#I really do fucking love this poem so god damn much btw

[skid-the-mighty-poet]

[wetalkinboutbooks]

Realm of Ash by Tasha Suri

Summary:  The fate of an empire rests in the hands of a young woman with magical blood and nothing left to lose, and an outcast prince determined to save his family at any cost, in this "dark, melodious, and memorable" new fantasy (Library Journal, starred review) from the author of the award-winning Empire of Sand.

The Ambhan Empire is crumbling. A terrible war of succession hovers on the horizon. The only hope for peace lies in the mysterious realm of ash, where mortals can find what they seek in the echoes of their ancestors' dreams. But to walk there requires a steep price.

Arwa is determined to make the journey. Widowed by a brutal massacre, she's pledged service to the royal family and will see that pledge through to the end. She never expected to be joined by Zahir, the disgraced, illegitimate prince who has turned to forbidden magic in a desperate bid to save those he loves.

Together, they'll walk the bloody path of their shared past. And it will call into question everything they've ever believed...including whether the Empire is worth saving at all. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 

Overall: Realm of Ash is a great follow-up to Empire of Sand, where we follow Arwa who was introduced briefly in Empire of Sand. There is quite a bit of political intrigue in the first half which sets the pacing a bit slow but picks up quickly once the characters go through big revelations. The characters and their motivations draw you in, and overall it was a good read!

~Check out our spoiler Full Review Below

A QUICK SUMMARY: 

So, this book picks up twelve years later from where we last visited this world in Empire of Sand. In this book, we are following the story of a once minor character, Mehr’s little sister, Arwa. Arwa has grown and married and been widowed when we meet her again. She is on her way to a widows hermitage where she is to live out the rest of her days in mourning, after losing her husband. 

Since the Maha’s death, this world had descended into chaos. The daiva, aka, eternal spirits, aka CHILDREN OF THE GODS, have been wreaking a bit of havoc on the world. If you remember, the Maha was manipulating the dreams of the Gods to favour the kingdom. When he was defeated, those dreams had begun to take their natural course. With dreams come nightmares. And those nightmares have taken form. BUT. The daiva protect their own blood, which is the Amrithi people. Arwa is half Amrithi, but she isn’t sure if the daiva are there to protect or hurt her. In addition, her mother (aka stepmom) raises her believing that Amrithi are cursed and savages, and essentially taught her to hate herself. 

In the widow’s hermitage, she meets an influential widow, Gulshera, and realizes she has connections to the imperial family and because Arwa doesn’t care about anything she offers herself up as a tool to the royals. So, Gulshera takes Arwa to serve under Princess Jihan, we’re subjected to court politics and meet Prince Zahir, aka a bastard. Together, Arwa and Zahir work together to find the Maha in the Realm of Ash (essentially a spirit world) so they can unlock a way to save the empire from ruin. Princess Jihan turns around and essentially implies that she sent Arwa to Zahir to ‘PLEASE’ him in an INTIMATE fashion. Arwa doesn’t take it and gets mad but Zahir isn’t here for it and it’s smooth sailing again. 

During a trip into the Realm of Ash Arwa realizes the truth behind her Amrithi blood and the Maha’s crimes and shares it with Zahir. They both struggle, Arwa being staunchly anti-empire and Zahir trying to do something to prove his worth to his sister. When the emperor dies, he names Zahir as the Maha’s heir and Jihan’s older brother Prince Akhtar as Emperor. A few murders later, a different Emperor sits on the throne and Zahir has a bounty on his head. Zahir and Arwa use the aid of a secret women’s society Zahir’s mom was a part of to escape to where the Maha was stationed to find the secret to the empire’s success, discovering cursed towns, ghosts from their pasts, and their feelings for one another. 

The Good:

→ Zahir

Kae:  So ZAHIR! I love him. He is as kind as a kitten. As sweet as an apple pie. But because he is a bastard, he is hidden away in tombs that were converted to be his rooms. There, he does research on how to restore peace and order to the Empire. He knows his days are numbered, being the bastard son of the Emperor, so he is essentially doing research to bargain his own life. Besides that, he genuinely likes learning and spent the majority of his days doing that anyway before he was banished to the tombs to live in secret. 

When we first meet Zahir, he is studying by candlelight in his rooms. Arwa finds a bit of power in him not noticing her, and takes the time to watch him for a moment. She thinks he’s handsome with his ‘pretty face’ and sharp, slender form. She’s like “damn he’s kinda hot… but I'm a widow… I’m not allowed to think boys are hot anymore.” But alas, she thinks he handsome. So they assess each other for a moment and agree to be apprentice and teacher.. Zahir gives Arwa poems and books to read that will help her better understand about the Realm of Ash and what he is working on. 

Geena: Arwa wears a veil for 90% of the book because such is the way of the widow, so she makes a point to stare at Zahir through her veil because she knows he can’t see her checking him out. And this boy turns around and hands her poetry, the more we learn about the nocturnal prince the more you realize he’s such a Soft Boi™ who loves literature and wants to desperately prove that his life has worth. His mother was killed because she tried to give the Emperor some advice, and the Empire of Ambha drinks the ‘women aren’t shit’ juice so she was labelled a traitor and murdered. Zahir only survives because Princess Jihan loves him, and as a legitimate spoiled princess she has to be pampered. Zahir has the ability to study and work with magic, because his mother was part of a secret women’s society that did so and it was passed onto him, so he’s been tasked with figuring out a way to stop the Empire’s decline ever since the Maha died. 

His character made me sad a little bit, because he feels like he should have died with his mother to some extent. And Jihan has led him to believe that his life being worth something depends solely on the fact if he can find the Maha’s spirit and save the empire. He’s treated like trash by everyone else because he’s a bastard and into witchcraft, even Arwa thinks he’s a weirdo in the beginning. But he’s such a kind-hearted soul?? Who btw respects women, when Arwa accuses him of tryna sleep with her, Zahir is like “MA’AM, I RESPECT YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART IDK WHAT SHIT MY SISTERS BEEN DRINKING BUT I WOULD NEVER!” well, he’s less dramatic than that but yea he suggests laying out rules so they don’t cross the apprentice/teacher dynamic. Also, during one trip into the Realm of Ash and Arwa’s veil comes off and she literally snaps at him to not look at her face (bc it is not the widow way) he straight up doesn’t look at her face ever for a good portion of the book after that skfjdf.  

Kae: YEH HE JUST LOOKS AT HER HANDS. SOFTIE. I LOVE HIM. 

Geena: Hand fetish IM JOKING… BUT SNDKFJDNST THAT’S ALL I COULD IMAGINE.. Arwa was like “Man, my veils off but this boy is still looking at my HANDS” 

The Bad:

→ Gulshera and the Royals

Kae: Gulshera! Ohh, she made me mad at the end. But like, I get it, ya know? So Gulshera, our bow-wielding widow, was Princess Jihan’s nursemaid and confidant. So when Gulshera finds out Arwa is Amrithi (because Arwa got caught trying to rid the Hermitage of daiva) she basically goes to Arwa like “You know you gotta get up outta here right? You can’t stay here, shawty.” But she gives Arwa the option of possibly going to the Empire and devoting herself to the Princess and her cause for solving the Empires bad luck. So Arwa goes, meets Zahir, yada yada yada. 

Gulshera asks Arwa very vague questions about what she’s doing but doesn’t exactly want to know what Arwa is doing. She just a lil nosey. So after a while, the Emperor dies and the named prince is killed by his brother. Zahir is next and he and Arwa escape. Eventually, they are found in the desert where Gulshera shoots the shit out of Arwa’s shoulder. It’s such a bad blow that Arwa is pretty much bleeding out. I was like, yo what the FUCK GULSHERA. 

Geena: YEA LIKE SHE PRETENDS TO BE HER ALLY AND CARE FOR HER BUT TURNS AROUND AND IS LIKE “SORRY BABES IMPERIALISM ALWAYS WINS” 

Kae: AND THAT’S THE TEA BAYBEEEEEE. IT was such bullshit. But again, I get it. Gulshera is like “It’s either me or you… And I raised the princess so imma do what she says and also I knew her longer soooo…. Bye Arwa. This will haunt me for the rest of my days… but it be like that.” 

Geena: Kae covered Gulshera really well! But yea she was a stank old lady in the end, like you’re essentially the reason Arwa is where she is but you’re acting like you had nothing to do with anything. BUT N E WAYS, I’m gonna talk about Princess Jihan a lil bit because she annoyed me too. She was privileged and used Arwa like a ragdoll, actually not even just Arwa but her brother she claimed to love too. Jihan really guilt-tripped the FUCK out of Zahir being all “Did I save you from nothing? Do I deal with other’s scrutiny for nothing? Prove your worth to me brother, prove that I’ve placed my love in the right man” and I was like……  bitch…. She might have been a princess but she was the queen of emotional manipulation. Also, she claimed to be for the women but essentially told Arwa that one of her jobs was to fuck Zahir and like…. Hello….. What is wrong with you. 

OH AND ANOTHER THING… when it’s revealed that the Maha used Amrithi people to shape the Empire’s success, and Zahir confronts Jihan about this she’s like “Yea, and?” like she saw no problem in using a group of people and villainizing them in the same breath…  Imperialism is a hell of a drug 

The Ugly:  

→ The Nightmare

Kae: So the Nightmare was truly… A nightmare. 

When we first learn about how Arwa became a widow, we learn about an incident that took place at a military base called Darez Fort. Darez Fort is where Arwa stayed with her husband, Kamran. We learn some soldiers come back with what they think is a Daiva, trapped in a little cage/crate thing. When they open it up, it appears to be a childlike creature. But it soon reveals a face of white bone and attacks everyone in the fort. The Nightmare makes the men turn on each other as well and it’s quite literally a blood bath. Everyone is dead. The maids, the cooks, the soldiers, and Kamran. All killed. BUT THERE IS A DAIVA THERE. It’s Arwa’s litter guardian angel. She knows her blood protects her, so in a panic, she makes this big ass cut on her arm and surrounds herself with her blood. The Daiva protects her from the Nightmare and she is the only survivor of Darez Fort. 

The Nightmare leaves a sense of fear in Arwa that literally makes her shake. She can kind of sense when it’s near. So on her journey with Zahir and a guards woman named Eshara, they end up at another fort for a rest. Some soldiers are ordered by this mean ass general to stay inside the fort because they aren’t allowed to leave. This is when Arwa gets that chilling sense of fear as she did in Darez Fort. SOME EVIL SHIT IS AFOOT. 

Geena: Yesss, the nightmares are like anti-daiva essentially. I really liked their concept and how they factored in with the worldbuilding. What makes them terrifying is that the Maha spent how many centuries fending off nightmares by using Amrithi, but suddenly without him to control how gods dream, nightmares are flooding the empire. Arwa manages to defeat the nightmares by unlocking the memories of her past ancestors from the Realm of Ash and crudely dancing a rite that locks nightmares in cages. Along with Zahir, Arwa figures out that nightmares consider themselves some sort of god and love to be worshipped. Both Zahir and Arwa decide that the empire can rot, and the nightmares can do what they want but they’ll teach anyone with amrithi blood to dance the rite and worship the nightmares to prevent any more massacres like Darez Fort.

→ Maha

Geena: God….. This stankass wrinkly-ass bitchboy really sunk his claws so deep into the Ambhan people that after he died, he was thought to be a martyr. Like 12 years after his death and people still worship him, and mourn his death? Mehr and Amun went through so much to end his reign of terror yet the empire continued to worship him. I’m sure they didn’t have the time or power to go around and spread the truth behind the Maha’s work but good LORD was it grating to read people missing that disgusting man. But thinking back on it, even if Amun and Mehr had exposed him… would people have believed an Amrithi couple that killed their beloved Maha? They probably would’ve killed them instead :(

Though, this was an interesting detail that Tasha Suri included. That, despite the evil being defeated, people will refuse to acknowledge it as evil and continue to point fingers at marginalized people for the problems caused by the evil being. 

The Awesome:

→ Arwa and Mehr

Kae: If y’all could see me now, you would see me doing a little dance because BIIIIITCH. I WAS LIVIIIIING SOLELY FOR MEHR AND ARWA TO MEET UP AGAIN. EVERY PAGE I WAS LIKE “is Arwa gonna talk about Mehr? Does she miss her sister?” AND SHE DID SOMETIMES AND I LOVED IT. AND THEN ARWA SAID SHE WAS TOLD HER SISTER HAD DIED AND I WAS LIKE NOOOOO. SHE IS ALIVE, ARWA. SHE IS ALIIIIVE. 

So when Arwa was in the Realm of Ash, she had seen Mehr and was SHOOK. Because you can only see dead relatives in the Real of Ash. So she actively avoided Mehr in the Realm because it hurt too much to see her there. It just confirmed that her sister was dead. And even I was confused because I was like “Ummm, Tasha… I know you didn’t kill off my girl after she done went through all that shit.” So I started thinking…. Because in the Realm of Ash, you saw the dead as grey ash. Shadows. But she saw Mehr in colour and full of life. So I had this theory that since Mehr has Amata (Amrithi spiritual magic closer to the ancestors) that she was seeing Mehr in the realm because of how close Mehr’s amata was so the ancestors and daiva. 

GUESS WHO WAS RIGHT BITCH? MEEEEEE. I CALLED THAT SHIT. IT’S MY SUPERPOWER. So like, as Arwa is dying from that arrow bitchass GUlshera shot her with, she ventures into the Realm and see’s Mehr again. She calls out to her, and Mehr sees her. She promises to find her. 

When Zahir and Arwa escape from his sister’s claws, the daiva take them out into the desert. Mehr eventually finds them and brings them back to her home. When Arwa wakes up, she is greeted by Mehr bandaging her up. They cry and hug. I CRY BECAUSE I’M SO DAMN HAPPY. I LOVE A GOOD REUNION. MEHR LOVED ARWA SO MUCH AND ARWA LOVED MEHR. AND THEY WERE SEPERATED AND HADN’T EVEN KNOWN THE OTHER WAS STILL ALIVE. AND THERE THEY WERE. TOGETHER. AND ALIVE AND HUGGING AND CRYING. It was beautiful. I was like, ugly crying. So thank you, Tasha. Thank you for writing that scene so well because it was happy and emotional and they both deserved to see each other again. It will go down as one of my top 5 reunion scenes. 

I’d also like to say, unrelated to Mehr-- That Awra and Zahir did admit their love for each other and kissed. And Zahir was Arwa’s, and Arwa was Zahir’s, though they made it clear that they belonged to no one. They belonged to each other. And their love was so soft and built on mutual respect. They were both very lonely and longed for one another, but never pursued because Arwa didn’t want to break the honour code of the “widows way” or whatever, and Zahir didn’t want to disrespect her. BUT THEIR MINDS. THEY LOVED EACH OTHER. So they both finally gave in. And it was lovely. 

Geena: ugghh yess, Arwa and Zahir’s relationship was based on mutual respect and love (just like Mehr and Amun!). In both instances, people forced them together but it was only through their own agency that they fell in love with one another, and support each other wholeheartedly. 

ALSO, THE REUNION KSJNFKSJF I had a suspicion that Mehr was alive too based on everything that Kae mentioned too! So, when Mehr says to Arwa that she’ll come for her I sCREAMED!!!! I loved it so much, them crying in each other’s arms… Arwa seeing Mehr’s own kid… LIKE HELLO??? 

Kae: AND TASH SAID HER AND AMUN COULDN’T HAVE KIDS BECAUSE OF THE RITES SO I WAS SHOOK AND HAPPY AND OMG. literally SCREAMING. 

Geena: YEA I REMEMBER THAT, BUT THEN I ALSO REMEMBERED YOUR THEORY! Where the Maha had said that people that danced the rite couldn’t have children because he tried to impregnate amrithi women he enslaved but it didn’t work… and Kae you’d said it was probably because he was shooting dust and YOU WERE RIGHT!!!

Kae: IT’S MY SUPERPOWER. IM TELLING YOU. I CAN GUESS THE SHIT OUT OF SHIT. 

