#I recently watched this (cancelled ���) series

[twice-inamillion]

Twice Series 

Life-Changing News

Chapter 246

1,930 Words

(The world as you know it takes a turn for the worse. A sudden outbreak, many get sick and many more die. It’s moments like these where you need to stay together.) 

You turn your phone back on after an eleven-hour flight back to Korea. Numerous emails and text notifications bombard your phone. “Must be serious.” So, on the car ride back home, you try to go through them, realizing the urgency. 

One of those emails is from your broker, urging you to observe the international and domestic stock markets. In those emails, you received notifications of a possible lockdown in Wuhan due to a containment issue. 

The more you read, the more you realize the potential problem it might have as people travel abroad due to the Chinese New Year. You go on multiple social platforms, searching for any information on the seriousness of the situation.

You turn and look at Nayeon, sleeping in the car after a long flight. Your phone goes off, and you see a message from your wife, who sent you a message welcoming you back and a picture of your children having breakfast. “The babies missed you.”

You arrive at the company building, where you turn in your report before heading back home. Nayeon continues to sleep on the way back, and you decide to listen to a report on the status of a potential epidemic within the Chinese region and the possibility of quarantining the city. 

The report continues to relay that government vehicles have begun to arrive at the city, and transportation entering and exiting has been suspended. This has caused people to try to exit the city as they predict the shutdown of the city.

You arrive at the front gate when the two large metal doors open. You drive through the motor court and see Jisoo and Ari’s heads against the large window, waving as they see you.

You see the large door open, and the two come running out shouting, “Appa! Daddy!” You crouch down and pick them both up, one in each arm. “Jisoo, Ari, I missed both of you. Did you take care of everyone while Daddy was out?” They both nod and say, “Mommies and babies safe.” 

All of you walk back to the house's entrance, where you see from afar the rest of the members in the living room. You place Jisoo and Ari on the ground, “I’m back.” 

Hina scoots down from the couch and walks towards you, asking for your hand, “Daddy, Hina show Da-Da, walk.” Hina leads you to where Daeun is playing and squats, “Da-Da, come, come…” waving her hand. 

Daeun smiles at Hina and puts her hands on the ground. She lifts her bottom, lifting herself into an upright position, and slowly wobbles. Slowly, she takes a step and another. Hina looks at Daeun, saying, “Come, Da-Da.” Daeun smiles and waddles faster to Hina, hugging her. 

‘Oh my god, Daeun. You can walk.” You pick her up and give her a big kiss. Dahyun, sitting on the couch, says, “She has been standing a lot recently. These past few days, Hina has been encouraging her a lot. Out of nowhere, she just started walking.”

Daeun smiles, and you look back at Hina, “Is that true? Have you been helping your baby sister?” 

Hina shyly nods, “Hina help Da-Da.” 

You squat and pick her help in your other arm and kiss her on the forehead, “You’re such a nice sister.”

You continue spending time with the family and enjoying seeing Daeun walk. It’s always nice catching up, even if you’ve only been out for a few days. 

The day continues, and every so often, you look at your phone for any updates. The situation in Wuhan is worsening as reports of a city-wide lockdown are imminent. You go to your office and watch a video of a Korean-Australian visiting the city for the holidays. After hearing about the potential lockdown, he decided to leave the city, and all public transportation has been halted. Flights have been canceled, and bus stations and trains have been blocked by military personnel.

People have begun to panic as the military started taking charge of the city. News networks estimate that about eleven million people are stuck with no way out. 

Seeing this makes you realize the possibility of it reaching Korea as many visit China during the Chinese New Year. “It’s not a matter of if, but when it comes to Korea.” 

You have a restless night; you’re worried about the situation and continue to wake up in the middle of the night. Multiple notifications go off from your phone. You see a report of SARS_CoV2 being detected in the United States and the first South Korean national being infected after working in Wuhan. 

The day goes by without interruption; there’s not much news about the first infected person. Most people assume that everything is under control with the Chinese government locking down Wuhan. 

You talk to a few friends from abroad and discuss the situation. One mentions that the virus was manufactured and meant to be used as a weapon. Another mentions that the government will try to downplay the situation and say everything is under control, but that’s only to prevent panic. 

Each has their own theories on how the virus came to be and how it began to spread. You hope it’s something small and can easily be contained, but understand that it might become serious at any point. 

Out of nowhere, someone mentions, “Hey, it might not be a bad idea to start stocking up on things; you never know.”

The rest of you laugh and make slight jokes about him being a survivalist or doomsday prepper. You, on the other hand, don’t think it’s a bad idea. “Hey guys, he might be right. People are going to start panicking if it does reach us. Not sure about you guys, but I’m the closest one to China, so I might buy some necessities, it won’t hurt.”

Your American friend says, ”Okay, okay, he has a point.” You all continue to talk for a bit more. One by one, your friends exit the chat, leaving only your American friend. “Hey, before you hang up, let me tell you something.”

”What is it?”

”Remember what our business professor said about following the money?”

”Yeah, I remember.”

”I don’t think this virus thing will be too bad, but if it does, just look at the stock market. You’ll know when shit hits the bricks if the markets start acting up. I suggest you look at the pharmaceutical companies.”

”Haha. That’s exactly what my broker said.”

”Hey, the money never lies.”

———

Weeks pass by, and not much occurs in terms of the virus. Most people continue to live their lives. There are a few cases here and there, but nothing major. The lockdown in Wuhan continues as the government tries to keep the virus from spreading. 

People have begun to relax after no significant outbreaks and Korean citizens who came from China are closely monitored. Everything seemed well, and life continued normally. You and Dahyun celebrated Da-eun’s first birthday with a big party, as well as Jihyo’s 23rd birthday.

The members even had their concerts in Japan as scheduled, which was surprising. At one point, you laughed at yourself, thinking of when you purchased enough food and supplies to fill an entire room and prepare for the end of the world. 

——

That all changed on February 23rd, 2020, when the virus mutated. Italy became the first country to be affected, and martial law was immediately implemented. Thousands of people were caught ill and many of them were hospitalized, never to be seen again. Italy was a popular destination spot for the elderly to retire and spend their golden years peacefully. Instead, the whole country closed, separating itself from its neighbors.

A few days earlier, the virus was given the official name COVID-19, also known as SARS-CoV-2, by the World Health Organization. After studying its strain, they thought the virus would be manageable and even developed a way to fight it. Instead, the virus mutated, adapting to the medicines given. 

The name COVID-19 began spreading through multiple news outlets, reporting on third-world countries and the sudden mutation of the virus. Many of those countries had a sizeable elderly population or an unreliable health care system. 

Back home, the streets of Daegu were empty as a result of a large gathering of churchgoers. Seventy new cases and the first death in Korea. Many people became scared, assuming that the virus would not spread due to the low numbers during these past few weeks. 

In the following days, the number of cases skyrocketed, with 1,261 positive cases out of the 9,336 people tested from the mass gathering: many more dead, mainly those with low immune systems and old age. 

Many entertainment agencies began to announce cancellations for their idols. JYP postponed any activities until further notice and ensured that the safety of their idols was their priority. 

The members gather in the living room, watching the news as they see the chaos in Italy and Korea. The new anchors recommend, “Due to the sudden spike of infections, we suggest that the elderly, people who are immunocompromised, and those who are pregnant remain indoors for your safety. Only essential personnel…” You grab the remote and turn off the television.

”Girls, I have some news. JYP postponed all activities and suggested that we stay here until further notice. We have enough food and supplies, so we should be okay.”

”What about our parents?” You turn around and see the worried faces of the members. 

”Let’s try to relax and get in touch with them. Tell them that we’re all okay and to remain indoors.”

The members agree and call their parents. Most of them respond by reassuring them that they’ll stay indoors. 

“Oppa, I can’t get a hold of my parents.”  You see Tzuyu’s worried expression. 

You hug Tzuyu and reassure her that everything is going to be okay. “They are going to be fine. I’m sure they are together and healthy. Let’s call them again in a few hours.”

”Oppa, I’m scared.” 

Sana begins to cry. You hug her as well, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure that you all are safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

”But what if it gets worse? What if many more people start to die? I still haven’t told my parents that they are going to be grandparents yet.”

“What… What did you say?”

Sana looks down and places her hand on her stomach, “I just found out a few days ago I’m pregnant.” 

“What, when, how?”

”I wanted to tell you, but with this situation going on, I couldn’t find the right time.” 

You hug Sana, “Oh my god, are you sure?”

Sana nods, “Yeah, I took my tests, and they all came positive.”

”That’s amazing; oh my god, I’m going be a dad again, haha.” You pick Sana up from her feet and spin her around. Sana giggles, happy from your reaction. 

You squat down, look at the kids, and say, “You’re all going to be big sisters. One more to the family.” 

“Umm… Oppa… make that two more.” 

You look up and see Momo holding her stomach. “It’s not just Sana; I’m pregnant too.” 

“Wait… what?” You lose your balance as you try to get up. You see shining lights as you feel slightly lightheaded. “Two? Two more?”

[bylrndgm]

JULIE AND THE PHANTOMS (2020) // JULIE E OS FANTASMAS (2011) 1.01 - Wake Up // 1.01 - Enfrentando Fantasmas -> Julie meets the Band.

[mettywiththenotes]

I can't believe The OA never got a S3 cuz could you imagine what it would have been like with Hap, OA and Steve all together going to the hospital?? The tension?? And Hap doesn't know who exactly this guy is and his relationship with OA, he'd likely recognize him from the pool, but other than that he's just some random kid who hopped into the ambulance, said hello, addressed him by his nickname and won't let go of OA's hand

We could have had Steve protecting OA, them trying to reunite with the others, Hap's confusion and trying to piece together a plan while the two become a thorn in his side, maybe Steve and Hap fighting? OA too (she definitely deserves to throw a punch or slap at Hap)? And that would probably just be the first couple of episodes alone njdsnfidsjk

So much potential for what could have come and we'll never find out

[coockie8]

I'm assuming it's gotten better in recent years 'cause I haven't seen him make these kinds of jokes and comments in quite a while (granted I'm also pretty picky about which videos I watch), but going back over some of Jacksepticeye's old videos, dude was super fucking fatphobic, huh?

[flythesail]

Lockwood & Co. really does have the best book to screen adaption I've ever seen. And the changes that were made not only improved upon the source material, but most importantly - felt true to it.

[slavicbeastie]

Just wanted to add Emily. I can't say much not to spoil the plot, but it's rare to find depicted this kind of female scientist. She started off rather simple, then they gave her complexity through humane angle, like the rest of the characters.

Emergence

It’s anyone here watching this show?

It surprised me, it has good characters, good plot, it’s fast paced… like there are answers in every episode, but again… the characters and the dynamic between them, I really like this kind of shows that can show you not only the plot but set relationships.

So we have:

Jo! She is the police chief and she is a leader like I’ve seen few times, she is so human! I know it sounds weird, but it’s true, she actually apologizes! (what kind of tv shows I watch that I’m actually excited about that fact?). She isn’t perfect, but even some of those aspects you get where they are coming from. Her dialogues with some of the people around here are a priceless as are her face reactions.

Piper… I wont say much about her because plot reasons, but I like the actress, she plays the part well and it’s not an easy part, and she is so damn cute that it makes the philosophical questions the plot asks very difficult. 

Mia is Jo’s daughter and she is a delight, she is smart, lovely, loyal, and so sweet. I find that I can totally believe her as Jo’s and Alex’s daughter, she has a personality that seems to be the merger between those two, which I believe to be good writing.

Alex is Jo’s ex husband and Mia’s father and he hasn’t been written as an asshole or bad. He is a good father and a good man, things just didn’t work between the couple (for all I know). To be honest sometimes I can totally understand his point of view, even if a love Jo for hers. It’s nice to see that.

Benny is the journalist with the information, the contacts, the first crumb, and zero good luck, I’m telling you… ZERO. They are doing a very fine work with his mental state too.

Officer Chris… look, I can not tell you how much I love him, but is a lot! He is adorable and awesome at his job! 

Ed… again… I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!! My heart can’t take it ok? You are gonna kill me Ed.

Abby is the kind of friend that I hope we all get at least one, and very conveniently: a doctor.

Daphne… She has been like in five episodes for a few moments but I love her ok? She is a whole mood!

And then comes the plot that disrupt all of their lives of which I will not talk because there has been so many mysteries and answers so far, I can not talk.

[illyrianbitch]

Are We Still Friends? — Part Five

Pairing: Reader x Azriel

Summary: A chance encounter offers a break from your tangled thoughts about Azriel. Meanwhile, Az reaches a pivotal realization.

Warnings: training, sparring and weapon use, severe overthinking, longing, brief use of recreational drugs (lovely 'mirthroot')

Word Count: 7.1k

Part Four | Series Masterlist |

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

Even in the early hours, the heat was suffocating. 

You’d been half-tempted to cancel on Mor, to crawl back under the covers and enjoy the blissful cool of your room. But you knew better. Mor would’ve winnowed straight into your bedroom, dragged you out of bed, and reminded you that you’d made a promise. 

So now, here you were, on the training grounds, sweat already collecting at your brow, watching Azriel and Cassian spar on the far side.

Both of the males were dressed in their usual head-to-toe leathers, though Cassian seemed just as bothered by the weather as you. You’d noticed he’d trained shirtless more often lately, something you attributed to the presence of his mate, but today he was fully covered. It probably had something to do with the steady, focused gaze Az held. Something to be cautious of. Wary. 

Unlike his brother, Azriel’s expression was detached, as if the sun didn’t touch him at all— like he was completely unbothered by the sweltering heat. His wings shifted slightly against the back of his leathers, but that was the extent of his discomfort, if any. 

You’d never visited Illyria in the summer months, never experienced the full brutality of its heat. Perhaps it was there, under that oppressive sun, that Azriel had learned to manage heat in such attire. But, then again, Az was entirely too skilled at masking what he actually felt.

Something about him, now before you, made you want to continue staring—his wings, the way his body moved with the smoothness of a predator, the effortless strength in the curve of his form. Lately, everything about Azriel had been doing that— distracting you. Overwhelming you. Calling to you like a siren song. His voice, his smile, the way he moved.

A laugh from Mor pulled you from your thoughts.

"It’s a shame the healing balm worked so well," Her voice teased from behind you. You turned at the sound, watching as she tossed a sword from one hand to the other with an ease that was almost poetic. "Seeing you turned me into a softie, you know.  All those bruises and that pouty face— I had to go easy because I felt bad for you.”

You snorted, catching the blade she tossed your way. "Oh, so that’s the only reason I beat you last week? Because you were going easy on me?"

Her grin widened. “Yeah. But Runa got too many hits on you. You’re rusty. So maybe I’m not doing you any favors by going easy." She raised an eyebrow. "Maybe Cassian’s been going too easy on you, too."

“Or maybe,” you shot back, stepping into the ring, “I was just going easy on a citizen.”

Mor’s laugh was loud and unapologetic as she followed you. "You’re saying that like you didn’t know exactly who she was when you threw the first punch."

You huffed a laugh, shaking your head as you squared up to her. “Okay, can we maybe stop reminiscing over my recent regrettable actions? Please?”

“Never.” She slid into a stance with ease. “But if you beat me, I’ll stop laughing about it for a week.”

“Only a week?”

“That’s all you’ll get, babe.”

You rolled your eyes, lips still curved in a grin. “Fine. Deal.”

And then, without hesitation, Mor lunged. Your blades collided with a sharp ring, the sound vibrating up your arms. You let the adrenaline of the fight pull you out of your thoughts, focusing on the female in front of you.

