#I really like humans are space orcs

[cassandraxiv]

"You're welcoming us with open arms!? After all that we did to our own planet, you'd still welcome us into galactic society!?"

"You were a different people then. Just the fact that you realize this shows how much humanity has matured as a species."

"We nuked ourselves! We irradiated our planet, blotted out the sun and nearly wiped ourselves out!"

"Everyone does. It's a rite of passage..."

[stubz]

Storyteller

"Hello Max, I'm here to surprise Pollix with a early pick up."

"Oh how nice, although I don't know if he'll want to go right now."

"Why not? Is he in the middle of a game?"

"No, its story time."

The tighalax smirks. "You really think he won't want to come because of 'story time'?" he laughs.

"Just look and see." the human smiles.

The teacher leads the giant feline being through the child centre to a corner where a colorful and beautiful plush carpet lays on the floor. Not that you could see it as it was covered by sitting younglings. All entranced by the human standing before them telling them a story rather animatedly and loudly.

"Pollix, lets go." calls Dux, looking at his cub.

Not even a glance.

"Pollix."

An ear twitch but still no look.

"...Pollix!"

The whole class looks including Kim.

"Oh, Pollix, your dad is here."

"Papa, not yet! The story isn't done." whines the cub.

"...you want to finish the story?"

"Pollix wants to finish the story! Jax and Morgana are fighting the monster now!" cries Nova.

"...is it almost over?"

"Oh, um, almost but, Pollix I can tell you the rest tomorrow-"

"My Papa says its okay!" Pollix cries interrupting Kim

"...is it okay if I...?" trails a very embarrassed Kim.

The tighalax nods and actually goes to sit next his cub. The sight making Max snort as the 8 foot tall feline like being towers over the younglings. After he settles in and Pollix snuggles in on his Papa's lap he gives Kim the okay to continue.

"...story teacher!" whines the children, their teacher taking too long for their liking to continue the story.

"Oh...right...okay then." she mutters, face red from nerves and embarrassment. This was the first time a parent saw her tell a story.

"...the monster roared at our heroes, swinging his mighty axe down at them. Flung into the air our hero, Jax, is grabbed by the giant's fist and thrown into the monster's mouth." The cubs gasp as the human acts out the catching their hero. Her voice slowly getting louder again.

"NO!"

"What does Morgana do?!"

"Is he dead?!"

"Morgana, seeing that the villain ate her friend charges at him as soon as she lands. Her sword drawn and ready, her face angry, eyes full of tears, and with a mighty cry leaps at the giant." She begins to act out the story, going back to her story telling enthusiasm.

"The monster in turn swings his axe at her, with her in the air it will definitely hit her. The axe hits Morgana and she falls to the ground badly hurt...but not without killing the beast. At the last moment she gathers all her magic into her sword and throws it at the giant monster, piercing his evil heart!" cries Kim, thrusting her hand out as if she had just thrown the very sword.

"...and then..." whispers Nova.

"The monster fades away, revealing a hurt but alive Jax. Seeing Morgana he drags himself to her and they hug, happy to see each other again. Even if they're both not in one piece. The healers arrive and the two head home where they continue the rest of their adventure together, as they were always meant to be. The end."

The cubs cheer with most asking for another story.

"No, no more stories for today. Let's give Kim a break, okay, she's already told you 4 stories." Max ushers the kids towards the toys.

"That was a very good tale teacher Kim, I never knew Earth had such interesting history."

"Hmm? Oh that wasn't our history."

"A legend or folktale then?"

"No, just a made up story."

"Ah, could you tell me the name of it? I would like to read it to Pollix at home, it sounded very interesting."

"Oh uh, I actually just made it up." the human smiles.

"You made it up!? How long ago? Must have taken you ages." Praised Dux, tail flicking in excitement.

"Actually I just made it up now, I make the story up as I go."

"...you make it up as you go...y'know that offer to quit your job and join my pack still stands right? Our planet and culture greatly value Storytellers such as yourselves, you could even make a great living if you worked for me."

"Thanks but I don't think I could ever do that, I hate public speaking!" grins the human.

"...but you just-"

"Children are the exception."

