemed to gobble the light, buttoned up to hide his tattoos. The night itself clung to him more tightly than usual.

His grip on his power was still a bit looser than usual, and though it was faint, I felt familiar darkness reaching for me.

I watched his feet touch the ground, the movement far more graceful than the last time I'd seen it. For a moment, I just savored it—the wingspan, the promise of death in just the way he carried himself, my blood singing in answer to the darkness rippling from him.

I almost didn't notice the ebony crown. He'd never worn one in front of me before.

"Is there magic keeping that on your head," I said, "or did you have to learn to fly without it falling off?"

He snorted. "Hello, Feyre."

A flick of his wrist as he sank into the chair next to mine, and the crown disappeared and the top button of his jacket loosened itself. His gaze landed on the open book and notepad in my lap. Before he could ask about it, I said, "How did it go?"

"I didn't have to make an example of anyone, so as well as could reasonably be expected," he said, rolling his shoulders with a pinched expression on his face.

No violence, then. It felt like the first respite in a while.

We sat on the roof and talked for a while about nothing in particular, a silent understanding passing between us that we both didn't want to feel enclosed or alone. I summoned up the courage to ask about the books downstairs; my visible relief at the lack of dirty limericks Tamlin favored made Rhys snicker and tell me the awful verses were still a mercy compared to fiddle music.

Until he'd spat those last two words like a curse, I hadn't realized I'd put enough distance between myself and the Spring Court to joke about it. Despite everything that had happened in the last day, I felt…lighter.

Exhaustion still settled over both of us as we'd talked, and in just the set of his shoulders and wings, I could see the way being underground had taken something out of him. It was an early night.

As I slid into bed, I was tired enough that I'd nearly forgotten what I'd done in Rhys's room earlier. But his voice floated into my mind, as if a night-kissed wind carried it through the crack in my shields I'd left for him.

Feyre darling…

"Yes?" I said aloud. He'd hear it from across the hall.

Do I want to know what you were doing that involved rolling around in my sheets and leaving your socks for me to find?

My cheeks heated, and even though couldn't see it, I rolled over and hid my face in the pillow anyway. "Tonight might be another bad night. I thought my scent might help. Because I can't…"

For the length of a heartbeat, the bond lit up with gratitude. Then there was a dip in the bed next to me, and Rhys's arms were banding around my chest and pulling me to him. He'd winnowed right to me.

"You are impossible to stay away from when you're being brilliant," he murmured against my hair.

I nearly asked him to stay. But I knew it was hard enough for him to let me in enough to see the aftermath of a nightmare, and that was when there was no risk to me. He didn't say it, but…I suspected he was only holding me until I fell asleep.

I twisted in his arms so we were face-to-face, then kissed him gently. "It won't always be like this. The bad nights will be behind us eventually."

He sighed and let his head tip forward until our foreheads were touching. I closed my eyes and let my breathing slow, warm and comfortable. We stayed like that for a long time, until he finally winnowed back to his room.

I scooted over to the warm spot he'd left, already aching for him. It would still be a while before my thoughts stopped racing enough for me to finally drift off, but Rhys didn't need to know that. I'd pretend anything at all to give him peace of mind.

Sleep finally claimed me as his side of the bed went cold again.

#feysand #feyre archeron #we said hello and your eyes look like coming home #if you're wondering about the chapter title feyre uses her socks as a feliway diffuser for rhys in this one

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7grandmel · 6 months

Text

Todays rip: 09/05/2024

A Balcony atop the Labyrinth of Lights

Season 8 No Album Release (Read More)

Ripped by Emm Bee Sea

youtube

Requested by Fezaki! (Request Form)

Remember back on guess what????????, when I talked about a "secret" recurring gag on the SiIvaGunner channel that I'd been completely oblivious to for the longest time? We're talking about another one of those today - only now, its one that I actually have noticed and been decently familiar with. On almost every April 4th since 2021, a certain Mori Calliope's birthday has been celebrated with a small bevvy of rips made in her honor. Funny enough, I've known of this joke since it started despite having no real attachment to Calliope or her music - but the rips themselves have been consistently good enough for me to always remember to check in on the channel on April 4th every year. It would seem as if my efforts paid off in spades this year: A Balcony atop the Labyrinth of Lights, more than celebrating Calliope, doubles as a surprise celebration of SiIvaGunner itself, making it an incredibly rewarding and heartwarming listen to long-time fans like myself.

Which is oddly fitting, when you think about it: I learned in reading up for this post that Mori has been an open fan of the SiIvaGunner channel since a long time ago, and has referenced it openly from time to time. 2022's event for her was notable enough to get a page on the Wiki, and through this she eventually learned of the event's existence in 2023 and was overjoyed seeing all the rips made for it. I've made it clear before that I don't really follow the VTuber scene at all in posts like Shiny Smily TALE, but that mutual love between channels is just so fun to see from a distance - especially given that Morio's original music just so happens to work really well within rips. Given that distance from her channel, end of a life wasn't a tune I'd really heard before tuning in to A Balcony atop the Labyrinth of Lights in particular, but it struck a chord with me that I genuinely wasn't expecting it to. I hate to say it - but it was like a repeat of the exact same feelings I had upon discovering Logan Paul's Shop - only now even moreso, given that it was from an artist I already knew had some genuine merit.

Because yeah, end of a life is a fantastic tune. It's a rather melancholy, reflective piece, where Mori reflects on how many things she's been through in life, her friendships, her opportunities, what she's grateful for, all that which led her to where she is now. That's befitting enough to be used for Balcony - a theme I've already spilled far too much love over back on Balcon Fusion Collab, but one that to summarize also hits those very same thematic beats within Cave Story itself. So that's a slam dunk of a rip concept right out the gate! But if there's anyone who I know knows her SiIvaGunner lore, it would be Emm Bee Sea, someone I've been seeing in the comment sections to just about half of the channel's uploads since way back in Season 2 - and one who's not shy to express her affection for what she loves through rips like Staff Roll (SM64) Fusion. And indeed, through that knowledge, through that love for the channel's life, Emm Bee Sea was able to turn A Balcony atop the Labyrinth of Lights into a celebration of Balcony not just as a theme, but of its eight years worth of rips throughout SiIvaGunner's life.

It might not shock you to learn that Balcony Cruise was not the first rip of the song to be featured on the channel. Cave Story as a game is immensely popular for its music, how much it resonates with the exact kind of person who would also grow attached to SiIvaGunner - hell, Quote as a character in the King for Another Day Tournament was added specifically due to winning the MAGFest 2019 character ballot in vote popularity. And as the chorus begins in A Balcony atop the Labyrinth of Lights, as Mori's vocals continue leading the melody of end of a life forward, keen-eared viewers will identify the melodies being played by Balcony's original lead instrument in the background - The Flintstones theme from Balcony - Cave Story, music by clipping. from balcony., Subwoofer Lullaby from Moog Island...its all remarkably understated, never taking attention away from the central focus of the rip, never turning it into another Fusion Collab. Yet I find that it plays to the theming of end of a life, and to the theming of small-scale celebration of the day as a whole, so beautifully. Not everyone who follows SiIvaGunner cares all that much about this VTuber girl - I myself am far out of my depth there - yet, for those who care to listen in, there's an unmistakable beating heart to A Balcony atop the Labyrinth of Lights that makes listening an absolutely magical experience.

On a personal note...It's easy for me to worry sometimes, having ran this blog for so long, with so many words spilled on the most minute details, that I'm more invested in this whole thing than I should be. I still regularly meet people confused over how this channel could even HAVE "seasons", befuddled as to what there is to be taken seriously in its storytelling let alone that it has theming, and most importantly, unable to see the channel's beating heart of creativity as anything more than a tired running joke. I'm not going to act all superior over other people not "getting it", I know full well that SiIvaGunner is not a channel for everyone. But that's part of what makes getting rips like A Balcony atop the Labyrinth of Lights feel so unbelievably reassuring - to see such unfiltered and pure expressions of love toward not just the entire SiIvaGunner channel, but toward a creator with just as loyal and undying of a fanbase, toward yet another part of the internet many simply "don't get". That the kind of love that I needlessly worry about being too open about is not just allowed to exist, but allowed to flourish, blossom, into something this beautiful. It's the kind of reminder I keep getting from the SiIvaGunner channel at a regular basis, and the kind that'll keep me coming back to this blog through thick and thin.

♫ We were singing at the top of our lungs to the numbness ♫ ♫ This city never died... ♫

#todays siivagunner #season 8 #siivagunner #siiva #Emm Bee Sea #Youtube #cave story #mori calliope #vtuber #indie games #cave story quote #curly brace #mimiga #end of a life #mori calliope music #vtuber music

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 1 year

Note

Hey! Was just in the midst of rereading "Lily" and I had a question about your rewriting process:

Was it hard having to replace all the "Harry Potter" elements? Are things REALLY different from "Lily" the fic, or is it just the basics? Is there still a school for magic?

The most important one, tho, is: Did you change Lily's name? I hope not lol

On another note, REALLY excited for the published book! Which actually brings another question, I looked at the word count, and I don't think you can make all of "Lily" one book, so is it gonna be a trilogy, cuz I remember once you said that there are three main arcs, or is it just gonna be a series?

Sorry about all these questions!

Feels weird answering this without having released anything to the wild yet but why not.

And no worries about the question, it's great to know people are still interested/interested at all. That fic is kind of... my ridiculous pet project gone wild that consumed my account for too many years.

Was it Hard Replacing Things?

Yes.

This was the main trouble/what took so damn long. The main story and characters (Lily and her journey and all of that) aren't really reliant on the HP framework, which why it was possible to convert at all, but it's dependent on there being known archetypes and tropes. I like to think I pull it off with a very stereotypical high fantasy setting but a lot had to change, while serving the interests of the story and characters, and also making internal sense.

That meant a lot of sitting down and thinking about the new world, how it works, and the new cast of secondary characters.

Are Things Really Different?

Yes and no.

The overarching point of the story is the same and the main characters go through the same major emotional arcs. The actual plotlines though are vastly different, the world is different, and the secondary characters are different (well, some are reminiscent of the fic but get way more speaking lines/some changes to personalities and others are new).

Basically, I had to write new content for most of it (but the beginning was sadly similar enough that we got the whole pulling down debacle that I still have to wait and see where that lands).

Some things are still the same in that there's still a prophecy, still a case of Lily having been dumped somewhere else for convenient reasons of convenience, and so on.

Is There a Magic School

Sort of.

It's Sir Not Appearing in Book One but does get quite a few name drops.

Is Lily's Name Changed?

She's still Lily and Ellie to start with but she has another name as well and the surname and middle name are different. I was too attached to Lily as a name to drop it by this point.

How Many Fucking Books Is It?

You're right in that it's a long story.

Fuck, it's a long story.

What I've got now for this to be published book is the first arc, roughly the equivalent of chapters 1-25 in the fic version for those following along (same major arc going on). In Lily I'd say while there's three major arcs it'd probably break down best into 4-5 books (though don't quote me, I'm bad at doing this stuff until I sit down to actually write it).

Once I finally get done with this editing business of book 1, book 2 is pretty well scoped out, I have a solid idea what book 3 would be, and then... could be one to two more as I have to sit down and really think about those (that's a future me problem).

#lily and the art of being sisyphus #ask #theviolettulip

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artzychic27 · 1 year

Text

Some incorrect quotes with Marc as Starfire

Cosette: Way to go, Troqie!

Marc: *Scowls* You do not call me that!

Cosette: But Lucien calls you Troq all the time.

Marc: … That does not make it right.

Cosette: What's up? I thought you said it didn't mean anything.

Marc: No. I said it means "nothing". When Lucien calls me "Troq", he is saying that I am worthless, a nothing.

Cosette: Marc...

Marc: There are those on other planets that think Tamaraneans are inferior. Troq is what they call us.

Cosette: So he's calling you a terrible name. And you know that if you punch him out, it'll only confirm all the bad stuff he says about you?

Marc: Yes! You know what it is like to be judged simply by the way you look?

Cosette: Of course I do. I'm a meta-human.

—

Aurore: I'm sorry Lucien treated you like that. If I'd known I never would've let it happen.

Cosette: None of us would.

Marc: There will always be people who say mean words because you are different. And sometimes their minds cannot be changed. But there are many more people that do not judge people based on how they look, or where they came from. Those are the people whose words truly matter.

—

Marc: *To Nathaniel* All the fault is yours! I commanded you leave me alone, but you insisted upon the 'being nice'!

Nathaniel: MY fault? You blast me, you kiss me, BUT YOU NEVER STOP TO MENTION THAT THEY HAVE A GIGANTIC PARTICLE WEAPON?

—

Marc: I suggest a large pizza with pickles, bananas, and mint frosting.

Simon: Uh, Marc? Not everything on the menu is a pizza topping.

—

Ismael: Four and a half pounds of baby back ribs! Man, I love picnic food! *starts scarfing away*

Marc: Agreed, Ismael. This tangy yellow beverage is truly delightful. *starts slurping more of his drink. The Science Kids slowly stop eating and start looking at him, flabbergasted*

Reshma: Um... Marc?

Ismael: That's mustard.

Marc: Oh… Is there more?

—

Rando: Hey, Hot Alien Babe, you digging the scene?

Marc: Oh I didn't know we were suppose to bring shovels...

—

Emani: Hi, Little Doll!

Marc: Nathaniel... who is this boy, and why is he calling you "Doll"?

—

Nathaniel: *After he and Marc have switched bodies* Marc! You have to calm down. My powers are driven by emotion. The more you feel, the more energy you unleash.

Marc: I will try to calm down. *takes a few deep breaths and closes his eyes* Peace... quiet... tranquil... *His powers cause a car to flip over and blow sky high*

Nathaniel: We are sooo doomed.

—

Nathaniel: You're getting married?!

Marc: Indeed, and I cannot wait to get to Tamaran. I have been having a bit of the sick-home feeling lately, and am eager to introduce my home planet to you, my friends.

Nathaniel: You're getting married?!