It was easy to forget, sometimes, that before anything else, Morrigan was a warrior. Graceful, clever, and impossibly skilled. The kind of fighter who didn’t rely on brute strength but on speed, precision, and an uncanny ability to read her opponent. Skills she’d learnt to outmaneuver and beat males that may have been twice her size, twice her age. And if you looked hard enough, past her glittering makeup and the plethora of gold jewelry she adorned, you’d notice the scars scattered across her body, small slices from knives and swords that didn’t have enough time to heal during the first war. 

Mor didn’t hold back, her strikes coming faster, sharper, until your muscles burned from the effort of keeping up.

From across the ring, Cassian’s booming laugh carried over, followed by what sounded like a gruff remark from Azriel. You glanced over almost instinctively, your eyes following the movement of Az’s shadows. They twisted around him, stretching into the shaded spaces between Cassian’s body and the ground, curling around the general’s feet in an attempt to constrict his movements.

Mor’s grin widened as she caught your sword mid-swing. “You’re distracted,” she said.

You twisted to break free, stubbornly meeting her gaze. “Am not.”

You tried to return to the rhythm of the fight, but Mor was right. You were distracted. Every glance in Azriel’s direction made your heart race, your mind spiral. Even from across the yard, you could feel the heat of his presence. It threw you off balance. And before you knew it, Mor disarmed you, sending you crashing to the ground with a grunt.

“Like I said,” she hummed, smirking as she extended a hand to help you up. “Distracted.”

“Maybe a bit.” You winced, rolling your shoulders as you stood straight. “I have too much on my mind. I haven’t been sleeping well.”

Mor tilted her head. “Wanna talk about it?”

You shook your head, wiping at the sweat on your brow. “That’s the last thing I want to do, actually.”

Her eyes narrowed slightly, assessing you before she nodded. “Well, we just got some new weapons last week—I’ve been dying to test them out.”

You raised a brow. “What kind of weapons?”

Mor shrugged. “Not sure. Rhys says they’re lighter. I think you’ll like them.” She grabbed your discarded sword, tossing both it and hers onto the rack with ease. “You’re too cautious for a regular sword anyway. You don’t like getting hit.”

“No one likes getting hit.”

“True,” she said, laughing slightly as she bumped your shoulder. “But you’re smart about it. Always letting them exhaust themselves first.”

“Go get them,” you nodded to her. “I want to try them out.”

Mor grinned. “Good. Then I can start kicking your ass with them, too.”

She turned to leave, and you watched her go, ready to grab some water. But then, just as you were about to turn, you felt it—a presence behind you. You knew it in your bones, from the soft breeze you swore his shadows danced in, that it was Azriel. Still, when you turned and saw him standing there, you felt unprepared, like something in your chest tightened, hot and sharp, like heartburn. You shoved it down, burying it deeper, just like you had been doing all week.

He raised an eyebrow at you.  “You’re really gonna let her beat you like that?”

You ran a hand over your face, trying to settle your racing pulse. “What can I say, it’s been an off couple of weeks.”

It was hard not to notice how close he stood, the way his presence seemed to fill the space, pushing the air around you in a way that made it harder to breathe.

“Yeah,” Azriel glanced at you, and his expression softened just a fraction. “Are you okay? I mean, now?”

You nodded too fast. “Yeah. Just hot. Overwhelmed.”

He studied you, his brow slightly furrowed, but there was something else behind it. Something he wasn’t saying.

“You can’t possibly be comfortable,” you said, gesturing at his leathers. “Aren’t you boiling alive?”

Azriel tilted his head as if considering your question, then replied evenly, “I’m alright.”

“You’re lying,” you replied, narrowing your eyes at him. “You have to be.”

That earned you a faint smile, a quick twitch of his lips that you might have missed if you weren’t already watching him too closely.

“You’re welcome to try them on,” he said smoothly. “See how they feel.”

You blinked, a small flutter echoing in your chest at the teasing edge in his voice. You frowned and said to him, “I’m wearing the exact same thing as you.”

“Mine are different.” His smile tugged again. “They’re cooling leathers.”

“Really? That's a thing?”

The look he gave you— a mix of amusement and something else— told you everything you needed to know. You scowled at him, but there was no real heat behind it. “You’re messing with me.”

When your eyes met his again, they were practically glowing in amusement. He shrugged, and his shadows seemed to dance with the motion— still clinging close to him, hiding from the sun, but seemingly content despite it. He gave you a quick, warm smile— as if he were afraid for the rest of the public to see.

“I am,” he replied, leaning closer. “My leathers are, sadly, just as basic as yours.”

The sunlight caught in his hair when he stood like this, painting it with faint golden streaks. Along with your growing frustration at the heat, your stomach twisted uncomfortably at the sight of him. You fanned your face with one hand, trying to ignore the ache building in your chest. You blamed the sun for making it tight. 

You suddenly became aware of your presentation—of the disheveled way you must have looked. Your hair had fallen loose during the sparring with Mor, strands clinging to the sweat at your neck, a messy halo around your face. You reached back, gathering it in both hands, attempting to tighten the hold of your hair tie. As you twisted it around, the elastic snapped, the sharp sting of it flicking against your skin.

“Shit.”

A quiet sigh left you as the broken tie dangled uselessly from your fingers. Of course. As if you didn’t already feel like disaster enough. You pushed your hair back again, fingers combing through the tangled strands, debating whether to leave it down or try to secure it with something else.

You realized, quickly, that perhaps this small inconvenience was a blessing in disguise— a reason to walk away from the conversation, to regain control of your scattered thoughts. You opened your mouth to excuse yourself, to say you needed to go put your hair up, but before you could, Azriel spoke.

“Wait.”

You paused, turning back toward him as he reached into one of the hidden pockets of his leathers. When he pulled out a hair tie, your eyebrows shot up.

“What—”

Azriel’s expression was uncharacteristically sheepish as he handed it over. “You always wear the same one. I noticed the band was wearing out. It was only a matter of time before it broke.”

“You… noticed that?”

His shadows shifted around him, curling between you two, and he subtly gestured toward them with his chin. “They did.”

Your fingers closed around the band as you stared at him. “So you’ve been carrying this around just in case?”

He nodded and you blinked at him, unsure if you should laugh or melt into the floor. “That… is very considerate of you.”

Az glanced at you, quiet for a moment, before he replied. “Well, I wouldn’t want you to snap and pick a fight with someone because you're overstimulated with your hair clinging to your skin. I’m just trying to protect the public.”

You rolled your eyes at that, though the thought of your family endlessly reminding you of your actions over the past few weeks made the corners of your mouth twitch. The infamous calm you’d prided yourself on—gone. You’d be hearing about your fight with a citizen for at least the next century.

“Shut up,” you said, but your heart still stuttered painfully. “But, also, thank you,” you added, focusing on twisting your hair into a knot to avoid meeting his eyes.

“Better?”

Your throat felt tight as you looked up once more, meeting his molten gaze. “Yeah,” you said. “Better.”

Azriel nodded, stepping back to give you space again. But you caught the faint curve of his lips, the small, quiet smile that made your chest ache.

You felt some relief as the wind ruffled your now-updo, but your thoughts circled.

Azriel had proven to be a male of his word. He’d spent the past two weeks showing you, in every way he could, that he was sorry. It wasn’t loud or showy—Azriel never was—but his apology seeped into the small, thoughtful things he did. Helping with reports, lighting your room’s fireplace when it got too cold. Nothing demanding, but everything that proved he was trying.

It almost felt normal again, like you and Azriel had fallen back into your usual rhythm. Your routine. 

Almost.

“Good luck,” Azriel said, nodding toward where Mor was returning with the new weapons. He leaned in slowly, his shadows drifting between your shoulders, curling in the pocket of shadow created by your closeness. “And, if you want… we can go flying afterward. To celebrate you beating Mor.”

The idea of being so close to him, of having him hold you to his chest, feeling his heartbeat against yours as he carried you, made your stomach churn, made you feel nauseous. Nervous. But you nodded anyway, smiled like it was just another plan, like old times. It felt tight. Diplomatic. 

“Okay,” you managed to say.

Azriel smiled, and you heard Mor’s voice asking what you were conspiratorially talking about. You didn’t answer, didn’t bother to pay attention if Azriel answered, either. The new, sleek steel weapons she’d returned with felt different in your hands. Lighter, faster. Mor had been right—these suited you better. But it didn’t matter. You were too lost in your head, too tangled in your thoughts.

Even if Mor had kept her eyes closed, she still would’ve won the next fight. You weren’t focused enough to stand a chance. There was a brief, confused look in her eyes when she realized how easily she’d taken you down once again.  But she didn’t press, not even as you yielded for the day and ran home, slipping into a cool bath with the hope that it would clear your mind of everything that tainted it.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

You stacked the last of the reports on the living room table, smoothing your palm over the top page before grabbing a scrap of parchment.

Rhys—went through the latest proposals and highlighted the ones most viable. Let me know if you need anything else.

You stuck the note on the pile and stepped back, scanning the work you’d spent the past few weeks compiling.

Rhysand would be by later to go over them with Azriel—discussions about Hewn City’s reformation efforts, the best way to bridge the centuries-old divide between the Court of Nightmares and the Court of Dreams. You’d done your best to outline a path forward, to present the grievances of its citizens in a way Rhysand could use to negotiate.

Your fingers drummed idly against the edge of the table before you caught sight of your wrist. The small hair tie sat there, snug against your skin. And although it was nothing, just a simple band, it felt as if it were burning. You weren’t sure why you were still wearing it—why it wasn’t in a pocket or left in your room, ready to be summoned when needed. You ran your fingers over it, jaw clenching as frustration rose in you, sudden and sharp.

At what, exactly? You didn’t know.

You did know, however, that it was likely related to Azriel.

You’d been avoiding him since the other day at training. Since he’d given you the small elastic now circling your wrist.

It wasn’t intentional, not really, but you’d been thinking too much. Feeling too much. Uncomfortable in your own skin, hyperaware of yourself and Azriel in ways that made your stomach twist. Like pressing against a tender bruise.

The anger you’d been holding onto—the indignation that had burned hot and bright in the aftermath of your fight—faded much faster than you’d expected. You still wanted to be angry, to hold onto the grudge that felt like armor, but Azriel made it impossible. His kindness had chafed against you, rubbing away at the edges of your resentment till all that was left was an overly aware sense of him. Of his presence, his care. His devotion to something as simple as your forgiveness. 

You’d forgiven him within a week, had taken all of his baked goods with open arms, had expressed appreciation for the times his shadows brought you snacks during your late nights with Rhys and Feyre, going over negotiation plans for the reformation efforts. 

But Azriel was being too nice now. Too thoughtful. Too much. And it was starting to wear you down.

You were noticing him in ways that felt deeper, heavier, and far more dangerous. It was overwhelming, this shift in perspective—like seeing him in a new light that illuminated details you’d never thought to look at before. The slope of his shoulders, the way he always seemed to be aware of you, even when he wasn’t looking at you. You felt blinded, too rushed to adjust to this new, backlit version of Azriel.

It stressed you out— made you want to sit down and create a list, sort through the pros and cons like some sort of strategy meeting. Analyze the feelings bubbling in your chest until you could pin them down and find the most equitable, profitable, and logical path forward. The right direction to take.

Realistically, you should wait it out. Let the feelings settle and fade before they could complicate the beautiful, solid friendship you’d built over centuries. You weren’t even sure what you were feeling. You couldn’t risk something so vital over emotions you didn’t fully understand.

The front door clicked open.

You turned at the sound of footsteps, eyes falling on Azriel’s figure as he stepped inside. His hair was a little mussed, dark strands sticking to his forehead like he’d flown through the midday heat. A faint flush tinted his cheeks, and for a moment, you wondered if the sun was still blazing in the midsky—if the warmth on his face was from exertion or simply the sun pressing down on him.

He took two large strides before his hazel eyes landed on you. His expression shifted, then, brightened, as if he hadn’t expected to find you here. The soft tug at the corners of his mouth, almost a smile but not quite, was enough to send your pulse into a sharp, erratic rhythm.

“Hey,” he said, lightly. “You’re home.”

“That I am.” You smiled and met his eyes. “Hi.”

He hesitated for a moment, then stepped farther into the room, something small and wrapped in plain paper in his hand.

“I’m glad I caught you. I have something for you,” he said, holding it out to you.

You blinked, glancing between him and the package. “What is it?”

“Some tea,” he said, his gaze flickering to yours before darting away. “For sleep.”

“For sleep?” you repeated, taking the package carefully, his shadows greeting you with a gentle circle around your wrists.

Azriel nodded, his hand falling to his side. “I noticed the other day. When you were sparring with Mor. You were leaning more on your left. You do that when you’re tired.”

Your chest tightened, your fingers curling instinctively around the package. “It was that noticeable?”

“Yeah,” he said. “ To me at least. I thought this might help.”

You didn’t know what to say to that, the simple thoughtfulness of it wrapping around you like a weight you weren’t ready to carry. You opened the package carefully, revealing a small tin filled with pouches of tea. You swallowed, staring down at the item in your hands.

“Thank you. This is…” You trailed off, your voice failing you. “This is really sweet, Az.”

“Let me know if it helps,” he said, shifting his weight slightly, his wings twitching behind him. “If you like it, I’ll get more.” He gave a small, almost tentative, smile. “Or maybe I’ll try it myself.”

You nodded, clutching the package tighter. “Okay. Yeah. I will.”

For a moment, there was nothing but silence between you. You turned, intending to step away, to put some distance between you and the sudden awkwardness settling in your chest. But as you moved past him, Azriel stepped closer, just enough that the space between you disappeared. For a moment, you were not quite touching, just close enough that you could feel the heat of him, the faint scent of night-chilled air and cedar.

And then his hand caught yours. When you glanced back at him, his expression had softened, a sense of concern flickering in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice low, intimate. Like he was sharing a secret despite you both being the only ones in the room. 

Your breath caught. You could see the faint crease in his brow, the way his gaze searched your face like he was trying to find his answer there, in your features. “Yeah,” you said quietly, even though your heart was pounding.

“Are you sure?” he pressed. His thumb brushed over your skin absentmindedly, as it usually did when he soothed you on bad days. Your breath hitched at how intimate it felt now, how aware it made you of his touch. “Are we okay?”

You blinked, frowning at his words. “Yeah, of course. Why would you ask that?”

He hesitated. “I don’t know. I just…I feel like I’ve barely seen you lately.”

“I’ve been busy,” you replied quickly, but the excuse felt hollow even as you said it. 

“Yeah,” he murmured, but something in his tone made you think he didn’t believe you. After a moment, he added, “Are you still mad at me?”

“No,” you said after a pause, and it was the truth. You weren’t angry at Azriel, not anymore. It had completely faded, morphed into something else entirely.

You felt guilty about how you'd been acting, how you'd resorted to avoiding him in an effort to make yourself feel better. Because, despite you telling him otherwise, you knew Azriel was interpreting your distance as proof that you were still mad. 

Azriel nodded, but his expression didn’t quite relax. His hand tightened slightly around yours. “But you’d tell me, right? If something was wrong?”

“Of course.”

His gaze softened further, his eyes almost pleading. “Because I always want to know,” he said quietly. “If something’s wrong. I want to know.”

You couldn’t breathe. His hand was still on yours, his thumb brushing soft, slow circles over your skin like he wasn’t even aware he was doing it. You were going to vomit. You were going to be sick. You had to leave. You had to get out of here before you did something reckless, before you said something you couldn’t take back.

“I know, Az. But, I should… I need to go,” you said, stepping back and gently pulling your hand from his. “I have a lot of errands to run.”

