#I regret that it took me 10 years to see it haha

[perplexingly]

i thought romanced Sera only calls the inquisitor silly nicknames but I just talked to her and she said "yes, love?"?? Sooo cute 😭

[hozaloza]

I'm forcing everyone to look at my Cranes pet/animal hcs Jasmine has a dog, cat and snake.

Thomas has a cat

Jasmine forced Thomas to make their cats have a play date. it was a success in Jasmine's words.

Thomas's cat is an orange and white tabby named Daisy.

Jasmine's pet names are: Dog- Mushu Cat- Meowvrick (He's a black cat with long fur, she had to name him after her boss <:sobbingBoss:1183934764386898000> ) Snake- Mr. Snoodle (She let her friend Jenifer pick this name. She regrets it afterwards 💀)

Jasmine used to have a big fluffy dog when she was a little kid. She was old but still energetic. She absolutely loved her. Sadly one day while on a walk, an unleashed dog tried attacking little Jasmine. Luckily her dog was there and defended her. Unfortunately, while her dog won, she was left heavily injured. She carried her back home (with struggle) and tried to help her, but it was too late. It took a lot of years after to get a new dog since she was heart broken

Jasmine kept a lot of centipedes in a little bucket and gave them names. They would always die and she cried every time (she was like 9) ((also she held funerals for them and completely forgot about them afterwords))

In 7th grade she went over to Thomas's house and saw that he had a pet bird. She loved spending her time with Cracker (Thomas named him 💀)

Oh yeah, Thomas had a pet bird named Cracker. He named him when he was 10.

Thomas would always bring home the most scrungkliest feral cats, and his parents would force him to let them back outside (he always cried bc he loved them a lot, even if they scratched his face up)

Jasmine and Ryan would always help him capture these cats. Mainly Ryan bc he knew what he was doing.

Ryan had a pet horse who he still visits to this day (horse was a baby when he got him)

Ryan is scared of every dog except his tiny little dachshund who he named Snake (he grew out of this fear eventually)

Ryan loved turtles as a kid. He had a pet turtle named Hank (they were kids ok--)

Ryan didn't like Thomas's bird as a kid (he bit his finger) Every time Ryan went to his cousin's house, he would immediately hide from their heeler dog (they lived on a ranch) Once while on the trampoline, his cousin's dog got on and Ryan started freaking out, struggling to get away since he was laying down.

He hates the rooster on his cousin's family ranch

Ryan took horse riding lessons

Maverick has a black axolotl who he named Latte (haha reference)

When Maverick was little, he was constantly surrounded by birds and other rain forestly type animals. He took care of 2 Scarlet Macaws that frequently visited his childhood home, a pet Capybara named Stinkle, and an Iguana named Chico

Maverick loves animals, give him a cat to play with and he melts immediately "Awhhh, aren't you a stinky little thing?? Yeah you don't like me, but I don't care. No one likes me either way!!" "Boss, we have to give the cat back" "No, she's mine now." "Boss--" "Ryan, can't you see we're bonding??" He says as the furious little kitten is biting him

Maverick is scared of horses (a horse licked him when he was little)

He LOVES cranes. He absolutely loves them. It's been his dream to have one as a pet, but sadly the only cranes that lives in the states is the sandhill crane and whooping crane, and they're illegal to own as pets. (He'll get one eventually)

When he got to see a crane up close once, his fixiation started HARD. Bring up a crane in discussion and he'll list off all the facts about them from the top of his head.

The crane trio gave him the axolotl for his birthday. Maverick didn't like aquatic type animals, so he was sorta pissed at first. But when he saw the axolotl was black, he fell in love. "You got me a fish…?" "Well, not really, it's an axolotl!" "…Whatever it is, I don't want that disgusting--" Sees it's black "….You're my baby now. I'm naming you Latte. I'll build an entire ecosystem for you, and we'll talk about cranes together." "…Told you he'll love it."

Alex is scared of cats (he got chased by an orange kitten when he was little)

He really likes Cheetahs, their swiftness intrigue him

He really wants a pet dog, but never found the time to make room for one (his job 💔 )

When Ryan and Alex move in together after this hell, Ryan got him a Golden Shepard breed, and Alex loved her (he cried when he held her in his arms)

Alex and Ryan are dog parents

They got a Doberman after

Crows are fairly fond of Alex, they constantly bring him little shiny jewels since he feeds them

------------------------

That's all I have for now </3

[ravennasgf]

Andy: Unwanted pt 2

TW: tiny bit of swearing (I think that’s it let me know if I missed any)

Andy’s pov

It’s been months since y/n left. We;ve been trying to track her down but I've had no luck. She knows how we operate so she knows what to do to stay hidden. My broken heart is full of guilt for the way I treated her leading up to and the day of her departure. 

“Arggg,” I cry out in frustration 

“It’s ok Andy we’ll find her,” Booker says comforting me

“I'm struggling to keep faith, I really hurt her,” I reply.

Before Booker could reply, Copley rushes in. 

“I found her, she’s in Monaco,” he rushes out 

“Lets go everybody!” Nile yells, moving us into action. 

~~~~

We finally made it to Monaco in the early evening. Copley was tracking her movements. She headed to a casino. We go to follow but as we get to the car park we notice everyone was dressed up. 

“Let's go dress the part so we blend in,” I say. The team nods following Copley as he knows where the best places are.

~~~

Dressed in suits, tuxes and dresses (gross I know) We arrive back at the casino entering the casino we split up to cover more ground. 

Walking around grabbing a drink, I listen out and look for any sign of her. 

“Haha that’s four in a row, do you wanna go for a fifth straight loss?” I hear a familiar voice say. I look around and spot her wearing a royal blue off the shoulder dress. She looks up and our eyes meet.

“On second thoughts, that’s enough for me,” she says. I try to make my way towards her. As I arrived at the table she was playing at she’d disappeared. 

I rush towards the front doors but she’s nowhere in sight. The team finds me at the front. 

“Did you find her?” Joe asks

“For a few seconds before she disappeared again,” 

“It’s ok we’ll catch her eventually,” Nicky says. 

“We just need her to surface again,” Nile says 

~~~

y/n's pov

After Andy found me in Monaco I fled the country. Heading to Australia for a nice relaxing time by the beach. Arriving at the hotel I settle in before changing into a bikini to go swimming. 

Seeing Andy made the memories  resurface. 600 years we’ve been married and for the last 10 years we’ve been like we were. I don’t know what I did wrong but I wish I did so I know how to fix it so I can be wanted by her again. 

I shake the thoughts away trying to enjoy the time I have here. 

A week later I am found by Andy again and run once more. This time to Italy for the food (obviously). 

Two weeks later I regretted that as Nicky and Joe are Italian I should’ve known they’d come here. Flying to Japan, i’m found by them I'm taking a karate class. 

I go back to monaco to gain someone more money as I’m running out. Winning more than I need. I go to England where i’m found. I go to France. Sitting in a cafe I spot Andy in the distance I leave the note I’d written on the table  which read:

Andy

Please stop looking for me. We both know you don’t want me anymore. Please save what’s left of my heart y/n y/l 

As I disappeared with a bus in front of me. I head to the airport to head to Greece. Once in the hotel I took a quick nap before changing into a bikini to go swimming. 

~~~~

Andy’s pov 

Finding y/n in France was a miracle. As I start getting close to her a bus comes between us once it’s passed she’s gone. I run to where she had been sitting. Seeing a piece of paper. Reading it caused my heart to break even more. I really did a number on her and it hurts so much to know I caused this with my stupidity. 

