#I promise they become a great parent child relationship

[aith-art]

A Courier and A Survivor meet

Word Count - 1.8k

 The bag was one of the few items I retained when I made my way back east. Covered in patches from the groups I had befriended, helped and trusted. And some from groups I then abandoned, betrayed, and destroyed to fulfil a contract that I never wanted and couldn't escape. It acted as a reminder of my biggest failure. And an excellent way to transport random junk and mail across the wastes. The only other reminders that still existed were the scars. Two of which I could never avoid seeing in the mirror. I left all that behind me. I made my way to the Commonwealth. I actively ran from my past, even if a shadow of steel seemed to follow me.  

Word Count - 1.8k

This Job was no different to my usual. Inform the mother that her husband and child were fine, likely get yelled at, then do a quick shop for whatever clothes and such were brought to Diamond City that could be put to better use in Goodneighbor. Everyone knew that’s where I took what I bought, but never cared. If they did, they never voiced it to me. I shoved the note into my messenger bag with my general supplies.

As I made a move for the gate, wanting to utilise the night to make it past the Commons, a small figure stood before me. 

“Hi?” I tried to hide the caution and concern in my voice, to no avail. 

The person before me was young. Maybe 14 pushing 15. Not someone I expected to see alone in the streets of Goodneighbor. I suppose ‘alone’ wasn’t an accurate description, the girl had a dog with her. A big, healthy one. She and her dog didn’t seem hostile, though in Goodneighbor appearances were something to be questioned. Her red hair was pulled back into a ponytail, much like I wore when I was her age, for a second I questioned if she was a hallucination of myself. It wasn’t out of the question after my injury. But others around had seen her, rolled their eyes, and returned to their lives. She gave a small wave and a sideways look. I was suddenly a puzzle to her. Had I seen her before? 

“Hi.” She replied after a moment, “You were on the Prydwen weren’t you?” 

I paused. No one was supposed to know about that little interaction I had with those steel morons, let alone a kid. “No, Why do you ask?” 

“You were. You looked so different from everyone else aboard. I want to know why you were there. Are you a secret Brotherhood spy planning to take down Goodneighbor for Elder Maxson?” 

That was overly specific, I thought. Though she seemed suddenly more defensive. A subtle hand reaching down the back of her belt, likely for a knife or switchblade. Her feet shifted, entering a somewhat impressive stance. Her mention of Maxson by name informed me that she was involved with the Brotherhood, in some capacity at least. 

“If you’re with the Brotherhood, why do you care?” 

She narrowed her eyes. “I…” 

I had her there. She was smart enough to know that Goodneighbor would become a target for the Brotherhood, eventually, due to being a safe haven for ghouls and outcasts and the Brotherhood’s adamant denial of ghoul’s personhood. But Goodneighbor wasn’t the target of Maxson’s war. Hell, I doubt it made it as even a bullet point on a Brotherhood to-do list. 

“My friends live here.” It was barely above a whisper. 

I couldn’t leave her question unanswered. “I’m not here to destroy Goodneighbor for the Brotherhood of Steel. I’m completing some freelance work. No one in the Brotherhood knows I’m here.” Not a complete lie. It just happened to omit the fact that I was running from the Brotherhood and that I had no plans of going back if I could help it. 

“Oh. But why were you on the Prydwen?” A curious soul. Well-meaning, clearly. 

“Look, kid-” 

Before I could bull shit a response the door to the state house opened behind me and Nick stepped out, mid-conversation with Fahrenheit. I jumped, unaware he'd been inside. He looked towards the bench across from Daisy’s Discounts before his eyes scanned past me and landed on the kid. His shoulders seemed to relax slightly as he saw she was okay. 

“Dana, would you let the courier do their job?” He turned to me briefly. “Headed Diamond City ways?” 

“Yeah, believe I might be saving you a job on this one.” 

“You always seem to.” 

“See you around Nick.” 

I wanted to question why he was running around with a teenager, what they were doing in Goodneighbor. Hell, why did the kid know I was on the Prydwen? But I had to get this job completed, for my reputation if nothing else. We exchanged a parting nod as I headed out of the gate and into the super mutant filled streets. 

As I crossed Boston Commons, taking a quicker route despite the increased danger, I registered a second set of footsteps some 20 paces behind me. They were trying to be quiet, though they weren't doing a great job. I continued ahead. If someone was tailing me, they would make themselves known before long. 

By the time I entered Diamond City the sun had risen and I was certain I knew who had followed me, and how long they’d done it for. I kept this knowledge to myself. After completing the delivery, and being truly chewed out by the distraught mother in the absence of her husband to scream at, I bought a box of sugar bombs, some fabric for the repairs my jeans were in desperate need of, and began to make my way back to Goodneighbor. Enjoying the warm day and relative safety of the route as I made my way via the river. Following it up towards Bunker Hill before dipping into the alley by HalluciGen Inc and following the road through, towards the large skyscraper of Mass Fusion. 

The midday sun began to be clouded by the coming storm as I stepped through the gate back into Goodneighbor, sighing with the familiar smell of cigarette smoke tinged with blood, I saw Nick and Hancock both glaring at someone behind me. 

“Dana.” Nick never sounded angry, but if his fear and disappointment could have been concentrated into one word it was that. Hancock retained his facade of calm, remaining by the door to the statehouse, though it was clear from the state of his coat he’d help Nick try to find the kid. I sidestepped out of the way, slipping beside Hancock to observe Nick and Dana have a ‘civilised’ conversation. 

Hancock whispered to me, “Did you know she’d followed you?” 

I whispered back, “It became apparent as I got close to Diamond City. She’s got skill, I’ll give her that.” 

“The skill of giving two men panic attacks.” 

“I would have told you if I had a way.” 

“Does she know you knew?” 

“Fucked if I know.” 

Both me and Hancock were choosing our words carefully. Neither wanted to admit that we cared about the kid, both trying to uphold an image that we knew was fading. 

“Hey Jules,” Hancock started, trying to work out how to approach whatever answer he was proposing to the problem of Dana. “You’ve clearly caught her attention, and I’m not going to pry into why, but - if she’s willing - would you be up for travelling with her?” 

“You asking me to play bodyguard?” 

“I’ll pay you. Got some caps set aside.” 

“Keep your caps. If she wants me to travel with her, I’ll do it.” After having her follow me to Diamond City, and her knowledge of a link between myself and the Brotherhood I couldn’t leave her to the wastes. 

“Refusing caps, huh. You see something in this kid, don’t you?” 

I didn’t respond. We both knew the answer. I looked over at Dana and Nick, who was kneeling before her and making sure she was okay. Her dog, who had been left behind with Nick in her moment of curious rebellion, cuddled up between the two of them. The conversation ended, Nick stood back up and Dana trudged over to myself and Hancock. 

“Mr Hancock, I’m sorry for worrying you.” She played up a sweet little girl act, the same technique I used to use in DC on whoever it was I wronged. 

“It’s okay, kid.” He gave a glare to Nick, for spragging about his worry. 

Dana turned to me, “And miss, I’m sorry for following you and potentially putting your life in danger.” 

“Thank you for the apology. An’ you don’t have to worry about putting me in danger. I think Nick and Hancock were more concerned that you might’ve put yourself in danger.” 

“I know mam.” 

I looked at her as she ran back the short distance to Nick, who had situated himself on the bench across from Daisy’s. She had so much more of me in her than I would ever admit. Her little bounce as she regaled to Nick that she had apologised. The way she laced her fingers together when she had apologised, a nervous habit. How she looked over her shoulder, glancing at me as she questioned whether or not I’d let her bother me with more questions. I gave her a smile, a subtle invitation to talk. 

Hancock nudged my shoulder, “Keep her safe. An’ come talk to me when you’re free, I’m always in need of a spare pair of hands in town.” 

I gave him a nod, too consumed in my thoughts to say anything but letting him know I heard and acknowledged his request. He pushed himself off the wall and made his way back into the statehouse. 

After Hancock left, my little shadow appeared before me. She beamed up at me, Nick must have mentioned I’d been asked to travel with them. 

She didn’t hesitate to ask, “Are you gonna be running with us?”

Pushing myself off the wall and dropping to my knees out of some respect for the kid I replied, “If you want me to.” 

“Yes!” She wasn’t trying to disguise her joy. But she paused for a second as it dawned on her, “My name’ Dana by the way, what’s your name?” 

“Jules.” 

“That’s a pretty name.” 

“Yeah, so’s Dana.” Her eyes widened as she ran back over to Nick, reporting what he had clearly overheard. I stood up and followed her over. For a brief moment, I registered that I didn’t receive my pay for the delivery I’d made. I’ll get it out of him later. I thought, chancing a glance up at the window where Hancock now oversaw the conversation. We shared one last nod before I completely turned my attention to Dana and the next steps of her journey.

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

No Words *ೃ༄

Summary: max defends his girlfriend and gets into trouble

𖤓 mv x reader ⋆｡°✩

𖤓 fluff + slight humour (iykyk) ⋆｡°✩

masterlist ☾☼

y/n had been a fan of formula one since she was a child. every parental figure in her life had been a fan of the sport, so it was natural and she got into it too. thankfully, it also made her realise very quickly in life that she wanted to work in the field of motorsports. she wasn't sure yet, and she was still working her way to getting into the sport, but it was a sure, clear path for her.

after meeting max, and falling in love with him, everything had changed. her family approved of the two of them, obviously, and so had his, though she hadn't cared much about jos' opinion. y/n made it clear in the beginning that she wanted to work in motorsports and she wanted to earn her place. she refused to let max talk her up or anything, because he was the kind of guy who would do just that for his girlfriend. max agreed, and promised to keep their relationship private for as long as she wanted.

it had taken her a few years. she bounced from indycar to motorgp to nascar and eventually made her way to f1 as a journalist. she had gained far more experience than she would've gotten if she had only focused on formula one, and she was confident in her abilities to finally be formula one.

max and her had stayed strong throughout, even if they kept their relationship private. she had met and become friends with daniel, lando, carlos, and all of max's friends. they often played padel together as well. mix the competitive spirits that max and she possessed, it was always fun.

after a year of being in formula one as a journalist, max and y/n had decided that it was time to stop hiding. they skipped the soft launch part, and jumped directly into the hard launch phase that left a lot of fans shook.

unfortunately, it also got her a lot of hate. y/n went from being one of the best journalists in f1 to one of the most hated ones for the same reasons that she was loved. the fans adored her because she was a woman of colour making a name for herself in such a sport, and that her parents had sacrificed a lot for her and she was making them proud. now, she was hated because her success became max's story and how he put in good words for her and how she was only with him for the money.

it broke her heart, but max was someone who had received a lot of hate before in his life, so he taught her all the ways to ignore the comments and focus on what she did best. it helped a great deal, but it also made her determined to prove that her career had nothing to do with max.

it was getting better, slowly and over time. max and y/n promised to never lose their temper on the comments. a lot of interviewers and fans had also asked the other drivers on the grid to comment on their relationship, asking if it was ethical for a journalist and a driver to date. but the other drivers always responded with the same thing, always saying how they've known max and y/n for a long time, and their relationship was no one else's business.

unfortunately, after a particularly hard race, max finally lost his cool.

"well, max, it's safe to say that this particular race of yours wasn't the best that you've performed. what do you have to say about that?"

"uh, nothing, really. we just didn't have the pace, and with some mistakes on my side, i lost a lot of points. but, i'm sure we can cover it up next race." max replied.

"you don't have to worry about us writing a bad article about you. your girlfriend and we will only be writing praises, don't you worry. the only difference would be that we won't take your hard earned money like she does," the interviewer laughed, nudging y/n.

the cameras were all focused on them, there were fans nearby, and other drivers. everyone was watching. it was live tv. the entire world was watching. the thick crowd of an audience had their gaze fixed on y/n, and all she could do in that moment was hang her head and try not to cry.

that's the moment max lost his cool. y/n was standing right there, and the interviewer had disrespected her on a very public platform.

"actually, my girlfriend will always tell me what i need to hear, whether it's good or bad. y/n y/l/n, a well known journalist, who is also standing right there with you, will write exactly what happened on track, because that's the part that she reports on. she made her own career, so fuck you for dismissing all of it." max bursted, before he stormed off.

the interviewer was spluttering, not sure how to react, but completely outraged as he forced the fia to take actions on max's outburst. y/n slipped away silently, needing to go back to max.

later on, the fia decided to punish max for using "language during the fia sunday press conference". their decision: obligation to accomplish some work of public interest.

later, an interviewer asked him if he regretted his decision of defending his girlfriend and getting a punishment, max responded, “no.”

“so, what do you think of the punishment given to you? do you think it’s fair?”

“no words.”

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

i hope you guys enjoyed this! i had a lot of fun writing this, mostly because i had no idea what my brain wanted me to write, but somehow i kept on typing. anyways, this is my prompt list, so y'all can select a number, give me a driver and i will write it as soon as possible! i also have a google form for a taglist if anyone's interested! you can sent in your requests here :)

[eternallyhauntingthehouseoflove]

Hi, I don't know If you take requests, but could you please right about the reaction and thoughts of the bat boys toward finding out their partner was pregnant? Please and thank you

A/N: I do take requests, love. And I've got you ❣️

Bat-boys find out you're pregnant🍼

Dick Grayson's first thought is worry. He doubts how he'll make it work; crimefighting, his job, then his relationship with you. And he'll wonder how Nightwing will interfere with his life, and how Bruce will react (he'll spoil the child endlessly).

Reassurance from Donna, Alfred, or Bruce will part his fog of worry and distance. He'll hit the ground running to rectify his isolation. I mean breaking the news to friends and family, arranging play dates with Roy and Lian.

"I'll be safer on patrol," he whispered," I promise, hun." You had broke down after so long of trying to remain calm. But seeing your lover return home with bruise after bruise would weigh anyone down. Especially one pregnant.

Dick's hand would always be on your belly, reminding himself that you both are safe and he's doing a great job. It's what he needs to hear, that he's making the city safer for you both.

He is 100% a handyman. Dick will build cribs, changing tables, repair toilets, fix creaky cabinets. And he'll baby proof the house." Don't worry, babe," he assured you." Just relax. It's just a clogged drain."

Jason Todd's first thought is if he'd be a good father, after everything he's been through and done. He even wonders if he deserves to be a father, or if he deserves a nameless grave. However, leaving is never and will never be an option for him. I truly think he'd be the most active out of the bat-boys.

Jason's love language has always been acts of service, and it would thrive during your pregnancy. Your house would be booby-trapped and SECURED. He'd teach you the basics of a gun, and he'd ensure your pregnancy cravings are stocked. Jason would also wash your back when your belly grew too large.

Jason would let you shop for baby and maternity clothes with his card. His only request is that you don't get the baby anything too vibrant because it's an eyesore. If anything, he'd prefer neutral tones or black on the baby.

The weather becomes his interest after the baby's birth." Do you think they need a jacket?" Is his favorite line." Don't you think it's a little hot for them to be wearing long sleeves," he'll wonder. Or the baby is swaddled and he'll question," do you think he's overheating? I'd be hot if that were me all wrapped up like that."

A child is the only thing to make him stand steadfast on his refusal to kill. Not Bruce, not Dick, not even you. Your child brought forth a new mindset, one of not wanting to see a killer reflecting in the innocent and chocolate eyes of his child (Jason's eyes are brown. Argue with a wall).

Tim Drake isn't as present as one would believe. His activity is inconsistent, and it's harder to reach him because he's usually working. But he wants you to sit with him, to bring the baby and let him play around in his office.

It warms his heart to return from a meeting and his baby is sprawled out on his pastel blue teddy bear blanket and cooing. You're dangling a rattle over him, and Tim would strut over and kiss you on the cheek." How's it going, love?" He'd ask and rub the baby's cheek." They being good?" His eyebrow would raise playfully.

The baby would be raised around Bruce and Alfred more than his actual parents. I also see Stephanie caring for the baby and even babysitting if you work or just need rest. Cass would swoon over it, so prepare for tons of peeled oranges and Cass making your bottles.

Alfred would surely read your baby literature. He'd be sitting in the library, baby on his lap while y'all rest, reading from a dusty and old book that's sure to ignite your allergies.

Damian would try his hardest to be a fun dad because he never got that. It's been well documented that he wouldn't dare put a child through his life. So I think the farthest he would go is teaching you enough to defeat the average Shadow/Assassin. But he would not want you killing.

I think he'd lean into Bruce's "No-Kill" mantra after having a child. If you even want to enter vigilantism; he'd understand if you choose not to. It's a thankless job; it's isolating and bruising.

But I think if the kid did continue training, that's when they'd truly bond. Damian and he/she would laugh and joke between rounds; he'd show them the best way to throw a punch, and he'd teach mercy. That's also when they'd meet the other side of their family---the Al Ghuls. But Damian would have strict stipulations on what they learn. No instant kill moves, no brainwashing, none of the narcissistic sentiments Talia filled his head with.

I also think you, Damian, and your kid would lead fairly healthy lives. Not overboard, but the occasional protein shake or morning run; maybe even a little weight lifting. Or if cardio is your speed, he'd install a home-treadmill or a pool.

Bruce Wayne's first thought would be his age. How he's climbing in age and his job usually doesn't lead to gold and sunsets. He'd be happy because he sees it as a second chance. His first two sons saw the angry and vengeful side of him, so that's how they grew up; Tim sought him, and Damian came stained with blood.

But with you and the baby, he could actually be a father. He could raise the baby from infancy and make bottles and hush cries, like he wanted to with Dick and Jason. He could show the baby his favorite movies and just talk to them, even though the baby would respond with drool and coos.

He wouldn't have to be alone anymore. Bruce would set his child on a straight path; the world has enough Bats and birds. They could just...be. They'd would carry on the Wayne name.

Bruce would spoil you and his baby rotten. He'd watch over the baby like a hawk; each cry, each coo, each babble would send Bruce into a fit of worry. He'd leap up from his seat and check the cradle, only to find a giggling baby with his feet in the air. Then he'd chuckle, which would make the baby giggle even more. " You got me, little one. You got me," he'd utter and return to the Bat-computer.

[filmsmakkari]

the tale of a princess and her fair lady

rhaenyra targaryen x velaryon!reader

Summary: The daughter of House Velaryon makes a promise to her princess

CW: None!

A/N- I have not written and published a fanfiction since I was 14... bare with and pray for me.

The chamber was silent as a young girl with silver hair knelt before hundreds of candles beneath the stained-glass windows of the starry sept. Though she had never been a believer in gods and myths before, her love and worry filled her so deeply at present that she was brought to her knees in prayer.

Lady (Y/N) of House Velaryon had been in love with Princess Rhaenyra of House Targaryen for the better half of a year. They’d known each other since childhood and had always been quite close. Being the only two daughters of the great Valyrian houses in the Red Keep, they’d always felt that no one could understand them as well as each other. Their relationship, which had always toed the line between platonic and romantic, had turned into an unadulterated love affair the day Rhaenyra realized that her disdain for marriage to a man had never truly been about marriage, but more so the man.

Ever since, (Y/N) and Rhaenyra had been living in pure bliss, catching each other’s eye, walking with linked arms in public, and worshiping each other’s bodies during those private moments brought on by the cover of night. In recent days, however, the girls have been slightly at odds with each other, as (Y/N)’s parents have posed a potential marriage between Lady (Y/N) and King Viserys to strengthen the realm. Rhaenyra had hardly been able to look at her lover as she could soon become her stepmother, and she didn’t want it to be more painful by prolonging their relationship until the moment (Y/N) stood at the altar.

On this day, the 13th of the eighth moon, the princess had taken a most dangerous risk in flying to her family’s seat of power, Dragonstone, to subdue her wretched uncle Daemon, who had been squatting there for a year and who had just stolen a dragon egg for his unborn bastard child. (Y/N) had gotten wind of these plans and miraculously arrived at the dragonpit just before Rhaenyra took flight. (Y/N) had implored her princess to be safe, telling her that she would not know what to do if anything happened to her. Rhaenyra, overcome by the love and emotion she had been repressing, could not think of anything else to do but cup (Y/N)'s cheeks and pull her into a kiss. (Y/N)'s eyes widened in shock for a moment, but she quickly got over it, placing her hand on Rhaenyra’s cheek and wrapping her free arm around her waist.

How lovely that kiss was, (Y/N) sighed, remembering it. Rhaenyra had left after their lips broke, and (Y/N) had been in the sept worrying ever since. Eyes closed, she murmured promises to the seven that she would never sin again if Rhaenyra was protected.

Upon hearing a familiar voice softly calling her name, (Y/N)’s eyes fluttered open. She quickly turned her head to see none other than Rhaenyra Targaryen. Her princess. The purest love in her life. Her everything.

(Y/N) ran to her lover, immediately cupping her face and kissing her fiercely. Rhaenyra met (Y/N) with the same passion, grabbing her tightly by her waist and pulling her closer. 

Two dragons burning together under the midnight sky. 

The kiss communicated everything they had been too afraid to say. “I’m sorry.” “I miss you.” “I need you.” “I love you.”

The two girls finally broke apart for air, giggling shyly in the throes of their young love. 

Suddenly serious, Rhaenyra looked deeply into (Y/N)’s eyes. A pure shade of violet only found in those with the true blood of Old Valyria, with little flecks of blue- a trait passed down from her seafaring ancestors. She then scanned (Y/N)’s entire body, her shimmering silver hair, braided at the top, loosening into long coils past her backside—the curves of her breasts and hips, the softness of her hands, and the way her brown skin shone in the moonlight.

“A true Valyrian goddess, you are,” she said.

(Y/N) looked down shyly at the compliment. Rhaenyra lifted (Y/N)’s chin with her finger and stepped closer, leaning her forehead against hers. A moment of sweetness and intimacy. 

“Kivio naejot sagon rūsīr issa va moriot,” Rhaenyra said quietly. “Dōrī jorrāelagon mirre tolie hae ao jorrāelagon issa.”

Swear to be with me always. Never love any other as you love me.

(Y/N) exhaled. “Oh, issa dārilaros. Nyke kivio, jaehossi uēpossi arlȳssī."

Oh, my princess. I swear, by the old gods and the new.

[futuremrscameron]

biker!pogue reader x rafe

content warnings: rafe is his own warning honestly, mentions of drugs/drug abuse, heavily implied mental illness, mentions of child abuse, referenced murder, stalking, frued level mommy issues, blood, physical violence, abandonment issues, rafe is a freak, toxic relationships, smut, ignoring red flags for a hot man, dubious age gap (not between biker!pogue and rafe)

______________________________________________________________

she’s jj’s role model/surrogate older sister (the pogues love her too)

lived in obx her whole life before moving to the mainland at 16 to become a professional motorcyclist. jj cried so hard that day but if you ask him about it he will deny deny deny.

she’s known him since he was a baby, often having to look after him when he found his way to the porch of his non-baby proofed home while luke was still sleeping off his hangover

her parents were very startled when she brought home a random white baby

"mommy look what i found?"

