#I really don't care for anything or anyone else in here

[intheupside]

which teammate could go on dancing with the stars?

the way kris goes: sid has no chance and doc’s like kris would probably be good at it but i don’t want to say him 😂

Cody Glass: Going on vibes alone -- I'd probably have to say (O'Connor). It'd just be funny. I think he'd do a good job, but he's just a funny guy I would love to watch dance.

Matt Nieto: I could see Kris Letang doing pretty well on that show for some reason. He seems like he'd be good.

Sidney Crosby: I'll go with Petey. He can move. He can sing, but he can move too.

P.O Joseph: Honestly, I would say (Tomasino). I feel like he can, I like his energy so far.

Jesse Puljujarvi: Hayes. He can do everything.

Kevin Hayes: I think Noel (Acciari). He was a big dancer when we were younger.

Noel Acciari: I'd say either Tanger or Hayesy, I think they could dance.

Alex Nedeljkovic: I feel like I've seen (Pettersson) dance. Cookie (Acciari), that guy is good at anything he does. He's not going to be the best, because not everybody is the best at everything, but he's good at a lot of things.

Joel Blomqvist: Karl. I think he's a pretty stylish man, I think dancing would suit him pretty well.

Michael Bunting: Myself. I haven't seen anyone else dance, but I would say myself. I would compete, for sure. Maybe reach the semis. I don't want to get too ahead of myself, but for sure.

Anthony Beauvillier: I would say Michael Bunting. I've seen him dance, he's got some moves.

Rickard Rakell: Bunting. Pretty recently, I saw some of his moves. (raises eyebrows) He's pretty good.

Marcus Pettersson: Raks. He's got good movement, he has control of his body. I feel like everybody else has good control too, but there's a lot of stiff people in here.

Bryan Rust: Petey. He seems to have the flexibility and coordination, I think he would do well.

Matt Grzelcyk: I think Tanger. He's athletic, a good-looking guy. I think he'd have some good dance moves. (Letang, overhearing from the next stall: "I what?!")

Kris Letang: (Turns to Grzelcyk) Grz, you got some moves? Sid has no chance. Petey can sing, I know Petey loves the karaoke. Maybe OC. Do you need the personality for it? He thinks he does.

Valtteri Puustinen: I say Jesse. Did you see the video where he's on the bike in his home? (Waves arms around, imitating the video) I think he's so good.

Sam Poulin: I'd say Tanger because he skates really well, he'd be a good fit for that.

Erik Karlsson: Rusty. He's got some pretty good moves, and he's pretty good at direction, he'd be easy to coach.

Owen Pickering: Rutger (McGroarty). He'd love something like that, he loves the attention.

Ryan Shea: Not Kevin (Hayes), not (Jack St. Ivany), not Petey. Honestly, I feel like Karl. I'd probably say (Anthony) Beauvillier too, he's pretty quick. I feel like he has good feet.

Tristan Jarry: I want to say Matt Nieto, I think he'd be good at it, just the vibe he puts out. He'd do really well with it.

Phil Tomasino: I'm gonna say (Pickering). He's got a lot of confidence, let's go with Picks.

Blake Lizotte: I feel like Karl could do well on that show. He just takes care of himself. He's dressed nice. He would fit the TV personalty. He's a good skater, so he probably could dance.

Ryan Graves: I bet Tanger would be OK. I've never seen him dance, but that'd be it.

Drew O'Connor: I think (St. Ivany). He's a Cali boy, he's got that kind of swagger about him. He might be a little stiff, but he's got that entertainment background. His brother's a movie star or something. I can't say Tanger. Like, Tanger would probably be decent at it but I don't want to say Tanger.

Jack St. Ivany: I'd go with (Kevin Hayes). He would do a good job with it, just being super lighthearted. I haven't seen his boots moving yet but I'm sure he can move his hips. (Me: Drew said you.) I think I could do all right. I would do better than OC, if we're being honest. I get the feet moving.

[femmenature]

nobody gets me, you do

Pairing: Ellie Williams x f! reader (ofc)

Summary: where your ex Ellie can't spend another day pretending she doesn't still love you.

Warnings: Inappropriate language.

-

you usually appreciated this kind of nights. Where you don't have to work and you can watch a series or put more effort into the food, and not just make a simple white rice. You used to appreciate it in Ellie's company. Now you prefer to keep your head busy, work, study, do some gardening even though you know perfectly well how horrible you are at it. And that your head will probably play tricks on you and remind you of how Els laughed for a week because a damn cactus dried up on you. A sigh escapes your thoughts. “See, this is what happens when you're distracted,” you say to yourself, leaning against the kitchen counter. But your relaxed posture didn't last long, as someone knocked on your door. Strange, knowing that you didn't order anything to eat and didn't invite your friends. You walked to the door and opened it with your eyebrows furrowed, you were going to open your mouth but it was her, and you just stood with your hand on the door frame and your heart in your mouth.

Ellie looked at me and blinked rapidly, as if checking that this was not a dream. Her heel rested on the floor, leaving the toe of her slipper raised nervously. “hey” she let out in a sigh, which she seemed to have been holding back for quite some time.

“hey…” my voice betrayed me and trembled as I said something as small as a greeting. Though I guess it only matters who you're saying it to, and having her in front of you isn't easy, more so when you've had no contact for the past five months.

“I know it's weird, knocking on your door knowing we're not together” she spoke fast on the last words, wanting to cover up the fact that you guys are apart, because it hurts her more than anything else in this world ”but I'd rather you see me as a freaking weirdo than keep this to myself any longer. Altough you know I'm weird, I mean, you know me better than anyone else and-” she stopped talking, knowing she was getting distracted.

“do you want to come in and we can talk inside?” even though you're scared to death and more uneasy than ever, you acted calm so she would be too. She nodded and you invited her in, closing the door behind her. “so…why are you here?” you don't act disinterested, not excited either, Even if you are. You disguise the fireworks in your stomach as you smell her perfume when she walked inside. As if your house is complete again.