Beyond frustrated with myself for causing this I focus on finding her again. 

~~~~~~~~~ 

A week later she’s spotted in Greece. We pack and get on the next plane to Greece. 

Y/ns pov 

Sunbathing in Greece has always been enjoyable. Too absorbed in my day dreaming I didn’t notice Andy or the team nearby. 

Feeling a shadow come over me I look up and see Andy standing over me.

“You scared me,” 

“I’m sorry but it’s the only way you wouldn’t run away,”

“I wonder why I’ve been running away,”

“I know, I’m sorry,” she says as I pack up my towel leaving the beach, Andy following close behind me. 

“Y/n, I’m really sorry, I was so caught up in the mission that I completely forgot about you and it wasn’t my intention to do so,” she yells out after me. I turn around. 

“Will you please hear me out?” 

“Fine, you have five minutes,” 

“Like I said with all my focus on the mission I unintentionally forgot about you and when you tried to talk to me that night, I took my frustration out on you and I regret it with my whole heart I should never have yelled at you, I should always make time for you and I’m truly sorry for brushing you off when you needed to talk to me about something that’s so important and I’m so incredibly sorry,”

“Andy, you never spend time with me anymore one on one and it hurts but what hurts more is you brushing me off when I really needed you in the moment, I understand how important our job is but I hoped that you’d put it aside for a few minutes for me,” I tell her with tears in my eyes 

“Oh y/n I’m so sorry I really am. I’m sorry I made you feel unwanted. I never meant to make you feel that way and I’m sorry you do, I’ve missed you so much over the last few months and I understand how you felt with my absence and I felt like shit and I’m so sorry for making you feel the same way. I really want you back, nothing is the same without you there and …” she trails off, tears running down her beautiful face. 

“I want you back to Andy, but we need to have better communication I mean after 600 years you’d think we’d be good at it,” I joke 

“You’d think, but we’re not perfect but we’re perfect for each other,” she murmurs while smiling at me

“I agree,” I say with a smile.

“So will you come home?” She asks 

“Home is wherever I’m with you,” I reply 

“Then let’s go home,” she says, snaking her arm around my waist as we walk side by side to my hotel room. 

[unabashedpeachgentlemen]

genshin parents pt 3! (finally)

inazuma...it only took me 10 years... liyue version here and mondstadt version here

Ayaka would be the sweetest (albeit not the most present) mommy.

Hers, Ayato's, and Thoma's children would practically be raised together

The fact that she can't be as present as she wants KILLS her, but she makes sure to make up for it as much as she can with gifts, sweets, and quality time

Probably a bit overbearing when it comes to her kid's social life - she doesn't want them to be like her, after all. You'll frequently hear about how worried she is about their ability to make friends, and when they DO mention their friends, you'll hear about it for days on end.

Adamant about not putting too much pressure on her children, perhaps to the point of spoiling them.

100% has a scrapbook for her kids

Ayato cares greatly for his children just like Ayaka and regrets not being able to be around as much, but he doesn't quite spoil them as much as Ayaka.

As the family head, he does see them a good bit less than Ayaka can.

His kids would NOT be picky eaters. They catch on to his antics pretty young and harass Thoma's kids with their own 'interesting' dishes.

Probably overprotective of his kids. Oh, another child is picking on his own? He will personally intervene.

With Thoma's help, he organizes a family dinner every month. He unfortunately rarely gets to attend.

Gorou would definitely want to have a large family. You tease him about it, blaming his 'doggy instincts', but he just genuinely loves being a dad.

He won't admit it, but he would be absolutely over the moon if they shared his ears and tail. But don't worry, he'd love them just the same if they didn't!

With his first kid, he would 100% be posted by their bassinet 24/7 the first few days. Eventually, you figure it would be easier if you (carefully) just bedshared. This starts a trend where any of his kids will dogpile (haha) on your shared bed any chance they get.

Gets a little ahead of himself. When he even suspects a growth spurt going on, you come home to find waaay too many new little outfits. At least they're cute.

Despite still having an active military life, he'd try to shield his kids from war and violence the best he can.

Itto would be the most obnoxious dad in all of Inazuma. But he's so proud and loving nobody could fault him for it.

Loves being a dad just as much as Gorou, but would rather be one and done so he can pour all of his love into one kid without worrying about neglecting the others.

When he sees his kid's stubby little horns, he breaks down in tears. "They're - hic - theybe got mah horns..." he'd sob out. They stay stubby, but of course he's still just as proud of them.

LOVES giving his kid shoulder rides, almost more than his kid does. Seeing them hold on to his horns while they run amok and laugh and yell is a common sight.

When they're not riding on his shoulders, he's lugging them around like a football (and sometimes like a potato sack)

Thank the archons they share his strong oni blood because this boy is ROUGH with his kid. Wrestling, tossing them around, running through the forests together, you name it.

Thoma is another one that just loves to be a dad. He would probably want more than one, but maybe not a full sports team like Gorou.

In addition to being a loving dad, he also takes the role of Inazuma's Fun Uncle. He ends up taking care of Ayato's and Ayaka's children most of the time, and they're all very close.

I like to imagine that once he has a family, he tries to pay homage to Weinlesefest with them. Maybe he wishes he can take his kids to Mondstadt one day

If any of his kids (or anyone else's for that matter) gives him puppy dog eyes, he just can't resist giving in.

There's no way he doesn't spoil his kids. His kids practically own this poor man.

He is ALWAYS looking at small little gifts to give them

[jzibbles]

dark urge,, the · 10-20 hrs, clipstudiopaint

Last year, Baldur's Gate 3 took so many hours of my life and I have no regrets. !!!

I'm currently playing a ranger-bard durge on our second run (first go at tactician, we're in act III now). it's super fun! I headcanon that my durge loves monies (started rogue thief), got lazy for a bit (I put the min in min max), got depressed and regressed into murderous ways for a bit (gloomstalker), but after uhhh playing his lyre for his enemy's corpses out of memery, realizes that.... Playing music is actually fun? Or something. But still has to pull some weight (ranger bard), haha. He is now kind of in his belated high school emo rock moment. As emo rock as you can be playing bard dance on a lyre, anyways. (Mostly I wanted to try a support role.)

Yes, my durge's in game name is actually "dark urge,, the" . This is because our first try when I specced durge, I was "dark urge, the" , but my partner specced into paladin then immediately broke his Oath so we had to restart. SMFH.

Timelapse coz it's fun:

Yes, originally I wanted to draw a much meme-ier thing -- when "dark urge,, the" first started playing the lyre. Ah..... the poor populace.

...

Ehem! This was fun to draw. I mostly wanted to practice composition & lighting / rough rendering w this piece. I've gotten too used to rendering fine details that I'm not so used to thinking about the legit bigger picture, so this was a fun exercise for that. The color palette was also a fun challenge, you can see it actually started very different looking. Here was a mid-progress shot.

Hm ha, I'm glad I kept pushing it. The final piece looks way better than I'd hoped it could be. SFX are still new to me, so they're kinda eh, but not too bad for an early go.

Was it necessary to put the name on the final image? Yes. In Copperplate.

[when-gravity-has-fallen]

Okay I need to talk about Mr. And Mrs. Pines (Dipper and Mabel's parents) somewhere because idk how much will be revealed via asks. Maybe I'll write a proper fanfiction someday but for now I'm just yapping. The Axolotl should not have given me this power haha.

CONTENT WARNINGS FOR THE FOLLOWING: 🚨⚠️

Death, injury, car accidents, abuse, family issues, cheating/infidelity, bad religious experiences, general discussion of war, and discussion of divorce

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED SOMETHING. I apologize in advance for possible missing warnings.

First off, Dad Pines' name is Connor amd Mom Pines' name is Lillian! Because why not? That's just the names I came up with 2014 and it's just continued to feel right ever since.

So that baby? Held in Caryn Pines' arms in A Tale of Two Stans? That confuses the hell out of everyone? Yeah that baby.

In my version of events here that baby is Shermie's kid. Dad Pines.

As is a popular headcanon, I also have Shermie being a Vietnam veteran and Ma Pines was helping Mrs. Shermie (I've called her Emma for a long time. Don't ask why. Maybe her name will change idk) to care for Baby Connor, which is what we see during the fight between the OG Mystery Twins.