Mireille: Yeah, anyone we know?

Marc: I have never met him. My betrothed has been chosen for me by the Grand Ruler of Tamaran.

Nathaniel: You're getting MARRIED? And to SOMEONE YOU'VE NEVER MET?

—

Denise: Make him laugh, or something!

Marc: Uh… How many okarins does it take to hogie a morflark?… Fimbar!

—

Marc: Friends! Awaken! Alarm! The Mother Mae-Eye is not truly our mother, but an evil witch who has tricked us all and invaded our home and forbidden our missions and keeps us all under her spell with frequent and plentiful helpings of enchanted pie! *stops and gasps for breath*

Reshma: … So... what now?

Jean: I think he’s saying… He wants more pie!

—

Marc: *After getting hit by Kim’s prank* Is this punishment? I did something wrong?

Kim: Marc, it was... You weren't supposed to... I didn't... Heh, just remember to change that oil every 3,000 miles. Heh heh.

Marc: … On my planet we have a name for those who do such horrible things, you are a... A CLORBAG VARBLERNELK!

Kim: … I'm a what-bag?

Alix: You heard the guy.

Nathaniel: You are such a clorbag.

—

Marc: Your Atlas is nothing but a Zolworg Tubeck Plixing Zarbmarker!

Jean: Yeah, what he said!

—

Cosette: Can't be any scarier than that documentary on hot-dogs Marc made us watch.

Marc: It was fascinating! I had no idea Earth-people ate so many pigs... and insects!

—

*After Nathaniel laughs*

Marc: Many of your Earth ways are still strange to me, but that was... just plain freaky, correct?

—

*In the dark*

Marc: Someone’s claws are on my grebnacks!

Lacey: Hehe... my bad!

—

*Marc is teaching Nathaniel how to fly, because they have switched bodies, and his powers require a happy thought*

Marc: Very good! What was your joyful thought?

Nathaniel: You don't want to know...

Marc: Oh, but I do... please tell me... what did you imagine?

Nathaniel: You… Kissing me.

Marc: *Blushes* Oh... well, I am glad I was able to help...

—

Marc: Come, Friends. I shall thank you all by reciting the Poem of Gratitude. All six thousand verses!

*The DC kids pass out*

—

Reshma: It's all right. We're friends, remember?

Marc: … Friends? *advancing; they back up* Why? For what purpose did you free me?

Zoé: Just...trying to be nice.

Marc: "Nice." We do not have this word on my planet. Closest is "rutha." Weak!

—

Marc: Nomosguoguomuozog! GUO ZOG!!!

Zoé: I CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE SAYING!!!

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #marc anciel #science kids #dc comics #teen titans #starfire #mlb au #incorrect quotes #marc x nathaniel

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gryfflepuffinthetardis · 25 days

Text

Natural Born Killer

Summary: The BAU is called in for a brutal triple homocide of one woman and two men which turns into a rescue mission for a missing undercover federal agent and a hunt for a misanderist serial killer who moonlights as a hitman with Antisocial Personality Disorder and Paranoid Personality Disorder who was brutally abused by his father in his childhood but he finds out that not all those who were unfairly abused turn out like he did.

Warning: Mentions of abuse; Hints of main characters being abused in childhood; Mentions of Torture; Rats (Yuck!! I bet Nonna Rossi also said “I no like-a the rats"—This is a reference for Season Thirteen’s Dust and Bones—also I feel to point out that I am part Italian… we think… just in case someone wants to shout at me.); Zoe being kind of mean/sassy to Garcia; Mention of real-life famous unsolved case of Room 1046 or the murder of Roland T. Owen also known as Artemus Ogletree

"Hurt people hurt people. That's how pain patterns get passed on, generation after generation after generation. Break the chain today. Meet anger with sympathy, contempt with compassion, cruelty with kindness. Greet grimaces with smiles. Forgive and forget about finding fault. Love is the weapon of the future.”

November fourteenth, 2005

Zoe and Morgan met the team at a Baltimore crime scene, Morgan was teaching an in-service at the Baltimore Field Office while Zoe had been called with a possible tip on Zarah's whereabouts and just as always it ended up too good to be true.

Zoe spoke to the witness and immediately had a feeling that she wasn't going to be totally reliable when she knocked on the neighbor's door and a woman in her fifties with those stereotypical oversized overnight hair-curlers in her hair. This woman had many, many cats and Zoe felt like one had nestled in her hair by the time they actually got to the case.

"Helen and William are usually such a quiet couple. But last time, it must’ve been around eleven at night, I was trying to sleep but there was loud music coming from their house. It had been on for a while but finally, I got fed up with it. I am a mild-mannered lady. I don’t get involved. But I told myself, Evelynn, you need to shut it down! So I marched over and I knocked on the door, shouting ‘Helen, do you know what time it is?’ But no one answered, I called again, still no one answered or turned down the music, so I reached for the doorknob but it was wet and when I looked at my hand, it was red and sticky and then a man pushed past me and the door, he knocked me over, down the steps, must’ve been hopped up on those damn drugs.”

Zoe pursed her lips together and nodded, "Okay. Now, Ma'am, did you get a good look at the man?"

"No. It all happened so fast."

"Can you remember any specifics?"

"Well, he was White. I'd say he was older than you, twenties, thirties, maybe forties. And I bet he was hopped up on those damn drugs."

—————————————————————————————

Zoe re-entered the DiMarco household as Morgan brought the rest of the team through the house.

“Just finished, interviewing the neighbor and her fifty cats,” Zoe said.

"How'd you get here so fast?" Elle asked.

“I was out for a drive.” Zoe said, vaguely.

"At ten in the morning?"

"I've been out since five-thirty."

"When do you sleep?"

"Who says I sleep?" Zoe asked. "I had a lead on Zarah's whereabouts. Didn't pan out." She started up the stairs, "The neighbor says the suspect is a white male from twenties to forties fleeing the scene, and I quote 'hopped up on those damn drugs'."

"Eyewitness accounts are notoriously unreliable." Gideon said.

"So far, sounds like a standard double homicide. Why are we here?" Hotch asked.

They entered the upstairs bathroom where the murders took place. There was blood splattered up the walls on the ceilings and on the lights, there was a steady blood stain in the tub where it seemed that someone bled out in until the stopper was pulled out, and blood stained around the drain. Blood all splattered in the shower, on the glass, on the shower rug outside the glass, still wet blood on the shower floor. On the vanity, it looked like blood just spurt out of somewhere, on the chair and the floor below it.

"Massive overkill." Morgan said.

"You know I always imagined the hotel room 1046 where Artemus Ogletree was murdered would look a bit like this." Zoe said.

"You've imagined that?" Morgan deadpanned.

Zoe just looked at him.

"I can see that." Spencer said as if this were a normal thing to converse about.

Morgan shook his head, incredulously at the pair and got to the case.

"Helen DiMarco was found here tied to the chair in front of the vanity. No defensive wounds. Ligature marks around the wrists. One clean laceration from ear to ear."

"Looks arterial. Probably the carotid." Zoe remarked. "She went quickly."

"The husband William was found in the shower, but he wasn't quite as lucky." Morgan said. "Ligature marks on the wrists and ankles and one long laceration up the abdomen through both layers of muscle."

"Evisceration? That's typical of disorganized behavior." Spencer said.

"It looks like the prison after Maze was done. Despite all the blood, this crime scene shows method, order, control. I'd say it's pretty organized. Whoever did this, knew what they were doing and I'd say this wasn't their first time." Zoe said. "Was there torture with the husband?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I just know." Zoe said, mutteringly.

"Burns, contusions, lacerations. You name it, this guy tried it." Morgan confirmed.

"If torture is the UnSub's signature, the methodology's usually unique. A person who burns someone doesn't normally use a knife." Spencer said

"So maybe we have more than one killer, or we have one killer with more than one personality." Hotch said.

"And three victims." Zoe said.

"Hmm?"

“Blood on the vanity, wife’s body was found there. The husband was in the shower. I’ve seen an evisceration live, all the blood in there belonged to the husband, and he wouldn’t have much left to spare. So why is there a ring of blood in the tub, if there were only two victims.” She crossed the room to the tub, “It looks like whoever was in here, lost their entire blood volume."

"Approximately ten-point-six pints." Spencer said.

"Which means the victim was dismembered." Elle said.

"It looks like our guy took all the parts with him." Morgan said.

—————————————————————————————

Hemingway wrote, "There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it never really care for anything else."

They moved to the living room—the light was better—the smell was also much better.

"Okay, what do we know about the UnSub based on the two bodies we do have?" Hotch asked.

"Typically, torture falls into two categories, sadistic and functional. Functional torture is used to extract information or to punish. It's measured, impersonal, completely disinterested.

"Like a military tactic."

"Exactly. Then there's sadistic torture which is used to extract some sort of emotional need."

"Yeah, that's always fun." Zoe sassed.

"But sadists are sexually deviant, yet there's no evidence of sexual contact." Elle said.

"That we know of." Hotch said.

"What do you mean?" Spencer asked.

"Well, we don't have the third body yet."

Zoe's phone rang.

"Sorry, let me take this." Zoe said and excused herself. She answered the phone call.

————————————————————————————

The next victim was found last night and it took a while to gather up all the pieces.

"Third victim was positively ID'd as a low-level Mob guy, Frederick 'Freddy' Condore. He was the nephew of the older couple. Body parts were found in seven different trash cans two blocks from the crime scene." Morgan said.

"Were they able to completely reassemble the body?" Spencer asked.

"The killer didn't keep any trophies."

"Is there any evidence that he got off?" Elle asked.

"No."

"Garcia has a number of unsolved murders in D.C., Virginia, and Maryland over the past fifteen years. Many of them have ties to organized crime. All different MOs." Spencer said.

"What's the connection?" Elle asked.

"Torture." Zoe said, bluntly. "Marks on the bones are consistent with the same cutting tool. Tortured victims, most tied to organized crime, no signs of sexual sadism. We're looking for a hitman."

"No, a hitman doesn't need to torture to get the job done." Morgan said.

"Hitmen have baggage too. If I were an UnSub and I liked to torture people before I kill them, a hitman is a perfect way to turn that hobby into a career." Zoe countered.

JJ entered and said, "Two things—Baltimore just forwarded a sketch of the man running from the scene. And you've got some agents out there who think that you're poaching on their turf."

"I'll handle it." Gideon said and he got up and left. He and Alexander came back a few minutes

"Are we dropping it?" Zoe asked her father as Gideon wrote on the whiteboard in red pen.

He looked at her, "I'm sorry, who raised you again?"

Zoe's face split into a wide grin.

"These guys don't know what they're dealing with." Elle said,

"Our UnSub is male, intelligent, organized, and methodical. He has the confidence of a man who's been killing for a long time. The only victim removed from the scene is Freddy Condore, indicating some tie to him. Elle, you, Zoe, and Reid stay on Condore's background with Garcia, dig deep, see what turns up."

"Condore worked as a supervisor at a scrap metal yard in Baltimore. It's owned by a guy named Michael Russo, boss of a small Mob crew. I'm going to grab Hotch and go check him out." Morgan said.

Spencer leaned over Zoe's shoulder, watching her type like the wind on her laptop, she sat in her own chair with her legs out. Her fingers flew across the keyboard like they had a mind of their own, proving to be just as talented in the world of hacking as she was profiling. Garcia sat at her desk, typing.

"You're breathing on my neck." Zoe said.

"Um, sorry." Spencer cleared his throat, pulling away, realizing that once again he was feeling a bit light-headed from Zoe's spiced vanilla perfume. "Sorry for that."

"You three having fun?" Elle asked, entering the room.

"Oh, yeah. Sifting through the life and times of Freddy Condore with Doctor Reid and Zoe Noble-Valdez, MD here is a party I wouldn't want to miss. Credit card receipts show Freddy loved crab cakes, preferred light beer, and used to spend his thursday nights with a woman in Fells point." Elle leaned over, placing her coffee cup near Garcia's equipment as Zoe kicked her chair to roll over to look at the screen as well, engulfing Spencer once again in her unique perfume. Garcia irritatedly moved Elle's cup away from the equipment. "An, uh, expensive woman."

"What about his associates?" Elle asked.

"Most of them have criminal records." Spencer said.

"That much I guessed."

"But one of them is particularly interesting." Spencer said.

Zoe brought her laptop on the small bit of Garcia's desk that wasn't covered in colorful knick-knacks that were so pink they made Zoe's eyes feel like they were melting.

"This is James Baker's rap sheet. He spent time in juvenile detention for attempted murder, was released at age twenty-one, and then subsequently arrested for—and this is in order—armed robbery, petty theft, burglary, narcotics sales, and rape."

"But there's no other sexual assault complaints in his file." Elle said.

“Absolutely nothing. I told you it was interesting.” Spencer said.

"What's so interesting about that?" Garcia asked.

“You need to read a profiling book. Uncle Rossi’s got more than he does ex-wives if you can believe that.” Zoe deadpanned.

"When it comes to psychological behavior, anything is possible, but this criminal history—it just isn't probable. I mean, as a minor, he began with attempted murder and then devolved into pettier crimes? It's the criminal history of a fractured schizophrenic with multiple personality disorder. It just does not make sense."

"Unless someone made that rap sheet up, and they weren't thinking about the behavior—they just plugged in whatever sounded good." Zoe said.

Garcia’s computer beeped and Zoe took her laptop from the desk. “Hold on. His mug shot’s coming up.” Spencer took the sketch and held it beside the mugshot.

Elle took out her phone and said into it, "I've got an address for you to hit."

—————————————————————————————

It turns out James Baker was an undercover federal agent working for Organized Crime and Hotch and Morgan went to talk to Michael Russo while the others waited.

Gideon left his office, "Success. Hotch and Morgan just shook Russo's confidence in his hitman."

"Well, he'll want to bring him in and get a read on him." Elle said.

"Yes, ma'am."

"What if by playing them against each other, we've made Russo as paranoid as his hitman?" Spencer asked as Spencer, Elle, and Zoe followed Gideon and Alexander. "What would stop them from trying to kill each other?"

