#I probably won't get up and running until February

[impostoradult]

my stress level right now is sky high, and the fall of the Republic is like fifth in my priority list of concerns. which should emphasize just how stressed I am

[sweetlittlebrie]

After working on finding the Rose origin, I got curious about the Ames origin. As well as another nickname....

I went back to fanfiction to start my search! I didn't use Ao3, as that came into existence some years later of ff. net creation, and Deviantart has a horrible search function so I wasn't gonna look through there and it came a year or two after ff. net. I'll talk about other sources in a bit.

Searching through the ff by the publish date and with all ratings I started from the last page just looking through fanfics. Something I found interesting was how little Amy is used as a character in these stories and there are a few reasons why. Amy Rose hadn't made a huge appearance in any North American media since her first introduction of Sonic CD. There were other games like sonic r and fighters, but they weren't very big and didn't have a story to them.

So many early fanfics where Sonic has a romantic interest were with Sally, who was in the Sonic SatAM, which after it's cancellation, was followed by the Archie Comics. Meaning Freedom Fighters were a more common cast in stories, especially for Sally as the romantic interest.

Amy Rose wasn't 'brought back' until Sonic Adventure which released in NA 1999 on Dreamcast, then re-released 2003 for the Gamecube; Sonic Adventure 2 followed in 2001 on Dreamcast, then released on gamecube in 2002. Amy wasn't making regular 'cast' appearances until 2001, so it was rare to see her in fanfics and even more rare to have SonAmy stories on ff .net. Now, this could be false as personal sites/forums were still very popular and this could have been where Amy was making appearances.

!!! I have not properly read through all of these, so be cautious !!!

The first SonAmy I found was Happy Birthday Amy Rose! Published July 2000. This story is pretty quick, but it doesn't have the usage of Ames. It does have the other popular pet name of Sonikku used by Amy. (the author has used this as their pen name too)

After skimming through that fic, it got me curious about the usage of Sonikku, but I would have to dig through other fics to see if other characters used it and how they used it as well. As the most I can remember from my years of reading fanfics is to kinda mock Amy i.e. "Don't you want to go running to your darling Sonikku"

The next fic I found was A Normal Day Adventure! Published February 2001. Sonikku is used and Sonic even questions its usage of that petname. This is also where I found the early usage of Japanese word being. Not the typical 'sakura hedgehog' or 'two tailed kitsune' we see now, but like kawaii. This was the beginning of a trend in some stories and boy it was something!

And another review mentioned that this author used to have an angelfire site where they were originally posting their stories. As mentioned earlier, there's a whole area of fandom culture that we won't be able to access due to so many of these of these no longer being up along with forums that probably kept getting updated and slowly losing this information :( For all I know, these are where the usage of Ames and/or Sonikku became popular.

I only say that as an idea as looking through a few fanfics' reviews, no one really seems to question the usage of Sonikku or Ames. It just seems like it was accepted amongst fans.

I Don't Wanna Lose You Again published July 2001. It's another story using Sonikku and more Japanese words. Takes place after SA2.

In the Broken Moonlight published October 2001. An early SonAmy story and KnuxRouge. SonAmy is slowly getting more traction and since Rouge's appearance in SA2, she starts becoming a regular cast in fanfics too! Can't say this is her first appearance in a fic though, that's for someone else to find.

Return to Little Planet published December 2001. Sonikku is used....but Ames is finally found!!! In the second chapter, but then the third chapter could have been updated in May 2002 and then afterwards Ames get used again in ch.10 which could have been uploaded December 2003.

You Never Realize What You've Got published March 2002. Ames is used only once throughout, but it seems to be getting into a handful of people's heads lol

Everything You Know Is Wrong published November 2002. Early sonamy fanfic, but this one includes the cheating trope! Or Sally cheats on Sonic, so then he opens his eyes to Amy. I think this was an early trope back in the day, I don't think it gets used a lot now. Not to say it's anything bad, just another method to move the story.

Just thought I'd mention that sonamy was picking up more traction as a ship in 2002.

Innocence published AND completed August 2002! Very popular early SonAmy fic, with the interesting twist of making Shadow a baby. Ames is used a bit more often!! I think a total of six times?? No early reviews seem to question the usage either, so I think it was very much accepted in the sonic/sonamy fandom.

For True Story published October 2002. This one includes Ames, but skimming through it....I think we have the first and rare use of Shadow saying Ames. (please correct me if im wrong)

We get into January 2003 and Sonic's Black Op...is published with Sonic using Ames. He is using it fairly casually and then later romantically???(i'm skimming these stories! it's just too much to go through everything sometimes)

But this author has written Three Days also published in January 2003, where Sonikku and Ames are being used by both characters from friendly to romantic petnames. Canderous Ordo, the author for both fics, has other stories in which Sonic uses Ames.

Sonic Ever After published April 2003, A story where Ames is used by Knuckles and Tails. (psst, this is also a Tails x Amy fic)

This is where I'll end it. As I think by going forward, more authors started using Ames as nickname that either all characters use sparingly, or a nickname specifically used by Sonic.

I did find some other interesting fics

His Best Friend's Wedding published October 2000 has a background KnuxAmy romance!

You Are My One and Only published January 2001 is a sonally fic, but there is tails x amy! One of the earliest I was able to find.

Robotic Regeneration published in January 2001 has the rarest ship of Gamma and Amy. (in terms of robot romance; i didn't find or seek out any metal sonic x amy fics. someone can search for that)

Going through all of this, I don't think there was really any questioning of these nicknames.....unless it took place very quickly in a personal site or forum that we no longer have access to due to maintenance or websites no longer being registered. I think the Sonic fandom just accepted these nicknames in fanworks. I'm sure there were some works that used Ames and Sonikku sparingly and others that used it anytime in any sentence. I'm not sure if there was a fluctuation in popularity when it came to using these pet names(although I think Sonikku is used less frequently in fanworks) just more-so an authors preference.

There will be works that are no longer accessible to us or they're slowly being hidden/purged by individual authors or even the websites themselves. (damn you ff .net for getting rid of mature/nc-17 fics and hiding them now too!!!)

But hey, the fandom was able to make Ames popular enough to make it in Sonic Boom(unless i'm mistaken) and even in the IDW comics.

Anyways, if yall find anything that could be included in this then please don't hesitate to do so! Thank yall for reading!

[wings-of-ink]

Mini progress report, some ramblings and Patreon planning

Hello all! I just wanted to drop a note and check in. I haven't been around as much lately as I've had some busy things in my personal life going on (all good things, btw), and they've made me a bit sleepy. I have some asks baking in my inbox, but I will attend to them when I've got the energy saved up.

For now, I am still working on chapter 5 and she is a biggie. I do not know when the update will go through. I had hoped for October, but realistically it will probably be November. I'm giving myself some wiggle room since the season for me is shifting, and I often experience fatigue and some strong-sads when autumn/winter set in. I won't know for sure until it hits if I will be a sleepy mess or not, lol. Sometimes it doesn't hit until December.

Assuming I remain in good humor, I will be doing a lot of writing and testing in the coming days. Around this time last year is when I was finally writing the first chapter of GC. It really helped me get through the winter months, so I hope that this year will be much the same.