“uhm, these five months” she licked her lips nervously as she looks away remembering the days she spent without you ”were the worst months in the world. And it's just pathetic to tell you knowing that you're the reason I had such a hard time. Or the absence of you. I was with a part of you, with your ghost that haunted me everywhere I went reminding me that it wasn't going to be the same without you, and the worst part is that even though it wasn't really you it was all I had left to not feel completely alone in the world. So somehow I didn't want it to go away” her eyes finally met mine, softening ”our pictures are still in my room, even our saved game from the last time we played Life is Strange together. I didn't touch it waiting for you to come back, in that stupid hope that you'd show up and we'd forget our stupid fight. But I guess our pride won us over once again.” she moves a little closer, slowly, as if she's afraid the floor beneath her will crumble ”and for the first time in my life I couldn't care less about my pride because I know you're on the other side of the scale. And the love I have for you compares to absolutely nothing I have or will ever be able to have.”

your eyes become crystal clear, you think this is not real, you imagined so much that this moment would come, you made so many scenarios with Ellie and that she will come back into your life, but not like this. She is practically showing you her heart like never before, in a desperate attempt to get back to being everything she loves and still loves. You were going to say something, but she cut you off, she had more to tell you, more to show you how much she misses you.

“So I'm here. I'm not going to lie to you and pretend that I don't expect you to answer me, that I'll be able to wait for you to think and answer me without falling apart from the anticipation of not being able to hold you in my arms again. I don't even know how I could endure these months without you” finally closes the immense distance and gently caresses your hand tenderly ”do you know how desperate it is that no one understands you, that the only one who knew how to calm you down was miles away from me in body and soul?”

her eyes are desperately searching for yours and her voice is begging you “the only person who could do that was you and it killed me to know that you didn't want to see me when all I wanted to do was kiss you as if the world would end after that. Nobody gets me, you do. Nobody can beat your eyes, your touch, your voice, your jokes, your love. I couldn't even look at another woman because I knew no one was worth it, no one is worth it. No one can look at me and know when I'm anxious, or how much I love space. They would see the stuffed dinosaur I have in my room as a simple stuffed animal, when you took the time to know which one is my favorite and buy it for my birthday and when I would give an explanation of that dinosaur and why I have that damn stuffed animal the only thing I will think about is that I lost you forever and and-"

you approached her and gave her a sudden kiss, knowing that if you let her talk anymore, anxiety would eat her up. The kiss is tender, desperate for time apart, but at the same time soft and romantic. Her hands brought your hips closer to hers while you caressed the back of her neck. After a few seconds you separated and rested your foreheads without taking your hands off where you had them

"I hope you never have to explain to anyone why you have a dinosaur in your room because I'm not going to lose you again" Ellie smiled and hugged you, hiding her face in your neck "I wasn't planning on doing it anyway. I was going to die without you then I wouldn't give myself the chance to have another girlfriend" you laughed caressing her hair "I missed you, Els" she kissed your neck tenderly without letting go "I missed you too baby"

-

I'M SORRY if it's not well written, I don't speak English and it's hard for me not to get lost!!! Enjoy <333

[hanamukes]

Uika in Ave Mujica episode 4

For episodes 1-3 of the Ave Mujica anime, I felt like while there was definitely stuff going on with Uika that's worth unpacking, the scenes were straightforward enough in what they wished to convey that I didn't feel like they warranted explanation. Episode 4 has completely turned my view of this character on its head though. It feels as if her every word and action in this episode completely contradicts what we knew of her prior. What is going on with her?

I wanted to talk about her in a longform post, so here I am. This is maybe half analysis, half just me rambling my thoughts on what's happening on screen.

DISCLAIMER: If you're not familiar with the way I discuss this character, let me make it clear now that I absolutely love her! This post is essentially a love poem dedicated to how fantastic I think her writing is. That said my tone here might come off a bit sharp, because of how contradictory she is (which I say as a compliment) and how I want to grab her by the scruff and shake her until she tells me what's going on inside that head of hers. Just wanted to mention something before anyone gets the impression I'm criticizing her or the writing when I'm doing nothing of the sort.

Her first moment happens and immediately a lot stands out to me

First: the models in this anime fall under two specifications, girls who always have a blush programmed in and girls who don't. For instance, Sakiko has one so she's always blushing no matter her mood. Uika doesn't. But throughout this entire episode, she does. Why? Why is she so... eerily happy, in a way we have never seen her before?

Secondly, what is her aim here? Sakiko expressed her discomfort with everyone's attitudes, and rather than just being "Sakiko's second voice" as she has been up until now (take the episode 3 fight as an example), she's taking everyone else's side. Her actions are already in total contradiction with the Uika we've seen up until now, who didn't care about anything except easing Sakiko's feelings

Then this happens. Uika is basically in la-la land daydreaming about having her destiny tied to Sakiko's forever (especially because Nyamu points out that sounds like something Sakiko would say), yet she's ignoring her beloved who sits on the other side of the table

Uika, do you really love Mujica as it is when Sakiko's expressing to you directly that she's unhappy?

Ironically, when she does acknowledge Sakiko directly, it only leads to further frustration for Sakiko

Because she's focusing on the wrong thing. She's more worried about Sakiko's exhaustion from writing songs (which is something she can physically see, thus easily pick up on) rather than Sakiko's concerns with the band (which is something she'd have to actually stop to think about). It really feels like she doesn't understand Sakiko at all. How much does she actually stop to think about her feelings? How surface leveled, rose-colored lens does she view her?

Her actions here scream, "well, so long as I get to stay with Sakiko, I don't actually care if she's happy," regardless of if that's her intent. Sometimes your inner feelings aren't enough, Uika. Sakiko is actively looking miserable in front of you and what are you doing about it?

Are you really just going to leave without saying anything to her? You express concern when halfway out the door, yet when face to face with Sakiko, you act like nothing is wrong?

Again, yes, Sakiko is exhausted, but that's not all there is to it Uika. And she hasn't exactly been subtle about what she's worried about!

