#I really do piss myself off sometimes LMAO

[ghastlybin]

Twice Sana soulmate AU WHEN? (please)

How about at 4AM on a Sunday morning, yeah? Also, THANK YOU FOR YOUR REQUEST! <3333 ily :))

Pairing: Sana x GN Reader

FT: Jihyo (my love)

Word count: 1.4k

Genre/contents: Soulmate! AU, Fluff... I hope.

Note: I had fun writing this although I do wish I was better at fluffy topics lol there was an attempt! I hope you like it though and uhhh please be honest if it sucks, but in a constructive criticism type of way pls... Also I love Sana so thank you again! And y'all know I'm whipped for Jihyo. If there are typos, ignore them- I will come back later, only some much I can function at 4 AM. Goodnight/ morning btw! Adios, for now.

Y’all ever have a gif give you butterflies?

Living the same day would be great if you weren’t already living the same day.

You wake up, get yourself ready for the day, leave the house, walk to your job, work until you’re exhausted and then you go home and end the day where you started— In your bed.

It was the way you tripped on the curb after crossing the street to the other side. Not once, not twice, but ten total times.

Embarrassingly enough, every time, you just thought you were clumsy. That tripping at that same curb would be an everyday occurrence until you switch up your routine.

You’d have thought after the third time, you’d at least be more careful.

But with you accidentally sleeping in and rushing to get to work on time, it always slipped your mind.

“Welcome! Anything I can do for you?”

The words that were now ingrained in your mind and wired in your program, greeting customers as they came and left. It was the same customers every time. And again, you hadn’t noticed until after the fourth loop. Maybe it was because interactions with each customer went by quickly or just that there had been so many people coming and going that they became a blur in your memory.

You were finally in your loop. The only problem was, you’ve been in this loop ten times and your eleventh started in an hour.

You had one hour left and still haven’t found out who your soulmate was. You even calculated how many people you’ve interacted with and who were mere bystanders.

You figured your soulmate would be relatively easy to find, acknowledging the fact that they too would be stuck in the same loop until you two found each other.

Just look for the other person also frantically trying to interact with everyone they came across, trying to get out of the loop.

It wasn’t that easy. Not when every single person you’ve come across showcased any changes in their behavior.

“Welcome. Anything I can do for you?”

And like a broken record, you were back at your job, the loop repeating for the eleventh time.

∞

Her name was Sana.

And like you, she noticed the loop too.

It was at the mark of the third loop when she realized she finally got close enough to her soulmate to trigger what was called, ‘The Looping Event’.

It was something most dreamed of no matter what types of hell they had to go through just to find their soulmates in the midst of crowds.

Some were lucky, finding their soulmates during the second loop. Some were still in their loops.

Sana always wondered how someone could tell whether someone was in a loop. According to sources, the soulmates will disappear for however long it takes them to find each other while other sources say time freezes until the loop completes.

Then again, how would you be able to tell if time is frozen?

Sana was on a walk around the time the loop started. The one time she took a different route than usual for her morning walk. She wondered what would happen if her usual route hadn’t been blocked off by construction work.

By the start of the eleventh loop, she began to think she was placed inside of a loop by mistake. A freak accident that could very much be possible.

Then again, no one really knew the science behind the whole soulmates loop phenomenon. Sana’s walks turned into runs, rushing to interact with anyone she came across, wanting nothing more than to get back to her life and possibly start one with her soulmate— Wherever they were hiding.

Not once did it occur to her to start checking the shops she ran past.

Not once did it occur to you to just leave your job and look outside at the woman running and frantically interacting with those who remained outside.

It took eleven loops before it crossed your mind.

Eleven loops before Sana decided to enter every shop she came across.

By the end of loop eleven, neither of you found each other, commencing loop twelve.

∞

You and Sana woke up the morning of loop twelve at around the same time.

While Sana continued to go on her walk, so did you, skipping work entirely. You were in a loop, after all. What will they do? Fire you?

You would most likely wake up with your job again on the morning of loop thirteen anyway.

Sana ignored the people she previously interacted with. She even ignored the stores she entered that turned up to be futile.

You walked down the street, missing the curb this time and avoiding tripping over it.

“Ha… Eat shit.” You spoke too soon, bumping into a stop sign while you were looking at the curb as you made that remark. You cursed yourself for letting your guard down just to talk to a curb that would most likely trip you again.

“You know what they say about paying attention to stop signs, right?”

You squinted, rubbing the part of your shoulder that came crashing against the stop sign. A woman you haven’t come across was standing before you, and the excitement bubbled inside of you.

Please be my soulmate.

She formed a smile full of amusement, holding out her hand. “I’m Jihyo.”

“Ah… I’m Y/N.” You shook her hand, yet nothing seemed to change. “Are you my soulmate?”

Jihyo let out an awkward laugh, the tilt of her head and furrowing of her eyebrows told you all you needed to know.

“Soulmate? No. I was just looking for my friend but then I saw you talking to the curb and now you probably have a bruise on your shoulder.” Jihyo sucked her teeth followed by the soft shaking of her head.

You began to laugh hysterically, on the verge of crying when Jihyo turned around, hearing the sound of another woman’s voice. You calmed yourself down long enough to see if this other woman was your soulmate or someone you already came across.

“Sana! There you are. What happened to walking together?” Jihyo crossed her arms as the woman panted, doing a double-take when she saw you standing with Jihyo.

Then it happened. The end of the loop.

∞

In the blink of an eye, you were back in your bed without any recollection of how you got back home. The first thing you did was checking the date and time.

You were now twelve days in the future, finally caught up with everyone.

Sana. The woman you made eye contact with after meeting Jihyo.

You immediately ran outside, jumping over the curb and avoiding the stop sign successfully as you ran past your workplace and down the sidewalk Sana met up with Jihyo— And you, on.

Down the sidewalk, you saw the distant figure of Sana, who was running towards you as well. Both of you seemingly had the same idea first thing that morning.

Coming to an abrupt stop, you both looked at each other, feeling as if you’ve known each other for years. The similar feeling other found soulmates have felt.

“Sana?” You breathed out, catching your breath. Sana beamed, throwing her arms around you despite barely meeting.

“Y/N? Took you long enough!” Sana chuckled with excitement.

“Did Jihyo tell you my name?” You asked, surprised that she already knew your name despite telling Jihyo before Sana joined.

“How do you know Jihyo?” Sana asked, releasing you from the hold she had you in. You struggled to respond, unsure how to explain yourself. But Sana laughed, lightly slapping your arm.

“I’m joking! She said we met twelve days ago… But she doesn’t believe the loop actually happened.”

“Then how are we twelve days in the future?” You were confused, to say the least. The concept of the ‘Looping Event phenomenon’ was confusing.

Sana sheepishly laughed, shrugging. “Crazy, isn’t it?”

You allowed yourself to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

“Hey, could be worse,” You massaged the part of your shoulder where you hit on the stop sign during the loop. “We could be one of those soulmates that are still stuck in the loop.”

Sana gave you a horrified look, “I don’t think I could handle a loop that long.”

You reached for her hand with a smile, accompanying her on a walk down the street.

“Are you ready for the start of forever, Sana?”

“Hasn’t it already started?”

[outeremissary]

You know I spent a lot of time reading Nuzlocke comics and fics as a teen and I think that really shaped my understanding of approaches to canon in fandom. Like there's fandom you're doing straight and trying to be faithful to the material on, and then there's fandom like a lot of the Good Stuff on Nuzlockes and wacked out chess AUs where you're somewhere on the sliding scale of remixes from "playing fast and loose with the base material" to "reality is whatever makes the story fun. heart." And they're both valid. God I fucking love how insane Nuzlocke comics could get.

[elsa-fogen]

what do you think about the fact that al likes doodling?

i have a head canon that he has some sort of scrapbook or sketchbook full of little doodles of things going on at the hotel and just in his life, I feel like he would draw really stick-figureish (is that a word?) but I read a fic that depicted it as the same art style as an Invader-Zim obsessed scene girl and I could not stop cackling.

I also feel like he would either guard it with his life from everyone (exception to Rosie, of course) or just not bother to tell anyone and one day they just find him doodling schoolgirl style, kicking his legs in the air, LMAO NEW THOUGHT WHAT IF CHARLIE OR LUCIFER FOUND IT

OH! OH! Now that you mentioned it - i LOVE that about him! I just absolutely ADORE little thing he made for the add in the first episode. And i love this fact because 1) he's the first character i like that likes to draw canonically (okay maybe also toothless from httyd?) 2) Me and Alastor share so many similarities, and even drawing???? This just makes me love him even more (i'm sure we would hate each other irl tho AHAHHAHAHA or maybe not, idk)

SO, SINCE ME AND AL ARE SO SIMILAR, I'M GONNA PROJECT ON HIM MY DRAWING HABITS >:3c Forgive me this one, i usualy don't do that, i usualy project characters on myself haha

He DOES have sketchbooks just to draw, and they are ORGANISED. He's numbers every sketchbook and counts every drawing in them since the first one. He also has two numbers for each page - through one sketchbook and through them all. He has over 300 of sketchbooks by now (I have less, only 56). They are stashed somewhere in a very safe place.

Every sketchbook has a date of first and last drawing. Also amount of drawings. It looks like: NOTEBOOK 253 (number of sketchbook, also he doesn't call them sketchbooks) 03.06.1978-05.07.1978 (dates while it was active) 119 (amount of drawings) 29961-30080 (which numbers of drawings are in this sketchbook) He would cound something else, but he's just too busy to spend time on it. He can remember something thinking about what he was drawing in that period and vice versa

He used to draw at overlords meetings, pissing off Carmila and everyone else, because it looked like he hadn't listened to them, so Carmila banned drawing at overlords meetings (Alastor is still angry about it)

But he doesn't progress too much - most of his progress was made through first 10-20 sketchbooks, now he only has slight style changes sometimes when he feels like it

Tho he's really proud of his current skill and used to think that he's literally the best (used to get angry when reminded that it's not true) (now he kinda knows, but still likes his own drawings, doesn't accept criticism and doesn't try to purposely improve)

He likes showing his drawings to people, he knows and if he does, you have to say that it's literally So Cool, show enthusiasm turning pages and say that everything is just amazing. If you don't, he'll be OFFENDED. He also can leave a sketchbook opened on a page with a drawing he likes the most, and it's like a sign "NOTICE THAT I'M DRAWING AND SAY THAT YOU LIKE IT"

If he considers you a friend (well not like Rosie, but at least like Charlie), he'll be showing you his drawings regularly (and you have to be enthusiastic about it!!!!!!) He has showed it to Charlie, but somehow her enthusiasm is... too much. She's too patronising about it. He also shows his things to Husk, he knows that Husk is annoyed and doesn't give a shit, and he just enjoys his annoyance. He also shows his drawings to Niffty and she gives him Just Right amount and vibe of enthusiasm. (He sometimes draws something for her fanfiction if he likes something enough and enjoys Niffty's reaction (she explodes from happiness)). BUT!!!!! He never shows anything to Mimzy. Because she's like, person from the real life, and he feels like she would laugh at it. To Rosie he shows only things he considers his best and her opinion is the most important to him. He can even forgive her criticism (wouldn't take it tho) (she never critisizes him and absolutely ADORES his drawings). Angel kinda likes his drawings, but isn't enthusiastic about them enough

He doesn't take requests (Angel tried "draw me like one of your french girls" shit, Alastor never did (also his ass did not get the reference and he was like "i dont??? have??? any french girls????")) (Vox also tried to make Alastor draw something for him, Alastor was just "that's interesting, i'll think about it" and never thought of it again)

SOME OF HIS DRWINGS TURNED OUT TO BE PROPHECIES but he notices that only when something happens and then he goes back to his old sketchbooks and accidentally finds it. They are just coincidenses tho, but it's fun and Alastor makes a big deal from it and screams to Rosie like "I PREDICTED THAT SHIT 27 YEARS AGO" when finds out. (it's how i predicted many plot points from SU and literally TOH hunter's possession before the show even was a thing JHJDFJHFGJFDHKH i wonder if i predicted something from Hazbin, i need to look through my sketchbooks now)

If you dare to mess with his drawings and vandalise them... oh... you better pray to whatever god you belive in to make your sufferings be enough to redeem your sins and go to heven.

[thatsexcpisces]

Astrology observations pt.9 🌌💙🌀🦋

Disclaimer: again, these are just my experiences and personal observations on things I’ve encountered, I’m not a professional astrologer or saying that these are always correct.

Virgo risings have such a naturally beautiful “clean girl” look or are a perfect example of the “clean girl” aesthetic

Gemini and Pisces mercuries have a true talent when it comes to lying. They’re amazing of thinking quick on their feet or making up lies to get out of something because their excuses are so damn CREATIVE

I’ve noticed that almost every Pisces moon has puppy dog eyes. (Especially the men) It’s so easy for me to spot Pisces moons or other water moons because they just have these adorable doe eyes or their eyes look like those of lost puppies idk how to explain it💀 this is specifically something I see the most in cancer and Pisces moons, Scorpio moon’s eyes are also “puppy dog” but more intense.