When Shermie finally returns home from war, he finds out that Stan was kicked out by Filbrick, which... he's not happy about. As a result he moves his family west to Reno, Nevada. Due to moving, general hustle-bustle of life, and raising a family, he unfortunately is unable to contact Stan. He couldn't attend the funeral due to work conflicts and regrets not going. (Well. Until Ford comes back that is. Likely before or at some point during their boat travels they give ol Sherman a visit)

The Pines (aka Shermie and "Emma") also raise their family as Jewish but are more casual in it than Filbrick and Caryn were. Shermie in particular is more casual, especially after Vietnam whereas Emma is more devout.

They also have three more sons after Connor. Idk/remember their names. I'll just say one of them is Abraham. No they don't have a lot of details or relevance. Sorry kids.

Either during Connor's late high school years or time in college he becomes agnostic.

He's a football fool and he was a quarterback for his team in high school.

___________

Lillian was the result of a sex worker at a bachelor's party. Her parents initially were both in Illinois but her father moved to Minnesota (or fudging East Dakota if Bill is right about it not being real). She didn't know her father (John) until she was ~10, when she came under his care due to the passing of her beloved mother (Margaret).

Her father was shocked as to her existence and had to put together two and two. Something in him couldn't turn her away so he took her in.

Her stepmother (Agatha) was unfortunately of the Cinderella kind. She was very unhappy about the physical manifestation of her husband's infidelity and therefore shunned Lillian. Her father despite being unable to turn Lillian away, rarely properly parented her and stayed out of conflicts between his daughter and wife.

John and Agatha were Lutheran Christians, dragging Lillian to church until she was 14. As a little girl she liked it but developed a nullness over time, especially with how other church members discussed single mothers and sex workers. She became agnostic over the course of her teens.

She loved playing hockey in her spare time.

Lillian had two half-brothers and though they weren't the closest they helped make her home life more bareable.

Close enough she'd miss them when she finally was able to jump ship at 18.

And wouldn't you know it? She eventually came to Reno.

__________

Connor during his college years was a frat boy and became overly confident in his approach with women. Therefore when the fraternity were celebrating their graduations/last time officially together, he is *shook* when the most beautiful woman (one of the bartenders) he's ever seen replies to his pick-up line like this-

Connor: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Lillian: Are you calling me Satan?

Considering how Connor.exe was not working she tells him she's just joking, getting no response (or really anything indicating he's alive aside from an occasional blink). One of his buddies comes up teasing him and orders them drinks.

Yet throughout the night he can't stop thinking about her and occasionally glances over, watching her in her rhythm making drinks or wiping down the counter.

A couple days later, he decides to try that new diner (it'd actually been around almost a year but I digress) for breakfast. Lo and behold, Lillian is also a waitress there!

Despite the food or beverages not being his favorite it becomes his routine to go there. Any moment he can get to see this person who has caught his eye like none have before.

Around this time a few of his frat friends want to go have a weekend of fun in Vegas together and contact him. They arrange for the trip and head towards Vegas (Connor of course giving Lillian a heads-up).

Over time, they become good friends and it's now Connor's heart that has been caught as well. He means to ask her out but he keeps getting nervous just like he did with his first crush.

Then tragedy strikes.

They get into a terrible car accident, of which only Connor and one friend barely survive. The latter sadly passes later in the hospital.

When Lillian gets the news her stomach drops and races to figure out which hospital he's at. He's began to mean so much to her. She finally finds him, comatose.

She visits him whenever she can, meeting his family during those visits. Emma absolutely thinks her to be daughter in law material. Shermie does too he's just not vocal about it.

Connor finally reawakes and has to work through some grief (though maybe not all of it?). Lillian is by his side through it all.

When he's recovered the two start dating. Wahoo! They eventually get married! Wahoo! They get a house in Piedmont at some point (maybe an old vacation/summer home Sherman had? Idk)

_________

Around their early 30s in 1999 they have our favorite anxious boy and sparkly girl!

Emma is very excited for her grandkids and thus when they discover that their twins are boy/girl she releases a crapton of baby announcements. This is how Stan learns of them. He races down to Piedmont the closest weekend and surprises EVERYONE. He had to witness these twins for himself.

Stan becomes attached. He visits often. Him and Lillian actually bond quite a bit due to both having challenge in their pasts. As much as one can when disguised as their brother anyway.

(Shermie finds "Ford's" mannerisms similar to Stan's from what he can remember btw. Stan gives him the excuse of missing his brother. Knowing how the 2 could impersonate each other Shermie nods and moves on, much to Stan's relief)

This is how he ended up being there for the twins' birth.

______

I'm still figuring out the circumstances behind their martial issues in 2012.

Anyway regardless of how they got here, filled with emotions they attempt a divorce...only for the both of them to not be able to finish the paperwork. Deep down they still care so deeply for each other, how can they let go of everything they've built? The family they made? Not to mention how distressing it would be for their kids.

So despite their own skeptism with therapy, they're at their wit's end. They decide to try it. After all they could always still divorce if needed, why not give it a go? Turns out it's really good for them and they reconnect. So Dipper and Mabel get to come back to a healthier, happier, more wholesome household ☺️

And now that their parents have been introduced to the importance of therapy, they can get their now traumatized kids help...

They also renew their vows at some point with Mabel being the flower girl and Dipper bearing the rings.

That's pretty much all I have to say on them. I kinda love them a lot 🫶

Questions about these guys are so welcome, like seriously I've grown such an attachment to them.

[slaveofemma]

10 Years of Slavery - Ch. 22

I summarised my thoughts in a long message, sprinkled it with a lot of self-humiliation and apologies, and sent it to Ellie. And, soon after my phone rang. It was Ellie.

"Hey. You know, it's the first time you're doing something like this before I force you to do it. Or without any expectation of any rewards or something. You've finally freed yourself from your ego babe. I'm really touched. And impressed."

"I've done nothing Ellie. You are the one who taught me the manners and I'm thankful for that."

"No I'm serious. I was thinking that I should be leading you all the time, but seems like I was running behind. I should give you some credit for that, you impressed me and you deserve a reward. You can cum as much as you want for the next half an hour. And I'll help you."

"Oh thanks Ellie! Thanks a lot! You're great! Thank you..."

"Do you think you deserve it?"

"No, I know I don't."

"Then why did you accept it straight away?"

I couldn't find a response. But I knew that she had a point. But thankfully she didn't insist. I heard a chuckling and she continued:

"Haha, that's great babe! I love what you're becoming to. Don't worry, you'll get your reward. You have half an hour. Have fun!"

"I'm grateful Ellie, tha..."

The line turned silent.

I spent first couple minutes mindlessly lying on my bed, until a message appeared on my phone. It was a photo from Ellie. It took a couple very long seconds until my phone loads the photo. And then, it appeared on my screen, beautifully. It was a selfie. Ellie was lying on her bed. She had a beautiful smile on the corner of her lips, as always. Her feet was raised behind, showing me her soft soles. I felt an urge to reach and kiss her arches. Not her lips. I was filled with lust for her soft, lightly wrinkled soles. I locked my eyes on her feet while jerking off. I was imagining myself rubbing to her feet, while she was lying on the bed. I tried to feel the touch of her toes on my cock, while picturing her gorgeous ass and perfect legs right in front of me. I was jerking off dreaming of a footjob.

It took me under a minute until I landed a huge load on my own chest. Just a couple minutes later, I was getting hard again already. But luckily it took a little longer for me to cum this time. Again, my eyes were locked to the photo, and my mind was full of Ellie, mostly her feet.

The second orgasm calmed me down. I still had more than 10 minutes, but didn't have the energy to go for it for the third time. Instead, I wiped myself off quickly, and laid on my bed once again.

Then it hit me, the post-nut clarity. I was figuring out that I dug the hole I was in even deeper. I was adding more nails in my coffin. The position I put myself in her eyes -with the help of an enormous amount of sperm pushing through the skin of my balls- was even lower now. I regretted everything, and wanted to go to sleep as soon as possible.