In fact, I found when I made the document for the outline and rough draft for the start of our story:

Between here and the very beginning of February 2024, I wrote the prologue and chapters 1 and 2 and then published them. This coming February, we should celebrate our 1 year anniversary, right?

Chapter 5 is coming along well. I've had a couple scenes that I want to go back over and refine since I either forgot something or they just didn't turn out the way I wanted. I have also written out an event that happens in chapter 7 which I am very (unreasonably) excited about. I could not help myself, it was burning a hole in my brain. It will, of course, develop a lot more after I have 5 & 6 actually done, but I can't wait until you get there.

Here is where Chapter 5 stands now:

This looks massive, but keep in mind there are two paths at the beginning of this chapter and each have unique events/consequences. Some of the text is shared here and there between them, and then they meet. This also includes code and such. I am at the mid-point of the chapter currently where there is a bit of downtime and the MC can get up to...a few things.

Such as this tease for a Duri-moment:

Just what are you two up to???

As for Patreon, if anyone is curious, I am still planning. The feedback I got from the poll along with messages and such have helped a lot. I am not sure when I will have things running since I am prioritizing the actual chapter writing while I've been busy with other things. Since my weekly schedule is going to be back to normal now, I can think about it more.

I have determined to take Patreon nice and slow. It will focus on just a few tiers to start (centered on only God-Cursed for the time being). From there, we'll grow things at a sustainable pace. Most were interested in extras (POVs & drabbles), so I will focus on those, early access, and spiciness. I had debated about starting this next year as opposed to, say, November or December. I may just shoot for whenever I have chapter 5 done. I feel like that's a good round place we can branch off from, and it will open up more flexibility in any bonus content I write.

I think that's all of what's been on my mind lately, and I've prattled too long as it is. I hope you are all safe and well!

Take care! ^_^

~ Lunan 🐦‍⬛

[melancholymorningstar]

Welcome to the first (hopefully annual) Femslash February podFic Edition 2024! This is a femslash focused podficcing event running all throughout February! (aka an event to convince people to make more femslash podfic)

Frequently asked Questions:

What is this event? A shameless plug to get me, MelancholyMorningstar, more femslash podfic

How do I participate? Make a podfic, not!fic, or filk featuring two (or more) women in a romantic and/or sexual relationship and post it to this collection!

Do genderswapped/trans characters count? Absolutely! Regardless of what canon says any character can be femslashed if you try hard enough

Can I post NSFW/darkfic content? Go for it! As long as you tag appropriately this collection will accept all works featuring f/f (or f/f/f, or f/f/f/f/+) pairings

If you feel like tagging is a fundamentally flawed system of posting fanworks, feel free to create femslash anyway and just not include it in this collection

When does this event run? All of February! This collection will remain unrevealed until the beginning of February (if you somehow manage podfic before then) and then remain open from that point onwards Inspired by @polypodweek this collection won't have a hard deadline, but if it is getting close to February next year you should probably wait for the next collection

Does this event have themes/prompts? Nope For this first year it's going to remain very vague and open, and we'll see how it goes for next year

But I really want a prompt list? Check out the ao3 tag cloud for inspiration! Additional Tag Cloud

I'm not going to have time/energy/motivation to make femslash podfic during February, how can I participate? No stress this is a very low key event, but if you'd like to participate you can: A) make a different medium of femslash work and post it to tumblr under the hashtag #femslashfebruary or the ao3 collection Femslash February (no affiliation) or, B) Find a femslash author and ask them to put up a Blanket Permission statement about their podficcing permissions Femslash fandoms tend to be very light on permission statements about whether people can make podfic without asking first You can even direct them to the Permission Statement Builder by flamingwell @flamingwell to make it super easy

[sailorspazz]

10 Dance - chapter 43, part 2 summary

Following a day of text conversations, the Shinyas finally get the chance to go out together as a couple. Their conversation reveals that they have some differing ideas about how their relationship should progress from here.

Full summary and highlight images under the cut.

Chapter 43, part 2: I Could Have Danced All Night

Published online on February 7th, 2025. Available to purchase on Comic Days, or rent for 10 days on Yanmaga.

Norman holds up the tablet as Suzuki greets Nino through the ongoing video call, while Aki freaks out a bit that the famous Nino Zolche is actually talking to them. Nino says that he'll be joining their training team soon, and will be in Japan within the week.

After handing over the tablet to Suzuki and stepping aside, Norman is approached by Saichi. Saichi sees him watching Suzuki talking to Nino, and says (in English) that Norman is actually a meddling yet kind man. Norman tells him not to address him with such poor pronunciation. He asks what his first name is, and Saichi answers that it's Takashi. He wonders whether he should call him Takashi or Saichi, and just as Saichi starts to answer with his last name, Norman starts calling him by his first name. Norman says that he heard Saichi tried to quit, but Max laughed and threw out his resignation letter. He then asks how Shun is doing, and Saichi replies that he's been hanging around his place, and also started going to the gym to blow off steam. Norman says that's probably because Saichi suggested that to him, and says that they both seem to be meddlers.

As time passes and the next day comes around, we see a series of what the Shinyas have been texting each other while apart. Suzuki asks questions like "What are you up to?" and "Did you make it home?", and the responses he gets in return are mostly one-word or other short answers. Suzuki sends a selfie with the message "Love you too", to which Sugiki thinks that he didn't say "Love you" in the first place. He texts back suggesting they should get something to eat together, which gets Suzuki excited.

They meet up at the same restaurant they visited in volume 1's special chapter "Samba de Men's Love" (it did not have a name back then, but is now called The Yanmaga Grill & Wine Bar, referencing the current publisher). Sugiki comments that it's hard to believe they're here together again, but interrupts himself as he's distracted by Suzuki, who has his arm around him and is repeatedly kissing his cheek.

He cautions that they shouldn't act so cozy in front of other people. Suzuki calls him "mi bebito" (my baby) and wonders why he's worried about that now. Sugiki grabs his hair and pushes him back, calling him "darling" and saying in English that he shouldn't be showing such an alluring and indecent looking face to anyone else. Suzuki questions if he's in any position to talk, since he's been provoking him. He implies that even just now it seems Sugiki was trying to get him to respond in his Caribbean Spanish-accented English (the last part of the sentence is spoken in said sexy accent), and Sugiki runs his thumb down to his lips, grabs his face, and kisses him.

Suzuki suggests that they get out of there, but Sugiki refuses, saying that he won't have sex with him until after the 10 Dance competition is over. Suzuki tells him not to tease him like that, but Sugiki insists that he means it. Suzuki internally spirals into negative thoughts, wondering about things such as how the selfies Sugiki sends all look the same, and it's possible that he can't be bothered to even take new pics for him and is just changing the backgrounds. He worries whether Sugiki actually loves him back, but Sugiki seems to sense what he's thinking about, and threatens that if he says anything stupid he'll have his way with him right then and there. Sugiki says that they have an important goal to work toward in the 10 Dance, but Suzuki argues that it'll be hard to focus on the competition like this. He warns Sugiki not to make light of him, and wonders if Sugiki thinks he's so caught up in love that it'll cause him to mess up. Sugiki replies that they're both caught up in it, making Suzuki blush.