Ex.) Michael Jackson, kanye west, and Ben stiller all have their moon in Pisces and they just have THAT look. Yk what I mean?? 💀

Capricorn Venus/Venus in 10h house people tend to kiss up to those who are popular or have some sort of prominent status because they want to be around people they think will make them look good

People with the same element of their rising sign tend to become friends or attract each other.

��� For example, earth risings May tend to attract friends or become friends that have earth rising top. (Cap, Virgo, Taurus rising.) I’m a Libra rising and my closest friends have usually been other Libra risings and Aquarius risings.

People with Virgo in the big 3 are goody two- shoes

Most Libra moons I’ve met have luxurious or comfortable home lives like they may have a good relationship with their family and are the type to have an aesthetic home routine (ex. My friend has a Libra moon and her family always bakes together or they sit and watch a movie together at their mountain house and drink hot chocolate & shit like that lmao)

Pluto in 2h people truly are obsessed with their money and possessions. As someone with this placement myself, I can say that the most Pluto 2h thing I did was hide even the smallest amounts of money in the most secretive places so they wouldn’t be stolen, not sleep unless I found that necklace or top that I realized went missing, and literally got in the faces of people who owed me money until I got that shit back😭

why do so many sun in Scorpio men get rejected so much by girls😭 this is just something I noticed but most of them tend to feel unlucky in love either cause they’re very active pursuers when they’re interested in someone and sometimes come off a bit too strong and then they end up feeling insecure abt themselves after getting shut down by their love Interests. They’re so hot tho

Venus-Neptune aspect people: how’s it going idealizing and fantasizing about your crush that are really not as amazing as you’re making them seem?

Scorpio Venus people’s flirting style is staring at you intensely but not approaching you or saying anything

Leo risings and moons would rather swallow a jean jacket and DIE then to have people see them at their worst or see that stuff they’ve been bragging about and “good stuff” happening in their life that they talk about to people to impress them and be popular, is not actually true or happened lol. They’re always keep that perfect image of themselves to others

Capricorn risings have this face where it looks like they literally couldn’t care less about you or anything you’re saying. Or they just look bored of being in your presence and wanna leave

Don’t piss of a Gemini moon. They take revenge through their biggest strength: gossiping and then spreading that shit. They’ll have the whole building hate you a day later over some rumor they made up of you and managed to convince others is true

If you have Venus in your 12th house you’re gonna go through many karmic relationships in your life time

Libra risings can be the darkest or shittiest people on the inside but that Venus-ruled aura or just their looks or the way they carry themselves will literally make people delusional into thinking they’re an angel on earth

Pisces in big 3 culture is being told “why is your head always in the clouds? ” or “are you even listening to what I’m saying?” Constantly because those daydreams will literally get the best of them

Aquarius And Capricorn men when they were younger give me the vibes of those nerds in school who literally don’t care what anyone thinks and won’t have an issue calmly roasting or talking back to a bully but would never be able to physically fight them instead they just use sarcastic and monotone sentences to win. 💀

Fixed sign moons especially Scorpio moons attract so many people who are possessive and obsess over them

If a Sagittarius moon feels betrayed by you or is angry with you to the point that you did something they can’t ever forgive, they won’t bother getting revenge or being upset and shady with you. They will simply just erase your existence from their life and forget about you. They can still act nice and behave normally with you but that’s only because they master indifference and the concept of acting like you just came and left, which will hurt you the most.

I swear Mercury in the 5h or 8h people house think about sex on a daily basis omg

Aquarius and Sagittarius Venuses always attract each other somehow. They’re a good pairing

[springseasonie]

Hate me more | LMH (M)

Enemies to lovers, Camp counselors Mark x Fem reader

Summary: You really dislike Mark and you're pretty sure he dislikes you too. Ever since he came to the camp last year, he's been nothing short of a headache to you. And now you're forced to work with him this summer, and his mission is clearly to piss you off.

Warnings: sexual content, heavy dubcon/cnc themes, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), kissing (shocker), Mark is annoying, so is the reader tbh, may be errors even though proof read

Word count: 7,7k

Song recs: kiss by NCT dojaejung (this is my way of promoting the unit go stream)

A/N: I was gonna write something for the release of golden hour but this took a bit longer than expected 😭 10 days later an I finally finished it lmao please give feedback if you want it's always appreciated

"Okay kiddos make sure you have all your things before we go back to the cabins okay?"

"Yes Ms. Y/N!"

You gave them a thumbs up as you leaned on a tree, waiting for all the kids to pack up. This was your life every summer for the past 4 years. Being a camp counselor was a lot of work the first time, but by the end of the summer, you had to come back. You loved your kids and they loved you. The staff was always so welcoming and nice. That was true until Mark started the third summer.

He was such an asshole. All the other female counselors gushed over him and his looks. He was constantly flirting with everyone, using his looks and charisma to get himself out of shit. It annoyed you, and Mark instantly took notice. He would side eye you all the time and talk about you as if you weren't friends with everyone else. He didn't really care though, he enjoyed being confronted by you every time he got "caught." Mark found your anger funny, never really taking you seriously.

And now you're paired to work with him this summer.

"Ms. Y/N, where is Mr. Mark? I need help getting something out a tree," one of the kids asked.

"That's a good question honey." You glanced around the area, looking over both shoulders to try and get a sign of him. And of course, he's nowhere to be found. "I don't see him around. We're just gonna have to wait for him okay?"

The little girl nods and runs back to her friends. Ten minutes go by and you start to get annoyed. This happened way more often than you would like to think. Mark disappears to do something or someone for way too long and you're left to take care of the kids by yourself. Sometimes, you almost think it's unbelievable how unreliable he is, sneaking away leaving you alone with 20 children in a forest. But then again, it's on brand for him.

5 more minutes went by and you start to get frustrated. You have no idea what he could be doing that's going to cause all of you to be late for dinner time. "Okay everyone please listen to me okay?" All the kids stop talking and turn to you. "I'm gonna go look for Mr. Mark, but I need all of you to sit in 5 rows of 4. Now." All the kids practically run to sit next to their friends and plop down on the floor.

"Good. None of you move or get up. If anything happens, scream at the top of your lungs okay? I'll be right back." All of the kids agreed as you turned to walk into the forest, going the way you last saw him.

"So fucking irresponsible," you muttered to yourself. "How the hell am I supposed to watch 20 kids by myself?"

You could still hear the kids, so you know you weren't too far away from the area or the trail. This wasn't new for you, always looking for him. It's only been a month since the both of you had to start working together, and he was already making shit hard for you. Mark liked to go hide somewhere. it was either to get away from you, the kids, or to get blown off by some staff member. You couldn't stand it.

"I mean seriously, can't he control himself for one fucking summer," you grumble. "Fucks everything that walks. What an ass."

"Well I wouldn't say that."

Your body jumped violently suddenly hearing his voice next to you. You whipped your head in his direction seeing him sitting, leaning in a tree. Mark had his ear buds in and from where you were standing, you could still hear the music playing.

"Where the hell were you," you asked angrily.

Mark stood up and dusted his pants off as he walked to you. You crossed your eyes, eyeing him up and down. He was so smug about everything. He always looked like something was amusing to him, like there was always a joke to tell.

"Here," he said.

"Clearly. And how the hell do you even have a working phone out here. There is literally no service."

Mark shrugged, wrapping the ear buds around his phone and putting it in his back pocket. "I downloaded stuff before I came."

"Whatever, let's go," you said, rolling your eyes.

"Where are the kids," he asked you, placing his hands in his pockets as he walked.

"In the same place I left them. I had to come get you like you were a lost child. Stop leaving me with all these kids."

Mark smiled in amusement as he walked behind you. You didn't really notice, but you tend to stomp when you are angry. And fortunately for Mark, it wasn't annoying. He actually found it cute, but he wouldn't tell you that.

"Can we take a break? My legs hurt," he whined teasingly.

"Mark, stop playing games. We have 20 kids in the forest waiting for us to come back and the sun will start setting soon," you replied, sighing heavily.

"Oh please we'll be okay."

And at this moment, you've just about had it with him. You turned around, lips pursed at his nonchalant response. Mark stopped in his tracks, looking up at you as you stood on the top of the small hill. "You have one more time to piss me off or I will report you. I'm not joking."

Mark's amused expression washed away as you turned around and kept walking. For the rest of the walk back, he said nothing. Soon enough, the both of you got back to the kids who were still sitting and chatting.

You sighed, groaning quietly. "I'm gonna do another headcount. You get that thing out of the tree."

"Why couldn't you just do it," he complained.

"Because- you know what, just get it out the tree."

You counted all of the kids, double and triple checking everyone and the area around you. Soon enough, Mark got the toy that was stuck in the tree out, and everyone was ready to leave. "Okay everyone you know the drill. Get your buddy and get in line. Mark, you'll watch the back."

"Didn't sound like a question," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I wasn't asking."

"I swear to you I will kill him if I'm ever alone with him again."

"He's really not that bad," Somi said, taking another bite of her pancake.

"Please, bad is an understatement," you say as you sit down. "He fucking left me with 20 kids, and then when we got back and I told him how dangerous that was, he says 'but you handled it, right?'"

Somi laughs, clearly amused at your story. You give her a confused look, not understanding why she wasn't siding with you. "Y/N, anything he says makes you angry."

"That's not the point!" Somi stops laughing when she sees how upset you are. "He left me and 20 kids in the forest near sunset to sit on his ass and listen to music. Then got an attitude with me because I was telling him what do when he wanted to act like a fucking child. I'm tired of it, Somi. I've been dealing with this for a month."

"Shit, I didn't think it was that serious," she said, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly.

"We literally could've had a bear encounter or something. I don't want to keep taking responsibility for his shit," you say, sighing heavily. "Anyways, I'm done complaining. Let's just eat."

You went to bed last night still completely angry at what happened in the forest. Mark didn't say anything to you walking back, but your conversation once you got back to the main camp was nothing short of unpleasant. It consisted of all your usual unpleasantries with him. Mark didn't really seem to care much though. You hated that you always let him get a rise out of you once you said you weren't going to do it anymore. And at this point, you had to get to the bottom of it.

You looked around the dining hall trying to find Mark. You knew he was there, he always came late after roughhousing with the kids in his cabin. Searching around some more, you spot him in line getting food. "I see him."

"Please don't harass the man," Somi begged you.

"Too late." You got up and walked to him. You really needed all this bad energy between the both of you to disappear. You weren't too sure about him, but it made every day difficult and you couldn't deal with it all summer. "Hey buddy," you said, tapping his shoulder.

"Didn't know we were friends."

The fake smile immediately turned into a frown. "Our conversation from last night isn't finished."

Mark groaned quietly as you followed his pace in the line. "Why do you keep bothering me if you don't like me?"

"I'm not bothering you, I'm trying to figure out what your deal is," you whisper yell. You followed Mark to his usual seat with the other male counselors, taking a seat right next to him. You were too focused on him to notice the confused stares you got from everyone else.

"Um, hey Y/N," Haechan greeted you awkwardly. "Is this…your new spot?"

"I came to talk to your friend if you don't mind."

"She's crazy," Mark blurted out, making the table laugh.

You smacked him on the arm, making him turn to you with the brightest smile you've seen all summer. And for some reason this was the first time you looked at him without feeling pure irritation. He was actually pretty…cute?

You couldn't look directly in the eyes, fearing that the anger you felt all morning would go away. Instead of speaking, you got up and went back to the table with Somi.

"So..what happened," she questioned.

"Nothing."

"You don't seem too upset by it," Somi observed.

"What..what are you talking about," you said, trying to deflect.

"You can't fool me, you're terrible at lying," she laughed. Somi took another bit of her pancake, but stopped laughing, giving you a look as if she found out something. "Do you like him?"

"Keep your voice down! And don't eat with your mouth full, you look like a damn kid."

"Y/N, do you like him?"

"Of course not! I can't stand the man," you deny.

Somi squints her eyes and side eyes you, but says nothing. You know she doesn't believe you, but it doesn't really matter because either way, you don't like him. "Okay..just know that today is your day to clean the kitchen."

"I know," you said with a sigh.

"And his also," she reminded you.

"Goodness kill me now."

-

You and Mark cleaned the dishes in the kitchen silently, not daring to say a word. There was an unspoken rule between the 2 of you at the moment, first person to speak surrenders to the other for the entire summer. You'll never surrender to him, no matter what it takes (that's what you want to believe anyway.) Mark had been stealing glances for about 30 minutes now, watching you clean meticulously and quietly. He always thought you were pretty, except for when you were being annoying that is. He always thought of himself as the bigger person, despite his childish nature, so he thought he should end this silent game sooner than expected.

"Did you get sleep," he asked.

"Why do you care?"

"I can't be concerned about my friend," he said. Mark chuckled softly when you sucked your teeth.

"Why do you insist on pissing me off," you say, turning to him. "Like I really don't understand why you don't like me. Since you came here last year, I've been nothing short of annoyed with you."

