#I promised myself I'd only do ten
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So. I've always wanted to get better at drawing someone's likeness with just lines so I decided to do a couple of sketches of Ga On as practice. And then decided to up the difficulty and practise on expressions while still capturing his likeness. Because why make things easy for myself? References were used for all of them (even the bratty, pouty one).
And yes, we definitely needed Actual Baby Deer Kim Ga On. Because of reasons.
... I'm a VERY serious artist, I promise.
(Not going to lie, I kinda wanna draw Yo Han with wolf ears now...)
#Kim Ga On#The Devil Judge#Art#Fan Art#KDrama#I'll soon be able to draw him in my sleep#Which is a good life skill to have I guess?#But I'm stopping here#I promised myself I'd only do ten#And I think I learned to capture him pretty well in that time#ALSO#Not going to lie#I'm kind of tempted to colour the one with the deer ears#Because he's just so damn cute x'D#I was snickering the entire time I was drawing it#That is obviously the one where I freestyled the most#And took some liberties#His eyes are a little bigger than they should be for example#And his neck just a tiny bit longer#But it made him look more like a deer so yeah
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I would like to again big up libraries as safe spaces for people of all types!
I had a psychotic episode in my local library while I was in there working and had convinced myself that I was in a bubble dimension and if I left the library I would die, and that being what had happened to the librarian because I hadn't seen them in an hour (it's a small, local library. You can see the librarians desk from where I sit to work)
Now obviously they weren't dead, they were just in the little office that I couldn't see into.
I'm also lucky enough to be a very self aware psychotic, so I reached out to my support network to make sure I got home safely. But none of them could actually get me OUT of the library and I was still absolutely certain that if I stepped off the carpet and onto the tile, I would die.
So I got up, I made my way to the desk, I found the librarian and I said "I need your help. I'm having a psychotic episode and this is what I currently believe. Could you please come out from behind your desk and stand on the tiles so I can see it won't kill me?"
And they did. They didn't shame me, or laugh, or tell me it wasn't real. They said "Yeah, that must be scary." And thanked me when I admitted I'd thought them dead and been really upset about that because I liked them.
And then stood there on the tile, while I stood on the carpet, for ten minutes while I chatted shit and tried to build up my courage to step on the tile, just in case. Including telling me that if this happened again and I needed to call someone, to disregard the usual 'don't call people in the library' rule and just do so after I promised I was going to be calling my husband the second I was on the tile so he could safely walk me home.
(& so no one worries: my husband got me home safe, and a friend came to check on me a little while later and brought me food and I'm fully Cognizant and out of it now)
I cannot imagine another place where I could approach someone and say that and not get the police or an ambulance called on me. Neither of which I needed or would have been helpful.
I cannot imagine another place where a member of staff would stand somewhere for ten minutes to make sure I felt safe enough leaving.
I cannot imagine another place where I would not only be explicitly welcomed back, but be told "If this happens again here, disregard our normal rules to take care of yourself."
I cannot imagine another place on this earth that I would feel safe enough returning to, 3 days later, after an episode like that.
Libraries are a fucking Godssend and should be protected at all costs!
#personal#okay to reblog#public libraries#support libraries#i love libraries#psychosis#actually psychotic#also still very very glad my brain was lying and that librarian isn't dead#they're good people#husbandtag
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POP THE HOOD F'ME
pairing. chris x reader genre. smut with plot. MDNI. word count [5.2k]
content; mechanic!chris, flirty!chris, smoking (they share a cig), sex with a stranger ig? semi public, car head (m recieving), face fucking, big dick chris, reader has an eyebrow piercing, use of pet names, dirty talk, swearing
Maybe it was just dumb luck.
My dad has been promising me that his old ford pickup was gonna be mine when I got my license since I was ten. However, not long after my sixteenth birthday, he randomly decided that his promise had conditions.
I had to fix it myself.
I had been putting off working on it for years. I just didn't have the time, and it needed a lot of work. The list of things to be fixed was long, and I knew if I started then, I wouldn't have finished.
Finally, the time presented itself for me to start. I finally had a summer that wasn't so busy, so I decided in May of this year I was finally going to do it.
I was finally going to get my own truck.
So I did; I worked on it for two long months. Two long months spent in the garage on my back under the heavy pickup with my hands covered in soot and oil whilst sweat dripped down my face. Two long months spent fixing the paint job and fiddling around under the hood, my hair tied back to keep it off my neck while the sun beamed through the opened garage door.
I finally felt confident enough to take it out for a test drive today. It was starting fine in the garage, and I'd driven it around the block a number of times without fail.
I excitedly hopped in the driver's seat and shut the heavy door, jamming my keys into the ignition and grinning at the sound of the roar when the engine started. I made it pretty much across town without a single problem, and I thought I was in the clear.
So, maybe it was just dumb luck when not even an hour later, here I am, standing on the side of the road next to said pickup with the hood popped and smoke coming out of the cabin.
Or maybe, just maybe, it was dumb luck when I realized I was only three blocks away from an auto shop, and a guy pulled over to help drag my car there.
It felt like forever when we finally reached the parking lot. The red and white sign that hung over the opened garage doors read 'sturniolo's auto-repair".
For the most part, the slots were empty, except for a 58' baby blue Impala that was suspended off the ground, and a brand new silver Subaru outback that sat right next to it.
As we finally pushed it into the open slot on the far end of the garage, I let out a sigh of relief, wiping the sweat off my forehead with one hand and letting them both rest at my sides.
I thanked the stranger for his assistance and he wished me luck, mumbling about how much a repair on a truck like this was going to cost before wandering off. I scowled at him as soon as he turned away from me.
Walking away from the smokey and damaged shell of a car, I pushed open the clear glass door into the entry-way of the shop, and the sound of the ringing bells that were carefully tied at the top of the door filled my ears.
Near the desk stood two boys, both were brunettes that roughly stood at the same height. The first was wearing a red toyota nascar cap backwards over his brown hair, as well as a black tank top and a navy blue mechanic's suit that hugged his frame. The name patch on the chest of it read "Matt". He was speaking to another customer, flailing the rag around as he emphasized his points with his hands.
The other was standing behind the counter, a gray bandana tied around his head. He wore a navy blue button up that he left completely open with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms, making the white tank top he wore under it visible.
The name patch on his chest read "Chris", and a white rag was thrown over his shoulder. A plethora of keys were hooked to a red carabiner that hung around the belt loop of his jeans. The desk hid his lower half below his waistline, and as I stepped closer, I saw a toothpick in between his teeth and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he jotted down words on a yellow notepad with a pencil.
I slowly walked up to the desk, my arms at my sides. He didn't raise his head to look at me, he just continued writing, so I cleared my throat.
His head shot up, and his expression fell into embarrassment.
"Fuck- sorry, I didn't hear you come in. How long ‘v you been standing there?"
I laughed lightly and shook my head. "Not long, I just walked in."
A smile painted itself onto his face as he set the pencil down and put his hands in his pockets just far enough that his thumbs still stuck out. "What can i do for ya?" He asked kindly, the toothpick in his mouth moving as he spoke.
"My truck broke down three blocks ago and wouldn't start. I tried looking under the hood to see the problem, but it was smoking, so I pushed it here." I explained, my hands finding each other and clasping together at my front.
He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly. "Jesus, you wheeled it all the way here?" He asked, laughing breathily when I nodded my head in response. "Atta girl. What kind of truck is it?"
"A ford pickup," I responded all too quickly, my voice strained as I tried to ignore how my heart swelled in my chest from the impressed look on his face. He nodded as he opened the drawer next to him and pulled out a ballpoint pen, picking up the notepad once again to start writing. "What year and license plate?"
"85', boston plate, the number is 289 BTO. " I watched as he wrote mindlessly, the handwriting barely coherent.
"'M kay, I'll take a look at it for you." he said, setting the notepad and pen back down on the counter. He opened his palm, gesturing for my keys, and I dropped them into his grasp. He hooked the ring that held them together around his index finger.
"Wait here, should only be a couple minutes."
I nodded as he circled around to the end of the desk, walking past me and pushing open the door to the garage.
His absence gave me a chance to examine the decor of the office space. Family and baby portraits crowded on top of the counter below the window behind the desk. A mickey mouse clock sat above the side door, and a large OPEN sign hung in the window.
The wall was crowded with plates and signs. One that caught my eye was an eagle with its claws digging into a hanging mirror, the name HARLEY DAVIDSON displayed in bright orange letters above the eagle's head. Next to the register was a small bell with a sign that said "ring for service" and the words 'don't actually' were scribbled in sharpie above.
Just when I was getting lost in thought, I heard the door bells jingle a second time, and Chris walked back in. The rag was now hanging loosely in his palm as he approached the counter. He stood right next to me, reaching over for the notepad and throwing the rag back over his now bare shoulder, which is when I realized he had discarded his button up. My eyes dart down to see the keys to my truck now hanging on a different belt loop on his jeans.
"From what I can see," he starts, popping the cap of the pen off and leaving it in between his teeth as he spoke. "It looks like a coolant leak. The combination from the antifreeze leaking and the heat of the engine is enough to make it smoke, but it's not enough to cause the engine freeze up." he explains, his eyes meeting mine every couple of words to make sure i understand. "So, it could also be a fuel pump problem combined with the leak."
I nodded, chewing my lip nervously as he went on to explain the time the repair would take as well as the cost. When the words, "not finished until at least tomorrow" left his lips, I huffed in defeat, and tried to make my disappointment less evident as i crossed my arms in front of my chest.
"How long have you had it?" He asked, now leaning against the counter next to us with one elbow, crossing one foot over the other.
"I've only started to work on it this summer, but it's been my dads since before i was born."
He nodded. "It's a pretty ride," he confessed. "I honestly expected it to look worse when you said 85', but the conditions not bad. You been workin' on it a lot?"
"As much as I can." I shrugged.
He complimented the paint job, to which i confessed i'd done it, and he gushed. "Christ, you should work here. Matt can't paint to save his life. You could probably get him out of a job,"
Matt sent a glare his way. "Shut up, kid. Dad would fire you over me any day, especially if you keep sleeping in."
Chris laughed, a genuine sound that made Matt's glare turn into a small smile before he went back to rifling through the file cabinet.
He turned back to me, pausing to look back over the notes he'd written down. "If i had to guess, I'd say we can probably have it to you by tomorrow evening." he said, looking away from the paper and averting his gaze to instead look me right in the eye. "That work for you?"
I nodded slowly. Suddenly, the issue of a ride home became extremely apparent, and an anxious feeling started to blossom in my chest.
"Good. Just one more thing. . ." he pauses to take the pen cap out of his mouth and place it back on the pen, tapping it against the curve of his hand and grinning wildly at me.
"i'm gonna need your number to let you know when its finished."
He's just asking because he's supposed to; because he literally has to in order for me to get my car back. But regardless, i felt heat rise to my cheeks as i started shifting uncomfortably in place.
"Right," I said, moving to reach for the pen. He points to a blank part of the notepad, tapping lightly to tell me where to write it.
Quickly and shakily, i write out the numbers with dashes. I hand it back to him, and a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. He rips the sheet off the notepad in one swift motion and folds it in half, placing it in his back pocket.
He glances towards the clock. Its nearing seven. He turns back to me, "d'you have a ride home?"
My eyes went wide. I'm reminded of my attempt to call my dad three times when the truck initially broke down, and how my shoulders slumped in defeat at the sound of his voicemail playing repeatedly.
I glance back over to him, ". . . Not exactly. I'll probably just catch the bu-"
"I can drive you,"
I swallowed, my lips slightly parted in surprise. His grin was still wide, awaiting my response.
It was a sweet offer, really. But considering my house was across town, partnered with the fact that he was literally on the job, i shook my head. "That's really sweet, thank you, but I'm far. And you're working, anyway." He shrugs, glancing at the clock once more. "It's fine, Matt's on desk duty and he's closing tonight. I don't mind."
I chew my lip. I'd be stupid to pass up on a ride, but i barely know this kid, and if my dad sees me rolling up with him and no truck, it wouldn't look great.
And then I think about the hour long bus ride that would be in the near future if I declined.
I screw my eyes shut. "You know what? Why not."
Despite the scenario i was in, my mind was pushing out any and all nerves as I watched Chris collect his things from behind the desk. He pulled his wallet, shop keys and jacket out of a cubby.
The two of us walked back into the garage and over to Matt, who was washing his hands in a sink bellow the tool shelves.
Chris bid goodbye to his brother, who looked at the clock and then frowned, turning the faucet off and reaching for the roll of papers towels.
"You're seriously slacking off? I already covered for you and Nate leaving early last weekend." He complained, discarding the wad of paper towels he'd used to dry his hands into the trash bin below.
Chris shot him a look. "And then i covered your sunday morning shift because you were hungover. You owe me."
Matt rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just put your tools away when you open tomorrow. It drives me fucking insane when you leave them everywhere."
Chris salutes. "Roger that." He turned to me and winked, gesturing to follow him through the garage with a tilt of his head.
I followed behind him as he went out a different exit; this one leading to a parking lot on the back of the building. A large EMPLOYEE PARKING sign hung on the fence near the driveway.
He fiddled with the many keys on his carabiner before finally finding his and walking towards a car near the opening in the gate.
A blue, four-seater, convertible 65' mustang. The light from the setting sun literally reflected off of it. He mindlessly stuck the key into the passenger side door, twisting and pulling it open with a faint click.
He gestured his hand towards the seat playfully, "Ladies first."
I rolled my eyes, placing one foot on the floor of the car and ducking my head to sit down. "How gentlemanly of you,"
He grinned at me, closing the door and walking around the back of the car before popping into the driver's seat.
"This is.. wow." I mutter, admiring the small details and cleanliness of the car as he closed his door and threw his belongings in the back. "Jesus, this is yours?"
He smiled proudly, his tongue darting out to dampen his bottom lip. "All mine,"
His fingers twisted the key into the ignition and the roar of the engine made the car buzz against my feet. He rolled both of our windows down, the summer air blowing smoothly through the car.
His smile was wider and prouder than ever as he glanced into the rear view mirror, throwing an arm over the back of my seat to glance behind him as he reversed. We pulled out of the parking lot and turned left onto the main road, Chris letting the steering wheel slide back into place under his palm by itself once he'd done so.
"You said you were far," he mumbled. "What area are you in?"
The question pulled me back into reality. I'd gotten so distracted by the way he drove so carelessly, like he was completely relaxed and in control of everything movement the car made, like fear didn't even exist to him as he pressed harder onto the gas pedal with his foot, my eyes choosing to ignore the way the tic on the speed meter start to spike.
His jawline was illuminated in the dim light, and the toothpick that was still resting on his lips stayed moving as he spoke gently, waiting patiently for me to answer.
I started giving him directions, and he listened carefully and intently, glancing over to look at me to make sure he understood my instructions. Once we were on the freeway, he went even faster, lane switching if someone in front of him wasn't going as fast as he'd like them to.
Soft giggles left me as he did, basking in the view of his lips parted into a smile, showcasing pearly teeth between pink lips.
Once he pulled onto the off ramp and we were stopped at a red light, he turned to look at me again, the bright red turning the car a faint shade of crimson.
"What time do you need to be back?"
He asked with a tone of voice he hadn't used till now. The sudden lowness caught me off guard as I shrugged, "'Dunno, not for a while."
He hummed in acknowledgement. "You wanna stay on the road for a bit?"
I pull my knees up to my chest and let my head fall against the headrest, a careless smile on my face. "Definitely."
And we did; we ended up back on the highway pretty quickly, blasting music through a speaker Chris had propped against the dashboard.
His speed only got higher and higher as time went on, carelessly resting one hand on the wheel whilst the other gripped the gear shift. At some point, his hand had mindlessly traveled to rest on my upper bare thigh below the hem of my shorts, cold and partially ringed fingers pressing against my skin.
"Will you do me a favor?"
I raised my eyebrows and hummed in response. He gestured towards the glove box. "Theres a pack of camel blue 99s in the glove box, would you grab em for me?"
I bit my lip. "Depends, you sharing?"
"Duh."
I leaned forward, feeling my stomach flip when his hand didn't much as move an inch on my thigh, brushing against my lower stomach as I lurched forward to fiddle with the glovebox.
I propped it open and grabbed the pack and paused, "d'you have a light?"
He nodded. "Should be one in there."
I learned more forward and reached farther back, glancing around before locking my eyes on a silver flip top lighter and grabbing it. Once i lean back up, Chris is pulling into an empty lot. His hand leaves my leg to push the gear into park, and i try not to frown.
I flick the top of the cig carton open and hastily pull one out, dropping it into Chris's palm.
He places it hazardly between his lips and turns to face me, silently asking for me to light it.
I pop the lid of the zippo open and hold the flam to the end of his cig, waiting to pull away until his expression signifies that its lit enough. His expression relaxes as he breathes in before pulling it away from his mouth with two fingers and exhaling, the smoke filling the car.
"If I'm honest, I prefer marlboro reds." I say quietly in an attempt to break the silence, watching Chris flick the ash out the window lazily with his thumb and index finger. He shakes his head. "Camels are undeniably better."
I laugh lightly and raise my eyebrows in amusement. "No accounting for taste, I suppose."
He takes another drag before holding it in between his fingers in front of my face, and Instead of reaching for it, I place my lips around the filter while it's still in his hand. Our eyes lock while I breath in sharper, the cool feel of the smoke filling my chest.
He licks his lips, and for a moment, his eyes dart down to look at mine, and he's starts he's studying my face. I'm doing the same.
His eyes are bright blue, surrounded by thick lashes, which are barely visible with stray pieces of his hair hanging down below the bandana on his head. Freckles lightly paint his noise, and his pink lips are slightly parted as his eyes scan my face.
"I like your piercing," he finally says, pressing his one hand to his eyebrow as if he had one himself. I breathe out the smoke i'd been holding in my lungs and smile at him. He's still looking at it as he speaks again, "Did it hurt?"
I shrug. "Not really," Because it didn't, but also because I'd feel like an idiot saying it did. "Just a pinch."
He nodded slowly. "Hm."
I take another hit from the cig which he's still holding up to my lips. Our faces are closer now. One of my elbows is resting on the center console as I look at him through my lashes.
"You should get one." I say.
He laughs, breathy and genuine. "Yeah? You think so?"
"Mhm," i reach my hand up to graze above his eye with two fingers. "It would look good on you." He watches my movements. "We'd match, too."
He digs his teeth into his bottom lip, finally moving the cig back to his own lips and taking one more long drag before carelessly discarding it out the window.
All too quick, he's facing me again, and he leans even closer. I can feel the warmth of his breath on my face. My heart is thumping loudly in my chest, and a part of me thinks he can hear it.
Before I can even blink, he places his fingers on my chin and tilts his head, smashing his lips against mine hard.
Its all teeth at first, clashing messily as his hand leaves my chin and rests as the base of my neck. My hands are on his face, my fingers messing with the curls at the back of his neck while he grins against my lips.
He lightly bites my bottom lip, taking the opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth. He tastes like cherry and camels, and I feel myself whimpering at the contact.
"Fuck," he mumbles into my mouth, and his tone is exasperated, partly because the console between us is making it harder for him to kiss me like he wants to, and partly because his attempts to pull me close enough for our chests to press together have been unsuccessful.
His hands reach down to tug at the belt loops of my shorts, trying to pull me onto his lap. I pull away for a second to push myself over the console, Chris's grip on my hips staying firm to assist me. I duck to avoid hitting my head on the roof of the car, and Chris giggles lowly.
I finally relax once I'm comfortable in his lap, straddling his legs below me. One of his hands is across my lower half, sliding his hand into my back pocket, and the other rests in the middle of my back, holding me in place.
We're kissing again, and this time it's more lips and tongue then teeth, but he's still lightly tugging at my lip.
I'm tugging at his hair as I push myself closer to his lower abdomen, pressing down, which elicits a groan from him. He pulls away from me, and I try to follow his lips with a whine, but he tugs at the back of my hair lightly so he can press kisses from my jaw down to my neck.
I'm already whimpering as soon as his teeth press against my throat, and he digs them deep, kissing the mark once he's satisfied with the shade of purple its turned before finding a different spot to do the same thing.
"Chris, fuck- please."
I can feel him below me, and it's making me crazy. He doesn't budge, even as I continue to whine breathlessly at him.
He only grins as he continues to nip at my skin, and i felt the smirk on his face against my throat. I tangle my fingers in his hair and tug as a silent plea. "What s' it, baby?"
Baby.
I practically keen at the nickname. He finally pulls away, a string of saliva connecting his lips to his previous spot on my neck. He grins proudly at the marks he's left before looking at me again.
"What d'you want?" his tone is cocky and assertive. His lips look red and bitten, and I start to feel embarrassed at the fact that we were sucking face so lewdly in a literal parking lot.
I want to squirm and writhe away under his gaze, but his knuckle tight grip on me won't let me. I fiddle with the neck of his shirt and avoid looking at him as i whisper, "I need you."
He grins madly. "How d'you need me, sweetheart?"
I lean forward and press my lips back against his, and he entertains for a little before tugging my hair lightly to pull me back. His fingers grip my chin, holding me in place to look at him.
"Tell me what you want."
I brush my hand against his belt buckle. "I wanna suck you off,"
It came out in a mumble, but he understood, nodding somewhat cockily with a shit-eating grin on his lips. A groan left him as he tugged me even closer so our chests were pressed together. "Yeah?"
I nod eagerly, another 'please' ready to escape my mouth as my impatience grows. He ducks his hand between the seat and the door to push it farther back, "On your knees, then."
I obliged immediately, sliding off his lap to rest on my knees below him. My elbows rest on either side of his legs as my hands flew to his belt, unbuckling it and tugging at his jeans and boxers.
He lifted his hips lightly to assist me. I pulled them down until they rested around his ankles, and I feel myself gawk.
He's big. Bigger then I expected.
A nervous feeling bubbles in the pit of my stomach, but the way he's looking down at me through hazy vision makes it vanish even quicker, and I wrap my hands around his length.
"You okay?" He asks, moving his hand to rest on my cheek, his thumb soothingly pressed on my temple.