Mortis keeps the focus of the conversation to Sakiko having to write all the scripts (thus prompting Uika to point out that she's been pulling all-nighters and maybe that's the problem), but I quite like this line, as there's a lot to unpack here

前はそういうの絶対見せなかったのに

The translation gets the idea across fine to be clear, but in Japanese, there's an emphasis on the "never" part. It feels unthinkable to Uika that Sakiko would perhaps lash out, or show her exhaustion to the others. Kind of putting a mental pin in this because that's not the impression we, the viewers, have seen from prior episodes (Sakiko in this episode was acting incredibly in line with what we've seen of her already in this anime), so I wonder where Uika got this idea from. It makes you wonder just what Uika's impression of "normal" or "prior" Sakiko is

This line is genuinely sweet of her, if not a bit ironic because Uika's already absolutely overworking herself for Sakiko, which Sakiko pointed out in episode 1 (a lot of the officially published interviews have been pointing this out over and over too, just as a side note). They really want to ease each other's burdens...

Yeah, we're not even being subtle about Uika having to "borrow" ways to cheer people up anymore

I actually noticed this about her even back in It's MyGO. When Uika comforted Tomori in episode 10, it was eerily close to what Sakiko did in episode 3. Tomori even associated Uika's actions as being reminiscent of Sakiko's behavior. I had no evidence about Uika copying what Sakiko did then (I don't... think? know? that Uika saw Sakiko's meeting with Tomori and thus could copy it), but now? There's evidence that perhaps her acts of generosity are in fact just things she's imitating from others. If you're curious about the It's MyGO example of this, I highly recommend watching this for yourself

Oh, I'll also mention that in my pre-anime analysis post for Uika, I mentioned she probably doesn't "shine" at all as an idol without Mana, and she more or less just confirmed that for us

Again there's a lot to unpack with this part

Hoo boy. Let's go back an episode. In episode 3, Uika was feeling insecure about the fact Sakiko "knew" Mutsumi "very well since they were kids." She looked visibly bothered by it before changing the topic. So hearing from "Mutsumi" herself that "Actually, you're the one closest to Sakiko, not me" must be making her day. Mortis is actively using Uika's affection for Sakiko against her (well, for the sake of the band, but she's still manipulating (for lack of a better word) her regardless). It's a bit harrowing when you realize that Uika's happy that her "competition" for being close with Sakiko is dead, despite her not realizing Mutsumi more or less is dead at this point...

Moving on to the scene in her apartment, my only addition here is... well, it sure is something how the only things she said to Sakiko were what Mortis told her to say. She has no lines here that weren't just parroting advice. Is that really all you have to say to your beloved?

This is an interesting comment from her

Because there's a couple ways you could interpret this. Is Uika referring to the "stiff" expression, or the close proximity? We know for Sumimi, she views herself as having a "terrible expression" (when Mana's not around to change her energy), but it's also not lost on me that it could also be referring to "my image of Sumimi [where we take photos together in close proximity]"

Sakiko's reaction to this is what makes it so meaningful to me

Nyamu and the photographers are saying "this doesn't look like Mujica at all, but that's a good thing," which Sakiko is obviously displeased about. Why would going against Mujica's worldview be a good thing? And yet... even Uika, who founded the band with her and who writes all their songs, is saying she likes the photo. Once again, Uika is completely disregarding Sakiko's feelings despite how close she is to her. Physically, they're almost close enough to brush shoulders, but emotionally, I don't think Sakiko's ever felt further from her. The betrayal in her face and voice feels so obvious, yet Uika's still in la-la land like she was earlier in the episode and doesn't acknowledge it at all... we really can put ourselves in Sakiko's shoes throughout the whole episode, because truly, what is going through Uika's head?

Uika doing sweet gestures for Sakiko. This is the character I recognize!

It's not lost on me that 1. she has two umbrellas like she does in her apartment, and 2. there's this almost eerie focus on Uika making coffee for people. I say this because the opening itself has a shot of her mugs, there's that weirdly placed clip of coffee dripping in episode 2 (it's also in one of the trailers), the donut scene in episode 3, and now this. I'll be interested in seeing why this is so important to her

I do wish we had gotten to see the conversation Uika and Sakiko had here. Sakiko has a habit of brushing Uika off, but she was finally able to open up to her about something. They finally talked together amidst all of this miscommunication and not understanding one another, but we didn't get to see it... (which may be a sign they didn't really talk about much, but hey, I like my Uisaki crumbs where I can get them)

Thank you for the confirmation that Uika would be the first victim in a slasher film. Moving on

I love the way this comment is framed. If Sakiko left the band, who would be most hurt? Sakiko or Uika?

Uh oh. She's having her words used against her

What she said in episode 3 was honestly a bit careless* (she said it in front of Sakiko, who famously broke up Crychic by leaving it)... but she did have a point. She just wanted to articulate that Ave Mujica should be the 5 of them, and that surely they have a strong enough bond that if one of them left, they wouldn't be able to carry on and just "find a replacement," right? She's our kindhearted front of the band who loves everyone equally, right?

Well

(To clarify the translation, it's not super clear whether Uika said this directly to her, or if Mortis just hit the nail on the head)

Oops! Now that's an awkward position to be in, especially in front of Sakiko herself! Zero denial either...

(*I'll just tack this thought on here, but there's potential Uika's "Please don't hate me" line from the trailer could be because she feels guilt for having said the "if one member quits it's over" line (and thus bringing about the downfall of the band))

Last thing for this episode...

Same, Mortis. What? Why does she have no fight in her? Why doesn't she care? Why is she not saying anything? Are her feelings of guilt, embarrassment and self-hatred actually overpowering her drive to be with Sakiko? Is it over for her, now that the cat's out of the bag regarding the fact she only ever cared about the band to be with Sakiko?

I noticed she acted like a kicked puppy in episode 3 as well. When someone points out how selfish she actually is, she loses all her edge and goes quiet. She wants to escape the situation. She can't fight against what's true about her (the ugliness in her heart), after all, lest she drives herself into a corner as a hypocrite even more than she already has. But her reactions are fascinating to me, because you'd think the front of the band, and someone who swore her life to Sakiko out of profound love for her, would put up more of a fight to keep the band together so she can stay with her. She's not doing damage control at all, she's just taking the hits and all the impact that comes with it. Maybe it's some form of self harm...

(I'm also incredibly curious to know what Sakiko thought of all of this, but maybe that was the least of her concerns...)

Anyway, we'll see what happens next week. I wonder if and when we'll get closure on why she's been so apathetic to Sakiko, despite her claimed devotion for her. I get the impression Sakiko will be moving out (next episode?), so we'll have to see how she reacts to that...