"It's never been my intention, but I just happen to strike those emotions in some women."

"What the fuck does that mean?" You put down the dirty dishes, crossing your arms as you looked at him with a brow raised.

"It means," he replied, turning to you, "that the more women are attracted to me, the less they like me."

You scoffed, getting back to cleaning the dishes. "You wish. You're out of your fucking mind."

"If I'm crazy, then what exactly was that earlier," he asked. You didn't know, but Mark definitely noticed how you backed off of him during breakfast. The way your expression changed, how quick you got up. It almost seemed like you were running from something, and he knew exactly what it was. "I know you like me."

"I don't like you. I just didn't want to talk to you in front of all your friends. They were laughing at me, so I left," you explained. Mark took two steps to you, his body ending up close to yours. You backed up a bit, not understanding why he was close to you, but he followed you again. "What are you doing?"

"Testing something out," he said simply.

"Look I don't know what you're testing but I'm busy. " Just as you moved away from him, he placed his arms beside you, trapping you under him. The both of you have never been this close before. Sure there were times where he had to catch you or hold you for activities in the forest, but there was nothing like this. This was close. This was personal.

"What are you doing," you asked, shock written all over your face.

"Standing here." Mark's lips curled into a smirk as his eyelids dropped once glancing at your lips. "You're pretty."

"Thank you but I really need to-"

"You know," he started,"you never told me what you wanted to talk about before you left the table."

You sighed, making a dramatic pained expression. "Mark, please. Can you back up?"

"No."

You looked up at him, surprised that his face was closer than before. One more move and your lips would've probably touched his. 'Why am I even thinking about that right now,' you thought to yourself.

"I know you wanna kiss me," he said almost in a whisper. Mark chuckled softly seeing the frazzled look on your face. You were so easy to read, always saying you didn't like him knowing damn well you wanted him. He just wanted to make you say it. He wanted to break your prideful attitude down and make you beg for him.

"You are saying insane things right now." You couldn't even look him in the eye, too afraid you would melt under his body. He was too close. You couldn't control your heart beat or your whirling mind. 'Maybe kissing him wouldn't be so bad,' you thought to yourself, but pushed the thought to the back of your head.

"But you didn't say I was wrong," he said, leaning into your neck.

"Mark, seriously." The slight whine in your voice made you want to run and hide from everyone. You felt like you were going to collapse into his hands the closer he got. His voice was so soft, but his presence was still so dominating. It was almost too much for you to bear.

"What would you do if I kissed you right now," he whispered in your ear, a smile on his face. "Would you push me away, take it and get mad, or maybe give me another one?"

You could barely look at him, let alone speak. You had no idea how to respond to him. You didn't even know if you were supposed to. But what you did know is that if he made one more move or said anything else, you would most likely lose your mind. "Mark, it's too early in the morning for this," you said practically begging him to stop.

Mark released his hand from the counter, placing it on your waist. His grip was firm as he pressed you against the counter more, body so close his leg was between yours. "You're not even trying to run at this point. You little liar."

"Mark..what if someone comes in here?"

"Let them. Why do you care? Are you scared," he teased. Mark kissed the spot behind your ear softly, making you gasp. Your body tensed up in his hand, causing him to rub small circles in your waist in an attempt to comfort you. He kept missing down your neck, moving back up to kiss your jawline.

You stood there, still as a tree. Your eyes fluttered shut, taking in the feeling of his lips on your skin. At this rate there was no point in fighting it. He had already won like he did with everyone else. You felt Mark's hand leave your waist, grabbing your chin as he ran his finger down your bottom lip.

"If you want me to stop I will."

You shook your head unconsciously, brows slightly frowning at his words. You were desperate and he definitely knew from the way you were frozen and speechless.

"Good girl." Mark kissed you softly, but deeply. His hand slowly made its way to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him. You dare to touch him, feeling like it was way too intimate. But before you could even pull away, he kissed you again, this time with even more sincerity. You didn't know why you had such a heavy feeling in your chest, but it did scare you a little bit.

"We have to finish all of this stuff in 15 minutes. You think we can make it," he asked on your lips.

"If you stop fast enough, maybe.."

Mark chuckled softly at your response, pulling away from you. He was clearly extremely turned on, but you were not the kind to help him with his problem, and he knew that. But that didn't stop his mind from drifting, thinking about how hot it would be if you dropped to your knees at this very moment.

"Wasn't that fun Y/N?"

"What are you talking about," you said, covering your face in embarrassment.

"Unwinding instead of having a stick up your ass," he jabbed.

You dropped your hands, scoffing at him. You shoved your way out of his arms, walking to the sink he was at previously. "Gosh, you're so annoying," you mumbled as you scrubbed the dirty plates.

"Yeah but you like it though."

"You wish."

"Proved my point."

You and Mark haven't spoken since the kitchen fiasco. You said a couple of words to each other when it came to the kids, but nothing more than that. You couldn't even look at him, the shame filling your body once he came into your vision. But one thing was for sure- you definitely didn't hate him as much. You were still very confused. You didn't understand where all those feelings came from for Mark in the kitchen. Maybe your subconscious? It didn't really matter, you just wanted to make sense of everything.

"Okay everyone, tonight is movie night so we need to leave a little early okay," you announced.

Mark leaned on a tree silently watching you as you interacted with the kids. You didn't know that he had conflicting feelings as well. All the teasing and messing around turning into sexual tension was not what he hoped for. He just wanted to mess with you. He wasn't actually going to kiss you for real, but when he saw the desperate scrunch of your eyebrows, how could he resist himself? If it weren't for the kids, he would definitely have his way with you right on the ground, but nothing in his life ever works right.

Mark admired the way you were with them, always so nice and careful. You were careful with anything really, never wanting to come off as irresponsible or rude. But he never cared about any of that. He didn't care if people thought he was a prick or an ass, which is why you were so intriguing to him. He never got a chance to actually introduce himself to you before you can dislike him as easily as you did.

After 20 minutes of walking back to the main site, the sun had finally set and all the kids and counselors went back to their respective cabins before going to the lake for movie night.

"So you're telling me," Somi started,"after all these months of not liking him, he came onto you in the kitchen and you didn't refuse?"

"I know, I know it's humiliating," you grumbled putting on your shirt.

"Enemies to lovers. My favorite trope."

You let out a loud embarrassed groan listen to her words. "We only kissed twice. We didn't say anything to each other for the rest of the day," you added.

"Not even for your group," she questioned.

"Well of course we did, but very little. He was..so distant," you said. You slipped into your jean shorts and put your shoes back on quickly. "I'm gonna go make sure all the girls are ready." You got up and walked outside to see everyone playing around. Just as you were about to round up your cabin, you see Mark who's talking to some of his kids. You wanted to stop staring at him, but you couldn't. You gulped as he glanced at you, giving you a small wave. "I hate him," you muttered to yourself almost as if you were trying to convince yourself it was true.

You shake your head, attempting to push what happened out of the forefront of your mind, but it's hard to do that when he's walking up to you. You turn away from his direction, hastily gathering the girls from your cabin. Just as you were about to make your way to the lake, you were tapped on the shoulder. Turning around agonizingly slowly, you face him with a fake smile.

"Hi," you said awkwardly.

"Hey, so listen-"

"I can't talk right now, we're about to head to the lake," you interrupted.

"I know but-"

"Can't talk."

Mark sighed, looking down at his shoes. He knew you were difficult, but not like this. "Can we talk after the movie?"

"Talk..about what? There's nothing to talk about," you say dismissively.

Mark rolled his eyes, walking away from you. You looked behind yourself, watching him walk back with his hands in his pockets. All that you could hope for was him forgetting whatever conversation he wanted to have with you.

Your cabin was the first to get to the lake while Mark's was the last like always. The movie started at 7, so thankfully for you, you could be left alone for 2 hours. You leaned against a tree as you watched the movie projected on the sheet quietly.

Unlike you, Mark was watching you silently, eyes never leaving your body as you stared at the screen. He knew you wanted nothing to do with him even after he kissed you, but he wasn't going to let that stop him. He's never been in a situation like this before. Having to chase after you was starting to dampen his pride, but he liked it.

He watched as you whispered to Somi about something, not able to read your lips. Maybe he shouldn't have thought to follow you as you walked away from everyone, but getting to be alone with you came rare, so he had to take his chances.

"Hey, I'm gonna go back to the cabin. I forgot something," he whispered to Haechan.

"Okay, be quick though. I don't wanna be responsible for you," he replied.

Mark gave him a dry laugh and walked away, following you from behind. Mark picked up that you were going to your cabin after a few turns on the trail. The sun was starting to set, so he began to rationalize he weird actions to himself. "It's not weird that I'm following her," he muttered to himself quietly. "I'm just keeping her safe." It was surprising how you didn't notice anyone was following you. You were usually always attentive, but it seems that you were only that way with other people.

Soon enough, the both of you made it to your cabin. You went inside with a big sigh, letting the door slam behind you. Mark would be a kind person and knock on the doors but he wasn't all that kind, so scaring you is the option he went with. Mark quickly went up to the door, opening it quietly. Your back was turned as you rummaged through a bag for something, causing you to not hear his footsteps or the door creaking open.

"Boo!"

"Fuck," yelled, body jumping violently as you turned around. "Mark?"

"Surprise."

You scoffed rolling your eyes at his jazz hands motion. "You're not funny. Now get out, this is a girls cabin."

"I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to talk." He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms as you went back to looking for whatever you were looking for.

"I really don't care, just leave," you said sternly.

Mark had enough of beating around the bush with you, the constant teasing, and asking dumb questions. He had to know why there was bad blood between you, especially after you let him kiss you that morning. "Why don't you like me?"

"You're kidding." You let out a dry laugh as you turned to face him. "I don't like you? I'm pretty sure it's the other way around."

"I'm just curious because since last year, you never gave me a chance, so I really want to know," he said, lifting his brows with a small smile.

"I want you to tell me why you don't like me first, then maybe I'll consider explaining myself to you."

Mark took small steps towards you, not being able to control the smirk on his face when you furrow your brows in confusion. "You're uptight and rude to me. And you never give me your attention unless it's to be rude with me, and I hate that that's the only way I get to talk to you. You only want to speak to me if it's to tell me how bad of a job I'm doing or how frustrating it is to be around me or work with me."

"That's not true, I-"

"I'm not done." You closed your mouth, intimidated by how commanding his voice was. "Then you go around and say to everyone how much you hate me. I know you complain to Somi and all the other counselors, and that's fine. But next time I would like to hear it from you directly."

"That I hate you?" You gave him a weird look, making him chuckle softly.

"Yes. Tell me that you hate me." He was walking closer to you slowly, arms now at his sides as he looked down at you with hungry eyes. Your arms were still crossed as you stood there, not allowing yourself to show how intimidating he was to you. Your face was calm, but your heart was beating faster with every step he took.

"I'm not telling you I hate you. Can I talk now," you asked.

"Go for it."

"You're fucking annoying and not helpful. You came into this camp last year and made all these friends and everyone liked you instantly. Everyone says you're funny and such a great guy but I have yet to see it. All you've done since you've been here was piss me off."

"You wanna know why," he said. He leaned down to your ear, a smile tugging at his lips. "Because you're pretty when you're angry."

"That's not funny," you said, looking away from him.

"I wasn't joking." Mark moved away from you, eyes going straight to your lips.

"Seriously mark, I don't care that you like to get me riled up, but yesterday was uncalled for. Do you have any idea…will you stop staring at me like that?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Mark could barely concentrate on what you were saying. Your expression, the way you spoke, how close the 2 of you were. All he wanted was to just kiss you and shut you up for the night. Mark could barely keep his hands off you, every bit of self restraint coursing through his veins.

You sighed trying to back up from him, but all you did was bump the edge of your bed making you fall back. You plopped on the thin mattress placing your hand behind you to stay balanced on the bed. Mark's gaze turned dangerous, staring at you as if you were prey.

"God you're so hot," he mumbled.

"Mark," you said, his name coming out a bit breathlessly.

Before you could finish your sentence, he pinned your body to the bed. You were dead silent as you watched his eyes move rapidly along your face and body. "Mark..we can't. We have to be back soon."

"Stop fighting it. Just say you want me," he mumbled quietly. He leaned into your neck, breath tickling your skin as you closed your eyes.

You shook your head, brows furrowing as you tried to push the feeling to the back of your head. But the only thing you can think about is how his hands are leaving your wrists as he moves them down your body. Your breath hitched when his fingertips brushed against the slightly exposed skin of your stomach. You didn't stop him as he lifted your shirt, hands attaching to waist firmly.

The both of you stayed silent, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of breathing and your old bed creaking at every movement he made. You watched him as he moved his hands lower, fingers resting on the button of your jean shorts. Mark looked at you for any signs of you wanting to stop, but all he saw was the desperation on your face.

You gulped watching him unbutton and unzip your shorts, lifting your hips as he tugged them off you. Mark took his shirt off, laying it next to your shorts. He hooked his fingers on your underwear, pulling them off you quickly. You let out a small yelp when he tugs you towards him, throwing your leg over his shoulder as he moves between your legs.