Azriel blinked, his brows drawing together in confusion. “Oh. Okay.”

You clutched the package tighter to your chest, avoiding his gaze as you backed toward the door. “Thanks again for this. Really.”

He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but then stopped, nodding instead. “Let me know if it helps.”

You nodded quickly, forcing a tight, polite smile before slipping out of the room.

When you made it upstairs, you grabbed a coat, barely paying attention to which one, and were out of the townhouse before you had the chance to run into Azriel again. You didn’t know where you were going—only that it needed to be away from him.

For a strange, fleeting moment, you found yourself wishing you were angry at him again. Wishing he was being stubborn and unfair instead of sweet and thoughtful. It had been easier then, even when it hurt, because at least you’d known how to deal with it.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

Velaris buzzed with midday energy, alive with movement and the sounds of life. The streets teemed with couples strolling hand in hand, children darting between legs, their laughter woven into the hum of conversation. You wove through it all in a haze, your mind spinning like a top. For a brief moment, you scowled at the love surrounding you—wondering if it had always been this prevalent, this visible, this... everywhere.

You hadn’t come up with a plan since leaving the townhouse, still unsure of where you were going—or if you even wanted to go anywhere at all. All you knew was that you needed to keep moving. Moving meant you were occupied. And being occupied meant you could at least try to ignore the noise—both the loud thoughts and the feelings twisting inside you. But no matter how fast you walked, how hard you tried to lose yourself in the busy streets, the fluttering in your chest wouldn't let you forget.

You weren’t stupid. You knew what it meant, even as you fought with everything you had to deny it. But maybe... maybe it wasn’t real. Maybe Selene had gotten into your head and now you were overthinking everything—reading too much into Azriel’s kindness, his care. You’d seen it before, convincing yourself of something that wasn’t true, spiraling until you couldn’t trust your own judgment.

You didn’t see the person you bumped into until it was too late. “I’m sorry,” you muttered, shaking yourself from your thoughts, but when you looked up—

“Oh,” you said, startled. You blinked at the male before you. “Hello.”

The golden light caught his hair—a rich, burnished brown that framed sharp, handsome features. Made them seem almost celestial.

Adrin smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly, two small dimples forming at his cheeks. “Y/n. Hello.”

“Adrin,” you said, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“No harm done,” he said easily. His tone was light, but there was a flicker of concern as he studied your face. “Are you…doing all right? I heard about what happened.”

“Yeah,” you said quickly, nodding. “It's a long story. But everything is okay.”

Adrin tilted his head, and although the smile was still there— that warm welcoming smile— his brows drew together slightly. “You seem…bothered. Long day?”

You huffed a small laugh, rubbing absentmindedly at your chest. “Something like that.”

He nodded, thoughtful. “I know the feeling. It’s been one of those days for me, too. I was about to try and make it better—clear my head a little.” He hesitated, then added, “You could join me, if you’d like.”

You blinked at him. “Oh, no, I don’t want to interrupt your plans—”

“You wouldn’t be.” He was quick to shake his head. “Really. I’d like the company.”

You hesitated. Thought through the idea. You liked Adrin. And while you wanted to run—hide away, retreat into the quiet of your own mind—you knew it would only make your thoughts spiral faster. But being around your family, or anyone who might see through you immediately, made you itch with unease.

Maybe this was exactly what you needed. The chance to be with someone who wouldn’t pry, someone who seemed genuine in his invitation.

“Sure, yeah. What are you thinking?”

Adrin’s lips twitched into a small grin. “I might have just the thing we both need.”

An hour later, you found yourself at his apartment, stretched out on his balcony overlooking the city. The air was cooler here, quieter, the noise of the streets below softened into a distant hum. The smell of mirthroot curled in the space between you, something so distinctly warm and earthy.

You breathed it in, already feeling lighter, like you were melting into your chair—but in a good way, not like earlier, when the heat had pressed against you relentlessly.

You took a slow pull from the rolled mirthroot stick Adrin had handed you. For the first time that day, your shoulders eased.

“Feeling any better?” he asked.

You exhaled slowly, watching the plume of smoke dissipate into the air. A soft laugh escaped you.  

“Oh yeah. I kind of forgot how much I like mirthroot. This is dangerous.”

Adrin chuckled, and you glanced over at him, watching as his lips curved into a lopsided smile—only one dimple visible now. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

You tilted your head, studying him further. “I wouldn’t have expected you to be into this,” you said, gesturing to the rolled stick in your hand.

His brows furrowed. “Why's that?”

You shrugged, still smiling, your face warm—not from embarrassment, but from the pleasant haze settling over you. “I don’t know. You’re from the Dawn Court. You’re a healer. You just seem disciplined. Like, above this.”

Adrin let out a full, rich laugh, the sound making your grin widen. “Please. Let’s go through that again. I come from Dawn. I’m a male healer. A pacifist, even.”

You paused, letting his words replay in your mind before it finally clicked.

“So it makes total sense,” you said, correcting yourself.

Adrin nodded sagely, and another small round of laughter followed, easy and unhurried. You realized how much you liked that about him. That his presence wasn’t demanding. That he let things be light. Maybe that was why it was always easy to converse with him whenever you’d stopped by Madjas. 

You inhaled again, letting yourself sink further into the feeling, into the rare quiet of your thoughts. Even now, though, even floating, something tugged at you. Some part of you that refused to be fully untethered. The rational side of your mind begged for a break from the relentless circling of your thoughts, but you shoved the worst of them away, opting instead to focus on the ones that didn’t hurt.

“Hey,” you said suddenly. “Can I ask you a really weird question?”

“Sure.” Adrin straightened slightly, tossing you a quick glance as he brought his mirthroot to his lips.

You hesitated, but the mirth haze had worked through your nerves, made you bolder, more loose lipped. “Do you have a crush on me?”

He choked on his next inhale, coughing before looking at you, eyes wide. “Sorry?”

“Nevermind. That was weird. Sorry,” you said quickly, looking away, waving it off. “Forget I said anything.”

But he shook his head, smiling faintly as he leaned in slightly. “No, it’s okay. I’ve always appreciated how forward you are. Honest. It’s refreshing.”

You blinked at him. “Really?”

He nodded. Then he paused for a moment, contemplating.  “If you’re asking if I find you attractive, the answer is yes. I think you’re beautiful.”

Something in your chest tightened.

“But,” he continued, “I wouldn’t say I have a crush on you. That feels… shallow. I don’t know you enough to call it that. It would be liking the idea of you. I don’t like doing that.”

His honesty was just as refreshing as he claimed yours to be. It loosened something in your chest—some small guilt that had settled when Mor first suggested you go out with him. Guilt at the idea that someone you’d grown to enjoy might want something from you that you couldn’t give.

If only everyone was this articulate. If only Az—

You shoved the thought away and exhaled slowly. “That’s… a really nice answer.”

Adrin smiled again, but this time, it was smaller, softer. “Does it bother you?”

“No,” you admitted, shaking your head. “It doesn’t.”

“Good,” he said. “I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable. I have no expectations here. I enjoy the friendship we’ve built—if you’d call it that.”

“Of course I would,” you said softly. A small chuckle escaped your lips as you raised your rolled mirthroot and nodded toward the one between his fingers. “And if I didn’t consider you a friend before, you’re definitely one now.”

Adrin’s laugh rang out, warm and melodic, filling the space between you. It was soothing, like the sound itself carried the calm of his healing touch.

You settled into a comfortable silence, the easy rhythm of conversation lingering between you as you both watched the city below. But then, without warning, your mind wandered once more.

This time, it drifted toward the upcoming event Rhys was hosting—a formal gathering to show appreciation for allies and those who’d supported him. At his own home, too. A gesture of humility. You could already picture the glittering decorations in the River House, the couples dressed to the nines, gliding together in effortless, practiced harmony.

Usually, those scenes didn’t bother you.

You’d never minded attending events alone, enjoying the freedom to slip in and out of conversations as you pleased. But now, the thought of walking into that hall, of watching so many people in love around you… It grated. And you knew exactly why. Azriel’s words, his reasoning for changing while dating Selene—how everyone was falling in love, moving on—echoed in your mind, and you hated how tightly they clung to you.

They’d made you feel like something was wrong with you for not actively seeking out love. For being content with being single. Alone.

You glanced at Adrin.

“Adrin,” you said, clearing your throat. “Are you busy this weekend?”

“I don’t believe so. Why?”

“There’s an event—Rhysand is hosting. It’s an appreciation for those who help him. I was wondering if you’d want to come with me. Considering everything you’ve done to help Madja… and us.”

His brows lifted slightly, surprise flickering in his expression before he smiled. “Really?”

You nodded, waiting and watching him as he thought through his answer.

“The company of a friend is always nice for events,” he said finally.

Your heart stilled at his use of the word "friend.” It felt reassuring. Safe. A reminder that he truly didn’t hold any expectations, just as he’d said only a few minutes prior.

“Yes,” you replied softly, a small smile curling your lips. “It always is.”

“I’d be honored to go. Thank you for the invite, Y/n. I’ve never been to big events like that.”

You laughed lightly. “If you keep letting me smoke your mirthroot, you can come to every event with me forever.”

He grinned, shaking his head, his hair falling across his forehead in an effortlessly charming way. “Is that what I’ve become now? A drug dealer and a friend in one?”

“Yes,” you teased. “A breath of fresh air, really.”

You both fell into another comfortable pause, settling into the easy rhythm of each other’s presence. You wondered what was going on inside Adrin’s mind. His eyes had grown distant, like he was retreating into his thoughts. He had mentioned having a long day too. You hoped he was feeling better now, just as you were, that perhaps your company had offered him what his had offered you—a reprieve.

Adrin reminded you of someone else in your life. Someone with teal eyes and the same easy, friendly humor. You smiled at the fleeting thought that crossed your mind, something quick and bright, like a shooting star.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

Azriel’s meeting with Rhysand had taken longer than expected, forcing both males to venture to the Hewn City itself. By the time he returned home, the city of Velaris was already asleep.

Azriel felt conflicted as he passed by your door, his shadows lingering just long enough to confirm that you were safe and asleep in bed. He was relieved, glad that you were finally getting the rest you needed, but a deep, quiet disappointment gnawed at him.

He was planning to catch you one last time today—to talk, even for a moment. To tell you about the meeting with Rhys and how brilliant your plans were, how he was praising them despite you not being there to bask in the compliments. He knew you loved the feedback, knew you loved hearing how your hard work paid off. It always did.

But Azriel knew, even then, the conversation would feel off.

Things had felt off since the night he apologized—and even his shadows had confirmed it wasn’t just in his mind. That he wasn’t simply overthinking.

You’d said you weren’t mad anymore, that you two were okay. But Azriel still felt, still knew, that something was wrong. 

Things weren’t normal. They weren’t hostile, and Azriel was beyond thankful for that, but it wasn’t comfortable like it used to be. You seemed to be hesitating around him. It gutted him to think that he had made you wary, made you overthink how you acted around him. He’d stripped himself of his own comfort.

Azriel stepped into his room slowly, feeling the weight of the day begin to catch up with him the moment he crossed the threshold. The door clicked shut behind him, and for a moment, he just stood there, leaning against the frame as he let the quiet settle around him.

The familiar emptiness of the room greeted him. His dresser was bare, the surface wiped clean once again. Mor had, strangely excitedly, offered to clear it out for him when she first learned about Selene’s betrayal. Despite the anger simmering inside him, Azriel had made her promise not to take any drastic measures—he didn’t want her to engage with Selene at all. Mor had reluctantly agreed.

Azriel took a few more steps into the room, and with each movement, the exhaustion that had been nagging him all day seemed to settle more heavily on his shoulders—his body was sore, his mind buzzing with a thousand half-thoughts.

His shoulders slumped as he sank onto the edge of the bed, his hands moving to rub his face, fingers dragging through the mess of his hair.

Azriel hadn’t placed all the items Selene moved, the minimal decorations he owned, back where they belonged yet. But he opened his bedside table and grabbed the one thing he was thinking about—the strange clay creation of him you’d made.

His mind wandered to the night he cleaned your wounds and apologized.

He’d traced the change back to that moment.

Azriel didn’t know why he felt disappointed, why he had expected something different from that interaction. He’d apologized, finally, as he’d intended to—though too late, he told himself, because you’d gotten hurt. But you had accepted it, had looked at him with that same softness he’d come to admire, and accepted it. You’d cracked a joke. You both laughed. It had felt simple again, natural, like Azriel had finally found his way back to himself. But something in him sank when he’d said that one line—when he said he didn’t know why he’d entertained the idea that you’d ever have feelings for him.

He wasn’t sure why, but it tasted so wrong—sour, like something rotten.

He let himself sink further into his thoughts.

Azriel had never seen himself as lovable. At least, not in the way everyone else was. 

From the moment he was thrown into that dungeon as a boy, he’d believed he deserved every punishment, every scar, every moment of suffering. The people who should have loved him—the people who were supposed to care—had only taught him he was a burden, something broken and unwanted.

When he left that darkness behind, it followed him, reshaping him into something sharp and unrelenting. A weapon. He became what was needed, what a High Lord required, committing acts that would haunt him for the rest of his life. He wore those deeds like armor, each one another layer of the male he thought he had to be.

Love, he assumed, had to be just as hard. How could it not be? He was unworthy of the softness others found so easily. While Rhysand, Cassian, Amren, and Mor managed to find it, to hold onto it despite their own sins, Azriel had only ever known heartbreak.

So he told himself that love—for him—would never be simple. It would require blood, pain, sacrifice, and suffering. He thought love needed to ache in his chest, leaving him hollow and desperate, clawing for scraps of something he couldn’t quite hold. That it had to be fought for with every ounce of strength he had. And maybe even that wouldn’t be enough.

Something had changed, though, regarding how he thought about love. 

His fingers brushed the rough edges of the clay figure in his palm. It was uneven and messy, painted in smudges that bled into each other. The proportions were laughably off—the wings crooked, the body too long—but it fit perfectly in his hand nonetheless.

He held it carefully, turning it over as his chest tightened. You’d made this for him, drunk off your ass and laughing with the others, your hands coated in clay. You’d sculpted a miniature version of him without a second thought.

And though it wasn’t a gift, though you hadn’t even mentioned it after that night, Azriel kept it. Kept it somewhere safe, somewhere he could easily grab it and remind himself that if someone as kind as you could love him, care for him the way you did, then he must not be as awful as his mind often tried to convince him he was.

You’d seen the worst of him—all the jagged edges and dark, unspoken parts. He was the softest with you, a side of himself he never showed anyone else, but somehow also the worst. You’d heard the things he’d done, seen him caked in blood that wasn’t his, and still, you had sculpted him. Still, you thought of him when you were having fun.

Azriel had begun to realize that, in reality, love seemed to be… patient. Gentle.

The love his family had found was hard at times, yes, and needed to be fought for, like everything important. But it was kind. Natural.

And so Azriel thought long and hard, the clay figure resting warm in his hand, his shadows curling and twisting softly around him. They whispered your name, over and over, like a quiet, delicate prayer.

And that was when everything clicked into place.

That deep longing he felt to see you, that comfort he found in your presence, the ability to be open, bare, seen, and unafraid—

That feeling was love.

He was in love with you.

And he suddenly couldn’t remember a time when he wasn’t.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

authors note: hey yall.... how we feeling?????

so like im invested. and also i kinda love Adrin like yesss gimme a stoner healer man who respects a persons boundaries and doesnt crush on the idea of them before knowing them!!!

and yesss for azriel being in love!!! hes gonna be struggling with this new realization, fighting the Voices in the corner of his room and being jealous over things he doesn’t need to be jealous over. mmmmmm delicious

i do believe….there may only be one (1) part left 🫢

as always— thank you for reading 🫶🏻

and don’t forget your daily clicks for palestine !