"Well, if that happens, then we'll never find Jimmy Baker alive." Elle said.

"We've got a surveillance team outside of Russo's office. Stay on it." Gideon said.

"Bye, Angel." Alexander called to his daughter through the closing elevator doors.

—————————————————————————————

Zoe and Garcia worked on the phone tap.

"Is this gonna work?" Elle asked.

"The beam is reflected from the window pane according to the law of optics." Spencer said.

"Yeah, the angle of instance is equal to the angle of reflection." Zoe said before Garcia could.

Elle held up her hands to stop them from talking about things she didn't understand. "Uh-huh. Is it gonna work?"

"Yes, Elle, it'll work." Zoe said, "I've got a friend in Paris who does things like this and she's not been caught."

Russo's voice came on over the tap, "Hey. It's me. I need to see you tonight. I'll call you from a secure line.

"Apparently." Garcia said.

"Criminals think they're so smart." Zoe grinned.

"Hey. Listen, you brought a lot of heat taking down Freddy like that. What—I'm dealing with the Feds! Listen, meet me here at the office. They don't know nothin'. I'm dealing with them. Stop being paranoid, Vinny.

"Bingo." Spencer said.

"No. Vinny."

—————————————————————————————

"Russo's got eleven associates named Vincent." Spencer said.

"No, make that ten. Vincent Chiletto died last summer." Zoe said.

"You know, here's something," Elle said and placed her coffee cup down on Garcia's desk who glared at it like was a personal insult to her. "What can you tell me about Vincent Sartori...?" Garcia had grabbed Elle's cup and threw it in the trash. "I was still drinking that."

"Not only is this equipment expensive, it's also extremely sensitive." Was Garcia's excuse.

“Yeah, that's the reason. Not that you overcompensate the gore of our work by living in a world of denial and cupcakes and unicorns and stains ruin that fantasy and also you touch my cup and I will hack your technological world to bits... or we'll just have to see how hard it is to hack with broken fingers.” Zoe deadpanned with a death glare and then she causally continued, "I used to have this set up before you, it's not that sensitive. I used to eat lunch at this desk. If you're done, who's next?"

"Vincent Sartori." Elle said.

"Currently doing six at Dannemora for racketeering," Garcia said.

"How about this 'Perotta'? There's not much on him." Spencer asked.

"Can you get into those records?" Elle asked.

"Despite the fact that they were probably expunged, Zoe or Garcia can find the faintest echo of deletion and successfully recreate the file, thereby sending us all to prison for computer felony fraud counts. " Spencer said, sarcastically.

"Eh, my dad's got connections." Zoe said, shrugging off jail time.

"Can he do that?" Spencer asked and Zoe looked at him.

"Do I look like I was a well-behaved child?" Zoe asked. "I just threatened to break Garcia's fingers if she touched my hot chocolate."

"Yeah, well, not everyone's daddy is the future head of the FBI." Spencer muttered.

“The Valdezes also have a lot of connections… and death threats.” Zoe said, typing on her laptop, "You've met Maze. Why do you think she only got kicked out of the FBI rather than arrested for massive overkill and mass murder despite in self-defense."

"The rest of us can make bail. Garcia?

"Already in." Zoe called, rolling over.

"You know, hacking is kind of my thing." Garcia said, annoyed.

"And overachieving to distract myself from my lifetime of survivor's guilt is mine." Zoe said, "And it is now on your screen."

"Alcohol addiction at fourteen, violent outbursts, assaults. Once threw a Molotov cocktail at someone sitting in their car." Garcia read.

"Several notations for aggression. He once scheduled a visit to an infirmary to gain access to a boy who looked at him for too long?"

"I've done something like that." Zoe muttered and Spencer gave her an incredulous look.

"No fear, no remorse, quick temper, and he was smart enough to stay off the radar as an adult. Paranoid personality, could be our guy." Elle said.

"There's absolutely no information on him as an adult. No driver's license, no utility bills, nothing. It's like he became a ghost."

"Let's just hope they can catch him." Spencer said.

"I think they need my help for this one. I've dealt with hitmen before."

—————————————————————————————

Zoe was given permission to join them catch Vincent and she joined them on her motorcycle, dressed in black. She moved through the Russo's junkyard slowly with her gun in her hand.

"Remember, we need this man alive." She heard Gideon say through the comm.

"Copy that." An officer said.

"It's all clear." Morgan said.

"Nothing." Agent Josh Cramer, a friend and co-worker of Jimmy Baker said.

Zoe kept to the darkness, avoiding the light, her small stature and dark clothing she had changed into helped. Hotch, however, wasn't as lucky.

Zoe froze when she sensed something. Someone was moving in the darkness, not wanting to be caught. Then she heard a thump and the sound of someone being attacked. She ran towards the sound, going stealth mode, jumping and sliding across the hood of a broken car as Hotch hit the ground and fumbled to grab his ankle gun when Vincent started to strangle him with a garrote.

Morgan arrived and pointed his gun, "Hotch, let me take him!" Hotch shook his head as he struggled to breath, not having the training that Zoe had on how to avoid this.t

"Gideon, I've got a headshot. That's it."

"Don't take it. We need him alive."

It was a tense moment before there was a metallic swish in the air and a knife flew between Hotch and Vincent's bodies, cutting the wire and releasing Hotch, cutting Vincent’s skin.

Vincent got up, turning, ready to attack but he faltered when he realized Zoe was a woman as she jumped down from a car hood. She raised her eyebrows at his hesitation before she raised her taser and tased him until he fell. She got the sense that he hadn't wanted to fight back even then.

"Well, that was interesting." She remarked.

"What was so interesting about that?" Cramer asked.

Zoe ignored him and went to Hotch's side along with Gideon as the others restrained Vincent.

"Hotch, you okay?" Zoe asked as Hotch coughed. "Yeah, garrotes' never fun."

"Take your tie off for once in your life, huh?" Gideon said, helping Zoe loosen Hotch's tie.

—————————————————————————————

Zoe arrived at the BAU first.

"Did you get him?" Elle asked.

"Yeah, he tried to choke out Hotch with a garrote." Zoe said.

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, I threw a knife, cutting it." Zoe said as they reached her desk. "They'll be here in like ten minutes."

Zoe took her black beanie off as Elle walked off to meet them when they arrived. Zoe's hair tumbled out of her beanie and Spencer got a whiff of Zoe's vanilla-y perfume again.

"Uh, did-did you change?" He asked, nervously, looking at her all-black outfit.

"Yeah, I have a change of clothes for every occasion. Stealth. Running. Climbing. You name it."

They brought Vincent into the interrogation room and chained him up real good.

"We don't have time for this little show." Cramer complained to Hotch. "Interrogation techniques say make the guy comfortable, make him your friend, give him a way out. That's how you get a confession."

"That may work with a common criminal. It's not going to work here." Alexander said.

"Why is that?"

"Because anti-social personality disorder means never trust anyone with anything at any time." Hotch said.

"Then what are you supposed to do?" Cramer asked.

"Make him uncomfortable." Alexander said.

—————————————————————————————

There were several boxes of stuff taken from Vincent's van.

"This was all in his van?" Spencer asked.

"Yep." Morgan said, once he had joined them from chaining up Vincent. "The guy wasn't exactly neat."

"Classic antisocial personality." Spencer said, "What are these tapes?"

"I don't know. Why don't you, Zoe, and Garcia go take a look, let us know, alright?"

"Yeah! Movie night. I'll make popcorn."

“Are you the equipment’s not too sensitive for that?” Zoe deadpanned as Garcia walked off.

—————————————————————————————

Gideon, Alexander, and Hotch looked at Vincent through the glass.

Gideon turned to Hotch, "Go home."

"I'm fine. He's got a little slack."

"Morgan says he's secure, he's secure. Zoe recommended those chains and she'd know." Alexander said as Gideon put his gun down and went to enter.

"Uh, Jason." Hotch called.

"Yeah."

"Let's not give him a weapon." Hotch said and took Gideon's pen in his breast pocket, "He's kind of strong."

Gideon went back to go in but pulled back, "Hey, Hotch?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll be okay."

Gideon entered the interrogation room, I'm Supervisory Special Agent, Jason Gideon. Federal Bureau of Investigation."

"You afraid of me, Jason?" Vincent asked.

"You were advised of your rights?" Gideon asked.

"Take these off and we'll really talk." Vincent said, referring to the chains.

"Were you advised of your rights?" Gideon repeated.

"I know my rights." Vincent answered.

"You want to talk?"

"I got nothing to hide." Vincent said, shaking his head.

"Good."

Behind the glass, Cramer and Morgan re-entered, "How's it going?"

"Don't turn your back on him, Gideon." Hotch muttered.

"Hotch, you know how he is. He's just trying to show him that he's not intimidated." Morgan said.

"Yeah, it's not about fear, it's about being dismissive." Hotch explained, "Perotta could assume that he's disrespecting him."

"Why don't we turn these cameras off? I'll get him to tell us where Jimmy is." Cramer suggested.

"That wouldn't work." Hotch said.

"You sure about that?" Cramer asked.

"Yeah, he was probably abused by one or both of his parents. He's learned to take the pain." Hotch explained.

"And that's why he has no compassion for anyone else's." Alexander said.

"You've got to trust us." Morgan said.

Back in the room, Vincent said, "You're not organized Crime."

"No." Gideon said, "We're Behavioral Analysis."

"What's that mean?"

"Well, we study how you think, why you do what you do." Gideon said, sitting in the chair across from Vincent.

"No kidding?"

"We have a word for you." Gideon said.

"You've got a word for me?" Vincent asked.

"Oh, yeah, actually we have a few." Gideon smiled without mirth, "Psychopath. Paranoid personality disorder."

"That's quite a mouthful, Jason." Vincent said, unbothered.

"Yes, it is."

Vincent leaned forwards, "Michael Russo set me up, didn't he?"

Gideon took out a picture of Jimmy, "Do you recognize this man?"

"Nope."

Gideon looked across the room to the board with the three recent victims on it. "How about them? Anyone look familiar?"

"Wait a minute. The third guy over." Vincent said, referring to Freddy, the one he dismembered. "I think he does those late-night commercials for the dead worms. You know, softies." Gideon chuckled, again without mirth. "That's funny to you?"

"It's just interesting that you'd choose that expression." Gideon said, "You have problems performing?

"Not me."

Behind the glass, Morgan asked, "Where's he going with this? There's no evidence this guy can't perform.

"I know. Gideon knows that. He's just pushing his buttons." Hotch said.

Back in the room, Gideon asked, "Does murder excite you? Is that the only thing that can give you a sexual release?" Gideon crossed to the board. "Vincent," So the hitman looked over at the agent and watched Gideon flip the board, revealing it filled with Vincent's other victims, all men. "I believe you are an extremely impotent man."

Vincent suddenly jerked, the handcuffs rattling when they were pushed to their extent. "Take these off and we'll see."

Cramer suddenly barged in, "Where's Jimmy, you son of a bitch?" He grabbed Vincent by the sweater, "He's a federal agent!" Morgan came in and pulled on Cramer as Gideon pushed him out. "I will personally execute you! Personally!" Gideon slammed the door shut but Vincent had already heard and he was smirking.

"Baker is a federal agent. I knew it." He said.

"Where is he, Vincent?" Gideon asked.

"Hey, Jason! Is it still called 'paranoid' if I'm right?" He asked and Gideon left the room.

————————————————————————————

Garcia held up one of the tapes.

"Ten bucks says this involves naked coeds and a plumber." She said.

“What?" Spencer asked, incredulously.

"Never mind." Garcia sighed, remembering who she was talking to.

“Aw, you’re just so innocent.” Zoe cooed.

Spencer’s cheeks burned, “No, I’m not.

“Yes, you are. You were twelve when he went to college."

“Fourteen.” He muttered. "How old were you?"

“I started taking college classes when I was five. Zarah and I agreed to go through high school together but you know, life happens. But we all can’t be Morgan and good thing too or I would’ve given up on men altogether” Zoe said, blankly and Spencer blushed at the subtle compliment that she thought he was better than Morgan, “Give me that.” She put the video evidence in and it started to play.

There was a man with dark hair, screaming in pain but the camera was too close to really see anything distinct other than that.

"Okay, who's that?" Garcia asked.

"I have no idea." Spencer said.

"I'm guessing someone about to be butchered." Zoe said.

Spencer cleared his throat, not wanting to verbalize the torture to Garcia, "Put another tape in."

Garcia did so and the next tape had screams coming from it.

"Oh my god." Garcia muttered with disgust and horror.

“Well, that’s a form of torture I’ve never experienced,” Zoe said, tilting her head at this rarity.

"I'll be back." Spencer said and left.

"Well, I'll leave you to this." Zoe said, clapping Garcia on the back and leaving her alone to follow Spencer.

—————————————————————————————

Gideon stormed over to Cramer, "What the hell is wrong with you?" He growled.

"We don't have time for this, all right? My friend might still be alive out there somewhere." Cramer snapped.

"You just told him Baker was a federal agent. He may never tell us now."

"I told him to hang tough." Cramer said.

"What?"

"Jimmy. When he called me, I told him to stick with the assignment, that we didn't need to bring him in right away." Cramer confessed and Gideon turned his back to him to walk a little ways away. "Hey, I had too much invested, all right? Too much time. And I wanted Russo. So we waited twenty-four hours to go in for him. By the time we got there, that maniac..."

Spencer and Zoe entered, interrupting Cramer, "There's a chance Agent Baker's being tortured. And I think we know how."

"Rats." Zoe said.

—————————————————————————————

You needed me?" JJ asked when they called her over.

"Yeah. These are the faces of new victims off the videotapes we found." Hotch said, handing the photos over to JJ, "Check with local, see if they have any open homicides or missings that might correspond."

"Are those rats?" JJ asked.

"Yeah."

"Fun, right?" Zoe asked, sarcastically.

"What are we going to do?" Cramer asked as JJ walked off.