I was slowly falling into sleep when my phone buzzed. It was Ellie again.

"Hey sweetie, your time is up! Did you have fun?"

"Hey.. yeah I did.."

"Sounds like you're already sleeping"

"I was just dozing off..."

"So you got relaxed then?"

"Yes, thanks for letting me Ellie. I really needed that."

"Not a problem. If you behave, you can get your reward. But did you see how much progress you made when you stop jerking off? I was talking about this, and I was right."

"Yes, you were right." I replied. I was still feeling regretful, a voice inside my head was shouting me to stop all this nonsense. But, she was entirely right. I was ready to devote my entire life to her, and then a minute after I was feeling sorry for myself.

"I love you!" she said to me. And suddenly, the voice inside my head drowned under a flood of emotions:

"I love you too Ellie, so much."

"So, now I can tell you about the weekend finally. I have so much to tell, and I need your opinion for some stuff. Where was I left?"

I figured out that now I had to listen her naughty weekend with a post-nut clarity instead of an horny eagerness. Now it was sickening to remember where she was left.

"You were on the bed with Dylan."

"Ah yes, I was telling you about how I sucked him off. Then you thought that I can do it to you as well one day haha!"

"I'm sorry for that Ellie. Won't happen again."

"Better won't. Actually we should talk about it a little. I know it's not easy but you should accept that you're a slave now babe. You're here to make me happy, not otherwise. I was very open to you about that I enjoy abusing you. And you begged me to keep you regardless. So howcome can you think about getting a blowjob from me?"

"I don't know, I thought we were going to be a normal couple when we got married in the future."

"Can you define me normal?"

"I mean like, any other couple."

"We are like any other couple. Both of us has expectations from a relationship that can make us happy, and we will stay in it until we keep meeting each other's expectations. This is basically what a normal relationship is. My expectation from you is to be an obedient slave that I can make use of. And I'm being very open about it. Tell me what is your expectation from me?"

"I... I don't have one..."

"You definitely have one. Just be brave and tell me, it's an honest conversation and I promise there won't be any consequences."

"I only want to see you happy."

"That's so sweet. And a good mentality for a slave. Don't worry, you won't stay as one forever. It's just a phase babe. And I promised to not leave you. Also I'm very happy about our current relationship, you're getting better and better. And in the end you are getting rewarded. So it's not entirely hopeless for you. Life is full of suprises babe, isn't that good enough?"

"Yeah, thanks..."

"Tell me what you've imagined while you were rubbing yourself?"

"I imagined sucking your feet."

"It's so funny!" she laughed. I could easily her in her voice that she was truly enjoying this new low I reached to. "Apparently you are a natural-born slaveboy my sweetie. You didn't even fantasize about having sex with me then? That's another really good sign. I'm proud of you."

"Yeah, when I saw your picture, I couldn't take my eyes off your feet. I think I'm missing your footjob."

"Good to hear that babe. I feel like it's more appropriate for you anyways. Suits better than a blowjob." And she was right.

"So, can we talk about me now, if you allow me sir?" She laughed. I stood silent.

"So, I sucked Dylan for a bit, but it turns me on so much and also I was waiting for too long to finally have a proper sex with him on a real bed. So I climbed on his lap. He grabbed my belly and I slowly let him slide in my pussy."

That. Imagining myself in that position, sliding in Ellie's warm, wet pussy was what keeping me alive, keeping me under her thumb. I was getting turned on again. My cock was already woken up for the third round. But I was a slave. Not a boyfriend. It had to wait its turn. Which might, let's be honest, never come.

[fictionkinfessions]

This is a long one, sorry haha. Really needed to get this off my chest.

Knowing I did terrible things to my wife is, like, kind of eating at me. I have a different timeline where I had to destroy my city-state and its people in it out of absolute necessity (I *still* question if that was the only thing I could do) and that continues to mess with me, but this… is somehow different. Maybe worse, because it was one-to-one, and not tainted with the stress of inevitable war.

What I did probably counted as verbal and emotional abuse. I don't know how it affected her in the long run because I "died". In the… 10 years, I think it was, that we knew each other before I died, I berated her, thought of her as lowly and her family too poor to ever be of the same standing as mine, just… awful shit like that. I had several affairs in those first couple years too, and encouraged her to do the same since we obviously didn't love each other. Our marriage was arranged, and once we figured out each other's routines, I rarely ever saw her at home.

But I got better? I tried "studying" her, finding her and observing the things she liked to do and whom she liked to converse with. When her family invited us both over (mainly for public appearances, to be honest) I watched how they interacted and realized her family was completely different from mine. I thought all families functioned like business partners, that love and affection was transactional and, thus, conditional. I couldn't imagine love could be… what her family was.

And, despite being too proud to apologize, I tried making amends. I introduced more frequent outings, I asked about her schedule, asked about her family. She remained really cold, and I wasn't good at being genuine; a large part of why I was asking wasn't because I loved her, but it was the start to a relationship I wanted to build with her.

She rightfully called me out in the way I behaved towards her. She couldn't see a reason why I would ever love her, since I was obviously too brainwashed in the kind of life and society I had grown up in. And it definitely bruised my ego, but I took time to reflect on that.

I hate that I made her teach me what it meant to love, but I did, and she did, or at least tried to. I visited her home more, sometimes by myself to talk to her parents (and, sometimes, her siblings would tear me several new ones, which I completely deserved.) I'd even try to find more private places to just get away from it all, but with her. I put in the effort as best as I knew how to, and I'll never really know when I finally fell in love with her, but I eventually did. And she did, too. Gods, she loved me too.

That's not to say that I completely changed my beliefs because I didn't. I didn't know how to, and it was a large point of contention between us. Ironically, we argued more when we were genuinely together and in the dating stages than before, a solid 5–7 years into our marriage. We both learned to just not talk about certain things, which obviously isn't healthy, but we made do.

I don't know how to end this. I learned to love my wife, she learned to love me. I "died" when things were getting better between us. My stupidity and bigotry is what got me killed, and I couldn't even recognize her when we met again centuries later. She couldn't either.

Fuck. I regret so much from that life, but more than anything I regret everything I said and did to her those first years together.

#🦇🩸🗡️

x

[the-radio-demon-blog]

Haha. Well. Now, now. I'll have you know I've been told I'm cute when I'm drunk. By a few people. I find *everything* funny and I giggle a lot and apparently it's very endearing?

I haven't been drunk in about 10 years and I can count on one hand how many times I've been drunk. Never been black out or stumbling drunk either. It's not for me. My spelling sure does take a hit though. 🤣  I'm such a lightweight I only had 2 or 3 drinks on Friday night. Then promptly fell asleep shortly after.

I stand by my non-sober statements though. You *are* cute. (I'll never say it again...probably) Not trying to be insulting or condescending...it just...is what it is? I think a lot of 'scary' things are cute. 🤷‍♀️ I think Stanley is adorable too and he could absolutely take my limbs off. I'm not afraid of him bc I know he won't hurt me. And I'm not afraid of you bc I also don't think you'd hurt me. I don't exactly fit your M.O., eh? And you'd gain nothing from it. Don't worry! I'm not going to try to cuddle you or anything. What would you have done if drunk me had tried???? (I wouldn't have)

I have NO idea where the hand kissing thing came from. Sorry if it made you uncomfortable. And no, no one has ever kissed my hand. It's very old fashioned; I don't think people do that anymore? Maybe it's just me who has never been a recipient.

As for my job...I'm not good at very much and pickins are slim around here. Anything I've seen pays SIGNIFICANTLY less. So for now I'll bang on until I find something else...or have a mental breakdown. Whichever comes first. HAH.

Hooray Stanley! I hope he ate well! I bet he's purring all the time at the hotel.