[somewhere-in-the-rain]

3 things I loved about Onyx Storm (and 3 things I didn’t)

Disclaimer: I gave Onyx Storm 5 stars. Any book that has that kind of emotional effect on me is an immediate favourite. This is just my opinion :)

Spoilers for Onyx Storm ahead

3 things I loved

Domestic Riorgail. Omg. They are my favourite fictional couple ever. Xaden washing Violet’s hair? *chefs kiss*. Calling her “love”? Instant dopamine. I need these two like I need air.

Violet being the most intelligent person in every room. If I wasn’t in love with her before, I am now. I was eating up every moment of her verbally taking down people in positions of power, and she fucking killed it in this book. My personal favourites include telling Halden her plan for the quest squad and getting her way, outsmarting and poisoning the triumvirate, and her monologue to the riders and fliers at the beginning of the book. And Xaden just sitting back and watching and being so proud of her 🥺.

Xaden. Ugh, I adore him. I don’t even feel the need to explain this one. Him having infinite faith in Violet’s ideas and plans, being willing to do anything to protect her, throwing Halden into a wall with his shadows, being 100% down to marry Violet whenever and wherever. He’s still such a drama queen, but I love him.

3 things I didn’t love

That one scene where Violet falls off Tairn and into Xaden’s arms and says “my, my, what else can you do with those shadows” or something. This is so specific, but I got insane second hand embarrassment and had to shut the book because I was cringing so much.

The multiple POVs. Xaden’s, I understand. That happens every book. But Rhiannon’s and Imogen’s just felt so out of place and unnecessary and just really took me out of the story. I think they’re both great characters, but I don't care about their stories like I do Violet’s. I’m going to be so disappointed if RY decides to do multiple POV again in book 4 with anyone other than Xaden and Violet because I think it could genuinely ruin the series.

The plot felt a little episodic. Especially when they were in the Isle Kingdoms (unfortunate, as some of my favourite moments took place here), just going one island to another, meeting new people who all worshipped a different god and had a different trial they had to undergo and a different government system and a different personality type… I just felt a little overwhelmed by the worldbuilding sometimes.

Anyway, I’m not going to emotionally recover for at least a week from binge reading this book, and basically just needed to blurt my thoughts somewhere to clear my head before I forget them all. I hope no one is too emotionally drained from reading Onyx Storm (that’s a lie, you all had better be suffering along with me).

[viagracex]

pls could you do one where r doesn’t drink- maybe because of childhood or something else, and is worried what the boys (like the Arthurs, Chris, batch) will think, but George just supports and loves her? comfort and fluff omg 💔

Beyond the Bottle

george clarkey x reader

summary: At game night, your choice not to drink sparks supportive gestures and honest conversations

warnings: brief mentions of childhood trauma, alcoholism, and abuse

note: this one was a bit harder to write for me for personal reason. so i kept everything on a lighter note. sorry if it isn't exactly what you wanted.

2.1k words

Masterlist

₊ ˚ ˚ ₊ ‧ 。☆ 。‧₊ ˚ ˚ ₊ ‧ 。☆ 。‧₊ ˚ ˚ ₊ ‧ 。☆ 。‧₊ ˚ ˚ ₊

You fidgeted nervously with the hem of your sweater as you stood in George's kitchen, watching him grab drinks for the rest of the boys. The sound of laughter and chatter drifted in from the living room where Arthur, Chris, and the others were hanging out. Your stomach twisted with anxiety.

George turned to you with a gentle smile, his warm brown eyes crinkling at the corners. "You alright, love?" he asked softly.

You nodded, trying to force a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine."

George set down the bottles he was holding and stepped closer, gently taking your hands in his. "Hey, what's really going on? You can tell me anything, you know that."

George waited patiently, giving your hands a reassuring squeeze. Taking a deep breath, you finally met his eyes.

"I don't drink," you confessed in a rush. "And I'm worried what the boys will think. I don't want to be a buzzkill or make things awkward."

Understanding dawned on George's face. He pulled you into a tender embrace, one hand rubbing soothing circles on your back.

"Oh, love," George murmured softly, his breath warm against your ear. "You don't have to drink if you don't want to. The lads won't care one bit, I promise."

You pulled back slightly, searching his eyes. "Are you sure? I don't want to be the odd one out."

George cupped your face gently, his thumb brushing your cheek. "You could never be the odd one out. Not to me, not to them. We love you just as you are. They're good guys, yeah? They'll understand."

His words wrapped around you like a warm blanket, easing some of the tension from your shoulders. You leaned into his touch, drawing strength from his unwavering support.

"It's just..." you started, your voice barely above a whisper. "After what happened with my dad, I can't... I can't be around alcohol without feeling sick."

George's eyes softened with understanding and a fierce protectiveness. He knew about your childhood, about the nights spent hiding from your father's drunken rages. The scars it had left, invisible but deep.

As if on cue, Arthur's booming laugh echoed from the living room, followed by Chris's playful jab "Oi, Clarkey! Where's those drinks, mate? We're dying of thirst out here!"

You tensed, but George just chuckled and called back, "Keep your pants on, lads! Be there in a moment!"

Turning back to you, he said softly, "Listen, you don't owe anyone an explanation, alright? But if you want to tell them, I'll be right there with you. And if you'd rather not, that's fine too. I'll just grab you a fizzy drink or whatever.

Your eyes welled up with a mixture of relief and gratitude, your voice thick with emotion as you responded. "Thank you, George. Really, it means so much to me, you always know how to make things easier."

"I've got you," he said, his voice full of quiet conviction. "And I've got an idea."

George turned to the fridge, rummaging around for a moment before emerging with a bright smile. In his hands were two cans of sparkling water, festively decorated with fruity designs.

"How about we make our own special mocktails?" he suggested, his eyes twinkling with excitement. "We can get all fancy with it - add some fresh fruit, maybe even those little umbrellas I've got stashed away somewhere."

You couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. This was the George you had fallen for - the one who could light up a room with his infectious energy, who always found a way to make you feel special and included.

"That sounds perfect," you said, feeling a wave of relief wash over you.

George set about gathering ingredients - fresh strawberries, lime wedges, and orange juice. As he worked, he regaled you with stories from his latest YouTube video shoot, his animated gestures sending drops of juice flying as he squeezed the limes.