"No- yeah, i'm good." I breathe. I hover myself over him, finally taking him into my mouth. A string of curses leave him in a hushed breath, and his head moves to rest at the back of my head to coax me farther down.
I pull back slightly, wrapping my lips around his tip and sucking lightly. His chest is rising and falling quickly above me, and his labored breathing is music to my ears.
His cock is heavy on my tongue, and its addicting. I take him farther down my throat, hollowing my cheeks to fit as much of him as i can while my hand is in a fist around his base. I bob my head and twist my hand, looking up at him to see his flushed face as he pants.
"Fuck, you look so pretty like this." He babbles, a throaty moan leaving him when I twist my hand faster, swirling my tongue along his cock as my head rises and falls.
I hum around his dick at the compliment, the slight sting on my scalp from him pulling my hair only pushing me to do more. He pushes me down slightly, and i choke at the burn of his tip making contact with my uvula.
I moan loudly on him at the feeling, tears building in my eyes as the vibration from the noises i'm making cause him to throw his head back, a blissed out expression on his face. "Fuck, so good. Just like that, god."
Drool seeps from the corners of my mouth as I speed up all my movements. Chris is a breathy, moaning mess above me, watching me through lidded eyes as I glance up at him.
He moves his other hand to rest on the side of my face, grinning at my fucked out appearance. "Fucking filthy girl, aren't you, baby." He says through gritted teeth. "You love this, don't you?"
I whine at him, furrowing my eyebrows in pleasure to say "yes', and watching as his eyes roll lightly back in his head when i start to suck lightly at his tip again.
My hand falls from his base to lay on his leg, the other holding the bottom of his shirt in my fist. I try to push my head farther down, whimpering faintly at the stretch.
Chris's hips jerk up lightly at the sensation, causing him to push himself down my throat until my lips hit the base. I start to choke, but I breathe heavily through my nose, screwing my eyes shut and hallowing my cheeks out to stop myself from pulling off.
"Fuck!" he grunts loudly, his grip on my hair turning animalistic. He mindlessly mutters out curses and praise as he pushes my head up and down with his hands, 'good girl', 'don't stop', 'takin' me so good, baby' 'just like that' . . .
My hands are resting completely at his sides as he guides my mouth on his cock, slightly bucking his hips to push himself as far as I can take him. His strokes turn sloppy, and I look up at him again to see him looking at me with a broken glance, bottom lip between his teeth. "Fuck, gonna cum," he gasps.
I begin to swirl my tongue around him, moaning messily on him as if to say, 'in my mouth, please', but he's already reading my mind, digging his nails into my scalp as he spurts coats of white down my throat, an incoherent string of "fuck fuck fuck"'s spilling out of him. Im swallowing as quickly as i can.
I pull off of him with a lewd pop, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. I know i look completely ruined, but I'm still focused on catching my breath and looking at Chris's flushed pink face above me.
His hand rests on my face again, and his thumb soothingly rubs my cheek. "You okay? Was that too much?" he asks, his expression full of concern as he wipes the tears from under my eyes.
I smile, leaning into his touch. "I'm good, it was really good."
He nods, smiling dumbly. "Good."
He pulls his jeans and boxers back up, bucking his belt before pulling me off my knees and back onto his lap. He presses a soft, passionate kiss on my lips, and then trails kisses down the side of my face, pulling my hair back off my shoulders as we both catch our breath.
We're both startled by the loud ringing of my phone in the passenger seat. I reach over the console, sighing in relief when i flip it over and see my dad's name at the top of my screen.
I put the phone up to my ear, watching as Chris rubs circles into my side with his cold fingers.
"Hi," I breath out. I listen as my dad apologizes for not answering earlier. He tells me he heard my voicemail and asks if I'm okay. "M' fine, I just wheeled it to a shop a couple blocks over. I'm on the bus home now, should only be a bit."
Chris pouts at me, and i roll my eyes at him. My dad talks for a couple for seconds before hanging up, and i leave my phone in the drink compartment next to Chris's forgotten lighter.
"D'you need to get home?" He asked. I nodded, and he frowns. "I was gonna get you off in the backseat,"
part two? :)
thank you for reading! reblogs are DEEPLY appreciated. I hope you enjoyed. links below !
about me ! masterlists ! guidelines / info !
#Spotify#sturniolos#sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#the sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#mechanics are sexy#smoker chris#jellyfishbug 🌺
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stray kids : calling them pretty !
content. stray kids ot8, gn!reader, complimenting, idol and non idol!skz, lots of dialog, insecure bangchan, confident hyunjin & seungmin, sillies — fluff.
warning. none
wordcount. 1,6k ( got carried away a little bit )
a/n. sorry, i had brainrot !!
bang chan ( 방찬 )
"you're pretty"
"now you're just being silly."
"i mean it!"
chan looked back at you, unimpressed. his brow looked unamused and so did his mouth. he did not buy it.
"chan i promise you. you're a very pretty guy."
he shook his head and you could feel your heart break to pieces. no matter how many times you complimented him, whatever the words you chose, chan would not believe you.
"that's not a word i'd use to describe myself" he laughed dryly "i mean, have you seen me?"
enough. you got up and walked towards him. that got his attention. chan turned his face away from his computer to look to your side and you grabbed his face with both hands. shocked, his eye grew a little bigger.
"chan" your voice quivered "you have to believe me. you ARE pretty. always have been. it pains me to hear you deny it over and over again." his lower lip trembled "whatever it is that makes you believe you don't deserve to hear that word being uttered about yourself, forget it!"
he swallowed and his eyes watered.
"okay" he said after a while "alright. i-" he sighed, looked somewhere else then closed his eyes "i can't really- i don't-" another sigh "for you, i'll try."
lee know ( 리노 )
this time, after ten minutes spent trying, your facetime call went through.
"well fucking finally minho! why are you-" on your screen, your boyfriend's face appeared. he was getting makeup, a small brush softly highlighting his nose bridge "oh... you're pretty."
minho laughed gently.
"what is it that you want y/n? why'd you even call me seventeen times? can't you tell i'm busy?"
he tried to use that annoyed tone he usually threw your way when you were being clingy. but you could tell he was blushing, something that didn't happen often enough if you had to be honest.
"well damn, calm down with the questions. can't someone want to talk to their pretty boyfriend?"
another laugh, a shy one this time.
"okay, stop that"
"stop what? calling you pretty? well that's what you are. pretty pretty pretty!"
"alright i'm hanging up"
"MINHO NO WAIT."
you had to call him eight more times for him to pick up a second time.
changbin ( 창빈 )
"can you compliment me some more?"
you had just spent the last fifteen minutes telling changbin about how perfect of a man he was. and there he was asking for more? there were only so many compliments in the world. so much so that you had to think about what to say in order to not repeat yourself.
handsome you had used. super witty you went on and on about without forgetting about complimenting his dedication to living a healthy lifestyle and promoting kindness.
but then, it dawned on you. you knew just what to say.
"you're pretty."
changbin furrowed his brows.
"huh?"
"you're pretty" you repeated. "like, you're actually so pretty."
a tentative smile stretched changbin's lips.
"are you sure?" he was shy. changbin brought his hand to the back of his neck and tickled it gently—as if it was the first time anyone ever used the word 'pretty' to describe him.
"i am" you said without hesitation "you are super pretty, changbin. you've got pretty eyes and a pretty nose and pretty lips and pretty cheeks and and and..."
changbin laughed that silly high pitched laugh of his.
"you've got a pretty face overall."
"that's the first time i heard of it." he finally said, too shy to ask for any more compliments.
you mentally took note: in order to shut my changbin up, call him pretty.
hyunjin ( 현진 )
"what did you think the first time you saw me?"
you looked up from your book to lock eyes with his. that came out of nowhere. tilting your head to the side, you furrowed your brows.
"what do you mean?"
"like" hyunjin looked to the left, pondering how to word his question better "what was your first impression? when we first met, what did you think of me?"
"oh." you went back to your book "he's pretty."
hyunjin coughed.
"that's it?"
"did you expect me to think you were hot or cool or whatever? the first time we met you were drenched in soda and asked me for napkins, not very cool nor hot. but you were very pretty, the prettiest man i had ever seen."
a gentle smile stretched his full lips.
"do you mean that or are you being funny?"
you looked at him again, shocked. after marking the page you were at, you closed your book.
"no what do YOU mean? don't play with me hyunjin. you DO know that you're pretty, right?"
he brought his hand to his mouth but, before he could hide it, you saw his slight smirk.
"i mean..." he started.
"oh come on!"
"no like" hyunjin giggled "i'm aware it's just, i didn't think you'd think that of me. pretty? is that really the impression i gave you?"
"well cut me some slack here! you're a crazily pretty man. sometimes i just look at you for fun. for FUN, hyunjin! i am ENTERTAINED, i am having a GREAT TIME looking at your pretty face."
"okay now you don't have to be dramatic about it"
hyunjin was blushing crazily for someone so confident.
han ( 한 )
he was painting his nails and a look of concentration had him furrow his brow and push the tip of his tongue out of his mouth. han wanted to draw stars on each and every single one of his nails and you admired his dedication to the task.
the room smelled of both nail polish and nail polish remover. the coffee table was littered with cotton pads and q-tips drenched in acetone. the smell had your eyes water but you couldn't leave.
han was just so pretty. and you had to tell him.
"hey" you started.
"busy" jisung replied "can't mess up again."
you heard him but, it had to be said.
"you're so pretty right now."
it took him a while, maybe three or five seconds before the words registered. once he pieced it together, he looked up at you.
"huh?"
"i said, you're pretty"
"no i heard you" he started "it's just... really?"
han kept his brush above his fingers so long a droplet of pink polish splashed on his nail, ruining the design, but you didn't have the heart to point it out yet.
"yeah? you're a very pretty guy, jisung. like, your eyes for starters, insanely pretty"
he gave you a shy smile as his cheeks turned pink. you could tell he was trying to tone down his reaction from the way his leg started bouncing.
"no... you're the pretty one." he finally said.
jisung looked down at his nail and shrieked. he was going to have start over, AGAIN.
felix ( 필릭스 )
"you're so pretty"
you weren't expecting to say that out loud but could anyone even blame you? the sun was hitting felix's face in a way that enhanced his freckles along with the gold of his skin. his long eyelashes tickled the skin under his eyes and the bitten red of his mouth made him look ethereal.
felix was, objectively, a very pretty boy.
his eyes fluttered open and your cheeks blushed pink. felix noticed and a playful smile stretched his mouth.
"d'you mean that?" he asked, his voice low and gentle.
you weren't exactly boyfriend and partner yet. you weren't anything really. something in between, something blurry but neither of you dared saying or doing anything about it. you were content with this in-between, for now.
"i do" you started and he brought a hand to your cheek, letting his thumb gently stroke your skin "you're very pretty, felix"
his smile got bigger.
"thanks" he said "you're super pretty yourself."
you swore your heart leapt out of your chest.
seungmin ( 승민 )
"has anyone told you that you were pretty before?"
"plenty of times actually, y/n."
seungmin smiled playfully and you watched him, deadpan.
"i mean," he started "i get it. don't you?"
he giggled and you could only scoff. can't someone compliment their boyfriend and have him react normally in this economy?
"alright mister pretty boy. i guess you've heard it so much it got to your head."
another laugh, a bright one this time and you could not contain your own smile anymore. seungmin had this way of brightening every room he walked in. he always managed to have you in the best mood and make you forget all of your worries.
"oh no y/n... i beg, compliment me again. i only care when it's you that calls me pretty."
it was your turn to act. pretending to be unimpressed, you looked away.
"well. i better be!"
seungmin giggled again. and so did you.
i.n ( 아이엔 )
shopping with jeongin always took hours. you were used to it at this point, but still. your feet were killing you and you had spent far more money than you had planned to.
your boyfriend had a way with compliments afterall. whatever you tried on, he loved and managed to make you love too so, purchased they were!
"how about this one?"
the fitting room's curtain quickly opened and you were met with yet another huge-pair-of-pants-and-oversized-shirt outfit. it was crazy the way jeongin managed to make them work every time.
"pretty" you said "you're pretty."
he smiled and his eyes crinkled.
"pretty?"
"mh mh" you nodded "you look super pretty. you always do but especially right now. crazily pretty, insanely pretty, gorgeously pretty. extremely pretty even. have you considered-"
jeongin cut you off, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. he giggled against your mouth as you kissed back, sending happy shivers down your back.
"okay i think i get it." he said "you're perfectly pretty too"
with that, the curtain closed again.
taglist. after being absent for a long while, i'll make a new taglist instead of using the old one so let me know if you would like to be added / removed.
#🐈⬛ sol writes#stray kids#stray kids imagines#stray kids headcanons#stray kids drabbles#stray kids reactions#skz#skz imagines#skz x reader#skz headcanons#stray kids x reader#stray kids x y/n#stray kids fics#skz fics#skz bang chan#skz leeknow#skz felix#skz changbin#skz hyunjin#skz han#skz seungmin#skz i.n#skz fluff#stray kids scenarios#stray kids ot8#kpop#kpop reactions#kpop drabbles#kpop fics#kpop imagines
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RECOVERY
I spent a lot of my life depressed without admitting it to myself and then i spent a year so depressed i could hardly make myself do the bare minimum to keep my body alive, and now it's about 3 years since i got up from that lowest point and while i am still struggling with myself things are objectively a lot better.
and i just want to put a couple things i've learned, both to remind myself of how far i've come, and in case any of what i've experienced helps anyone else.
You can't run from the darkness
When you're super depressed it's easy to focus on how much you don't want to be depressed. When everything is darkness you tend to wish you could escape that darkness.
but you can't. The darkness is all around you. You can't run away from it without running deeper into it.
instead, follow the light.
don't think of it as escaping depression, think of it as seeking joy. Don't run away from the darkness, walk toward any lights you can see.
At first it will be very small things. The taste of a food. The way your favorite color looks. A smell you like. For me one of the first things i could find to remind me of joy was the way a warm shower feels.
I would just stand in the shower and lean into the tiny, tiny joy of that feeling. I would describe it to myself, how it felt good, what about it felt good. It didn't cure me, it didn't make me less depressed, but it was a little point of joy to focus on, to breathe into like a tiny candle flame in my darkness.
I would memorize that feeling, so that later, when i felt like nothing ever brought me joy anymore, i could think, no, that's your depression lying to you, you felt joy, however small, right there in the shower just yesterday. And, maybe there is more somewhere else.
Even today, it's been a hard week, i'm feeling a lot of hopeless and helpless feelings clamoring away at me, but... i have spicy soup. And spicy soup is a NEW joy. I found spicy soup joy as i was following any little light i could out of the deepest part of my depression.
I never put hot sauce in soup before then. But today i am drinking the broth of a very spicy soup and as much as everything else is complicated and difficult and scary and dark, there is a bright mote of joy in this sip of spicy soup. And in the next one. And the next. I enjoy it, i love it, all the more that it is new, and if i had given up four years ago, i never would have known this small joy, this new favorite tiny thing.
Who knows what other little joys i may find?
If you have come to a place in life where you have lost the knowledge of how to feel joy, it is important to remember that feeling joy is like anything else in life. The more you practice, the better you get, the more of it you can do at higher levels.
And there are only so many minutes in the day. The more of them you spend acknowledging what feels good, the less of them will be left for feeling bad.
you can't escape the darkness by fleeing from it, but you can find the light by moving toward it.
Chop Wood Fetch Water
Another thing i learned was a truth about the exercise advice you always hear.
For where i am in my recovery now, common exercise has very little impact. I don't really get the endorphins people talk about, and i don't tend to feel better about myself after i work out unless i already feel pretty okay about myself to begin with. i don't mean to say there is no point in me exercising, but, i walk about ten miles a day holding onto 8 energetic dogs and i do a fair amount of lifting and bending and stuff for my job, and it's fine but it's not, like, doing a whole lot for me at this point in my recovery (tho i do think more recreational exercise will come back into play a stage or two on in my healing process)
HOWEVER
There was a year there where i was only getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. When i was only able to force myself to eat just enough each day to stay alive because i'd made a promise to myself, and that promise was almost all i had left.
and the right kind of exercise is what pulled me out of that.
the RIGHT kind.
See, someone close to me needed help with a physical job. That was an important part and why this method is known historically as some variation of Chop Wood Carry Water -- it's intensely physical, which is important, but also, it helps the people around you. These days our personal communities tend to not need wood copped and water carried the same way. But you can get the same effect helping someone move all their furniture, doing all the yard work for your friends and/or family, volunteering for a charity that builds housing for homeless people, SOMEthing physically taxing that helps people.
In my case, my aging father needed help re-shingling the roof. So i promised i'd help.
So i got up every morning because he was expecting me. And i climbed the ladder because he would see me if i didn't. And i lifted and carried and hammered and worked hard. It took a week of six to eight hour days.
Right away, the fact that it was helping someone else made it not matter so much that it didn't feel like it was helping me at first. I couldn't deny that i was doing something good, that my existence had positive meaning, however small.
But very soon, it changed something fundamental in my state of depression. You can't do physical labor in the sun 7 hours a day without drinking a bunch of water. Without working up an appetite. Without getting very tired at the end of the day.
See, i had been struggling to make myself drink enough water, i was fighting to make myself eat even one small meal's worth of food each day, and i couldn't get a good night's sleep to save my life. And these things all made my depression much much worse. You think you get sad or angry from skipping a meal, consider being chronically undernourished. You think your mental state is worse after pulling an all nighter, think about what never getting a good night's sleep does.
But a couple days into this job with my father, and suddenly i was hydrated, i was eating full meals, and i was sleeping soundly at night.
THAT is what pulled me out of that deepest part of my depression.
So in a way, it was exercise that saved me. But not how people often say "have you tried exercising?" More like pushing myself physically to the point that my body demanded the things that previously i couldn't get it to want for itself.
Instead of forcing myself to eat i was craving food. Instead of staying up to all hours and then tossing and turning, i was physically exhausted and slept early and hard. (and, weirdly, being physically exhausted was somehow a relief from being emotionally/mentally exhausted)
Lastly
Healing often isn't noticeable while you're doing it
"healing is a process" is something you hear a lot, but i think it's more helpful to say something like
"Healing is like growing your hair out from short to long. You can look in the mirror every day and not notice it happening. And even when you can tell for sure it's longer than it was, you still can't really do anything with it, and it may seem pointless. But then one day you can tie it back in a ponytail and you realize how much it's grown and how many options are open to you now and you're really glad you stuck with it"
Now excuse me while i go meditate on the joys of my remaining spicy soup.
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。𖦹°‧⭑ monsters: chapter ten
synopsis: batman comes for a visit. and phosphorus makes a rather "heartfelt" confession.
cw: reader is a monster, mature themes, violence, profanity, innuendos, phosphorus is phosphorus
a/n: anon... this is for you ;) you know who u are
One month later.
"Let me get this straight... you want to stay here in Belle Reve?"
"Yes."
"And you don't want to go back to Arkham?"
"Nope."
Taking in a deep inhale, Batman let out a long exhale through his nose.
"I don't suppose this has something to do with Alexander Sartorius?"
"Whaaaaat? What makes you say that?"
His brows flattened, and you realized his gaze wasn't on you, but rather on something outside of the window behind you.
Warily, you turned around, only to see Phosphorus fighting against a swarm of guards trying to detain him.
"You're not taking her back to Arkham, Batman!" he exclaimed, using his head to bang against the glass since his hands were cuffed behind his back. "I'll burn this whole place down!"
Your eyes shot wide.
"Don't say that, you idiot! They'll add to your time!"
"I don't think a few extra years is doing much to his triple life-sentence..." Batman assured in a monotone.
You could practically hear the judgement in his voice, its presence distinguishable from a mile away.
With a sigh, you turned around, leaning back in your chair and crossing your arms over your chest.
"Alright... maybe it does have something to do with him... so what?"
"He's psychotic."
"It wasn't too long ago that the shrinks at Arkham thought I was psychotic."
"Demonic possession is not recognized by any court in this country. It was either that or be declared as legally insane. And if that were to have happened, they would've—"
"Locked me up and threw away the key? Believe me, I know."
With a huff, you slumped slightly in your chair, your gaze falling to the floor, before slowly gliding up to him.
"He's charming."
"Most psychopaths are."
"Do you think I would be anywhere near him if I thought he was a threat to me?"
"Love can make sane people do irrational things, (y/n). I've seen it before, and I've seen the road it leads to."
"I am not Harley Quinn."
"And he's not Joker?"
"This seems very hypocritical considering you-know-who..."
At the mention of Selina, Batman cleared his throat, quickly shifting the conversation by sliding a manila folder across the table.
"This is not what I came here to talk about."
Glancing at the file, your eyes quickly landed on the JL insignia printed boldly on the cover.
"...You're joking."
"I think you would be a good addition to our ranks."
"You gonna open a Belle Reve chapter of the Justice League? Start recruiting inmates?"
"You're not an inmate. You haven't committed a crime."
"I've murdered and cannibalized hundreds of men, women, and children."
"That wasn't your crime."
"Oh, yes, civilian! Let me save you from this burning building! Oh, no! I bit your arm off. Try again next week?"
"According to your psych evaluation, the demon has repressed herself with no signs of returning in the near future."
"Mahalat may be docile now, but I can't promise that when the stakes get high, she won't return to her old ways," you stated, seriously. "I may have placated her into not eating everything in sight, but that doesn't mean she won't eat period. And with the Justice League's no-kill motto, I'm sure I'd be nothing but a social pariah."
"You shouldn't have to spend your life behind bars because of the mistakes your parents made."
Slowly, a small smile cracked onto your lips, heart warmed by the hero's declaration.
Batman had always been so kind to you, no matter how frightening or menacing you could be.
He made it a point to make sure you were well-taken care of, covering everything from your legal fees to your original, self-admitted stay at Arkham.
He was a gentleman—with nothing but your best interests in mind—and the kindest person you had ever met.
"I'm a danger to the public, Bats... And myself," you started, softly, resting a careful, reddened hand over his gloved one. "If staying in here means I don't harm another innocent person, then I'll do it, no questions asked."
