#I really wish I felt like a better person than them but I can't just put them down so much
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
fischlcatgirl · 2 days ago
Text
okay here are my thoughts about genshin at the moment. i have been not making this post for a little bit because it. pisses me off.
I don't know what the fuck they think they're doing with these characters. HONESTLY. yes the state of them was getting worse gradually. it doesn't take a genius to figure out that when part of a character's draw is how strong they are, in order to get people to buy more and more characters, they have to get stronger and stronger.
but what felt before like a gradual incline turned into a fucking cliffside when natlan dropped and mualani was released at a similar power level to neuvillette (who had just just just powercrept every other hydro dps) WITHOUT the same investment or supports he needed.
The problem I think really is not the character kits themselves. It's not that they're out of ideas. It's just that the multipliers are fucking crazy. and to be frank!! I don't think i've seen one person who is happy with the direction things seem to be going.
i can't deny that there are a lot of good older characters and i wouldn't try to. I am. and perhaps will forever be. a fischl main. (all things considered a very lucky main pick. i considered xinyan) But i am annoyed by ccs who will try to tell you that international is still perfectly abyss viable. like girl. go play international then. go play kokomi taser. go play morgana.
content that should be designed to be challenging mechanically is NOT because it's way easier and more profitable to create a situation where the game looks you dead in the face and goes. drop 2000$ for c2 mauvika and citlali and just kill the enemies before they 1-shot you. otherwise enjoy the next half hour of restarting the chamber.
the fact that they changed the rules for the chronicled wish to put shenhe on rather than let go of hu tao, especially when they have arlecchino right there to give as many regular reruns as they want, is particularly scummy. especially after over a year of shenhe not having a rerun. incredibly nasty. just a flagrant display of how little they care about the feelings of their players as compared to their bottom line.
They're a business. Whatever. That doesn't make it cool or right.
I love genshin's story. I'm concerned for its direction. I'm concerned for the writing of its characters. Maybe I'm missing something, but Mualani's hydro vision doesn't represent jack shit in terms of a duality of character. Citlali could have been absolutely fascinating but has instead been reduced to a tusundre love interest for the traveller to a degree they didn't even inflict on Ayaka. We're supposed to see playable Skirk soon-ish, which I would love to be excited about but tbh with how they handled citlali (another woman who is hundreds of years old and incredibly powerful) I am preparing myself for disappointment.
WHICH SUCKS! I love genshin! I love it! I think that it started out a good game, and that it could be a good game again. Who knows? Maybe natlan will be the character-release equivalent of inazuma's story quest: kind of bad, but with much better things after it. Maybe they'll finally start running three characters at once. Maybe Childe will come back and I will forget my troubles again. I will quit genshin once it becomes virtually unplayable, or once they start releasing doubles of the same character, whichever comes first.
tldr; natlan powercreep needs to end and i really hope they don't fumble any more characters like they did citlali, but ultimately i still really like genshin and want to know where it is going.
anyway, if you got to the end of this long ass post i would love to know what you think and I would LOVE to talk about genshin i will do it until the sun comes up in the west. please talk to me about genshin
25 notes · View notes
girlivealwaysbean · 4 months ago
Text
it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy
#i follow this person cleo abrams on youtube and she's always talking so excitedly about scientists#and their amazing discoveries cool facts and she's so excited and starry eyed and hopeful#she genuinely just wants to educate people and has so much hope that we can make the world a better place#also like idk maybe unrelated but i saw the mv of new romantics and just. wow#say what you will about her but there's no doubt she's made an insane number of people happy SO HAPPY that they're crying#so many tours#idk i want#i wish my life was bigger#i feel so isolated and always just focusing on myself my career my health my enjoyment#what about everything everyone else#i keep trying to be completely okay with being alone i keep telling myself to not need anyone and be 100% independent#find happiness within hobbies interests#but it feels like a losing battle#i don't know i just. miss everyone 😭😭😭😭#but it hurts too much tbh always more sad than happy always more crying than laughing#i miss my bestfriend i don't know what i did wrong but she won't pick up my call she keeps saying she's busy#i don't want to be clingy because she hates that shit i don't want to drive her away but she's my only friend#i miss my fucking mom she doesn't care if i live or die obviously but i miss just having her presence in the house#and even tho my sister is here she's never fully present always on her laptop working#i wouldn't really say i miss my dad but wow it's been so long since mom and dad stayed together at home it was almost#always miserable but sometimes at the lunch table it was nice#i don't know everything and everyone is moving and changing so fast and i can't breathe under it and it's already september#but this entire year felt like a blur it's like everyone who left took a chunk of my heart with them#and i should be happy because im so close to the exam which will get me out of this house finally be financially independent#like i wanted since i was 11 i could finally start my life#but it all feels so. i don't know the whole future seems black like i can't imagine life past november 2025#how do you imagine happiness if you've never been happy?#and all these feelings are making it so hard to study and studying is so fucking important because if i don't ill be stuck here forever#and i don't want to go thru attempts fail and pass again atleast back then i had a reason first heartbreak‚ not getting to go to college#but what now why now i don't even understand i know objectively i do not have it that bad it's literally better even if i compare to my own
4 notes · View notes
ten-of-imps · 1 year ago
Text
Ten rants about someone they've met who were so authentic they forgot they live on earth and has to be considerate about others
While leaving a conversation when it stops being enjoyable and comfortable is an admirable trait to have, and one I need need to add to my skills and habits, being so focused on yourself, on the other hand, is not. It's time to stop thinking you're the shit, telling fcking heavy stuff to someone you barely know, sitting in your distant Moon thinking how authentic you are, how you know who you are and what you like (not even gonna mention how you dont even bother asking the other person) and that's what the other person has to know about you, pretending that you did so much self growth people just left you because they couldn't handle the new you. No darling, they left because you became more annoying than before. No darling, you're not authentic, you're selfish and you are in this conversation for yourself, so someone else would bring more pleasure in your life. I think you want to catch someone who would somehow care about you the same amount you do, without you having to do any work. That's not how it works
The way people use authentic as a means to let the world spin around themselves is fascinating. I haven't yet seen it taken that far, although I've seen people do it with other concepts. And I am so angry because there's so much I want to say to them, and tell them how fcking nasty it is what they're doing. But from their reaction to me saying how I feel around a certain topic I see they don't care and don't really see nuance that much, or care about taking time to see someone else's perspective. So there's no point. And I'm angry, because it was me who had to run first after that first day. I had to leave first. And I didn't. Why is it that I will try to listen to other people, but I ignore my own voice?
I really didn't think it will end this meh for me, and I thought I will entertain this and see where in the actual hell this will end. And we're deep guys, or maybe im naive and we were just past the first gates. I knew we were deep when life advice started. '' No no no i see people as good and just tired maybe, you should too, this helped me''. Wait did I asked you? Did I started a debate where I saw you taking my points seriously so you expect me to do the same? No? Thought so.
Authenticity means shit if you don't know how to listen to others and always think they are the problem and you're oh so deep and emotionally mature (the irony in this sentence). Ohmygod im so frustrated right now I'm going to explode!
Fucking trust your gut, and if its telling you this won't take long to start shiting knives, it's not worth it.
Believe in yourself and leave the damn alone. Leave the conversation, especially if they say so many already left. THERE WERE REASONS AND THEY ARE NOT SEEING IT!!! Which means they have no self doubt. They think they are right about everything, which is just crazy. They might be fine, but if you sense something's off, IT'S NOT WORTH IT!
1 note · View note
wishful-seeker · 1 year ago
Text
Tips on how to avoid being unintentionally ableist
1. When a disabled person says they cannot do something, and you wish to offer solutions, do not make a solution that involves them powering through pain, or something thats not accessible to the disabled.
Example:
Disabled person: "washing dishes hurts too much and i cannot do it."
Abled person: "what if you did one dish at a time throughout the day?"
This statement is not respecting that this disabled person just said they "can't". Always respect that. No matter how simple the task would be for you.
Disabled person:" i think ill use plastic silverware so i don't make dishes."
Abled person: "plastic is bad for the environment!"
This statement shuts down the most accessible and disabled friendly option that this disabled person can actually do because of the abled persons personal beliefs. This is not helpful, and ableist.
Better yet, instead of offering solutions, ask them directly "is there anything you need that you do not have that would help you do this?" This allows the disabled person to think about what would work, and they will always have a better idea of what would work than you do.
To add on to this, when we say we have no more energy to solve a problem or do a task, or change our lifestyle, we mean it.
2. If you feel discomfort when a disabled person is talking about their health, good and bad, that is ableist. Your discomfort is coming from a place that deams disabled peoples very existence as a bad thing and you need to fix that.
For example:
Disabled person:" this week has been rough pain wise, ive been through a lot, felt like my body was on fire. Lucky i got new meds though and i think they're helping!"
Abled person: "can we talk about something else, this is a bummer."
Disabled people should be able to exist freely without worrying about your personal comfort. Do you really think its appropriate to tell someone in constant pain that their life is making YOU uncomfortable?
3. Do not treat disabled people as tragedies, do not romanticize their old life or put their current one down.
For example:
Disabled person: "yeah my life is pretty difficult sometimes, ive lost a lot but i still have happy moments."
Abled person: "it makes me so sad to see what disabled people go through :(. You used to love rock climbing and running, i would love to see you move around more again."
This statement is putting more value on the disabled persons abled past, and ignoring their life as a whole.
4. Do not avoid speaking to disabled people because it hurts to see your loved one disabled.
For example: my grandmother avoids conversations with me because it hurts her to see me in pain. While she has good intentions it leaves me being unable to be close to her. This is very isolating to the disabled.
5. Do not stop inviting your disabled friend/loved one out even if they are never well enough to attend. Unless we specifically ask you to stop asking if we can go out, good chances are we want to know you still care because again, disability is very isolating.
6. When a disabled person says certain things in their health have gotten better or worse, do not challenge this because you don't see a difference.
For example:
Disabled person: "yeah things are getting a little better"
Abled person sees disabled person using their wheelchair like usual: "i thought you said you were getting better?"
Better and worse are usually small changes only the disabled experience, its not like abled people healing from a broken arm. Better to a disabled person could mean they can stand for 10 more minutes.
7. Do not expect disabled people to ever be abled again, and again, do not put more value on an abled life.
For example:
Disabled person:"I have been using a wheelchair for 2 years."
Abled person: "oh you're young, im sure you'll be walking around in no time!"
This statement invalidates and ignores the disabled persons current life by hoping they get a more abled bodied life. Its fine to hope disabled people get better, but you don't get to decide what better looks like.
Hope this helps, stay punk.
6K notes · View notes
alllgator-blood · 12 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
'FOGGY STREETS AND CHRISTMAS LIGHTS'
(part 3/3)
I'm gonna infodump about the backstory of this comic, don't feel obligated to read it because it's not cotl related it's just personal stuff, I just want to be able to write about it somewhere cause I can't really talk to anyone about it.
As always, thanks for reading this far, sorry my stuff has been such a bummer so consistently. This comic goes out to all my "christmas induced depression" homies, I left my house maybe like ~5 times all month and it was NOT pleasant hearing "IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!" on the radio when I'm so ready for it to be over. Gonna take it reaaaaal easy til the year ends, you guys take it easy too!! Got some asks I have to respond to when I'm more stable but probably no new comic pages til january
Alright uhhh so this part of the comic is pretty much taken directly from the last time I saw my great-grandma alive, a few days before christmas. She didn't remember me, but at the nursing home there was a piano, and I sat down and played some stuff because I didn't know what to say. I was really into lisa the painful rpg at the time, and I played that "I've got the joy" song that the villain sings without realizing it was an old christian campfire song. She didn't really say much or move that whole night, just kind of gave me a polite blank smile, but started singing the words when I played the notes to that song.
I kinda stopped in shock, my dad frantically asked me to keep playing, so I did. While the comic I made is way more sappy than the actual moment was, I wish I'd cherished the moment longer. I didn't know it was the last time I'd see her alive. Every family christmas was held at her house when she was around, so it's been weird the past few years. I actually lost another dementia-addled grandma to cancer on christmas eve in 2009, so the holiday was already kind of weird for me on top of everything else that makes me sad this time of year. That's what part 2 was about, I'll spare the details but I wrote leshy to act out how I felt back then. Why are we all sad? This is supposed to be a happy time, all the decorations are up and we're almost all here, so why is everyone smiling yet everything feels so wrong? I feel like since leshy's canonically the most ignorant one to things lurking below the surface, he'd be the one to try and make everyone feel better but not quite understand why everyone is so miserable. My first memory of having self injurious behavior came from then, hence why I had leshy pull his leaves off in the last comic. It was confusing and frustrating and I was just old enough to comprehend something was wrong, but not old enough to understand the depth of it, it DEFINITELY didn't help that nobody helped me back then so I made leshy's siblings actually come in clutch instead of grabbing him/yelling at him.