"Well, we looked at all the stuff in the van and besides the videotapes, there's nothing that interesting."

"I got Garcia going over the sound on the tapes, trying to isolate the background noise. Maybe something there will help."

“The good news is, it seems like they were all filmed in the same space,” Spencer said, fiddling with a bent-out paper clip. “It could be some sort of home base for him.”

"Yeah, but where is it?" Cramer asked.

"What do we know about Vincent Perotta?" Gideon asked.

Ah, he was doing that teaching thing.

"He's off the grid. Garcia can't find a registered phone utility bill, or home address on this hump."

"Come on, everybody lives somewhere. There's gotta be a paper trail." Hotch said.

"If there is, we can't find it." Spencer said.

"In this day and age you can't live without leaving some sort of trace." Hotch said.

"Unless someone pays your bills for you." Elle said.

"What about Russo?" Morgan asked, "Could he be taking care of him?"

"No. No, no, no. Russo's not paying anybody's bills but his own." Cramar said.

“Well, he has to have a weakness. It’s in his crime. It’s in his behavior.” Gideon said all while Zoe remained silent and for once completely still, the gears in her head, turning.

"You know, something's just been bugging me." Morgan said, "Freddy. Wasn't he easy to find? He cut up the body. He removed it from the crime scene. But then he leaves it a couple of blocks away where's he's gotta know we're gonna find it. It's the whole reason we were able to connect Perotta to the crime."

"He made a mistake." Alexander said.

"Yeah, he did. He went off script."

"What does that mean?" Cramar asked.

"Something knocked him off his game." Gideon said.

"That's right."

"His behavior." Gideon continued, "Well what does he do?"

"He tortures." Cramar said

"Always?" Gideon asked, "Zoe, you've been awfully quiet."

"The difference is Mrs. Dimarco. All his victims except her have been men and she was the only one who died quickly." Zoe said, "And when I fought him, he hesitated when he realized I was a woman. His mother didn't physically abuse him but his father did, she just did nothing."

"How is that better?" Cramer asked.

"To most people, it's easier to hate than to love when there so much reason to hate, but some people don't want to accept that they were ever loved any less than they should've been." Zoe said. "All the men were surrogates for his father, the brutality indicates that he was violent with his abuse, so he tortured them before killing them, but Mrs. Dimarco who reminded him of his mother... she didn't beat him. He doesn't hate her; he loves her because she was the only one who showed him kindness in his house."

"You want to finish this?" Gideon asked Hotch.

"Yeah." Hotch said and walked past them.

"Keep working." Gideon told them and he and Alexander followed him.

Hotch entered the interrogation room. "Hey, look who's here. My old friend. Feeling better?" Vincent said with no emotion. "Where's Jason?"

Alexander entered. "Who's this?"

"I'm the father of the girl who caught you." Alexander said, sternly.

"You grew up in a house that looked normal and happy, didn't you, Vincent?" Hotch said.

"Did I?" He asked.

"But your father beat you every chance he got."

"He smacked me around some. Didn't everybody's old man?" Vincent asked.

"No." Alexander and Hotch said.

"Well maybe if yours had, you would have learned to fight."

Oh, the irony.

—————————————————————————————

Zoe sat in Garcia’s lair as she, Spencer, and Garcia listened to the audio. Zoe was leaned back in her chair with her arms across the armrests and her fists balled up and her ankles crossed, making her knees slightly open, she had her eyes closed, this was the position she was put in every day. When she would have rely on her hearing to know what was happening around her.

“There. Do you hear that?” Garcia asked. There was a distant engine sound.

“What is that?” Spencer asked.

“I don’t know.”

“It’s like it’s moving. Getting closer.” Spencer said.

“Airplane.” Zoe said, “When I was captive for those eight months, I would try to figure out where I was, see if I heard any airplanes, I remember explictedly listening for airplanes, specifically but…” She shook her head. She had been frequently moved until the last few months but she did recall when they would throw her in the back of some van, in the rare occasions the drugs didn’t knock her out more so at the end once she built up a tolerance, not only was she blindfolded but she had noise-canceling headphones on.

—————————————————————————————

"Paranoid personalities develop in childhood." Hotch told Vincent.

"You know you're saving me thousands of dollars in therapy bills?" Vincent said, mockingly.

“You learned to take the beatings, the abuse. You learned to smile.” Alexander said, he remembered when he saw Zoe go through that. She smiled through her pain. More and more as she had more pain to hide. He did the same thing. For his sister. He made her think he was strong. Zoe inherited that. “But in the back of your mind, you probably thought, 'One day… One day, when I’m big enough…’”

"So you were bullied and abused, and you became an abuser and a bully. It's a logical progression." Hotch said.

Alexander was immensely proud of the fact despite all the pain his daughter has been through in her life, she has not become like them. She may be a little mean but she had a good heart. It was only her way of protecting herself.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Your father beat your mother, too, didn't he?" Hotch said and Vincent finally looked at them.

"My mother's got nothing to do with this." Vincent said.

"She's got everything to do with this." Alexander corrected.

"Your mother knew. She knew that he beat you every day and she did nothing to help you. And you still loved her. Even though she let you get hurt, you loved her. And I wondered why, why you didn't hate her. Then, of course, I realized that he beat her as much as he beat you." Hotch said.

"Don't talk about my mother."

"You killed all these people. Hundreds of them, and only one woman. That's what made you get sloppy, isn't it? Killing Mrs. DiMarco was hard. That's why you did it first and you made it quick. We thought it was to establish dominance but it wasn't." Alexander said.

"He was a bastard, all right?" Vincent said, finally unnerved.

"Your father?"

"I call him Frank. He was a mean son of a bitch. Is that what you want to know?"

Alexander understood. He called his father, Cain. So did Isobel and so did Zoe.

—————————————————————————————

Morgan and Elle found a certain pizza place Vincent frequented.

"Gideon, I think we got something here." Morgan called him over.

"He's got a bunch of pizza boxes from Franetti's Pizza." Elle said, "It's in Glen Burnie, a suburb that backs up right to the airport."

"Which makes sense since we can hear airplanes in the background of the video." Spencer said.

"Check property records for Frank Perotta."

"Who?

"His father?" Zoe assumed.

"Yeah,"

"Yeah, sounds an asshole." Zoe said.

"He still lives in his father's house." Gideon said.

"He still lives in the house his dad brutally beat him up in?" Zoe scoffed.

"I'll get Garcia on it.

"That's why nothing is in his name."

"If it were me, I'd distance myself as far as I could from the jackass." Zoe said, darkly as Morgan left.

Gideon patted her on the back and she looked at him with a steely look and then she spun away going to her phone.

"Garcia just sent me the file. It says Jackass Perotta did live in Glen Burnie, before he died in a hunting 'accident' with his son thirty years ago, because it's a great idea to take the son you brutally abuse to isolated forests with a loaded gun in his hand." She said, sarcastically. "The only thing more idiotic than men are abusive men."

—————————————————————————————

They entered the house and found Jimmy in the basement, tied up being feasted on by rats which Gideon kept kicking and shouting at them.

"Jimmy. You all right, man?" Cramer asked his friend and turned to Zoe who had immediately gone to check on his well-being. "Is he okay?"

“He’s going to live.” Zoe confirmed. "He might wanna get tested for rabies, just to be safe, and remember, several tests, no single test is sufficient."

—————————————————————————————

Hotch and Alexander still sat across from Vincent.

"You were just responding to what you learned, Vincent. When you grow up in an environment like that, an extremely abusive, violent household... It's not surprising that some people grow up to become killers." Hotch said and he stood up and headed to the door as other agents came in to arrest Vincent.

"Some people?" Vincent asked.

"What's that?" Hotch asked, turning.

"You said some people grow up to be killers." Vincent repeated.

Hotch and Alexander exchanged looks and then Alexander said, "And some people grow up to catch them."

They held eye contact before the two agent fathers, once abused by their own fathers but would never dream of doing the same to their children, left.

Carl Jung said, "The healthy man does not torture others. Generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers."

——————————————————————————

Note: They don't mention it a lot but my head canon is that Hotch was abused by his father and perhaps even took the beatings for his younger brother which makes it more amazing how Hotch turned out as a father.

*Evlynn is based off a SNL character played by Kate McKinnon in one skit.*

*I feel like there's another reference in here but I can't remember what.*

*I feel like I know a song that would fit but I can't think of it right now but if I find it, I'll add it to this.*

*If anyone doesn't know about the murder of Room 1046, I recommend watching Buzzfeed Unsolved's twenty-minute video on it (Ryan and Shane add a bunch of humor to a dark case and make it easier to learn about it) or Infographic's ten-minute video on it (they have a bit more information on the case). If you search "Room 1046" on YouTube, it's some of the first ones that show up*

*Edited October 21, 2024—I have Grammarly but on Tumblr, it's kind of hard to see when something is misspelled and I have my screen on dark mode, so the red line is kind of a darker gray that's hard to see. Also sometimes I kind of feel like Grammar is at times a sort of change with the person (another reason I think it's stupid that Grammar that changes depending where someone is from is on standardized tests). I am actually from Virginia, actually from a town they have never ever mentioned on the show and I'm not surprised, we're basically nobodies, so I speak with slightly southern slang but I don't have an explicitly southern accent, sometimes I'll slip into one, more so when I was younger but it comes out sometimes like if I say "southern", but Virginia is the most northern southern state, if I lived one state down, it's most likely I'd have a southern accent. (Like I say words like "Flordia" "Forest" and "Orange" with a kind "are" instead of "or" so I say these like "Fl-ar-da", "Far-rest", "Ar-enge".) But the point of the that was, because of that I've kind of gotten into the habit in not checking when the red dot appears beside a paragraph in Tumblr but I'm adding these to Archive of Our Own which actually shows the red line under the word that's flagged as incorrect.*

*Hotch gifs are from @lihiominaa*

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sophiesbookishthings · 3 months

Text

July Reads

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

I read this like 2 days before the allegations against Neil Gaiman came out 🫤. And since now it feels too weird to talk too much about anything regarding him right now, I'm not gonna fully review this book. I considered not putting this here at all, but I want an honest chronicle of the books I've read. And I feel like this little non-review isnt gonna cause anyone to go read his books or support him in any way. So, I will just say that I did enjoy this book, and it's one of my favorites I've read from him, but I'll leave it at that.

5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Pale Dreamer by Samantha Shannon

This is a little prequel novella to The Bone Season. I enjoyed seeing the dynamic of Paige and her seven dials gang before she gets thrown into the whole main plot of the series. It also gives a bit of interesting insight into why she and the other 6 act the way they do in The Bone Season.

4/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Bone Season (author's preferred text) by Samantha Shannon

This is a really interesting dystopian book. This is the first book in a seven book series and I'm intrigued to see where it goes. The main character Paige has really interesting psychic powers that I think are going to get really badass as the series goes on. There's also the rephaim and I really want to know more about their whole thing. Can't wait to keep reading these. I went and got the authors preferred text editions when they came out cause Samantha Shannon is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors.

4/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine

I got an absolutely gorgeous edition of this book from litjoy, and I think I read it like a day or two after I got it in the mail. I remember watching the movie when I was a kid, but I'd never read the book. Sometimes, it's better to watch the movie first, I think. Because I liked the movie, but it's not a lot like the book, and had I known that I probably would've liked the movie less. Anyway! I loved the love story in this book. Ella and Char match each other’s energy and quirkiness so perfectly. And the fantasy element of the book is really cool. There's centaurs, fairies, giants, and elves, and the way they were done felt like an old fairy tale, which I feel like doesn't get done too much anymore.

5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers

5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A Prayer for the Crown-Shy by Becky Chambers

I'm going to do a single review for these two novellas because I basically read them as one continuous book and I don't know how well I can deferentiate between the events that occur in each one. This book is very philosophical but also very cozy and sweet. There were some ideas and quotes in these two books that I will probably be thinking about for a long time. The friendship between the main characters (a tea monk and a robot) was incredibly well done and I really liked both of them. These books ultimately hold such kindness at their heart and I think we need more of that. I highly recommend these books.

5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Secrets of Blackthorn Hall by Cassandra Clare

I read this before when it was being released on tumblr but I received the Kickstarter hardback edition and it's absolutely gorgeous. Shadowhunters is always a comfort series to me, especially anything involving the Blackthorns and Malec.

4/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson

As per the Stormlight Archive, so much happened in this book, dear lord... So much happened in the last like 300ish pages alone (which i guess is the length of a normal book). This is also the longest book I've ever read, so that's fun. For a lot of this book, I was really thinking that Kaladin/Shallan/Adolin all have two hands, and Sanderson should stop being a coward lol. But anyway... I loved reading from the perspective of bridge 4 through the book and seeing what they're doing outside of kaladin. I need to know more about like all of the singers because I've been lowkey rooting for them since the first book. Which is really a testament to Sanderson's writing because I could tell that they really weren't the bad guys, and that there was something deeper going on, and some of that was revealed in this book.

5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Chlorine by Jade Song

I didn't love this book. I think it was the fact I really didn't like a single one of the characters and there was very little dialog to the point it almost felt just like stating of events and the narrators (usually all negative) feelings about the events and the people involved. I will give it that it had the first scene I've ever read to make me actually physically uncomfortable. It was gay but in a very messy pining way that never really felt like it went anywhere. I think that there are people that would really like this book cause it did have potential, but it just didn't worj for me. I will admit I have been thinking about it a lot, though, so there's that anyway.

3/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid

I haven't watched the Amazon series of this, and I'm mad that they changed the songs for it from the ones in the book. I wanted to listen to those ☹️. I feel like I shouldn't like that it was so obviously based on Fleetwood Mac, but I kinda did. I've always found their whole extremely messy deal fascinating, and this was basically the fictional version of that.

