#I really love how complicated Ves's head is

[aklxojjk]

Chica Tímida

[ Gekko x Fem!Reader ] Gekko looks through your phone and finds the Spanish lessons Reyna was giving you.

note - This has the smallest amount of lore, reader understands Spanish but doesn't know how to speak very well, i got most of my Spanish from my Mexican friend so if its wrong please let me know. ALSO ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE SORRY FOR THE GRAMMAR.

w/c - 2k

warnings - Smut, praise, dirty talk, dirty talk in Spanish, very passionate, riding, fingering.

purple text is Reyna and green is Gekko in case y'all get confused.

MDNI

You sit up in your small but comfortable bed rubbing your eyes, looking at your clock it shines a bright 7:00 AM at you. Groaning slightly you get up and make your way to the bathroom, turning the lights on you start brushing your teeth immediately. After getting done with your daily skincare routine you change into more acceptable clothing, since you sleep with just panties and a shirt on every day.

Making your way to the kitchen you see a bare-faced Reyna drinking some black coffee. 

"Good morning chica." She says in between sips.

"Morning... I just had the worst sleep ever, felt like I just took a nap, you?" Yawning you make your way to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee and some scrambled eggs with bacon.

"it was alright, our work has been pretty complicated lately" She looks at you with a sly smile. 

"Why are you looking at me like that Reyna... What did I do this time?" you give her a smile taking the seat in front of her, taking a sip of your coffee.

"How have you and Gekko been?" Her tone is playful.

"We've been good unless he told you otherwise…?" your statement comes out more like a question.

"No, he told me you guys were closer than ever... but he wishes you were closer if you know what I mean." she sips her coffee nonchalantly.

"I see, I mean the only reason I've been hesitating is because I wish I could talk to him more you know... sensually but in Spanish." looking away from her, you feel your cheeks grow warm. 

Your relationship with Reyna has always been really good even before Gekko joined the team, but recently you noticed that she has been talking to him more, and that made you feel as if you couldn't share information with her about your relationship with Gekko. Maybe it was the fear that she would disapprove of you guys relationship or perhaps you were just too timid to share all the details.

"How about I teach you some phrases?" 

"Please do" Pulling up the notepad app on your phone you give her a nod as if to say 'I'm ready'

"Just give me your phone I'll write them down for you"

You immediately give her the phone and finish your breakfast, grabbing her empty plate and putting it in the sink. When you come back she puts your phone in front of you, smirking.

"'Okay let's see if the pro has game" You smile at her and pick up the phone.

qué guapo estás

me encatas

estoy loca por ti

Estoy pensando en ti todo el tiempo

estás bueno

cógeme

https://www.spanish_pillow_talk.com

You can understand most of these except for the word before the link, they were normal compliments one would give their partner.

"What does cógeme mea-" Your sentence is cut short when wingman jumps in your lap, meaning Gekko is not too far behind. 

"Hola amiguito" 

"Hi wingman" you say before squeezing the poor little guy.

"Hola mi Reyna, hola mi cariño" his arms wrap around you from behind and you feel his head on top of yours, before you could look up he gives you a quick kiss on the forehead and heads to the kitchen to grab his breakfast.

"Te ves guapo hoy." you immediately shift your gaze to Reyna looking for some sort of approval, and she nods slowly. 

"Only today? I thought I looked good every day." His laugh can be heard from far away, that laugh that you so loved. 

"You know what I mean" Rolling your eyes you click on the link that Reyna had left on your notes, the website took a while to load so you just went to get water. 

"Gekko you've got training later today with Harbor, I totally wish I could stay pero yo tengo una meeting con brimstone" Reyna stands up making her way out the door.

"So I was thinking we could hang out before you have to train" You come back to the table water in hand, and as you sit down you notice your phone is missing. 'Where is my phone?' you thought lifting the table cloth and checking all of Gekko's pets to see if they had it, but your phone was still missing.

"So what exactly do you mean by "hang" before I train" he has a slight smile on his face, he's holding your phone reading something off it.

"just hang out in your room- Oh." you quickly snatched your phone off his hand, checking what he was reading. Your phone read: 'Pillow talk in Spanish' 

“just hang?”

"I was asking Reyna how to uhm compliment you in Spanish and she… she recommended that website!" your nervousness gave it away, he knew you were lying.

“so Reyna recommended you to talk dirty to me? no necesitas mentirme, estoy tan duro pensando en ti” He’s no longer interested in his food but rather you.

You look down at your notes analyzing everything you could say to him right now. “okay maybe we won’t just hang, but please speak slowly so I can understand you.” Eyebrows dropping as if begging him for mercy. 

“Of course,” He took his time throwing all the trash out and leaving the dishes in the sink, but once he was done he lifted you making your legs wrap around his waist. “I’ll do whatever you ask me to”

As he walked to the room he kept giving quick pecks on your lips and cheeks, making you blush as you looked him deeply in those brown eyes of his. Gekko is okay with PDA but knowing you don’t like it, he chose to not embarrass you in case someone comes out of their room.

Stopping the kisses to get the door open, he sits down on the edge of the bed with you still in his lap. He pushes his lips against yours again when all of a sudden he bites your lip softly and you open your mouth just enough to let his tongue in, the heat is intensifying and your moans start getting more audible. Your hips can’t help but grind against his clothed dick, which he responds with helping hands deepening the friction. You both break the kiss to catch your breath but when you are about to go back in he makes you stand, then spins you around so your back is facing him and he sits you down again on his lap. 

“Relax cariño,” You feel his warm breath as he gets closer to your neck, then your shoulders, then up to your face… teasing you slowly as he leaves a trail of kisses. His hands caress your hips just above your panties, his digits twirl around the cloth, he subsequently slides it off your thigh then drops it on the floor. “Estas tan mojada” he whispers in your ear as his hands roam all around your thigh but not where you need him most. One of his hands leaves your thigh and you feel his digits go up and down your slit, spreading it, collecting some of your wetness.

your hand covers your mouth making it very hard for him to hear you, you didn’t mind that since this whole situation made you so timid.

 “Why are you so quiet.. am I not doing this right?” You feel Gekko’s frown as he kisses your neck before he pushes his fingers inside you, gently pumping you, curving them ever so slightly trying to find your sweet spot.

“Cógeme porfa..” You didn't mean for it to come as a whimper but you’re glad it did because he started fingering you deeper and faster, every pump hitting your sweet spot and making you huff and whimper out his name. 

“I will as soon as you cum” his voice low as he concentrated on making you feel good, his free hand stops roaming your hips now cupping one of your breasts fidgeting with your nipple. He knows you’re close and that's turning him on. “Tan hermosa” his whispers in your ear tickle, you turn your head to look at him with eyebrows furrowed and lips parted. 

“I’m about to- “ his glistening wet fingers slide out of you leaving you with a feeling of emptiness, but that's instantly replaced with pleasure when he starts rubbing circles on your clit. You can’t manage to get any words out as your orgasm takes over you, leaving your legs trembling and your eyes closed shut. 

His fingers start rapidly rubbing your sensitive spot as you're coming down from your high, the movement makes you throw your head back against his shoulder. Once you’ve stopped trembling you hide your face on his neck, kissing it and marking your territory.

He once again makes you stand up only this time though he stands up with you sliding his pants down, he sits back down on the bed with his arms behind him to support him. 

You try to be sexy by leaning down and rubbing him through his boxers but he pulls you in by the waist forcing you to fall on top of him, you lift yourself off of him and pull his boxers down. One of his hands is firmly gripping your waist and the other is still behind him. 

“Me encanta cuando me miras así” This is probably the most you have used your brain to speak Spanish but it pays off seeing the look he gave you. 

“yeah?” the hand on your waist forces you down on him earning a moan from you as he took you by surprise, you both let out a groan as more of him slides inside. Both his hands grab a hold of your ass and start moving you, making you grind on him. You speed up as he adjusts himself inside you, thinking the grinding isn't enough you start to bounce on him. He lays back down pulling you with him, kissing you passionately as his back hits the mattress. 

“qué rico mami, me encantas” He whispers sweetly in your ear while his hands rub your back, his lips giving you a small kiss on the cheek, then your lips, then down your neck. “I love you”

“I love you too” You’re drunk off his love, eyes closed, smiling at anything he says, craving his touch as you push your body against his. All of that comes to an end when you open your eyes and go back to riding on him, he pulls you down just enough to be able to grab your boobs. You look at him sweetly and he does the same to you, he adores you.

His eyebrows furrowed as you picked up a pace and his hands left your torso and are now on your hips again, making you grind faster. One of his hands leaves your side and holds your face making you look at him as he’s about to cum. He wants to see your face when you finish with him inside, he wants to see you throw your head back, your mouth part open, and he wants to hear you moan his name.

His eyes are closed but he tries to keep them half open as he's about to cum, your mouth agape slightly as you feel your second orgasm arrive. You push your lips against his own as you both moan in each other mouth, his hands never leaving you.

Gasping for air you part ways, getting off him and lying next to each other you both stare at each other. Nothing but love in both your eyes, smiling wide you giggle a bit.

"¿qué~?" he hugs you as you both laugh

“you should speak Spanish more often, you sound so sexy” You say with your face in his neck

“you should too, i loved it.”

[trutrustories]

STUDY IN LOKI ROMANCE

Part 4: Heart of the TVA

Since we're only a few days away from the last episode, I decided to COUNT DOWN everything we´ve got so far ( that can be interpreted very easily as romantic ) and discuss what the actual fuck is going on with second season. Because even though I shipped lokius practically from S1E2, I absolutely did NOT expect this kind of development. (Not that I´m complaining)

Warning: This is gonna be LONG post, lots of screenshots, lots of SPOILERS, lot of "oh-my-god-they-so-cute" language, and little bit of meta.

I originally thought that this post would be everything at once, but since I have just too many screenshots this time around, I´ll have to split it. so every post will be one episode. Color coding means:

IIIIIIIIII = anything, that coud potentialy be just acting choice.

IIIIIIIIII = everything else (tzn.: whatever was written, and/or carefully prepared by filmmakers. )

side note: I already wrote, about how amazing it is, that Mobius is unable to fight but fights anyway and how beautifuly, and ridiculously brave he is HERE. But this is about Loki/Mobius interactions, so I´ll try my best not to talk about THAT. (Even when I´m really happy, that s2 continues with this formula and Mobius is still his completely defenseless while aggressively brave self. I love him, btw.)