That night with the piano was something that's stuck with me the few years she's been gone, but I felt kind of strange when I asked my dad and my sister about it and neither of them remembered it. The room we were in was completely empty so nobody else witnessed it but us three. I myself have a history of head trauma and memory loss (plus, native americans are disproportionately more likely to develop dementia... lucky us) so if I ever forgot about that moment, there'd be nobody left to remember it. Sometimes when I do comics, it's my way of going "this happened at some point, and the only evidence it ever happened was me witnessing it, so if something happens to me I want the memory to stay alive in some form."
Anyway. The autistic urge to overshare, am I right? Idk what my religious ass great-grandma would think of me drawing demonic comics about my last memory of her, she'd probably think it's funny though cause she raised my dad whose interests have always been "death metal and devil worship". I'm not sure if anyone read this far, I just hope my dumb comics can convey the things I can't say with my voice and struggle to say through text. None of this was supposed to be "feel bad for me!! Woe is me!!", it was supposed to me more like...cathartic? Healing? I almost didn't post this comic because it felt kinda weird, but seeing people connect with it made it worth it imo. Thank you
662 notes · View notes
catgirlwizard · 2 years ago
Text
.
#personal#i just need to rant somewhere about how much i love my partner!!!!!#he's so sweet and supportive and its so nice being with another autistic trans person with ptsd cause theres so much less about myself that#i have to explain. even though we're different people and have different reactions and feelings and opinions theres still that commonality#like even if i love the texture of velvet and he hates it. i know what its like to feel a texture and feel like my hand is tingling and my#anxiety spike at little sensory things like that. thats just an example but its really nice having someone who is their own person but#still understands the feelings i have and i can understand his. and he's SO incredibly patient. and he's a much more literal and straight#forward person than i'm used to which is such a nice change of pace. growing up autistic there were so many situations where people said or#did one thing but meant another and i struggled to understand them and it led to getting hurt and learning to be hyperaware and overanalyze#every interaction to find out how people were upset with me to the point the littlest thing would be a travesty. but with him its so simple#he means the things he says and doesn't obfuscate or lie to me about stuff he tries to be as open and honest with me as he can and if he#doesn't explain something it's because he doesn't know how to express it not because he's hiding it. i wish i could be more like him#and im trying really hard to learn that and unlearn the tendencies i picked up in toxic situations that make communication hard for me.#he makes me really excited for the future. and he makes me feel safe and supported in a way ive never felt in any relationships before.#its nice knowing i can just be myself around him. all versions of myself and he won't be upset with me for any of them. even if maybe he#should be upset when i get bitchy. but when i start getting annoyed over little things he doesnt pick up on it which gives me time to#analyze why im upset and correct my behavior and do better and calm down instead of getting more overwhelmed and not having any way to#express it except the passive aggressive tendencies i learned throughout my childhood. and when i apologize for that he says he didnt#pick up on things and that i can't help how i feel because its a gut reaction not something i choose. and hes right but also even if i cant#choose how i feel. i can still work on how i react to feelings. and i want to keep getting better at reacting in a more constructive way.#he really honestly values me communicating with him and telling him how i feel. which is SO SO SO incredible and im so lucky to have a#partner who genuinely cares about how im feeling and wants to work with me on it and know how to help because for so long i havent been in#situations where i can express feelings so i just bottle it all up and try to deal with it on my own because people before have used me#talking about feelings as a way to twist things around and blame me for their own problems. or invalidated how i felt. or not cared.#but when i talk to him i know everything he says is genuine so even through all my trauma and paranoia i know i can trust him hes proven#himself to he honest and genuine and legitimate enough times i can trust he's not faking it thats just really the type of person he is and#its so amazing and im incredibly lucky to have someone so patient and kind and supportive in my life <3#and for the first time in a relationship i don't feel terrified of the future! i'm not constantly thinking about when he'll leave me or#when i'll leave him. or how things could go wrong between us and trying to prepare for that so i don't get hurt. i just think about all the#ways i want to build a real future together with him. and when we talk about future stuff like wanting a house even if we might never
1 note · View note
lyrefromthesea · 5 months ago
Note
Hey idk if my ask was at the end so idk if you still know it.
I would like to request the hashiras x taller/same height reader if that’s ok?
thank you <3
Hashira x reader - Tall for what?
Tumblr media
pairing: Tengen x reader, Obanai x reader, Rengoku x reader, Sanemi x reader, Giyuu x reader, Gyomei x reader, Shinobu x reader, Mitsuri x reader
content warning: none
Tumblr media
Tengen: 
• he's READY. he met you and his first reaction was "gods, what?!" without a doubt, he'll walk around you like you're a painting, taking in all your features.
• the moment he's finished his only thought is "flashy!" he will ask what kind of clothes you wear, if you want your demon slayer uniform to look more flashy too. a person like you must be seen!
• more than excited when you meet his wives, watching their eyes go 'o' when they see someone taller than their husband. and you're so nice too! they instantly begin sharing his enthusiasm.
Tumblr media
Obanai: 
• used to people being taller than him, it wasn't anything special. what really got him going is that YOU seemed to notice the height difference. 
• are you looking down at him? no, that's not it. do you not take him seriously as a hashira? he was there longer than you, wrong answer. the secret is revealed when you smiled at him one day.
• "you have a really handsome face, i wish my eyes looked like that." great, his brain stopped working. he found a way to leave the conversation in a matter of moments.
• at least he tries talking to you more often now.
Tumblr media
Rengoku: 
• "it is my pleasure to meet you!" he's enthusiastic. a new pillar? and your handshake was strong! it didn't take much to engage in a long conversation with him.
• you learn that he's not surprised about your height, but admires you nonetheless. when he said it's a pleasure to meet you, he was serious, he would be happy to engage in more conversations with you.
• really happy when he hears that you're assigned to a mission with him - he was curious to see your breathing style. and it's perfect, it resembles your inner being.
Tumblr media
Sanemi: 
• he would've ignored you, it wasn't a shame to be smaller than a person or two. he is smaller than his younger brother anyway. then you talked back and let me tell you, he is STRESSED.
• your little remark quickly turns into a heated conversation. the distance between you two closes, foreheads bumping together. that's the moment he stops. 
• he will never admit it, but your fierce and determined gaze, the fact you're looking down at him. "whatever", pushes you away and leaves without another word. the blush spreading over his face was luckily not seen by anyone.
Tumblr media
Giyuu: 
• seeing that you're taller than him, isn't something he really ponders about. you joined the hashira, you are a pillar the other slayers look up to, you are strong. that's everything he needs to know, right? wrong.
• you start talking to him - actually try to hold a conversation - he can't even run away. how come you're taller than him and always manage to sneak right into his personal space?
• but it's okay, he learns that he loves you and you love him. though he must admit, when you pulled him closer once, resting your chin on his shoulder, he felt a shiver run up his body. better not tell you, otherwise it will become a habit.
Tumblr media
Gyomei: 
• he's surprised, positively. when a hashira meeting was held and he felt an unfamiliar presence next to him, he became wary, looking to the side. he was expecting to hear a new voice, but he would've assumed it to come from anywhere but above his head. 
• you're just a bit taller than him, but that was more than enough. even reaching his height was a surprise, but being taller? anyone would be flabbergasted. he was certainly glad when you turned out to be a gentle giant in disguise.
• truthfully, you were surprised to find out he was a gentle being too. the young demon slayers always get the creeps when they see two giants walk past them, looking intimidating until the smallest thing coaxes a smile out of them.
Tumblr media
Shinobu: 
• she's used to people being taller than her. you weren't necessarily tall, not like Gyomei or Tengen, but you weren't on the small side either. she's glad to be your friend.
• her actual focus on your height was your fault to begin with. she's minding her own business, working in the butterfly mansion, when you come over to help her. she's initially happy, but a vein nearly pops out of her neck when you laugh about having to get the boxes from the top shelf.
• now she relentlessly calls you out using your height when you do something stupid. "maybe the gods should've tried to add more brain than tallness."
"maybe someone's pissed there wasn't enough height for them." you are quick to run away. in an hour or two, she will be calm enough to not poison you.
Tumblr media
Mitsuri:
• "wah! the new pillar!" she's in love with you - your looks, your presence, your personality. she's sure that you would instantly catch her eye in a room full of people.
• and then you talk to her and everything seemed great. she truly fell in love with you when you complimented her hair, called her a natural beauty. nobody was surprised when the two of you entered a relationship.
• one of her favorite things is getting picked up by you. she has fun telling you that you're tall and strong and just perfect for her. and of course, you enjoy telling her the same.
Tumblr media
442 notes · View notes
jellyfishrnice · 5 months ago
Text
Just imagine being Sevikas unofficial girlfriend/lover/situationship/ nothing serioussss 😍😍😍
Tumblr media
(Omg sevika stop looking at me like that 😩😩😩 )
Sure, you two weren't techinacly official (sevika saying you two were "just friends"), but you never really strayed from her tight hold on you, but tonight was different.
After a rather difficult argument with Sevika over her going to a brothel house for the 2nd time this month, you decided to blow off some steam at a trashy club somewhere deep in the undercity.
You were tipsy off of the many drinks you had and the music playing had you swaying to the beat in the sea of people, you hadn't even noticed but Sevika (being toxic as ever) followed you and was watching you from across the floor, sipping on some hard liquor and trying not to rip the eyes out the skull of the random person grinding on your ass.
But of course, you just had to provoke her as much as possible. The sight of you reciprocating this assholes advances by turning around to face her, grabbing her by the neck and then kissing her-
Sevika was out of her seat before she even registered what was happening. And the next thing she remembers is her fists being bloody and your screams trying to beg her to get off the other woman.
You succeed somehow and drag her off the poor girl and gripping her by the wrist out the back door before you both God in trouble, but it probably wouldn't matter anyway since Sevika gets away with everything.
Including fucking you over! (In both ways)
"God, can't you just leave me alone?!" You shouted while trying to shove Sevika but she only smirked and looked at the ground with her hands on her hips.
"Y'know if you wanted to be treated like someone random slut you could have just told me-"
"You already treat me like one anyway, so what does it matter!?" You screamed at her, the clubs music still blasting inside, you so wish you were back in there with that gorgeous woman. Too bad Sevika always has to ruin your fun.
"Like hell I do, I treat you better than anyone else could in this damn city," Sevika scoffed at your comment, don't you know how good you have it with her?
"Oh my- so you're aloud to fuck anyone in the city, but the second I start to even- dance with someone you get to storm over and-" your rant was interrupted by Sevikas lips on yours.
You only tried to push back for a second but the oh so familiar scent of her filled your nose and her dark lips tasted of whiskey and smoke. Her hands found your wrists and pinned them on both sides of your head, pushing you onto the brick wall of the club alleyway.
You heard a small groan from her before her pulling back suddenly, still close enough for you see her pretty gray eyes glazed over with lust and her soft pretty lips slightly ajar.
"missed you sweetheart," she mumbled.
You let out a shaky sigh and leaned forward again, shoving your tongue into her mouth.
She let your wrists go for a moment only to grab your by the thighs to pick you up, your legs wrapping around her muscular waist on instinct. Your hands found their way into her dark hair, gripping it tightly and invoking a beautiful groan from her.
It felt so nice and familiar to have her so close again, comforting and reliable.
And the next morning you woke up in her bed, naked, and in the same place you always find yourself; in Sevikas bed with her arms wrapped around your waist and her soft chest pressed against your back; a stark contracts to her rough hands and scared forearms. You sighed and tried to move away from her, trying to get up to leave, but she only mumbled something you couldn't hear and pulled you back into her arms. You sighed and let her hug you, dreading when she would let you go.
Sometimes, it really felt like she owned you, heart and body.
