#I really was delusional when I was younger thinking that they would cause me no issues
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setmeatopthepyre · 1 day ago
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Hey so I'm either delusional or onto something or both but the three calls in 08x06 kind of work perfectly as references to bucktommy's storyline as a past/present/future.
Past: Misdirects (07x04 throwback) Call 1: The mom in the urn. This scene was actually originally shot for 07x04 from what I can gather, and it fits perfectly in that episode's theme of misdirection. First, the audience (and the first responders) assume the actual live mother of the caller is being kidnapped. Misdirect: it's the dead mom's ashes in an urn. We then assume the husband is worried about losing his mom's ashes. Misdirect: it's actually the urn that's worth a ton of money.
This call fits right in with the other storylines that episode, most importantly the one that leads to Buck's bi awakening and Bucktommy's first kiss: Buck & the audience think Buck is jealous of Eddie spending more time with someone else, but it turns out to be Tommy's attention he's actually after. This is how they meet, this is their past.
Present: Spilling guts and breaking up (08x06) Call 2: The messy messy divorce. A married couple are fighting out a divorce in a lawyer's office. The husband keeps sneezing whenever he lies, causing him to pop his stitches and literally and figuratively spill his guts. The messy truth comes out, and despite this there's a touching moment where he lies that he never loved her. The wife and Buck have a one-on-one talk in which she tells Buck "He lied, he really did love me." and Buck says "I'm sure he did. Does." To which she replies, "Saying he didn't love me is the most beautiful lie he's ever told." It still ends in a messy split with hurt feelings.
Here we have a pretty clear reference to what's happening and is about to happen in this very episode between Buck and Tommy. The messy guts of both of their pasts pertaining to Abby have or will be spilled. The breakup takes both of them by surprise. To quote the lawyer(?) the husband in this scene was having an affair with: "One minute he was fine and the next was like a bomb went off." The audience goes through quite a similar journey. Where the scene opens with one lawyer saying that the process "doesn't have to be painful", we leave feeling absolutely eviscerated.
Future: Pushing away & lifting up (??x??) Call 3: The boy in the pipe. We have an older brother being annoyed by the fact that his younger brother constantly wants him to read to him. When the younger brother asks again, the older brother lashes out and tells him to go away. When he realizes his mistake, the younger brother has wedged himself into an exposed pipe in the yard, underground and in the muck where no one can reach him. When the 118 show up, it's determined that the only one who can pull the younger brother out, is the one who pushed him away and inadvertently caused him to be down there in the first place: the older brother.
So yes, this call is clearly set up to make Chimney realize how having another kid would mean Jee-yun has another person looking out for her and vice versa. However, the specific backstory/build-up of the older brother pushing the younger one away doesn't relate to Chim's situation at all. It does sound a lot like Buck & Tommy's break up, where both parties clearly love and care for each other (though in a different way than familial, clearly) but one still ended up pushing the other away - and, I assume, regretting it. This could be foreshadowing a future in which Buck is down in a dark place (heartbreak), with only one person who is exactly the right fit to save him: the very guy who put him there in the first place.
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longfurbybitchboi · 1 year ago
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Having much older siblings just makes you nihilistic and have trust issues. Honestly I can’t believe my parents raised these people.
Brb having average sibling experiences with my sibling who is close to my age
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alittlebitofrainbyyourside · 6 months ago
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I had 1 (one) good day of like 'oh yeah, I'm a human and I know how to talk to people' and immediately after it was followed by my brain doing it's Shit.
#dear brain- shut the fuck up#'Kris why do you consider yourself the craziest person in any room you're physically in'#because most of those people don't have hallucinations and delusions.#they don't hear voices.#they don't dissociate so hard that they lose grip on reality#they don't cry because they're not sure if something is real or not and because they know the fact that they're questioning it...#whether or not it is a delusion or a hallucination- or really their the fact that they're questioning reality at all is bad#I say 'I believe xyz and I know it's not real' and people think that's Well Adjusted of me#or they're not sure what it means to believe something and know it can't be real#but it's how I have to live because trying to keep my foot too firmly in either door#the delusion isn't real. or that it doesn't exist at all-#caused me so much distress when I was younger#but sometimes. sometimes I open my mouth and a new delusion comes out and I only know I've been delusional based off of the horror#or confusion on people's faces#and because I am a Well Adjusted Crazy now#and I don't run in Mad Pride circles anymore#and I make sure I get enough sleep and I make sure I get enough to eat and I stop and I breathe and I make sure I get movement#I do All The Healthy Things just to have a fucking base line that allows me to mask#because I couldn't always.#and do you know how much I fucking hate that i have to do *so* much just to still believe there's a siren living in the train station#and that sometimes I can't take the train home because I know i'm not strong enough to avoid her song#but if I said that outloud everyone would just think I was writing poetry again#look at the metaphor- it's a little on the nose don't you think?#I am a Well Adjusted Crazy now. Did my time in the white rooms and the couches. If my therapized self was a human- it'd have graduated#it'd have a degree.#I guess in many ways... it does.
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Baby
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❥Yandere Park Seonghwa x fem reader
SPOOKTOBER SPECIAL
➯a/n: this is a work of fiction and does NOT represent a healthy little and caregiver relationship, or a healthy relationship of any kind. this is messed up but i wanted to experiment with my writing and i think i succeeded. let me know what you think of this cause i would love love looooove to write more
✃ "You're my baby, say it to me." - Mitski, I Bet on Losing Dogs
✫彡wordcount: 4k
♡'・ᴗ・'♡(ಡ‸ಡ)genre: yandere, HEAVY angst
ಠ_ಠwarning/content: stockholm syndrome, mind breaking, spanking, mentions of bribery, mommy hwa (i cannot help myself)
⁂taglist: @stvrfir3 @tunaasan @marievllr-abg
✩index: little space; a regressed state of mind where one feels like a child. hyung; a name for an older male friend or sibling, used by other males.
MATURE UNDER CUT MDNI
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    "I'm home, sorry I'm late!" Seonghwa called out as he entered the apartment, looking around the empty rooms. "Baby?" He peeked into the kitchen, dinner untouched on the stove. "San?" The living room, the news channel on mute. "Mingi?" Both of his roommates rooms, desolate.
"No!" Your shout calls him to his room at the end of the hall, followed by a clanging and a yell of pain from his friend.
"Baby?! Baby!?" He turns into his room in a panic, eyes wide as he witnesses the scene infront of him.
You're curled up in a ball in the corner of his bed- head in your knees- with San holding Mingis arm as he curses under his breath, one of your bottles on the floor at their feet. "Hyung," He turns quickly and picks up the bottle, pointing it at you accusingly, "she threw this at Mingi!"
"Baby, why would you do that?" He takes the bottle from San and slowly kneels on the edge of the bed, reaching for you.
You say nothing, only whining and kicking his hand away. So he turns his attention back to the younger members. "What happened?" He wants to scream at them, really. How could they make his Baby cry when they know everything he went through and continues to go through to have you as his own? But that would only make you more upset. You don't like when he raises his voice, so he keeps it calm. "Is she hurt?"
"Hyung... We really didn't mean to, we tried to-" Mingi is almost in tears, he truly feels for you. But it's been months. If he could have helped he'd of found a way by now. But they need Seonghwa. And some of the members wouldn't even dream of turning him in- even after what he's done. For selfish reasons maybe. But it doesn't matter why or why not. You've been stuck in their apartments for half a year. They'd thought all of your deficiency had passed. That they could pretend it was okay.
"What happened, Baby?" He turns back to you, gently touching your knee.
That little touch seems to make you snap. Screaming obscenities in his face as you go on and on about how you are not, in fact, his baby. You aren't his at all. You want to go home. You don't love him. You don't like San. You don't like Mingi. You don't like any of the members, actually. You don't like living here. You wish you'd never even met him.
All three of them watch aghast, jaws dropped as you yell insult after insult at them. Hot in the face and tears streaming down like a waterfall so harshly that they wet the collar of your baby blue dress and pool as a drop on your chin. You grab the little plushie that Jongho made with you and hurl it at Seonghwas face, hitting him on the nose.
He watches it fall to the floor and his eyes don't seem to move after that. He's forced to listen as you insult his character directly now. He's a insane person. He's a pervert. He's sick in the head. He's annoyingly overbearing. You loathe his guts. You wouldn't spit on him if he were on fire. You'd shoot him twice if you were in a room with him and a hungry tiger with only two bullets. You loathe his entire being. You aren't his Baby. You aren't even his girlfriend. He's delusional.
The words ring around his head hauntingly. You can't possibly mean those things. He takes care of you so well. He gives you the world and all he asks for in return is your love. And he's gotten it. At least he thought he had. He woke up with you by his side and went back to bed the same way. You gave him kisses on the cheek. You let him play with all of your favorite toys that no one else can touch. You let him bathe you and dress you. You let him do everything.
"Do you hear me?" You scream, throwing his neatly fluffed pillow at his already lowered head. "I hate you!"
The world stops in that moment, the millisecond that word slips from your mouth.
    It's silent in the room. In the apartment. Not only could you hear a pin drop—
    You can hear the single tear fall from Seonghwas eye and collide with the hardwood.
Both of them look at him. You look at him. He looks at the floor. There's a visible shift in his aura. He goes from unreadable to pissed in the blink of an eye. His shoulders tense up and his breathing gets shallow.
He stands up, almost robotically. He picks up his pillow and dusts it off, placing in back on the bed where it belongs. His gaze doesn't even bother to meet yours as you watch him with wide, fearful eyes. He grabs the plushie and sets it down as well. "...Get up. Bend over, Baby."
"Hwa, wait, pl-"
"Before I get the paddle."