"And then," he said, barely containing his giggles, "Arthur decided it would be a brilliant idea to try and backflip off the sofa. Ended up with his legs over his head, stuck between the cushions!"

With practiced ease, he mixed them together in a tall glass, adding a splash of grenadine syrup for color. He garnished it with a slice of orange and a cherry, presenting it to you with a flourish.

"Your very own mocktail, love," George said with a wink. "It'll look just like what the lads are drinking, but it's all safe for you."

Your heart swelled with affection for this wonderful man who always seemed to know exactly what you needed. You took a sip, the sweet and tangy flavors dancing on your tongue.

"It's perfect," you said, smiling genuinely for the first time that evening.

George beamed, clearly pleased. He gathered up the other drinks and gestured towards the living room. "Ready to join the others?"

You nodded, feeling a surge of courage. With George by your side, you could face anything.

As you entered the living room, the boys greeted you warmly. Arthur's face lit up when he saw you, his grin wide and welcoming. "There you are! We were starting to think George had kidnapped you for himself."

Chris chimed in, raising his beer bottle in a mock toast. "Cheers, love! What's your poison tonight?"

You felt a flicker of anxiety, but George's steady presence beside you gave you strength. "Actually," you started, your voice stronger than you expected, "I've got a special mocktail tonight. George made it for me."

The room fell silent for a moment, and you felt your heart skip a beat. Then, to your relief, Chris’s face broke into a wide grin.

"Well, well, well," he said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "A mocktail, eh? God, did he knock you up or something?”

Your face flushed crimson, and you stammered, unable to form words. George quickly stepped in, his arm protectively wrapping around your waist.

"Oi, chill out, mate," he said, his tone light but with a hint of warning. "It's not like that."

You took a deep breath, drawing strength from George's steady presence. The room seemed to hold its breath, waiting for your response. The soft glow of the lamp cast a warm light over the gathered friends, their faces a mix of curiosity and concern.

"I... I don't drink," you explained, your voice barely above a whisper. "Because of some things that happened when I was a kid. It's just... it's not for me."

The words hung in the air for a moment, and you braced yourself for their reaction. But to your surprise, Arthur was the first to react. His face softened, and he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees.

"Hey, no worries at all," he said, his voice gentle. "We're just glad you're here with us."

Chris nodded emphatically, looking a bit sheepish. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that comment. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

The tension in the room dissipated like morning mist, replaced by a warm, accepting atmosphere. You felt George's arm tighten around you, and when you glanced up at him, his eyes were shining with pride and love.

"See?" he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. "Told you they'd understand."

As the evening progressed, you found yourself relaxing more and more. The boys didn't treat you any differently, including you in their jokes and conversations as if nothing had changed. They even started asking about your mocktail, genuinely curious about the recipe.

At one point, Arthur disappeared into the kitchen, returning with a tray of glasses filled with colorful, non-alcoholic concoctions. "Thought we'd all give it a go”

As Arthur set down the tray of mocktails, the living room erupted in a chorus of excited chatter. Chris reached for a vibrant blue drink, garnished with a pineapple wedge and a tiny paper umbrella. He took a tentative sip, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"This is actually quite good!" he mentioned, taking another hearty gulp.

The others followed suit, each selecting a colorful concoction. The room filled with the sweet, fruity aroma of tropical punch and freshly squeezed citrus. You couldn't help but smile as you watched your friends enthusiastically compare flavors and debate which mocktail reigned supreme.

As the night wore on, the atmosphere grew increasingly jovial. Bach suggested a game of charades, and soon the living room was filled with raucous laughter as everyone took turns acting out increasingly ridiculous scenarios. You found yourself doubling over with giggles as Isaac's attempted to mime "The Lion King" while balanced precariously on the arm of the sofa, his arms outstretched in a comical imitation of Simba being presented to the animal kingdom.

The warm glow of the lamps cast dancing shadows on the walls as the night deepened. The air was thick with laughter and the sweet scent of fruit from the mocktails. You found yourself swept up in the joy of the moment, your earlier anxieties melting away like ice in the summer sun.

As the charades game wound down, Chris suggested a round of board games. Soon, the coffee table was covered in a colorful array of game boxes, their contents spilling out in a cheerful mess. Monopoly money fluttered to the floor as Arthur dramatically declared bankruptcy, while Bach meticulously arranged his Scrabble tiles, a look of intense concentration on his face.

The room was alive with friendly banter and playful accusations of cheating. You couldn't help but marvel at how seamlessly you had been integrated into this tight-knit group of friends. Their acceptance warmed you from the inside out, like a cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter's night.

You found yourself nestled comfortably on the plush sofa, your legs tucked underneath you. George sat beside you, his arm draped casually over your shoulders, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your arm. The warmth of his touch and the genuine camaraderie surrounding you melted away the last of your earlier anxiety.

George glanced over at you, his eyes soft and full of love. "Did you have a good time tonight?" he whispered, his voice just loud enough for only you to hear over the gentle murmur of conversations tapering off around you.

You nodded, feeling a warmth in your chest that had nothing to do with the room's laughter-filled atmosphere. "I really did, thanks to you," you replied, your voice tinged with heartfelt gratitude.

George's smile widened, and he leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Anything for you," he murmured. As the others began to gather their things and say their goodbyes, George turned to face you more fully. "You know, I'm really proud of you tonight. You opened up, and that's not always easy. But you did it, and see? They all love you just as much as I do."

The room had mostly emptied, leaving just the two of you in the cozy aftermath of a night well spent. The gentle clink of dishes being gathered and the soft closing of doors punctuated the quiet.

"Thank you for being so supportive," you said, your voice soft but steady. "It means the world to me, knowing I can be myself around you and your friends."

George's hand caressed your cheek, his touch tender. "Always," he promised. "You never have to be anyone but yourself around me. That's the person I fell in love with."

The two of you sat there for a moment, wrapped up in each other's presence, the comforting silence enveloping you like a blanket. Outside, the night grew deeper, the moon casting a silvery glow through the windows, bathing the room in a soft, peaceful light.

Finally, George stood, offering you his hand with a charming grin. "Let's call it a night, yeah? I think we could both use some sleep after all this excitement."