A voice calls out saying it's been a while, addressing them as "amigos". Suzuki recognizes the man as Marcelo, the one who played guitar and sang while the Shinyas danced back in the "Samba de Men's Love" chapter. He says that thanks to them, the restaurant lets him play gigs there now. He asks if they want to do another number together, and simultaneously Sugiki thinks and Suzuki says aloud that they'd like to do a cha-cha. Marcelo starts to play, and before the Shinyas begin, Suzuki wonders what their connection will convey to each other now. When their hands join, both look stricken by the intensity. While the other patrons clap and cheer them on, Suzuki and Sugiki smile at each other as they finally reunite in dance.

Previous chapter: #43 part 1

Next chapter: there is currently no information on the next release date.

[studentessa-socit]

Lately I'm very anxious, I feel like there is too much things to do no matter how much I push myself.

That's probably because I'm not pushing myself to exhausion, I'm putting an effort in showing up every day, but my energy is slowly running out and I can't keep up with my ambitious goals.

The issue is that this semester is really demanding and lowing my standards won't help me with keeping up.

Also, technically the exam season has yet to start, and doesn't finish untill mid-february, so I have nearly 3 months still of all-in effort. And I am already getting tired and starting to panic.

I'm really terrified of burnout and am trying to be gentle with myself as much as I can, but I don't know how helpful it is since every break I take seems to make the pile of work bigger.

Also I'm struggling with self-esteem and self-worth and I'm very scared of a paper I have to write I don't think I have the skills to pull off.

So yeah, this is my mental state lately, please send either help or sympathy.

[cosmiclion]

An egg in the process of cracking 🥚

A design of younger Grell from my AU (she's about 20 here). I changed almost everything from her backstory since I first came up with this AU, notes (that I've been working on for months lol) under the cut.

(Also yes, I hid the hands behind the body because I didn't wanna draw them, don't mention it ☠️).

-Born in February 17th, 1863 in England, in this universe she's not a reaper but she's still not human.

-She's a werecat (I explored the concept for the first time in this post and I liked it so much that I ended up using it for my main AU). While werebeasts have a human form they are 100% nonhuman as the curse that turns someone into one fully alters their DNA. Adults are immune to the curse, which means if an adult gets bitten and survives they won't turn. However, cases of teenagers and younger surviving an attack aren't enough to properly determine up until which age a person can be affected. A child can also be born a werebeast as the curse can be passed to a fetus if a pregnant person gets bitten. The latter is Grell's case, as her mother got attacked during pregnancy.

-While she didn’t actually transform until her early teens, she did show feline traits from the beginning, such as a desire to hunt and chase small animals and moving objects, climbing trees or other structures, hiding in narrow spaces, etc.

-A homeschooled and pretty sheltered only child, with dead maternal grandparents, a dead father, an emotionally distant mother who eventually bailed on her and paternal grandparents who loved and spoiled her but didn’t really understand her on a deep level, Grell grew up angry and frustrated. She had always felt that something wasn't quite right with her, and when she slowly started to experiment to try to figure herself out she had no one to turn to. As a teenager she decided to just run away from home and leave everything behind. She knew she was leaving her grandparents to die alone but she didn’t care, she had never genuinely loved them anyway.

-She chose her own name AND surname, the first after a recurring comment by her German grandparents and the latter after a character from a book she liked.

-Struggles a lot with internalized misogyny thanks to a mix of her mother’s neglect and eventual abandonment and her grandparents only talking shit about said mother whenever they mentioned her, which greatly contributed to shape her views on motherhood and womanhood in general. Would love to have a child of her own but deep down that’s just because of her dysphoria, in reality she has very little patience for kids and is probably not the best parent material.

-Went through a phase of compulsive heterosexuality both when she thought she was a man and also after she realized she was a woman. Figuring out her orientation wasn’t any easier than figuring out her gender but she’s probably bi with a slight preference for men and masculinity in general.

-I still haven't come up with a story for what she does after leaving her home and before the main events, I only have some ideas. Like she's young when she goes out into the world, she's passionate and adventurous but also full of pent up anger. Also there's the small issue of her being a beast with a huge prey drive, being a trans girl in the middle of self discovery is harder when you're also learning about and trying to gain control of (or at least cope with) your literal wild side ☠️ I know that werebeasts' main driving force is hunger, and the longer they go without eating the more they revert back to a feral state. I'm tempted to make her go the serial killer route but in this case she doesn't have much control of her actions 🫢

-Her werecat form is based on a maine coon. When she first starts showing signs of therianthropy she doesn’t have much control of it, and transforming and becoming that big and rough looking makes her more dysphoric (even more so because “male” maine coons are bigger). Over time she starts accepting it and, as she discovers how powerful it makes her and all the things she can do with it and gains control of it, she fully embraces it as an important part of her.

-The only part of her feline form she cannot hide in human form are the teeth, no matter the form she takes she always has sharp fangs. This is a common trait of all werebeasts, some of them are self conscious about it and avoid smiling or opening their mouth at all while others are proud of it and will take any opportunity to flash their teeth at anyone (guess which one is Grell’s case lmao).

[cru5h-cascades]

LORE-fi Bag: Corrine's Journal (Part 1)

I have nothing else to say here besides pretty much this is the stuff that happened before the main story leading up to Corrine getting murked from the dead wife herself's perspective. Enjoy :D

November 10, 2014

While walking home after my shift at the restaurant today I found this one guy crying on the side of the road. He didn't have an umbrella or anything to keep him dry in the rain and he looked like he's seen better days. I asked him if he was okay but he only shook his head slowly. When I said he could stay with me he didn't say anything but he walked with me back to my apartment. I guess he has nowhere else to go. Poor guy...

So here we are now. I tried talking to him but he still wouldn't talk. Can he even talk? I guess I'll figure it out eventually. He's sleeping on the couch right now. I'll go clothes shopping for him tomorrow. I'm pretty sure he's homeless. I think it's gonna be a while until he can go off on his own. As long as he isn't a weirdo I'll let him stay here. Now that I think about it I should probably clean up the spare room here. I think he'd probably like that better than sleeping on the couch.

November 17, 2014

So he's been here for a week now. He has some new clothes. The spare room's all cleaned up for him but he still chooses to sleep on the couch. He has a huge appetite (either that or he hasn't had a proper meal in a long time). He still won't talk to me, though, not even by writing things out for me to read. I really wonder what's going through his mind. I just wish I knew...

December 2, 2014

Mom and Dad found out I dropped out of college. To say they weren't happy would be an understatement. They wanted me to go back to Greensburg. Fat chance. Yesterday during my break when they called me I told them that I wasn't going back there. What they wanted for me wasn't what I wanted in life. I don't want to live just to do what they want me to do. I made sure they had no way of contacting me after the call. I blocked their numbers, both their personal and work emails, all of it. Thank god they don't know my address. I walked back home crying and vented to what's his name about what happened. I didn't expect what happened after I told him about that to... well happen. He went into the kitchen and made a mask thing out of a paper bag, put that mask over his head, and did some silly little dance to try to cheer me up. I was sooo confused at first but it was funny either way. This was actually my first time hearing his voice.

I finally asked for his name then (took me long enough, huh?). Emio. Or at least that's what he'd rather have me call him. Later that night he told me about his past and... he's been so much. Bad house life. Lost his little sister. Running away from his shit hole home just to get away from his dad. Spending months out on the streets. I guess that makes the both of us runaways. He told me has nowhere else to go and thanked me for letting him stay.

