#I recently updated one of them for the story I’m rewriting and I can’t wait for the world to see both

[starlightandetherealshadows]

Hey wonderful author I’m sorry I didn’t quiet understand the situation that would be if my MC were to romance Z so like would Z not be okay being monogamous or would that only involve V’s route?

(Ofc I don’t hate the entire poly route!! Just wanted to see if my MC will be able to have Z for themselves)

Def not trying to add more angs in the story for V🫡 ||hides evil laughter|| can’t wait to meet everyone.

Hi honeybee! 🦋ꦿ

So I recently decided to lock V and Z's routes together in a poly route, so the two of them are not romanceable monogamously.

However....I'm given it more thought and I've decided to add a variance to the poly route.

V/Z/MC POLY ROUTE UPDATE 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

How do you like your angst? Charred? Raw? Medium-well? Would you like it deep-fried or grilled? Want it on ice? Salt on the rim? Save some room for dessert, of course.

As of now, there will be two ways to initiate the polyamorous relationship between V, Z and MC.

Or, as I've decided to call them, Angst and More Angst.

Angsty Route: As I've described before, you will lock in your romance with V first. MC can pretend you don't know that V is in love with Z, or you can try to bring it up. Either way, V will deny it, and the two of you can commit to a relationship (or something similar) You can be flirtatious with Z the whole time, but since they know you're dating V, Z will "reject" your advances for a while. MC will have to put in the work to get V to accept and admit they have feelings for Zero. After that, the two of you can together go to Zero and initiate the relationship. This is all very simplified, but this is what I have so far for this route (the less messy but still angsty one)

More Angsty Route: You will lock in your romance with V, but you two will not be dating. It will be casual hooking up, or, if your MC is not interested in intimacy, it will be flirtations and maybe some making out. On this route, Zero will accept and reciprocate MC's advances. However, V...V will be angsting watching MC put the moves on Zero. It will cause a strain on V and MC's relationship, as V is jealous that MC can enter their lives and so easily "take" Zero from them. V can't articulate why they're so upset, so it comes out as anger (and they practically bleed pining). On this route, MC can use V's jealousy and their stubbornness to ~gently~ push V into admitting that they're in love with Zero, and the three of you will develop a poly relationship. (Again, this is simplified, but this route is more messy drama and more angst, a bit less healthy than the other one)

All of this is subject to change, as I write and rewrite and reconsider and contemplate.

I hope this change in variation can account for all sorts of MC's!!! I'll let MC have some red flags as a lil treat.

Quick show of hands, if you plan to romance V and Z in the poly, which of these two routes would you choose?

I'm just curious! Okay i won't make this too long, so thank you lovely for letting me ramble and go on a whole separate discussion.

Hope you've had a good start to your week!! ｡･:*˚:✧｡

All my love,

Cheye

[substituted-shinigami]

“Quick” Blog/Writing/Art Update: May/June 2023

Hello everyone! Thank you for your patience! Sorry, it’s been awhile, but I do hope to be back soon! I’ve had a good long rest from the stresses of social media (I wish I could also say life as well, but I’ve learned it does what it wants!), and I hope to be at least semi active again by the time Bleach is back in early July! Thanks again for your patience! 🥰

Now unfortunately when I say semi-active, I really do mean semi-active. I won’t go into detail about my real life stuff, but it causes me enough stress that I’ve realized I can’t deal with it and social media stress at the same time. So I probably won’t be on here as often, and will be posting even less, but I want you all to know that I still love all y’alls stuff and will look at it when I can! I took a peek just recently to try and get back into the groove (the app has really changed in the last few months, huh?) and saw you all were talking about Soul Society Trains awhile back, and I’m so sorry I missed it because OMIGOSH DO I WANT IT TO BE CANON! Like can you imagine if Squad 12 designed one?! It would be a horror show, with a bunch of little feet and eyes and horns and UGH! Or maybe, due to how Soul Society is layed out, it’s a subway instead! Maybe it's an immortal mole creature that travels underground on some well known migratory route, and if you’re knowledgeable and crazy enough, you can just grab its fur and hold on tight to get where you need to go faster! Where was I going with this? Oh, right! You all are great, and I hope to read more of your ideas, and headcanons, and other stuff whenever I’m able!

What else…oh yes, posting content. So you know how I was talking about social media stress? Yeah, posting causes a lot of that. Creating though, causes less of that though, sometimes even decreases it. Like I literally sleep better if I write fanfiction before bed (sad, I know, but hear me out). So what’s the solution? Well, I could just never post, but I like sharing with others too! So what I’ve decided to do instead is post in seasons kind of like a tv show! I’ll work on fanfiction/fanart throughout the year, and then once October hits, I’ll post whatever I finish on a sort of schedule, like every Saturday or something. That way, I won’t feel stressed to get something out every month and I can work on multiple stories at the same time (which is my preferred way to write)! That said, since I won’t be online as much, I may be pretty slow in answering messages/questions/comments/etc, so I want to apologize in advance. Know that I still love and appreciate all of you, and will get back when I can! 

Hmmm…Any last details? Oh yes, fanart and Bloodlines. I’m gonna be honest, y’all, fanart has been slow coming. I wanted to do more fan comics, but I haven’t had a lot of inspiration or motivation lately. I unfortunately might have to save that idea for next year, but if I do, I do have a back up plan that I think you all will like, so hopefully that works out. But for now, we’ll just have to wait and see!

Bloodlines…will be out…this year…or so help me, I’ll- *cough* Anyway, work on it has been going steadily, which should make me happy, but for some reason has got me extremely nervous. Like, is it going steadily because it’s close to finishing? Or is it going steadily because I missed a major flaw? Like will I be about to post it and realize I need to REWRITE THE ENTIRE THING! These thoughts plague me. Current improvements! I’ve learned what chapter hooks are and have implemented them to make the beginnings more interesting! Also, while I think Bloodlines is still a good “series” title, it is no longer a good title for the piece. The new working title is “Learning to Breathe”. I think that better encapsulates the story I’m trying to tell! Current worries! Is the climax “climaxy” enough? Does the build up pay off in the end? Do the dramatic moments make sense? DO I NEED TO REWRITE THE ENTIRE THING??? 

Anyway, I think that is finally, actually it! If you made it to the end, that’s pretty amazing of you! One day, I’ll learn to summarize my thoughts better, but today is not that day! See you all in July when Bleach comes back! I’m so hyped!

[natsugia]

I’ve been on a recent literati binge, obsessed with them, and stumbled upon your literati fic, “‘this is tailored made (so what’s the sense in waiting?)”, and wanted to say thank you so much for it. I can honestly say it took over my life for a brief 3 day stint and now, I’m yearning for more of them! YOU DID AMAZING! You gave them justice where the revival lacked. The closure desired from these two. It gave me so much pain and happiness, you wouldn’t believe it. I left reviews, ofc. I can’t thank you enough for how amazing that journey was for me, a delight, through and through. You are a marvelous and gut wrenching writer! You actually know these characters. Thank you so much, again, and I hope to see more from you! Will be checking out your other literati fics, indubitably!

🥰❤️ Thank you so much! The love for this fic has absolutely blown me away. I’m truly humbled and feel blessed to have you and others as such lovely amazing readers. And thank you for leaving a review. They mean the world to me. I’m completely backed up, but eventually I will respond to the rest of them, even the ones who have been waiting for a reply for like a year or two. I’m sorry! You’re not forgotten, I promise. Just overwhelmed with life. 😘 (@milothirst I haven’t forgotten about the Jess + sex post. Posting it soon!)

As for more in the universe, I have a small-ish follow-up I’m working on. TITM’s coming up on the 1k kudos mark on AO3 😱🤯, so I thought to maybe do a wedding sequel as a 1k celebration. I’m about 20% done with it at this point. Given how slow I am at writing with my hectic life schedule right now, we’ll see when I can get that out. Hopefully before summer of next year.

As for my other fics, I am still working on those as well. Next update will be for TWWCIL. I’ve got about 65% of the full story written, but of course it’s mostly towards the end. Once I finish fleshing out the middle, I’ll be able to rewrite chapter 4 and start a more regular update process. After that will be Chapter 8 of OSAS, the full story which has about 7 more chapters left to write before it is finally complete and we can post it regularly as well. And then I’ll post the 2 part Chilton AU, the Lit + cats au, and then finally the time loop AU I’ve been writing in my head for like four years.

So a lot of things to come. I just really need the time to be able to sit down and write. Thought I would have it this year, but my car got taken from me at the beginning of this year due to theft and vandalism, which was a huge loss cause my car IS my livelihood. I make majority of my money from driving gigs, and now that I’m spending about $500 a week with the rental I have while also making less money than before due to constraints of the rental program, it’s been a lot of expenses that I’m juggling at the moment. Once I’m able to buy a new car, I can go back to my ideal three day/weekend work week and get back to writing semi regularly.

I hope you’ll stay tuned. Feel free to come by here to chat or for any updates. I also recently made a Twitter (I HATE myself), so I’m gonna try and start posting more on there as well. Anon from months ago, if you’re still here, you can now find me @natsugia1 on Twitter. I should warn you though that my twitter will probably be a LOT more eclectic in terms of what I tweet on there, given what I’ve already been sucked into on that dumpster fire of a platform.

Wishing you a beautiful and wonderful summer. Sending you the QUEEN for Fun and Love and Life

[lemonluvgirl]

You asked for it, babe (Ignore the ask game pun 🤣🤣)

3, 15, 19, 21, 23, 24, 25, and 27.

(lemme know if you answered any of those before but I demand ALL answers!! 🤣🤣)

WOW! Lots to answer! Let's get started!

3. Fave line/scene you wrote this year- I answered this one in detail a separate post. Its actually a scene from the very first fanficion I wrote (Burning Bright & Blazing Free) but here I'll just shorten it to a line instead of the whole scene and say, "we just lean on each other as we keep watch against the dangers in the dark. And it feels as if we've always done this. Like we've been here over and over again. It feels like this is who we are, and that it is finally, blessedly enough for us to be together this way."

15. Something you learned this year- Actually I learned how to insert fic cover aesthetics on AO3 from you Stella! And it really comes in handy! Thanks wifey ;)

19. Any new fics to start next year- well I recently got a couple tumblr ask/requests for drabbles, but there's also this one fic idea that evolved late one night while you and I were chatting with @jhsgf82, and that's to Everlark the movie Misery! I'm definitely wanting to start that fic next year.

21. Most memorable comment/review- There have been so many. Namely all of your reviews @sparklingdust4612, which are so in depth and encouraging they always make me cry happy tears. Your reviews are GOLD babe. I wish I could review as good as you. In addition to all of yours, ( I won't list them all because I'll run out of space) there are a few others.

"You truly have a gift. This is by the far the best reimagining I have read and I’m very excited to continue on to “Golden CagesBorrowed Wings” you really need to consider taking this on as career cause you strung these notes to make a beautiful symphony. Also, the listening suggestions is now my favorite playlist. I very much enjoy how the music really captures the color and feel of what you are trying to bring to life. Keep it up! Can’t wait to read how it all ends…begins? Comes full circle? Lol" -from Silentlight on Burning Bright & Blazing Free on FF.

