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jellyfishbug · 4 months ago

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POP THE HOOD F'ME

pairing. chris x reader genre. smut with plot. MDNI. word count [5.2k]

content; mechanic!chris, flirty!chris, smoking (they share a cig), sex with a stranger ig? semi public, car head (m recieving), face fucking, big dick chris, reader has an eyebrow piercing, use of pet names, dirty talk, swearing

Maybe it was just dumb luck.

My dad has been promising me that his old ford pickup was gonna be mine when I got my license since I was ten. However, not long after my sixteenth birthday, he randomly decided that his promise had conditions.

I had to fix it myself.

I had been putting off working on it for years. I just didn't have the time, and it needed a lot of work. The list of things to be fixed was long, and I knew if I started then, I wouldn't have finished.

Finally, the time presented itself for me to start. I finally had a summer that wasn't so busy, so I decided in May of this year I was finally going to do it.

I was finally going to get my own truck.

So I did; I worked on it for two long months. Two long months spent in the garage on my back under the heavy pickup with my hands covered in soot and oil whilst sweat dripped down my face. Two long months spent fixing the paint job and fiddling around under the hood, my hair tied back to keep it off my neck while the sun beamed through the opened garage door.

I finally felt confident enough to take it out for a test drive today. It was starting fine in the garage, and I'd driven it around the block a number of times without fail.

I excitedly hopped in the driver's seat and shut the heavy door, jamming my keys into the ignition and grinning at the sound of the roar when the engine started. I made it pretty much across town without a single problem, and I thought I was in the clear.

So, maybe it was just dumb luck when not even an hour later, here I am, standing on the side of the road next to said pickup with the hood popped and smoke coming out of the cabin.

Or maybe, just maybe, it was dumb luck when I realized I was only three blocks away from an auto shop, and a guy pulled over to help drag my car there.

It felt like forever when we finally reached the parking lot. The red and white sign that hung over the opened garage doors read 'sturniolo's auto-repair".

For the most part, the slots were empty, except for a 58' baby blue Impala that was suspended off the ground, and a brand new silver Subaru outback that sat right next to it.

As we finally pushed it into the open slot on the far end of the garage, I let out a sigh of relief, wiping the sweat off my forehead with one hand and letting them both rest at my sides.

I thanked the stranger for his assistance and he wished me luck, mumbling about how much a repair on a truck like this was going to cost before wandering off. I scowled at him as soon as he turned away from me.

Walking away from the smokey and damaged shell of a car, I pushed open the clear glass door into the entry-way of the shop, and the sound of the ringing bells that were carefully tied at the top of the door filled my ears.

Near the desk stood two boys, both were brunettes that roughly stood at the same height. The first was wearing a red toyota nascar cap backwards over his brown hair, as well as a black tank top and a navy blue mechanic's suit that hugged his frame. The name patch on the chest of it read "Matt". He was speaking to another customer, flailing the rag around as he emphasized his points with his hands.

The other was standing behind the counter, a gray bandana tied around his head. He wore a navy blue button up that he left completely open with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms, making the white tank top he wore under it visible.

The name patch on his chest read "Chris", and a white rag was thrown over his shoulder. A plethora of keys were hooked to a red carabiner that hung around the belt loop of his jeans. The desk hid his lower half below his waistline, and as I stepped closer, I saw a toothpick in between his teeth and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he jotted down words on a yellow notepad with a pencil.

I slowly walked up to the desk, my arms at my sides. He didn't raise his head to look at me, he just continued writing, so I cleared my throat.

His head shot up, and his expression fell into embarrassment.

"Fuck- sorry, I didn't hear you come in. How long ‘v you been standing there?"

I laughed lightly and shook my head. "Not long, I just walked in."

A smile painted itself onto his face as he set the pencil down and put his hands in his pockets just far enough that his thumbs still stuck out. "What can i do for ya?" He asked kindly, the toothpick in his mouth moving as he spoke.

"My truck broke down three blocks ago and wouldn't start. I tried looking under the hood to see the problem, but it was smoking, so I pushed it here." I explained, my hands finding each other and clasping together at my front.

He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly. "Jesus, you wheeled it all the way here?" He asked, laughing breathily when I nodded my head in response. "Atta girl. What kind of truck is it?"

"A ford pickup," I responded all too quickly, my voice strained as I tried to ignore how my heart swelled in my chest from the impressed look on his face. He nodded as he opened the drawer next to him and pulled out a ballpoint pen, picking up the notepad once again to start writing. "What year and license plate?"

"85', boston plate, the number is 289 BTO. " I watched as he wrote mindlessly, the handwriting barely coherent.

"'M kay, I'll take a look at it for you." he said, setting the notepad and pen back down on the counter. He opened his palm, gesturing for my keys, and I dropped them into his grasp. He hooked the ring that held them together around his index finger.

"Wait here, should only be a couple minutes."

I nodded as he circled around to the end of the desk, walking past me and pushing open the door to the garage.

His absence gave me a chance to examine the decor of the office space. Family and baby portraits crowded on top of the counter below the window behind the desk. A mickey mouse clock sat above the side door, and a large OPEN sign hung in the window.

The wall was crowded with plates and signs. One that caught my eye was an eagle with its claws digging into a hanging mirror, the name HARLEY DAVIDSON displayed in bright orange letters above the eagle's head. Next to the register was a small bell with a sign that said "ring for service" and the words 'don't actually' were scribbled in sharpie above.

Just when I was getting lost in thought, I heard the door bells jingle a second time, and Chris walked back in. The rag was now hanging loosely in his palm as he approached the counter. He stood right next to me, reaching over for the notepad and throwing the rag back over his now bare shoulder, which is when I realized he had discarded his button up. My eyes dart down to see the keys to my truck now hanging on a different belt loop on his jeans.

"From what I can see," he starts, popping the cap of the pen off and leaving it in between his teeth as he spoke. "It looks like a coolant leak. The combination from the antifreeze leaking and the heat of the engine is enough to make it smoke, but it's not enough to cause the engine freeze up." he explains, his eyes meeting mine every couple of words to make sure i understand. "So, it could also be a fuel pump problem combined with the leak."

I nodded, chewing my lip nervously as he went on to explain the time the repair would take as well as the cost. When the words, "not finished until at least tomorrow" left his lips, I huffed in defeat, and tried to make my disappointment less evident as i crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"How long have you had it?" He asked, now leaning against the counter next to us with one elbow, crossing one foot over the other.

"I've only started to work on it this summer, but it's been my dads since before i was born."

He nodded. "It's a pretty ride," he confessed. "I honestly expected it to look worse when you said 85', but the conditions not bad. You been workin' on it a lot?"

"As much as I can." I shrugged.

He complimented the paint job, to which i confessed i'd done it, and he gushed. "Christ, you should work here. Matt can't paint to save his life. You could probably get him out of a job,"

Matt sent a glare his way. "Shut up, kid. Dad would fire you over me any day, especially if you keep sleeping in."

Chris laughed, a genuine sound that made Matt's glare turn into a small smile before he went back to rifling through the file cabinet.

He turned back to me, pausing to look back over the notes he'd written down. "If i had to guess, I'd say we can probably have it to you by tomorrow evening." he said, looking away from the paper and averting his gaze to instead look me right in the eye. "That work for you?"

I nodded slowly. Suddenly, the issue of a ride home became extremely apparent, and an anxious feeling started to blossom in my chest.

"Good. Just one more thing. . ." he pauses to take the pen cap out of his mouth and place it back on the pen, tapping it against the curve of his hand and grinning wildly at me.

"i'm gonna need your number to let you know when its finished."

He's just asking because he's supposed to; because he literally has to in order for me to get my car back. But regardless, i felt heat rise to my cheeks as i started shifting uncomfortably in place.

"Right," I said, moving to reach for the pen. He points to a blank part of the notepad, tapping lightly to tell me where to write it.

Quickly and shakily, i write out the numbers with dashes. I hand it back to him, and a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. He rips the sheet off the notepad in one swift motion and folds it in half, placing it in his back pocket.

He glances towards the clock. Its nearing seven. He turns back to me, "d'you have a ride home?"

My eyes went wide. I'm reminded of my attempt to call my dad three times when the truck initially broke down, and how my shoulders slumped in defeat at the sound of his voicemail playing repeatedly.

I glance back over to him, ". . . Not exactly. I'll probably just catch the bu-"

"I can drive you,"

I swallowed, my lips slightly parted in surprise. His grin was still wide, awaiting my response.

It was a sweet offer, really. But considering my house was across town, partnered with the fact that he was literally on the job, i shook my head. "That's really sweet, thank you, but I'm far. And you're working, anyway." He shrugs, glancing at the clock once more. "It's fine, Matt's on desk duty and he's closing tonight. I don't mind."

I chew my lip. I'd be stupid to pass up on a ride, but i barely know this kid, and if my dad sees me rolling up with him and no truck, it wouldn't look great.

And then I think about the hour long bus ride that would be in the near future if I declined.

I screw my eyes shut. "You know what? Why not."

Despite the scenario i was in, my mind was pushing out any and all nerves as I watched Chris collect his things from behind the desk. He pulled his wallet, shop keys and jacket out of a cubby.

The two of us walked back into the garage and over to Matt, who was washing his hands in a sink bellow the tool shelves.

Chris bid goodbye to his brother, who looked at the clock and then frowned, turning the faucet off and reaching for the roll of papers towels.

"You're seriously slacking off? I already covered for you and Nate leaving early last weekend." He complained, discarding the wad of paper towels he'd used to dry his hands into the trash bin below.

Chris shot him a look. "And then i covered your sunday morning shift because you were hungover. You owe me."

Matt rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just put your tools away when you open tomorrow. It drives me fucking insane when you leave them everywhere."

Chris salutes. "Roger that." He turned to me and winked, gesturing to follow him through the garage with a tilt of his head.

I followed behind him as he went out a different exit; this one leading to a parking lot on the back of the building. A large EMPLOYEE PARKING sign hung on the fence near the driveway.

He fiddled with the many keys on his carabiner before finally finding his and walking towards a car near the opening in the gate.

A blue, four-seater, convertible 65' mustang. The light from the setting sun literally reflected off of it. He mindlessly stuck the key into the passenger side door, twisting and pulling it open with a faint click.

He gestured his hand towards the seat playfully, "Ladies first."

I rolled my eyes, placing one foot on the floor of the car and ducking my head to sit down. "How gentlemanly of you,"

He grinned at me, closing the door and walking around the back of the car before popping into the driver's seat.

"This is.. wow." I mutter, admiring the small details and cleanliness of the car as he closed his door and threw his belongings in the back. "Jesus, this is yours?"

He smiled proudly, his tongue darting out to dampen his bottom lip. "All mine,"

His fingers twisted the key into the ignition and the roar of the engine made the car buzz against my feet. He rolled both of our windows down, the summer air blowing smoothly through the car.

His smile was wider and prouder than ever as he glanced into the rear view mirror, throwing an arm over the back of my seat to glance behind him as he reversed. We pulled out of the parking lot and turned left onto the main road, Chris letting the steering wheel slide back into place under his palm by itself once he'd done so.

"You said you were far," he mumbled. "What area are you in?"

The question pulled me back into reality. I'd gotten so distracted by the way he drove so carelessly, like he was completely relaxed and in control of everything movement the car made, like fear didn't even exist to him as he pressed harder onto the gas pedal with his foot, my eyes choosing to ignore the way the tic on the speed meter start to spike.

His jawline was illuminated in the dim light, and the toothpick that was still resting on his lips stayed moving as he spoke gently, waiting patiently for me to answer.

I started giving him directions, and he listened carefully and intently, glancing over to look at me to make sure he understood my instructions. Once we were on the freeway, he went even faster, lane switching if someone in front of him wasn't going as fast as he'd like them to.

Soft giggles left me as he did, basking in the view of his lips parted into a smile, showcasing pearly teeth between pink lips.

Once he pulled onto the off ramp and we were stopped at a red light, he turned to look at me again, the bright red turning the car a faint shade of crimson.

"What time do you need to be back?"

He asked with a tone of voice he hadn't used till now. The sudden lowness caught me off guard as I shrugged, "'Dunno, not for a while."

He hummed in acknowledgement. "You wanna stay on the road for a bit?"

I pull my knees up to my chest and let my head fall against the headrest, a careless smile on my face. "Definitely."

And we did; we ended up back on the highway pretty quickly, blasting music through a speaker Chris had propped against the dashboard.

His speed only got higher and higher as time went on, carelessly resting one hand on the wheel whilst the other gripped the gear shift. At some point, his hand had mindlessly traveled to rest on my upper bare thigh below the hem of my shorts, cold and partially ringed fingers pressing against my skin.

"Will you do me a favor?"

I raised my eyebrows and hummed in response. He gestured towards the glove box. "Theres a pack of camel blue 99s in the glove box, would you grab em for me?"

I bit my lip. "Depends, you sharing?"

"Duh."

I leaned forward, feeling my stomach flip when his hand didn't much as move an inch on my thigh, brushing against my lower stomach as I lurched forward to fiddle with the glovebox.

I propped it open and grabbed the pack and paused, "d'you have a light?"

He nodded. "Should be one in there."

I learned more forward and reached farther back, glancing around before locking my eyes on a silver flip top lighter and grabbing it. Once i lean back up, Chris is pulling into an empty lot. His hand leaves my leg to push the gear into park, and i try not to frown.

I flick the top of the cig carton open and hastily pull one out, dropping it into Chris's palm.

He places it hazardly between his lips and turns to face me, silently asking for me to light it.

I pop the lid of the zippo open and hold the flam to the end of his cig, waiting to pull away until his expression signifies that its lit enough. His expression relaxes as he breathes in before pulling it away from his mouth with two fingers and exhaling, the smoke filling the car.

"If I'm honest, I prefer marlboro reds." I say quietly in an attempt to break the silence, watching Chris flick the ash out the window lazily with his thumb and index finger. He shakes his head. "Camels are undeniably better."

I laugh lightly and raise my eyebrows in amusement. "No accounting for taste, I suppose."

He takes another drag before holding it in between his fingers in front of my face, and Instead of reaching for it, I place my lips around the filter while it's still in his hand. Our eyes lock while I breath in sharper, the cool feel of the smoke filling my chest.

He licks his lips, and for a moment, his eyes dart down to look at mine, and he's starts he's studying my face. I'm doing the same.

His eyes are bright blue, surrounded by thick lashes, which are barely visible with stray pieces of his hair hanging down below the bandana on his head. Freckles lightly paint his noise, and his pink lips are slightly parted as his eyes scan my face.

"I like your piercing," he finally says, pressing his one hand to his eyebrow as if he had one himself. I breathe out the smoke i'd been holding in my lungs and smile at him. He's still looking at it as he speaks again, "Did it hurt?"

I shrug. "Not really," Because it didn't, but also because I'd feel like an idiot saying it did. "Just a pinch."

He nodded slowly. "Hm."

I take another hit from the cig which he's still holding up to my lips. Our faces are closer now. One of my elbows is resting on the center console as I look at him through my lashes.

"You should get one." I say.

He laughs, breathy and genuine. "Yeah? You think so?"

"Mhm," i reach my hand up to graze above his eye with two fingers. "It would look good on you." He watches my movements. "We'd match, too."

He digs his teeth into his bottom lip, finally moving the cig back to his own lips and taking one more long drag before carelessly discarding it out the window.

All too quick, he's facing me again, and he leans even closer. I can feel the warmth of his breath on my face. My heart is thumping loudly in my chest, and a part of me thinks he can hear it.

Before I can even blink, he places his fingers on my chin and tilts his head, smashing his lips against mine hard.

Its all teeth at first, clashing messily as his hand leaves my chin and rests as the base of my neck. My hands are on his face, my fingers messing with the curls at the back of his neck while he grins against my lips.

He lightly bites my bottom lip, taking the opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth. He tastes like cherry and camels, and I feel myself whimpering at the contact.

"Fuck," he mumbles into my mouth, and his tone is exasperated, partly because the console between us is making it harder for him to kiss me like he wants to, and partly because his attempts to pull me close enough for our chests to press together have been unsuccessful.

His hands reach down to tug at the belt loops of my shorts, trying to pull me onto his lap. I pull away for a second to push myself over the console, Chris's grip on my hips staying firm to assist me. I duck to avoid hitting my head on the roof of the car, and Chris giggles lowly.

I finally relax once I'm comfortable in his lap, straddling his legs below me. One of his hands is across my lower half, sliding his hand into my back pocket, and the other rests in the middle of my back, holding me in place.

We're kissing again, and this time it's more lips and tongue then teeth, but he's still lightly tugging at my lip.

I'm tugging at his hair as I push myself closer to his lower abdomen, pressing down, which elicits a groan from him. He pulls away from me, and I try to follow his lips with a whine, but he tugs at the back of my hair lightly so he can press kisses from my jaw down to my neck.

I'm already whimpering as soon as his teeth press against my throat, and he digs them deep, kissing the mark once he's satisfied with the shade of purple its turned before finding a different spot to do the same thing.

"Chris, fuck- please."

I can feel him below me, and it's making me crazy. He doesn't budge, even as I continue to whine breathlessly at him.

He only grins as he continues to nip at my skin, and i felt the smirk on his face against my throat. I tangle my fingers in his hair and tug as a silent plea. "What s' it, baby?"

Baby.

I practically keen at the nickname. He finally pulls away, a string of saliva connecting his lips to his previous spot on my neck. He grins proudly at the marks he's left before looking at me again.

"What d'you want?" his tone is cocky and assertive. His lips look red and bitten, and I start to feel embarrassed at the fact that we were sucking face so lewdly in a literal parking lot.

I want to squirm and writhe away under his gaze, but his knuckle tight grip on me won't let me. I fiddle with the neck of his shirt and avoid looking at him as i whisper, "I need you."

He grins madly. "How d'you need me, sweetheart?"

I lean forward and press my lips back against his, and he entertains for a little before tugging my hair lightly to pull me back. His fingers grip my chin, holding me in place to look at him.

"Tell me what you want."

I brush my hand against his belt buckle. "I wanna suck you off,"

It came out in a mumble, but he understood, nodding somewhat cockily with a shit-eating grin on his lips. A groan left him as he tugged me even closer so our chests were pressed together. "Yeah?"

I nod eagerly, another 'please' ready to escape my mouth as my impatience grows. He ducks his hand between the seat and the door to push it farther back, "On your knees, then."

I obliged immediately, sliding off his lap to rest on my knees below him. My elbows rest on either side of his legs as my hands flew to his belt, unbuckling it and tugging at his jeans and boxers.

He lifted his hips lightly to assist me. I pulled them down until they rested around his ankles, and I feel myself gawk.

He's big. Bigger then I expected.

A nervous feeling bubbles in the pit of my stomach, but the way he's looking down at me through hazy vision makes it vanish even quicker, and I wrap my hands around his length.

"You okay?" He asks, moving his hand to rest on my cheek, his thumb soothingly pressed on my temple.

"No- yeah, i'm good." I breathe. I hover myself over him, finally taking him into my mouth. A string of curses leave him in a hushed breath, and his head moves to rest at the back of my head to coax me farther down.

I pull back slightly, wrapping my lips around his tip and sucking lightly. His chest is rising and falling quickly above me, and his labored breathing is music to my ears.

His cock is heavy on my tongue, and its addicting. I take him farther down my throat, hollowing my cheeks to fit as much of him as i can while my hand is in a fist around his base. I bob my head and twist my hand, looking up at him to see his flushed face as he pants.

"Fuck, you look so pretty like this." He babbles, a throaty moan leaving him when I twist my hand faster, swirling my tongue along his cock as my head rises and falls.

I hum around his dick at the compliment, the slight sting on my scalp from him pulling my hair only pushing me to do more. He pushes me down slightly, and i choke at the burn of his tip making contact with my uvula.

I moan loudly on him at the feeling, tears building in my eyes as the vibration from the noises i'm making cause him to throw his head back, a blissed out expression on his face. "Fuck, so good. Just like that, god."

Drool seeps from the corners of my mouth as I speed up all my movements. Chris is a breathy, moaning mess above me, watching me through lidded eyes as I glance up at him.

He moves his other hand to rest on the side of my face, grinning at my fucked out appearance. "Fucking filthy girl, aren't you, baby." He says through gritted teeth. "You love this, don't you?"

I whine at him, furrowing my eyebrows in pleasure to say "yes', and watching as his eyes roll lightly back in his head when i start to suck lightly at his tip again.

My hand falls from his base to lay on his leg, the other holding the bottom of his shirt in my fist. I try to push my head farther down, whimpering faintly at the stretch.

Chris's hips jerk up lightly at the sensation, causing him to push himself down my throat until my lips hit the base. I start to choke, but I breathe heavily through my nose, screwing my eyes shut and hallowing my cheeks out to stop myself from pulling off.

"Fuck!" he grunts loudly, his grip on my hair turning animalistic. He mindlessly mutters out curses and praise as he pushes my head up and down with his hands, 'good girl', 'don't stop', 'takin' me so good, baby' 'just like that' . . .

My hands are resting completely at his sides as he guides my mouth on his cock, slightly bucking his hips to push himself as far as I can take him. His strokes turn sloppy, and I look up at him again to see him looking at me with a broken glance, bottom lip between his teeth. "Fuck, gonna cum," he gasps.