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[chilisworld55]

back home | Carlos Sainz cs55

🌶️ warnings: smut, oral (f receiving), pussy eating, fingering, hickeys

a/n: hey! i hope you like this! please feel free to send me any request, feedback or question or anything! i’m sorry if there is any mistake, i’ll try to improve🫶🏻

It was monday, you had a free day after working over the weekend which has you exhausted so you decided to be in pijamas all day (some shorts and an oversized shirt of your beloved boyfriend). Carlos and you were talking early in the morning, and he wasn’t coming home until wednesday.

You were aware of how demanding your boyfriend’s work is. There’s times in which he is so busy that he couldn’t even come back home in weeks and this was one of those times. He had two race weeks consecutively and unfortunately, you couldn’t go with him due to work.

You were alone at the living room, laid back on the couch while watching a series that you recently found on netflix but after a couple of episodes, your eyes couldn’t take it anymore and were slowly closing by themselves. Next thing, you were sound asleep.

In the middle of the night, you felt a pair of arms lifting you gently on the air, carrying you somewhere else and your eyes were wide open because you recognized who was it. “amor? what are you doing here?” you said as you wrapped your arms around your boyfriend’s neck, face buried against his chest and oh gosh how you missed him, that fresh but sweet scent, his warm touch, pretty much everything about him.

“hola mi amor, sorpresa!” hi my love, surprise! he whispered and planted a kiss on your forehead as he walks towards your shared bedroom. “las cosas que teníamos hasta el miércoles se cancelaron, entonces compré el primer vuelo a casa” the stuff we had scheduled until wednesday got canceled, so i got the first flight home

“i missed you so much… why didn’t you tell me earlier!?” you looked into his eyes as he placed you down on the middle of the bed, parting your legs a little to make room for himself.

“i wanted it to be a little surprise, cariño, and i missed you even more” he lowered himself so his body is on top of yours between your legs, head on your chest and arms wrapped around your waist.

You giggled and shook your head. “we’re not fighting about who misses who more, okay?”

Carlos ignored what you said as he took a moment to admire you and feel you, his hands slowly going under your his shirt, fingertips gently tracing over your soft skin. “te ves tan hermosa usando mi ropa” you look so beautiful wearing my clothes he mumbled and started leaving little kisses on your neck.

You blushed and were so sensitive since you haven’t had anything intimate in weeks so even the slightest touch could make you feel butterflies and who wouldn’t with this man?

“Carlos… aren’t you tired…? you’ve been so busy… ah-” you whimpered as he tugged on the gem of your shorts and let it slap back against your skin. then, he slowly lifted your shirt and his trace of kisses continued over your stomach.

“when it comes to you, i’m never tired” he whispered and you couldn’t help but moan, your legs spreading even more as your boyfriend kneeled on the edge of the bed, his lips now attached to the inside of your thighs.

“i couldn’t stand another day without you” he sucked a certain spot on your inner thigh that had you whimpering. “these weeks have been like torture…” he kissed the other thigh, wanting to give both the same amount of attention and wasted no time in leaving hickeys all over them.

“please… no more waiting… i’m right here, all yours” you pleaded, feeling how soaking wet you are getting under those shorts, throbbing for him already.

“are you desperate for me, cariño?” you nodded and he smirked as he tangled his fingers on the gem of your shorts and pulled them down, soon exposing your wet pussy. His fingers found their way to your cunt, using two of them to part your lips and a third one to collect the wetness and spread it all over. “ya veo que me estabas esperando, eh? sin bragas y toda mojadita” i see that you’ve waiting for me, huh? no underwear and all wet

Carlos licked his fingers and got closer to your pussy, giving a long lick to it, big hands grabbing both of your thighs, making sure to keep them apart, those light brown eyes looking up into your souls as he was eating you like a starved man. You were moaning so loudly, enjoying his tongue and your fingers pulling on your boyfriend’s hair each time his tongue brushed of your clit.

“joder, me vas a volver loco” shit, you’re gonna drive me crazy Carlos’ tongue was fucking your tight hole, his thumb tracing little circles on your sensitive bud, he was moaning against you and it sent little vibrations which made the sensation much better and intense.

“i’m cu- i’m cumming… carlos, por favor, don’t stop” please you moaned.

“córrete, córrete para mi, amor” cum, cum for me, love his lips pulled apart to speak but he was quick enough to push his fingers inside and hit all your sweet spots. Your boyfriend’s fingers could not compare to yours, they are much longer and thicker than your own so at this time, you were in cloud nine.

Your walls clenched so hard around his digits, the knot on your stomach tightened and Carlos kept talking dirty to you with that spanish accent that you love. That was when you came undone, creaming and moaning his name, not even caring if it was 3 am in the morning and the neighbors were sleeping.

“mierda…. espero y no pienses que he terminado contigo, cariño” shit… don’t think i’m done with you he slowly stood up with a clear bulge inside his pants, waiting to be taken care of.

[momochanners]

After a good night's sleep, I think I can better solidify my thoughts in regards to the Dragon Age trailer.

First, let's start with the positives:

- Companion diversity: This has always been part of the series' DNA that has been clearly depicted with every iteration, so those who cry foul over "Asian & Black elves", prosthethics, etc etc...I really don't get that, because values and sensibilities evolve over time. Even the series itself has course corrected when needed, eg. Player character creation influencing the family ethnicity of the Couslands in DA:O vs the Hawkes in DA2.

- Unlocked romances: Letting players choose whoever they want to romance regardless of their sexuality and race has always been a positive for me. Allowing everyone to enjoy the experience equally is great (and I'm sure the nuances of player race & gender will be addressed through dialogue and banter). Moreover, CRPGs are long and time-consuming, so to be locked out of character romances mid-way through is never going to be a good time (from personal experience and observing fandom in the past).

Now the negatives:

- Maybe it's me being on the older side of the Bioware fandom (15 years in Dragon Age, 20 years if you count older games like KotOR and Jade Empire), but I cringed very hard watching the trailer. If you followed the development of this game in the past decade, the cancelled live service element that was to be DA4 in one of its iterations was so all over the way the companions were introduced that it brought out a visceral reaction in me. The tonal whiplash from how foreboding Dreadwolf was presented in the past to the patronising happy quippy MEET OUR LITTLE GUYS YOU'RE SURE TO LOVE also did not help as a first concrete look of what to expect after all this time (also poor anachronistic choice of soundtrack when you already have Trevor Morris' compositions right there). I was so dismayed when they went with a looter-shooter-esque lighthearted vibe when they could've leaned hard on the foreboding established mood and momentum they've already got going with Dreadwolf. 

- The branding switch this late in the game that comes with it, especially one as drastic as this will always come with questions and ambivalence. I feel that mitigating uncertainty from announced changes (party number, combat mechanics, setting and environment, etc) should've have been prioritised to reassure existing and lapsed fans before appealing to new ones in such a jarring way.

-  I'm simply baffled at the marketing suit who signed off on whatever this is to be their "best foot forward" at reintroducing the final form of this game? If only there were confident with the world they've already built instead of relying on trendy gimmicks, the amount of damage control I'm seeing prior to the gameplay reveal tonight was so avoidable. Controlling the narrative from the get go is so very important especially now as opinions can easily snowball overnight into behemoth-like proportions especially from bad faith actors. You would think that lessons were learned from DA:O's "THIS IS THE NEW SHIT" and DA2's "Press a button, something AWESOME happens" debacles.

(The thing is, despite it being my least favourite DA out of the three, imho Inquisition has the best marketing campaign in the franchise despite the developmental troubles going on in the background. So it has been pulled off successfully before!)

- I think the Bioware layoffs, especially the recent extensive gutting of senior staff in September 2023, significantly depleted my goodwill as a fan. To see Varric being paraded as a mascot in the trailer, game promotion and supplementary media while having his creator unceremoniously let go after years of building the franchise we love left me so very cold. And it's a me problem, but seeing many other fans barely acknowledging that save for few hollow words before getting back into the fun frustrated me so much. I get being excited to finally get something solid after years of false starts, but with what was lost along the way...I personally don't feel right to approach this installment without cynicism.

Idk, I'm just a bundle of conflicted feelings over this series I guess? When it's so good, it's really good and stays with you as memorable gaming experiences that stays with you for life, but when it stumbles and fumbles the bag...it hurts to see.

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

Have Faith In Me - GF!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader - Part 1

I said I'd never let you go, and I never did. I said I'd never let you fall, and I always meant it.

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Summary: After leaving Woodsboro for a fresh start, you’re shaken up when Ghostface resurfaces. Little did you know, the person you were in love with is a part of it.

Contains: Oral - f receiving, p in v, unprotected sex(pulling out thooo), angst at the end💁🏼‍♀️

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: I NEEDED to write another Ghostface Ethan fic. And then I realized I don’t have a series yet where he’s the bad guy, so here ya go💕Also, still working on Creep part 2 even though its been a while(I think I made it a little too much lmao).

You were never supposed to know that Ethan had a part in why people were being murdered, at least not yet. He was disappointed in himself for being so careless, so stupid. His thoughts were racing as he tried to think of anything he could say to you to make you want to keep quiet. He knew his dad and sister would be furious if their plan was destroyed because of Ethan’s negligence, but he was more worried about your safety, which he’d already begged his family for.

It started off as a normal day. Well, not really. After two students and a professor were killed close to campus, your morning classes had been cancelled for the day. With the recent killings, you didn’t want to be alone. You called Ethan, your boyfriend’s groggy voice making you smile once he answered.

“Were you still sleeping?” you asked, as he yawned.

“Classes are cancelled. What else am I supposed to do?” he asked, as you giggled. “Wait, what are you doing today? Are you by yourself?”

“Yeah, I was going to call Tara, but I know she’s probably exhausted from being questioned all night,” you said, as he dramatically scoffed at your words.

“So I was the second person you wanted to call,” he said, the fake annoyance in his voice making you roll your eyes. “You should come to my dorm. We can cuddle, watch movies, and Chad’s not here so we can do some other stuff, too.”

“I can’t believe you’re suggesting sex when there’s someone out here killing people. That’s one of the first rules, don’t have sex,” you said, as Ethan started to chuckle.

“Okay, Mindy,” he teased, “You sounded just like her for a second.”

“Hey, I want to live, and I want you to live, too,” you said, as you slid your shoes on your feet. “I’m leaving now, I’ll be at your dorm soon.”

Your dorm was only one building away from Ethan’s, so the walk was very short, and the sun was shining, but you were still nervous as you walked a little faster to get to his dorm, just in case. You’d had previous encounters with Ghostface in Woodsboro, and after Judy was killed right in front of her house in the middle of the day, you felt like you could never be too careful.

When you made it to Ethan’s dorm, you knocked before the door opened, a sleepy smile on his face as he stepped to the side to let you come in. He was shirtless, his flannel pajamas hanging lowly on his hips. You bit your lip for a second as you checked him out, before he cleared his throat.

Your eyes snapped from his abs to his face, his lips twisted into a smirk as you felt your blush spread across your cheeks.

"You checking me out?" he teased as he walked over to you, his hand going underneath your chin to tilt your head up before he leaned down to kiss you.

"Mhm," you mumbled into the kiss. He stood there, his lips on yours for a minute before he pulled away.

He sat on his bed, making grabby hands at you as you sat down beside him. When he laid back to relax his head on the pillows, you moved with him, your head resting on his chest as your legs tangled with his.

"Do you want to talk about what's going on? With the Ghostface stuff?" he asked after a few minutes of silence. "I know this must be scarier for you than it is for me."

You sighed as his hand ran over your hip, thinking about how terrifying everything was in Woodsboro the year before. You were trying so hard to not think too much into it, because you were sure you survived last time out of pure luck, and the odds of you making it out unscathed again wasn't very likely.

You didn't even know your eyes were watering until the tears trickled, running over your cheekbone before they made it to Ethan's bare chest.

"Hey, are you okay?" Ethan asked, as you sat up and placed your face in your hands. He sat up, too, pulling your hands away so he could see you. Guilt for what he and his family had done and everything they still had to do punched him in the chest once he saw your panicked, red eyes, and your bottom lip quivering. "I won't let anything happen to you, baby."

"I just can't believe this is happening. We thought leaving Woodsboro meant we would never have to deal with this again," you said, your voice shaking as Ethan offered a sympathetic smile. "When I tried to sleep last night, all I could see behind my eyelids was Sam's psycho boyfriend running at me with his knife."

Ethan shook his head, trying to remain calm. He knew Richie tried to kill you that night before he met you, because he read all the police reports and files his dad got after everything happened. At first, you were supposed to be just another body that was going to drop before the Kirsch family fled the country. At least, that was the plan before Ethan fell in love with you.

"I promise you, you're going to be okay. I won't let anything happen to you," he said, a small sob slipping past your lips.

"You can't promise that nothing will happen to me, Ethan," you said, wiping the tears off your cheeks. "Just like I can't promise that nothing will happen to you."

Ethan pulled you close to him before he kissed the top of your head.

"I don't want you to be alone. If you aren't with me, I want you with someone at all times, okay?" he said, as you nodded. "Are you going to Tara's when I have to leave for Econ later?"

"Yeah, will you walk me there before you go to class tonight?"

"Of course, baby."

You still had a few hours before he had to leave for class, so you cuddled up with him and decided to watch something funny to lighten the somber mood. As you and Ethan laughed, the terrifying reality that was your life wasn't weighing as heavy on your mind, because you really did feel safe with him. You knew he'd protect you if it came down to it.

You kept stealing glances at your boyfriend's still-shirtless body, paying extra attention to the way his arms flexed whenever he shifted beside you. It didn't take long for Ethan to notice, and once he realized that you had stopped watching the movie and was more interested in watching him, he leaned over to shut his laptop.

"Do you not want to watch the movie anymore?" you asked, as you quickly looked up to look at his face, the same smirk from earlier back on his lips.

"It didn't seem like you did," he teased, as he leaned in to kiss you. "Do you think oral counts in the whole 'Don't have sex' thing?"

"Is this your way of asking me to suck your dick?" you said, laughing a little as he bit his bottom lip.

"No, this is me asking to eat you out," he said, your eyes growing wide at his words, your breath hitching in your throat. "If you want me to."

"I don't think oral counts," you said, your smirk matching his before he pushed you back and hovered over you, connecting his lips to yours. "We do have to leave soon-ish, though, if you're going to walk me to Tara's before class."

"I have plenty of time to make you cum," he mumbled against your lips, before he pulled away to sit up.

His hands went to your leggings, hooking his fingers under the waistband before he slid them down your thighs. After they were off, his hand went straight to your pussy, teasing you as he rubbed you over the material that was getting wetter by the second in between your legs.

You relaxed under his touch, your legs spreading wider for him as he added a little more pressure. One of Ethan's favorite things in bed was teasing you, because he loved how whiny your voice sounded when you couldn't take it anymore, but as he thought more about the time he didn't have, he quickly pulled your panties down, leaving the lower half of your body exposed to him.

He scooted further down the bed, and once he was settled between your thighs, his eyes connected with your needy ones. He watched you as his tongue connected with your pussy, your mouth parting as you took a deep breath.

One of your hands lazily rested in his curls as he placed gentle licks to your clit, every thought running through your mind fading as you focused on how he was making you feel. The anticipation for him to do more had your skin tingling, but before you had the chance to say anything, his mouth moved lower, his tongue dipping inside your dripping pussy.