Today he's a bit more talkative for some reason. Maybe opening up about my past helped him open up about his. Made him feel less alone. He's been looking at my keyboard lately. Is he interested in learning piano? Does he even know how to? Only one way to find out I guess. If he is... maybe I'll teach him...

December 20, 2014

So apparently Em's blind as a bat. He got glasses today. I'm pretty sure he can actually see the sheet music I'm showing him when we're practicing now. Speaking of him learning piano, Em's a quick learner! He already knows how to play Daisy Bell! While I'm not actually teaching him he's been trying to play the song I wrote a while back without sheet music. He seems pretty determined to learn how to play. One day I wanna get a grand piano for the both of us. Sure the keyboard we have right now is fine but I think it'd be neat to have a good grand piano here at home.

February 15, 2015

We got a new piano at the restaurant and I asked the boss if she'd let me bring the old one home and she said yes! When Em saw that big old piano for the first time he lit up. That's what I like about Em. He has a sense of childlike wonder. He's silly. He's been messing around with the new piano for the past two hours trying to play some songs and make some of his own.

We called the piano Felix. I know, naming an instrument is kind of weird but screw that! It's not like we're the first people on earth to name our instrument.

March 6, 2015

Happy birthday to me!! Anyways, Em got a job yesterday. Ghost tours! Not sure why he went for that job in particular but hey it's nice to see the guy gain some more confidence. Some of the honeysuckle bushes we have in the community garden have started blooming and I took a few flowers with me. When I told Em that the flowers were edible he went through almost all the flowers I had brought home today. God what have I done lol... Guess I'm going to have to bring more home next time I get the chance to. Now that I think about it I think there's honeysuckle bushes growing right outside the apartment that haven't started blooming yet... oh boy when Em finds out...

June 10, 2015

So Em's been here for more than half a year now. I was thinking about just letting him stay until he could make enough money for himself to get an apartment for himself and whatever but I think he likes it here. And I like having him around. Honestly the apartment was way too quiet before he came here. I'm going to let him stay.

Alongside me teaching Em how to play piano (speaking of he's learned more songs, including the one I made!), I've been teaching him English, too. And he's helping me improve my Japanese. Like with learning piano he's picking up English quickly. The way he speaks and writes in English kind of reminds me of this one teacher I had when I was in Greensburg. Sophisticated. Rarely using slang even if I taught him some. I don't mind, though. It's pretty suave. I like it.

Em... you're a man of many talents. I can't wait to see what you get up to as time goes by. But my god could you at least have the decency to leave me some honeysuckle flowers to eat myself?? Hahaha

[scarlet--wiccan]

Sorry if this is an annoying question, but how is the scarlet witch comic doing with sales right now? I’m worried it might get canceled because of a tweet the writer posted like a year or more ago that the series wasn’t doing too hot (apologies if this is too vague). That being said I’m not going to buy any of the comics due to the boycott.

You are no less capable than me of looking up sales information on your own.

As far as I know, the book is guaranteed another six issues, including this month's. There are listings for up to #10, plus the trade paperback. It's too soon to say what will happen after that-- it's almost half a year away. We probably won't get a clear idea of what's next until February, January at the earliest.

Generally speaking, books like Scarlet Witch-- a solo title for a character who, popular though she may be, has never had a long-form ongoing series-- are always in danger of getting cancelled. Sales are a big part of that, but it's honestly pretty arbitrary. I do remember Orlando saying, pretty early in the run, that he wasn't sure how long the series would go for, and reminding readers that preorders are the best way to guarantee its longevity. That might sound grim, but it's unfortunately pretty normal. I believe in this case, it was in response to a fan question along the lines of "will we see so-and-so," with the answer being, "if the series runs long enough and there's time to include them, but it's too soon to promise anything." Again, that's a standard outlook for this type of book.

So, if you're thinking of a post from last year, that might be what you're remembering. It doesn't mean the book was doing poorly, only that keeping the sales numbers up is, unfortunately vital. And right now, if you count both volumes of SW, plus Scarlet Witch & Quicksilver, Orlando's run is set to break a record at 24 issues, and has been consistently in publication for two and half years, with only a brief hiatus in the middle. That's the longest ongoing title Wanda's ever had, by a significant margin. I think that's a sign of success, and I'm grateful for it, no matter where it ends. I wish more people were focused on that.

I do think that relaunching the series in the middle was a mistake, and it definitely makes the numbers look worse than they are. The most recent issues have not been top sellers, but that decline is not unusual at this point in a longer run. But people on social media, particularly twitter, have a really bad attitude about this book and are constantly going out of their way to create a negative atmosphere in the fandom. Fearmongering that the book will be cancelled is absolutely a part of that. It's not worth engaging with.

[fountainpenguin]

Recent 'Fic Progress 'n Stuff

I'm in a very busy period of my life right now, so updates may become sporadic, but here's some news I have for now!

Fandoms discussed: MCYT, Total Drama, WordGirl, Fairly OddParents

MCYT - Typically updates Tuesdays

- Aiming to post something for the Pixels Imperfect series on Tuesday, but don't be alarmed if it doesn't happen.

-> I'm in this weird zone where my chapter for Herobrine's Guide to the Between Dimension is complete except for the map I'm almost done with, but I'm having some artist block getting the map where I want it, so... I might hold off a bit until I'm happy with it. It's not bad, but I'm struggling with clean-up and labels.

-> Really good progress on my next Dog's Life chapter. In a weird zone of hesitating over whether I'm going too far with X or Y. Needs more attention, but I'm really happy with what I have so far. Very exciting! I did some doodles that I'll post under the cut :)

-> High likelihood of skipping this next Tuesday of posting, which gives time to let Collector's Fee sink in anyway (Plus I did a double update for Dog's Life at the start of August for its anniversary and that was probably too much for me), but we should be back the week after :)

- Herobrine's Guide will go on hiatus after Chapter 14 (the next chapter to post is Chapter 11) because that's where the buffer runs out. At that point, we've finished all world lore (except the Hels stuff that goes in the Additional Info final chapter). That's where we enter the bestiary, and they're huge chapters I want to ensure are consistent all the way through. So... I need to finish all the bestiary chapters before posting the first one :'D. A lot of work is done, but a lot still left to do!

-> Since I've been posting Herobrine's Guide during Dog's Life's intermission, we just won't have Tuesday updates for a bit. I think I'll switch to finishing The Candles We Light (and Should Regret) & Top 10 Hanahaki Life Hacks (#8 Will Shock You), which I started during Guess the Author.

-> Comparatively, they're shorter projects and it would be nice to finish them instead of leaving them hanging. That should work well, but we may have a period of no Tuesday updates during this adjustment period.

- Dog's Life is still on soft hiatus through to January or February 2025. It's between Sessions 2 and 3 right now and that hasn't changed. At this time, it posts once a month (although as mentioned, there may be a slight delay in the next chapter, but we had a double update on August 1st, so no surprise :))

-> When Dog's Life resumes, it will most likely be once every two weeks instead of every week. I really enjoyed posting weekly, but I have to admit it's A Lot. I was able to do that when hyperfixating on it as the only fandom I was posting consistently for, but I'd like to roll it back for 2025. Considering I post chapters above 10k words, I think it's fair; weekly updates was a lot. Final decision will be made when we actually reach 2025!