[ruinatlantis]

Honestly, thank god for the tumblr version of humans are weird/space orcs/whatever. I love the stories I read on here about discovery and interaction between different species and how cool space is. Every time I try to go to reddit (into the r/HFY one, which is supposed to be the same thing), all I get usually is stories of human's deadly military in space.

[thenixkat]

Broke: Humans are space orcs

Bespoke: Humans are space raccoons

[Note: If yer reblogging this post b/c you enjoy the shit-tastic white-flavored built-on human exceptionalism trope of 'humans are space orcs' this post is not for you. I am always deriding you people. The 'raccoon' part of my joke is that humans are a rather average and not special at all middle-tier organism with one or two things going for it.]

[ishipgenfics]

You and Your Human: Part 1

You are small. You have tall ears and a long tail you use for balance and to carry things. You are covered in orange-yellow fur. Standing on two legs, you are about three feet tall, but you do not usually stand on two legs. Your front legs have opposable thumbs. Your language is a series of chirps and squeaks.

You are very, very smart. You were a member of your species first space venture. You were sent as a doctor. In the years since, you have worked on nearly twenty different ships. You discovered you have a natural knack for languages. You know everything you would ever need to know.

But... you do not understand humans.

You have heard the stories, of course. Humans are very new to the galaxy, even newer than you, and they are feared. They are strong, able to take levels of pain that would kill even a Xephala. They choose the things they care about, and will destroy anything else without hesitation. They are unaffected by mental tortures, seeming to suppress memories that would make any other species break. They are deadly, and to be avoided at all costs.

But personally, you don't really see it. Your human is bigger than you, of course, but you know that you are small. It rips fabric easily, but it as gentle with you as a Kaysbury beetle. Terror flashed in its eyes when you tried to give it a medical examination. It shrieked like a nestling when it accidentantly cut itself on a bolt.

For Saint's sake, this thing can't even handle spice! How could this possibly be a threat?

You cannot speak with your human. Though you know many languages, you do not know the one it speaks. You are trying to learn. You have never yet found a language you could not master. Until then, you find other ways to understand him.

Your human is tall, obviously compared to you, but even compared to the pictures of other humans you have seen in books. It is good at projecting a confident aura, but it has tells. Its hands shake, just a little, when it is in an enclosed space. It clenches its paws when a Cervilian comes on screen. And it hates medical equipment. Its breathing speeds up noticeably when it is forced to be near such.

You record all your observations with a keen eye and a yellow notepad, and adjust your behavior accordingly.

Although your human seems uncomfortable around others, you need your crew back. This flight was supposed to be a test drive, trying out some of their duties in the new vehicle. You got distracted by your human, but the deadline is swiftly approaching. They will assume you dead if you do not return soon.

Your human is sleeping. You do not know if it has gone at light-speed before, and you do not have the words to explain. You hope it will not awaken.

You hop up into your captain's chair. It was made for a creature taller than you, but it will serve. You tap the appropriate command and passcode into the panel at your side. It glows and hums in acknowledgement. Your human has never been here. It does not like bright lights. You will have to ask Meritha if she can adjust it once you get back.

To your relief, the light-travel goes off without a hitch. It's always a dangerous procedure, no matter how many pamphlets they pass out, and you know it. You also know you aren't the best pilot in your crew. The only reason you were sent was for your diplomacy. You might not make it back, but at least you won't start a war.

You knock on your human's door and it emits a low beeping frequency until your human wakes up. Its lips are pointed downward and it is slumping. Your human dislikes being woken up.

"Thing? What-is?" your human says in your language. You shake your head (means negative, negate action). You know its language better than it knows yours, and you already have to translate for your crew. You have explained countless times that it is simply easier for you to learn rather than it, but your human is persistent. It is... endearing. In its way.

"New place," you explain. "New people. You okay?"

"Why?" your human answers. It looks uncertain. You jump up onto its shoulder and run dexterous fingers through its hair. Your human likes touch.

"Ship," you hesitate. "More safe with them. Them here, than you safer. Us safer."

"They are good?" your human asks. Its voice is low. It is being vulnerable, showing its emotions. You are so proud.

You nod. Your tail is swaying, your eyes are bright, your ears tall. It's honestly a little embarrassing-- you are glad your human can't read Pyrican body language. "Good. Safe."

You land upon the planet, your human by your side. It is wrapped up in tight clothes and a mask. It did not fight this, although you did not have the words to explain why. Your human never seemed to need the explanation that being a human was a dangerous thing in this galaxy. It knew.