He was alternating between swirling his tongue inside of you and licking from your entrance to your clit, your hips squirming at the feeling as he tried to keep you still.

"Fuck," you moaned, your hand tangled tightly in his hair as you looked down at him. His mouth moved even faster, eating your pussy like he was craving it. He sucked your clit into his mouth, the delicious pressure making your back arch off the bed. "Oh my god," you whimpered, his teeth gently grazing it before he sucked a little harder.

Ethan knew that feeling was starting to build as he watched you, your brows furrowing, your whimpers slipping out through the corners of your mouth as your teeth tightly held your bottom lip. You felt his fingers prodding at your entrance before he slid his middle and ring ringer into you with ease, and he wasted no time to curve them, making sure to hit that spot.

"So close," you whimpered, as he chuckled with your clit in his mouth and kept going.

Your hand in his hair was shaking, your toes were curling against his sheets, your breathing was so heavy. Ethan loved seeing you like this, so close to the edge, and knowing he was the one that was making you feel that pleasure made his cock throb even harder than it already was.

He pressed his fingers a little harder, the feeling making your eyes roll back as you whined out, the hot feeling spreading across your body as your thighs clenched around his head. You were a whimpering mess as your body rocked from the waves of pleasure running through it.

As you came down from your high, your body relaxing against his bed as he pulled away, he watched you in awe as you caught your breath. He always thought you were beautiful, but your post-orgasm glow was his favorite. You lazily opened your eyes to see him staring at you, a smile playing on your lips.

"I know it's against the rules, but I need to have you inside of me," you said, as he laughed and slid his pajamas and boxers down in one swift motion.

"Condom or no condom?" he asked, waiting for your answer before he crawled on top of you.

"Just pull out," you said, a smirk playing on your lips as he quickly got settled between your legs.

"We have to be quick," he said, glancing over at the Star Wars clock on his night stand. "Is that okay?"

"Mhm," you said, as he slid inside of you.

He gave you a minute, his thrusts slow as your pussy adjusted to his size, before he sped up. You clung to his biceps as his hands were pressed flatly against his bed on either side of you, the tip of his cock slamming into your g-spot with every snap of his hips.

"Shit," you whimpered through your clenched teeth, your legs wrapping around his waist so he could go even deeper.

It didn't take long for your eyes to start rolling back again, the words you were trying to say coming out as babbles that Ethan couldn't understand.

"Look at you, so drunk off my cock," he teased, as you quickly nodded your head, your moans getting louder as he slid in and out of you. "Taking it so fucking well."

He grunted once he felt your nails dig into his arm, the stinging sensation turning him on even more. He went faster, and before you had the chance to process that you were about to cum, your body started to jolt, a loud cry flying out of your mouth as your pussy clenched him.

"Fuck, gonna cum," he moaned, before he pulled out.

As soon as he did, the realization that you were still wearing your shirt hit him as he covered it in his cum. You were too caught up in coming down from your own orgasm that you didn't notice, until Ethan started laughing to himself.

"What?" you asked, your breathing still labored as he shook his head and ran his hand through his curls.

"Uh...you wanna borrow a shirt before we leave?" he asked, as you glanced down to look at your shirt before you started laughing.

"Please," you said, as he leaned down to place a kiss to your lips.

He helped you get off his bed before he grabbed the clothes he wanted to wear out of the laundry basket full of stuff he hadn't folded yet, as you walked over to his dresser to search for your favorite shirt of his.

His back was turned towards you, but once he heard the drawer open, his head snapped in your direction, his heart pounding in his chest as you placed your hand over your mouth.

You saw the knife with the dried blood on it resting on top of his folded shirts, your eyes growing wide as your stomach felt queasy. You hesitantly turned your head to him, your eyes watering as he stepped closer.

"Baby," he said softly, as you took a step back. "This isn't what it looks like."

"So that's not a fucking bloody knife in your dresser?" you snapped, as he darted towards you, wincing at the loudness of your voice before his hand covered over your mouth.

"Shut the fuck up," he whispered, his eyes wide as he backed you towards the wall.

In that moment, you knew the person you were in love with was a psycho, fear coursing through your veins as his dark eyes looked into yours.

"I can't explain everything right now," he said, his face softening as his hand was still pressed against you. "But nothing's going to happen to you. You can't say anything, baby. You need to keep quiet, it's the only way I can keep you safe."

You hesitantly nodded, the tears running down your face pooling against the side of his hand. You were trying so hard to choke back your sobs as he groaned.

"I'm so fucking stupid," he said, as he took a deep breath. "If I let go of your mouth, will you be quiet?"

You nodded again, as he slowly pulled his hand away. You glanced at the floor as he stood in front of you, your chin quivering as he sighed.

"Baby, I'm sorry," he said, as he placed his hand under your chin and lifted your head to face him. You were still refusing to make eye contact. "I'm serious about you not saying anything. I'd never hurt you, but who I'm working with would. You know how long it took for me to convince them that you didn't need to die?"

You took a shaky breath as you looked at the person you thought you knew really well a few minutes ago, the realization hitting you that you don't know him at all.

"Can I trust you to not say anything?" he asked, a few more tears slipping past your lash line as you nodded. "I'll tell you everything later, okay?"

"Okay," you whispered, as he walked over to grab a shirt out of the drawer that was still open, and handed it to you.

"You need to get dressed, baby. I'm going to be late for class."

[loveshotzz]

My name’s Elvira, but you can call me tonight

steve harrington x eddie’sbestfriend!reader

Melt With You

summary: A cancelled movie night, Steve’s first high, and a realization you weren’t expecting.

wc: 2.7k

warnings: my blog is 18+ but this will be pretty safe for work. takes place in 1988 when Elvira Mistress of the Dark came out. post season four but no mention of the upside down, fem!reader, mentions of weed smoking, mentions of being stoned and being high for the first time, mutual pining, cuddling.

A/N: first I want to dedicate this to @bewilderedbunny for pointing out that Steve Harrington is Bob coded which made me fall even more in love with him. You can also thank @dr-aculaaa for putting this brain worm in my head where it spiraled and then she entertained it again and it spiraled some more. p.s. I know her movie macabre was cancelled in 86 but brought back in the 90’s but let’s pretend.

mini series masterlist -> chapter two 🎃

Steve was close. Too close.

His thigh is warm pressed against yours, long legs spread wide taking up most of the room on the couch. The cedar that clings to the threads of his maroon sweater mix with the old spice that he’s almost sprayed too much of, and you’re surprised at how much you actually like it. You blame it on the joint you both shared, and you do it again when his socked foot touches yours from under the blanket draped across your laps and your heart rate kicks up a few beats. This was just Steve, your new friend. Eddie’s new unlikely friend.

The living room in your apartment is dimly lit in a mess of Halloween colored string lights strung up along your walls that Eddie helped you hang up last week on the first official day of fall. They fill the small space in bursts of warm orange pumpkins and tiny purple bats while Elvira Mistress of The Dark glows from the screen of your TV in front of your couch. The couch where Steve is still sitting too close. 

The flicker of your candles dances across your walls and you’re tempted to blow them all out when they keep catching the corner of your eye. Maybe that's why you can't focus on the movie you were so excited about. The movie you raised a big fuss over when the group canceled your weekly night in favor of dates and work. The movie Steve still offered to watch with you saying he had no plans anyway. You really contemplate it when you realize it’s filling your living room with the kind of smell that’s eerily similar to the one embedded in the leather of the BMW you recently started getting more rides in.

When Steve laughs you can smell the berry on his breath from the Red Vines he can’t stop eating, his fingertips glisten from the half finished tub of popcorn on the coffee table. His arm brushes the length of yours when he leans forward to toss the almost empty pack of candy with the rest of the snacks and your stare immediately finds the sliver of tan skin revealed to you when the maroon hem rides up. Stomach flipping when you spot more freckles than the ones that seem to dot the endless expanses of his perpetually sun kissed skin. 

“Wow, she’s funny!” He snickers like he just got a good surprise, leaning back into the cushions. “I didn’t know she was so funny.”

The shift in his weight makes the couch dip, bringing you closer to him. Shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh. Why is your chest tight?

Turning your head, you meet his blood shot, heavy lidded gaze and lazy smile that pushes up his pink cheeks. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Steve Harrington so content. So relaxed. It might have something to do with the fact that the joint you both shared was his first.

“Beauty, humor and brains? How could you go wrong?” You grin and it makes the amber in his eyes light up.

“Yeah,” He stares at you for a second longer than he’d have the guts to on a normal day before adding with a sigh “tell me about it.”

There was something different about the way he was looking at you tonight, and it makes your palms sweat. The fly away honey strands that stick out wildly by his ears look softer than normal too. Why do you want to find out? Clearing your throat, he raises his eyebrows up at you in an unphased offering of his attention.

“How are you doing big boy? You coughed quite a bit earlier.” His gaze narrows at the nickname letting you know that Steve was still very much in there.

“I think it’s perfectly normal for someone who hasn’t smoked before to cough when they take an accidental big hit,” he challenges, his sock covered toes finding yours again seemingly on their own, “and to answer your rudely asked question, I’m having a very nice time.”

He tries to keep his face straight but the smile that stretches a mile wide across yours makes him snort, the whites of his perfect teeth blinding in the dark when you wiggle your feet with his. 

“Good, I wouldn’t want Robin to come hunt me down or something.” You giggle leaning back letting your own high relax you into the couch.

Your eyes find Elvira’s generous cleavage on the screen as you try to ignore the feeling of Steve’s hand touching yours when he scratches his thigh and again when he leaves it there. 

“Robin won’t care, it’s Nance you gotta worry about. Worry wart Wheeler.” The nickname rolls off his tongue too easily and makes you both stop, letting the sounds of the towns committee trying to get Elvira out fill the silence before you both fall into a fit of laughter.

It was the kind of laughter that left hot tears streaming down your faces as you leaned even further into each other trying to catch your breath, only for one of you to mutter ‘worry wart wheeler’ when the other would finally be holding it together just to start all over again. By the time it was done, and the last few chuckles subsided, his head had found a new home on your shoulder with his forehead buried in the crook of your neck. 

The smell of his hairspray, and the soft flyaways you’d wondered about tickle your nose with his hair pressed to your cheek. Your socked feet stay tangled together as you try not to think about the size difference and that stupid saying you’d heard in middle school, and you definitely try not to think about how the tip of his pinky bumps into the side of your hand and how you don’t hesitate to hook it with yours.

Cozy. Too Cozy.

There’s a comfortable silence that falls between you both when your attention is finally brought back to the movie and you wonder if he’s having the same existential crisis as you at how good this feels. Eddie would never let you live it down. You and the hair?! Steve’s amused hum breaks you out of your train of thought and you already know you’ll have to watch this again when you aren’t so…distracted. 

Elvira and Bob are fighting with a monster she accidentally concocted inside of a pot instead of the casserole she was trying to make, and his finger tightens around yours when Bob almost loses the fight before he shakes against you with a chuckle. The longer the movie goes on, the more you start noticing Steve’s similarities to the hunk who stole the Mistress of the Dark’s affections, mumbling an ‘oh my god’.

God dammit, you have a crush on Steve Harrington.

The weed makes the realization floor you more than it probably would on a normal day, because you aren’t blind, anyone could tell you how handsome the former king of Hawkins is. But no one could have warned you about how soft he is, especially right now with sleepy eyes and messy hair that smells like pine and too much hair product. They wouldn’t be able to tell you how big of a dweeb he is, or as Robin affectionately calls him a ‘dingus’. They also don’t know how good of a friend he is to anyone who’s lucky to have him, like refusing to let you spend the night alone and watching a movie he knew you were excited about just because he’d actually listened when you talked about it for weeks, even saving you the first copy in Keith’s possession. 

Too bad you’ve barely retained any of it. 

As if he could hear your thoughts, you feel the slight turn of his head and the heavy weight of his stare on the side of your face. You try not to give yourself away and keep your gaze locked on the TV where the town has Elvira ready to be burned at the stake, and Bob has to rescue her. You have to resist the urge to roll your eyes, the universe just rubbing it in now. 

The side of your body he’s been leaning against starts to go numb, and no matter how much you want to stay exactly like this for whatever is left of the night, the need for circulation becomes too much. Your eyes flick down to his that haven’t haven’t wavered and that slow happy smile spreads across his pink lips when they meet. 

“You doing okay, honey.” The nickname he’s called you sarcastically in arguments sounds different when it’s wrapped in affection like this. 

“Not that I’m not enjoying -,” nerves make your throat close up and you have to clear them out before you finish, “not that I’m not enjoying this. My arm is just kind of going numb.”

Heat rises to your cheeks with embarrassment that you know is misplaced, and his eyes go wide when your words click. His reaction is fast despite the smoked joint that's snuffed out in an empty coke can on the table when he pulls away. The warmth of his body that’s invaded what feels like every inch of yours for the last hour is gone and the tightness in your chest worsens now that you miss it. Stupid crush. Stupid blood flow. 

“Oh my god, sorry, sorry, I was just so comfortable I wasn’t even thinking.” There’s stress in his tone that you haven’t heard all night and you decide that you hate it, he’s always stressed.

“Hey,” Your fingers curl around his bicep, and it flexes under the thick material of his sweater when his eyes meet yours, making you forget how to speak for a moment, “if we lay down on our sides we’ll - we’ll be more comfortable?” 

Your heart beats loud in your ears after you throw out your suggestion fully knowing there’s gotta be less than twenty minutes left of the movie at most. 

“Yeah, we can do that, like, big spoon?” He points to himself, with eyes as red as his cheeks before pointing to you with a small grin, “little spoon?”

You bite your bottom lip to contain the smile that threatens to break across your face, and it only makes his grow. 

“Yeah, just like that Harrington.” You giggle and you don’t miss the kind of glint in his eyes that sparkles because of it.

“Harrington? I thought I was big boy?” He mocks with fake offense, clumsily clambering back onto the couch letting himself fully extend.

His socked feet almost hang off the armrest but the problem is quickly solved when he turns onto his side leaving just enough room for you. One of his big hands patting the cushions in an invitation that makes you both laugh. 

“I thought you hated that nickname?” you tease, butterflies that never existed before erupting when he watches you with soft eyes climb into the spot next to him.

Your head lands in the crook of his elbow, amber and spice enveloping you while one of his long fingers curl around your hip not hesitating to pull you flush against his chest like he missed you. Maybe you weren’t the only one with a wandering mind tonight. 

“I don’t,” he agrees, lips coming up right next to your ear and you wonder if he can feel the shiver that runs down your spine, “but I kinda like it when you say it.”

Your body curls into him when you giggle with a throb in your core that makes your thighs press together. Steve chuckles, hooking his chin over your shoulder and his feet find yours at the end of the couch like they did under the blanket. Grabbing the throw off the floor, you drape it back over the two of you when you both finally get situated. 

He feels like he’s everywhere and it’s even harder to concentrate like this, especially when all his fingers are laced with yours now. The pad of his thumb rubs circles on the top of your hand, and you can feel the way his cheeks push up into a grin every time something makes him laugh. You spend the last bit of what’s left of the movie tangled up with him like this, and neither one of you try to move when the credits roll or when the screen goes black. 

The air buzzes with the kind of tension that’s laid dormant until there’s nothing to distract you from it anymore in the new silence. His breath fans hot across your neck while the strokes of his thumb get slower, adding a little more pressure to the muscle there, and feels good enough to have your eyes flutter closed. 

Maybe it’s the darkness of your living room, or the way the tip of his nose starts to trace the shell of your ear but you get the surge of confidence you need to turn around and face him. Steve doesn’t protest at all, letting you move with the kind of ease that makes you wonder if he was waiting for it all along. The small smile on his face tells you he absolutely was.