- We know Grian's working on Life Series Season 6 and that he said it would be a while. When that drops, I expect to do liveblogs and maybe one-shots depending on inspiration.

Total Drama - Currently updates Wednesdays and Saturdays

Life of a Loser is getting close to its end! Once it's done, we'll switch to posting one TD 'fic a week (probably) until they're all posted. Leaning towards posting on Wednesdays or Thursdays. Subject to change.

You can subscribe to the Riddle's Drama AO3 series if you want those emails. If you are only subscribed to Life of a Loser but you want to continue seeing more of my TD work, now is a good time to subscribe to the series, as basically everything from here is one-shots.

Reminder: I wrote these works between 2013 and 2016. I'm moving them to AO3 for archive purposes. You can leave comments or send me Asks if you want to chat about these works or their worldbuilding, but my knowledge of the show ends after Ridonculous Race; I didn't watch Total Dramarama and I don't know anything that came after it.

My Total Drama works will continue posting for the rest of 2024 and into 2025. I don't anticipate writing more works for this series, although if I had infinite time, I'd be interested in finishing the ones I started and left unfinished (because Leonard, my beloved).

WordGirl - On hiatus

Still on hiatus for now! Was hoping I'd be able to post more for it before the end of 2024, but that was pushed back by a very busy summer, which led to me not getting the Frayed Knots buffer where I wanted, and Frayed Knots has priority.

These works are not discontinued (I've been working on Factor It In since 2018 and I'm not dropping it now, lol). They're just on break, because I'd prefer leaving them on break and returning with a buffer over random updates.

I do have some one-shot drafts I've been sitting on, and I might clean and post those, but my attention's pretty divided between IRL, MCYT 'fics, and FOP right now, so this isn't super likely.

Factor It In has a serious vibe, as it's a realistic exploration of superhero life and biology, and there's also, like... no death or serious injury in it. I'm currently interested in things that are either wackier or angstier, but I look forward to coming back to it when I'm ready to be serious again. I genuinely like these 'fics a lot, including my WIPs, but it's an exciting time for FOP fandom right now and I want to enjoy it :)

If you want updates for my WordGirl 'fics, you can subscribe to Heroes' Journey or 28 Million Degrees. And you can always send me Asks if you want to!

Fairly OddParents - AO3 updates on Fridays, plus I've been posting on the blog any day of the week

- New cover arts for Frayed Knots and Origin of the Pixies are done! Their new announcement posts will go up soon, as I wanted to get all the 130 arc covers done first (for reverse tag scrolling purposes).

I did these two first and I think they're my favorites <3 These will replace their existing covers in their respective 'fics, and these are the posts that will be linked to when discussing these projects (Ex: I need to clean my FOP 'fics page and these will go there).

Reblogs always appreciated for cover / announcement posts, but no pressure! These are messy 'fics and not to everyone's tastes.

- I've committed to the name City Lights AU for my New Wish works. I'm REALLY excited for the "arranged marriage & not in love but we're going along with it anyway because this is what we do as upper class kids" trope I've set myself up with... for reasons...

- The AU guide is complete and will be posted after I finish Hadley's full sideblog profile, as I want her to be linked on it.

- I... emotionally cannot post Hadley's profile until I clean the freakin' blog, because I HATE what the update years ago did to bullet points, so I'll see if I can make some time for the sideblog. I have to go back and change them all to indents with dashes, like I've been doing in my posts over here... and I still have to fix all the broken masterpost links (which broke during the same Tumblr update from years ago). Gonna be a pain, but...... :'D The things we do for love.

- I went through my drafts and it looks like I do have some lore and reference posts that can be cleaned and posted for the sideblog, which would be nice; I have more to work with than I thought.

I can also do things like post the Fairy School Schedule on the sideblog instead of on a Google Doc. Up until now, it was relying on the doc for color coding (for ease of reading), but now we have color-coded posts, so it can go on the blog directly. - Also ?? it turns out I never actually compiled my multiple posts on Fairy aging into a single post, and thus the detailed info never made it on the sideblog. -> I compiled an age chapter for today's "So, You're Studying the Cloudlands..." update (i.e. I'd had the development charts there as placeholders since the start, but I really wanted actual info too) and that will become a sideblog post in the future.

- Somewhere in the depths of my literal 2,400 drafts on main blog is some sideblog stuff that I saved as drafts here instead of there, and one day... I will find it. But we'll talk about that again after my A New Wish liveblog is done.

I'm also going to change the sideblog's mentions of Riddleverse Classic to Cloudlands AU, now that it has a real name. Just... finally coming back and power washing everything before I risk posting anything new that attracts new eyes while the blog is messy, haha.

Technically the term Riddleverse 'fics covers all my AUs, so some mentions will stay (like things that say "contains Riddleverse spoilers"). However, this should make things more clear.

I had a lot of self-censorship internalization and general nerves when I was working on the sideblog back in the day, but I'm a lot more "cringe and free and I'm gonna make it everyone's problem" now than I was a few years ago, so it'll be nice to move on from those memories and learn to enjoy the blog again.

- I also feel happier with my art and writing styles now compared to where I was in recent years. Looking forward to blowing the dust off and polishing stuff nicely! I'm not going to try to keep future profile arts consistent with the old arts, so it'll be what it'll be.

Heavily leaning towards redesigning my adult Chloe, as I was never that attached to her, and I want to slightly tweak my Timmy and Cosmo to better fit my current art style. Debating whether to add Anti-Wanda's scars. Also need to do a scar ref for H.P. since he has a huge one on his cheek I rarely draw because I always seem to draw him facing the other way, sdklj... Someday...

- I had a lot of IRL stuff happen in recent years that was similar to things happening in my FOP 'fics and I wasn't able to truly enjoy them for a while. A New Wish brought back a lot of my excitement for the series and I feel like I'm healing a lot in regards to being able to enjoy FOP :)

I'm excited to share the arc guide and start outlining 'fics.

- As previously mentioned, I've cleaned the 130 Prompts summaries page so it's up to date with 2024 plans. Also, I've finished all the arc guides and made a new cover image for the project!

- I'd like to kick off Arc 3 of the Prompts with a piece about Dale shortly after "Nectar of the Odds" - "#96 - You Deserve It." The piece after that will loop back to the "Am I adopted?" drama Poof went through in Arc 2, and it'll be fun! I'm really excited :)

- Frayed Knots is high priority, but it's also a massive project requiring lots of brain power, so it'll be nice to sprinkle lighter one-shots in between.

- Great progress on Frayed Knots! Things are really coming together. Might post one chapter soon, but the next few need more attention. Still hoping to build a proper buffer, but it's a slow process.

-> I... think I'm going to take the plunge and commit to dropdown chapter warnings for Origin and Knots, the way I do for my MCYT multi-chapters :'D Will this be exhausting and require a lot of rereading? Yeah, but it makes me feel less self-conscious (and it helps me quickly check each chapter to confirm I know what's in it). So... That'll be going on in the background, but expect it to take a while. It will not be fast.