Geena: KJDSFNKSDJF I LOVE YOUR SUPERPOWER!!! My only complaint was that we didn’t get a longer scene with Mehr/Amun and Arwa/Zahir bonding :( I wanted mooorreee… other than that it was everything! 

Conclusion

Geena: TO CONCLUDE! Tasha Suri didn’t disappoint with this sequel… and it’s so easy to write a shitty sequel but she was like nAH WE’RE NOT ABOUT THAT LIFE. And we loved it! There was a slow start as we read Arwa struggling with her internalized hate, but after she realized that she came from a people who have survived in Ambha in the face of adversity the book sped up real fast. The romance was so soft and wholesome and everything that we want in a relationship, Tasha knows EXACTLY what she’s doing when she’s writing romance. I don’t trust anyone else with a romance this soft, and I cannot wait to read her upcoming series that feature a wlw couple.  

Kae: GEENA SAID IT ALL. Tasha knows how to write a romance. I love soft boi’s that will also murder a man for you if need me. LIKE YAAAS HE’S SENSITIVE AND RESPECTS ME AND WILL BEAT SOMEONE'S ASS FOR ME. WE LOVE TO SEE IT. Honestly though, overall, this was such a stunning sequel. Because Geena and I have read some sequels that were…. How to say this nicely… fucking terrible. Tasha is a phenomenal writer and I know her upcoming series will be great too! This book was full of lessons. One being, SELF HATRED IS FUCKING TRASH. SO LOVE YOURSELF AND YOUR RICH BACKGROUND. BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL LOOK DOWN ON YOU  FOR WHO YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU COMF FROM SOMETIMES, AND YOU JUST GOTTA SAY FUCK ‘EM AND KEEP IT MOVING. 

Geena: JKSNFKJSNDSKJF YAAAS, ALSO IK IT WAS BRIEF BUT LIKE DAMN… TASHA REALLY WENT HARD WITH THE AMRITHI IN THIS BOOK AND HOOBOY… Like the insights into past ancestors? And the fact that there are so many mixed Amrithi people that have been forced to hide their heritage… once again…  I M P E R I A L I S M and G E N O C I D E… this series covered it pretty well… PLEASE READ AND SUPPORT TASHA 

[nerdypinupcrystal]

Every Breath You Take Chapter 4: Modern Love

I’m baaaack! Thanks again for following and reblogging this story! I love all of you!!! We’ve got a nice lengthy chapter here, with a lot more interaction between Matt and Iris.  This was a lot of fun to write and I hope you enjoy it! Btw, to set the mood for the chapter, listen to Modern Love by David Bowie while reading :)

Chapter 4: Modern Love

After spending the next couple of hours chatting and setting up my new employment, I remembered I needed to do some real grocery shopping.  The bakery started getting a bit busy, so after a quick hug and exchange of phone numbers, I walked out of Sweet Heaven feeling accomplished and excited to start my new job the next morning.

Oh how I wish I could call Mom right now and tell her the good news. God I’ve missed her so much. I felt horrible for not going to visit her as soon as I came to the city. But it wasn’t safe enough yet. I couldn’t risk going and being recognized. What if he found out somehow and something ended up happening to her?

It’s not safe yet, but it will be. Just have to lay low a little longer, then you and Mom will be okay.

Setting those thoughts aside before I could lose myself to them, I set out for the nearest grocery store.

The sun was setting as I walked out of the store carry a few bags of groceries. As I walked down the sidewalk to head home, I spotted a little antique store to my left. A few things to give the apartment a little personality wouldn’t hurt.  With that being reason enough for me, I turned towards the shop and welcomed myself in.

The store was small, cluttered, and it smelled as old as the antiques and knickknacks it was carrying. I might become a regular here.

The house I lived in before was like a museum. All glass and marble,very cold and beautiful, and I wasn’t allowed to touch anything without his permission. I hated that house. It was the “best house on the beach” and I fucking hated it. So now that I was out of there, I became determined to make my home everything that house wasn’t. Everything he looked down his nose at, I wanted to make the center of attention.

I found some books that were still in good condition; Interview with the Vampire, Frankenstein, The Complete Fiction of H.P. Lovecraft, The Complete Tales And Poems of Edgar Allan Poe. That collection of gothic literature was definitely going home with me. I suddenly remembered the groceries in my hands and realized I couldn’t get much today, but I would definitely be going back tomorrow.

As I was walking towards the register to pay, something out the corner of my eye caught my attention. To my right was a table with an array of CDs of different artists ranging from David Bowie to Wanda Jackson. And among this vast collection of music sat a small stereo for sale. It was a combination cassette/CD player that looked to be in decent condition.

It didn’t hit me until now just how much I’ve missed listening to music I loved. He always hated my “juvenile” taste in music, so he made me get rid of all of my albums. He only liked classical music, especially that one horrible symphony he insisted on playing constantly, and had always given me the chills.

Well he’s not here now. And you don’t have to ever hear that terrible music ever again. You know you want your music back. Take it!

Without a second thought, I reached for the stereo and grabbed as many CDs as I could carry; thanking God once again for remembering to take my backpack with me today.  After I paid, I stuffed my new treasures in my backpack, carrying the stereo by the handle along with my groceries, and headed towards home.

As I was getting closer to the apartment building, I felt a shiver down my spine. I was being watched again. I tensed up as I stopped and looked all around me, again not seeing anyone suspicious. I looked up at the roof, only this time it truly was empty up there with not a soul in sight.

I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding, and turned to get to the entrance.  I turned too quickly though, and crashed into a wall of muscle.

“Oh shit!” I yelped as I blindly tripped over our feet and my ass was about to get acquainted with the ground.

At least that would’ve been the case, if the wall of muscle in question hadn’t have caught me faster than I could blink, just a foot away from hitting the pavement.  I looked up at my savior, only to have my jaw drop at seeing the familiar red sunglasses and heart-stopping smile of Matt Murdock.

“Ms. Roberts, I thought we were supposed to worry about me suing you, not the other way around.” He said with a smile but with a concerned tone in his voice.

God, why are you testing me when it comes to this criminally gorgeous man?

I let out a nervous giggle. “Well, Mr. Murdock, if you would just wear a bell around your neck once in a while, maybe I’d hear you and not bump into you every single time we meet.”

He let out a chuckle, sending exciting shivers through my body, giving me goosebumps. “You know, you’re not the first one to suggest I wear a bell around my neck. Maybe I should consider it.”

“Well I’ll be on the lookout for a nice red bell to match your glasses.” I replied, causing him to let out a full laugh, making the shivers running through me even more intense.

“If you get one, I might actually wear it…” he trailed off in thought. “Some day.”

I rolled my eyes and giggled, “People always say “some day” when they actually mean “no chance in Hell”. That kind of defeats the purpose of getting the bell.” I raised my eyebrow at him expectantly as I continued, “You want to try that again, Mr. Murdock?”

Matt looked deep in thought before he leaned in closer, his warm breath making my face heat up like a furnace and my heart racing at ludicrous speed.

He replied with a sly smirk. “Some day.”

“Oh!” I let out an exaggerated gasp like I was insulted and lightly smacked his shoulder with the hand that was holding the small stereo, causing him to laugh once more.  

God, he has a beautiful laugh.  Oh damn it, snap out of it!

I snapped out of my thoughts and took a second to realize we never moved from our spot. He was still holding me in his arms a foot away from the ground.  He held me in what could be a very romantic dip as if we were dancing. My heart raced even faster at the images dancing in my head. I felt his grip tighten around me.

I cleared my throat to break the suddenly intimate moment. “We should probably move out of the way.”

I felt his fingers tighten slightly at my back before clearing his throat as well to reply, “Yeah, sorry, you’re probably right. We should head inside.”

With that, he stood up from his lunge that he held in position for who knows how many minutes (I refused to think about how strong and muscular his thighs must be) and helped me up along. My body lost the warmth it felt while being held in his muscular arms. I felt safe in those arms.

I shook myself out of my daydreaming when I saw two of my grocery bags were on the ground.

Matt must’ve sensed my movement towards the bags.  “Oh Iris, I’m sorry! Here, let me help you.” He said as he crouched down to reach for the bags.

“Oh no, Matt, it’s okay.” I tried to grab the bags first. “I’ve got this.”

But Matt was quicker as he got a hold on the bags before I could touch a strap. “No, please, Iris. I insist. It’s the least I can do after I knocked you off your feet.” He said with an apologetic, but still beautiful smile.

More like swept me off my feet, you mean.

“Well okay, when you put it like that.” Was all I could say without blurting out my inner thoughts.  

“Shall we?” He asked as he held out his arm for me to take, the chivalrous gentleman that he is.

Damn it, Matt! You’re making it harder trying to keep my distance. And making it too damn easy to fall for you, and I barely even know you!

I shook off my inner thoughts and chuckled at the chivalrous gesture as I accepted his arm. “Why yes, we shall. Lead the way, Mr. Murdock.”

“I believe I asked you to call me Matt, Iris,” Matt said with a smirk as we started walking towards the entrance. “And besides, it’s probably not safe for me to do the leading. Call it a hunch.”

I shook my head and giggled at his constant blind jabs. “Fine then, I’ll do the leading, Matt.”

“Well now I think that’s even worse.” Matt’s smirk grew even wider as he commented.

“Wise ass.” I replied, failing to stop my laughter as we entered the building and walked towards the elevator.

We made it up to our floor without further incident. It wasn’t until we came close to my apartment that I realized Matt was still holding my groceries.

I turned to retrieve my groceries from him, “Thanks so much for your help, Matt. I can take it from here.”

However, Matt rebutted, “Nonsense, my lovely neighbor. I can help carry them into your place, if that’s okay of course.”

I hesitated for a minute. I wasn’t sure how to feel about having a man I barely know inside my private home. On the other hand, Matt’s a really nice guy and has given me no reason not to trust him. So far.

“Um, yeah sure,” I finally replied. “Come on in.”

I unlocked the door and allowed Matt inside first. I followed after, leaving the door open. Just in case.

“The counter is about five steps to your right, you can set them down there.” I told him as I made my way over to the counter.

Matt seemed to appreciate the gesture. “Thank you,” he smiled as he walked towards the counter. “Not many people are courteous enough to give helpful tips like that.”

I smiled and replied as I unpacked my groceries, “My mom’s blind. I grew up knowing how be helpful and respectful better than some people.” I figured giving him that one honest thing about me couldn’t hurt.

Matt smiled in understanding. “That must’ve been a challenge growing up.”

I shook my head, “It was at first when I was really little and didn’t quite understand yet, but she’s always been fiercely independent.  She never had too hard of a time being able to do anything without sight.”

“She sounds like an amazing woman.” Matt said with admiration in his voice.

I smiled with pride, “She really is.  I’ve missed her so much.”

Matt frowned, “Oh, I’m sorry. Did she…”

I knew what he was asking and was quick to reply, “Oh no! Not yet, thank God.” I saw Matt relax with relief as I continued, “She’s in a nursing home. She had a stroke.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that.” Matt replied. “Have you gone to see her since you moved here?”

I shook my head in disappointment, “Not yet. I…” I don’t think it’s safe “I want to get settled in my new job first. Which I just got today.” I concluded, wanting to change the subject before I said too much.

Matt seemed to go along with it as he responded, “Oh, that’s great! Where at?”

“This really cute little bakery on the corner of 57th street, so not too far from here. It’s called Sweet Heaven.” I smiled thinking about my exciting new job.

Matt tilted his head in an amused smirk, “The irony of that name is not lost on me.”

I let out a laugh when I got what he meant. “Well the owner does have a quirky sense of humor.” I started putting my groceries away as I continued talking, “Maybe you and Foggy can stop by sometime. The treats are pretty addicting, and I can already recommend some of my favorites.”

Matt chuckled as he replied, “I’m definitely going to take you up on that. Foggy has a hell of a sweet tooth.” He then frowned as he continued, “I’m sorry for how blunt he was earlier, by the way. He tends to speak first and think later.”

I blushed in embarrassment from how I acted that morning. “It’s alright. I’m sorry for leaving so abruptly. Twice now.” I hesitated before I continued with some vague honesty, “I’m going through some stuff right now, that I really don’t want to talk about, and I’ve just been on edge, to say the least.”

Good. Giving him a little bit of truth without the actual details will feel less like lying, and hopefully be enough for him to not ask any questions.

Matt nodded in understanding as it felt like his eyes were staring into mine. “It’s alright, I understand completely.” He stepped closer towards me, stopping at a much closer, but still respectable distance. “And if you ever need any kind of help, or at least someone to talk to, I’m a really good listener. You’re a really nice girl to have as a neighbor, and if it’s alright with you, I’d like to be your friend.” He finished with sweet, gentle smile.

My heart was beating so fast, I thought it would beat out of my chest. He sounded so sweet and sincere, and already treated me with more respect than I’ve ever been treated, it was taking everything in me not to cry.

I cleared my throat to swallow the lump as I replied, “Thank you, Matt. I’d love to be your friend.” He flashed me his beautiful smile that shone even brighter than I’ve ever seen it so far.

“Well since we’re friends now, it’s only right that you make it up to me for running off twice in a row and hurting my feelings in the process.” He smirked, breaking the emotional and tense moment with his humor.

I let out a laugh, “Okay, you got me.  What are your terms, council?”

Matt’s eyebrow raised as he held his smirk, “Starting on lawyer jokes, huh? I can see I’m starting to rub off on you.”

Please don’t talk about rubbing anything off on me after we’ve just become friends. I’m testing myself enough as it is.

Matt continued, “How about you make it up to me by joining me for dinner tomorrow night?”

My heart stopped. I should’ve expected him to say that, but I didn’t.  The idea of a dinner alone with him made me thrilled, but also really nervous at the intimacy of it all.  But we’d just become friends, and I felt I could trust him.

“Um, sure! I’d love to.” That provoked another brilliant smile from him, causing me to smile along with him. “What did you have in mind?”

He shrugged, “Not sure yet. Let’s talk about it tomorrow, ok?  I might take you up on your suggestion and stop by the bakery.”

I smiled in relief as I replied, “Sounds good. I’m there from 8 till 4 tomorrow, so you can stop by anytime between that time.”

“Sounds great. I look forward to seeing you there.” My eyebrow raised at his funny choice of words. The man loved his blind jokes. He chuckled as he continued, “Well I’ve taken up enough of your time, and I have some work to do, so I’ll get out of your hair.”

I smiled as I walked him towards the still open door. “Okay, thanks again, Matt. It was really nice talking to you.”

Matt turned to face me as he smiled at me, “It was nice talking to you, Iris. Have a good night and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I giggled and replied, “I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t work too hard.”

Matt smirked as he made the short walk to his apartment, “I make no promises.”

I rolled my eyes in amusement, “Well then don’t hurt yourself from working too hard.”

He still held that sexy smirk as he replied, “I can’t make promises on that either.”

I laughed, not knowing how true that statement could be. “Goodnight, you workaholic!” I heard him say it back as I closed the door.

Before I went back to putting my groceries away, I decided to try out the stereo. I plugged it in and popped in David Bowie’s greatest hits. As I pressed play, my attention drew to the cupboard and I noticed that I had stacked the cans in perfect, pristine order, with the labels facing out in perfect unison.

Just the way he liked it.

I must’ve been so caught up in talking to Matt, that I stacked them on autopilot. Before I could lose myself in another painful memory, I faintly heard the familiar riffs of Modern Love. My favorite song.

He’s not here to take it away from you. He can’t punish you for listening to it. You’re free. You’re safe. Now turn up the volume and knock those fucking cans down!

Feeling more determined, I turned up the volume loud enough to fill the empty space, and proceeded to happily knock the pristine cans off alignment. My giggles grew louder and louder as I knocked each can into the cupboard until it was a wonderful, unorganized mess.

My heart felt light as a feather, I felt the sudden urge to dance. So I did.

I danced like I was Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club, I did clumsy cartwheels in my living room, I jumped up on the couch and danced on the cushions, and I sang loud and proud to the lyrics I haven’t heard in so long.