-
Not proofread but she's so toxic omggg 😫
533 notes · View notes
starlightandfairies · 9 months ago
Note
Hiii 🫶🏼 I hope you're still up for doing an Elijah request! 🤗 I can't get this man out of my head haha
Soo it would be an idea where they met somewhere in Mystic Falls and immediately felt some bond between them, so it happens that they start falling in love (she's human but knows about vampires) but she's too afraid to get hurt so she also tries not to get too close to Elijah. One night he sees some stranger following her home from the Grill and even starts attacking her, Elijah is immediately there saving her and taking her home with him to treat her wounds (mostly some scratches) and he's just super worried. There she realizes that Elijah would never be the one hurting her and they finally share their feelings with a lot of kissing and cuddles afterwards and he holds her, telling how much she means to him.
Oh I hope this is not too weird at all 🙈❤️
Description: Upon meeting Elijah Mikaelson, the feelings start to come but in fear of being hurt, the reader decides to keep her walls up to protect herself. This changes after Elijah protects her after being attacked.
Warnings: fluff, small angst, physical assault (mild), she/her pronouns, maybe swearing?
*Requests are open, please send through as many requests as you want, check my character list and requesting rules.*
Thanks so much for making this request! I can never get sick of Elijah, this man is always on my mind and please feel free to request again if you wish :) I really enjoyed writing this, thank you again :D
Key: Y/N = Your Name, POV = Point of view
Word Count: 2,125
Tumblr media
First Person's POV
Tonight at the Grill was a ‘live acoustics’ night, some of the performers were good and others were quite frankly not that great. Bonnie, Elena and Caroline were off on the next big adventure for the vampiric save-the-day business and while I knew about all the vampires, witches, werewolves and all that extra fun stuff. Besides Matt, I was the only human in the group and somehow I was pushed aside to be kept ‘safe; despite Matt always being dragged into the whirlpool of drama even if he didn’t want to be. 
“The music is wonderful for the atmosphere tonight, don’t you agree?” That voice would haunt my dreams, haunt my every thought, I couldn’t fathom how gentle and warm a voice could sound. I glanced to the side, shooting a polite smile to the impeccably dressed man and nodded in agreement. 
“I do agree, I feel like I’m in like a cute little romance story, the warm lighting and the music-“ I cut myself short, realising I was babbling to a random stranger who more than likely did not care for my ideas and thoughts. 
“I can see how you would see that.” Oh, gosh- those eyes! That smile! This man would haunt me forever, picture perfect and everything I would want in a man. I continued to share a polite smile with the man, fiddling with the straw in my chocolate milkshake and turned myself slightly to face the man a little better. 
“It’s a pleasure to meet you…?” Realising that he was waiting for my name, I placed my drink down and took his hand. 
“Y/N L/N” He softly cupped my hand, shaking it and proceeded to share his name.
“Elijah Mikaelson.” I wish I could’ve hidden my reaction better, my eyes went wide, and my smile flattened for a moment before I quickly made sure to continue to be nice and polite. Elijah carefully rested my head on the bar, took a small sip of whatever his drink was and gazed at me with a quizzical look. 
“You know who I am…” His tone was neither harsh nor hurt, Elijah seemed to have suspected my knowledge of his name and he even seemed curious by the idea of my knowledge. 
“I know of your brother Niklaus… Elena told me about you, I think she might have exaggerated a bit. You don’t seem like the antagonist she kinda painted you out to be. From what I’ve heard, you’re the nicer brother… the noble one and I'm sure first glances can be deceiving but… I don’t know- you don’t seem like a bad man.”  He briefly licked his lips, eyes shooting up to the ceiling and seemed to be contemplating his next moves. 
“I suppose you know-“ 
“That you’re a…” I leaned closer to whisper so people passing by wouldn’t hear. 
“An Original.” 
“You don’t seem to be phased.”
“Team doppelgänger has built up my immunity to supernatural beings.” I let out a weak chuckle, cringing internally and turned my focus back on my drink. I wanted to keep speaking with him, I really did want to keep speaking with him but I knew the world that I happened to live in and I didn’t fancy the idea of being bait or hurt as collateral damage. 
“It was really nice to meet you Elijah but I have to go.” He nodded, that handsome smile appearing once more, his actions made me gush and brought butterflies into my belly as he grabbed my jacket and assisted in placing it back on. 
“I hope that you have a good evening, Y/N” 
“Same to you Elijah.” He seemed to have a thought pop into his head, I stopped in my tracks, allowing for him to have the benefit of the doubt and give him the chance to speak his mind. 
“May I have the pleasure of seeing you again?” 
“Maybe… There’s always tomorrow.” I knew I had given myself away, I could feel my heart skip a beat, I’m sure he could hear it, his facial expression didn’t change but I could feel that he knew what I was feeling. 
“Have a good evening,” I whispered, brushing past him to carry on my way. 
+++++++
I had seen Elijah a couple of times since our first meeting, we had small conversations and I tried my best to conceal my heart, I didn't want to get close to this man despite enjoying his presence, his voice and the true appearance of his gentlemanly ways made me fall into a daydream greater than any story or dream I could ever have or read. 
The next time I saw Elijah was three months after our first meeting, as I said we had multiple different meetings and they were all the greatest moments of my life despite how much I tried to protect my fragile heart. I had left my home for the park, I wanted to read outside of my home and get some fresh air away from the stuffiness of my bedroom. I rested the picnic blanket underneath a large tree, I read three chapters of my book before I felt a presence looming nearby, I placed the book to the side and stood up, surveying the area for a figure and jumped in my skin seeing Elijah approaching me. 
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you, may I join you?" I nodded, smiling at the man, watching as he unbuttoned his shirt and sat down with me on the picnic blanket. He gently picked my book up, staring at the cover with intrigue, I observed him with butterflies growing in my stomach, a blush wanting to form on my cheeks as I continued to drown in what was possibly a huge crush for the Original Vampire. 
"Ignite Me by Tahereh Mafi... I'm not sure I've heard of this one before." 
"I doubt you would've, I don't exactly picture you reading a book like this?" He smiled, tilting his head slightly, a deep chuckle leaving his mouth and he handed me back the book. 
"Why is that?" 
"Well... I don't know, I picture you reading older books nothing from the late 20th century to the early 21st century." Elijah briefly nodded in agreement, I smiled proudly at my guess and fiddled with the tassels hanging off of my bookmark. The vampire took off his suit jacket and began rolling up the sleeves of his button-up, I bit the inside of my cheek, begging myself to remain calm and avoid giving away any kind of emotions being revealed. 
"Enlighten me, will you though, please? What's it about?" I cleared my throat, leaning closer to him with joy forming, giddy that he was showing interest in something that I liked and enjoyed. 
"It's the third book in the series, I've read it before, and this one is one of my favourites. Essentially the series is all about control some people have these powers and the leaders are trying to control these people. The relationship of the main characters is what I happen to enjoy the most about it, I love how Tahereh created their bond from..." 
"Why did you stop?" Elijah gently questioned, his face furrowing in concern, I wanted to cringe but I forced the words out before I could let that show. Taking a deep breath, I turned my gaze back to him, scrunching my face up briefly and proceeded to explain to Elijah what was going through my head. 
"Whenever I ramble on to the Salvatores and all that, it's clear that they don't care and I'm not wanting to force that onto you. I'm sorry." Elijah tutted, shaking his head and holding out his hand for me to take. Hesitating for a moment, I finally rested my hand in his, holding my breath for a moment and kept my eyes focused on him as he rested his other hand on top of mine. 
"You do that too often, Y/N, I can see you trying to protect your heart and you have a wide range of information waiting to come out and you shut yourself down because you expect everyone else to do that. I hope you find someone... someone who makes you realise you don't need to do that." 
"Could possibly end up being you, Elijah," I whispered.
+++++
When someone unknown came into Mystic Falls, it was always a concerning event, the vampires were always the most suspicious of strangers and most of the time they were typically right for not trusting the stranger. It was late when I left the grill tonight, Elijah was growing on my mind more and more, and I would be hit with a wave of memories at random moments. 
"Up ahead, there's an alley to your right, walk down it. Try anything-" 
"Okay... I understand." I whispered, complying as I walked a little quicker and turned down the alleyway. I cried out as I was instantly shoved against the wall, my head ached and the world spun around me, I bit back a sob as I hit the ground and hissed as the gravel bit into my skin. I kicked off my heels, not fancying a broken ankle and lept to my feet running towards the street but missed as the man tackled me to the ground and which resulted in blood slightly trickling down my forehead and more cuts forming against my skin. 
It felt like something out of a vampire movie, I heard a whoosh and then a light thud. Elijah appeared, holding the man against the wall effortlessly with one hand and easily compelled the man to walk off and not commit any sort of crime again. I let out a few sobs as the pain sunk in and the adrenaline started to fade away.
Elijah swooped me into his arms, effortlessly taking me to his mansion and rested me down on his obnoxiously large bed. He crouched down, gently cupping my face in his hands, observing my facial features and swiftly disappeared somewhere before running back. 
"Are you okay?" He questioned, focusing on grabbing the things from the first-aid kit to treat my wounds. 
"I'm okay..." I whispered, hissing as he wiped an alcohol wipe across the graze on my palm and watched as he apologised profusely for inflicting any added pain onto me. Elijah was so attentive to my needs, he cleaned the blood and dirt away from my cuts and grazes. Covering them with bandaids, doing what he could to assist in caring for me. It was as he was lingering for a moment, observing my form that I realised that Elijah Mikaelson would never hurt me. He would never cause any harm to me, Elijah Mikaelson would protect me and I knew that I wouldn't need to worry any longer. 
"You wouldn't hurt me..." I whispered, staring at the vampire as he grasped my face and held eye contact with me. 
"Y/N L/N I would never dream of hurting you, you... you're perfect... Y/N you are the epitome of perfect, I haven't met someone as intelligent, kind, sweet, and funny in a long time. Y/N I love you and I hope that you'll allow-" I pushed myself closer to him, carefully cupping his face to kiss the man who had possessed my dreams too often. 
"Elijah, please, never let me go, I can't keep guarding myself-" 
"Shhh, I've got you." He kissed my forehead, pulling me into his arms and pushing himself to lay against the headboard of his bed. I inhaled, holding onto the warm and mesmerising smell of his cologne, I curled into his chest and hummed gently as he rested another kiss on my forehead. 
I felt protected, Elijah was my guardian angel, and he made me feel warm and gooey. Made me giddy and the butterflies a constant swarm in my belly, I fiddled with his hands, staring at the family ring that rested on his finger and glanced to him as he pulled my face to meet his. I hummed as he rested a kiss against my lips, sucking in another deep breath and curling in closer as he strokes my hair, his touch comforting and loving. 
"Can I stay here? Just in your arms? Where I'm safe and with you, you Elijah who looks after me and takes the time to listen and know me?" Elijah's smile made the butterflies come to life, my cheeks flushed red and his simple words reassured me for an infinity of time. 
"Always and forever." 
837 notes · View notes
just-a-ghost00 · 1 month ago
Text
Santa tell me ~
Today, we're asking Santa about this person's true feelings for you. Do they really care about you? Are they confused? Are they just not feeling it? Let Santa spill the tea for you. Of course, this reading is inspired by Ariana Grande's song, which you can happily listen to while reading your group's content.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Group 1
5 of swords, 4 of pentacles, 9 of cups, 8 of cups, The Tower, 2 of cups, back of the deck Strength
I get a very conflicting energy from this spread. One thing that came to my mind was that this person was not prepared for you to come into their life. And even though a part of them feels like you're a wish come true for them and they definitely feel the connection between you, a part of them can't help but to fear what it means and the implications of it. This person is torn between their heart and their mind. They feel strongly attached to you, in ways that they didn't anticipate. It's like they became attached too quickly and a part of them is like "woah hold on a second, this doesn't feel right". They kinda find it suspicious for some reason that they like you. A part of them doesn't want to admit they do. A part of them wishes they could move on from this connection and close the door, even though it felt magical and just so right. Despite their inner confusion, they feel very protective of you. And I feel like they're grateful that they met you. A part of them holds on to the hope that things could get better in the future but at the same time they doubt it. I also get the feeling that you came in this person's life at a time where they were feeling confused about their own life and kinda closed off. But you opened their eyes about a lot of things and gave them hope. This person was about to give up on a dream of theirs but you prevented them from doing so. This is a very specific message, I feel. You showed this person that life was worth fighting for and for that reason they will forever be grateful and hold you in high regards. You've completely changed this person's perspective and you definitely shocked them in more ways than you could imagine, which may be why they are a little scared of the connection. What they feel is potentially stronger than what they're used to. Maybe this person hadn't been in a relationship for a while and forgot what it was like to be loved. To be honest I feel like there's more to this than what we're shown here and I feel like pulling a couple more cards to get more information. You got the page of pentacles, 6 of wands, Magician and Queen of wands.