Expression firming, you stood from your seat.
"But I'm no hero."
Memories flashed behind your eyes, images of dead bodies, half-eaten limbs, screaming children.
You were far from innocent in this whole endeavor.
"The people I've hurt... the lives I've taken... that can't be redeemed by saving cats from tress..." you stated, seriously. "Each and every one of them deserves justice... and I'll be damned if I get off scot-free."
Unable to catch it, a stray tear rolled down your cheek, forcing Batman to stand up.
"So don't worry about me, alright? I'm sure you've got more important things to be doing than checking up on some—"
Before you could even finish your sentence, you were enveloped in a hug.
A surprisingly warm, surprisingly tender hug.
From Batman.
'No. Way.'
You could hear Phosphorus going absolutely ballistic in the background, shouting something along the lines of "Get your hands off her!" as he beat against the glass.
But you were too taken aback to even notice.
Just as quickly, as he came, Batman pulled away, resting a comforting hand on your shoulder.
"You're a good person, (y/n)... Don't torture yourself with the past."
And with that, he picked up his file and exited the room, enduring a few seconds of beratement from Phosphorus before making it past and continuing on down the hall.
Exiting yourself, you were instantly bombarded with questions by your irradiated lover.
"What did he say? Is he taking you to Arkham? How soon? We have time to make an escape plan? Waller won't let this happen, right?"
"I'm staying here, Alex," you giggled, amused. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Oh, thank, God."
"Alright, lovebirds. Chow hall. Now," one of the guards barked, quickly un-cuffing the man before shoving him toward the entrance to the dining room, allowing you to walk over.
"Why the hell did he give you a hug?" Phosphorus asked, muttering a few curses at the guard under his breath as he rubbed his wrists. "Bastard's known for being a hard-ass, but the moment he comes around you all of a sudden he feels like handing out hugs?"
You chuckled, entertained by his jealousy.
"You're crazy."
"I'm right," he corrected.
"Y'know, I never took you for the possessive type."
"I don't like people touching what's mine."
At that, you stopped in your tracks, raising a brow as you poked a finger in his chest.
"And what about you? You have this my my my, mine mine mine thing going on. But what about me? Are you mine? Or is this ownership a one-way street?"
"'Course I'm yours, doll face," he answered, smoothly, as if it was the simplest thing in the world, sending a ripple of warmth through your stomach. "I thought that was a given."
"Alex, how the hell is that a given?"
"If I say you're mine, it's obvious that the same goes for me to you."
"No. Not obvious at all."
"It's totally obvious!"
"Nope... but now that I know, I wanna hear you say it."
"You wanna hear me say it?"
"Yup."
"And you wanna call me possessive?"
"I can always ask G.I."
"Yeah, good luck getting anything outta him."
"Leaving..."
"I'm yours," he caved, quickly grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you back. "Your guy, your man, I still don't give a shit what you wanna call it."
He let out a quiet sigh, lowering his voice so only you could hear.
"I'm yours. And you get to touch me and hold me and kiss me whenever you like... in exchange for mind-blowing sex."
You grinned, giving him a knowing nudge.
It sounded even better when he said it...
"See? Now was that so hard?"
"On the contrary, I think I felt an artery harden."
"Asshole!"
"You know you love me~"
"Fuck off."
"There she is."
#creature commandos#creature commandos x reader#dc#dc x reader#dcu#dcu x reader#doctor phosphorus#doctor phosphorus x reader#dr phosphorus#dr phosphorus x reader
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Permanent Solution | S.R.
cw: big big warning for suicidal ideation (first person POV so you get some of the full on thought spiraling) typical criminal minds violence (reader gets kidnapped by an unsub and tortured but it doesn’t get too descriptive), extreme angst, Morgan being a dick at first (I love him but he was the only person I could really see for the role he fills in the plot with his tell it like it is vibes) but he gets his redemption in pt 2 i promise
no request for this one i had a real bad day and needed to use my thought spiral in some sort of creative outlet to get myself out of it so i took it out on spencer and reader sorry in advance y'all
"None of us like you."
The words rattled around in my brain as I walked absent-mindedly, my destination already in the back of my mind. I hadn't made this walk in five months. The five months before that had been focused on reducing the number of times I took this path.
First, the goal had been to reduce the number of times I felt compelled to take this particular walk. Walks overall weren't out of the question, and were actually encouraged. Especially walks where I shared the company with someone else. But this specific one was different. It carried a different weight. The initial goal set with my therapist had been to reduce how often I walked this path from nearly every night to no more than two or three times a week, substituting it with a different path through a different and more active part of town. After that, the goal was to move to only walking this path once a week. Then, ideally, none at all.
Ten months. Ten months of twice-weekly therapy sessions down the drain. With five measly words. I started to wonder what Spencer would say if he knew where I was headed, but shook my head free of the thought. He'd be better off in the end, anyways. The wind bit into my cheeks and I tugged the green cardigan that hung loosely off my shoulders so that it was tighter around me, the only protection from the cold that seeped down into my bones. I began to walk faster as I shivered, trying anything I could to warm up my body even just a little bit, and thought back to the encounter from earlier that had caused me to spiral so suddenly and severely.
"—none of us like you," Morgan said to me, cutting me off right as I was attempting to defend my previous decision to turn down the previous drink night invitations in the twelve months since I'd been at the BAU, resulting in Spencer also turning them down and going home with me, instead for the last eleven out of twelve of those months. The expression on his face matched the complete and utter disdain dripping from each and every word. "Not even Hotch, who got you the job in the first place, seems to want you on the team anymore. The only person who ever wants you to be around is Reid, and none of us can figure out why." When he finished I took a look around the table to see everyone else just looking down and avoiding my gaze, including Penelope, who had become somewhat of a sister to me in the past year.
"You—," my voice caught in my throat at that point and I cleared it, trying to sound as steady as I could as I asked, "A-all of you share this sentiment?" Despite strength I had tried to muster to ask that question, my voice only came out thick and wavery, and it was all I could do to keep my lip and lower jaw from trembling. I had tried as hard as possible to overcome myself since starting at the BAU, to believe that the people around me genuinely enjoyed my presence and didn't secretly roll their eyes and sigh in relief when I left the room, but apparently I had failed to make them like me and that's exactly what they felt.
"You'll have to excuse me, please," I gasped as the information presented to me sank in. I then stood, my eyes swimming with tears, and ran from the table they had all situated themselves into at the bar, only to run head on into Spencer, who grabbed my by the shoulders with a soft laugh and gentle smile.
"Easy there, (Y/N)," he chuckled while steadying me. It was only then that he realized something was wrong and his smile was immediately replaced with a concerned frown. "Hey, what's wrong, angel?" I shook my head, shook free of his grasp, and kept making for the door, my head slowing down a bit as I finally was able to take in a breath of fresh air as I made it outside.
Spencer hastily followed after me, right at my heels. "(Y/N)! (Y/N), wait!" He called after me, pushing his way through the crowd and finally out the door as well before wrapping me tightly in his arms. "Hey, now, what's wrong, love?" He cooed as he pressed my head into his chest and wrapped his cardigan around my shoulders when he felt me tremble.
I hesitated, debating what to say to him. I could either tell him the truth and earn the further ire of our colleagues by snitching or I could do what I do best: blow every thing up so there would be nobody else to blame but myself. I opted for the latter.
With a deep, shuddering breath, I finally managed to force the words from my throat. Each one stabbed into my chest with the force of a dull butter knife. "I— th-this—," I stumbled, "th-this isn't working, Spencer." My voice was barely above a whisper by the end when I finally met his eyes, which quickly filled with tears at hearing my words.
"Wh-what?" The word came out as nothing more than a breath but within it I swear I could hear the crack in his chest that echoed the one in my own. "Why— wh-what— I don't— where is this coming from?"
"I'm sorry," I said through soft sobs before I turned and ran off, leaving him standing on the sidewalk with tears slowly beginning to fall down his cheeks.
I had broken his heart, ensuring that he, too, would hate me. That was the plan. I had to push him away and make him hate me as much as the rest of them so that it would hurt him less when they found me. I made the last turn and found myself at my destination - the 11th Street bridge.
Spencer stood on the sidewalk, staring after her long after she had disappeared around the corner up ahead. He ran through the events of the past hour, trying to figure out what he could have done.
"You can go without me, Spencer," she protested as he tried to convince her to go out for drink night with the rest of the team.
"Please come with me? It will be fun, I promise!" It was a strange reversal for him to be the one trying to coax someone else into going out. Usually it was Morgan trying to convince him to go out (Garcia had literally forced him to go out with her after a particularly rough case or two), but now he decided to pay it forward to get his girlfriend to come out with their team and have some much needed fun. "What's the worst that could happen?"
"What if they don't actually want me there?" She asked, her voice small and timid.
"That's ridiculous! Why wouldn't they want you there? You're amazing," he smiled at her, starting to pepper her face with kisses in an attempt to cheer her up. She giggled quietly, not really trying as she made to push him away. He continued his assault, kissing her cheeks, forehead, nose, and lips, over and over with light pecks. When she finally acquiesced, he was giddy with excitement and felt a swell of pride in his chest at the progress she had made since they met.
As they stepped out of his car he grabbed her hand and saw her face twist with anxiety. He gave her hand a soft, reassuring squeeze before his phone rang, the number for the mental facility his mother currently resided in showing on the screen. "I need to take this, head on inside and I'll be right there, okay angel?" She swallowed nervously and walked inside, and he took the call.
5 minutes and 29 seconds.
That's how long he had been on the phone. Whatever had happened had taken only 5 minutes and 29 seconds. And it ended his relationship.
Spencer found himself pushing the door open and walking back inside the bar. His blood rushed in his ears as he approached the table and stared at all of his coworkers.
"What happened?" He asked, his voice just loud enough to be heard above the music.
"Reid," Morgan started, but Spencer cut him off. "Don't look at us like th—"
"Whatever was said in the 5 minutes and 29 seconds I was on the phone with my mother's hospital resulted in me getting dumped on the sidewalk outside when not even 30 minutes ago (Y/N) was laughing, and smiling, and happy. So what. Happened?" He seethed.
"Alright, you want to know what happened, Reid?" Morgan snapped, preparing to stand up and tell him off before being stopped by Penelope, who looked as though she was still on the verge of tears.
“Reid, I’m sorry,” she whispered as she stood up instead, standing in front of Spencer. “I should have stopped him,” she continued, shaking her head. “I shouldn’t have let him talk to her like that.”
“What did he tell her?” Spencer turned to Garcia, interrupting Derek as he opened his mouth to interject.
“I told her the truth,” Morgan slurred, finishing off what the rest of them knew was his fourth glass of whiskey. Spencer opted to ignore his clearly drunk colleague and continued to address Garcia.
“Garcia, what did he say to my girlfriend?” Spencer insisted, his anger being slowly replaced by a sense of growing dread.
“He— he told her nobody wanted her around,” she admitted, her eyes closing and her face twisting with guilt before she hastily added, “which of course that’s not the case! I love (Y/N) like she’s my own sister...” Spencer felt his heart drop into the pit that had become his stomach as his fears were confirmed.
“But?” Spencer added, tilting his head to the side, his voice growing quieter as the conversation continued.
“...but the rest of us miss you, Spence,” JJ finally spoke up. “We haven’t seen you in ages outside of work! If she’s keeping you from spending time with your friends, that's a little bit of a red flag, isn't it?” She reasoned, standing to put a hand on his bicep to calm him.
He angrily shook her off, the anxiety coursing through his veins shifting back into an icy rage. “She hasn’t kept me from doing anything, Jennifer,” he spat through gritted teeth as he held her gaze, which was a mix of shock and hurt at his tone.
“Spence, I just meant that—” JJ started, but was immediately interrupted by Spencer, whose rage was steadily growing to the point where he was certain he was visibly trembling.
“In fact, she has been continually insisting that I leave her behind to come out with you all, but given that I don’t drink much to begin with I usually just opt for a night in with her. I didn’t realize I needed permission from the rest of the team to make that decision for myself,” he bit back before turning to leave.
“Where are you going, Reid? Reid! Come on, man, be reasonable!” Morgan called out, only for Spencer to ignore him and keep walking. If he stayed there any longer, he knew he would end up saying something he’d regret, and with the way most of them were talking about his girlfriend—ex-girlfriend—he figured they’d find some way to blame her for his outburst if he did.
When he finally exited the bar, he felt a hand wrap around his wrist and he turned on his heel, preparing for another round of arguing, only to be met with the now tear-streaked cheeks of Penelope Garcia.
“What do you want, Garcia?” He snapped, his face softening as he took in her apologetic expression.
“I— I’m sorry, Spencer,” she whispered. “I should have told Derek to shut up, I’m so sorry! I just— I hate when the people I love start fighting like that! I shut down and— and I know I should have stood up for her but I just— I just froze like a coward and—” her voice grew more frantic and upset before Spencer cut her off.
“Garcia, it’s not your fault,” Spencer sighed, his anger fading away until the only thing he felt was the ache in his chest. “Derek was drunk and belligerent. You’re not responsible for his actions.” He paused as he took a deep, shuddering breath. “I just wish I could have been there to put a stop to it. She’s so sweet, and kind, and utterly terrified of people. I shouldn’t have sent her in by herself knowing that." His voice cracked as a fresh wave of tears started to fall down his own cheeks.
“Spencer, you had no way of knowing any of this would happen,” Penelope wrapped Spencer in a tight hug, and he finally broke down. His body shook gently with soft, nearly silent sobs and he cried into her shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Spencer. I know how much you love her.” Garcia’s own voice cracked as her heart ached for the crying boy in her arms.
“Wh— what do I do, Penelope?” He mumbled into the sleeve of her sweater. “I just want to help her feel better.” That’s all he’d wanted since he’d first laid eyes on her. He’d never forget how emaciated she had looked, her skin pallid and her eyes nothing more than dim, lifeless pits with dark bruise-like rings underneath them.
“Everyone, I’d like you to meet Dr. (Y/L/N). She just graduated from the academy and has expertise in psycholinguistics as well as a doctorate in neuropsychology, so I have no doubt she’ll be an excellent addition to the team.”
Spencer had tried his hardest in the two months after that initial introduction to get to know her, to understand why she looked like a reanimated corpse (albeit a very beautiful one) who had just wandered out of a morgue. Over those two months, the two of them had grown closer and closer, thanks to much insistent pushing from him. At first, it came in the form of attempting to get her to join the rest of them for drinks at their bar of choice (the others would never invite her themselves but Spencer would insist to her that it was okay, that she was a part of the team), but quickly he realized that all might be a bit too much for her. So, one night, he told the team he wasn’t feeling up to going out and instead privately asked (Y/N) if she’d want to join him for pizza and a movie at his place since he wasn't feeling up to big crowds and he had a feeling neither was she. He had been prepared to be turned down but was pleasantly surprised when her face showed the slightest expression of piqued interest and she agreed.
He then started to skip out on pretty much all of the future invitations to go out for drinks with the rest of the team, opting instead to go home for pizza and Doctor Who or Star Trek marathons with her, and he started seeing a whole other side to her that no one else had even suspected could have existed. She’d slowly opened to him, occasionally letting out quiet and restrained laughs at his goofy jokes and puns at the beginning of their friendship.
Eventually, those soft titters grew into ebullient, beautiful laughs that were like music to his ears. Her smiles went from being forced and never meeting her eyes to lighting up her entire face, at times so brightly that Spencer swore she could illuminate a dark room with nothing but her smile. She showed that there was a side to her that was goofy, outgoing, and full of life.
It was around then (November 17 at 11:57 PM) that their relationship had started officially with a soft, tentative kiss goodnight; but from the very first time he heard her let out a soft, breathy giggle at his goofy joke about Spock having three ears (‘a left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ier!’), Spencer knew that he would marry her someday.
Or at least he had thought so, until tonight.
“Give her some space to sort out her emotions, Spencer,” the voice of Penelope Garcia in his ear dragged him back into the present, her arms still wrapped tightly around him. “She loves you more than anything, and we both know that.” She let go and gave him a teary smile before wiping her cheeks.
“You’re right,” he replied, taking in another deep, shuddering breath. “Plus, she walked away with my cardigan, and we both know she’s a stickler about returning borrowed clothing!” He attempted a joke, but the laugh he tried to give after cracking it came out more like another choked sob.
“If I were you, I’d just give her a quick phone call and let her know that you love her no matter what anyone else says or thinks, okay? She needs to know that more than she needs anything else right now.”
“Right. Yes, you’re right,” he muttered, wiping his eyes on his shirt sleeve. “Thank you, Penelope.”
“I’m always here for you, Spencer,” she smiled at him before adding, “both of you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go tear Agent Morgan a new asshole for getting you dumped and hurting my best friend.” She took a second to shake her head and rub her own cheeks to dry them. “Call me once she makes it home safely to you, okay? Promise?” He nodded quietly. “Uh-uh-uh, what was it that one kid had told you a while back? ‘A promise doesn’t count unless you say it out loud,’ right?”
“I promise,” Spencer felt a small smile tugging on the corner of his lips. He then walked down the block to his car, got in, and drove home to wait for (Y/N).
When he arrived and had walked through the doorway, he pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed her number. It rang four times and then went to her voicemail.
“Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Dr. (Y/L/N), I can’t come to the phone right now but if you leave your name and number, I’ll return your call as soon as I am able. Thanks!” Beep.
“Hi, (Y/N). So, Penelope filled me in on everything that happened,” he began shakily, and took a deep breath before he continued. “I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there to stop Morgan from saying all of that, but please, please know that no one hates you, I promise. Penelope assured me that she was going to tear him a new one for what he said, and I promised her that I’d call her once you made it home safely.” He paused, searching for his next words carefully, and settled on, “I love you so much, angel. Please, please never forget that.” And then he had to hang up the phone, his eyes filling with more tears.
He made his way to the couch and sat down, turning the TV on and finding a marathon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer playing. Knowing it was her favorite show, he left it on and patiently waited. On the couch sat a small stuffed cat with a blue and white spotted mushroom for a head that he had gifted her on a whim, Dr. Mewshroom, as she had taken to calling it. He grabbed Dr. Mewshroom and hugged it close to his chest as he leaned back on the couch and eventually dozed off.
I paced up and down the 11th Street bridge for an hour before I decided to hop up and sit on the railing. My walking had warmed me up significantly, so I shed the cardigan Spencer had wrapped around my shoulders. Hopefully, it would be returned to him when they eventually found me. I stared down into the dark water beneath my dangling feet and tried to find the courage within me to jump, but I couldn’t give myself the final push I needed, just like all of the previous times I’d made this trip.
I must have sat there for fifteen more minutes or so before I decided to give it up and go home to Spencer. Maybe, if I begged and pleaded with him, he’d take me back. I checked my phone to see that I had a missed call from him. Weird, I hadn’t even heard it ring. Before I could turn myself around to hop off the railing, I was grabbed from behind and a cloth was pressed to my mouth and nose, blocking me from screaming. My nose and throat filled with a burning sensation before everything faded to black...
#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds fanfic#spencer x reader#spencer reid#heavy angst#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fic#angst
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[IN THE CAR] Tim: I don't see Dami anywhere. Dick: Keep looking. Jason's friends said he went this way. Bruce: And how were those punks your friends? Whatever happened to Roy? Jason: We… had a fallout. Bruce: Honey, I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me? Jason: Jesus Christ, I screamed it into your face about ten fucking times! But no one ever pays attention in this family. [silence] Bruce: Do you kids really think I don't-- Radio: A helicopter has crash-landed in a storm culvert. According to police, a young boy is trapped in the water of the culvert at the corner of 139th Street. Dick: That has to be Damian. [They arrive at the place, full of firefighters, police people, reporters and some civilians]. Bruce: That's my son down there. [Grabs the megaphone from the fire chief]: Damian, we're here, baby! Daddy's gonna save you! Damian: … Go to hell! Bruce: What the fuck did you just say to me?! Damian: I'm mad at you! You don't care about me. You never cared about me! There's always something more important for you to pay attention to. I only exist so you can yell at me and ben--ground me. And when I needed you today, you told me, "Not now." Well how about now, Father? Bruce: Oh… He's absolutely right… [Through the megaphone]: Son… I'm--I'm sorry. I have been a terrible father lately. Dick [Takes the megaphone]: Your father is very sorry, Dami. Damian: And I'm mad at you too, Richard! Dick: At me!? What did I do!? Damian: You spent all your time with that stupid scissor-spoon that I cut my fingers on! Dick: It was called the Forkoontula, and it's still in the development stages, but you're right. I guess I have been ignoring you a lot lately, too. I'm sorry. Bruce [Takes the megaphone]: But that's over, sweetheart. I'm very sorry. I told myself I'd be a better father than my own dad, and that starts now. You kids mean-- You mean a lot to me. I love you. All of you. Just please come on home. We'll talk about it. Damian: …Can we go see horses then? Dick: Of course! All the horses you want! Bruce: For God's sake, Dick, just get him a fucking Lego farm! Dick: Bruce!! Bruce: Okay! Sure. We can look for horses. But no further promises than just go and look. Damian: Nice! Bruce: I don't want anything larger than a pony. Dick: We'll have to build a stupid stable, and you know it…
#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#batdad#batman#batfam#batfamily#bruce wayne#damian wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#jason todd#source: f is for family
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Little Pougie
Hi! I'm back from a long break. I've been working on this book that originally is posted on wattpad and it's ongoing currently. I wanted to branch out from my previous posts from video games to shows as well.
This story also is originally using my OC's name and I'm not very good with coming up with alternatives to make the story for people who want to use their OC's or their own names. I will do my best though because I also don't like using the (Y/N) stuff but we shall see. anyways, onto chapter one.
Next chapter
01. Kegger
I wish I had stayed at home, curled up on the couch with my hair up in a messy bun and some stupid microwaveable meal on the coffee table in front of me. I wish I never let my older brother, John B, rip me away from the comfort of our own home to come to a kegger, or in other words- a party that I most certainly did not want to attend.