-> Next chapter gets a standalone E-rated version, like we did for "Cageflight" back in the day. As previously stated, Frayed Knots maintains it's T and/or mild M rating despite now being classified as Not Rated; E-rated content will always be posted separately. And this one's pretty intense, so prepare emotionally before reading.

/whispers loudly - It's the big "raised in a culture where sex is done for ceremony" vs. "longing for passion and ready to ask for it" clash we've been waiting for... I finally am happy with my blocks for this scene. Just pulling it all together. It feels SO FUN to finally write the ceremonial bits of their culture as a proper ceremony explored onscreen. It's always been hypothetical... sdfljksdflkj...

This chapter is called "House of Cards." The standalone will be titled the same, and these are the AO3 series that will get the email notification:

Rainbow Train -> Not in the 130 Prompts

Red Train -> Suggestive / explicit

Orange Train -> High fantasy (Deep-dive into Anti-Fairy culture)

Subscribe or ignore at your preference, but there's your heads up. And obligatory reminder that this is a 'fic about a protagonist who has hypersexuality and we explore that more now that he's an adult than in the earlier chapters when he was younger.

Anti-Cosmo being hypersexual, bipolar, pan, AND ace, AND carrying trauma from a past life, and VERY confused about attraction, you will always be famous to me <3

As we know, Origin of the Pixies is all the way up to the war chapters, so it's on hiatus until Knots catches up. From there, we'll alternate between H.P. and Anti-Cosmo POVs through the war! Very exciting.

Knots still has to get Anti-Cosmo through his first meeting with Cosmo (who still has to hit Wanda with his car in line with "Cosmonopoly"), then through godparenting schooling & into a high rank in Anti-Fairy World (in line with his appearance in the truce flashback of "Balance of Flour"), but we're getting close!!

Also as previously stated, I might get around to posting some sensual / sexual stuff for FOP that I wrote as character studies and warm-ups back in the day, but...

I cannot emphasize enough that these delve into really heavy topics like consent violations, setting up a plot about being underage and desperate that will later crash and burn, and sexual trauma, and they're not necessarily sexy or fun to read, so just... [obligatory I Write Trauma & Morally Gray Characters In 'Fics For The Show About Trauma & Morally Gray Characters reminder].

But I do think there's really interesting stuff in here in terms of character studies and I wouldn't mind having them available, if for no other reason than because I've lost them multiple times and would enjoy having a place to find them.

-> Those all go in Red Train and Rainbow Train. Again, subscribe or ignore at your preference. They are not part of the 130 Prompts (which are strictly G and T works).

-> These are certainly not necessary reads in order to "keep up with what's happening" to the characters. Anything you need to know for their plot arcs is in their G and T stories. This is just bonus stuff for people who're interested in... The Horrors.

That's all I have to say for now! Thanks for reading!

Doodles for the upcoming Dog's Life Chapter 41 and/or 42 depending on where I cut it

Mild spoilers depending on how good you are at deciphering these out of context:

[nokingsonlyfooles]

The menus don't work, the menus don't work, the menus DON'T WORK...

OK, my few readers. I took a break, I went back to fix the navigation, it's unfixable as-written.

I need some complex stuff in places, I was willing to forgive WP for putting out a new site editing interface that barely works - as long as it has the basic features someone would use on a storefront. I'm an outlier. I know this.

BUT IT IS NO LONGER POSSIBLE TO CREATE A MENU WITH A WORKING SUB-MENU IN IT. IF YOU TRY, THE SUB-MENU LINKS ARE UNCLICKABLE.

I am using their site editor and their 2024 theme, I should say.

I crossed my fingers and looked for the (now liable to vanish from anything more complicated than a paragraph) "edit as html" option. Nope! It's gone! I can't fix it. I would have to hack the interface somehow to fix this for WordPress, within WordPress.

I had to go looking for plugins. I HAD TO GO LOOKING FOR 3RD PARTY SOFTWARE TO GET A FUNCTIONAL MENU. And, of course, they paywall features I need. I found a "floating" menu that actually does work well enough (it's a little cramped on mobile unless you put the screen in landscape mode, but at this point you should really do that anyway, I can only format so much) but the sub-menu function is paywalled. And I'm actually fucking tempted to buy (haha, I mean "rent") it. Because the damn thing works in dark mode and across devices. And it sticks to the side in a fairly unobtrusive way, which WP's menu will not. It won't stick anywhere. And it sure as hell won't do that thing where you scroll up and it plops down for your convenience.

But if I use that floating menu without sub-menus, it's gonna get longer, and longer, and longer, until it doesn't fit on your mobile screen anymore, or potentially your tablet or desktop, and then I dunno what happens. Also, in order to keep it small, everything is a cryptic icon that displays a title when you tap it (on mobile) or hover over it (on desktop). That's kinda counterintuitive, I don't know if I want my one working menu to be like that.

I might keep looking and find another plugin that also works that well but... it's not likely. Or, if I do, I may run into another paywall. They gotta get their rent somehow!

This is a stupid problem and so far I am unable to come with with a non-stupid solution. I can:

Put all the links in the header menu, and you'll have to scroll through EVERYTHING to find the actual content every time.

Put all the links in the content area, in different places and different combinations depending on the page. (And this would mean doing some reformatting on every instalment AGAIN.)

Start fucking around with the sidebar - I don't know if it works and I'd have to rip up every template I've already made to add it.

Put all the links in the footer menu, and nobody will notice them.

Put all the links in the floating menu (see above for the issues with that).

Make sub-pages for Misc/Notes and similar that are just lists of links and serve the function of a sub-menu.

Actually put the content on the sub-page and have it navigable via anchors (this seems like it would be a bitch to load, but most of my content is just text).

Make a list of links that isn't actually tagged as a menu, thus losing the collapsible function for small screens.

Kill God.

That last one is probably the most doable but I feel like someone would get mad at me. Like, Hazbin Hotel finally got its first season on Amazon, and if God dies they might have to rewrite some shit.

If I don't lay out the money for the cryptic icon menu, we're probably going to end up with three or four accordions that are not technically menus at the top of every page. And I'll hafta check back every once in a while to see if WP fixed their shit yet.

If they don't stick with that site editor and make it useable, all this work is going to vanish like chalk marks in the rain.

I WANTED to put up another six-pack in February. I have it ready to go! But the site doesn't work. If I can't fix it this week, I won't even be able to put things up without illustrations. And forget having time to fill in the missing artwork. I got enough to do trying to kill God!

[player1064]

Feb 2016 (becks) 🥺🙏🏽

WIP asks but it's just the various sections of my happy (???) beville (/angsty carraville) WIP

---

February, 2016.

Gary doesn't pick up, the first time David tries to call him. It doesn't even ring, just goes straight to voicemail.

It's not surprising. Gary's always struggled, after a loss. And this was a very big loss. He's probably turned his phone off, gone straight back to the hotel to drown his sorrows with a - sensible, always sensible even now - single glass of wine.

He leaves it for a couple of hours, gives Gary some time to mope. I won't sleep well tonight, he'd said in the post-match press conference. David will be surprised if he sleeps at all, he knows what he's like: the guilt and shame will have him tossing and turning all night long, until he'll eventually give up and go find a treadmill to run on until his legs give out.