They feel happy that they met you because their life took a turn after meeting you. You contributed to this person's happiness and well being, as well as success to some extent. They feel like they owe you a lot. They're also curious and tempted to dive deeper into the connection. They definetely feel physically attracted to you. I feel like this person's feelings for you are quite recent. They developped over time. This person may have not considered you as a potential partner in the past. You may have fell for this person first but they fell harder, I'm getting. I get this feeling of "I did not realize how much importance you had for me until I lost you". For some of you, I'm getting that you cut ties with this person or made a move that really opened their eyes about how you felt about them but most importantly about how they felt towards you. They took you for granted. I feel like, more than how they feel towards you, we're being shown how they feel thanks to you. It's like this person is focused on their own self and not really on you at the moment. They like how you make them feel more than they like you. And I feel like part of this is because this person didn't like themselves much in the past. They are learning to love themselves more thanks to you. So to some degree they feel some kind of affection towards you because of that but I don't feel like this goes any deeper.
Oracle cards | Speak truth, The Outlaw, The Wildling, back of the deck Fate
This person may contact you in the near future to reveal to you certain information that seems to be meaningful to your connection. For some, they may be trying to understand why you cut ties with them or why you said the things you told them. I'm also getting a message of them wanting to travel to gain clarity. Maybe this person is going to tell you that they would like to take their distances as well. But with the Wildling and Fate card I got a feeling like this person had an epiphany about your connection and is wanting to fight for it. Maybe they understand that part of your fate is to separate ways for a time so that you can both better assess what you want out of this connection. Again I got that feeling of curiousity and protectiveness we spoke about earlier. They feel intrigued but also challenged. Being with you, I feel, asks of them a lot of courage and stepping out of their comfort zone which they are not comfortable with at the moment. With all those swords, it gives me that kind of "up in the air" feeling. Kinda like static electricity. There's a tension between you that has not been resolved. It gives me unfinished business vibes. Like maybe you didn't really get the chance to get this relationship going so you both feel puzzled and at a loss as to what this means for you. Really, a lot of confusion surrounding this person's energy.
Tumblr media
Group 2
The Lovers rx, Chariot, King of pentacles, 4 of pentacles, Queen of cups, The Empress, back of the deck Judgement
As soon as I started to get the first cards, I heard very clearly "I made a choice. I don't mean to disrespect you but I love myself more.". The cards tell me that, as much as this person likes you, they decided to move on from the connection. This asked a lot of thinking but most importantly a lot of courage. It was not an easy decision to make. This person felt like their stability was being put at risk in your presence and they valued it too much to let it be threatened by something or someone else. This spread really gives me a "I chose myself over you" vibe. I also got the message that this person chose their career over you. I heard "now I see clearly". It's not that they didn't love you. The feelings were there. But they were not as strong as this person's love for themselves or commitment to their job. I feel like this person got really sad making this choice because they appreciate you a lot and you mattered a lot to them. And they don't want to hurt you. I really get a feeling of this person wanting to protect you at all costs but also being in a difficult position because they don't feel safe in this connection. They give me this message of "I need to protect myself and that includes taking my distances from you". This person wants me to tell you that they truly respect you and that they were genuine every time they interacted with you. They want me to assure you that it was never their intention to play with you or manipulate you. They want you to know that them not choosing you shouldn't make you doubt yourself and your beauty. I'm getting the message of "I don't want you to blame yourself for what happens". They don't want you to think that you're not loveable or worthy of a connection because they honestly think that you are beautiful and adorable. I don't know why but the imagery of the 4 of pentacles gave me the impression of someone saying "you'll always be dear to my heart".
Oracle cards | Strength, Movement, Paradox, back of the deck withdraw
It took a lot of time before this person came to the conclusion that they should move on from your connection. Part of this decision could have been influenced by their family or their ancestry. But it could also have been triggered by a significant change in their life. Specifically, I am picking up on someone's career evolving and needing more effort and attention. Like maybe they got a promotion or they were asked to move to a bigger company or to go abroad. And these circumstances were just not compatible with being in a relationship with you. And to this person it was hard because a part of them knows that you are connected and that your meeting happened for a reason. So they were thinking like "why did I meet this person only to have to turn my back on them?". It didn't make sense to them at first but now they know that they have to focus on themselves and retreat their energy, no matter how painful that may be. A part of them hopes that you can understand this decision and that you won't hold grudges against them. Also I feel like a part of them hopes that in the future their circumstances will change and allow them to come back to you, but that possibility is too unsure and they feel like they cannot bet on that.
Tumblr media
Group 3
4 of cups, The Star, The Sun, 10 of swords, Hierophant, 3 of wands, back of the deck 5 of wands
This person is a bit guarded around you but the truth is they like you more than they let on. Part of the reason why they are guarded is because they're a bit emotionally unavailable, still affected by past experience. But this person is really intrigued by you. Usually, in the 4 of cups cards, the character depicted is not paying attention to the cup that's offered. But here, the character is curiously looking at it and completely ignoring the other 3 cups. So this tells me that even if other people may be interested in your person, they only have eyes for you. They feel like you complement them well. They're also physically attracted to you. They feel competitive around you, like they have to prove themselves at all costs. This person feels hopeful when it comes to you. Even though they're scared and still hurt, they envision a bright future with you and they are genuinely considering you as a potential partner. They want to get closer to you, get to know you on a personal level. Right now they may be keeping things very light and try to appear as disinterested but certain actions may betray them. This may be someone that you interact with on social media a lot. They think that you're attractive and a lot of people may be interested in you. Which adds to their competitive spirit. Also part of the reason why they're drawn to you is because of how different you are. You and this person may come from different cultures or social backgrounds. They feel connected to you to some extent and though they envision you as a potential partner they may actually be afraid of commitment. So this person may be a bit wishy washy at times. They're making a lot of plans in their head and trying to imagine how they can navigate their way to you. They're slowly tapping into their feelings for you and trying to understand them.
Oracle cards | The Explorer, Nature, Get Creative, back of the deck Patience
I get the message that you inspire this person a lot. Their feelings for you allows them to create various things. Especially if they are an artist or enjoy art as their hobby, you may be this person's muse. When they go on walks, this person thinks about you a lot. I get the message that they only truly allow themselves to think of you and daydream about you when they're alone. This is when they can fully explore the depths of the connection and try to figure out what it means to them. When this person is alone, they're having a lot of fantasies of you. This is when they feel the most connected to you, because they don't let their ego stand in the way in such moments. I feel like this person is truly being themselves only when no one's around. In public, they may try to act tough and pretend that they don't like you. This may be a defense mechanism. This may be very specific but I get the message that this person may have been bullied in the past because of what and who they loved. This is a trauma that this person has to heal. With the patience card, I get the feeling that it will take time for them to fully come to terms with how they feel towards you and where they want things to go exactly. Because I feel like for now, this person doesn't really dare to dream of a future with you, even if they strongly feel pulled towards you. This may be because of societal expectations or pressure being put on their shoulders by their loved ones.
271 notes · View notes
sinsofnivan · 26 days ago
Note
ani x reader smut
can't stop, won't stop. — Anakin Skywalker x YOU — SMUT!
Tumblr media
SUMMARY: anakin just loves spoiling you rotten, buying you the things you want, giving you the things you want, and giving you all the pleasure you craved for.
all of it.
PAIRING: ANAKIN SKYWALKER/you.
WARNINGS: porn without plot, fingering, inappropriate use of the force, dirty talking, overstimulation, forced orgasms, save me service dom anakin, established relationship, au where the jedi council isn't really that strict yk.
WORD COUNT: 855
A/N: i can only think of one person that's name ani and that's my pookie wookie anakin skywalker. if that's not him, idrk who you mean . . . crossposted on my AO3.
NSFW UNDER THE CUT!
your cunt squelched ridiculously loud as anakin slipped his fingers in and out of your slit, his digits coated with your addictive essence. you laid on top of your boyfriend, back resting on his chest, and your body secured in place by his metal hand; squeezing and toying with one of your nipples. "ani," you squirmed, and anakin only shushed you as he licked and gently nipped on your cheek. "shh, baby," your body writhed, back arching beautifully—and anakin wished he could see it from above. 
"you don't want obi-wan to hear you, do you?" anakin whispered in your ear, a tongue tantalizingly running over the delicate shell. "or maybe you do . . let everyone in here know that you're mine," his laugh rings in your ear, and you gasped when you feel a thumb run over your soaked clit. "you like that, baby? you're clenching around my fingers so tight," before you could even say anything else, his fingers began to pump into you in an ungodly pace—and you had to slap a hand over your drooly mouth to keep the noises at a minimum. 
the tips of his fingers kept hitting in all the right places, curved upward to keep grazing against that spongy nub that made your eyes cross. a cold, familiar sensation circled around your clit, but it's not his fingers, no—you knew his fingers better than that—and you can only assume it's him using the force on you. the hand on your mouth is useless because you squealed when you feel your clit being gently pulled and pinched. "anii . . ani—! stars, oh my stars," 
"yeah? y'feel good?" you could only nod, mind only focusing on this bliss he could give you. "it feels good—love it when you fingers fuck me!" you babbled. "i don't believe you. if you really felt good—," you feel a suckling sensation on your clit, and you're left stupefied and slack-jawed. "if you really felt good, you're gonna cum. gonna make a mess all over my fingers," "but i'm not—'m not close yet," "oh, but you are,"  he cooed, doubling the intensity on your clit. "you are, baby. don't you feel that?" 
and you were at a loss for words.
coherence forgone, all you could do was stammer anakin's name. you hadn't even noticed he moves beneath you, making you wrap an arm around him as he captured your lips. it was sloppy—your tongue only languidly glissading over his. it's messy, and anakin did most of the work, but he's not complaining. he loved you like this. "come on, baby. don't you feel good? do you want me to stop?" he won't stop, of course not, but he wanted to hear how much you needed him. it always made his cock twitch under those restricting undergarments.
"nooo . . no p , please,"
there it was. his precious girl. "then you're going to cum for me, baby. you know y'wanna," another curl of his fingers against your sensitive spot makes you wail and sob, your orgasm spraying everywhere all over his hand. "theeere you go . . " anakin had his eyes affixed to your pussy—how his knuckles were glimmering with your essence, and how your cunt gushed with every slide in of his fingers. "there we go uh-huh. that's it," he kissed your temple, encouragement whispered into your ears—though, you haven't processed his words yet. and he didn't stop there, no. 
he would purposefully slide his fingers slowly, and shoving them back in swiftly and forcefully, coaxing small fountains from you. 
and you? 
you were a drooling mess—eyes barely open and only whining when anakin was riding your orgasm out with his teasing fingers. "i knew you could do it, baby." he purred, capturing your lips once. "what do you say?" "th , thank yo—♡?!" your words were abruptly cut off, his fingers began to fuck into you again, with your squirt making it easier for him to reach the deepest parts of you; the sucking sensation back on your clit—and more intense than ever. your eyes were wide, legs beginning to quiver from overstimulation, but you could feel phantom hands keep your legs spread. "a , anii—♡! m, my cunt—!"
your moans echoed around the room now, and probably outside those thin walls. he didn't care if passersby or obi-wan or whoever the fuck else heard anymore. "yeah? what's wrong with your cunt, baby? c'moon, tell me." "cunt's feelin' s, sensitive—oh my stars,♡!" "aaw, you poor thing . . . think y'just need to cum, Y/N." that thumb brushing over your clit is not a coincidence, and a grin quirks up on his lips when you screamed his name, your body doing as he says and cumming hard.
his pace doesn't stop this time, and your pussy ached with oversensitivity—and anakin could see it from how your hips bucked, trying to writhe away from his merciless fingers. "do you want me to stop, darling? want these fingers to leave your cunt empty and cold?" and oh, you precious thing. anakin couldn't stop himself from chuckling as he watched you hesitate, and then shake your head. 
"that's what i thought . . give me a kiss, baby," 
end.
A/N: i will make a part two of this, but i just want to let people know that i accept requests! <3 thank you for reading!