5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

This was really interesting to read after having read the whole lotr trilogy first. This reads like a children's book (because it is) which was a bit surprising because of the much different tone I was expecting after lotr and the Hobbit movies. Also, it basically says the elves are fae. It refers to the Undying Lands as Faerie. Why do people not talk about that more??? It makes so much sense. They act like fae. They're whole vibe and lore is so fae like. It makes sense. Regular elves are little guys! Tolkien elves are fae! Anyway, lol, I really liked this book. I do think I liked lotr more just cause I love books/series that are lore heavy and also Samwise Gamgee.

5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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alex-guerin · 4 months

Text

I had a Death Wish when I left for work today. I was backing out of the driveway and saw something hanging from our little garden flag. I had noticed it last night when I got home but thought it was something Coonhound related (we have 3 and my mom is obsessed with them so....). So, I hadn't thought anything of it.

Then I saw it...a flag with Trump's mugshot on an old fashioned wanted poster saying, "WANTED FOR PRESIDENT" I slammed on my breaks, threw my Jeep in park, got out and ripped it off it's little flag pole so fast I'm surprised nothing ripped or broke. I crumpled it up and threw it on the floor of the front seat and left for work. Got to work and took this ransom photo

Which I then proceeded to send to my mom along with this message

Now, I admit, I probably should have phrased some things differently, and I probably should have left out the swearing, and waited until I cooled down a bit before texting her,but every time I saw that damned flag, I'd just get pissed off all over again, so I gave no fucks and did it anyway.

Unfortunately, my mother had a reply of her own.

I left her on Read.

Now, nowhere did I happen to mention God or religion when I texted her. So where did this rant about God come from? And secondly, me going to college was HER idea. I did not WANT to go to college and be up to my eyeballs in debt. I couldn't think of anything that interested me enough to want to get a degree in that would make me any money. This didn't matter to her. She didn't care if I, and I quote, "get a degree in Underwater Basket Weaving! Just get a degree in SOMETHING!" so that I wouldn't end up working in a warehouse like she had for so many years.

Well. Oops? Looks like that backfired on her and now she's mad cuz I'm working in a warehouse and I have a different view of things from her. Both her fault.

Anyway, I digress.

When I got home, this took place...

I walked in the door, said hi to the dogs, gave Goose his medicine and went to go upstairs...

Mom: WHERE is my flag?

Me: *having folded it up respectfully instead of throwing it out in the garbage at work like I wanted to* Under the cookies I brought home on the counter.

Mom: Good! It better be.

Me: *walking behind her at her computer to get to the stairs, rolling my eyes and trying not to let out an audible sigh of resignation. Get to the stairs...*

Mom: And I do NOT appreciate you infringing on MY First Amendment Rights! This is the SECOND TIME you've done it to me, and it's going to stop!

Me: *under my breath, pretending not to have heard her* Ah yes. Good ol' Freedom of Speech. The only one the Trumpers know, and they are the only ones allowed to exercise it...

Now, dear well-meaning friends...please do not tell me I need to get out of this house (I already know this, I've known for a while, keep walking please), that I do not HAVE to stay here (will you find me a cheap apartment that will let me keep my cats and is close to work...), believe me when I say...no fucking shit. However, as already stated, it's very difficult to find apartments less than 40 minutes from my job that will let me have my boys. Believe me, I have looked. And the ones that WILL allow my boys, want a stupid amount of rent.

For those who fear my mother my throw me out...valid, I sometimes fear that myself. Then I remember, oh yeah, I pay my dad $440/month in "rent", which is literally half the mortgage payment. So even though my mom refuses to admit that I pay half the mortgage, and even though my name is nowhere on the mortgage paperwork, I am literally paying half the mortgage, and without my "rent" money...they wouldn't be able to make their mortgage payments. So they need me to stay so they don't risk losing the house. Thus, she won't kick me out.

I seem to have this knack for pissing her off. We butt heads on so many things, and I think part of what makes her so mad is that in the last few years, I've finally started trying to stand up for myself and not let her try to dictate my life for me. I'm not the timid little six year old who hangs off her every word and never questions anything, just blindly does what they're told. I have my own views. My own beliefs. My own opinions. And I don't think she likes that.

And what's worse, she likes to remind me that I'm just like my father...and I honestly can't remember the last time she had anything good or positive to say about him. I actually don't think I have EVER heard her truly say anything good or positive about him. She's always bitching to me about him. I think she also forgets I am half her DNA also. So like, I got her stubbornness and being ornery and independent streak.

😮‍💨 Sorry. I know people avoid RL Blogging and it's annoying to see someone whining about their life. I just needed to get it off my chest.

#personal log #I'm whining again...sorry

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aoyama-division · 1 year

Text

Luis's Thoughts on Pixel Syndicate

Anika Kiyozaki

"I'm not a racing fan like Karada is. I know some people are interested, but if I wanted to see people driving down dangerously on roads and such, I'd just head to Osaka and watch people driving on the Kanjo Loop. ...Now that I think about it, I wouldn't be surprised if people used that as some sort of underground racing track. I mean, it's certainly busy during the day, and at night. But I guess that adds to the certain level of recklessness and dangerousness...

"But anyway, if Karada hadn't told me about this woman, I'd not know anything about her. Apparently after an incident, she retired from racing and now works as some sort of therapist. Like Karada mentioned, that's certainly a step away from racing, but I guess she probably wanted something more... low-key. Still, it's good to know she's here if I ever need to talk to someone."

Shian Meizono

"After I spent a day of thinking about it, I finally remembered where I saw this woman before. She had just come in after the lunch rush and asked for a large meal since she apparently had been hunting a criminal that had alluded her for almost three days straight. Not to quote Tomi, but I'm glad she is around. The fewer criminals hanging around here, the better. We already have one or two criminal teams in the D.R.B. The last thing we need is another.

"But anyway, she ate nearly everything on the menu and left a large tip. I'm kind of surprised I didn't recognize her when she delivered my birthday gift. The only other person I've seen eat as much as her is Kanra-chan from Edogawa. ...But, at least I have an idea of what to get her for her birthday."

Makina Setsukura

"Like I mentioned with 'Nikki Yoshie', I'm not all that big on video games. I've played them and I like some more than others, but I'm not as big a fan as Karada is. But anyway, he told me about this young woman. Apparently, she uploads videos of herself playing video games, either speed running through them or posting walkthroughs. ...I guess I know who to look for whenever I get the nerve to play video games again and I need some assistance. But the odds of that are very slim..."

Pixel Syndicate

"Not to quote my teammates, but I have to say, I'm quite surprised that Chuohku actually let a third team represent another division. The first team to do so was the Daybreakers who relocated to Kawasaki. The second team is the current team, the Otaku Corps. And these women make up the third team. I wonder just how many teams Chuohku needs to form or create before they are satisfied. Forming new divisions isn't enough. Now, they even have teams forming in already created divisions. I'm starting to think they just enjoy the chaos that they spread...

"But other than that, I don't think Tomi or Karada were giving these women a fair shot. Just like any other team, they have the ability to succeed, regardless of how well-known they are or not. I'm not saying one team is better than another. Whichever team between them or the Otaku Corps wins, they'll have earned and deserved it. I wish them both the best of luck."

#hypmic #hypnosis mic #hypnosis microphone #hypmic oc #hypnosis mic oc #luis kōkyū #akihabara division #pixel syndicate #anika kiyozaki #shian meizono #makina setsukura

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youremyheaven · 5 months

Note

different anon chiming in but man the thing I don't get about Meghan Markle is like... dude, you joined the ROYAL FAMILY, like- the actual royal family lol. They are known for having intense rules and traditions and obviously in recent decades it's become more lax and adapted to the changing culture, but there is a reputation to uphold. Why would you join the royal family then act all 'shocked pikachu face' when suddenly there are rules, and they are uptight, and things aren't always fair.

I don't know the details of the situation, never followed it much tbh but that part of it just confused me, it's like she didn't register how serious of a position it is to be a member of the royal family

LITERALLY???

there is a very famous clip where she says Kate & Will did not hug her when they first met her and she's making it seem like the biggest deal lmfao its sooo funny to me,, this is her exact quote:

"I remember I was in ripped jeans and barefoot. Like I was a hugger, always been a hugger, I didn't realize that that is really jarring for a lot of Brits. I guess I'd start to understand very quickly that the formality on the outside, carried through on the inside," she continued about the multiple etiquette rules followed by the royal family, which she mistakenly believed were only observed in public. There is a forward-facing way of being and then you close the door and you relax now," she added about how she expected the etiquette to be left at the door once the work day had finished. But that formality carries over on both sides. And that was surprising to me."

im not a royal or British but if someone i met for the first time in my life wanted to hug me, i'd be uncomfortable too?? like imagine complaining about that?? "theyre sooo formal😩😩i just wanted to hugggg" like girl WTH 😂

this is what I mean by Moon dominant people being manipulative as hell. that anon literally said my trauma has made me biased against Moon dominants and that's why i'm misogynistic to Meghan Markle. you dont have to be an FBI expert to see how fcked up of a thing that is tell someone ???? if I criticize Meghan its bc IM misogynistic and traumatized?? I bet my money that the anon was also Moon dominant,, what kind of asshole do you have to be to spin things around like that ,,, yuck,,,

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crookedherringcolorclod · 2 years

Text

What makes you so sad? I think you're the saddest girl I ever met || Akemi and Helen

Surprise! There's a part 2 for Akemi and Helen @nutaella-kookie’s oc!! The quote I used as the title is from this scene. Also what is it with Helen meeting dangerous vampires in school bathrooms-?

I tried to put some song lyrics in my works because Akemi is part of the theatre club.… I hope it’s not too bad? It’s called “Noel’s Lament”

Fun fact: Fata Naiva means silly girl in Romanian. At least that’s what I searched and double checked.

Warnings: Helen’s canon ed, Akemi’s past that includes attempted r*pe, murder, and violence.

Helen knew what some people think of her. Her reputation was never known to be the best and it didn't help that her list of ex-boyfriends added more fuel to the already nasty rumors that spread across Ryoutei Academy.

Amongst the rumors about her, Helen would also hear about another girl, Akemi Sakamaki. They called her cold, unapproachable, a frigid bitch if they felt extra spiteful, it was never consistent. Shu said that she was one of his cousins when he came over last time. She still remembers that day well, the afternoon sun shone through the windows and the chill of winter seeped into her bones.

“I didn't even know that she existed.” Shu sighed as he continued to slide the razor against his cheek. “She just appeared by the doorstep of the manor and she never left ever since,” he added while rinsing off the shaving cream on the razor. Curious, Helen decided to probe the blonde vampire a bit more while combing her hair back, black curls falling off her shoulder. “How does she look like? Is she pretty?”

Water ran down the cold steel blade and Shu grabbed a random towel to wipe off the remaining cream on his blade. “She can carry a note, unlike you”

“Oh come on! Aren't your brothers more... bothersome? Surely your cousins are different in some way.” Helen continued to ask, a sigh leaves Shu’s lips, and the expression on his face remains indiscernible. “Go and see her for yourself. Or ask her classmates.”

Yet not once did Helen see Akemi closely, her face was almost always hidden or seen from afar. Her blonde hair was always indicating where she was but always disappearing somewhere else. Other than the horrid rumor of sleeping with numerous people, Helen has always heard about another title that Akemi has. “The Enigma of the Theatre Club” as people questioned why they never seemed to spot her on stage performing, even if her name is posted with the other cast on the bulletin board. Seemingly hiding in plain sight.

Students would say that when the theatre’s club room was empty… you would hear someone singing.

Oh, Claude, my pimp, knows never mess with me

Last prick did that faded quick to black

I have no idea where to find him, officers

But if you do, please mention that I'd

Like to have returned the pretty knife

That I stuck. Ten. Times. In. His. Back.

Sometimes, Helen would hear the singing as she passed through the theatre club, the club members’ voices were always loud and clear and could be heard through the stage, especially who Helen could assume to be Akemi’s, is it really? The soft and clear voice seems to ring in Helen’s ears.

He said, "I think I am in love with you"

I've heard that lie a million times before

Oh, tonight I give in to the fantasy

Take love when you can, when you're a whore

It was an ugly process, eating so much food you feel sick and then erasing it with the pull of a toilet’s lever. Watching your weight rise in numbers force those same numbers to drop, and Helen would repeat the cycle all over again.

Coughing, Helen reached out for the lever to flush the evidence away, leaning her back against the bathroom stall as her throat burned. Tiredly, Helen forced herself to stand up and pull her hair tie off, fanning her black curls out but still not wanting others to look at her right now. Not when she feels like nothing.

The door to the girl’s restroom opened before Helen could even leave the bathroom stall. Groaning quietly, Helen sunk to her back against the toilet seat, trying to listen to the pair of girls chattering away to find a chance to get out without being noticed.

“Ugh, I didn’t get the part to play Christine for Phantom of the Opera. I wasn’t even listed for understudy, can you believe that?” A girl cried out, stomping on her school shoes. “Yuki, I heard Akemi-senpai got the role.” Another girl added bitterly.

“Right? Like, who does she think she is? She's not even that good, she’s always a side character and then the club president just decided to make her of all people the star?” Yuki snapped, the clinking of makeup products echoed with quick snaps, reflecting her frustration.

“She probably slept her way up, how else would she get the part?” The other girl accused haughtily. Helen felt a headache forming in her temple.

“Honestly… hey, did you know that Subaru chased Akemi-senpai down the library? Do you think there's something between them?” The girls giggled, feeling proud of themselves as if they’d unlocked a mystery.

“For real, they’ve always been so close to one another it’s insane. I bet those two-”

“I bet they what? Do you mind if I listen?”

A girl’s voice echoed in the bathroom door, Helen could herself jolting in shock as the girls immediately stopped talking and Helen could only hear the long strides the girl took toward them from the bathroom stall she was in. The girl’s voice was sweet and soft, it sounded comforting like it was made to rock you to sleep. Yet that voice still sent shivers down Helen’s spine.

“Come on, you're making me curious.” The girl giggled, Helen winched at the sugary tone, immediately hearing the malice creeping up from the girl’s tone. “So let's recap, shall we, girls? In the library... Subaru and I did what?”