He doesn't say anything else, glaring down at you as you move tentatively. After an incident with an unlocked window and some sheets resulting in you being dragged to Hongjoongs room by the ear, you don't even want to see the paddle. You had to sit on their laps or a pillow for two weeks straight, if memory serves you right.
    He doesn't reach to move you faster. He stands at the edge of the bed, deadly silent. He only intervenes when you look to Mingi and San beggingly. "You're not allowed to look at them anymore."
That was a rule when you first arrived. You only got that privilege a few weeks ago. You figured it was probably to make you feel distance to the fact that these were people, who could potentially help you leave him, and not just disembodied voices and lower bodies. A way to make you feel even more lonely. Even when they were so close that you could here their breathing.
Like now, Mingi lets out a few small sniffles here and there. Sans breaths sounds anxious. Like if he moves an inch that he will be next on his Hyungs list.
As you bend your body over the edge, they avert their eyes. They may be complacent with Seonghwas actions, but they will never cross that line. They, all seven of the younger members, promised it. Never touch you. Never take advantage of you. Never directly help Seonghwa control you in any way. In fact, most of them decided it would be best to help you however possible, without ruining all of their lives in the process. Getting you small gifts that Seonghwa pre-approved. Stealing you away to the other dorms for a movie night. Sneaking you an extra sweet or episode of cartoons when you were deep in little-space.
But there was nothing they could do when Seonghwa told you to do something. To go to bed early. To let him wash your hair. To give him a kiss. To suck on his thumb. To bend over.
So they could only look away with heavy hearts as he flips up your skirt and rips -quite literally- your underwear away. The sound makes Mingi cringe, your crying pleas for him make him want to disappear forever. "Ming, please, don't let him! I'm sor-"
Seonghwa doesn't even start easy on you, he smacks your bottom harshly, over and over again until your cheek is sore and aching all the way through to your hip. And then, for the briefest moment, you all think it's over when the loud echo of the smacks finally ceases. But that was only him moving to get a better angle on your other side.
    You cry loudly, and the sound officially makes Mingi cry. He lowers his head and turns his body away completely to try and distance himself from the abuse. San gently takes ahold of his pink in his own. It does little to comfort either of them, but it reminds them both of the pact that they made.
     All of their pinkies interlocked, a promise that they would do their best for their obviously challenged Hyung.
        Both of your cheeks bruising and hot to the touch, Seonghwa finally backs up. He moves his knees from their place on either side of you and lets you crumble to the floor in a pile of sobs. He stops briefly to pull your skirt over you half-hazardly before leaving you completely alone as you blubber into your arms.
     His palm is red, as angry as he was. He takes a deep breath as he takes a pump of lotion, rubbing it into his hands as he turns to the other men.
      "Tell me what happened."
    Mingi wipes his face roughly, straightening up as San speaks lowly, "we turned on the TV. We were going to watch a movie, but... but she saw it on the news before we could even change it."
    "What did she see?"
   "Her missing persons photo..."
The door was locked behind them and there was no noise in the apartment. If you hadn't known better, you'd say they all left. But Seonghwa refused to ever leave you alone. Even when all of the members were busy. You either went with them or had a staff member watching you, one who'd coincidentally received a raise moments before.
You stayed right there on the floor for the longest time, sobbing and snotting all over the floor as you tried to calm yourself.
Oh, you really outdid yourself this time.
Even at his angriest, Seonghwa never left your side when there was a tear in your eye.
You knew he had no tolerance for that word. Hate. Ironically, you could say he hated it. Especially when it came out of your lips. You once said you hated the show he put on. He gave you a fourty minute lecture and three smacks to the behind.
And you just aimed it right at him. You meant to make him angry. And you succeeded.
Now, into the night, when he still hasn't returned, you start to wonder wether you snapped his last string of humanity. If he hated you just as much as you claimed you hated him. If he's out in the kitchen planning how to get rid of you.
Your body aches as you sit up, screaming at you as you crawl into the small pink tent in the corner of the room. It's placed on top of soft play mats and filled with baby-ish things that he insisted you needed every time he saw them. The softest blankets. The cutesy, most hug-able plushies. A small box of your favorite pacifiers and toys.
You untie the ribbon keeping the sheer fabric open and let it drape closed, as if it will shield you. Perhaps, in your fragile mind, it will. He never comes in here, only ever reaches in to grab the blankets to wash every other week.
You let yourself flop onto your side into the pile and find yourself sobbing all over again. Maybe, just maybe, in a fucked up, delusional way... Seonghwa does care for you. Maybe, just maybe, in his mind, he does all of these things because he believes it best for you.
You can still see Seonghwa in his room when he's not there. Maybe that's why you hate being cooped up in here. Always begging members to let you hang out in their rooms instead.
It's so neat. Even after the chaos of earlier. So color coordinated. Grey and white and warm lights.
You're the only exception. Toys and clothes and books strewn about in your little corner, just out of sight of his cam-corder.
   Maybe that's why you get so mad when you slip out of the little space he's built for you. You know you don't fit into his life seamlessly. You know the truth of your situation. So you may as well start making the best of it.
    With a groan of effort, you sit back up.
   It's well past midnight when he turns the lock on the outside of his door. Which also means its well past your bedtime. You've become so well accustomed to it over your time together, he figures you've probably fallen asleep.  
       And he's right. He immediately spots you on his side do the bed, holding his pillow tight to your chest with your swollen eyes closed.
    A pant of regret hits him right where it hurts as he realizes just how much he made you cry. How much he made you hurt. His anger got the best of him, and it hurts his heart that deep down, he knows it won't be the last time.
     He's done it to everyone. His family. His members. Himself...
    His darkest thoughts reach out in the corners of his mind, saying that his Baby is better of without him. But he is quick to slap them away as he tip toes into the room.
    Somethings off, somethings different. Everything is in place.
    All of your toys and coloring books and short stories. All of your pacifiers and stuffed animals. They're on the shelf exactly how he puts them during his Sunday reset cleanings. All of your favorites are on the wall, your side of the bed. The multitude of blankets and throw pillows in your tent are folded and organized neatly. Your tears and snot have been wiped up. Your ripped panties in the bin.
    "Oh, my Baby," he whispers, immediately crawling into bed behind you and holding your back close to his chest, careful to avoid your bottom. He doesn't even want to fathom what he did to you... "My Baby..."
      He can't help but cry, though he tries to do so silently. He wants you to rest, you need it. But the smallest movement of the bed wakes you in your fragile state.
    When you stir, he expects you to crawl away. But you don't. Instead, you roll over to face him and shimmy into his arms. "Hey, sweet girl," he coos hoarsely.
     You were right, earlier. You weren't left alone in the apartment. San was sitting in the living room comforting Mingi as Seonghwa stormed off and went upstairs to Hongjoong. While they sat in silence, he screamed and screamed and screamed until he couldn't breathe.
     Eventually, Hongjoong and Yunho got him to calm down, and they talked and talked and talked. Yunho suggested, lightly, that you should stay the night with them. And then Seonghwa screamed some more.
     In all this time, your nighttime routine had never been interrupted. He had a very specific way the two of you did things before bed and he would have it no other way. In all this time, he's never let you out of his arms as he slept. Even that first night, you kicked and screamed and punched until you passed out. But you did so in his arms.
    "Mommy." It's a simple acknowledgment, but it calms him ever so slightly. He takes pride in that name. And it makes him happy you can still call him that after what he's done to you.
     "Are you okay, Baby?" He knows that the answer is no. But he'll give you the opportunity to speak for yourself. To tell him how to help.
     "Hurts," you sniffle as you press your face into his chest, " 'm hungry..."
     "Come on, Sweetpea, I'll take care of you."
    You koala hug onto him, arms around his neck and legs around his waist as he stands.
    And the nighttime routine starts now, a pattern of familiarity to calm both of your shot nerves.
    He gently sets you in your seat at the table, but not before pacing down a pillow he grabbed while passing the couch. It still burns even with the soft cushioning below you.
You eat in silence. Usually you would speak about your days, and the next one's plans. But there doesn't seem to be any words that either of you can find at the moment.
He rinses the dishes before picking you back up. No matter how many times you insist you can walk- he insists right back that his Baby must be carried. You pass Mingi on the way to the bathroom, and he gives you a small wave, his eyes bloodshot and his posture slumped. But he can't help the small smile that tugs at his lips as you wave back over Seonghwas shoulder.
The pillow goes down on the counter before you, and he starts your meticulous skin care. Your face wash, then his. Your toner, then his. Moisturizer, eye cream, spot treatment, the list goes on until your both brushing your teeth.
You will admit Seonghwa takes exceptionally good care of not only himself, but you as well.
He likes to massage your face after all is said and done. He says it's good for blood flow, which is true. But he does it for a few simpler reasons.
Your face in his hands. And a chance to admire you at the end of the day.
No matter how rough of a day it was. He could always count on this.
He cups your cheeks as he stands between your legs, massaging them gently. "My Baby." He whispers. So quiet you actually miss it. You're too busy melting into his affection. "You're my Baby." He speaks, however lowly.
"Mhm," you moan quietly, blinking up at him, not knowing what exactly he's meaning.
"Say it to me," he says. He pleads. His forehead rests on yours. Eyes growing wet as he uses your eyes as a window into your soul. "Please."
"I'm your baby," you whisper just as gently as he. Nodding against his head lightly. "I'm your baby, Mommy."
He nearly collapses as his shoulders finally relax. His mind flooding with happiness as he hears those words. You're all he's ever wanted. You're all he feels he truly has.
He knew it since the moment he saw you. So delicate, so beautiful and kind. He was overcome with an urge that he can only describe as a mix of pure love and anxiety. He loves you so deeply, how can he ever rest if he doesn't know for certain that your safe and taken care of? So he took matters into his own hands.
He's never felt it before. He knows he'll never feel it again. He will never. Never. Love someone as much as you. As much as his Baby.