Your crew is not here. This is the meeting spot. You checked, and double checked. It is in an isolated location, but with a mountain to serve as an easy sign if you land in the wrong place. This is the right spot. And you are here and they are not.

They... left you.

You have left ships before, of course. When you would get a new assignment, if you saw a better opportunity, if they did something you could not tolerate, if they asked you to do things you were unable to do. You are not a criminal, but you are a freelancer, which means you have run in the same vein as criminals before. Every time you left, it was professional and communicated clearly. If a fight broke out after that, well, that wasn't really your fault now was it?

You have never been left like this. You did not realize quite how much it would hurt.

You feel a gentle tap on one of your front legs, and turn around to see it is your human. It is bent down, with an expression you do not quite recognize on its face. "You-safe?" it asks. "Body tesned. Mind tensed. Me worried you?"

You are too tired to tell it to speak its native language, to not bother itself for you. You are one of the few species that can safely produce adrenaline, and although it doesn't make you a saints-damned killing machine like it does with humans, the crash is just as bad.

"Expected outcome not," you try to explain. Your small body shakes with heavy breathing. Light-travel is stressful and adrenaline is a void of a drug. "Crew should be here. Crew not here. Alone."

Your human wraps you up in a gentle embrace. You feel certain that if it just squeezed a little tighter, it could pop you like a balloon, but it does not. "I am here."

Whimpering and snuffling, you bury your face into your human and let yourself cry.

[jestiamy]

I like mentally equating haircutting in humans are space orcs aus to those hoof maintenance/horn trimming videos that get like. at least ten comments each time going "???? so are we going to ignore the literal animal torture happening here??"

[faytelumos]

Into the Black With a Matchstick, pt2

@those-damn-snippets @thepotatoofnopes @robin-parravel @invader-mint-tea

cw: drug use (barely described)

previous

---

It wasn't waking up from cryo that had Doctor Adina Ramirez clutching a sick bag for dear life. The massive headache that came from being a freeze-dried raisin person and the feverish, wholistic hunger were nausea-inducing, of course, but her stomach was stronger than that. It wasn't even the ship's interface blandly informing her that there was an intelligent, non-human body attempting to establish a communications line. Even walking up to the console and seeing that the four biologists (including both astrobiologists) who had failed to wake up before her hadn't quite been enough to bring her to her knees with a sudden cold-sweat.

It was the mission clock.

26,008,372 years, 217 days, 8 hours, 36 minutes

She had checked four times to make sure that was million, and not thousand. Maybe if it was thousand, she wouldn't have needed the bag.

Doctor Johnathan Harrison sat at the table with his hands buried in his hair, leaning forward on his elbows, the rehydration pouch sitting in front of him. He hadn't punctured it yet. Adina had unfortunately almost finished hers.

The agreement had been that if and when space travel technology advanced, a crew would catch up to The Solstice and update everything. Maybe even wake the crew and check up on everyone. But almost fifty times the length of recorded human history had passed between the launch and this wake-up call.

Humanity was dead. Even if the sun was still alive (she thought it should be), there was simply no way that humans still existed on that planet. Just as terrifying, perhaps humanity had completely collapsed back to the stone age and rebuilt from scratch, hitting a second space age and setting off into the sky without any kind of record of The Solstice to recover.

She wretched again.

"You're gonna make me sick," John whispered shakily.

Adina coughed and spat, then wiped her face and pulled the bag away with trembling hands. She closed it off and carefully placed it in the receptacle.

"Okay," Adina breathed, though her voice was scratchy and uneven. "Aliens. We have to talk to the aliens." John laughed, suddenly and unsteadily.

"Welcome back to the land of the living!" he joked, "Your entire planet is probably dead and there's a real alien ship knocking on the door — have a Slurpee!" Adina laughed, too, even though it made her head scream and her guts ache harder than ever.

John got to work setting up the channel. The frequency the aliens were using was unorthodox, but easy to replicate. But Adina felt like the entire ship was spinning like a top, her badly dehydrated and starving body wobbling all around her. God knew how much more time the aliens were going to give them to talk — for all she knew, the initial message was, "You're trespassing, respond immediately or we'll turn you into space dust."