"what's that baby-"

while her parents are freaking out trying to contact luke through officers shoupe and sheriff peterkins she's playing peek-a-boo with a one year old jj.

after that incident she became his unofficial guardian, walking him to school, teaching him important life hacks like how to pick a lock (for when his bike or locker gets stuck or how he he uses it later for less legal activities)

gave him his first dirtbike and thought him how to ride it

her home is his home, a second place to stay while luke is on one of his benders or in a mood

she make sure he does his homework (not so great at that part)

only three years older than the jj and the pogues (jj doesn't realize how wild it is that a seven year old was walking his four year old self to school until he's like 13)

she's always wearing a leather jacket, always, she's got a shit ton of them

loooooooves racing. got a bicycle at 5, a dirt bike at 13, and a motorcycle at 14 (got it by working at a mechanic shop and pimping an old ride)

her parents weren’t too thrilled about her getting into racing and tried their best to keep her away from it but after she started working as a mechanic and staying out later and later they knew that giving her their blessing and safety rules was the best way to avoid the worst possible outcome

she loves jj more than anything in the world, more than racing but she would never tell him that cause she knows he’ll be so annoying about it.

an eleven year old jj follows her as she gets on her motorcycle and revs the engine. he puts and presses his hands together as he begs, “please please please please.”

“like hell jayj that’s no place for a kid, and isn’t it a school night?”

jj stayed over most of the time he basically lived with her. she often drove him to school before buying him his first dirt bike.

he pouts, “i promise i’ll get up in time please! pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaassssse.”

“fine!”

he grins and jumps up and down excitedly. “but you have to promise not to leave my side before the race and stay with bobby during.”

he groans dramatically, she tries not to coo and pinch his cheek. “awww come on!”

she crosses arms and muster up your best stern expression. “or i can have mom pick you up.”

he pouts. “fine.”

she’s sarcastic as hell like almost annoyingly so. can’t answer someone’s question without being sarcastic

she loves trashy tv (lifetime movies, tlc shows, etc, etc,)

gets arrested for street racing a lot

“c’mon sheriff peterkins you got the wrong girl.” she sits on the bench leans against the wall, pouting at the woman across from her.

the sheriff rolls her eyes. “save it, i already called your parents.”

all semblance of innocence is gone as she she stands up and rushes to the bars. “what the fuck!?”

“language!” shoupe calls from his office

also been arrested for fighting luke maybank

when she opened the door and saw jj with a black eye and busted lip she already knew. she marches towards the maybank residence, jj following close behind her. he's crying.

"please don't."

she stomps ahead, pace unrelenting not even waiting for jj's short twelve year-old legs to catch up. "go back home jj" she knocks on the door like a cop. the door opens. “what the fu-”

he’s on the floor before he can even blink.

she looks up at the failing light in her cell, now sporting a black eye herself. sheriff peterkins hangs up the phone and looks at her. she sighs. "i can't say that anyone feels bad for that man... but i'm sorry you had to do that."

biker!pogue doesn't say anything, just look down at her hands shaking. the reality of what she's done finally sinks in and her hands can't stop shaking. "he begged me not to and i did it anyway. he told me to stop." she looks down at her hands on her lap. they're still bloody and bruised. it's not hers. "how am i any better than him?" she cries, hands over her mouth to cover her sobs. "i made it worse. god i- he's gonna hurt him because of me." sheriff peterkins gets up from her chair, "now that is not true. you don’t know that and what he does is not on you. do you hear me? it’s not your fault."

"but it is!" she cries, body curling in on itself as she sobs. sheriff peterkins frowns, her heart aches for the girl, guilt eats at her but there's nothing she can do to ease her pain.

on a happier note, shes queer!

her gay awakening was mercedes varnado

her and jj LOVE wrestling. he would come over and watch it with her all the time

they’d talk about the cool moves and costumes and she stared at mercedes for longer than she found out was “normal” for straight girls

jj’s the first person she comes out to

she was scared he would look at her different or not wanna be around her anymore

she was only seventeen when she took him to a diner. they drank milkshakes and talked about everything from school to what new half illegal the pogues were up to.

“sounds cool baby bird.” he blushes at the childish nickname, “come on i’m not a kid anymore.” she pouts, “come on you’ll always be my baby bird.”

“yeah but i’m like a teenager now you know. it’ll ruin my street cred.”

she bites her lip trying to hold in a laugh. “of course. i won’t call you that anymore.”

“no! i mean…” he toys with his straw suddenly very interested in his empty glass. she knows he tends to avoid eye contact when stressed. she read online that it’s a trauma response. her hand balls into a fist at the thought of that man.

“i like it i just mean you know it would be kept for when it’s just us.”

her heart squeezes at the sight of boy before her. he’s become so emotionally mature these days, shes thankful that he’s not showing signs of being an asshole like hiss dad. he’s grown up so much, he used to only come up to her waist but now they’re the same height.

she smiles, “totally.” he grins, proud of this huge accomplishment that she knows he’s probably spent days rehearsing how to bring it up to her.

“um speaking of i um actually brought you here to tell you something important. i was a little scared if i’m being honest.” she chuckles but jj sees through her tough exterior. she hates/loves that he can.

he holds her hand, “you know you can tell me anything.”

she nods, “yeah um gosh this shouldn’t be so hard.” she chuckles nervously. “um-” she meets his eyes. “jj. i’m…gay”

he looks shocked. “oh.”

she feels her stomach twist. “good oh or bad oh?”

“good oh. sorry didn’t mean to scare you i’m glad you told me. i love you all that stuff.” she laughs at his attempt as casualness. “so you don’t like guys?” she shakes her head, “no i do i just also like girls.”

he looks shocked, “you can do that!?” she laughs, “yeah bud you can do that.” he nods. “cool.”

he looks deep in thought and she smiles. she debates telling him but decided not to. he’s a smart kid he’ll figure it out soon.

she and rafe are exes (kind of)

they officially met during one of the boneyard parties. the key word is “officially”, they’ve seen each other around before but never officially met until later (pre-s1)

one spilled drink on her shirt leads to a conversation which leads to them making out in his car. they’re a bundle of hands and kisses, she’s on his lap alternating between biting his lip and kissing his neck. he pulls back first to admire her. the moonlight seems extra bright that night, illuminating her in the car. no one can tell rafe that it’s not a sign that she’s an angel (despite her personality).

“you’re beautiful. you don’t know how long i’ve been thinking about this. you. i’ve seen you race. you’re so beautiful.” she presses a finger to his lip.

“rafe.”

“yeah?”

“shut up and kiss me.”

“okay.”

their height difference is perfect. he’s 6’2, she’s 5’0. i love a good height difference idc idc. especially if it’s a tiny girl who talks like she’s a giant.

it was love at first sight for rafe

the final bell had rung throughout kildare academy, ushering in summer break. rafe rushed out of his class, his bag already packed and on his back. he ran past teachers and students alike, not bothering to say excuse me. he ignores sarah’s call for him to watch where he’s going and be considerate of others. he laughs as he collides with his two best friends, kelce and topper.

one outside they hear the revving of a motorcycle. the rider comes into view as they stop in front of the sidewalk. the biker parks and gets off, leaning against the bike like they’re waiting for someone.

kelce whistles at the mystery figure, topper looks confused, and rafe is intrigued.

“kelce, you don’t even know if it’s a girl.”

“are you kidding me? look at that figure.”

“okay well they’re on private property.”

“they’re on the sidewalk top.”

“yeah but-”

rafe ignores the duo, still entranced by the biker. they’re all brought back to reality when kiara, a former pogue and sarah’s newest friend, brushes past them.

topper frowns and calls after her, “hey watch where you’re going kie!”

she doesn’t even look back as she flicks him off “fuck off top you have no room to talk!”

a nearby teacher calls for her to watch her language but she’s already at the sidewalk and hugging the motorcyclist.

someone nearby says what rafe’s thinking, “kie knows her?” he’s so intrigued he might see if sarah knows anything. a mini crowd has formed while other pass them to head home or to the beach for the summer.

kiara backs up and the helmet comes off. a girl.

“i told you she’s a girl. pay up.”

“we didn’t bet asshole.”

the same teacher tells topper to watch his language.

her deep brown skin is flushed from the summer heat and being trapped under that helmet for god knows how long. her micro braids are up in a clip safe for a few strands. she smiles at kiara with all the fondness of a long lost friend. rafe finds himself wishing he was on the receiving end of that radiant smile. she’s rubs kiara’s arms and frowns as she says something he can’t quite make out before taking off her leather jacket and puts it over kiara’s shoulders. ‘a leather jacket in this weather?’ rafe decides she’s insane, beautiful but insane. with the leather jacket off he can finally see her arms and he feels faint. her arms. his eyes scan further down to her chest sweat cascading down and sitting in the space between her-

“hello! earth to rafe!” sarah’s voice breaks him out of his leering.

he rolls his eyes trying to see the pretty motorcyclist behind his sister who's blocking the view. he catches one last glimpse of them before they speed off.

he sighs and drags his hand across his face, "i already know where this is going and the answer's no." he pushes past her and heads to (ward's) his car.

she follows after him ranting about how important it is that she doesn't miss the party from the moment they get in the car until they reach tannyhill.

if he asks about kiara's new friend with the motorcycle that's his business.

biker!pogue sees him when he pushes past her at barry’s

she parks in front of the familiar trailer and turns her engine off. she takes off the helmet and is hit by the overwhelming familar smell of weed.

"jesus christ." she mumbles as she places her helmet on the left handlebar. she adjusts her black and gray striped skirt and graphic tee crop top. maybe she’s wearing a push-up bra to get a better deal but that’s her business. the leather jacket doesn’t stick to her skin since it’s twice her size.

there's screaming from inside that grows louder as she gets closer. before she can knock the door whips open nearly hitting her in the face. 'fucking assholes.'

"hey you almost hit me with the door you di-" the word dies on her tongue when she sees a flustered, manic looking blonde. he's definitely a kook, the polo gives him away. he brushes his messy hair back and stops past her and gets on his dirt bike. they lock eyes one last time before he puts his helmet on and speeds away.

time stands still as she tries to piece together where she knows him from.

“yo princess peach!” she looks back to see barry looks down at her standing at his steps. she rolls her eyes at the nickname and enters the trailer.

“unhappy customer care bear?” he frowns at the nickname

he glares at her “how many times i gotta tell you to stop calling me that? fucks with my street cred.” she snorts and flops down on his couch, “i’ll stop when you stop calling me princess peach.”

he sits down next to her. “see that’s actually cute, and it fits. look at you with your pink fucking bike looking like a princess.”

she smiles, “flattery will get you nowhere barry.”

she stands up and walks to his stash, he shrugs. “worth a shot. what do you want?”

she looks through his stuff, “the usual. plus some info.”

he smirks, “info? you been watching too many cop shows peach. i ain’t a rat.” he lights joint and takes a hit as he watches her grab what she’s looking for.

“not ratting anyone out, just wanna know who that guy was. the one that stormed out of here.”

he frowns, “country club? ah don’t worry ‘bout him.”

she sits down next to him and grabs the joint from him before he takes another hit. she takes a hit, “he’s a kook bear, i don’t wanna see you go down for selling to some rich punk cause he mouthed off to you and you laced his shit.”

he throws his head back, “that was one fucking time.”

“i’m interested, what happened to your no kook rule. and what were you two screaming about.”

“he wanted some shit i didn’t have you know how it goes.”

she nods. “tale as old as time.” she takes another hit. “what was it?”

he looks at her and laughs, “damn nancy drew you want his social security too?” he takes the joint from her.

she rolls her eyes, “fuck you. i just know you don’t let anyone talk to you crazy so i thought he was someone special.”

he grins, “he’s got deep pockets aight? you done asking questions? you’re fuckin’ with my high.”

she stands up and takes off the leather jacket, throwing it at his face, “fuck you.” she leaves the trailer and gets on her bike.

“come back again soon!”

if you ask her she'll tell you she barely remembers him cause he made that little of an impact (liar)

their vibes are very much ‘me and my girl don’t argue she tells me to shut the fuck up and i listen’ and ‘my girl’s mad at me. hope i die.’

one of his worse crashouts was the first time she dumped him

jj came over as he usually does. he wanted it to be a surprise, she’d been working at the mechanic’s damn near every day. he came by with her favorite snacks and the dvd for the jersey shore’s first complete season. instead he’s met with rafe’s tongue down her throat.

“what the fuck!?”

“jayj!?”

“so should i go or?”

jj chases a half naked rafe across the backyard.

you know that episode in the boondocks when grandad gets addicted to weed and huey asks him to choose between weed and them and grandad without hesitation chooses weed? yeah that’s how their breakup went down.

birthed this iconic voicemail. she listens to it and laughs when she's feeling down

barry has to listen to rafe cry about how “that damn kid ruined it” and how he was gonna “really do it this time” after doing another line

he’s even more crushed when she leaves obx for the mainland to pursue her dream of becoming a famous racer

like he’s proud and happy for her but he’s absolutely crushed

“i mean i knew it was coming but i mean she just left!” he does another line. “didn’t even say goodbye like who the fuck does that? thought we had something you know?”

barry scratches his head, “so you gonna be here a while or…?”

she comes back to obx at the beginning of s2 when tensions between the pogues and kooks (mainly rafe) are at an all time high throwing rafe off his game even more

rafe finds out she’s back in town through sources (kelce) and immediately gets on his bike to go to her. ward is not happy with this especially since it’s right rafe said they should kill all the pogues who know what he did. he watches race switch gears and hop on his bike.

“rafe. rafe where they hell are you going!? we’re having a conversation right now.

rafe shakes his head and grins. “she’s back.”

“who? no. no, rafe-” ward knows how bad he got last time she was in the picture does not want history repressing itself. rafe revs the engine and puts on his helmet.

“i gotta go.”

ward steps up to him, placing a soft but firm hand on his chest. “no. hey! rafe no, you are already in deep shit i can’t protect you if you keep doing stupid shit.”

rafe knows he’s disappointing his father, it pains him but he wants to make it better. he can’t do that without her. “i’m sorry.”

rafe takes off.

“rafe! goddamit…”

she’s pissed when she finds out he’s been terrorizing jj and the pogues

rafe’s at the country club with kelce and topper when he sees her again for the first time. though their reunion did not go the way he envisioned it

she tells him if he ever lays a hand on jj again she’ll kill him (he nearly cums on the spot)

their arguments are awkward for third parties because they always go from screaming and angry to intense staring and close talking

he hears her before he sees her. "rafe!"

he perks up at the sound of her voice, at first he thinks it's the coke or his mind playing tricks on him but he hears it again. "rafe! i know you're in there asshole open up!"

barry opens the door and pulls her in. "goddamn girl! the fuck's the matter with you? banging on my door like fuckin' twelve at five in the fuckin' morning."

she tugs her arm out of his grip, "fuck you." she looks at rafe, her rage disappears as they lock eyes, replaced by grief.

“angel?” she stands in front of him, hands on her hips like a disappointed mother. “what the fuck rafe? you've been harassing jj and his friends again and don't try to deny it i know you have.”

“what?”

"don't play dumb either. i knew you were an asshole but what the fuck? you tried to kill sarah!"

he frowns at the mention of his sister. "no, no she provoked me."

"i don't give a fuck! she's your sister what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"what the fuck's wrong with me?" he stands up nearly knocking over the table, barry tells him to chill but he's not listening he gets in her face, "what the fuck's wrong with you? you just leave without saying goodbye and act like i don't exist when you come back? who does that?"

she doesn’t back then though his close proximity sends chills down her spine. “this isn’t about me.”

he chuckles but there’s no humor in his tone. “almost everything i do is about you.”

the two of them stare into each other's eyes, a mutual understanding between them, everything else falls into the background. barry’s just standing there like ‘🧍🏻‍♂️’ “so are we going or…”

speaking of the men in her life pissing her off, jj showing her his gun does not go own well

“what the hell is wrong with you!?” her arms are crossed, standing up and looking down at the boy in front of her. he doesn’t say anything. “that’s not a rhetorical question jj i actually wanna know.”

“you actually wanna know?”

“yes!”

“and why would you give a shit? huh!? you’re barely around!”

“that’s not fair jj.”

“no who’s not fair is you leaving me here! what’s not fair is you fucking hooking up with at psycho rafe cameron after all he’s done to us! what’s not fair is you trying to play big sister like nothing’s changed!”

“jj!”

he stands up and gets in her face, he’s no longer the little boy she walked to school. “i don’t need your lectures, i don’t need your advice, and i definitely don’t need you anymore.”

she feels her heart shatter into a million pieces as he walks away.

his two triggers are being called a murderer (true) and being told she would never love a monster like him

when he meets up with sarah at the dock she tells him that biker!pogue deserves better than him and how she hopes locking him away for what he’s done will help her realize that

she picks him up from jail when ward “dies”

he knows something’s wrong when he sees her. she throws her arms around his neck and hugs him tight.

“i’m so sorry rafe.” he wraps his arms around her waist on the ride home. she gives his hand a reassuring squeeze at every red light. by the time they reach tannyhill the last of the boat wreckage is being removed from the water.

“rafe?” wheezie stands at the sliding glass door holding herself up. "wheeze-" she runs over to him and hugs him, crying in his arms. he's taken by surprise but quickly adjusts, wrapping his hands around her.

rose comes looking for wheezie and finds the trio outside. rose sees biker!pogue and confusion flashes in her eyes, but it's quickly covered up by the pain of loss and disappears back into the house.

she ends up staying at tannyhill for "moral support"

"really i don’t wanna intrude.” rose chuckles as she brings in pillows to rafe's room, "please, the way rafe talks about you? you're practically family."

rafe and her have a much needed heart to heart

they lay side by side looking up at the ceiling. “i want you to stay." she looks at him. he's already looking at her. she brushes his cheek with her thumb, he leans into the touch. "i'll stay as long as you want." she gives him a soft smile. he stares at her for a minute, deliberating. he kisses her.

deep down she knows it's coming but it still catches her off-guard. she knows this won't help him. it will probably make him worse, but she does it anyway. she kisses him back. they're suddenly sitting up, both on their knees he shrinks himself so she's above him as he chases after her lips. her grip on his face is soft but firm, she pulls away first. “rafe."

he looks close to tears, "please.” he nuzzles against her hand, "i'll be good."

that breaks her heart. she nods, "you don't need to be with me."

he kisses her on the cheek. jaw. eye. neck. shoulder. wrist.

she cradles his face and kisses him deeply.

he moans. he's halfway in her lap as their kissing grows more frantic and heated. his hand moves down her shorts, she gasps.

"tell me i'm good."

she grips the sheer with one hand and his hair with the other. "you're so good rafe."

he speeds up his movement at that, making note of her shortness of breath and tightening grip. "yeah?" his breath is hot against her neck,

she nods and meets his gaze. "yeah." he kisses her again, her moans swallowed by him.

he likes it, keeping them for himself.

she grips his shoulder and shudders against him. they both breathe heavily. she looks at him looks down. he follows her line of sight. he looks back up, at her lips then meeting her eyes.

“you don’t have to-”

she pushes him down and straddles his hips. “be a good boy and stay quiet yeah?” he nods.

probably the closest he’s come to seeing heaven. (pun half intended)

she bumps into sarah in the kitchen that night

sarah jumps and nearly drops her glass when she turns around and sees biker pogue!reader behind her. she chuckles, "sorry, didn't mean to scare you." sarah shrugs, "not scared, just startled."

it's awkward. "um i just came for some water so." she grabs a bottle from the fridge and gives sarah one last parting glance. "i'm sorry for your loss."

sarah looks like she wants the floor to swallow her whole. like she's just been reminded of her father's grizzly death. 'great nice going' she thinks to herself. "sorry, again. um bye." she turns to leave and beats herself up for her awkwardness and poor choice of words. the idea of rafe's sisters not liking her makes her stomach feel weird.

"you should stay away from rafe." she stops in her tracks and turns around, "what?" sarah walks up to her slowly, "he's not a good person. you don't know him, the things he's done-" "

"i know." sarah backs up, eyes squinted and lips pursed like she's just been told aliens are real. "i know he killed sheriff peterkins, i know-" she swallows, "i know he tried to kill you."

sarah's face falls, she looks betrayed. "you know?"

biker pogue!reader reaches out to her but sarah pulls back. "sarah i'm sorry and i know he's unpredictable but-" sarah's voice rises, "then you know what he's capable of."

she nods, "i do." sarah shakes her head, "love makes us all stupid huh?" usually she would deny it but this time she says "yeah, yeah it does." sarah doesn't look angry or betrayed anymore. this time the look she gives her is one of pity and understanding. she hugs her, "be careful." she leaves her with much to think about.

she can't blame sarah for not wanting to be around rafe right now but she still feels

“sarah left. i’m trying to keep the family from falling apart she just- she doesn’t get it!” he’s yelling but she knows it’s not from rage but regret and heartbreak? how did they get here? did the resentment start?

“i don’t know how to make her get it i don’t know what to do.” he cries into his hands.

she rubs his shoulder, “hey she just needs some space, and that’s not your job. you’re trying your best. you’re a good guy rafe.”

he stares, to anyone else it would look cold but she knows he’s contemplating her words, struggling to believe them. he kisses her. she blinks slowly, “rafe…”

he pushes himself away from her walking to the other side of the room. “i’m sorry.”

she moves towards him. “hey no it’s fine i- i wanted you to kiss me.”

his eyebrows furrow, deeply confused. whether it’s by her acceptance of him or the kiss she doesn’t know. “you did?”

“i mean it’s probably a bad time now but yeah i’ve been wanting to kiss you since i got back.”

he nods stiffly and leaves the room. she’s left standing there more confused than ever.

when he’s working with lambry and her brother biker!pogue notices that he’s slightly more put together and while she wants to know why she doesn’t wanna pressure him into telling her

she’s in his room chilling when he comes bursting in telling her he has the cross

“that’s not all is there?” he hates that she knows him so well, he shakes his head and sniffs. “no uh no there’s more.”

she nods, “okay, do you wanna tell me?”

he shakes his head, “i’m scared you’ll look at me differently.”

“i highly doubt that, i know a lot of shit about you and none of it has scared me away.”

he looks at her like she’s just told him she’s found atlantis. he’s trying to compute why she does. why stay with him when he’s like this? he needs to know. “you won’t after this?” he grabs her by the wrist and pulls her off the bed dragging her outside to the truck.

“rafe what is your problem!” she knows it’s not coke, last he used was the day after ward’s death when he came to her with his theory about rose hiding something. “you’ll see.” he opens the truck and she sees the body, she almost falls to the ground.