You reach up and wipe his tears gently, the tiniest of smiles playing at your lips, "you gonna wash away all the stuff you jus' put on."
He can't help the chuckle that leaves him, leaning into your touch as it leaves a tingle on his skin, "you're right, Baby."
He gently, oh so gently, places a kiss on your lips before your routine resumes.
He leaves you to do your business as he goes to the living room and gathers your pajamas, and when he comes back he finds you all done, rubbing your bottom with a pout. "Oh, Baby, I'm so sorry! I forgot, it must have hurt on the toilet," a pout of his own forms as he crouches and rummages through the cabinet.
"Yeahm," you whine, watching him closely as he grabs a tube.
"Bend over, Baby." That simply sentence almost has you spiraling again before he reaches and rubs your head ever so gently. "It's okay, it's okay. It's numbing cream. Let Mommy put on you and it'll feel better, promise."
You hesitantly bend over the counter slightly, and are relieved to find he's telling the truth. He's barely touching your behind enough spread the cream, his touch is so light. But he manages to apply the treatment without causing you any more harm.
You know that this will be part of your nightly routine again when he sets the tube down with the rest of his products. It mocks you as you look at it. Knowing you'll have to hear those words over and over again until you're healed.
He helps you rid your dress and redresses you in one of his t-shirts before changing into his own pajamas.
As he carries you back to bed, you speak up while fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, "Mommy?"
"Yes, Baby?"
"Can sleep in my tent tonigh'?"
"Oh, Baby, you know I have to hold you to fall asleep. Baby can have a nap in there tomorrow, how about that?"
"No, Mommy too," you look to him with a pout as he closes the bedroom door behind you, "Mommy in the tent." You point to it as if he doesn't know what tent you're referring to, and it makes him laugh how adorable you are when you're so deep in little-space.
"Okay, Baby," he sets you down first and lets you crawl in, watching you with stars in his eyes as you curl up under the blankets and move to make room for him.
His feet poke out of the side even as he's curled spooning you, and he knows the sight is probably ridiculous. But it's very possibly the coziest he's been with you. The tent and the plushies inside of it smell like you. All of the soft blankets have accumulated into a weighted blanket of sorts and keeps you both warm in the cold October air. His chest pressed to your back and your numbed bottom snuggling back into his hips. Your soft, calm breaths luring him into a state of tranquility. He stays just like that, for a long time, it feels like. It almost feels like he's meditating. His soul being cleansed. He can see why you like it here-
Oh. Oh, he's really in here.
It dawns on him as he looks up. What is usually a white ceiling is a pink fabric just a few inches away from his face.
You invited him in.
Ever since he set it up three months ago, you made a strict 'BABY ONLY' policy. And you stuck to that. Not even Jongho, who was admittedly your favorite of his members, was allowed in. They were all confined to the play mat just outside.
But not anymore.
He thought after the pain he had caused, after the outside world had reminded you what he'd done, that your progress would be set back. That he'd back back to square one with a brat. But, you went ahead and proved him opposite.
You proved him that you are and will continue to be,
His Baby.
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whenishipiluxurycruiseit · 7 months ago
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After reading some twts about how the reveal should not affect the kaishin fandom bc of how old it is and how most old shippers had the suspicion of kaishin being related and proceeded to not care and accept and even ship them more leads me to the acceptance stage and the realization stage where this is all fiction and not true thus it will not affect anyone greatly and most of us should realize this too HAHAHA
I mean i had my suspicions too ya know but like i was expecting them to be distantly related not this closely related gahdang gosho JAGDHSHS also i was kinda closing my eyes when i saw how similar toichi and yuusaku looked like when i saw them so AHDGSHS lovelies lets just think that the reveal made the ship spicer that ever
Kaishin may be cousins and what? Its fiction, this ship is old, there are even more worse ships than this, will this hurt anyone? No (unless ur really in deep like delusional deep), will this change the world? No, will this affect your daily life? No, will this change your morals? For me no, cause i know they are not real, why on earth would they change my morals.
Honestly its not just kaishin, there are a lot of ships with this kind of relationship, and other shippers must realize the fact that they are not real and no one will get hurt. If you get disturbed by the fact that we ship cousins/twins/siblings then you may close your eyes and move one to the other post, im not like validating this bc in the real and current world this may seem disturbing but everyone must know the difference between real and fiction, do not do what fiction do but you may learn what fiction do, just put it at the back of your head as an additional knowledge and the possibility that some other people might mix up fiction and real life.
Anyways so much for the monologue JAGSHS
THE REVEAL FIRED ME UP INTO MAKING ANOTHER PROMPT YEEEEY
Like im not even focusing abt how kaishin is cousins anymore but at why toichi did that to his son, what is incest compared to betrayal (not rlly cause kaito still didnt know hes alive BUT STILL THATS HIS KID??? HIS CHILD IN THE EYES OF DANGER?? AND HE LET HIS CHILD DO THAT?? BOY?)?
Like i know he protects kaito at the side (it was on magic kaito 1412 i forgot what episode) but he protects kaito with kaito experiencing trauma bc how tf how dare u use my dead dads face you traitor like that like bro??
I dont even also think that chikage knew that her husband is alive, only yuusaku (like wow cute they mustve been such close siblings but thats not the point) knows that hes alive and yuusaku probs only also knows cause hes yuusaku and yuusaku knows everything in just once glance for some weird ass reason
ANYWAYS SO
My prompt is that (please know that some of the characters are ooc!!! Esp the parents cause they dont show much wth JAGDHSH also ill put in a oc for plot purposes WAHSGAHSGA)
Shinichi, still as conan, was in a pinch and was suddenly saved by a mysterious guy. Whom he thought was like akai san but he sensed someone different like.. KID? No.. dad??
Toichi who saw a kid who looked like his nephew when he was a child is being chased by men in black (who suspiciously looked like snake for some reason but snake doesnt wear shades in the dark cause thats a foolish move) decided to help him and lose the pursuers off his back
“Boya are you ok?” “…..(hmm? What is this feeling.. i feel like i’ve met him somewhere but..)” “boya?” “Ah! Un! Thank you uncle!”
Toichi suddenly thought of shinichi when he heard conans voice saying uncle, it sounds just like 10 yrs ago when he visited yuusakus house to teach yukiko the art of disguise
Toichi then took conan to his guardians when he found out that his parents was in america apparently (1) and he also found out that his guardians were the mouris (2) which was 2 points of suspicion which wasnt that bad but just weird cause why didnt his younger brother tell anything, not that that shit tells him anything at all. Adding to the fact that he has not seen his attention loving smart nephew in the news for a while now then pops out a child that looks like him makes the suspicion highly likely. (Their family kinda has a knack for attracting dangerous orgs, from what he seen to himself and his son, he just hopes his younger brother and nephew didnt get it (which was highly unlikely now too))
Consider his suspicions correct when his younger brother decides to okay dumb (he knows ok, theyre twins for a reason and hes a older brother for a reason) the problem now was which shady org was it and how much does his nephew and younger brother know….
2 weeks later he found out
Apparently he wasnt the only one suspicious of someone
His, (knew it), dear shrunken nephew was too! Bc of one comment from mouri kun (have we met somewhere before?) and his suspicions were proven right when he saw yuusakus phone lying around with his message on the notif screen
(Toichis so proud, thats my nephew, be nosy kid you will go far in life)(it made his nephew cute too 🥰)
and color him suprised when his nephew has a shady org at his back too (he was kinda hoping that his nephew only stumbled on the scene of the crime that was he was chased not being a victim himself sighs the family curse)
and toichi and his nephew (whom just found out they were related with the first kaitou kid, who was supposed to be dead) made an alliance! (it kinda feels good to not only have one person know about your secrets, it also makes him relieved that his nephew has a lot of trusted people at his back other than some bigass shady org)
it also makes toichi happy that his son could be himself (not just kaitou kid but really being kaito his son whom he left with his wife toprotecttonotpullintothismessbutthey-) with his cousin
his son was inlove with his cousin
oh shit
yuusaku why did we not let them meet again
how he found out? he got the front seat
with snake
but does that really matter
(is akai kun included when hes so far away from the build the confession was happening)
(akai kun just shoot snake pls)
then it all went to shit (from his perspective cause wdym kaito did not even notice snake was there so its ok uncle shinichi kun did u also not notice my mental breakdown too)
they apprehended snake, and found out he was just some lackey in the black org and wanted to be the same lvl as gin so hes chasing after some immortality granting stone (yea hes not gonna be on the same lvl as gin hes stupid says his dear cutified nephew)
he told his younger brother about the confession
his younger brother knew all along ever since he caught kaito sneaking in their house to leave a jewel that he stole and saw him caress shinichis face.. yuusaku told him with the face of did u really not see that coming, we never let them meet when they were old enough to remember.
like valid? but at least share the tea gahdang
yukiko also knows? brother? i thought bros before hoes? (he nearly got mauled to death by his mystery loving younger brother, bc how dare you call my wife a hoe? ur the hoe u *spits real talk that hurts*)
after yuusaku hurt him internally he has come to the fact that yea he was worse than his son.. (also who can blame him, shinichi kun has yukikos genes (not that his darling wife is any less beautiful than yukiko, his wifes beauty came from being reckless and he likes that in his woman sighs i miss my wife) and their reckless genes so, with his wifes beautiful and shiny loving gene with his reckless loving gene, shinichi, conan, his nephew was the perfect person for his son. not ignoring the fact that shinichi kun is also a very understanding person. his nephew grew a lot (internally cause well.. he shrunk physically))
and now shinichi is looking at him weirdly
no way
did he not hear his sons confession
"shin kun... what did you think about what my son said to you?" "hm? ah that chase?... isnt it just a chase? oh im sorry uncle if i hurt kaito, it was needed to make it look convincing haha, i dont plan on capturing him rn dw!" "... oh! its ok shin kun ^^"
it was not okay, how does his nephew not notice his sons confession to him? (his son was a child of two phantom thieves, making a heist even grander than it already is shows that his son is courting his nephew SO HOW TF- oh, oh yuusaku just told him that every heist shinichi went to was always that grand so he might not see the difference? oh. oh my gosh.)