You took his hand, squeezing it gently, and let him pull you to your feet. As you headed toward the bedroom, your heart felt light and your spirits lifted. The evening had started with anxiety, but it ended with laughter, acceptance, and the unshakeable support of the man you loved. Tonight wasn't just another social gathering; it was a reaffirmation of everything wonderful in your life.

In the quiet of the bedroom, with only the soft rustle of sheets and the distant hush of the city at night, George pulled you into his arms, holding you close. His heartbeat, steady and reassuring against your ear, was a reminder of the constant strength and comfort he provided.

"Goodnight, love," he whispered, his breath warm against your hair.

"Goodnight, babe," you replied, your voice a contented sigh. As you drifted off to sleep, wrapped up in the love and warmth of the man beside you, you knew that no matter what the future held, with George, you would always have a place to belong.

[namelessghost04]

happy wednesday! in honour of Lord Hermes' day, here are a few ways in which I honour Him <3

disclaimer: obviously you don't have to do this! everyone's practice is different. i just wanted to share my experience. feel free to include any in your practice!

make a playlist for Him! just throw in your favourite songs that remind you of Him

drink caffeine. coffee, monster energy, whichever you prefer! now, everyone reacts in a different way, you know your body better than anyone else so be careful with drinking too much! and if you cannot have caffeine...

dedicate a warm drink to Him! in my experience, He seems to enjoy hot chocolate and chamomile tea, so those are good alternatives too

learn a new language! or just review your mother tongue/your second language. i personally like to dedicate my chinese homework to Him :)

go for a walk! furthermore, you can even ask Him to go with you. it's a great way to bond with Him. you could also go for a ride in a car or bike if you'd rather

research His myths and hymns. learn as much as you can about Him

talk to Him! just pray to Him in your mind, tell Him about your day or anything that happened

learn divination in His name. i started learning cartomancy and dice divination for Him!

take a break when needed. trust me, He wants you to take care of yourself more than anything. it's okay to relax from time to time!

play with your pets! self explanatory i think

wear devotional jewellery! you can get a Caduceus necklace, or a turtle charm, or even a strawberry one! He'll appreciate it

share moments with your loved ones! just spend time with your family and friends. check up on them if they're far

try new things! is there something you've been wanting to do for a while but are too scared to try? maybe someone you really want to talk to but don't know how? just do it! trust Him

i think that's all i have for now :') khaire!

[thecradlequill]

I Struggle With Being a Dom

It's much harder for me than I wish it was. I'm naturally gentle and nurturing, and I love taking care of the people around me, especially if they're my submissive. And I have my sadistic side, the side that likes to tease and push and humiliate. I can be degrading and reassuring, rough and doting. I'll give snuggles and back rubs for hours, I'll write you little love letters expressing my appreciation and gratitude towards you. I'll give you a shoulder to lean and cry on. I will be your emotional rock.

But I'm not perfect. I'm messy and struggle to keep my house clean. I'm prone to swings of depression, where I feel like I'm worthless and need reassurance. I'm never enough but always too much. I don't remember to put the sheets on my bed, and I can't cook. You'd think I just need a housewife, someone to take care of the home while I go out and work, but I struggle with that too. I'm a struggling writer, and I don't have some big nest egg to support myself with.

I'm a dreamer. I dream big and struggle to bring those dreams to fruition. I want to hang out with my partner watching movies and playing games all day. I want to go out, but I need my partner to pick what we're doing. Otherwise, I'm bound to stay in, maybe invite a few folks over, but nothing crazy.

I'm forgetful. I can't give you a big list of rules, because I won't remember to keep track of them. I struggle with messaging people back, even though I want to. And conversations over text don't hold my interest the way in-person ones do. I can nurture and care, but I can't guide the way I wish I could. I can't be the one to keep a home or plan or organize. I'm a dreamer, and I need someone to help wrangle me in and keep me focused on the path.

But dominance is in my blood. I want to dote on my partner. I want to rub their back for hours and massage every inch of them. I want to be sadistic and make them bend to my every whim. I want to fuel their need to submit by giving them ways to please me, and rewarding them with praise when they do a good job. I want to love without holding back. But I worry that no one wants this. That I am too much of a mess to be anyone's dominant. That any submissive would feel more like they're caring for me than I am caring for them.

I don't have my life together, and I doubt I ever fully will. That's just not who I am. And because of that, I don't know where I fit in this community. I don't know what path forward there is for me here. The people who think I'm a good dom, a good caregiver, they don't see this side of me. They don't see how much of a mess I really am. I have so much going on mental health wise, things that I can't just solve, that will be with me in some form forever. And so far in my life, no one has wanted to deal with that. Or if they did want to, they couldn't handle it when things got hard.

I don't know if I can be a dominant if I am like this. I want to be, but I don't think I am what any submissive wants. I can't escape who I am at my core. I would just be faking anything else.

[shanblackrx]

So I've been seeing (and saw in real time) comments of people saying

--Either that it doesn't make sense that Joke feels so strongly about Jack when they had only briefly met 2 times before the time skip when:

1- …..bro. It was love at first sight. FOR BOTH OF THEM. Are you fucking blind? Didn't you see all the flirting at the bar and after the bar???? Also for all that's sacred What is the fucking non-romantic heterosexual explanation for this?

2- This is more of a character analysis of mine, but I think Jack gave the positive enforcement Joke never got from his family. That created not only a bond between them but also kind of an emotional dependence from Joke. I honestly don't think Joke's feelings for Jack were super healthy at the beginning, especially with how self-destructive for him he is. And that's precisely why, although all those things he does for Jack after the time skip might seem too much if it was anyone else, it's still reasonable for him. He's so guilt-ridden that he fucked Jack over when all that Jack has ever offered was kindness and something Joke never had before, that he needs to overcompensate.

And especially because he's been marinating in guilt for 5 years, with only his thoughts and his self-deprecation as company, and then seeing how things escalated for Jack in a way he never imagined, that he feels the need to fix everything for him. That is the real meaning of the "100 ways to apologize".

-- OR when people say Jack and Joke's love is unbalanced. Like it feels Jack doesn't love Joke as much, that it's too sudden, that it doesn't have romance, yadda yadda.