EPISODE 1 HERE

EPISODE 2 HERE

EPISODE 3 HERE

check-list, episode 4 (my beloved): 33) changing clothes together not to be that person, but like... they always went through the door from TVA on timeline in their "camouflage disguises". So Loki couldn't use his magic to change their clothes. I mean... they even make turning off system that prevents magic plot point in this episode So unless they have some special device in TVA (which was never established) It is implied, that these two just spend some time changing clothes together, before going out. And that brings me to this specific moment: At the end of the previous episode we see them going through the time door (fairly soon after Victor Timely, in 1893 clothing) And this episodes starts with Victor ariving at TVA and wondering around the empty hallways. Alone. So let me get this straight: After we see them both walk through the time door, they end in that war room (were they met in ep1), just the two of them. Victor is.... somewhere. who knows where, who even cares? And they though: it is actualy priority number one to change our clothes. Yes, right now. Never mind, we have He Who Remains variant wondering around the TVA and everything is going to explode soon. We have to take our clothes off. RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. I´m sorry, film makers, but what the acual f-

34) Bickering like married couple (part 4) (but this time with EVERYONE else watching them with question marks above their heads. And these two idiots husbands probably didn´t even noticed xDD )

Also.... "It´s got your shape" 😳 really? really Mobius? And how would you- oh sorry, my bad, never mind. I almost forget you were changing clothes togheter MULTIPLE TIMES, so of course you would know that. ... right? 35) The "misunderstanding trope"

This whole scene is just... jeeez! Sylvie screeming at Mobius for wanting cake (while Loki already knows, that Mobius wants it, because he is in a stress.) He tries to stop Sylvie, but she continues. Loki circles around her and ends up right between them (cough...smybolism...cough) And Sylvie starts attacking Mobius because he doesn´t want to know his life on a timeline. While Loki is RIGHT THERE, knowing perfectly well Mobiuses reason´s and how bad she is hurting him, because episode 2 happened. Loki knows. And then she leaves, and Loki follows her. But Mobius doesn´t know, what we know: and that he went to her to DEFEND HIM. Jeeeeeeez writers.... thanks, for this perfect example of romantic complication. Dramatic irony 100%. I´m living for this relationship drama while everything around them collapses and explodes. 10/10 television!

Also... poor man needed pick-me-up cocoa drink immediately after 😭

36) Pie scene number two I have to say, I LOVED this scene. EVERY FUCKING WORD. philosophical conflicts? yes please. moral dilemas? give me more! but let´s focus on Loki defending Mobius. Him bringing up Thor into the coversation, and comparing his change on Earth (that he didn´t understand before) to his own change that came from spending time at TVA. spending time with Mobius. And he is standing infront of pies this whole time! basicly him low key comparing Thor´s love for Jane to his love for Mobius

And let´s not forget how obvious the difference between two pie scenes is! Because the first one is full of relaxed gestures, kindness and understanding. Just Loki and Mobius being intimite and open with each other 🥹 In glaring contrast with that, THIS scene, with Sylvie is full of conflict, tention and disagreements. The are standind, far from each other, and whole room has completely different (horror like) vibe.

37) THIS SHOT. just the two of them, right before the end.

God I love this episode so much! 💛💛💛

[newtonsheffield]

Hey Molly! Hope all is well. I ve been enjoying the Mile High and Hard Time updates. I love your creative imagination with telling so many different stories of Kate and Anthony’s romance. Can we get a Drabble of something from F1 AU as I love the new Bridgerton Family Racing poster advertising the upcoming Dutch Grand Prix. It was such a fun Kate and Anthony racing AU.

I’m glad you’re enjoying them!

I literally think about Nothing Good Starts Kate and Anthony once a week minimum.

Kate stopped as she approached the pit wall. Anthony was lounging back in her seat, her headset on, KSB shining in gold on blue. He had his race suit on, his hands behind his head, a smile on his face. He was wearing his race suit, Bridgerton stretched against the back of his fireproofs his biceps flexing as he moved and Kate felt something hot tug at her stomach even as irritation flickered in her chest.

“You’re in my seat, Bridgerton!” She called out, watching with a bit of satisfaction as he spun around, grinning at the sight of her.

“Just keeping it warm for you.” He shot out of the chair, his hair ruffled as he pulled her in for a kiss, his hand on her neck.

She sighed as she pulled back, plucking her headset off, “Did you need to keep my headset warm too?”

Anthony gave her a not quite sheepish grin, “No I was trying to listen in to Simon, who seems to be flirting with Daphne.”

“Neither of those people have a mic on.”

“Yes well, I have Gerard, one of the engineers standing very close and he does have a microphone.”

Kate rolled her eyes, “I think they’d actually be really nice together.”

Anthony scrunched his face, “Absolutely not. Besides, I don’t want to talk about this.”

Kate sighed, sitting back in her chair. But she let him lean over her, his hands either side of her, his legs pressed against hers. “Do you want to talk about the plan for quali today?”

Anthony tutted, “Drive fast. I think I’ve got it.”

“It’s a little more complicated than that.” Kate rolled her eyes, but his lips were so close to touching hers she couldn’t focus on anything else.

“I don’t think I want to drive today.” Anthony said suddenly pulling back, his lips tugging at the corner, a cheeky little smirk forming.

Kate stared at, blinking stupidly, reeling from the loss of his warm chest against hers. “What?!”

Anthony waved at the camera as it passed but didn’t bother to truly step back. She could see them on the screens from the corner of her eye, Anthony leaning over her, standing between her legs as she leaned back. She liked the slow smile on her face and how comfortable they looked together, a matched set. And she liked that the crowd roared when they saw Anthony, top of the championship yet again, yet to be off the podiums this year, it made something proud flicker in her. Her husband.

Anthony leaned in closer, aware of the cameras on them and his lips brushed her ear when he spoke, “I think I need a little… extra incentive.”

Kate felt a little breathless, his arms warm around her and his chest pressed against her. “What did you have in mind?”

Anthony sighed, his fingertips slipping under the edge of her shirt, “I was only thinking… if I got pole position today… I’ve a position on a pole I’d very much like for you to hold tonight. I’d give you a trophy and everything.”

Kate’s stomach dropped and her cheeks burned but she swatted his head, pushing him backwards as the crowd roared with laughter as she stood.

“Get your bloody helmet on you dickhead!” She called back over her shoulder.

“Do we have a deal?!” He called back, hardly bothered.

“Obviously!”

She saw him grin right there on the screen in front of everyone.

And later, when he’s standing with his cap on, being interviewed, Kate could have slapped the smug smirk right off his face.

“Anthony, another pole position today, and I think we’re all desperate to know what you and the new Mrs Bridgerton were discussing earlier.”

Anthony laughed into the microphone, not a bit flustered as he adjusted his cap. “Is she still the new Mrs Bridgerton? We got married in May.”

“Still newlyweds right guys?” The crowd roared their approval and Anthony shrugged, his eyes twinkling.

“Well, obviously we’re not getting to ahead of ourselves yet, Pole positions only part of the job but um… Mrs Bridgerton and I think it’s very important to celebrate all sorts of positions.”

[belit0]

Hola! Leí como Shisui mas que ser un Don Juan era una persona que suprime y es negligente con sus sentimientos. En ese caso que pasaría si encuentra a alguien realmente que lo ama, lo admira y le tiene ternura (no por lastima), es paciente con él y quiere escuchar lo que siente? Un crush muy abierto y tímida sobre eso. La abandona o la evita? Puedo tener headcanons?

Me encanta lo que escribes!! :D

Request translation: Hi! I read how Shisui rather than being a Don Juan was a person who suppresses and is negligent with his feelings. In that case what if he finds someone who really loves him, admires him and has tenderness for him (not out of pity), is patient with him and wants to listen to how he feels? A very open and shy crush about it. Does he abandon her or avoid her? Can I have headcanons?

Huhuuuuuuuu prioridad porque #español

Shisui es, de hecho, una persona complicada. En mi punto de vista, es un niño que desde pequeño se quedo solo y aprendió a encontrar propósito en su vida atraves del uso que los demás le dieron, la forma en que la aldea lo trató de arma.

La relación que tiene con las mujeres nace por una necesidad de sentirse vivo, de experimentar algo mas allá de muerte y destrucción, de sentir algo distinto a la sangre que siempre tiene en la manos.

Encuentra una ellas un aspecto positivo que creyó imposible hayar, dándole un nuevo y lamentable sentido a la vida. Creo que podría estar adormecido sentimentalmente? Si, por supuesto, solo sabe experimentar cosas negativas o en su defecto, superficiales y efímeras.

Cruzarse con una muchacha que realmente lo ve, que realmente lo aprecia y lo quiere, le rompe la cabeza en mas de un sentido. Primero no sabe que hacer, en que momento ella creyó oportuno empezar a sentir cosas por él? Segundo, se encuentra con la necesidad de decidir que hacer, planear un escape o enfrentar la realidad?

Claro que su primer intención es huir, ghostearla, romperle el corazón. No porque sea una mala persona, sino porque será mas sencillo para ambos si (Y/N) comprende que no hay futuro posible con él. Llegará hasta el hecho de querer cojersela solo para sacársela de encima, aunque la muchacha le generé sensaciones extrañas y que no sabe identificar (amor, Shisui, es puto amor.)

Ella le permite acercarse, si, pero no lo deja entrar en su cama y tampoco le abre las piernas, lo cual lo frustra en desmedida. Es el desafio que (Y/N) propone lo que le ayuda a verla, a entender que la muchacha no quiere algo pasajero, que tiene un sentimiento diferente por él.

Es abrumador y no sabe como lidiar con ello, frustrado por no poder escapar y adicto a ella al mismo tiempo, cabeza confundida y desorientada. La paciencia de ella es lo que termina por solidificar una unión concisa, juntarlos en serio, pero toma mucho tiempo que Shisui olvide sus malos habitos.

Le cuesta creer que alguien lo quiera en serio, que tenga la posibilidad de realizar una conexión real en años, y es difícil despertar los sentimientos durmientes que lleva, aprender a desarrollarse en un vinculo real (eventualmente lo logra, y también logra ser feliz.)

English ver:

Huhuuuuuuuuuu priority because #español

- Shisui is, in fact, a complicated person. In my point of view, he is a boy who was left alone since he was a child and learned to find purpose in his life through the use that others gave him, the way the village treated him as a weapon.

- The relationship he has with women is born out of a need to feel alive, to experience something beyond death and destruction, to feel something other than the blood he always has on his hands.

- He finds in them a positive aspect that he thought impossible to find, giving a new and pitiful meaning to life. Do I think he could be sentimentally numb? Yes, of course, he only knows how to experience negative or, alternatively, superficial and ephemeral things.

- Crossing paths with a girl who really sees him, who really appreciates and loves him, breaks his head in more than one way. First, he doesn't know what to do, at what point did she think it was the right move to start feeling things for him? Second, he is faced with the need to decide what to do, plan an escape or face reality?

- Of course his first intention is to run away, ghost her, break her heart. Not because he is a bad person, but because it will be easier for them both if (Y/N) understands that there is no possible future with him. He will go so far as to try to fuck her just to get her off his back, even if the girl evokes strange feelings he cannot identify (love, Shisui, it's fucking love).

- She allows him to get close, yes, but she won't let him into her bed and won't open her legs for him either, which frustrates him to no end. It is the challenge that (Y/N) proposes that helps him to see her, to understand that the girl doesn't want something fleeting, that she has a different sentiment for him.

- It's overwhelming and he doesn't know how to deal with it, frustrated that he can't escape and addicted to her at the same time, head confused and disoriented. Her patience is what ends up solidifying a concise union, bringing them together in earnest, but it takes a long time for Shisui to forget his bad habits.