"WOW! This was such an amazing fanfic for catching fire and is hands down the best rewrite I have ever read. Honestly. You have such a way of bringing out emotions in your writing that is so hard to put on paper. The way you had Katniss and Peeta connect over the course of this fic is the most natural and most true to the characters that I have ever read. It was never rushed and was done so beautifuly. You have such a strong ability to bring characters to life and have us all fall in love with them (deen for example). I am so thrilled you have decided to keep writing into mockingjay because your story cannot end here! We need to know how things are different now that Katniss is the one captured and how Peeta will deal with the rebellion. So amazing so beautiful! Congrats on such an amazing story!"-from Natalie5678 on Burning Bright & Blazing Free on FF

"This is my new obsession. Your writing is PHENOMONAL; the way you can keep the integrity of the characters and make all of their POVs so unique and distinctive. It is true talent that's for sure. I've blazed through your stories in the last few days, thinking about the next time I'm able to read throughout the whole day. I am just so captivated and hooked on this story. Honestly, I want to pay you for the hours of enthralling reading you've given me. Like I haven't felt this invested in a story for years. So seriously, drop or message me your Venmo or something and I will pay you. It is the least I can do."-from SimoneSnickers on Golden Cages & Borrowed Wings on FF

I read your catching fire story in two days and immediately read through all of Golden Cages that you have so far. I am obsessed. The writing, the characters, the life you’ve given them it’s so well done! I’m so invested and want to thank you for the amazing artistry youve allowed us to read. I eagerly await your updates!-from Ahyoka20 on Golden Cages & Borrowed Wings on FF

"I’ve beem reading your fic by the last days and i can say that i loved it, truly, i loved, this one and the catching fire alternative, both are amazing. One thing that really touched me was that the characters kept their essentials through the hole time, I've already read some fics that the characters kind get losts and seemd fake, so congratutions to keep everything "natural" . I am really excited to keep reading the next chapters 3."-from FlyingHighThias on Golden Cages & Borrowed Wings on FF.

"I seriously think you should write a romantic or rom com book! You have an amazing talent at capturing these moments and making them feel so real! I loved this story!!"-from xmasrose20 on The Hoodie on AO3.

23. Fics you wanted to write this year but didn't- I had this one idea recently that captivated me all day. I told you about it on messenger once. I've even got a title and premise worked up.... In an alternate universe, where the Capitol ceased the Hunger Games and began celebrating art above violence, every year the nation of Panem holds a countrywide competition called the Aptitude Games to find the most promising talent from across the 12 districts. The winner of the competition becomes the newest victor, and gains an all access pass to the parties, shows, and secret workings of the Capitol. Katniss Everdeen & Gale Hawthorne are rebel spies tasked with infiltrating the Capitol Elite’s inner circle, by impersonating a rich benefactor and his alluring new mistress. Having run away from District 12 when they were just teenagers, and starting their lives over in District 13, they have trained for years to help the rebellion bring the Capitol down from the inside out. But on their first mission their past from district 12 comes back to haunt them, in the form of that year’s newest co-victors, Peeta Mellark and Madge Undersee.

How will the rebel spies keep their cover from being blown? And more importantly how will Katniss keep up the pretence of being a bought and paid for companion when she begins to desire Panem’s newest victor instead of her partner?

Anyway that's what I have so far. I wanted to start it but didn't. It seems like it would be another huge WIP. I don't know when I'll get around to it. But I want to call it Rebel Heart of Mine.

24. Fave Fic You Read This Year- Wow that's like asking me to choose between my loved ones. But....I guess if I had to choose....ahhh I would pick...Owning Me by Elisza94. The world building and characterization for this one is insane, especially for someone who is not a native English speaker.

25. Already answered this one ;)

27. Favorite Fanic Author of the Year- Again with the making me choose between all the things I love most!!! I guess if you put a gun to my head and told me to pick or else I'd have to say....NOPE! Can't do it. There are too many amazing writers. I would feel wrong picking just one! Can I just give you a list of all my serious nominations??? That's what I'm going to do!!

1. @sparklingdust4612 nominated for her everlark drabbles, especially "Chill..." & "It was just 3 times!!"

2. @endlessnightlock nominated for "A New Path"

4. @jhsgf82 nominated for her "I do Solemnly Swear" & "Today's Forecast..."

5. @mrspeetamellark nominated for "The Professor's Secret" & "Academia"

6. @softlikethesunset12 nominated for "The Most Amazing Coffee"

7. @bethpeaches123 nominated for “Oh, Its You.” 

There. I can't narrow it down anymore than that. Don't make me!!! In my personal head canon all of you guys are the winner.

[bedlamsbard]

Writing tag game -- tagged by @lessattitudemorealtitude

how many works do you have on Ao3?

Discounting podfic on which I’m listed as a co-author, 24.  My concept writing doesn’t go to AO3 and the vast majority of my Narnia fic was never cross-posted there.  (Or reposted there, actually, I think most of it pre-dates the AO3.)

what’s your total Ao3 word count?

1,050,810.  oh, huh, I didn’t actually realize I’d passed the one million word mark (probably with Crown).

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all of these ended up being Star Wars, which is not a huge surprise.  Morning will probably reach Dirt in the next couple of updates, I’d guess.

Immutable, or, Five Times Obi-Wan Kenobi Compromised His Jedi Ethics for Anakin Skywalker -- this is not the oldest Star Wars fic on there, but I think it’s the second oldest. people just really like 5 times fic.

Wake the Storm - did you know that when I started Wake I assumed it was a very niche trope in what was, at the time, a pretty dead fandom? the kudos count on Wake actually outnumbers Gambit by more than 1600 kudos, so the number of people who go from Wake to Gambit is a lot lower than you might think.

Queen's Gambit - a significantly lower kudos count than Wake or Immutable.  Gambit’s such a weirdo of a story, tbh, I can’t be surprised by anything about Gambit anymore.

On the Edge of the Devil's Backbone - about 600 kudos less than Gambit, so less difference between Gambit and Backbone than between Wake and Gambit.

Dirt in the Machine - another older fic.  I’d rewrite this one if I cared enough to do so, because it’s not at my current standards (Immutable isn’t either, for that matter) and I kind of wince every time I get comments on it.  this is the first one of the top five to have below 1K kudos.

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I’ll usually respond to direct questions, but I very, very seldom respond to comments in general.  This is an old standing policy of mine that’s now more than a decade old -- it used to be I’d wait twenty-four hours before responding, then I’d respond right before the next chapter went up, and for a while I’d only respond to comments on the first few chapters of a story.  Now I just mostly do not.  The reasons for this are: (1) many, many years ago, I lost my temper pretty badly at a comment on a fic of mine (this was pre-AO3, this was back in my LJ days), and after that I moved to the “wait twenty-four hours” response so I didn’t say anything without thinking about it, (2) I do go back and reread comments but I hate rereading my own responses, (3) I prefer to know the comments numbers on my fic are all from actual comments and not from me saying “thanks for reading!”, (4) I can’t take that kind of responsibility for answering every single comment, man.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Of stuff I’ve written in the past ten years? (I can’t really remember before that.)  Maybe Backbone, because it ends on that pretty upbeat “yay team we’re going to be rebels now!” note.  or Devil’s in the Details (other side part 1), though I don’t really want to consider it a finished fic even though it’s technically finished; it has another “yay team we’re back together (minus Ezra)” ending.  I tend to end on complicated and reasonably open endings, not like...happy endings.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

probably Gambit for the “everything is super fucked up” factor and also the fact that I never wrote the sequel. plus it ended with the entire Wake trio split up in a whole new universe, plus back in the Gambitverse Amidala not able to go back to Naboo, Ahsoka shunned, Palpatine’s new empire, Rex trapped in the Gambitverse, etc.

do you write crossovers?

I did in my Narnia days. I don’t anymore. Working in widespread fandoms like Star Wars or the MCU is basically like writing crossover fic within the same universe, anyway.

have you ever received hate on a fic?

*hysterical laughter*

...yes. yes I have. it’s the reason every time I get a comment notification on Gambit or Wake I freeze in absolute terror. people HATE Wake and Gambit.  I hate to say never, but I will probably never write those characters or in that series again.

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

not really?  I’ve done relatively non-explicit sex but it’s not something I’m super comfortable writing, especially in recent years. I’m much more likely to do a fade to black.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think Gambit got scraped once when it was still in progress and my response was something along the lines of “good luck, bro,” given the whole “still in progress” thing.

have you ever had a fic translated?

I’ve gotten a couple of translation requests but I can’t recall if anything’s ever been translated.  (Or if I responded to them...I know a few I forgot to respond.)

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, back in my Narnia days.  Some SW concept writing and that ended so badly that I’ll never co-write again.

what’s your all-time favourite ship?

Kanan/Hera, of course!

what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

gods, Dust in the Air, my Narnia Last Battle AU.  Back when I started it in 2008 or so I didn’t have the self-control or discipline I do now, even if I had a lot of the worldbuilding ability and the ability to conceive of if not execute long plot arcs, and I broke off more than I could chew.  If I ever went back to it I’d probably have to do a complete rewrite and it has the unique problem among my WIPs of being the last major fic I wrote in present tense -- I now write exclusively in past tense.  The bones of the story are good, I’d just have to go back to the bones and not just pick up where I left off.

what are your writing strengths?

Plot, worldbuilding/environment, action.  I also do genuinely think I’m very good at characterization too, but I think they’re all inter-related.  (Except the action, that’s me alone.  I love writing action and I generally get a lot of compliments on my action scenes.)  look, I know it’s conceited, but I’m good and I know I’m good, and I’m good in a pretty well-rounded way for the genre I write.

what are your writing weaknesses?

brevity. can’t do it.

honestly, there are others, but I don’t write stories where they’d come up.  I think I have a tendency to get to bogged down in dialogue in a way that I’ve never quite solved.  I also let my emotions take over too much and not in the good fannish way, in the “I’m having a fucked up relationship with canon or fandom and it’s affecting my ability to work” way.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

please stop having your Asgardians speak Latin for magic, man, that’s my feeling on it.

okay, my feelings on it for me -- I’ve sprinkled bits and pieces of Huttese, Twi’leki, and tee-tiny bits of other stuff here and there in fic.  I’d not be comfortable doing more than that because the only other language that I really feel comfortable doing anything significant in is Latin, and even then I’d hesitate. also, like, Latin! not a language that comes up in the fandoms I write in.  even then, like -- any extended dialogue should be intelligible to the audience, and I don’t expect my audience to be able read anything other than English; I’d rather just say “they switched to Twi’leki to say” or something similar.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

like, online? Harry Potter. for things that I didn’t post online because I didn’t know what fic was yet? probably either The 10th Kingdom or The Mummy.

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

On the Edge of the Devil’s Backbone.  I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever written, I think it’s the most tightly plotted, I think it’s got the best worldbuilding, I think it’s remarkably consistent thematically, and it was, at the time, a fic that I was very devoted to finishing or dying trying, because I was going through it at the time and some of it was connected to the fic.

I don’t tag people, but please go for if you want!

[ryukyuan-sunflower]

I have been reading your fuugen monster of a fic (which hands down is the landmark fanfiction of this fandom) and i just wanted to say that i am so unbelievably in awe of your talent, and bain, and skills and reading that story genuinely has changed my view of fuugen and made it so much more...real. I cannot thank you enough for all that you have done for this fandom and yet all i can do is try so; Thank you. So so much 💕

Wow. ...Please excuse me for a moment. I just need to grab a glass of water. 

... *wipes eyes with tissue* 

 Huh? Oh, I um...spilled the water. In my eyes. Ahem. Where was I? Ah, yes. 

 I'm glad that my fanfic has allowed you to see Fuugen in a new light. More "real" as you said. Actually, that's why the story features so many flashbacks to the anime in key moments. Though, it's assumed that Mugen and Fuu are falling in love as the journey goes on, the flashbacks reveal that they already were in love all along in the anime. But circumstances always worked against them before...like Fuu getting thrown in a brothel in Episode 4...and Mugen going back to save her, but she never finds out. So now, being thrown in a brothel AGAIN in Chapter 17-19, we see a familiar occurrence, yet with all new circumstances and outcomes for Mugen and Fuu. So I guess I'm trying to not only tie up loose ends (like Yatsuha and Hankichi in Chapters 13-15) but also untying the knots that Mugen and Fuu missed out on in the anime. 

 Finding the Four Eyed Samurai...WITH YOU? still requires a LOT of work. There's still 15 chapters to go. And I'm sure you noticed that the earliest chapters are...well, written VERY poorly by comparison of the later ones. 

I originally started writing it 9 years ago, when I was 13/14. Thank you for carrying on through the earliest ones. Even some of the later ones need work too. The only ones that are currently in my mind, "done" with need of minor fixes, are Chapters 13-19 and 32-45. Everything else, particularly 1-12, needs overhauls.