"John B," I tugged the hem of his loosely worn shirt. I've been so uneasy the entire night I've completely forgotten what it means to be content, "when are we leaving?"
"Just a little longer, Poguie. I promise," He gave a soft but playful nudge with his elbow.
'Just a little longer' means we'll be here till daybreak or until I pester him enough to drive me home himself. Time meant nothing to him when a Pouge party was happening.
I was more than eager to go back home and I grew more and more impatient the longer I stood there in hopes John B would change his mind and offer me a ride home of his own free will but that would only happen if hell froze over.
Pouges had no reason to throw parties, they just would and at this point being the sister of one and considered one myself by our peers and friends you would think I'd have no problem with participating but the word parties always left a bitter taste on the tip of my tongue. In what way does a night filled with hammered teenagers and raging migraines the next morning sound appealing?
The time we spent there grew longer and once it hit ten o'clock I couldn't take it anymore and made the utter decision to leave my older brother's side and push past the sweaty bodies and blotched faces.
I was sure that John B would grow increasingly tense once he'd start to realize my absence and after having practically the whole town on a wild goose chase- only to find me safely at home and also find time to lecture me about how I need to stay with him at all times. Yet I couldn't find even just an ounce in me to care about the repercussions of leaving on my own.
Luckily, none of John B's friends were around to stop me from reaching the main road, as everyone I left behind were either trying to find any way possible of getting a free hook up or a free buzz.
All I could keep my mind set on was crashing on the couch and tuning out to either The Vampire Diaries or jamming out to a random playlist of mine on the stereo. To some that might be one of the most boring activities you could be doing on a Friday night but to me it sounded like absolute bliss.
I wanted to die, After what felt like hours of heaving and gasping for air, I had finally reached the house where I could kick off my Chuck Taylor's and crash on the couch with my original plan. But first, I needed a snack because my stomach was probably on the verge of kicking my own butt if I didn't prioritize the next five seconds of finding something to satisfy the hunger.
I make my way to our kitchen, flicking on the light, and began scanning through the different varieties of food held within the cabinets and fridge. I quickly settled with a chocolate pudding cup stashed in the very back of our cabinet that seemed my brother tried to hide so desperately.
"Little Pouge?"
"Jesus!" I shrieked, practically throwing my enclosed pudding cup as a poor excuse for self-defense. If there was an actual intruder he'd probably have already made off with what we had left that was considered valuable.
I relax my nerves upon seeing a much more familiar blonde boy standing in the doorway and not an intruder ready to high-tail out of here with whatever he could.
"Sorry." a sheepish grin creeping on his face, "didn't mean to startle you, Little one."
JJ Maybank is my big brother's best friend since the third grade and he's also one of the very few people I didn't mind stopping by whenever he felt like it and lounge around the house as if he lived here himself. He's been in my life for as long as I could even remember because John B was never without him and ever since our father went missing it was always me, John B, and JJ so that surely helped our bond develop over time.
'Little Pouge' however was a nickname given to me by my brother and his friends. It was something the Pouges wanted to have special for me considering to them that 'y/n/n' was too bland to call me. I don't know a single one of them who doesn't call me Little Pouge or Pougie. That nickname has been with me for so long that even Kooks seem to be catching onto the idea of being referred to as those rather than my birth name.
Many Kooks have tried calling me the nickname's just to get under John B's skin or even JJ's but a lot of the time that ended in the boys beating a Kook to a pulp and the rest of their night spent in a six by eight foot holding cell and the horrible back pains that came with it in the morning when I'd bail them out.
I feel my face grow hot from embarrassment, "What are you doing here JJ?"
"John B couldn't find you so he sent me out looking for ya," he says, giving a curt nod towards the direction behind him, indicating my brother sent him out to hunt me down.
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. John B acts as if I can't spend even just a little bit of time by myself anywhere and that I constantly need someone to watch over me like a little kid- I'm not a little kid, I'm a year younger than him, and perfectly capable of taking care of myself.
I let out a groan, "I'm not a little kid, JJ. When is he going to understand that."
He made his way over to me, leaning forward so that he could rest his elbow on the countertop and his chin in the palm of his hand.
"He's just worried about you (y/n). You're the only family he's got left other than our little group as far as he knows." JJ states. "Plus, with all the Kooks at the party too he was worried that maybe one of 'em kidnapped ya."
"Hm."
"Ah Princess, don't be like that. He's looking out for you." He ruffles my hair.
He gave a soft grin before making his way over to the couch, swinging himself over the top and landing perfectly in a comfortable seated position.
Why does he never just walk around the side like a normal person?
Not long after JJ made himself comfortable on the couch is when I decided to do the same thing.
I take a good look at him, at his side profile, the way he clenches his jaw ever so slightly out of pure justification. His father had beat on him so many times he'd probably never have the same jaw alignment as he once had and a part of me wished that I was closer to him than just his best bud's little sister because he didn't open up to anyone, he doesn't allow anyone to get too close to him and in a way I understand.
Being as close to JJ as I was now I could smell the severe alcohol on his breath. It was no secret that Pouges drank, it was more common than you'd actually think but I could only imagine how his liver must have felt and practically beg him to take a break. On top of that, I also knew JJ was into a lot of different kinds of substances. He used those as an escape route, a way to completely make the pain go away for a temporary amount of time before he had to rejoin the rest of us in reality.
He tended to do his best to stay away from pain, choosing to ignore anything and everything that even remotely had the chance to trigger the emotion. He tried to bottle all of it up and throw it out the window as if it had never existed in the first place but like every human being, there comes a time when that glass bottle fills to the brim and then it explodes.
"JJ."
"Hm?" He raised an eyebrow, turning his head towards me to give his full attention.
I paused. He wasn't going to like the question I had in store for him so was I really ready to potentially ruin the small, yet sweet relationship I had with him? Over being a little too nosey for my own good.
I decided against it and just shook my head, "How was the party?"
He tilted his head to the side, his tongue slid between both sets of his teeth and his mouth making the ever so slightest oval like he usually does- He was confused, and rightfully so. This man has been around since before my childbirth and every step after that, it was hard to keep anything from him. That is if he's sober.
Fortunately enough for me, he was not and wasn't the sharpest when it came to being intoxicated. JayJ and his love for alcohol for once actually saved us a conversation that I don't think either of us were fully ready to have. Nonetheless, the question still raked through my mind and I was only hoping that the curiosity wouldn't power through.
Why does he resort to things that destroy him? Does he seriously think that low of himself?
#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank series#jj maybank angst#obx x reader#outer banks x reader#outer banks#john b routledge
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best friends sister II platonic!a.russo x reader
y'all have been sending in the requests for AI alessia being her gay older sister who plays for arsenal and i hope it satisfies because it was tricky to write lmao, so picture that ^ is isabella
best friends sister II platonic!a.russo x reader
"-and you promise that you're not mad?" your best friend bit down on her bottom lip nervously as you smiled as reassuringly as you could. "less of course i'm not mad! why would i be?" you laughed and shook your head at the blonde you'd all but grown up side by side with.
"because we always said the plan would be for you to go to university and me to play professionally in whatever club was closest so we could do it together, and i've ruined that!" your best friend sighed guiltily, collapsing back into her pillows.
"alessia. you are one of the best up and coming footballers there is, you've got a huge career ahead of you and this is the perfect next step to launch you into it. i'd be selfish cow and a terrible best friend to try and keep you from it." you promised sincerely, grabbing her hand and squeezing with a nod.
"will i miss you? of course. but i want you to go, i promise." you affirmed firmly. "and i promise that i'll make sure we don't drift apart. best friends for life means for life, and you better come and visit!" alessia held out her pinky as you grinned and interlocked it with your own.
"okay well that makes me feel a bit better because i was stressed about telling you!" the girl sighed and sat back up. "i've also been stuck with you for like ten years now, i'd really like a break." you shoved her playfully, ducking as she swung back at you with a grin and slid off her bed.
"please we both know you'll be a blubbering mess at the airport, your only friend off on a whirlwhind adventure and you...stuck here." alessia pouted sarcastically as you gasped. "i have loads of other friends thank you! you just refuse to accept that because you're notoriously posessive and needy." you teased back with a grin.
"and i'm off to university anyway you dickhead! where i'm sure i'll find myself a new blondie to spend my every waking day with." you jeered as she fumbled around in her cupboard for something. "you better not or i'll be forced to come back and kick her head in." alessia warned making you laugh.
"unless its a girlfriend of course, you desperately need one of those so you can stop kissing your hand." your best friend shrugged dropping a large box on her bed. "less! that was one time years ago and i told you that in strict confidence!" you kicked at her as she grinned, your cheeks blushing red.
"what? i wouldn't blame you for dating someone who looked like me, i know it's your biggest shame that you're secretly in love with me." the blonde pouted patting your leg making you roll your eyes.
"please. you know it's actually homophobic to assume that because i like girls that i like you, and here i was thinking you'd be an ally." you tutted as her eyes widened and she scrambled to ramble out an apology.
"an ally? please." you both looked up at the new voice, alessia's older sister isabella leaning in the doorway with a smirk. "have you heard of knocking?" alessia sighed as bella shrugged. "have you heard of not caring?" the older girl retorted walking into the room further as you covered up a laugh with a cough and alessia shot you a glare.
"see? she thinks i'm funny. why are you so in denial?" bella pouted, the two always arguing about something which amused you to no end given it was often over something so incredibly small it seemed they just enjoyed bickering.
there was only two years between them and they had more in common than either would care to admit, in fact both would argue they were one anothers opposite that really wasn't true.
you knew isabella had been training with arsenal in their junior academy and was hoping for a professional contract now she'd made her senior debut for the lionesses, both goals alessia was quickly following in her footsteps to also achieve, the entire russo household all football mad.
"what's all this then? college bribing you not to come anymore?" she began to rifle through the large box on the bed which you realised was full of various UNC swag. "get your filthy hands off it thank you! god knows where they've been." alessia scoffed, pushing her away and snapping the box closed.
"they're squeaky clean. want to check?" the older russo smirked, grabbing alessia by the face with her hand and pulling her into a headlock as you watched on in amusement. "get out! god i'm gonna miss you the least." alessia eventually pulled away, shoving the taller girl across the room with a glare.
"still admit you'll miss me though, and mum wants you." the girl winked backing away. "for what?" alessia questioned with a frown. "mm she did tell me, but i didn't care enough to remember." with a shrug bella left the room leaving alessia fuming and you quietly chuckling.
"why do you always egg her on by laughing! she's not funny she's infuriating!" alessia huffed glaring at you now as you held your hands up in defense, your best friend dragging you with her downstairs to see what her mum wanted.
~
"dinners ready. can you go get your sister and her friend please lessi?" carol asked, shooting the blonde a firm glare when she groaned at the request. "why do i have to come?" you laughed as she grabbed the back of your top, tugging you up with her.
"just think of it as me wanting to spend as much time with you before i leave." alessia grinned as the two of you ascended the stairs, her brothers already having moved out it just left alessia and isabella living at home.
"oh thats it is it?" you rolled your eyes knowing she was full of it as you reached her sisters door, alessia giving her sister the same courtesy she gave her as she flung her door open without knocking.
though she wished she hadn't.
"get out!" the older russo sat up quickly half naked spare some shorts and a bra, having been previously hovered over the girl pinned beneath her, the two clearly making out.
"jesus my poor eyes! dinners ready, looks like you were just about to eat though bella." alessia smirked before leaving the room, purposefully leaving her sisters door open.
"what are your ears painted on? fuck off!" bella scowled, throwing a pillow at you as you stood frozen, quickly spinning around and almost running out of the room, the door slamming closed after you.
safe to say she didn't come down for dinner after that.
"it's not even scary less, its a thriller!" you argued as you and alessia made your way back upstairs, each of you stating your case over what you wanted to watch tonight.
"my names not lily? jesus you're worse than what everyone says!" you both glanced down the hallway before entering alessia's room, the girl from earlier standing there with her arms crossed and an angry look on her face.
"sorry?" bella shrugged leaning in her doorway, clearly not sorry as the mystery girl whose name was not lily scoffed, shoving the taller girl and hurrying off downstairs to leave. "you truly are disgusting." alessia grimaced as her sister only grinned.
"careful now ally, did you used to say the same about all the girls gio snuck round?" the older girl winked, leaving her sister scoffing and about to defend herself before the door thudded closed.
"god she is insufferable."
~
"can you go make more popcorn?" alessia asked, head buried in her phone as you nodded, more than comfortable to help yourself to anything in the russo household. "can i go and make more popcorn..." you trailed off expectantly as the blonde tossed her phone beside her.
"now?" she guessed with a grin, causing you to flip her off as she tossed an m&m at your head and began to rummage around for the remote to select a new movie.
with it being half past ten at night you expected the kitchen to be vacant, though you noticed the lights were all on and as you rounded the corner you saw the older russo sister sat at the benchtop eating a plate of leftovers from dinner.
her attention on her phone she didn't notice you at first, only looking up as she heard you start to rummage around in the pantry. "surely we've started to charge you rent by now?" the older girl teased as you emerged with a bag of popcorn, rolling your eyes and tossing it in the microwave.
"i'll make sure to sign a jersey for you once i get my pro contract so you can sell it and buy my family some food since you consume so much of it." the taller girl shoved your head to the side playfully as you moved out of her way so she could rinse her plate.
"so. did you enjoy the little show earlier pervert?" she smirked, glancing at you as she dried up her plate. "what? you're so weird." you frowned, pulling yourself to sit up on the counter.
"please. you know if you asked me nicely i'd kiss you so you can stop wondering what it feels like." she grinned, moving closer to you as your frown turned into a scowl. "or so you can stop using your hand. less talks quite loudly you know." she teased, standing in between your legs as you tensed up a little.
if you were honest with yourself you'd always found her to be quite attractive but you'd never ever go there, both for your own and alessia's sake.
"i've kissed girls!" you defended truthfully, and you had, you'd just not ever progressed any further than that. "mm but have you been kissed by a girl?" the older russo quirked an eyebrow, leaning in closer as her hands fell either side of your body, somewhat caging you in.
"thats the same thing." you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore how hard your heart was hammering in your chest. "that means no then." bella chuckled, tilting her head slightly.
"i mean have you ever been properly kissed by a girl? when she's got her tongue roaming your mouth, her teeth nipping down on your bottom lip before she sucks on it to soothe the sting-" she leaned in closer as your eyes widened.
"-where one of her hands are on the back of your neck so you can't pull away until she lets you, and the other hand...well it touches other parts of you." the older girl grinned wickedly, her mouth ghosting yours before she put her plate back in the cupboard behind your head and pulled away entirely.
"baby gays are always the cutest." bella winked, ruffling your hair and walking off as if she hadn't just sent your head into a spin, the beep of the microwave making you jump a little as you slid off the counter, shaking your head to try and rid it of the thoughts you'd just had.
she was your best friends sister, she'd always be off limits.
~
"just when i thought we'd gotten rid of you." you rolled your eyes as isabella opened the door for you with a sigh. "no one else is here and your best friends in another country, so then you must be here for me?" she grinned as you pushed past her, heading for the stairs.
alessia had been gone for months now and you missed her like crazy, so much so you'd booked a flight to go and visit her during what was to be her spring break and your time off from your own university course.
though of course that meant the girl had texted you a rather elaborate list of things she'd left behind that she requested you bring with you to see her, which despite the ongoing teasing that she'd lose her head was it not attached to her body you agreed to go and collect.
"she'd kill you for being in here." you sighed as the older russo collapsed onto her younger sisters bed, making herself comfortable as you began to gather what alessia had requested.
"only if you snitch me in." the girl grinned, watching you as you fluttered around the room. "surely you have something better to do? being a big pro now and all!" you sighed, looking at her with your hands on your hips.
"so you did hear! not even a congratulations? thats just poor manners." bella tutted with a shake of her head, sitting up and moving to the edge of the mattress. "i'm not an arsenal fan." you teased with a smile, hearing her scoff in mock offence.
"you don't have to be, you can just be my fan." bella challenged as you again rolled your eyes. "you know if i had a pound for every time you rolled your eyes at me over the years i could have bought a house by now." the older russo sister grinned.
"must mean you say a lot of stupid things to have girls always rolling their eyes at you." you quipped, rummaging through and grabbing out two hoodies, tossing them onto your growing pile.
"i personally prefer to make their eyes roll back into their heads." the taller girl commented quite casually, your eyes widening for a moment at the abrupt statement but choosing to ignore it. "so what are you doing after this?" she stood and made her way out, leaning in the doorway.
"going home?" you quirked an eyebrow unsure where she was going with this. "do you want to watch a movie or something?" she asked surprising you.
"are you asking me to hang out?"
"maybe. you miss less, i miss less, though if you tell her that i'll deny it till the day i die, we may as well keep one another company."
"plus i'm older so less's entire personality comes from me anyway. so it'll be like she never left, just swap one russo for another!" she added on with a smile as you shook your head.
"yeah sure, why not."
~
"burn yourself with the straightener did you?" you flinched suddenly as the girls thumb gently pressed into a fading love bite on the side of your neck, the only lingering evidence from an incredibly drunken hook up at a university party you'd gone to over the weekend.
and much to your best friends horror and delight, where you'd finally lost your virginity, before her.
"none of your business!" you pushed her hand away as she smiled and turned her attention back to the movie. well, for a few minutes. "finally dropped the baby gay card then, feel good?" she teased as you rolled your eyes.
"stop calling me that."
"oh sorry, prefer if i just call you baby then?"
"stop, bella seriously."
"what?"
"can you not keep it in your pants around anyone? or do you just shamelessly flirt with anything that moves?" you shot her a dirty side eye only making her smile widen. "well the something has to be female, obviously." you tried to hide your smile with your hand but she grabbed your wrist.
"saw that!" she teased as you tried to pull away, the two of you messing around for a moment before she leaned in and your heart began to race, recognize her eyes flicker down to your lips.
"we can't." you whispered, hating how unsure your voice sounded. "tell me to stop and i will." she whispered back, leaning in even closer as you opened your mouth and she paused, but you couldn't speak.
taking that as permission she closed the small gap in between you both, pressing her lips firmly to yours. you'd have loved to say you pushed her off, told her again that you couldn't, thought about your best friend and what she might think.
but the only thing that consumed your mind was her and how good her mouth felt molded with your own. as you began to kiss back you felt her hands move, grabbing your hips and pulling you to straddle her lap, movie long forgotten in the background.
"alessia." you pulled away remembering your best friend as the older girl nipped at your bottom lip and your stomach twisted. "doesn't have to know." bella promised and you hesitated for a moment, but as her lips curled into a cocky smile and her hand flew to the back of your head, you knew you were a goner.
~
safe to say that was not the last time it happened, far from it.
you ignored the guilt which bubbled up in your stomach as you pretended it never happened, flying over to see your best friend and spending two blissful weeks with her, then flying over again a couple of months later to watch her in the she believes tournament where she would finally get her senior national team debut.
though of course that also meant isabella would be playing, and their whole family would be there with you.
"i'm so so proud of you!" you yelled happily as your best friend jogged over, shit eating grin on her face as she wrapped you up in a hug, isabella hanging back as she chatted with some of her team mates, though her eyes lingered on you.
and it was those lingering eyes which eventually did you both in.
you were all out for dinner after the game, you seated beside your best friend and luca, gio opposite him as the other russo sister sat across from you and mario across from alessia, carol at the head of the table.
you'd hardly spoken to her the entire time you'd been around, focusing all of your time and attention on the rare moments spent with your best friend who you knew you'd have to say goodbye to again in a few days time.
however that didn't stop the defender from trying to gain your attention, sending you subtle looks across the table as she kicked you playfully, winking at you when alessia wasn't looking.
well, when she thought she wasn't looking.
dinner finished you excused yourself to the bathroom, declining your best friends offer to come with you with a laugh as you promised to meet them outside the restaurant.
you did your business and washed your hands, hearing the door open but not bothering to look up, jumping in shock as arms wrapped around your torso and a familiar pair of lips pressed themselves to your neck.
"bella we can't." you chuckled, though still leaning your head back a little to give her more access, eyes fluttering closed as she peppered the warm skin with butterfly kisses. "can't we?" she smirked at you through the mirror with that same cocky smile that made your knees weak every time.
"i've missed you in camp." she confessed softly, spinning your body round and pushing it into the bathroom counter, wasting no time rewarding you with a searing kiss which sent your head spinning.
"they'll wonder where we are." you exhaled shakily, using all your willpower and pushing her off you. "you won't escape me later." she warned playfully, nodding for you to leave first as she hung back.
it was several hours later, you and alessia hanging in your shared hotel room together catching up just like normal, your combined laughters echoing around the room as the girls phone suddenly buzzed.
"hey i have to go talk to the training staff about something. but find a movie, i'll be back!" she promised, rolling off the bed as you nodded, not bothering to question why she was suddenly needing to speak to the training staff at almost ten at night.
alessia wasted no time marching down the hallway to where her sisters room was, knocking impatiently as she answered. "oh come on in!" the older russo chuckled as alessia shoved past her, checking the two of them were alone.
"how long?" alessia asked, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at the taller girl who frowned, sitting down on the edge of her bed. "pardon?"
"how long have you been fucking my best friend behind my back?" alessia spat, scarily calm as a storm brewed behind her bright blue eyes. "look less-"
"no, don't lie. i saw your little fuck me eyes across the table, and it wasn't her leg you kept kicking at the table. so tell me the truth." alessia warned as her sister sighed, rubbing her face with her hands unsure how to find a way out of this.
"we haven't slept together, i promise."
"but?"
"but we've done, other things."
"you are seriously unbelievable. you couldn't just be happy plowing your way through every insecure footballer in london, you had to go for my best friend?" alessia yelled angrily, fists balled by her sides.
"woah okay less i think you're overre-"
"you're going to stay away from her bella. she's not just another name for your books, she's my best friend and a better sister to me than you've ever been!" alessia fumed, hurt flashing across the older girls face momentarily before it hardened.
"it takes two to tango. you gonna go yell at her too then?"