And then the computer had asked for a confirmation, then proceeded to wake up five pods in careful succession, then handed out a lunch pack, and then finally informed Adina that there had been a message.

"I can't do this, I'm gonna pass out," Adina breathed. Holy shit, she felt like human garbage. The word "dizzy" came nowhere near this sensation. John watched Adina with bloodshot eyes and shaking fingers.

"I, I know of something that'll help."

It took ages, but they finally ended up in the medbay, and John pulled a small bottle out of a hiding spot so out-of-the-way there was no way in hell he hadn't been the one to stash it there.

"Doctor Harrison?" Adina said cautiously as John found a syringe. "Did you smuggle drugs onto an international, interstellar spaceship?" John looked at her like he was confused, eyes wide and lips parted as he held his items. He blinked once, and for a moment he looked every bit like a kid caught breaking the rules red-handed.

"It's a performance enhancer."

---

The aliens looked like exactly what would happen if a lion and a hyena had a baby and it came out a dinosaur.

There was no sense of size with the video feed, but she could tell by their eyes that they were huge. Her guess was a meter and a half at the head, which was well bigger than both Earthly carnivores. The scales on their bodies were thick and healthy, with Paxie's being a glimmering maroon and the other's some kind of iridescent purple-green. Both monsters had jaws that were definitely designed to crush sturdy bones, but Paxie was bigger and had longer teeth. The other one's shoulder spikes were thicker, and its head was more aerodynamic.

These drugs were something else. Adina almost couldn't feel her body right now, which was exactly what she needed. Her brain was running on overdrive and she could feel it, but she was keeping pace like a thoroughbred. These aliens were large carnivores with adaptations for high levels of sunlight, dry air, blunt force trauma, fast-moving targets, and strong prey. Something like this and smart enough to have an instant universal translator could do whatever the hell it wanted with The Solstice and still have time for lunch afterwards.

God, Adina was starving.

"Captain Ramirez, Lieutenant Harrison, please excuse us," Paxie choked before turning off the translator. The other one said something in their unfiltered language.

"What do we do?" John whispered.

"They're trying to be friendly," Adina uttered. "Hopefully they mean it."

"Are we betting the last members of humanity on that thing's friendliness?" John said.

Adina watched Paxie. Their appearance set off alarm bells all across Adina's brain. But she couldn't tell how much was basic instinct and how much was logical caution. And if she was being honest with herself, she'd probably never in her life been this mentally compromised. High on some weird stimulant and staring an honest-to-God intelligent alien in the face while the death of her entire species was pounding on the walls, she knew if there was another choice in leadership, she'd have to tap out immediately.

But she was the first biologist lucky enough to wake up, and she'd finished her thesis a year before John.

"We don't have a choice," she breathed shakily, trying to school her expression. She was the leader of the human species right now.

She was not ready for this.

"No matter what happens, we're at these people's mercy," she whispered. "The best we can do is appease them until we get our bearings." John sighed raggedly, and Adina could see from the corner of her eye that his hands were shaking badly again. Hers probably were, too. She couldn't look at them. She just kept watching Paxie, because she was in charge now, and everything she had ever known depended on her getting everyone through this alive.

---

Paxie tried to keep their breathing even as the shuttle hissed and trundled towards the alien ship. Both sides had agreed that there was no need for the ancient ship to adjust its course; the Xoixe vessel could adjust and keep pace with it without any trouble. Paxie thought it a clever enough resolution, since the composition of the ancient ship's fuel was so foreign it wasn't yet clear if anyone could make more.

Paxie wasn't scared. Of course not. These creatures, unnerving as they were, posed no threat. They were small and their machinery, upon closer inspection, was in a bad way. And it was no wonder, with how long they'd been adrift and asleep. But Paxie would be lying outright if they said they weren't intimidated by the task of assimilating these things. Of course it would turn out that when they finally got a chance to make first contact, they got the most unusual creatures in the universe. It was just their luck.

The boarding party was comprised of three individuals. Paxie had flexed their authority to afford themself a seat with only a hint of shame. The second person was another Xoixe, Ensign Kime, a xenomedic. The third individual was the most important of the group.