189 notes · View notes
vivwritesfics · 2 months ago
Text
The Devil Dances With A Smile
Chapter Two
He can't kill you. He can't bring himself to lay a hand on you. So, he falls for you instead (its a shame his employer really wants you dead)
Hitman!Max x reader
Chapter One
Tumblr media
The teachers lounge was rarely a good place to nap. Somebody was always yapping about something. On any day but today, that would have been Max. Yapping at Charles, who would yap back. 
Today, though, he was far too tired to yap. He laid his head down on the table, his energy drink forgotten in front of him. The teachers lounge was the only place he could enjoy his much needed energy drinks, especially if he didn't want the kids to see. 
"You look like shit," Charles muttered as he joined him, sipping his coffee. 
Max looked up only to glare. He quickly laid his head back onto the table and shut his eyes. 
"Jim and Sass keep you up again?" 
Oh, that was right. Back when he and Charles first started their jobs, Jimmy and Sassy were his excuse for everything. It was better that way, though. If Charles knew what he was really doing, he'd never look at him the same way. 
"Just let me sleep, Charlie," Max mumbled through a yawn. 
Leaning back, Charles sipped his coffee, but he said nothing more. He kept his eye fixed on Max, just watching him. When the bell went, he woke Max up. Snapped his fingers in front of his face to make him just a little more alert and sent him in the direction of his classroom. 
Mac moved through the day like a zombie. He barely got through it, his only aid being the red bull he kept hidden in his thermos. 
The thing about Max was that he hated coffee. Last night had been a charade; he hid every grimace behind what he hoped was a charming smile. When you topped him up for a second cup, he guessed that it worked. 
Still, he wouldn't be ordering another from you. But he would be going back. Research, he told himself. To find out why somebody would want you killed. Were you really that bad a person? So bad that somebody was willing to pay a lot of money to see you dead at his hands? He just couldn't see it. 
The school day came and went as it always did. Max stayed behind and tidied his classrooms. Put the text books back on the shelves and picked up paper left behind by the students. 
A drawing. He knew immediately which student had done it. A talented artist who had spent the lesson drawing him and Mr Leclerc from history locking lips. 
Chuckling to himself, Max shoved the drawing into his drawer. He grabbed his bag, the Red Bull disguised in his coffee thermos, and headed out. 
Max had never dreaded going to his second job before, not since his first day. But tonight? Tonight was different. 
For the first time ever, he hadn't completed the job. 
He moved slowly as he got himself showered and changed, making dinner for himself and feeding the cats. Jimmy and Sassy fussed around his legs, and Max took his time to give them attention, putting off the inevitable. 
Christian was gonna have his ass. 
Tying his shoelaces took longer than normal, but that was because he was stopping every few seconds to give his cats kisses. “I love you both,” he assured them, running his hand along Jimmy's back and up his tail. “If daddy doesn't make it home, uncle Charles is gonna take care of you, okay?” 
He swallowed the lump in his throat and headed out the door. 
Never before had Max wished for traffic. Never before had he wished for his commute to his second job to take longer than the usual twenty minutes. 
But it felt all too soon that he pulled into his parking space. He sat there for several minutes, making sure he had everything that he needed. Keys, wallet, phone. All already in his pocket. Convenient. 
He forced his brain to think up the worst that Christian could say and do as he walked towards his office. Shoot him dead was the worst he could do, tell him he's fired was the worst he could say. 
Max sucked in a breath. He pushed down the handle and opened the door, letting himself into the office. If he was a weaker man, his legs would have been buckling as he approached the desk. 
"Your target is still alive."
Max nodded as he sucked in a breath. "I know," he said. "But she's tricky," he finished. 
Christian blinked at him. "She's a waitress," he replied. "Can't you shoot her dead when she's behind the counter?" 
A sigh left his lips. "Just trust me, Christian, it's not that simple. She's got colleagues and customers, people  that care about her. I can't just kill her there; I've got to gain her trust first." 
Christian levelled him with a look. Unimpressed, but accepting. "Fine. Just get it done," he said and sent Max on his way. 
He couldn't keep putting it off, he thought as he drove towards the café. He immediately spotted you, clearing the tables by the window. He watched you pause and look out across the lamp lit street. 
Climbing out of the car, Max started towards the café. His mouth was dry as the bell above the door rang, signalling his arrival. 
You looked up as the bell rang, a smile splitting across your face. "Well hey, stranger," you said, your grin widening. Any more and your face would have hurt. 
"Nice to see you again," Max said as he slipped into the nearest seat. 
You leaned against the table. It wasn't like you were trying to flirt, trying so hard to appeal to him. But it was working. Your pretty eyes, your pretty smile. He could have stayed here all day staring at you. 
You took his order, just a coffee. But you threw in a pastry for him, a treat, on the house. 
For the first hour, Max sat there. As much as he wanted to talk to you, you were too busy working him to give him the attention that he wanted. But you met his eye, gave him a warm smile as you cleaned the rest  of the cafe. 
Finally, you leaned against the table once again, your palm flat as you angled your body towards him. "So, what? Are you stalking me or something?" 
For a moment, Max panicked. But then you laughed and his entire body relaxed. "It's not every night you meet a pretty girl in a dingy café," he replied and your cheeks heated up. The little 'no offense' he added at the end was so endearing, you couldn't help but slip into the seat. 
Max was easy to talk to, but you knew that from the day before. He showed you pictures of his cats, telling you all about them until you got called into the kitchen to run food. 
As soon as table 43 had their food, you returned to Max's table. "I still don't get what you're doing here," you said to him, not bothering to sit down this time. You only had five minutes left on the clock. "You're a teacher, a local one. You don't get the train anywhere, so why are you here?" 
His face was bright red and he pushed his hair back, swallowing. "The first time, I was just looking for something to drink. I came in today because I wanted to see you," he confessed, scratching at the back of his neck. 
You checked your watch. "Let me clock out, and then you can walk me to the bus stop again." 
Before you could walk away, before you could get changed and walk back towards him, Max grabbed your arm. Your immediate instincts had you quickly pulling out of his grip and taking two steps back. 
Max dropped his hand. He didn’t say anything, didn’t call out your behaviour. Instead, he fished his car keys from his jacket pocket. “Or I could drive you home, if you like.”
He didn’t drive you home that night. But he did walk you to the bus stop again. You stood closer to him than you would to any of your other customers. “I want to take you out at some point,” he said, staring down at you. The bus was pulling up, he only had a few seconds. “On a date.”
You didn’t gasp, you weren’t surprised. But your cheeks still heated up. “Tomorrow,” you said and smoothed down his jacket. “We’ll arrange it tomorrow.”
Max watched as you stepped onto the bus and paid for your ticket. He watched as you sat somewhere near the back. 
As soon as the bus pulled away, Max headed back towards the car. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out, swiping his thumb across the screen to answer it. “Soon, Christian,” he said, before Christian had the chance to say anything to him. “She’ll be dead soon.” He swallowed the lump in his throat as he climbed into the car. 
Christian paused for a moment. An anxiety inducing moment. ‘Lando is gonna take on the job’, that was what he was ready for him to say. “Our employer wants her dead within the next two weeks. Get on with it.”
The call ended and Max dropped his phone onto the centre console. A sigh left his lips and he began to drive, heading in the direction of the bus. There weren’t many occasions that called for Max to tail a bus, and it wasn’t all that easy. Every time the bus stopped at a stop, he parked where he could until the bus moved on. 
But then you got off of the bus and began your walk. As you got off of the bus, Max parked his car and climbed out. He followed you, ducking behind bins and bushes. You didn’t turn around, had no idea you were being followed. 
You weren’t expecting any sort of danger. Maybe it made you naive. You had no idea of the danger you were in. Max kept following you until you made it to your apartment complex. The sun was rising, the streets no longer dark. 
You were in so much danger, so much fucking danger. Max swallowed the lump in his throat. He couldn’t let anything happen to you, he knew that much.
a/n: part two! it actually feels so good to be working on a series again. for those that don't know, i'm currently working on a lestappen werewolf series (that i hope to have posted in the next week) so keep an eye out for that!
prev ! next
Taglist: @nurse-floyd
@biancathecool
@hollie911
@dreamercrowd
@the-fandom-ness
@rakshatos
@laneyspaulding19
@maximofflove
@47chickens
@scorpiomindfuck
@st-rex
@likedbygaslyy
@eveninggstar
@viennakarma
@mosaicbrokenherz
@formulas-bitch
@shimmermotorsport
@novazsq
295 notes · View notes
lanawinterscigarettes · 1 month ago
Text
Sweet Tooth (poly Joe Goldberg x gn reader x Love Quinn)
Summary: you're a big fan of the bakery, but Joe and Love are after something sweeter- you
Tumblr media
Warnings: obsessive behavior from Love and Joe but that's about it
A/N: my mom made me a carrot cake recently and it inspired me to write this
Tumblr media
Everyday you entered A Fresh Tart right after lunch, needing a little something to satiate your sweet tooth before heading back to work. Sometimes it was a cake, sometimes it was a cookie, sometimes a pie, but it was always delicious.
Love quickly caught on to your routine, always making sure she was free to assist you whenever you came in. If another customer needed help, they were just going to have to wait, because you were much more important.
The bell chimed above the door to signal that you'd arrived, prompting her to smooth out the front of her apron before putting on a bright smile. "Hey! I was wondering when you were going to come in."
"I had a meeting that ran a little late, so my lunch hour got pushed back some," you replied with a smile that mirrored hers. The unfortunate bags under your eyes didn't escape her, a sure sign that you were overworking yourself, but the faint dimples that formed on your cheeks quickly diverted her attention. How cute.
"Well, you're here now. So, what can I get for you?"
While you mulled over what kind of confection you wanted for the day, Joe peeked his head out from the back. So that's the person Love always raved about coming in just after noon. You were cute, he couldn't deny that.
"If you're having some trouble making a decision, why don't you try both and see which one you like better?" He heard his wife offer when you clearly became stuck on choosing between two different sweet treats.
"Oh, I can't do that," you began to protest before Love waved her hand dismissively at your words.
"Nonsense! It's my bakery, and I say you can have a sample if you wish," she insisted while cutting a small sliver of cake from the one in the glass display case before grabbing the second pastry you'd been eyeing, placing them both in a paper to go box. "Try both, and tomorrow you when you come in you can tell me which one you liked better."
"That's awfully kind of you. Are you sure I don't owe you anything?" You asked as she slid the box across the counter, already starting to pull out your wallet.
"Of course not! It's on the house."
Despite her words of reassurance and warm smile, you still felt as though she deserved something in return, so you took out a five dollar bill and stuck it in the tip jar. "I'll be back tomorrow at my usual time."
Her eyes twinkled with admiration at the small act of kindness. You were so much sweeter than any of the things she baked, that much was certain. "See you then."
Joe came out from the back as she was watching you leave, slightly amused at the exchange that just happened. Before he could speak, however, she beat him to it.
"I want them."
It wasn't a suggestion or a request, it was a demand, one that wasn't left open for any arguments. Love wanted you, and what she wanted she got. All she needed to do was get him on board, which shouldn't be too hard given just how irresistible you were.
The next day when you came in, Love wasn't there, having taken Henry to a doctor's appointment for a check-up, which meant the she'd left Joe in charge.
"Oh, hey," you greeted in a friendly manner despite never having met him before. "You must be Joe, right? Love told me that she ran the place with her husband."
Immediately he knew why she wanted you so much. Everything about you just screamed perfect, there was no doubt about that. "Uh, yeah, hi. She told me you were having some sort of difficulty choosing between two items yesterday," he casually mentioned, wanting you to think their marriage was much smoother than it really was. They couldn't lure you in successfully if all you saw were their problems.
"I did, you're right," you replied with a soft laugh, one that made his heart leap forward in his chest. God, no wonder Love always dropped everything just so she could see you whenever you came in. He suspected the only reason she'd offered to take Henry today was so he could officially meet you and become just as obsessed with you as she was.
"And were you able to make a decision?" He was curious about you already, curious about your personal taste, your likes and dislikes. He needed to know it all.
"Well, they were both amazing as usual, but I think I'm going to have to go with the cake. Everything about it was delicious, especially the icing," you fondly reminisced, almost beginning to salivate at the thought alone.
"Sure thing," he said while grabbing a knife to cut you a slice, unable to stop himself from thinking about just how sweet your lips must taste after every trip you made to the bakery. He'd have to try a piece of the cake himself a little later so he could imagine it properly.