how to break this to his son who thought his father was dead
yuusaku just smiled (useless asshole, just bc hes still close to his son even though his son is in another identity now and can still pretend to be his new sons identities father bc of the disguising art that toUICHI HIMSELF TAUGHT HIM)
shinichi kun said to wait till evrything was over, or wait till the black org is down cause he will help explain too cause he hid it too after knowing his undeadness (at least his nephew was helpful, might be yukikos gene)
"you know, ever since i met kaitou kid, i knew that i might need his help to bring this org down, but i never knew that it would be the first kaitou kid that will help me hehe"
his nephew is so cute (yep its yukikos genes, yuusaku could never be like that anymore, still regrets the day where he showed off to his younger brother his magician skills)
the org was brought down but the antidote for shinchis problem still hasnt been made but time is an essence they need to reveal the truth to his family now or it might get worse
family reunion time! :DDDDDDDDD
shinichi went to get his son and wife while he and his younger brother prepares his execution letter
(if u wanna know how shinichi went to get kaito and chikage pls comment! ill write it up on the other post)
"yukiko chan can u-" "nope"
"yuusaku istg id u dont help me we're twins for a reason if i die you die too" "fk u" (helps him)
then it all went to shit (pt 2) (shinichi kun can see it now too, toichi thinks even hakase next door can feel it)
his son did not walk out bc of shinichi kun ("kaito, listen to you father please, you know my situation, its kind of the same but in your fathers case, you are ran" "at least you were close to her!" "does it really matter when all she saw was conan not shinichi?" "but-!" "kaito, the woman i love is slipping before my eyes because i cant go to her like before now! everytime i go back to my body temporarily all i think about is how she will get hurt if the organization realizes i was one of the victims they failed to kill and will go after her and her family and friends! there are numerous people in the org who already knew about my real identity, they mightve been killed or decided to not tell about it but there is no saying they might decide to not do the opposite!"
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gfmima · 2 years ago
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c. 東京卍リベンジャーズ | tokyo revengers + f!reader t. according to him, you have a crush on him!
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“‘’m telling you! she’s in love with me!”
“oh, please. when are you going to get it through your thick skull, mikey? you’re delusional.” izana huffs, then stares out of the window to cool himself down.
who?
wondering eyes flicker back and forth between his younger brothers; shinichiro creeps into his seat beside izana. whilst not out of the ordinary for these two to bicker, it still feels nice to be in the loop about the heated — i mean, idiotic — discussion that unfolds right in front him.
“what’s going on?”
“our mikey here thinks emma’s pretty friend has the hots for him.” izana rolls his eyes, as if it offends him to say the topic of their chat.
ah, he remembers it now. 
you were the roommate emma speaks fondly whenever she mentions her time at university. she even invited you to spend the holiday season with their family the previous year and he must say, the whispers were true. you were as pretty as the wild flowers in march, enough for mikey to fawn over and convince himself you were head-over-heels in love with him.
“and does she?”
“ha, as if! she is way out of his league!”
he didn’t want to come across dismissive of his brother and his supposed love life, but he was going to be honest about it.
nose wrinkled, he grimaces when he sees the picture emma sent of you two displayed on izana’s phone screen.
yeah, there was no chance you’d give mikey the time of day. in his defense, you were a smart girl, the sort to have her life planned out and he doubts you’d settle down for guy as free-spirited as him, much less deem him your ‘dream man.’
“say, when she rejects you, can i have—OUCH!”
“she won’t.” mikey scowls and crosses his arms.
“how can you be so sure? has it ever occurred you might be wrong? you guys don’t even talk unless emma was around,” izana taunts, hanging his arms on the table with his chin on his palm.
shinichiro fumbles around in his pocket for a spare cigarette and his lighter.
this conversation was going to take a while.
knowing the youngest out of the three present, the very last thing he’d do is abandon a good fight. even as a small child, mikey was a stubborn creature who didn’t know how to pick and choose his battles. in other words, this was a hill he was willing to die on.
and since you were involved? now more than ever.
from the direction of the conversation alone, shinichiro had become aware of why izana and emma were ranting to him about it for days on end. it was fascinating yet exasperating to watch mikey mistake even the most innocent exchanges as something romantic.
you greet him? you’re trying to get his attention.
you glance in his direction? you’re staring at him.
at this point in time, the two of them were waiting for mikey to mistake your breathing as a plea for his hand in marriage.
“she’s shy! and you just aren’t there when it happens. she’s always trying to talk to me!” he closes his eyes and upturns his nose in a childish way, as if what came out of his mouth wasn’t the most foolish thing he ever said in a span of three minutes.
(izana had to restrain himself from kicking him.)
what he mentioned wasn’t a lie, however, it wasn’t the truth either. you did talk to mikey whenever he visited emma, but it wasn’t anything beyond polite small talk. he must’ve confused your eagerness to fill the awkward silence for real interest. 
a harmless “hey, hi, how are you?” became a turning point in your relationship.
this isn’t to say you’d never like mikey. perhaps in a different situation, one where he didn’t act like a self-absorbed nitwit who believed you wanted to jump his bones, you’d ask your friend to set you up.
anyway, back to the present.
“really? prove it then. call her right now, twerp,” izana dares, causing shinichiro to sigh yet again in exhaustion. was there a chance this would ever end?
“fine.”
always the mature twenty-one year old, mikey puffs his pale cheeks and glowers at him. he was gonna prove him wrong. fetching his phone from his pocket, he types your nickname into his contacts.
he takes a sharp inhale. uh, oh.
his older brothers share a look when he gives off a sheepish chuckle with a close-eyed smile. “heh, i forgot to ask emma for her number.”
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“look, t-this is going to be awkward to say but i have some very important news to tell you. i, um, don’t know how else to phrase it—”
“…ah! i get it now. i always knew there was something fishy going on, though, i never thought i’d be correct about it.” ryusei lays on top of the counter, then nods his head at you slowly as if he knew what you were trying to say.
you raise a brow at him.
you glance at the time on the wall-mounted clock in front of you. sigh, your shift was hours away from ending. the fact there were no customers in the store was a giant relief since you needed a moment to fathom how to phrase that he was banned from the pet store.
chifuyu’s rules, not yours~!
(however, it didn’t appear to be a problem for you anymore.)
“wait… you already know?”
“of course, i do! i’ve known for quite a while now.” he stares at you like he couldn’t believe you’d think otherwise.
oh.
your gaze flew to chifuyu to see if you could ask for help but he was far too preoccupied chatting with kazutora to notice the deer in the headlights stare. welp, what do you do now? do you kick him out? can you even kick him out?
you purse your lips and huff under your breath.
“i’m surprised you didn’t tell me sooner. were you scared of my reaction?” ryusei carries the conversation with ease and breaks you out of your short reverie. “did you think i’d… you know?”
frankly, you were actually nervous. from you can remember, he was a former gang member. god only knows the damage he can cause if he was upset.
“a bit. i wasn’t sure how to break it to you, i wasn’t sure how you’d take it!” you let out a shaky laugh. “oh, thank god, you aren’t upset. i-i wouldn’t know what to do if you were upset, i wasn’t briefed on this.”
chifuyu and kazutora stand — nonchalantly — in the corner of the store; not too close, not too far, and definitely not eavesdropping on your conversation. there are a lot of many emotions running through their heads to really get how they felt after what they heard.
they knew of ryusei’s funny misunderstanding, thinking you had a big crush on him. now where he got that idea remains a mystery to them.
he shakes his head and wears a smile unfitting for someone who was just told he was banned. “i-i could never be upset with you! to be honest, i’ve been waiting for this moment… and i guess this means i should finally confess that i feel the same way.”
you scrunch your nose. he wanted to be banned?
“are you high? do i need to call chifuyu?” he places his hand on top of yours to stop you from leaving, begging you to not say another word.
“it’s okay, there’s no need to pretend anymore... i get it, this is too sudden for you. we can always talk about it next time, you know? no pressure.”
you didn’t respond. you also didn’t need to work your brain overtime to have your thoughts confirmed.
behind him, chifuyu mouths, “yes, he thinks you confessed to him.”
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twopoppies · 2 months ago
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Hi!! First time in ur inbox- sorry it's such word vomit. I've seen you be so sweet to people in your asks and I thought I'd join with my own thoughts that have been rattling around in my head since last night.
Why is it that the general population see larries as actually, genuinely, crazy and delusional fans? I know it serves it's purpose in maintaining the believability of a closet, but
when i got into the fandom and started going through all the receipts& explanations, I remember still being on the fence for a while, unsure and sort of paranoid about whether I was allowed to believe in it. I can remember telling a friend that asked if I thought it was real: "The craziest part is that you look through everything, read about PR and closeting in the industry, and you are left thinking: Well, holy shit. It's entirely possible that this is true. It wouldn't even be a special case- all of these things that fans theorise about Larry have 100% happened to other celebs."
I understand people not wanting to believe in 'conspiracies' but when it's straight relationships, it's ok? when it's the mainstream media narrative, it's ok? even though artists have told us repeatedly that the media has their own agenda? I'll never get that. How are we the crazy ones? They're the hypocrites.
Because I'm new to the fandom I've been watching old clips on youtube, and I got recommended a video essay on 1D and the whole comment section was full of people saying larries caused gaylor to happen (ew as if we would ever), and comparing what we believe to kpop stans thinking every one of their idols is secretly dating (which btw, yes kpop stans are intense and often fall for easily debunked conspiracies but. statistically speaking, some of those boys have GOT to be fruity.)