- It's hard for him to believe that anyone really loves him, that he has a chance of making a real connection after years, and it's hard to awaken the dormant feelings he carries, to learn how to evolve into a real bond (eventually he does, and he manages to be happy too.)

[voloslobotomyservice]

thank you @necroticyuzu for the tag! 💫 and thank you everyone who participated in my poll! I love talking about my little Tavs and I can’t stop making them so I’m always down to be tagged in these sorta things!

no pressure tags: @beesht @grandmother-goblin @auspex-author (yk I’m always down for Shior lore)

Name: Saoirse Nic’Phaid

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: mostly straight (but she’s working on defining it)

OTHER

Family: A complicated conversation. Older human father who’s unable to work, younger wood elf mother who abandons the family often, and an older brother Arthur who was tragically murdered five years before the events of BG3 took place.

Birthplace: Lower City of Baldur’s Gate.

Job: Criminal, I suppose? She doesn’t really have a traditional job. Instead, she’s spent most of her life stealing and then selling items to make a living. It even brought in more money than Arthur was making when he was alive and working.

Phobia: Thalassaphobia. She never learned how to swim.

Guilty Pleasure: Hooking up with problematic men. They oh-so-bad but oh-so-good in bed. Her own ex-boyfriend was a member of the Zhentarim, after all.

MORALS

Alignment: Neutral Evil - rather selfish in her actions, yet will help others who are similar her.

Sins: Theft. Lots of it. Jealousy, coveting what others may have knowing she could never have it. Will usually say whatever pops in her head without thinking it through first, which gets her in trouble. Can be very self-centered in different situations (ex. she refused to take poison from Nettie at the Grove after she didn’t help the party cure their tadpole)

Virtues: Loyal to those she loves, almost to a fault. When able to, very much a “steal from the rich to give to the poor” type. Believes honesty is the best policy (unless your life is at risk, then lying to save yourself is acceptable). Family is also very important to her, especially her father, and she tried to make sure he had well over a years worth of gold before going on the run.

THIS OR THAT

Introvert/Extrovert/Ambivert - Likes to be social but also enjoys time to herself. Tries to keep a healthy balance of both.

Organized/Disorganized - in some aspects of her life, at least. When it comes to her money, she’s very organized.

Close Minded/Open Minded - No defining reason. She just is.

Calm/Anxious/Restless - Being on the run for a crime she may (or may not) have committed, she is constantly looking over her shoulder to make sure she and her companions are safe (but mostly her).

Disagreeable/Agreeable - That is, if you see eye to eye with her.

Cautious/Reckless/In Between - After the loss of her brother, she was very reckless in her crimes and overall behavior, but she has calmed down a bit. She will still do risky things for the fun of it, though.

Patient/Impatient/In Between - Do not test her.

Outspoken/Reserved - Almost too outspoken for her own good.

Leader/Follower/Flexible - Because she’s very headstrong, she easily fell into the leader position of the party.

Empathetic/Unemphathetic - To those that are like her: who’ve struggled, who understand how hard life can be. Won’t listen to the sob story of some upper class elitist.

Optimistic/Pessimistic/Realist

Traditional/Modern/In Between

Hardworking/Lazy - But hardworking in the way that she’s taking from others… yeah I don’t like to think about the logistics of it too much.

RELATIONSHIPS

OTP: Don’t hate me. But. Saoirse is absolutely crushing on Aradin, despite how much of an ass he is. She thinks she can fix him. Maybe she can.

Other Ships: Hooks up with Rugan after rescuing him from the gnolls, which leads to an interesting throuple dynamic when they’re all in Baldur’s Gate.

BroTP: Surprisingly, she and Lae’zel get along swimmingly. Maybe it’s because they have similar personalities. She and Astarion also gossip about the drama between their camp companions, as well as tease each other over their romantic pursuits. Also apparently she and Shadowheart get along very well!

NoTP: Gale annoys her, but she also sees him as a powerful ally and a good companion. Thoroughly rejects any of his advances.

[theslay3d]

Leo Valdez x reader where she helps him figure out something he overlooked and he’s very happy and they just kiss or something?

Leo Valdez x Any camper!reader

Gender:Gender neutral

Warnings:some spoilers for the heroes of Olympus series especially the last book be warned

Word count:745

A/N this turned out more gender neutral sorry

Leo was frustrated. He has been working on a project for a few days now and it just wasn't working. Everytime he turned it on it just charged up, paused, then died. 

It was definitely frustrating him as every time he opens it up nothing seems to be wrong, all the wires are connected, nothings broken. He's been in bunker nine all day just trying to figure out what's wrong. 

He also missed you. You were his…best friend?. Leo couldn't figure a term out to describe your relationship other than complicated. You guys flirted with each other most of the time but were still close friends even if Leo was in love with you secretly. You see you went on the quest with Jason, Leo, and Piper and were friends with Leo and Piper before that in the school you guys went to. 

Anyway now with the whole Gaea thing over and Leo back from the dead it seemed pretty peaceful lately. Other than the Hermes cabin pranking everyone that was about it. 

Now you were on your way to bunker nine to bring Leo some food and some water as he's been in there all day. You made some sandwiches to bring and knocked on the door to bunker nine.(man i really need to reread these books i keep forgetting where it's at) Leo’s head snapped up at the sound and quickly yelled “Come in!”. 

You opened the door without dropping anything which was good and quickly found a table that had nothing on it and put everything in your hands on the table. You turned around to face Leo and saw he was already sucked back into the project he was working on. You sighed as you saw he looked so exhausted this project must be hard. 

“What's going on?” You asked as you walked closer to where Leo was. “I cant get this stupid thing to work” Leo said frustrated. You looked down to where the project was on the table. You were no Hephestus kid but you did know a little bit about the stuff Leo was working on. 

“Can you open it up?” You requested turning your head to look at Leo. Instead of replying he opened it and let you look at it while he tapped his fingers against the back of your hand, a habit he's had since he met you. 

You looked at the thing for a few more minutes before you unplugged two wires from where they were and connected them to each other. You closed it again and let Leo try it again. “It worked!!” Leo exclaimed happy that this project was finally working. 

You laughed at how happy he was. He turned his head towards you and grabbed your shoulders “Thank you Thank you Thank you” Leo said as he bounced up and down. You laughed a little more until Leo quickly leaned in and gave you a peck on the lips not even noticing it from his excitement. 

You stood there for a minute shocked that Leo kissed you. Leo didn't even notice as he turned back to the project smiling at it. “Uh Leo” 

“What?” Leo asked, turning his head back to you. His actions caught back up to his brain and quickly realized what he did. “O-oh gods i'm so sorry” Leo stuttered out.

Leo was panicking. Did he really just kiss you? The answer was yes of course now he was wishing he could quickly make a time machine before you even noticed which was impossible but maybe he could do it. Probably not though. 

You bit your lip a little in thought before you quickly grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards you. Leo's eyes widened before he quickly closed them and kissed you back. You broke apart after a few more seconds and licked your lips. Leo was still panicking. You could tell from his eyes they were darting around looking at everything but you. 

You laughed a little to yourself. “So fire boy do you like me back” You said quite boldly not really sure where the confidence came from. “Yeah mhm” Leo said very high pitched before he cleared his throat and said “Yes yes i do”. You laughed again and said “so are you gonna ask me to be your partner or what?” 

“I-I Will you u-uh be my partner?” Leo asked, still nervous yet excited that you liked him back. “Sure fire boy” 

[withbroombefore]

I was fully not planning on writing a sequel to Mirror, but these two are apparently my preferred way to process gender thoughts.

“I wasn’t like this, you know,” Wei Ying says. “Before.” Which before? Lan Zhan thinks. There are so many befores in Wei Ying’s life, all tangled and overlapping. When he asks, Wei Ying blinks at him and then laughs. “Oh! I meant the gender one. Though I suppose that it could also be the going away one. Or the lead-up to it. But I think it’s the first option.” “Mn,” Lan Zhan says. It is not that the distinction does not matter, but it is too complicated to comb through on a weeknight. Moreover, they are on the train, and just because their portion of the car is otherwise empty does not make it an appropriate place for delving so deep. “What were you unlike?” “Chill,” Wei Ying says. Whatever shows in Lan Zhan’s face makes ve laugh through an expression of mock offense. “Lan Zhan! That’s so rude. I’m so polite and reasonable now, comparatively.” “Wei Ying is good,” Lan Zhan allows, because that is a true statement even if it has no bearing whatsoever on the prior claim. He notes the predictable pinkness of vis cheeks with satisfaction. “Anyway,” Wei Ying carries on valiantly, turning vis gaze out the window even as ve leans vis shoulder more closely against Lan Zhan’s side, “I was thinking about it today after the meeting. I always feel like I can watch people being surprised, if they’re just now seeing me again, and it’s not just the gender stuff.” Lan Zhan glances towards the window too, then away before he has to notice that the reflection’s hair falls longer and darker than that of the person next to him. It is only the flicker of passing city lights that hides the red streaks Wei Ying added six months ago on a whim, forever marking a corner of Lan Zhan’s sink in the process. “It is natural that you have changed,” he points out. “You were very young when you left.” “That’s part of it, probably,” Wei Ying agrees. “Not all, though. It still took me more years than it should have to notice I wasn’t a man, and the—the quieting came after that.” Lan Zhan hums, interrogative. “That’s what I call it, in my head,” ve explains. “Never said it out loud before though. That’ll be you being such a perfect boyfriend.” “That is due to the bartending,” Lan Zhan says. “Being easy to talk to is a necessary skill.” It isn’t, really, so he is pleased when Wei Ying cackles at the joke. “Why do you call it that?” A few moments pass; he waits patiently as Wei Ying thinks. “That’s how it feels,” ve replies at last. “I was so loud before. In my head and with my mouth and everywhere, all the time. I think maybe I knew there was something in me that wanted to be heard, but I couldn’t…it wasn’t safe to listen yet. Because if I did then I couldn’t unhear it, you know?” Lan Zhan nods, finds vis hand, squeezes it. He does know. “Yeah,” Wei Ying says. “And if you think I have poor impulse control now, love, you have no idea. Closets and I were never going to mix. So I couldn’t let myself hear, and that meant I had to be so loud it wasn’t an option.”

[loquaciousquark]

domesticity meme!!! 13 & 37

37. what would they do if the other one was hurt?

Ohhhhhh heavens! Let me dig into the ...how many words do I have on AO3 right now? WHAAAAAAT LET ME DIG INTO MY APPARENTLY 1,184,730 WORDS when in the world did I break that million word marker!! Oh--probably with the backlog I posted from early FF.net days--though now that I think about that, that's probably not more than 80k words. Incredible!

Anyway. The answer is they fucking hover. Both of them, clingy as limpets. Hawke hovers and tells bad jokes; Fenris hovers and gets mad. They're both protective to a fault--and I mean that, it's really not healthy for either of them. Fortunately, they don't get hurt much, and when they do they mostly heal quickly. At least the way I hurt them, anyway. Mostly.

Part of the problem is Hawke's determination to prevent pain for all others by taking all of it herself. She's the richest, the most socially powerful, the one apostate beyond Meredith's reach; if anyone poorer or weaker or shabbier than her gets hurt in any way, that means she, personally, failed to protect them and balance out the pain scales. Is that healthy? No! Is that going to make anyone else happy to avoid that pain? No! Does that matter? No!

