#I refuse to let this have no notes

[leminaus]

red and vee :)

[rodatirhaalo]

I think my favorite little parallel between Ascended vs Spawn Astarion has to be this little, probably even unintentional, detail in the epilogue:

Mr Vampire Ascendant, when confronted about freedom, asking the pc if they'd prefer sleeping in the dirt over "living" in his prescribed decadence.

Meanwhile, if left as a spawn Astarion is like

*Passes several chairs, rugs, a pile of pillows, and two log benches to plant his pretty little ass in the dirt*

"THIS DIRT'S THE BEST! I LOVE DIRT!!"

[ineffectualbookseller]

The way Azirphale is underestimated and practically infantalized by heaven is so closely tied to his femininity and I think we should talk about it more because I just want to shout about how relatable the way he's treated in his workplace is as a woman working in a traditionally male field

It's in all the little niggling comments from your boss about personal things that hold no bearing on your work

and the assumption that what you're doing must be simple if it was assigned to you

your work is trivialized

and you get these the placating smiles when you're told plans and proposals are rejected and passed over

or when your complaints are dismissed

and you get more of the same from upper management

it all feels so frustrating and draining but you're at work so all you can do is take a breathe put on that mask and move on with your day

It is all so deteimental to your emotional well being and textually, so much of this is tied to Aziraphale's softness, his gayness - his femininity

The thing about working in an environment and gives you this feeling - of being simultaneously destrought watching your belief in yourself get chipped away but also just so irate becuase you know you don't deserve it - is how it builds. It sinks under your skin and feeds into this indignant dejection until you can have a moment of release - but Azirphale doesn't get to bitch about it over drinks with friends, he doesn't get a lunch break where he can go for a walk and listen to an angry scandi death metal playlist, he doesn't even get the chance to cry about it in the bathroom for 5 minutes before confronting it again

(And I talked a little bit about it in the tags of this beautiful photoset but this all comes into play whenever Crowley dismisses his plans or calls him an idiot. These are purely emotional reactions; I really don't think Crowley means much by it - he respects Aziraphale's opinion and genuinely thinks he's brilliant - but Crowley is so quick to use this terminology when Aziraphale is making a decision Crowley thinks is wrong and he doesn't know how much this hurts Aziraphale. Just like Aziraphale doesn't understand the true impact the Fall had on Crowley, Crowley doesn't understand the ways heaven has been tearing away at Aziraphale's self worth)

Aziraphale has been facing this constant drip of denigration since before the beginning of time and has never released the pressure valve. At this point, he's a bomb waiting to go off

[foodtruckery]

(Abo anon again) (if I'm getting annoying just lmk I'll stop lmfao) I know weve established ford is an obsessed little maniac over stanley but I'm curious what about STAN? Is he fantasizing about his brother in the same way ford was? WAS he thinking about ford when he first presented and hating himself for it? While ford is in the basement fantasizing about dominating stan, stan is upstairs doing the same thing. Wondering how ford would react if his omega brother put him in his place?

Or is this something thats never really crossed stans mind? Is stan just so desperate for his brothers affection and attention after all these years that yknow what? If THIS is how ford needs to love him hell go with it. Stans morals are skewed to all hell and living through an apocalypse, getting your mind wiped kind of puts things like "incest is morally bad" on the backburner. sure he can fuck ford sometimes it really doesnt matter to him how he shows his love

I don't even know what I'm saying anymore I'm just rambling at this point lmfao

you're not annoying at all, anon, i love these!! but yes yes i am following your vision. i was born to understand you. it was killing me that i had to be productive yesterday and didn't have time to sit down with this! that's probably why i, yet again, got WELL AWAY FROM MYSELF and have put a cut below to save your dashboards. as a warning, this is longer than the ford answer.

cause gosh it's SUCH a good question. i think stan has Complicated Feelings about all of it. and i also think that while ford tells himself he's separate from the secondary gender expectations and bullshit, stan is the one who actually IS. or he's at least a lot more self aware of it all. ford packed up all his internalizations and took them into the multiverse and never really had to address any of it whereas stan has run the gamut on primary AND secondary identities and has a much better grasp on and them and himself in the grand scheme of things (no pun intended) because of it.