The silence was all-consuming and you could hear a pin drop. Helen’s heart was racing in her chest as she awaited whatever answer the girls would make. They better not say anything stupid.

Stammering, one of the girls finally spoke up. “I’m… I’m sorry, we need to go.” Helen could hear the girls scramble for their bags only to listen to them yelp like injured dogs as they stumbled on their own feet. “Oh no no no, why won’t you tell me? You can say it when you think I’m not around but you won’t tell me upfront?” Akemi chided mockingly, and the venom in her voice slowly grew more apparent.

Whimpering, the girls immediately made a break for the exit. “Talking behind my back won't get you the part for our play, you know?” the girl called out as the pair ran out of the bathroom, their tails between their legs.

Letting out a sigh, Akemi continued to talk to the air, her voice dropping to an octave. “After all... You would be stuck with me for the rest of the semester.” Helen slowly opened the bathroom stall’s door to peek, only to find blonde hair swish by heading towards the exit. Silence filled the girl’s restroom. She could hear her heart beating out of her chest.

Helen held her breath as she carefully opened the bathroom stall, hoping to leave and praying that she was alone in the bathroom. She had already heard too much, she rather goes back to her classroom and continue studying for another English Literature exam instead of dealing with whatever drama is brewing in that theatre club.

No, no, absolutely no-

“I know you heard them, Fata naiva.” Helen almost choked back a scream when she looked up only to find Akemi Sakamaki, sitting down on the bathroom countertop, dangling her long stocking-clad legs back and forth, childlike and almost innocent looking. Helen would have believed that if it weren't for...

“Yeah... so you have to deal with that too?” Helen replied carefully, watching the vampire in front of her in case she ever got close to her.

Akemi quietly hopped off the countertop, still poised and graceful in her stance, not getting too close to Helen. “You mean being too pretty for my own good? Yes, unfortunately… Did it get any better for you? Your name tends to float around, Helen is it?” Helen only gave Akemi a shrug, acting nonchalant. “The reputation is hard to rub off.”

“I guess so? I remember that the president told me about a girl who played Giselle from Swan Lake. Wasn't that you?” Helen looked over at the memory, recalling how unmoved the audience was but still applauded nevertheless. I didn't even get to sing, which is good I guess. Akemi let out a small chuckle escape her lips, amused at Helen’s reaction.

Helen rolled her eyes, trying to brush it off, the tension in her slowly dwindling away. “ Yeah... Not a fond moment I like to dwell on... So you’re in the theatre club?”

Akemi gave a little twirl, holding poise in her movements as her feet glided against the tiled floor. “Only one of the best actors in the club. Pleased to meet you.”

“I saw some of the plays, well it was required, but I never really saw you?” Helen asked, her eyebrows quirked up in confusion.

Smiling, Akemi placed a finger to her lips. “It’s easier to stand out on stage, that’s true. However it’s more impressive to blend in, but that’s just my opinion.” Helen could only shrug, knowing she can never conjure intense emotions for any performance without feeling stupid.

“Oh, I probably need to go to my next class, see you, I guess?” Spinning on her heels, Helen made a break to the only exit.

“Wait... Take this.” Confused, Helen turned around to find the girl reaching out for her hand and placing a paper-wrapped pastry in her hand. Chocolatine? “Thank you... I'm full actually.” Helen lied, she could still feel the imaginary bile in her throat, its sour aftertaste lingers on her tongue.

Akemi cock her head to the side, and her eyes met Helen’s. “Aren't you a dancer as well? Ballet, correct? It's in your posture.” Helen’s looked over to find Akemi with a worried expression on her face. “It wouldn't exactly be pleasant if you collapsed during rehearsals. It happens too often while we rehearse for our plays,’ more specifically with the girls.” Akemi added, still holding on to the chocolatine.

Reluctantly, Helen took the pastry out of Akemi’s hands. “Is knowing when someone is hungry a power of yours?” Helen questioned, taken aback at the sudden warmth of the pastry, and started tossing it back and forth between her hands.

Akemi only scrunched up her nose, for a moment she looked cold and haughty, minus the malice that comes with it. “Honey, I know what puke smells like. You should be taking care of yourself, missy.”

Helen let out a laugh, surprised at the fact someone was calling her ‘missy’. It sounded silly, even if the girl before her is centuries older than her. Yet what sounded silly sounded… familiar, the chuckle slowly died in Helen’s throat as she finally took a good look at Akemi, her soft features, doe eyes, and rosy cheeks.

Yet her face was overlapping with another, that girl she met at the club, Aurelia...

It can't be... can it? Same smile, different hair... I didn't even see her eyes. Even after the many nights we drank together, she wouldn’t look me in the eye.

Before Helen could hold her tongue, she spoke out. “You look familiar.” Akemi’s eyes widened slightly, taken aback by the statement, yet there is no hostility like what Helen expected, but curiosity. Relief, even?

“What makes you say that?” Akemi asked, her eyes softened. She looked gentle and assuring.

Helen hesitated. Should I really ask her… she won’t react badly… would she? Not like him…

Mustering up the courage, Helen decided to force herself to talk.

“Is that you, Aure-“

Before Helen could finish, the bell rang. Students rushed to their classrooms and their chatter filled the hallways. Akemi took her phone out to look at the time.

“I guess we should go to class?” Akemi questioned. Thinking to herself, Helen decided to take it as a way to escape, an option to avoid further conflict and hurt.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll see you? Thanks for the pastry.” Akemi only smiled, waving Helen goodbye as she watched the human’s silhouette disappear down the stairs.

Alone in the girl’s restroom, Akemi leaned back against the sink and guilt started to clog her throat. Akemi can’t find the urge to look at herself in the mirror, for all she would have seen would be the many faces she imitated all her life.

Angry and tired, Akemi felt the sudden burst of intense heat from the flames that she ignited on one side of her face. She curses to herself as the blue hue shone and flickered. Akemi recalled how it never left a mark on her skin no matter how hard she tried, always unscathed while everything burns around her.

She remembers the screams, the smell of smoke, cheap perfume, and the burnt flesh of the prostitutes who took care of her, and the men who tried to devour her filled her nostrils. Akemi’s let out a stuttered gasp for air, reminiscing over the painful memories.

Memories kept hidden came rushing back like a flood.

‘Monster’ Irina cried out in grief, Akemi knew she can’t comfort her… how can she? She killed her fiancé in the fire… pretended to be him, and lied to her, the soot dripping down from her hair, blurring her vision to black.

Oh how Akemi wanted to shake Irina then and there, scream at her.

You’re precious fiancé and his father tried to touch me while you waited for him. What does that make him?! TELL ME

Looking back at the mirror, Akemi only let out a sigh. She felt the urge to break it. Rip everything in front of her, but the urge left quickly. Even as Akemi stepped out of the girl’s restroom, the turmoil still boiled within her.

Oh Aurelia Eros, such a beautiful and cruel monster you are. Whenever will you stop hiding?

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #diabolik lovers oc #dl oc #diabolik oc #akemi sakamaki #sakamaki akemi #helen #shu sakamaki #sakamaki shu #laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #subaru sakamaki #sakamaki subaru #akesuba #if you squint

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necroangelz · 7 months

Note

Im watching a documentary about celts and white people and white power and Europe and Finnic people and Scandinavian people and The Roman Empire and white people feeling real nazistic now anyway sends all the emojis of the emoji game -🎀

Sana Tamaan Ka Ng Kidlat Ni Bathala

haha anyway wow 🎀 anon that sounds like a very educational documentary. did that inspire uu with any nazi feelings?

『 💉 』

a kin memory

as sunny omori, i was genderfluid afab, probably on the aroace spectrum, and used any pronouns. mari's full name was Marianne. can't remember my first name, i just know that sunny was a nickname that literally everyone used so it became a substitute for my actual name

mari and i were filipino-chinese (+american), kel and hero were south american, Aubrey was filipino-american, basil was just north american. faraway town had a lot of poc

『 🎀 』

a name/prn/title/label i hoard

I'm super drawn to anything related to stories :P

『 💊 』

5 min edit of a random character

yk uur talented when uur 5 minute edits still look good as hell /J

i love the "unmotivated" frame sm i wanna use it in an actual edit someday....

"angel stop editing NSO" NO!!

『 💌 』

a quote/song lyric

" i have nothing to complain about. i may not be perfect to you, but I'm plenty good enough to myself. "

" ... now i understand. i wanted everyone to love me. i sought for so much. to know everything when i had everything. but i never tried to find out what i truly wanted... and i can't have it anymore. ah, i could have turned back any time, but now it's all gone because of me ! "

dialogue from the houseki no kuni/land of the lustrous manga. can't remember which chapter but it's near the end. i won't talk about the context much in case i spoil someone but i really really really truly super duper resonate with this dialogue 🙃🙃

『 🫀 』

a game i played

today's game is... va-11 hall-a: cyberpunk bartender action! also known as waifu bartending and the true lesbian experience

time to mix drinks and change lives.

i first learned about it when my friend told me it was the type of game i would like. i looked it up and, wow he wasn't wrong. it really did look like something I'd be into. so when the steam spring sale rolled around a few days or a week ago i bought it!

honestly the title is very direct with what the game is about. you play as Jill, a bartender in va-11 hall-a (referred to simply as Valhalla) in a technologically advanced world and a corrupt city. you serve drinks to your clients, have long conversations with them where stuff about the characters and world is revealed, and tolerate their weirdness. the game is visual novel heavy and focuses a lot on the talking, which is fine with me! i like the combination of lots and lots of dialogue and casual gameplay where uu still kind of need to use uur brain

there's a lot of cute girls in the game (re: waifu bartending and the true lesbian experience)

to the left is Dorothy, a lilim robot (basically an advancedsex robot. her product line in particular is modeled to be on the younger side physically) she's really sweet and bubbly and she has a kind personality. to the right is Dana, Jill's boss. i don't know much about Dana yet but a lot of mystery surrounds her. a lot of characters say she's very strong and there's lots of rumors about how she got her prosthetic arm (a lot of rumors may have been started by her.) also Jill's wallpaper is of herself and Dana together and she apparently has lots of photos of Dana in her gallery. i hope i can see them get together

i find the GUI very satisfying. there's also a home segment where uu sit at home with Jill's cat, fore, and browse Jill's phone. uu can also buy stuff. Jill gets distracted very easily so sometimes uu have to buy things from the online store so Jill would be less distracted at work (SO REAL she's the most accurate representation of ADHD lesbians ever)

since it takes place in a cyberpunk setting there's some political shit going on, the city they live in is a really Bad city with lots of crime and injustice, and the organization "white knights" (basically the cops but stronger and more organized) are known to be power hungry and use their power unfairly for the wrong reasons. also the prime minister seems a bit incompetent? there's also something about a hacker called Alice rabbit... but also at the start of the game, Jill had this weird dream about a girl and occasionally the girl appears on the bar's tv for a split second...... yeah there's a lot going on here

anyways i find the game really fun and i hope to play it more when i have more free time! im still super early in the game . i don't have a singular favorite character yet bc I'm still at the beginning so idk much about them yet and they all look cool to me!!

『 🪽 』

infodump about an oc

OKAY, SO! the oc i will discuss here is connected to nyxa, an oc i discussed here but reading that infodump isn't necessary to understand this one (not like anyone reads these anyway /lh)

remmeber when i said that, as far as nyxa knows she's the only surviving member of her family after they all killed each other?? WELL! that's wrong she's not the only survivor. her older sister survived as well!

this is Amos faust! (or fraust... i spelled her last name differently sometimes) although Amos isn't really her real name, it's just an alias that she always goes by. shes the head of a detective agency! (in my phoebe and nyxa infodump i mention that nyxa becomes a head of a detective agency when she's an adult. she takes over amos' agency)

her backstory is she studied in cloud tower but in her 3rd year she dropped out and disappeared. no one came looking for her because.. no one really knew her, yk? she was quiet, mysterious, she avoided everyone and everyone avoided her. eventually after leaving cloud tower she began a personal investigation where she hunted down a specific person/group that had something to do with her family's demise (like an enemy of the family) and it led her to a detective agency. she concluded that her target was the director. so she entered the agency, climbed the ranks,became trusted and known within the agency, until she had the opportunity to get close enough to the director and kill them. except, she was wrong about her target, so now she had the blood of an innocent person on her hands. out of genuine guilt and regret (and also because she was emotionally attached to this agency and she figured she would have an easier time continuing her investigation within the agency) she pulled some strings and appointed herself as the new director. and she has been the director for the past ██ years.

Amos is a very eccentric person, and those who don't know her well might even regard her as scary. she arrives to strange conclusions, she comes up with strange plans, but somehow her plans always work. most of the time. the people working under her have learned not to question it. she's very skilled at fighting, spywork, reading and using people, etc. it's hard to know if any of her current personality is even true. but sometimes, one can observe that she genuinely cares for the few people who are very close to her, such as her sister nyxa and her assistant. shes also sarcastic, unafraid to speak her mind, really confident in herself and her abilities.

so how do Amos and nyxa meet again?

basically in their 3rd year at alfea, students can sign up as for different part time jobs with agencies that alfea partnered with. there's a wide range of jobs and it's meant to help the students get familiar with the work environment of the career they want to pursue in the future. yk, gain some experience, make connections, get a paycheck, etc. phoebe and nyxa try applying for many jobs but in the end they go with a detective agency. very few students applied for it so they easily get hired after they attend the orientation and pass the test, and also they think it's really cool

when they applied and worked there for a few weeks/months, the director was away on a long business trip so nyxa didn't immediately realize that her fucking sister was in the agency. and idk if she would realize it immediately either. because she hasn't seen her sister in YEARS and i like to think something separated them very early in their lives so they weren't close at all. but Amos would immediately recognize her i think

but yeah. skipping past the specifics of the situation: eventually nyxa learns the truth, she's no longer alone, she still has surviving family etc. nyxa and Amos try to rebuild a familial bond again but it's awkward bc its like.... honestly at this point in their lives they're like strangers to each other. but it's okay they take the time to get to know each other again

i like to imagine nyxa and Phoebe going on missions together with Amos as their chaperone/guardian/protector/guide ^_^

anyway yeah that's all i have to say i think

#🎀﹕ ribbon anon 𝜗𝜚 ︵#🎮﹕ press start 𝜗𝜚 ︵

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cutiedwaekki · 1 year

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PuppyM Detective

Chapter 2 : Examination

I was on my way home after the call Jisung had just made, he could be dramatic at times but I knew the last few days had been tough. As an assistant to city councillor Jung Wooyoung, he found himself being around in an in-between position where either he was offered another job or he was unemployed. I guess if he's ordered so much food it's probably one of the two.