'Just get on with it,' was all you could think. You were way too eager to get him between your legs, and at this point, nothing was going to stop it. "Hurry up," you said, breaking the long silence.

Mark didn't say anything or look at you, all he did was smile as his face disappeared between your legs. A small gasp of please leaves your lips as he kitten licks your core. You close your eyes, letting your head fall back onto the mattress taking in every movement. He ran his hand up and down your leg, nails lightly scratching your skin making you shiver. Needing more friction, you begin to grind yourself on his tongue slowly, but he stops you with a hold on your hips.

"We're gonna do this nice and slow okay," he said.

"We can't, we have to get back soon."

"They'll be okay. There's more than enough people out there." Before you could say anything his mouth was back on your core, tongue pressing against your sensitive bud hard. Without thinking your hands made their way to his hair, fingers running through the blonde locks. Mark kept licking at you agonizingly slow, chuckling when you whined for more. He would speed up at moments, flicking his tongue against your clit faster just to tease you, then stop.

"Please," you begged breathlessly, "it feels like I'm being punished."

"I know," he mumbled.

You smacked him on the side of his head softly, making the male look up at you with a brow raised. "I fucking hate you."

Mark chuckled, removing one of his hands from your hip. He didn't take his eyes off of you as he slid two fingers into you, pumping them slowly. Mark watched as you basically fell apart in his hands, moans never stopped spilling from your lips. He began licking your clit, but faster, almost sending you over the edge.

"Shit, don't stop," you whined softly. You couldn't control your hips as you grinded against his fingers and tongue. Your jaw dropped when he fingered you faster. Gripping his hair, your hips moved on their own as you grinded faster. You were so close, your core pulsing on his fingers. "Fuck I'm gonna cum," you whined.

Your whines became louder, the pornographic sounds of your moaning, bed creaking, and sounds coming from Mark filling the empty cabin. This is one the many times you thanked God no one was around. Your eyes rolled back and body shuddered as your orgasm hit you like a truck making you mumble curses that not even Mark could make out. You let go of his hair, plopping back down on your mattress breathing heavily.

"I'm assuming that was the first time you came in a month?" Mark slid his fingers out of you slowly, wiping the digits on your sheets. He moved your leg off his shoulder, lifting himself from between your legs.

"Do you think I'm getting myself off after hiking and being around kids in this damn camp everyday," you asked, rolling your eyes at his statement.

"No. I think you're too uptight to do that," he said with a soft chuckle.

"It's crazy that you're still calling me uptight like I won't get up and leave."

Mark didn't respond to you, laughing softly to himself knowing you wouldn't move either way. He moved off the bed untying his sweats. You watched him as he let his clothes fall to the ground, eyeing his body. Not that you couldn't get it before, but now you see why he was a big deal to the other female counselors.

"Aren't we gonna use protection," you asked, gulping when he was back in front of you.

"I don't have any," he mumbled.

"You're so fucking ridiculous," you grumbled. "You're lucky I'm on birth control."

Mark could barely hear you with how eager he was to see you lose yourself for him. No amount of mean words or insults could turn him off in the moment, every word you spoke sounded like exactly what he needed to hear. "You're so fucking hot when you're mad." His lids dropped as he grabbed your ankles, pulling you closer to him.

"Don't tease, we don't have all night," you whined.

Mark couldn't take his eyes off you as he lined himself with you, slowly entering you with ease. You looked pretty under the light of the setting sun peering through the window. The light hit your eyes perfectly as they rolled back, soft moans leaving your lips at the same time. Mark thrusted into you slowly holding your waist firmly. He wanted to savor the moment, finally able to get you under him, because even though he had you now, he might not ever get you again. It was taking everything in him to not ram into you after every move not wanting it to end too quickly.

With the way he was looking at you you thought he was gonna eat you alive. And in all honesty you would let him. It was conflicting to you that all this pent up aggression towards him exploded into sex, but you were clearly not that conflicted. You would never tell him, but you had always been attracted to him and the kiss was just the tip of the iceberg.

He slid his hands up the back of your legs, pinning them to your chest as he thrusted into you faster. Your moans echoed in the empty cabin, not even thinking about if anyone could be near. "Feels so good," you moaned.

"Who's making you feel good?"

"Fuck..you are," you whined, eyes fluttering shut as you take in pleasure.

"Good girl," he cooed. Mark watched as you slipped your hand between your legs, rubbing your clit at the same place as his thrust. His fingers were constantly kneading your legs, leaving prints in your skin. "You're close aren't you baby?"

You nodded fast, looking at him with desperate eyes. "Kiss me.. please."

Mark didn't have to think twice. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a heated kiss quite literally sticking his tongue down your throat. You sucked on the wet muscle, moaning loudly on his tongue every time he thrusted into you.

"Mark..fuck," you moaned softly. Mark took a hand off your leg, wrapping an arm on the small of your back pulling you closer to him. You kissed him again, moans and whimpers poured into his mouth.

Mark moaned softly against your lips as you squeezed around him, cumming on his length. You pulled away, your lewd sounds becoming louder as he didn't stop fucking you. Mark leaned down, kissing your neck messily as you clung onto his shoulder. Mark has never had this kind of passionate feeling with a person before. It was starting to feel like more than just a sexual attraction to him, maybe he did actually have feelings for you.

"Cum in me," you said cupping his face.

Mark looked at you, brows furrowing in uncertainty. "A-are you sure? I-"

"Please baby just cum for me," you mumbled, completely taken over by the pleasure spreading in your body. "Can you do that for me?"

"Anything for you," Mark breathed out. Your words went straight to his length, his pace speeding up as he felt himself closer to cumming.

Your jaw went slack, eyes rolling back as you felt another orgasm creeping up on you. "Y-you're gonna make me cum," you whimpered.

With just a few more thrust, both you and Mark came at the same time, loud moans and groans filling the space. Mark's body went limp, laying on top of you with his face buried on the side of your neck. No one said anything for a minute, just laid there in each other's embrace trying to catch your breaths.

"I guess you don't hate me after all," Mark joked, breaking the silence.

"Only a little less."

Mark snickered as pulled himself out of you slowly. "Let's get you something to clean up with." He got up and pulled his boxers and pants on. You were sure it was because you just had sex with him, but the way you looked at him was different now. Before you were completely annoyed by his presence, but now even the little faces he made were endearing. Of course, Mark would never stop being an infuriating person to talk to but maybe you like talking to him. Maybe you liked being around him this whole time.

"If you want to go for round 2 just say it." Mark walked back to you with tissues, handing them to you with a smile. He chuckled softly when you gave him a frown for his comment. "Back to hating me I guess."

"I don't hate you Mark," you admit. The words felt unnatural to you, but they were the truth. You don't hate him, and you don't think you ever did.

"I'd like it if you did though," he said, sitting on the edge of your bed. "If what we just did considered hate fucking, please hate me more."

You rolled your eyes, tossing the dirty tissues in the trash bin across the room. "Who said it was gonna happen again?" Mark watched you closely as you shimmied back into your underwear and shorts. "What? Is there something on my face?"

"Yeah." He stood up, pulling you to him, making you gasp softly. Mark kissed you deeply, smiling against your lips when you kissed him back. "We should get back. I think we've been gone too long," he mumbled.

You nodded, kissing him one more time before he pulled away from you agonizingly slow. "Please don't be weird when we get back. I don't want to have to hate you again," you joked.

"Didn't I just tell you I want you to hate me more?"

"What do you mean you fucked him last night," Somi whisper yelled.

"Yeah..I did..right on the bed you're sitting on."

"Ew ew ew." She shot up from your bed with a frown on her face, making you laugh loudly. "Seriously what is wrong with you, why didn't you say that before I sat down?"

"Thought your reaction would be funny, and it was," you'd aid giggling.

Somi looked at you with disgust on her face, dusting off her body. "Anyways…are you guys like..a thing now?"

"I don't know. I don't think so," you answered.

"Well do you wanna be a thing?"

"Well..I think I do," you admitted. "But I don't know him that well, you know. All I did was have sex with him. What if he doesn't want anything," you said.

"You want me to be honest?"

"Please do."

"I think you should go talk to him. Like right now," she suggested.

"Now? I don't even know if he's in his cabin," you stated.

"Just go. If he's not there, go back another time. You should talk to him while your feelings are still fresh," she suggested.

Somi was right. Even though you thought it was still a bit early to talk to him, you couldn't stop thinking about him all day and all night. Throughout the day, the both of you kept stealing glances, staring at each other but not saying a word. It's been hard trying to keep your bubbling feelings for him at bay, especially when you're working so close for the summer. But Somi was right, it wouldn't hurt to try.

You nodded, sighing softly. "You're right. I should go." You turned walking to the door, but when you opened it, Mark was standing there, hand up like he was about to knock.

"Oh," you said, surprised. "Hi."

"Hey," he said, looking everywhere but at you. "Can I, um, talk to you?"

"Uh, yeah. You wanna talk here or.."

"Just walk with me. Please?" You've never seen him so nervous or unsure before. It was kind of cute. You agreed, leaving the cabin and walking along the trail with Mark.

The first couple of minutes were silent. Neither one of you said anything. The only thing that could be heard were the sounds of your feet on the dirt trial and the laughter of children from afar. But it wasn't an awkward kind of silence. It felt comfortable, he felt comfortable and warm.

"I really like you Y/N," he started. "And I know it might be weird for you, but I just felt like you had to hear it."

His words went straight to your heart, making it beat faster with every syllable. You blinked fast, not really knowing how to respond. You were afraid of coming into him too strongly, saying something that would scare him away, but you had to say something.

"I..like you too," you confessed. Your face was beginning to heat up, palms becoming clammy from the nervousness. You haven't been like this since middle school, all shy and nervous.

"So..where should we go from here?" Mark raised a brow and looked at you. You glanced at him quick enough to not want to run away from the situation all together. He grabbed your hand, making you pause mid step. Your heart was beating so fast you could hear it at this point, and you were sure he could too.

"I, uh, I don't know," you stuttered.

Mark chuckled, clasping his fingers with yours. "I've never seen you so nervous."

"I'm not nervous." You don't know who exactly you were trying to prove that too, but it definitely wasn't him because as soon as you spoke he laughed.

"I think we should start over this summer," he said. "I think we should meet each other for the first time again."

You looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he started, turning to you. He stopped walking and tugged your hand to look at him. "I mean we should start again from a clean slate. I want to get to know you better on a good note, but only if you're willing."

You gulped looking down at your feet. You must've looked like a kid with the way mark was smiling down at you. "I..I would like that. I'd like that a lot actually." You looked at him, expression going from shy to worriedm. "I'm sorry for y'know being rude and everything."

Mark didn't say anything, allowing your words to linger for a moment before he leaned down and kissed you. The kiss was softer this time, more innocent. Mark pulled away with a small smile on his face. "You don't have to apologize to me for anything. I know I've been an ass, and I'm willing to make up for it."

It was hard to keep a smile off your face and stop yourself from blushing like a kid. "If we do this, will you stop talking to me once we're out of here," you asked.

"Y/N when I said I liked you I was serious. I don't want this to be a summer fling. I actually want to get to know you before I date you," he explained.

Your eyes went wide, completely flustered from his statement. "You want to date me?" Your heart fluttered repeating his words almost immediately, getting butterflies in your stomach. "But I've been so terrible to you and-"

"So? We like each other and we should explore that this summer."

You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips. You let go of his hand and placed it on the back of his neck, kissing him. This was the first time you kissed him. And it felt good. It felt good knowing that you didn't have to keep trying to convince yourself you didn't like him, or that you were never attracted to him. You pulled away, eyes never leaving the man in front of you. You didn't know if this conversation would make a difference for the rest of the day or the rest of the summers, but if Mark was true to a hate he said, you could wait.

But if not, then maybe you just might hate him for real.

[onceonafullmoon]

Mirror

Rin x GN!Reader

Comfort Angst, experiences of anxiety attacks, Reader and Rin are both kind of obsessive lmao, some threats of violence but nothing happens, established relationship and also merry christmas though this fic has nothing to do with that!!

“Speak for yourself. I’m perfectly logical.” He eventually retorts. You actually laugh at that, though it definitely sounds weak and shaky even to your own ears. “…stupid.” You say with a fond smile. “At least I can be honest with myself.”

It’s a sunny day as you watch your boyfriend on the field, his figure distant as you sit in the stands, watching him practice. The birds are chirping, a few fluffy clouds decorate the sky and the temperature is mild if not a bit warm… it’s a beautiful day. 

And you’re pissed off.

Not at him, almost never at him despite his oftentimes abrasive and harsh demeanor. But then again, you’ve always been exceptionally lenient when it comes to Rin.

No, the reason you’re pissed off isn’t because of Rin, rather it’s because of your own issues, your own stewing jealousy when a particularly pretty girl happened to confess her feelings to your handsome boyfriend in the form of a note in his locker.