i think when stan finally presented, that was the first time his more-than-brotherly-love feelings for ford were put front and center in his head. like it may have been something he was vaguely aware of, but he'd never given it much attention (becaue if you ignore it it'll go away right?). but then going into heat for the first time??

yeah, by then he and ford are pretty newly separated from each other, and a lot of the hurt is still really fresh, BUT. ford is also one of the only alphas stan has ANY positive associations with at this point in his life, putting their last interactions aside. and he definitely tells himself that's the only reason why he spends most of his heat thinking about him. that's biology right?? going into heat and obsessing over alpha dick or whatever.

but then, for better or worse, stan doesn't really have a lot of time to dwell on all that anyway. cause he definitely spent at least some time on his own as a beta first, started getting a rough idea of what it meant, how to make it work, what was dangerous. but after presenting??? turns out there's a pretty noticeable difference between making due as a homeless beta teenager vs a homeless omega teenager that starts making itself known REAL FAST.

so stan has to figure some shit out, fast, and daydreaming about any coulda woulda shouldas -- if he'd presented earlier, or hadn't fucked up so bad, or had been given a real shot at defending himself? well that kinda shit just hurts more than it helps, so he doesn't think about it and instead focuses on taking care of himself. cause nobody else is gonna do it, and he learns the hard way not to trust anyone who claims they will.

in the ensuing years, while stan is shilling snakeoil products and jumping state lines, most of that is still from conning folks. but he definitely skipped town more than once for being caught out as an omega when he runs into trouble getting a hold of the right meds. and sure, he has good reason to do it after the shit he's dealt with and done, the threat that comes with being a vulnerable person already and adding that degree of additional vulnerability on top of it.

but i do also like to think that at least once, the omega thing drives him out of town for a different reason. like maybe reconnecting with carla mccorkle or meeting and starting something that might actually be nice with jimmy snakes. point is, stan does find a little bit of honest to god comfort with another person who isn't paying him to there or threatening to break his kneecaps. and he definitely never considers the words "settling down" but he maybe isn't planning how he's gonna get outta dodge yet, so that's something, right?

but then he either lapses in his meds or they get found, and sure, maybe there's a fight that follows or something that leads to him leaving. but i think it's more likely that stan doesn't stick around to face the music at all. he finds out that they found out, and they're either gonna kick him out or they're gonna start expecting shit from him, right? so he gets ahead of it and makes himself scarce. it's a lot easier to disappoint people at this point than to keep letting himself be disappointed.

he probably does a decent job of holding on to that mentality for a long time, too. especially after settling into gravity falls and getting enough stability in his life that even when there are mishaps, he's really fucking good at managing them. bad reaction to a batch of suppressants and kicked into an unexpected heat? he can shut down the shack for a few days and play sick -- something mundane but contagious to his employees and something fantastical to drive sales to the schmucks paying his bills for when he gets back. and if the idea of closing up shop completely raises too many eyebrows? he can claim he's going out of town for a few days and just lock himself up in the industrial basement nobody knows about and ride things out.

(he only lets that happen once. cause it turns out that being out of your skull on fuck-me hormones in the room where you last saw, fought, and banished your brother into a sci-fi monstrosity does some really weird shit to the who and what you're fantasizing about. also, getting slick all over the fucking journal you need to get said brother back runs too close of a risk to ruining the thing in the worst way possible, so never again.)

and it's so damn easy to play the part of alpha that nobody thinks twice to question him anyway. yeah, the town knows he's a fraud in a lot of ways, but that's part of the whole mr. mystery thing. and let's be honest, his shack is one of the only things that actually drums up tourism in the area, and those tourists have to eat somewhere, have to sleep somewhere. so okay, stan pines is a fraud, but he's kinda gravity fall's fraud, an important part of their weird little economic ecosystem. so all that loud, cocksure, 'i will steal this right in front of you and come back tomorrow like i didn't,' attitude -- that has alpha written all over it to the townspeople anyway.