 Since Chapter 45, the end of the Tsuru and Giri arc, I have not been writing Chapter 46. Instead, I have dedicated time to rewriting from the ground up. 

 Currently, I'm working on the rework of the "ghost arc", which is now a whole episodic story, with side characters, a mystery plot, and somehow, more Fuugen highlights. Fuu and Mugen sharing a bed? Well, that's about the extent of what has stayed intact, but for a far more logical, and plot driven reason, if you can believe that. No pointless fluff anymore. Not in this fanfic. But you'll have to wait and see how this happens XD 

 On fanfiction right now, it's still the same two chapters from all those years ago... But I am extending it to a four-chapter story. I have the first two chapters of it completed, and working on the third. However, even when I finish all four parts, I can't post it on the website, as some of the details in it retcon other things in earlier chapters. 

 (If anyone else is interested in reading the rewrites before they get posted on the website in May or June, please let me know! I have so much content finished that I can't post!!) 

 Most majorly, Mugen and Fuu in the retcon will meet in Yokosuka. Not Edo. This is because the ghost chapters will take place in Edo, as part of historical accuracy and reference to real history and mythos of the ghost this arc is being based off of. Yokosuka chosen as the retcon place they reunite in, is in reference to "Letters from Yokosuka" by Nujabes. It is also in reference to the fact that Yokosuka is known historically for where Commodore Matthew Perry from America first landed to open trade with Japan: a nod to the chanpuru concept of American Hiphop meeting Japanese history. 

 Because of these certain retcons, it sucks that I have to wait until i finish ALL the retcons, instead of arc by arc, like I'd initally been doing. I'd already posted the brothel arc rewrite, and then the Yatsuha arc rewrite after. But now...I can't post the ghost arc. It may take until May or June to have them all done...

If you ever wonder if rewrites have been posted yet, check out my Fanfiction profile, where I post what I have recently finishing revising. 

 Aside from the rewrites though, an all new will be posted after that. 

Chapter 46 will star Jin. He hasn't been featured since Chapter 28, when Shino was confirmed pregnant, and we meet the two boys, Norio and Mirai. His little makeshift family and new way of life will be the focus. Strangely enough, writing about him has gotten me...emotional?...Perhaps because he is still separated from his best friends... And, well...the end of the last arc just happened, and he has no idea what his friends are going through. He will be in his own state of distress for reasons he can't quite place. It's almost like they're all still connected, even when they're apart. 

 But anyway, I work on this fanfic every single day now, whenever I have free time. I remember, for nine years I took suuuper long hiatuses. But, ever since Covid-19 struck, inspiration and motivation struck me too. 

Everything was getting so crazy in the world, and I just wanted to give a little glimmer of happiness to readers who were still waiting. In the darkest, most hopeless moments of my life, there were so many readers that sent me such kind reviews and comments about the story. 

 But during 2020 and now, my life is ironically at its very best. So...I wanted to return the favor to everyone who had no idea what their words helped me persevere through. I am so blessed to still have such supportive and enthusiastic readers, even after all these years. If there is ever month long hiatuses (like now. I havent updated since December), know that I am actually working on it obsessively. 

 Your words mean so much to me. More than you will ever know. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. 

 OH BOY. I need water again. What a long tangent this turned into. 

I hope that, no matter how long it takes, you will continue to read and enjoy this journey to find the Four-Eyed samurai to the very end. ...More importantly, will Mugen ever get his 100 damn dumplings?! 

 In the meantime, I hope you enjoy my many Fuugen proof posts on Tumblr as well!

[mopeytropey]

a beer buds series: chapter 4

Author’s note: my moodboard skills are not what they once were ... let’s just pretend that Lincoln’s head is shaved and that they aren’t sitting in front of a giant drop screen, shall we? The point is, this photo 100% encapsulates apu!Lincoln + Lexa energy. Cheers! 

Update available below or on AO3: here.

Timeline: the opening scene is a rewrite from Lexa's POV of a scene in chapter 4 of 'a pleasant undoing' as Clarke and Lexa discuss an upcoming day on Clarke's boat in a completely platonic, casual and cool manner, completely devoid of any sexual tension ...

Beer: Heady Topper DOUBLE IPA (DIPA)

The Alchemist IPA contains a proprietary blend of six different hops and has an International Bitterness Units (IBU) value over 120, but it doesn't have an excessive, overpowering bitterness. You'll smell or taste hints of spices, pine, grapefruit, orange and tropical fruits. Even though you'll notice a slight note of malt, hops are still the protagonists.

ABV 8%

Heady Topper: The Alchemist (Stowe, VT)

::: “So, we’re on for Saturday?”

Lexa slips her hands into the front pockets of her well-worn jeans as Clarke opens the front door at Dockside. She extends her arm, holding it open so that Lexa can walk through.

The scent of Clarke’s subtle perfume hits Lexa as she passes by, and she exhales in an anxious puff of air. “Yes. What time?”

There’s an unfortunately adorable twist to Clarke’s mouth as Lexa watches her contemplate. “Want to meet at the coffee shop at nine?”

The seaside port to which Lexa is still acclimating hosts several independent coffee shops. To Clarke, there is only one.

“Sure.”

“Okay, cool.” Lexa has potentially never felt more uncool in her entire life.

She returns Clarke’s smile, easing her nerves by squeezing her hands into fists within the confines of her pockets. She takes another breath while rising onto the balls of her feet and lowering back down. Lexa finds comfort in the sensation—a habit formed long ago to help calm her during overwhelming situations. She feels grounded by the crunching gravel beneath the soles of her sneakers.

“So, what should I wear?”

Clarke leans into the door at her back while they are still stood at Dockside’s front entrance under the soft glow of gas lamps above them. “I’ll double-check the weather, but it’s supposed to be warm. Cooler on the water by a few degrees, but you’ll be fine as long as you dress in layers.”

“Layers,” Lexa nods. “I can do that.”

There’s not much else to discuss. They’ve sat and ate, shared harmless barbs at the other’s expense, and told stories of their reckless youth. At this point, Lexa should be saying her brief goodbye and walking away. Except what should be a simple act, has begun to wind its way around her limbs, pinning her to this spot. Her desire to spend time with Clarke is unrelenting.

The notion of parting ways, of spending time away from her bright eyes and warm smile (and even, though Lexa would unequivocally deny it, her terrible jokes), swarms a heavy dread at the pit of her stomach.

“Okay, I’ll see you Saturday,” she forces herself to say after a rough swallow.

And Clarke smiles again, as if encouraging Lexa to do the right thing. Whatever the hell that is. “See you then.”

Lexa moves across the gravel lot quickly, putting distance between them at a clip. She heads onto the paved walking path that follows along the harbor, breathes in the sea air, and is swallowed up by a darkening sky.

:::

“Someone’s in a better mood than when I saw you last.”

Lexa ambles into the bar with a half smile. She’s only just left Clarke, and there’s a residual adrenaline still prickling her skin.

“I just ate dinner. Well-prepared food generally puts me in good spirits.” She finds Lincoln at the only pool table near the back. He has ordered for them both, and two pints of light golden beer sit on the table in front of him.

“Oh, okay,” Lincoln grins, eyeing her strangely.

Lexa practically hops onto one of the stools at Lincoln’s table and slides a pint closer to her. She’s in a good mood, a little buzzed from the beer she’s already had at dinner, but too proud to let Lincoln feel justified in his assessment of her demeanor. “I wasn’t in a bad mood this morning.”

Lincoln watches her sceptically, amused. “You looked like you were ready to drop kick someone off a very tall building.”

During a meeting with Lincoln and Indra at Trikru early that morning, before Lexa’s delivery shift officially started, she had perhaps been less than chipper. She has no interest in currently dissecting the reasons why and shrugs it off.

“I didn’t sleep very well,” she justifies vaguely. Lincoln looks as if he doesn’t entirely believe her, but she’s enjoyed too good an evening (and one too many beers) to linger on the sour way her day had started. Lexa lifts the pint to her lips before asking, “What are we drinking?”

“It’s a German pilsner. I wasn’t sure how lit you would be leaving Dockside so I ordered lightly.”

For reasons she is not yet ready to admit, Lexa feels entrapped by Lincoln’s assumption. “I’m not—how did you know I was—”

“Octavia told me you’ve been hanging out down there more often, grabbing food and whatnot.” Lincoln shrugs, draining at least a quarter of his own pint. “I made an educated guess.”

First Clarke had questioned her and now Octavia—who wasn’t even working—has noticed an uptick in her patronage as well. Lexa tries not to feel exposed.

“I hate cooking for myself.”

She can hear the vulnerability in her own voice, and she wishes Lincoln weren’t looking at her like that. It’s not pity. He wouldn’t dare pity her. It’s the look of someone who shares an intimate knowledge of Lexa’s life and how much of it she has spent feeling lonely. She wills him not ask any further, urging him to change topics with a kind of hopeful telepathy.

“Can’t argue with you there. The food down there is addictive,” he finally says. Lexa looks up at him to see his face much lighter, matching his easy tone of voice. She relaxes again and is grateful for Lincoln’s perceptive kindness. Then he winks, and she regrets any platitudes she’s ever bestowed on him. “Company’s not bad either.”

“Don’t start,” she warns, already feeling a jolt of panic at the insinuation.

Her cheeks flush, remembering the meal she’d shared with Clarke not an hour before—the easy conversation, sidelong glances, and soft smiles.

“I was talking about my girlfriend. Why?” he smirks, looking all of sixteen and full of mischievous charm. “Who did you think I was talking about?”  

Lexa groans into another sip of her pilsner and jumps off her stool in two quick motions. “Did we come here to play pool or so that you could interrogate me?”

“Who says we have to choose one or the other?”

Lexa ignores him and walks towards a rack along the wall where the pool cues are stored.

“I’ll tell you what,” he says, his voice following her across the small, mostly empty room. “If I win, you have to tell me why you were so angry this morning.”

When Lexa has selected a cue from

the wall, she spins to inspect it for bends and warps, arching an eyebrow challengingly. “How about I annailate you handily and tell you nothing?”

Lincoln laughs as he stands from his own seat and begins setting up the table by racking the balls.

“What exactly did they serve you down at Dockside? You’re feistier than normal.”

Lexa pauses, quietly debating whether or not to show her hand before conceding with a grin, “Clarke has that limited-released from The Alchemist on tap.”

“Oh boy,” Lincoln chuckles, his eyes widening. “That’s kind of a heavy hitter.”

“I know. I drank two.”

Lincoln braces himself against the pool table in another burst of laughter, and Lexa resumes her bright and cheerful mood.

:::

After Lincoln starts their first game and breaks the balls across the table with a loud crack, he misses his second shot and Lexa steps up. Brightly colored balls have scattered across the green tabletop, and she carefully examines her plan of attack. She clears half the table before narrowly missing a long corner, and Lincoln grimaces into the last dregs of his beer.

“I always forget how good you are at this game.”

Lexa grins at the reluctant compliment. “You can blame Anya for that.”

“Oh, I blame Anya for almost everything when it comes to you.”

Lincoln squares up to the table and Lexa leans against her stool without actually sitting down. Watching him hover over the cue ball, lining up his shot, gives Lexa an idea and she pulls her phone from the back pocket of her jeans.

“Did you just take a picture of me?” Lincoln asks after he’s sunk the four ball into a side pocket.

“Yes. Anya is convinced I have obliterated any chance of a social life by moving into the heart of Red Sox Nation. I’m proving her wrong.”

“You’ve known me since I was eleven. Does that even count?”

“Semantics,” Lexa responds, eyes trained on her phone and the scathing message she’s composing to her sister.

“Your social life is fine. Clearly Anya isn’t aware you recently hosted a wildly successful game night.”

As she waits for the photo to send, Lexa sips at her beer. “She would probably be horrified at the thought of so many new acquaintances in her personal space.”