Did you even *try* that vodka? Did you hate it? Lol. Maybe Angel Dust would like it. Please give it to him if you don't want it. Oh! I just remembered, I once tried homemade vodka that some Russian circus acrobats I knew made. Just a sip. The smell alone made my eyes water. It may have burnt a hole in my esophagus. Hah.

Hey! You didn't tell me a joke! *pouts*

So I'll give you a terrible pun. It's been a while.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

I have no eye deer!

🤣🤣🤣

Hmmm...today's picture: a silly photo I took of the old palomino I visit on my walks sometimes. He's called Chazz.

https://ibb.co/q5FT16M

After while, crocodile 🐊

Well, I've seen very few experiences that are good when folks are drunk. I'm happy that it has worked out for you! By all means, I did not mean to offend.

Well, being cute in Hell usually ends very badly for you. And well, I would rather not be called "cute" or "adorable" as you call it. No, I have no interest in hurting you and I rather enjoy our conversations!

If you had tried to cuddle me while you were drunk? Well, I'd attempt to get away from you to ensure you do nothing you'll regret to me. If you somehow pinned me down and cuddled with me, I would simply sit there and wait until you wake. I'm a gentleman after all!

Well, I wish you luck with your job, I suppose.

I tried it. Angel Dust insisted that he take it and I relented without much effort. It wasn't a terrible vodka. Adequate I'd say. Thank you, darling.

Hah! That's quite a lovely joke, dear! Thank you!

I'm not one for animals but my, that horse is quite adorable! Chazz...hmm...what an interesting name!

See you later, my dear alligator!

[faggylittleleatherboy]

I know this interpretation of canon is a bit warped and definitely driven by me trying to see the "best" out of regulus' character, kind of have a soft spot for him, haha. In my head, Regulus completely disassociated from pureblood ideology just before he took the Mark. Like, when you're 12-16 and your parents are staunch supporters of a certain ideal, even thinking outside that box feels detrimental. But at the point where he'd allowed himself an alternative view on things - Sirius had left, his parents had a firmer grip on him. (side note-I see a bit of parallel between the Black brother and people escaping abusive religious institutes, a bit). Anyway, he had to sort of keep up pretenses, when it came to kreacher - he wasn't his master at this point, and kreacher could've easily been retelling whatever Regulus was up to, to his parents. Even Hermione notes that Regulus was "trying to protect them all". I would've loved a proper redemption arc for Regulus, he was such an interesting character but you're left to fill in the blanks to what lead him to change his mind. Which is where fanon goes wild, lol Sorry i left this long ass ask in your inbox i just have so many ideas when it comes to him

Hi! It’s alright i love discussing things

I see your point and I do agree that he was raised and conditioned to follow the pureblood ideology, but so was Sirius. Being raised to do it doesn’t mean his hands were tied, I think people still need to take responsibility for bad things they do even if they were raised like that

I agree that when your parents, the people you’re usually looking up to because they brought you into this world, support a certain ideal and preach it to you during your formative years, you’ll have that in your head. However Sirius also had that, he was raised in the exact same context, but he thought outside the box. 

It’s clear then that a key difference between them is that Sirius follows his own thoughts, he doesn’t take what other people tell him as the ultimate truth and runs with it; Regulus on the other hand probably does, he follows what he’s told blindly, one of the main things about him is that he was a huge coward. 

And at the end, when he finally gathers some courage to do something different, he’s still so scared that he does it in complete secrecy, he doesn't have the balls to admit he was wrong. This is why he doesn’t have a redemption arc, he doesn’t own up to his “mistakes”, and that would be the first step.

And I don’t think what he did at the end was enough to think he started to realize that the pureblood ideology was just fucked up. Its not redemption, its not him regretting things and trying to make them right, it’s more of a suicide mission. I'll explain it by comparing his story to Catra’s story from Shera (they are a bit different in some ways but very similar in others).

In Catra’s story, we see her being raised in an abusive environment run by fascists (The Horde = The Black Family) and for most of her life she has Adora. Adora is the person who stands between Catra and the abuser; as long as Adora is there, Catra will not get hurt (so Catra associates Adora with safety, that's important). 

But one day Adora leaves (in a similar way Sirius does, she needs to get out of that place), and Catra perceives this as the ultimate betrayal, as abandonment. This event is the catalyst for Catra to start doing bullshit (it was never Adora’s fault for leaving, but she was the only close relationship Catra had and honestly this is how I view the Black brothers, Regulus had only Sirius and Sirius had only Regulus for 11 years). Catra doesn’t get close to anyone, she pushes people away all the time, she believes in the same things the abusers conditioned her to believe because she never thinks for herself, she fights for it without being forced to do so. 

In this comparison, Regulus would perceive Sirius leaving when they were 10 and 11, respectively, when Sirius gets sorted into Gryffindor and makes new friends (what a betrayal!). They got a bit distant then already. And in this case, Regulus starts going more and more into his parents beliefs (also because it was his early teenage years, he was not exactly a child anymore, so he was making decisions about who he is, and this was one of them). And then 5 years later Sirius runs away, and that’s around the same time Regulus takes the dark mark. This Regulus is the same Regulus described as having an adoration for Voldemort, the same Regulus described as being “a much better son” by his parents (so he was doing things his blood supremacist parents would be proud of). At this point, he wasn’t a baby being forced to do things, he was doing them willingly.

Now back to Catra, at this point in her story, she tries to help Adora do the right thing for half a second, during her last moments, she knows this will cause her death, but that’s kinda what she wants, she doesn’t have anything to live for anyways; and so she dies, or almost dies. And after that we see her actually starting to change, to own up to her bullshit and to slowly try and make up for the things she did and the people she hurt; she struggles, she goes back to her old bullshit sometimes, she apologizes, she makes an effort for a long time, and only then she gets her redemption. 

Regulus' story ends before any of this could maybe happen tho. He dies when he doesn’t have anything to live for anyways and he doesn’t even try to make it right for real, because he could've told someone in the order, he had a million ways of sending a hidden message or something. But he doesn't, and I think he doesn’t because his main reason to do what he did was a death wish, I dont think it’s as selfless as people say it is.

And I understand what you mean by Kreacher could be retelling whatever Regulus was up to to his parents, but I don't think that was the case, and I don't think Regulus thought that was the case. Because then, why would Regulus ask for his help with finding the Horcrux? He found out about Voldemort’s only weakness, if he thought Kreacher would tell on him, he would’ve done everything alone. And about Hermione, i don't think her opinion on Regulus means much, she didn’t know him at all, she wasn't there, it’s not like with Sirius or Kreacher. 

Honestly, I think Regulus’s biggest problem was that he was a coward and didn’t use critical thinking 99% of the time. He repeated the pureblood ideology blindly, much like a parrot. He fought for that. He told people slurs and didn’t think twice about it, not because he was being forced to do it, he chose to do it, and he chose it because thinking critically wasn't his forte. 

And I totally get wanting to see the best in someone, but seeing the best in someone and making up positive traits for them while ignoring the negative ones are not the same thing imo - this is why the way people talk about Regulus rn makes me ???

Anyways, what do u think anon? (Also I recommend you watch Shera hehe it’s so good)

[ofdarklands]

well i have to say hearing gaius' speech in german does have some... extra accuracy flavour. what can i say

trivia:

gaius' first speech at cid seems to be shorter, as i had to wait a bit for the rest

maggie scene seems to be the same

nero's speech also seems to be the same length, but the cid convo after nero escapes seems to be longer, and the rest of the group triggered the next one before i could get to the lift

gaius' speech is at least 10? 15? seconds shorter, so i ended up here, which was interesting. had to take the shortcut

dungeon google translation under the cut. long, long!