But I try I try Never going to fall for (Modern Love) Walks beside me (Modern Love) Walks on by (Modern Love) Gets me to the Church on Time (Church on Time) Terrifies me (Church on Time) Makes me party (Church on Time) Puts my trust in God and Man (God and Man) No confessions! (God and Man) No religion (God and Man) Don't believe In Modern Love

This was the first real fun I’d had in years, I sang and danced like no one was watching. I was too lost in the music that I didn’t notice the familiar dark figure standing on the rooftop across from my window watching over me with a smile on his face.

I woke up the next morning feeling more refreshed and relaxed than ever. I jumped out of bed and quickly got myself all pretty and ready for my first day at work.

I didn’t see Matt as I left the apartment, so I assumed he was at work already. I couldn’t wait to see him later today.

It seemed like time had gone by fast as Lucy was training me. We were having such a good time working together, I didn’t realize it was almost noon. And no sign of Matt yet.

I was wiping the counter, feeling anxious, when I heard the bell ring from the door opening.

“Hi, welcome to Sweet Heaven! How may I help you?” I greeted before I looked up and recognized the two familiar faces. One being the cool red shades and dazzling smile of Matt Murdock, the other being the blonde teddy bear known as Foggy Nelson. “Oh hey, guys!” I grinned.

“Hello, lovely Iris, and what a glorious Heaven it is!” Exclaimed Foggy with excitement.

I giggled in reply, “Well, just wait until you’ve had a bite. You’ll really be in Heaven then!” I turned towards Matt and smiled even brighter. “Hi, Matt.”

He smiled back, “Hi, Iris. How’s your first day going so far?”

“So far so good!” I replied. “We had a slight breakfast rush this morning, but it’s mellowed out for now. And you’ll be happy to know that I haven’t burned anything even once!” I finished, feeling very proud of myself.

Matt let out a laugh, “I’m very impressed, Ms. Rogers. I’m glad I don’t have to worry about filing a lawsuit for burnt pastries anytime soon.” He said with a sly smirk.

I rolled my eyes with a chuckle, “Don’t jinx me! The day is still young, Mr. Murdock.”

I heard the familiar steps of a stunning brunette amazon walking up behind me as she cut in, “What’s this I’m hearing about lawsuits, Iris?” Lucy asked as she stood next to me. “Don’t tell me I’m losing you already! I just trained you on how to preserve the bodies properly in the freezer. You can’t take that away from me!” She said, being so serious with her dramatics, I didn’t know if the guys understood she was joking.

I laughed as I played along, “Don’t worry, Lucy. The bodies will continue being looked after properly.” She sighed in relief. I heard Matt’s hypnotizing laugh as I gestured toward the two lawyers. “I’d like you to meet my friends Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson. They’re lawyers, so be careful what you say in front of them.” I said with my own amused smirk.

Lucy smiled at the gentlemen, and especially waves flirtatiously at a certain blushing blonde teddy bear.

“Guys,” I continued the introductions, “This beautiful woman is Lucy Addams, the owner of this literal piece of Heaven.”

Lucy stepped out from behind the counter to shake hands with the handsome men as I followed to join them.

“It’s very nice to meet you, gentlemen.” Lucy said as she held up her hand, Matt being the first to take it.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well, Ms. Addams.” He said with his charming smile. “I’ve heard your bakery is amazing, and I’m really looking forward to trying some of your desserts.”

Lucy smiled, “Why thank you, Mr. Murdock. I hope you enjoy it, especially the treats Iris has baked herself.” She gestured towards me.

“I’m sure I’ll love them.” He smirked in my general direction. “And please, like I’ve told Iris several times before, call me Matt. We don’t need to be so formal.”

We shared a laugh as Lucy replied, “As long as you call me Lucy.” She then turned towards Foggy, who I had just realized was completely silent ever since Lucy came out. “And you must be Foggy, isn’t that right, handsome?” She smiled flirtatiously at him.

Silence. Foggy stood silently in a daze, looking at Lucy with the closest thing to “heart eyes” I’ve ever seen. I failed to hold back my snort of amusement.

Matt “subtly” nudged Foggy back to earth, knocking him out of his daze.  

“Hi!” Foggy squeaked as he gently shook her hand, “I’m Foggy Addams- Nelson! Foggy Nelson. You’re so beautiful- I mean it’s beautiful to meet you!” He stammered, his face getting redder and redder.

I was snorting like a pig, I tried so hard not to laugh and embarrass the poor love struck man even further. Matt appeared to be struggling as well, his lips tightening, failing to keep a straight face in front of his friend.

Lucy just smiled, her cheeks reddening. “It’s beautiful to meet you, too, Foggy.” The blonde teddy bear let out a giggle, while he was still holding her hand. Lucy continued, “And as for the last name, let’s have some treats and get to know each other first.” She winked.

Foggy’s eyes widened as his hand went limp, finally letting go of her hand. Matt and I stood and witnessed Lucy leading Foggy by the hand towards the desserts while he kept his heart eyes on her and followed her lead like a lost puppy.

Foggy had it bad. I looked over at Matt, my heart racing as I stared at his contagious smile.

I’m right there with you, Foggy.

Thanks for reading! Don’t forget to reblog and leave some feedback!! *Kiss noise*

@jobean12-blog @cametobuyplums @tomhollandeu @emilymarie0422

[artsy-post]

BRO yall some real ****

Ok so have you ever heard of the term "Pater Familias". It roughly translates to Landowner or Head of the house. Now you may be wondering "Why is this important"? Well I'll tell you.

During the Victorian era and pretty much now the man was/is considered the head of the household and moral leader of his family. This rule was STRICTLY practiced in Britain and if the man was the head of the house, what was the woman's job?

To love, honour and obey her husband, as her marriage vows stated. This way of life was pushed onto girls of all backgrounds and even made its way to popular literature to enforce it. For example a popular poem written by Coventry Patmore in 1844 was widely read by women that helped enforce the role given to them.

As grass grows taller round a stone.

She loves with love that cannot tire;

Man must be pleased; but him to please

Is woman's pleasure; down the gulf

Of his condoled necessities

She casts her best, she flings herself ...

And when, ah woe, she loves alone,

Through passionate duty love springs higher,

Virginia Woolf another popular poet once wrote that an angel is "immensely sympathetic, immensely charming, utterly unselfish. She excelled in the difficult arts of family life. She sacrificed herself daily ... in short, she was so constituted that she never had a mind but preferred to sympathize always with the minds and wishes of others. Above all ... she was pure. Her purity was supposed to be her chief beauty"

Now your probably still wondering "What the hell this has to do with Kuroshitsuji" or "Oh God this is about Elizabeth" well then yea.

I know people will that lizzys being selfish by having emotions and behaving like a human being, and how she doesn't care about Ociel even though you just read a fan translation that even came with pictures but go off i guess

Anyhow. This childs whole life and I mean her WHOLE LIFE revolves around marriage and guess what ITS NOT A FUCKING CHOICE ITS JUST HOW IT IS IN THE 1800's. I mean its not like she could just get a divorce like seriously who wants to marry someone who gets a divorce at 14/15. They'd probably think shes infertile, a whore, etc...

Look I know yall are all pressed about the situation. I am to. They're doing my mass murderer of a boy dirty. But taking it out on Elizabeth, I mean damn I can understand of you dont like her but 9/10 you never liked her. It wasn't because of how she's acting rn yall just need an excuse which is not needed cuz you can like and dislike characters, just don't make up some bullshit to support your claims.

Yes I know the twins been through Hell. Ociel technology went through more and btw they didn't see their parents be murdered they came across the corpses and yes there is a difference. But this does not give them the right to use people such as Elizabeth for their personal gain.

We acknowledge the mentality ill, we help them, we DON'T praise or put pity on them for their wrong actions because thats NOT helping them.

Long story short their all kids. Their all suffering rn. You are not in the situation nor could you psychically be in it so no you can't get mad at people for having feelings. You can't say "Well I would have done this or wouldn't have did that" because you dont know and its not really your choice how you react to things. Take a Psychology class if you don't believe me.

Im Out.

[simkjrs]

msa ch5 asks (and others)

Anonymous said: AAA FROM 'MEET ME IN THE WOODS'- i know that lyrics!!!!! nice!!

*finger guns* nice!!

Anonymous said: -also thank you for existing you beautiful beautiful person! 😘

i think i might have accidentally deleted (or answered separately?) the first half of this ask but nonetheless thank you

Anonymous said: OK first thing: the chapter was awesome! amazing job! Second thing: the entire chapter was basically deku 'mildly' freaking out while being thoroughly pissed the entire time

it really and truly was. izuku as that one macro that’s like “this string is held up through pure stress alone” 

Anonymous said: mr compress weeb confirmed

look at his custom made villain costume and tell me he isnt that kind of guy

Anonymous said: god. Msa!izuku is /fifteen fucking years old/ and he has to deal with /so much shit/. Can someone just put him to bed and let him nap for a year, maybe

yes! maybe not a year though.

Anonymous said: God bless the new chapter gutted me and the flipped me inside out showing my true form, that of a big fan. Thank you for the blessing that is MSA

this is such a gruesomely funny image. thank you

Anonymous said: hey just read msa for the around the 9th time. you ar e so good at writing, the way you write character interaction is incredible. you should be proud. this is literally the best thing ive ever read.

THATS SO MANY TIMES, IM ASTONISHED YOURE NOT SICK OF IT YET!!! i hate staring at my writing too long it starts feeling all faded out and boring!! im really happy to hear you like it so much!

Anonymous said: As soon as Izu/ku woke up on the table I started screeching simk. Not okay!!!

haha im so sorry!!!! but overhaul literally wouldve experimented on ai/zawa and he DID experiment on eri this is completely in character of him

Anonymous said: Overhaul/Skin Beast: hi yeah can I get a fucking uuuuuhhhhhhhh experiments/faces? Izuku: Experiment machine 🅱roke *flies away with eri*

completely accurate summary of the chapter

Anonymous said: every day I long to become the amount of salty msa izuku is

valid but every day i long for msa izuku to receive the love and support that he needs

Anonymous said: sweetie noooooooo

i have no idea what part of the chapter this is referring to but first of all, big mood, and second of all, valid 

Anonymous said: hello you hurting because so am i!

i am hurting. while i was writing the chapter i kept looking at the screen like “i’m doing this? i’m really going to do this?” but overhaul is like that and i cant deny him the one salient characterization point he has

Anonymous said: UNICORN DAUGHTER HAS BEEN RESCUED THANK ITS GREAT

[my longest yeehaw ever]

Anonymous said: Since I might not get any sleep tonight because of flight plans and I might forget tomorrow and the next day, Happy thanksgiving! I'm thankful for your awesome stories~

Anonymous said: Happy Thanksgiving! I remembered!

happy thanksgiving!! im thankful that you enjoy my stories <3

Anonymous said: good job! i love it. and i’m crying. where did all this blood come from?

We Are All crying blood at this chapter

Anonymous said: Just read the new chapter and all I want to do is keysmash into your inbox. The chapter! Was so good! Izuku being sassy and angry and traumatized but still trying! And Eri! I'm so glad she's with Izuku now. Deku-niisan! I don't have words! And Rappa? Rappa! Also, that poem you linked is really neat. Grow up grow strong and focus your fury. Kind of feel like this is the theme for these two trauma children. Great work!

someone in the comments described izuku as “thoughtlessly kind” and i was VERY emotional over that because it’s such an excellent descriptor of the kind of person izuku is... he’s still trying, because that’s just who he is 

deku-niisan to the rescue :^) 

i’m really glad you enjoyed the chapter! thank you!

@zintiay submitted: Normally I get really annoyed when a character refuses to use an ability that would let them fairly easily deal with those around them. In this case though, you have done a really good job displaying why he doesn’t want to use this option, as well as what it takes for him to be willing to use it, that I mostly feel sad for deku that he was forced to let Eri’s spirit possess him, instead of getting caught up in the hype of an awesome moment

Honestly though, that’s also my reaction to the chapter as a whole. It was full of interesting world building and was generally an awesome chapter, but it was also well written enough that I also feel Izuku’s emotions and mostly just feel melancholy now.(Seriously, when I look back on it, “I invite you in” opened the gateway to an awesome and well deserved ass kicking, but it’s mostly just heart breaking. Why can’t I just enjoy Izuku kicking ass? Why?)

ahaha yeah, i try to have good reasons for why characters do or don’t take certain actions, and this whole fusion thing is something he keeps REALLY close to his chest... i’m glad that carried across well! it is very sad though that he feels cornered into using this ability. 

thanks for reading!

Anonymous said: Just wanted to say thank you. I think this sounds weird, but you finishing up chapter 5 of msa actually helped motivate me and I managed to finish my essay for a class.

OH? i’m glad to hear that! congrats on finishing the essay!

Anonymous said: This chapter was so fucking perfect I'm crying diamonds. What in all heavens and hells are you, you godly creature? I am so bloody happy you exist in this world. In this time line. I love your stories so damn much!

thank you so much!! i’m really happy to hear this <3 

Anonymous said: I love how just Done with everything msa Izu/ku is with everything. The fact that the only person he treats like a Person and not another threat to his Cryptid Status is Er/i and he just brings her home. I just. I LOV UR WRITING OK

it’s because eri pings None of his danger senses and All of his “i have to do something about this” senses. izuku is constitutionally incapable of helping someone in need. 

and thank you!! i’m glad you like it!

Anonymous said: I hope you know that i was able to read about half a page before i fucking died laughing i lov msa de/ku so much

i try to serve my darkfic with a large side of comedy

Anonymous said: I have the vivid image of msa Deku running into Aizawa by accident and just slowly walking backwards before turning to the sky and yelling "I HAVE DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY! I! DO NOT! HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT AS WELL!!!" while Aizawa slowly comes to the conclusion that he must adopt and save this troubled child.

this is hilariously close to some future scenarios i have in mind

Anonymous said: seeing a new chapter of msa honestly made my heart skip a beat in excitement. i have SO MANY questions and thoughts about this universe, i think i could ask you questions for hours, it sparks my imagination and curiosity in the best way. but for now, i just wanted to sincerely thank you for choosing to share your story and thoughts and ideas with all of us! it's always a delight, and i don't take it for granted at all. thank you, and i'm wishing you all the best always!!

thank you so much for this message!! it always makes me happy to know that others are enjoying this story as much as i am <3 i hope the best for you as well!

Anonymous said: What I expected in MSA ch.5: PAINPAINPAINPAINPAIN What I got: PAINPAINPAIN also Izuku adopts Eri, and Rappa for some reason (or did he adopt them!?!? DUNDUNDUN)

i cant publish a chapter without doing something a little fun, right? 

also im laughing at the idea of izuku adopting rappa, a fully grown man, as opposed to the other way around. izuku would hate this concept if anyone ever said it to him.

Anonymous said: so is msa iz/uku's tragic backstory basically being a walking disaster for all of his life until the point where he would have, in canon, met all might, and the msa version of the all might/one for all is the Temple and the subsequent ShitStorm™?

nope! the temple is something else 

Anonymous said: 💖💖💖💖💖💓💖💓💓💕💕💓💕💕💕💝💝💞💝💟💟💟💟💟💟💞💝💝💝💝💝💟💟💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘❤❤❤❤💙💚💚💚💛💙💚💜💚💛💚💜💙💜💚💟💞💗💞💟💟💜💚💛💚💘❤💘❤❤❤💞💟💝❤

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Anonymous said: i was stuck in a car for 3+ hours tonight but when i saw msa ch5 was up i was so excited, i spent the whole ride reading and re-reading it, it’s fantastic and you are too! <3

wow thats some dedication!! i hate reading in the car. thank you and im glad you liked it!!