So in contrast, Fenris's "keep your head down, protect yourself first" attitude provides some of that necessary counterbalancing. Also, if Hawke getting hurt would cause Fenris pain, it's no longer a perfect preferable option, so she can't default to that as her first response anymore.

Is this healthy growth? Ehhh, close enough.

13. favorite sexual activity?

Under the cut, just in case!

Also, fair warning: going to discuss Danarius pretty frankly here. That said, I think they're both reasonably adventurous! Hawke only had one long-term partner in Lothering and a few stolen kisses during the Meeran year before Fenris shows up, so I don't think she's nearly as experienced as Fenris is. I think she'd enjoy anything that prolongs the experience of the intimacy (edging) or relies heavily on intimate trust (light bondage, blindfolding). She also unashamedly loves being the center of attention and is perfectly happy to entertain herself while Fenris watches.

She doesn't get a lot out of spanking/flogging and would not find giving up all of her control a pleasurable experience, not just because of her personality, but because as a mage losing control of herself is possibly her most fundamental horror. I don't think she could ever let go in a sexual context (especially to a non-mage who will never really understand that struggle) without breaking part of her mind in the process. She's also completely incapable of taking a roleplay scene seriously, though I'm sure she'd try if Fenris asked.

That said, anything that Fenris likes is very, very high on her list. She very seriously wants him to enjoy everything they do, preferably with very little pain involved, and I think in the early reunion days she's almost overly focused on him to the point it makes him uncomfortable. Still, she's got enough natural selfishness that doesn't last overly long, and they find a pleasant equilibrium soon enough.

Fenris is so much trickier. I have some extremely complicated headcanons about whether the things he likes are things that Danarius trained him to like vs. his own natural preference and his struggles to figure out if that matters over the years, and I definitely think that extends to his sexual preferences. I think at the start with Hawke he's deathly afraid of bringing in anything he ever did with Danarius (because if Danarius enjoyed it, what kind of monster would it make him if he has some of those fantasies too? If he gets pleasure out of the same act Danarius did, is that not poisoning Hawke in the same way Danarius poisoned him?).

And the thing is, I don't think the things that interest him are even necessarily that exotic! I think he likes being pegged so long as he can see Hawke the whole time; I think he likes very mild D/s (both sides); I think he likes giving oral. I think he knows he's incredibly good at it on both men and women (see again: my beliefs about how Danarius deployed his abilities), and I think he finds tremendously empowering pleasure in applying these skills in a way he has chosen for himself, on a person he cares about, rather than on some object of his master as part of a dispassionate political manipulation. I think Fenris also knows he is very, very good at this in general and likes having that honed skill recognized by his partner; that it's someone he loves and who loves him is a new bonus layer to the experience. I even think he'd be okay with light binding eventually, though neither of them is ever going to be interested in shibari or anything like that. Still, it takes a long time to get him to even begin opening up about some of this stuff, even with Hawke.

I do think he has a major praise kink, on that topic. But God, it has to be done such a specific way to ring true for me; for me, the idea of Hawke calling him any nicknames which infantilize him or force shame is just an instant hard stop brick wall. Any banter, nickname or otherwise, anything that implies shameful inexperience (or shameful EXperience), lack of control, extreme youth/naivete, or otherwise undermines his dignity and pride, is just--ugh, please no. (I read a fic once where he was called "baby boy" for most of it and I just couldn't get over how much it made my skin crawl. It may work for other Hawkes & Fenrises, but man, not for mine.) He's scraped his pride out of absolutely nothing and for many years it was literally the only thing of worth he had, and even in play I don't think Hawke could stand to see him humiliated. On that note, I think Danarius used to call him "my dear," and Hawke never calls him that as a result. Pretty much other pet name is on the docket, though.

Other than that, I think Fenris also just gets a kick out of sex where he gets to enjoy himself. His control is immaculate and I think he likes exploiting that against Hawke; I think knowing he's going to for sure have a good time at the end regardless makes him more interested in holding out as long as possible some nights.

I do think Hawke has a marginally higher sex drive than Fenris, but again, she's perfectly happy to take care of herself when Fenris is either out or not in the mood. Thankfully, he's also completely okay with this.

[freebooter4ever]

Hi! I really love your work— do you have any advice for someone who doesn’t have a lot of experience drawing human forms/anatomy? I dont really know where to start 😅

Thank you!!!! ^_^

So first off, bear with me, I'm going to point you to some of my old old art. In general, any 'progress'/tutorial type stuff i post goes into the "wip" tag: freebooter4ever.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/wip

The rest of this discussion is going under a cut lol

I've been drawing since i was a kid - as my grandma likes to tell it i would sit quietly at the card table next to her and make her draw with me because "everyone can draw, grandma". Sometime around high school i got it into my head that i needed a 'class' to understand anatomy, as if it was just this magical thing i would suddenly understand. (college was useless) The truth is i didnt start getting better until recently, when i gave up trying to 'learn' anatomy and just started studying bodies. That sounds weird, but i don't know how else to describe it? If someone told me ages ago that i could learn anatomy the same way i self-disciplined myself into being able to pull out computer science concepts at the drop of the hat, i feel like i wouldn't have wasted so much time but anyway...

Check out any doodles before my mchanzo era for drawings that i did prior to getting serious about practice studies: freebooter4ever.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/mchanzo. Terrible anatomy. Atrocious. (with one exception that i still like which is a poster on sasha bees' wall hey bees if you're reading this) 2016 ish.

THEN 2017 i lost my job, moved away from pittsburgh, missed my DJ friends, watched a documentary on netflix about st*ve aoki (after watching everything vaguely DJ related on the streaming service lol), and the aoki drawing era begins: freebooter4ever.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/steve%20aoki. I joke that the way I learned anatomy was by becoming obsessed with a DJ who contorts himself into very strange positions and has photographers that take photos of him from LITERALLY every angle and who tends to walk around half naked an unusually large amount of time but like...that's literally what happened. Not that im saying you have to start drawing half naked DJ's...just find a subject you dont mind drawing hours of studies from and it makes it a lot easier.

When I'm doing 'studies' I tend to do two separate drawings. Initially I literally just 'study' what I'm looking at - I put it in photoshop and trace the lines that I see. I don't OUTLINE it, there is a huge difference. A lot of times the lines that stand out are not the outlines but rather a dominant shadow or sharp edge. After I feel like I've got a good handle on it, I do another drawing of the pose freehand. Then I take the original photo and put it underneath that drawing and check where I've messed up. If I'm completely off I throw it away and start again, lol. If there's a few errors I fix them. More and more lately I find that the freehand drawing is fairly accurate with anatomy unless it's an unusual or challenging perspective. I break this down more in this post using joe as an example: https://freebooter4ever.tumblr.com/post/633653906052923392/its-been-a-while-since-ive-posted-one-of-these

Those study drawings rarely see the light of day. I just delete them when I'm done because i didn't have an...aim...? For the drawing. They just were to learn.

The doodles that I post on here? Some of the simpler ones are practice sketches from gifs - i will have a gif running next to my drawing and will try to draw what i see, freehand. Some of the more complicated drawings/portraits are from photos - but there's usually something i see in the photo that i want to convey? Like light? or a specific part of anatomy? I dunno, i make shit up as i go.

AND THEN there's my favorite, when i have done all this practice and i can do shit like drawing characters from my imagination. Like kenny hugging his cat. These don't have any reference - im just relying on my memory of anatomy i've drawn in the past.

I dunno. Dont let bad anatomy get you down, just keep trying. My anatomy hero - a sculptor ethan idolized and i idolize by default - even said himself that he doesn't feel like an 'expert', and he's in his 40's and has been doing this shit for decades. Just draw!!! The more you do it, the more you'll start to see what you like, and how you can make it how you like even more. I still think my anatomy is bad, im still embarrassed by it. But i also know i've gotten better because i can see it now.

ANYWAY this is long, im exhausted, i have to go to bed now :) and i was serious about scheduling an abs livestream. Maybe this weekend if im ambitious.

[ghoulfr13nd]

(about your ocs) OH HELL YES! your playlists are great and absolutely convey the right vibes if my guesses are any indication! :D i actually have questions about them though! when u make playlists for ur ocs do you put songs in a specific order? like for example, trying to tell a story with songs or dependent on genres or something else? and are those songs purely songs describing their chracters and their vibes or do these playlists also show music taste of these ocs? 👀

and i meant bipolar! i mainly said that because i myself have bpd and i just- yeah i felt these playlists fdgjsdf

you know, i actually didn't consider them being supernatural (pun not intended fsdjk)! for some reason i imagined them in like- crime thriller setting xd but i love that, angel and demon aesthetic is my jam! especially when it turns out it's not just simple "good guys (angels) vs bad guys (demons)" and things are actually more complicated! love the idea of an angel designated to kill in god's name but grappling with her morals it's chef's kiss also I KNEW THEY WERE GAY FOR EACH OTHER YESSSS I LOVE when someone gets ordered to kill the other but it turns into a complicated gay mess! :D it's like- one of my favorite tropes! hell yes! and then you add a troubled kid for them to take care of and that's an instant win for me! is Linsey also supernatural or nah? i love premise of this story!

also omg this art is beautiful! ves looks so cool her style is so in my type fgsdj (also i love the 3rd character they look so cute 🥺) and I would be interested in seeing more of their art! :O (but only if it'd be not too much trouble i wouldn't want to make you dig too much!)

are you kidding i love them all! i think especially Mac because she just seems like the type of character that i naturally gravitate towards lately fgsdjkf (and ah yes, "problematic characters", or as i like to call them: characters that aren't bland and have some actual flavor fsdgafj though i get the fear of showing them, people can get wild with the discorse and accusations 😭)

and aaaaa it's really ok! im doing well thank you! :D hope u doing good too! it was so much fun! ✨

music anon 🎶

LOVE LOVE LOVE THESE QUESTIONS, ANON I WAS SO GIDDY READING THIS ASK THE FIRST TIME THAT I LITERALLY NOT EVEN JOKING, CLAPPED MY HANDS TOGETHER AND SWUNG MY LEGS AROUND. I’ve been SO excited to answer you!

First off, let me say I am so flattered by your interest in my guys???? Like, these are my little dolls that I fling around in my skull sometimes, but barely make it out into the world. It makes me so happy to share them!

ANYWAY. down to business.

when u make playlists for ur ocs do you put songs in a specific order?

I DO NOT, these bad boys are made to be thrown on shuffle! especially Mac’s, because it’s important to me that you don’t know when the somber piano music is gonna hit!

are those songs purely songs describing their chracters and their vibes or do these playlists also show music taste of these ocs?

THEY ARE BOTH!! Mac likes club music, but her sense of time is sort of skewed, so she listens to a blend of pop from several eras. I do think she really likes Billie, she vibes with the edginess of that one album. She’s polished, though, and keeps her doubts buried underneath pretty clothes and lip gloss and several layers of self-importance. The somber songs represent moments where her true feelings rear their heads — they’re abrupt and painful and stop her in her tracks.