Your eyes were wide with giddy delight as you observed his every move, clearly excited to be able to eat the cake when you got the chance. You were just about to pull out your wallet when he held up his hand to stop you. "Don't worry about it. Love told me to tell you it's on the house."
"You know, one of these days you're really going to have to let me repay you somehow," you commented while dropping aother five dollar bill into the tip jar, just like you did last time.
Joe was already thinking of ways for you to repay the both of them, but they were far too lewd for him to say out loud. "You have a nice day," was his response instead, giving you a small wave as you left.
Damn it, he was hooked. There was no way he could refuse Love's order, because now he wanted the exact same thing she did: you.
And they were going to have you, one way or the other, no matter what it took.
Tumblr media
End notes: I loved writing this and I'd totally be up to making a part two if anyone wanted it <3
Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated | requests are currently open
Main masterlist | You masterlist | wanna be added to my taglist?
🏷 taglist: @missmewts @ghot-girl @gilmore-angel @your-next-daydream @alexxavicry @noisy-dumb-piece-of-shit @theonetruepotato87 @caplanreblogsfics @samcvrpenters @bleachxbunny
181 notes · View notes
batboyblog · 1 month ago
Note
In the almost month since the election I’ve gone through so many emotions. I’ve felt hopelessly crushed, furious, overwhelmed, and just plain exhausted. I hate that this has happened, and that the orange shitstain is gonna put the most awful people in power. I’m not gonna lay down and die, but I’m just so tired of this. That man has slowly drained the hope out of this nation for the last ten years and I’m sick of it. I know this didn’t start with him, but he certainly emboldened blatant authoritarianism. I know every generation feels at some point the world is ending, but at this point it feels so difficult to try to have hope for the future. I believe we as a country can be better than this, but I’m not sure at the moment how we can get there.
I know the feeling, the tired part any ways.
in 2016 I was in the Hillary campaign and like we talked about HOW! bad Donald Trump could be, Hillary had a tweet "we can't trust a man who can be baited with a tweet with the nuclear codes" and for us inside the campaign we took all that very seriously for us it was not talk we meant it, we believed he was really dangerous, deeply corrupt possibly criminal already, and totally unqualified and unfit. And we said so, and no one took us seriously, I always remember a nice middle aged couple stopped at our office to get some signs they weren't from the state and were just passing through. But Democrats, supporters and I was trying to push them to maybe volunteer (as was my job) and I talked about how a Republican President (Ie Trump) could appoint up to 4 Supreme Court justices and they would surely do away with Roe V Wade. And They literally rolled their eyes at me and said "I know thats a good line but do you really believe that'd happen? they'd do away with Roe?" yes, yes we did.
So any ways I believed Trump 1.0 would be every bit as bad as it turned out to be, it was even on January 6th a little worse. So I went through the emotional roller coaster in 2016
2024 has been just sad, and tired.
But I do feel something growing in the guts of my soul, rage, pure burning rage. Someone once said that the thing that fuels every good activist is rage at the world for being imperfect. I don't know if thats right or true.
But it's whats getting me up in the morning, we offered hope, and kindness and a better world and they threw it back, well fuck 'em. This is my patch of dirt on god's good earth goddamn it and they can't fucking have it without a fight, I'm a miserable cockroach motherfucker, I will out fight them, out last them, and win and stand on the ashes of their fucking fascist dreams.
more to the point, I did feel like giving up, and saying "well they picked this, eyes wide open, now we all suffer, w/e" but I don't get to give up, Bill Clinton said "there are no permeant victories or defeats in politics" and he's right, this is the call and the cause, to struggle unendingly for the better world and if you're very lucky you live to see it turn a little and a new battle for the better of man kind than the one you spent your life on be engaged. For me personally, my nephew is trans, he's 17 looking at colleges, picking states that are safe for him. I don't have the power to protect him, I did EVERYthing in my power to stop this, because of him, and for him, I'll be out there again and again and again. I wish deals with the devil were real because I'd just go to hell so he could be safe and happy, but sadly only hard work and uncertain outcomes are real.
I have no easy answers, no clean hope of a better world or a better America about to be born from the bitter ashes of this election. Harvey Milk said "I know you cannot live on Hope alone, but without it life is not worth living" And the last 10 years, the forces of darkness have across all of society, wearing many different faces tried to take hope out of our souls, and its brought us here. My favorite speech is by Ann Richards and I quote the end a lot, but here I'll quote something she said way way back in 1988
This Republican Administration treats us as if we were pieces of a puzzle that can’t fit together. They've tried to put us into compartments and separate us from each other. Their political theory is “divide and conquer.” They’ve suggested time and time again that what is of interest to one group of Americans is not of interest to any one else. We’ve been isolated. We’ve been lumped into that sad phraseology called “special interests.” ------ No wonder we feel isolated and confused. We want answers and their answer is that "something is wrong with you."  Well nothing's wrong with you. Nothing’s wrong with you that you can’t fix in November! We've been told -- We've been told that the interests of the South and the Southwest are not the same interests as the North and the Northeast. They pit one group against the other. They've divided this country and in our isolation we think government isn’t gonna help us, and we're alone in our feelings. We feel forgotten. Well, the fact is that we are not an isolated piece of their puzzle. We are one nation. We are the United States of America.
in the 2020s we're doing it to ourselves but its helping the cynical just as much. Each of us trapped on our phones in our own personal self made hell, well not self made, there are algorithms feeling you stories designed to make you feel like shit, because when you feel like shit you stay on-line, and keep doom scrolling. We're divided and our culture, the way we speak to each other it only makes us more divided, we're rubbery and inauthentic.
So I guess, you want hope, get out there and find something you believe in and fight for it, there's a local candidate near you I'm sure you can believe in, a ballot measure, a local group, something, and break the isolation we have to talk again because if we don't, well its already eaten us alive and we're trying to get out of the whale.
194 notes · View notes
the-irreverend · 4 months ago
Text
The Inferno Theory: The Chara Theory to End All Chara Theories
Tumblr media
Here we are! Nine years of Undertale. And seeing how Chara is heavily associated with the number 9 (AND THAT TOBY FOX FINALLY TALKED ABOUT THEM), I can't think of a better way to celebrate the occasion than by dedicating this 5000-word-long theory about them? Y'all remember when people used to make long-ass theories about Chara? Yeah, they're coming back with a vengeance! To say I have a colossal hyperfixation is a massive understatement. No character in all of fiction has had a bigger impact on my life than this little rose-cheeked, cocoa-addicted freak. I’ve been a Chara fan for as long as I’ve been an Undertale fan, and you can bet that my understanding of them has changed a lot since. And now I have the pleasure of sharing said understandings with y’all!
Once upon a time, there was an aroace autistic who, like most of y’all, had a very unhealthy obsession with Undertale. And unlike most of you, he thought the Genocide Route was really fun. Most fans talk about how unhappy they felt killing everyone, but for me, I felt like a polar bear at a baby harp seal convention. I got a disturbing level of happiness out of turning everyone to dust. Hell, the only unhappiness I felt was when I couldn’t turn Monster Kid to dust.
Tumblr media
Oh well, at least I got a good consolation prize!
Tumblr media
I was one sadistic son of a gun, and so I was even more delighted to find out I had a secret admirer/partner-in-crime and that they joined in on the fun because I was such a goshdarn inspiration to them. Not wishing to disappoint my self-appointed partner, I erased the world without a second thought, eagerly awaiting what we might get to do together.
So you can guess I was pretty taken aback when, instead of a warm welcome, they started lecturing me about how I couldn’t accept the world’s destruction and that I was the one fully responsible for it (even though they were eager to take credit for it earlier). I didn’t think much of it at first. Initially, I just thought that they were just irritated that I was undoing what we had worked so hard to accomplish.
But as this game taught me time after time, you should never trust your first impressions. Those first impressions would crumble to dust when they said this.
Tumblr media
To say I was completely baffled is an understatement. Why the hell would this prepubescent genocidal maniac be so obsessed over whether or not I think I’m above consequences? So obsessed to the point they would tell me to go to hell if I told them no? It was at that moment I realized there was something more to this character than meets the eye. But for a long time, I couldn’t seem to figure out what that something was. And it didn’t seem like anyone could figure that out either.
I’m very much a veteran of the fan wars that have emerged surrounding Chara. In fact, one might even say I am a deserter of sorts, as I am a former member of the Chara Defence Squad, Offense Squad, and Neutralist Squad. But I’m not gonna be a stuck-up and say everyone’s a canon-ignoring idiot except for me and that I’m the only one who knows what Toby Fox intended Chara to be. Even though I ended up with a very different take than yours (and will certainly argue why it’s the best), I owe you all your discussions a huge debt, and I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t gotten invested in your interpretations, to begin with. Not to mention that, contrary to what some may argue, you’ve made some valid points to complement them.
And while the debate that resulted from Chara’s ambiguous morality has led to a lot of controversy and even toxicity, it has also been a source of some FANTASTIC CONTENT. Like seriously, would we have gotten those badass renditions of Stronger Than You if no one thought Chara was an awful person? Would we have gotten Man on the Internet’s beautiful rendition of Star if no one thought Chara was a good person (turned awful)?
Tumblr media
It would be utter hypocrisy for me to ask of you to approach me and my arguments (or anyone who accepts them) with understanding and good faith only to then not do the same to anyone who doesn’t agree with me. In this theory, I will definitely argue why some points made about Chara are flawed; points that you might hold yourself. But that doesn’t automatically mean that you (or your takes) are intellectually or morally inferior to mine. And besides, I’m not Toby Fox.
So with that said, why did I eventually came to disagree with pretty much everyone about Chara? Because, one way or another, I couldn’t find a take that clicked with me personally as I felt there were various inconsistencies and issues holding them back. I looked at YouTube videos, subreddits, Tumblr essays, Twitter threads, and even forums on the Steam Community. But I couldn’t really find what I thought were satisfactory answers to the questions I had about Chara’s motivations, role in the game, and relationship with the player.
And then, one day, I found those answers. It all happened when I asked myself: “What if Chara didn’t turn against me… because they were always against me from the start?!”
I don’t mean that Chara only saw you as a means to an end. I mean that YOU were the end. What if Chara didn’t use you so they could screw over the monsters but they used the monsters so they could screw over YOU.
You probably think I’m insane, don’t you? And you’re right! I AM INSANE! AND SO IS THIS WHOLE DAMN THEORY!!! But somehow, someway, it just works!! And I’ll show you why and how!!!
What you are about to read is the culmination of six years of reading and critiquing Chara takes and theories of every kind and quality, whether it be Judgement Boy’s Who is the Real Villain of Undertale to Wandydoodles’ Oblivion Theory. Six years of examining the arguments and counterarguments of Chara defenders, offenders, and neutralists alike. Six years of looking in every corner of the UTDR fandom. From the tranquil lands of Quora. To the dark recesses of Reddit. To the intellectual wastelands of Twitter. To the fiery hellsite of Tumblr. So, without further ado, get ready for some of the most pure, unadulterated, high-octane, universe-collapsing neurodivergence you’ve ever seen in your life!!!!!
Part 1: The demonic heritage of the "demon who comes when people call its name".
Have you ever had one of those moments where you’ve asked yourself, “What the actual hell is this guy talking about?” I bet you’re having that moment right now. Everything about their character post-death, including their motives, their methods, and their relationship with you, is perfectly reflected in one of their most famous (or rather infamous) lines:
Tumblr media
When most people hear the word demon, the first thing that comes to mind is a being made of pure evil whose only purpose in life is to destroy all things good in the world. Right?
Well, yes, but actually, no. It’s a little more complicated than that. To argue that Chara is a demon because they’re simply “an evil little twerp that enjoys being evil” doesn’t do them or their role in Undertale justice (although that hasn’t stopped people from trying to argue that). To understand why calling themselves a demon is EXTREMELY important, we need to dive into the wonderful (and totally not controversial) world of religious beliefs!
In ancient and modern religions, demons are a little more complex than just ethereal jackasses with a vendetta against virtue and righteousness. Though they vary from faith to faith, most demons have a specific set of qualities and tropes that make them integral to whatever faith they’re in. You also see these demonic qualities in fiction that’s derived or inspired by religions, and since Undertale’s lore and worldbuilding have a heavy emphasis on the spiritual and divine, you can see them in Chara. Since Undertale is a game of “Western” origin, you can definitely see they share qualities that are all too familiar with devils of “Western” religions. In classic devil fashion, they target those with weak integrities or suspect morals; they tempt you with the promise of fulfilling your desires at your and everyone else’s expense; they’re able to control your body as you grow their power through your sins, and hell, they even do the thing where they make a deal for your soul. Also...