Let's go back to the bar scene and afterwards. This is episode 1. This is the past. This is the first time they met. They literally left out the girl (poor Rosé I'm so sorry baby you fell for a homosexual) because they were in their own little world. The world they created on that bar when they shared bad experiences and made each other company in their sadness. The world that cheered both of them up in a day of misery. Also for all that's sacred What is the fucking non-romantic heterosexual explanation for this?[x2] (underage Jack is smooth as fuck)

Not even counting the scene at the bank when Jack was so happy to meet Joke again, and then even writing down his number for Joke and saying he'd love to go drinking with him again before he vanished.

Here's another character analysis: Jack is methodical, he doesn't act on impulse, and keeps everything to himself. This, added to the fact we don't often see things under his POV, makes him a bit hard to read.

Alright but damn, no one is caught daydreaming about the face/lips/closeness of someone they're not attracted to lmfjhsfd please. This is episode 4, c'mon.

There's also this (ep 6)

and this (ep 7)

(both of which I also made an analysis of from Jack's side in this post)

and this (ep 8)

So do you really think he just pulled everything that he did that night when they get together out of his ass instead of, after him and Joke reconcile, having actively nurtured this feeling THAT HAD ALWAYS BEEN THERE???? Damn, right when they met again Jack kept Joke from signing a loan contract with Boss because he knew it would be a point of no return. Because despite all the rage and bitterness, even then he still cared about Joke and didn't want that life for him.

Jack and Joke are opposites. Joke wears his heart on his sleeve while Jack has the necessity of hiding away anything that can be a weakness. It's all in between the lines for him. But that doesn't mean the feelings are not there. It's called nuance.

Also, shit, the mutual pining is so obvious idk these people might've watched it with their eyes closed or something. like?? Things start to get messy in Jack's life mostly because Joke came with his chaotic energy trying to make things right for Jack - and if Jack didn't, little by little, allow him to, Joke would've never succeed on being by his side. Jack starts losing control of things, of himself, because he's always being pulled by Joke, gravitating towards him, and he lets it happen because he wants it. Subconsciously or not.

Anyway Jack and Joke love each other and had always loved each other, period.

[thecoolerliauditore]

I can’t exactly remember the post or tags but you mentioned something about how fandom treats popular au’s and their creators, would you ever go into that topic in further detail? I’m intrigued with your opinions on fandom and your takes but if that’s something you don’t want to get into then I understand. Random anon signing out.

I've vagued about it quite a lot because it's a topic very interesting to me in line with the rest of the fandom meta discourse-y stuff I find very fascinating to observe unfold.

I don't think I'll ever be deep-diving on it and naming all the who's who because I fear sounding like t*rkey t*m 🤢 or someone else adjacent and I doubt many artists/writers would feel completely at ease with me making judgments on how they use their platforms or unintentionally cultivate fandom culture even if it's not coming from a malicious place (<-- trust me when I say this that no fandom person I've namedropped on here is anyone I can say I dislike. Like with what I mentioned about how I'll never post about an SMP I genuinely don't have at least somewhat positive feelings towards, if I don't like someone I'll just not mention their name at all cus doing otherwise is unproductive imo unless it's a serious situation).

I'll be honest I wrote much much more but it all ended up getting wildly away from me. In short though I think the problem mostly lies in the fandom fearing itself. Too many people are too scared to do anything genuine out of fear of not being inoffensive enough, which I think is wild considering what we are doing is inherently already transgressive to anyone outside of the fandom -- please if you have the opportunity, try explaining joelshipping to an irl who doesn't care about mcyt, it's an amazing bonding exercise.

It's difficult because, on some level, if you are marked as a Big Artist you kind of lose the ability to be not inoffensive in this fandom. It's this horrible loop of self-censorship that maintains itself by making sure it goes unchallenged.

And this might be a mean thing to say but. I think a lot of New Fandom exists almost purely out of reaction to the Old Fandom and a lot of it feels.. very cynical? I think when you engage with the series as a narrative, it's more or less unavoidable that some uncomfortable themes pop up when you take the murder game as a serious setting, but as time goes on and more and more of those uncomfortable themes become vegetables hidden in a child's dish rather than stated outright, the narrative as a whole becomes left to the wayside and all that remains is this shell that somewhat mimics having things to say. I just think there's something to be said about how somewhere during SL every popular sentiment suddenly got shot down with "not everything has to be about that!" with no one offering any real alternative. and that's become so prevalent in WL fanon that even enaging with the leftover SHELL of narrative (the celestial body thing) is seen as cringe and everything has to now be layered in irony.

One weird exception I will mention is that Scott/Pearl becoming acknowledge-able as a ship is a weird turn of events and I genuinely did not expect it but their culture is. weird and unique lmao I wrote a thing before that I deleted about Smallidarity and how queerness is central to fanon but also you can only engage with it in this sanctioned for safe consumption kinda way (see: the old discourse about the "yaoi-fication of scarian" and joelshipping) that would've been really good here but whatever man. Majormoon becoming the new toxic FH discourse was not on the bingo card but holy fuck I am intrigued

[brazenmedico]

Alex knows after everything the both of them have been through, he knew trust was broken. He knew that him doing that made her question a lot about them and the way they have done things before. He had never left, because why would he? But this, this was something that was bigger then him and being she had trusted him not to hurt her and not to do what others have and he did, he knew it would take so much for her to trust him again. He knew that and he still came back because he wanted to see her. Wanted to let her know just what was going on and why he did what he did.

The way things panned out. He needed her. he loved her. Even when he first uttered those words, it felt right. More right then with anyone, even Izzie. It didn't feel like this with her and he knew trust, it would take sometime because he broke everything. But the love he has for Jo, it won't ever go away and it won't be given to anyone else. But he had a lot of explaining and really just explaining why he did what he did. Why he really just upped and left. But he felt half the man he was before he left and that says a lot. he felt weak and vulnerable and didn't want her to leave.

The letter he wrote, it was all fears inside of him. Him going through something and not needing her seeing him so weak. He still felt weak but he was super weak when all that was going on. Sure, he has appointments to keep up on and then that meant that he had to tell her everything that was going on. He couldn't hide it anymore, and it was for better or for worst for them and this was the worst. The letters were just his way of getting away without anyone questioning or following until he got back and got to explain why. After talking to Bailey and getting his job back the next person was Jo and she seen him before he could find her.