I begin to swirl my tongue around him, moaning messily on him as if to say, 'in my mouth, please', but he's already reading my mind, digging his nails into my scalp as he spurts coats of white down my throat, an incoherent string of "fuck fuck fuck"'s spilling out of him. Im swallowing as quickly as i can.

I pull off of him with a lewd pop, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. I know i look completely ruined, but I'm still focused on catching my breath and looking at Chris's flushed pink face above me.

His hand rests on my face again, and his thumb soothingly rubs my cheek. "You okay? Was that too much?" he asks, his expression full of concern as he wipes the tears from under my eyes.

I smile, leaning into his touch. "I'm good, it was really good."

He nods, smiling dumbly. "Good."

He pulls his jeans and boxers back up, bucking his belt before pulling me off my knees and back onto his lap. He presses a soft, passionate kiss on my lips, and then trails kisses down the side of my face, pulling my hair back off my shoulders as we both catch our breath.

We're both startled by the loud ringing of my phone in the passenger seat. I reach over the console, sighing in relief when i flip it over and see my dad's name at the top of my screen.

I put the phone up to my ear, watching as Chris rubs circles into my side with his cold fingers.

"Hi," I breath out. I listen as my dad apologizes for not answering earlier. He tells me he heard my voicemail and asks if I'm okay. "M' fine, I just wheeled it to a shop a couple blocks over. I'm on the bus home now, should only be a bit."

Chris pouts at me, and i roll my eyes at him. My dad talks for a couple for seconds before hanging up, and i leave my phone in the drink compartment next to Chris's forgotten lighter.

"D'you need to get home?" He asked. I nodded, and he frowns. "I was gonna get you off in the backseat,"

part two? :)

thank you for reading! reblogs are DEEPLY appreciated. I hope you enjoyed. links below !

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#Spotify #sturniolos #sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #the sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #mechanics are sexy #smoker chris #jellyfishbug 🌺

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myjisung · 1 year ago

Text

stray kids : calling them pretty !

content. stray kids ot8, gn!reader, complimenting, idol and non idol!skz, lots of dialog, insecure bangchan, confident hyunjin & seungmin, sillies — fluff.

warning. none

wordcount. 1,6k ( got carried away a little bit )

a/n. sorry, i had brainrot !!

bang chan ( 방찬 )

"you're pretty"

"now you're just being silly."

"i mean it!"

chan looked back at you, unimpressed. his brow looked unamused and so did his mouth. he did not buy it.

"chan i promise you. you're a very pretty guy."

he shook his head and you could feel your heart break to pieces. no matter how many times you complimented him, whatever the words you chose, chan would not believe you.

"that's not a word i'd use to describe myself" he laughed dryly "i mean, have you seen me?"

enough. you got up and walked towards him. that got his attention. chan turned his face away from his computer to look to your side and you grabbed his face with both hands. shocked, his eye grew a little bigger.

"chan" your voice quivered "you have to believe me. you ARE pretty. always have been. it pains me to hear you deny it over and over again." his lower lip trembled "whatever it is that makes you believe you don't deserve to hear that word being uttered about yourself, forget it!"

he swallowed and his eyes watered.

"okay" he said after a while "alright. i-" he sighed, looked somewhere else then closed his eyes "i can't really- i don't-" another sigh "for you, i'll try."

lee know ( 리노 )

this time, after ten minutes spent trying, your facetime call went through.

"well fucking finally minho! why are you-" on your screen, your boyfriend's face appeared. he was getting makeup, a small brush softly highlighting his nose bridge "oh... you're pretty."

minho laughed gently.

"what is it that you want y/n? why'd you even call me seventeen times? can't you tell i'm busy?"

he tried to use that annoyed tone he usually threw your way when you were being clingy. but you could tell he was blushing, something that didn't happen often enough if you had to be honest.

"well damn, calm down with the questions. can't someone want to talk to their pretty boyfriend?"

another laugh, a shy one this time.

"okay, stop that"

"stop what? calling you pretty? well that's what you are. pretty pretty pretty!"

"alright i'm hanging up"

"MINHO NO WAIT."

you had to call him eight more times for him to pick up a second time.

changbin ( 창빈 )

"can you compliment me some more?"

you had just spent the last fifteen minutes telling changbin about how perfect of a man he was. and there he was asking for more? there were only so many compliments in the world. so much so that you had to think about what to say in order to not repeat yourself.

handsome you had used. super witty you went on and on about without forgetting about complimenting his dedication to living a healthy lifestyle and promoting kindness.

but then, it dawned on you. you knew just what to say.

"you're pretty."

changbin furrowed his brows.

"huh?"

"you're pretty" you repeated. "like, you're actually so pretty."

a tentative smile stretched changbin's lips.

"are you sure?" he was shy. changbin brought his hand to the back of his neck and tickled it gently—as if it was the first time anyone ever used the word 'pretty' to describe him.

"i am" you said without hesitation "you are super pretty, changbin. you've got pretty eyes and a pretty nose and pretty lips and pretty cheeks and and and..."

changbin laughed that silly high pitched laugh of his.

"you've got a pretty face overall."

"that's the first time i heard of it." he finally said, too shy to ask for any more compliments.

you mentally took note: in order to shut my changbin up, call him pretty.

hyunjin ( 현진 )

"what did you think the first time you saw me?"

you looked up from your book to lock eyes with his. that came out of nowhere. tilting your head to the side, you furrowed your brows.

"what do you mean?"

"like" hyunjin looked to the left, pondering how to word his question better "what was your first impression? when we first met, what did you think of me?"

"oh." you went back to your book "he's pretty."

hyunjin coughed.

"that's it?"

"did you expect me to think you were hot or cool or whatever? the first time we met you were drenched in soda and asked me for napkins, not very cool nor hot. but you were very pretty, the prettiest man i had ever seen."

a gentle smile stretched his full lips.

"do you mean that or are you being funny?"

you looked at him again, shocked. after marking the page you were at, you closed your book.

"no what do YOU mean? don't play with me hyunjin. you DO know that you're pretty, right?"

he brought his hand to his mouth but, before he could hide it, you saw his slight smirk.

"i mean..." he started.

"oh come on!"

"no like" hyunjin giggled "i'm aware it's just, i didn't think you'd think that of me. pretty? is that really the impression i gave you?"

"well cut me some slack here! you're a crazily pretty man. sometimes i just look at you for fun. for FUN, hyunjin! i am ENTERTAINED, i am having a GREAT TIME looking at your pretty face."

"okay now you don't have to be dramatic about it"

hyunjin was blushing crazily for someone so confident.

han ( 한 )

he was painting his nails and a look of concentration had him furrow his brow and push the tip of his tongue out of his mouth. han wanted to draw stars on each and every single one of his nails and you admired his dedication to the task.

the room smelled of both nail polish and nail polish remover. the coffee table was littered with cotton pads and q-tips drenched in acetone. the smell had your eyes water but you couldn't leave.

han was just so pretty. and you had to tell him.

"hey" you started.

"busy" jisung replied "can't mess up again."

you heard him but, it had to be said.

"you're so pretty right now."

it took him a while, maybe three or five seconds before the words registered. once he pieced it together, he looked up at you.

"huh?"

"i said, you're pretty"

"no i heard you" he started "it's just... really?"

han kept his brush above his fingers so long a droplet of pink polish splashed on his nail, ruining the design, but you didn't have the heart to point it out yet.

"yeah? you're a very pretty guy, jisung. like, your eyes for starters, insanely pretty"

he gave you a shy smile as his cheeks turned pink. you could tell he was trying to tone down his reaction from the way his leg started bouncing.

"no... you're the pretty one." he finally said.

jisung looked down at his nail and shrieked. he was going to have start over, AGAIN.

felix ( 필릭스 )

"you're so pretty"

you weren't expecting to say that out loud but could anyone even blame you? the sun was hitting felix's face in a way that enhanced his freckles along with the gold of his skin. his long eyelashes tickled the skin under his eyes and the bitten red of his mouth made him look ethereal.

felix was, objectively, a very pretty boy.

his eyes fluttered open and your cheeks blushed pink. felix noticed and a playful smile stretched his mouth.

"d'you mean that?" he asked, his voice low and gentle.

you weren't exactly boyfriend and partner yet. you weren't anything really. something in between, something blurry but neither of you dared saying or doing anything about it. you were content with this in-between, for now.

"i do" you started and he brought a hand to your cheek, letting his thumb gently stroke your skin "you're very pretty, felix"

his smile got bigger.

"thanks" he said "you're super pretty yourself."

you swore your heart leapt out of your chest.

seungmin ( 승민 )

"has anyone told you that you were pretty before?"

"plenty of times actually, y/n."

seungmin smiled playfully and you watched him, deadpan.

"i mean," he started "i get it. don't you?"

he giggled and you could only scoff. can't someone compliment their boyfriend and have him react normally in this economy?

"alright mister pretty boy. i guess you've heard it so much it got to your head."

another laugh, a bright one this time and you could not contain your own smile anymore. seungmin had this way of brightening every room he walked in. he always managed to have you in the best mood and make you forget all of your worries.

"oh no y/n... i beg, compliment me again. i only care when it's you that calls me pretty."

it was your turn to act. pretending to be unimpressed, you looked away.

"well. i better be!"

seungmin giggled again. and so did you.

i.n ( 아이엔 )

shopping with jeongin always took hours. you were used to it at this point, but still. your feet were killing you and you had spent far more money than you had planned to.

your boyfriend had a way with compliments afterall. whatever you tried on, he loved and managed to make you love too so, purchased they were!

"how about this one?"

the fitting room's curtain quickly opened and you were met with yet another huge-pair-of-pants-and-oversized-shirt outfit. it was crazy the way jeongin managed to make them work every time.

"pretty" you said "you're pretty."

he smiled and his eyes crinkled.

"pretty?"

"mh mh" you nodded "you look super pretty. you always do but especially right now. crazily pretty, insanely pretty, gorgeously pretty. extremely pretty even. have you considered-"

jeongin cut you off, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. he giggled against your mouth as you kissed back, sending happy shivers down your back.

"okay i think i get it." he said "you're perfectly pretty too"

with that, the curtain closed again.

taglist. after being absent for a long while, i'll make a new taglist instead of using the old one so let me know if you would like to be added / removed.

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readsaboutreid · 4 months ago

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Permanent Solution | S.R.

cw: big big warning for suicidal ideation (first person POV so you get some of the full on thought spiraling) typical criminal minds violence (reader gets kidnapped by an unsub and tortured but it doesn’t get too descriptive), extreme angst, Morgan being a dick at first (I love him but he was the only person I could really see for the role he fills in the plot with his tell it like it is vibes) but he gets his redemption in pt 2 i promise

no request for this one i had a real bad day and needed to use my thought spiral in some sort of creative outlet to get myself out of it so i took it out on spencer and reader sorry in advance y'all

"None of us like you."

The words rattled around in my brain as I walked absent-mindedly, my destination already in the back of my mind. I hadn't made this walk in five months. The five months before that had been focused on reducing the number of times I took this path.

First, the goal had been to reduce the number of times I felt compelled to take this particular walk. Walks overall weren't out of the question, and were actually encouraged. Especially walks where I shared the company with someone else. But this specific one was different. It carried a different weight. The initial goal set with my therapist had been to reduce how often I walked this path from nearly every night to no more than two or three times a week, substituting it with a different path through a different and more active part of town. After that, the goal was to move to only walking this path once a week. Then, ideally, none at all.

Ten months. Ten months of twice-weekly therapy sessions down the drain. With five measly words. I started to wonder what Spencer would say if he knew where I was headed, but shook my head free of the thought. He'd be better off in the end, anyways. The wind bit into my cheeks and I tugged the green cardigan that hung loosely off my shoulders so that it was tighter around me, the only protection from the cold that seeped down into my bones. I began to walk faster as I shivered, trying anything I could to warm up my body even just a little bit, and thought back to the encounter from earlier that had caused me to spiral so suddenly and severely.

"—none of us like you," Morgan said to me, cutting me off right as I was attempting to defend my previous decision to turn down the previous drink night invitations in the twelve months since I'd been at the BAU, resulting in Spencer also turning them down and going home with me, instead for the last eleven out of twelve of those months. The expression on his face matched the complete and utter disdain dripping from each and every word. "Not even Hotch, who got you the job in the first place, seems to want you on the team anymore. The only person who ever wants you to be around is Reid, and none of us can figure out why." When he finished I took a look around the table to see everyone else just looking down and avoiding my gaze, including Penelope, who had become somewhat of a sister to me in the past year.

"You—," my voice caught in my throat at that point and I cleared it, trying to sound as steady as I could as I asked, "A-all of you share this sentiment?" Despite strength I had tried to muster to ask that question, my voice only came out thick and wavery, and it was all I could do to keep my lip and lower jaw from trembling. I had tried as hard as possible to overcome myself since starting at the BAU, to believe that the people around me genuinely enjoyed my presence and didn't secretly roll their eyes and sigh in relief when I left the room, but apparently I had failed to make them like me and that's exactly what they felt.

"You'll have to excuse me, please," I gasped as the information presented to me sank in. I then stood, my eyes swimming with tears, and ran from the table they had all situated themselves into at the bar, only to run head on into Spencer, who grabbed my by the shoulders with a soft laugh and gentle smile.

"Easy there, (Y/N)," he chuckled while steadying me. It was only then that he realized something was wrong and his smile was immediately replaced with a concerned frown. "Hey, what's wrong, angel?" I shook my head, shook free of his grasp, and kept making for the door, my head slowing down a bit as I finally was able to take in a breath of fresh air as I made it outside.

Spencer hastily followed after me, right at my heels. "(Y/N)! (Y/N), wait!" He called after me, pushing his way through the crowd and finally out the door as well before wrapping me tightly in his arms. "Hey, now, what's wrong, love?" He cooed as he pressed my head into his chest and wrapped his cardigan around my shoulders when he felt me tremble.

I hesitated, debating what to say to him. I could either tell him the truth and earn the further ire of our colleagues by snitching or I could do what I do best: blow every thing up so there would be nobody else to blame but myself. I opted for the latter.

With a deep, shuddering breath, I finally managed to force the words from my throat. Each one stabbed into my chest with the force of a dull butter knife. "I— th-this—," I stumbled, "th-this isn't working, Spencer." My voice was barely above a whisper by the end when I finally met his eyes, which quickly filled with tears at hearing my words.

"Wh-what?" The word came out as nothing more than a breath but within it I swear I could hear the crack in his chest that echoed the one in my own. "Why— wh-what— I don't— where is this coming from?"

"I'm sorry," I said through soft sobs before I turned and ran off, leaving him standing on the sidewalk with tears slowly beginning to fall down his cheeks.

I had broken his heart, ensuring that he, too, would hate me. That was the plan. I had to push him away and make him hate me as much as the rest of them so that it would hurt him less when they found me. I made the last turn and found myself at my destination - the 11th Street bridge.

Spencer stood on the sidewalk, staring after her long after she had disappeared around the corner up ahead. He ran through the events of the past hour, trying to figure out what he could have done.

"You can go without me, Spencer," she protested as he tried to convince her to go out for drink night with the rest of the team.

"Please come with me? It will be fun, I promise!" It was a strange reversal for him to be the one trying to coax someone else into going out. Usually it was Morgan trying to convince him to go out (Garcia had literally forced him to go out with her after a particularly rough case or two), but now he decided to pay it forward to get his girlfriend to come out with their team and have some much needed fun. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"What if they don't actually want me there?" She asked, her voice small and timid.

"That's ridiculous! Why wouldn't they want you there? You're amazing," he smiled at her, starting to pepper her face with kisses in an attempt to cheer her up. She giggled quietly, not really trying as she made to push him away. He continued his assault, kissing her cheeks, forehead, nose, and lips, over and over with light pecks. When she finally acquiesced, he was giddy with excitement and felt a swell of pride in his chest at the progress she had made since they met.

As they stepped out of his car he grabbed her hand and saw her face twist with anxiety. He gave her hand a soft, reassuring squeeze before his phone rang, the number for the mental facility his mother currently resided in showing on the screen. "I need to take this, head on inside and I'll be right there, okay angel?" She swallowed nervously and walked inside, and he took the call.

5 minutes and 29 seconds.

That's how long he had been on the phone. Whatever had happened had taken only 5 minutes and 29 seconds. And it ended his relationship.

Spencer found himself pushing the door open and walking back inside the bar. His blood rushed in his ears as he approached the table and stared at all of his coworkers.

"What happened?" He asked, his voice just loud enough to be heard above the music.

"Reid," Morgan started, but Spencer cut him off. "Don't look at us like th—"

"Whatever was said in the 5 minutes and 29 seconds I was on the phone with my mother's hospital resulted in me getting dumped on the sidewalk outside when not even 30 minutes ago (Y/N) was laughing, and smiling, and happy. So what. Happened?" He seethed.

"Alright, you want to know what happened, Reid?" Morgan snapped, preparing to stand up and tell him off before being stopped by Penelope, who looked as though she was still on the verge of tears.

“Reid, I’m sorry,” she whispered as she stood up instead, standing in front of Spencer. “I should have stopped him,” she continued, shaking her head. “I shouldn’t have let him talk to her like that.”

“What did he tell her?” Spencer turned to Garcia, interrupting Derek as he opened his mouth to interject.

“I told her the truth,” Morgan slurred, finishing off what the rest of them knew was his fourth glass of whiskey. Spencer opted to ignore his clearly drunk colleague and continued to address Garcia.

“Garcia, what did he say to my girlfriend?” Spencer insisted, his anger being slowly replaced by a sense of growing dread.

“He— he told her nobody wanted her around,” she admitted, her eyes closing and her face twisting with guilt before she hastily added, “which of course that’s not the case! I love (Y/N) like she’s my own sister...” Spencer felt his heart drop into the pit that had become his stomach as his fears were confirmed.

“But?” Spencer added, tilting his head to the side, his voice growing quieter as the conversation continued.

“...but the rest of us miss you, Spence,” JJ finally spoke up. “We haven’t seen you in ages outside of work! If she’s keeping you from spending time with your friends, that's a little bit of a red flag, isn't it?” She reasoned, standing to put a hand on his bicep to calm him.

He angrily shook her off, the anxiety coursing through his veins shifting back into an icy rage. “She hasn’t kept me from doing anything, Jennifer,” he spat through gritted teeth as he held her gaze, which was a mix of shock and hurt at his tone.

“Spence, I just meant that—” JJ started, but was immediately interrupted by Spencer, whose rage was steadily growing to the point where he was certain he was visibly trembling.

“In fact, she has been continually insisting that I leave her behind to come out with you all, but given that I don’t drink much to begin with I usually just opt for a night in with her. I didn’t realize I needed permission from the rest of the team to make that decision for myself,” he bit back before turning to leave.

“Where are you going, Reid? Reid! Come on, man, be reasonable!” Morgan called out, only for Spencer to ignore him and keep walking. If he stayed there any longer, he knew he would end up saying something he’d regret, and with the way most of them were talking about his girlfriend—ex-girlfriend—he figured they’d find some way to blame her for his outburst if he did.

When he finally exited the bar, he felt a hand wrap around his wrist and he turned on his heel, preparing for another round of arguing, only to be met with the now tear-streaked cheeks of Penelope Garcia.

“What do you want, Garcia?” He snapped, his face softening as he took in her apologetic expression.

“I— I’m sorry, Spencer,” she whispered. “I should have told Derek to shut up, I’m so sorry! I just— I hate when the people I love start fighting like that! I shut down and— and I know I should have stood up for her but I just— I just froze like a coward and—” her voice grew more frantic and upset before Spencer cut her off.

“Garcia, it’s not your fault,” Spencer sighed, his anger fading away until the only thing he felt was the ache in his chest. “Derek was drunk and belligerent. You’re not responsible for his actions.” He paused as he took a deep, shuddering breath. “I just wish I could have been there to put a stop to it. She’s so sweet, and kind, and utterly terrified of people. I shouldn’t have sent her in by herself knowing that." His voice cracked as a fresh wave of tears started to fall down his own cheeks.

“Spencer, you had no way of knowing any of this would happen,” Penelope wrapped Spencer in a tight hug, and he finally broke down. His body shook gently with soft, nearly silent sobs and he cried into her shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Spencer. I know how much you love her.” Garcia’s own voice cracked as her heart ached for the crying boy in her arms.

“Wh— what do I do, Penelope?” He mumbled into the sleeve of her sweater. “I just want to help her feel better.” That’s all he’d wanted since he’d first laid eyes on her. He’d never forget how emaciated she had looked, her skin pallid and her eyes nothing more than dim, lifeless pits with dark bruise-like rings underneath them.

“Everyone, I’d like you to meet Dr. (Y/L/N). She just graduated from the academy and has expertise in psycholinguistics as well as a doctorate in neuropsychology, so I have no doubt she’ll be an excellent addition to the team.”