It just makes me wonder why people have to come at us like that. Saying all our proof can be debunked... a lot of it can lol but that's more of an issue of younger or naiver people getting obsessed with the idealised romance of H&L and seeing writing on the wall when it's just some accidental smudges. If they don't want to believe us, fine. But why are they so sure they know better than we do?
Hi, love. This would be a PhD thesis if I really broke it down. But I think a couple of the main reasons are that 1DHQ worked overtime on the gaslighting and the story that larries ruined HL's friendship. Then they added in "Louis" tweeting about how Larry is bullshit, and he's straight, and he's had to deny "Larry" a bunch of times over the years. So from the early days, it was considered being a "good fan" to shit on larries. Then, add in that Harry was marketed as a womanizer, Louis was marketed as the world's best boyfriend, and tabloids calling anyone "crazy" who thought they could be anything but aggressively straight. Larries just became the scapegoat.
Add in a sprinkle of homophobia ("stop assigning a sexuality to people" as if "straight" isn't a sexuality) and compulsory heterosexuality, and you've got a perfect storm. Plus, unless you've got a basic understanding of closeting and the way the music/film industries operate and only you've really followed things from early on and cataloged the insane amount of "coincidences," it's easy to explain everything away.
more here
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multicohn · 2 months ago
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summary: taehyun likes y/n, but he kept his feelings hidden knowing how taboo it is for idols to date, but he can’t resist, especially when people think she’s dating jisung from nct dream
warnings: NOT PROOFREAD! PLEASE CORRECT ME IF YOU SEE A MISTAKE 🙏 swearing?. not really a warning, but it’s mentioned that you are born in 2002 so sorry if you’re older or younger ( like me )
pairing: fem! idol! reader x kang taehyun ( platonic! park jisung x reader mentioned )
genre: angst, fluff
author note: wrote this at like 2am but just posted cause my phone has been acting up which is why this is so rushed. i’ll probably switch to my laptop if it does this again.
ALSO! comment some ideas for a beomgyu imagine / one shot cause he’s the only from i don’t have a draft for :( ( sorry to all the beomgyu stans reading )
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
it was only normal for y/n and jisung to become close — they’re the same age and debuted only a month apart, but it was their members who pushed them into a friendship considering their shy and introverted personalities. the two slowly got over their shyness and became good friends — well, each other’s only friends.
y/n didn’t mind being surrounded by the company of her members or jisung and the other dreamies. you truly can’t trust anyone in the industry, and they were all she needed anyways.
when their company merged with hybe labels, y/n didn’t pay much attention to it. she would awkwardly meet some trainees or fellow idols when navigating her way through, but it was only short greetings before they continued on their way.
“oh, hi” y/n bowed politely as taehyun from tomorrow by together came into the elevator. it was obvious he had been sweating due to his wet hair and y/n was thankful she wore a mask and hat / beanie
“your comeback is soon, right?” they had quite a few floors to go down and y/n wasn’t sure why she started talking out of the blue — it definitely startled them both
“yeah”
“i wish you great success” taehyun smiled before the elevator dinged signally that they had arrived, she bowed and exited. once y/n heard the door shut, she smacked her palm against her forehead
“i wish you great success? what the fuck was that?” she groaned and pulled her hat / beanie down
“she hopes it’s a success” taehyun muttered happily to himself
it was no secret to his members ( and some eagle eyed fans / delusional shippers ) that taehyun is rather fond their senior. he use to have a small crush on her, but it blossomed overtime now they were under the same company. the tiktok challenges they shot gave them an opportunity to grow closer, but y/n hasn’t participated in one with him yet. it was never arranged on who would be dancing with them, but he always secretly hoped that it would be her.
unfortunately, it never was.
taehyun knew he would never have a chance; their careers speak for themselves, but sometimes he’d find himself day dreaming about what it’d be like to have a girlfriend, and instead of some random girl — it always turned out to be y/n who he would admire from behind before they turned around.
in his dream, they would be standing barefoot on top of the flowery grass hall and the would be sun shining down on her to give her an angel like glow, when she turned around, all he saw was y/n's face.
is he delusional? yeah, probably.
“there you are” huening spoke making everyone turn towards him
“didn’t think you’d stay back for so long” yeonjun commented as took a seat on the coach in the recording room
“got distracted” he shrugged
“what? looking at pics of our senior” beomgyu teased and taehyun glared at him making beomgyu pretend to be hurt
“isn’t she dating jisung from nct?”
that.
that’s another reason he wouldn’t tell her.
her and jisung were basically glued together whenever they met at events. it didn’t matter if their groups were placed far away from another, they would somehow find a way to be next to each other. fans were spilt on thinking the pair is cute and adore their friendship to being upset over how close they are and thinking they’re in a relationship.
the companies denied it, but that didn’t stop the assumptions; stolen glances when the other isn’t looking, smiling at seeing them on the big screen, singing their lines, so many instances that fans brought when they thought they were dating.
sadly, it caused a rift between y/n and jisung’s public friendship and they had to kept their interactions to a minimal. everyone saw how it affected them, they were each other’s only friend outside of their respective groups.
“she isn’t” taehyun didn’t know. no one knew except y/n and jisung — maybe their members too
huening shrugged and went to back playing on his phone while beomgyu and yeonjun gave him a knowing look.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
y/n liked txt.
well, she didn’t have any reason not to.
they were nice and she got along with most of them, except for taehyun. they barely talked or even interacted, jisung says that he might just be shy around girls, but y/n isn’t too sure about that.
“hey, y/n. are you and jisung dating?”
“what happened to hi? hello? good morning?” she questioned her label mate who sat down with a tray of food in front of him
“just wondering” y/n narrowed her eyes at him
“why?”
“like i said — just wondering”
the whole situation is weird.
they’re acquaintances at most. sure, she has his number, but they’ve only texted each other to congratulate the other about something and nothing else.
why is he sitting in front of her and asking her if she’s dating jisung?
“no?” he nodded and continued eating, but y/n just stared. an unsettled feeling rose within her as she glazed over the cafeteria to see if ( member name ) was coming back from the bathroom or one of his members was looking for him
"oi, beomgyu" y/n let out a small sigh of relief upon seeing taehyun make his way towards him. she felt like a weight had lifted off her shoulders as she shamelessly stared into his beautiful dark brown eyes
beomgyu noticed and smirked, if taehyun wasn't going to do anything, he would.
"we have an off day tomorrow before we officially start our promotions" y/n raised an eyebrow as taehyun pulled him up harshly and whispered something she couldn't make out, but he looked angry
"am i... attracted to this?"
"taehyun would love for you to spend some time with him" taehyun froze. if they were anywhere else, he would've strangled beomgyu by now
"i-" she started but was interrupted by ( member name )
"y/n would love too!"
"why are you excited about this?" she whispered to her but was ignored
"cool, i'll text you his number" beomgyu picked up his tray and walked by while taehyun stood in shock
"sorry" he quickly spat out and bowed in embarrassment
"its okay! we are the same age, right? it wouldn't hurt..."
"beomgyu you're so fucking lucky that worked"
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
it was awkward.
the pair were in the comfort of a small studio, but were sitting quite a few centimeters apart. y/n had basically been shoved in by her members before they slammed the door shut and ran away, she should've chased after them, but didn't want to be rude and leave taehyun who lit up at seeing her.
"hi"
"hey"
the only sound that filled the small room is from taehyun's card shuffling. y/n liked card games and were often played between her and her members at their dorm, travelling somewhere, or hotel rooms. all of them each carried their own unique set just in case.
"wanna see a magic trick?" y/n tilted her head, but shrugged
she didn't really believe in magic. they were too obvious or simply dumb —
.
.
.
where did that coin from?
her eyes widened as taehyun pulled out a coin from out of nowhere. he wasn't even wearing a shirt with long enough sleeves to hide it; there's no way.
"ho-how did you do that?" y/n asked in confusion, amazement, a hint of fear that was small enough for taehyun not to notice
he shrugged, "magic"
that's it?
seriously?
"there's no way" she wasn't convinced, "there's got to be a trick to it all" taehyun just smiled
"i can teach you?" he offered and y/n paused, doubtful it could be easy
"really? i don't exactly have good hands or a pretty face to distract my audience" taehyun raised an eyebrow, y/n didn't seem to register what she had just said. feeling oddly confident, he leaned towards her with his hands flicking through the deck of cards
"i have a pretty face?"
"yeah"
it was so... simple. the way she said it.
"i say the same thing to jisung, it just makes him annoyed though. gotta step up my tactics, ya know?"
taehyun thought this was going somewhere, but then jisung's name slipped past her lips and he felt like he was back at square one. all the progress he was going to make? gone. vanished.
"are you okay? do you not feel well?" he met the concerned gaze that swam in your ( eye colour ) eyes, reaching a hand out to feel his cheek before moving to his forehead
"it is a bit warm, so you're probably just flushed. it happens to ( member name or yourself ) a lot"
taehyun gulped.
his normal sense of confidence dwindled a bit, but he was determined to at least tell y/n how he felt before his members actually go through with their own plan of telling her about his feelings.
he knew they would. beomgyu especially was sick of hearing how amazing she sounded in their latest comeback or how he caught a glimpse of her in the hallway and had to steady himself with the wall as to not collapse from her beauty.
y/n's members on the other hand were more ecstatic about taehyun's potential crush on her than she was. he's handsome, sings well, dances well, kind; what more could you want? they had asked. y/n wasn't experienced in crush culture, from training since she was young and having to avoid any kind of interaction with every male idol around her, she wasn't certain that thinking someone looked good was enough to consider them a crush.
their company hadn't said that they were free to date, but since they've been around for over five years, she thinks it might be okay.