“wh- what is this? what- where’s that lady is- wait this is-”

“the guy that was here the other day.” she looks at him, there’s no fear in her eyes but shock and confusion. “you didn’t do it.”

he tilts his head, “why do you think that?” she looks at the body again, “i don’t know. you seem more disturbed by this than peterkins. it’s not adrenaline though it’s… was it her?”

he’s always amazed by how smart she is. he nods. “okay.”

she hears screaming coming from downstairs and by the time she gets there she sees sarah in a chair passing out

she runs to her, pushing rose out of the way to check on her. “sarah? sarah honey answer me.” she looks back at rose and rafe, disgust and anger in her eyes as she cries. “what did you do?”

rose reaches out to her but her hand is quickly slapped away. “you drugged your own daughter?” rose has the decency to look ashamed while rafe just stares unflinching in his resolve. she turns to rafe, “it’s not too late you can still stop this you can do the right thing-”

rafe turns to rose, “take her to the car, i’ll clean it up.” rose nods while biker!pogue looks at him, “clean it up? rafe that’s a person! you can’t just-” suddenly there’s a pinch feeling in her neck. she turns to rose who’s holding a needle.

she looks remorseful but that doesn’t change anything.

biker!pogue sluggishly turns to rafe, “you dick.” she tries to swing at him but is too slow. he catches her before she falls and sits her gently on the chair across from sarah.

“i’m sorry. i hope you can forgive me.” she blinks twice before she’s consumed by darkness.

when she wakes up on the ship and sees ward she thinks she's dead

she hears about their plan with the cross and thinks it's idiotic

"rafe your dad faked his death, rose fucking drugged me and sarah, and wheezie's scared out of her fucking mind. nothing about any this is normal!"

“this just makes you look worse cause you know all this and you’re still dating me.”

“bitch!?”

he's right though

rafe refuses to let her come with him when they're lured to that room and tells her to stay put

"fuck you i'm coming with you!"

"like hell you are!"

"rafe-"

"i need you to stay here, watch over wheezie." she frowns, not liking the thought of leaving him but understanding him. she nods.

he kisses her forehead and leaves.

she doesn't listen, which is how she finds herself on the upper deck leaning over the railing looking down at kiara and jj fighting off a hired soldier

she sees jj fall overboard and it breaks her

she thinks she screams but it’s hard to tell with her ears ringing. kiara immediately jumps after him and she finds herself loving the girl even more. she runs down to the deck, the man that hurt jj is still on the floor getting his barring back from that kick to the chest kiara delivered. she punches him in the face and he's back down.

she stomps on his wrist, the one holding the machete. "you like beating up on kids? huh!? makes you feel big and bad?" she doesn't wait for a reply, she kicks him in the side once, twice, three times. while he’s dissociated and groaning in pain she grabs the machete and repeatedly brings it down in a blind rage. over and over and over. blood splashes on her face, jolting her back to reality.

she sits there and for what feels like forever

rafe finds her after what feels like forever. she jumps at first before she realizes it’s him. he holds her shoulders softly holding her against his chest.

he hold her at arms length getting a good look at her. he looks at her hands. she balls them into fists. “they’re not mine.” she doesn’t meet his eyes, staring ahead at nothing.

“i know. i don’t care about any of that though i’m just happy you’re okay.” he hugs her. “i thought i lost you.”

he keeps talking but all she can make out is "cross" "pogues" and “alive”.

she looks down at her hands. they're bloody and bruised but they don't shake. rafe holds them in his hands, “hey it’s okay. you’re okay.” she shakes her head, letting out a mumbled whine

“i was angry.” her voice comes out shaky. “my-my body just…. moved.”

“whatever he did the fucker had it coming.”

she looks up at him and stares like she’s finally seeing him for the first time. “no-”

“he hurt you didn’t he?”

she shakes her head, troubled by his deduction. “he hurt jj.”

“like i said, deserved.”

she pushes him away, “they were right about you. you’re dangerous. you’re not even fucking flinching at the sight of- of a- a fucking dead guy. how could you look at me like i’m-i’m-” an angel. “i killed someone rafe! do you get that!? i’m a monster!”

“hey!” he snaps gaining the attention of his family and some workers.

he lowers his voice, “don’t say that okay? you’re not a monster. you did something a lot of people would do in the same situation.”

she shakes her head “no.”

he nods, “yes, hey!” he grips her face, stop shaking your head it’s true. now you listen to me, you’re a good person okay? this, this moment doesn’t represent you. doesn’t change shit so don’t go wasting your tears on him okay?”

she nods, sobs turning to sniffling. he brings her in for a hug, she cries into his chest. he looks up and sees rose staring down at them in shock and fear. he holds her closer and kisses her head. “it’s okay. i’ll protect you.”

three nights later the boat is close to shore when he realizes there is actually something that could be the final nail in their relationship (a kryptonite)

they’re lying in bed she’s facing away from him but his arms are wrapped around her waist.

“if jj's dead i'll never forgive you." he stills and looks at her back. he kisses her shoulder. he knows she means it.

things are tense between them until he gets back from singh

she’s patching him up when he tells her about his journey and the pogues being alive

“jj’s alive.”

she stops sewing. “how do you know?”

he grimaces from the pain of the last sew and pull, “kiara was there. we escaped together and she fucking pushed me overboard and stole my boat to save her scooby doo gang.”

she smiles at this, “smart girl.”

he frowns, “whose side are you on?”

“stop frowning your face will get stuck like that.”

when jj comes back to obx their reunion is a tearful one.

she hugs him so tight eyes wide as takes in his scent. she pulls back first to get a good look at him, checking him for any injuries. he smiles, "i know." she knocks her forehead against his, "don't do anything stupid like that again." he lets out a wet laugh, "no promises."

one of the reasons biker!pogue "ignores" his red flags is that he’s unfortunately a good boyfriend (if you don’t look to deeply)

he bought her a diamond encrusted lighter for her birthday

with some of the money he owed barry

he got her a necklace with the letter 'R' so that he’s “always close to her heart”

it’s only after their second breakup that she finds out it’s a tracker

biker!pogue after pulling up to the country club: i’m not a fucking dog rafe! so what the fuck possessed you to put fucking tracker on me!

kelce and topper: i’m sorry what?

after their second breakup caused by rafe melting the cross he became in her words “more annoying” (dear reader he was stalking her)

“rafe! i know you’re in there open the fuck up!”

rafe starts coughing uncontrollably. barry pats his back while staring at him in disgust and an undertook of concern. “yo chill man it’s just princess peach. yo peach! calm down yeah-” rafe covers his mouth. barry pushes his hand away. “the fuck’s wrong with you man all that coke finally fuck up your head!?”

rafe glares at him “i didn’t want her to know anyone’s here much less me and your dumbass ruined that!”

“first off you’re not gonna call me a dumbass in my home, and second who’s the real dumbass, the man that didn’t know there was beef between you two and said what’s up to an old friend? or the man who doesn’t want to be found and came to the place everyone knows he hangs at?”

rafe frowns, “well when you put it like that-”

“you look dumb as hell? yeah i know.” he gets up and move stop the door. rafe starts freaking out grabbing at his hand. “what are you doing!?” “calm down man. i’m serious act like you got some sense or i’m kicking you the fuck out.”

“barry i know you’re in there!”

barry sighs, “i’m comin’ peach.”

“don’t fucking answer her!?” rafe whisper yells from his hiding spot behind the couch’s left arm.

barry stares him down, trying to figure out when he made thee move from his couch to that corner and how he didn’t make any noise. “look country club whatever you did to makes her mad you probably deserve.”

“don’t!”

barry opens the door and is met with a smiling biker!pogue. “thank you bear.” she turns her attention to a poorly hidden rafe. “rafe cameron what the fuck problem? is it the coke? you wanna die? i’m just tryna figure out what made you lose your goddamn mind and put a fucking tracker on my bike.”

rafe stands up and sits on the couch like a scorned child. barry’s mouth falls open in shock, “a tracker man? what the fuck? why not just call her!”

“we broke up.”

“she blocked me on everything.”

the exes stare at each other for a couple seconds. barry clears his throat, very uncomfortable with the tension.

rafe crosses his arms, “how’d you find it?”

she sends him a knowing look.

he scoffs and scratches at his upper lip. pope. that fucking pogue.”

“hey! watch it! i’m not your concern anymore. i don’t need to give you updates on my location and you have no right to put a fucking tracker on me.”

he stands up and steps up to her. “how else am i supposed to protect you?”

barry tries to make space between them, “woah okay man how bout we all chill?”

biker!pogue scoffs and steps closer, “no fuck that. what part of ‘we’re done.’ did you not get?”

rafe pretends to think of an answer, lips pursed and furrowed brows. “um the part where it’s fucking stupid cause i didn’t even do anything.”

she points a manicured finger in his face. “you know what you fucking did rafe!”

“why do you always take their side?” the veins in rafe’s neck are bulging.

“oh where we go again!”

barry wonders if this is what his friends feel like whenever they break up a fight between him and a customer. or him and anyone.

rafe chuckles, “yeah here we go again because your last answer was bullshit!”

he spits out ‘bullshit’ like it’s acid on his tongue. she steps forward not quite getting in his face but pointing up at him.

“fuck you cameron i don’t owe you shit!”

he leans down, matching her glare. “the fuck you don’t!”

her eyes widen at his audacity. she gets closer but there’s basically no room between them at this point. “excuse me!”

barry grabs his keys. “i’m gonna go.” they don’t hear him over their yelling but he still tries his best to make as little noise as possible while leaving the trailer.

when he comes back two hours later he finds their clothes all over the floor leading to his bedroom. he opens the door and finds them cuddling. “yo not on my bed bro!”

biker!pogue is not any better unfortunately she matches his freak

they drunkenly make out in ward’s office stumbling around as they remove articles clothing. after a long night of stolen kisses, networking, and teasing they left the country club event early.

she puts some distance between them and backs up until she hits the desk. he moves like a lion stalking its prey, eyes trained on her, every step precise. he’s in front of her now, he grips the back of her neck and plants teasingly slow kisses from her neck to her shoulders.

he lifts her up onto the desk to get a better angle. she giggles at the action, “okay caveman.”

he lets out a him of agreement but doesn’t let up like adam after he tasted the forbidden fruit he wants more. she closes her eyes and grips his hair before pulling him away. he groans and pulls her against him. “tell me what to do.”

she smirks and slowly pushes him down to his knees.

he looks up at her as he kisses his way up each leg, moving the dress when it gets in his way.

he crumples up the dress, she frowns “hey this was thirty bucks.”

he rolls his eyes, “i’ll get you a new one. lord knows you need a better one.”

“excuse me!? i didn’t know this was dress to impress.”

he frowns, “i’m sorry.” he kisses her through her underwear, her breath hitches. “don’t be mad at me.” he gives a teasing lick, she groans and tightens her grip in his hair making him look up at her. “no teasing. be a good boy and show me you’re sorry.”

he smiles “yes ma’am.”

one time rafe comes to one of her races with a girl

the fucking audacity. they arrived just as the race was about to begin, he’s trying to throw her off her game and that’s one thing she won’t allow. she wins the race and makes a beeline to him and his girl. the way she kisses him is messy. teeth colliding, tongues clashing, spit down the chin, lip biting, and lots of moaning and groping. she's marking her territory.

she breaks the kiss and looks to their right where the girl once was. she looks at rafe, eyes wide with fake curiosity and innocence, "do you think it was something i said?"

he laughs and pulls her close, hands on her waist. he bends down and whispers against her hair, "feel better?"

she shakes her head, "not yet."

he knows it’s going to be a long night.

rafe and jj are jealous of the other “taking all her time away from them”

she thinks rafe’s jealousy is worse (and she's right he's a grown man jealous of a child)

“you gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“do i look like i’m joking?” he crosses his arms and flares like thats supposed to spook her

“you look like a dumbass and you sound like an idiot. you’re jealous of jj!? jj’s my brother you asshole!”

“he’s clingy and he knows when we’re together and that’s when he chooses to call!

“he needs me!”

“he’s needy!”

“he’s a kid!”

“please! he’s been around the fucking world and survived being shot at!”

“that’s not a normal thing to happen for a boy his age rafe! he needs a strong support system!”

“what about me? what about the help i need!?”

“do not start that with that bullshit! i am constantly helping you in on your side even when i probably shouldn’t be!”

jj is just as bad as rafe but he’s more pouty about it and she can’t stay mad at him for long when he looks so cute

he slashed rafe’s tires and was caught in the act by one other than biker!pogue. he’s thankful because if he was found by anyone else he’d be in jail or six feet under. though he would prefer death than the disappointed look being sent his way.

“please say something.”

“i’m shocked. i have no words. what were you thinking?”

“i was thinking ‘fuck rafe cameron’.”

“jj!”

“he’s been taking up all your time and he’s a dick.”

“jj, just cause i’m with rafe doesn’t mean i don’t love you. and i’m sorry, you’re right i have been neglecting you a bit.”

“i know i cause more problems than i’m worth but please, please don’t hate me.”

his pout tugs at her heartstrings, she melts.

“oh jayj.” she hugs him. “i could never hate you.” she rubs his hair while his face against her stomach. “i love you baby bird.”

he smirks against her stomach, “i love you too.”

rafe’s just standing there like 🧍🏼

they probably shouldn’t be together but being apart is worse

they cannot survive separation

she’s patching him up when he tells her about his journey and the pogues being alive

“jj’s alive.”

she stops sewing. “how do you know?”

he grimaces from the pain of the last sew and pull, “kiara was there. we escaped together and she fucking pushed me overboard and stole my boat to save her scooby doo gang.”

she smiles at this, “smart girl.”

he frowns, “whose side are you on?”

“stop frowning your face will get stuck like that.”

she’s kind of his conscious (it’s why he has her saved in his phone as ‘angel🥰’)

convinced him not to kill his dad

they’re on his bed watching reruns of the real housewives of atlanta when he brings up his predicament. he’s lying in her lap tracing her thigh as she runs her hands through his hair.

“there’s something i need to do… but i’m afraid it’ll hurt someone i love in the process.”

she pauses the episode as looks down at the man in her lap. “well i’d say do what’s best for your state of mind. if the thought of that person getting hurt isn’t enough to outweigh the risks. doesn’t make you a bad person. just consider how you’d sleep at night knowing you hurt them.”

he looks at her like she’s God™️

she’s beautiful. she’s beautiful and she doesn’t know that she just changed his life and saved his dad

the way she didn’t judge his question✅ she didn’t make him feel like a monster for not considering someone else’s as reason enough to care ✅ she ran her hands through his hair✅ his head was in her lap✅ she combined emotion and logic to give him an answer✅

he goes to her place immediately after dropping ward off at the runway

she’s in her jammies when she opens the door

rafe stands at the door looking like a pathetic wet dog. she’s smiling when she opens the door but it only takes one look at him for it to turn into a frown. rafe hates being the reason for it. “oh my god. come in, come in." she pulls him in and shuts the door behind her before immediately fussing over him, “you’re bleeding.”

“it’s not mine.”

she stares at him, waiting for him to elaborate. “my dad he- he got hurt.”

she nods. “is he gonna be okay?”

“i don’t know.”

she goes to the pogues’ ceremony after they find el dorado

rafe tags along because he can’t stand being away from her for more than an hour and cause he knows it’s important to her

“look at you! so handsome.” she pinches jj’s cheek and ruffles his hair.

he softly grabs her hand to stop the overload of affection though he secretly likes it. “come on you’re ruining my street cred and bad boy image.”

she laughs but nods, “of course wouldn’t want that.” she stares at him with adoration and fondness in her eyes. “i’m proud of you.”

he smiles, “thanks. actually couldn’t have done it without you.”

she scoffs, “please-”

“no really you- you’ve been my only family. i couldn’t have done this without you telling me that i am better than my dad and how smart i am and how i’m a good person, even if you’re wrong about that.”

“jayj…” she’s close to tears. he smiles “i love you.”

“i love you too.” they hug.

______________________________________________________________

i’ve been working on this for a minute i hope y’all liked it and if you did please comment like share yk i love feedback

[justagalwhowrites]

Halcyon - Ch. 16: You Gotta Do What You Gotta Do

You and Joel look for Anna and find a new balance in your relationship. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 15, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: SMUT! Unprotected P in V sex. Discussion of drug use and addiction. Mention of parent death Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI

Length: 10.6k

AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

“You’re sure this is a good idea?” 

You kept your voice low, watching as Joel swayed slowly with Ellie cradled in his arms. 

“She’ll be fine,” he said quietly. “C’mon. Would I do anything that would put this sweet little thing in harm’s way?” 

You sighed, Joel already ignoring you in favor of your niece. Not that you could blame him. In the two months that you’d been basically living with Joel, Ellie had blossomed. She still had her crying jags and was far from an easy baby - from what you could tell, anyway. But she was eating steadily now that you’d found a formula that didn’t upset her stomach so much and sleeping for three hours at a time overnight. She’d gone from being underweight to having charming rolls of baby fat on her arms and legs and she had this tendency to watch whoever was holding her with an intensity that felt uncommon for a baby. You were sure you were biased but you were certain that she was the smartest baby you’d ever seen. Her gaze was keen as she took everything in, her eyes shifting to a deep, rich chocolate brown and it was hard to not just look at her all the time. 

“I’d never let anything happen to you, would I?” Joel said to Ellie, his voice high pitched and lilting. “No I wouldn’t! Uncle Joel loves you so much, yes he does!” 

You smiled a little, letting yourself enjoy the sight of your best friend holding the baby who had become the most important person in the world before looking back in the direction of the kitchen where you knew Tommy was putting a mountain of junk food into the fridge and freezer. 

“Really, Goldie, it’s fine,” Joel said in his more typical baritone. “Tommy watched Sarah for me all the time when she was a baby, he’s actually great with kids, even tiny ones. She’ll be just fine for a night, I promise. We gotta do this.” 

You sighed and then nodded.

“Right,” you said. “You’re right, we do.” 

You held your arms out and Joel passed you Ellie before his lips brushed your temple, a motion that had become so commonplace over the last few weeks. You glanced at him quickly, eyes darting, as he pulled away from you and he flinched a little before grabbing your overnight bags and heading for the living room. 

That was a commonplace occurrence, too. The flinching when he touched you in some intimate, familiar way that seemed to go beyond the bounds of your previous relationship. 

You weren’t sure why he kept doing it. Kissing you, putting his hand on the small of your back when you were near, nuzzling into your hair. He always flinched some after, like these little sparks of closeness were nauseating. You had your theories as to why, of course. He’d told you little of Sarah’s mother but it sounded like she had been around for at least the early days of her daughter’s life. Maybe he was used to these tiny intimacies with a woman he was raising a child alongside, maybe the only way he was used to passing off a baby came with a gentle brush of his lips on skin. Or maybe he thought you needed it, that you were still so fragile even months after you’d shown up on his doorstep with a screaming infant and feeling like you were going to lose yourself if you weren’t careful that he needed to do things like touch you to keep you sane. 

But you wished he’d just stop. It didn’t help when you knew how much he apparently loathed it, it just stung. Even tempering it with the knowledge that he apparently cared enough for you to tolerate something he so clearly didn’t enjoy because he thought it was what you needed, it hurt. 

You and Joel had struck a delicate - if largely unspoken - balance since that first night. You’d all but moved in, Joel giving you two drawers and a corner of his closet, and you’d put a small bassinet in his room. The two of you took shifts overnight, switching out looking after Ellie when she stirred. Since UT’s school year ended a full month before Sarah’s did, you took over making breakfast and getting her out the door in the morning until she was on summer vacation and - now that summer break was in full swing - you watched her and you took care of Ellie while Joel was at work during the day. For all intents and purposes, you functioned like a couple. In all ways except one: you didn’t have sex again. 

You should probably be thankful for that, you knew. It wasn’t like you’d ever say no to him if he’d offered. Even if it destroyed you, you’d always fold the moment he touched you like he wanted you at all. The fact that it hadn’t happened since was a blessing. 

You tried to remind yourself of that when you were lying next to him at night and he didn’t touch you that way. Not that you expected him to at all, especially not with Ellie in the room but still. You wanted it. Longed for it. Ached for it, taking full advantage of what little privacy you got when in the shower or when Sarah was at a friend’s house and Ellie was down for a nap to fuck yourself hard and fast until you had to bite your lip to keep from moaning your best friend’s name. 

Because it was always Joel you thought of now. He was burned into you that way. The first time you’d ever touched yourself had been to the thought of Joel, back before you knew what kissing him and taking him into yourself would be. It had been a losing battle since you’d moved back to Texas, the proximity bringing him to mind so much faster now. Once you’d started dating Stephen, it felt almost like cheating when you made yourself come to the thought of someone else, even though you’d never talked about being exclusive in any sense, let alone in the world of fantasy. Still, you came hard to the thought of your best friend and dealt with the twinge of guilt after. You’d just hoped you’d be able to set this obsession down if you became serious about someone. 

The aftermath of sleeping with Joel again had proved, though, that you were going to be stuck here, feeling like this, for what seemed like forever. You cut things off with Stephen then, using Anna’s vanishing as an excuse to end things. Really, it was just because you couldn’t stomach pretending like it could go anywhere, like you wouldn’t spend your entire relationship wishing he was someone else. 

Since then, you’d thrown yourself into anything - everything - else you could use to distract yourself. Beyond caring for Ellie and Sarah, you’d made some progress on your next book, shifting the story to be about a family more than a romantic relationship. You’d helped Joel with a business plan for Miller Construction, the contracting company he was hoping to start. But, most importantly, you’d gotten some idea about where Anna might be. 

She was, at least, still alive. You’d been able to track down contact information for her sponsor after meeting her once and hearing Anna mention her first name a few times. Marlene had been reluctant to tell you much at all but did at least tell you that she was checking in with Anna daily. She seemed sober, apparently, and Marlene was encouraging her to seek some help but she hadn’t had any luck yet. 

“I shouldn’t tell you this,” she’d sighed when you called a few days earlier. “But she mentioned her ex today. I think she might be with him.” 

You’d all but flown into a panic at that, fighting to hold it together as you watched Sarah swim and you held Ellie carefully while you sat on the steps in the shallow end of the pool. Josh Williams was the worst possible fucking influence your sister could have. He’s who got her into drugs in the first place, their love affair had been a whirlwind even in the best of times. What would being around him do to her now, when she was cracking under the weight of motherhood and what you were certain was postpartum depression? 

“Goldie, take a breath,” Joel said that night after Sarah was in bed and he’d plied you with a margarita. “Here, gimme…” He held his hands out and you passed him the baby and he beamed at her for a moment, making her giggle, before he turned his attention back to you. “Drink more. Let’s think on it. When things went real bad for her, was she with Josh or was she on her own?” 

You sighed and took a sip of margarita. 

“On her own,” you said. “She definitely got into trouble with Josh but… he didn’t hurt her. Well, not like that.” 

“So she’s probably safe,” Joel said gently. “That’s good, that’s the important thing right now, right?” 

“Right,” you nodded and sighed again. “Jesus… So what do we do?” 

“Well,” Joel shifted Ellie and she cooed at him before he cooed back as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Lemme just…” He typed something in, pressing a kiss to little Ellie’s cheek as he did. “Alright, looks like that band of his is on tour and they’ll be in Dallas in a few days. We can go, talk to him, see if he knows where she is.” 

You nodded slowly, taking another drink. 

“If I can talk to her, I can see if I can get her to get some help,” you said. “Or at least come home… Even if we still keep Ellie for a while, if she was at least home…” 

“It’s progress, Goldie Girl,” Joel said gently, putting his phone back in his pocket and shifting Ellie again. “It’s a good thing. It is.” 