Spencer had tried his hardest in the two months after that initial introduction to get to know her, to understand why she looked like a reanimated corpse (albeit a very beautiful one) who had just wandered out of a morgue. Over those two months, the two of them had grown closer and closer, thanks to much insistent pushing from him. At first, it came in the form of attempting to get her to join the rest of them for drinks at their bar of choice (the others would never invite her themselves but Spencer would insist to her that it was okay, that she was a part of the team), but quickly he realized that all might be a bit too much for her. So, one night, he told the team he wasn’t feeling up to going out and instead privately asked (Y/N) if she’d want to join him for pizza and a movie at his place since he wasn't feeling up to big crowds and he had a feeling neither was she. He had been prepared to be turned down but was pleasantly surprised when her face showed the slightest expression of piqued interest and she agreed.

He then started to skip out on pretty much all of the future invitations to go out for drinks with the rest of the team, opting instead to go home for pizza and Doctor Who or Star Trek marathons with her, and he started seeing a whole other side to her that no one else had even suspected could have existed. She’d slowly opened to him, occasionally letting out quiet and restrained laughs at his goofy jokes and puns at the beginning of their friendship.

Eventually, those soft titters grew into ebullient, beautiful laughs that were like music to his ears. Her smiles went from being forced and never meeting her eyes to lighting up her entire face, at times so brightly that Spencer swore she could illuminate a dark room with nothing but her smile. She showed that there was a side to her that was goofy, outgoing, and full of life.

It was around then (November 17 at 11:57 PM) that their relationship had started officially with a soft, tentative kiss goodnight; but from the very first time he heard her let out a soft, breathy giggle at his goofy joke about Spock having three ears (‘a left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ier!’), Spencer knew that he would marry her someday.

Or at least he had thought so, until tonight.

“Give her some space to sort out her emotions, Spencer,” the voice of Penelope Garcia in his ear dragged him back into the present, her arms still wrapped tightly around him. “She loves you more than anything, and we both know that.” She let go and gave him a teary smile before wiping her cheeks.

“You’re right,” he replied, taking in another deep, shuddering breath. “Plus, she walked away with my cardigan, and we both know she’s a stickler about returning borrowed clothing!” He attempted a joke, but the laugh he tried to give after cracking it came out more like another choked sob.

“If I were you, I’d just give her a quick phone call and let her know that you love her no matter what anyone else says or thinks, okay? She needs to know that more than she needs anything else right now.”

“Right. Yes, you’re right,” he muttered, wiping his eyes on his shirt sleeve. “Thank you, Penelope.”

“I’m always here for you, Spencer,” she smiled at him before adding, “both of you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go tear Agent Morgan a new asshole for getting you dumped and hurting my best friend.” She took a second to shake her head and rub her own cheeks to dry them. “Call me once she makes it home safely to you, okay? Promise?” He nodded quietly. “Uh-uh-uh, what was it that one kid had told you a while back? ‘A promise doesn’t count unless you say it out loud,’ right?”

“I promise,” Spencer felt a small smile tugging on the corner of his lips. He then walked down the block to his car, got in, and drove home to wait for (Y/N).

When he arrived and had walked through the doorway, he pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed her number. It rang four times and then went to her voicemail.

“Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Dr. (Y/L/N), I can’t come to the phone right now but if you leave your name and number, I’ll return your call as soon as I am able. Thanks!” Beep.

“Hi, (Y/N). So, Penelope filled me in on everything that happened,” he began shakily, and took a deep breath before he continued. “I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there to stop Morgan from saying all of that, but please, please know that no one hates you, I promise. Penelope assured me that she was going to tear him a new one for what he said, and I promised her that I’d call her once you made it home safely.” He paused, searching for his next words carefully, and settled on, “I love you so much, angel. Please, please never forget that.” And then he had to hang up the phone, his eyes filling with more tears.

He made his way to the couch and sat down, turning the TV on and finding a marathon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer playing. Knowing it was her favorite show, he left it on and patiently waited. On the couch sat a small stuffed cat with a blue and white spotted mushroom for a head that he had gifted her on a whim, Dr. Mewshroom, as she had taken to calling it. He grabbed Dr. Mewshroom and hugged it close to his chest as he leaned back on the couch and eventually dozed off.

I paced up and down the 11th Street bridge for an hour before I decided to hop up and sit on the railing. My walking had warmed me up significantly, so I shed the cardigan Spencer had wrapped around my shoulders. Hopefully, it would be returned to him when they eventually found me. I stared down into the dark water beneath my dangling feet and tried to find the courage within me to jump, but I couldn’t give myself the final push I needed, just like all of the previous times I’d made this trip.

I must have sat there for fifteen more minutes or so before I decided to give it up and go home to Spencer. Maybe, if I begged and pleaded with him, he’d take me back. I checked my phone to see that I had a missed call from him. Weird, I hadn’t even heard it ring. Before I could turn myself around to hop off the railing, I was grabbed from behind and a cloth was pressed to my mouth and nose, blocking me from screaming. My nose and throat filled with a burning sensation before everything faded to black...

#criminal minds fandom #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x fem!reader #criminal minds fanfic #spencer x reader #spencer reid #heavy angst #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fic #angst

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weaselle · 8 months ago

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RECOVERY

I spent a lot of my life depressed without admitting it to myself and then i spent a year so depressed i could hardly make myself do the bare minimum to keep my body alive, and now it's about 3 years since i got up from that lowest point and while i am still struggling with myself things are objectively a lot better.

and i just want to put a couple things i've learned, both to remind myself of how far i've come, and in case any of what i've experienced helps anyone else.

You can't run from the darkness

When you're super depressed it's easy to focus on how much you don't want to be depressed. When everything is darkness you tend to wish you could escape that darkness.

but you can't. The darkness is all around you. You can't run away from it without running deeper into it.

instead, follow the light.

don't think of it as escaping depression, think of it as seeking joy. Don't run away from the darkness, walk toward any lights you can see.

At first it will be very small things. The taste of a food. The way your favorite color looks. A smell you like. For me one of the first things i could find to remind me of joy was the way a warm shower feels.

I would just stand in the shower and lean into the tiny, tiny joy of that feeling. I would describe it to myself, how it felt good, what about it felt good. It didn't cure me, it didn't make me less depressed, but it was a little point of joy to focus on, to breathe into like a tiny candle flame in my darkness.

I would memorize that feeling, so that later, when i felt like nothing ever brought me joy anymore, i could think, no, that's your depression lying to you, you felt joy, however small, right there in the shower just yesterday. And, maybe there is more somewhere else.

Even today, it's been a hard week, i'm feeling a lot of hopeless and helpless feelings clamoring away at me, but... i have spicy soup. And spicy soup is a NEW joy. I found spicy soup joy as i was following any little light i could out of the deepest part of my depression.

I never put hot sauce in soup before then. But today i am drinking the broth of a very spicy soup and as much as everything else is complicated and difficult and scary and dark, there is a bright mote of joy in this sip of spicy soup. And in the next one. And the next. I enjoy it, i love it, all the more that it is new, and if i had given up four years ago, i never would have known this small joy, this new favorite tiny thing.

Who knows what other little joys i may find?

If you have come to a place in life where you have lost the knowledge of how to feel joy, it is important to remember that feeling joy is like anything else in life. The more you practice, the better you get, the more of it you can do at higher levels.

And there are only so many minutes in the day. The more of them you spend acknowledging what feels good, the less of them will be left for feeling bad.

you can't escape the darkness by fleeing from it, but you can find the light by moving toward it.

Chop Wood Fetch Water

Another thing i learned was a truth about the exercise advice you always hear.

For where i am in my recovery now, common exercise has very little impact. I don't really get the endorphins people talk about, and i don't tend to feel better about myself after i work out unless i already feel pretty okay about myself to begin with. i don't mean to say there is no point in me exercising, but, i walk about ten miles a day holding onto 8 energetic dogs and i do a fair amount of lifting and bending and stuff for my job, and it's fine but it's not, like, doing a whole lot for me at this point in my recovery (tho i do think more recreational exercise will come back into play a stage or two on in my healing process)

HOWEVER

There was a year there where i was only getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. When i was only able to force myself to eat just enough each day to stay alive because i'd made a promise to myself, and that promise was almost all i had left.

and the right kind of exercise is what pulled me out of that.

the RIGHT kind.

See, someone close to me needed help with a physical job. That was an important part and why this method is known historically as some variation of Chop Wood Carry Water -- it's intensely physical, which is important, but also, it helps the people around you. These days our personal communities tend to not need wood copped and water carried the same way. But you can get the same effect helping someone move all their furniture, doing all the yard work for your friends and/or family, volunteering for a charity that builds housing for homeless people, SOMEthing physically taxing that helps people.

In my case, my aging father needed help re-shingling the roof. So i promised i'd help.

So i got up every morning because he was expecting me. And i climbed the ladder because he would see me if i didn't. And i lifted and carried and hammered and worked hard. It took a week of six to eight hour days.

Right away, the fact that it was helping someone else made it not matter so much that it didn't feel like it was helping me at first. I couldn't deny that i was doing something good, that my existence had positive meaning, however small.

But very soon, it changed something fundamental in my state of depression. You can't do physical labor in the sun 7 hours a day without drinking a bunch of water. Without working up an appetite. Without getting very tired at the end of the day.

See, i had been struggling to make myself drink enough water, i was fighting to make myself eat even one small meal's worth of food each day, and i couldn't get a good night's sleep to save my life. And these things all made my depression much much worse. You think you get sad or angry from skipping a meal, consider being chronically undernourished. You think your mental state is worse after pulling an all nighter, think about what never getting a good night's sleep does.

But a couple days into this job with my father, and suddenly i was hydrated, i was eating full meals, and i was sleeping soundly at night.

THAT is what pulled me out of that deepest part of my depression.

So in a way, it was exercise that saved me. But not how people often say "have you tried exercising?" More like pushing myself physically to the point that my body demanded the things that previously i couldn't get it to want for itself.

Instead of forcing myself to eat i was craving food. Instead of staying up to all hours and then tossing and turning, i was physically exhausted and slept early and hard. (and, weirdly, being physically exhausted was somehow a relief from being emotionally/mentally exhausted)

Lastly

Healing often isn't noticeable while you're doing it

"healing is a process" is something you hear a lot, but i think it's more helpful to say something like

"Healing is like growing your hair out from short to long. You can look in the mirror every day and not notice it happening. And even when you can tell for sure it's longer than it was, you still can't really do anything with it, and it may seem pointless. But then one day you can tie it back in a ponytail and you realize how much it's grown and how many options are open to you now and you're really glad you stuck with it"

Now excuse me while i go meditate on the joys of my remaining spicy soup.

#long post #my life #idk maybe this will help someone #depression

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theocddiaries · 2 months ago

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[IN THE CAR] Tim: I don't see Dami anywhere. Dick: Keep looking. Jason's friends said he went this way. Bruce: And how were those punks your friends? Whatever happened to Roy? Jason: We… had a fallout. Bruce: Honey, I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me? Jason: Jesus Christ, I screamed it into your face about ten fucking times! But no one ever pays attention in this family. [silence] Bruce: Do you kids really think I don't-- Radio: A helicopter has crash-landed in a storm culvert. According to police, a young boy is trapped in the water of the culvert at the corner of 139th Street. Dick: That has to be Damian. [They arrive at the place, full of firefighters, police people, reporters and some civilians]. Bruce: That's my son down there. [Grabs the megaphone from the fire chief]: Damian, we're here, baby! Daddy's gonna save you! Damian: … Go to hell! Bruce: What the fuck did you just say to me?! Damian: I'm mad at you! You don't care about me. You never cared about me! There's always something more important for you to pay attention to. I only exist so you can yell at me and ben--ground me. And when I needed you today, you told me, "Not now." Well how about now, Father? Bruce: Oh… He's absolutely right… [Through the megaphone]: Son… I'm--I'm sorry. I have been a terrible father lately. Dick [Takes the megaphone]: Your father is very sorry, Dami. Damian: And I'm mad at you too, Richard! Dick: At me!? What did I do!? Damian: You spent all your time with that stupid scissor-spoon that I cut my fingers on! Dick: It was called the Forkoontula, and it's still in the development stages, but you're right. I guess I have been ignoring you a lot lately, too. I'm sorry. Bruce [Takes the megaphone]: But that's over, sweetheart. I'm very sorry. I told myself I'd be a better father than my own dad, and that starts now. You kids mean-- You mean a lot to me. I love you. All of you. Just please come on home. We'll talk about it. Damian: …Can we go see horses then? Dick: Of course! All the horses you want! Bruce: For God's sake, Dick, just get him a fucking Lego farm! Dick: Bruce!! Bruce: Okay! Sure. We can look for horses. But no further promises than just go and look. Damian: Nice! Bruce: I don't want anything larger than a pony. Dick: We'll have to build a stupid stable, and you know it…

#incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #batdad #batman #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #damian wayne #dick grayson #tim drake #jason todd #source: f is for family

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wileys-russo · 1 year ago

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best friends sister II platonic!a.russo x reader

y'all have been sending in the requests for AI alessia being her gay older sister who plays for arsenal and i hope it satisfies because it was tricky to write lmao, so picture that ^ is isabella

best friends sister II platonic!a.russo x reader

"-and you promise that you're not mad?" your best friend bit down on her bottom lip nervously as you smiled as reassuringly as you could. "less of course i'm not mad! why would i be?" you laughed and shook your head at the blonde you'd all but grown up side by side with.

"because we always said the plan would be for you to go to university and me to play professionally in whatever club was closest so we could do it together, and i've ruined that!" your best friend sighed guiltily, collapsing back into her pillows.

"alessia. you are one of the best up and coming footballers there is, you've got a huge career ahead of you and this is the perfect next step to launch you into it. i'd be selfish cow and a terrible best friend to try and keep you from it." you promised sincerely, grabbing her hand and squeezing with a nod.

"will i miss you? of course. but i want you to go, i promise." you affirmed firmly. "and i promise that i'll make sure we don't drift apart. best friends for life means for life, and you better come and visit!" alessia held out her pinky as you grinned and interlocked it with your own.

"okay well that makes me feel a bit better because i was stressed about telling you!" the girl sighed and sat back up. "i've also been stuck with you for like ten years now, i'd really like a break." you shoved her playfully, ducking as she swung back at you with a grin and slid off her bed.

"please we both know you'll be a blubbering mess at the airport, your only friend off on a whirlwhind adventure and you...stuck here." alessia pouted sarcastically as you gasped. "i have loads of other friends thank you! you just refuse to accept that because you're notoriously posessive and needy." you teased back with a grin.

"and i'm off to university anyway you dickhead! where i'm sure i'll find myself a new blondie to spend my every waking day with." you jeered as she fumbled around in her cupboard for something. "you better not or i'll be forced to come back and kick her head in." alessia warned making you laugh.

"unless its a girlfriend of course, you desperately need one of those so you can stop kissing your hand." your best friend shrugged dropping a large box on her bed. "less! that was one time years ago and i told you that in strict confidence!" you kicked at her as she grinned, your cheeks blushing red.

"what? i wouldn't blame you for dating someone who looked like me, i know it's your biggest shame that you're secretly in love with me." the blonde pouted patting your leg making you roll your eyes.

"please. you know it's actually homophobic to assume that because i like girls that i like you, and here i was thinking you'd be an ally." you tutted as her eyes widened and she scrambled to ramble out an apology.

"an ally? please." you both looked up at the new voice, alessia's older sister isabella leaning in the doorway with a smirk. "have you heard of knocking?" alessia sighed as bella shrugged. "have you heard of not caring?" the older girl retorted walking into the room further as you covered up a laugh with a cough and alessia shot you a glare.

"see? she thinks i'm funny. why are you so in denial?" bella pouted, the two always arguing about something which amused you to no end given it was often over something so incredibly small it seemed they just enjoyed bickering.

there was only two years between them and they had more in common than either would care to admit, in fact both would argue they were one anothers opposite that really wasn't true.

you knew isabella had been training with arsenal in their junior academy and was hoping for a professional contract now she'd made her senior debut for the lionesses, both goals alessia was quickly following in her footsteps to also achieve, the entire russo household all football mad.

"what's all this then? college bribing you not to come anymore?" she began to rifle through the large box on the bed which you realised was full of various UNC swag. "get your filthy hands off it thank you! god knows where they've been." alessia scoffed, pushing her away and snapping the box closed.

"they're squeaky clean. want to check?" the older russo smirked, grabbing alessia by the face with her hand and pulling her into a headlock as you watched on in amusement. "get out! god i'm gonna miss you the least." alessia eventually pulled away, shoving the taller girl across the room with a glare.

"still admit you'll miss me though, and mum wants you." the girl winked backing away. "for what?" alessia questioned with a frown. "mm she did tell me, but i didn't care enough to remember." with a shrug bella left the room leaving alessia fuming and you quietly chuckling.

"why do you always egg her on by laughing! she's not funny she's infuriating!" alessia huffed glaring at you now as you held your hands up in defense, your best friend dragging you with her downstairs to see what her mum wanted.

"dinners ready. can you go get your sister and her friend please lessi?" carol asked, shooting the blonde a firm glare when she groaned at the request. "why do i have to come?" you laughed as she grabbed the back of your top, tugging you up with her.

"just think of it as me wanting to spend as much time with you before i leave." alessia grinned as the two of you ascended the stairs, her brothers already having moved out it just left alessia and isabella living at home.

"oh thats it is it?" you rolled your eyes knowing she was full of it as you reached her sisters door, alessia giving her sister the same courtesy she gave her as she flung her door open without knocking.

though she wished she hadn't.

"get out!" the older russo sat up quickly half naked spare some shorts and a bra, having been previously hovered over the girl pinned beneath her, the two clearly making out.

"jesus my poor eyes! dinners ready, looks like you were just about to eat though bella." alessia smirked before leaving the room, purposefully leaving her sisters door open.

"what are your ears painted on? fuck off!" bella scowled, throwing a pillow at you as you stood frozen, quickly spinning around and almost running out of the room, the door slamming closed after you.

safe to say she didn't come down for dinner after that.

"it's not even scary less, its a thriller!" you argued as you and alessia made your way back upstairs, each of you stating your case over what you wanted to watch tonight.

"my names not lily? jesus you're worse than what everyone says!" you both glanced down the hallway before entering alessia's room, the girl from earlier standing there with her arms crossed and an angry look on her face.

"sorry?" bella shrugged leaning in her doorway, clearly not sorry as the mystery girl whose name was not lily scoffed, shoving the taller girl and hurrying off downstairs to leave. "you truly are disgusting." alessia grimaced as her sister only grinned.

"careful now ally, did you used to say the same about all the girls gio snuck round?" the older girl winked, leaving her sister scoffing and about to defend herself before the door thudded closed.

"god she is insufferable."

"can you go make more popcorn?" alessia asked, head buried in her phone as you nodded, more than comfortable to help yourself to anything in the russo household. "can i go and make more popcorn..." you trailed off expectantly as the blonde tossed her phone beside her.

"now?" she guessed with a grin, causing you to flip her off as she tossed an m&m at your head and began to rummage around for the remote to select a new movie.

with it being half past ten at night you expected the kitchen to be vacant, though you noticed the lights were all on and as you rounded the corner you saw the older russo sister sat at the benchtop eating a plate of leftovers from dinner.

her attention on her phone she didn't notice you at first, only looking up as she heard you start to rummage around in the pantry. "surely we've started to charge you rent by now?" the older girl teased as you emerged with a bag of popcorn, rolling your eyes and tossing it in the microwave.

"i'll make sure to sign a jersey for you once i get my pro contract so you can sell it and buy my family some food since you consume so much of it." the taller girl shoved your head to the side playfully as you moved out of her way so she could rinse her plate.

"so. did you enjoy the little show earlier pervert?" she smirked, glancing at you as she dried up her plate. "what? you're so weird." you frowned, pulling yourself to sit up on the counter.

"please. you know if you asked me nicely i'd kiss you so you can stop wondering what it feels like." she grinned, moving closer to you as your frown turned into a scowl. "or so you can stop using your hand. less talks quite loudly you know." she teased, standing in between your legs as you tensed up a little.

if you were honest with yourself you'd always found her to be quite attractive but you'd never ever go there, both for your own and alessia's sake.

"i've kissed girls!" you defended truthfully, and you had, you'd just not ever progressed any further than that. "mm but have you been kissed by a girl?" the older russo quirked an eyebrow, leaning in closer as her hands fell either side of your body, somewhat caging you in.

"thats the same thing." you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore how hard your heart was hammering in your chest. "that means no then." bella chuckled, tilting her head slightly.

"i mean have you ever been properly kissed by a girl? when she's got her tongue roaming your mouth, her teeth nipping down on your bottom lip before she sucks on it to soothe the sting-" she leaned in closer as your eyes widened.

"-where one of her hands are on the back of your neck so you can't pull away until she lets you, and the other hand...well it touches other parts of you." the older girl grinned wickedly, her mouth ghosting yours before she put her plate back in the cupboard behind your head and pulled away entirely.

"baby gays are always the cutest." bella winked, ruffling your hair and walking off as if she hadn't just sent your head into a spin, the beep of the microwave making you jump a little as you slid off the counter, shaking your head to try and rid it of the thoughts you'd just had.

she was your best friends sister, she'd always be off limits.