"y/n"
"yeah?"
"i like you"
.
.
.
“okay, maybe this was a bad idea” taehyun thought as y/n just stared, wide eyed at his confession.
"what?" she asked in disbelief
"forget it" he shook his head and stood up, trying to quickly make his way past her and towards the door
but, she reached out grabbed his wrist.
"wait- taehyun!" he refused to look back, afraid of the rejection that was coming his way
"look, we-we can work something out?” she questioned
y/n didn’t mind the idea of dating taehyun, but the amount of things that could go wrong made her nervous.
“i-“ she bit her lip not wanting to admit that he’s the first and only person who’s taken an interest in her romantically, “-can we even work? our careers?”
“we work in the same building”
“you can’t trust everyone. i’ve never had a boyfriend or-or even a crush!” taehyun turned and y/n finally let go
“look. maybe you’re better off liking someone else, someone who’s actually dated before” she suggested, but taehyun was having none of it
“i don’t care, i want you”
she felt herself growing warm as he stared into her eyes. the eyes he could go on about how they twinkle beneath the lights and how he swears there are stars present — before soobin cut off him saying that it’s probably just the effect of lighting.
y/n took a deep breath and grabbed his hand lightly.
“i guess we can try” he lit up and y/n couldn’t help but smile
“jisung’s going to freak when i tell him”
she could never leave her best friend out.
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2nd2tar · 13 days ago
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years ago i used to be really active on quotev. i did a few quizzes and read a few stories here and there, but the main reason i was so active on it was the communities. on one of these communities, i met a girl my age whom i think about almost daily. we quickly became close, messaging eachother relentlessly. she lived in South Africa and i’m from the U.S. so the difference in time zones tended to be a bit of a blocker- but despite that, she’d stay up late to talk to me, and i’d get up early to talk to her. she was quite literally my best friend, but things ended up transcending past that.
we never dated per say, due to distance and other factors, but that didn’t keep us from talking to eachother as if we were together. i don’t think i’ve ever loved someone the way i loved her. i’ve been in relationships before and i’ve never had anything close to what we had. i’m not the sappy type, but the way i felt about her- i don’t know how i’d even try to articulate it. she was quite literally my everything.
we’d talk about the what if’s- if i was an exchange student and by chance ended up at her school, or vise versa with her ending up at mine. we’d talk about our families, our friends, the events happening around us. we spoke to eachother for years, both by message and voice.
i was a lot younger and a lot stupider then as opposed to now. i kept having nightmares that my parents would find out that i was talking to people online- that i was talking to her. so in an act of impulse, i sent her a final message, “I’m sorry.” and deleted my account. i figured that if i cut ties before the hypothetical of if my family did, then it would save me less pain.
i believe that may have been the biggest mistake of my life.
i’ve revisited quotev since then and searched desperately for her account, to no avail. all i have left of her is a couple photos and some sketches i made of her at the time.
I dream about her once every few months. sometimes the dream revolves around her, other times she’s there as a bystander. at times i feel i may be so delusional that i see something in real life that reminds me of her, and i think for a fleeting second that maybe, just maybe, she’s here. if i catch a glimpse of long red hair, if i see a certain butterfly, if i see someone wearing that same grey shirt she used to love. If i hear certain songs that she introduced me to, if i watch alice in wonderland, if i hear an accent or a voice similar to her’s. i regularly think about how things could have been. if i hadn’t been a coward, maybe i’d still know her now.
i regularly think about how she is now. we were both only 13 or so when we first met- i know i’ve grown so much, so it causes me to wonder about her. to this day i keep a clock set to what her time is, so i know the general time of day she’s going through. i know it’s silly, but it makes me feel a little bit closer to her.
i wonder if she thinks about me as much as i do her. wherever she is nowadays, i hope she’s okay. i hope she’s living the life she’s always wanted. i hope her family situation has gotten better. i hope she’s surrounded by people who love her- people who really really love her, more than i ever could.
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juliawanag · 7 months ago
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Decided to rewatch NATLA to properly form my own takes that’s been running through my mind: (I’ll have both things that I like and dislike.) Part 1
SPOILERS!
I like it like a friend from a hundred years ago: 
First and foremost, NATLA predominantly consists of Asian American Pacific Islanders. Good for them for creating a version that is more in their lens and creativity. 
The Bendiiing. All of the elements, except for Earth, are 10/10. I really want it to be more solid, especially on AangvsBumi. It’s not that bad though, so much better than…well u know. I’ll give it an 8/10. 
I rewatched it with a Filipino dub and it’s good, 9/10. Aang VO was convincing as a kid, so either they’re a great actor or a great kid actor. The jokes (Sokka’s sarcasm) hits better on my mother tongue
"You're my friend. You will always be my friend.” 
Avatar state under the ocean 
The costume. The only one that I do agree with everyone else that lacks is Zuko’s scar. They should’ve put prosthetics on the eyebrow. 
Zuko’s hair? Hello? They did a great job. Even though my sister and I sing Ariana Grande song whenever we see them swaying. It’s an integral part of his story, and I loved that they keep it. There’s an East Asian culture that indicates that kind of haircut as a punishment. I remember my History teacher taught me this in eighth grade but I forgot which it was, my bad. And the actor’s such a champ for having that hair IRL. 
My favorite actor performances: Gordon (Aang) superb acting. Liz (Azula). Utkarsh (Bumi). Justin Wong (Chong/SecretTunnelguy) sounds exactly like the character. Made up for my delusional expectation that Dee Bradley Baker would be in this. Ken Leung (Zhao) pisses me off so much, and that means he’s doing a great job. Dallas (Zuko) & Iroh (Paul). DDK's(Ozai) a natural idk if that's acting /j
Was it established in the OG that Katara's intro is a folklore/legend? Because yeah, I don’t mind that it is considered that way in this version. 
AAAAA, the Lieutenant Jee younger casting makes so much sense now! The 41st division is chef kiss. Zuko cryiiiing when he was being banished!? Dallas Lui ate! 
THE HYBRID ANIMALS LOOOK SO GOOD. The ostrich horse blended well with whoever rides them. It doesn’t look CGI to me. MOMO HIS MOMONESS, MOMO OF THE MOMO DYNASTY 
Any Zuko fight choreography (MY FAVORITE CHOREO DALLAS LOOKS FIIIRE). And Aang’s too (Oh hey).
Aang the Hype Man
The fallen Fire Nation ship behind Zukka fighting. (It’s in my notes idk why but I guess background details are a win) 
Aang and Iroh's interactions
NATLA Zuko (I don’t think there’s much of a difference though with the OG lol, and it’s probably because the NATLA directors/producers like Zuko) 
Camera direction 
The Found Family Hug™, what Netflix can do well.
End scene of Episode 1, is very cinematic. I can’t believe TV shows have come this far. I hope employees are paid well. 
The End Theme remains the saaame, and is added with cinematic effects as well.
The folly/sound effect at the start of Episode 2. Why is this the only episode with that flair? 
Creating a grave for Gyatso.
How Ozai’s forced unity/being totalitarian is represented. Reminds me so much of our own government, it amuses me. I know it’s not directly referencing that though. It’s good that they show it early on I guess. With the Fire Nation culty greeting as well. 
On a lighter note: THE AIR SPHERE/BALL whatevah, yes! More of this goofiness. How about instead of being inspired by GOT, NATLA should be inspired by Stranger Things in terms of fantasy + childhood simplicity balanced by this trauma they're going through. (Well, ST lacks worldbuilding cause it’s just normal Earth but anyway) 
Kyoshi Takeoveeer. I hope Roku gets more screen time someday though. Pls pls pls. 
They incorporated the OG character theme songs! Of course! The ones I noticed right away are the FireNation Siblings’. So if you watched OG Avatar and you watched the scene where a mysterious girl joins the infiltration of the FN Royal Palace, you’ll know who she is. 
Sorry not sorry, Daddy Dae Kim is daddying. (Although he did catch me off guard in Zuko’s Agni Kai lmao.) The plot.
The Aang VS Zuko fight! A reference to the Fortune Teller fight. The team did so well. 
Zuko The Master of Disguise Major In Stealing Clothes. Full-time Avatar researcher. 
A fourth wall foreshadows Bumi’s OOC for this version. Jet’s "he’s not like he used to be" in line. I mean they did warn us. 
Another 4th wall is the line “Things shouldn’t be here” referring to the prototype Fire Nation balloon. 
Nice animation with the retelling of Two Lovers legend.
Lu Ten Funeral scene ate. That single teaaaar. I recommend everyone who loves the animation to watch this scene. To feel something idk AHAHAHAH. 
The actors were convincing when interacting with CGI animals. Specifically the badger moles. 
ZUKO AND IROH SCENES! 
CGI’s great did not waste any money 
In Katara’s flashback. She experienced this in her present form. And when she was so scared to go to the place where her mom was killed, she immediately changed back to her young self. Like, I wanted that so bad when I was watching the flashback. I thought, this shouldn’t be the present-day Katara. There should be a moment when she switches back to young again. And they did. 
Big Iroh-like moment that makes you cry as an adult when Gyatso was reassuring Aang that the genoc*de wasn’t his fault, and shouldn’t blame himself. Ahh, and the subtle sadness as they say goodbye. 
Random eye drawing from Zuko. He’s an artist AHAHAHAH. Okay, I forgot which episode. Sincerely, unreliable narrator. 
Showing Zuko's scar when Aang says "Do you even know that lives are at stake". 
Basically every scene/plot they 1 by 1 copy from the show. Did not disappoint (well, maybe because OG showrunners were there). Blue Spirit, Siege of the North. 
Zuko’s room. I love me some character bedrooms. He’s like a TV Sitcom character for that. 