“She is suspiciously private,” Lincoln contemplates. “Secret life in espionage?”

“Entirely possible.” Lexa’s phone buzzes and she looks down anticipating a snarky response from her sister, only to see a message from Clarke instead.

Clarke Griffin (9:00pm): just checked again, forecast for Saturday looks perfect

There are smiley faces and random nautical emojis and bursts of sunshine, and it’s more-or-less everything that Lexa hates about text messages. Except—

“That is not a smile I have ever associated with your sister.”

Lexa nearly drops her phone.

“Oh, it wasn’t—I was just—“

“I’m just kidding,” Lincoln grins, clapping a hand to Lexa’s upper arm. “You’re up.”

Lexa shakes her head, brushing off Lincoln’s curiosity as if her heart hadn’t violently knocked against her sternum. “No, it’s fine. Clarke is taking me fishing on Saturday—she was just texting about the weather.”

“Ooh, Clarke’s taking you on the boat?”

Lincoln looks practically giddy as Lexa finishes her beer and pushes away from her stool to examine the pool table. “Yeah.”

“She must really like you.”

Leaning into her shot, Lexa pretends her stomach doesn’t feel hollow. “We’re friends.” She keeps her focus and sinks her final ball seamlessly.

“Yeah, I know,” Lincoln shrugs with an easy smile. “That’s what I meant.”

“I’m about to end this game by placing the eight ball in that corner pocket. If that’s okay with you.”

“Perfect,” Lincoln laughs with a clap. “I’ll get us more beer.”

:::

“I’m walking with you.”

“You’re being absurd.”

“I’m walking with you,” Lincoln reiterates while signing for their tab.

“Lincoln, I can practically see my doorstep from here.”

“Do I think you’re going to get mugged on State Street at eleven pm? No. Do I think you’re entirely capable of walking 600 yards on your own? Absolutely. Do I worry for your safety anyway because I love you? Fuck yes I do.”

Lexa’s small chuckle is concession enough, and Lincoln slings an arm around her shoulders as they exit the bar. “You’re an imbecile.”

She thinks, by the adoring look on Lincoln’s face, that he understands she also means: I love you, too.

They cross over State Street and turn onto a smaller, darker street with less foot traffic. Not entirely residential but quieter than the city square. Ducking into the alcove of Lexa’s building, she reaches into her pocket for her keys.

“Tell Costia I said hey … and sorry for getting you drunk,” Lincoln tacks on a second later, and not looking entirely apologetic.

Lexa screws up her face and lightly shoves his broad shoulder. “You didn’t.” She exhales and jingles the small ring of keys in her hand. “Costia is staying in Boston tonight anyway.”

“Oh.”

“When she works late and has early classes, her friends from the program let her crash at their apartment in the city. The train can be exhausting.”

Lincoln massages the back of his neck, and Lexa wonders why her pulse has started to thrum. “That’s tough. Are you … okay with that?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Lex—“

“Her friends are impossibly nice people, and Costia is doing what she loves. I’m happy for her.”

The sentiment is not disingenuous; it just says nothing of Lexa or her role in Costia’s new life.

“Okay,” Lincoln shrugs, his hands deep in his jeans pockets as he gives Lexa an easy smile. “If you ever need to talk about any of it, though.”

“I know. Thanks, Linc.”

“All right, get in here.”

Lexa is wrapped up in a smothering hug, bound by Lincoln’s hulking arms before she can react. She exhales against his chest, relaxing into the embrace a moment later. She’s still a bit tipsy, feeling vulnerable from talk of her relationship, and savors the warmth of Lincoln’s arms holding tight.

“Do you want me to come up? Stay the night for a sleepover?”

“No,” Lexa laughs as they gradually release from the hug. “I’m exhausted. I’m going to crash the second I hit the sheets.”

“Okay good, because Octavia is meeting me at my apartment.”

Lexa frowns, landing a soft punch to Lincoln’s abdomen. “Get out of here, jackass.”

Lincoln feigns injury and falls backwards off the steps with a laugh. “Hey, you’re gonna have the best time on the boat on Saturday—send me pictures if you catch anything, okay?”

“My expectations are relatively low.”

“It’s not really about the fish anyway. It’ll be great either way. You’re gonna love it. Trust me.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Lexa says, channeling casual indifference instead of the anxious uncertainty she has felt since agreeing to Clarke’s offer.

As she keys into her building and jogs up the narrow staircase, she lets herself imagine, even briefly, what it might be like if Clarke were there on the couch in soft clothing, waiting for her to come home.

:::

[cycwrites]

Hi! I read your fic “Switching Gears” a few weeks back and I just wanna express my gratitude for making that fic! It’s amazing really, I can’t wait for you to make an update, I recently found your account in tumblr so I don’t really know how you’ve been doing but if you are resting then rest well! Your rest will be a great investment for your future updates xoxo

I just realized I am a terrible person because I haven’t answered this yet!

At the time I was feeling down and didn’t really have a lot of oomph about my progress and didn’t want to be a downer. (Too late.)

But I did - and still do - appreciate that you took the time to send this. It helped a lot and gave me a wee bit of pep to maybe get off my butt.

I’ve hit a serious lull this year, an unexpected one at that, and have increasingly stressed myself out for not producing as much content as I did year one of writing. I don’t think I’ve even matched year two at this point lol.

But. I’ve finished a fic tease that’s going up this year. I’ve almost got my Mitchsen oneshot done. And I have it in my head to really try and finish Gears before the end of the year. It’s been long enough and really there’s only 2 chapters so what’s my problem. (I can’t write smut anymore is my problem, I’m broken.)

Then hopefully I can start the year fresh and work on my rewrite of PP2 with other oneshots or things mixed in.

I love Gears, so much more than I thought I would when I started it. It makes me happy when other people do too, since it’s a Staubrey story and gets less love than the others. They deserve their happy ending and who knows. Maybe I’ll get around to writing the sequel that lurks in the back of my mind, takes place a year or so later and would put the 4 of them together like they’re insisting is endgame.

Thank you again for reaching out, it does mean the world. I hope you and yours are safe in the chaos that is life.

[matsumi101]

Who is this Kid?

Crossdressing Fem!Reader Hamilton Insert

Secret

Description:

General Washington has been relentlessly receiving letters one after another that has been requesting two same things over and over again. It’s high time he confronts the writer directly about it, and maybe clear something that he’s been hearing around while he’s at it.

———————————

Warnings: swearing, drinking

———————————

Notes:

> Masterlist

> Read from the beginning.

> “F/N” means fake name and “Y/N” means your real first name

> I don’t think I warned y’all before but I wasn’t really planning on writing chronologically. I’m not sorry lmao

> Surprise Wednesday update! I’ve been reading the rb tags and the replies you guys keep leaving in my story and honestly it makes my heart go 💞 aaa ily guys sm and im glad you’re enjoying the story 🥺🥺🥺

———————————

Taglist (if u wanna be added do tell!)

@thebitchiestnerdtowalktheearth  @cutie1365 @girlmadeofivory @i-honestly-dont-know-anymore  @takemyhand-bitch @hamiltrashqueer​

———————————

“Hey, Juggernaut.”

You adjusted your coat before pulling your tent open. “Yo,” you greeted quietly to the soldier waiting in front of your tent. “General Washington calls for you,” he informed you. You nodded and ducked out of your tent, not wanting to wait another second to know what your superior wanted to talk about. You walked at a brisk pace, never stopping until you were now in front of the tent that was noticeably larger than the rest.

You swallowed thickly, millions of possibilities running in your head to as why you were called. A big part of you hoped that it was with regards to your plans, though there was a smaller bit of you that feared that it might be of something else. Not wanting to keep yourself on edge any further, you pushed the tent open and let yourself in.

"Your excellency, sir. You asked to see me?"

You readily saluted at the presence of not only George Washington but the aide-de-camps and officers that were with him as well. They circled a table, where a map and a few mock pieces were laid out for them to view and move around. While John and Lafayette's eyes twinkled with recognition, the others simply stared at your arrival. "Private F/N L/N?" George assumed. He motioned you to be at ease, which you silently obeyed.

"Yes, sir," you confirmed with a steady voice.

George quickly dismissed the rest of the people out of the tent, the only ones remaining were you, him, and Alexander who was busy writing something at his desk at the corner. “I’ve been reading your letters,” George began, moving to get something from his main desk. You immediately tensed as he pulled out a small stack of envelopes underneath. You kept your lips sealed, waiting for the General’s input on your requests.

“You’ve been asking to have the same thing approved for years now,” he began, “and recently, you’re asking for a rather unique position in your unit, correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

From the corner of your eyes you could see Alexander perk up slightly at the conversation. He subtly glanced up from his work, his eyes falling on George as the general picked up an open letter that had been lying on his desk. “Let’s talk about the first one,” George announced. “I’ve noticed there was a slight change with your offer.” You licked the bottom of your lips out of nervousness, fiddling with your hands behind you.

“Unfortunately, even I can’t agree to it.”

“If I may sir, why not?”

George looked up from the letter to you. “Women cannot be paid to study, son,” he explained plainly. You tilted your head the slightest, confusion from his statement evident. “Sir, I do not seek for women to be paid to be taught basic medicinal procedures,” you murmured, and that was enough for George to mirror your expression.

“That doesn’t seem to be the message I’m getting from your letter, L/N.”

You opened your mouth to counter, but when a vague memory hit you like a punch in the gut, you couldn’t help but to smack your forehead in realization. “Shit, I am so sorry,” you apologized, the annoyance woven in your voice directed to yourself more than anything. George furrowed his brows at your sudden drop of formality, noticing how you were cursing under your breath as you returned to position.

“I must’ve sent you my draft letter instead of the actual one. The pay that I mentioned in the letter refers to the pay of the nurses, not the education that I wish to be provided to them.”

Your face turned to more of an embarrassed one. “I... might’ve written this late at night so my thoughts merged while I was writing,” you confessed, looking down at the ground. “I apologize for causing a misunderstanding. Writing... has never really been my best suit.” You could feel the back of your neck heat up with embarrassment, and the blood was slowly creeping its way to your cheeks the more you dwelled on your mistake. George huffed, and you could’ve sworn there was laughter that came along with it.

“We have our own weaknesses, son,” he said. “Rewrite your statement, then I’ll have it sent to the Congress for approval. Hamilton.”

“Yes, sir?”

The called man straightened from his seat almost instantaneously. “If you’re not too busy, you can help Private L/N draft his proposal to the Congress tonight?” he requested. You looked at Alexander almost the same time he looked at you. “I take it you approve of his plans, sir?” he asked George, though it came off more of a statement than a question.

“Yes. If our nurses are given the same pay as our male doctors, or at the very least raise it, then there wouldn’t be any need for our officers to resort to... violent methods of recruiting them.”

Your jaw visibly clenched at the last few words, and George wasn’t dense to not notice it. “If we treat our camp followers properly, as we should’ve been since square one, then they wouldn’t be working out of spite or fear,” you pointed out through gritted teeth, “and by teaching them the required medical procedures to treating our wounded, then there would be more hands on our medical team without really hiring more hands.” Alexander nearly beamed at your words and hurriedly wrote something down on a spare piece of paper.

“That’s an excellent point F/N, I’ll make sure to include that in your proposal,” he announced eagerly.

You stared at Alexander with surprise while George chuckled in amusement. “Now, since we’ve cleared all misunderstandings for your first request, I take it we’re good to move on to the next one?” his voice wasn’t as light as when he brought up your first request. “Ready as I’ll ever be, sir,” you replied. George nodded, pulling a different letter.

“Private L/N, I’m sure you already know the contents of your own letters, so I will say right now that I just can’t approve you to a... what is this term you used?”

“Field medic, sir.”

“Right.”

“Field medic?”

Alexander wasn’t really supposed to be a part of the next conversation, but he couldn’t help but inquire about the strange new term he just heard. “Basically a doctor soldier tasked specifically to treat wounded men while on field and pull them out of there,” George explained, and you nodded. Alexander’s face contorted, and you sighed internally as it was the response you already expected to get from someone hearing your concept for the first time.