Anonymous said: simk pls tell me we get roommate shananigans it would make my entire life. just a tired teen, a middle age man literally off the street, and their prepubescent daughter/little sister/niece/etc.

oh yes absolutely. this is a vital part of the au. don’t forget the cat

Anonymous said: hi hello i just want to say that your writing is amazing and gives me life and i get really really really excited every time you update. thanks for blessing us with such good fic <3

thank you so much!! i’m super glad to hear <3

Anonymous said: so izuku not only has eri but also the guy most likely to have been in kumite from bloodsport at his place. great job kiddo. (i mean that both genuinely and sarcastically)

izuku’s existence just naturally warps the reality he lives in into a circus show

Anonymous said: thanks to that one ask i can't stop laughing at the scenario of msa izu trying to get groceries and is seen by kiri / aizawa / tbh any hero. rappa and eri is with him and izu just stares at the heroes dead in the eye and leaves the place. he swears to never return there ever again

also hilariously close to some scenarios im contemplating

Anonymous said: DID MSA!DEKU EVER CATCH A BREAK ONCE IN HIS LIFE??? DID THAT EVER HAPPEN, SIMK. OVERHAUL IS UP THERE W ENDEAVOR I CANT BELIEVE U MANAGED TO MAKE ME HATE HIM THIS MUCH SNAKDNANFKW (btw? how much of a fucking RIOT would it be if the heroes did the exact same thing in canon, and when it came to the actual retrieving eri part theyd just find someone waving frantically "SHES ALREADY GONE, YOU IMBECILES. YOU FOOLS"

overhaul is easily hatable if you just extrapolate from his canon actions. cant wait for him to get fucking clowned

i think it would be really funny but kind of depressing if the heroes did that. izuku please help them

Anonymous said: u really dont fuck around, do u, simk?? this is really a chapter that i just read i really saw him getting experimented on by overhaul for real??? I REALLY SAW HIM DISMISS IT AS IF IT WAS ANY OTHER DENIAL WEDNESDAY???? DID THAT BOY EVER CATCH ONE (1) BREAK IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE?? also DAMN! HE Really Fucking Did That HUH HE BUSTED HER OUT OMG.. CANT WAIT FOR THE SIBLING RELATIONSHIP FEELINGS THING :') (also how much of a fucking RIOT wld it be if the heroes busted eri out but (1/2)

but when they ARE actually at the 8ps hq they just?? dont find her??????and everyone there is like "SHES ALREADY GONE YOU IMBECILES. YOU FOOLS." (2/2)

i really dont fuck around!! i hope!! i decide on a track and i stick to it!! as soon as i finished the first scene i knew that overhaul was going to Do That and i spent a few days agonizing over it and asking myself if i was really ready to go all the way with this. if i was really going to write it! i did write it. i am still occasionally in disbelief. 

yes. sibling relationship all the fuckin way 

Anonymous said: Is what happened at the temple the thing that made MSA Izuku give up on being a hero?

nah izuku giving up on being a hero is more just pessimism, cynicism, and paranoia trained into him by years and years of dealing with spirits and believing that he shouldn’t exist 

Anonymous said: this is all really silly but uhh,,, isn't izuku loosing credits? has his mother been informed of his absences? does he have anyone who can help him catch up with the missed material? is our boy going to graduate?

i dont really know how credits work in japanese schools, or how the absences thing works... he’ll be fine though, pinky promise

Anonymous said: Eri pulls back and looks up at them curiously. “Deku?” They peer down at her. She’s so small! She’s so near! “You look different. You…” She reaches up, and they bend down obligingly. Her hand touches something attached to the skull above the eyes -- my horn, the kirin whispers. “You have a horn like me,” she says, full of wonder, and touches it again. THIS ENTIRE FUCKING PART GOT MY HEART BEATING SO FAST. I LOVE THEM!!!! ILOVE HOW ERIS SPIRIT IS NOT A TOTAL ASSHOLE TOO!!!

trauma kid solidarity!!!! i am so excited for these two you have no idea

i, too, love it when a spirit shows a basic modicum of decency and is NOT Like That to izuku 

Anonymous said: "neptune" by sleeping at last gives me very kiri/msa!deku vibes

cool, i’ll check it out!

Anonymous said: Angry msa!izu/ku: acts like an alley cat, threatens to break a villain's dishes, talks a lot of bullshit, also kind of sad and depressed. Angry™ msa!izu/ku: frightens the hell out of everyone just by looking at them, makes everyone question their life choices, makes them feel small and insignificant and makes fun of said life choices, not exactly human.

yeah. i love msa izuku and  his anger is Valid 

Anonymous said: This chapter: Rappa: fight me MsaIzuku: no Rappa: fight me pls MsaIzuku: no Rappa: let me fight the people around you? MsaIzuku:....... Fine

this is a really great summary of that conversation

Anonymous said: Izuku's threat to throw all of M. Compress' dishes on the floor like that is the Worst thing you can do to someone made my entire day thank you

i’m really glad because this was the funniest threat i could think of besides “i’m going to break into your home and piss on your bed” 

Anonymous said: HE'S JUST A KID SIM

you know i had to do it to ‘em picture 

Anonymous said: Msa is just so so amazing!?!? I honestly love it so much. The way you write is so wonderful and it's practically doubled by the fact that the entire idea for the au is also wonderful. Izu is amazing and I love him. Thank you thank you thank you :')

aahhh im really happy you like it!! thank you for reading & supporting!!

Anonymous said: Rappa: "let me join you" ; msa!Izuku: "absolutely fucking not" ; Rappa: "I can be ur meat shield" ; msa!Izuku: *clenching and unclenching his fist, glaring up at the god he does not believe in as he leads Rappa and Eri to his home* "I fucking hate you"

izuku’s one weakness... trying to help others

Anonymous said: iirc, guardian spirits are bound to their respective charges by proximity but can still move around, but do they have to be close by when the quirk is used? Or will the quirk not be as effective?

nah, they don’t need to be nearby, one cool effect of being bound to a human is that the human has a store of the guardian spirit’s energy 

Anonymous said: Thoughts on the game OFF? Played it recently and it gave me Msa!spirit world vibes. The use of man made substances making up the natural world (e.g drinking plastic not water) just really stuck with me as something bizarre and very second intonation like. Although if you do explore the spirit world I guess you might have something maybe more mythological in mind? (Also the soundtrack is stunningly eerie).

never played OFF but i love its aesthetic so much 

Anonymous said: I'm gonna print msa out and it eat it. gochisousama

pfft itadakimasu 

Anonymous said: Hahahah holy shit that new chapter dialed things up to, like, 22 instead of 11 holy shit izuku oh no. (“Achievement Unlocked: 5+ Levels Of Trauma Added At Once!” msa!izuku: can I get a, uuuuhhhhhhh, refund?) skin creature is super creepy and perfect fit. Btw, side thought - however the heroes find out abt this whole mess, I bet they feel really guilty (shit, izuku puts foot in mouth and accidentally says smth. Kiri: horrified izuku: makes it worse by trying to leave topic) thx I Love it. V good!

once i committed i had to go all the way...

the ensuing conversations between izuku and the heroes are probably going to be kind of funny, and also a little sad. im looking forward to it. thank you for reading!

Anonymous said: Okay, I'm just catching up on the recent chapters of msa and this is what I've been getting so far Everyone: you have to understand- Msa izuku, restrained: no

correct. msa izuku refuses to accept your terms 

Anonymous said: Ahaha, geez, MSA chapter 5 was A M A Z I N G. Poor Izuku. Geez, the scene where he's tossed into his cell and just spends fifteen minutes crying and freaking out hurt so bad. And he remembered to (try and) call for help!!! Hopefully he tries again in the future, when it'll work (hopefully). I also got very excited by the Kirin!!! Like, holy smokes!!! Someone who actually doesn't want Izuku to suffer, and is willing to take steps to make that happen!! Yes good!! Plz timewalker protect this child

thanks carwash for being like the only friend izuku has

the relationship between izuku and the different spirits hanging around his house is probably going to be pretty fun. i know i’ve pulled a lot of bullshit in the past two chapters but i still have some new fuckery to introduce. i hope you are all excited for this

Anonymous said: would any other human be able to learn to speak in the second intonation in the msa au? Did msa deku learn the second intonation from someone, or is it just something he's always known?

1) good question! i haven’t decided yet. 2) he learned from someone else! who you will find out soon

Anonymous said: me: nobody has to get owned today. please, please put down the markers and step back msa izuku: Fuck oyu.

i totlaly forgot this was a thing but you know what? yeah. im laughing this is such a fitting quote

Anonymous said: you know by far one of the best aspects of msa izuku is just. He is a constant Power Move. and yet he would probs hate that. like this boy wants to be left alone and get some fuckin peace but in all his interactions whether he intends to or not he just fuckin busts a fuckin Move and its like holy shit holy fucking shit he did that.he did That. He doesnt want to do That he doesnt even realize its happening and thats why its a fuckin Power Move. Love this au i LOVE ur work and love ur storytelling

reminds me of @salvainterra‘s description of izuku: “izuku is both an unstoppable force and an immovable object and its through this paradoxical existence that hes reached the ultimate tier of not giving a fuck. good on him”

thats the secret behind it all!

Anonymous said: I love msa chapter five but I'm so worried about Izuku. He's a single teen parent of two now and he keeps missing school, how will he graduate and get in a position to follow his dreams of being alone and doing calligraphy if he misses so much of school that he doesn't get a diploma???

he will be ok! 

hey im really laughing at this because youre really including rappa as one of the people izuku adopted?? is this a thing now?? 

Anonymous said: (in msa) I am so glad you had Izuku save Eri omg. that poor child has been through enough (but also, omg the suffering you're putting Izuku through (it's great, keep going)). I'm super keen to see where you take this!!

i know im really putting izuku through the paces. while i was writing the first half of ch5 i kept telling myself that this was all for eri’s sake but MAN that was dark

thank you! im excited to pull some more bullshit. im glad you’ve been enjoying the story so far!

Anonymous said: Me reading the new msa chapter: ‘a family can be a Kirin, a girl who can disintegrate people, a supernatural teenager, a street brawler and perpetual sadness’ seriously tho it was really great and I loved it!!!

MFLNDLFKSDJF AND PERPETUAL SADNESS IM LOSING IT!!!

don’t forget the mysterious shadow spirit who may or may not be a cat 

i’m really glad you liked the chapter!!

Anonymous said: bc of allmights style i think of one for all's spirit just being a fucking american on the fourth of july with american flags everywhere and waving a minature flag threateningly and i cant stop thinking about it....

fortunately for us, that is incorrect 

Anonymous said: "Okay I've finally caught up on the backlog of work I've got, let's check in on my favourite blog and writer SIMKJRS and see what they're up to recently." *sees that you updated like a week ago* aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

jflskdfj glad you’re excited for this!! i know i only update like once in a blue moon, 

Anonymous said: hey i just want to say that i love everything about msa; the writing, the story, the imagery, ALL OF IT thank you for making such a wonderful gift!

thank you!! im grateful for your support <3

[to-worship-hera]

Hera, please help

i love you too :) what's awhhh? it's okay :) [name] is worth it i mean, i liked talking to you too ooooof :( i don't want you to be jealous i did have a moment of like i guess that doesn't help with the jealousy at all hm

okay i figured up my follow up question so we talked like 1:3 or 1:4 ratio of work:[me] except with a term maybe then it becomes like 5:6 or whatever, a bit less than half so like ~6 hours over 3 days, or ~4 hours over 5 days with routine 1 term = 10*18 = 180 = uhh i guess 1 game? but if not during a term then like.... it's like 5 hours a week = 36 weeks or basically a year to make 1 game given that we don't have terms like last term unless we pull some shenanigans

(1) are you ok with rate of like 1 game a year (2) do you want us to find a term in the next ~3 years ah like when i'm in [country] like you would not go to [country] that makes sense protect lungs <3 (y) i forgots yeah but i forgots

ah so then it is like COMPLETELY up to you like no [me] to distract you at all not even to cook for her or help her with math so if you come out with nothing, that will be COMPLETELY your own fault and i will have so much relief that i don't suck for you :P jk mmkay

are you sure you can pull off 1:3 or 1:4 on the weekends when working like what would stop you from playing games with me allllllll weekend your own self control?

??? but if i work 10 hours a day that's like 1 prepare/commute + 10 work + .5 commute back + .5 sitting around + .5 getting ready for bed + 9 sleep (honestly i wish for 10.5 lol) so 2.5 hours assuming i eat everyyy meal at work i mean like let's say a [you] spends 2 hours with [me] a day but no meals would that be enough where on the weekends you'd work for 5 hours? :O what is "not enjoyable 2 hours with [me]" :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O is this enjoyable is like when do you not have my full attention? huh i would consider that Not Spending Time Together at all hmmm interesting

this is interesting because like as per the schedule 1 prepare/commute + 10 work + .5 commute back + .5 sitting around + .5 getting ready for bed + 9 sleep (btw thanks for letting me rest my very sore throat) ^ 2.5 is very short like if i shower that day it becomes 1.75 if i call my parents that day it becomes 1 if i decide to write for like 3 hours like i sometimes do then there goes the whole time + maybe some sleep from the next day i guess i have 2.5 hours and i decide whether to spend it on you or like LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE IN MY LIFE :O :O :O :O

omg i hope i like my traps :( it would really suck to have 2.5 hours of non-trap time if i hate my traps ? ???? what is this, Lazy Person Thinking? hm is right i can't really help my commute my love we will live HERE obviously ok i want divorce you can work at [company] i can say "my ex husband works at [company]" "that's why he's my ex husband" "[company] sucks" people will be like "good job getting out of that relationship!" "[company] sucks" hahaha </3

cool you'll have no commute i'll work wherever will take me :( so unemployable omg if i play with cats then like there are 2 hours if i play with cats every day, then 2 hours and only if i play with cats Very Efficiently RUN CATS RUN

trap :( school is better i guess i mean it makes us ravenous for air but like at least i can keep typing at 5am haha wow i will never be able to have a side project again

work by definition cannot be a side project SIDE ...fuck [company 2] you saw it coming ......... undertale style ellipses ....................... have you seen this it's cute PAPYRUSUSSSUSUUS so cute

okay i will work i guess and let you sleep good night my love :) that's all :) i guess like with an emoji you can't tell which smileys are sad (sad) :) (sad sad) :)

just like the world closing in on us between exceeding expectations + spending time with each other + having freedom to do things + travel + idk it's just like wow this is the Last Term Ever where i get to do things i like for more than amortized 4 hours a day i should start using it better :) (sad) :) why are you sorry

you know what i am SO GLAD ABOUT thanks to the money thing earlier i haven't hung out with anyone i'm like really REALLY glad i do not hang out with people because that time really does feel wasted after idk praise :) you're great

but :O this is the Last Term Ever where i get to do things i like for more than amortized 4 hours a day ? what you mumbled yeah i heard "rethink drafts?" what draft picks :O like the things i'm writing? like don't go into a trap? DIE POOR get a good trap? that's kind of the trap's choice not mine traps are traps are traps my love

i am really sad like [name 2] and [name] and [name 3] and they all seem like they genuinely like the topic they do like i'm sure they have various frustrations with their actual job but they have like a TOPIC to work on that they are passionate about [topic] [topic 2] [topic 3]

i've never loved anything that much but you like to enjoy something beyond the tumblr rush you know like a class is basically [number] weeks tumblr rush + [number 2] weeks finishing the term lol like i like: coding but only non-scalable frontend soc animated films but only cute ones intl security as a way to think about the larger world greek gods writing but only low stakes teaching but only sections basically just that yeah uhm civ? cats? uhm like all these things a solid bunch but none consistently even celebrities, not that consistent it's like i have a top limit on how much i can love a thing that is not a person who can have dreams and expectations :O how do i pick a trap WHAT that's like on my other list of things i hate :)

hate ml math probability research physics lecturing big groups betraying my kind spanish philosophy group projects

that reminds me at some point i would like to ask [name 4] like "what is consensus decision making again?" like how does it work do people just talk until they convince everyone to be a consensus do you vote i feel like during our project i learned like what was NOT consensus decision making or like how easy it is to pretend you have consensus decision making by simply not making any decisions how does it work??? pls advise (that's what i would tell him) he would probably appreciate right? would he be like :O you learned nothing or :D you are still thinking about these experiences that's good

damn life was easier when i used to think that if i got tired of Everything In The World i could come back and be a [job] now i'm like hmm without that as an option i'm lost {waves arms} (sad) :) you should go to sleep my love

? [me] is luckiest girl

good night love you? writing but only low stakes ???????? that's high stakes low stakes is like

here is a poem about how sad i am i am sad heh

if i were a cat i would be a sad cat meow meow heh

i basically like making you laugh :) ty "low quality hanging out" mmkay i love you yeah hahah but is bright get a scarf and your covers

[sincerely-insanely-me-blog]

Sincerely Three x Reader who writes them poetry/their reaction

((This is more centered around one particular time that you write them a specific poem btw. Not as headcanon-y))

Connor

Poetry being exchanged between you and Connor would be a common occurrence

You’d be the only person he’d share it with. Ever.