Tumblr media
But though it's evident that Chara encourages you to do “evil,” THEY THEMSELVES are not responsible for it. Yes, Chara encouraged you to kill, but YOU are the one who acted on those encouragements. In fact, YOU are the one who encouraged THEM to help you out! They walked down the dark path with you, but you didn’t really give them anywhere else they could walk. You had all the power and every chance to turn back and no reason to keep walking. And yet you persisted.
But that does beg the question, why did you walk it at all? What could possibly inspire you to give all of these characters happiness, satisfaction, and peace and then rip it all away? Because you decided that giving everyone the most satisfying ending was not satisfying enough for you. Because there was more that you could experience for yourself, even if it meant making everyone else experience something absolutely horrific. It wasn’t enough for you to fill the glass only halfway. You needed to fill it to the brim. You wanted to reach the absolute. Even if doing the Genocide Run was a bad experience for you, you CANNOT deny it was a fulfilling one. And Chara knows it, too. It ain’t exactly a coincidence that fulfillment and fullness are recurring motifs in Chara’s character.
Tumblr media
Like all demons, Chara is able to tempt the wicked and sinful by targeting our greatest weaknesses and deficiencies. It’s no different from how Succubi and Incubi target those who succumb to the sin of lust. That’s why you won’t go after my aroace ass anytime soon. But I digress.
But Chara doesn't just tempt us by exploiting our need to fill the glass to the brim but also because of how they exploit the satisfaction we get from watching it fill up, that is to say, the satisfaction that comes from trying to achieve fulfillment.
We humans are addicted to progression as much as we are to completion, and in an RPG like Undertale, the satisfaction of progression comes in the form of NUMBERS. Not just the numbers that flash on the screen when you battle enemies but also the ones that go up when you finish said enemies off, whether it be your hit points, experience points, and so on. And Undertale isn’t any ordinary RPG; it’s one where its RPG elements are interwoven into the fabric of the game’s universe. Because of that, Chara is able to use these elements in their world to influence those outside of it.
Tumblr media
But Chara does not just influence us through the numbers that increase but also the ones that decrease. That’s why the first thing they do when we reach Snowdin is give us a tally. 
Tumblr media
It’s not just there to measure progress. It’s also there to incentivize us to keep progressing. It gives us a small dose of satisfaction that’s enough to distract us from the mundanity and misery of the murder run, like a loading bar on a loading screen. And just like with loading screens, the farther it progresses, the harder it gets to turn away. Why would you want all the lives you’ve taken and the stats you’ve gained to amount to nothing? Why would you want to hit reset and go through those brutal fights with Sans and Undyne again? You can’t empty out the glass, not when you’re that much closer to filling it to the brim. Speaking of Sans and Undyne, it’s quite interesting that even though they barely know you, they know exactly why you won’t take your foot off the pedal, so to speak.
Tumblr media
But that’s not the only thing driving you, isn’t it? Chara knows that there was something else that was spurning you along. Something more powerful and more dangerous than your addiction to progression and completion: PRIDE. 
Perhaps the real reason you kept giving in to sin until it was far too late was because you didn’t think it would be too late. You didn’t hold back because you thought you would be able to go back. You thought you could just absolve your sins with the press of a button like you did in countless worlds before. You thought you could dive in, touch the bottom, and come back out of the water. But what were you getting into? How deep would you have gone? And would you have gone in if you knew you couldn’t possibly return? You know you wouldn’t. And Chara knows it, too. That brings us back to the dialogue I showed you at the beginning of this theory. The one said changed everything I knew about this character, and I firmly believe that this is the MOST important line of dialogue in the entire franchise.
PART 2: THE PART WHERE I (PRETEND TO) DESTROY 9 YEARS OF ESTABLISHED FANON!
When I say that that little blurb about being above consequences is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL, I do not say that lightly. It isn’t just important to Chara's character, but the game of Undertale as a whole! Anyone who’s serious about Chara’s character should never take this for granted because Chara sure as hell does not.
It’s not just our refusal to accept the world’s destruction that’s a huge-ass deal to Chara; it’s the arrogance and complacency that accompanies it, rooted in the position and privileges we have as the player. It matters to them so much that they’re willing to completely forgo bartering for our soul (which they say they want) if we don’t admit that we have that belief!
And yet, despite Chara taking this subject so seriously, the people who are analyzing their character ironically don’t. Generally speaking, most people simply brush this line off as nothing more than something they do to help them on their quest to achieve their goals. So, with that said, let’s talk about what those supposed goals actually are.
In all my years of reading and assessing countless Chara theories and interpretations, I’ve discovered that everyone actually agrees on what Chara's goals are. They just can’t agree on why they want them. Said goals are A) reach the absolute, B) max out their numbers/power, C) erase the world, and/or D) eradicate all monsters. But what if it’s actually the other way around? What if those things were the means to an end rather than the ends themselves?
What if the true goal of the “demon who comes when people call its name” was just like that of the demons of old: not to be your partner in crime, but to torment and punish you for your crimes? To make you face CONSEQUENCES!
I’m not making this argument simply because it makes Chara look more badass (though I think it totally does, lol). I firmly believe that Undertale’s post-Genocide content is written so that Chara’s character can only make sense if that was Chara’s goal from start to finish. Because if Chara’s endgame was any of those four I mentioned earlier, their character kinda falls apart because they're awfully inconsistent about fulfilling them. And those inconsistencies are evident in the Second Geno Ending.
Discrepancy 1) They say they will “appear time and time again” to help us “eradicate the enemy and become strong,” and yet they call us perverted for eradicating everyone time and time again.
Tumblr media
You can argue that they didn’t want us to recreate the world in the first place and just move on to another world, but if so, why let us come back at all? And if it’s to get our soul, why do they keep around this world after we have it? This leads us to...
Discrepancy 2) They tell us to ERASE the world and move on to the next, and yet they allow us to restore it without a hitch after we give them our SOUL, seeing how there’s no black void when we start the game again.
Tumblr media
If Chara was powerless to stop us from coming back, this wouldn’t be such a big deal. But they CLEARLY DEMONSTRATE that they’re able to stop the player from restoring the world, as seen in the first post-genocide ending. And yet they don’t use this power after the first time the world is erased (WHICH YOU WOULD THINK THEY WOULD WANT TO USE SINCE THEY WANT TO ERASE THE WORLD AND MOVE ON TO ANOTHER)! Seeing how the world is back again without us doing anything makes the restoration of the world like something that Chara CHOSE ON THEIR OWN VOLITION. And what makes this all the more damning is...
Discrepancy 3) They tell us they’re down bad for increasing our ATK, DEF, EXP, and LV to the max and erasing the world and everyone in it, and yet they TELL US TO DEVIATE FROM THE ONLY ROUTE THAT ACCOMPLISHES THAT (which, as stated before, they call us perverse for doing it again).
Tumblr media
So, let me get something straight. You tell us you want to ”eradicate the enemy” and “ erase this pointless world,” and yet not only are you allowing us to undo all of that, you want us to do something INSTEAD OF THAT??? It’s funny how you lecture us about how we cannot accept the world’s destruction BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, YOU WON’T EITHER!!!!! Also, before I forget...
Discrepancy 4)
WHAT KIND OF MISANTHROPE DEDICATES THEIR WHOLE LIFE TO WIPING OUT HUMANITY, GETS GIFT-WRAPPED A CHANCE TO DO THAT, AND THEN JUST PASSES IT UP?!?!?!
Tumblr media
On behalf of misanthropes everywhere, I am DEEPLY disappointed in you!
So it doesn’t matter if you believe Chara is always evil, good, or detached from morality entirely. Because Chara has the same goal across all versions, they all succumb to the same inconsistencies!
Funny how most people see them as this embodiment of the addictive nature of levelling up and consuming everything in a piece of media and all that jazz WHEN THEY SEEM TO CASUALLY GIVE UP ON IT!!!!!!
And if you argue they want a Soulless Pacifist Run when they suggest “another path,” then ask yourself, what does that give them that a Genocide Run doesn’t? Keep in mind, aside from a scribbled-out photograph, we don’t see how many monsters or humans they killed besides the main characters or how much power and stats they gained from it. And it’s not like we see them erase the world afterward since only the genocide run has that infamous wall of red 9s. Not to mention, the genocide run is the most secure way of accomplishing their goals since they have the backing of the player. Not only that, but it’s also the safest and most efficient way to erase everyone and increase stats to the fullest, and we all know how Chara feels about efficiency.
So Chara has no reason to pick the Soulless pacifist ending over the Genocide Run if they want to achieve their end of increasing numbers and consuming the world… unless those things were a means to an end rather than ends themselves.
Tumblr media
Indeed it is coming together! That’s the other reason their statement, “You think you’re above consequences,” is so damn important! They’re not telling us why we sinned, but it reveals they intend to make us suffer for those sins, and how.
That’s why Chara is seemingly so inconsistent about erasing the world. Because it was never about the world. It was all about YOU.
[SIDE NOTE: I’m sure many of you will point out that if Chara wanted us to get a Soulless ending in this world, then why would they encourage us to “move on to the next?” I don’t think this is too big an issue for two reasons. First, this line is meant to emphasize that, like all demons, Chara is inescapable and that no matter what world you go to (within their own universe), Chara will always follow you now that you’ve unleashed them. Second, because their goal concerns us and not the world they’re a part of, their character avoids the aforementioned inconsistencies that hamper the other Chara theories much more severely, in my opinion.]
Part 3: Contrapasso
Now I’m sure some of y’all might think that Chara doesn’t need to yearn for our torment to achieve the impact of the Soulless ending and that just because Chara is a demon doesn’t automatically mean they need to screw us over. You are right in that not everyone who makes a Faustian Bargain needs to have malicious intentions toward the people they’re taking advantage of (Kuybey from Madoka Magica is a great example of that). But Chara does need it! Not only does it make their character more narratively cohesive, but also makes their character more thematically impactful. And it’s more in tune with their demonic nature for them to want to torment us.
Because demons represent something more terrifying than evil itself. They represent the terrible price of embracing it, a price that all evildoers fear more than anything, and that all demons want seek to inflict upon us. Like most demons, Chara isn’t encouraging us to sin to fill the emptiness in our soul (or even their own). They did it to perpetuate that torturously empty and unfulfilled state for all eternity, a state which even themselves now endure.
Now, you’ve probably noticed that I’ve talked a lot about the themes of fulfillment and emptiness, and it’s for a good reason since those themes are heavily featured in Undertale. I mean, how could it not? Because concepts of demons, hell, and sins (which are explicitly mentioned in the game) are deeply intertwined with the concept of emptiness. The theologian Thomas Aquinas once defined evil as not a presence but as an absence (of that which is good). Darkness is the absence of light; war is the absence of peace; bigotry is the absence of tolerance; pride is the absence of humility, etc. You see this reflected in not just Christian theology but also fiction as a whole, as a lot of villains are motivated by a desire to obtain something that they believe can’t be without. Whether it be wealth, status, recognition, power, the death of an individual, or even just sadistic pleasure.
Since demons are beings that are inseparable from evil itself, the life of a demon is forever cursed by unceasing and unbearable emptiness. Hell, the word damnation originated from the Latin word damnum, which literally means loss! They’re not exactly partying in hell while your immortal soul is being slow-roasted for eternity. They’re burning in that lake of fire and brimstone along with you! They can’t end their damnation, not because they don’t want to but because they simply can’t. They’re fated to be bereft of the satisfaction or fulfillment found in Heaven or Earth, a fate that is worse than death in every sense of the word, especially since they can’t experience death anymore. Because of that, a demon embodies what is perhaps the most terrifying form of evil of all: not one rooted in a desire to rid the emptiness and unfulfillment within themselves, but a desire to inflict them upon others. Because as a wise philosopher once said:
Tumblr media
We see this horrific state of mutually assured suffering everywhere across fiction. From goofy, lighthearted tokusatsu's...
Tumblr media
...to nightmarish sci-fi dystopias...
Tumblr media
...to a little indie game made 9 years ago.
Tumblr media
Oh yeah. Don’t think I was gonna talk about emptiness without mentioning everyone’s favourite homicidal fauna-turned-flora, especially not with lines like this.