"just when i thought we'd gotten rid of you." you rolled your eyes as isabella opened the door for you with a sigh. "no one else is here and your best friends in another country, so then you must be here for me?" she grinned as you pushed past her, heading for the stairs.

alessia had been gone for months now and you missed her like crazy, so much so you'd booked a flight to go and visit her during what was to be her spring break and your time off from your own university course.

though of course that meant the girl had texted you a rather elaborate list of things she'd left behind that she requested you bring with you to see her, which despite the ongoing teasing that she'd lose her head was it not attached to her body you agreed to go and collect.

"she'd kill you for being in here." you sighed as the older russo collapsed onto her younger sisters bed, making herself comfortable as you began to gather what alessia had requested.

"only if you snitch me in." the girl grinned, watching you as you fluttered around the room. "surely you have something better to do? being a big pro now and all!" you sighed, looking at her with your hands on your hips.

"so you did hear! not even a congratulations? thats just poor manners." bella tutted with a shake of her head, sitting up and moving to the edge of the mattress. "i'm not an arsenal fan." you teased with a smile, hearing her scoff in mock offence.

"you don't have to be, you can just be my fan." bella challenged as you again rolled your eyes. "you know if i had a pound for every time you rolled your eyes at me over the years i could have bought a house by now." the older russo sister grinned.

"must mean you say a lot of stupid things to have girls always rolling their eyes at you." you quipped, rummaging through and grabbing out two hoodies, tossing them onto your growing pile.

"i personally prefer to make their eyes roll back into their heads." the taller girl commented quite casually, your eyes widening for a moment at the abrupt statement but choosing to ignore it. "so what are you doing after this?" she stood and made her way out, leaning in the doorway.

"going home?" you quirked an eyebrow unsure where she was going with this. "do you want to watch a movie or something?" she asked surprising you.

"are you asking me to hang out?"

"maybe. you miss less, i miss less, though if you tell her that i'll deny it till the day i die, we may as well keep one another company."

"plus i'm older so less's entire personality comes from me anyway. so it'll be like she never left, just swap one russo for another!" she added on with a smile as you shook your head.

"yeah sure, why not."

"burn yourself with the straightener did you?" you flinched suddenly as the girls thumb gently pressed into a fading love bite on the side of your neck, the only lingering evidence from an incredibly drunken hook up at a university party you'd gone to over the weekend.

and much to your best friends horror and delight, where you'd finally lost your virginity, before her.

"none of your business!" you pushed her hand away as she smiled and turned her attention back to the movie. well, for a few minutes. "finally dropped the baby gay card then, feel good?" she teased as you rolled your eyes.

"stop calling me that."

"oh sorry, prefer if i just call you baby then?"

"stop, bella seriously."

"what?"

"can you not keep it in your pants around anyone? or do you just shamelessly flirt with anything that moves?" you shot her a dirty side eye only making her smile widen. "well the something has to be female, obviously." you tried to hide your smile with your hand but she grabbed your wrist.

"saw that!" she teased as you tried to pull away, the two of you messing around for a moment before she leaned in and your heart began to race, recognize her eyes flicker down to your lips.

"we can't." you whispered, hating how unsure your voice sounded. "tell me to stop and i will." she whispered back, leaning in even closer as you opened your mouth and she paused, but you couldn't speak.

taking that as permission she closed the small gap in between you both, pressing her lips firmly to yours. you'd have loved to say you pushed her off, told her again that you couldn't, thought about your best friend and what she might think.

but the only thing that consumed your mind was her and how good her mouth felt molded with your own. as you began to kiss back you felt her hands move, grabbing your hips and pulling you to straddle her lap, movie long forgotten in the background.

"alessia." you pulled away remembering your best friend as the older girl nipped at your bottom lip and your stomach twisted. "doesn't have to know." bella promised and you hesitated for a moment, but as her lips curled into a cocky smile and her hand flew to the back of your head, you knew you were a goner.

safe to say that was not the last time it happened, far from it.

you ignored the guilt which bubbled up in your stomach as you pretended it never happened, flying over to see your best friend and spending two blissful weeks with her, then flying over again a couple of months later to watch her in the she believes tournament where she would finally get her senior national team debut.

though of course that also meant isabella would be playing, and their whole family would be there with you.

"i'm so so proud of you!" you yelled happily as your best friend jogged over, shit eating grin on her face as she wrapped you up in a hug, isabella hanging back as she chatted with some of her team mates, though her eyes lingered on you.

and it was those lingering eyes which eventually did you both in.

you were all out for dinner after the game, you seated beside your best friend and luca, gio opposite him as the other russo sister sat across from you and mario across from alessia, carol at the head of the table.

you'd hardly spoken to her the entire time you'd been around, focusing all of your time and attention on the rare moments spent with your best friend who you knew you'd have to say goodbye to again in a few days time.

however that didn't stop the defender from trying to gain your attention, sending you subtle looks across the table as she kicked you playfully, winking at you when alessia wasn't looking.

well, when she thought she wasn't looking.

dinner finished you excused yourself to the bathroom, declining your best friends offer to come with you with a laugh as you promised to meet them outside the restaurant.

you did your business and washed your hands, hearing the door open but not bothering to look up, jumping in shock as arms wrapped around your torso and a familiar pair of lips pressed themselves to your neck.

"bella we can't." you chuckled, though still leaning your head back a little to give her more access, eyes fluttering closed as she peppered the warm skin with butterfly kisses. "can't we?" she smirked at you through the mirror with that same cocky smile that made your knees weak every time.

"i've missed you in camp." she confessed softly, spinning your body round and pushing it into the bathroom counter, wasting no time rewarding you with a searing kiss which sent your head spinning.

"they'll wonder where we are." you exhaled shakily, using all your willpower and pushing her off you. "you won't escape me later." she warned playfully, nodding for you to leave first as she hung back.

it was several hours later, you and alessia hanging in your shared hotel room together catching up just like normal, your combined laughters echoing around the room as the girls phone suddenly buzzed.

"hey i have to go talk to the training staff about something. but find a movie, i'll be back!" she promised, rolling off the bed as you nodded, not bothering to question why she was suddenly needing to speak to the training staff at almost ten at night.

alessia wasted no time marching down the hallway to where her sisters room was, knocking impatiently as she answered. "oh come on in!" the older russo chuckled as alessia shoved past her, checking the two of them were alone.

"how long?" alessia asked, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at the taller girl who frowned, sitting down on the edge of her bed. "pardon?"

"how long have you been fucking my best friend behind my back?" alessia spat, scarily calm as a storm brewed behind her bright blue eyes. "look less-"

"no, don't lie. i saw your little fuck me eyes across the table, and it wasn't her leg you kept kicking at the table. so tell me the truth." alessia warned as her sister sighed, rubbing her face with her hands unsure how to find a way out of this.

"we haven't slept together, i promise."

"but?"

"but we've done, other things."

"you are seriously unbelievable. you couldn't just be happy plowing your way through every insecure footballer in london, you had to go for my best friend?" alessia yelled angrily, fists balled by her sides.

"woah okay less i think you're overre-"

"you're going to stay away from her bella. she's not just another name for your books, she's my best friend and a better sister to me than you've ever been!" alessia fumed, hurt flashing across the older girls face momentarily before it hardened.

"it takes two to tango. you gonna go yell at her too then?"

"she can't have known any better, which is why you're going to stay away from her. i won't let you take advantage of the fact she see's the good in people, as little of it exists in you."

"fine. get out!" the taller girl stood, shoving her sister back who scoffed, turning on her heel. "happily!" the door slamming after her, you none the wiser of anything that had just happened as alessia returned, plastering a fake smile on her face and not uttering a single word about it.

which is why it hurt all the more as you slipped out of your room to call your mum that next morning as to not wake your best friend.

making the mistake of glancing down the hall, you watched as a random girl slipped out of one of the rooms, a familiar face kissing her goodbye with a grin.

you froze and thats when her eyes met yours, not a single look of regret on her face as you stared one another down for a moment before she watched you hurry back into alessia's room.

she was your best friends sister, and that's all she'd ever be to you.

#woso x reader #alessia russo x reader #woso fanfics #woso #alessia russo #woso imagine #woso blurbs #engwnt

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shankss-magnificent-ass · 1 year ago

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Imagine going to an Onsen with Shanks

After scouting a new island with your captain

You: ugh I stink

Shanks: Stomping through the woods will do that to you... How about we stop for a bath, before heading back to home? *Points at a public Onsen.*

You: I dunno

Shanks: it'll be fine, come one *grabs your hand and pulls you into the bath house* Two for the mixed bath please.

You: the mixed bath?

Shanks: yeah, they're usually empty this time of day.

You: is that your only reason?

Shanks: no, I need help washing, seeing as I'm down an arm.

You: *grumbles, but presses your face into his back out of embarrassment* you're unbelievable.

In the shower area

Shanks: *humming softly as you scrub his back with an exfoliating towel until you get to his right shoulder* Careful not so hard

You: I'm barely applying any pressure.

Shanks: my shoulders are often really tense, and have been since loosing my arm.

You: hmm let me try something, *digs your thumb into the sore muscles of his neck and shoulder*

Shanks: *moans* oh fuck

You: that hurt?

Shanks: no, don't fucking stop

You: I should finish scrubbing first, I'll help you unwind in the bath, the hot water should help.

Shanks: *huffs in frustration as you resume exfoliating his body* fine, just don't forget the front.

You: Excuse me?

Shanks: my front also needs to be scrubbed, arms and legs too.

In ten minutes

You: alright I'm finished.

Shanks: your turn, *spins around and pulls you against his chest*

You: *yelps* I can wash myself!

Shanks: I know you can, I just want to return the favor. Wring out the towel for me.

You: boss -

Shanks: *pulls the towel out of your hands and starts to run it over your skin*

You: *whines when he finishes your back, and he tugs you into his lap to start on your front*

Shanks: *kisses your neck as his towel-clad hand gropes at your chest* see this is not so bad, yeah?

You: I suppose not, Captain.

Shanks: good because I'm just getting started *slides the soaked towel down your body to start between your legs*

In the hot spring

You: *more hot and bothered than you care to admit*

Shanks: if I recall correctly you promised me a massage.

You: I suppose I did, but I can't do it from the front.

Shanks: of course you can, let me show you *repositions you, so you're straddling his lap and gives you a dirty grin*

You: *knows he's doing this on purpose and decides to torment him back* alright I'll get started then *starts to rub his neck, while grinding down on his hard cock.*

Shanks: *blushes and moans,* oh fuck, sweetheart I didn't know you were so talented at this.

You: *leans forward, so your mouth was dangerously close to his* I've had quite a bit of practice.

Shanks: *starting to feel drunk and short of breath, so he pulls you away*

You: *smirks* aww what's wrong boss?

Shanks: can't handle this and the steam.

You: then let me move behind you, maybe you'll be able to breathe better.

Shanks: you did that on purpose.

You: Does that sound like me?

Shanks: *chuckles* alright you win, do it your way. It's probably for the best, if I came I'd probably have to pay some sort of cleaning fee.

You: *slides behind him and resumes rubbing his back* a wise decision, the quarter master would be mad at you since he'd have to pay it.

Shanks: and none of them would believe me for a minute if I told them I came because you were humping me.

You: Indeed.

Shanks: come here *twists backwards and pulls you into a kiss* perhaps we can continue this back on the ship?

You Maybe

List of Up-and-coming works

Support me on Kofi and Patreon

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece imagine #one piece scenario #red hair shanks #red haired shanks #akagami no shanks #shanks x reader #red hair shanks x reader #akagami no shanks x reader #red haired shanks x reader #from the depths of the dragon's hoard #tma original #8/30/23 #no beta we die like men

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octoberautumnbox · 27 days ago

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Happy Anni-box-sary!! :DDDD

Whew! It's been a year since I've started writing on this platform (and in general fsgsdjkfghjadskfh), and what a wild ride it has been. Ups and downs scattered throughout the year, but I really wouldn't have it any other way :uwuge:

All that said, let's move onto the box 2024 recap!

Yuri fics I've written: 8

Fly in the Night Trip

Love in the Night Train

Juicy Juicy

Friday

Adrenaline

Enjoy

I Got All I Need

Like It Like I Love It

buncha drabbles I didnt count, some of them fluff, some of them angst, all of them box 📦‼

Yuri fics other people have written: 6

@fillinforlater's Friends that can Keep a Secret

@birchleavesdawn's Bitter Taste

@xshadowdelta's Former Manager pt. 1: Back in Town

@usedpidemo's Cruel Flower

@prael's Reality

@leafostuff's Operant Conditioning

Non-Yuri fics I've written: 11

in my best attempt not to double count when there was more than one idol in the fic (lmao),

1 for soloist Chaeyeon

1 for Kiss of Life

2 for woo!ah!

2 for tripleS

2 for Kep1er

3 for fromis_9

Funnest fics to write:

Hell Week: despite not doing sins's prompt justice, I really did enjoy how I built Yubin and OC's character, even as the writer i fell in love with how sweet Yubin came to be, and while I do think the sex could have been fluffier, i do like how i wrote the ending :DDD

Cute and Caring Noona from Apartment 424: i think deep down inside i knew the apartment thing was gonna come back, even at the time, though i had to promise myself it wouldn't be a series. Yujin and Xiaoting are still a killer duo i'd love to write but it wouldn't fit that well with what i've decided on what the apartment fics will be, instead i'm going with the direction that The Sultry and Pervy Soda in Apartment 307 went and go from there

Like It Like I Love It: EASILY my top 1 from this year. it was everything reader box would have wanted in a yuri fic: a casual relationship, a possibility that there's something more in it, hot sex (literally), and just the right amount (maybe a bit too little) of showing off babygirl yul. i really hope this isn't peak box but going back to why i started writing in the first place, which is that i wanted to see more quality yuri fics, this was something that if i were still a reader would have sated me for at least another year. good job box!

Idols/Groups I've come to know:

Kiss of Life: I think they debuted before me? I noticed Natty first bc ofc I did 😭 but quickly fell in love with how Bobsky just vibes so well with them aaaaaaa

tripleS: I started paying attention around Girl's Capitalism but I knew of them since Generation. I still know only like ten of them and still need to look up whether they're of age or what number S they are but I've written the group thrice now so worth :DDDD

Kep1er: zozi was tough for wizones and I'm not exception, so there was a lot of animosity to this group starting out. I only really started loving this group because of choiyuj, and it was me falling in love with that tiktok that cookies n seggs noona was ever made and it's been upwards ever since

Collabs:

One Heck of a Joyride with @leafostuff: simultaneously this took way too long and not long enough LMAO we started in Feb and released in May, if u can remember Best Job Ever and Like It Like I Love It came out in May too so that was hectic for me. but it's my first and to date only long fic and I hope someday to surpass it in terms of word count and idol nuguness :sitt:

Prompts:

@i-am-lifeform24's Curated Companions: this first major prompt I took part in, where I wrote Dito Muna Tayo :nolookk: it got me attention I didnt know how to feel abt (I still don't tbh) but it was a major step in the right direction to temper my expectations of myself: it reminded me to write for me

@msafterhours's Seasons: this was a major L for me jfkgjslahhf I wrote A Little Goes a Long Way, misunderstanding the prompt "Seasons" for "Seasoning" and making a cooking fic instead. it was a great laugh with him tho, and a memory I come back to fondly

@mintwithchoco's Favorite Song: I wrote Orange-Tinted Sunset with Sticky in mind but promising mint I'd break Belle's heart lmao, at the time my current favorite song switched from that to Nothing and it all just fell in place. I had the idea a long time ago for Haneul but this was the perfect chance to broaden my horizons yet again, and to my dismay it proved @0cta9on right that I kinda was okay at all three genres of fics that touched on after all :bearlazy:

Growth:

can't remember if I said it out loud on the tl but im not a serious writer! that just means that I dont consciously aim to improve how I write and I'm totally fine with the skills and style I have now, and any exp gained or skills learned is has been passively achieved

that said, I'm really so so happy with Fly in the Night Trip and Love in the Night Train. In my first ever fic i said i wanted my next work to be a smut, and that i would be able to write more of what i wanted on my blog soon. Enjoy was both of those, and i even got to write so much more of my ult bias throughout the year and then some. you could call it self-serving, or as @capslocked so eloquently put it, unconsidered readers, all of you. :sitt:

thats why im really happy to be able to come full circle with another fluff in Love in the Night Train, because i feel like it concludes such an awesome year in such an awesome way. id tell 2023 box that just keeping at it wouldve worked out so well, but the extra effort to write just a tiny bit better, to listen to @midnightdancingsol's advice, to stick with it even though work fucked us up (and still does) is going to be well worth it

Hiatuses: 2

ok obviously im not as proud of this one. but each time i did, it was me reevaluating how I run the blog and what sort of stuff I'm getting myself into. it was well worth taking a step back from writing and just figuring out what exactly I wanted to do, and the breaks did wonders for how I paced myself.

these were me asking myself questions that struck the very core of how I conduct this cacophony of a kpop smut blog. it made me aware of arbitrary rules I was holding myself to, and gave me a chance to do away with them. everyone has to clear out their inventory every once in a while, and these were mine :DDDD

Everything else:

ive stopped tracking notes bc I learned since I occasionally write nugu and non-smut to never expect 100+ and I'm always pleasantly surprised when I get there slfjglah but yeah, there's better things to keep track of like what I did above

these are what really matter to me: yuri, writing, and the community i've become part of. while I do think the 1022 club is a fun milestone to celebrate, anything else is a bit more work than i care to make a separate post about (except maybe on bluesky lmao)

at my core, im a glassy, a true fan of the little ball of sunshine that is jo yuri. i keep saying that as long as im able to make one of you lovely readers a fan of her too, i'll know i'm doing good! so to all you box followers, all you honorary glassys, please tune in to yuri! she just released her tenth(!!!) OST entitled Spring Days Pass, will appear in Squid Game season 2 which premieres on Dec. 26 on Netflix, and is bound to have a comeback lined up soon :cuteplead: please join me in supporting her! :DDDD

Aaaaand that's it I think? A wild ride for sure, and I'm happy to have spent it here doing what I love. Hopefully all you readers also show greater support to my fellow writers and friends on here, and as always, stay tuned for more box fics in the future!

Thanks for reading, and see you all in October Autumn Box season 2!!

#thought box #1022 club

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luveline · 2 years ago

Text

𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 | 𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

two | chapter list

Finding out you're a princess isn't half as intimidating as suddenly acquiring a full-time bodyguard. Especially when that bodyguard is disarmingly handsome, charming, and can't seem to stop flirting with you.

bodyguard!james, fem!reader, shy!reader, princess diaries au (sort of), all characters in their 20s or older, star-crossed lovers/ forbidden romance james isn't flirty this chapter i lied but he will be <3

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

Sirius Black smells like winter. The deep fragrance of cranberries, pomegranate, maybe cinnamon. You aren't certain, and if he weren't currently an inch from your face, you'd ask him what it is.

"You poor thing," he murmurs, dabbing very, very gently against the bruised skin of your cheek.

"It's not–" You hiss at sudden pressure. He immediately recedes. "It's not so bad,” you say weakly.

"I've half a mind to rag him around and take up the mantle myself."

"I'd love to see that," Remus says.

"I'd look good in the uniform, right?"

James doesn't look happy at their joking but he's been nothing less than a grovelling puppy since last night, and he breaks his silence to say, "You don't have to wear any make-up if it's going to hurt."

"Uh, yes she does. Imagine the headlines otherwise: Lost Princess Bruised Under the Imbecilic Watch of New Bodyguard," Sirius announces, sharing a not-so-private smile with Remus across the coffee table.

"It doesn't hurt," you say to James.

You're lying. Being smacked in the face with a door isn't just embarrassing, it really fucking hurts. James' biceps aren't for show, that's for sure. He'd swung open the door and you, having tripped seconds beforehand over the cord of your lamp, had been at the perfect height for it to bounce off the highest point of your cheek.

"Princess," he says now, as he'd said last night, "I'm so sorry. I can’t believe I made such a huge mistake.”

You think of his hands under your arms pulling you up into a standing position, and the way he'd tilted your head back. The barking order he'd given Frank to grab something to use as an ice pack, and the warmth of the pad of his thumb as it stroked the soft line of your jaw before you’d squirmed away. Crying all over your handsome bodyguard’s nice hands hadn't been something you'd pictured doing, not 12 hours after meeting him.

"It was a freak accident." You smile, careful not to push up your cheeks lest you invite another round of shooting pains. "Please don't feel bad. It's my fault for being up in the first place. I just couldn't sleep."

"If you want anything for the pain, let me know," Remus says.

"He has his own personal, extensive pharmacy," Sirius says. "You should take him up on it. I beg him every time we fly for some of the strong stuff and he never says yes. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity."

"Let's not start on the co-codamols," James says.

"I have ibuprofen," Remus placates.

"I don't need anything, I promise."

Some ibuprofen would be awesome, but you really don't want James to feel guilty. You want to forget it ever happened, embarrassed by both your idiocy and your tears, but the pain pangs white hot in your cheek.

"You want me to do your lips?" Sirius asks.

"How do you mean?"

Sirius pulls a metal palette of lip colours out of his small make up bag and shows them to you. He circles two with a disposable brush. "These would suit you. I wasn't sure about your complexion. Now I know, I'll get you more options when we're back in Genovia."