Gaius van Baelsar: You've kept me waiting a long time, Cid. Gaius van Baelsar: I have something to tell you. About Mid nan Garlond... Cid: Ha. Why do I care about my father now? Gaius van Baelsar: Mid showed remorse in his final years... that his Project Meteor had brought you into such distress. Cid: Don't tell me about regrets! He managed the project until the end! Gaius van Baelsar: By then it was already too late to turn away. Meteor took him over, he couldn't escape. Gaius van Baelsar: When I saw him for the very last time, he told me how sorry he was - because of his son. Gaius van Baelsar: You wanted to use Magitek technology to bring peace to the world - that message certainly got through to him. Cid: Did you stage all of this to tell me maudlin stories? Stop it, Gaius! Who is supposed to believe that! Gaius van Baelsar: Cid, Cid. I'm just telling you how it is. Don't you want to come back where you belong? Take your rightful place at my side... as Magitek's lead engineer! Cid: So Gaius, make a point. My father supposedly changed his mind in the end? And should I follow in his footsteps? Where is the logic in that? Gaius van Baelsar: What about you, adventurer? Don't you want to use your powers under my leadership, under Garlean protection - for Eorzea? Gaius van Baelsar: With your special gift you can lead this world into a bright future. Gaius van Baelsar: Ah, you hopeless idealists. It's a wasted effort. Gaius van Baelsar: Yes, well captured. Defend yourself if you can. Or, Cid, do you want to run away a second time? Cid: Gaius! Wait! Damn, then we have no choice... Cid: Well then. I'll take a look at the equipment here and see if I can find out more about this garrison. Just keep pushing forward and wait for my report. Cid: Look! Aren't these the same fighting machines as the ones we used to save Minfilia in Castrum Centri? Cid: They've come just in time! I suggest you grab one and give the enemy some fire. Cid: Hey, Mitr'a, it's me. I dug up some data on the wall - it's made of reinforced cermet. Cid: You can't do anything with normal firepower, you have to redirect all the energy to the magitek cannon - everything, you know? Set to critical performance! You ignore the warning lights! Cid: And then fire away. This will completely burn the machine core, but the wall is through. Cid: Are you okay? You have to switch to... table power...! ...don't worry, ...it's okay!

Cid: Yes! Haha! I don't see any walls on the display anymore! Now you have to continue on foot. Nero tol Scaeva: Ha ha. You're causing quite a ruckus here, boy. Cid: What's going on? Is someone with you?! Nero tol Scaeva: Aah, Cid! How heartwarming to hear your voice - after so long. Haha! Cid: Nero?! How come ... Nero tol Scaeva: We were so daring to tune into your radio. Well, Garlond, how are you always? Cid: So they made you the highest tribune of the XIV Legion... Tribunus Laticlavius Nero Tol Scaeva! Nero tol Scaeva: What is it, Garlond, do you still want to push yourself in front of me now? Cid: What are you talking about? Nero tol Scaeva: Ah, as if you didn't remember! The Magitek Academy? All the honor and praise for the little genius Cid Garlond? Nero tol Scaeva: Don't act stupid! All this time I have been in your shadow because your father was the chief Magitek engineer, the highest ranking engineer in the Empire... Nero tol Scaeva: Then you decided to turn your back on your homeland and defect to the enemy! Do you know what that meant? Nero tol Scaeva: That's exactly what made you a super-genius in people's minds! Your disappearance made you a legend. A traitor, yes - but one of unrivaled ability. Nero tol Scaeva: I, on the other hand, was here, tangible and criticizable. What I screwed up, the gifted Cid Garlond would of course have done with flying colors. If I developed something, it was never as good as you probably would have designed it. Cid: Nero... Nero tol Scaeva: And from the beginning Gaius wanted to make you the chief engineer, blind to all my efforts and achievements. Nero tol Scaeva: Sad story, right? Nero tol Scaeva: But only this far... Because now Gaius has activated the Ultima weapon. My masterpiece. Nero tol Scaeva: But it will still take a little moment until you can admire it in perfection... So how about a little intermission in the meantime - to shorten the waiting time? Cid: What are you up to? Nero tol Scaeva: I have watched you, adventurer, since you set foot on Eorzean soil. Nero tol Scaeva: Your taking on the idols of the Wild Tribes - not bad for a wandering vagabond. And your gift of transcending makes you invulnerable to their influence. Nero tol Scaeva: No wonder the Legatus is following you with the utmost attention! Nero tol Scaeva: And I'm just as interested in your practical ability. If I could make them usable for the Magitek...! Nero tol Scaeva: That would put all your inventions to shame, Cid. All your developments would look like childish stuff - in front of an ultimate weapon with the artificial power of transcending! Nero tol Scaeva: Alright, adventurer. Now let's test out your little secret thoroughly.

(in battle) Nero tol Scaeva: I have prepared an incomparable stage for you. I hope you appreciate this honor! Nero tol Scaeva: Well, hasn't Cid made you a usable weapon yet? Just take a good look at mine! Nero tol Scaeva: My deathclaw. How do you like her? Nero tol Scaeva: Hnn... Should I... even succumb to you!? Nero tol Scaeva: Cursed...! You should... succumb! Nero tol Scaeva: ... Har har har! Are you listening, Cid? Do you hear the? The Ultima Weapon is in its final phase! She is complete! My work! Ahahahahaha! Cid: Hey, Mitr'a! Everything OK with you? Cid: Where is Nero? Away?! Damn it! Cid: The sensors indicate an extreme increase in temperature in the inner chamber. They probably diverted all of the castrum's energy to the Ultima weapon - that's why the lights just went out! Cid: I bet Gaius is in there too. Now let's get going, every second counts. Cid: News came from the Alliance just now. Kan-E-Senna has managed to seal off the railway line to the castrum. Cid: The state companies are on their way here. Now there are only a few Yalms separating us from the target... Let's destroy the Ultima weapon. Cid: The reception is about to get worse, be prepared for the contact bead to fail. Cid: But don't let anything stop you, okay? Now it's all about it. Cid: Look... for the controls for the elevator... It has to be there somewhere. Cid: The chamber for the Ultima weapon should be at the bottom... Cid: Gaius can be anywhere, so keep your eyes peeled! Cid: Be careful, you hear? Don't be surprised! Cid: The interference is getting stronger, contact could break at any moment...

Gaius van Baelsar: Well, adventurer…tell me…what are you fighting so hard for? Gaius van Baelsar: Hmm! How extremely noble! But do you also believe in Eorzea? Gaius van Baelsar: This façade of unity, the cities built on illusions, the lulling belief in “gods”… Gaius van Baelsar: Eorzea is a mess of lies and delusion. Gaius van Baelsar: It is undignified how you “civilized people” cringe before the idols of the savages… They help their people - whereas your gods hardly bother to do so. Gaius van Baelsar: Are your twelve busy? Are they hiding from me? If you adore them like that, then call them, like you did back then on the heath of Carteneau! Or are you hesitating because they would succumb to me?! Gaius van Baelsar: And don't forget their toll - the vast amounts of aether they charge the Earth for each guest appearance! Gaius van Baelsar: Don't you see? What are your gods but parasites? Just like the primals who drain the air from the land… Gaius van Baelsar: You suspect it yourself, and yet you close your eyes! Why do stupid people still pay homage to them? Why was the great Louisoix too blind to see it? Gaius van Baelsar: Because your leaders are weak, spineless and without the will to power! Gaius van Baelsar: The world was made for us worldly people, we are its raison d'être! Gaius van Baelsar: She is ours, for we fought for her while the gods slept! Gaius van Baelsar: And what is more natural than the strongest ruling over the weak?! Gaius van Baelsar: The earth is bleeding dry because no one prevents it from being bled. Gaius van Baelsar: But I will re-establish the order of this world! I wash away the lies of this world, I am its salvation! Gaius van Baelsar: And I will crush the “heroes” like you so that all the world will know my strength! Gaius van Baelsar: Then this empire… will rise again as my empire! (in battle) Gaius van Baelsar: A “hero”? What pathetic praise for a worm that stayed alive by chance. Gaius van Baelsar: Only fools face me in battle! Gaius van Baelsar: Not bad for a brainless weakling. But don't get excited too soon. Gaius van Baelsar: Can you finish what you started? Gaius van Baelsar: If you are not willing to bow to me, this blade will be your downfall! Gaius van Baelsar: The era of the weak is over! Gaius van Baelsar: Do you think you can achieve victory with perseverance? A fatal mistake!

i forgot i had my cutscenes on autoskip so i didn't get his final words before he runs to the ultima weapon, sadly

[ambivartence]

✨ content creator year in review ✨

tagged by @alrightyaphroditie ilysm kass <3333333333

1. first creation / most recent creation my first was a hyunjin three-drawing set from the sbs gayo daejeon mirotic cover stage and my last was the bang chan three-drawing set for the stayblr secret santa event which coincidentally were the only three-drawing photosets i've ever done...essentially exactly one year apart

2. one of your favorite creations this black&white painting of dk is literally one of my best ever... as for gifs it's a dead tie between the dreamies hello future and off tbz jacob bc they're both such soft gifsets :')