"she can't have known any better, which is why you're going to stay away from her. i won't let you take advantage of the fact she see's the good in people, as little of it exists in you."
"fine. get out!" the taller girl stood, shoving her sister back who scoffed, turning on her heel. "happily!" the door slamming after her, you none the wiser of anything that had just happened as alessia returned, plastering a fake smile on her face and not uttering a single word about it.
which is why it hurt all the more as you slipped out of your room to call your mum that next morning as to not wake your best friend.
making the mistake of glancing down the hall, you watched as a random girl slipped out of one of the rooms, a familiar face kissing her goodbye with a grin.
you froze and thats when her eyes met yours, not a single look of regret on her face as you stared one another down for a moment before she watched you hurry back into alessia's room.
she was your best friends sister, and that's all she'd ever be to you.
#woso x reader#alessia russo x reader#woso fanfics#woso#alessia russo#woso imagine#woso blurbs#engwnt
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Hollowed out
Azriel x Eris
This is the fic I made for my giftee; @gravitysthrall! I'm so excited and happy I got to participate in this and a big thanks to all the amazing people who organised it. Dividers by @tsunami-of-tears
Word Count: 6039
Warnings: Angst, Swearing, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, some suggestiveness, brief panic attack/breakdown
The halls are quiet. It is to be expected, given the late hour, most are in bed by now, yet here I walk, up and down halls, waiting. For what? Eris, the High Lord of Autumn, to finally come out of his hobbit hole of an office and take a break. My pace slows as I cross that door, the royal bed chambers. Neither Eris nor I have used them since Berons' death. It bears too many bad memories, haunts the residents of the forest house.
My gaze lingers on the ancient wood arch, the intricate pictures carved meticulously by skilled hands. It must have taken hours, such a shame that the details get overlooked by everyone because of a reputation left by someone else.
My footsteps continue on silently as I make my way to my mate, guided by that golden thread. He has blocked his side of the bond. Again.
I try not to let the hurt creep in, I understand he's a High Lord now, his duties and responsibilities have grown exponentially since the war, he can only split his time between so many things. The logical part of my brain tries to convince me of this, but my heart cries out for help. Lately, the bond is blocked more often than not and between paperwork and my missions, physical contact hasn't been available either.
I stop in front of his door. If it weren't for the wards, I'm sure I'd hear the furious scratching of a quill on paper.
Pushing aside the barrier, I walk in, making my steps audible for his benefit. Eris doesn't lift his head, or hum, or acknowledge me in any way shape or form and my heart cracks a little more. It's been like this, cold and unfeeling, for far too long, I don't know how much more of it I can take.
"Eris?"
Nothing.
My jaw tightens.
"High Lord" I grit out between clenched teeth. Is this really what I've been reduced to? Just another fae begging for the favor of his Lord instead of the love of his life, his mate, his husband.
"Yes, Azriel?" I swallow down my rising anger, I didn't come here to argue, and the sound of my name on his tongue almost drowns my temper anyway. The soft care in my voice comes naturally.
"Eris, don't you think it's time to take a break? You've been in here for hours, you haven't eaten or had something to drink since this morning, come, have dinner with me" The time for dinner has long since passed, but I'd do anything to make him walk out of this room, where he has unknowingly imprisoned himself.
"Please" The desperation in my tone isn't subtle, and I can't bring myself to be embarrassed about it because that's what I am. Desperate. A child begging for scraps of attention.
He stays silent for what feels like an eternity longer, the clock ticking, time running through my fingers, unable to grab hold, just swept along with the tide like dust under the carpet.
The scribbling of his quill pauses, he sighs, looks into my eyes, and for just a moment, I see the affection he once had for me. For a moment, hope squeezes my heart and I don't want it to end.
Eris's amber orbs study me, then wander back to the paper, however the reluctance to do so is the thread I grasp to tug him back to me.
"I promise the paper's will still be there when you get back, an hour is all I ask" I wanted to ask for two, but I feel I'm already asking for too much. At this point, I'd cherish ten minutes.
He sighs again and rubs his eyes, the bags beneath them a stark contrast to his sallow skin. Even his freckles seem to have lost their vibrancy.
"Alright, I'll have dinner with you, right after I finish this document, I'll come down to our room" In any other situation, I would have bristled at how he made spending time with me sound like a chore, but I was too happy with his acquiescence.
I walked calmly out the room, giving my mate a smile, which he returned in a grimace like fashion. Once I crossed the threshold and was out of Eris's line of sight, my shadows hurtled themselves toward the kitchens. I invited Eris to dinner, but I didn't actually have anything prepared, and none of the staff would be awake, it's almost one in the morning.
The shadows were giddy, skittering along the walls and floor, some of them climbing the ceiling. Their voices all flooded me at once, fighting for space in my head, they were yelling about what to make. One of them suggested a three course meal and they were all too happy to jump on that idea.
We don't have time to make a feast, and Eris certainly won't have time to eat all of it. Think simple, we'll prepare a charcuterie board, gather some crackers, bread and cold meat, then we'll return to the room.
They grumbled their dissatisfaction, but complied anyway. They scoured the kitchen, slicing sourdough, whole grain, flat bread, and gathering different crackers, as well as an insanely wide assortment of cheeses. They had ham and pulled pork and salami, plating it as if it were to be presented at a banquet. They had always loved doing these sorts of things for Eris, and after being deprived of it for so long, they were going to turn simple into gourmet.
They helped me carry it all to our room, the bed was still made, telling me that Eris hadn't slept at all last night. Servants weren't allowed in our room, I was on a mission, and Eris never made the bed, he didn't see the need if you were just going to mess it up again the next night. I closed my eyes, letting the memory wash over me.
"You don't make your bed in the morning?" Eris rolled his eyes.
"No. Not anymore at least, not since I was the general" He picked up the pillow I had just placed putting it askew again and I huffed.
"Why not? You're a neat freak with everything else, but your bed is the only exception?"
"I see no point in making our bed when we mess it up so frequently" He pulled me toward him by the arm, wrapping his around my neck when our bodies collided. He guided the both of us backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed frame, Eris spun us around mid-fall so I was pinned under him. He leaned in so close we shared each breath and his eyes darkened, flitting between mine and my lips. I surged up, closing the distance, and threaded my fingers in his red locks.
The bed was indeed, messed again.
I set down all the plates, leaving enough room for Eris and I to sit against the pillows, the shadows fussed over every detail while we waited for my mate.
Ten minutes passed.
Then thirty.
Then an hour. Still no sign of my husband. I couldn't even feel the exhaustion, the anger was too great, but still I stayed.
The sun was starting to peak over the horizon when I finally decided to leave. The shadows drooped like wilted plants, my wings dragged slightly. I tried to figure out what I was feeling.
I had every reason to be angry, to be furious, but I wasn't. Was I worried? Did some part of my subconscious think something had happened to Eris? It didn't feel like it. My mind raced through all the options, as I trudged to one of the spare rooms. I didn't want to sleep in our bed, so I lay awake in another, but it wasn't till the first bell rang, signalling five am that I found the word I was searching for.
Hollow.
That's how I felt. Hollow.
It sent a pang through my heart and I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry, but I had no tears left. Day after day, night after night, Eris and I had become strangers and it hurt. It fucking hurt.
My eyes wandered over the mahogany ceiling aimlessly, my mind swimming in doubt and shattered expectations. Expectations. I scoffed at myself in my head. More like childish wishes.
The pain seeped back into me, and I made my decision.
I have to leave.
Leave Autumn, leave Eris, leave this entire mess of a life. Just for a bit. Just for some space to think and gather myself, to figure out my next move because if this is to be my life with him, my mate. Even in my own thoughts, my voice cracked.
Then I'll have to- I couldn't complete the thought. Rejecting the bond, ending what Eris and I had spent years building... I don't think I could survive it. I don't think I'd want to.
I packed a bag. It didn't contain much, just some clothes. I still had a few pairs back at the cabin, but I preferred these, they were more comfortable.
And they smell like Autumn! The shadows pitched in, I ignored that comment however. I didn't want to admit that even while angry at him, I still sought out Eris for comfort. I did not need to be reminded right now that I need him much more than he needs me.
Usually when I wanted to clear my head, I'd fly, but the weight in my chest was so heavy, I feared I'd plummet like a rock.
The shadows swarmed around me, pulling me from my empty bedroom, to the empty cabin. The second I had fully materialised, Rhysand was in my head.
Azriel? What are you doing here? Are you alright? Did something happen?
It had taken time for the inner circle to accept my mating with Eris; they had eventually come around, but none of them really trusted him, especially not Rhys. He was always just waiting for something to happen, waiting for Eris to do something so that he could take me back to the Night Court.
I knew it was because he cared, and that the worry in his tone was genuine, but I was too tired to explain to him what was going on.
I'm fine, everything's fine.
I could feel him lift his eyebrow, could picture the 'Do you think I'm a blind idiot' look on his face.
I just need a break from... From what? Eris? I couldn't say that, not because it wasn't true, because technically, it was, but because it would hurt to admit it.
I decided to forgo the rest of my sentence. Is it ok if I stay here? Just for a few days.
A pause ensued, then in a much softer tone, an understanding one, he said; Of course Azriel, you will always be welcome here.
And I felt in my bones that it was true, I just didn't want to think about what that might mean for me.
Eris's Pov
I was going to break that infernal clock, tick tick ticking in the back of my head like the pressure of how little time I had wasn't enough already.
I had just finished the paper I was working on, but one more couldn't hurt, it would just mean less work for tomorrow, maybe then I could spend some time with my mate. Liar, there is always more work to do the next day.
I pushed the voice down, trying fruitlessly to smother it. Azriel was right, I needed a break. And right after this paper, I'd get one. Azriel and I would have dinner, and maybe, just maybe, we could fall asleep in each other's arms again. What I wouldn't give for that?
I finished putting the last signature on the bottom of the page to approve the project. It was for some agriculture thing, I didn't have enough head space to really go into too much detail, just enough to know it would help.
I got up from the desk, stretching, but my eyes got caught on another document. That one is quick to fill out, it will take me five minutes at most, Azriel will understand, he always does.
I haven't thanked my mate enough for the patience he's had with me, I haven't had the time to, but I will. Once all the things from my father's reign have been sorted, I'll be able to show him how much I appreciated his love and support.
The clock continues its ticking, and I'm only vaguely aware of the time passing, pulled once again into the onslaught of paperwork that buries my desk. One report turned into two, then to five, then a stack.
I'm pulled out once again when a thud is heard to my right. My head snaps up, eyes locking with the target. It's one of the early rising servants, dropping off another stack of papers and documents for me to sign. I whip around to look at the clock to see it is indeed eight o’clock in the morning.
I look back at her and she smiles sheepishly, then leaves. They may be light footed, but I should have heard her open the door. Had she been an assassin, I'd be dead. The lack of sleep really is getting to me.
I run my hands over my face and pick up the quill again, resigned to another day filled with endless words on paper and that bloody clock.
Sliding over the next thing, I can't help but pause at this nagging feeling that I've forgotten something. It claws at my insides, churning my gut, but I have to focus on what's important, I have to-
Azriel
Shit!
I completely forgot. I drop my quill, and shove the doors aside. I'm walking so fast that it could be considered a run but I need to see Azriel, my mate. I need to apologise, to explain, to-
The room is empty save for the spread of meat and cheeses with an assortment of bread and crackers now plagued with flies. My head pivots, searching for any hint of Azriel, the only sign he'd been here was his lingering scent.
I took a moment to breathe it in. Night chilled mist and cedar. Cauldrons I loved his scent, and his wings, and his smile. I just loved him.
His wingspan could sometimes be a pain in my ass (literally) but cauldron boil and fry me, it felt heavenly.
I opened my side of the bond reaching out, but all I was met with was solid walls. My heart stopped. Have I finally pushed him too far?
I tug harder, but am met with no response, dread settles in my stomach. What have I done?
I get the creeping feeling of being watched, and a few of my mate's shadows twirl into view. Usually the sight of them would reassure me, but something about their presence now was foreboding.
"Where is Azriel?" My voice is a mere whisper, but it seemed to echo in the room. They just sat there, dancing on the spot, never still, never motionless. It was unnerving. The slow fluidity of this dark entity, nothing in nature moved like that.
They finally left that spot on the floor, racing down the hall. "Wait" They did not.
I chased after them, barely keeping the swirls of black in view, every time they turned a corner, I thought I'd lose them. They slithered under one of the guest bedrooms, and without question, I flung the doors to the side.
Nothing.
No Azriel.
I looked to the shadows in question. "Why have you brought me here?" Obviously they gave no verbal response, they couldn't, but they just... disappeared. Vanished into thin air. Leaving behind a note in Az's handwriting. I just looked at it, thinking of all the effort he'd put in to be able to write in fancy script.
I picked up the note, reading it quietly to myself. Then reading it again, and again until it stuck.
Dear Eris,
If you're reading this, you've finally come out of your office. You do not need to worry about me, I'm safe in the Night Court, Rhysand knows I'm here.
Don't come get me. When I'm ready, I'll come back, but for now, I just need some time to think.
Sincerely, Your Shadow Azriel
In so few, simple words, I felt my heart crumble. I desperately clawed at the wall blocking me from my mate, but it held strong.
I could feel the panic rise within me, my breath coming in short gasps. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This can't be happening. I can't- I can't do this without him. I can't. I need him, I need my mate I-
My knees gave out from beneath me, and I hit the floor hard, the sudden bite of pain becoming a small drop in what was quickly gathering to be an ocean.
Azriel left. My mate left.
The words clanged through me with such clarity, I couldn't have stopped the tears if I tried. I broke down for the first time in centuries. Azriel was gone and it was all my fault, I drove him away, I neglected him.
Just like my father did to my mother.
That was the last straw. Loud ugly sobs fell from my lips, my body caved in on itself. How could I let this happen, how could I do this to him?
I stayed there for hours, until I had no more tears, until my throat was raw and no sound could come out. I crawled up onto the bed, curling my body around the pillow he'd used on his last night here. He said not to go after him, that he needed space. I could give him that. I will give him that. Even if it hurts.
3rd person Pov
Eris got up the morning after, feeling more tired than he had all month, his bones felt like they were made of granite but as frail as sandstone.
Days passed by painfully slow. He tried to focus, to tackle those papers that had driven him from his mate, but everything felt overwhelming. The sun was too bright, the stacks too high, his bed too warm, nothing felt right. Eris couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, he couldn't breathe. He felt like he was suffocating, choking on his own actions and he just wanted his mate back in his arms. He was prepared to do anything to bring Azriel home.
But alas, no word from the shadow singer had reached his ears. It had been twelve days, neither Az nor anyone else from the Night Court had told him anything. It was driving him mad. Had something happened? Or was this really the end?
Another tear slipped out. His eyes burned from all the crying, all the sleepless nights filled with worry and anxiety. There was this perpetual feeling of nausea that he couldn't seem to shake, no tonic or pill worked.
He couldn't take it anymore, he needed to know. Eris winnowed into the town house. He knew Rhysand didn't live there, but it would get his attention.
He didn't have to wait long before the High Lord and Lady of Night as well as the general stood before him, all with scowls on their faces.
"Eris" Rhysand said tersely, his jaw clenched. Eris's eyes were bloodshot, but he couldn't find it in himself to care.
"How is he? Is he alright?" The High Lord's voice came out soft but clear.
"Azriel will speak to you when he is ready" Feyre spoke this time, eyes narrowed.
"I know, I'm not here to force him to see me, I just- I need to know he's ok" The waver in his voice was slight, but there. They all picked up on it, however, had no intention of faltering.
Cassian was about to add his two cents when Azriel appeared in the shadows.
His face was unreadable, but the knotted black curls and massive eye bags were a testament to how much he had been struggling despite being the one to have initiated the space.
Eris swallowed but didn't speak. Just stared at his lover with desperation.
Everyone stared at Azriel, waiting for him to say something.
"Thank you for defending my privacy, but I would like to speak to Eris alone" It was not lost on the red headed fae that Azriel had called him by his name, instead of saying 'my mate' like he usually would have.
Rhysand, Feyre, and Cassian slowly left, they didn't winnow away, just vacated the room, and Rhysand put up wards to give them privacy, staying close in case Eris tried anything.
For a long time, they stood in silence, neither knowing what to say until Eris cleared his throat. "Are you sure you're ready to talk to me? I did not come here with the intention of forcing an interaction between us." The words hurt him, he didn't want to leave without his mate, but if that's what Azriel wanted, he would give him that.
"If you need more- more space then-"
"No"
"...No?"
"I'm done with space. We need to figure this out. Now or never."
Eris nodded, but he was unsure if he should say something, or wait for Azriel to speak first.
Azriel sighed, and sat down at the table, motioning for Eris to do the same. Somehow, this felt worse than standing, but he complied nonetheless.
Azriel rested both arms on the table, fingers interlocked. He raised his hazel eyes to look into Eris's amber ones.
"I'm going to ask you a question, Eris, and I need you to answer honestly, can you do that?" He nods.
"Do you still want this bond, or would you rather have us reject it?”
How could he say that? Eris was appalled, he knew he'd been neglectful, but Azriel couldn't actually believe he regretted this, regretted them, could he? No, it was unthinkable, Eris refused to believe it.
"Azriel, you don't mean that, you can't." He shook his head, his heart felt like it was being squeezed to the point it might explode.
"Answer the question." Azriel's voice was devoid of emotion. Eris grit his teeth, not liking the tone his mate was using on him. That voice was for prisoner's, not him.
"No, Azriel, I don't want to reject the bond" There was a little bite to his voice before a realisation hit him. His words came out small, and meek.
"Do you?"
Eris prayed that wasn't the case, he would beg on his hands and knees if he had to, he would burn those papers, and close off his office if that's what he wanted. Eris was prepared to give up his throne if it would make Azriel reconsider.
"No, I don't, I never have" The relief flooded Eris, the grip on his heart loosened just a bit, just enough for him to breathe again.
"But things cannot go on the way they have. I am tired of not being your first priority, of not even being your tenth!" The spymaster raised his voice for the first time that night. "There is always something that needs to happen. There's always paperwork; documents, complaints, reports, there is always some tradition in one of the villages that people barely remember because Beron forbade it that suddenly wants you to attend."
His breathing was growing heavier with each point, and it was clear he'd been keeping this bottled inside for a long time. "Then finally we find a time in which our free times could align through no small effort, and out of nowhere, the Lords call for an emergency meeting, to discuss their decreased cash flow."
Everything he was saying was true, Eris couldn't defend himself, not that he had any ground to stand on in the first place, so he just listened to Azriel lament.
"And I know, believe me, I know that being a new High Lord is a lot of pressure. I don't pretend to understand what you have gone through nor what you are currently going through, and I've tried to be patient but-"
Azriel's voice cracked mid sentence. He took a deep breath, and Eris had to strain his ears to hear him now.
"I can't. I can't live like this. Barely seeing you for weeks on end just to be brushed off I-" He was visibly shaking now, the tremor in his words reflected his state and his eyes, his beautiful hazel eyes had taken on a glassy sheen.
"Eris, it should pain you to be away from me-"
"It does" He promised, staring at Azriel's face, committing every detail to memory like he was going to slip out of his grasp.
"Not like it hurts me" Az was shaking his head, his heart on his sleeve.
Eris scoffed. "What are you talking about? I hate the distance just as much as you do, more, even. This week especially has been so painful-"
"Clearly not painful enough!"
"What do you mean 'Not painful enough'? It has been excruciating for me! How would you even know? You haven't been around-"
"Because you're not the one falling apart!"
"Of course I'm falling apart Azriel! You left! How was I supposed to feel about that?!"
"Nothing. You were supposed to feel absolutely nothing"
"What the fuck are you trying to say?" Eris was seething now. How dare he insinuate that this hadn't been hard on him too?
"That you. Don't. Care, until there are consequences"
Eris opened his mouth to retort, but was interrupted before he could. "I was gone for three hours. Three hours, Eris, before you even noticed I'd left. Three hours before you came out of your office like you'd said you would. 'My word to you will always be true, this I promise' that was one of our vows to each other, and I cannot count the amount of times you've broken it."
He was stunned into silence, the weight of it all crashing down on him hard. "You had been blissfully unaware while I second guessed our mating"
Tears were streaming down both their faces, wild and unrestrained. Their breathing was ragged, and despite the cacophony of emotions, they both just wanted to comfort the other. But too many feelings left unresolved prevented them from doing so, instead, they stewed in the silence, the only sounds being the occasional sniffle or sharp exhale.
"Azriel I- I'm so sorry. I didn't realise what all this was doing to you. I should have known, should have seen the signs. As your husband, as your mate I should have- Cauldrons Azriel, I can't express how sorry I am, words don't do it justice, but I will find a way to make it up to you. I will. I don't know how, yet, but that, I can promise you."
The shadow singer nods. Eris wants to ask what happens now, does he return, or will he stay in the sanctuary of the Night Court? He waits for him to say something, but is left empty handed. He is the one to nod this time, winnowing back to his court.
Eris lies awake, thinking of ways to make it up to Azriel. If it were anyone else, he'd formulate a plan to execute some grand gesture, but this was Azriel. Azriel does not do grand gestures. It should make it easier but instead, it leaves Eris walking circles in his head, tormenting himself with wanting to do more, but knowing his lover wouldn't like it, and everything else just feeling like it would fall short.
It wasn't until well into the night that Eris felt Azriel return to the forest house. He held his breath, both wishing for him to take the corridor to the bedroom he occupied (It didn't feel right to sleep in their shared bed without Az there) and praying he didn't. What could he say? He was nowhere near ready to talk to Azriel, yet that was all he wanted to do.
Azriel went to a different bedroom, one just a few passageways to the left. His heart sank, however he scolded himself saying it was for the best, and that he hadn't earned being in the same bed yet.
Although when a small little shadow crept up, twining itself in between Eris's long fingers, he couldn't help but bring the little creature closer to his face, and smile.
Time skip
Over the next two weeks, Eris tried his best to earn Azriel back, he had started by showing up at his door and asking him out on a date. He half thought that Azriel would decline and slam the door in his face but by some miracle, the shadowsinger found it in him to take Eris's olive branch.