But this time you were nervous to share this particular poem with him

You knew you loved Connor and you didn’t know how else to express it except through poetry

You glared at the poem for like thirty minutes

You were terrified to read it to Connor

Lots of pacing

You looked at the page for a solid thirty minutes before stomping over to the Murphy’s house knowing that no one was home except for Connor

You marched right and up to Connor’s room where he’d be laying on his bed

Probably reading like Catcher in the Rye or something bc he’s deep

“Y/n? What’s going on? Are you okay?” Very concerned lil babe

“IWROTEYOUAPOEMANDIWANTYOUTOHEARITBUTIMTOOSCAREDANDIDONTKNOWWHATTODOAN-”

He’s immediately up out of bed, holding you against his chest like he always does when you get a little bit flustered

“ Woah woah hey, I’m not gunna be an asshole and push you to read it, but I would love to hear it”

Well now you have to read it

Damn his support

You look down at the page and then at him and he’s giving you that sweet and supportive smile he always gives you

The one where his mouth is closed but his cheeks look really adorable

You know the one

You start reading it and you’re so concentrated on the page that you don’t see the tears well up in Connor’s eyes and his face turning beet red

You love him? YOU love HIM? 

You must be lying. He’s him and you’re you. 

He’s a fuck up and you’re standing there spilling out these beautiful words about how you fell in love with him the first time you saw him smile

And he’s sitting there, about to cry and maybe pass out?

The person he loves, loves him back

You finish and you look up at him like ?????

He. Is. Speechless

“Are you fucking serious?”

You almost cried right there on the spot

“I’m just….gunna go…”

He’s never got up so quickly in his life to stop you from leaving

“Y/N wAIT NO HOLD ON….fuck” sweet lil boy doesn’t know how to handle this iTS NEVER HAPPENED

He’d start pacing and you’d, again, just ?????

“You actually love me back?”

“GOD yes if course i do, connor! i just wrote you a whole poem ab-wait….love you bAck?”

He’d go and dig through his bedside drawer and grab his notebook and he’d open up to a page

“i was gunna read mine to you tomorrow”

Poetry is how you guys tell each other the big stuff and it’s artsy and beautiful

Evan

Before you met Evan, you’d like to write your poetry about people you saw when you were out and about and nature and all that beautiful stuff

When you did meet Evan, your subject matter changed 

You’d find yourself writing sonnets about your guy’s walk in the park or the time he smiled at you from across home room

When you and evan started dating however

You started writing about his lips, or the way his nose crinkles when he laughs

Evan would be having a particularly bad day and you’d notice right away

More quiet than usual

More hunched over than usual 

You’d be sitting at the dining room table with him doing homework and he wouldn’t have said a word for the last ten minutes

“You doin okay, Ev?”

“huh? o-oh i’m yeah i’m uh fine yeah i’m great!”

Poor Boy

Couldn’t lie to save his life

You’d put your hand on top of his and you could see his breathing increase

“You can talk to me, babe”

He would be so red and panicky 

“it’s just not-uhm it’s just n-not a good day i guess”

You’d look down at your bag, not sure if you were ready to share your poetry with him yet

Then you heard his uneven breath and you’d immediately grabbed your journal

“Can i read you something, Evan?”

“What? o-oh uhm yeah, of course y/n”

You’d decide to read him the poem you wrote the day he asked you to be his S.O

You’d hold his hand while you read it

He liked to hold your hand when he wasn’t feeling great

He likes feeling that you’re there

sweet bb :’)

Anyhow

Evan would squeeze your hand as you got to the part where you beautifully described the way he looked at you when he asked you

He’d be doing the crinkle nose smile 100% and that little chuckle he does

Once you’d finish he would kiss your hand a bUNCH

He loves doing that

“You’re really special to me, Evan. I just wanted you to know that, okay?”

He. would. be. beaming 

“I d-don’t know what i’d do without y-you, y/n”

PLOT TWIST

He grabs your face and he kisses you

And he kisses! you! good!

Then he’d do the cute thing where he rests his forehead on yours and his eyes would still be closed

He does this mostly every time after you kiss bc he just needs to take in the fact that you’re real

You’d read him your poetry from then on

He would ask most of the time bc it soothes him a lot

Heidi would sometimes catch you reading to him with his head in your lap and she would be so thankful that her little boy has you :’)

Jared

Jared would not know at all that you write poetry

You didn’t know if Jared even liked poetry

Let alone if he even read that much

He would find your journal poking out of your backpack at lunch and being the little knob that he is, He’d be too curious not to look

Zoe would see him grabbing it and she’d call him out

“What are you doing with y/n’s poetry book?”

“Poetry?” He’d be so confused? 

You write poetry? Why didn’t you tell him?

“Yeah? they write poetry like all the time Jared…”

He would be a little upset that you didn’t tell him

He’d put your journal in your backpack before you came back and he’d drop it until later

You’d go to his house after school as per usual 

Doing homework on his bed while he pretended to do homework and played Clash of Clans or something

Yes he still plays that

“Hey y/n…?”

He’d be abnormally timid

He’d be afraid that you’d yell at him for snooping

You’d look up at him with your sweet adorable smile he loves so much

“How come you didn’t tell me that you write poetry?”

You’d be taken back. How’d he find out?

“Wha-How did you fi-”

“Your journal was poking out of your backpack at school and i thought it was like your science journal or something so i picked it up and Zoe told me it was your poetry journal….I WASN’T SNOOPING I SWEAR TO GOD”

“God damn zoe and her big mouth”

“She said that you’re pretty good too…how come you didn’t tell me?”

He’d have the sad puppy dog eyes 

You’d look at your hands and start playing with them to avoid his eyes 

He’d grab your hands 

“You can trust me with anything, y/n. Don’t you know that?”

“I know that, Jared. I do. I just thought, i don’t know…that you’d think my poetry was stupid or lame…”

He would feel his heart bREak

“You’d really believe that i would think that about anything you do? God yn i love you for christ’s sake!!”

You’d grab his chubby wonderful cheeks

“You’re right. You’re absolutely right. i love you so much and i’m so sorry, babe….do you uh, want me to read you one?”

“Only if you want to” 

He’d be a little sassy with you bc he’d still be a little upset

You’d read him the one you wrote about your guy’s first time

It was your absolute favorite

It wasn’t explicit, it was just really pretty

Homeboy would be fighting the blush that was starting to take over his entire fuckin body bc like

He remembered every part of that night 

but hearing it through your interpretation brought it all back in a different way

You’d set your book down and before you could say anything he’d be oN YOU

Kissing you all over your face and down your neck and stuff

In between kisses he would be like

You *kiss* are *kiss* so *kiss* fucking *kiss* amazing *kiss*

Lets just say he’d give you something else to write about

[debussyanddarcy]

AU Prompt: "You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friend's place and I should call the cops but my cat likes you so????" unrequited plisetsuki please : D ?

to preface this: this probably is not what you wanted when you asked for this, but, uh, this is what happened?

ANYWAY I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TODAY

Somebodyis in the apartment.

Yuriis a light sleeper by nature, so the quiet pitter-patter of feet across hiswooden apartment floors jolts him out of sleep quickly. What the ever-loving fuck,really, it’s not even like there’s anything valuable in his apartment. Yuri’s abroke college student; the most valuable thing in his possession is his damn MacBook.

(Viktor’shalf of the apartment is a different story.)

Still,it’s not like he’s going to sit around and let this asshole raid his fridge, orworse, steal his phone, so he grabs a baseball bat from his closet andcreeps out of his room, eyes narrowed, jaw clenched. Yuri is—okay, a little smallfor his age, but Viktor had once told him that his tiny body contained the rageof a dozen Russian pro-wrestlers. Yuri thinks it’s the nicest thing Viktor’sever said to him.

Yuripeers into the expanse of the apartment and finds a single, flickering light inthe kitchen. He stealthily tiptoes across the floor, baseball bat clutchedtightly in his fists, to find that, what the hell, this bastard is actuallyfucking raiding his fridge.

“That’smy pirozhki, asshat!” he snarls, ready to swing his bat when theintruder turns around.

Shit, Yuri thinks. It’s BeautifulInternational Student Yuuri Katsuki.

Whichis stupid, because Yuri himself is an international student, and he isgoddamned beautiful, okay, but Yuuri Katsuki’s beauty is legendary,well-known even to the undergraduates. He’s a doctoral student in the biochemistrydepartment, and can often be seen slogging through the quad in a faded graytracksuit, hair unkempt, glasses slipping down his nose, leaving broken heartsand forlorn sighs with every step he takes.

Butright now, Beautiful International Student Yuuri Katsuki is crouched in frontof his refrigerator, biting into Yuri’s painstakingly baked pirozhki, faceflushed, eyes suspiciously red.

 “Whatthe fuck,” Yuri says intelligently. “Are you—are you crying?”

 “N—no,”Yuuri hiccups. “Why would I—why would I—” He bursts into tears.

Yuri—doesnot panic. He just—well, bounces around on his feet a little, flailing. Thebaseball bat slips from his grasp and rolls noisily along the floor. “Forgetit!” he yelps. “You can eat all the pirozhki you want! Here! Heat it up! Whyare you eating it cold?”

Hegrabs the plate from Yuuri’s hands and sticks it in the microwave. He shoveshis hands in his pockets just to give them something to do. Behind him, Yuuriis still sniffling quietly. The sound makes his stomach clench uncomfortably,and he casts around for something to say.

“Whatthe hell’s the matter with you?” he asks gruffly, eyes still fixed on themicrowave timer.

Yuurisighs. “Think I’m drunk,” he informs him, voice wavering.

Ofcourse Beautiful International Student Yuuri Katsuki would be a Sad Drunk, Yurithinks. “Do you barge into strangers’ apartments whenever you are intoxicated,”he deadpans. 

“No.”Yuuri frowns, going cross-eyed. It’s not adorable at all, which is why Yuristealthily slips his phone out of his pocket and snaps a picture. “Was lookingfor—Phichit?”

“He’stwo doors down,” Yuri tells him, unamused.

Yuuri’slower lip actually trembles. The sight of it makes Yuri feel things,which is utterly unacceptable. So he does the logical thing, which is to takethe plate of pirozhki out of the microwave and shove one into Yuuri’s mouth.

Yuuribites, chews, and swallows. His eyes light up. “Oishi!” he proclaims,and teeters off into unintelligible Japanese. Yuri tries, and fails not topreen. He put that look of ecstasy on Beautiful International StudentYuuri Katsuki’s face.

Hejoins Yuuri on the floor, drawing his knees up to his chest. Sasha comespattering in, fluffy tail high in the air. He clambers into Yuri’s lap, andYuri scratches him behind the ears, watching Yuuri devour his plate ofpirozhki.

 “So,”Yuri begins. “Why are you drunk?” 

Yuuriopens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again. “There is not enough alcohol in meto tell you that story,” he says gravely.

Yuriscoffs as he gracefully gets to his feet, Sasha tucked securely in his arms. “Well,you broke into the right apartment.”

 *

  Inthe end, it comes to down to Viktor fucking Nikiforov.

Ofcourse it does.

Threeshots of vodka in (taken from Viktor’s most expensive bottle, Yuri thinks with relish) andYuuri has taken off his hoodie, his shirt, and one sock. Yuri tries not to lethimself get distracted by the lines of Yuuri’s chest and abs, but he’s onlyhuman.

“Ijust,” Yuuri says, hiccupping. “I love him so much?”

Yuritwitches.

“Heis so beautiful?” Yuuri is saying, and Yuri clutches Sasha closer to his chest.“And he is so brilliant. He is. He is. Beautifully brilliant. Brilliantlybeautiful. And today, I. I just wanted to wish him luck at his conference. He’sgoing to Munich, you know,” he adds in an undertone, and Yuri rolls his eyes.“But he. He didn’t even know who I was.” Yuuri’s eyes grow very, very wide.“We’ve been in the same department for two years. We’ve been to the samemixers. We’ve been to some of the same conferences, even, I.” Yuuri hangs hishead. “I thought he at least knew my name.”

“Viktoris an asshole,” Yuri says, “who has his head stuck so far up his own ass thathe can see out of his mouth. 

Yuuriblinks at him.

“Weall notice you, dumbass,” Yuri says, refusing to make eye contact. Sashamewls, stretching out on his lap. “You don’t need his—his approval, orwhatever, to feel like you’re worth something.”

Silence.

Andthen: the sniffles.

“Ohmy god,” Yuri hisses. “Are you actually crying again.”

“You’reso nice,” Yuuri wails, and Sasha, the traitor, leaps off Yuri’s lap tobutt his head against Yuuri’s knee.

Yuriscowls and reaches for the bottle of vodka.

It’sempty.

Fuck my life, he thinksfeelingly.

  *

 Viktorwakes up bleary-eyed to a text from Yuri on his phone.

Thereis a picture: it’s fuzzy, and lit very poorly, but Viktor can tell that it’shis room. His bed, to be precise, and the outline of a distinctly male figurelying on his rumpled sheets. 

Followedby a video: “I think Viktor is the best.” The sound is grainy, and the personspeaking trails off so that Viktor has to strain to hear. But his eyes arelovely and his lashes are long and dark, the curve of his nose delicate in thedim lighting. “His research on male-pattern baldness is unparalleled and also Ithink he has a great ass.”

Apause as the angle of the camera changes, and Viktor is greeted with Yuri’sunimpressed face. “If you—” Yuri pauses, stumbling a little. “If you make himcry ever again, I will evisc—evisce—rip your intestines out and feed them toSasha and then I will dance over your corpse while waving your decapitatedhead on a stick in front of your weeping mother.” 

Hehiccups and falls over, snoring.

Oh,Yura, Viktor thinks fondly. Always so passionate about life.

 YOU: who is that lovely boysleeping in my bed?

YURA:fuckoff

YOU:you arequite overprotective

YURA:if youdon’t know him already you don’t deserve to know him asshole

YURA: btw your vodka’s all gone

YURA: fucker

 Viktorsets his phone on the bedside table thoughtfully. This clearly requires furtherinvestigation.

 *

  Viktorofficially meets Beautiful International Student Yuuri Katsuki two days later.

Itis terrible for everyone (read: Yuri Plisetsky) involved.

 *

 Atthe end of every winter semester, the Comparative Literature Departmentpublishes a collection of short essays, stories, and poems created lovingly by theirsleep-deprived and caffeine-addicted students. The pieces vary in nature, andare hand-selected by a committee of professors before making it into the finalcopy.

ProfessorBaranovskaya, widely known for her no-nonsense, scathing critiques, who putsthe fear of God in the already dying souls of every university student thatwinds up in her classes, vouches for one particular piece with quiet authority.

Itmakes the first page.

 you, who enchantswithout knowing

to be the tear thatgraces your cheek

to be the drop of vodkathat slides down your throat

 I rest my head on yourknee

and sigh

  (Y.P.)

 *

 Viktortakes a screenshot and pins it to their shared fridge with a bright bluemagnet. MY YUROCHKA IS GROWING UP!!!! he annotates with a pink marker.

Yurifills all his shampoo and conditioner bottles with bright orange hair dye.  

[warwidowed-a]

here are my collective thoughts on my first listen at b.andstand on broadway. a lot of comparisons are gonna be made to papermill just because i’ve been listening to it for like six months straight waiting for this transfer, so it’s the version i’m used to. this post is NOT spoiler free, by the way. alright, let’s do it.

opening/just like it was before:

totally new arrangement from what it was at papermill, but i still really like the song

lyrical similarities right off the bat to ‘right this way’

“i’d like a good nights sleep, is that too much to ask?”