Ves, on the otherhand, is possessed by her doubts. Her songs are more of a reflection of this internal struggle to figure out what she wants, how she feels, who she is. My initial concept for her includes more of a club-vibe for what she listens to, too, but I really think she enjoys rock. However isn’t the type to sit around feeling sorry for herself. She prefers to suppress that, by finding trouble to get into. So songs like Two Beers In and the songs by girl in red are there to describe her.

Linsey is mostlyyyy narrative-driven stuff. I don’t know she cares much for music. But she’s got a thick accent and has spent more time with her granny than she has her parents, so her songs are more focused on that aspect of her, as well as her struggles as she learns how to be a kid. Linsey isn’t supernatural, but you’ve got me rethinking that a bit. I might change that.

Finn is the one without a playlist. He’s just trying to keep it together. His dad was a fisherman and he followed the family business, and pretty much only owns clothes that are good for being outdoors. Finn is also human, and his humanity is important to me, so he’ll probably stay that way. I don’t have much lore for him other than that though. 😔

Thank you for listening!! I don’t share them very often so it means a lot to me. I’ve dug up some old art (drawing isn’t my strong suit so please take them with a grain of salt). I’ll attach it in a reblog.

But what about you?? What are your OCs like? I would love to hear about yours!!

[roughneck-remedies]

Interlude I: Riptide

The cool sea breeze carried the wings of the Thornspeaker's owl shape over the spindly canopies of the pines. The familiar sights of home as those keen eyes took them in from above. Being in the air always made things clearer, not just physically, but problems too. Amilisa felt as though if she could flap her wings just a little harder, go just a little further, maybe she could soar above those issues plaguing her. But eventually she had to land, had to face reality. Those talons reached out to settle upon the hewn wood planks to perch above the Roughneck Camp.

A familiar, deep voice bellowed out from below, "Were wonderin' when ye'd show back up!"

Amilisa's owl form melted away, feathers fading and replaced for leathers over her human visage. "Ye're always wonderin' when I'll show back up, da'!" She called back down, bounding the steps with ease as she ran over to embrace her father.

Deveral was a large man, not easily moved by even the mightiest predator but somehow his daughter always managed to find the right angle to send him on his backfoot. The man laughed as his arms wrapped around his girl and squeezed, "It's good ta see ya, love."

Amilisa buried her face into the chest of the man, returning the squeeze with one of her own. She was silent for a long moment before a trembling voice broke it, "Can... we go inside a moment? Talk?"

Deveral's hand gently rubbed at his daughter's back, looking down at her with some concern. He nodded, "Aye, Lisa, always 've time fer ya. Ya know tha'. C'mon." Two pats to her back with a jerk of his head towards the small building that served many purposes.

The two Kul Tirans settled into the seats near the fireplace. A long moment passed as Amilisa watched the flames. The heavy voice asked the question she had been dreading, "Wot's eatin' ya, love?"

Amilisa could not fight back the tide that had built behind her eyes, the dam broke as she sobbed. "I didnae want any o' this, yknow?! I didnae ask ta be a damned worgen! Or a Thornspeaker... or for ma' ta jus' show back up an'... an'..." Her eyes cast sharply to her father, "Why did ye let 'er...?"

The man rubbed at his left palm in his lap, eyes fixated on the task while he thought. "Ami..." he said slowly, still not confident in the words he had but there was no more time to think, "...I ne'er wanted ya ta bear tha' curse. Yer ma's a.... was... a complicated woman. There was no tamin' her. Ye didn' deserve ta be caught up in the crossfire of us but... ye were. We don' always get ta choose how our lives turn out."

Amilisa shook her head, hand swiping under her nose with a sniffle, "I jus' wanted a normal life. Here... an' I went an' tried ta have one out there!" She pointed towards the door, as if Stormwind were right on the other side. "But all I've done's hurt people n' meself..."

"Wot happened?"

"Nothin' like tha'... nae really 'least... I jus'--" She rolled her eyes upwards, pursing her lips, as she looked over the interior, "I rushed inta things. With girls... an'... I dunno. It's nae like all wot ye said with mum, yknow? I donnae... I donnae feel tha'. Well..." Amilisa trailed off.

"Well? Spit it out, 'en."

"Nae, it-- it's nothin'... Did ya really know? Right away? With mum? Knowin' wot ye knew, how hard it'd be... the consequences?" She brought her gaze back to her dad, shaky and uncertain.

Deveral sighed as he looked to the fire, thumb still idly pressing into his other palm. "Amilisa, I know wot she did ta ya were wrong. I'm nae defendin' 'er, right? But I loved tha' woman ta this day, aye? It were because she were wild, like the forests an' nature all 'er glory. She made poor choices but... she also made great ones like ye. So aye, I knew, knowin' everythin' I know now I would do it again. Especially because I got ye from all of it, an' I don' love anyone or thing more."

Tears streamed down her cheeks, burying her face into her hands. "Why... why cannae I jus' love 'em an' this be easy? Why is everyhin' always so difficult?!"

Deveral stood to move over next to his daughter, kneeling to wrap his arms around her, "Love ne'er is, my girl. It ainnae some cure, no' some thing ta magically wisp ya away from all yer problems. Ye can' fake er force it. Ye have ta be honest no matter wot it costs, ya hear?"

Amilisa melted into her father, so tired from being strong for herself. She nodded slowly to respond to him, she did hear him. It was just a matter of following through with his advice...

[bard-llama]

Can I just thank you for writing some Ciaran x Ves? I feel like I was the only one who thought that ship possible. XD

Absolutely! I actually have a lot of feelings about Ciaran and Ves as equals and opposites, but in a wholly different way than Iorveth and Roche. Like, okay, for both elves, loving a human (especially this human) is kinda awkward and needs to be worked through. But for Roche - hating elves is his job, not his passion. Like, that doesn’t mean he’s not racist, because you absorb unconscious racist behavior and assumptions just by existing in a racist society. BUT to him, he thinks he’s not racist.

Ves, on the other hand. Ves is kinda a proud racist. She’s got a LOT to work through. Because to her, the hatred is very personal and is a direct line back to the abuse she suffered at the hands of the Scoia’tael. But not just that - she has a line that in the small village she lived in, all they cared about were 2 things: if the crops were good and if the Scoia’tael would move into the forest. And when they DID, they wiped out her village AND kept her as a “trophy”, so to speak. Growing up with that kind of fear and then having that fear seemingly justified? That’s enough to fuck someone up bad. 

So then Ves is rescued and (in my stories), Roche lets her kill her captor/abuser/rapist. Which is good for short-term catharsis and it can be good for your brain to logically know that they’ll never come back and hurt you again. BUT just because your brain knows it doesn’t mean YOU do. PLUS, she then went on to join the military in a heavily racist society and then is specifically assigned to hunt nonhumans/Scoia’tael. As in, the very same creatures from her nightmares. To her, they aren’t people. They’re all monsters, because that’s how her mind has protected itself. Elf = Scoia’tael = Monster = Let’s kill it. 

So for her to finally work through all that - well, 1) this girl could use some serious therapy. I mean, they all could, but yeah. 2) She has to get to a point where she realizes not only that her assumptions are WRONG, but that they need to be changed. Because one doesn’t always follow the other and cognitive dissonance is a helluva thing. So she has to get to a point (most likely through external factors, lbr) where she’s no longer able to just murder any elf she wants. AND she has to see that as an acceptable state of being, one that she abides by willingly. As you can imagine, that’s a bit of a tall order for her, ESPECIALLY if she’s never examined her biases before. Which she probably hasn’t, because it HURTS to do that, especially when the biases are tied up with some serious trauma. 

Okay, apparently I have a lot of thoughts on Ves. BUT this ask was about Ciaran/Ves, SO let’s talk about how that can happen (and btw, it’s happening in, at minimum, 2 of my ‘verses). So, say Ves develops enough that she’s even able to THINK a nice thought about an elf and not immediately rebel. How does she get together with Ciaran?

Tbh idk yet. BUT I think a lot of it depends on where Ciaran is in the universe. In something like the petals and stripes or king and country, Ciaran’s view of humans is much more favourable than, say, Don’t Cry for Me, Temeria, where he’s taking a very anti-human stance (though that will eventually adjust). Which is all to say - first he has to realize he has feelings for a human. THAT human. Then he has to ACCEPT it. In a universe where Iorveth and Roche are already together, I think Iorveth could be a big support in helping him come to accept that. Also, I really, really want some elves bitching about their weird-ass humans. But anyway, Ciaran has to come to accept his feelings. That’s the personal development. THEN they somehow gotta figure out relationship development TOGETHER. Which means communication instead of stabbing lmao. Ves struggles with this even more than Ciaran does. But they’ll get there eventually. I think their “courtship” so to speak would be VERY bumpy and rough, but I think once they get together and like, actually function as a pair? Bro, they could rule the fucking world, lbr. They wouldn’t WANT to, but they could. But yeah, I see it becoming kind of... a stable touchstone that Ves or Ciaran can lean on as they work to adjust to the world around them, which is ALSO working to be less racist in... pretty much every universe, tbh, though it looks different in each one. What can I say, I’m a sucker for societal growth and improvement.

[linasofia]

Never Together

Part 1 l Part 2

Armitage Summer Splash #6

Trope: Friends with benefits

Quote: “You’ve got to get over this.”

Relationship: John Porter (Strike Back) x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Allusions to sex

Thanks @legolasbadass for your help. 💙

”I can see you’re hurting.” Kate, my best friend, has a worried look in her big green eyes when she places her hand over mine. We are having a coffee at our usual table at the Grand Comptoir, a local café with a strong connection to its French big sister. ”Is he gone again?”

I sigh and nod. John left two days ago and just like last time I miss him more than I want to admit to myself. I try to persuade myself that my feelings have more to do with the fact that I’m worried for his safety when he is away and less with me missing having him in my bed all night.

”How long will he be gone this time?”

”I don’t know. As long as he needs to, I guess.”

I give her a smile and try to sound less bothered. The truth is that this is the very core of my problem. I never know how long he will be gone, where in the world he is, or what dangers await him there. He has told me only part of what he does for a living but I,ve gathered enough information over time to fill in the blanks by myself. Being a British Special Forces Operative is not exactly considered a desk job and John travels all over the world to execute operations rarely covered by the media.

Kate is my oldest and closest friend. We grew up together, learned to ride on the same horses, fell in love with members of the same boy band, graduated and finally moved to the same larger city. It was not until after we left university, that we stopped seeing each other every day. Nowadays we meet for at least coffee once a week. There are not many things we keep from each other and she reads me better than anyone else. We have seen the good and the bad times, laughed through the intense periods filled with euphoric feelings that always come with a new lover, and then later, we have both been the shoulder to cry on when the love fades to grey.

So when Kate gives me that special look, I know I cannot fool her. She says my name like it's a soft caress and my heart aches.

”Are you still only friends?”

”Yes. I know he doesn’t want anything else. We’re just having fun and enjoying each other.”

”And are you? Enjoying it?

”Yes, of course!”

”But it’s not really what you want, is it?”

”It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t want anything serious and I accept that.”