The new angle has you looking up at him from under your lashes, while his hand that held yours all night covers the middle of your back bringing you to his chest, getting you just as close as before. Your legs slot together while warm lights flicker across his face, they bounce and reflect off the lingering glaze that coats his eyes. Embers burning in a mossy ground. 

It starts to feel like Steve Harrington wants to kiss you, and you’d be lying if your said you didn’t want him too.

“Hi” You whisper, the corners of your lips pulling up because they can’t help it when he looks at you like this.

“Hi” the rich honey of his voice comes out low as he dips his head down to rest on his forearm right above yours.

The tips of your noses are dangerously close to touching, and you swear you hear his breath hitch when your feet find his again. Holding his gaze, you silently dare him to read your mind so you don’t have to say it out loud. You do it first.

“I had a lot of fun tonight.” You try not to think about how it sounds like something you’d say at the end of a date.

“Me too, I’m uh -“ a puff of hot air fans across your face when he laughs, and you notice his first sign of nerves all night, “I’m glad I didn’t make a fool of myself or anything.” 

“I have to say I’m impressed, you handled your first joint like a pro.” Your hands dare to run up his chest, plucking a piece of lint from the threads of his sweater. You feel the way the muscles in his stomach flex for you, and you have to bite back your smirk.

“I had good company is all.” He hums, the blunt ends of his nails scratching along the dip of your back, before whispering “Is this okay?”

Your eyes flutter shut with contentment you haven’t felt in a while, your whole body melting into his with a mumbled ‘mmmhm’

“Does Elvira have any other movies we could watch sometime?” His question makes your eyes pop open, and he tries to look as nonchalant as possible before adding, “you know just me and you.”

“Not a movie, per say but she has a show I like to watch where she does funny commentary on B rated horror films.” Your two feet trap one of his between them playfully to try and ease the nerves he shouldn’t have, earning you that megawatt smile that’s made half the ladies in Hawkins swoon. 

So, Steve Harrington wasn’t a mind reader.

“That sounds like fun,” He lets out a relieved sigh that you didn’t know he was holding, close enough now for your noses to touch.

“Yeah? You wanna come have fun with me?” You tease, but it comes out sounding like a double entendre that makes your skin heat up, especially when Steve closes his eyes and groans. The nails that scratch your back freeze as he tries regaining some semblance of self control. Licking his lips, he exhales a breath out of his nose before he speaks,

“Abso-“

His answer gets cut off by the sound of your front door slamming open, followed by the bellowing voice of the only other person who has keys to your apartment.

“I’ve come for boobies and I brought beer! Better late than never am I ri- Whoa, whoa, WHOA, what is going on here?” Eddie’s shock is quickly replaced by amusement, dimples poking deep holes in his cheeks when he grins wildly as he takes in the two of you on the couch.

What was going on here?

[oatmealwrites]

Catch Kira, NOT Feelings! Ch. 4

Previous part | Ch. 5

Series masterlist here

regular masterlist here

Tags : slooow burn, mentions of masturbation, Light is a manipulator ofc, Jealous! L, mentions of sex, Aizawa is cockblock, L is nervous and shy teehee, implied relationship/casual sex at end assumed, fake dating? (teehee im gettin frisky), 18+ , MDNI

Synopsis : You confide in Light after feeling embarassed from snapping at Ryuzaki last night. Realizing that your confidence in L is not as deep seeded as once priorly suspected, Light sees this as a chance to strengthen the relationship the two of you have. By the time Aoyama comes around, Ryuzaki has you working on CCTV duty with him and Aizawa. But when Aizawa comes marching in while you and L discuss the notebooks, L opens his mouth and says the first thing that comes to mind.

a/n are at the end!

Word Count: 7.2 k

~~~~~~~~~

The next morning on campus, time seems to move slower than it had in the weeks since you joined the investigation. Students walk huddled together between classes, and you watch an intense wind pick up from your classroom window.

“So we assume in article 32 of the proposed memorandum…”

Ugh.

It’s the same professor who insists on writing exclusively with chalk instead of projecting notes, droning on about another law dissection. You tap on your desk with impatience, waiting for the class to end so you can get one step closer to tonight’s meeting.

To be fair, you aren’t sure you want to even go at all; the embarrassment of last night comes rushing to your face. While yes, you had fully expected to receive the field work position in Aoyama, you didn’t mean to look like an entitled douchebag who was better than Matsuda. You barely slept last night; dreams of Ryuzaki calling you out for poor behavior left you tossing and turning in an anxious sweat.

Fuck it.

Slipping your actual cell phone from your pocket, you open the list of contacts and scroll until you see the familiar name. Peering up every so often to avoid looking so obvious, you draft a message.

You: Hey, can we meet before the meeting today? I wanna talk to you in private.

After hitting send, you slide the phone back in your front jeans pocket and slide deeper into your seat to get more comfortable. Spinning your pen in your hand, you watch the professor face the chalkboard and write down more uninterpretable phrases while continuing to lecture. 

Fatigue is heavy on your eyelids, occasionally dropping them a moment longer than you expect and startling yourself awake again. In the back of your mind, the anxious dreams about L reprimanding you feel more like a memory than a conjure of your late night imagination. Though the moment is incomplete, as if the conversation was barely formed and ended just as quickly as it began.

That’s not possible…

A vibrate emits in your pocket, and you drop the pen to your desk to fish around the tight pocket of your jeans and retrieve the device, sleep now in the back of your mind. With a glance up for safety, you lean down and peer at the screen with a new message plastered on the front.

Light: Sure! Coffee at the usual spot?

It’s probably wrong to casually meet up with someone who L suspects of being Kira, but it’s not like you were left with many choices in who to confide in. All your other friends were kept at an arm’s length for their own safety, believing you were simply back on the usual grind of working late nights with Mr. Yagami, assisting in paperwork. 

Running your thumb over the metal base of the bottom of your phone, you pause for a moment and consider cancelling; the weight of embarrassment tugs that feeling away. Even if you and L are suspicious of Light’s behavior, that’s all it really is at the end of the day. Right? Innocent until proven guilty?

Ensuring your professor is still consumed with his seminar, you draft a message of confirmation and hit send.

******

Light stands in front of the small coffee shop just off campus and scrolls through his recent texts absentmindedly until the sight of you walking drifts into his peripherals. The natural and suave smile he’s seemed to display a million times before flashes on his face, and he slides his cellphone into his pocket to give you his full attention like a gentleman. 

Cold wind pushes your hair in every direction, and you tighten the scarf around your neck to keep the breeze from drifting down the collar of your coat. Light gives a small chuckle at your messy hairstyle the wind has created and pivots to push open the cafe door, holding it for you.

“Nice to see you’re still a gentleman despite being a douche,” you grumble, walking inside and moving to your usual corner table by the window while combing through your hair. 

Light raises an eyebrow and follows you to his unofficial spot across from you at the table. “Which is it? Am I a douche bag or a gentleman?”

“Both.”

You grumble and look at the menu hanging above the order counter, despite already knowing what you’re gonna be ordering. Your companion sighs but the small smile on his face indicates he’s not really upset at the array of nicknames you’ve always used for him. 

The frown on your face lingers for a few moments too long and catches Light’s attention; he nudges your foot from under the table.

“I’m gonna go order our drinks. Let me know what’s bugging you when I get back, ok?”

His tone is soft and comforting, as if he genuinely cares about what seems to be bringing you down, and he leaves to recite the usual order to the employee at the counter. A melancholic feeling washes over you, and watching Light remember every detail about the way you take your coffee makes a guilty weight press on your shoulders.

It can’t be Light. Kira couldn’t be him…

A sigh escapes your nostrils when Light returns with two mugs and slides back into his seat while casually passing your beverage over. The ceramic warms your hands and Light blows steam away from the top before peering at you from above his drink.

“You ok? You’re usually more talkative.”

You fiddle with the handle and tap your nail against it. “I think I made myself look like an idiot.”

Light pauses for a moment and lets out a loud laugh before muffling it with the back of his hand. “What? You always–oh you’re serious.”

He pauses and leans forward, placing his mug down next to yours while leaning into the table and searching your face. The joke made you smile slightly, but you rolled your eyes regardless.

“Yea, I think I fucked up. When L announced I wasn’t going to Aoyama, I sulked on the couch like a child.”

Light looks gently at you and sighs, “Ah, I noticed you were pretty quiet the rest of the meeting after that was announced.”

You sink into your chair and rest your head into your palm, looking out the window apathetically as people walk by.

“Well,” he begins again, “Why did you want to go to Aoyama in the first place? It seems like you helped plan it, but why did you want to go?”

You shrug and look back at the man. “I don’t know… I thought maybe it would make sense to have someone our age go.”

“I mean, I’m going, so you’re right about that part.”

With a dejected groan, you push your hair back and out of your face, embarrassment still coursing through your veins. When you peer back at Light, his face is furrowed deep in concentration for a moment before noticing your glance and immediately softening. All the times you mentioned Kira, his entire persona shifted, but so far on this excursion, he’s been nothing but the man you’ve come to know and appreciate. 

“I’m just eager to catch Kira.” 

Light shifts slightly in his seat, but you continue on. “Maybe if I could get out there and catch them… it would clear your name quicker and we could go back to normal.” You laugh dryly and shake your head. “Damn, I’m starting to sound like your dad.”

Light watches the scene in front of him, his mind slowly working out the possibility that L had not entirely convinced you of his suspicions of himself, the possibility that you could still be on his side when all is said and done. Time freezes and watching your face genuinely glance at him as if he were human makes Light nearly burst out laughing. 

But he holds it in and time resumes.

“No, I’m really grateful to hear you say that actually.” Light’s face contorts with a vulnerable smile. “To be honest, the more Ryuzaki talks about me being a monster… the more I question myself about it.”

Shit. 

The thought had rarely crossed your mind, your selfish feelings about feeling so sad your friend might be a mass murder, when the accusation probably stung a million times more. Geez, you really need a therapist if you’re gonna stay in this field. 

“Oh, Light, I'm so sorry. I didn’t even consider how you fee–”

“–It’s ok.” He cuts you off. “Just knowing I have you on my side and not just Matsuda and my father, makes me feel a lot better.”

You pause and sigh, feeling better in your admission but now feeling a new form of guilt for reconsidering L’s theory about Kira’s identity. Why couldn’t L be suspicious of literally anybody else?

Light gives you time to mull over your emotions, and waits a few moments longer before reaching to casually grab his coffee mug and take a sip. 

“Anyways… I don’t think you were overreacting at all. If anyone deserved that position in Aoyama, it was you.”

You lift your head up and the affirmation of his words makes you feel better than you can admit. “Wait, really?”

“Yea, I mean you’re one of the smartest people on this task force! No offense to Matsuda, but either Ryuzaki has some weird plan we just don't know about yet, or he’s seriously undervaluing you.”

The compliment makes your cheeks blush and you look down to avoid his gaze in humility; you miss the way a smirk works its way onto his face from behind the mug. Light knows how rare it is for Ryuzaki to praise anyone, and it seems that habit provides the perfect opportunity to prove to you what a kind and sincere guy he really is. 

Looking at your mug for a moment, you take in the warped reflection and can’t help the way Light’s validation for your support makes you feel much better. Granted, he doesn’t know the argument you had gotten into last night with L, knowing the other members of the task force weren’t seeing you as a spoiled child provided relief. 

Before you can continue the conversation, there’s a vibrate from your bag of a cellphone message. Shit! Wasn’t the ringer turned off on that one…?

Light doesn’t notice the bulge in your pocket from under the table from your actual phone, but your panicked response gives him just enough of a hunch that it’s probably L who’s causing it. As you sheepishly apologize and move to dig the phone out of your bag, he places his coffee cup down abruptly.

“Why don’t we go to the meeting tonight together? If you’re still feeling uneasy, that is…”

The phone vibrating in your hands from inside your bags drops as you watch your companion make steady eye contact. Before you can question his evening class schedule, he leans forward while casually waving his hand.

“My last lecture is just a TA review for the upcoming exam; there’s no real need for me to attend.”

Pausing still, you watch the way he awkwardly smiles after the proposal and waits for your response. There’s enough time in advance that you can text Watari if you don't need a ride, and your next lecture conveniently ends at the same time as Light’s. There’s no good reason to oppose it. 

Nodding once and removing your hand from your bag, you position yourself to focus solely on the man across from you once again. 

“Alright, I’ll meet you at the university metro station at 5:15?”

~~~~~

The train ride to the hotel is crowded from the evening rush of employees getting off work, and Light makes sure to stand next to you to deter any creeps. Each stop on the line leaves more and more people filtering off until you can finally sit and enjoy small talk about your classes; though, the weight of knowing the Aoyama plan was only two days away still lingers in the back of your mind.

When the automatic doors open to your stop, Light leads the way off the platform and up the escalator to street view, navigating a way to the expensive hotel. The usual black mercedes parked in the lot, you both walk through the lobby and head for the elevators.

“Nervous?” Light asks, pushing the button for the floor.

“Kinda.”

The doors shut and he crosses his arms while leaning against the reflective walls. “Don’t be, ok? He’s an idiot not to pick you.”

The walk down the hallway is less tense, with Light cracking a few jokes about the professor you both happened to share for different classes, and you internally psych yourself up.

“Don’t get me started on how slow he speaks–”

Your voice rings out with slight laughter and the group inside is idly sipping coffee on their short break; Matsuda looks up first and grins at seeing the both of you entering the room.

“Hey! Light, you came here early with y/n? It’s nice to have everyone here together before it gets too late.”

Light shoots him a grin. “Yea, well my last class wasn’t too important.” He turns to you. “Plus it’s nice to have company on the commute over.”

You roll your eyes with a grin and shimmy off your coat for Watari to take and place on a hotel hanger from within the closet while Mr. Yagami sighs at the idea of his son skipping class. Placing your bag next to the couch in its usual spot, you move to take your unofficial position on the sofa.

Ryuzaki sits perched on his chair, forehead creasing as he takes in the scene before him. The laughter of your voice from the hallway, the way your companion had casually opened the front door for you, and the way your colleagues brightened up when you both entered a room left a disgusting taste in his mouth. 

He had planned on pulling you aside, as he did at the start of most meetings, to clear the air and properly apologize; the fact you walked in with company derailed said plan. Ryuzaki hates the sight in front of him and hates himself for feeling so easily swayed by meaningless emotions when there was a mass murderer on the loose. He’s nearly upset at the way you seem to be feeling better than he had anticipated given your argument the prior night, and he hates the way the other man seems so comfortable at your side. The smirk on Light’s face is nearly taunting.

With the group now sitting in their respective spots, the meeting officially resumes. Mr. Yagami stands to pass out a few documents before positioning himself in front of the screen, a bulleted list of the Aoyama plan on display.

“Alright everyone, now that you’re all here, let’s get on even ground. Light, you and Matsuda will set off for Aoyama on the 22nd early in the morning. Mogi and I will meet with the local police force for that precinct before setting up recon inside the Sakura TV offices.”

He pauses and holds up his papers before moving to the next bullet point. “y/n, Aizawa, and Ryuzaki will remain at the task force headquarters serving as communication between all three groups. You will be watching CCTV, monitoring hotlines, and working with the police department to convey information as we learn.”

Mr. Yagami pauses and looks up at the group. “Is that alright everyone? All caught up?”

The group nods in agreement while Mr. Yagami slides back into his seat and Ryuzaki leans forward to grab the remote. You notice the way his gaze meets yours for a moment, and you’re the first to break the contact in an awkward shudder.