Sergeant Klte was a Qomo, one of the smaller species in the Xoixe's catalog of allies. Given the delicate and relatively defenseless physiology of the new aliens, Paxie had determined that Klte would be the best received as the face of the alliance. Klte, like all of its kind, stood on four thin legs, each ended with three hooked claws. It rose up on an elegant, slim torso, four thin arms with four claws each sprouting from reedy shoulders. Its head was sleek and mostly featureless, its face consisting only of a thin, lipless line for a mouth and a pair of large, black eyes. The pale skin that looked much softer than it felt completed the look of a spindly, almost harmless individual.

Paxie was quite proud of themself. Klte was downright cute, and the aliens would surely warm up to its lanky and pale appearance. Especially since the two species shared compatible atmospheric needs.

The boarding ship rotated slightly and decelerated, then made a low-pitched rattle. The clamps were secured. A moment later, there was a brief, deep hiss, and the airlock doors unlocked and slid open.

Captain Ramirez and Lieutenant Harrison both stood in the hall, and they had to look up to meet Paxie's eyes. Paxie dipped their nose respectfully before speaking, and the translator repeated their words in a small speaker on the outside of their environment suit.

"May we come aboard?"

Ramirez and Harrison looked at Paxie and Kime with wide eyes. But when Harrison noticed Klte, they… flinched.

And then Ramirez gasped quietly.

Paxie glanced back at Klte, concern worrying at their stomach. Perhaps these weren't fear responses. As a prey species, these newcomers could have mannerisms a Xoixe simply didn't understand.

"Please, follow us," Ramirez said, and both of the small creatures turned and walked into the ship. Paxie was going to lead, but the tunnels in this vessel were… tight. Being a carrier, Paxie was about as big as Xoixes got, and they weren't confident in their ability to move around in such a claustrophobic space, especially with their full environment suit on. They turned to Klte.

"Go ahead; I might have trouble."

"Aye, sir," Klte hissed in its rasping voice. It clicked forward, and Paxie also allowed Kime to pass before finally stepping in and bringing up the rear.

Paxie couldn't see well over Kime's shoulders, but they heard the moment when Klte popped the seal on its helmet. Ramirez gasped again, something struck the metal floor, and Kime halted abruptly.

"What happened?" Paxie barked, perking their ears against the inside of the helmet.

"Nothing, we're all fine," Ramirez replied. Kime tried to look backwards, but there was no room in the tight hall. Paxie shifted, trying to get any kind of view, but their helmet just smacked against the cable routing in the top of the hall. They gritted their teeth.

"Admiral," Kime uttered, and she had turned off her translator. Paxie did the same.

"Yes?"

"I don't have a good understanding of their chemical biology yet, but these creatures are exhibiting signs of extreme stress."

Paxie watched Kime's back as they all clamored through the corridors. "You're my eyes, Ensign."

"Their muscles are tense, eye movement is rapid as far as I can tell, hypersensitivity to sound and visual input, and I may be detecting altered blood-flow."

Paxie held back a self-deprecating sigh. They had truly thought Klte's appearance would be soothing, but there must have been something about it that set off the new aliens. Paxie couldn't help but wonder what possible characteristic a Qomo had that was unsettling.

"We'll see if distance with Sergeant Klte will make a difference," Paxie said. "Hopefully our new friends will be comfortable enough joining us to tell us what's happening here."

---

next

[fivevotesdown]

"humans are space orcs" "humans are the most universal form of intelligent life" "humans will be known for their adaptability"

humans are the spiritualists actually. humans are the religious, striving to reach enlightenment in all things by any means necessary. humans are the mediums and the fortune-tellers and the soothsayers, humans look to the stars for meaning and understanding. humans search for purpose in a universe crafted of pure chaos, and they find it, or if they can't, they make their own.

humans are the chefs with their sleeves stained orange from spices and fragrant broths, humans take the strange and dangerous plants their world cruelly gives to them and makes foods so wonderful and beautiful and vast that worlds of flavor live within the very air around them. they heal the sick, they soothe the soul with hearty bowls warmed by fireside.

humans are the storytellers, the skalds and the bards and the men sat 'round campfires with guitars in the dark singing hymns to their lovers, odes to the clouds. they tell tales of heroes long past and dangers overcome, to prepare their children for the obstacles and remind them where they came from, to foster adventure and honor and courage.

humans are the wonder and the music and the salt and the sugar and the heart and the soul, they are the spice of the universe. if there is anyone out there to be found, and i hope that there will be, we will bring to them pastries and curries and hope and prayer and we will teach them to tell stories, and they will use our teaching to tell their own children of our kindness and our reverence, of our bravery and freedom, of our spirit, should we ever be allowed to meet them.

or so one can hope.