“the cream always rises” hmmmm, i see what y’all did there (see: donny novitski)

“you talk in your sleep” “i should have warned ya”

why is this score so lit

“if i can’t play, then what’s the point of making it back home?” have i mentioned today i love donald novitski because i feel like at this point i need to say that

that last harmonizing note fuck fuck fuck

donny novitski:

pretty much entirely the same as papermill

donny has some serious animosity at frank sinatra

i like hearing this song with the full orchestra though it’s lit

“donny needs something to block all the memories and break his insomnia spell” again, hello, i love donald novitski thanks

corey cott could kill someone with that last note his vibratto is killer

scene before i know a guy:

“we’re not open yet” “your back door is”

THEY GAVE NATE HOPKINS APPLAUSE AFTER HIS SAX SOLO I’M SCREAMING

i still can’t believe they call michael ‘rubber’ through most of this show

i know a guy:

the “drivin’ me nuts’ joke is still hilarious

JIMMY YOU SKINNY SON OF A BITCH

why is nick radel me

“how do you miss a b flat? it’s a b flat trumpet!”

THAT LITTLE JUST LIKE IT WAS BEFORE REPRISE

why did they skim wayne and johnny shy though like we got full scenes with davy, nick, and jimmy why not them too??

ain’t we proud:

still a catchy song but not one of my favs

NICK GOT APPLAUSE AFTER THEIR SOLOS HECK

corey fucking cott teaching himself piano for this show and you wouldn’t have even guessed what a fucking champ

post-ain’t be proud, pre-who i was:

i love johnny simpson more than anything in this life i will choose his happiness over mine every time

“how much slower will you get, will they put you in reverse” FUCK

you can hear johnny mumbling “sunday.... sunday” before he asks what day of the week is sunday i swear to god i would die for him

“the high balls are on me” “i don’t get it” “well see, griaffes are really tall”

“how bad was it?” “friendly fire got him” “were you the friend?” what kind O F FUCKING FORESHADOWING

“aren’t you a little old for ding dong ditch” julia,,,,,, julia,,,,,,,

i don’t like that they have that interlude and have julia invite him over a different day instead of just inviting him in right away. i feel like that could be cut out honestly

“i just want to know what happened” “what will that get you?” “i don’t know, sleeping through the night? closing a chapter? maybe just getting out the door?” juliaaaaaaa i’m a fucking wreck it’s fine

who i was:

AHHH I LOVE HEARING THIS SONG WITH THE FULL ORCHESTRA

the dinner scene:

“you look pretty” “well, turns out there’s better cosmetics than cake flour” Me: Fucking Squints(tm)

MRS ADAMS USED TO PLAY THE PIANO

THE DEVILED EGGS

“the top of the paprika shaker fell off” i’m

oh shit since they took donny’s parents out of the beginning number from papermill, his mom died when he was thirteen

julia crying while they go through the pictures i’m fine

JULIA ENOUGH WITH THE ��CON DOM JOKES

“your daughter’s voice is beautiful, it’s really high” my god donny

just like it was before (reprise):

the chorus of “donny no” and “what are you doing?” from julia and wayne when he tells julia to come sing with them i’m shrieking

“wait, i gotta transpose” JOHNNY

first steps first:

it’s a bit different than what it was but gd i’d still die for laura osnes’ voice

“no need to be so shy, take reassurance i know how to guide you through the worst steps, first steps first” uh more foreshadowing re: donny

“why don’t you kick it up” “oh, thank god” DAVY

oooh yeah i like this new arrangement

“you want a drink?” “oh i hardly ever drink” “you wanna trade livers” davy please

“the best i could hope is to teach the kids choir at church” “DON’T. TEACH.” i love nick sm 

JULIA ASKING ABOUT WAYNE’S KIDS I’M SOBBING OH MY G OD

JULIA TROJAN IS THE LIGHT OF THIS ENTIRE WORLD AND I WOULD DIE FOR HER

their names are emily and grady btw 

“as far as i’m concerned i’m one of the lucky ones” “yes you are, you made it home” “no, lucky i don’t remember” again, i would die for johnny simpson too

god damn julia’s voice is so soft and sweet i’m dying. the voice laura uses is even softer than her ella voice i just wanna hug her

heck they kept the “parents warn their kids about people like you” line god bless

“oh a wise cracker! you might be watching too many pictures” uh ya did you not get the “avid cinephile” line, donny?

“i don’t need to be rescued” ur goD DAMN RIGHT JULIA

“i’ll give it a thought but there are a lot of things i want to know about michael” “first steps first” oh fuck i see what y’all did there

breathe:

“stop touching my stuff with your sweaty hands” this is literally a band full of five year olds

??? this song doesn’t really do anything ???

they could easily cut this song tbh

it’s pretty much just like them rehearsing for you deserve it

you deserve it:

DID YOU MEAN MY FUCKING JAM SECOND ONLY TO ‘NOBODY’? YEP

this song didn’t change pretty much at all and it’s still a bop

CAUSE WHEN YOU GOT THE CALL YOU STOOD UP PROUD AND TALL AND YOU DESERVE IT

post-you deserve it/pre-love will come and find me again:

donny and julia bonding over music i’m shook

“michael is buried in some place called manila, i'll never get to manila, i never got to say goodbye. a lot of things just vanish with not explanation and i wanna know. if-if he was in pain, i wanna know how his hands were folded in the casket and if-if his uniform was pressed and his hair was combed right and a million other things that keep me up at night” i’m sobbing 

julia takes no shit and i love her so much

“i survived mustard gas and pepper spray, i guess that makes me a seasoned veteran” davy’s jokes oh my god

JULIA BREAKING UP THE FIGHT BETWEEN DONNY AND NICK

“WALK ME HOME, DONNY, COME ON”

awwww julia’s poem

“don’t stay up all night reading them, get some sleep” “eh, gave up on that a long time ago” :////

THE LITTLE REPRISE OF WHO I WAS

“when i lost him it broke my soul. who knew my voice could be one part of the whole? well... perhaps someone does” fuck

“gershwin’s got nothing on you” MRS ADAMS 

“i’ll stay up all night, i’m good at that” again i’m ://///////

love will come and find me again:

laura osnes could step on me and i’d thank her

nothing has changed with this song but fuck it’s so good

right this way:

“bayer-FUCKING-asprin”

holy fuck this song might just win corey cott a tony nomination

ACT TWO

nobody:

AKA MY FUCKIN JAM AGAIN

literally the same nothing changed it’s still a bop

NICK ASKING WAYNE TO MOVE IN W/ HIM

“I JUST GOT A LIVE IN MAID” JFC

i got a theory:

LAURA ON THE UKE

nothing much changed with this song either tbh

JIMMY’S GAY AND HE LITERALLY WATCHED HIS BF DIE WHEN HIS SHIP EXPLODED FUCK THIS SHOW

i said it probably like twice already but i love johnny simpson

julia still having her moment of trying to convince davy to stop drinking ://///

post-i got a theory:

“was it quick? did he suffer? was he trying to save someone?” “you don’t wanna know”  “for a year and a half it’s all i’ve wanted to know. was he scared? what was the last thing he said? were his eyes open?” AND D ONNY SNAPS AT HER IM “

JUST STOP IT”

“i’m still waiting”

oh myg od

they changed michael’s entire death 

donny had accidentally dropped a grenade while they were in a trench and couldn’t find it. he tried to tell michael to get out and he didn’t make it and fuck he’s crying telling this to julia what the fuck has this show done to me

everything happens:

“IT WAS HIS FAULT” JULIA JULIA JU L I  A

i love mrs adams so much

what would julia have done without her

welcome home:

JULIA AND MICHAEL LITERALLY MET IN HIGH SCHOOL DOING THEATRE FUCK ME UP

“you know the first thing he said to me? don’t sing because you need to get the lead, sing because you just need to sing. you know what he said next? the girl who got the lead stuffs her bra with so much kleneex, one cigarette act and she’ll go up” no wonder julia wrote poetry for this guy he was smooth as FUCK

“stop picking up my clothes, if i wanted them in the drawer, i’d put them in the drawer” nick relax

donny singing welcome home i’m in tears

HE ENCOURAGES HER TO WRITE WELCOME HOME AS A LOVE SONG IF MICHAEL HAD COME HOME FUCK THIS ENTIRE SHOW

“sometimes i just think, maybe the wrong guy came home” again, fuck this entire show

a band in new york city:

THE GUYS AT THE VA PAID FOR THEIR TRIP SO PURE

this song is still a bop too

this is life:

idk i like this song but i think i almost prefer “give me a reason”

this also hasn’t changed at all from when they sang it at broadwaycon

but holy fuck do corey and laura sound incredible together

welcome home (reprise):

jimmy campbell: the real hero

“we came, we saw, we said fuck it” DAVY IS ME

THIS IS LIFE REPRISE FUCK F UCK FUCK

WHAT I FEEL FOR YOU JULIA IS TRUE. NO MATTER HOW TOUGH IT IS, NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME IT TAKES, I NEED TO BE WITH YOU. AND THAT IS TRUE.

I’M SERIOUSLY HOPING THAT THE CROWD CHEERING IS BECAUSE THEY KISSED BECAUSE FUCK YOU GUYS I’M CRYING THAT WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN JUST THE “I LOVE YOU JULIA TROJAN” FROM PAPERMILL HE WAS LITERALLY CRYING AND I’M LITERALLY CRYING

the lyrics changed a bit to welcome home and it still breaks my heart

finale:

awwwww sweet betsy oh my god

donny inviting her and her family backstage to meet her father who served i’m sobbing it’s fine

it’s literally just a reprise of nobody oh god

it could have been a little longer but !!!!!!

okay, so overall holy shit. a lot changed from papermill. dialogue, songs, you name it. i think the book needs a little re-writing and there are a lot of pointless interludes between scenes that could be cut but!!!!!!! holy fuck overall i love it so much. i can’t wait until we get a video boot i need to see this choreography and ESPECIALLY this is life and before welcome home

[sambashua]

HOW SVT BE FAM

♥S-sa-say the name!!

So this is going to be the longest post in the history of mankind bc I go real deep w their personalities and stuff ahh also since I don’t personally know them ofc so this is all based on what I’ve seen from their shows and videos:)) THANKS FOR ASKING KAT I’M GONNA TURN YOU INTO A HARDCORE CARAT SOONER RATHER THAN LATER AHHH [sidenote i included my personal nicknames for them so u know who i’m talkin abt irl girl] I ALSO LINKED A BUNCH OF STUFF I RLLY WENT CRAZY

Choi Seungcheol aka S.coups (cheolie) - OKAY AH since he’s your bias I’ll write extra thingsssss!! The faithful general leader and rap boyyy scoops! So this lil bun I thought for a while when I first followed them like oh he’s probably the most normal like he’s level headed and stuff but NOPE NOPE NOPE! SEUNGCHEOL IS ACTUALLY THE BIGGEST CUTIE DORK IN THE WORLD he is afraid of like a lot of things which is too funny bc he’s acts all manly and all the members see him that way and I cannot believe~ like he’s afraid of killing fish and and fireworks and being in front of the camera alone and chopping firewood and doing something that doesn’t get a reaction?? Whenever he does any sort of charm he tells the members to be sure to have a good reaction and BOYY IF THEY DONT he goes off on them I stg… but in all seriousness he is so so so hardworking (he trained for 6 years oh my god) like he always tries to take pressure off his members and he cares for his babies so much and they even call him appa sometimes and they look up to him so much it is the cutest thing like they always rate him so high in looks and I cry love him plz. But he is an actual puppy like w his long eyelashes and pouty face like oh my god and he is getting cuter everyday???? Like actually tho he’s doing it on purpose and I can’t handle it?? When did he plan this I can’t believe how frickin cute he is being lately! He’s such a soft fluff and he’s always so strong for the other members and they look up to him so much and he is one of the best groups leaders I’ve ever seen just bc of how much they all respect and listen to him:)Yoon Jeonghan (hannie) - so this pos… jkjk (kinda) hannie is “svt’s angel” bc he was born on 1004 the pretty vocalist who everyone knows as the guy in seventeen w long hair SOOO the thing w hannie is he is like the most beautiful man in kpop like his face is so pretty and his features too like?? How?? He seems like he would be feminine but he is actually one of the most (if not the most) manly members of svt!! But he gets tired so fast tho he is rated #13 in stamina and they call him lying-jeonghan bc he’s always lying down lol. But oh my god he is such a piece of trash I cannot believeeeee on tumblr I have a tag dedicated to all the times hannie has been a piece of shit I’ll link it to you if you want but like he cheats and lies in EVERY GAME THEY HAVE EVER PLAYED NO JOKE and even if they’re not competing he is always the first to call someone out and he is just such a ho i die like he is not svt’s angel at all BUTTTTTTTT he is actually so hardworking like even if he’s tired they’ve said that he keeps practicing and ugh he’s good… he has dubbed himself mother of svt and generally everyone p much agrees w him! Hannie and seungcheol call the other members “kids” and it is the purest thingJoshua Hong/Hong Jisoo(kor) (shuaaa) - everyone kinda knows josh as the American gentleman w his sweet voice and sick English skills (side note whenever he speaks eng tho he always stutters and I’m like boy why but it’s super cute and ilh) and he can speak five languages (supposedly) he plays guitar and he’s rlly Christian too lol so he’s the resident “church oppa” as the kids say these days and he has a cute cartilage piercing w a cross aw (he also recently got his tragus pierced and damn it looks good but anyway) Also his peach hair was such a good time like wow. Shua seems rlly quiet and I mean he is but oh my god he is so fucking extra LIKE I DONT UNDERSTAND ALL OF A SUDDEN HE BECAME SO EXTRA IDK WAS HE ALWAYS THIS WAY BUT I DIDNT SEE PAST HIS CAT EYES AND SWEET VOICE LIKE WHO KNOWSSSS but he does this pin drop dance thing way too often but it’s hilarious and the members are obsessed w it bc he always says he has a hard time w dance and choreo and this is his only dance move (but tbh he’s actually p good at dancing like i never rlly notice he falls behind or anything except that one time performing pretty u where he started his part too early but that actually created a new part of the choreo they ended up using for a bit fun fact)… that and his samba aka my url sambashua (technically he doesn’t actually samba tho I’m p sure he’s doing the merengue but it’s okay shua I still love u) He’s also a fricking nerd for anime which is great i love it. Josh and Vernon are rlly close bc English buds and they’re the memeist together also him and jeonghan are a true ship bc they came to pledis at the same time and they’re cute