”So you once again let him leave you without telling him how you feel?” Kate’s voice is filled with questions that I know I can’t answer. I don’t know why I accept it. Maybe it is because I still carry a small flickering light of hope in my heart. Because having him as a friend who warms my bed when he is home is better than not having him at all.

”Yes,” I sigh.

”You’re not happy like this. You must see that. We have talked about this so many times. Tell him or let him go, so you can move on. You’ve got to get over this. It’s not healthy for you.”

Tears form in my eyes when I meet her gaze. I know deep inside that she is right but my heart refuses to listen to my logical brain. Maybe John will never be ready for something more. I know about his ex wife’s death and that it left a big hole in his heart even if their relationship was complicated to say the least. And his adult daughter is a fragile soul, who for long periods of time still refuses to speak to him. Maybe he is too afraid to let anyone close again.

Still, I welcome him to my bed every time he comes back home. As soon as his messages reach my phone my body seems to bloom, like a spring flower ready to meet the sun again. Over and over again, the same pattern repeats itself. There is no way I can resist him. Every time he looks at me with his azure eyes I fall helplessly and my treacherous body betrays me as soon as he pulls one of all his well-fitting t-shirts over his head. At least the life he chooses to live gives him the body to match the heroic bravery he possesses.

His mind is another story. It didn’t take many nights sleeping together before I understood that he suffers during the late hours. The name Steve haunts him but he refuses to talk to me about it. From his nightmares I can understand that Steve is no longer alive but I have no idea who he was. He must have meant a great deal to John and I wish he would let me be there for him when the memories crash down on him.

Kate coughs discreetly. I have lost myself in my thoughts again and she smiles warmly at me.

”You know I love you like a sister. I want you to be happy.”

”I know,” is all I can say. I know far too well what she is going to say next. But I am not ready to act on it. Not yet. I tell her so, with a tremble in my voice, trying to make her understand. She holds my hand and listens, like she always does. The pattern repeats itself. And I will continue to treasure the last text John sent me before he left for another unknown destination: I can’t wait to see you again.

Did you like it? Please like, comment or/and reblog! ❤️

Taglist and others who might be interested: @lathalea @legolasbadass @fizzyxcustard @middleearthpixie @i-did-not-mean-to @laurfilijames @enchantzz @bitter-sweet-farmgirl @xxbyimm @kibleedibleedoo @mariannetora @s0ftd3m0n @haly-reads @sunnysidesidra

Let me know if you want to be added or removed.

[annaofthenorthernlights]

All you need is love... actually

Fanfiction Frozen modern AU, Disney crossover (my first go)

Pairing: Kristoff/Anna (main), Sven/Honeymaren, Mathias/Halima, Ryder/Merida

Rated M (for some nudity)

I owe nothing but my headcanon - which is loosely based on the Christmas movie "Love actually"...

Hope you have fun!

Find the fic on AO3

Chapter 15 / 28

Twisted

Note: Don't mind my weird mind...

------

„I know this is a bit tricky, but I´d really appreciate if we could try that out.”

The young people stared at David while he explained the next task, after all it was just their job...

“I am supposed to do what?” Kristoff glared confused and Anna put a reassuring hand to his wrist.

“Seriously, you must say so if this is out of question to you!”

He looked at her with a clearly heated face… “but, what about you?”

But Anna shrugged her shoulders and twisted her face into a shrewd grin.

“Alright folks let´s get ready.”

David did not wait to listen to any further questions. The request was clear, it was their job, and nobody cared the slightest if they felt stupid about it…

“It´s not about me, Anna, I can hold you like that, but it´s you I am concerned about. You´ll be upside down, and that´s not healthy.”

Anna giggled and bit her lips.

“If that´s your only worry, I can reassure you that I am fully capable of doing that. I´ve been in gymnastic class long enough to hang like a bat from the ceiling. That´s my least worry…” Then she leaned closer and whispered with questioning eyes.

“Don´t you mind I get so close to you…. I mean…. You know. Up until now we were at least several inches off.”

Kristoff noticed everybody waiting for them, so he motioned Anna to get ready for his grab and while he lifted her up onto his hips, he shrugged and grimaced, “you don´t bite, do you?”

“No, silly!” she giggled now, let go of his arms and then Kristoff flipped her upside down.

Okay, this was awkward… but she felt so safe with those big strong arms holding her firmly and she admittingly admired clinging to those bold thigh muscles and engulfing her fingers around those quadriceps… oh, oh… she could feel his breath on her buttocks… that was nerve racking because it was just so... new territory… Okay, she better kept her eyes closed and her head still, she was too close to his… oh my word… what if she hit him… what if he also felt her breath on him…..?

“You´ve got a birth mark!” Kristoff called out softly with a warm and soft chuckle.

“I have what?” Anna exclaimed shocked, turned her head, and tried to make out her surroundings when her hair fell all over her face.

“Hush, I tell you later.”

“Come, on, this is not a circus number. Kristoff! You just remain that way. Oh, and Anna, could you bob your head only a little. No, it won´t do, your hair is in the way. Samantha! Give the girl a hand and wrap her hair together, we need to see some face skin. Kristoff, you okay there?”

“Yeah, don´t mind me. Hey Anna, you´re okay down there?”

Samantha had started wrapping Anna´s hair into a pony and was about to pin it into a hasty bun when Anna burst into a fit of laughter. How ludicrous was that moment and she couldn´t help wondering what Elsa would say if she´d see her like that? She could not stop; her body shook with her attempt to suppress her outburst and Kristoff got troubled keeping a hold of her when she almost slipped through his hands. To prevent her from falling on her head, he reached to get a firmer hold, pulled her up at her waist which caused her body to jolt more upward and startled by the sudden clasp, Anna contracted her legs into a firmer position around his neck and nearly strangled the poor man.

“Anna, let go, I can´t breathe!”

“Oopsie, sorry! You must loosen your grip as well, otherwise you have me suffocate, too!” She giggled hysterically, and Kristoff groaned upon the quest of holding the laugh stricken girl.

“Alright, what´s that fuss? I see, it´s too complicated, but we´re almost done. Patrick, you got the angular right? Numbers saved? What? Another go? Okay, short break! But we need you guys again like this.”

Kristoff didn´t know how to lower Anna, so he simply flipped her around back up again and Anna squeaked caught off guard by the sudden twisting jolt. Kristoff put her down on her feet and then noticed her red face. Was it red because of the blood rush, or because this had been more than weird….?

“Are you alright? You´re all flushed.” He asked genuinely concerned.

“Oh, yes. But you look rather heated, too. Sorry, about the squeeze though, I was so startled.”

He shrugged apologetically in return.

Samantha came around with their robes and asked if they´d like anything for the break. She was such a sweetheart and taking care so lovingly. They both liked her very much.

“What was that about a birth mark?” Anna whispered intrigued, narrowing her eyebrows, and crooking her head.

Kristoff cleared his throat, his eyes flickering and blinking obviously abashed with that tricky memory. He pressed his lips together and shrugged contritely once more.

“Well… yes… there is… uhm… a little… you know…. birth mark…”

“Where???”

“Uhm… there….” And he nodded towards her lower body parts.

“Come on, be a bit specific. You had me upside down and full view on my rear.” Anna slammed her hands into her hips.

“Uhm…” he scratched the back of his neck, “yeah, there. Like, you know, sticking out from between your… “

“Buttocks?!” Anna exclaimed a bit too loud, and this made some turn their heads to them.

“Uhm… yes.” Kristoff grimaced ruefully, and Anna blushed, her eyes widened, and she quickly turned to grab the mug of coffee that Sam was just bringing around for them.

“That´s so embarrassing. I didn´t know that…”

“Oh, don´t worry…. It looks rather cute though, you know.” Kristoff chuckled nervously and nipped at his coffee, too.

“So, you inspected pretty nicely despite that little time?” Anna now grinned and pursed her lips. “Any other discovery?”

Now it was on Kristoff to turn fiery red.

“NO!”

Anna woke with a start and abruptly jerked upright in her bed…

******

Goodness… what was that? Oh… only a dream… oh, shit, but what a twisted one…

She crawled out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom to relieve herself. She yawned and rubbed her face with two palms. This had felt so real, troublingly real, and now she felt confused. If only they will never be asked to do such a scene…

And then… a tricky question was buzzing around in her head, and when she got up, Anna switched on the bright light and squirmed her eyes shut for a moment. But she needed to know, and therefore rummaged through the counter drawers in search for the little cosmetic mirror.

She swung one foot onto the counter and held the handy mirror between her thighs but could not find any evidence of a birth mark. She twisted and turned the mirror to get a view from different angles, but could not detect anything of the sort.

Anna could not really tell why it would bother her, but for some reason she felt slightly disappointed. She shook her head, switched off the light and with a sigh went back to bed.

It was no big deal, really… it was simply silly… and most of all, never ever must she tell Kristoff about that obscene dream….

_____________________

The next day, Anna woke late and hurried out of the house, leaving behind a baffled Elsa, when she grabbed her pretzel to gulp it down on her way to work.

She made it just in time and ran upstairs the winding stairs in the mansion and turning the corner when Kristoff came out of the chambers to look for her.

Completely out of breath, Anna stood on the landing, bracing the banister to catch some air and waved a dismissive hand when her companion bent down with a grin to inquire after her wellbeing. It was not the first time that Anna was tight in time, but she looked so cute when trying to appear all fit but then could hardly speak.

His grin disappeared rapidly when Anna straightened, put a hand to his arm and glared at him with big eyes.

“You would not believe what I dreamed last night!”

They were about to get ready, had been instructed on the first shooting session and Anna laid ready on the bed while Kristoff adjusted his kneeling position before her until David was content, and Patrick gave the clear that this was the right angle to start.

******

“Okay then, let´s start everybody!” David called out and the bustling began.

Anna swung up her legs and Kristoff placed her ankles on his shoulder, crooking his head and bending slightly closer to her, finally able to be going back to chatting casually during their pretended moves.

He was too curious, and after all, she had started it by intrusting him this bizarre scenario…

“So, do you?” he whispered with an amused smirk.

Anna tilted her head, “what?”

“Have a birth mark?”

[pedropascalunofficial]

Pedro Pascal and Lena Headey

Head to head interview

Hunger Magazine, Issue 6. Released December 28, 2014. Photoshoot October 15, 2013.

Thirteen million. That's the number of people, on average, who tuned into each episode of the third season of Game of Thrones. Among them was Chilean actor Pedro Pascal, who was as enthralled by the sex and slaughter as the rest of us. But little did he know that within a few months he'd be pitching up on the shores of Belfast to join the cast as Oberyn Martell, affectionately known as the Red Viper. Sound ominous? It is. The Red Viper is GoTs newest anti-hero, “sexy and charming but driven by hate”. Sounds like he'll be right at home.

Pedro, on the other hand, though he looks good on paper, wasn't the obvious choice for the role. Expecting a big name to ride into King’s Landing, the show's fans took to forums to express their concerns as soon as the news broke. So is he worried? Like hell he is. “The fans had the part cast in their minds already. They knew who they wanted and it certainly was not me. But I'm not stupid, | presumed that people were going to say ‘who the fuck is this guy’. Since I anticipated the reaction it didn't throw me off.”