“I... I don’t get it,” Alexander murmured. “We can bring our men to the backlines just fine during combat, I don’t see the point of having a person to specialize in that.”

You were just about ready to explain, but then George put up his hand to stop you. “I can hand you Private L/N’s letters of proposal for later, son,” George reasoned. Alexander’s face fell, and the man buried his face back to his work. “With all due respect sir, I feel like I am fully capable of putting this concept into action. My endurance is beyond average to run around the field and carry our wounded, all I need left is some proper first-aid training.”

“And we need your endurance in the frontlines!” George retorted. “Juggernaut, you’re our best foot soldier, I cannot afford to send you to the medics.”

You nearly physically recoiled at the use of your nickname. You wore the title “Juggernaut” with pride ever since, and George knew. Your tendency to almost never use your gunpowder and instead resort to close combat was what earned you the nickname, and your commanders made sure to utilize you best for that. Simply put, your fearlessness to be up close with the redcoats was something praised by your fellow soldiers and feared by the enemy.

“Sir,” your voice dropped low. “Many men die bleeding out in the field when they could’ve lived if only someone had been there to pull them out, but the second they’re crippled they are not our standing soldiers’ priority. Moreover, many more die in the tents simply for having infected wounds that could’ve been survivable had someone treated it long before. These men have hopes of coming home to see the end of this war and what follows as much as any of us, even while they lay in their own pool of blood as the rest of the fight ensues around them. Sir, they have lives they want to go back to, too, just like us.”

When you were done talking, the air within the tent was heavy. Was it out of realization or just the sheer weight of your words, no one was quite sure, but the tension was so thick no blade could cut through it. “I can see you are as adamant in saving lives as you are taking them,” George mused, finally breaking the suffocating silence that wrapped around the three of you. He glanced down at your letter, hesitancy clear as day. Between the two of you, it was the sixth one you sent for your proposed role. For every letter of declination he gave you, you rebutted with a new letter no more than two to three days later countering his reasonings. For someone who isn’t the best at writing, you do write a lot, he thought.

“Let my hands be stained saving the blood of my allies than spilling the blood of my enemies,” you responded, quoting your own letter.

George huffed, setting down the letter. “I will... think this through for the meantime,” he announced. You resisted your mouth that nearly quirked upwards at his words; consideration was a good enough sign for you. “Thank you sir,” you breathed. George eyed you carefully, thinking if there was anything else needed to be said to you. “I suppose that will be all for now,” he decided tentatively. He dismissed you, and just after you thanked him for his time and turned around was then he remembered.

“Hold on, Private. I feel like there’s one more thing needed to be discussed.”

You looked over your shoulder, almost fearfully, as you moved away from the tent’s exit. George leaned back, crossing his arms as he looked at you with a nearly blank stare. “I feel like we should address the secret circulating around you,” he pointed out. Your jaw dropped to the floor, a chill striking you from the feet up. A hand flew over your arm as goosebumps riddled your limbs, and you feared the worst.

“What secret, sir?” you asked, your voice nearly returning to normal with panic.

“Juggernaut, I don’t think we need to beat around the bush over this. Other soldiers have seen it, too, and you need to come clean with it.”

Other soldiers? The thought was everything but comforting. You always thought you had been discreet with your identity, but apparently you weren’t based on the General’s accusations. However, you kept your mind straight enough to keep droning on. Maybe it was just a mistake, maybe it was just a false rumor that was meant to drag you in the dirt. Yeah, maybe that’s it. You desperately wished that was it.

“It must be a mistake, sir. Whatever this secret may be must be just a measly rumor to throw me off,” you tried to reason out.

“Would it be considered a rumor if we have a witness?”

Your stomach dropped. So there are people who saw? That was definitely not right. You were always sure to have your corset on, only taking it off inside the tent, and whenever you bathe you made sure you were either alone or the last one out and never surfacing from the water. George glanced over to Alexander expectantly, and for the first time the secretary seemed to not want to partake in the conversation.

“Hamilton here has your verbatim.”

You could feel your palms turn sweatier as the seconds passed. You steadied your breathing, trying to calm yourself and stay reasonable. Alexander stared at George incredulously, as if he was the one who’d been ratted out by their superior. He looked over to you, and despite your seemingly calm stature there was nervousness in your eyes that spoke otherwise. Not wanting to lie, Alexander nodded almost apologetically to confirm. You felt your shoulders sag. Had you been too lax when you discussed about pretending with other disguised women? Or had you been too loud when you were rambling to yourself in your own tent? You feared what was next to follow, but if there was someone who bore evidence of your secret, then it was better for you to speak the truth.

“I apologize for deceiving you, sir,” you conceded, dropping your head. “I am more than willing to accept the punishment for my actions.”

“Funny, I figured you’d know enough the consequences of having more liquor than the daily rations you’re given.”

“Wh... what...?”

You tried to wrap your head around the new information. Liquor... daily rations... was that what General George Washington accusing you of this whole time? “Or is the excess whiskey your secret to your fearlessness after all?” George mused teasingly, and you shot up straight when it finally registered to you. “No sir, that would be my low sense of self-preservation,” you answered hurriedly, jokingly. Thankfully for you, George chuckled at your banter.

“Well, don’t think of dying too early, young man,” George advised lightheartedly.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sir.”

The tight feeling that was mentally suffocating you the whole time released your entire being. “Though, if it’s any assurance, my stash of vodka hasn’t really been consumed,” you informed. “If anything, I think the only time I made use of it was when I disinfected someone’s wound.” George sat up straight, a curious look flashing in his eyes.

“Is that so?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Who’d you heal?”

You paused, wondering if you should really say. “It was Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens.” You glanced up, noticing the inquisitive look both George and Alexander held. “If it’s any compensation for my troubles, I can offer some of my personal beverage. Surely, you’d like a shot,” you then offered, swiftly dodging the questions that might’ve followed your prior statement.

“And how will I know this is not a ploy to try on my good side, son?”

“Was I on your bad side this whole time, sir?”

“With the direction your letters were going, you might be at the tipping point of being so with the Congress.”

You laughed uneasily. “Rest assured sir, my offer is all in good faith.” George uncovered the mug that rested on the edge of his table, and you took that as the sign to approach. You pulled out your flask, which had been refilled from the much larger bottle that you were hiding in your tent (you wondered if someone that visited your tent before saw the bottle which led to the accusations), and poured a hefty amount into the mug, much to George’s pleasure. You waved to Alexander with the flask. “Do you want some too, Hamilton?” you asked him. Alexander stared at your flask, then to George, and then to his papers.

“Come on, son. It’s not everyday we have a little extra liquor,” George insisted, a welcoming smile on his face.

Alexander didn’t hesitate to come over to the table the second he got George’s approval. He brought his own cup, and you readily poured him almost the same amount as George. “Thanks, I needed this,” he sighed gratefully, the strong scent already wafting through his nose. The three of you shared a toast, and you took a nice, long swig from your flask. A satisfied growl emitted from each of you, the burning sensation running down your throat.

“Well sir, I should head out now,” you said quietly.

George nodded, and finally dismissed you. “Call the others back on your way out,” he ordered, and you gave a verbal confirmation before pushing one of the tent flaps open. You peered outside and saw that Lafayette and John were talking nearby. You headed to them, waving a hand to catch their attention.

“F/N! The General didn’t chew you out too much, I hope?” John teased.

You rolled your eyes. “Well, I got out alive,” you joked. “The General requests you guys and the other officials to return, by the way.” John chuckled, patting your shoulder as he passed by. Lafayette ruffled your hair before he and John headed out to look for the other officials that dispersed in the camp. You sighed and walked back to your tent, the clashing sensation of relief and anxiousness washing over you.

Your secret was safe... for now.

[bathunterofdevon]

Art/Animation/Video Update:

Good day everyone. 

You may or may not notice how quiet and inactive I've been lately - when I promised I would give regular updates about my renewed determination to practise art and learn to animate successfully. In the beginning, when I first started this new challenge, I was pumped up, and full of energy to start it. I made a promise that I would never give up no matter what, and always focus on getting better. And in the first 5-6 days, I did keep a level head and kept on going, with a clear goal at the end of it. But, over a relatively short time, -by day 5 I think- I became exhausted and couldn't carry on anymore. My own brain kept feeding and replaying bad memories over and over again, which left me feeling weak and spiritually broken. Eventually, I just burned out and collapsed. That was weeks ago now. Something I didn't expect to see again has returned suddenly, and with a vengeance. 

The past two weeks have been nothing short of hell for me. Realistically speaking, there is nothing wrong with me. I didn't have a rough or traumatic childhood. I haven't lost anyone close to me. I didn't break up with a long term girlfriend (never even had one to begin with). And yet, for some reasons which I feel are too complicated and awkward for me to discuss here, I've been feeling overwhelmingly cynical and bleak, like there is absolutely no point to me being alive. I feel like I have no future. And my brain is stuck in the past and I can't pull it out of there. 

 I remember feeling like this back when I was in Canada, and 3 years before that. It is strange. I don't think I have any legitimate reason to be depressed. There are so many people around the world who have really suffered terrible losses and come from real, hard and trying life circumstances. I know people who were sexually abused when they were children. I know someone who suffers from Schizophrenia, and regularly experiences headaches after being involved in an incident that gave them serious injuries in their childhood. I don't have either of those. I'm living with my family again - my Mum and Dad, and my family all love me and think the world of me. I recently started a new joj as a host and food busser for this new fancy restaurant in the town near where I live. And when people ask me what I'm feeling, I always tell them I'm fine. So everything should be okay. I'm doing all the things I ought to. I'm not old. I'm not ill. But for some reason, I'm just so sick and tired. Of virtually everything. 

I'm beginning to feel increasingly distant from my own life situation, like I'm on some kind of autopilot. Everything feels almost illusory and surreal. In a way, I wish I had some kind of real illness, like Coronavirus, or Cancer, with visible, manifest symptoms that everyone would notice. At least then there would be some kind of treatment for it. The past few days, my bedroom has slowly turned into a prison. I've become so lethargic, I haven't had breakfast in weeks. I've spent virtually entire days in my bed, and my dressing gown. I haven't even had the energy to take my dog for a walk. He is always sitting outside my bedroom door wagging his tail waiting for me to take care of him. I haven't spoken with my old school friends, or my extended family in ages, and I fear I'll never have the courage to break the mould and talk to them. And my bedroom is increasingly full of useless things that used to amuse me many years ago, but are now collecting dust. My piano is basically an ornament now - I haven't touched it in a very long time. My guitar's strings have long rusted and I haven't changed them in 7 years. I retrieved an old TV from the attic and hooked it to this laptop so I could use it as a second monitor to help with studying references while attempting digital art. But I've never even switched it on in months. My studio mic and audio interface - I suspect one or maybe both of them may be broken, but I can't even be bothered to investigate which - it just doesn't matter anymore. There are old songs from years ago that are half-finished that I wanted to finish and put on Soundcloud/maybe even Youtube, but music doesn't bring me enough joy anymore. Nothing does. 

You know–it's funny. My Gundham Tanaka video I released a year ago is becoming far more popular than I ever anticipated it would. I keep receiving new messages from newcomers telling me: 'My depression is cured' or 'this just made me feel so much better', etc etc. It's gratifying for me to hear people say things like that. But it's beginning to get a little tiring, all the same. It's a message that's just so out of tune with what I'm feeling.I just feel like a walking, rotting corpse. Even Kaede isn't making me feel happy anymore. Instead, I just feel lonely, and miss her. Speaking of which, a few weeks ago, I watched a video by Weebynewz about her execution, and I've discovered new information about it that I didn't notice before, which has made me feel a hundred times more uncomfortable. Now I feel quite sick, and even seeing the thumbnail for her execution video is enough to ruin my mood and break any focus and concentration I once had. 