David's memories of Camp Nou are all good. He's only played there a handful of times, only beaten Barcelona there once, that season he was with Madrid. But that's all irrelevant, because for David, for any of his old United teammates, Camp Nou was the setting for one of the best nights of his life. And now that's been ruined for Gary.

When he calls again later that evening, he listens to the phone ring and ring, far longer than he's come to expect from the man glued to his phone. And when Gary picks up there's no greeting, just the sound of his shaky breaths on the other end of the line.

"Gaz?"

He hears a choked sob, then a sniff and a "hi, Becks."

This… this is unexpected. Gary doesn't cry, not ever. A bit, last summer when he lost his dad, but even then it was only when he and David were alone in their hotel room in Australia, his face pressed against David's chest while silent tears rolled down his cheeks.

David doesn't really cry either, now that he thinks about it. He's not sure what that says about either of them.

He tries to keep his tone light now, asks jokingly "why so glum? Your team lose or somethin'?" which should've made Gary give a feeble sort of laugh but instead just earns him another muffled sob.

More seriously, he adds "it's only football, love. It's only football."

"Yeah. Right," Gary says quietly. There's a slight echo to his voice, like he's calling from a bathroom or something.

"Are you out somewhere?" David asks, which feels like an embarrassing question when even the thought of him going out after a loss goes against a quarter of a century's knowledge about Gary.

"Wha? Oh, no. No, I'm at the 'otel, just - felt a bit sick, is all. Been campin' out in the bathroom for a little bit."

David's gut twists with guilt. "Say the word, Gaz, and I'm on the next plane over there. This time of night, I reckon I can be at your door in less than four hours."

It's an empty promise, not because he wouldn't go - David would quite readily run all the way to Spain if that was the only way to get there - but because he knows Gary will say no. Because Gary is far too proud to admit he needs other people, even his bloody husband. And because Salford has a game tomorrow, and Gary would lose all respect for him if David skipped out on watching it just to fly to Spain for a bit of a cuddle.

They sit in silence for a few moments, David listening to Gary's shaky breaths slowly start to even out.

"Can I ask you somethin', David?" Gary asks after a while, clearing his throat awkwardly.

"Of course," David replies without a moment's hesitation. "Anything, always. You know that."

"Yeah." He hears Gary's uncomfortable chuckle, can just picture the way he's probably running a hand through his hair right now. "Yeah, I - I dunno, it might be stupid. Tell me if it's stupid, Becks, but lately I've - I've been thinkin', about Spain. I mean, obviously I've been thinkin' about Spain, see, stupid, but I mean - I've been thinkin' about Madrid."

David's been thinking a lot about Madrid lately too. Hard not to, when the man you love has fucked off to Spain and there's not a damn thing you can do about it without being marked a hypocrite because you did the same.

He'd hated Madrid. He'd loved Madrid. Both things can be true. He sometimes wonders what his life would look like now if United hadn't recalled his loan at the end of that season, if they'd sold him for good. Though who knows, maybe that wasn't an offer that Madrid had on the table. Maybe he was always going to end his career at Manchester United.

"I miss you more, this time around," David says gently. "Never would've thought that'd be possible, but. There you go."

"Yeah." Gary chuckles again, still uncomfortable. Like that's not the end of his thought, like the worst is still to come. "I just - I always wondered, an' I know it's stupid, so like - but I always wondered, like. D'you remember valentines, that year? With the - the red card, and the international break, and - but before all that, when you sent all them presents for me to Old Trafford? I - I dunno, I keep thinkin', lately, about somethin' Roy said that day. That maybe you felt guilty about somethin'."

David has had twelve years to anticipate this conversation, but the question still makes him wince, still feels like it's causing him physical pain.

He'd been all alone out there. He didn't know any Spanish, couldn't speak to any of his teammates. Back in Manchester, Gaz had lost his form, it was obvious even on a TV screen a thousand miles away, so David had been tiptoeing around him in all their calls, careful not to rock the already unstable boat.

So he'd had nobody. That's his excuse, and it's a weak one. Gary deserves better than that.

"I love you," he says quickly, even though they both know that's not a valid answer. "I've loved you my whole life."

"Becks."

"It only happened once. I can barely remember what she looked like. It was just once, Gaz, swear on my life. An' I felt sick after, for weeks and weeks."

"Alright." Gary lets out a long, shaky breath. "Yeah, alright then. Yeah."

"Gaz -"

"Think I already knew, didn't I? But I think it's good, that - at least now I can stop wonderin'."

"I love you."

"Yeah." Gary sighs again. "Night, David."

*

Felt a bit sick, Gary had said.

It's probably just coincidence.

[astral-athame]

((Life for me has pretty much been: Wake up at 8am. Desperately try to get more sleep until 9 (usually I doze off for, like, 2 or 3 minutes at a time and that's it). Get ready for work. Leave between 9:30 and 9:45. Work from 10-1:30-ish (it's supposed to be until 1:15 but I'm never out of there on time). Get home around 1:45. Leave for work part 2 around 2:30. That goes from at least 3-7, usually closer to 7:20 when I finally leave (sometimes stay until 8 or 9). Get home between 7:30 and 7:45. Make a quick dinner, shower, etc. Around 8:30, watch Ba.tt.le.st.ar Gal.act.ica with a couple of friends (if things work out, this couple may eventually be more than just my friends, but we'll see how that goes ^^;) until about 10:30, then chat with them for a bit after that, usually until almost 11. Bedtime routine (wash face, brush teeth, etc etc). Then stare at drafts until midnight when I realize I need to get to bed because I know I'll be up earlier than I need to be. Then the weekends have consisted a lot of babysitting, running errands, and trying to finish unpacking here and there because it's been 4 months and finding time to unpack has been a pain in the ass with everything that's constantly going on. Also, I spent 3 hours on Saturday putting together a kitchen cabinet- thankfully we have extra screwdrivers because the phillip's-head screwdriver they included was such bad quality that it was messed up and unusable less than half an hour in because the metal of it was so soft -_-

ANYWAY- Work both shifts the rest of the week (except Friday, but only because I don't have to do the second shift, still have the first). Saturday we're going out for my dad's birthday (which was actually last week, but we couldn't make things work for going out last weekend like we'd wanted to). Saturday night is also game night, as usual. Then Sunday I *should* have some free time, but I also desperately need to get some cleaning done that's being semi-neglected throughout the week. So what I'm saying is Sundays are chore days.

If things go well, I should, soon, only be working the first shift in another week or two (with the second shift just being Fridays and when absolutely needed)? Right now both my sister and I are stuck doing the second shift every night (and have been since before mid-winter break last month) because the custodial staff is down two people (one girl broke her leg and has been out since October, I think? And the other has been on temporary (paid) probation since early February while they consider whether or not to fire him and go through all the legal jargon of all of that). But they should be coming to a decision about that soon, I would hope, which would mean that if he gets to come back, then we won't be working nights unless someone calls out. And if he doesn't come back, then they should be hiring someone to fill his place so we'll just have to wait until someone snags the job (hopefully, in that case, they'll offer it to my sister first because usually they try to offer it to substitutes and she really wants it, but we'll see). They're also slowly running out of budget for substitutes, so, that's something to consider, too.