That first date seemed to open the flood gates. Every other day they'd be out, in the forest, a village, they'd even gone out of Autumn once or twice. The Lords made sure to make their displeasure known and the piles of paperwork were stacking up again faster than Eris could make them go down, but he ignored it in favor of his mate.
He obviously couldn't neglect his High Lord duties completely, he still held audiences when requested, and he did what paperwork he could, but he'd finally taken a leap, and removed many of the lords from the board.
He still hadn't found replacements for all of them, but it was some much needed progress. Having people he could trust to surround him and try to guide his rule instead of the power hungry toads admittedly made it quite a bit easier. Eris felt like he was in control of his responsibilities for the first time in years, since he started his reign, actually.
But it wasn't until recently, that Azriel truly forgave him.
Eris had walked up to Azriel's door, just like he had numerous times in the past fortnight. He waited nervously for him to answer, running his fingers through his hair and smoothing out his clothes. He loved Azriel, truly, but he absolutely hated how he was reduced to a twenty year old with no experience every time he asked him out.
The door opened, and there stood the love of his life donning Autumn finery. They had gotten into many teasing arguments about the garments over the years, Azriel always claiming it was over the top and Eris countering that he was technically a High Lord now too, even if he didn't bare the title (Because Azriel had refused, not because Eris hadn't offered) so the clothes were befitting someone of his station.
Azriel had laughed uproariously at that.
"Hello," Azriel said from inside the door frame. "I don't believe we had a date scheduled, unless I'm mistaken?"
"You're not, mistaken, that is. I wanted to surprise you, if that's alright?" Azriel wasn't overly fond of surprises. To be frank, neither was Eris, but he'd think this might be an exception.
Azriel raised both eyebrows. "Consider me surprised"
Eris blushed. Fucking. Blushed. What in the name of the mother did this male do to him?
"Would you- ahem- Would you please come with me into the dining hall?" Eris said, clearing his voice when it came out a bit too timid.
Azriel nodded slowly. "Sure, just let me change into something else"
"No one else will be there, so just that is fine." He insisted, because if he waits any longer, he might get cold feet and back out.
Once again surprise spreads across the Illyrians face, usually it is Eris who is so adamant on being 'properly adorned' for such occasions, even in the comfort of their own home.
"Alright" He says, closing the door behind him. "Lead the way, High Lord"
Oh, Azriel was trying to kill him, wasn't he? He never calls him High Lord unless he's angry, or wants Eris's attention on him for... other reasons. Much more pleasurable ones. He really hopes it's the second option and gulps as he steps in front of his mate to lead.
He holds the door as his beloved shadow steps in, taking in the spread laid out before them.
"Apologies if it's not on par with the usual cuisine served, I'm not the best cook, even with specific, and detailed instructions."
The male whips around staring at him. "You made all this?"
Eris nods "I did. Figured I had to make up for the dinner I'd missed. And, you know, all the ones before that." He breathes in deeply, preparing himself for his next words. "Look, I know that what I did was wrong, even if I never meant to hurt you, I did. And I'm not afraid to admit that I still don't quite know how to fully bring you back to me, but I-"
The air is knocked out of him by a body colliding with his, preventing the rest of his speech from leaving his lips.
"You just did" The words are mumbled into the junction of his neck, but he hears them just fine. The stress, and tension melts away as he wraps his arms around Azriel for the first time in way too long.
Tears of joy appear in the corners of his eyes but they are wiped away by his mate's thumbs as his scarred hands cup Eris's face. The words he so desperately needed falling effortlessly from the spymaster's lips.
"I love you, and I forgive you." Their emotions flood the bond and they fall to the floor together, holding one another in a tight embrace.
"Thank you, I promise, I will never treat you like that again. Never."
A few days later
Sunlight fell through the curtains onto their faces, gently waking up the two lovers. They were having a slow morning, it was ten and they still hadn't even gotten up for breakfast. They chose to instead lay in each other's embrace, enjoying the tranquility of it.
Tranquility that was broken by a knock. Eris sighed, running his hands over his face. He stretched and quickly threw on some pants along with a robe to at least cover himself a little.
He opened the door, shocking the servant on the other side who hastily lowered her gaze upon realising her High Lord was shirtless, choosing instead to speak to the floor rather than look him in the eyes.
"High Lord, I'm greatly sorry to disturb you, but the Lords are requesting a meeting on an improved payment plan for the agricultural contributors of Autumn, as well as some trade routes."
He nods, thanking her. When he walks back, Azriel is still in bed, eyes closed, the covers only concealing half of him. Eris smiled and dreaded leaving him.
"The lords want to hold a meeting about a few comings and goings of Autumn." He was sure Azriel had heard, especially with the little shadows constantly whispering information to him.
His mate only hummed, the picture of relaxation. "It's alright, you can go" Damn Azriel and his uncanny ability to read him, of course he knew that was the real reason why he'd repeated the information to him.
"Are you sure?" He asked, he never wanted to feel that again, never wanted to drive his mate away, so he just had to ask one more time.
"Yes, I'm sure." Eris accepted this. If Az really wasn't ok with it, he would say something.
Eris busied himself with getting ready, he took a quick shower, combed his hair and got dressed. It wasn't until he had just finished primping and was almost out the door that Azriel spoke up, calling Eris's name.
"Yes, my love?"
"I'm going to organise lunch for us, so I'll be waiting for you in the dining hall, go there once you're done." Eris stayed in the doorway, sensing there was more. "And afterwards... would you like to mess the bed with me?" A mischievous grin painted his face.
"Always"
A/n: That's the end! I hope you enjoyed, it was a bit longer than I thought it'd be but I'm just glad it's done on time. This was the first fic I've ever written proper angst for, hope it wasn't horrible.
Have a very Merry Christmas
From: @azrielsshadows42
To: @gravitysthrall
Thank you @acotargiftexchange
#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#azris#azriel x eris#azris fanfiction#azris supremacy#pro azris#azris fic#acotar fanfiction#azriel shadowsinger#azriel spymaster#azriel acotar#azriel x eris vanserra#eris fanfic#eris fanfiction#eris acotar#eris vanserra#eris vandaddy#High lord of autumn#eris x azriel#high lord eris#secret Santa#acotar gift exchange#gift exchange
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Hii Val, was wondering if you could do a Kirk smut, maybe distracting him as he's playing guitar??
This turned out to be quite long, hopefully this is what you had in mind 😊
Chords of desire
Kirk Hammett x Reader ☆ smut, light degradation
On a lazy and rainy Sunday afternoon, the sound of Kirk's guitar filled the cozy living room. He sat on the couch, his fingers moving swiftly across the strings, his brow furrowed in concentration. As I watched him from afar, I couldn't help but smile at his determination.
Occasionally, a swear word would escape his lips as he messed up a note or a riff. I chuckled to myself, knowing that Kirk was a perfectionist when it came to his music. He would never admit it, but I could tell that he was getting frustrated with himself.
I debated whether to suggest that he take a break, but I knew he would just brush off my suggestion in that moment of creativity striking. Kirk was the type of person who would push himself to the limit, constantly striving to improve and perfect his craft.
The rain continued to patter against the window, creating a soothing backdrop to Kirk's music. The room was filled with a sense of calm and contentment, despite Kirk's occasional outbursts of frustration.
I watched as he closed his eyes, lost in the music he was creating. His fingers danced across the strings, creating beautiful melodies that filled the room.
As Kirk sat there, playing guitar, he looked beautiful with his eyes closed, soft features focusing on the melody that came from the instrument in his hands and I couldn't help but admire him, feeling a familiar need and craving for him coming up inside of me as I kept watching my boyfriend.
Feeling bored with nothing to do, I imagined what me and Kirk could be doing instead of him being occupied by his holy grail and I bit my lip as I kept peering at him, horniness now added to my boredom.
With each strum of the guitar strings, Kirk's fingers danced across the fretboard with a rhythmic precision that seemed almost hypnotic to watch. The high notes reverberated through the air, mingling with the scent of freshly brewed coffee from the kitchen.
His profile was a study in concentration, the occasional wisp of dark hair brushing against his cheeks.
Lost in the music, Kirk remained oblivious to my intense gaze, my mind racing with fantasies of how I'd rather have him occupied - perhaps tangled in the sheets, his body slick with sweat as I explored every inch of him. A flush crept up my neck, heat pooling between my thighs as my imagination ran wild.
A smirk suddenly appeared on my face as I made my way over to the sofa where Kirk sat with his guitar, stopping behind him. I gently wrapped my arms around his neck, making him stop mid-riff.
"Baby, I'm kind of occupied right now." He told me, no intend to remove the instrument from his hands.
"I know, but I'm bored." I pouted as my lips found his neck, placing a tender kiss on his exposed skin.
Kirk couldn't help but sigh as I began to pepper his neck with kisses, his fingers pausing over the strings as I continued my little attack on him. "Hey, I'm trying to practice, we have a gig in two days."
"I know, but I'm sure you could use a little break don't you?" I tried again but Kirk was stubborn and shook his head.
Kirk's resistance only seemed to fuel my desire, the challenge of getting him to put down his beloved guitar. My kisses trailed up his neck, breath hot against his ear as I whispered, "Come on, Kirk, just ten minutes. I promise I won't distract you for too long."
Despite my coaxing, Kirk remained steadfast, his grip on the instrument unyielding. I could sense the tension in his body, a battle between his dedication to the music and the undeniable pull of my touch. It was almost enough to make me give up...almost.
Instead, I decided to take a different approach. I shifted to bypass the sofa and took a seat right next to Kirk, getting comfortable, propping my head up as I watched him with a smirk.
Seeing me sit down beside him, Kirk's focus wavered for just a split second before he quickly regained it, not wanting to let me break his concentration. He felt my eyes on him, watching every move he made, studying him.
The way I was smirking didn't go unnoticed either. The corners of his mouth twitched slightly upwards into a small smile that was quickly suppressed. Despite the nervousness bubbling within him, he kept playing, his fingers dancing across the strings with practiced ease.
Kirk glanced over at me again, his gaze lingering longer this time. My proximity was making it harder for him to concentrate, but he refused to give in. "Babe, I told you I need to practice. Whatever you want right now can wait."
"Alright, then I just stay here and watch."
I said and tried to behave for the moment, waiting for Kirk to continue his essential task before teasingly sliding a hand up his thigh.
Kirk sighed deeply, his frustration evident in the tightening of his jaw. He shifted uncomfortably under my touch, feeling a mix of annoyance and anticipation. His fingers continued their rhythmic dance across the guitar strings, the soft melody filling the room.
His mind however was elsewhere, on my teasing hand slowly creeping up his thigh.
Kirk gave me a stern look, lips set in a firm line as he reached out, placing his hand over mine. He gave it a firm squeeze, a silent warning for me to back off. "This is the last warning."
Kirk maintained his composure, the stern look never leaving his face. Yet, despite his words, there was a hint of anticipation in his voice.
Testing the waters to tease him even more, I pushed my body closer to his, pressing myself against his side. My free hand moved up to his chest, nails lightly dragging across his shirt as I leaned in closer. My lips brushed against his ear as I whispered, "Or what? What are you going to do, stop playing?"
My other hand continued its upward journey, moving higher on his thigh until it was dangerously close to the bulge forming in his pants covered by the instrument in his lap.
"Okay, enough!" Kirk suddenly stopped plucking the strings and grabbed my wrist harshly with a threatening expression before putting his guitar aside. "Since you're that fucking needy, get on your knees."
My eyes widened at Kirk's abrupt command, but a thrill of excitement coursed through me as I quickly complied, sinking to my knees in front of him on the carpeted floor.
As I gazed up at him, Kirk's gaze was intense, a mix of dominance and desire. His free hand reached out to brush a strand of hair behind my ear, his touch surprisingly gentle considering the stern tone he'd used earlier. "Look at me," he commanded quietly.
When I met his eyes, he tilted my chin up with his thumb, studying my face intently. After a moment, he leaned down, his lips hovering just inches from mine.
"That's what you wanted, right? Choking on my fucking dick," he murmured against my mouth.
Kirk's words sent a shiver down my spine and I nodded, the raw lust in his voice making my core clench with anticipation. As he spoke, his hand deftly unbuckled his belt, then unzipped his jeans. He pulled them and his boxers down just enough to free his throbbing erection, not bothering to remove the garments fully.
The thick length sprang forth and Kirk wrapped his fingers around it, giving himself a few slow strokes as he continued to hold my gaze captive. "Open wide, baby," he growled, guiding his cock toward my parted lips. "Take every inch like a good and needy girl."
The dominant command in his tone left no room for argument and I pushed my lips down his shaft, slowly with just the right amount of pressure to leave him gasping at my eagerness.
Kirk's sharp intake of breath rewarded my careful technique as my warm, wet mouth enveloped his cock. Moaning low in his throat, Kirk tangled his fingers in my hair, guiding me along his impressive length.
I relaxed my throat, allowing him to slide deeper into the silky constriction. Each inch felt thicker than the last, stretching my lips and pressing insistently against the inside of my mouth. "Fuck yes, just like that," Kirk groaned, eyes rolling back in bliss.
I sucked on his cock like a slut before letting go only to lick my way up his length, taking the tip into my mouth with gentle force, my lips engulfing him, tongue teasing the head until it got too much.
Kirk abruptly yanked me off his cock, a string of saliva connecting my lips to the glistening head for a fleeting moment before breaking. He leaned back into the cushions of the sofa, his breathing ragged, and glared down at me with a mixture of frustration and dark hunger. "Strip. Now."
I hesitated for a second, as I stared up at him but swiftly began peeling off my top, revealing the sheer lacy fabric beneath. Kirk's gaze raked over my exposed skin, his chest rising and falling with each deepening breath.
Once my upper body was bare, he pointed to my shorts. "Everything," he demanded, his eyes never leaving mine.
As I leisurely stepped out of my shorts and panties, I watched Kirk shed his clothes off his lower body rapidly, unclad legs spread in front of me, cock standing tall, before he forcefully pulled me into his lap with a mischievous smile.
As soon as my naked form settled onto Kirk's muscular thighs, his hands roamed over my curves, mapping every inch of exposed skin. His fingers danced along my spine, sending shivers down my back, before dipping between my breasts to tweak and pinch my nipples into hard peaks.
"Mmm beautiful. That's what you wanted, right?" he murmured, his breath hot against my ear as he nipped at the lobe.
With that, I nodded eagerly and he shifted me slightly, positioning me directly above his throbbing erection. The head nudged against my slick entrance, teasing and probing for entry.
My hips instinctively rocked forward, seeking more contact, more friction.
Kirk chuckled darkly, the sound vibrating through me. "Impatient little thing, aren't you?"
I blinked as our eyes met before reaching down between our bodies to align him with my dripping mound. As I sunk down on Kirk's length, I gasped audibly, his hungry gaze tracing my curves before bending down to eagerly kiss my breasts as we started moving.
Kirk's lips trailed fiery paths across my chest, pausing to suckle at a pert nipple while his hips surged upward, driving himself deeper inside of me. Each powerful thrust sent waves of pleasure crashing through my senses, making my inner walls clench around him in response.
My hands tangled in his hair, holding him close as he lavished attention on my breasts. Lost in the haze of lust, I began to ride him with increasing urgency, my movements becoming more desperate with every little pant slipping from my lips.
Kirk met each downward plunge with a corresponding upward thrust, creating a primal rhythm that seemed to synchronize our very beings.
Eventually, he broke away from my breast, his eyes blazing with intensity as he captured my mouth in a searing kiss.
Kirk wrapped his arms around me tightly as he passionately moved his plush lips against mine, tongues twining around each other and I could only moan into the kiss, overwhelmed from all the pleasure.
As the passionate kiss deepened, Kirk's tongue dominated mine, claiming my mouth just as his cock claimed my body.
He swallowed my moans, drinking in my pleasure like the finest wine. One hand slid down to grip my hip, guiding my movements as I rode him harder and faster.
The new angle allowed him to hit that special spot inside of me with every thrust, sending jolts of electricity shooting up my spine. My nails raked down his back, leaving red lines in their wake as I clung to him desperately.
Breaking the kiss, Kirk buried his face in the crook of my neck, biting and sucking at the sensitive skin there. He marked me as his, branding me with his passion.
"Kirk, I'm getting close!" I whimpered, my nerve endings on fire as I felt him all around me, electrified by every kiss, touch and movement.
"That's it," he growled against my throat, his voice rough with desire. "Take what you need. Let go for me."
At my breathless admission, Kirk's grip on my hips tightened almost painfully as he increased the force and speed of his thrusts. The obscene sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, mingling with my escalating moans and cries of pleasure.
"I've got you," he panted against your skin, his words punctuated by sharp thrusts. "Cum for me, baby. Let me feel you fall apart on my cock."
One hand snaked between our sweat-slicked bodies, finding my aching clit. He circled the sensitive nub with ruthless precision, pushing me closer and closer to the brink of oblivion.
My inner muscles fluttered and clenched around him, the coil of tension in my core winding tighter and tighter until finally, it snapped. Ecstasy exploded through me in a blinding wave, my vision whiting out as I came undone in his arms.
I cried out in delight as the orgasm hit me, Kirk panting into my ear, an angelic sound as I saw stars before my eyes, my head dizzy as I felt him plunge into me from beneath to chase his release like a desperate man.
Kirk moaned deeply as he felt my pussy clamp down on him, milking his shaft with rhythmic contractions. The sensation was almost too much to bear, and he knew he wouldn't last much longer under the onslaught of my intense pleasure.
With a final thrust, Kirk buried himself to the hilt inside of me, his cock pulsating as he unleashed a torrent of hot seed deep within my spasming channel, marking me irrevocably as his.
As the aftershocks subsided, Kirk collapsed back against the couch, pulling me into his embrace. He cradled me against his chest, his heart still racing from the force of his climax. "Fuck, that was incredible," he breathed, pressing a tender kiss to the top of my head.
"I knew you couldn't resist me. You're so easy to distract." I chuckled breathlessly as I leaned my naked body against Kirk as he slipped out of me.
Kirk smirked at my playful accusation, his arms wrapping around me possessively as he held me close. "Easy to distract? Maybe. But impossible to ignore when you're this irresistible."
#kirk hammett smut#kirk hammett imagine#kirk hammett fanfic#kirk hammett x reader#kirk hammett imagines#kirk hammett fic#kirk hammett x you#metallica fic#metallica fanfiction#metallica imagines#metallica x reader#metallica smut
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Imagine going to an Onsen with Shanks
After scouting a new island with your captain
You: ugh I stink
Shanks: Stomping through the woods will do that to you... How about we stop for a bath, before heading back to home? *Points at a public Onsen.*
You: I dunno
Shanks: it'll be fine, come one *grabs your hand and pulls you into the bath house* Two for the mixed bath please.
You: the mixed bath?
Shanks: yeah, they're usually empty this time of day.
You: is that your only reason?
Shanks: no, I need help washing, seeing as I'm down an arm.
You: *grumbles, but presses your face into his back out of embarrassment* you're unbelievable.
In the shower area
Shanks: *humming softly as you scrub his back with an exfoliating towel until you get to his right shoulder* Careful not so hard
You: I'm barely applying any pressure.
Shanks: my shoulders are often really tense, and have been since loosing my arm.
You: hmm let me try something, *digs your thumb into the sore muscles of his neck and shoulder*
Shanks: *moans* oh fuck
You: that hurt?
Shanks: no, don't fucking stop
You: I should finish scrubbing first, I'll help you unwind in the bath, the hot water should help.
Shanks: *huffs in frustration as you resume exfoliating his body* fine, just don't forget the front.
You: Excuse me?
Shanks: my front also needs to be scrubbed, arms and legs too.
In ten minutes
You: alright I'm finished.
Shanks: your turn, *spins around and pulls you against his chest*
You: *yelps* I can wash myself!
Shanks: I know you can, I just want to return the favor. Wring out the towel for me.
You: boss -
Shanks: *pulls the towel out of your hands and starts to run it over your skin*
You: *whines when he finishes your back, and he tugs you into his lap to start on your front*
Shanks: *kisses your neck as his towel-clad hand gropes at your chest* see this is not so bad, yeah?
You: I suppose not, Captain.
Shanks: good because I'm just getting started *slides the soaked towel down your body to start between your legs*
In the hot spring
You: *more hot and bothered than you care to admit*
Shanks: if I recall correctly you promised me a massage.
You: I suppose I did, but I can't do it from the front.
Shanks: of course you can, let me show you *repositions you, so you're straddling his lap and gives you a dirty grin*
You: *knows he's doing this on purpose and decides to torment him back* alright I'll get started then *starts to rub his neck, while grinding down on his hard cock.*
Shanks: *blushes and moans,* oh fuck, sweetheart I didn't know you were so talented at this.
You: *leans forward, so your mouth was dangerously close to his* I've had quite a bit of practice.
Shanks: *starting to feel drunk and short of breath, so he pulls you away*
You: *smirks* aww what's wrong boss?
Shanks: can't handle this and the steam.
You: then let me move behind you, maybe you'll be able to breathe better.
Shanks: you did that on purpose.
You: Does that sound like me?
Shanks: *chuckles* alright you win, do it your way. It's probably for the best, if I came I'd probably have to pay some sort of cleaning fee.
You: *slides behind him and resumes rubbing his back* a wise decision, the quarter master would be mad at you since he'd have to pay it.
Shanks: and none of them would believe me for a minute if I told them I came because you were humping me.
You: Indeed.
Shanks: come here *twists backwards and pulls you into a kiss* perhaps we can continue this back on the ship?
You Maybe
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#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece imagine#one piece scenario#red hair shanks#red haired shanks#akagami no shanks#shanks x reader#red hair shanks x reader#akagami no shanks x reader#red haired shanks x reader#from the depths of the dragon's hoard#tma original#8/30/23#no beta we die like men
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Happy Anni-box-sary!! :DDDD
Whew! It's been a year since I've started writing on this platform (and in general fsgsdjkfghjadskfh), and what a wild ride it has been. Ups and downs scattered throughout the year, but I really wouldn't have it any other way :uwuge:
All that said, let's move onto the box 2024 recap!