I am lucky that I have online freerfs who I converse with regularly and who are always asking me if I'm okay. I'm grateful that they are there to make my daily experience marginally less shit. But these days, I rarely ever talk to them. I only respond now. I haven't got the energy to make small talk, or follow up on new developments or catch up with new memes. I know they're always looking out for me, but they are never going to get me out of this. The best they can do is stand well away from the event horizon and wait for me to force myself out of it.  

Fortunately though, for those of you who are worried about me, it's not completely bad. I have started taking medication again. You see, for a long time, I mistakenly believed you weren't supposed to take antidepressants while driving/learning to drive because they make you experience tiredness as a side-effect. Recently though, I learned that that's not technically true. You can take meds while you are driving, but the idea is that you are not supposed to drive if you feel tired, or your senses are impaired. In addition, I am looking to see if I can visit a counsellor and start having sessions. I'm kind of desperate for good news and a hope of recovery at the moment, but I guess it's still better than nothing. 

No matter what happens, I know this isn't really me. It's certainly a large part of me, but it's not all there is to my character. And frankly, I'm sick and tired of this, and I want it to stop. I want to keep entertaining all of you with silly videos. And maybe one day, I'd like to do a Q+A video/face+voice reveal, unprivate my old videos I made a decade ago, and introduce all of you to my real self. Then when that happens, I can finally move on, transcend my love of the Danganronpa franchise, and try something new. I'm not sure what that would entail. But it might be something that incorporates my love of music, anime, visual novels, and possibly writing/voice acting. 

Until that day finally comes, I'm going to remain stuck in this rut for who-knows-how-long. I won't know when the day will come, but I like to think I'll be fully aware when it has, since I'll feel totally different and refreshed. The only way I can come to terms with this long, dreary spell of melancholy is if it exists to serve some kind of purpose. And if this experience is to mean anything, then ultimately, my purpose is finally one day break free from it and discover a secret 'purpose' or 'why', or perhaps unlock a hidden potential I never knew I had all along. When that happens, then I can make my return and move on. Then my story could pick up from where I last left it. Or perhaps I can rewrite it altogether. 

I wish you all very well and sincerely hope NOBODY else in the world feels like this, 

 - Bat

[calloniel]

re: ode to sleep

Hey guys. 

I didn't think that I was going to do this so soon (or at all, actually) but ode to sleep is going to officially go on hiatus.

I've been wanting to rewrite this fic for a long time now. I started writing this story when I was a teenager, and the quality and ideas that I had back then no longer match up with what I really want to write now. It's been really difficult to find muse for this story - it's so emotionally draining, and god I love to deep dive into it all and write it out into a story that you guys can read and enjoy alongside me. But I'm not quite sure that I'm enjoying it right now. Not in this moment, anyways.

I was planning on holding back on this rewrite until I finished what I'd already started. The idea of abandoning years of work is not only a terrifying concept, but one that my stubborn little heart refuses to contemplate. But it's been a serious struggle, and I've gone back and forth and back and forth like a seesaw trying to decide if I should go ahead and just… start the rewrite and put my energy into making something more updated and new for you guys or finish what I started with this older, more wonky fic and do the rewrite later. I'd essentially decided on the latter…

Until the recent series of tweets sent out by Twenty One Pilots, the artists behind the title of this fic.

I'm not going to get any more political or preachy other than saying, once again, black lives matter. Black. Lives. Matter. Social injustice has been happening in my country since the very beginning and in this day and age there is absolutely no excuse. Black lives matter. That's all, the end. It is not difficult to stand up and say it, and I am truly heartbroken that a band that has been there for me through some of the hardest times in my life can't stand by such a simple statement and instead, must create a whole circus that devolves into hurting the fans who have supported them for years. 

There are other aspects to these tweets as well as other things that have been brought up in regards to the bands history that I don't want to get into. But I hope you can understand that I'm hurt and struggling to separate the behavior of the performers who created the music with the songs that have time and time again talked me off the ledge. It's hard. But what I do know is that I feel uncomfortable tying almost a decades worth of writing and work and emotion to their work when this is the message they want to (or rather, won't) send. 

I feel almost as if this is a sign? That it's time to finally sit down and think about my fic and the themes and messages that I'm trying to convey. The actual song Ode to Sleep has always been deeply interwoven in my story and I want, need, to stop and start to separate the lyrics and the melody of the song with my own words. I want to craft this story that's been a big part of my life with my own words, outside of the influence of a band or a song to structure my theme. 

Maybe this is over the top and dramatic when it comes to fanfic. It actually is, I think. But I've been working on this specific story since I was a young teenager. I remember sitting in class physically writing this story out in a notebook instead of studying or paying attention to lessons. So I guess you could say that this means a lot to me. I've spent over a third of my life with this story, which is absolutely wild for a fanfic. And it's probably super weird and awkward to stay but hey! I'm weird and awkward! I'm just a dumb bird, guys. 

I'm not going to stop writing this fanfic. But I'm going to take a break - how long? I don't know. But I'm going to take a break, think about what I want to change, what I want to keep, how to make this story something I can be proud of, and then I'm going to come back and post it under a new title. One that doesn't have connections I'm not proud of. I want to make this fic something that I'm excited to write for again instead of… an emotionally draining chore. 

I think that's all that I wanna say. I already wrote way too much to explain going on hiatus for a fanfic but I hope that it is a decent enough explanation for you guys as to why this is happening now vs later. You are all welcome to ask me questions or anything you wanna say in regards to this or anything else any time. It's something that I've always meant to do but… the timeline just got scooted up a bit. You guys have always been amazing and so freaking patient and caring, and I hope you guys will be willing to wait a little bit for this. 

Lotsa love,

Calloniel

[im-hqlover]

Weekly Update Post.

(Okay, doing this a second time because tumblr bugged, I hope it works now.) 

Soooo, I decided that I will do an update post every week, reporting on the status of what I'm writing, along with a little spoiler of what I've already written, so, spoiler alert!

As you can see I have written a lot of things, but my problem is that somehow i can't get some of my ideas down on paper, because of that i'm writing several things at the same time, but it comes to a point that i just don't know how to unfold the story, and this is annoying me a lot. I hope you understand why I haven't posted anything recently.

Arkham Knight (AK) - Chapter 2 

Words written so far: 1473

Status: Last edition 40 days ago / Very hard written block / Hiatus / I may have to rewrite this

Spoiler:

- Baby, I'm going to have to go back to Bludhaven.

- Can I go with you? - I asked him while turning off my cell phone and paying attention to him. 

- No, you better stay here, it's safer. 

- But- 

- No, you will stay here, it is the best, and you know it. - He approaches me and I get up from the couch and stand in front of him. 

- Okay… just be careful. 

- I promise. - He takes my hand and kisses it softly, he always did that when he promised me something. - I'll be back tomorrow, okay? 

Arranged marriage/Royal AU (AM/RAU) - Chapter 4 

Words written so far: 2693 

Status: Last edition a week ago (or are there two? I don't remember)/ Writing block / Little hiatus / May I need to rewrite.

Spoiler: I had my suspicions that this was supposed to be a gift from Jason, since he was the only option for me to have left a gift on our bed, but why would he give me a gift? Maybe I was wrong and he just left it there to deliver to someone else later. 

Dinosaur Trainer (DT) - Chapter 2 

Words written so far: 5827

Status: Last edition yesterday / Little Tiny Writing Block / Thinking about what the other characters would say is a very difficult task.

Spoiler:

- Owen Grady, it's nice to meet you. - He extends his hand, I shake it too and return the smile. 

- It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Grady. - We pulled our hands away, and again, I don't know how I didn't stutter to answer. 

- Call me Owen. - I nod, and muttered an "ok", he greeted Mr. Masrani and then the four of us sit at the round table, Simon was still sitting across from me, with Hoskins at his left side, and Owen standing between Hoskins and me. Kodi continued to lie on my left side, occasionally taking cold water from the glass bowl. 

DT - Fallen Kingdom - A new life (part 2 of Mistakes) 

Words written so far: 1230 

Status: Last edition 3 days ago / Little Written Block 

Spoiler:

- Look, Sleeping Beauty woke up. - He approached the two of us with a bag and coffee cups, I just roll my eyes at what he said and hear Maisie laugh.

- My prince charming didn't come to wake me with a kiss of true love. - I answer him by joining the game, and Owen and Maisie laugh, I try to sit up with a lot of effort, but it seems to me that I was still a little weak. 

- Wait. Maisie, can you hold this for me? - He handed her the bag and the coffees, and then put a hand on my back to help me adjust. - How are you? 

Outer Space is the Limit (OSitL) - Chapter 1 

Words written so far: 3450 

Status: Last edition 5 days ago / Little Writing Block

Spoiler:

- I am Groot! - That being on my leg raised its head looking at me with big eyes, and in a way I found it kind of cute? Okay, maybe that was weird. Peter approaches me and crouches in front of me, close to where was what it said was Groot.

- Well, it seems to me that you already knew Groot - Peter removes the small being from my leg and puts it on his shoulder, and then offers his hand which I took nervously, and then he helps me to stand again. 

- I am groot! - The little one raises its hands in the air when saying its name animatedly. 

There's an alien in my bed (TAB) - Chapter 1 

Words written so far: 4360

Status: Last edition 4 or 5 days ago / Little Writing Block 

Spoiler:

- Why the hell do you think he's gonna come because of me? - I feel my throat burn as I speak. 

- Because apparently you're the only one he really cares about. - As soon as he said, more tears fell. 

- If he really cared about me, he wouldn't have left me without telling me. - I whisper, saying it more to myself than to anyone else.  

Ideas I had but I don't know when or if I will actually write 

Passengers - Jim Preston x reader

What I have in mind: Six months after Jim Preston woke up, another hibernation capsule gave problem, y/n l/n awakens from hibernation almost 90 years before reaching Homestead II, when she woke up everything looked confused, but it got worse when she didn't see anyone there, if they were about to arrive at Homestead II, how was she the only one awake? Or she thought she was the only one awake, until she finds Jim Preston. 

Back to the Wild West (BWW)- The Magnificent Seven - Joshua Faraday x reader

What I have in mind: Y/n L/n and Marty Collins are fanatical about the Back to the Future trilogy, and when the boredom of Social Isolation due to the pandemic hits them, Marty, who is a scientist, decides that he would create a time machine, of course y/n said he was crazy to think that would be possible, but he did, but then regret knocks on his door when he makes it work, that would be a mistake, they would have to destroy it, leave no trace and not let anyone know. But y/n had other plans, she wanted to go back to the wild west, just stay a day or two to see what it was like and then come back. Marty hesitantly accepted, and so they took what was needed and y/n went back to the wild west, but she ends up getting stuck there, how would she get back to her time? What wrong could happen? 

PrattPack Imagines/Oneshots/Headcanons. 

I'm kind of stealing the idea from @im-an-octopus where she does some headcanon about some Chris Pratt's characters, and I really wanted to do something like that, but I don't know if I'm really going to do this or when I'm going to do this, but it's been on my mind for a few days now. (And maybe accept requests from them)

Characters that would include:

Peter Quill

Owen Grady

Josh Faraday

Jim Preston 

Andy Dwyer (maybe, I need to watch more Parks and Recreation to find out more about him)

Onward - Barley Lightfoot x Reader

I'm divided into three ideas, and I don’t know if I write them all or choose only one. 

First: Y/n is a mermaid, coming from a special lineage with several stories, and perhaps one of the only families that continues with her ancient traditions, so she along with her father, mother and brother ended up moving away from the rest of the family and moving to Mushroom Town, but when she finds out that her family is in danger, an unknown person says that she must find two people, a wizard and a knight, she was very confused because of this, and said that wizards no longer exist, but not long after she sees a news about Ian Lightfoot she went to find him, because she believed he was who that unknown person was talking to. Maybe this will be a long journey. What surprises await for you?