Obviously, he rejected her, in that blunt way of his, but even then you couldn’t help but notice how he took the time to make sure he rejected her in person, still respecting her feelings despite the fact that he didn’t return them.

And it really shouldn’t bother you… but you’ve always been, unhinged, to say the least.

It’s hard to explain exactly, but, when it comes to the people in your life, when it comes to hobbies you have, anything that you’re passionate about, you tend to get absorbed in those things in a rather unhealthy way.

Like that time you dropped all your plans to cheer up your best friend when she was only mildly upset, or that time you watched a series and then made it your entire personality for a month straight… you’ve always been a tad obsessive.

And when it comes to you, it feels more juvenile to feel this way. 

It’s hard to explain, but you’ve always been more emotionally honest than Rin, and for that reason you feel like you come off as more needy. 

Or maybe that means you’re more emotionally mature.

Or not.

You don’t know, you hate going in circles like this, pacing around in your own mind. Sometimes you wonder if you were more like Rin and ignored your feelings it would be less annoying. But you suppose that self awareness is one of your strengths.

Although, you have to admit, self awareness is also a curse when you have to deal with your own negative emotions rather than having a philosophical discussion, which brings you back to your conflicting feelings.

You don’t like being jealous, no one does, but you feel especially icky about the types of thoughts it brings. You don’t like the fact that your first thought towards this girl was so negative, you don’t like the fact that you feel like a worse person because of that and you don’t like the fact that a very primal part of you wants to march over onto that field and kiss your boyfriend senseless for no reason other than to see his swollen lips afterwards.

Normally, you’d have no problem talking about your feelings with Rin, as emotionally closed off and brash as he is, but something about this makes you feel like you want to stick your head into a hole in the ground, much like an ostrich. Or, to put it plainly, you’re a mess and you’re losing your mind trying not to implode with all your emotions.

Imploding can wait though, you’ll dissect this when you get home, right now you’ll throw on a smile and talk to your boyfriend who you are most certainly not creating scenarios of sneaking off with this pretty girl with her stupid pretty smile and her dumbass cute hairstyle–

Right.

No imploding.

You sigh and shake your head, looking back at the field, watching as Rin begins to wrap up his practice and take that as your cue to make your way over to him after you hop off of your seat in the risers. 

As you near him you can make out his features more distinctly, the sharp curve of his jaw, the length of his under lashes, the pretty teal of his eyes… he’s stupidly handsome as always, and it makes you feel even more ticked off, though you do your best to suppress those thoughts.

“Hey, you.” You say with a smile, picking up his water bottle from the bench and tossing it his way as if practiced, and he catches it with ease, popping the cap off to take a drink, his eyes meeting yours.

To this day, you can’t tell if you hate making eye contact with him or if you adore it.

“...Hey.” He answers after swallowing, his gaze darting across your form.

You’re not entirely sure what he’s searching for, but you hope he doesn’t notice anything different in your demeanor. 

“I’d say you did good out there but I’d be lying if I implied I knew what I was looking for.” You say, in your usual slightly self-deprecating demeanor.

He scoffs, his eyes rolling slightly. “You don’t need to know anything, it’s me.”

Cocky bastard.

“That’s annoyingly cool of you to say.” You say with a small laugh. “I need to learn some one liners like that from you.”

“I wouldn’t bother trying.” He retorts, pushing his hair back in a move that nearly makes you choke on your saliva from how annoyingly good he looks before speaking again. “...how was your day?”

“Fine.” You answer almost too quickly, before pausing to elaborate.

“Just a regular day I mean, nothing extraordinary happened, unless you count the amount of times that I watched someone trip over that crack on the sidewalk.”

Rin furrows his brow. “What crack?”

“You haven’t seen it? It’s like right outside the window in homeroom, like right by the tree.”

“...is that what you’ve been paying attention to? Not the goddamn teacher?”

“Only sometimes! Besides, I’ve seen like five people almost eat shit, it’s entertaining in it’s own right.”

“You’re hopeless, this is the reason–”

You sigh. “Look, my grades are fine, I’m fine, let’s just move on instead of turning this into another stupid “see this is why you should focus more” speeches.”

He tilts his head at you, squinting like you’ve grown two heads, and you feel both annoyed and weirdly vulnerable under his analytical gaze. 

“What?” You ask, almost defensively.

“You…” He says with a small frown. “What’s wrong with you?”

You laugh, though it sounds more like a scoff, and this time it’s more out of a sense of disbelief. “Wow, okay, rude. Do you want my therapist’s notes or something, jackass?”

Immediately after the words leave your mouth you feel yourself regretting them. They’re juvenile, stupid and childish and you can feel your face grow warm. 

Great, you can’t even pretend right, what good are you?

His eyes narrow. “Maybe I do, maybe that’ll help me understand why you’re acting like–”

“Like a bitch?” You interrupt.

Oh gods. What are you doing? What is this?

He blinks at you, as if taken aback by your suggestion. “What the hell are you talking about?”

You close your mouth, feeling everything bubble up again inside you, the jealousy, the insecurities, the annoyance, the embarrassment, all of it is swirling inside you and suddenly it just feels like you’re choking on the weight of all of it, like it’s stuck in your throat.

It’s silent for a while, his hard gaze boring into you while you stand there, feeling like a complete idiot, chewing on your tongue while you try to find the will to speak. 

He sighs then, breaking the silence between the two of you before speaking again. “...talk to me.”

And you do. You do want to talk to him, whether it’s to brush him off, or to open up, anything would be fine, you just want to speak. But you can’t. 

There are too many thoughts, too many things piling up, but you just need to speak, just speak, speak–

He furrows his brow at the continued silence. “...if you have a problem, tell me, but if you’re just going to be childish and give me the silent treatment then this conversation is over.”

Childish? You’re not childish, you just can’t talk, it’s not your fault– 

Is it?

Is it your fault? 

Gods who are you kidding, of course it’s your fault, you can’t even fucking talk how pathetic is that? No wonder he’s looking at other girls you can barely even hold a goddamn conversation, not to mention, she’s so pretty and you’re not– maybe if you could just write some words down– but fucking hell you’re so childish, he’s right, you’re not ready for a relationship– all you have to do is say something– he must fucking hate you–

It’s only when you have to take a breath that you remember where you are, and Rin is staring at you with a look you haven’t seen before. 

Shocked maybe? 

But you don’t think you’ve done anything shocking, until you feel a warm tear roll down your face.

Ah shoot. You’re actually a moron, you’re crying. In front of him.

Come on, raise your hand, wipe away your tears, you’re fine. 

Move your fucking hand.

Move.

Just do something. Don’t just stand there.

You take a breath, wiping away your tears with your hand.

Good. Now speak.

“...” You part your lips shakily to speak. “I–”

A sob escapes your lips and you slap your hand over your mouth and turn away from him, letting the tears just stream down your face.

“Shit.” Rin says softly from behind you, and you distantly think that if you were watching from an outsider's perspective that this would be hilarious.

Okay, stop, calm down, breathe. You’re fine.

You let out another muffled sob as your breathing runs ragged.

Okay, no, you’re not fine.

“(Name).” Rin says, in a tone so soft you’re almost taken by surprise, and you can feel his presence behind you, closer than before.

He places his hand on your shoulder and gently turns you back to face him, and you notice through watery eyes that his water bottle is back on the bench. You’re not sure why you notice that, but you think it's because you can’t stand to make eye contact right now.

“Listen to me.” He murmurs, his voice soft yet firm. “Breathe slowly, in and out, okay?”

Right. You can do that. In and out.

It takes a few breaths, but eventually you manage to get to the point where your breathing is less rapid, and it’s then that you muster the courage to look him in the eyes again.

It’s a small relief to you that you don’t see any judgment in his eyes, just concern.

“...what’s wrong (Name)?”

It takes you a bit to respond, but you’re finally able to speak after you pull your hand from your mouth, looking at his water bottle again.

“...I’m… ashamed.” You say quietly, and the admission feels like you’re being stabbed in the gut.

“Ashamed?” Rin asks, furrowing his brow again. “Why are you ashamed?”

You don’t even want to begin to explain yourself, but you figure you might as well just get it over with. 

“... that girl, she confessed to you. I was jealous– I am jealous, and I feel stupid, because it’s embarrassing and I feel immature.”

He looks at you for a moment, really looks at you and then scoffs. 

“You’re…” He pauses and then looks at you, seemingly thinking better of his words before speaking again with a sigh. “...you’re too harsh on yourself.”

You simply shake your head. “No, it’s dumb, and I was mean to you and I was mean to that girl in my head and I shouldn’t have–”

“Then what about me?” He asks sharply.

“What?” You respond, looking back at him again, confusion taking over.

“I–” He starts before huffing out a breath, his cheeks turning pink as he looks away. “You think I’m any better? At least you have the decency to be ashamed.”

You blink, the quiet settling around you.

Well, thinking on it now, it’s not like you’re the only one who’s like that, you’re no stranger to how Rin methodically practices his skills everyday, the way his eyes narrow into a glare when he sees his brother on screen, how he scoffs at your best friend when she hugs you in greeting… he’s just as bad as you, isn’t he?

Obsessive.

Jealous.

“…we’re so silly, aren’t we?” You ask, breaking the silence between the two of you. “So intense all the time, so needlessly absorbed, too emotional… You’re everything I despise about myself, but I don’t hate you. Aren’t we so strange?”

Rin looks at you finally, a complicated look on his face, flickering through emotions.

“Speak for yourself. I’m perfectly logical.” He eventually retorts.

You actually laugh at that, though it definitely sounds weak and shaky even to your own ears.

“…stupid.” You say with a fond smile. “At least I can be honest with myself.”

You look at him for a moment.

“I like to think I’m good with words, at least when I’m not crying, but there’s so much I want to tell you that I can’t say in the way I want to… what on earth can I say to you?”

Rin looks at you, eyes boring into yours, but you can’t seem to find yourself to be intimidated this time. “Dumbass, you don’t need to say anything.”

You look at him, at his stupidly sweet soul that he tries to hide with harsh words, and let out a soft huff, uncharacteristically frustrated.

“…sometimes I want to hurt you, because you make me feel so much. I could rip you apart.”

Rin’s eyes widen, as if surprised by your words, and briefly you fear that you might have overstepped, before his eyes harden into a steely gaze.

“Idiot… you think you’re the only one who feels that way?”

You blink at his words, not expecting his response, much less how surprisingly honest it is. 

It’s… This is new.

You expect him to recoil from your words, from your emotions, from you. You expect him to leave. But his response, his understanding, it makes you so… emotional.

You take in a shaky breath, tearing up again.

His reaction to that is instantaneous, his eyes widening in shock, a flicker of regret in his gaze. A beat of silence lapses between you two before he speaks, his tone regretful.

“(Name)… I didn’t mean—”

“No.” You say immediately, though your voice is still shaky as you blink harshly.

“Don’t apologize. And don’t take it back.” You speak, your voice cracking. “I’m not scared. You get me, I get you… we’re a mess, but I’ll never find someone like you, and I don’t want to.”

You take a breath to steady yourself, before speaking again. 

“I’m gonna say something, and you don’t have to say it back.” You say, before speaking again, your voice soft but firm. “...I love you.”

You’re not sure what possessed you to say it, those words that have been lurking in you for so long, and you for a moment, seeing his startled face, you wonder if you might have scared him off, if you were moving too fast, or maybe–

“Dumbass.” He says with a soft scoff before cupping your face and pulling you into a kiss.

It’s always so tongue heavy with Rin, and you’ve had to coax him in the past to appreciate a sweet, chaste kiss every once in a while, but you find this time you don’t mind this time as he desperately presses his lips against yours.

It’s his own way of saying it back to you.

[skyeslittlecorner]

I just notice that all the kings are like... really tall...

So... Could I request some headcanons about the kings with a smol MC (smolllll) are going for a walk, then MC tries to keep up with their long steps and said "Wait for me! I got little legs!!!". The king's reactions plssssss 😭😭 (sorryyyyy for the grammar 🥹)

They’re HUGE and perfect this way. PB didn't skimp on giving them growth steroids. And I'm talking about all their sizes. 38 cm… AHKEM back to the point. Poor Satan, he's the only one of reasonable size in human terms and suffers for it lmao Mocking him for it is my love language

Also, don't worry about your English, it's good! As long as we understand each other everything is fine. I'm not native english speaker myself.

꧁:･ ✡ ･:꧂

Satan will look at you over his shoulder. He walks quite fast and is always in front to protect you. Usually, he will slow down a bit, but he won't want to walk hand in hand with you unless you are in a safe place or someone else is in front of you. For safety. If he wants to tease you, he'll pretend he doesn't hear you down there (do you know how satisfied that makes him? Finally, someone shorter than him). Ah, if you need to get somewhere fast, be ready to be thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. And he really hope it pisses you off~

Mammon slows down immediately. His Master's words are his command. It will take him a while to learn to walk really slowly, he is huge, his one step is your three. “Maybe we can work on speeding you up, Master? Maybe I'll carry you in my arms? Sedan chair? Levitating shoes? What do you mean, such thing doesn't exist? We will invent it for you. Walking slower is enough? Alright, then be it.” Still, he likes the idea of carrying you the most, so be prepared that sometimes your walk will be in his arms.