[maeamian]

tbqh it's weird as hell to me that there's this given understanding about fictional aliens that they'd be surprised or confused by adaptability, but like, as far as we know and understand that is a fundamental quality of life itself not life on earth. In order to become a spacefaring species any spacefaring alien would've had to survive whatever space threw at them for billions of years as well as whatever their planet in specific threw at them, even the 'good' planet we know about is pretty fucking hostile to life. It's just implausible to me that like, among all the possible sapient species we'd be unique or interesting for the level to which we have the ability to adapt to situations, something that any biological creature of any origin would also need to survive long enough as a species to figure out how space works.

[bedlamsbard]

starting to think MCU aliens who attack Earth are the equivalent of the guys on that one chart who think they can fight a bear and win

[betterbemeta]

I feel like we get "human raised by <aliens>" or "<alien> raised by humans", and sometimes "a human but like, from the LARP planet or something,"

but we almost never get "human who's just Like That."

I don't mean a quirky awkward turtle it's-an-autistic-person-but-we'll-never-say, I mean like,

everyone assumes they must have been raised by some obscure species, or come from some remote colony with exotic norms, and it just turns out they're weird. that's all.

[ghost-vessel]

So, if it is impossible to spin an object close to and at the speed of light because the power requirement becomes infinite, what will happen if we remove one of the limiting factors? If we put, let's say, a magnet in a perfect vacuum in zero-g, there will be nothing to stop it except walls in the enclosure. It should still move because of its and others' magnetic fields. After all, we already have Electromagnetic Railguns, and that is just "magnets make things go fast." Now, of course, if this does happen, the most likely thing to happen is that it would make a small gravity well, if one at all, and eventually be stopped by other magnetic fields as simply our wires would not be able to handle the number of pulses needed to make it go faster. But what if we make it spin in a circle. It would put less strain on every magnet, and what if we instead made the small object magnetic mettle and put it in the same environment as the last, but this time in a ring. It might just spin fast enough to make a gravity well (most likely crushing everything around it) and break the fabric of reality that would let faster-than-light travel between two points

[ace-nding-god]

a large portion of fantasy: fire = dragons

Airth: fire = humans

Ask any non-human race who has sat by the fire with a human companion, and they will tell you that the fire reflects in their eyes like it belongs there. That the light plays across their face as naturally as the breeze moves through leaves. The other races have their oddities, certainly, but none are so connected to fire. If a culture has a fire deity, then the culture originated with humans. If a festival or ritual directly involves fire, then it originated with humans. Ask any non-human race who has lived or fought alongside humans, who has seen them live and die, and they will tell you that there is a light in human eyes that one does not find elsewhere.

The fire reflects off their eyes like it belongs there.

[boredthoughts]

This is clever, Plus I learned something new today on what 'bear' country is.

(Also that's a lot of tags)

ok i just had a humans-are-space-orcs thought

i grew up in bear country. like, the “you can’t leave food in your car because the bears will break your car and eat it” kind of bear country. so up there people make sure to teach their kids how to avoid getting eaten by bears. and you know the number one thing you do to avoid encountering a bear in the first place?

you make sure it hears you coming

if you’re hiking with a friend, you talk loudly the whole time. if you don’t want to do that, or you’re alone, you wear bells or something else that makes noise. because bears aren’t stupid, they know humans are trouble, and they don’t wanna fuck with you any more than you wanna fuck with them

like. think about that. bears are walking tanks. they can cave in the door to a house or move around a 500 pound dumpster like its nothing. you can shoot a bear with a gun and not do much more than piss it off. a bear could absolutely pick off one lone human on a hike for a free meal. but bears never��hunt humans, and they rarely attack humans

like imagine an alien visiting earth and their human friend hands them a bell and says “when we go through here we gotta make sure the local apex predators know exactly where we are at all times”

and they’re like “…oh, yes, of course. the other predators on earth must have learned that they can’t kill a human, and it’s better to avoid a fight if you can”

and the human says “no, if a bear attacked us we’d die”

and they’re like, wait, what?? you want to give our exact location to something that could easily kill us? do you have a death wish??? and their friend is like, no, look, bears don’t fuck with humans if they can help it

not because they can’t, but because they know better

[faytelumos]

Hi! I rediscovered your aliens find cryogen-frozen humans story, and i couldn’t help wonderingif you would ever do a part 3?