(both the second and the third would happen kind of in an AU where it happens in the real world, and everyone is human)

Second: Y/n is new to the city, and is in the penultimate year of High School, she feels out of place and alone, in the beginning some people even tried to be friends with her, but when y/n realized that they were assholes she walked away and decided it was better to be alone, who needs friends, right? Everything seemed to be going well, or at least the best possible, until school literature work needed to be done in pairs, the pairs were drawn and she ended up with Barley Lightfoot, she wasn't very comfortable with that, not because of the things she had heard about him, but because she really didn't want to do that to other people, because she was afraid that she could do something and he would end up making fun of her and she would suffer again, but things were much better than she expected and maybe that was the beginning of a new friendship? Or something else? 

Third: Y/n's younger brother got hooked by QoY, and because of that, he and his friends would go to an event that would take place in the city, where it would be kind of a rpg but with everyone acting and dressing properly instead of being on the board, with their father traveling, y/n is responsible for taking his brother there and waiting until everything is over, but maybe with some events the heart of y/n will end up being stolen by a handsome knight. 

[gosatsuvns]

Weekly Update #315 - Post-Update Notes & Plans For The Remainder Of 2020

If you haven't caught the news yet, we've just released an update for SHINRAI - Broken Beyond Despair in celebration of its 4th anniversary! If you're curious about what exactly has changed, you can read all about the additions and changes to the game here.

Today, I'd like to say a few more words about the update, our new projects and our plans for the rest of 2020!

The Update:

First of all, I need to say that I would have loved to do way more than what we ultimately managed to infuse into this update. Unfortunately, we kinda ran out of time, since we couldn't allocate too much to it in the first place. I mean, it's been four years now since we've released this visual novel and, rather than keep tweaking it, I'd like to focus on our new titles and make sure that those are going to be improved in the areas that players criticized with BBD.

Besides, there are always going to be things that can be done even better and I am quite a perfectionist, so I'll never be satisfied anyway. Therefore, I originally didn't really intend to touch this game again, as I'd like to move forwards and accomplish new things.

I would have eventually made some tiny script adjustments, due to some of the developments regarding GENBA no Kizuna and Withering Without Hope. Both stories have evolved quite a bit from my plans in 2016, after all. But those adjustments would have only been minor continuity/consistency fixes. Like how the place where Raiko lives has been upgraded from a town to a giant metropolis. Thus, the word "town" has been taken out or replaced during the recent update, for instance.

(I told you, I'm a perfectionist... *cough*)

Earlier this year, however, we've been presented with an opportunity I couldn't pass up on. It's something I'm personally super excited about, so I can't wait to finally make the official announcement (which should happen within the next two months, I guess). And it's this opportunity that led us to make an update now, a little bit bigger in scope than simple script adjustments.

Given what we're working on in secret right now, I ended up deciding to also address the bigger criticisms we've received. Unfortunately, in some regards, there was only so much I could actually do about them.

The slow pacing in the beginning is almost always brought up and I did try my best to revise some parts, making them more concise, but ultimately, I doubt there is a noticeable difference. I didn't want to simply erase big parts of the game and I didn't have the time to completely rewrite and restructure things, nor did I really want to. After all, even though most people criticized the slow start, there are also players who didn't mind or even enjoyed it.

But yeah, if it was too slow for you, you probably won't feel any different even after this update.

Still, overall, I do think that we've improved the experience quite a bit. And delving so deeply into BBD's script again was quite beneficial to its sequel, as well.

GENBA & WWH:

After SHINRAI's release in 2016, I immediately started working on GENBA and WWH. One year later, however, I realized that working on two murder mysteries simultaneously maybe wasn't the smartest idea. Not only did it drag out development for both of them, it also complicated things as I was trying to craft two different murder cases, filled with dozens of mysteries, at the same time.

So, I eventually decided to put WWH aside and fully commit myself to GENBA, as this title sets up quite a few things for WWH.

And in the end, it turned out to be a really good idea, because working on GENBA, along with the recent SHINRAI update, has really helped me in shaping the story for WWH into something much better than it was three years ago.

I'm really excited about it and, with GENBA's story fully set in stone now, can't wait to finally do the same with WWH's!

Plans:

For the next week, there is still some post-update stuff to take care of, which I'll probably talk about in next week's blog post. However, in general, I'm going to get back to GENBA now. As mentioned in the update announcement post, I have the perfect release date for it in mind, and I will do everything I can to get it done by then.

Before I make any promises, however, I want to see how the remainder of the year goes and if I can actually accomplish all of my goals. So you'll have to wait until our New Year's post before I will elaborate on any of this (sorry).

Anyway, with GENBA's story planned out and vast chunks of the script written, it's mostly asset work that's left. So that will be my main focus until the end of 2020. Although the first big goal is to get the first chapter fully done (the extended demo only contains about 70% of it), so that will include some script revisions, too.

At the same time, I also want to get a full outline done for WWH, so that next year, I can write its actual script!

As you can see, there's still a lot to be done, but I'm feeling very motivated. I'll further detail some of our plans in our next few blog posts, but for now, I guess I'll wrap this up! As always, please enjoy the rest of your weekend and, until next Saturday, take care! :3

[aquabreezeproductions]

Twoleg of Thunderclan II: Chapter 6: Author's Note

It has been over ten years (eleven, to be exact) since I updated this story. I can't believe it's been that long. I started writing The Twoleg of ThunderClan in 2006 after my friend Julia (who goes by Bramblebelly on fanfiction.net) introduced me to the concept of fanfiction. We were both huge fans of the Warriors Series at the time, so after talking with her, I typed up the first chapter (version 1 of at least 4) in an afternoon on an old Dell laptop. 

I was surprised and flattered by the response it got, and continue to be to this day. I mean... you guys know I wrote the bulk of the story when I was in middle school, right?! My writing has improved SO MUCH since then. And I look back on some of the decisions I made and I cringe. A pregnancy twist? Not to mention Smudge being unneutered?! What was I on?! (If I remember correctly, I was taking Ritalin at the time, so... that’s probably it.) But regardless, you loved it and still do. And so I think you deserve an explanation of where I’ve been and what the delay with updates is about.

If it wasn’t entirely obvious, a lot of the decisions I made were spur of the moment, especially before the sequel got going. I wrote Chapter 2 on my friend’s computer in one afternoon with her looking on and helping me out. That friend, Becky, goes by Yellowfur on fanfiction.net and ended up writing more fanfics than I’ve ever even imagined. She’s since written at least one play that was actually performed in real life. Isn’t that awesome? (Sure, I’m a bit jealous, but still.) Another chapter I wrote while visiting my friend Raye in Vermont, in between visiting the Ben & Jerry’s factory, of course. These writing sessions were fun at the time and have a lot of great memories attached to them, not to mention they were great ways to spend an afternoon/evening and channel my creativity, but in hindsight, they didn’t always produce the best work I’ve ever done.

But, things started to change. I got way into Avatar: The Last Airbender, and the Warriors series got left behind. I still updated The Twoleg of Thunderclan when I could because it had a following, but I wasn’t as passionate about it, and so it was updated less and less frequently. I’ve also become a bit of a perfectionist. It’s SO important to me for something I write to be as perfect as it possibly could be, so it’s probably part of the lack of updates, too.

As time went on. my attention drifted to Avatar fanfics, then to other Avatar-related things, and then farther and farther away from The Twoleg of Thunderclan. Fandoms like Law & Order: SVU, and recently Ace Attorney, the X-Files and Yuri on Ice. I started playing video games to a point where I became addicted. (I still struggle with spending too much time playing games. but it’s not where it once was.) I graduated high school, got depressed, took a gap year, traveled, then went to college and got a dog. Then I left college, went back, basically failed out and got a campaign internship, got fired from said internship, then took years to work on myself before getting a food service job that went from the start of last year until coronavirus put me on indefinite furlough in March. Miranda’s story would return to my mind from time to time, but I could never sit down and do anything more than rewrite the first chapter for the upteenth time.

In June 2006, when the first chapter hit fanfiction.net, I was only 12. I’m now 26. A few years ago, the story had its tenth anniversary- its fifteenth anniversary is next year, as a matter of fact. But now that I’m older, I think I appreciate more fully the love that The Twoleg of Thunderclan continues to get. (Do I have a fanbase or something? idk probably not.) Even the (somewhat well-deserved) hate that it gets is motivating. And I think it’s time that this fanfic gets a finished story.

I know I’m not the only writer that’s left a story to rot, and I’m not shaming anyone who has. I understand perfectly why writers do that. But over the years, I’ve felt immense guilt for not continuing the story. Sure, I’ve known what the rest of Miranda’s journey would be like, since it’s in my head. But the rest of you have only been able to guess, and that’s not fair to you guys. You deserve better.

The writing bug has finally come back to me recently- the coronavirus has left me time to think, of course, but I’ve found myself with a group of friends playing Final Fantasy XIV almost daily. One of our group is an audio YouTuber, and I’ve started to think about writing scripts for him, so keep an eye out for that (if you’re 18 or over.)

Now, I’ll do my best to update timely, and try to give you the best estimates I can. But I can’t promise I won’t fall victim to perfectionism, or depression, or real life and the stresses it entails. I’m only human, you know. But I promised myself I would finish and post Chapter 6 as soon as I could, and here I am. Here it is, after eleven years.

A quick note about the future: I’m going to be re-writing the chapters that have already been posted. The first Twoleg of Thunderclan will probably end up with more chapters, and certain plot points will be edited out or changed. (I may get rid of Mistpaw and the kits altogether.) I’m going to try to be more descriptive with the earlier chapters, and make sure everyone’s in character. I’ve also been working hard on developing Miranda’s character, and I’ll continue to do that. I never saw her as a self-insert, and I’ve been making as sure as I possibly can that she stays as far away from Mary Sue status as possible.

The definitive version of the first story will be posted on my Archive of Our Own account, so if you’d like to read only the rewritten/finished chapters, in order, that’s where they’ll be posted. I figure that’s a better way of telling you guys that there’s a rewritten chapter than just posting it over the old version on ff.net and hoping you guys notice.

And yes, the second story will be finished. And there might be plans for a third story, but that’s little more than some brief ideas right now. I’m also leaning towards ending TTOT after the second story- but a nice, complete, proper ending that it deserves, and that you all deserve. I’ll be able to give you guys more information on that when we get closer to the end of this story.

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for! Go read Chapter 6 on ff.net here, and on AO3 (when it makes it over there along with the rewrites)! If you guys have any questions/comments that don’t fit into reviews on FF.Net/AO3, feel free to shoot me an ask on this blog or my personal blog, aquabreeze, or contact me on Twitter at @zmcadler I hope you all like the new chapter, and thank you so much for continuing to support my writing.

[natsubeatsrock]

My 10 Favorite Posts, So Far

Well, tomorrow makes 5 years of blogging as natsubeatsrock. It’s been quite a crazy 5 years and I’ve made a number of crazy posts in the time between starting this blog and today. To celebrate I wanted to talk about 10 of my favorite posts over the past five years. This list isn’t necessarily ranked from least to most favorite, but there is one post I can call my absolute favorite.

Let’s go!

Honorable Mention: The Rewrite of Fairy Tail: Part 16 (Lisanna) [originally posted March 27, 2019]

As an honorable mention, I want to shed some light on my favorite post from last year. I started making this post months before the series was on the verge of ending. As I was working on this post and decided to work on rewriting Fairy Tail, I started to rework this series as a defense for keeping Lisanna in the series, as opposed to cutting her. This has been a theme in a lot of the posts I’ve made about Lisanna since a post I made before that one and I do plan to talk about that in the future.

#10. My Incredibly Unpopular Thoughts on: Ships/Zervis [originally posted October 25, 2015]

This is the earliest post in my top 10 and it shows. Around this time two big things happened: I made a post on August 31st called My Incredibly Unpopular Thoughts on: Juvia and the fandom exploded over Zervis, due to the revelations in canon. I intended to make that first post a part of a series and this was too big of an opportunity to pass. I remember that writing this was ridiculously easy for me. In fact, it’s one of the shortest posts for me to draft and upload with its relative size.