"Oh, um…" You shake your head at him apologetically. "I don't know. You should do what you think is best."

He puts the palette away. "You don't need anything you're unsure of. You don't need any makeup at all, darling, it only enhances what's already there."

"Decide quickly. We have ten minutes before we leave," James says. "Princess, are you sure this is everything you want to take?"

He taps your suitcase with the side of his shoe. You nod.

"You can bring whatever you want. All of your things, if you like." He gestures to your bedroom. "Though we can get you anything you need, and we will, you're welcome to pack everything."

"In a day, you'll know I'm not your princess. Less stuff to carry," you say.

"You're so sure," Remus says.

He speaks without timidity, laid back in your chair with an air of relaxation you wish you could master. He has a small mass market paperback tucked into one pocket of his jacket, the yellowed pages peeking over the hem, and his hand stuffed into the other. His pose doesn't speak of any arrogance. He looks happy to be here, and it puts you at ease.

"Do I look like a princess?" you ask. You don't mean to put anyone on the spot —you aren't fishing for compliments— so you steamroll your own question. "I just find it strange. Surely I'd know. I would've known before, I mean."

"Like a princess beacon?" Sirius asks.

"No, but… I don't know. I think I'd feel it."

Remus straightens a touch, grinning. "You look like him. The Prince. You have the same nose."

Remus stands up before you can ask him to explain. James offers to take his bag and he shrugs away from James’ hand with an annoyed huff.

To your surprise, James only smiles, cooing after him, "You know you love me, Moony."

"Well," Sirius says, zipping his bag closed and clasping his hands on top of it. "You can always have your things sent for once we're home."

Home for them.

Truthfully, deep down, you want to be a princess. Something in you is aching, is ringing, a string plucked, a tuner reverberating. Finally, something is happening to you, even if that something is unbelievable.

You're not used to having people around and this entire process has been hard. Getting hit in the face had sucked. But, to have company? This single hour has been one of the best you've had in a really long time. Sirius is sweeter than you'd thought, sarcastic but kind-handed, and Remus' dry humour has caught you off guard enough to laugh aloud. Even James' grovelling niceties have been shamefully enjoyable. You can't remember the last time you had someone around who wanted to comfort you.

And that's exactly why you're afraid to admit what seems true. You can't be a princess, because if you are, you get to have this for a little while longer, and that would be too good to be true.

Much, much too good.

"Alright, let's go. Sirius, you have the keys?"

Sirius swings his bag into James’ arms. “Am I driving?”

“That’s a stupid question.”

Another member of James’ security team meets you at your front door to help carry the bags downstairs and into the back of an SUV. You’ve never seen one in person. James won’t allow you to help and getting inside while they’re still packing the boot feels spoiled, so you stand at the corner with too many eyes on you. James stands beside you, one hand hovering at your shoulders to shield you, ridiculously, from the hedges, the other held aloft in level with his mouth, his fingers curled around a small radio. He’s enunciating clear, short instructions. He doesn’t sound as severe as you’d pictured someone in his occupation would sound.

“What’s traffic like?” he asks. The answer buzzes down the line, inaudible to you but obviously understood by James. “Alright, brilliant. We should be on schedule, then. Is everyone on team three ready for action?”

You can make the next answer out. “Yep, they’re waiting. You want them at the front?”

“Please. I want everyone we have, ideally.”

“Isn’t that overkill?” Sirius shouts from the passenger seat of the car, bent over the handbrake to be heard. “All three teams? That’s twelve men. None of my sources hint at any leaks.”

“I’m being over cautious.” James smiles at you, so suddenly you smile back on instinct. “Security on call get paid either way. Might as well make them work for it.”

He ushers you into the back seat, a cushy leather bench fit for three people. Sirius is quick to pop a section behind his chair for you to unveil a drinks fridge.

“Oh,” you breathe, legs lit and cooled by the light and the chilled air, “cool.”

“You’ll want to drink one before James assesses that they’re poisoned.”

You wince back. “Are they poisoned?”

“Probably not, darling girl. Why don’t we try them and find out?”

Sirius is a mixture of flirtatious and genuine that you can’t wrap your head around. He’s awfully handsome, too, which makes it worse: he’s tanned, his curls soft but shining, and he has the most perfect Roman nose you’ve ever seen. He’s almost as handsome as James.

“Let me be very clear,” he says, turning in his seat to face you, “I’m not an intelligence agent. I don’t know nearly as much as sweet Jamie about security, but I have a lot of friends in high places and, as far as I’m aware, nobody outside of the British or Genovian government knows what we’re doing here. And nobody has reason to hurt you just yet.” He grins. “It’s James’ job to be paranoid, but that’s all it is.”

You waver, and his cheerful smile fades.

He lowers his voice, tone sympathetic. “I can really try one first if you’re worried.”

The driver’s door opens and James climbs in. “Try what?” he asks. He moves through a routine quickly of safety checks like a learning driver would. He rolls up the open window and turns in his seat, gaze flitting between you and Sirius suspiciously. “Everything okay?”

“I think the Princess is a little anxious about leaving the country,” Sirius says.

“Yeah?” James asks, eyes back to the windshield. He turns the key, and the car warms to life with a low roar.

“A little.” You nudge the fridge closed with your foot.

“What was that?” James asks. “Is that a fridge? Do me a favour, don’t drink any of that. I'll get you whatever you want at the airport.”

“She can’t have a bottle of water from the fancy four by four but airport drinks are fine?” Sirius laughs.

“Spike one fridge’s worth or the entire supply chain?” James asks.

“What if this assassin is inefficient?”

“Assassin?” you ask.

James glares at Sirius, their joking suddenly culled. "There are no assassins, Princess. He's being ridiculous." He looks to you with a smile. "You have everything?"

Your sickly grimace has him giving pause. All fake smiles and dramatics fall away, and in its place is the genuineness you'd been met with last night.

"Hypothetically," he says, "there are assassins. In reality, there absolutely are not. You're not in any danger, alright? Sirius is the master of badly timed jokes."

"Okay," you say meekly.

James nods and you buckle in, sitting back in the comfiest car seat you've ever been privy to as you turn your face to the window. You look up at your building, shrinking as the car starts to move. You drive further and further away, until you turn a corner, and your life is out of view.

—

James is worried about you. As an acquaintance, he's starting to think you're a worrying person. There isn't a whole lot of spark behind your eyes —you rival Remus for number of tired smiles.

He wonders why you hadn't packed any of your art supplies. Your room is teeming with them. Even if you're correct and you aren't a Genovian princess after all, there's still a day or more before they can actually confirm it. Factoring in travel time, you won't be home for at least a week. A week without your sketchbooks and paints and pencils.

As your bodyguard, as a bodyguard, James has always taken concern in his charge's overall health, mental and physical. You don't seem ill, but you do seem unhappy.

"Are you afraid of flying?" he asks, hoping that will explain your distance. He stands less than half a foot from you. He'll allow you some more space just as soon as you're not in an airport.

"I'm not sure," you answer.

Another peculiarity, you're a pathological liar.

Okay, that's unfair. You aren't pathological. James is an excellent judge of character as his job requires. He's gotten good at profiling a person's motivations. Your motivation is to become the smallest version of yourself that you can be, any possible imposition set aside, such as your plain refusal of painkillers when your cheek can't not hurt.

"Is there something I can do? To help you feel better?"

"Is that your job?" you ask, voice lilting upward with self-consciousness.

"Kind of. You know, as soon as your paternity test is recognised, you could ask for just about anything. An assistant, as many assistants and attendants as you want. Your security will most certainly increase, especially when the Palace makes a statement." He notes your widening eyes and backtracks. "It's not really my job, but I wouldn't mind. If you think of anything, let me know."

You hide your hands in the pockets of your hoodie. You're dressed as he advised, comfortably and nondescript.

"Do you need anything from me?" you ask.

He hides his surprise, his eyes doing another lap of the semi-private waiting room he's ushered you into. He takes in business men, officials, and diplomats for the tenth time in half an hour.

"I don't need anything from you, Princess. Thank you."

"I don't want to make your job any harder than it is."

"You haven't."

"That's not true," you murmur, bruised cheek angled toward the floor and away from view.

"That was my fault, not yours," James says.

He remembers the heat of your tears running down his index finger.

"That was my mistake," he reaffirms.

You don't answer, but James knows it isn't an agreeable silence. Which is fine, he isn't trying to dominate your opinion, would never assume he had the right to police what you're feeling. He wants to reassure you more than he strictly should.

This might be harder than I thought, he thinks.

"The flight is near enough three hours. You're sure you don't want anything to take with you? If you're worried about dietary restrictions, there's a salad bar in the Mastercard lounge. I'm sure we can get someone to make you something up."

"I'm fine… Will you be hungry?"

He laughs. "You really don't understand the employee-employer dynamic, do you?" he asks, not unkindly. "You don't have to worry about me."

He's teasing you. He knows he's done a good job when you lift your head.

"I don't think you can talk about employee-employer dynamics," you say, flicking your eyes down to your cheek's bruise.

“Oh, nice! That was a quick one. We'll make a Genovian of you yet, they're all sarcastic."

"They? You aren't Genovian?"

"Do I look Genovian?" he asks, gesturing to his face. You splutter. "I'm messing with you. No, I'm not originally from Genovia, but my heart is hers."

"You've always lived there?"

"Since I was two."

Your expression dims. It takes James a second to connect the dots.

"There are plenty of people living in Genovia who aren't native. Remus is Welsh, can you tell? His accent hasn't quite survived it."

"James, you and Remus, and Sirius, you've met before? You all seem familiar."

"We went to the same boarding school. Well, we actually shared a room. We–" He feels heat washing across his face at his unprofessional phrasing. "We're best mates."

"And you all get to be together," you say.

"Yeah, we do. We're lucky. Before this, Remus was working as a royal tutor for the young elites, and Sirius was trying to micromanage Julianna. That's your cousin."

"The Princess' cousin," you correct.

"You brought us back together," he says without arguing. "You'll have to forgive me for hoping you are who they say you are."

"Lily never really explained, how I- I mean, why they think it's me."

"Well," he says, stepping closer to you still, and lowering his voice, "my assumption is that, because the Prince's passing was a freak accident, they hadn't really planned for a different successor."

"Well, what were they going to do? He'd pass on eventually."

"I believe there were hopes he'd marry a Duchess."

"And have a legitimate child."

"Yes. You are, to the majority, a secret. The Prince would have been seventeen at the time of your conception, which is a royal scandal if I've ever heard one."

"Seventeen?" you ask.

"Lily didn't tell you any of this?"

"Honestly, uh, she might have. I wasn't–” You clear your throat. "Wasn't really listening? I had a pretty bad migraine at the time, and I was tired?”

"You were overwhelmed with finding out that you're a princess."

"That I might be a princess."

"Sure. When they told me I might be Prince of Italy, I had the same reaction."

You wrinkle your nose at him, the most forceful thing you've done in his presence. He laughs a storm, only tamping it down when he remembers he's a professional.

Soon, the boys return from their airport traipsing. Remus makes a comment on James' little smile, and he pretends to zip his lips closed when they both spot Sirius' probing glances. James moves your entourage to the aircraft then, not private but almost, and you board into first class seats, two per each side of the aisle and partitioned by a sheet of frosted plexiglass.

You and James sit together.

He doesn't subject you to conversation. He's technically working, and so while he relaxes into his seat and stretches out his tired legs, he doesn't completely forgo vigilance.

You look around in awe for some time. Eyes widened just slightly, lips parted, you sit up and sneak glances at everything you can.

James knocks on the partition. “You want the fan? The heater?"

"The fan, please,” you say, and he supposes you do look a bit warm around the collar.

He doesn't bother saying of course, or no worries, or no problem. He's a problem solver. If you're going to be under his watch, he's going to make it as easy on you as he can. That means letting you be thankful without shrugging it off.

Your eyes close quickly. Your eyelashes flutter imperceptibly in the fans slow breeze, and your lips part as you fall into sleep. Last night's disruption had been hard on you no doubt.

James stands and eases sideways down the aisle to check on Remus and Sirius. Remus sits reading, while Sirius leans into his space, a magazine open but unread on his thighs.

"Anything for me to read?" James asks Remus.

Remus knows exactly what James is up to. If he appreciates or abhors the extra attention is anyone's guess, until he digs through the bag at his feet and pulls out one of his Russian philosophy novels with a smirk. "This or the newspaper."

James takes the worn paperback with a wry look of defeat and reaches over and across to Sirius head of curls, tugging one cruelly.

Sirius looks up, but is only irritable when he notices that it had been James, and not his seatmate.

"What?" Sirius demands.

"Do you need anything?"

"No. Quit mothering. And maybe get some rest?"

"I can't."

"You most certainly can. Swap out with Frank, or Mickey or someone."

James swaps out with Mickey. Mikkelson, please keep an eye on the entryway. Yes, boss. He returns, finding you weren’t as asleep as he'd thought. You look at him through lashes. You've gone soft, in little regard for your appearance, and he's glad for it. Watching you is like watching a spring stretched tall, and now you've finally snapped into yourself and deflated.

"You alright?" he murmurs.

You nod, and he sits, and when he doesn't get up you fall asleep again, like you'd been waiting for him to get back. You sleep for hours through turbulence, Sirius' roaring laughter, Remus' answering chuckles, and the flight attendant who scolds them. James wishes he could do the same, reading a mind-numbing forty pages of Russian literature densely translated and sipping on a glass of coke, the ache of an oncoming headache pinching behind his eyes.

The hubbub doesn't wake you. The plane lands and you sleep on.

James whispers your name quietly, louder when you fail to rouse. Finally, he gives in and squeezes your shoulder. Resting heat radiates through the fabric of your hoodie, your hair frizzy where it's rubbed against the seat behind you.

You wake with a cough. "James?"

"We're here, Princess, in Genovia."

"That was," —you yawn, turning to hide your face so he can't see— "fast."

You look like you might fall asleep again. His heart does an awful little flip, which he dutifully ignores.

"It was hours. You've slept the whole time. A good thing, huh?" He bends down until you're face to face, close enough to share your breath. "That bruise is getting worse. Remus will give you painkillers, and I'm gonna get you an ice pack as soon as we're off the plane." He squeezes your shoulder again. "Up. Come on."

You nod and rub your eyes, stretching in your seat. He averts his gaze and stands as tall as he can, shoulders hunched to avoid clipping his head. Remus has made no efforts to move yet and Sirius is in the aisle, pulling their bags into his arms.

"Are you alright, Moony?" James asks.

Remus has gone ashen.

"He has a migraine,” Sirius says quietly.

"Can you see okay?" James asks.

Remus gets blurry, occluded vision when he gets these sudden migraines. He winces, hand over his eyes, and says, "Not really. Can I have your sunglasses?"

"Yeah," James says, holding in the, of course you can, I'd genuinely die for you, that he wants to add.

He slides his rucksack off of his shoulder and takes his sunglasses from the front pocket. He taps them into Remus' hand.

"You'll have to touch up the Princess' bruise for me," Sirius says.

James startles. "What?"

"It's easy–"

"I'll take Remus," James says.

"You can both go do your jobs, I'll be fine," Remus mutters, flinching at an invisible, biting pain.

"No," they both deny.

Remus doubles over.

"All you have to do is stipple it," Sirius whispers fervently.

"Sirius, I don't know what stippling is."

"Dots of makeup. She knows what shade we chose. Here, take my bag. There's a clean brush."

Remus hasn't always let them take care of him. His disabilities have made him the subject of disdain, pity, and misguided attention, which he has never, ever wanted, and he'd mistaken their friendship for lots of things at first. Nowadays, he accepts the help that he needs, help that his friend's are happy to give, and disregards their smothering overkill otherwise. That being said, Remus has always found it easier to accept help from Sirius than James. They all know it and none of them bother saying why that is aloud. James leaves him to it.

James ushers you back into your seat where you'd been standing tentatively in the aisle and presents the little make up bag. He kneels in front of you.

"I'll get the painkillers," he says, remembering his earlier promise, "Sirius is preoccupied, so you're stuck with me on touch ups."

"Is it bad?"

"No. Does it feel bad?"

Your slow response is telling. "No," you lie, "it's not that bad." You point at one of the colours through the clear case. "I think it was that one."

"Thank you," he says, murmurs, opening the case. There's a brush tucked inside, and he picks it up clumsily. He is completely out of his depth, but James Potter doesn’t give up, nor baulk in the face of new things.

"Does he have a mirror? I can do it myself, if you want,” you say.

"If he does, he didn't give it to me. I promise not to mess you up too badly, Princess. Put your trust in me,” he teases.

James presses the brush into your chosen colour and pats. The concealer is harder than he'd thought it would be, tough under the brush. It all looks silly in his hands.

"Lean your head back for me," he says softly.

You tip your chin up. Your eyes close as he begins.

He's too careful. The colour doesn't want to transfer. "Sorry," he murmurs, applying pressure. You wince but say nothing to stop him. "Tell me if it hurts too much."

"It's only a bruise."

"You're allowed to be hurt. And you should be more angry with me."

"It was an accident."

"It was my mistake." He watches the bruise blend away under concealer, but the colour doesn't quite match your skin. He tries his best to blend out the edges. "A professional mistake, which means you're more than allowed to be annoyed."

"I'm starting to think you want me to be mad," you say. You're trying not to move, and so each word is half a whisper.

"I do. I want you to be furious. It's ten times harder to keep someone safe when they have no self-preservation. And it’s a little concerning. I’m used to immediate revenge."

He gives up on the brush and uses his pinky finger to smudge out the blocky colour he's left behind. Your skin is scorching under his touch.

"So if I'm angry with you, that makes your job easier?"

He hums. "Mh-hmm. Much easier."

You hold your breath as he finishes up, a gentle patting motion as he was instructed.

"How some girls do this every day," he mutters.

"It gets easier."

"Yeah?" He drags his pinky down your cheek without thinking. "Hopefully this is my last time. It looks fine. Maybe don't stop in direct sunlight."

He collects all of his things and pulls the makeup bag into his chest, easing his way out into the aisle again. You follow. Everyone else has de-boarded the plane besides a pearly-smiled flight attendant, whose smile grows impossibly wider as they approach.

"Everything okay today folks?" he asks. "How was your flight?"

James offers thank-yous and guides you down the length of the plane to the exit. You're quiet from the plane to the steps, his hand ghosting your shoulder, to the tarmac, where your security entourage awaits. Including James there are eight bodyguards. Two stick close, five form a mock perimeter around you.

"Unfortunately, you might draw attention from the protection detail alone. It's up to you, Princess, but I can hide your face."

"Is that… dramatic?"

"It's completely up to you. I don't think it's dramatic. Just depends on how comfortable you are with your face potentially on TV."

"Can I– Maybe I'll stay close," you say, pulling your hood up.

"Just prod me if you're uncomfortable."

He takes you by the elbow and you walk. There aren't any paparazzi waiting outside, and James thinks maybe the news of your arrival has escaped them, and you won't be exposed to the madness that is paps with a story like this one, until he sees Sirius and Remus waiting at the glass doors into the airport with wringing hands.

A crowd of cameras waits inside.

"Can't we go around?" Sirius asks.

"They have to check our passports, idiot," Remus says.

"You can’t fucking see around them, mate," Sirius says to James.

James motions for you to stand where you are and crosses the gap to get a better look. Mickey takes his place by your side.

"Fuck," he hisses, because the crowd is a herd, a sea of Genovian’s waiting to see their new princess, "what the fuck is that? I thought nobody knew we were coming."

"Should I be worried?" he hears you ask quietly.

"Mikkelson, give the Princess your sunglasses,” James orders.

"So yes, then," you say.

James props open the door with his foot. "Princess, you're going first, behind me. They'll expect you in the middle. Hopefully that'll minimise what they can get, we’re going to be quick." He holds out his arm.

You slot perfectly underneath it.

"Ready?" he asks.

You don't look very ready. You nibble your lip and nod anyhow, tucking your face into his front. James walks you forward, into a storm of white flashes and shouting, the precipice of your new life.

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter <3 please consider reblogging if you did, I'd love to know what you thought and what you want to see in the next one! and a happy new year !!!!

#james potter fic #james potter #marauders era #marauders #james potter x reader #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter fluff #james potter blurb #james potter drabble #james potter imagine #james potter fanfic #james potter fanfiction #the marauders

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blueberry69x · 6 months ago

Text

Kai Parker x Fem! Reader. Smut.

Wc:3185

Hope you enjoy!! :)

DO NOT copy my work please!

My friends would never approve. And neither did I anymore. One time. That had been it. Enough of him I'd had.. That was a big lie. But I kept telling myself it, cause maybe if I said it often enough it'd turn out to be true.

I hadn't seen him the last two weeks. Good. Because I can't face him right now.. Hell I can't face him ever again.

Caroline chewed on her bottom lip nervously. "Have you seen Stefan yet? I invited him over today. Though I'm afraid... He may not take me up on my offer."

"Relax. He'll be here soon." I sent my friend a reasurring smile as she let out a breath. Slowly I looked around. So many people. I should've never agreed to come to a party like this one. He was bound to walk in at any second. I knew him a bit. Party crasher. Sex on legs.