You drank a few margaritas there on his couch, watching Joel with Ellie. He seemed enraptured with her, making faces to pull little gummy smiles out of her chubby features and peppering her with kisses before coaxing her to sleep on his chest. 

“C’mon,” he said quietly after a while. “Let’s get this one to bed and then get you to bed. You need it.” 

That night was the closest the two of you came to fucking again. You were tipsy enough that Joel had to help keep you from stumbling between the bathroom and the bed, Ellie sleeping soundly in her crib as she had been the last few nights, the distance from her still oddly foreign to you. 

“Careful there,” he caught you. “How many’d you have?” 

“Enough, apparently,” you tried not to laugh, worried you’d wake up the baby. 

“I’ll say,” he said, walking you to the bed and lowering you to the mattress. “Alright, legs in baby.” 

You obeyed and he tucked the sheets around you before turning out the light and climbing into bed beside you. You rolled onto your side and nuzzled against him before he’d even gotten settled, making him laugh. 

“Forgot what a touchy feely drunk you are,” he teased. 

“Shut up,” you said, pressing yourself closer to him all the same. He laughed and then the two of you fit yourselves against each other, your body curving around his. 

“Know it’s not the best circumstances,” he said quietly after a minute. “But… I’m glad you’re here. That you’re not tryin’ to do this shit alone.” 

“Me too,” you said, moving somehow closer to him. His hold on you tightened, his nose nuzzling into your hair. Your lips ghosted over the warm skin of his throat. He groaned a little and your leg hitched over his thigh. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and you ground your hips against him.

“Goldie,” he said, a little breathless, pulling back from you enough to look you in the eye. “We… we shouldn’t…” 

You groaned in a way that was closer to a whine and his forehead dropped to yours. 

“You’re drunk,” he whispered. 

“Not that drunk,” you whispered back. 

“Drunk enough,” he said, closing his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “This… you still want this in the morning? We can talk about it. Or just forget about it. Whatever you want, but we can’t right now.” 

You fell asleep before too long, feeling achy and needy as you did, and woke up still in Joel’s arms with dawn slipping through the slats of his blinds. Joel was already awake, his large palm resting on the crown of your head, his thumb brushing a gentle trail over your forehead. You looked at him for a moment, memorizing the planes of his face, the scruff on his cheeks, the way his hair was mussed first thing in the morning. 

“She still asleep?” You asked quietly, eventually. 

“Yeah,” he said, just as quiet. “Don’t know that she’s ever slept this late but checked the monitor a little while ago, she’s still breathin’…” 

“That’s good,” you smiled a little. Your stomachs were pressed together, your t-shirt had ridden up in the night so your skin was against his and he was so warm, the heat of him seeping out and spreading over you. 

“Goldie…” he whispered, his face drawn and so close to yours and your heart lurched in your chest. “I can’t…” 

Ellie’s sharp little cry made you both jump, like you’d forgotten for a moment about the little life in the next room that was completely dependent on the two of you. 

“I got ‘er,” Joel said, quickly pulling himself from you and all but running to Ellie’s room. 

The two of you didn’t talk about it again. 

You carried Ellie to the kitchen, Sarah perched on a counter as Tommy made a huge plate of nachos. 

“And we can watch movies and stay up late and…” 

“Just because I’m gonna be out of town for a night don’t mean that all the rules are out the window, baby girl,” Joel said, a small smile on his face all the same. 

“Hey,” Tommy said. “How late she stays up and what junk food we eat while she does it is none of your concern when you ain’t here, old man.”

“Yeah Dad,” Sarah smirked, leaning over and swiping a chip from Tommy’s plate. “You leave Uncle Tommy in charge? You get what you get.” 

“Lord,” Joel sighed, still smiling. “Such a bad influence on my kid…” 

“S’why you love me,” Tommy smirked before winking at you. “Alright, let me see the tiny one, c’mon.” 

You gave Ellie a kiss on her chubby cheek before passing her off to Tommy and he beamed at her. 

“There’s the cutest baby in the world,” he held her with his large hands around her waist, lifting her to blow a raspberry as best he could on her onesie covered stomach. Ellie giggled and he held her to his chest. “There, now I got the important stuff all set. You two get out of here, try to have fun…” 

“Not goin’ for fun,” Joel said, almost like a reprimand. 

“I know,” Tommy said, still calm. “But still. You two have had your hands full lately. Have a damn drink at least.” 

You stepped in before Joel had a chance to try to pick a fight with his brother. 

“You know how to hold her when she has her bottle?” You asked. “And where the extra diapers are in case the ones in the changing table drawers run out? And…” 

“I got ‘er,” Tommy said gently. “And I got your numbers if I need ‘em. Which I won’t.” 

You nodded, not fully able to shake the knot that had settled in your stomach at the thought of leaving Ellie with anyone but yourself or Joel. At the thought of being alone with Joel, no buffer of Ellie or Sarah that had been there ever since you’d slept together again. 

“Thank you for doin’ this,” Joel said earnestly. “It means a lot.” 

“One day, I’ll have kids and I’ll need you to watch ‘em when I want to get my girl out of town,” Tommy said. “Better believe I’m cashing in.” 

You and Joel stopped at a gas station on the way out of town, filling up your car and grabbing snacks from the convenience store and delaying the inevitable awkward silence when the two of you were alone with nothing else to distract you. 

It felt like the two of you were halfway to fucking Waco when Joel finally spoke. 

“You think she’ll be there?” He asked. 

You sighed. 

“I don’t know. I hope so, I hope we can get to her and that she’ll listen and…” 

You ground your teeth for a moment before looking over to him. Joel was driving - it never mattered that it was your car, Joel always drove, it had been like that even when you were teenagers - and there was something so reassuring about him being behind the wheel. 

“Is this stupid?” You asked. “Am I going about this the wrong way?” 

He glanced over to you, looking you up and down before turning his eyes back to the road. 

“I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to do this,” he said after a moment. “It’s… it’s a shit situation. I just don’t want you gettin’ your hopes up too much is all.” 

“They’re not,” you said quickly. “God, even if she is there, it’s still going to be a fucking mess…” 

“It is,” Joel said. “But you’ll help her through it. You’re real good at that shit.” 

You scoffed. 

“What?” He said. “You are. You’ve been doin’ a great job, Goldie girl. That’s not going to change because Anna actually comes back - or doesn’t.” 

You nodded slowly, looking out the window again, trying not to think about whether you were more afraid that Anna would be at the concert tonight or that she wouldn’t be. 

“Think you’re ready to throw a pool party for a bunch of preteen girls?” You asked, giving him a little smile. 

“Lord,” he laughed once. “No. But thanks for helpin’ plan it all the same. Sarah’s so damn excited, rivals the fuckin’ concert…” 

“Your list is coming along,” you smiled a little wider him.

“Speaking of our lists,” he teased, glancing your way. “How’s that book of yours comin’ along?” 

“Good, shockingly enough,” you said. “You’re in this one, too. Well, kind of you, it’s not like I named the character Joel but…” 

“I am?” He asked, brows raised. You nodded and then he frowned. “Wait, too? What do you mean, too?” 

Your face fell before you could stop it, your eyes going wide. 

“Goldie,” he said, glancing toward you. “What’d you mean, too? Was I in your first book?” 

“OK, don’t start that,” you said. “Come on, I… Look, alright? My first book was more of a coming of age thing and you were my best friend so… yeah, OK, you might have influenced a character a little. Just a bit. That’s all, it’s nothing crazy…” 

Your heart was racing but Joel just smiled, broad enough that it made the corners of his eyes crinkle. 

“Didn’t know I meant so much to you, Goldie Girl,” he teased. 

“Don’t read into it,” you rolled your eyes. “Literally, please don’t read it…” 

“Pretty sure it’s above my reading level, anyway,” he winked.

You glared at him. 

“I hate you,” you said. 

“I know,” he smiled, glancing over at you. “S’why we get along so well.” 

The two of you fell into your usual, comfortable familiarity after that, joking and laughing and singing along to the songs from the playlist Joel made for the drive, you trying to forget about the fact that you were only making this drive to try to save your sister from herself. 

The room Joel had booked for you this time was not nearly as nice as the one from the Taylor Swift weekend - not that you were arguing. Putting the two of you in one hotel room right now felt like tempting fate as it was, let alone one that could be mistaken for romantic. But still, you were disappointed when he opened the motel door to a room with two queen sized beds instead of just one king. 

“Figured you could use some space from me since we don’t gotta listen to a baby monitor all night,” Joel said, carrying the bags in. He dropped your duffle on the bed furthest from the door and checked his watch. “Should probably head out in about an hour if you want to get something to eat first…” 

You nodded, fidgeting with your necklace, feeling Joel’s eyes on you. 

“Well,” Joel said, his voice a little awkward. “Think I’ll… I’ll just… take a nap. Keep my eyes closed. So you can get changed and shit if you need.” 

“Right,” you smiled tightly. “Thanks.” 

“Yup,” he said, lying flat on his back on his bed, his forearm over his eyes as you started going through your bag. 

You checked in with Tommy, already missing Ellie, before you got changed into something that was good for a rock concert. Well, you thought it was, anyway - this was always your sister’s territory - and did your hair and makeup so that you had a shot of trying to talk your way backstage to talk to Josh. Hopefully. Maybe. 

When you gently shook Joel awake he stared at you for a moment, blinking with a look on his face that you couldn’t quite place. 

“You really passed out,” you teased, fighting that awkward feeling in the pit of your stomach. 

“Yeah,” he shook his head quickly, like he was shaking off the sleep. “Guess so. C’mon Goldie, let’s go see if we can find Anna.”

***

There had to be more Joel could be doing to help you. He was sure there was something he was fucking missing because there had to be something he could do beyond twiddling his fucking thumbs, waiting in line to get into a small concert venue in Dallas on a Saturday night. 

You were twisting your hands around on themselves, lower lip between your teeth as you tried to peer around the line as though you’d have any chance of seeing any of the bands right now. 

“Is this dumb?” You asked eventually, looking at Joel with wide eyes. “I’m worried this is a stupid fucking idea…” 

“How else were you gonna get ahold of the guy?” He asked gently. “You didn’t have his number, it’s not like you can find him in the damn phonebook. You came to him. It’s what you had to do. You have to try, right?” 

You took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. 

“Right,” you said. “You’re right.” 

The words didn’t match your expression, still worrying your lip between your teeth, still knotting your fingers and Joel wondered yet again what the fuck he was missing. It had to be something, there had to be something he could do to make your life easier because, fuck, why was he even here if he couldn’t?

Ever since you’d all but moved into his house, you’d done nothing but improve his life. Sure, you came with an infant and she was nothing if not a challenge but Joel liked having another kid around to take care of. Thrived on it, really. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed Sarah’s newborn days until he was faced with Ellie’s. 

Joel had been so alone then, drowning in the state of his life, in his new identity as Sarah’s father, in the weight of the future heavy in his hands whenever he held his baby girl. It had been hard to really enjoy that time. He knew he’d want to remember it, the way her little legs tucked up into her stomach and the way her nose scrunched when she first woke up - something she still did now if he woke her up abruptly from a deep enough sleep - but it had been a conscious thing. Remember it because he should, because he knew he’d want to keep these parts of his daughter close, not because it came naturally. 

He wondered, sometimes, in hindsight, if there was something wrong with him for that. If he wasn’t a good enough father because his mind had been elsewhere in his daughter’s earliest days, if some vital piece of him was broken because he hadn’t taken naturally to that part of fatherhood even though he loved her more than he realized any human being could love another. 

With Ellie, though, he knew he wasn’t broken. He’d just been so overwhelmed by everything else that the best parts of fatherhood hadn’t found their way to him yet. Now, though, it seemed like he had everything he needed. There was Sarah, you, a new little life that needed care and guidance and love. He felt like he had purpose and so much of that was thanks to you. 

And of course, once you came into yourself again with Ellie, you’d started doing what you always did: make things better. Of course, you just being there would have made things better. But you stepped right into loving his daughter like she was your own. He’d come home from a job site and find you in the yard with the girls, a makeshift soccer goal set up, Ellie in her bouncer in the shade, you in the goal to give Sarah a chance to practice shooting. 

“Dad, look!” She’d yell before Joel even got the door all the way open on the truck. 

“I’m watchin’,” he’d smile and look over her head to you and you’d give him a wink. And he did watch as Sarah dribbled the ball toward you and faked out her kick, making you go one way while the ball went the other. 

“See?” She beamed, her smile huge. “I’m going to score so many goals next season!” 

“You really are,” he kissed her forehead. “Great job, baby girl!” 

You helped him with his business plan. You gave him an audience while he practiced playing guitar with a plan to go talk to Jimmy and see if he’d let him play at the bar again, like he did when he was young. You’d kick him playfully as the two of you sat on opposite ends of the couch with your legs overlapping his in the middle, just like you had when you were kids. You made him dinner and made him laugh and made him want to kiss you so bad he wondered if it was possible to explode with wanting. 

You did so much for him. Why couldn’t he figure out a goddamn way to give it back to you? 

The venue finally opened and you laced your fingers with Joel’s as you worked your way through the press of people, trying to make it close to the stage. 

“This is so weird,” you said, looking back over your shoulder to Joel, standing at your back. “What do we do? Dance? Pretend this is a regular concert? Do we get a beer?” 

“If you want a beer, Goldie, I’ll get you one,” Joel smiled a little. “I think it’s fine if we just stand here until they come on and try and get his attention when they do. But… well, if you feel like you can have a good time, I think you should.” 

Your face pinched at that, like you thought maybe you shouldn’t even consider something as insignificant as your own happiness. 

“Think this’ll be easier with a drink,” he said, making an executive decision. Maybe having fun when trying to track down your sister when she was fuck knows where and left you with her infant daughter was insane but fuck it, being miserable while doing it wasn’t making it any easier. “Be back.” 

You looked like you were about to protest but he slipped away from you and into the people starting to press into the pit, working his way against the flow of bodies to the bar. He got himself a whiskey soda and you a vodka sour because that’s what you’d get with your fake ID when the two of you would sneak into places like this when you were kids. He smiled a little, thinking about that as he went to find you again, how you’d pretended like it wasn’t really breaking the rules since you were just helping Joel do research for how to break into the music business. You’d smile at him, your eyes so bright from the stage lights and say “Someday, that’ll be you up there” and he thought - even then - that you might be the best thing he’d ever seen. 

Joel was working his way back through the crowd to you, living in that time long past for a moment, when he saw you toward the front of the pit. But he didn’t have a chance to really enjoy the sight of you all decked out in your concert clothes. Instead, there was a man next to you, his hand on the small of your back as you leaned away from him and Joel’s blood got hot. 

“…just for a little while,” the man was saying, trying to step closer to you. 

“No thanks,” you said, your tone sharp. 

“C’mon, we’ll get you a drink and…” 

“Hey,” Joel said, stopping right behind the man, crowding his space. The guy was tall but not as tall as Joel and he had to tilt his head back to look him in the face. “You botherin’ my girl?” 

The man’s eyes darted to you before going back to Joel. 

“She didn’t…” the man began before puffing himself up, straightening his spine as much as he could. But the top of his head still only reached Joel’s eyes and he quickly deflated. “Look man, all she had to do was say she had a boyfriend and I would’ve backed off, alright? Think your problem is with your girl…” 

“No,” Joel said, jaw tight. “My problem’s with you. Don’t matter if she’s got a boyfriend or not, she says she ain’t interested? She ain’t interested. Learn some fuckin’ respect. Or do you need me to teach you?” 

The man looked Joel up and down, like he was weighing his chances. Joel just stood his ground. He wasn’t about to let this asshole just touch you without permission. An excuse to hit him would be welcome. 

“Fuckin’ asshole,” the guy muttered, turning to go. Joel watched him leave before turning back to you and handing you your drink. 

“You alright?” He asked. 

“Fine,” you said, watching him closely. “Thank you for that. He just was not backing off. I forgot what it’s like to go to places like this and deal with guys like that…” 

“Shouldn’t have to deal with guys like that,” Joel said, clenching his jaw. “Fuckin’ asshole should know how to take a no. But probably shouldn’t leave you unattended again, apparently the second I walk away some jackass swoops in…” 

You laughed a little and rolled your eyes as the crowd started cheering and you turned to face the stage as the opener came out. Joel slipped his hand around your waist to your stomach, his fingers splaying wide over the satin fabric of your shirt and he wanted to touch the silk of your skin below and he tried not to think about that. He tugged you back against him and you frowned, looking over your shoulder to him. 

“To be safe,” he said in your ear. “Keep other assholes’ hands off ya.” 

You smiled a little and Joel held you close as the first two bands played, your back pressed tightly against his front. The more of your cocktail you drank, the more you moved almost absently to the music and Joel had to focus to not get lost in you. 

It was easier to remember exactly what the two of you were doing here when the headlining band - Josh’s band - took the stage. The crowd became deafening when they came out and you grabbed Joel’s arm when the guitarist jogged to his place under the lights. 

“That’s Josh!” You yelled over your shoulder to Joel. 

He evaluated the man quickly. Your brother-in-law was on the other side of the stage, stocky and shorter than Joel’d expected him to be, in ripped jeans and a tight gray t-shirt, a guitar strapped across his body. He lifted the neck of it and played the first chord, the lead singer running out and taking the mic. 

“C’mon,” Joel said, keeping his grip on you and trying to guide you through the crush of people toward the other side of the stage, hoping that Josh would see you and recognize you in the crowd. “Try and get closer.” 

It took some time, a few songs passing before the two of you could make it over there and even then, getting to the very front of the pit was basically impossible, fans pressed tight to the barricades and reaching for the band. 

Still, it didn’t stop you from trying to get his attention, your arms up over your head and screaming his name. When he thought the set might be winding down and Josh still hadn’t acknowledged you, Joel started looking for where to take you to try to get back stage and, when the band left the stage and you deflated, he took your hand. 

“C’mon,” he said. “Think we can try and get to ‘em this way…” 

He tugged you along behind him, keeping a tight hold on you as he led you to a side door. He jiggled the handle but it was locked. 

“Shit,” you swore, looking back to where people were leaving. 

“Any security?” Joel asked, voice low. 

You frowned and looked around for a moment. 

“No, but…” 

He grimaced but forced the handle down with all his weight, the old lock popping. 

“Did you just break the door?” You asked quietly, brows raised. 

Joel shrugged. 

“You gotta do what you gotta do,” he said, ushering you through it and quickly pulling it shut behind him. 

“Now where?” You whispered it even though there was no one around to hear you. 

“Uh,” he looked around, trying to remember where he thought the green rooms would be as he looked down the hall. “This way, I think.” 

He led you down the cinderblock passage, things getting louder as he did - a good sign, he thought. And then, he turned a corner and walked smack into a security guard. 

“Sorry,” Joel said quickly, tucking you behind him and hoping the guy would forget it and move on. 

No such luck. 

“You two supposed to be back here?” The guard asked, looking you and Joel up and down. “Show me your passes.” 

“We don’t have any,” you said, stepping out from behind Joel before he could stop you. “But I’m trying to talk to Josh Williams from Shine Anthem, he’s my brother-in-law and…” 

“Don’t really give a shit who you say you are,” the guard said, reaching for Joel. “You can’t just come back here so I’m going to have to ask you to…” 

Joel was trying to figure out some kind of plan when he heard your name being called from behind you and then the man from the stage was there, running up and damn near tackling you, bending low to tuck his shoulder into your chest so he could lift you into a hug as you yelped. 

He put you down quickly, though, a broad smile on his face and a glassy look in his eyes. 

“You didn’t tell me you were coming!” He beamed, looking you up and down. “Should’ve called! I’d have gotten you tickets and passes and shit instead of you hangin’ out out there with everyone else!” 

“Well, it’s not like I had your number,” you said, a little incredulous as Josh leaned around you to the guard. 

“They’re good,” Josh said to him. “This is my girl’s sister! She never fuckin’ visits, this is great!” 

You turned to Joel, a look of almost total disbelief on your face as Josh threw an arm around your shoulders and started guiding you down the hall. Joel just shrugged at the security guard and followed, you looking back over your shoulder to make sure he was still there. 

“She didn’t say anything about you coming, either,” he said, an almost odd familiarity to his tone. From what Joel knew, you’d only spent a little time with your sister’s husband, it wasn’t as though the two of you were close. “Could’ve called her, too! She can always get ahold of me, always answer the phone for that girl…” 

“Have you seen her?” You asked. “Because…” 

“Seen her?” He laughed. “She’s here! It’s like old times, s’been great! God I love that girl. She’s with the guys right now, nice to have her around again…” 

“She’s here?” You stopped and turned to stare at him. “Right now?” 

“Yeah!” He said brightly. “This is great, a regular family reunion! She’ll be so excited to see you, she’s always saying she wishes you’d come back home more. Who’s this guy, by the way? Not your husband, he’s that old dude, right?” 

“This is my friend Joel,” you said quickly before trying to refocus him. “Josh, I need to see Anna. Right now.” 

“Alright, alright,” he said, stopping outside a heavy metal door and turning to Joel. “You party? Because we can do shit up, I know this one’s not usually down but…” 

“We’re not here to fucking party, Josh!” You snapped. “I need to see Anna! Right now!” 

“OK!” He put his hands up and gave Joel a look as if to say ‘women, right?’ before opening the door. “She’s right here.”

The space was smaller than Joel had been expecting. Maybe he had idealized expectations for a rockstar’s green room since he’d once dreamed of being one but this one was small, with a few couches that were crowded with people, the air clouded with acrid smoke so thick he couldn’t help but cough. 

“Ahhh!” Anna threw her arms in the air in glee from the corner of one of the couches, where she was perched on the lap of some other band member. “My sister’s here! Look, guys, it’s my big sister!” 

Joel clenched his jaw and looked over to you, ready to help you if you needed it. The look on your face was hard for him to place, your expression so strangely foreign. Of all the faces Joel knew, he knew yours maybe best of all - Sarah the only exception. He knew how you looked when you were lost in thought, when you were about to cry, when you were coming, when you laughed so hard you cried. But you were so rarely angry that he didn’t recognize it, not at first. 

But your eyes narrowed and your hands curled into fists at your sides and for a moment, just a moment, Joel thought you were going to scream. 

But you didn’t. Instead, you steeled yourself and marched purposefully, forcefully, over to your sister. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You asked, standing over her. “This is what you’re doing? You’re here, partying with your ex-husband and the guys you used to fuck around with while I’m home with your daughter?” 

The room had gone silent, Anna staring up at you with wide eyes. 

“Daughter?” Josh said quietly and Joel looked over at him. He was staring at Anna in disbelief and disappointment. “Wait, you had a kid? When…” 

“You didn’t even tell him?” You scoffed at her. “Of course you wouldn’t, why would you? Why would you ever consider anyone but yourself in your decision making process? You never have before! Hell, you never even really think of yourself, do you? Not your future self, not the person you really need to be worried about because if you did, you wouldn’t be fucking high right now!” 