Yuri fics I've written: 8
Fly in the Night Trip
Love in the Night Train
Juicy Juicy
Friday
Adrenaline
Enjoy
I Got All I Need
Like It Like I Love It
buncha drabbles I didnt count, some of them fluff, some of them angst, all of them box 📦‼
Yuri fics other people have written: 6
@fillinforlater's Friends that can Keep a Secret
@birchleavesdawn's Bitter Taste
@xshadowdelta's Former Manager pt. 1: Back in Town
@usedpidemo's Cruel Flower
@prael's Reality
@leafostuff's Operant Conditioning
Non-Yuri fics I've written: 11
in my best attempt not to double count when there was more than one idol in the fic (lmao),
1 for soloist Chaeyeon
1 for Kiss of Life
2 for woo!ah!
2 for tripleS
2 for Kep1er
3 for fromis_9
Funnest fics to write:
Hell Week: despite not doing sins's prompt justice, I really did enjoy how I built Yubin and OC's character, even as the writer i fell in love with how sweet Yubin came to be, and while I do think the sex could have been fluffier, i do like how i wrote the ending :DDD
Cute and Caring Noona from Apartment 424: i think deep down inside i knew the apartment thing was gonna come back, even at the time, though i had to promise myself it wouldn't be a series. Yujin and Xiaoting are still a killer duo i'd love to write but it wouldn't fit that well with what i've decided on what the apartment fics will be, instead i'm going with the direction that The Sultry and Pervy Soda in Apartment 307 went and go from there
Like It Like I Love It: EASILY my top 1 from this year. it was everything reader box would have wanted in a yuri fic: a casual relationship, a possibility that there's something more in it, hot sex (literally), and just the right amount (maybe a bit too little) of showing off babygirl yul. i really hope this isn't peak box but going back to why i started writing in the first place, which is that i wanted to see more quality yuri fics, this was something that if i were still a reader would have sated me for at least another year. good job box!
Idols/Groups I've come to know:
Kiss of Life: I think they debuted before me? I noticed Natty first bc ofc I did 😭 but quickly fell in love with how Bobsky just vibes so well with them aaaaaaa
tripleS: I started paying attention around Girl's Capitalism but I knew of them since Generation. I still know only like ten of them and still need to look up whether they're of age or what number S they are but I've written the group thrice now so worth :DDDD
Kep1er: zozi was tough for wizones and I'm not exception, so there was a lot of animosity to this group starting out. I only really started loving this group because of choiyuj, and it was me falling in love with that tiktok that cookies n seggs noona was ever made and it's been upwards ever since
Collabs:
One Heck of a Joyride with @leafostuff: simultaneously this took way too long and not long enough LMAO we started in Feb and released in May, if u can remember Best Job Ever and Like It Like I Love It came out in May too so that was hectic for me. but it's my first and to date only long fic and I hope someday to surpass it in terms of word count and idol nuguness :sitt:
Prompts:
@i-am-lifeform24's Curated Companions: this first major prompt I took part in, where I wrote Dito Muna Tayo :nolookk: it got me attention I didnt know how to feel abt (I still don't tbh) but it was a major step in the right direction to temper my expectations of myself: it reminded me to write for me
@msafterhours's Seasons: this was a major L for me jfkgjslahhf I wrote A Little Goes a Long Way, misunderstanding the prompt "Seasons" for "Seasoning" and making a cooking fic instead. it was a great laugh with him tho, and a memory I come back to fondly
@mintwithchoco's Favorite Song: I wrote Orange-Tinted Sunset with Sticky in mind but promising mint I'd break Belle's heart lmao, at the time my current favorite song switched from that to Nothing and it all just fell in place. I had the idea a long time ago for Haneul but this was the perfect chance to broaden my horizons yet again, and to my dismay it proved @0cta9on right that I kinda was okay at all three genres of fics that touched on after all :bearlazy:
Growth:
can't remember if I said it out loud on the tl but im not a serious writer! that just means that I dont consciously aim to improve how I write and I'm totally fine with the skills and style I have now, and any exp gained or skills learned is has been passively achieved
that said, I'm really so so happy with Fly in the Night Trip and Love in the Night Train. In my first ever fic i said i wanted my next work to be a smut, and that i would be able to write more of what i wanted on my blog soon. Enjoy was both of those, and i even got to write so much more of my ult bias throughout the year and then some. you could call it self-serving, or as @capslocked so eloquently put it, unconsidered readers, all of you. :sitt:
thats why im really happy to be able to come full circle with another fluff in Love in the Night Train, because i feel like it concludes such an awesome year in such an awesome way. id tell 2023 box that just keeping at it wouldve worked out so well, but the extra effort to write just a tiny bit better, to listen to @midnightdancingsol's advice, to stick with it even though work fucked us up (and still does) is going to be well worth it
Hiatuses: 2
ok obviously im not as proud of this one. but each time i did, it was me reevaluating how I run the blog and what sort of stuff I'm getting myself into. it was well worth taking a step back from writing and just figuring out what exactly I wanted to do, and the breaks did wonders for how I paced myself.
these were me asking myself questions that struck the very core of how I conduct this cacophony of a kpop smut blog. it made me aware of arbitrary rules I was holding myself to, and gave me a chance to do away with them. everyone has to clear out their inventory every once in a while, and these were mine :DDDD
Everything else:
ive stopped tracking notes bc I learned since I occasionally write nugu and non-smut to never expect 100+ and I'm always pleasantly surprised when I get there slfjglah but yeah, there's better things to keep track of like what I did above
these are what really matter to me: yuri, writing, and the community i've become part of. while I do think the 1022 club is a fun milestone to celebrate, anything else is a bit more work than i care to make a separate post about (except maybe on bluesky lmao)
at my core, im a glassy, a true fan of the little ball of sunshine that is jo yuri. i keep saying that as long as im able to make one of you lovely readers a fan of her too, i'll know i'm doing good! so to all you box followers, all you honorary glassys, please tune in to yuri! she just released her tenth(!!!) OST entitled Spring Days Pass, will appear in Squid Game season 2 which premieres on Dec. 26 on Netflix, and is bound to have a comeback lined up soon :cuteplead: please join me in supporting her! :DDDD
Aaaaand that's it I think? A wild ride for sure, and I'm happy to have spent it here doing what I love. Hopefully all you readers also show greater support to my fellow writers and friends on here, and as always, stay tuned for more box fics in the future!
Thanks for reading, and see you all in October Autumn Box season 2!!
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Kai Parker x Fem! Reader. Smut.
Wc:3185
Hope you enjoy!! :)
DO NOT copy my work please!
My friends would never approve. And neither did I anymore. One time. That had been it. Enough of him I'd had.. That was a big lie. But I kept telling myself it, cause maybe if I said it often enough it'd turn out to be true.
I hadn't seen him the last two weeks. Good. Because I can't face him right now.. Hell I can't face him ever again.
Caroline chewed on her bottom lip nervously. "Have you seen Stefan yet? I invited him over today. Though I'm afraid... He may not take me up on my offer."
"Relax. He'll be here soon." I sent my friend a reasurring smile as she let out a breath. Slowly I looked around. So many people. I should've never agreed to come to a party like this one. He was bound to walk in at any second. I knew him a bit. Party crasher. Sex on legs.
No one knew. I kept it that way. He had luckily for me- Agreed to keep it quiet too. Despite him not wanting to... I wasn't one to randomly hook-up. Not my cup of tea. But I couldn't resist him...
I just could not. His adorable smile. Those white teeth. Blue eyes. His hair- Rings! Damnit. I need to get over it..
Another drink. And another. I wouldn't allow myself to get drunk. Absolutely not.
Taking a deep breath, in through my nose and out through my mouth and... Repeat.
See I'm fine! Totally fi-.
"Mr. Sociopath at ten o'clock." Care whispered to me as I gave a curd nod, my head slowly turning, I took my time, pretending to scan the crowd first before I'd look at who had come inside..
My jaw clenched, whole body tensing.
Shit. Keep it cool.
Holy shit, he had about a three day stubble. Black boots, dark blue jeans, cuffed.. Jeans... A belt, rings, two bracelets. Both black. One looked like a string. The other like black beads. He wore a simple grey t-shirt. Simple but effective none the less. Then.. A leather fucking jacket- Where had he gotten that from-.
"Bastard." I mutter through clenched teeth. His eyes search the crowd too. Until finding mine where they stay and a shit eating grin lights up his face. In no time he's taking big strides over to where Caroline and I are and-.
"Hi." God this guy is quick. I look up at him. "What do you wa-."
He puts on this adorable smile. "You're ignoring my texts. Calls. I showed up at your house... About eight- if not more- Times. Why did you leave?"
Caroline her lips part in a knowing way. I shake my head. No. No. I can't have anyone know of this. Not even her.
"Malachai-." I grit out. He gives a nod. "Hm?" His eyes not once leaving mine.
"Answer me darlin'. Why did you leave my place?" He asked. "I made-." He looks down with a frown. First time I've ever seen him look... Uncertain?
I sigh. Take his hand and pull him away into an empty storage room, Liv is my friend.... She's the owner of this place she lets me..
"Oh~ Freaky.."
Pinch.
"Ow! What was that for-."
"I only have a few minutes before Care will suspect something..." I turn on the lights.
He stares at me with this.. This look I can't quite put my finger on.
"Why did you leave.. My place.. Y/n?" He asks me calmly to which I start to chew on my lower lip.
A few seconds of silence pass.
"Want me to do all the talking? Fine. I will." He nods.
"I woke up.. Right- Wait.. picture this.. I.. Woke up.. No.. Picture this. I'm naked and-."
I groan. "Kai.." His lips press together for a second.
"Sorry. I woke up-," He continues. "feeling.. Happy, very happy, giddy, I guess, so I take a look around. You've gone.. I don't hear the shower running. I listen, nothing. So... I frown to myself. Did I do something?"
He runs a hand down the back of his neck. "Then. I find your note. And I get the biggest stupidest smile back on my face-.."
Hey, so.. I'll be back in a bit..
I promise!! Uhm. So I am kinda
running some errands.. You know.
I will be back, haven't even had breakfast yet! ~Y/n <3.
"I go downstairs after my shower. And after I changed my sheets. And make you pancakes. With little smiley faces in syrup. I prayed you'd be back soon so the faces don't get ruined. And I sat on my couch. Waiting. An hour passes. Okay.. Maybe you just left.. Right?"
The tip of his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek.
"Two, three, four, five... Hours-."
'Hey. You done yet?'
'Y/n.. It's been two hours.'
'Why aren't you answering my texts?'
'What's wrong?'
'Did I.. Do something?'
'Y/n.'
'Y/n I'm sorry.'
"You ignored me. All I want to know is why? I even put a blueberry or two.. Or three or four or ten on your pancakes. What did I do? You promised me you'd come back."
My throat closes up further. I feel like I can't breathe. "I haven't even fucking changed my pillow cover! Every night I lay awake and when I'm lucky I pick up on the scent of you. Still left on my pillow case. It's almost faded completely. But I refuse to change it."
My mind flashes back to that night.. His subble against the inside of my thighs while he worked his tongue on me. The faces he made. The lewd and fucking hot faces he made. The way his mouth fit perfectly on mine, on my pussy, around my nipples. On my whole body... The dirty things he whispered. The way he gazed his sharp fangs across the vein in my neck but didn't feed on me.
How his hands felt. Grasping me everywhere. How he sounded. How he looked above me. How he looked under me. How his huge cock felt in my mouth. How it felt inside me. How he had been the best sex of my entire life. How deeply in love I am with hi-.
I had been too lost in my mind.. To realize he.. The door closed. He left. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. How I must've looked like a fool not saying anything and how fucking embarrassed he must be for admitting all this. Without getting an answer.
I rush out the storage room. "Kai!" I call out. "Kai!!" As my eyes hurriedly try to look for him. Nowhere.. He-. I lost him. I fucking lost him... I didn't even explain myself.. Goddamnit...
For the first time in two whole weeks I text him. Call him. 'Please Kai let me explain.' 'I didn't mean to.' I wince.
I'm such a bitch.
● ● ● ● ●
The next few days are spent sulking by me. I text and call. But he ignores me. I even go by his home. But he ignores me.. So this is how he felt these last few weeks?
I take in a breath of fresh air when something dawns on me. I need to go there.. Now.. He can't hide from me forever.
I'm such an idiot. I should've gone back here the first day after he left.
I open the door and walk inside the Mystic Grill. There he is, drinking his feelings away, if only I had thought of this immediately. Of course he'd go back here.
He looks at me, he looks sad, so fucking sad..
I walk over to him and slip into the bar stool located closest next to his. I watch as Kai downs a shot.
"Kai please.. I am so sorry please let me explain-."
"This one is on the house." The bartender winks at him. "Just like the rest."
He smiles. "Thanks." Before getting up to his feet and walking off, I don't hesitate and immediately follow after him.
"Frankly- I am not in the mood to talk or see you right now." Kai sticks his hands into his pockets and quickens the pace of his steps.
"I know, like you did last time I will now speak. You don't have to. I just want you to listen to me." He doesn't reply.
"I woke up.. Looking around. My body felt these weird tingles. I was so sore, but in the best way possible. Then I saw you, you were still sleeping with your head in the crook of my neck. I ran my fingers through your hair and you let out a sigh against my neck, I could feel your lips curling up into a smile. Even if you were sleeping.."
I ran my hand down my jacket. Smoothing out whatever I can.
"And what I felt in that moment scared the living shit out of me. My stomach did weird flips. I got hot all.. Over. However I took a deep breath and managed to move out from under you, even from off the bed without waking you up."
I bite my lower lip nervously.
"You turned to lay on your back. The sheets all messed up. You had kicked them off your torso, I watched for a fee seconds.. Probably even minutes as your chest rose and fell with the way you were breathing. You looked so at ease. So peaceful, so gorgeous.. I wished I could join you again.. Cause waking up in your arms was the best thing ever."
He didn't show any emotion besides the way his jaw ticked slightly there was nothing unusual about him.
"I got dressed. My panties were ripped so I sneakily stole your boxers." I smile vaguely At the memory. "What I felt.. Feel for you scared me. I wrote the note. Pressed a kiss to your lips. Ran my hands through your hair just one more time and then fleed. Was I planning on coming back after writing the note? Part of me wanted to.. But I didn't. I didn't because I knew. That if I did. I would never want to leave. I would want to spend the rest of my life with you. And that's not something you would have wanted. At least that's what I told myself. So I tried to let you go.. Ever since."
I didnt realize we stopped walking and his hands were cupping my cheeks. "Y/n. Listen to me. I may.. Look it-." He smirked. "But. I am not one to just sleep with anyone I meet. I am not one to jump into bed with the first girl that offers. I hadn't slept with anyone since I'd gotten out of the prison world besides you."
"Because I was secretly waiting on you. I wouldn't have cared if we ended up not having sex that night. I would've been over the moon with just the talking and out dancing together."
"It's not about the sex for me it's about you. Why can't you see that. Why did you run away from me.. I know you felt it too. Our connection that night-.. Went beyond anything.." He tries to search my eyes, desperately.
"I'm so sorry. I got so scared. It came to me so quickly... And I felt so much, so fast. That it scared me away. I am so in love with you it scares me shitless.''
Kai's lips part slightly as he sucks in a breath. I just realize what I confessed on accident.
"Fuck." He breathes out shaking his head as he wraps his arms around me. A gesture that comes as totally unexpected. But I happily accept it. Hugging him back.
"I'm not good with feelings at all. But what I do know is that I feel.. A lot.. For you and that scares me too. But it doesn't make me want to run.. I.. I don't want to run away from you. All I know is I wanna be as close to you as possible."
I can't help the smile forming on my lips as we both slowly let go of our embrace.
"Come back home with me.. I really want you to taste my pancakes... We can pretend these past few weeks didn't happen? You just came back... From your errands.." He gives me a hopeful look and I nod.
"Let's go big boy."
● ● ● ● ●
His pancakes are the best I've ever had.... His movie choices are amazing... His cuddles are the best. He's so... Warm.. And hard.. Soft too. All in the right places.
After the movies.. He decides to take a shower while I wait for him on his bed. We planned on falling asleep together too. Taking things slow.. Wanting to discover what our feelings really mean.
"Y/n! I'm done! You can come in immediately after me so I can leave the shower running!" He calls out to me as I obey and walk into the bathroom. His mirror is all fogged up so I draw a smiley face on it and a heart.
I hear the rain of water get louder. Meaning it's all hitting the floor. Meaning he just got out of the shower. "Awh.. A heart." I hear from behind me as I take a shaky breath when he moves closer to me.
Wiping away most the condence on the mirror. I dare to look up. He's looking right at me from the mirror. "Undress then darlin'." He smirks.
Smooth fucker-.
I give a nod and take a deep breath before I undress with his eyes on me. However Kai is getting dry himself too.
The sound of the water hitting the shower floor gets fainter and fainter. My heartbeat gets louder and louder and faster.. And faster, I can hear it loud and clear. Drumming in my ears.
Once I'm fully undressed I turn around. Facing him, he's blinking quickly a few times. My eyes go up and down again and again.
He's completely naked. His towel hung up on a small rack.
I watch him standing there. Damp messed up hair, beautiful face.. His adam's apple and collarbone visible. His pecs sculpted, nipples seem slightly hard. His chest heaving with the way he's breathing. Seems to be quite quick.
Like my own.
He has abs. Slight abs. Not too much. Just perfect. His waist is slightly curvy, curved inwards towards his hips, in the most masculine way possible. His v-line. Happy trail leads down to an area with dark curls.. Not too much hair overall though- Which leads to-.
That.
His cock is perfect. Long, thick and so hard. He's.. Hard. My mouth nearly waters at the sight.
His thighs are thick and strong. Just like his calves and even his feet are perfect. Don't get me started on his big arms- And those big, skilled hands with long fingers-.
"Kai." I mumble to which he shakes his head. "Slow." He just says. I nod in agreement even though I don't agree. The dampness between my legs says enough. Just like the way my legs wobble as I make my way over and into his shower.
I don't even think I'm in complete control of myself when the shower turns off and I walk back out without getting myself too wet.
I step back on the towel he has on his bathroom floor. I'm met with a Kai who looks at me confused. He opens his mouth to speak but before he gets the chance to. I push him back against the counter, lean up to him and kiss him.
Passion, lust, desperate, wanting.. Love.
Are the words I'd use to describe this kiss. My hands are placed on his chest. His hands are.. Everywhere. From the crook of my neck to my ass. Squeezing.
Kai pulls back panting. "You.. Said.. Take it.. Slow." He manages, to which I shrug. "Changed my mind." I smirk and grab his hair pulling it back slightly to which he moans in response.
God how much I missed that sound.
I kiss his neck. Sucking on a few spots I know he enjoys...
He then suddenly puts me down on the counter and stands in between my spread open legs.
In no time he has two of those deliciously long fingers pumping in and out of me. "Holy fuck you're so wet." He groans out and moves them even faster. His other hand toys with my breasts.. Twisting my nipples, squeezing my boobs.
My hand is around his throbbing cock in no time. I stoke him teasingly slow. Taking my time.. Until..
A low growl comes from his throat as he pulls me back up to my feet. Turns me around so that I'm facing the mirror, spreads my legs apart and.. He's inside of me.
The stretch is as painfully beautiful as I remember. It makes me let out a silent scream against my hand.
My hair is fisted in his hand. With each hard thrust it's yanked back. Though his other hand grasps at my chin and makes me look at myself in the mirror. The combination of both these things.. Feels amazing.. Like my hair is getting ripped out my scalp. Yet it isn't.
"Look at you. Getting fucked. Aren't you pretty Princess?" He asks me. I try to answer. But I can't hypnotized by the way he looks and sounds.
Groans, grunts, growls, moans and evem the tiniest of whimpers leave his lips when he pounds into me from behind. His eyes hooded. Though keeping eyecontact with me. His lips beautifuly parted. His sex face is something else.
It makes my pussy clench.. Literally. I clench hard around his dick to which he whines. "Shit. You're gonna make me come." He warns.
I nod. My hands behind my back and on his thighs. Nails digging into them when feeling his cock twitch in release. My walls are coated with his hot cum as he squeezes my throat and gives a few hard and very controlled thrusts. Shooting me over the edge. My insides pulsate and spasm as I have one of the best orgasms of my entire life.
In Kai's arms. Cause he's calmed down and has his arms wrapped around me gently now, I shake and slowly land back on planet earth.
Not even knowing what planet I was on a few seconds ago when having my mind shattering orgasm.
Before I can get comfortable cockwarming him he's pulled out of me and I grip the edge of the counter, afraid I may fall. "Shh baby, I'm right here." I smile lazily and nod. Two strong arms pick me up and put me down somewhere nice and warm. Somewhere I wanna be for the rest of my life.
Kai keeps holding me. I realize I'm laying on top of him and under the warm sheets.
I listen to the calm rhythm of his heart.. And fall asleep to it. Not before whispering an 'I love you.' To him and Kai being Kai.. Whispers an 'I love you... Even more." Right back...
#kai parker#chris wood#smut#kai parker x reader#kai parker x y/n#kai parker fanfiction#fanfiction#writing#fluff
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Camp Wiegman - Part 8
Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle
Alternate Universe : Military School
Words :
TW: Alcohol
Masterlist
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Saturday, October 24; 9:05 AM - Ona's Room
I try to get out of bed without waking anyone around me. Damn camp habits. Bronze had warned me that I'd get into a new rhythm. Now I'm like clockwork at ridiculous hours. I used to wake up around noon, not nine! Once I'm out of bed without a hitch, I grab some clothes from my closet and lock myself in the bathroom. With everything that happened last night, I didn't have the courage to take a shower before bed. So, I start my day by letting myself relax under the warm water jets. I take my time since the Mapi and Joan certainly won't be awake for a good hour. It's the calm before the storm. Joan promised me a surprise if I came back. That's probably still on since the others knew I was coming back. Hopefully, he hasn't invited the whole family. He loves everyone, unlike me. I get out of the shower after fifteen minutes. I don't risk turning on the hairdryer with the two sleepyheads, so I dry off with just a towel. I get dressed and brush my teeth. I finish with a touch of makeup before going downstairs. It's time to see the others. I'm glad not to run into my mom or Marcus on the way. However, I smile when I see Samuel and Sofia in the kitchen. My smile widens at the sight of their faces.