No one knew. I kept it that way. He had luckily for me- Agreed to keep it quiet too. Despite him not wanting to... I wasn't one to randomly hook-up. Not my cup of tea. But I couldn't resist him...

I just could not. His adorable smile. Those white teeth. Blue eyes. His hair- Rings! Damnit. I need to get over it..

Another drink. And another. I wouldn't allow myself to get drunk. Absolutely not.

Taking a deep breath, in through my nose and out through my mouth and... Repeat.

See I'm fine! Totally fi-.

"Mr. Sociopath at ten o'clock." Care whispered to me as I gave a curd nod, my head slowly turning, I took my time, pretending to scan the crowd first before I'd look at who had come inside..

My jaw clenched, whole body tensing.

Shit. Keep it cool.

Holy shit, he had about a three day stubble. Black boots, dark blue jeans, cuffed.. Jeans... A belt, rings, two bracelets. Both black. One looked like a string. The other like black beads. He wore a simple grey t-shirt. Simple but effective none the less. Then.. A leather fucking jacket- Where had he gotten that from-.

"Bastard." I mutter through clenched teeth. His eyes search the crowd too. Until finding mine where they stay and a shit eating grin lights up his face. In no time he's taking big strides over to where Caroline and I are and-.

"Hi." God this guy is quick. I look up at him. "What do you wa-."

He puts on this adorable smile. "You're ignoring my texts. Calls. I showed up at your house... About eight- if not more- Times. Why did you leave?"

Caroline her lips part in a knowing way. I shake my head. No. No. I can't have anyone know of this. Not even her.

"Malachai-." I grit out. He gives a nod. "Hm?" His eyes not once leaving mine.

"Answer me darlin'. Why did you leave my place?" He asked. "I made-." He looks down with a frown. First time I've ever seen him look... Uncertain?

I sigh. Take his hand and pull him away into an empty storage room, Liv is my friend.... She's the owner of this place she lets me..

"Oh~ Freaky.."

Pinch.

"Ow! What was that for-."

"I only have a few minutes before Care will suspect something..." I turn on the lights.

He stares at me with this.. This look I can't quite put my finger on.

"Why did you leave.. My place.. Y/n?" He asks me calmly to which I start to chew on my lower lip.

A few seconds of silence pass.

"Want me to do all the talking? Fine. I will." He nods.

"I woke up.. Right- Wait.. picture this.. I.. Woke up.. No.. Picture this. I'm naked and-."

I groan. "Kai.." His lips press together for a second.

"Sorry. I woke up-," He continues. "feeling.. Happy, very happy, giddy, I guess, so I take a look around. You've gone.. I don't hear the shower running. I listen, nothing. So... I frown to myself. Did I do something?"

He runs a hand down the back of his neck. "Then. I find your note. And I get the biggest stupidest smile back on my face-.."

Hey, so.. I'll be back in a bit..

I promise!! Uhm. So I am kinda

running some errands.. You know.

I will be back, haven't even had breakfast yet! ~Y/n <3.

"I go downstairs after my shower. And after I changed my sheets. And make you pancakes. With little smiley faces in syrup. I prayed you'd be back soon so the faces don't get ruined. And I sat on my couch. Waiting. An hour passes. Okay.. Maybe you just left.. Right?"

The tip of his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek.

"Two, three, four, five... Hours-."

'Hey. You done yet?'

'Y/n.. It's been two hours.'

'Why aren't you answering my texts?'

'What's wrong?'

'Did I.. Do something?'

'Y/n.'

'Y/n I'm sorry.'

"You ignored me. All I want to know is why? I even put a blueberry or two.. Or three or four or ten on your pancakes. What did I do? You promised me you'd come back."

My throat closes up further. I feel like I can't breathe. "I haven't even fucking changed my pillow cover! Every night I lay awake and when I'm lucky I pick up on the scent of you. Still left on my pillow case. It's almost faded completely. But I refuse to change it."

My mind flashes back to that night.. His subble against the inside of my thighs while he worked his tongue on me. The faces he made. The lewd and fucking hot faces he made. The way his mouth fit perfectly on mine, on my pussy, around my nipples. On my whole body... The dirty things he whispered. The way he gazed his sharp fangs across the vein in my neck but didn't feed on me.

How his hands felt. Grasping me everywhere. How he sounded. How he looked above me. How he looked under me. How his huge cock felt in my mouth. How it felt inside me. How he had been the best sex of my entire life. How deeply in love I am with hi-.

I had been too lost in my mind.. To realize he.. The door closed. He left. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. How I must've looked like a fool not saying anything and how fucking embarrassed he must be for admitting all this. Without getting an answer.

I rush out the storage room. "Kai!" I call out. "Kai!!" As my eyes hurriedly try to look for him. Nowhere.. He-. I lost him. I fucking lost him... I didn't even explain myself.. Goddamnit...

For the first time in two whole weeks I text him. Call him. 'Please Kai let me explain.' 'I didn't mean to.' I wince.

I'm such a bitch.

● ● ● ● ●

The next few days are spent sulking by me. I text and call. But he ignores me. I even go by his home. But he ignores me.. So this is how he felt these last few weeks?

I take in a breath of fresh air when something dawns on me. I need to go there.. Now.. He can't hide from me forever.

I'm such an idiot. I should've gone back here the first day after he left.

I open the door and walk inside the Mystic Grill. There he is, drinking his feelings away, if only I had thought of this immediately. Of course he'd go back here.

He looks at me, he looks sad, so fucking sad..

I walk over to him and slip into the bar stool located closest next to his. I watch as Kai downs a shot.

"Kai please.. I am so sorry please let me explain-."

"This one is on the house." The bartender winks at him. "Just like the rest."

He smiles. "Thanks." Before getting up to his feet and walking off, I don't hesitate and immediately follow after him.

"Frankly- I am not in the mood to talk or see you right now." Kai sticks his hands into his pockets and quickens the pace of his steps.

"I know, like you did last time I will now speak. You don't have to. I just want you to listen to me." He doesn't reply.

"I woke up.. Looking around. My body felt these weird tingles. I was so sore, but in the best way possible. Then I saw you, you were still sleeping with your head in the crook of my neck. I ran my fingers through your hair and you let out a sigh against my neck, I could feel your lips curling up into a smile. Even if you were sleeping.."

I ran my hand down my jacket. Smoothing out whatever I can.

"And what I felt in that moment scared the living shit out of me. My stomach did weird flips. I got hot all.. Over. However I took a deep breath and managed to move out from under you, even from off the bed without waking you up."

I bite my lower lip nervously.

"You turned to lay on your back. The sheets all messed up. You had kicked them off your torso, I watched for a fee seconds.. Probably even minutes as your chest rose and fell with the way you were breathing. You looked so at ease. So peaceful, so gorgeous.. I wished I could join you again.. Cause waking up in your arms was the best thing ever."

He didn't show any emotion besides the way his jaw ticked slightly there was nothing unusual about him.

"I got dressed. My panties were ripped so I sneakily stole your boxers." I smile vaguely At the memory. "What I felt.. Feel for you scared me. I wrote the note. Pressed a kiss to your lips. Ran my hands through your hair just one more time and then fleed. Was I planning on coming back after writing the note? Part of me wanted to.. But I didn't. I didn't because I knew. That if I did. I would never want to leave. I would want to spend the rest of my life with you. And that's not something you would have wanted. At least that's what I told myself. So I tried to let you go.. Ever since."

I didnt realize we stopped walking and his hands were cupping my cheeks. "Y/n. Listen to me. I may.. Look it-." He smirked. "But. I am not one to just sleep with anyone I meet. I am not one to jump into bed with the first girl that offers. I hadn't slept with anyone since I'd gotten out of the prison world besides you."

"Because I was secretly waiting on you. I wouldn't have cared if we ended up not having sex that night. I would've been over the moon with just the talking and out dancing together."

"It's not about the sex for me it's about you. Why can't you see that. Why did you run away from me.. I know you felt it too. Our connection that night-.. Went beyond anything.." He tries to search my eyes, desperately.

"I'm so sorry. I got so scared. It came to me so quickly... And I felt so much, so fast. That it scared me away. I am so in love with you it scares me shitless.''

Kai's lips part slightly as he sucks in a breath. I just realize what I confessed on accident.

"Fuck." He breathes out shaking his head as he wraps his arms around me. A gesture that comes as totally unexpected. But I happily accept it. Hugging him back.

"I'm not good with feelings at all. But what I do know is that I feel.. A lot.. For you and that scares me too. But it doesn't make me want to run.. I.. I don't want to run away from you. All I know is I wanna be as close to you as possible."

I can't help the smile forming on my lips as we both slowly let go of our embrace.

"Come back home with me.. I really want you to taste my pancakes... We can pretend these past few weeks didn't happen? You just came back... From your errands.." He gives me a hopeful look and I nod.

"Let's go big boy."

● ● ● ● ●

His pancakes are the best I've ever had.... His movie choices are amazing... His cuddles are the best. He's so... Warm.. And hard.. Soft too. All in the right places.

After the movies.. He decides to take a shower while I wait for him on his bed. We planned on falling asleep together too. Taking things slow.. Wanting to discover what our feelings really mean.

"Y/n! I'm done! You can come in immediately after me so I can leave the shower running!" He calls out to me as I obey and walk into the bathroom. His mirror is all fogged up so I draw a smiley face on it and a heart.

I hear the rain of water get louder. Meaning it's all hitting the floor. Meaning he just got out of the shower. "Awh.. A heart." I hear from behind me as I take a shaky breath when he moves closer to me.

Wiping away most the condence on the mirror. I dare to look up. He's looking right at me from the mirror. "Undress then darlin'." He smirks.

Smooth fucker-.

I give a nod and take a deep breath before I undress with his eyes on me. However Kai is getting dry himself too.

The sound of the water hitting the shower floor gets fainter and fainter. My heartbeat gets louder and louder and faster.. And faster, I can hear it loud and clear. Drumming in my ears.

Once I'm fully undressed I turn around. Facing him, he's blinking quickly a few times. My eyes go up and down again and again.

He's completely naked. His towel hung up on a small rack.

I watch him standing there. Damp messed up hair, beautiful face.. His adam's apple and collarbone visible. His pecs sculpted, nipples seem slightly hard. His chest heaving with the way he's breathing. Seems to be quite quick.

Like my own.

He has abs. Slight abs. Not too much. Just perfect. His waist is slightly curvy, curved inwards towards his hips, in the most masculine way possible. His v-line. Happy trail leads down to an area with dark curls.. Not too much hair overall though- Which leads to-.

That.

His cock is perfect. Long, thick and so hard. He's.. Hard. My mouth nearly waters at the sight.

His thighs are thick and strong. Just like his calves and even his feet are perfect. Don't get me started on his big arms- And those big, skilled hands with long fingers-.

"Kai." I mumble to which he shakes his head. "Slow." He just says. I nod in agreement even though I don't agree. The dampness between my legs says enough. Just like the way my legs wobble as I make my way over and into his shower.

I don't even think I'm in complete control of myself when the shower turns off and I walk back out without getting myself too wet.

I step back on the towel he has on his bathroom floor. I'm met with a Kai who looks at me confused. He opens his mouth to speak but before he gets the chance to. I push him back against the counter, lean up to him and kiss him.

Passion, lust, desperate, wanting.. Love.

Are the words I'd use to describe this kiss. My hands are placed on his chest. His hands are.. Everywhere. From the crook of my neck to my ass. Squeezing.

Kai pulls back panting. "You.. Said.. Take it.. Slow." He manages, to which I shrug. "Changed my mind." I smirk and grab his hair pulling it back slightly to which he moans in response.

God how much I missed that sound.

I kiss his neck. Sucking on a few spots I know he enjoys...

He then suddenly puts me down on the counter and stands in between my spread open legs.

In no time he has two of those deliciously long fingers pumping in and out of me. "Holy fuck you're so wet." He groans out and moves them even faster. His other hand toys with my breasts.. Twisting my nipples, squeezing my boobs.

My hand is around his throbbing cock in no time. I stoke him teasingly slow. Taking my time.. Until..

A low growl comes from his throat as he pulls me back up to my feet. Turns me around so that I'm facing the mirror, spreads my legs apart and.. He's inside of me.

The stretch is as painfully beautiful as I remember. It makes me let out a silent scream against my hand.

My hair is fisted in his hand. With each hard thrust it's yanked back. Though his other hand grasps at my chin and makes me look at myself in the mirror. The combination of both these things.. Feels amazing.. Like my hair is getting ripped out my scalp. Yet it isn't.

"Look at you. Getting fucked. Aren't you pretty Princess?" He asks me. I try to answer. But I can't hypnotized by the way he looks and sounds.

Groans, grunts, growls, moans and evem the tiniest of whimpers leave his lips when he pounds into me from behind. His eyes hooded. Though keeping eyecontact with me. His lips beautifuly parted. His sex face is something else.

It makes my pussy clench.. Literally. I clench hard around his dick to which he whines. "Shit. You're gonna make me come." He warns.

I nod. My hands behind my back and on his thighs. Nails digging into them when feeling his cock twitch in release. My walls are coated with his hot cum as he squeezes my throat and gives a few hard and very controlled thrusts. Shooting me over the edge. My insides pulsate and spasm as I have one of the best orgasms of my entire life.

In Kai's arms. Cause he's calmed down and has his arms wrapped around me gently now, I shake and slowly land back on planet earth.

Not even knowing what planet I was on a few seconds ago when having my mind shattering orgasm.

Before I can get comfortable cockwarming him he's pulled out of me and I grip the edge of the counter, afraid I may fall. "Shh baby, I'm right here." I smile lazily and nod. Two strong arms pick me up and put me down somewhere nice and warm. Somewhere I wanna be for the rest of my life.

Kai keeps holding me. I realize I'm laying on top of him and under the warm sheets.

I listen to the calm rhythm of his heart.. And fall asleep to it. Not before whispering an 'I love you.' To him and Kai being Kai.. Whispers an 'I love you... Even more." Right back...

#kai parker #chris wood #smut #kai parker x reader #kai parker x y/n #kai parker fanfiction #fanfiction #writing #fluff

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clarisse0o · 4 months ago

Text

Camp Wiegman - Part 8

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternate Universe : Military School

Words :

TW: Alcohol

Masterlist

——————————————————————

Saturday, October 24; 9:05 AM - Ona's Room

I try to get out of bed without waking anyone around me. Damn camp habits. Bronze had warned me that I'd get into a new rhythm. Now I'm like clockwork at ridiculous hours. I used to wake up around noon, not nine! Once I'm out of bed without a hitch, I grab some clothes from my closet and lock myself in the bathroom. With everything that happened last night, I didn't have the courage to take a shower before bed. So, I start my day by letting myself relax under the warm water jets. I take my time since the Mapi and Joan certainly won't be awake for a good hour. It's the calm before the storm. Joan promised me a surprise if I came back. That's probably still on since the others knew I was coming back. Hopefully, he hasn't invited the whole family. He loves everyone, unlike me. I get out of the shower after fifteen minutes. I don't risk turning on the hairdryer with the two sleepyheads, so I dry off with just a towel. I get dressed and brush my teeth. I finish with a touch of makeup before going downstairs. It's time to see the others. I'm glad not to run into my mom or Marcus on the way. However, I smile when I see Samuel and Sofia in the kitchen. My smile widens at the sight of their faces.

"Oh my God,Ona!" says Sam, hugging me. "Happy birthday!"

"Already awake!?" Sofia is surprised. "Happy birthday, sweetie."

"Thanks, that's kind of you," I reply, hugging her in turn. "I missed you guys."

"And we missed you! Everything's been so quiet since you left."

"No one to bother us," Sofia adds.

"I'm only here for two days, but I plan to make up for it," I tease them.

"No doubt," laughs Sam. "Do you want your breakfast now, or are you waiting for the girls?"

"Given when they'll wake up, I'll have it now."

He nods with a smile and gets to work. I find my spot at the bar. I no longer insist that I can cook for myself. He always brushes me off when I do. He keeps telling me it's his job. It's true, but it makes me feel like I'm being pampered. I hate that idea because it reminds me that I won't be able to do anything when I leave home. I won't complain either. His dishes are delicious. They have nothing to do with camp food. Besides, it's nice to do nothing, so might as well enjoy it.

"Since when do you get up so early? That's not like you," Sofia comments.

"I've been like clockwork for a week. Curfew at ten PM and wake-up at six. I guess I haven't lost the habit."

"Isn't it too hard?"Samuel replies

"No, it's fine. I prefer it this way. »

"Seen like that... Knowing you, you probably slept the whole way."

"Yeah," I chuckle. "Thanks," I say when he places my breakfast in front of me.

"You're welcome, miss," he teases with a wink.

He made me a cup of hot chocolate and a homemade croissant. Everyone would say there's not much difference from my camp breakfast, but for me, it's a big change. Sam knows how to perfectly dose my hot chocolate, and his homemade croissant is life. I savor it all, letting out a sigh of satisfaction.

"Did you miss it?" he chuckles.

"Totally, yeah!"

"I'm flattered," he says, making me smile.

"Have you received any birthday messages?" Sofia asks.

"I was about to check now."

"What? You haven't checked yet?" she exclaims. "My God, what have they done to our Ona?"

I chuckle lightly. I was asking myself the same thing, actually. I'm much less on my phone. I no longer have the reflex to check it upon waking up due to our fifteen-minute preparation time. I suspect the school did it on purpose to give us such a short deadline. I should have asked Bronze; she would have answered me. It's like the shower. We had to change our habit with Alexia and take it in the evening to be at ease. Anyway, I decide to take out my phone, which is swamped with social media notifications and messages. I start with the messages. Alexia, Leah , Alba... All my camp friends thought of me. They're so sweet! I also have other messages from old friends here, which really pleases me. I take the time to reply to everyone while chatting about trivial things with Sam and Sofia . I talk to them about my new life while they tell me about Joan's antics since I left. It seems he doesn't stop. He's decided to avenge my departure by being a perfect little rascal. He throws fits over nothing and barely listens to my mom or Marcus. Sofia or Sam often have to step in. I think he's decided to follow my example, which I don't really like. I'll need to have a little chat with him. Speaking of him, he just walked in and immediately comes over to me.

"Hi Oni ."

"Hello little rascal. Slept well?"

"Yes! Mapi is still sleeping."

"Let her sleep, she'll be down soon."

"Can I have my breakfast please ?" he asks Samuel.

"I'll bring it to the dining room in five minutes."

"Can't I have it here?" he pouts. "I want to stay with you!"

"Of course you can. Come, I'll put you in the chair next to me."

"I want to sit on your lap!"

"Alright, alright, as you wish," I laugh. "Come here."

I lift him under the arms and easily place him on my lap. I hold him with one hand and grab my cup with the other so Sam can put Joan's plate instead of mine, which is now empty. I smile as he starts telling me about the weeks I missed while eating. Of course, I don't hear any of his mischief from his mouth. I prefer not to spoil the moment and deal with that problem later. Mapi finally shows up around 10:30. I expected to see her later.

"When did you get up?"

"Nine o'clock."

"Good God, they must have brainwashed you," she grumbles, sitting next to me.

"Don't you start too," I laugh.

"Are you staying for breakfast, Mapi ?" Sam asks.

"What kind of question is that!"

I giggle, finding the question as silly as Mapi does. She's like the third daughter of the family, after all. I wait for her to finish her breakfast while chatting. Joan abandoned us halfway to go upstairs. I don't comment on it, but I feel like something's up.

"Maps?"

"Hmm?" she replies with her mouth full.

"What does Jo have planned?"

"Nothing, why?"

"We both know you can't lie."

"Stop being impatient, you'll see."

"Mapi..." I say, making puppy dog eyes.

"No, no need for that face! I'm not telling you anything!"

I sigh, pouting, making her smile. She used to be easier to convince, in my memories.

"By the way," she says.

"Yeah?"

"We're going out tonight."

"You're not serious?"

"I am, and it's non-negotiable. You haven't been to a party since-"

"A year and a half," I finish her sentence.

"I was going to say a century, but it's almost the same. Come on, please! It can only do you good!" she says, giving me puppy dog eyes.

"Stop imitating me," I say, her expression worsening. "Oh, you're annoying! Fine, you win," I grumble.

She lets out a cry of joy and does a dance in the middle of the kitchen. It stops quickly when my mom enters the room. It's the first time we've seen each other since my troubled departure, which didn't end particularly well.

"Oh, hi Abby," she blushes.

"Hi Mapi, it's been a while," she says before turning to me. "Happy birthday, Ona," she says hesitantly.

"Thanks."

I won't ruin my birthday by venting my hateful thoughts. My voice betrays me slightly. It's not like we have a good relationship to begin with. Everything just got worse when she decided to send me across the country.

"How's school?" she asks.

"Oh, great, Mom," I say sarcastically. "If you wanted me to be monitored all the time, you nailed it!"

She sighs at my anger that I couldn't hold back any longer. What a question to ask! She finally gives up on the conversation and turns to Mapi.

"And you, Mapi ? How's your leg?"

"Good, I'd say. I still don't have any pain for now."

"That's at least some good news... See you later, girls," she finishes, leaving the room.