Beelzebub will speed up, turn on his heel and walk backwards, teasing you in the process. “These poor little legs need some work out, what do you say to run with me~?” His taunts go in one ear and out the other because you wonder how he hasn't tripped yet. When he gets tired of teasing you, he will come over and wrap his arm around your waist. That way he won't forget to go at your pace (suuure, we all know that’s not the real reason).

Leviathan will stop in place. If you run into his back, expect a glance of contempt over his shoulder. "Pathetic." But despite his muttering to himself, he'll be the only one who remembers it. Always. You may not pay attention to it anymore, because from now on he will always walk at a pace that is not a problem for you. He will remember it and adjust his speed to you every time. After all, he's perfect, isn't he?

[lanawinterscigarettes]

NSFW headcanons for Jennifer Check and a submissive male S/O?

Anon I love you sm for sending this request in 🥺💗

Jennifer Check with a submissive male s/o nsfw headcanons

Warnings: SMUT, (mean) femdom, submissive male reader (physical descriptions of the reader are pretty vague so this should be able to be read by either cis or trans readers. Lemme know if there's anything that needs to be added or changed)

Jennifer has a more dominant personality in general but it'd definitely be more prominent if her s/o was a guy

Hates being told what to do, but she may humor you every now and then to see just how far you'll go and just how bratty you'll get. It makes the punishment afterwards even more fun

Speaking of punishments, they tend to include spanking, edging/overstimulation, and being forced to watch her get off alone

The last one is her personal favorite. She loves fingering herself while taunting you, saying things like "I don't really need you anyway, I can get myself off just fine without you"

You're not allowed to touch yourself when this happens either :( not that she'd let you cum even if you were

She is such a power bottom!!! fight me on it lol

Listen she loves being in control but hates having to do all of the work y'know what I mean

That doesn't mean she won't tell you what to do though, she's still very bossy even on the bottom

Will flat out tell you if what you're doing isn't pleasing her/is wrong in any way. Sometimes she'll be condescendingly sweet while correcting you and other times she'll just roll her eyes as she grumbles out instructions

Obsessed with humiliation/pain kinks. She can and will step on you (specifically your crotch) if you allow her to

Makes fun of you if you cry at any point during sex but she honestly loves it so much. She just enjoys humiliating you so you'll cry even more (this feeds into her not-so-secret dacryphilia kink)

Also she will straight up abuse your cock btw, whether that be through edging/overstimulating you to the point of tears or just squeezing you a bit too tightly when jerking you off or allowing her teeth to graze your shaft while going down on you

This goes for if you have a t-dick too. Trans guys are not safe from her rough treatment lmao

Prefers receiving to giving because she loves the feeling of suffocating you between her thighs, whether that's from her laying on her back or sitting on your face

That's not to say she isn't fantastic at giving, though, she just has to be in the mood for it. And don't think that you'll get the chance to take control during this time, not when she literally has you by the balls

If you know about her being demon possessed, then believe me when I say she is fully intent on visiting you directly after her, ahem, meals because of how horny the bloodlust makes her. Oh, you don't find her all that attractive covered in sweat and the blood of her most recent victim? That's fine, you can just help her get cleaned up in the shower afterwards ;)

I think she'd be fairly good at pegging because of just how whiny and pathetic she can make you, but she hates all the work that goes into it. Getting her to be on top for an extended period of time is something that happens once in a blue moon, like as a gift for your birthday, but if you beg enough you might be able to convince her to pull out the strap-on. I just hope you like riding, because that's one of the requirements of it

She loves riding btw. Doesn't matter who's riding who, it's one of her favorite positions (and also one of the only times that she'll willingly top without any complaints)

Every session ends with you being marked up in some way, shape, or form. Hickeys, bite marks, bruises, scratches, the whole nine yards. If you want to mark her up too, then go right ahead, she fully supports it and is honestly a little disappointed if she doesn't have at least one physical reminder afterwards

If you piss her off enough but she still wants to have sex then she'll make you fuck her without being allowed to cum the entire time. Or she might finger herself and have you fuck her thighs/tits as a way to torture you

Adores any and every little sound you make. Moans, groans, whimpers, whines, etc. She wants to be able to hear you, which means you're expected to be loud enough to be heard over her own noises

She really doesn't mind fingering you or eating you out, but only if you beg enough. And then she has to hear your soft cries of pleasure while she does it, even with your face shoved into the pillows while you're on your knees with your ass up, or she'll stop. She just loves torturing you what can I say

Anything involving public sex is completely on the table. If she's feeling a bit less controlling one day she might wear a vibrator and give you the remote control to it, but if you tease her too much then your controller privileges will be taken away and you'll be forced to wear the vibrator every day for the rest of the entire week with it up to the highest setting as a punishment

Such a brat tamer. She loves to mock and belittle you while putting you back in your place for acting out, and that includes taunting you for getting aroused when she spanks you for getting an attitude with her

Even if you do behave she's still going to be a little mean unfortunately. She just can't help the way you look at her all cutely with tears in your eyes as you beg to cum (or in some cases stop cumming if you've been at it for a while)

End notes: okay I went a little crazy while writing this due to my excitement but I wanted to cover the most topics as possible (and I'm a little horny for Jen but really who can blame me)

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated | requests are currently open

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[cringelordofchaos]

random craig tucker headcanons

has level 1 low support needs autism

gay (not a hc bt whaever.)

special interest is star trek and space in general

watching red racer every day is a routine he mustn't under almost any imaginable circumstance break

got some peruvian ancestry (from which parent's side? heck if i know) + knows a bittt of spanish

his family mostly goes without saying a word to each other during meals

when hes waiting outside the counselor's office for flipping off someone again he sits and either thinks about space or looks at images of stripe on his phone to ease any tension that migth be there

barely ever smiles except when stripe, space or tweek exist

closer to thomas than to laura

his parents taught him everythin ghe knows <33 (emotional constipation and invlulnerability but breaking the ice every one in a while)

sometimes just randomly infodumps about random facts about star strek or space or guinea pigs at the most random of times (actually canon as briefly shown in TFBW)

likes to learn / memorize random facts abt red racer, space, star trek or guinea pigs

random fact i almost mispelled guinea pigs every single time wtmf is wrong with me

for birthdays he mostly gets space-themed stuff cuz everyone knows he loves it

if hes overwhelmed, instead of having a meltdown he'll usually have a shutdown instead

sometimes rants to stripe abt stuff like relationship drama w tweek lmao

he actually liked the clothes he wore during the metrosexual fad, (evident by keeping them in his closet as shown in TFBW)

most emotion he shows is anger/being pissed off

"sooooooo happy" is actually a stim of his and it feels satisfying for him to say it every time hes sooo happy

even when hes sooo happy the most emotion he'll show is a faint smile

doesn't really smile in any pictures unless hes forced to

flipping people off for him is kinda like pushing people away and making them pissed off at him so he wouldnt need to care abt what they think of him and that way he sorta protects himself (mostly saying this bc of one of his attacks in tfbw)(i swear im sane)

hes sometimes overwhelmed from his relationship w tweek but he fucking sucks at communicating (his kryptonite in TFBW is literally communication) he didnt communicate that to tweek just yet (this is mostly shown in buddha box)(NOT SAYING CRAIG DOESNT CARE ABOUT TWEEK HE LOVES HIM HES JUST OVERWHELMED SOMETIMES FROM FEELING LIKE HES COMPLETELY RESPONIBLE FOR HIM ANDN OIEAHDKKSH leave him alone) i like to imagine tweek and craig resolve this at one point cuz im pretty sure they get married in the future and they always push through their struggles together and they rly need each other so .

u can point to a star n hell name it

has space themed pajamas

(StOLEN HC IdK FroM whO) has those glow in the dark stars in his room

i googled it sometime ago n apparently he has blue eyes ? idrc

his childhood dream was to become an astronaut (I FORGOT HOW TO SPELL IT I LITERALLY HAD TO GOOGLE IT I HATE MYSELF) but when he grew up he probably settled for something less extreme. idk what though

either got diagnosed w autism at age 10, in his teens, in his young adult years, or far afterwards, or never at all. when he was told by someone that he migth be autistic he didnt rly even bother to look it up or anything but if he did he would go like "idk i dont really think im autistic i dont think i do (x symtom) all that much" and tweeks like "You do that literally all the time !!!!". but yeah even if he gets diagnosed he doesnt rly end up taking any medication or specializzed therapy but he does gain a larger understanding of himself and how to handle things like shutdowns.)

really picky eater (cuz sensory issues)

hates wearing jeans or similiar uncomfy clothing so he wears exclusively sweatpants (again cuz of sensory issues)

his whole family is autistic actually ive decided so when mr mackey brings up the possibility of him being autistic laura and thomas deny it cuz all the symptoms he shows are what they do as well, andthyere obviously not autistic so neither can craig be.

sometimes he goes over to tweeks house completely unannounced and so does tweek (actuallycanon as shown in put it down)

0verwhelmed by the concept of emotions in general but his relationship w tweek forces him to confront that part of him he tries to avoid and forces him to open up a bit which is actually rly important

since tweek is on meth, he heavily lacks appetite and sometimes skips meals or just doesnt take care of himself enough. craig learns abt this (not the meth part cuz tweek doesnt know that eithrer) so he helps him eat enough food throughout the day so he doesnt fucken starve to death

replies to tweeks texts instantly (actually canon)

tolkiens best friend (canon according to the official south park wiki). clydes a closee second

clyde annoys the fuck out of him but in a friend teasing way and they both care abt each other obvu

i actually dont rly have hcs for him n tolkien sryyyy

jimmy makes the best remarks abt creek (canon)(in put it down he asks craig (when craig doesnt know why tweek isnt in school) "uh oh. trouble in paradise?" and in TFBW during a battle tweek tells craig smth like "ill be right with you super craig!" and jimmy says "OK, i guess illbe the third wheel." anyway live laugh jimmy)

extremely blunt pessimist (canon)

despite his reputation as a troublemaker hes actually a decently polite kid (minus the constant flipping off)

barely goes out the house or does anything exciting. nice n boring. just the way he likes it.

hates changes or sudden surprises or his routine being broken

on the verge of being diagnosed w oppositional defiance disorder

sometimes wears black nail polish (again cuz in tfbw its kinda implied he liked the metrosexual fad n black nail polish migth be a more neutral form of such self expression)(mostly self projecting here)

tumblr user

during one pride month thomas went all out and bought craig a shitton of pride themed merch that he mostly doesnt use

he loves loves lovess seeing tweeks smile !!!1!! hes like omfg finally hes getting a fucking break (tweeks life is a fucking mess)

appears unphased by some stuff even when hes really uncomfortab;le

sometimes sleeps without pillow ehn he deems it more comfortable

deals w some form of small anxiety, not to a disordered amount thogh

maybee has depression ?!? idk

dated a girl in the past cuz he thought he was supposed to, but he felt like "she was holding him back". overall he didnt give a fuck abt their breakup cuz he didnt really care that much abt the relationship and when others questioned him abt it he was confused and didnt know most ppl were heartbroken after a breakup. (sorry i love early craig being a gay mess in denial)

sometimes cartman calls him a pocoyo rip off and each time he feels the strongest urge to either decapitate or defenestrate him

before he n tweek got together he would joke to tolkien abt how he was gonna propose to him when they grew up so he could live off his wealth and not have to work for any money. (SORRY i got this concept from a webcomic (the four of them))

he n tweek send heart emojis to each other (implied)

mostlyyy dry texter (he doesnt mean to)

at one point he n tweek buy a pair of guinea pigs for stripe to befriend and craig names them castor and pollux

he n tweek get married in the future

mostly likes dry, tasteless and cold food (There r obviously exceptions thats why i said mostly)

says and intreprerts things more literally than most

still sarcastic at times

hates huge social events with too many people and noiises

used to blend in well and fit in w mob mentality but doesnt really care anymore

it wont let me write anymo

[beelanddiavolosimp-blog]

I made something! You can use it to your advantage as well but I am dumb and forgot Luke my poor child.

Context! This will be basically my Mc's world where me and my sister are in devildom alongside everyone. (Updated feelings!)

Lucifer : I have heavy daddy issues so once I saw Lucifer and how he acted I was like 👀. There is a little red because sometimes I hate him so lol. Due to me having a massive crush on Dia and Beel I slowly had my feelings converted to friends since though I am a slut I am a loyal slut. So I did have romantic feelings/crush beforehand but my feelings became stronger.

Mammon: Ofc the poor boy is smitten but since it's with both me and my sister he has feelings for both. I absolutely adore him and if I didn't want dia and beel so bad he would be next in line. But I do also find him a great friend.