Here it is, after quite a long time! Hopefully I get part 4 out faster than this. 😅

Into the Black With a Matchstick, pts 1-2 recap

first previous

---

Previously, on Into the Black:

"This style and material composite isn't in our registry," Engineer Tinel declared. She looked up to Admiral Paxie. "We haven't met this species yet."

The first step was to send the Greeting Call. The way a society answered the Greeting Call was often the best way to determine if they were ready for First Contact.

"S-sir! We're being hailed!"

"Greetings. I am Admiral Uten Paxie of Arkinu. Our species is the Xoixe. It is a pleasure to meet a new race of intelligence."

"I am Captain Adina Ramirez of Earth, and this is Lieutenant Johnathan Harrison. We weren't expecting to meet intelligent life on our journey. Normally, we probably would have packed a few extra diplomats."

"Would you feel more comfortable if we contacted your diplomats?"

"Even if we could, our home planet is twelve lightyears away."

Captain Eme leaned his head close to Paxie's and uttered lowly: "They don't have any rings on their ship."

This ship had no rings or projection structures. They had just been puttering through the system on a barely active engine.

"How many generations have passed on your ship, Captain Ramirez?"

"None; everyone on this ship is in cryogenic stasis."

What in the name of Creation had caused a species to freeze all crew on a ship?

"What the fuck?" Eme breathed.

"Captain Ramierez, how long have you been traveling?"

26,008,372 years, 217 days, 8 hours, 36 minutes

The agreement had been that if and when Earth's space travel technology advanced, a crew would catch up to The Solstice and update everything. Maybe even wake the crew and check up on everyone. But almost fifty times the length of recorded human history had passed between the launch and this wake-up call.

Humanity was dead.

"I can't do this," Adina breathed, hunched over the cantina table and the regurgitated remains of her hydration pack, "I'm gonna pass out."

"I, I know of something that'll help," John rasped.

"Doctor Harrison, did you smuggle drugs onto an international, interstellar space ship?"

The aliens looked exactly like what would happen if a lion and a hyena had a baby and it came out a dinosaur.

"Are we betting the last members of humanity on that thing's friendliness?" John asked.

"No matter what happens, we're at these people's mercy," Adina whispered.

The boarding party was comprised of three individuals. Admiral Paxie, xenomedic Ensign Kime, and Sergeant Klte. Sergeant Klte was a Qomo, one of the smaller species in the Xoixe's catalog of allies. Given the delicate and relatively defenseless physiology of the new aliens, Paxie had determined that Klte would be the best received as the face of the alliance. It stood on four thin legs, rose up on an elegant, slim torso, and had four thin arms, a sleek, mostly featureless face, a thin, lipless mouth, large, black eyes, and pale skin. It was downright cute.

"Admiral," Kime uttered, looking at the new aliens, "these creatures are exhibiting signs of extreme stress."

"Hopefully our new friends will be comfortable enough joining us to tell us what's happened here," Paxie said.

---

next

[cipheramnesia]

I think in the humans are space orcs vein of posts, it's very funny and possible that humans don't have the same emotions as some other extraterrestrial civilization. Imagine they come rockin up to Earth only to discover we don't experience the fundamental emotions of [untranslatable clicking and hissing screech]. And then we discover that we're the weird ones because stuff like love or anger, no one really cares about those, but humans are seen as brutal, emotionless machines because everyone knows we don't have [clicking and hissing screech].

Like, we try and make normal and compassionate decisions, but no matter what we think we're doing, to almost every non-human we encounter, it's just kid gloves, feral dog handling. By all measurable standards, human tech lags behind every other civilization by decades, at best, usually centuries. And yet it's humans that get roped into every conflict, that decimate opposing armies, that break the backs of interplanetary governments - and we just never understand why. Sometimes we don't even realize we're being used in a war, all because we are, somehow, unfeeling monsters with no [?????].