My mom has been Mapi's doctor since we met. She had an accident with her parents when she was little. She came out with a slightly disabled leg. They developed a special bond. My mom is certainly closer to Mapi than to me. It's ironic, given that Mapi doesn't have this bond with her parents. She left their house at the first opportunity. I'm glad she found this bond with my mom, but I'm also jealous. She got the maternal instinct from my mom that I didn't get. As long as it doesn't stop Mapi from listening to me when I complain about my mom, I don't care about their relationship.

"Shall we get ready?"

"I'm already ready, Mapi."

"Are you kidding? Your hair is a mess. And don't tell me you're going to spend the day in jeans and a shirt?" she criticizes, looking me over.

"Hey! My outfit is perfect!"

"There's no way you're staying like that on your birthday! Come on, get up!"

"Oh, please Maps, shut up. You sound like my camp supervisor."

She forces me off my chair, laughing. I let her drag me to my room. I don't know why, but I feel like I'm not going to enjoy what's next.

Saturday, October 24; 11:35 AM - Ona's Room

Mapi has been hogging my bathroom for a while now, even though the shower hasn't been running for some time. Knowing her, I probably have a bit more time before she comes out. She made me put on a dress. Me, in a dress! It's been ages since I last wore one. But that's the least of my worries right now. I was lying on the bed, enjoying the quiet, when I had the brilliant idea to charge my headphones for the return flight. So, I took them out, but I also came across another gift that I had completely forgotten about. Bronze's gift... I wondered why I listened to her and didn’t open it right away. I could have easily done it in the taxi without her knowing.

"What's that?" Mapi snaps me out of my bubble.

"A gift."

"Thanks, I figured that out," she replies sarcastically. "From whom?"

"My supervisor," I sigh.

"Sexy commander?"

"Stop calling her that," I scold, giving her a dark look.

"Oh my! What are you waiting for to open it?"

"I don't know."

"Want me to do it for you?"

"No!" I reply much too quickly.

"Well, do it then."

I feel ridiculous for not doing it, but I'm disturbed. I don't know what to expect; she doesn't know me. I sigh and start to carefully unwrap the paper under Mapi's watchful eye. Besides, she already contributed to the headphones. It's silly for her to give me a second gift. Mapi mocks my slowness, but I don't let it bother me. I frown as I finally see the contents. For now, I'm only paying attention to the small card placed on top of the box. I turn it over to find a note. I smile, recognizing her handwriting that I've seen several times during my tidying in her office.

"After so much effort... A well-deserved reward! Hoping you'll continue down this path. Happy birthday, Ona. - L. B."

My smile doesn't leave my face. L. B.? So her first name starts with an "L"? The "B" surely stands for her last name. I place the card next to me on the bed and remove the lid of the box to discover the rest. I'm left speechless.

"Wow. Sexy Commander really went all out! This stuff isn't cheap, is it?"

"No... She’s insane!"

I can’t believe my eyes. It’s my favorite brand for drawing supplies. One of the most expensive for its quality. Even Mapi recognizes it, having come with me to buy it before. It's a set with different pencils, pens, and brushes of all sizes. She also included a sketchbook underneath. There’s everything needed to create artworks. It's a real treat for an amateur artist like me.

"She must really like you to give you all this."

"That's not really the case," I laugh. "We were at war for three weeks. I even went so far as to trash her room. Didn't I tell you?"

"Yes, you did," she laughs. "But she wouldn’t have given you such a gift if she didn’t like you at least a little! Seriously, this stuff costs a fortune!"

I can't argue with her. She must have spent quite a bit. Not to mention her contribution to the headphones. They’re worth at least two hundred euros, and I doubt the others managed to pitch in that much between the six of them. We’re interrupted by my brother entering my room without knocking.

"Ona? When are you coming down?"

"We’re coming right away," Mapi answers for me. "Just let your sister put away her new toys."

"Ha ha ha!"

I remove the wrapping to throw it away before packing my new supplies into my backpack. I plan to take this one to camp. I have everything I need here, unlike there. I unplug my now charged headphones and put them in the bag.

"We can go."

Nothing could make my brother happier. He pulls me as hard as he can out of my room. Mapi follows behind us after closing my door.

"Hurry up!"

"Calm down, Joan. There's no rush!"

"She’s using my old expressions!"

I look up as my foot touches the ground floor. The shock stops me in my tracks. I’d recognize that voice anywhere. My eyes well up when I see him in person before me. I never expected to see him here again.

"You're ruining your makeup," Mapi whispers to me.

I ignore the comment meant to make me laugh. I don't want to spoil this important moment. I go to my grandfather, who takes me in his arms. It’s been two years since I last saw him. All my emotions pour out once again.

"Grandpa!"

"You haven't changed a bit," he says, making me smile.

I can't believe he made the trip from Portugal just to see me. It’s insane! I’ve always been very close to him because he bears a striking resemblance to my father, both physically and mentally. We share a very special bond, just like I did with my father.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Did you think we’d miss our granddaughter’s birthday?"

I turn towards the other voice to see my maternal grandmother. I smile warmly at her. It’s not that I love her any less, far from it. She’s just as adorable as my grandfather. But she lives in Barcelona, so I see her much more often than him. I still greet her with a hug, happy to see her here.

"How about we celebrate Ona’s birthday and chat over a drink in the living room?"

We all agree to Marcus' suggestion. I hadn't even noticed him enter the hall. Joan impatiently drags me to the next room. In the end, I might really enjoy this birthday. I'm still on bad terms with my mom and Marcus, but I put my resentment aside for this moment. The atmosphere was tense at first, but Mapi is here to lighten things up. She’s great at diffusing awkward situations. Joan also helps by talking non-stop. That’s how the conversation topics emerged. We talked about daily life and then reminisced about past years. The festivities were kicked off by my grandfather sharing stories from when I lived in Portugal or visited on vacations. Mapi had a good laugh at some of the stories. I'm the first to laugh as I remember them. We’re interrupted by Sam announcing that the meal is ready. We move to the dining room where a perfectly set table awaits. The only times I’ve eaten here are for celebrations like today. I can count them on my fingers. I smile when I see the dish. Sam prepared paella, one of my favorite dishes. He knows my tastes well from cooking for me. The good mood continues through dinner. It’s the first time there’s been so much cheer in this room. Usually, it witnesses crises or arguments. That’s one reason I rarely set foot in here. It’s where I learned about my departure to Manchester , for example. I'm delighted that today’s event changes things for this place. I’m happy to be surrounded by my loved ones today.

Saturday, October 24th; 9:30 PM - Barcelona Street.

I sigh for the umpteenth time since we left the house. I try my best to keep up with Mapi, who is ahead of me.

“Slow down!” I shout. “It’s bad enough that you made me come out, but you’re also making me wear heels. The least you could do is wait for me! These things are a death trap!”

“Didn’t they teach you to complain less in that damn school of yours?” Mapi teases.

“Ha ha ha! Very funny. You know it’s my specialty, and it will never be taken away from me!”

Focusing too much on my feet, I bump into Mapi’s back as she suddenly stops without warning. I look up and realize we’ve arrived. It’s not hard to figure out with the loud music blasting from the house across the street.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. This is our Party?”

“Yep!”

“A college party, really? At our old high school friends’ house, no less?” I grumble.

“I figured going to a familiar place would be best… Oh, come on, don’t make that face! I told them about your big return, and they were all thrilled to know you’d be coming tonight.”

“Damn it, Maps…”

“Relax a bit. You need this night out, and we both know it.”

She stops me from protesting by pulling my arm. I attempt to walk as normally as possible in my heels. I hate wearing these things. Mapi knows I never walk very straight in them. I’m usually all about flat shoes. As soon as we step inside, the music pounds in my ears. I wonder how I ended up here. I doubt it’s a good idea. It’s been so long since I’ve been to a party. I already regret giving in to my best friend’s puppy-dog eyes. I regret it even more as we approach the host and my old high school friends, whom I abandoned years ago.

“Hey, look who it is!”

I timidly step forward from behind Mapi, who is still holding me firmly. She must know that if she let go, I’d already be running away. Especially since Nathan Miller, the host, makes me uncomfortable with his comment.

“Hi everyone! As promised, I brought our favorite girl.”

“Hey…” I say timidly. “Good to see you all…”

“You too, sweetheart. I hope you haven’t forgotten us after all this time!”

Why was I so worried? They have every reason to hate me, but they don’t. Maybe because they’re all guys. Let’s face it, they’re less complicated in friendships. I smile at Kyle’s comment and feel the pressure lift from my shoulders. I didn’t expect to see him here. I eagerly await Mapi’s explanation for this. They all surprise me by wishing me a happy birthday. Mapi must have reminded them before we came. It still makes me happy.

“Ana didn’t come with you tonight?” Bryan asks.

“No. She was supposed to, but she ended up at another party. She wanted me to go with her, but I chose to spend the weekend with Ona. By the way,” she says. “She wants to meet you when you come back,” she tells me.

“No problem, I’m looking forward to it.”

“She’s a real nutcase, don’t be too eager to meet her,” Connor whispers to me.

“Hey, I heard that!” Mapi retorts. “Don’t call my girlfriend crazy, or you’ll see!”

“Well, you have to be a bit crazy to date you, don’t you think?”

“Are you implying you’re crazy, by any chance?”

“Oh, but I’ve always claimed that, haven’t I?” I join in.

“All right, 1-0, Batlle,” she says, making me smile. “We’re going for a walk, we’ll catch up with you later.”

“No worries, see you later, girls,” Nathan replies.

I just lifted a weight off my shoulders seeing them. We hadn’t seen each other since the end of high school, yet nothing has changed. They were my last group of friends before my downfall and ghosting them. I thought no one would want to talk to me anymore, but they don’t seem to hold it against me.

“What’s Kyle Wick doing here? Have I missed that much?”

“Oh yes,” she laughs. “Let’s get a drink before we go outside to talk. Does that sound good?”

I nod, and we head to the table serving as a drink buffet. Numerous red and blue cups are arranged there. We grab two clean red cups, and I let Mapi serve us. That was always her role when we went to parties. She probably knows my tastes in alcohol better than I do. She hands me my cup and surprises me by also handing me a bottle of coke. I smile, seeing that she’s holding a bottle of orange juice and vodka under her arm. Well, she’s right. Might as well enjoy it if I’m already here. We head outside, where there are fewer people. Luckily, two lounge chairs by the pool are free. We sit next to each other. I finally take a big gulp of my drink, closing my eyes as it burns my throat. Mapi laughs at me. There’s a reason to laugh. I haven’t had a drop in a long time, and it feels great!

“So, what do I need to know?”

“Hmm, well… let’s see…” she pretends to think. “First, Miller and Bryan are dating.”

I spit out the liquid I was supposed to swallow. My head quickly turns to Mapi. She answers before I can open my mouth.

“Yeah, I was as shocked as you are,” she giggles. “They confessed their love for each other a year ago now. We were all stunned. I chose not to tell you at the time… You were in the middle of… well, you know.”

“Yes, I understand… Oh my god,” I laugh in shock. “I didn’t see that coming and, I didn’t expect to see him here.”

“He’s become friends with my friends,” she shrugs. “I can’t blame him. »

“And Connor?”

“Not much on that front. He brought a girl recently, but it didn’t lead to anything.”

“I didn’t think you’d still be hanging out with them,” I admitted.

“Except for you, we all stayed around for college,” she shrugs. “We just kept in touch, I thought it was good.”

“It’s true,” I say, lowering my head.

“You don’t have to feel guilty, Ona. We don’t blame you. We know it was hard for you.”

I hide my sadness behind a smile. She shifts to a few juicy stories from parties or other events during my absence. I regret not being able to join in. The stories were pretty funny. An hour and a half later, after finishing three-quarters of the bottle between us, we decide to join the others around the patio table. I’m tipsy enough to agree to play silly games I would have hated if I were sober. My state doesn’t improve after several shots during “Never Have I Ever.” Mapi took the opportunity to drag me to the dance floor right after. She knows it’s the only time she can get me there, thanks to the confidence alcohol gives me. We have fun dancing closely. After a while, I notice the boys have joined us. They must not be in a better state than me to have come. Fortunately, Miller offered for us to stay the night if we wanted. I wouldn’t have had the courage to walk home in this state. I tell myself it’s my birthday, so I have the right to enjoy it! Midnight must have already passed, but it doesn’t matter. I lost track of time since my phone died. It’s been ages since I had this much fun. Laughter keeps ringing in my ears. A body presses against my back during a dance, but I don’t pay much attention. I even have fun dancing closer to her. From her build, I’d say it’s a girl. Everything was going great until I feel her hands on my hips and her voice chills me to the bone.

“I missed you…”

I snap back to reality in less than a second. I stop dancing and quickly pull away from him. I need to see to believe it. Unfortunately, it’s real.

“Feli…” I whisper.

“Ona-”

“Don’t come near me!” I scream.

“No, wait-”

She tries to grab my arm, but I flee outside. I thought she’d understand I don’t want to talk to her, but her voice calling me from behind as I head to the back of the garden tells me otherwise.

“Leave me alone!”

“Please, listen to me!” she yells back.

I sigh, realizing I’ve trapped myself against the hedges. I turn around, pointing a finger at her.

“Stop! Don’t come any closer!”

To my surprise, she stops a meter away. Just seeing her in front of me makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I never thought I’d see her here.

“Please,Ona-”

“Shut up! I’m the one talking here,” I shout. “What are you doing here?”

“A friend of your friend.”

“I don’t want to see you anymore, Feli. If I wasn’t clear when I left, I am now!”

“Ona, please, let me speak.”

I look at her for a long time, trying to judge her. I try to discern the truth in her. One thing is for sure, her sad face doesn’t help at all.

“Two minutes,” I relent.

“I’m really sorry for everything I did,” she begins, knowing I’m serious. “I wasn’t myself. You know drugs make us do things we wouldn’t want to... I know I crossed the line more than once with you, and I regret it. I never wanted to hurt you, quite the opposite... I love you, Ona. I always have, and I know I messed up. I really lost it, and that’s why I asked for help... I’m seeing a therapist,” she admits, lowering her head. “He’s helping me get better, and so far, it seems to be working. I’m not asking for your forgiveness... I know it would be too hard for you, but I’d like you to give me another chance when you feel ready... I-... I’d like to be part of your life again...”

“Let me stop you right there. Get the idea out of your head that we can be together again because that will never happen! Is that clear?!”

“OK, OK,” she replies quickly. “M-maybe not a relationship as I’d like... B-but maybe a friendship, or-or...”

I laugh bitterly. Damn, why did I have to run into her. I run my hand over my forehead and push my hair back.

“No.”

She looks at me with wide eyes. She doesn’t need to act surprised. She ruined my life.

“In your pathetic speech, you’re right about one thing, Feli. I can never forgive you for all your damn actions,” I say, enunciating each word. “I trusted you! You told me you’d give me a better life, but in reality, you’re just an asshole! You have no idea how many scars you left on me! I wonder why I’m even talking to you, damn it.”

I step closer to her, pointing my finger at her chest.

“I forbid you from approaching me again, or it will go very badly for you.”

I keep my composure as best I can. The alcohol helps me hide my anxiety in front of her. I give her one last look before leaving her without regret. I’m not going to ruin my evening because of her. Mapi doesn’t even notice my absence since she asks me to join her at the drink stand as if nothing happened. She keeps dancing and singing while pulling me along. Instead of pouring myself a drink, I grab a bottle of tequila and head to the kitchen. Mapi looks more than happy with my initiative and shouts for the guys to join us. I plan to finish my night as it started. I’ll have plenty of time to regret it tomorrow when I return to harsh reality.

#woso #lucy bronze #woso community #barca femeni #ona batlle #woso soccer #lionesses #sefutbol fem #mapi león #ona batlle x lucy bronze #ona x lucy

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creedslove · 1 year ago

Text

RE-ENCOUNTER 🎨

Marcus Pike x f!reader

"I'd rather get divorced while still loving you, than remaining together and risking to hate you"

Summary: you and Marcus had a brief but loving marriage, until it wasn't anymore. Choosing an amicable divorce you both moved on with your lives until destiny made you run into each other once more, with a difference this time: your ex-husband was engaged now

Warnings: mentions of divorce, a little bit of angst, fluff, some jealousy, age gap (their ages are not specified but he's 10 years older than her)

A/N: besties, I'm so happy I finally managed to write something for our husband Pike. I've always wanted to do so, but I knew I couldn't just force myself into it otherwise it wouldn't work properly, and just like that, this idea came up and I couldn't get it out of my mind ❤️ also, I know some people don't like age gap, but I can't imagine reader being Marcus age mostly because reader is me 🥴 and also because it would make sense to the story, so although it's not specified, I pictured them getting married around early 20s(reader) early 30s (Pike) and running into each other again around late 20s/early 30s (reader) and late 30s/early 40s (Pike)

3.9k words

You weren't fond of getting married young, to you, it sounded nothing like madness, as you simply couldn't wrap your head around the fact that people often abdicated from their lives, plans and dreams to get stuck in a relationship. It made no sense to you, especially since you had been working your ass off during all your years in college, the prospect of having a successful and promising career motivated you to go after your dreams. Relationships, marriages, building up families hadn't crossed your mind at all, a little affair with a cute guy here and there were the only things that ever got remotely close to dating, at the same time you only saw yourself as someone who wouldn't settle down.

And that was before Marcus Pike walked into your life.

If someone asked you to explain what exactly happened, perhaps you wouldn't be able to understand it yourself let alone explain it to someone, but that man swept you off your feet. You'd met him during a history of art lecture at campus one Thursday evening. He had just joined the FBI in the art department, fresh in his new job but still assisting his former professor and mentor in college lectures. He was probably ten or so years older than you, and yet, you couldn't keep your eyes off him. He was by far the most handsome man you'd seen in those four long years you'd spent in that institution, there was something so captivating in his beautiful eyes, his breathtaking smile and how smart and sweet he was towards anyone. And he caught you staring; it seemed you took his attention as much as he took yours, and even if you needed that lecture for extra credit, you couldn't give a single crap about medieval art, because that man was everything you could see in front of you. That was so unlike your personality, usually, you'd be focused on everything else, but you simply couldn't look away from that handsome assistant.

When the lecture was finally over, you were sure you'd missed at least half of it, being too busy concentrating on someone else instead of the subject, you still had a few doubts about the matter and you walked to the stage, willing to ask the professor some questions and clarify any doubts you had, and that was the moment you both locked eyes for the first time. The handsome guy that caught your attention, whose name was Marcus, soon found out the moment you shook hands and realized how big his was compared to yours and how truly handsome he was, even more so than you had already noticed when you were a few meters away. He was also mesmerized by you and he couldn't hide it, he knew you were younger than him, but at that moment all he could process was how gorgeous and smart that girl was in front of him. He kept around while you talked to his mentor, being polite enough not to interrupt him but holding himself back so he wouldn't add his own comments. He just wanted an excuse to talk to you, see if he could approach and see where things could go, so the moment he had the opportunity to be with you alone for a while, he immediately threw his charms - and Marcus was a charming guy - in your first conversation you liked how intelligent and nice he was, he made you laugh and when he invited you to have pancakes some dinner nearby the campus, you couldn't say no.

And that was the beginning of your love story.

Everything you believed went through the roof from the moment you met Marcus. He was incredible, the most fascinating man you'd met and whereas he was older than you, that only seemed to spice things up both in the sexual and emotional sense. You had never been treated like that before, he made you feel like a queen, as cheesy as it may sound, that's just how you felt through your relationship with Marcus. He was a gentleman, sweet and he didn't know what to do in order to please you; he went slowly at first, even if his intentions were clear from the very first time you went out to eat, he was a little afraid you would be weirded out by him, and he couldn't be further from the truth. Each time he took you out on a date, it felt like you were living the plot of any sweet but cliche rom com movie. It felt just too good to be true and a part of you feared that it wouldn't work. But it did, for as long as it lasted.

The dates with Marcus were so special, he was thoughtful and he always made sure to take you somewhere nice; it was either a nice restaurant so you could get to know their different menu, or art galleries in which he would show you his favorite works and tell you as much as you wanted to hear about them. He was always afraid of boring you with his subjects but on the contrary, you always enjoyed listening to him talk, it was entertaining, soothing and you could spend hours watching how his eyes sparkled whenever he addressed anything he truly enjoyed. And even if he put some effort into them, your favorite date by far was whenever you two would spend some time just hanging out together in his apartment. Dim lights, old movies on TV and Marcus' protective grip around your body, always pulling you closer and making sure you were warm in his embrace for the rest of the night.

The first kiss you shared with him after you both went to the movies together. It was a classic movie rerun and even if Casablanca wasn't your favorite, you knew he enjoyed it, and seeing it on a big screen was definitely a nice experience. Besides, he promised you that once Titanic hit the theaters in the next classic session, he would definitely take you.

At the end of the movie, you walked out the theater holding hands, you were silent, but instead of reflecting over the story you'd just watched you reflected over your relationship with Marcus; you were falling deeper and deeper for him, deeper and more intensely than you ever thought you would, and when he stopped and placed your hands on your hips you couldn't resist being kissed by him.

It felt right.