3. a creation you're really proud of my drawing of jeno from the dream concert + beatbox era hair hehe and for gifs it would be my xiaojun sets (1 & 2) from lee mujin service which i posted some of the coloring for here

4. a creation that took you forever this lonely st han animation i did for ale's bday took a while to draw all the frames (but sooooo worth it ofc 💖🌷) ...and i also tend to put a lot of effort into my 1-gif posts like this the boyz gif (mostly spent cutting colors to get the file size down while keeping so many frames) and this mingyu gif (literally spliced ✂️ images from a screenshot of his photo gallery and turned them into animation frames) and this jeno gif (manually blurred the bg of each frame to fake looking HD bc i didnt have the ts file 😭) and this dojaewoo gif (erased the caption from each frame but if u look closely above their heads u will see the books are shimmering like a mirage bc they ARE a mirage LOL)

5. the creation that received the most notes my lee know as kiki's delivery service fanart & my nyfw jeno for peter do gifset

6. a creation you think deserves more notes ik i draw & gif idols from groups with varying fandom sizes here on kpopblr so i know how to set my expectations haha so instead i'm going to shout out to the creation that definitely has TOO many notes which is this blursed skz maniac hyung line set LOL i see yall skzblr... and i see ALL yalls tags....... 👀

7. a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it i started stanning so many new groups in 2022!!!! the boyz and ab6ix and p1harmony and golden child and ateez and monsta x !!!

8. a creation you made that breaks your heart all my monsta x gifsets i made in may before i became a monbebe and i still remember standing 3 feet from minhyuk actively regretting that i was not a bigger fan of them at the time... only took me like 7 more months.......truly heartbreaking

9. a "simple" creation that you really love my cherry-era donghyun drawing! <;3 and this giant single gif of minhyuk from my footage which is also my lockscreen

10. a creation that was inspired by another one i get into phases of trying specific styles/layouts for my art like my music player series (started with changbin)

11. a favorite creation created by someone else my favorite tag in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12. favorite content creators for the year literally anyone i've reblogged from this year but extra shoutout to all the artists from my *siyuantag and *art tags and everyone tagged below

tagging (totally optional sorry if u've been tagged before lol ik we're already so deep into 2023): @agibbangs @aunty-tiger-potato @avizou @brianbangs @chanstopher @chrstphrbng @coupsnim @dalkyeom @jeongtokkie @junjunies @kdongyoung @kyubinz @nevoono @njaems @potatzu @pvddins-art @quokki @rumue @shnryjn @shorelinnes @sulfurcosmos @wabisaba @wonjinist @wonwooridul @xuseokgyu + anyone who sees this and wants to share their fave creations from 2022^^

[inwintersolitude]

- October 24th 2023 -

Do a lot of people tell you that you are funny? A few people do. The closer I am with someone, the more they'll see my funny/goofy side.

Have you gone to a tanning bed lately? Nope, I've never been in a tanning bed, ever.

What did you do on the Fourth of July? I didn't do anything to celebrate it. I think my husband was gone flying that day, and I just relaxed at home. I did happen to see the town's fireworks display on my way home from the store that evening, though.

Do you ever watch Hannah Montana? No, I've never watched it.

Do you think Miley Cyrus is a good role model? I have no idea. I don't know much about her.

Do you have nice legs? Sure.

Are you good at decorating? I'm alright at it. It's one of the few artsy/creative things I'm not terrible at, haha.

Have you ever been to Ohio? I live in Ohio, actually. Lived here from 1993-2013, and again from 2021-present.

Do you like southern accents? It depends on the exact type of Southern accent. Most of them are meh, but I do like the ''classy Southern Belle'' type of accent. Can't think of a better way to describe it LOL.

Do you watch Big Brother? No.

How old is the oldest person who has ever liked you? My husband is 36. But he was 22 when we started dating.

Do you get intimidated easily? Not really.

Do you get a shower every day? No, sometimes I skip a day.

Do you like mountain biking? I used to when I was younger. I'm much more wary of sports/activities with a high risk of injury nowadays. I had a really bad wrist injury from slipping on ice when I was 26, it took forever to heal and it affected my mental health. When I was younger, I brushed off injuries like they were nothing, but ever since that wrist injury, I just don't mentally deal with injuries well at all.

What is something you like to do for fun? Nature photography and drone photography.

Do you remember a lot of things from whenever you were a child? Yep, I can recall the vast majority of my childhood.

What was something good that happened to you this week? My husband and I went over to my parent's house for dinner this past Friday, along with my brother and sister-in-law and their kids. We all had a really great time.

Have you ever been to Ireland? Yes, I was just in Ireland a few weeks ago!

Do you have a lot of shoes? Maybe like 10 pairs.

Would you rather go out to eat or make dinner yourself? It depends on what sort of food I'm in the mood for, and whether or not I feel like cooking.

Do you like The Goonies? I've never watched it.

Would you ever consider being a photographer? I'm an amateur photographer. I've been into photography off-and-on for almost 20 years.

What is something that you aren't good at? I'm awful at any sort of creative writing.

What is something you really regret? Not leaving my former job when I first started to think of leaving. I stayed, pushed myself only to end up even more stressed out, and then a coworker caused an accident that gave me permanent hearing damage.

Do you think you have a lot of friends? No, I don't have many friends at all. But I like it this way. I'm not a very social person.

Do you like to answer questions in detail? Usually.

Who are the texts in your inbox from? My husband, my brother, my sister-in-law, my mom, my dad, my friend Cory, and my realtor.

What is something you wear everyday? My glasses.

What clothing store do you really like? Ralph Lauren and L.L. Bean are my two favorites.

Do you have a lot of chores? Well yeah, I'm an adult with my own household.

[purplesurveys]

1909

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN…

you had your first crush? It was very unserious but I first had feelings of 'crush'ness when I was 11. Grade 5. Then she moved to New Zealand a year after we became friends and never really ever got in touch again after.

you had your first kiss? 16, I think.

you had your first boyfriend or girlfriend? I was 16.

you made your first best friend? I met Angela when we were 7; we sat beside each other in our Grade 1 class. Our favorite story to tell is how we started talking to each other only because I accidentally stabbed her palm with a pencil.

you had your first break-up with a significant other? We broke up when I was 17; within the same month of my grandpa passing and taking the entrance exam for the one university I wanted to pass. Keep it classy...we got back together when I was two months away from turning 18, then broke up again when I was 22.

you started your period (if you’re a girl)? I was an early bird and got my first just weeks after I turned 10.

you got engaged? I've never gotten engaged.

you got married? I've never been married.

you lost your virginity? 18.

you had your first child? No kids.

you first moved out of your house? I haven't done that yet. Ever try being Filipino with Filipino wages living in Filipino costs of living? Moving out will never happen to just anyone here, hahaha.

you graduated high school? I was 17 going on 18.

you started college? 18.

you moved out of your house permanently? See moving out question.

you first cut yourself? I think I may have been around 18. Sad to think about it now. I tend to occasionally stroke my left wrist softly these days because of it...idk, just as a way to remind myself "you turned out okay" I guess.

you first thought about suicide? 10 or 11.

you learned your first swear word? I was 5, hah. My dad was into shooting/crime video games and I still remember one of the cutscenes having the word 'fuck' in it. But because he played the mission repeatedly, I ended up memorizing the entire cutscene and one instance I forgot to shut myself up by the time the 'fuck' line was said. So I said it unconsciously, to his horror.

you started swearing? I was 11. Basically the time I started using the internet.

you had your first date? 16.

you had your first sleepover? 14 or 15, I can hardly remember.

you were first baptized? I was a month and a half old.

you were baptized and it meant something? I've never...experienced that before? Haha.

you made you first huge regret? When I was 11 and experienced getting my back stabbed by a friend for the first time. Then I stupidly took her back in only for her to do the same thing months later, after which I cut her off.

you felt mature? I have two main answers to this because maturity can mean many different things at many different points. The first was when I entered college, so I was 18 – it was my first time in a public school and it was really my first time dealing with life with nobody looking out after you. We were coddled so much in my first school that it gave me both culture shock and a massive weight of freedom.