As I walked to the front, I thought about the potential guilty and, above all, the potential suspects in this case. In this case, anyone could be guilty; anyone Councilman Jung had met 24 hours before his death was a suspect! I'd ask Jisung about his schedule that days

Well, obviously Jisung wasn't one of the suspects, since on the evening of Mr Jung's death he was with me watching The Howls Moving Castle for the umpteenth time. I let him choose this film, although I must have seen it enough times to know the lines by heart, and so does he.

But the more I thought about it, the more suspicious Minho and Jeongin seemed. After all, they were the only ones we knew nothing about, and even the rumors didn't make sense. Some said they were brothers, others married or friends. Sons of Chaebol or fugitives on the run. Jeongin was always well-dressed in a three-piece suit, while Minho preferred more comfy clothes.

But that scene just now really disturbed me, I wonder what they're hiding from. I bet if I find that out, everything will be clearer.

-Finally you're here Minnie, I thought I was going to have to eat everything without you!

-Pff, don't say that, idiot, you'd be able to eat an entire buffet without giving me so much as a crumb!

-Then consider it an act of generosity," he said, before shoving a doughnut into my mouth as soon as I'd set foot in the house.

Jisung was my one and only friend here. We've known each other since at least elementary school. I know him as well as he knows me, and we've always been able to count on each other. If tomorrow the world becomes chaotic, he's the only one I'll trust

And then it's almost cute the way he introduces me to others, I'd heard how he praised my achievements in finding the reason for Mr Lee and Ms Yang's divorce when in reality if Jisung hadn't had that stupid song in his head, Ms Yang wouldn't have mentioned her idol lover to us.

-You think too much Minnie, come and relax!

-You're probably right, but this murder story is really ... fasinating"

-Do you have any leads? he asked as he continued to eat.

-Sure but not necessarily reliable ... and how are you doing at work at the moment?

-Oh, if you only knew! Don't ask me how, I don't know myself, but as I was the only one to know Mr Jung's schedule in detail, the mayor's office decided to appoint me as an interim councillor until another election could be helds

My jaw dropped at this news, while Jisung acted as if he had just uttered a banality

-So you're the city councillor?!

- "In a way, but Wooyoung didn't do anything interesting, I spent the day sitting in his office, filling out papers and eating.

-Do you remember what he did the day he died, or where he went?

-Good question ... I think he went to a few meetings in the village next door and as he had no time he ordered something from LeeBit cock because and I quote "he loves his cinnamon doughnuts".

I chuckled softly. If there's one thing typical of Jisung, it's his humility and ability to remember nothing except when it involves food.

- "He didn't do anything else?"

-Afterwards he went out a few times without saying anything, I think he spoke to the Mayor Mr Bahng and maybe he went to Dwaekki & BbokAri Bakery. By the way, it was Changbin hyung who gave me all those pastries!" He said, referring to the box showing their logo: a mix of a pig and a pink rabbit holding hands with a smiling chick .... it was cute

- "Do you know if he was preoccupied or something like that lately?"

-No more than that, Mr. Jung and I weren't very close to him.

-I see, thank you Hannie, you're a great help!

"You're welcome! But don't you dare go investigating now" he began, grabbing my arm with force and holding me down on the sofa "I told you I'd share and I've had enough to eat for today, so at least enjoy these Minnie pastries" he begged, looking at me with love on his face.

-But hyung... I have to... well ok you win"

Jisung mimed a victory sign before angling the box towards me.

-Eat what you want, you've got plenty of time ... well, you've got to eat it all before tomorrow, so you've got no choice".

These words made me laugh, and I quickly grabbed one of the cookies and tasted it. The taste was exquisite, and the caramelizing aspect of the cookie mixed with the three-chocolate chip made it even more perfect than it already was.

-You see, it's delicious! Tomorrow we'll go and see Changbin hyung and Felix, they've promised me lots of free pastries if I bring you back!"

- "I didn't know you were close to them!

- "Since Mr Jung often went to see them, I sometimes took orders for him, so I got to know them better.

I see ... maybe he could tell me something about Minho then!

- "What about Lee Minho?"

- "Oh him? There's so much to tell! And I can assure you that everything you're about to hear is true!"

I looked at him slightly skeptical, but put my ear to the ground to listen, savouring the sweets in the box

-Basically, he and Jeongin are half-brothers, they have the same father, but Minho was born out of wedlock, and that's pretty bad form for a chaebol".

- "Wait, so they really are rich kids?"

-Don't cut me off! So I was saying, from what I remember, he said he'd moved to the city with his brother to cut ties with his family, who only saw him as a source of disappointment, even though he was a good heir to his business empire after studying commerce. Afterwards, I don't remember everything, it was several months ago and I was probably drunk".

-You drunk? Can I at least have the context of how you got all this information?"

- "There's some things you just don't get!"

That was already too much I couldn't help but gasp loudly

-You slept with Lee Minho?!

- "Yah my sex life is none of your business," he said, tossing me a pillow, which I evitas before tossing him another.

A pillow fight ensued, as we bickered, insulted each other and said meaningless things until, after a sudden movement, I found myself right on top of him... our bodies inches apart... I blushed as old memories came back to me. I stammered a few excuses before sitting down again and for eating another cookie.

Well ... there's nothing left ... did I really eat it all? wow i hope this doesn't became an habit.

-"Tell me again why do i have to help you hyung?"

- "Because you have to be discreet, Jeongin, I told you! Since the other pseudo-detective has been trying to investigate the death of the former town councillor".

- "But we didn't do anything wrong, why should we care about him?"

- "Dare you tell me we really have nothing to complain about?"

- "It's okay, it's not like we killed him"

The oldest pauses for a moment before sighing heavily and continuing to clean the coffee with Jeongin's help.

- "Then I don't trust him, his father's a cop and his friend's taken the place of the former town councillor, here he's the one leading the dance".

- "Hyung, you're hiding something, aren't you?"

Minho chuckled before kissing his younger brother's forehead thoughtfully.

-Don't ask questions you already know the answer to.

-Channie ~ I missed you, you know? What can I do for our beloved Mayor?"

The aforementioned mayor greeted Hyunjin shyly before settling down at a table in a corner where no one would notice him and Hyunjin.

-A-As usual, please" he mumbled timidly, trying to put on a straight face.

- "Don't worry, I'll be right there" he said with a wink as he walked provocatively into the kitchen.

You see, Chan had been under a lot of stress lately with the whole murder thing, even though no further investigation had been carried out. And let's not talk about the villagers and policemen who demanded that Kim Seungmin stop trying to investigate, as he had a great talent for disrupting the whole town!

So that's what he did, he asked Jisung to summon Seungmin to his office and as he asked him to stop all activity, the latter refused and claimed that Chan was doing it to cover up for someone or to protect himself.

-It's not that... I'm only thinking of the welfare of the village-"

- "Nonsense! You're silencing a citizen who's trying to punish a criminal!"

- "Mr. Kim, calm down!

- "Of course you powerful people have nothing to worry about! Sitting behind a desk getting fat and ready to accept the slightest bribe!"

Offended, he got up to face him, not even noticing how his belly was starting to hang out of his shirt.

-Get out of my office! If I have to call the police, I will!

Seungmin turned and walked towards the door with an air of disinterested of his speech before adding "look at the file on your right, if you try to intervene against me again I'll have these photos published" before leaving the mayor's office.

Curious , Chan looked at the file and his jaw droppep when he saw that it was photos of him and Hyunjin kissing or about to go upstairs to one of Hyunjin's bed'n breakfast rooms. Enough to destabilize the oldest

-Is everything all right, Channie? Do you seem out of it?" Hyunjin asked, placing his order on the table "Do you need me to destress you?" He said with a look full of dirty thought

-N-No! Well, I wouldn't mind, but ... well ... argh it exhausts me".

Although the relationship between Hyunjin and Chan had so far been limited to sex, they were still good friends and could confide in each other without any problems. So as soon as Hyunjin realized that his state of mind wasn't just stress, he sat down beside him to reassure him: "Do you want to talk about it?

-That's it.

He handed the file to hyunjin, who took it in his hands to analyze its contents. He was quickly surprised to find that someone had been spying on them over the last few weeks. Now he understood better why Chan was so stressed! This kind of scandal could cost him his position as mayor and bring him down in his role.

-Whos the son of a bitch who dared to send you this?

- "It's... Kim Seungmin ... I told him I didn't want him to continue his investigation into Jung Wooyoung's death, but he insulted me for no reason and threatened me with this.

Hyunjin's blood boiled inside him. At that moment, he wanted with all his soul for Seungmin to pay for having caused so much harm to Chan, a good man with an unspeakable fantasy.

-You'll see, I'll take care of him.

-Jinnie ... I don't want anything bad to happen to you too".

- "Don't worry Channie, you know I wasn't just a model in the past, I know a few ways to make a busybody like Kim Seungmin swallow his tongue".

- "You're starting to scare me Hyunjin..."

- "Stay out of it Channie and eat, I've doubled your portions allrs porfite"

Hyunjin winked at him for the umpteenth time before moving off to other customers

-You know, Lixie, I feel bad doing this.

- "Don't say that Binnie, you know we had no choice."

- "I know, but... he didn't ask for it"

- "Listen, you know who asked us to do this and we owe him a great debt"

Changbin sighed deeply, realizing that Felix was right. Given their fantasies and fetish, which they openly share, they had been contacted to fatten someone up. Let's just say that things had gone well so far, despite a few circumstances.

-Jisung is going to come with Seungmin today?

-I don't think so, you know how he likes to keep it to himself, he's a real magnet with him".

- "I've never seen them together in the street but I guess you're right."

- "But of course we're cuter than them" added the youngest making Changbin giggle.

The couple took advantage of a brief moment when no customers were present to kiss chastely, while Felix let his hands wander along his husband's body.

-Do you need a chair, sweetheart? It must be so heavy to carry so much weight".

- "Please, Lixie, I feel my legs are going to give out at any moment"

The brunette giggled before slumping into the first chair Felix gave him, breathing heavily. Lately he'd become so fat that he needed a pair of pins to fasten his apron, even though it was useless as he spent most of his day eating or kissing his husband.

Outside, opposite the three stores, Seungmin was standing there, calpin in hand, Jisung at his side.

-Where do we start? asks Jisung

The youngest thinks for a few moments before coming to a decision.

- "We could go for Leebit's bite first, as they seem really suspicious, then Jinrinet bowl, as I bet Mr Bahng has spoken to him, and finish with Dwaekki and BbokAri's bakery.

Or start with Jinrinet bowl and finish with Leebit's bite".

-A difficult choice" commented Jisung.

As Seungmin prepared to choose. He decided to list all the potential suspects, from the most to the least suspicious, to make it easier to know where to start.

#weight gain #my fic #my fics #skz chubby

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

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Keeper Summer

Over the 2022 summer, on Shannon Messenger's Instagram, there was an event called Keeper Summer; deleted quotes from Stellarlune and video compilations of various moments in the series were shared.

However, since that was on IG and the videos were hard to sit through, I've compiled everything here so you don't have to click on a bunch of links and go searching for things.

This went on for several weeks, two things shared each week, so there is a fair amount of scrolling ahead.

Deleted lines and videos were alternated during the event, but I've grouped things together for simplicity's sake. Additionally, there were some mistakes in the videos, so I've corrected the most obvious; however, I wasn't editing or verifying quotes, so things may be off.

Enjoy!

Compilation Videos

(the moments in each video are in reverse order leading up to number one, and in each video number one is listed as "your favorite moment!" for the viewer to substitute in their own personal favorite moment)

Each quote is in it's own indent, the book it's from listed in parenthesis at the end (excluding the first, where all are from Nightfall)

Six Times Sophie and Amy Had the Best Sister Vibes in Nightfall:

Her sister snorted. "You make it sound like you're Super Elves. All you're missing are the capes Sophie bit back a smile. "Actually...we do wear capes--but not because of that." Her sister stared at her like Sophie had just admitted she had a detachable head.

"Who are you?" her sister asked, backing away from the guys standing slightly behind Sophie. "That's Fitz," Sophie said, pointing to a dark-haired boy whose teal eyes flashed as he offered a smile that would put any movie star to shame. "And that's Keefe." "Keefe gave her sister his famous smirk, reaching up to smooth his expertly tousled blond hair. "Don't worry--we're all in the Foster Fan Club." "They're my friends," Sophie clarified when her sister shrank back another step. "You can trust them."

But her sister was still trembling by the end, and her eyes were red and puffy. "I know this isn't going to make any of it better," Sophie said, holding her sister tighter. "But I've done this before. The part where it all feels hopeless, and like it's never going to come together. and you know what? Somehow, it does. It's never perfect. But it's usually better than I'd been fearing."

But before Amy stepped into the light, she told Sophie, "Thank you. For today. And for all the scary things you've been doing. I don't know how it's all going to work out, but...I'll be fighting for the happy ending too."

"Take care of yourself, okay?" Sophie whispered. Her sister nodded. "And you keep...saving the world." Sophie smiled through her tears. "I'll try." Neither of them said goodbye.