Gaang teamwork scenes! It works and it's dynamic. 
Hahn as an honorable man? Yes. I don’t like love triangles so much. I like me some camaraderie. And Ian (Sokka) acted well for feeling included and seen as Hahn recognized his value as warrior/intel. 
Zutara fight scene.
Two points that I don’t know if I like but it makes me realize some stuff:
Meek Katara. I know there are specific plot points that Feisty Katara is needed. But she was always nurturing, so I think it makes sense she’s…meek? That Jet scene explains it. Maybe because I relate to her being a log AHAHAHAH. But yeah, uh, I do not, ironically, have strong feelings against that water down.
Angry Bumi. IDK how to feel about him tbh. I always think Bumi is…harsh like that. Almost scary. But yeah, he never blames Aang. Still, it doesn’t feel out of place here. He will return anyway so he’s not this one-dimensional character that is only angry at his friend (hopefully). I never thought of how Bumi would actually feel. And that he will be upset, and now it’s sad because that’s like your friend when you were twelve years old and you wonder where he’s been all this time, and if he’s alive. And..war..never made it any better to process that emotion. So, we got two versions, one that is cautious and then eventually welcomes him, and another who's completely angry and blames a literal kid that he does not know the pain (from the war). Too real, and I personally don’t mind. 
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yanderes-galore · 2 years ago
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Could I request rise raph with the prompts, 4, 14, and 29?
This is my prompt list for those who want to know. Sorry for the long wait, TMNT has been hard to write for me recently. Aged up as usual :)
This fic is a mutual relationship, it just takes place in an AU of after the movie where you attempt to help Raph through his unhealthy coping of trauma caused by the Krang. So expect dark themes even if it is short.
Yandere! ROTTMNT Raphael Prompts 4, 14, 29
Pairing: Romantic
"My heart belongs to you, I'll adore anything you do to it."
"It's too dangerous in the world. You need me, you should know that!"
"I want to be this close... forever...."
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Trauma, Unhealthy coping, Imprisonment implied, Clingy Raphael, Delusional behavior, Fear of abandonment, Accidental manipulation, You have no idea your relationship is becoming toxic, AU of after the Rise Movie.
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Raphael loves his family. He's a family turtle and wants to love and protect his loved ones! He's hopeless when it comes to love and gets all giggly around the one he adores.
You can see it clear as day when he's around you. Raphael is so giddy when around you. The tall and hulking turtle towers over you but with innocent excitement. He just loves you so much.
Love makes some people act a bit irrationally.
Raphael wants to be super affectionate with you. Physical touch makes the large turtle feel loved. It makes him feel that you're safe....
Raphael has had trouble feeling safe ever since Leonardo's near passing due to the Krang.
He's quickly become overbearing. His hugs are a bit too desperate, crushing you in his strength. It's like Raphael forgot boundaries around you.
You try to rebuild said boundaries, only for him to tear them down.
He never means to, of course. Raphael's just dealing with a bit of... trauma. Trauma he needs you to help him get through.
His coping mechanisims are a bit extreme though.
"It's too dangerous in the world..." He starts, tears in his eyes. "You need me, you should know that!"
Raphael holds you close, arms tightly wrapped around you as you lay on top of him. He had gone into a mental breakdown when you tried to leave the lair. It's been three days... his mental health declining without you around.
"I trust you to protect me... but we need space." You try to convince him, turning to hold his face. "I'm here to talk although I want to go home-"
"This is your home! Home is wherever we are.... I don't want you to be hurt. Please... trust me! I'll protect you as long as I'm here!"
"Raph..." You sigh softly. "I can't always be here."
"Then I'll always be around you!"
"You can't do that either...."
Raphael holds you closer, not liking what you said. He's matured from when he was younger. It's just that the Krang attack really made him think of just how easy it is to lose someone.
He's scared if something goes wrong... he may lose you next.
"You don't know that! I'd do anything for you..."
He nuzzles himself closer. You feel like a teddy bear in his arms. Something to cling to when scared....
"My heart belongs to you, I'll adore anything you do to it."
He gives you a nervous smile. He may be as old as you... but he still acts like a scared child. It saddens you... yet it's expected.
Seeing nearly all your home destroyed and your loved ones threatened would affect anyone this way.
"I just want you safe. The lair is the safest place I know! Why don't you want to stay here with me?"
"I want space and the ability to be my own person, Raph."
You comfort him softly despite his denial being evident. You sigh and pull him closer. You loved him, yes...
Love should not mean imprisoning your partner, however.
"I'll be here to comfort you... just please, let me go."
Raphael is silent, you swear you hear him sniffling. You stay still and allow him to hold you. You have a feeling if he keeps this up... your relationship may be strained.
"I want to be this close... forever...."
Your heart sinks at what he says. You allow him to roll you over and cage you into the couch. Nothing malicious... he just wants to feel your warmth.
Raphael is adorable to you... even if what he's doing is wrong. Despite what he does, you find him adorable. You have a feeling you can help fix him and bring him back to how he was before.
You have no idea that your love only encourages his obsession...
Or that he may only get worse if you give into his clingy behavior and not fix your boundaries.
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omniseurs-blog · 4 months ago
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Last rant before bed, because I guess I'm in a ranting mood today and I need to focus on the positives and bettering my life instead.
On being trans and schizospec/having any mental illnesses
I try to hide the fact that I'm trans if I'm open about being mentally ill and hide being mentally ill if I'm open about being trans. It's a natural reaction to all the "trans people are just crazy! Trans people are delusional!" And "schizophrenics are liars/manipulators!" "Schizophrenics can't know themselves!" arguments.
Let's open up about this a little more, maybe I won't be lynched at the stake for being both at the same time. I came out as trans when I was 11 years old, I'm 23 now. Most people would never guess I was born with no dick, and for the most part, there's no reason for me to tell anyone who isn't a medical professional that I am trans. I don't date, I barely attempt to make friends and don't have much of an urge to (I just know socializing is healthy, and not socializing will kill you younger), and I'm not really doing anything that would make it essential for anyone to know what's in my pants or under my shirt.
Unfortunately, around 14-15 years old my father's genetics caught up with me and I had my first psychotic break all the way up until starting to recover at 18, and any semblance of connection to the trans community was lost along with my sanity. The trans communities I talked in pushed me away as much as I pushed them away because of my schizophrenia. Trying to talk in schizophrenia support groups, of course, I was pushed away for being trans. In order to talk anywhere about anything I needed support with, I had to, essentially, code switch. In trans groups, I may as well be the most mentally stable person ever who just needs a little help with this one aspect of transition, acceptance, or passing, and then I'm off to the schizophrenia support group, where I might as well be the straightest manliest man ever who just needs a little help with this one aspect of delusional thinking and identifying hallucinations, and then I'm off to the rest of society to be the most mentally healthy straightest manly man to exist (and then crash at home in a mess of unmasking and questioning my existence and if life will ever get easier).
Essentially, I abandoned both communities, exclusively getting help in therapy, through medications, self help books and self therapy, and focusing on things that I actually cared about, but that lack of acceptance is still there in both communities, in the broader public, and online.
I'm only one or another to each person I know, or else it's back to desperately explaining that, no, I'm not experiencing "delusions of gender dysphoria", yes, I'm actually trans, yes, I know I am, I've been out as trans for longer than my symptoms appeared AND recovered from them (12 years now), yes, I'm medicated, no, the hormones didn't cause the psychosis or else I'd be in psychosis right now and would've fallen out of it during the ~3 year period where I want taking hormones because the dumbass doctor reached the same conclusion, and yes, I'm still happier as a man even if being a woman meant psychosis never would have happened (it would've happened either way)
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stevie-petey · 7 months ago
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YAYYYY THANK YOU STEVIE PETEY!!!! Also am I delusional or am I sensing a lil jealousy from my lil baby Robin? Maybe Steve did miss his chance and it's rugs/ bobins era now. I need to know what Steve has been saying to Dustin about bug!?!? Like what do you mean he likes her in white?? How do you know this you mysterious little man? Hopper and bug have my whole heart you don't understand. I totally understand how bug could be a little disturbed by the kids relationships cause when she was their age she was looking for lizards in the woods with Jonathan and these kids are making out? She'd be so weirded out. Like imagine your younger brother having his first kiss before you, that's gotta sting a lil. It sucks that bugs probably gonna be stuck in the elevator when the mind flayer comes back cause will needs his big sister😭. And Steve's jealous ugghhh it's what I feed off of. Steve and bug both having the same worries about each other is so soulmate of them Jesus Christ. Bug knowing that Steve is struggling with his father, and how she wishes she could show him how smart and amazing he is is so sad and sweet. He's really so amazing. And I know he's gonna feel all cool and sexy when he wins that fight with the Russian guard. Which is he is, he's 100% right. Dustin being disgusted with stug being cute is so real of him. Steve being a flirty little shit while being too scared to make a real move makes me wanna shake him. He knows she won't reject him, but he wants to make it special for her. Now that Steve has mostly given up douche bag ways I can see him as the kind of guy to remember every anniversary. First kiss? Yup, first date? Definitely. When he realized he was in love with bug? How could he forget it!? I need them to get together, better yet throuple with Robin. There's room for three, plenty of bug to go around. But honestly I can't wait for Robin and stug to become the ultimate friend group. I think Robin would make fun of Steve for having a girlfriend who's still in highschool, even though it's only a year between them.
mayhaps ur sensing something from robin 🤭🤭
and the scene with hopper n bug ugh i cant say a lot but that scene is suuuuper important n foreshadow-y they were so fun to write and theyve come so far since season 1 <3333
steves and bugs insecurities being DIRECT parallels of how jon/nance made them feel :((( my babies just need to kiss already. theyre so dumb like wdym ur scared u missed ur chance when ur KISSING EACH OTHERS NECKS ???? imbeciles i tell ya
speaking of imbeciles: steve blabs a lot and poor dustin just hears everything he isnt supposed to rip. and poor bug id also be so baffled by all the kids making out and dating like yall are CHILDREN go play video games and hide and seek get ur mouths away from each other (bug definitely is also a lil bummed dustin got his first kiss before her, it IS a tad embarrassing lmao)
and steve will 1000% he the bf who remembers the first time he even made EYE CONTACT with bug and shes just gonna be like ????? hello ??????