Popping a few sugar cubes in his tea while Watari passes two warm cups of coffee to you and Light, L flips to the next screen. “In more detail, we’re going to need to document everything we see. If this is the event where the Second Kira makes their move, we can call off the advanced security in Shibuya and Tokyo Dome.”

You watch in focus as he flips through the screens. “Sakura TV may be monitored by either Kira from afar again; we’ll need everyone to be on high alert for another attack. For the team remaining in the task force headquarters, we’ll need someone to maintain contact with the security teams in each of the nearby buildings.”

“I’ll do it.” Aizawa leans forward with an intense look on his face. “I’m not gonna let what happened to Ukita repeat.”

Ryuzaki watches the man and turns to glance at you, confirming your own roles to monitor the CCTV alone, together. You swallow thickly and turn to the TV to watch the screen again; Light watches your reaction before glancing up at L. His hand rests on the upper portion of the couch and hovers just above your shoulders to give an affirmative squeeze, though the action is more directed at Ryuzaki than you.

L coughs slightly and peels his eyes off the horrid sight and back to the plan about how they were going to catch Kira. “That’s fine, Aizawa. Anyways, we need to finalize the last few details before we set this in motion; nothing should be left unsaid among the group.”

Except the notebooks. With one glance in L’s direction, he meets your gaze and blinks slowly. A silent communication you’ve shared a million times before, though Ryuzaki seems to have another emotion simmering beneath. 

Before you can raise an eyebrow at him, Mogi leans forward. “The DNA analysis is set to be ready for retrieval in the following days. Assuming nothing drastic happens between then and now, I can be the one to bring it back to the task force.”

L peels his eyes off yours and gives Mogi a nod of approval before turning back to the TV. “Alright, back to Aoyama. I’d like you to break into groups to sort out the following: walking route for Matsuda and Light to take, a finalized description of a potential Second Kira, and the ending call time at the conclusion of the day.” Ryuzaki stirs a metal spoon in his teacup and looks between everyone. “Does that sound ok?”

A muffled ‘yes’ rings from the living room and you all split off to make the last minute adjustments. Mogi and Matsdua draft up varying descriptions based on L’s theory of a younger audience, Mr. Yagami and Aizawa compare notes on when to call off the investigation based on a variety of factors, and you sit beside Light in the kitchen area making a list of places to walk by.

The map is already marked up from you and Ryuzaki’s late evenings constructing the plan, and you point out several red circles on the paper. 

“This street has a lot of taller buildings, so make sure you both have a baseball hat or sunglasses on to hide your face; just in case one of the… Kiras(?) happens to be on a high floor.”

Light nods and traces another street with his finger; pausing when it lands on a circle. “What about this?”

“Hmm? Oh, that’s a popular cafe spot with local students and young professionals. They serve cute desserts and drinks that look good in photos.”

Light places his hand under his chin and nods in agreement; it was the type of place a young woman would most likely hang around. The more you explained the carefully planned out walking path, the more grateful Light was for the ego Ryuzaki had.

Here you sit, brilliantly going over likely places for the Second Kira to be lingering at in excellent detail, while L had simply placed you on CCTV duty. It was almost pitiful how easy Ryuzaki had made it for Light to become someone you could confide in. 

Bringing his hand to the map once more, Light points out a coffee shop that wasn’t circled, but he’s definitely heard you mention before. 

“What about here?”

“There? It’s a bit out of the way…”

Light doesn’t miss the way your eyes had lit up slightly when he pointed it out, and leans down into your ear with a hushed tone. “I’ll try to sneak over at some point and grab you a pastry.”

Your eyes shoot up at him before ducking back down to act as inconspicuous as possible. “That’s a bad idea. Any stray movement from the plan will cause mayhem.”

Light sighs and leans back in his chair. “Ah, I guess you’re right. Maybe when it’s all over, we can go together then.”

Once again, the implication is meant for Ryuzaki’s eavesdropping ears while you continue running your hand along the map. 

“Oh, yea… that would be fun.”

Ryuzaki’s gaze burns a hole in the side of Light’s head as you continue explaining the final few street paths to your friend. He doesn’t feel any better than he did last night: the dirty feeling of reprimanding you for no reason and then proceeding to masturbate to your image left him unable to concentrate. 

Ryuzaki had planned to apologize properly when you arrived after class, pull you aside while the others took their break, and offer you a real explanation for his poor words. When Light had showed up at your side with that same condescending look on his face, L couldn’t help but feel there was more than Kira he was currently chasing after. The murmuring of the group pulls him from his thoughts, and he motions for Watari to set into motion the other plan regarding the notebooks. With one last breath, he continues flipping through the documents for the plan you both had set aside in secret, and tries to ignore the ugly jealous feeling that’s sitting heavy in his gut.

The groups work in tandem for another 90 minutes before Mogi stands and stretches side to side. Matsuda's stomach lets out an awkward growl and he sheepishly looks around the room; Aizawa stands with a pack of cigarettes in his hand.

“Alright, maybe a quick 15 minute break everyone?” Mr. Yagami proposes while standing up, his gaze locked on Ryuzaki for permission. 

The men hold their breath, half expecting the request to be denied, but Ryuzaki stands up and nods once while placing the manila folder in his hands onto the coffee table.

“Sure, just be back here on time.”

A sigh of relief, the group scatters out of the room, though Light lingers for an extra moment. You dig through your bag, looking for a phone charger, and pause when you feel the atmosphere of the room completely shift. Glancing upwards, you notice Light and L staring at each other from across the coffee table. 

“You don’t want to take a break, Light? I figured after a long day of classes, you must be exhausted.” Ryuzaki asks without blinking.

“They weren’t too hard. Besides, I’m waiting for y/n.”

Feeling the cable, you pull it out of your bag and stand up, ready to join the conversation; the two men continue speaking as if you’re not in the room.

“I see, well that’s unfortunate because I actually need to speak with her. So it’s better you take this time off alone.”

Light doesn’t move. “Oh really, Ryuzaki? I don’t see what you two need to speak about that the rest of the group can’t hear as well.”

You move towards the two of them, ready to question what the hell they were actually talking about, before Mr. Yagami comes back into the room. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt you two. Light, I’d like to call your mother and Sayu before they head to bed. Come say goodnight.”

Light blinks once at his father and the icy atmosphere melts slightly as he plasters on a grin and walks towards the suite door.

“Of course, Dad! I wouldn’t want to keep them up later than they’ve already been.”

As if the conversation between him and L had never happened, Light casually walks out of the room to join his father in the hallway for a conversation. You watch the door shut and suddenly feel vulnerable when you turn and notice Ryuzaki staring.

Swallowing awkwardly, you turn towards a wall outlet and plug in your charger while L stands motionless behind the coffee table still. Ensuring it’s charging, you place your phone on the carpet and rise to exit as well, before he calls out to you.

“I do want to speak with you, y/n. If that’s ok.”

Pausing, slight discomfort at your outburst from last night causes your anxiety to swell; you spin around and nod.

“Yea, that’s fine… are we going to your room again…?”

L blinks and coughs slightly. “Yes, that would be best for increased privacy.”

When you both enter the hotel bedroom and shut the door, Ryuzaki can’t help the disgust that’s sitting heavy in his gut. Watching you lean against the mattress he was pleasuring himself on while having visions of you leaves him awkwardly creating as much distance as possible.

The analog clock that sits on the wall continues ticking away absentmindedly, while the moonlight pouring in from the windows illuminates you both in a cool glow. The silence and distance between you both leaves you crossing your arms in slight impatience.

Before you can ask why he called you in here, L awkwardly scratches his cheek with his index finger and catches your eye.

“I wanted to apologize properly. My tone may have come off as harsh, and I’m sorry if it made you feel belittled.”

What?

Your eyes widen slightly; fully expecting him to call you in here for poor behavior and not to apologize for simply relaying your disappointing position in the plan. At this point, you’re convinced the L that detectives spoke about at the NPA meetings was somebody else, and not the man in front of you.

Eyes lingering on his desk and hand now pulling at strands of hair on the back of his head, Ryuzaki shifts his weight from leg to leg waiting for your response. 

“O-Oh… you don’t have to do all that. I should’ve acted more maturely.” You take a breath and sink into yourself a bit. “I mean you’re the world famous detective here… I trust you and your decisions.”

L peels his eyes off his messy desk and lingers on your figure sitting on the same sheets he had ruined not even 24 hours ago. Not only were you apologizing for a completely valid reaction, but you were also admitting your utmost respect and trust in him while sitting on the same bed he jerked off to you in. If karma exists, then this moment would be proof because Ryuzaki only feels ten times worse than before. 

He sighs and moves forward. “That’s alright; it still doesn’t excuse my poor communication skills.” With a slight pause, he scratches his left foot with the right one. “I also wanted to apologize for my phone call late last night. I should’ve waited until today to explain things.”

You raise an eyebrow. He called? The sound of his voice wasn’t a dream?

“I didn’t even realize you had called. I’m sorry– I must’ve been pretty out of it when I answered.”

L swallows and fights the shiver running down his spine; he needed to end this conversation quickly, especially considering it’s happening in this room.

He waves his hand slightly. “No, it’s alright. That’s all I wanted to speak about anyways.”

While you still wanted better reasoning as to why you weren’t selected for Aoyama, an apology from L was much more than you could ever ask for. It was your behavior that had caused the argument in the first place, and him apologizing to you still left an uneasy feeling.

Ryuzaki stands in front of where you lean against the mattress and flicks his eyes to the door, waiting for the sign that it's ok to re-enter the hotel main room and continue the meeting. He holds himself with insecurity and self-doubt.

He must still feel bad about snapping…

“Let’s just call everything even, yea?” You stand and walk over to him, raising your hand. “Friends?”

L pauses and widens his eyes in shock; his hand falls from where it was previously playing with his hair and drops to his side. Friends? There are a million thoughts racing through his mind in this moment, the top two primarily being:

 1. Friend!

& 

 2. Friends probably don’t masturbate to thoughts of each other. 

Realizing he’s taking too long to answer, Ryuzaki shoots his hand out to connect with yours. “Y-Yea, friends.”

You take a mental note of how sweaty his palms are while he commits to memory the smoothness of your skin. Both of your hands fall and you give him a genuine grin, grateful for dissolved tension in the room.

Ryuzaki glances at his hand momentarily before keeping his gaze on your face. “I’ve never really had friends before… but I’m glad we can be them.”

A tug at your heart strings; it made sense given the reclusive need for a detective involved in cases as risky as the Kira one. While you move to exit the bedroom, L holds the door open and watches the way you move to your phone charging on the floor.

While he still feels utterly repulsed at his own actions the night before, and while he’s certain friends don’t spend time imagining banging each other, he’s happy you consider him one. 

****** 

May 22 – Aoyama Plan

Everything has been going to plan, which is a miracle considering the lack of luck stopping Kira in previous attempts. Light had brought a handful of university students with him to cover for the slight age gap between him and Matsuda, which also allowed for additional safety considering the name and face Kira needs. Mr. Yagami and Mogi were able to successfully set up operations at Sakura TV: one monitored the phone lines while the other stayed with the camera crew filming live to ensure everything was running smoothly. Aizawa, you, and L sit in a bigger rented out building with a variety of rooms; each has TVs and monitors to cover every angle of Aoyama.

Aizawa walks into the room you and L sit in. You’re tapping through a variety of buttons to change the camera angle and Aizawa holds up a few documents while Ryuzaki pauses to take a sip of extremely sweet hot tea. 

“I’ve got some reports from the security in the surrounding buildings.” He places the manilla folder on the desk with a sigh. “Nothing suspicious to report.”

You purse your lips and move to grab the document. “Is it bad I feel frustrated that there's no Kira movement? It would be easier if they would do something ....”

Ryuzaki looks over your shoulder at the papers before returning his gaze to the TV, spoon resting between his teeth. “No need to feel strange, it would be easy for them to make an appearance. Too easy though…”

A breath escapes your lips and you reach forward to slide through the next set of camera angles, waiting for something to happen. Aizawa leans between both of your seats and rests his palms on the cool desk you sit in front of to glance at the screen.

“What’s the plan if Kira doesn’t show? We do all of this again for Shibuya and Tokyo Dome?”

You look to give L a quick glance that he returns in understanding.

Ryuzaki sits back in his chair casually. “No need to go all out for those events; we’re certain Kira will make some sort of contact today.”

Aizawa raises an eyebrow and doesn’t miss the wording. “We? You two have already worked this out without telling the rest of the group?”

You pivot and look up at the man who’s peering at you both with a pissed off expression. “We just discussed it when you were getting the forwarded documents from security. It’s most likely that the Second Kira will make a move during the least emphasized date to retain the most cover.”

L watches you through the corner of his eye as you continue explaining. “Besides, this invitation was meant for the original Kira… so even if it seems like nothing happened to us, there’s a high chance the intended exchange between the two of them has already happened.”

Aizawa pauses and shuts his eyes slightly; he sighs and returns to his upright standing position, bringing a hand to his chin. “Yea… that makes sense. Ryuzaki, should I relay this to the other teams?”

L peels his eyes off your face with a slight pink tinge on his ears and turns to the man. “Yes, that would be helpful. Also, alert Light and Matsuda to keep their hats and sunglasses on; the next few blocks have a lot of overhead balconies where they could be watched.”

Aizawa nods his head and pulls his tie back slightly to get a breath of air; his glance lingers on the screens for an additional moment before turning around.

Heading for the door he gives a wave without turning around. “Alright, I’ll be back in a few”

You turn back to flip through the monitors, laughing slightly when one angle shows Matsuda spilling his water bottle on his chest; Ryuzaki waits in silence for the click of the door before standing up and running to lock it.

You spin around in your chair and raise an eyebrow. “What are you–”

“Watch the restaurant and cafe windows.”

Ryuzaki slips back into his chair and spins to reface the monitors, ignoring the surprise and skepticism on your face; without looking down, he pops a few extra sugar cubes into his teacup.

You reluctantly spin back around and pan through a few camera angles before pausing on the front entrance of a cafe facing the street. Most cafes and restaurants refused complete CCTV access inside their businesses, though street view was allowed. 

Glancing at the screen in front of you, it appears to be a normal scene of people sitting at the window, sipping on coffee while customers walk in and out of the front door.

You raise an eyebrow and turn to L. “What are we looking for– the windows?”

Ryuzaki peels his eyes off the screen as realization finally seems to wash over you. If ‘notebooks’ are really the clue here… both Kiras would have no need to survey the streets from sky scrapers– they could sit in the window of a cafe as inconspicuous as possible.

“You understand, right? The original or Second Kira can very well be any one of these people.”

You lean closer to L, still working out some of the logistics. “So anyone with a journal or agenda could also fall into that category.”

“Exactly, and because we only have street view–”

“We have to watch the people who are purposely seated with a view of the road!”

The excitement of such a discovery has you ignoring the close proximity between you both until there’s a slight lull in the conversation. His lips are so close to yours that you can smell the English Breakfast tea on his breath, and he gets wafts of the delicious shampoo scent you always use. 

Heat rises to your cheeks and you swear his eyes dip to your lips more than once. Kira! We’re trying to catch Kira! …. 

Ryuzaki doesn’t break the distance when he speaks again. “We have to keep this a secret a bit longer though...until I find concrete evidence…”

“Right… of course.”

Your mind is fuzzy when you can almost feel yourself leaning in, even more so when it seems like Ryuzaki is mirroring that same motion. Any rational thought is seeping out of your mind as you tilt your head just slightly to make room; the feeling of his hair now tickling your cheeks leaves your eyelids fluttering shut.