But they finally got alone time, and they get to talk. About everything that has been going on and why he did what he did. He let out a low sigh, He didn't expect Jo to really forgive him or to even give him the time of day. Alex ran his fingers through his short hair slowly and he sighed low even more, he just felt weak. "I know Jo. Just, I am used to being the strong one, the one who can handle everything and take care of everyone else. I couldn't handle it and take care of myself as well. I just panicked, and everything else that is going on, you are involved. I already changed everything when I got everything transferred and you being my emergency contact. It just, I hope you understand I didn't do it to be rude, it just was the first thing i thought about. She don't know anything, it is more i went to New York and that was everywhere I was." He hoped she believed him.

"And I came back and talked to Bailey because she got a letter as well, and I wanted to make sure I could have my job in between all the appointments I have to keep up on here, as I found them here and got everything taken care of. So all I need is for you to show up when I have one."

Continued storyline with @briskofagony

Alex knows the way that he left wasn’t ideal. He wrote a letter and lied about everything. Maybe it was just all in his head that Jo would just forget about it and move on. But she didn’t. She didn’t at all. The letter was just a way of getting out of something and doing this alone so she didn’t have to see him sick. That was not something that Alex asked for. He didn’t ask for being sick, but New York was the best place to go with the hospitals there and the options they had. That is why he went there and that is why Alex was mad at himself for writing those words and telling Jo something that would never happen. He knows she had to be hurt, but he didn’t know until he got back in Seattle. 

He thought he was protecting her. He thought he was really doing the right thing by Jo. Really just trying to do what was right for him and her at that time, but seeing the look on her face and seeing the look when he told her that, he figured he didn’t do anything right by no means. Maybe he was just scared about the fact that he was sick and he could have not been the same person, so he was just trying to really feel things out and see where he was when he got back. But it didn’t make it easier. It made it harder knowing that Jo was hurt and he was the one who caused all the hurt she was feeling. 

That is why he wanted to let her in on the meeting about everything that was going on. About his work that had to be done to get back to work and just regarding his heath and the treatments he had to still undergo. But seeing the look in her eyes, he knew they needed to talk. He needed to explain himself and they needed to get back to being how they were before he left. So when she called he didn’t miss the opportunity to get back to the place they used to call home with one another. Where they used to have a lot of good times and maybe, after this talk they will be getting back to that. But Alex wasn’t going to push at all. He knows he messed up and he knew she wouldn’t forgive him that easily. But it was worth a shot. 

He just wanted to be honest with her. Maybe this wasn’t his best interest and maybe this wasn’t an ideal situation but he was learning to let it all go and just talk this time. He wanted her to understand and Jo deserved that. Nodding his head, he wanted Jo involved in all of this now. He wanted Jo to be apart of his recovery now that he knew he would be okay and she wouldn’t miss out on anything else because Alex doesn’t want that either. He wants her there. “Of course, I want you there Jo. I am sorry for leaving the way I did, I kind of panicked I guess you can say and didn’t really know what I was doing at the time. But now I know what I’m doing and I know I was dumb. So I’m sorry. Really. All that happens, you are involved now.”

Alex was exhausted and just wanted to lay down and with his arms around her and backing into the bed and laying down and she was beside him, Alex can’t help but chuckle at her words. “I am holding you to that. Just right now, I am so exhausted and I’m sorry. I know I am just getting back here, but I need a nap. So see you when I wake up in a little bit?” He presses a soft kiss onto her head and his hand was rested on her back and before he knew it, sleep took over and his body was finally relaxed after being tense for a while.

[vole-mon-amour]

Okay, so...

I'm not you Mary.

Is this supposed to point us in the right direction of James confusing Maria with Mary and to show that his mind is dealing with the murder of his wife? Why the long hallway though? Does it represent the way James killed Mary or it just happened to be in a long hallway and that he did, actually, kill Mary? That he's the reason she's dead before her time, thus stabbing and dying right in front of him, with him unable to help her?

"If you want me to be." So basically, again, his mind has created her this way. Mary was sick, bed ridden, ugly in his eyes, barely recognizable, thus this sexy version of his dead wife?

What I also find interesting is that Mary looks so... simple? Born and raised Christian, poor, taught not to show her body, not to be bold? Like, her design is the opposite of Maria's. Makes me wonder whether a part of him was regretting he didn't go for someone more bold, at least at that point. Because, in general, he seems to be pretty... i want to say "timid", but mostly neutral? How it was explained to me, he barely acts out. But then he doesn't care whether he lives or dies, or if Silent Hill is dangerous, which he says at the very beginning of the game. And then he runs around and kills monsters like it's the most natural thing in the entire world.

The "Don't you want to touch me?" as in James visiting Mary in the hospital, seeing all the healthy nurses, seeing the women around, fantasizing because he's touch starved and misses sex, but is also conflicted because Mary is there and she's his wife, and he's supposed to be there for her and not thinking about cheating? Which his subconsciousness clearly punished him for that, judging by what's going on in the city for him.

Plus, if Maria is supposed to look like a sexual worker from the very start (honestly, the way she talks; the outfit, the tattoo—it's all very loud, as much as I want and respect women wearing whatever they want). The LP that I'm watching also sees Maria as someone who's testing James, wanting for him to say yes to her advances. Which, honestly, seems a good representation of what's going on in James' mind.

Telling Mary in the hospital that he's not giving up, not abandoning her, will try to find a way to help her?

Is this entire scene supposed to push us towards reality?

I'm still confused af, even though I like that prison scene because Maria is so 😍🤤👅. So what if she's not real. Neither are Johnny Silverhand in V's head, nor Handsome Jack in Rhys's head. They're my favourites, therefore I can enjoy Maria as well.

Slay, you creepy thing. Simply a queen.

[beatcroc]

there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y

hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

I am a firm Lion Change hater/blue paladin!Lance truther but also i am almost intrigued by canon Black Paladin!Lance if only because i firmly believe he would still end up being depressed, isolated, and ready to kill himself but without the dead gf ending and within 3 seasons instead of 8.

[bandsandwristbands]

Vent post

[manasurge]

1/3 of the way done of this last page, then I can finally post it all o|-<

[goldkirk]

as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and [checks notes] the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd