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winchesterwild78 · 3 months ago

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A Little Bit Stronger

Master List

Characters: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Language, body image issues, Dean being a dick, John being a dick, angst, light smut, assault

A/N: I was stuck in traffic on my way home today and my playlist started playing the song “A Little Bit Stronger” by Sara Evans, and it got me thinking about a story where the reader had dated Dean for years, they broke up and she’s dealing with the loss of their relationship. She’s learning how to move on, and she’s slowly getting better. Then out of nowhere, the green eyed hunter pops back into her life. Mention of Supernatural characters, but doesn’t follow the timeline.

I’m not sure how long this will be. Maybe a chapter or two, or maybe one really long chapter.

All work is my own, I don’t give permission for it to be taken or posted anywhere else. Feel free to reblog.

Minors DNI 18+

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

You pulled the blanket over your head when your alarm went off. Turning over after turning it off. Not feeling like getting up or going to work. Let’s be honest, you didn’t feel like doing much of anything lately.

Knowing you were going to be late you slowly climbed out of bed.

Getting out of bed used to be so much easier when you had something, well someone to look forward to.

You met Dean Winchester and his younger brother Sam about 10 years ago. They were on a hunt, the same one you were on too.

Of course you’d heard all about the Winchester Brothers. The ones Hell itself couldn’t hold. They were feared and respected in the hunter community.

You remember the night you met them, like it was yesterday. That was the night you fell in love with Dean. You were pretty sure he had fallen in love too, even if he wouldn’t admit it.

You were working on clearing a vampire nest, when these two giants came in and tried to take over.

You and Dean lunged at each other, both thinking the other was a vampire. Dean’s machete swiped against your collarbone, causing a gash to appear, and you to pass out.

“Dean, she’s not a vamp. Stop! You’re going to kill her!” You remember Sam yelling before you passed out.

Before Dean got that slice in, you were holding your own against him.

You woke up a few hours later to the soft whispers of the brothers, and the hum of an air conditioner.

When you went to sit up, you realized you didn’t have a shirt on. Just your bra. Grabbing the blanket and holding it up, you looked at the brothers. “What happened, where am I, and who the hell are you?”

Sam offered a soft smile, Dean sat with a tight jaw. “I’m Sam and that’s my brother Dean. You’re at our hotel. We brought you here to patch you up. When you and Dean were fighting, his machete cut you pretty bad. You passed out from blood loss, so we brought you here.”

Your eyes blinked a few times before talking, “You’re Sam and Dean Winchester?!” The boys exchanged a quick glance. Sam questioned, “So you’ve heard of us. Which means you’re either a monster, demon or hunter.”

“I’m Y/N, a Hunter. My parents were hunters and used to hunt with Bobby and Rufus. I grew up in this life, like you guys did.”

“Well, Y/N. It’s nice to meet you. I have to ask though, why are you hunting alone?”

“Oh, my parents retired so to speak and are living a quiet life together, my brother is married, with kids and a “normal” life. My boyfriend and I just broke up.”

You noticed the older Winchester kept his distance and his eyes locked on you. When you mentioned a boyfriend his jaw tensed more. Normally when someone is staring you down it makes you uncomfortable, but with him it made your heart race and your cheeks flush.

You’d occasionally make eye contact with him and you were completely mesmerized by his piercing green eyes. He would shift in his chair anytime you looked at him or bit your lip.

“Well thank you guys for patching me up. I need to get going though. Where’s my shirt?” That’s when you realized your pants were gone too. “And where are my pants?!” Panic filled your body.

Did they take advantage of you? Sam and Dean saw your panic. That’s when the eldest Winchester spoke. His voice was gruff and sent a shiver through you.

“Hey, calm down sweetheart, your shirt was ripped and covered in blood, your pants were too. We didn’t think you’d want to sleep in clothes covered in blood.”

Embarrassment rushed through you. “Yeah you’re right, sorry. I’ve just met my fair share of bad people. I didn’t mean to accuse either of you of anything.”

Dean stood and stepped closer to you, “it’s okay. Just know we would never hurt you.”

You were lost in each other’s eyes when Sam broke the silence by clearing his throat. “Guys I’m gonna grab some food. I’ll be back soon. Y/N, you like burgers?” “Yes, that sounds great. Thank you.” You softly smiled.

Sam left, closing the door behind him. Leaving you and Dean in the room together. The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes. Then you broke the silence, “Um, Dean. I really need some clothes. I can’t just walk around in my bra and panties. I don’t want to traumatize you or Sam.” You chuckled softly, but you meant it.

Sam and Dean were good looking and you’d heard about “Dean’s type”. You were far from it. Where he liked thin, flat stomach, busty women, you had a stomach, extra weight in places, you were thicker than most, and your breasts were slightly different sizes.

Dean looked at you, tilted your chin slightly and whispered “You could never traumatize me.” Red filled your cheeks and you bit your lip.

Was Dean Winchester really flirting with you? Most definitely not. Maybe he just sees you as an easy screw, cause you’d give in to him in a heartbeat, but you’d never been a love them and leave them person.

You pulled the sheet up more and tried to look away. Dean kept his hand on your chin, “I’m so sorry I hurt you sweetheart. I would have never hurt you if I knew you weren’t a monster.”

Feeing brave you stood up, sheet still around you, you touched his cheek, “I know Dean. It was an accident. I do still need some clothes though. Maybe a shower too.”

Before your brain could process what was happening, Dean leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your lips. “So beautiful” he whispered. “Come on, let’s get you in the shower. You can borrow some of my clothes.”

Your mind was racing. Dean Winchester just kissed you. What the hell was going on?!

Your heart was pounding in your chest and ears as Dean grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the bathroom.

“Dean I can do this myself, I’m not that injured.” You tried to protest. “I know, but where’s the fun in that.” He winked at you.

Holy shit! Dean is flirting with me and that kiss oh my god. I never thought a single kiss could make me instantly wet.

You smirked at Dean, “What’s your plan Mr Winchester?” “Whatever you want Ms Y/L/N. I know what I want, but it’s up to you.”

“Dean I don’t know what to say. I’m not like the women you’re usually with. I can’t do one night stands.”

Dean stepped closer to you and pulled the sheet away, your breath quickened. He leaned down and crashed his lips to yours. Pulling your body flush to his. Your hands went behind his neck and into his hair. Moaning in his mouth you felt your body responding to his touch.

When his lips pulled back he said “Then don’t.”

That night Dean and you had sex in the shower, on the bed and the couch. You stayed with the boys after that. Your relationship with Dean deepened.

About three years ago you and Dean were talking about how your parents were able to get out of the life and live normally. You explained to Dean it was a hard process and one that took a lot of work on their part. They eventually made it.

Laying in Dean’s arms was your favorite place to be. Your head was on his chest and he mindlessly ran his fingers up and down your arm.

“I love you baby. So much. Marry me?” You gasped softly and leaned up, “Dean, do you mean it?” “Yes, sweetheart. I want to marry you and have children with you. If your parents could do it, I’m sure we can too.”

Tears streamed down your face, “Yes, Dean. I’ll marry you.” Dean pulled you into a kiss. When you leaned back he slipped a small diamond on your finger. “It’s beautiful, baby.”

He kissed you again. The past few years with Dean had been amazing. You both learned to navigate your love while you hunted side by side. Sam had found someone too, Eileen. She was his perfect match. The four of you were great together.

There was however one obstacle in your life, John Winchester. You’d met John a few times over the years, and each time the tension was palatable. You tried your best to charm him and get him to approve of your relationship, but he refused. He said you were nothing but a distraction and a way for Dean to pass the time after a hunt. The words hurt, but nothing could prepare you for what was to come.

The morning after Dean proposed, he called Sam and told him he finally did it. Sam and Eileen were over the moon. Then came the phone call that scared you the most. Dean had to call his father.

Dean sat beside you on the couch and called John. “Hello, Dean.” John’s gruff voice boomed through the line. “Hey dad, I need to tell you something.” “Dean if you’re about to tell me you fucked up and got Y/N pregnant I’ll beat your ass.” Dean’s eyes went wide, “What?! No, dad, she’s not pregnant.” You scoffed when you heard that. “Well, then what is it son?” “Dad, I asked her to marry me. She said yes. We’re getting married.”

There was silence on Dean’s end of the phone. The only sound was your heart pounding in your ears.

You reached for Dean’s hand and he pulled away, getting up. He started pacing the room, his jaw tight with anger and frustration. You knew John was saying something to him, because he was nodding and would occasionally let out a “Yes, sir.”

It seemed like hours before Dean hung up. When he hung up he looked tense. “Dean, what did he say?” “Don’t worry about it.” He snapped. You flinched at his tone. Dean had never spoken to you like that before.

You looked down at your lap and fidgeted with your hands, “Okay, Dean.” He stormed outside and slammed the front door behind him, making you jump. You were determined to find out what happened, and if Dean wouldn’t talk to you, then you’d go straight to the source.

Taking out your phone you dialed John’s number. A few rings later John answered, “What do you want, Y/N?” “Well hello to you too, John. I wanted to know what you said to Dean. He was mad and left.” “Good, he came to his senses. Look, you’re a nice girl, but you’re not right for Dean. He doesn’t really love you. The only woman he’s ever loved was Lisa. She’s a better match for him than you could ever be.”

Your breath caught in your throat, he’d never mentioned Lisa. “John, why are you so cruel? Dean loves me and we are getting married, whether you like it or not.” John laughed and you growled in frustration. “Keep thinking that, sweetheart. I need to go. Have a nice life, Y/N.”

He hung up and you were fuming.

You tried to call Dean but he didn’t answer. As the night wore on you slipped further into despair. Did Dean leave me? Was John telling the truth about Lisa, and does Dean really still love her? Why won’t he come home?

You softly cried until the tears wouldn’t fall. You curled up on the couch and fell asleep. Around daybreak you heard Dean stumble in. You sat up looking at Dean. He was drunk, and you noticed the faint smell of perfume and you saw a hickey on his neck.

“Dean, where have you been? I’ve been worried sick.” “Aww don’t be like that sweetheart, I was just having some fun. It’s been too long since I had any fun.” Your heart clenched at his words. “Dean, I don’t understand. What’s going on with you? You left without saying a word, came home drunk, smelling like another woman and you have a hickey. I thought you loved me, wanted to marry me.”

“Well you thought wrong. I was wrong. This (he motioned between the two of you) was fun while it lasted, but I think it’s time to move on.” You sat stunned, speechless. “Dean, you don’t mean that. You’re drunk and not thinking clearly.” “No sweetheart, that’s where you’re wrong again, I’m thinking very clear. You were right all those years ago, you aren’t my type. I mean maybe if you lost a little weight and actually tried to be pretty.”

You let out a gasp, and before you knew it you slapped him across the face. Your heart broke. “Dean, why are you doing this? What the hell happened?” “I’m finally thinking clearly, my dad reminded me that I’m truly in love with Lisa and she’s the mother of my child, Ben. I owe it to them to make it work.”

“Dean, please don’t do this. How can you just walk away from us?” “Easy, I’m packing and moving in with Lisa and my son. I spent last night with her and it felt good to be back in her arms.” You felt sick to your stomach.

Dean walked into your shared room and grabbed his duffel bag and started packing. You sat on your bed and watched him pack, silent tears falling. With each item he packed your heart broke more. As Dean put the last thing in his bag he glanced over at you. With a tremble in your voice you tried one last time, “Dean please don’t walk away from us. I love you, and I know you love me. Please don’t do this. We can figure this out.”

Dean just looked at you and grabbed his bag. You followed him to the door, “Dean, before you go, here.” You slid the ring off your finger and handed it to him. His eyes filled with sadness as more tears fell from yours. “I’ll always love you, Dean.”

He turned and walked out the door. You collapsed on the floor.

It was 3 years ago today that Dean Winchester broke your heart. You’re slowly getting better, but days like today, anniversary days are hard. You moved in with your parents temporarily, got a pretty good job working at the office your brother worked at, and now you had your own place.

As you opened your closet to get dressed for work you glanced over and saw the t-shirt Dean loaned you the first night you met. Your fingers lightly brushed over the fabric and the happier memories came flooding back.

You’d kept in touch with Sam and Eileen. They had since gotten married and had a little boy. They left hunting and Sam went back to law school, becoming a lawyer. You’d occasionally ask about Dean, and Sam would tell you he was okay. You also found out that John had died in a car accident about a year ago. You knew Dean would have been devastated.

You got to work about 10 minutes late. Sitting at your desk your mind wandered to the thought of Dean. You missed him so much, but with each passing day you got a little bit stronger. You knew you’d never fully get over him. He was the love of your life and you were supposed to marry him and have his children. Now he’s in the arms of another woman.

Your friend from work, Libby invited you to the bar with her and a few other colleagues. It was Friday and it had been a long week. At first you weren’t going to go, but decided to drink until you forgot him. You went home after work, changed and caught an Uber to the bar.

You decided to wear your jeans, low heel boots and a nice top that revealed just enough. You put your hair up in a messy bun and applied some light makeup. Stepping out of the Uber you saw Libby at the door. “Hey, Y/N! So glad you could make it.” She pulled you into a hug.

You and the rest of the people in your group settled at a table at the back of the bar. Drinks flowed and you were starting to get tipsy. One of your male colleagues, Ryan, came out too. He’d flirted a few times with you, but you never gave in. You, Libby and a few other girls got up and started dancing. Libby leaned into you and said “Don’t look now, but Ryan is watching you.” You glanced over and he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You smiled at him. “Yeah, I don’t know.” “Come on girl, it’s been 3 years. You can move on.” You hadn’t thought about Dean all night, now he’s all you could think about.

“I’m, um, gonna get some air.” Libby nodded sadly. She knew how much you had loved Dean and how much it broke your heart. You grabbed your jacket and walked outside. Taking out your phone you scrolled through the pictures of you and Dean. You sighed sadly, “I miss you so much Dean. I miss how happy we were, how in love we were. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you.”

Tears started to flow freely.

You stood outside a few minutes longer looking at the pictures of a happier time. The sound of a voice pulled your attention up. “Hey ya sweetheart.” That voice, you knew that voice. You looked up and saw Dean standing in front of you. He looked good. You were speechless.

“How are you? You look good, sweetheart.” “Dean…I…” Your words stuck in your throat. He stepped closer to you, and his thumb brushed your cheek. “Still as beautiful as ever.”

Fury filled your body after what he said, “Dean, what are you doing here?” You stepped away from him. “I was here at the bar tonight with some work buddies and I saw you. I needed to talk to you. It’s been too long.”

You scoffed, “It’s been too long?! Dean, you’re the one who walked away, not me. You threw our relationship away. You proposed and then the next day you slept with another woman and left me for her. Oh and let’s not forget I found out you had a kid I didn’t know about. I heard you were engaged again, Congratulations. I hope you and Lisa have a wonderful life together.”

You started to walk away, but Dean grabbed your arm, “Baby, please.” You tried to free yourself from his grip, “Don’t baby me. You lost that privilege when you chose another woman over me. It’s taken me 3 years to finally get to where I am. I don’t cry myself to sleep every night, and I don’t question my worth as much anymore. I was doing all of that because of YOU! I gave you everything, EVERYTHING! I loved you. I wanted to marry you and have your children. Goodbye, Dean.”

As you started to walk away you glanced at him one last time, “Just so you know Dean, I still love you. I wish I didn’t, but I will always love you.” You walked away, heading towards the bar so you could get your Uber. You needed to get away from Dean. Just being near him made your heart clench with pain and love.

Dean stood frozen, he had been keeping a secret from you he desperately needed you to hear, but would you listen? Would you really care?

Just as you reached the door, Dean grabbed your arm, “Y/N, please I need to tell you something.” You turned and looked into his green eyes, you saw pain, sadness and love. “Y/N, I love you sweetheart, I was a fool to push you away. I want to come home to you. Please baby.” You’d waited 3 years to hear him say that, but your heart was scared. You wanted him to profess his love to you, but was he being genuine? You were afraid what would happen if he wasn’t, you couldn’t bear to get over him again.

“Dean, it’s too late. You’re in love with Lisa, she’s your fiance and had your son. I can’t and I won’t compete with that.” He stepped closer to you, “Sweetheart, she’s not my fiance, we broke up, and Ben isn’t mine. She said he was, but he isn’t. I ended things with her because I realized I wasn’t in love with her. There’s been only one woman in my life that I truly loved, well love. Because I still do. I love you.”

“Dean, I don’t know what to say. You said some really horrible things to me.” “I know, but I knew if I didn’t you wouldn’t let me go. I’m so sorry. I‘ll spend the rest of my life trying to fix this, fix us.” “Then why did you do it, Dean?”

“When I talked to my dad that day he played into my fears, my fears of losing you, of our children having to grow up without you or me. He also told me it was safer with Lisa and that Ben was mine. I’m sorry sweetheart, I believed him. My life has been miserable the past three years. There hasn’t been a single second where I didn’t think of you.”

