#I really needed that today

[ashtraythief]

So, firstly, I just have to say, I mcfreaking LOVE your work. The Underneath series? Mwuah, chef’s kiss, changed my brain chemistry. I will forever be inspired by and cherish your work. Perhaps I can’t properly express my appreciation for your writing and the characterizations and world-building you’ve done, but please know that I appreciate your work dearly and it never fails to inspire me to write better every time that I read something of yours.

That being said, I was re-reading the Underneath series, yes? And I’m on the second chapter of Pressure Point where Busy tells Jared that Alona was the one to reach out to her. And I realized something. Although you’ve never touched upon it explicitly in your fics from what I can remember, I realized that, just like the other agents that aren’t on a case, her information is accessible on the FBI’s database, something of which we know Jared has access to. We also know that Alona is Jensen’s make-believe sister. In True Lies Jared mentions that Jensen had once told him that he and his sister look similar. What if Jared wants a photo of her? Or even just wants to know concretely how she looks like? I can’t remember if Jensen had actually ever shown Jared a photo of her — being that he was extremely protective of her because as we know he can’t let Jared get any sort of close to Jensen’s real identity which includes Alona in herself — but if he hasn’t yet, it makes me wonder (and scared!) how that might bring upon the beginning of the end for them. Because then Jared would be able to connect the dots. “Your sister looks like Special Agent Alona Tal? Your sister IS Special Agent Alona Tal???” And see the thing is, even Jensen doesn’t know that it was Alona that approached Busy. He just knows it was Morgan who set everything up. So he wouldn’t know showing Jared a picture of his “sister” is a deadly mistake.

Of course I’m not actually sure if Alona’s information is even on the database or if Jensen would ever show Jared a picture of his “sister,” but it was a possibility I realized while re-reading Pressure Point and rediscovering that it was Alona that approached Busy, not Morgan or one of the other agents.

Truthfully I’m scared of the possibility because obviously I love the boys and want them to live a happily ever after together! But I suppose I had to share my horrified thoughts with you and get some insight on this possibility.

Thank you again for all the work you do! I’ve gained so much from you allowing us to read your creations and I’m all the better for it. Keep doing what your doing and be proud of the work you are doing!

- An avid fan <3

Omg *flails wildly* nonnie, thank you so so much for your kind words, I'm kind of speechless. Obviously it means a lot to me when people enjoy my writing but knowing that it inspired someone is insane? And lovely? It's all the things and I have all the feelings now, and I can express them properly like the good writer I am lol.

As for your question, omg, that is a deep dive. And I get the anxiety, but I think the simple answer is that Jensen will never allow them to meet and never plans to show Jared a picture. Mostly it's because Jensen never thought the charade would go that far. I think Jensen never expected to be with Jared for years and that Jared wanting to see/meet his sister would eventually become a real problem. It could be now, but I think the longer Jensen is with Jared, the less he pretends to be in contact with his sister and as someone who doesn't have a lot of contact with his own family, I don't think that Jared finds it very strange. Esp bc Jensen's reasons for keeping her away from all the crime stuff are solid. So I think Alona/Jensen's sister aren't a problem. Jensen has other problems and liabilities that might be much more dangerous in the future 😅

And I can only return your sentiment, nonnie. My life has become so much better since I've started writing and sharing my stories. Sometimes knowing that people enjoy my fics so much they take the time to send me tumblr messages still feels absolutely batshit. In the best possible way. And while I am proud of (most lol) of my writing, l am most proud that I can write something that brings other people joy.

Thank you so so much 💙

[reploidbuddy]

I LOVE UR WRITING

AAAAAAA THANK YOUUUU 💜💜💜💜💜 ;-;

[alongwaytostar]

I had one of these sensory slugs on my bag

And a guy in the bus took his big headphones off to ask me where I got it. He said it would make the perfect stim toy. So before he got off at his stop, I took it off my bag and gave it to him. I told him it’s name was sally and he gave me the sweetest smile. Sometimes humans can be pretty cool.

[yeahyankee]

You Cannot Fetch Happy

[curse-of-rose]

If you receive this, you make someone happy. Go on anonymous and send this to ten of your followers who make you happy or some that you think need cheering up. If you get some back, even better.

Thank you so much 🥺❤️❤️❤️

[caressthosecheekbones]

If you receive this you make someone happy. Go send this to ten people who make you happy or someone you think needs cheering up. If you get some back,even better! and have a lovely day :) 💕💜💕💜💕💜💕

oh dear 🥺❣️🙏🌟💜💕✨❤️

[chaoticallycosmic]

I bet you aren't writing as much as you used to because you feel like you don't matter at all, right? I bet you are suffering in silence. I hope not, hope you reach out to people. I still remember what happened last year and you seem to be doing better and I really hope it stays that way. You deserve to know you're appreciated and cared about. Don't give up on writing because other people are assholes. Love ya!

[maevemills]

Okay but my Spotify playlist just went and served me the 3 most perfect songs in a row to sing out loud in the shower: Careless Whisper + Wicked Game + Do I Wanna Know

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[panstarry]

my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟

[itsajollyjester]

Family Portrait

The only family he has.

[salamispots]

posting a gift wip since I know my siblings aren't on here haha

[trashmancer]

Evil Gale 🧠 I was drawing this one while finishing up the happy Gale, and it possessed me.

[girlboyburger]

i was extremely sleep deprived yesterday when i discovered the dragon survival mod which was LIFE CHANGING when you're on three hours of sleep so of course i made a whole custom forest dragon texture in one day about it. and. just for fun, some concept art i made for it:

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good morning, Sleepyhead.

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[doctorsiren]

Day 25 of Sirentober / Doctober

Muse / Oracle

The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters

Available as a print on my Etsy Shop