IM GLAD U ENJOYED THE CHAPTER THANK U FOR THE LOVELY ASK I LOOOOVE HEARING YALLS THOUGHTS <3333
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silenthillmutual · 1 year ago
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do you mind expanding on why you don't like CBT? i'm just curious cause i also have various things wrong w me (including baaddd fatigue) & i've been doing cbt for like 6 months for anxiety :P
i don't mind! but there's not really a ton to my answer. i expect that a part of why cbt doesn't work for me is because my mother is a therapist who used cbt (and judging from some things she's said about my childhood, probably aba) with me growing up, and it just... didn't work. it never lessened my anxiety. back in undergrad i had a cbt workbook, thinking it would help me work through the problems i was having, but every time i tried to use it, it just made me more stressed out.
sort of related, but the apa's page on cbt starts off by talking about how it's the most effective for of treatment for pretty much everything, better than medication, but the page doesn't link to any studies about this and i'm not sure if thats something you even could objectively measure. but the idea that it's 'more effective than medication' for even 'severe mental illness' feels like complete bullshit to me, and i think it creates a bias in some therapists, as i felt discouraged from taking medications in the past.
i don't deny that cbt helps some people, but i also don't believe it's possible to simply problem-solve your way out of, for example, hypo/mania or even depressive episodes when youve got bipolar disorder. which is, i'm guessing, part of why it doesnt do shit for people with cfs. the idea that someone experiencing a flare up can rationalize their way into feeling better is utterly ridiculous. cbt is, i am fairly certain, the main treatment for ocd, but how is it supposed to help me when my borderline delusional brain has already rationalized both the obsessive thought and the compulsive behavior?
i agree with the central tenet that coping skills are important, but something about the way cbt has been used with me has consistently made me feel like it was my fault that my brain works the way it does, and whenever i bring up something that happened in the past i feel dismissed. ive literally been told by therapists that since i no longer live in a bad situation, i should no longer act like i do, despite having lived in that situation for 84% of my life. it just feels like a very 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' approach to therapy that does not click with me at all.
regardless of my personal problems with it, i do hope it helps you, anon - and if it doesnt, i hope you find something that does! i think a lot of younger therapists are taking the approach to use a variety of therapies instead of sticking to just one. good luck!
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obsessivelyloved · 6 months ago
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I've read a bunch of your stuff for a while now, and it only just occurred to me that you don't really write for the Yan who attack their affection. I mean, yeah they get "punished" but not actually killed or maimed. That's not a bad thing! I just noticed cause I write Yan totally different and its p cool!
Like, I write them as a horror trope. All the obsessiveness building, a desire to take and control, to dissect the target socially or mentally or even physically, so the Yan knows them inside and out, and no one else can know them the same way. And if that hurts the target, then that doesn't matter.
Meanwhile, you write it more as a romantic or overprotective thing. "The world is bad, and I'll keep you away from it", where its more delusional(? Sorry, I don't know a nicer word for it) than straight up possessive.
I don't mean anything bad by this. Honestly, I think it's super cool! A base concept being two entirely separate subgenres(?) based on interpretation is just awesome, imo! And I'm not trying to say the two styles are exclusive, either! Just a sliding spectrum type deal.
I love your work, and would love to hear your thoughts! Like, do you intentionally stick to Possessive and/or Protective, or is it something you don't even think about? What inspires you? What's your go to trope when thinking about a new au/Yan?
I hope this isn't too much of a bother! Honestly, it's not even really a question, more of just an observation/admiration.
It's not a bother at all! This was honestly fun to receive as no one's ever asked me questions like this. I'm so sorry I got so rambly and excited that I'm gonna have to put this under a read more 😭
I do intentionally stick to the whole Possessive/Protective/Delusionall way of writing for my fics! Growing up, nearly all the yandere fics I could get my hands on and read were violent. I loved reading yandere stuff but so much of it had me baffled and wondering if the yandere even loved their love interest. A lot of it was yanderes hurting and berating their love interest. I just could not wrap my head around the why when I was younger, especially since I was facing abuse at home. My reasoning when I was a pre-teen was a yandere was supposed to be insanely in love with a person, why behead them? (Actual fic I read on devientart)
You can probably tell on my blog since I do this now still, but I bounced a lot between platonic yandere and romantic yandere. Some of my platonic works float around somewhere (I wrote platonic yandere father England to America for Hetalia at some point LMAO) but not much of my old stuff is in my docs. My dad would go through my shit every once and a while and so I was so paranoid with my writings that a lot of stuff is just sitting in one google docs of an email that I can't quite remember.
That was quite long-winded but it's just my go-to. It started out as intentionally writing stuff this way and now I hardly ever think about it. I'm not sure how easy this is to tell from my blog, but I've been suffering from depression for years. I get periods where I feel so energized and alive and ready to write that I spam this or my other blogs with writing. Most of my inspiration comes from those periods, when I receive asks and am actually in the headspace to get the picture out of my brain.
Half the time though, I get the inspiration from stuff I read or watch! And I'm not sure if this counts as a trope, but quite a bit starts as a platonic yandere thing. I think of Tord mainly, being overprotective over a child, and then once I get that out of my system the au shifts. The Android Tord au actually started that way before I shifted to Tord focusing on the other 3! The platonic thing also started when I was young, again from the abuse I was facing at home.
If that doesn't count as a trope, then I suppose robots/unhuman entities! I have quite a few aus like that on here haha. I just love the concept and use it a lot for different aus/scenarios. A concept I've kept in my brain for a long, LONG time is of Zombie Tord taking care of a small child alongside a robot version of himself that he built. Bits and pieces exist in my docs but I've never really written anything coherently lol.
Wait now that you've got me going!!! HOMESTUCK!! I have this bigass au that's remained in my brain off any docs or paper for YEARS! I've tried writing it in a way to post but I've just never gotten very far since there's so much lore and detail that I need for people to understand but get too overwhelmed. A loooot of stuff starts from that au and branches off into whatever single entity I wrangle it into.
Aside from that, I also just don't bother posting anything from it because man people do not like anything that isn't an x reader or even a reader insert. A lot of my stuff flops hard because it's not x reader-based. Whole other can of worms that I won't get into though!
Thank you so much for sending this! This was so surprising and pleasant to receive!
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oraclemoontarot · 4 months ago
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ahh ur cool to chat with.
im sure kpop has set ways but lately im uncertain as to what they are aiming for... loved enhypens recent comeback it was so cool, did u see it yet? but again theyre an other group I can only really like and its so strange to me when theres teens who r obviously much younger than myself overly obsessing and being possesive over the idols bc i had exactly the same stance about western bgs during the 00s. now im kind of just enjoying them for the music and dont feel the need to deeply obsess over every detail but tarot blogs r so fun to ask qs and find out stuff we couldnt find out about one direction etc etc. it honestly seems so long ago the 00s and its weird bc when u find a new group and theyre so young i have to check difference in age gaps nowadays (lowkey wish there wasnt an age concept at all in society bc then it wouldnt matter). but ngl it is so awkward, like even seeing how ppl nowadays still flock to harry styles home town (yes also did that myself). yet kpop in general has so many cool themes and vast difference in terms of performance styles as well.
ik its only awkward if u make it awkward but ppl kinda take obsessing abt idols way too far. yet we have all been thru that phase so i get it but kpop stans seem next level crazy sometimes in a good way sometimes in a bad way, i also dont get how such delusional obsessions can lead to building closer relationship with said idol like u aint just going to make friends if ur crying over them in front of them yaknow? and other stuff like going to their hotels or following them whilst theyre out in their downtime. i dont think theres ever just been a non crazy time for idols at all. i cant imagine what their dorm rooms must be like cause I bet they all been doing other adult / human things lmfao. yet the way their fans overreact to mere dating rumors is ridiculous atp. or say for instance idols future spouses as well is the topic that seem to get ppl most riled up when it comes to thee sorts of readings. lowkey sometimes i ask why do i need to know but i ask anyway bc why the fuck not then i think its childish of me lol
aw tyy so are you!! I haven't watched their mv or listened to their album yet (if it wasn't a single), but I heard parts of it online and it does sound real good, I used to be an engene so maybe it's a sign to listen to this comeback.
no I get you so much here especially. Being a fan(girl) is so so much fun, you get to watch content, listen to music, learn about the members, go to concerts, collect merch, and meet other fans. There's a whole culture and community around it that, when you first get into kpop, it's so exciting. It's unsurprising people would get obsessed at first.
But yeah, I personally get really excited watching their content or over an idol (ahem haechan) when on my own, but whenever I meet them in person it's like all that excitement disappears and I'm like, 'oh, they're just a guy/person...', and it's really chill. I don't at all know how people think following them around, partaking in every single fancall, and getting overly excited and emotional would lead to them getting close with them.
You know, I think this obsessiveness dies down as we mature/get older. It's like we have other things to focus on, we become more grounded with less free time, and distance ourselves a little more.
Please, just imagining they're probably lying in bed scrolling through videos etc. while at home is kinda funny. They likely do what we do anyway as they're people at the end of the day, it kind of makes you see them more... normally?
We're alike haha. Yeah it's fun, especially with ideal type readings etc. but then you take a step back and think, am I doing too much? 😭
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