“There are so many different ways to go into battle with yourself when you're trying to get a job. I felt a certain amount of pressure because I wanted to make everyone happy. The fan base is so specific and, as a fan myself, I understand the relationship that they have with the show. The Red Viper is the best part I've ever played, and in season four shocks come at the most unexpected times. You might think you know, but you have no idea,” he explains.

Looks like the Red Viper could be in line to fill a Walter-White-sized-hole in television, but to test the theory we pit Pascal against Lena Headey, aka the Queen. Because if you can come away from Cersei unscathed, you can handle anything.

LH: So, Pedro, you come into Game of Thrones in season four, playing a pretty major character. Does that fill you with joy or dread?

PP: I'd say it fills me with joy because it’s a really fucking fun part. He’s a badass. He comes up against a lot of the main characters in the show. I'm very aware of the show. I watch it like a fan.

LH: Were you a fan before you arrived in Belfast?

PP: Yeah, I was a proper fan. I was caught up in the drama of it before I even auditioned for the part. I was already up to speed.

LH: I remember meeting you and thinking, “he fucking loves the show’.

PP: I kissed your ass.

LH: Well, it worked. We're friends now.

PP: I was like a tourist visiting the set, and yet I had to act with you and be in a scene with the characters that I had such a specific association with already.

LH: So you’re saying it’s boring?

PP: No, it wasn’t boring at all. It was extremely, relentlessly surreal.

LH: And who were your favourite characters up until that point?

PP: Not you.

LH: I realise that!

PP: There are too many characters to have a favourite, but I was fascinated by the Lannisters because they're so frightening. They scared me and then you would come in and pull sympathy from your audience somehow, and I found that rather fascinating. The Northerners were so easy to like or get behind, but it was quite something to see people sympathise with a Lannister, after you made people see things from their perspective.

LH: Speaking of being slightly ambiguous as a character, you come in as a major player and a very well-loved character in the eyes of people who read the books, and he’s somewhat of an anti-hero. Did you base him on anyone?

PP: What does an anti-hero mean exactly?

LH: It means he doesn't wear deodorant, doesn't it? [Laughs]. Someone you shouldn't champion, but you do, like Walter White in Breaking Bad.

PP: No, | didn’t really base him on anyone.

LH: Did you take anything from classic movies that you thought you could use and spin to your advantage playing the Red Viper?

PP: God, that’s a good question. I probably did subconsciously. Now I feel under the spotlight because I need to think of somebody, and I have so many in my mind! I think that’s something that is happening a lot in TV today: the anti-heroes are central to these television shows, and people are really getting behind them, even though they're not necessarily the most moral characters. So I'd say that ‘ve become more familiar with the character who's obviously very flawed but gets you on their side — you have complicated feelings about them. But I think I saw the story too much from this character's perspective to perceive any flaws.

LH: He has some.

PP: I know, from the outside. But I don't see any of them. What are his flaws?

LH: His flaws? He's a dirty bastard!

PP: Why is he a dirty bastard? He likes to fucking fight, for sure.

LH: Back to you as an actor. You've done it for a long time and, as we all know, the path is not always golden, and sometimes you think, “fuck it” and you want to leave it and do something else. Have there been moments where you wanted to give up?

PP: Yes, there have been moments where I came very close to giving up. But I never had anything to fall back on. I think you can understand that.

LH: Because were stupid?

PP: We're stupid.

LH: I can't even make pizza!

PP: We don’t have any other skills.

LH: None at all!

PP: And that’s the odd conundrum. You get to a point where you think, “This isn’t going to happen. This isn’t sustainable. I'm too exhausted, and it can't be good for me.” There were moments where I truly did try to formulate an idea of what I'd do. I thought I'd go back to school, start pre-med again and go to medical school or something like that.

LH: But that didn't happen, you just thought about it?

PP: Yes, I'd have thoughts, but it was still fantasy really. But at the time it felt like a practical life plan. Do you know what I mean?

LH: Yeah of course, you need to pay the fucking rent.

PP: Exactly. You just try to escape from the chaos of what you're feeling by trying to create order in your life. Order seems like a solution to save you from the pain of acting!

LH: It's a mental pain. Who was the first person you called when you got the role?

PP: My sister.

LH: Does she watch the show?

PP: Yes, she does.

LH: Pedro Pascal... or Pablo as I called you when I had too much wine, which was deeply insulting.

PP: Even family members have done that to me! Do I look more like a Pablo? Because it happens with about ninety-five percent of the people I meet.

LH: No, I think I’m just an ignorant drunk person.

PP: No, you were an ignorant drunk person that night is what you're saying.

LH: And now I’m educated.

PP: [Whispers] But | want you to call me Pablo.

LH: Ok, Pablo! When you first arrived on set in Northern Ireland, what was your feeling showing up to a bunch of British actors? Did it feel different to doing an American project?

PP: Yes, but I loved it. It wasn’t intimidating. I found it surreal because I’d watched and loved the show. I hadn't had the opportunity to work on something that I was really familiar with before, so it was overwhelming. But it was far more delightful than intimidating. Also you guys were really cool. Everyone was friendly.

LH: Oh, that’s just fake.

PP: Well, you guys were good at it!

LH: We know Game of Thrones is very popular obviously. Do you have any thoughts, or fears, about what this is going to bring you in terms of exposure?

PP: I have hope.

LH: Oh, God. I don’t mean to shatter that, but give it up.

PP: I don’t know really. It’s all been filmed, and now I'm back to my normal routine, so I haven't really thought about it. I remember when we finished filming and we were on our way to the airport, you asked me, “How does it feel you're all done?” and I couldn't really answer.

LH: You were quite emotional that day.

PP: I was very emotional because I’d had such an amazing time doing the part. Also just being there immersed in the experience... You described it to me best. You told me how I'd be feeling.

LH: We don't know your character's backstory when you enter the show, and you have some rather brutal scenes. Anyone who has read the books will know what I’m talking about.

PP: My character comes in, he stirs a bunch of shit up, and then he makes this fucking enormous exit. Now can | ask you a question?

LH: What is it? I’m not going to sleep with you. Give it up.

PP: Oh, come on! This has gone to shit and it’s your fault, so good luck to whoever has to edit it! But anyway, sometimes I'd hang out with the cast members and we'd go to dinner and they would get stopped constantly. There was no denying who they played because they were so recognisable, but you got away with it because you have this beautiful blonde wig on in the show, and in real life you are...

LH: Grey?

PP: {Laughs] No! You have beautiful chestnut hair! Is it liberating to not be recognised the way some of the other cast members are?

LH: Yes, it is liberating.

PP: Liberating being able to walk down an alley in Dubrovnik without being stopped?

LH: Yes, except sometimes | get recognised in the weirdest places. A woman was emptying my bag at Heathrow Airport's security gates and just went, “Are you the Queen?” while rummaging through my underwear. It was so fucking weird.

PP: It seems they're more respectful to you?

LH: Because they're frightened. Wait until they meet the Viper.

PP: Well, that covers it.

LH: I think we're going to get our own show out of this, you know

Interested in learning more about Pedro? Check out Pedro Pascal Unofficial on Pinterest!

[novelconcepts]

Looking forward to whatever you`ve been writing on! I always wondered what Judy`s reaction would have been in `on the hunt (for who I’ve not yet become)` when they eventually told her. Like how did that go down. Or something to do with their story after the fic finished idk I just really loved that story.

“I can’t do this.”

Dani glances over her shoulder, frowning. They had been, until this moment, walking in more or less perfect tandem--Dani trying to whittle down her usual stride, Jamie moving at twice her natural clip--a steady flow of forward until just now. Now, with Jamie pulling up fast, her hand in Dani’s performing a sort of rubber-band-snap trick to keep them both on the pavement.

“What do you mean, you can’t do this?”

“This.” Jamie, grim-faced, gestures down the block. The house is still just out of sight, the car parked a truly ridiculous distance away. Jamie’s idea; If she sees us, she’d muttered, we won’t get a moment’s peace to figure it all out. 

“We have to tell her sometime,” Dani points out. “I mean--we do, don’t we?”

“Yes. No. Doesn’t have to be now, does it? Why don’t we just--just wait until we’re sending out wedding invitations. Or invitations to my funeral. Or never.”

Dani, despite herself, grins. It’s not that Jamie doesn’t get nervous--it’s just that Jamie doesn’t tend to show it. Not like she does, all sharp intake of breath and tight-clenched fists. Jamie’s nerves are quiet, smoothed over, tucked into the motion of hands which are never left idle. Jamie’s nerves are an unexpected kiss, a fumble of motion, the constant urge to put those feelings somewhere productive.

Now, she’s standing stock-still on this too-familiar street, one hand loose in Dani’s. Stock-still, looking for the first time in years like the child who had gazed balefully around a foreign living room. 

“Christ, she’s gonna fuckin’ disown me.”

She looks like she believes it, the only thing that keeps Dani from laughing outright at the idea. She believes it, and there’s a small, simple hurt on her face at the idea--her jaw held tight, her shoulders hunched. Dani presses a hand to her cheek, leaning in until their foreheads meet. 

“She won’t. You know she won’t. You’re her kid.”

“He’s her kid,” Jamie corrects, breath skidding across Dani’s lips in a way that--even at this inopportune moment--makes her pulse race. They’ve been building this beautiful thing together for a few months, and the heat of it never quite seems to fade. “I’m just the baggage.”

“Stop.” Dani kisses her once, softly. “Stop doing that. No falling back on bad habits, Jamie. She’ll be happy for us.”

She says it, and she means it, as if there isn’t a tiny spark of absolute terror kindled in her own heart at the idea of telling Judy O’Mara the truth. That Dani has not moved all the way to Vermont to share Jamie’s little apartment out of friendly camaraderie. That Dani has spent the last few months shaping a life around not only school and new friends, as she’s told Judy over the phone, but around learning just how well she and Jamie fit together. 

They do. They fit so well. Jamie’s bed--their bed--has become the kind of safe haven she hadn’t known she could find anywhere. Jamie’s fingers toying with the braid of a worn old bracelet is like coming home. 

“Come on.” She squeezes Jamie’s hand, kisses her again, lets the warmth of Jamie’s body steer her toward courage. “Like a band-aid, Jamie. Just rip it off.”

“Better idea,” Jamie says, though her legs are moving reluctantly forward again. “We go back to the hotel, I rip other things off instead, we forget this whole stupid idea.”

Tempting. “After. Come on, you haven’t seen her in how long?”

Jamie doesn’t answer. Hand in hand, they walk, and with every house they pass, a few more years seem to cycle back. They are twenty-three, newly bound, and they are seventeen, unaware of one another, and they are twelve, camped out under too-few stars. 

They are on the front step, Jamie’s hand falling away, tucking restlessly into the pocket of her jacket like she’s terrified to be seen gripping Dani’s. Dani presses the tips of her fingers lightly to Jamie’s back for a moment. 

“Deep breath. She loves you.”

“Gonna fuckin’ find out,” Jamie mutters. 