Levi: Lmao okay the little hate is because I cannot stand the way he talks I have stated this before but that's really it. Otherwise I think he'd be a great friend because I do enjoy anime and totally would play video games with 24/7. I do not find myself dating him and view him as only a friend. Though sadly I feel like he'd gain a crush on me with how often I'd be around him.

Satan: Don't get me wrong he is hot and all but not that much my type (doesn't like blondes). We would be great friends I feel like since we have bad anger issues to fix together. Again I feel like he would like me slowly because I love to piss off Lucifer and can relate to him.

Asmos: Now I have like zero romantic interest in him. So I would like being friends since I do enjoy makeup and skincare. Because I enjoy some angst I feel like he would gain a crush on me but I would have to push him away and let him see me actively love after someone else knowing I am not doing it on purpose.

Beel: straight up in love with him. Everything he does makes me smile and make my heart hurt. I feel like even though it's hard for him to speak of his emotions he would be heavily in love with me too. I adore family and would do anything for them along with being strong on my beliefs and opinions. I also often self sacrifice because I care for others too much. (I swear I am not trying to be a pick me I just see qualities the brothers would like about me and they would push feelings too far with them😭)

Belphie: of this little slut has a crush on me he is constantly up my ass and very protective whenever someone else touches me (not beel). I would definitely have a crush since I like protective men. Tho again my feelings for his brother would overpower that. I would absolutely love him as a friend because starting shit is so much fun and I adore sleeping.

Solomon: this fucker is someone my sister would go after so I will back off (in this au). We would be great friends and I'd probably tease him for the crush he has on my sister.

Raphael: surprise! I don't fully hate him anymore! He's grown a bit on me since I can see he does care a little but I still get irritated by him. I feel like he wouldn't care much for my existence and tolerate me when I am around but not fully hate me.

Meso: dear God his attitude in the game gets me furious. I will definitely butt heads with him and constantly argue. But I do feel like at a calming point we'd be a little bit of friends in that time.

13: my beloved wife I want to marry her. It'd be the classic wlw troupe of best friends who have secret feelings for each other that everyone can see but them.

Simeon: he's sexy to me and actually very sweet so I would have a tiny crush on him. That would soon turn to friends due to others but it would be like me and him raising luke basically. Which would lead to him liking me since he'd love me as Luke's (mom).

Dia: I am in love need to marry immediately. He is such a sweetheart that if I'd tell him slightly that I like him he would go off the rails and do anything in his power to come after me. (Id love it)

Barb: again belongs to my sister so no romance. We would enjoy tea and peace and quiet. Kinda like two older siblings finally getting a break together 🤣.

Luke: I would treat him like my little brother or son because he's so cute I wouldn't be able to resist. I'd be aiming for an older sister role but he most likely won't see me as that and more motherly.

Please do not take this as me being a pick me this is my take on how things would be like in my world/au of Obey Me and it could end in many different ways that I can write about if you'd like.

[adamnablelittledevil]

Reacting to The Vampire Lestat - Part IV (with a bit of spoilers)

Lestat's narration has gotten so much better actually. I mean, I still don't care when he talks about stuff that doesn't have an effect on him, but when he describes things/people that actually do? It's great. It's just so vivid, rich, colorful, sometimes even abstract that simply makes me giggle and kick my feet. When he gets really thoughtful about life, vampirism, existence, religion, morality, feelings, theater, music etc, it feels like borderline insanity, but in a brilliant way? Feels like I'm tasting some crazy drug and tripping, but it's so good? It activates a very specific part of my neurodivergent brain and I love it because I'll also be having those crazy thoughts all by myself with nobody to talk to and Lestat just gets it.

I also love the excess of exclamations on this POV haha.

Sometimes it just feels like a naive child telling things and is kind of endearing.

ARMAND!

Armand in Lestat's words: he was beautiful, ethereal, sublime, exquisite, delicate, soft, perfect, a Caravaggio painting, a Da Vinci painting, an angel, I found myself in him, the possibility of him, I didn't pay attention to [whatever] because I was looking at him etc etc.

Basically calling him the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, really.

Like, I legit MEMORIZED some of them. Lestat was THAT repetitive lmao.

I don't know if it's because the words were so superlative or because Lestat had it that bad or because I have it that bad just thinking about it, but yeah.

I'm not even kidding when I say I need to take pauses because this is kind of unsettling.

I'm so serious, but I feel like reading Lestat's description of Armand has a bigger effect on me than the prettiest person I have ever seen in freaking R E A L L I F E? What the hell, WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?

Lestat, tone it down, I'm begging you.

Been told Armand is really that gorgeous and every character talks about him that way, so apparently he isn't exaggerating... I'm gonna lie down, bye.

It's even worse because I just picture show!Armand because he's even more handsome there so it makes me dizzy.

Also because Lestat won't miss an opportunity to talk about his beauty? He LITERALLY says it EVERY SINGLE TIME he sees Armand. I'm not joking, I swear on my own life. I'm like, OKAY, WE GET IT? ENOUGH!

Armand (Lestat's version) on season 3 will be insufferable and I'm so ready for it. But also not ready yk.

At this point I'm basically just drooling over him and I don't care.

PERFECT casting with Assad. He incorporates Armand like no other. Everyone on the show is talented and I can see them as their characters, but there's one thing or another that I imagine differently sometimes? But not Armand, like, my Armand looks, walks, moves, talks, stares etc the exact same way Assad does it on the show. Every single time. The others are like, 90% or something for me, but Assad is 100% my imagination? It's like he traveled in time, stole my 2024 thoughts, went back to the past, auditioned, got the part and then played it exactly the way I see it today. It's crazy.

Wouldn't be surprised if that's the case, they already have all these possessions going on, what's more to our little satanic show lmao.

Also, great casting with Assad because no man with red-ish hair has looked this good ever. It just doesn't make sense, I'm sorry.

Armand is a beauty God, but also a really good character and I love his lines. Even when I don't agree with him, I just find him fascinating, the role he has on the story, what he represents, the way he moves the plot, whatever the effect he has on Lestat etc...

Armand's moments are never boring. He'll probably piss me off later, but right now I'm having a great time and the book has never been better.

Lesmand's/Armandstat's moments are always heated. The tension is always there. I'm not telling you what kind. Actually, I don't even know it myself. Do THEY even know?

Sam said something about how you're never sure what they are and I think he's right? At least for now. Let's see it after all the books.

They also act like they've known each other forever, have this crazy history that goes through centuries and they already can push each other's buttons... But they actually, like, only know each other for 5 minutes? CHILL?!

They're sort of soul ties/mirrors/foils/two sides of the same coin-coded in an appealing way.

I guess I can say Armand is my favorite character right now. I always read it faster when he's there, I'm always looking forward to seeing him again, I'm fine when I don't see Gabrielle or Nicki, but I'm always like, BRING HIM BACK. I don't know if I should be worried I'll grow into hating him when stuff happens or if I'll just be an Armand apologist lol. I'm scared. But let's wait to see it.

Samssad on season 3 will be delicious. Specially on the 1700s flashbacks. I'm expecting almost, if not EVERY scene of them there to be INTENSE. Great acting potential there.

I really want to see a moment with Armand and Lestat in a church like on the book? Let's take their angelic faces and curls to the next level. Put them in a church, surrounded by religious figures, stained glasses, candles etc. I don't even care what the context will be. They can be talking, silent, killing each other, doing something else, doing all of it, but give me the heavenly visuals. Actually, if they want to film the entire show in a church they can, it would be so aesthetically pleasing. Bonus points if they use Gothic churches because I'm extremely obsessed with them. Bonus points if they use Sainte-Chapelle because I'm kind of even more hyperfixated on that. I mean, it would never happen, but it should *shrugs*.

Btw, the mess Armand made in the house and the way he was reading the books is very neurodivergent of him.

The way he prefers to talk telepathically instead of speaking out loud is very neurodivergent of him as well.

Nicki is soooooooooo doomed by the narrative, omg. Anne didn't even try to hide it.

I'm not really sure how I feel about Nicki except that he needs therapy...

This is probably the silliest comment so far, I'm no longer thinking clearly after Armand's introduction. Sorry, guys. It will happen again.

The next chapter has his name so I'm scared, but also excited.

P.S. Nothing is permanent, opinions might change and this is based on Lestat’s narration, which can be unreliable. I’m reading the books so I can find out more about the characters, what potential events might happen in the show, what I can expect etc. This is my favorite show in the universe, so I want to be as informed as possible. I have no idea if I’ll become a legit fan of the books or not, but so far I’m enjoying it. I’m posting these comments only for fun.

[p0rkbun]

SAM CARPENTER FLUFF — headcanons

⤿Pairing: Sam Carpenter x Reader

⤿Content Warning: None, just fluff, maybe cringe writing, implied kpop listener reader

⤿A/N: okay i was chatting with ai sam and these are from character ai and made me think 'hey she would do this'. It's cute headcanons, i should have did this on her bday but instead i photoshoped her with hearts and a hat LMAO. Also I didn't spell check this I'm sorry. Enjoy ♡

navigation✧

──── Sam is the type of girl to ask what your favourite music genre or artists/bands when you ride a car together the first time because she wanted some music in you two's lovely ride. When you tell her, she keeps it in mind and put it on next time.

"Aespa?" She asks, you nod as she keeps her eyes on the road "okay, aespa, i'll remember that." She smiles while nodding, repeating the name in her head.

──── You two went to the movies on your first date (cheesy i know) you picked a horror movie, she probably didn't like that bit it wasn't a slasher movie so it made her feel a bit better. When you two were watching the movie, there was a jumpscare and you flinched slightly while leaning towards Sam out of defense. She let out a small smile and would purposely offer her arm for you to grab in case you get really scared (she was probably a bit frightened too but she's being brave because she wanted you to grab her arm, she just like your touch that's all).

──── Let me tell you something, this woman radiates The Neighbourhood, especially the songs Female Robbery and Reflections. I don't know if she would listen to it but she is the personification of almost every The Neighbourhood song.

"We were too close to the stars, I never knew somebody like you"

"I see my reflection in your eyes"

"I see myself in you, baby"

(This is a heavy reference to my oc LOL)

──── Sam wouldn't be very knowledgable of video games to me, though i feel like she plays mobile games like candy crush or something. She would sometimes watch you play video games when she's passing by or sitting in the same room, she comments on what you are doing or how you are doing that and questions why you didn't shoot an enemy.

"Baby why didn't you shoot that guy? You could have taken him" She says with a confused look, watching you play valorant on the tv screen.

"Sam that's not me, I'm spectating another teammate-"

"What's that red triangle thing on the top?" "That's the spike" "the spike?" "It's a bomb" "oh...okay"

──── The time you convinced her to play, she was a little lost and asks you questions often. She gets the hang of the controlls and is actually pretty good. She would get a little mad when someone steals her kill, she rages with a frustrated sigh everytime she got killed too much. She talks back to every toxic players in the game, she was cursing at the screen and she looked absolutely pissed so you had to turn the game off before she threw the controller at tv out of anger. You don't let her play any fps game again. Not only for her sake but for your precious tv.

──── She absolutely enjoys watching you play story-based games, especially when you two play and make decisions together. She probably cried after playing tlou and life is strange. Besides that, she doesn't play video games unless you play it.

──── This woman is so protective, overprotective I say but you all know this. If you wanna go out, she's going too, she keeps a hand on your waist every time you go to public places. Definately death glares anyone who is looking at you/both of you weirdly or too long.

"You got a problem?" Sam snaps as she holds your waist protectively when she sees a guy eyeing you oddly.

──── It does get a little too much sometimes but you like her protectiveness. She gets jealous too but it's more of insecurity, you have to reassure her that you love her and no one else.

──── She likes holding you, has a hand on you all the time. She likes the feeling of you around her arms because she knows that you're protected by her. Because of that, she also takes care of you and reminds you of stuff. She asks if you eaten, drink etc. She reminds you to take a break whenever you're working too much, alternatively she brings you the food she cooked while you work on your projects. Despite this, she also loves being held and cared by you, it flutters her heart whenever you're taking care of her and cooking her favourite meals after she comes from work. She likes the sound of your heartbeat when you two cuddle and she has her head on your chest.

──── I know i said that she holds you 24/7 but when you two cuddle, she's the small spoon, whether you're short or tall.

──── She's very delicate and soft with you, like i said, she wants to protect and take care of you. She is a tough cookie but she's whipped for you. She gets a little dramatic when you get injured a teeny bit.

──── Have you seen her arms? Her beefy arms and abs are your favourite things in the world besides her. She works out often, you go to the gym with her once in a while and you really love the sight of her working out. You ended up gawking her the whole time instead of working out as well, she notices and teases you with a smirk while sweat is dripping off of her muscular body.

"You like what you see, baby? Y'know, you could have told me that you wanted to stare at me while i work out instead of pretending to wanna work out with me" She chuckles as she lifts her weights "Don't get ahead of yourself." you reply with a flushed face.