“I’m not high!” She got up quickly, stumbling a little as she did. 

“Bullshit you’re not high,” you snapped. “Look at you!” 

“I’m not…” She lowered her voice, as though that would make much difference in a room as quiet and small as this one. “It’s just some pot, OK? It’s not like…” 

“Oh, because you’re not snorting anything or injecting anything, it doesn’t count?” You asked, brows raised, incredulous. “Because this isn’t the first step to you ending up back in the hospital after you OD again or worse, just dead somewhere?” 

“You ODed?” Josh said weakly, going over to her, running his fingers through her hair. “Baby, you never told me this, why didn’t you tell me this?” 

“It was last year,” she said. “You were touring, it wasn’t that bad…” 

“She almost died,” you said to Josh. “And she had been sober until you came along, so congratulations on dragging her down yet again.” 

You turned your attention back to your sister. 

“Were you ever planning on coming home?” You asked. “Or were you going to just party like a goddamn teenager without a care in the world until you wound up dead?” 

Anna just stared down at her hands and you shook your head. 

“I should have fucking known.” 

You stalked off without another word, slamming the door behind you as you went. 

The room was awkwardly silent for a moment, Josh looking at Joel apologetically. 

“I didn’t know,” he said quietly, his eyes wide, all the casual familiarity gone. Instead, he was almost uncomfortably earnest and almost sad. “I never would have… I didn’t know.” 

Joel looked back toward the door for a moment before he sighed and looked at Josh again. 

“We’re here ’til the morning,” he said. “Gimme your phone.” 

Josh handed it over and Joel typed his number into a text message before sending himself a message that had the name and address of the hotel you were at with the room number. He gave the phone back before he turned to Anna. 

“She loves you,” Joel said. “And she loves Ellie. You should come home.” 

She sniffed but just turned her head, looking away from him. 

“Right,” Joel said. “Well… Should know Ellie misses you. And we’ll be at that hotel until 11 a.m. tomorrow.” 

He had to run to catch up with you, finding you standing outside with tears in your eyes as you paced. 

“Hey,” Joel said and you looked at him, quickly drying your eyes on the insides of your wrists. “You alright?” 

“No,” you sniffed. “No, I just fucked everything up, I shouldn’t have done that, who knows what…” 

“Hey,” Joel cut you off, pulling you into his chest. “S’OK.” 

“Easy for you to say,” you said, voice muffled by his shirt. 

He sighed, holding you for a moment, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“C’mon,” he said, giving you a squeeze. “Let’s go back to the hotel. Pick up some beer on the way.” 

You checked in with Tommy on the way and Joel tried to keep his distance from you once the two of you got back to the hotel room and you’d calmed down a little. He’d gotten the two damn beds for a reason and it wasn’t because he wanted to be apart from you. It was because he knew that things between the two of you had gotten too close since you’d shown up on his doorstep with Ellie in your arms. Even if the sex had never happened, it was too much like being with you, going through life with you the way he had been. It couldn’t continue, not without destroying him. 

So Joel stayed on his bed and you stayed on yours, a six pack on the night stand in the middle and he cursed the pretext of it. The space was smart, he knew that. But goddamn, couldn’t he just hold you as long as you’d let him? Couldn’t he just live in that liminal place for as long as he could manage it? Wouldn’t the damage be worth it in the end if he did? He didn’t know. He just stayed on his bed, finding some stupid action movie with a bad TV edit to put on, one where the dialogue choices were bad enough that you were laughing so hard that you spilled beer on your bedspread. 

“Oh shit,” you swore, putting the now nearly empty bottle on the nightstand and jumping up to run to the bathroom and grab towels. Joel joined you, mopping up the mess as best you could. “God, so much for having one night where I don’t end up covered in something. If it’s not spit-up at home it’s beer here…” 

“At least this didn’t end up in your hair,” Joel smiled a little and you laughed. 

“Yeah, thank god for small miracles. And at least it’s just my bed so you don’t have to deal with it, too.” 

“You don’t need to deal with it, either,” he said before he even thought about it. “You can just sleep in my bed.”

Not that he really needed to think about it. 

“You don’t need to do that,” you waved him off. “I’ve already taken over half your bed at home, you deserve your space. I’ll be fine sleeping in spilled beer for a night.” 

“Goldie, c’mon,” he said, realizing just how close he was standing to you. How easy it would be to kiss you. “This ain’t some frat house, not about to just make you sleep in that shit.” 

You bit your lower lip, uncertain, and he had to fight the urge to tug that soft flesh from between your teeth. He wanted to bite that lip, kiss it, run his thumb over it. 

“What?” He asked, desire edging into his voice whether he wanted it to or not. 

“What about distance?” You asked quietly, breathily. 

“Distance is overrated,” he said, tightening his hold on the towels so he wouldn’t grab you and kiss you the way he was so fucking desperate to do. 

He tried to make himself calm down in the few minutes you were in the bathroom, getting changed into pajamas and setting the beer-soaked towels out to dry. He wished he could jerk off because that might be the only thing that actually put him back inside his own goddamn head for a moment. Maybe he could once you were asleep, just lock himself in the bathroom and fuck his hand to the memory of you and try to keep your name off his tongue when he came. 

But that wouldn’t help now as he watched you cross the room in the little shorts and tank top you’d brought to sleep in, all but mesmerized by the bounce of your breasts when free of your bra when you walked or the way the soft cotton of your bottoms just skimmed the edge of your ass and he could see the swell of flesh there, almost out of sight, almost out of reach, close enough to tempt but far enough to not belong to him. 

“I really didn’t mean to put you out again,” you said as you climbed into bed beside him. “I really didn’t mean to the first time, either… In case I haven’t said it, I think I owe you my life for everything you’ve done for me and Ellie. I would have drowned in this alone.” 

“You’re not putting me out, Goldie girl,” he said, smiling a little. “Hell, it’s been nice, having the two of you around. Sarah’s been beggin’ me for a little sister since she could talk, think this is the closest she’s getting for a while…” 

You laughed a little and then sighed, leaning your head back against the headboard. 

“How bad do you think I fucked up with Anna?” You asked, watching him. 

He sighed. 

“I dunno… S’not like I know much about addiction or what she’s going through right now. But I can’t say I blame you for what you said. She knows you love her, that you want what’s best for her.” 

You sighed and looked down at your hands, picking at your thumbnail for a moment. 

“She’s the one who found our mom, did I ever tell you that?” 

“No,” Joel said quietly, watching you closely. 

“She did,” you nodded at your hands. “I can’t imagine what that would have been like for her. I only saw Mom after the funeral home had her, I didn’t have to… I wasn’t there for Anna after that. It’s no wonder she dropped out, found trouble, tried to take care of shit with drugs…” 

“That’s not on you,” Joel said. 

“Isn’t it?” You looked at him. “I was the big sister, I was who she had and I left her to cope with it alone and the first time I try to actually help her with something, I fuck that up, too.” 

“You were young,” Joel said. “Basically a kid.” 

“I was 20 years old,” you replied. “I was old enough to have a fiance and a career path and a life away from here. I could have moved back, I could have stepped up, I could have done something but I just…” 

“It’s not your job to take care of everybody, baby,” he said gently. 

“What if I fucked up so bad this time that she doesn’t come back?” You whispered. “What if she leaves Ellie with me forever and I can’t do it and…” 

You sniffed and looked back at your hands, a tear slipping down your cheek and Joel just tugged you against him, tucking you against his chest, kissing the crown of your head. 

“We’ll deal with it,” he said, tracing his fingertips along your hairline soothingly. “Whatever happens, I’ve got you. It’s OK.” 

You nodded wetly into his chest and he held you like that for a while, your body slowly molding to his until you were soft and warm and pressed entirely against him and your tears slowed. 

“You doin’ better?” He asked eventually and you nodded against him, sitting up and sniffling a little. He smiled, reaching out and trying your tears with a swipe of his thumb, your cheek fitting against his palm. “See? Not so bad.” 

“No,” you smiled a little back. “It’s not.” 

Your eyes were on his and he was so close to you, so close that he could almost touch your nose with his. 

So he did, moving ever so slightly closer so your skin was brushing his own. Your breath hitched when he did and instead of finding relief in the contact, it stoked a fire he hadn’t realized was burning, low and hot and sure, inside him. 

“Joel,” you breathed. “Please…” 

“It’s OK Goldie girl,” he said softly. “I’ve got you.” 

He kissed you then, the concept of distance so far at the back of his mind as he did, the spearmint of your toothpaste tinged with hops from the beer on your breath. 

It was hesitant at first. He wasn’t sure if it was just him holding back or if you were, too, but all pretense was gone almost immediately. You were twisting in the sheets, moving to face him, to put your arms around his neck and press yourself closer to him as his hands ranged over you, trying to touch as much of you as he could reach before you slipped through his fingers yet again. 

He pulled at your clothes, your mouth separating from his only long enough to get your shirts off, and you moaned into him, fingers fumbling with his pants, pulling the waistband down to free his already hard and aching cock. He palmed you through your shorts, your cunt so hot and wet he could feel it through the fabric and if he thought too long about what being inside you would feel like, he was going to come before he even had a chance to fuck you. 

Your hand wrapped around his length and you started working him, making him groan and you seemed hellbent on trying to move closer to him somehow, practically squirming as you worked yourself against his hand while pulling yourself toward him. 

“I’ve got you baby,” he said, breathless, as he tugged your shorts down, watching with rapt attention as your skin was revealed to him. You were glistening between your thighs and he groaned at the sight, tossing your shorts and panties aside before he teased your little, swollen clit. 

“Fuck,” you panted, closing your eyes for a moment. “Holy… I need…” 

“What?” He asked after a moment, working your clit harder. “What do you need, baby?” 

“You inside me,” your eyes opened again, your pupils blown. Your hips moved almost of their own accord against him and he moaned. “Please Joel, please, fuck, it hurts, I need…” 

“Take what you need,” he said, cock aching so bad he thought he might explode with hit. 

You just nodded before moving to straddle him. He sat back against the headboard and took your waist in his hands as your dripping slit brushed against his leaking head, his hips involuntarily jerking up toward you at the temptation of you there, hot and wet and wanting. 

Your eyes met his - so wide and vulnerable - before you lined him up with your grasping entrance and took him inside yourself in one, swift motion, 

He gasped at the feeling of it, how your velvet tightness made room for him inside of you, how your walls stretched over him, how you were so warm and soft inside, your wetness already making a mess of him. 

“Fuck, you feel good,” he breathed, watching you closely. “So goddamn good…” 

You just gave him a strangled little moan as you looked down between your bodies to where he was entering you, panting for breath. You rolled your hips against him, slowly and deliberately at first, pulling a groan from him that made him thankful you were in some shitty hotel room and not home where his daughter would hear him because he didn’t think he could stop it if he tried. He didn’t want to stop it. He wanted to let himself get lost in you and your body and your pleasure until the only thought left in his mind was you. 

You started to ride him in earnest then, your pace increasing, your clit finding his pubic bone and grinding against him there as he thrust up into you, finding those deep, soft places inside your tight heat, places that made your channel start to flutter over him in little shocks of pleasure. 

He watched as you stifled your moan as he hit one of those places inside of you and he pressed there deeper, harder, holding you to him for a moment before his thumb moved to your clit, working you in tight circles. 

“Want to hear you, baby,” he panted before kissing and sucking at the tender skin of your throat. “Don’t gotta be quiet here, lemme hear you.” 

You nodded quickly, desperately, and his hands ran up your back as you arched into him, fingers digging into your flesh, guiding you over him as you rode him hard and fast and he met you stroke for stroke. You moaned, your body tightening around him and he took one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and teasing and turning your moan into a needy little cry. 

“That’s it baby,” he panted against your skin. “Just take it. Come for me, make yourself come on my cock, c’mon.” 

Your movements became faster, more uncertain, your pussy so tight around him it would probably hurt in any other context but because it was you, like this, it was heaven. 

“Joel!” You cried, burying him deep inside as you exploded around him, your muscles throbbing over him. He held you close and tight and drank in the sight and sound of your pleasure for a moment before giving over to his own, coming hard and deep inside of you, rope after seemingly endless rope of his spend spilling into you. 

He held you close and tight like that as the two of you came back down from your shared high, buried inside you where it felt so much like he belonged he thought his heart might burst with it. 

Eventually, you sat back from him, your eyes searching his for a moment, a hint of panic at the edges. He ignored the sting in his chest that came with that and instead just cupped your cheek. 

“It’s OK baby,” he said softly. “I’ve got you.” 

You just watched him for another moment before you nodded and slowly, gently, pulled yourself away from him, settling against him on the bed. 

He had the fleeting thought that he should go, get a washcloth, clean the two of you up but he couldn’t bring himself to move, afraid if he lost this closeness with you now he might never get it back. Instead, he stayed there, trailing his fingers up and down your bare arm as he held you. 

“What are we doing?” You asked quietly, eventually. “We can’t keep doing this, Joel, we have responsibilities, we’re not teenagers anymore, there are kids involved now, we….” 

“Why do we have to be doing something?” He asked, adjusting so he could actually look at you. 

You pulled back from him, frowning a little. 

“What?” 

“Why can’t we just…” he paused, trying to find the words. Words he shouldn’t say but that he couldn’t seem to stop. “We’re basically living together. We have so much else goin’ on right now it’s not like we’re dating anyone. Why don’t we just…” 

He trailed off, hoping you’d fill in the rest. 

“Do you mean like…” You paused. “Friends with benefits or something?” 

“Yeah,” he said, even though calling you that felt so wrong that it was something like blasphemy. “Then we can just… do this when we need it. Don’t need to be a big deal, it can just…” 

“Right,” you said, looking from his face to his chest before nodding. “Yeah… That… we can try that. As long as you promise it won’t ruin things with us. I can’t lose you again, Joel. I just can’t.” 

“I know, baby,” he said quietly, kissing your forehead. “Can’t lose you, either.” 

“OK,” you said softly, nuzzling closer. “Friends.” 

“With benefits,” he said. 

“With benefits,” you said. 

The term felt so wrong that it took time to settle in him, reducing what he felt for you to something as simple as just friendship with sex. But there was something hopeful in him, too. Something that clung, vicious and hard, to the thought that he could have this with you, live in that place between worlds where he could pretend that you were his when he came home to you because he got to fit himself inside you every night. This, he thought, would be worth the destruction. 

He tried to dwell on the comfort of that as the two of you got packed the next morning, moving slowly but in sync with each other in the small room, one bed stained with beer and the other your indiscretions. 

Joel had given up hope that Anna would show - glad he hadn’t told you that he’d given Josh the room number so you wouldn’t be let down by it - when he carried your bags to the car in the morning but froze when he saw your brother-in-law standing outside an Uber, his arms crossed, watching the hotel room door. Joel just gave him a nod before going to put the bags in the trunk, Josh meeting him there. 

“Didn’t think you were comin’,” Joel said, closing the lid with a little too much force. 

Josh nodded slowly, staring at Joel’s feet. 

“Needed to talk things through with her first,” he said before meeting his eyes. “I didn’t know any of that shit, swear I didn’t. If I did, I wouldn’t have… I guess it doesn’t matter. I talked with her. She told me everything. I think everything, anyway.” 

Joel just nodded, giving him a chance to continue on his own terms. 

“I’m not good for her right now,” he said. “Shit, probably never was but I’m smart enough to know better now and I love her too much to let her get hurt because of me.” 

“So what are you going to do about it?” Joel asked. “Because saying that kind of shit don’t mean much if you just keep letting it happen.” 

“You’re right,” Josh said. “She’s in the car. She agreed to go home with you guys and go to rehab. Back to rehab, I guess.” 

Joel nodded again, looking toward the car, just making out the outline of Anna sitting in the back through the tinted window. 

“You’re doing the right thing,” Joel said. 

“Is she here?” Josh asked. Joel jerked his thumb toward the hotel room but Josh shook his head. “Not… I mean the baby. Ellie? Is she here?” 

“No,” Joel said. “She’s home, with my brother. He’s takin’ good care of her, he watched my daughter plenty when she was Ellie’s age.” 

Josh clenched his jaw but nodded anyway. 

“Probably for the best,” he said. “I’m not… I should figure my own shit out before I meet her. But I want to. I will. I’m going to.” 

Joel wasn’t sure he believed him but then, he’d done plenty to try to make himself worthy of being Sarah’s dad. Maybe Josh had it in him, too. 

“Joel, do you have the…” 

You fell silent as you came up beside him, one hand in your bag like you were looking for something, your mouth open in shock when you realized who he was standing with. 

“Hey sis,” Josh smiled awkwardly. 

“Hey,” you said quietly, eyes wide. 

“Anna’s in the car,” he said. “We talked. She’s going to head back with you, figure shit out.” 

“Yeah?” You asked, voice wet. 

“Yeah,” Josh said. “It’s… it’s the right thing. Just… don’t be too hard on her. She’s hurting.” 

“I won’t,” you said quickly. “I’m sorry I said what I did last night, I didn’t…” 

“It’s OK,” Anna said. Joel hadn’t even noticed her getting out of the car but she was there now, one arm crossed protectively over herself. “I know I didn’t give you much choice.” 

“Anna,” you breathed before all but throwing yourself at her, flinging your arms around her neck to pull her close. “I’m so glad you’re OK.” 

She laughed wetly as she hugged you back. 

“Yeah, me too.” 

Josh went to help her get her things from the Uber and you looked to Joel, drying your eyes on your wrists. 

“How’d you do it?” You asked quietly. 

He shrugged. 

“Don’t think I did much of anything at all,” he said, watching you closely. “Just told her the truth.” 

“Whatever you did,” you said, stepping closer to him. “Thank you.” 

You hugged him, your arms wrapping around him and he could feel every line of your body against his and he held you close. He couldn’t help but hold you close. 

“‘Course, baby,” he said. “Do anything for you.” 

He tried not to think about how true that was or how much that scared him as he gathered you up and took you and your sister home, where you belonged. 

Next Chapter

A/N: I'm so sorry this took an eternity to write. My carpel tunnel flared up something fierce and put me out of commission for a while. Thank you so much for being patient!

Goldie and Joel are doing... something. It's something. I promise they're getting somewhere, they really are! There are just a few more bumps in the road until they do. I just really love writing these two as they work through these long-held assumptions and insecurities! Thank you for wanting to be there for it.

Love you!

Taglist: @kaseyconnour

[its-time-to-write]

Final one for today

This one is a little odder but I feel like a single parent story would be great for Jamie

Like maybe reader is a single parent and is out in the park where the child is playing alone with a football (maybe trying to do some tricks) and accidentally kicks it to far and it hits Jamie (Who maybe is jogging by) jamie brings it over and does some tricks and the kid is like omg can you show me how to do that! reader is like embarrassed but Jamie is like sure so they spend a bunch of time playing football. The kid is a fan of Richmond but tickets are expensive so Jamie invites them to a game (Free) and they get to meet the team and it becomes a regular thing

Jamie is trying to work up the nerve to ask out Reader (He has never dated someone with kids before) and he doesn't want to mess up the relationship finally the child is like please ask my parent out!

I can't wait to see what you do with these!!

Here’s another one that I’ve been sitting on forever! Finally got around to it. And in case you couldn’t tell, I freakin love Keeley Jones. I think she’s great. Enjoy!

if only love were true

Thank god that Keeley Jones is your friend and she promised you’d never have to go stag to a work function.

“Keeley,” you say over the phone, “I need you to be my date for this fancy dinner/gala/thing I have for work next Sunday. I absolutely cannot go alone.”

“Next Sunday?” she says. “Let me check my calendar.”

You wait a moment as she presumably scrolls through her phone, checking her availability.

“Sorry babes,” she says after a long moment, “I’ve got a work thing too. Otherwise I’d totally be down to go as your hot trophy date.”

You groan. “Is there any way you can get out of it? Out of all the things I’ve taken you to, this is the one I need you at the most.” 

Keeley’s silent. You can tell she’s thinking. She knows why this one is important.

“Alright,” she says finally. “I can’t go, but what if I sent you with a friend of mine?” She continues loudly over your beginning protests. “He’s really sweet and fit and funny, and he owes me favors pretty much for the rest of his life. You’d have a great time I SWEAR.”

“I don’t know,” you say. “Do you think he can go along with everything? There’s a 50/50 chance it’ll be a shitshow.”

“Absolutely,” Keeley replies without hesitation. “He’s fucking great. Can be a bit of a prick sometimes, but he’s learned how to use those skills for the greater good.”

“Uh huh,” you say. “Right. I’m trusting you on this one, Keels. If he’s as good as you say, I’ll take him. But I really, really need this to be good.”

“Trust me,” she says, “You won’t regret it.”

—

Jamie Tartt arrives at your doorstep, fully briefed by Keeley as to his responsibilities. 

Be a gentleman, make her laugh, don’t fucking leave her with Harry.

Keeley showed him pictures of Harry’s instagram so Jamie would know exactly who he is on the lookout for.

It’s funny and it’s weird, but he’s not uncomfortable standing at the door, waiting for some woman he doesn’t even know. He’d do anything for Keeley, well aware that if she’s asking a favor, it’s for a good cause.

This is far out of his usual realm of expertise, but he reminds himself that he’s a person outside of being a footballer. A regular person would be a blind date for a friend of a friend at an awful work function.

Right?

Jamie doesn’t have time to dwell on the normality of this situation because the door is opening and you’re standing in front of him in some long gown that he swears outshines the stars.

“Hi,” you say. “It’s nice to meet you. Sorry about this.”

You call a goodbye down the hall before shutting the door. Jamie assumes it’s to a flatmate or something, whoever the owner of the other car in the driveway is. He just smiles. 

“I’ve had weirder dates,” he says. “Don’t worry about a thing, love. Tonight’s gonna be fucking mint.” He offers you his arm.

You take it and feel yourself relax. It’ll be fine.

—

It is not fine.

Harry’s there, and god help you if you don’t want to kick him where it hurts. He’s surrounded by girls, shining that far-too dazzling smile and you’re pretty sure you’re going to throw up. Your grip on Jamie’s arm tightens, and he follows your gaze to your ex-flame.

“He’s fucking old,” Jamie comments.

“Yeah, well, that’s kind of how he gets you,” you reply. “Acts all charming and smart and shit and then next thing you know, you’re in his bed. Soon as that’s over, you’re done.”

“Twat,” Jamie responds with such conviction that you chuckle a little, despite yourself. That is, until Harry sees you and sheds his little entourage as he makes his way over.

“Shit,” you whisper. “How do I look?”

“Fuckin’ gorgeous,” Jamie replies without missing a beat.

The words are barely out of his mouth when Harry is upon you, leaning in for a hug that Jamie doesn’t allow. You’re grateful for his block as he pretends he was going for a handshake. You don’t want Harry touching you and the sentiment is reinforced as he gives you a once-over and says, “Didn’t expect to see you here, darling. What, are you neglecting your duties for the evening?”

That sentence must have some hidden meaning, because your teeth are bared and it’s gone over Jamie’s head.