The first night you both spent together was right after he took you to see the concert of his former band; he'd left the band when he graduated from college, but he still remained friends with the guys and eventually enjoyed visiting them on stage. And that night he insisted on taking his bass for a last ride and even risked a song on the microphone, all of that for you.

By then, there was no fighting or convincing otherwise, you were head over heels for Marcus; especially when you two had sex for the first time after that. One could think Marcus is too soft, but not when it comes to that; he knows how to act, how to please and how to demand what he wants and after you tried him, a real man, there was no way you could go back to college boys ever again.

Your relationship evolved fast and in less than a year he proposed to you; he was sure you were what he wanted in the future, just as you had thrown away all your beliefs and you'd surrounded yourself completely to the man you loved, so you said yes. Even if your whole life you said you wouldn't get married, not while young at least, not without having a consistent, successful career.

And there you were, fresh out of college, with very little work experience, a job in an area you didn't want but had to take in order to gather experience and knowledge and walking down the aisle in a white dress, feeling as happy as you could be, in order to become Mrs.Pike. The honeymoon had to be in Paris, a few people told you that couldn't be more cliche, and even if they meant it out of spite or if they were actually right, it didn't really matter to you; it felt so right for the two of you. Surrounded by art constantly during the day and making love at night, it was like a dream coming true, and you remember hoping your entire marriage would be like that: light, fun, full of love and happiness. And it was until it wasn't anymore.

You couldn't tell exactly when things started to go downhill, but if you had to guess, it would probably be due to the lack of time you both faced towards the end of your relationship. It just started getting harder after about a year, when the two of you really began struggling for your own careers. You, in your area, and Marcus with the FBI, it seemed to have become an obsession for you both, as date nights, walks in the park and gallery visitations simply stopped happening in order to focus on your extra tasks, overtime, solving cases. At some point it became a looping of excuses and promises to spend more time together:

"We'll go next weekend honey"

"We can have dinner together tomorrow"

"I promise I'll take you with me next time"

Needless to say, they never truly happened.

Just as you two distanced yourselves without even realizing, the bickering also started, adding another venomous sting to your relationship. Suddenly, small things turned into bigger ones, sources of stress and fights; if someone ever told you one day you'd have heated arguments with Marcus over a dropped sock, or an unwashed plate on the sink, you would call them crazy, but when that unfortunately happened to the two of you, you were shocked for a while, not believing you had become the kind of couple to argue over stupid things like those. It was heartbreaking. As you two barely had time for each other, sex was also off the table most nights, being too tired to do anything else other than sleep, Marcus suddenly came up with the idea of having a baby; he had a deep hope of fixing your marriage by getting you pregnant, after all, having kids had always been part of his plan and he was sure it was part of yours too.

At the same time you hadn't really thought it through. Technically, you had. You wanted kids. At some point, in the future, it wasn't rocket science to figure that adding a baby to a troubled marriage could not be the best idea. And yet, you couldn't bring yourself to tell him that, not when you saw the spike of excitement in his eyes, not when he held you and kissed you like in the beginning of your relationship, how he made time for you even if his FBI work was killing him, he still managed to bring you flowers, kiss you and made love to you. Perhaps he was trying to save your marriage, or he was just trying for the baby, you weren't so sure, but you could see the effort. And it was why it broke your heart to know you couldn't get pregnant at that moment, not with your job finally taking you places, the new opportunity of actually building a career and how young you still thought you were, being married was hard, but it was about you and Marcus, two adults who could handle yourselves but a baby? It was way too much responsibility. You couldn't find a way to tell him that, even if you were being a coward, it pained you you felt so hopeless to simply lie to Marcus and tell him you'd stopped taking your birth control pills, and even more so each time he looked at you with those disappointed, sad eyes, month after month of excitement and longing for that baby to be there, just to get a negative test after another. It was eating you up alive and after his insistence on taking you to a doctor - which you immediately refused - he managed to find your hidden stash of pills among your stuff. You tried explaining everything to him; how you weren't ready, you were scared and how broken you'd been at seeing him so upset. You cried, you opened your heart to Marcus and told him you wanted to be a mom to his child, some day, not at that moment, but in the future because things were finally working for the two of you once more. But you had lied to your husband, and lying to Marcus had no turning back.

He had no other option other than asking for a divorce after you lied and broke his heart, he felt upset, he could've forgiven you for many things, but not for playing with his heart when it came to the kids he dreamed of every single day.

You were tired, upset and at some point during your divorce process you'd convinced yourself you didn't love him anymore, but the reality was that you were just so empty you weren't able to feel things, you were numb.

The day you both signed the divorce papers in front of your lawyer and you were questioned whether you two wanted to go ahead with that decision, your heart shattered into a million pieces, more than any fights, when you heard Marcus' justification to why he was asking for the divorce.

"I'd rather get divorced while still loving you, than remaining together and risking to hate you"

When you heard those words, you had a sudden urge to get up and tear those papers into pieces, tell him you were both making a huge mistake, that toyover him and that you could make it work, you wanted to tell him you still had a beautiful future ahead of you, you and the gorgeous family you would have together. And the moment you took a deep breath to finally say all that out loud, you looked at Marcus signing the papers and officializing the divorce.

That was the last time you saw your ex-husband Marcus Pike, you just had no idea the next time you would run into him again would be in a few years later, while he was taking his new fiancee on a date.

•••

Marcus sighed as he could see the lack of excitement in Teresa's face the moment they got to the exhibit, he just didn't know why she agreed to go out with him if she didn't like it, it would be so much easier for the two of them if she was honest and told him she'd rather stay home and read a magazine, that way they would both be happy, and Marcus wouldn't have the feeling he was trying too hard all the time. Teresa liked him, she must have liked him, otherwise she wouldn't have accepted his proposal and moved to DC with him. It was still early, she'd been there for a few weeks but he was confident things would work. He was hitting his forties now, one divorce, no kids and even if he finally got the position he had not only dreamed of but also worked so hard for in his dream job, he still felt something was missing. It took him a failed marriage to realize that money wasn't everything he needed, he simply missed the family he never had.

When he found Teresa he was still trying to pick the pieces of his heart, still trying to make things work on his own and when he saw her - an attractive, mature and intelligent woman, he thought that maybe he wouldn't be alone this time. You'd been the love of his life, he was convinced of that, but you two had gone way too fast and too intense, you were still young, you had so much to live so it made sense to him he would let you go and be free. He vowed himself not to rush into things, but this time it wasn't his choice, he was liking Teresa more and more and even if they weren't compatible most of the time, but when the opportunity of a lifetime came up he had to take his chances and she'd said yes. Still a little unsure and divided between him and Jane, but she said yes.

As they walked through the exhibit, he paid close attention to all the beautiful paintings scattered around the long hallways. He loved that atmosphere, the pictures so beautifully made by talented hands years or sometimes centuries ago.

"So it's just flowers?!" Teresa broke the silence as she looked around unimpressed and dragged his attention back to reality

"It's not just flowers, it's Monet… don't you like it? You told me you liked his paintings on our first date.." Marcus stated confused until the realization that she was just lying so she wouldn't appear ignorant or perhaps try to impress him a little. He saw how she cleared her throat and tried fixing what she just said but he stopped listening the moment he caught a glimpse of someone else crossing the same room and standing next to Rouen Cathedral, admiring it intently. He didn't even need to look twice to know it was you. You, who always loved that painting, even if it wasn't Monet's best in your ex-husband's opinion, you who had a fascination with old constructions such as cathedrals and would always snap several pictures of them, you, who was never exceptional at art but managed to get by and eventually fell more and more in love with art because of Marcus, not because you wanted to impress him or have him thinking you were smart, but because he actually made you see why he had that passion for it. And the moment that you turned around, his heart skipped a beat.

You looked the same, and yet, you also managed to look even more beautiful; more mature, more confident in yourself and for a brief moment Marcus was frozen in time, it was just like the first time he saw you, in which he could only see you in front of him and nothing else. He had no idea you still had that effect on him, it was so unusual and surprising and even if he had stalked your social media profiles here and there over the course of your separation, even if he wasn't proud of it, it was completely different than seeing you right there in front of him. He wasn't sure what to do, should he approach you? Talk to you? Pretend he didn't see you?

However, he didn't time to think any further about it, not when you turned around and spotted him, your eyes widening at the moment you saw him. Much to your surprise your heart also raced at the sight of your ex-husband. Was it your mind playing tricks or was he even more handsome? You hadn't planned on approaching him, but you felt as if you were being taken involuntarily towards him.

"Marcus?! Hi!" You said with a sweet smile as he politely greeted you, expressing how surprised he was to see you and even more so to actually talk to you

"Wow, you look great… So beautiful" he smiled as you blushed softly and giggled

"You too, still very handsome… so what brings you to D-" you interrupted by a woman who walked in and wrapped her arm around his waist. She eyed you up and down, even if she still tried to be polite and discreet about it. You swallowed hard feeling awkward and Marcus turned to the other woman

"This is Teresa, my fiancee and this is my ex-wife" he cleared his throat as he said your name and Teresa simply nodded her head. You returned the gesture and the moment you meant to ask him a question she barged in

"You're his ex-wife? But you're so young…" you could see the light pink spreading through his cheek and groaned at how dumb she really was.

"Yeah, I'm younger than him… and are you a little older than Marcus?" You returned the sting with the same amount of poison and she scoffed, looking at him and groaned

"I'll go to the restroom" she said without looking into your eyes and walked away, making you chuckle as Marcus shot you a questioning look which you just shrugged and went back to the question that was lingering on your mind

"So, what are you doing here in DC? Having a romantic getaway or vacations?"

"Actually, I've moved here after I was promoted to the head of the new art department" he said with his typical smile and you could see how his eyes crinkled, your heart warming up as you expressed genuine surprise and happiness to know that. You were a witness to how hard he had worked for that and it just filled your heart with pride to know he made it. You weren't sure how to act, perhaps it wasn't right, but you had already wrapped your arms around his neck and given him probably the tightest hug you'd ever done. Even if it was brief, you couldn't help but feel how built up he was, how stronger he'd become and his characteristic scent made you so warm on the inside, it felt like you could've stayed forever in his embrace.

"I'm so happy for you, Marcus! Honestly, you deserve it! I know I haven't been the most supportive wife and I'm very sorry about everything that happened, I should've been nicer to you, but well, all I'm trying to say is that I'm so proud of you!"

You said wholeheartedly and even if there were so many other things you needed to tell him, you knew it wasn't the right time and place. He just smiled and nodded, taking your hands into his big ones and thanking you for the support.

"Do you think we could grab a coffee or something? Just catch up?"

"I'd love to, but I don't know if it's a good idea, I mean, I can tell Teresa isn't my biggest fan and being honest with you, I wouldn't like my fiance's ex-wife around very much, but it's amazing to see you Marcus, truly, it makes me glad to know you are somewhat closer" you smiled again but let go of his hands the moment Teresa returned. Once more she just lingered around him, almost territorial as if she wanted to show you who owned Marcus. He also felt that, and it made him quite uncomfortable, so he cleared his throat and looked at you, saying goodbye and explaining they had dinner reservations.

As you watched them both leave, you felt a pang in your chest, thinking of the wonderful place he was probably taking her, the elaborate dates he had planned, the beautiful family they would probably build together. It could've been you, it was you for a while, unlike he might have thought you wanted all that with him, but it took you a divorce to realize it was a situation of the right person, wrong time. Perhaps if you tried again, it would work, you would like it to work, but Marcus had moved on, found himself someone he cared about and you had no right to break his heart and ruin his happiness once more.

____

A/N: my besties, I really hope you enjoyed it! I don't know if this is just a one-shot or if there'll be a continuation but I am so happy how this turned out. I love Marcus and I'm so happy our handsome FBI boyfriend finally got his own piece here! ❤️ remember that feedback is life, I'd love to hear what you all thought of it ❤️

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal one shot #pedro pascal imagine #marcus pike #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x you #marcus pike x y/n #marcus pike fanfiction #marcus pike fanfic #marcus pike imagine #marcus pike one shot

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starlightsuffered · 5 months ago

Text

Miss October

Info - model reader, reader with big boobs and big ass, down to earth reader, saving a dog, instantly whipped Timothée, Timmy's POV, daddy kink, possessiveness, hair pulling, man tasting his own cum, spit kink, dom male, confident reader turned subby, switching positions, ass slap, pussy slap, nipple twist, yelling at someone until they cry

I knew her of course. Miss October, famous for the biggest bust and ass size in over ten years. I felt like a pervert for knowing her off that basis. I had looked into her though, admittedly after getting hard to her when I laid eyes on her.

She loved music, and animals. She donated many of her proceeds to animal hospitals and such. She was very well spoken and talked at length about how attractiveness and intelligence didn't have to be so separated. I'd found myself being fond of her immediately.

She was talking to one of the waiters. I was working up the courage to speak to her. She looked so kind and down to earth.

Her dress looked like a disco ball, gleaming every way she turned. Somehow she gave very old Hollywood vibes even though I couldn't pinpoint why.

I was lost in thought about how she'd dated Tommy Lee and how now she was rumored to be dating Austin Butler. That's when I looked up and realized l'd lost her. I looked all around and then I saw her. Austin was in fact leading her out of the party.

I felt my heart sink. I dumped my alcohol down the first sink I found and left the party. I cursed myself for not making a move.

A week later I was on a walk in the light drizzle of New York. I was pretty well protected with a hoodie, sweats, and sunglasses. I had my AirPods in, and was listening to some Bob Dylan in preparation for my project.

That's when I saw her. She was in the street, pulling at the collar of a dog. Of course she'd be trying to save a dog, she was as sweet as they came. I raced after her when I saw a taxi roaring down the street. I yanked her and the dog back just in time.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I screamed.

"What?" She asked worriedly.

"You could've been killed!" I snarled. I didn't realize until I shook the hair out of my face that she was crying.

"Oh! Oh I'm sorry sweetie," I said worriedly.

"Why would you scream at me?"

I searched my heart. Why had I done what l'd done? I felt oddly worried and possessive of this girl I didn't even know. I sighed and looked away.

"I was just worried," I said slowly.

"You can make it up to me by helping me see if this guy has an owner," she said, patting the mutt. I smiled at the dog and ruffled its ears.

"I'd love to," I smiled. "And I uh, also like the confidence," I added sheepishly.

"Well aren't you a doll," she winked. It went straight to my cock. I shoved my hands in my pockets to rearrange my pants.

We walked the dog to the vet and her and I found out it had no owner. She was quick to say she'd adopt it and name it October. "After a recent success" she said, as if I didn't know exactly what she meant.

This was how y/n and I became close friends. There was always that yearning though. That feelings if felt since I'd first ever saw her. I never knew if she felt anywhere near the same. It was more than just sexual now. I wanted her in every way a man could want someone.

"Hey there, how's October?" I asked over the phone.

"Well he's a bit sad that his mommy is leaving," she chuckled.

"Leaving! Where?" | demanded. Why did I feel so damn possessive.

"I've got to go to France, I'm doing a photoshoot with Gaspard Ulliel," she explained. "But don't worry l've got him the best dog sitter money can buy."

"It's not that..." I trailed off awkwardly.

"Well, I don't know what YOUR issue is," she said sassily. "But I was gonna ask if you wanted to come with me. I don't know France."

"You, you want me?" I asked in shock.

"Yes Timmy, you're my only French friend," she giggled. My heart sunk a bit. Just because I was French.

"I'll be there, you can count on me," I promised.

We both got to France and had a nice dinner at a restaurant. I swear the tension could be cut with a knife but she didn't seem to notice at all. Was this girl gulping down clueless juice? When I said goodnight I felt like like l wanted to kiss her more than I ever had.

The next day I made sure I looked perfect. I wasn't quite sure what Gaspard looked like, but I wanted to look better.

"You look dashing," she smiled when I came out. She looked so dazzling I nearly couldn't speak.

"Come on," she said. I think she confused my dazed appearance for laziness. She pulled me along and before I knew it we were in the studio.

"Ah, welcome, welcome," the handsome man smiled.

"Y/n, ma Cherié, I am so glad you agreed to this," Gaspard smiled and I could tell he was exaggerating his accent.

I rolled my eyes as he kissed her hand.

"Anything you want, anything at all, and it's yours. I've had the gifts sent to your dressing room," he said with a bow. He acted like the fucking candle from beauty and the beast.

"The gifts?" She asked.

"You are to be with me twelve days yes?" He asked.

"Yes."

"Well, I shall give you that amount of gifts for each day," he smirked.

"Is that really appropriate," | growled.

"Every beautiful girl deserves spoiled. Wouldn't you agree Chalamet?" He chuckled.

"Come on y/n," I snapped and grabbed her hand.

"Where are you going?" Called Gaspard, and I smiled because he sounded put out.

"Gonna check out the fucking gifts!" I called over my shoulder. I shoved her her in the dressing room and pushed her against the wall.

"What is going on?" She asked in confusion.

"You really don't know what's happening?" | asked.

"No," she said and quirked her head to the side in adorable confusion.

"Just, just," ahhh," I nearly pulled my hair out. Before I knew what | was doing 1 I spun her. I ripped up her dress.

When her sparkling thong was pulled down I saw the deliciousness of her cunt. I cursed in French.

"Timothée?" She asked. I cursed again and pulled down my pants and boxers. She rubbed her thighs together and I cursed a third time. She just couldn't make me stop being vulgar.

"Let me claim you," I growled.

"Wh-what?" She asked.

"With my cock, please. Don't be Gaspard's, or Austin's, or fucking Tommy Lee's. Be mine, be mine only. Let me claim the hottest body in the world," I whispered.

"I had no idea you wanted that, of course you can," she said. She pressed herself against the wall further, and turned her head so that she didn't hurt her forehead.

I slammed my cock into her pussy and she let out a sharp shout. I began to pump in and out. She was so damn tight.

"You think I didn't want this gorgeous ass?" I asked and slapped her cheek. She squealed. I enjoyed the jiggle of her ass.

"You think I didn't want to sink my cock into that pretty pussy. Don't you want to be marked and owned by me.

Don't you want them to have to airbrush the shit out of you because l've covered you in my desire."

"Oh Timothée," she gasped. I wrapped her hair around my hand, but pulled back gently. Showing her I was in charge but not hurting her. Now her neck was exposed and I sucked like a vampire.

"D-Daddy," she moaned and I stopped everything.

"What did you just say?" I said in a low, venomous tone.

"Daddy," her voice was small and not as confident as usually. For some reason her switch from confident sass to trembling need was so sexy.

I began to thrust even harder. The sounds of my hips slapping her ass were echoing.

"So confident one second, but now you need daddy's dick," I said cockily. My hands slid up her dress and fondled her large breasts as I fucked her.

"Please daddy, fuck your baby girl," she begged.

"Such a naughty girl getting presents from other men. You're mine, fucking mine you hear me?" I snarled as I tweaked her nipples. She let out a cry.

"Don't tell me you can't take daddy's cock," | teased.

"I can, I can, oh daddy I promise," she gasped.

I aggressively pulled out of her. I ripped her dress off. She had her thong around her ankles and her breasts out of her bra. She looked like a wet dream. I anchored my hands on her wide hips. I slammed my cock back in her. I was wildly fucking her, wanting her to be cum drunk by the time she went back to Gaspard.

"You like daddy's cock right Miss October? Your fill ass, and heavy tits, and gorgeous body like Daddy?" I asked her.

"Yes daddy! I love it all," she whined. I grabbed her leg and and lifted it to wrap around my waist. I was hitting her at a whole new angle. She was crying out with each slam of my cock. I was feasting on her neck. I wanted it to be a mass of purple.

"Daddy, I'm gonna come. Daddy can I?" She begged.

"Not, fuck, yet," | grunted. I slapped her tit and it jiggled too. I was so obsessed.

"Fuck, you can come soon baby girl," I moaned. I pulled out, and slapped her pussy. She yelped and I massaged it aggressively.

"You like that? You like that? Does Daddy's girl like being man handled?" I growled out.

"Yes daddy," she gasped. She was heaving her ample chest going up and down quickly. I pushed my cock back into her to pump.

"Daddy please," she said in a high pitched voice. She sounded so good!

"Are you daddy's?" | asked.

"Yes I belong to you," she agreed.

"Have I claimed you properly?"

"Yes, yes, you do it so well," she whimpered.

"Come then my dear," I ordered.

"Aahhhhhhh!" She wailed pathetically. She was shaking and convulsing as her orgasm overwhelmed her. I was breathing heavily as I went balls deep and began to squirt cum into her. I was fucking it deeper as we both groaned and gasped.

"F-fuck," she moaned as she came down.

"You gotta go back now darling," I said with a smirk.

"W-wait no," she whined.

"Ah, ah, ah, you need to do your job," I said as I pulled up her thong. I couldn't resist getting on my knees and using my tongue to scoop out some of my own cum. I lifted it up to her mouth. I told her to open with my eyes.

She whimpered and I drooled saliva and cum into her mouth. She moaned as she swallowed.

"Good girl," I said and promptly pulled up her thong and put her breasts back where they belonged. She obediently put on her dress when I told her to.

"Now get out there," I said and slapped her ass. I watched her walk out with satisfaction. That ass never disappointed.

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