"Oh my God,Ona!" says Sam, hugging me. "Happy birthday!"
"Already awake!?" Sofia is surprised. "Happy birthday, sweetie."
"Thanks, that's kind of you," I reply, hugging her in turn. "I missed you guys."
"And we missed you! Everything's been so quiet since you left."
"No one to bother us," Sofia adds.
"I'm only here for two days, but I plan to make up for it," I tease them.
"No doubt," laughs Sam. "Do you want your breakfast now, or are you waiting for the girls?"
"Given when they'll wake up, I'll have it now."
He nods with a smile and gets to work. I find my spot at the bar. I no longer insist that I can cook for myself. He always brushes me off when I do. He keeps telling me it's his job. It's true, but it makes me feel like I'm being pampered. I hate that idea because it reminds me that I won't be able to do anything when I leave home. I won't complain either. His dishes are delicious. They have nothing to do with camp food. Besides, it's nice to do nothing, so might as well enjoy it.
"Since when do you get up so early? That's not like you," Sofia comments.
"I've been like clockwork for a week. Curfew at ten PM and wake-up at six. I guess I haven't lost the habit."
"Isn't it too hard?"Samuel replies
"No, it's fine. I prefer it this way. »
"Seen like that... Knowing you, you probably slept the whole way."
"Yeah," I chuckle. "Thanks," I say when he places my breakfast in front of me.
"You're welcome, miss," he teases with a wink.
He made me a cup of hot chocolate and a homemade croissant. Everyone would say there's not much difference from my camp breakfast, but for me, it's a big change. Sam knows how to perfectly dose my hot chocolate, and his homemade croissant is life. I savor it all, letting out a sigh of satisfaction.
"Did you miss it?" he chuckles.
"Totally, yeah!"
"I'm flattered," he says, making me smile.
"Have you received any birthday messages?" Sofia asks.
"I was about to check now."
"What? You haven't checked yet?" she exclaims. "My God, what have they done to our Ona?"
I chuckle lightly. I was asking myself the same thing, actually. I'm much less on my phone. I no longer have the reflex to check it upon waking up due to our fifteen-minute preparation time. I suspect the school did it on purpose to give us such a short deadline. I should have asked Bronze; she would have answered me. It's like the shower. We had to change our habit with Alexia and take it in the evening to be at ease. Anyway, I decide to take out my phone, which is swamped with social media notifications and messages. I start with the messages. Alexia, Leah , Alba... All my camp friends thought of me. They're so sweet! I also have other messages from old friends here, which really pleases me. I take the time to reply to everyone while chatting about trivial things with Sam and Sofia . I talk to them about my new life while they tell me about Joan's antics since I left. It seems he doesn't stop. He's decided to avenge my departure by being a perfect little rascal. He throws fits over nothing and barely listens to my mom or Marcus. Sofia or Sam often have to step in. I think he's decided to follow my example, which I don't really like. I'll need to have a little chat with him. Speaking of him, he just walked in and immediately comes over to me.
"Hi Oni ."
"Hello little rascal. Slept well?"
"Yes! Mapi is still sleeping."
"Let her sleep, she'll be down soon."
"Can I have my breakfast please ?" he asks Samuel.
"I'll bring it to the dining room in five minutes."
"Can't I have it here?" he pouts. "I want to stay with you!"
"Of course you can. Come, I'll put you in the chair next to me."
"I want to sit on your lap!"
"Alright, alright, as you wish," I laugh. "Come here."
I lift him under the arms and easily place him on my lap. I hold him with one hand and grab my cup with the other so Sam can put Joan's plate instead of mine, which is now empty. I smile as he starts telling me about the weeks I missed while eating. Of course, I don't hear any of his mischief from his mouth. I prefer not to spoil the moment and deal with that problem later. Mapi finally shows up around 10:30. I expected to see her later.
"When did you get up?"
"Nine o'clock."
"Good God, they must have brainwashed you," she grumbles, sitting next to me.
"Don't you start too," I laugh.
"Are you staying for breakfast, Mapi ?" Sam asks.
"What kind of question is that!"
I giggle, finding the question as silly as Mapi does. She's like the third daughter of the family, after all. I wait for her to finish her breakfast while chatting. Joan abandoned us halfway to go upstairs. I don't comment on it, but I feel like something's up.
"Maps?"
"Hmm?" she replies with her mouth full.
"What does Jo have planned?"
"Nothing, why?"
"We both know you can't lie."
"Stop being impatient, you'll see."
"Mapi..." I say, making puppy dog eyes.
"No, no need for that face! I'm not telling you anything!"
I sigh, pouting, making her smile. She used to be easier to convince, in my memories.
"By the way," she says.
"Yeah?"
"We're going out tonight."
"You're not serious?"
"I am, and it's non-negotiable. You haven't been to a party since-"
"A year and a half," I finish her sentence.
"I was going to say a century, but it's almost the same. Come on, please! It can only do you good!" she says, giving me puppy dog eyes.
"Stop imitating me," I say, her expression worsening. "Oh, you're annoying! Fine, you win," I grumble.
She lets out a cry of joy and does a dance in the middle of the kitchen. It stops quickly when my mom enters the room. It's the first time we've seen each other since my troubled departure, which didn't end particularly well.
"Oh, hi Abby," she blushes.
"Hi Mapi, it's been a while," she says before turning to me. "Happy birthday, Ona," she says hesitantly.
"Thanks."
I won't ruin my birthday by venting my hateful thoughts. My voice betrays me slightly. It's not like we have a good relationship to begin with. Everything just got worse when she decided to send me across the country.
"How's school?" she asks.
"Oh, great, Mom," I say sarcastically. "If you wanted me to be monitored all the time, you nailed it!"
She sighs at my anger that I couldn't hold back any longer. What a question to ask! She finally gives up on the conversation and turns to Mapi.
"And you, Mapi ? How's your leg?"
"Good, I'd say. I still don't have any pain for now."
"That's at least some good news... See you later, girls," she finishes, leaving the room.
My mom has been Mapi's doctor since we met. She had an accident with her parents when she was little. She came out with a slightly disabled leg. They developed a special bond. My mom is certainly closer to Mapi than to me. It's ironic, given that Mapi doesn't have this bond with her parents. She left their house at the first opportunity. I'm glad she found this bond with my mom, but I'm also jealous. She got the maternal instinct from my mom that I didn't get. As long as it doesn't stop Mapi from listening to me when I complain about my mom, I don't care about their relationship.
"Shall we get ready?"
"I'm already ready, Mapi."
"Are you kidding? Your hair is a mess. And don't tell me you're going to spend the day in jeans and a shirt?" she criticizes, looking me over.
"Hey! My outfit is perfect!"
"There's no way you're staying like that on your birthday! Come on, get up!"
"Oh, please Maps, shut up. You sound like my camp supervisor."
She forces me off my chair, laughing. I let her drag me to my room. I don't know why, but I feel like I'm not going to enjoy what's next.
Saturday, October 24; 11:35 AM - Ona's Room
Mapi has been hogging my bathroom for a while now, even though the shower hasn't been running for some time. Knowing her, I probably have a bit more time before she comes out. She made me put on a dress. Me, in a dress! It's been ages since I last wore one. But that's the least of my worries right now. I was lying on the bed, enjoying the quiet, when I had the brilliant idea to charge my headphones for the return flight. So, I took them out, but I also came across another gift that I had completely forgotten about. Bronze's gift... I wondered why I listened to her and didn’t open it right away. I could have easily done it in the taxi without her knowing.
"What's that?" Mapi snaps me out of my bubble.
"A gift."
"Thanks, I figured that out," she replies sarcastically. "From whom?"
"My supervisor," I sigh.
"Sexy commander?"
"Stop calling her that," I scold, giving her a dark look.
"Oh my! What are you waiting for to open it?"
"I don't know."
"Want me to do it for you?"
"No!" I reply much too quickly.
"Well, do it then."
I feel ridiculous for not doing it, but I'm disturbed. I don't know what to expect; she doesn't know me. I sigh and start to carefully unwrap the paper under Mapi's watchful eye. Besides, she already contributed to the headphones. It's silly for her to give me a second gift. Mapi mocks my slowness, but I don't let it bother me. I frown as I finally see the contents. For now, I'm only paying attention to the small card placed on top of the box. I turn it over to find a note. I smile, recognizing her handwriting that I've seen several times during my tidying in her office.
"After so much effort... A well-deserved reward! Hoping you'll continue down this path. Happy birthday, Ona. - L. B."
My smile doesn't leave my face. L. B.? So her first name starts with an "L"? The "B" surely stands for her last name. I place the card next to me on the bed and remove the lid of the box to discover the rest. I'm left speechless.
"Wow. Sexy Commander really went all out! This stuff isn't cheap, is it?"
"No... She’s insane!"
I can’t believe my eyes. It’s my favorite brand for drawing supplies. One of the most expensive for its quality. Even Mapi recognizes it, having come with me to buy it before. It's a set with different pencils, pens, and brushes of all sizes. She also included a sketchbook underneath. There’s everything needed to create artworks. It's a real treat for an amateur artist like me.
"She must really like you to give you all this."
"That's not really the case," I laugh. "We were at war for three weeks. I even went so far as to trash her room. Didn't I tell you?"
"Yes, you did," she laughs. "But she wouldn’t have given you such a gift if she didn’t like you at least a little! Seriously, this stuff costs a fortune!"
I can't argue with her. She must have spent quite a bit. Not to mention her contribution to the headphones. They’re worth at least two hundred euros, and I doubt the others managed to pitch in that much between the six of them. We’re interrupted by my brother entering my room without knocking.
"Ona? When are you coming down?"
"We’re coming right away," Mapi answers for me. "Just let your sister put away her new toys."
"Ha ha ha!"
I remove the wrapping to throw it away before packing my new supplies into my backpack. I plan to take this one to camp. I have everything I need here, unlike there. I unplug my now charged headphones and put them in the bag.
"We can go."
Nothing could make my brother happier. He pulls me as hard as he can out of my room. Mapi follows behind us after closing my door.
"Hurry up!"
"Calm down, Joan. There's no rush!"
"She’s using my old expressions!"
I look up as my foot touches the ground floor. The shock stops me in my tracks. I’d recognize that voice anywhere. My eyes well up when I see him in person before me. I never expected to see him here again.
"You're ruining your makeup," Mapi whispers to me.
I ignore the comment meant to make me laugh. I don't want to spoil this important moment. I go to my grandfather, who takes me in his arms. It’s been two years since I last saw him. All my emotions pour out once again.
"Grandpa!"
"You haven't changed a bit," he says, making me smile.
I can't believe he made the trip from Portugal just to see me. It’s insane! I’ve always been very close to him because he bears a striking resemblance to my father, both physically and mentally. We share a very special bond, just like I did with my father.
"What are you doing here?" I ask.
"Did you think we’d miss our granddaughter’s birthday?"
I turn towards the other voice to see my maternal grandmother. I smile warmly at her. It’s not that I love her any less, far from it. She’s just as adorable as my grandfather. But she lives in Barcelona, so I see her much more often than him. I still greet her with a hug, happy to see her here.
"How about we celebrate Ona’s birthday and chat over a drink in the living room?"
We all agree to Marcus' suggestion. I hadn't even noticed him enter the hall. Joan impatiently drags me to the next room. In the end, I might really enjoy this birthday. I'm still on bad terms with my mom and Marcus, but I put my resentment aside for this moment. The atmosphere was tense at first, but Mapi is here to lighten things up. She’s great at diffusing awkward situations. Joan also helps by talking non-stop. That’s how the conversation topics emerged. We talked about daily life and then reminisced about past years. The festivities were kicked off by my grandfather sharing stories from when I lived in Portugal or visited on vacations. Mapi had a good laugh at some of the stories. I'm the first to laugh as I remember them. We’re interrupted by Sam announcing that the meal is ready. We move to the dining room where a perfectly set table awaits. The only times I’ve eaten here are for celebrations like today. I can count them on my fingers. I smile when I see the dish. Sam prepared paella, one of my favorite dishes. He knows my tastes well from cooking for me. The good mood continues through dinner. It’s the first time there’s been so much cheer in this room. Usually, it witnesses crises or arguments. That’s one reason I rarely set foot in here. It’s where I learned about my departure to Manchester , for example. I'm delighted that today’s event changes things for this place. I’m happy to be surrounded by my loved ones today.
Saturday, October 24th; 9:30 PM - Barcelona Street.
I sigh for the umpteenth time since we left the house. I try my best to keep up with Mapi, who is ahead of me.
“Slow down!” I shout. “It’s bad enough that you made me come out, but you’re also making me wear heels. The least you could do is wait for me! These things are a death trap!”
“Didn’t they teach you to complain less in that damn school of yours?” Mapi teases.
“Ha ha ha! Very funny. You know it’s my specialty, and it will never be taken away from me!”
Focusing too much on my feet, I bump into Mapi’s back as she suddenly stops without warning. I look up and realize we’ve arrived. It’s not hard to figure out with the loud music blasting from the house across the street.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. This is our Party?”
“Yep!”
“A college party, really? At our old high school friends’ house, no less?” I grumble.
“I figured going to a familiar place would be best… Oh, come on, don’t make that face! I told them about your big return, and they were all thrilled to know you’d be coming tonight.”
“Damn it, Maps…”
“Relax a bit. You need this night out, and we both know it.”
She stops me from protesting by pulling my arm. I attempt to walk as normally as possible in my heels. I hate wearing these things. Mapi knows I never walk very straight in them. I’m usually all about flat shoes. As soon as we step inside, the music pounds in my ears. I wonder how I ended up here. I doubt it’s a good idea. It’s been so long since I’ve been to a party. I already regret giving in to my best friend’s puppy-dog eyes. I regret it even more as we approach the host and my old high school friends, whom I abandoned years ago.
“Hey, look who it is!”
I timidly step forward from behind Mapi, who is still holding me firmly. She must know that if she let go, I’d already be running away. Especially since Nathan Miller, the host, makes me uncomfortable with his comment.
“Hi everyone! As promised, I brought our favorite girl.”
“Hey…” I say timidly. “Good to see you all…”
“You too, sweetheart. I hope you haven’t forgotten us after all this time!”
Why was I so worried? They have every reason to hate me, but they don’t. Maybe because they’re all guys. Let’s face it, they’re less complicated in friendships. I smile at Kyle’s comment and feel the pressure lift from my shoulders. I didn’t expect to see him here. I eagerly await Mapi’s explanation for this. They all surprise me by wishing me a happy birthday. Mapi must have reminded them before we came. It still makes me happy.
“Ana didn’t come with you tonight?” Bryan asks.
“No. She was supposed to, but she ended up at another party. She wanted me to go with her, but I chose to spend the weekend with Ona. By the way,” she says. “She wants to meet you when you come back,” she tells me.
“No problem, I’m looking forward to it.”
“She’s a real nutcase, don’t be too eager to meet her,” Connor whispers to me.
“Hey, I heard that!” Mapi retorts. “Don’t call my girlfriend crazy, or you’ll see!”
“Well, you have to be a bit crazy to date you, don’t you think?”
“Are you implying you’re crazy, by any chance?”
“Oh, but I’ve always claimed that, haven’t I?” I join in.
“All right, 1-0, Batlle,” she says, making me smile. “We’re going for a walk, we’ll catch up with you later.”
“No worries, see you later, girls,” Nathan replies.
I just lifted a weight off my shoulders seeing them. We hadn’t seen each other since the end of high school, yet nothing has changed. They were my last group of friends before my downfall and ghosting them. I thought no one would want to talk to me anymore, but they don’t seem to hold it against me.
“What’s Kyle Wick doing here? Have I missed that much?”
“Oh yes,” she laughs. “Let’s get a drink before we go outside to talk. Does that sound good?”
I nod, and we head to the table serving as a drink buffet. Numerous red and blue cups are arranged there. We grab two clean red cups, and I let Mapi serve us. That was always her role when we went to parties. She probably knows my tastes in alcohol better than I do. She hands me my cup and surprises me by also handing me a bottle of coke. I smile, seeing that she’s holding a bottle of orange juice and vodka under her arm. Well, she’s right. Might as well enjoy it if I’m already here. We head outside, where there are fewer people. Luckily, two lounge chairs by the pool are free. We sit next to each other. I finally take a big gulp of my drink, closing my eyes as it burns my throat. Mapi laughs at me. There’s a reason to laugh. I haven’t had a drop in a long time, and it feels great!
“So, what do I need to know?”
“Hmm, well… let’s see…” she pretends to think. “First, Miller and Bryan are dating.”
I spit out the liquid I was supposed to swallow. My head quickly turns to Mapi. She answers before I can open my mouth.
“Yeah, I was as shocked as you are,” she giggles. “They confessed their love for each other a year ago now. We were all stunned. I chose not to tell you at the time… You were in the middle of… well, you know.”
“Yes, I understand… Oh my god,” I laugh in shock. “I didn’t see that coming and, I didn’t expect to see him here.”
“He’s become friends with my friends,” she shrugs. “I can’t blame him. »
“And Connor?”
“Not much on that front. He brought a girl recently, but it didn’t lead to anything.”
“I didn’t think you’d still be hanging out with them,” I admitted.
“Except for you, we all stayed around for college,” she shrugs. “We just kept in touch, I thought it was good.”
“It’s true,” I say, lowering my head.
“You don’t have to feel guilty, Ona. We don’t blame you. We know it was hard for you.”
I hide my sadness behind a smile. She shifts to a few juicy stories from parties or other events during my absence. I regret not being able to join in. The stories were pretty funny. An hour and a half later, after finishing three-quarters of the bottle between us, we decide to join the others around the patio table. I’m tipsy enough to agree to play silly games I would have hated if I were sober. My state doesn’t improve after several shots during “Never Have I Ever.” Mapi took the opportunity to drag me to the dance floor right after. She knows it’s the only time she can get me there, thanks to the confidence alcohol gives me. We have fun dancing closely. After a while, I notice the boys have joined us. They must not be in a better state than me to have come. Fortunately, Miller offered for us to stay the night if we wanted. I wouldn’t have had the courage to walk home in this state. I tell myself it’s my birthday, so I have the right to enjoy it! Midnight must have already passed, but it doesn’t matter. I lost track of time since my phone died. It’s been ages since I had this much fun. Laughter keeps ringing in my ears. A body presses against my back during a dance, but I don’t pay much attention. I even have fun dancing closer to her. From her build, I’d say it’s a girl. Everything was going great until I feel her hands on my hips and her voice chills me to the bone.
“I missed you…”
I snap back to reality in less than a second. I stop dancing and quickly pull away from him. I need to see to believe it. Unfortunately, it’s real.
“Feli…” I whisper.
“Ona-”
“Don’t come near me!” I scream.
“No, wait-”
She tries to grab my arm, but I flee outside. I thought she’d understand I don’t want to talk to her, but her voice calling me from behind as I head to the back of the garden tells me otherwise.
“Leave me alone!”
“Please, listen to me!” she yells back.
I sigh, realizing I’ve trapped myself against the hedges. I turn around, pointing a finger at her.
“Stop! Don’t come any closer!”
To my surprise, she stops a meter away. Just seeing her in front of me makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I never thought I’d see her here.
“Please,Ona-”
“Shut up! I’m the one talking here,” I shout. “What are you doing here?”
“A friend of your friend.”
“I don’t want to see you anymore, Feli. If I wasn’t clear when I left, I am now!”
“Ona, please, let me speak.”
I look at her for a long time, trying to judge her. I try to discern the truth in her. One thing is for sure, her sad face doesn’t help at all.
“Two minutes,” I relent.
“I’m really sorry for everything I did,” she begins, knowing I’m serious. “I wasn’t myself. You know drugs make us do things we wouldn’t want to... I know I crossed the line more than once with you, and I regret it. I never wanted to hurt you, quite the opposite... I love you, Ona. I always have, and I know I messed up. I really lost it, and that’s why I asked for help... I’m seeing a therapist,” she admits, lowering her head. “He’s helping me get better, and so far, it seems to be working. I’m not asking for your forgiveness... I know it would be too hard for you, but I’d like you to give me another chance when you feel ready... I-... I’d like to be part of your life again...”
“Let me stop you right there. Get the idea out of your head that we can be together again because that will never happen! Is that clear?!”
“OK, OK,” she replies quickly. “M-maybe not a relationship as I’d like... B-but maybe a friendship, or-or...”
I laugh bitterly. Damn, why did I have to run into her. I run my hand over my forehead and push my hair back.
“No.”
She looks at me with wide eyes. She doesn’t need to act surprised. She ruined my life.
“In your pathetic speech, you’re right about one thing, Feli. I can never forgive you for all your damn actions,” I say, enunciating each word. “I trusted you! You told me you’d give me a better life, but in reality, you’re just an asshole! You have no idea how many scars you left on me! I wonder why I’m even talking to you, damn it.”
I step closer to her, pointing my finger at her chest.
“I forbid you from approaching me again, or it will go very badly for you.”
I keep my composure as best I can. The alcohol helps me hide my anxiety in front of her. I give her one last look before leaving her without regret. I’m not going to ruin my evening because of her. Mapi doesn’t even notice my absence since she asks me to join her at the drink stand as if nothing happened. She keeps dancing and singing while pulling me along. Instead of pouring myself a drink, I grab a bottle of tequila and head to the kitchen. Mapi looks more than happy with my initiative and shouts for the guys to join us. I plan to finish my night as it started. I’ll have plenty of time to regret it tomorrow when I return to harsh reality.
#woso#lucy bronze#woso community#barca femeni#ona batlle#woso soccer#lionesses#sefutbol fem#mapi león#ona batlle x lucy bronze#ona x lucy
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