course, then ford does get back - he brings ford back - and stan gets to be reminded all over again about the whole 'people will disappoint you' thing. but i think he's pushed so much of that childhood fantasy and heat in the basement fantasy nonesense down and has gone so long without actually giving a shit about having to "prove" the alpha role, that he probably isn't thinking about any of it the same way ford is. i imagine that despite the way he acts, stan is actually pretty careful about who he fucks since taking over ford's identity, just in case. the less opportunity he has to slip up or get found out, the better after all. so while ford is hate fucking his fist, stan is trying to figure out how easily he can move and maintain his connections and trying not to spiral over any of that.

after everything is over, stan probably does consider keeping up appearances. but the logistics of it are too damn complicated, and at the end of the day, who gives a shit now? he's not living out of his car, trying to make himself as unappealing of a future victim as possible anymore. he isn't impersonating a known alpha and making sure no prejudiced hack thinks to look twice at the "successful small business owner" thing anymore. hell! he doubts he can even go into heat at this age anymore, so other than a little scent change, the only real difference is that he won't have to worry about juggling and sourcing the meds anymore.

yeah, he should probably have said something to ford about it, but it wasn't supposed to be a big deal. it was supposed to be something ford brings up after all the meds have cycled out of his system and all his clothes have been through enough washes to stop masking what's different. just a casual hey, stan smells different maybe, what's that all about? and oh yeah, i wasn't actually an alpha, how funny is that? end of story.

the going into heat thing was not supposed to happen. and it hasn't happened for so long that he doesn't even realize it is happening until it's way too late to do anything about it. at this point, stan isn't even entirely sure how long it's been since he actually fucked anybody, and almost never while in heat. so it's...a lot, to say the least.

not just the being bombarded with omega bullshit after suppressing it so hard for so long, either. that in and of itself is overwhelming. like, jesus, had it always been this fucking wet? and holy moses, has ford always smelled like that? and oh right the deeply suppressed ford thing.

they definitely don't have time to talk any of this out before it happens. but it's supposed to go by faster with a partner, right? they're trapped on a tiny boat in the middle of the ocean - stan really can't afford to be out of commission that long. and ford at least doesn't seem like he'd rather take his chances finding shore with a lifesaver when stan points all of this out. it's probably the dimension hopping shit, right? maybe having to fuck your twin brother through a biological meltdown isn't all that big of a deal to him compared to whatever else he's seen. it also means that stan doesn't have to actually bring up any of that shit he's refused to admit thinking thinking about on the rare occassions he has been dragged down into a heat.

basically a win-win!

but yeah, he's definitely going to avoid the hell out of ford as best he can on said tiny ass boat after this. also refuse to talk about it, because fuck no, there's nothing tjo talk about. they just need to make port sooner than later so he can get his hands on suppressants again and they can pretend this never happened at all.

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

Hiii everyone, say, how do your Hawkes go go about sharing their estate? If they do it at all? Is everyone free to come and go or are they more private? Or do they only invite their LI to stay? I'm curious!! :)

[erifin-alt]

Finally managed to finish up the heights of the girls!

[askblueandviolet]

Macaque, you are a freeloader...

At least give The Mayor a kiss. 😗

MASTER POST

Asks Start 💙💜

Previous 💙💜

Next 💙💜

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

whatever you do, don't think about how lana saw herself in edgeworth, ok? don't think about how she wanted to distance herself from him the moment they met because he could possibly see through the sl-9 plan and ruin everything, but she couldn't because he was kind, if not a little awkward, to her terrified sister in a case where everyone else's only concern was securing a conviction. don't think about how she brought ema to the prosecutor's office (because she damn well wasn't going to let her sister face this alone) with her hackles raised and her defences bolstered because she'd heard about the "demon prosecutor" and his ways just to realise he's nothing but a young man, trying his best to survive under the weight of his mentor's shadow and ensure justice is served by whatever means he can. don't think about how she felt later, when she was under gant's thumb and knew for a fact that all those rumours surrounding von karma's perfect record were, in fact, true and that he was using edgeworth's faith in him to fulfill his own goals. don't think about how she felt when she had to begin doing the same. or what must have gone through her head when she entered her office one morning to find a case approval form waiting for her on her desk: the state v. miles edgeworth. don't think about how she knew, once she saw the name of the prosecutor assigned to his case, that she was signing his death warrant. don't imagine what she rehearsed saying to his sister or her realisation, after his miraculous survival, why he had been so understanding of her own. don't wonder, as she did, ineffectually, if it was his competence or her fondness for him that led to his car and knife being chosen to cover goodman's murder — a second attempt at his permanent removal — and whether it was affection or guilt that made her stand by the corpse, waiting readily to be caught in his stead. don't think about how she finds out, eventually, that he is gone, in a jail cell so far from remorse, gratitude and closure that she can only sit and turn in her head distorted thoughts about luck and fortuitous third chances. don't.