Nine Reasons We <3 Fitz Vacker:

"Oh." Sophie didn't have much more to say than that. Except, "Well, now you know how weird I am." "Uh, I've always known that," Dex said, sitting on her other side. "But Remember? I like weird." "Me too," Biana chimed in. "Me three," Fitz added, smiling so wide when she met his eyes that her heart fluttered. "We could all use a little more weird in our lives." (Exile)

"I'm telling you the truth, Sophie. I don't know what else to say." "Okay," she agreed. If he refused to be serious, so would she. "Fine. I'm an elf. Am I supposed to help Frodo destroy the ring and save Middle-earth? Or do I have to make toys in the North Pole?" He let out a sigh--but a smile hid in the corners of his mouth. "Would it help if I showed you?" (Book 1)

Keefe glanced at Fitz, then back to her. "Telepaths," he grumbled. Fitz grinned at her, and this time everything inside Sophie turned fluttery. (Exile)

"Well, it's like you're saying, 'Hey, Sophie, take everything you've ever learned about anything and throw it away.'" "Actually, that is what I'm saying." He flashed a smug grin. "Humans do the best they cane--but their minds can't begin to comprehend the complexities of reality." (Book 1)

But he was also the boy who'd shown up on her class field trip and shown her where she really belonged. The one who'd let her cry on his shoulder when she had to leave her family, and who'd gone out searching for her in the middle of nowhere, just because he'd heard her voice in his head. "Okay," she said quietly, hoping she wouldn't regret the decision. "So what do we do next?" (Everblaze)

"Empaths," Fitz grumbled. "Just keeping you honest. So spill. What did you see in the Mysterious Miss F.'s mind?" Fitz turned to Sophie, and even in the dim light she could see the red flush in his cheeks. "I might have seen some other stuff--but it wasn't really thoughts. It was more like...feelings." (Neverseen)

His mind went quiet, and Sophie figured he'd dozed off with the others. But right as her mind started to drift, he added, I'll always be here if you need me. (Lodestar)

"So that still freaks you out, huh? that might be proof that it needs to happen." His eyes locked onto hers, refusing to let her look away. And when she swallowed, it was so loud, she was sure the entire world heard it. "Or," he said. "We could skip the talking." "And do what?" she asked, hating her voice for cracking. "Any ideas?" He was so close now, she could feel his breath warming her cheeks. (Lodestar)

Nine Reasons We <3 Keefe Sencen:

"Embrace the sparkled, Foster," Keefe told her. "They look good on you." (Flashback)

Keefe let out a sigh that sounded more like a groan. "And I thought secret Telepath conversations were the worst. Just so we're clear," he told Tam. "I'm the president of the Foster fan club. And we're closed to new members." (Neverseen).

Keefe smirked. "No big deal. I would rock that metal diaper. But I say that this hearing will be done in an hour--and if I'm right, you have to call me Lord Hunkyhair from now on." Sophie shook her head. "You guys are terrible." "That why you love us!" Keefe draped his arm around her shoulders. "you should get in on this, Foster. I'm sure that devious mind of yours can come up with some particularly humiliating ways to punish us if we're wrong." (Flashback)

When she didn't answer, he took both of her hands, and she couldn't ignore the rush of warmth that tingled through her when she met his eyes. There was no teasing glint to be found. Just pure determination when he told her, "Because Team Foster-Keefe is going to win." (Nightfall)

"So is it strange coming here and not being the one on trial?" keefe asked, checking his expertly styled blond hair in a shiny facet on one of the jeweled walls before he followed Sophie into Tribunal Hall. "Because I'd be happy to help you break a few laws if you're feeling left out." "Me too!" Ro--Keefe's bodyguard--jumped in. (Flashback)

"Fine--but you should at least have to write an epic poem in my honor. here--I'll help you. 'Ode to Keefe Sencen--that brace, lovable nut. He may not have teal eyes, but he has a really cute--'" "KEEFE!" (Lodestar)

"You can ignore it all you want, Foster, but sooner or later you're going to have to solve the triangle. Or should we get real and call it a square?" "I have no idea what you mean." "I'm pretty sure you do. I bet if I were there I could feel your mood shifting." "Right, because I'm trying to figure out if it's possible to strangle you with my thoughts!" (Lodestar)

Keefe's smile looked sad but determined as he stepped back and took Sophie's hand. "I'm always with you, Foster. Whatever you want, I'm in." (Flashback).

Six Moments We Wished We Could Be Friends With Linh IRL:

"So do you," Linh said, spinning her brother around to face her and resting her hands on his shoulders. "You stood by my side all the years I fought with my ability. I'll stand by yours through whatever comes--whether you open yourself to this darkness or choose to keep it far away. And I know you can handle it." Tam gave Linh's shoulders a gentle squeeze before he stepped away. (Flashback)

"No, I think it means we shouldn't pass judgement until we see how things play out. Actions never tell the whole story. Good can be done for the wrong reason. And bad can be misunderstood." (Lodestar).

Linh peeked her head over his shoulder. "This is fun! I never get to see Tam blush." She pinched her brother's cheeks, and Tam rolled his eyes and stalked into the Healing Center, with Linh giggling right behind him. (Flashback)

"I was wrong to fear this. The water doesn't get to command me anymore. Only I command it. And I think I can save the city." (Nightfall)

Linh grinned. "I think I need to get Happy Shadow Thoughts embroidered on a tunic for you--with a bunch of smiley faces." "I definitely think I need to see him wear that," Sophie agreed. 'Especially if it's pink." "Hot pink," Linh decided. "With sparkly letters." "And it should say Angry echoes--beware! on the back!" Sophie added. (Flashback)

Six Foods We Wish We Could Eat From The Keeper Series:

She couldn't tell what was in Calla's famous starkflower stew, but Mr. Forkle was right. It truly was life changing. Every bite felt like home, warming her from the tips of her toes to the top of her head and making her feel safe, happy, and loved. (Neverseen)

Mallowmelt turned out to be a gooey cake that tasted like fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies soaked in ice cream and covered in frosting and butterscotch. It melted on her tongue and was, hands down, the best thing Sophie had ever tasted. (Book 1)

For once Dex had good taste in candy. It was sweet and chewy--like caramel mixed with peanut butter and filled with cream. (Prattles, Book 1).

But it was worth it when Keefe gave her the last bite of the butterblast, which was chewy like a doughnut but tasted like pancakes hot off the griddle and was filled with some sort of thick, maple-y cream. It was quite possible the most amazing thing she'd ever put in her mouth--and that was saying something, considering she lived in a world with mallowmelt and custard bursts and ripplefluffs and pudding puffs. (Flashback)

Edaline smiled. "Chocolate, butterscotch, and lushberry. I made them this morning." Brant pried open the lid, pulled out a square purple puff that looked a bit like a colored marshmallow and took a bite. Pink juice dribbled down the scar on his chin as he smacked his lips and stuffed the rest in his mouth. "Aren't custard bursts the best thing you've ever tasted?" he asked Sophie, spitting bits of crumbs. (Everblaze)

Six Times Iggy Was The Best Pet:

"Plus, he's so cuddle, and my room feels so empty at night and--" "You want to keep him in your room?" Sophie interrupted. Biana's cheeks flushed. "I know he's your pet. I just thought it might help me sleep." "He snored like a growling bear," Sophie warned. "But if you want to brave it, I can tell Iggy likes you." "I like him, too." Biana slipped her fingers through the bars of the cage and Iggy snuggled against them. (Neverseen)

Biana tried nudging Dex's shoulder. And flicking his ear. And kicking his leg. Nothing worked--until she put Iggy on Dex's pillow. One good Iggy burp in the face and Dex was sputtering and coughing and looking very disoriented. (Lodestar)

Vivid nightmares of her human family, trapped in their old house, surrounded by fire. She knew it wasn't real, but she still woke up shivering every night. It got so bad she slept with Iggy on her pillow so she wouldn't be alone. (Book 1)

Tears burned her eyes and she grabbed Iggy and nuzzled his fuzzy nose, trying not to feel so alone and afraid, and wishing she could go back to a time when she didn't have to worry about things like fading and kidnappers and memory breaks. (Exile)

It wasn't until her lungs burned that she realized she'd stopped breathing. She hugged her chest as her body shuddered. Iggy crawled up her shoulder and snuggled into her neck, like he knew she needed a friend. (Book 1)

Seven Times Ro Was The Best Bodyguard:

"Pretty sure she's not talking about your wound--in case you didn't catch that," Ro told him. (Nightfall) She shrugged when Sophie glanced at her. "What? He's a clueless guy. Figured I should help him out."

"Hunkyhair and I still have plenty of chaos to cause, don't we?" (Unlocked)

"I swear, watching boys try to communicate is like watching amoebas," Ro told Sophie during the long silence that followed. "You just stare at their blobby little bodies and think, 'How do these things even function?'" (Legacy)

Ro whistled. "you know, when you're trying to impress a girl, it's probably better if you don't almost kill her." (Nightfall)

"It's simple: a traitor's a traitor, and they need to be punished so everyone understands there are consequences for treason. If you're not willing to end him, lock him up and destroy the key. Or better yet, leave it hanging in his line of sight so he has to stare at it forever, knowing he'll never be able to reach it." (Flashback)

"Ugh, you guys have really out-sparkled yourselves with this place. It's basically begging me to smash something." (Flashback)

Seven Times Tam Threw Major Shade:

"Then you don't have to do this," Sophie told him. "Seriously." He tugged his bangs over his eyes. "No. I guess I'll just...send my shadow into your head, and if my instinct don't kick in, I'll try to send some happy shadow thoughts or something to see if it makes the echo less angry." (Flashback)

"Dude--this guy uses more hair products than I do!" (Lodestar)

"No, you won't," Sandor told her. "You're much too smart to resort to such reckless behavior." Sophie's eyebrows shot up. "You sure about that? You've seen how much time I spend with Keefe." "I'll give her some pointers, too," Tam volunteered. "I picked up lots of tricks at Exillium." "And I have lots of prank elixirs," Dex added. "How many weeks fo you think the new guard would last before they'd run screaming back to Gildingham?" Tam wondered. (Flashback)

"How did you sleep?" Lady Gisela asked behind him, and tam kicked himself for flinching--but he hadn't heard the door open. "Awesome," he told her. "Nothing says 'sweet dreams' like a concussion. You should try it sometime. I'd be happy to knock you out." (Legacy, Tam's POV).

The world shifted into focus, and she realized she was staring at the ceiling of the healing Center, with a bruised, weary Dex leaning over her and boy next to him with black hair and silver-tipped bangs. "It's about time," Tam said, then winked one of his silver-flecked blue eyes. "Leave it to you to find a completely new way to almost die." (Flashback)

"What exactly are we looking for?" Tam asked. "Keefe doesn't hit me as the Dear Diary type--though if we find one, I call dibs." (Lodestar)

Six Times We Wished Dex Was Our BFF:

"Hey," Dex said--and when Keefe didn't respond, the bed shifted, like Dex had sat down beside him. "I'll see what I can come up with, okay? And if I can't figure it out, I'll check with Tinker. Or I can always have Sophie enhance me. Sometimes that helps me find the right answer." (Unlocked, Keefe POV)

"I know the stick part is weird," Dex said, "but I needed this thing to broadcast in all six technologies. The elves, orges, trolls, goblins, and dwarves were easy to figure out, but I had no idea what to do for the gnomes. I tried solar-powered stuf, but it still seemed too techie." Only Dex would decide to jab a gadget with a stick. "You should've heard him squeal when it worked," Fitz said. 'i thought a banshee had snuck into the room." (Neverseen)

"I kinda like Foster the Great," Dex went on, oblivious to her annoyance--or perhaps because of it. "But I still feel like we could do better. Hmmm. Wait! I've got it!" He paused for a beat, dragging out the suspense before he leaned in and whispered, "The Fos-Boss." (Legacy)

"I'm sorry I didn't check on you. I begged my dad to let me help with the Everblaze--mostly so I could make sure you were okay. But he said I wasn't experienced enough to handle quintessence. So I stayed up all night, watching my panic switch in case you called me. I even kept my shoes on so I wouldn't have anything to slow me down. But you never called." "I'm not going to drag you into danger, Dex." "But I want you to. That's why I made you that ring." (Legacy)

But before he leaped away he asked, "Still best friends, right?" A soft smile curled her lips, and her heart pulled back into place. "Forever." (Nightfall).

Deleted Stellarlune Lines

“Trees dig their roots deep into the earth, preparing for the wind to try to knock them down.” Flori sang the words like they were lyrics in a song.

“I’m not a tree,” Sophie told her. “I have to do more than protect myself.”

Ro draped her arm around Sophie's shoulders. “Nope, you’re not getting rid of me, Blondie. We’re in this together!”

Lord Cassius’s eyes narrowed. “It’s strange how quickly life can change, isn’t it? One minute, you’re a highly respected Emissary. The next …”

“Yeah, we all feel very  sorry for you.” Ro mimed gagging.

Ro smirked. “Only Lord Pretentiouspants would have a private thinking spot.”

Honestly, Miss Foster, you really should try managing your anxiety. Lord Cassius told her. You endure so much unnecessary stress.

I’ll keep that in mind once I don’t have people constantly trying to kill me, Sophie snapped.  

But Sophie wasn’t ready to give up on Keefe yet. Even if everyone else was.

Either way, Sophie had lots of weird feelings about family. It was so odd feeling like she had too much—and not enough—all at the same time. 

Hear that, Sophie?” Stina asked. “You’re earning the Neverseen’s respect. Doesn’t that make you feel super-great about your recent life choices?”

“I gotta say—the more I think about it, the more it seems like a super bad idea to mess with people’s memories," Ro told her. “I agree!” Sophie said. “And I say that as a Telepath! 

And that was the end of Keeper Summer! If you made it this far, congratulations! It's fitting the whole summer into one post, but hopefully there were some things you enjoyed :)

#kotlc #keeper summer #keeper of the lost cities #sure hope there aren't any obvious spelling errors on my part in here but also no i will not be checking #but here you go! I said I'd do this and then didn't get around to it for a while!#so this was keeper summer :)#the videos aren't.../bad/...but they're not engaging #so I went through all of them so no one else has to!#unless they want to #to that one nonsie who said they'd appreciate something like this several months ago I haven't forgotten you

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