While I’m not as proud of how my writing prowess shines in this post, almost everything I’ve said in this post has become my philosophy on ships since posting it. My thoughts on shipping fandoms? Check. My thoughts on canon weight of ships? Check. My wishy-washy feelings over Zervis? Check. For a long time, this was my favorite entry in this series, but we’ll ge tto that soon enough.

#9. Bye, Bye Lucy: Part 4 [originally posted May 20, 2017]

A lot of you may be shocked to see this post on the list. “Bye, Bye Lucy“ was a series of posts I did explaining all of the issues I have with the infamous subset of fanfics that has Lucy get kicked off the Strongest Team in favor of Lisanna, resulting in her leaving Fairy Tail. I had a ton of fun working on this series. So much so, I actually ended up writing a story based on the idea I posit in Part 3 of this series, which I released earlier this month. But, individually, Part 4 is my favorite individual post in the series which focused on the idea of Lucy leaving the guild over the whole situation.

Originally, this whole series was going to be one really long post at just over 10,000 words. However, around the time I was working on the part that would become this post, I realized that these stories fail with each successive plot point important to this trope of story. At this particular point, any stories lose me as both stories inspired by Fairy Tail and as their own type of stories. No good story that I know even tries to play with these tropes has Lucy actually leave the guild, even temporarily.

#8. Why I Still Ship Nali (Even if Most of the Rest of Fandom Doesn’t) [originally posted March 1, 2020]

I didn’t want to add too many posts from too recent on this list. As much as I think my current writing is my most consistent writing, it would be hard to say that too many of my posts now are at the same level as many of the posts coming up on this list. But, I’m honestly glad that I made this post, especially considering some of the things surrounding its creation.

About three months into my blog, I made a post called “What I Need to Stop Shipping Nali (and why I still do)”. Around the time I was going to post it, I guess someone made a post questioning why people would still ship Nali. It’s become one of my least favorite posts and I’ve felt it desperately needed to be updated for a while. I decided to tackle an issue I’ve had seen in much of fan interpretations with Nali: doing nothing past Edolas with Nali. I wrote the first draft out months ago and waited for a good opportunity to type it out. When I got the hate messages, that felt like as good a time as any. Speaking of which...

#7. My Response to Anon-san [originally posted March 31, 2016]

A bit of backstory may help with this one. I posted “My Incredibly Unpopular Thoughts on: Lisanna” on Easter that year. I check my phone coming out of my church’s night concert and I got the two messages I respond to in this post. When I first saw I got messages, I was worried because that was the first time I ever got negative anon messages. But when I read them, I knew I needed to talk about this as my 3,000th post on this blog - a milestone I was on the cusp of approaching when I got the messages.

While I like the precedent my response seemed to set for my dealing with this type of stuff, the reason this post is here that I legitimately love the messages I was responding to. Every now and then, I read them to myself just to remind myself they exist. I’m not even sure why I got them in the first place. They don’t even seem terribly connected to that Lisanna post. While complaining about fandom has been something I’m apt to do for a number of reasons, I can’t imagine which post got on their “nevers”. But believe me when I say that I am feeling very cooling about the fact that I did.

#6. My Incredibly Unpopular Thoughts on: Nalu [originally posted July 9, 2016]

I’m sure this one isn’t much of a shock too many of you. Around the time I made this post, the “anti-Nalu“ community was very different from how it is now. I had made a couple of posts about some of the issues I had with the ship and its fandom, but nothing on this scale. As a part of Fairy Tail month, I figured should try to explain everything I saw wrong with both.

Even as I wanted to do this and made plenty of similar posts before this, the thought of backlash terrified me. I made sure to set it up to post when I knew I’d be away and wouldn’t be able to see how it was received. When I finally did see the responses to this post, all of them were positive and from people who agreed with me. It’s become my favorite post in the series and still seems to serve as a great primer for people who don’t ship Nalu.

Though I’m kind of sad that a lot of the stuff I talked about in that post regarding the development of Nalu and fandom habits haven’t changed almost four years since I first posted it. When I went to make the sequel for this post, I was shocked how little fandom changed and how stuff inside and outside of canon seemed to embolden fandom to be worse about other actions over abour 18 months. Though, I didn’t hate Nalu when I made this post, even as I stopped wanting to ship it around that time.

#5. Opinion I’ll Probably get Stoned For #100 [originally posted April 29, 2016]

I really have to get back to making these. “Opinions I’ll Probably get Stoned For” was the series I was known for starting less than two months into making this blog. It’s a series where I drop spicy takes ranging from Sweet Bell Pepper to California Reaper. I’ve gotten into it with fans over more than a few of the posts in this series. However, my favorite of the series is one of the longest editions in the series.

Months before posting this, I remember seeing one of my favorite Graytear bloggers get into trouble with Gruvia shippers. One point brought up that particularly pissed me off was the moment that Gray was about to used Iced Shell against Silver. According to the Gruva shipper, the fact that the panel remembering Juvia is bigger than the panel remembering Ultear showed enough of Mashima’s priorities. This argument literally made me sick to my stomach. For months, I’d privately joke that this proved the exact opposite: Gray went through with Iced Shell because he remembered Juvia.

To celebrate hitting the milestone of 100 posts in that series, I decided to make a longer version of the series and explain my thoughts in depth. As soon as I had the idea, I knew that had to be the one. My favorite thing about this post is that, despite clarifying that I’m not terribly serious about this argument twice in the post, I actually got blocked by a Gruvia fan over this post. I guess they didn’t see it as that funny of a joke. Weird how that works.

#4. Nali Week: Scars and Unkept Promises [originally posted July 24, 2016]

Every once in a while, someone will make the remark to the effect of “People should stop complaining about the ships they don’t like and make stuff for the ships they do like”. Thank goodness no one has actually said that in regard to my posts. As much fun as I’ve had over the years complaining about the stuff I don’t like in Fairy Tail and its fandom, I do make a point to talk about the stuff I do like and why every now and then. While the series was running, ship weeks usually meant meta posts from me and this is my favorite of them.

This post was born from my own musings about how the anime dealt with Natsu and Lisanna’s relationship. I wanted to talk about its handing through the perspective of Lisanna being an important person Natsu lost and how that works with his desire to see Igneel again. The big moments I draw on is his promise in episode 75 where Lisanna asks Natsu to save her if she ever gets lost and their reunion in episode 79.

The perspective I took in that post is one I don’t really take a lot. I’m not arguing against an idea a lot of people in fandom agree with. I’m not even really arguing that my perspective is the correct perspective. I’m explaining the thought process that Natsu, as I interpret him, has regarding someone he cares about. The stuff I talked about in this post has become part of my interpretation of Natsu and traces of it can be seen in a lot of the posts I’ve made since. We have to bring Nali Week back.

#3. An Open Letter to the Nalu Fandom [originally posted October 1, 2017]

I love satire as a rhetorical tool. I love taking an idea I disagree with to so large an extreme that the problems with it are obvious to even the people who agree with it. While many of my posts have drips of sarcasm and irony, I love making an entire post based on the idea of pointing out the problems with an argument. Consider that I’ve done similar things with Opinion #100 and, to an extent, my most recent story.

The trick is finding something with problems that are so glaringly obvious, you can’t imagine people actually taking its side. In the case of this post, it was a hilarious letter addressed to the “anti-Nalu’s”. Apparently, the idea that people openly didn’t like Nalu got on “the nerve of every last one of their pussy hair“. So they wrote a short letter they meant for fans who don’t like Nalu to read. I would give them a pass becasue they were apparently on their period, but they were defending those Twitter pics of Natsu and Lucy on chain leashes.

It’s worth mentioning that this was a few months after the original series ended. I had been trying hard not to make a post about Nalu and the stupid things I saw their fandom do. I didn’t even talk about the pictures they were defending. When I made this post, I figured that I was probably not going to be making many more posts about Nalu for a while. So I decided to throw in every issue I had with the Nalu fandom between talking about it a year earlier and then.

As you can probably tell, I haven’t stopped complaining about Nalu and its fandom. This post seems to have set the tone for how I would deal with the ship and its fandom this side of the ending. Instead of pointing to why a ship fails for me, I’ve been talking about why others should have expected the ship to fail. And, if recent events are a sign of the future, it seems like I’m going to have stuff to say about it for a while. Yay?

#2. Why was Ichiruki Popular? [originally posted July 6, 2018]

What does it say that this post is among my top 10, both on this list and in terms of most notes on a post on this blog? This is a Fairy Tail blog for crying out loud. I shouldn’t be able to get so much attention for talking about a series that isn’t Fairy Tail. It almost certainly shouldn’t get more attention than most of my posts about Fairy Tail. A few people even liked and reblogged it this week.

Then again, this wasn’t my first time talking about other series. I’d already spent time talking about Rave Master, Naruto, and Monster Soul on this blog. I asked my followers if it would be cool if I spent time talking about other series, now that Fairy Tail had ended. Since I got a fairly decent response I decided to talk about a few series, including Bleach.

I got into reading Bleach about a year before it ended. At the time, I was following people who were already into it and was well aware of the popularity of Ichiruki and infamy of its fandom. I was fairly behind but I didn’t see much reason to ship Ichiruki when it ended and I saw the fan meltdowns. Imagine my shock when I got to the end and felt exactly the same about its chances when Rukia said Ichigo’s just her friend. I made this post to vent.

If I started reading Bleach about a year before getting into Fairy Tail, I likely would have been a Bleach blogger. This post served as an interesting glimpse into what that timeline might look like. It’s also one of the few posts that sparked actually interesting responses. While many have pointed to the anime as a reason for its fan popularity, I can’t tell how the staff came to the conclusion that Ichiruki needed to be portrayed as more romantic than in the manga.

#1. I’m late to the “Nalu wasn’t the original plan” party, aren’t I? [originaly posted December 10, 2016]

I’ve made a lot of posts on this blog. I’ve said a lot of things, done a lot of analysis and meta, and shared a lot of opinions here. And yet, I can’t say that too much of the stuff I’ve said is important. Not to say that my insight into certain topics isn’t appreciated. It’s just that much of what I’ve said over the years, even in some of the posts on this list, likely has been and would have been said by anyone else if I didn’t say it. The biggest exception to that has been this post.

A few months before this post, there was a leaked image of Mashima’s afterword in Fairy Tail S regarding the extra chapter Special Request, which happens to be one of my favorite chapters in the series. In it, he admitted that he didn’t originally plan on writing Natsu and Lucy’s relationship as romantic and was currently writing them as somewhere between friends and lovers.

When I first saw it as an image on a Tumblr post, I was extremely hesitant to say anything about it. I didn’t know about Fairy Tail S and assumed it was a troll. When it was confirmed by another blog, and it source was ultimately verified, it was a dream come true. Mashima had vindicated my thoughts on the ship literal months after my big post on Nalu. And yet, not many people were talking about what this actually meant for Fairy Tail and the fandom moving forward. So came this post.

In many ways, I’m still shocked that I still have to point people to this afterword and what it means for Fairy Tail. I’m sure many people know Mashima didn’t plan on making Nalu happen, but I doubt many people understand that fandom is outright incorrect to say that Nalu hsa been obvious from the jump. In a weird connection to the previous post, Mashima’s comments on Nalu are similar to comments Tite Kubo made regarding his writing Ichiruki. Even now, it’s hard to say that Nalu will become canon knowing Mashima’s original intents.

Of the most important thing to come from this post, this marked the start of me starting to hate Nalu. Up to this point, I went from being indifferent to it to not liking it. However, once this came to light, I came to actually hate the idea of Nalu as romantic. I’ve had even less patience for the fandom that made itself near synonymous with the Fairy Tail fandom at large on every site ever. I doubt that will change anytime soon and I’m not sure if that’s a bad thing anymore.

Well, that’s my list of my favorite posts. I’m sure you guys have favorites among my posts and maybe some of them are on this list. If you want to see more of my other personal favorite posts and reblogs, I’ve tagged all of them as fav on my blog, including this one. Here’s to 5 more years of whatever the heck I’m doing on this blog!

See you!