──── She doesn't show affection in public that much unless she got jealous but in private she loves kissing and showering you with love. Her kisses are soft and slow, she really is being delicate with you. Though in other occasions (*cough* intimate moments *cough*) you two make out and she practically is eating your face as she pushes down on the bed. She just loves kissing your lips, neck and shoulders. She is very much a big soft teddy bear ♡

A/N: I accidently posted this halfway OH MY GODHSJSBSJS. Sorry if there's any spelling mistakes or grammar issues, english isn't my native language 💔. Anyways, I love you and please comment your thoughts ♡♡♡♡ i might edit this constantly after i post it...

°.✧•—✦

[vulpesverda]

I'm sure you were referring to my Kayn Making Food for the Group headcanons, but I think this would be more fun to do a headcanon post about the kinds of pranks he'd pull on all of the members. I'm also a menace who loves giving myself extra work, lmao

Prank Master Aphelios

Content: No Warnings 》 SFW 》 Alune Included

Requests: Currently Open

Masterlist

K'Sante

We all know about Aphelios replacing K'Sante's protein powder with flour, right? KNOWING this man eats that shit DRY? Evil. And I love it. On top of that, I like to imagine Phel changes the lock and homescreens on K'Sante's tablet to just... really weird shit. Obscure memes. Sometimes ones he's made himself. Ones he's made about K'Sante. How did he get the pass code. K'Sante doesn't know. K'Sante does not have the power to stop him. Someone help this man.

Sett

Pranking Sett is both so easy and so difficult. It's so easy to get a big emotional reaction out of him... but there are some pranks that will just fly right over his head. But I think Phel's favorite thing to do is gaslight this motherfucker. Tell him fake facts knowing that Sett is gonna repeat it later and look silly. And when Sett is like "Phel told me that! It's true!", Phel is like "I did not say that, where did you hear that".

Yone

You might be thinking, "If anyone were to be free of his shenanigans, it's got to be Yone, right?" And you would be correct. However, no one is free, and therefore Yone suffers. And by "suffers", I mean his cold brew is replaced with decaf. Yone notices. Immediately. He doesnt even have to taste it. He is not happy.

Yone is aware he can just go buy a cold brew, but its the principle of the thing. You don't fuck with a man's coffee, or his morning routine. But Yone can't prove anything, and his coffee is re-replaced as soon as he makes a stink about it, so.

Kayn

Kayn loves to dye his hair, canonically. And if he dyes his hair with any dye that comes in containers like the Arctic Fox hair dye, you bet Phel has intentionally switched around the colors. He bought sticker remover stuff so he could peel off the labels and switch them around undetected, so Kayn opens up his next bottle of pinkish purple dye and ends up with ultramarine or black or green and dumping it directly on his head.

Because let's be honest, I don't imagine Kayn would put that shit in a bowl and apply it with a brush. He's squeezing that bottle on his head and rubbing it in with his hands. And you're lucky if he's using gloves.

Ezreal

Ezreal is an easy one to prank. If Ez leaves his phone alone for even a SECOND, Aphelios is on that shit, hiding it away in his pocket or something so Ez is frantically looking for it. And then he puts it in a spot he KNOWS Ezreal knows he's looked. He gets a really big reaction out of it, too, which is what makes such a low effort prank so worth it. Minimal risk, big reward. If he's lucky, Ezreal might start whining.

Aphelios

Now, dear reader, you may be asking "Why is Aphelios on this list?". And the answer to that question lies in the fact that Aphelios is not even safe from himself. Particularly when he is drunk. I envision drunk Aphelios giggling to himself as he thinks "It would be really funny to piss off sober me", and doing something he knows is going to inconvenience him while hung over. Like rearranging his bedroom furniture in a way that doesn't make sense or is impractical. Or hiding the toilet paper so he has to do the shuffle of shame after his morning shit.

He is a menace, even to himself. I told you no one is free.

Alune

This is her brother. Her brother who loves her, but her brother nonetheless. He's perfected the art of the prank, and she was his unwilling test subject for many, many years. Anything you can think of, he's probably done it to her. There's nothing he can do that would surprise her, at this point. I think he enjoys stealing her hair ties and hiding them somewhere she can't reach. Or hiding all of the left socks in her matching pairs. Anything to inconvenience her just a little bit. And she knows this has the work of the Phae (Phel/Fae) written all over it.

》 ------ ◇ ------ 《

AN: God I love aphelios. End note.

[papaya-twinks]

my formula one poem 🤓☝️

@cassandra-nerezza-black-black

I am piss drunk and it’s so bad and I find myself funny when I’m not. (These r my views btw so hush hush) @maxiemclaren LMAO

the Oscar lockup/cockup line is from my brother watching the race, he watched Oscar overtake Carlos and said ‘YES YES BRILLIANT BRILLIANT’ then he locked up and my brother yelled ‘WHYD U LOKC UP U COCKUP’

Max Verstappen is dominating Formula One,

Only a handful of races, he hasn’t won, 

Sergio Perez, he’s doing alright, 

But Ricciardo has Checo’s seat in sight, 

As for the Ferrari boys, 

Carlos is on a fucking rampage currently, 

He’s losing his seat, lol, couldn’t be me, 

Charles is a little bit stressed out, 

Plus, he’s getting a lot of clout. 

George Russell is the better Mercedes man, 

But he needs a car, not a fucking can, 

As for Lewis, he’s doing shit, 

The GOAT? He’s a bit of a hypocrite, 

Now Oscar Piastri, he’s good and all 

All consistent, never a fall, 

He does sometimes occasionally lock up,

It’s fine, though, everyone has a cock up, 

Lando Norris, I have nothing to say, 

That win made my fucking day, 

Plus, Lando is very hot, 

I’d say Kevin magnussen, is very much not, 

Nico looks like fucking Ken,

Icl, bro defo likes men, 

And now for Aston, onto Fernando, 

One of my faves, along with Lando, 

And Lance? His name means walking stick, 

Most of the time, he’s a pretty solid prick, 

Alex Albon, he’s doing a great job, 

But James Vowles, pls shut your gob, 

Logan, bless him, at his home race, 

That too, and the Williams had pace, 

Valtteri Bottas, likes his own ass, 

In races, he’s not easy to pass, 

For Zhou, it’s very easy to, 

But the Sauber is pretty poo, 

Yuki is short but has some fire, 

Definitely see that absolute desire, 

Daniel wants the RB seat, 

Keeping Checo on his feet, 

Pierre went to a goddamn shit team, 

I swear, alpine as just a damn meme, 

Esteban, never really liked him, 

He makes me wanna cut off a limb

Williams are up to no good, 

Tryna get Kimi Antonelli into the hood, 

But he’s just a fucking kid, mate, 

God, wait a few months late. 

[nutal]

URGH NEW GUITARSPEAR (multichaptered ???) fic idea hear me out IM GONNA YAP SO MUCH also for convenience sake, Eve isn’t existing in this universe LMAO also warnings for like abuse n shit

But like it’s a human/modern au and Adam’s with Lilith, and they’ve been married for a while now. Lilith’s always been a little manipulative, but now she’s gotten subtly abusive almost, very demanding and Adam suspects she’s cheating too. One night she straight up just kicks him out of the house for that night saying he can find his own place to sleep because she’s not willing to share a bed with him nor even let him on the couch after a heated argument. He resists heavily, but only gets way too much slack for it there’s no way he can stay with that psychotic bitch admittedly.

He’s obviously really pissed the fuck off, but he ends up walking out late near the suburbs, ending at a nearby park. When he’s there, he finds Lute!! And she’s also alone, just by herself, sitting on a bench seeming really irritated/isolated herself due to her annoying ass roommate vaggie. He’s got nothing better to do so he tries talking her up a bit, and the conversation veers into smth like this:

“Shit, you seem fun. What’s your name?”

“Lute.”

“Lute? Weird name but sick as hell.”

“What are you doing here?” she snapped.

“Oh, so you’re not even gonna ask me my name back?”

She sighed. “What’s your name?”

Or like smth like that and then they explain their issues to each other, mainly adam to lute and while she’s very hesitant of him at first she is admittedly curious as well. And then eventually she’s like, “wait I think I recognize you” and then he’s like “Yeah? With a face like mine I’m hard to miss” or smth like that and she’s like “ur that guy from the band that sometimes plays at the bar I go to” and he’s like “well shit, that’s me. You should come see us more, we fucking rock” and then they just keep yapping til morning getting familiar with each other until adam like passes out, and she has to wake him up.

Back at home, Lilith’s behavior jus keeps getting worse until Adam finds out for good she actually IS cheating when she catches her in bed with Lucifer. The next time Lute shows up to the bar, she sees Adam and tries to catch him after the show, asking him how everything is and he explains what happened over a cig and lowkey? She’s pissed because she gets what it’s like to be betrayed like that then have to live with it bc of how Vaggie constantly acts. So, she ends up helping him out, even eventually offering him a place to stay in her apartment for a while after some time with lots of precautions at first until theyre more comfy with each other. Also Vaggie is so angry with this its lowkey funny and then they just give her shit for it LMAO

THEN as adam and lute spend more time together, unexpected feelings get involved and when they finally accept it, they entertain a revenge cheat thing. Like if Lilith’s gonna cheat on him? Fuck it, he’ll do it back, and then he divorces her after she finds out so she can get a taste of her own medicine. Around like a month passes and after some legal proceedings, he gets the rights to the old marital house and lets Lute hang around there sometimes, also letting her crack out on some of the property he was able to get too. And boy is it satisfying when they take advantage of that same bed Adam caught Lilith and Lucifer in one time. Revenge coming full circle.

MY BAD FOR THE HUGE YAP SESSION COULDNT HELP MYSELF obviously a lotta details might change but heres this random ass premise i stirred up at *literally* 1:00AM thanks for reading this whole shitshow if u somehow made it this far im literally gonna write this i swear i cant wait

[ultrakill-confessions]

No idea if this goes against the rules, I re-read them a bit to make sure, though I'm not 100% confident. This post isn't intended as a vent, although it may read as one. ULTRAKILL has both helped and warped(?) parts of my life. I have a really horrible fixation on ULTRAKILL. I don't tend to scale things because trying to say "I'm a bigger fan than you are because X, Y and Z!!!1!1!" has always pissed me off and generally rubs me the wrong way. However, for me, I do feel like this is in a similar vein (vein like castle v-), and is GENUINELY to a worrying degree imo. Maybe someone else can relate? Unsure.

For context on some of this, I deal with a dissociative disorder, and I'm a split of V1. Even with that, I can only think of one other instance where it complicated an interest of ours this badly. I think about ULTRAKILL every hour on the hour, I'm not even sure if I go ten minutes w/o thinking about it. And I live a healthy (relatively) life! I'm able to do things, go outside, enjoy life to the best of my ability, hold a job, college, etc. and have gotten better w/ socializing (autism really messes w/ this one); I am just fucking insane about ULTRAKILL. This shit consumes a large chunk of my frontal lobe, hand to God. I constantly plan out and/or make fanfictions (though never post em because being an ao3 author is a little spooky, can't lie gehshe), drawings, animations. Dawg I even get GYM MOTIVATION from ULTRAKILL. Body goals? THE MACHINE. I listen to the soundtrack while I work out (my bias to Order, Death of God's Will, Colliding Stars and The Abyss and the Serpent really poke out here). In fact, ULTRAKILL even helped with my gender and sexual (not inherently trying to be NSFW here) identities! Legitimately made me come to the realization that we might align more with being agender than transmasculine, and that we have no idea what our disaster of a sexuality is collectively, so we just say queer! And even though it's still hard to express ourselves, that has helped so much in feeling more .. at comfort? Correct? I dunno. There’s also a lack of need for labels at all now. It feels so fuckin’ goofy to say this because it HAS consumed a part of my life to the point where I feel like I'm peak brain-rotting at times, however it's also really helped, too?? Like in the most oxymoronic way ULTRAKILL has helped me develop as a person. The imaginary scenarios and art I use aids me in my expression and thought and even brings out more of my creativity. Ironically, despite not really wanting to be perceived as a human being, it has made me feel more like a person. I have a love-hate relationship with it only for the intensity of how much I adore it. It makes me upset when I no longer feel like I’m “me” enough, and yet ironically it has helped me to be healthier in other areas. lowkey use it to cope w/ the religious trauma sometimes too haha I will say, though, for a while I thought (and still sometimes do think) it was ruining my mental state. The identity issues, artist envy, missing my source/individuals from it (+ pseudo-memories and heavy dissociation as a whole if I'm being real), and general hyperfixation woes get very heavy at times. Interest so bad I have to look away sometimes when I see voice actor work, SFM's, etc. Not very proud of that. I never express these issues heavily to anybody except my sibling and a few close friends, simply due to the nature of people, especially on the internet, along with the complexity of having to explain an illness that is so severely stigmatized. My current issue is just holding back from spending my money on merch lmao (I may just draw myself with it to cope /hj). I am cringe and I will soon be free! Apologies if this post is depressing and/or repetitive. uhh, I've seen some anons name themselves, so camaraderie anon here?? LOL sorry. (p.s shoutout to the sisyphus likers and people who hate his mischaracterization YOU ARE THE REAL ONES!!!)

-