“My duties,” you say through clenched teeth, “include being here at this gala because we both work for the same company.”

Harry tilts his head in mock sympathy. “Yes, but if I recall your priorities have… shifted.”

Jamie might be losing circulation in his arm and he may not know exactly what is happening here, but he knows enough. Keeley told him Harry was a right git without really saying why, but he is in no need of an explanation. In fact, he thinks that “a right git,” is too much of a compliment.

Harry turns his attention toward Jamie. “Has she told you?”

Jamie doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but he’ll be damned if he lets this prick win.

“Yes,” he replies forcefully.

Harry raises his eyebrows. “Ah, and that’s not a dealbreaker?”

Jamie shakes his head. 

“How…progressive of you,” Harry replies, meaning the exact opposite. “You see, I wouldn’t want someone who… well, you know.”

Jamie’s about to say, “No, I don’t know,” and also maybe punch Harry when more people come up, demanding your attention. As you both turn away, Harry calls, “Let me know when you get tired of the immaturity and need a real man. My bed is always open to you.”

Your face is bright red and you think you’re going to bolt. Jamie starts like he’s going to fight Harry and for a moment you wonder if Keeley sent him because he’s a little bit feral. 

Unfortunately for Harry and fortunately for you, he spoke a bit too loudly. 

You’ll find out later that he was heard by some higher-ups and removed from the premises. However, since that information is not made available to you until the next day, you spend the rest of the evening looking over your shoulder for Harry’s reappearance.

Jamie, god bless him, is a wonderful date. He goes the whole nine-yards, holding your hand, tucking your hair behind your ear, cracking jokes with you and others at your table. He’s making you look good, and feel relaxed in the process. By the end of the night you’re feeling confident and have made a good impression on several people on the board. 

You have new opportunities at your disposal, as well as a potential promotion. You put a reminder in your phone to send Keeley some daisies as a thank-you. You’ll send something for Jamie as well.

—

He walks you to your door, ever the gentleman. You thank him profusely for the night, and tell him you’ll be rooting for him next time Richmond has a match. He grins. “You a fan?” he asks.

You laugh. “Yeah, I am. Used to go to every match till… well, I just don’t get out much anymore.”

Jamie grins. “We’ll have to change that, darling.”

Darling. 

He says it so differently than Harry. It’s all… bubbly. Not condescending, not designed to make you feel small. 

“Good night, Jamie,” you say. 

—

You don’t really expect to see (or hear from) Jamie again, except you do. Because he’s texting you.

The content varies, from messages passed on from Keeley to gifs to memes to weird little stories from training. You think you’d like his coaches, even Roy. It already felt like you knew them from all their interviews that you’ve seen, but hearing the behind-the-scenes snippets solidifies the feeling even more. Your chatting is regulated to the early morning and your lunch breaks, as you’re not much of an evening person anymore.

Jamie doesn’t seem to mind, he’s up early to do extra training with Roy and you’re up early to prepare for the day. You enjoy hearing from him at 6am on the dot every morning.

Saturdays are nice, because you don’t have work. Keeley comes over sometimes, but today you’re on the Richmond Green. You’re sitting on a bench, watching a boy kick a small football. You’re so completely absorbed in the way he’s running back and forth that you are startled when a shadow casts over your face.

“Fancy seeing you here,” says a distinctly Mancunian voice.

“Jamie!” you exclaim. “What’re you doing here?”

Jamie points to his trainers. “Going for a quick run. Roy’s out of town, but he still makes me take laps. Fucking mental.” He shakes his head. “What are you doing here?”

You open your mouth to reply when the boy with the tiny football comes flying over. “Are you Jamie Tartt?” he asks.

Jamie crouches to his level. “I am. What’s your name, mate?”

“Liam!” he replies. “I have a football like you!”

Jamie smiles. “Good lad. Keep up with the practice, and you’ll be better than me someday.”

Liam’s bouncing up and down, so excited that he throws his ball in the air. Jamie catches it and does a trick. At this point Liam is completely enamored with Jamie, and you are as well. He’s giving this kid his complete attention, making his whole day. Anyone else would have just shooed him off, but not Jamie.

He’s good with kids, your brain yells. 

You tell your brain to shut up.

Jamie tosses the ball back to Liam. “Where’s your mum?” he asks. “Might have tickets to a match for you.”

Liam points. Jamie turns to look behind the bench where you’re sitting, as that’s where Liam is pointing. There’s no one.

“Which one?” he asks, turning back to Liam.

“Me,” you say. “I’m his mum.”

Liam climbs into your lap and holds your face in his tiny hands. “Mum, Jamie Tartt says we can go to a match!” he says.

You laugh. “Don’t get your hopes up, love, Jamie hasn’t made any promises.”

Liam settles into your lap, facing Jamie. He can’t see your face or the pleading look you’re giving Jamie.

Please don’t mess this up, you try to say with your eyes. Jamie must get the message because he keeps smiling and asks Liam if he wants to kick the ball around for a bit. You watch them go, dreading the imminent conversation.

—

Liam’s asleep in his little Richmond pajamas. He loves football, and you watch every single match the Greyhounds play. Tickets are expensive, and you promised you’d take him to a real game one day. Truth is, you aren’t sure when that will be. It’s not easy being a single mum, but as you watch Liam’s sleeping face, you know you wouldn’t trade him for anything.

You sigh and get out of the rocking chair. Might as well call Jamie and get it over with.

Please pick up, you pray, and he does; you’re in the dim kitchen lights, poking at a cup of tea.

“Hey!” comes Jamie’s surprised voice. “You alright? Need anything?”

You shake your head even though he can’t see. “No, I wanted to talk about today. And Liam. Harry’s his dad.”

“Figured,” Jamie replies. “Made his comments at the gala make more fucking sense.”

“Yeah,” you say. Harry is a fucking prick. “Harry… he doesn’t have any custody. He’s not allowed near Liam. He also doesn’t pay child support. Or want a child. Or anything, really. He just wants to fuck around and do what he wants with no consequences. I should’ve known better honestly, I’m not even one to go around like that. Figures the one time I do it ends up like this. Not that I’m complaining,” you continue, “Liam is the best part of my life. It’s just hard when I keep losing people because they don’t want him too. Keeley’s the only one who stuck around. Did you know she’s a surprisingly great babysitter? Even kicks around a football in the yard with him.” 

Jamie makes a surprised noise. It’s hard to picture Keeley in that exact situation, but not hard to imagine her doing anything that her friends needed.

“Anyway,” you continue, “I get if this makes things weird. You don’t have to get us tickets to the match. Liam’s still pretty little anyway… always taking bathroom breaks and needing snacks.”

“The owner’s box would be perfect,” Jamie blurts.

That isn’t the reply you were expecting, so you’re silent for a moment as he continues, “I mean… It’s easy to get in and out of, Rebecca’s got a fridge and a restroom…People bring their kids all the time. He’d love it. I’d love it,” he finishes.

You’re not sure. This is the longest anyone has ever stuck around when it comes to Liam, and you don’t really want to go to jail for murder if Jamie breaks his heart. All he could talk about for the rest of the day was how Jamie Tartt played football with him. Isaac McAdoo is is number one favorite, but you think Jamie is now a close second. 

“Alright,” you say finally. “We’ll be there.”

—

It’s past Liam’s bedtime, like way past, and he’s asleep with his head on your shoulder. Your arms are tired from holding him and your throat is sore from screaming at the Richmond match. Jamie was right, Liam loved it. He wore his McAdoo jersey and got to meet the whole team before the game. You have a picture of him on Isaac’s shoulders, smiling so big. It’s weird to think that he probably won’t remember any of this when he’s older. 

You’re waiting in a lobby of some kind for Jamie to come out. You’re leaning against a wall, feeling Liam’s steady breathing as he dreams. 

Meanwhile, Jamie’s in the locker room, freaking out. 

“Coach,” he says, wearing a hole in the floor, “how do you ask out a girl who’s got a kid?” 

“Well Jamie-” Ted says. 

“Are there some kind of rules I’m supposed to follow?” Jamie continues, oblivious. “I mean, what the fuck am I supposed to say?”

“I think-” Ted tries again. 

“Nah fuck it, I’m just going to ask,” Jamie says.

Ted grins. “That sounds like a good plan, son.”

Jamie smiles back. “Thanks, coach. You always have the best advice.”

Ted shakes his head, still smiling as Jamie leaves the locker room.

—

Jamie rounds the corner to find you half-asleep against a wall near some trophy case, with Liam breathing out tiny snores. He swears that he’s never seen anything more beautiful, and it freaks him out for a moment. It’s…domestic in a way he didn’t ever expect his life to be. 

He shakes off the weirdness and walks over. 

“Hi,” he says, unable to contain a smile. “D’you want me to hold him for you?”

“That would actually be amazing,” you reply. “My arms are killing me.”

The sight of Liam asleep in Jamie’s arms is enough to make your brain go oh shit. Because, oh. Shit. This boy is going to break your heart if you’re not careful.

“How’d you like the game?” Jamie asks as you begin to walk to the car park.

“I loved it,” you reply sincerely. “Haven’t actually been to a match since this one.” You pat Liam’s back affectionately. “Kid had a great time too. Talked about meeting Isaac McAdoo the entire match. He’s like some football aficionado in a four-year-old’s body, swear down.”

Jamie’s still smiling as he helps you get Liam into his car seat. “What’re you doing the rest of the night?”

You laugh. “Oh god, I wish I could say going to sleep. But I have to meal prep for the week while Liam’s asleep. Otherwise he gets his sticky fingers in everything. Gonna take a solid two hours, at least.”

Jamie hesitates. It’s now or never. “Could I come over?” he asks. “Can’t cook for shit, but I could keep you company.”

You pause. “Jamie- I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

But god, you want it so bad.

“I’m being serious,” Jamie says. “Not trying to mess with you. I like you. Think you’re fucking fit. I like being around you and I liked kicking the football around with Liam. He’s a good lad. I think it’s worth giving a try.”

You look at Liam. He’s still fast asleep, oblivious to his mum’s turmoil.

“Alright,” you say, still not looking at Jamie. “Let’s give it a try.”

Jamie grins and ghosts his thumb across your cheek, making you look at him.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” he says. “So now’s your moment to tell me to fuck off.”

You smile. “Can’t say that in front of Liam anyway,” you say as you crash your lips into his.

[pandorxxx]

Spoiled

Read part 1 here:

Neteyam x omatikayan fem reader (all aged up)

Warnings: HEAVY SMUT, cursing, soft-dom Neteyam, brat-Tamer, oral (both receiving and giving. Neteyam eats 🍑 in this one, sorry if you’re not into that). P in v, multiple orgasms, creampie, daddy kink, praise kink (kinda).

Synopsis: Ever since you and Neteyam decided to make it official, you had been nothing but a nightmare for him. And when he walked into the hut from a long day without your favorite fruit, there was no way you were going to let him slide.

🔞mdni🔞

It had been exactly 5 months since your 21st birthday extravaganza. 5 months since you and Neteyam decided to make it official. When you both told your parents, they were very happy for you both. Your father especially because he knew what a promising young man Neteyam was, and the fact that he would undeniably make a great mate. The relationship was going great…for you. Neteyam did everything in his power to keep you satisfied.

But if he was being honest, you were a complete nightmare. More bratty and selfish than you were when you were single. And let’s not forget to mention how needy you were. But he took it, because he loved you so much. But boy, was he getting sick and tired of you.

He would walk home from his long day of training, and stand outside of the door. Basking in the last few minutes he had alone before he had to deal with you.

He sighed deeply, walking into the hut. His eyes landed on your small figure, admiring yourself in the mirror. Hell, that was all you ever did.

“Did you get my fruit?” You asked, pulling your braids into a ponytail as you watched him walk to the cot languidly.

“Hello to you too.” He spoke sarcastically, plopping down on the cot. You frowned, turning to him with an angry glare. His eyes shot to you and he sighed, closing his eyes briefly to maintain his patience.

“Baby, the fruit you want isn’t in season right now. Remember? I told you that.” He gestured calmly. You stomped your foot like an angry child, walking over to him.

“But that’s what I want, Teyammm!” You whined, getting on your knees in-front of him as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“Baby, I understand that. And you know I’d get them for you if I could. I’ve looked everywhere, and they’re just nowhere to be found.” He explained, caressing your cheek as you pouted up at him. You smacked his hand away harshly, making him clench his jaw in restraint with a low groan.

“Ugh! You’re so annoying. Why don’t you just look HARDER!” You shouted, smacking his chest, only for him to have no reaction.

“Ok, y/n.” He muttered, standing to his feet in-front of you, walking over to the dresser to take his war belt off. You cocked an eyebrow, turning around to face him.

“OK? What does that mean?” You asked with aggression, standing to your full height.

“It means that I’m done talking. And I’d advise you do the same, because i am not in the mood for this shit tonight.” He shook his head, removing his woven necklace, placing it on the dresser.

You eyed him up and down in shock. He was becoming angry with you, and you knew that. You also knew that the only way to get what you wanted, was to play nice. So like always, you played your roll. Your demeanor softening into a sad pout. You walked over to him, turning him around to face you.

“What’s wrong now?” He asked sarcastically with a low sigh to follow. You shot him puppy dog eyes, and his demeanor immediately softened. You had him wrapped around your little finger.

“I hate when you get upset with me, Teyam. You’re gonna make me cry.” You whimpered, eyes becoming watery. You were such a great actress, you could cry on instant. After all, You had a lot of time to practice on your father. That’s how you got everything you wanted.

“No, baby. Don’t cry, please? I-im sorry. I’ll do whatever I have to, ok? I’ll get your fruit, Princess.” He reassured you, caressing your flushed cheeks. You sniffled, trailing your dainty hands down his chest.

“When?” You asked, cocking an eyebrow at him as your hands trailed over his abs. “First thing Tomorrow morning. They’ll be here before you wake up, I promise.” He nodded, pecking your forehead.

“You’re the best, you know that?” You asked, your hand finding the band of his loincloth. He smiled, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“Oh, baby. I’ll be my absolute best for you, and only you.” He confessed. Your hand made its way to his covered cock, palming it gently. His entire body froze, sucking in a sharp breath as he stared into your eyes.

“And how can I ever repay you, daddy?” You smiled, leaving small kisses on his chest. He let out a satisfied groan, throwing his head back.

“I-I would answer, but I’m assuming you already have something in mind Princess.” He strained, feeling his loincloth become looser and looser around his hips before it fell to the ground. You spit in your hand before connecting it to his throbbing cock, jerking it slowly. A series of curses and moans left his mouth as he watched you play with his cock.

“I can’t wait to get my fruit tomorrow. But until then….I think I’ll just snack on you instead. How’s that sound?” You asked sensually, speeding up the pace on his huge cock.

“Sounds good, Princess. Sooo s-so good.” He moaned, watching you slide down to your knees in-front of him. Without another moment to spare, you attached your mouth to his length, bobbing your head slowly as you stared up at him with lustful eyes.

“Oh my- f-fucking God. Juuust like that.” He muttered through a clenched jaw, holding the sides of your head as leverage to buck his hips into your mouth.

You hummed on him, swirling your tongue around his tip. You made it slow and sloppy for him, letting your spit cascade down your neck and breasts.

“Fuuck yes.” He groaned, watching you through hooded eyes, mouth slightly agape with low pants seeping through. You opened your mouth wider, letting him fuck your face just how he wanted to. He picked up the pace, the squelching and gagging noises egging him on.

“I-Im gonna cum, baby. G-Gonna cum!” He moaned, tucking both of his lips away, eyebrows scrunched as his eyes locked with yours.

“Mhmmm!” You hummed, eyes rolling in pleasure as you watched him fall apart. That was all he needed. His large hand found the top of the dresser, clawing at the wood as his eyes rolled back. Loud whimpers left his mouth before he released in yours. Your cheeks swelling with his seed. You let it trickle down your throat with a satisfied hum. He pulled out of your mouth slowly, a loud gasp leaving your swollen lips as he watched the lines of spit that connected you two.

“Fuuuck, girl. You’re gonna be the death of me.” He chuckled breathily, leaning back on the wall in exhaustion.

“Well don’t die yet. I’m horny now.” You pouted, untying your top and throwing it to the side. He looked down at you with low eyes, shaking his head with a light chuckle.

“When are you not horny?” He asked, rubbing his hands down his face in complete exhaustion. You crossed your arms, rolling your eyes at him. He sighed loudly.

“Whenever you want me, I give it to you. But right now…I’m so fucking tired. You have worn me out babe. And if you want me to be energized enough to go get your fruit, I need some sleep.” He explained, walking over to the cot slowly. You huffed, getting off of the ground to turn him around. “I want it.” You commanded, pouting up at him with your arms crossed.

“What, do you think I’m your Fuck toy or something? Huh? You know I am a whole person outside of just being your boyfriend? It’s been a long day, and I’m tired. And that little performance you just gave…only put the icing on the cake for me. So please….please just let me sleep.” He begged, hands intertwined with each other as he awaited an answer.

“Teyammm! Let me get on top then. You won’t even have to do anything but lay there.” You whined, caressing his biceps. He trailed your body for a moment, thinking about how good you would look riding him. With a low sigh, he finally gave in.

“You sure do know how to get what you want. Spoiled ass.” He smirked, backing up into the cot before taking a seat. You untied your loincloth swiftly, tossing it the the side of the room before straddling his lap.

“Whatever. Lay back.” You commanded, pushing him back with force. You two had been having sex long enough to not have a repeat of last time. So in one swift motion, you grabbed his cock, lining it up with your entrance to slowly slide down on him.

“Finally…I’m getting what I want.” You moaned, placing your hands on his broad chest, using it as leverage to bounce on him with full force.

“I-I always give you what you want. You’d kill me if I didn’t.” He spoke breathily, watching your breasts bounce with every subtle movement.

“Mmm hush!” You whined, eyes rolling to the back of your head as his swollen tip slammed into your sweetspot with every bounce of your hips.

His hands trailed down to your ass, gripping the plush flesh with his bottom lip tucked between his teeth to keep him quiet like you asked. Soft grunts and groans rumbling in his chest with every harsh meeting of his pelvis to yours.

“Teyammm, w-why are you so quiet? Am I not doing it right?” You whined, eyes meeting his. He looked at you completely dumbfounded.

“You t-told me t- mmm!- to hush. You’re doing so good, baby. Sooo so good!” He moaned, head titled back in complete bliss as his face scrunched in pleasure. He was so close, he could feel his muscles tensing and his heart racing until…you stopped with one hard bounce to his pelvis, almost knocking the wind out of him. He opened his eyes instantly, being met with your all too familiar angry demeanor.

“What? What could I have possibly done NOW?!” He shouted, rolling his eyes at you. “You’re annoying me! Being all quiet and shit. What is that supposed to mean? That I’m not doing my job, huh?” You asked, tilting your head as you awaited an answer.

“You told me to be quiet, DAMN! Do you not remember that?” He asked, gesturing wildly as his muscles tensed in anger. You rolled your eyes with a loud groan.

“NO I DONT REMEMBER THAT!” You shouted, smacking his chest hard enough to leave a handprint, but he still had no reaction to it. He ran his hands down his face with a loud growl.

“Holy shit Y/n, You’re driving me nuts! Just get up, I’m done with your shit tonight.” He sighed, placing his hands on your torso to lift you off of him. You smacked his hands away harshly. “NO!” You shouted, staying in place stubbornly.

“Hit me one more time…” His tone was serious, and dark. You loved to push neteyam’s buttons, but you knew when it was time to stop. And this was definitely the time. But, you felt like pushing him alittle further tonight, maybe you could wake the beast in him…the one you met the night of your party.

“Or what?” You challenged, eyebrow cocked as you awaited an answer. “Fuck around and find out. How about that?” He snarled, eyeing you up and down. You shot him a sarcastic smile, raising your hand to hit him again. But before it could connect to his chest, he had flipped both of you over, his arms engulfing your head.

“You’re such a fucking brat.” He spoke lowly, shifting your legs over his shoulders with one hand, completely folding you in half. He began to thrust into you, hard and deep, still maintaining a somewhat slow pace. Just so you could feel all of him, deep inside of your slippery cunt. After all, this was now considered a punishment.

“Too deep, Too deep, Teyammm!” You moaned, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you tapped his thigh, essentially tapping out.

“Hush! Not another fucking word. I’m sick of you talking.” He growled, pecking your agape lips as he fed you the deepest strokes you’d ever gotten. Loud squelching noises and heavy grunts flooded the room.

“I-Im sorry Tey! I’m sorry!” You nodded lazily, giving him those puppy dog eyes that seemed to work so well on him. “Not trying to hear that shit right now.” He shook his head with a dark chuckle, rolling his hips into you.

“Ohhh fuuuck.” You squealed, wrapping your trembling arms around his neck gently, bringing him dangerously close to you. So close that you could feel his breath tickling your nose. The eye contact was lethal as he drilled into you at an agonizingly slow pace. So deep you could feel him in your stomach.

“I-I hate you…sooo much.” You moaned, throwing your head back in absolute bliss. He knew that whenever you would tell him that, an intense release would follow.

“Gonna cum, huh? I know you like the back of my fucking hand, Princess.” He chuckled breathily, using the opportunity to leave kisses on your exposed neck.

“Yesss, I’m so close Tey!” You whimpered, shifting your trembling legs to the side of his hips. He began to speed up the pace, kissing every inch of your neck and jaw.

“Mhm, cum for me Princess. Be as loud as you want. Let everyone know that your spoiled ass belongs to me. I’m the only one that can handle you, right?” He asked breathily, in between kisses.

“Yes Teyammm!” You whined loudly, eyes rolling to the back of your head as your entire body began to tremble at once.

“Fuuuck, this is the only time I like to hear you scream my name.” He moaned, watching you come undone beneath him. Your juices flowed out of you with every slow thrust, making their way to the sheets.

“I-I want more. give me MORE!” You whined, in the middle of your peek. He shook his head with a slight chuckle.

“Any more and we’re gonna have to sleep on the ground. You’re making a mess, baby.” He explained, pulling out of you slowly, watching the rest of your essence cascade out of you like a river.

“One more time, Teyam! I-I’m so fucking hot for you.” You moaned, turning around in-front of him. You laid your head on the bed as your hips stayed mounted in the air. You spread your knees farther apart, opening yourself up to him.

“Oh my-“ he muttered under his breath, smacking your plush ass with a low groan. His mouth began to water, licking his lips as he admitted your dripping cunt. He bent down, immediately attaching his lips to your clit, flicking his tongue against the ball of nerves. You let out a low moan, spreading your legs a little wider for him.

He held your cheeks open to get better access, completely devouring your sensitive heat. He sucked on your clit like a pacifier before licking a long stripe up to your ass, swirling his tongue around to hole.

“Yesss, juuust like that daddy!” You moaned, a delirious smile plastered across your face in pleasure.

He began to French kiss your ass, letting his spit cascade down his chin. With a low hum, he stuck his tongue out, wiggling his head in between your cheeks, making your tail sway high in excitement with small whimpers falling from your precious lips. He sent it one last peck before he stood back up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You taste so good princess. Just like the fruit you’ve been nagging me about for the past week.” He chuckled, sending a hard smack to your ass once more.