What am I doing–?

BANG!

You snap your head back and your eyes shoot towards the door you forgot L had locked. Ryuzaki remains in the same leaned position for a moment longer, his brain taking an extra moment to process what was just about to happen as he blinks in shock.

Taking a short breath, you jump when there’s several more pounds at the door and Aizawa’s voice can be heard booming from the other side of the door.

“Why the hell is this shit locked?! What’s going on?!”

Scrambling out of your chair, Ryuzaki brings his finger to his lips to indicate keeping quiet on your break through; you take a breath and unlock the door just to have Aizawa push it open. You stumble backwards for a second while the very pissed off man storms into the room with a stack of papers in his hand. 

“Care to explain why the door was fucking locked?” He crosses his arms and looks between the both of you.

The tension leaves you backing up until your legs hit the back of your chair, and Ryuzaki looks up at the man silently. 

Aizawa scans your face and then L’s before glancing at the screen. “Don’t tell me…you’re plotting against Light again? Why can you never make a decision without referring to the rest of the group?!”

Immediately, Ryuzaki shoots his hand up in front of Aizawa’s face, blocking the view of the TV screen.

“We were kissing!”

…

A pin could drop a million miles away and you would all be able to hear it. Slowly, you turn your head to Ryuzaki with eyes wide open in horror and confusion.

WHAT?

Aizawa looks between you both in complete shock while you stand frozen in mortification at the outburst. Putting his hand down, Ryuzaki rises to his feet and stands beside you, his position still covering the view of the TV from Aizawa.

He catches the man’s eyes and continues. “We were taking advantage of the dark room and couldn’t control ourselves or our bodies..” He takes the nail of his thumb between his teeth for a moment. “Who knows how far we would’ve gone if you hadn’t stopped us.”

Time passes infinitely slower than any other time in history as Aizawa hangs on to every word in shock and disgust. He takes a few breaths, his eyebrows still high on his forehead from shock, before turning to face you.

You can tell he’s curious as to why Ryuzaki is the only one talking, and swallowing any pride you have left, you wrap your arms around L’s bicep. Clutching him a bit closer, you bring your bodies to jointly cover the view of the main monitor.

“Yep! I’m sorry for the interruption… I just can’t keep my hands to myself when I’m around him!”

Aizawa scans your face, looking borderline concerned and leans down to whisper, “he’s your type…?”

The look on his face is one similar urging you to blink twice if you need to be rescued; Ryuzaki wraps his arm around your waist and pulls your head onto his shoulder.

He pivots and keeps you tucked into him. “Yes, we are simply made for each other; so back off because she’s taken!”

It looks so cringey and forced, the way you and Ryuzaki are awkwardly clawing at each other like high school virgins in the world’s worst school play. Aizawa tosses the documents on the desk before backing away slowly and raising his hands in defense; his face is painted ghastly pale. 

You notice the way Ryuzaki’s finger tips are digging into your hips and the sharpness of his shoulder bone that digs into the flesh of your cheek; he’s trembling at the contact.

Taking a breath, you lift your head up slightly. “Please don’t tell anyone else on the team though. We want to keep it a secret…”

Aizawa takes a few deep breaths and continues walking backwards towards the door, nearly stumbling over a few cardboard boxes. He raises his hand to wave you off and uses the other to pinch the bridge of his nose in stress.

“Yea, I’ll keep the whole thing a secret… I don’t even want to image it–”

You silently wish for death at the mention of it– aka the both of you fucking and all your coworkers knowing about it– while Aizawa shudders and backs up into the door, awkwardly reaching for the knob before slipping out through a crack. As if finally snapping back into reality, Ryuzaki stands up a bit straighter to yell out before the door is completely shut.

“You got it! We’ll keep our ministrations to ourselves… S-So make sure you knock next time!”

You shove an elbow into L’s ribcage, leaving his grasp on your hips weak enough to slip out of his pull; Aizawa throws a ‘thumbs up’ through the crack before pulling the door shut. Once his footsteps disappear, you take a full step away from Ryuzaki and let out all the air that was lingering in your lungs. 

When you connect your eyes with him, his cheeks are red and his eyes are scanning your face in a desperate search to read your mind. You scratch the back of your neck before idly spinning your office chair from hand to hand.

“Sorry for that. It was the first thing I thought of that seemed believable.”

You pause and look up at him before looking back down and spinning the chair one more time. Believable?

With a shrug, you spin it to face yourself and sink into the chair, ready to resume work and not wanting to discuss what the hell just happened until your death bed. Ryuzaki stays hovering above you for a few moments before sitting back down and awkwardly stirring his tea once again.

The atmosphere is thick; despite L just apologizing for the scenario, neither one of you wants to go over what just happened. Especially what almost happened before Aizawa knocked on the door. 

You frown and internally scream at yourself for your bizarre behavior the past few days. First, you threw a fit over not getting field work, and now you were about to lean in and kiss your boss?? Of course, the fact that one of your coworkers thinks that everytime you and Ryuzaki are left alone it means you’re making out or banging doesn’t help you feel any better either.

Silently wishing for Kira’s swift arrest, because it meant you could take a vacation, you glance over to the man next to you. Despite staring at the screen with intense focus, his hands are still slightly trembling from the contact you just shared. Pausing slightly, you spin in your chair to face him fully.

“You ok? I don’t think Aizawa will tell anyone, but.. I mean it’s not the end of the world if the task force thinks..” Even saying the words out loud makes your cheeks warm. Thinks that you and I are casually having sex despite simultaneously working together to catch Kira. 

Ryuzaki peels his eyes off the screen and faces you; his hand drops the spoon against the side of the teacup.

“Oh, yes. We do have many other things that take priority.” He takes a moment to scan your face before awkwardly spinning back to face the screen. You swallow thickly, rethinking all of your life choices that have led to this moment while Ryuzaki continues. “Though we have to be prepared to keep up the act in case Aizawa does mention it… At least until we tell the group about the notebooks.”

a/n: TY for all your support on this series, it fr makes me so happy that so many people like this!! <33

this update took a bit longer bc i got norovirus :-( [shit was ASS don't get it, stay healthy]

anyways~ this is the longest chapter to date so far I think! and yes, it's a slowburn but i PROMISE things will continue to heat up hehe

as always: like/comments/reblogs are greatly appreciated & lmk if you wanna join the tag list!

-oatmeal

tags: @lechatparle24 @irissfoot @iheteeaifs @automaticpatroltragedy @greenapplesaucepi @thesimpnovao

[centaurianthropology]

Victor Frankenstein (1957): The Could-Have-Been Tumblr Sexyman

Tonight I watched 'The Curse of Frankenstein', the first of the Hammer Horror Frankenstein series, and all I could think was that if this film had come out more recently than the late 1950s, Victor Frankenstein (Peter Cushing) would have been the absolute lust object of the best and most unhinged Tumblr-goers.

Look at this man. He is elegant, he has a thousand great Victorian-era outfits. He has cheekbones for days and pretty blue eyes. He's tall and thin as a rail. He exudes a palpable aura of superiority and bitchiness at all times.

GIF Credit: @doctor-frankenstoned

GIF credit: @docandbat

GIF credit: @theolikeworld

But all this gentlemanliness is a facade, barely covering the feral wet-possum-man hidden underneath. He's twitchy, he's weird. He has absolutely crazy blue eyes. He's obsessed with SCIENCE.

GIF credit: @petercushings

GIF credit: @jihyo-x

He's committed unspeakable crimes! So many crimes, and is constantly one scene away from being roughed up (mostly choked, because I swear the director of this movie had a thing about Peter Cushing getting choked by Christopher Lee ... it happens a lot).

GIF credit: @theolikeworld

GIF credit: @petercushings

GIF credit: @atomic-chronoscaph

He is absolutely, undeniably a freak and a monsterfucker.

He would be cancelled a thousand times. He is the absolute worst. A terrible human being. He would be so many people's Problematic Fave(TM). He would have so many Tumblr-goers cheering on his crimes and hoping he gets worse. And he would! For multiple slutty, slutty sequels.

GIF credit: @lonelyzarquon

GIF credit: @lonelyzarquon

And he was played by a genuinely sweet actor who adored his wife, liked painting miniatures, and was very open about being best friends for life with his looming, 6'5" oft-costar (who another large chunk of Tumblr would be absolutely feral about, but that's another story for another day).

Truly one of the great losses of the passage of time (and the fact that the Hammer Horror flicks really do take a certain sort of taste to actually enjoy), is that Peter Cushing's Frankenstein doesn't get his moment as the Tumblr It Girl of some fabulously-dressed, unhinged, crime-filled, bitchy Halloween season.

[phoenixtsukino]

Rotten Tomatoes told us the 100 best shows on @netflix to watch.

Guess what @netflix original placed at #50:

Guess what @netflix originals it beat:

#54 - Stranger Things 91% *renewed for 5th and final season*

#60 - The Fall of the House of Usher 90% *limited series*

#64 - All of Us Are Dead 89% *renewed for 2 more seasons*

#65 - The Sandman 88% *renewed for a 2nd season*

#68 - The Haunting of Bly Manor 88% *limited series*

#70 - Midnight Mass 87% *limited series*

#76 - The Midnight Club 86% *canceled after 1 season*

#79 - One Piece 85% *renewed for a 2nd season*

#81 - Bridgerton 84% *renewed for 4th season*

#88 - Black Mirror 83% *renewed for 7th season*

#93 - Bodies 82% *limited series*

#95 - The Crown 81% *complete*

#99 - The Witcher 80% *getting 2 more seasons than ending*

Some non-original shows it beat: House, The Flash, How to Get Away With Murder, Monk, A Discovery of Witches, Grey's Anatomy, and Into the Badlands.

You know what shows aren't even on the list but were renewed for another season: Emily in Paris and Wednesday(and I love Wednesday).

Emily in Paris has 3 seasons and is getting a 4th but it got 62% from critics and 48% from audiences.

@netflix Dead Boy Detectives deserves to be renewed!

I want to make it clear that I am in no way shitting on any of these shows or saying that none of them deserved to be renewed. What I am saying is that Netflix are being hypocrites.

[positivexcellence]

Jared Padalecki Joins ‘Fire Country’ For Guest Arc That Could Lead To New Franchise Offshoot

EXCLUSIVE: Jared Padalecki is returning to series television. The former Supernatural star, coming off a four-season run as the lead of Walker, has been tapped for a three-episode arc on the upcoming third season of CBS‘ hit drama series Fire Country, headlined and executive produced by Max Thieriot.

He will play Camden, a SoCal firefighter and maverick with a surfer swagger who is a force to be reckoned with and immediately recognizes Bode’s (Thieriot) raw talent.

The deal with Fire Country producer CBS Studios is strictly for the recurring role, sources said. Given Padalecki’s status as a popular leading man with two hit series under his belt, I hear there is a possibility for the guest stint to lead to a new spinoff headlined by him that would join the upcoming Sheriff Country.

Sources stress that the idea is still in its nascent stages. And similarly to the NCIS franchise, which originated on CBS and has generated four domestic offshoots on the network but has also expanded into streaming with the latest spinoff, NCIS: Tony & Ziva (as well as the streaming/broadcast NCIS: Sydney), a new Fire Country spinoff could be for broadcast or streaming. Reps for CBS and CBS Studios declined comment.

Fire Country, which was the most watched new broadcast series in its freshman season, was quickly identified by the CBS leadership as a potential franchise anchor that could spawn multiple spinoffs.

“We are focused on mass-appeal franchises,” CBS President and CEO George Cheeks said in June 2023. “This season’s number one show was Fire Country, which completely lends itself to building out a whole new universe… It became very clear that not only was the show special, it really felt like this could be a great example of us building together a franchise from scratch.”

The first Fire Country spinoff, the Morena Baccarin-starring Sheriff Country, which started off as a planted spinoff episode on the mothership series this past season, was recently picked up to series for 2025-26.

Keeping Padalecki in the fold has been a priority for CBS Studios following the end of its CW drama Walker, on which he was star and executive producer, leading to creating the opportunity for him on Fire Country. Walker was canceled for financial reasons despite being the network’s most watched series.

Fire Country averages more than 10 million viewers per episode in multi-platform viewing. (Live+35-day on Paramount + and CBS TVE)

Season 1 became available on Netflix in the US August 1 and has already reached #3 in the streamer’s daily rankings. This is an additional domestic streaming window for Fire Country whose first two seasons are on Paramount+. It is designed to give the show additional exposure ahead of its Oct. 18 Season 3 premiere on CBS.

From creators and executive producers Tony Phelan, Joan Rater and Thieriot, inspired by Thieriot’s experiences growing up in Northern California, the series follows Bode Donovan (Thieriot), a young convict seeking redemption and a shortened prison sentence by joining a prison release firefighting program in Northern California, which sends him back to his hometown.

Billy Burke, Kevin Alejandro, Diane Farr, Stephanie Arcila, Jordan Calloway and Jules Latimer also star. Tia Napolitano, who also serves as showrunner, executive produces alongside Jerry Bruckheimer and KristieAnne Reed of Jerry Bruckheimer Television.

Since the end of Walker, Padalecki also has discussed a role on the upcoming fifth and final season of Prime Video’s The Boys, developed and executive produced by Supernatural creator Eric Kripke. He is repped by UTA, Industry Entertainment and Fuller Law.

deadline

[startrekprodigyfan]

Okay, this is going out to the die-hard old-school Trekkies. And I’m going to be including spoilers because at this point if you haven’t been watching Prodigy yet, this is the only other way I know how to convince you to start! And even seeing spoilers won’t give you any context to the how or why they’re there, so that should hopefully give you incentive to watch the show!

For starters, what is Prodigy? Star Trek Prodigy is a 3D animated Nickelodeon show meant to introduce kids to the world of Star Trek. But don’t let the “kids show” title fool you, this is a show for ALL ages and even the most die-hard Trekkie will find something about it to enjoy.

The story centers around a group of alien kids who have been imprisoned on a mining asteroid as they stumble upon an abandoned Federation Starship and use it to escape with the hopes of one day joining Starfleet.

Are you happy that Star Trek is back but haven’t been excited or jazzed much about some of the recent shows? Then please watch Star Trek Prodigy! Here’s a visual list of things to expect to appease your continuity and cannon loving hearts:

1) The Enterprise D bridge on the holodeck, alongside Uhura, Odo, Doctor Crusher, Scotty, and Spock (using original legacy voice clips for many of the characters too)

2) The original Enterprise (non-Strange New Worlds) bridge!

3) An explanation for what happened to the original Galileo shuttle craft from the TOS series.

4) Both the original Vice Admiral Janeway and the new Hologram Janeway.

5) Wesley Crusher!

6) The Voyager-A!

7) Chakotay and the Holographic Doctor!

8) Original TNG (pre-First Contact) style Borg!

9) Legacy side characters returning such as The Outrageous Okona, voiced by the original actor Bill Campbell!

Currently the show is on Netflix. There are two seasons, 20 episodes each season that run around 24-30 mins long each for a grand total of a whopping 40 episodes! And there’s hopes that if Netflix thinks the show is worthy a 3rd season could be ordered. But only if you watch it now and get those ratings and viewership numbers up!

Please! Prodigy needs the help! Paramount+ canceled the show and yanked it from streaming before season 2 could even air (it had already been completed too)! Through a grass-roots campaign fans were able to get Netflix to pick it up and release the second season! Without Netflix this show would’ve just disappeared!

So please… if you love old school Trek and just want to exist in this world, you’re going to love Prodigy! And trust me, even those spoilers I showcased don’t even begin to scratch the surface of what this show has to offer!