ANYWAY- TL;DR: I've basically had no writing time / personal time and that's why I've not been around. Hopefully work stuff will calm down soon because leaving the house around 9:30am and not really getting to be home until usually after 7:30pm (sometimes 8:30pm or 9:30pm) has been exhausting ^^;

I'll try to be around on Sunday (probably focus on Rogue's blog because I've been writing the fic in my head at work most nights so I have a lot of muse for her AND her blog has been sorely neglected for at least a few months now WHICH MAKES ME SO MAD AT MYSELF). If I can even get one or two asks done, then I'll consider that an accomplishment at this point!

I'm so sorry about the long absence. I'm sorry to everyone for neglecting replies. I'm sorry to everyone I was writing with and haven't had the time / social and physical energy / emotional capacity to reach back out to in a while. That's on me. I dropped the ball on that. I've never been good at ooc communication anyway, tbh. I was really hoping things would be a little bit calmer after I moved, but instead they went in exactly the opposite direction and haven't really slowed down any since November. In fact, they've just gotten more hectic over the last few months ^^;

I adore you all so much and I really do hope that I can get back to writing soon. I've been missing it (and all of you) terribly.

Take care and I'll try to be around soon <3))

[spiceofvy]

quick notice about upcoming content

hey guys, just wanted to give you some quick information about my upcoming writing, and why you maybe won't hear from me for some time.

tldr: i'm at a boarding school for my apprenticeship right now, and studying is taking up most of my time. so i don't know when i will be able to get back to writing.

or the long version:

as most of you know i'm currently a bookseller apprentice and for the part of it that takes place in school i have to spend 6 weeks at a boarding school. which not only means that i have to study for 6 weeks straight for my exams but also that i have to share a room with someone else, so i really have no time to unmask and relax.

which makes writing really hard for me rn as i neither have the time nor the inspiration to do so. i have enough content scheduled to keep this blog running 'til the end of january but no idea what happens afterwards.

i'm super sorry to anyone who requested something in the last 1-2 weeks because i will probably not get to those requests until the end of february.

i will come back, i promise but it will take me some time :/

[carefree-cafe]

Goodbye, Pelican Town

We just wrapped up several months of streaming Stardew Valley, once per week. It's been a wonderful time, getting to hang out with my friends on Sundays, having a little structure in my life while I'm between jobs, visiting this wonderful little fictional town and helping the little digital inhabitants to live their best lives.

It's a bit bittersweet to leave (even if it's only until 1.6 comes out) but we completed everything we set out to do! We completed the Community Center, got four candles on Grandpa's shrine, unlocked basically everything on Ginger Island, reached the bottom of all four dungeons (well, level 100 of Skull Cavern), got married, opened a movie theater, tracked down a witch...

Stardew Valley is a power fantasy. It's the fantasy that you can move to a totally new place and single-handedly improve the lives of every person you meet. It's a lovely sort of fantasy, I think, for two reasons.

First, it's a kind fantasy. It probably says something about me that I open up this cozy community-building story and wait anxiously for the moment I can grab a sword and dive into a monster-filled dungeon, but I love that the game isn't ABOUT that. I love that the game IS about bringing out the best in the people you meet. It's about putting in a little effort to help fruit fairies rebuild a community and bring everyone together. It's about self-actualizing so hard you help a whole town self-actualize, one person at a time.

Second, it's not a totally unrealistic fantasy. You probably won't evoke change in an entire town's worth of people through direct action. But it's so, so possible to leave someone's life better than when you walked into it. It's so possible to inspire people, especially by doing exactly what the Farmer does - seek your best life and your best self. Even if your best self is a silent man in a skeleton mask handing out pretty rocks.

I started streaming games back in July, just as something to look forward to after coming home from running an underfunded and understaffed summer camp. It was part of a larger ritual of "washing off the grime of the day" with a shower and skin care, making a cup of tea, and settling in to play something cute.

It was also a way of "putting myself out there," something I've struggled with for a long, long time.

But I've said for years, years before I started streaming, that what I really wanted to do was stream games for charity. Charity streams are some of the only streams I tune into, honestly. I love seeing people come together around a silly game to raise money and support for a very serious cause. It's so incredible to see that sort of community.

So, you see, I have community and kindness on the mind as I come out of Stardew Valley, the power fantasy about community and kindness.

I think it's time to actually realize that dream of charity streams.

So, starting in February, Carefree Cafe will be hosting regular charity streams. I have a platform, small as it is, and I want to use it for good.

I'll be on the lookout for good causes, good foundations, good places to raise money for. If you have suggestions and ideas, please PLEASE send them my way. I'd love a big 'ol list of reputable charities to draw from.

I haven't quite figured out the schedule we'll do it on, but I'll be recovering from surgery this week and will have plenty of time to think about it.

I'm so, so excited about this.

Thanks y'all.

Have a great night.

[mostlyihyperfixate]

This is not a very well organized blog post.

Okay, quick update (when am I ever "quick"?) just in case anyone has been reading these and would be interested in an update.

Emmett is doing considerably better than he was. He did go in for surgery and have a feeding tube placed last Friday. It was sort of a bigger deal than I thought--it wasn't just placed through his nose, but sewn into his neck.

He was still really lethargic the following day, worse than before I took him to the vet again. But he had just had surgery, two straight days of being under anesthesia, and the vet put him on a different pain medicine that's easier on his empty stomach, but makes him a little sleepy. So I tried not to worry too much throughout Saturday.

And since then, he's definitely improved. He shows up for meals now, even if he doesn't eat a whole bunch. I mean, I do have to put a bunch of emergency care food into his stomach four to five times a day. Which also includes a lot of water, so I haven't seen him at the water bowl, but not only is his food mixed with water, but he gets his medicines crushed up in water, and his tube needs washed out before and after he's fed. So that's a lot of water.

He spent most of Saturday just sort of blobbing on the floor again. Yesterday, he upgraded to blobbing on the couch after his afternoon meal. Today, he waited until my supper time to start blobbing--and that's almost certainly because he got his pain medicine about hour before that.

The vet says he needs to have that until his feeding tube comes out. He's got a follow-up appointment towards the end of next week to take stock of when that might could happen. And he's eating well enough on his own that I was told to take him off the appetite stimulant today. He isn't eating as well, but he is still eating, so that's good.

He slept with me all last night, which is the best I've slept since this whole thing started. I could reach behind me and touch his side and just make sure he was still breathing. He left pretty early, too, probably 5:00. He meowed at me a lot (he's naturally a chatty boy) and let me pet him, and this afternoon before his feeding, I found him outside on the patio--it was over 80 degrees outside today. It's February. How disgusting. But I went inside to exercise, and when I came back, he was sitting in the grass.

Overall, he looks more like himself, and he's not nearly so hot! He's not hissing when I touch him. I really hope that this means he's on the mend!

I did bite the bullet today and sign him and his brothers up for pet insurance. It's not as unreasonable as I thought, and for all three of them annually, it's still less than I spent on a single vet appointment/procedure Emmett had last week (and he had five). It won't help me with this issue because he won't be covered for another couple of weeks, but it will save me money in the long run, I think.

Anyway, now that that has (mostly) passed, unless something new and scary happens, I can assure you that I will now return to reblogging and posting about Ace Attorney instead of my various adventures with my cat.