You scoffed, “Then why did it take you three years?! If you were that miserable, why did you warm her bed for three years, while mine was cold? Dean, I can’t do this. Please just let me go.” You turned as the tears started to fall.

Making your way to the front of the bar, you called an Uber and waited out front for it. Standing outside waiting, Ryan came out of the bar to talk to you. “Hey, Y/N, leaving so soon?” “Yeah, I’m just tired and need to go home.” Ryan touched your arm, “Hmm that’s a shame. I was hoping to have gotten at least one dance with you.” You smiled softly as a blush filled your cheeks.

Ryan was a good looking man, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t fantasized about him. Maybe it was the raw emotions you were feeling, or the bravery brought on by the alcohol, but you leaned into Ryan and placed a kiss on his lips. He pulled you closer to his body and his hands went in your hair, deepening the kiss. You moaned into his mouth.

As the Uber pulled up you and Ryan climbed in. Not able to keep your hands off each other. Once in the car, Ryan started kissing your neck. You leaned your head back and as you looked out the window you saw Dean standing on the sidewalk with a look of shock and sadness on his face.

A few minutes later you and Ryan were walking into your apartment. The two of you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Clothes began to fly and hands roamed. You moaned into his mouth as his body hovered over yours. You hadn’t had sex with anyone since Dean.

Trying to push Dean out of your mind you decided sex with Ryan would help. As things heated up between you and Ryan, you grabbed a condom from the side table. Ryan slid it on and pushed in. You gasped at the feeling. He definitely didn’t give you time to be ready or adjust like Dean did. Ryan was rushing, you tried desperately to chase your release, but it felt like Ryan was only concerned with him. Stop! Stop comparing him to Dean! He’s not Dean, he will never be Dean.

Tears began to fall. You were about to tell Ryan to stop, but his lips crashed on yours in a forceful kiss. He wasn’t gentle at all. His thrusts were hard and angry. You weren’t enjoying yourself. Trying to slip your hand between the two of you, so you could get off, proved to be the wrong move. Ryan became angry, “What the fuck are you doing?!” “I’m trying to get off too.” “No! You don’t get to touch yourself. I’ll get you off.” “Well, you’re not going to fucking me like you are.” Ryan slapped you across your face.

You screamed in pain and tried to push him off of you. “Get the fuck off of me!” “No! You don’t get to start this then tell me to stop.” “The fuck I can’t! Get the fuck off NOW!” Just as you were about to knee him, you felt Ryan being pulled away.

When you looked up you saw Dean, he pulled Ryan off of you and punched him over and over. “She said get off of her! Don’t you ever fucking touch her again or I’ll kill you! Now get the fuck out!” Dean growled.

You’d grabbed the sheet and pulled it around you. Ryan grabbed his stuff and left calling you a whore under his breath. As soon as he was gone Dean was at your side, “Are you okay, sweetheart? Did he hurt you?” The tears started to flow freely as Dean pulled you into his arms. His sweet, protective arms. You buried your face in his chest and cried as he held you. “I’m sorry Dean. I left with him to make you jealous. This is all my fault.”

“No baby, this isn’t your fault. You’re okay now, he’s gone.” “And you’re here. Protecting me like always.” “I’ll always protect you, sweetheart. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up and in bed.”

Dean helped you up and you went to the bathroom to clean up and check your face. There would be a bruise, but things could have been so much worse. You got cleaned up and dressed, when you walked back into your bedroom, you saw Dean laying on your bed with his boxers on and nothing else. “Come on sweetheart, get some sleep. I’ve got you.” He offered his arm and you curled up next to him. You laid on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart as you drifted off to sleep.

When Dean was sure you were asleep, he placed a soft kiss on your head, “I love you, Y/N. I’m so sorry.”

Part 2…..coming soon

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#hes gorgeous #so damn sexy #dean x reader #dean winchester smut #dean winchester #dean winchester x plus size!reader #dean winchester x reader

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comically-callous · 11 months ago

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Hey! Can I request a Willy Wonka x reader? I don’t know if you’ve ever read the Anne of green gables series but there’s a dialogue where Anne tells Gilbert “I don't want sunbursts or marble halls, I just want you.” and if you can, can you put that in with fem reader saying this to Wonka when he’s worried he won’t be able to make it big from just starting out and providing for them with all his setbacks and of course it’s all fluff and soft?

"Yes anon." The fanfic writers all say in unison.

Willy Wonka x gn!Reader (Wonka 2023)

A/n: Since Valentine's day is coming up, I sort of made this post themed around that. My requests are open 🤠

Willy had been very self conscious lately. Which was not something he was very used to feeling.

It all started one day when he'd overheard a couple men having a conversation on the street. They were talking about the lavish gifts they planned to give their wives for Valentine's day. Diamond rings, expensive dinners, personalized portraits, on and on.

Before then, he'd had no problem with his plan of giving you flowers, chocolate, and a card. But, now? That felt like nothing compared to what other guys were doing for their significant others.

His insecurity grew from there. His chocolate business had only just started out, but he felt like he wasn't making enough money. That's why he couldn't get you a fancy gift. And if he couldn't get you a fancy gift then how would he ever be able to even support you? You'd never want to marry him if he couldn't support you.

His insecurities snowballed until he was absolutely dreading February 14.

The day arrived and saying Willy was nervous to see you was an understatement.

The two of you had agreed to meet at your house. He knocked on the door, his heart racing and his hands feeling a bit sweaty. When you opened the door he swallowed nervously.

You smiled at him sweetly. "Hi, Willy!" You wrapped your arms around him in a hug and he relaxed a bit. "Happy Valentine's day!"

"Yeah, happy Valentine's day."

You pulled back from the hug and led him inside. "Can I give you your gift first?" You asked excitedly.

"Uh- Sure. Yeah." He sat at your kitchen table and watched as you left the room, seemingly to retrieve the gift.

"Close your eyes." You instructed. He did as you asked. After a moment he felt your presence behind him as you put your arms over his shoulders to hold something in front of him.

"Now open."

He opened his eyes.

In front of him was a framed picture. It was his favorite picture of the two of you. When it had been taken, Willy insisted that you kept it.

"I made the frame myself." You said with a proud smile. "Turn it around." He flipped the frame to see a heartfelt love poem on the back.

"This is amazing." He gushed, smiling as you sat next to him at the table. "Thank you." He pecked your cheek and you giggled.

The sweet moment was soured a bit when he realized he had to give you your gift now.

He handed you the bag your gift was in mumbling a quick "It's not much." as you eagerly looked inside.

First, you pulled out the chocolates. They were in a heart shaped box with a card attached.

You read the card before opening the box of chocolate.

"About half of them are your favorites, and the other half are ones I think you'd really enjoy." He says as you popped one into your mouth and let out a satisfied hum.

"I'm sure I'll love them all." You said as you reached into the bag and pulled out the bouquet he'd gotten you.

"I grew those for you."

"You grew these for me?" You repeated, astonished he'd put in that much work for you. "Willy, I love them!"

"You don't have to say that." He shakes his head.

You tilt your head, confused. You gently put the flowers on the table with your chocolates. "What do you mean?"

"You don't have to pretend you love the gift." He shrugged. "I know you've probably gotten flowers and chocolate dozens of times before, and I know it's not extravagant or-"

"Willy." You say his name softly. He gives his attention to you. "Why would I not love this gift? You made me my favorite chocolate! You grew me flowers! That's so romantic!"

"But..." He trailed off, looking away nervously.

"But, what?" You asked.

He paused. "It's not expensive, or fancy, or... Any of that stuff."

"Why would I care about that?"

"Because-" He felt tears begin to well up in his eyes. "Because if I can't even give you a nice gift how am I supposed to buy you a wedding ring, or a house, or pay rent? How am I supposed to take care of you?"

You blinked. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. You'd never heard him be this distressed over anything.

After a moment, you gently cup his cheek with your hand. He gazes at you with his big, brown eyes that are wet with tears and it breaks your heart a bit. "Willy... I don't want sunbursts," you say. "I don't want marble halls," you continue. "I don't want diamonds, or pearls, or any of that!" You pause. "I just want you."

Willy's speechless. He stares at you for a moment and then his lips crash into yours.

The two of you share a sweet kiss for a long moment until you break away. "I love you, okay?" You assure him softly.

He nods, a small smile on his lips. "Okay." He says. "I love you too."

#x reader #fanfiction #wonka 2023 x reader #wonka x reader #willy wonka x reader #willy wonka fanfic #wonka fanfic

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vuelode-irbis · 6 months ago

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Little thing I made for the anniversary of my cat's death. Every year I wanted to make something for her, but I could never think of anything, I had this dream some days ago and I decided that was it. I learned the lesson long ago, and I'm glad I could combine it in a comic.

I drew many cats, hehe, drawing them my whole life with her being my favorite model has brought me to this moment and I think that's great.

The ID is in ALT but I'll put it below a cut here + a bonus image of the last page in which my cat is not transparent, since I remembered how much I liked her pelt while painting it.

[ID:

Two drawings made with watercolor texture. The first one shows a white cat nursing five kittens that were just born, they're all close to her belly: two white ones, a black and white one, a completely black one and a tortoiseshell with white paws and nose. Text above reads: "I dreamt that you were born again. You and your whole litter". The second drawing shows two hands holding the tortoiseshell kitten, which is asleep. Text above says "I was very happy because I'd be able to look out for you like I couldn't when I was six years old".

Two drawings with a harsher texture. First one shows the palm of a hand, empty, with a grey cloud as background. The text above this reads: "I realized when I woke up". The drawing below shows a person sitting down in their bed, their hair messy, looking down at the plushes in the bed: a white cat holding a red heart, a black-footed ferret, a plant cell and a tortoiseshell cat with white nose and paws. The text says: "That kitten wasn't you".

The first drawings casts a plush cat, tortoiseshell with white paws, belly and nose, she has green eyes and a name plate with the shape of a heart that reads "Manchitas", she also has her toy tag behind her hind leg. The text reads: In esence, it was you, Nepabla, but that was not your pelt, but Manchitas'". The drawing below is a table with some keys, headphones and the photo of a cat lying down in the grass, her pelt is black, grey and brown and she has white legs and muzzle. Text above this says: "That was dissapointing, it's been a while since I last dreamt of you, even though I remember you everyday".

The drawing above shows two cats, one black with green eyes, looking up at the viewer, and a slender, tortoiseshell-and-white one also with green eyes, this one is looking at something in front of her. The text says "I don't believe dreams have a meaning, but if I had to interpret this one,"

The drawing below shows the same person from before, walking in the street and running into a white cat with long fur, which looks a little dirty and is rising their tail. The person stops to pet them, smiling. Text above continues "I'd say I do have the opprtunity to take better care of all the cats I haven't owned yet, although they're not you".

A single drawing that shows the legs of the person, in which a ghostly cat is rubbing herself against. This cat, Nepabla, is the one from the photo: a black, grey and brownish one with white legs, belly and muzzle. She lifts her front legs as she rubs herself in my legs and her tail is up. There's text above and below that reads "And you will be with me even though I can't pet you anymore. I miss you".

End ID.]

I really liked her pelt, her name is an acronym for Black with White Paws in Spanish because that's what my father said she looked like when she was born, but as she grew her pelt showed itself and we relized whe was not entirely black lol. I also really loved how not all of her legs were equally white, me and my brother would say she had a shoe, a long sock and two boots.

[ID: the same drawing from the last panel, except the cat is not transparent. End ID]

#irbis draws #art #digital art #comic #comics #cats #cat #nepa #cw implied animal death #implied animal death #pet loss #tw pet death #tw pet loss

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hyunjinners · 1 month ago

Text

✧:･ﾟLet the Rain Wash Away → Yang Jungwon x reader ˚₊· ꒰🌦️꒱

꒰ 命 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ꒱┊ she needed some time to herself, but Jungwon reminds her that she will never be alone.

꒰ 命 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ꒱┊ Yang Jungwon x fem!reader

꒰ 命 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 ꒱┊ pain to comfort, sad thoughts, Jungwon comforting reader, happy ending.

꒰ 命 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ꒱┊ self-deprecating thoughts (?), can be read as Jungwon friend or boyfriend. English is not my first language! I apologize in advance for any spelling and/or grammatical errors.

꒰ 命 𝐖.𝐂 ꒱┊1,02k

꒰ 命 𝐀/𝐍 ꒱┊ I'm having writer's block, so I made something short. Enjoy reading! :) 🤍

⊹₊˚ʚ❛masterlist❜ɞ

A tired sigh leaves my lips as I finally sit down on the bench I spent several minutes searching for. The square is empty because of the heavy rain that has been falling all day.

I rest the umbrella on the edge of the bench to my right, feeling the thick drops bathe my entire body. I don't care about my soaked clothes or the possibility of catching a cold.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It seems that when I’m alone, all my senses are heightened: the rain beating heavily on the leaves of the trees, the smell of the earth that inevitably settles in the air. Many people hate the rain and often associate it with bad things—perhaps because it’s cold, lonely, and, well... wet.

But for me, the sound of rain is one of the best white noises to listen to in moments of stress. I think rain is necessary. Without it, many of the flowers and green plants people love to admire on sunny days wouldn’t have life. They would wither in the heat. It’s cold, but necessary. It’s wet, but just right.

Someone passing by might find me strange right now. I probably look like a lunatic or a pothead. But I’m just lonely. Maybe that’s why I love the rain so much—it gives me the chance to take time for myself, to free my mind from worries, and to focus solely on my inner self.

I’ve never had time to truly pay attention to myself because I was always busy putting on a facade to please the people around me. A girl who is always happy, friendly, polite, and intelligent. But I’m not just that.

I’m fragile, insecure, fearful, and, surprisingly, not that intelligent. Yet I can’t be myself outwardly, because the people I admire most might turn away from me, disappointed.

One thing I’ve realized in these moments of self-reflection is that fear paralyzes us. I’m so afraid of exposing how I feel, of being who I really am, that I can’t fully live. My thoughts feel disorganized, so I can’t bring myself to share them with the world.

Sometimes, I just wish I could retreat from society to sort out my emotions and understand myself as a human being. This is definitely one of those times.

Everything became too much for me—my studies, my family, the people I thought were my friends. I couldn’t handle it anymore, so I grabbed my umbrella and got on the first bus that appeared. It brought me to this beautiful square full of trees and vibrant flowers. Even in the rain, I admired it.

I had no strength left for anything else, so I let the rain wash away my silent tears. It was all I needed—to cry.

I tried to hold back the sobs, but everything I’d been bottling up for days, even weeks, finally poured out. As the minutes passed, I felt a little short of breath, but my chest grew lighter. My mind went blank, and I thanked God for the silence around me.

For a while, I kept my eyes closed, until I realized the rain was no longer falling on me, though I could still hear it. When I lifted my head, I met the sweetest, most concerned eyes I’d ever seen.

Jungwon was holding an umbrella over us, panting as though he’d run a marathon. I wanted to lower my head and pretend nothing was happening, but I couldn’t tear my gaze from his delicate, beautiful features.

His eyes captivated me in a way no one else’s ever had, and his presence was the greatest comfort I’d ever felt from another human being.

“What are you doing here? I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” he said, his voice breaking with his labored breaths. He quickly recovered and sat next to me. I couldn’t bring myself to answer. Embarrassed, I looked away.

He handed me the umbrella, then took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders.

“Look at you. You’re completely soaked. I hope you don’t catch a cold,” he murmured, taking the umbrella back and pulling me into a gentle sideways hug, letting me rest my head on his shoulder. We stayed like that for a long time, saying nothing. Words weren’t necessary.

“When… when you need to let it all out, you don’t have to run away like this, okay? Call me. No matter what I’m doing, I’ll come to you. And if you really need to escape your problems for a while, I’ll escape with you.” His voice was soft and full of sincerity, bringing tears to my eyes again.

“I’m sorry, Jungwon...” I buried my face in the crook of his neck, clinging to him awkwardly. “I just needed some time away from everything. I’m sorry for making you worry.”

I felt him press a tender kiss to the top of my head as he stroked my hair.

“You don’t need to apologize for being tired. I understand. Everyone needs a break sometimes. I just want you to know you’re not alone, okay? Promise me you’ll reach out to me next time.”

I nodded silently, still hiding my face. Jungwon gently lifted my chin so I’d look at him. His encouraging smile lit up his face, and I couldn’t help but return it, even if mine was smaller.

“I’ll always be here for you. Don’t forget that.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek, a small gesture overflowing with care.

“I’ll never forget. Thank you so much.” I wrapped my arms around him, wishing he could stay by my side forever.

ε ї з — like × reblog! by: @hyunjinners ❜ɞ

ε ї з — taglist: @oc3anfloor

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potterrstar · 5 months ago

Note

Hello!! Idk if you would feel comfortable writing this but would you be able to write something that's a regulus/Sirius x reader love triangle and you can choose who reader ends up with? I mean honestly it can be anyone and Sirius (I am in love with the man). If you don't wish to, I totally understand and hope you have the best of days:) much love ❤️

-🪐

sirius black/regulus black x reader

summary: what can be so bad about starting dating one of the black brothers?

warnings: probably nothing! just slytherin!reader

a/n: hi!! thank u so much for ur request, sorry about the delay, but i hope you enjoy it and also have the best of days! sending lots of love too! 💗 english is not my first language, let me know any mistakes!

───❃•❃•❃───

Lately, it had been raining quite a bit; there was supposed to have been some kind of storm since last week. Regulus could see how the raindrops made water trails on the library window. He listened to the rain showering the castle roof.

He watched as his housemate entered the room, her tie slightly askew and her hair tousled, looking as if she had run all the way there.

Regulus didn't have many friends, to be honest. He believed he didn't need them; after all, they didn't bring him anything. Except for her, a girl he had met in second grade, who, unlike everyone else he knew, he didn't find absolutely and completely unbearable. She could even be kinda nice and a bit pretty, a little.

"Hi! How's it going? Is it difficult?" The girl referred to the herbology homework the younger Black was working on. She took a seat in front of him, placing her things on the table.

"Not really, it's a stupid subject," Regulus replied, focusing his gaze on the parchments in front of him.

"I like it," the girl smiled. "I think it's interesting. Did you know that mandrake is used to cure petrified people?" she commented.

Regulus smiled at her; he really couldn't care less about anything related to herbology, but she cared, so he cared a little too.

"I didn't know that." Of course he knew, but he liked making her think he didn't. He noticed a little sparkle in her eyes whenever he did.

There it was, the sparkle in her eyes. She smiled at him. "I don't think it's as bad as you think; you should give it a chance," she said about the subject.

"I'm not really interested," Regulus turned back to his work.

"Oh," she lowered her gaze until she remembered what her housemates had told her that morning. "Hey! There's a match this afternoon, Slytherin versus Gryffindor. I hope we win!" The girl smiled. "Are you going?" she asked excitedly.

Regulus didn't like those games; he didn't even like half the people who went there. "I don't think so."

"You should, we're sure to win! I heard your brother is playing, I think he's a Beater for Gryffindor." Regulus felt his blood boil.

Regulus never got along well with his older brother. He thought he was arrogant and didn't find him nice at all. He usually didn't care what Sirius thought of him; actually, nothing that came from Sirius Black mattered to him.

"I don't care; he's an idiot." Regulus rolled his eyes.

She really didn't understand why they got along so poorly. When they were in second grade, she thought it was just because they were in different houses, but as they grew older, she realized it wasn't just that—they really hated each other. She never asked Regulus why that was, and she didn't plan on doing so.

As for her, she didn't hate Sirius Black. They had talked a few times in the hallways and when she occasionally visited the Black house since she was friends with the younger brother, so they had a few conversations. She found him nice and really liked the pranks he played with his Marauder friends; she found them funny.

───❃•❃•❃───

With the sky pouring down and the stands painted red and green, the Gryffindor versus Slytherin match began.

The girl was really excited; she loved Quidditch—not to play, of course, but she adored watching it. She loved seeing everyone flying on their brooms, giving their all to represent their house and make it proud. She loved Slytherin and was quite proud to be a snake.

The problem was that Slytherin had been on a losing streak in Quidditch lately, having lost the last two finals—one against Hufflepuff and the other against Gryffindor. She hoped that today she would finally see her teammates in green lift the Quidditch cup.

The match proceeded fairly normally; they were tied at the moment. Slytherin tried to score, but their players were neutralized by the Bludgers sent by the elder Black. Sirius was quite good at playing Quidditch, although it was curious because, as far as she remembered, Sirius didn't usually play Quidditch. She believed he had only signed up this year.

Suddenly, the Gryffindor Seeker, James Potter, caught the Golden Snitch, announcing the victory of the lion house. The green stands booed and deflated with this announcement; it was unbelievable how they had lost three finals.

The girl sighed, waiting for the stands to empty a bit so she could get down without being pushed. Once enough people had cleared out, she descended the stands, running into a couple of Gryffindor players.

"You knocked everyone out, it was incredible, Pads!" said the dark-haired boy with glasses.

"You caught the Snitch; without that, we wouldn't have won!" Sirius replied to the Gryffindor Seeker. Turning around, he saw the Slytherin girl, and a smile formed on his face. "See you later, yeah?" the black-haired boy said goodbye to his friend.

"What's up, pretty? Sad because you lost?" he teased her as he approached.

"Quite, it's a disaster. I don't understand how they let themselves get hit," she rolled her eyes.

"They didn't let themselves get hit; I hit them," Sirius boasted with a smile, a big, white, and perfect smile. She noticed it; she found it attractive.

They started walking, entering the castle. It was dinner time, so they headed to the Great Hall.

"I don't think so. You cheated or something," she laughed.

"Oh yeah? Like the other two times you lost?" Sirius laughed back. There wasn't much to say about it; Slytherin was in decline.

"Well, whatever, I think Quidditch is silly," she lied, rolling her eyes.

"That's not true, you love it. I saw your eyes sparkle from the pitch," he confronted her.

"As if you could see my eyes from the pitch, it's too far," she accused.

"Not far enough to miss you," Sirius said suggestively. The Slytherin girl felt a shiver run down her neck.

"Don't be ridiculous." She laughed a little nervously. Just then, they passed by the Herbology classroom, and a lightbulb went off in her head, remembering she needed wormwood to finish her homework.

"Wait! I need to collect a plant for my Herbology homework," she announced to the Gryffindor.

"Are you kidding?" the boy followed her. "You like Herbology?" he asked the Slytherin.

"Uh, yes, a bit," she murmured. "I know it's a stupid subject, but I find it interesting," she said while picking leaves from the plant.

"Stupid?" Sirius frowned. "Why would it be? I mean, I don't like it much, to be honest, but that doesn't make it stupid. If you find it interesting, it must be fun," he gave her a genuine smile.

"You think so?" she returned his smile, hopeful.

"Of course," he helped her carry the leaves. "I like Transfiguration," he commented.

"Really? I don't like it… it's not that i hate it! I find it amazing, I'm just not very good at it," she laughed a little.

"Well, maybe one day I can teach you Transfiguration, and you can teach me Herbology," he suggested.

"Sounds great," she accepted his plan.

She liked the idea of being able to share what she loved without it sounding like a bother; she often felt that way.

───❃•❃•❃───

Recently, the girl was going out with Sirius, nothing too serious. They went to Hogsmeade for a walk, and Sirius bought her a dittany, which was a plant she adored, so she planted it in the herbology greenhouse.

They also tried to have their little Transfiguration classes, which didn't go very well. (She might have turned a Gryffindor student into a cricket or something like that) But it's the thought that counts!

The girl was now in Divination class with the younger Black.

He took a breath. "Listen, I thought we could go out today. I don't know, maybe go to the Black Lake," he suggested to the girl.

Today? Today she was going to teach Sirius about herbology, though she thought that she hadn't spent much time with Regulus lately, and she enjoyed doing so.

The girl used to have a crush on Regulus some time ago. She never told him, but she was certain that he knew; there was no way he couldn't have noticed. She was far too obvious for him not to figure it out. But just like her, he never said a word, so eventually, the girl tried to mitigate the feeling.

He never did anything to make it clear that he liked her.

"Uh sure, sounds good," she accepted her housemate's invitation.

Of course, she wanted to see Sirius, but despite everything, Regulus was her best friend, and they hadn't hung out for a couple of weeks. Besides, it was just Regulus; he wouldn't hurt her. She could talk to Sirius later, who didn't seem to mind the fact that the younger ones were best friends. He found it totally strange that someone as sweet as the Slytherin girl would get along so well with someone as repulsive as his brother, at least that's what he thought. But he didn't plan to tell the girl; it wasn't necessary. He knew that she cared about his younger brother, and he wasn't going to get involved in that.

They left their class, heading towards the Black Lake. Their walk was silent; Regulus didn't say a word, and she, for some unknown reason, didn’t feel like talking to him. She didn’t even know what to talk about. After spending so much time with Sirius, she discovered that it was very easy to talk to him; conversations flowed effortlessly. Everything with him flowed effortlessly.

“Are you okay?” Regulus spoke for the first time.

“Of course, why do you ask?” she questioned him.

“You always talk, you talk a lot,” he replied.

“That’s not true.” She rolled her eyes, which made the black-haired boy laugh.

As they laughed, the eldest Black appeared in front of them, bumping into them. Upon seeing him, Regulus instinctively took the girl's hand and intertwined their fingers, which made her frown slightly.

Sirius walked calmly towards the girl, completely ignoring his younger brother.

“Aren’t you going to make it to our little date because of him?” he whispered, though not quietly enough for the boy beside her not to hear, of course.

The older brother walked away from the girl with a smirk, not giving her a chance to respond. He was overly confident, it radiated from him, in fact.

When the Gryffindor was far enough away, Regulus abruptly let go of the girl's hand.

“What the hell is your problem? Why are you going out with my brother?” he yelled at her.

The girl opened her mouth in surprise. “I’m not! I’m here with you, you heard him,” she protested.

“I’m not talking about today. Is this why you haven’t talked to me these past few weeks? Because you’re screwing him?”

“What the hell is your problem?” she repeated. “You have no right to say anything to me, much less treat me like this. What’s wrong with you?”

Regulus was angry. Really angry.

His problem was that, one way or another, he was always going to end up feeling less than him. He hated Sirius, but not as much as he hated the feeling of never being as great as Sirius Black, never being as cool as Sirius Black.

“You can’t date someone like him! You can do better, you know that,” Regulus spat.

She let out a sarcastic laugh. “Better? Better like who? Like you?”

“Definitely,” he retorted.

“Go to hell! I spent years of my life following you around like your damn keychain, hoping you’d realize one day how much I liked you! And you knew! You knew I liked you and you just took advantage of it! And now that I’m finally trying something with someone, you come up with this bullshit?” Now he wasn’t the only one angry.

“It’s not ‘someone’! It’s my brother, my idiot brother. You knew I hated him! How can you believe all his crap in just two weeks!?” Regulus raised his voice.

“Well, in two weeks he showed me he’s better than you could ever be in four years!”

Regulus suddenly leaned forward, getting in her face, which made her back away, scared.

Noticing the girl's expression, Regulus felt as if a bucket of cold water had been poured over his head. She thought he was going to hurt her.

“Hey—listen, I—” Regulus tried to speak.

“Go to hell.” The girl pushed him by the shoulders and walked away, leaving him alone in the middle of the hallway with nothing but the storm of regret thundering in his head.

───❃•❃•❃───

After the fight with Regulus, the girl headed to the covered bridge. She loved it there; almost no one ever came by, it had a beautiful view, and sometimes she felt that even the air was purer, more magical.

She felt really bad and wondered if it was wrong to start dating Sirius. Maybe she shouldn't have; after all, he was her best friend's brother, or at least Regulus was supposed to be.

But Sirius was nice, and not just physically—though he was incredibly good-looking—but he was also pleasant to be around. He understood her and made her laugh. She felt comfortable, like she didn’t have to try so hard to make him like her, as she always did with Regulus.

“You look very mysterious there,” Sirius appeared behind her with a smile, looking at the girl with her arms resting on the bridge.

She laughed, as she always did when he was near.

“I’m thinking about whether I should jump,” she joked.

“Don’t say stupid things,” Sirius laughed too, coming closer to her side.

She smiled at him without saying anything. She wasn’t in a very good mood.

“I guess you fought with my brother,” he said, looking at her.

“It doesn’t matter; it was going to happen sooner or later.” She rolled her eyes.

Sirius sighed. “I don’t know; he’s weird. We don’t get along.”

“Really? You don’t say,” the girl said sarcastically while laughing.

“I’m sorry if he made you feel bad, okay? I doubt he’s aware of what he’s doing.”

“I know, I’m sorry too. We were supposed to go to the Black Lake.” She remembered.

“Yeah... I don’t regret that part.” Sirius glanced away with a chuckle.

“Hey!” She gave him a light hit on the shoulder, scolding him while laughing.

“He’s immature. Why should I be glad you spent time with him when you could have a much better time with me?” He moved closer to her.

“Oh, really?”

“Of course. You know it.” Sirius smiled at her.

“I know you’re a narcissist.” She laughed.

He rolled his eyes, laughing. “You know we have a date pending, right?” He reminded her.

“Mmm, no, I think I’ll tell Regulus to go to the lake instead.” She joked, and he grabbed her by the waist.

“Don’t joke about that.” He said with a smile.

“I’m not joking.” She began to walk away from him, laughing as she freed herself from his grasp.

“Hey!” He called indignantly, catching up and taking her hand.

She turned around and kissed him on the cheek.

“Let’s go to the greenhouse, okay?” She whispered to him. He looked at her, entranced.

“Sure, yeah, of course,” he stammered. The girl laughed at this and led him as they walked.

She hoped there would be a lot to do in the greenhouse so they could spend a lot of time together.

Either way, she was sure they would be spending a lot of time together from now on.

#the marauders #sirius black x reader #regulus black x reader #sirus black #regulus black #the marauders x reader #harry potter #love triangle #request

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neverinsignificant · 7 months ago

Text

How I Am Getting Myself Out of A Funk

This past month, I’ve been in a very terrible funk that has left me with overwhelming stress, an unregulated nervous system, feelings of discomfort (hopelessness, worthlessness, etc…), bloating and a bad case of imposter syndrome. I realize I’ve been wallowing in my own self pity and not taking care of myself the way I should, so I am being honest and admitting that I am scared as to what road my life may take if I do not improve where I know I can by taking the necessary steps. Here’s how I’m getting myself out of this funk:

• Taking my iron medication

I was prescribed medication for my iron deficiency anemia years ago and I haven’t been taking them due to my fear of swallowing pills. I use to let them dissolve in orange juice, but I grew to hate the taste and realized I wasn’t getting the full benefits by doing it this way. I have a complicated history with pills and I would like to get over it by learning & possibly speaking with a specialist who can help me get over my fear as iron has many benefits that would be beneficial to my body.

• Growing comfortable with my therapist

I recently started therapy and as much as I like my therapist, it has been hard to open up to them as much as I’d like. I know it’s because this is a new experience, but once I grow the courage to discuss some of the things I really want, I know my stress levels will decrease and mental health improve because I won’t have to worry about them anymore.

• Cultivating gratitude

I complain…. A lot because if it ain’t one thing, it’s another but by cultivating gratitude, I can practice to be more thankful of what I have and lessen my desire for more and negative thoughts. It will also lead me back to the path of my spiritual journey, which I seem to have slightly abandoned.

• Consume more water

I made a Habits I’m Not Waiting Until January to Implement post back in December where I said this same thing and I wasn’t consistent, but it’s never too late to do so now.

• Working out with positive intentions

Usually when I workout it has been with the intention to develop a certain body type, which lead to me closely examining and prodding at my body in the mirror, but as someone that comes from a family with people who develop physical health issues as they age, it’s important for me to workout simply to remain healthy, especially as I am still young with an able body. Develop stronger knees; hip mobility; straight posture, strength building.

• Breathwork + thought-stopping

This will go hand in hand with meditation. Simply saying “stop” to negative thinking doesn’t usually work for me, but what does is reframing the thoughts I’m having by making a positive light out of it or actively listing solutions. I don’t tend to be consistent with this, but I’ll try.

• Focus on my gut health

Lymphatic drainage by dry brushing, drinking peppermint tea, eating cleaner based foods, consume more fiber-rich foods, cut out gluten, eating more with smaller portions.

• Say “Girl, fuck you”

To people, emotions, circumstances. Simply dismissing the issue has sometimes helped, especially if they’re minor. Living in delusion isn’t always bad.

I’m not a “clean,” health and wellness guru, goop using (whatever tf that is), green juice drinking everyday girl and that’s okay. This is fairly new to me and I didn’t notice the severity of my health until I felt a sharp pain in my chest from stressing. I won’t fully immerge myself in this “aesthetic” as it isn’t in my interest to do so, but I will incorporate some of the habits to my benefits.

“Everyday the sun won’t shine, but that’s why I love tomorrow!” 🌟 -Glorilla

#my post

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asliceofzosan · 1 year ago

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pspsps Zeff meeting Ayari 👀👀👀

oH YOU REALLY DONE DID IT NOW

zeff knows how much sanji loves kids.

he first noticed it when he was roughly turning into a teenager. around the age of 13-14. it isn't often that families come to the baratie. but when they do, sanji actually volunteers to wait tables when on normal understaffed days, zeff would have to drag him out of the kitchen kicking and screaming. he didn't understand it until he decided to watch sanji and everything made sense.

if one is the child of a pirate or a marine, you're bound to be a little fussy (case and point: sanji). and his boy was a natural at calming down fussy babies. those chubby little rascals would immediately stop crying when sanji would pick them up and carry them on his hip, taking everybody's order like usual. the parents would look at him gratefully, even allowing him so far as to let him wait other tables with their baby in his arms.

during sanji's break, he would play with them. if they won't stop crying, he'd ask patty or carne to heat up some milk or mushy vegetables to feed the kid. and more often than not, sanji would sometimes be seen with a sound asleep baby as he barks out the orders to a bewildered kitchen.

zeff asked him once if he wanted a baby sibling. sanji just laughed until his sides hurt.

"you can barely raise me, you old coot." he said in response with a bright grin that reminded zeff how much he loved this kid. "i'm better off as an only child. trust me."

(he does. trust sanji, that is. but he will never forget how his laugh sounded pained. like an echo of a terrible memory. he'll come to realize why after a long while.)

as sanji grew up, his natural gravitation towards children never wavered. in fact, kids often flocked towards him at the baratie, following behind him like little ducklings in a row. sanji's smile was softer on those days, the sparkle in his eyes as prominent as when sanji talks about his beloved all blue. the kids would hang onto his every word.

he doesn't know how qualified he is at knowing good parenting from bad parenting. but he did raise sanji for most of his life. his little eggplant turned out pretty decent by his standards.

so of course, it's a no brainer for zeff that if sanji would one day have his own kid, he'd be the best dad in the world.

"head chef?" patty says as he enters zeff's office. "someone downstairs really wants to meet ya."

"if they want a discount they better fuckin' run." he gruffly replies without looking up from the newspaper. "customer is always right my ass—"

"sir?"

"–and you know what's real upsetting? the fact that they think they're all hot shit! i don't care who you are. you pay to eat here–"

"chef-"

"–would be nice if i didn't get some dumbass like that for once—"

"chef, it's sanji!"

zeff has fought sea beasts, marine fleets, and pirates with a worse death wish than him. he has faced starvation, dehydration, massive bloodloss without batting an eye.

but nothing. absolutely nothing makes his heart jump more than hearing that his son has come home to visit.

"well what the fuck are you doing standing there, patty?" he bellows, standing up and stalking towards the open door. "you better be preparing a feast for my boy."

"actually, he's already in the kitchen cooking one himself."

zeff laughs. that sounds exactly like his boy, alright.

it took zeff all of two seconds to notice that sanji isn't alone.

the swordsman is there, hanging off his shoulder like it's nobody's business (and he's pretty sure sanji mentioned at one point that he had gotten his head out of his ass and finally got together with him. lord was that an ordeal). and it looked normal for a few seconds until sanji turned around to face zeff.

there was a child there.

strapped to sanji's chest with some sort of blanket-like contraption was a baby. it couldn't be more than two years old. its shrieks of delight echoed in the kitchen as it drooled all over sanji's suit. its hair was green – the same shade as that of the swordsman glued to sanji's side. and it was tied up into little pigtails that bounced as it moved.

"zeff!" sanji greeted, that same bright sunny smile plastered on his face. "come meet your granddaughter!"

his... what?

then he looked closer at her and it all made sense.

the curly eyebrows.

but it also made no sense at all. because the longer zeff stared at his granddaughter, the more confused he felt because how in the love of the all blue did sanji get a child that looked exactly like him and his idiot swordsman?

he was so much in his head that he didn't notice sanji take the kid out of her baby sling and hold her out in front of him. he was brought back to reality when one small hand wrapped around the end of his mustache with a continuous giggle. zeff stared at her, his whole world stopped on its axis. he never saw sanji as a baby. he wonders if this is the closest he'll get to experiencing that for the first time...

then the baby pulled on his mustache with a high pitched shriek that could reach the heavens.

"jiji!" the little girl squealed, now holding onto zeff's mustache with two chubby baby hands. zeff stayed rooted to his spot, transfixed by the girl's mere existence. but also there's a stirring in his heart that occurs when she smiles at him. she looks exactly like sanji. though with a lot less teeth.

"would you look at that, old man." zoro laughed as he gently pried his daughter's (????) fingers off of zeff's mustache. "you get her fifth word. congratulations."

on a normal day, (but god what even classifies as normal anymore?) zeff would have probably kicked that swordsman's chest in and sent him flying into the next room. but there's something about the way sanji's smile softens as he watches zoro play with the baby. his eyes mist over and the only reason he probably isn't openly crying right now is because zeff is right there.

there are precious few instances where zeff's seen sanji genuinely happy.

now is one of them.

he coughs roughly to get their attention. all three of them look up, sanji's gaze particularly nervous. but zeff just shook his head, figuring he'll ask all the dumb questions later, and holds his hands out expectantly.

"you gonna let your father hold his grandbaby or or ya just gonna hog her the whole time you're here?"

the laugh that escapes sanji's mouth has both zeff and zoro staring fondly at him. then when sanji transfers his baby girl into zeff's arms, sanji's smile is freer and more open than zeff's seen it in years.

"zeff," sanji says, smoothing down ayari's hair down with one hand, his other hand resting on zeff's bicep. a strong grip. a grounding force. "meet ayari. our little blessing."

ayari coos up at zeff and grabs his mustache again. sanji bends down slightly to rain her little face with a million kisses. zeff just stares at this all with the barest hint of a smile on his face.

yeah. he always knew sanji was gonna be a good dad.

genuinely i am in agony i love this family 😭 do you have any idea how much i was crying while writing this??? is it possible to get baby fever from your own oc zosan baby???

#niki's fics: she has your eyes #one piece #sanji #roronoa zoro #zosan #red leg zeff #niki's asks #oc: roronoa ayari

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stickymolasses · 1 year ago

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NEW SLANG

pairing: harry osborn (marvels spiderman 2 ps5) x reader (no use of y/n, not gendered)

summary: you are a young adult who had to put a pause on your schooling due to unforeseen circumstances. you work at a cotton candy stand on coney island and harry and you chat, perhaps leading to a new beginning for the both of you.

characters: harry osborn, peter parker, mary jane watson

warnings: mention of gambling, writer being stupid :3

an: hello! this is my first fic on this blog. if you like this first chapter let me know and i'll write another one! i have never really written fanfiction on tumblr or at least never uploaded on here but i figured i'd give it a try. i love harry in spidey ps5 so badddd and there just aren't enough fics for him :> be on the lookout for another an at the end of the fic! i don't really know how this stuff works yet but if you're interested in being put on my tags list for this work let me know!

Coney Island was so beautiful at this time of night. The night sky was illuminated with the sparkling shine that the entertainment district gave off. Despite the enchanting scenery, a sense of melancholy enveloped you on this particular night. The realization of your current situation hit home as a teenage girl, clad in an Empire State University sweater, approached your cotton candy stand—a stark reminder of why you were working here.

You could’ve been in her shoes if not for the string of unfortunate events that unfolded in quick succession. Moving out of your aunt and uncle's place had been challenging due to the soaring living costs in New York City. To make matters worse, your ex-lover's reckless gambling had drained your finances, forcing you to put a pause on your education. The dream of becoming a great astronomer remained unfulfilled, and instead, you found yourself working at a shitty cotton candy stand.

Nights like these were bustling, contributing to your current state of dismay. The boardwalk teemed with people, immersed in the company of their significant others and friends—something you currently lacked.

The lingering summer heat made you sweat a little. Adjusting your uniform, you opened the topmost button, and as you looked up, three people stood before you—two redheads and a brunette. "Hi, welcome to Coney Cotton Candy. What can I get for you guys?"

You smile and greet your customers with as much delight as you can conjure. One of the redheads, a very handsome young man, opens his mouth to speak but quickly closes it and furrows his eyebrows instead.

You greeted your customers with a forced delight. The handsome young man among them hesitated before making his order. His friend, addressed as Pete, clarified the order, and the other two in the group walked away, seemingly a couple.

“Alright, can we get three of the little cones?” He fumbled through his wallet, and you noticed his striking green eyes. As you handed back his credit card, his gaze lingered in a way that made your stomach twist.

“Have we met before? I feel like I know you,” he pondered.

“Um, I don’t think so. Maybe you’ve shopped here before?” you suggested, playing it cool.

“Did you go to Midtown High? Or maybe you went to Empire State?” he continued.

“I went to ESU. I couldn't finish my degree, though–unforeseen circumstances,” you replied, throwing up finger quotes. He looked sympathetic, a reaction that both touched and frustrated you.

“I’m sorry, I’ve had some of those lately too. I graduated from ESU in ‘21. What were you studying?” The line behind him grew, and despite wanting to chat further, you had a job to do.

“Astronomy. I’m sorry, but there are customers behind you,” you said, cutting the conversation short. He apologized to the people in line, turning to leave but hesitating for a moment.

“When you get off tonight, come meet me at the Speed Demon!” he called back.

“Please!”

As you continued working, typing into the cash register, and dealing with an impatient mother, you awaited the hour when you would be free.

You sigh, locking the register and slinging your tote bag over your shoulder. The remainder of your shift proved fairly uninteresting after your run-in with the man with pretty green eyes. Walking across the park, you take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the Atlantic. The waves crash on the shore, creating a soothing backdrop to your uncertain life.

When you arrive at the Speed Demon, the designated meeting spot with the intriguing young man from earlier, you find him leaning casually against the head requirement chart.

"How did you know when I got off work?" you question him, suspicion coloring your tone.

"It said the booth closes at midnight on weekends. I only assumed you wouldn’t have to stay much later than that," he replies, eyeing your face and studying your expressions.

"So, why did you want to meet with me?" you inquire again.

“You said you were studying to be an astronomer, right?” he replies, matter-of-factly.

“Yes, but I told you I couldn’t get my degree. I—”

He cuts you off, “It doesn’t matter; are you good at it?”

“I mean, yes, I would hope so. It’s the only thing I’ve ever been passionate about. I wanted to heal the environment, starting with the stars.” He smirks and looks at his feet, shuffling them.

“Well, would you be interested in not working at Coney Cotton Candy? N-Not that this job isn’t worth your time or anything…” He stumbles over his words a little, getting to his point.

“What are you saying?” Your left eyebrow kicks up in curiosity at his remarks.

“I have a startup foundation in Manhattan. I’m trying to gather as many great scientists and innovators as I can. You seem like a great fit, and it could help you finish your studies.” He smiles wide, and you note that his teeth are perfect.

“Why should you hire some person you don’t know? Isn’t that a little bit sketchy?” You place your hands in your thin jacket pockets and fidget around a little bit, thinking. If he is serious about this, you could kiss him. You would rather work any job other than your current one, no matter a real job where you can actually do what you went to school for.

“You just have that look in your eyes; I can see what type of person you are. You want to help people too. We’d still have to do a real interview, of course; I need to make sure you’re qualified.” He laughs, and his eyes sparkle with enthusiasm; he means what he says.

“I guess it couldn’t hurt.” You roll your neck around a few times, tired from a day's work.

He holds his hand out for you to shake it, and you do.

“We are going to heal the world.”

“So, you haven’t even told me your name yet,” he remarks, walking by your side to the subway station.

“I can say the same thing about you, mystery man. If you weren’t so handsome, I would think you were just some creep trying to murder me,” you admit, probably a little bit too honestly.

He gasps and places a hand on his chest, in faux offense. “I would never, and my name is Harry. Harry Osborn.”

You tell him your name, and he repeats it to himself a few times under his breath. “That's a nice name; it suits you.”

He looks at you, as you are examining your feet. You feel his gaze on you but don’t want to scare him away, so you continue to feign interest in the floor.

“What happened to the people you were with earlier? They ditch you?” you ask, curious about the whereabouts of the group he was with earlier.

“I told them I had some work stuff to do, and they didn’t ask many questions. It was date night for them anyway. I was kind of third-wheeling.” He lets out a small laugh at the admission.

The two of you continue to engage in small talk throughout your walk. When you eventually reach your destination, he stops you.

“Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for giving me the time of day. Not just anyone would do that; you said it yourself, I could have been some kind of psycho freak murderer.” He pauses for a second, opening his mouth and closing it again, thinking about his next words. “I have to be honest, I really wanted to talk to you because I thought you were beautiful; it just helped that you were exactly what my startup is looking for.”

You feel heat rising to your face due to his gentle compliment. Since your last relationship, no one had ever called you beautiful; they only ever called you asking for a check. “Thanks, you’re not too bad yourself. I seriously hope I knock that interview out of the park; I’d rather not go back to slinging cotton candy.”

He chuckles and shakes your hand again, clasping over it with his other hand, lingering for a while. “I’ll see you then.”

part 2: here an: hello! what did you think? reader lowkey miserable until harry shows up LOL. i really wanna do fun stuff with this story idk. i am hoping it came across the way i imagined it! i just like need harry carnally and i realized no one was gonna write about him so i had to take matters into my own hands.

#harry osborn #harold theopolis osborn #spiderman ps4 #spiderman 2 ps5 #marvels spiderman #marvels spiderman 2 #peter parker #spiderman #mary jane watson #mj watson #harry osborn x reader #x reader #fanfiction #harry osborn fanfiction #harry osborn x y/n

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beastofburdenxo · 10 months ago

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Tommy request where he disregards her for grace and then when the thrill of it ends he ends up regretting BUT she’s focused on helping john and reader is just so cute and caring with johns kids and john is wanting to marry her being all like “this makes sense, she and i are the same age, best friends for like YEARS now, it all fits” and Polly’s all like “cute but tommy will skin you alive” and instead of groveling tommy turns dark and is all like “you want your little shelby babies? then okay I, and only I, will give it to love” please and thank u xxx

Damn alright here we go......

Little Green Monster

After choosing Grace over you, Tommy begins to realize he messed up when you start spending time with his brother John. Tags: dark! Tommy, p in v, unprotected sex, language, multiple orgasms, slight stalking, breeding kink

Tommy chose Grace Over you And at first it really did hurt your feelings. You loved Tommy and You thought that he loved you too. Then, unexpectedly, John came into your life, and he made the pain more bearable. He needed help with all of his kids, and you had nothing else to do. The two of you grew close in time, John thinking that perhaps Tommy leaving you was a good thing. He needed a woman like you, and you were always so good and sweet to his kids.

"I think I want to marry her, Pol." John confessed to Polly. "She's just so wonderful, I don't see how Tommy could have possibly left her." Polly put down her cup of tea with a serious look on her face. "I agree John, she is lovely, but Tommy will skin you alive if he hears of your intentions. Regardless of who he chose, that little green monster will always be on his back. I do believe he regrets his decision. This whole thing will make Tommy go crazy and do something he shouldn't." John rolls his eyes, "I believe I can handle my own brother, Pol. He broke her heart! I fixed it! He can fuck right off! We are best friends, we'd be perfect married!" Tommy was in the other room and heard every word. Oh, little green monster indeed.

Tommy knew your routine and waited for you to be alone at the end of the day to say anything. He stood in the shadows outside your house, waiting for John to leave. John finally made his way home, a smirk on his face. Tommy quietly opened the door, sneaking his way in your house. "John? You forget something?" You turned around to find Tommy at your bedroom door. "Excuse you, Tommy!" Quickly wrapping yourself up in your silk robe. "What in the hell are you doing here? You can't just-" Tommy cut you off by closing the distance and pulling you into a searing kiss.

You push Tommy away with a slap. "How dare you, Tommy! I am John's girl now. You left me for Grace, so go be with her and leave me be!" Tommy grabs you and holds you up against the wall. "You know I can't do that now. You are not John's, you will always be mine and you know it. He wants to marry you and fill you up with his babies, but over my dead body, love. Deep down, you know you want my babies. You know you miss me." You can feel how hard Tommy is right now, and you will the butterflies to leave your stomach. "You know you miss me, love, especially at night. You miss me being buried inside you, clinging to me for dear life, eh? I've been the only man that could make you come, isn't that right?" Tommy purrs in your ear.

A sudden flash of anger comes across at his arrogance. "Fuck you!" Tommy just chuckles and throws you on the bed "Oh I will, love. That I will do. I've missed you so much." You try and fight him, but Tommy is much stronger, and part of you doesn't want to fight much to your disgust. His big, strong hands make their way up your legs and under your nightgown. Tommy finds what he is looking for with a pleased smile. "Well, well. Seems like you've missed me too, eh love? So wet as always for me. My good girl." He quickly undresses himself, ready to be inside you.

He pulls your legs apart and dives inside with no warning. Your back arches at the sudden intrusion. Fighting the moan that is trying to escape your mouth. Tommy growls at how well you take him. "Even your body remembers me, love. Don't you see? You are mine. All mine. Nothing compares to you, love, and I'm sorry it had to be this way. Don't fight this, sweetheart. You know it's right. I belong here. You belong underneath me." Tommy knows just how to move to get your brain to switch off. You want to say so much, but your brain won't will your mouth to move. With a particular movement of his hips, you cry out and dig your nails in his back.

"Oh, there she is, there's my girl." Tommy moans. "I know what you like, don't I? John sure as hell doesn't. Only I can get you to feel this good. Only I can get you to soak these sheets. My girl. Mine. You want shelby babies? I'll give you as many as you want. I'll keep you full and satisfied. I'll fill you till you overflow. Whenever you want it. You. Are. Mine. To. Fill." Tommy thrusts hard with every word to make his point, and the sound of his deep voice in your ear causes you to lose control and come all over him.

"Good girl. There you go. Take what you need. You've been without me too long. Well, that's over. I've got you now, don't I?" Tommy kisses you again. "Look at you all fucked out and at peace. Just how it should be. I'm gonna come so hard inside you, love. Are you ready?" All you can do is nod weakly as his confession causes you to squeeze him again. "I'll never leave you again, I promise." With one final thrust, Tommy releases inside you, the warmth causing another orgasm to escape from you. You lay there with Tommy, full and satisfied, just like he said you'd be.

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders #daddy

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smartwatermagic · 8 months ago

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I kinda wanna know about the shared trauma Annabeth and Alabaster both have from Luke and how they deal with it? How does Percy deal with them going completely insane just thinking about it? Does Annabeth ever realize she was used by Luke too (I feel like in a way she was)? I just kind of wanted you to explore this a bit more.

Ohohohoho -> you can hear me wringing my hands and cackling if you squint lol. This is going to get long so buckle up folks, I am breaking out the "•" format again

(CW:suicide mention, it's about Luke's death)

It's very important to start that the love was there. Luke loved them, they were his little siblings. It didn't change anything. It didn't stop the hurt. Perhaps it made it worse. But it's very important that the love was there.

Percabeth didn't talk about Luke after Manhattan, not really. That off-hand comment about his flying shoes in Cotg was the first time either of them mentioned him out-loud.

It's Alabaster coming into their life that opened up that baggage along with several more they were happy to ignore until it eventually burst.

I think it would be good for both of them when they come to the realisation that Luke wasn't evil and he wasn't a can-do-no-wrong-hero either. (He is still the hero of the prophecy of course but yeah, you all get it)

He was just a traumatised kid who grew into a traumatised young adult and caused the deaths and traumas of dozens of other kids whether he wanted to or not.

Just Annabeth realising she was the same age as when Luke took her in when she took the sky from him. Just Annabeth having a talk with Thalia, learning about Halycon Green, and how Luke changed after that, and how he again changed after that visit to May and the confrontation with Hermes. How he seemed to intentionally provoke and go after monsters. Just Annabeth mourning the loss of her dagger and her family. Luke has been dead from the start. Thalia will never be the cool 12 year old that took her under her wing again. Annabeth will out-age and Thalia will out-live both of them.

Just Alabaster realising hey, maybe Luke wasn't this almost god-like being he idolised. That maybe Luke himself didn't believe in half the things he promised. That maybe it shouldn't have been his, a 14 year old's, job to coax out a drunk Luke from the corner of Othrys he backed himself to. That maybe he wasn't wrong to think that he was used as an emotional replacement for Annabeth.

If Alabaster spared a drachma for every time Luke called him Annabeth— well no matter. He was dead now. (He would do anything to hear Luke's voice again, even if that was by being called Annabeth.)

But Luke didn't only hurt them, did he? Like I said he was their big brother. Just the memories of Annabeth staying up full night with Luke, him shielding her from the cold and the harpies as they sat on Thalia's branches. Just Luke protecting Alabaster from bullies who thought picking on the weird scrawny minor god kid no. 1263 would be fun. Luke who saw a little seven year old and took her in, promised family and tried to protect her to his best. Luke who killed himself for her. Luke who tried to maintain the familiy bonds he had with these children that followed him to the Titan army. Luke who tried to keep Alabaster away from Kronos as much as possible, and yet still promoted him to his second in command anyways.

Does that make up for the hurt? Does it matter he loved them if he intentionally or not got them in the middle of the crossfire? That's for Annabaster to decide.

They do miss him though. Once the gates open they can't stop the incoming emotional flood. Sometimes they curse him out, sometimes they cry after him, sometimes they sit in silence of their overwhelming feelings. Sometimes... well, Percy doesn't know, but it's better than Luke being a constant topic of their relationship arguments he guesses.

And it's the way Alabaster still talks like he's trying to imitate Luke: half successful silver tongue, laced with magic and the passion Luke used to have at the very start of the war. It's the way Annabeth paces around like Luke did when he was stressed, all lost in thoughts at picking at her elbows. It's the way all three of them are bone tired, and world weary and if they look at the mirror they just see Luke Luke Luke—

Some nights, when none of them can sleep, under the soft light of the moon and a cozy blanket, with hot drinks in their hands and kisses shared they talk about just how easy it would be to stage Olympus's downfall, how fast, how it would hit them before they can even suspect a thing... All hypothetical certainly, just whispers between lovers.

And Percy. He doesn't even have half the memories his partners have with Luke. But three of what he has stick out the most: Luke teaching him sword-fighting, him siccing a scorpion on little 12 year old Percy with no hesitation and him making him promise to not let things happen this way again as he bled out to death in his lap.

Olympians may have not went through their promise. Percy sure does intend to keep his own one though, gods be damned.

He'll just settle for being there for his partners for however long they grieve, though.

#this is not an anti luke post. i love him. psa end.#pjo #alabaster torrington #annabeth chase #percy jackson #luke castellan #thalia grace #percalabeth #annabaster #percabeth #smartwatermagic #pjo headcanon

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crispyanonartnsfw · 5 days ago

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It stood the test of enough commutes, so here it is !! (Fixed the link)

✶ It was always you and me (a Sambastian mixtape) ✶

If the comic idea was a TV series (pffft), this would be the soundtrack, so the songs are in chronological order. The lyrics are pretty on the nose but in case you're curious I break it down below

(I made this playlist for myself because I would like to draw the comic someday... Maybe one day... For now, I only have the music lol)

These are the first and the last song of each section for reference. I'll stay superficial bc you don't need to know the depths of my brainrot, just know that the songs are mostly either from Sam or Seb POV, few of them from other's characters POVs, and in the second half are mostly shared POV. I tried to keep all the songs in what I think are their vibes but sometimes my hand slipped for the sake of the plot I had in my head not me putting Lorde and LDR in a Sambastian playlist

✶ Ribs - Lorde ⏭ Cigarette Daydreams - Cage The Elephant

Sam and Sebastian are in their teens, they grew up attached to the hip and figured they always will be. Sebastian lightheartedly realizes there might be something more, which could be true for Sam as well if he wasn't half unaware half in denial because that's not how things are supposed to go. Surely he just loves his best friend so much and it's nothing more complicated then that! Right?? But Seb's feelings slowly become heavier and that mixed with the fact that he refuses to accept help for anything from anyone starts to strain the relationship as time passes.

✶ Let it happen - Tame Impala ⏭ Somewhere only we know - Keane

Bad times. Seb is depressed and it doesn't help that Sam and his savior complex are dating Penny (and they are actually good for each other for a while). Sebastian retaliates with Alex, something that Sam disapproves because he was one of his bullies (PSA: my boy Alex is not a villain!! just closeted young and struggling). Is it protectiveness or jealousy? That's between him and god. Much general angst when you add severe growing pains and bad mental health to a broken heart. They end up taking time apart and not seeing each other again. It's hard.

✶ If I ever feel better - Phoenix ⏭ Simple Song - The Shins

Healing hours 🖤 They really needed to work on themselves first and foremost. They figure out stuff, Sebastian fixes his relationship with Maru, Sam is finally honest with himself about his own issues. Friends help. Eventually, they meet again. They easily fit right back together and tentatively work out their feelings.

✶ Read My Mind - The Killers ⏭ Here It Goes Again - OK Go

It's Goblin Destroyer time!! Sam, Seb and Abby are living in Zuzu city, playing concerts, fighting the system, breaking the rules and having the time of their lives. Questionable decisions never looked so good (Peak ASS trio energy btw). Chaos and euphoria ensue. Everything seems perfect until-

✶ Social Cues - Cage The Elephant ⏭ Good Riddance (Time of your life) - Green Day

Why no one told them you never stop figuring shit out in life? Age 30 crisis. Goblin Destroyer are over. They wonder about what direction to take with their lives, and everything seems bittersweet. This time though, they are together, and that makes it all possible - and bearable. They did it before and they'll do it again, they're going to be alright.

✶ Everlong - Foo Fighters ⏭ Praise You - Fatboy Slim

When you've already spent a lifetime together, something very special inevitably takes form. I was thinking about their new timeskipped vibe once they get older and lose the dumbass energy (at least some of it) in favor of a deeper devotion (Hi Hozier). I might keep adding to this. This part is not chronological, truly just Sambastian basking in their love and celebrating everything they've accomplished

(and I'm just an old sap, byeeee)

By the way it's crispy talking: I had to take out several songs that were a bit too freaky lol, that would be a different playlist, also Body Talks is fully about @lily-alphonse 's Lonely Dancers fic, I had to include it 😇

#sambastian #samseb #spotify playlist

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tamed-kratts · 2 years ago

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★ Stargazer ★

Chris Kratt x Reader

Warnings: very tiny angst, miscommunication, putting pollen in the warnings cuz of allergies 😡

Summary: Chris, your current crush, has been ignoring you for a month. You’re about to find out why.

A/N: Never explicitly says reader is female and no pronouns are used but I write my readers to act kinda feminine so beware. Although, this one is pretty neutral. Also Chris would totally just dip the second he has a crush on someone LMAO. One more thing, i low-key diss cats at one point in this fic but don’t be mistaken. I love them.

It had been another warm summer day in North America, a humid breeze flew into the Tourtuga and in your nose as you lay in your reclining chair while staring at your phone screen. There wasn't much going on, the rest of your crew had been looking at some bug they found, you weren’t all that interested, you didn't think anyone would even notice your disappearance. But someone did.

Chris walked into the Tortuga timidly, avoiding eye contact with you as he hurriedly went to his own room, his steps were quick and he made a beeline down a hallway in the large turtle ship. Normally, you wouldn’t fret over one of the kratt brothers acting suspicious, since they were always up to something, but lately you felt as though Chris had been acting especially strange. Around one month ago, he started avoiding you. If you walked in the same room as him, he would make some lame excuse like “I have to go organize the gear.” before running out the room to the garage, leaving you and whoever he was previously talking to. It was pathetic, you had actually grown a small crush on him and it was tearing you apart to have him just pretend you didn’t exist.

He was a big factor to why you didn’t bother trying to hang out with the crew today, you didn’t really feel up to hanging out with your crush who obviously hated your guts.

A new pair of foot steps walked in, they were heavier and louder, it was Martin. “Hey, Y/n, ‘sup?” Martin, unlike his brother, did enjoy your company. He often went out of his way to ask how you were and about your well being. He reminded you of a dog, curious of its owner's whereabouts after a long day of work. You guess that made Chris a cat, one that hissed and bit you if you pet it for a second too long and hated you for the rest of its life. "Nothing, how are you?" You said.

“I’m good, me and Chris came inside to get changed. We’re covered in pollen and Koki said if we don’t get into some clean clothes she’ll leave us here, heh.” He laughed, but knowing Koki, she was probably serious. Looking at him, you realized his usually white shirt was now stained yellow and his blue blazer had spots green on them. "But I'm sure Chris told you all about it and probably more."

You sighed, "No, he didn’t. Chris probably wouldn’t even stay in the same room as me if he was suffocating and my skin produced oxygen." You rolled your eyes, annoyed by Chris’ childish behavior.

"What are you talking about?" Martin said, turning his head curiously.

"Chris hasn't spoken a word to me in almost a month, and when I walk into a room, he bolts out before I can even look at him." You said this a lot less confident than the last time you talked, mostly out of fear of how Martin would react. Martin just stared at you as a smile slowly grew on his lips, as if he was plotting something.

"Huh, well, I have NO idea AT ALL why that would be happening, heh…" He scratched the back of his neck before backing up to the main exit of the Tortuga. "If I were you, I'd ask him about flowers."

"Flowers?" You tilted your head as if you were confused if you heard him correctly. Chris had never shown an interest in flowers unless they had something to do with an animal. But just flowers by themselves?

"Yup, flowers. Specifically a Stargazer Lily.” He smirked and ran back outside.

“Martin, wait!” You yelled. “You didn’t change your shirt…” Sighing, you went back on your phone for a few minutes before Chris left his room.

“Chris?” He sped up. “Chris!” You jumped out of your seat and ran towards him, barely catching his arm. Standing next to him with your arm wrapped around his, you realized he didn’t have on his green fleece jacket like usual. It was slung on his shoulder lazily, probably to get out of the Tortuga as quickly as possible.

"Can we talk?" His posture stiffened up and he looked away from you, it kinda put you at ease knowing you weren't lying under his judgmental gaze. But it made you wonder what excuse he was plotting.

You squeezed his arm tighter. "Please." He had looked down, embarrassed and shamefully, before nodding his head. "Yeah. Sure."

Slowly, you let go of his arm; to your own dismay. You both walked over to your desk, he pulled up a chair across from you. Just like he did before he stopped talking to you, you felt bittersweet.

"So…what bug are you checking out?"

Still, he avoided eye contact. "Honey Bees, nothing special."

"What have you learned from them?" You asked; partially curious, mostly to just talk.

"Well, they communicate through scent and dance. They also are a matriarchal led society, so there's only a handful of male bees in a hive."

"That's cool." An awkward pause was held between you both, it was probably the most uncomfortable silence you had ever sat in.

He stood up, his hand supporting himself on the chair as he got back on his feet. "If that's all, you wanted to talk about, the-"

"Why are you ignoring me? Did I offend you or something? If I did, why didn't you tell me?"

He stared at you like you were crazy. “What?”

“You aren’t talking to me and every time I walk in a room you leave, you don’t look at me and you just tried to run outside!” He got tense, but you didn’t notice and continued ranting. “I really miss you, I thought we were friends. That’s why I thought you’d come to me if I did something wrong but you never did and I- ugh! Do you know how much I miss you? I really like you!” Covering your mouth to stop the flow of word vomit, you gasped. Chris wore a shocked expression too and his cheeks began to flush. “I-I mean like, I like your company…”

You were going to try and explain yourself further, but Chris had already begun speaking. “I don’t hate you or anything I just-“ he sighed heavily “…Do you remember a few weeks back, when we snuck out of the tortuga?” You recalled the event, it was the last time you two spoke before Chris went on his silence strike.

You heard of a few constellations being incredibly visible in the sky at the time. So you and him had planned to meet at the top of the tortuga that night to stargaze. You both agreed to not invite anyone else, just you two and your shared interests. You stayed up there for hours, talking about nothing in particular.

“I used to wanna be an astronaut when I was a kid, y’know? My childhood room is covered in space stuff. I even used to have my own telescope.” You reminisced about going out on summer nights and looking at the moon.

He chuckled. “I'm not surprised, you knew a lot about the moon when me and Martin got stuck on it that one time.” He remembered how you couldn’t stop ranting about moon folklore. “You also have a lot of space stickers in that binder you let me borrow. Plus you had a minor in astronomy in college.”

You stared at him, amazed. “You remember all that?” You said, surprised anyone would pay that much attention to you. His cheeks grew a light shade of red.

“Uh yeah, we spend a lot of time together. How could I not.”

“Oh. Yeah…” you said, staring back up at the sky, the Sagitta constellation, amazed at its beauty. Meanwhile, Chris stared at you.

“It's so beautiful.”

“Yeah…stunning…”

The next day, Chris was talking to Martin about the conversation you both had last night. He said he felt strange at the end. And in Martin fashion, he yelled “You’re in love!” Chris brushed it off at first, but everytime he looked at your face that word echoed in his skull.

“Love, love, love…” He couldn’t even look at you without feeling like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. And looking at you now was hard. Your face was flushed and your eyes were awestruck.

“Is that…really why? You aren’t just messing with me, right?” He choked on his own words.

“I- No! I know it's stupid! I just-…you’re really nice and pretty and you always listen when I talk. I couldn’t help but fall for you.” His chocolate brown eyes were completely honest. You leaned forward and cupped one side of his face with your hand.

“I am…so happy you said that.” The kiss was soft and kind, you both melted into each other's grasp as you enjoyed the warmth of one another’s skin. When you pulled away, he smiled kindly and leaned in for another kiss.

“Hold on, lover boy,” You said, covering his mouth with your hand. “I asked Martin about this and he said to mention some flowers called stargazer lilies, what’s that about?” He cringed for a second and held his face in one hand.

“Please don’t make me say it…”

“You haven’t talked to me in a month, you owe me this.” He sighed in defeat.

“I was going to get you these flowers I found because they reminded me of you. I was going to give them to you but I got…nervous and I…”

“…you?”

“I stuffed them into this vent. Martin saw and told on me to Aviva. Then, she asked what I was doing with flowers and Martin told her that I liked you. After that, they’ve been trying to matchmake me with you. I'm pretty sure Jimmy and Koki know also…”

“We do!” Said a voice from outside. Looking in the doorway, you saw your fellow crew members peeking inside to invade you both.

“Smooth, bro!” Martin said, giving his steaming brother a thumbs up before running off while being chased by him. The rest of the crew crowded around you to ask you about your relationship with Chris.

“What can I say? I like looking at stars.”

#wild kratts #martin kratt #chris kratt #aviva corcovado #christopher my beloved #chris kratt x reader #wild kratts x reader #martin fic next perhaps

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marimitozpen · 11 months ago

Text

how to find a family and yourself, too

Summary: He supposes he becomes a man somewhere along the way, begrudgingly accepting the role as if it was some new expectation he needed to rise to. He never questioned why it was that way, just that it was. It's just some truth of the world: the sea is blue, his hair is green, and men just have to pretend to know what being a man is.

Or, Zoro realizes he is not as cis as he thinks he is, and that the crew doesn’t care, and that he really loves his family.

★★★★★★★★★★

Hi! This fic was originally uploaded to ao3 exactly two years ago today, and in honor of its second birthday I wanted to crosspost to tumblr. This is the only fic I've ever uploaded, and I wrote it as a way to process the fact that I am agender. A lot of Zoro's thoughts and feelings are based on my own. I know there's not a market for agender Zoro, but I know that this fic helped people from my ao3 comments. The original fic is under a different name, and I went through and edited this one before crossposting, because I have improved over the past two years. Anyways, enjoy!

*slight spoilers up to and including fishman island*

★★★★★★★★★★

The first time it happens, Zoro is ten years old.

The day isn’t going well, anyways. Zoro has been training tirelessly at the Isshin Dojo for an entire year already, dedicating all he has into finally defeating Kuina. She is his last obstacle, and just that day, she had beaten him in their 2,000th match. 2,000 times, Zoro had taken up the bamboo swords, and 2,000 times Kuina had struck him down. She’s still so far away, this unreachable pillar that Zoro just can’t defeat, no matter how hard he tries. Zoro is at his wits end, trying to understand how he is ever going to get out of this dojo, how he is ever going to move forward.

It’s hopeless, really. How could Zoro ever hope to become the greatest when he can’t even defeat the girl in front of him?

So, he takes up his swords, real ones made of steel and sharp enough to slice anything, and challenges Kuina. He finds her outside, sitting by the side of the road, and starts yelling. “I plan to make this our last fight, I’m going to end this! Fight me with a real sword!”

It is exhilarating , the most exciting thing in Zoro’s short life up to this point. Bamboo swords and sparring do not compare to the thrill of putting your life on the line, the danger of getting hurt for real, the scent of steel and sparks in the air. Kuina is just as difficult to defeat as ever, always faster or stronger than him. Zoro’s arms ache from the weight of the swords, and Kuina teases him, and she still manages to toss him in the air like a ragdoll. Their 2,001st match; Zoro’s 2,001st loss. The weight of the defeat is crushing, and as much as Zoro doesn’t want to, he starts to tear up.

But then, for reasons Zoro just can not understand, Kuina tells him that he shouldn’t cry. She tells him that eventually, just because she is a girl, she will start to get weaker. That she won’t be taken seriously. That just because of her gender, she can never be the strongest .

It makes Zoro feel a lot of emotions, a lot of which he can’t really decipher right now. If Kuina is giving up on being the greatest for some stupid reason like being a girl, where does that leave Zoro? All of his training so far has been just to defeat her, and here she is, saying she was just going to lose someday. What about all of this strength I’ve worked for? Zoro thinks. What about the strength you worked for? Does it all just disappear, because you grew up and that makes you weaker?

There was something else, too, something a lot harder to put words to. Just as Kuina is accepting defeat because she was a girl, she’s basically telling Zoro that he’s destined to win because he was a man. He’s everything she wishes she was, born to be stronger and faster and naturally more talented, and Zoro just can’t stand it. It feels like an unbelievable weight on his shoulders, just another thing he has to work for and grow into. Who says I have to be a man like that? Why does it matter? None of this matters, just our training!

Zoro finally gives Kuina a piece of his mind, yelling about the things that were easier for him to understand. He tells her that when the day comes that he finally beats her, it will be because he worked for it and earned his own strength, not because of her gender. And that she can’t just give up on being the greatest, because he is going to surpass her. Kuina smiles at him, and under the moonlight, they make a promise. One of us will become the world’s greatest swordsman.

Zoro gets everything out that night, but he still goes to bed feeling like something was wrong. But how could he explain the sinking feeling in his stomach, the gut instinct that Kuina was wrong? He’s already gotten her to agree that her strength and training were more important than something like her gender, so why does he still feel so odd?

She just… told me I was a man. I never thought about it until now, but am I? What does that mean? Does that mean beating Kuina, becoming the strongest? Zoro’s thoughts run wild for a minute, and he lets them, before he thinks about how swordsmanship was mind as well as body. Whatever was happening, it didn’t matter, it was just a bump in the road. He just decides that Kuina was what made a man, that if gender matters so much, he’ll just earn his when he beats her. It’s simple enough, and Zoro finally drifts to sleep.

He never gets the chance to beat Kuina. The next day, his world comes crashing down. Kuina had died, slipped down the stairs and away. Forever out of Zoro’s reach.

It was really, really hard to accept for a long, long time. Zoro throws himself into his training, trying to ignore the way he could still see her out of the corners of his eyes, focused only on becoming stronger so that he could live up to their promise. Zoro never settles for anything less than the best, and now he has to carry Kuina’s dream, too.

Kuina’s father hands over her sword, and it feels heavy with expectation but perfectly balanced in Zoro’s small hands. Carrying along Kuina’s legacy was still difficult sometimes, but sometimes he feels like having someone there with him makes it easier. Zoro pushes forward, both striving to surpass Kuina and to bring her along with him.

Zoro doesn’t think about his weird feelings from that night again for a long time. It’s easy to ignore in the monotony of the dojo – he doesn’t stand out from the other kids in anything but strength. They all wear the same uniforms, sleep in piles on the floor, train and live and fight together. Zoro pushes himself a little beyond what was reasonable sometimes, but that’s all just training to become the strongest. Some days, the pressure he feels is so overwhelming that every “he” he hears stings, but that’s okay. He can ignore it.

He supposes he becomes a man somewhere along the way, begrudgingly accepting the role as if it was some new expectation he needed to rise to. He never questioned why it was that way, just that it was. It's just some truth of the world: the sea is blue, his hair is green, and men just have to pretend to know what being a man is. He doesn’t get to seriously question it again until nine years later, when Zoro finds himself as one member of a two-member pirate crew, sailing away from a Marine base and on to something new.

----------

Zoro wakes up to Luffy singing, loud and bright and right in Zoro’s ear. Zoro doesn’t regret joining up, because he can tell this kid is going to take him far, but he also really wants to sleep right now. He’s not made of rubber, he can’t just bounce back into place after being injured the way his new captain can. Zoro cracks one eye open and turns his head in Luffy’s direction, intent on giving the younger boy a piece of his mind.

Instead, his eyes fall on Luffy’s chest. Luffy’s vest is open, and there are two long, thin cuts on either side of his chest. They look old, already healed, but Zoro still panics.

“Luffy, your chest! Did you get hurt back at the Marine base? Why didn’t you tell anyone!” he shouts, sitting up as quickly as he can.

Luffy just cocks his head, looking terribly confused. Then, as if a lightbulb has gone off in his head, he smiles. “Oh, are you talking about my scars?”

Zoro nods, swallowing. Those scars look painful , and Zoro is kinda shocked that Luffy is being so nonchalant about all of this. He is pulled out of his thoughts by laughter.

“I got surgery a year ago! Pretty cool, right? I told Gramps I wouldn’t become a Marine unless I got it, so he paid for me to have surgery, then I became a pirate anyways. I sure showed him, huh?”

Zoro’s head is spinning. He doesn’t know who Gramps is or why he wanted Luffy to become a Marine, and he still doesn’t know why Luffy got this surgery. His confusion must be clear on his face, because Luffy starts explaining again.

“Are you confused on why I got the surgery?” he asks gently. Zoro nods.

“It’s cause I’m trans!” Luffy announces with a grin. “Do you know what that is?”

Zoro shakes his head at that. Is this something I should know? he thinks, but Luffy is quick to dispel his worry.

“Don’t worry, lots of people don’t know! I didn’t even know for a long time. Basically, it means I wasn’t born as a boy. My brain and my heart always said I was a boy, even though my body didn’t. So I had to change my body to match.”

Luffy’s explanation makes sense to Zoro, but he still feels confused, although for a different reason. Not born as a boy… Zoro just didn’t know that was something that could happen. He is silent for a long time, and Luffy just starts humming beside him. Zoro thinks he might recognize the tune.

After a long time, Luffy finally speaks up again. “Zoro, you’re… okay with it, right?”

Zoro startles a bit, then processes Luffy’s question. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be okay with it?”

Luffy shrugs, one hand playing with the brim of his straw hat. “I dunno… it’s just that some people aren’t. You went all silent on me, I didn’t know what you were thinking.”

Zoro smiles at Luffy. It’s weird, because smiles used to be rare for Zoro, but it seems like his captain is able to draw them out of him so easily. “It’s okay, captain. I was just thinking about something else.”

Luffy laughs again. The sun is dipping lower on the horizon, washing their boat in shades of orange and purple, but Luffy’s face is as bright as the sun. “That’s good, cause I would’ve had to fight you if you weren’t okay with it.” He sways a little where he sits, coming to rest with his head on Zoro’s shoulder. “I don’t wanna fight my crew. That’s not what nakama’s for.”

Zoro just looks ahead, still deep in thought. He is vaguely aware of Luffy falling asleep on his shoulder, but for some reason, he doesn’t push the boy off. He just sits, thinking. Not born as a man… so how did you know, then? Did someone tell you that you were a man, just like Kuina told me?

What does all of this mean? I never just… felt like a man, I had to make myself feel like one. So am I a woman, then? Is that an option? Zoro’s racing mind halts for a second as he considers this train of thought. He snorts as he realizes how stupid it is. Okay, definitely not a woman. I guess this is what Luffy felt, then. Just not a woman.

It all starts to make a little more sense to Zoro. If all it takes to be a man is just not being a woman, then Zoro has that down pat. The rest will be easy. And yet, Zoro still feels strange. It feels like a door is opening up to him. Something is starting to change, and he can’t tell what yet.

----------

Zoro hates Sanji the moment he sets eyes on him. The cook is pretentious, starting a fight with a Marine over some soup, and Zoro can’t stand how preachy Sanji is. Then, he starts getting all flirty with Nami, which also pisses Zoro off. This Sanji guy is a real idiot, and if Zoro didn’t respect Luffy so much, he would be really worried about this guy joining the crew.

But there’s something else about Sanji that irks Zoro, something he can’t quite put his finger on. He could go on for days about how Sanji is loud, and rude, and stuck-up, and stupid; but it feels like Zoro is skirting around some other issue. Luffy and Zoro are just as loud and rude, and according to Nami they’re even dumber than Sanji. Most of these qualities don’t even bother Zoro, so why does Sanji just have this way of pushing all of Zoro’s buttons?

After a few weeks and a few run-ins with death (and a very valuable reality check for Zoro), Zoro begrudgingly accepts Sanji’s presence on the crew. He has to admit, the other man is damn good in a fight, both as an ally and as an opponent. He’s also a very, very good cook, but Zoro would never tell him that. He doesn’t need Sanji’s ego getting any bigger, the thing is already threatening to sink the Merry.

But Sanji still pisses Zoro off to no end.

The two of them get along like a house on fire. They will argue about anything and everything, much to Luffy’s amusement and Nami and Usopp’s chagrin. Zoro will insult the cook’s stupid eyebrows and Sanji will insult Zoro’s unusual hair color, and they will exchange blows just as often as they have each other’s backs. It makes things slightly tense, but still interesting.

Sanji is everything Zoro hates about men, Zoro realizes one day. He is cocky and rude and he pushes himself onto women, he is over-the-top and annoying and oh so performative. Zoro can’t stand him, because he’s everything Zoro’s not and he’s everything Zoro doesn’t ever want to be and he’s so damn loud about it.

This realization does absolutely nothing to remedy Zoro and Sanji’s relationship. Zoro is not only mad at Sanji at this point, he’s just as mad at himself for realizing what Sanji is and what he’s doing and feeling threatened by it. Seriously, Zoro has no reason to be questioning himself right now, and yet Sanji just manages to get under his skin and make him actually think. Zoro doesn’t like thinking all that much, he much prefers actions.

It makes Zoro wonder why Sanji is like this and how exactly his masculinity or whatever has the power to make Zoro so mad. It has Zoro questioning his own masculinity, because he is so different from Sanji so how can he be sure he’s doing it right? It makes Zoro think about his place on the crew, because it used to be easy; there was Luffy, the captain; then Zoro, then Usopp and Nami. Now there’s Sanji, and he has the potential to be Zoro’s equal in terms of strength, and Zoro just feels so strange about all of this.

Zoro deals with it the way he deals with all of his non-physical problems: he ignores it. If Zoro can’t slice through a problem, it simply can’t be solved, from his point of view. Not that he doesn’t try slicing through Sanji, but the cook is quick enough to put up a fight. And besides, Luffy would probably be pretty upset if Zoro hurt or killed his beloved cook.

The two of them continue to fight, and Zoro might even be starting more fights on purpose now, because he’s just angry with himself and Sanji and what better way to take it out? Eventually Nami puts some sort of stop on it and gives them both a stern talking-to, but that’s only because Sanji can’t say no to her and she’s threatening to raise Zoro’s debt if he keeps starting unnecessary fights. This doesn’t end the fighting entirely, not by a long shot, but at least some semblance of peace returns to their small ship. If Sanji were gone , Zoro thinks, peace could return entirely. But unfortunately, Sanji is there to stay, and he is there to be a thorn in Zoro’s side for the entire rest of their journey.

----------

Zoro did not expect to be literally facing his past when he woke up this morning and departed the ship to explore Loguetown, but here he is. Staring into the face of a dead girl who is shouting words at him that he hasn’t heard in almost a decade, and Zoro just feels so many things he might not be able to handle it.

Tashigi has been popping up around Zoro all day; he saw her on the street and accidentally broke her glasses, she dragged him to the Marine base for chores, he escaped but met her again at the swords shop, she finally recognized him and chased him down. And here they are, standing in the rain, as she taunts him.

As if it weren’t bad enough that she’s forcing her stupid ideal of justice on him, insulting his bond with his sword because he’s a “criminal” or whatever, Tashigi starts repeating the words that Kuina shouted that day all those years ago. She seems insulted that Zoro isn’t taking her seriously, interprets it not as an offense to her own skill, but an attack on her gender. Kuina’s face and Kuina’s words… it’s all too much for Zoro.

“Is it because I’m a woman?” Tashigi screams. “You view me as weak, you won’t finish me off! Take me seriously! You don’t understand what it’s like, to wish you were born a boy!” She’s so loud and so pushy and Zoro finally just snaps. He whirls around and starts yelling back, even though he knows it’s childish.

“Everything about you pisses me off! You have the same face as my close friend who died years ago, and then you start shouting the same things as she does! Give me a break, you copycat!” Zoro breathes in, and Tashigi starts arguing back, but Zoro continues. “I’ll tell you what I told her; your gender has nothing to do with it, only your skill and mine. And if I didn’t take you seriously, take that as an offense to your skill, because I held back because you were weak! Don’t blame it on gender!”

Tashigi just stands there, staring at him. It’s clear she’s never been talked to like this; her jaw is hanging open and Zoro is pretty sure that there’s tears mixing in with the rain on her cheeks. He scowls at her, then turns back to go find his captain, leaving her in the dust.

Later, when Zoro is back on the ship, he starts to think a bit more about what Tashigi said. It brings back everything from the night of Kuina’s death; the confusion and the anger and the weird, unplaceable feeling that Zoro was sure he suppressed but is coming back to rear its ugly head. What is it about swordswomen and their ability to shake me up like this? Zoro thinks to himself, allowing himself to just wallow in his confusion for a few seconds. He then stands up, shakes himself off, and decides he must become stronger, so he can get past this stupid gender stuff.

Of course, he can’t fully relax yet, because Nami is approaching. “Thinking over there, Zoro? I don’t see you doing that often,” she teases. Zoro flips her off.

“Awww, c’mon, don’t be like that. Tell me everything! I’m a great problem solver, you know.” She encourages as she sits down on the deck and pulls Zoro down next to her. And Zoro really doesn’t want to tell her anything, but… they’re cooped up on a ship and Nami is the only woman here so maybe she will at least have some perspective on this whole thing?

“I just got in a really weird fight today, with one of the Marines. After I defeated her she started yelling about how I wasn’t taking her seriously just because she’s a woman. It reminded me of my childhood friend, she used to say the same thing. It’s strange, because I don’t think about who my opponent is when I fight them, only their skill.” Zoro explains. His voice sounds weak and it hits Zoro that this is really stupid, but he’s already said it so there’s not much he can do now.

Nami hums as she thinks. “Well, she’s probably feeling insecure a little bit. All women are used to being underestimated. Some of us, like me,” Nami accentuates her statement by pointing to herself, “like to use it to our advantage. I’ve got Sanji-kun wrapped around my finger, you know? Just because I’m a girl.” She pauses, then looks at Zoro before starting her next point.

“Well, I guess some women don’t view it the same way. They want to be seen as equals, instead of having to constantly prove themselves by exceeding expectations. I guess that Marine and your friend are both like that, they see that you’re not taking them seriously and they think it’s because you’re underestimating them. But if it’s just because of their skill, like you say, then there’s not much you can do other than ignore them.” Nami pats his shoulder. “Got that, stupid?”

“Yeah,” Zoro grumbles, not rising to the bait for once. “Although Kuina, my friend… I never underestimated her. She was always stronger than me. I never once beat her in a fight.”

If Nami notices the use of past tense, she doesn’t comment on it. “I’m sure I would’ve liked her, if she could take you down a peg,” Nami laughs. She leaves a little while later, and Zoro is kinda glad he had this talk. He’s still a bit swamped by the weird feelings, but at least the other things are starting to make a little more sense.

----------

“Hey Robin, whatcha readin?”

The response from the crew is instantaneous. Everyone who is on deck, Zoro included, falls silent and stares. Zoro himself sits up from where he was sprawled across the deck to watch as his captain leans over Robin’s shoulder to inspect the book she has laying open on the table.

He thinks he heard about this happening once before, of Luffy showing an interest in Robin’s books, and that the crew had been just as shocked then. It’s just that books and Luffy… they don’t really go together. Luffy has been listening in to some of Robin’s story times and she is more than happy to read out loud for some of her younger crewmates, but it’s rare that Luffy is the one to show interest.

“Oh, it’s a book about different identities. It’s rather interesting, do you want me to read it to you?” Robin hardly seems phased by Luffy’s sudden interest, taking it in stride. She’s always happy to indulge her captain on his more tame shenanigans.

Luffy shakes his head. “Nah, the pictures just caught my attention.” At this, most of the crew lets out a collective sigh. Nami goes back to watering her flowers, and Usopp and Chopper start making noise on the upper deck again. Sanji prattles away in the kitchen and Franky stays below deck, neither of them having heard the initial question. Zoro wants to keep watching, for some reason. Luffy hooks his arm over Robin’s shoulder, fingers running across the page. “Like this one! The colors are pretty. What’s it mean?”

Robin smiles, and it is unlike the smiles Zoro has seen from her up to this point. “That flag represents transgender people, Captain. Do you know what that is?”

Now it is Luffy’s turn to smile, the toothy grin taking up his whole face. “Like me!” he exclaims cheerfully.

Robin looks shocked for a second before she reigns her expression in. Zoro thinks this is the first time he’s seen her smile with teeth. “I’m like that too, Captain,” she replies. “How funny that we should meet on this broad sea.”

Luffy is positively beaming at this point. He finally pulls up a chair and sits across from Robin. He is gesturing excitedly as he speaks, telling Robin it is so cool that they met and that he’s never met another person like himself before. Zoro smiles a little, in spite of himself. It’s nice to hear his captain so happy, and seeing Robin smiling fondly isn’t so bad either. He is about to drift back to sleep when Luffy is suddenly calling to him.

“Zoro, hey Zoro! You should come look too! This book is so cool, they have a flag for everything!” Zoro cracks one eye open to glare at his captain. Robin is giggling from behind her hand.

Zoro sighs. Yes, it’s nice that his captain is taking interest in a somewhat quiet activity, and that Robin is opening up a little too. But to be honest, Zoro has no interest in the book himself. He figures that nothing in there is going to apply to him, since he already realized he’s not like his captain or Robin.

“I think that the swordsman wants to sleep, Captain.” Oh, nice save Robin! Zoro makes a mental note to thank her later. Luffy protests a little, grumbling something about how all Zoro does is sleep, but he’s drawn back into the book when Robin flips the page.

“Robin, look, this one looks like Zoro,” Luffy comments. Robin agrees, telling him that those colors do look a lot like Zoro’s hair color and outfit. Zoro can still feel Luffy’s gaze on him, but he ignores it. He closes his eyes and lets himself drift off to sleep for real, this time.

----------

Zoro wakes up in a bed in a room he does not recognize. Not that he’s never done that before, but it seems different this time. Zoro shouldn’t be here.

The last thing he remembers is running for his life. Zoro had been gravely injured, and there was an admiral and all these robots, and they really stood no chance…

The weird, spongy, not-earth of the Sabaody Archipelago is making it hard to run. Zoro’s legs ache and he’s sure he’s reopened several of his wounds. It took a serious joint effort just to take down that one Kuma robot, and Zoro isn’t honestly sure he has it in him to take on any more. He hates feeling so weak, but of course he couldn’t have changed the outcome of Thriller Bark. Zoro would gladly do it again to save his captain.

Still, this is a very bad situation, and no time for reminiscing. Zoro has crewmates to protect, and he has robots to escape. Of course, it is then that the real Kuma shows up. He quips about Zoro still being alive, and Zoro gives him the best answer he can in the moment. Of course, he does owe Kuma in a way, but the man still poses a huge threat.

Zoro’s lungs ache and his legs are about to give out. His arms are weak, he can’t do anything to save himself. He is aware of people yelling, trying to save him, but it’s too late. Kuma raises one huge, ungloved paw and swings it. Zoro’s world fades away immediately.

That’s the last thing Zoro remembers, so how the hell did he get here? He can feel bandages covering his skin, but they are not wrapped with the professionalism and care that Chopper’s usually are, which tells him that he’s no longer with his crewmates. He wonders what happened to them and starts panicking, bolting out of bed to start taking in his surroundings.

Then, he sees her out of the corner of his eye. The weird ghost girl from Thriller Bark, what was her name again? Perfume, or something?

“It’s Perona, you dumbass!” she shouts. Oh, so Zoro said that out loud then.

She explains to him that he came down in a bubble and how it was part of Kuma’s power. She doesn’t know where they are, but she bandaged him up the best she could, and he really needs to wait and rest before he does anything stupid.

Zoro doesn’t listen, of course. He’s not so weak and helpless that he can just lay in bed when his crew probably needs him, when his captain probably needs him. He just keeps going out and getting into fights with the weird monkeys that inhabit the island, pissing Perona off and injuring himself further.

A few days later, Mihawk shows up to tell Zoro about the war, and this is probably the worst Zoro has ever felt. To think, while he was out here unable to defeat some stupid baboons, his captain was fighting in a war and losing his only brother in such a horrific way. Zoro is useless, useless, useless, and he’s so weak it hurts.

Then he gets the orders: stay where you are. You have two years. Get stronger. It’s painful, but it’s simple and it’s what needs to be done. It makes Zoro’s heart ache that he can’t be there to comfort his captain, but he quickly decides that he will spend these two years getting stronger so that he won’t miss this kind of situation again. Better yet, there won’t be one at all. After some begging, Mihawk agrees to take him in, and Zoro throws himself into his training.

It is slightly reminiscent of his time at the dojo. At the time, Zoro’s need to become the strongest was so that he could carry on Kuina’s will and achieve their dream. But now, Zoro has people, a family , he wants to protect. The training is grueling and bloody and mind-numbing, and Zoro wouldn’t have it any other way. He loses sight of everything other than his goal and his crew, the two things he is doing everything for. Two years, and Zoro will be strong enough so that nothing has to happen to hurt the Straw Hats again.

----------

Zoro has to admit, being back with the crew after two years of separation is really, really nice. Two years apart was far too long. He had missed everyone, even that stupid cook, and he missed being on the ocean. He understands why they spent two years apart, and everyone is much stronger for it, but he is glad that those years are behind them.

Just making it off of Sabaody was an ordeal. Luffy manages to attract trouble everywhere he goes, though, so the crew is used to this. Zoro almost missed the nonstop action and the daily near-death experiences, but action is not the only part of a pirate’s life. Zoro loves just being on the Sunny, surrounded by his crew – his family – exchanging stories about their training over the past two years.

Zoro learns where everyone spent their two years: Luffy trained with Rayleigh, Chopper mastered all of his forms and learned a lot about medicine, Brook went on tour but still managed to strengthen his skills. Robin mentions something about staying with Luffy’s family in the Revolutionary Army, and it seems innocent enough except for the fact that Robin is wearing her “I know something you don’t” smile. It’s easily brushed off though, because Robin says she can’t share classified information.

Zoro is not really one to give praise, but he does compliment Usopp for surviving two years on an island that was literally trying to eat him. Seriously, Usopp has developed a lot since Zoro last saw him, and he seems a lot more confident than the insecure liar they picked up in Syrup Village so long ago.

Everyone seems a lot more confident, actually. Robin is smiling much more, Chopper is so much more enthusiastic than he’s ever been, and the cook seems weirdly relaxed for once. Zoro hadn’t noticed it much in Sabaody, but the cook seems… different, somehow. He isn’t quite as pushy as he had been in the past, and his mere presence isn’t aggravating Zoro the way it used to.

Zoro gets his explanation soon enough. Sanji is second to last to share his adventures from the last two years, and he takes a shaky breath before doing so. Robin, sitting next to Sanji, places one hand on his back and gives him an encouraging nod.

“I spent my two years on Momoiro Island.” Sanji starts. He is met with mostly blank stares, except from Nami, who raises her eyebrows. Sanji scans their reactions before he continues.

“So the island is home to a huge community of LGBT people, who wanted to create a place where they could exist without judgement. They’re led by Emporio Ivankov of the Revolutionary Army. I actually got to see Robin a few times over those years, because she visited the island on business once or twice. Ah, but that’s besides the point…”

Sanji trails off, still acting nervous. Luckily for him, Luffy interrupts. “I remember Iva-chan! He was so nice! Did he train you, Sanji?”

Sanji whips his head in Luffy’s direction so quickly that Zoro thinks it might fly off. “You think he was nice?”

“Yeah, he saved my life,” Luffy says matter-of-factly.

Sanji shakes his head. “That… doesn’t matter right now. Yes, he trained my cooking and my fighting abilities, but he also made me learn a lot more about myself. Like, that my views on the world and people in the LGBT community were really outdated. And… that I’m genderfluid.”

“Great for you, bro!” Franky congratulates, tears already forming in his eyes. “What does that mean, though?”

Sanji laughs, Franky’s antics lightening the mood for all of them. “I just don’t feel like a man all the time. Sometimes, I feel like a woman, or sometimes I feel like I’m somewhere in between. It changes all the time. Oh, and I use any pronouns now.”

Franky nods, and Usopp also nods along with one hand on his chin. “Right, I get it, but what are pronouns?” Usopp asks.

“It’s like he, she, they. You can use any of them to refer to me, just make sure to use all of them at different points. It’s not great if I’m hearing only ‘he’ all the time.”

Zoro can practically see the steam coming from Luffy’s ears as he processes this. Finally, Luffy speaks. “So, is it like, ‘this is Sanji, they are my cook, and they make the best food ever?’” he asks before looking between Sanji and Robin with an expectant look on his face. Robin giggles softly, and Sanji smiles.

“Yeah, just like that. Or ‘Sanji is my cook, she makes the best food ever.’ You can use any of them,” they assure their captain.

Luffy smiles wide and laughs. “Okay, I get it now! Thank you Sanji!”

After Luffy, everyone else offers thei support and congratulations. Nami, Robin, and Chopper each wrap Sanji up in a tight hug, while Brook and Usopp remind Sanji that he’s always a valued member of the crew. Franky continues crying because of how much strength it must have taken for Sanji to come out.

Zoro… Zoro doesn’t really react. He nods at the cook when she looks his way, but Zoro doesn’t really know what to say. He’s confused, too, because he doesn’t really know what feeling like a man or woman is like, and he’s never even heard about that “somewhere in between” that Sanji was talking about earlier.

The rest of the crew moves on quickly. Zoro is the only one left who hasn’t shared his whereabouts, and he knows the crew will enjoy this. Not only was Zoro staying with and training under his greatest rival, but that ghost girl too. As expected, Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper get a kick out of that. Zoro pushes his worries about Sanji’s coming out to the back of his mind and focuses on enjoying his time with his family before Luffy inevitably drags them into some mess again.

The descent to Sabaody takes forever; long enough for Sanji to prepare and serve dinner. It’s actually quite a meal, featuring each of the Straw Hats’ favorite dishes – meat on the bone, cheeseburgers, sandwiches, even rice balls for Zoro. It is great to be home, defending his food from Luffy’s sticky hands and dodging the peas that Usopp has been launching across the table. Dinners on the Sunny are no calm event, but Zoro loves it. He loves the chaos of it all.

Normally, Zoro is one of the first few out of the kitchen. He usually has something better to be doing like training, napping, or getting pulled into playing tag with Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper. But Zoro has questions, about Sanji’s whole gender thing, and he can’t just ask that in front of everyone. Hell, it’s embarrassing enough to ask the cook about it.

Zoro sits at the table long after he’s finished his dinner, even after everyone has left. He watches as the cook cleans up and washes dishes, ignoring Zoro’s stare the whole time. She doesn’t even try to start a fight, which is unusual, because usually if Zoro stares for that long it’s like asking for a shoe to the face.

Finally, Sanji has apparently had enough. The dishes are washed, dried, and put away. There is nothing else to do in the kitchen, so they turn to Zoro, planting their hands on the island bar and leaning over.

“I’ll bite, is there a reason why you’re watching me, marimo?” He starts. It carries the usual tone of annoyance, but maybe a little more. “This ain’t about earlier, is it? Better not be, cause I will–”

Zoro interrupts by shaking his head. “It’s not… Well, it’s not what you’re thinking. I just. I don’t get it,” he mumbles, staring down at the table in front of him, one hand coming up to play with his earrings the way he does when he’s stressed. He can still feel Sanji staring at him, and he waves his hand, gesturing at nothing. “The, uh, the gender thing. I’m having trouble understanding it. I want to understand it.” He looks up, meeting Sanji’s eyes. Sanji sighs.

“Ok, well which part don’t you get? I don’t really know how else to explain it, other than what I said earlier. Sometimes I feel like a man, sometimes a woman, sometimes in between.” Sanji starts. He speaks slowly, as if he were explaining this to a baby or something. Slightly annoying, but Zoro doesn’t push it.

Zoro furrows his brow, frustrated about the explanation, because it doesn’t really explain anything . At least, not the way Zoro needs. “That’s the thing! What the hell does feeling like a man feel like?”

Sanji falls quiet. “The hell do you mean?” Zoro can hear the usual burning edge to her words, the fight he’s used to. He doesn’t want to make Sanji mad, goddamnit, he wants to understand! Sanji takes an angry hit of their cigarette, blowing smoke in Zoro’s direction. Zoro glares back.

“I mean, how do you know when you’re a man? Since you’re other things sometimes, how do you tell the difference?”

“What’s this about, marimo?”

“Just.. Just answer the question! My reason doesn’t matter!”

“Okay, just… give me a minute, okay? It’s a weird ass question, you caught me off guard.” Zoro nods and leans back on the bench, satisfied for now. Sanji sits down on one of the barstools, spinning slowly as they think.

“I mean, to start off, did you know all this gender thing is fake?” Sanji speaks up after a moment, stopping so he is facing Zoro. “One of my, uh, friends? Yeah, one of my friends back in Kamabakka told me that everything we know about gender is just gender roles. It’s what we tell each gender they’re supposed to do or feel, not what gender actually is. Like, some people think women are just supposed to cook and clean and be quiet while men are supposed to go off and make money for the family. The way my old geezer raised me, women are better than men, and we’re supposed to protect and serve them in any way we can. It’s really different from person to person.”

Sanji pauses to take another hit as she continues. “Let's see… To me, being a man still feels more like responsibility. But there's more, too. Masculinity is loud and brash, it’s like a jungle or like the sea during a storm. The way my legs heat up when I do Diable Jambe, that feels manly too. But it’s different from when I feel like a woman; that’s all light and airy and stuff. It’s like helping Nami-san take care of her tangerines, or laughing with my crew and getting compliments on my food. Femininity is like caring for people, while masculinity is taking responsibility. And then there’s some times when it’s more than that… when I feel charged up and everything is uncertain but it doesn’t need to make sense. It’s like the early mornings when I’m the only one awake, or the moment before lightning strikes.” Sanji pauses, smiling, clearly patting themself on the back. “Eh, I’ve never had to think about how to describe it all before. I think Iva-san would be proud. That help at all, marimo?”

Zoro sits silent for a while, trying to take it all in. He’s never felt like… like a forest, or a storm, or like his legs are heating up. He had taken responsibility for things plenty of times, but it wasn’t related to his gender or anything, it was just what he had to do. There’s one thing that definitely stands out about Sanji’s descriptions, though.

“So, being a man, it doesn’t ever feel like you’re just performing it? It’s not like a job?”

Sanji just… blinks at Zoro, then they stand up and start moving around the kitchen again. He pulls down a mug and starts brewing some tea. Zoro isn’t a big tea person, but he still understands the gesture.

“No, it doesn’t feel like a job.” Sanji finally says after filling the kettle and placing it on the stove. “It used to, though. Before I discovered all of this, and the possibility that I could just not be a man. You feel like it is?”