Tumblr media
Take one to know one! And it can’t be a coincidence that the game emphasizes the theme of emptiness when giving the spotlight to the three characters that have committed the most “evil”: Flowey/Asriel, Chara, and YOU.
Quite the unholy trinity going on here, eh? It truly is fascinating how the emptiness led us to work with each other to exterminate all monsters. And it’s also interesting how the unique kind of emptiness we have eventually led us to work against each other. Whether it be Flowey wishing to preserve his sentimentality for his long-gone sibling, us players wanting to maintain our (perverted) sentimentality for the world of Undertale, or Chara weaponizing these sentimentalities to exact their misanthropic hatred.
Remember how I said that Chara was a lousy misanthrope because they keep letting us bring back the humans they wanted annihilated when they were alive? That does make them a lousy misanthrope… unless their misanthropy found a higher priority target: YOU!!!!! Chara’s desire to torment us didn’t come out of thin air. The same hatred that drove them to wipe out the humans of their world years ago is the same hatred that’s driving them to get at the humans of our world, even if it means destroying those who once embraced them. And now, that hatred is more potent and destructive than ever before, so much so that it’s no wonder Toriel was able to feel it when she endured that fatal blow after the Geno Run began.
Tumblr media
Do you think witnessing what soullessness did to sweet little Asriel wasn’t already terrifying and tragic enough? Just try to imagine what it could‘ve done to a vengeful, traumatized, chocolate-addicted problem child so consumed by hatred that they poisoned themselves just for a chance to wipe out their own kind. All of that hatred of humanity is still alive and well, and now it has no humanity to hold it back. 
And what could be a more fitting target for a MISANTHROPE that calls themselves a DEMON… than a HUMAN that wants to play GOD?
After all, the only thing demons love more than tormenting mortals is warring with Gods.
Tumblr media
Why else do you think that Chara winks right at you if we make Frisk stay with Toriel? Because that’s who the Soulless Ending was meant for. It’s when they’re finally able to unleash all that animosity and hatred that’s been lurking behind that smile ever since we killed everyone in the Ruins. It’s the moment that they’ve been patiently waiting for because they knew that’s when it would hit you the hardest.
And what makes the Soulless Pacifist Ending very special compared to other “bad endings” isn’t simply because they destroy those we pretend to care about (may I remind you that you did do the genocide run, after all). But they destroy something much more valuable to us as the players: OUR OMNIPOTENCE. Chara doesn’t destroy people for the sake of destroying them. But because in doing so they destroy our arrogant belief that nothing could possibly challenge the invisibility and invulnerability we players take for granted.
It's all too human that those with the most power are the least willing to lose it (or even take responsibility for it). And in a world where we should have absolute power, we thought there would be no consequences for abusing it. So what could be a more fitting and frightful punishment than having to actually face them? Missing out on the best ending in a video game is one thing. But to forever lose the power to achieve it ever again?! Now that’s terrifying!
Throughout myth, legend, and religion, sinners are often punished in a way befitting of the sin they’ve committed. In Greek Mythology, Tantalus was damned for trying to feed the Gods the flesh of his murdered son with eternal hunger and thirst despite being within arm’s reach of water and food. In Dante’s Inferno, those who succumb to wrath are forever doomed to fight each other in a river of mud. And since Undertale is no stranger to concepts such as hell, sins, and demons, you can damn well be sure that there’s going to be damnation fitting for the sins that drove you to complete the genocide run.
You completed the Genocide Run because you believed ending their lives would be fulfilling. Now, you can no longer get any fulfillment out of saving their lives.
I mean, where else can you get your precious fulfillment? Those paltry neutral endings? They only offer a fraction of what the pacifist ending offered. And the genocide ending has been drained of its satisfaction like the pacifist! Would you do all that tedious grinding and brutal boss fights just to hear your so-called “partner” lecture you again on perverted sentimentality and say you should choose another path, even though there’s nothing that they could offer? Of course not. In the end, you’re just like poor Tantalus agonizing in the pits of Tartarus, feeling the water vanish from his hands just before it touches his lips.
The ultimate triumph of Chara isn’t making you suffer a total defeat, but perhaps something much worse to you as a gamer: a pyrrhic victory. It’s like having a Twinkie that's been drained of the creamy center. Everything is still there except the thing you treasure most. You’re damned to play a challenge forever deprived of any and all fulfillment you once got from it, a satisfying journey that will always be doomed to reach a dissatisfying destination.
In the end, Chara leaves you with the world exactly as they described it the first time they met you face-to-face: POINTLESS.
You can have the world exactly as it was before (and the people within it). But in the end, Chara will always have the last laugh.
Figuratively and literally.
Welcome to hell!
Tumblr media
Part 4: Why Consequences Matter
Woooooo!!! Man, that was quite the read, wasn’t it? And yeah, I wasn't kidding when I said this is going to be autistic as all hell! I don’t doubt you have a lot of thoughts in your mind, and then you’re gonna share them by the time you’re finished reading this post. Some of you might think this is the Chara theory to end Chara theories. Some of you believe that this is the worst thing that has happened to this fandom since Sebastian Wolff. Some of y’all, I’m whitewashing them because I argue they’re driven by a desire to punish the wicked by any means necessary. Some will think I’m demonizing them because I say that they’re, well, a demon. 
[SIDE NOTE: Just so I don’t miscommunicate what I believe about Chara’s morality, here are some key points to take away from this theory. A) Chara sought to make you pay for the evil you committed. In fact, the idea that the Soulless Ending is Chara punishing our sins has been around for a while, especially by those who think Chara was “corrupted. B) However, in this theory, Chara's actions are all done with the intent of accomplishing that goal. This means that Chara was aware of what they were doing, they wanted to do it, and that THEY KNEW IT WAS EVIL. C) But you still have to remember that Chara is also A LITERAL CHILD. And D) They’re a child who endured a great deal of hardship (and possibly trauma), which made them so embittered and vengeful. Also, E) Remember that they’re also soulless, just like Asriel when he was Flowey.]
But I think most of you were gonna look at this interpretation of Chara and feel the same thing that I have about most of yours: a take that’s not without issues, but not without a fair bit of interesting points.
But regardless of what you think of this theory overall, there’s one thing I won’t leave up for debate: I deeply treasure Chara’s character. Not just because I think they’re fun, cool, or interesting but also because I firmly believe they’re invaluable Undertale. And yet, at the same time, I think they’re severely undervalued by the fandom. And who can blame them?
The characters of Undertale speak very little of Chara, and Chara speaks for themselves even less. But just like Johan Liebert from the anime Monster, even though they’re not seen too often, they still manage to exert a massive presence and impact within Undertale’s narrative. And that presence is made all the more impactful because they perfectly represent the themes of the narrative: and that theme is CONSEQUENCES, or more accurately, the CONSEQUENCES OF VIOLENCE.
From the violence that drove Chara to climb Mt Ebott to the violence their brother Asriel inflicted in hopes of being with them forever. From something as grand as a war between two civilizations to something as small as dismembering a snowman. Everywhere you look, you will see that violence (and its repercussions) haunts the story and characters of Undertale. But what makes Undertale stand out from other media that tackles this subject is that it’s not just an integral part of its narrative but also its metanarrative. The most ingenious way it does this is by giving meaning to the actions/mechanics that we take for granted, specifically monster encounters.
Our Lord and Saviour Toby Fox said it best:
Tumblr media
Because the monsters of Undetale are treated as something more than just enemies to be killed, there are going to be consequences for choosing to kill them away. Some argue that it goes too far in how it admonishes you for killing even a single monster, even to the point of being preachy (I’m looking at you, ScottFalco, but that’s a response for another day).
That argument is deeply flawed because it fails to account for the fact that without these ramifications, the game’s themes would be rendered null and void. The last thing that a game with a narrative centred around the consequences of violence can afford to do is afford you the luxury of avoiding them. And that principle especially applies if you dare to choose nothing BUT violence. //////If you were to bring them all back as if nothing happened, then your decision to commit genocide would be completely meaningless, which would totally disservice Undertale themes regarding violence. There needs to be consequences. LASTING CONSEQUENCES. Undertale can’t drive home its messages and them without lasting consequences. Undertale can’t deliver those consequences without Chara in the driver’s seat. And Chara’s character can only be at their most narratively cohesive and thematically impactful if seeking to make us suffer consequences was their intended destination.
Regardless of whatever detail about Chara you’re discussing or what side of the discussion you’re on, one thing is very clear: they’re absolutely essential to Undertale in the same way that Mephistopheles is essential to Faust, the Cenobites are essential to Hellraiser, and Kuybey is essential to Madoka Magica. And they’re the only ones with the means, motives, and deep-seated misanthropy to hold this whole damn game together.
Sans is right. We deserve to be burning in hell for what we did to those poor monsters. And I can't think of anyone more qualified to have us humans “burning in hell” than a self-proclaimed demon with a seething hatred of humanity.
And how fitting is it that the skeleton who judges our sins is followed by a human child who punishes us for them?
BUT HEY, THAT'S JUST A THEORY!
A CHARA THEORY!
THANKS FOR READING!
226 notes · View notes
lostiolite · 6 months ago
Note
hii can you write something about monoma having a crush on a 1-A reader who has a personality like him but a little more nicer? have a great dayy
Everyone is better than me
Monoma x reader oneshot 0.6k words
You’ve always felt like a side character, worthless, expendable. it's something that kind of haunts you. You were surprised when you got into U.A. 
But, oh, your classmates. they were the best people on earth (except Mineta). Midorya went through so much to improve. Bakugo, despite being an asshole was talented, he had every right to brag with a quirk like that. Ururaka’s bubbly persona never failed to lift people’s spirits. Mina and Kirishima were the best people to give you motivation. Momo always tried to get you to understand your worth but you didn’t seem to budge.
You were kind of overwhelmed to be surrounded by such awesome people. They were practically shining stars, so much so that it blinded you. You wish to shine as bright as they do but you know you never will. Despite feeling inferior to them,  you couldn’t be more thankful to them.
Your class was your lifeline and you always praised them. Your classmates have been targeted and come out triumphant every time. Why wouldn’t you be proud? You would praise your classmates, obviously not in an obnoxious way like a certain someone, who always seemed to try and 1-up you when you talked about them.
You were always talking about them– not yourself, which caught the attention of Kendo, who recently worked with Momo. 
You were eating lunch with Mina in the cafeteria. You two were brainstorming on a class project and decided to sit away from the rest of your friends because you would get distracted. 
Unfortunately, Mina had to use the bathroom, leaving you alone. This is when Kendo came up to you, asking you about school. 
You started talking about what the rest of your class was doing in detail, making sure to praise them. Monoma who was in the area noticed, he tried to one-up you like always before Kendo karate chopped him. Kendo then cocked her head, returning her attention to you.
“And, what about you?” 
You were stumped. You just assured her that there was nothing interesting going on with you. She stopped you, asking why you didn't wanna talk about yourself. You were kind of stunned at her bluntness, she went straight to the point. You sighed,
“Because I'm not as amazing as them, and I probably never will be. But, I don't think that matters, because being able to support them is enough for me.” 
She gave you a somber smile. she didn’t really know what to say, which was new. She usually knew how to cheer people up. She’d have to get back to you later, her focus was now on Monoma, whom she half expected to start dogging on you. He didn’t say anything though. 
She waved you bye and retreated back to her table.
That's when everything kind of clicked for Monoma. 
He was usually intellectual and able to grasp others' emotions and feelings, but when it came to class 1-A and by association, you, he went on autopilot. His main objective was to dogshit on 1-A to bring light to 1-B accomplishments and that they were just as great as 1-A. 
Ever since then, he’s seen you in a different light, maybe even developed a fat fucking crush.
Mentioned before, but he goes on auto pilot when around class 1-A, so he doesn’t realize when he says things like–
“Maybe take a note out of [name]’s book and be more humble, because you look like a fool” he’d say taunting Bakugo.
One time bakugo called you an extra when you offered him help in a subject he was struggling in (which is rare for bakugo), and suddenly Monoma appeared behind him.
“Maybe that’s why you bombed the test, you think you're better than everyone huh— your fragile ego can't take a hit so you have to take it out on [Name]! Be grateful someone like them is even offering help to such a lowlife braindead creature such as yourself!”
That's when Deku caught on.
Monoma not-so subtly praising you is something most of 1-A doesn’t really take note of, but Kendo and Deku are absolutely appalled.
326 notes · View notes