“I know that. FUCK ME.” You frowned, backing your ass up into him. He smiled, lining his cock up with your entrance before plunging into you.

“So fucking cocky. You just think you’re so hot, huh?” He asked, thrusting into hard and deep.

“I-I am hot, daddy. You don’t think so?” You moaned breathily, gripping the sheets so hard that your knuckles were white.

“You know how I feel, you just wanna hear me say it.” He moaned, mouth slightly agape as he watched your ass smack against his pelvis. The sweet music ringing through the entire hut, along with your pornographic moans that he loved so much. He shifted his hips up, jamming into that sensitive sweet spot of yours repeatedly. You bit your lip with a satisfied smile, shifting your head on the cot to look back at him.

“You like that? Hmm?” He asked with a sensual tone, smacking your bruised ass a few times, earning a few low hums in satisfaction from you. You let out a small giggle in response, followed by a series a curses as your stomach muscles started to tense.

“I-I’m gonna cum, Teyammm!” You moaned, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you began to push your hips back into him to meet his rhythm.

“Shiiiittt! me too, baby.” He groaned, speeding up the pace. He threw his head back, loud growls rumbling in his chest. His thrusts became sloppy, cock twitching inside of you from his incoming orgasm.

“Oh my God, Yesssss! I’m- I-“ you cried, an intense release following. Your entire body twitching with each deep stroke. Your walls fluttering around him caught his attention. He looked down, admiring his cream coated cock with every thrust.

“Mmm, did you get what you wanted, Princess? Have I satisfied you enough?” He asked with a hint of sarcasm. But in reality, all he ever wanted to do was make you feel good. If you were happy, he was happy.

“Yes, daddy! I-I love you! I love you sooo much!” You moaned breathily, coming down from your high.

“Ohhh baby. I love you more!” He moaned, sending you one last thrust before painting your fluttering walls with his seed. You could feel the liquid trickling down into your womb, filling it up just right. A series of moans leaving his and your mouth as you both came down from your peeks. He pulled out, watching his seed flow down your trembling thighs.

“Can I go to sleep now princess?” He asked, grabbing a cloth to clean you up first. Silence followed, not even a hum in agreement.

“Y/n?” He asked, shifting around to see you cooing with your eyes shut tightly. Your legs slowly buckled to the cot, laying you completely flat. He chuckled to himself, wiping your thighs one last time.

“What am I going to do with you, Princess?…”

Taglist: @number1gal @loak-bae @tiredmamaissy @neytirishottie @viajaeger @terrorthewolf @lethargicluv @reyzzsostellar @m0nst3rfk3r @agelsully @jakescumdump @wekiamo @st-cass @cleardonutangelwagon @tsireqas @satanlovedays @afro-hispwriter @urfavgirlmakenna @fanboyluvr @iameatingmyhair @secretflowerobservation @violet-19999 @xreadersstuff @sweetllamaparadise @lia-nath @sullymenrhot @dotheyevenknowmars @xdbluesky @slay-nt @domino-x3-blog @ladylovegood-69 @itssomeonereading @sweetirilly @skxawngmia @j-jinxee @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @cumikering @pxndorasdream @itsaleidasworld @atxxokirina @yeletta @blueslxt-primary @jackchampismybbg @eywascall @valeriearriana37484 @avatarsslut @bee782916 @atxxokirina @taylormarieee @loaksdog

[altocat]

Give us some love headcanons of lucercia and Vincent please I beg

Please let them live on a farm in a cottage house or something plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz

Lucrecia and Vincent run off together sometime during Lucrecia's pregnancy. Vincent spines his nerve and tells Lucrecia that she doesn't have to use the Jenova Project as a means of atoning for the death of his father. He doesn't blame her. He never did. They need to get out of here before she makes a mistake she CAN'T take back, one where he knows Hojo will get full control. She can't trust Hojo. But she CAN trust Vincent. And Vincent will do his best to make her happy. She just needs to take that leap.

They manage a clean escape out towards the country, Lucrecia heavy with child. They only reason why Shinra didn't fire at them was because Lucrecia used her own body as a hostage, Hojo ordering everyone to stand down out of fear of hurting his unborn son. But mark his words, he WILL come after them. And he will find them. Eventually.

Lucrecia and Vincent's life together is rather awkward. Vincent is clearly still very much in love with her, but she's conflicted about returning her feelings. There's still so much guilt. And he holds NOTHING against her, which makes it even worse. She...doesn't know what to do. Where to go.

Her water breaks and it is VINCENT who delivers the baby. Sephiroth is tiny and fragile, pale and shivering as Vincent gently places him in Lucrecia's arms. She stares down at the baby, torn between feelings of guilt and feelings of complete love and desperation. Vincent promises her that he'll help her look after the boy. And in time, he comes to love Sephiroth as if he were his own son.

Lucrecia and Vincent's life together is quiet, but tender. There's a lot of unspoken affection between them. Great sadness, yes. Lingering guilt. Patience. Understanding. Occasional tension. But they come to rely on each other as equals. Lucrecia does her best to make up for the past by way of being an attentive mother to Sephiroth. And while her relationship with Vincent will never be the passionate love affair it could have been, she can still call him her best friend, her closest companion. And at times, yes, her love.

They live in a secluded cottage. Sephiroth adores Vincent and is constantly copying him, happily enjoying a childhood full of love and support from his parents, wanting for nothing. He grows into a sweet-natured, if not occasionally mischievous young man who loves to read and wants to be an astrologist someday. When Vincent buys the boy a telescope for Christmas, Lucrecia finds herself overcome with such love and gratitude towards him that their relationship FINALLY becomes intimate after years of subdued companionship together.

Altogether, they make up a happy family living a normal life. There's a lot of love shared between the three of them. Lucrecia has not yet told Vincent but they might have to add an extra number to the mix very soon.

I assume Hojo will find them eventually. But by then, Sephiroth is already half-way grown and will NOT tolerate any destructive bullshit towards his family. Shinra gets to deal with that. Have fun!

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Astrology Theories : The Sun & The Moon

Hey! So todays astrology theory post will focus primarily on the moon/sun and the aspects and signs pertaining to it.

Let me start off by saying, people who carry the aspects connecting the sun and moon together, will be easily likeable, as well as someone who can be a team player and be a beacon for people. There is a sense of inspiration that comes out of them because the blending of these two come together and makes for something totally unique for the individual and their experience. There is a special persona that comes out of these characters who hold this placement, and the way they share it is magnificent.

Sun Conjunct The Moon - To be, this gives the energy of someone who is the first born in the family. Could naturally be a caretaker, could become a leader and be in these roles easily because of their inner nature. Could process their emotions differently, and may need small amounts of alone time, depending on the sign they both are in this can show a bit differently. These characters are born under a new moon, so their can be experiences we're they can reimagine and start over their lives for the greater good of themselves and possible the world.

Sun Opposite The Moon - Big personalities. Big possibilities. Bigger lessons. You get the picture. Everything seems more intense because of the power trip the full moon gives the sun, but they both work hand in hand together and make things powerful with their magic. Now I can assure you, they are not to be messed with. Their energy can create waves because they are use to the tides always shifting in different directions. They gotta make it work in order to balance themselves out. This ain't a walk in the park, got it? Inspiration moves right through them as they are processing their own vibration and people will tend to catch this energy and want to know more about them.

Sun Square The Moon - Creatrix. Beautiful liars. Sociopaths. Can be likeable, can be unlikeable. It depends on the upbringing. There is so many different ways to express the complexities of this placement, because they are used to being the black sheep as well as the golden child at the same time. Could very much so like to have it their way, but the world forces them to appease to others.. and vice versa. They have relationship issues do to parental problems where the parents put their needs before the child. They could of had strange upbringings with the family and learned how to occupy their time with developing their personalities their own way and keeping that unique personality to themselves. They could be selfish, they could be sweet. They could be generous, they could be mean. You never know what you're going to get with them, or when those tides can change. Cause it all depends on how their feeling, after all.

Sun Trine The Moon - Attractors. Manifestors. Healers. Creators. The people with this placement seem to have an eye for detail. Could potentially erase years of trauma and guilt from their family tree, and could strive to create better for the future head. Could be very good leaders, and someone who just knows what they want.. and they're not afraid to get it. They have great potential to be somebody in this lifetime, and could use this potential to help others see this light within them as well. They have to choose the right people in their space so that they can bloom more, it just works that way. Truly being who they are, is how they will maintain a lifetime of success. Reaching for the stars is in their nature, because they know that they are one themselves.

Sun Sextile The Moon - Healers. Potential. Channelers. Potion Makers. Could be deemed crazy. The Sextile gives a promise that these individuals can utilize this energy and can create excitement around what it is they desire. This aspect is good creating space and community for people like them. And can be somewhat of a mirror for anybody who needs to channel that energy into something new. Could be very delightful and fun to get alone with it. Could be shy and full of nervousness. Could be someone who gets their needs met by sharing their emotional needs with others. They need a safe space to survive.

[hwasdvlly]

Happy Hollow-ween | c.san

↠ summary: a classic yet fun activity for the season is to carve a pumpkin.

↠ pairing: san x fem!reader

↠ genres: family, fluff, and slice of life

↠ word count: 0.6k words

↠ warnings/tags: none. established relationship, idol!san, non-idol!reader, married couple, sannie is husband/father material

↠ a/n: yesss!! another of the choi family which is personally one of my fav writings

“Appa! I want this one!”

“Isn’t that a bit huge? It’s bigger than your head, Mimi.”

The beloved Choi Family are at the pumpkin patch, where they’ll find the perfect ones to carve. It’s the autumn season, too. The weather has cooled down, and everyone dressed in cozy outfits. 

San picks up a pumpkin that his baby is pointing at. He grunts and uses his strength from those gym workouts because it is heavy. “Y/N! What do you think?!” He calls over his wife, who is busy taking pictures of the lovely area. You turn your attention to your husband and see him struggling with the object. You let a giggle, “It’s almost the same size as The Great Pumpkin from Charlie Brown.” You walk up to the love of your life and your little angel. You assumed it was Sangmi’s choice. 

“Okay, I guess we’re taking it.” San tries to look strong, but, for real, his arms are about to break. You know your hubby by heart that he’ll act differently to impress you and Sangmi. 

“Do you need help, Sannie?” You snickered. San didn’t hesitate to deny it. “Nope! Nope! I got this!” The man waddles his way to the parking lot. Sangmi holds your hand. “Appa looks funny.” She laughs at her penguin dad. “You know how appa is, aegi (baby).” You tell your little girl. San will do anything for his angel. 

Once they arrived home, the Choi Family layered old newspapers on the balcony. San and Sangmi are wearing matching Halloween shirts and plaid sweats. You came out of the kitchen after unboxing the utensils to check on your family. 

“Gotta scrape all of the guts out. Like how you pick your nose.” San makes an absurd comparison. 

“Ew! Appa! I don’t pick my nose.” Sangmi rebutted and giggled heartily. 

The man smirks, “Oh, you don’t? Then what’s this?” He reaches over to tap Sangmi’s button nose. She continues to laugh her head off. You melted by the sound of her angelic voice. Maybe she will become a singer like her dad. You joined the duo by helping them scrape the pumpkin guys. 

San sighed tiredly, “Why did she choose this one? It’s going to take ages to carve.” He spoke in a low voice to prevent Sangmi from hearing his complaint. You replied, “Well, you did make a promise to her the moment she was born.” You looked at him with a knowing look. “Promises can’t be broken, I guess.” San meets your gaze, and he shows his cute pout. 

No matter what age or how long you’ve known this man, he is forever a sulky child. 

“Alright! We are done!” San cheers because it did take ages. 

You went to sit with Sangmi and wipe her messy hands clean. “How do you want to carve the pumpkin, Mimi?” You asked. 

“Can we do Kuromi?” She looks at her parents with the prettiest cat-like eyes. How can anyone say no to that? 

San nods his head with a wide smile. “Yes! I like that idea.” He agrees with his daughter. 

When it comes to arts & crafts, San will do it as if it’s a major task. Even though Sangmi wouldn’t mind if it came out ugly, her appa doesn’t accept imperfections. 

The hours went by, and the day was now night. 

You grabbed a small candle to light up. “Here, sweetheart. Our masterpiece won’t be complete without this.” You handed it to Sangmi. She holds the candle and uses her tiny arms to reach inside the top of the carved pumpkin. She places it in the middle before San grabs the lighter.

“Watch baby. This is a magical moment.” He turns it on, and the flame burns the wick. 

Sangmi’s face brightens like the Kuromi pumpkin. “It’s pretty!” She claps her hands. 

San shifts his body to the masterpiece in front of him. “Appa did good, right?” He gives you and Sangmi a smug expression.

You rolled your eyes yet smiled at your self-righteous husband. Sangmi just happily nodded to indicate that her appa did a beautiful job. 

[marsattaxk]

「Swan Song」 / KATSUKI BAKUGO EXTRA

MY HERO ACADEMIA  ✦  KATSUKI BAKUGO × BALLERINA!GN!READER  ✦ ©marsattaxk 2024

AUTHORS NOTE: hawaiian cocktail from spongebob starts playing. me when i lie and say i'd try to be consistent but ended up disappearing for two months. my bad y'all. i promise i didn't forget about you all and this fanfic, however university ended up grabbing me by the jugular and not letting go until just earlier this month. i, unfortunately, don't have the next chapter for y'all, i weep as well, but i do have something to give y'all as an early Christmas present. at some point this week y'all will get a BONUS ENCOUNTER and today you are getting head canons, twitter profiles, relationship moments, and some random ass facts about SWAN, aka you, the reader, they needed a name so I wasn't going crazy writing [Y/N] all the time. As well as a small preview to the BONUS ENCOUNTER that shall come later out this week. So please forgive me for the wait, i'll start working on chapter two this month so hopefully you'll have a new year's blessing. so for now, peace and love, stay freaky and angsty. - mars

FACTS ABOUT SWAN ( AKA [Y/N] ):

Swan from now on shall be the name we use when talking specifically about ballerina! [y/n], since a: it’s shorter, b: goes with their quirk, and c: since this story is part of a universe of fics, it helps differentiate them from the other [y/n]’s that at some point will appear

Just to quickly get it out of the way, there shall be no physical descriptions of Swan, just that they are tall, and there will be minor tidbits here and there about random things, but never something that talks about their appearance, birthday, ethnic background, etc. The only thing about their nationality is that they are not from Japan, that's it. 

They are at least bilingual. I mean, they moved from their home country to go do ballet in a complete different one with a whole new language they at least known two languages. Maybe three if we count the English classes students take in school.

While there is no specified birthday for Swan, since y’all’s birthdays are their birthday, they are older than Katsuki. It could be by a year or by a few months they are just older than Katsuki.

Anyway moving on, I stated in the fic and in the notes that they are tall. How tall? In the current, present set of the fanfic, they are 5’11. They are on the way taller side of the spectrum for ballerina height, but hey a little height never hurt anyone. And just to give a bit more insight on this story’s epilogue (yes there will be an epilogue) they shall remain taller than Bakugou. So, tall partner for the win. 

They are left-handed. It’ll probably show up in future chapters but when it came to writing down basic plot points for each, I described them as using their left hand for a lot of basic tasks such as writing, and using scissors. 

It’s mentioned in the story, but they come from a pro-hero family. Their parents are pro-heroes, as well as their grandparents, and great-grandparents. They are the first in three generations to not become a pro hero.

I guess you can kinda infer it but they are closer with their dad than they are with their mom. They have a good relationship with both, don't get me wrong, however there's been moments where they feel like their mom wants them to follow the pro-hero lifestyle more than what they want. While their dad just wants them to do what they are happy doing.

They aren’t really close with their extended family. Not due to problems or arguments, just due to the fact they never see them, and how they now live on the complete other side of the planet. Plus being a ballerina in a pro-hero family doesn’t give you much to talk about. 

Which is even more highlighted by the fact they are an only child. Having no siblings to continue the family tradition of being pro-heroes for their parents. Sometimes they feel as if their extended family pities their parent’s for having a child who wanted to follow what they love more than a tradition.

It’s mentioned in chapter 1 that their whole life is just ballet. This unfortunately led them to not have much to talk about with people in school as once everyone else has their short lived interest and they were trying to achieve their life long dream.

They practically always wear black. The only time they wear color is when they are at practice, during performances, and rehearsals. Any other time they are always wearing black. 

I don't wanna just throw a style at y'all in case you have a completely different way of thinking Swan dresses in, but in my head I see Swan as having a very casual style. Wearing zip up jackets, loose jeans, sneakers. That type of wear since every other day they are wearing leotards and point shoes to dance in.

The ballet performance that they were watching on TV that made them want to be a prima ballerina was Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake (I’m so funny chat). 

It’s mentioned in the first chapter and in the notes, Swan’s quirk is called Swan Song. Their families quirk’s are all, if not most, bird related. 

Swan Song is a quirk that allows Swan to be able to dance with supernatural precision and elegance. As well as create graceful and artistic effects out of air currents. However, their quirk requires them to be at an emotional state, and since they are constantly at practice, they are always over emotional and prone to outburst. As well as be exhausted from the constant use of it for performances.

While ballet may be Swan's ultimate passion, I like to think they have other hobbies outside of just ballet (I mean that’d just be sad). They like to listen to music, as well as have some knowledge of playing the piano (I mean Tchaikovsky was a composer and he composed Swan Lake). They are also very much an avid reader because I said so and because I like to imagine that their favorite book is The Perks of Being a Wallflower. 

Oh, going back to dance. Ballet isn't the only type of dance style that Swan does or did. They used to do contemporary, and did some modern dance. But, ballet is what they focus on more. Swan also isn't opposed to learning other styles of dance, even if ballet is their main one, they are still a dancer and they'd like to learn more.

They also did gymnastics for a year. It was to help them become more flexible for certain moves in ballet. They enjoyed it, but it's not for them.

Their favorite game of all time is Persona 4, which includes Golden.

In general their favorite games are story-based rpg’s. They like the way the stories flow and how everything connects in the end.

Some of Swan’s favorite artists include, but are not limited to: The Marias, Laufey, Imogen Heap, Tommy february6/ heavenly6, Tory Lanez, etc. 

I will drop a playlist if y'all ask me too. 

Contrary to popular belief, Swan doesn’t have a favorite hero, even after growing up in a hero household. From a young age they used to say their parents. Now? They don’t have one. They really have no care for the hero world.

When texting they always type in lowercase. It may be due to the fact that their handwriting is so small, that to imitate that through text they always type in lowercase. And in short text as well, which unfortunately pisses off Katuski in some instances. Example:

Katsuki <3: Did you see the post about that movie you wanted to go see? (clearly trying to take his partner out)

Swan: yeah

Swan: what about it?

Katsuki <3: Didn’t you want to go see it?

Swan: yeah

Swan: i’ll probably go see it my friends 

Katsuki <3: …

Katsuki <3: Dumbass, I’m trying to invite you to go watch it.

Swan: oh 

Swan: why didn’t you just ask?

Katsuki <3 : … I should have expected you to not pick up what I was putting down. 

Swan: hey >:(

Swan is me, and I am Swan. We both don’t understand social cues.

Talking about social cues.

RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS: 

There won’t be spoilers for the chapters but mostly just post story/ they are dating headcanons. And maybe, just maybe, some small epilogue stuff. 

I’m sorry to disappoint chat, but neither of them have relationship experience. If you thought, well maybe Swan does, nope. They are two teens who for a great majority of their lives focused on one thing, they are idiots when it comes to romance. 

Unlike Katsukie who practically never had a crush in his life, Swan fortunately did, so they get some brownie points. 

I’ll get it out of the way, both of them are queer. Have you seen those Izuku and Katsuki moments? Yeah, explosion murder god Dyamight is bisexual in this universe you can’t tell me otherwise. But, yeah dude knew he was bisexual from an early age. I’m going off those head canons of Katsuki seeing nothing wrong about thinking of marrying Izuku when they were kids, and not caring about it, but that’s just me chat. 

Swan? Queer. They are just queer, I envision them always knowing they didn’t care about gender from a young age and that just stuck until they found the label of queer. They’ve had crushes on guys, girls, they’s, trans, and everything in between since middle school, but Katsuki is their first boyfriend. 

They are each other's firsts. First relationship, first kiss, first date, first hand holding, idk just firsts in general. 

Their official first date, happens right after the last chapter (yeah, y’all wont get to see it lmao (you’ll get a BONUS ENCOUNTER of it though)), Katsuki takes them on a late picnic by the river date (all while still in ballet gear (mans couldn’t wait))

While they will briefly interact in one of the chapters, Swan didn’t meet the bakusquad until later on in their relationship (the bonus encounter y’all are getting is about this).

The first ever bonus encounter isn’t just about meeting bakusquad but also meeting Katsuki’s parents, so I won’t go too much into them here. But for Swan's parents, Katsuki meets them after a performance. He thought they wouldn’t be there and then he ended up at dinner with Swan, and their parents at a fancy restaurant while he was wearing the most casual iteration and definition of formal attire. 

His mother did end up yelling at him after finding this out.

Speaking of Mitsuki. She loves Swan. She genuinely believes they are a good influence on Katsuki and enjoys seeing his son happy with someone.

Also this is just me, but I’m a big enjoyer of the concept of Katsuki and his partner basically just being Mitsuki and Masaru when they were younger. And so that’s what Swan and Katsuki are.

It’s probably no secret but you could infer that Swan's physical therapy sessions will come to an end first than Katsuki’s, meaning the entire time Katsuki is still going through his rehabilitation he is complaining to Swan about how he left him all alone in the therapy center. 

Katsuki’s love language is acts of service, while Swans is quality time.

Yapper x Listener. You can guess who’s who. 

They are also: angry, aggressive orange cat and calm, elegant black cat.

They have a blend on spotify together. It took Swan literally begging Katsuki to actually even agree to do so.

He literally out of the blue texted them that their music taste wasn’t that bad making them freak out over the fact he had in fact joined the blend.

Continuing with the spotify talk, since you can see what your friends are listening on spotify, sometimes Katsuki wonders if something is wrong when he sees Swan listening to some sad, heartbreak song, and sits there and wondering if he no longer has a partner. (he still does (Swan just likes sad songs)). 

Katsuki is a romance manga reader, while Swan reads shonen manga as well as thriller/ horror. 

Going back to the hero thing. Katsuki took it upon himself to teach Swan about heroes, especially All Might. So, now Swan has some idea of who these people on TV are.

They both don't use pet names at all. They mostly just stick to each others names. However, Katsuki does pull out the 'baby' whenever he notices that Swan is getting nervous. In turn, whenever Katsuki starts to get agitated, Swan pulls out either 'Suki', 'baby', or the deadly combo 'Suki, baby'. It works wonders on the blonde.

Whenever Katsuki texts Swan, and they can’t type out a response, they send him a picture of whatever it is they are doing.  