Second time, I was 22. My first job offer and my breakup happened days apart from each other, so I was rushing to fix all my government documents (it was like 10 total and I had none of them, and I had two days to acquire all of them) while crying and hyperventilating in the fucking car literally the entire time I was driving. I'd usually have that ex go with me to every milestone, so having to be alone for the very first time in six years – and for adulting errands no less – felt very jarring. The silence in the car, not having anyone to share my experiences with, and having to figure out all the overwhelming government processes myself...I know it might seem small to others but considering how introverted I was years ago, it was such a heavy, heavy thing to carry. But also a slap in the face reminder that I needed to start being more mature from that moment on.

you first were in love with someone? 16.

you first experienced love at first sight? Never experienced that.

you first encountered God? 17 was the first and last.

you started going to church? I think my mom started bringing me from the time I was 8 or 9. It's been every Sunday ever since.

you got drunk for the first time? I can't actually remember. Maybe 18? 19 if not that.

you first tried drugs? 24, if I remember correctly. First and last time, too.

you started to think about your appearance? 18.

you first joined Facebook? It was around 2012 so I would have been 14 at the time.

you got a cell phone? 7. I shouldn't have been given one, I know; but everyone my age in school had one so I felt peer pressured. Gross. My parents ultimately gave in and gave me one during my 7th birthday party.

you got your own laptop? 17. The one I had before that was a hand-me-down from my dad.

you got your own digital camera? I never owned a digicam, but my dad got me a DSLR when I was 12 and said I wanted to start dabbling in photography.

you got your own car? I've never bought my own car, but my dad got me one before I started college so 17.

you got your driver’s license? 18. I had to learn before starting college because we didn't have a driver and I wasn't willing to commute or learn how to commute.

you first got pregnant? Never got pregnant.

you felt alive for the first time? 23.

[querenciaofmelancholy]

Hi alot happened for one day that was 23rd January 2024

I came out to my crush. How did it go? well. mhm. a lot of thoughts and opinions on that

While it took off a burden from me, the thing is, i did want her uk. And talking to my sister about this has made me feel too childish but i think i did want to be in my childish era.

So the question is, am I a bisexual? Not something I will figure out right now, and not something I want to figure out right now. Do i regret sending the email? No. it made me grow up. And i am lucky enough that i sent it to a person who understands. I plan on putting this exploring thing on hold for now, and tell all the 10 people i did disclose this to, that i am not bisexual. What happened with j was something i have to figure out, but it certainly wasn't physical. While this might seem like lying to myself about this, I really really believe i was not attracted to her in a physical sense. And moreover, even if i was, she isn't. so that's something haha. Such a dry haha. anyways, see, i need to erase all that's been done and start with a new slate. The people who know about this, would get to hear that yes i am not bisexual and the people who don't would get to know that the mission of crush was called off.

as for her, i feel like i fucked up a lot there. I do minor regret sending the email since it was impulsive, but i need to clean the shit up. i have to make it clear i didn't like like her. or at least i think i didn't? idk bro i just feel like i made her this main character whom everybody falls in love with and seriously, i hate someone else to be that person. that's the main reason why this is all so very fucked up to me. god complex dediya bandi ko. eaw.

2. i got selected for bvc cabinet. while all this has been going on, i didn't get to rejoice this part. i was instead focusing on the fact i wasn't called in for interview for head girl/vice head girl. but then again, i might be getting a goddamn sponsorship award from the school. its all so very much happening. i got first prize in a psychoanalysis competition with 8000 rupees and got selected to go to it kanpur for a competition not to mention the rising star medal from bhumi??????/ so much accomplishment just in the start of the year?

also 83% in exams is a fucking bummer. i am beginning to realise that everyone is a main character of their life. i am not supposed to be the sole person whom everybody dies for, its just fantasy. here on earth every life holds as much value as mine. it truly does. i don't digest this fact well right now, but i will work on it and one day will.

okay bye have to prepare for legal tomorrow

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Wednesday, December 27th, 2023

Why have the past few days been so hard I don't even understand. It's like I know all of the tools to help myself and heal, but like sleeping for example. I know I need to get enough sleep but I keep waking up extremely upset and it's ruining my mornings. I know I need to eat better but I barely have an appetite. I'm on my period and I absolutely fucking hate it. I think I may have some period-related distress disorder or something because this just can't be normal. I wish there was something I could take like an aspirin but instead of pain it would alleviate ridiculous mood swings. My period makes me feel so out of control of my body and so uncomfortable. I'm glad I have found a way to skip it for the most part, but then when I do have one it's 20x worse!!?? So either have it a quarter of the year being a nuisance or 4x a year but terrible?? Idk fml. I feel like a fucking teenager again which is 100% not my fucking speed. I am grown I want to act grown in so tired of bs people and bs situations and bs "how things should go" when it comes to social situations. I don't know how to fucking date anymore and I feel like so FUCKED UP from this past relationship. I'm so used to wringing myself dry, squeezing every drop of myself into someone just to get completely fucked over and forgotten about. I can't do that shit again. But if it's not 100%, what the fuck is it?? 10% 20% 50%? I can't imagine giving 50% of myself to someone I don't fucking know. Maybe like 5% haha. That's expendable, but is that enough to garner anything serious?? Or just a bunch of bs????? Help me please anyone 🙃

7:41am seriously coming to terms with how fucked up my last relationship was. And coming to terms with the fact that it has fucked me uP. I do need therapy tbh that would be an investment for me this year. Idc if it's through the school or not their wait-list is so stupid and long.

I want to be around more women this year, men are just making me lose my fucking mind.

7:21pm just got off of another last minute shift! I called him earlier until he finally picked up bc I can't understand his weird ass games. And weird ass games is 100% correct. He said he "silently cried" in public at his gfs parents house last night bc they kept playing songs that remind him of me.... Bro wtf... I literally don't know what to say to that shit. Then I confronted him about why he took me off everything so abruptly and he basically said that everyone else told him to. He just does whatever everyone else tells him to do, he's such a loser. Then he said that anytime his phone goes off, calls or texts, he gets anxious bc he thinks it's me calling him?? Apparently I make him so anxious now... bc he was the dumb one to get such a paranoid gf a week after we broke up, apparently I'm still the cause of numerous fights between them... Literally tho this is 100% NOT MY FAULT. YOU CANNOT BLAME ME FOR YOUR SHITTY BEHAVIOR. YOU CERTAINLY CANNOT BLAME ME FOR WANTING YOU AFTER YOU TELLING ME REPEATEDLY THAT YOU WANTED ME AND THAT YOU REGRETTED EVERYTHING. HE'S LITERALLY A FUCKING CRAZY NARCISSIST PUSSY BITCH.

I'm fully convinced that he's a narcissist now bc goddamn ALWAYS HE IS THE VICTIM!!!!! This shit is unbelievable!!!!! I don't ever see us getting back together bc like I said previously, the respect is GONE. On top of being an asshole, he literally has no fucking balls and just takes his fragile ego out on anyone he thinks he can treat like shit/ less than him. Goddamn I feel bad for that girl but on the other hand, she gets what she deserves !!! She can have your crazy ass I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this shit anymore!!!! It's like he's reverting backwards too, really acting like a brat ass teenager again, love triangles and generally NOT BEING A MAN AT ALL. Literally he acts like a child with no emotional regulation and it's sad af honestly. It's really just sad. That's why I cry. Not because I miss him, but bc I feel bad that he really is such a fuckup and I thought I could help him. I cry for my own grieving, overly kind heart that I gave to someone so fucking helpless. Beyond help at this point bc there's so many fucking people ENABLING HIS BEHAVIOR. I am literally outnumbered by stupid fucking idiots who think this shit is acceptable. I simply cannot. Good luck bro.