Wen Junhui/Moon Junhui(kor) aka Jun - so jun is ½ of china line and ¼ foreign line. A dancing noodle from southeast China wow (I say noodle bc he is a skinny bean and also v flexible bc he does martial arts things wow) he did Kung Fu in china for a long as heck time and does a lot of kicky things and flips and he’s super cool ALSO FUN FACT: HIS NAME IS JUN AND HE WAS BORN IN JUNE WOOHOO a lot of people assume he’s like sly/greasy but that’s mostly him in like interviewy shows?? But in reality shows and vlives he is actually just such a cute sweet bean and he loves the members so much! He was a child actor in china and was p famous I think for a while?? But he learned Korean p well before he joined pledis (their label btw idk if you know or not lol) BUT EVEN FROM DEBUT HIS PRONUNCIATION HAS KEPT IMPROVING IM SO PROUD a lot of people cal him the true visual of svt (tbh I don’t like that bc they’re all beautiful don’t put anyone down ah) BUT HE IS SO HANDSOME LIKE DAMN BOY HE’S GOT SUCH NICE FEATURES AND HE IS THE CUTEST BEAN IN THE WORLD Alsoooo several of the members have dubbed him svt’s mother bc he’s super encouraging and “endless positivity jun” and he pays special attention to minghao they have the purest friendship!! (plz give him lines)Kwon Soonyoung aka Hoshi (HOSH) - DANCE MASTER AND PERF TEAM LEADER OF SEVENTEEN LIKE OKAY ALL OF PERF TEAM IS SO TALENTED I CAN’T BELIEVE BUT SOONYOUNG IS SO INCREDIBLE HE CAN CREATE DANCES ANYTIME ANYWHERE AND HE EXECUTES THEM SO WELL?? His stage name Hoshi means star in Japanese bc he shines in stage! And he knows Japanese pretty well I don’t think he’s fluent but he cute cute cute!! Anyway people rec him to go on hit the stage (WHICH I AM SO HERE FOR (but also let him rest he needs a break dear god they all do)) he creates all of svt’s dances wow (w help from perf team ofc) but he is actually the squishiest sweetest boy off stage but then on stage he completely transforms into whatever concept like he can take on anything?? I would not have assumed dark concept would work for him BUT BOY HOWDY IT DOES he turns from adorable hamster to sexy dance god in .2 seconds i don’t understand how people who bias him survive tbh… He is also SHINee’s biggest fan oh my god and the fact that he now stands on the same stages as them literally blows his mind he is such a fanboy i love♥ HE CARES FOR HIS MEMBERS SO MUCH (I realize I’ve said this abt everyone but hey hey they have a lot of love) he wrote HIGHLIGHT as his first time ever helping produce/write lyrics and I’m so proud:D AND HIS VOICE HIS SO GOOD he’s just so bouncy and good and so attractive??? He goes by 10:10 bc his eyes are like the hands of a clock at 10:10 wowie and EYE SMILES FOR DAYS~ just a sweet lil bab w a pure heart honestlyJeon Wonwoo (wonu aka the loml) - goddammit I hate jeon wonwoo JKJK OKAY SO JEON WONWOO IS MY ULT BIAS IMMA DO MY BEST TO KEEP THIS CONCISE BUT IDK HOW IT’S GONNA GO I HAVE A LOT TO SAY! jeon frickin wonwoo has the deepest voice in svt and is known for his deep, smooth rap style wow (his rap style is really unique like if you listen to it it sort of ebbs and flows w the music and he drags out notes sometimes it’s so nice fuck) he sings all the time it’s so great and the members always ask him to read things bc (he’s good at reading generally and) he has his nice deep voice ahh~ JEON FRICKIN WONWOO IS THE BIGGEST DORK IN THE WHOLE WORLD jeon wonwoo enjoys making bad puns and reading books (esp romance ones I hate him). The other members act like they hate his jokes but they always laugh at what he says and when he was gone (rip he was sick for a couple months from end of may ish to july ish) they mentioned that they missed his dumb jokes (and so did I). He considers himself to be the best looking (what a ho) and he is naturally skinny which a lot of the members are jealous of (but tbh this could be partially because he has a lot of health issues and allergies I just want to care for him and make him food and feed him forever so he gets fat and happy help me) On one fine day he was dubbed the garden fairy and also jeon wonwoo bag of luck oh my god I am so embarrassed by him (jk I love him w the entirety of my heart in case you couldn’t tell) Some of my favorite things abt wonwoo are his little nose crinkles when he smiles and his glasses that look just so cute on him and when he wears big sweaters and then he has sweater paws and he looks so cuddly and soft. He is also so boastful like he is always the first one to support himself it’s so funny but he doesn’t exactly brag it’s more confidence idk but he’s also rlly smart and good at acrostic poems bc he reads so much:) He also always cheers for other members when they want him to i.e. seungkwan when he cheers for himself. He seems shy when he’s on talk shows but I think he just wants to let other people talk but on vlives he always whispers to other members aND I JUST WANT HIM TO SPEAK UP! JEON WONU TELL US WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY but in conclusion I am in love with him and would def recommend anyone to bias him bc honestly he is a good bias just bc he is chill and pure and funny and beautiful (even tho sometimes he’s MIA and quiet as heck pshhh)Lee Jihoon aka Woozi - vocal team leader and producer of p much all their lit ass tunes!! 10/10 MOST HARDWORKING MEMBER OUT OF SVT I’M SORRY IF YOU DISAGREE BUT JIHOON WORKS SO HARD ALL THE TIME I’M SO WORRIED FOR HIM HE NEEDS A BREAK!! It’s so heartbreaking tho if you ever want to cry and cough up your lungs bc of sobs then watch SVT Project where he talks abt how he feels so much pressure and feels like their success or failure is riding on him bc he writes all their music and will determine if they will be any good:(((( BUT OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE A BIG HIT BC JIHOONIE IS SUPER TALENTED AND MAKES THE BEST UPBEAT FUNKY FRESH POP TUNES OF THE CENTURY~ he is one of (if not the) shortest male idols at the moment at a staggering 165cm/5'4"! But it’s so great bc he doesn’t try to hide his heigh and he is considered and “inspiration to short men” according to one fashion report. The members always say he is rlly manly but on camera he acts cute and 10/10 appreciate it bc he is the cutest ever but only subtly… like he embarrassingly/shyly covers his face so cutely and gets angry so adorably where he just glares aw (he has also confirmed that he considers himself to be more cute than scary) woozi is a abbreviation of “our jihoon” which is the cutest asjkdhskl. He is also seventeen’s grandpa bc he is rlly not too hip at all but they try to help him out anyway! He also winks 24/7 lol. His voice is rlly clear and piercing like he often sings parts of the chorus and his voice draws you in idk it’s nice:) he trained for the second longest amount after scoops (5 years) so they’re super close bc they were together longer than the other membersLee Seokmin aka Dokyeom/DK - an actual ray of sunshine w the most incredible vocals like wow! He is svt’s “happy virus” and boy does he own it!! He is always smiling and laughing and making jokes he is the cutest I stg… He also has a more built figure physically and it’s hot as heck tbh. He, seungkwannie and soonyoung make up the “booseoksoon” trio which is basically the extra/mc/always laughing squad and they are such close friends it’s the cutest ever boo and hosh think he’s the funniest person in the world I love it!! Seokmin also puts a lot of pressure on himself bc he’s main vocal and I feel like he’s super underrated???? But he went on King of Masked Singer and I think he made it through two or three rounds? Anyway he did rlly rlly good (even tho honestly think he has way more potential than what he showed) and I hope it boosted his confidence bc he is incredible!! The judges assumed he was from an older group bc his voice was so mature eeeee!! HE IS SO LOUD OH MY GOD one time they said that the CEO could hear him practicing from the 4th floor while he was in the basement I- He is always the first person to make fun of himself and he doesn’t mind being the brunt of a joke as long as he gets people to laugh it’s adorable:)) He always brings up the mood and helps out the members whenever there is awkwardness w being filmed and such JUST SUPPORT THIS SUNNY BOY HE HAS SO MUCH LOVE AND JOY IN HIS HEART!!Kim Mingyu - the tallest bean on the block and svt’s “visual tree” at a staggering 190cm/6'1" (correct me if I’m wrong I didn’t look this up) but I’m p sure he has grown recently bc he is getting taller everyday I swear? He’s got some good rap mhmm~ But he is such a clumsy pup and the members always make fun of him but it’s okay bc he can take it (he has the best reaction so that’s why they do it) He is dropping things and tripping 25/8 and it’s the cutest thing! But “housewife ming” can legit do anything like he is a true man of many talents damn i.e. cooking, hairstyling, acting, cleaning… But he is so so pretty like who the heck allowed him to be this attractive?? Gyu goes from super visual savior to fluffy pup on the daily and it’s too much to handle… Idk he seems like he might be super cool and chic when you first see him but he is actually just a giggly fool always having a hard time… Mingyu is the only one in svt that I would call the “visual” (only bc he is officially the visual i think they are literally gorgeous okay!!) but he is actually rlly insecure abt it and only calls himself “aspiring visual” and it’s mostly bc of his dark complexion WHICH IS COMPLETELY FLAWLESS AND SO BEAUTIFUL STOP WHITEWASHING KIM MINGYU PLZ but i rlly commend him for being visual despite common opinions/standards on skin color in korea. A lot of people (okay most people) ship him and wonwoo (aka meanie) and I do too, don’t get me wrong, but my all time favorite ship is mingyu and minghao (aka gyuhao) bc same age, they act like they hate each other but are actually super supportive (one of my fave tropes blah) and idk they’re both just confused pups help me and w that transition…

Xu Minghao/Seo Myungho(kor) aka The8 (i never call him the8 ever srry b i don’t like it idk ah) - our “cool cutie” from northeast(i think) China with the most killer bboying skills i’ve ever seen in kpop! He now introduces himself as “The8 with infinite possibilities” and he has been growing more and more as an artist and a person I’m so proud of him!! He trained for the shortest amount of time (~1year+2months i believe) and he really struggled w Korean when he first started. Even after debut he was very quiet but he has been talking more and more lately and he has been doing so well!! Minghao is cute as heck but he is also (along w hannie) svt’s Resident Savage™ and the main usage of his Korean improvement has gone into calling out the other members w his incredible comebacks. Two of his favorite targets seem to be soonyoung and mingyu but he rlly doesn’t hold back on anyone (except maybe jun bc they are such good buddies bc china line and jun helps him w his korean asjkklfjls) But anyway he is an incredible dancer and singer and also rapper!! (give him more lines plz plz plz) vernon has been helping him w his korean rapping but he is already one lit mandarin rapper like damn… But minghao is the most supportive member of svt (hear me out) whenever they do broadcasts or radio shows minghao always gives thumbs ups/supportive smiles/high fives it is the purest thing and part of the reason I love him sm!!! He’s also super cuddly and is always touching/hugging the other members asjkltfasd. Sometimes he doesn’t quite understand a question and the other members help explain it to him it’s my favorite concept (it’s usually soonyoung or seungcheol but i’ve seen p much all of them do it) lately he has been getting more meme-y and idk how to feel but as long as he’s getting out of his comfort zone I am immensely proud of him:))

Boo Seungkwan (boo) - the other main vocal in svt and just generally the loudest and usually mc for the group. Boo has some of the most incredible vocals i’ve seen in my life and he sings probably my favorite cover duet of all time (the high note around 3:05 makes me emotional every time istg also their reactions are me) He’s so talented and his voice is so clear and nice and his RANGE! I could go on forever… To describe seungkwan in two words would be sweet and sassy… He is part of maknae/baby line but he’s always calling people out and bossing them around it’s hilarious. (he is generally hilarious tbh) Also he’s a huge volleyball program nerd it’s great (and possibly haikyuu!! but not confirmed) He’s commonly referred to as divaboo and the video just seungkwan things captures all his divaness perfectly 10/10 would rec! He’s also super english-y all the time probably bc he spends so much time w vernon which is great for us international fans whoop whoop. But back to him being sweet- even though he is definitely his own biggest fan (in the most adorable way omg) he is also svt’s biggest fan he always cheers on his members it’s so cute he’s so soft and good! He cares so much for the fans and he’s head of the Seventeen Fan Cafe (i think) and he’s great abt interacting w carats and all that fanservicey stuff:) He is also super underappreciated honestly support him bc he supports everyone else even tho he’s rlly insecure abt his looks and body even tho he is the most beautiful boo w THE BEST CHEEKBONES IN THE UNIVERSE HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE THINGS DAMN BOY

Hansol Vernon Chwe/Choi Hansol(kor) aka Vernon (bernonie) - One of the most well-known members of svt bc he’s half white and was also a child actor. He has some of the most lit raps tbh and i’m p sure every single one (or almost) has english in it lol. His mom is white and American and his dad is from Korea. Technically he was born in New York, USA BUT BUT BUT he moved to korea when he was five so he doesn’t remember it like at all and every host ever asks him abt it and he always has to say he is basically korean and JUST LET HIM LIVE but since his mom speaks english he is fluent in it (but he has said he is better at korean) He is super super visual and he gets more attractive every day like who the heckkk. Hansol is one of the more popular members so a lot of people would expect him to be outgoing (or even douchey bc he’s half white which is dumb yet it happens) but he is one of the quietest members and usually doesn’t speak up in interviews and such bc he’s kinda shy! BUT THIS DOES NOT I REPEAT DOES NOT MEAN HE IS NOT A MEME!! VERNON IS CONFIRMED THE MEMEIST MEMBER OF SVT ALONG W JOSHUA DON’T FIGHT ME. At this point he has even been dubbed “memesol” bc he makes the best reaction faces in recorded history dear god. He also finds literally everything so hilarious and definitely laughs the most whenever the other members do anything. But honestly he is a super cute, sweet pup who deserves a whole lotta love!! also kinda unrelated but one of my favorite posts of all time is dedicated to him i don’t even know…

Lee Chan aka Dino (MY SON) - I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START W THIS LIL BAB! Lee Chan is svt’s “small giant” maknae who is Michael Jackson’s #1 Fan™ and literal dancing machineeee! He has grown so much since debut i cannot believe and he is getting more confident MY BOY! Honestly his glow up should be some kinda world record bc oh my god it hasn’t even been two years?? AND HIS RAP HAS IMPROVED SO MUCH LIKE EVEN FROM JAM JAM TO OMG Vernon rapped most of jam jam but then in omg chan rapped all of it by himself!!!! ALSO EVEN FROM OMG TO HIGHLIGHT NOW HE TRANSITIONS FROM RAPPING STRAIGHT INTO SINGING WITH THE SAME BREATH I CANNOT BELIEVE!! But he is so creative and funny and full of energy!! He helps hoshi w most of the dances (i think he did most of the choreo for jam jam) and his stage name is dino bc when he steps on the stage he takes it over and becomes a big presence like a dinosaur which is so creative??? he also graduated high school a while back and then just too his entrance exams!! I’m so proud!! But he tries so hard to keep improving and he’s just so pure and has a complete heart of gold♥ He also aspires to be an mc and he works rlly hard to improve his skills on that front too! Chan is so incredibly talented, but again not a whole lot of people bias him which is crazy???? Bc he is so hansome and also my son?? also lowkey savage af But all the members love him a whole lot and he is their baby, even though he is now “an adult” but srry bun no one will probably ever stop calling him baby (esp jeonghan)

[carlyjyll]

Review! Hemlock Grove: Part 1 Adumbratio

Time to dive into that wacky Gothic adventure by Brian McGreevy called Hemlock Grove. There will be SPOILERS!

Forewarning! 

I’ve watched the show (what can I say, Bill Skarsgard’s performance in Simple Simon piqued my interest), so I sorta know what’s going on. Like most movies or TV Shows based on books, I’m always interested in the source material. Either I’m very confused about what the hell is happening (i.e. Game of Thrones/ ASOIAF) or I want to see if the book(s) were like that as well (i.e. Twilight).

I’m very excited to read this because of the show, so hopefully, it explains a lot more!

Review Time!

 The quotes before the section were a nice step into the atmosphere of the world of Hemlock Grove. 

So we meet this seventeen-year-old Half-Romani kid named Peter Rumancok who is weird as all hell and I love it. He just moved to Hemlock Grove, Pennsylvania with his mother (Lynda) after his uncle died. In the first chapter, he is onlooking a crime scene before walking home to his mother and telling her about it. Peter explains that he has a bad feeling and that he should trust his Swadisthana (which he describes as being located near your balls). Which of course this kid would think that way. Lynda Rumancok is not just a mom, she’s a cool mom and is smoking pot when we meet her, which is coincidentally how I met some of my friends’ moms. 

In the next chapter, we’re introduced to Roman Godfrey, green-eyed rich boy creep of the series. Now here’s where I’m a little confused on what happens. I’m pretty sure Roman goes all upir on her and fucks with the girl’s head, but she also could’ve been a hooker that he likes to have creepy, rapey, needle in the ass, blow-jobs with?? Or maybe both? Anyway, he pays her $500 before she leaves, which is what confuses me a little. Was he paying her because she provided a sexual service or is he being creepy and rapey? or both?? Though all of that should put me off, I’m really intrigued about what this fuckboy will get up to next.

Later on, we find out that the crime scene that Peter saw was actually the body of Brooke Bluebell, and is thought to be an animal attack. Then we meet the ever charming Alex Finster who says that he believes that Brooke’s death was by cannibal Gypsies while Peter is in earshot. Has anyone ever met a Finster that wasn’t an ass? Like anyone??