Example: Katsuki could asked them what they are doing and they’d respond with a picture, sometimes video, of them just at the dance studio.

This also connects with the fact that at random, Swan sometimes will send Katsuki pictures of two random things together and just caption it with the words ‘us’. And no, Katsuki still doesn’t understand how a creeper and an enderman from minecraft are the two of them. 

This leads to the fact of Swan calling them Badtz-maru and Kuromi. Katsuki did not see it at first but he’s come around to it.

Quickly circling back to bakusquad, they absolutely adore Swan. Most wonder how Katsuki was able to pull them but hey mans got a partner and that’s all Kirishima can ask of his best bro. 

Katsuki has to deal with Swan sending him those random couple trend videos tiktok. He greatly disapproves of most of them and actively judges a lot of tiktok couples. The only trend he actually liked was the ‘I wanna turn the whole world upside down’ one. 

While the two of them don’t get into arguments and fights often, they do happen and they mostly resolve it in the end because communication is something they do. No we will never have a miscommunication trope here chat, I can’t stand them. 

A small sneak peak into their future, and epilogue. They are still together, and they are married. It took a while, some heartbreak, tears, multiple connecting flights, but they are married. 

They are the definition of Pro-Hero and his Talented, Beautiful, Out of This World Spouse that he can’t stop bragging about. 

Yes, Katsuki does have a 5+ hour compilation on youtube of him just referencing, talking about, mentioning his spouse, and girlfriend at the time, he is very much proud of it. This started when he graduated from UA. 

That's all I’ll give. I wanna save the rest for the actual epilogue. 

I think this is obvious but he attends all of their performances. 

We love a supportive boyfriend who supports your borderline obsessive lifelong career

The first time the rest of class 1-A, or 2-A in this case, met Swan was during the sport festival since Katsuki invited them to watch him compete in it. Just like bakusquad, they were all shocked Katsuki was the first one in their class to get a significant other. (eyes shift to the side as if I’m hiding something up my sleeve).

It won’t be mentioned in the BONUS ENCOUNTER because it’s mostly focusing on bakusquad and Katsuki’s parents meeting Swan, but he actually introduced them to All Might and Izuku to before anyone else because that’s his favorite hero and mentor as well as his best friend. 

All Might was proud of young Bakugo for finding a connection with someone else that wasn’t young Midoriya. 

Meanwhile, Izuku ‘I know everything about Kacchan’ Midoriya was freaking out about the fact Katsuki didn’t tell him that he had gotten a partner sooner. 

The two of them yelled at each other while Swan and All Might had a pleasant conversation between themselves while drinking tea. 

Katsuki mostly just has social media because of the fact he’s going to become a famous pro-hero and needs to somehow interact with fans (even though we all know he won't) but he instead mostly uses it to see what his friends are retweeting, posting, and reposting. And to see all the stuff Swan sends him on tiktok. 

He only ever posts about band practice, UA hero work related stuff, or just of him and Swan. That's it. We love a chronically offline king. 

Speaking of social media.

SMAU ( FAKE TWITTERS AND TEXTS):

A quick thing, any of the pictures used do not depict how you, the reader, look like. They are just used to show what or how Katsuki’s and Swan’s (you) relationship looks like. 

SWAN'S TWITTER:

KATSUKI'S TWITTER:

THE TWO OF THEM:

TEXTS:

Damn. I sure as hell gave you all a lot of content to enjoy and maybe come up with more head canons, ideas, scenarios in your heads. I hope this keeps y'all fed for a little while. But, just like i promised. Here is a sneak peak into the BONUS ENCONTER. Recount the night that I first met your mother, that shall drop at some point this week.

SYNOPSIS: Two months into their relationship, KATSUKI BAKUGO finally has the realization that his parents would have to meet his partner, [Y/N]. He struggled to rationalize prolonging the inevitable while also handling his group of friends hounding him to finally and properly introduce them to each other. What he doesn’t know is that while he is trying to find a way to introduce [Y/N] to his parents, is that they have already met.

TAGLIST (open): @oddball08

[its-jun0]

Psychological analysis of Aira

And how the loss of her mother affected the development of her personality

I feel that this is something very overlooked in the community and in honor of the new chapter I would like to do a small analysis from my perspective on it.

Although it is something very little addressed in the story, it is extremely important in her development as a character.

This thread contains spoilers for the manga from the acro silky to the Space Globalist arc!

As we saw in the Acro Silky arc, Aira's mother died when she was very little and judging by her appearance she was no more than 5 or 6 years old at the time.

This simple fact makes the event even more relevant, childhood is a stage of utmost importance in human beings, since at this stage most cognitive skills are developed.

These skills help in the development of healthy and correct management of emotions during adolescence and Adulthood also influences how the child relates to people and their environment.

The importance of the presence of parents at this stage is indispensable, since the first bond that appears in the life of a human is with them and depending on the circumstances and how this bond develops, it will affect the poor way in the psychosocial growth of the infant.

The absence of one or both parents strongly affects the development of the infant, causing damage to the child's psyche that can last beyond adulthood and is even more serious when it is something irreversible such as the death of one of them.

With this begins a grieving process, which is very different from that of an adult given the poor emotional management capacity of a child, this directly affects the growth and development of the child's personality.

Her need for perfection

One of the main characteristics in Aira's personality is the need to be perfect, both in how she acts and how she looks physically.

At first it can be seen as the need to fit in that many teenagers have, but after the acro silky arc you can see the topic in more depth.

In chapter 17 we can see how in the flashback shared with Acro Silky, Aira as a child promises her father to be a great girl so that her mother can be proud when she “comes back”.

With this in mind by connecting their attitudes she can be given a little background, since she acts so “perfectly” because in a certain part she fills the void and the need to make her mother proud.

Because in her mind the fact that everyone loves and admires her makes her someone important, no matter if that means not being true to who she really is.

And this brings us to the point that she thought she was “the chosen one”, since this was a greater merit than just being loved and popular among the people around her.

Although she acted proud about it, this was the perfect situation for her to be able to fulfill the promise she had made, to become someone her mother can be truly proud of.

Although as the chapters go by she continues with this idea in mind, her perspective changes to a more serious one, demonstrating her great development during the plot.

Her actions in the acro silky arc and how this marked a before and after in her character

As I have said many times, despite being her debut arc, this one is very important since you can notice a change, even if it is slight, in how she was presented and how she developed after this.

One of Aira's characteristics is her great empathy towards people who have gone through difficult times; this may mainly be because her own situation helps her put herself in the shoes of others.

The main example of this was with Acro silky, since both shared the pain of a loss and in this case, both were very important figures as mother and daughter.

In other situations where this can be seen is when she finds out about Vamola's past, being moved to tears and another very important point is how she behaves with Chiquitita.

Her relationship with Chiquitita

Aira and Chiquitita's relationship is similar to that of an older sister and a younger brother, Chiquitita is in the same situation as her, he is small, his mother died and he is cared for only by his father, so she can feel more than identified In this case.

Aira is giving him the support and company that she surely lacked as a child given the circumstances in which she grew up.

It is not easy for a father to address all the needs of a child in the absence of, in this case, a maternal figure, since he has to dedicate himself to working and meeting the child's physical needs, even if this means leaving emotional needs aside.

This led us to another very important point in her personality, her great resilience.

The resilience and strength that she possesses

One of the characteristics of children who went through situations where they lost one or both of their parents is the development of “strength” as a defense mechanism.

This is both an advantage and a disadvantage, since although this will be a way to overcome Life's adversities but also open the door to over-demanding and closing ourselves off to the help of others.

Aira is a very strong and resilient person, both mentally and physically, this can be witnessed in fighting and in her ability to lead others, being able to make plans without getting carried away by her emotions like in the Space Globalist arc.

But as I said before, this is also a disadvantage since many times she over-demand herself and refuses to receive help from others and to do things on her own.

Characters like Jiji let her see this in a certain part, when she said that she could defeat the aliens on her own if they would just let her and Jiji told her that she couldn't do it alone.

Being used to and growing up with the idea that she has to be strong instilled by her father when she was little, makes Aira see this as the only thing she has known during her life, If she is not strong, she will not fulfill her promise.

With this in mind we can move on to the next point, her leadership and how she relates to others.

Her role as a leader and how she relates to others

How I addressed before Aira's strength and resilience helped her achieve a good role as a leader, despite being heavy-handed on many occasions, she cares deeply about her team members, constantly asking them to be careful, also trying to put her own needs aside to protect them.

You can see this in the Space Globalist arc, when she asks Momo to take care of herself, when she is happy to see that Mr. Shrimp is alive, when Mr. Shrimp wants to help her and she asks him to go see Jiji first.

This highlights the point of self-demand that she has and how she does not accept the help of others so easily despite being a team, since, again as I mentioned before, being strong and independent is what she has been from an early age.

This brings us to the last point, her relationship with others.

Aira was surrounded by superficial people for most of her life, who were only interested in the “perfect” facade that she had created, so this whole topic of genuine relationships, both friendship and love, is very new to her.

A great example of this is her infatuation with Okarun and the scene where he congratulates her for her great performance in battle, since it is something in which she genuinely makes an effort and she is not used to being given credit in that type of situation.

So when it comes to answering she wonders why. she wasn't being her “usual self,” even though at that moment she was being more genuine with herself.

Conclusion

Aira is an extremely interesting character, who has had one of the best developments in the play, although I failed to address many topics such as her ability to admit her mistakes.

I thought that they did not really come with the main idea of the analysis and I would like to address them more forward when she has more appearances.

I genuinely hope that Tatsu continues cooking with her and can become one of the best characters in the play.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post!!

I hope you found it interesting and do not hesitate to share your point of view with me. I will be very happy to read them!!!

[doublel27]

I think I started following you for TK and Carlos, but you're now one of my main sources of Buck and Eddie as well (because despite having never watched 911 I know who they are lol). And I honestly have become increasingly confused as to whether Buck and Eddie are actually together?? I know one of them is bisexual... but like... are they cannon? It is just a ship? What's their deal???

Oh my dear sweet summer child. You have opened a can of worms. Also, if you’re getting OG info from me then you’re getting a very narrow view.

BUT

Short answer: Buck and Eddie are not canon in terms of being in a romantic or sexual relationship.

However…what’s their deal? I’m glad you asked.

So it all started in season one, when 25 year old Evan Buckley was a hot mess express stealing fire trucks for hook ups with girls.

He then met a dispatcher almost twice his age named Abby who stalked him a little bit and he nearly died choking on a piece of bread but since our sweet summer child has both mommy and daddy issues he imprinted on her hard like a baby duckling

Her mom, who she had been taking care, of died and she went to Europe and promised she’d be back and left Buck staying in her house. (She would not be back gentle reader. But don’t worry it will come back around why this is important)

Season two starts up with a pining Buck and the entry of Eddie Diaz

This is literally our intro to him. Also What a Man is canonically playing as the soundtrack as Buck first lays eyes on him.

They speedrun enemies (onsided) to besties in a single episode.

Eddie has a son, Christoper.

Chris has CP and Eddie moved him to LA because this is where Chris’s mom ran away to when she left them.

Buck also imprints on Eddie and Chris, immediately helping them and getting Chris a home health aid. His sister jokes that he has a man crush and will finally maybe get over Abby. Eddie tries to get back with his ex-wife but she both neither wants to be a wife or a mom and is going to leave them again but gets hit by a car and dies.

And Buck and Eddie and Chris become increasingly more codependent.

Buck nearly gets crushed under a fire truck and can’t come back to work and babysits Chris during shifts and they almost die in a Tsunami and Buck thinks he did a bad job taking care if Chris but Eddie says there’s no one he would trust with his son more.

Buck tries to come back to work but he’s got blood clotting issues from nearly getting crushed by a fire truck and is bared from returning and therefore sues the department for wrongful termination (even though he wasn’t actually terminated he just couldn’t return to active duty). Then he couldn’t speak to anyone from the firehouse which led to the divorced dads era.

Angry, bitter fight in a grocery store with their coworkers ensues. Don’t worry it all works out and we go back to coparenting like normal.

Our boys are both unsuccessfully dating women and the queerbaiting accusations get tossed around. They are unfounded because 1. The show is written by queer people and 2. There have always been gay characters as main and recurring characters. They just all happen to be black. (See racism, lesbian erasure, and 911)

Things are going great until Eddie gets shot at work by a sniper right in Buck’s face.

[Gif redacted for trauma reasons]

It was highly traumatizing. Buck saves Eddie and Eddie is in a coma and Buck has to tell Chris and take care of him, you know, like a dad. Everyone points out he’s basically Chris’s other dad, not Eddie’s girlfriend who is also around sort of.

Buck confesses to Eddie when Eddie wakes from the coma that he wishes it was him that had gotten shot and died which is when Eddie reveals that would be really fucking dumb because Buck is who Eddie wants to take Chris if he dies.

Anywho. Everyone keeps dating women. Buck almost dies a few more times, and gets struck by lighting has an interesting coma carol and is obsessed with death. They remain co-parents of an adorable son.

Enter season seven and Tommy comes back into our lives. In the beginning it’s hard to see who he’s for, Buck or Eddie or just as a device. But he’s for Buck! There was rejoicing. Bi!Buck was no longer headcanon!

Buck comes out as bi, because you know, he thought it was normal for the first 32 years of his life that men were hot. Everyone knew that. Buck has a boyfriend now. People are mad it’s not Eddie. Fandom wars ensue and those of us that like both try our best to avoid the abuse to middling to terrible success.

Eddie has a girlfriend and then finds out that there is an exact doppelgänger of his dead ex-wife (told you she’d come back around) and begins having an affair with her on his current girlfriend. Everything blows up when he and doppelgänger wife are processing his ex-wife’s stuff and his girlfriend and son came home.

Chris leaves his dads and goes to live with his grandparents in Texas, and neither of them can convince him to stay. Eddie grows a terrible mustache. Buck continues dating Tommy. Interviews and canon keep calling Eddie straight but

We then find out that Tommy is the ex-fiancé of Buck’s season one obsession, Abby. Buck tries to process this with Tommy but Tommy has the most projecting ass low-self-esteem meltdown and breaks up with Buck.

Which brings us to now, two sad bestie coparents whose son is living in Texas.

And that’s what you missed on glee 911!

Did that clarify anything or just as confusing?

Canonically, IMO, they’re in a queerplatonic coparenting situationship with no sex, thus far.

What will happen next, gentle reader, who can say?

[fanficapologist]

Of Dragons and Maelstroms

Themes and Warnings: slow burn, enemies to lovers, blood, violence, explicit language, sexual violence, period-typical misogyny, sexual themes, smut, tension, marriage, jealousy, pregnancy, childbirth, miscarriage, attempted sexual assault, breastfeeding, major character death, divergent timelines

Summary: Following the crowing of King Aegon, second of his name, Lady Maera Wylde, eldest daughter of Master of Laws, is called to return to the capital to assist her old friend, Helaena, in becoming accustomed to her new role as Queen. As well as navigating the complexities of court and discrediting the accusations previously made about her, Maera must also face Prince Aemond, having not seen him in three long years. Once allies, their relationship is no longer what it was when they were children, and they must find a way to live together for the sake of the Crown.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Prologue

King Jaehaerys and his Queen Alysanne sired thirteen children during their reign. The bloodline of this tale starts with the seventh born and forth son of these children; Vaegon Targaryen.

Vaegon the dragonless was considered as sour in personality as he was uncomely in his looks, known to be more drawn to his books than the sword. When he came of age and could not find a suitable spouse due to his general lack of personality, his eldest brother Aemon, successfully married, proposed a young friend of his wife to Vaegon, the Lady Edme Whitehead. Jaehaerys urged Vaegon to take this opportunity in order to further the Targaryen bloodline. Vaegon agreed but stated that once he had done his duty and produced a child, he would return to his books and studies

The marriage of Vaegon Targaryen and Lady Edme Whitehead began with great expectations, a union meant to strengthen ties between House Targaryen and House Whitehead. However, as the years passed, the once-promising alliance turned into a somber reflection of lost hopes and broken dreams. Vaegon was a man of ambition and charm, but his heart remained fixated on his interest in astronomy and mathematics. He had little interest in the domestic matters of marriage. The young Lady Edme, on the other hand, had been raised with romantic notions of love and unity, envisioning a future filled with affection and companionship.

The vast differences in their personalities became apparent as their courtship waned. Lady Edme longed for affection and attention, but Vaegon seldom found time to share in the joyous moments of married life with her. Despite the strain, they maintained a facade of unity before the court and their subjects. However, their inner turmoil was evident to those who cared enough to observe.

It took Vaegon 8 months to consummate the marriage. Thankfully for the Lady Edme, once the marital deed was done, she became with child. Edme birthed small twin daughters, Gael and Viserra, but shortly after passed away from child-bed fever. Relieved he was now released from the confines of marriage, Vaegon placed his daughters in the care of Edme’s parents, Lord and Lady Whitehead. Vaegon beseeched the newly crowned king, Viserys the First for another life path. The understanding King, seeing his uncles misery, suggested a life at the Citadel whereby he could serve the realm with his extensive knowledge. As Vaegon had only produced daughters and emphasised the sickliness of the twins to the senior maesters, insinuating that they would not live very long anyway, the citadel was happy for the prince to take the vows, relinquishing him of all titles and duties.

Lady Gael and her sister Viserra grew near the shores in the south of the Stormlands. Despite their small statures and shyness, both Gael and Viserra carried the unmistakable air of Targaryen nobility, their silver hair and violet eyes serving as a constant reminder of their illustrious heritage. Under the loving guidance of their Grandparents, the girls received the finest education, learning not only the customs and traditions of their own House Targaryen and the mother tongue of High Valyrian, but also those of the Seven Kingdoms.

The allure of marrying Targaryen women, even for a small chance to lay claim to the iron throne, attached many suitors for the twin girls. Both were married when they came of age. Firstly was Viserra, to Lord Byron of Morne, a house known for having strong Naval forces on the Straits of Tarth, an island off the coast of the stormlands. Gael, when she finally flowered, became the wife of Lord Jasper Wylde, shortly after his first wife’s passing.

Lord Wylde and Lady Gael produced 4 children during their marriage. On the birth of the 4th child, neither babe nor woman survived. Upon Lady Gael’s passing, Lord Wylde once again had to search for another wife. The twin sons he had produced with Lady Gael both caught the pox one year and passed at the young age of four. The only proof of this union ever existing was the survival of the third child; a daughter, Maera; The Jewel of Rainwood

Aemond returned to King's Landing on his dragon, Vhagar, following his visit to Storm's End. The journey had been a success; he had secured the Baratheon's support with a marriage pact. But in his pursuit of power and revenge, he had inadvertently murdered Prince Lucerys, the beloved son of Rhaenyra. News of Lucerys's death spread like wildfire through the Red Keep upon Aemond’s return. King Aegon, who had never been fond of his sister's bastard son, couldn't hide his joy at the tidings. He saw this as an opportunity to solidify his rule.

Queen Alicent, Prince Aemond's mother, wept bitter tears of distress and horror, fully understanding the grave implications this tragedy would bring to their family. The bonds of trust and alliances were unraveling, and chaos loomed. Aegon's wife, Helaena, was deeply affected by the news. She entered trance-like states, muttering words that no one could make sense of. She refused to eat, drink, or find solace in sleep. Her mental and emotional state deteriorated rapidly, and her suffering was a weight upon the entire court.

Desperate to support her tormented daughter, Queen Alicent sought help from the Master of Laws, Lord Jasper Wylde. They reached an agreement to send Lord Wylde's eldest daughter, Maera, back to the capital. Maera was to assume a role of friendship with Helaena and offer her support as the new Queen. The Red Keep, once a place of power and intrigue, was now fraught with tension and sorrow. The death of Prince Lucerys had set off a chain of events that threatened to tear the Targaryen dynasty apart, leaving those within its walls to navigate treacherous waters of political maneuvering and personal grief.

Notes: Hello! First fic I’m ever uploading and here’s a little summary to set the scene. PLEASE NOTE: whilst there will be events from the Dance of the Dragons within the fic, the timeline will diverge to suit the story

Also like this isn’t real, none of this is real, the universe is a creation of George R.R Martin. My writing won’t be perfect but constructive (not cruel) feedback is always appreciated.

Thank you so much for reading! Comments, feedback, likes, and reblogs are greatly appreciated 🖤

[waywardmongergoopzine]

Ok so I have to get my opinion out about Cyn

In episode 5 we see how Cyn was a worker drone that was thrown away by humans and was offered absolute solver (as seen in this scene) to "wake up" after "sleeping" for god knows how long under a pile of dead drones (which is kinda traumataizing).

She was found and brought by Tessa in the mansion where she really couldn't do anything around the mansion because of her dysfunctional body and because of this she probably wasn't treated kindly by others (take J as an example) and was maybe also judged and disliked by everyone because of her dissability exept N.

He is/was always kind and understanding and saw her struggle and promised to be there for her and help her when she needs it, evolving their relationship into brother and sister.

Now, as we have already seen with Uzi in ep 4, stress/anxiety/negative feelings made her AS to act up and overheat really fast which caused her to transform into a monster who killed her classmates who where just terrible. They didn't even brother to learn her name and worst of all, they trusted N, her first friend who is a murder drone that is made to kill them, who they've just met like 10 seconds ago, more then their classmate.

In the mansion N was probably the single one who conforted her when she was stressed/sad/scared however the more time went by, the more torment was initiated by Tessa's abusive parents, and the AS slowly took over her mind and that's when she started becoming more agresive towords everyone and started doing gruesone experiments.

N, because he was always being by her side began witnessing the things she was doing and when she discovered that she began making backups of every drone so that her mission won't be compromised if someone witnesses her and/or she makes experimens on them and then kills them. (What if the first time she made a new N was after she accidently caused his death and then realised what she had done and wanted her brother to come back, this would be really tragic if this is the case but who knows 😭).

I personally belive in the theory that the Absolute solver (or The Solver of the Absolute Fabric or whatever it's named) is a hivemind that makes a pact with a drone that is in need (or maybe on the brink of death) and that's how it gains more power and gets closer to its goals. I think that it also accumulates the memories and the mannerisms of its hosts (which can explain some things). Also I think that it is trying/tried to do the same thing to Doll, Uzi, Nori and Yeva but their solver are independent so they cannot be taken over.

Cyn wasn't properly disposed of and was stuck unable to wake up ( you can say that she was left to die) untill the AS sent a masage telling her that it'll help her, that she seems sad, and in distress and it tells her that she won't be disposed of if she gives it acces to her system I guess

(This photo is, in my opinion, the biggest proof)

She was just a scared drone (perhaps a robot child as N says in ep 4 that they are children) that was trown away like a toy and now wnats revange on the humans that misstreat her kind. Cyn wants, like her brother, tobprotect the ones she loves.

Now

If you want some more proof about this watch this video on yt that explains the things that I'm saying:

(I don't know spanish at all but the subtitles are really hopefull) (Also it's a great video)

I'm sorry if there where many problems in this post or if the explanation wasn't so good.

I'll make some other posts about this and the plot of the series but idk when