The door swinging open feels like a portal to the past, Judy O’Mara’s small frame somehow seeming as expansive as it had when Dani had been eight years old. Her face wears a few more lines these days, but wears them well--the pride of a woman who has loved hard, raised good kids, made a place for herself in the world that feels warm and right. Her eyes are wide, her mouth falling open in a delighted grin, even as Dani raises a hand in a small wave.

“Surprise?”

“You didn’t tell me you were coming to town!” She pushes through the storm door, hugging them both in a single sweeping motion that nearly knocks Jamie off the porch. “Oh my god, you should have called, I’d have made a feast!”

“It’s eleven in the morning,” Jamie mumbles, but Dani can see her smiling. The Judy O’Mara of her anxious mind can’t withstand, even for a second, the truth of the woman. 

“A feast for lunch, then,” Judy says without missing a beat. She leans back, takes Jamie by the chin, turns her head gently from side to side as though looking for new scars. “You look good. Healthy. You finally learn to cook?”

“She did,” Jamie replies, tilting her head toward Dani. “Sort of.”

“I make an excellent roasted salmon,” Dani proclaims, “and...very little else.”

“Well, come in! Come in, tell me--I mean, you have to tell me everything, right? Oh, I wish I’d known, I would have moved some things around, told Mike the game could wait.”

“Game?” Jamie seems frozen on the porch, her face unreadable. Judy is moving deeper into the living room, her back to them, and Dani takes the opportunity to slip an arm around Jamie’s waist to guide her over the threshold. 

“Baseball. You know how the boys are.”

Never interested in baseball, Dani thinks wryly, remembering all the times Eddie had complained that nothing ever happened in a sport that slow. 

“They won’t be back until tomorrow, they drove all the way to Indiana for the thing. Silly,” Judy is saying. “Come on, into the kitchen, I can at least get you girls something to drink.”

“That’s, uh. That’s all right, actually,” Dani says, following the familiar path back to the big kitchen table. It feels a little less expansive now, a little more worn; the wood is pocked in places, scuffed and weathered by decades of plate and fork and cups laid down without coaster. “We really just came to see you.”

“Oh, that’s sweet to say.” Judy makes a flapping gesture without looking, busy at the kettle. Jamie, grimacing, sinks slowly down in her old seat as if pulled by magnetic force. “But I know how much you must miss Edmund. Even after it all...you know. He still loves you so much, Danielle.”

"I’ll bet,” Jamie says in a low voice. Dani kicks her very gently under the table, amused when Jamie arches a brow that says oh, there will be consequences for that later. 

Can’t wait, she thinks with a dizzy, rather inappropriate burst of desire, her hand creeping over to rest on Jamie’s knee. There’s a stabilizing sensation to the act, reminding her in no uncertain terms: this is who she is now. This, not Eddie’s long-lost girl, but someone lucky enough to be so in love with Jamie, it sometimes puts an ache into her chest. 

“Not to say you should be getting back together,” Judy says, running steel straight up Dani’s spine. 

“You--you aren’t?”

“Oh, Danielle, it’s been such a long time. I’d be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed, you know, when it happened--but I always thought, in the back of my mind, how many childhood sweethearts really work out? You grow up. You grow apart. It’s natural.”

Jamie is grinning, biting the inside of her cheek, her knee beginning to shudder under Dani’s palm as her boot rocks against the tile floor. Dani squeezes harder.

“Well, that’s--that’s sort of the thing,” she says. “The reason we wanted to visit. We, um. We’ve--well--”

Judy is doing that mom thing she’s always admired, carrying three steaming mugs to the table without spilling a drop. She takes a seat across from them, beaming with every inch of her face, and Dani thinks, Love. This is what love looks like. This will be okay. 

“Judy, I--I wanted you to be the first to--I mean...”

There are words here, she knows with frustration. Words, not even so big or so complicated, if only she can pluck them from the air. Just say it, Dani. Just say--

“I never thanked you properly,” Jamie says. Her voice is impossibly steady, her face passive. Beneath the table, her leg has stopped its jittering dance at last. Judy looks surprised, Dani’s teeth clacking shut on her own stammering. 

“Why do you say that, dear?”

“’Cause it’s true,” Jamie says simply. “Never did. All those years of feedin’ me, keeping clothes on my back, never once making me feel...unwanted. Didn’t have to do that, Judy. No one was making you.”

Judy’s surprise is inching toward some emotion Dani can’t quite pinpoint--pleasure, that Jamie is saying this now, or pain, that Jamie thinks for a second she wasn’t worth it. “Sweetheart, of course I--I mean, you’re my kid. You know that.”

“Wasn’t, though,” Jamie says, almost earnestly. She’s leaning across the table, her hand moving to press Judy’s. “Was just some wee mess stumbling into your life, wasn’t I? And not always grateful, besides. I was--I don’t know what I was, half the time, but I was always lucky. So fucking--sorry, sorry, so utterly lucky. Was smart enough, at least, to figure that out.”

Judy’s cheeks are bright, her eyes brimming. She seems quite unable to speak, which Jamie seems to take as a relief. Her voice is rolling with surprising emotion, pushing a little faster than is normal, save for her most vulnerable moments. 

“I was lucky you took me in, and lucky your family was willing to open up for one more. And I was...really lucky for this one.” Her eyes cut to Dani, her foot curling beneath the table around Dani’s ankle. “You brought me to her. Don’t think I can ever be grateful enough for that.”

Judy looks almost puzzled, though she’s smiling. “I’m glad to hear it. I always had a feeling, you know. That...you were a good match, somehow. You balance out. It’s important, having a friend like that.”

Friend, thinks Dani with a mouth gone dry. Best friend, sure. Best friend I can’t imagine ever being without again. 

“You brought me to her,” Jamie repeats, almost stubborn, though she’s smiling. “I’ve never loved anyone more. Don’t think I could, given all the time in the world.”

The air seems to go still, the kitchen suddenly rife with small noises Dani’s never noticed before. The hum of the refrigerator. The trickle of water down the drain through a leaky faucet. The tap of Judy’s slipper against the floor. 

“Please say something,” Jamie says. “I don’t honestly know how to--”

“Eddie had an idea,” Judy says quietly. “When you were all still, gosh, back in high school. Long time ago, it seems now.”

Dani is nodding reflexively. Jamie isn’t moving at all.

“There was...a party? I think. Almost didn’t let you all go, it was against my best judgement, but--I figured, if you were together, what harm could come of it? And then Eddie came home early. Tried to pretend he wasn’t drunk, like he’s ever been good at lying, and wasn’t angry.”

Her voice is almost dreamy with memory, her back leaning against the chair as she raises the mug to her lips. She isn’t quite looking at either of them.

“I asked him where you two were. I remember being furious that he’d leave you alone. And I remember, very clearly, him saying something strange. Danielle doesn’t need me when she’s got her. I remember that so well. Danielle doesn’t need me when she’s got her.”

Jamie swallows audibly. Her hand is still resting on the table, inches from where Judy’s was not so long ago. She looks as though she’d very much like to give in to the oldest Jamie-urge in the book, to push up and bolt from the house without looking back. Dani traces her kneecap through her jeans, fingers pressing firmly until Jamie draws a deep breath. 

“I thought it was so odd,” Judy goes on. “That he’d say something like that. But he wasn’t in his right mind, and by the time I heard you sneak in--yes, Jamie, you were never as subtle as you thought, dear--he was fast asleep. No one said anything else about it, and I thought maybe you’d just gotten into a fight. Young love is like that. It can be so jealous.”

Not always, Dani thinks. If Jamie was jealous--and she’s sure she was, to a point; there are some feelings too big and too natural to ward off completely--she tried not to let it show. Jamie’s love has always been sunlight, reassuring and steady and there even when clouds roll in. 

“This is why,” Judy says, looking Dani in the eye. “Isn’t it?”

“Why he was mad?”

“Why you broke it off.” Her eyes never blink, never stray, her gaze as solid as the table. “You said it was because you didn’t love him the right way. I didn’t understand what that meant, but I knew you knew. Always knew your own mind, Danielle. It’s one of the things I’m most proud of.”

Dani breathes, trying hard to quell the dizzy rush in her head. “Judy, I--”

“She doesn’t think she needs anyone taking care of her,” Judy goes on, like she hasn’t spoken. “Never did, even when she barely came up to my hip. Always thought she had it handled.” Her gaze slides to Jamie’s face, her lips curving. “Isn’t that right?”

“Right,” Jamie says, sounding breathless. 

“But you took care of her anyway. Every step of the way. Wouldn’t listen to me or anyone else, but she always listened to you, didn’t she?”

“Right,” Dani says, a helpless grin working onto her face. This feels like a dream. This feels like a story not quite within her own control. Judy sighs, sips her tea. 

“Well. There’s nothing more to it, then, is there?”

“There isn’t?” Dani asks. Judy pushes up from the table, shaking her head. 

“I only have one question.”

The silence is too loud, punctuated by hum and drip and tap. The silence is going to drive her crazy, Dani believes, and drive Jamie to run, and this is all going to fall apart because she so desperately needed for Judy O’Mara to know them--

“Will you be staying the night?”

“What?” Jamie says, in the same moment Dani blurts, “Sorry?”

“Staying the night,” Judy repeats. “Jamie, we’ve converted your room into a sort of hodgepodge storage-guest combination, but you can just throw all those boxes into the hall. I don’t suppose you’ll be needing the sleeping bag.”

“I--” Jamie is shaking her head very slowly, as though trying to clear water from her ears. “I--no, we’ve got...a hotel...”

“Oh, that’s just silly.” Judy waves a dismissive hand. “You’ll take the room. No sense spending money, you already came home.”

Home, Dani thinks, her heart pounding. Home, here, in the O’Mara house--an address she’d never quite claimed, but the place where all her fondest memories live all the same. The place she grew up. The place that brought her to Jamie. 

“Have you stopped in to see your mother yet?” Judy asks. “I can invite her to dinner, if you like, I haven’t caught up with her in...months, now, probably--”

“You’re not,” Jamie begins, the words drying up before they can truly escape. Judy pauses at the sink, her hand tipping the remnants of her tea toward the drain. 

“Not what, sweetheart?”

That word, more than anything, seems to unbind Jamie’s calm. That word, a simple endearment spread back through their lives like so much love in two syllables, belonging to Judy and Judy alone. Jamie swallows again, presses a hand to her jaw, closes her eyes.

“Upset,” she croaks at last. Judy raises an eyebrow. 

“My kids are happy. What on earth would I be upset about?”

It’s not a good time, Dani thinks as Jamie slumps against the table in mingled relief and exhaustion, to say I told you so. Later, she thinks--when they’re nestled in a bed just a little too small for their adult frames, when Jamie is looking up at her with glazed delight, when they’re trying their best to make a kiss sound like silence. Maybe she’ll do it then. I told you she loved you. I told you. 

Now, watching Jamie slide from the table, move across the kitchen in a daze, slip her arms around Judy in a firm hug, Dani thinks--not for the first time--that family is as much a choice as it is a gift. That Judy has always chosen well. That Jamie has learned from the best. 

Told you, she thinks, feeling perfectly at peace.