After that lovely and all too real high school experience, Peter comes home to tell his mom that there is an upir at his school (in reference to Roman). Now I want to add before he does this that I have to give a shout out to McGreevy for the way he described Hemlock Grove. I could picture all of it. The dirty money making factory, loved it. Also loooved this line: “[past the train tracks]...The traditional divider of workers and management and to this day a telling indicator of socioeconomic station.” Truer words haven’t ever been spoken. Another shout out to how McGreevy writes, it’s really different to what I'm used to reading or writing myself but I really dig it. He kinda gives me some modern times Sir Author Doyle vibes in the way he writes, which is more than excellent.

Moving on...After Peter tells Lynda about the upir at school we meet 13-year-old Christina. Christina Wendall (which btw the actress on the show Freya Tingley, was playing this character as well as a 12-year-old Wendy Darling on Once Upon A Time,  

which considering how Part 1 of this book ends is quite weird to me...) is a curious writer and befriends (if that’s what you can call it) Peter. Christina asks Peter if he’s a werewolf because his index and middle finger are the same length. (I have to admit that I looked at my own hands during this part. Sadly no my fingers are all different lengths, no shedding of my flesh in this life.) Peter admits that he is a werewolf but in that weird uncle kind of way where you don’t know if they’re really joking or not and before you can ask them they send you away to get their beer. Which is exactly what Peter does to Christina.

On page 16 of the book Peter is talking about fitting in (or not) at school and he starts listing things that are at least entertaining and one of them really stood out to me. “Who locked themselves in the handicapped bathroom to jerk off or cry...” So I pose a question to all of you which one were you? I would be cry, but only in the basement bathrooms of my high school where no one went because the light flickered and someone possibly died there. 

But enough about me! 

We get to meet Shelley Godfrey, the 7 1/2 foot tall younger sister of Roman, who’s more or not looks like that girl from The Ring but in a Frankenstein monster way. Peter is nice to her, which good at least somebody is. Though he’s nice to Shelley, Peter has a flashback of another encounter he had with upir’s when he shares English class with Roman. Okay so these upirs are naked dancing French upirs and they are torturing a fox while it’s in a trap with dangling cheese. They are even worse than that Finster or Roman. (Another side note! “The French” like you don’t even have to say more than that and I know what you mean. As someone having the Frenchist of French names, I agree and I understand.)

One page 19, there’s another question I’d like to ask you all reading that Roman brought up. Batman vs. Wolverine; who would win in a fight? This is really tough for me... but I think maybe Wolverine??? What do you guys think? 

We get introduced to Letha Godfrey, Roman’s first cousin for a moment before Roman does what Roman always does and surprises everyone! He reads a poem in English class, which Alex Finster interrupts with another dude and Roman says, “Are you fucking philistines pretty proud of yourselves?” Which YAS! Go the fuck off, you creepy as fuck boy, tell them they’re being assholes.

Later on, Peter goes to the park where Brooke was killed and lays down where her body was found. In my notes all I wrote was ‘Starts humming The Smiths.’ Make of that what you will. Finally, the scene I’ve been waiting for; Roman and Peter finally talk! They both think the other killed Brooke, Roman asking if Peter came back to his territory or something. Peter tells him that, “Territory is so bourgeois.”  

(UGH so many 80′s vibes.) Then my favorite thing happens that I forgot existed till now. “Shee-it.” Hello old friend. Need I say more. Perfect word for awkward/uncomfortable situations. They get caught being out at a crime scene, but it’s okay because Roman goes all upir on the cops and Peter and Roman are good to go.

Next chapter has Shelley wanting to have a salad instead of meat because of all the beautiful colors but her mother Olivia Godfrey refuses her. Shelley writes to her uncle Norman Godfrey (Letha’s father) about the situation and GOD is Shelley too good for this world. Too pure. Also, I love the word authoress, I never knew it was a real word until this book. I finally found a new title for what I do! It’s so dramatic...Authoress. 

Then we come to a storyline that I completely forgot about! Olivia and Normans affair! I don’t know how I forgot about this one but DAMN. It’s a pretty big one. I should start that the two are reunited in their sex affair when Letha finds out that she is pregnant. Letha is a virgin, by the way, let the fun times begin! 

Letha tells her cousin Roman about the situation and how she believes an angel impregnated her. Roman tries to pry who could be the father and ends up sounding like the world’s dumbest owl. But he also has a moment of self-reflection or self-awareness “But as someone who was by nature a taker he when he had taken exactly as much as he was going to get.” I was surprised that Roman knew he was an ass. Then Roman goes back to drinking and driving when he almost hits a man in the middle of the road. The man starts screaming at Roman that he doesn’t “want to see that.” and “IT WAS YOU!” and crab walks off the road. <--- Was this suppose to be me, McGreevy? I also crab walk into Pennsylvania forests to get out of uncomfortable situations while screaming. Kidding aside, I liked the shout out to The Bell’s of St. Mary’s when Letha is talking with the crab walking man.

I really loved the next scene with Roman and Shelley, where he takes her back to her room and they begin to hum/sing This little light of mine. Once again Shelley is waaaaaay too good for this story. She’s way too innocent and nice.

On October 29th, Roman asks Peter if he can watch him transform into a werewolf. Peter, being a proud Rumancok and wanting to show off says yes. Before Peter transforms he is getting anxious, which Roman offers him some Xanax. WHAT DRUG DOESN’T ROMAN HAVE IN THAT TIN CAN? Is that what this book is really about? How many illegal substances can I fit into small objects? Make me the Mary Poppin’s pill popper, this tin can is endless! I see you, McGreevy, with your never ending tin can of drugs reference. I see you.

Going back to the actual story, we come to the really gross part. Now, this scene is just as disgustingly described as it was to watch it on the show, so kudos to McGreevy for coming up with this shit. I could picture everything. And it was ugly.

Speaking of ugly, we come to another scene in the show that I didn’t really get. So I understood what happened I just didn’t get why Christina Wendall decided to make out with a corpse (though she didn’t know it was a real corpse). Now that I read where Christina’s head was at (you know a thirteen-year-old buying condoms to have sex with a senior so she can write about it. AGAIN, McGreevy I see you writing about me!) This poor girl though. Trying to be too many things at once and then get’s fucked up to the extreme. <--- also me. FUCK is Christina me at that age? Is this like a forewarning story of how things could’ve gone if I hadn’t gotten sick? I mean I also had a Tyler in my life who wanted to bang. Could I have been trying to kiss corpse to experience something new? Hmmmm.....

So that’s the end of Part  1 of Hemlock Grove! I made it! 

The book has done what I wanted it to do and is answering a lot of questions I was asking. Like the whole why Christina decided to kiss the corpse, and what motivated her to go outside herself. I can’t wait to see what other little quirks or whatnot’s the book explains that the show didn’t quite do. But I have to say I love seeing that the show had so much book dialogue! That is always awesome to see in adaptations. I can’t wait to read the next 3 (or 4?) parts and give the rest of my review!

BONUS ROUND! 

Favorite Quotes

“Modern times were just so fucking structured.”

“Looks fucking metal” -Peter talking about a pentagram to Christina and being that uncle

“The car was totally metal”- Peter about Roman’s car.

“Shee-it”- My all-time favorite quote of this book

“It made his beard a bad liar”- Norman Godfrey about his beard

“Shut your lying whore mouth”- Roman to his cousin. Such a pleasure.

Stay tuned for my Part 2 of this Review! 

But in the meantime

Check out Brian McGreevy’s website here!

Buy his book, Hemlock Grove here!

If you haven’t seen the Hemlock Grove on Netflix go and give it a look!

[latenightbotanist]

I have feelings about the ode to joy and im going to dump them on you

At the time i am writing this part i have suffered through twenty two (22) hours of “ode to joy” repeated in my brains so you are gonna suffer with me now. Srsly, ask @madgronkish i kinda lost it around noon.. Anyways. First thought when i heard it was literally" theyre not going to fucking reunite them to THAT SONG??!?!“ Whilst i was wrong about sherlock driving the car…they still did that. Thanks mofftiss.

Ok now down to business. First off, DISCLAIMER, i am in no way qualified to do this? I dont know much about music and have like half an experience at writing meta? so..sorry in advance, maybe just look at this as inspiration and well..gay feelings bc i have enough of those to go around rn.

I will also tag some lovely people who actually know how to do this whole meta thing, and who knows, maybe one of you actually reads this mess and makes somethin out of it? Possibly? Idk, i dont blame you if you dont, really. @quietlyprim @loudest-subtext-in-tv @joolabee @hudders-and-hiddles @love-in-mind-palace @teapotsubtext @beejohnlocked @kinklock @marcelock @gaytectives @ormondsacker @culverton

So.. for all of you who dont know, ode to joy (originally “freude, schöner götterfunken”) is part of beethoven’s 9th symphony, it is the first ever symphony to incorporate voices, the lyrics mostly come from schillers “Ode an die Freude” and the melody itself has been the european anthem since 1972 (1985 if you insist on EU).

Ok so lets have a quick look at the lyrics(and i really mean quick, these are my notes from this morning, not exactly coherent but enough to get a general idea of my feelings about this, we’ll get into more detail later) i also put both the english and german version bc i felt at some points things got lost in translation, but honestly i dont know what to do about that so yeah, if you speak german, good for you, if not and by the end if this youre not bored to death and still have questions dont hesitate to ask i will awkwardly but gladly try to elaborate (this applies not only to lyrics btw)

O Freunde, nicht diese Töne!


Sondern laßt uns angenehmere anstimmen,


und freudenvollere.

/

Oh friends, not these sounds!


Let us instead strike up more pleasing


and more joyful ones!

(Literally lets have happier stories, also the score.. yes lets get the johnlock theme back,please)

Freude!
Freude! / Joy!
Joy!

Freude, schöner Götterfunken


Tochter aus Elysium,


Wir betreten feuertrunken,


Himmlische, dein Heiligtum!


Deine Zauber binden wieder


Was die Mode streng geteilt;


Alle Menschen werden Brüder,


Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

/ Joy, beautiful spark of divinity,


Daughter from Elysium, 

 
We enter, burning with fervour,             (Cant set the heart on fire if its

 
heavenly being, your sanctuary!              already burning w/ love, yall)


Your magic brings together 


what custom has sternly divided.               (Gayyyy!!!!!)


All men shall become brothers,           (Secret brothers,reunion…)


wherever your gentle wings hover.      

(Idk, mrs hudson is an angel?)

/

Wem der große Wurf gelungen,


Eines Freundes Freund zu sein;

 
Wer ein holdes Weib errungen,


Mische seinen Jubel ein!


Ja, wer auch nur eine Seele


Sein nennt auf dem Erdenrund

!
Und wer’s nie gekonnt, der stehle


Weinend sich aus diesem Bund!

/

Whoever has been lucky enough.         (Luckiest man in the world,


to become a friend to a friend,                 my only friend, … ) 

 Whoever has found a beloved wife,


let him join our songs of praise!               (Uh….how bout no?)


Yes, and anyone who can call one soul


his own on this earth!                                       (My john…..)


Any who cannot,

let them slink away
from this gathering in tears!   (Mary crying,then disappearing)

/

Freude trinken alle Wesen


An den Brüsten der Natur;


Alle Guten, alle Bösen


Folgen ihrer Rosenspur

.
Küsse gab sie uns und Reben,


Einen Freund, geprüft im Tod;*

(Like.. sherlock died and
 came back for john what more proof??)

 Wollust ward dem Wurm gegeben,

 
Und der Cherub steht vor Gott. 

Every creature drinks in joy


at nature’s breast;


Good and Bad alike


follow her trail of roses.                  (Good and bad, rosie, hmmmm)


She gives us kisses and wine,


a true friend, even in death;              (Or only in death?hey mary)


Even the worm was given desire,     (Mycroft? Nah,probs moriarty)


and the cherub stands before God.    (Sherlock, my lil cherub)

/

Froh, wie seine Sonnen fliegen

Durch des Himmels prächt'gen Plan,

 (Plans…ominous)


Laufet, Brüder, eure Bahn,

 
Freudig, wie ein Held zum Siegen.

Gladly, just as His suns hurtle


through the glorious universe,


So you, brothers, should run your course,             (the way it was always


joyfully, like a conquering hero.                                  meant to be…..) 

/

Seid umschlungen, Millionen!


Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt!


Brüder, über’m Sternenzelt


Muß ein lieber Vater wohnen.


Ihr stürzt nieder, Millionen?


Ahnest du den Schöpfer, Welt?


Such’ ihn über’m Sternenzelt!


Über Sternen muß er wohnen.

/

Be embraced, you millions!


This kiss is for the whole world!             (,!!???? Like???????Yes pls)


Brothers, above the canopy of stars


must dwell a loving father.                                (Or two? Hey dads)


Do you bow down before Him, you millions?


Do you sense your Creator, o world?


Seek Him above the canopy of stars!


He must dwell beyond the stars.

Well that was……….. kinda gay. Yeah yeah i know its just a queer reading no i dont believe it was intended to be gay by either beethoven or schiller (or was it?? Irdk) but. in the context of the show. which is rather what were looking at. Pretty damn gay, right?

Ok lets have a look at my absolute favourite lines first:

Your magic brings together/what custom has sternly divided.

Well… i think we can all agree that society has, quite sternly indeed, divided holmes and watson, romantically. Homosexuality just simply wasnt a custom, or at least very frowned upon, mildly speaking. It is rather magical to watch this wrong being righted though, i should think. More specifically in bbc sherlock, the divide has come through a custom of not speaking to each other, and guess what?? Yeah hudders is friggin done with that bs these two are talking now!

And then…

Be embraced, you millions!/This kiss is for the whole world!

*shrieking* do i? Do i really need to talk about this? I think not. This just…. yeah. I mean really….. I would like to add at this point that, at least to my ears, embraced sounds like a rather tame option of translation. “Umschlungen”, to me personally conveys a certain vigour, almost as if the embrace might… idk.. come as a surprise to some extend? Take the air from some peoples lungs? Yeah dunno what that could be about……

If you still need more i guess i could just blubber some more about it all but tbh what is structure? so yeah, here we go, feel free to leave anytime i mean its already pretty gay and hurts my heart i wont blame you if you think 

•WE ARE NOW ENTERING THE REALM OF JOY… yep thats happening things are getting happy, please, god, let them actually. And this joy that we will feel when John and Sherlock ( finally) get together will mend all the wrong thats been done to those two, and us Holmes fans, during all these years of being kept apart by society and norms and customs, homophobia and heteronormativity. Were entering a sanctuary, we are literally save here!

•General message of schiller’s ode to joy is literally that HUMAN CONNECTIONS ARE THE CROWN OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE like wow yes thank you it is as if human connections were the stuff that…completes you as a human being. Say what? 

•Not only is this true for johnlock but also for our entire community, were bound together by the joy of this show, our joy will mend what heteronormativty destroyed, the joy of their kiss will unite us, we will embrace it and the joyfull gayness will embrace us! 

 •The fact that its literally such a groundbreaking piece of music. There have been symphonies over and over but this is new, this is different, he incorporated voices. Groundbreaking,earthshattering… u get it. Seriously if anyone who has even a slither of a clue about music wants to educate me on what the inclusion of voices could stand for please im begging enlighten me my brains too fried im already struggling to get this done(as you might be able to tell. I am so sorry)

 And now, onto some more shit i stumbled upon in the original poem that, sadly, didnt make it into the song but: 

•Have patience for a better world to come, god(mofftiss) is good and will give you what you deserve

•Forget hatred and revenge, forgive your (arch)enemy who shall not have to cry or be rueful (ahem mary. Also possibly mycroft to some extent who knows whats gonna happen) 

•Bravery even in agony,help where innocence is weeping (hi john) 

•Something about oaths and telling the truth to your friends as well as enemies and how lies will bring everything down…… 

•Narrowing the circle, making oaths with wine and staying faithful(keep believing!!) 

•Salvation from tyranns, hope to the dying, mercy in council, forgiving of sins and ENDING HELL well ok then yes to all! 

 No honestly theres a lot and im horrifically underqualified and have a headache so i’ll stop now. If you actually read this whole mess of a thing.. thank you. Bless your soul. I’ll make you an origami elephant or something