[starlooove]

“Fandom isn’t fun anymore fandom isn’t fun anymore” tbh it just feels like white racist “normies” jumped in as opposed to white racist nerds and for me personally u can feeeel it kinda but it doesn’t change much

[compacflt]

pre-publishing notes for extras part one (coming tomorrow i pray 🙏🏽 if not tmr than next saturday 🥺) for those interested

i am incredibly busy this wk so the final final edit of my fics isn’t gonna come till later, like next Wednesday or the weds after that or something.

but do not worry i am not changing anything major, unlike in previous edits. It’s just fixing little stuff (hyphenation, some grammar, places where AO3 fucked my italics, changing “chief naval officer” to chief of naval operations [i literally have no clue how that error happened as i got it right in some places and wrong in a bunch of other places like wtaf], removing brand names that show idk what the fuck im talking about, etc.). The most substantial edit is I’m adding one sentence to the slider one-shot where ice tries to convince slider that he and maverick are only tying the knot for financial purposes, and “so the govt doesn’t fuck one of us when the other dies for real.” that sentence was in my original draft and idk why it got removed.

i will not be editing the hangman one shot (besides fixing the proposal date), the airplane one shot, or the wingmen one shot because i do not really care for them and they have been overwritten by other sections of my fics. the bradley one shot is also pretty much going untouched

ONTO THE EXTRAS. Unlike some of my other fics which are M-rated & therefore kind of implicit, these extras are a littol bit edgy & explicit. Not beating around the bush anymore. I am warning for possible triggers, mostly related to disordered eating and, like, a BUNCH of casual suicidal ideation/discussion of suicide. Also it’s E-rated.

however that isn’t to say it’s not mostly fluff lol. there’s SOME sex but u know me.. it is sex as symbol not sex as sex... (You know what they say, $20 is $20 and writing practice is writing practice) I wanted to expand the scope of my original fics—more politics, more complications, more backstory, so that’s mostly what it is. Not everything revolves around goose anymore. It’s also about the rest of the world

parts of it will also obviously just be me dicking around, a disclaimer

not every scene that I’ve posted in a wip wednesday made the cut. I got rid of a bunch of them that were boring/repetitive. (so, my apologies to the anon who told me they liked the sickfic excerpt, for instance—the one where mav sprains his wrist is basically the same thing, we don’t really need to rehash the “taking care of each other” motif twice)

prolly download these somewhere else because it really is just 70k of a wall of text with no chapter breaks and we all know how ao3 is

thanks for reading! as always! ❤️❤️almost at the finish line here! part 2 (post TGM mission) hopefully next Saturday :)))

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[nonamelifeisboring]

brain: so our life is kinda good right now. you got into school routine, you dont stress much

me: yup, i feel pretty stable

brain: sooooooo maybe i could shake something up?

me: no.

brain: what about a New Tic?

me: no. Please. No.

brain: ;-)

me: ;-)

me: FUCK!

[crystalkitty1220]

Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN

[chickie-birdies]

Recently bought the chickens a rat-proof feeder because the world's biggest pack of rats has moved in and I've had enough. Training the chickens to use it is going well, if slowly. (It would be a lot faster if I still lived with my chickens, or at least lived closer than 30 minutes away... 😅 I can't be there all the time to work with them.)

Midnight, however, refuses to engage with the thing and instead stands next to it looking cranky while she watches the young'uns eat.

[spearxwind]

feeling solidarity these holidays with everyone not allowed to talk about their partner with the family

[sherlock-is-ace]

.