Zoro ignores Sanji’s gaze, suddenly very interested in the top of the dinner table. He knows Sanji understands, though, as she continues to talk. “I won’t press you, cause god knows I hated it when Iva-san did that to me. But just think about it, okay? There’s a lot out there, and the crew won’t care, you saw them today.” Sanji pauses to place the mug of tea in front of Zoro. “I won’t tell anyone either. But don’t start expecting me to be nice to you or anything! We’re still enemies!”

Zoro grins. He knows that he and Sanji aren’t really enemies, they haven’t been in a long time. Sanji learning to accept themself had helped the both of them a lot, and they’re closer to friends at this point. Sanji knows it too, but they have reputations to keep! Still, it’s pretty nice. Sanji doesn’t treat Zoro like it’s anything weird or shameful, he just understands and explains and lets it be. She nods at Zoro, straightening up to leave the kitchen. “Oh, and you’re washing your own mug! Don’t get lost on the way to the cabinets, marimo!” she adds as an afterthought, ducking out of the doorway before Zoro can send him a glare.

----------

Zoro stands outside the door to Robin’s library, mug of tea in hand, for about ten minutes, just trying to work up the courage to enter. He feels so stupid, being scared to ask his crewmate to borrow a book. While talking with Sanji had helped, just a little, Zoro still has a lot of questions.

He is staring into his mug weighing his options and thinking that he might just come back tomorrow when Robin opens the door. She seems surprised to see him, almost dropping the book in her hands. As usual, she recovers gracefully, donning her usual closed-eye smile.

“My, it’s certainly rare to see you here, Swordsman-san. Is there something I can help you with?” she greets, holding the door open and beckoning Zoro inside.

“Uh, yeah, but if you were leaving–” Zoro tries to deflect. I’m not ready for this, he thinks. He hasn’t felt so uncertain in a long time.

“Oh, I insist!” Robin asserts. “It’s no trouble at all. What can I help you with?”

Zoro looks up at her, at her kind eyes and non-judgemental smile. He knows that Sanji was right last night when they told him that the crew wouldn’t mind if Zoro ended up not being a man. He knows that Robin, especially, wouldn’t mind. He recalls a day from two years ago, when Luffy had suddenly found interest in the book Robin was reading and she had confessed she was transgender as well. That moment had felt so inconsequential back then; it was just another instance of Zoro’s captain and crew bonding. But today, it feels like a lifeline.

Zoro takes a deep breath to steady himself. “Yeah, actually, I was looking for a book. I don’t know the name though.”

“That’s no problem at all. Do you know what kind of book it is?” Robin asks.

Zoro scratches at the back of his head. “Uh, yeah. Do you remember that book you and Luffy were reading a couple years ago? He just wanted to look at the pictures, though, I think.”

Robin brings one hand up to hide her lips as she takes a tiny gasp. “Yes, I know exactly which book you’re talking about. Let me go pull it down for you.” Robin pats Zoro’s shoulders as she walks away, gesturing at the benches that surround the library. “You can take a seat, if you want. I can leave you alone, too. I’ll just continue my own reading.”

Zoro sits and nods, feeling a little overwhelmed. He hadn’t planned on telling Robin why he was here, exactly, but Robin knows everything anyways and he does find her company to be very comforting. Robin is something like what Zoro imagines an older sister might be like.

“I, uh. I think I would like that, but…” Zoro is unsure of what he’s asking, letting his voice drop out as he continues thinking.

“I’ll stay down here the whole time, if that’s what you want. And you can always ask for help.” Robin pats Zoro’s shoulder again as she passes him the book. “I’m just across the room, okay?”

Zoro is grateful, so grateful for Robin’s easy going nature. He shudders a bit as he opens the book, looking for the chapter on gender identities.

The first thing Zoro notices is just how many there are. There’s like, a thousand, each one with a different name and flag and description. It’s a lot for him to take in at once.

Breathe, Zoro, something in the back of his mind tells him. Just go through it one at a time. Zoro sighs. He already knows he isn’t trans the way that Luffy and Robin are, and he’s pretty sure he’s not genderfluid the way the cook is either. That narrows down his search, at least a little.

As Zoro flips through the pages, he just finds himself feeling more and more lost and frustrated. All these terms are swimming around in his head. And to make matters worse, a lot of them seem to rely on what a person is already feeling. Zoro… Zoro doesn’t actually know what he’s feeling. He’s had this vague notion that he wasn’t quite a man for a long time, but he’s also been acting as one for long enough that it still feels like part of him. He’s getting tempted to just slam the book closed and call it a night, but he really doesn’t want to find out what happens if he mistreats Robin’s books. He has a feeling it won’t be pretty.

“Are you doing alright over there, Swordsman-san?” Robin calls, momentarily stirring Zoro from his thoughts. She has worry written all over her face. “You seem a bit frustrated.”

“I am, but I’m okay.” Zoro reassures her as he continues reading. Then, he hits upon the definition.

Agender , the book reads. A person who feels a lack of a gender identity, or does not feel a strong relation to any gender identity. An absence of gender.

There is a second paragraph below, from an agender person describing how they feel about their own identity. It was really hard for me to figure out for a long time, the author starts , because I just didn’t want to face it. I was comfortable enough living with my own assigned gender. But whenever I think of myself and the words I would use to describe myself, my gender isn’t one of them. I was raised one way, sure, but that is as far as the connection goes. I don’t feel like a man or a woman, I just feel like me.

Zoro chokes on his breath. He studies the image of the flag next to it, and another memory from two years ago pops up in his head. “This flag looks like Zoro,” Luffy had said, and Robin agreed because of the colors. The agender flag has green, white, and black stripes. This is the flag that matched him two years ago, and now with the definition…

Zoro breathes in quickly. His heart is racing, hammering against his ribcage like a drum. He thinks back to what Sanji told him earlier, about sometimes feeling like more than a man or a woman. Zoro hadn’t understood it then, still doesn’t really grasp it. But he knows that he doesn’t feel what Sanji was describing. But if nothing is an option…

When Zoro tries to think about his gender identity, it is just his role as a man. He does what men do because that’s how he was raised, that’s what everyone told him to be. That’s his only connection to it. If he thinks any further than that… there’s nothing. He’s always just felt like Zoro , not Zoro the man or Zoro the woman or Zoro the anything else. Just Zoro, nothing more.

Agender. It certainly seems to fit.

And that thought is so world-changing, so scary, so new that Zoro doesn’t know how to handle it. Consequences be damned, he shuts the book quickly and tosses it onto the table, rushing out of the library. Robin stands up and calls after him, but Zoro just ignores her. All he wants to do is run, run away to when things were simpler, when he didn’t have to think about being different. He hurries into the boy’s room and huddles in his bunk, ignoring his crew for the rest of the night.

----------

Fishman Island is a disaster, of course, complete with princesses, some of Arlong’s disciples, and some very valuable revelations about the Poneglyphs for Robin. Zoro does his best to turn his brain off and focus on drinking the castle dry, eating delicious food prepared by the royal staff, and fighting. He ignores the whole gender issue. It wasn’t important for the first twenty-one years of Zoro’s life, so it can’t be that important now.

Sure, the realization that Zoro didn’t have to be a man was a weight off his shoulders. He didn’t have to “perform” if he wasn’t a man. But Zoro had almost gotten comfortable in the performance. He pretty much knew how to be a man. Why try to change things if they were working out already?

It becomes much harder to ignore after they resurface. Out on the open ocean, Zoro can’t rely on enemies to take his frustrations out on. He has to actually face this himself.

He’s especially irritable that day, mostly hiding in the bunk room and trying to nap. Zoro is usually very good at napping, but he can’t seem to calm his mind. No matter how much he tries to avoid thinking about it, the question of Zoro’s gender identity never leaves his mind.

He spots Robin and Sanji having a hushed discussion in the kitchen that afternoon. He just wanted a beer, because maybe the alcohol could push his thoughts back, but as soon as he enters the kitchen Robin and Sanji jump apart. Zoro doesn’t hear any of their discussion, but he has a pretty good idea what it might be about.

Luffy is the one to finally approach Zoro. He does it at night, when most of the crew has already gone to bed, except for Brook keeping watch in the crow’s nest. Zoro is leaning over the rail, flicking bottle caps over Sunny’s edge so he can watch them hit the water far below.

Luffy doesn’t say anything at first, just slowly walks up to Zoro and stands next to him. Zoro knows Luffy is watching him, analyzing him in that weird way he does. Luffy somehow knows things about people that they don’t yet know about themselves just from watching them, and usually Zoro really admires that, but he doesn’t want that knowing gaze turned on him. Especially not now.

But at the same time, it’s Luffy. Luffy who would never even dream of doing anything that might hurt his crew. Luffy, who sees the best in people, who has never judged his friends. Not when Nami claimed she was one of Arlong’s pirates, not when Robin was framed for shooting Iceburg, not when Usopp almost let his insecurities separate him from the crew. Luffy had nothing bad to say to Robin or Sanji when they came out, and he wouldn’t have anything bad to say to Zoro, either.

Zoro throws the last of his bottle caps overboard. There’s no way to avoid this. He sighs and sits down, back against the railing, and Luffy follows him down.

“What’s up, Zoro? Has something been on your mind?” Luffy starts.

“Luffy, how did you know you were a boy?” Zoro deflects. It doesn’t begin to address Zoro’s own issues, but he just needs to ease in for now.

Luffy looks a little surprised, but doesn’t push Zoro. “I actually always thought I was a boy. I didn’t know that my body was different to the other boys I knew, and I didn’t understand why people treated me differently when they met me. Everyone in the village called me a tomboy, so I thought I was a boy.” Luffy’s face softens for a moment, and he lets out a small laugh. “I really surprised Dadan and Ace the first time she tried to give us a bath. But when I told them I was a boy just like Ace, they didn’t push it, and they let me grow up as a boy.” Luffy trails off a little, but nods when he finishes his thought. He looks at Zoro again, and Zoro swears those eyes are seeing right through him. “Are you… questioning? Do you think you might not be a boy?” He asks, cutting straight through the bullshit and right to the core of Zoro’s problem.

All Zoro can do is nod weakly and stare at the floor. “I asked Sanji for help and she helped me a little, and I asked Robin to look at her books but it all just made me more frustrated. I don’t want to face myself, right now. It all just feels wrong.” Zoro’s face feels hot, he isn’t used to this kind of heart-to-heart and he’s starting to feel really embarrassed and–

Luffy reaches out, crossing the divide between them, and places his hand on Zoro’s. “You’re still the same Zoro you were before, right? Nothing’s gonna change, we’re just gonna see you as you.”

Zoro lifts his head up and stares at Luffy. He knows his jaw is hanging open, and he can’t bring himself to close it. Still the same Zoro… how does Luffy always know just the right thing to say?

“Do you want me to go get Robin’s book? We can look at it again, maybe I can help–”

Zoro shakes his head and smiles at Luffy. “No, it’s okay. I think I know which one I am. I was scared, though, about what it might change. I don’t want to change.”

Luffy laughs. “Nothing is going to change, Zoro. Well, hopefully you feel happier, cause you get to be who you really are. But that’s not scary, that’s a good thing!” Luffy’s eyes are bright and his hand is warm on Zoro’s.

“Yeah… happier, huh.” Zoro breathes out. He never really thought about what comes after his realization, but happiness… well that always sounds nice. Under the moonlight, with Luffy holding his hand and watching over him, Zoro is a little less scared to face himself and the truth that he has probably known this whole time.

“Well, Captain…” Zoro stops himself, clears his throat, and starts again. Right now, this is a conversation between friends, not captain and crew. “Well, Luffy… I’m not a boy. I’m agender.”

Luffy is on him in a second, wrapping him in a tight hug and threatening to knock them both overboard. Luffy is laughing and so is Zoro as they rearrange themselves to sit side-by-side, now looking out over the water.

“I’m proud of you, Zoro.” Luffy whispers, and Zoro feels warm in spite of himself. “So, do you know what this means from now on? Are you gonna change how we refer to you, like Sanji did?”

Zoro stills. He has been so caught up in denying everything, he never thought about what comes next. Slowly, he shakes his head. “I… I haven’t thought about it yet.”

“That’s okay! You can think about it now.” Luffy swings his legs over the side of the ship and leans into Zoro’s side. “Are you feeling better now? Do you wanna tell everyone soon?”

Zoro ponders it for a minute. He is feeling better, a lot better than when Luffy had found him. He knows the crew will be accepting, just like they were for Luffy and Robin and Sanji. If telling everyone can finally get this weight off of Zoro’s chest, he’s ready. He leans into Luffy, feeling the rough texture of the straw hat tickle his cheek. “Yeah, I think I’ll be ready soon. Thank you, Luffy.”

“It’s no problem, Zoro.”

Even after his talk with Luffy, the idea of coming out is still terrifying. Normally, the words “Zoro” and “scared” don’t even go in the same sentence. But there is something so much more real, more personal, about this. Zoro’s gender isn’t some enemy he can cut up. It’s him. And he’s trying to adjust to this new view of himself.

He talks to Robin first. He thanks her for letting him use her book, and apologizes for slamming it shut. He tells her how he knew that the term agender fit him, but that it freaked him out, and he tells her about his talk with Luffy. Robin is a patient listener, and she tells Zoro that she doesn’t blame him. “I figured that you saw something that fit you. I also had a hard time accepting myself. It’s normal to be unsure and afraid, but thank you for telling me.” She reassures.

His talk with Sanji isn’t as calm or patient, but it gets the job done. He thanks Sanji for helping him figure things out, using as few words as he can. Sanji teases back, but nothing she says is hurtful. They just acknowledge that Zoro feels differently, but there’s nothing to say about it, really. Zoro appreciates that sort of understanding.

Nami tells the crew that their next island is about three days away, provided that nothing gets in their way. Slim chance of nothing getting in their way, but Zoro is thankful to know. He spends three days getting comfortable. He tries out different pronouns in secret with Robin, Luffy, and Sanji, and he is pleased to realize that being referred to as “they” doesn’t feel as weird as he thought it would.

Zoro finally tells the crew over dinner on the third day. Sanji made rice bowls; a giant pot of rice and three different kinds of meat as well as tons of veggies for the crew to choose from. Zoro loves rice bowls almost as much as rice balls, but he’s sure he never told Sanji that. Sanji doesn’t mention it, so Zoro doesn’t either.

Zoro had already told Luffy and Robin he was going to do it tonight, so they are sitting on either side of him. Luffy is playing with Zoro’s free hand under the table, waiting for Zoro’s signal to call attention to him.

Zoro nods at Luffy, signaling that he’s ready. Well, he’s not, but it’s now or never. Time to take the leap.

Luffy sets his silverware down and addresses the rest of the table. “Hey, everyone, Zoro has something to say. He’s nervous, so be nice.” The last sentence is teasing, and everyone knows it. They aren’t going to be mean to Zoro, and considering how similar his nervous energy was to Sanji’s just a few weeks ago, they have an inkling of what Zoro might need to tell them.

“I don’t know how to start this,” Zoro admits. Luffy takes off his hat and plops it down on Zoro’s head, and the gesture is so meaningful , it gives Zoro the push he needs. Zoro forges on ahead.

“Ok, uh, I guess it starts with the cook. A few days ago, when they came out, it uh… it kinda impacted me a lot too. I didn’t actually know that there was anything other than just man and woman, so it made me question a lot of things.” Sanji’s face looks weird; it’s red like she’s embarrassed but there’s a hint of… happiness? somewhere in there. Robin rubs Zoro’s back to encourage him.

“Well, once I knew I wasn’t just limited to being a man, it made a lot of things from my past make sense. I’ve never exactly felt like a man, I just did it because I thought it’s what I had to do. So what I’m saying is I’m not a man, I’m not really anything, in fact. I’m agender. No gender, just me.”

Luffy is smiling next to him and Robin and Chopper are both wrapping him in a hug. Nami teases Zoro about how emotional he’s become, but she’s proud of him too. So is everyone else. It’s a lot… but it’s still nice. Sanji just nods approvingly, and it reminds Zoro of how he reacted to Sanji’s coming out.

Before anyone else can ask Zoro, he speaks up again. “Oh, and for the pronoun thing. It’s he/they. Kinda like the cook’s, but no she.” Everyone nods and accepts it.

Zoro really, really loves their crew. They never thought they would reach this level of happiness, of acceptance. He supposes he should have known when Luffy accepted his dream without any argument, accepted everyone’s dreams no matter how crazy they were. Once Luffy declares someone as nakama , he is never letting go, and Zoro is so grateful that he chose to follow someone like that. They couldn’t dream of a life that was any different.

Zoro is feeling a bit awkward, so he’s glad when other conversations pick back up and dinner resumes. Usopp asks Zoro if this means they’re gonna be the world’s greatest swords person , and Zoro says that’s stupid, and the table fills with laughter. The night is still young and Zoro is surrounded by people they love and nothing has ever felt better.

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